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#kept on having to stop bc i was crying too hard
crow-king-ash · 2 years
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just found out abt this website https://www.queeringthemap.com/
and now i am sobbing
here’s some that made me cry
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some that made me laugh
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and some that give me so much hope and love
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i love you queer people who are out i love you queer people who are closeted i love you queer people who are sure of their identity i love you queer people who don’t know who they are yet i love you queer people in accepting countries i love you queer people in countries that won’t accept you i love you queer people i love you queer people i love you i love you i love you
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beeduoo · 2 months
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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
#origins smp#i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅#beeduo#otubbo#oranboo#beeduo fanart#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
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yanderespamton78 · 1 month
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the current state of the arg
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sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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lilgynt · 2 years
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i’ve been trying to watch hannibal for like. four days in a row but i’m so sick i just end up sleeping or watching 17 hours of tik toks
#personal#let’s recap the week so far for the folks at home#28th go clubbing after my car dies and huge fight with my brother#29th called out due to puking from too much sad drinking and then went to a party that night#30th massive break down after my mom drives me home from work and is like#i’m actually happy ur car died and u had to call out bc it showed me ur not some drunk and actually take responsibility for ur actions#bc i felt awful to call out for that reason#and she was like this is the first time i see you acting like an adult and not a crazy teenager. maybe there’s hope#that’ll you stop causing all the problems in our family ❤️#paraphrasing ofc#31st fight with my mom bc was taking part of my costume even tho i needed it in the end i gave it to her#alongside the rest of her costume but i was just mad about the wig#keeps calling me and asking why i’m not doing anything for halloween but like i’m very broke. and she took part of my costume#we get into an argument and she’s like i have 40 bucks is that enough for ur plans? u worked super hard on ur costume#which like super nice not even gonna lie but it wouldn’t so i told her as much but she kept pushing and i was like ITS NOT GONNA WORK. we#get into another argument my brother texts me and tells me i didnt do something he never told me to do#have a complete break down and can’t tell what’s real or not shakin hyperventilating crying for hours#more of the same when mom comes etc etc#1st i can’t remember i think i was just sick yeah i was just sleeping in bed sick and then 2nd#had an hour and a half of work b4 i HAD to go home. felt like a huge baby#3rd still super sick#also my mom started checking on me yesterday and got me soups and geteroades which like actually super nice and im so thankful#oh and this is forgetting the car insurance stuff my mom and i talked about and she said she handled but she didn’t so my brother got to be#smug about telling me anyway it’s been a fucking week
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chaconnehoon · 3 months
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Obsession- L. HS
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✶ Heeseung x Fem! Reader
Synopsis- Who knew the shy, sweet boy from high school would change so much over a couple years? When you realized what you had been missing out on, you didn’t hesitate to show interest in him. Who knew what he really felt after finally having you to himself?
Word Count: 20k
Warnings: SMUT!! Lots of smut and mature themes in general, controlling parents, toxic relationship, stalker-ish themes, Heeseung and reader are both crazy and obsessive
Smut warnings: Kissing, oral(f&m), dry humping, unprotected sex, public sex, masochism, voyeurism, hair pulling, sadism, squirting, etc. that I forgot, I apologize
A/N: Lots of very dark themes, please don’t read if you’re looking for pure vanilla smut bcs this is not the place!! I had many, many ideas for this but decided to take it easy as it’s my first full writing, so look forward to more of my ideas in the future! This was also proofread so many times but I’m sure there are still a few mistakes I missed, pls ignore them :)
Taglist:
@haelahoops @rayofsunshineeee @wannieepisod @ke4s @jungwonloveer @cyberinnie @tasnim10 @hee-yunie @iamliacamila @bluesoobinnie @sumzysworld @blckvper @capri-cuntz @parksunghoonsgf @ladyartemesia @seokseokjinkim
This is fiction and the scenarios are completely fake and from my brain, none of the characters are like this in real life, MDNI!
For once in your life, you felt free.
The moment you came out of your mother’s womb, grumpy and crying, were thrown under constant observation. Every friend you made and every building you stepped foot into was to be researched and evaluated by your parents before you were given their permission to have a social life.
When you were in kindergarten you were accidentally pushed off of the play structure by another student, but stood back up with no serious injuries. However, when your mother picked you up and seen the cuts from the bark on your arm, she demanded you tell her who had hurt you and later requested that the teacher kept you and the boy separated for the rest of the year.
The next day, the same boy introduced himself as Jake and handed you a heart lollipop, asking you to be his valentine. And so you agreed, and you agreed every year after that, until he eventually stopped asking when you both knew the answer would stay the same.
Your mother disapproved of Jake, claiming he’s too mischievous and a bad influence on you. He was both of those things, but he never showed it, which is why you came to the conclusion that your mother just didn’t like him simply because he’s a boy. She had to put up with him though, because of your fathers undying love for your friend, claiming him as his “son he never had”.
Your friendship with Jake had blossomed since day one, and he was your one and only best friend from that point on, until you both started your freshman year of high school. High school was different; there were different subjects, different sports, different people.
So, when Jake showed up at your front door one day after school with two boys, one on either side of him, your mother slammed the door in their faces and called for you to come downstairs. She dragged you to the window and cracked the blinds open enough for both of you to see through, and then shut them before looking at you with her arms crossed. “Explain” she spat out and your eyes widened as you shook your head. “I don’t know them ma, I swear!” You put your hands up defensively and then she rolled her eyes before peeking through the blinds again.
She let out an unbelieving ‘mhm’ and you threw your arms in the air. “I promise! They’re probably just Jake’s friends, he’s a guy and he needs to have other guy friends too, you would know.” You hissed the last phrase at her and you could see her jaw clench before she turned to you again. “Don’t use that tone with me.” She remained calm while she spoke but you’re sure if you looked hard enough you could see the steam coming from her ears.
“I’m just saying” you started speaking before plopping yourself on the couch just below the window, “You always say I shouldn’t be friends with boys, especially the ones like Jake. So maybe he made new friends that are like him.” You looked at your mother as if waiting for her validation, but she just kept her eyes on the boys. You joined her again and appreciated the fact that they didn’t give up and leave, which was probably Jake’s idea considering he was standing with his arms crossed and staring straight into the door.
Before you could try to convince her more, your father was pulling up in the drive way, honking when he noticed the kids at his front door and you tried not to giggle when the three boys jumped and whipped their heads around. You seen Jake slightly relax at the sight of your dad walking up to them with his keys in his hand, and he was eventually unlocking the front door and letting them inside.
Your mother huffed before your father was pulling her into a nearby room and you heard him harshly scold her for being so immature. Outside of the room, Jake was squeezing you half to death in a tight hug, before letting go and whispering an apology for bringing two strangers along with him. “This is Jay” he turned to the boy on his left and put an arm around his shoulder, “and this is Sunghoon” he swung his other arm over the other boy’s shoulder, but had tilted slightly upwards due to the height difference.
You held your hand out and greeted both boys, looking them in the eyes and noting how Sunghoon was quick to avoid eye contact, instead looking at the floor. Jay on the other hand, was confident in himself and gave you a little smirk as you smiled at him. He had low, lazy looking eyes, but his smirk was sharp and showed off his dimple nicely. Sunghoon was shy, but he was nonetheless gorgeous and had the most beautiful eyebrows you’d ever seen. You were also quite fond of his dimpled smile, which shows his sharp canine teeth that resemble vampire fangs.
From that day on, Jay and Sunghoon were added to your friend group and were soon considered your best friends, along with Jake of course. Jake was your number one from the start and you will always see him as that, trusting him the most with your life.
So, when you were both 16 and upset that you hadn’t had your first kiss yet, you let Jake take that title as he kissed you behind the school after you had asked. He was pretty inexperienced himself, but being handsome from an early age allowed him to kiss a few girls in his life before having the pleasure of kissing you. This didn’t change anything in your relationship, staying as friends and promising to never cross that line.
Even if there were no strings attached, the kiss ignited something inside of you, having you crave more and more until you were satisfied. For the rest of your high school experienced, you had experimented relationships with a few people, even going as far as kissing other girls, but realizing you liked the spark you got from being with a man.
✶.
Your best friends were by your side throughout everything, giggling along with you while you talked about a new boyfriend, or supporting you when you wanted to egg the same guy’s car after he cheated on you. The boys were by your side when you fought with your mom about moving away for college, even helping you move into your apartment when you did. They were even by your side the day you started your third year of college and you had gotten accused of sleeping with another girl’s boyfriend at a party. But instead of encouraging you to fight her when she started putting her hair up, Jay had thrown a cockroach at her, resulting in the four of you running into a random classroom to hide.
“Seriously though, who even tries to start a physical fight anymore, we’re too old for that.” Jay was shaking his head and laughing through his sentence like it was the funniest thing he ever experienced. “Who throws bugs at other people!?” Sunghoon smacks Jay in the back of the head before speaking again, “We’re too old for that too!” Sunghoon’s voice sounds horse like he’s really stressing the situation as if he’s so mature himself.
“Oh come on!” Jake is speaking now, adding a whine to his voice, “Don’t act like you didn’t put that snake in a can prank in Heeseung’s backpack last year!” His recollection causes everyone to burst out laughing, and you try your best to laugh along despite your lack of knowledge of the situation.
“Right! Who could forget!” A fifth voice pulls you out of your thoughts as the five of you go quiet, slowly turning around to find where the voice was coming from. Your eyes widen as you mentally facepalm for not looking around the room before entering.
“Oh! What’s up Heeseung?” Jake is greeting him before you can even register who the boy a few feet away from you is. Heeseung sighs before walking up a few steps, “Hi Jake” he shifts his focus, “Jay…Sunghoon” he gives a glance towards the other two before locking eyes with you. “Y/N” he says lowly as if he held anger behind his voice.
You don’t understand why he would be angry at you. Perhaps it’s the fact that you stumbled into a random classroom, and maybe he’s busy with something that you interrupted. But with the way he’s looking at you, it feels deeper than your understanding.
“Heeseung! Hi!” You smiled softly at him, trying your best to not sound intimidated despite your breathy voice. “It’s been a while, huh?” You try making small talk and you hear Jay snicker next to you.
“It’s been three years.” Heeseung sounds snarky as he walks up the last few steps with his hands in his hoodie pocket and finally stands across from all four of you. “Right…three years.“ you nod your head and you hear Sunghoon clear his throat, “Look Heeseung, we’re not trying to start anything, and I apologize for what I pulled last year.” Sunghoon defends himself, standing up straighter as if he’s sizing up towards Heeseung.
A few silent seconds pass before Heeseung is throwing his head back and bursting out in laughter. The three boys around you all exchange quick glances before Heeseung is running a hand through his hair and speaking again, “You guys are too funny.” He takes one long step over, sticking out his hand like he’s offering it to Jake.
You look at Jake from next to him, watching as he swallows dryly while looking at Heeseung’s extended hand. You nudge his opposite arm slightly and he breaks his gaze, looking at you before looking at Heeseung’s face, which is now settled with a small smirk. You nudge him harder in hopes that he’ll take the hint, and he eventually does considering he’s quick to pull his hand out from his own pocket and dabs Heeseung up, a loud clapping sound following.
“Relax, Sim” Heeseung says lowly this time and you hear the rasp in his voice. Jake lets out an awkward giggle and retracts his hand, wiping the sweat off onto his thigh, “What are you doing in here anyways?” Heeseung looks around the room before turning back to your friend group, “Well, I wanted to get to know the location of my class before it started.” He raises a questioning eyebrow, “I’d assume you all were too if I hadn’t overheard your conversation.” Heeseung laughs to himself and you suddenly remember that you hadn’t found your class yet. “Oh! That’s right! Well I guess we should probably get going then.” You sweetly smile at Heeseung and the boys next to you all let out sounds of realization when they remember they still need to find their classes also.
“What classes do you guys have?” Heeseung sits atop one of the desks and you wait for the boys to speak up, but instead they’re all searching for their schedule on their phones. “Um…I have intro to music prouction.” You sound confident this time, but slowly loose the confidence once you see how deeply Heeseung is staring at you. “Oh! Me too!” Sunghoon smiles brightly and wraps an arm around your waist, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung. “Hey! Me three! Let’s go!” Jake flexes an arm proudly while patting Sunghoon on the back. “Well, looks like we all have it together!” Jay suddenly says and joins your circle of cheers.
Heeseung watches from the table he’s sitting on, noting how close you and the boys seem. Of course you’re close, you have been since you’ve met, but Heeseung still can’t help the feeling of jealousy he senses deep in his stomach.
“I guess we should go look for the room then.” Jake releases from the group and heads for the classroom door until Heeseung is speaking up again. “No need” he states simply and you all turn to look at him for the nth time. “This is the intro to music production room.” He says with a shrug, looking around the room. You again feel the need to mentally face palm as you failed to notice the set up of the classroom, but also feel thankful that you hadn’t knocked over any important and expensive equipment.
You all stand awkwardly for a few seconds until the bell suddenly rings and Jake lets out a small yelp. You giggle at him and you can see Heeseung’s jaw clench as he quickly stands up and then sits down at the same table’s seat. You glance around the classroom, too uncomfortable to sit anywhere but not sure if it would make Heeseung uncomfortable to sit next to him. Before you could make a decision Jake is pulling you into the seat next to Heeseung, and then sitting next to you with Sunghoon and Jay following.
You glare at Jake and he gives you big puppy eyes and juts out his bottom lip, pouting as an apology. You roll your eyes and stare back towards the front of the class, trying your best to focus on the people filling up the seats while Heeseung is looking at you through his peripheral vision. “So,” Jay’s voice startles you and you feel your knee bump Heeseung’s, but he’s quick to place a hand on it to keep you from moving further. You look down at his hand before looking up at him through your eyelashes, then quickly turn your attention towards Jay when he’s talking again.
“Heeseung, um, I didn’t know you take music production classes.” Jake and Sunghoon hum in agreement and you’re wondering how long it’s been since they had last seen him. “You did” Heeseung is quick to spit out, almost annoyed. “When you put the snake can in my backpack? That was in our ethnomusicology class.” He pauses and you can almost see a hurt look in his eye as he looks past you and towards your friends. “And the year before that was when we all had music theory together.” You widen your eyes at the realization that your friends are either very dumb, or very self absorbed to not notice him before. Possibly both.
“Oh right!” Jake snaps his fingers and points at Heeseung with a big smile on his face. “I remember now! Such fun classes.” He hums the last part as if he’s missing them while Heeseung seems to be feeling the quite opposite. He squeezes your knee with his hand that you forgot was touching you, and you look up at him with big eyes. This seems to calm him as he rubs light circles with his thumb before pulling his hand away and into his lap.
As if on que, the professor walks in and greets the class, introducing himself and starting a long synopsis of the course, and you soon find yourself forgetting all about the new yet old peer next to you.
✶.
You wouldn’t consider Heeseung as an old friend. In fact, you’re not sure he even has any real friends. Of course he has the occasional book worms that you would see him studying with in high school. However, that was years ago, and you just seeing him again now.
Which is why you’re now pushing the back of Jake’s head when you walk behind him as he’s relaxing on your couch, questioning why he never told you how much Heeseung had changed.
“Because? I didn’t think you’d care?” He looks at you in confusion as you lay on the couch next to him, throwing your legs across his lap and he places his arms behind his head. “You don’t think I’d care about how hot he is?” You scoff and Jake just shrugs while looking up at your ceiling.
You look towards Sunghoon and Jay who were raiding your fridge, then pausing like they were caught committing a crime. “Hey don’t look at us!” Sunghoon hissed before he turns and opens up your microwave, putting what you can assume is a bowl of ramen inside. “Yeah don’t look at us” Jay speaks in between taking sips of your two liter of coke, “We’re not your new eye candy” he teases and you roll your eyes, looking away and back towards Jake.
“I’m just saying guys,” you throw your arms in the air like you’re trying to make a point. “Last I seen he was a nerd with big round glasses and ears too big for his head,” you almost catch yourself smiling before you’re talking again, “and now? He has nice hair and the height of the green giant?” You hear Jake laugh and you watch as he picks his head back up and places his hands on your legs. “Trust me Y/N,” Jake shakes his head, “He’s still as much of a pathetic nerd as he always has been, he was just trying to act tough in front of you.” He lightly pokes your legs and you wiggle them away until you’re sitting up next to him.
“Well you know I do like pathetic men.” You smile to yourself, not even the slightest ashamed of your enjoyment of corrupting cute boys. “But why would he try to act tough for me?” You furrow your brows at Jake and he pressed his lips into a line like he’s disappointed in your question. “Are you serious?” Sunghoon is yelling from the kitchen this time, “He has like the biggest crush on you!” He’s crossing his arm and tapping his foot like a disappointed father, much like Jake.
You shake your head and laugh loudly, “That was in high school! I doubt he still does.” You try your best to sound sure of yourself, but the last sentence comes out quiet. “Bullshit” Jake slaps your thigh and you glare at him as he pokes your head. “You didn’t see the way he was looking at you earlier?” You shake your head and slap his arm away and he scoffs. “So oblivious” you frown at him while he’s talking about you as if he’s not talking to you. “Plus” he starts again and raises his eyebrows in a flirty way, “He’s been asking about you for the past two years, trying to figure out if he’d have a class with you n’ shit.” Jake shrugs and you scold him for not telling you before.
“What? So you like him all of a sudden?” Jay sinks into the couch next to you and extends an arm across the back, encasing you next to him. “Just because he’s cute now?” He kissed his teeth and shakes his head as if he’s disapproving. “He’s always been cute, just in a different way.” you start off but you’re quickly interrupted by shocked gasps from the three boys and a loud crash from the kitchen.
The three of you turn on the couch to see Sunghoon standing in the kitchen entrance with a bowl of ramen in one hand and the other hand clutching his chest, mouth agape in shock. “You did not just say that.” He whispers breathily like he’s just been told life changing news. “And you did not just break one of my favorite glasses.” You give him an offended look and point a finger at him, then towards your now shattered glass cup on the floor. “You’re cleaning that up and buying me a new one.” You quirk an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, setting down his ramen before bending down to pick up the fallen glass. You tried your best to ignore the fake groans he lets out as if he’s too old and fragile to bend.
“Anyways” Jake claps his hands, “I’m taking a nap! You guys can either join me or stay awake and not break anything so she doesn’t kick us out.” You turn back towards Sunghoon to see him at the trashcan now, flipping Jake off without looking in your direction. Jake only makes it to standing for a second before you’re pulling him back down by his belt loops, resulting in him landing back onto the couch with a huff.
“No.” You simply state and poke his chest, “You’re gonna sit here and explain to me what prank on Heeseung you guys were talking about.” You cross your arms and Jake just whines and sinks himself into the couch more. “It’s nothing really.” Sunghoon sits on the floor in front of the three of you, now slurping his bowl of ramen. “You don’t get a say in if it’s ‘nothing’ or not.” You narrow your eyes at the boy and he breaks eye contact with you to stir his ramen.
“Seriously Y/N” Jay puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you to look at him, “We had bought one of those fake cans that have snakes that pop out, and Hoon was showing it to us. When he went to put it back, Heeseung’s backpack just happened to be the closest to Hoon at the time so he mistook it as his.” Jay tries to reassure you but you just sink yourself into the couch, the same as Jake. “Was funny as fuck though.” Sunghoon was adding on, almost choking on his ramen as he laughed.
You know they’re not lying to you, you’ve grown up with these boys basically your whole life and you know they’d never intentionally bully someone. You’re not sure why you care so much about Heeseung all of a sudden, and as if he could read your mind, Sunghoon is speaking up. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about him like that.” He stands up and walks to the kitchen, making an audible tsk noise.
You sigh and tap your fingers against the couch, deep in thought. The last time you had really spoken to Heeseung he had fluffy, unstyled hair, and wore cute sweaters that he always looked so cozy in. His eyes were big and round, and sparkled no matter how dark it was. He also had cute pink lips with a pretty Cupid’s bow that pulled into a pretty smile. “I guess I am.” You sat up from the couch and Jake made a noise like you had woken him up suddenly. You turn to look at him and he widens his eyes, “I heard everything I promise! You were talking about how much you wanted to kiss Heeseung~.” He teases the last sentence like a middle school girl teasing you for having a crush.
You pushed his shoulder slightly and stood up from the couch, stretching your arms above your head. “Whatever, I’m also going to take a nap so don’t break anything!” You called out while walking up the stairs, hearing an offended scoff come from Sunghoon.
You expected to show up to a frat party on the first Friday night of the semester and get black out drunk for the first time in a while. You didn’t expect to see Heeseung there as well. He was there though, surprisingly not standing out, but not quite fitting in either.
He was making his way towards the corner of the room, and that’s when you realized maybe he hadn’t changed too much. Since the first day you met him, he was always backed up into a random corner of any room, eyes wide and shoulders tense. However, now he looks slightly more comfortable, but not at ease.
Jay throws an arm around your shoulder, annoyingly pulling you close and you can already smell the alcohol on his breath despite just walking into the house 30 seconds ago. “What a surprise.” He says with raised eyebrows that quickly fall when he takes another sip out of the questionable cup he grabbed.
You face him and grab the cup out of his hands, setting it down on a shelf close to you. “You sicko! Where did you get this? You don’t even know what’s in it.” Jay shrugs at your words and respectably burps away from your face before replying, “Something with Rum. I know my baby when I taste it.” He giggles to himself and you scrunch your nose and try to push him off of you, giving up after realizing he’s somehow stronger when he’s intoxicated.
“Check it out.” You hear Jay lowly mumble into your ear, causing you to follow his gaze back towards Heeseung. This time, he’s talking to a girl with a bored expression on his face. You can hear the girl scoff offendedly before throwing her drink all over Heeseung’s shirt, walking away with a disgusted look on her face. “Oh…shit.” Jay’s voice drops and he seems to sober up slightly. “What the fuck?” You turn to look at Jay and he just shrugs at you, going back to grab his mixture of rum and mystery juice.
Before he can stop you, you’re breaking away from him and mumbling, “Go back with the boys, I’ll make sure he’s okay.” and then following Heeseung who is now making his way out of the kitchen and upstairs.
You find him in a bathroom attempting to soak up the alcohol with a bath towel, groaning when he realizes it’s not working. You knock softly on the open door and he looks up to make eye contact with you in the mirror, eyes wide and you catch a glimpse of the old Heeseung you use to know. “Hey” you greet him with a soft smile, like you’re trying to prove you’re not a threat, “I seen what happened and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” He nods slowly and moves slightly to let you inside of the bathroom with him.
“M’ fine. She’s just mad I rejected her” His words are mumbled as he keeps dabbing the towel on his shirt, “I’ll just change.” You furrow your eyebrows and he looks up to see your confused face, smiling at what he thinks is a cute reaction. “This is my house.” He reassures you and your eyes widen as you sit on top of the closed toilet, leaning your arm on the sink and placing your chin in your palm. The new angle has Heeseung avoiding eye contact and you smile to yourself at the realization that maybe your friends were right about his never ending crush on you.
“It’s a pretty house.” You say softly and he nods his head. “You live alone?” You think that this might be the most words you’ve ever directly spoken to Heeseung. He shakes his head, seemingly more shy and less verbal than he was the other day. “You don’t have to act tough in front of me you know.” You quirk an eyebrow and he pauses his movements, mentally cursing at himself when he realizes that you had caught on. “You don’t have to act cool.” You’re tapping your nails on the sink and before he can respond you’re speaking again. “I think you’re already cool.” You smile seeing his eyes widen before he clears his throat.
“Um, thank you? Or…I don’t know how to respond to that.” You giggle at his reaction, standing up and now staring at yourself in the mirror. You try not to move your gaze from where you’re fixing your hair, but seeing Heeseung’s doe eyes also watching you through the mirror makes your stomach flip. You see his mouth open before he closes it again, then open a second time as he starts speaking, “Do you wanna help me pick out a new shirt to wear? Not that I care what you think but- well I do care but I don’t-“ “Sure, Hee” you cut him off and he relaxes at your answer, nodding before he leads you out of the bathroom and down the hall to his own room.
As you pass the stairs, you see your three friends pause on the middle step and their jaws drop at the sight of you following Heeseung to his room. You bite your bottom lip to hold back your smile and you widen your eyes in a way to acknowledge that you know what they’re thinking.
The first step into Heeseung’s room is surprisingly refreshing, and not filled with the scent of a man in his early 20s. Instead, it smells almost warm yet fruity and sets you into a comfortable mood. You sit on the edge of his bed and watch as he opens his closet, shuffling through an array of different colored shirts. He grabs a light blue short sleeve and holds it up against himself, turning to see your reaction. You scrunch your nose and shake your head, telling him it doesn’t match the color of his cargo pants.
He models a few more shirts before landing on a black long sleeve, tilting his head to the side as he watches your reaction. You smile softly and nod your head, imaging how handsome he’d look in such a simple yet fitting shirt. He walks towards the bed before looking at you and then quickly looking away.
“Can you like, turn around or something?” He speaks softly, not wanting to hurt your feelings. You flash a pretty smile at him before poking his side. “Why? You shy?” You tease and he’s quick to shake his head and before you can tell him you’re kidding, he’s pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it on the bed next to you.
Your jaw goes slack and you analyze every part of Heeseung’s torso, too shocked to care if he catches you staring. He’s slim but well defined, with a broad chest and wide shoulders. His body is definitely more mature, but his face as he watches you check him out is the same as it always has been. His big doe eyes watch shyly and his pretty lips softly frown when you stare for too long, quickly getting insecure when he thinks maybe you’re judging him.
He’s quick to throw the new shirt on and you don’t miss how he suddenly caves in on himself, apologizing for being too comfortable. “No, Heeseung don’t apologize.” You swollow dryly, still in shock. “You’re beautiful.” You watch as his ears slightly turn pink and he fights to keep a shy smile off of his lips. You grab his hand so he looks at you and you pat the bed next to you, giggling as he stumbles onto the bed.
“You should be more confident in yourself.” You speak quietly as you play with his fingers of the hand that you’re still holding. “I mean it. You’re beautiful and you don’t need to try hard to show it.” Your words make him slightly perk up, feeling his ego inflate a bit. “Wish you could’ve told me that sooner.” This time he’s the one speaking quietly while he’s looking at your intertwined fingers. “What?” You ask but he’s quick to shake his head like he regrets what he said.
You bring your free hand up to his face, softly cupping his cheek as he looks at you with almost guilt filled eyes. Just as you’re about to ask him to elaborate, a loud pounding shakes his bedroom door that you didn’t even realize he had closed and locked, and he’s quick to stand up and open it. Sunghoon almost falls into the room as the door opens, being forcefully pushed by Jay who is holding a very drunk Jake.
“My apologies lovebirds.” Sunghoon sounds out of breath, seeming as if he maybe had to help Jay carry the body of your other limp friend upstairs. “Jake is already fucked and throwing up everywhere. We got him to the bathroom but he threw up in one of the plant pots in the living room before we could.”
Heeseung sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll have one of my roommates clean that. Thanks for letting me know though.” Sunghoon gives him a quick nod before turning to you and motioning his head towards the door this time. You try not to look disappointed as you get up from the bed and make your way to the doorway. Before you step out, you turn around and plant a quick kiss on Heeseung’s cheek, watching as he stands there stunned before you turn to help carry your friend down the stairs.
You sat with your chin in your palm, staring at the side of Heeseung’s face similarly to the way you did at the party. You could tell he was trying hard to pretend like he’s focusing on what the professor was saying, but you knew his mind was running a mile a minute.
After the party, you couldn’t help but feel excited for the next time you’d see Heeseung, giggling to yourself at night over how cute he looked when he was flustered. Your friends begged you to tell them what had happened when you were alone, and begged harder to know how good he was in bed. You swore on Sunghoon’s life that nothing had happened, which resulted in Sunghoon playing dead after “having a heart attack”.
You somewhat wished that you could answer them, imagining what would’ve happened if they hadn’t interrupted your almost intimate moment with Heeseung. Your eyes grazed over his face, stopping at his lips. Your stomach tingled as you thought of how close you were to kissing him, how innocently he looked at you while you held his face. The urge to be close to him again took over, and you almost subconsciously shifted your foot to rub against his own.
You watched as he stopped breathing for a second, then swallowed harshly which dropped your attention down to his Adam’s apple. The way it bobbed every time he spoke or swallowed made your mouth water, wanting to lean over and take a bite out of his neck. You’re so lost in thought you almost didn’t hear him whisper out to you.
“S-stop staring at me.” He tries to sound stern but stutters and gives up, shaking his head in disappointment in himself. His reaction is cute to you, and you can’t help but reach out and poke his round cheek. ”Can’t help it, you’re too cute.” He blushes lightly and before you can retract your hand fully, he’s grabbing it and intertwining his fingers with yours, then dropping both of your hands into his lap.
Even if it’s not an intimate gesture, the idea of being so close to Heeseung in a public setting has you craving more. You’ve barely gotten to know him but he’s already addicting, and you wonder if he feels the same way towards you. You move your pinky that’s trapped between your hands and his thigh, and you notice how his body stiffens at the most innocent touch. You love the feeling of control you have over him, wanting-needing more.
You rub your pinky against his leg a few more times before letting go of his hand, and instead grabbing his thigh. He lets out a squeak-like noise, eyes widening as he sees Jake peek around from the other side of you, raising an eyebrow before smirking and nudging your side. You nudge him back and tell him to focus, all while rubbing your hand up and down Heeseung’s thigh, occasionally squeezing it lightly. The sight of him breathing heavily makes you squeeze your own thighs together, suddenly feeling very aroused by the shy boy next to you.
You struggle to pay attention for the rest of the class, tuning in when the professor brings up the first major assignment and then tuning back out when he starts talking about his failed marriage. Most of your brain capacity is taken over by the thought of Heeseung, getting giddy over the idea of him simply existing as if he’s not sitting next to you.
You hear Jake audibly groan when class is dismissed, muttering about how sore his neck ended up after Jay fell asleep on his shoulder. As your group walks down the stone pathway Sunghoon takes this opportunity to “massage” Jake’s neck, when in reality, a massage from Sunghoon means he tries to painfully poke his slim fingers into your pressure points.
Jake thrashes around as an attempt to get away from Sunghoon’s fingers, bumping into Jay who then bumps into you, causing you to fall backwards and into Heeseung. You collapse on top of him, pushing the both of you over and landing on his lap like a scene you from a cliché romance movie. “Woah guys!” Jay yells out, covering his eyes as if he’s so bothered by a position he’s in every other night. “Get a room horn dogs.” You just roll your eyes and stand up, reaching your hand out for Heeseung to grab.
As soon as he’s up, he’s quickly turning away and avoiding eye contact. You go to tease his shy behavior until you spot the bulge below his belt which he does a terrible job at hiding. “Oh dude.” Jay is trying not to sound amused, but the way Heeseung bites his lip looks all too much like he’s about to cry. You lean over to Jay and tell him and the boys to keep walking back to your apartment while you attempt to talk to Heeseung.
You softly grab the loose fabric of his hoodie sleeve and turn him to face you, stopping him from walking further but frown when he ends up staring straight at the ground. “Hey, Hee.” You cup his cheek softly like you did the other night and he leans his head into your palm.
You take this as a sign of comfort and slide your hand to his chin, grabbing it lightly and forcing him to look at you. “It’s fine baby, don’t worry about that.” His eyes widen at the nickname and he suddenly feels hot under your touch. “We’re just gonna go back to my apartment. Then maybe I can help you out there, is that okay?” He nods in response and that’s all the reassurance you need to grab his hand and speed walk home.
The second you stepped foot into your house, you yelled for the guys to make themselves comfortable as if they didn’t practically live there with how often they were over, and dragged Heeseung to the kitchen. “You need water? Hungry?” You rummage through your fridge, wanting to take care of Heeseung first and foremost. He just shakes his head, nervous eyes darting around your house as he takes in the new unfamiliar area.
“Don’t need anything?” You ask now sipping out of a water bottle and placing it on the counter next to you. “No” Heeseung’s voice shakes, “Just need you.” He drops his head and you do the same, eyes landing right on his still painful hard-on. You look back up and he quickly looks away, and you realize you may never be able to make eye contact with him but making him flustered will always make you smile.
