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undercoveravenger · 3 years

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Closing Cases

Written for my 2021 Halloween event

Pairing: EJ Caswell x Male!Detective!Reader

Prompt: EJ with a Nancy Drew/Scooby gang reader investigating something haunting the school and EJ steps up to help. With “I am running on two hours of sleep and fifty tiny candy bars” and “Can we go five minutes without talking about ghosts, ghouls, or goblins?”

A/N: This is prompt # 2 for my Halloween event! The next prompt will be posted Thursday, October 7th.

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East High was being faced by an unexplainable problem. Each night, lockers were being broken into and various class and club rooms had been found vandalized. The faculty had examined the footage from all of the security cameras near the areas that had been attacked, but weren’t able to see anyone in the videos; only that the halls looked normal in one frame, and had been trashed in the next.

As someone who had spent his entire childhood looking up to all of the great detectives, you took it upon yourself to get to the bottom of the situation. You had told Miss Jen, the theater teacher, that you’d be missing rehearsals one afternoon in order to conduct your investigation, but she had been the only person you told.

You supposed that was why it came as such a shock to find EJ Caswell, a popular senior and star of the water polo team and drama department, leaning against the locker beside yours after school.

You disregarded his presence, moving to open your locker and tuck away your textbooks.

“So I hear you’re not going to be at rehearsals today,” EJ said after a moment, turning to face you. “Care to share why?”

“I’ve got more important things to do,” you said easily. You knew it was kind of a weak response, but it was the first thing that’d come to mind.

He rolled his eyes, lips quirking up into a grin. “Yeah, we both do, I guess.”

That gave you pause. You turned to look at him incredulously, and you had to force yourself to ignore the way the amused glint in his pretty blue eyes threatened to make you smile. “Excuse me?”

“You’re investigating the break-ins, right?” EJ asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you.

“I’m not convinced that they have been break-ins, but yes,” you said, grabbing a different backpack entirely out of your locker and leaving the one with your school supplies in it before shutting the door. “Is there a reason you’re talking to me?” You turned away at that, making your way down the quickly emptying halls.

EJ scrambled to keep pace with you, weaving around the remaining students and faculty to stay at your side. “I want to help! I’ll be the first to say I don’t really have experience with investigations, but I want to help stop what’s going on.”

You let out a sigh, turning abruptly to face EJ. “Fine. You can help,” you held up a hand to interrupt him when he made to let out a victorious whoop, “But if you get in the way of my investigation, I will tell you to leave and you will listen. Do we have a deal?”

The brunet nodded vigorously, falling back into step beside you as you resumed your previous path, “Deal. So,” he said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “Where do we start?”

“Here,” you said as you came to a stop outside of a janitor’s closet on the second floor.

EJ’s brows furrowed in obvious confusion. “Our investigation starts at the janitor’s closet?”

You nodded, twisting the door open and entering the small room. You sat down, nestling your way between a set of shelves and several empty garbage cans. “Well, this is where we’ll be waiting until the time is right.”

“And when is that?” he asked as he crept into the closet with you, wincing as the door slammed closed behind him.

You snickered, pulling out your phone to set an alarm. “Well, the thief only strikes at night, right? They’ll probably emerge at around nine o’clock, which means we have,” you glanced back at your phone, “About five hours to kill.”

“Five hours?” EJ asked incredulously, blue eyes wide as he looked at you. “What the hell are we going to do for five hours?!”

“Well, I was going to play games on my phone since I wasn’t planning on having company until a few minutes ago,” you said, glancing pointedly down at the device. “You’re still more than welcome to leave, if you don’t want to wait?”

EJ shook his head stubbornly, shifting to sit with his back against the opposite wall from you. “No, but my phone definitely isn’t going to hold up for that long.” He paused, thinking, “Maybe we could play twenty questions while we wait?”

You shrugged, figuring that humoring a cute boy wouldn’t kill you. “Alright, sure. But since it was your idea, you have to go first.”

He smiled widely, clearly delighted that you’d agreed. “Okay!” He hesitated for a moment while he thought, but a question seemed to strike him pretty quickly. “So, do you make it a point to hang out in sketchy janitor’s closets often?”

You barely managed to bite back a snicker, but the upward tilt of EJ’s lips made you suspect that he knew about your poorly concealed amusement. “I do when my cases require it,” you said by means of explanation, but you found yourself elaborating further at the confused-puppy expression on his face. “Today’s a Tuesday, which means that the cleaning staff isn’t in tonight, so no one will be checking this closet for stragglers like they would the library or a classroom. Waiting in here means that I’ll be able to remain in the building after the doors are locked, which means that I’ll be able to find out if anyone else comes into the building after it’s locked down for the night.”

“Wow,” EJ said, eyes wide as he processed everything you’d just said. “You put a lot more planning into this than I would’ve thought?”

“What, you thought I’d just wing it?” you teased. You had to admit, you were enjoying his company far more than you had anticipated. “I like to think that I take my job pretty seriously.”

He gestured wildly with his hands, like he was trying to wave away his previous words. “No, no, no; that’s not what I meant- I meant that-” He cut himself off as he noticed you beginning to laugh, “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” He faked offense, but the appearance of his dimples gave away his amusement. “Fine, you got me.” His grin widened as he looked at you, “Alright, Mr. Holmes, what’s your leading theory?”

You let out a thoughtful hum, “Currently? Vengeful spirits.”

EJ let out a surprised laugh. It was deep, uncontrollable and infectious, and you were helpless to hide the grin it brought to your face, though it faded after a moment, “You’re serious?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure what else to think,” you started softly, fingers twisting nervously in your lap as you were forced to admit that, for once, you really weren’t sure about what the outcome of your case would be. “Any normal person would have been caught on camera, and the only people in this city that have the ability to manipulate the footage to make it look like no one was there either wouldn’t care enough to do it or they’ve got an alibi.”

EJ’s brows furrowed, “And none of them could have lied about the alibis?”

“Mr. Mazzara could’ve, I suppose,” you mused, “But I double-checked it with Miss Jenn and it sounds legit.”

“So ghosts then, huh?” he prompted, scooting a little closer to you until his knees brushed lightly against yours. “Seems like a little bit of a leap in logic.”

You shrugged helplessly, a tired grin forming on your lips, “I am running on two hours of sleep and fifty tiny candy bars. Ghosts weren’t the least probable option, if I’m being honest.”

“How would you even get rid of a ghost-” He stopped as the rest of your statement caught up to him, “Wait, you’ve had fifty candy bars?!”

“Just the little ones.” You said, waving off his concern and checking the time on your phone. “Depends on the type of spirit, but I’ve talked to some sophomores who practice witchcraft and they say that sage and pure intention to banish it should take care of whatever we’re seeing, as long as it’s a normal ghost or spirit. I just want to eliminate any other options before I take action.”

“Can we go five minutes without talking about ghosts, ghouls, or goblins?” EJ demanded, taking your phone from you and setting it aside so he could get you to focus on him, “You’ve gotta take better care of yourself,” he said quietly, normally bright eyes turned stormy with concern, “You’ve got a lot of people that care about you-”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Like who?” At his stunned silence, you pressed on, “Everyone at this school thinks I’m a weirdo. You don’t think I’ve heard people call me Scooby-Doo or Nancy Drew or Sherlock?” You shook your head, pushing yourself to your feet as your frustration mounted, “This was a mistake. I’m leaving; I’ll solve this case on my own.”

“Wait,” EJ exclaimed, shooting up to his feet and grabbing your wrist to stop you from going. “You’re wrong.”

“I’m wrong?” you asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow as you looked up at EJ. “About what part?”

He nodded seriously, eyes locked with yours, “About no one caring about you and about everyone thinking you’re weird.” He took a deep breath, and, for the first time since he’d joined your investigation, you watched his confident facade falter. “I care about you,” he started softly, like he was afraid to finally say it. “And I really like that you’re so passionate about solving mysteries.”

Your brows furrowed as you turned to look back at him, “You… like that?”

“I like you,” he said, so quiet that he was barely audible, but when you didn’t pull away he continued, volume picking up as he did so, “I really like you and I can’t believe I get to help you do something I love, and that probably sounds pretty dumb since we don’t really know each other that well, but I would really like to get to know you better and maybe even take you out to dinner sometime if that’s okay with you?”

It took you a long moment to find your voice again. “Okay,” you found yourself saying as you tugged your wrist from his grip to link your fingers with his instead. “Okay,” A wide smile spread across EJ’s face and you could feel an answering one as it tugged at your lips, “When we close this case, I’ll let you take me on a date.”

“Really?” he asked, like he almost expected you to tell him it was some cruel joke. He let out a breathless laugh when you nodded, “Then what are we waiting for?” he asked joyfully, tugging you towards the door by your joined hands. “We’ve got a case to solve!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you were led out into the long-abandoned halls of East High, glad to have finally found someone who matched you. After all, all the greats came in pairs; Daphne had Fred, Sherlock had Watson, and now you had EJ.

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crhinge · 3 years

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Breaking Down The Classic Rom-Com

I feel like I haven’t written a fun post in a hot sec so lets talk about one of my favorite subjects: Rom Coms

According to wikipedia, a Rom Com, also known as Romantic Comedy, is “a subgenre of comedy and slice-of-life fiction, focusing on lighthearted, humorous plot lines centered on romantic ideas, such as how true love is able to surmount most obstacles.” In the past, Romantic Comedies have also been called “Chick Flicks” but I think this is devaluing of both women and the romantic comedy genre.

The other day, I woke up to find that the most wholesome rom-com couple of all time reunited: Matty & Jenna (Aka Mark Ruffalo & Jennifer Garner). This got me thinking about the beauty of the Rom-Com and how unappreciated they can be. It has been years since we have seen a rom-com with the cultural impact of 13 Going on 30, and I would like to petition for more of them after a sad and painful year.

I can already hear the millions (in my head this blog is extremely popular) of comments “What about To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before?!?” “What about The Kissing Booth?!?” And too that I say, "Good Riddance!” If you’re rating your rom coms on a TATBILB scale, or even WORSE The Kissing booth, I feel sorry for you. Truly I do. So let's dive into the best Rom Coms of all time, but first...

What makes a Rom-Com good? Well let's start with a relatable as hell main character. I am talking a girl (sometimes guy), who has many flaws, but the audience can see themselves within her/him. Let's use Jenna Rink from 13 Going On 30 as an example. Well, she's literally a 13 year old in a 30 year olds body, but don’t we all still have a preteen hiding inside of all of us? She is 100% willing to be herself at every step, even if that means dancing thriller all alone. She touches on all of our insecurities, while teaching us how to break down our walls.

Rom-Coms also need characters to make realistic choices. This does not mean that the movie itself is realistic, but rather than you can understand the choices the characters make. Again, 13 going on 30 does a fabulous job of this. Obviously, Jenna traveling in time because of wishing powder is not realistic, but the choices that her and her past self make are. Due to the insecurities of her childhood and a need to feel included, relevant, and powerful Jenna pushes important people out of her life, which happens to so many people in the real world. These decisions force her to miss out on the love of her life, and ultimately, the story ends sadly: the love of her life marries someone else and she is left with tears, wishing powder, and an old doll house. That is until she is able to travel back in time and change the course of her life.

Lastly, Every classic Rom-Com couple needs to have chemistry. There. I said it. Hollywood loves just casting random famous actors without giving them a proper chemistry read. One great example of this is Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel in Safe Haven. Both fun, famous, Hollywood actors who have zero chemistry. Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner had more chemistry throwing back Razzles than those two did during an intimate sex scene.

Alright, now that we have broken down the requirements of a Romantic Comedy, let's jump into the best and worst of all time.

Best: When Harry Met Sally. 9/10. A classic. A tale as old as time. Both Sally & Harry are very flawed, yet relatable characters. Sally is too picky and particular, while Harry is a player. They both suck at relationships, but make rational decisions based on their motivations. We all have friends like these two and their chemistry is on point, both on a friendship and romantic level. They bounce off of one another splendidly.

Worst: Sleepless in Seattle. 1/10 I know, this is a strong take, but this is a terrible movie about a stalker. Meg Ryan (I don’t even remember her character's name) is the stupidest most unrelatable character I have seen in a long time. She is extremely unlovable, cheats on her SO emotionally, and flies across the country to stalk a man that she has never met before. And then you’re telling me that Tom hanks FALLS FOR HER? Nope. No. I refuse to except this. Plus, their chemistry in this is pretty mediocre (You’ve Got Mail is Way Better) and we only get to see them together once.

Best: 10 Things I Hate About You. 8/10. I was tempted to leave all high School Rom-Coms off this list, but Heath Ledger is my exception. Talk about likability. Kat is a strong, powerful, independent woman who learns how to be more vulnerable while still being a feminist badass. We all wanted to be Kat growing up. Meanwhile Heath Ledger is the classic bad boy with a soft side, and who wasn’’t into that? Both characters grow into new people throughout the movie making them relatable, complex, and realistic. Not to mention the angel that is Joseph Gordon Levitt, who keeps the audience up beat and smiling throughout the course of this Shakespeare tale

Best: My Big fat Greek Wedding. 10/10. Have you seen this film recently? Because it is an absolute DELIGHT and so relatable. It dives into the difficulty of family expectation and cultures merging. It also has the cutest proposal of all time with a realistic couple that fights for one another on a daily basis. You laugh. You cry. You get a dynamic cast with wonderful chemistry. You feel invested in the family and the relationship. Just a joyful wonderful film.

Worst: Something Borrowed. 0/10. If you’ve never seen this movie, don’t. Ginnifer Goodwin sleeps with her best friends fiancé and we’re supposed to be okay with it because she liked him first. Hard pass. And she ignores John Krazinski who is right in front of her. She is unlikable, unreliable, and makes dumb decisions that no one else would.

