#kim hong joong x y/n

[seung-hwa]

neptune

Word Count: 3.4k

Pairing: Hongjoong x reader

Genre: Pure fucking angst babes

Warnings: listen it’s fucking sad okay, not enough people on here write sad shit and sometimes you just need to be sad alright??

Summary: The mini vacation that you’ve planned for yourself and Hongjoong is the last resort you have to save your dying relationship with him. You may still love him, but love isn’t enough to fix what’s broken.

A/N: This is VERY heavily based off of this song here. Lyrics are italicized.

Pitch black, pale blue. It was a stained glass variation of the truth and I felt empty handed. You let me set sail with cheap wood. So I patched up every leak that I could, ‘til the blame grew too heavy.

The wind that whips is harsh against your skin, the smell of the sea is heavy in the night air as the waves crash against the ocean shore. You try to focus your attention on the way the moon shines down onto the sea, rather than thinking about the argument that just ensued between you and Hongjoong.

This vacation was supposed to be a respite from both of your hectic lives, but of course what was supposed to happen never came to fruition. It started from empty promises before you even boarded the plane. He had sworn to you that he wouldn’t take work with him, that the company understood that he was taking some time for himself. It wasn’t like he was going to be gone for months at a time, just a week. A week is all you asked from him, all you needed was for him to put you first for just a single week.

You had been his rock since before his first audition, there for every single up and down in his career, you have always understood him and his busy schedule. Always. More often than not you felt like he took your patience for granted despite the many times you begged for him to just be present in the moment with you.

For you, this vacation was the last chance you felt like you had with him. You had hoped, with everything inside of you, that he’d leave his work behind and focus on you. It’s not like you asked for much, you figured that this couldn’t, shouldn’t, be so hard for him to do. But, of course, he proved you wrong.

Stitch by stitch, I tear apart. If brokenness is a form of art I must be a poster child prodigy. Thread by thread, I come apart. If brokenness is a work of art, surely this must be my masterpiece.

“You said you wouldn’t do this Joong. You didn’t just tell me you promised me that you’d leave all this shit at home,” you try to be calm but you can both hear the fury beginning to creep its way into your voice.

It was two in the morning, and you had woken up to a cold and empty bed, something you had grown used to back home, but not something you had expected to happen here. The day had been wonderful, you spent the morning exploring the small beach town, grabbed dinner once the sun started to set and as the night befell you spent the rest of it wrapped up in each other's embrace until you both fell asleep. Had you not woken up at this ungodly hour then you would’ve never known that he had snuck off into the night just to work. He had to have known you would wake up, you always do at this time just to go to the bathroom. You can only surmise that he thought he’d be able to make it into bed before you woke up but ended up losing track of time.

“I know baby I’m sorry but-,” you cut him off before he can even give you whatever excuse you know he had already thought of.

“No Hongjoong I don’t want to hear it from you. All I asked is for you to just give me your time this week. Why is that so hard?”

“I don’t get why it matters if you were already asleep,” and of course he won’t just sit there and admit he’s wrong.

“It’s the principle of it! When we’re home I am constantly having to wake up to my boyfriend not even being in the same bed as me. That shouldn’t be the case here, you know that!”

“And you know how busy I am! Honestly (y/n) don’t you think it’s selfish for you to expect me to put my whole career on hold for you?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” you blurt out before even thinking about it. You’re automatically heated by his accusation.

“No, actually I’m not kidding at all. You know that I have a comeback just around the corner and you drag me away, the least you can do is let me work without feeling guilty for it,” he says, getting just as heated as you. He stands from the dining room table, now fully facing you and preparing for the argument you’re about to have.

I’m only honest when it rains if I time it right, the thunder beaks. When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how. I’m only honest when it rains, an open book with a torn out page and my ink’s run out. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how.

“This was supposed to be for us! No work! No responsibilities! We were supposed to come out here and just enjoy each other’s time. I didn’t realize it was so selfish of me to want for you to give me the attention you literally never give me when we’re home,”.

He gives you a roll of his eyes and fixes his face into a scowl. He looks as though he’s about to say something else but decides not to as he shakes his head and turns around. You reach for his arm and force him to look back at you.

“No! Nuh uh! You’re not just about to ignore me. Say what you want to say!”

“You really want to hear what I have to say?” He says to you with a raise of his eyebrow, irritation clear in his tone.

“I would love to hear whatever bullshit you’re about to spew right now!”

“You’re clingy, you’re needy, and it’s annoying (y/n). You’re so fucking annoying!” His voice begins to raise.

“Let me tell you something Kim Hongjoong, I’ve been here for you since the very fucking beginning with little to no complaints. The least, the absolute fucking LEAST you could do for me was this. I never ask you for much, NEVER,” it doesn’t hurt you that he’s called you clingy, needy or even annoying, it’s more irritating than anything else because it’s a bold faced lie.

“You take advantage of the fact that I have always stood behind you where others would have left you. And honestly? I am so fucking SICK of being with you when you never give me a moment of your time. Tell me Hongjoong, what the fuck do you want from me?”

“You’re being so dramatic,” he says, clearly none of what you’re saying is getting through to him.

“I don’t care if you think I’m being dramatic. I asked you a question. What the FUCK do you want from ME? Would it suit you better if I was just a little plaything for you to use whenever you need to get your dick wet? Is that what you want? Is that what you need? Because if that’s the case then let me know and I’ll be out of this door in an instant,”.

He raises his hand to his head, fingers rubbing at his temples as you can hear him mumbling under his breath.

“If you’re gonna say something then say it out loud. I’m tired of your shit,” you say.

“You know what. Yes. That’s exactly what I need. For you to leave me the fuck alone so I can get my shit done. Is that what you want to hear?”

I don’t know how. No, I don’t know how. I don't know how. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how. I don’t know how. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how. I wanna love you.

“You want to be alone? Fine! Then be alone! Maybe you’ll finally be able to feel how I’ve felt ever since you fucking joined your company and left me hanging every fucking day!” Your voice doesn’t even sound like your own. You can’t remember the last time you yelled, let alone yelled at Hongjoong. You’re just so sick of having to deal with being in a relationship where you’re the only one who cares enough to try.

You don’t let him answer back to you, instead you grab a jacket and stomp out of the house. You tell yourself that you’ll start packing your bags once you come back in, for now though you need to be able to calm yourself down.

Although the air is cold around you, you feel much warmer out here than you did inside the house. At least you know you can rely on yourself, Hongjoong has proven to you time and time again that you can’t rely on him for anything. You’re too angry to cry, too angry to even think straight as you watch the way the waves crash. Why is it so hard for him to just show you the love you know you deserve. He makes you feel like you’re crazy for wanting him to be present in this relationship, as if it’s a chore for him to love you like how he used to. You understand that he’s stressed from work, but what you don’t understand is his incessant need to always put himself under so much stress that the company doesn’t even expect from him. You’ve met the CEO, you’ve had lunch with him and other staff who treat the boys like kings, they aren’t the ones to put this pressure on Hongjoong. He’s the only person who puts this much stress on himself and you can’t comprehend why.

Maybe it is selfish for you to feel like he buries himself into his work just as a way to get away from you. He always seems to have time for everyone else but you, so what else are you supposed to feel when he makes you out to be the problem. You’ve felt the way he’s drifted from you for a while now, but you always hoped it was just because of work. Now you feel like it’s been purposeful.

You wonder if he still loves you. Do you still love him? Or have you both grown so comfortable with each other that the thought of finding something better, someone better, seems like too much of a hassle? You know he needs someone who will let him do his own thing, if he even needs someone at all. If anything you’re sure that Hongjoong would rather be single and happy than miserable and with you. You, on the other hand, know that you need someone who’ll actually give more than just 10% while you consistently give them 90. You need someone who will make time for you, not because they have to but because they want to.

Pitch black, pale blue. These wild oceans shake what’s left of me loose just to hear me cry mercy. A strong wind at my back so I, I lift up the only sail that I have. This tired white flag.

You can smell the rain before the droplets begin to come down. It’s the realization that you’re in a failed relationship that finally gets the anger to simmer down and become replaced by sadness. It’s far too windy for you to be out, but you would rather freeze out here than be anywhere near him.

As the clouds begin to roll in, the moon disappears, leaving you in pitch blackness. Despite the rain that begins to hit your skin, you stay seated in the sand, kicking off your shoes and digging your toes into the ground. You pull your jacket closer to your body, shivering as the rain begins to pick up. The waves and the rain are almost loud enough to drown out your own thoughts, but the sadness still prevails.

It’s painful to feel like you’ve wasted some of the best years of your life to someone who couldn’t care less. You’ve no idea how long you’ve been outside, and he doesn’t come out for you either. Maybe he’s far too invested in his work to notice how hard the rain is pouring outside of the house, maybe he has his earbuds in and can’t hear the way the thunder rumbles, maybe his eyes are so focused on his computer screen that he can’t see the way the lightning lights up the sky.

You experience all of it. You feel the icy rain stinging your skin, can feel the way the thunder rumbles the ground beneath you, see how the lightning illuminates over the ocean and makes the waves more daunting. And yet all the chaos around you can’t stand a chance to the chaos you feel in your heart.

This was it for you. You told yourself before you even planned the trip that if he couldn’t just keep his focus on you then this was it. You would stick to that decision and live with the consequences. It hurts because you wanted more for the both of you, but he kept putting everything else before you and you were tired of being second best.

When were you allowed to be his priority, especially when he was always yours.

I’m only honest when it rains. If I time it right, the thunder breaks. When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don’t know how. I’m only honest when it rains, an open book with a torn out page and my ink’s run out. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how, know how.

You feel a presence stand next to you. You don’t look up though. You already know it’s him, and it’s raining far too hard for you to bend your head upwards just to confirm your suspicions.

“You shouldn’t be out here,” he says to you.

“If I shouldn’t be here then why are you,” snippiness enters your voice as you continue to stare ahead of you rather than at him.

“Let’s go back in before you catch a cold. Baby you’re soaking wet,” he places a hand on your shoulder and you roll it away from him. His touch is unwanted and the pet name just makes you angry again.

“Don’t pretend to care now just because of your guilty conscience,”.

“(y/n),” he sighs, “I’m not pretending to care. I do care for you please come back inside,”.

“But do you love me?”

“What?”

“You care for me but do you love me Hongjoong?”

“Baby-”

“Don’t call me that. Just answer the question. Do you love me?”

He stays silent, and that’s enough of an answer for you. You stand from your place in the sand, feeling the way it keeps itself attached to your clothes. You don’t even put your shoes on as you make your way back to the house, Hongjoong following right at your heel.

The heat hits you the second you make your way through the door, and a shiver settles into your bones, your mind finally realizing how cold you really are. For what it’s worth he rushes to get you a towel, wrapping it around your body as he steps in front of you. You don’t want to look at him still, but this is a conversation that you know needs to be had.

“Why would you ask me if I love you?” You can see the pain in his eyes, the regret is written clearly in his features and it makes you want to cry. He can sit there and lie to himself all he wants but you know the truth.

“We both know you don’t,”.

You watch him swallow the lump in his throat, tears beginning to gather at his waterline. You’ve rarely seen him cry, in fact you’re sure that Seonghwa has seen him cry more than you have. The thought makes you feel bitter.

“Don’t say that… Don’t pretend to know how I feel,”.

“Don’t lie to me as if I haven’t known you for years, loved you for years,”.

“So what? Do you not love me anymore?” his voice cracks towards the end of his sentence and it tugs at your heart, making you feel more terrible than you already do.

I’m only honest when it rains. If I time it right, the thunder breaks. When I open my mouth, I wanna tell you, but I don’t know how, know how. I’m only honest when it rains, an open book with a torn out page and my ink’s run out. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how.

You do love him. You can’t really stand here and convince yourself that you don’t because you do. You’ve spent so much of your time loving him, and in the beginning you loved the way that he loved you. But you can’t just keep holding on to the hope that he’ll love you the way that he used to. You’ve given so much of yourself to him, all for it to be taken for granted. So even though you do love him, you love yourself more.

“No,” you say with a shaky breath and a broken heart. You follow the way a tear slips out of his eye and down his cheek.

“I think we’ve grown complacent, don’t you?”

His response is to look away from you, hand wiping at his face haphazardly as the tears continue to run. You’re thankful you got all your tears out on the beach because you already feel so exhausted from the crying.

“Is this really just because of the work issue? Is that what needs to change?” there’s a bit of desperation in his tone.

“It’s more than that, but that is part of it, yeah,”.

He doesn't speak again, just letting the tears fall silently as you continue to watch him. You can see the gears in his mind turning, and you wonder if he’ll try to bargain with you, try to beg you to stay. You have to admit that a part of you would very heavily consider it if he pulled aside his pride and did so, but the longer you both stand there the more you know that he won’t do it. You’re sure Hongjoong is trying to convince himself that letting you go is what’s most beneficial to him, and you have to agree. Maybe he would be better off without you, and you’re tired of fighting for something dead.

“Is this it?” he asks you, voice coming out in a whisper. He barely sounds like himself, and it could just be because you find yourself trying to disassociate yourself from the painfulness of it all.

“I think it has to be,”. There’s a pit in your stomach that wasn’t there before, the finality of your words making your body react negatively.

“Okay,” he says, nodding sadly as he looks away from you and around the house in which you were supposed to spend the next six days together. So much for that vacation, huh?

“Now what?” he sighs.

“You can go back in the morning, pack everything up and head out on the first flight tomorrow if you’d like. We can deal with the rest once I come home,” you’re proud of yourself for not having a single voice crack.

He nods at you and heads off towards the room, presumably to pack his things and get his trip planned back home. You’re still shivering in the same spot, a wet puddle lays at your feet that you know you’ll have to clean later. You’ll have to do a lot of things later. For now though you’ll shower, and then sleep on the couch while Hongjoong leaves.

There’s an ache in your chest, a feeling of deep regret, but you know that you deserve to be happy. Hongjoong wasn’t your happiness, he hadn’t been for a very long while and you’ll have to learn to live with that. You’ll have to learn to be okay without him.

I don’t know how. I don’t know how. I don’t know how. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how. I don’t know how. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how. I wanna love you, but I don’t know how. I wanna love you.

More A/N: Alright yes I know that was pretty sad, if you’d like to read a Hongjoong fic that has a happy ending then look at this fic here (or if you just love pain then feel free to read this one instead). But, if those don’t appeal to you then feel free to peruse my masterlist here instead. I do have a tag list so if you’d like to be added onto that then let me know. Okay cool bye!!!!

[shinestarhwaa]

Hi pookie! I literally love your writing sm.

My request for you is Hongjoong, kinks 11 & 12, + 19, and line 45

Thank you so much! 🫶💕

Pookie? That makes me go so🥺🥺🥺 I love that nickname teeheee :) I hope you'll enjoy this one!! Xo

QUICK || KIM HONGJOONG

Genre: Smut

Pairing: husband!Hongjoong x Fem reader

Word Count: 0.7k

Tags/warning: Married!AU, Mild degrading kink, Praise kink, Blindfolds, Doggy style, Spanking, Toys, Unprotected sex, Creampie, Mentioned Ateez members in the end

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123 @mjyungi

ENJOY!

"I love it when you moan my name baby," Hongjoong whispered in your ear as he felt you up from behind. His fingers brushed over your hardened nipples, grazing your breasts.

Your eyes searched for him but you couldn't see a thing; your eyes were covered by the black blindfold Hongjoong made you wear. You wore nothing else, so you felt the cold breeze from the slightly opened window. Goosebumps rose on your skin and you swallowed thickly when you felt his hard cock against your lower back.

"Oh my God," you mouthed as you closed your eyes when Hongjoong started kissing your neck. "You look and sound so pretty like this, my darling," he praised you, kissing over your shoulder. His fingers grazed your soft skin as he pressed kisses over your arm.

"Do we have to do this? There's no time," you whined as he spanked you. "Yes. We do. Because I'm not gonna go to dinner with a fat boner that you gave me, Y/N."

Hongjoong bend you over the desk, your breasts coming in contact with the cold surface of the wood. "Joong," you breathed out. He slapped your ass three times before he slightly split your legs and entered your pussy with his hard cock.

Your body protested against it, as he hadn't opened you up with his fingers before, but Hongjoong shushed you. "We don't have time, we have to leave in like 15 minutes, right? Just take it baby, I know you can."

You nodded and moaned when Hongjoong pushed his cock deep into you. "That's right, take it, take it like the good girl you are... I know I married a good girl, a good naughty fucking girl," he groaned as he started moving faster inside you.

"Y-yes! Yes you did," you moaned, biting your bottom lip and whimpering as his hands met the flesh of your bottom again. "J-Joong!" You moaned. Hongjoong picked up the pace and fucked you hard and deep, not wasting any more time.

As he fucked you he reached into the drawer in the desk and pulled out your favourite vibrator. When he turned it on and put it on your clit you yelped and squirmed under his touch, but Hongjoong was strong enough to keep you in place.

"Oh my god, Joong that's so good, that's so good!"

One thing you loved dearly about Hongjoong is that he put your pleasure first, even with a quick fuck like this. He knew you wouldn't be able to cum on the spot at any time so a vibrator was an amazing tool for a quickie at home.

"That's right baby, doesn't that feel so good? I cannot take my time with you right now because we really have to leave for dinner but I do need you to come for me," Hongjoong groaned in your ear.

Your moans gradually got louder as he turned the setting up, pussy clenching around his hard cock. "Hongjoong!" You screamed, nails digging into the wooden desk. "That's right, moan for me, you love it right? A little quick fuck before leaving? The boys are gonna see how fucked out you are, you like that huh?"

"Yes! Yes fuck, I love that, w-wanna see the look on their faces when they realize I'm all fucked out from your cock!" Hongjoong smirked and repeatedly hit a sweet spot inside you, making you scream for him.

"That's right, that's fucking right, you're such a good girl for me. You're gonna take my load right baby? Gonna carry it inside you when we're out?" "Y-Yes, whatever you want!"

It didn't take long before Hongjoong released inside you with a long moan, pumping you full of his cum. He turned up the vibrator to the highest setting, making you unravel on his cock in no time, cunt spasming around him.

"That's a good girl," he moaned as he rode out your orgasms. He pulled out of you and cleaned you up. The two of you wasted no time putting your clothes on as you were seriously gonna be running late.

You were fixing up your make-up in the car when he asked if you were doing okay. You smiled and nodded. "Ofcourse," you answered as you pressed a kiss on his cheek.

