#kristannasecretsanta2018
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Hindsight: Part 2
@frenzy5150 here is part two of your present!
Rating: T
Words: 6600 (Yeah, I know)
Part 1 HERE
“Ohhhhh, this is not happening.” Anna sprinted out of bed, tripping on the pile of clothes next to it then scrambling back up. She made a bee line for the bathroom. “You are having a dream. A very vivid dream.”
She ran up to the sink, cranking on the faucet and splashed water on her face. “I need to wake up. That’s all.” She slapped her face several times. “I need to wake up!”
Her hands gripped the edge of the sink as she screwed her eyes shut and counted down from ten. Anna took a large breath, opened her eyes and peered back at herself in the mirror.
“How...“ She stood there, her fingers combing through her hair. When she went to bed it was twenty years in the future. How was she here? It wasn’t possible. Yet she was staring at a version of herself she thought was lost.
Anna tried to piece back the events from the night before, but everything was jumbled and fragmented.
“Think, Anna. Think.”
You were at a party, a big one. But for what?
“Oh…” the memory slapped her in the face. It was a party for her. For her and Andrew. For their engagement. She was supposed to be getting married! But now she was here and Andrew was…there and she had no idea how to get back.
Another face flashed in front of her, bringing both a sense of peace and urgency.
“Kristoff! I have to find Kristoff!”
Okay, maybe I’m just hallucinating. But just case I’m not, it’s currently November 24th, 2018 at 7:45am. I have to speak to Kristoff. He’s the only person on this planet that I even stand a chance of getting to believe me.
----
“Kristoff! It’s Anna! I have to talk to you! Open the door! Kristoff!”
Anna banged on the door again in rapid fire. “Kristoff!”
Another set of knocks “Kristooooh!”
The door flew open. “Alright, alright! What the hell Anna? Do you know how early it is? Why did you run all the way out here? You could of just texted me.” He stopped and glared down at her. “Hey, is that my sweatshirt? I’ve been looking all over for that. I told you to stop stealing my-“
Her hands were on his face, cradling him. Anna hitched in a breath as the memory of what happened to them flood over her. “It’s really you. You’re here. We’re still friends.”
She held him there and for a brief moment, Kristoff looked as if he was lost in her touch. He snapped out of it as confusion set in and he stepped back into his apartment, ushering her inside.
Anna walked past him, her mind racing. She was rubbing at her temples trying to figure out a way to tell Kristoff without sounding like a madwoman.
A gentle hand went to Anna’s shoulder, large and warm and the contact made her relax. She felt a buzz of energy where his hand was.
“Anna, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I… I don’t know. I tried to text you- do you have any idea how archaic that is- but you didn’t answer and I didn’t know what else to do, so I came to find you.”
She was breathing rapidly. Kristoff had to sense her desperation. He turned her, putting both hands on her shoulders and lowered his head to get a good look at her. “What is going on?”
“Kristoff. Something is very wrong.” She thrust out her arm. “Pinch me.”
“What?”
“Just do it. Ow!”
“You said pinch you!”
Anna fell back on Kristoff’s couch. “Okay. And I felt it. So that means that I’m not dreaming. So that means that everything that has happened in my life is just gone! Poof!”
“Anna what is going on that you couldn’t talk to Harry?”
“Harry?”
“Yes. Your fiancée. Or have you forgotten about that already?”
“Oh my god! Harry!” She looked down at her finger, noticing the engagement ring for the first time. “It’s 2018. I’m getting married.”
Kristoff cocked an eyebrow. “Yes. It is 2018 and that’s happening. Does he know you’re here? I know he doesn’t like us hanging out and… well, that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. But you haven’t been around as much the last few weeks and I was worried you were listening to him.”
“No… I… I have no idea where he is.”
Kristoff sat down on the other end of the couch. “Okay, I get it.”
“You get it?” Anna looked at Kristoff expectantly.
“Yes. You’re finally starting to crack from everyone questioning you getting married.” He altered the pitch in his voice. “Why are they getting married so quickly? They barely know each other. They’re so young. And my favorite from your sister- you can’t marry a man you just met.”
“No! No, no, no. That’s not it.” She grabbed his hand. “Kristoff. When I woke up this morning, I thought that I was marrying another man.”
“That’s so… Do you need some water or something? Did you go out last night? When was the last time you ate? You should eat something. Let me see if I have any-“
He went to stand up, but Anna pulled him back down. “No. Listen. I am not dreaming this. This is actually happening. I was marrying Andrew Miller. We were at our engagement party. Then I was in the lobby and I blacked out. And now I’m here, with you. And I know something’s wrong because you’re acting like nothing’s wrong that I’m here, sitting with you… talking to you… but really, we haven’t spoken to each other in ten years!”
“What are you talking about? We talk all the time. Almost every day if you count texts.”
“Texts, yes. How quaint. It doesn’t do any good when you don’t answer them! I sent you five messages and called and you didn’t answer. Stop putting your phone on silent. Someday, someone’s going to really need to get ahold of you and you won’t notice it!”
Anna threw her head back. She decided it was time to just blurt it out. “I know how will sound. But there is no other explanation. Kristoff.” Anna put her hands together and spoke slowly. “I am here from the future.”
Kristoff barked out a sharp laugh. “Okay, enough with the jokes. What’s going on?”
“I am Kristoff! I really am. I’m supposed to be marrying Andrew, but I don’t think I want to and I can’t remember why. I don’t know how to get back. I don’t know if I want to get back. But I’m here and I don’t know what to do!”
Kristoff shot up from the couch. He spun around to face her and clapped his hands together nervously. “I think I should call your sis-“
“Think about it. Why would I be saying this if it wasn’t true?”
Kristoff threw his hands down, shaking his head. “I asked if you went out last night. Were you drinking? Were you ever away from your drink?”
Anna stood up and started pacing. “Honestly I don’t remember much about last night, but that’s not what happened. I know I can prove this to you. There has to be something. Something that I can prove to you that I’m from the future. Just think, Anna. Think… Aha!” Anna clapped her hands and pointed at Kristoff. “You’re adopted!”
“…W-What?”
“Yes!” She rolled up on the balls of her feet. “You never told me because when we first met I made a comment about how much you looked like your mom and you got embarrassed. You haven’t told me yet!” Anna started pacing again reaching for the memory. “Because you don’t tell me until after I’m married when we go out to your family’s place on the lake. I remember I was freaking out about some fight with Harry and you needed a break after…” She waived her hands. “Never mind that. But you took me there to unwind. I’m not supposed to know that yet. But you had it all planned out. You showed me a picture of your birth parents and I felt horrible. But you were so sweet and understanding and you said it felt good to finally tell me.”
Kristoff took a step back, reaching blindly for the back of the chair. Anna saw him stumble and she raced over to help him. She brought him back to the couch where he fell into it.
“How do you know that? How? I’ve never told anyone. Not even you. Did Ma tell you?”
“You told me! Or you will. But now I just told you. Way earlier than we are supposed to talk about it. So… yeah.”
Kristoff sat on the couch staring blankly in front of him. Anna placed her hand on his thigh. “Kris, are you alright?”
He turned to look at her as if shaking a fog out of his head. “Ummm, I need to go…to the store…I’m just going…to go…umm and do that. You should lay down. Take a nap, while I’m gone and I work through this…situation.” Kristoff stood up and walked to the door.
“Kris. I know. I know this sounds so crazy. But you have to believe me. Do you believe me?”
He looked at her then reached for the doorknob. “I’m really worried about you.”
----
An aroma filled the room. Anna stretched shaking off the sleep. The couch was so comfortable and she always loved sleeping here. There were nights when she would pretend to fall asleep watching a movie just so she wouldn’t have to go home. Kristoff would tuck her in, thinking she was asleep, pulling the soft blankets up and around her and kissing the top of her head before heading to his room.
She had paced for awhile after Kristoff left, but exhaustion kicked in and the couch looked so tempting. Now she was snuggled up in the familiar blankets and they smelled like him. She had missed this so much.
I’m on Kristoff’s couch. In his place. Which means it’s not a dream. Which means-
Anna sat up, rubbing her temples. “It’s still 2018.”
“Yep. Still 2018.”
Anna twisted on the couch and saw Kristoff over at the counter in the kitchen. He lifted up a plate and smiled. “Hungry?”
She grinned back. “Ravenous!”
----
Had waffles ever tasted so good? Kristoff’s were her favorite and just the taste of them elicited a moan of appreciation. She stabbed her fork again for another bite when she noticed Kristoff staring at her across the table.
“What?”
“You’re eating those like you haven’t had food for a week.”
“I think I have. But not these! I haven’t had your waffles in forever. They’re amazing!”
“Just Ma’s recipe. You can have it if you want it.”
“No, I think part of what makes them so good is having you around to make them.”
She smiled at him and he returned it with his own grin. Kristoff sat there for a while just watching her until he leaned back crossing his arms. He directed his eyes to the table and scowled. Then he let out a loud sigh and Anna knew right there he was giving into whatever he was trying to stop himself from saying.
“So, I went over it and over it and I even called Ma. There’s no way you could have known I was adopted.”
Anna smiled again. “So does this mean you believe me?”
“The only thing I know is you are acting weird. Even for you. Just…” Kristoff shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “Tell me what happens in the future.”
“Okay. So, Harry and I split up. Stop smiling. Yeah, we fell apart pretty fast.”
“What about you and Elsa?”
“We never really reconcile. It has been a rough time us and there’s no one in the world I needed to talk to more than you. But we haven’t spoken to each other in years.”
“What happened to us?”
Their huge fight was still years away. And all the things building up to it, large and small weren’t here either. Anna thought if maybe she didn’t say anything, then maybe it would never happen.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Not yet. The crazy thing is, it hasn’t even happened yet.”
“Well, nothing has, right?”
“Right. If I’m stuck here, I want to do things differently. Starting with you and me.”
She reached across the table, putting her hand on top of Kristoff’s. He looked down at it then up to her, turning his hand over and folded his fingers over hers. “Anna, I…”
A string of beeps interrupted him. “Ugh, what is that sound?” Anna whined.
“It’s your phone. Remember? Probably your boss.”
“That beeping is driving me crazy!”
“Do you not have that in the future?”
“Kind of… but no. Let’s just say it’s a lot easier.”
Anna pushed from the table and found her phone. There were fifteen texts from her boss. “It’s Saturday!”
“So don’t answer them. Honestly Anna, I don’t know why you put up with that.”
“Because I need a job!”
“Yeah, but not one that makes you miserable or one you keep just to prove a point to your sister.”
Anna glared at Kristoff. She put the phone down and walked away. “I’m not. Or maybe I…”
Kristoff stood up and starting clearing the table. “Or what?”
“Nothing.
Kristoff set the plates in the sink, then turned back around to face Anna. “Alright. So, you’re back, or whatever you want to call it. What now?”
“I have no idea.”
---
It was two weeks later when Anna saw Kristoff again, waiting on the steps outside her apartment when he pulled up. She jumped up and bounded over to the truck, but when her hand gripped the door handle, it gave her pause.
Kristoff’s truck. He had worked so hard to pay it off and he was so proud of that even though he never said a word about it. The last time she had seen it, it was mangled beyond recognition.
“Everything alright?”
Kristoff was standing there, his arm outstretched. She could see the concern all over his face.
“Yeah...yeah.” She handed him her bag pulled the door open. “Let’s go.”
The accident was running through her mind the entire drive. It was a year from now. Plenty of time to stop it. But she still had this lingering fear she couldn’t shake. Anna was quiet the ride out of town. At some point, her hand had found Kristoff’s. She wasn’t sure if it was his touch or the location they were heading to that was putting her at ease.
