#kim taehyung crack

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

jin's september message (feat. taehyung) 💌

[kuuipobangtan]

Does anyone else remember when Jin and Jimin were bored and had a weird pose competition back in 2014?

And Jimin declared himself the winner but then Sope just…

[whyse7vn]

KIM TAEHYUNG

HATE ME:

“Fuck you”

“Bu—”

The door slams in Taehyung’s face.

He takes a breath.

It’s fine he expected this.

He knocks again.

“Fuck you. Go home”

Your voice scarily calm and slightly muffled due to the locked door that seperates you both.

“Can we just tal—”

“No. Leave”

“Just let me expla—”

“Don’t make me get Jungkook”

Taehyung scoffs.

“Jungkook? And what’s Jungkook gonna do?”

“Get you to leave. By force. Extreme force”

“He wouldn’t”

He would. Taehyung knows for a fact he would. Jungkook, much like an obedient puppy would do anything you asked of him given the command.

“He couldn’t”

Again Taehyung knows he could. Knowing that his junior, when he wasn’t kissing ur ass and following you around like a loser, spent pretty much most of his free time in the gym. Jungkook would, could and probably will forcefully remove him off your shared property have you say the word.

This time you’re the one to scoff.

“Yeah right”

It seems like you’re aware of that fact that Jungkook would, could and probably will too.

Cool.

Well not cool for Taehyung for.. obvious reasons but cool, he should probably choose his next words wisely before you actually do go and get Jungkook.

cool so…

um…

Actually-

Yeah no…

It’s Blank. His mind is blank.

Fuck. How is he supposed to choose his next words wisely if there are no words, let alone wise ones, to choose from.

Think Think Think

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He ignores it.

“Taehyung”

His frown is immediate.

“Go. home”

See hadn’t you addressed him as Taehyung he might of caught on to the slight saddens in your tone the small waver the hesitance but you had addressed him as such therefore he didn’t.

Instead he replays you saying “Taehyung” over and over in his mind. His frown deepens.

Taehyung. His given name at birth yes. It’s not like he hates his name or anything it’s a nice name he likes it, likes when you say it too just not after fights, never after fights or in your super serious voice either. He much prefers “Tae” The nickname from your lips is like a language only he can understand. From your lips the nickname one thousand words in one.

Sometimes (most) you’ll say it in warning like when he’s taken a joke with Jungkook too far the younger man practically on the verge of tears you’ll give him a pointed look a tight lipped “Tae” and a kick to the shin for good measure. Immediately he’s spewing apologies Jungkook’s way while hopping on one foot in pain.

Other times you say it in concern. Like that one time the group went out for drinks after the release of Butter. He was like 10 shots? in maybe more…. probably more, cheeks beyond flushed staring into space. He can hear everyone happily chatting around him. Are they as drunk as he is right now? He hopes they are he cant be the only one fuck up. But is he really even that fucked up? What does it mean to be fucked up? God knows. Who is God? What is God? Wow life is crazy. Life is great. Taehyung loves life sosososo much actually. Life is good his life is good. He’s so grateful for everything his band mates his life God… maybe God. Wow that was emotional. He could cry right now… is he crying right now? Or is he just really fucked up— “Tae?” It’s like he sobers up almost immediately well… not really but really. Your face in his vision all he now cares about, he puts the drink he didnt even realise he was holding on the table in front of him and nods his head at you answering all the questions you had not outwardly asked.

He likes it when you say it in neediness in want. Your pupils blown, breathing heavy, hair a mess, body bare simply… fucked out if you will. Namjoon, who is sitting behnind you is almost completely forgotten by Taehyung when you without breaking eye contact, voice all whiny and lust ridden call out for him “Tae…” His hands seem to move on their own to eager to comply with what you had so clearly asked from him.

Not that he will admit it but his favourite is when you say you say it in praise. Like that one time you asked him to paint your toenails he had tried to decline not confident in all in his nail painting abilities but you insisted and he can never really say no to you. So when he had finished painting and you went to look your excited “Tae!” and small claps told him everything he needed to know a sheepish smile and a massive sene of pride taking over.

In his most vulnerable moments the nickname from your lips has always been his reassurance. You’ve always said it at the perfect times all the right moments. So that is why Taehyung has never doubted that you most definitely understand the weight the nickname carries he’s 110% sure that you understand that he understood when you had said the nickname when he was 10 shots deep you were asking him if he was ok or when you had that debate about water being wet he understood you said it to let him know that you don’t actually hate him because he thinks it is.

And just now you had called him Taehyung.

In a moment he needed you not to.

You did. On purpose.

The use of his name makes him realise how serious this all is. How upset you really are. How badly he’s fucked up.

“Please call me Tae” He has no right. He knows it too.

He hears movement on the other side of the door. Hope bubbles up in his chest. But as quickly as it comes it goes the feeling of hope is torn from his body as soon as realises that the sound of movement from you on the other side of the door is getting fainter. You’re walking away from him.

“I need you to call me Tae” His voice is louder now. Desperate. You need to hear him.

He needs your reassurance.

He needs to know he can fix this.

That you don’t hate him.

“I need you to call me Tae—”

“Taehyung” No this is the last thing he wants to be thinking about right now. “Taehyung you’re just not—” No. He’s over this. He swears he’s over this. “Taehyung, you’re just not what i thought you’d be” No. His phone buzzes in his pocket a second time. He closes his eyes. He’s in a fancy hotel room in Paris Jennie opposite him. She looks him straight in the eyes. His chest feels tight. “Taehyung” He could throw up “You’re just not what i thought you’d be” Her hand moves to cup his face he jerks from her touch immediately his eyes snap open.

A door.

no

Your door. His eyes flicker to your doorbell. He goes to push it.

buzz

His phone again

buzz

again

buz—

He huffs and pulls the device out his pocket he could have sworn he had put it on dnd.

buzz

The time 8:47 AM and a bunch of mesages from Jimin is what he’s met with.

JIMIN🕴🏻

0/10 ur not wearing a suit

girls dig suits

What?

JIMIN🕴🏻

watching u through the ring app btw :P

don’t ask how i have access to theirs i just do

JIMIN🕴🏻

this would be going better if you wore a suit I’m telling you

wow ur like major loser rn

JIMIN🕴🏻

ok im watching u have a mental breakdown in real time

this lowkey kinda scary do i need to call joon????

JIMIN🕴🏻

DO NOT RING THAT DOORBELL OHMUGOD

THINK ABOUT THIS

WAIT

nvm do it

want to see what happenes

NO DON’T ACTUALLY

oh im gonna throwupppp

UR SO EMBARRASSING DCDHNCKLDHNCED

HELLO

oh u stopped

ur looking at ur phone now

heyyyyy hiiii

TAEHYUNG 🤢

stop watching

JIMIN🕴🏻

i might have to in a second this is kinda a painful watch

maybe you should go home like she asked you to???

tomorrow is another day!!!!

i know i said think about what you have to say but something tells me you haven’t got shit in that head of yours

TAEHYUNG🤢

fuck you

JIMIN🕴🏻

??????

rude

idk why you didn’t just show up in a suit and sing that fucking sappy song you wrote for her

girls go crazy over that kind of stuff

TAEHYUNG 🤢

this is why you get no girls

JIMIN 🕴🏻

that coming from you right now is beyond crazy

TAEHYUNG 🤢

go away and stop fucking watching

JIMIN🕴🏻

no

anyways there’s a key under that flower pot to ur left

very dangerous might i add

but its there

TAEHYUNG 🤢

??????

JIMIN 🕴🏻

idk i like drama

borahae 💜🫰🏻

Before locking his phone Taehyung ensures he puts it on dnd. He looks to his left. The flower pot, the key. He’s conflicted. You had just told him to go home so letting himself in with your spare key probably isn’t the best idea right now. But how else is he going to talk to you? You won’t be opening the door for him again ….but opening it himself is only going to make you even more pissed and thats the last thing he wants right now.

His eyes find the doorbell once more.

He presses it.

Please please please

….

Yeah that didn’t work. He presses it again. That also didnt work. Should he knock? He sighs who is he kidding the only way the door is opening is if he uses that key. At least he tried to be moral about things. He pictures Jimin laughing at him through the camera he shoots the doorbell the middle finger before turning to his left and retrieving the key from underneath the plant pot. Jimin’s right it is dangerous that you a key just laying here. he’ll scold you about that later. he brings the key to the keyhole.

It’s now or never

He unlocks the door.

It’s quiet. That’s the first thing he notices. He closes the door behind him and bends over to take off his shoes. It’s really fucking quiet. Strange. It’s never this quiet in you and Jungkook’s home. He’s walking down the corridor now. The smell of sweet tropical fruits and vanilla takes over his senses. A mix of you and Jungkook, oddly enough he doesn’t hate it. It’s still quiet he’s in your living room now the tv is off and the couch empty. He moves to the kitchen. Again empty, he’s about to leave to check the other rooms when a blue sticky note plastered on the fridge, alongside a picture of… Mingyu? he’s not too sure, catches his eye.

BAM ATE A LEGO (I THINK?) SO GOING TO THE VET WE DIDN’T GET KIDNAPPED PROMISE BE HOME LATER LOVE YOU :D XXXXXXXXX

The handwriting is messy and so obviously Jungkook’s.

