#kenobi x reader

[grippingbeskar]

had you said the words

obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader

word count: 7.5k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (oral m and f receiving, general sexual content, obi-wan is a virgin but they don’t actually fuck but yeah) swearing, think that’s it??

a/n: obi wan i love youuUuUuUu. okay in honour of the show coming out i am finally letting go of this lil thing I made. i wrote it months ago but never felt like it was good enough to post but here we are!! im feeling okay about how it turned out so i hope u enjoy and if you didn’t just lie and say you did!!! also this is inspired by that one line from the clone wars u know the one. okay that’s enough goodbye!

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“This is ridiculous! You can’t do this!” You shout to the Jedi council. In front of you is some of the galaxy’s most respected members, the most seasoned generals from the clone wars, and yet not a single one seems to be able to see reason.

“We must. For the good of the Jedi.” Mace Windu says from the corner of the room, not meeting your eye. Your face drops, unable to comprehend their callousness.

“How could you? You know me. I would never jeopardise my career. This is what I’ve done my entire life! I-’

“This isn’t permanent, however the council has made a decision. We cannot afford to have a Jedi falter in their cause - not now, in the middle of a war.” Plo Kloon says, empathy guarded behind the crushing words. So that was that. All this over one decision.

You made one mistake.

One.

During the heat of battle, you lost sight of your focus, lost control, all because of one particular member of the council who sits in front of you now, saying nothing. Obi-Wan cant even look at you, and you dont know if its because of disappointment or if he just doesn’t care as much as you thought he would. Maybe he agrees with them. A sense of anger washed over you and you see him fidget in his chair, locking eyes with you for the first time since the council called session.

“He would have died.” Your voice shakes as you tilt your head towards Obi Wan Kenobi, leaving his gaze to find the rest of the council staring at you. “I saw the situation and reacted. I only did what I had to - to save him.”

“Had to, you did?” Master Yoda croaks from next to Mace, and you shudder a breath under his accusation, but nod.

“Yes.” The council all look at you, well, all except Kenobi, who’s knuckles are going white gripping the side of his chair, and nod. You bow your head, knowing you are fighting a losing battle, and spin to leave the room.

“You are one of the best of us, child. We know you meant no harm, but this is the Jedi way.” Kit calls and you dont get a chance to respond as the doors shutter behind you.

You were heartbroken. All day you had been turning over the events of yesterday in your head, trying to see a way out - another way you could have saved his life without compromising your career. There was none.

It started out as any battle did, the longevity of the Clone wars hardening most Jedi to become seasoned generals. Anakin and Ahsoka took troops around the back to catch the droids from behind, while you and Kenobi engaged the main platoon. It was going well - even perfect, you and Kenobi working seamlessly together, able to read each others minds, know the others thoughts without ever having to look at each other. It had been that way since he found you on Corellia, a teenager with a strong connection to the force and an attitude to boot. He trained you - in spite of everyone who told him you were a lost cause, showed you the ways of the Force and watched you grow into one of the best Jedi in the Republic - you were part of the reason he took a chance on Anakin. 

Either way, no matter how well you knew each other, you never could have expected what happened next.

Breaking the droid lines, you breached their hold. This was the main prize, for it contained the systems that held hundreds of documents detailing the battle regiments of the droids entire army, including exact numbers, weaponry and AT-AT deployments. What neither of you knew was that they had one last surprise set up.

As Obi-Wan entered the hold, you could both feel something was off immediately. You told him as much, and said you should wait for Anakin and Ahsoka to arrive so you could go in together and scan for entities. Obi Wan was convinced there was no time, the droids already beginning to regroup outside the hold. He wasn’t wrong, you could feel them caging you in, but he had always taught you to be patient; to clear your mind before rushing into battle. The role reversal threw you off guard as he pushed forward into the hold.

You still felt uneasy, but you didn’t argue and stepped inside with him. It was huge, monotone walls shutting you into a sphere shaped room, two steel doors that shuttering behind you. As Obi-Wan took one more step, you both heard the click at the same time, heads snapping to find each other’s eyes, and you didn’t even think before you reacted. 

Obi-Wan turned and threw himself at you before you even got a glimpse of the explosive. Within seconds you knew he would be blown to pieces, but his body would shield the blast from you and the board of computers behind you, which contained the information the entire mission was hinged on. Time stood still. This is what is was to be a Jedi - to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, the bigger cause, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Obi-Wan looked down at you, and his eyes were so piercing - so satisfied in his decision to die so that you will live, and you felt him through the Force, a warm longing drifting into your heart. You knew what he was saying; all the words you could never speak out loud, the thoughts you were too afraid to have in fear he would reject them. It was his final goodbye - and you couldn’t take it.

You threw out your hand, finding the explosive through the Force and flinging it behind you, right behind the computers main frame. The blast went off a split second later, shattering the entire set up and motherboard. The information would be gone, a shimmering snow of computer parts and wires falling around you. All you could focus on, though, was how Obi-Wans’ hand had come up to cup the side of your face, and how warm his skin was against your cheek, the failure of the mission worth every second of contact.

“You saved me.” He had said, voice a whisper under the still falling pieces of the destructed technology. You just nodded, and he didn’t move from on top of you, reminding you how it would have been the other way around had you acted half a second later, and he would have been dead. 

His eyes were filled with an emotion you have seen a few times before, but you don’t know what it is. You only know that when he looks at you like that, your heart beat shoots into your throat, and every feeling you tried to lock away when you became a Jedi fights its way back to the surface. 

Once Anakin and Ahsoka arrived, they found you both in amongst the rubble, and it wasn’t until the shock had surpassed that you realised you were both all cut up from the debris. They brought you back to the main base, and you weren’t thinking straight, immediately spilling about how you sustained these injuries. You put Obi-Wans life above the Jedi cause, and even though you knew you would get in trouble for it, you couldn’t hide from the truth.

What you hadn’t expected was Obi-Wans complete silence. He hadn’t spoken to you since you arrived back to base, and you were sure he was just preparing for the council meeting where he would back you, abide by your decision, or at the very least say something. He didn’t. Anakin and Ahsoka tried their best to influence the council, but neither of them held the power to do much. Anakin was still not yet a Master Jedi, and Ahsoka; although she had the attitude of one, was not yet a general.

So now you were marching back to your room, empty halls of the ship seeming colder and colder the further you get from Obi-Wan. You knew what you did betrayed the sacred oath you made the day you put on your Jedi robes. Jedi did not make emotional connections, the order had to be put first, and the good of the galaxy depended on it. You knew you risked countless lives by losing that critical information, and you knew you would be reprimanded.

You didn’t regret it though.

You were always a rule breaker, a little bit of a rebel in regards to the orders strict guidelines on that kind of behaviour - how were you to truly care about the galaxy if you had no one in it to protect? It was human nature to form connections - and practically impossible not to care in the case of Obi-Wan’s life. Did they expect you not to attempt to save him, even when there was a way to do so?

Obi-Wan was one of the many times you broke the rules. You were infatuated with him ever since you met him - he was significantly older than you, yes, although not by so much it would be deemed inappropriate. You were both adults, so it was more your occupations that kept you from admitting your feelings. He found you on Corellia, sacrificed his time and patience to mould you into the perfect fighter, fought for your right to train beside the Jedi even with your training being so late. He stuck up for you your entire life, and it made his silence that much more painful. 

You finally trudged through the ship far enough to find your room, and as you go to enter, you feel two familiar figures come up behind you, and a female voice calls your name.

“We were waiting outside, but they made us leave after they called the session.” Ahsoka says, and she reaches out to hold your arm, careful to miss the bandage holding you together. 

“It’s fine. Nothing happened we didn’t already know would happen.” You knew they would remove your titles - take away your leadership of your battlement. It was a glorified way of grounding you, sending you to your room as if you were a child.

“What of Obi-Wan? There has to be a way to change their mind. He has to be trying.” Anakin says, shaking his head. Him and his master have always gotten along, and their bond is one that rivals brothers, but you know Anakin takes after you in the attitude department, so as he paces up and down the corridor, you know he’s as pissed as you.

“What of him? He couldn’t even look at me. I don’t think he even blinked the entire session.” You scoff, and even Ahsoka shakes her head, more confused than angry.

“He’s going to have to speak up sometime.” Ahsoka says, and releases your arm.

“He will if I have anything to say about it. Padmè will talk to the council about the diplomatic influence, she’s already speaking to the other generals. We will have you back out there in no time.” Anakin’s eyes are fiery, and you smile at the man who was once a boy, small and unsure now so confident and clear.

“If he wanted to, he would of. Thank you, both of you for your help, but I’m just going to have to ride this one out. There’s nothing I can do about it now.” Both of them look at you with the same sympathetic frown, and you would laugh at how similar they are if you weren’t feeling so defeated.

“For what it’s worth, I would have done the same thing.” Anakin says, and he steps forward. You know he’s talking about Padmè, and you nod, a mutual understanding of the conflicting emotions of the Jedi way. They both turn to leave, and you can hear the hushed conversation of their plan as they round the corner.

You enter your room and fall onto the bed, the air rushing out as soon as your head hits the pillow. The past few days have been entirely exhausting, and you weren’t just thinking about the cuts and bruises that now littered your skin. This little incident has forced you to really own up to your feelings towards Obi-Wan. The way you felt when you were faced with the possibility of him dying tore you to shreds, and the strength of those emotions were impossible to draw up to just an admiration of a friend, or a small crush born of gratitude. You were in love with him, and you had been for a while. You knew it was wrong and you wanted to fight it, fight the feeling you drowned in whenever he was in the room, whenever he smiled at you or pulled you away to talk about battle plans, knowing no one else would understand the way he thinks but you.

It also forced you to think about how he may feel about you. He reacted so quickly, throwing himself on top of you when the explosive dropped, and the look in his eye told you he wouldn’t of regretted dying for you. His Force - the energy you knew so well felt different - like he was reaching into your body and touching everything inside you, giving you no option but to yield to him. The intensity of it - it was nothing you had ever felt before.

It made it hard to breathe, thinking about that. Would he have ever felt the same? He was one of the most accomplished Jedi in the galaxy, surely there was no way he would return those feelings, right?

It was impossible - you and him, for so many reasons, the main one being how you were now banned from fighting, banned from council meetings and practically shunned from the Republic just for presenting the idea that he meant more to you than you let on. One mistake, you said to yourself, but you weren’t entirely sure it was a mistake.

Your eyes began to close, and even with everything in your life being pulled apart, you can’t help but drift off. Your energy is drained, and maybe that’s why after you fall into a deep sleep, you don’t feel Obi-Wan’s presence at your door before he knocks, softly, almost as if he doesn’t want you to hear it.

You know its him as soon as you open your eyes, able to recognise his energy anywhere, but when he says your name, you throw the blanket off and move to open the door.

Dull lights from the hallway don’t show you any emotions on his face. It has to be the middle of the night. His hair is out of place and he looks so unlike himself. He is almost always put together, in his robes and armed with his lightsaber, but he stands in front of you in just a few layers and no weapon to be seen.

“Wh- What are you doing?” He shifts his weight onto the other leg and finally looks at you.

“I needed to see you. The council held me all day. May I?” He motions to behind you. Was he asking to come in to your room, at three in the morning? After what has just happened?

“I don’t know if thats a good idea, considering.” Your voice is small. The truth is that you do want him to come in, more than you’ve wanted anything. To have him in close quarters, all to yourself - it’s what you’ve wanted for years, and you hate that you have to sound even slightly hesitant.

“If you don’t want to see me, I understand. I’ll go.” He steps backwards and your hand shoots forward to grab the wrist of his robe before you can think.

“No! I do.” Damn, you folded fast under those puppy dog eyes he was giving you. You step out, looking left and right. The hallway is completely empty, and you dont have long before the skeleton crew of night guards come back through on their rotation. “Come.”

He moves swiftly past you and closes the door behind him, you going to sit on the edge of your bed. You sigh, trying to get a hold of the swirling array of emotion twisting in your stomach. It felt similar to wanting to puke. On one hand you want to scream at him, demand him to answer for the way he acted, or rather didn’t act in the council meeting.

On the other, you want to take advantage of this time. You have already lost the one thing that kept you from admitting your feelings to him, what more could you lose? You don’t get a chance to decide, because he speaks first, standing in front of you.

“I wanted to apologise. The way that I behaved today - it was cowardly. I should have spoken sooner.” You were nodding, but when he says sooner you look up at him and tilt your head. “When the council dismissed you, I felt the true consequence of my actions. I ordered a reconsideration.”

That makes your eyes widen a little. The thought of the Obi-Wan Kenobi arguing with the entire council on your behalf makes the heat in your cheeks heavier, and you look away, hoping he can’t sense it.

“A reconsideration?” You repeat, and he nods.

“Yes. I was afraid I may of found my bearings too late, but I explained how your actions were only fuelled by your respect for me, and that you would have done the same for any council member had they been in my place. I know how much you respect the order and your superiors, and I told them as much. We have a… unique connection, something other people might not completely comprehend. I explained as best I could.” You blink, trying to take in every word, but you are stuck on the first part. Your actions weren’t fuelled by respect. Your heart acted before your mind did, and he had just lied to the council for you, because he knew it too.

“I find it hard to imagine you had anything to say, considering you stayed so silent during the three hours of my own hearing.” Anger bubbles up your chest at his dismissing statement, and he rubs his hands over his face.

“I apologise. I was - not in the right mind to speak. I was afraid I would only make the situation worse.” His voice shakes slightly as he stops talking.

“So, you lied.” 

“I did not lie. You deserve your place, on the battle field and on that council one day. I will not let this incident ruin your career. Not over something like this.” The unsaid words hang in the air, thick as smoke.

Not over me.

“You did lie. You told them I did it out of respect.” You can’t look at him, nerves starting to break up that anger you felt as his voice gets softer. He says your name again, and you take a deep breath, preparing yourself for his response.

“I also told them about what I did. You are not the only one who acted on instinct. I was unprepared; arrogant even. I should have listened to you.” You scoff and shake your head. “Tell me how I can make this right.”

“Look, whats done is done. Thank you for speaking in my favour, but the council has made up their minds.” Defeated, and convinced you weren’t going to hear what you so desperately wanted to hear, you move further away from him on the bed and let your back rest against the wall. He was quiet for a moment, letting you sigh and sink into the wall. Maybe he thought you were going to continue - he seemed to be anticipating something. After a while, though, he starts to fidget and shifts his weight to the other side again.

“I know you have more to say to me. Argue with me; yell at me, if you must. Just speak to me.” He finally speaks. You dont remember ever seeing him this unsteady. You sigh again and find his eyes, already looking at you, pleading.

“You threw yourself at me. You would have died today if I hadn’t thrown that explosive. Do you really expect me to believe you also did that out of respect for the Jedi?” His face doesn’t change, he doesn’t even move. “Because I didn’t. I didn’t think about the Jedi, or the information on those computers. I wasn’t even thinking about myself. I thought of you. I wanted to save you.” The confession sheds a weight of your shoulders you didn’t even know you were carrying, and your mouth is suddenly dry as Obi-Wan continues to stare at you. He goes to speak and his voice cracks, so he swallows hard and tries again.

“I wanted to save you too.” You think you stopped breathing. “If you had gone in first, you would have.... It would have been my fault. I couldn’t bare it; to lose you would destroy everything.” Your eyebrows furrow together and you slide off the bed, standing only a few steps from him.

“Destroy your plan to get me on the council?” 

“It would destroy me.” You see it beginning to crack; the fragile glass ceiling that kept your deepest secrets below. You suck in a breath as his voice cracks and he keeps talking somehow. “What you said, about lying to the council. You are right. You know I respect you as a general, and I want all those things I spoke about for you. I want to provide that for you. To think you would lose that because of me - it couldn’t happen.”

It couldn’t happen.

This, the heat swirling in between you in the dimly lit room, it couldn’t happen. It would mean the destruction of both of your lives, and you knew that. You never expected him to say any of this in front of the council, but a small part of you dared to hope he would say it to you. 

“I understand.” Your head drops, and you see his hand rise up, and a finger coming underneath your chin. Your breath hitches as he gently brings your face back up to his, the warmth of his skin a welcomed return. This was it. The crossing of the invisible line. It felt so much easier to do now that you were here. You resist the urge to press into his touch.

“I lied to the council, but I am not sure how much longer I can lie to myself.” His eyes search yours for any sign of confusion, or resentment, or anything other than the heavy longing that has been building over years and years of close proximity. However, its you who hesitates this time, although you dont pull away.

“Obi, this - I won’t let you risk your position for this. Mine is already at threat, we can’t - I know what the order means to you. I couldn’t - ”

“Had you said the words, I would have left the Jedi Order.” Your heart flutters and your stomach drops. Left? “I nearly lost you yesterday and I - I don’t know what to do. How can I continue on this path when I feel this way? The one thing that feels right - how can it be viewed as so wrong?” You step towards him this time, wanting to be closer.

“You mean you-”

“When I threw myself over you yesterday, it was because I couldn’t imagine living in this galaxy if you were not by my side. You are the only thing worth more than this. Any of this. I want - truely, I want to serve the republic - the planets, bring aid and peace where I can and protect those who cannot fend for themselves. It is all I’ve wanted my entire life. I never knew I could- that I would want anything else- until I met you.” You bring your hand to cover his own on your face, and he closes his eyes when your hands thread together.

“You won’t have to leave this behind. I swear. I’ll talk to the council, admit it was my fault. We can figure this out, together.” You can’t compute his confession, not yet, not when he’s going down this road of throwing everything he’s worked for out the vat - for you.

“You will do no such thing.” Your face is screwed up with worry and your anxiety of the danger of confessing your feelings is creeping up, but you feel his energy mixing with your own, and he is so calm and steady it makes your hands stop shaking.

“I care for you, too. A little too much, I think.” He smiles for the first time in days, absorbing the heat of your words and letting them sink into his skin. “We- we just need time. We can figure this out. Let this whole thing settle down first.” You nod at your own plan and hold his hand tighter to your face, not wanting the contact to end.

“Whatever you want, I will make sure of it. I will not silence myself again, I swear it.” You smile this time, and his thumb comes to run over your bottom lip. His eyes widen with the contact, as if he’s surprised by his own actions.

“I know why you did now. You didn’t want them to think it was true. Because you already knew how I felt about you, didn’t you?” You smile a little and he mirrors it.

“You were never all that proficient at hiding how you feel. It took everything in me to cover your anger during the session.” You think of how he was so concentrated, looking almost in pain as he watched you in silence. “But yes, I have known of your feelings for a while, although I wasn’t sure if they were aimed at me.” You step forward again, and you can feel his chest against yours, robes brushing your bare arms.

“How long?”

“A few months. My own - affections, however, have been stirring for quite longer, if I am honest with myself.” He almost sounds ashamed, and you want to punch every single council member for making him feel that way.

“If it makes you feel better, I have definitely had a crush on you for longer than that.” He breaths out a laugh, and you feel it on your cheeks. 

“Is that so?” You loved this side of him, teasing and lighthearted. It was rarer these days, but it made you feel warm inside that he let you see it.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” You roll your eyes and grin at him, and he closes the distance between you. He doesn’t kiss you, but he’s close enough that if you stuck your chin out just a fraction, your lips would touch. Your legs feel like jelly and you are sure he can feel how nervous you are through the energy you must be putting out, but you never hide it. Not from him. You hear him swallow, and you keep your eyes closed.

Just in case.

“I don’t know what this is.” He says, his honesty making you feel a lot more at ease. Neither of you have any idea how to play this, of what is too far. All you know is how badly you want him to kiss you.

“Neither do I.” He nods and leans his forehead to yours. Now all you would have to do is tilt your head, and you could finally feel him against you how you have wanted to all these years. “We can just- go slow. Okay?”

“Slow.” He says and you can feel him sigh, and then he moves. He tilts his head. You stay deadly still, afraid to scare him off. As much as you both are completely inexperienced, you are pretty sure he has less an idea than you do. You were 19 when he found you, and didn’t become a Jedi until two years after, so you had some time to experiment in that department, but from what you know, Obi-Wan has been dedicated since childhood - something you admire about him.

His breathing picks up and his lips brush against yours. He was right there, all you had to do was move. He makes a small sound in the back of his throat and you cant contain yourself anymore. You move your head to capture his mouth in yours.

The kiss is as perfect as any first kiss you could imagine. It was sweet, no tongue, just slow, simple movements as you both explore the feeling of each other. His free hand comes to your hip on instinct, pressing you harder against him. He clearly wasn’t prepared for his own action again, a moan of surprise vibrating against your lips as your bodies come together. You move both of your arms around his neck, one tangling in his messy hair.

As you start to find a rhythm, the hand on your hip gets tighter, needing you to be closer, to touch more of him. You need it too, and as much as you wanted to rip his clothes off right now, your sense of urgency is dulled by the unknown of if this would ever happen again, so you were going to be as slow and explorative as possible. 

You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, and you feel him jolt a little under the movement. It sends warmth through your entire body to know how affected he is by you, and it only makes you want to give him more. You owed everything to him, your entire life, and you wanted to show him just how much you appreciated him. 

He opens up to you and you slide into his mouth, the feeling of him moving against you making you moan. The sound mades him tense, and he gets a little more desperate with his movements, kissing you a little harder and walking to back you up against the bed. You spin and push him back, and his legs give out so he sits on the edge.

He looks up at you, chest heaving. He extends his arms and you take the hint, straddling him and bringing your mouth back to his. Both of his hands stay off your ass, one coming back on your hip, which you think he likes because he can create the tiniest amount of friction between you, the other resting on the small of your back. You keep your arms around his neck and he twists his head a little, inching your hand back up into his hair. You smile a little and oblige him, twisting your fingers through the soft strands. 

You start to feel him harden underneath you, but you don’t want to push him. Instead, you just follow the grip on your hip and start to move when he does, grinding against him ever so slightly. He moans instantly, a deep, low sound that vibrates to your bones. You do it again, and he gasps, so you tear your lips away from him to let him breath. His mouth chases yours and you giggle.

“I don’t think I will ever get enough of that.” He murmurs as he kisses your nose. You roll your hips again and his spine straightens, capturing your lips in another kiss. “Or that.”

“So greedy.” He laughs and kisses you again, and you can tell he’s not really sure where to go from here as his grip begins to loosen on your hip. “Have you ever..?”

He shakes his head, and drops his forehead to your chest. You let the tips of your fingers lightly scrape against his scalp and he ‘hmms’ under his breath, enjoying the sensation but also hiding from you.

“Thats okay. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be with you right now. Whatever that means.” He looks up and kisses you again. You know what this would mean, the final nail in the coffin for him.

Technically, its the emotional connection that the Jedi do not allow. The physical side of things is not forbidden, as long as there is no relationship, although most Jedi observe celibacy as a general rule. You have since you met him, it would have been impossible for you to have one without the other. 

The movement of your hips is not the problem for him, though. It’s the fact that you both know there is more here than just a physical attraction. You admitted it. This would be breaking the code.

You only care right now if he does.

“I want- Maker. I want to. This is-“ He talks and cuts himself off by kissing you, never finishing a sentence. You look up and laugh and he just kisses your throat, turning to kiss your neck when you look to the side. You stop laughing when you feel his arms wrap around you tighter and a slight scrape of his teeth against the spot that makes you shiver. He pulls back to look at you, and then does it again, kissing and scraping his teeth, biting experimentally.

You can tell he’s enjoying it, and he spends a while moving himself up and down your neck, finding all the little places that make you gasp and hum.

“Oh, Obi. Shit.” Your head drops to his shoulder and your hips start to move on their own. He keeps kissing your neck, starting to suck and bite in the spot he seems to have deemed his favourite. He moans against your skin, and a small fire in the pit of your stomach sparks and warms your entire body. You pull on his hair again, and his hips buck slightly.

“This is okay?” He says against you and you nod and roll your hips again.

“Yes. Yes.” He continues, and that same shiver goes up your spine.

“You are so soft.” His nose drags along your throat and your mouth drops open.

“Can I- Can I touch you?” You ask desperately and he pulls away from your skin, nudging your head up to find your eyes.

“You want to?” He seems genuinely curious, and you nod. Your hands come to his chest and you slide them up to his shoulders, bringing the two layers of robes off his shoulders slowly, giving him ample time to stop you. He helps to pull them off, and then you bring his hands to your shirt. His eyes widen a little at the thought, but you see him try to regain composure.

“Do you want to?” He grabs the hem of your shirt and fists the material.

“Please.” He breaths out and pulls your shirt over your head slowly, goosebumps appearing where his fingertips brush your skin. When the shirt finally comes off he lets his eyes trail along your now exposed skin, just a small bralette holding you from him. You lean back a little so both of his hands can find your ribs, and they run strong lines up and down your sides.

“So soft.” He repeats and you begin to melt into his lap.

You bring your hands to the hem of his shirt, and he clearly is not as patient as you, his own coming over the top and whipping the shirt over his head. You have seen him without his shirt before, sometimes after training he would tear it off before he disappears into his room and you would get a glimpse of his back, but now you were up close and could look as much as you want.

He was built; bigger than he looks under all those robes, and you run your hands over the hard muscle, wanting to remember the feeling of every inch. He keeps one hand on your rib cage and brings the other to your chin to kiss you again.

“You are beautiful.” He whispers, and your heart sparks at the compliment.

“So are you.” You return and he smiles into the kiss. Your hand finds the hem of his pants, fingertips dancing along the seam and he sucks in a deep breath. “We don’t have to do anything. Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

“Have you done this? Before.” As much as you want to tell him no if only to make him relax, you can’t lie to him. You nod your head.

“Not for a while. Not since I met you.” This sparks something in his eye, and you would never have picked him for a possessive guy, but it seems he likes the idea of him being the reason you haven’t.

“I have not. I am not sure I know-“

“Anything you do is perfect. Just relax, okay? Let me make you feel good.” He tilts his head as you slide off him, and sits up a little to come with you. You just stop him with your hands on his thighs, and slip your fingers into the waistline of his pants.

You aren’t sure how you manage to be so patient with the way he’s looking at you - eyes wide and bottom lip between his teeth, but you wait. Wait for him to say stop, or to bring you back into his lap and change the direction. He does neither, and you pull ever so slightly, revealing skin you’ve never seen before. You tilt your head up at him and he just nods repeatedly, moving his hips in a silent plea.

“Oh, Maker. What do I d-” With another deep breath, his eyes flutter closed and then back open, trying to figure out if he wants to watch or just feel you. You slide his pants down a little more and you can see how hard he is already. You look up at him again, and he’s staring so intently that you feel he would have said something if he wanted you to stop. His energy is warm around you, like nothing you’ve ever felt and it is full of curiosity and heat. You pull his pants down past his knees.

Sliding in between his legs you bring your face closer to his length, and your breath is hot against his skin. His pants drop to his ankles and he quickly kicks them off.

You start slow, placing a kiss to the inside of his thigh, and his hips jolt in response. You laugh breathlessly, and decide there will be plenty of time to tease him later.

You were going to make this so good for him that he will never be able to think of anything else when he looks at you.

You start at his head, kissing him gently. Then, finding his eyes you lick a long stripe up him from base to tip. He strangles a moan, and his eyes never leave you as you take the tip of him into your mouth and suck gently.

“I-oh maker. Fuck.” You can see the way every part of his body relaxes under your manipulation, and a rush of heat floods your body. Something about Obi-Wan swearing, coming undone because of you makes your own arousal begin to grow, but you try to focus all your energy on him. You stay there for a while, gently sucking and letting your tongue swipe over him, enjoying the little moans he makes every time you do so.

When your sure he’s relaxed, you look up at him again and spit, bringing your hand up to coat his length, making it as wet as you can. His eyes roll back at the image, and every time your hand works him his hips buck to meet you.

