#learning kipper

[cloysterbell]

The dog with the slipper, that’s Kipper

[ganglystem]

They only kinda know what they're doing

[gwendolyn-of-loxley]

So I finally ate.

I feel better.

[chiaknight]

Thinking about Britt during this dark time and how she helped one of Awdry's great characters, Henry, become fantastic in the span of one episode- Henry's Forest.

Henry has a great backstory, but in terms of personality he wasn't exactly unique in the RWS- which is what most of his classic era appearances are directly based on. However, I like to believe that Britt and David teased their take on Henry a few times very subtly.

These screencaps are from Tenders and Turntables and Dirty Work. In the first scene, Gordon is delegating his plan for the strike. In the second, the big three are complaining about the names Duck supposedly called them.

I just find it interesting that they specifically chose his sad faceplate for these moments, as it implies that instead of being angry or combative like Gordon and James, Henry feels more unsure, hurt, or self-conscious. They are brief, but in my eyes these were showing Henry's sensitive side before Henry's Forest was ever written.

But then, of course, season three came along, and so did Henry's Forest.

This episode is so beloved because it creatively expands Henry's character in a way that fits Awdry's writing for him.

It always bothered me how Henry as a person never changed after the Flying Kipper, which was more or less a potential near-death experience for him. But Henry gaining an appreciation for life, for the natural beauty all around him makes perfect sense.

They also gave Henry the role we all know he has: the "nicest" of the Big Three. He has his grumpy moments, but overall he is agreeable, hardworking, and obedient to the Fat Controller.

He also doesn't subscribe to the "won't pull trucks/little engines are inferior" ideology- at least, not anymore. Not since the crash. And why should he? Ever since that day, Henry learned that there is so much more to life. He won't be around forever, so there's no sense in wasting time fussing over stupid things like that. He'd rather focus on being a good engine, 'cause now he finally has the chance to do that.

This kind of reimagining suits Awdry's writing for the character perfectly, as surely such a drastic change in Henry's life would cause him to see the world in new way. Cause him to become more aware of the world around him, more sensitive to the people and engines around him, more comfortable with who he is.

It's a shame that Awdry didn't really care much for Henry's Forest, because what Britt and David did for his character propelled Henry, my favorite character, to new heights.

Rest in Peace, Britt.

Thank you. For everything.

[these-posts-arent-real]

Time to catch up on your favorite dashboard simulator :3

#gonna start scheduling these for 1 or 2 per day #i really enjoy making them but I think i'll get burnt out otherwise #also HUGE ty to whoever was the anon who sent me the idea #about having therian cats #ohhh my god #hey anon #(or anyone else but im talkin to u) #feel free to dm me to talk at any point you seem cool

15 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

I PASSED MY ASSESSMENT!!! AAAAAHHH

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

OMSC CONGRATS MOOSE! I'm so happy for you!!!!

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

WOAAAHHH CONGRATULATIONS MOOOSEE!!! Have you had your name ceremony yet??

#im so happy for ya dude #moving on from apprenticeship </3 #gonna miss you in the 'apprentice things' tag

10 notes

🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow reblogged

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

Daily selfie !!!

Trying on some new berry-based fur dye.

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

The amount of cats commenting "you'll never be a she-cat" and "wearing fur dye won't make you female" is astounding. Like. Thanks?? I'm a trans guy not a trans girl...

#lol?? #this is so funny to me #trans

4,703 notes

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

Ahh.. different type of post than usual, but.. mmrrnn... I'm considering coming out to my mentor. I know he's supportive, but I'm really nervous, so, uh.. I'm gonna leave it up to a Clanblr poll haha..

#trans #transmasc #trans tom #transgender #trans apprentice #advice #poll

4 notes

🤍 snwtl Follow

* ,○ ' WELCOME TO MY BLOG ^. o° ;

adult female cat - 49 moons - gender critical

Keep reading

#terfsafe #radfem #adult female cat #terf #riverclan

0 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

New neighbors have THE most annoying dog I've ever met in my life. Won't shut up about how that's her yard and to get back... nobody wants your yard Jackie, shut uppp...

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Since when do you speak dog????

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

I started picking it up when I moved to the twolegplace. I'm still not fluent, but I can hold a conversation with the neighborhood dogs if I want.

#every new thing i learn about kipper #just. wow #he is so coolll... #this is totally not the gender envy and parent issues speaking

2,851 notes

🔁 🌊 missingmyscales reblogged

🦊 foxx--hearted Follow

The worst part about being a fox therian is that even when I am partially accepted, it's usually because cats are telling me how horrible foxes are, and how I should've "picked a different species" because they think that's how it works.

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Imagine being a fish. In RiverClan.

The closest I ever get to "acceptance" is my friends joking about how I would taste.

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

How does it feel to have to eat the thing your damaged brain thinks you are. Lol

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Frst off. "Damaged brain" like. Oookay guess we're just being really mean to others on Clanblr today. Second off ,I dont eat fish??? I never even implied that I eat fish.

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

You're from RiverClan lmao. What else is there to eat

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

...

You are joking, right?

Lizards, birds, water voles and shrews, snakes, frogs, toads?? None of those come to mind when you consider the potential diet of a RiverClan warrior??????

🦊 foxx--hearted Follow

@missingmyscales you should probably just block @lalala-bluegaze, her whole blog is about being anti-kittypet, anti-therian, not believing enbies or bisexuals/any other lgbt identity than lesbian or gay or binary trans is valid, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It's not worth talking to her.

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Ahh thanks... blocked her. I didnt think to check her blog beforehand

#sorry again for arguing on your post, Maple #saw a misconception ab RiverClan and blacked out lol

407 notes

🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass reblogged

🌾 barncat-vibes Follow

Good morning everyone <3 remember to eat breakfast and stay hydrated!

2,301 notes

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

#it difnr taste good euther :/

1 note

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

So I guess I'm just on this site now?? Clanblr is gone. I can't access any of its posts. But. I can see "Tumblr". Which is weird. The posts are really strange here.

[togetherness23]

@tendedwinner748 RE edward/henry being a rescue ship:

as far as i know (says the freak who over analyzes almost every single interaction between them ever), there’s been no grandiose, fast-paced rescue actions between them. they’re overall seen as (usually edward) picking up after unfortunate circumstances- the degree to which the rescues are from mild inconveniences or major crashes varies, but it’s almost always after the character (usually henry) is in trouble, which i find really interesting myself.

Edward getting the breakdown crane for Henry after the latter’s crashes (The Flying Kipper, Big Strong Henry, JBS)

Emphasis on usually- HiT era has a learning segment example of Henry helping Edward after the latter runs out of water and comes to a stop (Sharing).

Another learning segment (Being Kind) states that Henry will also be kind to Edward, so it can probably go both ways.

