#king schultz imagine

[mlmxreader]

Family | King Schultz x m!reader

@margheeeeritii asked: hello it's me again, i hope your'e having a nice day :)

i wnated to request an M!readerxKing Schultz whit the prompt "You didn't tell them we're married?" were Django comes to visit his old friend only to find out he's married now and settled down.

thank you very much!

summary: a visit from Django and Broomhilde gets Schultz both excited and anxious.

tws: swearing, smoking

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

Django and Broomhilde were in town for a week, which was fine and dandy by all accounts, and although you were excited to meet them, to meet your son-in-law and his wife, you could see that King was more than nervous about it; pottering around the house to make sure that everything looked perfect for them, tearing his hair out to make family dishes just the way his Mutter and his Vater used to.

He wanted it to be special, and although he was in agony doing it, you could tell that the only way be would calm down would be when Django and Broomhilde walked through the door.

You had heard many stories about Django, of course, of what he and King did during their time together as bounty hunters, and you couldn't deny that you were absolutely looking forward to meeting the man, the myth, the very legend himself; even if your husband was in agony over it, wanting everything to be perfect, wanting everything to be just right.

When you heard the sound of horses approaching, you looked out the window, and smiled when you saw two people; it couldn't be anyone else, as nobody ever came too close to the house for fear that the big guard dog, an old greyhound called Moritz, would tear them limb from limb. Even the postman would abandon letters and parcels at the very edge of the property.

But as the two riders came closer, Moritz didn't stir. Still sound asleep in his basket beside your desk. It wasn't until the riders had dismounted, left their horses with Fritz, and knocked on the door that the big dog dared to open an eye; he huffed, and raised his head, following after you when you went to answer.

"Uhm, pardon me," the man took his hat off, and looked at you with raised brows. "But you ain't seen King Schultz, have you?"

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen," you nodded. "You're Django, right?"

"Right," he smiled, clearing his throat and gesturing to the lady beside him. "This is Broomhilde."

"Hilde," she corrected, shaking your hand. "And you are?"

"(y/n)," you smiled at them, gesturing for them to come inside. "(y/n) Schultz... and that supposed guard dog is Moritz."

"Moritz," Broomhilde smiled, dropping to her knees so that she could pet the dog as he wagged his tail.

Django looked around, noticing the various little trinkets and keepsakes that littered the house, but when he noticed a particular photograph, he paused, and gestured for you to come over. "That's you and King, ain't it?"

"Yeah," you shrugged. "We took that when we were visiting Vienna together."

"Huh," Django nodded. "What was it like?"

"Oh, absolutely lovely," you grinned, fond rememberance in your eyes. "We went to this little saloon not far from where we were staying, and the whisky was dirt cheap... but the food was even better, if I'm honest."

Django hummed, not thinking very much of it. "Where's he now?"

"In the kitchen," you told him, patting his arm gently. "Make yourselves comfortable, I'll go get him."

You left Broomhilde and Django to look around, to get comfortable, heading to the kitchen; Schultz was smoking a cigarette as he leaned against the counter, a pot on the stove as he sighed.

"Everything alright, Hase?"

Schultz nodded, scratching his beard as he grumbled ever so softly. "This is taking far longer than it should, mein Mann."

You smiled, shaking your head as you came to stand beside him, your arm going around his waist. "Django and Hilde are here... Moritz didn't even fucking stir until I opened the door."

"Of course he didn't," Schultz laughed softly. "He's a guard dog, he won't protect us from family."

You dared to chuckle, but then you frowned a little as you thought about how Django had not even recognised your name. "King, by any chance, did you forget something?"

He fell silent, thinking about it for a moment. "Actually, I did."

"What did you forget?"

"I forgot to mention that I had a loving husband," he admitted, like he was ashamed at his own momentary forgetfulness. "Didn't I?"

"You didn't tell them we're married? What next, you'll forget our anniversary?" You joked softly, making him laugh as he tried not to grumble at you. "It's fine, I'm sure they'll figure it out - they're smart."

He was relieved, to say the least, that you weren't angry at him for forgetting to mention that he had settled down and had a stunning husband who he hoped to spend the rest of his days with; but he did still feel quite guilty about it.

"If it helps, we've got your favourite for dinner."

"Yeah?" You asked with a soft hum. "Is it your Vater's recipe, or mine?"

"It's a mix of both," he admitted. "Aber... it'll be gut, trust me."

"I dunno about trusting you," you teased. "You did forget to tell Django and Hilde that you have a husband."

"Es tut mir leid," Schultz sighed. "Vergib mir... bitte, mein geliebter?"

You kissed his cheek, gently padding his chest as you pulled away and nodded. "I'll forgive you, Doctor."

He was still nervous, especially when he brought out dinner as everyone sat at the table, and still felt guilty for forgetting his marital status, but once everyone was eating, Schultz finally started to relax; a mix of small talk and roaring laughter started to fill the house, scatterings of in depth intellectual conversation and retellings of the good old days. It felt more like home than it had ever done before.

A family, sitting at the dinner table and eating together - laughing, swapping stories, having real conversations together. It felt more like home with Django and Broomhilde there with you.

"So, come on," Broomhilde set her fork down, a mostly empty plate resting between her elbows on the table as she looked at you with slightly raised brows. "When did you and the Doctor marry?"

"Ooh, uh..." you rubbed the back of your neck as you tried to think about it. "Our ketubah was signed nearly... two, three years ago."

"Three years," Schultz started, "two months, one week and fourteen hours."

You stared at him for a second, a grin coming to your lips as you dared to reach for his hand. "You kept time?"

"I kept time," he agreed.

"That's really sweet," Django nodded. "Y'know... Hilde and I were talking while you was in the kitchen."

"Yeah?" You hummed.

"D'ya think, maybe, we could stay here, with you, while we're in town?" He asked.

There was a moment of silence, but the Schultz looked at you, and then he looked back at Django as a grin came to his lips. "Natürlich, mein Sohn!"

A family, under the same roof.

[eastsideofthemoon]

(I'm reposting this since I made several changes to the original post.)

If Star Trek Discovery were to be resurrected and given its much-deserved 6th and 7th seasons, here’s what I would like to see. Mind you, everything from season 5 and the Coda is staying.

Episode Ideas:

1. Horror. I want a horror episode. Context is for Kings incorporated some horror elements, which is one of the reasons it's one of my favorite episodes. But we haven't had horror since and I want it back. I'm thinking either a psychological horror or a cosmic horror.

2. An ER-style episode. I really want an episode centered around sickbay so that we can center Dr. Culber and Dr. Pollard.

3. An ode to Blaxploitation films. This will require a Black director (I'm thinking Cheo Hodari Coker. On the original post, someone mentioned having Olatunde direct it. He can. I just know Cheo was the showrunner for Luke Cage, which had Blaxploitation elements, so I figured he would do a really good job on incorporating it) and Brandon Schultz (one of Disco's writers) to take the lead. I've had this idea for a while. I want it to be a "What if DSC came out in the 70s". So 70s hairstyles, make-up, costumes, music, even redesigning the bridge to have a 70s look. Even adjust the theme music to a Funk or Cosmic Jazz version of itself. All the Black characters rocking afros. Imagine Capt Burnham in the captain's seat with an afro or Cleveland Booker on his John Shaft vibe. 

Stamets and Rayner rocking pork chops. Detmer in go-go boots. The story would still tie into the overall season plot, but more loosely. This is purely for fun. After all, the show is nicknamed DISCO.

5. Owo/Detmer episode where they are the A plot line. Maybe we can find out what happened on the Mirror-verse Enterprise they took back to HQ, and tie it into the S6 plot.

6. The Return of Mama Burnham. I love her relationship with Michael. I'd like to see their relationship deepen. I'm thinking maybe an episode where Michael calls on her mom for a science issue. Dr. Burnham is a scientist and inventor, so this would give her a chance to step away from the Qowat Milat and just be Dr. Gabrielle Burnham.  A mother/daughter science mission. Also, I'd like to establish where specifically they're from on earth. I've been assuming the United States, but it would be nice to establish which city/state.

7. A Book and Rayner episode. We're going to address the portion of the fandom that runs behind Rayner to undermine/villianize our Black leads, Michael and/or Book. So, in this episode, Book and Rayner end up on a mission/assignment where they have to work together, thus developing a mutual respect for each other. (They don't have to be friends, just a mutual respect, more so on Rayner's side). Book was raised by hunters, and Book stated Rayner fights like a hunter, so it's a Hunter’s Escapade! Saru will be overseeing the mission.

Character Arcs

Captain Burnham. Basically, just have her keep being the phenomenal Captain she is. I would like to see her promote someone, a solo promotion. We’ve seen the crew get promotions as a group, but I would like to see an individual get a promotion from her. Also, I want to see Captain Burnham encounter the Klingons. I understand why DSC has pretty much avoided the Klingons since going to the 32nd century, but it would make a great full-circle moment for Michael. And to raise the emotional stakes, have Mama Burnham aboard.

Tilly. Since she's at Starfleet Academy, the best we could hope for is cameos. Same with Jett Reno.

Adira. I'd like to see them stepping up more with taking the lead on assignments. I like their growth over S4/S5, and I'd like to see them become more confident and more assertive.