Taking his hand you lead Heeseung up to your bedroom, not even sparing a glance towards your friends as you hear them cheering and hollering behind your back. The way Heeseung’s hand feels hot and sweaty tells you that he definitely doesn’t have much experience, and it seems to arouse you more knowing he probably doesn’t have much to compare you to.
You open your bedroom door, pulling Heeseung inside before closing it and twisting the lock. You turn around to see Heeseung standing awkwardly, hands playing with each other as he looks at you shyly. Walking up to him, you grab both of his hands and look directly into his eyes and this time he doesn’t try to look away. “If anything makes you uncomfortable you can tell me, mkay?” You speak softly and he takes a deep breath hearing how gentle you’re being with him.
You bring him to sit on the side of your bed and sit next to him as you cup his cheek, a familiar position but in a different setting this time. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” You ask and you see the way his eyes flicker down to your lips before they find their way back to your eyes. “No…but I know you have.” His words make you feel a slight pang of guilt in your heart like you should’ve known you’d eventually end up with him.
“The boys told me about your little crush on me.” His eyes widen but he doesn’t deny it and you smile before shifting your touch on his face and using your thumb to gently play with his bottom lip. “Don’t worry” you move your hand to play with the hair on the nape of his neck and lean in close enough for your noses to touch. You can feel his lips brush yours when you speak again. “I think it’s cute.” You purr and gently close the gap between the two of you.
The first kiss lasts a few seconds before you pull away to check on him, but to your surprise he was pouncing back into you and kissing you harshly before you could say anything. You giggle against his lips and grab his shoulders forcing him off of you and he whines at the loss of contact. “Gentle, we don’t have to rush.” He immediately slumps into himself and you take this as an opportunity to push him down onto your bed.
You straddle his hips and smile down at him while he looks up at you with eyes already glossed over and hazy. You lean down, slotting his bottom lip between yours and gently sucking on it. He whines and both of his hands tightly grip your hips while yours land on his chest. He seems to pick up the idea of kissing easily, slightly speeding up excitedly when you quietly moan into the kiss.
You swipe your tongue across his lip and he parts his lips slightly, which allows your tongue to snake in while his does the same and you finally taste him. He lets out a loud moan and quickly pulls back like he didn’t mean to let it slip but you just pull him back in with a harsh grab of his hair. He moans into your mouth again but this time you feel his hands rocking your hips against his and that’s when you remember how hard he was and how badly he must be waiting for release.
“Let me take care of you, Hee.” You pull away from the kiss and he nods rapidly as if he’s been waiting for you to offer. You dip your head into his neck and gently suck and nip at the warm skin, trailing your lips down towards his collarbone as you hear another soft moan escape. You slide off of him and down onto your knees between his legs, tapping one so he gets the hint to let you between them.
He slowly opens his legs just enough for you to fit between and sits up to watch when you start unbuckling his belt. He sighs when you finally take it off and rub your hands on his thighs comfortingly before making your way towards the button on his jeans. You look up at him before unzipping them, looking for any signs of discomfort but all you’re met with is the sight of his bright pink cheeks and dilated pupils.
As soon as you get his jeans off of him you attach your lips to his bare thighs, peppering light kisses trailing from his knees to the hem of his boxers. You reach up to palm his hard-on and when your hand makes contact with him through his underwear, he lets out a whimper that shoots right to your core.
His hips buck into your hand impatiently and he goes to apologize when you’re suddenly grabbing his waistband and pulling his boxers down. He lifts his hips to help you get them down his legs, his cock springing up and catching your attention. He’s big and you don’t know why you’re so surprised considering how big the rest of him is.
He catches you staring for too long and suddenly covers himself up with his hands. “Is it okay?” He’s asking hesitantly and you instantly coo at how cute he is. “So pretty.” You hum and pull his hands away, placing them on the back of your head instead. He takes the hint and threads his fingers through your hair and tugs softly.
You place one hand on his thigh to steady yourself and softly grab his cock with the other, stroking him slightly before using your thumb to smear his precum across his tip. His hips buck into your hand again and you kiss your teeth and smile up at him. “Look at you.” You kiss the base of his cock before trailing kisses up until you reach his tip, kissing it even softer and licking the precum off of your lips. “Taste so good.” Your words seem to affect him strongly as he throws his head back and lets out a breathy whine.
“Please, Y/N, Please.” You’re not exactly sure what he’s begging for but you take it as encouragement to finally press your tongue flat against his tip, then guide yourself down to take more of him into your mouth. “Oh God .” He’s moaning louder this time and you know for sure that your friends can hear him from downstairs.
You pull off of him before immediately sinking back down, taking all of him in your mouth this time. The feeling of him sliding down your throat makes you moan around him and you feel his body jerk at the new sense of stimulation. You bob your head and feel the way his fingers tighten the grip he has on your hair, more moans and whimpers slipping from his lips.
Each sound he makes arouses you more and you don’t even realize that you’ve positioned yourself over his foot before you’re grinding down, moaning at the contact between his foot and your core. He opens his eyes and looks down at you in shock, not realizing how arousing the view from above was. The angle gives him access from the top of your head to your butt, watching how your seducing eyes flutter closed when you take him down your throat and the way your hips move fluidly while you grind down onto his foot.
You open your eyes and pull off of him, jerking him in your hand, eyes wide as you watch his brows furrow with flushed cheeks and his breathing turns uneven. “D-don’t look at me like that.” He sounds so close and you know he’s trying to hold back and impress you by not cumming too fast. “You sound so sexy.” You swirl your tongue around his tip while keeping eye contact with him. “Fuck.” He’s breathing harder and you know he’s seconds away from finishing.
“You going to cum for me baby?” The nickname pushes him right over the edge as he takes one last deep breath before letting out the sweetest whine, and you take the opportunity to take him back into your mouth, just in time to feel his cum spurting down your throat. You continue to suck until he’s lifting you off of him by your hair, and your mouth leaves his cock with an audible pop.
You lick any remaining release from your lips and make your way to stand up as he tucks himself back into his boxers and slide his jeans back up his legs. When he finishes buttoning them you’re climbing back onto his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck.
You kiss him softly, half surprised by the fact that he let you as if he didn’t care that you just had him finish in your mouth, and half aroused at the same time. “You did so good, Hee.” You praise him as you pull away and you don’t miss the way he still blushes at your compliments. “What about you?” He whispers against your lips and you give him a quick peck before pulling away to cup his face. “What about me?” You ask and he looks down at his lap and mumbles almost too quietly for you to hear. “Wanna make you feel good too.” Your heart warms at his words and you shake your head in response before kissing him again. “Taking care of you is enough for me, don’t worry about that.” Your voice is stern but caring and he nods before tucking his face in your your neck.
“I could go for a nap, you wanna join me?” You pick his face up and kiss the tip of his nose and he nods, letting you climb off of his lap and into your bed, then lays next to you as you tuck yourself into the sheets.
You turn to your side and he lays behind you, pulling you close with his arms wrapped around you, inhaling the scent of your perfume. Your breathing syncs with each other’s and you soon hear his soft snores coming from behind you, and you smile to yourself, wishing you could stay like this forever.
The first thing you notice when you wake up is that it’s cold. Your bed is no longer kept warm from the heat of Heeseung’s body against yours, and your heart breaks a little at the idea of him leaving you already.
You’re not usually the type of person to keep contact after a hookup, but something about your relationship with Heeseung feels different. Even through the little time you’ve gotten to know each other, you feel like it’s been years- like the years you could’ve gotten to know Heeseung in if it weren’t for conflicting schedules.
Making your way downstairs you can hear your friends’ voices chatting away until they hear your heavy, sleepy footsteps. Rounding the corner, you find all three boys in the kitchen with Jay cooking ramen while Sunghoon and Jake sit at the table sipping on bottles of beer.
“Well good morning sleeping beauty.” Jay pats your shoulder as you grunt in response, opening the fridge and taking a long sip of cold water. “It’s like 5pm.” You rasp out as you take a seat sitting next to your friends. “It’s 8pm.” Sunghoon chuckles before taking a swig of his beer and turning to you, smoothing out your bedhead.
“What!?” Your eyes widen and you look around frantically before Sunghoon places his hand atop yours, pulling your attention back to him. “Relax, Heeseung left not too long ago- said he had something to get back to at home.” The three boys could see your frown forming and noticed the your eyes stayed glued to the table.
“Don’t worry, he left this.” Jake slaps a sticky note on the table in front of you, winking before getting up and grabbing another beer. You examine the sticky note and your jaw drops into a long ‘O’ shape. “He gave me his number!?” You squeal and almost jump from your seat, knocking your knees against Sunghoon’s.
“God, how are you so hyper after waking up.” He says it more as a statement than a question and you just give him a sarcastic smile before turning towards Jake instead. “Where did he leave it? Because I know he wouldn’t just leave it on the table for anyone to see.” You narrow your eyes at Jake in suspicion and he quickly darts his eyes away nervously.
“Jake.” You say his name sternly and you notice how he tenses and takes another sip of beer. “Jake were you snooping again?” You barely get your sentence out as he’s already defending himself. “I wasn’t I swear! When he left I went in your room to check on you and make sure you were okay and…clothed.”
Your face morphs into a confused disgust, “Pervert! Why would you care if I had clothes on or not!?” His mouth opens in shock as he shakes his head rapidly. “God, Y/N don’t make me say it!” He’s suddenly covering his face to hide his embarrassment while you’re sent into deeper confusion. “Say what!?” You’re standing up and hovering over the table, irritated at how difficult Jake is being.
“I wanted to make sure he didn’t just up and leave after fucking you! I wanted to make sure you actually had proper aftercare and he didn’t just cum and go!” Jake is slamming his hands on the table and you hear Sunghoon snicker beside you at the pun Jake may or may not have realized he used.
“What? Why would he do that?” You’re lowering your voice this time and it cracks softly while you speak. Jake sighs and taps his fingertips against the glass of his beer bottle. “Because every time you’re actually interested in a guy-more than just hookup, you’re left hurt when they leave not wanting more.” He’s making eye contact with you now and you slowly sit back down.
“Well” you start speaking but your voice comes out soft and weary. “How do you know that I want more than a hookup with him?” You immediately regret asking, knowing well that the boys can see right through you. “You wouldn’t just give a random hookup a blowjob and not expect anything in return.” Jake is giving you a “duh” face and you just gasp in shock.
“He told you!?” You’re perking up in your seat and you see Sunghoon cover his ears when you yell. “Are you never not yelling?” Sunghoon is wincing at his now ringing ears and you just mumble an apology before turning your attention back to Jake. “More like he forced the poor guy to confess.” Jay is setting the fresh ramen on the table and you roll your eyes at his response.
“Don’t tell me you threatened him.” Jake shakes his head with an offended look on his face. “Of course not! I was going to but I could see how shy he looked. He just told me you sucked him off and took a nap after.” Jake stuffs his mouth with food like a caveman after speaking, giving you time to reflect on their interaction.
“Why did you come check on me if he told you we didn’t have sex?” It’s your turn to stuff your face and Jake wipes his mouth with the back of his hand like a toddler. “You know I don’t quite trust him yet. Just had to make sure he wasn’t lying.” He gives you soft, caring eyes and you feel your heart warm at the sense of comfort. “Thank you, Jake.” You smile at him but it drops he shakes his head.
“Wasn’t just me.” He nods his head towards Sunghoon and Jay who pause suddenly. “They kept him from leaving while I checked on you.” The other two boys nod and first bump over the bowls of ramen. “I know you guys are caring and brotherly like, but he probably thought he was going to die.” You’re giggling at the thought of a wide-eyed Heeseung standing stiff against your wall with your two scariest looking friends staring him down.
Sunghoon laughs, almost choking on his ramen while Jay slides him a bottle of water to help soothe his throat. “He did! It was hilarious but I gave him a nice pat on the shoulder and he eased up a bit.” Sunghoon was speaking in between coughs and you rub his back, encouraging him to not irritate his burning throat more.
“Don’t worry about his phone number, I already called it while Jake was checking on you and his phone buzzed in his pocket so we know it’s not a fake pitty number.” Jay watches for your reaction and when speaks again. “So now I have his number in case of an emergency.” He teases and you slump in your seat with a heavy sigh.
“Geez, okay dad.” You tease him back and he grabs the sticky note, sliding it over and sticking it onto the table in front of you. “Now text him.”
When you texted Heeseung and he responded right away, you weren’t quite expecting to stay up all night talking to him. You had asked him to call you around 1am and you giggled at how the read symbol stayed under your message for a solid minute until he was calling you. Even over the phone he would stutter when you ask him a slightly suggestive question or subtly flirt with him.
You had spent hours sending each other old photos from when you were younger, some even from the yearbook as you pointed out the different clubs and sports teams you were in. You laughed together when you pointed out how different you had both become, realize how long it has been since you had first met Heeseung. You had sent him pictures from your social media, bragging about the fun trips you took or the friends you had made.
You sat with a soft smile on your face when you sent him a picture of your three friends posing with bright smiles and bright silver hair. You had explained to him that during the past summer, you and your friends weren’t able to leave the city like usual so you all decided to dye your hair silver for fun.
Despite not seeing anyone over the summer, Heeseung can recall seeing your friend group return back to school with faded dirty blonde hair. You brag about how well you did for box dye, going on about how all four of you looked so sexy and that you think Jake’s looked the coolest because he kept the tips of his hair black. Heeseung gets quiet on the other line and you’d think he had fallen asleep if it weren’t for him suddenly clearing his throat and changing the topic, something about his older brother graduating a high ranking university soon.
When you both got quiet after a while and heard the soft snores coming from his side of the call, you whispered a goodnight to him and had a mental debate with yourself to decide whether or not you should hang up. You decided against the idea and fell asleep to the sound of Heeseung’s breathing.
You woke up to find that Heeseung ended the call not long after you fell asleep, but when you read his good morning text your heart warmed.
“‘Good morning beautiful, I’m sorry I hung up early last night, my phone died haha -sweating emoji- can’t wait to see you in class’.” A blinding smile was plastered on your face while you read the text out loud. You met up with your three friends to walk to class, texting the groupchat in all capital letters that you had something important to show them.
“Cringe.” Sunghoon scrunched his face in disgust, soon dropping it into a pout after you pinch him harshly. “It’s okay Hoonie I know you’re just jealous.” You tease, wrapping your hands around his arm and pulling him against you. “Stop it Y/N! You’re scaring the hoes.” Sunghoon pushed you off of him and into Jay who catches you with an arm around your waist.
“What hoes, Hoon? You lost your virginity last year and haven’t been with a girl since.” Jake is the one to tease this time, bringing up a funny memory for your friend group. “Oh my God that’s right! Were you that bad in bed that not one girl in this school wants to fuck you?” You giggle at your continuous attacks on your friend as he just gives an offended glare, opening up his mouth to speak before he’s interrupted.
“I think it’s because he has some slut clinging onto him and two other guys 24/7.” The four of you stop walking and turn to the closest bench, finding a group of girls with evil smirks resting on their too-perfect faces.
“What did you just say?” You harshly rip Jay’s arm off of your waist and make your way up to the friend group, your own following behind you. “Oh, did I hit a nerve?” The same girl fake pouts at you while her minions giggle to themselves and you clench your fists at the sneakiness lingering in her voice. “No but I’m about to hit you in the fucking face-“ You’re cut off by Jay who is covering you mouth with his hand and pulling you backwards towards your friends.
“Okayyy! I’m going to stop you right there, thank you.” Jay announces loudly, anyone who wasn’t aware of the situation before was definitely aware now with the amount of heads that turned in your direction. With a quick turn and an arm over your shoulder, you’re guided away from the group of girls who watch you leave with the same smirks that haven’t left their lips.
“Jay you’re embarrassing me.” You’re trying to shove Jay’s heavy arm off of you, which only results in you being tugged closer towards his body. “Oh, I’m the one embarrassing you?” He shoots you a disbelieving expression and then shakes his head. “You were about to rip her eyelashes off!” Jay pokes you in the temple as a sign of playfulnesses, showing you that he’s not actually that mad at you.
“Yeah I would’ve ripped out her falsies and then her real ones.” You finally wiggle out of Jay’s reach and stand on the opposite side of Jake, using his body as a barrier. Jake now looks at you and covers one of his eyes with his hand, muttering an ‘ouch’ and you just nod as if you were telling him that’s exactly why that was your chosen threat.
“Alright relax, I don’t think Heeseung would want his girl getting into fights over some rumors.” Sunghoon shoots you a somewhat reassuring glance along with his words. You just sigh and can’t help but wonder if they’re actually more than just rumors. “Speak of the devil.” Jake mumbles just loud enough for your group to hear as you open the door to your music lecture.
All four of you stop in your tracks at the sight of a bright sliver head of hair sitting at the seat next to your own. “Is that…” Sunghoon trails off in awe as Jake’s jaw goes slack “No way.” His thick accented voice dropping to an almost inaudible whisper. “Heeseung?” You walk ahead of the group, laying a hand on Heeseung’s shoulder to catch his attention.
The boy turns and his eyes light up immediately at the sight of you. “Your hair…” you trail off as you reach up to run a hand through his hair. “Do you…do you like it?” You can hear the neediness for reassurance in his voice, like he only cared about what you think. “Yeah” you breathe out as if you were scared to express your true feelings, “You look sexy.”
His ears visibly darken to a deep red color, taken aback at your forwardness. “Damn right he does!” You hear Jake hype up Heeseung as he offers a fist bump before sitting in his seat next to you.
Throughout the lecture, everything your professor said went in one ear and out the other while your main focus was Heeseung. The way his new hair complimented his complexion perfectly was almost inhumane, and you felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Of course, you can’t just climb onto his lap and hold him down while you eat his face in the middle of class, so you opt to do what you do best with Heeseung; make him nervous.
After befriending and become more than just friends with the boy, you’ve learned just how sensitive he is everywhere. Any time you rest a hand even on his knee or slightly brush an arm against his, he stiffens and looks down expectantly. So, with the desire to feel something, anything, you softly place your hand on his thigh and lightly tap your fingers. Through your peripheral vision can see Heeseung peering down at you through his own, and you grow impatient with his lack of common response.
As you decide to trail your hand up his thigh, he suddenly grips your wrist almost painfully tight just before you reach the crotch of his pants. You look up annoyed at your failed attempt of teasing him and lock eyes as he shakes his head, as if he’s warning you, even daring you to try again. Placing your hand back in your own lap, he focuses back on the lecture and tries not to react to the way you’re suddenly shifting in your chair.
“Is it just me or is it a bit hot in here guys?” You whisper to your surrounding friends as you fan yourself as an attempt to make your question sound genuine. Sunghoon leans over the table and gives you a stern look before kissing his teeth and scolding you, “I told you that sweater was too thick for this heat! But no! You never listen to me!”. He’s whining in an aggressive whisper but you ignore him and grab the hem of your knitted sweater and bring it over your head.
As your thin black, very cropped tank top is now visible, you can’t help but smirk at Heeseung’s wandering eyes. You notice the way his prominent Adam’s Apple bobs when he swallows harshly, and the way he quickly directs his eyes away when you catch him staring down the area of your back.
“What’s wrong, Hee? You getting hot too?” You lean toward him on your desk, crossing your arms under your chest as the pressure enhances your cleavage. “Just a bit.” He states blankly, keeping his eyes staring straight towards the front of the room. You watch as his eyes flick down towards the watch on his wrist but before you can also check the time, he’s grabbing his backpack.
Just as you’re about to ask where he’s going, the bell rings and he shoots up from his seat. He collects his laptop and notebook quickly, and you wonder if you maybe pushed him too far if he’s that eager to get away from you. He catches you off guard as he suddenly grabs your backpack, also putting your things away before grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the class before your friends could follow.
After becoming closer to Heeseung both emotionally and sexually, you were 99% sure that you could predict his every move. From the way he stiffens to your small touches or trails his eyes from your own down to your lips every time you speak, nothing he does ever surprises you anymore.
However, now that he finally snapped and pulled you into a room not far from your lecture, you’re suddenly questioning the soft, shy, submissive nature that you may have mistaken him for.
Pulling you into the indoor hallway behind him, you have no time to adjust as he’s pulling you into another room and you’re suddenly pressed against the closed door. Everything happens so fast, you’re almost unable to register the feeling of his lips attacking your neck, licking and sucking everywhere so that no area is left dry.
In fear of his sudden change in demeanor, you place your palms on his chest and push him off of you, just enough to look him in the eyes. “Heeseung, what are you doing?” You’re whispering harshly, afraid that anyone passing by in the hallway may hear.
“What am I doing?” He takes a small step closer but it’s still enough to have the tips of your shoes now touching his. “What are you doing? Touching me in class like that? Undressing yourself like that?” Your lip quirks up, realizing that your earlier teasing was working. “I told you, it was getting hot in there.” You look up at him innocently, softly running a hand through his freshly dyed hair.
“And I couldn’t help myself. Couldn’t keep my hands off of you after seeing this.” You harshly tug on his hair on the last word and he lets out a whimper, but he’s quick to keep himself from falling back into the same headspace. Unsatisfied with his reaction, you pull his hair harder and this time he bends down to crash his lips against yours.
He spins you around, walking you across the room until the back of your knees hit something and he pushes you down onto what you realize is a couch. He takes his backpack off of his back and sets it on the chair in front of the sound-mixing board, while you lay comfortable on the couch. Laying sideways on the furniture puts you in the perfect position to grab onto Heeseung’s belt, pulling him on top of you to quickly reconnect your lips.
Heeseung wastes no time, putting one hand on your waist and the other by your head to hold himself up as he pins you into the sofa. Using his advantage of being on top, he keeps you pinned onto the cushions as he rolls his hips into yours, groaning at the feeling of his hard-on making contact with your core. You struggle to kiss him back as your mouth parts at the new feeling, and he takes this opportunity to easily slide his tongue into your mouth, explore everywhere with his wet muscle.
You moan loudly as he keeps rolling his hips into you, and he seems to realize that you had both forgotten you’re in a public area. Without pulling away, he grabs onto your thighs and lifts you up, walking further into the room and up to another door next to the mixing board. One of his hands leaves your thighs and you hear a few clicking noises but before you can open your eyes to check what he’s doing, he’s opening opening the door and walking you inside of the small booth.
Pulling the chair by the microphone closer to you, he sets you down onto it and goes back to close the door. “This room is soundproof.” He walks back to you and drops to his knees, gripping your thighs and forcing them open before he settles between them. “Means you can be as loud as you want.” He’s rubbing his palms on your thighs the same way you did to him, then moves his hands to the button of your jeans.
“Can I?” He only speaks two words but you nod your head almost embarrassingly fast, lifting your hips so he can pull your pants down with ease. You recently started wondering how Heeseung would react to seeing you in your underwear, but nothing could prepare you for the way he grips your hips, pulling you almost all the way out of your seat. He grabs both of your ankles, pulling your legs to rest over his shoulders and you have to contain the squeal you want to let out as he bites down onto one of your thighs.
Licking over the bite mark, his hand comes up to slap the side of your ass as punishment. “I told you already, pretty.” He switches to the other thigh, biting down again and leaving a matching bite mark before soothing the pain with his tongue for the second time today. “You can be loud.” With his repeated permission, you whine at the feeling of him pressing a soft kiss to your clit through your underwear.
“Please Hee, I need it.” You grind your hips forward into nothing but air and grip the sides of the chair tight. “Yeah? Want me to eat this pretty pussy?” His hot breath fans over your covered cunt as he speaks, and you gasp when he’s shoving his face further, inhaling your sweet scent.
You watch as he licks a long stripe up your slit, still covered by your panties before he pulls them to the side frustratingly slow. Your whines turn into moans as he licks under stripe, the time without the thin panties in the way. He wastes no time, diving into your core and licking, sucking, slurping everywhere and everything.
Your thighs shake and clench around his head and he moans into your core as you reach with one hand to grab his hair. The same hair that caused this mess, the same hair that you coincidentally showed him an inspiring picture of the night before. You couldn’t think too deeply about it as one of his hands is reaching up to your tank top, pulling the front down along with the cups of your bra.
You throw your head back as the cold air hits your nipples, but is soon replaced by Heeseung’s warm and wet mouth. You look back down to see his lips attached to one of your sensitive buds while his eyes are wide and expecting as he looks up at you. Just the image of the doe-eyed boy you always knew makes another whine escape from your throat.
Heeseung is doing great as his tongue plays with your nipple and his fingers rub circles on your clit, but you need more. “Hee” you whimper and he blinks in response. “Use your fingers, baby. Inside me—please.” You roll your hips forward while Heeseung’s hand stops the previous movements and you come to the realization that he hasn’t actually done this before.
Lifting your hand that isn’t in his hair, you grab his wrist and guide him, rubbing his fingers over your slick before letting him push one into you. Even just one finger was enough to make your back arch, his large hands reaching places your own couldn’t. He experimentally curls his finger, grinning at the way your eyebrows furrow and your mouth goes slack. He continues his movements for a few seconds, then adds a second finger and you loose all ability to think.
With your back arching off the chair and your head falling back, Heeseung takes this as a sign to thrust and curl his fingers faster, attaching his lips back to your hard nipple while your own hand releases his wrist to play with the other sensitive bud. Heeseung’s lips leave your nipple to kiss down your body, making his way back to your cunt, licking and sucking almost painfully on your clit, all while speeding up the pace of his fingers inside of you.
His new rough touches send you over the edge, gripping the back of his head tightly, keeping it pressed against you while you grind yourself on his wet tongue. The sight of him sitting between your legs is so overwhelming, causing a knot to form in your lower belly. With his fingers pumping inside of you, mouth open with his pretty pink tongue sticking out for you to use for your own pleasure, and his somehow still innocent looking eyes watching your face as you lose yourself, you feel yourself becoming lightheaded as you come undone.
As soon as you think you’re having a regular orgasm, Heeseung wraps his lips around your clit again, sucking harshly. That’s all it took for you to squeeze your eyes shut, a loud moan of Heeseung’s name escaping your throat as you feel your lower half become warm and wet while Heeseung continues sucking and plunging his fingers in and out of you.
The overwhelming feeling doesn’t stop or even weaken and you open your eyes and look down, now realizing you’re squirting for the first time in your life. Watching as your juices seem to gush out of you, you can’t take your eyes off of Heeseung’s now soaking wet face. His eyes are glossy and shining, while his nose, cheeks, and chin are glistening from your squirt as he finally pulls away once you’ve come down from your high.
“Wow…” Heeseung seems dazed as he can’t take his eyes off of your leaking hole. You grab his chin with your fingers, leading him up to your face to capture his wet lips into a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. “I’ve never squirted before, Hee.” You pull back to wipe his sticky wet cheeks and you swear you feel them heat up from your words.
“Guess we both had firsts today.” He pecks your lips and smiles at you and your heart aches at the proud look on his face. Feeling the urge to reassure him, you pull him into a hug and hover your lips by his ear. “M’ so proud of you, baby. Did so good for me.” He whines at your compliment, pulling away from the hug to bring you back into a bruising kiss.
“So you’re telling me” Jake pokes a finger into your arm before before pointing it back towards himself, “That when Heeseung took you to the studio room, you just talked?” Jake shoves a fry into his mouth and sends you a disbelieving look when you simply nod your head. “Bullshit.” Jay is speaking from across from you after taking a giant bite out of his burger.
You roll your eyes when you catch a glimpse of his chewed up food and kick his leg under the table, “You’re disgusting.” Jay returns your kick causing a sharp pain in your shin and you mumble curses at him while rubbing the sore spot. Jay then sends a few verbal hits towards you after he finishes chewing his bite, “You’re one to talk! I’m starting to think you have a exhibitionism kink with how often you and your boyfriend get it on in public.”
You grab your cup and bite your straw in annoyance, avoiding eye contact as you’re ashamed your friend might be right. “First of all, he’s not my boyfriend, and second of all, we’re not ‘getting it on’ in public, I just sucked him off that one time at home and he only returned the favor in the studio room.” You quickly realize your mistake when Jake is slamming a heavy palm on the table next to you and practically screeching in your ear.
“Ha! I knew it! There’s no way your corruptive ass is able to hold a private conversation with a shy guy like Heeseung without pouncing on him!” On the other side of the table, Jay fist bumps Jake while Sunghoon is choking on his milkshake, eyes tearing up as it comes out of his nose. You scrunch your face up in disgust while handing a few napkins over to your poor friend.
“Whatever guys, so what if I’m sexually active with him? It’s not like he’s the first guy I’ve been with.” You once again bite down on the flimsy plastic of your straw, staring down at your fingers that are tapping on the bright red coloring of the old burger joint’s table.
Jay points a finger up in a “matter of fact” manner as he tilts his head in a playful way. “You know he’s the first guy you’ve been with that actually has a massive crush on you though. Just saying, obsession is not a joke and you know how dangerous some guys could be when they’re crazy about a girl.”
Jay’s word make you rethink your whole relationship with Heeseung, realizing that most of the guys you’ve been with were just casual hookups or friends with benefits situations. The types of relationships that took mutual agreements and setting boundaries in order to keep until eventually one of you got bored with the other. With Heeseung, you hadn’t discussed those boundaries and just assumed that’s what he had wanted. Now, with Jay shooting you a knowing look, you realize you may have fucked up.
“Well…what if he doesn’t want a relationship? I could just be a booty call to him.” You shrug and try to ignore the way Sunghoon and Jake both start rambling about how naive and oblivious you seem to be. “Y/N, I love you and all, but I genuinely can’t tell if you’re being a dumb bitch or being in denial.” Sunghoon pats your hand in a comforting way while the other two boys nod their heads in agreement. “Yeah you’ve seen how he looks at you! No man looks at his booty call with heart eyes.” Jake pokes your temple and you swat his hand away.
“He could also just be looking at me with ‘fuck me’ eyes.” You retort what you think is a reasonable answer, until Jay is speaking from across from you again. “But it’s Heeseung, I don’t think he’s even held a girl’s hand before. ‘Fuck me’ eyes could be a big deal to him if he finds sex more than just casual. He’s not like you and you know that.” Sunghoon wipes his fake tears and pats Jay on the back like a proud father, “I think that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”
Jay rolls his eyes and takes the last bite of his burger, uncomfortable with his friend who is now pinching his cheeks. Next to you, Jake places his now empty cup down and turns to you. His eyes are burning holes into your face as you avoid eye contact, not wanting to continue the discussion any longer. “I know you’re internally freaking out right now.” Jake nudges your shoulder with his own, “How about you sleep on it and maybe talk to Heeseung about it tomorrow?”
He gives you his best supportive look and you feel grateful that at least one of your friends is actually trying to be helpful. You slowly nod your head, lost in your thoughts of Heeseung and you can’t help but feel nervous about having such a serious conversation with him.
“Alright!” Jay claps his hands and scares you out of your thoughts. “Let’s hit the road!” He quickly stands up from the table and Sunghoon squeezes out of the booth following him with a snort, “Okay what are you, a dad?” Your smile at Sunghoon’s comment quickly turns into a frown of disgust as Jay corrects, “Actually, it’s dad-dy, thank you very much.”
As Sunghoon pushes the doors of the restaurant wide open mimicking a grand exit, all four of you stop in your tracks as a very tall, silver headed and doe eyed boy is also stopping. “Heeseung? What are you doing here?” You curse yourself for asking such a stupid question, but you’re caught off guard by the boy’s perky answer. “Oh! I um- I was just here to pick up my cousin. He needed a ride home.” He’s looking at the floor and kicking the small pebbles, rolling them under his shoe.
Your mouth makes an ‘o’ shape and you nod, suddenly uncomfortable with the awkward atmosphere. “What about you guys?” Heeseung also asks a stupid question and you notice the way he disappointedly shakes his head at himself. “We stayed at school a little later to work on our projects so we just decided to get dinner here before they drop me off at home.” You glance shyly at the taller boy, still in awe of how angelic he looks with his new hair.
“Oh you must be tired then! I’ll let you get home, uh, see you tomorrow?” He stutters out and you smile to yourself. “Yeah, Hee, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You walk by him and pat his arm as your friends follow behind you. “That was so painful to watch.” Sunghoon shivers, which in return gets him demoted to the back seat of the car while you steal the front.
“You’re not gonna kill me are you?”