You take him into your mouth and hollow your cheeks, letting him fuck your face as much as he wants. He was acting off pure instinct, it’s still slow and a little uncertain but he starts to go a little deeper when he feels you moan around his length, a wordless plea for him to take what he needs. A hand finds your hair, not to push you down but just to hold, a reminder of where he is. The other arm supports his weight as he no longer holds himself up, and you pull off of him after a few strokes, saliva coating your mouth.

“How does it feel?” His eyes are squeezed shut and his abs are flexing so hard he almost looks like he’s in pain. You don’t know why it didn’t occur to you before, but he’s probably also never had an orgasm. It makes you want to work even harder, make him feel even better, so you take him back inside your mouth before he answers.

“So go-ah! So good. Stars- You feel so good. How are you so good?” He’s completely lost in his own pleasure and it makes you feel all tingly in your stomach. You try to keep your eyes on him and work him faster, grip him harder as you push to get him over the edge. You keep pumping him in your hand as your mouth comes off him to catch your breath for a second.

“I can make you feel so much better.” You take him back into your mouth, and the sounds of him inside of you are only muffled by how loud he is, moaning your name and strangled cries every time he hits the back of your throat. Small tears start to form in your eyes but you keep going, every sound he makes only making you feel hotter. You can feel him everywhere - and when you start to take him as deep as you can, he hits the back of your throat once and he shudders.

“Wait! St-stop. Wait.” Immediately you pull off him, and you can see how fucking close he was, the tip of him leaking pre cum and his entire body shaking.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He nods, trying to catch his breath. You wipe your mouth with your thumb, and slip it into your mouth wanting to savour the taste of him.

“Something feels - strange. I don’t know wh-” He’s breathing so hard it takes him a moment to get the words out in a way you understand - but you know. You know exactly what he’s going to say, and save him from his clear embarrassment when you lean up to whisper on his ear.

“Good strange? Or bad?”

“I can’t- good. Overwhelming; I can’t feel a-anything else.” He sounds a little worried, but the pleasure is evident in how he drags out his words. He’s worried because he can’t feel the familiar safety of the Force when his mind goes blank.

“It’s- it’s okay. I promise. Relax, okay? I’m right there with you.” He nods rapidly and even though he’s noticeably a little nervous his body scoots further off the edge, closer to your mouth. You smile and lean in, and he instantly falls right back into his building orgasm.

You work him hard and fast, swirling your tongue and taking him as deep as you can. He gets louder as you get quicker, and you can’t help but moan around him as he thrusts into you with less composure.

“Hol- yes, that’s- right there oh gods-“ His entire body shakes as he cums in your mouth. His orgasm takes all the strength in his body and he falls back, arm giving out as he flops onto the bed. He says your name over and over and it’s like it hits him in waves, you just keep pumping him into your mouth and taking whatever he gives you. His abs are flexing every time you take him into the back of your throat and the slight reaction as he stops moaning your name makes you slow down.

His hand comes over his abdomen and you watch as he begins to come back to his body, the rise and fall of his chest becoming a little more even as you slide him out of your mouth.

“Come here.” He says, his voice so low and thick that you move faster than you thought possible. You come up next to him, and gasp as his hands find your wrists and he pins you against the bed, both of you vertical on the bed and your head perfectly centre on the pillows. He looks over you, completely naked and kisses you deeply, his tongue sliding into your mouth. He was a quick learner. The taste of him is still on your tongue, and the mixture of his mouth makes your head spin.

“Was that okay?” You ask under him and he presses a short kiss to your lips and then laughs.

“You are joking, right? That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.” You blush at the way he looks at you, completely enamoured. “I want to make you feel like that.” You freeze and all the blood in your body rushed to your core. A look of determination you’ve seen from training covers his expression.

“You don’t have to, don’t feel like ob-“

“Let me make you feel good.” He purrs your words from earlier in your ear and your eyes flutter closed as he pulls your pants down your legs. He leaves your underpants on, and shifts so his body is between your legs. He hangs above you, and the way his eyes drop down to your underwear and slowly work their way back up to your face makes you feel hot all over. He stays like that, above you as he does something you can only describe as admiring you.

One of his hands brushes over your stomach, fingers tracing aimless lines along your skin. You try to stay as still as possible, but the way he looks at you, how he runs his hands so so close to the hem of your underwear, and then slide away to explore somewhere else. It isn’t long until your squirming underneath him.

“Please, Obi-Wan.” He blinks a couple times, focusing back on what he was doing.

“Sorry. Your beautiful.” He leans down to press a kiss to your stomach, and then copies what you did to him, moving down your body, kissing your thighs and it making your back arch. “Show me.”

“Wh-what do you want to do?” He looks up at you and, after seeing you smile at him encouragingly, slowly drags your underpants down your legs, making sure his fingertips touch all the exposed skin they can on the way. Then he lays down between your legs, and looks up at you, awaiting instruction. “Fuck. O-okay.”

You open your legs a little more and let your hand tangle in his hair. He leans into that touch, and he ‘hmms’ again as you run your fingertips through it. He kisses your thighs again, and his tongue darts out to lick the skin there a little bit. You realise he’s still waiting.

“Just- anything. Please touch me.”

“Hmm. You never were a good teacher.” Your jaw drops open and you laugh without making a sound, way too distracted with how sexy he looks between your legs.

“Give me your hand.” He does as you ask, and you run his hand down over your stomach. His hands are softer than you thought, and when you bring one of his fingers over your clit, you let out a long moan of his name.

You show him how you would touch yourself, but somehow it feels a hundred times better with his hand. He follows your motions and you let go, fisting the blankets as he copies you. It takes him a moment but he never takes his eyes off you, watching as each time he touches you right your body reacts, and faster than you were prepared for he starts to build a perfect pattern.

“Like this?” He applies more pressure and you arch further off the bed. Of course he would be a fast learner. You feel him move closer, his breath hot on your arousal. You nod frantically and moan in a loud, long release. “What about this?”

“Oh fuck! Yes, just like that!” He flicks his tongue over your clit. You don’t remember a time you’ve been this sensitive so fast, but then again you’ve never had someone as incredible as Obi-Wan Kenobi between your legs. He swirls his tongue in the same pattern he was creating with his fingers and the feeling intensifies, your nerve endings buzzing with pleasure.

“Need more. Wanna feel you.” You break out between gasps and he unfortunately takes his expert mouth off you to answer.

“Okay, darling. Show me, okay?” He brings his hand up again and you quickly bring two of his fingers into your mouth and suck on them. He never takes his eyes of you, the image of you sucking his cock earlier surely running through his mind. You run his hand back down and guide them to your entrance and he slides them into you.

“Move them- oh, shit - up. Just a little.” You prop yourself up on your forearms but your head drops back as he curls his fingers inside you, and you practically sob when he does it again while returning his mouth to your clit.

He starts slow, and you are too enveloped in your own pleasure to give him instructions, but it’s like he reads your body. You both work so in sync with each other on the battle field and in meetings, it makes sense he would be able to give you exactly what you were so desperate for without having to speak. He can feel every time he does in the right way, when his tongue and his fingers sync up, and he chases the form every time.

Once he figures out a pattern that makes you squirm he goes faster. The pace makes your eyes roll in the back of your head thinking about how good he makes you, and only you, feel.

“Right there. Oh m-“ He takes your clit into his mouth and sucks. If you thought he was loud, you were definitely louder as you cry out, begging him not to stop.

“So- stars; so pretty.” He says and you can feel the heat of his words on your wetness. “And so wet. For me?”

“Yes. Always for you.” He groans and goes faster and faster, his entire mouth exploring the taste of you while still hitting that spot that makes you cry out.

“So fucking warm. Thought about this - feel perfect.” The lewdness of his words make your legs begin to shake and you can’t see - can’t feel anything but the earth shattering sensation filling every part of your body.

Pleasure builds faster than ever and you can’t prepare for how hard you cum in his mouth. Everything flashes in sparkles of heat and melts your mind until you can’t think - pulling his hair and riding his face through your pleasure.

Your leg muscles were sore already and you manage to open your eyes to see your thighs have seized up around his head, keeping him in place. He doesn’t seem to mind, and although he has taken his fingers out of you his mouth remains, aimlessly tasting you seemingly for his own enjoyment. He has no idea the effect he’s having on you, and his tongue brushes over your clit occasionally, the overstimulation making your lungs burn.

“Oh Maker. Obi please come here.” You say, and your shakey legs drop open from his head. He looks up at you, and takes a final taste of your pussy before crawling up your body, kissing you.

“You taste sweet.” He whispers into your mouth. There’s something about how dirty the words are mixed with how proper and polite he always is that makes your legs shake for a different reason, and you pull him down next to you, curling your body into his.

“You are amazing.” It’s his turn to blush, and you see a little red come across his cheeks in the dim light of the room.

“Hardly in comparison, my love.” Your heart is slamming in your ears. That was your favourite nickname, you think. He brushes the hair out of your face, a finger tucking it behind your ear so he can see you better.

“Can you stay?” He shouldn’t. You know he shouldn’t, because if anyone sees him leaving tomorrow everything you both said at the council meeting will be worthless.

“Of course I will stay. As long as you want me to.” You smile into his neck as you bury your face there.

“I want you all the time.”

“Then I will stay all the time.” You both smile, enjoying the simplicity of this moment, knowing it will not last.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now, okay?” You can sense his worry - and you are relieved you sense no regret like you were so sure he would feel. His muscles relax under your words and he nods, pulling your back against his chest so you can feel his slowing heart beat. Somehow - as if it was possible, you feel more connected to him that before. Your energies were always intertwined, but now it’s like they were fused. You could still tell who was who, and they could be taken apart, but together they formed something greater - stronger; and you knew he could feel it too.

You both fall asleep soon after, knowing tomorrow will bring forward a thousand new challenges, with a million new consequences.

You don’t care.

The world could burn down around you, and you would happily watch it, as long as you could do so in his arms. There will be nothing they can take, nothing they can say that will diminish how you feel, and no Jedi Order could convince either of you that what you felt for each other was wrong.

If anything, it made you stronger, and maybe one day you could prove it to them.

[221bshrlocked]

where it wasn’t

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Ben x Fem!Reader (post-Kenobi Series era)

Words: 18,763 (can you tell I’m unwell?)

Warnings: 18+ only. Angsty Smut. Mutual Pining/Porn with some plot. Touch-Starved Obi-Wan. Lots of Kissing. Some form of competency kink? Marking Kink (again idk). Dirty/Sweet Talk. Slight Choking. Overstimulation. Penetrative, Unprotected Sex. Slight Breeding Kink. Some tears here and there because Obi-Wan just needs a fucking hug. 

Summary: “I- I am most flattered by your a-admiration but-” Ben grunts when you accidentally graze one of his nipples, his mind instantly going into hyperdrive and making him lose his train of thoughts. “But I highly doubt this is the most impressive form you’ve ever come across.” His voice is strained, that you’re certain of, and you want to see how far you can take it with him before he can no longer hold back. You’re close to thinking against it, but as you continue to knead his tight muscles, you notice a dark blush creeping down his neck to his chest and decide to tease him just a little bit more.

A/N: Yes, it is a massage au. Yes, the trope is basic as fuck. Yes, this fic is just an excuse to write porn. Yes, it is very much a self-indulgent story because I deal with trauma by reading or writing angsty smut. No, I am not okay after this week’s episode. This is completely inspired by the scene in episode 4 though...you know, the bacta tank one. Please don’t judge me. Enjoy and please be kind in the comments. I have never written for our beloved General before. Also, this is not beta’d...

He should not be here, it was neither safe nor necessary. But the bit of him that longed for another’s touch, a stranger’s kindness if you will, forced him to come out of his shell and go out of his way to come here again. He would regret it later of course, and the guilt would last for weeks before he no longer felt traces of her touch on his skin. Only then would he reevaluate his decisions and come to the conclusion that perhaps it was not as selfish or as dangerous as he deemed it to be. 

An obnoxious string of laughter snaps him out of his haze, and he rubs his palms together to familiarize himself with the calmness he once walked hand-in-hand with. Pushing the hood higher upon his head, he crosses his arms together and approaches the dingy doors of the establishment he’s grown to seek out ever since he returned to Tatooine once more. A lump of anxiety forms in his dry throat all of a sudden and he barely manages to swallow it down as he enters the rather quiet building.

As soon as he steps past the threshold of the dimly lit entrance, he’s bombarded with a variety of scents, ones which he prayed to the Maker he would get to memorize again. He looks around as if this is his first time requesting the services the establishment offers, hoping that someone could put him out of his misery and recognize how difficult it was for him to come here. When he sees several others waiting to be led into one of the private rooms, he takes a deep breath and slowly moves towards one of the corners of the room. 

However, before he has a chance to muster up the courage to ask when the next available appointment is, he hears his name uttered softly from behind him. He reluctantly turns around and feels his chest collapse at the sight of you. The weeks may have taken a toll on him, but the absence of your eyes pushed him to grow more fond of you than the last time he was here. He parts his lips to say something but the words die in his throat when he allows his focus to trail down your form. Somehow, you looked more mesmerizing in the old fabrics hugging your body than anyone ever had the right to. He cannot remember the last time he was so starstruck by the mere presence of another, but as he stands here, looking at you as if you were the rarest of flowers on this desert planet, he can’t help himself from smiling at you and bowing his head. 

“I thought I would never see you again.” Your voice pulls him from the trance he’s under, and he walks towards you slowly, his hands remaining steadfast at his sides to remind himself that he cannot reach for you no matter how much he needs to. 

“I- I hate to admit this, dear one, but I did not think you would ever see me again either.” Were it not for the hesitation veiling his words, you would have grown more offended at the rather sudden and somewhat rude exclamation. Neither of you say anything for a few moments though, and it’s only when you smile and look at your feet that he finally takes those last few steps towards you. Ringing your fingers nervously, you clear your throat and turn your attention to his light blue ones again, wishing you could find some bit of honesty that would let you know he missed you as much as you missed him. 

“I see. Well, if you’re looking for someone else’s services, I will gladly recommend one or two that-” You try to change the subject but he cuts you off abruptly, and reaches out to rest his hand on your shoulder. 

“No, please no.” When he sees the way you flinch at the touch of his hand, the subtle smirk gracing his handsome features drops and turns into an even more beautiful pout. 

“My apologies, it was never my intention to make you uncomfortable.” It’s his turn to play with his hands to distract himself, and it takes you longer than necessary to put yourself together and not think of how large and firm his hand felt atop your skin. 

“You never make me uncomfortable, Ben. In fact, you’re the only client I have that makes me look forward to coming into work every day.” It’s a longshot, that you are certain of, but the slight widening of his eyes and the way his shoulders tense let you know that, although he didn’t expect you to be so forthright with him after such a long time of not seeing or speaking together, he wasn’t opposed to the true meaning behind your words. 

“You- you flatter me with your kind words.” He can’t bear to hold your gaze, afraid that if he looks for too long, you’d come to realize why he was so desperate to see you again. Some part of him longed to tell you how much cared for you ever since that first time you invited him into the parlor to ease his aches, but he knew there would be no going back once you were aware of the hidden thoughts and rather inappropriate dreams which plagued him for weeks on end. 

“Not at all. Flattering implies I don’t mean what I’m saying. I’m just being honest Ben, and- well, I hope you can see that because…” You trail off when you notice him actively avoiding your eyes, and as you’re about to apologize for being too forward, a rather impatient trandoshan struts by and bumps into you on his way out. You trip and fall right into Ben’s arms, but before you can turn around and give the customer a piece of your mind, you hear Ben grunt in pain as he readjusts his hold on your waist. 

“Oh Ben, you didn’t tell me you’re hurt!” You let go of him and step away, quickly trailing your eyes down his form to try and figure out where exactly he was wounded. He always wore those ripped, dirty clothes that hid him from prying eyes, and you wished he could finally be comfortable enough with you to allow you to give him a massage without his clothes. You got the sense early on that he was a man who relied on staying hidden, both physically and emotionally, so the idea of him stripping for you set your mind into overdrive. But as you stare at the pained expression on his tired features, you shake your thoughts away and reach for his hand. 

Ben finally dares to look at you, furrowed eyebrows slowly coming to rest easily when he sees the loving and patient look swimming in your eyes. A year ago, he would have snatched his hand away and stormed out of the city to the comfort of his cave. He would have refused to return to this side of the planet out of fear of seeing whomever dared to touch him so intimately. But as he stands there in the middle of your parlor, with the warmth of your skin engulfing him so sweetly and lovingly, he can’t bring himself to let go of you, not because you might be offended, but because he can’t stand not feeling you close to him any longer. 

“Ben, come with me. Please.” You wait until his shoulders sag in relief and acceptance before you pull him behind you and into the hallway. If anyone attempts to ask why he got priority over the others, you simply stare at them and narrow your eyes sternly to prevent them from thinking of breathing his way. As you lead Ben through the narrow and rather hot establishment, you feel a sense of unnerving peace wash over you. Here was a man that you knew, for certain, did not enjoy the company of others and yet followed you blindly and without question towards an unknown. Granted he came here a few times before, but you always led him to one of the more public rooms, knowing that he probably felt more comfortable seeing others being taken care of like him. 

You look back once and bite into your lower lip when you see the hazed look upon his face. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that his pupils were dilated simply from the mere touch of your fingers against his coarse skin. 

“Where are you taking me?” His voice, laced with a hint of anxious desperation, makes you stop in your tracks, and you turn around to face him immediately, knowing that he may have still felt uncomfortable at the prospect of being alone with you. 

“My room. It’s more private and…safe. I’m sorry, I- I should have asked you before I led you here. We can go back if you want.” You leave the sentiment open-ended, but you hope that he can see through the offer and notice how much you really didn’t want to be around anyone else but him.

“N-no. Perhaps it is better if you attend to me in more private quarters.” As soon as the words leave his lips, Ben catches onto the double-meaning in between the agreement, and he frantically shakes his head to make sure you didn’t think he expected anything more from you. 

“Relax, it’s only me.” You rub his wrist and smile at him before you continue down the hallway, and Ben rolls his eyes at his idiocy as you look forward and lead him to your room. He doesn’t know what to expect from the night, but he hopes that you muster up the courage to cross the invisible line he’s planted in the sand ever since he came to you because he knew well enough that he wouldn’t be able to move past it himself. 

When you finally reach your room, Ben squeezes your hand for a moment to remain grounded, his heart finally accepting to return to a normal heartbeat when you return the flex and keep your attention on him. He waits patiently as you push in the code to your doors, and when the heavy metal swishes open, he blinks slowly to remember his self-control before he steps into your room. 

Whatever he thought he would find in your private chambers is somehow similar and different from reality. The room is not as spacious as the others you’ve taken him to but it certainly holds many more things, the most surprising of which was a large bacta tank right below one of the windows. It’s also more homey than the others, which is not surprising to him considering you did let him know that this was your personal room and not one occupied by the others during the hours of the parlor. 

“Is it…pleasing to you?” Ben is surprised by the question, and he lets go of your hand to cross his arms and wander around the chambers. He notices a large bed at the opposite end of the room and regrets where his mind wanders to instantly. Ben is sure his beard is hiding a deep blush heating through his cheeks, and he clears his throat when he turns around and looks at you. He means to offer you a vague answer, but as soon as he takes in a deep breath and the natural scent of the room hits his senses, his heart skips a beat because-

Maker, if he thought your scent was maddening before, it was driving him crazy with lust and need for you now. 

“You will find that I will never disagree with anything your hands caressed.” 

It is far from the response he wanted to offer you, but the reaction he gets out of you from those simple words shoots straight to his cock and makes him clench his fists tightly to try and remain in control. He can see the visible shiver that courses through your body and the way your chest rises and falls rapidly at such a bold exclamation, and against his better judgment, Ben uncrosses his arms and approaches you with careful steps. 

“You f-flatter me Ben.” He can tell you’re embarrassed by the attention he’s freely showering you with all of a sudden, and the shy reaction makes it more difficult for him to keep himself in check, not because of how submissive he’s sure you would be willing to be for him, but because he wants, more than anything, to see that same expression etched on your beautiful features as you came undone around his cock and marked him as yours. 

“Never, little one. I only speak the truth.” Again, whereas he only wished to put you at ease, his body reacts of its own volition and Ben reaches to caress your cheek with his hand. If you’re surprised by the familiarity of the touch, you hide it quickly and choose to close your eyes to commit this moment to memory. 

“B-Ben,” it’s your turn to reach for him, but as soon as you place your hand atop his right shoulder, Ben flinches away and grabs for his side. The reaction is enough to bring you back to reality, and you remember why you brought him to your room in the first place. 

“Kriffing hell, are you trying to distract me on purpose?” You frown and move past him swiftly, not bothering to give him a chance to say anything as you prep the bacta tank. 

“This will not be necessary, I assure you I am-” Ben follows closely behind you to get you to calm down and face him, but you brush him aside and shake your head as the tank fills with water. As you wait for it to be ready, you clear your throat and turn to him again, gaze more stern than Ben ever thought you capable of. 

“I have never been overbearing with you Ben, and I think you can tell that it never bothered me to be quiet and patient with you. But I’m sorry I can’t be either of those things right now. You- you’re hurt and I am sure you neglected to take care of your wounds due to whatever sort of justification you thought up. So, please, if you ever valued our friendship, get in the tank. I can leave if you want some privacy, but just- maker, please let me take care of you.” You choose your words carefully and refuse to back down from Ben’s intense stare as he rubs his beard and visibly thinks over your proposition. He’s quiet for too long to your liking, but when he looks to the bacta tank behind you, he shakes his head and purses his lips tightly. 

“I…cannot afford this, darling. Surely you know that.” Had you not known him, you would have been offended by his words. You almost snap at him but when you notice the ear-to-ear smile breaking across his face, you barely hold back from returning the expression and instead narrow your eyes at him. 

“If you think me cruel enough to charge you for something so important, then I suggest you pack your things and leave…after you use the bacta tank of course.” You know he’s not buying your act one bit, and the idea that you’ve come to a point in your relationship with Ben where the two of you don’t mind teasing each other makes your stomach flutter with warmth. 

“I brought nothing with me except the clothes on my back sweetheart.” His words light a flame across your chest then, and you swallow the lump in your throat as you keep his gaze and notice the curious eyebrow he was aiming at you. Surely he wasn’t flirting with you…was he?

“L-like I said, I can give you privacy if you-” You step back and aimlessly point to a door beside you to let him know that you don’t mind leaving him alone. But Ben shakes his head and moves into your space, ignoring the shocked look on your face when he pushes a few strands of hair away from your eyes to take a better look at you. 

“You and I have known each other long enough, have we not? Unless it is you who wishes to leave, in which case, I will not force you to be here.” There is a hint of humor in his tone that makes you more flustered by the second and you don’t have the mind to form so much as a coherent thought to respond to him. Ben turns around and removes the longer robe covering his form, and it is only when he throws it gently on top of one of the chairs that he notices you not budging from your place. 

“You are not leaving then?” 

“It is my room…so no.” You hate how you trip over your words as you try to answer him, but from the looks of it, Ben doesn’t mind your embarrassed reaction one bit. In fact, he seems to have taken a liking to your more shy demeanor when he openly teases you. 

“Very well. Would you be so kind as to help me out of these robes then? The wound is…it’s severe and limits my movement. I’d hate to irritate it any further.” He points to his right shoulder and side all the while studying your body language to ensure your comfort. The last thing he wants is to push you too far and cause you to run away from him. Ben expects to stand in silence for a while, but when you rub your hands together and approach him, he allows himself to relax further into the intimate and warm space. 

“Sure, yes…I can do that. Just- just tell me if I make you uncomfortable. I’ll leave right away.” You reiterate once more as you lay your hands on top of his shoulders and rub the harsh fabric in between your fingers. Surely he didn’t remain in these robes all the time? His skin looked too soft to be covered with such coarse material, and before you dwell too long on how warm and inviting the skin of his clavicle felt beneath the tips of your fingers, Ben breaks the silence and rests his hands around your waist. He doesn’t try to pull you in closer, but he does squeeze you a little tightly as he returns your own words to you again. 

“Nothing you will do will ever cause me discomfort, little one.” 

“Oh.” It’s quite pathetic how easily Ben can cause your mental capabilities to decrease down to nothing, and you hope he doesn’t think less of you the longer the night stretches because you are sure you will melt into his arms if he so much as whispers a quick ‘thank you’ to you. 

“May I?” Even though he has just given you permission to help him undress, you ask him anyway, knowing that it is better to receive affirmation from him than to accidentally make him wish he never came to you tonight. 

“Please.” The way Ben pleads with you so willingly sends a ripple of lightning down your spine, and your breath hitches when you look up and see how focused he is on you. Knowing that things would only get more intense going forward, you sink your teeth into your lower lip and softly trail your hands down his chest to his stomach. You know you shouldn’t touch him more than necessary but seeing how open and almost inviting he seems to be with you now makes you tiptoe over that line of friendship a little. You say nothing as you rest your palms on top of his stomach, reminding yourself to breathe every couple of seconds when you notice Ben’s own body rising and falling beneath your touch. 

If Ben is affected by your actions, he does a very good job at hiding it, making you wish he was comfortable enough with you to show you how much your intimate and rather lewd caresses are affecting him. For a moment, you swear his chest ceases moving when you finger the buckle of the belt holding his tunic tightly to his torso, but it resumes to the slightest of movement again when you unbuckle it and wrap your hands around his back to remove it carefully without hurting him. 

As soon as you lean into his space, Ben forgets how to breathe, and he shuts his eyes tightly to refrain from closing his arms around you and smothering your lips with his own in a heated kiss. He can smell you much better now, and the flowery almost spicy scent of you is more potent than before. If he parts his lips now, he swears he can taste you on his tongue, but he chooses to keep them shut tightly to avoid any temptations. 

You don’t notice the struggle Ben lives through for those brief moments, too busy wanting to make him as calm and comfortable as possible within your space. There’s a mutual understanding between the two of you as you reach for the bottom of his brown shirt and slowly tug it across his body. Only then does Ben break your gaze, and you hope it isn’t because he’s growing self-conscious in your presence. Your thoughts are answered in an instant when he chuckles embarrassingly and breaks the deep silence that befell you. 

“I am afraid I may smell unpleasant to you. Forgive me, dear one. I cannot always afford bathwater where I live.” 

The sad, broken tone of his voice wraps around your heart and clenches it painfully, making you wish you had the right to ask him to come and bathe here whenever he likes. But you know that he might misunderstand your kindness for something else, and you opt to shaking your head and continuing to raise the shirt until he could slip his left arm from its confines. 

“It may be unpleasant to others, but your scent reminds me of…tenderness, compassion even.” You’re only speaking the truth to him but the honest sentiment must be too much for Ben because he lets out a shaky breath as soon as he wraps his mind around the words you just uttered. As much as you want to continue, you decide to keep quiet again, mostly because you are sure the sight of his skin will make you lose all coherent thought. 

As you expected, your mind unravels haphazardly when you catch sight of the firm yet soft skin of his waist and stomach. Taking advantage of the few seconds of blindness as you remove his shirt from around his neck, you meditate on the trail of hair adorning his navel and hiding beneath his pants before you remember your mission and snap your attention back to his face. Ben looks to the side as soon as he is free of the shirt, and you mentally slap yourself for whatever shameless expression he may have written on your features as you tried to rid him of  his clothes. 

Right, his wounded right side. Focus on his wounded side and shoulder. 

“Don’t try to raise your hand with me, I’ll do this slowly.” Ben doesn’t bother to offer you any response, and you get the sense that it might be because he is not used to showing so much skin to another being. As carefully as possible, you drag the tunic down his shoulder a few inches only to stop and gasp when you catch sight of the scarred flesh of his muscles. 

