#kim dokja teases her about it

[asteropewpew]

we should talk more about han sooyoung's potentially inherited dragon traits from her sponsor...

like han "my sponsor is the abyssal black flame dragon" sooyoung just having some shared subtle dragon traits that nobody thinks to be out of the ordinary except that, "wow, sooyoung-ssi's really intense sometimes, huh?"

consider han sooyoung sharing the stereotypical dragon traits where she's very possessive of yookim and then kimcom like she doesn't like other people trying to cozy up to them, when her eyes would glint and turn into catlike-slits when she's angry...and her hands turning into claws when she's agitated and darkening into inky black very tough scaled skin...just han sooyoung smiling a very not nice fanged smile when someone pissed her off (and yookim + kimcom are the only ones that survive from actively pissing her off)

*everyone is deathly terrified about this...but at least she's not spewing out fire right...right?*

kimcom just treating hsy like a snooty cat makes things both worse and funnier because abfd is so smug that his incarnation established her own hoard (read: kimcom) and is rightfully defending her hoard. swk and sp have an ongoing bet on when kimcom will realize hsy's dragon-like tendencies, and then there's uriel who is wondering if this is why jung heewon tends to be a little more wound up whenever she's alone with han sooyoung...since abfd is technically in the evil alignment

[themissinghand]

Hi you...I hope you have a wonderful day.If you don't mind my request..I want to ask Kim Dokja x sweetheart!reader..The reader is his lover since school (The reader who expressed her feelings for Kim Dokja first.).Before the destruction happened, the reader behaved like a wife to Kim Dokja because the reader knew Kim Dokja's past so the reader gave everything for Kim Dokja to know that he was always loved. (This man needs comfort..).. After the destruction happened, they separated from each other..(Kim Dokja is on the train while the Reader is everywhere.)..Kim Dokja is always worried about the condition of his lover..When they meet again, their meeting is full of romance and fluff after being separated for a long time ..(I bet Kim Dokja's group was the most surprised and the uproar because the Reader and Kim Dokja are very polar opposite.)..The constellation supporting the Reader is also extraordinary..Because the privacy attribute of the reader is also extraordinary..

Thanks for reading..I hope I didn't bother you..I love your work😍..Give you a lot of love💕💕💕..(Btw ,did you read The S-Classes That I Raised or not ??..I love Han Yoojin)..Take care of yourself..Bye dear author 🥰..

Omniscient Reader Viewpoint: Fool

Summary: In which Kim Dokja is a fool for you.

Or snippets between Kim Dokja and his wife in an apocalyptic world.

Pairing: Kim Dokja x F! Wife! Reader

Note: Thanks for your patience! I’m also currently reading The S-Classes That I Raised Manhwa, but not the novel! The holy trinity with Han Yoojin, Kim Dokja, and Cale Henituse are literally my favourite trio. 

Warnings: Minor novel spoilers! Lots of kisses, fluffy, but also light angst, and implied sexual themes. 

★・・・・・・★

Oh Baby, I Missed You

Where are you? 

Kim Dokja watched what remained of Seoul while standing beside the protagonist of his novel. 

Even after all those scenarios, how come he could not see you even once? 

[The Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is curious about what Incarnation ‘Kim Dokja’ is looking for]

As if on cue, Kim Dokja felt someone’s eyes on him. Spinning around with his hand on his sword, he matched the weariness of the sunfish beside him. 

“Baby!” Hearing a familiar voice, Dokja freezes in disbelief until he hears two blades clashing with one another. 

“Who are you?” Yoo Joonghyk growled at you, who defended well and jumped back. But instead of a blade, you had a long bo staff. 

“Me? I’m Dokja’s wife.” 

“WHAT?!” The door to the rooftop swung open with multiple heads popping through in shock. 

“Is that true Dokja-ssi?” Yoo Sangrah asked, and when all of the attention was on him, Kim Dokja sheepishly nodded. 

“WHAT???? So you and Master-” Jung Heewon immediately covered Lee Jihye's mouth and grinned. 

“Nice to meet you er…”

“(L/N) (F/N). Been Dokja’s lover since a decade ago.” You smiled sweetly, before walking towards Dokja with open arms. 

“I missed you baby.” 

This time, Kim Dokja walked forward and hugged you tightly, and he felt embarrassed when everyone was watching him.

[The Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is wiping her tears] 

[The Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ did not know Incarnation ‘Kim Dokja’ was already taken]

[Many Constellations wishes for your happiness]  

“Baby, can I kiss you?” Kim Dokja flushed at your innocent question, but looking over your shoulder, he saw the wiggling eyebrows and grinning expressions from his teammates. Despite knowing his team would tease him forever, he knew he couldn’t reject your request. 

“I miss you too.” 

Without another moment, you cup his cheeks and pull him in for not one, not two, but three quick kisses. 

[The Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ jaw dropped]

There were surprised gasps and squeals, and a few hushes from Lee Heewon. 

“No wonder he always looks like he’s looking for something…”

“This is not for children to see.” 

“But hyung is-” 

[The Constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ gags]

[The Constellation ‘Secretive Plotters’ did not expect a romantic plot]

[The Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ donates 1000 coins]

[The Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is squealing at the reunion kiss]

“You have a lot of constellations following you baby. As expected of you.” Kim Dokja, still a little breathless and dazed from the consecutive kisses, buries his face into your shoulder in embarrassment while you play with his hair. 

He missed this.

He missed you.

“I didn’t know my constellation was following you too.” Kim Dokja perked up at your words in interest.

“Which one?” 

[The Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ slowly looks away in disbelief]

“No way.” Maybe her long bo staff should have been an indicator. 

[The Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ looks at the Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ suspiciously]

[The Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ looks at the Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ suspiciously]

[The Constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ looks at the Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ suspiciously]

You smiled innocently as if it wasn’t a big deal, and was just happy to see him. 

[The Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ pats himself on the back and is proud he has good eyes]

So Don’t Go, Stay With Me

“Do you have to go?” 

“Yea. I have to go find my family. I’ll be safe, and I know you’ll be safe since you have such reliable people around you.” 

You cup his cheeks as you two stare into each other’s eyes lovingly. 

“Message me if you need me, and I’ll come with my nimbus cloud at any time.”

Knowing that your constellation was the Monkey King, Kim Dokja knew you were capable and perhaps on the same level as the protagonist. 

But…

“We can find them together.” 

“Dokja, don’t you already made plans with the sunfish?” He balled his hands into fists. 

“I want you to see the end of that novel you love so much. And I’ll come join you when I’m done. I promise.”

You tippy toe and then press a kiss to his forehead. 

“Baby, trust me.”

Kim Dokja then kisses your cheeks, before you decide to skip the formalities to kiss him on the lips. It was all it took for Kim Dokja to let go, and interlace your hands.

Soft and sweet, Kim Dokja felt loved with how gentle you are with him. He doesn’t want you to go. 

And he will miss you when you are gone. 

Kiss Me Slowly, Show Me You Love Me

Kim Dokja knew you were the one when you jumped after him.

"Kim Dokja!"

When he saw you reach out for him as he fell from that rooftop in middle school.

When you proposed to him on one knee, and kissed his hands as you whisk him away from his miserable reality.

He knew you were the one, when you cried for him, and saved his life, again and again.

“Don’t touch him. Even if you are his mother and my mother-in-law, you have no right to kill him to prove a point.” 

“Move.” 

“Over my dead body.” 

Kim Dokja could barely see you standing before his sleeping body, beside Han Sooyoung, protecting him from his mother.

[The Fourth Wall is shaking] 

“You don’t know anything.” 

“That’s fine with me. I trust Dokja more than you.” In the next moment, he felt a cloud form underneath him, followed by curses and gunshots being fired. 

“It’s you! You’re the one who he loves the most! And you’re going to kill him!”

Feeling your calloused hands on top of his head, he saw many versions of you pop out. 

Was it the duplication skill that the Monkey King had? 

“I’ll break the prophecy because I will never hurt my baby.” 

Kim Dokja smiled faintly, before he lost consciousness again. 

Because Only You Can Kill Me

“Baby, you can’t do this.” 

The world is silent for once. The channel was off and both of you paid the price for such privacy. 

“It’s the only way.” 

“Kim Dokja.” He flinches when you call his full name, you never do.

“I have to. It’s the only way that the story will move on.” 

“There has to be another way.” You purse your lips and rub your temples. 

“There has to be a way.”

Kim Dokja held your hand solemnly. 

“There is no other way-”

“Shut up!” You shook off his hand in anger. 

He knows you know that this was the easiest way. 

“I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself!” 

That’s why you’re angry. 

He hugs you from behind. 

“You’re an idiot for even thinking that, there has to be another way!” You break out of his hold and stare at him straight in the eye. 

“If only I had more power-” Kim Dokja grabbed your hand and placed it on his heart.

“(Y/N), I only trust you. You know that right?” Kim Dokja smiles. 

“You’re the only one who can kill me. No one else can.” He felt your hand tremble as you took a shaky breath. 

“So please…kill me.” 

So the story can go on.

“Don’t look at me like that baby.” You say after short deliberation. 

Finally, with a subtle nod, you conceded with tears rolling down your cheeks. 

Then, without further ado, Kim Dokja pulls you in desperately, and both of you were surprised when he was the first to initiate the kiss. 

But when the two of you are so intimate and so close to one another, knowing that the future is uncertain, neither of you want to let go. 

Please, Make Me Your Everything

Kim Dokja feels so desperate in this apocalyptic world. 

He’s planning and looking so far ahead using his knowledge of the novel, and sometimes, he feels like an outlier. 

Perhaps he is. 

Just like he always has. 

But when he’s in your arms as you plant kisses from his collarbone and trails to his neck, he feels at the center of the world, your world. 

Slowly, he feels you kiss his jawline before going closer and closer to his lips, and feels impatient with how slow you are. Every single kiss tingles on his skin, making him remember every precious moment he had with you.