“HOLY SHIT-”

Taehyung turns around instantly. He’s met by the sight of you. He takes in your appearance, you wear a white vest and a pair of oversized dark blue sweatpants a pair of black headphones sit on top of your slightly messy hair and you hold a empty bottle of water in your right hand. Now Taehyung is no cannibal but right now he could so eat you—

“OUT GET OUT”

The water bottle that you once held in your had is now thrown in Taehyungs direction. It hits his shoulder with no real force and falls to the ground with a hallow thump.

This was enough to snap Taehyung out of the of temporary trance just your presence alone had put on him.

“H-Hi can we—”

“How the FUCK did you get in? did you kick down our door? PLEASE don’t tell me you kicked our door down”

“What?! no of course i didn’t i used the key”

“What key?”

“The spare one under the—”

“We don’t have spare key”

“What?”

“What?”

“So what is thi—”

“Leave”

“Wait please can i just explai—”

“No leave”

“Can i just—”

“No go home”

“Please I’m begging—”

“Don’t care leave before i get kook”

“Ok well he’s not even here so-”

“He’ll be here soon so you should leave now”

“I’ll leave when he gets here”

“He’s one minute away”

“Then i’ll leave in one minute”

“Fuck you”

With that you turn on your heels and make a b-line to your room.

“Hey can i just—”

Taehyung clumsily follows behind you in an attempt to explain himself.

“How about no”

“Please i just want to apologise and explain i’m sorry and—”

“You made me feel and look like a fucking idiot Taehyung” You stop just outside your door.

He mentally and physically winces and the use of his name in this current situation. He goes to speak but you beat him to it.

“A whole month a stupid fucking song and now more of your weightless words? You can go fuck yourself actually” You turn to face him and to add to insult you jab your finger into his chest before turning back around and walking into you room making sure to slam the door behind you.

Alright a lot to unpack there. Taehyungs first instinct is to follow you into your room knowing there is no lock on you door but the thought is quickly dismissed Taehyung figures since he’s already practically forced himself into you house forcing himself into your room will definitely be the end of him.

So given this realisation Taehyung decides to sit cross-legged facing your door.

He decides to think over the words you had said to him in the last minut, if it was even that, in hopes of planing his next to you.

Get out.

Go home.

Something about a key.

Jungkook.

Stupid fucking song.

The door.

A month.

That’s crazy it really has been a month it took him a whole month to come here and apologise. He leans over a bit so he’s able to rest his elbow on this thigh and his palm over his mouth. A month. He gets your anger he really does.

…..

But wait hold on-

His eyebrows furrow. Stupid fucking song?

“My song wasn’t stupid” It comes out mumbled.

Silence.

“My song wasn’t fucking stupid” He sitting up straight now his voice more confident more certain. “It’s about you, about how i feel about you about us… that isn’t stupid”

“There is no us therefore it is stupid”

Your voice surprises him your soft tone and volume despite your harsh words not something he expected to hear just yet.

“Now you’re lying?”

“What it’s only okay when you do it?”

You got him there he’ll admit it.

“So there is there an us is what you’re saying”

Just not out loud. He knows that you know that he knows you got him there so he guesses it works out anyways.

“Not the point Taehyung”

“I’m sorry”

“Ok”

Yikes.

This is really bad.

He takes a breath.

Deciding to be serious once again.

“You know i’m uh just- so fucking sorry like with the whole lying thing and you kno—”

“STO-”You pause. You hadn’t meant to shout or interrupt his words just making you angrier as he continued.

“Stop” You try again “Stop saying i know, stop assuming i know. I don’t know anything ok? about you about us i think i do and then you just show me how little i know about you about everything”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Just stop, see had you of just told me Jennie was you ex i would of been fine had you told me Tan was with her it would of been fine”

“No you wouldn’t of-”

“Kissed you? Slept with you a few days after? That’s what you were worried about?”

“No of course not i’m saying that you wouldn’t of realised it was more than that, that you wouldn’t of realised i felt more than sexual feelings for you”

“More than sexual feelings? More? I mean you had me convinced at first i’ll give you that your a good liar”

“I’m not a liar”

“You’ve done nothing but lie to me. if you wanted to get back at your ex you could of just said that”

Taehyung stands at your door now. His fists clenched. In rage? In sadness? In embarrassment? He’s not sure. Emotions of all types practicality race round his body. He once again fights the eurge to enter your room.

“I didn’t use you to get back at her” His voice is soft, calm but in your eyes condescending.

“YOU DI- you did. Taehyung you did and i don’t see any reason for you to lie to me like you did- like are if you hadn’t used me. AND- and when i asked you in the groupchat after i told you i didn’t use you to get over my ex you couldn’t give me a straight answer if it wasn’t because you wer-ARE using me to get to her what is it?”

“I-I”

“Yeah that what i thought”

“NO-no just give me a minute….”

Be honest just be honest.

“….I couldn’t tell you then and there because i was scared ok? I was scared and it was in front of everyone and i just panicked ok? And since then i’ve mostly just relied on you knowing things… like you knowing what i’m thinking or what i’m feeling, on what i need or want to go from that to having to say i want you, that i love you seriously for once was really fucking scary and i’ve never really been good with words in serious situations so-so i took some time and i wrote the song to say the things i couldn’t then. I-i don’t expect you to just forgive me cuz i wrote one for you but i want it to be a start to let you know i’m serious when it comes to you”

“You… are?”

“Always. I know it might not seem that way cuz of how i am but i swear i am so serious about everything that concerns us…

And about the Jennie stuff this is really silly to admit out loud but i wanted to use her to make you jealous… I didn’t know Jaehyun and you were gonna break up that day or that you were gonna come over but i had planned it out giving Tan to her and casually just dropping into into conversation just to see how you would react to see if i had a chance shitty i know but i was desperate and stupid. I was gonna tell you but then things with us were going so well and i kinda just go caught up in it all i didn’t want you to hate me and i didn’t want any of this to end. Still i that isn’t a valid excuse and despite my fears i should of just told you i’m sorry”

The door clicks open and you step out.

“Taehyu-“

“Call me Tae…” Let me know you don’t hate me “…please”

“Tae”

He smiles.

“I just wanna clarify that i’m not mad that Jennie is in the picture or anything that would be hypocritical of me”

“Hypocritical or not you could be mad… are you mad?”

“Shut up be serious please” You playfully shove him.

“You so are” He giggles “That’s hot”

“No i’m mad you lied about it”

“I know and i’m sorry”

“For stuff like this…. i’m trying to be open and honest with everyone involved you know?”

“I know”

You breathe out a sigh of relief glad that Tae knows where you’re coming from without having to explain any further.

“Ok”

“Ok” Tae’s boxy grin on full display.

He hesitates for a second before saying fuck it mentally and cupping your face with both of his hands.

“Can i kiss you now?”

“I thought you’d never ask”

—

long story story having their relationship being built on pure vibes not words catches up to them and they realise it sorry ending kinda meh but i wasn’t gonna finish this any other way also the whole tae in paris bit at the door is him remembering what jennie said to him #flashbsck i hope you all got that idk if i did that well or not wow this is like the longest offline post yet go me!?

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @blairebangtan @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

[serenecypher]

Bangtan Host Club Chapter Two

Genre: BTS Ot7xf!Reader, Poly!AU, Fluff, Romance, Crack-ish, Eventual Smut.

W/C: 3303

Summary: Tired of your boring mundane life? Become an exclusive member of The Bangtan Host Club™ today and let 7 charming men help you out.

Warnings: This chapter is rated PG13, but future chapters may include Mature Themes. The only real warning is Taekook being general menaces lol.

Disclaimer: Please do not copy/translate or cross-post my work. The tag list is open. Just DM or send an ask to be included.

A/N: Thank you for giving so much love to chapter one. I hope you all enjoy Chapter 2 as well! 💜 I am honestly really enjoying writing this too. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. See you soon with Chapter 3!! 🎀

Chapter 1 << Chapter 2 >> Chapter 3

Jungkook holds the door to the lobby of your apartment building open for you, smiling down at you impishly as you brush past him, thanking him coyly. Once everyone is indoors, Jimin is the first to speak.

“Wait, there must be a supply closet here. Namjoon Hyung, come with me. We should get the tools we need for this little project.” He shifts his stern gaze onto Taehyung and Jungkook as he directs them to keep you company up the stairwell. “Play nice, you two. We’ll be there in no time.” 

Taehyung makes a face at this before shrugging. “We are always nice, isn’t that so Kookie?” he winks at Jungkook, who looks away from Taehyung… almost bashfully. Taehyung smiles in what seems like adoration before he turns to you. His smile turns a little playful as he nudges your shoulder with his. “Don’t you wanna take us to your place, pretty girl?”

Jimin audibly sighs before he shoots you a gentle smile. “Like I said, be there soon.” He waves at you and walks down the corridor toward the back of the building, Namjoon following behind him wordlessly. You gesture for Taehyung and Jungkook to follow you with a tilt of your head and turn toward the stairs leading up to your floor. 

You trudge up the stairs first, followed closely by the two men. You’ve just about climbed five steps when suddenly you hear snickering behind you. You stop in your tracks and turn around, slightly agitated. Jungkook and Taehyung are close behind you, walking hand in hand. Jungkook stares up at you and blinks his eyes in curiosity. “Why’d you stop?”  