When you arrived at the restaurant the guys barely suspected a thing until Jongho discovered hickeys from earlier today on your collarbone and neck. "You must've had a wild night?" "No, no those are fresh," Wooyoung gasped, "they just fucked, ew!" "EWWW!"

[woos-lil-oreo]

Promise

Pairing: Kim Hong Joong x Choi Jong Ho x Female!Reader

Word Count: approximately 1.2k words

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: There are none, really. It's fluff... but this does reference a smut that I previously wrote entitled Make It Right. It helps to read that before this as it is a premise for this story, but it is not necessary as I address some of the things in that in here. But if they are some things in here that need a warning, please tell me.

Author's Note: This is my very first fluff! I hope you enjoy! ✨ Don't be shy, say hello and leave me an ask. I love you and drink your water! 😉

Intro and Masterlist ✨

~~~~~~

You wake up in the middle in the bed, alone. You blink some of the sleepiness away from your eyes and rub the coal out of the corners of your eyes. You sit up in the bed after to scratch your head. You oddly feel very well-rested, which is weird considering that you have been staying up waiting on your two boyfriends for the last seven weeks.

You begin to ask yourself what happened, but the dull ache between your thighs left a clear indication of what you needed to know. Jongho glorifying the body that you constantly doubt, and Hongjoong physically reiterating himself on how much he and the younger loves you.

You think Hongjoong got a bit carried away at that part, but it was very much still amazing at the same time. You guess that was just what the doctor recommended. “Damn, I need to drink more water…” You randomly think. You giggle at the thought and the memory of last night and proceed to take in your surroundings. The fresh sheets on the bed are crinkled around your body. Your hands are on the slightly warm places where Hongjoong and Jongho were, which tells you that they may have gotten up an hour or so ago. The blinds in the rooms are slightly open towards the ceiling, allowing the room to get a warm-toned and inviting glow.

You turn to hop out of bed and almost fall and bust your ass on the floor because you felt like a baby Bambi trying to walk. You prevent the foreseen event by quickly grabbing the nightstand and slowly moving to the wall to pace yourself and not fall over your feet. Many baby steps later, and you finally made it to the bathroom. You relieved yourself and washed your face so you, at the least, look awake.

You slowly make your way downstairs, and the sight you see at the end is absolutely adorable and makes your heart flutter. Jongho was staring intently at the stove. More directly, a hot pan with a light tone circle of batter, left hand armed with a spatula ready to flip the perfect pancake. He was dressed in a pair of grey cotton basketball shorts and a black tank top.

“Hyung. When do I flip the pancake again?” Jongho screams to Hongjoong, who is in the dining room, placing the plates, silverware, and napkins. “When they are bubbles on the top.” He calmly screams back, on his way to wash your favorite fruits sitting in the sink. “Bubbles are good?! I’ve been popping them all!” Jongho says in a panic. “Well, flip the pancake then,” Hongjoong says a little snappily. “Y/N makes this look so easy,” Jongho says, a little depressed that he can’t even make a simple pancake.

Hongjoong and Jongho are a little on edge to make sure this comes out perfect. They just wanted to make you breakfast to make up for putting you to sleep the way he did, to say they love you in another way, and to prep for a beautiful day of festivities. They have no schedules today, and they would like to spend all of their time with you today.

“Jongho, you can do this. You are the maknae of big-time 4th generation boy group ATEEZ… A to the Z, man.” Hongjoong says, hyping up Jongho. “I am.” He says confidently. “I’m sorry, you what?” Hongjoong says, acting like he can’t hear him. “I am the main vocalist of ATEEZ, Choi Jongho!!!” He says while doing the Woah before he does his signature Orange Justice with a twist: he still has the spatula in hand.

You laughed at their silliness when they scrambled to their stations after realizing that the pancake was burning and the faucet was still running. You look at them for a bit longer. Jongho managed to cook all the pancakes without burning the rest of them, and Hongjoong finished washing and cutting the fruits. A plate of bacon was beautifully lined up on the plate, so you figured that they cooked on their own without burning it or themselves.

You decided to make your presence with an exaggerated yawn and a stretch. “Good morning!” You go to kiss your boyfriends’ cheeks and attempt to steal a banana. Hongjoong caught you with a smack to the hand before you were successful at your heist. “Nuh-uh. Those are for the pancakes, honey.” Hongjoong says to you, accenting the pet name with a boop to your nose. You scrunch your nose at the tap.

Once the drinks are on the table, you and the boys grab the food to move to the table. Hongjoong has the pancakes, you have the fruits, and Jongho is holding the door. Everyone grabs their plates and fills them to the brim with food. As you get ready to dive in, you look to see your boyfriends not eating… they are just staring at you.

“No.” You say indefinitely. “Please-” “Nope, we are not doing this.” You say with finality.

They love to try to get off-guard pictures of you to have in their storage Rolodex. They think it’s cute, but you think you looked like a stuffed potato with your cheeks filled like a chipmunk.

“Okay, fine.” Hongjoong puts his phone on the table. “Thank you!” You go back to indulging in your breakfast. You were calmly enjoying your food when you hear the shutter of an iPhone camera, and you see the flash of a camera.

“GIVE IT!!!” You yelled with your face full of kiwi. Jongho runs around the house with you right on his tail. While running, he sends it to Hongjoong, saves it to his cloud (the Google one, not iCloud), and stops. You bump right into his back, and he gives you the phone, so you can delete it.

“Open it.” You say, pointing the phone at him. “Nope.” He says with a bounce in his step. “Babeeeee,” you whine. “I love you.” He says, pulling you into a hug. “Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.” You say in his grip with a tiny pout. He laughs at you, peppering kisses all over your face until you burst out in giggles. Hongjoong walks towards you guys and says, “Come on, lovebirds, we got a movie to watch.”

You guys go into the extra bedroom decorated for this occasion they are having with you. Black-out curtains, chairs propped up to make a tent, and a projector set up with a slideshow of all of your cute moments together with Promise playing in the background. Jongho paused the slideshow to allow you guys to get comfortable. Once that happened, he restarted the slideshow and occasionally looked at your reactions. As you got closer to the end, the more you were closer to tears. The photos of you genuinely enjoying yourself with your significant others, along with Jongho’s gummy smile and Hongjoong’s precious smile while watching you do what makes you happy… are just amazing all on their own.

The slideshow is over; you are drowning in your tears. It did its job. Hongjoong and Jongho are wiping your tears and laughing to keep themselves from crying. What a wonderful way to start your morning: with two boyfriends who promise to keep you safe, loved, and cherished.

~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoy the read ✨ don't be shy, come say hello, I don't bite 😉

[teeztheflag]

─────────────────────

S i e b e n  S i n n e (Seven Senses) I

⋆ pairing: catking!san x reader (x human!woo young)

⋆ genre: yandere au, fantasy au, suggestive

⋆ trigger warnings ⚠️ strong language, yanderish behaviour, possessiveness, violence

⋆ words: 6,700

part I  part II  part III

a/n: this is (obviously) inspired by The Cat Returns (Studio Ghibli) and A Whisker away (Netflix); my Halloween gift to you guys & in celebration of ateez halloween performance video the black cat nero 

⋆  „Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. There has to be a logical answer for this! For everything!“

─────────────────────

„You are really out of your mind sometimes, (y/l/n) (y/n).“ Your friend Jang Mi side-eyes you suspiciously when she drags you through the streets of Seoul.

The only thing replaying in your mind endlessly the cat you just managed to rescue from a speeding car. How she or he stood up on the hind paws like a real human being. Those intriguing eyes that judged you mercilessly first and than seeming to spotten the wound on your head. When you crashed down on the side walk with the cat in your arms shielding it from the pain that would come. It felt like the cat would’ve known and understood what you had just done and that was quite fascinating.

No, never. It didn’t understand. It’s a cat. Just a cat. And it’s not uncommon they’re able to stand like you or me. Maybe it has an owner that trained him to do so.

Anyways. You were glad you did it. You love cats and in a big town like this it was common those beautiful creatures were driven over often. Also the cat you just rescued had such a beautiful reddish fur with a cute rosy pointing nose. It behaved like a damn human with it‘s gaze and attitude though...

You chuckle at this earning you another glare from Jang Mi. „That isn’t funny! You could’ve died, (y/n)!“

„I didn’t. And that asshole that drove the car should’ve known better to not speed so carelessly in a 30 zone.“

Jang Mi rolls her eyes and groans out knowing it‘s pointless to argue with you over these things. She knows you only since two years but in this short time the two of you became the best friends someone could imagine.

„Hey, Jang Mi. You know what? I am buying you some ice cream! To get that grumpy look off your face.“ The last words you emphasize with a funny voice to which your friend laughs out and pokes her tongue at you.

„Silly girl, you always know how to get me. Oh, gosh. Your head...“ Since she’s got a better look at you now your wound is not a nice sight to take in. You absentmindedly touch where her gaze lands and frown when you see the blood on the tips of your shaking fingers.

„Don’t worry. It’s nothing...“

„Yeah, hell no. We’re getting to a pharmacy first. I don’t even understand how you didn’t notice it yourself.“

You frown again. Suddenly it actually starts to hurt and you could facepalm yourself. Sometimes your clumsiness got on your nerves because you slowly became aware of the questioning gazes on your form by the passengers on the streets.

„Come on, babes. We get you treated. Don’t want your lover boy to freak out tomorrow!“ With that she started to speed away leaving you endlessly flustered. He wasn’t your loverboy but Jang Mi was so fast you had to catch her to get revenge.

This girl...

Your head hurt but the work due tomorrow wasn’t finishing itself. Your fingers found their way so often to the wound and everytime a picture of the cat flashed your mind.

„I hope it’s ok...“

Finishing the last task you groan out and sink back into your writing chair. Crap... The chilly summer air fills your room with a comfortable silence. You loved your windows open the whole night listening to the music of the town. It was a different atmosphere than back home on your farm. There you would only hear the crickets and rustling of the trees. It took some time to adjust to the new surroundings but you managed well. Hopefully...

After getting ready for bed you snuggled yourself under the covers and listened. Thinking back to when you came back home earlier a smile crept up your face.

„Did you got beaten?“ Your mother asked you wide-eyed. You couldn’t hold back the laughter that erupted afterwards and the look on your mother’s face of misbelief. But she smiled. She heartily smiled at you when you told her the story.

„Ah, my stupid daughter. You and animals. But you know what? How people treat animals says a lot about their personality. So I am proud my (y/n) is a good girl!“ She hugged you and you laughed again. Quite cheesy but okay.

Your eyelids got heavier and you felt yourself drifting into the dreaming land. Everything was calm and you felt safe.

Drums? You’re sleeping. It’s becoming louder and it annoys you. You groan and toss around in the bed coming more to your senses. How long were you asleep already? Making a move to look on your clock only confuses you. There were no numbers or anything.

Still in a foggy state you sit up and your gaze drifts to your window where the sound seems to increase in its volume more and more.

„At this rate they will wake the whole neighborhood.“

Curiosity killed the cat so you stood up and made your way to the window. Peaking out carefully you first see nothing. The street lights are on but the houses are dark. Nobody woke up yet? Turning your head to the left and to the right repeatedly you wanted to give up but then you heard it again.

A loud drum that makes your heart beat quicken and goosebumps rising.

„Aish, what is going on?“

You suppress a scoff when you see lanterns at the end of the street emerging. A festival move at this unholy hour? Oh wait, you don’t know how late it is.

Are you dreaming? You look back to the clock and still no numbers. You are definitely dreaming. It feels so real but you managed to have a lucid dream?

Suddenly a smile brightens on your face and you take a look at your hands in front of you wondering how everything‘s so realistic. No time to think longer you run downstairs and open the gate to the street looking for the lanterns and drums.

You only register now that you’re still in your pajamas but it is a dream so who cares. The music‘s becoming louder and louder. Your eyes shine with curiosity and your hands become sweaty what might happen. Then the first persons come into sight and you gasp at the rich clothes they’re wearing.

Hanboks with the most astonishing and eye-catching colors. Beautifully handmade lanterns and flowers of all colors. But something knocks the air out of you and you take a step back. The figures leading the festival move aren’t humans... They’re cats! Cats that are seeming to walk on their hind paws. Like the one you rescued today.

What a weird dream. The move goes on and on and you register the cats sometimes peaking at you mischievously. Until it comes to a halt in front of you and you can see a cat with grayish-brown fur stepping down from a sedan chair a huge smile on it‘s face.

The cats were still much smaller than you and you felt like an idiot standing there on the streets barefoot only in your pajamas.

You shriek back scared when the cat seems to bow and all the others follow suit.

„Mrs. (y/l/n). My name is Kim Hong Joong and I come in the names of our prince Choi. Our kingdom is very thankful you rescued our young prince. In his behalf and others we want to thank you with a gift.“

„How can you speak...“

The cat named Hong Joong looks up and takes something from his back which looks like a necklace. You carefully reach for it after every cat seems to wait patiently. When your fingers touch the material the cat‘s eyes seem to glisten and the others start to meow happily.

„Ehm, eh, okay? Thank you?“ You inspected the necklace and wonder what material it was. It was very thin and almost seemed transparent. Beautiful nevertheless.

„I am so happy you accept the offer, Mrs. (y/l/n)! My prince and king will be very happy! We will pick you up tomorrow evening when your quarters are ready.“ He bowed again and all the other cats, too.

Suddenly they continue their way leaving you dumbfounded in front of your house with the necklace tingling between your fingers.

Your teacher rambled about one of her favorite musicians since probably twenty minutes leaving the whole class groaning unhappily. With a pen between your teeth and the head supported by your palm your gaze drifts out the window to the school yard.

The dream you had was so confusing. After the cats were gone you climbed back into your bed not knowing how to stop your sleep. It also worries that you are able to remember every little detail. Maybe it’s like this when you’re lucid dreaming?

„Ouch!“ You pat you the back of your head where something hit you a few seconds ago. Turning around you come face to face with no other than Woo Young himself. The boy smirks at you and you roll your eyes picking up the little note he smashed in your direction.

„What‘s with your head?“

You deeply inhale and have to suppress a laugh. Scribbling down your answer and sending it back to your classmate you watch Woo Young‘s reaction.

He wears an apologetic look and then frowns and smiles.

„Because you just hit me with the killer paper? Jokes, you should see the other guy :‘)“

Woo Young quickly writes down while looking to the teacher once in a while.

You liked Woo Young for quite a while now. His open-minded and kindhearted character let you feel butterflies in your stomach so often. While you watch the boy like a lovestruck teacher he sends a paper back to you again but this time you catch it.

Earning the attention of the whole class and also your teacher.

„Mr. Jung! Mrs. (y/l/n)!“

After detention with Woo Young and some other students you and the back walk back the way to your house. Between chattering and laughing Woo Younh suggests to buy you some strawberry milk and take a last chill at the playground in your neighborhood.

Both of you sit on a swing next to eachother while the boy‘s eyes are glue to your form every so often.

„Oh, look!“ You point up to the sunset and giggle at how nicely the colors of red and purple seem to merge.

„It’s beautiful...“ Woo Young takes a sip from his own milk and agrees while not taking his eyes off you.

„Thank you, Woo. I mean I was really angry at you earlier but you made up for it!“

„Well, it’s not by fault your skills are so bad.“ He smirks at you challenging but you just keep your comments to yourself and start to swing a little bit.

„(y/n)? Would you go on a date with me?“

You caugh out some milk and Woo Young quickly stands up to help you by holding you.

Great, how embarrassing. Sometimes you wish the ground would open and you could hid away.

„Are you okay?“

„Yes, yes to both.“ You smile and Woo Young reflectors your face expression.

„Great, I was really nervous to ask you.“ His hand caresses the nape of his neck while he helps you to stand up.

Cute.

„I will plan everything! Maybe a picnic or we could do something adventurous!“

„I trust you to find something good and if you’re not we could always just take a walk in the park.“

„Alright. Then see you tomorrow, beautiful.“ Woo Young tries to be brave and places a chaste kiss on your cheek to which your body responds immediately with butterflies in your stomach.

You try to hide your face and say goodbye to him making your way home, too, with the palms on your cheeks to cool them down. Oh god what was this boy doing to you.

„Mrs. (y/l/n). We’ve searched everywhere for you!“

What was that? You turn around to find the source of the voice but you cannot spot anyone. Did you just imagine that?

„Down here, mylady.“

„Oh my god!“ With a loud thud you stumble back and land on your butt shock evident on your face.

„Y - you... you are...“

„Kim Hong Joong, at your service.“ The cat from your dream bowed to you and landed back on his four paws to tilt his head.

„Are you okay? Did this unworthy human harassed you or something?“

„I don’t understand... How and why. I am not dreaming?“

„You aren’t. If you thought so yesterday you weren’t, too. I am a cat and you a human and we‘re having a chat right now.“ His eyes pierced you and your actions carefully but you were just so confused everything started to spin around you.

„Cat - you’re a cat. You shouldn’t be able to talk!“ Hong Joong starts to emerge your form and meows sadly when you try to rob away from him.

„Mh, well, we don’t have time. They’re already waiting so we should go.“

„Go? Where?“

„To the kingdom of cats of course.“ Hong Joong’s meows loudly and you cannot believe your eyes when about a dozen cats emerge from the bushes and jump down from the roofs.

„I am not feeling good.“ You black out when the cats seem to get you on top of them and start to speed away with a magical fast pace.

„Oh no, she’s out...“ Hong Joong sits in front of you on the train of cats and observes you quietly.

You’re out of the town and it’s noise faster than ever and pass trees and farms in the last rays of the sunshine from today. While you’re still unconscious it’s already to late to flee when the train of cats slide through the portal and enter the magical world to the kingdom of cats...

You wake up with a groan clutching to your head immediately. Slowly coming back to your sense you can feel a fluffy blanket with your fingers and you turn over to snuggle deeper into the covers and cushions. It was only a dream...

Opening your eyes carefully your breath hitches and you sit up abruptly. This can’t be real! Where are you?

„Hello?“ You stand up and wander around the room you’re in. It is definitely out of time as it looks like back in 19th century out of a royal castle. The bed is huge with gold decorations and also the furniture looks of expensive wood and materials. It seems to be evening because it’s already getting dark outside.

How long were you gone? It was evening when the cats got you and... the cats got you here. Speaking cats. Oh god, you were finally loosing your mind.

„The fucking hell...“ Is that you in the mirror? The person looks like you but... there are (y/h/c) ears on your head. Cat ears... You touch the area where your human ears should be but there are not to find.

You feel the room spinning again.

„Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. There has to be a logical answer for this! For everything!“

The door opens and you feel yourself tensing up and backing away when about three females enter the room looking just like you. But with the difference that they also wear a tail on their backs that swing around happily which makes you think they’re excited for anything.

