#kerblam man? but not yaz?

[oreo102]

13’s era only have 3-4 funko pops (that I can find proof of) and not one of them being yaz should be a crime. Fucking kerblam man but the the Basically Second Main Character? Bullshit

[brokenhardies]

tbh as a six fan i feel so bad for thirteen fans

bc there are a lot of thirteen fans who are willing to defend shitty writing and poor decisions bc thirteen's their favourite doctor and there's no other way to say she's their favourite bc thirteen has only been off the air for 2 years at this point. thirteen also has the bonus problem of being the first female doctor which means a lot of her criticism is clouded by misogyny and other icky incel alt right shit

meanwhile with six, a lot of his problems had the benefit of the wilderness years, big finish, the expanded universe, and even people looking back at his doctor and realising that there was some good in his episodes. a lot of his fans didnt become his fans until recently and even most of his haters are quite clear that they hate the writing decisions and not the actor himself

like until jodie gets some good material - maybe big finish? theyre doing fugitive doctor and dhawan master stuff that might improve the problems with those - a lot of thirteen fans are going to be clutching at straws and trying to figure out why they like her and how to say so in a way that won't upset the predominantly male fandom, as well as won't disagree with common and very bloody obvious criticisms of chibnalls era

[kendrixtermina]

Boom

Ok, this one FUCKS right out of the gate.

Seems like we’ll be talking about the evils of the Military Industrial Complex, currently all over the news. Im here for it.

There’s a lot of worldbuilding packed in the opening sequence conveyed through the characters’ interactions.

I like how they take a moment to have Ruby be stunned at the sky even after she’s been travelling with the Doctor for a while. (*war flashback of Yaz & Ryan just going ‚alien planet man‘ & moving on.*) That’s how you make phantastic things land, you show ppl reacting.

& the Doctor needs a while to realize that it would be stunning to her cause he’s pretty used to this but then rattles off facts about the planet. Like… this is what characters who aren’t plank of woods is like.

Wow, Ruby is a very for realsies ride or die real one, isn’t she?

Like, you see why the song she picked in the last episode was the one she wrote for supporting her friend.

That’s quite the knife twist to have the little girl show up at this point, though i wonder how she left the camp undedected.

Very like the doctor to think of asking how the mine works when cornered

Ah, that’s a neat callback, remember back in series 1 how in ‚Dalek‘ it was said that time travellers carry around atron energy?

Or, another anglican Marine episode, big soace time event can plug the time crack?

Only in this case it’s a downside.

Turns out the mine explodes harder for time travellers and the guy who happened to step on it has probably travelled in time more than anyone else in that universe.

Ruby continues to be a quick thinker with the distractions.

OH FRICK

...well. Took no more notes until the end of the episode, which speaks for it, even though I found the whole romantic subplot between the two soldiers a bit flat, unsubtle & cheesy, as is the thing with using the father’s AI duplicate to stop the machines, even if I get the message that was intended.

But I like the twist that they were fighting air &it was all due to the AI activating that the company had rigged in its favor, and the emphasis on puzzling things out.

& the recurring motif of the Doctor talking to the companion to ‚think out loud‘.

It’s interesting to have reached a point in history where rather than getting, like, skynet or something speculative, the evil AI here is is based on the way that it’s actually used by greedy companies IRL in reckless ways.

(This is how you actually do the aesop of ‚its not technology that‘s evil but how ppl use it’, rather than whatever kerblam was supposed to be.)

You gotta commend them for how relatively small stakes the episode is and how much of it is just juicy character drama (the moment with ruby telling the computer to tell her about her "next of kin" in desperation was quite emotional), how it’s almost all in one location, & like… since the Doctor’s thing is talking his way out of situations, it’s an interesting experiment to have an episode where he’s stuck in one place & has to try & solve the plot by talking.

[superwholockednico]

First time watching the 13th doctor Thoughts

First off, this is my first time getting 'not my doctor' syndrome. I think this may be because all the other doctors were already doctors when I started watching Doctor Who.

(While all of capaldi's seasons weren't out then, I was aware going into the fandom that he was one of the doctors. I also watched all the seasons near consecutively during summer break, so I never had time to be like. Noo I want to watch the last doctor. Because I just wanted to watch more doctor who.)

But this time it was different. I was looking at a lady I knew as an actor (from Chibnall's other work, Broadchurch (my beloved!)) and from her cover of Yellow, of all things.

Perhaps more importantly, I came in knowing many people didn't like her seasons. Which is weird.

Like, it is a weird experience going into a show you love being like. Ok so is it as bad as people say.

I have experience in this. I watched supernatural. (of course) And I was a bit behind on the show, always a handful of seasons behind, so I knew I was heading nowhere good. But with supernatural, you never know when it gets bad (expect the last episode. I know that one is ass). The best episodes are in the worst seasons and the worst seasons sometimes have the best ideas and its a mess. But people (on twitter, especially) gave me this idea that 13's seasons were all worse quality.

