#king coronabeth

[winepresswrath]

the thing about ianthe is that she's no one's favourite by her own tortured design. if coronabeth was generally known to not be a necromancer that would instantly give Ianthe something special she has that Coronabeth does not. a way to distinguish herself and be needed and appreciated is within her grasp her whole entire life! and not only does she never even think about it she doesn't even make herself look like the better necromancer. they're both medium necromancers as far as the outside world is concerned. Ianthe made herself mediocre on purpose because she needs to match.

[mayasaura]

What if we're just a little off the mark, when it comes to Ianthe's goals? It does seem like she's trying to become god. Studying resurrection theory, energy transfers, trying to replicate John's stasis trick on those apples. But Ianthe has always either shied from or been denied the spotlight. And the path she's on starts with her specialising in Resurrection theory.

What was the Resurrection, other than the obvious? It was the first recorded act in history, the beginning of necromancy. Why would a girl playing power double for her non-adept sister want to learn the secrets of the Resurrection? Well, there are plenty of reasons, but one that comes to mind is to learn how to make someone a necromancer who isn't. The first necromancer had to have gained the power somehow, right? Can you control who is and isn't a necromancer, if you're willing to pay the price? And then there was the conversation between Coronabeth and Judith, where they as much as said Corona could be king, but for the lack of job openings.

Whether she knows it yet or not, I suspect Ianthe's long-term plans are bending toward making Coronabeth god. All because she didn't want to keep doing her sister's homework.

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

ok the way gender is treated in the tlt books is fucking revolutionary all around and i could probably make one of these posts for each of the characters individually, but i've always found coronabeth's gender presentation in particular to be oddly compelling. like, it's subtle, but it's absolutely there.

she's blonde and leggy and curvy and the way she appeals to people is on the face of it very feminine. she is arguably one of the most femme characters in the series. but also. she strides into the room like a lion. she looks like a king. she's tall and toned and commanding and she looks damn good in cargo pants. one of the primary descriptors nona uses for her is big. that is the true appeal of coronabeth, isn't it? she commands attention, she commands respect, she takes up space. that is a very traditionally masculine way to interact with people and it's only ever noted with admiration bordering on awe.

and isn't that kind of incredible? arguably the most femininely attracive character in the series is appealing the way statues of goddesses are appealing. she's gallant and confident and bossy and big.

god, i love this series.

[liesmyth]

the locked tomb holiday exchange rec list

Behold! The good, the magnificent, the sad! The filth and the angst and the feelings! The weird shit that would make TazMuir proud! 💀🎉✨☠️🔥🎊

Here are some favourites from a skim of works posted for @tlt-holiday-exchange, both art and fic. They are MANY and they are JUICY. Find the entire collection HERE, and keep an eye on for authors reveal coming soon!

ART FILLS

A Beautiful Fairy Tale. Wake tells little Bomb a bedtime story but she can't mention a princess without talking about guillotines. Rated T.

Dubious Curiosity. Nona is curious. Nona loves everyone. And Nona wants Cam. (Camilla/Nona) Rated M.

Fingers In Her Mouth. Camilla Hect misses the Warden. Maybe he can lend a helping hand… even in death. (Camilla/hand!Palamedes) Rated M.

just guys being bros. Camilla/Gideon. Gideon touches a boob! A very happy new year to awkward butch lesbians everywhere. Rated T.

Pyrrha Dve Appreciation. Pyrrha & Nona, soft hugs! Rated G.

Stealing Breath. Camilla/Gideon butch-off make-out session. Rated G.

To Shreds, You Say? Pyrrha/Mercymorn/Wake fucking nasty. Rated E.

FIC FILLS

a buried and a burning flame. Coronabeth fucks Gideon's corpse. Rated E.

For all intents and purposes the corpse of the Ninth’s cavalier is a bad lay. That’s all fine, though.

a grave, deep and narrow. Camilla/Palamedes, GtN AU, Character Death, Tape Recorder Conversation Redux. Podfic included! Rated T

Only Lyctors were meant to leave the First House alive. Ianthe insists on bringing Coronabeth; Judith dies of her injuries. Camilla is stranded alone at Canaan House — alone, except for the persistent hallucinations of her necromancer.

affix. Coronabeth/Harrow, humiliation kink, improper use of bones, dom!Harrow, GtN era. rated E.

Cytherea doesn't go to Canaan House AU - Corona overconfidently approaches Harrow in the hopes of exchanging lab keys. Harrow humbles her quickly.

AITA for telling my dad I didn't like my birthday party? Gideon & John, In-Universe Social Media, Character study, Rated T.