“Nothing.” you mutter as you quickly glance away from them and look ahead at the concrete stairs like they have something important to tell you. Even though there are sounds of muffled giggles and murmurs of protest behind you, you keep your eyes straight ahead as you climb the stairs of the two floors. You walk up to your apartment door and slump your back against the hardwood. 

Just as you turn around, Taehyung finds your eyes to rest his on. He takes one two three steps and he is standing right in front of you. He places his elbow behind you and leans into your space, his eyes trained on yours as he huffs out in amusement. “You are really pretty, you know…” his voice comes out deeper than before and his eyes fall to your lips, catching the way your tongue peeks out to wet them nervously. 

“Thanks” you manage to say meekly under the intensity of his burning gaze which is instantly acknowledged by a deep hum from him. Then, you feel skin brush against your knuckles, and you look down to find Jungkook’s long tattooed fingers slotting against yours. You look up and you feel something in your chest flutter to find Jungkook and Taehyung looking at each other. 

“Have you forgotten about me, Hyung?” Jungkook says, and his voice betrays a sense of hurt that is easy to catch. You have never seen a man resembling a kicked puppy like this before. Taehyung, to his credit, looks affronted by this accusation as he shifts his attention to Jungkook, a rueful smile plastered on his lips. 

“Kookie, I couldn’t forget you if I tried.” he sighs deeply, shaking his head. Just as Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief, Taehyung continues, once again looking at you, “But she is just so beautiful, she is latching on to all my thoughts.”

Your eyebrows reflexively shoot up to your hairline at his declaration. You feel confused and yet somehow flattered  and it only gets harder to articulate your emotions as Jungkook leans into you, resting his head on your shoulder as he solemnly speaks more to himself than anyone else at this point, “I really can’t argue with that.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest but the spell these two seem to place you under twice in the span of a mere hour is broken again by the sound of Jimin clearing his throat. You watch as the sullen expression on Taehyung’s face gives way to a playful pout as he childishly whines to you before pulling away from your space. “Sorry, pretty girl. The party has to be rescheduled.”

You feel more than hear what seems like a breath of a chuckle from Jungkook as he picks his head up from where it had been resting on your shoulder and moves a bit to his left, away from you. He crosses his arms over his chest and smirks at your shocked expression.

“Got the tools.” Jimin says calmly, choosing to completely ignore whatever was going on before he got here. Namjoon gives you a nod too as he approaches the door, holding a yellow toolbox that should be average-sized but looks comically small in his hands. He places it on the floor in front of you and tilts his head at your figure that is still pressed against your door.

It takes you a moment but you manage to compose yourself enough to understand what he means. “Oh yeah, sorry.” you grumble as you feel heat rush the back of your neck, only worsened when you see Jungkook snicker and poke Taehyung’s side, jerking his chin in your direction, definitely noticing your embarrassed state. 

Namjoon gets to work on your Europa lock without another word, carefully twisting the metal with some pliers from the inside. Jimin, meanwhile, is regarding you with curiosity and you know he is trying to figure something out about you. 

“Do you live alone on this floor?” Even though the question is directed at you, his gaze sweeps across the corridor where the door to another apartment is. 

“No, I have a neighbor. An old lady. She is really sweet but she is away for a few days.” you answer easily, pointing in the direction he is looking at already. 

“Hmm.” is all he has to add before looking at you again. You can tell Jimin is not being as pleasant to you as he was earlier. There is a sharpness in his eyes now as he regards you. You can’t help but feel intimidated by him and you don’t particularly enjoy his sudden coldness. You decide not to think about it too much and just chalk it up to him not being a big fan of wasting this much of his time helping a stranger he just met. What else could it possibly be?

“What do you do for work?” Jimin asks again, abruptly. 

“I am a project manager at LinkSol.” 

“LinkSol, as in LinkSol by Hwan Sana?” 

“That’s the one. Have you worked there before?” you ask, trying to make this interaction between the two of you feel more conversational and less like an interrogation. However, Jimin tilts his head at you as if your question doesn’t make any sense to him. Even Jungkook snickers from where he has been observing the two of you.

“No, I have not worked at LinkSol. I have been an acquaintance of Ms. Sana for some time now, though.” Jimin explains with a shrug of his shoulders. You watch as his eyes take the liberty of regarding your entire figure. Then with a sudden jerk, his gaze jumps up to your face as if he has caught whatever it was he had been looking for and an amused smile forms on his lips. He is about to say something when his phone starts buzzing incessantly in his jeans pocket. He gives a sideways jerk of his neck as he pulls his phone out with a grin.

“Done.” Namjoon’s smooth voice announces as he pushes the door handle and opens the front door to your apartment.

Glee washes over you in waves as you rush into your apartment. God, you could just roll up into bed right now and have the deepest sleep of your life. Unfortunately, you are once again reminded of your unexpected guests and their kindness when Jimin’s voice breaks you out of your reverie. 

“Jin Hyung is calling us all back.” he says and you hear someone, probably Taehyung, groan at the information. Then Jimin’s head peeks around the door of your apartment and he gives you a dazzling smile. “You too. He said something about you forgetting your coat. He seems really forlorn from the sounds of it.”

“Let me get my keys this time.” you say as you walk towards your TV console and pocket the keys, coming back out the door and closing it behind you. Namjoon looks at you with a small shy smile, his dimples making an appearance and you are cruelly reminded of how you never even thanked him. 

“Thank you guys so much. I am so grateful to all of you.” You bite your lip shyly as you look at the four beautiful men standing outside your humble apartment. Namjoon looks down at his feet, and Jimin waves a hand in the air to dismiss the whole thing. 

“No need to thank us, yet. Let us take you back and you can finish all those cookies you ordered from Hobi Hyung.” He places his hand on your back to guide you back down the stairs. There is a sense of excitement in his actions that does not go amiss by you. Just moments ago it felt like he was scrutinizing you and yet now it feels like he is overjoyed at the idea of taking you back to the cafe and as you walk down the familiar staircase for the second time that evening, you wonder what it is that he seems to have gathered from you. 

When you reach the cafe again, it seems livelier. There are other customers inside, ordering drinks and engaging in conversations at various tables in small groups. In fact, as you slowly realize, it seems like the tables are set up in a way that one of the employees are at the center, addressing and chatting with multiple customers at a time. Jimin takes your hand and guides you over to the table where Seokjin is surrounded by about eight people. His eyes meet yours as you take the chair pulled back by Jimin and he gives you a dashing smile. “I thought you’d forgotten all about me, princess.” he coos and you feel the familiar flutter of your heart in your chest.

“Her jacket is what she forgot, I heard.” Jungkook sing-songs as he brushes past you toward the table beside yours, where Taehyung is already seated, surrounded by some people and chatting with them, all smirks and winks. 

Seokjin scowls at Jungkook momentarily before regaining his composure and smiling at the table again. “Either way, it does not matter, for you have found your way back to me again and I couldn’t be happier.” he punctuates the end of his sentence with a flying kiss directed at you. The other people at the table sigh longingly at him.

Okay. This whole thing is starting to feel a bit off to you. That’s an awfully romantic thing to say to someone you just know the name of, right? Someone you just met no longer than an hour ago? And what’s with the swooning? Sure, Seokjin is really handsome and charming, but to hang on to all of his words with such reverence? Maybe you are just too tired to understand all of this. Deciding that you should take yourself back home and sleep the weariness off, you stand up from the table, ready to go. 

“Thank you guys for everything. I would like to go home now, um, where can I find my coat again?” you ask Seokjin who looks brazenly offended like you’d hurt his pride but, nonetheless, points to a door beside the entrance of the cafe. “Right there, angel.”

You nod and hightail it away from the table. Your eyes meet the cute barista from earlier who waves at you enthusiastically. You feel fondness churn your heart and you wave back at him. You twist the door handle to the coat closet and smack your head right against a person, knocking them and yourself off balance. The sudden inertia brings out a yelp from you. You feel strong arms snaking around your waist and holding you against the chest of the person who has acted as a cushion against your fall. They let out a muffled groan from under you when they fall on their ass, their arms still holding you safely. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” You say and try to get up from your place on the floor far too quickly but your arms are entangled with the person below you, making you slump right back on top of them. 

“Patience.” says a deep voice from below you. The arms loosen from their previous position around your waist and instead, hands press against your sides, gently pushing you upward. You press your knees against the hardwood floor as you push your hands against the sides of their shoulders. How dark it is in here is not helping you in any way either. Once sufficiently distanced from the person below you, you look up to find a pair of beautiful, sharp, feline-like eyes staring at you. Even though it is dark you can make out the silhouette of a black mask covering the lower half of their face. 

“Are you okay?” a man’s voice asks you and you pull back further now sitting on your knees as you rub along your left elbow, only out of nerves. 

“I am fine. Are you?!” you ask, your voice pitching with concern. You would be so embarrassed if this person injured themselves while saving you from falling because you were too busy gawking at the barista. You will never show your face at this establishment again.

“Probably nothing too bad.” he says nonchalantly as he sits up as well. “Yoongi.” he extends his hand to you, “And you?”