He will never admit it, but he’s frightened for the future. Not about his death (because he will come back, he has a backup for that), but during his absence. 

You are strong and responsible enough to lead the team, but he was afraid that you were going to take on the burden alone. 

When he finally feels your lips on his, he pulls you closer, treasuring every second of you just like how you make him feel alive everyday. 

“Baby. What’s wrong?” Your fingers gently wipe his tear away as you hold him, and when he feels your tears drop on him, he couldn’t help himself. 

“I’m sorry. I just…” 

“Shh, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I trust you.” Kissing him on his nose gave him butterflies, but even so, he couldn’t get rid of this bitterness in his heart. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you so much.” Dokja repeated the same words until his voice croaked and his lips became dry.

All the while you ruffled his hair and massaged his scalp, and responded to each of his confessions with affirmation. 

“We’re gonna be okay, and you’re gonna be okay. I’ll wait for you Baby.”

That night, Kim Dokja cried himself to sleep in your arms, and for the first time in a long time, he felt warm, secure, and well-rested. 

So when he feels his own sword pierce through his heart painlessly by the one who he swore his eternity to, he feels just as safe and happy. 

You catches him as he falls, as you cry silently and reminds him to come back soon. 

“Don’t forget me, please.” 

How could he? When you’re the one who chose to move forward with the story, when you’re the one who will face his team after their reckless plan?  

He was already greedy and selfish, wanting you to never forget him and wait for him, however long that may be.

Kim Dokja is a fool.

An idiot that only makes you cry.

With a strained smile, he nods before noticing the notification above. 

[Incarnation ‘Kim Dokja’ will be killed by the person he loves the most]

When he wakes up, he promises that he will never sacrifice himself again.

But the story must go on.

[nightylantern]

Yoo Joonghyuk x Reader; A story of two regressors

Haha didn’t think I would do ORV? Y’all I need more orv fics, HUGE novel spoilers so beware, but no explicit spoilers so if you are only WEBTOON reader and have no context of the novel you may end up confused, I will write novel free version, and it will be available later this week or next week so stay tuned!

You both were the same, yet different

The both of you had been given the skill “regression,” and thus you both had agreed to be companions, before Kim Dokja appeared followed by a noticeable Han Sooyoung. Beforehand it was just the two of you, the both of you bled together and teamed up in the previous regressions, the two of you wholly relied on each other and swore to always to keep the other in check, regardless of how far along you would be.

When you both met, it was your 0th turn and his first turn. You both were in different cabs and came out of the train, along with Kim Namwoom and Lee Hyunsung. Eventually meeting Lee Jihye and recruiting her aswell saving Lee Seolhwa from Anitus. You barely recall what had happened in that regression aside from bonding with the crew and having a playful relationship with Yoo Joonghuk, you teased him a lot, trained with him, and the two of you became each others support, each others weight. Was that to say the two of you were romantically involved? No, both of you were prioritizing your survival and plus, Yoo Joonghyuk had his little sister to protect. Regardless, you bonded over your power aswell as the fact that you would see each other again in the next life, until your quick end came within a few scenarios.

When you woke in your 1st regression, you recall Joonghyuk calling for you, clearly a bit disheveled, you were happy to see he also was sent back, but sad when you realised your old companions weren’t. It was hard, you couldn’t reminisce with Jihye about the early scenarios, couldn’t bring up the funny moments with Namwoon, or even small talks with Hyunsung unless they happened again…but even if it did they…felt so different. You recalled how Joonghyuk was a bit colder in that round, but still a bit hopeful nonetheless, and then the both of you were approached by Anna Croft, where you found suspicion, he took the offer she gave, an offer to save the world.

Once again Lee Seolhwa was in your group except her relationship with Joonghyuk was much more…comfortable I suppose. You thought you had seen his eyes linger on her on the previous round, and now you were sure because it was clear he had feelings for her. You often told him not to let his feelings take over, for they were in the middle of survival and loving someone would just be tragic, yet he continued to love, and while you warned him for his own good you couldn’t help but feel…petty.

You watched as they would eventually get married, and eventually they even were going to have a child, and while you supported them every step of the way your heart continued to ache, and then Anna Croft betrayed you all. You recall how Joonghyuk cried when his sister died, he looked to desperate at that time, but when Seolhwa and his unborn child died he went mad, so mad that he accidentally killed you, but even as you were dying you held on him tight, hugging him, apologising for being weak and promising you will be there in the next round. By the time he was able to snap out of it he cradled your body, and for the last time he cried, and then it all went black.

When you met in the next regression, his third one, everything that you had gone through felt so…distorted, it was as if after all of that time you went through hundreds if not thousands of regressions ahead rather than just one… but when you met Joonghyuk who looked rather shaken but closed off completely you confirmed it was the 3rd round, after all if it wasn’t the third round what round would it be, a secret unknown round hundreds of rounds ahead?

This round was much different, he considered you his companion but he was so cold, he monopolised what he could and was different from before, but it was understandable considering what he had went through. On top of that not only was Kim Namwoon dead and other people had survived, a suspicious man named Kim Dokja also appeared and had known the future. It was interesting, he knew of Yoo Joonghyuk but when he looked at you he seemed confused, and he was pale when Joonghyuk said you were his companion of his last two rounds despite Dokjas offer, but it wasn’t as if it was because you had taken the offer, it was if you were an anomaly, a glitch in the system, something that wasn’t supposed to exist, or maybe he didn’t know you existed as he seemed confused about your presence. It was different for you as you seemed to have recognized him, you never seemed to have met him but he looked so…familar. He wanted to help, but the last time Joonghyuk trusted someone both of you died horribly, so he tested him by throwing him off the bridge and sure enough, he proved himself through the scenarios.

It was the three of you until Han Sooyoung came along, another woman along with Sangah, Heewon, and Gilyoung who looked familar…it made you think every time you were stumped, but you guys remained close nonetheless. You would train, laugh when Kim Dokja did something to irritate him, and Joonghyuk would try his best to comfort you when you felt like you were gonna go into the regression depression just as you would with him(Though Kim Dokja was the one who would help the most.) There were times where he would even doze off near you, times where he would cook for you and times he would leave you with Yoo Mia, and if either of you “rested your eyes” on each others shoulder, nobody would say a word.

“Do you think this time we will make it to the end?” He asked you surprisingly, you thought his optimism was gone but it seemed that he still had hope left. “I don’t want to get our hopes up but…we have Kim Dokja so I’m sure we will be fine…” You trailed off, but he knew you were worried, he patted your head as he took his leave out of the base. Strange, he didn’t do that ever in this round…

Kim Dokja always took the lead rather than Joonghyuk this time around, and you were grateful as he always protected every one (at the expense of his safety unfortunately, which you would bonk him over the head for.) But even so, the way he always looked at you was so…off, it wasn’t jealousy, in fact Han Sooyoung who often was with Dokja in terms of plans even looked at you confused and suspiciously, it was as if you had never existed beside Yoo Joonghyuk, which couldn’t be true, you were in Joonghyuk previous regressions right? They knew Jihye, Hyunsung, Seolhwa, aswell as others and knew how things worked, and yet when it came to you… perhaps it was some prank as the two were always together, it had to be right? After all you were in the last [redacted] regressions-

“Wait, what did I just say..?” You thought as you blacked out

you were in a dark abyss, but you could hear voices around you, some were panicked and others were calm, and a huge amount of memories flooded through you, yet you couldn’t pick through any of them, they were all distorted, and suddenly you heard a deep but clear voice.

“A shame really,” the deep voice said as you felt a gloved hand stroke your cheek, “after all of those rounds of suffering, I’m left to see him reap the rewards? A companion who could regress despite the presence being non existent before hand.” What? “And a companion who knows the future, and yet that person remains as arrogant and ungrateful as ever.” He wasn’t referring to you, he was referring to that person. You wanted to see who was infront of you, or seemed to be in front of you, but the hands moved from you cheek to your eyes and covered it as your body, “relax,” the voice said somewhat gently, “you will be back with HIM soon.” As you felt your body becoming more relaxed and heavy, you heard him mention that person again, aswell as some mumbling, but there was one sentence you could hear from him clearly, and from the direction of his voice you knew it wasn’t towards you, but towards that person again, and his voice carried both resentment, and sadness;

“Why is it not me but you?”

Credits go to the ORV Novel and its amazing authors, I hope you enjoyed this story! I won’t deny that I actually tried to dig a bit into lore with this fic! I have no plans to write any sort of series in regards to my lore, but I do have an idea of the lore. If I ever do put it out there someone, as long as they credit me can do it in my stead! Farewell!

[irlkdj]

Doksoo Analysis: Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint [SPOILERS]

I’d like to talk about the relationship between Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung and how I perceive it. At its core, I think their story portrays that when we really love someone—truly and fully—we are willing to give up our own happiness to ensure theirs. This is something we see from both Sooyoung and Dokja. Han Sooyoung may seem selfish at times, especially at the beginning of the novel, but that’s because we did not yet know at the time that she gave up each of her nights and slept away her days to save Kim Dokja. We see Kim Dokja constantly throwing his life away because he loves his companions—something he is often berated for. So yes, the two of them are the same in this aspect: I love you, and I will destroy anything that gets in the way of your path to happiness. I will uproot the world and empty oceans; I will shoot down the sun and grab the moon to give to you, so long as you are safe and happy. Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung are not perfect people. And I think they see the faults in one another, and love even those pieces of themselves that the other hates. Han Sooyoung who hated Kim Dokja so much for sacrificing himself over and over again—and yet she ended up doing the same thing for him. Her memories, her time, her youth. She spent all that time ensuring the happiness of a little boy who thought he couldn’t be happy. We see in the epilogue that Han Sooyoung truly loves every part of Kim Dokja as she races after him in that train station. She reflects on his negative and positive traits positively:

“That was the exact same face of Kim Dokja she remembered.