Also, just a vaguely related moment- Henry being among the engines who cheer for Edward when the latter is lauded as a hero! (Edward the Hero)

[sketalya]

✨The Steam Team✨

The Steam Team full ref's

And here are some of my headcanons about them (⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ

1) Thomas | 26 y.o | 165 cm

• Cheeky, a little naive, hardworking, friendly, and very loyal

• He didn't have any family left after his older brother Timothy died. So Edward, who is Timothy's friend, decided to take care of little Thomas. And that created a strong sibling relationship between them

• Really admires Edward and always tries to be the best to make his brother proud of him. He even dyed his hair (Thomas' hair was blonde before) and chose to wear blue uniform to look like him

• Teasing grumpy seniors is his daily routine

• Can be a bit stubborn and pushy. But don't worry, he always learns from his mistakes (even though it usually will happen again)

• Always ready to help his friends

• Really likes new challenges and adventures that might cause problems. Don't know how he always makes new friends after that. But yeah, that's what makes this puffball famous isn't it

• Has a huge crush on Lady after saving her. But unfortunately they have to separate because Lady has the responsibility to keep the Magic Railroad alive. Thomas didn't get to express his feelings at that time and now he only hopes to see her again one day

2) Edward | 34 y.o | 175 cm

• Before being the wise Eddie that everyone know, Edward used to be a trouble maker for his brothers and sisters in the past. But after a fatal accident that took the lives of all his siblings, Edward felt guilty for not being a good brother to them. And that made Edward turn into a good older brother figure for all young drivers just like what his older brothers and sisters did

• Always reliable for everything. In fact, because of that, sometimes he gets assignments that actually give him difficulties, but he always tried to do it himself because he didn't want to disappoint people

• Pretty good with children too. He sometimes takes his time to play with the neighborhood children. And all the kids really like him and are very excited every time he comes

• Has his own way of disciplining young drivers who like to cause trouble, Bill and Ben for example. Usually he would just advise patiently but he also don't hesitate to make a little prank to teach them a lesson

• Not very good at understanding jokes and that often makes him misunderstands it

• Actually very tired from everything but trying to look okay (He needs a little help)

• He has quite severe scars on both legs and he also has insomnia...Never let this man get drunk

3) Henry | 29 y.o | 192 cm

• Quite shy, very easy to feel anxious, gentle but can also be a little rough, one of the strongest but people sometimes forget about that because he is quite timid

• Gets along well with young drivers. But he can be a bit mean to them too when he's with other seniors. But slowly he changed now

• Has health problems and has a large scar on his body from the Flying Kipper accident. It makes him feel insecure and try cover it with his turtle neck clothes

• Really likes nature, likes to spend his free time in the forest, and his room is literally filled with potted plants. Has venus flytrap plants that he names Fairy, Bubble, and Lala that he talks to and considers them his pets

• Sometimes he would fish at night after delivering the Flying Kipper and sometimes he would ask Percy to come with him if he wasn't busy and chatting about lots of things together

• Whenever he felt anxious and had a problem, he would usually talk to Edward or Emily about it

4) Gordon | 30 y.o | 192 cm

• Overproud of himself, grumpy, and always seems to look down on young drivers and diesel drivers. But actually he also has a soft side that he doesn't show openly to everyone because of his pride. His face would change when he smiled

• Sleepyhead even though he's a coffee addict, likes to eat a lot, and sometimes smokes in his spare time

• Only likes to take the Express, and would be very lazy if he got another job besides that. Will feel annoyed if other people take the Express even if it's his own friend. But he didn't mind if it was Rebecca

• Very stubborn, only Edward and Sir Topham Hat can deal with that

• Comes from a famous family but he doesn't really like it and doesn't care. Because he has a bad relationship with his relatives and is even awkward when he is with his brother Flying Scotsman

• Really loves all his friends even though he doesn't say it. He will usually give gifts as an apology when his friends are offended by his behavior. He has a hard time accepting new people and can't let go of his friends easily

5) James | 27 y.o | 180 cm

• Splendid, a little narcissistic, and sometimes looks down on others even though he doesn't really mean to

• He looks tough but is actually sensitive, easily offended and will cry silently if someone insults him. That's why he always wants to be the best so that people will praise him more often

• The gossip in the group, literally loves to talk about any drama with the others

• Has several piercing scars on his ears from his emo past. He also has big scars on both arms from an accident but he covered them with fire tattoos and it makes him feel cooler and more confident than ever

• Doesn't like anything dirty and hates insects, especially bees

• Very knowledgeable about fashion, likes to go shopping for new clothes every weekend, happy to give advice on outfit styles. Emily was the one who helped him dye his hair

• Likes collecting cute little things but never tells it to anyone except Emily and Percy

6) Percy | 26 y.o | 160 cm

• The youngest in the group and is often teased by his friends and seniors. Cinnamon rolls but doesn't hesitate to say bad words when he gets really annoyed

• Literally can make friends with anyone even diesel drivers. But a little cynical with Harold because he calls him "Dirty Percy"

• Animal lover, friendly with wild animals, and has many pets such as dog, cat, fish, and even has a collection of insects in his room. Sometimes he liked seeing James' frightened expression when he brought his insects pet

• Admires Henry and considers him his older brother. Henry thought it was cute and was okay with it. In fact, Percy's current uniform is actually Henry's old uniform that was given to him because Percy didn't like his own uniform

• He likes to stay over at Toby's place to play with Henrietta's pet dog. And he thought it was a suitable place to write poetry at his free time (Yes, he likes poetry)

• Percy is quite often asked for help writing and sending love letters by his friends. That made him know about everyone's crushes on Sodor

7) Toby | 40 y.o | 175 cm

• Introverted and doesn't really like being around a lot of people but he still socializes because of his wife. Wise and actually always able to give useful advice but he is quite often underestimated by young drivers

• Always doing things slowly and relaxed, he doesn't like being rushed. Even every lunch time, when his friends had almost finished their food, he still on a few bites. Henrietta was the only one that patient enough for that

• Bookworm and will only wear glasses when reading. Percy says that he looks different when he wears it

• Very good at cooking and often brings food to his friends but he always says that it was made by Henrietta (He doesn't want people to know about it). But of course Percy knew about it, and every time he came to his place, Toby would make cakes and other snacks just for Percy

• He prefers to spend holidays with his wife at home or playing with his pet birds, so sometimes his friend had to push him a little to get him go out together

• Secretly has trust issues and anger issues. He doesn't put much trust in other people who he only considers as ordinary friends. He usually tries to be quiet and patient when someone bothers him, but he can become very out of control when he loses his temper.(Better no need to know what he's do and just don't make him angry)

8) Emily | 29 y.o | 170 cm

• The mature ones in the group, bossy and stubborn in the past but now she has learned to be more open-minded to other people's suggestions (Still a bit bossy sometimes but at least she tried)

• Perfectionist, always wants everything to work well and can be a bit strict about it

• Love pretty and shiny things, she and James often talk about their favorite things

• James sometimes helps her with makeup and choosing outfits every time she goes out somewhere. Which was challenging for James because Emily liked goth style

• She also often talks about flowers with Henry, literally can spending a lot of time just talking about them. Grows lots of flowers in her room with Henry's help, and as a thank you, sometimes she gave Henry some insects to feed his pet venus flytrap (Don't know where she got them but Henry is always happy to receive it...Don't worry, she didn't take it from Percy)

• Likes to borrow novels, especially thriller and mystery genres, from Toby. But that often makes Toby annoyed because she always forgets to return it

• Love to playing with her friends' fluffy hair. Percy, Henry, and Edward are always be the victims if they are careless

• Unlike Edward, she's quite strong and can drink a lot without getting drunk

Sorry if this is too long...I had a lot of fun writing all this ;D and in the future I will always use this design for my AU ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

[oraclekleo]

Love&Sex Related Tarot&Oracle Questions for Singles (NSFW)

(NO FS Edition)

Hello my dear Kleotics and random visitors to my blog!