You take his hand in yours to shake and give him your name. Slowly, the two of you stand up again and try to find your bearings in the dark. As your eyes slowly adjust to the dark further, you notice that Yoongi is wearing some sort of large coat that is shaped more like a cloak. “Wait,” he says and presses the button behind you on the wall, turning the lights on. 

You squint your eyes from the sudden burst of light and catch a flash of pale skin as Yoongi quickly puts his hands inside the pockets of his coat-cloak. You notice he is wearing an entirely black ensemble, with a black mask over his mouth and a black hood pulled over his head. He regards you with the same feline-like eyes that you had been able to catch the intensity of even in the dark. 

“People do not usually come in here.” he says with a questioning furrow of his brows.

Before you can answer him the door is pushed open again and Hoseok is clinging to your back. 

“I heard a loud thud! Are you both okay?! I got so worried!” he spits out the words rapidly, concern evident in his slightly trembling voice.

“We’re fine, Hoba.” Yoongi answers for both of you and you feel Hoseok rubbing his head into your shoulder as he nods. Gently, he lets go of you and steps back.

“That’s good.” he chirps up the next moment and links his pinky with yours. “What are you doing here anyway?” 

“Seokjin told me I can find my coat here, I was just leaving.” you tell him and remind yourself.

This seems to sour Hoseok’s mood. He pouts at you adorably. Seriously, how can a grown man be this precious? 

“We haven’t even played together!” he whines and bats his eyelashes at you. You feel a compelling urge to coo at him but you choose to suppress it. Instead, you put your hand in his soft blonde hair and ruffle them slightly.

“I am sorry. I kinda just wanna go home and sleep. It has been a long day.” You say and spot your coat neatly hung from a coat rack behind Yoongi. You take the coat off the rack and wear it snugly.

“Aw, you didn’t even enjoy the sweets with me. I would have loved to eat them with you.” Hoseok pouts even more and adds a small sniffle that you immediately recognize as an act of dramatic effect.

“Is it only the sweets you want me for?” you playfully chide him. His adorable pout gives way to a mischievous grin as he giggles and hugs himself to you again, hiding his face on your shoulder. 

“You caught me!” he says with a flurry of laughter. Then he pulls away from you as his giggles die down slowly. “I understand you have to go. It makes me sad, though, and not just because of the sweets-related missed opportunity.” he punctuates his words with a gentle nudge of your shoulder. 

You jut out your lower lip at him in adoration, imitating his pout from before. “Maybe we will see each other soon! We can surely hang out then, right?” 

Hoseok’s smile vanishes for a moment as his eyes scan your face in confusion. Slowly then all at once, his eyes soften in realization, and an even bigger grin forms on his lips. “You are adorable!” he giggles but the joke is lost on you. You still find yourself giggling simply because he is giggling. 

Hoseok starts to lead you out of the room with his pinky which is still linked with yours. You hear shuffling of feet behind you and you turn your head slightly to see Yoongi is also following the both of you out, his eyes concentrated on the floor. 

Once you reach the counter, Hoseok lets go of your pinky and goes to his rightful place behind it. “How much do I owe you for today?” you ask him, pulling out your wallet from your coat. 

He is leaning his palms forward on the counter as he types on the computer in front of him. The card machine starts generating a receipt for you. He tears it and hands you one-half of the receipt. You take the receipt and- huh?

This can NOT be right. That’s way too many zeroes. That’s at least three more zeroes than your entire net worth. 

“You made a mistake.” you chuckle nervously as you try to hand the receipt back to Hoseok with wide eyes. He looks at you, presses his lips together, and shakes his head.

“I never make an error. It is absolutely right. You have availed special services of the club today. Multiple hosts left their positions to provide you with a service, even accompanying you to your front door, to be exact. Those are the right charges.” he explains in a cheery yet calm voice that feels anything but reassuring right now.

Hosts? Did he just say hosts? The people who are paid for their company? Then it dawns on you. Bangtan Host Club™. You look around to see how blatantly the name is displayed on the menu cards and the flipbooks on the tables. How several customers are wearing merchandise that reflects the same name. Why had you been so ignorant? Were you so distracted by their charms that you did not even realize what exactly was going on? It is a fucking trademark for God’s sake! How on earth did you miss it?! You feel bile rush up your throat as you look down on the receipt again and the series of zeroes makes you slightly dizzy. 

The next words you screech out come from deep within your bones- “WHAT THE FUCK!” 

Taglist: @im-sinking-in-mud @comingupwithacoolnameishard @loumin908

[katnisspeetaprim]

Pockets

Kim Seokjin/Reader

Summary: It's exciting to find random pockets... Warnings: It's literally not good, but I couldn't get the idea out my head lol.

Word Count: 463 (tiny!) M.list

You had been invited to attend a music awards show. Even though you weren’t a singer you were still a prominent figure in the public eye, so you hoped it would be a good night.

Your boyfriend, Jin, and his group BTS were up for multiple awards so even though the two of you were attending and sitting separately, you would make sure to find him before hand and wish him luck and then cheer him on from your seat.

It’s about an hour in and you hated to say that you were bored. These types of events weren’t as glamourous as they were made out to be on TV. Honestly, all you wanted to do was meet up with Jin and have a nice evening together. Having been away from each other for a few weeks, you missed each other.

With a sigh, you ran your hands along your dress in an attempt to flatten the fabric, when your hands glided over two openings on either side of your hips. What the!? Had your dress ripped? The panic was gone as soon as it came when you realised... Pockets! Finding random pockets on a dress or skirt is one of the best feelings in the world! It was then that you heard the loud voices of the 7 men you’ve gotten to know so well over the years. Without a second thought, you ran , or more like waddled  because of your heels, over to your boyfriend.

‘Jin!’ You shouted with glee. He whipped round at the call of his name and smiled when he saw that it was you.

‘Jagi!’ He basically pushed Taehyung out the way so he could get to you, and bought you into a tight hug. You could hear the other guys greetings for you coming from behind Jin.

‘Wow jagi, you look so beautiful!’ He pulled back and looked at you in awe. To him, you were always beautiful, but this was something else entirely.

‘If you think it’s good now, watch this!’ With that, you shoved your hands in your pockets and pulled them out wide.

‘Look, pockets!’ Jin stared at you for a second, before letting out his iconic laugh. The look of sheer glee on your face was enough to send him.

‘Did you run over here just to show me this?’

‘You wouldn’t understand how exciting it is to find pockets on dresses!’ You pouted and crossed your arms at him as he continue to laugh at you.

‘Fine. I guess you are going home alone tonight then!’ You huffed and began to skip off back to your group.

‘Wait jagi I’m sorry!’ He followed after you, not quite ready to give up on his promised evening of sex later that night.

[darkjimxn]

The Crab Cult || PJM

Summary: a new year of university has begun, but the crab cult remains the same as it's always been.

Pairing: archmajor!Jimin x archmajor!reader

Genre: university au, smau, crack

Warnings: none

A/N: why am I obsessed with Jimin's pfp?

Masterlist || Profiles || Chapter 1

[jaminjims]

「TO MAKE YOU PROUD」

anon request: Hi can you do one but it's not in any of your prompts, but its an eight female member ot7 of course it better if its an ot7 , so can you do where the female reader decided to take online classes but the guys dont know and when its time for her to graduate she tells the boys that theyre going somewhere but doesn't tell them where but when they get there it turns out its her graduation day. Thank you, i just found your account and i love the way you write 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

pairing: bts x f!reader (platonic)

genre: crack!!!, fluff, a tiny bit of angst

warnings: university LOL

words: 2.8k

never let it be said that you didn't like being an idol.

you love how you bring smiles to fans and how your parents talk about you with pride, you especially love the second family you found within your members

you love bts, perhaps more than anything else

although you receive a great amount of love from those around you, the anxiety to live up to those standards accompanies you like a shadow

that brings you to here: your computer light illuminating your face and graham cracker crust on your lips at an hour you should definitely not be up at, staring at one tiny little button that could change your life (you like being dramatic)

now, you have performed on more stages than you can count; given plenty of interviews and have embarrassed yourself a multitude of times in front of millions of people

nothing compares to the nerves you feel as your cursor hovers over the tiny blue button that glares back at you mockingly

'ENROLL'

who knew that one word could be so scary?

never let it be said that you didn't like making people proud, either.

you hit the button and slam your laptop closed, trying not to wake up your groupmates as you muffle a scream into your pillow

you really should've slept like namjoon told you to hours ago

~*~

you were being weird, and the maknaes could practically smell it

on one occasion they actually did. you smelled like you hadn't taken a shower in four days and you definitely looked like it too. was the extended break the company had given bts getting to you?

on your side, you were determined to keep the college classes you signed up for in the degen hours a secret, but damn. your professors made it really hard when they all decided to collectively assign three papers and a test at once

it had been roughly a month since they've started, and you wanted to die

idol training? a piece of cake compared to whatever fresh hell your professors conjured up. did they like torturing you?

what they said in their comments on your past assignments pointed to a boldly printed, neon colored: 'YES'

as you started to drink your fourth coffee of the day, trying to stay coherent enough even though it was only one pm in the afternoon, the maknaes decided to confront you about... whatever has happening to you

jungkook slid inconspicuously into the seat next to you at the dining table and blinked at you with those damn doe eyes

"so... whatcha up too?"

you almost snort your coffee in his face.