I (20F) told my dad (45?M) that I wanted a cool birthday party, but he threw me a terrible birthday party instead. Am I really the asshole for telling him I didn't like it?

and kings shall come out of thy loins. Gideon/Ianthe, crack treated seriously, body horor, SNAKES. Rated M.

Ianthe saves God from the stoma and the River and all she has to show for it are these fucking snubes.

come, dearest heart. Lyctor Palamedes AU, HtN era. Camilla/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Camilla/Palamedes. Rated E.

In Canaan House, Palamedes Sextus unwillingly ascends to Lyctorhood to put an end to Cytherea the First's rampage. He's left heartbroken, grieving, and terribly, terribly lonely.

Don't Care If You Think I'm Dumb (I Don't Care At All). Gideon/Ianthe, Gideon as Kiriona, Unwholesome Tower Princes Bonding ft. bad sex and retail therapy. Rated E.

The newly christened Kiriona Gaia is not having a good time on the Mithraeum. At least she has Ianthe there to make her worse.

Follow Your Dreams, Never Let Them Die. Gideon/Harrow, Pokemon trainers AU! Rated T.

On her Pokemon Journey, Gideon Nav approaches the mysterious Drearburh City Gym - but something feels oddly familiar.

Gaia's Natural Market. modern AU, retail hell, Harrow/Gideon, Harrow/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe. Rated T

RING-A-DING-DING, the Holiday's are here! And nothing says "Give!" like the bounty of the Mother Herself, so come on by to GAIA's Natural Market! Treat your family to a home-cooked meal with only the PUREST of ingredients - all Produce Organic, all Products non-GMO, and all Smiles Authentic and free of Toxins!

Good Girl. Coronabeth/Ianthe, puppyplay, muzzles, rated E.

Coronabeth is Ianthe's big dicked bimbo puppy. Ianthe's into it.

Goodnight, New Rho. Camilla & Nona. Domestic Fluff, Missing Scene. Rated G.

Nona gets a bedtime story. Camilla reminisces about growing up with an older sister. They both sleep well, despite a notable lack of dogs.

In the Empire of the Deeps. Gideon/Nona/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe, Pirate AU, monsterfucking-adjacent, Nona is an eldritch sea creature. Rated E.

A chance encounter on the beach. Ianthe is manipulative, Kiriona is sad, and Nona is not as innocent as she seems. Sometimes, you might yearn for one person and meet another one. Sometimes, you have to take what you can get.

just like normal. Ianthe/Coronabeth, Cytherea is also there. Penis in vagina sex, Exhibitionism, Squirting. Rated E.

Ianthe gives herself a cock, and Corona is increasingly bewildered that she hasn’t been allowed to sit on it yet.

language of its own. Camilla/Palamedes. Worldbuilding, idiots to lovers, pre-canon. Rated T.

Camilla Hect has to do an erotic poetry final.

Masochism Tango. Porn with feelings, knifeplay, vivisection, lyctor-typical everything. Rated E.

Two occasions in which Pyrrha Dve had the pleasure of being under Cytherea's knife, and Mercymorn had the pleasure of Pyrrha Dve.

METHODS OF SUBDUCTION. Judith/Cornabeth, Judith & Varun. Planetary science rizz. Rated M.

Varun the Eater teaches Judith Deuteros how to flirt.

midnight mass. Mercymorn/Cristabel, pre-canon, Character Study. Rated T.

A lifetime before the resurrection and two decades before the apocalypse, a novice nun and a third-year medical student discuss goodness, passion, and salvation at midnight on Christmas morning.

motherhood. Mercymorn uses flesh magic on Wake. Hate sex ensues. Body horror, motherhood as violence, canon compliant. Rated E.

“I will kill you,” you say, with all the placid fervor of a religious convert. When you’re on the edge of real violence, you lose that tense little furrow in your brow—it’s beautiful, really. “Please give me a reason.”

My Love Overflows. Corona/Ianthe, Strap-on, Dirty talk, Impact Play, Hair Pulling, Bladder control. Rated E.

The one in which Corona pisses all over herself at Ianthe's whims.

name and rank. Judith/Coronabeth, Judith & Varun. Judith's failwoman swag! Rated T.

As Judith lies dying, she has nothing but time. Varun the Eater uses it to teach her how to flirt with the Princess. Don’t worry. Varun has got this!

New Rule. Mercymorn/Pyrrha, Ranch AU, stablehand Pyrrha, boss/employee relationship. Rated E.

Never hire stablehands who are too handsome and capable for their own good.

no shade in the shadow of the cross. Cytherea/Mercymorn, angst, fisting, two pillow princesses NOT making it work! Rated E.

Cytherea and Mercymorn have an ill-timed tryst.

per my last email. Camilla/Palamedes. Academia, banter. On peer review and multitasking. Rated M.