Heeseung wishes he was joking but after you sent him the infamous ‘can we talk?’ text, he couldn’t stop sweating and overthinking what you could’ve possibly wanted to talk about. “If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t be meeting up with you under a giant tree in the middle of campus.” You giggle as you sit down on the old bench, patting the spot next to you.
As Heeseung sits down, you can’t help the small blush that heats up your cheeks at how close he decided to sit. Close enough that he’s suddenly wrapping an arm around your shoulder and tugging you to sit with your thigh pressing against his. You turn to him with wide eyes and he immediately caves into himself, snaking his arm back towards his own body.
“Sorry- I just thought maybe you’d like that but I guess I should’ve known not to…considering I can guess the reason we’re here.” He mumbles while watching his hands fidget with each other in his lap, and you feel a pang in your heart at his sudden drop in confidence. “No, Hee.” You grab his anxious hands, holding both of them in between yours, “I did want to talk to you about that, but not for the reason you think.”
He visibly perks up, eyes bright and hopeful but his teeth are still nibbling nervously on his bottom lip. “I know we kind of started off fast- with this whole thing between us…” He nods attentively as you speak, “and I know I never really asked you what we are.” Heeseung’s heart beats faster with every word you speak.
“That’s just something I’m used to- having no solid labels on relationships but I understand if that’s not what you want.” Heeseung gulps harshly as he lets you ramble, already knowing his answer to your upcoming question. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I genuinely really like you, and if you wanna-“ Your confession is cut short by the annoying ringing of a phone, and you break eye contact with Heeseung to check who is interrupting your rant.
Of course, it’s Sunghoon screeching on the other line. “Y/N! The boys and I need help with our projects so we’re coming to you! Where are you? Under the tree? We’ll check there for you.” Before you can speak a word, Sunghoon is cutting off your argument, “But-“ “No buts! We’re on our way.”
You give Heeseung an apologetic smile that quickly falls when your friends are already walking up to you. “Do you seriously need my help? You guys have taken more music classes than me!” You stand up and dust off any dirt left on your clothes. “Well…we just missed you and wanted to work on our projects together.” Jay is wrapping an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder and the younger groans. “I don’t know why this guy lied, we know you would’ve agreed either way.”
You roll your eyes and sling your backpack onto your shoulder, obviously annoyed at your friends who interrupted your moment with Heeseung, once again. “You’re lucky I love you guys, and I haven’t even started my project yet.” You walk away as your four friends follow behind, tripping over each others feet.
The five of you make it into the music building, making your way through the indoor hallway and decide to work in one of the recording studios. You shyly glance at Heeseung to see him already looking at you. “What?” He leans over towards you once you sit on the studio couch and pull out your laptops. “Flashbacks?” His hand finds your thigh and you’re quick to pull it off, just in time for your other three friends to turn around and start a conversation.
“So what is the project about anyways?” Jake had obviously not been listening during the past few lectures. Jay sets his laptop down next to Jake’s, opening up his notebook which was filled with different information on music theory and genres. “Just experiment with the tools and see what comes easiest to you. Personally, I find alternative rock a fitting style for myself.”
You look over at Heeseung and find him already staring at you, something unrecognizable lingering in his eyes. “Hee?” You nudge him and brush a strand of hair off of his face. “You okay?” Your voice seems to snap him out, and he blinks rapidly before apologizing. “Was just zoning out I guess.” He starts taping away on his own laptop and you giggle at the Toy Story picture he has saved as his background.
“What about you Heeseung? Did you start yet?” Jay asks while reclining in his chair, arms stretching above his head as his shirt lifts up to show a sliver of honey skin. “Uhh, yeah I did start actually. I only have a few bars done though.” Heeseung doesn’t move his gaze from his computer screen as he chews on his bottom lip, a nervous habit you’ve picked up on.
“Play it.” Jay motions towards Heeseung, giving him an expecting look. “Alright…” Heeseung still hasn’t taken his eyes off of his screen, adjusting the volume before pressing play. A deep bass is heard with a few vocal effects added in, and you’re all nodding your heads to the rhythm when your heart drops at a sudden beat change.
Within the first ten seconds of the song, a moan of Heeseung’s name is heard loud and clear, followed by a beat signaling to lead the song into a more R&B feel. You pause, a chill crawling up your spine as you look over at Heeseung who has a proud smirk relaxed onto his face.
The song ends and he presses the space bar to pause it, quickly glancing over to the four of you to find your reactions. “So?” He relaxes back on the couch that suddenly feels too small for the two of you. “What do you guys think?” He’s overly cocky, something you have yet to get used to. “It’s really good…” Jake is speaking hesitantly while looking next to him at Sunghoon, who just nods his head in agreement. “But…what was that at the beginning?” His question makes your heart pound, knowing exactly what he’s referring to.
“What? My producer tag?” Heeseung has a causal smile on his lips. “It’s sexy isn’t it? Of course I had some help.” He places an arm around your shoulder and winks at you, but you’re quick to shove him off of you and run out of the room.
You don’t get far when you hear the studio door opening, and then the loud shut of the door echoing through the music building hallway. “What’s wrong, pretty?” Heeseung lands a hand on your shoulder, spinning you around shoving you against the wall. He places his forearm above your head, leaning in uncomfortably close. You have tears pouring down your cheeks but your face is stone cold.
“Isn’t this what you wanted?” He leans in and his nose brushes against yours. One of his hands is suddenly grabbing your chin, turning your face so his nose is nudging your cheek bone instead. You squeeze your eyes shut and feel his lips gently kiss your jaw. Heeseung then sticks his tongue out, licking a long stripe from your jaw to your eye, collecting the freshly fallen tear that had collected on your cheek.
The sensation of his warm, wet muscle dragging along your face makes your stomach turn in both disgust and something you’d be too ashamed to admit. “You wanted to be mine, no?” He brings your face back to look at him and presses a soft kiss to your quivering bottom lip. “Wanted everyone to know you’re mine?” His words make heat pool in your lower stomach and you subconsciously close your legs tight, rubbing your thighs together softly.
“Look at you.” He coos, running a hand through your hair. “You like this, hm? So dirty.” His words make you nod instinctively and he smiles at how easily you fold for him. “Why don’t we get back in there, don’t want to worry your boys.” You nod instinctively again, bringing a hand up to wipe your face and walk away as Heeseung follows behind.
You enter the room hesitantly, cheeks burning from embarrassment as your friends’ eyes are filled with worry. You avoid eye contact when sitting back down, immediately burning holes into the screen of your laptop so you didn’t have to face the awkward atmosphere. Heeseung sits next to you and places a hand on your thigh, fingers gently tapping to a random rhythm.
You let out a shaky breath and try to change the subject, hoping to get everyone’s eyes off of you. “Who wants to play theirs next?”
Resentment
Anger
Shame
You couldn’t shake the embarrassment you felt for the rest of the day. Hanging out with your friends never felt so humiliating, even after you had gotten home and relaxed in bed, you couldn’t help the tears from falling. Yet, you weren’t finding yourself angry at Heeseung. Just angry at how embarrassed you had felt afterwards.
Of course, with such a close friend group there wasn’t such thing of hiding secretes or being “too extreme”. Your friends were your everything and had been there with you throughout all of your relationships, hearing every single detail from your side.
However, having your sexuality exposed by someone else felt humiliating and destructive. You knew Heeseung hadn’t necessarily meant to humiliate you in front of your friends, despite not knowing the actual reason for him using such a private moment in such a light manner.
No matter how embarrassed you felt, you couldn’t bring yourself to be upset at him. Even after you cried yourself to sleep that night, and even after you had spent the whole next day sulking in bed. Eventually your friends were sick of pitying you and decided to plan a movie night at your apartment; showing up with snacks and stacks of movies, grabbing you by the ankles and dragging you out of bed.
As you sat on the couch while your friends argued over which movie to watch first, you couldn’t help but zone out with your head flooding with thoughts of Heeseung. As if your brains Bluetooth connected, Jake leaned over to comfort you, something you’d never get tired of.
“I know you’re thinking about him.” He sends you a firm glance, communicating that you have no reason in lying. “Do you miss him?” You nod insecurely at his question, ashamed to admit it. “Why don’t you invite him? I know we’re doing this to get your mind off of him but maybe it’ll help if you just talk to him.” Jake rubs your back gently and you take a deep breath, releasing it as you whisper in agreement.
Now, you’re sat with Heeseung on your bed while your friends watch horror movies and eat the snacks they brought for you. “I don’t want them to interrupt us again so I’m just gonna get straight to the point.” You glance at Heeseung before looking away towards a poster on your wall. “I like you a lot, Hee. And I know you feel the same, and I know you want us to be exclusive. So, I think we have to set some boundaries and know exactly what we want in a relationship if you really want to be with me.” Heeseung nods along to everything you say, and you start listing off the expectations you have for him as he does the same.
You haven’t realized how much time had passed while talking to Heeseung until you notice the silence coming from downstairs, and you peek your head out of your door to hear three different sets of snores coming from your friends. You sit back on your bed and take note of how comfortable Heeseung looks next to you.
Of course, this isn’t the first time you had Heeseung in your room sitting on your bed. However, it was the first time you had gone this long with him on your bed without lunging at him. That didn’t last long though as you’re suddenly climbing onto his lap, pressing your lips harshly against his.
“Missed you so much.” You’re mumbling against his lips and he’s pulling back to laugh at you. “It’s only been like two days, you’re that obsessed with me?” His teasing makes you blush and duck your head into his neck. “You’ve literally liked me since high school and I’m the one obsessed with you?” You’re arguing back and now Heeseung is the one blushing.
Instead of responding, he connects your lips and flips over, laying you softly against the bed. Your tongue invades his mouth and he welcomes it eagerly, whining into the kiss as he sucks on your bottom lip. “For not having much experience you’re so good at kissing, Hee.” You compliment him and notice the way his eyes glimmer with confidence.
“Better than Jake?” His question catches you off guard and you’re confused until you realize what he’s referencing. “What- how do you know about that?” You’re sitting up now, slowly scooting away from Heeseung. “Well, it wasn’t exactly like you guys were hiding in a private area.” His hand finds your cheek and caresses it, thumb playing with your bottom lip.
You sit still in shock, not realizing that Heeseung had known one of your most private secrets for so long. “I mean, behind the school? You know so many kids go back there to do God knows what, I just happened to be back there and seen you guys.” As he speaks, your fingers are playing with your bed sheet nervously, twisting the fabric until your fingertips turn white.
“Do you know how upset I was?” He was puling you back under him by your waist, kissing you harshly with no time to react. “To see him get what I wanted? To see him touch what’s mine.” You’re looking up at him in pure shock, not realizing how badly he had wanted you for so long.
“That was just a one time thing- you know that!” You’re quick to defend yourself but Heeseung just caresses your cheek and smiles. “I know baby, I know you only want me now.” You nod against his lips as he kisses you again, before he pulls away for the nth time. “Wont let anyone else have you. You’re mine now.” One hand finds your throat and gently squeezes as the other still cups your cheek, feeling the way your jaw moves while your tongue laps against his.
Releasing your lips from his own, he kisses your from your chin down to your jaw and neck, gently sucking the warm skin before making his way to your collarbone. His hands travel up your sides, squeezing the flesh of your waist comfortingly and you ease into his touch.
“Heeseung…” you whine as he nips at the skin covering your collarbone, leaving small barely-visible teeth marks. “Heeseung, I need you.” He smiles against your neck, inhaling your addicting natural scent. Your hands grab his hips, pulling him closer as you shift your own upwards, chasing the friction of your bodies together.
He takes this opportunity to grind his hips down, immediately groaning at the feeling of your core against him. Your hands slide up his back and into his hair, pulling him down to kiss you again. As your lips connect, you’re caught in a mess of tongue sucking and teeth clashing while you amateurishly grind your lower halves together.
You pull away and feel yourself grow more aroused at the sight of Heeseung’s chin shining from the mix of your saliva, assuming yours also looks the same. “Need you now.” He nods and lifts your shirt up your chest and over your head, eyes widening at your lack of bra. “Not the first time you’ve seen them, Hee.” You remind him but you still feel slightly prideful that your body hasn’t become any less admirable to him.
He sucks and bites at the skin of your chest, one hand softly rolling your nipple in his fingers while his warm mouth finds the other. Your back arches off of the bed, pushing your body impossibly closer to Heeseung’s and he groans when you pull his hair harshly. “You like that?” You pull his hair again and he huffs a shaky breath onto your skin. “You like when it hurts?” He grinds his hips down in response, laying his cheek flat on your chest.
“No matter how cute you think it is, I jdon’t want to cum in my pants like a virgin.” Despite his words, he’s still grinding into you almost painfully rough. “But you are a virgin.” You cup his face and bring his face to look you in the eyes. “Not for much longer…I hope.” His eyes are sparkling and hopeful and you can’t help but place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’ll be much longer if you don’t undress me right now.”
His hands move quickly as he rushes to tug your pajama pants down, only stopping for a moment to admire your cute panties before he’s pulling them down too. He notices the way you’re shyly grabbing a small blanket to cover yourself and sends you a worried look, only for you to point back at him. “You’re still fully clothed.” You giggle and push him away. “You haven’t even taken your socks off!” You tease him and he shakes his head before swiftly pulling his shirt over his head.
You watch in awe as he undresses, admiring his naked body for the first time. As you pull the blanket away from your own body, you assume he’s doing the same when you catch him almost drooling over you. With a beckoning of your hand, he’s quickly hovering over you again, this time with two fingers between your legs.
“Have to prep you, baby. Don’t want to hurt you too bad.” You can’t even respond as he slides a thick finger into you, curling it upwards while his thumb rubs circles in your clit. “More.” You’re quiet but Heeseung has always been good at listening to you, and he pulls his finger out slowly just to push it back in with a second one. You can’t help your hips from grinding against his palm as he has two fingers knuckle deep inside of you.
You grab his wrist and he looks at you in worry, just to be met with low, lust-filled eyes. “Cant wait any longer.” Your voice is seductive and Heeseung feels his heart hammering against his chest. “Fuck, okay.” He adjusts himself, ready to push into you until he’s stopping abruptly. “Condom. I don’t have a condom.” He sounds panicked, secretly worried that finally getting to have you will have to be postponed.
To his luck, you just shake your head and reach for his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. “Don’t need one. I’m taking one of your firsts today so I want you to take one of mine.” Heeseung’s feels his heart grow as he’s honored to be the first guy you take raw, and he will make sure that he’s also the last.
Lining up to your entrance again, he slides his tip against your folds a few times, coating his length in your slick that is now pooling onto your bed. He slowly pushes in, head falling forward to rest in your neck as the overwhelming squeeze of your walls sucks him in. “F-fuck.” He curse breathily and you can’t help but moan at how arousing just hearing his voice is.
He’s bottoms out fully and your back arches up, feeling him deep enough to know your cervix could end up bruised. He wraps an arm around your waist to keep your back lifted off of the bed as he slowly pulls out and then slides back in. Your eyes roll back, unable to form a single thought when he starts finding a solid pace, fucking into you gently.
“Harder.” You moan through the word and watch the way he lifts off of you, grabbing your hips and pinning you to the bed. As if something in him switched, he’s keeping you pinned as his hips snap almost painfully fast, hitting the most sensitive spots inside of you with each thrust.
“Oh-fuck, Heeseung!” You’re sure the three boys downstairs have been woken from their deep slumber by now with how loud you’re moaning and the sounds of skin slapping. “Fuck I’m so close already, I’m sorry.” Heeseung sounds pathetic as he whines into your neck.
One hand is digging your fingernails into his broad back as the other guides his face towards yours. You kiss him once before sticking your tongue out and looking him deep in the eyes. He’s unsure of what you’re doing before a lightbulb goes off in his brain. Wrapping a hand around your neck, he squeezes harshly as he lets his spit glide from his lips into your mouth, then connects your lips to his before you could swallow.
The disgusting amount of saliva in your mouth allows your tongues to glide together easily and Heeseung moans loudly at the feeling. “God-I think I’m gonna cum.” Just as the shaky words leave his mouth, you feel a tight knot form inside of you and hearing him sound so fucked out only made you crash over the edge. His thrusts are messy and his eyes are squeezing shut, hoping to last a little longer for you.
“Come on baby, cum with me, need it so bad please-.” You’re barely able to get the words out before you’re wrapping your arms around Heeseung’s neck and rocking your hips, cumming around him with a scream-like whine as your juices are squirting out of you. “Oh fuck-fuck!” Heeseung is groaning between clenched teeth, jaw tight as he struggles to hold back whimpers and moans but doesn’t last long when you’re trapping his bottom lip between your teeth.
He lets out the most pathetic, high pitched moan from his throat as he feels you suck on his lip while your cunt does the same to his cock still burried inside of you. He feels like he can’t stop cumming, spurts after spurts of warm liquid filling you up to the point where he’s forced to pull out of you.
As he does that, he watches the way your mixed liquids seep out of you, staining your bedsheets and thighs. You notice the way his whole abdomen up to his chest is glistening, feeling proud that he was able to make you squirt again but this time without his mouth.
He plops down next you and pulls you to lay your head on his chest. “I’ll clean you up right now, pretty. Just lay here for a bit.” You have never felt this happy after such an intimate moment, grateful that life had lead you to such a sweet and caring boy. You lay there for a few minutes until Heeseung throws his sweats on and finds a towel to clean you with, wetting it with warm water before wiping you up gently.
“Why are you the one doing this? I just took your virginity, you should be the one getting princess treatment.” You’re only half joking but Heeseung doesn’t care, kissing your forehead and removing the dirty sheets off of your bed and instead throwing together some random extra blankets he found. He cuddles up next to you, pulling your body so close to his that you think you can hear his heartbeats. “Doesn’t matter the situation, I’ll always take care of my girl.”
Heeseung is a great boyfriend, even if sometimes he can be overly confident and grope you in public or wouldn’t stop bragging to your friends about how perfect you are, resulting in your cheeks burning red and hot to the touch. You’ve noticed the way he get protective over you even with your own friends; sitting between you and Jake or even eating all of the ramen before Sunghoon comes over just out of spite.
Even after two weeks of being official, having Heeseung still doesn’t feel real. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never been treated this well in a relationship, or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never had someone be this in love with you. So in love that he threatens to bite the hand of many who even looks your way.
So, when Heeseung finds himself back at another party, mixing up a concoction of random liquids, he barely notices the way his red solo cup is reaching it’s limit. Too focused on the way a way-too-friendly guy has been hitting on you all night, he doesn’t even care about the amount of alcoholic beverages he’s filling his cup with.
Sometimes he feels embarrassed by how badly he wants you, and now that he has you, he doesn’t know how to handle his jealousy. That’s why when the guy brushes a strand of hair out of your face, Heeseung takes the wrong road and decides he’s done being the pathetic and needy boyfriend you’re used to.
While you��re sitting on the disgusting frat couch with suspicious stains on the cushions, you can’t help but worry that Heeseung is taking too long to get another drink. Your other three friends are somewhere else, off getting shit faced drunk while you’re left alone to protect yourself from this man who has been following you around all night.
You noticed the way he would back off when you’re with Heeseung, but as soon as your boyfriend is a few feet away, you’re being flirted with and touched in uncomfortable ways. Now that Heeseung has been gone for a few long minutes, your struggling to fight off the man’s wandering hands that trail from your shoulder to your lower back, wincing when his hand doesn’t move even after you tug on his wrist.
He just laughs, pointing to the corner of a room and whispers uncomfortably close to your ear. “That’s your man?” You follow his finger, heart dropping when you watch the way Heeseung is towering over a small, almost too-perfect girl. The same girl who had the nerve to call you a slut in the middle of campus.
You don’t miss the way she looks over her shoulder, smirking when she catches you staring. She turns back to Heeseung with a pretty smile, reaching up to trail her fingertips across his arm and you feel your heart crumble.
You reach your breaking point, shoving the clingy man off of you so hard he stumbles against the stairs, landing hard on his ass. You don’t even glance back at him as you make your way around the house, eventually finding all three of your friends swimming in the backyard pool with their jeans and white shirts now soaking.
You hurry to them, explaining that you don’t feel well and that you need to go home. “Are you okay? Where’s Heeseung?” Your boyfriend’s name coming out of Sunghoon’s mouth was enough for you to break down, covering your face with your hand as tears spill from your eyes. “What the fuck happened, Y/N? What did he do?” Jay’s voice is stern and demanding but you know he’s not frustrated with you. “I’ll go find him-“ Jake is cut off when you grab his wrist, pulling him back towards your circle.
“I don’t want to see him right now, just take me home.” As if the universe is testing you, said boyfriend is walking up to your friend group with an unreadable expression before you can plan your escape. “Hey, pretty. What’s wrong?” His question infuriates you more and you find yourself rushing forward and harshly pushing his chest.
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!?” Your voice is horse as you cry, a few strangers now looking in your direction. Heeseung take’s note of this, suddenly grabbing you by the arm and rushing inside of the house. The lights and music blur your senses, and you’re unable to tell what’s going on until your back is being pressed up against a bathroom sink.
Heeseung’s lips quickly find their way to yours, biting and sucking harshly as you continue to cry. “Stop, Heeseung. I’m not in the mood.” You shove his shoulder and he pulls away with an irritated look. “Why not? Did that guy not agree to fuck you?” His words are sharp and mean.
You gasp offendedly, a hurt expression making its way onto your face. “What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t want to fuck him!” You’re yelling again and Heeseung presses his index finger to your lips. “That’s not what it looked like when you were letting him feel you up.” Heeseung is calm and it irritates you more at how confident he’s being despite being wrong.
You feel your eyes start tearing up again, looking away from your boyfriend’s angelic face. “I wasn’t letting him.” Your voice is quiet and weak. “I couldn’t stop him and you-you weren’t there to help me. You knew he was preying on me but you still left me alone.” You can’t stop the warm tears from sliding down your cheeks.
Heeseung takes a step back, eyes now softer and habitually nibbling on his bottom lip. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry.” He cups your face with both hands, eyes locking with yours before he brings you into a tight hug. “I was just so mad that he was trying to get at you, I wanted to make you feel the same way. Didn’t even realize how uncomfortable you were, I’m sorry.” You swear you hear him sniffle as he apologizes, squeezing your body tighter.
“It’s…it’s fine, Hee. You’re new to this relationship stuff so I’ll just have to teach you, I guess.” You sigh and run your fingers through his hair, calming the both of you down. He takes a few shaky breaths before pulling back from the hug and kissing you again, soft and sweet like he’s thanking you for being so patient.
Maybe you’ll just have to get used to him having these ups and downs. Sure, he isn’t the most confident and might be immature and reckless sometimes, but that’s all a part of learning. You want to allow him to experience these harsh moments and teach him how to overcome them. Even if it hurts you in the process, you’ll do anything to be with Heeseung and he’d do anything to be with you, because after so long, you’re finally his.
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E̴N̴T̴W̴I̴N̴E̴D̴ - Series - Part 7
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x f/reader
Warnings: Smutty Smut Smut - kinda like paint me like one of your French girls narrative lol
Notes: Gotta rewatch part 1 of S3 bc I can't with the wait. THANK YOU for reading <3
WC: 4.6K
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"Ben!" you squirmed, your legs couldn't close and your muscles tensed hard as his hands completely pulled your legs to the side. You were going to die and you were fine with it "-Be-Ben" you exhaled, your skin felt like burning, you wanted to close your legs and the embarrassment of being this vulnerable to him was making you hot.
"What's wrong?" His voice was sweet and you could hear his smile even though he was between your legs, your eyes were closed but you could tell he was enjoying the situation a lot.
"Sstop" you gulped "I-too much" you managed to say
Benedict however looked up with his mouth and chin glistening with you, his eyes sparked with joy and a devilish smirk was on his lips as he licked his lips and hummed in contentment. He then leaned forward and licked your folds, a strangled cry left your mouth. You were going to kill him.
"Stop teasing"
"You asked for it love" Benedict's chest emitted a deep groan as he kept licking you, his tongue lapping slower than before "I just need to stay here, can I?"
Your hand silently went to his soft hair, you tried to push his head away from your core but it only encouraged him to go faster and harder, you didn't know what was more embarrassing; the fact that you were moaning loudly or the fact that you didn't have any strength in you to stop him.
"I'm gonna" your breath hitched and the knot in your stomach was tighter than before. You were close, the warmth of your core was spreading around your body and the pressure was getting heavier and for the third time you orgasmed, the third one hit you like a shock that now your legs once pulled apart went straight and quivered hard, your vision went black and grey and all the colours again until you stopped and grabbed the linen to feel something more
Benedict however saw the whole thing from the front -very front- view and couldn't stop admiring you. When you lift your head like a cute little thing, he smiled "I mean..."
"Three times!" you snorted and passed the back of your hand to your hot forehead "Three times"
"I can try to make it four"
Your eyes became heavy so you shook your head and sat upright on his bed "I admire your commitment, but I cannot. But let me return-"
"The favour" he took your words "Another day, my love. It is alright"
"Hmmm" you swing your legs out of the bed "You'll have to let me do it at some point" you leaned to take your dressing shoes to put them on "Is it because I don't know how to give a man pleasure?"
Benedict frowned and dried his chin with his sleeve "Are you serious asking me this?"
"Yes"
He snorted and jumped out of the bed only to kneel next to you and grab your shoes "No, of course not but I love making you feel pleasure"
"selflessness clears the day for others but might cloud yours if you do not know how to balance things"
Benedict grinned, his hand strapping your shoe "Did you just say an impeccable quote to tell me I should let you pleasure me?" he raised his brows.
"And?"
He laughed and you joined him. You really needed to see him under you and witness his pleasure but the mood was too good for you to keep insisting.
"Come on, I'll walk you home"
"We were supposed to be walking near Battersea"
he pointed to his head "We went in here"
By the time you two came outside of his house, your Lady joined you, already knowing where to wait for you -for the past three days-, you greeted her and walked with your arm around Benedict's. Before turning right to your house you encountered...
"Oh what on earth?"
Benedict scrunched his nose at your comment and decided to cross the street with you "Sister!"
Eloise saw you two and straightened herself, your eyes travelled to Cressida Cowper and her affectionate hold on Eloise's arm.
"Brother! Mother told me you went to Battersea with Miss Future Bridgerton"
"Mother told me you went to..." he looked at you "where did she say?"
"The museum" you added
"That's right" he nodded and saw Cressida "Miss Cowper"
"Mr. Bridgerton... Miss Ashbourne" she greeted
"What are you doing here?" you asked
"Me and Miss Cowper were discussing the new paintings but the day was too good to stay inside the museum. Done with Battersea you love doves?"
"Oh yes" you gulped "Beautiful park, refreshing for the good weather"
"Indeed" Benedict agreed "Waterfalls, I mean, humid... water"
You looked at him and then at Cressida's hold on his sister. If Eloise liked her, the only thing that made you worry was her friendship with Penelope and how she treated her but either way you heard how Eloise said farewell to you two and the dupla walked away.
"Weird things happen when you are out of the world for a moment" he murmured "No matter, let us go, I need to talk to my mother about the wedding"
"What about it?"
"To hold it tomorrow"
"Are you mad?"
"No, sane"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes" he looked at you and gave a soft nod "Do you want to do it today?"
"No, of course not! It is just very fast. I would've preferred to give it a week of planning"
"Let the planning for our Mamas. I need to marry you fast"
"Whatever for?"
"Many reasons," he said casually walking with you "One, I cannot stop thinking about you and I cannot work properly"
"I thought you said I was your inspiration"
He shrugged "And I tried to take it today by the bed and still you have it all over you"
You blushed and looked away "Uhu. The second reason?"
"Pain"
"Pain?"
"The pain you cause me when you are away"
"I believe this one ties with the first one"
"I never said they were independent of one another" he ticked his tongue "And third, is it a sin I just need to pass time with you by my side?"
"We do it perfectly being engaged"
"Imagine what we could do being married!" he quickly sniffed and looked down, your house was meters away now and the idea of tonight made him blurt it out boldly "let me paint you"
You frowned, his voice changed and so did his tone "Paint me?"
"Yes"
The thought of his eyes gazing upon your body made the hair on the back of your neck stand and a small heat in your face rise "What kind of painting?"
"You holding a fruit bowl"
"ah"
"while naked"
"Be-"
"And a peach exploding its pulp against your chest"
You almost tackled the poor man "Shush!!!" You laughed "Benedict Bridgerton are you thirsty?"
His blue eyes darkened as he stared down at you "Parched if you ask me"
It hit you that he lied earlier and the three days you have been "walking together". You have offered to pleasure him. How? You don't know, he said it was not rubbing but stroking for a man... Either way, you asked and offered and he said he was alright but his continuous lust and imagery of you with a broken peach by your chest or wine splattered on your thighs -a scene he had yesterday while in the middle of reading- made you understand this poor man, your poor man needs it more than he knows.
"Fine"
"Hmm?"
"I must see you tonight then"
"For...?"
"Painting me?"
"You are pulling my pants"
"No, but you will might tonight with your easel, canvas, what not"
Benedict was about to let his spit fall from his mouth at how confident you looked. A sinful painting. You are agreeing to do it.
You took a breathe and ventured further "Perhaps you can take that inspiration from me"
"I..." he was indeed nervous. He couldn't help but wonder why his chest felt heavy "I should then get my things ready?"
"Is that a question or an answer?" you giggle walking away to your house "Mr Bridgerton"
"Miss Ashbourne"
You don't know why all so suddenly you can't stop being a lustful girl, part of you tries to say that perhaps Benedict is influencing you but deep down the real reason is that you feel comfortable with him and that you have a lot to explore with him, and this was the best opportunity for that; hell, all nights have become all the best opportunities for you and you were clearly stubborn enough to know tonight whatever you have to stroke and pleasure you will do so oh so fervently and slowly that Benedict Bridgerton will quiver like you did this morning.
"Eat"
Your mother ordered and the day went away with her several requests, a bridal fitting with Madame Delacroix and a luxury bath prepared for you. The rose water left your skin soft and the lavender soap had your hair smelling like a field in the spring.
When you left your house with the leftovers of twilight, you grasped your long gown by its middle and walked away to Benedict's bachelor's dwelling. He had given you a key for it the last time he brought you there to spend the night.
You arrived and locked the door, the house smelled like vinegar, too hard for your nose that you covered your middle face with your sleeve and stepped into the art studio where he was... cleaning.
"Now Eloise walks with Cressida and you clean"
Benedict turned to see and he shrugged "Something's in the air. You decided to be painted by me... clearly decisions are being altered"
"Must be the full moon"
"Do not start with that"
"Should I s-"
"No, no. Come here first" he opened his arms and embraced you tight. You hugged him back and he sighed "I missed you"
"We met this morning"
"Still" he rubbed your back "You smell so good."
"Thank you... you smell like a vinaigrette"
"So like all artists, I believe" he turned you around and you saw the white canvas "Do you think this is a good size?"
"Hmm?"
"It is wider and not tall" he explained
"I don't know, is that good for painting me?"
"I think?"
"Well... that's a good start"
"You're laughing!"
"Am not"
"You are! Look at me" he pushed himself from you and took off his jacket and waistcoat "You need to share my vision"
"I am having a vision" you grinned seeing his hands taking the clothes away
"Stop. Look" he pointed at the canvas "You sitting on the couch, legs up and laid by the side"
"How still should I be?"
"As still as possible" he started to tie his sleeves up
"But my arms will hurt"
"They will but..." he stopped and walked to his easel, grabbed a pencil and drew a line from his chin to his neck, his eyes then landed on you and the same line was traced down your chin and neck to the tip of your breast and nipple "It worths it"
"What is this?"
"My focus"
"Focus"
"On you" he grinned
You looked down and back at the canvas "Well then... May I have some brandy?"
"I went ahead and put a glass for you by the couch, there"
"Thank you"
"Let us get to it then"
Benedict got behind the easel and grabbed his brushes, the palette and his chalk. You walked to the couch sat on the right end and slowly undid the buttons of your gown until the whole front fell from your shoulders and landed by your waist.
"All of it?" you asked and he hummed behind his easel "Alright" you pushed yourself to your feet and the gown left your body, you folded it and put it away before sitting again and doing the same with your undergarments
"I thought I said no more pantalettes"
You looked to see him focused on his sketching "Did you?"