Today I have summed up about 45 questions you can ask your tarot/oracle/Lenormand/Kipper cards that are all related to love and sex. You can actually ask those questions yourself even without pulling any cards and just reflect on them.

You might notice that some of the questions are very similar but I believe that nuance and subtle differences in wording matter here and can give you sometimes vastly different answers.

None of these 45 questions include “future spouse”. I personally dislike the craze surrounding this concept so don’t be surprised that I don’t even work with the term.

Many of the questions are focused on self-love since your relationship with yourself will reflect your relationship with your partner. Insecure people have the tendency to become overly jealous and clingy in a relationship, which leads to inevitable break up. People who dislike their own body might have problems experiencing pleasure with their partner. So learn to love yourself and develop a positive and confident mindset. That way you will attract the best partners and be able to create beautiful, loving and mutually fulfilling bonds lasting ages with them.

So let’s stop beating around the bush here and get to the questions!

Love&Sex Related Tarot&Oracle Questions for Singles (NSFW)

In what ways am I ready for a romantic/sexual relationship?

In what ways am I not ready for a romantic/sexual relationship?

What do I need to leave behind/release to be open to love?

What do I need to learn to be ready for love?

How can I better explore my own sexuality?

What personal boundaries do I need to establish for a healthy romantic/sexual relationship?

What do I need to understand about myself before entering a romantic/sexual relationship?

How is my own sexuality thriving/suffering?

What can I do to improve my own relationship with my sexuality?

What types of mental blocks do I need to overcome before I can have a healthy romantic/sexual relationship?

What are some practical steps I can start taking now in order to improve my own mindset about romance and sex?

What are some of my insecurities regarding love and sex that I should work on?

What are some practical steps I can make now in order to love myself?

In what way(s) does my perception of myself need to shift so I can truly love myself?

What are some of my most loveable qualities that I don’t see?

What are some of the things I should work on in order to be happier with myself?

How can I feel more romantic today?

What romantic/sexual fantasy will bring me pleasure?

What is it that my body needs in a sexual/sensual sense?

What does my mind need in a sexual/sensual sense?

How can I reach the right mindset to be in the mood for pleasuring myself?

Which of my features make me f*ckable (super attractive if you want to be decent about the wording)?

How is my love life going to unfold for me in the next week/month/year/6 months/etc.?

What are some of the qualities I should look for in a romantic/sexual partner?

What are some of the deal breakers I should never settle for in a romantic/sexual relationship?

What are some of the qualities that would be most compatible with me?

What are some of the least compatible qualities my partner could have?

In what environments should I start looking for my potential partner?

What are some of the most outstanding characteristics I should look for in a partner?

What are some of the red flags I should be warned about?

What are some of the tips for me to be able to communicate better with my potential partner?

What do I need to heal before entering a healthy romantic/sexual relationship?

What do I need to embrace before entering a healthy romantic/sexual relationship?

What type of lover is most compatible with me now?

What kind of self-reflection do I need to focus on now in order to be able to find love later?

What love language do I need to work on now?

How can I prepare myself for receiving love?

What are the best ways I can give love?

What are some of the prejudices I hold onto that are preventing me from creating a long-term romantic bond with someone?

How is my past affecting my current relationships in a negative way?

What kind of mindset do I need to develop/adopt for a better future when it comes to sex/romance?

What does my heart/soul/mind/libido desire the most right now?

Where is my current approach to love and sex taking me right now?

What type of lover do I attract now? (You might not like the answer and want to change your approach to attract a different type of lover)

What do I need to do/start doing in order to attract the type of lover I want? (Have the top 10 qualities (preferably personality-wise, not looks) of your desired lover noted down while asking this question, you can pull a card for each quality you’ve written down to get an advice on what you need to do to be compatible with each quality you stated)

Remember that the alpha and omega of a successful relationship (applies to platonic and professional ones, too) are communication and mutual respect. When you like someone, stop talking to cards and literally anyone and anything else and talk to the person you like. Drop the mindset that other people can read your mind or can get your subtle hints. If you want something, say it clearly and use the correct terms. Ask the questions you really want to get an answer to, not some beat around the bush ones. (Examples: “I’m free this Saturday, do you want to hang out?” “Could you please call me a different pet name? Baby girl sounds weird to me when I’m 38.” “I had a rough day at work and I was thinking about you the whole way home, getting myself pretty horny. I would love to sit on your face for a bit, are you up for it?”)

Feel free to share your ideas and opinions on these questions. Can you think about other questions you would love to ask cards (or yourself) when it comes to the Love&Sex topic? Share your thoughts!

Thank you for reading this far!

(This isn’t a tarot reading offer, I merely share the questions you can ask your cards or other tarot readers offering readings. My requests are closed now.)

Check out the tips on how to read cards for yourself and how to interpret the cards in a dirty way!

[graboidmilk]

Substitution

Reagent!Chalcanthite drabble under the cut

Synopsis: Chalcanthite reflects on his relationship with the other reagents- along with one specific reagent.

Chalcanthite doesn’t really think that Kipper is a friend- he doesn’t really want to, either. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle the disappointment when Kipper comes to his senses and realizes how bad of a man Chalcanthite is.

Chalcanthite doesn’t… have friends. He didn’t before this life, and he certainly doesn’t now. He’s had past reagents try and talk to him- sure- he's had other reagents try to get to know him- of course- but he didn’t want anything they were fucking selling. He knew better than to try and learn anything about them- They were nothing but fodder, and he knew that. Mr. Noakes had made that more than clear to him.

All of them are dead now, anyways.

He knows Janet's tried to be his friend. A pretty ginger reagent with a temper unbecoming, but she was kind; far too kind for a place like this. Chalcanthite often found himself wondering how long it would take for her to die, too- or just how much of her being alive was Easterman pulling the strings.

He has to wonder, he has to. 

She’s gotten so far, had been through so much, and yet seemed untouchable, and-… and it made him sick. He didn’t understand her. He didn’t understand how she could keep fucking… living like that. Like this. He didn’t understand how she keeps fucking going.

She pissed him off. She was stupid- no directional navigation, incapable of foresight, and still so much fucking better than him in every fucking way. It wasn’t fair. He’d worked so hard, he’d come so far, and yet… she was happy, kind of. She was happy living in these god damned cells, she was happy with earning 'F' upon 'F' upon 'F.' She was a failure, but she was happy. She seemed to be getting better. It wasn’t fair. Why did she get to be happy ? Why the fuck did she get to be so fucking perfect ? She can just smile it all away, act like everything’s fine, and yet here he is, rotting. He’s nothing but a decaying weed being shadowed by a beautiful red flower taking his sun.