“Warden,” she said patiently, “you want me so badly it’s making you stupid."

RISKING OUR LIVES FOR UNIVERSITY HOLE???? 🤯😳 University AU, Team 69. The hole is a basement to be clear! Rated T.

The difficult part of visiting the local haunted house for a feature in the university magazine is not actually the visiting; it’s the writing about it afterwards.

So Messed Up. Ianthe/Coronabeth. Puppy play, collars & leashes, tail plug. Rated E.

Ianthe using her flesh magic to give Corona a big cock for petplay because she loves the idea of her sister being a big dicked bimbo puppy girl who just wants to rut into her.

The Great Gamete Gambit. Camilla & Palamedes, Pre-canon, worldbuilding, sixth house reproductive practices. Rated G.

Palamedes and Camilla have an important package to send, but there's been a heist in the gamete repository! Can the 15-year-old Master Warden and his cavalier crack the case?

The Sextus Scandal. Camilla/Palamedes, Epistolary, Pre-Canon Divergence. Rated E.

Transcripts and documents relating to the disciplinary hearing and subsequent resignation of Master Warden Palamedes Sextus.

Ways to Be Perfect. Babs/Colum Asht, GtN era, Rated M.

When Naberius first glanced across the supper table at Colum Asht, he didn’t immediately get the impression that he was liked.

The end!

Thank you for making it this far. If you enjoyed any of these works, or anything else in the collection, please drop a comment to make our creators feel appreciated <3

[post creators reveal exchange wrap post]

[n1ghtwr1ter]

A Knight’s Tale Griddlehark AU where Gideon is a commoner squire whose knight, Aiglamene, has been rendered unable to compete (leg incident) and decides in a moment of desperation to take her place in the lists. After meeting with unexpected success, she and her compatriots (Isaac and Jeannemarie as her fellow squires; Palamedes as their herald) begin to make their way through the tournament circuit, hoping to escape desperate poverty, find glory and riches, and change their fates.

Along the way they meet Harrowhark, Lady of the Ninth, unwillingly attending the jousts at the behest of her parents in hopes of finding someone who will rescue her dying House (by marriage if her parents have their way; by funding Harrow’s experiments if she has hers). She gets into an argument with an idiot of a red-haired knight who follows her into a church, of all places, just so they can keep fighting. Despite sending her packing with her sharp-edged tongue, Harrow can’t seem to forget Sir Griddle (which is all she managed to choke out for a name before she got unceremoniously thrown out of the building).

While being courted at the lists by Princess Ianthe of the Third (whom she finds personally repellant, but her fortune is exactly what is needed to restore the Ninth), Harrow is brought face to face with Sir Griddle yet again. This time, it’s a three-way verbal sparring match, and Harrow is left unable to decide which one she hates most. But as the tournament progresses, she is forced grudgingly to admit that Sir Griddle is “something else with that lance.” (Let alone the sword, which our Gideon wins handily, but chooses (like a true idiot) to focus on the joust, which decides the winner of the tournament.)

She is narrowly defeated by Count Ianthe, whose technique is far better than her own (having had years of training to Gideon’s, what, three months?). Griddle is about to slink off in fury but then Harrow’s ancient seneschal shows up, demanding to know the color of Griddle’s tunic for the dance that evening (Harrow having decided that the one person she despises more than Griddle is Ianthe, and the best way to annoy her will be to show up dressed in matching courtly wear).

Gideon, annoyed that Harrow is putting her on the spot, decides to attend despite not knowing how to dance. As luck would have it, Palamedes has met up with his cousin, who’s been working as a blacksmith; Cam shows them the basics, then goes off with Pal in a huddle to design next-gen armor that will fit Gideon much better than Aiglamene’s cast-offs. Harrow and Gideon share a surprisingly sexy dance, pissing Ianthe off to no end and leaving each other in a furious state of “oh no, she’s hot.”

Due to Gideon’s determination, Cam’s genius at smithing (and as Gideon’s new training partner, who regularly kicks her ass), and Palamedes’s over-the-top heraldic intros, Gideon begins to make a name for herself, winning tournaments all over the country. She even decides to joust against a mystery knight, even after discovering that she’s the Crown Princess of the Third in disguise, winning herself Coronabeth’s respect.

Just as she’s about to face Ianthe in the finals, the Princess of Ida is called back to her homeland to fight in their war. Discontented with her default victory, Gideon has a nasty fight with Harrow, who tells her to fuck off. Gideon decides to return to her own home country in search of a championship there, and also to find the annoyingly hot noblewoman who won’t stop needling her (and haunting her increasingly sweaty dreams).

Etc. etc.

Additional details include:

Gideon can’t stop laughing at her own lance-related dick jokes.