"They always get in the way"
"You wear undergarments"
"To hold things in their place, dear"
"Not fair" You folded your pantalettes and left them on top of your gown "So my face here?"
His head peaked from the easel and he shook his head plucking his lips “Right here for a moment”
You tiptoed and pecked his soft rosy lips and giggled as you danced away to the couch. The freedom felt good on you. You landed on the extreme and laid your legs. One crossing on top as this one was hiding most of your private parts.
“Now, move your arm here... like this, yes, yes. Like that, good. Perfect. Stay still. You can have some brandy now, I need the light from the candles to hit you differently for a bit"
You nodded and drank most of it, the burning left your tongue to travel down your stomach. Benedict already away from you left one candle by the table next to your feet and he ventured to his easel. The silence filled the room and he kept staring, his hand moving fast, his eyes looking at you and then the canvas.
You could see him, the tip of his tongue sticking out and how his brows frown. His eyes are dark blue now. The candles are casting shadows around his body and the only light hitting him was the one of the full moon that peeked through the window.
The silence was not uncomfortable but rather reassuring. Most of the time you two have always something to say, something to mock, judge, debate or talk about. However, now that you were in a moment of quietude you realized how much of a couple you two were, or are.
You could see it, the marriage, the future children, the old age, the death. The silence was that loud to your mind.
“What are you thinking, gorgeous?”
You smiled and saw his soft smirk “The silence”
“What about it”
“For the first time, we are in silence”
“Hmmm. We are, indeed… I do miss your occasional banter”
“My ban-“
“More than occasional if I must s-“
“You always trigger it”
“See?” He chuckled and looked at his canvas, his chalk made a noise as he quickly traced something “your banter”
“You always made me speak more than I should”
“I knew you had it in you” he wiggled his brows “I do remember when your governess complained to Eloise’s governess about your attitude”
“She did not like me”
“No, she did not” he bit his lip and looked at you “Don’t move your leg”
“Oh sorry”
“That’s alright… after that, however, I made sure to make you talk more. Especially when your governess paid us some visits” he snorted “No one was shushing you up while I was there”
“Oh, my knight in shining armour” you giggle but feel your leg move so you try to stay still as a statue.
He laughed at your confused face and he put the chalk and brushes aside. His hands rested on his hips and his shirt was still tied up, you could see his forearms and the hair on them was more pronounced.
His body was a piece of art, not because he was tall and had wide shoulders, but because his body had so many details that caught the eye. Your eyes. Everyone's.
Benedict however walked away and left you in the middle of your… vision. And after less than a minute, he came back with something in his hand.
“What is that?” You asked
“A prop. That is how we call it” he showed you the peach in his big hand and he crouched next to you, his eyes as professional as he tried to be, stared at your soft navel and long legs “Now let us add a touch here and there”
“You might need a k-“
Cut in your words as he bit the peach and swallowed a piece. The bitten part then juiced all over his palm and he made sure to start dropping the pulp on your chest, stomach, and legs.
"Ben!!!"
He smiled and ate another piece before placing it on top of your breast and watching it slide down the sides of your chest "It looks even better than I expected"
“It is cold”
“You are hot, give it time” he offered you the peach “Here”
You obeyed and bit the plump fruit, the mix with the remnant of brandy made you sigh and felt just a tiny drop by the corner of your mouth.
“Good girl”
And you did not sigh at that but rather squirmed in your place at the praise. It made his eyes travel down and you could not look away.
You know you have said it over and over but this felt different than other times. Intimacy has shown you a fan of scenes and this one was so tender and artsy. You were naked and the man you love was about to paint your body, the same body he has made twitch with his finger and lips.
“Let us return” he gulped as if he had the same thoughts as you. With a grunt, he stood up and walked to his easel.
This time, the silence was not welcomed and you could tell. There were moments when Benedict would stop, sigh, or hum and then continue. And when he did so, it was so soft and low that it felt like a caress.
"Is my pose bad?” you said after a while
“Not at all”
"Why are you sighing and grunting then?"
"I... well..." he looked down and back at you "It's nothing"
"Does it not please you?"
"What does not?"
"Me, like this?"
"It is quite the opposite," he said and looked down at his pants, he was trying his best to control his erection and failing "I... this is not about me"
"You have said so”
“Let me paint you”
"You can show me"
"Hmm" he bit his lower lip and saw you’re still stiff pose “show you what?”
“You know, Ben"
Oh, he did know.
He sighed and stumbled back against the stool behind him. He sat down and gripped his hair only to see you still there. Stiff.
“So obedient” he murmured
You shrugged softly “I will only move if you want me to. If you ask me to”
“I can ask you to sit straight”
And you did, your legs swung out of the couch and touched the carpet.
“I can ask you to stand up” he said and his cock twitched seeing how your legs moved your frame closer, the peach juice leaving a trail from your breasts to your sex.
“Like this?"
"Completely. Closer" he ordered
You walked in all your bareness next to the easel, your eyes tried to take a quick look at what he had done but you heard his subtle tongue click.
"No peeking. Come here"
You saw him opening his legs and you walked to the middle, finally, the height was not a problem with him sitting up your eyes were in the same line and he took a second to look at your eyes.
"Closer, sweetheart"
You stepped and stood between his knees. You looked down and saw his cock twitch underneath his pants. True, he needed undergarments to keep things in place, although now you doubt the efficacy of it.
"Do you really want me to show you?"
"You are the artist after all" you whispered
"Hmmm, wait" his hands slid from his lap and up to his torso, his fingers opened the buttons of his shirt and he was bare-chested for you. His muscles flexed under the touch of his fingers and his fine chest hair moved as his skin did.
Your hands were aching to touch him, but you knew better than to move, so you waited and watched as he undressed in front of you, his boots, pants and undergarments gone in the blink of an eye, discarded by your feet and you were able to see his skin against the amber light of the room.
His legs were so strong, his thighs so thick and those arms. You suddenly needed to be squeezed by them, close. Skin to skin but then his groin. Your eyes saw it throbbing, with a mind of its own yout thought.
"Don't be afraid"
"I'm not" you quickly said and heard him laugh
"Look" he expanded his right hand "I'm going to wrap my cock and start stroking" and he did, his male hand did not do justice to his member as the pink tip was left exposed and the skin started to be pulled up and down "Here, look. Looka t me"
Your eyes flew to his, his nostrils were flaring, his forehead was a bit sweaty and his pupils were so dilated they almost looked black. You knew you must be looking the same.
"Now be careful, kneel," he asked of you
You did so still by the middle of his open posture. He was still pumping his cock.
"Give your hand" he took it and you gasped, but mostly oh-so silently that it seemed you didn't have a tongue anymore, no sound was coming from you as you felt his shaft, the thickness, the pulsating veins under the skin and the warmth of him "F-fuck" he sighed "You look so pretty on your knees, Y/N"
You blushed and nodded. His hand then wrapped around yours "Grip me, tightly. Yes, like this, perfect, fuck."
Benedict was not completely innocent in this. He had wanted this moment for so long that his body was more than ready for whatever he planned on doing, more than ready if he must confess. But the sight of you will forever be better than the fantasies he has had before. Your breasts, sticky with the juice of the fruit, your skin flared and hot. Your lips -unintentionally he thinks- slightly parted with the tip of your tongue showing in concentration as he, god damn it, is being touched by your pure hand.
"Now" his left hand took your wrist and hand away "I can finish for myself here a-"
You grunted loudly that he stopped and blinked at you "Stop being a gentleman or whatever you are trying to do, Benedict"
His name sounded so dirty. He could not help it. He knows it is covered in frustration but the way you reacted he needed to shush you somehow.
"Kiss it then" he arched a brow "Let me see what you have in that pretty mouth of yours"
You gulped and nodded. You knew this was a side of him you have not seen. The side that wants you to have all of him, even his cum. You leaned in and gave the tip a peck, his pre-cum already on your lips and you tasted him, sour.
"That is it, keep going" his left hand cupped the back of your head and pushed you against his groin, and your mouth opened in reaction "Oh Lord" he muttered feeling the inside of your cheeks grazing his cock "Open wider, no teeth"
You tried to nod, utter fail. Your mouth was stuffed and his right hand was still pushing you forward, not that you had the strength to go back.
"Fuck, my love" his head leaned back to admire the scene
You controlled the breathing, your nose hit his pubic hair over and over and you wanted to ask him if getting him all inside of you was good.
"It is perfect" he answered without knowing, the grip of your hands on his thighs, your mouth salivating around him, and his balls were heavy and ready.
He was not going to last much longer. He has been thinking of this since the moment he opened your body to pleasure itself.
You, on the other hand, felt good and confident of your newly-acquired skill and went back to the tip only to go down to his pubic zone. Perhaps too much because you started doing it fast, faster and faster and his taste became too cravebable for you.
"Y/N, Y/N" your head was stopped you stood there with your mouth full mid your pace "Slowly, I don't want to spill it on you"
"AAAdantmaind!" your gorgled
"What?"
You gulped as you pulled away, your eyes caught the moment his member was shining with your spit "I said I don't mind"
He groaned, his finger tapped twice on his thigh and he nodded "Come back here now"
"Yes, Ben" and your lips were once again sucking him, taking him, and your hands were touching every single place that was not in your mouth. Benedict's body was on the edge, you felt it.
"oOoooh" he sighed above you "Take more"
You did, you took him all in. The tip of his cock hit the back of your throat and your lips kissed the base of his groin. He was so big, so hot and the sounds he was making were too delicious. The sounds you were making were so dirty so borderline vulgar.
"I'm coming, fuck, I'm-!"
You felt the hard twitch and tension around his thighs and were unbalanced with his hand pushing you away from his member way too fast. You caught yourself with one arm behind as you saw his hand covering his forehead as if he was thinking but if he is having an orgasm -you thought- he is not thinking at all.
Your tongue however explored the bitter taste in your mouth. The spit was thick and so you swallowed it, some drops along your chin you sensed.
Benedict opened his eyes, his stomach was moving fast and the sweat was dripping down his face, neck, and chest. He took his cock and looked down to see how much of a mess he has done.
"huh"
You so ignorantly frown at his confusion and stare at where he is staring "what?"
"I swear I... cum" he leaned, two fingers touching the carpet and then he inspected his inner thighs. His head snapped and looked at you "Did you...?"
"What?"
"You didn't swallow, did you?"
"Well... yeah?"
His mouth went agape, he gulped and without detaching his eyes from you he took the discarded shirt from the floor and wiped your mouth "You didn't have to, love"
"it was not bad at all, too warm... Like warm milk only bitter"
He emitted a laughing snort and stood up, his cock softening as your eyes admired his beauty "Come here" he helped you get on your feet and when you regained your balance his fingers took your chin inspecting more "all good. Thank you for that"
"was it good?"
"Good is a euphemism" he smiled and leaned in for a kiss
The taste was stronger than ever, he had not been able to notice before. His hands slid down and cupped your butt, squeezing it and making you squirm.
"What are we doing next?" you asked against his lips
"I was going to ask the same question, are you up for more?"
"More what?" you snorted
He shrugged "Art?"
"And that means?"
He pointed at the couch "Painting you of course"
"Well forgive me, you looking like this is just a simile to what art is"
Benedict threw his shirt at you making you giggle "go back and let me paint you"
You grinned "Not before getting another peach"
"why? it dried already?"
"oh no it's quite wet"
"What?"
You only had to smile at him.
"Oh, my darling girl"
467 notes · View notes
starfxkr · 6 days
Note
can we have trailer park JJ, rubbing your puffy pussy after you’ve had a long day at work. just laying on his chest, daddy takes such good care of you littering you with soooooo much praise and telling you to let it out. maybe u cry bc it feels so good and you squirt
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
today was a nightmare, you were in the weeds for 70% of your shift because the new hostess kept putting people in your section, and you wanted nothing more than to just come home and relax after you wrung her neck like a wet towel.
but jj helped you forget all that, sitting you on his lap naked as the day you were born with your legs spread as he circled your throbbing clit so gently you wanted to scream, but you didn't. you just let him take the reigns.
"you're doin good sweet pea, just take it easy. gonna make yo open right on up for me." jj kissed your cheek but he didn't pull back, instead letting his lips linger as he trailed them to the sensitive spot under your ear, ghosting them just enough to make you moan. he spread your lips open with the v of his fingers on one hand an circled your twitching hole with another, barely dipping in despite your frustration, "your pussy's hungry ain't it? i bet you been needing this all day."
tearfully you nod, practically gasping when he finally gives you want and you struggle not to cum right then and there, "ne-needed it so bad, today was so bad-"
"shh, don't gotta worry bout that now, papa's got you." he curls his fingers up, and the squelch of your cunt is so loud you'd be embarrassed if you didn't feel so good. he continued kissing you, whispering soft praises in between of how pretty you were and how good you were at taking his fingers. it was no surprise you dripped a wet patch onto his sweat pants.
you shifted slightly to look at him, batting your lashes at him in a way that had his already hard cock throbbing against your ass, "i-i love you..."
jj groans, capturing your lips in a deep kiss that makes a surge of wetness coat his fingers, and moves faster, now rubbing your clit in quick motions and stroking harder against that sticky spot inside you to make you shake, "fuck i love you too sugar, more than you even know."
by now you can barely keep up with the kiss, even as he chases your lips and you can do nothing but lean your head against his shoulder--eyes screwing shut as your begin to tremble around his fingers, and he knows you're there.
"just let it go, i wanna see how pretty you are when you cum go ahead.
with a long shuddering moan you cum, vaguely aware of the stunned oh shit coming from jj as you squirt in quick, hot gushes--more than you ever did before and your body feels it because he doesn't stop, smacking your sensitive clit and he wrings you dry and your left crying and blubbering for him to slow down, that it's too much and with one last he stops, cupping your puffy cunt as you sob and he shifts you in his arms to cradle you instead.
"shit, m'sorry sweet pea, you okay?"
shivering, you nod, taking a death breath as your body settles, "uh huh, just- jesus christ that was a lot."
"i know it was, thought you needed it though i don't like when you're so stressed."
this time you just hum in agreement, sniffing slightly as you bury further into his chest, "we can talk about it later...i'm hungry now though."
jj snorts, leaning down to nip at your shoulder just to hear you giggle, "yeah, i fuckin bet. you're gonna eat me outta house and home."
he gets up and sits you in his chair instead, kissing you one good time before he walks to the kitchen to fix you something to eat.
312 notes · View notes
miss-fanfictions · 4 days
Text
Sundays at the Library | Part Two
Part One
Pairing] Spencer Reader x glasses wearing! shy! librarian! fem!Reader
Synopsis] Despite Spencer's best efforts to keep you his Sunday solace, you become all he can think about.
Warnings] Gruesome descriptions of typical CM gore, references to sex, Spencer's POV, insecure/anxious reader, poetry excerpts, like 3k of Spencer pining over reader (sorry not sorry), tech stuff I know nothing about
Word Count] 14.1k
Author's Note] These are links to the poetry from this part: "Your laughter", "The Insect", "And because love battles". Though I use important excerpts, I would highly recommend reading these because I reference them throughout. Sorry to make you do homework but I promise it's cute bc Spencer is falling in love through poetryyyy.
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Spencer spent four days in Seattle, but he would be lying if he said that was the only reason he didn’t get to finish all ten of his library books by Sunday. 
He read one book last Sunday evening while sipping tea on his couch and then he read two of them a day from Monday to Wednesday in between his work hours. Early Thursday morning Penelope rallied the troops to the conference room to explain that they were going to Seattle because four women had been found butchered. No case was easy exactly, but this one was especially hard. The women were found in horrific states, cannibalism was suspected, and Spencer was in charge of doing the geographic profile. The problem was the unsub was very criminally sophisticated and it seemed like he had no comfort zone, so Spencer was struggling. To top it all off, one of the victims' mothers had broken down wailing in the police station, right in front of Spencer’s map, begging for someone to find her daughter's killer. . . and the rest of her remains. 
Spencer had nothing he could say to the poor mother. JJ ended up trying to comfort her, old instincts from her liaison days kicking in. He went back to his hotel room that night and cried. It’d been a while since he cried on a case, a few months or so, but it happened every so often with bad ones, mostly children. So he let himself cry on the loveseat in the corner for a few minutes before taking a shower, putting on some soft PJs, and crawling under the covers of his double bed. For a while he stared into the ceiling picturing the map, the circles he drew, and the pins he placed on it. Half the pins marked an abduction site and the other half signified where a body was found. If he concentrated too hard, he could see the bodies in the morgue: their blue lips, sheet like skin, the carved out flesh.
Most people would assume there was no downside to an eidetic memory, but Spencer knew there was. He could remember every horrendous, gruesome detail of a crime scene, a victim's injuries, an unsub’s taunts. It all haunted him, swimming around in his vision and fogging his brain when he wanted peace. Reading helped because it kept his brain busy and his head clear. When he couldn’t take the horror anymore, Spencer leaned over the side of the bed to his go-bag on the floor. 
Inside was a couple outfits, sleepwear, his usual toiletries, and a few of his library books. He wasn’t sure how much time he would have, so he brought all three of his unread ones. When Spencer unzipped the bag, he remembered he brought four borrowed books. The Poetry of Pablo Neruda sat atop the rest of his clothes and books. It must have floated to the top as Spencer rooted through the bag for his comfiest pajamas. He hesitated to bring it up onto the bed, thumbing the curling corners, but eventually took it into his lap. 
Spencer wanted to read the book as soon as he got home from the library. He actually almost blew a stop sign he was in such a rush, which Spencer never did because he was a very careful driver. Some—Derek—would call him too careful, but there wasn’t such a thing as too careful. However because he was so reckless and excited, Spencer couldn’t bring himself to read the book. It was too distracting, too enticing—he couldn’t allow himself the pleasure of it because it would consume him. Already you were nagging his thoughts, distracting him from his day, his job, and he had to curb it somehow. He certainly couldn’t feed into it by reading the book you gave him. So, he decided he would wait until Saturday to read it so you would continue to just be his solace on Sundays. 
But Spencer wanted a distraction, he needed one really, and he wanted it to be you. He opened the book and immediately smiled as he was met with your handwritten notes in pink pen ink. He couldn’t explain why the loops and lines were so you, but they were, and it only made it easier for him to hear them in your gentle whisper. 
Spencer read 20,000 words per minute, but he read close to three per minute as he combed through the poems and your little comments and analyses. He savored them as much as he could, because he could only read them for the first time once and never again would they be so fresh and sweet. Every other line his heart would flutter and his breath would pause as he searched between the stanzas and in the margins for your own reactions. 
Pablo Neruda wrote some powerful political poetry in support of the Communist Party in Chile, but it was only a sliver of the book's poems. The rest of the pages consisted of beautiful and heartbreaking romance poems. As he read them, he thought of you. Because you’d given him the book, of course, and it was your thoughts scrawled out on the page right alongside Neruda’s. In his drowsy head, the words merged, printed black and scribbled pink swirling, and suddenly the woman Neruda was talking about was you. You were the woman he longed to forget, but would forever plague him. You were the woman made for his arms, his kisses, his soul. Your body was the journey his hands itched to make.
But Spencer couldn’t think that of you. When his eyes would glaze and your image would appear on paper, he blinked quickly and rubbed his eyes raw. It was wrong to think of you like that because you were an acquaintance—a friend at best. He had no right, even if you’d given him the book. He thought then about why you’d given him the book. Sure, it was because he reached his check out limit and could always read more, but why had you given him this book? It was clearly a favorite by how worn and full of notes it was, but the notes were your deepest thoughts on love. Obviously he would consider you as he read them. 
He tried not to though, he really did, until he came across “Your Laughter.” Upon its title alone your giggle echoed in his ears and he leaned closer to the lamp light to read it unobstructed. 
“My struggle is harsh and I come back with eyes tired at times from having seen the unchanging earth, but when your laughter enters it rises to the sky seeking me and it opens for me all the doors of life.”
Perhaps he had imagined those other women Neruda wrote about as you, but this was you. Your laughter gave him life, comfort, and he was starting to think he couldn’t be without it. Every stanza solidified it in his mind that he loved your laugh, that he would take it over bread or air, because in the dim library it stole him away from the world and relieved his burdens, if just for a moment. He finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning with the page open on his chest.
On Friday morning Spencer woke with you on his mind, and that couldn’t happen. He had to banish you from his head, lock your memory away in a deep, dark vault just to get his work done, because every time he saw a flower, or a book, or even heard a laugh, he was thinking of a line from The Poetry of Pablo Neruda and you were that poetry. He had to stuff the book at the bottom of his go bag and swear off it until the case was finished—and he did. He redirected his entire focus back to his map, pins, and circles.
But every night when he went back to the hotel, depressed and exhausted, he sought the book out and found comfort in your words. He fell asleep to them and dreamt your thoughts, then woke up in the morning to you clouding his mind and he had to lock you away again to stay focused.
He was successfully able to rid you from his thoughts at work until Sunday when he woke up antsy at the idea you were in a different state. He tried again to concentrate solely on the case, but when his watch rolled over to 11 he got stuck staring at it, thinking about what you were doing on the other side of the country. It was already 2pm in Virginia due to the different time zones. He wondered what you were thinking. Did you stand at the desk, perched over it for the best view of the front doors? Were you also sad when the hour hand crept slowly passed 11 on the grand clock above the door and he did not walk in? Maybe you didn’t care and the day continued as normal. Or maybe you were only upset he was not promptly returning your book. He thought if only he solved the case faster he wouldn’t have to wonder.
He shook his head, shaking you away, then focused back on the map. Not more than 20 minutes later he solved it thanks to a call from Garcia about a fifth missing woman fitting the victimology. When he added a pin to her abduction site, he found the pattern, the comfort zone, and the unsub. He gathered up the map to present his findings to Hotch, to show him where he knew the secondary location had to be, and just like that the police station was bustling with a new vigor. 
They wrapped up the case late Sunday evening. They put away a monster and were able to give that grieving mother and three others closure on what happened to their daughters. That night, a woman went home to her family and Spencer returned to his hotel room, gathered his belongings, and rushed to the jet. He’d never been more ready to get back to Virginia because as exhausted and relieved as he was, he was also sad. He shouldn’t have been, but he was, because 11am came and went in a police station and not in the library ten minutes from his apartment. You’d called him so reliable and he missed it. He should have warned you about his unpredictable hours, he realized, but now he was just anxious to explain himself. He didn’t want to be the unreliable man leaving a trail of disappointment and broken promises, it was so much like his father the thought made him shiver. 
He was so quick to the jet he beat Hotch and JJ, who were always prompt to get back to their kids. She eyed him as he bounced on his heels, checking his watch. It was nearly 9:30pm which meant they would arrive in the early morning anyway. He would return to his apartment and sleep, hopefully for a while, because the library wouldn’t be open for hours. But Spencer bounced with anxiety because he was late and he hated being late. All he did was think and he was overthinking. He hoped you weren’t. 
“Spence?” He realized JJ’s eyes were on him. She had her usual concerned expression, knitted brows and tilted head. “You okay?”
He nodded because he was okay, technically. There was nothing really wrong. “Yeah, of course.”
She didn’t look entirely convinced, and by now Hotch was watching their exchange. “Are you sure? You look a little. . . stressed.”
She wouldn’t give it up then. “No, I just sort of had plans today I missed. I had to return some library books and I don’t like to be late,” he explained, hoping it would soothe her worries. It wasn’t a lie. . . maybe a bit of a half truth, but his weekends were meant to be his and he wasn’t obligated to talk at length about his personal life.
JJ scoffed, checking her phone as she relaxed, calmed by his explanation. Hotch’s eyes swept back across the street, waiting for the others to arrive. “Well, you know better than to make plans. I missed date night with Will again.”
“That sucks,” Spencer hummed absentmindedly, eyes also watching down the road for the rest of the team. 
It was approximately seven minutes later when their SUV pulled up and the six of them boarded the jet. The team took their usual seats, mostly in silence as Hotch did paperwork, Morgan listened to music, and the rest of the team tried to get some sleep. Spencer took the familiar couch at the back of the jet, but he didn’t curl up to sleep just yet. Instead he opened his go bag to the book he had packed away right at the top to ensure he brought it. A smile spread across his face unbeknownst to him as he took it into his hands. He brought his legs up onto the seat and leaned with his arm on the armrest and his head tucked into his elbow as he got comfortable. Unfortunately, he was used to folding himself up on the small couch, long limbs and all, but it was a good enough position to read in. 
Spencer picked up where he left off reading slowly again, tasting the words as he mouthed them to himself alone. Every so often his silent recitation was interrupted by a quiet chuckle or a snort, because not only was your commentary deep but it was witty. Your takes on Neruda’s physical interest in love was so intriguingly sardonic he couldn’t hold back a laugh. 
Spencer found one particular poem, “The Insect,” sensual until he spotted your jokes scrawled along the bottom near the page number. 
“From your hips down to your feet I want to make a long journey. I am smaller than an insect. Over these hills I pass, hills the colour of oats, crossed with faint tracks that only I know, scorched centimetres, pale perspectives."
In your hasty, sloppy handwriting you responded:
“He better be adept at  licking between those hills if he is smaller than an insect”
Spencer cracked a wide grin, stifling his laugh in his collar. Your humor, tucked between the pages of an unassuming book, was uninhibited by your meekness. He couldn’t help but think you would never say such a crude thing aloud, or maybe you would, and he only needed to know you longer to hear it from your lips. Neruda’s next stanza was even more lewd.
“Now here is a mountain. I shall never leave this. What a giant growth of moss! And a crater, a rose of moist fire!”
He followed a loopy arrow from the section of lines to your reply.
“Crater??? I suppose my razor bumps must be the  stinging rocks that tearing out the moss uncovered”
Spencer snorted, wondering if you remembered writing those quips when you generously handed him the book. They weren’t abundant, most of your responses were scholarly thoughts or opinions on love, but he could see your mood ebb and flow throughout the poems, crossed out thoughts and new additions from when you reread and re-examine with fresh eyes and new ideas. When he got to the end of the poem, he could see how your tone had shifted.
“Sliding down to your feet I reach the eight slits of your pointed, slow, peninsular toes, and from them I fall down to the white emptiness of the sheet, seeking blindly and hungrily the form of your fiery crucible!”
Another arrow from the last word guided him to the next page where he assumed you added more thoughts after going back over the poem again.
“Neruda is only a man, so his metaphors of the body have to be expected. But his unrestrained desire and dedication is the important subtext. To make the journey  long and slow and appreciate it all with unparalleled reverence? A girl might just have time to fall in love.”
Your interpretation of the poetry spoke volumes about your outlook on love. How you searched between the lines for the words unsaid, that between the carnal romance, you found desire and dedication. That was what you valued, as well as “time to fall in love.” The sentiment gave him pause because Spencer had a habit of. . . fixation. Spencer cared fast and deeply, and maybe that was too much for you. He would have to cool off, give you space, even if he was starting to want everyday to be Sunday. 
“What’s so funny over here?”
Spencer looked up, tucking the book into his chest, startled by Derek suddenly standing right in front of him. “Nothing. Just. . . reading.”
Derek leaned down his head to see the title, eyebrows rising with a scoff. “The Poetry of Pablo Neruda?” He shook his head as he continued behind the curtain to the bathroom. “Only you would be laughing at poetry, pretty boy.”
Derek would laugh too if he took a look at your writings, but Spencer didn’t feel like sharing you. He went back to his reading and it took him about an hour to finish the book. The feeling of turning over the last page was hollow. Of course, he could remember every single word, could recite it backwards if he wanted to, he studied it so intently, but the feeling of reading it, of getting inside your head was over. He drifted to sleep with the book tucked into his arm, trying to hold onto that feeling just a little longer.
Rossi shook him awake when they landed. The sun wasn’t up yet and a glance at his watch told him it was only 5:30 in the morning. The team wasn’t expected back until Wednesday, so Spencer only dipped into the office to grab paperwork before he got into his car and drove back home to his apartment. Blasting the radio was the only thing that kept him awake while driving. He didn’t realize it when he first got on the jet, but his body and mind were exhausted. His limbs ached and his head was foggy. Once he got in the door he dropped his bag on the floor and slumped into his bed, drifting back off into deep sleep.
From the way the light filtered in through the blinds, the sun was arching high in the sky when Spencer finally woke up again. His eyes were practically crusted shut and his mouth was dry, all the moisture leaking out onto his face and bedspread. He rubbed a hand over his face as he sat up and stretched. The rest did him good. He had more energy, at least, and he didn’t feel like weights were attached to him. He sat there for a minute, just adjusting to the world, then his eyes drifted to his alarm clock. It was 12:43pm. 
At once he jumped up from his bed, raiding his closet for a fresh pair of clothes. He didn’t mean to sleep in, he meant to be at the library early to explain himself. All he bothered to put on was a clean button up and slacks before he slipped on his converse and grabbed his keys. He stopped himself at the door when he remembered he was going to the library to return his books, so he swung back around to pick up the basket on his coffee table and grab The Poetry of Pablo Neruda from his go bag. 
He jogged down the stairs to his car, breezing past his neighbor Mrs. Cavanaugh who greeted him kindly. Of course, he drove just as carefully as he normally did, using his turn signal, completely stopping at each stop sign, and maintaining the speed limit, all the while his fingers rapped the steering wheel. His parking job in the library lot wasn’t great, though if he was being honest it never really was, but he didn’t hang around long to admire its crookedness as he grabbed his basket and speed walked into the library. 
It was comforting to be met with the familiar chill and paper air. A hand thoughtless combed through his hair as he took his time to walk down the rug to the front desk. He realized he didn’t put a comb through his hair before he left which meant it was definitely wild. He would have spent time being embarrassed about it if he looked over the counter and saw you, but he didn’t. In your chair was an elderly woman who squinted through her own glasses as she read a thick book she clutched in her wrinkly hands. She looked up and saw Spencer standing there, an unamused look on her face. 
“Checking something in?” She asked in a smoker's voice. 
“Oh, uh, yes,” Spencer floundered, surprised you weren’t there. He took your book from the top of the basket and then brought the rest up to the counter. The woman watched him as he pulled the books from the basket, an over plucked eyebrow raised. He had to dig around in his wallet for his library card too, but eventually set it on the counter to avoid the talons at her fingertips. She let out a sigh as she began scanning them. 
Spencer tapped his fingers against the countertop, eyes roaming around the library. Was Monday your off day? He never asked. He actually didn’t know much about your personal life besides that you were in graduate school. Maybe you had classes today? He could come in again tomorrow. . . but was that weird? He wouldn’t have any books to check in, so he didn’t have any actual reason for coming in besides seeing you. Would you find that odd? That he sought you out? He didn’t want to wait until next Sunday to talk to you again.
Spencer looked back at the librarian as she cleared her throat. She finished checking in the books and slid back over his library card, but he was still just standing there. “Is there something else you need?” She asked and he whispered your name. “What?”
“I–I mean, is she working today?” Spencer clarified quickly. “The girl who is at this desk on Sundays?” 
She blinked at him, leaning back in her chair and picking back up her book, a sharp finger turning the page. “She’s working.”
He nodded, gathering up his library card and basket and briskly walking away from the desk. With no additional clues as to where you were, he went to the second floor and began walking around. You had to be around there somewhere, eventually he would find you. He scanned the shelves as he walked, looking in the sciences for books that interested him, but he was too preoccupied looking over his shoulder for you walking by. Eventually he was fed up waiting for you to walk by and roamed the library just looking for you.
It took going to the fiction section to find you. He rounded the corner of a bookcase and saw you up on a ladder, arm full of books, the other busy nestling them into their places on the shelves. Your hair was done up and you wore a long, patterned skirt, but also a fitted long sleeve shirt. It hugged you like you hugged the books, and Spencer’s eyes trailed the outline of your figure illuminated by a gold halo from the window behind you. In over a week of not seeing you, Spencer didn’t forget a single detail of how you looked, but the feeling he got when he looked at you was new and invigorating. 
He saw you in a new light, literally and figuratively. He knew some of your inner thoughts; each poem he read felt like a conversation. Maybe it was one way, but you read the book so many times perhaps it wasn’t. He hoped maybe you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave it to him, as if, in your own shy way, you were saying all those words to him.
A quiet gasp broke his train of thought and suddenly you were looking at him, turned on the ladder to see him at the end of the bookcase. “Spencer?” You looked surprised, caught off guard, and when you tried to scramble down the ladder clinging onto the books and nothing else, you tripped on your skirt and teetered on the foothold.