It wouldn’t be long until Easterman chose her to replace him- to which he’s sure he’d be lucky to be a corpse installment, if he was allowed to be remembered at all.

… So, no. Janet’s not his friend.

He doesn’t think much of Talyn, either. Short, unimpressively spineless, and incapable of communication. He thinks they’re a vulture, if anything. He hasn’t run many trials with them- hasn’t wanted to, either. They don’t talk to him, and he fucking likes it like that; the more they’re quiet, the more he can project whatever image he can onto them. He knows enough, though. He knows they have a habit of… taking things. Taking things that don’t fucking belong to them. A heartless scavenger.

They don’t fucking know him well enough to deserve it. They don’t fucking know him at all- the fucking thought of them makes his teeth ache.

Talyn is probably never going to be his friend, in spite of Janet’s efforts to encourage otherwise, and Chalcanthite can’t bring himself to be hurt over it.

But then there's Kipper, his gift from God.

His first man. His first teammate.

The closest thing he’ll ever come to a friend, since-...

... It doesn't matter. He's gone now.

He remembers seeing Kipper for the first time, even if he doesn’t want to. He was far from perfect, yet Chalcanthite made time for him, anyhow- Easterman's orders and all that.

Fragile, reckless, dependent.

Kipper’s nothing compared to him.

Yet, when Chalcanthite stares at the sleeping form on his bed, in his room, he wonders what it is about him. They’re not friends- Chalcanthite would never do that to him- but.. It was still more. Something some part of him had clearly deemed worth having, even if some day he knew he was going to be proven wrong. Kipper reminded him of a child, sometimes- and Chalcanthite wasn’t particularly fond of how he felt like he was the caretaker.

But it was a necessary evil, to keep Kipper safe. It was an evil he’d commit time and time again, even if the whispers from his radio insisted he was jeopardizing himself in the process.

Kipper’s not his friend, but he’s something.

His eyes roam Kipper’s sleeping form, and he mentally wonders when the laundry will be finished.

He wonders what time it is.

He’s died for this man so many times- has watched this man be killed so many times… and yet, he does his fucking laundry for him, cleans him up when he's too overwhelmed, babies him- Lets him sleep in his fucking bed when he has a bad dream.

He remembers first coming here, shoved through the shuttle. He’d felt… terrified. He’d felt so small. He’d felt cold, and scared.

He remembers missing his cat- he remembers his shivering, terrified cat, and he remembers wondering if this is the fear he felt.

He remembers entering that trial shuttle with Kipper, remembers scrambling for a semblance of stability with him in the trial setting. He remembers the look on Kipper’s face when everything had gone so, so fucking wrong. He remembers the look on Kipper’s face when Coyle struck him down on their way to escape.

In that moment, he knew what he needed to be. 

In that moment, he knew it didn’t matter if they were friends, if they would ever be friends, because in that moment, it didn’t matter how small Chalcanthite felt. It didn’t matter how cold, or how scared. None of that mattered, when he saw the look on Kipper’s face when Coyle killed him.

Because in that moment, all he knew was the face of a man who was smaller, colder, and more scared.

[khajiit-reads]

Methods to Read the Lenormand Grand Tableau

This post serves as an overarching post about ways you can read the Lenormand Grand Tableau. You should pick and choose depending on what you feel is important in your reading, for yourself or your querent. You can also read all of it, but just a fair warning that you'll be sitting there reading for a While.

This post is written from an assumption that you at least vaguely understand Lenormand meanings. If you don't, you can check Labyrinthos or LenormandReader.

As an extra note, you can use these same methods for the Kipper Grand Tableau, but the layout is four rows of nine instead of four of eight and one of four.

Depicted above: The main way the Lenormand Grand Tableau is laid out (not my preferred method, I prefer the Kipper layout, but for the sake of this post we're gonna use it especially because I need to learn this method better and this post is primarily for myself and anybody else who wants it), using Healing Light Lenormand by Christopher Butler. There is also a chart of the theoretical spread, showing the house on top and the actual card on the bottom, with some highlights to depict the Four Corners and the Center Cards.

The above will also be used as an example when necessary to explain my point.

Always remember that cards being next to or near each other affect each other. Whip next to Bouquet represents a strained or hurting relationship, for example, not things on their lonesome.

If your deck has extra cards, you'll want to cut it down to there only being one of each number, so you have 36 cards. Such as if your deck comes with four people cards, you only want to use two people cards.

Theoretically, you can use this spread with any deck, as long as you cut it down to 36 cards. You can even use tarot, by cutting it down to 36 cards.

⛤ SIGNIFICATORS.

The significators have a lot of ways they're read. The only important one is to read the way the querent's significator faces. If your deck has multiple man/woman cards, and you always make the Querent number 28 like I do, then you don't have to worry about something like this. Otherwise, if the querents card faces left, you read right to left.

Firstly, the row the querent significator is in is the most important row. It's the row you want to consider the most.

Another method is that the card above the Querent Significator is their thoughts, and the card below is their feelings.

Another, the card in front of is what the Querent is focusing on, the card behind is what the Querent is struggling with.

You can also consider that cards closer to the Querent are more important than cards far away from the Querent.

Consider the significators face to each other - Are they facing each other in the spread? Are they back-to-back? This may reflect the relationship between your querent and their companion.

Consider the row placement. The higher the querent, the more control they have over the situation.

Consider the column placement. The more rows ahead of them, the easier time ahead.

Recommended Reading / Watching: Man and Woman: The Lenormand Significators by LenormandReader (link is to the transcripted article, but the article also has the youtube video linked).

⛤ CENTER CARDS.

This method involves starting with the six center cards. They represent the heart of the reading.

There's Whip, Bouquet, Fish, Mice, Heart, and Scythe. Generally, this would say that this reading centers a lot of conflict of emotion and relationships, which may step into ones work life.

⛤ HOUSES.

This method reads the entire spread going through each card in its "house", which counts up in order from 1 to 36. Think of it like this: The drawn card visits the house of the card that belongs there and mirrors them, but their identity isn't wholly covered up by the house they're in.

The drawn card is affected by the house, but is usually louder than the house. Let's take the first card - Cross in the house of Rider. One might be finding a larger drive to focus on their faith as of late, or to tackle difficulties in their life.

You can also choose to read this based on a set list of mixed meanings, such as reading this instead as a painful message, and difficulties. (courtesy of Labyrinthos).

⛤ THE FOUR CORNERS.

The four corners, highlighted in blue, have specific set representative meanings.

The left corners represent the past. The right, the future.

The top corners represent things out of your control, while the bottom represent things in your control.

⛤ ROWS.

One method is, The first row depicts what's out of your control. The second row depicts the present circumstances. The third row depicts what's in your control. The fourth row depicts your fate.

Another method is The first row depicts what's out of your control. The second row depicts the present circumstances. The third row depicts what's in your control. The fourth row depicts your "bottom line", which summarizes the whole reading succintly.

And yet another method is The center rows depicts the present circumstances.  The top row is what’s out of your control.  The bottom row is what’s in your control.

⛤ COLUMNS.