It really wasn't.

Now I'm only on season 1, and the timeless child arch is still to come, which I fear as I don't like the concept from what I've heard (i really like the idea of the doctor as just some person fumbling around, hence why I like 12 better than 11). But for now. It's a pretty good show.

The episodes feel very rewatchable to me.

Compared to the much more interconnected stories going on in 11 and 12's run, every episode of season 11 could be watched alone with little explanation. Not that that is better or worse, but it means I can def go back and pick a random episode to rewatch whenever I need.

And It is fun!

Almost every episode in this season was super fun! Obviously they had some more emotionally charged ones ('demons of punjab', 'the battle of ranskoor av kolos' (the finale), and maybe a bit of 'It Take You Away') but overall there were a lot of really fun moments and sites and it was somewhat whimsical at times but not in the same way as 11. The peak example being Kerblam!

The characters were also what made it so fun.

They're a jolly little crew of fellas traveling through space togather. No one feels like the 'main character' (ok Ryan sort of does. Because he started off the show you know, Rose style?). So far, it is Yasmin who feels like the tack on.

Which is funny because the only companion I've heard about at length is Yaz and how great she is and so far I am like, oh yeah, she had a few episodes (Arachnids in the UK and Demons of Punjab). Like I don't really care about her yet. I don't feel connected with her.

You know who I do feel connected/invested in. MY OLD MAN. GRAHAM CRACKER. (not cus he's white, it's a brand guys). i love this old man. I feel for him. I wanted his revenge when he wanted his revenge. I was so happy for him when he was happy that Ryan called him gramps (or whatever he called him). Like I was literally giggling cus he was happy over it and that made me happy cus I was emotionally invested in him!

I liked the idea of Graham before I watched this season actually, due to a reddit post where someone was like, best crossover would be three old men (the 12th doctor and graham and wilf) running around for an episode. And I was like, omg that is an amazing idea.

Okay I need a whole post for the Fam and how I actually love having a little crew in the tardis. Next post it is.

[adventure-showdown]

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

The Ghost Monument

Synopsis

Stranded on an alien planet infamously called Desolation, can the Doctor find her way to the TARDIS as she promised her new friends? Will her newest company be of any help when they're also racing against each other? And what exactly is "the Ghost Monument"?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Arachnids in the UK

Synopsis

The Thirteenth Doctor finally manages to bring her friends home, but with more time alone on the horizon, she soon discovers that something unnatural has happened to the eight-legged population of Sheffield. Why have they converged on an unopened hotel, and why is there a man going around like he owns the place?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Kerblam!

Synopsis

When the Thirteenth Doctor receives a mysterious call for help packaged with a delivery from Kerb!am, the galaxy's largest retailer, she and her friends get to work in finding out the cause of the distress. However, is the human 10% of the workforce rebelling against the robots, or is there a much more complicated plot going on? She later finds out the system types all the slips, including the one she got. Why is the system needing help?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Orphan 55

Synopsis

After Graham O'Brien wins Team TARDIS a free holiday at the high-end alien resort Tranquility Spa, it becomes clear that not everything is as it seems — why is the staff so worried about oxygen levels in the Spa when the planet appears to be hospitable to humans? What are the monsters stalking the corridors? And why does the planet on which they're all standing bear the ominous name of "Orphan 55"?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Ascension of the Cybermen/The Timeless Children

Synopsis

In a galaxy still dealing with the aftermath of the deadly Cyber-Wars, the Thirteenth Doctor and her companions are separated both from each other and from the TARDIS. Banding together with the last dredges of humanity, they must all attempt to find Ko Sharmus and the Boundary before Ashad, or any other remaining Cyberman forces, can locate them. And who is Brendan, the abandoned baby?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Revolution of the Daleks

Synopsis

As the Thirteenth Doctor marks her days in prison, back on Earth the Daleks are presented on national television. They are the new Defence Drones, designed to protect the British public.

Left behind on Earth, Yaz, Graham and Ryan need their friend more than ever. Now with Daleks on the assembly line, and a familiar face behind their production... What would the Doctor do?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Once, Upon Time

Synopsis

Atropos has fallen, once again. The Doctor has thrown herself into a time storm in a desperate bid to save her friends. As Time itself comes apart, she finds much more than she bargained for.

All four are lost, together, in memories: past, present, future. So many roles they play. So many choices they have endured. And now, what happened once has come again.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Survivors of the Flux

Synopsis

For Yaz, Dan, and Jericho, life in the early 20th century is holding more adventure and danger than they could have ever imagined. For Bel, her mission to find her husband has taken a drastic wrong turn. For Vinder, the wrath of the Ravagers awaits. For the Grand Serpent, UNIT is his for the taking. And for the Doctor, nothing may ever be the same again...