jimin, taehyung, and jungkook all look at each other worriedly

"do you need to see a therapist y/n? we know being on break for the first time in a while can be hard, but you really don't look too good." jimin says like the sweetheart he is

before you can reply, a ding from your phone grabs your attention and you look at it only to see the new gut-wrenching comment your writing teacher made on your 'side-effects of the fame of idol life' paper

'i like the enthusiasm, but you almost seem to be invested to the point of being pushy. stop that.'

you whine and slowly lower your head to the table in a dull 'thump'

teahyung sends a text to the group therapist

~*~

it has been about six months since you have started to take online classes, and you like to think that you have gotten marginally better at covering up the lack of sleep and the effect the comments your professors (which honestly, they must be out to get you personally) have on you

your schedule had been resuming as normal starting a few weeks ago and you already missed the blessed days of nothing to worry about except the brutality of college

as you go to put on concealer, you find the bottle suspiciously empty. have the maknaes used your makeup again? (you refuse to believe that you had used the whole bottle that you had only bought two weeks ago)

as you slink into yoongi's room, looking just as tired as you feel, to steal some of his makeup (which will eventually send him into stealing jin's and then from jin to jimin and so on until namjoon has enough and forces you all to get your shit together), he is typing something on his phone with his back to you

"yoongi-ah, i need to makeup"

then he turns around and startles because why do you look like that

yes, why indeed

"you look terrible"

you stare blankly at him and then turn on your heels, "ok, thank you. bye."

he sighs at the ever-persistent pain-in-his-ass that is you and turns you around, genuine worry in his eyes; asking silent questions and giving soft reassurances in case there was anything you needed to get off your chest

you almost tear up because how did you become so lucky

you haven't had your first coffee yet and you get sensitive and squishy when you're tired

once again, you question why you decided to put yourself through this

why do people pay to go through a personalized hell of their own making?

anyways

apparently, you get all broody without sleep as well

you realize you have been staring at yoongi for a few minutes without saying anything, looking like you have no thoughts, head empty

hoseok bursts into the room with all the decorum of a cracked-up butterfly and announces that breakfast is ready

he looks at you and does a double take

"woah."

your forehead meets your palm

yoongi sighs and drags hobi out of the room, "two shots of expresso?"

"add three" you say miserably

another therapist visit you have earned, you realize, as you get the notification that yoongi added it to your calendar

~*~

you skip into dance practice with a beaming smile on your face and practically throw yourself onto hoseok, and because he's hoseok he catches you and twirls you around

for the first time since starting your courses, your excited demeanor isn't caused by enough expresso to kill a small hippo

it's your one-year anniversary! you are halfway there to your degree!

you thank the god that is your mother for forcing you to take all those fancy advanced classes when you were in high school

the urge to actually scream "yippee!" like a cartoon character is surprisingly overwhelming and who are you to deny yourself?

"yippee!"

and because the guys are endlessly supportive, they chime into whatever you're celebrating without even knowing what the hell they are congratulating you for

they have long since gotten used to your strange habits and have learned to play along

i mean, what the hell, right? supporting you in whatever crazed manic episode that has been ongoing for the past 12 months is the least they can do for you

(your therapist said to be supportive)

god decided to give you a call and you answer it without hesitation while still being awkwardly held up by hobi. "hi, mom"

you pat his back to let you down, give him a fist bump, and then leave the room exactly like you came in it

"did she have her mom's contact as god?"

~*~

you, like the past year and half, feel like crying.

it's about that time when you have to start your senior project as an 'accelerated student'

whatever that means

you basically have to come up with a thesis and write a paper on it pertaining to your major, in which usually you would get two years to do

like an idiot, you have six months because you didn't start it when you first started classes

(you would like to see someone else try to balance college and being a world-wide famous idol, okay?)

so, here you are at one am, holding a bottle of apple juice to sooth your inner child, and some flavor blasted goldfish, trying not to cry your eyes out over the blank document that you have been staring at for over ten minutes

you take a deep breath, put your apple juice down, rub you hands together, smack your face, and then force yourself to write down something, anything

'music'

that's how far you get before your phone rings, and because luck is never on your side, you see namjoon's contact who is probably going to tell you to go to bed for the third time

you answer and before he even says anything, your eye's tear up

"joonie..." you whisper, sounding all too much like the sleep deprived child you are

because he is essentially your father, he picks up on it immediately

"y/n-ah," he sighs, because this has become a common occurrence, "what do you need help with?"

"everything," you blubber miserably

so, namjoon stays on the phone with you until four am (even though he is literally down the hall, but he is 'too cozy to move'), helping you come up with a draft thesis statement and introduction you were supposed to turn into your teacher a year ago, and because he is the best person ever! (you change that to his contact) he doesn't ask why you need help writing a thesis, as they know you won't tell them what you've been doing

you both walk into the kitchen the next morning looking, and feeling, like sacks of shit

"uhm." is the eloquent response jimin gives to the look the both of you have on your faces

jin wordlessly hands you both coffee with too much expresso and kisses your foreheads because he is amazing and he hopes it will hold you two together until at least the meeting with the staff is over

you and namjoon's phones go off with a ding! at the same time, and you both have matching therapy appointments

yay! the lunacy is spreading!

~*~

you are in the home stretch

you can smell it, feel it, even fucking taste it

and as you hover over the finally for-the-love-of-god-get-this-paper-out-of-my-fucking-face-thesis submit button, you countdown to yourself like an astronaut about to take off

"three, two, one..." you take a deep breathe, "lift off!" you hit the button

as soon as it says upload complete, you cry tears of joy

victory has never tasted so fucking sweet in your life (although maybe that was the cosmic brownie you had a few minutes ago)

~*~

within the next week, you talk to management about letting the boys attend your graduation ceremony and of course management says yes (they knew you were taking classes, even though you didn't tell them. talk about scary corporate companies knowing your every move)

and when the day arrives when you finally get your diploma, you are more nervous than you've been since your debut

the boys are a big reason why you've decided to pursue your education, and even if they didn't know it, you wouldn't have been able to make it without them

you aren't one to be sentimental, but you kinda want to cry at just how much you feel

you made it. achieved one of your dreams, not only for you, but for them.

you take a deep breath and you let the sense of fulfillment take over your heart and you let it sit there

your phone goes off, and it's the management telling you that the graduation event is ready, and that in kahoots with the online school you attended, they are ready to have the ceremony

"ok boys! time to roll out!" you scream, even though they have all sitting in the living room ready for thirty minutes because you made sure they would be ready by the time you had to go

"y/n, can you please tell us where we are going?" teahyung asks as he links arms with you

"nope!" you chirp, and because you are mean you add, "it's a surprise!"

jungkook comes up to link his other arm in yours, "does this have anything to with how you've been acting for a while?"

damn, he really is the golden maknae

you are suspiciously silent and everyone is suddenly weary of where you are taking them

you weren't going to murder them in a fit of hysteria, right?

but looking at your smiling and blushing face, they all can't help but smile with you and trust

the ride to the venue is only about fifteen minutes and you can't help but be excited and talk animatedly with your members

you almost spill the beans about where you're going but manage to not give too much away (barely, you kind of think the franticness is due to caffeine withdrawal)

before you know it, the eight of you are pulling up into the parking lot and the others look out with perplexed frowns on their faces

you look at them with a smile, "you trust me, yeah?"

they look to you and grin, "always."

you all walk in and when you get inside the venue hallways, you split from the group and manager sejin (just barely) corrals the boys forward without you

you run to get ready and put on your cap and gown, and you have to take another deep breath when you look at yourself in the mirror, because wow. if you knew a graduation gown would look this good you would have graduated college a long time ago

(you only just manage to keep the tears from ruining your makeup)

when the boys enter into a private room and see all of the other people sitting down in the stadium seats, their first thought is that you are holding some sort of surprise concert or something. they honestly don't have any idea what you are going to do, and they joke about how you are going to perform a magic show or some other equally ludicrous event

the lights dim and all of their attention is on the empty chairs sitting in the middle of the auditorium, and then all of a sudden a spotlight shines onto the graduates who walk in from the side entrance

speakers start to blast the school anthem (not that they know that) as the graduates make their way to their seats and boys gasp when they see you on the big screen

"is that-?"

"no fucking way."

"what is she doing?"

because there you are, flashing a peace sign and sticking your tongue out to the camera man who's broadcasting it to the big screen, walking to your designated chair

you will always and forever be a dork

they all laugh incredulously and can't help but have to sit down in shock

none of them can speak as the principal of the school introduces the class of 2023 graduates. he goes through what the school stands for and blah blah blah

when the time finally comes where you have to line up and get your diploma's, namjoon, hoseok, seokjin, and jungkook are crying, yoongi hides his smile behind his hands, and teahyung and jimin has ceased to function as they watch on, barely able to breathe

they all hold their breath as you finally walk up on to the stage and shake the principals hand

"y/n l/n, 2023 graduate with a degree in the arts of music writing and production"

the boys have never cheered so loudly in their life, and you swore you could hear them from your spot up on stage

you smile so big and wide and take a second to stand on the stage and bow, and the boys who weren't crying before definitely are now

its all a blur as you make it off of the stage and ushered into the private room the boys are in. you don't even make it three steps in before you are surrounded on all sides

"i can't believe you did this."

"y/n, you're amazing."