The lake wasn’t that far out of the city; close enough that many people commuted from it for work. The truck eased into the gravel drive and winded through the trees until the most idyllic cabin came into view.
Anna headed straight for the picture window overlooking the lake as soon as they were inside. “Thanks for letting me stay here. I needed to get away.”
This is where they has met; a lifetime ago in her mind. Her family’s summer house was across the lake and out of view. She could have gone there if she wanted, but Kristoff’s place always felt so much more like home.
“Any time. I stocked up the fridge, but we can head over to the store and pick up some more things.”
Anna kept her eyes out on the lake. “It’s beautiful out here.”
He walked up next to her and looked out. “Do you not come out here in the future?”
“I haven’t been out here in years. I never have enough time.”
“You’re here now. Although it would look a lot prettier if we had snow. There isn’t any in the forecast, so I think we’re out of luck.”
“Thanks again for taking me out here. …and for staying with me.”
Kristoff smiled. “No problem. I still have to go to work, but I’ll be back in the evening. Stay here as long as you need. No one comes out here this time of year.”
He moved to go grab the bags and put them in the rooms. An image of the accident flashed in front of her and Anna reached out for his hand. “Wait. I have to tell you something.”
He stopped, glanced down at her hand on his arm and followed her over to the couch. Anna chewed at her bottom lip, not knowing how exactly what to say. This could wait, but her mind was screaming at her that she needed to tell him now. “Next Christmas. Not actually Christmas, but a few days before. The 23rd to be exact. You get in an accident. A bad one. And it’s all my fault.”
Kristoff sat there in silence.
“We get in a fight about Harry and you leave. You never walk out. You know how much I hate that. But it was that bad and you just…leave. It’s wasn’t supposed to snow that night, but it does. The temperature drops really fast and the roads are icy. Another car loses control on the ice, hits you and pushes your truck onto oncoming traffic.”
“Why are you telling me this? You said you didn’t want to tell me too much about what happens in the future.”
“Because it hasn’t happened yet. And if it hasn’t happened that means it doesn’t have to. I caused it before and I’m going to stop it this time. If there’s one thing I can do to make up for all the things I did… Kristoff promise me you won’t drive next December if it snows or gets cold. I can’t bear the thought of seeing you like that again. And me not…” She started crying uncontrollably at the thought. What she had done to him, how she had allowed Harry to manipulate her to not seeing him, not helping him. How Harry accused her of being in love with Kristoff and he forced her to choose between him and Kristoff. She had made the wrong choice last time. She wasn’t going to repeat that mistake.
Strong arms were around her, warm and comforting and it felt like home. Anna held him tightly, burying her cheek in his chest. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s alright.”
“But it’s not going to be.”
“You said it yourself. It hasn’t happened yet. I’ll be careful. I promise. No driving next December.”
“You promise?”
“Yes.”
“So you believe me that I came back from the future. You really believe me!”
“Let’s not get crazy.”
----
After dinner Anna settled in on the couch with a book she found at her apartment. It was one that she had always wanted to read, but had never gotten around to. She had misplaced it at one point during her moves, or gave up on having the time to read.
Kristoff came in with a beer for her and went over to start a fire in the fireplace. He sat down in one the chairs. Anna could feel his eyes on her. She saw him bouncing his leg as he took a drink from the bottle.
“I said you didn’t have to talk about anything, and you don’t. But, I noticed you aren’t wearing your engagement ring. If you want to talk, I’m here.”
Anna set the book in her lap. “I told him I needed time to think. I gave the ring back because it’s a promise I can’t make to him right now.”
“Right now? Why would you keep that door open?”
“I know so much more now- about him, about myself, about the future. I know you don’t like him. You don’t have to say it. Believe me, you have told me plenty. But what if I can fix what went wrong with us? What if that’s why I’m here?”
“You can’t force yourself to love someone.”
He said it so low that Anna barely heard him. She darted her eyes from Kristoff, focusing on the floor. “You don’t know how I feel.”
“I think sometimes I know you better than you know yourself.”
Anna’s head snapped up. The words bounced in her head and she could see Kristoff sitting at the bar across from her. His expression heavy, his eyes weary. She had only seen them like that the last fight they had gotten in.
“Anna, do what you want. All I want is for you to be happy. It doesn’t sound like you were and as far as I’m concerned Harry has not proven himself to be worthy of you. He doesn’t look at you the way-“
Anna cut him off. “Kristoff! You were there! That night of the party! I spoke with you!”
“I..what? I thought you said we didn’t speak to each other.”
“We didn’t. But you were there. I don’t remember what we said. It’s so close, I can almost touch it.”
Kristoff moved next to her, wiping the tears from her cheeks that she didn’t know were there. “I think we’ve had enough talk about the future for one night, okay?” Anna nodded her head in agreement. Kristoff glanced down at the book. “What are you reading?”
“Something I’ve been meaning to get to for twenty years.”
“Want to read it to me?”
Anna smiled, and motioned for him to come closer. Kristoff laid down, putting his head on Anna’s lap and closed his eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair as he got settled.
“You need to cut your hair.”
“Just read the story, princess.”
---
True to his word, Kristoff came back to the cabin every evening after work. He even took a few days off here and there to spend with her. They went out and got a tree and decorated it, he brought her favorite pizza one night and he listened to every crazy rant and story Anna came up with. She started counting down the minutes each evening when Kristoff would be back. Everything felt right when he was around. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt that way.
She was still conflicted. Anna didn’t know who she was anymore or who she was supposed to be. She still didn’t know what to do with Harry. Could she could fix things with him? Was she supposed to? All directions lead to that solution. If she stayed married to Harry, she would prove it to Elsa, she wouldn’t have a falling out with Kristoff and she never would get remarried. But Kristoff questioning if she loved Harry nagged at her. She told Kristoff one night she felt like she was paralyzed.
“You don’t have to plan out your entire life from here,” he said. “You’re losing yourself in the future. Maybe you aren’t supposed to know what happens.”
His words struck a chord. She had heard that before, but she couldn’t place it.
---
The events from the night of the engagement party started to piece together the closer they got to Christmas. Anna remembered how cold she and Elsa were to each other. She also remembered her realization about not wanting to marry Andrew and the panic that ensued. The parts with Kristoff were still hazy, but the one thing she couldn’t get out of her mind was that tree.
“So this tree,” Kristoff said over the pizza he brought home. “Is it over on third? Big lobby, marble floors and a staircase of to the side.”
“That’s the one.”
“Interesting.”
“What’s so interesting about it? Other than it can send people back in time.”
“There was something about what you told me that I couldn’t shake. Then I remembered when I was at work that I know that story.”
Anna put down her pizza. “How could you possibly know about that?”
“When I was little, my mom took me there once. My birth mom. The memory is a little fuzzy, but I can’t believe I forgot this.”
“Forgot what?”
“She told me it was a special tree and it granted wishes to people who needed it the most. She said that her and my dad wished for me to the tree and it came true. I think that was the last Christmas we had together.”
Without a word, Anna got up and hugged Kristoff. The thought of what he had gone through as a child made her hold him as tight as she could. “Can we just stay like this? You and me here together.”
She felt his grip on her tighten as he pulled her closer. “Whatever you want, Anna. As long as it makes you happy.”
---
Kristoff stopped and waived as Anna pulled the truck into the drive. He piled a few logs together for the firewood and walked up her.
“How was driving the truck?”
“Great! I love sitting up so high!” She went up on her tip toes and rustled his hair. “You should be wearing a hat. It’s cold.”
He ran his hand behind his neck. “It’s not that bad. I’m almost done anyway.”
He was inside a few minutes later and started helping put the groceries away. “So how did it go?”
Anna smiled over at him. “Good, I think.”
“Really? How did she take the news of you quitting your job?”
Anna sighed. “It took a little bit of talking, but she understood. I actually think she was relieved. I told her after the New Year, I’d be back around more and start figuring out what to do. And do you know what she said?”
Kristoff leaned forward on the island. “Tell me.”
“It was the craziest thing. First she said I was always welcomed to come work for the company until I figure out what I want to do. Then she told me she hoped I found something else. That I was meant to have a bigger life then slaving away at a job I hate or working for our company where she knows I don’t want to be. She said to do something that made me happy and that I was extraordinary. Me! Can you believe that?”
“Well, you are”
“You and Elsa are the only two people that think that, but thank you.” Anna sat down on the stool right next to Kristoff. “She also told me she was sorry for how she acted about Harry, even though she stands behind what she said. She said it was because she wants everything in my life to be perfect. I told her maybe it doesn’t have to be perfect. Maybe if you try to be perfect, you miss everything. You miss the moments in between. And for what?”
Kristoff shifted. He was looking down at hands, when he looked up, his eyes were tender. He ran fingers along her cheek. “Anna, if you can find those moments in between, I think you will understand why you’re here.”
She reached up and held his hand in place. Neither of them moved. Kristoff’s words rang so true. And now he was so close to her and everything felt so good. It made her want to lean in and...
They both jumped as the buzzer from dryer in the mud room went off. Kristoff backed away.
“Uhh, I should go get that.”
---
Anna went through the room, grabbing whatever clothes she could. Kristoff would understand why she left. He was probably tired of having to come out here every day any way. It was a selfish ask on her part. All because she was lonely and because she missed him.
Never mind that she had come to enjoy her time with Kristoff more than she thought possible. Never mind that she had fallen asleep wondering what it would have felt like if she had kissed him. They had always been close, but this felt different. There was a pang inside about her leaving, but this wasn’t why she was sent back.
She dreamt about Kristoff too last night. They were back at the bar sitting next to each other and she remembered how much she had hurt him. She woke up in a cold sweat. She couldn’t let him get hurt like that again.
That morning, Harry called several times. When Anna finally answered he was begging for her to come back. They could fix everything, he said.
It was all a sign- the dream, Harry calling. She knew what went wrong with them. She could make sure it didn’t happen again. It would put everything right and the night of the party would never happen. Just as she wished.
Anna was about text Harry to come pick her up when Kristoff came inside.
“Where are you off to?”
A knot formed in the pit of Anna’s stomach. “I need to leave.”
“Go where? Are you going over to Elsa’s? I can give you a ride?”
Anna closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she told him everything.
---
Kristoff just stood there, not saying a word. When she finished, she looked back up at him, hoping for some understanding on his part.
“You’re making a mistake.”
“No. This is why I’m here. Don’t you understand? I have to fix this!”
Kristof shook his head. “What are you going to fix?”
“Everything that went wrong!”
“Everything that went wrong with who?”
“You know who.”
Kristoff scrubbed his face. “I don’t understand why you feel you have to do this.”
“I just do. It’s what has to be done.”
“But at what expense?”
“Excuse me?”
“Answer this question. Honestly and I’ll leave you alone about it. I’ll even drive you to his place and walk away and never see you again if that’s what you want.”
“Kristoff, that’s not what I want.”
“Do you love him?”
“Why are you asking me this? I’m supposed to marry him.”
“Do you love him?”
“When I look into the future, I see a series of cross roads where I make the wrong decisions. Decisions that hurt us. Decisions that hurt you! This is a way to stop that.”
He crossed his arms, his face going hard. “But do you love him?”
“Don’t make me say it. I’m doing what I have to do.”
Kristoff’s shoulders slumped. The look of sorrow in his eyes were the same as her dream. “Then you learned nothing. Not from when you were married, not when you were going to get married again and not now.”
“Kris, I-“
He held out his hand. “I don’t know what came between us. I could guess, but I don’t want to know. I can’t be around anymore knowing that you are going to throw your happiness away. You’re trying to force a future that hasn’t come yet instead of looking at what you have right now.”