Spencer was next to you instantly, the basket sliding up his arm as he steadied you with a hand on your waist. You took hold of his other hand, delicate fingers wrapping tight around his palm, and slowly came down off the ladder. He let you go once you were on the floor again, unsure of what to do with his hands warmed by the feel of you.
“Thank you, I was really trying not to twist my ankle falling off that again,” You smiled nervously, embarrassed, and looked down at the books you held against yourself. 
“Again?” Spencer asked, brows quirking up, lips twisting into a smile. Not only were you shy, but you were klutzy. He wasn’t sure which made you more endearing. 
“Oh yeah. I was laid up for a week after falling off a three foot ladder. Now I don’t reach so far out,” you explained, finally chancing a look up at him and finding his eyes already on you.
“I got shot in the knee once. I was on crutches for five months, two weeks, and five days and I hated pretty much every second of it,” he blurted out, and to his delight you breathed out a quiet laugh. 
“Well you’ve got my twisted ankle beat,” You shrugged at him. He chuckled in reply, and slowly the conversation faded away. He had so much to say to you, to explain, but it disappeared from his mouth when he stood in front of you. Suddenly he felt self-conscious. He wondered if you thought about him even half as much as he thought about you. Finally, your voice came out in the softest whisper. “I didn’t know if you were going to come back. . .”
 “I was in Seattle,” like a dam burst, at last his words came rushing out. “I travel for work a lot and I’ve been in Seattle since Thursday. I only got back this morning.”
He searched your face for your reaction but your eyes were unreadable. “You just got back from a four day work trip across the country and the first thing you do is go to the library?” He couldn’t tell whether you were weirded out or not. Normally your emotions were all over your face and he read it just like a book, but suddenly you snapped it shut.
“No. Well—yes, kind of. . .” When you only continued to look at him, he felt the need to keep talking. “I had to return the books, y’know? And. . .” He searched your eyes for an indication to stop or keep going, but they were only pools of hope with borders of acetate. “You called me reliable—before, I mean—and I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t. I didn’t have any way to contact you either to let you know I wasn’t going to come in so I just. . . came here as soon as I could.”
The meekest of smiles lifted the corners of your lips and Spencer nearly let out a sigh of relief. “I guess it’s silly, but I was a little sad when you didn’t come in. I thought I really messed it up, and that sucked because it gets kind of boring in here without a genius FBI agent to be surprised by,” you shrugged, finger tapping along a hardcover book in your arms. Spencer opened his mouth to reassure you that you didn’t do anything wrong, but you continued. “I think it’d be better for both of us if we had a way to contact each other—so you can warn me of course! When work has you too busy to come in.”
Spencer stood in front of you for a few seconds, processing what you were saying. Then you inclined your brows at him and he scrambled to get his phone from his pocket. “Oh, right. You can just put your number in and I will, uh, text you.”
You struggled to adjust the books in your arms to get a free hand, so Spencer set the basket down and offered his help to take them. “Oh, thank you,” you mumbled, passing the books into his long arms and taking his phone. As you thumbed in the numbers, Spencer turned to the shelves and began putting the books in their rightful places. You furrowed your brows at him, mouth falling open. “Oh, Spencer, you don’t have to do that.”
“I’d like to help.” He gave you a smile over his shoulder and went back to fingering over the spines to find the correct placement.
“Thank you then. Just. . .” Your head craned outside the end of the bookcases, glancing either way before walking back to the trolley that carried the books that needed reshelving. “Don’t let Mrs. Wilson see you. I think she’d actually fire me.”
“Mrs. Wilson?” Spencer questioned, brows creasing. “The woman at the desk today?”
You just gathered another armful of books from the trolley when your head snapped back to Spencer, then glanced between him and then the nearly empty basket on the floor, worried. “Oh my God, she checked your books back in. She didn’t say anything mean to you, did she? Nasty little comments are her specialty.”
Spencer took more books from the cart, his eyes glued to you as you scaled the ladder again. “No. She wasn’t exactly friendly either, but she didn’t say anything mean.” You wiped fake sweat off your brow. “Is she your boss?”
“Kinda, yeah. Technically I’m a library aid, but I do pretty much everything she does as the librarian,” you said, voice dry and tired with annoyance. “Actually I do everything she’s supposed to do besides berate people for late books, that’s her favorite pastime. Most of the day she manages the desk while I do everything else. I only work the desk Sunday because that’s her off day. I’m pretty sure she spends it at church because she’s always telling me I should be going.”
He glanced at you as you talked, continuing to organize the books. It was the most he ever heard you talk, and he was starting to hear the same voice he heard on the margins of The Poetry of Pablo Neruda. “I’m glad I came in on Sunday then,” he said. He likely never would have met you if he didn’t come in on Sunday, what with you rushing around doing all the other day to day library duties. That meant there was a 1/7, or 14% chance of him meeting you at the library the way he did. He didn’t even want to think about how slim the chance of him meeting you was after also factoring in the other libraries in the area he could have visited.
“I’m glad you did too.” You smiled over at him, shelving your last book and carefully heading back down the ladder. “She never would have let you check out all those books at once.”
He quickly placed the remaining book in his hand on the shelf, joining you at the trolley as you divided up the last of the books left. “So, if she’s so mean and awful at her job, why don’t you report her?”
You paused, eyes going distant and your shoulders slighting curling in on yourself. “I could report her to the director I guess, but. . .” You only considered it for a moment before collecting the books and spinning away down the bookcase with a shake of your head. “I don’t see the point. She’s just a grouchy old woman. It’s not like I can’t handle it. I think the reason she hates me so much is because she thinks I’m going to replace her.”
Spencer eyed your body language and shift in tone. It was the confrontation that scared you, he realized. He saw it before with Todd and now with Mrs. Wilson and the director. You didn’t stand up to her or advocate for yourself because of some self conscious doubt or fear of rejection. Sure, Mrs. Wilson might be mean and a bit scary, but that shouldn’t mean you have to deal with her blatant disrespect. He wanted to give you some encouragement, but seeing your reaction to his question—the way you curled in on yourself to protect yourself from the discomfort just considering reporting her gave you—made him not want to push you, so he finished putting the books in the bookcase. 
“If you say so. I'm just sorry you don’t get along with your coworker. I feel like my team at the BAU is my family and I couldn’t imagine it any other way,” he confessed. His only real family was his mom, but he felt it wasn’t appropriate to talk about her just yet. Although he did feel like the team was also his family, so it felt right to talk about them.
You hummed, a dreamy look on your face. “That’s nice. It makes sense too, since you all have to trust each other with your lives, don’t you?” You brought your bottom lip between your teeth suddenly, hesitating to look at Spencer. “I um, I looked up what the BAU was the other day because I wanted to know what you did exactly. It just said you created “profiles” of serial killers, but it didn’t mention field work.” You slotted onto a shelf the last book in your hands, fidgeting with your fingers as they became idle, eyes wandering back and forth between him and the floor.  “I was just thinking if. . . are you in danger often? You didn’t seem very scared of that guy the other day—obviously he’s not nearly as scary as a serial killer, but you also said you got shot in the knee?”
Spencer held back a smile because you seemed upset, but the fact that you took the time to look up what he did and worried about him made his stomach swirl in a way which was more pleasing than nauseating. “Field work is a part of my job, yes. We profile serial killers and other criminals, but we also help the local police catch them. I’ve had other injuries besides getting shot in the knee, too. So, yes, often it can be a very dangerous job.” It also felt wrong to bring up Tobias Hinkel, the trauma Spencer experienced, and the path it led him down. Maybe at a later time he could bring it up, but now he was more comfortable recounting exactly the amount of times he’d been shot at and every injury he’d gotten on the job from being punched to poisoned. Spencer did none of that though, because your face became sickly and your brows knitted so tight with concern he thought they might merge together. “I’m always okay though! I trust my team and we all keep each other safe. I wear a bulletproof vest to protect my vital organs and I carry a gun, so I’m kind of hard to kill.”
You crossed your arms, nodding as you calmed down from the worry. Spencer wondered if you were also an anxious person, it would make sense since you were so concerned about him and his job. It was a dangerous job, sometimes in the moment Spencer dismissed the probabilities that he could actually die, but it was always possible despite his experience, knowledge, and skills. Unlikely, but possible. “It’s a really good thing your coworkers have your back then,” you joked, but it was weak and Spencer could tell you were still unsettled.
He wanted to calm you down, because there wasn’t anything to be worried about. He was good at his job, safe, and he always ran all the probabilities and took the best course of action. Most importantly, he always had a thorough and accurate profile, which Gideon always said was the deadliest weapon he could have. You didn’t need to worry about him despite the danger. “‘What more can they tell you? I am neither good nor bad but a man, and they will then associate the danger of my life, which you know and which with your passion you shared,’” he recited. Your head tilted as you took in his words, an excitement of realization slowly filling up your face. “‘And good, this danger is danger of love, of complete love for all life, for all lives.’”
“‘And because love battles’, Pablo Neruda,” you named it. Spencer was right when he assumed you read it several times because you had it memorized enough to spot it. “That poem is about fighting for and defending his love despite his past and what others have to say about it—not the danger of having standoffs with murderers.”
“Yes, but I can repurpose it. I do this job despite the danger because I love people. I love helping them, saving them. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. If I don’t catch the murderers, who will?” He explained, trying to show you that this job was just a part of him, however dangerous it was, he could handle it. “I know it can be scary, but trust me when I tell you that I’m good at what I do. There aren't any people out there better at this job than my team. You don’t have to worry.”
You plucked at the ends of your sleeves, thinking on what he told you. The seconds ticked by and he resorted to examining your body language, how your shoulders were even and between them your chest rose and fell at a steady pace. Your face was placid too, until it warped with a playful smile and you stepped closer to him. The breath left his lungs in an exhale. “So. . . you did finish The Poetry of Pablo Neruda?” He took air in again with a chuckle. Teasing him must have meant you felt reassured. “You must have been distracted being so good at your job that your interpretation was off, because that’s not at all what that quote means.”
Spencer took a step towards you, his long legs almost closing the gap of space between your bodies before you scrambled back a step. “Oh, I know what you think of that poem. I know exactly what you think of all Neruda’s poems, since you spelled it out for me.”
Your hands came back to the front of you, fidgeting with your fingers as you avoided the intensity of his eyes, face warming with embarrassment. “You read all my notes?” How could he not? Surely, you must have known he would. 
“Of course I did. I thought it was all very insightful,” he said, and because he couldn’t help himself, he continued. “Especially all your little jokes. What did you have to say about ‘The Insect’? ‘He better be adept at licking—’”
“Spencer!” You squealed, certainly disturbing anyone who was in the surrounding rows of bookcases. Your hands rushed to cover your face. “I didn’t—You weren’t—oh my God!”
Spencer laughed at your suffering, taking sadistic pleasure in it only for a few moments before he gently pulled your hands from your face by your arms. “It’s okay. I thought they were all very funny. You’re very funny.”
It was harder for you to shake off the embarrassment. You carefully removed your wrists from his hands to wring them. “I didn’t think you were even actually going to read it.”
Spencer’s brows twitched into a furrow, puzzled as to why you thought he wouldn’t read the book you gave him. “Why not? I like poetry.”
You shrugged. “I–I don’t know, I just definitely didn’t expect for you to memorize it and everything I said.”
“I have an eidetic memory,” he countered, knowing he would remember everything you ever wrote and said to him. “And some of that stuff is pretty hard to forget anyway.”
You whined, mortified. “Yeah, I’m starting to realize what that means.”
There was a pause between you and Spencer, because you were embarrassed and he wasn’t sure why. Having someone read your private thoughts is vulnerable and flustering, but you gave him the book. You must have known he would agonize over your every word, but your reaction said you didn’t. Spencer couldn’t help but feel he was reading too far into things, his obsessive, addictive personality sending him spiraling down a hole of a relationship he dug all on his own. You didn’t think about him as much as he did you; you didn’t read into the things he did and search for more meaning. 
“Do you need more books?”
“Huh?”
He was staring into your face thinking hard, but you snapped him back out of it. “You finished reading all your books right?” You repeated.
“No, I only read seven of them,” he thought aloud.
“What? What happened to Mr. 20,000 words per minute?” The shyness fled you slowly as you turned again to teasing him. It was cute, but it also flustered Spencer, because he definitely couldn’t tell you he didn’t finish his other books because he spent all his time scrutinizing every word both you and Pablo Neruda wrote. 
“I–I told you I was in Seattle for four days. I didn’t have time to finish them because I was busy.” It was a lame excuse because he definitely did have enough time, he just spent it reading the book you gave him because it comforted him better than any other book could.
You hummed, tapping your fingers along your forearm. “Okay, well, you should look for some more books. I have to get back to work or the library’s going to collapse without me. So, um, text me?”
He got whiplash from your sudden goodbye. “Y–Yeah, of course. I’ll see you next week right?”
“Of course,” you repeated, throwing him a wave as you grabbed the handle of the trolley and started pushing it out of the aisle. 
“Wait, don’t forget this.” Spencer stopped you as he picked his basket back up from the floor, plucking The Poetry of Pablo Neruda out of it to hand to you. 
You took it with a grateful smile, setting it on the trolley. “Thank you, Spencer, I’ll have to give you more poetry book recommendations since clearly you liked this one so much.”
He watched you disappear around the corner and was immediately hit with everything he wanted to say to you, what he should have said, all the conversations he wanted to have had. It wasn’t enough. You’d taken a decent chunk of time out of your busy day to chat with him but it still didn’t satisfy him. Spencer wondered if there would ever be enough of you, or if he was now forever craving you, needing your words, your laugh, you entirely.
He resigned himself to looking around the library for new books to read. Every time he entered a new aisle, he looked for you, having hope you’d be there but you never were. Still, he took his time finding books, but once he had seven in his basket he made his way down to the front desk.
Of course, Mrs. Wilson was sitting there and she was just as pleased as she was before to see Spencer standing in front of her. She stood up as he began unloading the books onto the countertop. 
“Seven books?” She croaked.
“Yes? I only have three out and the check out limit is ten,” he justified, pausing as he rummaged his wallet for his library card.
“I know the checkout limit. You can’t check out more than five books at once,” she hissed, clawing two books off the top of the stack and dropping them onto the cart behind her. Without missing a beat, she turned back and snatched up his library card from the counter and began scanning.
“Okay. . .” he mumbled, unsure how to respond. Obviously that wasn’t library policy, but he wasn’t interested in fighting with your coworker. All he needed was for her to dislike him. Well, dislike him more than the disdain she seemed to have for everyone. 
When she finished scanning and checking the books out, she slapped his library card on top of the stack and sat back in her seat, picking up her book again without a word. Spencer took that as his sign to get lost and quickly gathered up his books in his basket and made for the exit. He looked back once more as he opened the double doors and turned back around as they shut behind him.
Spencer wiped down the books and his basket in his car, setting them both up snug in his passenger seat. He sat there for a moment, looking back at the library, then pulled out his phone. Like you said, your name had been added to his contacts, your full name. He bounced his leg as he considered sending you a message, but finally gave in and typed a simple one out.
- Hey, it's Spencer Reid.
Again, his leg bounced viciously as his fingers hovered over the buttons, sporadically typing out letters before deleting them. He even set it down before he picked it back up and hurriedly sent another message.
- Mrs. Wilson only let me check out five books.
He tossed his phone over into his passenger seat with a sigh. Spencer Reid did not text. It was strange, embarrassing, and not at all something he was used to. He felt the urge to call Garcia and even ask if he was doing it right. Was there even a right way to text? There had to be and he had no clue what it was. Constantly Garcia was bringing up internet language Spencer did not understand. What if you knew it and he didn’t? He almost went back into the library to research it on the computer. 
But he had to go home. He hadn’t eaten yet and his stomach was starting to rumble and growl. There was a chinese place on the way home, he could stop by there and get takeout. It wasn’t the healthiest plan, but there wasn’t much at the apartment besides pasta. That meant he also had to go grocery shopping tomorrow. He sighed through his nose as he put the car in drive, only to immediately throw it back in park when he heard his phone chime. He lunged over the console to the passenger seat so quickly the seat belt locked up and he choked himself momentarily before he could unfasten it and snap up his phone from the seat. There was a text from you.
- When do you go back to work?
His brows creased, but he responded swiftly nonetheless.
- Wednesday. Why?
- That means you have to come in tomorrow at 11, that's her lunch break. I can check you out.:)
He was even more confused by the punctuation at the end of your sentence. He reread it thrice for any clues to the meaning before he tilted his head and saw a smiley face staring back at him. A laugh burst from him, shaking his chest. He could put off grocery shopping until later in the day tomorrow.
Spencer came into the library Tuesday at 11am promptly. You escorted him around the library as he found two more books, then you let him pick an additional two more to check out on your own library account. After picking out the books, sneaking to check him out at the front desk became the best covert op mission Spencer had ever done, and he actually had done quite a few. As you talked, Spencer recounted cases he worked on and taught you the lingo they used in the field. When you slunk behind the front desk, you actually whisper-screamed “Clear!” at him with a face so serious Spencer had to slap a hand over his mouth so he didn’t blow the whole operation by laughing in your face. Your head bobbed constantly for any sight of Mrs. Wilson, even though you told him she ate lunch at the diner down the street. Then you slid him the two extra books like the scandal was DEA investigation worthy. All the while, you and Spencer giggled like children. 
You were a lot less worried now when he told you about the cases he worked on, he tended to leave out the really scary parts, but the idea of him chasing after armed murders didn’t terrify you as much anymore. You seemed to trust him and his skills more, likely because of his excellent performance during “Operation Paperback,” which was the code name you lovingly bestowed upon your mission to check Spencer out more books while Mrs. Wilson took what was most definitely not a smoke break. (You told him you were going to launch your own investigation into the cigarette butts you kept finding in the parking lot when he left now that you were a pro at “FBI stuff.”)
Spencer left the library with a giant grin on his face and it stuck with him even as he picked out his next week's worth of meals at the grocery store. He also planned when he would see you again and thought about all the things he wanted to talk to you about. Of course, he wanted to tell you about all the great things he did: his successes as an FBI agent, how he earned his PhDs, the time he hit the ball and ran the winning homerun for Derek’s baseball team. But he also wanted to tell you the darker parts of his life: his mother’s illness, how the job had traumatized him, his struggle with addiction. And he wanted to know so much more about you in kind.
Swiftly, it was no longer just Sundays he was visiting the library. He was dropping in after work and on the odd days he had off due to prolonged cases in other states. It took him less than a week to memorize your schedule. You had off on Fridays and Saturdays, and on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you had classes. Of course, your classes were late after work on Monday and Wednesday, however they were early in the morning on Friday. The library hours were something he also saved in his mental rolodex. It had open hours all seven days of the week: 10am to 4pm on weekends and 11am to 7pm on weekdays. Spencer was leaving work on time for the first time in years to make it to the library before close. 
Over the next couple weeks as he went to the library, he realized you spent a lot of time troubleshooting the computers. So when he came in he would either find a book to read or set himself up at an open computer near the one you were working on. He told you he was “researching” things for cases, but he didn’t really have to because anything he wanted to know he could have asked Garcia with her masterful skills and FBI grade software. He came to chat with you, listen to you complain about having to fix the computers so often because the local teens kept breaking them. Still, you were too timid to reprimand them or threaten to kick them out. In his job everyday there was always confrontation, everyone had to do it, so it was both confusing and sweet to him that you lacked the nerve to address people. He only wished you would stand up for yourself, because when you avoided confronting the problems it only ever gave you more labor. 
You became much more comfortable with him though. You shared more thoughts openly, met his eyes more, and even shared things about yourself that seemed very personal. You told him about your parents, your friends, your quaint apartment, and some embarrassing stories of your childhood. As close as you both were becoming over the weeks, you refused to let him read any of the poems you wrote because “it's different when you read it than when strangers read it.” He couldn’t dream of it being bad. He wouldn’t even give criticism or comment on it, but still you wouldn’t let him. You did, however, let him read your interpretations and analyses of poetry and literature you were reading for your classes. He would finish scanning the texts in minutes, which you would whine and complain about taking hours doing as a slow reader, and then read your writings and give you his critiques. At first you were nervous and fidgety about it, would go quiet when he didn’t necessarily agree. Then, slowly, you became more argumentative, fighting him on whose perspective was correct. Spencer loved arguing with you, the way your face lit up when you thought you had him, and the pout of your lip when you conceded the genius maybe knew what he was talking about. 
He handled five cases over the weeks he got to know you, during which he never used his phone more. He would be away for days at time and not be able to visit the library, so he resorted to texting you during the day and calling you from his hotel room in the evenings after you got home from classes, or just before you tucked yourself in for bed. Sometimes he talked about the cases, only giving you bits of information and keeping out the truly horrific things. Other times, he talked about his life. It was hard at first, telling you about the darkest parts of him, how he was far more complex than he originally led you to believe, then it became easy. You took it in stride, showing him an empathy he never knew he craved so deeply. You comforted him over the phone, or in the library, and assured him you didn’t see him any differently than before. Told him you were still his friend.
His friend. Of all the things you said to him while he was vulnerable, that one was the only one that wounded him. You were a great friend, truly, but Spencer was closer to the realization everyday he didn’t want to just be your friend. On the nights he wasn’t away on a case, when he entered his empty apartment and prepared himself dinner alone, he missed your voice. He wanted you there always, more than someone should want a friend. He never thought about Derek, or Penelope, or JJ the way he thought about you. His team was his family and he loved them, but the way he felt about you was another thing entirely. You consumed him at times. When he should be thinking about a case or chatting with one of the team, something reminds him of you and suddenly he’s stuck in a loop of thinking about what you were doing, thinking, feeling. He was distracted, and the worse part of it all was that his team was starting to notice.
Spencer tried to be discreet, but sometimes as he sent a text under his desk or hidden alone in a room Derek would catch him and he’d have to come up with a fast excuse. It always sounded defensive and not quite convincing because Spencer was not a very good liar. The rest of the team was catching him lost in thought, which wouldn’t be as damning if it didn’t happen so often. He cared for you so much he couldn’t help but think of you all day. He likely would never stop talking about either if he wasn’t hiding your existence from his team. At first it was because he tried to keep you very separate from his work life, like his job at the FBI didn’t have to exist when he was with you and therefore you did not exist when he was at work. But now you’d infiltrated his life completely and there was no possible way to keep you separate. He hid you now because well. . . he was embarrassed. Clearly he was obsessed with you, he couldn’t deny it anymore, but you didn’t feel the same way. 
You were caring, kind, generous, empathetic, yes, but in love with him? Well you gave no indication you were. Often you would call him your friend, mention you were scared of relationships, and when he tried showing you he was interested in being more than your friend—getting closer to you, complimenting you, flirting with you—you got quiet and shied away, so he backed off. He wanted to be with you so desperately he put to use all the tips Derek had given him—the PG-13 ones at least—but none of it worked. Perhaps he wasn’t doing it right, or you just didn’t like him. He was trying hard to just settle with being just your friend.
“Oh my God, I hate this thing!” You hissed, slapping your hands over your face and groaning quietly into them. 
“I’m guessing you tried turning it off and on again?” Spencer grinned. He pulled out the seat to the computer next to you, hanging the strap of his messenger bag on the chair behind him. Your eyes glared at him between your fingers.
“Don’t make me hate you too, Spencer. That never works.” Well then the problem went beyond his ability to fix. “I just don’t understand how they can get so many viruses on a computer? Everyday I’m blocking new websites.”
Computer six, which conveniently was the computer with the least visibility from the front desk, was almost always in need of fixing. Mainly because of a group of teens who would come in on the weekends or after school to play around on it. Constantly you were blocking the unsecure, often dangerous or pornographic websites they frequented. How they found them all, you could not fathom. You were fairly good at fixing the computer with all the time you’d spent doing it and all the tutorials you had to research, but were truly stuck. It was almost a week of the computer being down and you had no luck repairing it. 
“You tried everything?” He asked, his smile dropping into a frown at your distress.
“Yes. I don’t know what to do anymore. Mrs. Wilson is on my ass about fixing it and she’ll never call the director to send someone to fix it because that costs money. And I’d have a better chance at winning the lottery than getting a new computer and I don’t even play.” You drug your hands down your face, shoulders slumped in defeat. 
“I could get it fixed.” 
You let out an unstifled laugh, which he would be happy to hear if you weren’t laughing at him. “Spencer, you suggested turning it off and on.”
“No, I mean I could ask someone to fix it. A member of my team, Penelope, is a technical analyst. She’s very good with computers and she could fix it.” He didn’t want to ask Garcia, actually the last thing he wanted to do was get his team involved, but he hated even more to see you so upset and stressed. He was just your friend and that was all Garcia would see. 
Your mouth fell open and you waved your hand dismissively. “Oh no, I couldn’t bother her with this. She's probably so busy. I–I can handle it.”
Spencer smiled. You were so sweet, always determined on dealing with things so you didn’t have to put the weight onto others. It only made him want to help more. “She’d be doing me a favor. I’m sure she’ll be happy to help.”
“Are you sure?” Beyond the apprehension, he saw how hopeful you were. 
“Yeah, of course. I’ll let you know when she can come fix it,” he said, watching the smile spread across your face. You were so elated, you reached over the space between the chairs to give him a hug, letting out a deep sigh of relief. 
“Thank you so much, Spencer,” you mumbled into his shoulder. He awkwardly patted your back, unsure exactly what to do with his gangly arms. He wasn’t too much of a hugger, neither were you, so it was the first time you’d ever hugged him. His cheeks warmed at the thought.
Unfortunately, he had to follow through on his promises. So the next day when he went into work he hung around the door to Garcia’s lair, repeating over and over in his head how he was going to ask. He opened the door with a knock and she swirled around in her chair to look at him, a megawatt smile beaming.
“Hey handsome, what can I do ya for?” She greeted, spinning a fuzzy orange pen between her fingers. 
Spencer wrung his hands in the doorway, halfway between coming in and running away. “I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”
“Of course! What did you need me to look up?” She spun back in her chair, hands at the ready.
“It’s not that, it's a personal favor. A–A tech problem. Do you think you could help me with it this Sunday?” 
Slowly, Garcia tapped her heels on the floor to turn her spinny chair back towards Spencer, eyebrow quirked. “Okay, technophobe. What’s this tech problem because I didn’t think you owned a computer?”
“It’s a computer at the library I go to. It’s been out of order for a week now and they can’t seem to get it fixed,” he explained, continuing to fidget. 
She pursed her lips and tilted her head, gesturing at him with her fuzzy pen. “Is there not more than one computer at the library? Or are libraries really that popular still? I think you should just get a computer, Reid. I promise it’s not that scary and I’ll pick you a good one! The kind even old people know how to use—no offense. We can go—”
“Garcia,” he interrupted her rambling with a wince. Clearly he wasn’t going to get away with asking for her help so vaguely. “The library can’t afford to pay someone to fix it so I told the librarian I’d ask if you could. If you’re too busy, it’s alright.”
She seemed skeptical, mouth bobbing open and closed like she had more to say, but finally closed it with a simple nod. “I can fix it, of course I can fix it. JJ canceled our brunch plans Sunday so I can be there at 11:30.”
Spencer gave her a tight lipped smile and a nod. “Okay, I’ll send you the address. Thank you, Garcia.” He wanted to add that she probably shouldn’t mention it to the rest of the team, but knowing Garcia’s lack of subtlety and habit of being just a tad nosey, he figured that would only make it more suspicious and odd.
So he gave her a farewell and speed walked back to his desk, taking his seat with a heavy sigh of relief. Garcia may not be a profiler, but she knew him well and she had a bloodhound like nose for gossip. If he wasn’t careful, she would sniff out just how much he liked the librarian he mentioned so briefly. Then it would spread like wildfire around the office and Spencer would be safe from no one’s prying and teasing. 
It was the first Sunday he was nervous to go to the library. His palms were sweaty as he waited at the computer with you, you none the wiser. He tried to focus on you to calm down because you were always his source of comfort. His eyes trailed over your long skirt and t-shirt combo, making note of the way you kept touching your arms as if you were cold. No doubt you’d slip on the cardigan you kept behind the desk soon, but he assumed you wanted to look nice to meet Penelope, because you did look very nice. Your hair was out of its updo and if he looked hard enough at your face, which he did, he could tell you were wearing lipgloss and some other little bits of makeup. 
“You okay?” You asked him softly, eyes looking over his own face.
“I’m fine,” he blurted maybe a little too quickly because you looked unconvinced. Slowly you were learning his tells and he wasn’t sure how long it would be before you found out how fixated he was on you and you didn’t want to be his friend anymore. “I just. . . I hope Penelope can fix it for you.”
You smiled sweetly, looking away at the entrance. “I bet she can, but even if she can’t, it's okay. It was nice of you and her to try.”
He wanted to reassure you that he would always try for you, but Penelope came through the double doors, absolutely glowing like the sun. In mood, but also in outfit. Or maybe it was more like a sunflower? All Spencer knew was that it was very yellow and vibrant. She came rushing over when she saw him and you stand up to greet her.
“Hi, you must be Penelope. Spencer told me so much about you,” You greeted and immediately Spencer realized he messed up.
Garcia’s eyes ran over you, then went back and forth between you and Spencer. He could see the gears turning in her head. “Oh, hello!” She chirped, friendly as always but awkward because she heard nothing about you.
Quickly, Spencer introduced you to Penelope and both you and her shook hands before she put him out of his misery and asked what the problem with the computer was. She took a seat at computer six and you stood next to her, pointing out things on the screen.
“I have some kids that keep coming in and going on all these sketchy websites. I keep blocking them, but they keep finding new ones and it’s loading the computer up with viruses. Then it runs slow and freezes so often it’s unusable,” You shook your head as you explained, exasperated by it all. “Sorry, I know it’s a lot, but do you think you could fix it?”
“Oh, please. Those are some easy fixes! I’ll just remove the viruses and add some more blocking software not even tech savvy kids can get around.” Garcia was already typing at the computer, doing things on the screen Spencer didn’t bother to try and comprehend. He was looking at you as the grin yanked up your lips.
“Really? Thank you so much. I’ve been fighting with this damn thing for weeks. I’m not great with computers.”
“I think you’ve done pretty good so far. You’re much better than Reid, that’s for sure. Sorry fellow genius, but it's true,” she glanced back at him, almost remorseful but still carrying a smile.
You laughed, always eager to tease him. “When he’s on a computer I think he lied to me about having an IQ of 187. He needs my help finding research databases, pulling up old articles, everything but logging in, really.”
“Huh,” Garcia glanced back at him again, only to find his eyes averted and his hands stuffed into his pockets to stop their incessant fidgeting. He was caught and he knew it. He maybe. . . exaggerated how bad he was with computers to you at first, just to get you to come over and talk to him when he first started coming to the library after work, but unfortunately he didn’t know how to end the ruse. Garcia called him a certified technophobe, but even she knew he had those basic skills, especially since she’d seen him do it on his own before. 
“How long do you think it will take?” You asked, glancing over the rest of the computers to the desk. “I just have to get back to managing the front desk.”
“Only about a half hour. I’m going to do the other computers as well to save you some time blocking websites. You can go though, I got this.” She gave you a smile, gesturing for you to leave.
“Thank you again, Penelope. I’ll be back before you’re done,” you promised, fluttering away from the table swiftly to help someone standing at the front desk.
“So…” Garcia was looking up at Spencer impishly.
“So?” He asked, though he had a good idea of what was coming.
“Do you like her?” Her eyes were hopeful, lips spread into a grin. 
“Garcia. . .” he warned, pleading for her not to go any further. He didn’t want to have to lie, but he couldn’t tell her that he was hopelessly falling in love with you.
But that only sold it for her, her hands reaching off the keys to fan her face. “OMG. You do like her!”
He glanced around to see if you heard her exclamation, but you were busy talking to the man standing at the front desk. “Penelope, she’s my friend,” he tried to be firm in his assertion, but even to his own ears it sounded more like a whine.
“A very cute friend! Who seems like the sweetest person on earth. Oh, and she works in a library. So adorable—y'know—because you’re always reading? Are you sure she’s just a friend?” She launched into a ramble, too clouded by the idea that he may be interested in someone to recognize the hurt on his face.