Best: He’s just not that into you. 9/10 I will go to bat for this movie. It follows several realistic storylines in a Love Actually manor, except they actual seem legit. A woman realizing her boyfriend is never going to marry her. A girl facing the fact that maybe some guys just aren’t that into her, and she isn’t an exception to the rule. A man slowly making the decision to cheat on his wife as they are growing apart. A woman realizing that she is worth way more than her bastard husband. A woman realizing that the person she’s sleeping with will never leave his wife for her. It's compelling, has realistic characters that we can relate to, and still warms your heart in the end.

Best: The Big Sick. 8/10. Okay to be fair, this is based on a true story so it automatically has realistic characters and decisions. Maybe I should leave this off of the list, but I wish this film got the recognition it deserves. Two lovable main characters who make mistakes that are understandable. Wonderful chemistry between Kumail and his girlfriend as well as her family.

Best: About Time. 11/10 This is hands down the best Rom-Com of all time and Potentially the best film of all time as well. If you don’t cry in this movie you do not have a heart or soul. The characters are SO insanely likable and adorable.It touches on the importance of family and valuing time and how little of it we have. The chemistry within the whole cast is palpable, and we can all relate to at least one character, whether it is the protagonist Tim, his wife Mary, his sister Kit-Kat, or his father.

Well it is important to point out the obvious here: this list is lacking diversity in a huge way. All but one of these movies follow a cis, straight, white couple, and that is extremely concerning. People have attempted to make more diverse rom-coms over the past few years, but they all seem to be lacking one of the three core components of what makes a rom-com great: Relatable, realistic, and great chemistry. For example. Crazy Rich Asians was a fantastic film, but the high level of wealth that Nick Young comes from, made his character difficult to relate to, and I’m sorry but the chemistry just wasn’t there for me. Always Be My Maybe’s characters fell flat and it’s not a film I would want to watch more than once. Love Simon made some huge waves for LGBTQ representation in the media, but that ending kiss was unrealistic along with his friends reaction to fining out he was lying, which left the movie anti-climactic by the end.

Now, the most recent film on this list was made in 2017. And before that 2013. So where have all the Rom Coms gone? Why don’t we see more of them. There are a few Rom Coms that could be contenders on the “Best” list from the last couple of years that include a small amount of diversity:

Yesterday 7/10. The big question here is does this count as a romantic comedy? The love story isn’t the main plot, but is definitely a large sub-plot. This movie features an interracial couple and is highly re-watchable. The main characters are entertaining, relatable, and have pretty good chemistry. We will see if it stands the test of time.

The Broken Hearts Gallery 7/10. This movie has gotten NO recognition. The main character, Lucy, is an extremely likable 20 something, not unlike our Ginnifer Goodwin in He’s Just not that Into You. The plot is fun and predictable but keeps you watching. I don’t know if this one will stay on my list long, but it’s definitely up there.

But here is my challenge to Hollywood: create some new, beautiful Rom Coms that celebrate diversity but that don’t throw away the relatable, realistic, and high chemistry characters that we are just waiting to fall in love with. It’s got like 16 ideas up my sleeve, so just give me a call Hollywood.

#rom com #romantic comedy #13 going on 30 #when harry met sally #sleepless in seattle #my big fat greek wedding #10 things i hate about you #something borrowed #he's just not that into you #the big sick #about time #yesterday #The broken hearts gallery

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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“Truth”-related asks:

Anonymous said:

I just watched truth and man, we didn't need any of that... I'm so tired...

Anonymous said:

Me after reading that summary: We coulda had it aaaaaaaaaaallllllll, decent wri-itiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggg

Anonymous said:

oh. lukanette breakup. how surpri— oh wait, no it wasn't.

bunnybunblitz said:

Me, skimming your summary of truth: life is a nightmare life is a nightmare life is a nightmare abort abort

Anonymous said:

Truth was a living nightmare, and that's the truth!

*defeated sigh*

Anonymous said:

The way all that just make me start disliking Adrien so hard wow I have enough of him so hard can they get ride of him for one damn episode?

Anonymous said:

Wow! Writers got on completely new level. They somehow made people to be annoyed with Adrien, even without putting him in episode.

My meme image of “I’ve had enough of this dude,” about sums it up.

It’s almost impressive???

Anonymous said:

I have the impression that you should slowly gather materials for "Treatment of Marinette S4"

You know, when you’re right, you’re right.

Anonymous said:

Hey there... Got a lil rant, I hope you don't mind in sea of anons you're probably getting. I guess if show didn't treat Marinette as their favorite punching bag and lukanette as a thing to get over with to be back on love square bullshit I wouldn't be this salty. We all knew lukanette isn't a endgame, but we actually care about Luka ans Marinette as characters and as a couple, and we knew there was a break up brewing.

But I mlb writers for setting things up, canonizing them over provocative tweet and leave them to dust right at the beginning of s4. And, oh sweet irony as they kinda accidentally made Lukanette totally better than love square (let's be honest if they knew what they were doing we wouldn't get any breakup from narrative and character development standpoint),,, because their heroine for once is loved and appreciated but that's another discussion and they hate that for her. Also, thomas arstruck can suck my toe.

I don't know what's your opinion on soulmate and destiny thing, but I'm totally in opposite. I remember The Good Place (love the series btw!) quote about how soulmates are made with love and nurture of people and not some cosmic forces. And to see how show is pushing for Destiny ™️ I'm kinda disheartened. But I guess I never really liked love square execution in the first place when it turned out that Marinette is butt of the crush joke for 3 seasons and there's 0 development from that. Like Thomas, that's not funny running gag. Thanks for reading! Hope you're doing well!

Thank you for the rant, and I agree!

It’s so strange how all their attempts to push for the love square just push me more towards Lukanette. How do the writers do that???

Anonymous said:

Yeah that point where she exclaims Luka in shock just angered and confused me. She LITERALLY transformed because Luka was akumatized. And her being shocked is only there to get her under the truth spell.

This episode is held together by knots and strings at this point.

Anonymous said:

Wow, "Ladybug likes Chat Noir humor." Then why every time Chat Noir makes puns, Ladybug looks like she wanted to strangle him on spot.

Ladybug = us

At that point, they should’ve just said, “[The writers] like Chat Noir’s humor.” Like--writers, please don’t use Ladybug as a tool to simp for your sunshine boy, it looks really pathetic.

Anonymous said:

Based on the ellipses you used I'm guessing you're not a fan of Jagged talking about the "Guitar is my only family" song.

Oh, no actually... I mean, I do because it’s there to torment Luka, but the ellipses was because of the intentional pause in the episode. Jagged was looking sympathetic

Anonymous said:

Truth was awful, the only good thing we got out of it was a Lukanette date (yay :'D) and we got to know Luka's father (although we all been knew).

Honestly if we could find a way to edit it so Luka and Marinette properly kissed then we’d just chop it out of the episode and call it the only canon thing.

asexual-individual said:

So, given that "Truth" didn't introduce the protection charms, I'm going to take a wild guess that they're not introduced until after "Gang of Secrets", meaning that Marinette won't get any close friends that it's safe to tell her secret to.

I was legit so sure that it was a guardian benefit and now I’m just left confused/curious about what causes CharmBug. Like, what, do you get CharmBug by purifying your one thousandth akuma???

Anonymous said:

I am absolutely positive no one quality checks these episodes before they’re sent out. Ladybug getting caught off guard on Luka being Truth even though she knows he was akumatised, and the horribly upbeat music playing as Marinette lies in bed absolutely defeated is so bad there’s no way this was double checked before it was sent out to TV stations

At this point, I’m convinced that they don’t care and are jamming through episodes as fast as they possible can.

cobraonthecob said:

I'm willing to bet that the writers go through critical and salt blogs just to see what the fandom's thinking, and then they think we're serious and they sprint with whatever we say.

guys please reconsider and also lower your alcohol levels

Anonymous said:

It was awful in general, but why add the paternity thing in the break-up ep? It detracts from, well, everything else and makes obvious they are copypasting fan theories instead of thinking of plot points.

I really do think they knew that Luka being upset over Marinette’s secret wasn’t enough to akumatize him so he needed something else.

Anonymous said:

Let me get something straight: The episode was explicitly about Marinette going on dates with Luka and that they were together. Yet Juleka is once again part of the shipping squad with obligatory "Marinette is only weird because she's with Adrien"-theories, and she's totally cool with that?

Yup! :3

guys I just adore mob mentality, did you know.

guys--

Anonymous said:

Ok, but the fact that everyone considers Marinette’s crush on Adrien to be her big secret is stupidly unrealistic. They KNOW they’re all aware of it - the girl squad even figured it out by themselves before they were told and think it’s totally obvious (as long as you’re a girl cause guys are clueless about feelings right). As far as they’re concerned it’s not actually a secret so they SHOULD be spilling the things they think only they and Marinette know. I mean, I can think of dozens of possibilities for Tom and the rest of the girls already, but Alya?

We had a front row seat to the damning secret Alya knows from back in season 1, but I guess asking this show to acknowledge continuity is too much. Still, the episode could have been so much more interesting if Alya had said, “Marinette’s the one who really gave Adrien the scarf for his birthday, but he looked so happy thinking it was from his father that she couldn’t bear to tell him that Gabriel hadn’t actually gotten him anything.” (I suppose reminding people of that wouldn’t fit into the writers’ poor attempts to make Gabriel sympathetic though 🙄).

Lol, just imagine the entire battle being sidetracked by Luka being brought to tears by how selfless and sweet his girlfriend is while Shadow Moth is too distracted by how this will ruin his reputation to get him back on track.

JKHJDSKGFSG

YES.

ALL OF THIIIIIS.

THIS IS AMAZING.

Anonymous said:

Marinette deserves to tell Luka she's Ladybug and have some support on her side tbh, it's disgusting to see the writers breaking up clearly the only thing that brings her joy and peace currently

HONESTLY.

And judging from that one trailer, she IS going to tell someone her secret and it’ll probably be freaking Alya; you know, the girl who blabbed about her Adrien crush to Nino and is thus THE LEAST TRUTHWORTHY PERSON. (”bonus” if it’s before the amulets)

I’m having nightmares already about Alya distrusting Lila because Marinette is Ladybug and not because Alya believes in Marinette. DX

Anonymous said:

Now that it’s been confirmed (in the worst way possible) that Jagged Stone is in fact Luka’s (and possibly Juleka’s?) father, how would you handle the whole mixed family aspect considering Jagged and Anarka’s relationship, Jagged and Penny’s, Anarka and Penny’s, Jagged and Luka’s (and Juleka’s?), and Penny and Luka’s (and Juleka’s?)? Topics like mixed families and family relationships are something that needs to be handled sensibly and sensitively given how it hits home for a lot of real-world people. Since we obviously can’t trust the ML writers to handle such topics the way that they deserve to be, how would you go about it knowing what we know up to this point about each character on their own and how they interact with one another?

Luka and Juleka were “accidents,” but Anarka kept it a secret from Jagged since Jagged was already hyped up to go on his next tour and Anarka knew their relationship was crumbling (possibly he already dumped her as his guitarist and she was annoyed about it). Jagged eventually learns that he has kids and is hesitant towards the idea, but because of him doting on Marinette (who’s the same age as his kids), he opens up to the idea.

Anarka and Jagged in present are mixed between tolerating each other for the sake of their kids and being chaotic best friends. The bad blood died out a while ago and there’s occasional tension but because Anarka is a single woman not interested in Jagged and Jagged is single with a possible thing for Penny, they make it work

Anarka and Penny have an awkward relationship. Penny wants to schedule time for Jagged to hang with Luka and Juleka and Anarka is confused at the very concept of a schedule, like just take them whenever okay??? isn’t it easier that way??? and Penny is like, “...oh, I guess so?”

Jagged and Penny, it depends on if they’re in any sort of relationship. If they’re in a relationship, Penny is either open to the idea of him learning to be good with kids if she’ll eventually want kids with him, or mixed because these are another woman’s kids and it’s really awkward. If they’re not in a relationship, then Penny could also be mixed since she’s crushing on him but I could also see her either finding it sweet that Jagged wants to hang out with his kids or finding it a hassle to schedule them in.

Jagged and Luka is rough. Luka has so many conflicting feelings on his idol ending up being his father. Jagged will probably even comment on Luka’s shirt + necklace and all of Luka’s merch in an attempt to bond but that kind of comes off desperate/awkward and Luka’s not about that life. I could also see Luka taking all the stuff down and swapping out his shirt, but being hesitant to remove the necklace because it’s a gift from Marinette. He might try to wash off the signature. He knows it’s not Jagged’s fault exactly but Anarka seemed to have bad blood with him and even if they get along now, Luka’s bitter. Jagged meanwhile wants to connect with Luka because hey musician energy!! but is gonna mess up a lot and say a lot of awkward things. Marinette will probably have to be a middle man between the two because it’s easier for them to talk with her around.

Jagged and Juleka don’t have a significant relationship at first. Juleka never care who her father was and she wasn’t crazy about Jagged Stone like Luka was. Jagged does try to connect with her but they clash majorly due to Jagged being so “loud” and Juleka being so quiet. Jagged will see it as a huge accomplishment the day where Juleka says something coherent (i.e: not a mumble) to him.

Yeah though, keep in mind for all of this that I’m not a family relationship kinda girl, so this isn’t my forte (I’m probably the most sympathetic to Jagged out of the whole fandom; not to say I agree with his actions but I have a history of hating babies and children, so not cool of him if he ditched Anarka but like, I get it, doesn’t make him better but I get it from a non-realistic standpoint of “ew, parenting”).

Anonymous said:

You know what? Imma gonna ignore canon for a bit more than I’ve been doing. The only thing I take away from “Truth” is that Marinette loves Luka and Tikki looks adorable in hats. That’s it have a good Saturday! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Anonymous said:

If there’s one small detail that I thought was genuinely cute this episode, it’s Tikki posing in the mirror with her little hat collection.

Ahaha, those are good takeaways!