Tears were streaming down Anna’s cheeks. She watched Kristoff pick up his keys and walk to the front door.
“Kris, no.”
“I have to go. I’ll get out of your way. Good luck with everything. Merry Christmas.”
She fell to the floor as soon as the door closed. This was all happening again. It was in the wrong order, but she wasn’t able to stop it. Kristoff was gone. The one person that meant more to her than anything had disappeared out of her world again.
When Anna picked herself off the floor, she had no idea how long she had been laying there. He head was fuzzy as she stood and went over to the kitchen for a water. She took several gulps, staring at nothing when she noticed one of the magnets on the fridge. The words were small, a green background with white lettering. She moved closer to see what it said.
“Do not pursue the past. Do no lose yourself in the future. The past no longer is. The future has not come. Look deeply at life as it is.”
How long had this been there? Anna didn’t remember seeing it before. She read the words over and over trying to place where she had heard them before. Her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. “Kristoff,” she whispered as the memory from the night of the engagement all came back to her at once.
She had figured it out too late last time; only when he left, only when she allowed herself to put aside what she thought she should do and admit to what she always wanted. She had realized she had always loved Kristoff the same moment she lost him.
Kristoff’s words rang out as if he was standing right in front of her. Anna had to hold herself against the counter to stay standing. There never was a time when I wasn’t in love with you.
“Kristoff loves me?” Anna said at first in disbelief. “He loves me. He really loves me! Kristoff loves me!”
Attempting to fix things with Harry wasn’t the answer. Anna had been fighting against the truth the whole time. She didn’t love him. That wasn’t something she could put a bandage on and hope it would all work out this time. Not when she was in love with someone else all along. However large or small its meaning, part of the reason Anna was sent back was to set things right with Kristoff.
A sense of dread kicked in. Kristoff had left and Anna had no idea where he was going or if he’d ever come back. There was no roadmap or memory she could work from this time. All Anna knew was she had to get him to come back. She looked around frantically for her phone. She found it next to the couch and sent a series of messages.
-come back, pls. We need to talk
-I was wrong, so so so wrong
-I love you!
-And I know you love me. Come back. I love you
She was about to call and leave him a message when she looked outside. “Snow? It’s not supposed to be snowing.” She went closer to the window to get a better look.
When holding onto twenty years of memories, specifics can get lost. Years blend together, dates get jumbled and sometimes the details aren’t what one thinks. Kristoff’s accident was on December 23rd. That date was seared into her mind. But she had gotten the year wrong.
“No!” Anna cried. The phone fell out of her hand, bouncing loudly onto the hardwood. How could she have forgot? How? Kristoff and she had fought over Harry, but it was before she was married not after! There had been so many problems from the beginning of that relationship that it all blended together.
Anna scrambled to find her phone.
Answer. Answer this time. Answer your phone, dammit!
The automatic voice came over saying the voicemail was full and disconnected.
---
There wasn’t anything Anna could do. She had worn a path in the living room circling it over and over. A call to the state patrol stating that Kristoff may be in an accident hadn’t warranted anything. But they had promised they would contact her if anything came up.
Anna continued her circles when the door flew open when a blast of cold air shot at her. Icy hands were on her cheeks, through her hair, down her neck then back as she was pulled to the solid form. Snow fluttered down, landing on her hands and nose. But the lips on hers were warm, lighting a fire in her from their intensity.
She tilted her head up, lips still tingling from his touch and a grin so wide it should make her face ache. “You’re okay. You came back.”
“I did.” Kristoff gazed down on her and gave Anna a lopsided grin that made her heart feel like it was going to burst out of her chest. She leapt up into his arms, kissing his face wherever she could over and over.
“How did you… what made you come back? Why are you so cold?”
Kristoff adjusted Anna and fished for something in his coat pocket. He held up his phone with all of Anna’s texts.
“I got pretty far out. But whole thing was eating at me and I… I just turned around. I had to tell you how I felt. I couldn’t leave without you knowing I was in love with you. For some reason I turned on my phone and I saw your messages. I tried to text you back, but the service was spotty. I was trying to get back as fast as I could when the rest of your messages came through.”
“You saw them? Kristoff, I was so worried. I thought-“
He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m okay. When I saw your messages I just stopped. I ended up pulling into a gas station and I walked the rest of the way.”
“You walked? That’s why you’re practically frozen!”
Kristoff shrugged. “It was only a few miles. Totally worth it to get back to you.”
Anna slid down from Kristoff’s arms. She started tugging at his coat as he pushed off his boots. “Come. Sit. I’ll get the fire going.”
When she reached for his hand to pull him over, he resisted. Anna looked back at Kristoff in question.
“Anna.” His voice was soft. “Did you mean what you said…in the messages. If you don’t, I understand.”
It was her turn to crash into him. Anna pulled him to her level, kissing him with a passion she had never felt before. She pulled back, breathless.
“It took me twenty years to see what I’ve felt all along. I’ve always been in love with you Kristoff Bjorgman.”
His expression was almost giddy. “Oh god, Anna. I love you, too. You have no idea how much I do.”
Anna tilted her head, looking at him coyly. “So does this mean you finally believe me?”
“Without question.”
It took him a second to notice she was pulling him through the room. “What are you doing?”
“Come with me. I have a better way to warm you up than a boring ole fire.”
He let her drag her into the bedroom, grinning like a fool the whole way.
---
“I can’t believe we have to walk this far to get to Elsa’s!”
Anna kept her arm looped through Kristoff’s as they navigated the unshoveled sidewalk.
“With all the snow, none of the side streets are plowed. I could have gotten in, but there wouldn’t have been a place to park.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind walking with you. It’s so beautiful out. Just like Christmas should be with all the snow.”
‘Technically, it’s not Christmas yet.”
“Christmas, Christmas Eve. Same difference.”
Anna leaned her head on Kristoff’s shoulder. She didn’t notice he had stopped, still dreaming about the last twenty four hours and how they had barely left the bed and how she couldn’t wait to get him back into it.
He didn’t move when she went to take a step. Anna followed Kristoff’s gaze over to window across the street.
“Anna. I think… I think that’s the tree my mom took me to. Is that the same one?”
The building had changed over the years, but the tree stood in the lobby just as it would twenty years from now.
“Yes.” Anna looked over in reverence. Whatever had brought her had changed her life for the better. She was done questioning how. She moved to wrap her arms around Kristoff. “I guess I got what I was really wishing for all along.” She gave him a soft kiss. “What about you? Care to make a wish?”
He chuckled and smiled down at her. “No. I already have everything I could possibly wish for.” He took his hand, cradling her cheek and leaned down to kiss her.
“Merry Christmas, princess. I love you.”
“I love you too, Kris. Merry Christmas.”
Okay, don’t ask me how I got here. But I’m here. No idea how this all happened. Not sure I really want to understand. But I do know a few things. I’m in the arms of the love of my life, I have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow and I couldn’t ask for anything better.
#kristannasecretsanta2018#kristanna#kristoff#anna#Edin what did you write#ugh this is so long#but I didn't have time to edit it down this week
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The Unexpected
SURPRISE @karis-the-fangirl! I am your (late) Secret Santa! So sorry for the delay, life’s been absolutely insane the last few days BUT I managed to finish this for you! It’s got some pining, probs bad grammar, horrible transitions, ‘one bed’ trope(ish), and overall cuteness! I hope you enjoy it & hope you have a great Christmas!
Words: 1813
Rating: K
Anna hadn’t expected the gift.
A full weekend getaway in the mountains; a little cabin nestled right on the edge with full view of the valley below and surrounding snowy mountains.
It was near several trails to explore, some with waterfalls and one even with hot springs.
It was the perfect gift, a getaway that Anna desperately needed.
Anna hadn’t expected Elsa to bail.
When she got the gift, she thought of asking Elsa, and at first Elsa was all for a weekend break.
At first.
Then, a business matter came up. Urgent & needing tending to, something that ‘couldn’t wait a weekend’ according to her sister.
Slightly annoyed, Anna said she ‘understood’.
Anna hadn’t expected her sister to suggest him.
She had blushed immediately at his name, trying to come up with some excuse as to why it wasn’t going to work; how it wasn’t a good idea & a disaster in the making.
The excuses were really to hide the faint bit of excitement at the idea, the way her heart sped up at the thought of a weekend with him.
After more encouragement, Anna finally gave in (she swore she could tell Elsa was grinning on the other end).
Anna hadn’t expected Kristoff to say yes, and so quickly as well.
Things had been, awkward, to say the least lately. They had been as thick as thieves in high school, never leaving each other’s sides. Always getting up to some kind of mischief or just enjoying a lazy afternoon together somewhere in the small town.
Then reality hit, acceptance letters received, distance came and separation happened.
Years passed, and it took a chance run in a few months ago for the pair to meet again.
Anna hadn’t expected to see him.
The site of him made her stop in her tracks.
Kristoff had grew, somehow more than his growth spurt in high school. The skinny, tall, lanky teenager was fit, bulked up, but his hair was still just barely hanging in his eyes.
He had stuttered a hello to her when she walked up to him in the store, and all it took was to see that grin she knew so well and she was done.
It took that one chance meeting to know she was head over heels for Kristoff.
Really, she had been since high school. Nerves got the best of her, regrettably so, and she never told him. The years that passed while at college Anna had missed him greatly, always regretting never saying anything, and too scared to send a text after all this time.
Now here they were, having some pizza like old times, wim him stuttering to try and save the quick “Yes!” he had exclaimed at the diner while Anna giggled.
Anna hadn’t expected the drive.
Well, that’s a lie, she had expected the long drive. What she didn’t expect was the absence of awkwardness.
The days leading up, she started to worry and half regret asking.
What if it was weird?
What if she said something stupid?
What if Kristoff didn’t enjoy it?
What if she spilled the beans on how she felt?
What if he didn’t feel the same?
For a moment, a fleeting moment, when she had first gotten in Kristoff’s truck, it was there. Awkwardness tried to creep its way in.
Then, Kristoff asked if she was ready, and with a sly grin she had replied, “I was born ready”.
Hours passed easily, with jokes, stories, and moments of comfortable silence as they drove up the mountain side.
It was like old times, better even.
Anna hadn’t expected the cabin to be so beautiful.
It was just as the picture had shown; small, quaint, perfect for a weekend getaway that sat perfectly beneath the pine trees & snow.
One by one Anna bounded around the cabin, taking it all in and caught up to Kristoff who was standing in the doorway to the bedroom.
Anna hadn’t expected the one bed.
For a moment, they both stared at the bed. Anna glanced over and could see a slight blush on Kristoff’s face; she was curious if it was from the cold.
The awkwardness came back immediately then, till Kristoff mentioned he’ll take the couch.
Oh no, that was not going to do.They had not driven all the up here for him to sleep on a couch.
“We’re adults Kristoff, we can share a bed.”
This time, the blush was definitely not from the cold.
Anna hadn’t expected the butterflies.
Once moved into the cabin, Anna had convinced Kristoff to go explore a quick nearby trail before night fall.
It was then that as Anna pleaded and begged to go, that Kristoff had chuckled and said “You know I can’t say no to you”.
For some reason, hearing that gave her butterflies.
Anna had stared at him for a moment then caught herself, quickly dashing for the door as she called “Last one in the snow is a rotten egg.”
Thankfully, the cold hid her blush.
Anna hadn’t expected the snow storm. Neither of them had.
She had known she was forgetting something that morning, but after checking her suitcase three times she gave up.
As she made a mad dash for the cabin door as it came into view, she realized it had been the weather she had forgotten to check.
The storm had rolled in and both had been distracted by the beauty of the woods around them. Kristoff called it the moment the first snowflake appeared in front of them. Anna had been skeptic, seeing no real change.