„Oh my! The cat ears and tail suit you nicely, Mrs. (y/l/n)! You’re purrrrfect!“ The other ladies giggle and you just stand there mouth open and shocked. You point at them hastily and scared.

„Who are you! What am I doing here? Where am I?“

„Sh, sh... You’re in the Kingdom of the cats and more precisely in the castle of king and prince Choi.“

„Are you joking?“

„No, we aren’t. You’re in a magical world and are going to live every cat‘s dream! Marrying our wonderful and gorgeous cat king Choi.“ The smiles doesn’t leave their faces despite knowing how worn up you are and exhausted, too.

„I - I, who am I going to marry?”

“Mrs. (y/l/n), you’re going to marry the king of cats! Isn’t it wonderful?“

„He, ehe, I don’t know what game this is but just let me go home and - “

„No times! We have to make you presentable for meeting our king! He will absolutely fall in love with you! Your fur already looks so nice and fluffy and that tail!“

Ah, yes. Don’t listen to me. And what’s that funny thing on your back? You turn forth and back and jump away when you see the thing swinging from side to side. You carefully touch it and feel that it’s very sensitive and almost ticklish.

„I’ve never known cats could feel so much with this thing...“

„Oh, we are. But humans are just plainly dumb and think it would be funny to provoke us with the smallest things.“ The others agree with the lady that talked the most out of them and you just hum at her.

„So let‘s get you ready and the king will help you with all your questions. In the end he will be your husband soon!“ They giggled again and emerged your form to sit you down in front of a smaller mirror in the room starting to brush your hair and comb it nicely.

After a while some of them come back to the room with a few dresses and let you pick one. What else could you do right now? You weren’t convinced this all was real by but maybe that king or whatever could help you. Also the ladies seemed to be very persistent on dolling you up.

„Look! What a beautiful queen we will soon have!“ The girl named Ye Ri says and points to the mirror while the others gather around to admire their work.

Suddenly someone knocks on the door and Joy walks over to open it. You frown when you see a man standing there bowing to the girls and you.

„Mr. Kim! The Miss is ready!“

„Oh, I can see. Are you feeling better, mylady?“

„Hong Joong?“

He smiles just like he did as a cat but now he also has only the cat ears and and a tail. He was still very cute and looked happy to see you.

„Yes, it’s me. It’s nice you recognized me in this form.“

„This form? So you can change?“

„Yes, every cat is able to change its form but we rather do that in our kingdom where no humans can see us.“

„Oh, wow. So can I change, too?“

„Yes, you can. But for now it should be better for you to stay in this form. We usually are how we are right now when being in society. You will soon see yourself. For now I am here to bring you to the king.“

„Of course, the king...“

The girls usher you out to follow Hong Joong through the long corridors of the castle and you often find yourself slowing down to look at all the art hanging on the walls and peaking into one room and another.

Suddenly he halts in his tracks and motions for two guards in front of the door to open it. They’re bowing for you and Hong Joong motions for you to enter the big hall where a throne and other furniture was placed like - indeed - for a king.

You step inside and they close the doors behind you with a thud that makes you jolt nervously.

Then you see him. Black ears and a black tail that is swinging calmly from side to side while he looks out of the window. His arms are folded behind his back and he’s wearing what seems like a red king jacket with golden emblems, a white blouse and dark trousers.

He indeed looks like a king, more like a prince so because he’s so young. The king smiles to himself hearing you walking to him warily and with careful steps. He looks down into his palm where your necklace is placed and caresses the texture.

You watch him turning around and it nearly knocks the air out of your system. He’s deadly gorgeous with black hair like the night and piercing eyes that resemble cat ones so much. If this wasn’t the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen you didn’t know. Or should you say cat?

„You’re here.“

You gulp and stupidly nod at him not being able to form an accurate sentence.

„Finally. My brother didn’t lie when he said you were the purest soul and lovely human he ever layed his eyes on.“

You cannot suppress the effect he has on you and wish that hole would finally appear. Before you can look away the king emerges your now a little bit trembling form and seems to analyze everything.

You can feel him looking at your ears with such fascination. He really resembles a cat. His tail touches your dress so often and you feel like he does it on purpose but when you look up he’s still right in front of you dazed by your looks and eyes.

You should ask him now. Although he was so beautiful and mesmerizing he was still a cat and in no way you could stay here and marry a cat. A cat king. But that didn’t matter right now.

„King Choi I - “

„San. My name is San.“

He purrs at you and you could’ve drop dead at the sound. It felt almost lewd like it was his way of flirting with you and damn it he was getting you with it.

Hence you and your love for animals and especially cats! They were just too elegant and cute to resist.

„S - San, I don’t know how to say this but - why am I here?“

His eyes widen and his orbs darken at your question, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Then he flashes you a dazzling smile with little fangs showing.

„We’re marrying, (y/n).“

„But - I mean, why me?“

„Because you rescued my brother, prince Jong Ho. You would’ve given your life to rescue one of us and you were lucky it was the prince himself. We take that very serious!“

„Ah, so that cat was your brother!“ He nods rapidly his eyes seeming to turn into crescents at your reaction.

„A thank you would have been ok, San. We don’t have to marry! I mean I am a human girl and you’re a cat, the king of cats to add. There will be better options for you, right? You don’t have to feel obligated or something, really!“ With every word you stutter San‘s mood seems to change from a playful into something tense.

„My love, cats only fall in love once in their life and after my brother told me about you I knew you were the right one! Also the king‘s wish is not to be declined, never.“

Your smile now also vanished from your face and you could facepalm. He didn’t want to let you go? Fine, you would find a way yourself.

„(y/n), you accepted my marriage proposal so there’s no turning back. In a week we‘re going to marry and there‘s no way out of the kingdom without my acceptance.“ He leans down and mewls into your cat ears that instantly react to the soft touch of his fingers. You tense and try to hold back from letting out any sound. He takes out the necklace of his pocket and places it around your exposed neck.

You groan unintentionally. This was the marriage proposal!

You want to talk to him longer and tell him that you wouldn’t marry him but when you smell the scent of food on the table at the end of the room your stomach has other plans.

San seems to be back to his sweet and inviting aura and glances down to you with loving eyes. „Let’s eat, love. You have to be hungry after the long journey.“ He professionally lays his arm around your waist and guides you to the table where you carefully start to dig into the delicious meals.

Thing two you loved endlessly. Food... Maybe one or two days with these expensive dishes wouldn’t be too bad? Hell, no, (y/n).

San‘s aura is calm again and he watches you with interested eyes how you’re eating everything the cooks prepared for this evening.

„From tomorrow on we will sleep together in my chambers. Today I well let you get adjusted to everything. If you want or need something Hong Joong will be your personal contact everytime.“

The slice of apple nearly slips into the false tract when he speaks about sleeping together. „I - isn‘t it too early to sleep in the same bed?“

„Don’t worry. Cats play by other rules. But I won’t touch you until we’re married. Then we will mate and I’ll take what’s mine, my beautiful (y/n).“

A sick feeling makes itself comfortable in your stomach at his words. He almost sounds possessive over you. Were cats like this? A thing you never payed attention to.

Still, there had to be a way out of here. Tomorrow you would try to leave the castle and get back to your world, as dumb as it sounded.

You were very tired and after eating San brought you back to the room you woke up earlier and left you there. As soon as he vanished out of your sight you felt like the air wasn’t suffocating you anymore.

He was charming and dazzlingly handsome but something just seems off. Fear and worry he would really not let you go crept up to you like paws with long and sharp claws.

He would understand. If he really liked you and fell in love he would let you go. That’s what you would do for the person you love, right? Let them be free and happy. Oh my, hopefully he would change his mind...

The next morning you wake up rested and stretch out to wake your still tired limbs. Instead of a yawning a long meow leaves your mouth leaving you to startle.

„Well, I have to get used to this...“ You stand up and find the bathroom to take a show having minor problems with your tail that seems to swing away everytime you try to wash it properly. It was funny how in everyone of their clothes a little hole for the tail was. You were also thankful your wardrobe didn’t only consist of dresses and changed into a pair of light trousers and a red blouse that you tucked into. The maids also arrived early to make your hair and make up which felt nice. You’ve never had anyone to make you feel so beautiful.

Being happy with your appearance you left the girls seeing Hong Joong already waiting for you in front of your door.

„Good morning, mylady! I am here to escort you to the breakfast.“

„Good morning to you, too!“ You smiled at the boy and followed suit. The room was opened with large windows where the sun peaked inside and outside you could see a big garden with many flowers and a big pond. It looked dreamingly...

„I am also admiring the view of the morning, my queen.“ Your ears twitch and you feel San coming up behind you his eyes only set on you which makes you flustered.

„You’re exaggerating, my king.“

„I am not. But maybe your right. No words can describe your beauty, (y/n).“ You giggle a little bit helpless and take a seat next to San to start the breakfast.

Then suddenly the door opens and a young man with reddish hair enters the room equally dressed to San.

„Brother!“ Jong Ho smiles spotting the two of you. The poor boy doesn’t know what tragedy he got you into.

„(y/n), my dear. Do you recognize me?“ A smile creeps up your face at the sight. The cat you rescued in it‘s other form.

„Oh my! You are him!“

„Yes, I am the cat. I am still so thankful for what you’ve done!“

„It wasn’t anything. You didn’t have to make your brother have to marry me.“ You giggle embarrassed but Jong Ho frowns at your reaction.

„Why? Nothing can be enough to thank my hero... Aren’t you happy?“ San‘s speak up before you’re able to.

„She’s a little bit overwhelmed but it will cool down after the marriage.“ He slips from his tea wearing a mischievous smile while you glare at the king. His brother suddenly smiles again being obviously relieved. That boy also seemed to be too pure for his own good...

The breakfast continued while the three of you have little chit chats with you asking more about the world and maybe getting information on how to leave from here.

San told you he had some business to do for the marriage leaving you to roam around the castle and the yards on your own. The perfect opportunity to get out of here. Your ears hang down at thought of leaving the nice people you met here but they would understand.

With the enhanced hearing and moving you were able to explore the ground and find a way to sneak out of the place through a door where no guard was.

You ran as fast as you could and after a while you emerged a little village where many cats in their original form and the other form were walking around. Meowing and talking everywhere leaving you fascinated. There was a little market where you saw a couple arguing over something and children playing around.

It was magical and beautiful. Probably more beautiful than the human world could ever be. Cats were watching you with interested eyes and you only realized you were caught when a little girl pulled at the hem of the dress of her mother pointing to you.

„Mummy, look! The lady!“ Oh no! You had to get away quickly or they would tell a guard. You turned around corners and saw the end of the village but before you could sneak out someone grabbed you by your arms and pulled you back.

It was a man with blondish ears and a loose blouse eyeing you suspiciously. „Please, let me go!“ His gaze turns down to your neck and he frowns loosening the grip around your arm.

„You’re the queen. What are you doing here? Without a guard?“

„I - I am not the queen. I have to get out of here. Of this world!“

„You sneaked out of the castle, right?“ You looked away ashamed of being caught and trembling of fear not knowing how San would react.

„Why do you want to go?“

„The king... he wants to marry me but I am here against my own will. I am a human being kidnapped into this world so please cat, have a heart and help me!“

„I think I understand and see your worry. You will adjust. I promise...“ Slowly he turned away something flashing in his eyes you couldn’t point out.

„No, please! I have a life outside of this world! My mum is alone and my friends and...“ Woo Young. It seems like the longer you were in this world the more you forgot about your own.

„Listen, mylady. I am not interested in our kingdom at all and couldn’t care less but if I help you they will probably kill me.“

„They would kill you? I thought cats wouldn’t be so cruel...“

He scoffs at you and looks around if no one is listening to you talking. „The king is merciless. If something gets in his way he...“

„I knew something about him was off... but I don’t think somebody knows that I am gone. They will probably only realize until it’s time for lunch. I have a real chance if you just told me where I can get back to the human world! I am begging you!“

The boy thinks hardly before answering. The portal was only half an hour away in one direction. If they caught him helping the queen to escape he would be so dead... but the desperate look in your eyes warmed his heart.

„For god‘s sake... you’re one persistent person.“ Yeo Sang explained how to leave the cat‘s kingdom and you didn’t wait another second to thank him quickly and speed away.

That necklace on yours would tell everyone who you were. Hopefully none other would cross your way now. He watches you running away with a frown. Good luck...

Your feet hurt by now bow after a while you emerged a forest and entered it with mindful steps. It was dark and you could hear so many things. When you stumbled over a fallen tree you landed perfectly on the ground on all fours and suppressed a laugh. Wow, that was really helpful. You stood up and went deeper and deeper into the woods until you saw something glistening and shining on a meadow.

That had to be the portal!

You run over the grass and stopped in front of it. Holding your hand out you reached for the light but before you can take a step forward something crashes into your side forcefully.

„I have her!“ You try to struggle out of the grip and a hiss leaves your mouth sounding like a very pissed of cat. Soon other person are coming and you can see black ears between them definitely belonging to the one you’re running from.

„Great work, men! Especially you, Min Gi!“

„Ah, thank you mylord!“ The men stands up and quickly other guards are taking your wrists and holding you up. You can see Hong Joong looking concerned at you while San seems to be something between amused and pissed off at the same time. Knowing you failed fear rushes through your system what would happen to you know. San comes up and stands in front of you to let his tail embrace your waist and push you forward to him. He takes your face in his hands and brushes your cheeks with his palms.

„I was so afraid. You seem to have lost your way, my little clumsy kitten.“ He sounded so honest everyone cooed at the two of you but you just gulped and didn’t loose the eye contact with the cat king.

„I am sorry, my king. I am really clumsy. Always been.“ He smiles sickenly sweet down to you and places a long and possessive kiss on your forehead. „And then someone tells you the wrong way, too. Tsk, tsk. There are bad cats out there, (y/n). But we will take care of those that are trying to hurt my beloved ones. I promise you.“

It feels like all colors leaves your face at the thought of the cat that helped against all his concerns.

„Please don’t hurt him.“ San ignored your pleading and takes you into his arms to guide you back to a carriage his tail not leaving your waist any second. Suddenly breathing feels suffocating again.

Back at the castle San enters his chambers with you still by his site and he emerges his king sized bed where he sits you down. He positions his hands on his waist and his ears twitch in annoyance. „I will torture that boy to calm my anger, (y/n). If you try to escape again he’s dead.“ His eyes are dark and you feel your eyes watering at his words.

„My king, please! I won’t try to escape again! I promise! Just don’t hurt him!“ You’re begging him and move to sit down on your knees in front of him but he just scuffs and moves away so your tail cannot long encircle around his legs.

„You should’ve thought about that before you ran so quickly away from my side. I will see you at dinner.“ You were hiccuping and crying for him but the merciless king locked his chambers and made his way to the dungeons. No one got into his way and he always got what he wanted. Yeo Sang knew about that and helped you anyways... What now? You were so close... You curled up on the bed calming down from the crying. How could you get out of this? How long would you still be able to remember your home? Your mum and Jang Mi... and Woo Young. He asked you on a date, right? Would’ve been it today?

„Gosh, Woo Young... Mum. Jang Mi. I am so sorry.“

It had been days you were missing. Woo Young sat on the swing his eyes glued to the sand in front of him. You sat next to him. Right there. You were here. Why did you leave? Did someone take you?

„Shit, (y/l/n) (y/n). Where the heck are you!“

„Problems in paradise?“

Woo Young slowly looks up to see a young man leaning casually against one of the playground furniture. He’s wearing a black hanbok looking very mysterious but he wasn’t much older than the boy himself. A small mobile stand is next to him adorned by many masks of all colors and forms.

„Who are you?“

The young man opens his eyes and tilts his head to the side grinning from ear to ear. „I am the one to help those in need.“

Woo Young scuffs and stands up to leave the playground.

„I know where (y/n) is. Well, more where she’s being hold.“

Woo Young feels a shudder going down his spine and rage rushing through him. He turns around and emerged the man with quick steps to take him by the hem of his hanbok. „You asshole! What have you done to her?“ He hisses out through grilled teeth feeling only more provoked by the latter.

„Hey, friend. Calm down. I have nothing to do with her missing.“ He carefully reaches for Woo Young‘s hand and takes it down.

„There you go. I can help you friend. Only if you are willing to do everything of course...“

„You - why would I trust you?“ Suddenly the man‘s gaze darkens and he chuckles deeply.

„I am your only chance to get her back.“ Woo Young thinks for a second. There were no signs of your leaving and no one has seen something... Maybe it was his only option to take the opportunity.

„Who are you and where is she?“

The smiles is back on the mans face and he takes a mask from his stand to hold it in front of his face and down again. „They call me by Seong Hwa. I am the one that you can also find by the ‚mask seller‘.“

„Daeng, I should’ve know you just want to sell something!“

„Hold up, Woo Young. Why would I know of her and your name? Why would I know you were the last one that saw here and asked her out on a date?“

„That‘s not possible... How can you?“

„I know many things. And I also know where your dear (y/n) has been taken to.“

„Okay, this definitely doesn’t make any sense but let’s play your game. Where is she and how can I get to her?“

„She’s far away. Very far away. In a world we also call the kingdom of cats. And... you can only enter it when you’re a cat yourself.“

„Tsk, and how do I become a cat?“

„It’s easy. This mask can turn you into cat. I will sell it to you and will show you the way. The rest you will have to do yourself.“

„How much?“ Seong Hwa‘s eyes widen. He wouldn’t have thought Woo Young would agree so easily.

„We will talk about the price after you rescued your princess, how about that?“

„Alright.“ With that Seong Hwa hands the mask over to the young boy and motions for him to wear it. When nothing happens Seong Hwa chuckles and pushes the boy so that he does a role and - to all surprises - changes into a small cat. „How magical, right?“ Seong Hwa chuckles darkly and tilts his head in amusement.

─────────────────────

↺ back to navi

─────────────────────

[catboymingi]

wish

navi/masterlist

pairing: hongjoong x reader

genre: some angst if you try really hard, fluff

word count: 4k

warnings: mingi being bad at halloween (this is FLUFF and fluff ONLY)

a/n: would you believe this, something that’s not mingi... who would’ve thought this day would ever come

six years and three months have passed since you last talked to hongjoong. five years and ten months have passed since you moved in with mingi. five years and seven months have passed since you gave birth to your daughter. not even a day has passed since you last missed the man that had once been your everything.