When Ianthe thinks she’s got Gideon disqualified from the championships by exposing her for being a commoner, Harrow’s been cooking up some genealogical research and it turns out that Gideon is…actually the child of King John of Gaius, and heir to the throne! So suck my royal dick, Tridentarius.

Harrow’s research concerns, among many other things, the use of bone meal as crop fertilizer/pest repellent to lift the famine that has decimated the Ninth House. Because the Ninth House has more corpses than any other sort of natural resource, she’s got a lot of material to work with.

Ianthe’s herald is Babs.

Aiglamene is back home nursing her lack of leg, but she is fully aware of the nonsense her squires are getting up to (despite their utterly ham-fisted attempts to keep it from her). She figures that holding her tongue won’t hurt, but Harrow will send a very resentful Crux to fetch her to the capitol so she can watch Gideon win the championship.

In the original Knight’s Tale, Jocelyn (female love interest) has a very lovely and smart handmaiden to advise her and act as a go-between.

Harrow’s handmaiden is Crux.

[maculategiraffe]

ok now I'm on chapter 11 of gideon the ninth and here's what I am appreciating right now:

the way the very first sentence of the book tells us so much:

IN THE MYRIADIC YEAR OF OUR LORD—the ten thousandth year of the King Undying, the kindly Prince of Death!—Gideon Nav packed her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and she escaped from the House of the Ninth.

and specifically the "dirty magazines" bit. because that tells us SO MUCH.

-just the very phrase "dirty magazines" hints at a world, and artifacts of a world, that doesn't jibe with anything else we learn until gideon and harrow arrive on the first. the very existence of porn mags implies a civilization so far beyond the ninth and its scarcity and darkness and hyperreligiosity and engineered archaism

-it tells us gideon treasures these artifacts as much as her shoes and her sword, which are both about survival. that her sexuality and the possibility of a life beyond the ninth are both core to her identity and her will to live.

-it strongly implies that gideon is a lesbian, which is hugely significant to her eventual interactions with dulcinea and coronabeth, not to even mention everything going on with her and harrowhark. my god I've never seen as textbook a shy flustered butch lesbian jock as gideon being expertly flirted upon by dulcinea and coronabeth in rapid succession. somebody come save her

-(nobody is going to come save her. are they 💀)

-just the dry wit of it. this book is so goddamn funny

-💀💀💀

[messinthemaking]

Hi my name is Ianthe Naberius Tridentarius eighth hand to serve the king undying and I have long pale blonde hair and purple eyes that are sometimes grayish blue and a lot of people tell me I look like Coronabeth Tridentarius (a/n: if you don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) and I am because we're both major fucking hotties. I'm a necromancer and my arm is made of gold bones. I'm also a lyctor and I live on the mytheranium in space. I'm a freak (in case you couldn't tell) and I love Valancy the third's wardrobe and I get all my clothes from there. Like today I was wearing a bewildering sort of garment with violet chiffon. I was walking around the mytheranium. Harrowhark stared at me. I put my middle finger up at her

[lockedtombtheories]

Second question, kinda related to the first (in terms of "what's with everyone betraying god?") is: What did Blood of Eden say to so easily cut through years of propaganda and convince Pyrrha, Cam, SexPal, and Coronabeth to join them?

Cam and Pal - they state it pretty clearly in NtN. "We left for a lyctor" (ch. 23). It definitely wasn't easy, for them, but Cam says "if the Sixth House saw fit to discuss something with insurgents, even in its infancy, then she wanted to know what". (also, "well, the Warden would want to find out" - both AYU.) Plus, the Sixth is “the Emperor’s Reason". Unlike all? most? other houses, they don't have a noble line. It's not exactly a democracy, but a merit system - to the fittest - with the Oversight Body to vote on all important decisions. 

So why wouldn't they look at God, say "your math is off" and go looking for someone who does pass their criteria? In their case they picked Cassiopeia and the devil they don't know. 

Coronabeth - I think she’s a bit of that, a dash of rejection, and possibly a sprinkle of scheming. I'll be honest, I'm never sure where we're standing with these twins! But originally, she was convinced by BoE through the maths of it all. 

“I asked her why she listened to these people, why she was throwing off her contentment along with her faith. The princess told me that she had felt for a long time that the Cohort movements didn’t make sense to her. She said what would be most economically productive was intermingling with these people, allowing immigration and absorption into the Nine Houses; that shepherd planets got more costly the further the Houses extended themselves, and that instead of creating long-lasting industry we were doing little more than slash-and-burn trading. Scattershot, she said. Notwithstanding the moral issue." (AYU) 

We don't know how much of her original plans with Ianthe, whatever those are, but it does sound like Coronabeth moved on from them - “we can do good work, Ianthe. I know people who need us” (NtN, ch. 23). Nevertheless, I suspect that Coronabeth was never going to be satisfied in a subordinate position. She's a princess, a king - she might have become the next Wake, given enough time. 