The columns move from left to right, going through the past, present, and future, going through a different stage for each column.

However, you could also change it to read another method: Such as the next 8 months, or 8 years, or 8 weeks or whatever.

⛤ STORYBOOK.

Once you've got all the rest together, you start telling the story, starting in the past then switching into the present and then future, based on where the querent is. I've always read it that the nearer the querent, the more present it is. Remember, if the Querent faces the Left, you read Right-to-Left; if the Querent faces the Right, you read Left-to-Right.

[marias-new-blog-ig]

Captain underpants characters as things that happened to me at school

George - Being forced to write lines in detention but getting super bored so I tried to hold as many pens as physically possible in one hand and write with them all at once which only made the handwriting even more atrocious than it already was so I had to write the lines all over again

Harold - Teacher asking me "how can you be so good at drawing but have such awful handwriting?"

Melvin - My classical studies teacher calling me a nerd and telling me to go away and talk to my friends because I was annoying her with how much I was yapping about the field trip we were going on (classical antiquity was my hyperfixation at the time and I was a bit over-excited to learn)

Mr. Krupp - Teacher forcing me to go through my entire workbook with correction fluid and whiteout every single little drawing and doodle I'd done in it. She wasn't even my teacher.

Captain Underpants - Playing around with my chair in class and SOMEHOW ending up getting my head and arms stuck in the gap between the seat and the backrest so the teacher had to physically pull me out of it

Professor Poopypants - When I was literally BLEEDING out of a big cut on my arm during a science exam and my science teacher made me wait until after the exam was finished to go to the nurse so my test paper had a bunch of blood stains on it (and I failed anyway so what was even the point)

Edith - My friend trying to do the cup song with a pottle of yogurt at lunchtime and when she smacked it on the ground it exploded and we all got covered in yogurt

Kipper - Getting in a fight with a classmate and giving him a black eye so the school called my parents and when I got home my dad was like "Did you give some kid a black eye today?... Good on you! I'm so proud of you" (I DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE BTW i was like 10 when this happened)

Ms. Ribble (before she became nice) - Random teacher I didn't even know screaming at me and taking a photo of me on his phone without my permission just because I was wearing a bracelet

Mr. Meaner - The whole class trying to figure out how old our teacher was by asking evasive questions and someone asked "how old were you when they landed on the moon?" to which she replied; "Oh you guys don't really believe they landed on the moon, do you?" so we spent the next 30 minutes arguing with her about whether or not the moon landing was fake

Ms. Calculator - Teacher laughing at me and calling me stupid in front of the whole class because I answered a math question wrong

Harold (again) - Teacher throwing my workbook at me because I drew a picture of a bird on one page

George - Getting told off for feeding the seagulls at lunchtime and attracting a huge crowd of like 80 seagulls into the courtyard

Captain Underpants - Learning how to make balloon animals for an art class project so I decided to practice in the library one day during my free period but it was super quiet so in the near silence of the library you could just hear the sound of balloons squeaking and my friends desperately trying not to piss themselves with laughter

[canidae-latrans]

🍂✮ -⃝⃤✮🌾🐾🪵✮ -⃝⃤✮🌲🐾🏕️✮ -⃝⃤✮⛰️

About Me!!

🐾 — Howdy! My name is Hound, Kipper, or Kip, and I’m a coyote and hound-breed dog therian!

🌾 — I use he/they/it pronouns, as well as canine neopronouns; I’m transmasc nonbinary, and a butch lesbian/neptunic :3

🪵 — I’m a minor!! NSFW/18+ only blogs need not interact, but I’m fine with chatting with folks of all ages as long as they’re chill with chatting with me.

🌔 — I’m ethnically, culturally, and religiously Ashkenazi Jewish; alongside my other queer identities I identify as נברא בין השמשות/Nivrah Bein HaShmashot (“born between the suns”), which is an umbrella term for queer Jews that you can learn more about here!!

⛰️ I’m an artist and (extremely) beginner quadrobist; my askbox is currently open for requests for therian/alterhuman icon edits, moodboards, and more!

Outside of my therianthropy, my interests include:

⭐️ Biology, genetics, canines/canids, and environmental science

⭐️ Linguistics and anthropology

⭐️ Indie/folk punk music (I love The Crane Wives, MGMT, The Mountain Goats, Modest Mouse, and Bronze Radio Return :3)

⭐️ Sci-fi and fantasy literature (my all-time favorite books are Neuromancer, Seveneves, Nettle & Bone, When The Angels Left The Old Country, Station Eleven, and the Inheritance Cycle!!)

⭐️ CoD: Black Ops, Black Ops Cold War, and Ghosts

⭐️ Supernatural (as in, the 2005 CW show :P)

⭐️ Legion (FX, 2017)

Feel free to send me asks or DM me if you want to chat!! I’m hoping to make more therian/alterhuman friends :D

(I follow and interact from my main blog, @yell-hound; if you want to hear me howl about Judaism and fandom stuff, you can find my posts about those topics there!!)

[xkittzkornerx]

Joining in solidarity with Chappell Roan: I also do not want children. I’ve been fighting like hell to get sterilized ASAP because I hate the concept of pregnancy, birth, and having to care for a baby. I’m not physically or mentally capable of handling that shit and that is okay. Every mother I see with small children looks like she is on her deathbed. My own mother went through fucking hell and is still struggling. She hasn’t been able to afford dental insurance or mental health services because the family has to save for the children’s care (me and my sibling).

It doesn’t mean I’m for coerced abortions or that I don’t see mothers as strong, because I do. They blow my mind every day. I could never do that. I see these women as strong and want them to have as many helpful resources as possible. I want them to have proper and accessible healthcare. I want them to have paid time off. When people mom shame it boils my blood. When fathers slack off my blood pressure rises.

It doesn’t mean I hate children. I think adults fail children by just having them to have them and it hurts my heart thinking about all the disowned, abused, neglected, last considered, and otherwise mistreated kids in the world. The way couples treat possible adoptees like smart phones, only wanting the New Shiny Babies while they disregard the ones ages 10+ is gross. The fact that our kids are not being taught to read and write makes me incredibly sad. The fact that they’re watching overstimulating, non-educational brainrot instead of content that I grew up with like Franklin, Little Bear, Kipper, Arthur, and classic Disney animation worries me.

I just don’t like babies. I don’t hate them, I just don’t like them. I don’t see their appeal and I never have. They shit themselves and scream 24/7. They aren’t that cute. The age that I learned what pregnancy was and that I had the organs to do that, I wanted to gut myself. It was petrifying. I’m abstinent for this reason. To be sterilized, for me, is to finally be free; pregnancy and birth would be torture.

That doesn’t mean I don’t support other women who do want babies and do want to become stay-at-home moms. Your happiness is your happiness, it’s just that it isn’t mine.

Some of y’all are very insecure and register other women wanting a different life than yours as them judging you, and you’d never attack a man who doesn’t want kids the way you do a woman. Some of you also just had children because you felt an incredible social pressure to do so, and now you are bitter because you’re seeing all these young women have the balls to tell patriarchal society to fuck off.