And yes, Tikki looked good in hats, but at what cost. (guys, where’s our jealous Tikki episode where Tikki is jealous of the attention Marinette has to give the other kwami wait no they’d just make it Marinette’s fault go back go ba--)

Anonymous asked:

Am I the only on squicked out by how Adrien acts all noble and claims he would never force Ladybug to tell him anything, but when it becomes apparent that he has to ask her a question before the akuma can he goes all ‘what are your three favorite things about me?’ :3c I mean, he had decent amount of time to think up a bunch of innocent questions that couldn’t hurt her in any way like ‘what is your favorite color?’ or ‘do you like cookies?’ or even ‘what’s the capitol of France?’ But instead he basically demands she compliment him. Coming from a guy who spent most of the last two seasons refusing to take ‘no’ for an answer that’s a bit… icky.

THIS

He could’ve phrased it in any way and he used it to get compliments from her. :|

At least Ladybug asked a legitimate question about how he felt about her guardian status.

Anonymous said:

I had this idea for an episode: Luka finds out that Marinette is LB because he is in danger. Let's say he gets yeeted off a building by an akuma and Marinette (in her civilian form) jumps after him, transforms while Luka sees it (he's shook, obviously), she grabs him and saves him from falling. I think that would be pretty epic, do you think you could write a one-shot based on that idea if you feel like that? I would forever be thankful. Have a nice day!

I like the idea, though I feel like that’s been done a lot before in identity reveal fanfics.

Anonymous said:

You know, despite them all getting interrupted, I thought the attempts at Lukanette dates was really cute. Luka picking up Marinette from school, the two trying to see who is the biggest jagged fan, getting ice cream at Andre's, it's really cute! I only wish Hawkmoth and the writers weren't such dickheads.

It’s so adorable!

Like--show, you aren’t doing a good job at getting me off the Lukanette train.

Anonymous said:

Are you sure the Lukanette breakup wasn't Marinette's fault? I mean, the episode frames it like she's refusing to tell the truth, even if it's for a good reason.

I’m not sure when I said that the episode didn’t frame it as her fault?

Things are ALWAYS Marinette’s fault, it’s literally a rule of the show.

Anonymous said:

You know the truth episode actually gives more reasons for lukanette in my opinion based of its description you said. Luka is ridiculously understanding and also almost manages to fight off hawk moth as well as taking probably a week at least for him to get to that and yet he, while he’s upset, still tries to be there for marinette. Also makes the relationships she has with her friends and family worse if the secret they think she has is that she likes adrien while dating Luka.

YES!!

And oh my gosh, I feel the friends and family comment so badly. Just throwing it out there, maybe you guys don’t actually support her???

Anonymous said:

How do you feel about Luka having no negative reaction to this whole "Marinette loves Adrien" thing? I understand that he isn't exactly the jealous type, but still, it seems weird to me that he just accepts it while Marinette is dating him. I love Luka a lot, but in this situation his reaction was just so unrealistic...

Honestly, I find it really interesting. Plus, it’s Truth who’s being told those things, not Luka, and Truth has other priorities.

And--I mean, I’m positive that Luka got into the relationship knowing that Marinette wasn’t completely over Adrien. She wanted to see if they’d work and he wanted to date her. It’s both of them being a little selfish in a way and I like that.

That’s why I think he doesn’t have a big reaction to the Adrien call. He seems amused more than anything, and Luka is empathetic also so he knows not to take Marinette’s stammering/mistakes to heart because she doesn’t mean them. We already had evidence of that in “Desperada.”

writingamongther0ses said:

Even if Lukanette had stayed together, I have a feeling Alya would complain that it's not Adrien...which could lead to a character growth opportunity for her when her complaining leads to Luka getting hurt when he overhears and becomes an akuma. But that's too interesting.

Interesting character relationships??? In THIS show???

never

Anonymous said:

After watching Truth the only thing I can feel at the moment is bitter. Not angry, not sad, not disappointed. Just bitter.

Bitter’s a good way of putting it, yeah. *sigh*

Anonymous said:

The fact that the second episode released managed to get a bingo really says a lot about how predictable the show's garbage fire writing.

I KNOW, RIGHT??

I knew the Lukanette episode would be a big card filler but DAMN.

Anonymous said:

I hated all of Truth, but perhaps the worst part was how hard they tried to remind you that, no matter how much of a good time Marinette and Luka have together, it's Adrien who Marinette will end up with in the end. From Alya rudely insinuating "girl, you're acting stupid, is Adrien at your house?", to Luka receiving a PICTURE of Adrien from a kwami, to Marinette talking on the phone with Luka while her Adrien pictures are in the background, to Marinette CALLING LUKA ADRIEN, to Truth demanding that people tell him Marinette's secret, only for them ALL to say "She's in love with Adrien Agreste.".

It's absolutely anger-inducing because it tries too hard to let the audience know to forget about Luka because Adrien is lurking in the corner and he and Marinette are endgame. The fans are right, Luka IS a second choice, but not in the way they think. Luka's a second choice, not for Marinette, but for the Miraculous Ladybug world. for the WRITERS!!!

But what bothers me the most is that everyone saying that Marinette loves Adrien is accepted as truth even when Marinette herself says she's over Adrien. Her words are ignored, how she feels is ignored, because everyone else(including the girl squad, when they're supposed to be her "friends") tells her that she's supposed to be in love with Adrien, and so she "has" to go along with it because ENDGAME. It's the show saying "stupid naive Marinette, you're too immature and dumb to know how you really feel, let someone else do the thinking for you!"

Meanwhile Adrien moving on with Kagami is accepted even when he still flirts with Ladybug(and forces her to build up his ego when he asks her what she admires most about him; I know it was a spur of the moment thing, but meta-wise, it was obvious love square pushing.), because "he's trying to respect her feelings and date someone else!" It's one of the main gripes I have with the show: that teenage girls are too emotional and confused to know what they really want, but teenage boys are mature and rational enough to make up their minds about who they love without holding any animosity towards anyone.

The all-white, all-male writing team pushes the Chinese girl's feelings aside and forces her to hide and erase them if they're not want they want her to feel, while the white boy gets congratulated with a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum and always, ALWAYS, takes the moral high ground(even in superhero form when he's supposedly goofy.). When she's the lead.

"Luka's a second choice, not for Marinette, but for the Miraculous Ladybug world. for the WRITERS!!!“

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

It’s just tiring. It’s not even me being sick of the love square, but it being forced into everything when it’s not even relevant. The episode strategically throws more and more of Marinette’s Adrien crush (I did the math, I know this) into the mix and it provides nothing but the same tired jokes. Heck, they keep leaning on the lucky charm Marinette let him borrow (not GAVE, let him BORROW) back in Season 1 because they basically have nothing else to go off of.

#category: salt #episode: Truth #other: ml spoilers #other: ask and answer

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alienslikedmyfantasy · 4 years

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Okay, so I haven’t seen a show that I related to legit every character like, ever, and The Owl House hit me like a truck.

As I watched (and rewatched) how each character acts and develops, I look at them and feel a connection.

Luz, the ‘weird’ girl, the outsider, the overly positive, interested, distractible, oblivious, and big hearted character. I utterly love Luz Noceda. Like holy crap. We both find oddly specific things interesting be it a specific topic or the immersion into a fandom. We both make weird jokes and get into pun wars with people (I had one go on for about an hour once...it was glorious). For a person who’s pretty negative about myself, when other people are involved, I lift them up as high as possible, even with weak nerd arms. We both get distracted easily, or are at least oblivious. I didn’t know half of the things happening around me during school, and I honestly still don’t. I’ve watched movies 50 times and realized the actual point/blatantly obvious event during the 51st. I’ve had people like me before and I never noticed until someone told me then I struggled to believe it (”What is it she sees, in this cluster clump of me?”). (Honestly the entirety of ‘Ordinary’ called me out super hard). Luz also does crazy things for her friends with the best of intentions (even if it isn’t well thought out). Her heart is so big and she sees the best in everyone, it’s just amazing. Little things she does and has said, I’ve done too (especially the ‘cool’ scene).

Amity is often misread and quiet, struggling to talk to others. She also doesn’t like others to see her emotions very much, she bottles them up and has a need to be seen in a certain way. She has to be ‘perfect’ (a song which also called me out pretty hard). I feel that deep down in my soul my dudes. I always had to have perfect grades and I still have to be perfect at everything I do on the first try (I’m working on not doing that). I was always quiet, and honestly still am. I definitely bottle up my emotions rather than let others see what’s up and I have a hard time forming coherent sentences around crushes...well...around people in general. I always felt the need to be the straight A student and the rock in my loved one’s lives (which they never expected of me so I don’t know where that came from haha) and I still kinda do. Amity also sacrifices herself for her friends (Grom...sports....must I say more?). And though I may not have sacrificed my body, I’ve protected my friends hard core. No one messes with my buds.

Eda. Oh Eda. The wild witch who ran off to live in the woods because she didn’t like school and didn’t want to commit to one coven in life. The witch who is slow to pick up on things, is chaotic, and completely weird in the best possible way. I always liked school until I was about to graduate, then I realized how it can really mess with people (see Eda running around the school pointing out the strangeness of it all). All I feel that I really learned from school was to take a test. Creativity killer sadly. Eda has a strange sense of humor and is slow to get sarcasm or that it was a joke. Same Eda, same. I also cannot commit to one coven, well, career or job for the rest of my life. I like keeping my options open. Plus I would love to build a house out in the woods nearby and be a witch. I’ve always been weird and chaotic too, but I think Eda’s weird is way more fun than my own.

King is a goofy little dude who usually has weird jokes or points of view, but sometimes is super wise. I know that I have a strange sense of humor that it seems like most of my people don’t understand, and I have been known to be wise when I’m not thinking about it...on the other hand, when I try to be wise, I stumble and say something extremely weird. He struggles with public speaking/putting himself out there (Grom) and is nervous a while before getting comfortable with it. (I hate public speaking says the kid who did musicals for 13 years, writes songs, and thinks she wants to be an author, artist, actress, or musician). I also connect with King with the fact that I freakin’ love rubber ducky stuff. I legit have a rubber ducky bathrobe (of which one of my best friends gave me as a birthday gift...it’s a bit small but it’s sososo soft I love it), I made a ducky pillowcase today to practice sewing (it’s so cute I almost cried), I have a bunch of duckies stashed away throughout the house, and my Grandma made me a ducky baby quilt for the future. Ducks! Am I right? (I’m right.)

Willow is the shy, not-so-confident plant girl. I am too a shy, not-so-confident plant girl. I legit have about 14 or 15 plants (each have a name) that I care about a lot. I don’t really remember being bullied (I know I was at least once), but I’ve definitely had my heart hurt (honestly pretty badly) by people I considered friends at that time (I won’t get into that here). I’m also a shy person who’s been working on being more confident with themselves. Plus: plants!

Gus is fascinated by specific topics and is younger than everyone else, which may make him feel a bit childish. I feel this on a personal level. I’m the youngest child on my Mom’s side and the second youngest on my Dad’s. I was the baby and I don’t think I got to do much with the older kids (you’re too young so we don’t wanna play with you kinda thing, etc. [which is totally fine and I get 100%]) Though I may be older than all of my friends, I still feel like a child compared to nearly all of them. They’re all so smart and put together, and I’m not. I’m also fascinated by specific topics that others may not know or care to know much about (for Gus, it’s humans, for me, it’s a lot of things).

Edric and Emira are pretty similar to my sister and I. We aren’t twins, we didn’t always get along, and we rarely had shenanigans or pranked like these two do, but as we got older, we understood each other better and our relationship is basically being there for one another and really bad puns.

Hooty...well...I suppose we share the fact that we both make up songs and are bored a lot...definitely not that we’re both owl tubes.....*nervous laughter*

Owlbert and I share the quiet helpfulness trait...plus we’re both adorable.

(Some of these go deeper than others but the point is there’s still a connection).

Goodness gracious I love this show.

I haven’t laughed at a show this hard since Good Omens last year.

I love when I can connect with characters. It makes me happy.

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

to all the leverage fans out there, I thought I’d throw out some recommendations of other shows that y’all might like

this is completely centered around the lgbt aspects of leverage (how none of the characters are straight, how there is a canon ot3, etc), because I know other people have recommended white collar and stuff but I haven’t personally seen that and I’m just a humble lgbt wanting to share more gay shows with y’all

1. wynonna earp (my sideblog is @angelicearps)

just renewed for a fourth season after two years (this feeling is very familiar to leverage fans)

the first episode of season four aired last night and IM SCREAMING the writers served us a five course meal

the main love story includes waverly earp, a CANON (officially as of 4.01) bisexual girl falling in love with nicole haught, a lesbian cop-turned-sheriff (that’s a slight spoiler, so sorry about that) and both of them are main characters

wynonna earp, another main character, has a complicated relationship with two different men and is not slut shamed for it and is never put down about it

I’m serious- the healthiest and most stable relationship in the show is between waverly and nicole, so wlw nation rise

wynonna and waverly are descendants of the great gunslinger (and demon killer) wyatt earp, who ended up getting a curse on his future generations. the story of the show is centered around wynonna being the chosen heir having to fight demons and try to break the curse for good

doc holiday is another main character- yes, that doc holiday. he’s one of wynonna’s love interests and he has such a pure and loving relationship with waverly. he’d literally die for her and move heaven and hell to make sure she’s safe (that’s literally canon)

jeremy comes in around season two if I remember correctly. canon gay. gets in a relationship with another canon gay character whose name I am blanking on. they are very loving and very pure

literally, in 4.01, when armed military men are breaking into the earp homestead and he doesn’t know what to do, he literally says: “gays only?” lol they didn’t respect that answer

the show has so many good quips and one-liners. so many hilarious lines. it can be an angsty show at times but they definitely balance it out with humor and wlw softness between waverly and nicole

wynonna has a baby in season two and literally calls herself a milf

it also made fans faint because they have been calling nicole “daddy” for like six years and nicole was referred to as daddy three (3) times in 4.01

this show is NOT AFRAID to say things like gay, lesbian, etc. at one point someone tweeted at emily andreas (the writer) asking her to amp up the gay energy and she responded that she would

literally, emily andreas is on the same level as john rogers with trustability and dedication to fans

emily andreas heard of the bury your gays trope and did us one better: unkillible gays trope. the gays are unkillable.