It was when they were halfway back that the bottom fell out and they were quickly covered in snow.
Shivering, Anna made it to the door of the cabin, too cold to bring her hands out of her pockets to open the door.
Sensing her discomfort, Kristoff had opened the door. Without hesitation, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her inside.
Next thing she knew, she was sitting beside the fire, blankets wrapped around her while Kristoff held her.
She could feel his chest rising against her back and the butterflies had returned immediately.
They had sat there for what seemed like forever, so comfortable and warm within each others arms.
He had whispered in her ear, “Do want hot cocoa?”, and it sent a shiver down her spine.
Anna hadn’t expected to see him like that.
She had gone to grab her phone charger, when the door to the bathroom had opened.
There Kristoff stood, shirtless, hair still damp from the shower, and Anna couldn’t help but gauk.
He was hot, she had known that but holy shit.
She blinked, noticing he was looking at her quizzically. She started to stutter an apology, and decided on just darting out the door.
She couldn’t look at him without blushing the rest of the night.
Anna hadn’t expected to feel...rejected.
Was it rejection?
Kristoff had hardly spoken to her the rest of the night, could hardly look at her really, and then when it was time for bed, he had made sure to lay on the farthest side away from her.
He didn’t even utter a goodnight.
After the day they had had, the progress they’d made over the few months, the time spent by the fireplace; For some reason, it had just crushed her.
She listened to the storm rage outside, his gentle snoores beside her and she couldn’t stand it.
Grabbing the blanket off the foot of the bed, she went to the living room, careful not to wake Kristoff.
Anna hadn’t expected to cry.
As the snow had fallen, so did her tears as she watched from the living room.
There had been a part of her, small but strong, that hoped that maybe this would be the shove to get Kristoff to notice her.
To see how she felt, to see how much she loved him.
Instead, it seemed it had pushed him away.
This whole thing had been stupid. The butterflies were stupid. The idea this could work out was stupid. Her feelings were stupid.
Everything was just stupid.
Anna hadn’t expected him to wake up.
Kristoff had followed her, making her jump when he spoke.
She turned, trying frantically to hide her tears with the blanket.
“What’s wrong?” He had asked.
“Nothing.” she said, sniffling. “I’m fine. Go back to bed.”
“Anna,” he began but she had stopped him,
“Don’t, please don’t.” He had been confused then, “Just, leave me alone.”
“Anna, please, tell me what’s wrong.”
There was a pause, and finally, “Kristoff, why did you come?”
“What?”
“Why did you come?”
“Because you asked?”
“So?”
“So?”
“You didn’t have to say yes, but you did. Why?”
“Anna, what is this about?”
“How do you not see it?”
He had paused then, “See what?”
“What I’ve been hiding from you for months now, what I hid from you since we were kids.”
He just stared at her. She was crying again.
“When you left after high school, it crushed me. It hurt so much and I tried to just, let you go to make it better but...it made it worse. I was so miserable. Now, seeing you here, having you back, it’s like we’re kids again; it’s been the best time of my life. I’ve missed you so much and all that time, more than anything, I regret never telling you how I felt, how I still feel.” Anna had paused then, catching her breath, “I love you Kristoff. I’ve loved you since we were kids. I...I can’t remember a time I didn’t and I’m so afraid that you’ll leave again not knowing and I don’t know if you love me too but...but I just had to tell you before--”
Anna hadn’t expected him to kiss her.
He had all but run across the room, pulling her close to his chest as he cradled her head. The feeling of his lips to hers nearly made her legs give out.
It was magical, perfect and more than she had dreamed about.
They finally broke apart, both gasping and both smiling from ear to ear.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Kristoff murmured.
“What?” Anna giggled, tears falling once again, “Really?”
“Really.” Kristoff chuckled, “And you think I’m clueless? I don’t know how I hid it from you for so long as I did. I’m pretty sure your sister knew.”
“What?!” Anna blinked, “I...I had no idea.”
“Seriously? I don’t know how you didn’t know.”
“I...I don’t...I...what?”
Kristoff chuckled again, capturing her lips with his to silence her confusion.
Anna hadn’t expected any of it, but as she left the cabin hand in hand with Kristoff a few days later, it was better than she could have ever imagined it to be.
#kristanna#kristannasecretsanta2018#kristoff#anna#i am so so soooo sorry it's late#I hope you enjoy it#it's a mess I know
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Luck and the Lady- A Kristanna Oneshot
Merry Christmas @the-blue-fairie!!! I’m your secret Santa! As a 19th Century Scholar/ Nerd I had to write a Victorian England AU for you! My specialty is really more US-centric, so this may be a bit off, but Kristanna kisses hide a lot of historical inaccuracy crimes! I hope you enjoy it!
Universe: Victorian England AU
Rating: G (General Audiences)
Length:4885 Words
Kristoff Bjorgman had always considered himself extremely fortunate, particularly when he took a moment to think just how differently his life could have gone. Orphaned at the age of five, so small that he couldn’t remember the face of his mother, but not so small that he could not recall the pangs of hunger he felt in the first week of her absence, one he spent in an overcrowded orphanage. After running from it’s walls, he imagined he would have had a quite colorful and unique career as a street urchin, but he’d had no such luck in staying on the streets. He’d tried to nick a few pence from a lady’s pocket and had ended up with his wrist caught up in her hand and had expected her to beat him with the other. She hadn’t.
Duchess Arendelle with her fashionable features, perfectly in place chestnut hair and soft eyes had been as kind as she was lovely, and perhaps even more than that she was practical. She hadn’t let him take so much as a coin from her pocket, but she had instead stooped down to his height and invited him to walk with her to the home of a good friend who would see him fed and washed. Half fearing what would happen if he denied her, he’d walked at her side, his filthy bare feet keeping pace with her shining leather boots as they went along.
She’d seen him taken care of, as she’d promised, and then instead of turning him back out onto the streets, she’d taken him to have tea with her in the parlor of Duchess Corona’s city estate. The pair of women, both as fair and polite to him as if he were one of their own, asked him of his plight and then turned their conversations back to their children.
When their visit ended Kristoff was given a seat beside Duchess Arendelle in her carriage and was treated to a bit of apple as they set off for Fjordside Manor. She’d made up her mind the moment she’d heard he was without any kin, and he had been made aware of her plans for him on their way back to her husband’s estate. He was to work as an apprentice under the farrier and stablemaster that tended to their prized team, he might also be called from time to time to help in the kitchens but would be fed and housed and given an education.
He could still recall her telling him how he was the same age as her eldest daughter and that she’d like him to take lessons with her and that he’d find that the staff was treated kindly and that the stablemaster’s wife Bulda would take good care of him. She hadn’t lied about any of it, and now a man of twenty-one he couldn’t help but to look back upon her kindness fondly. He’d been lucky that it was her purse that he’d tried to steal from, something that she never brought up to him or anyone else even in her dying breath. Had it been anyone else he knew he’d still be on the streets or that he’d be dead.
“Good afternoon Kristoff,” a soft feminine voice called from behind him, and when he turned, he tipped his hat to the new Duchess, his longtime schoolmate and now employer. She was accompanied with her sister Lady Arendelle, a red haired beauty who was due to make her debut season at the age of 18, two years late due to the chaos surrounding their parents sudden and tragic death as well as the constraints placed upon her from the corresponding year long mourning period.
“Your horse is prepared Your Grace, however I must apologize as one of the grooms is ill and I was only able to make one horse ready without the help,” he turned then to Lady Arendelle and lowered his head, “I’m afraid I’ll need another moment your ladyship.”
Lady Arendelle, for her part, barely contained a snort laugh. The Duchess shot her a look that lasted only a moment before she softened and barely hid a grin herself. Despite the fact that they were much above him in rank, they never felt the need to maintain decorum around him for long. It was difficult for all of them to maintain the “necessary” distance when they’d been on a first name basis for years.
“I’ll leave Anna in your… capable hands then,” Elsa said with a smirk as she mounted her horse without assistance and took off.
Kristoff saw his own blush reflected in Anna’s face as they stood alone together and watched Elsa ride off on her own out of sight.
“You think she knows about us then?” Anna asked, and he knew that she was joking, because of course Elsa had known. She’d spent the entire year hinting to the fact and slipping away to ensure they were given free time that was hardly proper. He supposed it was just another bit of luck that Elsa, who could be cold to many, still considered him a friend enough to trust him to treat her sister nicely and respectfully.
It was a kind torture.
“Shall I ready your horse then?”
She rolled her eyes and he couldn’t help but to smile. For someone who was about to make their debut in society Anna certainly was acting a bit common, he blamed it on too much fraternization with the help.
“Well my lady if you aren’t planning to go riding this morning, why did you dress in your riding habit and follow your sister out to the stables?”
Anna grinned broadly and closed the space between them, hips sauntering as she did so in a manner that was anything but ladylike but certainly very womanly. He couldn’t help himself but to watch, she was gorgeous. She always was, but in the morning light her red hair, even up in a bun and partially obscured by her hat, was ablaze. Her blue eyes, as always, held a feisty mixture of confidence and curiosity. It was a combination that often got her into trouble when they were young, and he knew first hand how much trouble she could get up to now. Her skin was pale against the emerald green of her habit, but it didn’t make her look gaunt or garish, in fact it added to her beauty as if she were a creature made of precious gems and snow. The only interruption of the image was the smattering of freckles on her nose and cheeks. He also knew they were on her shoulders and he’d spent a few stolen moments counting them in the relative safety and privacy of the hayloft on evenings she managed to sneak out to see him. He’d even kissed a few on her nose on a particular winter evening several months before when she’d been tired of being stuck indoors and had found him in his home in the carriage house. He’d managed to get ahold of himself before he started to do the same to the ones on her décolletage. She hadn’t wanted him to stop.
“Because Mr. Bjorgman,” she said haughtily, “I happen to have it on very good authority that you like to look at my bum when I’m wearing a slim skirt. God only knows whether you’d still be standing if I forewent the overskirt and arrived in your stables wearing only the trousers I’ve got beneath, you’d be passed out surely.”
His mouth went dry. Oh how she loved to tease him, and yet she wasn’t incorrect in the slightest. He did like the look of her silhouette without all the bustles, skirt layers, and overly restrictive corsets. He probably would pass out if he ever saw her in the tight leggings of her riding costume, he was certain he’d perish if he ever had the opportunity to see anything more than that.
She sighed, dropping the teasing act and slipping her fingers between his as he held them at his sides. They were close, but not too close. They were good at that, close enough to be intimate in the most chaste sense of the word, but not so close that they couldn’t suddenly part should someone go looking for Anna and be curious of where her chaperone had gotten off to.
It was rare that they were able to be anything more than chaste in their affections for one another, and since Anna had turned sixteen any time they spent together was usually brief or by night behind a locked door or in the dark hayloft lit by a carefully guarded lantern.
“Surely you know by now that I only come here for you,” she mused, giving him a look of love that always made him feel conflicted. He knew that by rights he didn’t deserve it, his station didn’t allow it, but by action he perhaps came close. He cared for her deeply, looked out for her, always kept his affections gentle, and treated her with great care. He had no intentions of ruining her and he’d strangle any man who might care to with his bare hands.
“Sven is certainly aware of that,” he said with a sigh referring to the grey stallion in the stables behind them, “he’s growing fat from a lack of exercise and an excess of carrots. I know I shouldn’t overstep my lady, but you really do need to stop spoiling him.”
Anna pouted, “None of that ‘my lady’, no one’s in earshot, I’ve always been Anna to you and I’ll have you continue to call me that. If you’d like to claim me in an address you may call me your Anna, but not your lady. I’m the court’s lady, damned that I be presented soon, but I will always be your Anna.”