Culber. His spiritual awakening was my favorite character arc of season 5, and I'd love to see more of his and Dr. Pollard's hologram therapy idea.

Stamets. I felt like his arc got lost in S5. His trying to redefine his legacy really intrigued me, and I wish we got more of it. So, for S6, I'd really like to see this be fleshed out much more. We need to learn more about the pathway drive. The show started with the spore drive being groundbreaking and central to the USS Discovery. This needs to be a bigger plot point or something.

Saru. Doug Jones said in an interview that he would have returned for all 10 episodes of S6 had it happened. Therefore, I'd like to see more of Ambassador Saru and how his and T’rina’s marriage affects Ni'var politics.

Book. Since we know Michael and Book are together forever, I want to see Book return to couriering, and like Kasidy Yates, I want to see him become a freighter captain, which means the return of the Tallawah (Book’s ship)! Then, I want to see him helping with reinstating the Endangered Species Act as something like a contractor for Starfleet. This way, he still has his freedom and full autonomy and is still doing his conservationist work, but with the backing of the Federation now.

Rayner. If they're giving him Burnham's arc, on a fast track (of which I have opinions but that’s not for here), then by the end of S6 give him the choice of regaining his captaincy or joining Starfleet Academy. That opens the XO position again, and I really want to see Rhys become the official new XO for S7.

[if-you-are-tired-clap-your-hands]

I've just watched Django unchained and I scrolled on Tumblr to see what people's opinions on the movie was, and find some fanart. Now, you need to explain to me, right now, how a movie with a black character as the main character, and with the central subject being slavery, generates a fandom which has for center king Schultz??? The nice German character?

Yes he's a good character, but he's not the godamn center of the movie ?? Why is there so fucking many reader X Schultz fanfics and posts while Django the freaking Main Character has almost none ??? Dude ????

Like. No hate on those reader X Schultz. I read a lot of X readers and imagines in other fandoms. I get it, the character is kind and cool, no problems. But the movie doesn't center around him, it centers around the hell slavery is for black people. It centers around torture. It centers around vengeance.

And, alright, the movie is really, really harsh and difficult to see, because of the violence and the racism, and I get that the fandom might wish to see lighter subjects related to the movie. It's always like that, the fandom creates what the art lacks ! That's cool ! So how about fanfics around django freeman ? Around Brunhilde? Even around Stephen ? There are other characters as interesting and deep as Schultz. Just had to get it off my chest.

[theadventurerslog]

Quest For Glory 1: So You Want to Be a Hero | Part 1

The Adventurer's Log

Release Date: 1989

Quest for Glory caught my attention when I watched a retrospective for the first game. I bought the set and King's Quest IV, V and VI at the time, not knowing if I wanted to played 1-4 yet. I was fully intending to play Quest for Glory first, but then King's Quest took over instead and the whole series got played here. Well, I'm finally giving Quest for Glory the attention it was meant to have now. QFG is more of an adventure game RPG hybrid with a class to pick, skills to improve and fights to fight.

As always a couple notes:

There are a couple versions of the game: the original with a text parser and a remade VGA with point and click controls. I wanted to start with the original and get a natural progression through the series.

I have watched this game played, however there are some differences in things you can do and puzzle solutions based on your class, so this is going to be a mix of things I know and things I don't as they went with a different class than I'm doing. That'll be a nice mix I think.

Now...

It's time to be a hero! The town of Spielburg needs adventurers, no experience required. There are monsters to fight, brigands to defeat and a few other tasks to earn the title of Hero of Spielburg.

There are three classes to pick from: fighter, magic user and thief. I went with magic user.

Meet Cinder Win. I was going to give myself a bit of Throwing skill and forgot! Off to a good start, but at least some good Intelligence and Magic.

I have four reasons for this name:

I'm bad at coming with names and it can be a long struggle, so I thought maybe a reference would be fun. I tried anagrams of Rincewind from Discworld because I'm a dork, and Cinder Win stood out to me

One of the spells is Fire Dart which I imagine will get lots of use once I get it. Cinder (fire) will (hopefully) Win.

There are some times you need to type out your name and this will be easy to remember

It's silly for a game that is most certainly not totally serious

The game opens up with our first arrival to Spielburg.

I chatted with the Sheriff first who introduced himself as Sheriff Schultz Meistersson and his assistant Otto Von Goon, who would not chat with me but I hope he has fun with his yo-yo.

The sheriff informed me of the monsters and brigands around the area so a hero was certainly welcome. Otherwise he mostly just told me to go find out stuff for myself, so fine, I do like a good exploration.

This street also had the inn and a barbershop but the barbershop was closed. I avoided the inn for the moment and moved onward to market street.

It's a fruit stand run by a centaur! I bought some apples. I also discovered one of the barrels has potatoes and had a laugh because Rincewind, the root of Cinder Win here, wound up with a great desire for potatoes in the books for reasons. Anyway, naturally I had to buy some of the those too, though sadly they just display as vegetables in my inventory.

I also went into the Dry Goods store and got some empty flasks and another dagger. I thought... maybe I can cast zap on one of those daggers and throw it! You know, if I had put anything into my Throw skill. Which I did not. I have no idea how effective that would be but it sounded good in the moment!

Anyway, I sure did go shopping. You start out with food rations, 1 dagger, and leather armour.

Spoiler alert: mistakes were made. More on that later.

But outside I was having fun clicking around.

I moved on to another street and landed in the bar, where more clicking yielded more snark.

This only encourages me to click all the pointless places for all the responses.

I didn't end up doing much in the bar. I found the barber, anyway drunk as a skunk. I bought a beer--more money down the drain! If I had more money, I could have also bought Dragon's Breath to lose more money and also my life because it does kill you, though you are in complete fairness, warned not to drink the stuff. For the sake of death finding I'll have to try to remember trying it when I can actually afford it. There is more to this place at this point, but only for thieves, and Cinder Win is no thief, so I left.

Outside, I obviously examined more nothing and got a shameless plug for the second game.

I popped into the alley where there was a beggar.

The way I was spending my money I feel like I could ended up joining him... I did give him a silver though for some attempted information. I did learn you can get some temp work at the castle.

I popped by the inn but decided to deal with it more fully when it was nighttime.

then it was finally time for the magic shop, a very important place for me being a magic user and all. A place I should have hit up first.

I learned the shopkeeper's name was Zara. I was informed of a powerful hag, Baba Yaga who is best avoided. She cursed Baron von Spielburg. And I learned of what spells she had for sale. She also informed me that there is a powerful spell to be learned if you learn the secret of Erana's Peace. Erana was a powerful spellcaster long ago. She brought peace to the valley and there's still a spell that protects the town from violence or foul magic. And indeed if you try to attack anything you can't.

As for the spells I could purchase:

Flame Dart: 60 silver Fetch: 40 silver Open: 30 silver

The game starts you with 4 gold and 10 silver which is the equivalent of 50 silver. If I hadn't gone shopping previously, I could have afforded the open or fetch spell and I wouldn't have been far off the Flame Dart. Not being able to didn't come back to bite me at all, nosiree. In the meantime I carried on like no big deal.

Sidenote: I did bad note-keeping and someone told me about the wizard Erasmus which was quite possibly Zara but now I can't remember. He exists though and has a tower to go visit at some point!

For the final stop in town, the Adventurer's Guild. Time to see some quests!

There were five quests pinned to the board:

Reward of 50 gold for the safe return of Elsa von Spielburg - an dusty faded poster with a picture of a small child.

Wanted: Brigand Leader. Unknown appearance. Wears a cloak. Must provide proof of identity. Reward of 60 gold and the title Hero of the Realm. Main quest ho!

Another older poster with a picture of handsome arrogant young man. Reward of 50 gold for information leading to the return of Baronet Barnard von Spielburg.

Notice: Spell components need. Cash or trade for potions. Inquire at the Healer's.

Reward for return of lost ring. Inquire at the Healer's.

Goals!

There's also a registration book you can sign for a point!

I chatted with the guild master and got some more details on the Baron, Barnard and Elsa.

The baron was great until he pissed of Baba Yaga and now things are bad. He reckons she's the centre of the problem. The baron tried to make her leave and she cursed him.

Ten years ago Elsa was carried off by something that flew over the wall. The searched for her for several years until everyone gave up. Except the baron's jester, Yorick.

Barnard was a hero. He went one hunting five years and his horse returned with deep claw marks. No sign of the Baronet's body was found.

Clearly this place needs a hero, indeed!

This game has a day night cycle and I still had some daylight left, so it was time to leave town and dip my toes into exploring a bit before returning to sleep.

Close to the town gate was the healer's which is good because she had two notices up: ingredients and her missing ring. She also sells potions which would be great if I had much money.

Healing - HP Magic - MP Vigor - Stamina Undead Unguent - Undead protection

She will also pay for ingredients: cheetaur claws, troll beard, magic mushrooms and flowers from Erana's Peace.

She has two little pterosaurs, Pterry and Pteresa. Pterry likes to keep her company while Pteresa has a nest outside.

And she's missing her ring, but it must be around her place somewhere...

Now, because this isn't a blind play I already knew the ring was in Pteresa's nest, but I was lacking a way to get it. I'm a wimpy wizard with no climbing skill to climb the tree and my only spell was zap. Fetch would be great! I carried on; I'd get more money. It's fine.

I carried on.