The man who came to her 1863rd regression turn. The man who she wanted to see again. The detestable man with his own brand of ass-kissing. The man who lied really easily. The man who she enjoyed being around, since they could lie about something together and snicker among themselves.

‘----‘

The man, who didn't remember her.”

When Han Sooyoung even considers the possibility that Kim Dokja could really, truly be gone, she thought: “That was the sound of someone only living in their past finally letting go of that very past. Right at that moment, Han Sooyoung was overcome by the bizarre guilt of corruption, of betrayal.” Her regret of not being able to save him properly. All of her efforts wasted. But they weren’t wasted, not to Kim Dokja, who got to experience love, joy, friendship, and family because of Han Sooyoung. She created a world in which he could be happy. She crafted a universe where Kim Dokja could be loved just by being.. Kim Dokja. So they’re really in this constant loop. Han Sooyoung sacrifices herself to save Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja sacrifices himself to save the world she created. And then she tries everything in her power to get him back. And Kim Dokja continues to love that story she created for him:

“Not being able to comment did bum me out. I wanted to let Han Sooyoung know of my emotions one more time. To tell her that I could only come this far because of the story you gave me, that I loved your story more than anyone in this world.” 

Kim Dokja loved her story. But people are stories too. Friends, families, lovers, strangers. We’re all stories in the end. Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja. She wrote the story. He read it. They created a world together. And in the end, they tore it all down to ensure the happiness of those they loved. Because what is the point of such a world if Han Sooyoung cannot turn to her left and tease Kim Dokja. What is the point of such a world if Kim Dokja cannot take another joyride with Han Sooyoung, and get made fun of for screaming “I am the protagonist!” 

I’ll leave with this. The last thing Han Sooyoung wished to do before her memories faded was to see Kim Dokja. Just to /see/ him. Can you grasp the weight of this action? 

“Kim Dokja felt that sensation of touch on his shoulder and looked behind him.

However, the incoming waves of commuters heading to work swept him up, and he got pushed into the subway, instead.”

Just one last touch. One last glance. One last time—can I please see him again? Can I please see the man that I am about to ruin the world for? Can I please see that he is whole? That he is real? That he isn’t words behind a screen? I think this moment really displays just how much Han Sooyoung really.. loved Kim Dokja. Wholeheartedly and unapologetically. Just seeing him one more time before disaster struck, and knowing all that was about to ensue: that was her moment. The moment that made it all worth it. This man. This pathetic man. I will destroy the world for you. And I will not apologize for it. So don’t you ever apologize for existing, and don’t you ever forget how loved you are. 

[chuncao]

“I love you”

Joongdok high school AU

“Kim Dokja, I love you.” 

Han Sooyoung suddenly grabbed his hand with a serious expression. 

“W-what?” 

“Haha you gotta see the look on your face dude!” 

Han Sooyoung crackled while pointing at Dokja’s face. 

“That’s not funny.” 

He gave her an unimpressed look. 

“Ah shit I couldn’t stop laughing haha. Do you know the “I love you” game? I saw it on the TV yesterday so I decided to give it a go. Didn’t really expect you to freak out like that LOL.” 

Her laughters had died down but Kim Dokja could still see her trying her best to contain her laugh. 

“Ah! I know it. You are supposed to say “I love you” to someone and if the other person laugh or smile then you win, right?” Yoo Sangah chimed in from where she was doing her homework.  

“Correct! Oh and I love you Yoo Sangah.” 

Han Sooyoung turned to where Yoo Sangah was and smiled sweetly at her. 

“T-Thank you- Ah darn it! I smiled.” 

Yoo Sangah unconsciously smiled at Han Sooyoung’s “confession”. Some of the nearby classmates caught wind of what they were doing and decided to join them. Before they knew it, the whole class had joined the game, the sentence “I love you” coming from one’s mouth to another. Everyone was busy with teasing each other except for a certain sleeping sunfish. Totally unaware of the the whole game going on, Yoo Joonghyuk was sleeping with headphones on, his head laying on the desk. 

“Hey Kim Dokja.” 

Han Sooyoung called out to him. 

“If you dare to wake Yoo Joonghyuk up and play the game with him, I will treat you to McDonald’s after school today.”

“No thanks, I still treasure my life.” 

He shuddered at the thought of being the recipient of one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s murderous glare. That glare could send one straight to the Antartica, he swore. 

“How about me lending you my Star Stream account for a week?” 

Star Stream is Kim Dokja’s favorite online reading site and Han Sooyoung just happened to have a VIP account on it. The monthly subscription fee was more than what he could afford so he had always been begging her to lend him the account. 

“Deal. Remember to keep you word.” 

Kim Dokja stood up and quickly walked toward Yoo Joonghyuk’s desk. He missed the knowing look and calculating smile Han Sooyoung had on her face whenever she was messing with someone.

“Joonghyuk-ah.” 

He gently grabbed the other boy’s shoulders and shook them. 

“Hm? Dokja-ah? What?” 

Yoo Joonghyuk slowly looked up to him, his eyes still not fully opened.

“I love you.” 

It was supposed to be a joke, but why did he feel all warm and fuzzy just by saying it? 

“I love you too.” 

The boy, with a small smile on his face, said it in a mellow tone. The usual glare were nowhere to be found as it was replaced by a soft gaze. Since he just woke up from the sleep, his expressions were totally relaxed, unlike the sharp look he liked to show around. Kim Dokja didn’t know that an undefended Yoo Joonghyuk could look that… cute. Was he supposed to feel this frustrated after seeing a friend’s smile? 

Completely oblivious to Kim Dokja’s existential crisis, Yoo Joonghyuk went back to sleep, leaving a flustered mess of boiling red squid behind. On the other side of the classroom, Han Sooyoung whispered into Yoo Sangah’s ears: 

“See, I told you. They are idiots.”

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

Honestly i have so much sympathy for Ailette and the way she mischaracterises Tesilid.

like i myself also fixate on certain parts of the story and extrapolate maybe a bit too much - although in my defence i've only read like half the story.

-but the same can kind of be said of Ailette? This Tesilid is having a new, currently-being-written chapter of his life. In fact she kind of has things even worse, because her characterisation of Tesilid is based off OG!Tesilid, but current Tesilid had his life and outlook irreversibly changed when they met aged 10. But they never really interacted enough afterwards for Ailette to realise just how much of an impact she made on him. She hasn't really had a strong reason to rethink her characterisation of him. Not to mention that she first read the book with her middle school reading comprehension, which. Probably coloured her interpretation for the worse, at least a little.

I really wish Ailette would go into more detail about her own experience as a reader, to really see better how she's viewing this world and its people.

Which paragraphs are the ones that she thinks defines Tesilid's character? (Mine is "I'm praying that they'll all fail the test and go home".)

Which are the ones that made her cry? (Mine's "Right... you're on the side of this world.")

Which are her favourite silly Tesilid moments that make her so fond of teasing Tesilid? (iliac bones)

Which are the ones that reverberate in her head and which won't leave her alone? (Mine is "Please... show me some of that petty mercy too.")

I feel like the fun part of these kinds of isekai story is that. Whatever reaction you had towards Tesilid, be it "wow what a cute kid" or "i'm going to cry, i need to wrap him in a blanket where the world can't hurt him anymore" or "actually he should just destroy the world tbh i would support him", she's been there first and has been doing for at least 10 years, she's the OG. And she's super intense about it too. Like she can say "I need to save him because the story dictates it" all she wants, but the way she reacts so intensely and immediately to Tesilid in danger really speaks volumes of how much emotional investment she has in this guy. Like idk if she really rotates him in her head as much as I do - that might be a me problem - but if you rotate a character in your head enough times while fixating on certain moments and not others, you probably would end up with a biased interpretation of the character. Especially if you don't have someone else to bounce ideas off. And this gets worse if you're actually living in the character's world, because characters in stories serve certain narrative functions, so all their actions which get included in the narration are inherently biased towards portraying them in a certain way that serves said narrative function. But humans are a lot messier and more dynamic.

i just. shakes her up and down. love the concept of an isekai protagonist and the OG protagonist that they love so much.

anyway this whole post is a testament to how much Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint changed the way I interpret fiction and especially isekai stories. Not me anthromorphozing Ailette as if she's really a person and fellow fan who exists and isn't a character lmaoo, i'm definitely not having a "we're all fragments of kim dokja" moment, no sir. i definitely didn't subconsciously draw connections between ORV's isekai'd MC and myself and S-Class Heroine's isekai'd MC and our commonalities as readers who rotate the same story in their heads very many times, and suddenly make a realisation that's actually more relevant to ORV than the actual story that prompted all this. one whole year after i last read ORV, because ORV's story is So Much and so monumental that i'm still haunted by it and figuring it out and it lowkey never left my mind, even after a whole year. (please read orv.) like there are a lot of otome isekai stories about isekai'd MCs realising that the people in their lives don't line up with the OG characters, but none of these stories ever made me viscerally realise what it was probably like for kim dokja, because none of them had isekai'd MCs be that unironically obsessed with their OG protags, and more importantly none of them made me constantly rotate the OG protagonist in my head the way S-Class Heroine does. Han Sooyoung was right, you get as much out of a story as you put in to reading it and re-reading it and re-interpreting it. By putting so much time into S-Class Heroine I accidentally made some relevations about the other story that I was always trying to figure out at the back of my mind. Holy shit.

[d10nsaint]

𝐃𝐮𝐯𝐞𝐭

Kim Dokja x reader x Yoo Jonghyuk <3

A/n: i was 1/3 done and i tried to save just incase.(The entire thing deleted) Although im glad it didnt happen when i was trying to post it.lol.

>Parent Yjh.

>If you or Kdj get sick, he would be like "well, you didnt eat your veggies like i told you to."

>If there was some way in heaven that you found out about Dokja's 'love' of garter belts..he'd get teased endlessly. 10x worse if you found out about the chinese dress. (You wore the combonation to tease him.He ripped it lol)

>Trying to go out with Yjh (In a non- regressor/Novel world) Would be a hassle.With Kdj's work hours and how all Yjh does is play video games all day, Going outside is a hassle.