2. motherland: fort salem (my sideblog is @fortsalem)

(HELL YEAH I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST IN THE FANDOM AND I GOT THE HANDS DOWN B E S T URL)

au where during the salem witch trials a witches named sarah alder made an agreement with the government that witches would serve for the us army in exchange for not being systematically hunted down and killed

THIS IS NOT MILITARY PROPAGANDA. sorry, I just had to make this point early on because it’s not even though it might seem like it in the beginning. literally by the end of the season you see it’s very corrupt

since this is an alternate history of the united states, in this universe there are no heteronorms. literally, there’s literally no words for lesbian and bisexual that they use because it’s so normalized and common and accepted that there’s no need for terms like that

the main love story is of star-crossed raelle and scylla. raelle comes from a poor family and is a talented healer, and (this isn’t technically a spoiler because you find out in episode one) scylla is a member of the spree

the spree is a terrorist organization of witches that protests the compliance witches are forced into by having to join the military or die/be imprisoned

scylla is supposed to turn raelle to the “dark side” but falls so deeply in love with her that she can’t do it (THATS TRUE LOVE FOLKS)

the students at fort salem (the military school) are divided into groups of three: the main group being focused on is composed of raelle, tally, and abigail

tally craven is a pure-hearted baby and I’d die for her. she is very idealistic about fighting in the military (but don’t worry that’s fixed by the end of the season)

abigail bell weather comes from a high military family and is kinda really stuck up about it, but she’s humbled a lot by the end of the season. this girl has LAYERS (they all do, but abigail goes through a lot and goes from very stuck up and stuck up the military’s ass to questioning everything she knows)

the trio starts off rocky, especially between raelle and abigail, because raelle blames abigail’s mother for her mother’s death (her mother’s unit was led by abigail’s mother)

the beltane episode literally hits you in the face with how there are literally no heteronorms whatsoever. they do this sacred dance where by the end they will end up with the people they are destined to spend the celebration with (“trust the dance”). raelle makes friends with a gay guy and they spend the celebration making fun of the sex noises around them and become gay friends for life. abigail has sex with two (2) guys who kiss each other. a group of four girls went off together. a group of two girls and a guy went off together. and sex isn’t shamed. at all. in fact, it’s respected as a part of life. and y’all, literally this representation was OFF THE CHARTS

the witch’s most powerful tool is their voice,,, think about that for a minute

it’s an all girls school so there are like no guys whatsoever minus the beltane episode and a couple others

EMPOWERED WOMEN (of all ages and ethnicities too)

3. siren (my sideblog is @polymarinelove)

imma start off by saying that season three doesn’t exist. don’t watch season three. don’t do it. the disappointment is real

ANYWAYS

the central love story is between an interracial couple (a white guy and his black girlfriend that has a native american stepfather) that turns into a loving polyamorous relationship

maddie, the girlfriend, is amazing and incredibly smart and the first two seasons (and the beginning of the third) accentuate that and they never downplay her because she’s a black woman like many shows and movies do. she’s a smart stem woman and we stan her so hard. she’s also bisexual.

ben, the guy, comes from a rich family that are basically the hotshots of the town and own the fishing company that the community works for. his dad is hella untrustable. ben doesn’t trust him and neither should you. he is kindhearted and smart and respectful, and at one point teaches a merman about consent after being kissed by him (and he didn’t even #nohomo it which was AMAZING)

now to the mermaids

mermaids are apex predators. they are very dangerous. they are very strong. they’re also wickedly smart, canon smarter than humans

the story begins when donna, ryn’s sister, is captured by a fishing boat and carted off to a military facility. ryn comes to land to try to find and save her. (she literally choses her name because she sees a character on a kid’s tv show saying “I am ryn” which is also the first thing in english that she can say)

she ends up being helped by ben and maddie and legit is like these humans are hot imma learn english for them

there’s a lot of really cool and thought out lore as well as TONS of thoughtful marine biology science that makes sense

oh and transforming from mermaid to human? painful as FUCK. realistic depictions of having your body literally transform into something else

humans are wrecking the oceans and that’s a heavy theme of the show

oil rigs are poisoning the water (making them infertile) and killing mermaids with their sonic drilling

so ben and maddie lowkey commit an act of ecoterrorism but it’s chill

“ben and maddie are love” they’re poly, bitches

they come together in a natural, organic way

very healthy and communicative

ben’s alright but ryn and maddie are amazing

don’t watch season three if you don’t want to be majorly disappointed. the writers listened to the homophobic trolls on instagram and broke up the polyamorous relationship and I’ll NEVER forgive them for that. seasons one and two are amazing though. just don’t watch the third one.

#leverage ot3 #leverage #reccommendations #my recs #siren #siren freeform #motherland fort salem #fort salem #wynonna earp #mine

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trensu · 4 years

Text

Episode 14: The One where LWJ Sings to WWX, y’know, Like a Bro

WE’RE STILL IN THE BEST CAVE IN THE WORLD GUYS

AND WE START OFF WITH ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AS LWJ GENTLY WAKES UP.

And first thing he notices is that he woke up with his forehead ribbon on his forehead where it’s supposed to be (it’s right there in the name)

Wwx: oh yeah, i put it back on you while you were sleeping. I know how nervous you get when you’re not wearing it.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

DID YOU?

HE PUT IT BACK ON HIM TO SPARE HIM ANXIETY

(You can't tell me that LWJ does not low-key have anxiety. Nobody's that much of a stickler for rules without being constantly anxious about breaking them. That's just facts)

Also, lol, the minute lwj wakes up, wwx is all “ah, must be 5am.” HE’S KEEPING TRACK OF TIME WITH LWJ’S SLEEP HABITS LOLOLOL

Now wwx and lwj are talking Important Escape Details

Wwx: yeah, went back into the pond and it looks like the Murder Turtle blocked off the escape route

Lwj: you shouldn’t be going into the pond with your injury

Wwx: i’m not that delicate!

And then he turns it around and asks lwj how well the medicine was working on his leg (it’s all better now, i guess?? idk he seems fine now. wq’s medicine is MAGIC)

BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

Here we learn the official name of the Murder Turtle

Lwj: it’s like a xuanwu but not

Wwx: xuanwu?? *proceeds to describe what he knows about it*

Lwj: *is impressed and surprised*

Have more faith in your soulmate lwj. He reads! Sometimes! When it’s important!

Wwx: aren’t xuanwus supposed to have sharp teeth? Like Grrr

HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE GROWLY FACE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND MAKES THE CUTEST GROWL SOUND AT LWJ. AHHHHH!

But also, he’s disappointed that the xuanwu didn’t have sharp teeth?? WWX, THE THING TRIED TO EAT YOU JUST YESTERDAY. BE GRATEFUL IT DOESN’T HAVE SHARP TEETH

Wwx: it doesn’t even matter what it is! It’s a big monster and if we kill it we’ll be Big Damn Heroes

So EXCITED and EAGER and he has this MISCHIEVOUS LOOK ON HIS FACE. Obviously he’s suffered brain damage

Wwx: and, ah, if it kills us, it’s okay bc it’ll be an AWESOME death lol

Lwj just stares at him LOL

His face is like, “this guy? This is the guy my heart decided to fall for?? Really???”

Okay so now they’re being all sneaky and gathering up bows and arrows that surround the pond and then they go back and get to work on fixing them and preparing for battle

We get to see lwj practicing the chord assassination technique like a BADASS

They come up with a plan!! Wwx will go into the Murder Turtle’s shell to coax him out of it so that lwj can then, idk, decapitate it with his Killer String.

(that’s...not how actual turtles work, but bc this is a magic murder turtle, i figure the rules don’t apply)

AHHHHH

LWJ DOES A THING

So obvs since wwx has to go inside the shell and lwj has to stay outside the shell they gotta communicate right and Ancient Fantasy China does not have good cell reception

Wwx: listen to me

And with that verbal cue, lwj does this thing that makes his fingers glow with spiritual energy and then taps wwx’s forehead which then has a little burst of the glow for half a second.

And TA-DAH! NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED!!!

THEY’RE SOULMATES AND NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED YOUR OTP COULD NEVER

It must be a link that only lets them hear what the other wants them to hear otherwise wwx would’ve found out lwj is smitten with him right there and then, omg, that could’ve saved us so much heartbreak later on

But we’re not gonna think about that right now bc i don’t want to short-circuit my keyboard with tears

YUCK, wwx is inside the Murder Turtle’s shell and it’s SUPER GROSS

EVERYTHING IS ALL RED

THE FLOOR’S ALL MUDDY AND GUMMY

THERE’S LIKE, FLESHY ROPES HANGING EVERYWHERE

DISGUSTING

Wwx: ewww, it stinks so bad i wanna puke *chokes back bile*

BE STRONG WWX, YOU CAN DO THIS

And now he’s bumped into some dead bodies

WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR FACE SO CLOSE TO THE DEAD BODIES WWX, THAT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. YOU WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT THE STENCH 2 SECONDS AGO, AND NOW YOU’RE SHOVING YOUR FACE IN IT???

Oh noooo, now he’s found the Screaming Sword of Resentment that screams bloody murder at him

He grabs it and stabs Murder Turtle in the face which makes Murder Turtle mad enough to get out of the shell

We’re going to continue to ignore the bad cgi and ridiculously over the top fighting moves

...and the way he floats horizontally(??? somehow??) as the Murder Turtle tries to shake him off

My poor bb is hanging on for dear life while lwj does his Killer String thing

I LOVE LWJ’S DETERMINED FACE HERE!!

His brow is all scrunched up and his mouth gets all pinched and firm. SO DASHING LAN ZHAN, GO SAVE YOUR SOULMATE.

But oh no! The resentful energy pouring from the sword is getting to wwx!

Uh oh, I did not like the look of that grin on wwx’s face

that was NOT HIS MISCHIEVOUS GRIN

THAT WAS A MALEVOLENT GRIN.

I DON’T LIKE IT

STOP THAT WWX

BE A GOOD BOY

Lwj shouts his name, he’s so worried!!

And now we see wwx use resentful energy for the first time ever!!

In a badass move he starts levitating all the abandoned swords and staffs that littered the shore AND USES THEM TO STAB THE MURDER TURTLE IN THE THROAT

SO COOL, SO COOL

Murder Turtle flops over dead and takes wwx down with him INTO THE POND AND WWX IS UNCONSCIOUS!! NOOOOOOO

Lwj, ofc, rushes to his side as soon as he hits the water and rescues him

He gets him out of the pond and takes him to dry land

Lwj: wei ying, wei ying! Wake up, wake up

GUYS, THIS IS THE MOST EMOTION WE’VE HEARD IN HIS VOICE SO FAR

HE’S REPEATING HIMSELF FOR GOODNESS SAKE

HE OF FEW WORDS GOES ON TO REPEAT HIMSELF TWICE OVER

HE’S FREAKING OUT

Oh gross, we cut to the Evil Wen’s lair

C’mon nobody cares about whatever’s going on there. Get us back to the important stuff!!! I am Done listening to evil wens ranting

AHH WE’RE BACK IN THE CAVE WITH OUR BOYS!!

WWX REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS!!

Wwx: lan zhan, is it dead?

Lwj: yes

Wwx: yes? (he says weakly, in disbelief, MY POOR WWX)

Wwx: is it dead? (why’s he repeating himself, WWX ARE YOU OKAY??)

(I mean, obviously he's not what with the murder turtle thing but I don't think he can afford to get more brain damage at this point)

Lwj: yes, it is.

Oh and now wwx is telling lwj about all the screaming voices he heard from the sword and asks him if he was dreaming those up

LIKE HE’S NOT TRUSTING HIS GRASP ON REALITY RN OR SOMETHING!!

AND HE’LL ONLY TRUST IT IF LWJ CONFIRMS IT FOR HIM

BC HE TRUSTS HIM AND THEY’RE SOULMATES!!!

Lwj reassures wwx that he did not dream up those screams

(Somebody should probably check him for a concussion,jic. I mean those screams were real THIS time but you never know!!)

(Maybe concussions don't exist in Ancient Fantasy China, idk)

Wwx is all pale and shaky!! MY POOR WWX!! Lwj is rightfully fussing over him

He lets out a weak laugh (BC THAT’S HIS COPING MECHANISM, DIFFUSE THE SITUATION WITH HUMOR, MY POOR WWX) and is like “who knew that one day i’d get to see the 2nd jade of lan look so worried?”

IT’S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, WWX, YOU DENSE IDIOT

Lwj doesn’t respond but he does look away briefly LIKE HE’S AFRAID OF WWX SEEING SO MUCH EMOTION ON HIS FACE

AAHHHH, LAN ZHAN, IT’S OKAY, DON’T HIDE AWAY LIKE THAT!! I PROMISE WWX LOVES YOU TOO!!!

WWX: lan zhan, i didn’t think i’d survive this

He whispers weakly AS HIS BODY IS STARTS TO TREMBLE LIKE CRAZY

Lwj: wei ying, you have a fever

And then he brings wwx’s wrist close to start pouring in some spiritual energy

SO GENTLY, WITH SUCH DEDICATED CONCENTRATION

BC HIS WEI YING IS HURTING AND HE WANTS TO MAKE IT STOP

AAHHHHH

WWX: that’s so soothing lan zhan

Oh jeez, the way he sounds when he says that...

And omg the way lwj looks in the blue glow of the spiritual energy transfer

AS IF HE DIDN’T ALREADY LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF HOLY DEITY, HE’S LEGIT GLOWING NOW TOO

WWX: how boring...why hasn’t jc showed up to rescue me yet?

Uh, rude much? Lwj is right there

AND HERE WE COLLECTIVELY LOSE OUR MINDS BC WWX ASKS LWJ TO SING TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!

AND LWJ STARTS TO SING TO HIM!!!!!