“Oh sweetheart, what happened to you?” You don’t realize what you say until you meet Ben’s eyes and see the heartbroken look taking over his soul. The term of endearment must be a bit too much for him because in a matter of seconds, his blue orbs are a sea of unshed tears begging to be released from their confinement. 

“It- it wasn’t…I didn’t-” The way he trips over his words lets you know that he couldn’t try to tell you how he came to own these horrid wounds even if he tried, so instead of pushing him any further, you blink away the tears forming in your own eyes and lean into his space. Without thinking much of what you’re doing, you hover over the top of his right side and lay the softest of kisses on his clavicle, barely managing to hold back from turning your head to the side and giving the same attention to his neck. You don’t give him a chance to say anything else as you continue to leave a trail of kisses down each inch of skin you reveal to the warm air. Once you’ve completely removed his shirt from his body, you take a step back and bring his right arm closer to your face. Making certain that he was focusing only on you, you lift his hand to your lips and kiss across his wrist to his forearm, hoping that the gentle touches weren’t making matters worse. When you’ve left your mark over the skin that wasn’t too sensitive or too inflamed, you lay his arm down to his side and muster up the courage to meet his eyes once more. 

The look he gives you is both heartwarming and heartbreaking, and you can tell that he was trying his hardest to not break down completely in your presence. 

Ben wants to say so much. He wants to thank you for your unusual kindness and caring touches. He wants to beg you to keep leaving your mark on him because the searing heat your lips left across his skin is better than the burning pins and needle sensations he’s felt for weeks now. He wants to repay your patience by kissing away all doubts from your mind, doubts he saw from the first time he came to you. He wants to shower you with pleasant words, whispers of his affections and dreams that he was now certain you would not be opposed to. 

But all that manages to leave his mouth are two quiet, unsure words. 

“Thank you.”

You smile at him then, and Ben thanks the maker that you don’t say anything else because he’s sure he would collapse then and there if he heard your voice purr more reassuring compliments to him. 

The moment evaporates into thin air, however, when all of a sudden, you get down on your knees in front of him and look up into his tear-stained eyes just as you grab his shoes. A hint of panic washes over his entire body and you gulp nervously when he reaches down and grabs hold of both of your shoulders to prevent you from doing anything. You’re not sure what he thought you were about to do, but when you notice the soft muscles of his chest flex tightly, you realize his mind was racing towards a more inappropriate link of thinking. 

“I’m just going to take your shoes off.” Even though your voice is barely louder than a whisper, you flinch at how harsh and gravely it comes out, not because of how unpleasant it might be but because Ben twitches when he hears it fill the silent air. When he doesn’t say anything back, you let go of his legs and keep your hands clasped in your lap. Ben’s attention shifts down to look at your hands, and you almost frown in question when you notice the tight clench of his jaws as he continues to look at your stance. 

“Is this still okay?” You follow up shortly after, praying to the maker that he doesn’t collect his belongings and walk out the door. 

“Y-yes.” He lets go of your shoulders and stands up to his height again soon after, and it takes every ounce of control in your body to not beg him to have his way with you. Ben may not appear menacing and dominant when he walks around with his hunched back and inviting body language, but as you look at him now, without the multitude of clothes often hiding him from your hungry gaze, you can’t help but find his presence commanding, more so than anyone else you’ve ever met. 

Taking in a deep breath, you nod in return and lift his ankle off the ground, biting into the inside of your cheek when you feel the warm skin erupt in goosebumps underneath your touch. 

Maker, he was more touch-starved than you thought. 

As you remove his shoes and socks, your train of thought takes a turn for the worse when it comes to your attention that you might be the first person Ben has revealed himself to in a long time. A part of you hopes that you are the first to ever lay eyes on him, but you knew that, with the Coruscant accent he tried his best to hide whenever he spoke, this was highly unlikely. Ben was one of the most handsome men you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing, and this was now. You smile to yourself when you think of all the hearts he broke in his younger days, and you quickly thank the maker for not being one of them because you very much liked him as he was in this moment. 

Reserved but engaging. 

Even though Ben isn’t in touch with the Force as he used to be, he can still see through the dazed veil that overtook you as soon as you began removing his shoes. He wants to break through that blanket of doubt and assure you that you are the first who’s seen him this vulnerable in decades, but he thinks against it, not knowing how you would react to such a sudden confession.

He composes himself as you stand again, but that composure falters when he feels your fingers rest at the top of his pants. He looks down and notices how still you’ve become, and he gulps rather loudly when he realizes what you were silently asking him. Shifting his attention back to you once more, Ben doesn’t bother hiding the rapid rise and fall of his chest as his heart rate elevates, and before you can ask him if what you’re doing is acceptable, he nods at you and braces himself for what’s to follow. 

You’re not sure if it’s better for him if you avoided his gaze or kept contact with his anxiety-filled blue orbs, but you opt for the latter, knowing that he probably wouldn’t appreciate you devouring him as you pulled down his pants. Without missing a beat, you unclasp the button keeping the fabric tightly hugged around his hips, slowly lowering the zipper to give him time to remove your hands from him. When he doesn’t push your fingers away, you continue lowering the zipper until his pants are hanging loosely around his waist. 

“Is this still okay Ben?” 

You’re not sure what sort of response you expected to receive from him, but the low groan he graces you with is certainly the last thing you expected to hear. Ben must notice the shock of the noise he just made etched on your features because he nods frantically soon after and bites into his lower lip as you let his pants fall down his legs. As much as you want to take in every bit of his skin, you keep your gaze sternly above his neck, and say nothing more as you take his hands in yours and pull him towards you. Ben doesn’t dare look elsewhere, and as he steps out of his pants, he does everything in his power to distract himself from his body’s reaction to your touches. 

He prays that you aren’t offended by the natural reflex currently plaguing his mind, and it’s only when he sees how respectful you’re trying to be that he forgets his worries and looks away to the bacta tank.

“Ben, I can see how nervous you are. Like I said, I can leave to give you more privacy. If you wish to take off your…umm, the rest of your clothes, I will move to the next room and wait for you until you’re done.” You squeeze his hands tightly to let him know that you meant every word you uttered, and you’re surprised when he clutches your palms in return. 

“Don’t leave, please. I- I want you here, but I do not think I am ready to take this off just yet.” 

“That’s okay. If you want, I have something else you can wear so you don’t get these wet? I’ll have them washed for you too so they could be ready by the time we’re done.” Again, you don’t realize the innuendo until you’ve spoken the last few words. If Ben notices, he says nothing and instead agrees to your offer. You let go of his hands and move towards one of your dressers, quickly grabbing a pair of loose shorts before returning to his side. 

“I- I’ll just turn around until you’re done.” You hand him the softer fabric and smile when he nods again and shoots you a bashful smile. Before he can take his underclothes off, you lean down and snatch his pants and socks from the floor, not bothering to look at him again as you turn around and take his shirt and robe from the chair you laid them on. You throw them over your arm and wait patiently for Ben to tell you when you can turn around. There’s quiet shuffling behind you for a few moments, and you decide to study the corner of your wall to avoid thinking of Ben looks like completely nude. 

Ben clears his throat as loudly as possible to let you know that he’s dressed again, and you hope that he can see how much you’re trying to accommodate him. When you turn around, you gasp at the site of him standing in front of the bacta tank. As hard as you try not to stare at him, you can’t help but let your eyes wander down his broad form to his thick thighs and firm legs. 

“Maker Ben, you’re beautiful.” 

It’s not what you planned on telling him, but it is what comes out, and you apologize quickly when you look up at him and see the blush creeping down his neck to his chest. 

“T-thank you darling.” 

Not knowing where to go from here, you pretend he didn’t just call you another personal term of endearment and reach to grab his undergarments from him. Ben hands it to you and waits patiently until you leave to the other room before he allows his shoulders to relax. He takes those few moments to collect his bearings, looking down at his almost nude form to see if there was anything wrong with him. It’s been so long since another saw him so exposed and vulnerable, and he hopes that you like what he has to offer even a little bit. He is not as lean and muscular as he once was, and those doubts from earlier in the day come creeping back into his mind when he sees all the imperfections littering his skin. Before he can dwell too much on them though, you’re back in the room with two flasks in your hands. 

“Umm, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to receive your usual massage so I brought these out in case you decided on one after you’re done with the bacta tank.” When Ben says nothing in return, you place the two flasks down onto the table and approach him slowly. 

“Ben, I want you to know that you’re in charge here. I won’t ever do anything you don’t want. But…I do need you to tell me if I am. I know this might be all new to you but I won’t know if I’m doing anything wrong unless you tell me.” You speak as gently as possible, wanting him to know that you’re not angry with him but that you really did need him to give you even the shortest of responses. 

“Forgive me, you’re right. I- I merely cannot trust my own voice at the moment, hence my reluctance to respond to your kindness. If you are not otherwise occupied for the evening, I would very much like to receive one after.” His voice is hoarse and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was a little turned on from this entire situation. You couldn’t blame him though. You’ve been turned on ever since you walked out and saw him waiting at the corner of the parlor. 

“No need to apologize, a simple yes or no would be enough. Although, I won’t oppose hearing your voice more often.” You try to ease the anxiety floating around him, and you giggle when he raises a curious eyebrow and shoots you an actual, deep smile. 

“Is that so? You enjoy listening to my voice, little one?” The teasing remark, along with the flirtatious petname, are almost enough to have you begging for him to fuck you against the wall, but you hold yourself back from saying what you really want to tell him. 

“Y-yes, I do. It’s very gentle and soothing. You could read a manual on how to shut down a droid and I would consider it poetry.” You respond instead and move around him to get the bacta tank ready for him. Ben hums lowly and it’s only when you turn around and look at him that you see the same struggle you were experiencing taking hold of him as well. 

“Good to know.” 

Although it’s an open-ended comment, you know better than to keep the conversation going down that road. As much as you want to continue flirting with him, you don’t want to be distracted from taking care of wounds. 

“Whenever you’re ready then,” you hold the mask up to him, but Ben shakes his head and walks around to get into the tank. 

“That won’t be necessary. I do not intend on remaining in there long enough to fall asleep.” His tone is more assertive than before so you don’t try to argue with him, knowing that this was already difficult for him to do. 

“Whatever makes you comfortable.” You say as you put the breathing mask away and stand aside to give him enough room to lower himself into the tank. He’s slow and careful in his movements, and you watch him closely to see if he needs your help with anything. He sits down into the tank and looks towards you again.

“You will not leave?”

The question surprises you, and you take a step towards him, reaching out for his left hand and taking it in between your own softly to reassure him. 

“I won’t, I promise.” Ben sighs in relief at your response and he turns away as he slowly descends his body below the warm, healing waters. You quickly grab a towel and place it at the edge of the tank in time for him to lower his neck down and rest on it. 

“You know, you might be the first person to ever use the bacta tank as a bathtub and I think it’s hilarious.” You break the silence after a while, and watch as he chuckles at your words. 

“I am glad I can be amusing to you sweetheart.” You shut your eyes and meditate on his voice for a few moments, thankful that he was already finding this relaxing. You stand next to him in silence for a few minutes, and when his breathing looks constant, you think that he may have fallen asleep out of fatigue. As soon as you try to move away to bring another towel for after he finishes, his hand leaves the waters of the bacta tank and take hold of your wrist. 

“You said you would not leave.” His eyes are much more intense than before, and you blink at him in confusion before you reach for his wrist and massage his skin. 

“I’m not. I was just going to bring you a towel.” You don’t dare look away from him, knowing that he might misunderstand your behavior and think that he made you uncomfortable. Instead of letting go of your hand, he shuts his eyes and rests his head back against the edge of the tank before he lowers his arm into the water again. You don’t bother asking him why he was so afraid of remaining in the bacta tank by himself, and instead shift closer to him so your own hand can hold onto him better. Pushing your arm deeper into the water, you grab hold of his forearm and rest your head against the side of the glass, all the while studying his calm and relaxed features as the medicinal components of the liquid began to work through his wounds. 

Time passes easily as Ben relaxes further in the water, and you trace small shapes across his forearm to help ease his anxiety. You notice the occasional eyebrow twitch whenever the water gets warmer and bubbles around his arm. You study him closely and try your best to think less of what his skin would feel like sliding against your own as he coaxes pleasure from your body, but then his upper thigh touches the back of your hand suddenly and your attention shifts from his features to the expanse of his legs. 

You lick your lips when you see old scars littering his light, golden muscles and the thought that he could manhandle you any minute if he wished to causes you to clench your thighs tightly. Looking up at his face one last time, you make sure his eyes are still closed and serene before you allow yourself to memorize his broad form. Your breathing becomes erratic as you trail your gaze down his torso, fingers itching to reach over and rub across the blonde, reddish hair adorning his chest and stomach. There’s nothing you want more than to ask him what he used to do before he came to Tatooine, but you know that it would only make him feel worse for not opening up to you any further. 

Stars, he must have been someone important if there are this many scars across his body. 

As you descend your focus down his body, you fixate on his hips and the dip of skin below the edge of the shorts. It was such a shame he hid his body from the world. You knew many who would pay good money just to look at a specimen like Ben. He was hard and soft in all the right places, and from the looks of the slowly forming bulge straining against the fabric, you got the sense that he could have anyone he wanted. He would only say a word and they would come. 

Literally. 

“Do you always stare at your wounded clients as if they are exotic delicacies?” Ben’s deep voice makes you jump from your place, and you try to remove your hand from him but he holds onto your arm tightly and keeps you close to the bacta tank. 

“I- I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have-” You try to think of a believable reason behind you openly and shamelessly gawking at his nudity but words fail you when you meet his eyes and notice just how dilated and almost hungry his pupils are. 

“I was not complaining, my darling.” It’s soothing to hear that he doesn’t mind the way you’re staring at him, but you turn away with a smile on your face when he tilts his head to the side and mirrors your own actions. You can tell he’s also raking his eyes over your body from your periphery, and you hope he likes whatever he sees. 

“If you must know…no, I don’t.” You pretend to pick at something on your dress when you finally manage to utter a grammatically correct sentence. The little hum Ben throws at you is somehow in response to your words as well as his own actions, and you wish he didn’t have such an intense effect on you. 

“Hmm.”

“Only those I find interesting.” You look back at him, and feel your heart skip a beat when you see the way he’s staring at the skin peeking from underneath the thin fabric of the dress. 

“You find me interesting?” His hand slithers further up your arm until he’s grasping your shoulder, and your breathing grows erratic when the dampness of his palm drips down your exposed shoulders and wets the top of the dress. His eyes are becoming more difficult to hold contact with but you remain steadfast, wanting him to know of the effect he’s having on you, wanting him to see how easily can have you, how quickly you’d submit to him if he so much as touches your cheek again. 

“Y-yes, amongst other things.” Against your better judgment, you reach for his hair with your hand and comb it away from his face, wanting to take a better look at him in case he decided to take this a step further. What you don’t expect is for Ben to take hold of the edge of the tank and push himself up until he’s only a few inches away from you. You can feel the heat of the water radiating off of his body, and you wish he could just drag you to your bed and fuck you until you couldn’t remember anything but the sound of his name falling from your lips. 

“Enlighten me then.” Ben breathes against the corner of your mouth, and you part your lips in hopes of tasting his smile on your tongue. His scent overwhelms you in the best way possible, and you hate how it will soon become the same as the oils you’ve set aside for him. 

A strange thought breaks through the spell you’ve fallen under, and you realize too late that your expression is reflecting the worry taking hold of your heart when Ben’s smile falters for a moment, and sits back in the water as he makes note of the reluctant look aimed at him. 

“I…don’t want to lose you.” It’s perhaps the most vague sentiment you can ever tell anyone during such a moment, mostly because it wasn’t prefaced by a related question. You don’t know what else to say though and you know nothing else will come close to explaining the fear of never seeing Ben again. Thinking that he might get weirded out by the rather general statement, you turn away from him to prepare for whatever cold, uncommitted response you’ll receive from him. 

But like before, Ben surprises you and takes hold of your chin in between his fingers. As much as you don’t want to look at him, you obey his soft yet assertive motion and slowly face him. His expression switches to a more welcoming and teasing smile when he finally looks into your eyes and you can’t control your own muscles as you focus on his inviting body language. Against your better judgment, you reach for him and place one hand on his chest while the other grabs his upper arm, wanting to keep yourself grounded so you don’t run away from him as soon as he speaks. 

“You will not lose me, little one. I only ask that you speak in truths.” Ben grows bold with his touches, waiting until you slip your hand a little lower across his stomach before he traces your lower lip with his thumb. His gaze shifts to your parted lips and he licks his own when he notices your tongue peak out and almost wrap around his fingers. 

“I- I could never lie to you Ben. Never.” You shut your eyes and whisper to him as he continues to draw patterns over your heated flesh. When you feel his hand descend lower and rest on top of your neck, you squeeze his arm and urge him to do as he wishes freely and without worry. He doesn’t flex one finger and you come close to pulling him into your space, but before you can do that, you feel the hold he has on your neck tighten a bit, forcing you to open your eyes and look straight into his. 

“Promise?” Ben asks as he moves out of the water closer to you, not caring a single bit for how wet you’re becoming the more he touches you. His palm is now firmly encompassing your neck like a necklace, and you trail your hand from his biceps down his arm slowly until you have a firm grip on his wrist. A sigh of relief escapes both of your mouths in unison as you come to the same conclusion seconds apart. 

Ben came to your parlor tonight with no hope of ever becoming brave enough to tell you how deeply he cares for you, and as soon as you saw him, you prayed to the maker that it wouldn’t be the last time he’d visit you. 

As you now stare deeply into each others’ eyes, you come to understand that your desires have always mirrored each other, and that you are more than willing to give into the weeks and months of desperate need, even if you were uncertain of what would happen after tonight.  

“Please.” 

You plead against his cheek and hold your breath when you feel his other arm slowly wrap around your waist. He’s about to pull you towards him when the bacta tank shuts down and causes the waters to remain still. Ben clenches his jaw tightly as a new silence fills the room, and he reluctantly pulls away from you when he opens his eyes and sees a similar expression of irritation etched on your features. He can’t help but chuckle though as you roll your eyes at the timing of the sound. 

“Hmm, I do believe you owe me a massage.” He lets go of you and maneuvers himself around until he’s kneeling in the large glass tub. Ben says nothing as he slowly stands in the bacta tank and stares down at you, and it’s only when he tilts his head to the side and raises an eyebrow that you realize he’s waiting for you to bring him a towel so he doesn’t make a mess of your floors. 

“S-sorry, yes. I uhh- I did say that.” You shake your head and run towards one of your dressers, instantly reaching for the softer towels you reserved for yourself without a thought. You bring it back to him and try your best to avoid looking at the way the fabric of the long shorts hug his skin. You ignore the prominent bulge begging for your attention as you hand him the towel, not waiting for him to dry himself before you walk to the massage table near the window and prepare it for him. 

Ben doesn’t pull his attention away from you for a second, and a new amusement takes over him when he sees how hard you’re trying to remain respectful when a moment ago, you were practically presenting yourself to him on a golden platter. He takes advantage of your sudden shyness and slips out of the shorts you handed him earlier. Hanging them on the edge of the bacta tank, Ben wraps the towel around his waist and fastens it at the corner before he slowly walks towards you. 

He wants nothing more than to push himself flush against your back, but he reminds himself that this back and forth teasing would be well worth it once you finally told him what you truly wanted. 

“It’s up to you whether you want to keep the shorts on or-” The words die in your throat when you turn around and see Ben standing a few feet away from you wrapped in a towel. Your eyes shift to the bacta tank behind, and when you realize that he’s wearing nothing underneath the soft fabric slowly clinging tighter to his body, you gulp nervously and move aside so he could climb onto the bed. 

“The last thing I intend is to make a mess of your room. If you mind of course, I will gladly put them on again.” Ben teases as he approaches you, only to chuckle at you when you cut him off with a rather quick and enthusiastic response. 

“NO! I mean…uhh, no that’s- that’s okay. Whatever makes you comfortable.” You mentally kick yourself when you hear him hum at you, rolling your eyes at the grin that appears on his handsome features as he begins climbing onto the massage bed.

“Like I said earlier, please tell me if I do something you don’t like.” You say as Ben maneuvers himself around until he’s laying on his stomach, wanting him to remember that he was still completely in charge. When he settles down and fixes the towel around his hips, you take a deep breath and will yourself to think of anything but how inviting his skin looks. 

“Judging by the number of times you’ve spoken similar words to me, I suspect it is I who is making you uncomfortable.” Ben glances to the side and smirks at you when he sees you nervously clutching the different flasks of oil near your chest. 

“Uncomfortable wouldn’t be the word I’d use.” You whisper to him as you set one flask down and tilt the other in your hand until enough is poured in your palm. You move around to begin at his upper back when Ben sits up and silently stares at you. You know what he’s asking and you hate how it only takes one simple look for you to be at his mercy. 

“Nervous perhaps…or umm, overwhelmed. Whichever you find more pleasing.” You blink away and take another step towards him, hoping he’d get the idea and drop the subject before you knelt down and pleaded for him to claim you. 

“It is not my intention to inspire such feelings within you, little one.” Ben says firmly, and you realize he probably assumed the negative connotations behind those words, not the ones you actually felt. He doesn’t bother to lay back down again and you dread having to clarify what you meant when you said he made you nervous. 

“It’s you so I- I don’t mind it.” You smile shyly at him, and look down at your hands when you see the second he catches on to what you’re saying. Ben hums lowly as he settles down again and you sigh in relief at managing to convince him to move on without you embarrassing yourself any further. Before the warm oil trickles down your wrist any further, you softly begin to rub it across his upper back and bite into your lower lip when you feel Ben relax at your touch as soon as you dig your thumbs into the muscles across his shoulders. He tenses for a few seconds when you trail your palms all the way up to his neck, and you almost stop when you see the way he’s reacting to you. But when he groans deeply and stretches his neck down so you can have more access to his skin, you continue to stroke his shoulders until he visibly melts into the bed. 

You want to ask him if he wants you to do anything different, but as you pour more oil on his back and rub it until his skin is glistening like the golden suns, you forget how to form a coherent sentence. The longer you knead those knots, the louder Ben’s moans grow, so much so that you vaguely hear him apologizing for the inappropriate sounds he was conveying to you. 

It’s only when you focus on his biceps and triceps that he finally breaks the silence and snaps you out of your haze again. 

“Tell me.” Ben demands all of a sudden and you halt in your movement when you sweep your eyes over to his face and see them wide open and staring right at you. 

“W-what?”

“I think you know,” he grins at you, raising a curious eyebrow when you blink at him knowingly before you return to massaging his left arm, purposely avoiding the right one in case he still felt pain coursing through it. 

“This is hardly the time to-” For the first time since you’ve met him, Ben cuts you off mid-sentence and raises his head far enough to take a proper look at you. You ignore the way he’s looking at you and focus on his forearm, praying to the maker that he doesn’t notice your skin crawling with goosebumps every time you feel the hair on his arms tickle your fingers. 

“Do not attempt to distract me, darling. On the contrary, I believe this is the perfect time to tell me what you think of me.” He rests his cheek against the pillow once more, but you knew he wouldn’t drop this anytime soon. You move around to stand at the head of the bed, and as you reach for the other flask of oil, you feel Ben’s hands reach down and grip your upper thighs to pull you closer. 

“B-Ben…”

“I only wished to bring you closer, nothing more.” He whispers to you as he returns his hands to his sides again, making you wish he wasn’t so respectful of whatever boundaries remained between the two of you. Shaking those filthy thoughts from your head, you don’t care how intimate you’re nearing him as you lean down and push your hands down the center of his back until you’ve reached the edge of the towel. Ben moans shamelessly when you slip your fingers beneath the towel and push your thumbs harshly into the round muscles of his butt. You continue to apply pressure up and down his back, occasionally loosening the towel to get better access to his backside. You almost giggle when you see Ben raising his hips off of the bed to allow you to pull on the towel, but you hold yourself back, afraid he might think you’re laughing at him. 

Without giving him a warning, you take the oil and move to the opposite end of the bed, choosing to ignore the way he spreads his legs wider to get more comfortable. Mirroring your actions from before, you pour the oil on one leg and dig your knuckles into his calves until you hear him sigh in relief again. Ben says nothing else for a while and you suspect it is due to how close you’re beginning to get to the more sensitive areas. Even though you slip your hands underneath the towel again, you make sure to only reach the lower skin of his upper thighs and no further, not wanting him to think you want to force him through distraction. As you turn to the other leg, you can’t help but admire the numerous dips and scars across his entire body. Again, there was nothing necessarily attractive about a body mapped with different types of scars, especially when you could tell that some of them weren’t left behind by a simple blaster but by something that ran much hotter. 

A strange thought enters your mind all of a sudden at a particularly nasty gash you saw on his side earlier, but you brush it aside when you realize how pathetic it must be. There’s no way this man ever came in contact with something like a lightsaber. He mostly kept to himself. Besides, if he did ever meet the end of such a weapon, there was no chance he could live and tell the tale. 

“You’re drifting again.”

“Sorry, I was just…I was admiring your body.” You decide to stick as close to the truth as possible without making a fool out of yourself. 

“There is nothing to admire about an old man’s beaten body.” You know he meant to pass his comment off as a joke, but the self-deprecating, almost sad tone of his voice makes you think he probably thought you were bluffing to avoid answering any of his questions. 

“Turn around for me.” You tap his leg twice and pretend to distract yourself with something on your dress so you don’t accidentally get an eyeful of what’s below the towel should it slip by accident from him. It takes him a little longer than usual to settle down again, and when you turn around to look at him, you realize it’s because of the not-so-subtle reaction his body was having in response to your touch. 

“I told you I’d never lie to you Ben, and I meant it.” Ben’s eyes flutter open at your words, and he watches you closely as you pour oil on his chest and slowly rub it across his scarred skin. His gaze is more intense than ever, and you don’t dare break contact with his eyes out of fear of making him think you are lying to him. 

“I’ve seen many through the years, almost every type of shape and color and size…but none compare to yours. You’re…unique, in the most beautiful way possible.” You swear his chest rumbles with a growl at your confession, and you bite into your cheek when you see it rise and fall at a quicker pace. Looking down at his hands, you barely manage to hold back from digging your nails into his chest when you see the way he’s clenching his fists tightly at your comment.

“I- I am most flattered by your a-admiration but-” Ben grunts when you accidentally graze one of his nipples, his mind instantly going into hyperdrive and making him lose his train of thoughts. “But I highly doubt this is the most impressive form you’ve ever come across.” His voice is strained, that you’re certain of, and you want to see how far you can take it with him before he can no longer hold back. You’re close to thinking against it, but as you continue to knead his tight muscles, you notice a dark blush creeping down his neck to his chest and decide to tease him just a little bit more.

“Are you seriously going to mansplain to me who I find attractive?” You ask in what you hope is your most stern tone, and it must be more assertive than you think because Ben turns away from your hands and focuses on you again with a slight hint of panic coloring his cheeks. 

“No, I- I would never presume to tell you h-” Ben falters when he notices a dangerous glint in your eyes, and he drops his head against the pillow once he understands you were only trying to get on his nerves. 

“You minx,” he whispers beneath his breath and shuts his eyes again, allowing you a moment of respite to pay more attention to his tired muscles. A different silence falls over the room soon after, and you finally manage to take your mind away from the many things you wish to do to Ben. There’s an occasional sigh that falls from his lips every time you dig your knuckles into a particularly knotted muscle. 