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Vanquishers

Synopsis

Split across three realities, the Thirteenth Doctor has more than one problem to solve. The Division's base, way out in the Void, has been taken. Some unlikely allies have joined together, hoping to find victory in Earth's final hour. The Grand Serpent has been making plans, and the Doctor's oldest enemies hold the key to the Doctor's past, poised on handing her their final retribution.

Tunnels beneath the Earth lead to all kinds of places in space and time. As the final Flux event approaches, which door leads to victory? Last call before the end. It's time for contact.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

2, 14, 23, 25? <3

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

oh honestly im mostly looking forward to being done with writing rn hfjhjg ive been doing nothing but thasmissy for 2 months straight at this point and i need to finish like 2 more scenes. so i suppose the technobabble im doing in one of those scenes bc it's really fun to find words to put in it. even though it takes forever. and then i wanna take a little break. ive still got a series of like weird sex fics somewhere on the backburner i might go do that (it's like, 13/tardis, yaz getting off to gallifreyan anatomy textbooks, yaz with the hologram in 13x5, and another one i cant remember rn, oh yeah something with the robot master and shalka doctor, but i cant write them so idk. i think it would be fun to write robot sex though)

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

either when i hit post and ao3 tells me i forgot the title (bad titles). or else it just ✨Comes To Me✨ at some point during writing (better titles). not the question but these are my favourite titles: kerblam it!, wondering about the perspective of the person who confuses interbellum with no man’s land, auto-tromperie à deux, or: the double-slit experiment, and the thasmissy one which will be called playing doctor <3

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

s12 fic where yaz gets basically seduced by the master because the master is willing to give her answers the doctor wont. she finds the doctor's phone and they start texting. they both find something in each other that the doctor is unable to give them. the doctor when she finds out is So Mad. shes like hes dangerous!!!!1! but theres this possessive undertone you know? ive had scenes of that on my computer since like summer 2020. it's never gonna get finished but thats okay because i think most of what i thought was interesting about that fic i incorporated into thasmissy in some way. also i think it ended by yaz getting killed by a cyberman and the doctor beating the master to death for it so fkjghjkghgfjh too sad to finish tbh. it wasnt even the master's fault it was both their faults she was angry at herself so she killed him. and then sat with him until he regenerated. while yaz i think, stood there as a cyberman. anyway! fucked up! not my style

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

when im writing some weird gross visceral time stuff and looking in thesauruses and going on etymology dives and finding fun connections between words that i can use to make more subtext. and making up new ways to use words and sentences so i can make them hold more connections. increase the meaning/word ratio you know? thats the most fun

okay bonus found that fic. i had 2000 words. heres how it starts:

It starts with dying.

An endless dark. Without direction or sound or exit. Where air isn’t air and she doesn’t know how she’s still breathing. Where she can’t be alive because she can’t feel her heart beating.

“Okay, PC Khan. Nothing to worry about.”

It starts with dying.

It doesn’t end with it.

The Doctor pulls her out.

Its warm in australia. The heat crowds around her when she steps out of the glass cage, lapping at her hands, her face, curious, tentative, playful.

A Soft grip on her arms guides her to a chair, to reality, to being alive.

Someone presses a cup of tea into her hands. Large brown concerned eyes ask her if she's hurt.

She later learns his name is o. She later learns it isnt.

and this is how it ends:

His eyes switch to her as soon as he realises what this result of their actions is. Eyes big and hungry, apprehensive on the edges, mouth twitching but never reching a grin. Both stock still her eyes are still on the cyberman. One breath. Two breaths.

His eyes widen slightly when her attention shifts to him. Eyes dark and pushed too far like the chasm beyond the cliff. When she steps forward theres no delay in his step back.

Silence as the only witness of the last two children of gallifrey. The physical sounds of a body breaking and abody being broken.

Sound of breath and fists and one scream when she breaks his arm.

When she stumbles off of him, sitting where she lands, stopping moving further rather than sitting, silence still her only witness, he hasnt moved in a while, hasnt made a sound in a while. She watches until he starts glowing. Then she gets up and and without looking back walks away.

She finds the cyberman who was yasmin khan and says with a voice that is the oppoiste of what her hands just did, tender and regretful and soft, "yaz" because they were friends. And because no other words she will ever string together will be enough to make okay what she did to her. But the words press to her lips anyway. sorry doesnt change what she did. Sorry would be an insult.

"Your family will know"

Im sorry

"You wont be forgotten"

Im sorry

"You deserved better than you got"

Than i did to you. Im sorry

"Thank you yaz."

Im sorry

"Goodbye"

Im sorry

"And im sorry"

She zaps her sonic and the cyberman falls.

[minimoefoe]

Thirteen Era Rewatch: Kerblam!

I'm re-watching Thirteen's era in lead up to the Centenary and since this is likely going to be my last full re-watch for a while I thought I'd do a post on each ep where I just go over all the things I love, hate or just have some general thoughts on.