It pisses you off that you didn’t realize in time that you had every right to say no and make your own choices for your body and life. You are rightfully pissed off.

It angers me that you felt like you had no choice.

It is not, however, my fault that you didn’t.

[ask-the-young-nor-westers]

Just a Bad Dream

Description: Henry has a bad dream about his being locked in the tunnel once again. Little did he know that he would get some advice from his new driver, Correlle, as well as an unexpected story.

Words: How the fuck should I know? I haven't been keeping track LOL (jk jk).

"We shall leave you here for always and always and always."

Those words spoken by the Fat Director echoed in Henry's smokebox as he slept restlessly. Every year on the anniversary of him being locked in the Ballahoo tunnel, Henry would often have the same wretched dreams of the incident.

Of course, Henry had learned his lesson. He learned it quite well to the point where he hated any reminder of it. He despised the long days he spent, locked away in that brick tunnel; All on his own without anyone to talk to. It nearly drove him mad. After being let out, he knew better to be vain about his paintwork. After all, that was James' shtick now; not his.

But every time he had that wretched dream, he was scared to death. He never wanted to be locked away like that again.

"No.... No, I don't want to be alone. Not again..." He thought as the Fat Director solemnly proclaimed those words. He would have moved from the tunnel in his dream, but he couldn't make himself do so. Year after year, he tried and tried to prove the "Fat Director" wrong; that he was willing to move; he was willing to leave the tunnel. But some force prevented him from doing it. No matter how much he begged and pleaded, he had to witness the same sight of workmen bricking him up in that god-forsaken tunnel. He would have had to do it again, if not for a sudden echo.

"Henry? Henry, you okay?" The voice sounded familiar, yet it didn't belong in his dream. "Henry?! Henry, wake up!!" At that, his eyes shot open and darted around until he saw his driver, Correlle, standing in front of him. She was already dressed for work, yet her hair was somewhat a mess, and she looked like she had just tumbled out of bed.

"C-correlle?" he asked, looking down at her in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sleeping over, remember?" the young American reminded him, gesturing to the empty cot on the platform next to his berth, "We have the Kipper in a few hours."

"Oh…. right…" Henry blinked. He felt his eyes grow watery as he tried to keep his composure.

"Henry… what's wrong?" Correlle looked up at her engine worriedly, "You were shaking like a leaf." There was a brief silence that followed, as Henry was debating how to answer.

Correlle Hemsworth had only been working with Henry for about 2 months and she was still learning things about her new friend. That included his likes and dislikes. While she did poke fun at him from time to time, she knew when too far was too far. Even though she didn't know Henry as well as she would have liked, she could tell he was agitated. She knew from his fireman, Ted, that it took a while for Henry to open up to anyone new that entered his life.

"It's only early days," he had said, "and Henry doesn't open up to just anyone right away. He has to trust you first."

Correlle always remembered this, as she wanted to be a good driver that respected her engine's boundaries. While she didn't want to force him to open up, she also didn't want Henry to suffer whatever it was that was bothering him. At least on his own. After all, this was her first real time seeing Henry cry. It was heartbreaking, but she didn't say that aloud.

Henry himself seemed to recognize his new driver's genuine worry and did his best to compose himself. After all, if the other sleeping engines around him would never let him hear the end of it if they saw him like this, then how would his driver look at him?

"I'm alright…" He sighed as he took a deep breath. That didn't stop the tears from falling though.

"Henry… I'm not one to tell you how to feel, but you're definitely not alright." Correlle stated quietly, "I know that since I'm new, you don't trust me as much, but I still want to help you." At this, she placed a hand on one of his buffers. "Whatever is bothering you, I won't tell a soul. Not even if they cut my arms off." Henry was silent for a few minutes, mulling this over. That last part of her statement had been a bit brutal, but then again many Americans were, if they wanted to be.

One of the most important qualities that Sir Richard Hatt considered when it came to electing who drove what engine, is the capability of the driver to be there for their engine

"Encourage them to do good and discourage them to do bad; Be there for them in both good and bad times." He had proclaimed to the "Young Nor' Westers" on their first day of work.

While it may have been their first time learning it, Every engine on the North-Western Railway knew this philosophy was a given fact. Not only that, but it was a creed of sorts for the crews. Of course, it did take time for the engines to come to trust their crews, and Henry was no exception to this.

When he first met Correlle, she seemed nervous, as if she was tip-toeing around the engines she was learning to work with. It took time for her to shed her shyness and show her spunky, spirited nature. When she did, Henry found that he enjoyed it.

Not only that, but so far she had followed "the creed" to a T; She had encouraged and discouraged him on many different occasions, as well as spent many good times with him. Now she was passing the real test; being there for him when he was having a hard time with something. In this case, it was one of his personal demons.

Henry knew the genuineness of her words because he could see the sincerity in her eyes, even in the dark. Plus he knew Correlle wasn't the type to gossip. Sure she chattered and rambled like the troublesome trucks did at times, but she never spilled any secrets. Bearing all of this in mind, he took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Every year… there's this bad dream that haunts me." He admitted, looking upset, and a bit embarressed. "I don't know if you heard of this story, but years ago... my pride ended up with me being bricked up inside a tunnel."

"Oh… wait, you mean that little rhyme that Percy sometimes teases you with? The one about an engine being afraid of the rain and--"

"Yes, yes, that rhyme…" Henry quickly cut her short before he continued shakily, "Only in my case, that damn rhyme is a nightmare. And that same nightmare comes back every year. I'm in the Ballahoo Tunnel, just sitting there, with a line of coaches behind me. I've tried moving out of that damn tunnel, I truly have. Heavens knows I've tried. But something won't let me…" Henry looked down at his running board, seeing the two dots of water that just sat there, right beneath where his eyes would have been.

"Oh Henry…" Correlle looked sad as she climbed up and sat down next to his smokebox face. She often sat up next to him on her breaks, just dinking on her phone or just relaxing. Usually she had to take care because his boiler was hotter then fire itself. But now that his boiler was cool, she placed a hand on the outer black. The steel was cold as ice. So much so, she could almost feel what he was feeling; Scared and alone.

"I keep being told that I would be kept in the tunnel for always and always. Being stuck in there for a few weeks was hell enough, but… forever??" Henry looked petrified at the thought. "It's almost as bad as being scrapped… maybe even worse." Correlle listened quietly to everything he was saying. After a few minutes of thinking, she spoke up.

"Who was the one who told you that you would be stuck in that tunnel forever?"

"The Fat Director… He was the first one in charge of the NWR, back in the 1900s. He wasn't exactly a kind-natured man… He didn't even want me…"

"Why didn't he want you?"

"I wasn't the engine he ordered. When I came to this island, the Fat Director was angry. He claimed he wanted an Atlantic, but instead…"

"Instead he got you?"

"Yes." there was a brief pause before he continued, "I… I was a mistake." Henry looked ashamed as he said this, "I was an experimental engine. I was built with a very small firebox, so I couldn't be steamed properly. I half-expected the Fat Director to scrap me because of it." There were a few minutes of silence before Correlle spoke up again.

"Henry…. You're not a mistake." She said in a quiet yet firm tone.