Making your way around the bed, you clear your throat softly as you work your way down his stomach, and Ben becomes more vocal as he feels your hands descend beneath the edge of the towel again. Unlike earlier, when you kept your touches right at the top of the soft fabric, you become more bold with him and bring your fingers right where his waist dips and creates that faint v-line. He hisses as soon as your nails pass across the coarse hair peppering his navel at the top of his crotch, and his eyes flutter open instantly, only to see you already staring at him with a fire he’s never seen on another’s features before. 

“Sweet one,” Ben bites into his lower lip as you shiver at the endearment, and he reaches for your wrist slowly to hold onto it, afraid that he won’t be able to say what he really wants if you continued to map his skin as if you already claimed it. 

“Ben,” you sigh his name as you slip from his grip and move on to his legs. He watches you closely and furrows his eyebrows when you pour more oil on your palms and begin to rub his legs. He sits up on his elbows and gulps nervously as you move beneath the towel and move the warm viscous liquid up his thighs. Almost on instinct, Ben spreads his thighs to give you more access, and he somehow finds the will to continue breathing even as you stare straight into his eyes the higher you go up his thighs. 

“Believe me when I tell you, I’ve never met anyone I wanted to worship this much. You’re more beautiful than any star, and I want nothing more than to ease your pain, perhaps even your loneliness.” You coo at him, and watch as he struggles to find a proper response to your revelation. When he takes too long to say anything, you bring your body as close to his own as possible and drive your nails deeper into the skin of his thick thighs. Ben groans deeply and you can’t help but smile at him when you see the prominent tent forming underneath the towel flex slightly before it rests again. 

“You- you find me attractive?” The disbelief in his voice almost causes you to double over in laughter because not an hour ago, he had his hand wrapped around your throat like he had every right to touch you so intimately and here he was still questioning, not only your behavior, but your words as well. 

“Oh come on baby, I said that ages ago. Catch up and I promise to make you feel good.” Your fingers trail a little higher again, making Ben jolt all of a sudden and fist his hands against the bedsheets. 

“Dear one…do not think you need to do this for my sake. I hold the utmost respect towards you and I cannot bear the thought of ever forcing you to-” The rest of the sentiment dies in his throat as soon as you lean over him and rest your cheek against his hip. Ben ceases to breathe when you flutter your eyelashes at him as you turn to the knot on the side of the towel and bite into it. You don’t move another muscle though, wanting to give him the chance to push you away or apologize for not wanting to do this. When he inches his hand slowly to your neck and nods at you, you give his waist a quick kiss before you take the fabric of the towel between your teeth and pull on it. 

Ben grips your neck tightly as you raise your head and bring the towel away from his skin. He tries to sit up on his elbows again but he realizes too soon he doesn’t have the strength to do anything apart from stare at you as you worshiped him. 

You, on the other hand, don’t look down at the newly exposed skin, wanting Ben to see that you are willing to take things slow for his sake. Your palms remain planted on his inner and outer thigh, and when the knot comes undone, you push the fabric across his hips until it falls on either side of him. 

“Darling I-” He starts to say something but you cut him off instantly, wanting to tell him everything you’ve felt for him ever since he bid you a shy ‘hello’ that fateful time. 

“Tell me what you want Ben, please. I’ll do anything to please you, anything. You- you’ve been on my mind for so long, and I just want to make you feel good. Do what you want with me…use me, my hands, my mouth…my-”

The only warning you have before Ben drags you on top of him is a deep growl conveying nothing but absolute desperation and anguish. You’re shocked by the sudden display of power Ben exhibits all of a sudden, not because you didn’t think he was capable of pulling you into his lap with ease, but because you didn’t think he’d ever grow so bold with you. Up until now, he’s been nothing but a gentleman, always asking you in his own way if you were still comfortable with whatever was going on between the two of you. But to see him lose his self-control to the point where he had to bring you on top of him without a care for his own fatigued muscles sets your chest on fire.

“S-stars…Ben-” You moan his name when he twists his fingers into your hair and tugs on it until your throat is on full display for him. No sooner than that do you feel his mouth kissing and nipping at the juncture of your neck, and don’t dare push him away for even a second. It’s Ben’s turn to grunt against you as you dig your fingers into his chest, and without putting much thought into it, he wraps his other arm around your back and forces your chest flush against his own. He can feel your pert nipples rub deliciously against his chest, and he reminds himself that he still has to ask for permission before he rips your flimsy dress to bits. 

“Have you any idea of the effect you have on me?” 

You sigh heavily as you gyrate your hips against his hard cock, giggling to yourself when the action distracts him from leaving his mark on every bit of your skin. 

“I- I think I have a small idea actually…well, it’s not that small actually. More like a- oh fuck, oh my stars…it’s a hard, thick, delicious idea.” Your jumbled words earn you a chuckle from the man beneath you, and you open your eyes to look down at him when he lays back down against the pillow and brings you along with him. 

“It is you who deserves to be worshiped, sweet one. Believe me, I want nothing more than to take my time with you, relish in the way I coax pleasure from every bit of this lovely body of yours, mark you with kisses that rival the stars in this galaxy…but I can bear it no longer.” His unabashed confessions send a strike of lightning down your spine, making you arch your back against him to feel his lips on your heated skin again. You sink your fingers into his hair the harder he pulls you against him, and only when his palm grabs at your ass and pushes it against his cock do you dare to pull on his sun-kissed strands. Ben thrusts his hips into your stomach, the sensation of his hard and heavy length reminding you of how full you will feel in a matter of minutes. 

Pleading words slowly form on your lips in response to his rather needy requests, but you can’t find the will to part with them due to the sheer hold Ben has on you, physically and emotionally. His arms tighten around you when he notices you trying to remove yourself from him. You look down to try and put his mind at ease, tell him that you’d never think of letting him go now that he was touching you so sweetly. But as soon as you set your eyes on his own dilated ones, you forget how to breathe and pray that he puts you out of your misery. Thankfully, Ben doesn’t take too long to notice the hungry way in which you continue to eye his lips, and before either of you say anything else, he’s pulling you down by the neck and meeting you halfway with what you would later describe as the most breathtaking kiss you’d ever been gifted in your entire life. 

You always thought Ben would kiss you softly, perhaps slip his tongue reluctantly into your mouth if you parted your lips for him. And perhaps he does savor such soft touches, you pray you can find out later if he prefers them. This moment, however, reminds you that this man was very much capable of bringing you to your knees with a simple look if he so wished. The thought of being at his mercy forces you closer to him, and you tilt your head to the side as he deepens the kiss, his tongue working magic against you and allowing you to look forward to where else it can leave its mark. 

Judging from the hungry and aggressive control Ben displays, you don’t bother trying to take control of the moment. The hum of approval he graces you with when he feels you completely melt against him coaxes a moan from your throat, and you manage to break the kiss for one second to breathe before Ben shoves his mouth against yours again. You almost sob at how much he wants you, and you almost do as well. But when you feel his fingers slowly tug on the ends of your long clothes, you forget everything else and raise yourself above him a few inches to give him more access to your clothes. It’s his turn to break the kiss, and you nuzzle into his neck and whimper when he bunches your dress all the way across your hips. 

“Love, will you let me have you? I promise to pleasure you later with nothing but my lips, kiss every inch of your skin until you beg me to stop. But right now, I- Force help me, I will surely die if I do not feel the heat of your cunt around my cock.” Ben pleads against your ear, kissing and nipping across the heated skin of your cheek as he keeps the dress around your waist with one hand while the other squeezes your ass. The soft material of your panties makes him slam his head against the pillow twice to control himself until you give him a proper answer. 

“Maker…please just-” You cry his name once he slips his fingers beneath the flimsy article of clothing and pulls on it until it’s perfectly nestled across your aching clit. It strains against his ministrations, and you wish he can just rid you of it so you can feel his cock slide against your cunt. Not knowing what else to do, you turn to him a little and leave a trail of wet kisses from his beard down to the clenched muscles of his neck and shoulders. When you slowly begin to suck your mark on his jugular, Ben thrusts his cock hard against you again, almost causing you to slip from his lap at the sudden and aggressive reaction. He can feel your dress still keeping you from him and in an effort to maneuver you better so he can slip it off, his fingers slip below the front of your panties and pass deliciously against your wet cunt. Both of you cease all movement instantly, but the warmth of his hand feels too good against your pulsating clit so you throw all caution aside and push yourself harder against him. His fingers pass perfectly across your slit and forces an obscene moan deep from your throat. 

“Let me have you. Let me make love to you sweetheart. Let me mark you as mine…claim you so the stars know whom you belong to.” Ben pleads one last time as he expertly rubs your clit and grips your hair tightly to have some semblance of control until you consent to his needs.

“Please Ben, I- I want you so fucking badly. Do whatever you want with me. I don’t care what you do, just don’t stop touching me. Make me yours…oh fuck, take me now, and don’t be gentle.” You were never one to beg for anything from a man, but as Ben tilts his head to the side and whispers the faintest promises to you, you throw all self-consciousness and respect aside for the sake of meeting the end of those confessions. 

“Anything for you, love.” Ben promises against your lips, not wasting another precious second as he lets go of your ass and brings his hand to his mouth. You watch as he spits on his fingers and shoves those same digits into your mouth to collect your own essence before he reaches for his cock. You try to throw your head back to savor the moment but Ben keeps a firm grip on your hair, silently letting you know that he wanted to watch as he filled you with his dick for the first time. You furrow your eyebrows at the vague sensation of Ben’s hands rubbing his cock to with your combined spit, and when you can’t take it any longer, you cry his name again to urge him on. 

“Fuck me…please Ben.”

The request washes over Ben like a prayer, and he leans up to capture your lips in another heated kiss just as he shoves your panties to the side and teases your clit with the head of his cock. You can feel how warm and hard he is against your slit, and you shove your hips forward to try and catch his length in between your wet lips. Ben is quicker though, and he holds you back with a simple pull to your strands, a small warning to ensure that you understand who was in control. 

“Little one, I want to hear you beg for my cock. Beg me to fill your cunt.” The filthy command sends a shiver down your spine, and you begin to shake in his arms the more he teases your clit with his length. 

“Ben, I can’t- maker, it hurts. It hurts not having you inside me. I can’t take it anymore, I want you to fill me with your cock. Fuck me the way you’ve always wanted, I- I promise to be good for you. Please…please give me y- ahhh…”

He almost panics at the first few words you sob as you stare deep into his eyes, and it’s only when you continue that Ben finally understands just how much you want him. He was planning on teasing you until the whole planet knew who was making you feel so needy, but the way you moan to him your craving for his cock sends him over the edge. Without warning, Ben pulls you until your chest is flush against his own, and before you can say anything else, he slowly inches his cock into your pussy, halting every few seconds to give you a chance to get used to the intrusion. 

“Fuck me Ben, I n-need you to…fu-uck me.” Your voice barely comes out as a whisper, and it takes every ounce of focus and control in Ben’s system to not thrust into your heat quickly and fill you over and over again. 

“I don’t wish to hurt you.” He lets go of your hair and wraps both of his arms around your back in an attempt to comfort you. But you can’t find it in yourself to care for whether he will leave you bruised and hurt. All you seem to want is to feel him everywhere, and you do so by wrapping your arms around his neck and shoving your face into the crook of his neck again. 

“I want it to hurt…I want to feel you for days. I- I need it Ben.” You hope that he understands how truthful you are, but Ben remains still for a few seconds more, making you shake with desperate need for more. More of his kisses, his gaze, his touch, his thick cock carving your cunt to fit you perfectly. 

“Please.” You plead one last time, and it must be all he needs to hear because in an instant, Ben is spreading his legs wider until his feet are planted firmly against the bed. 

“I feel you will be the death of me, my darling.” You part your lips to respond to him but the world seems to fade away all of a sudden as Ben snaps his hips up against you and fills you completely. The force of his action sends you over the edge easily, coaxing the quickest of pleasures from your body in such a way that makes it difficult to hold onto that last sliver of control you had left over your mind and soul. You sigh heavily against his skin, not sure of relief or pain, but the moment is cut short when Ben is forcibly shoved out of your cunt with a strange sensation. Neither of you know what just happened, but you soon realize the response of your body to Ben’s desperate ministrations when he takes hold of his cock again to push into your cunt and feels just how wet his navel and your thighs now were. 

“Did- did you just…” The shock on Ben’s features embarrasses you to no end, and you try to find an excuse to convey to him so he doesn’t think you’re as pathetic as a loth cat in heat, but all words fail you when you meet his eyes and see how far dilated they are. He must see worry etched on your features because he doesn’t give you a chance to think more of what just transpired and pushes his cock past your wet slit again. Whatever you’re about to say evaporates into thin air as you clench your core to get used to his size again, and before you know it, he’s fully sheathed in your tight walls, hard and hot as you always thought he would be.

“Maker…your cunt knows to whom it belongs already, doesn’t it sweetheart? It knows me…and I barely touched you.” Ben asks without looking away from you, arms slowly roaming the expanse of your body until you completely melt against him. He slips a hand around your upper back until he’s tugging the hair on the nape of your neck, his other arm circling your waist perfectly and holding you flush against him. When he ensures the tight grasp he has around you, he repositions himself again until his feet are flat against the sheets. Before you can respond to his question, which you noticed was laced with nothing but pride at having mastered your body in the span of only a few minutes, he snaps his hips against you once to give you a taste of what’s to come. 

“Yes, I- I’m yours Ben. All yours…e-ever since I met you, I-” You’re searching for the proper words to whisper to him, but you come to the realization that he never intended for you to actually respond to him. With every syllable you manage to breathe against his neck, Ben thrusts his cock deep into your cunt, filling you deliciously time and again until you memorize the feeling of him as he brought you pleasure. 

“Hmm?” A cocky smirk breaks out on his handsome features, and you wish with all your heart you can smack it away. Instead, you relish in the fact that Ben—sweet, quiet, and shy Ben—didn’t mind showing you this side of him. You never thought you’d ever come to the point in your relationship where you could hear such filthy declarations from him, let alone see him teasing you so openly. You snap out of the momentary spell he’s put you under when he slows down and brings you impossibly close to him until you can feel nothing but his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you that makes you see stars. Your thighs begin to shake when he doesn’t move, and as you attempt to sit up so you can take over, Ben shakes his head and tightens his hold around you.  

“Please just-” You plead with him, praying to the maker that he can put you out of your misery and fuck you into the next moon already. He drags his fingers down your back and pushes your ass down against him, forcing you to roll your hips around his cock until your legs continue to violently shake. You can feel every ridge and protruding vein swipe deliciously across your walls, and you fight to take a deep breath so you don’t lose your mind over the feeling of him marking every inch of your heat with the wet, hard skin of his tip.  

“I won’t ask again, sweet one. Tell me.” His voice is hoarse, unlike all the other times throughout the night when he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. You can’t help the shiver that runs across your skin at the sound of his tone, mostly because you never thought that your Ben would be this vocal and dirty during such an intimate moment. You thought he would be too shy to tell you what he desires, but the harder he pushes you down on him while thrusting his hips up into you, the more you understand that this was always the Ben you spoke with, he just needed a little bit of patience and love to return to whom he once was.

“Ever since I met you, I knew that…oh fuck, I knew that I could never be with anyone else. You- stars, please move Ben. I’m so full of you but- fuck…need to feel you everywhere. ‘Ve dreamt of giving you everything…and now I- I just…I can’t take it anymore.” When he doesn’t give any inclination of letting you go, you give into his embrace and wrap your arms around his shoulders, slowly leaving a trail of wet kisses across his neck and clavicle to urge him on. He squeezes your ass as he rolls your hips around, tilting his head to the opposite side to give you more access to the expanse of his skin. You sink your teeth into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, making him shove his cock harshly into your cunt unintentionally and sending you closer into his arms. 

It’s in this moment that Ben wants nothing more than to reach out to your Force signature and feel you envelop him fully. But he’s reluctant to do so, not only because it’s been a decade since he’s done something so intimate, but also because he didn’t think he could share this part of himself with you just yet. You’ve been nothing but understanding ever since you welcomed him into your room, before then even, but he doesn’t want to test his luck. Something about the way you wrap yourself around him though sets his mind at ease. He may not be able to tell you now, but he got the sense that he would eventually reach a level of comfort with you where he wouldn’t worry about your reaction to such a secret. 

For now, the knowledge that he only needed to kiss you to feel you melt into his arms would have to be enough. He’s been alone for so long, spent decades without feeling the touch of another. The last thing he wished to do was to complain about the limited way he can be with you. This was more than enough. 

Ben throws his head back in ecstasy when you kiss the corner of his mouth and tug on his hair, silently asking him if everything was okay. One look at the pleasure engraved on your features and his mind is at ease once more. He can still feel you shaking with want above him, and it drives him mad with lust. To think that someone like you, someone who’s met others more fascinating than him, easily submitted to him pushes him over the edge and roams his hands across your back in an effort to feel you surrender to him.

“Oh sweet one, you truly have gone cockdumb for me. So good for me, so fucking exquisite.” He growls his need against your cheek, watching with fascination as you rubbed your skin against his beard the harder he shoved his cock into your wet cunt. He wants to go slow, relish in the tightness and welcoming heat of your pussy as it swallows him enthusiastically. But your desperation makes him forget his mission. Ben chuckles as you whine and whimper the rougher the hair of his beard mark your skin and neck, and he’s about to pull away to give you some respite when you reach out further to him and continue stroking him like your life depends on it. 

“Yes, oh maker yes, I- I’ll be good. I promise…I’ll do anything you ask Ben.” Ben swears beneath his breath at the shameless tone of your voice as you let him do whatever he pleases with your body. Taking advantage of your momentary distraction, Ben unravels his arms from around your back and takes hold of the thin straps of your dress. You only have a second to realize you can’t feel his protective embrace around your tired form, and before you ask him why he let go of you, a loud ripping sound fills the room. Looking down, you notice that he’s pulled the top of your dress to shreds and shoved it down your chest until you were revealed to his hungry eyes.

In your line of work, you’ve grown used to the way your clients tended to eye your body as you walked by. You even thought you’d never get to feel the rush of pleasure coursing through your veins at the thought of being the object of desire for someone. But as you study Ben’s reaction to finally seeing your nude form, you suddenly feel too exposed to your liking and slowly let go of his shoulders to cover yourself. Ben is quicker though, and he drags your wrists away from your body before pushing them behind your back and holding them tightly in one of his palms. 

“You beautiful star…and here I thought I- kriffing hells, I would need to kneel before you to get the faintest glimpse of…maker help me, of your desires.” Ben groans deeply as he leans forward and takes your nipple in his mouth. You can easily break free from the hold he has on your wrists, but choose against it, wanting to relish in how dominant and wanton this man has become for you. His tongue works magic on your pert nipples, and you work your hips harder onto his cock when his teeth tug softly on your hardened peak. It’s his turn to whimper beneath you, and you smile to yourself as he lets go and pays equal attention to your other breast. You look down again and watch as Ben hungrily marks your chest with his teeth, and you push yourself into his mouth to make sure he claims as much of you as possible. 

“But I should have expected this, should have known you would bend to my will in an instant.” Ben whispers as he lays back down against the bed and brings you along with him. He must see the effect his voice and his words are having on you because soon after, he starts fucking up into you with abnadon, returning his other hand to your back and using your arms to control your movements more easily. He wants to come so kriffing badly but he holds back to feel you let go for him again. You can’t hold yourself up anymore and completely lose yourself to the plethora of sensations that were possible only through Ben. Nuzzling into his neck, you cry his name over and over again as you reach that familiar high once more, praying to the stars that he continues fucking you through your orgasm so you can think of nothing else but him. 

“That’s it love, come for me again. Come on my cock, mark me with your sweet essence.” Ben kisses your forehead as he urges you to come for him, and even though he’s coaxed pleasure from you so easily before, he’s still surprised to feel your walls clench tightly around him soon after as your release washes over him. He fucks you through it, relishing in how violently your whole body shakes against him the more he prolongs your orgasm. When you beg and whine his name so he could at least slow down, Ben fights with himself against turning you around and fucking into you wihtout a care for anything else. He slows down to a stop but doesn’t pull out just yet, wanting to commit this moment to memory so he can return to it later as he touches himself to the thought of you giving every bit of yourself to him so freely. 

His cock twitches the more your muscles spasm around him, and he hisses when you try to move off of him and sink deeper on his dick. 

“B-Ben?” Your voice comes out barely louder than a whisper, and Ben worries for a moment that he may have gone a bit too far with you. 

“Ahh, little one- you’re so exquisitely tight around me.” It’s not what he wants to say, but it is what escapes his lips when you fall back against his chest and your pert nipples rub against the damp hair peppering his chest. 

“Keep going, don’t- don’t stop. Please.” You look into his eyes as you ask him to keep going, and Ben almost gives into your request when he locks his gaze with you and sees how genuine your pleading words are.

“But you m-must be sensitive. I don’t wish to-” The last thing he wishes to do is to stop, but he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to do anything else. When you lean down and take his lips in a heated kiss, Ben’s worries flutter away along and become replaced with a need unlike anything he’s ever felt before. You sneak your tongue into his mouth and fight to mark him as he’s done with you. Unlike before, when Ben would have pulled your hair to remind you who’s in charge, he allows you to do what you wish, knowing that he would control your body again in a few moments. 

“I don’t care, ahhh I don’t. I just want to feel you, want your cock to fill me up till I- oh fuck, till I can’t feel anything but how perfect and hard and hot you feel in my pussy. Mark me, I want it Ben.” You break the kiss and gasp against his skin when you notice how pliant he’s become beneath you. Nipping at his neck, you relish the clear reddened marks slowly appearing everywhere you’ve attended to, the sudden need to see his skin  glistening with your spit and teeth marks making you return to biting and licking him again. 

“Have I not claimed every inch of your skin enough? Have I not already trained your body to recognize my touch…my lips…my cock?” Ben barely manages to respond, the sensation of your mouth claiming him making him impossibly hard inside your pussy. He moans in between every word he breathes out to you, fingers digging into your waist and back when you grow more bold and aggressive with your marking. 

“No- it’s…that’s not- I need you to mark me. Mark me with your seed. Come inside me and claim me.” 

Time seems to stop as soon as Ben registers what you’ve just asked of him. He doesn’t dare move a muscle as he watches you lean up and make contact with his shocked eyes. 

“Little one, are you sure?” The question is whispered and you can’t help but think that it’s because Ben was trying to keep himself in check so he doesn’t breed you then and there. You let go of his neck to grab his hand, thanking the maker that he wasn’t fighting for dominance during such a moment. You take his fingers and trail them down your arm, and when they settle above the skin of your forearm, you push those digits and move them around until Ben feels the small chip hiding beneath heated and flushed skin. You swear you notice the faintest hint of disappointment on his features, and the thought that he truly wanted to fill you with his seed and breed you almost makes you come again. 

“Gods yes…fuck your cum inside my cunt Ben, and fill me up.” You let go of his hand and tell him as you capture his lips in another searing kiss. 

“Force help me, the mouth on you…it's dangerous. What a filthy fucking girl you’ve been sweetheart. And you are all mine.” Ben doesn’t give you any warning as he suddenly sits up and wraps your legs around his waist. You throw your head back and dig your nails into the hair at the nap of his neck as he roams his calloused palms up and down your back until they land on your thighs. It’s his turn to leave bruising marks on your shoulders, and when he’s satisfied with how far gone into pleasure he’s sent you, he hops off of the massage bed and makes his way towards your own bed.

“Yes.” You shut your eyes and surrender to him, excitement rushing through your veins when you feel him harden and grow heated inside your cunt with every step he takes. 

“Mine to do with as I wish.” Ben commands as he holds you tightly against his chest, the need to feel every inch of you slide deliciously across him outweighing everything else. 

“Please.” You plead again, wanting him to move quicker to your bed so he could fuck you like you’ve dreamt of for weeks on end. 

“Mine to touch, mine to kiss, and mine to fuck when I please.” He smiles when he sees your skin erupt with goosebumps at his promising words, and he slides his hands down your back as he kneels on your bed until he softly lays you on your back. You let go of him, and stretch your arms across your sheets, looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes as he trails his hands over your glistening skin. He thrusts softly into your pussy and throws his head back when your walls flutter around his cock and pull him in deeper. 

“Stars, you feel heavenly wrapped around my cock, so wet and ready to be fucked properly.” Ben sighs into the quiet room, returning his gaze to you once more when you dig your nails into the skin of his thick thighs to get his attention. 

“Use me, fuck me like you’ve wanted.” 

“Oh, I intend to little one.” He raises a curious eyebrow at your choice in words, knowing fully well that you were trying to get a rise out of him to get what you wanted, what both of you craved for so long. Leaning down against you until his arms rested on either side of your head, Ben mouths the softest of kisses on your forehead and down your cheeks until you’re smiling hazily at him. 

“I assure you, I will not leave your bed until your cunt is drowning in my seed. Is that what you desire of me, love? You wish to be full of my cum?” Ben asks as he begins to plunge his cock harder into you, his dick growing impossibly harder when you wrap your arms around his back and pull him flush against you. 

“Y-yes, gods yes Ben.” You claim against his throat, crying in pain and pleasure as that familiar heat grows in your lower stomach. 

“Look at you, you're positively sinful.” His voice is strained as he picks up the pace, and he’s torn between shutting his eyes to focus on how warm you feel around him and opening them to memorize your beautiful expression as you come undone again. Looking down for a brief moment, Ben decides that he very much desires to look upon you as you let him use you, a part of him somehow still wanting to ensure that you were, in fact, writhing beneath him, and that this wasn’t another dream plaguing his lonely nights. 

“Oh Ben, you're- you're so deep inside me. Your cock is stretching me so…gods, it's addicting. Can’t get enough of you…won’t ever- mhmm get enough of you.” You’re not sure if you’re making any sense to him, but you can’t find it in yourself to care when his cock hits all the right spots that force you among the stars. 

“Good girl, good fucking girl…you're doing so well for me.” Again, the sound of his voice as he fights to speak turns you on way more than it should, and you mouth at whatever skin you can reach to show him how much you want him, how much you crave tasting him on your tongue every minute of every day. 

“I'm so close already…please I- ahhh Ben, I want you to come with me. Need it, ohhhh so much.” You open your eyes for a second, and the sight that greets you will forever be etched in your mind’s eye. 

Ben was furrowing his eyebrows, focused solely on you and nothing else as he drove his cock into your cunt so deep and fast that you could feel the tip of him hit your cervix precisely and consistently. The sound of skin slapping on skin and heavy grunts fills the room, pushing you impossibly closer to the edge faster than you thought possible. Ben bites into his lower lip when he notices the way you’re looking at him, and he swears for a moment that you were about to confess something to him he knew might pull him apart. You part your lips to breathe those three shameless words to him but hold back at the last minute, afraid it might ruin the moment and unintentionally push him away. 

“I can't…can't hold back much longer, little one. Your cunt is begging for my seed, pulling me in deeper each time I sink into you. I can feel- oh sweet one, I can feel your walls fluttering around me. You are close, aren’t you?” He snaps his hips roughly against you over and over again until your body begins to shake underneath him. Ben growls into the night air when you suddenly cross your legs behind his back and push him into you until all he can feel is the sheer need you’re displaying for him. 

“Ben, oh maker-”

“That's it, dear heart. Come for me, know this sensation…memorize how full you are now so you can't come without feeling my cock inside you.” Ben loses the last sliver of control he has on his mind when he looks down and sees you crying with shameless desperation for him. He wants to slow down for both of your sakes, but you fit too perfectly around him that he can’t decide whether he wants to burrow his way into your cunt or your soul. 

“I- I’m…Ben-” You want to say so much. You want to tell him how long you’ve waited for this, how lonely you felt each time he walked out of your parlor with the unspoken promise of never seeing you again. You want to breathe to him how difficult it is for you to go a single day without the thought of his smile and his eyes, how you dream every night of submitting every beat of your heart to him. Instead, you pray his name like a benediction across his lips until you can’t voice your pleasure anymore, and with a particular thrust that forces the coarse hairs on his lower navel to slide perfectly across your clit, you fall apart on his cock and clench so harshly around him that he instantly falls over the edge with you. 