this was your first halloween with your daughter, and it had been neither your nor her idea to celebrate, actually. instead, ‘the best uncle on earth’ (as mingi commonly called himself) had insisted that she now was big enough and that she deserved the candy. you knew, though, that he wanted to dress up more than her, and that he’d most definitely steal your candy, at least. he had a massive sweet spot for your child, so her candy might be safe. might. or you might just have to lock it away. 

you couldn’t be mad at him, though - he was the only one that had been there for you when you got pregnant, that had been there when you’d given birth, that had made it possible, through rigid scheduling and his parents’ money, for you to finish your degree even though you had a daughter at home. it was weird because you hadn’t even really been close before your world came crashing down, but he proved himself to be the biggest help you could ever have asked for. so maybe, he was actually the best uncle on earth.

“are you ready?” of course it was mingi screaming, not your daughter. you’d insisted that she wouldn’t get to go trick-or-treating until she was five, because you knew not everyone was sensible enough to remember that there were small children outside that would get deadly scared at the kind of decoration some people found to be appropriate, and you wanted to prevent her from getting traumatised by random severed hands. but that had also meant that mingi had had to wait for five years to get to have a good excuse for why he got dressed up and excited like this.

“you look ridiculous”, you laughed at the tall man who had proudly told you he’d be a werewolf but looked more like a werepuppy.

“i don’t need your approval when i have toive’s!”, he told you, sticking his tongue out at you despite being 27 years of age. “and she said i look very scary and that she trusts me to protect her from all the bad and evil vampires! now get ready, we want to go!”

you smiled contentedly as you put on your black lipstick, the last little touch needed for your witch costume. you really were glad to have mingi, to have someone that could at least somewhat fill in the role of toive’s father. he made sure that your daughter never lacked anything and, admittedly, spoiled her a little much sometimes, but it was okay because it was done with love.

“done. let’s go?” both the werepuppy and the little piratess that barely reached up to mingi’s waist nodded enthusiastically, and you grabbed the big plastic bags that you’d spent the day painting to look more halloween-y and less grocery store-y.

going trick-or-treating was more fun than you’d expected it to be, your daughter scoring more candy than mingi and you combined by threatening every single person on whose doorbell you rang with having them go on the plank if they didn’t hand over all their candy.

“it’s unfair”, your best friend whined out when toive had once more scored twice the amount of candy as him and you combined, “when she threatens people it’s cute but if i threaten people i bet they’d call the police!”

“that’s because you’re a giant that could break my arm without effort”, you explained to him, laughing at his exasperation. it was just candy, but you knew he had a sweet tooth - she’d probably gotten it from him, even though they weren’t even related. bad influence. but it was cute, too, how happy and excited they both were, the excitement carrying over to you even though you’d insisted you weren’t a fan of halloween at all. but how could you not get excited when both of them were near vibrating with joy? your two favourite people were having so much fun and seeing them happy was all you needed to be happy yourself.

that happiness didn’t last long, however, when you rang on another doorbell, not thinking much of the surname ‘kim’ - near half of south korea’s population was called kim, so it didn’t even occur to you that it might be a very specific kim, a kim whose condom had ripped six years ago and had subsequently caused you not only the hardest time in your life but also more happiness than you’d ever thought possible once your little darling was born. a kim whom you’d never even told, because he’d had to move away before you even found out you were pregnant, and whom you didn’t want to hold back from his dream, so you just broke things off with him instead, claiming you were going back to finland. but it was this very specific kim, it was kim hong joong who opened the door for you and sent your heart into a frenzy.

“shit!”, you cursed out as soon as you saw his face, recognised him even behind his eye patch and fake beard, momentarily forgetting that your daughter very much should not be hearing curses yet, but luckily mingi got your back.

“shiny lights!”, he chimed in as soon as he heard the first few letters of the inappropriate word leaving your lips, successfully distracting toive from the fact that you were incredibly out of it, pointing to all the little lanterns in hongjoong’s garden. her eyes lit up, admiring the pumpkins he’d carved, and you were grateful that he’d put so much effort into decorating his lawn because it distracted her enough for you to have a few moments to collect yourself.

“y/n?” of course he’d recognised you, too, it would’ve been too good to be true if he hadn’t. and then his eyes went to mingi and toive, and you started panicking. he couldn’t accurately guess how old she was, but your reaction and the way you’d broken things off without ever even having hinted at you wanting to go back to europe back then made him suspect that she was his.

“your daughter?”, he asked, and you thanked the heavens that he had enough common sense to be silent so she’d not hear. you just nodded, not trusting your voice right now, and his next question sent even more panic jolting through your body.

“mine?”

now you had to talk, because she was here and mingi wouldn’t be able to distract her forever, and you couldn’t sort all this now. you couldn’t.

“not now. i’ll give you my number and you can text me, and we’ll meet tomorrow or something, but please, for her, not now.” and because he was still as kind and understanding as he’d always been he nodded, getting out his phone and saving your contact before getting your darling’s attention, pretending he didn’t have any kind of connection to you or her.

“hey, little pirate! have you found a treasure yet?” she turned around with so much energy that she’d have landed on her butt if mingi hadn’t caught her, then she came back to where you were still standing at the door.

“you’re a pirate, too!” she admired his big hat and the plastic sword dangling from his side, and he nodded.

“the scariest pirate in all of the seven seas. i have so many treasures i don’t even know what to do with them all. would you do me a favour and take a little gold from me, mate?” and he leaned down with a smile, holding the bowl filled with chocolate gold coins out to her.

“can i?” she looked up at you with the biggest puppy eyes and you couldn’t help the smile spreading on your face. and hongjoong noticed it, too, noticed the fond expression and his heart hurt a little at the thought that this precious little gem might be his daughter, and at the memory of the heartbreak he’d gone through back then.

“but you need to ask the captain how much you can take”, you told her and her little head bobbed up and down as she nodded enthusiastically.

“captain, sir, how much gold may i take?” and she was so precious that he was about to just hand her the entire bowl. but the last little bit of reason left in him told him that then he’d not have anything for the other kids that would inevitably come, so he had to restrain himself.

“how about you two swordfight and the winner decides?”, mingi suggested, mainly just wanting to buy you some time to check up on you. he knew that hongjoong was the father, of course he knew, and he knew that the man didn’t know. so this situation had to be really hard on you.

he didn’t know if it was because hongjoong sensed what he wanted to do or if he really just wanted to play more with toive, but he immediately agreed, getting out his sword to fight the little piratess, ‘arg’s and ‘urg’s to be heard from them while mingi put his hand on your shoulder before pulling you into a hug.

“you okay?”, he asked quietly, and you nodded, even though you weren’t sure if you actually were.

“he didn’t make me talk it out now, so that’s all i could ask for. i’ll probably have to tell him tomorrow”, you all but whispered into his shoulder, holding his biceps tightly to ground yourself a little as you felt the panic hit you again.

“you know he’s nice. and if he isn’t, i’ll beat his ass.” and had it been anyone else you’d thought this threat was just to make you feel better, but because you’d lived with this man for so long now you knew that he absolutely would.

“thanks”, you said before disattaching yourself, walking back to where the two pirates were still fighting. but when hongjoong saw you come back he took the final blow, sinking to the ground as if he’d received a deadly hit.

“you were a worthy opponent, little pirate. now it is up to you how much gold you will take from me.” and toive’s eyes shone brighter than the lamps surrounding you and the fake gold in his bowl as she put both her little hands in and grabbed as much as she could take - which, admittedly, wasn’t much, so mingi decided to help out because his hands were about as big as your head.

“you won, you deserve the reward”, he told your daughter as he scooped an entire handfull into her bag. he glared at hongjoong as he did so, a warning to not fuck up, and suddenly he did look like a werewolf rather than an adorable werepuppy. but his expression softened as soon as he looked at your darling that was his darling just as much, and the other man could tell that he cared. so at least the girl hadn’t had to miss out on anything.

you left for the next house soon after, your daughter and her costume twin ‘arrr mate’ing at each other, and again the tall man proved to be your hero as he pointed at another decoration to get her attention away from you and your ex-love for a little so you could decently say goodbye, because he could tell you needed that.

“i’ll text you soon”, hongjoong told you, and you nodded.

“thank you.” he knew for what. for not causing a scene even though he had all right to, technically, because your daughter didn’t have to see that. shouldn’t have to see that. and then you left, again, and he felt his heart break just a little as your form disappeared.

it was thanks to the werewolf that the night continued to go smoothly until it was time to head home, and he tucked toive into bed while you took a moment to yourself in the bathroom, wiping off your makeup as you tried to calm your rapid heartbeat. then you joined the two of them in her room, pressing a little kiss onto her forehead and promising that you’d hexed all the bad dreams so they couldn’t haunt her, and mingi promised her that he’d bite any vampire that tried to come close.

once she’d fallen asleep you left for the living room, him staying by your side as you grabbed your phone, knuckles white from the force you used as you gripped it. he put a hand on your leg in comfort as you unlocked it, and of course hongjoong had already messaged.

[unknown]: this is hongjoong

[unknown]: tomorrow, 10am, playground?

[unknown]: /location/

you sighed, then replied.

[y/n]: you know im not bringing toive

and his message appeared almost immediately after, as if he’d been staring at his phone ever since he first texted you.

[unknown]: yeah

[unknown]: but i remember you liked them. said they were calm

he was right. even before your daughter had lit up the playground with her bright smile you’d loved spending time there, sitting on the swings and staring up at the sky whenever you had something to talk about. that feeling had never left, even though you now had yet another reason to love playgrounds.

[y/n]: ill be there

and even though hongjoong wanted nothing more in that moment than to tell you that he missed you he knew he shouldn’t, so he left you on read instead, though both his thoughts and his heart were racing.

while he hadn’t been able to await the next day it came all too soon for you, and mingi once more promised that if hongjoong pulled any shit he’d beat his ass into next week. he was babysitting toive today, had promised her a movie and candy day so she wouldn’t miss you, and you couldn’t be more grateful to have him. maybe she didn’t have a father, and you didn’t have a partner, but the two of you had him, and he more than made up for it, even though it had cost him several dates. you were his priority, and you loved him for that.

the man was already waiting at the playground when you arrived, early as always and beautiful as always. he wasn’t wearing the pirate costume today, but neither were you dressed up as a witch, both of you looking casual but differently so. he looked purposefully casual, while you looked like you’d rolled out of bed and just put on whatever, dressed just to not be naked. and that was a pretty good representation of your emotional state - you just came here completely unprepared, you came because you had to. and you were scared.

“hey”, he greeted you quietly, but instead of greeting back you just burst out: “she’s yours.”

there was a moment of tense silence before he replied.

“i already guessed so. from the way you were acting.” you nodded; there wasn’t really anything to say to that, anyway.

“you’re doing alright? mingi’s taking care of you?” of course he remembered mingi, the goofy tall guy that you’d spent quite some time with, but he knew you hadn’t been as close to him back then as you obviously were now. he got an explanation though when you began talking.

“yeah, he’s been there ever since i found out. big scary guy, threatening aura, keeping me from the worst when i couldn’t really hide it anymore. he let me move in right away and he’s basically like a dad for toive now.”

it was a lot of information to take in at once, so he tried to find something small to focus on.

“her name’s toive?”

“it means ‘wish’”, you elaborated. “i was horrified as shit the entire pregnancy, so i hadn’t even come up with a name yet when i delivered. but as soon as i saw her i knew she was a wish come true. so i just called her that.”

“it’s a beautiful name.” you knew it was. it reminded you of the home you’d left behind to build yourself a new one, and it reminded you that sometimes the most unexpected things could be what your heart wished for. it reminded you to keep going, because you wanted to make her every wish come true. it was a very fitting name.

“she’s a beautiful girl.”

you saw him smile at that, smile at the memory of the little piratess he’d fought with the night before. but then he asked the question you’d dreaded most.

“why didn’t you ever tell me? you know i would’ve been there for you.”

a sigh left your lips, because of course you knew. and that was exactly why you hadn’t told him.

“when i found out you’d already moved. you were thriving and i couldn’t bring myself to hold you back like this. you deserved to live your life as you wanted to without having to worry about a family you never asked for.”

“did you ask for it?”, he asked you, and you shook your head. as much as you loved the little family you’d built with mingi, you hadn’t asked for this to happen.

“and would you want to go back to change this?” you shook your head again, and he grabbed your hand.

“so why do you think i would’ve regretted it? would’ve not wanted to know?”

you had no answer to that. maybe because back then you’d still been convinced the pregnancy would ruin your life, so it didn’t occur to you that he might not feel the same way. that he genuinely might want to be there.

“can i be there now?”

“you can get to know her, if you want to. but she doesn’t know you, doesn’t know who you are, and i’ll have to figure out how to tell her. so you can’t be there as her dad, not yet and maybe never, if she doesn’t want you in her life. if you can’t accept that, if you can’t put her first, i don’t want you there.”

he took in your words and nodded. he’d last seen you six years ago, so obviously she’d spent quite some time without knowing about him at all, and he knew he couldn’t just barge in and act like he’d been there all her life. he was a stranger, even though that hurt a little.

“does she have a dad?” and even though his phrasing was a little weird you understood what he meant. he wanted to know if mingi was her father, if not legally or physically then emotionally.

“she has an uncle that would lay down the world for her. and that won’t hesitate to break a few bones if she gets hurt, just so you know.” but you were smiling, finally starting to relax a little.

“i don’t doubt it for a second”, he chuckled, “he seemed about ready to kill me at the door. he really cares about you two, doesn’t he?”

you nodded, smile growing bigger at the mention of the taller man, and hongjoong felt a small sting when you told him how you’d never want to miss him, how mingi was as much a part of your life as toive was, how it was so clear that you belonged together.

“do you love him?” he didn’t know why he asked. he didn’t know why he hoped you’d say no. he didn’t know why he cared and he didn’t know why the thought of you being with mingi made his chest feel tight. he hadn’t seen or talked to you in years, so why did he hope that he still held a place in your heart? why did you still hold a place in his?

“i do, of course i do”, you told him, at least as surprised at his question as he was. “he’s like a brother, he’s been there all this time and it’s only thanks to him that i’m where i am today. but i don’t love him the way i loved you, if that’s what you meant.”

“you loved me?”

you didn’t understand why he sounded so startled about that. the two of you had gotten together pretty much right after you started university, and you’d been together for more than a year when he moved, planning to stay together for many more until life decided that it had other plans. of course you’d loved him. part of you still did.

“you were the first person i ever wanted a future with like that. of course i loved you. you meant everything to me.”

“i wish you’d never left.” his voice was very quiet, pained, made you want to hold him and apologise, but you didn’t know if that’d be okay with him.

“i missed you everyday. even yesterday, i still missed you. it’s dumb, but even though it’s been six years i still hoped you’d somehow come back into my life. and here you are, so maybe it’s not that dumb.”

now there was no stopping your arms from going around his waist, your face pressed to that one spot between his neck and his shoulder that had always felt like it was made for this purpose only, as you quietly told him you’d missed him too.

“it was so hard to watch toive grow up to be more and more like you but not having you there to see it, too. when she’d start asking about her dad and i could only tell her stories even though i knew she wanted a real dad, like all the other kids. and all the stories i told, they kept me from ever getting over you, but i knew it wouldn’t be fair to keep even that from her just because i was hurting.”

hongjoong was holding you tightly, a hand in your hair and the other pressing you against his chest because he didn’t want you to go again.

“let me be a dad. and let me be there for you too.”

his words made you look up at him in surprise, because they sounded so soft and gentle and full of an emotion you didn’t think you’d ever get from him again, not directed towards you, at least.

“for me?”

and he was looking at you, eyes wandering from your forehead to your chin, not leaving out a single detail. you’d matured, but you were still just as beautiful.

“i didn’t stop loving you. still haven’t.”

his words surprised you, even though you hadn’t stopped loving him either. you didn’t know what to make of them, what he wanted you to do now. what he’d expected to happen now that he’d said this.

“can i kiss you?” of course he asked. he was still the same hongjoong, the same gentleman, the same man that always made sure whatever he was doing was okay with you before he tried, and he still caused the same butterflies to fly around in your stomach. but now you had someone else to put first, you couldn’t risk falling back in love with him, hopelessly so, only for it to end badly. you couldn’t risk that when you had a child.

“only if you mean it. and not just now, but every single day. only if you can promise that you won’t hurt me and, most importantly, that whatever happens between us won’t ever hurt my daughter. our daughter. can you promise that?”

“i promise.” and he’d never been more sure of anything.

“then kiss me.”

he did. he kissed you like you were the most precious thing in the world and he kissed you as if he wanted to prove that he meant it, that he loved you and had already fallen in love with his daughter and that he’d even learn to love mingi as part of his family. he kissed you as if to make up for the past six years when he couldn’t, and you kissed him back as if to make up for every moment you’d kept his daughter from him. you kissed each other like you were in love, and you were.

and finally, you got the happy ending you’d been wishing for ever since you first saw the positive pregnancy test. finally, you got a family with the love of your life. and finally, he got to stay with you.

[pixieminutes]

Uncertain | KHJ

genre: angst, fluff, mafia!au

members: kim hongjoong x reader, brother!jung wooyoung, choi jongho, park seonghwa, jeong yunho

warnings: swearing, walking out

5th July, 2018

“i’m y/n,” you smiled.

“and she is my sister! which means that if any of you lay a hand on her–” wooyoung pulled his gun out of his pocket and smiled sweetly, “there we go.”

you laughed slightly, only hitting him when you saw he’d put the gun fully back into his pocket.

“and why is she here?” a man asked.

he had a mullet, dyed light brown and his ears were full of earrings.

“that’s hongjoong,” wooyoung whispered, “our leader.”

hongjoong raised his eyebrows at wooyoung expectantly and your brother coughed, spluttering his words out.

“well– she– i– you know,” wooyoung took a deep breath, “she’s here because i don’t want her to stay with our parents. if any of you had little siblings, you’d do the same, right?”