Seven eps in and Thirteen is still saying she isn’t used to the new systems lmao I feel like that’s a bit much. The systems aren’t really new anymore are they

Her excitement, she’s so cute I love her

Ryan instantly going to grab the bubble wrap. He’s actually me I stg

Do the whole gang REALLY need to make a comment??

Find it interesting how far into the series we are an how little the fam Really know about the Doctor. They all know about her hearts. Graham knows about regeneration, Ryan saw the glowing in 11.01. Yaz has been there for two explicit mentions of the Doctor previously being a man. Funny how they just kinda give weird looks but never push the Doctor to elaborate on any of it. Though I’m pretty sure Yaz mentions something about the Doctor never giving more info in Spyfall. So it’s possible they have asked and the 13 has kinda brushed them off

I stand by that the systems didn’t put 13 in the same job as Charlie specifically bc it wanted her to be near the problem, that was always gonna be the job 13 was best suited to anyway. If they wanted us to think the system purposely put 13 in a job with Charlie then they shoulda had Charlie doing a job that 13 wouldn’t have been best suited for. Made a post about it a while ago

13 being awkward, what a mood

I love when Ryan and 13 are left together as a duo. This ep, Arachnids, their chats in 11.01, 11.02 and RotD. I wish we got more of them

Not them making us feel bad for Kira (and Dan) and then killing them both off lmao

She knows from experience

Ppl crying about the conspiracy lines is dumb to me ngl. The contexts are different. In 11.04 she says she likes conspiracies after hearing about a conspiracy which at that point didn’t involve ppl being in danger, it was just some crap Yaz’s dad was collecting. And then in 1.07 she says she doesn’t like them after she hears about ppl going missing. Therefore, she likes harmless, fun conspiracies and doesn’t like conspiracies that involve ppl being in danger. It’s not that hard to grasp.

I love Ryan’s nervous rambling just before they go down the tunnel thing

I wrote a long ass post about the part of this ep ppl hate a while ago but in short, I think the main quote ppl don’t like was maybe worded badly (clearly, bc so many ppl take it really badly) but mostly ppl just overreact

This quote makes me insane actually. She is literally just talking about herself!! Thirteen’s plan was to keep her distance, but she’s the Doctor and falling in love is DEFO what happens with them

One thing about me is I love Yasmin Khan

I feel like this was maybe a somewhat big moment in 13’s feelings for Yaz growing tbh. Like just seeing how much Yaz cares for people.

[bogappreciation]

i rewatched the episode of doctor who where i got my pfp from and the rest of season 1 (mostly) and oh my god. oh my god they did her so dirty. readmore so people don’t have to listen to my EXTREMELY LONG rant about why I hate the new era because if you enjoy it please don’t let me stop you lmao

prefacing this with “I hope season 2 is better” but

I can’t believe the first female doctor has to deal with shitty chris chibnall writing including the most ooc, centrist takes and a middle aged white man taking all the good moments. why did they pick an ensemble cast if they don’t know how to write an ensemble cast.

doctor who has done it just fine before!! I mean, the end of season 1 had that lovely run of episodes with a triad two companions + one very good episode with 3 (boomtown!), and much of 11′s run had 2 companions, and they added River Song to the mix and pulled it off (I mean, debatably, but none of the characters were shafted), and hell even 12 and Bill and Nardole with bonus Missy was 3 companions done well. Or in 10′s run, the eps where all the companions met up. Or the episode with Rose & Sarah Jane & K-9, if you count K-9 as a companion.

But no they had to do it poorly for Jodie Whittaker. I’m sorry but after watching season 1, I couldn’t tell you what Ryan’s personality is besides “I’m only disabled when the writers remember me but I don’t let that stop me” and “I’m bad with kids.” Or what Yaz’s personality is besides “caring and not like other cops.” I don’t need to ask that question for Graham, because it feels more like his show than the Doctor’s.

It feels like all the focus is on Graham’s plotline, and on the monster of the week. I don’t care about Graham. And I don’t care about the monster of the week. I care about the Doctor, and interpersonal relationships between companions + the Doctor. I’m getting none of that. No little moments between the Doctor and anybody. I really, really want to like the companions- I’ve liked every other companion, to varying degrees- but I just don’t know 13′s companions.

And I could go into detail about why the Doctor is out of character.

And I will! I will go into detail!

Why did they make her centrist! Kerblam fucking sucked! So much for “Sleep no more” and “Oxygen” and all the other subtle and not-so-subtle critiques of capitalism. No, space Amazon is great and the systems aren’t an issue! Capitalism wins yet again!

Also, the episode Rosa was like, critically acclaimed, but it gives no agency to the character it’s about. They hold her damn hand like she’s a butterfly they can’t step on when time has rarely been that fragile. Shakespeare and Dickens were fine learning about all manner of extraterrestrial things, but Rosa Parks can’t know a racist from the future came to stop progress?

Can we talk about the Doctor going from punching a racist out of rage to barely reacting when people are racist as hell to two of her companions. And why the hell did she not just zap the future-racist into the future? I cannot see the Doctor in previous seasons just letting him do things??