"i knew you weren't just going crazy."

there are voices all around you. some are laughing, some are praising you, all are crying

jin pulls you from the group in a hug that lifts your feet off the floor, "is this why you manhandled me into making you so much food the last few days?"

you laugh and whip at your eyes, "yeah, i wanted to have a good dinner when we got home" he sets you down and pulls you into his side with an arm around your shoulder

"i am so, so proud of you." he whispers into your hair

taehyung comes up on your other side and hugs you around the waist, "we all are"

your eyes tear up and before you know it you are wailing like a baby again

"i love you guys more than anything in the world," you whine out, a blubbering mess

they all smile and make fun of you, and there is nothing that can beat the feeling that wells up in your chest

never let it be said you don't like making people proud

later, a horrendously ugly photo of you crying with the guys all around you is uploaded to all of your social medias and your face is made into a meme, but, hey, you made it out alive, and that's all that mattered

(even if you did have to see a therapist)

[end]

a/n: what better way to jumpscare ya'll with an update other than with crack? but in all seriousness, i am so so so sorry this was so late anon! you've waited literal years, and i would write an ao3-usque excuse but i don't even deserve it ;( as always, i hope you guys have an amazing week, and i love you bunches (please imagine that in a skrunkly old grandma voice) ♡♡♡

masterlist!

request something! (pls, for the love of everything holy, check the request status first!)

[indijoon]

+ bonus, ot7

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

bangtan + the internet (4/?)

[jiminsblondehair]

BIG BACK -

[ ot7 ]

(profiles have been posted on my acc!!)

hellooo! its my first time doing one of these so im kinda nervous to post..（ ; ; ）buttt i hope you guys enjoyed it! lmk if i could do anything better, feedback is appreciated!!!

highly inspired by whyse7vn

[7ndipity]

Cryptid/Ghost Hunting

Ot7 x reader

Crack

Warnings: none I think

Masterlist

Spooktober m.list

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Seokjin: Assuming you can pry him out of the car, he will be practically glued to your side the whole night. Will try to crack jokes to lighten the mood, but if something actually spooky happens, he's throwing you over his shoulder and bolting.

8/10 for effort

Yoongi: Waay too quiet, it honestly freaks you out a bit. Dissolves into smoke and teleports back to the car at the first sound. He IS the cryptid.

9/10 for the plot twist

Hobi: You will have to drag him kicking and screaming(you've seen the zombie episode of run!). If anything happens, he's out of there so fast, he's half-way back to the car before he realizes he forgot you.

2/10 don't do it to him, please.

Namjoon: Skeptic, tries to debunk everything. Refuses to admit to seeing anything, even if the ghost was standing right in front of him. "I'm looking right at it!" You insist. "It's a trick of the light."

5/10 feels like a buzzfeed unsolved episode.

Jimin: He tries to play it cool at first, but at the first noise he jumps on you like a scooby doo cartoon. Hangs off of you like a backpack and refuses to let go the rest of the night.

7/10 for effort, but your back's gonna hurt

Taehyung: Turns hunting for UFOs into a midnight picnic date, which is cute until he ends up falling asleep on you and misses the weird lights shooting around the sky.

6/10 for the aesthetic

Jungkook: Literally walks in like "Hey there, demons. it's me, ya boy." Isn't afraid of anything. Would be laughing his ass off while being suspended in the air by some otherworldly force.

10/10 but no one will believe you

[monoreel]

SLOW DANCING (2023)

[youcanwatchmebutcanttouchme]

BTS as parents

Pairings:Sope,Namjin,Vminkook

【★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆】

Namjin:

(Children:Kim Namseok,Kim Namhee(김남석,김남희))

Jin:Namjoon!Have you seen Namhee?

Joon:Namseok,where is your sister?

Namseok:*points to the fridge*

Jin:*opens the fridge*OH MY POOR BABY!

Namhee:*dies inside*

Sope:

(Children:Jung Min,Jung Minwoo(정민,정민우))

Hoseok:*Over the phone*Uuuuhhh… Yoongi?

Yoongi:*Already disappointment*What?

Hoseok:So hypothetically,what should I do if hypothetically the twins get their head stuck on a gate?

Yoongi:The twins got their head stuck on the railing?

Jung Min and Minwoo:*Bawling their eyes out*

Hoseok:*defeated*Yes…

Vmin:

(Child:Kim Baekhoon(김백훈))

Taehyung:So,did you sleep well jagiya?

Jimin:*dead inside,holding a sleeping Baekhoon*

Taehyung:…So no?

Jikook:

(Child:Jeon Baekyung(전배경))

Jimin:So Baekyung,do you like appa or dada?

Baekyung:*Crawls towards Jungkook*

Jungkook:*Picks her up*You really are a daddy’s girl

Jimin:*dies inside,again*How dare you I carried you for 9 months-

Taekook:

(Child:Jeon Taejinhae(전태진해))

Taehyung:I think Yeontan and Bam like our daughter more than us

Jungkook:What makes you say that?

TJH:*playing with Yeontan while sitting on Bam*

[whyse7vn]

KIM TAEHYUNG

HERE:

[ recommend that you read this for context ]

“You’re…. here?” Taehyung is confused.

It’s not like he was unhappy to see you or anything, in fact his insides felt as if they could fucking explode out of joy right now you’re here. He could of sworn you were mad at him, like reallly mad at him like i’m not talking to you for at least 24 hours, running you over with a car in my mind i’ll push you off a bridge type of mad at him but like he said you’re… here, at his front door. Kinda weird he notes, you definitely do have a key that you make very frequent use of but he decides he’ll call you out on it later.

“Problem?” You voice seems hoarse.

Taehyung frowns. Had you been crying?

You immediately notice the frown that boy in front of you wears and let out a small cough in an attempt to clear your throat.

“Problem?” You try again followed by an awkward smile.

Taehyung can’t help but mirror your small smile with his own boxy grin “Never”

———————-

You now sit on Taehyung’s soft brown couch legs crossed holding one of his many decorative pillows to your chest. You inhale deeply and a musky wood scent fills your nose as you exhale his automatic air freshener, located on a shelf near his tv, goes off and a sickly sweet rose scent fills the room. You scrunch your nose up in disgust but choose not to comment on it knowing that your complaints will fall onto deaf ears as Taehyung claims the smell is “super romantic and alllll the girls love it” You giggle at the memory.

“Water right?”

You break away from your thoughts and look over your shoulder to find Taehyung’s eyes staring right back at you over his kitchen counter. You’ve always liked the way Taehyung’s place was laid out. The open plan really helps his home feel connected and has become your groups go to when hanging out.

You give Taehyung a small nod and turn back around. Something’s…. missing. Your gaze falls to the floor. Oh. You now notice one of Yoentan’s chew toys tucked under the corner of Tae’s fluffy carpet, the toy is purple in colour and what seems to be in a bone shape. Your lips pull into a smile.

“Where’s Tan?” You question.

Unbeknownst to you Tae freezes. “I— erm he’s with my parents right now” He internally cringes he hates lying to you. “Schedules have been real busy lately had to put him somewhere” At least that part was true.

Realistically there was no need to lie you about Yeontan’s whereabouts. I mean sure you would have looked at him funny probably asked a bunch of questions too but ultimately he could have told you. Yet he knew as soon as that question left your mouth he wasn’t going to tell you the truth.

Simply because he’s afraid.

Afraid that you’ll be ok with where Yeontan is right now. Who he’s with right now. And knowing you as much as Taehyung hates to admit it you most likely would be okay with it. You’ll probably read into it congratulate him on finding someone. Taehyung physically rolls his eyes at the thought. He wants you to burn like he did, like he does. He wants the thought of him choosing to leave Yeontan in the care of her instead of you consumes you whole. He wants it to devour you to haunt your every waking thought he wants it to—

“He’s all the way in Deagu? You know i would of taken him if you needed me to”

Taehyung blinks “I know”

He definitely does know.

But call him jealous, call him petty he didn’t care the thought of you and Jaehyun, Joon, Yoongi, Kook and fuck even Hoseok now consumed him. Consumes him. And that’s practically why he felt no shame in calling that number buried so deep in his contact list a week ago.

Now though, he must admit as he sits around an arms length away from you on his couch this whole “no shame” thing he was feeling before had just turned into pure guilt. Taehyung desperately tries to find your eyes but you refuse to make contact the air around you both suddenly awkward. Do you know he’s lying to you perhaps? Or is this just you upset because of the breakup? It’s very rare for Taehyung to be at a loss of what to say most of the time, so with everything in him he decides to break the awkwardness that has somehow found you both.

“Soooo…you went to see Hobi?”

Your eyes lighten up instantly thankful that Tae had taken the initiative to break the silence “Yeah i just wanted to make sure he got that the whole situation wasn’t actually his fault you know he gets in his head about that kind of stuff”

Taehyung nods along with what your saying

Another wave of awkward silence takes over.

You sigh and begin to get up off the couch.

“Maybe i should lea—”

“Did you fuck him?”

Both you and Tae’s eyes widen after the bold question leaves the man’s lips. Taehyung even slaps his hand over his mouth to had to the dramatics of it all.

“I’m sorry?” You begin

“No i’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to ask that i just— i just noticed you are wearing Hobi’s hoodie and i just thought that— you know so i asked and—” Tae rambles trying to save himself.