“Oh darling, you are driving me mad with need. I- I burn for you, and now…fuck, now you will be mine.” It’s the last promise he commands on your flushed skin, and with a few more thrusts, Ben comes undone and sinks his cock as deep into your pussy as he can without hurting you. He feels you squeeze him tightly and a strike of lightning shoots down his spine when he feels you sink your teeth into his shoulder to hold back from screaming his name. He mirrors your action bites your neck as well, his balls twitching violently until he’s released his seed inside you and painted your tight walls with his cum. 

The two of you remain wrapped in each other’s arms for a while after, neither of you wishing to part so much as an inch out of fear of this all becoming an extremely vivid dream. Ben pants with difficulty above you, and he remembers to hold himself above you just as his arms begin to give out. You notice what he’s doing before he gets off of you, and you twist your legs across his lower back to ensure that he remains where he is. The action accidentally pushes his cock further in your cunt, making the two of you hiss out of pain and pleasure at the oversensitivity coursing through your muscles. 

When you’ve had enough time to return to yourself once more, you slowly massage his back and let go of his waist, knowing that he might not necessarily wish to cuddle with you after what you’ve done. Ben begins to pull away and you will your heart to remain silent so you don’t break apart in front of him. But instead of leaving, Ben smiles softly at you and leans down to capture your lips in a loving embrace. You part your mouth for him instantly, sighing in relief when he takes a page out of your book and roams his palms up and down your thighs to soothe you. 

“Are you hurt? Was I- did I hurt you, my darling?” He asks worryingly, eyes quickly moving down your form and making note of all the bruises he’s left over your skin. 

“No Ben, you- maker, you were perfect.” You shake your head and smile at him, chest clenching tightly at the thought of this man thinking that he can ever do something to make you uncomfortable. 

“You are sure I didn’t-” He tries to ask again, but you don’t give him a chance and pull him down for another kiss. His body melts against you right away, and you smile when you feel his beard tickle your chin as he deepens the kiss. You’re not sure how long the two of you remain intertwined in each other, but when the need for air grows, you lay your head back against the sheets and look up at him with a teasing eyebrow. 

“Yes…besides, I like it a little rough.”

“You are an incorrigible little vixen.” Ben shakes his head and chuckles when you shrug your shoulders and make a show of checking him out. He blushes a deep shade of red as soon as he feels your hand roam up and down his chest with a hungry look. 

“I meant it when I said you can do whatever you want with me.” You break the silence, and pretend to ignore the small twitch of his cock at your declaration. Taking his hand into yours, you bring it up and kiss his palm to distract yourself from pushing him down on his back and riding him until he begs you to show him mercy. 

“What?” You giggle when you look up and see the way Ben studies you, unable to decipher whether his expression was one of newfound interest in wanting to fuck you agian or judgement how much you crave him. 

“Have you any idea of the effect those words have on me?” He asks as he twists your hand in his own and lays the softest and most loving of kisses over your knuckles. 

“Maybe,” you respond cheekily with a roll of your hips, making Ben grunt and rest his forehead against your own. He meets your movement with a slow thrust and shivers once he recognizes the mess he’s made of the two of you. Mostly you…

“Hmm, I will never get enough of this…enough of you. I thought this burning would calm once I have you but,” he stops mid-sentence to nudge your nose with his own, only continuing when he looks down and sees sheer bliss written across the smile reaching your eyes. 

“But now I know.” Ben doesn’t finish the rest of his thought, a part of him wanting to still tease you and see if you were actively listening to him or just humoring his words while you surrendered to his hands. 

“W-what?” You don’t realize how difficult you find it to breathe until Ben’s low, gravelly voice washes over your clavicle and down your sternum with each wet kiss he leaves. 

“Now I know I must have you whenever I can,” Ben declares as he sucks on one nipple, not giving you a chance to escape him and pinching the other in between his thumb and index finger. You arch your back into him, pushing your chest against his aggressive touches to relish the sensations rising across your body once more. 

“And what will happen if- ahhh stars, if you don’t?” You whimper beneath him as soon as his teeth close over your hardened peak a little harsher than you expected. 

“My heart may burst.” He declares those simple words with such assurance that your heart skips a beat at how terrifyingly honest he’s being with you. 

“You r-really want me this much Ben?” You can’t help but ask, a part of you still afraid that he only laid with you out of loneliness and not because he only desired to be comforted and touched by you. 

“I believed my desires were etched upon my face as clear as the twin suns. Clearly I was mistaken. Sweetling, not a moment goes by without the mere thought of your smile plagues my mind.” He stops his quest to kiss every inch of you in order to look into your eyes to show you that he means every word he’s said thus far. Ben notices the tears slowly forming in your eyes at his confession, and he smiles lovingly at you before leaning down and kissing the tears away. 

“In that case, you can have me anytime you want. I’ll never say no to you Ben, never.” You try to set his mind at ease so he doesn’t think you’re growing too emotional to his liking, but Ben kisses you instead to set your mind at ease. 

“Dearest, you know not how those words fill me with joy.”

“I’m glad I can make you happy so easily.” You turn away from him and get distracted by all the reddened marks you left across his neck and shoulders. 

“To look in your eyes is to behold a whole galaxy. It is as simple as that.” Ben purrs softly against your lips, and you shudder at the ease with which he can reveal to you such intimate and vulnerable desires to you. 

“Maker, you really do have a way with words, don’t you?” You giggle when he kisses the corner of your lips before nudging your nose again with a breathtaking smile that reaches his ears. 

“Only for you, sweet one. Only for you.” 

Ben sighs heavily as he feels you melt completely beneath him after a while, and as you slowly give yourself to sleep, he reluctantly pulls away to look upon your peaceful features again. So much has happened during the past few months, the past few years if he was being truly honest, but the longer he gazes at you, the calmer his heart feels because never in his entire life did he think he could be capable of feeling such emotions again. 

Never in his entire life did he think he could find his heart again…

And in such a place where it wasn’t meant to be. 

Tagging those who showed interest: @metalarmsandmanbuns​ @purple-mango @a-bang-for-your-bucky​ @zombiesnips-blog​

[macabre-mangled]

Love Like Wolves

OBI-WAN KENOBI X READER (gender neutral)

WARNINGS: canon typical violence and innuendos, insecurity (on readers end), brief mention of small age gap

SUMMARY: Obi-Wan assures you you're his despite it being secret

A/N: hot dilf. I also don't proofread my writing so deal with it lmao

Satine was gorgeous. You'd admit that. She also was so kind which made it hard when she was clearly showing interest in your lover. Obi-Wan wasn't flirting back by any means, but that didn't stop the hands of that ugly feeling to take hold of your brain. You of course masked it with the force, knowing that he could sense it otherwise. He could definitely tell something was wrong, but didn't have any idea what. You excused yourself to go and lick your wounds like a cowardly youngling. If Obi-wan was concerned he didn't voice it.

In our quarters you didn't find much peace either. in fact you had been pacing, your lightsaber clinking in its holster as you did. You know Obi-Wan would never be disloyal despite no one knowing about you two. He's not the type. However; it also means he can't publicly claim you. Maker, you sound so primitive. Is that really what we are in the end? Just like animals? Are you the same as a loth wolf? They mate for life. Does Obi view you as his life partner? All These thoughts swarmed your head like wasps. Obi was older than you, surely he's smart enough to not throw away a good thing. At least you hoped so.

"They're a good catch, Master Kenobi."

saltines eyes glittered as she spoke, A knowing glint in her eyes. Obi took notice and looked around in panic.

"Relax, I will not speak of it to anyone."

"If I may ask; how did you know?"

Obi-Wan didn't think he was THAT obvious. Or was he? Maker, he hopes not.

"The way you look at them. Its not obvious, but if someone knows where to look they can tell. Now, I will be taking my leave."

He watches Satine go. He surely hopes no one heard their conversation. Maker knows how much trouble he'd be in if the council found out. he wouldn't be able to take it if they took you from him. You're his light in the dark. He NEEDS you. Although now he's picking up on your distress. How did he not notice before? He starts off towards your quarters. He knows how you get. He just hopes you'll be in the mood to let him calm you down.

Upon his arrival he knocks twice then three times; the secret knock you two have. When you open the door he's greeted with your glare. Oh maker, what did he do? He doesn't recall doing anything. Your strained voice startles him out of his reverie.

"How's Satine? You two have fun making eyes at each other?"

Your tone gave away your emotions, something Jedi are not supposed to do. But right now you didn't care. Realization hit Obi-Wan's face.

"Darling, we weren't doing anything of that sort. Satine knows about us."

He calmly said in something just above a whisper as he slowly moved to cradle you in his arms. You let your shoulders fall. you knew this was ridiculous. Of course he wouldn't. You knew that, but maker that feeling took you by the horns. So you gathered all your courage to ask him the one question you had in the back of your mind.

"Do you see me as a life partner? Like would you marry me if you could?"

If he hadn't been right next to you he wouldn't have heard it. But he did and it made his heart ache how small you sounded. He knew you had insecurities, but never had he heard you sound so unsure. The answer was obvious he thought.

"Of course my darling, It's only you. We're bonded like loth wolves. Nothing or anyone will change that."

You snuggled closer to him at his words but his hand held you softly by the chin to look into his eyes. His eyes held an unspoken question and yours held the answer.

[darlingdekarios]

then I look at you.

rating: e for everyone. length: 1,141 content: Obi-Wan Kenobi x f!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, ptsd, nightmares, angst

it's easier to chase away the nightmares in his mind when the sunrise is spent with you.

Day-to-day was survival, his mind too busy navigating how to stay alive and honor his duty while being the most sought-after prey in the galaxy. Even through the trepidation he preferred his time awake, for when sleep came to him, as did the nightmares. 

It was a routine now, waking up in the middle of the night in a sweat, his entire body on fire in panic. It had been years since he’d slept an entire night free of the seemingly mandatory pain of waking up gasping for breath, and tonight was no different. His mind was still running, the agonizing soundtrack to his suffering as loud as they’d been when he first heard them.

Three words, ever present, forever haunting his mind on a perpetual loop that offered no reprieve. 

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Each repetition of the phrase was louder in his mind, each accompanying visual of disdainful red and yellow eyes pulling him further beneath the surface. He could still taste the smoke from Mustafar, the air sitting heavy in his lungs, weighing them down, refusing him a decent breath. 

But today you were there – offering him the salvation he didn’t deserve.

“Take a deep breath,” you instructed in a practiced tone, a hand delicately sliding against his chest to give him more to anchor to. “A deep, steady breath.”

He tried. He always tried for you, even against his best judgment. He’d known you before – during the Clone Wars when he was a hero rather than a hollow shell. He finally tore his eyes open to meet yours, the morning just light enough to find comfort in the depths.

He’d never intended to allow you this close – he’d insisted after the reunion that you stay away for your own good. The people around him still seemed to display a penchant for not listening to him, especially you. The comfort of your company was irresistible, the familiarity blanketing him in something almost safe. 

The moment he realized he held you in his grasp now and your worry filled eyes brought him fully to his senses, a steady rhythm began to take control of his breath. His hands grasped at your waist as you began to set a steady pace of breath, encouraging him to replicate you until a semblance of normalcy had returned to him.

“There, Obi-Wan,” you whispered lightly as his body started to relax, his head dropping to rest his forehead against yours as his eyes squeezed shut again. His deepest breath yet covered your lips, causing them to curve upward slightly with relief. “I’m here. You’re with me.”

The sound of the name he so rarely heard now on your lips in the quiet morning, the gentle hues of twilight a stark contrast to the fiery visions that had filled his mind only moments before. With a deep exhale he opened his eyes only briefly to take in the beauty of your face, welcoming the familiarity into his mind eagerly. 

You allowed him his reticent moment, closing what little distance remained to press a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips. Such a simple act shattered his resolve, his arms coming to circle your waist and hold you closer as his eyes fluttered open again. 

“I’m sorry.”

You hated that he started his morning like this – with panic followed instantaneously by apologies he didn’t owe you, always with words so soft they were hardly there. Your hands moved to cup either side of his face, thumbs brushing over his twin sun freckled cheeks, committing all the new specks to memory. You rubbed the tip of your nose against his, soundlessly coaxing the remaining rigidity from his body.

“You’re not the only one in the galaxy that has nightmares, Obi-Wan,” you whispered, voice so naturally imbued with tenderness it was impossible not to relax beside you. “I’m only bothered that you deal with them alone while I’m not here.”

He wouldn’t let you be here all the time – he couldn’t allow you to spend the amount of time you both wanted together for fear of attracting too much attention. Even if he’d offered, you never would have stayed, a calling to do your part in the galaxy as a pilot still searing through your veins as hard as it had in the Clone Wars.

“They’re not your burden to carry.”

“They’re too heavy for you alone.”

He released a deep breath in concession, dipping his head forward to press a gentle kiss to your lips. His beard scratched against your skin, pulling a light smile from you that crinkled your nose. He’d never feel worthy of looking at someone so beautiful, and the easy argumentative streak you displayed was exactly enough to lighten his chest even if only for a moment. “You are impossible.”

“Can’t let you get lazy,” you cooed, sliding your hands to cup his jaw and run your nails into his beard. He released a deep sigh, goosebumps breaking out on his skin despite the warmth that surrounded the two of you. As he relaxed in the moment you softened your voice further. “Was it him again? Anakin?”

His brow pulled together, and you raised your head to press a kiss to the lines. When you pulled away from the lingering contact he met your gaze again, to be met with a depth of understanding and affection he’d not seen in years. It was never easy to hear that name, never easy to talk about the things he’d seen – but you gave him the most welcoming outlet. You never pushed, and never had the wrong thing to say.

“It’s always him,” he replied, leaning his forehead forward again to meet yours. His eyes squeezed shut again, filling his lungs with a deep breath before he shook his head barely, the undeniable defeat deeply ingrained his words. “I am destined to be haunted by my failure.”

“You’re not a failure, Obi-Wan,” you insisted, hands sliding to either side of his neck where you wrapped gentle circles with your fingertips. He could – and would – cling to moments like these with you. “Anakin made his choices. We are all responsible for our own path across the stars.”

You’d have made a great Jedi if you’d been born Force sensitive – wise, compassionate, gentle-hearted. But, then again – you’d also be dead.

“Thank you,” he relented, comforted for the moment that he had someone who could bring him a feeling of peace – even if it was only temporary. Without opening his eyes he leaned forward to press another gentle, appreciative kiss to your lips, quietly sealing away the conversation for the time being. 

It would undoubtedly rear its ugly head again, but for now, he would savor the gentle intimacy of your affection as the rising twin suns brought on a new day.

masterlist. star wars masterlist.

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

my tears ricochet

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home.’

Requsted - Yes - @fandomtrashwhore 🤎

You had been fighting in the Clone Wars for a long time now, in that time you had been mad, you had felt anger for all the men lost, all the civilians used and left without anything, you had felt rage at the helpless feeling, at how it seemed the war would never end. In the years of the Clone Wars you had felt a lot of emotions, intense and overwhelming ones, but never anything like this.

You were seething, it felt like white hot anger was running through your whole body, lighting you up, and you couldn’t let it show, not whilst you stood before the Council, not as you listened to them debate your future before you. They spoke freely, murmuring to each other about your actions, about attachments and your anger, how your path had become clouded with the Dark Side.

You wanted to laugh, you wanted to cry, you wanted to let the Force break out from where you were barely containing it and let it wreak havoc on the room as you stood there. You had pleaded with them, Force had you pleaded with them to hear you out but they weren’t listening. It was like their minds were already made up on the matter and they had just been waiting for you to mess up.

The worst part of this whole trial was that the one person you wanted to be on your side hadn’t even opened his mouth. Your eyes were locked onto Obi-Wan but he refused to look up at you, refused to meet your gaze and that might have hurt more than any punishment the Jedi Council could give you.

You and Obi-Wan had been close friends for years but with the war you had been partnered together, working closely side by side, fighting together and having each other's back every day.

It was no wonder you fell in love with the man.

You kept your feelings to yourself at first though because while you may not have cared much for certain ways of the Jedi, you knew Obi-Wan believed in the ways and you never wanted to put him in a position where he would have to choose between you or the Jedi, not when you knew you wouldn’t stand a chance against the Order.

That was until you had been captured and tortured, you couldn’t have said at the time just how long you’d been gone for, to you it had felt like years but Obi-Wan had told you, with tear filled eyes, that you’d be gone for a number of weeks.

When Obi-Wan had come for you all you could do was collapse into his arms, not helping him as he led you back to the ship and barely remembering him getting you to the medbay. The next time you opened your eyes the pain had lessened and Obi-Wan was sitting at your side, his hand in yours and that feeling, the feeling of his thumb brushing softly against you was enough to erase any remaining pain away.

It was a long journey back to Coruscant and you were only stuck in the medbay for the night before you received the all clear from the medical droid with orders to rest for a few days. Despite the clearance Obi-Wan insisted you share his room on the ship with him so he could watch over you.

You had hardly protested, unwilling to give up a night or two sharing a bed with Obi-Wan. In those two days everything between you seemed to shift, the whispered words in the middle of the night, Obi-Wan holding you close whilst he murmured how brave you were, the overwhelming fear he’d felt when he lost you.

Obi-Wan knew he could no longer deny his feelings for you, he’d always known but he tried desperately to shove them down, to ignore it because that was the Jedi way. Attachments were forbidden but with you gone he realised that was too late, he was already attached to you. He couldn’t stop himself, not when you looked up at him, looking at him like he was the only person in the galaxy.

He cupped your cheek and brushed his lips against yours, softly at first to give you a chance to pull away but it didn’t take long for the kiss to turn hungry and desperate, both of you making up for lost time as you clung to each other.

When you eventually pulled away Obi-Wan had tried to apologise, stammering out an explanation but for as legendary as he was with his words this time he could come up with nothing to say.

Whatever stuttered words Obi-Wan had managed to get out were cut off by you shushing him with another kiss before you both pulled away, Obi-Wan leaning his forehead against yours as he looked at you in wonderment.

Somehow you had been able to convince Obi-Wan that this was a good idea, whatever relationship came from these kisses would be good. You could both keep it away from the Council, keep it just yours and make sure it didn’t interfere with your jobs. Obi-Wan had nodded along with your words and let the relationship continue.

That had all been just over a year ago and now you were standing before him as the other Master’s held the fate of your future in their hands. You hardly recognised the man, not right now when he wouldn’t even meet your eyes.

He was the whole reason the Council was debating anyway. They had given you an order, Obi-Wan had been sent on a solo mission with half of the 212th whilst you were needed in another battle with the remaining battalion.

Mid battle you felt a shift in the Force and it wasn’t long after one of the clones had told you they heard through the comms that Obi-Wan had been taken. You hadn’t even waited for him to finish speaking, taking one of the smaller ships and a small squadron you left the battle and the planet behind, uncaring that it was an important battle, uncaring that winning it would gain the Republic a key partner and planet in the war.

You didn’t care, the Separatists could have the planet, they could have all the towns they’d burnt down, the only thing that mattered to you was Obi-Wan.

It hadn’t taken long for the Council to find out you had abandoned your post and were heading towards Rigantu. They had immediately demanded your presence through the comms and you cleared the room before connecting with them.

“The Battle on Creanti is too important, Y/L/N. We cannot risk it staying in Separatists hands, we need that planet.” Master Windu told you like one might talk to a child.

“And what of Obi-Wan? What are your plans for him? I’m the closest person to Rigantu, you know that as well as I do!” You snapped, sick of going round in circles with the Council.

“Obi-Wan will be fine, you can rescue him after you have completed your mission on Creanti.” Master Windu stressed and you chuckled humorlessly, the last time you had spoken to Obi-Wan he looked terrible but assured you he could last until you arrived.

You had been taken and tortured so long ago and Obi-Wan hadn’t hesitated to come for you, you were going to do the same whether the Council approved or not.

“It could be too late after my mission, Master.” You hissed the word, your tone full of venom and you watched as Master Windu’s eyes narrowed at you before he and Master Yoda were sharing a look.

“Forbidden from going to Rigantu, you are.” Master Yoda said after a long pause of silence where the two Master’s held a silent conversation. “Go back to Creanti, you will.”

“You cannot stop me, Master.” You told them with a calmness you didn’t feel. “Punish me if you must but I’m not leaving him to die out there. Not Obi-Wan.”

With that you ended the comm call and made your way through the ship. It was only an hour long trip to reach Rigantu and you spent most of that time desperately trying to find even a sliver of Obi-Wan’s force signature but never did.

It was maddening.

Eventually you arrived on the planet and had the ship set down next to the palace. Through intercepting Separatist comms you had managed to find where Obi-Wan was being held.

You barked orders at the men, used the Force to cause so much destruction, walls were torn down, cliffs crumbled and you tossed droids around wildly, uncaring about anything other than getting Obi-Wan back.

Once you were in the palace you heard people gasping as you led a squadron through, not holding back as you marched ahead, making quick work of anyone who stood in your way.

From the room you knew Obi-Wan was being held in you could hear pained grunts and muffled sobs like he was trying not to give his torturer the satisfaction of knowing how badly he was being hurt but couldn’t stop the noises when the pain was too much.

You strode down the hallway, taking out the droids in a matter of seconds before your lightsaber pierced through the locked door and you cut a circle into the metal, stepping through the second the door fell to the floor.

The person torturing Obi-Wan looked like a doctor, a few Separatist leaders in the room but you didn’t spare them much of a look. You just wielded the Force until it felt like something you had never felt, whereas the Force was usually Light and easy to manipulate this time it felt heavy and Dark.

You didn’t care though, not when it had Obi-Wan’s torturers falling to their knees, choking for air as an invisible Force cut off their air supply. You kept moving even as you clenched your fist, making your way over to Obi-Wan and gasping at the sight of him.

He was black and blue with bruises, burns covering the skin you could see cuts littered on him. That was the final push you needed to clench your fist harder, hearing the collective struggles come to a stop.

“I’ve got you.” You murmured, quickly undoing his shackles and gesturing for the men to help you lift him.

It took a while to get to the ship, Obi-Wan was dead weight at that point but that didn’t matter, he was still breathing even if they were shallow.

You could see Obi-Wan’s ship and made your way over to that, knowing there were med droids on board that you needed to get Obi-Wan to.

From there everything had been a blur, Obi-Wan was unconscious the whole journey back to the Temple but the med droid assured you he was stable, you were ripped away from him the moment your ship landed. Masters Windu and Yoda were waiting for you and told you that you were to stay in your quarters until they called you before the Council.

The days drove you mad, nobody would tell you anything, droids brought you meals and you weren’t allowed to see anyone. You were scared for Obi-Wan, all you wanted to know that he was ok.

The next time you saw him was when the Jedi Council convened and called you before them, which brought you to now. Obi-Wan looked better than he had the last time you had seen him, from what little you could see with the robe covering so much and his refusal to meet your eye.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Master Yoda cleared his voice and the room went silent. You could only look at him as you waited for the verdict.

“Punished, you will be.” Master Yoda said after a pause of silence, “To be expelled from the Jedi Order, you are.”

The words had barely left his mouth before you let out a slightly maniacal laugh, his words ringing in your ears as you stared down at him, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You’re throwing me out? I saved Obi-Wan’s life, you saw him, he wouldn’t have lasted as long as you wanted to wait! I saved him and you’re punishing me for it!” You exclaimed, jutting your chin out as Master Windu levelled you a cold hard look, one that would usually have you falling silent and complying with whatever order you’d been given but you figured there was little you could do to change their minds so what did you have to lose. “Surely you can see how ridiculous this is. We’re fighting a war, we need all the help we can get!”

“Trusted, you no longer are. Go, you will.” Master Yoda told you and you shook your head again.

You could have just walked away, the decision was made and you knew once the Council had decided on a matter that was it, really you should have left with grace and your dignity but you didn’t care for that.

There was only one thing you cared about and he was keeping his mouth firmly shut.

“You’re not even going to speak in my favour,” You laughed bitterly, finally addressing the man you loved, the man you were getting thrown out of the Order for. “I saved your life and you won’t say a word.”

Obi-Wan finally glanced up at you, a guilty, broken look on his face. He opened his mouth as if to say something but was cut off by Master Yoda clearing his throat causing Obi-Wan to look down. When you glanced over at Master Yoda you saw the mistrusting look on his face but it was gone just as quick as he turned to you and gestured towards the door.

“I have given my life to this Order!” You exclaimed, the rage you felt was unbearable, it felt like it was burning you from the inside out. “I followed your commands and played by your foolish rules for years and this is what I get! If this is the future then I sure as hell am not rooting for your success against the Separatists, you’re all as bad as each other.”

With that you turned on your heels, using the Force that was bubbling with anger to slam the doors open, the sound echoing around the chambers, before you stormed out with your head held high.

You went back to your rooms, the second the door slammed shut behind you, you let the rage explode, the Force spreading across the room just as Dark and angry as you felt and destroying everything around you. Everything that could break shattered, furniture, books, pictures, everything went flying leaving the room a mess and all you could do was scream, scream for the man that you loved more dearly than anything but who clearly didn’t love you back as much.

You don’t know how long you stayed there for, eventually falling to your knees but at some point you managed to pick yourself up off of the floor and packed a small bag. You didn’t know where you’d go, some outer rim planet perhaps, where you could lay low and decide what your next move was but you knew you had to be away from Coruscant.

So that’s what you did, you found a ship to a sleazy outer rim planet you had never even heard the name of and left Coruscant behind, looking out of the window and cursing the Order, cursing the man who hadn’t fought for you.

As you sat on the shuttle you felt a tear slide down your face but quickly wiped it away. Tears wouldn’t solve anything and you refused to cry over any of them, not when you had given your life to them and this is how you were repaid.

Your new life was…lonely. It was the only word for it but it was easy to turn that loneliness into pain and anger and feed the Darkness inside of you. Ever since the day you’d rescued Obi-Wan using means that weren’t Light you had grown obsessed with feeling the hum of the Dark Side, the anger you felt at the Order only made it easier to call upon the Darkness until you were wrapped around in it with no way out.

Even with this newfound Darkness growing inside you, dragging you further in with each new day, you could never shake your love for Obi-Wan. You’d tried to, Force knows it would have been easier if you could, but you’d never been able to turn your feelings for Obi-Wan off.

You still had plenty of old contacts, most still willing to talk to you as it seemed the Jedi Order were covering the fact you had been expelled, rumour has it they had told people you were on a top secret mission. You couldn’t help but laugh at that, they threw you out without a second thought but they were more than happy to cover up to make themselves look like the heroes.

Speaking of heroes, according to your contacts Obi-Wan was still playing the same unshakeable hero that everyone knew, still flying around the galaxy as he did whatever the Council asked of him. Here you were on some nowhere planet, life ruined and Obi-Wan was saving face so he could still be Jedi Master Kenobi.

You might still have loved the man but Force if it didn’t make you angry thinking about how Obi-Wan had refused to even stand up for you. The worst thing was you knew that if the situation was different, if it had been Obi-Wan stood up there alone and expelled from the Order, you knew you’d have stood from your chair and walked out with him. You’d have done that for him and he hadn’t even been able to look at you.

The anger you felt just continued to feed the Dark Side, before you knew it when you looked into the mirror you were staring at eyes you didn't recognise, they were yellow and angry.

This is what the Council had done to you.

Obi-Wan felt like he was losing his mind. He might have played the perfect soldier, continuing to go wherever the Jedi sent him, continuing to fight and win battles before readying himself for the next mission. He might have looked like the same person everyone had known before you left but he wasn’t.