“wrong,” jongho said, “it’s actually my little siblings who are the evil ones. if i could get my parents away, i would. but, they won’t leave.”

wooyoung rolled his eyes, “except you.”

hongjoong sighed, “she can stay. she can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with us. we have a room on the top floor and remind her she doesn’t need to clean any rooms.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, scoffing at hongjoong, “you know i’m right here, don’t you?”

wooyoung widened his eyes, beginning to drag you away by your shoulders, “ah, she’s joking hong—”

“no, it’s okay,” hongjoong chuckled, walking over so he was only centimetres away from your face, “she’s brave. i like it.”

“i’m not brave, i’m just calling you out,” you scoffed, “and sorry but, where’s my room? i kinda need a nap right now.”

hongjoong scoffed, nodding his head, grabbing your arm gently, “come with me.”

“i meant it hongjoong!” wooyoung called after the two of you.

hongjoong pulled the gun out of his pocket, not taking his attention off of your conversation.

wooyoung just rolled his eyes.

9th February, 2020

“where are you going?” you called.

hongjoong turned back to you, smiling sweetly with no meaning, “i’m going to get ice cream and frolick in the park.”

you rolled your eyes, sighing, “i was just asking.”

“i’m going out.”

“yes, but where?” you pushed.

“does it matter to you?!” hongjoong exclaimed, “jesus christ, can i not even leave without you bugging me?!”

you looked back to the clock in the kitchen, 19:14.

“fine,” you laughed dryly, “go. i won’t stay up.”

“no one asked you to.”

“be safe!” you called, “wherever the fuck you’re going.”

only three months after you’d moved in with ateez, you and hongjoong had made moves to take you far beyond just friends, despite wooyoung’s words. who was wooyoung to fight, though? his gang’s leader dating his sister was only to end in good things for him, especially with how much joy you brought to hongjoong.

brought. past tense.

since then, just under two years had passed and it had somewhat changed.

the hard, mafia leader hongjoong, who you managed to melt away until he was simply your boyfriend, had somehow bounced back.

now? you laid in bed alone, cold, and, underlining everything; lonely.

12th February, 2020

“where’s wooyoung?” hongjoong asked.

the six other members looked at each other, slight shrugs and shakes of their heads going between them before hongjoong shouted out, groaning loudly.

“where the fuck is that boy?!” he yelled, “i’ve had it with the jung family!”

“i’m here! hongjoong! i’m here! sorry!” wooyoung exclaimed, running in the room and sitting in his spot beside jongho.

“explanation?” hongjoong said simply, raising one eyebrow as he looked to the panting boy.

“there was a girl in my bed this morning,” wooyoung said, still trying to get his breath back, “it was not easy to explain why i had to go.”

hongjoong laughed cruely, “there was a girl in my bed this morning too. your sister. and just because your sister is in my bed, does not mean you get to fucking slack! do you understand?”

hongjoong’s voice was quiet, but exasperated, and it sent shivers down all the boys’ spines.

wooyoung nodded, gravely, “yes, hongjoong.”

“good,” he spat, “then we’ll continue.”

~

“what did you mean you’ve had it with the jung family?” seonghwa asked, “everything okay?”

“being particularly nosey, are we seonghwa?” hongjoong sighed.

seonghwa rolled his eyes, “no! i’m fucking worried about you, man! i don’t want your girl at home to be unsatisfying. that’s the worst thing a mafia leader could deal with.”

hongjoong scoffed, “it is, isn’t it?”

seonghwa laughed and nudged hongjoong’s shoulder, “so? care to tell me?”

“she’s just so fucking annoying,” hongjoong cried, “she’s so clingy and she always wants to cuddle?! like literally a couple weeks ago she came and climbed on my lap while i was working so we could cuddle. while i was working!”

seonghwa grimaced, “god. have you told her?”

“no. i’m trying to be a dick so i can let her down slowly. make her not want me until we’re at a mutual place.”

seonghwa nodded, the plan was cruel, but probably the best one a mafia leader could have come up with.

“what about wooyoung?” seonghwa asked.

“what about him?”

“well doesn’t it become a bit fucking awkward after you’ve hit it and quit it with his sister?”

hongjoong rolled his eyes, scoffing, “if he has a problem with it, he can leave. i’ll give her enough money to buy her own place, so she’ll be fine.”

seonghwa gasped, “wow! really? god, hongjoong, you’re so kind! i should be more like you.”

hongjoong smiled, “i try.”

27th February, 2020

“hongjoong,” you whined, leaving the warmth and comfort of your bed, seeing your boyfriend still sat at his desk, “why aren’t you in bed?”

“unlike some of us, i have to work, y/n,” hongjoong spat.

you pouted, “you stressed? you sound it. hold on, i’ll make you a warm drink.”

hongjoong went to protest, but you had already left the room. he sighed, he didn’t want a fucking hot drink, he wanted to be left alone.

you hummed as you made the chai tea, a special recipe you’d concocted yourself. using milk and spices and tea, it filled the house with a comforting smell and warmed you up to no end.

you put a couple of the egg tarts you’d made the previous day on a plate and poured the tea into a mug, walking back into hongjoong’s office and setting them beside him.

“it’s late you know,” you sighed.

hongjoong gritted his teeth, looking up at you with a piercing look.

you seemed oblivious, looking curiously round his office, you’d never stayed in here for long.

“i know you know that, though,” you chuckled, “i’m going back to bed, okay? don’t be too long.”

you approached your boyfriend, the man almost ready to burst at any second until you placed the tiniest kiss on his temple, leaving the room again, hongjoong hearing your bare feet pad up the stairs.

he looked at the plate and cup in front of him, taking a sip from the tea, a slight smile raised his lips. it reminded him of you, though he wasn’t sure why.

he sighed, leaning forward and taking a bite of the egg tart, “thank you.”

6th March, 2020

you sighed, watching your boyfriend leave again, for the fourth time that week.

picking up your phone, you pressed your brother’s contect, holding it to your ear as you walked upstairs to find the little belongings that belonged solely to you.

“what’s up!” wooyoung laughed, “i miss you, y/n.”

you sighed, “yeah, well you might be seeing me sooner than you think.”

“huh?” wooyoung asked, panic laced in his voiced, “w-what do you mean?”

a tear fell from your eye as you packed only the clothes you owned previous to knowing hongjoong, looking around your shared bedroom.

“i can’t do it,” you said, your voice shaky as you shook your head, “god, woo, i can’t— it’s like he doesn’t even know i’m here. i’m more like his maid. just for cooking and cleaning and fucking whenever he pleases.”

wooyoung sighed, unable to think of any words to say.

“every time i try and help him, i just have no reply,” you said, “i can’t do it anymore. i can’t help him. i actually think he might be heartless.”

“are you going to come here?” wooyoung asked.

he sounded fed-up, and just that thought alone made your heart sink. you felt bad. you felt so bad. but being with woo, it was just going to be better than ever being with hongjoong. you weren’t stupid.

“if that’s okay,” you said with a sigh, “i’ll find somewhere else as soon as possible.”

“it’s fine, y/n,” wooyoung said, “you coming now?”

“yeah,” you nodded, “yeah, i just need to write a note. i’m sorry if this gets you in any kind of—”

“don’t,” wooyoung said, “it’s fine. it’ll be awkward but, as long as i don’t do anything, he won’t.”

you nodded, “well. i’ll see you in a bit.”

wooyoung hummed, quickly hanging up.

you sighed, heading down to the kitchen, pulling the bag with you. you poured out a cup of homemade chai tea and the last remaining egg tart from the most recent batch. you quickly scribbled a note and left it underneath.

“ah!” you exclaimed, turning back only seconds after you began to leave, picking up the pen, “p.s. microwave the tea for 1 minute 40 seconds. that’s how you like it. y/n.”

you sighed, finally stepping out the front door once and for all. this was it. no regrets.

~

“i’m home,” hongjoong sighed, knowing that with the time on the clock you’d already have gone to bed.

he walked into the kitchen, scoffing as he saw the tea and the tart.

“what’s this?” he muttered, ripping the note out from underneath the plate, grabbing the tart as well so he could eat as he read.

hi hongjoong. welcome home i guess.

when you go upstairs, don’t expect to find me. i love you joong, i really do, but i can’t do this anymore. i try to love and care for you but all you do is push me further away.

maybe that was your plan. you’re just cruel like that, aren’t you? i should have expected it really, dating a mafia leader. still. i thought you’d changed. i guess not.

thanks for a happy two years hongjoong. i love you.

- y/n

p.s. microwave the tea for 1 minute 40 seconds. that’s how you like it - y/n

hongjoong dropped the note, looking to the tea and the tart in front of him. this was what he wanted. this is what he was trying to do, but now he wasn’t sure.

he rushed upstairs, going into the bedroom where, sure enough, you weren’t.

on every normal day he’d come home, he’d walk into the bedroom, switch the light on, switch it off when he realised you were asleep, shake your snow globe and kiss you once before going downstairs to continue work.

now, however, he could turn the light on, artificially brightening the room, and not have to turn it back off. you weren’t there.

he turned to look at the snow globe, one you’d bought when hongjoong took you to disneyland for your 100 day anniversary. it wasn’t there.

hongjoong walked downstairs limply, no thoughts running through his head as he came back in the kitchen, placing the tea in the microwave for 1 minute and 40 seconds, slowly eating the egg tart as he waited and thought.

this is what he wanted. he’d planned it all out in his head. but now it had happened, now his plan had worked and you had gone. was this really it?

...maybe that was your plan. you’re just cruel like that, aren’t you?

hongjoong swore as he crouched down, holding his face in his hands. yes, he was cruel. he was so, so cruel and now he was left to suffer in the aftermath by himself. alone.

15th March, 2020

“morning,” wooyoung said, a slight smile as he handed you a cup of coffee, “how you feeling?”

you sighed, your eyes filling with tears as you looked back on the situations of the past week. although you were the one who walked out, and he was the one who did wrong, a small part of you couldn’t help but want him to come and find you.

“not well, huh?” your brother said, patting your head slightly, “it’s okay. heartbreak sucks.”

“like you’d know!” you exclaimed.

“what’s that supposed to mean!” wooyoung shouted.

“ya! don’t shout at me!” you shouted.

“you’re doing it to me too!”

“um, guys?” yunho said, knocking at the door slightly, “y/n, there’s someone here for you.”

“for me?” you asked, getting out of bed, a confused look on your face, “well i guess i did tell nari about the situation.”

yunho shook his head, “it’s not nari. just go. i think you’ll be glad.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, watching as he walked away, before making your own way to the front door.

“hello?” you asked, seeing no one there.

you poked your head round, and saw a figure sat on the swinging chair outside. a figure you know all too well.

“y/n,” he said, “ca– can we talk? for a bit?”

you sighed, pushing the door closed behind you and walking to sit next to him.

“i guess you got my note,” you said.

hongjoong sighed, nodding, “yeah.”

it fell silent, as you saw hongjoong fiddle with his fingers and take several deep breaths, as though he was trying to psych himself up.

“i– i—” hongjoong stuttered, before sighing and trying again, “i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry, y/n, you have no idea.”

your eyes filled with tears again as you looked forward, trying not to let him see.

“truthfully, i did think it would be better for you to leave but then you did leave and now i don’t know why!” he said, sniffling slightly and as you turned, you could see he was wiping away a couple tears secretly, “i’m an idiot. i know i am.”

you chuckled humourlessly, staring down at both of your feet. hongjoong was wearing his doc martens, you: your inside slippers.

“and i understand what i’ve done, so i understand if you wouldn’t take me back,” hongjoong said, nodding solemly as your eyes went to his face, watching for his expression, “but it’s been over a week now. it’s been eight days. and i have done zero work because every day i get home and i cry so hard because you’re not there. and every little thing that i didn’t want you to do before– i– i miss it so much.”

a tear fell down his face and you wiped it away, giving up on trying to control your own.

“i want you to come and make me tea and pastries and i want you to come and sit on my lap while i work and i want you to cuddle me when we’re asleep and i want you to clean me up after i’ve got wounds from a mission. i want it all! i want you.”

you sighed, “you didn’t like it before.”

hongjoong sniffled, tucking some hair behind your ear, “i did. god, i did. but after that defeat from stray kids, i felt inferior and so– so i brought the mafia leader image home as well. i wasn’t being kim hongjoong with you. but i am now, i am kim hongjoong and i want you back in my life. please.”

you wiped away his tears, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“truthfully? i’ve been waiting for you every day since i left,” you sighed, “i didn’t even take all my stuff.”

hongjoong chuckled, “i thought you did that to be cruel.”

you laughed, climbing onto his lap, the way you used to when he was working, “i missed you, hongjoong. and i don’t just mean in the past week.”

hongjoong nodded, “i missed you, in the past week, more than i’ve ever missed someone before. but... i know, and i missed me too. i’m so, so glad to be back.”

you chuckled, kissing him again, “it’s good to see you again, hongjoong-ah. don’t go away again. promise?”

hongjoong smiled, linking his pinky finger with yours.

“i promise.”

[shining-red-diamond]

Ch. 10: Something More Valuable

Cast of Characters//Ch. 1//Ch. 2//Ch. 3//Ch. 4//Ch. 5//Ch. 6//Ch. 7//Ch. 8//Ch. 9//Ch. 10//Ch. 11//Ch. 12//Ch. 13//Ch. 14//Ch. 15//Ch. 16//Ch. 17//Ch. 18//Ch. 19//Ch. 20//Ch. 21//Ch. 22//Ch. 23//Ch. 24//Ch. 25//Ch. 26//Ch. 27//Ch. 28 (coming soon)

Words: 1352

Pairing: OT8 x OCs, Hongjoong x Dahae

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: brief sensuality

A/N: Italics means they’re speaking Korean

Evening rolled around, and with everyone on different sides of the diamond situation Hongjoong had everyone eat with their significant others’, Yunho and Jongho eating alone. The crew typically ate together on the deck, but this was one of those rare occasions where they ate separately to avoid any heated arguments. Hongjoong wanted everyone to have a chance to cool down whenever everyone started taking sides. Although the crew had agreed not to argue in this situation, the captain wanted to avoid any slip-ups. He needed his crew focused on preparing for the quest. The necklace would be dealt with later.

It was Yunho’s turn to do the dishes that night. After each crewmember brought their plates and silverware, he immediately got to work.

When he was in the middle of rinsing the fourth or fifth plate, a hard knock sounded from the side of the ship. Yunho turned off the water, dried his hands on his apron, and left the kitchen to answer who was by the ship. He punched in the code for the door to open and found Dalia standing outside.

“Oh, hello, Yunho,” she greeting with a smile, her caramel skin glowing under the dim dock lights.

“Hi,” he answered as he brushed his hair out of his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Is the captain here?”

“Yes. Is something wrong?”

Dalia glanced behind her, and then looked back at him. She pulled a standard-sized, yellow envelope out of her jacket and handed it to him. “I could get fired for this, but I think you and the crew will need this.”

“What is it?” Yunho asked as he took the envelope. His hand lightly brushed hers, and he tried to blush.

“It’ll explain everything,” she replied. “But keep it safe. It’s a tool that will come in handy on your journey.”

Yunho tried to open the envelope, but Dalia stopped him. “Not here. Let the captain open it when you’re all alone.”

“Okay,” he nodded in agreement.

“I must go, but I’ll see you soon.” She pecked his cheek before dashing off into the night.

Dumbfounded with his heart picking up its pace, Yunho stood there frozen. He had just met the professor’s assistant yesterday, and he already had received a kiss from her. However, he didn’t know if should say he was in love with her. For all her knew, it could have been just the idea of having a pretty woman on his arm that sent his mind racing. Therefore, it could have been a crush.

Although he and the captain were raised by Hongjoong’s father, the boys were always taught to respect women and to cherish their future spouses as precious gemstones.

After finally regaining mobility, he closed the door and turned to the direction of the captain’s quarters.

-

Both Dahae and Hongjoong were silent as they busied themselves with their own tasks. Dahae was sitting in her chair by the coffee table and taking notes on what to do if certain animals attacked them in each location they would be exploring. The captain sat at his desk and was finalizing his route before calling San and Mingi to set it into the ship’s navigation system. The two typically made small talk as they jotted down their thoughts, but when Hongjoong was focused, a peep never escaped his lips. Some movements of word formations were there, but it was his way of talking to himself when the gears in his brain were turning.

A sudden knock on their door made them both jump.

“Who is it?” Hongjoong asked.

“Delivery for Kim Hong Joong,” Yunho’s voiced answered.

Dahae stood from her chair and went to the door. Once she opened it, a blushing and smiling Yunho stepped in, holding a yellow envelope in his hands.

“Are you okay?” Dahae asked.

“Y-Yeah,” the cook stuttered. “Uh…the p-professor’s assistant brought this.”

“Dalia?” She took the envelope and gave it to the captain, whom was now standing next to her.

“She didn’t tell me what was in it. She just said it would help us and to keep it safe.”

Hongjoong opened the flag and peaked inside. From what he could tell, it was a bunch of papers bound together with string.

“Alright,” he said. “Thanks, Yunho.”

The younger man bowed before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

“Is he okay?” Hongjoong asked as he placed the envelope on his desk.

Dahae chuckled as she moved closer to her fiancé. “I think when Dalia came by with whatever she brought, she must have kissed Yunho before leaving.”

Hongjoong met Dahae’a eye and smirked. “How could you tell?”

Her hand rested on his cheek. “Because you had a similar reaction when I first kissed you, baby.”

This made him chuckle at the memory. Back when it was just him, Yunho, and Dahae, he had invited her on the deck one evening to have a picnic under the stars. When they had finished their meal, he turned on Frank Sinatra for a slow dance. She had gotten caught up in the moment that she subconsciously pecked his cheek, and Hongjoong had turned into a blushing, giggly mess for about an hour afterwards.

Sliding his hands around Dahae’s waist, he whispered in her ear, “I think my kissing you skills have improved since, hm?”

“Have they now?” she giggled. “Show me then.”

Immediately, Hongjoong pressed his lips against Dahae’s in a passionate kiss. Her arms flew around his neck as their lips danced in a steady rhythm, and he pulled her closer to him. The kisses deepened, and Dahae felt her body heat rise. Her heart started racing when his lips trailed from hers down to the crook of her neck. Hongjoong returned to her lips, but before he could continue Dahae stopped him.

“Don’t you need to set the course for the ship?” she said.

“Right,” Hongjoong nodded.

Kissing her one last time, he let go, gathered his notes from his notes, and headed towards the door. Just before he walked out of the room, he turned back towards his fiancée and said with a wink, “We’ll continue when I get back, my love.”

-

“Since Italy is closest,” Hongjoong explained to the pilot and navigator, “we’ll start there. After that, we’ll head over to Egypt. Then we’ll head east to India, and then to New York. Colorado will be our last stop.”

San immediately used his compass and maps to calculate their path, and Mingi typed it into the autopilot system and set it to where he would drive the ship at a certain time the next morning.

“And I’ll talk to Dinah about setting up the weather protection for tonight and tomorrow,” Mingi added.

“Alright, you’re free to go,” the captain excused him. “I want to talk to you for a minute, San.”

Mingi left with his notebook full of pilot’s notes, and San stood straighter. “Something wrong?” he asked.

“How is Celestia feeling?” Hongjoong lowered his voice. “I don’t think Taeran meant to worry your wife about the whole necklace situation.”

“It’s okay,” San reassured with a forgiving smile. “She came and apologized after dinner. It’s just that Celestia and I lost a lot the night her family was murdered. All we had were some clothes, valuable items, and money her mother gave us. The necklace means a lot us but mostly her. It’s her way of feeling that she always has them with her.”

“I understand, but I want you two to know that we’re your family as well.”

“And we wholeheartedly appreciate it.”

San paused for a second, seemingly in thought. “I did discuss the matter with her again. She’s a little apprehensive about giving up the necklace, but if it’s a key to figuring this puzzle we’re all in then she’ll hand it over.”

Hongjoong just nodded. “Well, if we can, we’ll try to somehow get it back to you.”

San smiled. “Thank you, but if the baby comes before then, it won’t matter. Diamonds are beautiful, but it’s replaceable. Our little baby is much more precious to us.”