But yeah, part of her conversion was definitely also the lure of recognition. She was rejected by her sister, while BoE recognizes her for the exact talents she tried to dedicate to Ianthe. (Allow me to also point you towards this very short post of mine about Coronabeth, Tennyson's Princess, and the #gender of it all.)p

Pyrrha - What did they say to her?  Absolutely nothing. They didn't have to. She’s the one who convinced BoE not to kill her, and all she really seems to want is to retire and take care of Nona. Don't get me wrong, Pyrrha's done her own share of war crimes, but I do think that she never worshipped John the way the Lyctors did.  Her loyalties were always more personal, and they belonged to G1deon more than to John. And, well -  "Gideon’s dead, and I don’t give a fuck either. Not if I can save our skins.” (NtN, ch. 1)

[best-nun-tournament]

Round 2, Match 6

Ianthe and Coronabeth Tridentarius (The Locked Tomb) vs Queen Elizabeth and Queen Mary (English history)

Propaganda under break.

Ianthe and Coronabeth Tridentarius

TW Incest

Just the most messed up twin lesbians you ever laid eyes on. *SPOILERS* Ianthe brutally cannibalises and absorbs her companion and Coronabeth is heartbroken because Why Didn’t She Eat *Her* Instead?? Also they definitely fucked.

Poll Runner's Note: They are incredibly messed up. They've never spent any time apart until the end of book 1, when they're in their 20s. Deeply codependent. In the first draft they were called apparently called "Cainabeth and Abella", which the author rejected because that would imply one was the good twin, instead of just a less bad twin.

Queen Elizabeth and Queen Mary

Mary was Henry's only child until Henry divorced her mother, converted to a new religion, and had Elizabeth. needless to say they weren't close

Mary eventually got the throne and forced Lizzie to conform to Catholicism and when a rebellion against Mary failed, tried to imprison and possibly execute Lizzie to secure her throne more.

This doesn't even touch on Edward, cuz he was a child king and not a long reigning one

[glitchednotghosts]

Spotify playlist for Crown him with many crowns and worst Twin!! Coronabeth Tridentarius!!

[winepresswrath]

Ianthe and Coronabeth are just asking "If one of us is the evil vizier and one of us is the heroic knight errant then who is the princess in the tower we're devotedly serving or perhaps creeping menacingly on? Not you, Jod." Then Ianthe tries to put Coronabeth back in her princess box so she can become the tragic king being manipulated and controlled from the shadows while Coronabeth fumes because Ianthe didn't let her die heroically completing fair lady's quest.

[schizononagesimus]

FINALLY here is that drag fic ive been teasing, published two chapters at once because ao3 wouldn't let me publish the world's longest one shot -___- go nuts kiddos

rating: explicit | warnings: none | pairings: Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus (Griddlehark) | themes: Modern AU, Porn With Plot But JK The Plot Is Also Porn, Transmasc Gideon Nav & Top!Harrowhark Nonagesimus, absolutely peak kinky shit in this one we're talking shibari and wax play we're talking sex tapes and voyeurism we're talking the occasional armpits and feet!, if i dont make my blorbos do drugs I WILL

total word count: 36.9k

summary:

...in the center of the ring just like a circus Gideon Nav is a drag king. Coronabeth is his drag mother. Ianthe drags Harrow to a show, and she melts beneath the gaze of Cavalier Calliope. Or: they should’ve been at the club. "On the walk home, it was Harrow’s turn to ask questions. “So, my other deep question.” “Hit me.” Harrowhark said instinctually, “Don’t try me.” Gideon gulped. “I’m only kidding, don’t fret,” Harrow said, extremely horny and absolutely not kidding. “Anyway, where does your drag name come from?” Harrow realised Gideon was taking a detour into the park, and allowed him to walk her that way, enjoying their time as night settled into the sky. Gideon giggled. “Ever heard of a webcomic called Homestuck?”"

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

coronabeth tridentarius is like. she's risen through the ranks of a terrorist organization that should want her dead. she cannot deliver a comeback to save her life. she was born to be a cavalier. she cannot keep an adept. everyone believed that she was a necromancer. she was so bad at pretending to be a necromancer. she's in love with judith. she's in love with anyone who doesn't want her. she's flirting with you. no she's not. nobody really knows her except her sister. her sister doesn't know her either. she's the nicest person you've ever met. she didn't give a flying fuck about babs. she's incredibly easy to emotionally manipulate. she's a revolutionary. she betrayed the revolution to reunite with her sister. she's probably going to kill her sister. she looks like the safer of the two. the author can't decide who's worse. she used to casually threaten suicide to get her way. she's high femme. she's a king. she's a knight. she's cain. she's dumb as hell. you are going to do exactly what she wants and you're not going to notice. she expects her every command of jump to be followed by a rave. she's boobs and hair and talk and a hell of a swordhand.