He was constantly running on too little sleep. Whenever he did manage to drift off it wasn’t ever long before he woke with your name on his lips, dreams of you alone somewhere in the galaxy, dreams of you telling him how much you hated him. His waking hours weren’t much better, you seemed to be everywhere, he couldn’t escape you. He’d look out into a crowd and see your face in it, he could hear you whispering, taunting him as he did what was expected of him.

You truly were haunting his every waking and sleeping moment. He walked around with the weight of his regret on his shoulders every day, wishing things were different, wishing you had stayed, wishing he had gone with you.

He just wished everything was different.

It was a big galaxy, you could go anywhere you wanted now you were no longer a part of the Jedi Order. You had long since left that small planet and moved on to the next and when you tired of that you moved on. You could go wherever you wanted and yet you couldn’t go to the one place you wanted to be most: home.

You wanted to go home.

Not to Coruscant or the Temple, though that is where you have been since you were a child. No, home to you was wherever Obi-Wan was, it didn’t matter if it was some occupied Separatist planet or the Negotiator, wherever he was it always felt like home. It was the one place you wanted to be more than anything.

Now you were alone in the galaxy, moving from planet to planet with nothing but your anger keeping you going.

Obi-Wan couldn’t believe what he was hearing, standing before Master Yoda and Master Windu, both of their expressions deadly serious.

“I will not kill her.” Obi-Wan finally choked out, shaking his head in utter disbelief at what they were asking of him. “You cannot ask me to do that, Master. I won’t, despite all that has happened she is still my oldest and dearest friend.”

That’s not all you were of course, to Obi-Wan you were still his whole world, he still loved you more dearly than he had ever thought possible. He had his loyalties to the Order though, the Order he had sworn his very life to. He never wanted to have to choose between you or the Order, desperately believing he could keep the two apart but he should have known better really.

“The girl you knew is long gone, Obi-Wan. Our sources assure us she has fallen to the Dark Side and we need to stop her. We can’t have more Sith when we’re already struggling to fight this war.” Master Windu said coldly, showing no sympathy for Obi-Wan.

“Questioned, your loyalties are. Whispers of your attachments, there are.” Master Yoda said. “The Jedi Master you are, prove to us.”

“You question my loyalties? I let her go, did I not? Surely there is another way to prove myself, I cannot kill Y/N.” Obi-Wan pleaded, feeling his world giving out around him.

“Obi-Wan, we will not ask again.” Master Windu said as he pressed a chip into Obi-Wan’s hands. “This is where she is, go to her, do your mission and return to us. This is the only way to ensure victory for the Republic.”

Obi-Wan let out a shaky sigh, taking the chip from the other Jedi and turning to leave the room, missing the look shared between Masters Yoda and Windu.

By the time Obi-Wan found you you were already waiting for him, lightsaber in your hand but not yet lit. Obi-Wan made his way over to you with heavy feet before he stopped across from you.

From here he could see it was true, you really turned to the Dark Side, the Sith yellow eyes made him shudder as he recalled your Y/E/C eyes looking up into his, looking at him with such warmth that was missing now.

“They sent you to kill me.” You said by way of greeting and Obi-Wan nearly recoiled at the coldness in your tone.

“Stop this.” He pleaded with you, desperate for you to listen to him. “It doesn’t have to end this way, let me help you.”

“Help me?” You laughed darkly, the two of you know slowly walking in a circle around each other. “You had your chance to help me, Obi-Wan, all those months back and instead you sat there in silence as they decided my fate. This is my fate, this is what they made me.”

You lit your lightsaber and swung for him, Obi-Wan’s lightsaber igniting and crashing into yours. You were strong but Obi-Wan was able to throw you off him, pushing you to the side so you had to roll to stand back up just as he took his first swing.

It went on like that for a few minutes, the two of you fighting each other, such a stark contrast to the way you used to fight side by side.

“You can kill me, Obi-Wan.” You told him, your tone softer than it had been moments before and you took the way Obi-Wan paused to get another blow in before continuing. “But you will always miss me. You can lie to them, you can lie to yourself but you never could lie to me.”

Both your lightsabers smacked into each other again, Obi-Wan gaining the advantage as he pushed you down, managing to use the Force to kick your legs out from beneath you as he sent you to the floor.

“Stop this!” He pleaded with you but you still held firm, knowing you were stuck but pushing your lightsaber up into his anyway.

“You know, you used to tell me I was brave for fighting for what I believed in? I believed in us, I fought for that but you didn’t.” You hissed, the heat of the lightsaber so close to your face and the effort of fighting Obi-Wan caused sweat to pool on your forehead.

“Did I deserve any of this? What did I do that was so terrible?” You asked him desperately, feeling how he shuddered at your words. “They threw me out because of you because I chose to save you! I couldn’t let you die, Obi-Wan!”

“Y/N, you knew the Jedi’s rules on attachment, we both promised we wouldn’t do anything to make them aware of our relationship.” Obi-Wan told you and you used the new wave of anger to shove him away from you, rolling out from under him and getting back to your feet, wasting no time in bringing your lightsaber down on him.

“But they’re not aware, are they?” You hissed out as your lightsabers continued hitting into each other. “Because whilst I got dragged through the flames you sat there and kept silent!”

“Do you truly think I didn’t fight for you?” Obi-Wan yelled as he brought his lightsaber down on you, again gaining the upper hand and forcing you down, trapping you between a boulder and his lightsaber. “Y/N I spent more time than I could count pleading and bargaining with them.”

“And yet you never told them you were as attached as I am.” You forced out, straining against the weight of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber as it came closer. “Did I deserve this, Obi-Wan, all the hell the Order gave me?”

“I’m sorry.” Obi-Wan whispered, you could feel him shaking from where he was pining you in place and you took a deep breath.

Even now, even with everything the Order was making him do you knew he wouldn’t leave. You knew you’d never have the man you loved back, not when he was so blindly loyal to the Jedi Order.

“I love you, Obi-Wan, I swear I love you.” You whispered before using the Force to turn your lightsaber off, Obi-Wan’s immediately falling forward into you and as you faded you heard his cry.

Obi-Wan fell to his knees, pulling your body onto his lap as he cried for you, he cried for the way your story had ended, he cried and cursed and screamed at the sky until he was too numb for anything else.

Somehow he managed to drag himself up, he picked your body up, refusing to leave you behind on some planet, you deserved better than that.

You deserved better than it all.

It was only a few days later Obi-Wan was wrapping a warm cloak around his shoulders, pulling the hood up and remembering how you had been the one to gift it to him. He made his way through the Temple with his head down, Anakin and Ahsoka were at the main entrance waiting for him and he didn’t speak as the three of them walked together.

The room was filled with people, some were crying, many were clinging to each other and Obi-Wan felt his own composure slip as tears he had tried holding back slid freely down his cheeks.

He couldn’t bring himself to walk to the front of the room where your body lay, he couldn’t do it, he had already seen your dead body enough to haunt him for a lifetime and it did. Every time he closed his eyes he saw you dead in his lap, every time he tried to sleep he awoke after less than an hour, a curse and your name on his lips as he dreamed of Sith eyes that used to be so bright, he dreamt about your last words, the love confession that he never got to return.

He swore some days he could hear you when he was awake, the words echoing in his head. Some days it felt like you were taunting him, like today he could practically hear you asking why he was at your wake when he was the one who killed you.

He tried blaming the Order at first, Masters Yoda and Windu had been the ones to give the order but he was the one who followed it. He tried to blame you for leaving, for letting your anger turn to Darkness but he knew you weren’t to blame. He regretted not walking out with you that day.

He was so full of pain, drunk on it and desperately wished it would end but it never would, this was his punishment, to live with this pain. He was a shell of the man he once was, nothing more than a ghost anymore because it may have been you who had died, killed by his own hands, but you might as well have killed him too because he had died on that planet right alongside you.

Obi-Wan had tried to forget you, he tried to bury himself into the war efforts in an attempt to forget about all the good years the two of you had had together but it was no use. 

You were always there with him, haunting him until the day he died.

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[dolce-peach]

soft and honeyed

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x jedi!reader

summary: you and obi-wan are frequent battle partners during the clone wars. after a battle, the two of you head back to the jedi temple for some much needed rest -- and a much needed bath.

warnings: just obi being soft, implied nudity but nothing too graphic sorry

a/n: my obi-wan obsession has resurfaced 😆 pls enjoy this lil blurb of fluff and comfort bc THE MAN NEEDS IT 🥺😭 also feel free to leave some requests if you want, as i'm literally drowning in my obi feels LMAO 🥲

permanent taglist: @kaitlynmalikisnotonfire @just-another-loki-fangirl

** TO MAKE A REQUEST -- please check the status in my bio **

masterlist

----

You sat down heavily in your seat, a sigh surfacing as you sank into the mostly unforgiving cushion, but to you, it was the most comfort you had in weeks. Feeling the cool air of the cruiser’s interior as it sped through cold space, you quickly realized you were so used to the planet's rather warm and humid atmosphere.

A familiar presence settled in the seat beside you. Obi-Wan. You glanced over to see his eyes closed with exhaustion.

He was a determined fighter, often pushing his energy past the limit. It was often your job to make sure he didn’t overwork himself, but you didn’t mind. Something about you mothering him was like therapy for you.

“Get some rest,” he said, his eyes still closed.

You smiled, fixing your gaze on the grey ceiling. “Watching you rest is good enough for me. Besides, I don’t sleep well in space.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll sleep for days when we get back to the temple.”

“That’s if we’re not shipped off somewhere else,” you lamented. “Do you think home has changed?”

You could almost feel his brow furrow. “Changed? In the course of a few weeks?” he said. “I doubt it. Home could actually do with some change. I bet they still haven’t fixed the flood in the ladies’ bathroom.”

Groaning, you elbowed him. “All I want is a bath. If it’s still flooded, I’m blaming you.”

It was light banter like this that got you through those weeks, and even the battles before that. It seemed like only yesterday the two of you were made Jedi knights and quickly charged head on into a war no one was ready for.

Not that you weren’t ready. You had been ready to face the trials for a while, but because nearly the entirety of the Jedi Temple seemed to be recruited, you felt unsteady suddenly being knighted. You were sure Obi-Wan felt the same, defeating a Sith lord and then being burdened with the responsibility of a Padawan.

The two of you heavily relied on each other to watch each other’s backs, and keep each other sane. Being engulfed in battles all the time was enough to make your head spin. The sound of blasters that always seemed to frighten you became white noise.

When you finally arrived back at the temple to debrief with the Council, you felt yourself relax a little as you walked through the halls. But at the thought of standing in a meeting room for at least an hour, you sighed.

The work was never done.

“Do we have to go see the Council?” you rhetorically asked grumpily. “Can’t we just meet tomorrow?”

Obi-Wan gave you a nod. “You can go wash up. I’ll give the report.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

He sighed. “Well, you did save my life at the end there...again.”

“I suppose I did,” you laughed. “That makes five, I believe.”

Rubbing his beard in thought, he smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. “Right. Five.”

You flashed a wide grin. “Well...if you insist on debriefing with the Council alone, then I guess I’ll get a head start on some much needed rest.” You playfully saluted. “See you around, General.”

The Jedi master nodded, his funny crooked grin appearing through his beard as he echoed the greeting. “General.”

Excitement filled you as you sped through the halls to your room to gather some things for a bath. It was a silly thing to be thrilled over, but if there was one thing you learned, take advantage of the tiny joys while you can.

And you knew you were going to enjoy it.

Humming while you practically skipped to the communal bathroom, you stopped dead in your tracks as you felt still water beneath your bare feet. You lifted your gaze to see the sunlight falling through the windows, reflecting on the water that covered the large tub and the floor surrounding it.

You could almost hear Obi-Wan’s laughter as you stood there, frozen and dejected.

You made a mental note to strangle him later.

With another heavy sigh, you walked out across the hall to the men’s room, fuming. You couldn’t care less if anyone was in the room. To your pleasant surprise, there wasn’t a single soul.

It wasn’t long before you filled the tub with scalding water and plenty of bubbles.

Sinking into the bath was by far the best feeling in your life. You wasted no time scrubbing layers of dirt and grime from your skin before you closed your eyes and lay in the tub, letting the steam fog the air.

“So I take it the other room’s still flooded.”

As you opened your eyes, Obi-Wan stood above you. “You and I both know that I desperately need this bath.” You crinkled your nose in annoyance. “Don’t forget, I still blame you.”

“Oh, I know,” he mused.

To your surprise, he began to undo his belt before shrugging off his robes, revealing his rather lean figure. He’d always been a rather conservative person ever since he was a youngling, but you guessed that living together in the most unpredictable circumstances made him more comfortable around you.

Scars carved his shoulders like constellations, including some new flesh wounds from flying shrapnel and rogue bullets. You admired his torso for another moment before closing your eyes, letting the heat of the water soak through your skin.

You could hear him shuffle and kick his boots off before joining you in the tub with a quiet splash.

Looking over, you saw him sink further into the water with a groan. “Too hot?” you asked.

He shook his head with a content smile. “It’s perfect.”

You smiled, gathering your robes. “I’ll leave you to it, then. The Council would have a fit if they knew I was in here.”

“Let them,” Obi-Wan replied, preoccupied with bubbles. “Just stay and rest. You deserve it.” He flashed a quick wink. “It’s not like anything’s going on.”

“Who are you, and what have you done with Obi-Wan Kenobi?” you laughed. You hesitated before settling back in the water again. “Speaking of the Council, how was the meeting?”

His blue gaze flitted towards you. “Oh, nothing exciting. They seemed pleased,” he sighed. “They’re thinking of sending us elsewhere in a few days.”

“Of course,” you said, giving a bitter smile. “We’re in the middle of a war. We haven’t the time for anything else anymore.” You leaned your head against the edge of the tub, your gaze on the window above. “This was never supposed to happen. I mean look at us, we’re military leaders now.” You shook your head. “I wish it would just end soon.”

He inhaled deeply. “Me too.”

You turned back to look at him before you found yourself rubbing spots of dirt and grime away on his cheek. He seemed to melt into your touch, closing his eyes as your thumb found more marks on his forehead. Your touch was soothing and rhythmic.

You stifled a laugh, earning a small, somewhat annoyed, “What?”

“You’d think you rolled down a rocky hill into a pile of dirt, not battled thousands of droids,” you said, your thumb brushing over his brow to the top of his cheekbone. “You’re filthy, General.”

“I apologize for war not being more of a...civilized matter.”

Shaking your head, you began tracing his features with your fingers. The edges of his beard felt prickly under the pads of your fingers as you wiped away some bubbles.

“For what it’s worth, you’re doing the best you can,” you murmured.

His lips twitched into a thin smile. “You too.” His voice was soft and rather scratchy from yelling orders through explosions. “This will all be over soon, and we’ll all go back to living normal lives.”

“Normal,” you scoffed, nudging his bare shoulder. “We’re Jedi. We’re far from normal.”

His eyes followed your hands as you grabbed a sponge and your body scrub and began scrubbing his arms. He could feel your anxiety fading away with each scrub, almost like cleaning him was the therapy you needed.

He was infatuated with you, the way your skin glistened with steam. Your expression was relaxed and flushed from the heat, even more calm than when you slept. His head spun at the thought of smelling like you.

As he turned so you could scrub his back, massaging his muscles as you went, he couldn’t help but asking a question to fill the silence.

“Do you ever wish you weren’t a Jedi?”

Your motions stopped, and for a moment, panic made the blood drain from his face, thinking he asked the one question he shouldn’t have. When you continued, he let out a small breath.

“Sometimes,” you admitted softly. “But it’s honestly been so long, I can’t see myself doing anything else. After all, we were raised here.”

He knew how you felt.

He echoed your answer in his head. Sometimes.

Maybe in a different universe, you’d be happy in the countryside on a distant planet, far from the problems of the Republic. You’d eventually settle down with a family, children perhaps, or maybe you’d live your life alone with nothing but nature for company.

Or maybe you’d still be in the middle of all the action. You’d fight and fight until there was nothing left to fight for. Peace would prevail.

Sensing his mind in a haze, you leaned over his shoulder, gently pressing yourself into him. Your chin settled over his broad shoulder and collarbone, with his beard just missing your cheek. “What’re you thinking about?”

He stiffened at your touch before relaxing. “Hypotheticals.”

You let out a soft laugh, wrapping your arms around him. “As per usual.” He could feel you smiling as your lips brushed his skin. “Learn to quiet your mind, General. Those thoughts won’t do you any good.”

He turned, facing you. Instead of shying away, you kept your eye contact, brushing his long locks back.

“I can’t help it,” he joked lightly. “Perhaps I’m in need of some guidance from a well-seasoned Jedi.”

You smiled. “You’re looking right at one.”

As he watched your smile widen, he fell into your gaze again. He knew there was no such thing as luck, but he also knew he was the luckiest man alive to have you by his side.

[hugmekenobi]

Strength- Ch11

Gif by @anakin-skywalker 

Obi Wan x female!reader

Series Summary: You’re estranged from the Jedi Order and have spent much of your life avoiding them. So, what happens when you have to assist Jedi Master and General Obi Wan Kenobi in battle and you’re forced to come back to Coruscant and work with him?

<Previous Chapter 

Chapter 11 Summary: With the latest arrival at your door, you’re finally in a position where you can’t push away what you feel anymore.

Genre: Enemies to Lovers

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), swearing, Force bonds work how I say they do, kissing, SMUT (including non-explicit descriptions of fingering, handjob, oral (m&f receiving), (f)masturbation, implied unprotected PinV (be safe in reality please), exhibitionism, (very quick but technically) cum eating, blink and you miss it authority kink, teasing/ light dirty talk, body worship with mentions of scars), fluff and feelings.

Word Count: 3.8k

Rating: 18+

Author’s notes: It’s finally here!! The chapter we’ve all been waiting for!! Not an awful lot plot wise happens here haha but enjoy!!  The support continues to mean a lot!! This is the second last chapter of this story. 

You couldn’t breathe, let alone speak right now.

“Can I come in?” Obi Wan asked, forcing himself not to pay attention to the fact that you were, once again, dressed only in a robe in front of him.

You still couldn’t trust yourself to speak so you only nodded and stepped aside to let him through.

“This is nice.” Obi Wan commented as he looked around your flat. It was tiny and a bit decrepit but compared to the state of some of the other apartments in this level, it was one of the better ones.

You managed to find your voice again and scoffed. “Oh yeah, I’m the envy of everyone in Coruscant. The cracks in the ceiling really add to the ambience.”

Obi Wan cringed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why are you here, Kenobi?” You asked, as you moved into the kitchen and turned on the tap. You needed to occupy yourself and washing the dishes was the first thing that popped into your head.

Obi Wan took a breath. He hadn’t been in total control of himself when he decided to come here, something else had taken charge and finally woke him up so he didn’t really know what to expect from you by showing up here, but it was too late to go back now. And he didn’t want to go back. He followed you into the kitchen and leaned against the wall. “I needed to talk to you.”

You let out a harsh laugh. “After all this time, you suddenly just decided this?”

“I’ve been a bit busy.” He said defensively.

“Oh yes, I’ve heard all about that. A lot of victories being won in the Outer Rim and Coruscant is certainly grateful to have you back. Congratulations by the way, that was quite the rescue you pulled off.”

“Anakin did most of it, I was unconscious for the majority of it.” He mumbled sheepishly.

And it was that. That unassuming, gentle manner that began to break your wall down. “Still humble as ever I see.” You said, glancing at him, a hint of affection coming through.

“People seem to like it still.” He said, giving you a small smile.

Reminding yourself of why you’d left in the first place, you focused back on the dirty plates. “You needed to talk?”

“Explain is probably a better word. You need to know-”

“I get it, Kenobi. You don’t need to explain. I’ve gotten over it.” You fibbed, eyes never leaving the sink and the soapy suds you were creating.

“No, you don’t understand. I-”

“I don’t want to hear about how you need to live by the Jedi Code. I get it. I don’t need to hear the spiel all over again.” Your voice growing louder, more to hide your distress than anything else.

“That’s not what I’m here to explain!” Obi Wan said, his voice rising too.

“Then what? What could you possibly have to say to me?!”

“I-” He stumbled.

You sighed angrily and turned to face him. “You what? Come on, Kenobi. You hate me? You want me to leave? You wished you’d never met me? Just say it already!”

“I love you!”

That shut you up. You found yourself unable to speak for the second time this morning. You simply just turned your attention back to your washing up.

Obi Wan rubbed a hand over his face. “Dammit darling, this is not how I wanted to do this.”

“What were you expecting? That I’d leap into your arms and forget everything?” You said quietly.

“No. I know I screwed up. With your permission, I’d like to explain myself.” He took your silence as a sign to continue. “When I first met you, I thought you everything in a person that I’d want to avoid. You drove me insane. Mostly because I couldn’t figure you out. You were everything I had been trained not to be, yet you were one of the most incredible Jedi I’d ever met. Just listen.” He said quickly as he saw your jaw clench in protest.

“You were kind, smart, capable and you weren’t afraid to speak out when there was something you knew to be wrong. Take Felucia, had it just been Anakin and I on that mission, the Separatists would still have their base. I knew the order was a poor one, but I would’ve followed it anyway and went back with the information and then waited for orders to take it down but you, you just did it.” He paused and waited for you to say anything but when you didn’t, he carried on.

“So, what I couldn’t figure out was why I was so intent on fighting against you and why you were able to get under my skin so much or why you argued with me just as often. I figured those moments of peace between us were mere glitches. But then this bond was created between us, and I kissed you and it all fell into place and I panicked. A total sense of euphoria overtook me that night and it wasn’t something I was expecting, everything I was experiencing was the complete opposite of what I’d been told would happen if Jedi were to allow that sort of attachment in their life. I realised that I was fighting with myself and taking it out on you. The entire time. That kiss served to clarify everything I had been supressing, I was fighting you because of how right it felt to have you in my life. You must have noticed it. This bond we share was created for a reason, we connected in a way I hadn’t with anyone before. Even when we were arguing, we won battle after battle, we worked well together. I knew you as if you were a part of myself. That’s something I’d only ever experienced with Anakin and that took years to cultivate, with you it was a matter of months. I think you would say the same thing.” He paused to allow you to speak but you stayed quiet, but he’d noticed your actions had slowed down.

“But acting on those feelings went against everything I had been taught my whole life but what scared me was how willing I would be to give it all up. You unlocked a part of me I wasn’t ready to acknowledge so I did what I thought was best, what I’d been told to do, and I put the emotion away. I pushed you away and that was wrong, and I am so sorry. Letting you walk away from that temple was something I’ll regret for the rest of my life because…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “Because I am so in love with you. And I think I have been for quite a while.”

He waited for you to say something.

You didn’t. Your nails were embedded in your palms under the water as you struggled to keep your silence.

“Very well.” Obi Wan said sadly. “I’ll leave you alone now.” He left the room.

You tossed your sponge into the sink in frustration and braced your hands on the edges of it as you let out a deep breath. What were you doing? Why were you so insistent on pushing him away when that was the last thing you wanted? Everything he said was true. You dried your hands and darted out of the room, hoping you hadn’t left it too late. “Obi Wan, w-” The ‘wait’ died on your lips as you saw he hadn’t actually left yet, and your words cause him to hesitate by the door. Well, here goes nothing. “Lower it.” You said softly.

Obi Wan, still facing away from you, did what you asked, and he sensed your signature mix with his own and then he heard your voice in his head as you told him the three words he’d wanted to hear for so long. He whipped around to face you.

You nodded your head and brought down your own shield and hoped you would never have to use it again and you smiled as Obi Wan crossed the floor in three strides and took you in his arms and kissed you with a fierce passion you didn’t know he had. It felt different this time, the tether that had been holding you back from one another finally broke. This kiss had no lingering feelings of ‘what if’, this time, both of you were sure. You both groaned in relief at the feeling of it and Obi Wan kissed you with such strength that your spine curved and the only thing keeping you standing was the hold he had on you. You pulled away slightly and smiled against his lips. “How slowly were you walking to that door?”

“Master Yoda would’ve beaten me in a race.” Obi Wan said with a grin before he traced his lips down your neck. “Say it again.” He murmured against your skin.

Threading your fingers in his hair and sighing in pleasure at his actions, not minding the way his beard scratched your skin, you did as he asked. “I love you.” You said aloud, pulling him back up to kiss you. “I love you.” You said again as he kissed the other side of your neck and backed you up against the wall, his lips never leaving your skin.

“I love you too.” He let you shrug off his robe and he pushed the shoulders of your own robe down and his lips tracked the path of scars life had given you. He started with the puckered one on your shoulder before moving across the jagged line on your collarbone. He recalled Ventress’ words and he knew nothing would stop him from loving you the way he did. He planned to worship you for as long as he lived. Sensing your impatience however, he wrapped his hands around the backs of your thighs and lifted you up.

It wasn’t that you weren’t enjoying his actions, you were just eager for them to progress and as he lifted you up, you wrapped your legs around him and continued to kiss him. Bedroom.

Obi Wan didn’t need to be told twice. He carried you through to your room.

It was a frantic fumble to shed one another of your clothes since neither one of you wanted to part from the other. Once you both had successfully managed this, Obi Wan gently laid you down on the bed. He moved on top of you but just before he brought his lips to yours, he asked, How worried do I need to be about the gentleman you were pushing out the door this morning?

Well, that depends on your performance here, General Kenobi. You replied, a sly smile on your lips as you pulled him towards you. You didn’t miss the way his breath hitched slightly or the way his signature sparked with heightened interest. You made a mental note of that.

Later. Obi Wan said as he kissed the side of your neck, he knew now he wouldn’t be able to really hide things like that from you now, but he wasn’t wanting to explore that part of him yet. His focus was on you.

You let out a soft groan as he left his mark on you. You rolled your hips and kissed behind his ear before crooning, “But what if I want to now?”

Obi Wan couldn’t stifle the moan that left his mouth. He faltered in what he was doing and looked into your eyes and saw the devilish smile on your face and the seductive glint in your eyes. “You’re going- you’re- you’re going to make this difficult.” He said distractedly as you continued to push up against him.

“What? Can’t handle a bit of teasing, Kenobi?” You purred as you gently bit his lip before kissing him again and you threaded your fingers in his hair and tugged so as to bring him even closer. Your hand then drifted down his body and you smirked against his lips as you noticed the way his grip on the sheets of your bed tightened.

Obi Wan couldn’t help the satisfied moan that left his mouth and he let himself get lost in your touch for the moment but as he felt your hand leave him and both of them then go to his chest, he was able to remain strong enough to stop you from changing positions. He chuckled as he saw the frown on your face before he kissed you and brought your hands up and placed them on your bed frame. You’d had your fun; it was his turn now. Keep them there.

You gripped the metal frame before you broke away from the kiss for air. “What are you- oh.” You moaned as Obi Wan left another mark on your collarbone before his hand skimmed down your body. Chuckling, Obi Wan kissed you deeply and kept his hand where it was before he kissed his way down the same path his hand had taken.

Your breaths came out in short pants as his fingers continued to move but his mouth ghosted over where you wanted him most and instead left soft kisses to the insides of your thighs. Your hold on the frame tightened and you couldn’t stop the whine that left your mouth.

Obi Wan smirked as he glanced up at you. “What? Can’t handle a bit of teasing, darling?”

If you weren’t so annoyingly desperate, you would’ve thought of a fun way to wipe that smug smile off his face, but you just needed him now. “Kenobi, if you don’t- fuck!” You threw your head back against the pillow as he finally gave you what you wanted. The combination of his mouth and fingers brought you to the edge much faster than you’d anticipated.

Obi Wan worked you through it, not stopping until he felt your hands in his hair gently pulling him back up. I didn’t say you could move them yet. He taunted as he moved some strands of hair out your face.