When you're running around you may get attacked by monsters and then you have to fight or run. Or die. There have been some deaths to monsters.

(this is a later screenshot because I kept forgetting to get one while fighting. I was too busy panicking and fleeing. It's the Rincewind way. And dying.)

Anyhoo, despite my above drama, at this point I didn't actually run into much. I didn't go far from town since I was worried about night falling and I didn't want to get locked out of town. But the threats were there!

I briefly stopped by the castle and got grumped at by a guard in the castle grounds.

I did talk to the gatekeeper but he didn't have much to tell me that I hadn't already learned from town. There is work to be done at the stable but I didn't accept the job because I was watching the time.

I also met a centaur while wandering the region!

I met Hilde! I bought potatoes! And apples. But potatoes!

He had some interesting info: he got attacked by the brigands a few months ago and there were too many for him to completely fend off. Strangely their leader intervened, and forced them to stop, ordering them not to hurt people from the town. Then the leader gave him a healing potion and had him carried to the healer's. The leader's face was hidden by a helm, but there was a compassion there unlike brigands.

Hmmm.

Evening was falling and ended my little wander so I went back to the Inn. The owners are Katta from the land of Shapeir. There was now a man there who only shows up at night, Abdullah Doo.

Abdullah was going to be the first merchant making it into the valley this year which would have made him wealthy, but he was ambushed by brigands as they crossed the pass.

His trade goods were taken, but the leader spared his life. Now he's a beggar living off the generosity of his friends.

So the bandits have magic and weirdly merciful leader...

I had some dinner--you do have to eat something once a day. And then it was off to bed!

One day done and good night to Cinder Win.

I kind of love this little sleep screen. It's cute.

Next time Day 2 and some chaos as my mistakes come down to bite me!

[cannolli1]

Django Unchained (2012)

Django Unchained is one of those rare perfect movies. In my opinion it is director Quentin Tarantino's best work. Everything in the movie works together in harmony the soundtrack, writing, acting, cinematography and pacing are all expertly done. I should say that this was the first Tarantino film that I ever watched in about 2014 and it had a profound effect on my taste in films. It is entirely responsible for my love of Westerns and exposing me to the masterpieces of Sergio Leone. I will be getting into light spoilers for this film.

One of the standout parts of the film is the acting. Jamie Foxx is excellently cast as Django. The arc that he goes through is incredibly gratifying and the final scene never fails to leave me with a big smile on my face. Foxx's performance is fantastic, but my personal favorite part of the film has to be, Christoph Waltz's supporting character, King Schultz. In fact, I think his performance transcends this film and is one of my favorite film characters of all time. His mannerisms are what really draw me to his character. The subtly present in all of the performances is what makes the acting standout. In one of the most impactful scenes of the film. Brunhilde(Kerry Washington) is laying on a bed with her back toward the door and a figure approaches. She is mortally terrified, but the audience knows that this is unfounded, but her acting sells this perfect ironic moment.

The technical aspects of this film are excellent. The movement of the camera is spectacular and one of my favorite bits of camerawork, by Robert Richardson, are the snap zoom-ins and zoom-outs that are peppered throughout the film. The slight corniness of the shot just really speaks to me. Richardson also knows when to keep the camera still and during the moments of tension the camera moves very little and moves the viewer towards the edge of their seat. The editing in this film, by Fred Raskin, is just as good as the camera work. The film is tightly edited. The montages move the film along while during the moments of tension the editing slows down so the audience can really revel in the atmosphere of the scene.

The writing in this film is fantastic. There are so many things that brought up earlier in the film that pay off by the end. In my opinion, that is the sign of a great film, but also of a writer. Meaningful callbacks reward the viewer for paying attention and I feel that it doesn't happen enough in cinema. The film is set in the pre-Civil War South and it uses this setting to its fullest. The film is about a freed slave, Django, who sets out to rescue his wife from a Mississippi plantation. The film does not make light of slavery it shows just how disgusting and reprehensible it was. In a way the film shows how pathetic racism and slavery was by its use of violence. Much like Tarantino's other films there is a lot of blood and violence. The violence here is used in two ways. The first way is to show the horrors of slavery. In one scene there is a death match between two slaves that is incredible violent and incredibly uncomfortable. The second way is for a sort of cathartic release. The climax of the movie when Django is unchained and just kills all these slavers, the audience is awash with catharsis. Seeing blood burst out of these evil people is the perfect revenge.

Before I get into the conclusion I just want to gush about the soundtrack really quickly. The score is made up of recent pop songs, new compositions , and appropriated tracks from spaghetti westerns. All of these fit the film amazingly, but the appropriation of music from other westerns feels so natural. I cannot imagine this film without them. From the title track ripped straight from the original Django film, to the end credits theme (my personal favorite), all of these songs are hand picked to compliment the mood of each scene.

Upon re-watching this film it's been elevated to one of the few films that I would consider perfect. The journey that this film takes you on is unlike anything that I've encountered in another movie so far. I would absolutely recommend this film to any and everyone. I acknowledge that this film isn't for everyone. The violence and subject matter may be a bit much for some. To those that can tolerate geysers of blood and uncomfortable subject matters I say give it ago. If you haven't watched this film already then what are you doing with your time. WATCH IT NOW!!

Edit: I realized I forgot to talk about the music so I had to add a section for it.

[skippyv20]

I’m now convinced King Charles and all senior royals are in cahoots with the Susexxes to provide a long-running Spanish Tele-Novella, complete with two archbishops, Russian oligarchs and American billionaires plus sundry minor characters such as Doria and Samantha and Omid.

This soap has the very best in costumes and jewelry including the Koh-In-Noor diamond and Prince Andy’s priceless red velvet Order of the Garter costume.

We can imagine when the king is scheduled to appear he receives his part the evening before, delivered in a ermine lined dispatch box.

To what end?  Bread and Circuses come to mind.  Except in this instance it is all Circuses to detract from the lack of bread.

Who benefits? The usual suspects: Klaus Schultz, Bill Gates, the Rothschilds and the military-industrial complex.

It does all make one wonder…..🐼

[video320]

Draw All of Dragonball!!

After these there are about 7 More Dr. Slump ones...

140 - Suppaman AKA Sourman AKA Kenta Kuraaku - It's hard to imagine this being a long-term gag.

141 - King Nikochan, avoid the noid.

142 - Daigoro Kurigashira, to me, he kinda looks like Toriyama wanted to take a shot at designing a Charles Schultz character.

[nullset2]

Earthbound: an In-depth Critique and Review

Note: this review has been amended.

Many things have been already said about the Mother series, but with these series of essays, reviewing the series front to back, I attempt to humbly provide a different perspective on it. Earthbound has been discussed to hell and back (oops, "heck", I should say perhaps, if I am to convey my 90's North American Nintendo localization spirit –the games couldn’t have religious or adult, specially alcohol-related, references of any kind back then): the Mother fandom is one of the most hyper-focused and productive communities out there after all, its dedication to the franchise bordering on insanity with a healthy helping of cringe at worst.

I recall that Itoi once said about the Mother series: "I recommend playing the games in order because I think that's how they make the most sense... or at least I think they do to me, since I wrote them in that order. Maybe they reflect my different sensitivities over time, as I got older, and maybe it will resonate in that same manner with you too." I want to try to go against that: maybe there's something more to understand about the Mother series if we go backwards instead. Or maybe it's just poor foresight and whim on my end, I don't know.

We can start with a few little questions: why does a simple 1995 SNES RPG by famed Copywriter/Essayist Shigesato Itoi, "Earthbound", elicit so much attention? Why precisely this game? SNES RPGs are legion, what is it about this one that makes people enter a trance when they talk about it? Why are some people irremediably obsessed with it so much, that they get to marry and form families and multi-million dollar enterprises out of it? (Fangamer... I'm looking at you... thank you; side note: watch the "Earthbound, USA" documentary to understand what I'm talking about).

Have you ever felt as if an evil force controlled your life? As if the people around you weren't really human, and instead were some weird kind of organic automaton, a puppet which seemed to be guided by some perverse, perverted hivemind into behaving in progressively erratic, lunatic ways? Has that feeling become more pervasive lately?

Have you ever felt as if you had psychic powers? As if you shared a mystical connection to someone, as if both your minds were as one? As if you could manifest things in the real, physical world just out of sheer will? As if you were born in the wrong era, family, town or country? As if you had telepathy?

Do you like Charles Schultz’ Peanuts, The Beatles, and aliens? Well, Earthbound is just the thing for you.

Itoi is a "Copywriter" (this interesting job role in Japan, where a writer specializes in writing "Catch Copies", a sort of longer form slogan that is used in marketing for a product in Japan) who's rather famous in the Japanese mainstream, appearing in variety shows and publications everywhere. He has a passion for the Dragon Quest series of JRPGs. He recalls video games being his only companion through asthma attacks at night, because he had to pass them sitting up (this explains Ninten's proclivity to asthma attacks in the first game). He would then play long winded sessions of Dragon Quest to pass the time, which gave him a love for the genre. When he came to fame, he eventually got the role to work on the Mother series as the scenario writer from Nintendo's Yamauchi. Imagine that: it's as if, I don't know, Stephen King was given the chance to make an RPG by Bill Gates from Microsoft by mere coincidence, and they go like "oh yeah, that's pretty dope dude, yeah we’re bros, let's do this". Quite the ripple effect, right?