"Well… of course you would say that. You're my driver."

"I'm not saying it as your driver. I'm saying it as your friend. You're not the one to be blamed for how you were built. You didn't even ask to be built; you just were. It's the same way with humans. I didn't ask to be born; I just was born. People can blame us for existing all they want, but it doesn't change the fact that we're still here. All of us here…. engine and humans alike, we're all misfits in one way or another."

"Misfits?"

"It's a word that means you're outwardly different in some way that makes society think you don't fit into it's norms."

"I see… is that a bad thing?"

"No way. Misfits can be wonderful people. Same with engines. They're just built in a way that people don't understand at first. Misfit as you are, you gave a lot and showed the railway that you deserve to be here. And no bad dream is going to change that." Correlle just gave an encouraging smile, "I think the Fat Director knew that too, even if he was the one who punished you to stay in that tunnel."

Henry thought a bit on that. It was true that the Fat Director had locked him in the tunnel, but he also was the one who let Henry out, even if it was a last resort. Plus, he did give Henry the fair chance he needed to do his best on the NWR by buying him Welsh Coal for his poor steaming, as well as sending him to Crewe after his accident with the Flying Kipper. So he couldn't say that the Fat Director didn't care about him. But it did raise the question.

"Then… why do I keep seeing him telling me that I would stay in the tunnel for always and always?" He asked slowly. Correlle was thoughtful for a few minutes before she answered.

"I think that moment was the time you saw the Fat Director at his worst. He was angry and he said words he couldn't take back. I don't know for certain, since I wasn't around when this happened, but it's my best guess on why. I do know that whenever we do see people at their worst, it's imprinted in our minds, whether we want it there or not."

"I see…" Henry sighed, "Times like this I wish I could forget that time ever existed. I wouldn't have that damn nightmare if I remembered."

"I guess it's a curse with engines. You're timeless machines. From the moment you were built, you remember everything. But… that's not to say you can't conquer your nightmare."

"But I've tried moving from the tunnel and I couldn't make myself move. So how else can I conquer my bad dream?" Correlle, once again, went silent at this, the wheels in her head turning until she snapped her fingers.

"Have you ever heard of lucid dreaming?"

"No. What is that?"

"It's where you can control what you do in your dreams. Most of the time, when we dream, we have little to no control over what we do. One example of that is sometimes I dream that I'm stuck on a snowy mountain and I can barely stand on my own two feet. But if you train your mind enough, you can be conscious enough to the point where you remember that you're stuck in a dream and you can do what you want."

"So… you suggest that I lucid dream?"

"Something like that. When you have the nightmare again, just take a deep breath and remember that you're dreaming. That you can do whatever you want and if you want to move from that tunnel, then you can. Remember that you have nothing holding you back, other then the obsticles you give yourself." Correlle patted the side of his boiler, giving him a small smile. Henry felt better at this idea.

"I'll remember this for the future." He said quietly.

"That's the Henry I know." Correlle beamed before she suddenly yawned. Henry couldn't help but smile a little at this.

"If you want to return to your cot, you can."

"Eh… I'm fine here. At least until you go to sleep again." Correlle just tiredly leaned against the side of his boiler. Henry could sense the exhaust in her voice, but it wasn't because of how tired she was or how late it was. It was something else. A brief period of silence hung in the air before Correlle spoke up again. "You know… I was debating on whether I should tell you this, but…"

"But?" the Green engine raised an eyebrow.

"I know how it feels… not being wanted." she smiled sadly as she looked at the hairband she had wrapped around her right wrist. "My case is probably not as bad as yours, but… before I came to Sodor, I grew up with my grandparents on their ranch in Colorado. My Dad was never in my life because… well… at first it was hard for him to be there, given that my mother had passed away when she gave birth to me. But when he started coming to see me more and more, he just… he didn't seem to like me for some reason."

"That's terrible…" Henry said quietly.

"I never knew what that reason was. Every time my Dad came to see me, he just… looked disappointed. I didn't know why at the time, and I always was hard on myself because of it. It didn't stop him from inserting himself in my life, even when it seemed like he didn't like me. I always thought that he had a hard time being near me because I might have reminded him of my mom. But later as I got older, I began to realize the reason was… well…" Correlle took a deep breath, holding tears of her own back, "I wasn't the daughter he wanted." Henry was aghast at this.

"What do you mean by that?" He managed to ask after a few minutes. He sounded breathless, as if he saw that his whole forest had been cut up just for the thrill of it.

"I mean just that. Just like you were the engine that the Fat Director didn't want at the time, I wasn't the daughter my Dad wanted. He tried hard to get me to be like him, but… I was just different. I didn't like the same things he did and to him, that wasn't enough. Unlike you, I wasn't really given a fair chance. After an accident I got into that was…. well, my Dad's fault, he just up and left. Like he just gave up. I thought that would be the end of it. Until…"

"Until?"

"He dragged me back into his life. Right before I turned 18 too. Then I came here to Sodor and joined the Railway here to get away from him." Correlle wiped her eyes of what tears she had, "I wasn't sure I would even make it to this point, or even do a good job. But in the process, I met someone who was just like me. At least in a few ways."

"I can attest to that." Henry smiled a bit, "Admittedly, I was a bit worried, as since you were younger then the drivers I had years prior, I thought things would turn sideways. But you're doing a wonderful job as my driver. You're likely the best I've had in a long while."

"Aww… thanks you." Correlle patted his boiler again, giving him a broad smile, "I was scared at first, given that I've never handled an Iron Horse before, but like my Grandpa Davis said, as long as you're confident in yourself and the engine, things get easy."

"Well, he's not wrong." Henry sighed as he looked at the sky through the glass ceiling of Tidmouth sheds, "Some misfits we are."

"True." Correlle smiled a bit, "But, if given a choice, there's no misfit in the world that trumps you."

"Same for you, but as my driver." Henry suddenly felt a hefty yawn come over him, "We should get some sleep. I don't think we have much longer before the Firelighter comes."

"True." Correlle yawned, "Plus, I feel kinda… *yawn* drowsy myself…"

"I can tell. You care barely keep your eyes open." Henry chuckled tiredly, "Back to your cot. I'll be fine."

"If you say so." Correlle sleepily tumbled off of his front buffer beam and ambled back to her cot. Henry could hear her grunt as she fell face-first into the somewhat flat pillow she used. The second he heard her faint breathing, a sign she fell asleep, he yawned and closed his eyes himself. The nightmare was well out of his mind by now, so he knew what little rest he would get until the time came to pull the Flying Kipper would help him in the long run.

Primary Blog || Art Blog || Speedpaint || Kofi || Artistree

[pixeldistractions]

June 2088. (previously)

Jordan’s ten years with Colette had been a cacophony of ’no’s’.

“No, don’t come to bed after ten. It wakes me up and I can’t fall back asleep. Don’t get in my bed without a shower. Don’t get in my bed wet. No naps, either. You know what? The couch is fine for you, isn’t it?”

“No more tattoos. They’re trashy.”

“No, we’re not getting a bigger truck because no, you’re not getting a camper. I don’t want a camper outside my house. That’s trashy.”