I don’t fucking care. You hadn’t really caught your breath back yet, but you couldn’t help yourself. You grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him hungrily again and applied pressure to his chest.

This time, he allowed you to push him off you and straddle him.

How long have we got? You asked as you kissed your way down his chest, taking your time as you paid close attention to his own battle-weary body, kissing each nick and scar as you continued to go lower.

Ah yes, reality. The concept seemed so far away right now. He groaned at your touch; his brain unable to form a complete sentence with what you were doing right now. Long enough. That was all he could manage, though he knew that time with you would never be long enough.

--

“Did you know I tried to leave?” You asked quietly as you laid your head on his chest. “I thought leaving Coruscant would make things easier but every time I got in line for a ship, I thought of you, and I felt you and I couldn’t do it and even though it drove me crazy, the holonet and this thing the Force created were the only two ways I knew you were still alive, so I stayed. I didn’t have it in me to go.”

Obi Wan continued to paint little patterns on your shoulder with his fingertips, his attentions alternating between there and the scar that Grievous had given you. “It wouldn’t have mattered if you’d left; I’d have found you. You could go to the furthest planet in the galaxy and live in the middle of nowhere and I’d still find my way back to you. This bond between us, it’s not something that can be broken, you’re a part of me now and you always will be, darling. Sorry, old habit.” He mumbled as he kissed the top of your head.

“Hmm, I quite like it actually.” You replied, angling your head up to kiss him. “I think that was why I fought you on it so much.”

Obi Wan let out a soft laugh before he brought his lips to yours. After a few moments, he broke away and pushed some hair from your face. “I’m going to leave the Jedi Order.”

Your eyes widened and you sat up so you could face him properly. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Obi Wan, I’m not asking you to do that. I understand what this means for us. I can deal with the secrecy. You can’t just-”

“I know you’re not asking me, darling. This is what I want. I waited once before for someone to ask me and I’m not making that mistake with you. After this blasted war is done, I’ll leave. We just have to live in secret until then, but we can’t live our lives like that, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Dooku is dead, all that remains of the Separatists is Grievous. Once we kill him, it’s over.”

One look in his eyes told you that he was firm in his decision. “If you’re sure…”

“I’m certain. I love you and I cannot remain a part of something that would forbid that for reasons that have brought me nothing but happiness.”

You moved so that you were straddling his lap once more and his hands fell to your hips. “Thank you.” You whispered, kissing his lips softly. It soon turned into something more and you began to subtly grind your hips against him, an act he mirrored and one that left both of you softly groaning into one another’s mouths. Just as you felt Obi Wan get ready to move you onto your back, you heard the dreaded sound of his communicator beeping.

Obi Wan somehow found the strength to tear himself away from you. “I have to go.” But he still couldn’t help but plant light kisses up and down your neck.

You closed your eyes and let him continue for a few moments before you let out a sigh. “I know.” You conceded rather unhappily, moving away from him. You tossed your head back against your pillow with a frustrated huff before you sat up on your elbows and watched as he put his Jedi robes back on and then a rather wicked idea popped into your head. You slipped a hand between your legs and let out a soft whimper.

Obi Wan turned sharply to the sound of your happy sigh and his mouth went dry as he saw what you were doing. The strength he’d found to leave you was now evaporating swiftly so he had to act fast. He walked over towards you. “Not- shit-.” He broke off with a groan as he watched you and he could barely get any words out. He took a deep breath and forced himself to speak. “Not without me.” He rasped, not concealing the utterly wrecked nature of his voice as he grabbed your wrist.

You smirked and guided his hand so that it brought your own to your mouth and sucked whilst sending a not-so-subtle reminder to him of what your mouth was capable of doing to him.

Obi Wan just about choked. Shit shit shit shit.

You hummed out a laugh as you heard that.

“Fuck, darling. Please. I’m only human.” Obi Wan begged, his voice hoarse as he watched you. His communicator beeped again but he was only paying attention to you now.

“Hmm still tastes like you.” You said, your voice sultry as you looked up at him. “You sure you don’t want a taste?” You spread your legs wider and lightly traced up and down his thigh.

Obi Wan was sure his brain had short circuited. He swallowed thickly but couldn’t find the ability to speak. His communicator continued to beep incessantly but he was getting to the point where he was fully prepared to fling it against the wall. Holding onto the last thread of logic he had, he found his voice once more, but he scarcely recognised it. “Darling… please. Just wait a little longer. Please.”

He sounded so completely undone and desperate that you knew it wouldn’t take much now to convince him to stay but you couldn’t risk him being found out so soon. You took pity on the man and released him. “Well, when are-”

“After your shift.” He answered, probably too quickly for there to be any chance of him holding onto any slice of dignity but he simply did not care. He planned on memorising every inch of your skin and while this morning had certainly started that process, he knew he wasn’t close to being done.

You tilted your head at him and laughed. “I knew I wasn’t crazy. You were there two nights ago.”

“I had to see you. I’d been to that diner every day before I got sent into the Outer Rim, but I’d never gone in until that night. I nearly stepped in with that man, but you seemed to have it handled.”

“He’s an ass but he’s harmless.”

“And do I need to be worried?” He said with a teasing lilt to his voice.

You smirked. “Come back tonight and I’ll let you know. We have some things that need exploring.”

Obi Wan chuckled. “Until tonight then.” He kissed your forehead but as he went to turn away you grabbed his wrist and hauled him back towards you.

This kiss was deep and intense, and you think your body’s subconscious attempt to get him to stay a bit longer. You only let him go once your lungs insisted that they have oxygen.

“Tonight, can’t come fast enough.” Obi Wan panted, keeping his forehead pressed against yours.

“You better go before I trap you here.” You said as you caught your breath.

“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.”

You laughed and pushed his chest. “Get outta here, Kenobi.”

“Goodbye darling. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You called after him and only when you heard the door shut did you fall back against your pillows and let out a deep sigh. You would never get tired of saying that.

After a few minutes, you stood up- on rather shaky legs- and walked into your small living space and that was when you noticed them. Your breath caught in your throat as you walked over your living room table and laying there, on a beige cloth, was your lightsaber and your master’s lightsaber. You grinned to yourself as you picked them up. You really loved that man. And you couldn’t wait until this war was over, after that, everything would be just right.

Next Chapter>

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[angelltheninth]

Obi-Wan Kenobi Reacting to You Being Pregnant

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

Tags: fluff, established relationship, kissing, post Revenge of the Sith, pregnant Reader

A/N: Happy Obi-Wan premiere day everyone!

It definitely comes a surprise to him, even with the Force he didn't sense it until you told him

He was worried at first, your kid would most likely be Force sensitive and strong in the Force and therefore be a target for the Empire and the Inquisitors

As a Jedi he never thought he'd be a father, it was never part of the path he wanted to take due to him being a Knight

But that was before, he was no longer a Knight, a soldier, he was just Obi-Wan to you, the man you fell in love with and married

Starts to take even more precautions and implementing better security systems

He meditates on the news a lot

It's not that he's not excited to be a father, he is, he thinks it's wonderful that the two of you created a little life together, he's just worried about the safety of you and the baby

He's no doctor and he's not completely sure what to expect with your pregnancy so he reads up on as much as he can, although there's not much available on Force sensitive pregnancies other than a few scrolls with bits of knowledge he has from the Temple

Over the course of your pregnancy he does his best to buy and cook everything you're craving to eat no matter how bizarre the food or the food combo is

[leahkenobi]

now that i have you

obi-wan x fem!reader

word count: 1.9k

summary: while on a journey across tatooine, you heard screams in the middle of the night. you never expected it to be him who was screaming.

warnings: nightmares, screaming, crying, flashbacks to anakin, exhaustion, i think that’s all! let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: hey everyone! i know it’s been like forever since i’ve posted, but i wrote this little number. i promise i have ideas that i’m working on! more fics will be coming soon for new characters as well. if you would like to be added to an obi-wan or permanent tag list, let me know! and if you have any requests, i would be happy to write them for obi-wan, or any other character i have written for in the past. anyways, i hope you enjoy!!

a/n 2: thanks @oliviajdjarin for encouraging and supporting me i love you!

gif credit to @hayden-christensen !! awesome work!!

the temperatures during the nights on tatooine were unbearable. throughout the day, you would boil in the scorching heat of the desert, but at night, you would freeze half to death.

it had been months since you had slept in a bed. months since you had any semblance of a home, or even a friend. your nights were spent roaming the dune sea, half asleep on the back of your eopie and trying to remember where it all went wrong.

it was dangerous to let your mind wander to such a dark place. your sleep deprived mind would recall everything from the last years of your life, starting from your earliest memory at the temple with your master, to the last one you had before your life had changed forever.

————————————

having felt his growing discontent, you decided to leave your quarters and try to find obi-wan yourself. your heart raced as you swiftly walked the halls, attempting to feel for him, but coming up empty every time.

eventually, you found him. his expression was haunted as he rewatched the recording over and over again. you approached him, trying to get a better look at what it was he was seeing.

when you saw it, you almost burst into tears. anakin. sweet, loving anakin. the boy you had helped obi-wan raise. the boy who came to you, not his master, when he realized his feelings for padme and needed advice. the boy who came to you when he needed help mentoring ahsoka.

you couldn’t understand what you had seen. all you knew was that anything you felt, obi-wan was feeling multiplied by a thousand. because that was his boy. the jedi were not supposed to have attachments, of course, but that never stopped obi wan from loving anakin as fiercely as a father would.

you stepped closer to obi-wan, feeling for him. all you sensed was anguish and an overwhelming sadness. a hint of failure and blame was mixed in as well.

you wrapped your arms around your best friend’s neck, hoping you could provide some kind of comfort to him after he had seen that atrocity. hoping that he would hug you back and you could feel the comfort as well.

“he’s… he’s gone,” obi-wan muttered out. you could feel his erratic breathing against your neck.

“i know,” you whispered back, stroking his head. you had no other way to help him. what could you even say to him that could make this better at all?

he pulled out of the hug, making a decision quickly about what he had to do next.

“i must go,” he said to you, his eyes staring fiercely into your own.

“i’m coming with you,” you said. you couldn’t see him leave, couldn’t let him walk into danger without you. he was… special to you. a friend, a colleague, sure. but always more. a little closer than a friend should be. more bonded than any other colleague could ever be.

“no you are leaving,” he said, “you are fleeing the planet. immediately. you have not a moment to lose. i’ll find you after, i promise.”

“but obi-wan-“

“do not fight me on this, y/n. i cannot lose you too,” he said sternly.

you watched as obi-wan, your closest… friend… left, not knowing what his plans were, or if he would return.

————————————

sleep was begging to take over. you couldn’t take this state of half lucidity, couldn’t stand to think about your obi wan leaving and never coming back. how he never fulfilled his promise.

you never did find out what happened to him. many claimed he was dead, others said he survived but had gone mad. you could never make peace with the knowledge he could be dead, but it’s not like if he lived you would be much better off. he would be a completely different man.

as your eyes were just starting to seal with sleep, and your body relaxed atop the eopie, you heard a scream.

quiet.

barely there.

but enough to cause your ears to prick up and stop you from reaching a resting state.

you thought maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, maybe you were finally going crazy.

but as your eopie traveled further west, you heard the noise again, only it was louder.

you tried to pretend it wasn’t there, that it wasn’t directly inhibiting the sleep you so desperately craved, but you couldn’t.

the scream only grew louder as you drew closer to the cave on your left.

you couldn’t ignore it anymore, and the more you listened and heard how pained it was, you suddenly didn’t want to. whatever was screaming was struggling, in danger and hurting. as much as you had put your years as a jedi behind you and attempted to move forward, the compassion you held for life could never leave you.

though slumber was knocking at your door, you couldn’t ignore the screaming anymore as you approached, couldn’t ignore the desperate need to help whoever it was.

you hopped off your eopie and gave her a pat. you pulled the hood of your robe over your face and rested your hand on the hilt of your lightsaber, prepared to fight off whatever was causing the poor person to scream in such agony.

————————————

you walked slowly into the dimly lit cave, cautious of your every step. the pained sounds felt as though they were filling all the space around you.

when you turned the corner to follow where the sound was coming from, you were shocked that there was no beast attacking the thrashing form. nothing was there ripping into the persons flesh as you expected there to be.

you stepped closer, and closer.

when you were close enough to the form to get a look at the face, his face, your heart stopped.

you don’t remember falling to the floor, but there you were, knees in the dirt and leaning against the hard mattress, desperately reaching out to him.

“obi-wan,” you sobbed.

he couldn’t hear you over the sound of his own screaming. his past haunted him, even in the solace that sleep was supposed to be.

you reached your hand out, cupping his cheek, rubbing your thumb against his scruffy beard.

“obi-wan, please,” you begged, the tears streaming down you face freely.

“wake up,” you said, “we weren’t supposed to meet like this again.”

you begged him to wake, not being able to take the sounds of his screams.

sure, you would have been sorry to see any person in so much pain, but the fact that the person was obi-wan was a saber through your heart.

you continued to run your hands down his face, leaning completely over him.

and finally, finally, he woke, shooting straight upright.

his breathing was labored, but he was up, he was awake.

he looked around, disoriented as ever, but sensing something there with him.

and his eyes landed on you.

he swore he was still dreaming.

he knew this nightmare, he had seen it often. you before him, happy and healthy as ever, and then suddenly not. suddenly, you were in the clutches of vader’s arms. the monster he had created killing the person he loved above all.

he reached out to you at the end of his bed to prove to himself that you weren’t there, that he couldn’t actually feel you. but when he reached, he was met with solid flesh and wet tear tracks.

“y/n…?” he whispered your name like a question.

“i’m here obi-wan,” you promised, your voice cracking.

“y/n…” obi-wan said again, as if trying to register the fact of your presence.

before you could spare him another second, to process, you sprang into his arms.

“obi-wan,” you cried, his name flowing from your mouth like a chant, a praise, a prayer of thanksgiving to any god or force out there that brought you back to him.

you felt his hair, as thick and course as ever. you felt his beard against the side of your face that was buried in his neck, grounding you.

all the while, obi-wan was reeling with you being in front of him. his arms were slackened, still completely in shock.

but then, he felt your head burrowing further into his neck, like you couldn’t get close enough to him.

and he snapped.

“y/n,” he said, this time a tone of sureness came over him.

he pulled you closer, desperately moving your body. he placed his head into your neck, seeking your comfort.

“y/n, y/n, y/n,” obi-wan cried, and you could feel your undershirt soaking with his tears.

you haven’t a clue how long you just sat there in his arms, sobbing to him while he cried into you as well.

you do know, however, that when you finally could breathe again, you didn’t want to ever be separated from him.

“obi-wan..,” you said in a quiet tone.

“i’m still here,” he said, a whisper in your ear.

“how?” you asked him, feeling your eyes start to well.

“i don’t know, y/n. i really don’t, but i know there is a reason,” he said, and you thought you knew where his mind may be going, that maybe this was your second chance.

before you could let your mind wander to those possibilities, you said, “i’m so sorry to hear about anakin, obi-wan. i’m so, so sorry.”

“thank you,” he said, but didn’t elaborate any more than that.

“was it him? was he the reason you were screaming in your dreams?” you asked, starting to regret it the second it came out of your mouth. the last thing you wanted to do was make obi-wan uncomfortable.

“i…,” he struggled to get the words out, “yes.”

the silence after he admitted that was deafening. you didn’t know what to say. you couldn’t say sorry again, could you? even if you meant it? he probably didn’t want your apologies.

while your mind swarmed with thoughts, with potential responses, obi-wan said, “it’s alright, y/n. the memories will fade eventually. and now that i have you… i… my mind will be all the clearer.”

you smiled at that, knowing that you could help him at all.

“i’m not leaving you again, obi-wan. it won’t happen,” you told him, giving him the reassurance.

he paused a moment, as if he was debating on letting his next words leave his mouth.

“i never wanted you to leave in the first place,” he said in a hushed tone.

you felt a bolt of shock run through you, not having expected him to say that. your feelings for obi-wan had always been complicated, but you had never thought he would reciprocate it.

“w-what?” you asked, curious to know what he meant, if he meant it the way you hated he had.

“i never wanted to send you away, but i had to. i couldn’t take the risk of him hurting you because… because… i care for you. so much,” he said, with such desperation, such love, in his voice, that you wanted to crumble.

“i haven’t gone a day without thinking of you, really. i don’t know if i ever will,” he said honestly.

“obi-wan,” you said, a sad smile on your face.

“don’t make me go through that again, please. always stay by me, please, y/n,” he begged, his eyes holding yours and beginning to fill with tears.

“i will always stay by you,” you responded back.

and so you did.

taglist:

@oliviajdjarin

[iamthemain-character]

We Might Just Get Away With This 

Hidden feelings do nothing but build tension, and when Y/n is almost lost, Obi-wan finds that his passion can no longer be contained.

obi-wan kenobi x jedi! reader 

she/her pronouns 

TW: mentions of violence, choking, secret relationship, anxious feelings, the tiniest bit of angst, it gets a little spicy but there’s no smut. 

A/N: This is set between AOTC and ROTS. Also! I watched the first two episodes of Kenobi and I am simping respectfully

star wars masterlist

Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments, but after a particularly tense encounter, two jedi aren’t sure they can continue to uphold the code. 

———————————————————————

It was stupid, and quite possibly the worst thing that Y/n ever could’ve done. 

She was a jedi, and so was he; Jedi don’t fall in love. 

Nevertheless, here she was, tossing and turning in her bed over the man who had singlehandedly claimed her heart. It wasn’t a recent development, Y/n had been growing attached to Obi-wan since they were padawans, but for a long time she had denied her feelings over and over again. Recently, however, it had been becoming more and more difficult. 

It was entirely Y/n’s fault really; Obi-wan was not a flirtatious man, and he was respectful almost to a fault. But whenever he was close, or he made contact with Y/n, or even when he just looked at her, it made her heart race. It wasn’t like Y/n could avoid him (though she wouldn’t really want to) because the Jedi assigned the two of them on every single mission together. Even when they were at the temple, Obi-wan and Y/n meditated together, trained together, sat next to the other on the council, and even ate together. To the entire world, the two were the best of friends, but every moment Y/n felt herself falling deeper and deeper into love with Obi-wan. 

It was fruitless and futile; Kenobi was practically the poster child of the Jedi having adopted next to none of his late master’s rebellious ways. He was a perfect jedi, acting in accordance with the code and doing his best to help his unruly padawan and friend do the same. Sometimes Y/n found herself envying Anakin and Padme, who despite being very prominent people, were happily married and carrying on their secret relationship. Y/n’s lips were sealed, but sometimes she wanted to say to Obi-wan, “If they can do it, why can’t we?” But Obi-wan was the Sun and Anakin was the moon, and there was no way the former would ever do something so completely out of line and crazy.

Despite her ever growing affections, Y/n had managed to keep them relatively under control; until today. Obi-wan and Y/n had been assigned to go to a Republic planet and investigate rumors of Sith terrorizing the locals. Everything seemed routine and nothing out of order, and there appeared to be no signs of actual Sith. Just as the pair were returning to their ship, however, they were ambushed. 

Blaster fire hit the door as Y/n reached for the panel, and immediately she turned in sync with Obi-wan as they ignited their lightsabers. Blocking the blasts, Y/n took to the right side of the group, throwing the main firer against a nearby tree. After taking care of the first couple of attackers, the rest of the group ran off, clearly seeing that attacking a jedi was not as easy as they had thought. Y/n was about to see if Obi-wan needed help, when suddenly a harsh strike to her wrist made Y/n drop her lightsaber. Turning quickly, Y/n didn’t have time to react as a large hand grabbed her neck and squeezed. Y/n gasped, the pressuring crushing her windpipe and making it hard to breathe; terrified and not thinking clearly, her hands clawed at her attacker, desperate to breathe again. 

A gasp escaped the attacker as a lightsaber blade went through his sternum, the blue light reflecting on his contorted face. With a push, Y/n ripped his hands from off her neck, gasping to fill her lungs with air as she watched him fall to the ground. Looking to her savior,  Y/n saw Obi-wan; his blue eyes were dark, and there was an indiscernible look that Y/n had never seen in her friend before. 

“Are you alright?” Obi-wan’s voice was low as he stepped close to Y/n, and if she hadn’t been so close to dying she might’ve swooned. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Swallowing hard, Y/n froze as Obi-wan’s hands reached out to her. His fingers softly moved along her neck, gently brushing over where bruises would surely eventually form. He was so close that Y/n could see every detail;  his forehead was furrowed in concentration, and there was a faint scar above his eyebrow, evidence from a previous battle. Y/n was sure Obi-wan could hear her heart beating loudly inside her chest; despite the pain in her throat, she found herself longing to succumb to Obi-wan’s touch. The energy between their two bodies was like lightning, and the tension was palpable in the air. 

Then suddenly, Obi-wan dropped his hands and turned around, walking into the ship. Y/n’s chest rose and fell, a rollercoaster of emotions rushing over her. Trying to clear her mind, Y/n retrieved her lightsaber and followed after Obi-wan. The two said nothing during the entire journey back, and Obi-wan had refused to look at Y/n during their debriefing. He had proceeded to make himself scarce for the rest of the day, and now Y/n found herself pining over Obi-wan as she sat alone in the darkened glow of her nighttime lamp. 

A soft knock on the door interrupted Y/n’s racing train of thoughts, and it was so quiet that she thought she had imagined it. Yet there it was again, so very gentle but still there. Getting up, Y/n opened the door, only for it to reveal a very disheveled Obi-wan. His hair was out of place, and he was dressed in loose black pants and a v-neck shirt. Somehow Obi-wan managed to look as gorgeous as ever, but Y/n tried to remain focused on why he was at her room in the middle of the night. Y/n stepped to the side to allow Obi-wan to enter the room. He cautiously entered, walking straight back until he reached the window. Y/n shut the door behind him, and again the tension from earlier returned. Y/n remained quiet, waiting for her late-night visitor to say something. 

Obi-wan turned, and once again Y/n saw that dark look in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, only to close it again. Taking a deep breath in, Obi-wan was about to say something, only for him to was again remain silent. Looking at the ground, he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“How are you feeling?” 

That was it, the most basic question in the galaxy. Deciding to also ignore whatever the heck was going on, Y/n went with the casual conversation. “A little sore, but I’m alive so I can’t complain.” Nervously she laughed, trying to lighten the conversation. 

Obi-wan nodded, but is was obvious his mind wasn’t really there. 

“Is everything al-” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Y/n was taken aback by the abrupt apology. “Excuse me?”

Anxiously Obi-wan ran a hand through his hair. “I should’ve been there, I should have been more prepared, none of this should’ve happened.” 

“Hey hey hey, stop that.” Y/n walked closer to the distressed man and placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them as she tried to sooth him. “There was nothing more you could’ve done, it was a surprise for both of us. What matters is we made it out okay.” 

“But you’re not okay, your neck-” 

“Like I said, I’m still alive; and in this line of work, that's more than I can ask for. You saved me, and I thank you for that.” 

“He touched you.” 

Y/n shook her head, trying to understand. “What?”

Obi-wan stepped forward, his body so close that Y/n could feel the heat radiating off of it. “No one is allowed to touch you.”

Obi-wan felt like he was loosing it, barely able to concentrate when Y/n was so close. He internally struggled, trying hard to keep his gaze on her eyes when her top’s strap was falling off her shoulder and the neckline followed the curve of her breasts. Obi-wan knew he had no right, but everything about Y/n drove him crazy. She was never not the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, and every day he had slowly fallen more and more in love with her. Obi-wan had felt absolutely feral when he saw that man’s hands around Y/n’s neck, almost taking away the most precious thing to Obi-wan. It was wrong, oh it was so wrong, but after today Obi-wan didn’t care. 

“Do you know how much I have suffered because of you?” 

Y/n blinked rapidly, trying to understand what Obi-wan was saying. “I have never meant to caused you pain, Obi-wan. You are my dearest friend and-” 

“Don’t say that.” Obi-wan’s chest rose and fell rapidly, and he looked positively heartbroken. “It has never been your fault, it’s me, I have behaved atrociously, oh maker.” Running a hand over his face, Obi-wan desperately tried to compose himself. He knew he wasn’t saying it right, he knew he was making a mess of things, but he found himself at a loss for words. 

When his gaze returned to Y/n’s, Obi-wan found nothing but concern and adoration in her eyes. Gather his courage, he softly spoke in a rush. “It is I who should be apologizing. You have given me nothing but the greatest of friendships, and I have allowed my personal feelings to overcome logic. I have not only compromised myself, but also you, especially here tonight. For too long I have tried to contain my emotions, to snuff them out, but instead they have consumed every part of me. When I realized how close I was to losing you today, I became acutely aware of the fact that I could be stuck with my silence forevermore. It is deeply unfair, but I ask for your patience as I unburden myself of these innermost feelings. I expect no return, but they must be put out in the open or else I fear I shall die from them.” 

Anxiously Obi-wan searched Y/n’s face for any sign of discomfort or repulsion, but she seemed almost welcoming to his intentions. Taking this as a sign to continue, Obi-wan proceeded with his speech.

“For as long as I can remember Y/n, you have been my greatest friend; somewhere along the way, however, my feelings for you shifted from platonic to romantic. Despite my best intentions, I continue to fall in love with you every day. You are absolutely perfect in my eyes, and indeed you are the most brilliant, intelligent, caring, and dare I say beautiful person I have ever met. There is no where that feels more like home than you, and I do not think all the spice users in the galaxy could be more addicted than I am to you. I would give up the sun for your laughter and my own life for your happiness. Every moment I spend with you is more incredible than the last, and every day I must be apart from you is complete agony. You are the object of all my desires and the person I wish to devote myself completely to. Our code would have me cut you out of my life, but never before have I felt more right than by your side. If you said the word, I would leave the order right now and never look back.”

Here Obi-wan took a deep breath, overcome with the strength of his own feelings. “If any of my words or affections have been offensive to you, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.  If my feelings have repulsed you, say the word and I will leave you at once, and never again will I discomfort you as I have tonight. I only ask that you put me out of my agony and make your own feelings clear now.” 

While Y/n had remained silent during the entirety of Obi-wan’s speech, inside she felt her heart swell and her body flood with joy. The very affections that he was now professing was the same that Y/n had harbored for so long. 

With tears threatening to spill over, Y/n smiled at Obi-wan. “I have loved you from the very first day Obi-wan, and I do not think I could ever stop loving you.” 

A smile grew on Obi-wan’s face, and he practically beamed with joy. Taking Y/n in his arms, he spun her around and around until they were both laughing. Setting her back down, he kept his arms around her waist and just took her face in. Y/n slid her hands up from Obi-wan’s neck to his cheeks, holding his face between her palms. Unsure of who leaned in first, their lips connected, and immediately sparks ignited within their souls. Softly and gently they kissed, neither having had this contact with another person before. Carefully they explored the sensation, enjoying the feeling of their lips touching.

 Obi-wan pulled away, looking over Y/n to see if this was okay. Gently she brushed his nose with her’s, letting him know that she was fine with the direction this was taking. 

Suddenly Obi-wan’s hands slid down from Y/n’s waist to her thighs, and he pulled at them. Following his direction, Y/n jumped and wrapped her legs around Obi-wan’s torso, her arms wrapping around his neck. Once again Obi-wan pressed his lips to Y/n’s, this time more assured and confident in his actions. This time, there was no hesitation or caution; over and over Obi-wan kissed Y/n, this time their mouths moving together in tandem. Caught up in the sensation, Obi-wan walked forward until Y/n’s back hit the wall. She gasped at the contact, but she quickly reconnected her lips to Obi-wan’s. 