“I’m sure. She’s… she doesn’t like me like that,” he sounded sad, he didn’t mean to, but he was. He had a very hard time hiding his feelings, and now Penelope heard it and was looking at him like he was a kicked puppy.
“Oh, well, I—really? She seemed so. . .” She was at a loss for words, watching as you walked past guiding the man from the desk over to the staircase, likely showing him where to find a specific genre. Penelope shook her head as you disappeared from view, redirecting her focus back to the screen and letting her hands fly back to the keyboard. “I should mind my business. Right. Bad Garcia.”
Spencer frowned, eyes lingering on where you vanished up the stairs. He pulled back out the chair beside her and slumped in it, avoiding her eyes. “Thank you, Garcia.”
He didn’t have to thank her for long though. 
She fixed the computer and you were so incredibly grateful you hugged her. Or rather, you hugged her back after Garcia enveloped you into her arms, so overwhelmed with your praise, but you seemed glad to let it happen. Even after she left, and a few days later the teens returned, they were upset to find the new restrictions on the computer they couldn’t bypass, much to your delight. Spencer was thankful for that, but he was much less grateful when only a week and a half later Garcia slipped up and mentioned you to the team.
He was wrapping up his paperwork fast, reading through documents at lightning speed and filling them out so quickly his handwriting was nearly illegible. But he promised he’d come to the library to see you after work because he was away on a case the past couple days including last Sunday. He was so invested in completing his paperwork he didn’t even notice Derek and Penelope passing him with cups of coffee. 
“Whoa kid, got a date you're running late for?” Derek joked, perching at Spencer’s desk to grin down at him with a teasing smile.
“Oooo, I bet it's that cute—” As the words came tumbling from Garcia’s pink lips, Spencer’s face ripped away from his paperwork to look at her, and with a look of horror she quickly cut herself off to sip from her mug.
Derek’s brows creased, looking between Spencer and Garcia with an amused bewilderment. “That cute what?” When Garcia avoided his eyes, drowning in her coffee, and Spencer’s cheeks turned pink, realization covered Derek’s face. “Oh, okay pretty boy, I see you! That must be why you’ve been on your phone so much. What cute girl have you been talking to?”
Spencer cleared his throat, turning back to his papers as he consolidated them from the cluttered mess into a neat pile. “No one.”
Derek laughed, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “No, no, no. Don’t get all shy now, playa, spill.”
When Spencer refused to respond, continuing to shuffle about his papers, Derek narrowed his gaze onto Garcia, who could drink from her cup no longer and began coughing. It gathered the attention of a few other pairs of eyes in the office just in time for her to finish her choking and begin spilling.
“Okay! She’s this absolutely adorable librarian! She’s the sweetest thing and her style is so cute and I wanted to ask her where she got her glasses from, but I was too distracted because Reid totally likes her and thinks that she doesn’t like him, but I was trying to get all profiler on her because I thought ‘there’s no way she couldn’t like boy genius because he’s just as cute and they are so made for each other’ and—like you guys know, I’m no profiler—but I’m pretty sure she likes him!” Finally she took in a breath, practically hyperventilating and fanning her face.
Spencer gawked at her, wide eyed. “Penelope!”
She looked at him sympathetically, but it was Derek’s face that he focused on. His brows were high on his forehead, mouth gaping as he took all of her words in. “Okay, first of all: wow. Second of all: why do you think she doesn’t like you?”
Spencer chewed on his lip. He didn’t really want to explain himself to Derek and Penelope, two people known for their confidence and dating escapades, but he was cornered. Not only that, but he was becoming so desperate he found himself wanting their advice. “I–I don’t know. Whenever I try to show her I’m. . . interested, she gets quiet and awkward.”
“How have you been showing her you’re ‘interested?’” 
He shrugged, leg bouncing under the table. “Flirting with her I guess?”
Derek scoffed. “You guess?” When Spencer could do nothing but look away with a heavy sigh, Derek continued. “Look man, she could just be shy. I know it’s scary, but you have to just ask her out on a date. That's the only way you’re really going to know if she likes you.”
Spencer picked at a loose thread on his cardigan, voice quiet. “But what if she says no? I just. . .” He licked his lips, playing over the words in his head and wondering if he wanted to be so vulnerable to Derek and Penelope. “I like her so much. . .” he whispered.
Garcia cooed, tottering around the desk in her heels to wrap her free arm around Spencer. “Who could ever say no to you, handsome? I’m positive, she’ll say yes, I know that girl likes you!”
“Hey,” Derek said, getting Spencer to look up at him as Garcia released him. “You got nothing to worry about, pretty boy. Now you go to that library and ask her out to a nice fancy restaurant—which no pretty girl can refuse—and I’ll worry about this paperwork.”
“Are you sure?” Spencer asked meekly, but Derek and Penelope only reassured him and ushered him out of his seat. He was out of the office less than ten minutes later, getting into his car. He flipped down the sun visor to look at himself in the tiny mirror, frowning at his reflection. His hair was always a mess and he needed to shave. 
He flipped the visor back up with a sigh, putting his car in drive and taking himself to the library before he sat in the parking lot all night stressing. He didn’t have to ask you out, but he did have to go because he promised you he’d be there. . . and he missed you dearly.
The library was empty when entered. There were sometimes a few stranglers this late, but on a random Tuesday night the library was clear of everyone but you, bent over wiping down the tables for the night. His eyes roamed over you, breath catching in his chest like it always did when he first laid his gaze on you again.
“Good evening,” he greeted, trying not to startle you with his presence. 
You turned quickly, a smile taking over your bored face when you spotted him standing by the front desk. “Spencer! How was your flight this morning?”
“Fine. I finished the book on biological regulations and development, but I mostly just slept because we had a whole day of paperwork to catch up on.”
“And work today?” You asked, throwing a wet wipe in the trash and plucking out another as you moved to clean the next table.
“Like I said, paperwork. Very boring.” He untucked his hands from his pockets, setting his messenger bag down at the front desk and grabbing a wet wipe from the container to help you wipe down tables. He often helped you with your closing work when he arrived so late, especially on nights you had classes after work. “How about you?”
You shrugged, gesturing around the room with your hands. “It’s the library. Same thing everyday here.”
“That’s not true. What about the clown?” 
A laugh burst from you as you remembered the story you told him the other day on the phone, you curled up in bed and him sitting on a couch in a hotel room five states away. You stayed up late until he got back from the police station just to tell him about the man who came in dressed in a full clown get-up to print out coloring book pages for a birthday party he was running late to. It made your whole week and you just had to tell him, howling particularly hard about how Mrs. Wilson, after thoroughly wiping down the printer, printed out a notice to put on the front door instating a library dress code of no costumes. 
“The clown was probably the most interesting thing to ever happen in this library. That says something about how boring it is.”
“Is the FBI showing up everyday not interesting?” He mocked confused.
You gave him a playful glare over your shoulder. “Okay. I guess you can be the second most interesting thing to ever happen in this library. Right below the clown.”
Spencer chuckled. “I should be offended by that, shouldn’t I?”
“Feel how you want to feel, Spencer. But Bo-Bo is the only one who’s given me coloring book sheets.” You shrugged, playing nonchalance. 
“Oh, because I print those out so often at my job? If I did, there wouldn’t be enough crayons at the dollar store for you to color them all.” Maybe he was in a fake competition with a clown for your favor. Either way, when you ducked your head with a breathy giggle, he knew he won it. 
When you both finished wiping down the tables, he took out the trash while you set about turning off the lights, shutting down the computers, and other small tasks. He met you at the front desk as you collected your bag and jacket, pulling his messenger bag back over his own head. He held the door open for you as you both left the library and stood by your side as you locked the doors. 
“Thank you for helping me close,” you smiled at him as you tucked the keys into your bag.
“Of course.” He wanted to say it should have been Mrs. Wilson helping you, because the old bat usually took off an hour or so before close, but you brushed him off every time he suggested reporting her and he didn’t want to sour your mood. He also liked walking you to your car, especially when it was this late and dark, because the thought of anything happening to you was so devastating he couldn’t stand to think about it.
So he walked with you down the staircase and across the lot to where you parked your car early this morning and he pulled in next to you a little while ago. It was already dark, but the street lamp you parked your car under illuminated you and him as you stood under it, arms wrapped around yourself. You searched for something to say, he could see it in the way your lips twitched and your eyes roamed his face. For a moment, the sound of crickets and the eerie hum of night faded, and Derek’s words were thunder in his ears. He would never know unless he asked you, and he couldn’t live looking at your sweet face knowing he never even tried.
“Would you want to go on a date with me?”
Your eyes nearly as big as planets amplified by your glasses, which glinted off them as you nodded rapidly, lips parting to take in a sharp breath. “Yes!”
Spencer was taken aback. His ears buzzed and a tingling sensation filled his extremities. He was elated, but thrown off by your complete enthusiasm. “Wha–really?”
You shook your head at him, laughing breathily as if he stole the wind from you. “Yes, of course I do, Spencer. I–I’ve wanted. . .” Your eyes looked between his nervously.
“You wanted what?” He insisted, leaning in because he had to know what you’ve been thinking, what you’ve been wanting from him that he missed. 
You looked down shyly, picking at your nails despite how your fingers shook. “I wanted to ask you out when I first met you. When you were just some guy in the library, and I thought you were obviously flirting by trying to impress me but. . . then you were telling the truth and I–I was so embarrassed I was wrong and I thought you didn’t like me like that. . . and soon enough you weren’t just some guy, you were Spencer, and I–um, I couldn’t let myself ruin it.”
His hands gently took yours, stopping their anxious picking. His pupils were blown wide as he looked at you, heart so full and beating so fast he heard it thrumming in his ears. “You couldn’t ruin anything. You’re so. . . perfect,” he mumbled, close enough to taste your air. “I haven’t been able to get you off my mind since you gave me that book. I saw you in every poem and reading your thoughts made me feel like I was in your head, feeling what you were feeling. I needed it after every case, I–I needed you. All I wanted was to ask you out but. . .”
He was at a loss for words, but you shook your hand, squeezing his hand in yours. “It’s okay, Spencer. . .” His eyes glanced down to your lips, but just as he considered leaning down to capture them with his, you ducked your head nervously again, softly letting go of his hands. Spencer reeled with disappointment he didn’t kiss you, stuffing his hands back into his pockets. “Um, I did give you that book on purpose. I think the most romantic thing on this Earth is poetry and. . . I hoped it was enough of a sign.”
He recovered quickly, excited just to know you returned his feelings. He sighed into the new open air between the two of you. “I knew it. You bewitched me.”
You giggled, a sweet sound that picked up as you met his eyes again, swatting at him with a hand. “No I didn’t!”
Your laugh dissipated and the two of you were standing in the parking lot, looking at each other under a streetlamp. “Saturday at seven?”
“What?”
“Our date? Is Saturday at seven okay?” He reiterated.
“Oh. Oh, yes. That’s a good time,” you stuttered, snatched from whatever daze you stared at him in. He smiled.
“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll figure out the details?” He offered. You needed time to process it, he thought, because he knew he did. He would get home and sit on his couch, replaying every word from your lips and flutter of your lash in his head. Maybe that was the best part of an eidetic memory.
“Okay.” You nodded. He opened your car door for you and you climbed inside. “Good night, Spencer,” you hummed at him before closing the door.
He watched you leaving the parking lot before he got into his own car because he had to sit there for a minute, calming his pounding heart before he got out on the road. For the first time in a while, he was most excited for Saturday over Sunday.
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dreamescapeswriting · 10 months
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Best Kind Of Aftercare ~ BC
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WORD COUNT: 1.5k
PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader
GENRE: established relationships, punishments, bdsm relationshio, soft dom Chan, aftercare, looking after reader whos crying, soft chan
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2023
⤜MASTERLIST
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The cuffs weren't too tight on you, they never were, Chan always made sure that you were okay before he went ahead with any kind of punishment that he gave to you and tonight was no different. Well, maybe a little.
You'd pushed him a little too far this time with what you'd been doing and now you were having to pay the consequences of your actions. 
"I said I was sorry." You whined out a little, struggling against the cuffs before realising you couldn't do anything with them. The only way out of this was going to be your safe word and you weren't going to use it, not when you still felt completely safe and happy with how things were going. 
"You disobeyed me, again." He growled out, his hand rubbing over your bare ass cheek before roughly slapping down against your skin filling the quiet room with a loud slapping sound and causing you to hiss out. 
"What happens to girls who disobey?" He questioned, your eyes trained on him as you followed him around the bedroom, he was naked and still hard as a rock - no thanks to you. All you'd done was pull away from him whenever he was about to cum, edging him so to speak. It was something you really enjoyed doing to Chan since it would always send him wild for you. It wasn't something you did often but you knew it was one of the things that would wind Chan up so much it would result in a punishment or in him pinning you down so he could finally finish - either way you adored the outcome.
"They get punished," You did your best to hide the smirk that was playing on your lips, if Chan knew you were enjoying this punishment then he would change it and you didn't want that. Spanking was your favourite form of being punished and you weren't about to let him change it out on you, 
"Good," He reached into the small wardrobe where you kept your toys and you kept your eyes on him, waiting to see the black riding crop the two of you would use when it came to spanking but instead your eyes widened a fraction.
"Don't look so scared now, you were the one who pushed me too far." He chuckled darkly. The previous weekend the two of you had taken a trip into the city and stumbled upon a new toy shop, you found a whole new set of toys you wanted to play with and it just so happened Chan found the perfect opportunity to use his. It was a black flogger that had come in a complete bondage set - the same one that the black cuffs you were currently sporting came from as well.
"A flogger?" You sounded nervous and that was because you were, spanking you'd done almost a million times - maybe that was dramatic - but still. You'd spanked with a paddle before, his hand and a riding crop but never a flogger, the two of you had mentioned it once or twice. It wasn't that you didn't trust Chan with it, it was just it had so many more ways to hit someone's ass than a typical spanking toy and you were a little anxious about it.
"We can try it and if you don't like it, we'll stop," Chan was never going to force you into doing something you weren't comfortable with and you knew if you said no right now all of this would stop and go away but a part of you wanted this. 
"I'm ready." You nodded moving toward the end of the bed and arching your back ever so slightly so that your ass was in the car, Chan's eyes finding yours as a smirk took over his lips.
"We're going to count to ten," He told you as he gently ran his hand over your asscheek before lifting the flogger into the air. The anticipation inside of your stomach was beginning to make you feel a little sick but you braced yourself for this, you could do this. Spanking was something you'd always found enjoyable and you saw no reason for it to change now. 
The first time it came into contact with your skin wasn't so bad but you'd whimpered, pulling against the cuffs on your hands and letting out a strangle whine.
"Fuck," You whispered into the sheets, It was hurting a lot more than you thought it was going to but you wanted to keep going.
"Count," Chan ordered in a deeper tone of voice, your head spinning at just how hot he sounded. 
"One," You mumbled, looking over your shoulder at him and watching as he brought the flogger down harder and faster this time. Hot tears sprang to your eyes and you felt them rolling down your face,
"I said count!" He yelled out rather harshly, you took in a deep breath and whimpered as you tried to get your mind to focus on the task at hand. 
"Two!" This time when Chan raised the flogger you thrashed around and moved away from him,
"DON'T! PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T!" You screamed out trying to move around on the bed but panic began to set in as you realised you were trapped right now and had no chance of getting away from him,
"RED!" You added on, whimpering over and over again. As soon as the safe word reached his ears the flogger was dropped onto the floor and the cuffs were released using their emergency release. You scrambled away from Chan, curling up into yourself at the head of the bed as he watched you closely. 
"Deep breaths baby," He whispered to you, showing you his deep breathing so that you would follow along with him. Your eyes found his as you tried to focus on him being there with you, he wasn't the dominant CHan anymore he was the soft and gentle dom with you,
"I'll grab the creams, you going to be okay?" He questioned as you quickly nodded your head at him and watched as he left the room to go into the bathroom. Your heart was racing as you tried to do your deep breathing, your eyes slowly shutting as you pulled the silk sheets up and around your body.
When Chan returned he found you lying on your stomach, tears rolling down your cheeks as he slowly sank down onto the bed beside you.
"Do you want me to apply the cream?" You already knew which cream he was talking about You nodded, not being able to bring yourself to actually speak just yet. You didn't trust yourself not to start sobbing, 
"I'm going to touch you now," He whispered, wanting you to know everything he was going to do before he did it so as to not scare you in any way. The cream he was using was something you used after every spanking session, it was a cocoa cream and some aloe vera to help try and reduce any swelling that was going to happen.
"Ice packs?" You stuttered out when you noticed them sitting beside his lap on the bed.
"I was reading they can be good after using a flogger." He looked at you with a sad smile and he went back to carefully massaging in the cream before placing the ice packs onto each of your cheeks causing you to hiss out.
"I'm so sorry Yn." He whispered as he lay beside you, your eyebrows forming a frown as you stared at him. Why was he sorry? You were the one that felt sorry since you hadn't managed to make it through the punishment?
"Why? I should be sorry, I couldn't do it for you." You looked down at your hands but Chan instantly took your face into his hands and turned your head to look at him.
"You have NOTHING to be sorry for," He told you as he continued to hold onto you, shaking his head. 
"You should never feel sorry for not being able to do something. You tried, you didn't like it and that's fine. Please don't be sorry," He begged you, kissing your cheek softly as tears continued to roll down your cheeks,
"I shouldn't have sprung this on you, I should have spoken to you more about it and waited until we were both ready." You nodded at him with agreement and he smiled weakly, 
"Stay with the ice, I'll run you a cool bath and we can spend the night doing whatever you want?" He suggested making you smile weakly and nodding at him. Chan was a hard dom when the time called for it but he was also a soft dom with the best kind of aftercare that there was for you. It was specialised for the two of you since it wasn't just the one being punished that needed aftercare sometimes.
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Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @djeniryuu @backintomykpopphaseagain @choisoorin
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virtual-bunny · 2 months
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Gojo and Squirt
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bunny’s note: i haven’t been able to write a lot bc i have no motivation and it honestly upsets me, so this is probably trash
pairings: Gojo x chubby reader
WARNINGS: overstimulation, force, a bit of dub-con, short “fic”
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Gojo would whine when you squirt.
Like he would be fingering you, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“Please baby give it to me, please please.” He would whine.
And you have no idea what he’s even saying because his fingers feel way too good and you just keep gasping and moaning and tossing around the bed, holding onto Gojo’s hair.
Your moans turn into heavy breathing as Gojo starts too eat you out like his life depended on it, looking at you and fingering you without stopping, his face and hand covered in your juices.
“Satoru-!” You whine, but Gojo is in a trance, he could feel his arm and hand cramping up but he didn’t care. Your poor pussy was so sore it started to hurt. You tried pushing Gojo off but he would grab your wrist and look up at you.
“Don’t move me.” His face was smeared in shiny and white juices, his eyes so darken, you felt like could cum just by looking at him like this.
You tried to tell him to stop but he just couldn’t, he wouldn’t and didn’t stop.
Gojo liked to hold onto your love handles, squeezing them so hard it would leave marks. He loves holding onto your tummy for support, to bring you in closer. But it also made him go faster, and faster, and faster
So you squirted again, your whole body shaking, Gojo having to put his arm on you to restrain you. You cried out, telling him to stop, but Gojo would just laugh, thinking it was so funny that he could make you react this way.
And although you kept repeating to him that “is too much Satou~”, he didn’t care, he was selfish. He moaned and groaned every time he licked you, jerking himself off to your taste. (and your cries)
You were overstimulated, barely thinking. It didn’t matter how many times you’d tell him to stop, he wouldn’t listen. As time passed, you’d realize that Gojo never listened to your protests. You think it’s been about maybe an hour or so, and he was still going at it. Gojo only took two breaks.
One of them was to drink water.
And the other one was to make you sit on his face.
You had protested because you were self conscious, but Gojo only groaned and rolled his eyes, pushing you onto his face, his strong arms wrapped around you.
You didn’t even know you were grinding on his face until he gently pushed you away.
“I thought you didn’t want anymore?” He’d grin, but you didn’t hear him, you thought you’d lost your senses, the only thing you could feel was how your pussy was pulsating.
Gojo kept going, he didn’t care that you were crying, and he didn’t care that you felt like your soul was getting sucked out of your body, so you just let him do whatever it was he wanted to do to you.
You were his toy after all.
180 notes · View notes
estxkios · 5 days
Note
HEYYY OMG I LOVE UR WRITING WHAT??
ANWAYS, could you do something with drunk bill? not smut, but like bassicly reader picks him up from a party or something and he’s like SUPPERRDUPPERR drunk LOL. and later in the story he’s keeping reader awake by talking so much, and reader just exhausted and so tired of his shit and accidentally tells him to shut the fuck up or something like that. then billy willy starts crying bcs he’s drunk and can’t process and reader just comforts him.
TYSM!! xx
FEELINGS ੈ✩‧₊˚
2008 bill kaulitz x fem!reader
summary : the request :3
warnings: ANGST with comfort!!, reader is grumpy, drunk bill, a lot of swearing, bill gets comfort not the reader...
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;- 2:16 am
“what the fuck..?” you muttered under your breath.
your room was completely dark, your phone screen turning on as you received text after text was the only thing that illuminated it.
you tried to shift your position in bed, turning away from the phone. 
you tried to ignore the messages.
but they just kept coming to a point where you could no longer ignore the irritating rattle of your phone against your nightstand.
you let out a string of curse words as you shift in your bed once again.
you reach your arm out towards your nightstand and aimlessly grope for your phone until you find it.
you squint your eyes as they adjust to the brightness of your phone, finally seeing who has been disturbing your sleep.
it was your boyfriend.
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;- 2:24 am
you and bill had eachothers location, so finding him wasn’t going to be the hard part. 
the hard part was going to be trying not to fall asleep at the wheel as your drove to whatever house party bill was attending tonight.
well, trying to get your drunk boyfriend in the car would be hard too, but based on his texts, he would probably be too intoxicated to break free from your arms as you shoved him in the back seat like you have done previously.
-; 2:35 am
you could hear the faint sound of trashy music playing as you pulled into the driveway and right as you exited your car you bee-lined for the front door.
you pounded on the door loudly enough so that people would be able to hear it over the music. 
no answer.
“oh-! hiii baby!” a voice said behind you, to which you immediately whipped your head around.
“whatthefuck-“ you stopped when you realized who it was, “bill? why the fuck are you outside?” 
“i was jus’ waiting for youu!” he stumbled towards you and smiled.
you shook your head and laughed to yourself in disbelief. how much had he had to drink?
“yeah, okay.” you paused, “we’re going to my house. c’mon” 
you grabbed bills arm and led him to the passenger seat, he was trying to open the door while you rummaged around in your purse trying to find your keys, the darkness which surrounded the two of you definitely didn’t help this.
bill kept pulling the door handle.
“bill fucking stop you’re gonna rip the door handle off-..“ you found your keys and unlocked the door.
“m’sorry! i jus wanna-“ he tried to continue talking but you pushed him into his seat as fast as you could and shut the door.
you were so ready to get back in your bed as sleep. 
-; 2:40 am
on the drive back to your house, bill stayed mostly quiet.
“are you okay?” you asked him in a concerned tone, “because you’re usually a fucking obnoxious drunk-“
“im not drunk.!.” he looked at you with a very stern expression and you couldn’t help giggle.
“okay.”
-; 2:50 am
when you finally got back to your house you did the same as when you arrived at the frat house. 
you immediately bee-lined for the door.
except the difference was you now had a drunk bill following you.
once again fumbling with your keys, you unlocked the door, bill attached to your arm.
“go to the spare room bill, or take the couch, i don’t care.” you said as you hung your jacket and purse back in their designated areas.
“okayyy..” bill obliged, walking down the hallway towards the bedrooms.
you followed after him moments later, walking into your bedroom.
as you went to settle into your bed you saw something that certainly wasn’t one of the many blankets that littered your room.
“bill.”
“hm? oh hi y/n!” you could see his toothy smile at you even in the darkness. 
“bill, i said go to the spare room. i actually need to sleep tonight. please, baby.”
“but- but i don’t wanna be alone!” he cried, “i promise i will never ever do this again, please can i just stay in here?”
you thought about shoving him off of your bed and letting him find his way to the spare room, but then you thought about how hard it would be to get him off of the floor once you pushed him off the bed.
so you scratched that idea.
“fine..” you muttered, “but be quiet, okay? can you do that for me?” you kissed him lightly on his sweet alcohol-ridden lips.
he looked at you with drunken eyes and smiled. “okay..”  
you smiled at him through the darkness and planted a kiss on his forehead, then continuing to position yourself in a comfortable sleeping position. 
after moments of silence, you thought bill had fallen asleep.
but no.
you flinched as he started fidgeting with your hair, although soon after you leaned into the touch as he usually did this to help soothe himself to sleep
then you heard suppressed giggles behind you which soon turned into full-on laughs.
you tried to ignore him, thinking it would end soon.
but once again, no.
“bill, stop.”  you would whisper, but he couldn’t. 
he brought his hand up to cover his mouth. 
big mistake.
the hand he intended to cover his mouth with was the one he had tangled up in your hair, which led to him accidentally tugging on your hair as he brought it up to his mouth. 
“bill what the fuck!? - ow!” you whipped back at him, “that was my fucking hair!”
you rubbed the back of your head where bill had tugged to soothe the pain, muttering to yourself as you did so.
bill didn’t utter a word. 
you stared into his pitiful eyes and spat many insults at him before grabbing a stray pillow and smacking it between the two of you.
that had to keep him from disrupting your sleep, right?
not right.
the giggles that you heard behind your back minutes ago had now turned into small whimpers.
the bed shook behind you as bill whined out an unsteady breath.
he had to be messing with you.
you turned around for the final time, about to completely snap, “bill can you just fucking-“
you fell silent and stared into bills eyes which were somehow even more pitiful than before.
his makeup was not yet running down his face but it was smudged under his eyes, a streak of the black shadow ran up into his hairline where he had presumably wiped it.
bill sat up, but that didn’t keep him from breaking down. “i didn’t mean to pull your hair..!!” he hid his head in his hands, sobbing into them.
“oh bill…” you almost started crying seeing the state that he was in. how could you have made your own boyfriend feel like this?
you removed the pillow that you had put between the two of you, discarding it onto the floor as you practically scooped bill up in your arms.
you hugged him tightly as he sobbed into your shoulder.
“i- im so sorry!!” he whined out almost incomprehensibly. he was a drunk, sobbing mess.
“bill.. please don’t apologize..” you stroked the back of his head, gently combing through his rough black hair.
“do you still love me?” his manicured nails dug into your shoulders nervously as he waited for a response.
your heart sunk as his words. had you made him feel like you didn’t love him?
you moved your arms to wrap firmly around bills torso, pulling him flush against you.
you held him tightly, holding back tears of your own as you rested your chin on his head.
“bill..” you trailed off, moving your head away from his as you gently tried to get him to meet your gaze. “i love you so much.. i’m sorry for snapping. really. i’m so fucking sorry. i’m just so tired and-“ 
bill cut you off by smashing his head into your chest, “i really didnt mean to hurt you.. i was just trying to go to sleep..”
“i know you didn’t mean to hurt me bill.. its really okay.”
you felt bill nod into your chest, the poor boy was so tired and he was just trying to soothe himself to sleep.
god, why did you yell at him?
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oh i really hate this but enjoy nonetheless
121 notes · View notes
torasplanet · 7 months
Text
❝𝙄 𝘽𝙀 𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙆𝙄𝙉 𝘼𝙏 𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙆𝙄𝙉' 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙃𝙀𝙍.ᐟ❞
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H. RINDOU + F. READER
𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ; rindou never thought he loved you despite what everyone said but when he saw you drinking and talking with fucking nahoya kawata, he can't help but be upset.
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ; smut, maybe a little angsty or sappy, slight degradation, public sex, alley sex, drinking, clubs, reader standing on business!!, manwhore!nahoya, toxic relationship, rindou being a bitch, toxic!rindou, slightly toxic!reader, bonten au but like combined with the 14th timeline (with straight hair smiley), yes i did write this because i heard this song, petnames (baby, babygirl, rinnie, etc), guns, rindou shooting a guy bc of yalls public indecency, he says i love u for the first time, uneditedd, rinnie makes no sense at all, skin color not mentioned
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‘I love you’
Three words that rindou has never said, to you at least.
He never thought he’d say it because he didn’t think it was true, he didn’t love you. He would kiss you, hug you, treat you well and he enjoyed your company but he’d never think he actually loved you outside of your body and how good of a fuck you were and maybe your personality too but Ran would disagree. 
Ran always said that hook-ups and friends with benefits existed for a reason and if that was true, and that Rindou didn’t have to ask you out and share an apartment with you. The younger haitani would always just brush it off telling him that he didn’t understand but, to be honest, Rindou didn’t really understand it either.
He never had the desire to tell you he loved you and he never really thought that he did but rindou did everything with you that any normal person would do with your significant other, he bought you stuff, very expensive stuff I might add, you two had sex, you two went on dates, he’d cuddle if you wanted to and many other things but every time you’d tell him that you loved him, it was always hum or a grunt in response but never those three words you’ve wanted to hear since the start of your relationship.
And of course, you noticed, you noticed really early actually but constantly brushed it off as him being too nervous or too scared. After all, he and his brother had no one but each other when they were younger and their parents weren’t really in the picture so telling someone that you love them must be hard so you stopped worrying too much about it but after a couple of months, you started to get really upset…he didn’t love you and it didn’t take you multiple people to tell you that, only one. Ran told you, he said that Rindou said he didn’t love you but he highly doubted that but you didn’t care what Ran thought. Rindou said he didn’t love you and that was enough to break your heart.
You cried almost every day when he wasn’t home with your tears and drool dampening your pillows and sheets as you hyper-ventilated and when Rindou was home, you’d just go and cry in the shower probably harder than you did when he wasn’t there.
Although, eventually you stopped being a little bitch and grew up. If he didn’t care about you, you weren’t going to care about him or his feelings and started to do what you wanted, ignoring him, not cuddling, not doing anything you two would normally do and this obviously caused problems between you and him leading to lots and lots of arguments that always ended with either you walking out of the house and him following you telling you to get your ass back inside while firing a gun at where you were stepping to prevent you from walking further or you lying in the bed on his chest after make-up sex and either way you’d still end up crying because you kept falling for his false apologies and going back to him instead of leaving.
That still didn’t stop you from doing whatever the fuck you wanted though because you were always reminded of that he didn’t care so you still didn’t care. No, you didn’t care about how he felt about your short dresses when you went out, no you didn’t care when you’d walk away from him in a club instead of staying. You certainly did not give a fuck about him sitting mere inches away from you while you talked with Nahoya who you knew he fucking hated. But you weren’t doing it to spite him, you were doing it because it’s what you wanted to do and someone who couldn’t even say he loved you wasn’t controlling your actions anymore.
“Bad girl, flirting with me right in front of your boyfriend,” Nahoya said with his usual smile while his arm snuck around your waist with his hand resting right above your ass while your handheld onto his bicep “Don’t talk about him right now, he got on my nerves before we left.” You muttered getting closer to him with a smile creeping onto your face, Rindou had yelled at you nearly putting a whole into the wall because he didn’t like your dress and how short it was but you stood your ground, it was an Embroidered Tulle Illusione short dress from Valentino and you thought it was extremely cute even though with a small bend of your body your panties and ass would be on full display.
You found it idiotic how he was so mad at you for wearing something that he bought, the dress was around 13,900 USD and it hadn’t even been released yet so he had to pay extra to get it for you and now he didn’t want you to wear it? Did he just want to make you miserable? “That’s why you want me huh?” The peach-haired man questioned with a tilt of his head as you let out a giggle with his hand drifting down to cup your ass, rindou watched this entire scene play right in front of his eyes from his spot on a sofa next to his brother and sanzu while a stripper tried to flirt with him with her hand on his chest.
His grip on his glass cup tightened and it felt like he was close to shattering the cup as he glared at the two of you “You can’t even get mad at her.” Sanzu said smiling at his friend’s scowl “Yes the fuck I can.” He couldn’t. He was the one who always denied loving her yet when describing her to anyone, he’d sound so in love “Yeah she’s real pretty, funny too. Sweet girl with an even sweeter ass and fuck, I love her tits.” Sanzu laughed at this any time he could, how could you say that you only love her for her body when you start with how pretty she is and her personality before you even get to her body? Rindou was probably the stupidest man alive and Sanzu had not dropped dead yet.