Attention is deserved to the fact that this game explicitly decides to try something new, so it produces a quirky, romantic marriage of what a Japanese person from the 90s thinks America is and a Dragon-Quest style RPG. Gone are the legendary heroes and the cloaks and swords and magic spells: instead of a shounen hero type, you have a simple everyday kid called "Ness" (arguably an anagram of "SNES" just as how Ninten is a truncation of "Nintendo") and his gang of misfit kids. Instead of swords and shields and armor, you have baseball bats, yo-yos and baseball caps. Instead of casting Magic spells with Mana, you cast PSI attacks with "Psychic Points'', one of which is named after your “most favorite thing”. Instead of drinking potions and elixirs you find in treasure chests, you eat hamburgers out of the trash and find presents in the game world. Instead of Orcs, Knights and Princesses, you fight New Age Retro Hippies and rescue the girl next door. You save the game by calling your dad and one of the worst status ailments in the game is "homesickness", which you cure through a carefully crafted interaction in the game where you call your Mom (who's always got a healthy serving of %FAVORITEFOOD% and a free place to stay in and recover your HP if you need the support).

Even back in its own day, Earthbound already looked dated, old timey Dragon Quest battle system and all, paling against the brave new worlds of Chrono Trigger and the like, and the fancy pre-rendered graphics, FX chip 3D graphics and Mode 7 Sprite Scaling shenanigans of the era. So I insist, why? Why does this game arise incite such all-absorbment in some people? Well, maybe it just was there at a special place and time in North American teens' lives. Coming in a big, flashy, special edition box by default, strategy guide and scratch-n-sniff stickers included, there was a genuine push from Nintendo to promote it. The Mother series is massively revered in Japan, so, perhaps, they were looking to catch lightning in a bottle a second time in America. Yet, due to many different factors, the game massively flopped and gained a cult following from ROM site pirates and IRC urchins in the Internet of yore, and got relegated to appear in "Top Ten JRPGs" and "Best Super Nintendo games" internet message board posts and geocities websites.

Enter Ness. A young kid living in 199X in the town of Onett in the fictitious country of Eagleland. One day, he's awakened in the middle of the night by a meteorite crash close to his house, and he decides to investigate it, not without tagging along with his trusty dog King and his friends Picky and Pokey Minch (Porky in the Japanese version, perhaps renamed not to infringe on copyright or to avoid conflation with "Waito Piggu"; his envious, slovenly, fat neighbor, son of the "that family" of Ness' neighborhood, with his disgruntled, unsophisticated parents Aloysus and Lardna). From the meteorite, a mystical fly who says "A bee I am... not..." named Buzz-Buzz emerges, and he delivers an ominous message from the future: "Kid, you're the chosen one, and three boys and a girl, a group of which you're a part, need to embark on an adventure to defeat Giygas (Giegue in the Japanese version), the all-destroyer". He warns you: Giygas is corrupting the people and animals in the world as part of his invasion; your tool against him will be a magical melody which you will find by visiting seven points in the world, your "your Sanctuaries" and which you can record with the "Sound Stone", the last artifact he gives to you. The power unleashed by this melody will be vital in the fight against Giygas.

So far we have the usual "an ancient evil awakens" and "chosen one" kind of story: get ready, say goodbye to Mom, and embark on adventure towards the first Sanctuary. Pokey, forever resentful of Ness' coolness, just won't have you become the Chosen One, though, so he embarks on an adventure of his own. After embarking, you meet your neighbor Liar X. Aggerate, who claims to have found some weird kind of artifact while digging, some kind of glowing statue that mysteriously looks like a Moloch effigy that draws people in, and is revealed throughout the game to have some strange kind of mystical power that corrupts whoever possesses it, making people obsessed with it. This artifact is called the Mani-Mani (Money-Money?) statue, and it will emerge at pivotal points in the storyline...

And then the fauna, flora and locals seem to have gotten out of control all over the world. These are the random encounters you'll face --you'll meet roaches, flying saucers, spiteful crows, drunks and ugly women with shopping bags, weirdos, wild dogs, snakes, sentient cars, walking mushrooms, dali's clocks, the characteristic Starmen (perhaps a David Bowie reference) aliens, and much other weirdness. Beat them until they become "tame": Earthbound's death toll is literally zero throughout the game, much like One Piece’s (or perhaps one, depending on how you interpret the final boss).

A little parenthesis about the battle system is that, even though it's as simplistic as a Dragon Quest, it brings a lot of weirdness to the table which I really enjoy, and which really contributes to the tone of the game. Let me state that I am not a fan of turn-based battles at all --but I love them if they have some sort of action element to them; even something as simple as timed hits or Mother 3's rhythm-based system makes all the difference to me. Every battle will play against a 60's-style trippy backdrop, known internally in the code as the "Visual Drug" visualizations (whatever that means, which makes me wonder what kind of weird stuff Shigesato Itoi is exactly into, over there in Japan...). The game also uses a very clever Rolling counter system, where HP and MP decrease on a fixed timer, simulating an analogue alarm-clock roller counter display, which gives you a few seconds of slack to cast recovery spells if you are mortally wounded to continue the fight, a mechanic which I find to be very cool.

The sanctuary expedition will then take you through many places in the world of Earthbound, and this is the game's biggest triumph. A quirky parody of America that tries to look like a Cartoon, the adventure is full of adult references, like how you visit Giant Step (Coltrane much?) in Onett, a mysterious footprint in the ground, or how you must fight the Diamond Dog in Magnet Hill. Go play slots with Pancho, Pincho and Thomas Jefferson in a Hispanic-looking desert where a song with "Grupero" rhythms plays. Fight the totally radical local ruffians, the Sharks! Their leader Franky will pummel you with the Frankystein mark II at the arcade, to the tune of a Johnny B. Goode style guitar riff. These and many more references abound.

You're then told that you should go to Twoson to meet Paula, a mystical girl whose family runs the Polaris preschool, who has been calling out to you in your dreams through psychic powers, because she's vital to defeating the evil power of Giygas. In Twoson, you learn from Paula's parents that she has been Kidnapped by the Happy Happy cult, a parody of the Ku Klux Klan, a group of blue supremacists that want to paint everything blue in the world. Here, you'll also find the second sanctuary, Lilliput steps.

In Twoson you also meet Orange Kid and Apple Kid. Orange Kid, a preppy genius kid who seems to be getting all the fame and prestige, charges you for inventions which are completely useless and break down after one use --compared to Apple kid, who seems to be a slob good for nothing geek that doesn't really know anything. Interestingly, in time, the events will turn to the favor of Apple Kid, who invents seemingly-useless inventions that actually turn out to be incredibly useful, such as the "Pencil Eraser", a machine which will erase every single pencil in the vicinity, including a coincidentally pencil-shaped statue blocking the passage.

You also meet the Runaway Five, a happy-go-lucky band of six bohemes, a reference to the Blues Brothers, who help Ness and the party overcome various trials, with the power of funk and soul. Also, beautiful singer Venus, the charm of the town. Earthbound has this cute thing where certain musical numbers are performed in-game through simple movements of sprites, again reminiscent of other operas in JRPGs, but there's a certain unique flavor in Earthbound's that's hard to describe.

Once you rescue Paula it's time to move on to the next sanctuary, on to the haunted town of Threed to fight zombies and pests, with the aid of the Runaway Five, whose funky, groovy bus scares the ghouls that were blocking your path prior. There, Ness and Paula are abducted by zombies, so they call for the help of your British boarding school friend Jeff and his queer-coded friend Tony, who embarks on adventure from the very Bri'ish town of Winters to come to their rescue, rides Nessie with the help of a bubblegum chewing monkey monkey to cross a lake to his father's (a fact which only will be revealed until later in the game), Dr. Andonuts', laboratory, next to the game's version of Stonehenge. Andonuts has created the Sky Runner, a flying machine which can take People across the ocean. Jeff is a genius boy, expert in engineering and rocketry, and his clever inventions are his main form of attack once he joins your party. Ready to fight a possessed circus tent?

You head to Saturn Valley, where you meet a weird species of creature called Mr. Saturn who inhabit the place, a strange, bipedal, armless species with superhuman genius that communicates in nonsensical phrases written in a weird font inspired by Shigesato Itoi's daughter's handwriting in the Japanese version; the Mr. Saturn are all named Mr. Saturn and look exactly alike, sporting a tiny ribbon and a huge nose with cat-like whiskers. Saturn Valley hosts the third sanctuary, the Milky Well, but first you must help them by combating master Belch, a horrid pile of puke who speaks in a sampling of a burp recorded by one of the developers of the game, who has kidnapped the Mr. Saturns. You access Master Barf's hideout by standing under a waterfall... literally standing, immovable, for three minutes.

Pretty meta, right? How about an Onsen dip now?

The first "coffee break" segment... I really love these, because this is where you begin to see that this game is actually really, really cool, and that it attempts to do things that other RPGs don't. At certain points in the game, you will be offered to sit down and relax, and the game will play a little cutscene with a beautiful animated background and song accompanied with some scrolling text will deliver a "the story so far" summary about the game, together with a few musings related to Ness' and the party's personal growth. It is implied that these sections are actually the voice of Itoi talking to you through the screen. Once you do this, you will access the Milky Well, the next sanctuary.