[liesmyth]

Finished ntn today and then watched return of the king and had the deranged thought that if John & Alecto are Sauron & the ring (…..somewhat faulty metaphor, but go with me…..), then the tridentarii are the two sides of gollum’s personality

I can't even say "I love this but" because I love it actually. It makes so much sense. Ianthe WOULD call Coronabeth "my precious" :3

[e-dash-lace]

My Very Own Locked Tomb Playlist

A bunch of songs that I listened to while I was doing a Summer 2024 re-read of The Locked Tomb (mostly Harrow and Nona) in no particular order. I took notes because this fandom makes you crazy and Spotify is so stupid that instead of having a notes feature, it has an algorithm that makes you a new playlist four times a day that's called something like "gut-wrenching wailing girl dinner slay brat summer afternoon." Anyway, notes under the cut (spoilers for the entire series sorry)

Psychic Wound - King Woman

The song that Ianthe puts on the radio when she needs to focus to give Harrow her lobotomy. (In all honesty though I think that most songs off of the I Saw the TV Glow playlist go kind of crazy over Harrow the Ninth. Something something horror of being a queer teenager.)

Intergalactic - The Beastie Boys

When Gideon the Ninth the animated feature length film opens, the opening credits play to this song. This song also plays during Camila's fight with Ianthe Naberius on New Rho

Go Away Little Girl - Percy Faith & His Orchestra

This song really screams Jod to me. It plays during John 8:1. Like really close your eyes and imagine it. Like there's no sound it's just like a jumbled up bunch of slow motion scenes.

My Smile is Extinct - Kane Strang

Honestly I just needed to put this song on the playlist because it's the kind of depression song that's like just goofy enough to make you laugh even when you're sad. RIP Harrow Nonagesimus. She would have loved My Smile is Extinct by Kane Strang.

Army of Me - Bjork

Another sword fight song. This song plays during Gideon and Harrow's first fight on the Ninth House. I think that my brainworms just also really wanted to bring some of that girls fighting in steampunk muted colors vibe from Sucker Punch into this playlist.

Growing Pains - Ethel Cain

The queen brainworm living in my mind demands that all playlists I make have 1 Ethel Cain song. I can't really tell you how this fits, but when I tried to remove it, I thought "no. she stays" This song is Harrow the Ninth coded but maybe like Harrow Coffee Shop AU

Jesus Is the One (I Got Depression) - Zack Fox

First House National Anthem I fear. If I had money, I would pay it to comission a Harrow the Ninth animatic to this song.

Sunday - The Cranberries

Not really sure why this is on the playlist. I think it might have been an accident, but also it just sounds kind of appropriate so it stays :)

August Underground - Ethel Cain

Spotify gave me a really really good daylist ONCE that was just like atmospheric music (mostly from videogames). It was so stellar that I saved it! I listened to that playlist while I was reading like the last 25% of Nona. This song plays throughout all of NtN Chapter 28 or at the very least an extended scenes of Sex Pal and Camilla turning into Paul.

Ghosts in the Static - Ben Babitt

Atmospheric music to listen to while Nona drives through the River. A lot of the songs on the KRZ soundtrack fit that vibe. If you want music to drive on the River to, you should listen to the Kentucky Route Zero soundtrack.

Dumbest Girl Alive - 100 Gecs

I think that Gideon Nav would be a really big 100 gecs fan

Thick Skull (Re: Julien Baker) - Paramore & Julien Baker

I think that Jod would be a really big fan of Paramore. I think this song is about Jod, but it's the song that plays during the flashback scene when Gideon kicks Wake out of the airlock and she falls into the Ninth House

Bad Lil Vibe - Coco & Clair Clair

HEAR ME OUT. In my mind, Jod has gifted Ianthe a cassette player and for some reason, the only cassette that's in it is like some collectible 10th anniversary cassette tape of the album Sexy by Coco & Clair Clair. (that doesn't exist yet but it will). I feel like Coco and Clair Clair are good music for the Coronabeth and Ianthe dynamic duo, but I think that this song is for Ianthe. I think it has that evil hot mess (not like Sharpay Evans evil hot mess, more like Shego with smeared lipstick and a broken heart at the club) vibe that the Saint of Awe brings to the table.