He looked to the ground, unable to look her in the eye. How easily it had always come to him to think of Anna as his when they were young, how easy it had been when she was still mourning, coming to him for comfort and the ease of the relationship they’d developed since he’d come into her life when she was just a babe. It was hardly so easy now when he was fully aware of the fact that she’d soon be someone else’s wife. The sheer thought of such a thing made him want to expire but given that it would upset her more than anything he would settle for punching something later.
He glanced behind to the stable, unwilling still to release her hands from his even knowing that he should, that despite Elsa’s willingness to leave them alone, someone else might come along at any moment and cause a mess for them both.
“I should really prepare a horse for you my…” he let the phrase trail off, unable to bring himself to finish either address.
“Kristoff,” she said, her voice so low that he couldn’t help himself but to look at her.
It was a fatal mistake on his part because as soon as he saw her face he lost all restraint. Her sparkling blue eyes were filling with tears, she was frowning and he knew that there was something seriously wrong. His Anna was never so distraught without good reason, and it split his heart in two to imagine that he might have something to do with it.
“Kristoff,” she repeated, voice a bit stronger, “You love me, don’t you?”
He froze on the spot. There was no good answer. The honest answer would only make matters worse for her and a lie would be cruel, and he wasn’t sure that he could live with himself if he did. There was no easy way to ease the pain of the situation for either of them, so he said the first thing that came to mind.
“That’s an unfair question and you know it.”
She looked a bit mad when she heard him respond, and for a half a second, he sighed in relief. If she got mad and stomped off, he wouldn’t have to say anything that would hurt her. He was forever avoiding hurting her in any way.
“Life isn’t fair,” she said, face scrunched in anger, but clearly not going anywhere as the tears in her eyes started to leak from the corners, “Answer the question.”
He shot her a look in return and slipped his hands from hers to turn away, but was caught by her hand wrapping around his wrist. The half a moment of relief he had been feeling was replaced with dread. They were both too emotional and he knew that it was going to get one of them hurt.
“Are you commanding me my lady?”
The words were combative, and he knew it, but he couldn’t help but say them. When she let him go he supposed that it should feel like a victory, but it didn’t because he wasn’t smart enough not to turn back to look at her. He wasn’t smart enough to walk away from her as she cried, because there was an ache in his chest that he’d caused in her as well. He’d caused exactly the sort of situation he was attempting to avoid.
“You know I would never…” she trailed off as her voice cracked and tears flowed down her cheeks. He could see how flushed she looked, and he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up into his arms and apologize, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk someone seeing them and ruining her reputation for being seen embracing her stable master.
Even more so he couldn’t risk breaking her heart, so he caught her hand in his and brought her into the stable with him, up the ladder to the hayloft where he never brought her in the light of day, and then he pulled her into his arms as he sat atop a bale of straw.
He shushed her softly as she wept, sweeping tears off her freckled cheeks with his fingers as she leaned into him.
“I’m sorry Anna, I’m so sorry my dove,” he whispered into her hair, holding her close, “I’m sorry it’s always like this. I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.”
“All I need is for you to love me,” she cried, only somewhat soothed by his attentions.
He shushed her again and pressed his lips to her part.
“No my dove, you need more than that.”
He felt awful on all accounts. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It felt so good to hold her despite the circumstances, and to have her so close and so out of reach in the same moment drove him mad.
“You’ve known me my whole life Kris,” she said, shifting her head up so that he was forced to remove his lips from her hair and instead look at her face as she spoke, “what else have I ever wanted? What else have I ever needed?”
He was trying to hold back tears of his own. He knew that she understood, somewhere she had to understand. Her affections for him and his for her were a fantasy that they’d been able to play out briefly due to childish innocence, a need for support, and due to the grace of her sister. Society would hardly be so kind to them should it go on, and yet he sat with her on his lap, in his arms, unable as he always was, to put a stop to things.
“Anna, you must understand…” he trailed off before rubbing a palm over his own wet eyes, “you must know that this would never be accepted. You belong upstairs and I down. I could never give you a life befitting of a lady. We’ve discussed this before…”
He sighed, knowing none of it mattered to her in the moment.
“And what I’m about to say will change nothing of it. You’ll be presented to court in a month or more and you’ll wed a man befitting of your station. Elsa still has enough affection for me that she might let me see that he’s a good man before you’re seen off with him to some estate on the other side of the country with your dowry and the promise of more in pin money than I could make in months to take care of us both.”
She was looking at him blankly. He knew she understood what he was saying, but she wasn’t letting him off the hook. He snuggled her closer and closed his eyes as he let his tears fall. He could be weak before her, and it wasn’t unexpected when her small hand reached up and wiped at his cheeks.
He caught her hand in his and opened his eyes, looking at her. She was lovely even disheveled and with tear-stained cheeks. She was so much more than a beauty and it was something that her upperclass husband would likely never know. Few would take the time to listen to her speak on subjects she’d been educated in beyond asking her to sing them to sleep or perhaps play the piano. They would never listen to her fiery opinions on politics, they would never hear her speak about anything but homemaking and trifle bits of gossip. Even if she found someone who did care, he was willing to bet, albeit selfishly, that they would never know her as well as he did.
“It really won’t change a single thing,” he said, his voice cracking as he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm, “but… Mercy…”
He sighed, taking a moment to breathe before he said the words that would damn them both.
“I love you my Anna, I’ve always loved you since we were schoolmates and you would spend hours toddling after your sister and I and I’ve never stopped loving you a single day.”
She only looked surprised for a moment and he was only surprised for a moment in return when he felt her lips press into his. He’d fallen for her hard and recklessly everyday of his life and now he was pulling her closer and closer, cradling her into his arms as he kissed her back in the middle of the hayloft.
“Marry me,” she whispered against his lips, “please. I don’t care about pin money or a grand home or any of it. I just want you.”
He had no time to answer or even process what she was saying because they’d been found. The sound of a throat clearing from the top of the nearby ladder caused them both to freeze, and when Kristoff saw who was standing before them he wondered whether he was about to be politely asked to unhand Anna, whether he would be politely asked to leave his post and never return, or whether he was going to be politely murdered. Everything Duchess Arendelle ever did was polite with an edge of ice, and that was what made her so absolutely terrifying.
“Mr. Bjorman,” she said calmly, “If you could kindly release the lady and accompany me to my office…”
He carefully helped Anna to stand from her place on his lap and then followed her sister. He was wondering whether it was possible that he was about to be both fired and murderd as he followed the blonde down the ladder and up the short walk to the estate’s large central mansion. They’d likely have to buy a new carpet for her office, he thought morbidly that even Gerda the head maid would be unable to remove his blood from it.
***
Elsa was far too quiet for Kristoff’s taste as she sat on the opposite side of a large oak desk from him. He felt too large in the small wooden chair she’d gestured for him to take a seat in and simultaneously far smaller than he actually was once she looked upon him. She, for her part, filled the space of her high-backed chair gracefully. He wondered if even Queen Victoria could look as fierce as Elsa could. He sincerely doubted it, even the sovereign herself would likely defer to Elsa’s judgement if she were levelled a cold glare like the one he was on the receiving end of. A royal pardon wouldn’t even save him now.
“No need to waste time,” she said leaning forward and seeming somehow larger to him than he was, “I have a decision to make here Mr. Bjorgman but first I need to ask you a few questions. You will answer me honestly. I have a keen sense of when I’m being lied to, and as you might recall I already know your tells. You will be truthful or you will not like what happens.”
She didn’t wait for his agreement. He knew that she knew that she didn’t need to. She had given him no other option and he thought once again about the beautiful oriental rug beneath them and how impossible it would be to clean of blood.
“What are your intentions with my sister?”
He swallowed, and he felt his mouth go entirely dry. Straight and to the point but phrased politely. It was Elsa to a t and he recalled a similar interrogation by her when he’d taken a cookie from her when they were children. He’d thought she was going to kill him then as well.
“I’m not certain I’m in the place to have any intentions at all Your Grace.”
She smirked at that and he almost relaxed. Almost.
“Let me be more clear,” she said staring through him, “Would you, or would you not like to marry Lady Anna Arendelle?”
He cleared his throat to cover the sound of shock that he felt himself making as she asked him such a serious question with a terrifyingly straight face.
“I… pardon me… I don’t know how to respond…”
She shot him a sharp look and reminded him in a single word exactly how he should be answering.
“Honestly.”
He maintained eye contact with her although he wanted to do nothing more than look away. He wouldn’t disrespect her so.
“Despite its impossibility I would like nothing more.”
She nodded gravely.
“She has no dowry; would that change your mind?”
It made little sense to him, but he shook his head.
“No. My interest in her isn’t and has never been financially tied.”
“Would you stay with her if I chose not to name her my heir?”
“Yes. Titles mean little to me…” he trailed off and then added, “Except for yours My Grace.”
Elsa smirked again, “You give pretty answers Mr. Bjorgman, but before we finish our business here I have one last question. Do you love her?”
He didn’t think. He didn’t skip a beat. If Elsa wanted the truth from him, she would receive it.
“Irrevocably.”
“I’d like to hear you say it.”
He nodded. If she was going to fire him for the truth, he may as well state it outright.
“I am, always have been, always will be in love with Lady Anna Arendelle.”
There was no smirk this time, but instead a very full smile that Kristoff had not seen appear on the woman’s face in quite some time. It was the sort of smile she’d had as a child when she’d snuck cookies out of the kitchen in her pinafore and was about to turn out her pockets to share. It was the smile of “I know something you don’t know” mixed with the sheer glee of someone about to see another get a gift.
“Well then, I’d like it very much if you both continued to stay here, but the summer home may be more to your liking should you like to run a household of your own. There’s money to be made on wheat, but the Americans will likely outpace us on it soon and I believe you’d do well to hire a few tenant shepherds as you truly can’t beat wool, it’s always profitable. Most of the nobles don’t care for it because it requires a bit of knowledge about animals but given your work thus far I doubt you’d have a rough go of it. You should have more than enough assets to get that going, not to mention that there’s a quite nice sum that comes in every couple months from the trading house. Really Anna’s been educated in most of this so she’ll get you both settled and she’ll take the maids with her. I’m sure Bulda and Cliff wouldn’t mind coming out of retirement to help you figure out the specifics with the land…”
She trailed off, realizing how lost he looked.
“Seems as though I’m lost you? It is a lot to take in at once, but like I said Anna will be happy to take charge, put all those lessons to good use.”
“I’m sorry Duchess Arendelle, but I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Elsa snorted as she laughed and Kristoff was subject to a rather sharp case of emotional whiplash when she spoke through her laughter.
“Oh Kristoff if I’m going to be your sister-in-law you’ll have to start calling me Elsa again.”
“Sister-in… Elsa? What do you…?”
When he finally saw the light, he jumped from his seat.
“Surely you can’t be serious… I’m hardly suitable…”
Elsa, still gleeful, narrowed her eyes.
“Surely you know that I could care less about what the aristocracy finds ‘suitable’ for my family. Kristoff Bjorgman you are the most suitable man I could ever imagine for my sister. You dote on her terribly, listening to her long-winded stories, using your pay to buy her chocolates that you pretend aren’t from you but everyone knows, and you spent hours braiding matching ribbons into Sven’s mane on the first day she was able to ride in green again at the end of our mourning. You have a good head on your shoulders, you work hard and most importantly you love her. You have my permission.”
“If you already had your mind made up, why did you ask me those questions?”
She gave another wicked grin, “Beyond just enjoying teasing you like I did when we were children, I had to be sure and there’s going to be someone who complains and people talk so I needed to be able to say that I interrogated you and you’re not just after our money…”
“Ah! About that, I thought you said Anna doesn’t have a dowry, why are you talking about sheep and houses?”