The game is very creative in its breaking of the fourth wall. From a dog named Ruffini in Onett who is possessed by "the spirit of the game's creator", to the game asking the actual IRL player for their name to be used throughout, to Ness' dad actually calling you by your name and asking you to "please take care of their child", the game's interactions display a ton of nuance and care, and massive amounts of content can go unseen by the player given the ridiculous edge cases to which they apply, in a way that I've only ever seen Undertale attempt to recreate to partial success.

Proceed onto the big city of Fourside, an impressive megalopolis dominated by Mr. Monotoli, who has now taken an up-and-coming Pokey under his wing as an apprentice. But Paula is kidnapped by Mysterious aliens at the mall, and the effort to recover her leads you to investigate different leads; enter Moonside: a psychedelic inverted version of Fourside where "Yes" means "No" and "No" means "Yes", and where people speak in incoherent slurrying of words, an illusion created by the Mani-Mani in the storage room of a Bar (localized as a "Cafe"). Once you defeat it in the illusion, you are informed that Monotoli has Paula and it's up to you to climb his tower to rescue her. A vicious fight against Monotoli's defenses is heroically saved here by the Runaway Five in the crux of battle, when everything seemed lost, to reveal he has possession of the Mani-Mani.

Then you will be able to fight many moles in a bubblegum monkey labyrinth, all of whom claim to be No. 3 in their ranks. You will also be notified that Apple Kid has met with Mr. Saturn, and is now developing a machine called the Phase Distorter, which will come in handy.

The game progressively unlocks PSI abilities through its story; a very interesting one is PSI Teleport, which unlocks around this point and you learn from a Monkey, allowing you to fast travel back to visited locations if you can survive a short sprint without collision. This allows you to travel to Winters to visit the Rainy Circle, the next sanctuary.

From here, once you're reunited with Doctor Andonuts, you find out that the location of the next sanctuary is in Summers: a relaxed, weird port town where people gather at Club Stoic to drink water, stare at rocks and discuss the "impending collapse of Capitalism" among other pretentious stuff. Don't miss the chance to take a picture with the Photo Man! A funny guy who drops from the skies, he will take your picture at random points in the game to the sound of "Fuzzy Pickles!". But first have some Brownies, ahem, I mean "Magic Cake", from a lady at club stoic to dream of Dalaam, a far eastern country which hosts the final party member, Poo, a magical prince who has been compelled by psychic energy to travel to your aid, who gains abilities through vicious training to achieve Mu (the place of nothingness) through a mysterious presence that takes away all his limbs and senses one by one. From this he achieves teleport, and travels to meet Ness and the party: his aid will be invaluable to point out the location of the next sanctuary from mysterious runes in an artifact in the Fourside museum, to be accessed only if you please somebody at the door with an autograph of Venus on a banana. You will find with this your next Sanctuary, Magnet Hill, and then travel to Dalaam to tie loose ends and visit Pink Cloud, your next sanctuary.

Your adventures will now take you through the Ocean to head to the town of Scaraba, which hosts another sanctuary: fight the Kraken of the Sea and its incredible background music. Solve mysterious riddles and travel to Tenda Village, a town inhabited by a race of tiny frog-like beings that will not talk to you due to extreme shyness unless you give them a copy of "Overcoming shyness", borrowed from the Onett library, so you find mysterious Lumine Hall, a room where your thoughts manifest as writing on the wall. Then finally, travel to the lost underworld in a hilarious change of presentation for the game where everything turns microscopic, so you can find the last sanctuary, Fire Spring.

Through pain, sweat, blood and tears you have finally collected all the 8 melodies in your Sound Stone, which puts Ness in a trance: he has visions of himself as a baby, being taken care of by his Mother, in a beautiful, monochrome scripted sequence, and then he has a trip, traveling solo to Magicant, naked in the Japanese version and in his Pajamas in the USA version of the game. Magicant is a product of the psyche of psychic children in the Mother series, a safe haven where you can discover weird things about yourself and unearth deep memories hidden in your subconscious. Use the help of the series recurring Fighting Men in magicant to power through your subconscious and discover an inner Mani-Mani deep inside your soul, which will put up a vicious fight. When you defeat it though, a massive level-up will occur for Ness, preparing you for the final battle.

Once you return to reality, you will be notified by Apple Kid that he, Dr. Andonuts and Mr. Saturn have prepared the Phase distorter for your usage to finally defeat the mysterious, all-encompassing evil force of Giygas. See, Giygas is an alien, known as Giegue in the first game; after the events of that game, he defects to space, regards all humans as evil and vicious, and turns into Giygas out of sheer insanity, which corrupts everything. He begins to abduct people away into his lab to use them as experiments.

But the problem is that Giygas is too strong to be defeated in the present. Apple Kid tells you that it is necessary to time travel to the past, so you can defeat Giygas for good, with one, ehrm, tiny reservation: organic matter cannot survive time travel to the past in the Phase distorter. So, for this, four robotic bodies are created by Apple Kid and his cohorts, to implant Ness' and the parties' souls into.

Now this is the part where I get schizo (you could argue that that's my default state but I'll leave that discussion for another time). The game takes a really dark turn here for some reason, and gets incredibly grotesque, and pits you against incredibly strong enemies for the final run: you are commanded to enter a cave that's fully made of organic matter, to find a weird organic entity created by pure evil, Giygas, which, shockingly, has been co-opted by none other than Pokey for his selfish gain. Pokey has decided to take the path of corruption at this point and you will fight him alongside Giygas, who, in battle, has a huge image of yourself on its putrid mass.

A lot of people theorize that this is an abortion allegory, that you’re aborting Giygas in the past so he was never born, which is plausible, given that you enter an organic cave to arrive at a womb-like structure that you find Giygas implanted in, and the fact that when the battle escalates and Giygas becomes aethereal, the background design in this battle seems to have been created through digital manipulation of a picture of a faetus in an ultrasound, but this has never been confirmed and is pure speculation, even if the allusion is very much there, not to mention how shocking this theme is for a 90s totally radicool game about little children prancing around.

The creature that Giygas has turned into, and that you must fight against at this point is so inexplicable, powerful and omnipresent that the party finds itself at a loss and succumbs to madness. Yet, in the final throes of pain, Paula, who has the in-game ability to Pray, does so out of pure desperation. People on planet Earth then, feeling that something is incredibly wrong, pray for the safety of Ness and the party; cutscenes to illustrate this are emotively displayed one by one, and then, suddenly, somebody who you would had never expected prays for the party:

Yourself.

Several tens of hours ago, the player was instructed to input their name just as a little funny thing by the spirit of the game creator, and most players will happily oblige. By this point, however, most players will surely have forgotten that they did so; to show that the game not only remembered it all along, but also used it to such impactful effect, produces a massive feeling of catharsis. The game shows that the player behind the screen also joined everyone in prayer, which gives Giygas the final blow.

Itoi writes that he took inspiration for the final battle in Earthbound from a traumatic childhood experience: you see, back in the day (even up to this day), some actual, real Movie theaters in Japan have a porn theater in the basement for some God-forsaken reason. The upper floors actually display normal, newly-released movies, but the basement will host a seedy projection room for smut where people go to hook up. Itoi recalls that, as a child, he walked into the basement of a movie theater and saw perversion on screen, which is reflected in some of the nonsensical moans of Giygas in the final battle. This scarred him forever, and thus, this is one of the many things which I so deeply adore about this game: it's a quirky, coming-of-age adventure of whimsy and joy, with psychic children going around a cute parody of America, yet, the author is not scared to turn it into an allegory for the loss of innocence, and to take it into a genuinely unsettling, morbid and perverted place by the end, in a manner that is incredibly off-brand, even for companies other than Nintendo, who usually keeps a very PG-13, and is ultra-conservative and family friendly to an extreme.

A defeated Pokey and Giygas then collapse. Pokey uses his evil powers to defect to a parallel Universe (no kidding, this is literally what he does, and which sets off the events of Mother 3), and Giygas becomes so mind-bendingly impossible to understand that he crashes the game (or, at least, the game simulates to crash, cleverly using the same CRT static fuzz effect that you see when you turn on the game for the very first time. This is a very good callback and is actually something incredibly avant-garde for the time: many players on console probably thought that their games were fried the first time they saw the final boss). This destroys the robot bodies that Ness and the party inhabited, but by sheer miracle, their souls return to their corporeal bodies and they come back to life.

Giygas is now defeated and peace is restored to the land.

Yet another thing that I incredibly love about this game, is that at this point the Game world will allow you to roam around freely to catch up with people. Everyone will now have different lines, expressing how things have now changed after the defeat of Giygas, and some people will say their goodbyes to you or give you their thanks; some others will have funny quips or jokes, or even provide more backstory about them. Enemies no longer attack you, and all music themes have been replaced with "Because I Love You", an exquisite piece of the soundtrack.

