#kristen applebees simulacrum

[not-quite-so-intrepid-hero]

I love how British Kristen’s art really captured the Horny™️

[kenniex2]

quick shoutout to british kristen white girl twerking on these hoes

[ivyembracertifiedbitch]

FHJY Finale Thoughts: Episode 19

Disclaimer: I know I've been really negative about the last two episodes but I do actually have real criticisms, and I will try my best to not be just 'I hate this' about everything. No promises though. Also, none of this is hating the IH or Bleem. I respect that they're very fucking tired when shooting this and don't have a week in between episodes to think, and so these criticisms are made with that in mind. Also feel free to debate and discuss, I just wanted to share my opinions and try to pinpoint where the narrative went wrong, or where BLeeM could've made a better DM choice, but I love hearing other people's thoughts!

Bringing back K2: Bringing her back to have a second healer is really smart, but saying that Kristen liked having a sister around doesn't make sense. There was never any moment where Kristen and K2 seemed to get along, and honestly, I think K2 got along more with Fabian and Fig. Show don't tell is actually really good advice.

The short rest (and Ice Feast): Just nope. Nope. Not a fan, solidly don't like it. This is the big finale, and I felt more concern during the dragon fight than here. That's the problem with playing level 14 characters, I'm aware, but like. Not letting them take the short rest, actually having The Rat Grinders be skilled at fighting (If Brennan was lying about them grinding rats, you don't think he was lying about them only doing the killing blow on monsters? Plus, do you really think Porter would have his first worshippers and warriors only know how to do a killing blow?), having Kipperlilly steal the votes, anything man. Ice Feast played a big part in giving them the advantage, and I wasn't cool with that too. Taking away fire damage, making them unable to be stunned, all of that took away like the biggest threats of the fight. (I do think it's really cute that Brennan actually made Ice Feast for his friends, but allowing them to use it before the final battle, on top of the short rest was too much)

Strategy: Rewatching, it's actually fun to see them strategize because they're so good at it! It just sucks that they feel nothing but hate for these kids and we know that doesn't change after everything they've seen. And the narrative's going to reward them for it.

Squeem: Honestly? Also, not my favorite. Like, to have a short rest, and Ice Feast, and several allies on their way? What's the point of even fighting? Just skip to the victory dance. (Was so funny to have the return of hot chocolate with a shot of cortado, and lemonade cortado)

Battle Set: Once again, the art department has fucking slayed. Truly, such a work of art. 10/10, no notes.

Mary Ann: Not getting into it a lot with this episode, but see here for my general thoughts. Also, not happy with the cast's reactions to Mary Ann freaking out over getting her strawberry burned, as that's most likely her having a meltdown.

Ivy: I do appreciate Brennan trying to get the Bad Kids to be nice through the Hangman. Also, if Ivy truly does like looking good, great for her, but the only things we know about her at this time are that she's besties with Oisin, she was into Fabian, she's kinda bitchy, and some of her class stats. So the idea that just because she's a "mean girl" she'd take offense to getting called ugly feels misogynistic, especially coming from a complete stranger/someone literally not in her universe of existence. As for what Fabian said and did to Ivy, in my opinion, part of it is because he rejected Mazey at the party to impress her and feels bad, part of it is because she rejected him, and part of it is because he feels bad that he 'yes and-ed' the racist remark she made about Mazey. Also, the close proximity to the rage stars. I think he was wrong for what he said, and I'm not going to get into the virginity comment now because I still have a whole 'nother episode to get through, but I do want to say this is when Fabian/Mazey stopped being cute to me. Also, Brennan using Ivy's last moments to have her make a mean comment really feels like he's trying to cast her as the mean girl, which again, it's fine if she is. You can't convince me she's not just a kid scared for her life.

Oisin: Smart to get him somewhere he can't counterspell Adaine, and to take him out of the fight first, but why didn't we have anything directed at him? Like, I know that he never really got close enough to Adaine for episode 18 to be a full betrayal, but everything with Ivy and Ruben was so intense, I'd expect something. On behalf of Ivy and Ruben, I'm offended he was mostly left alone. As a general Rat Grinders enjoyer, this does count as a (small) w.