And I’m sorry, I get that the Doctor is a pacifist, but seeing a giant spider suffocating to death and not wanting it to be mercy killed? After 11 almost lobotomizing a star whale, after 12 giving Clara the choice to kill the moon baby or Bill the choice to kill the thing in the thames? No.

It’s like Chibnall read the “rules” of the Doctor (no guns, etc.) and didn’t think about the reasons behind them. She doesn’t like guns because she’s a soldier with fucking PTSD you dingus, and she doesn’t want to become cruel or cowardly. Letting something die slowly is fucking cruel.

Outside of my hatred for their misunderstanding of her pacifism. Oh my god, sorry, but the gang’s reasoning for wanting to join up- Graham was like “I’m running from my grief” and she didn’t even question it. Why would she not give ANY pushback?? She knows grief, she knows how bad it is to bottle it up and not feel it. Why would she enable his unhealthy coping mechanisms when she’s clearly capable of recognizing them as unhealthy?

With Yaz & Ryan and Graham, I feel like each of their personal lives just gets a one-off episode instead of being continually references. Demons of the Punjab for Yaz, Resolution for Ryan. Every episode for Graham actually, he’s the only one in the whole series who gets the consideration of being a real character. I’m mad at him because of that.

My god I hope Doctor Who feels like Doctor Who again when RTD comes back

[jorrynoftheroundtable]

This reblog got long so I'm making my own post.

I'm so glad that Chibnall is gone. I'm super excited to see Ncuti (I apologize if I have the spelling wrong) as 15, and having Tennage back is always welcome. Jodie did pretty good with what she was given, it's just a shame she was given so little.

I watched the first few episodes of her run before turning it off. It was bland. Stuff kinda just happened, and it felt like it wasn't saying much beyond "racism bad!"

So I check in after a while and hear about stuff like Kerblam, or that scene where the doctor uses the Master's race against him. I didn't watch those episodes, so grain of salt, but it's still not a good look.

Next episodes I see are the Flux saga. Aside from the Weeping Angel episode, that saga failed everything it tried to do. It set up the Crystal Hoes to be very cool villains, and then explained nothing. Oh, now the Division are the villains! No, wait, it's the Crystal Hoes again. Also, Time Itself is a villain to be explored! I hope that comes up sometime soon!

And this is very representative of what I saw in Power of the Doctor. So much of the writing was ideas that sound cool, that I'm genuinely interested in, being sidelined immediately. The Doctor refusing to explain anything to her companions sounds interesting as a dynamic for her and Yaz, and the idea of a doctor who's closed off could be an incredible storyline. But instead of that, the Doctor's last act towards Yaz is to ask her to fuck off. And Yaz just accepts that?

I'm not a Thasmin shipper, but I do think that if you're going to do it, you need to commit. Unfortunately, Chibnall is a man who doesn't know how to commit to a story. At so many points I was hoping that any of this build-up would have some substance to it. That Yaz would do something stupid and get killed trying to be the doctor. That the Doctor would finally open up, or firmly decide not to (which is still an ending to the arc!), Or that the Master would explain why they want to be Rasputin! (In all seriousness, I'll believe that the master would impersonate Rasputin specifically for the dance number, but why would the Daleks agree to this plan?)

All this to say... Jodie deserved better, but it's over now. Onwards and upwards!

[non-man049]

So I finally stopped procrastinated and finished series 11 so uhhh... Some thoughts:

Some really fun and creative sci-fi ideas and spectacles.

Doctor Who dialogue is usually very witty and entertaining but here it's just kind of dry and not very interesting for most of it.

I really wanted to like Yaz (girl kisser rep <3) but Graham is just the best companion and it's not even a competition (Yaz does briefly take the spot for best companion in 'Demons Of The Punjab' tho).

Nothing on the actors but I do think their acting is poorly directed. Too many lines are all in very similar tones and inflections. Jodie and Bradley can still pull-off some fun deliveries but I'm really not sold on Tosin and Mandip.

Some really messy themes and politics, mostly in how they are solved. Everyone and their mothers have complained about the ending of 'Arachnids In The U.K', 'Kerblam', and 'The Battle Of Ranskoor Av Kolos' so I won't go into them but even in general the themes feel underdeveloped and they can be solved in pretty anti-climatic ways.

'Demons Of The Punjab', 'The Witchfinders', and 'It Takes You Away' are the best episodes of the series because they avoid all of the problems above.

I can very much believe 'The Battle Of Ranskoor Av Kolos' is a first draft, it has this strange feeling to how it's paced and structured that I can really only describe as the script being on auto-pilot.

'Arachnids In The U.K' is the Spider-Man 3 of Doctor Who (I won't elaborate on that).

13 might have the best fit from a nuwho Doctor. I kinda want to cosplay her now. Also yeah, Jodie is a good Doctor (but we all know that already).