His fingers dug into Y/n’s thighs, gripping onto the them tightly without hurting her. She was wearing sleep shorts, and Obi-wan enjoyed feeling the texture of her skin as his fingers splayed over her thighs. His touch sent goosebumps along Y/n’s skin, the sensation of the skin to skin contact thrilling her. 

Obi-wan’s lips left Y/n’s, moving to press kisses all over her face; first her cheek, then brushing along her nose, to her eye, to the corner of her mouth, and then Obi-wan trailed his lips along Y/n’s jaw, pressing kisses all the way down to her chin and then up the other side. Y/n’s back arched at the contact, her head tilting back to give easier access.

For a moment Obi-wan pulled away, his lidded eyes looking over the woman he loved. Gently he guided her legs back to the ground, and he let her go with a smirk. As he backed away, Y/n felt a little bit of a fire and boldness within her chest; moving towards him, she pressed her palm against Obi-wan’s chest and gave him a gentle push. The back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, buckling and forcing him to sit. Climbing on top of him, Y/n straddled his hips as it was her turn to tease him. Carefully she hovered her lips over his own, so close yet not quite touching. Obi-wan made a noise and tried to claim her lips, but Y/n moved back just in time. She bit her bottom lip, trying to contain the smile that was growing. 

Y/n softly squealed as she felt Obi-wan grab onto her hips, digging his fingers into the soft skin as he pulled her impossibly closer. Her cry was cut short as he pressed his lips to hers; sighing deeply, the two relaxed into the touch, enjoying having the other so close. 

Suddenly Obi-wan fell backwards, pulling Y/n down with him. Laughing, she curled up into his side, head resting on his chest. Obi-wan’s fingers ran over her hip, tracing invisible patterns on the cloth covering them. Y/n’s hand clutched onto his shirt, feeling the fabric beneath her touch. 

“I’ve just made your life a whole lot harder you know.” 

Rolling her eyes, Y/n huffed as she propped up onto her elbow. “My life was hard enough trying to not be in love with you, I hardly think keeping a secret relationship with you will be any harder.” 

Obi-wan smiled at Y/n’s declaration, but still his eyebrows pulled together in concern. “We interact with some powerful jedi every day, if they sense any indication of our affections, we could be in some serious trouble.” 

“Then we’ll figure it out together. My life has been infinitely better since knowing you, and I can only imagine it will get better now that I get to love you too.”

Obi-wan’s smile grew as he felt his beloved’s lips press a kiss to his bearded cheek, and he sighed in contentment as he allowed himself to relax into her mattress. “If Anakin ever finds out about us, I’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“About that......how do you feel about double dates?” 

“WHAT-”

[a-dorin]

the heat of the morning

first, you sense the light.

intense, blistering rays of it, flooding your vision as you blearily nestle your way into his frame, letting out a content sigh as a hand trails lazily along your back.

a sweet and gentle touch, thumb tracing circles as it travels.

“it’s morning, love.”

“and what does that have to do with me?”

he tuts, callused fingers squeezing soft skin, “it’s time for us to get out of this stuffy cot and get along with our day.”

next, came the heat.

thick, blazing waves of it as the suns hung high in the horizon, promising of nothing but another scorching day. as you come to, the haziness of slumber wearing off, you sense the stickiness.

a sheen of sweat is beginning to coat your body, but stars, mornings like this were a rarity. typically, he was an early riser.

so why not savor this moment next to your lover?

“but ben,” a protest drips from your lips, “a few more minutes, please.”

“as much as i would to lay here with you for a few more minutes,” ben presses kisses along your temple, just above your brow, “it’s only going to be a matter of time before we’re both utterly miserable.”

“mmm,” you hum, wrinkling your nose, “i say just two more minutes.”

“what am i going to do with you?” ben tsks, yet pulls you closer, completely disregarding that the temperature is spiking by the second.

“i think the best option i can give you is to keep me around,” a giggle bubbles up in your throat as the hairs of ben’s beard tickle your cheek.

his mouth hovers by your ear, his voice brimmed with exhaustion, raspy and low, “hmmm, i do quite like that idea.”

cupping his cheek, you wriggle, rolling on your side so that your faces meet, gazes interlocking, “our two minutes is almost up.”

leaning in, ben’s nose brushes against yours, the corners of his lips curling into a smirk.

“it must be the heat of the morning, or the radiance of your beauty, but i believe our two minutes are only getting started.”

[ithebookhoarder]

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back (Obi-Wan x Reader): Part 2

Summary: After Obi-wan’s accident, and Anakin’s brutal words, you left the Jedi Temple to try and let you both move on. However, you soon realise that forgetting your fellow Jedi is harder than you thought...

Part 1 - Part 2

A/N: Well, it’s been a hot minute since I wrote the first part of this and I know people were keen for a follow-up but I always struggled to get the words out. However, I blame the new Kenobi series for utterly re-igniting the flame I have for this character and this came out - finally! That and the fact the third episode has RUINED me today... 

Warnings: Angst, mention of injury, implied smut / start of smut

Masterlist:

It had been two weeks since the night you’d left - or, run away, if you were being more accurate. 

In fact, despite remaining with Padmé at the embassy for the duration of her stay, you couldn’t help but feel like you were still running. Every time you ignored a message, or a call, or even the very mention of anything to do with Obi-wan Kenobi you felt your heart ache worsen. 

Just because leaving was the right thing didn’t make it the easy thing. 

You couldn’t just magically forget the past fifteen years or so, no matter how much you wanted to. Maybe then you could find some kind of peace. 

Maybe then you wouldn’t be up all night imaging the pain and confusion he must have been feeling, waking up and finding out that he had saved your life, only for you to have left and ended things without a word to his face.

Yeah. You pretty much hated yourself too at this point. 

You could only hope it got easier with time. 

Until then, however, you were content to bury yourself in your work and the reason you were actually here on this planet - to watch over the woman sat next to you, strapping herself into your ship as you prepared to escort her to the latest in a long line of meetings. 

How Padmé could do it day after day, never complaining or showing her exhaustion publicly, was beyond you. In private, though, it was a whole other story. In fact, her tales about some of the long and dreary meetings she’d been stuck in were the highlight of your evenings. Last night had been particularly amusing, with Padmé sharing how one senator had actually fallen asleep during the ten minute rant another had given at the proposal of increasing taxes in the area. 

You’d snorted into your tea, trying and failing not to picture it. It was the kind of thing you’d have normally passed on to Obi-wan. For, despite his sometimes sensible exterior, he had a sense of humour like yours and irritating senators, in particular, always made him chuckle. 

You’d reached for your comms device, force of habit taking over as you went to message him. However, the sight of the numerous unopened messages already waiting for you on the screen were enough of a reminder for you to put it down. 

The soft sigh that had escaped your lips didn’t go unnoticed by Padmé, but she hadn’t said a word. Not until now, anyway.    

“You know Anakin called earlier.”

You blinked, tensing for just a moment as you focused on programming your flight plan into the ship’s mainframe. “Oh?”

“Yes. He wanted to know how we were getting along.” Padmé smiled. “Don’t worry, I said we were making progress even if things have been running a bit behind schedule since that storm the other day. He also said Obi-wan is back on his feet again… just, you know, in case you were wondering.” 

You paused. You could sense the question in her tone, as if she could see straight through you and the nonchalant way you nodded. “Well… good. I’m glad to hear it.” 

“He asked after you.”

“Anakin did?”

“Yes, but on behalf of Master Obi-wan, who says he still hasn’t heard from you since we left.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. I don’t know why you’re surprised. He’s your friend, Y/N,” Padmé scoffed, rolling her eyes at you. 

She sounded surprised and a little confused as she looked away from her harness, and turned her chair to face you. To be fair, apathy at the news that Obi-wan was alive and well was not exactly your style. 

You might have well as just come out and said that something was wrong. Why else weren’t you dancing with joy? 

“I don’t know what happened between you but I know you both. You can work it out. You can only spend so long hiding from your problems, staying with me on this planet and ignoring his messages. He’ll still be there when you get back and he clearly misses you.” 

It took everything in you not to break. As it was, you gripped the controls a little tighter than necessary as you chose to prepare the ship for flight rather than meet the Senator’s gaze. “That’s the problem.” 

“Problem?”

“Forget I said anything.” 

“But Y/N-“

“Padmé. Please.” You hated how your voice cracked. “Drop it.” 

Padmé sighed but honoured your request. She didn’t say another word about it, even if you did catch her shooting you pitying looks throughout the rest of the day. Maker knows what she thought was going on between the pair of you. 

You didn’t even know how to explain it to yourself. How were you supposed to explain it to Obi-wan? After all, he deserved an explanation and you knew he’d be asking for one the moment he was back on the same planet as you were.

At least he was well enough to do so. That was the thought that gave you comfort as you tried to suppress your pain and focus on the task at hand. You were supposed to be working, after all. 

So, you held your head high, doing your best to look the part of a Jedi. 

Standing guard as you chaperoned Padmé through her various meetings was a good distraction, as was making sure that there were no possible threats to the proceedings in general; It was hard to think about anything else when you were busy thinking about how many possible weak spots there were in the room for a brave assassin to target. 

The answer - as you determined - was 34. 35 if they happened to be under 4 feet tall…

Needless to say, you were glad to make it back to the embassy in one piece as the day drew to a close. A hot bath and a tall glass of whatever alcohol you could get your hands on sounded divine right about then to help ease the pain of listening into hours and hours of diplomatic jargon that made no sense to you. 

With a smile, you bid Padmé a goodnight, watching as she went into her rooms across the hall, before you turned to do the same. 

However, you’d barely stepped over the threshold before you heard it. 

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding.” 

The voice made you jump as did the sight of the man sat, waiting for you, on the sofa in your room. Without looking up you knew who it was; you knew that voice anywhere.

“Obi-wan… what? What are you doing here? I thought you were back at the temple resting. Should you even be up?”

“Hello to you too,” he smirked, his usual sarcastic tone oddly comforting. “I’m alive and in one piece, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

Thank the Maker for that. 

Given the condition you’d last seen him in, battered, bruised, and bandaged within an inch of his life, you couldn’t believe how normal he appeared (most likely the result of Anakin’s diligent care and an impressive amount of time in a Bacta tank). He barely had a hair out of place. 

It took everything in you to fight the sudden urge to throw yourself into his arms and prove to yourself that he was indeed alright. 

Instead, you took a step closer, trying your best to compose yourself so that he wouldn’t feel the way your heart threatened to burst out of your chest. Then again, it was most likely too late. He’d probably sensed it the moment you’d entered the room. 

He’d caught you off guard and he knew it - it had most likely been his plan all along. 

“Anakin said as much to Padmé. We were both relieved to hear you were out of the med bay.” 

“Were you? I must have missed that message. Then again, something must be wrong with your comms,” Obi continued, his meaning clear as he gestured to your traitorous data padd lying on the caff table in front of him. “After all, I’ve left several messages the past few weeks which have gone unanswered. Needless to say, I was surprised to arrive to find your communicator is, in fact, working.” 

“Well, I...” you stammered, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks at his accusation. 

Nervousness seemed to have crept up on you, because all you could do was stand there like an idiot, your breath caught in your throat. It felt like you were a youngling again, standing before Master Yoda as he scolded you for whatever mischief you and Obi-wan had got yourselves into. 

“Yes?”

“I left a note-“

“Ah, yes,” Obi hummed, rising to his feet. “I was wondering when you would mention that. Would you care to enlighten me as to why you left the temple without a word, other than that note?” 

You gulped. “Because Padmé needed an escort and there wasn’t time for me to wait, to tell you in person. I said all I needed to in that note.”

“We both know that isn’t the truth, Y/N. Please. I came here because clearly this is the only way to get you to talk to me-”

“Well, you should have saved yourself a trip because there’s nothing to talk about.” Your voice cracked as you turned around, feeling a wave of guilt wash over your body at the sight of him. He looked so tired, so distraught, and you knew it wasn’t just the accident that was to blame. Yet again, you left nothing but pain in your wake. “Please, Obi. You shouldn’t have come. Just… leave me alone.” 

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Obi-Wan-”

“Please.”

His tone almost broke you. 

You never had been able to deny him. He had somehow rooted himself deep within you, tethering himself to you with an invisible string that somehow always drew you back to one another. Even now, it felt like he was tugging on your heart, causing a deep ache at the thought of banishing him from your side.  

You let out a sigh of reluctance. “Fine, but only because we both know Anakin learned his stubbornness from having you as a Master and I don’t need you following me around until I give in.”

“Thank you.” Obi-wan was quick to nod his head in gratitude (even if he didn’t refute your point).

Somethings hadn’t changed. 

You remembered the first time he had tried that tactic on you, constantly shadowing you around the halls of the temple until you agreed to help him steal Qui-Gon’s ship on a dare. You were only ten at the time, but it felt like you had known each other for a whole lifetime - it had been that way since the moment you’d first laid eyes on one another as younglings. 

Despite fearing the consequences of what would happen if you two were caught, you had eventually agreed to help, unable to resist him for long. 

How simple things had been back then… 

You sighed. 

“You know, you didn’t exactly answer my question before. What are you doing here? And why do I feel as if Padmé is somehow involved in this?”

“Because you always were rather perceptive,” Obi-wan chuckled, reclaiming his spot on the couch behind him. 

He gestured to the seat opposite in clear invitation - one you decided to accept, despite the fact that this was technically your room. After all, it had been a long day and if you were to open this particular wound then you would at least be seated whilst doing it. 

You were also relieved, but not surprised, to see he had already helped himself to your tea collection too. At least he’d had the decency to pour you a cup. 

“That, and we both know our friend, Senator Amidala, all too well. She simply cannot stand not being able to fix something, including us it seems.” 

That sounded like Padmé. Hell, you’d been in that meeting room long enough today to know the true extent of his words. Padmé saw every problem as a puzzle to solve, and nearly every time, she did - even if it meant sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, or getting herself in the middle of trouble along the way. 

No wonder she and Anakin were close. They were practically the same person, in that regard, and were more than likely responsible for the few grey hairs both you and Obi-Wan had discovered over the years. 

“Us? What - but I - I haven’t told anyone anything -”

“You may not have, but I cannot say the same for Anakin,” Obi smirked, sipping his tea as if to hide the expression. “Nor, his eager apprentice, either. Apparently they may have mentioned to Padmé about our… lack of communication, amongst other things.”  

Why were you not surprised? 

“Of course they did.”    

Maker, you hated this. 

You hated that you had acted as judge, jury, and executioner without letting him plead his case.

You hated the echoing chasm that now existed between the both of you.

But most of all? You hated that you left and stayed away for so long. 

It shouldn't have been this way; you should have been at his bedside when he awoke, ready to thank him, and celebrate his recovery in person. You should have been helping him heal his wounds, rather than hiding away and licking your own. 

“I was a coward.” 

Saying the words aloud somehow made you feel lighter, even if you knew it would take more than words to fix this. The guilt was enough to cause your eyes to water, while you tried your best not to look at him. 

However, admitting the truth was the first step on a long road to enlightenment, as Master Yoda had once said. 

“I was a coward and I ran. I ran from you and the feelings I had for you - the feelings that I know you feel for me too. That crash was too close, Obi. I almost lost you and what’s worse is that it was because of me. I hurt you. Even Anakin knew it. You would never have done something so dangerous and stupid otherwise. You took out that fighter, at cost to yourself, because of me.”  

The confession came pouring out of you. 

“So, I ran and I left that note because I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t say those things to your face without you knowing that I didn’t mean them, because I don’t - and I’m trying so hard, Obi. I want to honour you and the promise you made to the order, to Master Qui-Gon and Anakin… I don’t want to put you in that position.” 

“So you left?”

“Yes.”

“You made that decision for me, on my behalf?” 

You blinked, sensing the hurt behind his words. “Yes. I did, and I’m sorry... I love you too much to do this to us anymore. I thought by making the choice for you I was sparing you pain in the long run.” 

“Well, you thought wrong. I need you to hear me when I say this, Y/N. I choose you. I choose you, no matter what it means for us or whatever our future may look like. I choose you because I love you and I have for as long as I can remember.”

You knew how much he meant what he said when he used that tone. It's the one he used often when addressing the council or when there was some sort of important threat that needed to be dealt with. It was resolute, and left no room for misunderstanding. 

“These feelings came to be all on their own, and I could never resent you for them. You didn’t force me to feel this way, nor do you force me to act in any way I would not choose to do myself. Do you understand?” 

“Obi-wan… I-" you choked, unable to convince yourself that he was not still angry with you. However, he seemed to know exactly what intrusive thoughts were plaguing you - the same ones that had caused you to flee in the first place. The ones that told you deep down you weren’t enough, that this was a mistake, that he couldn’t possibly be here saying these things to you. 

"Tell me that you understand that. Please." 

You gnawed at your bottom lip. "I... understand."

Relief flooded in his eyes at your words.

Finally, both of you seemed to be on the same page, but it still didn't erase the shame you felt. Tears rolled down your cheeks as your lips trembled.

“Obi, I'm so sorry... you were hurt and I abandoned you. Seeing you like that, and knowing my part in it all, I let my emotions take over and you didn’t deserve that. I left and I should've stayed. I messed things up-" 

The words died on your lips as he took your face in his scarred hands, passionately pressing his lips against yours.

Your mind was reeling but all you could do was hum in the kiss, fighting the urge to pull away. 

No. 

No more running from this. 

On that point, he was right; whatever steps you took next you would take together, and denying this connection was clearly not possible. Not when it consumed you so entirely, your soul crying out for his and causing your knees to go weak. 

His lips clashed with yours, his fingers threaded through your hair, tilting your face up. That devious smile grew, and your toes curled in your boots as you saw the smile you’d spent the last few weeks dreaming about. “There’s my darling, Y/N.”

“Obi,” you sighed. 

It was odd how much you’d missed this… missed him… even the way his beard lightly scratched your chin as you kissed him made your heart skip a beat. You felt as if you were somehow complete, like a piece of you had been missing but now returned as he took you in his arms, pulling you roughly against him. 

You were his and he was yours. 

"I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again, you understand me?"

“I’m never leaving you again,” you whined earnestly, a smile of your own escaping your lips as he began to trail his kisses against your jawline and neck. He knew you all too well and was clearly not above playing dirty when it came to reminding you. 

Hence his choice of tactic, tilting you both backwards until you lay against the sofa cushion - penned in, with no escape, you were forced to listen as he pulled back long enough to meet your watery gaze once more. 

“I need you to remember, it's ok to get scared. It's human. You're afraid of losing me the same way I'm afraid of losing you, Y/N,” Obi stated firmly. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you’re beside me, wherever that may be.”  

You stared up at him with a hesitant, watery smile. 

His throat bobbed. “I missed you. Every second, every breath. Not just this,” he said, shifting his hips for emphasis and dragging a groan from deep in your throat, “but … talking to you. Being with you. Having you beside me. I missed having you as my friend even more.”

Your eyes burned. “I know.” 

As soon as the words left your lips, his arms tightened around you in reply, his forehead lowering to press to your shoulder. 

You stroked a hand through his silken hair.

“I know. Never again,” you promised him, and whispered it over and over.

Taglist (people who asked about part 2):

@obiwanownsmyass​ @tommysparker​ @graniairish​ @itscheybaby @blondekel77 

[dameronscopilot]

forget me (please)

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x reader a/n: just a very sad, depressing little drabble about being in love with a hot desert wizard/fugitive.

“Ben, please don’t do this.” 

Your voice breaks as you choke out the plea. As if in response to the broken desperation in your words, the hand resting gently against the side of your face begins to tremble, and the man standing in front of you inhales sharply. You roughly wipe at the hot tears that have begun to make their way down your cheeks, and you feel Ben feebly try to swipe them away with his thumb.

“It’s the only way to guarantee you’ll be safe,” he responds, unable to mask the shuddering anguish burning a hole through the comforting lilt of his voice. Drawn to him as you always were, you make the terrible mistake of shifting your gaze, which had been resolutely focused on an otherwise unremarkable spot on the wall over his left shoulder. When your eyes meet his, your resolve crumples to ash. 

He’d warned you time and time again that a day like today would eventually come, made you promise that you’d let him go if it did. Ben had far too many enemies as a rogue Jedi in hiding, and despite the quiet, blissful years of contentment you had carved out together, Obi-Wan Kenobi’s time had finally run out. Anakin Skywalker was alive, and Ben would die by his own hand before putting you at risk. Memory rubbing with the Force was the only option now, because you both knew well enough that you’d follow him to the ends of the galaxy without a second thought—you’d said it yourself time and time again. 

But now, as you take in his grief-stricken expression, panic begins to rise in your chest at the thought of forgetting the soft, tender gaze that Ben reserves solely for you. Your heart aches as you realize that you’ll wake up tomorrow with no recollection of the feeling of the pleasant scratch of his beard against your chin when his lips meet yours. You ball your hands in the fraying edges of his tunic, as if you could keep him there by sheer will alone. As if holding on to him will anchor you and save you from the terrifying sensation of being swept out to sea that’s coursing through your veins.

Ben laces his fingers with yours. A single tear slips down his cheek, and your world shatters. You give up on holding the rest of your tears at bay, and your chest burns as you nod and quietly say, “Okay.” 

Ben brings his hands up to cup your face, and you close your eyes when you feel the warm caress of his lips on both of your cheeks. “There never was and never will be anything more precious to me in this galaxy than you and our time spent together,” he breathes out quietly, his steady voice threatening to collapse under the sob building up in the back of his throat. He continues, “I will always be with you,” and places his hand over your heart.

You bring a hand up to thread your fingers through his hair, and he visibly relaxes, leaning into your touch. Ben slowly takes your hand and brings it up to his mouth, tracing a small circle inside of it with his thumb as he presses a kiss to the base of your palm. He lowers your hand and leans his forehead against yours, taking a shuddering breath as he slowly runs a thumb over your bottom lip. 

Shivering, you whisper, “Ben,” and he surges forward, capturing your lips with his. His mouth desperately slides against yours, and you ardently respond in kind. He brings one hand down to curl protectively around your hip as he places the fingers of his other against your left temple. You begin to taste salt in the warmth of his kiss, and you can feel Ben’s hands shaking…and then everything dissolves into a strange sensation of numbness. 

When you open your eyes again, you’re alone. 

[thefact0rygirl]

Edging Obi-Wan for the kinktober list?

red | obi-wan kenobi x sith!reader

Kinktober Day Seven: Edging

kinktober masterlist | main masterlist

Rating: Explicit 18+

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Sith!Fem!Reader

Reader Description: reader has red eyes like the sith, but there is no mention of their real eye color.

Warnings: enemies with benefits, dom!reader, edging/orgasm denial, handjob, cock ring use, face sitting

“You’re doing so well, Jedi. I think you deserve a reward, don’t you?”

Obi-Wan tumbles through a fog of arousal and euphoria looking for a witty response, but he can't find the words with your warm breath tickling his cheek. Not when you're kneeling over him, one hand carding through his hair while the other strokes his cock.

He swallows, his tongue feeling too big and too dry for his mouth from the time — has it been minutes, maybe hours? — spent panting and moaning as you tease him mercilessly. And it only continues when you give the tip of his cock a twist of your wrist, a pearl of precum spilling over your fingers. 

“Or should I make this tighter?" Your hand moves to cup his balls, cradling them before gently tapping the rubber ring wrapped around his base. “Hmmm? What do you think?”

There is a deep scratch along his voice as he moans your name. He wants to say something clever, something to throw you off balance and make your thighs clench, but his muddled brain freezes when he meets your intense gaze. Your eyes burn bright red. Red like blood, red like fire, red like the Sith. 

And maybe it’s the ring wrapped around his cock that is toying with his vision, but he swears he can see your natural eye color along the edge of your irises.  He remembers your eyes when there was no red. Bright and shining, just like you. He wishes he could see them again. No red, no war, just you.

Breaking away from his thoughts, he musters a strangled response, “Is this…fuck… is this really necessary? I think you’ve made your point, my dear.”

You tilt your head to the side, an amused smirk donning your lips as you give him a hard stroke. His hips buck underneath you as you slide through the precum gathering at his tip before lifting a finger to your lips. You wrap your lips around it, letting the salty taste of Obi-Wan flood your taste buds.

“Stop acting like that, Jedi,” You say, pulling your finger out of your mouth with a loud ‘pop’. “You know you like this.”

And, fuck, he really does. 

The rubber ring wrapped around him…it makes his cock stand up more than it ever has, his balls swelling a little more than usual with a brighter shade of pink. The veins running along his length are more prominent, bulging more with adrenaline and pleasure pumping through his veins.

Try as he might, you don’t miss the way his dry tongue is unsuccessfully trying to wet his parched lips. “Maybe I can start by helping you with that dry mouth.” You whisper against his ear. Before he can fully process your words, you’re pushing him down on his back and crawling up his chest. Straddling his face, you coo to him, "Let's see if we can remedy that."

Yeah, he fucking loves this.

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[beaxtrice]

Moodboards (wallpapers) - Obi Wan Kenobi

Here we go, I finally made some new wallpapers with a new format. I think I have a problem with "not keeping only one type of wallpaper template" 🙏😂 sorry I like experimenting. Btw for this format, I will give each character a specific theme (well more like the vibes they give me 🤣).

Here the theme is: forest / woods / cozy day in the Jedi Archives with Obi wan and then a stroll in the forest

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[weixuldo]

GUYS I HAVE SO MANY FUCKING IDEAS FOR FICS HELPPP

1. the bi!padme one (maybe a lil poly later on if i write it)-you were raised on naboo, once you reached a certain age you were chosen to become one of padme amidala’s handmaidens. over time you and the future queen became very close. in many ways. but when a charming jedi enters the picture things get…complicated. what will happen of your relationship with padme? (EDIT: Will you stay?)

2. modern au, college student reader x 30’s anakin🫠🫠 ( v self indulgent)- you’re a broke and tired college student and go out to a bar one night to blow off some steam. there you see a handsome man who looks less than pleased to be out at the bar. maybe he’s just as miserable as you? he seems to be wearing gloves and winter clothing… it’s summer. that intrigues you more, just what is he hiding? (EDIT: Enigma)

3. modern au, baby sitter reader x dilf anakin- you got a job working for a single dad, you were working part time during your last semester of college to pay off some debts and this position seemed to pay well. once you arrive for your first day you’re met with a handsome face, he seems particularly cold towards you but you take it with a grain of salt. after spending some time around him, he seems to soften towards you. not only were you taking care of his kids, you were also taking care of him. (EDIT: Unconditionally)

4. din djarin x jedi reader- ashoka trained you years ago while she ran from the empire, when you come back for an impromptu visit to your old master, she has a new task for you. accompany an aloof mandalorian and his green force sensitive child… what could go wrong.

5. obi wan x jedi master reader- you’ve been training as a jedi knight for as long as you could remember. during your pivotal years you grew close to one of your peers, obi wan kenobi. years later you struggle with your intense feelings towards him. things get interesting once he acquires a new padawan. (ani: “you really should see how my master speaks of you”)

6. vader x reader fic- following the events of rots, you were called upon to assist the newly risen sith lord. he seems to want absolutely nothing to do with you or your help. even when you tell him of his meetings he waves you off and huffs every time you speak. you knew he lost a lot and he was in constant pain, but maker, would it kill him to be a little nice? in time he begins to appreciate you in more ways than one. (obv ani couldn’t move on from padme that quick, so in this fic we’re gonna pretend they were just dating or sm… and ;i’m sorry padme) she betrays him…idk i just need him to be available in this fic lmfao)

IF ANY OF THESE SOUND INTERESTING PLS LMK!!!! also dw i’ll write these more like how i wrote never forgotten, the sith lords ingénue is more like a fun crack fic for me🫡