Attention should be given to the music, an aspect that admittedly I've been glossing over previously in these reviews. Composed by Nintendo all-time great and grandioso Hirokazu "Hip" Tanaka and Keiichi Suzuki, the music in Earthbound is one of a kind. Seriously --if you've never listened to the soundtrack actually running on-console from an original cart, you're missing out; no matter how good emulation ever gets, there is something special about the care and quality with which the tracks were crafted for the original Super Famicom. The SNES is great for sound, and introduced a sampling system: unlike the Famicom, where sounds have to be created with primitive sound waves computed by a primitive chip, the SPC chip in the Super Famicom allows for professional-quality samples to be imported into the game's ROM and used in arrangements, which produces almost CD-quality audio (the small memory size of an SNES ROM meant that the samples used in music had to be heavily compressed --the next revolution in game audio was to come with the SNES CD addon, later materialized in the Playstation genus). I would like to give a shout out to the Maternalbound project: a project which aims to "deluxe"-ify Earthbound by adding custom uncompressed samples and reversing the Nintendo of America 90s censorship, resulting in an even more compelling interpretation of the soundtrack.

The game's usage of the Leitmotif as an expressive element is stellar; spoiler alert, a lot of movies, games and productions out there use the leitmotif extensively. Once you notice it for the first time you will never stop noticing it everywhere: the leitmotif is a resource which uses small melodies to create psychological association in the story with a certain character, theme or feeling. These melodies are remixed creatively throughout the game and reused at critical times to create a sense of callback and continuity, with changing moods.

You know what else does Earthbound use heavily? Sampling. The eclectic musicians which produced Mother 2's soundtrack added yet another layer of quirkiness through intelligent usage of sampling: Dungeon Man’s theme is from the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band reprise. The intro song uses a Monty Python sample. Jackie's cafe uses another sample, etcetera...

The problem is that this puts the game in a complicated legal situation. See, as far as I know (with some caveats), sampling is perfectly legal and falls under fair use; but it turns out that Japan is actually pretty lax about copyright and they blatantly use copyrighted content everywhere without permission. I understand that you need to obtain authorization to sample in America before publishing your work --for a very long time it was believed that things like these, along others, represented legal hurdles which held Earthbound from a re-release, but fortunately this was proven wrong with 2014's re-release of Earthbound on the Wii U virtual console, which transpired to the Switch in time.

Itoi's close, personal relationship to then Nintendo developer Satoru Iwata is important. It is famously known that Mother 2 went into development hell because the team was unfamiliar with Super Famicom tech, producing an as-of-now unknown version of the game that was full of glitches, bugs and missing features close to the game's original intended release. It is famously known that Iwata's involvement with the Mother series, into which he was pulled in as an emergency, saved the project. "We either throw away all our work and start anew and be done in six months, or we keep what we currently have to be done in one year". His important contributions, "being very good at producing tools that other people could use to speed up their work, and dividing work equitatively among the team so things could be done in parallel", according to Itoi, were Iwata's best abilities.

"For children, adults, and even young ladies" was the Catch Copy for this game when it was originally released in Japan. Games are a medium which skews in popularity towards teenage boys, both in America and Japan. This is covered under the umbrella term "Hardcore Gaming", a term which I somewhat despise. Over time, attempts have been made to turn this Hardcore, Red Ocean market into a Blue Ocean; however, most of these feel disingenuous, half-hearted or politicized and plagued of empty Diversity gestures: sure, everyone's grandma played the heck out of Wii Sports that one Christmas, but that was it. What I mean by this is that games that put accessibility before all are usually more marketed as products or consumables rather than as pieces of art that want to draw people in so they graduate into bigger, better, more complex games. Your grandmother is never going to discuss Materia in FFVII or going to play Tears of the Kingdom to make cool machines, nor is your Mother going to stick around to learn how far games have come since Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo or to chug jug with you. However, and for some reason, Mother 2 --Earthbound-- successfully achieves this. I have an older sister who doesn't really like games, but I remember that she picked it up and loved it. She wasn't really proficient at English back then, nor she actually really cared about Japanese RPGs, but she went through it.

In a very recent interview, Shigesato Itoi said that Mother 2 "is a game that turns adults into children, and children into adults", and I honestly believe that. It's a game the likes of which will never materialize again in our world and in our iffy political and cultural climate. Most people have forgotten about it by now, but its soul carries on in a small, ultra-dedicated fanbase, which is still active to this very day, and will continue to be, and maybe, one day, we'll sit down together and have our Mom serve us Pizza while we play PSI Rockin. Let us pray.

[one-boring-person]

Could you pls write something short and fluffy with King Schultz? You come home from a rough day at work, so he takes care of and cuddles you 🥰

I hope you like this 😊💛

Ich Hab Dich So Lieb.

(I Love You So Much)

Dr King Schultz (Django Unchained) x reader

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Like my work? Buy me a coffee if you'd like to support!

The slam of the door echoes loudly around the small house, the wood rattling on its old hinges. The sound startles me a little, snapping me briefly from the turmoil in my head, though I ignore it as I move to toe my shoes from my feet. 

"Liebling? Is that you?" The soft voice draws me more carefully from my thoughts, my head lifting to find King standing by the stairs, having just descended. He's smiling at me, but his concern is obvious in his intelligent eyes. 

Normally, the attempt at humor would make me laugh a little, but today I can only manage a forced smile. 

"Hello." I greet him, going to remove my coat.

Swiftly, the bounty hunter steps over to me, gentle hands replacing mine as he slowly pulls the garment down over my arms, hanging it on a hook before he turns back to me. I turn to face him briefly, swallowing under his curious gaze. Once more, I give him a tight smile, hoping it's reassuring, though I can see it only serves to increase his worry. 

"Are you hungry? Django brought some fresh bread back with him earlier." King offers me, subtly scrutinizing me for a reaction. 

I shake my head.

"No, I think I'm just going to get some rest." I say, going to leave for the stairs.

He's too fast for me, catching my wrist lightly before I can go, tugging me a little closer to him.

"(Y/n) was ist los? Has something happened?" King tilts his head, moving to hold my hands in his, rubbing his thumbs soothingly over mine.

Sighing, I look down, biting my lip as I realize I should probably tell him.

"Just a rough day, that's all." 

"Rough?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" His clear eyes are clouding with worry.

"Not now...Maybe later." I lift my gaze to his, tense in his hold.

"Of course, Liebling." He smiles reassuringly, moving to envelope me in a warm embrace, his arms pressing me against his body. Succumbing to the sensation of safety from being in his grip, I wrap my own arms around the bounty hunter, burying my face into his chest, breathing in his familiar scent: that cologne I love so much mixed with soap and the faint hint of woodfire smoke. Tension slowly starts to seep out of me, my body yearning to be intertwined with King.

Somehow telepathic, he pulls back, lifting a hand to smooth some hair from my face, smiling softly.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." His accented voice is quiet, tempting me.

I nod at him, allowing him to pull away completely and lead me up the stairs to our shared bedroom. Once there, he sets about removing my uncomfortable day clothes, stopping to lightly skim his hand over my revealed skin, seemingly in awe of me. A blush colors my cheeks at his gaze, only intensifying as he compliments me over and over in that smooth voice of his. 

Carefully, he helps me into some more comfortable clothes, leading me over to the bed. Pushing me gently down onto it, he makes sure I'm settled before he pulls off his waistcoat, pulling his shirt loose from his suspenders and trousers. Eventually, he climbs in beside me, instantly pulling my body into his as he sits up against the headboard. 

Easily, I fall into position against his lower torso, my head resting just below his sternum. Warmth flows into me from his body, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders and gently stroke circles into them, before one moves up to run lovingly through my hair. King deftly pulls the covers over me, lifting one of my hands to his face so he can kiss at my fingers and palm, a smile creeping onto my face as I find myself forgetting the bad day I had. 

Looking up at him, I use the hand he's holding to cup his face, leaning up to kiss him softly on the lips. Sighing happily, the bounty hunter kisses back, cupping my own face with his hand to pull me closer, his facial hair rubbing nicely against my chin and cheek. Parting again, he smiles, carding his fingers through my hair, kissing me once more briefly before urging me to lie with my head in the crook of his neck. 

Quickly becoming warm and sleepy, I lie there contentedly, pushing a hand under his shirt to splay over the firm chest, relishing in the softness of the smattering of hair there.

King's only response is to chuckle and pull me closer, resting his chin on my head.

"Ich hab dich so lieb." He murmurs softly, kissing my forehead.

[mlmxreader]

hey! Can you make more imagine/ headcannon of king Schultz? there are very few and I love how you write<3

yeah, I mean, if people send me any requests then I probably would tbh, especially now that I've got the prompt list on the go at the moment; I'm glad to hear that you enjoy what I've done so far, though!

[unculturedswine-101]

Lemme spoil u bitches <33

[cozywriting]

Dr. King Schultz angst imagines

requested by: nobody (me)

Dr. King Schultz often keeping his distance from you, attempting to ignore his growing feelings in fear that he will lose you like he lost everyone else.

You sat next to Django, staring across the fire at King. He was looking down at his dinner and hadn’t said a word to you for most the night.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked quietly to Django.

“Nah, he always like that.” Django replied, returning to his food.

You gave Django a look. “Not with you.”

Django did not reply and instead took a sip from his canteen. You looked back over at King, who finished eating and was now staring at his feet. It was almost as if he felt your prying eyes so harshly, that he was looking for anything to do but return your gaze.

Django was first to break the silence. “Y’all gonna turn in soon?” He asked, looking back and forth between them.

“Yes, my dear boy,” King finally replied. “I think some sleep would do us well.”

Django retreated across the camp back to his tent, and you and King were alone. You watched as the older man rounded up the mess of his dishes.