Overall, lots of fun ideas and spectacle brought down to being the stage for uninteresting characters, dialogue, and themes. I would say several episodes still manage to be good or just plain fun but this is very much the season I was the most consistently bored with.

I can't get mad at Doctor Who in general, but even here I just can't really get mad at some of the bad writing like others because I'm just simply bored and not engaged with what's happening.

Sorry, really wanted to come out and say it's amazing and underrated but I can't really do that. Hope series 12 is better.

[esonetwork]

Timestamp #289: Kerblam!

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/timestamp-289-kerblam/

Timestamp #289: Kerblam!

Doctor Who: Kerblam! (1 episode, s11e07, 2018)

Prime shipping is killer!

The TARDIS is flying wildly due to the Doctor’s attempts to evade something pursuing them. She finally recognizes it as a teleport pulse and is excited when the pulse materializes in the console room as a Kerb!am Man, a delivery employee with a package for the Doctor. The box contains a fez and a call for help, and the companions urge the Doctor to investigate.

They materialize at Kerb!am’s headquarters on a moon of Kandoka. Ryan inspires the Doctor to have the team go undercover as new hires at the warehouse. They go through indoctrination and orientation with Judy, the Head of People, and learn that the robots around the facility supervise the ten percent organic workforce. They get scanned and tagged with ankle bracelets so they can be tracked, and then sorted into their respective departments. Ryan and Graham are assigned to packaging while Yaz works fulfillment. The Doctor uses her sonic to swap places with Graham, which moves him to maintenance.

The Doctor and Ryan meet Kira Arlo. Ryan is a natural since he used to do this work back on Earth. The Doctor asks Kira about the environment at Kerb!am, learning that the ten percent organic worker standard is a law to prevent full automation.

Yaz asks similar questions of her teammate Dan, who warns her that the robotic managers can hear everything. Dan is a superstar at work, becoming a literal poster child for the company. His daughter works upstairs but he only sees her twice a year. Their discussion is interrupted by a robotic manager who demands that they increase their efficiency. When Yaz gets a fulfillment request for the Triple Nine sector, Dan swaps places with her.

As periodic power drains plague the facility, the packaging team meets Kira’s boss, Jarva Slade, who is pretty abusive toward his subordinates. When the Doctor asks him if anyone needs help, he becomes unnerved and leaves in a rush. Meanwhile, Dan is ambushed by a robot in the Triple Nine sector. Yaz goes to find him and hears his screams, but she only finds his scanner and the necklace from his daughter. She evades the robots and ducks through a door.

Graham meets his teammate Charlie in maintenance. They are startled by an emergency break period, and the TARDIS team meets up in a nice park area for the period. Charlie meets Kira after she spills her lunch, and the Doctor takes the news of Dan’s disappearance to the head office while Graham makes a map of the facility. Judy and Jarva promise to look into it.

The Doctor, Ryan, and Yaz hide in a nearby alcove to wait until the managers leave the office. The Doctor regales her friends with stories of wasps and Agatha Christie. Meanwhile, Graham and Charlie build a relationship as the former works his way into building a map of the building. Charlie introduces Graham to the museum area where a map is kept. The Doctor, Ryan, and Yaz are shocked by a list of missing employees, but they are surprised by Judy (who is also shocked by the list). Charlie and Graham arrive with the map as the building goes into lockdown. They are all ambushed by a robot which is disabled by the Doctor. A scan of the robot’s memory shows that the overall system is acting up.

The employees on the list are shown as alive in the system, meaning that the system may be compromised. The Doctor finds the original delivery robot code in the museum and uses it to reset the computers. Elsewhere, Kira is abducted by two robots, prompting the team to go after her in the Dispatch areas. To do so, Ryan, Yaz, and Charlie dive into the chutes and ride them down into a vast maze of conveyor belts and sorting machines.

Kira is led to a concrete bunker. Upstairs, Judy, Graham, and the Doctor convince the 1.0 robot to scan the system and look for anomalies. They discover that the Kerb!am system is who summoned the Doctor for help. The rest of the team is summoned to Dispatch where Ryan, Yaz, and Charlie are dodging decontamination protocols. When they teleport downstairs, they are ambushed by Slade with a gun. The Doctor disables him with Venusian aikido before he reveals that he’s investigating the disappearances. They discover the liquified remains of the missing workers near an army of delivery robots, each holding a package.

Kira receives a gift, presumably for her stellar performance, as Ryan, Yaz, and Charlie try to break her out. The box contains only bubble wrap, and she is instantly vaporized when she pops one of the bubbles. Ryan and Yaz note that Charlie knew what was going to happen. Meanwhile, the Doctor discovers that the bubble wrap in every package is a collection of bombs.

The pieces come together when Charlie is revealed as the villain. He wanted to frame the Kerb!am artificial intelligence for the murder of millions of customers so the ten percent rule would be lifted. He’s fighting for organics, but the AI asked for help to stop the plan. The Doctor tries to reason with him, pointing out that the systems aren’t the problem. The people who exploit the systems for personal gain are the problem.