Elsa waved him off, “Well technically she doesn’t. My parents were going to worry about such business when she turned sixteen and when they passed it just never got done. Given I fully intend on Anna being named my heir and my disinterest in society, I doubt I’ll ever marry and so rather than mess about with the figuring of it all I’ve determined it’s best if she have my dowry.”
He nodded, understanding now, but still entirely in shock.
“I’ve also taken the liberty of having one of my grandmother’s rings sized for my sister. I think betrothal rings are a bit silly, but it should please Anna,” she said handing him a box. “Additionally, if you plan to ask her to marry you today it may as well be now as she’s undoubtedly listening through the door like a child.”
A stomp came from the ceiling above them and Elsa chuckled to herself, “Or perhaps through the floor above. I forget her bedroom is directly over the study.”
***
Kristoff slipped the ring onto her left ring finger and kissed the back of her hand.
He grinned as Anna flushed. While she had been the one who had more faith in their ability to wed, she seemed just as blown away as he was in the moment. He’d had a bit more processing time and was already thinking of what this all meant for them. He was to select a new stablemaster soon and while they would be living with Elsa in Fjordside Manor he’d soon be planning for a herd of sheep to be delivered to North Mountain House, the family summer home that would soon be his and Anna’s. It made little sense to him that he would so suddenly find himself thinking about a household but having Anna at his side told him that there was no place he’d rather be.
“Now that you’re going to marry me,” Anna said softly, walking into his awaiting arms for an embrace, “Do you love me?”
He pulled her in close and kissed her forehead.
“That’s an unfair question,” he teased, feeling odd that the same conversation had taken place under very different circumstances just hours before.
“Kristoff Bjorgman!” she scolded, but there was no real bite to it. He ducked down to steal a kiss and she softened immediately to his kiss.
“I love you my Anna.”
She smiled and pressed another kiss to his lips, “And I you my Kristoff.”
He kissed her fully, not caring if anyone saw, considering himself the luckiest man who ever lived.
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SLOW BURN: A KRISTANNA MULTI-CHAPTER FANFIC
BONUS CHAPTER 4
December 23, 2023 Arendelle, Ohio
Anna and Kristoff sat in the waiting room of the children's hospital, anxiously waiting to hear about the results of the emergency appendectomy surgery that their five year old daughter Kristianna had to go through. While Kristoff had been working as sergeant of the Arendelle Police, Anna had rushed Kristianna to the hospital then called Kristoff, who'd rushed to the hospital after dropping Joseff, Erik and Thora off with Jane and Elsa. The pediatrician, Dr. Wilbur Dorffman, came out. Anna and Kristoff stood, anxious looks on their faces.
"Dr. Dorffman," Anna asked. "How's Kristianna?" Dr. Dorffman looked at Anna and Kristoff. "Sergeant and Mrs. Bjorgman," Dr. Dorffman said. "Kristianna's surgery went quite well. We have removed her appendix just in time. She's in recovery but she's very upset. I'm thinking she needs you both." "How long will she have to stay in the hospital," Kristoff asked. "A week so she can fully recover," Dr. Dorffman said. He soon left and they went to check on their daughter.
Kristianna lay in her small hospital bed, dressed in her gown, her room decorated with teddy bears. She was awake but very sad. Anna and Kristoff went to her bed. "Mommy, Daddy," Kristianna said, tears welling up in her soft brown eyes, her long strawberry hair messy. "The doctor fixed my tummy but said I'd have to be here for awhile." "Yes, princess," Kristoff said, taking her small hand in his large one. "The doctor told us." "I can't stay here!" "Why not, honey," Anna asked, taking her other hand in hers. "Christmas is in two days! Santa will never find me in the hospital! I've been so good this year! Please, Mommy and Daddy?! I wanna go home!" She began to cry. Anna and Kristoff looked at each other, then at Kristianna. "Honey," Anna said gently. "Santa can find you. You won't miss Christmas." "Exactly, princess," Kristoff added. "In fact, we'll talk to Santa and tell him you're here getting better." "You will," Kristianna asked. "Yes," her parents said together. She visibly relaxed then fell asleep.
Later on, Kristoff and Anna went to the hospital's cafeteria for food. They decided to spend the night with Kristianna. As they ate sandwiches and chips, drinking Cokes, Kristoff looked at Anna. She had the look of one who had an idea. "Feistypants," he asked. "What's on your mind?" "Krissy, I hate seeing any of our babies upset," she replied. "We'll bring Santa to her." "How do you plan on doing that?" She smiled. "Easy. Hurry up and finish. We've got work to do." "Yes, dear." They ate then left the hospital to put Anna's idea into motion.
Anna's idea was for her to dress up as Mrs. Claus, have Kristoff dress as Santa, get a tiny tree for Kristianna's hospital room, get a stocking filled with candy and let her open two gifts there then the rest when she got home. He decided to just "roll with it," not wanting to see his daughter unhappy, especially since she's just had an appendectomy. After trips to Wal-Mart, Target and Party City, the next day being Christmas Eve when they shopped, they went back to the hospital. They worked quickly, getting her room ready as she slept. They left the room and used the family bathroom down the hall to put their costumes on. Anna tied a pillow around Kristoff's waist to make him look big bellied. They put on wigs and Kristoff had a fake, long white beard. Soon, they were ready.
"How do I look," Kristoff asked. "Like Santa," Anna said. "You look like a hot Mrs. Claus." "Thanks." They kissed each other softly on the lips. "Let's go spread some Christmas cheer to our five year old." "I'm ready." They went to Kristianna's hospital room. "Ho, ho, ho," Kristoff said, acting like the jolly old elf himself. "Merry Christmas, Kristianna Lagertha Bjorgman!" Kristianna opened her eyes, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw Santa and Mrs. Claus there, her room having a brightly lit small Christmas tree, a pink stocking and two brightly wrapped gifts. She gingerly sat up. "Santa! Mrs. Claus," she said excitedly. "You came! You found me!"
"Yes, dear," Anna said, acting like the wife of a jolly old elf. "Your mommy and daddy told us that you were very sick, which is sad to happen on Christmas Eve, so we left you your other presents with them for you to open when you go home but brought you some here." Kristoff handed Kristianna her two presents as Anna handed Kristianna her stocking. The stocking contained Disney stickers, her favorite candies and a Dr. Pepper flavored LipSmacker. The first gift she'd opened was a Snow White princess doll. The second gift was a fluffy plush pink unicorn. She hugged the unicorn. She smiled. "Thanks, Santa and Mrs. Claus," she said. They hugged the little girl. "You're welcome," they said. "Get better and Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." They left, happy to see Kristianna so happy. They changed, then went back to her room.
"Kristi," Anna asked. "Where'd you get the tree, stocking and gifts?" "Mommy, Daddy," Kristianna said. "Santa and Mrs. Claus! They came to see me! Thank you for helping Santa to find me!" "You're welcome, princess," Kristoff said. They sat and listened to how happy their child was, happy that they were able to make her Christmas at the children's hospital as happy as it could be.
THE END...FOR NOW...
#kristanna#fanfic#frozen#slowburn#slowburnbonuschapter4#modern au#kristannasecretsanta2018#merry Christmas edin
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OK! With the help of my associate @karis-the-fangirl, all the messages for the Secret Santa are now sent out! If you were expecting one and you don’t have one, let me know, but otherwise we should be good to go!
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Hindsight
Happy Holidays @frenzy5150! I’m your secret Santa! Two years in a row now! Since you are all around awesome and you also just celebrated a birthday, I decided to do something a little different. First you get a two parter- one for your bday and one for Christmas. Second, I went out on a limb a bit and went a different direction than I’m used to. This is kind of sorta inspired by a show I watched with the same name maybe five years ago. I hope you like it! Part 2 will be up later in the week.
Part 2 HERE
Modern AU
Rating: T
Words: 4600
If you could go back and change one thing about your life, one decision, one answer, one mistake, what would you do? Knowing everything you know now, would you make the same choice and somehow get it right this time? Or would you start over?
The question was at the tip of her conscience as she flipped through the pages. She looked so happy. They both did. Her wedding. Her first one. With the exception of her sister, no one would have guessed on that day how her marriage would implode on itself. You married the wrong person, she thought to herself.
Almost twenty years later, Anna still thought about that day. Her first husband, Harry, and she had been so in love. Or that’s what she had told herself. They were definitely crazy. …and impulsive. And so stupid!
Anna closed the album with a sigh and walked over to the closet to tuck it safely on the shelf. The best place for it now, she decided, was under other stacks of photo albums and scrapbooks she had collected over the first twenty years of her life when she had occupied this room. She never brought them with her when she moved out. All the digital files were with her, but she had still wanted to print them all out. There was something permanent with pictures in a book. Maybe she was old fashioned, but she preferred to look at them this way. With the exception of one wedding album that joined the stack a long time ago, none of them ever left. Anna preferred the nostalgia of being able to sneak in every so often and steal a glimpse of her past.
The layers of photos and books heaved as she tried to lift up the bottom. Anna rammed the album in only for the entire pile to shift to the right and begin to tip. If it hadn’t been for the box of books stored next to them, the entire thing would have come down on top of her. The albums came to an abrupt stop, sending several pictures fluttering down to the floor.
She quickly picked them up and went to stuff them back in one of the pages. But something stopped her when she glanced at the photos. Those eyes were staring back at her. Young and hopeful and without the sadness they carried the last time she had looked into them. She slowly flipped through the others. They were all pictures of the summer she spent that summer at her parent’s lake house and it was her favorite memory.
There were two of her and Elsa. Both smiling and making faces at the camera. It was easy to forget over the years how close they had once been. The rest were of friends including another picture she stopped to look at again of the one she considered her best for a very long time. That was the first summer they met and she thought they would be in each other’s lives forever. Incredible how she was wrong about so many things.
“God, I miss you,” she said, running a finger over the photograph.
A spark touched heart for a brief moment before the knock on the door made her jump.
“Anna? We were supposed to leave ten minutes ago.” The door opened as Andrew popped his head in. “Everything okay?”
Anna twisted on the bed and offered a smile. “Yes. Yes! Good. I had a little fight with the closet, but its fine!”
He walked into the room and offered his hand to Anna. “Good. I was beginning to think my fiancée was getting cold feet.”
“Don’t be silly!” Anna wrapped her arms around Andrew. She felt him pull her closer for a moment. Then one arm let go of her as he fumbled in his pocket. When she looked up at him, he had a ridiculous grin on his face.
“What is that?”
“Mistletoe.”
“I know what it is, but why do you have it?”
“Because you and I both know that tonight is going to be crazy and I want one kiss with you alone with no party and no people.”
Anna smiled and reached up to kiss his cheek. “Hold on to that until after the party. I’ve kept us too late already.”
“But I won’t see you after the party.”
“Then we’ll have to find a few minutes to sneak out of it.”
She walked past him and down the hall to the front door. Andrew quickly caught up to her, grabbing her coat and helping Anna into it.
“Are you sure you’re up for this. An engagement and Christmas party all rolled into one?”
“Of course. We are getting married and everyone is in town and its Christmas. What better excuse do we need to host a party?” She winked at him and reached for the door to head out.
----
Okay, you can do this. Just get a drink in your body before you talk to your sister.
Anna strode through the room, keeping ahead of Andrew, smiling and waving to the guests. She found the closest bar and ordered a glass of champagne.
“There’s the blushing bride.”
Anna spun on her heels, setting a pleasant look on her face. “Hi Elsa.”
They gave each other a quick hug, one that would never happen if they were not in the public eye. Elsa gave Anna a once over, not hiding that she was checking to see if Anna was dressed appropriately.