Buddy: So sad that Ally's insight roll on him failed, and I will not tolerate anyone calling him stupid or naive about the plan: see here. I get annoyed that Buddy was played up as a joke villain, but whatever! He's just a dumb southern hick, right?

Ruben: Saying there's no loyalty from Ruben is soo arrogant. They never emotionally connected so who would he be loyal to? The friends he's had for three years, or some random girl who had one real conversation with him? Tumblr user @rubenhopclap says it best. Fig's speech to Ruben is just *argh*. Girlie you don't know anything about him! (I do understand Emily's annoyance, because she did spend like at least one roll per downtime session on Ruben! But also... it was Wanda Childa talking to him, not Fig. He didn't have a real person to connect with, so why would he bother?) Like, out of all The Rat Grinders, we have explicit information that he is scared despite all of the rage and yet she just yells in his face? Thought the theme of the season was doubt beats anger, not war conquers rage. I'm also uncomfortable with Fig, who earlier in the season explicitly states that she think she's a monster for ruining one person's stay in hell as opposed to punishing all of them, deciding that just because Ruben was annoying and a waste of time he should be going to hell to be punished.

Kipperlilly: No notes. Literally, girlie was getting w's the entire episode.

Jace and Porter: No notes. Honestly? Their fucked up dynamic carried me through the finale.

The Lava: Just another solid no. With the amount of advantages we already have, it makes no sense to let their 'being immune to fire' translate to 'being immune to magma.' Bringing in some science, magma is literally a fourth state of matter, different from water. That's not going to feel like taking a swim, it's going to feel like getting crushed by cold lava. (Yes, I understand different DM's would allow that and different DM's wouldn't allow that, but with the advantages they already have, I feel like making them roll even for just half damage would be fine. Plus, fucking common sense says 'don't jump in lava, even if you have fire immunity.')

Making fun of Porter: I adore a group of teenagers just absolutely clowning on a 40 year old teacher, but I do wish they had engaged with the themes. We know it's really fucking likely The Rat Grinders have rage stars, and yet they just completely skip the part that Porter can control anyone with a rage star. And it's not like the Academy hasn't failed them before. It's not like Aguefort himself hasn't failed them before. They should be angry about that! Just, the refusal to engage with the themes in a story is irritating.

See Episode 20 thoughts here

[absolutechaosebrain]

When you get to a point that you can’t tell if Brennan is just that dedicated to the bit, or if he has finally snapped and Brennans 20something years of D&D have been brought to an end by the game breaking Nat 20 of a super straight slightly British simulacrum of Ally’s PC.

[boxesblr]

...If Kristen 2 is a simulacrum with all the current abilities of the original Kristen Applebee's, can she roll for divine intervention?

[glitteringobliteration]

BEGGING for someone to draw Kristen and Kristen 2 as Hallie and Annie with K2 going “I have class and you don’t!”

They are so parent trap coded I love them

[itsjustevil]

So, the consensus from everyone on this platform I'm seeing on what the big thing happening in tonight's episode is that Ally is gonna roll Divine Intervention for Kristen 2 to immaculately conceive the baby of Cassandra and Akarna. That is what is going on. We're all agreeing on this. It's what is happening.ok.

[starful-emporium]

The thing about K2 (and any simulacrum, really) that allows them to be so chaotic is that they're essentially a PC-controlled NPC. The player controlling them isn't beholden to the same emotional bond they have with the real PC. It's like having one Sim you've been playing for years and genuinely care about, versus the duplicate Sim you make purely to fuck with. It's the ultimate reversal of the DM PC.

[storytellervan]

mm another thing that’s stupidly significant about k2’s sacrifice is that technically she’s the second follower of cassandra! like after so much time was dedicated in the early season to kristen being the only one, now the feeling of two people praying in tandem is what woke cass up!!!