4AEM - Grimes

Grimes TO ME ok IMO strikes me as someone who in 2015 would have been fancast as ianthe because she's blond, skinny, and like swinging around a long sword in her music videos like someone who just kind of thinks that swords are cool conceptually and will go well with the special effects but couldn't actually use one to defend themselves if it came down to it and that's really ianthe tridentarius-core TO ME. I imagine that deep down Ianthe hoped that becoming a lyctor meant she would get to be like an international pop star but more. Not to digress but this song is an Ianthe Tridentarius fight song.

Combat Baby - Metric

Actually lol okay hear me out. So actually Ianthe was also gifted a cd player by jod and this is the song that she cries to (ALONE) when she thinks about Harrow. I think Ianthe wishes she had a y2k style but she was just born in the wrong decade sorry

Pluto - Bjork

This is the song that is playing after Harrow wakes up and Gideon is inside her brain helping her fight Cytherea. I think snippets or like altered instrumental versions of this song also play in each trial that Harrow and Gideon work through. Like some version of this song is definitely playing the first time Harrow siphons Gideon to get those keys

Femininomenon - Chapell Roan

First of all, what is any playlist made in 2024 without a Chapell Roan song on it. Second, when I first wrote this note I imagined this as the song that plays immediately after mercy kills Jod and then like there's a full 3 minute music video where like Mercy is on lead vocals, she's like arguing with Augustine a bit then they're like dancing and then the song really abruptly cuts off right before the end when Jod sucks himself back together. Alternatively, this song plays every single time Nona sees a woman.

Dream Girl Evil - Florence and the Machine

Alectopause Hive International Anthem In the parallel universe where Nona the Ninth was released as a webcomic or like an AO3 fic, Taz Muir has linked this song in the Notes and there are 1000 animatics of the Nona epilogue with this song.

Springbreakers - Charli XCX

Alectopause hive international anthem 2 electric boogaloo (Remember how I said "gut-wrench9ing wailing girl dinner slay brat summer afternoon"? I meant that) I would also accept this song as the Nona epilogue animatic song

Bit of A Monster - Vylet Pony

I can't explain this one. I don't know why it's here it just has to be. If you made it this far, leave ur theories in the tags idk.

Mysteries of the Cleft - death's dynamic shroud

I think like if you asked me to I could make a whole playlist of songs about being in the River, so this is either like a planetkiller harrow song or like the song that plays when Jod takes Ianthe and Harrow through the River the first time.

Kizaki Lake - Satoko Shibata

One thing about me, if there's an opportunity to put a Japanese song on the playlist, a Japanese song is going on the playlist and right now the other queen brainworm in my mind is the brainworm that's been addicted to this album since it was released in February and I think everyone should listen to it. The instrumental for this song plays throughout the entirety of Day One in Nona and IF I WAS IN CHARGE Satoko Shibata would be tapped to do the score for the film because she's just that good. Go listen to Your Favorite Things!

[sedlex]

Meet Dominicus, 2024 Olympics' weirdest delegation... by far

- Paris, August 1 2024 -

If there is a word that is crossing the overused line this year, it is "weird".

But this humble reporter can not honestly find a term that fits the Country - sorry: Archipelago of Dominicus better.

Anyone into biotech knows this Pacific island cluster as The Place at the forefront of research, whose scientists regularly blow their peers' minds at conferences.

People more into anthropology might find interesting the story of how a group of British intellectuals who considered themselves "industrial refugees" relocated to the most remote place they could find and seamlessly integrated with the local population. Although, it's worth noting that official history and actual events from the late 1700s often diverge.

Finally, if you're into bizarre governing bodies, you probably know that Dominicus is technically a kingdom. Surprisingly, their King is the same guy who led the aforementioned expedition - meaning he should be over 300 years old, so it's likely an honorary title. Meanwhile, the actual government is run by the local nobility.

Making sense of how said nobility works deserves its own article: just so you know, you can't throw a stone to the Dominicus delegation in Paris without hitting a Prince or a Baron, a Duchess or a Seneschal.

But you definitely don't want to throw any stones in their direction: half of them are part of biotechnology research teams whose brains are too valuable, and the other half are army officers that could easily kill you, even if they look like teenagers.

Speaking of teenagers, everyone remembers Dominicus' debut at the Opening Ceremony: two of their gymnasts dared each other to do acrobatics on the parade boat, ending up doing handstands on deck while the whole world watched.

Just to promptly fall into the Seine, followed by a bunch of teammates who jumped in to save them, to be later recovered by the French Marines on duty.

The cameras alternating between the sputtering athletes and the twin Princesses, also heads of delegation, seated with the other authorities, gifted the internet with meme material for years.

This might be due to Princess Coronabeth of Ida being unanimously considered the most beautiful woman ever, or her sister Ianthe single-handedly increasing Paris' pollution with her unholy cigarettes.