“You look worried.”
“Elsa.”
“Okay, You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. And you look beautifier. Beautiful, I mean. As always.”
Elsa nodded, then turned her gaze to the crowd of people. “Thank you for agreeing to this. Since I couldn’t convince you to pick a more sensible time after the holidays for your engagement party, I think this is the best compromise. I will admit it makes it easier to host the Christmas party and Andrew’s parents run in the same social circles, so co-hosting with them makes sense.”
Anna held in the intense desire to roll her eyes. “That and it’s one less function you have to attend now.”
“An added benefit, yes.”
“Wouldn’t want to make you look bad.”
“That hasn’t seemed to bother you in the last twenty years.”
“Can we not get into that? I just want tonight to go smoothly.”
“Relax. You’ll be fine. You’ve done this before, you know.”
Elsa glided away, greeting a valuable client with her usual diplomacy.
Anna couldn’t resist. She cupped her hand to her mouth and yelled out. “I love you too, Els! Merry Christmas!”
She turned back to the bar and downed her glass. By the time her second was in her hand, Andrew had whisked her away to make the rounds to all the guests. The evening began to blur. Anna found nodding along with Andrew instead of engaging in conversation an easier path for the night. It didn’t help that questions from her boss kept scrolling in and she had to excuse herself to answer them.
“Where do you keep going?” Andrew asked as they walked together during a brief moment alone. Anna could hear the tint of annoyance in his voice.
“It’s Simon. I have to keep helping him for a meeting prep he has tomorrow.”
“You work too much.”
“What else am I supposed to do?’
Andrew sighed and turned to Anna. “Maybe one of these days, you should put your tail between your legs and talk to your sister about working at the company you are partial owner in.”
“That’s never going to happen.”
He smiled that exasperated smile at her. It hit her how genuine he was. How much he loved her. Andrew was the opposite of her first husband in every way. He was sweet, kind, responsible, had a job. But did he set Anna on fire?
She was warm. That had to count for something.
By the time the toasts began, Anna could barely hide the look of despair as her body fought the duel urge to run and stay. You look worried. There was no hiding the truth from Elsa. She had noticed it instantly. Doubt crept into Anna’s thoughts. Was she making the right choice or was this about to be another bad decision in the string of ones that defined her life? Anna yearned for a trusted shoulder to lean on right now. But she didn’t have her sister to talk to and she hadn’t spoken to her best friend in years.
She made it to the bathroom and was able to hide in a stall before full panic took over. This whole engagement was a mistake. It was screaming at her. It was the same warning that she missed before her first marriage. Just get through the holidays. You can deal with it then. Tonight you need to stay calm. Anna took a deep breath, but before she could move, she heard two people walk in.
“You must be so relieved she’s finally settling down. She could probably still have a baby if she froze her eggs.”
It was her cousin. Anna had never gotten along with her and she seethed at hearing her voice.
“Let’s hope this one sticks. Anna’s always been. You know, a little flighty,” Elsa replied
Anna’s mouth dropped at hearing her sister. She had to clamp her hand over her mouth to stop the squeak from leaving her mouth. She peered through the slats in the door to get a view.
“Anna’s been successful in other areas of her life. She does well with her career.”
“Please, she’s a glorified secretary.” Anna’s hand came up to her heart at the harshness of Elsa’s words. “I always thought she’d have a bigger life. You know, do something extraordinary. Or at least something that made her happy. She’s so talented, but she was consumed by that husband… then the job.”
“Anna made her choices. Bad ones, yes. We both told her that her priorities were out of whack. So her first marriage was a disaster. Sometimes it’s better to let people do what they need to do so they can work it out themselves. We’re here now and she’s finally settling down with a nice man.”
“You’re right. I’ve just been worried about her for so long. I won’t dwell on the past. I’ll… I’ll try to be happy for her now.”
The women finished up and headed out. Anna’s cousin spoke again. “Who knows? Maybe Anna will come to her senses and apologize to you and come to work at the company where she belongs. Where family should be.”
The door closed and Anna let it out, punching her fists in the air as hard as she could. Elsa, please see through her bullshit. She’s just trying to get her husband a position at the company. The room was silent and Anna was left with her thoughts of Elsa’s words. It wasn’t a surprise to hear, but they tore at her still.
Anna slipped out of the bathroom and away from the party until she found herself in the front lobby. She needed to talk to someone. But not just anyone. She needed one person that would listen to her, understand and not judge her. She longed for his comfort and how he could pick up her spirits when it seemed the world was collapsing around her. But she had ruined that as well and it cut her down more than anything.
A flash caught her eye, making Anna look up. In the lobby, was a grand Christmas tree all decked out in the finest decorations. Ornaments and garland glittered all the way to the top where it was fitted with a gorgeous star. It took her a second to notice the two girls who were working the party in front of her admiring the tree.
One of them caught her staring at her and elbowed the other. “We’re sorry ma’am.”
Anna shook her head. “Don’t mind me.” She looked back up at the tree. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Both girls smiled back at her. “It’s our last night working before Christmas. We had to get our wishes in.”
Anna tilted her head at them. The other girl added before she could ask. “Some of these decorations from the tree are original to when this hall opened. I don’t know which ones besides the star. But there’s a story that if you make a wish to the star, it will be granted.”
“It doesn’t hurt to try, right?” The other girl added.
The corners of Anna’s mouth turned up. “No. No it doesn’t at all.”
The girls excused themselves. Anna went to go back to the party, but she couldn’t keep her eyes off the tree. “I know what my wish it would be.” She took one last wistful look at it and went back into the party to find Elsa to tell her she was leaving.
It took a few minutes of searching and ducking out of small talk with people to find Elsa. They may have not be close anymore, but Anna was still aware of Elsa’s tricks and hiding spots. After a few tries at more obvious locations, Anna spotted Elsa off in a side room with a bar. It was secluded enough that most of the people didn’t use it and exactly why Elsa requested it stay open every party.
She was half way in the room before she noticed who Elsa was with. She froze in place, unable to move. Her sister sensed her, looked her way while tapping the arm of the person seated next to her. Elsa slipped off her stool and walked towards Anna. For a fleeting moment, her face was soft and she paused to place her hand on Anna’s shoulder.
“Go talk to him,” she whispered. “I’ll cover for you.”
It took some convincing for her feet to move. Anna finally took a hesitant step closer. Then another. And another. He had already turned back to the bar and she watched him take a long draught of his beer. Her hand gripped the back of the stool next to him. She noticed the two other empty bottles sitting off to the side.
“Is…is this seat taken?”
Kristoff huffed and a slight smile brushed over his lips. He glanced at her before looking straight ahead, pulling another swig of his beer.
“It’s your party. I think you can sit wherever you want.”
It probably was the best invitation she would get. She stepped up to the stool, keeping both legs facing him. “It’s really Elsa’s party, we both know that.”
“She’s not here to kick you out the seat, so I guess it’s yours for now.”
The both chuckled, Kristoff stole another glance at her holding her eyes to him. He had aged well, despite everything he had been through. He was smaller than she always remembered him, his hair was short, with just a hint of grey at the temples. It fit him, but Anna missed that mop of hair that she always had to fuss with and yell at him to remember to cut. “Kristoff.” She reached up and stroked his cheek. When he didn’t jump back from her touch, she dared ever so softly to place her hand on top of his that was resting on the bar. She could feel her heart start to race, a surge of energy running through her body. “What are you doing here?”
“I was invited, remember.”
There it was. That grin. Suddenly he was twenty-one again and not a day had passed between them.
Anna arched an eyebrow, grinning back. “You’ve been invited to at least the last ten. You’ve never showed up before.”
He shrugged and turned to the bar again. The break in contact, felt like losing him all over. Anna pulled her hand close, her fingers still tingling where they had touched him.
“I was in town. Didn’t have anything else to do. I figured there’d be free food and drinks.”
“Okay Bjorgman. Whatever you say. You sure that’s the only reason?” She bumped her shoulder to his, hoping to keep the mood light.
He didn’t look at her, keeping his beer close to his lips. “Kind of wanted to check in on you, too.”
“And hiding in another room is how you do that?”
“No. I saw you earlier. You were busy talking to…everyone. I decided to hold back and see if I could find you later.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
They fell into an easy rhythm. Anna told Kristoff everything that popped into her head. She talked about work and how busy she was, ignoring the messages from her boss. She talked without a filter and she couldn’t remember how long it had been when she didn’t have to reign in everything she wanted to say.
Kristoff was listening to her and it felt so good to feel significant to someone. He shifted in his seat as if he was studying her.
“Anna, are you okay?”
“What? Of course I am! I’m wonderful. It’s Christmas and I’m getting married.”
“But are you happy?”
“Why do you think I’m not happy?”
“I don’t know. You just seem… not like yourself.”
Anna stiffened at that. “You haven’t seen me in over ten years. You don’t know who I am.”
“I know when something isn’t right with you. That hasn’t changed. I can see right through you. What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine.” Anna crossed her arms.
“No you’re not.”
“Kristoff, I told you-“
“It’s because you’re about to marry a guy you don’t love and you are absolutely miserable, isn’t it?”
“No!”
He squinted his eyes, leaning closer. “Yeah, that’s it. About to make the same mistake again. Did you not learn anything from your first marriage?”
“How dare you!”
“How dare I what? Call you out on your bullshit? Can’t handle hearing the truth, princess?”
“Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me that anymore.” Anna turned away from him, but she couldn’t stop herself from glaring back at him. When she moved, he looked so smug and satisfied that she saw red.
“Who do you think you are anyway? Waltzing in here after years! What? Did you find out I was engaged and you had to run over here just to try to rub in all my misery? Poke at all my weak spots. Make me feel worse than I already do? Well you did! Are you happy? Why do you care? We aren’t even friends anymore!”
“You made sure of that, didn’t you?”
“You don’t think I don’t feel horrible about that? I do every day, Kristoff! I hate that I wasn’t there for you and that I wouldn’t listen… and… I miss you every day. But you stopped talking to me! And you can’t come here and tell me I’m not happy when you don’t know me anymore.”
“I know you better than you know yourself! Look, forget it. This is pointless. I shouldn’t have come here tonight.” He pulled out his wallet to fish for a tip.
“Kristoff, why did you come here tonight?”
“Why did you invite me?”
They stared each other down. Anna gnawed at her bottom lip unable to take it anymore. “I asked you first.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she struggled to stay in control.
Kristoff sighed. “Because I didn’t try to stop you before.”
“You did. I wouldn’t listen.”
“Look, Anna. You’re right. I don’t know what’s wrong other than you are not happy. I had to come see for myself. And I see you and you have the same look on your face that you did before. I didn’t try to stop you the way I should have last time. I wasn’t honest with you and it wasn’t fair to you. I thought if I showed up this time…that…”
“What?”
He shook his head and laughed to himself. “I never could tell you to no. Ever. No matter what crazy idea got in your head. Even when I watched you marry someone you didn’t love. I couldn’t stand the thought of causing you pain. But I should have then. Or at least I should have figured out when to walk away.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because there never was a time when I wasn’t in love with you.” Kristoff fumbled for something at his legs. “I have to go. I’m sorry Anna. I shouldn’t have come. Forget I was here.”
Anna sat frozen in her chair. She watched as Kristoff carefully slid off the stool and take a measured step with the cane. The memory of his accident flashed in front of her. The doctors said he was lucky to even be alive. Then the guilt washed over her. She hadn’t been there for him. Too wrapped up with Harry to be the friend he needed the most.
He got to the entrance of the room before what he had said sunk in and Anna could move again. She hopped off the stool. “Kristoff… I invited you all these years because it kept the door open the tiniest bit. It was all I had, but there was always hope that I would see you again.”