>Back to our current world:If you found out how to date them both around chapter 108 in the manhwa (Basically where Kdj has both kids and Yjh has his student) I feel like you would be a mother figure for all 3? but Yjh would kill you if anybody found out he was dating you both.Most likely because he's constantly saying how he would kill Djk, He didnt want to be anything more than a 'Life and Death companion.'

>And, if you were found to be dating the 'King of a Kingless world' and the 'Supreme King' lots of people would be on your back..trying to kill you.

> When "Demon Like Judge of Fire' (Uriel, if i remember correctly!) sees you three together doing anything slightly domestic, she gives you coins.Bonus if you kiss them both or say you love them.

>Of course, you three cant do things like that often; and Yjh and Kdj are very..akaward when it comes to being in a calm relationship. Even though Yjh had a lover and a child, expressing his feelings isnt something he does.

>Also why would you kiss them after killing a 3rd grade monster

>Sometimes, Yjh dissapears.

>like.Just goes away.And when he comes back, he's so silent, he scares you.

>Han Sooyoung saw you tending to Jonghyuks wound and she was like "Wow, you and Dokja are such housewives.Jonghyuk, if i was you and had such loyal friends, i would marry them both." She was being sarcastic. Yjk didnt catch on and said "I need to wait for the right time."

>She was stunned.And you were just there.Then Dokja walked in the tent and asked what was wrong.Made it 2000x worse.

>Nononono but imagine being a secluded area; maybe behind some kind of wall when you three went on some kind of raid..and then Dokja goes "Y'know, we dont get time alone like this very often.Shouldnt we make the most of it?"

[Constellation 'Demon-Like Judge of Fire squeals and bangs her head on a table.]

[10,000 coins have been gifted.]

[All the other constellations have asked to view a different incarnation to give you three 'alone time.']

>MATCHING COATS.

>So, we found out that the coats that Yjh and Djk wear have different colors besides black and white (When Djk got one, he was told that all other colors were sold out.) Imagine wearing a coat like theirs in another color that matches your outfit...

>Gilyoung asked, "why are you so close to Hyung?Are you going to marry him?" "Not yet."you said and walked away.He was like "oh..?" Then told the rest of the company lololololol.You had to tell him that you werent just going to marry Dokja, but also Jonghyuk.He also told the rest of the company after that.And that kids, is how the company found out about you dating both Dokja and Jonghyuk.

> @kitcat-br and @melkxsh

[ravs6709]

Ignorance (It's Bliss, Isn't It)- JHW & KDJ

Word count: 0.7k words

Or read on ao3 here!

wanted to write a bit about 49!kdj but from someone else's perspective and just thinking about jhw (love of my life <3) took me out so here i am. this little fic has been rotating in my head for too long but now that im done exams i immediately threw myself into this

enjoy!!!

warnings: nothing much i think, but typical orv warnings ig

•~•~•~•~•~•

It didn’t take long for Jung Heewon to figure out that there was slightly off with Kim Dokja. There had been no defining moment, nothing that had made her brain go hah! That’s an imposter! because she honestly didn’t even know what was off with him. But small details added up: a sudden tolerance for tomatoes, the slight increase in affection towards his companions—not blatant, but less calculated, less reserved—and he was also a little quieter.

It was hard to say that any of those things on their own inherently meant anything. He could’ve just grown used to tomatoes. She didn’t know the extent of his dislike, maybe he didn’t like the way that they were cooked in the past. He was quieter than usual, but she knew that he wasn’t good at making conversation in the first place. Kim Dokja was a man of false bravado, constantly keeping up a front of appearing confident because he had known the future and had been scheming his way to this epilogue that they had painstakingly created. Jung Heewon didn’t know much about that Ways of Survival novel he had read, she wasn’t even the biggest fan of books, but even she could tell how much it had meant to him. That novel probably made up a lot of who he was, so wasn’t it expected for him to be lost when not only had the events changed, but their life had surpassed that novel now?

And as for the slight increase in affection… wasn’t that a good thing? Hadn’t she and all her companions worked so hard, hadn’t they all carved out their hearts from their chests with their swords, grasping their hearts with trembling hands as they smeared it across the invisible wall that separated him and them? Blood, sweat and tears, they kept smearing it, hoping that one day he’d look and see just how much they loved him? Wasn’t this what they were working towards? Getting him to accept it, getting him to stay? Getting him to stay long enough that he could take the kids out on outings to wherever they wanted to, to live out the lives that had been stolen away from them all?

Then why? Why did all of these things leave her so tense, why did they leave her feeling like she had left something so precious behind? That she’d forgotten something?

He was acting off, but he wasn't acting like a completely different person either. It wasn't some imposter impersonating Kim Dokja, because Jung Heewon had been a witness to the various conversations he had with the other companions. He remembered what he had promised Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung, he remembered being teased for being an "ugly squid", and still called Yoo Joonghyuk a "sunfish bastard" (whatever that meant). He remembered all these things. This was definitely, undeniably, Kim Dokja.

So wasn't that enough? Wasn't it enough that he was the same person that she knew? The Kim Dokja obsessed with Ways of Survival, the Kim Dokja reading that story, she had never known him. Was it even possible to miss a person whom you had never known? Was it possible to love them?

It was easier to ignore all those minor details, it was easier to put it all aside because this was her Kim Dokja.

(That can't be right. There was some amount of ignorance she was putting into this. And ignorance had never been a good thing, ignorance had caused so many problems, not by starting it, but had allowed the problem to fester, growing into something uncontrollable. And she'd always hated that; ignorance would never allow for justice, so how could it ever be a good thing?)

Jung Heewon hated this. She hated feeling like this, hated when Kim Dokja kept doing things to make her feel like this. Hated feeling like she couldn’t do the one thing she wanted most—to save Kim Dokja, even though he was right here. Hated this one-step-forward-two-steps-back cycle she seemed to be trapped in.

This epilogue was enough. The Kim Dokja she had with her was enough.

If it wasn’t—

It had to be.

•~•~•~•~•~•

orv taglist: @subrosasteath

want to be added/removed from the taglist? just let me know!

[kdj-225]

Hii! I love all of your threadfics and how you write the orv characters, i feel very happy when you update or publish something new. I wanted to ask if maybe you could write something between lsk and kdj that takes place when he is a child, in the years before all the tragedy occured that features omurice and how kdj came to find comfort in the dish

[!!!! 🥺😭 wahh i'm so happy and honored to know that you like my works!! thank you so much!!! 💖💕💕 it means a lot to me that you like the characterization in particular, since that's something I like to put a lot of thought into!! thank you so much for the prompt too—i enjoyed writing for it since it's something different from my usual! i hope you enjoy it!! (even if there's some emotional pain in there given KDJ's canon past) 😭💔]

cw: implied off-screen abuse (as based on canon novel events)

-----

※DO NOT REPOST / HOST MY WORK ON OTHER APPS OR SITES

When Kim Dokja wakes up to silence in the morning, he finds himself feeling cautious.

Silence could mean two things, depending on who’s at home. Silence because his father is hungover, only a trigger away from lashing out, or silence because it’s only him and his mother at home.

Creeping out of his bedroom to the kitchen, he finds that it’s the latter. It’s only his mother at home today, her back looking wide and reliable as he peeks up at her from behind the counter. Tall, expression solemn…

He wonders if they could ever have a life where she can smile freely.

Maybe in another life, he could be braver for her. He could be like those protagonists who could talk back against their parents, even at the cost of being disrespectful. He could tell his father that he’s terrible, that he should stop being the way he is…maybe there could be a life like that. In an alternate universe, or maybe if he were able to turn back time…there are stories like that, aren’t there? Stories of alternate universes, reincarnation, transmigration. Stories that give people second chances.

“Dokja-yah?”

He blinks when he hears the call of his name. “Eomma,” he greets back. He smiles when he sees her smile, the expression far too easy to mirror coming from the parent he loves more. “What’re you making?”

She hums. “Your favorite, of course.”

He brightens up at those words, excitement bubbling to the surface. It isn’t often that his mother cooks his favorite food, regardless of how much he asks. “Omurice?”

“Yes. Could Dokja prepare the plates, please?”

“Yes!”

Obediently, he sets out the plates and utensils on their dining table. The sound of his mother’s humming ensures that the smile on his face doesn’t fade—right here, in this moment, she’s happy enough to sing under her breath. It makes the past days with his father feel like a dream, a nightmare meant to fade to the back of their minds as if it were nothing.

Wouldn’t it be nice, if his father were a good person? A better person, someone who could actually suit the name “father”?

“Dokja-yah, where are you?”

He looks up at the sound of his mother’s voice, and steps back when he finds her peering down at him with a concerned gaze. “Uh,” he stutters, “where..?”

She raises a brow at him, and he feels ashamed. He can’t tell her that he was thinking about how nice it would be if he could replace his own father—as if he even had any power to do such a thing.

“To which story did your mind go to today, Dokja-yah?”

“...the one about traveling to another universe. With the robots,” he lies.

“Our Dokja is traveling far today,” she teases, putting out his portion of omurice on the dining table. “You’re not feeling sad that you finished it anymore?”

He shakes his head. “I read it again, like you told me to.”

“What was different, this time?”

“Well…”

Like always, he talks to her about the story they’ve already read over once. Like always, she listens to him—even when she already knows the story on her own, even when she’d already read it with him, and even when it’s nothing new for her.

(“Because Dokja’s reading of it makes it new, for me,” she’d said once, even if he doesn’t understand what that means until now.)

“...Dokja-yah?”

He finishes chewing on his spoonful of food before he speaks. “Yes, eomma?”

She smiles at him fondly, warmly. He thinks of the mothers in fiction, the way they’re almost always the ones that the protagonist loses first, and finds fire flickering to life in his chest. Even if he’s not strong enough, even if he’s still so young, he’d definitely be the kind of kid who’d protect that smile.