Anyway, expect a whole gallery of Coronabeth's best outfits (spoiler: all her outfits are best) whenever the editor will be able to look away enough to upload them correctly.

But back to the surprise (and doubtfully sanitary) bath the Dominicus athletes took in the Seine.

They seemed drenched but alright until, the day before the fencing tournament in which their female epee team was expected to excel, tragedy struck: both Judith Deuteros and Marta Dyas, the team's most experienced athletes, were hospitalized with a nasty E. Coli infection.

Though Dyas was definitely out of the games, Princess Coronabeth herself was seen escorting Deuteros out of the hospital and back in the Village just a couple of hours later.

One fencer down should not be a major issue: time for the reserve to step up, problem solved, right?

Wrong. The reserve that Aiglamene, the 87-year-old coach of Dominicus, registered for the epee team was the infamous Gideon Nav.

If you haven't followed fencing in this Olympics and don't know her, let me enlighten you: not only does Gideon Nav do sabre, not epee (they're quite different in terms of techniques and preparation), but this boisterous redhead was kicked out of the singles tournament for - yes, I'm not making this up - punching one of her teammates, who was competing in a different weapon at the same Grand Palais.

That should've warranted a permanent ban from the team, right?

Again, wrong. Apparently the ever present Princesses told the offended party, foil bronze winner Naberius Tern, to "suck it up" and decided to let Nav stay.

Luckily for them, since Nav, 19, sporting a physique more akin to those you see on the rugby field, who seemingly came out of nowhere to make top two in the Asia & Oceania qualifiers tournament, saved the day.

Actually let's be honest: a good part of the day was saved by Camilla Hect, the third team member.

Hect, a data analyst by trade, was the stable force behind every victory: both consistent and reactive on the piste and unflappable outside, either in pointing Deuteros to the nearest bathroom and handing her electrolytes, or quietly talking to Nav, who looked on the brink of a panic attack for most of the day.

The Dominicus team somehow scrambled their way to the final, where they must've seemed like an easy opponent for France: contain Hect, attack a barely standing Deuteros, and let Nav's nerves get her a couple more red cards. Easy, right?

Once again, wrong.

To be honest, it started like that until, in the weirdest move yet, another confusing figure showed up to take one of the VIP seats of the Palais besides the ever present Princesses: the equivalent of the Pope came to cheer for the Dominicus team.

More like if the Pope were a teenage girl with too much makeup, clad in head-to-toe black robes (apparently part of her holy outfit), and by "cheering" you meant "silently staring, looking increasingly angrier at one fencer in particular."

Yes. That happened.

After a brief consult with someone who could be easily described as a bespectacled nerd but is apparently a master strategist, Aiglamene decided to switch players for the final round, moving Hect to second-to-last and leaving Nav as the finisher.

In what seemed like a self-inflicted disaster, Deuteros was steamrolled by Louise-Marie, and Hect did her best but was stalled by the tactically adept Vitalis. This left Nav needing to recover eleven points in three minutes against Mallo-Breton, who had won silver in the singles tournament just days before.

Impossible, right?

Nope: wrong.

Two seconds before pulling down her mask, Nav turned towards teenage goth Pope, who mouthed something while looking the perfect blend of angry and disgusted. Then Nav yelled, "We do bones, motherfuckers!" and proceeded to give a fencing masterclass for the next three minutes.

To the untrained eye, Nav seemed to be everywhere at once, parrying and thrusting effortlessly, moving just enough to avoid contact while setting up her next move. She attacked her opponent with such relentless athleticism that she drove her off the piste twice.

To the trained eye, it looked even more incredible: back in the 1950s, a few successful fencers switched between foil and epee, but switching between sabre and epee is unheard of. Doing it in a matter of days? Even more. And doing it successfully? Miracle level.

Luckily we have ample video footage for everybody who is not too attached to their jawbone to peruse.

In the end, Dominicus won 45-43 and the 8000+ people present were able to enjoy their national anthem while discretely googling why a Pacific Archipelago has a cow's head outline on its flag.

As for the heroine of the day, Nav jumped off the podium, into the stands, and handed the gold medal to the goth Pope - whose actual title is Reverend Daughter - calling her "penumbral lady" and getting a "shut up, you yellow-eyed moron" in return.

And then kissed her on the forehead, oblivious to the approximately 8000 phones pointed their way.

Needless to say, all the journalists trampled each other to be the first to score an interview with either Gideon Nav or the goth Pope, whose name I'm told is Harrowhark Nonagesimus, but were politely told by the press attache that it's not happening.

But Princess Ianthe will be holding a press conference at The Ritz soon to talk about her successful Olympics, so there's that to look forwad to, I guess.