Charlie activates his army and destroys the controller. As Charlie escapes into the robotic ranks, the Doctor uses the 1.0 interface to reroute the delivery addresses, forcing the army to materialize in the hangar and detonate their bombs. The Doctor offers Charlie one last chance to survive, but he refuses and the team teleports back to the lobby.

The workers are given two weeks of paid leave as Judy and Jarva decide to transition Kerb!am to a company led by organic personnel. Yaz asks the Doctor if she can return Dan’s necklace to his daughter, and as the Doctor agrees, Ryan and Graham ponder the bubble wrap that accompanied the fez as the adventure started.

This story deals with the constant modernization of workplaces and retail environments, as well as the backlash that working environments that aren’t focused on the worker may face. It remains relevant in many ways today, both in labor actions like strikes and the popularity of self-checkouts in big box retail stores.

But this story also flips the script midstream by leading us to believe that a worker has asked the Doctor for help before revealing that the Kerb!am system is really the petitioner. Does that mean that the Doctor stood up for the corporation over the people? No, and this is the part that really made me think about this adventure, because helping the system led to systemic change for the organic workers. It’s a really neat twist with someone in power on the inside forcing a positive change from within.

I rather liked the idea of the Kerb!am Man being able to deliver directly to the TARDIS, as we previously saw in The Greatest Show in the Galaxy and The Doctor’s Wife. I mean, sure, the ship is virtually indestructible and has shields to prevent intrusion but how often has this show ignored the TARDIS’s physical security for the sake of plot? Quite often, really. It’s science fiction/fantasy, not reality. Roll with it.

Finally, I loved the concept of taking something we all do – popping bubble wrap – and making it questionable or nefarious. It’s a very Doctor Who thing to do.

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

UP NEXT – Doctor Who: The Witchfinders

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

[rose-tylers]

Doctor, can I make a request? Always.

[casual-violinist-fangirl]

‘You didn’t expect to fall in love, but that’s exactly what happens.’

- The Doctor

This quote hit me quite hard simply because (as well as ringing many Thasmin bells) it’s painfully true. The Doctor never planned on loving (romantically or platonically) any of her companions which makes it even more heartbreaking.

[not-mandip]

Robertson could’ve been a good companion you guys are just gay:

Has no fear or sense of self preservation: the guy successfully negociated with multiple Daleks, and didn’t get killed! He knew what they were, and what they did, and yet, took the risk and proposed an alliance. He was even treated like an equal, none of the companions have done that before. That’s a raw talent there.

He can grow into something better: Ryan went from baby to man, Graham grew up closer to his grandson. Yaz turned gay (and do did half the fandom). Robertson can grow to be a more eco conscious business man, who cares about the people. Think of what he would’ve learned if he went to kerblam? To not employ ppl bcuz they fuck up your fully automated business? We all know the true message was to not use bubblewrap. Do you know how much money he could save if he switched to something else less plastic? TONS of money. The planet would personally thank him. And on Praxeus? Eco consciousness saves lives.

Solid Morale: gave a mercy shot to a spider. Thirteen would’ve let it asphyxiate to death (a very slow and painful death I might add), and let’s not talk about how she put all of the baby spiders in a room to starve to death too. Robertson knew better, he prevented the suffering. And don’t come to me with him letting Kevin die, STOP LYING YOU GUYS WOULDVE DONE THE SAME ITS A FUCKING 6ft TALL SPIDER.

Questions the Doctor: Robertson boi doesn’t do things just because the Doctor said he had to, he straight up does whatever he thinks is correct and he’s usually is right: killed the spider against the Doctor’s wishes? Yes, but it was dying anyway, he didn’t let it suffer. Tried to do business with the Daleks against the Doctor’s advice? Lemme tell you this: what was the Doctor gonna do about the thousands of errant daleks? Let em float around? Nah, Robertson gave her the chance to think of a better plan that worked even better than the last one. Kudos to him.

Proper awe at the TARDIS: are you even a companion if you don’t showcase in shakesperean fashion your amazement when stepping on the TARDIS for the first time? The fam was kind of flat, bigger on the inside, no big deal. Even Ryan seemed more impressed by the amount of buttons in the console than the engineering dimensions explanation. Robertson boi was full on confused, to the point it was comical. Perfect. I bet you he would’ve asked Bill-style questions if someone has explained to him what is a TARDIS

Has valid reasons to run away from his life: being a CEO of your own hotel chain, waste disposal company, security drones system company and being pseudo president on the side must be pretty draining. Yeah he might not know what’s going on in his multiple companies but to be fair you don’t really know what’s going on in your own piping until it gets clogged. Must be really hard on him tbh, and he does look a bit tense. He just needs a nice evening in a sunny planet and let go of the stress. And maybe build another hotel in space.