[shining-carat98]

Tagged!

Tagged by @multikpopworld! Thanks, doll!💕

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

A: age | 19 WOW

B: birthplace | New Jersey

C: current time | 3:07 pm

D: drink you had last | Coffee hehe

E: easiest person to talk to | Honestly @diamond-encrusted-sebongies seems to makes it really nice and easy to talk about what's on my mind, even though I haven't discussed every thing, I feel like I can come to her when I'm having a hard time. c:

F: favorite song | Tooooo many! SEVENTEEN's Trauma really gets to me so probably that right now.

G: grossest memory | I saw an old photo of me back 7 years ago YIKES it's a bad memory rn

H: hogwarts house | Slytherin (@ joshua hong my Slytherin boy YES💚)

I: in love? | Oh yes with SEVENTEEN mhm mhm especially with Mr. Joshua Hong??? Bless

J: jealous of people? | Maybe a little? Depends on the situation I suppose

K: killed someone | Mind yah business smh NAH lol I have not

L: love at first sight or should I walk by again? | LOL maybe walk by again~ hehe

M: middle name | None

N: number of siblings | 2 sisters and 4 brothers dang mom

O: one wish | To be happy

P: person you called last | My dad

Q: question you are always asked | Hmmm in school it was always "why are you so quiet?" LOL I'm not sure about now though

R: reasons to smile | I'm gonna be real with y'all, my depression and anxiety make it hard, but my friends and sisters and idols and favorite songs are great enough to make me smile. As well as fun places I like!

S: song you sang last | Ladies Code's The Rain

T: time you woke up | 7am rip

U: underwear color | Grey ha

V: vacation destination | Hmm maybe anywhere where I have friends! I have a friend in Ireland, so that's def one place! Maybe Seoul, it'd be cool to look around there!

W: worst habit | I bit my nails a lot! I've got quite a few bad habits

X: x-rays | I think one when I was younger and hurt my foot

Y: your favorite food | I like a lot! Something I especially like is fried pork rice!

Z: zodiac sign | Leo♌

Ultimate bias: I want to say it's SEVENTEEN's Joshua but at the same time I love the whole group with all my heart and Ladies Code's Ashley out here trying to snatch me up too ahh💕

Ultimate bias wrecker: Oooh idk! Tbh maybe Kim Jae Joong!

Favorite kpop song: Too many to choose from!

First kpop song: I don't remember, but I think it was a song from DBSK, Younha, SHINee, or Super Junior??

Favorite kpop album: So many!! One is definitely EXO's Universe, and SEVENTEEN's AL1! There's lots!

Favorite kpop ship: I don't have one, I ain't all into shipping idols tbh

Hard or soft fan: Maybe soft??

Favorite kpop company: Ehhh they all suck in their own way. I don't have a favorite.

Backstory of how I got into kpop: My older sister got me into Kpop! She played it and I liked it a lot. Also because I found out one of my favorite soloists who did a song for an anime I like was a kpop idol, so I looked more into it too.

I tag: @diamond-encrusted-sebongies @loserthatlikesanime @thegayhope @rosecheol @1of1woo @alexsvt @princeshushu @choco-seventeen @xkihyuns (sorry I'm always tagging y'all in stuff lmao I'm aNNOYING but you don't have to do it!)

[seung-hwa]

it can’t be that hard

Word Count: 12k

Warnings: lovers to enemies to lovers AU (lol), fluff, angst, jealous Hongjoong, some kissing/making out, slightly suggestive, big brother!Seonghwa, boyfriend!Yunho

Pairing: Hongjoong x reader (endgame)

Summary: Of course you fell in love with your big brother’s best friend, and you thought he felt the same. But, when Hongjoong leaves for college he leaves all those feelings behind and gives you the cold shoulder. Now you’re both confronted with your feelings for each other when you decide to attend the same university he’s in.

A/N: Welcome to my first ATEEZ fic! I got the inspo for this fic from this song here, keep in mind it’s a very loose interpretation of the song. Interested in other things I’ve written? You can find that here

Pull me into your arms, kiss me on the hood of your car. If you’re not here, I’m not yours. Come on darling it can’t be that hard.

Maybe you could ignore him, the way he ignored you while he was away, not even caring to see you when he came home for the holidays. You reasoned with yourself that if he didn’t care for you in the two years that he was away for university then you wouldn’t care about him when you wind up at the same university he’s in. It’s not like it was on purpose, you didn’t mean to follow him, no that would be crazy. Your parents were alumni there, it only made sense for you to attend the same university that your parents had, and the same one that your brother, Seonghwa, was currently in. If anything Hongjoong technically followed you, because he knew you would be here. It’s annoying how your mind always wanders over to him when he doesn’t deserve the time nor the effort.

Way back when you would’ve sworn up and down that you and him were the endgame, a whirlwind romance meant to last a lifetime. Both of you had kept your interest in each other a secret from your families, and especially from your brother, who was also his best friend. You can remember romantic playlists made for each other, stolen kisses on family vacations, sly smiles over dinner and all the lovey dovey stuff that couples do. Except in your situation everything was a gamble, always worrying about getting caught in the act; but that had been half the fun for the both of you.

The night that Hongjoong left you to go to college he had promised that he would always love you, and would wait for you every day until you were with him. It was ridiculously dramatic but you still sobbed into his arms, not wanting him to leave you. That night plays in your mind more often than you would like to admit, and it always leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He had snuck into your bedroom through your window, held you in his arms and kissed away the tears that graced your cheeks. He muttered whispers into your hair while he held you close and promised you the moon, the stars, anything you could ever want. And you, in a foolish daze, believed his every word.

You almost wish that you could turn back the clock and come clean to everyone, but especially to Seonghwa. Everyone assumed that the depressive episode you found yourself in had been because your brother had left and you just missed him terribly. In a way that was true, your big brother was your main confidant and your partner in crime. Having him gone left a bigger ache in your heart. You were sure if Seonghwa had been around when you suffered through your heartbreak then he would’ve helped you to put your broken little pieces back together. But really, the main reason you had been a shell of what you once were was because of his best friend. All of his promises were bullshit, he cared about you for a week and then completely ghosted you for all the pretty college girls he now had access to. There was no explanation, no attempt at reconciliation, he just pretended like you didn’t exist. Your poor little heart got a front row seat to all the adventures that he went on because Seonghwa would always call back home to tell you about the cool new exciting thing that they got to experience together.

On the rare occasions that Hongjoong came back home he would avoid you like the plague, and no one ever batted an eye to his behavior. At first you would seek him out, trying to get answers out of him, but he was sneaky and always made sure you two were never alone together. Eventually you gave up trying to get an explanation out of him. You just wanted to move on and looking for answers to his betrayal just kept you shackled to him, you couldn’t do it anymore. The longing you had in your heart for him turned to resentment every time you thought of him. People always say that the opposite of love isn’t hate but rather indifference, and you wish so desperately that you could feel indifference for him. Yet, two years later and even the mention of his name makes your heart clench and stomach sick. It’s such a stark contrast to the way you used to feel for him, which was nothing but love and a sense of safety.

You try to reason out that you’ll probably rarely ever see him, despite the fact that he’s very present in Seonghwa’s life, you doubt that Seonghwa would want to hang out with his little sister all the time. You just need to get through the first semester, if you can do that without any incident then you know you can survive the next four years. Almost as if on cue your brother enters your dorm room and plops on your bed, your roommate stares at you with wide eyes. She definitely wasn’t expecting a boy to be in your space so soon.

“What do you want Hwa?”

He raises his arms behind his head and closes his eyes in thought, deciding to pay you no mind. He inhales deeply and lets out a sigh of contentment.

“Yep, I definitely don’t miss dorm life,” you chuckle and lean down to poke at his side, startling him into sitting upright.

“What are you doing here? Invading my space like this,” you say dramatically. He only chuckles and gets up, pulling you into a hug. You can tell that he’s excited for you to be around which isn’t too surprising to you. Your relationship with your brother has always been a close one, the only thing you’ve ever kept from him was your secret relationship with Hongjoong. Thinking about it makes you feel guilty, so you pull away from Seonghwa with expectant eyes, hoping that he’ll finally tell you why he’s here.

“I want to take you out! There’s this cool diner about fifteen minutes away that Joong and I always go to and I want to take you there,” ahh yes you’ve heard plenty of stories about Kim’s Diner and how her chicken tenders are a godsend. As much as you would love to spend time with Seonghwa, a part of you is afraid of the possibility of seeing Hongjoong. You ask Seonghwa if his best friend will be there and he shakes his head no, saying something about how he’s with some girl he started talking to a few weeks ago.

Technically you know you shouldn’t care, but the fact that Hongjoong is off with some other girl makes you unreasonably angry. You try to cover the frustration inside of you with a playful smile to Seonghwa and agree to go with him to eat. After all, it’s not like you can just spout off at the mouth about how much of an asshole his best friend is. You’ll just have to learn to live with your secret and avoid him as much as possible. You’re not sure how easy or difficult it’ll be, but you’ll do your best to finally get over him. After all, you’re a college student now, the options are endless.

When you and Seonghwa reach the diner and have a seat he immediately starts telling you about all the late nights he’s had here. He recounts finding this place with Joong when they were just driving around town, deciding to try it out on a whim. When they came in they had never expected it to look so retro, with a red and white checkerboard floor and 90s characters adorning the walls and windows. You have to admit it was a bit of a shock to you too, but you have to admit it brings a sweet sort of nostalgia for a time you never actually lived through. He tells you about how they would stuff themselves with food after test days and still force down a milkshake because it’s the best milkshake he’s ever had before in his life. You listen to him intently, mind straying every now and again by imagining Hongjoong sitting in the seat you’re in now.

The door to the diner opens and you see your brother look up in surprise. He beckons the person who came in to come to where you’re sitting. Lo and behold it’s Hongjoong and his date. You feel sick, and the desire to eat escapes you as you scoot over and let his date sit next to you. You spare her a brief glance and a small smile, not really wanting to know what she looks like. The idea of her being prettier makes your heart hurt. Hongjoong avoids your presence and you do the same. Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s date are oblivious of the obvious tension as your brother begins to ask him why he’s here.

“I just thought I’d show Lia our favorite place. I had been talking about it earlier and she wanted to come by so here we are,” Seonghwa nods in understanding and reaches his hand out to her to shake it as he introduces himself to her.

“I brought (y/n) here for the exact same reason, Lia this is my sister (y/n),” this forces you to actually look at her and she hits you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. She’s beautiful and you resent that, but you swallow your jealousy down and introduce yourself to her. She seems sweet and her eyes are so pretty, Hongjoong did good. You only wish you were her.

In no time the waiter comes over to take your orders. The boys order whatever their usual is and Hongjoong kindly orders for Lia, since she hadn’t looked at the menu. When the waiter, Yunho, looks to you to see what you want you don’t really have an answer for him. He’s nice enough to suggest what he likes and you just go with whatever he says. He stares at you a little longer than the others and offers you a cute smile which has you smiling back at him. He leaves and Seonghwa kicks your shin under the table.

“Ow! What’d you do that for Hwa jeez?” His eyes widen and he gestures his head towards where the waiter had just been, you only look at him confused.

“He was flirting with you!” you roll your eyes, very aware of the way that Hongjoong is looking at you.

“He was not flirting with me, he was just offering me suggestions.”

He scoffs at you, “(y/n) I know Yunho, he’s never that smiley when it’s just Hongjoong and I.”

“Actually he’s always pretty smiley…” Hongjoong deadpans.

“Okay fine he always has a smile, but he was looking at you longer than anyone else.”

“Yeah because she was taking forever to order and didn’t know what she wanted,” he interjects.

Seonghwa spares Hongjoong a disapproving look and elbows him in the side, basically telling him to shut up before he looks back at you.

“You should leave your number on the receipt once we’re done here to see what he does,” Hongjoong rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath, but no one pays him any mind. Even Lia is looking at you and nodding enthusiastically, “oh my god that would be so cute, imagine if you guys started dating. Maybe you could start eating here for free,” she giggles. You sigh and nod your head weakly, not really wanting to go along with Hwa’s plan but he won’t leave you alone unless you agree to it. Besides, maybe he’ll forget about it once the bill comes.

Eventually Yunho brings the food out to your table and strikes up a small conversation with you. You learn he’s a sophomore at the university and he lives off campus with his roommate Mingi. You’re sure that he’d tell you more if Hongjoong hadn’t interrupted him to get a refill on his drink. When he leaves again Seonghwa elbows Hongjoong again in the ribs, “why’d you interrupt them they were flirting,” he sneers and shakes his head, deciding not to answer.

You’ve known Hongjoong since you were kids, even grew up right next door to him. You recall when he and your brother had first entered high school and Seonghwa had begun to hang out with some guy named Minho. For a time you’d see Minho in your house more often than Hongjoong. Sometimes all three of them would be at your house, but for the most part if Minho was there then Hongjoong was notably absent. The times the three of them hung out you would notice how hostile Hongjoong would become towards Minho, especially when it came to getting Seonghwa’s attention. Your brother soon caught onto Hongjoong’s bad behavior and a huge fight ensued between them. After a while they made up but when Minho started hanging out with a guy named Jisung more than them, Hongjoong wasn’t complaining. All this to say, you were very aware of Joong’s jealous streak.

Hongjoong’s actions towards Yunho annoyed you. He had no right to act jealous when you weren’t his, and hadn’t been his for the last two years. It made no sense to you, especially since he was here with a whole date. A girl who was very much not you. You wanted nothing more to tell him off, but you held your tongue. If you could get him alone at some point then maybe you could tell him to cut the shit and stop acting like you were the one doing something wrong.

When Yunho comes back Hongjoong excuses himself to go to the bathroom. As much as you want to stay and speak to the cute waiter, you really need to speak to Joong. You also excuse yourself and wait outside of the men’s restroom until he steps out.

He tries to walk past you but you block his path. He does his best to not look at you and it frustrates you to no end. “The least you can do is look me in the eyes after being an ass all night,” you stay in front of him and wait for him to acknowledge you. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply before looking at you, “what do you want (y/n)?”

“I want you to stop acting so jealous.”

He scoffs, “I’m not acting jealous.”

“I’ve known you for years, you can’t hide your feelings from me. And as oblivious as he can be, you can’t hide your feelings from Seonghwa either so cut your shit dude.”

Instead of responding he pushes past you and heads back to the booth. You stand in place trying to collect yourself, because if you go back now you’re sure your hand will find its way across his face. This is how it always is with him, you try to confront him and he either doesn’t listen to you or leaves as soon as humanly possible to get away from you. The fact that he can’t even own up to the fact that he’s acting jealous is what gets under your skin.

When you go back to the booth you ignore his presence completely and he does the same. Every time you speak he takes Lia’s hand to get her attention onto him and away from you, you know he’s doing it to spite you, he’s not the type to like public displays of affection. Of course Lia doesn’t know this yet so she gives him her pretty little smile and holds his hand tighter. For your part, when he speaks you find interest in the chicken tenders you’re eating and drown out whatever comes out of his mouth. Neither Seonghwa or Lia notice how you’re both avoiding each other, you figure it’s either a miracle or they’re just very oblivious. You truly dread being around him, and resent the way he grabs her hand, it makes you not want to speak just so he’ll stop doing it.

Fortunately Yunho comes back with the checks but doesn’t hand you one. This leaves you confused until he hands you a receipt paper, blank beside his number and a note saying how ‘cute girls get their meals for free’. It leaves you with warmth in your face and he beams at you as he leaves once more. The whole table sees the exchange and as soon as he’s out of sight you can feel Lia shaking you, excited by the fact that Yunho was very much into you. Seonghwa also looks pretty smug with the fact that he was right about the flirtation. The only one who isn’t happy for you is Hongjoong, who you can feel is stewing in anger with the way his jaw is clenched and his gaze is focused on his empty plate. Although you weren’t exactly looking for a boyfriend right now, maybe giving someone a chance could finally get you over the failed relationship you had with Hongjoong.

That night you take the chance and text Yunho. He seems really nice, you both get along pretty well and you find yourself smiling at your phone like an idiot until two am rolls around and you have to get to sleep. He asks you on a date and you agree, the beginnings of a blossoming crush just on the horizon for you. It’s exciting to have this feeling again, to actually have an interest in someone who isn’t your ex, it’s a relief to be able to talk to a guy who seemingly wants you. There’s also a bit of satisfaction when you think back to Hongjoong’s reaction at the diner, he looked pissed off and jealous and it’s nice to rub that in his face. Especially when he had the nerve to bring his date to your booth. One thing you will give him is that it seems like Lia really is a sweet girl. She was nice to you all night and didn’t seem to notice the tension between you and her… boyfriend? Is that what they were? You know Seonghwa said something about them talking for a few weeks but did that mean that they were official? It was obviously a date that he took her on, but how serious was it? Have they… kissed? You grab the pillow from under your head and put it on your face as you let out a scream of frustration. It shouldn’t matter who he’s with or what he’s doing or why he’s doing what he’s doing. You know you shouldn’t care, but you just can’t help the fact that he still holds a piece of your heart.

When you wake up the next morning you see a message on your phone from Seonghwa, telling you to come over to his place as soon as you possibly can. You try calling him to see what’s up but he declines your call which has you very worried. In record time you get ready and rush to his apartment to make sure he’s okay. He hasn’t given you the key to his apartment yet so you stand there knocking anxiously and waiting for him to open the door. In your rush you completely forgot that he lives with Hongjoong, so when Lia is the one standing in front of you the shock hits like an icy wave.

She smiles at you kindly, looking beautiful with her hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head. You notice that her legs are bare and she’s wearing an oversized t-shirt, one that you recognize as Hongjoong's. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter that they slept together, but the pang of pain that shoots through your heart tells you otherwise.

“Hey (y/n) what are you doing here?”

Her voice breaks you out of your reverie and you smile at her sheepishly. “Seonghwa texted me to come over, he seemed pretty urgent so… yeah…”

She nods at you in understanding and makes way for you to come in.

“Is he okay by the way, it looks like you stayed the night…” you trail off.

“Yeah no he seems fine to me I’m not sure what’s wrong. And yeah I stayed the night with Hongjoong,” she looks so happy and her smile reaches her eyes. You can’t bring it in yourself to dislike this girl at all but you hate the fact that she was with him.