She asks him, “Why did you end up liking omurice the most?”

“Because eomma’s omurice is delicious.”

She blinks at him. He blinks back, confused at the odd reaction.

“Does this mean eomma’s other food isn’t as delicious?”

“It’s all delicious.”

She breathes out; the short exhale sounds like a laugh. “Is that so?”

He smiles, happy at having been able to make her laugh even if he doesn’t understand what’s so funny about what he said. “Yes.”

“Then, why is omurice the best?”

He pauses then. Why does he like omurice the most?

“Because…”

She waits for him. The only person he’s always believed in, even when the other kids in school don’t like him, or ignore him. The one person who’s always, always there for him.

“...when eomma makes omurice, that usually means you’re in a good mood,” he says honestly, looking up into her clear, calm eyes. Because you take your time when you’re cooking it, and when you do that, it means you’re relaxed enough for it. You’re happy.

You being happy makes the food even more delicious, for me.

Her lips tremble for a flash of a second, making him rub at his eyes in surprise. When he looks up at her again, her lips are pulled back into a calm smile that he wonders if he’s just seeing things.

“Dokja-yah.”

He makes a confused noise at the strange tone in her voice. “Eomma?”

She smiles. The look on her face feels sad for some reason, though he must be mistaken. How can a smile feel sad?

She tells him, hand reaching out to pat him on the head,

“You really are a good kid.”

He smiles, even if he doesn’t understand the reason for her suddenly praising him. Her hand feels warm on his head, gentle, and he nuzzles into the touch like the good kid she’d just praised him as being—mindlessly, without complaint, accepting her warmth without question.

He smiles, and doesn’t say,

Is being a good kid enough, when I could be stronger, or braver for you?

[uriel-is-best-girl]

About Time AU (SPOILERS FOR ABOUT TIME)

So About Time is a really cute magic realism movie in which the protagonist (tim) can go back in time and redo parts of his life. It starts off wtih him going back to redo silly things, like looking cooler in a situation, but then becomes more serious with him learning that he can't go back and smoothly fix everything for his sister and has to let her learn through her own mistakes. Anyway I mostly want to focus on the romance between tim and mary but joongdok. So Yjh as Tim, Han Sooyoung as the drunk author, and Kim Dokja as Mary.

Yoo Joonghyuk can travel back in time in his own life, and fuck it, hes an emotional gamer boy, he wants to not be lonely idk. Whatever, he ends up be dragged to a blind date thing with lee hyunsung who wants to not go alone, and thats where he meets Kim Dokja, and they hit it off stunningly. He talks about his novels and he teases joonghyuk and joonghyuk finds him stupidly endearing.

K this has been in my drafts for months, evidently I dont think im ever going 2 finish this thought process. Essentially, despite time traveling shenanigans, joongdok ends up together and happy, yjh learns to enjoy life unaltered and that he can't fix everything just by using his powers to start over

[the-demon-king-of-salvation]

Information and Rules!

⭐HELLO THERE! Mun use She/Her pronouns most of the time, and I've been in the RPC for a few years! I have ADHD, and a bit of a hard time remembering things. Please do also excuse any spelling and grammar mistakes in our RP threads! My interests are cartoons, anime, video games and a lot more! Right my interests are placed in: Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint!! ⭐

🌞INTERACTIONS🌞

• If I seem to 'ignore' you, I might just be busy or out of the house! On the occasions I don't respond after a few days, please remind me because I might have forgotten!😅

•This is a Multi-fandom blog, so crossovers are welcome and even encouraged! And I will be interacting with different fandoms that interest me for that reason!

•I will be mostly roleplaying as close to canon as I can, but au's are welcome too! I will include AU's and other timelines we could use down below.

•English is not my first language, so I apologise if my wording or way of speaking is a bit too bland.

•There will be no smut on this blog. There might however be other mature content like violence and stuff like that! Though maybe it'll mostly just be mentions of it.

•Feel free to point out any spelling/grammatical mistakes! Sometimes I don't spot them before responding-

•If something I do or say makes you uncomfy, please do tell me!:)

🌗SHIPPING?🌓

•Since Kim Dokja is an Adult, any shippings or pairings with him and another character of age and isnt illegal are welcome!

🌠ABOUT KIM DOKJA🌠

//OOC: I just copy and pasted most stuff from the wiki- ;w;

Kim Dokja is the main protagonist of Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint. He is the sole reader of the webnovel Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World, an apocalyptic fantasy story written by tls123 who read it through the end.

💫KDJ'S APPEARANCE 💫

•Kim Dokja has a thin face and pale skin. His hair is thin and black; he has long eyelashes and dark circles.His countenance is calm and fresh, although somewhat edgy. There is a marked difference in his appearance when he smiles and when he's expressionless. As an adult, he has a slender physique, being rather skinny prior to the beginning of the scenarios, although he has become rather muscular due to raising his Strength stat.He has burn scarring/tanning due to the probability storm he weathered after Gigantomachia.He also has scars on his handsand presumably the rest of his body as well from the numerous fights he has been through. The number 6424 is "stitched" into his left forearm.

•He is often described as looking plain or unappealing by other characters, so much so that he gains the Incarnation modifier "Ugliest King". It is later revealed that his appearance is "censored" for those looking at him. In Dark Castle, Lee Jihye says she cannot remember what he looks like; in the 73rd Demon Realm, when footage of the 73rd Demon King scenario is being shown in the Syswitz Complex, Kim Dokja himself notices that his face is distorted onscreen.

•Kim Dokja is fairly expressive and has distinct mannerisms, though he may not realize it himself. He tilts his head slightly when worrying about the kids. When he thinks about his mother, his eyes close and his eyelids twitch slightly. He smiles mischievously and arches his eyebrows when he's teasing (generally towards Han Sooyoung). He gets a glint in his eyes when he thinks about his most loved stories. According to Shin Yoosung, his nostrils flare when he lies. He has a distinctive smile, sometimes described as "unlucky" by his party members and unique enough in nature that people recognize him by it.

• Kim Dokja's usual clothing contain a black collared button up shirt, black pnts, black dress shoes, and a special white trench coat.

🌃KIM DOKJA'S PERSONALITY🌃

•Kim Dokja is, at his core, a dedicated and loving man. He devotes himself to those he cares for, going so far as to sacrifice his own life for them; as a result of this devotion, he is careful with whom he grants his deep trust to. He frequently tries to shield his loved ones from danger by taking their struggles onto himself and often becomes extremely self-deprecating when he is unable to push through said struggles alone.

•This self-deprecation is a recurring pattern of behavior. For all that he loves others, he is extremely harsh on himself, being insecure and having very low self-esteem and self-worth. He used to perceive himself as perpetually alone and struggled with recognizing when people genuinely cared for and looked up to him, although he has become better at this since the beginning of ORV. Where he used to repress his emotions (as observed by Jung Heewon in early scenarios), he has also become more emotionally expressive (for instance, crying and yelling without restraint, particularly so during the epilogues). He is usually quite casual when he speaks to others, but when he's shocked or nervous, he has a tendency to speak formally.

•He is somewhat self-conscious about his image and how he's perceived, though less so when he's going by a pseudonym. In early scenarios, he pretended to be ruthless and cold-blooded. As time passes, he tends towards an image of someone who is polite and put-together, and who always has a plan. In fact, he does tend to plan ahead for most situations based on his knowledge of Ways of Survival. However, he often develops tunnel vision, failing to consider outside factors playing into and altering his situation. He is notably bad at improvisation (a fact that becomes more apparent as his timeline diverges more and more from the original Ways of Survival) and takes some time to get back on his feet when faced with setbacks, having minor emotional breakdowns at particularly shocking situations.

Nonetheless, he is immensely dedicated to his goals, seen when he surpasses even death in order to reach the end of the scenarios. This translates into occasional bouts of stubbornness and singlemindedness.

HISTORY

As a child, Kim Dokja loved to read, a habit that was encouraged by his mother.

Later on, Kim Dokja would go on to become the sole reader of all 3,149 chapters of the webnovel "Ways of Survival." The characters in the novel would become sources of comfort for Kim Dokja as he struggled through his unfortunate life, and he would grow alongside Yoo Joonghyuk as the protagonist regressed and struggled towards the end. Kim Dokja undergoes various unfortunate events, including failing his CSAT and ending up at a third-rate university, drawing an unlucky straw and ending up at the front lines during his military service, and landing a low-paying job at Minosoft. Through it all he constantly reads the daily updates of the webnovel, consistently commenting under each chapter and supporting the author while adding his own suggestions.

At one point he discovers "SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor," a novel written by the original younger Han Sooyoung. He comments angrily that it is clearly plagiarized and is shot down for trying to promote the ridiculously unpopular original "Ways of Survival." When he approaches tls123 about this, the author only writes that they are glad they are getting more views, which Kim Dokja finds pitiful.

Eventually, as he finishes the final chapter of "Ways of Survival" on the transit one day after work, the novel becomes reality, beginning the events of Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint.

THE FOURTH WALL

•The Fourth Wall is a skill possessed by Kim Dokja. Its previous identity is the Dokkaebi King of the altered 1863rd round; after overseeing the writing and publishing of Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World by Han Sooyoung, he triggered the start of the scenarios and transformed into the [Fourth Wall] skill to accompany his world's sole reader on his adventures.

•The Fourth Wall is a skill that protects Kim Dokja from any mental, or even physical pain. Allowing him to complete scenarios more easily, and cut off most skills. This wall also allows him to view the world as a novel, which weakens when he meets somebody connected to his "reality."

AS THE FOURTH WALL

In its duty as Kim Dokja's skill, the Fourth Wall has a number of abilities that center around Kim Dokja himself.

Can protect Kim Dokja against mental attacks and skills.

Can offset pain caused by injuries.

Prevents Kim Dokja's Attributes Window from being viewed, even by himself. This is presumably to hide his status as the lone reader of Ways of Survival, signified by the attribute [■■ Apostle].