“No the fuck you can’t. You yelled at her from the house to the car and expected her to not wanna get back at you?” Ran chuckled as he sipped from his wine glass with an evil grin on his face matching the pink-haired man’s “Shit, I don’t even think she doing it to get back at him. Babygirl look like she enjoying the shit outta herself.” Sanzu laughed as all three of them watched as you cuddled up to Nahoya, that stupid fucking nickname Sanzu and ran gave you pissed Rindou the fuck off but you all up on that curly-haired fuck made him even more pissed off than he was before Sanzu even said that.
Were you really that mad at him that’d you go over there and practically fuck that whore of a man? Rindou kept himself seated but his eyes didn’t leave your form for a second, he wasn’t going to get up and cause a scene for nothing because you knew better. But at the sight of Nahoya’s hand drifting up your short dress and onto your ass while showing your lace panties that he had bought you and his hand cupping your ass, rindou knew that apparently, you didn’t know better.
He threw back what was left of his drink before tossing the cup against a random wall and hearing it shatter as he pushed the prostitute off him. He stomped toward you grabbing you by your arm making you drop your glass onto the floor breaking it and spilling the Hennessy all over your feet heels “Fuck are you doing!?” You yelled as you tried to pull away from him but his grip on your arm was tight as he dragged you out of the club not caring about you stumbling over your feet because of his pace and your resistance “I should be asking you that.” The purple and blue-haired man grumbled as he pulled you out of the doors of the club and onto the sidewalk into the night.
“Was just talking! Let go of me!” You shouted as he pushed you against the brick wall of a building after dragging you into a nearby alley, he did what you asked but stopped all of your attempts to leave “Yeah so now whoever you talk to gets to put his hand all on your ass practically fucking you in front of everyone!” Rindou yelled into your face as he got closer to you feeling his breath on your face as he yelled but you didn’t flinch and just looked back at him with a frown “Like you give a shit, thought you only were with me ‘cause I’m a ‘good fuck’?” You replied pushing him away from you as you stood up straight getting your back off the wall as he continued to glare hatefully at you. “Yeah, and you’re still mine.” His words were confusing you, he was glaring at you with so much hate and disdain in his eyes but then again, it looked like he cared and his words showed that too.
Rindou got closer to you again as you pondered what to say “Smiley would fuck me better anyway.” You replied nearly spitting into the taller man’s face but he did nothing but crack a grin and laugh at you “Now you’re just trying to be mean. Sure he’ll probably do good but I doubt he’ll be better, I know all your spots and he couldn’t even find them if you pointed them out.” Rindou teased as he poked your side a bit making you jerk your body away from his hand earning a giggle from him at your sudden jumping “He’d love me.” Rindou felt his heart crack a bit at your words, you really thought Nahoya would love you?
Manwhore, player, slut nahoya? The one known to be a cheater? Had he really hurt you that bad that you thought that Nahoya would love you more than he did? He loved you. He may have just figured it out in this second but he did and he thought you were fucking crazy if you thought that serial cheater would actually want more than your body. It was crazy how he figured out he truly loved you because of your pettiness. “I love you.” Rindou replied after a few seconds of silence his eyes a bit softer but your glare stayed with a scoff accompanying it “You really think I’m gonna believe that shit? After everything you’ve done to me?” That’s what you always said when you two argued. Rindou never said ‘I love you’ during these arguments but you somehow always managed to bring up all the shit that he’s done to you and how you’ll never forgive him but you always do.
Tonight you don’t think you would though. He’s now telling you that he loves you? When he’s jealous and has been yelling at you with his alcohol-laced breath that matched yours. How dare he try and use that shit against you to make you stop talking to Nahoya, that’s low even for him and the idea that he might actually be telling the truth (which he was) never crossed your mind, he’s never said those words before so why would he now?
Rindou’s hands were now planted on the wall caging you in between his arms giving you no way out of this conversation “I expect you to know that he won’t love you. You know just as well as everyone else that he’s fucking a new girl practically every two days and you can either be one of those girls or be the girlfriend who’s sleeping alone in bed because he’s fucking some other bitch. Either way, he won't give two shits about you.” His words were harsh as his lilac eyes narrowed at you glowing in the dim fluorescent light of the old and nearly broken lights that were on the building he had you pressed up against, your manicured fingers gently pulled at the end of your dress attempting to pull it down lower to cover the heat growing in between your legs as you rubbed your thighs together. Rindou hadn’t noticed it yet and you didn’t want him to. You were still mad at him. “I’d rather that than be with someone who can’t even tell me they love me.” You spat continuing to look up at him with your brows furrowed in anger and your lips turned into a frown.
A grin returned to the haitani male’s face “You’d rather be cheated on than be with me? Wow, you really are a petty bitch. Or maybe you’re just a whore.” He said rather loudly making you embarrassed as you glanced away from him for a second, this situation started with you doing whatever you wanted but now, you were just saying shit to piss him off more, and for a second, it was working but now, he just didn’t care because he knew how stupid you sounded and was making you realize that too with his mocking laughs “Don’t call me that.” You managed to sputter out from your embarrassment as he continued to laugh and smile at you as if you were the main punchline of a joke, one of Rindou’s ring-clad hands went to your face and held your jaw his sweet smell of caramel mixed with alcohol filling your nose as he looked at you with pure amusement in his purple irises “Why? That's what you are, aren’t you?” He replied tilting his head slightly with his eyes drifting down to your thighs that were still rubbing against each other before making eye contact with you again.
He really was making fun of you and now that he knew of the rubbing of your thighs he’d keep doing it if this argument continued. You stayed silent and didn’t reply to his question and looked down telling him that he had won the argument as you were too embarrassed to say anything else and that if you had anything else to say to him, you were turned on, embarrassed and a bit drunk so you just accepted your defeat not wanting this to turn into another argument that ended in you started to walk home and him shooting bullets at your feet and at you purposely missing while screaming at you to get your ass back in the club. You were too tired to deal with another situation like that.
“That’s what I thought.” Rindou said tilting your head back up and forcing you to make eye contact with him before he pressed his lips against yours while also pressing your body against the brick wall, your features creased at this action and you raised your hand before slapping him across his face separating your lips and leaving a bright red mark on the side of Rindou’s face “You think that just because you gave me a fake ass ‘I love you’ and a kiss, I’m just gonna become your mindless whore and follow you back into the club?” You said prodding your finger into his chest and roughly pressing against the custom Saint Laurent tuxedo jacket he wore. 
Rindou didn’t even acknowledge the pain in his face nor the action that caused it and just lustfully smiled at you “I have to fuck you too?” He added to your question, that he knew you wanted him. It was obvious from how you were nearly creating a fire with the friction you were creating with your thighs rubbing together and how you peered up at him with those wide eyes he always saw whenever you wanted something from him. Specifically, him in between your legs.
You just blinked at him taking in what he said before grabbing the collar of his white button-up and yanking him down sloppily kissing his lips. He let out a laugh in the kiss as you had given him the answer he knew you were going to say, his hand rested on your hip and his other hand released its grip on your jaw before heading down to the back of your thigh before moving up to your butt being squeezed between the fat of your ass and the brick wall and his other hand on your hip repeated the same motion as you two continued to make out “Jump.” He whispered as he held onto your butt and you did as he said, it was so hilarious how just a few minutes ago you were screaming back at him and telling him you didn’t care about what he had to say and now he was telling you to jump and you were doing it, the only flaw was you didn’t ask how high because you already knew how high.
Rindou held you up against the wall and your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively while your hands remained in their place gripping his collar. You whimpered as you broke the kiss before trailing your lips down to his exposed neck kissing and sucking all over his neck and his bonten tattoo. You liked putting hickies there because you knew you weren’t supposed to, he told you not to so it could be visible and that just made you want to do it more after all, you were still pissed at him.
Rindou’s hand crept up your dress to your inner thigh but you glared at him “Make me cum and that’s it. I’m still not talking to you tonight.” You said rudely and rindou smiled as his fingers glided over the wet patch on your panties, the same panties he saw Nahoya reveal to the entire club “Whatever you want baby.” He replied pushing the lace fabric to the side making your back arch slightly from the gush of cold wind hitting your core.
“But you better not go back to that curly-head fuck.” 
“You’d rather I go to Sanzu then?”
“You don’t remember when he almost lost all his fingers ‘cause you tried that shit?”
A small smile grew on your face at the mention of that situation, of course, you remembered. Sanzu wouldn’t stop laughing about it for weeks but he never stopped calling you baby girl even after that and it was most likely because he knew it pissed off Rindou and he loved to piss off Rindou. “I do but maybe I just like his hand on my ass. Maybe he likes it too.” You responded as you watched as Rindou’s hand worked at his belt while he continued to hold you up against the wall with his other “That’s what I’m for.” The hand he had on your ass to hold you up groped your butt as the words left his lips dripping with honey as you watched him lower his pants, not enough for them to pool around his ankles but just enough for him to free himself from the confinements of his boxers.
His cock stood up straight, tip bright red. He angled himself as he moved his hips forward before pushing himself in your leaking cunt “Slid right in huh?” Rindou commented as he watched as you huffed with your mouth opening slightly, he didn’t waste any time and immediately started thrusting inside of you “S...shut up.” All rindou could do was laugh at your stammering while you buried your face into the crook of his neck.
He let out groans as he felt you biting and kissing at his neck while he continued to hold you up against the cool brick wall, your dress shining in the fluorescent lights as you rocked back and forth with his hips meeting yours. 
The usual cycle of your relationship had continued. You and Rindou get into an argument, you say something about fucking another guy, he laughs and it ends in him fucking all of that confidence out of you and you cursed yourself for allowing it once again but with every hit at your cervix, you cared even less because at the end of the day. You loved him, even if you thought he didn’t love you and he never said it, you still loved him. If you didn’t, you would’ve left a long time ago “I love you.” You said as your nails dug into his shoulders, he didn’t respond and just grunted. Like usually.
His thrusts were getting sloppier as he threw his head back letting you deep moans, his Adam's apple bobbing with every voice crack and grunt as your pathetic moans echoed into his ear. Your back harshly hitting the wall repeatedly while you felt your dress bunching up to your hips, was sure to give you a few bruises along with some fingerprint-sized bruises on your ass from how his fingers were digging into the fat of your bottom but this time it was different. He was rougher than he usually was and that’s saying a lot considering he was pretty rough during make-up sex.
Rindou reached one of his hands up to grab your face and he pulled you out of his neck and forced you to look at him, tears in your eyes from the harsh thrusts and slight pain in your back as you looked at him with his purple irises peering down at you softly, instead of anger and lust you expected, love and lust were swirled into the lilac color of his eyes “I wanna…see you. Keep–fuck–looking at me.” The haitani man sputtered out as he breathed heavily, his chest rising up and down quickly with his deep breaths. His hand slowly made its way back to your ass and pushed you up higher as you were slightly leaning down and you kept looking at him resisting the urge to squeeze your eyes shut.
“I fucking love you too,” Rindou said and your eyes widened a bit at this, you didn’t believe him the first time he said that but now, you kind of did. It sounded like he meant it, like it was coming straight from his heart because whenever rindou was having sex with you, he mainly kept quiet unless he was dirty talking or calling you pretty and it was because everything he said in this moment of vulnerability he had with you came from his heart. When he called you pretty, he meant it. When he said how fucking good you felt, he meant it and him telling you that he loves you…well, he meant it and you saw it.
You saw it in his eyes, his roughness, the sound of his voice when he said it, you could tell but there was still that little part in your brain that was somehow still intact while the rest of your mind had gone dumb at this point, told you that he didn’t mean it. He had never said it before so why was he saying it now? He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t have but maybe he did.
Your mouth opened to ask him about it but quickly closed at the sudden flash of light making you and rindou both squeeze your eyes shut. You fluttered your eyes open before turning toward the direction of light shielding your eyes with your forearm and you saw a man, he had his phone up with the flash on laughing as he pointed it toward you and rindou “No fucking way, bonten boss rindou fucking some prostitute?” Did he have a death wish? He sounded like some stupid fanboy.
Rindou let out a grunt of dissatisfaction and annoyance but his thrusts didn’t halt, he reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a gun aiming it toward the phone and he didn’t waste any time pulling the trigger right in front of your eyes with smoke leaving the gun and a loud bang echoing in your eye ringing slightly. You and Rindou watched as the guy fell to the ground a bullet hole in the middle of his face and threw his phone “Oops. Didn’t mean to shoot him.” Rindou said carelessly, you doubted that he actually didn’t mean to do that, you knew that rindou and the rest of Bonten had no issue killing. Obviously.
And rindou had no issue whatsoever shooting someone dead for calling you out of your name which this man had foolishly done “See what I do for you baby?” Rindou said bringing your attention back to him and you didn’t say anything but let out a couple of moans as he continued to thrust inside of your sloppy cunt with squelches and wet sounds echoing into the empty alleyway along with your high-pitched slutty moans. “You gone dumb already? Can’t speak?” You whined at his words as he put his face to your neck sucking at the fleshy skin and pulling at it with his teeth.
“Y-You meant whatchu’ said? T-That you..ngh, love me?” You asked completely dismissing his question and only wanting an answer to why he would tell you that he loved you, but he didn’t respond. Not right away at least and you felt his thrusts get softer and a bit slower which was easier for you to take “Yeah, I do. I love you so fucking much, that’s why I stay with you. That’s why I fight for you, that’s why I kill for you.” Rindou answered in your ear raising his face a bit so you could hear his words clearly but it didn’t sound like he was telling you that, it sounded like he was telling himself that. Telling himself how stupid he was for not realizing his love for you earlier while he reminisced about all the things he had done for you and because of you.
You stayed silent as you moved up and down the wall with your back now fully pressed against the wall so there was no need for your back to feel that pain anymore, your eyes were wide and your lips were parted slightly at his words and your face stayed that way as he pulled his face completely away from your neck to look at you with his lidded eyes “I love you.” He repeated this time staring dead at you and your breath hitched at the sudden rough thrust but you remained with your eyes open as you held eye contact with him. He meant it, he really did. Rindou told you he loved you and…he meant it, it’s all you’ve ever wanted from him.
Your eyes watered as you brought your hands to the cheeks of his face before pulling him in for a gentle kiss closing your eyes as you did so, your tongues fighting for dominance as you and him both moaned and groaned into the kiss. His lips were soft against yours as he practically shoved his tongue down your throat while leaning his body even more into yours, one of your hands went to his hair running your fingers through the multi-colored locks making a mess of the previously tamed and combed strands. Fuck not forgiving him tonight. You knew you would anyway.
When Ran and Sanzu both told you they loved you and just didn’t want to admit it, you didn’t believe them. Not for one bit. Not even when they managed to get Kokonoi, Mikey, and Inui, who could not care less about whatever you and Rindou had going on, to tell you that he talks about you almost all day damn near every day whether it be how much you were pissing him off or what kind thing you did for him that morning. You didn’t believe any of it and said you wouldn’t until you heard those words come from Rindou’s mouth and now that you had, you felt stupid for not believing anything those two said because it was true. For once in their lives, they were telling the truth.
Maybe you would’ve believed them in the slightest if they weren’t such fucking liars.
Your cunt tightened around Rindou’s cock making a groan escape from his lips as he broke the kiss throwing his head back and messing up his hair even more than you did “Gonna take all of it?” He grumbled out as his pace quickened he was getting close and so were you, you were on the verge of spilling everything in that knot inside of your stomach out onto this filthy ground “Mhm!” You hummed in response while violently nodding as tears spilled down your cheeks from the emotional overload and the pleasure in your stomach that caused you to arch your back.
“N-Not gonna spill any? Fuck...!” Rindou continued to tease “No! Just…please rinnie!” You whined out loudly, everyone inside of the club could probably hear your pleas even over that loud music but no one would care. They were all probably too drunk to care in the first place and this wouldn’t be the first time you and Rindou had angry sex outside or inside of the club very loudly. Rindou didn’t say anything and just grunted as he delivered one more harsh thrust colliding his hips with yours for a final time before the knot snapped and you came screaming as you did so. Your cunt tightening around him once again as you did this made Rindou cum right after you emptying himself all in you with a moan following.
You two stood there in that position for a while catching your breath as you peered up at him in all of his post-climax glory with purple and pink strands sticking to his sweaty forehead while he glowed in the lights from above your head. He dropped your legs allowing you to stand on your own stumbling a bit from your heels before his hands went to fix your hair as you fixed your dress “You good now? Not gonna be a bitch or do I need to do s’more?” Rindou asked as he pulled up his pants buckling his belt and smoothing his palms down his tuxedo while watching as you fixed your panties before any of his cum could leak out and onto the floor or down your thigh.
You smiled at him sloppily before nodding earning a tired smile from him, you clung to his arm as you both began to walk back to the club ignoring the lifeless body that rindou had shot dead a minute ago while you smiled dumbly happy with the events that had taken place while rindou’s cum dropped onto the ground blew you as you walked leaking out of the sides of your panties. 
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©torasplanet .ᐟ reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!
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shadesslut · 10 months
Note
Can I request something like readers family forgetting her birthday and ghostface!Ethan or ghostface!Chad or both 🤭 finds out and trying to cheer her up or maybe ghostface gives her a call when she's crying bc this isn't the first time they forgot her birthday but all gf wants to do is wish her a happy birthday with only minor threats (not towards her) and it either ends up with phone sex or a 'present' gets dropped off by her window
Thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy! :)
it takes two
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MINORS DNI
Pairing: (Gf!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader x Gf!Chad Meeks-Martin)
Content Includes: (Slight angst, smut)
Summary: Y/N's family forgets her birthday, but Chad and Ethan have a plan on how to cheer her up.
Masterlist
part 2
The two boys watched closely on their laptop, trying to see every little detail. On their screen was Y/N, their neighbor. They had grown an infatuation with her ever since they met her. She was laid in her bed, under the comforter, crying her little pretty eyes out.
“Dude, how did you get this in there?” Chad asked Ethan, who was smiling proudly at himself. He had bought a small camera the week before, and he snuck it into her room one night. 
“I wish we could hold her.” Ethan softly said as they both kept their eyes on the screen. Ethan ran his fingers along the surface of the screen, near her figure. She had been crying for a good ten minutes, and Ethan and Chad wanted to comfort her. 
“Me too,” Chad replied.
Y/N cried softly as she looked at her phone. She had texted her family asking if they were coming to visit her for her birthday, but they forgot, again. All she wanted on her birthday was someone to celebrate it with her, and she couldn’t even get her family to do it with her. 
“I have an idea.” Ethan suggested it to Chad. Chad nodded at him, letting him continue. “How about we make our girl feel special from an infamous caller?” 
Chad smirked.
Her phone vibrated, and she immediately snatched at it, hoping it was a family member. She slumped her shoulders at the no caller ID, but answered anyway.
“Hello?” 
“Hi, Y/N,” the deep and rough voice cooed. 
She looked at her phone with confusion and held it back up to her ear. “Who’s this?”
“Are you having a good birthday?” Ethan asked through the voice modulator. The two boys giggled with each other as they watched her reaction.
“H-How did you know it was my birthday?” Y/N asked, sitting up, allowing the covers to drop to her lap, revealing the small and tight tank top. Ethan stuttered at the sight, and Chad’s mouth slightly parted. Both of their eyes immediately dropped to her cleavage. 
“I-I,” Ethan stammered, then cleared his throat, “I know a lot about you, my sweet girl.” 
Now Y/N was really scared, she didn’t know who this stranger was, and she surely wasn’t their girl. She stood up off of the bed, and both of the boys audibly moaned and gasped. She was only wearing a pair of black panties, which didn’t have much coverage. 
Ethan felt his dick become hard, and he hesitantly reached down palm himself. 
“Who are you?” Y/N sternly asked into the phone, but Ethan didn’t answer. He was too busy touching himself at the sight of her bare ass. Chad looked at Ethan, waiting for him to respond, and when he didn’t, he snatched the phone and voice modulator from Ethan. Ethan’s hands found their way shoved in his shorts, getting himself off.
“Don’t worry about that,” Chad started. “You having a good birthday?”
Y/N sighed as she gave up with the questions. “Not really, my family forgot.”
Ethan’s hand stopped, and he looked at the screen with a dark, evil expression. 
“They what?” Chad asked through gritted teeth. 
“I’m going to fucking kill them.” Ethan said as Chad comforted Y/N on the phone. She felt her tears start to water once again, blinking her eyelashes rapidly, not wanting to cry in front of this stranger.
“They don’t love you as much as I do.” Chad whispered softly through the phone. “If I could, I’d make them pay for forgetting your special day.”
Y/N looked concerned at Chad’s threat, but an unhealthy part of her loved the attention from him. She wondered if she knew the unknown caller; having no idea it was the two cute boys across the hall. “Give me the phone,” Ethan commanded, which made Chad’s cheek grow warm. 
He handed Ethan the phone, looking him up and down. 
“Do you know what I would do to you for your birthday?” Ethan asked in a low voice. 
Chad reached over to Ethan, softly pressing his lips to his bare neck, causing Ethan to gasp. He ran his fingertips along Ethan’s forearm and continued to kiss him. 
“W-What?” she asked. 
Ethan eyed Chad, whose hands were reaching Ethan’s waistband. “I’d lay you down on your bed, and fuck you until you forget it’s your birthday. Fuck-” Ethan cursed as Chad got a hold of his half-hard dick. Chad kept his eyes on the screen, watching the way Y/N’s ass moved as she paced her room. He stroked Ethan’s cock, dragging his thumb over the wet tip.
Y/N didn’t answer, carefully listening to the quiet whimpers Ethan let out. Chad grabbed the phone out of Ethan’s limp hand and kept stroking him as he held the phone up to his ear. 
“I’d make you feel good, the way you should feel on your birthday. I’d kiss you everywhere my lips would fit.” 
Y/N’s heart beat faster at his words, subconsciously pressing her thighs together. Ethan’s eyes were closed tight at the feeling of Chad’s hand, approaching his high quickly. Ethan gripped Chad’s thigh tightly, and Chad reached over for an empty shot glass that sat on the table. He felt Ethan’s cock twitch in his hand, and he looked up to Ethan, seeing him watching Y/N slowly reach down to her panties. Ethan jerked his hips up, and Chad held the glass up as Ethan came into it. The thick liquid slid slowly down the side of the glass as Ethan moaned Y/N’s name. 
“Look at your door in ten minutes, sweetheart.” Chad spoke one more time into the phone, before hanging up. 
Y/N paced around her front door nervously, waiting. She got a text message, and she instantly checked her phone to see a text from the same unknown caller. 
Happy birthday, look at your door
She opened the door and swung it open, but saw no one. She almost closed the door again before she noticed something reflective on the floor. A little glass vial, with a red bow wrapped around it, sat right in front of the door. She bent down and picked it up, examining it. It held a white liquid, and she felt herself become aroused. 
“Fuck,” She muttered under her breath. 
Two figures appeared behind her, dressed in masks and all black, tilting their heads at her. She was too enamored with the vial to notice them. The two looked at each other, smiled under their masks, and looked back at Y/N.
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cinnajun · 1 year
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 and long distance relationships
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a/n: this was a fun request :) just in general, i think these guys would be pretty good at it (save for a few of them), mostly bc they’re young and very online
notes: yujin is not included due to his age!
wc | 2.5k
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from worst to best at handling it
jiwoong
long distance with jiwoong is just point blank difficult
like i’ve said before i feel like relationships with jiwoong are long lasting so
when you receive whatever opportunity that requires your presence overseas, you’ve been dating for at least a couple of years
your routine is set and there’s a high probability you’re living together
so it’s a major disruption in the flow of your lives
and it’s not to say that jiwoong doesn’t want you to go, nor does he want things between you two to end
it’s just hard to wrap his mind around not having you around for dinner or having to sleep alone :(
so yeah safe to say this is going to be a very difficult time in your lives
depending on how far you are, jiwoong will absolutely be visiting you and staying in whatever apartment you’ve found yourself in
if you’re close enough (aka flight less than 5 hours) he’ll visit multiple times, but anything more than that he’ll probably end up only going once
it’s hard to get time off when you’re a working adult </3
it’s the most difficult for the both of you during holidays
there are days off you had in korea that you don’t have off now, so you physically hurt knowing that jiwoong is sitting at home instead of being on your celebratory day-off dates
and it’s just hard to keep him updated on your life
you fall into a routine of when to call each other and whatnot pretty quickly though
you also write things you want to tell him down in your notes app so when you’re talking you don’t miss anything
and really the main thing that gets you through this is those little sort of habits that you learn to have along the way
but man. you cannot wait to go home
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hanbin
this might be a hot take but i think hanbin would hate being in a long distance relationship
in the beginning, he’s absolutely convinced that everything will be fine and nothing will change
his mindset is “i kept my friendship with matthew up while he was in canada, so what’s stopping me from keeping up my relationship with my s/o”
and then a week passed without you and he got really depressed
i think being in a relationship with hanbin means spending a lot of time together, holding hands, and staying near him
so when you’re so far that he can’t even fly to you easily it’s just so difficult for him
but his last resort is breaking up with you
like it’s seriously his worst-case scenario
when hanbin loves someone, he loves them very, very hard
so he will do everything in his power to keep your relationship going, but relationships are a two way street
so you need to put in the work that he’s putting in, too
obviously you’re likely abroad because you’ve taken an opportunity (aka a job) so you can’t be online all the time but
call him when you’re free, tell him when you’re going to be busy, and let him know about every single little victory that you have so you can celebrate together
and, for the love of god, do NOT bring up the fact that you can tell he hates long distance
i’m so serious with this one
hanbin absolutely will not tell you that he doesn’t like it
because, if he knows you know, he’ll feel like you feel like he’s not willing to fight for your relationship (does this sentence make sense)
but just know when you get back you’ll watch him finally relax after like 50 years lol
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taerae
i’m going to keep it short: taerae’s heart shatters into a million pieces when you break the news to him lol
like obviously he tells you he’s proud of you and that he couldn’t be more excited for you it’s just that he’s actively crying as he says that
with taerae i think you actually almost reject whatever offer you’ve received, but you pretty quickly realize that doing that would make him feel worse so you decide to muscle through it
the worst part of long distance with taerae is the like week before you leave
he cries a lot and then feels bad for crying but he doesn’t want you to go you know
when he drops you off at the airport you have to take hanbin with you because he’s crying too hard to drive back to his apartment
he hugs you outside the airport doors for like 5 minutes and hanbin has to be like okay … let’s go now … okay … we need to let them get on their flight …
and then you ugly cry for half the flight … like someone reports you to the flight attendant and they’re like is everything okay ?? and you’re like no i just left my boyfriend in korea
after that i think it’s not nearly as bad as you both thought it was going to be LOL
he’s a lil bit (incredibly) clingy at first and gets rly butthurt when you don’t update him on your every move, but then he cries to hao and hao is like “here are some tips!”
then he’s very sweet
taerae will send you videos of him playing the guitar or of him just screwing around with the boys
he also sends you cringy little paragraphs about how much he loves you and how proud of you he is
obviously taerae misses you but tbh it’s like you never left
the only reason he’s not higher up is the pure agony you went through for that week before
taerae the man that you are
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gunwook
graduated from taerae school of how do i deal with my s/o going abroad for a bit
he acts all cool with it
when he drops you off at the airport he gives you the gunwook bear hug and is like “i’ll see you later! love you!”
then you get off the plane 10+ hours later and you have like 17 texts from gyuvin describing gunwook going through the 5 stages of grief
it’s actually kinda funny ngl because it’s like a picture of him hugging a pillow with a pint of ice cream in his hand while he watches your favorite movie and cries
also like taerae, everything is absolutely fine within like a week
gunwook’s really cheesy while you’re gone though and that’s how you tell he really misses you
he’s making playlists and posting old cute pics of u on his story with the caption “10,000 km away”
gyuvin also told you that he giggles and kicks his legs every time you text him when he’s not expecting it
he also just hangs out with your family while you’re abroad
he’ll text you like “damn y/n your mom made the most delicious dinner tonight” and you’re like ??? without me????
you later find out your mom invited him over so they could be sad and miss you together which is soooo embarrassing
gunwook will mail you random items from your room and with a note that says “why didn’t you take this” as if you didn’t meticulously pack every single thing you brought with you
so then you have to spend money to mail it back because you don’t want to have to buy another suitcase (you end up having to anyway, but you’re still glad you mailed the things back)
when you get back he cries in your arms for like an hour lol
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gyuvin
gyuvin acts like it’s not a big deal but lowkey it’s the biggest deal in his life
he’s like “omg congrats do u wanna get dinner”
that night he cries in hao’s arms like a little baby and then he gets over it
he’s genuinely so happy for you, and there are no strings attached to that excitement
one of his closest friends left his home to pursue his dreams so he should let you leave to pursue them too, you know?
the only reason gyuvin isn’t higher actually is because the other three are long distance from everyone they know LOL
long distance with gyuvin is remarkably similar to just being there with him
when he’s hanging out with friends you’ll be on the phone (albeit muted) just in case you need to contribute to the conversation
and he gets really excited when you have him on the phone while you chill out with your (new) friends
assuming you’re studying abroad because gyuvin’s not old enough to have an s/o with a job that has overseas opportunity, a lot of your time is spent in your dorm so you can call him </3
gyuvin is very popular with your overseas friends and they all follow him on instagram
any time someone hits on you they let him know and also let him know that they told whoever hit on you that you’re TAKEN!!
obviously he doesn’t enjoy knowing that people are hitting on you and he can’t do anything about it but he appreciates that your friends shut it down
all in all i think this is a healthy era of your relatioship and it strengthens your trust in one another a lot
but he prefers you being there with him so come home soon pretty please <3
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ricky
yeah long distance with ricky is barely an issue
like when you tell him he’s like “oh…okay” and then he’s sad for a little bit
but then he’s sending you off like nothing is wrong!!! and truly nothing is wrong
i think actually you’d be more sad than ricky is but that’s not to say he’s not going to miss you at all
of course he is
but ricky is a seasoned misser and knows how to keep up relationships from far away (even if he’s never had experience with it being a romantic relationship) so he’s mostly concerned with brainstorming the best ways to like keep things going in a way that isn’t jarring
he consults pretty much everyone he knows on what they think he should do, almost like he’s collecting data or something
so once you actually leave ricky is pretty interactive and prepared for your escapade!!!!
he texts you at specific times of day he knows you aren’t busy and you schedule daily calls at the same time once you know your every day schedule
like gyuvin i’m assuming you’re studying abroad, so your class schedule is on ricky’s home screen (it’s a picture widget) but it’s been translated into his timezone
sometimes he texts you during classes he knows you don’t like and you’re like … isn’t it 4 in the morning
he doesn’t answer that question
but to be fair you do the exact same thing so can you really talk…
like gyuvin, your overseas friends LOVE ricky
sometimes he will sponsor you doordashing dinner and by extension your friends (except you make them pay him back LOL)
and they think he’s the funniest guy ever
bonus: sometimes gyuvin will text you pictures of him scrolling through old texts </3
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hao
is this at all shocking
he’s so perfect
doesn’t even bat an eye when you tell him you want to go away for this opportunity you have
“okay! how long until you leave? are they paying for your flights? do you want to start packing now? do we need to get clothes for different weather?”
once you’re off he does get a bit sad but he promises himself that by the time you’re off the plane he’ll be feeling better
he breaks the promise but you don’t know that because he acts like everything is just fine!!!
throughout the duration of your time away, communication with hao is very steady and consistent
you’re each putting in enough energy for a perfect 50/50 split <3
when you start making friends overseas, you show them hao and they’re in awe that you managed to bag the most perfect person on earth
this makes you sad, not because you’re jealous, but because hao would say they should be more surprised he managed to bag you </3
like ricky, he will also sponsor your meals from time to time!! sometimes he doordashes stuff to your place without even telling you like its that serious
hao is the champion at curing your homesickness, mostly because he figured out how to cure it for himself first
if you ever feel like things are too much and you need to leave, he will drop everything to go out there and get you feeling back up to things
he sends little presents every time you have a big achievement or an exciting event
and he’s the number one endorser of getting yourself little treats when you’re feeling proud of yourself
he’s so proud of you
and he’s so happy you got to experience something so exciting
but he can’t lie, it is a big breath of fresh air when you get back lol
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matthew
tbh for the sake of this let’s pretend you went to canada bc
why can i see you moving in with matthew’s family idk
you tell him about the opportunity and he’s like My mom will host you
you end up living with his sister LOL
because of that it’s barely like you’re gone
i mean he can come visit you for an extended amount of time and he gets to see his family so its like 2 in 1
in all actuality it doesn’t matter where you go, long distance with matthew is EASY PEASY!!!
i can see him being really trusting in a relationship and that makes things so much easier than not
the first time you get invited out you ask him “hey i got invited to a party tonight, is it okay if i go” and he’s like “ya why wouldn’t it be?? why are you asking me??”
okay feminist
he makes you watch anime with him over like teleparty or something </3 but it’s cute bc his chat reactions are like adorable
#3 of the “your friends love him squad”
they all ask you how you managed to find him because he literally doesn’t care what you do as long as you’re not cheating on him (and you would never do this)
and he’s all happy go lucky every time you talk
when he visits they’re in love with him (PLATONICALLY)
they all ask about his friends in the “haha do you have a brother” way and he’s like “my friend hanbin!”
so now all of your overseas friends want to date hanbin which is awkward
he will also make you buy like presents and things for his friends’/family’s birthdays
obviously with his money but he’s like “can you go to (store) and pick up (item) and then wrap it up and give it to my mom”
it’s very silly
all in all matthew is the long distance relationship you DESERVE!!!!