Speaking of the devil, you notice Hongjoong in the kitchen making coffee, although he doesn’t pay any attention to you. His orange hair is all disheveled and he looks so pretty, you hate it. You have the luxury of watching Lia wrap her arms around him and he looks over his shoulder to give her a small smile. You force yourself to look away and will your feet to go to Seonghwa’s room. You stand in front of his door, staring blankly at it and you can feel your tears coming. Before you let yourself cry you rub at your eyes viciously, hellbent on not having a breakdown. You knock on his door lightly before letting yourself in. Seonghwa’s laying on the bed with his phone in his hand, he offers you a small nod of acknowledgement before returning his attention to his phone.

You sit on the edge of his bed, slightly irritated because he made it seem like he was in trouble with how urgent he seemed through text, and yet he’s just laying there with no care in the world. You wait patiently for him to say something, anything before you reach for his sock and pull it off his foot, only to try and throw it in his face. He scowls at you before taking his sock and putting it back on his foot, only for you to try and take it off of him again just to annoy him.

“(y/n) stop!”

“I’ll stop once you tell me why you needed me to come over!”

He sighs, sitting up on the bed and looking around his room, avoiding eye contact with you. It makes you nervous to see him so apprehensive. You’re about to speak again until your phone begins to ring. You’re both startled by the sudden noise but your brother motions for you to pick up the phone. You answer the call without even checking to see who it is.

“Hello?”

“(y/n)! Hey I hope I’m not waking you up, I just wanted to talk to you for a bit. It’s Yunho by the way!”

Your eyes widen at the fact that he’s calling you. Your date with him isn’t for a few days and at most you expected him to be texting you throughout the day, instead of actually calling. “No no no, I’ve been awake so don’t worry! What’s up Yunho?”

Your brother’s eyebrows raise at the mention of Yunho’s name and you can only mirror his expression.

“Just wanted to know if you’d be coming by the diner today, the owner made her famous pie and I wanted to give you a slice. If you want it.”

“Oh umm yeah I can see if I can drop by sometime later. Thanks for thinking of me, that's so sweet of you,” the smile that creeps onto your face doesn’t go unnoticed by Seonghwa and he begins to poke your cheek in excitement until he leans in close to you to listen to your conversation.

“Awesome! Well I’ll see you later, bye for now princess.”

You giggle as you say goodbye and end the call. You can feel the warmth in your face and Seonghwa wastes no time in making fun of you.

“OooooOoooo princess huh?” he wiggles his eyebrows and you punch him in the shoulder, feeling so embarrassed. He fakes being hurt but it only lasts a second before he’s calling you princess and making kissy faces at you. You roll your eyes and try to leave him, he’s right on your tail though continuing to make fun of you as you make your way out of his room. Lia and Hongjoong watch the two of you as you try to push Seonghwa away from you while he continues to be obnoxious.

“What happened?” Lia giggles, and Seonghwa wastes no time in telling her the 411. Her face lights up at the mention of Yunho wanting to see you, and she says that she thinks you two would make such a cute couple. As per usual Hongjoong doesn’t say anything and stares at his hands, you try to pay him no mind.

“Oh (y/n) what did Seonghwa want to talk about?” That’s right, you forgot that he was supposed to tell you something. You look at him waiting for an answer and he just laughs it off. This time you can feel Hongjoong’s eyes on the both of you and it makes you nervous.

“It was nothing, I just called you over here to mess with you.”

“Seriously Hwa? Don’t do that again, I thought you were calling me over for something important,” you roll your eyes in annoyance. Seonghwa only shrugs and you decide to make your way out of the apartment. You have to go back to the dorms to make yourself look presentable for Yunho. As you say your goodbye’s you notice that Hongjoong is watching your brother with narrowed eyes. You don’t like the way he’s looking at him but you don’t want to start anything so you leave without another word.

When your date with Yunho finally arrived it went off without a hitch, it was so perfect in fact that you agreed to go on a second date, which led to a third to a fourth, so on and so forth until he officially asked you to be his girlfriend. You said yes of course and things so far were going great.

Your “relationship” with Hongjoong on the other hand had gotten worse to the point where you’d yell at each other if the other so much as breathed in each other’s general direction. You hated constantly fighting with him over shit that didn’t even matter, but he made it so easy when he made snarky or rude comments about your relationship. You had tried on multiple occasions to get him to have a civil conversation with you but he was steadfast in being a total asshole to you. Even Lia had begun to notice his snarky behavior and would try to talk some sense into him on your behalf, but her words fell on deaf ears. Hongjoong was hell bent on being nothing but a dick to you. There were a couple of times where Seonghwa would suggest going on a double date together, stating that maybe having the buffer of your other halves there would ease the animosity. You both shot the idea down in an instant, neither of you willing to spend an extended amount of time together.

You didn’t think things could get much worse, until Lia and Hongjoong broke up. When the news reached you, you tried so hard to convince yourself that you weren’t happy about it, that you felt indifferent instead. But you couldn’t stop the small part of you that was ecstatic at the fact that he was single now. Of course you had nothing at all against Lia. In fact, the both of you had grown very close to each other and told each other almost everything. With that being said, it did suck to see her so sad over him. She reminded you a lot of yourself, but at least he never made her the promises he had made you. When you went to visit your brother in his apartment, you could always hear Hongjoong making music in his room. Seonghwa had let you know that this was his way of coping. You wondered if he had done that when he broke your heart too.

It was dark outside, and rain was coming down pretty hard. You knew you should’ve gone home the second you saw the clouds roll in but you were too busy studying to really even care. You told yourself just five more minutes, five minutes turned to ten, twenty, thirty, you’d been here for two hours and now you needed to go home. You cursed yourself while packing your bag, seeing that you forgot to bring your umbrella, because of course you did. When you walked out of the library doors you saw that the rain was still coming down pretty hard and you sighed. You had walked here, but there was no way you would be walking back.

Normally, you could call up Yunho to pick you up, but he was currently visiting his grandma for the weekend so he wasn’t an option. You thought about Lia, but she had told you she was going clubbing this weekend, looking for another way to get over her heartbreak. She had invited you to come along, but you really needed to ace your exams so your social life would just have to wait until your tests were done. Next was Seonghwa, you don’t think he had anything planned for today, he would just be super annoyed about you bothering him if you called him. You really had no other choice, and with another heavy sigh you called him.

“What do you want? I'm busy.”

“Okay, rude? I need you to come pick me up.”

“I can't, I'm busy.” He was being unusually short with you and you didn’t like it.

“Hwa I don’t have a car and the rain is coming down really bad, please pick me up?”

There was silence on the phone before he let out a deep sigh, “I’ll see what I can do.”

He hung up the phone before you could ask him what he was up to, and you made a mental note to ask him what was up later when he came to pick you up. You sat down on one of the benches at the library’s entrance and watched as the wind swept through the trees. A bit of it would hit you from where you were sitting, but it wasn’t too bad. You also liked watching the rain.

30 minutes pass until you see a car pull up in front of the entrance. At this point the rain had died down a bit, but not enough for you to be able to walk through it. You know the car doesn't belong to Seonghwa, yet you are still very familiar with it. You curse under your breath as you see Hongjoong step out of the car and motion you over with a wave of his arm. He looks annoyed and you have no intention of getting into the same vehicle as him. You’d probably kill the both of you out of frustration if you had to be in an enclosed space with him, and the duration doesn’t matter. He huffs when he sees that you’re not getting up and he stomps on over to you, getting wet from the rain in the process.

You stare straight ahead of you as he calls out your name. Once he reaches you, you can tell his patience is worn thin, but you don’t care. He can leave you here for all you care, you’ll just wait here until the rain dies down. You’ll sleep on the damn bench if you have to.

“(y/n) get in the car.”

“No.”

“(y/n)” he says your name as a warning.

“I said no.”

“Get in the fucking car.”

You decide not to answer him and pull out your phone instead, clicking on Hwa’s contact and getting ready to send him the meanest text you can think of. That is, until Hongjoong snatches the phone out of your hands. You finally look at him with a scowl on your face.

“Give me my fucking phone back Hongjoong.”

“Get in the fucking car and I’ll think about giving it back to you.”

“Just leave Joong! You know you don’t want to give me a ride so just go. I’d rather wait all night for Seonghwa to show up, than to get into a car with you.”

He lets out a humorless chuckle, “yeah good luck with that, he’s not coming for you anytime soon now get up and let’s go. I’m getting cold.”

Just then an idea pops into your mind, “okay fine, I’ll go with you. Only if you tell me why the fuck you’ve been acting like such a douchebag ever since you left me. Oh and while you’re at it you can tell me why the fuck you left me without a single bit of explanation.”

His eyes close in frustration and you know he doesn’t want to have this conversation with you. Suddenly he reaches for your wrist and tugs you off the bench, surprising you and you almost fall to the ground. He keeps pulling at you until you’re near his car and that’s when you finally snatch your arm back from him. Giving him a dirty look. Now you’re both staring at each other, wet from the rain and pissed off just because of the other’s presence.

“God, what is your problem?”

“Ask your brother!” You can tell he didn’t mean to say that, his own eyes widen in shock as yours furrow in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

He doesn’t answer, opting to turn around and ignore what he just said, but you’re having none of it right now. Instead, you pull his arm and force him to turn around and face you.

“For once, can you please just be honest with me Hongjoong,” you plead, you’re sure the rain dripping down your face makes you look even more pitiful, you just want the truth from him.

His eyes soften on you as he pulls you closer to him, he rests his hand on your cheek and leans into you. His lips are so close to yours and you can feel his breath when he speaks, “I never stopped loving you (y/n),” he says it so quietly you’re surprised you can hear him through the rain.

“Then why did you leave me?” Hearing his confession brings tears to your eyes. You know he genuinely means what he says, you can see it in his eyes. It hurts to hear him say he still loves you because he stopped showing it so long ago.

“I promise you I didn’t want to…” He begins to pull away again and you let him. Unsure of where to go from here. He leans against the hood of his car, looking at you with sadness.

“But you did anyway,” he reaches his arm back out for you to take and he pulls you close to him once again. This time when he leans in, he goes all the way and you feel his lips connect with yours. The feeling is so familiar and it spreads warmth throughout your shivering body. You missed this, his lips on yours and his hands at your waist, gripping you against him like he was going to lose you. You know he loves you, you can feel it with the way his soft kiss turns a little rougher and his grip on gets a little tighter. It’s two years worth of love, lust, and pain rolled up in one. You revel in the feeling of his kiss until you remember you have a boyfriend.

You pull away suddenly and you can’t even look at him. Afraid of what you’ll see, because if his face conveys any of the emotions you feel inside then you won’t be able to stop yourself from kissing him again and again until it turns into something even more regrettable than what it already is. You wipe at your face in frustration, trying to erase the tears that mixed with raindrops on your cheeks. This wasn’t what you were expecting today, and his sudden switch to being the Hongjoong you used to know and love has your heart hurting.

You rush to the side of the car to open the door and sit inside. Hongjoong stay outside for a little while longer until he finally comes in too. When he shuts the door you can both feel the tension in the, so thick it could be cut with a knife. You don’t look at him, instead you stare out the window, watching as the rain once again goes down heavier than before. There are so many things the two of you could say to each other, but neither of you can find the courage to speak. The one resounding thing you feel is guilt. You shouldn’t have let Hongjoong kiss you, and you definitely shouldn’t have taken so long to remember Yunho. Your head begins to hurt at the thought of having to see Yunho again, and deciding on whether or not you should tell him what happened.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts with the car stopping in front of your dorm. You make your way to leave until Hongjoong grabs at your hand. You snap your head to face him and it looks like he has something to say, but he decides against it. Instead he gets closer to you to lay a ghost of a kiss on your lips once more. This time you don’t kiss him back and once he leans away from you, you dash out of the door and into your dorm.

When you walk into your dorm room, clothes soaked and looking an absolute mess, you want nothing more than to just collapse onto the bed and sleep away the day. Rather than get your bed wet, you hurry to take a shower with a million thoughts racing through your head. You think about how Hongjoong brought up your brother when you questioned what his problem was with you. When Joong told you he loved you again and kissed you, you had completely forgotten that he mentioned Seonghwa. Now that was the only thing you could think about, that and the feeling of his hands on your waist.

Once you finish showering and dressing in your night clothes, you lay on your bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. You feel your phone buzz at your side and you see a text from Hongjoong. It’s the first time you’ve received a text from him in the two years you’ve been broken up. You almost don’t want to look at it, you’d rather force yourself to fall asleep than to have to face him. Unfortunately, the anxiety of what he could have sent forces you to look at your phone.

jh: i’m sorry

You stare at his text, wondering what to say until he sends another.

jh: i think you should talk to hwa

why can’t you just tell me?

jh: i think it would be better coming from him

jh: i just need you to know that i never stopped caring about you, no one could ever compare to you or what i feel for you

You put your phone down after you see his message, feeling way too overwhelmed. You’ve spent so long trying to get answers out of him, to only find out that the answers to your questions should be coming from Seonghwa. You rack your brain, and it feels like you know what happened, but you just don’t want to admit that Seonghwa would ever intentionally ruin your relationship. He didn’t even know about it to begin with. He can’t ruin something if he never knew it existed… unless he somehow figured it out.

You fall asleep after a lot of tossing and turning, and wake up restless. Calling Seonghwa is the first thing on your list but when you do so it goes straight to voicemail. You’re irritated by your lack of sleep and Seonghwa’s lack of care for you. If he won’t answer his phone then he’ll definitely answer you knocking on his door like the annoying little sister you are. And, you have a key now so you won’t have to worry about Hongjoong answering the door, you can just sneak into their apartment.

The walk to the apartment is uneventful, and you try to clear your mind of all things you may be uncovering today. The air still smells like rain, and it’s a little chilly out, you hug your sweater closer to you and enjoy the quietness of the campus. It’s the calm before the storm.

Opening the door slowly, you’re careful to not make too much noise. It sort of feels like breaking in but since you have a key you’re sure it’s probably fine. You tiptoe into the living room and shut the door behind you at a sloths pace.

“What are you doing?” Hongjoong’s voice sounds behind you and you nearly jump through the ceiling with how surprised you are. You turn around to face him and he has an amused smile on his face. His orange hair is disheveled and pieces hang in his face, your body moves faster than your mind as you push his hair from his eyes and rest your hand on his cheek. It’s so strange to have him look at you the way he used to, when you knew for a fact that he loved you. It’s such a stark contrast to the way he’s been treating you. Gone is the animosity in his eyes, all you see now is love. Before you can do something you definitely shouldn't, you hear a throat clear behind him and see your brother looking at you disapprovingly.

“Yeah (y/n) what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be seeing Yunho? He’s coming back from his grandma’s today right?”

Shit, you completely forgot he was coming back today. You were supposed to be meeting him at the diner in a couple of hours for a mini date. The mention of your boyfriend has Hongjoong stepping away from you and you watch him leave, knocking his shoulder into Seonghwa on his way to his room. You can’t remember the last time you saw animosity between your brother and his best friend, and you wonder if Hongjoong already told him about the kiss you two shared.

“So are you gonna answer the question or what?” you’re not used to Seonghwa speaking so harshly to you. He only ever does that when he’s pissed off and he very rarely gets mad, especially not at you.

“What’s with the fucking attitude Hwa?” maybe you shouldn’t be so confrontational, but his tone automatically has you on the defense. It always feels like being scolded by your parents whenever he speaks to you like this, and you hate it.

“Maybe it’s because you interrupted my date last night? Or maybe it’s because you kissed my best friend? It could also possibly be because you just so blatantly cheated on your boyfriend. Our parents raised you better than that by the way.”

You’re shocked by his answer. First off, you had no idea he was on a date. Second, it seems like Hongjoong did come clean to Seonghwa either last night or this morning. Third, you can’t really defend yourself against the cheating claim. It wasn’t like you kissed Joong on purpose, it just happened.

“He told me last night, when I asked him what his problem was with me, that I should ask you. So is there something you want to tell me, Seonghwa?” Now it’s Seonghwa’s turn to look shocked, not expecting for his best friend to throw him under the bus like that.

“You really wouldn’t understand if I told you.”

“Told me what? I’ve been trying to figure why he’s been icing me out for two years and he’s telling me that you have all the answers, so what is Hwa? What is it?” your voice raises, and you’re just desperate for someone to tell you the fucking truth.

“I told him to break up with you,” he doesn’t look you in the eye when he says this, instead staring off to the side as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Y-y-you what?!” You can feel your body begin to shake. You’re not even sure what emotion you feel right now.

“How did you know we were even dating?”

“I’m not an idiot (y/n). Joong spent a lot of time with me but around the time that you two started dating is when he was showing up at the house a lot more than usual. And you know how jealous he gets. Anytime he caught wind of someone having a crush on you he’d shut it down faster than I could.”

“Why would you tell him to break up with me Seonghwa?”

He sighs, “I just figured it would be better for the two of you.”

“No no no. You can’t just leave it at that. I need a real explanation from you. Why would you do that??”

“Honestly, I just thought that the two of you shouldn’t have to be tied down to each other. He was starting college and you were dealing with being a teenager. You both were bound to worry about the other all the time and for what? Besides, it worked out fine. He found Lia and you found Yunho. What’s the big deal?”

He’s right, Seonghwa isn’t an idiot, so you know his explanation is pure bullshit.

“It’s a big deal because I had to deal with my heartbreak all alone when all along you knew about it. You knew that every single time you called home and I sounded so sad it was because your best friend had broken up with me and you did nothing to comfort me. What? Did you tell him to pretend to hate me too???”

He places his hands on his hips, beginning to get frustrated, “it was just a high school romance you know those don’t mean anything. Are you forgetting you’re with Yunho?”

“No Hwa! I’m not forgetting that I have a boyfriend, okay?? But Hongjoong would’ve been my boyfriend right now if it weren’t for you meddling in a love life that isn’t yours. It had nothing to do with you!”

“It had so much to do with me? Are you kidding?”

“What are you talking about?!”