“You know if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were giving me the cold shoulder,” you spoke up.

“Now why would you think that?” He asked, taking a moment to reply. His back was turned to her.

You got up and crossed your way to him.

“You went from talking to me every day to,” you paused for the right words. “…this,” you said with a gesture of hands.

“And what is this?” King asked nonchalantly. Clearly, he feigned ignorance. 

“I don’t know!” You huffed, ready to give up. “I just want you to talk to me.”

“We’re talking,” he responded, making no effort to turn his face.

His cold demeanor was disheartening. It angered you, but ultimately you knew better than to chase something that never existed.

“Forget it,” you said quietly. You turned away from him and began walking to your tent.

“Wait—” King called out behind you.

You slightly turned your face and saw his eyes roam to the ground. You could tell he was still attempting to avoid looking at you.

“I’ve lost people,” King said.

You turned around to face him, arms crossed. He looked up and for the first time the entire night your eyes connected with his.

“And I haven’t?” You challenged.

“This is different!” He shouted, causing you to slightly jump. He immediately regretted his tone after seeing your reaction. “I’m sorry,” he pleaded softly. “Please, don’t make me say this.”

“Say what? God forbid I ask you to show me the littlest respect of at least acknowledging me!”

“I have plenty of respect for you and more,” he replied harshly. “Do not belittle my emotions.”

You said nothing and King ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath, calming himself down.

“I care about you, King,” you finally said, breaking his reverie. He looked up at you.

“Fraulein, I care about you too much and there lies the problem,” he said. Even lengths apart, you could see the sadness in his eyes.

“Then why won’t you let me in?” You asked him quietly.

“I never want to watch another person I love die ever again. And at the hands of myself, no doubt.” King’s eyes welled up and he blinked hot tears away. He did not wait for you to reply before continuing. “Besides I’m no good for you, that much is clear. I’m too impulsive and you’ll only get hurt. I could never be so selfish.”

Still shocked by his confession, you remained silent. With King’s mind made up, he headed into his tent. Leaving you out and alone in the cold.

[headoverhiddles]

Assist Me - Dr. King Schultz x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: You and King had been tiptoeing around each other for months after you began working for the man in the small town he arrived in with Django. A touch here, a look there, but nothing seemed to ever come of the small advances... 

Notes: Eee King’s back! This is short, but this was a dream I had a while back. The dream actually ended very sadly lol but this is just happy and sexy! Yay!

Part II

You had started working for King a little under a year ago. He's a nice gentleman, having arrived from Germany, then Tennessee he had said, where he practiced dentistry before. Here in Daughtry, he had been interested in continuing his practice.

He had arrived with another man named Django Freeman, a former slave from around these parts. The man you work for is mysterious, never really speaking much about his past, but you suppose he’s got a reason for that. Sometimes he shows up for work a little late and dirtied, and you get curious... but it's not your job to question him.

 ---

"Morning, doctor," you say, setting a bottle of numbing alcohol on a high shelf.

"(y/n)," King greets, the bell tinkling above the door as he comes in and takes off his hat, "And how are you today, Fraulein?"

"Fine, thank you," you accept his offered hand as you step down, and he smiles at you, tucking his silver blonde hair behind his ears. He’s captivated for a moment, unable to look away, then catches himself. 

"Well. Long work day ahead of us is it?"

You look down at your little journal you keep on the wooden desk by your quill, smirking slightly at how red his ears just got.

"Johnny Baskers is coming in this morning for a toothache. Burt Castie got two teeth knocked out in a bar fight last night and needs a pull on a third one. It's loose."

"Wonderful," he rubs his hands together, sarcasm evident. "Have you ever thought about what the elimination of stupidity would do for people's health?"

You smirk as you gather some more bottles. "All the time, doc."

 He watches you walk away as you go, and bites his lip. He's had a thing for you for a while, but you must never know. It's inappropriate. You're half his age, maybe even younger, and would be more suited to one of the town's eligible bachelors who would offer you a life of more than skipping towns and bounty hunting.

He steals another glance your way. You're smart, but you still haven't figured out his double life here with young Django-- not as far as he knew, at least. Nobody had, which was a relief, since if anyone found out, it would be time to pack up and leave for the next southern town. Emancipation sympathizers weren’t welcome in these parts, and that was putting it lightly. 

As for eligible bachelors, however... you constantly expressed your distaste with all the juvenile men around. You talked of settling down with a more seasoned man who knew how to handle a woman. Perhaps...

King forces the thought away, and focuses on cleaning his pliers. He could always take care of himself if it got to be too much. 

 ---

The appointments that day didn't make things any easier for King. You keep bending over, stretching, reaching, and it's getting him more than a tad bit flustered. 

“--Was just swingin’ at me like a mad buffalo!” Burt howled in the dentist chair. You raise an eyebrow, pouring out some whiskey for him to down. 

“Have you ever seen a buffalo, Castie?”

“Well... no, but-- doesn’t matter! He was a mad buffalo, and I got my teeth knocked in, damn it all to hell!”

“Well,” King smiles, coming over, “You will be out one more problem once I pull this one for you.”

“You’sa gonna yank my other tooth too?!” he blurts. King stares at him in deadpan. 

“As your health professional and amiable acquaintance, I sincerely do not recommend you walking around for the rest of your natural born life with your second front canine hanging by a string of flesh.” Burt stares, stunned, and King gives another one of those impish smiles. “May I proceed?”

He just nods, and you stifle a laugh. 

As King is pulling it, Burt kicks and screams, and knocks the bottle of whiskey off the table. You bend over to retrieve it, hoping for your sake King is watching you, and for Burt’s sake, he’s not. 

The former is true.

“(y/n),” he breathes, watching your skirts ride up. You don’t hear him, and he suddenly turns back to the bloody mouth he’s working on. 

“There,” he says, “Good as new.” The man gives a pained grin, a huge gap in the top middle. You nod. 

“You look great.” 

“I do?”

“Magnificent,” King confirms, “Eh, good day.” 

---

By the end of the day full of you bending over, accidentally exposing your breasts to him without noticing, and working incredibly close to you, the bounty hunter is hot under the collar. 

The sun goes down outside, and you watch the good Christian townspeople head home, and the ne’erdowells start to accumulate around the saloons. Most of them headed over to the place to be on the corner, which was run by a sleazy, racist bald man named Hetter. King didn’t like Hetter much, as you could tell whenever he 'forgot’ to numb his gums a little. You don’t blame him-- you’re sure Django, King’s younger friend, hadn’t received the warmest of welcomes from the man. 

“Ah. What a day,” King smiles, resting against the wooden counter top. He tries not to look at you, because he’s been semi-hard all day and he really doesn’t need you noticing. 

"I'm going to stay for a bit," you tell him, “If that’s alright. Burt made a damn mess of things, I’ve gotta clean up.” 

King hesitates. He usually tells Django to meet him here after his work to discuss plans of which plantation they would hit early the next morning.

“Do not worry about it, mein Fraulein, I will take care of it tomorrow.”

“It’s no trouble, really!”

King concedes, realizing he can’t get out of this situation any other way. "Of course. Take all the time you need." He tries to shut his mouth. He almost succeeds, but-- "I'll also be staying a little late."

"Good," you wink, "You can help me put the tools away, doc."

You start to do so, cringing at the bloody tooth left behind by Castie. King comes up behind you, passing you a couple of dental instruments. You look so good, and he's flushed, he can’t stop staring at you, god-- what is the matter? King usually had perfect control over things like this. It’s like you had a spell on him.

“Something the matter?” you ask. He looks a little dizzy. 

"(y/n)," he murmurs, and you look down at how flustered he looks. You bite your lip, getting down, and raise your eyebrows.

"Something wrong?"

One piece of errant hair has fallen into your face, and your lips are slightly parted. King can’t dispel the thought of dirtying them up, and his fists clench at his sides. He tries to think of something to say. He can only kiss you.

“Mmm,” you let out a startled moan, and he draws back, mustache twitching. 

“I apologize. I don’t know what came over--”

In the span of 3 seconds, you’ve cleared the table of bottles with a crash, and you urge him to lay you down on top of it, pinning you. You let out a needy moan, and King reaches up, hooking his fingers in your underclothes carefully. 

"Is this what you want, darling girl?" he rasps, and you nod feverishly. 

“I’ve wanted you since the day you rode into town.” You lean up to his ear, breath hot against his face. “I wanted to ride you like you were riding Fritz.”

He swears softly, and unbuckles himself. He holds your head up as he slides in, moaning softly at the feeling of you around him.

"I've been wet all day for you, doc," you groan, "Fuck, daddy... need you."

The name shocks him. "(y/n)..."

"It means something else," you assure, grabbing onto his arms and laughing, "Please. Daddy."

Hearing the unorthodox name again ignites something inside of King, and he goes a little bit harder, making you tilt your head back and cry out for him even louder. The bounty hunter doesn’t care one bit at the moment if the entire town of Daughtry could hear (if they took a minute to stop drinking and listen)... he'd been wanting this since the day you slipped your hand into his and introduced yourself. 

"Please, please, please," you continue to chant, until King groans, burying his face in your hair as you come and clench hard around his cock.

"Oh, my dear, my dear," he whispers, "I-I’m afraid I’m close.” 