[grasslandgirl]

HELP IM IN TEARS. OH MY GOD

[ghostlyeris]

as fun as it is to dunk on the k2 moment, there is something so poetic about her being the one to reach cassandra

you are a clone. a copy. a simulacrum of a person who's only been alive for a few days. you're hanging out with your friends (who aren't really your friends) at fabian's birthday/your (her) election party. and suddenly you're thrust into mortal danger by your god (who isn't really your god at all)

you're there, helping load the cannons and fire at dragons, but everyone is talking to her. even as you race upstairs to help, gorgug speaks to her, even when you're right there. and through the wind and the waves, you watch kristen reach out to perform a miracle once again

and she fails

of course she fails. she's reaching out to cassandra, her goddess of mystery and doubt. but this storm isn't cassandra. cassandra sits tucked away in kristen's jeans, protected by her last true cleric in spyre

this isn't cassandra though. this is the nightmare king. a corrupted copy of the god kristen worships. saint kristen applebees, soon-to-be student body president and star cleric of the bad kids could never hope to reach him

but you could. clone to clone, copy to copy, corruption to corruption. you reach out, asking for divine intervention. and as you begin to feel it work, your divine prayer answered by a corrupted god, all you say is "blimey"

[alltears]

potential pcs for emily to play in fantasy high senior year:

MARY ANN SKUTTLE

PROS: save me pc romance… SAVE ME…; she rocks so hard; need to hear more about qwoky pets

CONS: mary ann may be best enjoyed in small doses; two barbarians in the party seems unnecessary

A SIMULACRUM OF FIG (AKA F2)

PROS: hilarious; we still get fig sort of; emily gets to delight us with an accent (perhaps swedish fig?)

CONS: probably too close to emily just playing fig again

BUCKY APPLEBEES

PROS: we love bucky!!; really interesting relationship with kristen; lower-level pc doing bad kids-level missions would be bonkers

CONS: potentially too similar to kristen’s freshman year arc

BOGGY THE FROGGY

PROS: would make me laugh; emily would have fun

CONS: it’s a silent frog

ECAF

PROS: funny

CONS: she’s a fucking turncoat; everything else

A SEXY RAT HEROICALLY ATTEMPTING TO REBUILD RAT WORLD

PROS: full-circle moment for emily; builds upon the established rat lore; would urge the bad kids to explore mysterious, undiscovered aspects of aguefort

CONS: i see no cons

[bowenoke]

sorry I promise I'll shut up about kristen and k2 applebees in a week but could you imagine going to classes with a cleric so gifted her simulacrum resurrected herself. what are you supposed to do with that. she was expelled, she told the teacher he was scared and pathetic, she doesnt even do homework and shes throwing off the curve

[corvideon]

okay my prediction for the next episode of fantasy high is that Kristen Applebee’s simulacrum will be the one to succeed on a divine intervention roll to bring Cassandra back. but unfortunately she comes back straight and British

[prickly-paprikash]

I'm still not over a Femme, Het, Brit Kristen Applebees walking around Elmville like it's a regular Tuesday. Going to Aguefort must be wild.

You're chatting up the likely winner of the Presidential Race for the school. A short, squat, beefy redhead into powerlifting and creatine. You talk about lo-fi study nights at Seacaster Manor. You rave like a lunatic about her Shrimp Jump that lives in everyone's minds in perpetuity. She gives you lifting advice and says she needs to run to the Steel Mill Factory to rack up votes in her favor. You are bewildered but still awestruck that you are talking to the Applebees herself. As she turns to leave, you see this gangly firbolg with bees buzzing around her. They kiss. That's fucking adorable. You move on.

And lo and behold there's Mr. Maximum Legend himself, Fabian Aramais Seacaster. Last you heard he had a little something-something with the current student body President. You are, once more, awestruck. The two most popular Aguefort students and two legendary adventurers in their own right, and you got to meet them in this same hall! But he's a little uncomfortable as this lithe, smiling ginger hangs off his arm like a groupie.

It's Kristen Applebees.

Now, say you're only a freshman. Not yet familiar with the concept of Simulacrum. No magic-user in the party, or it hasn't been touched upon yet in your lessons.

High Femme, Thick British accent, thinner and softer than the Cleric of Doubt.

I'm done, bro.

[its-always-british-hour]

BLIMEY

I RISE FROM THE ASHES LIKE A PHOENIX AGAIN GUVNA

SIMULACRUM OF KRISTEN APPLEBEES AT YOUR SERVICE

CURRENTLY ATTENDING HUDOL

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Hey it’s @justaninternetgal , you probably know me from running @quokkipetenjoyer so I started one for K2 cause I thought it’d be funny lmao

@kissanddrugs is my new nemesis/j