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thank you for reading!
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rubyreduji · 6 months
Text
Apple of My Eye — xmh
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summary: minghao’s arrival to auradon changes your life as you know it, and not just because he’s the son of the woman who poisoned your mother
tags: fluff, descendants au, child of snow white reader, reader is shorter than minghao wc: 2.4k an: happy birthday mika @toruro :333 i love you so much pls enjoy bc i think i rewrote this maybe 7 times no joke an 2: this fic takes place in the same universe as “good to be bad” which features gyu, wonu, and child of hades reader. you don’t really have to read it to read this one, but it would be cool if you did!
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From the moment you were born, it was made clear that you were always going to be second. Whether in your parents’ eyes or the citizens or even other kids. Nothing you could do would amount to your brother.
Joshua was athletic, charismatic, handsome, the future King of Charmington. Every kid in Auradon was drawn to him. You were just the little sister.
Joshua could never do wrong, or at least your parents thought so. You on the other hand, had everything about you nitpicked. You had to be the perfect daughter so you could one day find a suitor for you to marry. That led to long days of you in lessons about etiquette while Joshua would run around the castle with Seungcheol and Seokmin, not caring about what kind of disturbances they caused. At the time it didn’t bother you, you wanted to do anything to please your parents.
After you started school, it was hard for you to make friends, and eventually you just gave up, submitting to being the outcast of the class. It didn’t help that your brother would go around and pick on you to all of his friends just for a few laughs.
Years went by and you were still doing your best just to be a good daughter. In class you were still an outcast, with people either whispering behind your back or scoffing at you when you walked past. It wasn’t until you started to attend Auradon Prep that you realized how useless it all was. 
No matter how prim and proper and perfect you are, you’ll never be anything in anyone’s eyes as long as Joshua is alive. You think about all those years you tried to make everyone happy, to be the best you could be, only for it to amount to nothing.
Maybe that’s why you were so drawn to Minghao. His subtle kindness and gruff but charming presence. It makes you laugh to know that if you told the little girl you used to be that later in life she’s going to fall in love with the son of her parents’ sworn enemy, she’d probably cry.
Right now though, you’re completely sure you’d follow Minghao to the end of the world. 
When you were little, your parents used to sit in your living room in front of the fireplace and tell you and Joshua the great story of their love. You’ve heard it a million times, not just from your parents but also your seven uncles.
When the proclamation was made that the villain kids would be coming to Auradon, your parents were scandalized. When they found out that one of them was the child of the Evil Queen, they were outraged. They were fearful for what would happen to you and (mostly) Joshua. 
They told you to steer clear of any of the VKs as their parents will have raised them to be just like them. That they will be cruel and ill-mannered and up to no good. That nothing could come off the isle without it being tainted by the evil kept within.
When you were little, you were always told that the Evil Queen is a jealous old woman and vile of heart. Though that may be the case, you’re not sure you should view her son as the same. Not everyone is their parents. When you think about the first time you and Minghao met, you know there’s no doubt about it.
You were walking down the hallway when you caught sight of him a few feet ahead of you. You recognized him from the press release about the proclamation. Minghao, son of the Evil Queen. Your eyes were drawn to his dark blue hair and thick leather jacket. You were completely stopped in your tracks, too entranced by the deep scowl on his face. Unfortunately because you stopped walking, you were easily run over.
“Get out of the way,” the person growled as they shoved you, causing you to drop your books.
“S-sorry,” you squeaked out. You bent down to pick up your books, only to hear a new voice.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re walking?” You looked up to see Minghao looming over the person who ran into you. They cowered away. “No need to be a dick. Pick the fucking books up.”
They nodded and scrambled to grab your books, hastily passing them back to you before they ran off. You stared down at the book before redirecting your gaze to the tall boy in front of you. You bowed to him.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that, I’m uh…used to it,” you trailed off at the end, unsure of why you were explaining that to him.
He also looked slightly uncomfortable at the fact. Or maybe it was because you bowed to him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. No reason to pick on innocent people.” With that he stalked off and your sudden interest in him ignited tenfold.
Ever since that day you and Minghao kept having small run-ins. Almost like fate was pulling you two together. Before you knew it you two were spending all your time together. You were easily captured by his outlook on the world. You’ve never met someone so fair and level headed as Minghao. You’ve learned so much from him.
You finally had a friend. He helped you discover who you really are, and he did everything in his power to protect you. Slowly your friendship developed into more until you found yourself with butterflies in your stomach every time he talked to you.
You remember the day he finally made the first move. You weren’t even sure that Minghao liked you like that until you were sitting in his dorm, helping him with his math homework, when he leaned over and kissed you. You swear your heart nearly jumped out of your chest. After that things were a little clunky, but you two figured it out. 
Dating Minghao opened up a whole new realm of possibilities. You feel strong with him. You feel like you can do anything. Maybe that’s why you put so much faith in him when he comes to you with his plan.
“Snowflake,” Minghao starts, his nickname for you still flustering you slightly, “I need you to trust me, okay?”
“Hao…what’s this about?” You two are sitting in his dorm room, sitting on his bed. He asked you earlier if you would meet him, as there was something important he needed to talk to you about.
There’s a grim look on Minghao’s face as he looks at you. He struggles with his words for a moment before finding what he wants to say. “You know I care about you a lot and that I would do anything to make you happy and protected.”
Minghao stops for a moment and you nod at him. He takes another deep breath.
“You and I, we don’t belong here. Nobody here will ever respect us or any of the other VKs, and something needs to be done about it. I want to do something about it.” There’s a fire in Minghao’s words as he talks. “Everything that I’ve seen and heard and experienced since I stepped foot in Auradon is bullshit and it was fine when it was just me, but they way they treat you as well? It’s unacceptable.”
“Hao,” you interject, “just tell me what you’re talking about. I promise, I trust you more than anyone else.”
Minghao reaches forward and grabs your hands in his. He squeezes tight. “They need to be taught a lesson. Nothing will change if we don’t make the change.” You squeeze his hands back, encouraging him to continue. “I’ve been talking with some of the other VKs…we’re thinking about overthrowing the crown.” You suck in a breath. “I know it’s a lot and that it’s a risk but-”
You cut Minghao off, letting go of his hands to cup his face. You lean in and kiss him gently. When you pull away you rest your forehead against his. “I trust you Hao, and I will stand by you through anything. If this is the path you decide to take, I’m right here with you.”
“Are you sure? Your parents and-”
“No one has ever treated me the way you do. You’re the best thing to happen to me, Minghao.”
“I love you,” Minghao whispers, just loud enough to hear. Your heart does a skip.
“I love you too,” you tell him back, the first time either of you have said it. “I believe what you’re doing is what has to be done.”
You think of every wrongdoing of the citizens of Auradon, about how unfair they have been all these years. You think about the new world you can make. You know this is the right choice.
Minghao wants you to stay out of the planning process, as to not incriminate you in case anything happens. That unfortunately leaves you with quite a bit of free time on your hands. You’re walking back to your dorm from the library when you’re suddenly stopped by someone grabbing you. You yelp in surprise as you’re whipped around to come face to face with your brother. 
Joshua grips onto your arm tightly and you try to break free but he just holds on tighter. If you’re being honest you’re shocked he’s even interacting with you, as he gave up on that years ago.
“I don’t know what you’re doing, but you need to stop,” Joshua hisses. 
“Joshua, let me go!”
“I know you’re up to something with the son of the Evil Queen. Do you know what Mom and Dad would think if they found out? If you keep it up you’re going to get in trouble, either with him, or them.”
“You’re hurting me!”
“Well maybe you should listen.”
“She said let go.” Joshua’s grip loosens slightly at the intrusion and you’re able to break free. 
You and your brother both look to the side to see Minghao standing there. Though Joshua and Minghao are the same height, it seems like Minghao looms over him. There’s a dark look on his face as he glares daggers into your brother. Relief washes over you at the sight of your boyfriend coming to your rescue.
“You,” Joshua hisses. “Stay away from my little sister.”
“No, I think you should stay away.” Minghao steps forward, subtly putting his body between yours and Joshua’s. 
“I don’t know who you think you are, but I know that you’re no good. If you hurt her I swear I’ll-”
“It seems like you’re the only one here who’s hurt her.” Minghao gestures to where you’re rubbing your arm from where Joshua gripped you too tight. “You’re selfish and pathetic. You don’t really care about her and you never have, don’t try to act all high and mighty now.”
“Just wait, you’re going to get it,” Joshua growls before stalking off.
Minghao doesn’t bother responding, instead he turns towards you. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything.”
“Hurry up with the plans, okay?” You stare up and Minghao and he just nods, ready to set the world on fire for you if he has to.
“Are you scared?” You ask Minghao as you two lay in your bed one night. Your roommate is visiting her parents and you take the opportunity to spend the night with your boyfriend without having to worry about Jun on the other side of the room.
“Petrified,” Minghao whispers. “But you can’t tell anyone.”
“I promise,” you giggle, pressing a soft peck to his cheek.
“I’m scared, but then I think about you and why I’m doing this to begin with, and I know everything will work out.”
“Everyone says you’re so scary,” you tell him, “but I think you’re just a giant sap.”
“Only for you, Snowflake.”
“I really hope this works,” you whisper, changing the tone of the conversation.
“It will. I’ll make sure of it, even if it’s the last thing I do.”
“It won’t be. We’re going to change the world and then you and I will be able to live in peace.”
“We’ll have our happily ever after?” There's a teasing grin on Minghao’s face and you roll your eyes playfully.
“Yes. We will.” Minghao just giggles and leans in to kiss you. You kiss him back, putting all of your unsaid words behind it. 
Minghao has changed your life, and you could never repay him for what he’s done for you, what he’s going to do for you. You know you don’t have to pay him back though, because loving him is enough. You don’t want to think about what your life would have become if Minghao didn’t come to Auradon. When you were little your parents told you about fate and how the right people will always come into your life. Laying here with Minghao, you think they may have gotten at least one thing right.
“Are you ready?” Minghao asks as he reaches down to hold your hand tight. You nod and squeeze his hand back.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
The two of you stand outside of the Museum of Cultural History, about to enact your plan to change the rest of your lives.
“You’ll be able to go back after this,” Minghao tells you. You look up at him and smile.
“Good.”
Around you stands the other VKs, and for some reason the son of Hercules, Mingyu (you’ll have plenty of time to question that later). The sight warms your heart. You don’t think you’ve ever felt more safe with a group of people before. A few months ago you never had friends, and now here you are, ready to change the world with a group of villain kids. Your parents would have a heart attack if they could see you now.
“Whatever happens,” Minghao tells you, “I love you.”
You pull him down for a final kiss before you enter the museum. “I love you too.”
You take a moment to just stare at him. His soft blue hair falling over his eyes as he’s wrapped up in his jacket. He looks just like he did the first day you met him, yet everything has changed so much. You smile when you think about how you wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
No one has ever loved you as much as Minghao has. Not your parents or your brother or anyone else. Minghao is willing to risk everything, just make you happy. You will always be his number one priority. The thought makes your heart swell, and you know there will never be someone who means as much to as you as Minghao does.
“Okay,” you tell him, “let’s do this.”
Minghao nods and signals to the others and just like that you’re all in action. Your heart beats hard in your chest as you follow behind Minghao, ready for him to lead you to whatever good thing is next to come.
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futurewriter2000 · 5 months
Text
Second Chance
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A/N: I don't know how this can end in a happy ending but... I'll try. I didn't even know how to start writing this request but I think I did fairly well and even better than I expected. I think I can do it better though but for now, I'll give you this. Short-ish and sweet. I tried to put everything into one fic.
REQUEST #14 (wattpad) @fredsdeath: HI!! I love all ur books especially the fred weasley book and uhm i was wondering if you could do my request abt how y/n pretends to have amnesia and not remember fred bc fred was her ex and broke her heart in their past relationship like happy emding or not its fine and this is just a suggestion its still okay if you dont do it tho :D
XX
They say that the first few months always feel like a true honeymoon and then the reality hits but it wasn't like that with you and Fred. It was different because the two of you were friends first before anything and that changed everything. You knew who he was, the good and the bad, as well as he did. The two of you had this undestructable bond, nothing in the world could break. It felt real, it felt true, it felt like a once in a life-time love and you believed that.
You did... until you didn't anymore.
There were moments of Fred acting ditant. Sometimes when you looked into his eyes, he wasn't there and when he smiled, it felt forced. You felt like you were too much for him so you took a step back as well, thinking that space was all that he needed. You were different than him however, you didn't want space, you needed reassurence that he is still the Fred that will hold your hands and kiss them randomly when the two of you are laughing or just sitting together. You believed that the Fred that walked down the hall, nagging you jokingly until you retorded a sarcastic comment back, pretending to be furious with him until he nagged you until you laughed- was still somehow there. You believed that the Fred who made your stomach cramp either from laughter or butterflies will appear soon. It's just a hard transitioning moment, now that the new headmistress is on. He's coming back... he's still Fred.
He wasn't though.
"What do you mean?" your eyes twitched and you couldn't figure out whether you were angry or sad. You kept looking at the ground, not knowing when your hands ripped themselves from his.
"It's not you, I swear, it's just-"
"It's you." you looked at him, your lip trembling but you refused to cry in front of him.
"It is..." he bit his lower lip. "I just don't think that this is it." he said and you refused to look at him. He forced a smile and swayed on his feet. "We can still be friends." he said, touching your shoulder playfully as if all of a sudden you will place a smile on your face, bright and jolly but you turned your head away, wiped the crocodile tear that fell from your eyes and looked at him.
"Who is she?" you said with a sharp cold tone.
"There isn't-"
"You never lied to me, Fred. Don't start now." you glared.
He looked at you and pursed his lips together. He looked away and you let out a laugh from disbelief.
"I had a feeling but I always refused to listen to it. You know why?" you paused. "Because my trust for you was bigger than my insecurities but you just made me believe I was going crazy for such a long time until you grew balls to tell me."
"I just kissed her once-"
"Oh-" you literally heard your heart break inside your chest.
"She KISSED ME-" he mumbled. "I swear, I didn't kiss her first, she just sort of leaned in and I pulled away and I didn't want to say anything, I swear because I thought it was nothing but she just sort of... I don't know... I couldn't stop thinking about it."
"So you want to slag around."
"NO!" he started to get frustrated, shaking his head. "I just- I'm lost right now. I don't know what I want."
"You want her."
"No-" he shook his head. "I don't know... maybe... I don't know."
"Fuck you." you said, slapping him hard on his cheek that it turned red immediatelly. "You just wasted fucking 8 months of my life." and with that you turned around.
----
It's been a long year now since then and you knew her name... not that you truly wanted it but you heard of a short fling between Fred and Angelina Jonson. She was another good friend of his and you wished you figured it out sooner but you haven't.
You've cried. You did. More than just one crocodile tear. You've made a mess from your room and your roommates didn't really mind. They've been patient and graceful with you. They've also been a good distraction from your emotions and you were glad you weren't when Fred made his great parting with fireworks in Hogwarts that year.
You've put yourself together since then. You did and you've heard he's been with that woman, another woman, a few other women and you didn't want to hear none of it. Your friends kept telling you about it, despite you didn't want to. You heard about his shop and all of other things.
Now... well, now you've had your own appartment, which was quite hard with the economy but you wanted your place since you were an early teen. And to think of it, getting an appartment was easier than getting a job that pays well on your education. But it did. You've worked in a small bussiness, grammar checking documents that came in and out. Something close to an accounting. It wasn't what you wanted but it was something.
You haven't seen Fred in a year and a half. He was still on your mind though. He was. It was as if he put a chip into you that keeps rewinding time back to when the two of you were in love.
What you hated more was that you did move on but somehow he was still following you everywhere you went. You didn't see him anywhere and you knew that was a good sign but you were always on the lookout. Close to his shop, you felt anxious and you thought it over what would happen if he came out now and see you. You didn't know. You didn't know anything. Your brain turned off like nothing.
But that never happened and so you were okay with moving on.
---
So how did you end up here?
How did he end up here?
The last thing you told him was that he should have fun with your replacement and he did... for a short time. It really infuriated him that you told him that but Angelina really wasn't the one either. He pushed it as far as he could but something didn't click with her. He didn't feel joy with her, he felt obligated to be with her but he grew tired of being with someone.
He told you he forgets people easily but why did seeing you hurt so much. It was like a sting into his heart- quick but short. He couldn't mumble a word when you stood there and there was no shine in your eyes, no glow on you as he remembered you. There was a smile but not as joyful.
You stood there... still beautiful.
He hated that. He hated that you were still beautiful- more than him... since always.
He turned his head away, not wanting to look at you anymore. He was furious- so darn furious. Why didn't anybody tell him about you?
"There she is!" Remus came over with his hands on your shoulders, gently and formally.
You smiled brightly at him because you adored him as a professor. He was the only professor who made a course feel important and interesting.
"She was my best student and she now works in a small company for accounting- a shame to waste your talents there."
Sirius, he stood up tall and mighty, almost king-like and you felt infatuated by his kingly presence. His eyes were cold blue but his look was warm and safe.
"Aren't you supposed to be in Azkaban or something?" you joked and he laughed.
"Been there, didn't like it much." he retorded back and a few of the group laugh. "She's been working for me too for a bit. Remus recommended her- just for a short time and she turned out to be trustworthy. I bet she went to Hogwarts with you."
Ginny ran to you into a hug immediately and smiled up to you... well not up anymore. She seemed taller than you by a few centimeters. The two of you always had a great friendship, despite Fred. She adored you and you adored her.
"I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed and you laughed, hugging her tightly.
"Me neither. This man put me through hell."
"I did not." Sirius gasped.
"Don't leave him alone in this house for long ever again."
"We have so much to catch up!"
And you did. With the whole group. You did work with Sirius through Remus. You've never really met him personally, always through some Howlers, letters, some other secret forms of communication and he was always so arrogant through it. He had grumpy and sassy remarks and at first you were professional about it but through time you've had enough and returned the energy. It has mostly been with the documents you've been grammarly correcting. They had been reciepts from big, luxiourious wizard families and you could see in some of those reciepts which were on the bad side, which on the good and which were fleeding and unreliable.
You didn't know about the other participants except Remus, Tonks and Sirius. Soon you figured Moody was one as well when he trampled into your office, asking questions and now you've met others.
You've never been much of a leap of faith person but you've always had a strong urge to stand for fairness and justice. You've fired up when you had to, not knowing until you went to bed that night. Remus saw that in you and he knew that all you needed was a little push.
You've always been reliable and when you promised something, you didn't back out, even if you were extremely anxious. He knew you could never back out from this. A bit manipulating but well, that was the push.
You've looked at Moody with your mouth on the ground.
"Turn into Harry?" you looked at all the others, especially at Remus.
"You don't have to, if you don't want to." said Harry.
"No, it's not that." you laughed. "Couldn't we just turn Harry into some random Muggle and transport him?"
The others thought about it as it could be.
"No!" Moody shouted. "Would you think they'd just let some random Muggle with a stick in his boot let into the Ministry?" he growled at you, approaching you. "No- now dress up lil priss." and he shoved clothes at you.
You looked after him than walked to Harry. "Are you comfortable with this? Us... turning into you?"
He gave you a comforting smile. "Not really but a plan is a plan. My comfort is not really in question." he offered you a smile and you returned it, though you felt a bit sad for the boy, espeicially when others made awful comments about them.
What you didn't notice was the little peeps Fred was giving you when you undressed, easily unclasping your bra under your Harry shirt and throwing it in the corner.
George apperead in front of him as Harry, giving him a grin meanwhile Fred just put his glassess on and pretended not to look.
"You're with me little priss." one of the Harry's told you and winked at you.
As you walked behind fake Harry, you passed what you thought was Fred and he called out your name. "Hey, (Y/n)."
You turned around. "What?"
"Stay safe."
You looked at him and nodded, turning back to the fake Harry, feeling your heart beating fast. Not because of Fred... this was pure fear.
---
Fred just turned back into himself, laughing with his father about the trip when Ginny told him about George. He was running into the living room, finding his best friend bloody on the couch.
"Shit, George." he came to his side.
"I'm howy." George whispered.
"What George?" Fred leaned in worriedly.
"I said..." George took a breath. "I'm holy now Fred."
Fred rolled his eyes and laughed from all the relief. "Only you can crack a joke about a blown up ear."
He looked up, smiling joyfully when the others smiled back, hugging him and George. It wasn't until two were missing. He looked around again. "Where are Tonks and (y/n)?" he asked but the others looked around and nobody was around.
"Remus is waiting for them, I'll go out and check." said Arthur but just as he was about to head out the door, Remus came rushing the door with you in his arms. His shirt was soaked in your blood, Tonks' hands as well.
"MOVE!" shouted Remus as Arthur cleared the table so that Remus could place you there gently.
"It came out of nowhere- I don't know who is was but she was blown off our broom and fell hard on the woods. She hit her head pretty hard." Tonks spoke quickly, like your life depended on it.
Ginny and Molly were right by your side, Remus as well. Fred just watched with his eyes wide open. Everything was gone, all the anger, all of it, out of his system. There was no room for anger, only regret and sadness.
"(y/n)- come on little priss, you have to wake up." Remus slapped your cheeks gently.
It was so sudden. You laid there calmly and like you were awaken from the dead, you jumped up and took a deep breath in.
"Where am I?!" you looked around, feeling your head pounding but everything was extremely bloody.
You heard voices around you but none of them were clear.
"You're safe-" you looked around but you recognised that voice anywhere.
"Professor Lupin? Where's Madam Pince my head is-" you were just about to say something when you started choking on your own blood.
Fred fell on the floor, just by George when he saw the sight.
Arthur saw the terror in Fred's eyes and shouted at the other. "GET HIM OUT OF HERE! ALL OF YOU OUT!"
---
Fred had a whole review of your life together back in Hogwarts. Everything turned back- everything. The small things, the big things and he realised that not once did the two of you had a bad memory together. Not one but until he broke things off.
He was pacing up and down outside the living room. Ginny kept trying to calm him down but he was not consolable. Not until you were completely alright. Not until he comes back and you're breathing and smiling at him.
Finally Arthur came to Fred, only to Fred because he knew of their past together. His expression was grim but it wasn't something Fred could read at the moment. He had you in perfect image. Since always.
"How is she?!" he quickly asked and everybody stood up and listened as well.
"She's living and breathing." he said, putting his hand on Fred's shoulder. "Remus is great at taking care of people, so she's resting with George... however... she kept recalling back a few years..." he looked up worriedly. "She kept asking for Dumbledore and... McGonagall..." he continued. "Remus says it could be shock or some short amnesia."
"What does that mean, dad?" Fred asked but his father only looked away. "Dad!"
"I don't know really... only time will tell when she wakes up."
Fred burst through the door and found his two favorite people laying on the couch. It was odd sight becuase you were there moving your lips and looking at your roommate, fist bumping him.
"Samesiess." George shouted weakley. "I've always wanted a girl roommate."
"Ew." you said, laughing.
"Not like that- Merlin." George said. "If moving my eyes wouldn't hurt I'd roll my eyes right now."
"If I could have the strenght to move my hands I'd show you the middle finger."you replied and could hear him laugh, caughing.
Fred smiled from relief and walked confidently into the room. "Hey, you two are on bed rest, stop talking and laughing." he said, sitting at George's side first. He looked at you and you looked at him.
"George?" you said worriedly. "I didn't know you had a sibling?"
"I have eight of them... or seven... six... I really don't know..."
"I didn't know you had one that looks exactly like you." you furrowed your eyebrows and it was only for a joke. You've always wanted to play a joke but something in Fred's eyes.
Something in his eyes made him come towards you and look at you with the same look he did all those years. The same eyes that you prayed for such a long time ago.
"You don't remember me?" he asked.
And you haven't got any clue why you turned your head and mumbled no. You turned it away from him because you felt something hurt inside of you so much by having him looking at you so close. Your heart was tearing up inside of you all over again and you wished, you prayed, you said you never met him because that was what you truly wanted. You wanted that he never existed in your brain because it just... hurts so much.
"Please leave me alone." you said and kept shutting your eyes.
Fred backed away, terror in his eyes, his heart, rage? Perhaps shock- something was in his chest, burning up his throat. He didn't hear the pain in your throat or the tears that fell from your eyes when you turned away. He couldn't function properly.
"Fred..." he heard George but he just stormed outside.
It was as if something was spinning in his head. It was so horrible.
Ginny came after him, calling out his name, asking what is wrong.
"WHAT'S WRONG?!" he turned around, a big forced smile of disbelief, almost wicked-like. "I ALMOST LOST TWO PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME! BESIDES THAT ONE LOST AN EAR, THE OTHER LOST A BLOODY MEMORY OF ME- OF OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP!!!"
Ginny stood there. Usually she would shout something back but she just let him yell.
"Ginny- she-" he started to break down, falling onto his knees and pulling his long legs into a hug.
Ginny walked to his side and hugged him around the shoulders. "It could be temporary... she's just in a shock."
"She remembers George."
"How do you know? She just talked to him like she woud with another person."
"She wouldn't talk to me like this..."
"She would." Ginny added and Fred looked at her, letting a laugh.
"Yeah... she would... she was unpredicatable like that." he said.
"Why did the two of you even break up?"
"I don't know really." Fred mumbled. "But I don't know if I can live through her not remembering us... you know?" he looked at Ginny, then laid his head on her shoulder. "We used to have so much fun... when we were together. She was so snarky and confident..."
"She's always so happy and has such a good heart." Ginny added.
"Yeah... she was perfect and... I really didn't know we would work so well together but I don't know... I thought she would be a fling and I wasn't ready to commit- she just... she deserved so much better than me, I always knew that."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... look at her and look at me." he lookd at Ginny.
"Fred, she looked at you as if you were the whole world for her, not because of your looks or it was because of your looks, I doubt that though but she didn't want anybody else. She wanted you." Ginny said and Fred looked at her.
"I don't know Ginny."
"You do know, Fred. You were the one who thought you didn't deserve her and with the way you were acting after the two of you broke up, just told me how much she hurt you." she continued without any filter. "And it wasn't that she hurt you... it was that you were furious that you fucked up a good thing."
Fred looked at his sister with a confused look. She didn't use that kind of language. "I don't know when you grew up so much, Ginny." he said and laid his head back on her shoulder. "But... if she forgot about us... and me... I don't know- she was the only person who really knew me and it was hard for her to trust me in the first place. When she did, it felt like I met the right person to feel safe with..."
"Like I said... we can hope that she does remember."
---
You and George were laying in the darkness, both resting. You were glad the whole thing was over, even though you almost couldn't have made it out alive.
"Do you really not remember Fred?" asked George.
There was silence but you looked to the darkness beside you where George was speaking from. "I wish I didn't." you said.
"Why did you tell him then you didn't?" he asked calmly.
You turned your head back to the dark ceiling. "I just... I actually don't know... it was a joke at first..."
"I gathered that but he just saw two of people he cared about almost die in front of his eyes so I believe him for not catching it."
"Then he just looked at me with those eyes... like that he cares and I just... I don't know I wanted to make sure if he does or not so I just said no."
There was a small laugh from the other side. "Did you get your answer?"
"Kind of." you shrugged.
"(y/N)." he said in a serious tone. "He bloody loved you. You didn't know how he was when you weren't around. First he was furious, then he was frustrated when you didn't catch our fireworks, then he was melancholic for a while and all of a sudden he got an urge to go after every girl that walked into the shop- age appropriate to be clear." he stopped for a moment. "He cared, he really did- he didn't know how much he had lost until months later. Angelina couldn't compare to you. He wasn't as ambitious and happy as he was with you. He was absent and lost..."
There was a loud silence after that and you felt as if you have to say something in return. "I didn't know you could preform such long speeches."
You heard shuffling on the other side and suddenly something soft landed on your stomach. "Owww!"
"Shut up, we're both poor right now." he said and you laughed , throwing the pillow back.
---
George was awake and walking. He was just getting suited for the wedding when Fred was tying his bowtie. He walked into the living room and saw your space empty. He looked around and tried to find any traces of your disappearance.
It wasn't until he heard a grunt from the bathroom and you walked out, pinning something into your hair. "Hey Ginny this bandage is so unnecessary-" you looked up and he was staring at you as you stared back. His hands were at the untied bowtie and yours were stucking a flower somewhere where your bandage was loose around your head.
"You remember Ginny?" he asked and you kept looking at him.
You let your hands fall down to your side and you took a few steps forward. "I do." you said and grabbed his tie and started to throw it around into a bowtie.
"Do you remember me?" he asked softly as he looked down at you but you kept your eyes on his bowtie.
You were silent for a while and started to twist it around to stay on its place. "I can do it better." you said and untied it again.
He smiled at that. "A perfectionist, you remember that." he said and he could see a smile on your lips. "Please, (y/n)..." he said and placed his hands on top of yours.
You finally looked up and found his eyes in such pain. You didn't think eyes so joyful could look that tormented. "I remember you Fred." you smiled softly, then looked back at the bowtie. "Just like I remember how to tie a perfect bowtie." you smiled and fixed it on his collar.
He breathed out a long breath of relief. He saw your hands leave his bowtie and he immedately started to fix your bandage and hair flower. "You're beautiful today." he said as he continued to tuck in the last peaces of the bandage before going to the flower. "You're beautiful every day."
You continued to look up, his slick and gentle hands touching your scalp and spreading warmth, even the memories you forgot existed. "I'm sorry." you said and he raised an eyebrow. "I always knew who you were..." you said and his hands dropped, still holding the flower that was supposed to go into your hair.
"You did?"
"I did." you said. "You were so close and you were just- and it really hurt- you really hurt me." you said, looking into his eyes, knowing yours were filling themselves with tears. "It was the first time I saw you so close after such a long time and everything came back- and it hurt so much I wished to forget you." you said, avoiding his gaze.
He didn't say anything. To be honest, he wasn't furious or in shock. "You could have done worse, really..." he gave an awkward smile and you laughed. He put his hand back up to your head and started placing it into your hair.
You only observed and as you did so, his hand fell to your cheek and brushed it with his thumb. The two of you were looking at each other, felt like a whole century since the two of you were looking at each other like this... and it felt like yesterday.
Time truly is an illusion, isn't it.
"Please, give me a second chance." he said, leaning his forehead onto yours.
"Fred..." you sighed.
"I know it's a lot to ask but please- I promise, I won't run away again like I did last time." he said, pulling back and cupping your cheeks. "We're special. I know you know... I know we are... please..."
You smiled, closing your eyes and feeling all this warmth, safety and love over your body.
Hope.
There's nothing wrong with having hope.
There's nothing wrong with second chances.
You looked up at him. "Second chance then."
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