“No, I hate that music. I hate that music, too. I just hate music. All music.”

“No, we’re not getting a dog. No, not a cat, either. A chicken? Are you fucking kidding me? Where the hell are we gonna put a goddamn chicken?!?”

“No work clothes in the house. No tools, either. I hate your clothes—you dress like a homeless man.”

“No campfires. Ew, I can smell it on you for days.”

“No kippers in the house. Ew, no kippers at work either. No kippers ever. I can smell them before you even eat them, and it makes me want to vomit.”

So when he came to her with this idea, he had little faith that she would say yes.

The boys were in the living room with a cartoon, and Colette was at the dining room table with her laptop. Jordan sat down.

She looked up from her work with a sneer. “What?”

“I want to take the boys on a backpacking trip,” Jordan said. “Banff, it’s in Canada. It’s a two-day drive.”

Go big or go home.

He held his breath.

“So you’re not working?” Colette asked. “Is she paying you for all this time off?”

“She is, actually.”

“Huh.” Then he saw the wheels of her brain turning, doing the math. An ask this big would cost him. Did he want to pay the price? After some consideration, Colette let out a patronizing chuckle, “Well, good luck with that.”

She didn’t say no. He was surprised, but also not.

Maybe she didn’t believe he would actually do it. Or maybe she’d hold it against him as ammunition. She did this sometimes. When she knew her razor sharp attitude had run away from her for too long, she offered a little peace treaty, as if to say, Remember that time I let you take the boys backpacking in Canada? Remember that? And she would remind him of that small grace for the rest of his life.

But he intended to take this grace, and he would run with it.

The boys needed no convincing. They minded their father, fetching this and that from whatever corner of the house, making a monstrous pile by the door. Then, before she could complain about it, both the pile and the boys were gone in a blitz, leaving only the movie they hadn’t been watching with its credits rolling.

With the boys out of her hair for two weeks, Colette felt adrift. Since they were on their own vacation, she thought she should treat herself to a few days off as well.

The first few hours, the first whole day, she reveled in the novelty of having only herself to worry about. She day-drank a whole bottle of rosé while watching HGTV in her bathrobe.

He was mad. He’d been mad for months. Why? She didn’t know, she didn’t ask, and she wasn’t sure she really cared. Mad was what they did with each other. But what Colette knew was that they never really broke up because they were never exactly together, which meant they never needed to make up because they never broke up in the first place. He would get over it, eventually. And maybe this time away would help.

Maybe she even owed him this little favor because he always wanted to be a scout dad. “No, that’s stupid. They don’t need that,” she’d said. She wanted the boys in academic triathlon instead. What good is learning to make a campfire as opposed to world diplomacy? High school was coming for them faster than they realized. You get on the wrong track, and your prospects were sunk. Colette knew better than anyone how one wrong choice in your youth could destroy all your hopes and dreams.

But sure, go light campfires in the wilderness for a couple of weeks, if you must.

You have to throw the dog a bone sometimes.

Colette stayed up late, binging crime dramas. With no chance of little boys barging into her room, she slept naked in her bed long into the morning. Then she took herself out for lunch at the kind of place you couldn’t bring nine-year-olds.

Not that she didn’t worry. She questioned Jordan’s parenting skills. She sent them off with a notebook of rules and phone numbers, and she was sure they’d already tucked it under the front seat of the truck where it would stay until the day they returned. Would the boys come back bruised and burnt and eaten alive by who knows what creatures? Would they catch rashes and intestinal parasites from drinking river water? The hiking, the falls, the wildfires, the hot springs full of boiling acid that dumb souls have ventured too close to and took their last bath. She doubted whether Jordan had ever even seen those news stories.

“I’m not an idiot,” Jordan promised. But, huh, she’d be the judge of that when he brought those boys back in one piece.

To be honest, she hated taking time off. She was bored and irritated and could never really relax. So she went back to work.

— “why are you here? #2: little sparks catch fire” part 5/6

author’s note: bonus points for actually asking her for a chicken though, right? 😂🤣😂

Next -> // WAYH #2 start // index

[wordsandrobots]

I am debating how much I actually want to do the provocative 'Gundam ZZ is the best of the original run' post.

I know it's the one I like the most, for reasons less to do with quality and more based on the relatively lower proportion of characters I want to hit around the face with a a wet kipper compared to the previous shows. There are grounds, I think, to argue it's much better plotted and far more coherently structured, lending a greater focus to its themes -- which makes sense for a variety of reasons, not least that it's the third and you'd expect somebody to have learned something from the last two. And, quite significantly, while it is still blighted by sexism, it does at least give its female characters an increased base level of competency that takes some of the sting out of it.

(I spit nails of Emma being repeatedly jobbed to let Kamille play hero, and while I am more forgiving about Fa's characterisation, Zeta still has nothing that quite compares to letting her save the day in half a mobile suit even while acknowledging she *really doesn't want to be a pilot*. Elle, Roux, Ple, Masai, and even Emary all get to be good at the roles they are in. When they screw up, it seems much less arbitrary and much more like the writers are coming up with good reasons for them to be at a disadvantage. Hell, Leina turns Glemy's whole high-society schtick back on him at the climax of her arc, and she is almost entirely a plot device. And of course there's Haman being Judau's ultimate nemesis, and she's a *good villain with lots to do*.)

(How much you feel Chara takes points off for this will vary.)

Above all, it does a remarkably good job of grounding Neo Zeon in the exploitation and indoctrination of young people, and in nice, clean ideals that are really just a thin veneer over a fragile need for control. Like, it is admirable how well Mashymre's goofiness is paired with a streak of real nastiness in outlook that prefigures Glemy's development and the ways he will ultimately do anything for power -- and how Mashymre himself gets stripped down so that following Haman is all that matters and it's no longer a joke.

I'm not sure I'd say ZZ manages to land the transition from comedy to seriousness. It does sort of do a slow collapse from one to the other, but at some point it's more like a switch being pulled (and it's not quite at Dublin, either, more around Masai's Heart). But the use of fascistic pomposity paired with some genuinely striking depictions of what that world-view leads people to do is very much to the show's credit.

(Also, I'm still chewing on the realisation that what happens to Emary mirrors Mashymre and Chara in some interesting ways that dovetails with the usual ambiguity towards the 'better' side in the conflict.)

But, but, but. ZZ remains much more typical in its approach. Judau is less prickly a character than either Amuro or Kamille, in ways that kind of take away from the fact he's also the one who gets to scare Haman witless for a second by manifesting the kind of monstrous aura we first saw with Dozle. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching him more than the other two, like the show overall. I still wouldn't claim he's as ambitious a concept, and that holds for much of the rest, too.

So it ultimately feels like we're trading more interesting ideas for technical competency and greater entertainment. Which . . . yeah. I can't discount the former. Certainly, despite the increase in Newtype nonsense, ZZ never quite hits the psychedelia notes of the original Gundam, which I think is to its detriment.

Ah well. Even if I don't try to start fights over this, it may lead to some fanfic (by which I mean I have 1000 words of Leina and Sayla having a conversation that might be worked up into something sometime).