AND THIS IS WHERE WE GET ~THEIR SONG~ ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE CHARACTERS FOR THE FIRST TIME BC THAT’S WHAT HE SINGS TO WEI YING

AND WHILE HE SINGS, WE GET GIVEN THE MOST WONDERFUL OF ALL FLASHBACKS.

IT IS A COMPILATION OF ALL THEIR IMPORTANT MOMENTS TOGETHER SO FAR

THEIR MOONLIT ROOFTOP SWORD FIGHT!!

THEIR COLD POND CAVE MARRIAGE!!

THEIR BUNNY LANTERN!!

BASICALLY EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT THESE PAST 14 EPISODES

I’M LITERALLY TEARING UP

I CNA’T TAKE IT

MY HEART, MY HEART 💕💕💕

THEY’RE SINGING ~THEIR SONG~ AND I’M DYING OF FEELINGS OVERLOAD

Also, jfc, there’s no Heterosexual explanation for that flashback sequence…

Wwx: it sounds so nice, so nice, what’s the name of the song…?

AHHHHHH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

LWJ TELLS HIM THE NAME OF THE SONG!!

!!HE PRACTICALLY CONFESSES HIS ETERNAL UNDYING LOVE TO HIM

AND WWX HAS TO FUCKING PASS OUT BEFORE HE HEARS IT GOD DAMN IT

IT’S LIKE GETTING COCKBLOCKED, BUT LIKE, EMOTIONALLY WHICH IS SO MUCH WORSE WTF

And when wwx wakes up again, he’s out of the cave!

But instead of seeing lwj’s godly visage, he wakes up to that peacock jzx and is like “you??”

Jc shows up!

Wwx: where’s lan zhan?

Jc: he left

Wwx: he left?? But he’s still injured!!

Jc: so is everyone else!! And he went back to gusu so…

Wwx: but he--

Jc: A THANK YOU WOULD BE NICE

Jc: IT’S NOT LIKE I TRAVELED WITHOUT REST FOR 7 DAYS TO GET HELP AND RESCUE YOU

Now we got to go through Plot Things

We’re at Lotus Pier!! (where wwx proceeds to pass out again!! Get used to it guys, he does this a lot)

Then the yunmeng sibs have a beautiful moment together

Okay, we’re gonna pause here BC WWX IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE??

He gets all pouty and asks jyl to clean his face for him bc his arms are too tired and jyl does it bc she loves her brother

AND HIS ADORABLE FACE

HIS SO CUTE ADORABLE FACE WHEN SHE CLEANS HIM UP

I CAN’T I CAN’T

IT’S TOO MUCH

HOW IS THIS GUY AN ACTUAL PERSON THAT EXISTS

Lol, wwx is like, i wish you’d been there in the cave with me jc, lan zhan almost bored me to death

What a liar, lol

Like he wasn't completely enraptured by LWJ's presence the ENTIRE TIME

Oh yikes, we’ve got some screwed up family dynamics in the Jiang Family courtesy of m-yu and jfm.

For the sake of my sanity we’re gonna gloss over that

Now that the parents stormed off, wwx does his best to console jc (bc his parents, double yikes)

Now watch me as a break down sobbing when wwx makes A PROMISE HE WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEEEEP

I’ll be your right hand man, he tells him. Gusu has the twin jades, but yunmeng will have twin heroes, he says

(WHY MUST YOU HURT ME THIS WAY, SHOW, WHYYYYY)

After wwx says those things about the twins, he looks up at the sky wistfully and asks jc “do you think we’ll ever see them again?”

“Them” he says, like he’s not completely talking about just lan zhan

jc’s like how the heck would i know???

And we end the episode with wwx still gazing at the sky, dreaming about his lan zhan

I mean, we don’t see it, the dreams or thoughts or whatever, but we kNOW IN OUR HEARTS THAT’S WHAT HE’S DOING

This was a Very Heterosexual episode. For that I give it 10/10 stars. I would watch that flashback sequence with him singing over and over and over and over and over and ov--

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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munchflix · 4 years

Text

MUNCHFLIX - “DEMON” HOUSE

IMDB BLURB: Paranormal investigator and moldy walnut Zak Bagans documents the most authenticated case of possession in American history.

WARNINGS: Zak Bagans is a fucking asshole. Correllation is not causation. Also mentions of suicide and murder.

RATING: An 8 out of 10 on the demon scale

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: I'm Munchflower Zaius, paranormal movie investigator. I've investigated like 10 terrible paranormal movies this week. I don't have a t.v. show but if I did it wouldn't be a ghost hunting show. I'm one of the leading researchers on ghosts and demonology because if Zak fucking Bagans is then so am I - and this is the movie that really fucked Biscuits up. This movie was the next paranormal activity, it was the next Asylum movie, and I went all out. I had resources like Amazon Prime, a great crew of just Biscuits, I thought I was gonna crush this review. But in the end...nothing was as it seemed.

M: Biscuits fell ill and couldn't leave his room for 8 days, he didn't feel like himself. He screamed and wailed and tore at his hair. (no really ) He drew pictures of Zak Bagans and set them on fire. I fired him or he quit or something. Witnesses and experts ended up in the hospital and at the heart of it all was a little screwed up ghost hunter. It took us three years to write this review, we had everything we needed...but the truth is...this film is cursed.

Biscuits: I hate this fucking movie. I have watched some terrible movies, we have reviewed some terrible movies. But this movie...this movie makes me angry beyond words. This movie makes me hate. This movie made me so furious that I not only hate it, I hate Zak Bagans, the man. I have never met him, but if I did, I think I would punch him in the balls. This review is going to be 90% me just screaming, because it makes me that mad.

M: This is gonna be my fucking opening gif right here...

B: Oh yeah, this - there's a demon here in this fucking Amazon Prime video. He got in with his fucking 30-day free trial. Oooo it's gonna come get us! I'm so scared!!

M: ...

B: Oh, Zak "I-have-a-series-on-the-Travel-Channel" Bagins! Yeah, that makes you a qualified expert demonologist, Zak. "One of the world's LEADING researchers on ghosts and demonology" - no, no you're fucking not! What do you actually know about demons?? Also, let's add the fact that Zak Bagans is a terrible actor, and his monotone narration does nothing to improve the atmosphere of the movie.

B: It took him three years to finish this film, and it still sucks! Way to go buddy, it took us three days to make that potato salad!! THREE DAYS!

B: "This film is cursed!!" Yes it is, this is the curse! It's cursed to make me angry!

M: So spoopy! I'm spooped solid, are you spooped solid? Actually, if I had to say, my spoop level is actually somewhere along the levels of 'explosive diarrhea'.

B: This movie is explosive diarrhea. That's - that's a man whistling into the microphone, subtitled as 'wind whistling'. We are Zak Bagans' therapist for a minute, helping him dissect his dreams. One time I had a dream where I traded my non-existant son for two cool posters. I don't think THAT dream meant anything. Imagine a ghost hunter having dreams about ghosts!

M: Imagine a ghost hunter.

Pictured: Zak Bagggggans confused by electrical equipment

B: We also introduce the idea of a 12-foot-tall goat man, who never really comes up in the movie again. Is that Orcus himself? Oh shit, this is getting real. I'm not high level enough to fight a demon lord!

M: The demon vaped in my face!

B: "And I knew...this was some serious shit that meant something." I COULDN'T make that shit up. Genuinely. What does it mean, Zak? Would you care to explain? I don't know what does it mean.

B: This movie is NOT actually about the well-known Gary, Indiana story of demon posession. It's mostly about Zak Bagins fucking around.

M: Mentally masturbating himself for being some sort of sick ghost expert. Why would anyone call Zak Bagans about this? I think he made that shit up.

B: So, basically, Zak Bagans bought this house in Gary, Indiana where this alleged possession took place. A newscaster pronounces his name as 'Zak Baggins'. Guys, Bilbo Baggins bought this haunted house! He bought it because he wanted to make a movie about it.

M: Why?

B: To convince everyone that his 'ghost hunting' career is legitimate and he shouldn't have dropped out of college. Useless footage of Zak Bagans convincing some homeless people to move out of this abandoned house. Don't get them involved in this, it looks very cold and they were probably just trying to find a warm place to warm place to stay. Don't get them involved in your shitty fake documentary.

M: Also, if this house is really like, MEGA haunted, why are homeless people hanging out in it? Homeless people ain't got time for ghosts.

B: No, they have real problems. Wow, this fuckin house looks like an empty house! Oh, this is the best part - he gets a text from a psychic medium. a warning he'll 'never forget', and we'll never forget either! He shows us this obviously voice-to-texted message claiming that he saw visions of a very large demon figure and that this house is, and I quote, an '8 out of 10 on the demonic scale'.

Pictured: a demonic scale.

M: I wanna see this fucking scale. I actually googled demon scale after watching this because I had never heard of a fucking demon scale. Guess what, there's no demon scale. If you have access to this demon scale, PLEASE message me. I have a mighty need to see this thing.

B: WHAT the fuck is he talking about? Where is this demon scale?? Who made this demon scale?? This bitch just literally fucking made that shit up and thought we wouldn't notice.

M: And again, what exactly does this goat demon have to do with the house? What is the actual connection?

B: Does he just like hanging out there? Also, insert shots of some guy in a goat suit to make it seem scary. But we know that's just a guy in a goat suit. I guess that's what the demon is supposed to look like?

B: This also pisses me off - Zak Bagans and his crew track down this poor family by finding their home address from news footage, which is stalking, because they won't return his phone calls.

B: Also, let's not forget Zak's claim that a clairvoyant said this house was 'home to 200 demons'. WHAT?? Zak recounts some of the story of the family's supernatural experiences. But this is about him now! This movie is about HIM!

Pictured: I really want to see his artistic rendering of this demon

M: He has about as much reverence for the supernatural as I have for him.

B: Also, they film these people from their car, perhaps as though they didn't want them to know they were being filmed! Good job Zak, stalking an innocent family to record them without their consent for your shitty, self-aggrandizing ghost show. At least they had the decency to blur faces.

B: They then say they don't want to have anything to do with the documentary. Zak Bagans makes up an excuse about how things have attached themselves to him from the house. Just leave these people alone. Problem solved. However, one guy is coerced into talking about what happened during the possession, which mostly affected the kids in the house.

M: I don't discount that something actually happened to the family that lived there, that they may have had some sort of supernatural experience. That's not really what I'm trying to say here - I just don't believe in Zak Bagans.

B: Or, whether it was supernatural or not, something obviously affected them that they perceived as paranormal that made them want to move out of the house. Of course, there are more realistic explanations for many of these experiences, but that's not what we're here to debate. Zak Bagans knows jack shit about parapsychology and is just pretending to for clout.

M: Imaginary clout... Also, these reenactments are the only good part of the movie. Props to those child actors.

Pictured: children enjoying some fortnite just before becoming possessed.

B: Also, apparently, spirits are like velcro or something. I guess you can get 'infected' with ghosts. Watch out for that coronavirus, of course, but also, watch out for GHOSTS.

B: This priest performed definitely approved and legitimate excorcisms on this house I guess.

M: It's pretty hard to get one of those these days, but what do I know...

B: Yeah, we're not the world's leading experts on ghosts and demonology!

B: Zak Bagans inserts interview footage to make his fake documentary seem legit. If it was a real documentary about the Ammonses' experience, detailing multiple points of view with people who actually know stuff about supernatural cases and/or parapsycology, it might be a good documentary. However, it is not. Zak Bagans does not know what a documentary is. He thinks he is so cool that he is the only expert necessary because he know EVERYTHING about ghosts.

B: Zak Bagans did not film this. He found footage and has nothing to say about it. He just wants you to believe that he knows stuff. I suppose it's context. But, as I've mentioned, this documentary isn't really about the Ammons family or their experiences in this house, it's about Zak Bagans.

M: All of this is just being set up to try to lend credence to the later part of this movie, which has nothing to do with any of this.

B: Zak Bagans heard someone else was having a demon party and wanted to be invited.

M: It's POSSIBLE, but it's extremely fucking unlikely. Anything is POSSIBLE. You're leading the audience, Zak.

B: Okay, if this was just a horror movie, one of those ones that's 'based ona true story', and Zak wasn't trying to pretend that this is all 100% real, it would be fine. I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it. As it is, it's Zak Bagans trying to convince us all that he's so, so cool. He has found DEFINITIVE proof of demons.

B: Of course it's creepy! It's a basement! It's like saying an attic is creepy - they're ALL creepy.

B: INDISTICT BACKGROUND NOISES??? THAT DON'T EVEN SOUND LIKE A VOICE?? Now we're getting into real ghost shit. While I don't believe Zak Bagans knows shit about ghosts or demons, he obviously has a lot of experience with indeterminate noises.

M: His entire show is indeterminate noises.

B: Ghost hunters LOVE indeterminate noises! Zak Bagans interviews a man about a weird noise on his recording. SO compelling.

B: An AM/FM radio went to static? There can't be any explanation for that other than ghosts... Zak also loves to make claims that he substantiates with NO evidence! It's almost as if he feels the FACTS might not be compelling enough. According to this police officer, the demons affect women and children physically, and 'stronger men electronically'.

M: No input on how it affects the weaker men, though.

B: Also, apparently, the epicenter of this demon outbreak is a spot of dirt under the stairs. Everybody knows dirt is demonic. Demons can't hide in concrete or solid flooring; they like a more naturalistic approach.

B: Aggravate OR abate the demon. Those seem like quite extreme options. Also, listen to the list of super spooky stuff the police officers dug up from the spot under the stairs: a pink press-on nail and PANTIES. Everyone knows a good demonic summoning ritual needs to involve lots of women's panties. VERY spooky. Also, a comb, two children's socks, a heavy bar, and a red tin. All very definitely demonic summoning artifacts and not just random items that got lost.

M: Zak refers to this pile of nonsense as a demonic altar.

Pictured: one demonic altar

B: This priest is on board too. He thinks these random objects are 100% demonic. Because of reasons. He believes it's NECROMANCY.