"Walls off" Kim Dokja's emotions, allowing him to distance himself from events taking place and treat the world as a novel. It can forcibly strengthen itself and numb his emotions, should he get agitated over events such as his mother's life being in danger.

Weakens when Kim Dokja doesn't treat current events as a novel. For instance, it shakes when he meets individuals who he had a long history/deep connection with prior to the start of the scenarios, such as Lee Sookyung.

Can narrate Kim Dokja's thoughts and actions in narrative form. This can assist in upholding his "story", such as when he is banished outside the scenarios and his body begins to decay due to being outside a relevant narrative.

Can "eat" or absorb individuals, breaking them down to their Stories and then eating these Stories. When eaten, these individuals find themselves within the Fourth Wall's Library, and should the Fourth Wall find them worthy, they become Librarians, looking after the books and on occasion speaking to Kim Dokja. So far, the Wall has eaten Nirvana Moebius, Simulation (master of the Theatre Dungeon), and the Eater of Dreams. It also previously ate Lee Sookyung (but released her almost immediately at Kim Dokja's request) and Yoo Sangah (in order to preserve her rapidly scattering Story core). She worked as a Librarian for a short while before being released to a new form.

ASK THE FOURTH WALL ANYTHING! IT WILL DECIDE IF IT WILL LET YOUR ASK REACH KIM DOKJA.

✨AU'S AND TIMELINES WE CAN USE✨

• Post-Epilogue AU- A slightly-more-intact fragment of Kim Dokja's soul ends up in the rp-er's dimension/timeline. Tag: #PE-AU

•In the middle of scenarios AU- Due to a scenario, Kim Dokja is transported somewhere where they meet the rp-er's muse

Tag: #ITMOS-AU

•(SPOILERS FOR ORV!) Train AU- The Oldest Dream's train passes through universes and stops at rp-er's muse's dimesion. The rp-er'ss muse finds said train and enters its, finding a sleeping child.

Tag: OD- AU

• Past Timeline- The rp-er's muse meets younger Kim Dokja, depends on rp-er on if they want child KDJ, middle schooler KDJ, etc.

Tag: PT-AU

[istherewifiinhell]

reading process: chapter 177 (I have been putting off this post cause i can tell im in the good shit and its all so thematic and delightful but if i dont make it now i never will and it will be a super segment next time)

Reading highlights (i cant read my own writing edition!)

157 now in a dad spotting mood. kdj encouraging sys about her grades

yoo mia(!!!) teasing yjh about kdj. yjh facial expression truther (looking happy when speaking about kdj)

the 3 fates use big data?

kdj WILL be killed by the person he loves most!!! (mostly wrote that down to indicate my gleeful cackling)

158 LGY baby boy baby. kids and breaks!

Kdj and Jhw are such bitches to each other i love them

reinheit.... von lohengramm yeah okay got it buddy

oh ur 800 years old it would be some bullshit like that

rvd is sooo handsome. at least 2 yjh

a permanent institution cannot exist. yes kdj i love u kdj

161 kdj doesnt date. fateful meetings ONLY. okayyyyy

jhw emotional sword moments. kdj famed peptalks

LGY: dad ABANDONED US LJH: uh. okay -> sibling mischief ensues

162 ACAB

Hankim girls trip weekend

(this note is atemporally placed) KIM DOKJA LOVE

164 the absolute good constellations are cowards

kdj peptalks Always come in clutch

165 oh to be carried by ysh as she descends like a beautiful woman

167 The kids!!! stay strong!

breaking the sky sword this was the road of the sword that broke the sky -> kuzcos poison

168 crying at this wounded monster and also themes and metaphors

yjh and kdj are the same with there cryptic plans (this was nearly illegible)

168 kdj moral rethinking disease (yjh has it)

AH! AH! Double identity stuff. name sharing. doing something nice for the guy that has scrambled your brains.

169 jhw describing ysh beauty -> smth you would like to share ma'am?

lgy the good child he is being like. hey. non het romance love exists. hell yeah little dude. poggers as they say

-> (crying because he cant think of a reason kdj should love him) NOOO his emotions are too big for his little body

yjh: i do not want to find out the answer to this question GOODBYE

ah. the speed run dress. i see

170 if you read it again. it will definitely be a different story. god. okay. okay. jesus. okay

hsy power: you cannot create the semblance of a human without it in some way. being human

ah. his mom again. it just could be that way

"its the most complicated relationship in the world" cheers bitch

172 just rolling in kdj and his mom fight

i could have sworn you used up that sky disk 100 chs ago but whatever

173 Gasp. garlic eating

"i let u die to save ur dick bro!!!"

20 years. jesus

OH FUCK MEET THE PARENT TIME. oh my god

yjh: kdj will be my compainion mom: arent you like a horrible person? Yjh: why is your family like this

double whose gonna kill our guy twist

175 yjh: i guess you mother doesnt like me. -> is that a JOKE. are you cracking a (gay tinged) joke to cope buddy?

176 "It was a distance that could be crossed, but I could never reach her. It was the same in prison and even now. this had become our distance"

guh. hes gonna listen. even if it hurts. even if it changes him

IM GOING TO ATTACK AND DETHRONE GOD

dohyuk moments against a backdrop of cthulu ass boss fight

kdj can look cool as hell when he wants to i guess damn

Cheok Jungyeong: Solidarity Forever 🎶

"i wont let you die" AHHHHHHHHH

rotating: oh god i specifically was trying to group this segment for parental vibes and themes and now my brain is mush. i need a second notebook maybe... (rereading a bit) okay something like. obviously. goes without saying. kdj is the most unreliable narrator in the world. and clearly there is more to the story, she was literally about to say it before... god stuff. but ill just note out the things i was grabbing so far. the question of how to raise a child in the apocalypse. clear with lgy and sys (like extra extremely so). and lesser with ljh. often kinda. throwing them into the fire. (or a hole. with no explanation. thanks yjh). but also supporting them (literally the incarnation stuff. cant remember where line about 'one persons gaze can mean live or death' but yes. yeah). contrast. kdj mom with the childhood environment and the tone. i think its like. kdj is almost mad about the wrong thing. but its the hurt he has. not the one he may about to have. even if hes wrong about what his mother did (i literally dont know!!) well. it has to be said.

oh also the mother constellation! theres a fun parallel there. i mean. this is of course the novel of fun parallels but still. its um. weird ctuhul twitch stream version of making a deal with the devil (in the pale moonlight -> star trek ep that also has a guy get a guy to kill someone for the good of a state. huh)

also there was dokkaebi preschool. that just seems worth mentioning. and even dokkaebi egg sys

[ksalientian]

02. [orv][sl] jindok

text version of two twitter posts. jinwoo/dokja. inspired by shweezyliz 😊

.

He'd seen something strange, in the barren gap between dimensions. Something that shouldn't have been there, but had somehow come close enough to the void that Jinwoo could see it as though he was looking through a film: a train, winding endlessly among the stars, and on that train was a person. More accurately, a child.

It wasn't that Jinwoo didn't already have his hands full trying to save his own world. It was just— the kid had looked so sad, and he was just a kid, right? Jinwoo couldn't have just left him there. 

And, he admitted, he had been curious. There had never been anything new in the gap until the sudden appearance of this train. Jinwoo had to know.

So it was that two years after his disappearance, Jinwoo returned to Earth plus one kid (who was not a kid at all, he had been informed, but an adult who had clearly eaten the same wrong food that Jinwoo himself ate before deciding to become the most unsung hero in history) and minus an all-important bottom line. But that was Kim Dokja's problem.

"Dokja-hyung," said Jinwoo, resting his chin on top of Dokja's head. Even returned to his teenage self, he was still significantly taller than Dokja, whose teenage body was so skinny and pale it made Jinwoo worry. "Why are you so bad at this?"

Dokja squirmed under Jinwoo's weight, but ultimately gave up. His pencil continued scratching in the English workbook. "I was an average student," he said, very politely, "and I didn't spend all my time on the train studying."

"I didn’t spend all my time studying either," Jinwoo pointed out.

Dokja refused to entertain Jinwoo's eminently valid point, and continued to focus on his homework like he was an actual student. Jinwoo regretted setting Dokka up with a proper high school identity instead of throwing him to the GED sharks like Jinwoo himself. 

"Igrit," Jinwoo sighed.

[Yes, my liege.]

"Can you help Dokja with his homework?"

"It's fine, I don't need help," began Dokja, before Igrit said anything, but Jinwoo wrapped his arms around Dokja's waist and squeezed him until he stopped. 

"But I just want to help you," said Jinwoo, seriously. Dokja's ears flushed red. 

In the shadows, his subjects were cheering him on louder than they'd ever cheered him on before. Jinwoo felt a burst of gratitude that Dokja couldn't hear them. They were happy for him, he knew— happy that after losing Haein to sealed memories and his own mismatched mental age, Jinwoo could still find someone to share a life with.

It was too early to bring that up now, though.

He put his head on Dokja's shoulder instead, listening to his shallow breathing. "Can't I?" Jinwoo asked.

After a long silence, during which Beru had to be bodily restrained to stay in the shadows, Dokja gave him the slightest nod. "If you want," he said, quiet as a mouse, and Jinwoo's lips curled in satisfaction.

.

In the mornings, Jinwoo goes next door to make breakfast so that Dokja will eat something instead of subsisting on air for the whole day ("It's just that I didn’t need to eat on the train," he will say, placatingly, trying to avoid Jinwoo's gimlet stare, but Jinwoo has built up an immunity to Dokja's sad eyes now and refuses to let it slide). No matter what he cooks, Dokja eats like a bird; Jinwoo is still searching for the perfect meal.

This morning, because he's feeling particularly energetic, he's taking the time to steam fresh dumplings in the tiny one-person steamer that Dokja had bought and then never used.

[My liege,] says Beru, hesitantly.