You look down at the light blue hoodie you’re wearing very clearly not yours and equally clearly Hoseok’s due to the bold “J-HOPE” printed on each hoodie cuff and it entirely being a little too big for you. You look back up from the hoodie to Tae finding him still rambling on.

“I mean with you Jaehyun it’s like crazy so if you—”

You make eye contact with Taehyung and he shuts up almost immediately.

“What if i did?” The air shifts.

“Huh?” Taehyung is quick to reply

“Fuck Hoseok, what if i did fuck Hoseok?”

“T-thats cool” Taehyung suddenly feels small under your intense gaze.

“Is it?” You press

Taehyung nods unable to trust his own voice right now.

“Are you sure Taehyung?”

“Super sure. I don’t care”

“Then why ask?”

Taehyung turns his head away from you breaking the eye contact you both once held. The Tension in the room in the room is thick, suffocating. Taehyung takes a deep breath.

You’re here.

And Taehyung is still confused as to why. You’re making him feel guilty. Taehyung has nothing to feel guilty about. You’re still here you shouldn’t be here. Not after what’s happened today no. You’re here, why are you still here? This isn’t fair, not on him on you, on Hobi, on Joon Yoongi Koo—

Your delicate fingers on his jaw pull Taehyung both out of this spiralling thoughts and his head to face you again.

“I’m here” You speak slowly to him.

Taehyung can’t breath, he won’t breathe he refuses to breathe so many thoughts, too many thoughts it’s-it’s all not fair. Hot, his body feels hot his mind feels hot everything is just hot and the way you’re looking at him is just so…

Hot.

Fuck it. Taehyung throws all the nonexistent composure he had out the window and tugs you closer smashing his lips onto yours. His hands immediately find you hair while yours find rest on his neck your tongues dance in each other’s mouths for what feels like hours your kiss filled with so much passion and unspoken words before Taehyung pulls away for some much needed air. His hair just as disheveled as yours and lips just as swollen he smiles at you. He doesn’t say anything just stares and smiles. You go to open you mouth to say something but he’s quick to cut you off by diving back into your lips. He does this partly out of fear you’ll ask him to stop say this isn’t right and leave and party no fuck that definitely because if your lips aren’t on him in the next five seconds he’ll actually pass away.

In this moment Taehyung is happy. He’s happy and you’re here.

—

i don’t know where tf this came from shocked at myself actually

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp

[serenecypher]

Bangtan Host Club Chapter Three

Genre: BTS Ot7xf!Reader, Poly!AU, Fluff, Romance, Crack-ish, Eventual Smut.

W/C: 2592

Summary: Tired of your boring mundane life? Become an exclusive member of The Bangtan Host Club™ today and let 7 charming men help you out.

Warnings: This chapter is rated PG13, but future chapters may include Mature Themes. The reader goes through the five stages of grief. 😔

Disclaimer: Please do not copy/translate or cross-post my work. The tag list is open. Just DM or send an ask to be included.

A/N: Hi! Sorry for the long wait. Thank you guys so much for being patient. 💕 This chapter isn't edited very much, so I am sorry for any dumb mistakes. Please do send my any feedback! 👉🏻👈🏻

Also, now that we have met everyone, here is the cast:

Kim Namjoon as “Takashi Morinozuka”

Kim Seokjin as “Tamaki Suoh”

Min Yoongi as "Umehito Nekozawa"

Jung Hoseok as "Mitsukuni Haninozuka”

Park Jimin as “Kyoya Ootori”

Kim Taehyung as “Kaoru Hitachiin”

Jung Jungkook as "Hikaru Hitachiin”

Congrats to everyone who guessed the right picks lmaooo! I had so much fun writing Chapter 3, I hope you enjoy it. See you sooooon! <3

Chapter 2 << Chapter 3 >>

You can count the number of times you have felt such unbridled mortification on one hand. One was when you were playing the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz showcase during your elementary school talent show and, just as you got on the stage, could not for the life of you stop the unrelenting hiccups out of performance anxiety. Or, that one time in middle school, when you spilled all of your half-digested breakfast on the shoes of that one senior guy you had a crush on because you had a bad stomach flu.

This, you internally scream at yourself, is probably the most dread you have felt in all your adult years.

The receipt you can not avert your eyes from shakes between the tips of your index finger and thumb. Is it your hand that is shaking? You really can’t tell. Something bitter twists in your chest that makes you repeat as you squint your eyes at Hoseok. “What the fuck?!”

He looks at you stunned, but definitely not unprepared. He sighs deeply as he tries to console you, “I am here to help you with any concerns you might have.” 

You snap your head to look at the rest of the people in the Cafe- Club- whatever this place is. There are various degrees of horrified looks on the faces of the other- are they supposed to be patrons or customers or-? God this is so confusing. You let out the longest sigh and your other hand, the one without that malignant piece of paper, rubs across your face. 

“There is no way in hell I am paying this.” you declare, looking right back at Hoseok. Just minutes ago you would have never thought of him as someone you’d have talked to in this agitated manner but also minutes ago, he wasn’t a person who claimed you owed his establishment all your family assets and then some. 

There is a loud scraping of a chair behind you and before you can turn to see who it is, Seokjin’s gentle voice is carrying through the room. “I am deeply apologetic to our guests tonight but due to unforeseen circumstances, the club will reschedule your time with the hosts at a later date. Kindly grant us an excuse this once.”

There are murmurs and hushed whispers behind you. The obnoxious sound of various people shuffling footsteps toward the exit amidst the awkward silence that had followed your outburst is acting as the fuel to the simmering rage in your chest. You feel more than see the icy glares people direct at you for ruining what was probably supposed to be a night of entertainment and good company for them. The thought makes you shudder as embarrassment crawls up your spine. You fix your gaze on your tapping shoe against the plush carpet and cross your arms in front of your chest. 

“Now,” Seokjin continues once it is only you and the other hosts remaining, “What might be the issue, beautiful?”

You inhale deeply before you turn to him, expecting him to look irritated by you. Instead, his eyes are full of mirth as he lifts an amused eyebrow at you. His hands rest on the table in front of him, palms down as he leans his tall frame forward. It irks you. 

“I said I am not paying that ridiculous amount for a coffee I did not even finish. You can not make me.” 

Seokjin’s lips form a small o shape as he pretends to sincerely consider your words. “It is not the coffee you are paying for though, darling. That is complimentary.” He says it like it is obvious. You feel a familiar twitch in your temple. “You are paying for the additional services you have utilized this evening.”

You can feel yourself seething but for the sake of not becoming liable to any property damage, you reign your fury. “I will do no such thing. I had no idea what kind of an establishment this is.”

“We keep that in mind.” Taehyung intervenes, his dark brown eyes sparkling at you intently. “Besides the several, and might I remind you, very prominently displayed boards with our club trademark, the first visits to the guests are usually not chargeable, a free trial if you will.”

“You, however, took four of us with you, to your apartment no less, and Namjoon Hyung even did locksmithing for you.” Jungkook adds from where he is standing next to Taehyung. He smirks at you, and it takes everything in you from banging your fist on the nearest table. 

“He offered!” You argue, wincing at the sound of your voice. 

“He is supposed to. Accepting is completely beholden to you.” Seokjin adds with a tilt of his head to the left that you can only assume to be satirizing. “The club hosts offer services to the guests and if they choose to accept them, they are liable to the charges.” he says, shrugging those ridiculously broad shoulders of his nonchalantly. 

You scoff at this, your glare now directed at Namjoon, who to his credit looks like a big puppy that has been reprimanded by his owner for bringing the newspaper in the mornings, only slightly covered in drool.  

Your shoulders slump in defeat. They are not wrong, you think. When you enter a place that offers you any kind of service, and you make use of said service, you are, as a consumer obliged to pay the fee for that service. “I can not pay that amount. I do not have that kind of money.” At this, the room falls into silence. God, these hosts must earn so much that the concept of living paycheque to paycheque must be alienating to them. 

After what seemed like an eternity, when it was probably only six minutes tops, Jimin who had been sitting on his chair quite comfortably so far takes an exaggerated inhale before intoning, “Well, we might be able to offer you something to help with that.” 

You look at him sheepishly and he continues, “If you can not pay us in terms of funds, pay us in service.” 

What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Is this like some sort of hidden camera prank? Are Pauly and Vinny about to come burst down the doors as a cameraman pushes his gigantic camcorder in your face yelling “You just got MTV pranked!” 

Your bewildered expression must have been too obvious because Jimin adds “I am serious. Work for us.”

Now you are even more confused. Work for them? As an employee? You can not be a host. You have a day job. A job that feels like going through the depths of hell every day, but a job nonetheless. Your tongue twists in your mouth as you try to swallow saliva down your dry throat. “What does that mean?”

“You said you worked at LinkSol, right? By Hwan Sana?” Jimin asks and it's as if he just talked about Voldemort judging by the dramatic gasp from Seokjin’s lips and his hand on his chest, clutching pearls. “You should come work for us, as our manager. Trust me, you’d be doing yourself a favor too.” 

“That’s your solution? Servitude compulsory labor?” you resign. “Do you think we are in the 17th century?” Change is not a friend to you. Yes, your job is torture but you’ve grown accustomed to the routine. This is asking a lot of you. 