M: What does a priest know about necromancy? ...asking for a friend.

B: He knows it involves PANTIES.

M: I've never heard of a necromantic ritual that involves panties...not that I know anything about necromancy.

B: You know more than Zak Bagans does!

M: Ok, I am now an expert on necromancy, and hereby ALL necromantic rituals must involve women's panties...and uhh, a big stick, and a tin, and whatever else you've got laying around.

B: This cop assumed that this was a literal portal to Hell. That's where the panties came from.

M: HELL PANTIES.

B: That would be a great name for like...an all-female metal band. Or a really bad B-movie. Or both.

M: No way those panties could've gotten there any other way...demons is the only logical answer.

Pictured: Detective Gruszka finally goes to the women’s section at Macy’s

B: THE WALLS WILL OOZE GREEN SLIME! No, wait, that always happens. "Half her hand went completely white" followed by a photo of half of her hand not being completely white.

Pictured: a white person’s hand.

M: Can I just take a moment again to say how much I don't like Zak Bagans?

B: So many unrelated people...confirmed that there was something on the blinds.

M: Which means...DEMONS ARE REAL! That's the only logical conclusion, right?

B: Insert shot of a spider, because that's SPOOKY.

M: Wow, it must be a lot easier to get an excorcism these days.

M: Why did Zak Bagans record this phone call?

B: That's a very good fucking question!

M: Did he not? Is he just pulling this shit out of his ass for the camera?

B: His voice is so emotionless you can't tell.

M: Also, what relevance does this have to anything?

B: Big Hollywood producers only want money!! Unlike you, Zak, Zakary, who definitely DIDN'T make THIS movie for money or fame. This nonexistant 'other movie' about this story that is the source of all Zak's problems and DEFINITELY the reason the Ammons don't want to talk to him.

B: The homeless people and the landlord don't believe the house is haunted. That's Zak's version of trying to present a counter-point. Obviously, he never had to write an argumentative essay in school.

M: He was probably the guy in group projects who never did anything.

B: Homeless Person: "Money make you say a whole lotta stuff." Obviously, he's right.

Pictured: no comment needed

B: "I'd like to find out rather the claims are real or false. I'm not here to fabricate nothing or sensationalize on anything..." ZAK.....................................go to hell.

B: You are here ENTIRELY TO fabricate stuff and sensationalize on stuff. That's why you made this MOVIE, Zakary.

M: Gosh it's crazy, it's almost as if money makes people say things.

B: It's almost as if maybe he thought you were paying him to say things for his movie. Did you slip that priest and that police officer some money 'to leave' too? "I'm not gonna tell you that until we sit down and make an agreement" YEAH IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE WANTS MONEY!

M: Zak Bagans is basically damning himself by leaving this in here...this guy's got it figured out, though.

B: He's not telling ghost stories, he's just explaining that this is profitable. Also, Zak does passively mention that there were members of the Ammons family who claim these alleged experiences did not go on. However, he doesn't understand what refuting a counterpoint actually is. It's almost like...he can't. Because, with paranomal shit, there's never enough evidence to truly confirm or deny.

M: "Wow"

B: Wow...insert 'wow' vine here. Oh, and this part where he intentionally brings up a photo he knows is fake and has been definitively debunked. SO, just don't include it!! Also, 'mold and other things' that could've psychologically affected the residents, including carbon monoxide. I have an idea, why don't we make this whole movie about a home inspector inspecting this house...

Pictured: Munch had the mouse over the screenshot, fuck you.

M: ALSO, all this shit is just in here to make Zak Bagans SEEM like he's exploring other avenues of explanation, which he then promptly abandons.

B: Zak Bagans has to explain to us (badly) what carbon monoxide and black mold can do to a person psychologically...perhaps causing side effects that can create or enhance the sensation that something supernatural is happening. "It's something to take into consideration." - but he won't.

B: "Some other normal explanation that was now being turned into a money grab." OH. I don't even have anything to say to that. You said it, not me. "Shit got crazy." That's how you know it's legit. Also, we are 32 minutes into this hour-and-a-half long movie, and we are now reaching the point where any sort of legitimacy goes right down the fucking toilet and we are flushed into the festering sewer of Zak Bagans' mind.

B: A family who used to live in the house shows up very conveniently to be in Zak's movie. These kids seem 'very convinced' there are demons. Some mildly supernatural hearsay is presented.

M: Also, point here - if Zak Bagans really believes that spirits can just attach themselves to anyone, then wouldn't he be deliberately endangering these people by taking them down into the basement?

B: An attributed quote that we didn't hear her say...because of course. And, if the basement reminds her of her DEAD BROTHER who used to stay there, that has nothing to do with demons, and is also a perfecty legitimate reason for her to not like going back into the basement after all these years.

Pictured: A quote that nobody but Zak Biguns heard

M: Zak Bagans then proceeds to TELL THE CHILDREN that he JUST BROUGHT INTO THIS PLACE that demons can 'get inside of you and make you sick'. What, is he immune or something so he's not worried about it happening to him?

B: Also, this woman lived in the house in the 90s when she was only about 10 years old. It's almost as though, and I'm not making any claims here, that he wanted the Ammons family to be in his movie, and when they said no, he got a backup family to take their place in the script.

M: He knows all about possession, 'cause it happened to him.

B: No, for real. I was there. (I was the demon) He started doing ghost hunting because he got possessed once.

M: This is just an excuse for him to tell his origin story. Also, these kids look not on board at all with him being here.

B: Zak Bagans knows how to use Adobe Premiere. He's really proud of it. M: Again, if you believe all this is real, you are genuinely putting these people in danger. If they are legitimately afraid of ghosts following them, you are making it worse. Are you gonna come and save them, Zack?

M: I hate this fake 'EVP analysis' so much. "It SOUNDS like..." yeah, it can sound like anything if you tell people it does.

B: "What's wrong with this boy" is that you TOLD HIM that ghosts could latch onto him! Maybe he's SCARED because YOU SCARED HIM on purpose.

M: Then we get some black-and-white footage of Zak Bagans being a dick, and that's...proof of demons.

B: You pushed this guy a little bit. Honestly, it didn't look like you were pushing him that hard. It's also convenient that you weren't recording at the time but immediately started recording again as soon as you stepped out of the house, because this is all real, and definitely exactly how it happened.

B: These guys have to explain to Zak what he did, so that the audience can also get explained to what happened in the footage they just saw. I don't know anyone could have construed that as anything other than a genuine demonic possession.

M: He's not even a credible actor, like there's nothing believable about these performances. It's such shit. Zak Bagend must leave (for no reason) but then someone tries to break into what he repeatedly calls " My House" as if he lives there. Why would anyone want to break into his jank ass haunted house? This seems really unlikely. Zachhh says the cops won't go in the house. Too scared. Zak says it's " a different kind of haunting." Wtf does that even mean?

M: Zak is now interviewing the CPS worker from the case that this was supposed to be about.

B: Yeah you remember that?

M: No, not anymore. She seems credible, Zak Bagnnnns does not. I really don't believe he believes in any of this.

B: Yeah ask the woman about her emotional trauma, Zak. Ask a CPS worker about her trauma. Be like oh so this was a traumatic experience for you? You should talk about it with me for this shitty documentary!

M: She says her therapist told her to seek help. That's...pretty bad right? When your therapist says to seek help? Now some informative badly edited cards about things that allegedly happened in this house. Why didn't we hear anything from the home inspector who was choked in his sleep and got cancer??? That's some real shit!

Pictured: The one guy we really wanted to hear from

B: This DEFINITELY had everything to do with demons. Demons are the #1 cause of cancer in the United States. They don't want you to know that.

M: Oh the fucking bike ride. On his way to do a second exorcism on Latoya ( why did she need a second exorcism?) this priest fell off his bike. Because demons.

B: Well you know it's not an exact science. I'd go so far as to say it's not science! It's not even science adjacent. Zak Bagel doesn't even know wtf science is.

M: I am literally laughing out loud. This priest says the demon was trying to figure out what would stop him from going forward with this second exorcism and the best thing this fucking demon, this 8 out 10 DEMON ON THE DEMON SCALE DEMON can come up with is knocking a dude off his bike?? Just get back on your bike, man.

B: This is my major problem with this movie, especially this second half. Zak Brainend presenting all this random shit that happened and blaming it on demons. This is the 21st century, we don't blame all our problems on demons. We don't live in the middle ages. This priest falling off his bike wasn't because of demons.

M Correllation is not causation. This detective fucking slid on ice two days after being in the house and ended up in the ER. That is not because of demons. Wait...is he interviewing him in the fucking ghost house?

B: And then he brings up him being shot during a home invasion and blames that on demons.

M: So he gets a call from Mika who was part of the backup family to tell him her daughter is in distressl WHY would you call Zak Braggans?

Pictured: A girl with her face blurred out because I’m not Zak Bagans

B: This pisses me off. If this girl is actually suicidal and actually tried to kill herself, you don't put that in your shitty demon movie. If she's actually depressed and hurting herself you don't put that in there. It's not cool. It's very exploitative. You don't know anything about ths girl's mental illness or anything that's going on in her life. If this is all indeed real and not scripted, you're just a piece of shit!

M: But demons!

B: Stay out of it Zak, this doesn't involve you. You're not a psychologist or a therapist, it's not your business.

B: One of his crew members quits. Because of the demons.

M: And not because he thought maybe Zak exploiting a suicidal girl was bad. Where did they find this priest anyway, he seems so sketchy.

B: I'm also pissed that they brought this suicidal girl in to have an EXORCISM. She needs mental help and therapy and a licensed person to help her. You don't give her an exorcism and go oh you're fine. When the exorcism doesn't work she's going to feel extra shitty. But whatever Zak, it's your fucking movie. You do whatever you want for your movie. Who am I to tell you what you can and can't do with a suicidal teenage girl.

M: This confirms to me that this priest is sketchy as fuck. If he was reliable he would have said Zak no, this girl needs actual help. Zak is still blaming demons. I hate him so much. I hate his stupid douchebag face.

B: And he sits here and puts this girl on camera and asks her questions about it. NO NO fuck you, genuinely fuck you Zak. Again, this is exploitative as shit. Trying to make cutting her wrists into being some kind of stigmata. Fuck you. This doesn't have anything with demons.

Pictured: A religious phenomena usually experienced by the very devout

M: Why would demons invoke stigmata anyway, that's....not how that works.

B: It's just feels like Zak Blehgins is exploiting this family and trying to convince them that everything is demons from this house they spent 10 minutes in. Again, it's like he has no idea what he shouldn't do. Nobody thought to ask her about her feelings. If this is real she needs help and not Zak Blahggg asking her questions with a camera in her face.

M: This poor teenage girl does not want to be in this. Her head drops and they're like OKAY EXORCISM OVER SHE'S FINE. Then Zak's psychic friendo Debbie tries to make contact with the demon remotely. Why? Why would she invite that? Does she wanna hang out?

B: Is she gonna like text the demon? Facebook messenger? How many psychic friends does he have?

M: Oh she succeeded I guess and it said WHARBLGARBL. And then Debbie was killed in a double murder suicide.

Pictured: Wharblgarble

B: Her husband murdered her and her roommate and if you really cared you would not put this in your goddamn demon documentary. Can you just leave shit like this out of it? Tie your friend's murder into your damn demons. This is why I hate Zak Biguns. He's a fucking manipulative asshole who tries to spin murder and suicide and cancer into his conspiracy theory movie about demons. ANOTHER point, the common thread among all of these stories is YOU, Zak, you could make exactly the same point about you. He also found a Hell is Real sign. Also trying to claim that demonic activity is higher in areas with high crime rates, poverty and murders.

M: And now some facts about Gary, Indiana.

B: And also exploiting this poverty stricken predominately black community. A segment where we explore actual problems that this place has. Zak you fucking absolute....

M: Zak is now telling us that like 5 people died there but he can't discount that someone close to the Ammonses might have cursed the house and invited the demons. Like...5 people dying there wasn't enough for you Zak? Zak's gonna go kick Latoya's boyfriend's ass because he thinks he tried to curse them with panties. That's a real thing that's happening. Zak can now tell whether people are into the occult by looking at them.

B: Another previously unknown superpower. Maybe he has a white savior complex.

M: MAYBE? The boyfriend doesn't wanna talk. Big shock.

B: What did you think was gonna happen.

M: This guy is a piece of work. Dr. Barry Taff, who holds a doctorate in psychophysiology. ( the study of the relationship between physiological and psychological phenomena, I had to look it up so you get to learn too, bitches ) He's gonna come and see if electromagnetic stuff is causing the demons. But everything is normal so...therefore demons. But there's a spike in the basement. That doesn't mean it's demons though. In fact, it would seem to indicate the opposite.

B: This happens on a lot of ghost hunting shows. I'm not sure what your weird electromagnetic shit has to do with ghosts but..?

Pictured: Zak Bagans realizing he’s a huge idiot

M: Now Zak has to go walk off again. He's being really affected by these demons. Weren't there supposed to be like 200 demons here or something? Doesn't this really do more to explain that demons aren't real?

Z: Zak Braggins is a superconductor. He also seems genuinely surprised by what this guy is telling him.

M: That's because he doesn't understand science. Something causes him to lunge at the doctor, which is totally believable.

B: He just got mad the guy wasn't telling him it was demons. Fuck you and your science! The doctor hears a dog. Everyone knows demons bark like dogs. You said it was goat man, why does it bark like a dog?

M: So much footage of dudes just walking around supposedly being affected. Might be the carbon monoxide they actually detected earlier? Or the black mold?

B: I love this part! This is fucking great. Footage of this guy walking around and then the cameraman's finger gets in the shot. It totally doesn't look exactly like what happens when you put your finger in front of the lens. Totally.

M: It's demons, obviously. The black anomaly. It's a fucking finger. They're just filming this dude walking around who seems to be ill and claiming he's touching the anomaly and shit. Take this dude to the fucking doctor.