"What?" Jinwoo puts the last of the dumplings in the steamer and closes it triumphantly, running a hand through his sweaty fringe.

[Sir Dokja has awakened, but he seems… not in the best of moods.]

Jinwoo opens the fridge, narrows his eyes at its sad contents, picks out a lone ginger root from the vegetable drawer. "He gets moods sometimes, you know that. Just let him come to me."

[As you command.]

It doesn't take long before Dokja finds his way to the kitchen and stops at the entranceway, rubbing his feet together. Jinwoo, still holding the knife he's using to julienne the ginger, turns and waves at him.

"You look like a serial killer," says Dokja, a little absent-mindedly.

"I could be," Jinwoo replies, smiling. Dokja doesn't seem to think the millions of dead in his shadow count as his victims, but Dokja has a weird morality scale that Jinwoo won't pretend to understand.

At first Jinwoo thinks Dokja is just sleepy, but even when the dumplings are done and plated Dokja is staring at nothing, the oddest expression on his face. It takes Jinwoo a moment to place it, but when he recognises it he's immediately disconcerted— it's eerily reminiscent of the way Dokja had looked on the train, back when he was still trapped on it and Jinwoo was still fighting the unending war in between worlds.

"Hyung," Jinwoo says, not quite as sharply as he means to. He makes a gesture to Igrit, who shifts away to guard the perimeter. "What are you thinking?"

For a long moment, Dokja doesn't answer him, only his eyes moving to stare at Jinwoo instead of the middle distance. Jinwoo lets him stare, and he looks his fill too. 

Dokja is very different from Haein. Haein is the type of woman who looks strong from the get-go: beautiful but still perfectly capable of kicking a man in the groin and walking away without a hair out of place. She had woken up like that too, Jinwoo remembers fondly— even with sleep clouding her eyes and no makeup on, she had looked like a dream. A just-awakened Dokja is all messy hair and wrinkles from the pillow, darkness under his eyes and skin dry as a desert. Tired and somewhat fragile. He doesn't look like the kind of person one would trust to carry an entire world on his back. 

But then, Jinwoo hadn't looked like that in the beginning either.

"You remind me of him, sometimes," Dokja says at last, breaking the silence.

"Him?" Jinwoo doesn't know his name, but he knows instinctively who Dokja is talking about. He must be Dokja's Haein.

"Someone I liked to watch over," Dokja answers. Then he smiles wryly. "The protagonist of the world I came from."

"Tell me I'm more handsome," Jinwoo says, lightly, ignoring the immediate shouts of praise from Beru. "Or I'll get jealous." Jinwoo receives a proper smile at that, and his heart settles. 

"On the Yoo Joonghyuk beauty scale, I'm afraid you can't even slap his face once," Dokja tells him, a thread of melancholy hidden in his teasing voice. "But you're definitely taller, at least—"

"I'm jealous," Jinwoo interrupts, and rounds the table to drape himself on Dokja's body. "Hyung is so mean. Isn't this the part where you say I'm the most handsome in your eyes?" Jinwoo can feel Dokja's heart beating where his lips are pressed to warm skin. It's not quite a kiss— they aren't quite there yet— but maybe, after today, they can be.

Yoo Joonghyuk. Jinwoo rolls the name in his mind and remembers it well.

[directorofnight]

9. [ORV] Yoo Joonghyuk x Lee Seolwa

His consciousness wasn't completely with him, but he could feel that at least half of the wound had been cleaned. He groaned as the white-haired woman in front of him pressed the wound in his stomach.

Lee Seolwa look away. "Ah, sorry... But hold on a bit, I'll increase the anesthetic dose."

Yoo Joonghyuk only replied with a small hum. No matter how many times he saw Lee Seolwa in this round, he still felt something squirming in his chest. This woman no longer belongs to him, but sometimes he just forget that and reflexively gives too much 'attention' which he doesn't usually show to anyone.

Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja teased him about it several times. And asked if they would have children together again. And every time Yoo Joonghyuk would hide his shyness and reply by saying 'you want to die?' in a cold tone.

Lee Seolwa stitched up the wound carefully, every time the her skin touch him, Yoo Joonghyuk subconsciously held his breath. It really made him feel crazy. He really should be grateful As Lee Seolwa cut the sewing thread and smiled while saying, "done."

Yoo Joonghyuk chose to remain silent as he usually does. “Umm, Joonghyuk-ssi, is there something you want to eat?”

Yoo Joonghyuk was silent for a while before replying, "your cooking."

"um?"

"Forget it, I just want to sleep." He felt stupid, what exactly was he trying to do? This woman wasn't his wife, Not anymore.

But Lee Seolwa smiled, "I'll be back in 20 minutes with something simple. My cooking may not be as good as Joonghyuk-ssi, but Sangah-Ssi and Heewon-Ssi quite enjoy it." Lee Seolwa scratched the nape of her neck.

"okay." Yoo Joonghyuk cursed himself, he should have said something better like 'thank you' or 'I will eat whatever you cook' he is too bad at expressing him self.

Lee Seolwa tidied up her medicine box and walked out. Leaving Yoo Joonghyuk waiting impatiently with an idiotic face.

[generallypo]

in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(

incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh. 

------

anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit

i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding! 

*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.

like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes.. 

but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way. 

it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ. 

so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically. 

it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that. 

and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.

(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)

but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you. 

yeah fucking right.

------

and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?

and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him. 

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]] 

that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself. 

by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?

------

and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.

anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise. 

and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.

however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines. 

at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.

------

now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.

i’ll take it.

to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios  and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.

it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.

so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out.  i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah. 

------

(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)

------

and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!

[luxaofhesperides]

my body slaughterhouse

In the quiet moments in-between everything, Yoo Joonghyuk looks to Kim Dokja. Or: Yoo Joonghyuk just wants to care for Kim Dokja if only he'd stay still for a goddamn second.

joongdok, 2.7k; an orv fic about gentleness.

also on ao3, with author’s notes if you want to read that sort of thing.

. . .

Yoo Joonghyuk is not used to being soft. His hands are made for breaking things, not saving them; he has never been able to save anyone, including himself. The lives he’s lived, going back to that fateful day the world ended, have made him cold and cruel. There is a distance between him and the rest of the world that no one can cross.

He walks this world alone. He knows better than to expect anyone to keep up with him.

He knows better than to get attached.

But Kim Dokja, impossible and unpredictable, forced his way into Yoo Joonghyuk’s life and declared them companions. And suddenly Yoo Joonghyuk is not the one walking ahead of everyone else, alone; now, he chases after Kim Dokja, time after time, reaching for him, always a step behind.

Kim Dokja is here, in this regression, and that is all that matters.

 It’s quiet, tonight. There is no terrible tragedy hanging over their heads, or an enemy lying in wait for them. Tonight, they can rest.

Compared to his past regressions, everyone is lighter. They are not the same as they were before, at the beginning. No one is. But that heaviness they carried, that burden that slowly dragged them down, it’s not here.

Shin Yoosung smiles as she talks to Kim Dokja. Lee Gilyoung is relaxed on the ground, leaning back against Kim Dokja. They’re just kids, thrown headfirst into the scenarios, and Kim Dokja saved them, like he saved everyone else here. It’s no wonder they’re so attached.

Yoo Joonghyuk is too, even if he can’t bring himself to say it.

The others chat quietly in between eating. Something warms in Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest as he watches everyone enjoy his cooking. Kim Dokja too was taking time to savor his food. He was glad; he had put the best pieces on Kim Dokja’s plate.

It’s hard showing care, when he’s so used to everyone he cares for dying. It’s hard to show care when he’s the only one left in the end, and nothing he does can save them.

Kim Dokja meets his eyes; Yoo Joonghyuk had been staring for too long.

-Do you have something to say?  he asks through Midday Tryst.

-No. Go back to eating.

Kim Dokja doesn’t look like he believes him, but that doesn’t surprise him. Out of everyone, Kim Dokja knows Yoo Joonghyuk best. It still stuns him, the lengths he’ll go to ensure Yoo Joonghyuk survives.

It’s not just the world Kim Dokja intends to save, but Yoo Joonghyuk also.

So used to being to one in control, leading others and taking charge in the scenarios, it’s strange to be on the other side of that. To follow after someone else, to have faith in them to get through anything. To be willing to die to see their goals come to being.

Kim Dokja is the only one Yoo Joonghyuk would feel this way for. No one else compares.

Under his gaze, Kim Dokja flushes and ducks his head. He urges the kids to eat and does not look at Yoo Joonghyuk again.

That’s fine. Yoo Joonghyuk is satisfied with keeping Kim Dokja fed. It’s the least he can do for someone who died for him time and time again.

  “Why aren’t you sleeping,” Yoo Joonghyuk says. It’s more an accusation than a question, and perhaps that’s what makes Kim Dokja glare at him. Yoo Joonghyuk glances down at the phone Kim Dokja was so focused on, looks at its blank screen, and irritation quickly fills him.

“I wasn’t aware I had a bedtime,” Kim Dokja says, staring up at him defiantly. The circles under his eyes are dark, and will likely get even darker. For someone who always saves him, he doesn’t care for himself at all. It irks Yoo Joonghyuk.

“How do you expect to fight well if you’re too tired to function?”

“I’ll be just fine. It’s not like I need a lot of sleep in the first place.”

Yoo Joonghyuk is familiar with the urge to punch him, but it’s particularly strong at that moment. “Don’t be stupid,” he growls instead, “You’re no good to anyone when you’re exhausted. Go to sleep.”

Kim Dokja rolls his eyes. “Honestly, Yoo Joonghyuk, you’re worried over nothing. I’ve gone without sleep before, I can do it again.”

That such an infuriating man could give hope to so many others baffles him. That such an infuriating man is someone Yoo Joonghyuk is willing to die for is even more ridiculous. But this stubbornness is exactly why they’re all here today. He’s not as mad as he wants to be; he never is when it comes to Kim Dokja.