“Why, you got something better?” he counters. “We can not waive off your fee, you can not pay it to us. We have an open position and you are at a shitty job. The way I see it, there are no losing parties.”

“You will get to work stable hours that are open to negotiation. We will pay you a salary, also negotiable, from which we will deduct a monthly interest that will serve as your payment.” Jimin pulls out his phone and taps away for a few seconds before humming to himself and adding, “It will take you about 18 months to pay off everything and then you are free to discuss the position as you wish.”

18 months? That does not seem like enough time to pay off everything, does it? Exactly how much are they planning to give you as a salary? Before you can ask, you bite your tongue, wise words from your mother at your college graduation dinner resounding in your head, “Never let an employer know you were expecting less payment for your hard work than what they offered you. They must recognize some worth in you that you may be oblivious to.” 

You furrow your eyebrows, trying to paint the most corporate expression on your face as you return a single nod toward Jimin. “That seems reasonable, but I would like to discuss everything from the profile and my responsibilities openly before deciding.” Jimin presses his thick lips in a flat line, nodding his agreement. 

“Of course, take your time. We can set up a formal meeting anytime you want this week,” he informs.

“And,” you interrupt, suddenly remembering how you got yourself in this position in the first place, “I want it all in writing. No more errors in intentions.”

There is a cough from behind you by Yoongi which sounds suspiciously like a chocked back chuckle. Jimin too bites the inside of his cheek, eyelashes fluttering as he nods again. “We will make sure.”

“Now that all that is over can we please just have something to eat Hobi Hyung? I am starving here.” Jungkook sighs dramatically. “And you, come sit with us, we are not working anymore and I know you are exhausted so you might as well eat now.”

You eye him suspiciously. The other boys all walk up to his table as Namjoon and Hoseok go back toward the kitchen. Even though you trudge over to his table, you can’t help but snark at him, “Would this not be added to my debt to you?”

“Fiesty.” he grins and pulls out a chair for you. “And no. Like I said, we are off work so consider this just a dinner with your future colleagues.” 

You hum dejectedly as you sit at the table with your arms still crossed over your chest. This evening has been a year’s worth of events for you and you seriously can not keep your head up anymore. So you lay your head on the soft white satin tablecloth and groan mutely to yourself. 

“It won’t be that bad working here, pretty girl. You’ll see.” Taehyung says softly from where he sits beside you. You raise your head at him, without straightening your back completely, and are surprised to find him looking at you with no more amusement, just what seems like empathy. Your heart betrays you by fluttering. Why do all of them have to be so attractive? It would be so easy to hate them right now if that wasn’t going on. Life is so unfair.

Seokjin’s hand rests on your shoulder giving it a slight squeeze. “You are so knackered. What were they making you do at LinkSol?” 

It is a rhetorical question, you know that, but you’d just love to dump all of your exhausting work stories on someone if only you had the energy to do that. So you just whine noncommittally and put a pin on telling those stories some other day. After all, they are going to be your “colleagues” as they said. Seokjin takes your palm in his and gently starts to massage your hand. His large hand engulfs yours as his thumbs press into the center of your palm. You give him a confused stare.

“What?” he questions softly.

“What are you doing?” you ask, pointing your nose down to where he is still caressing your hand.

“What does it look like I am doing? I am helping you.” he says it like it is the most obvious thing you could have asked him. 

“Don’t think so deeply about it, sweetheart,” Jungkook says as he grins softly at you, “Hyung has a habit of doing things like that. Just let it be, he means no harm.”

“Yeah, but he is annoying as hell.” Taehyung chips in.

This makes a scowl appear on Seokjin’s face. “I taught you better than that, you shameless brat.” 

“You didn’t teach me shit.” Taehyung gruffs, although he does seem to quiet down after that. 

Jimins rolls his eyes at the both of them and diverts his attention back on you. “I have a better question. I get it about Jin Hyung, he gives off that vibe,” which you think is a slight hidden in the guise of a statement towards Seokjin, “but you didn’t think that we were acting… unusually, around you?”

To be honest, yes. It was definitely strange how these incredibly attractive men were the embodiment of cats with a ball of yarn with you, but that is the point. You were so distracted by the way they looked and how they were very obviously flirting with you that you never even questioned why. You weren’t going to tell them that though. How flustering that idea is, makes a sheen of sweat break out on your hairline. “N-no. I didn’t think of it as anything out of the ordinary.”

It seems like you picked the wrong choice because an impish grin curves along Jimin’s lips as his eyes linger on yours. “So it is a normal occurrence for you. People just flirt with you wherever you go?”

When he puts it like that, it makes your cheeks burn. It is further compounded by Taehyung who admonishes Jimin, “C’mon, Hyung! Stop teasing the poor girl.” He gives you a smirk and a dramatic once-over, before adding “I mean look at her. I wouldn’t dream otherwise”

The way his gaze is suddenly heated makes you choke on your own spit a little. Your heart stutters in your ribcage. Even Yoongi who has been decidedly quiet this entire time leans forward on the table from across you. “Cute.” he mutters, his sharp eyes boring straight into you.

Jimin sighs a deep breath. He plays with the button on the cuff of his shirt as he looks down at the table, “I am not questioning it. I just don’t think I like the idea too much.”

What was that about being “off work”? Aren’t they supposed to not be this charming anymore? Then why are they so intent on making you feel so bashful?! Before you can put too much thought into the matter, the doors to the kitchen open, and Namjoon and Hoseok carry with them two large trays full of food and coffee. As soon as the trays are placed on the table, Hoseok wraps his arms around you, pressing his chest to the back of your chair.

“I am sorry that this is how things turned out, angel.” he whines and Namjoon gives you a small smile as he takes a seat beside Seokjin, “Look on the bright side though. Now we can share all the sweets we want and play together.” he giggles. You smile gratefully at his optimism.

Maybe it won’t be that bad, you think as Jungkook passes you a plate of sandwiches. They seem like nice people, they are allegedly paying you a much better salary than you get at your job, and if nothing else, at least they are a nicer view instead of the drab walls of your office.  

Taglist: @im-sinking-in-mud @comingupwithacoolnameishard @loumin908 @btsizlyfe @talyaaas-blog @ldysmfrst @socksfirst1 @aliceoracleollormusic

[katnisspeetaprim]

Enlistment

Jung Hoseok/Reader drabble

Completley self indulgence after the announcement the other day. I'm writing to cope basically lol. Also I'm writing on my phone so sorry about mistakes!!

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of enlistment.

M.list

You couldn't believe it was finally happening. You knew at thos point that it would be sooner rather than later, but him canceling his postponement was what made reality really set in.

'We talked about this jagi. I told you everything will be fine.' When he told you that they were putting up the notice that day, you had pretty much jumped on him and refused to let go. He was more than happy to lay down and hold you close.

'I know, but now that it's finally happening it doesn't feel real.' He hmmed in response as he caressed your hair.

'I feel weird too but I know it's the right time.' He nodded to himself as he smiled down at you.

'Ah!' You groaned 'why are you comforting me? Shouldn't it be the other way round?' You smiled at him, propping yourself up on your elbow so that your face could hover next to his.

'Cause you're the one who is acting like I'm gonna completely disappear for 2 years! We'll still be able to talk you know.' Hobi reached over to gently stroke your cheek.

'I know.' You whispered back, leaning down to capture his lips with your own. You pulled back and grinned at him, before springing up off the bed.

'We need to go out tonight! I'm definitely gonna be spoiling you as much as possible before you leave!' You felt a little better after your talk. There as no pont spending all day moping about the situation when you could be using the time together in much better ways.

'I won't say no to that!' He giggled after you, as you all but ran into your walk in closet to pick out an outfit.

He came to lean against the door frame, watching with a grin as you threw all your clothing about.

'I'm gonna do a short live before anything.' He suddenly spoke, making you look up at him.

'Let ARMY know everything is OK.'

'I think that's probably a good idea considering how I reacted I can only imagine how well ARMY are holding up.' You both shared a laugh together.

'I'm gonna get ready. Take as long as you need.' You beamed at him, reaching out to hug him and steal another kiss.

'Thanks jagi. I love you'

'I love you too Hobi.'

[pviscelle]

Remember You: My Happiness | MasterPost

Pairing: Taehyung x Female Character

Genre/Tags: Classic, Romance, Fluff

Word Count: 11.6k+

Status: Ongoing

Rating: Teen and Up Audience

Synopsis: With the ocean breeze silencing us, we remain unperturbed, strangely. She and I static against the moving waves in front, staring at the moon, the same inconstant moon she referenced from a while ago. But that was until something about gazing at the twilit sky stirred a familiar sentiment and prompted the cynicism I came to be for nine long years.

"I don't understand how people can easily forget the person they claimed to love once."

From afar, tintinnabulations of church bells chimed, providing for the delicacy that her next words carried, therefore contradicting my belief of offending her, as she said, "Whoever said about forgetting when one can remember them even if they choose to move on, Tae?"

The comfort of her smile wrapped around me like orchids blooming in early spring, tying me to the night for the next two months of summer. I inhaled sharply.

OR

Kim Taehyung, a 22-year-old intern at Seoul Art Gallery, experiences a waver in his opinions toward life and love after differing them with the perceptions of a specific woman he met in France.

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