“My best friend and my sister get together. What happens when you two break up? Am I supposed to pick a side? You know I’d choose you because you’re my sister and I love you but I didn’t want to have to make that choice if I didn’t have to!”

You’ve never known Seonghwa to be a selfish person. In all your childhood he always put you first, always and without question. Last piece of pizza? All yours. Walking on the part of the sidewalk nearest to the street? Would always place you right next to him so that he was near the street instead, just to keep you safe. Crying because Hongjoong was being mean to you when you all were in middle school? Seonghwa beat him up just for you. This was so out of character for him, so selfish in a way you never ever knew him to be. It gives you whiplash.

“So that’s it? You broke us up because you didn’t want to lose your best friend?” It seems ridiculous to you that he’d break the two of you up over something so miniscule. He doesn’t respond to you, opting to look away instead.

“In case you forgot, we broke up. And look at that, you still have your best friend and your sister. It’s as if my relationship with him had and has nothing to do with you Seonghwa.” You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and you decide to busy yourself with that instead of continuing this conversation with your brother. You’re irritated at him, and you have to admit you’re also irritated with Hongjoong too. He could’ve just told you why he was acting so distant instead of making you his enemy.

You regret looking at your phone, seeing it’s a message from Yunho. You don’t have to read it to know he wants to see you as soon as he possibly can. Ever the sweetheart, he probably brought you some cute little knick knack from his grandma’s town and wants to give it to you. You sigh, barely looking at Seonghwa as you turn back around to leave his apartment. He approaches you quickly and wraps his hand around your wrist, forcing you to turn and look at him.

“What do you want?”

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t pull that ‘I’m such a caring brother’ act with me right now. I don’t want to talk to you,” you feel childish as you snatch your wrist from him and slam the apartment door behind you, leaving him to stare at his door in silence. You now have a new problem to deal with, and you have no idea what you’re gonna do about it. Another buzz comes from your phone and this time you do look at it, Yunho wants to meet you at the diner right now and he’s wondering if it’s a good time for you. It isn’t, but you can’t avoid him forever. It’s better to rip the bandaid off now.

The diner sits in front of you, in all its vintage looking glory. It’s only ever brought you joy and great memories in all the time you’ve eaten inside with either your boyfriend, or your brother and his best friend. Now though, you feel nothing but dread. You can see Yunho’s frame through the window, he’s sipping on a milkshake, and you know he’s taking tiny sips just to leave some of it for you. He’s on his phone, probably scrolling through instagram, completely unaware of the betrayal from his loving girlfriend. You try to tell yourself you had no control over Hongjoong, but it’s a lie. You could’ve pushed him away, could’ve never let him pull you close to him, could’ve done so many things to prevent what you did, but you didn’t. If you think about it hard enough, you can still feel his lips on yours, and his lips felt more like home than Yunho’s ever have.

Your body goes into autopilot as you walk through the diner door and head towards the booth he’s in. He flashes you his big and beautiful smile, but you don’t have it in you to reciprocate the same expression. You give him a timid smile, and he immediately picks up on your mood as you sit down in front of him. He reaches for your hands and you hesitate before putting your hands in his. He’s looking at you worried, and you don’t know how to begin the conversation.

“What’s wrong princess?”

The nickname sends a pain through your heart, and you briefly wonder if you can just hide your infidelity. You could lie and say that you’re just not feeling too good, that you got caught in the rain and you’re pretty sure it got you sick. Do you feed him a lie and deal with it later? Or do you tell him the truth and watch everything crumble around you right now?

“I kissed someone else,” before you can even really think about it, you’re blurting out the truth. Both your eyes and his widen in shock at your admission.

“Oh…” he keeps your hands in his, but his grip on you is definitely looser than it was before you spoke.

“I’m sorry…”

“Who did you… kiss?”

“Do you really want to know?” You can see the way he’s thinking about it. Unsure if knowing or not would make things better. He finally nods his head slowly, he wants to know who it was.

“Hongjoong,” it’s clear that he’s shocked with the way he looks at you, confusion etched across his features, hands in yours how retreating into his lap.

“How did that happen?” You tell him everything. From start to finish, not just the events that occurred outside of the library, but the story of you and Hongjoong. You need him to understand that there’s just history there, and he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s you, it’s your fault. Truly a stereotypical ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ type of deal but it’s the truth.

As you recount your story, Yunho listens on, expressionless for the most part. When you finish he’s unreadable. Neither of you say anything once you’re done, and he continues to stare at you before slowly nodding his head.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“So we’re breaking up,” the statement shouldn’t surprise you. You know damn well that your heart doesn’t belong to him and now he knows too. You can’t blame him for wanting to end things, but it still hurts nonetheless.

“If… if that’s what you want then yeah…” your voice is barely above a whisper, and you feel your cheeks heat up in shame. You avert your eyes from him and struggle to keep the tears from surfacing. You don’t reserve the right to feel emotional like this, if anything Yunho should be the one on the verge of tears, not you.

“It’s not really what I want but it’s probably for the best I think. I’m not too fond of being someone’s second choice,” he says this with a sad smile, it stings but you know he has a point. Yunho is way too good of a guy to just be second best to anyone. You nod your head in understanding and wonder where to go from here.

“So now what?”

“I don’t know actually. I brought you something from my grandma’s, she was trying to teach me how to knit and I made this thing for you.” He reaches into his bag and pulls out a dorky looking hat. It’s a little ugly, and you can tell it was made by an amateur but it’s still so cute. It brings a smile to your face as you reach out for it tentatively. He gives it to you and urges you to put it on, and you oblige. He bursts into laughter, seeing it on you and whips out his phone to take a picture of you.

“It looks pretty bad,” he says in between giggles. He shows you the picture and you resist the urge to tear the thing off of your head. It is so ugly.

“I guess this is my karma,”.

“Oh for sure.” He gives you a soft smile and gets up from the booth. You try to give him the hat back but he shakes his head at you.

“Keep it, it’s yours. I made it for you.” So you do keep it. You place it on your head, not really caring about the way that people look at you when they come in and see the monstrosity of a hat adorning your head. You revel in how great of a person Yunho is. He could’ve yelled at you, been pissed off and caused a scene but he took the breakup in stride and listened to you. He displayed an elegance you know you could never pull off. You hope that someday soon you can be his friend, but for now you’ll give him the time and space he needs to get over you.

Weeks have passed and you decided to keep your distance from Seonghwa and Hongjoong. You’re still irritated with your brother, and you’re also trying to sort out your feelings for Hongjoong. In the meantime you spend your time alone, studying and walking around campus with your ugly little beanie. Surprisingly you’ve gotten some compliments about it and you’re not too sure if they’re being sarcastic or not, but you don’t think about it for too long. You even see Yunho on campus from time to time, and he always bursts into the biggest grin when he sees you wearing the hat he made.

You’re sitting in a small café, that’s a bit away from campus, sipping on an americano when you hear a snicker from behind you. Instantly, you know that the person laughing is doing so because of your hat and you do your best to ignore it. You’re not anywhere near campus, so you’re pretty sure it’s probably some high schooler who’s bound to say a snarky little comment about your attire. The person comes from behind you and sits at your table, you’re surprised to see it’s Hongjoong. You go to this café to avoid seeing other college students but here he is nonetheless.

“Nice hat,” he smirks at you.

“Thanks, my ex gave it to me.”

“Ex?” His eyebrows shoot up at that. You had never told Seonghwa about your breakup with Yunho, so it’s no surprise that Hongjoong knew nothing about it.

“Yup,” you say, putting emphasis on the p. You decide not to give him any information on purpose, curious to see his reaction.

“Did you break up with him because of that ugly ass hat?” he snickers, very obviously content.

“No actually he broke up with me because I kissed my ex.” At that, he at least has the gall to look a little ashamed.

“So you told him about that…”

“Mhmm.”

“It wasn’t my intention to ruin your relationship,” he sighs. You know it wasn’t, things happen, you’re not mad at Hongjoong for kissing you. In the weeks you’ve been avoiding him, all you could think about was his lips on yours.

“I know Joong,” you keep the sass out of your voice as you say it, hoping to come off genuine.

He nods his head a little before asking, “why aren’t you talking to Seonghwa?”

Of course he’d ask that. Seonghwa had been texting and calling you damn near everyday. According to your roommate, he had also stopped by your dorm on multiple occasions. You were able to avoid him by staying over at Lia’s place. Of course you had told her everything that had happened, and instead of being upset with you about the whole Hongjoong situation, she had actually taken it in stride. Shrugging her shoulders and stating that she figured something had gone on between the two of you, it wasn’t really much of a surprise to her. Meanwhile, you knew Seonghwa was freaking out about your whereabouts, but you were also an adult and could take care of yourself just fine.

“You know why I’m not talking to him,” you let out a sigh and took a sip of your coffee, deciding to stare out of the window instead of at Joong.

“And why aren’t you talking to me?”

“I am talking to you, that’s what we’re doing right now isn’t it?”

“You know what I mean (y/n),” and that you did. Hongjoong had also sent you a couple messages, asking to meet up or to just talk, whether it be in person or on the phone. You had ignored him so that you could figure out what to do.

“Honestly Hongjoong, I wish you had told me what was going on instead of completely shutting me out,” tired of beating around the bush, you finally let your feelings out.

“You know I couldn’t tell you, Seonghwa wa-”

“Why does Seonghwa matter in this situation?” you interrupted him, “it was my relationship with you, Hongjoong. You and me. Not you, me and my brother, he should’ve never been a factor,”.

“He just wanted to be a little selfish. Can you blame him?”

“Please explain to me how that makes sense, because I truly do not understand,”.

“Think about it (y/n). He’s always been around for you, has always put your needs before his own, put your happiness before his own, honestly I think he loves you more than he loves himself. For him, I think it was just a moment where he finally wanted something for himself. That something being me. I can tell you he didn’t want to keep us apart for some malicious intent, he was just being selfish because he’s never been selfish with you before,”.

It did make sense, in a way. Hongjoong’s right, Seonghwa always went out of his way to make sure you got anything and everything you wanted, he was the type of brother that you could go to for any little thing and he’d be right there for you. Your big brother was your best friend and the person you looked up to the most. You suppose that Seonghwa probably just wanted to keep Hongjoong for himself, and not have to share him with you. It definitely hurt to finally understand his motivation, but you couldn’t blame him. You weren’t sure what you would do if things were the opposite way around.

You sigh, “so how does he feel about us now?”

“He feels like a major asshole about it. He’s really sorry (y/n) you have to talk to him.”

You nod your head and look away again, until you feel Hongjoongs hand grab onto yours. He looks at you longingly and brings your hand to his lips, “I’ve missed you so much,” this display of affection is unusual for him. But, you guess that going years having to hide how much you love someone will bring out even the smallest bit of PDA from a person who isn’t very fond of it.

“What about Lia?”

“What about her?” he asks, confused.

“You still loved me but you decided to date her. And god knows how many other girls,” you feel like an insecure high school girl as you say this, but it’s something that has been weighing on your mind for a while.

“Lia’s been the only other girl I’ve been… intimate with, besides you. And I did like her, she’s a sweet girl but she wasn’t you. I knew she and I weren’t going to last. I just needed someone to keep me away from you.”

“That’s kind of an asshole thing to do Joong,” you frown at him in disapproval.

“Well I’ve apologized to her, made amends, talked it out. We’re cool now.”

“Oh is that so?”

“Yeah, who do you think told me you were here. This place is so hidden away I circled the block like three times before I could find it.”

“She told you I was here and you didn’t run and tell Seonghwa?” You raise your eyebrow in amusement.

“I wanted to see you first. Like I said, I’ve missed you,” he rubs his thumb over your hand and you let him. You both sit in silence for a while, basking in this small moment of affection.

“Go on a date with me,”.

“Are you asking or telling me Joong,” you chuckle.

“A bit of both,” he flashes you a toothy smile and you can’t help but to roll your eyes before nodding your head, saying yes to a date with him. He leans over the table and places a chaste kiss on your cheek, before squeezing your hand and telling you he has to go but he’ll text you the details. He leaves and just as you're about to fall into your head he knocks at the window and shouts at you to talk to Seonghwa. You mouth back an okay and he finally leaves.

The next time you see Seonghwa, you’re walking back to your dorm room after class. He had been waiting at the steps of your dorm hall, and you can only assume he’s been there all day. When he sees you he rushes over to you and pulls you into his arms.

“You’ve been ignoring all my calls, and my messages. I haven’t seen you in what feels like years. I had half a mind to put out a missing person’s report,” he’s squeezing you so hard you can barely breathe and you struggle to get out of his reach.

“Calm down Hwa jeez, I’m an adult.”

“The last time we spoke you were mad at me and then ignored me for two weeks, don’t tell me to calm down,”.

You roll your eyes and gesture for him to sit back down. You take a seat next to him and wait for a group of girls to pass by before you finally look at him. His expression is worried, and you feel kinda bad for purposely ignoring him. You told yourself that you would talk to him, but life got hectic, besides you were sure he was gonna find you somehow anyway.

“I’m not mad at you anymore,”.

“You’re not?”

“No. I’m not. I talked to Hongjoong about it.”

“You spoke to Hongjoong?” this was obviously news to him, apparently Hongjoong never told him about your little rendezvous in the café.

“Yeah, we talked. He explained the situation to me and I’m not mad anymore. Just like, don’t meddle in my love life again, please?

“I’m sorry about that by the way, I never meant to be so selfish about it I was just going through something I guess, I don’t know,”.

You brush it off before saying, “it’s in the past, I'm not too worried about it anymore, and I forgive you so let’s just leave it at that. Okay?”

“Okay (y/n)”

“Also, I doubt he told you so I guess I will: Hongjoong asked me out on a date,”.

“He did? What about Yunho?”

“Oh we broke up.”

“What?? Why??”

“Well I’m in love with your best friend so… ya know, kinda had something to do with that.”

“Are you okay? With the whole break up thing?”

“Yeah I’m fine, it hurt a little bit of course but it was for the best. Besides, he gave me this really ugly hat so it’s not too bad,” you point at the top of your head and Seonghwa finally takes notice of your ugly beanie.

“Maybe he hated you all along, that is so bad,” he gives you his signature pained smile and you can’t help but to laugh.

“I’ve grown to love it, I really really have.”

“So you and Hongjoong huh?”

“Yup. Are you okay with that?” you tilt your head to the side as you look at him, gauging his reaction.

“Yeah I am. I just want the both of you to be happy,” he wraps his arm around your shoulder and squeezes you to him. Everything feels okay again and it makes you feel good inside.

“Oh hey by the way, whatever happened to that date you had?”

He groans and recounts the horror story of the date that he had with some guy whose name he can’t even remember.

When the time for your date with Hongjoong arrives, you can’t help but to feel excited. It brings back memories of when he first asked you out back in highschool. You don’t feel nervous like the way you did when you were a teenager, you just feel ready to finally be with the love of your life.

The time you spend with Hongjoong feels familiar, and safe, he feels like home to you. He decides to take you to eat at a nice restaurant, one that is way too pricey for a college student like him. When you ask him how he got the money to buy you such an expensive dinner, he only winks at you and mentions something about the music he’s been producing lately. Throughout dinner he finds a way to touch you in some way, whether that be holding your hand, or touching your thigh. He just doesn’t want to let you go. It feels so natural being with him, like the two of you had never broken up in the first place. Except you did, and you’re both made aware of it when you recount stories to each other that you’ve never heard before. It’s bittersweet in a way, but at least the two of you had the opportunity to know what it’s like to be single, although you both prefer to be with each other instead. You love hearing him speak, and love seeing the way his eyes sparkle when he smiles. This is the man you love, the man you missed so dearly, and you hope he’s the one you can grow old with someday.

After dinner he drives you to a hill that overlooks the city. The whole time his hand is in yours, rubbing reassuring circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, a little habit he’s had since high school. You watch him as he drives, the city lights illuminating his profile and you think that you’ve never seen something so beautiful. You almost want to take a picture, but you decide against it, opting to live in this moment with him instead. He looks at you from the corner of his eye and flashes you a smirk.

“What are you looking at baby?” He takes his hand out of yours and places it on your thigh, squeezing it a bit. The pet name and the way he touches you fills you with warmth.

“My husband,” the answer is blunt, but when you know, you know. It’s his turn to blush as he tries to contain the grin overtaking his face. He keeps his eyes on the road, and you keep your eyes on him, wanting to ingrain this memory into your head forever.

When you arrive at the hill he tells you to stay in the car as he rushes to open the door for you. He even holds your hand and helps you out of it, before putting his hands over your eyes and leading you to the railing. He’s gentle with you, keeping you close to his body since it’s a little chilly out. He finally takes his hands from your eyes and your left gaping at how beautiful the sight is. You see how alive the city looks at night, how beautiful it is, and you revel in the fact that you get to share something so wonderful with your lover. He isn’t looking at the view though, he’s just looking at you.

He takes his finger and puts it under your chin, gently moving your face so that you’re looking at him instead. He leans into you slowly, and your eyes flutter shut before his lips even meet yours. The finger that rests under your chin moves to your cheek as he cradles your face in his hand. His other hand reaches down to your waist, drawing you in even closer to him. You feel like you can’t get enough of him as your own hands tangle in his hair. You love him with everything you have and you want him, need him, to feel the way you love him. The kiss makes you breathless and you soon have to pull away, but he doesn’t let you get far as he begins to place butterfly kisses along your face, starting at your forehead, down to your nose, and finishing at your jaw.

You peck him one last time on his lips, and as much as you would love to intensify the kiss one more time, you know you’ll have plenty of opportunity to show him how much you love him later on in the night.

You turn back around to face the city view and he sidles up behind you, his arms hug you from behind and he pulls you close to him. The two of you enjoy each other’s warmth as you watch the way the city twinkles. His chin rests on your shoulder and he whispers in your ear all the things you missed hearing from him when you two weren’t together. He tells you how much he loves you, over and over again. He assures you that he’ll never ever leave you again. You’re his and he’s yours and that’s what’s most important to him. He kisses your cheek and you close your eyes, basking in the way he loves you.