Has business smarts: this is pretty obvious, but think about it. Robbie boi knows how money works, and how it moves and influences. In theory, that’s a good quality. Money makes us not think straight, the guy knows that. Imagine the potential. He could’ve appealed to Edison’s nature in the Tesla episode, and cut it by at least 30 minutes. And the Orphan 55 episode? Well, he would’ve give some good advice to the resort owners and help them improve security, with Dalek drones maybe? Business guy to business guy. They would’ve been pals.

He’s a Rat but everybody thinks he’s hero: very Doctory if you ask me. Rainbow Brite has done some bad shit, killing an innocent TARDIS, for example, and is not afraid to let people die if it fits the cause. That’s pretty dark for someone who believes all life must be preserved, but she’s seen as a hero. And now to Robertson boi. He did rat out the Doc and her plan, but that ultimately ended up saving more lives than whatever the Doctor wanted to do first. And he was also a good distraction for them Daleks, too busy doing business with him to notice two humans an an immortal planting explosives everywhere. And he also helps the economy by buying companies and employing people. Yeah, he messed up quite a few times but so did the Doctor and no one talks about it.

[sailingsunsets]

so i noticed something in the Kerblam! episode...

as head of people, Judy Maddox, proudly proclaimed before sending the fam through the scanner “the system allocates work details based on fitness, stamina, dexterity and mental assessments.” and that’s all good and well and we won’t be going into that here today now, but what struck me as odd was...

...their anklets. (this is just after they got them on)

Judy says that purple is for the packing station (Ryan and Graham), orange is for item retrieval (Yaz) and green is for premium maintenance (Doctor).

now, we’ve seen the Doctor go undercover before, both with his memory intact in “School Reunion” in Series 2 with Rose and Sarah Jane and then later on without it and transformed human in “Human Nature” in Series 3 with Martha, where he was a teacher/professor both times. as in, positions that reflect her intellect and knowledge and worked well because of that.

so upon consideration it struck me as odd when the Doctor was given the post of maintenance at Kerblam - not a job where she can put all that knowledge and experience running around to work now, can she? mopping spills and wiping down stalls?

except. it’s the system who dictates where you go. it’s the system that decides, “based on skills you bring along”, and it just so happened that the system send a packing slip with a call for help to the Doctor, bc it knew what Charlie Duffy was planning to do, and now there’s the Doctor, answering that call, stepping into that machine to get assigned to a job, and the system realizes it’s her! she’s here! let’s get her right to the problem, stick her with Charlie, she’ll need to figure the rest out but that’s okay bc she’s the Doctor and she’s smart and then

and then she goes and switches jobs with Graham bc she’s nosy and so so curious and a fan of the Kerblam Man and sometimes not very good at seeing what’s so obviously in front of her own nose, and delays the entire events of the episode back because if she’d gone to Charlie maybe she would’ve found out about his scheming earlier.

so what i meant to say here was, that was a pretty genius move the showrunners pulled, and such a tiny detail it totally got lost on me while i watched it the first time. but i adore small things like these, and so i figured it deserved its own post.

[makiruz]

In the past few days I’ve been watching videos explaining why series 11 and 12 or Doctor Who are bad; I haven’t watched the show because I’ve heard it’s bad, so I want to learn everything I and determine if I should watch at least some of it.

What I’ve found it’s not actually that the show it’s not very good (although it sounds like it isn’t) it’s that it’s centrist liberal trash! Holy cow, the stuff I didn’t know!

Okay, first off, the stuff I did know: Kerblam, where the Doctor sides with Amazon against worker’s protest; systems aren’t evil my ass! Next Jo Martin and the Timeless Child incarnations, racial diversity! But let’s not let them do anything and it’s not like Jo Martin is gonna be the Doctor for real! A black woman (Grace) is fridged in the first (white) female Doctor’s intro episode

Now this is the stuff I found out: 1. There are tons of queer characters! Who are one off, occasionally die and play no major roll overall. 2. Jo Martin comes back during the Timeless Child stuff to cheer up the Doctor, basically being a black character serving to advance the plot of a white one, woo. 3 Another black woman is fridged in another episode (Daniel Barton’s Mother). 4. There’s a Trump stand in to make fun of Trump 5. One episode has an ethnic cleansing but in passing?

Finally, the what-the-fuck-were-you-thinking one: The Doctor weaponizes The Master’s race against him. WHAT? I mean, what? So basically, the Doctor takes advantage that the Master is now a man of color to throw him at some Nazis so she can get away. Seriously What? Why would you do that? Why would you come up with that, write it down, make people act it up and film it, edit it, and then put it on TV? What the fuck Chibnall? What the actual fuck?

Oh, I’ve heard Rosa is not very good in terms of representing Rosa Parks, but this I don’t know about. Also supposedly the only character who gets a proper arc is Graham, the white man. And most reviews have a problem with Yaz, the non-white woman, so her portrayal doesn’t sound like it’s very good