“I know.” He stopped and dropped his head. “Do not pursue the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. The past no longer is. The future has not come. Look deeply at life as it is.”
“What? Kris, I don’t understand. Please, just stay-“
He looked at her once more and smiled. But it was distant and he took another step away. “It’s a Buddhist Proverb. One of my therapists told it to me when I was rehabbing. I used it as a mantra to help me keep going when I thought the pain was too much. I never forgot it.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Your past doesn’t define you, Anna. You can make your future what you want it to be. Remember that. Please.”
“Kris. No.”
“I have to go. Don’t invite me again. Goodbye, Anna. Merry Christmas.”
He disappeared into the crowd in the main room. An ache shot directly into Anna’s heart. She couldn’t breathe, choking on the air as tears streamed down her cheek. He was gone and this time it was for good. It was as if a part of her had been ripped off. She couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.
She caught her breath, her mind racing. No, this wasn’t going to be how this ended. Not this time. Not when she finally understood what she had been wanting all along.
“Kristoff! Wait!”
Anna darted through the crowd, trying not to look too desperate as she wove through the people and headed towards the lobby. She had to be able to catch up with him. She pushed out the main doors, and past the tree she had stood in front. A reflection from the lights hit her in the eyes, making her wince. He wasn’t there. Anna hoped she could catch up to him before he got any further.
“Kristoff!”
Anna yelled as she raced down the stairs and onto the sidewalk.
“Kristoff wait! Please! Where are you?”
She ran into the streets, checking in all directions, looking into the vehicles before they could move from the light.
“Kristoff!”
But he was gone. It was as if he vanished right in front of her. Anna threw her head back in defeat looking to night sky. She was too late.
A snowflake hit her eye. Anna flinched and stumbled backwards. When she caught her balance, she looked around and saw that it had started snowing. She loved the snow. It should have felt magical, but all she wanted to do was get to her bed and sleep for a week.
She trudged back to the venue. Somewhere inside was her coat. She needed to find that before she figured out how to get home, all the while trying to avoid Andrew and her noted absence. Anna was going through scenarios of how to sneak in and back out when she found herself in front of the tree. She slowly followed the layers of ornaments up to the star as the rage and sorrow from the night built.
“Wishing tree my ass.” She let out of woeful laugh. “How many people have come here over the years? What do they ask for? Money, I bet. Or their health. Or love.” Anna waved her hand dismissively. “For what? All because someone came up with some ridiculous story who knows how long ago to draw in customers.” She stared up at the tree again. “How many people have you let down? Christmas wishes… You know what wishes solve? Nothing! You’re still poor, or sick or lonely, or… or…” She stopped to wipe away the tears. “You know what my wish would be? To fix this! To fix me! Make this night never happen this way! But you can’t because you’re a stupid tree! A stupid, dumb, plain ole, non-wishing tree!”
Anna stepped back. She could feel a headache coming on. “What’s wrong with me? Now I’m talking to the tree,” she mumbled.
Her headache quickly morphed into a dizzy spell. Anna held onto the wall waiting for it to pass. Her eyes caught the lights of the tree. They were blinking. Had she not noticed that before? The room started spinning. Then it got faster. Anna went to call for help but couldn’t make a sound. She lost her grip on the wall, stumbling forward, passing out before her body slammed to the floor.
----
The beeps were faint but steady. Anna groaned at the sound. She turned, not fully awake yet. That noise? Where was it coming from?
“It’s Saturday,” she drawled out. “Alarm off.” The sound didn’t stop. “Snooze.” No change. “Disconnect! Off! Stop!”
Anna sat straight up. Great, the sensor on this thing was going to have to be fixed again. She didn’t even want to know how much that was going to cost. She stretched, waking up more… Wait. That sound was different. It was farther away, muffled almost. She scrambled around. The sound was coming from her bed. No, from in her bed, under the blankets. Anna threw them off, searching until her hand felt something hard, like metal.
“Ah ha!”
Anna’s hand flew up in triumph with the offending source of the noise. She brought it down closer and stopped. “How much did I have to drink last night?”
She turned the device around and stared at the phone. Her finger reflexively swiped at the screen setting the alarm to off. “I didn’t know I still had this. …or why.” But it was hers she remembered that case that was designed to handle being dropped. Lord knows she dropped it enough times. It was a wonder the phone even turned on.
Anna laid back down. She was going to have to find Andrew and talk to him. First to find out what happened; a huge part of the night was a blur and then… nothing. She remembered going to find Elsa, but after that was blank. But more importantly talk about them. She couldn’t mask over her feelings anymore.
She ran her hand through her hair and stopped. “What?” She pulled a handful forward to look at. “H-how?” It was long. Last night it was,pulled back and short. Her hair didn’t go past her shoulders. The last time her hair was this long, she was…
Anna’s mouth dropped as she looked around. This wasn’t her old home. It wasn’t even her current place. It was… it was…
She hadn’t noticed the TV was on, but her head flicked to the screen as the morning news came on.
We are officially entering the Christmas season here folks. Welcome channel seven news for Saturday, November 24th 2018. Your home for all traffic weather and…
Anna bolted straight up.
“Wait, what? Did he just say 2018?!”
#kristannasecretsanta2018#Hindsight#kristanna#Edin what did you write#anna#ngl I am nervous about this one#if they seem ooc there is reason#and to clarify 2018 is the past in this fic
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HELLO HELLOOO!! Tis me, your secret santa 🎅🏽 i am here to collect your christmas KA wishlist and make it come true 👀📝
Hi there Santa!
My wishlist is literally anything and everything. If you write I’d love something smutty or fluffy. I like a good old fashioned “boy next door” modern AU if you aren’t feeling in the canon mood. If you’re down for canon-verse I’m a big fan of literally rolling in the hay or cabin/ sled snuggles. If you draw, I’d love to see some art for your favorite fic or just some cuteness of our babies being dorks.
Honestly if you have anything in mind at all that you’ve been wanting to work on, the next chapter in a fic you’ve been working on or kind of anything at all I’ll be thrilled as all get out. Like there’s literally nothing I wouldn’t be happy with, I trust your judgement and I’m excited to see what you come up with!
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@kristanna !!!
I am your extremely late secret Santa! 😿 Merry Kristannamas and I will wish you a Happy New year too ❤
I thought to create a fluffy kristanna kiss in a wintery setting. I can imagine them attending a christmas party and not being able to resist the mistletoe 😍
❄❄❄❄❄
I look up to you as an artist on Tumblr hugely, given your popularity on my feed and your subject art. When I saw you as my gift recipient I knew I had to produce something that you were worthy of. Not being proud of something you make is a hard reality of any aspiring artist, but knowing that you deserve so much better from a gift saddened me deeply. I do hope you like it, but I know it is not to the standard a gift should be. Sorry for the lateness but thankyou for allowing me to take part in this charming activity ❤❤❤ much love x
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Celestial
For @fericita-s
I am your Secret Santa.
***
The mountains are tall and high, but Kristoff knew the secret ways through them. And so, when he took Anna up to the Valley of the Living Rock on that cool December night, he showed her all the places unknown to Man – the hidden and forgotten places, the places known only to trolls who burrow through the earth…
He guided her through caverns measureless and vast. In another’s company, she might have felt afraid – but she felt the warm press of his great hand in hers and took heart.
He would not let her come to harm.
She felt the tenderness in his hand, even beneath his thick gloves.
That tenderness and warmth flowed from him into her, blooming in her like the warmth of a mountain spring.
He showed underground springs to her, their waters luminous and blue as starlight there in the heart of the earth.
Crystals glowed there – some green as emerald, some blue like the shimmering water, some red as burning coal.
He knew deep places of the earth that blazed like rainbows and he shared them all with her.
In the gleaming light, they saw histories painted on the rock – troll histories in tapestries of stone. Anna gasped and marveled, for not even the finest paintings she had chatted with in youth held such an enthralling power.
The glistening patterns of paint glided along like the unending stretch of the sea, preserving stories in reaches no humans could discover…
No humans but these two…
Anna was awed and humbled.
“Thank you, Kristoff,” she murmured. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
He smiled. “Thought we’d take the below-ground scenic route… Mum used to take me to these caverns to play. But we haven’t even gotten to the best part. Come on, the party is just beginning!”
He drew her on. At last they came to a crack in the mountainside, through which Anna saw flashes of color more vibrant than the glow of crystals. Kristoff pulled her into the light and, for a moment, she was almost blinded by the splendor of the aurora borealis.
It was as though the sky itself had caught fire and yet it was a fire unlike any upon the earth. For its flames were green as well as golden, were blue and rich purple and tinged with silver that intertwined with the shining greens and the yellows more haunting than the sun… It was as though some god had spread his great cloak over the world, bathing its people in divine luminescence. The wine-dark violet of the sky only made the lights burn more brightly. Their hues swirled and dovetailed with the hues of the heavens. In the aurora, Anna saw the inspiration for the murals she had seen down below. She saw how the swirls of paint matched the whirling brilliance of the Northern Lights, how the trolls paid homage to such celestial beauty.
She felt a great rush of appreciation for troll culture and squeezed Kristoff’s hand.
He was smiling and she was glad to see him smiling, so happy and proud of his family and their traditions…
The trolls themselves were below the lights, dancing and rolling and rolling and dancing so that the earth trembled with their raucous delight. In the center of their festivities was a great likeness of Flemmy the Fungus Troll, nostrils already well-stuffed with tufts of grass. Kristoff swept Anna into the celebration, all the trolls overjoyed to see them both. A gaggle of troll children flooded around them and Anna beamed down at them. Bulda embraced her son.
“Oh, my dear boy!” she cried. “Let me hug you! And Anna too! Anna, you really should try the Flemmy stew! Come, let me share some with you!”
She spoke with the purest and most sincere excitement, tugging Anna over to a great cauldron of stew and handing her a ladle. Anna spooned some stew into a bowl and tasted it. Really, it was quite good! She thanked the sweet troll mother graciously.
The crowd of children kept flocking around Kristoff’s legs, imploring him to add his voice to the chorus singing the Ballad of Flemmingrad. He delightedly obliged with passion and flourish. And when the ballad was done, he took Anna by the hand once more and spun her around the Valley of the Living Rock. How they danced, caught up in the thunderous energy of dozens of trolls! Their dance was like the spectacle above their heads – boisterous and glorious, with dips and dives and twirls that mirrored the kaleidoscope of lights in the overhanging firmament.
Kristoff gathered Anna into his arms and kissed her, kissed her with a passion that burned more brightly than the aurora.
They continued their dance in the magical light, snowflakes glinting in a rainbow of colors around them…
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Kristanna Secret Santa 2018
I’m now taking sign-ups for the Kristanna Secret Santa, 2018! @karis-the-fangirl will be helping me again this year so big thanks to her. :)
If you would like to join in, please send me either an ask or a PM with your name and any preferences etc before Monday 26th November. If there is anyone you specifically don’t want to be paired with, just let me know. I will make the pairings at random and send out who you are making a gift for by Friday 30th November. Gifts can be fic, art, edits, moodboards, anything you like! Just please don’t sign up unless you are genuinely willing to commit to making a gift; it’s really unfair on everyone else when people don’t follow through.
Exchange of gifts will take place the week commencing Monday 17th December. You can either post your gift on your own blog and tag the recipient or submit it to them directly, either is fine! Please try and have everything posted or submitted by Friday 22nd of December. If, after joining, you realise this is going to be a problem, please let me know ASAP.
Tag everything #kristannasecretsanta2018 and I will share them all on @kristannaweek for all to see! Thanks guys!
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