“Come,” he says, grabbing Kim Dokja’s arm, “I will make sure you sleep.”

“Yoo Joonghyuk!” He tries to pull away, but all that does is make Yoo Joonghyuk tighten his grip. “This is ridiculous! Let me go!”

He doesn’t bother answering. Instead, he drags Kim Dokja to his room and all but throws him on the bed. Kim Dokja sits up and stares at him.

“What has gotten into you lately?”

Yoo Joonghyuk considers. He wants to take care of Kim Dokja. Repay him for everything he’s doing for him, for all of them. He wants Kim Dokja to care a little more about himself, but until then, Yoo Joonghyuk is content with doing it for him. He wants to be gentle to the man who saved him, reminded him of the value of life, gave him a reason to continue on. He wants to hold Kim Dokja close so that he doesn’t die again, wants to protect him because one of these days his death will be permanent and that is the one thing Yoo Joonghyuk absolutely cannot survive.

He doesn’t know how to say all this. It gets caught in his throat, his chest. So he says nothing.

“Yoo Joonghyuk?”

Kim Dokja looks confused. Lost. There’s red in his cheeks and a tremble in his hands. It makes Yoo Joonghyuk’s heart ache.

He walks to the bed and guides Kim Dokja away from the edge. Kim Dokja lets him, watching his movement with wide eyes.

Yoo Joonghyuk climbs onto the bed, sits against the headboard, and pulls Kim Dokja to rest against his side.

“Yoo Joonghyuk?” he asks again, voice quieter, softer. Pressed against his side, with Yoo Joonghyuk’s arm around his shoulders, Kim Dokja feels vulnerable. Soft, like he might break at any moment.

Everything he feels tangles into a knot in his throat. What he wants to say won’t come out. Instead, he says, “I will stay and make sure you sleep.”

Kim Dokja stares at him for a long moment, then slowly, tentatively, relaxes against him. It feels like a testing of waters, a careful surrender.

It’s something Yoo Joonghyuk has noticed bust hasn’t given much thought. Kim Dokja doesn’t touch others easily. If he does, it’s quick and easy to miss. A hand on a shoulder, a pat on the back, here for a moment then gone in the next. He keeps a physical distance between others, save for the kids, and Yoo Joonghyuk has to wonder, has anyone really touched Kim Dokja? Held him as Yoo Joonghyuk does now, let him know the warmth of others, how grounding the weight of another can be?

This is not a question he will ever have answers to. But he does know that he is holding Kim Dokja, can feel the weight of him on his chest, not an unpleasant weight but a comforting one.

Kim Dokja turns his face into Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest. When he speaks, his voice is muffled. “If you plan to sleep here, then don’t sleep sitting up. I don’t want to hear you complaining about a sore neck tomorrow.”

He doesn’t know how much time passes, but Kim Dokja falls asleep, relaxing completely as his breath evens out. In sleep, his face is much softer. He looks younger when he’s not planning how to save everyone but himself.

The sight brings back that ache in his chest, which hurts in the most pleasant ways. How lucky he is, to have Kim Dokja in this regression. As long as he’s here, Yoo Joonghyuk will continue on. 

  Lee Jihye is brighter in this regression. She laughs more easily and is quick to tease others. It makes him wonder what she was like before the scenarios, before she killed her best friend and walked out of that school as its only survivor. It’s hard to remember that there was a before that haunts everyone here, when it’s all Yoo Joonghyuk has known for years.

She’s not as strong as she was before, but that’s alright. There are others that will help her when she needs it. All Yoo Joonghyuk has to do for her in this scenario is teach her how to fight; Kim Dokja will teach her how to live despite everything.

In this regression, Lee Jihye is still a teenage girl before she is a maritime general. There are still days she wakes up in tears, gasping her dead friend’s name, and withdraws into herself for a few hours. In past regressions, this has made her fight harder, more recklessly, uncaring of her own safety. Now, Kim Dokja watches over her carefully, speaks to her in low tones, and sends Jung Heewon to comfort her.

Yoo Joonghyuk wonders how things could have changed if he reached out a little more. Had he been less focused on clearing the scenarios and more focused on helping those around him, could they have survived?

He knows the answer, and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He tries not to think about it.

Lee Jihye grins when she sees him walk into the clearing they’ve claimed for training. For a moment, as she sits on the ground holding her sword, Yoo Joonghyuk sees her dead and bloodied. Then she stands and says, brightly, “Master! What are we doing today?”

Yoo Joonghyuk takes a moment to focus on the present, then says, “Start with warm ups, then do your katas fifty times. Then I’ll show you how to disarm someone without getting too close to them.”

Lee Jihye beams and gets to work. Yoo Joonghyuk observes her for a moment; she’s steadily improving, but she could be stronger. They could always be stronger, because they were are enough.

(The memory takes over: Yoo Joonghyuk, not fast enough, not strong enough, not clever enough to outwit Kim Dokja. Yoo Joonghyuk, holding Kim Dojka’s dying body, helplessly watching as he turns to dust, ejected from the Star Stream, unable to save him yet again.)

Yoo Joonghyuk makes his way to the other side of the clearing and unsheathes his sword. He, too, needs to be stronger. Strong enough to take on the constellations. Strong enough to save Kim Dokja from himself.

He trains for a few hours, teaches Lee Jihye new attacks, spars with her to let her practice. She’s the only one he found this regression; the others all gravitate around Kim Dokja. He only needs to look out of her and Mia in this regression.

Even so, Lee Jihye, like the others, turns to Kim Dokja as well. Despite how often she teases him and insists she doesn’t care for him, she is deeply affected by his deaths just as the kids are.

They stop for lunch, and Yoo Joonghyuk leaves Lee Jihye to her own devices as he considers the hidden scenarios he could go after in this area.

“Yoo Joonghyuk, come here,” Kim Dokja calls from where he waits by the door. “Are you going after the hidden items?”

He makes his way to Kim Dokja, already wary at the calculating gleam in his eyes. “I am,” he answers.

“Great! Let’s go then.”

“I don’t need you to come with me.”

“I wasn’t planning on giving you a choice.” Kim Dokja smiles, and it makes Yoo Joonghyuk want to both shove him away and pull him closer. He keeps his hands carefully still by his sides.

“I can get these on my own,” he says, knowing that would never be enough to convince Kim Dokja to let him leave alone.

“That’s not going to stop me.”

He leaves first, without looking back to see if Yoo Joonghyuk is following; he is, of course. He’s always following after Kim Dokja.

And because this is Kim Dokja, he can't go two minutes without trying to cause problems. “I’ll be getting my share of the items too, of course. Don’t expect me to guide you without expecting payment.” He smirks at Yoo Joonghyuk, waiting for him to respond.

He grabs Kim Dokja’s arm. “Pull your weight and do some of the work and I’ll let you have some.”

“Ah, always so violent, Joonghyuk-ah, can’t you have one conversation without threatening the other party?” He tries to break free of Yoo Joonghyuk’s grip, but now that he’s got Kim Dokja close, he has no reason to let go.

“What part of this is threatening?”

Kim Dokja gestures to his captured arm. “Do you not have working eyes? Most conversations don’t require such brute strength.” Yoo Joonghyuk wants to laugh at that. When has Kim Dokja ever had a normal conversation? He’s either planning something that will piss off the constellations, or antagonizing everyone around him. He avoids normal conversations as much as he can, as though speaking genuinely to someone for the sake of speaking to them will make him break out in hives.

“You can let go,” Kim Dokja tries, still trying to pull away.

Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t bother to reply to that. He leads the way to the first hidden scenario in the area as Kim Dokja continues to struggle, then abruptly goes still, allowing the hold on his arm.

Another thing that Kim Dokja avoids: touch. Yoo Joonghyuk wants to keep him close, hold him at every opportunity, but Kim Dokja is quick to keep his distance and disappear. Even Yoo Joonghyuk has never been to physically isolated from others in past regressions. Kim Dokja seems touch starved, and that makes Yoo Joonghyuk want to touch him even more.

He slides his hand down from Kim Dokja’s arm to his wrist, and allows himself a small smile with Kim Dokja doesn’t try to pull away.

   “What are you doing out here?”

Kim Dokja’s voice is the first thing in a few hours to break the silence on the roof. Yoo Joonghyuk sits near the edge, looking out over the broken world. Everyone had been hit hard by the last scenario, and he had to escape and be alone before he drowned in his own thoughts.

It takes a long moment before he finds his voice. “I wanted some time to myself,” he answers.

Kim Dokja hums and doesn’t leave. He sits behind Yoo Joonghyuk, barely any distance between them.

“Are you thinking about everything that went wrong? Comparing this to your past regressions?”

Like always, Kim Dokja knows exactly what he’s thinking. It’s a relief that he doesn’t have to explain it when Kim Dokja already knows.

“You shouldn’t focus on what went wrong. There are too many things to go over. You should focus on the fact that we’re all still alive, and we made it through another scenario.” His voice isn’t pitying or overly gentle. Kim Dokja speaks as though this is obvious, and Yoo Joonghyuk feels some of the tension in his shoulders lighten.

“Have you already begun planning for the next scenario?”

“Of course. But we’ll go over that tomorrow, after everyone’s had some time to rest.”

There is nothing more to say for the night. Yoo Joonghyuk focuses on the sound of Kim Dokja’s breathing, and leans back just enough that their shoulders touch. It feels like a hard-won victory when Kim Dokja doesn’t startle or shy away. Instead, he leans back against Yoo Joonghyuk, pressing their backs together. A weight drops onto his shoulder; Kim Dokja’s head, tilted back so he can look up at the steadily darkening sky.

They stay until the sun sets completely.  It’s the first time he’s felt so at peace since the scenarios started.

That’s the first night Kim Dokja follows Yoo Joonghyuk to his tent and settles in besides him. He refuses to meet Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes, tense and nervous as though he wasn’t sure he was welcome.

Yoo Joonghyuk reaches out for him.

   Kim Dokja reaches back.