You nod, and grind down against him. He pulls out just in time, coming into his fist. You looks down at him on the table through a mess of hair and swollen lips, and he sinks to his knees, parting your legs around him. He delves between them, and one, two, three licks and a long sucking motion is all it takes for you to finish. 

You two look at each other for a good long time, until King averts his eyes, putting his spectacles on. 

"You had better hurry home, (y/n)."

Your face falls a little, but you nod, getting off the table and gathering your things. Perhaps you’re just a means to an end, as usual. Maybe he didn’t mean to do that-- men have urges, same as women, maybe you were just... there.

You gather your skirts, and pulls them down, grabbing your things and heading out. As you open the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder. 

"Wait," King says, "I forgot something.” You turn, and he kisses you softly. His hands smooth out down your shoulders, moving in to curl a lock of your hair. When he pulls away, he lingers on your lips, caring not about the busybody townspeople staring at you two and whispering.

"I've always wanted to do that," he admits with a small smile, and you grin, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping in for another kiss.

“Am I interruptin’ something?” Django asks, elbows on his knees. He’s sitting on the bench in front of the shop, and King’s eyes widen. 

“Django, my boy--! You didn’t... we-- you didn’t, you couldn’t, eh... hear... could you?”

“I was tryin’ not to!” Django grins, “But y’all gotta work on the volume. Sounded like you’s running a brothel in there.” 

You giggle into King’s shoulder as the man huffs and blushes, fixing his waistcoat. 

[geminiimagines]

Imagine...

Being married to King Schultz

[stevebuscemi]

imagine all the characters in the tarantinoverse battling it out i just know dr. king schultz would wreck hans landa’s shit up

[brave-and-gentle]

Golden Cage: Chapter 1

An AoT fic, original characterxJean Kirstein

Enjoy, please let me know if you like! -EB

Robin stood in line with the other cadets just like her dance teacher taught her – a string was pulling up on her spine. Tilt your chin slightly up, but not too far. After taking a knife to her long, thick hair, Robin's head felt five pounds lighter. Before entering training, she kept running her fingers through her frizzy brown curls, trying to get used to its new length.

“Hey, moptop!” Sadies screamed at a blonde boy only a few inches taller than Robin.

“Sir!”

“What do they call you, maggot?”

“Armin Arlert from Shiganshina, sir!” Robin stiffened. The town that the Titans had finally broken through and ravaged. Robin heard from the meetings her father held at their estate that the Garrison team wasn't prepared at all.

“Wow, seriously? Why would your parents curse you with such a dumb name?”

“It was my grandfather, sir!” Was. His grandfather must have died in the Titan attack.

“Cadet Arlert! Why is a runt like you here?”

“To help humanity overcome the Titans!” Armin's voice cracked on the word “Titans.”

“That's delightful to hear! You'll be a great light snack for 'em. Row three, about face, runt!”

Sadies grabbed Armin's face and turned him around. He searched for his next victim. He approached a tall boy with ash brown hair.

“What do we have over here?”

“Jean Kirstein, from the Trost District, sir!”

“And why are you here, cadet?”

“To join the military police sir, the best of the best.” Robin didn't dare turn her head to look at Jean, but she imagined a smug smile on his face.

“That's nice. You want to live in the interior, do you?”

“Yes!” Jean exclaimed. Arrogant idiot.

*WHAM*

Out of the corner of her eye, Robin could just barely see Keith headbutt Jean.

“No one told you to sit, recruit! If you can't handle this Kirstein, then you can forget about joining the military police!”

Sadies stalked over to another boy nearby.

“What the hell is wrong with your face, you smiling idiot?”

“Marco Bodt, at your service sir, from Jinae, south side of Wall Rose. I aim to join the military police and give life and limb in service to the king!”

Robin broke composure and rolled her eyes. It was an open secret among the nobility and wealthy merchants that the king was nothing but a puppet. Marco would be sorely disappointed if he ever met him. The mystery and prestige was all for show.

“Well then. That makes you an idealistic fool. And a rube. You want the truth? The only use for your life and limbs is for titan fodder!” Sadies whipped his head toward Robin's direction. “Did I tell you to move your eyes, cadet? Don't think I didn't see that!”

Robin froze. Shit. She didn't dare move her eyes again as Sadies marched toward her. “What's your name and where are you from, smartass?” Robin had never heard a voice so calm, yet so menacing. Sadies towered over her. Robin's head barely reached his elbow height.

“Robin Schultz, sir! From Gelders . . . sir!” Technically, Robin was from the Schultz Estate, but she named the town closest to their family lands. Predictably, a few cadets sucked in a breath of air. Kids from the interior rarely joined the cadets. The last interior kid to join the cadets was about five years ago. Robin heard a rumor that the boy only joined to impress an heiress he was smitten with. And it worked – he graduated in the top ten, joined the MPs, and married the girl. He was forced to resign after they found out he bribed his way to the top.

“An interior princess, huh?” Sadies patronized her. He leaned over to stare just inches from Robin's dark blue eyes. Her knees shook in the new cadet boots. “And why on earth did you end up here?”

“Because I wanted to do something bigger than myself, sir!” Robin tried to match the intensity of Sadies, but her voice shook. That wasn't the whole truth, but it was close enough.

“HA! The Titans are certainly bigger than you, princess pipsqueak, you're in the right place.”

Sadies turned away to yell at the boy next to her, something about a cotton ball head, but Robin barely heard him as the blood roared in her ears, recovering from the Keith Sadies initiation experience.

“Hey you, what do you think you're doing?” All eyes turned to a taller girl, munching on a potato. What in the hell? The girl looked completely unbothered. “You are officially on my shit list! Just who in the hell are you?” Sadies belowed.

“Sasha Braus from Dauper village, at your service! Reporting for duty, sir!” Sasha saluted with potato still in hand.

“Sasha Braus, huh? And what is that you're clutching in your right hand?”

“A steamed potato! It sat there in the mess hall begging to be eaten, sir!

“The theft, I understand. But here? Why eat it here of all places?”

“It looked quite delicious, and it was getting cold. So I gave it shelter in my stomach, sir.” Robin bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

“Why? I can't comprehend? Why would you eat that potato?”

“Are you asking me why people eat potatoes? I'm surprised you don't know, sir.” Sasha hesitated before breaking the potato in half. “Here sir, have half.”

“Have half? Really?”

~

After listening to Sadies scream at the cadets for the next hour, Robin stood on the mess hall porch with Conny, Mina, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa. Though she quickly learned their names, Robin didn't know how to approach a conversation with them. All her friends growing up had been assigned to her, whether or not she liked them.

“Man, I thought Sadies was going to kill Potato Girl,” Conny said. He turned out to be the “cotton ball” standing next to her earlier.

“I know. What a hell of a first day,” Eren said.

“Should we go run with her?” Robin gazed at Sasha, whose running form had rotted away. She was hunched over and her arms swayed from side to side.

“You want to run until sundown?” Conny looked at Robin with incredulous eyes. Robin shrugged.

“She looks like she's having a rough time. I hate running alone.” Sundown was still about two hours away, longer than Robin had ever run.

“Suit yourself. I'm going to make sure I'm well rested before my first day of training.” Conny turned away and walked inside the mess hall, followed by the others.

Robin huffed to herself. Conny had a point. They hadn't even started training yet, did she really want to wipe herself out the night before? But for whatever reason, her heart wrenched thinking about Sasha running all night by herself. Whatever, she thought. I'll deal.

As Sasha started to round the corner closer to the mess hall, Robin bolted down the stairs and waved her hand at her.

“Hey Sasha! Want a running buddy?” Running buddy? Really?

“Oh,” Sasha gasped for air. “Do you have any food?” Her brown eyes shimmered with hope.

“Sadly no,” Robin smirked and fell into step with Sasha. “But I bet we can find some as soon as the sun goes down.”

“PLEASE,” Sasha groaned and gazed at the sky, as if bread would rain down on them.

Each minute seemed to last an eternity. Robin stared at the sunset, willing it to fade faster and faster. At first, her thighs relished in releasing pent up energy, but nearly an hour later, they screamed at her to stop. Robin and Sasha barely spoke, silently agreeing that it was best to save all their energy for the next breath. And the next. And the next. And the next.

At long last, the sun disappeared behind the horizon. As soon as the pair reached the cadet bunk house, they collapsed onto the ground.

“Finally!” Sasha let out in between heaving breaths.

“We did it,” Robin agreed, “But never again.” She flipped on to her back and stared at the stars dotting the black sky.

“AHHHH!!!”

Robin jerked up to see Sasha practically fly through the air and tackle a blonde girl around Robin's size – Christa?

“I'm sorry there isn't more, that's all I could take,” Christa said as Sasha gobbled up the bread. “Hey, hang on, you should really drink a little water first.” She held out a water bottle.

“I'll take it, thank you,” Robin gasped and chugged the water as soon as Christa handed it to her.

“You're a goddess, aren't you? GLORY ONTO YOU!” Sasha bowed down in front of Christa.

“Hey, just what are you two girls up to?” A tall, dark haired girl walked toward them.

“Oh, sorry Robin, here's a roll!” Sasha came up for air, ignoring the newcomer, and shoved bread in Robin's face whilst swallowing another one whole. Robin laughed and accepted the bread. It seemed like she had finally made her first friend.