B: They take it to some NASA dude who enhances it and says there's no way it's the cameraman's finger. I still don't believe it's not the cameraman's finger. Oh shit, I just realized...I have fingers!

M: It might be a dick.

B: If this cameraman and the doctor both feel faint, maybe you should just get out of the house!

M: This literally sounds like carbon monoxide poisoning which can cause nauseau, headaches, confusion, memory loss and literally every other thing except bad acting. Adam the cameraman wanders off and they find him in the basement. He later apparently starts VOMITING BLOOD??? Take this boy to the hospital! He starts screaming Zak in a weird voice so they decide to film it, natch.

Pictured: Criminal negligence

B: Zak....zaaaaaaaaak i need to go to the hospital....this seems like negligence. M: Now they've lost him. Lots of footage of Adam being really aggressive for no reason. Nobody is concerned any longer about his vomiting blood. Something is wrong with this dude and you assholes are filming him. Adam wants to go to the house because of reasons that I'm sure are 100 percent legit. Maybe he's just tired of being in this shit ass movie with these shit ass friends. Zak says this is the scariest thing he's ever seen in his life.

B: This movie is the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life.

M: I honestly love the Adam bit. It's so fake. This dude is just being a dick on camera and Zak is like IT'S OBVIOUSLY DEMONS. Dr. Taff has a loud noise in his ear later on that wakes him up.

B: He's literally explaining exploding head syndrome. I have this, I know what it is. Characterized by loud noise you suddenly imagine just before you fall asleep, and can also occur as you wake up in the night. Google it. Also not caused by demons!

M: He wakes up with blood in his ears. Go to the hospital!

B: Or he had a stroke, or an aneurysm.

M: Meanwhile...Adam is getting interviewed instead of going to the hospital for barfing up blood. Adam doesn't wanna be on tape but they tape him secretly because they're fucking assholes. Adam says you know what I said bruh and Zak is like omfg the goatman.

Pictured: It’s hard to find good images because this movie is also badly badly filmed and it’s just shitty creepy shots and then Zak talking.

B: It wants you, Zak, you're the leader of the bunch.

M: Adam has a fucking aura of freezing air and EMF around him but we don't get to see any of the instruments they're using to record that.

B: These are obviously some very trustworthy guys.

M: They are filming him without his consent.

B: Seems to be a recurring theme.

M: Dr. Taff finally gets to a fucking hospital where his organs are shutting down. Like every single one of them. He mentions infection in his prostate.

B: I don't think his organ failure is best explained by demons. He has a severe medical problem.

M: All these people he's saying got sick and NOBODY fucking went to a hospital?

B: No..my dude...you are sick. You have a medical problem, not demons. M: Oh and now Adam has been removed from the crew because he's being weird and violent. They try to get him help but Adam refuses. I think Adam just got sick of their shit.

B: They had to make something up.

M: You have anything you wanna say here before Zak boards himself up in the house...alone...overnight?

B: Have fun, big guy.

M: Zakkkk " I know this sound stupid..."

B: It IS stupid. You set yourself up for that one. We're gonna have a sleepover with the demons! Pictured...the tiny penis in it's natual habitat.

M: This part is so fucking dumb. It's just....deeply deeply dumb.

B: They also moved in furniture so Zak can be comfy with the demon. And then... nothing happened. Lots of shots of absolutely nothing happening. I feel like I'm watching Paranormal Activity

M: Except stuff happened in that. Now in fast forward. Zak takes off his coat.

Pictured: the horror of seeing Zak Bagans undress

OOH SPOOKY. Nothing is happening. At all. He sits down and checks his phone so we can learn he doesn't wanna do lights out. Why? Nothing is happening. He just keeps opening doors. What is Sebastian? I'm arranging matches. He makes sures the door is locked.

B: Make sure the audience knows he's boarded up in there. You so brave. So big dick macho brave. You did this, Zak. Zak is scared of the dark. It's okay. It's natural.

M: I don't know why he's bitching. He orchestrated this. OOH LIGHTS OUT. NIGHT VISION ON. NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

B: This part also feels like the intro to some weird night vision demon porno, he's just walking around with a camera.

M: That would at least be interesting. Nothing is happening at all. We just keep getting time cuts to more nothing happening. Finally they will decide this is too much nothing happening and make up some shit.

B: It's almost like shit's really boring when Zak doesn't have people around to help him make up shit. Hey did you guys hear a sound? No.

Pictured: Lies

M: 4:51 am. When will this end? How much more nothing happening does the audicence need. And not to put too fine a point on it...but this house is the DEMON HOUSE. Supposedly haunted by over 200 demons and a goat-man and also an 8 out of 10 on the demon scale, and NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

M: Zak is getting a headache. Probably because of carbon monoxide. There's an obviously faked goat-ish noise. Zak tells it to get away because that's gonna work. Shoo, demon.

Pictured: A man gets mouthy while backed against a wall in fear

B: He sounds very sincere. Back the fuck up, man. Why do these dudes always try to get all up in the demon's face? Fuck you, demon. Maybe the demon just thinks you're rude. He was just trying to say hi.

M: A title card pops up to say that Zak Bagans witnessed a dark mass come out of the wall. There's cameras literally fucking everywhere but we don't get to see that.

B: Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink.

M: Now his eyes hurt. Which makes him yell and knock shit over

. B: Can you imagine how we feel in quarantine? He develops diplopia. Double vision.

M: It's not that serious, Zak. Doctors can't figure out what caused it. This does not mean it was caused by fucking demons. We get updates on Kevin who apparently caught a demon from Zak. Adam went goth.

B: Adam got tattoos and we looked him up and he makes horror movies and shit now. He just looks like a metalhead. I wanna say something here again about Dr. Taff and his diplopia. He's acting like doctors not knowing the cause of something is rare. It is not. Anyone with chronic health issues can tell you that. Tests and doctors are not infallible and it's often hard to diagnose things even if they're severe.

M: Speaking as someone with chronic health issues, this is the case more often than not. The house has not taken a toll on you people you fucking walnut.

B: We get a long list of correlation is not causation.

M: So Zak decides to bulldoze the house, thus freeing the demons loose in the world to do their dark dark bidding.

B: Or something. My theory is that he bulldozed the house so nobody could go back there and his investigation would be the FINAL word on the matter, like so he could be the ultimate authority on this case and nobody could come back and try to contest him...or try to profit off of these events after him.

M: Closing thoughts?

B: Zak Briggins seems like a complete douche. When you start the movie he's just some guy who hunts ghosts and thinks he knows things. But as it goes on, you see he's also very exploitative and manipulative and not a good guy! He takes advantage of people's deaths and mental issues and health problems to further his demon agenda. In conclusion, fuck you Zak Bagans.

M: Zak claims that even tho the house is gone, the cops keep calling to tell him to tell him people are doing satanic rituals at the site on the regular. Why would the cops even call him for that? There's no house there. I call bullshit. On ALL of this. This story IS cursed, man. Don't expose yourself or your loved ones to the horrors of Demon House.

B: I call bullshit on there being producers on this movie.

M: That's fair. I miss Ghost Hunters.

#ghost adventures #zak bagans #munchflix #humor #ghost #demon house #ghost hunting #ghost hunters #zak baggans

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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October 16: 1x19 Tomorrow Is Yesterday

Today, one of the best, most entertaining, and most fun TOS episodes.

This intro is so strange lol. If I were watching this in 1967, I’d be like “Has Star Trek been preempted by something dumb?” It’s also very short.

That is in fact the definition of a UFO--what’s less identified than the Enterprise?

I can’t wait until a space ship of people from the future shows up. It’s 2020 so anything could happen.

Captain’s Log: This is weird!

I love all the shots of the Enterprise through this ep. How clearly it’s cut and pasted against the sky, the weird and jerky way it moves.

So I was confused by the use of the term “black star”--it is in fact a black hole (Spock’s eternal nemesis lol); that term just wasn’t well known or settled on to describe that particular phenomenon in 1967.

The method of time travel reminds me of The Naked Time (wasn’t that also like snapping a rubber band?) and according to the amazon trivia, this was supposed to be The Naked Time part two--which actually would have been pretty cool.

“If Scotty’s not dead” lol. How dark.

Amazed by how efficient this ship is--they get those reports back to Spock really damn fast.

I love how Kirk is so smart and good at history that he can immediately date when they are based on the news about a moon landing. (Although actually this episode pre-dates the actual moon landing so that was just a guess as to when it would happen, which I find AMAZING tbh.)

The drama of the time travel reveal! Close up on Kirk’s face: WHAT??

Sulu’s eye makeup is great. Bones’s is too, later.

“The craft might have nuclear warheads, which would be rather inconvenient for us.”

Kirk doesn’t know his own lady’s strength. Whoops, we accidentally destroyed your ship.

Why does Christopher beam up standing? Because it would be too funny if he beamed up sitting and then immediately fell on his ass?

Kirk immediately checks him out, and then starts flirting. He is so shameless.

“I’m a Captain too! I’m from Iowa!”

“Woman?” / “Crewman” feminist exchange paired with that horn music that usually accompanies Jessica Rabbit. Well A for effort boys.

The Enterprise is one of only 12 in the fleet. Not that that’s really trustworthy since everything in S1 of TOS is seat of the pants random facts and numbers lol. This episode refers to BOTH Starfleet and UESPA--and possibly the Federation? Already can’t remember. I don’t understand any more than Captain Christopher does.

“We’re a combined service.” Combined from what?

Captain Christopher was one of the best guest characters. Love how he’s on this amazing futuristic ship and the only thing he can say about it is “you guys sure fuck up a lot.”

Spock is having tons of fun with the new Earthman like IMMEDIATELY. “I also don’t believe in little green men--by which I mean don’t call me little.”

Another ep in which Spock is referred to as a Lt. Cmdr. while pretty clearly wearing a Commander’s uniform.

“Don’t touch anything.”

“Anything else on your mind, Mr. Spock? A threesome perhaps?”

“Jim, we cannot not exist.”

“That flight suit must be uncomfortable”--so unsubtle in wanting to get him undressed. “Why don’t you slip into something a little more comfortable, Captain?”

“Signet 14 is a planet dominated by women...with a sense of humor.”

“You can’t go home now that you know what the future looks like--damn fine, I mean take a look at us.”

“We’ve no place to go!” Oh Scotty, always coming in to burst some bubbles. They should have just gone on tours everyone’s home towns for fun.

And now Captain Christopher tries to escape. Exactly what Kirk would do in his situation. And yet Kirk is perplexed: “I sent him to his room--and he’s not in his room!”

Bones is so convinced that they have to leave and get back to their own time because they can’t have 435 people just wandering around 20th century Earth changing the timelines and that’s legit--but I think they could have stuck him in 1960s Georgia and he’d do fine. Except for the racism.

“Now you’re sounding like Spock.” Jim! How dare!!

“Could he be reeducated to forget his family” sounds VERY suspicious out of context. Or, really, in context.

Bones identifying that Spock is joking is hilarious and sweet. He pretends he doesn’t know him, but he does.

Kirk’s face when Spock is talking about Christopher Jr. is so MUCH--he looks like he could try.

I love the colors of this episode. I would buy a color tv for this for sure.

“Our tractor beam caught and crushed an Air Force plane.” Well that’s not good. Hard to explain that one.

Sulu gets to go on a one-on-one away mission with the Captain! And he’s obviously having a grand time.

“Look at this cool bulletin board!”

“Look at this primitive computer!” Which Kirk can identify because he likes going to museums because he’s a NERD I rest my case.

I feel like Spock is super alien today. Just giving off a lot of alien vibes. “I am working on my calculations.”

This episode is so hilarious; I love it. This guy’s reactions to Kirk and Sulu and their communicator, and their reactions to him and the whole situation. It’s really pretty cure comedy without much bearing on the plot--just for fun.

“I don’t hear anything.” I mean--you’re officers?? That’s the best you can do?

“Hmmm, you’re not Jim.” “We seem to have another problem.” “An unfortunate accident.” Bones taking the gun and probably keeping it. The absolutely on point score. “Our guest seems quite satisfied to remain where he is.”

Also “A subplot of this episode is that Kirk and Sulu steal government documents from an Air Force base” sounds very fake, but it’s completely true and accurate.

Kirk just straight up LAUNCHING himself at those guys. The ONLY valid fight scenes are in Star Trek TOS and it’s all because of Kirk and his highly choreographed fight moves.

“Three against one? Why don’t you get two more guys and make it a fair fight.”

But then as soon as he’s caught he turns on the charm.

Spock: “Poor photography.” He never knows the right thing to say, does he?

And now the obligatory moment when Bones accuses Spock of not caring about Jim even though he of all people should know better.

This interrogation scene is also hilarious and one of my favorites. How he doesn’t say his middle name is Tiberius. Wincing when they throw the weapon around. “I’m a little green man from Alpha Centuri.” “This little thing? Just something I slipped on.” “Two hundred years? That oughtta be just about right.”

Tbh sometimes I do feel better about the AOS!Kirk characterization because of scenes like this. Like, you could see that mid-20s Kirk turning into this mid-30s Kirk; the sense of humor is similar.

This man in the beret is having a fun time. I think he’d like to stay here. Also, I find the food replicators in the transporter room really random but I guess that was a budget issue.

This is such a good-natured episode. Everyone’s so friendly, so forgiving of light moments of back-stabbery, so generally good-hearted.

You’ve seen the Vulcan nerve pinch, now get ready for the Sulu shoulder chop! And then the Vulcan nerve pinch! And then the Kirk very-fake-looking punch in the face!

Spock so obviously wants to kiss it better. The camera is away from them for so long, it’s possible there was a lot of hand fondling going on.

And then everything about the rest of the scene--how Spock somehow leaves by one door and comes in by another to get behind Christopher; how he lurks out of focus in the background; the random shots of Sulu’s face; all the opportunities for Kirk to look Fond.

Aw, poor Christopher. Didn’t get into NASA but he still gets to go to space. I wonder if a part of him did remember all this and that’s how he inspired his son to work on the Saturn probe.

Also there is no way for DC Fontana or anyone else to know this but there was a Saturn probe launched in 2004, which is approximately the right timeline to match this ep--if Christopher’s son was born in 1970, he would have been in his mid-30s in 2004.

“You only have 15 years, so you better hurry”--Kirk, hurrying to get his last flirty comment in.

More shaky ship and more people throwing themselves around the set. Never gets old.

Christopher sure learned the ship fast. He’s already pushing buttons to talk to the bridge. Maybe NASA made a mistake.

Scotty is a genius lol--they were SUPER precise in getting both of those guys back to the exact right moment in time.

“Mr. Scott is still with us”--again!

Uhura really likes the lady computer voice.

“The Enterprise is home!”

Amazing ep, as expected. I don’t have deep commentary on it because it wasn’t a deep episode, but it was a rollicking fun time. Next up is Court Martial, primarily memorable for the introduction of Kirk’s ex-girlfriend, The Lawyer.

#star trek tos #the year 2020 #2020: fandom thoughts #2020: star trek

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aconitemare · 4 years

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[jaydick] Before That, And Colder

Chapter Four

AO3

Previous Chapter

Dick kicks his foot in the air repeatedly, inspecting the pink flowers on his white Oxfords. He’s pretending to ignore the people around him — possibly, he is actually ignoring them, as the outlines of their bodies blur around his fancy footwear. He leans farther back on Jason’s desk, conjuring the picture of ease. To his left rests Jason’s Red Hood helmet in a gargoyle-fashion. Everyone here knows Jason Todd is the Red Hood, but Dick is just Richie Grayson, D-list celebrity. The sleeves of his pretentiously silk bomber jacket, embroidered with colorful roosters, slip slightly down his shoulder.

“Is this really the best time to be hiring people? Specifically this person?” This question comes from James — or “Wingman,” as Jason earlier informed him of. James is up-and-coming, bat-themed, Gotham-based vigilante who believes the Red Hood is absolutely critical to public safety. Dick has not yet shared this detail with Batman, having only received it an hour before this current meeting, but he’s hoping they’ll share a good laugh over that.

“No time like the present,” Jason says without much concern. He stands beside the desk, a few feet from Dick.

Dick catches James crossing his arms from the corner of his eyes. The defensive body language convinces him to focus more on the arrangement of people. Suzie Su still sits on the recliner, seemingly indifferent. Her sisters, one of which Dick recognizes as the waitress who intercepted him and Miguel earlier, flock around Su either on the couch or near her armrest; all except for Night, Dick’s blackjack dealer yesterday, who now occupies a distant corner of the room by herself. Miguel sits in the recliner opposite Suzie Su, playing with his tie. James stands the closest to Dick and Jason and busies himself with looking like he eats nails for breakfast.

“The son of Bruce Wayne is hardly a sound addition to the Outlaws,” James points out.

Suzie Su’s head swivels towards Jason. “Oh, no,” she says, suddenly invested, “Whatever ‘the outlaws’ is, count me out of it. I’m going legit, you promised!”

Jason takes a page from Dick’s book and seats himself on the corner of his desk. He grips the edge, knees spread, so that he looks like he’s riding a horse. For an unstably diverse crowd, he’s rather at ease at the head of it, Dick notes. Jason holds up a silencing finger and begins his address, “Firstly, the Outlaws are too legit for any mere mortal to handle, that includes you, Su, so stuff it. Secondly, James, you can also stuff it because no one’s inviting Richie Rich onto the team except you, it would seem.”

So, does that mean I don’t get to see the Super Secret Clubhouse and make friendship bracelets? Dick almost says. Instead, he receives a text alert and checks his phone to see Bruce left him a message.

What is your plan of action? it reads.

Dick quickly shoots back a non-committal text, wary of Jason sensing Batman’s concern through the phone. Luckily, Jason doesn’t pay Dick’s texting any mind, preoccupied with his stand-off against Wingman.

James persists, undeterred by Jason’s skilled dismissal. “Batman isn’t exactly in your corner, Todd. He is, however, in Wayne’s pocket. As is Richie Grayson.”

Dick frowns; his current persona is apparently no longer a good fit. He will need to adjust accordingly. Dick sits up straighter on the desk and tucks his legs. “I have my own funds, as a matter of fact,” he speaks up. Jason’s eyes slice into him — oh, right, Dick’s not supposed to talk while meeting the in-laws. Oh, well. He continues, “I work for the Bludhaven Police Department.”

Dick touches his jacket collar and inspects the interior fabrice. “I try to dress nice when there might be cameras so I don’t make Bruce look bad, but most of it’s bought off-price at Marshalls.” This last part is a lie as he rarely buys his own photo op clothes. Bruce has a personal stylist who keeps everyone’s wardrobe at the Manor stocked. Dick hit up his old bedroom on the way to the hotel.

“You’re a cop,” James repeats.

Dick holds back a wince. So much for Agent 37’s kick-ass undercover portfolio. “Every cop’s a little dirty in the ‘Haven,” he says, hopefully smoothly.

Unfortunately, James does not find this comforting. “So not only are you a cop who knows about the Iceberg’s business, but you’re not even a good cop?”

Dick points at Jason. “He murders people,” he deflects.

Jason sighs obnoxiously loud. “Richie has information and contacts,” Jason increases his volume when James looks like he wants to say something else, “neither of which are anyone’s business at the moment but mine. Believe it or not, but I’m pretty attached to my life, in both a literal and figurative sense, and so if I say the guy from that one lady-service Pantene commercial is going to keep my organs safely inside my body, rest assured, I have done my research.”

This standing ovation inspires Dick to wonder whether Jason saw that commercial on cable or some other venue. He tries and fails to imagine Jason watching Friends reruns. Maybe he caught it off some gun review video on Youtube. This is the kind of media Dick assumes Jason consumes.

“Great to know,” says Suzie Su flatly. “So, Richie, who’s trying to whack our boss?”

“No one yet. There have been no attempts on his life thus far,” Dick responds. Then, “Also, you can just call me Dick.”

“Shouldn’t be too tough,” Suzie Su remarks.

“The situation will escalate, though,” James states, “There is no doubt that Red Hood is the final target.”

“Correct. Which is why it’s important that we trust each other,” Dick says. He levels a gaze at everyone in the room except for James, which should indicate to him that he’s the object of criticism without presenting Dick as outwardly hostile. “If we are too busy suspecting each other without any evidence, we allow for outside threats to slip past our radar.” Dick can only hope they will take this to heart; it will be harder for him to investigate Jason’s people if they’re also investigating him.

“Truth,” Miguel agrees as he stands to his feet and walks towards Dick. “Although it kind of worked out for us this time, right? You following me, us following you?” As he approaches, he extends a hand and Dick dismounts from the desk. “Welcome to the team, Dick,” Miguel says, clapping Dick on the shoulder as they shake. His smile is warm and sincere. Dick feels an equally genuine grin spread across his face.

“Alright, alright,” Jason says, leaning from his spot on the desk to bat an arm at them. “What did I just say about teams, dude,” he gripes. Miguel shrugs rather blithely before he returns to his chair. Dick appreciates what he hopes will be the one easy-going personality in this tense bunch.

Jason claps his hands together and stands. “Okay, here’s the deal: I want someone always watching my vehicle for the next, fuck, two weeks, I guess? One week?” He looks to Dick for confirmation. Dick mouths, ‘longer.’ “One week to start, cool,” Jason locks in his answer. “I don’t mean from the cameras, as I really am hoping to catch this person ASAP and get back to my regularly scheduled gangbanging.”

Dick watches the crowd: Miguel gives a whoop, Suzie Su rolls her eyes, one of the sisters not standing in the corner laughs.

“So, that means I need you,” Jason flourishes his arm in the air and brings it dramatically down like a hammer, finger pointing sharply at Miguel, “to physically be in the parking lot.”

Miguel looks around in bafflement. “I’m the owner. That would look weird,” he says, gesturing towards himself.

Jason rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure everyone is lining up for your autograph, too, now come off it. No one here is instantly recognizable except for me, and that’s mostly to do with the helmet,” Jason pats the helmet beside him emphatically, “giving me serious red Darth Vader vibes.”

Dick suppresses a laugh. Jason hears him anyway, but that turns out to be not so bad. Jason’s eyes flicker towards him but they’re absent of reproach, which is how Dick realizes he had expected to be growled at for his humor. But Jason made the joke, didn’t he? He goes so far as to smile, not threateningly, but pleasantly. Dick wants to call it soft even.

Jason’s eyes are back on the ragtag team within the second. He explains properly his reasoning to Miguel. “The subject’s abilities and target range are unknown to us. You’re our safest bet for handling whatever he might be capable of. And you can wear whatever you want.” Dick assumes that last bit is weighted with the implication of a supersuit, although Miguel’s secret identity may very well be known considering the lack of visible confusion on anyone’s face. Of course, that could just be indifference; no one in this room seems particularly interested in each other.

“If you see someone snooping, wait it out. If you see someone put something on my bike, apprehend them and bring them to me where I can then proceed to shoot their brains out,” Jason instructs. Dick tries to say something, but Jason says over his attempt, “If they’re guilty.”

“Not really the problem,” Dick mutters.

“The Su Brigade can, I don’t know, keep doing what you’re doing, I guess? Keep an eye on suspicious figures.”

Dick chimes in, “This time, however, immediately report to Jason or myself. Don’t rush in unless the threat is urgent. Don’t,” he motions to James, “text James, or whatever it is you guys did. That was sloppy and uncoordinated.”

James shifts his weight more evenly. Dick instantly recognizes the implicit challenge and straightens his back. “Text you, huh? What, you the boss now?”

Dick files through his possible responses, weighs the best tone to take, the stance to adopt. Should he pick up the gauntlet and try to assert dominance, or go for diplomacy? He doubts this will come to blows, but the direction he takes this could have later consequences, could affect Jason’s safety even in the long-run.

Dick almost misses the change in Jason’s posture, but it’s instantaneous. “He’s close enough,” Jason has already spoken, no longer leaning against the desk but standing with his hands deceptively plunged into his jeans pockets and his searing green eyes locked on James. “More the boss than you are, at any rate, so yeah, I’d text him.” He sounds almost casual, accent set in a lazy Gotham drawl, yet there’s an angered click to how he sets his teeth. He’s intimidating, alright, the sharp cut of his cheeks complementing his strong jaw. He’s quite Hollwood-esque actually, Dick thinks — at least before he realizes Jason is looking right back at him. Jason raises his eyebrows and spins his fingers in a prompting manner. “Well? Anything else you’d like to derail the meeting with, Dick?”

And just like that, Jason manages to personally undermine the power he just gave him. Dick is bordering on impressed, restrained only by his sudden irritation. Dick simply smiles and says, “You’re the boss.”

“Fantastic. James! How do you feel about interrogating people you can’t beat up?” Jason proposes to the next member of the non-team.

Dick thinks James could question people without beating them up just fine, especially after the practice he got in while interrogating Dick. James doesn’t comment on whether he’s up to the task, however, but replies, “Who am I interrogating?”

Jason grins and quickly bows his body. “A witness. Exciting, right? Unfortunately, no, not exciting. This will suck for you. Daniel Garcia, the second victim, should be at Gotham General Hospital — fingers crossed he has insurance, because otherwise you’ll have to find out where he lives and talk to him there.”

Dick could be projecting, but he thinks James puffs up his chest at this. “I can find anyone anywhere,” vows James.

“I’ve no doubt, buddy. I just would prefer he not have to relive everything the second he gets home because a stranger wants to hear the gory details,” Jason explains. His tone is slightly scolding. There might be some decency in him yet. Dick immediately feels guilty for being surprised. Jason is a good guy. A good guy. He’s said as much to Bruce. Did he forget to tell himself the same thing?

“Bring some flowers to soften things,” Dick suggests.

“Flowers don’t soften a crowbar, Dick,” Jason disagrees. Still, he adds for James, “But yeah, bring flowers. The family won’t like you for it, but they’ll hate you even more if you don’t.”

“Do we have to do anything?” Suzie Su asks, a little unhappily, it would seem. Dick doesn’t trust her. Then again, would she be so openly disloyal if she was double-crossing? The only person in this room Dick trusts is Miguel — and even then, if there’s one thing Batman has been trying to drill into him for half his life, it’s that trust is a liability. Anyone here could logically be a mole. Anyone here could be loyal, too.

“No, Suzie Su, I expect absolutely nothing from you and that’s why I dragged you to a staff meeting, so you could sit on your ass and pick at your nails,” Jason intones. Suzie Su drops her manicured nails to her lap and glares at him. Jason sticks his tongue out in response. “You and your lovely sisters of questionable bloodline are my ears to the ground.”

“So, same as before?”

Jason cocks his head, shakes it up and down as if weighing the question, and says, “K-i-i-i-i-nd of? It’s like what you were doing before, but not complete garbage. Need I remind you that you let this idiot into my office.” Jason jabs his thumb in Dick’s direction.

Miguel raises his finger. He’s properly relaxed in his cushiony recliner, legs crossed and arms spilling over the back. “Ah, but you let the idiot stay,” he reminds Jason.

Dick twists his lips. “Thanks, Miguel. Or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” Jason decides. “Alright, everyone out of my office and onto the things I demand of you. Dick, you’re coming with me.”

The crowd is already dispersing. Dick hops off the desk and pats the wrinkles from his pants. “Why’s that? I thought you didn’t want me breathing down your neck.”

Jason’s back is to Dick as he fastens his Red Hood helmet over his head, which tips Dick off that some of his people outside the office might still not know who’s under the mask. Jason’s response is rougher than before. “You saw the tapes, didn’t you?” The energy from only a minute ago has melted from his voice. The helmet lights up then and Jason’s next words are modulated, shrouded in static. “That makes you the expert.”

Dick does not miss the irony of this statement.

___________

Dick has Jason drive him to Bludhaven. Jason has many cars and not a single one is worth less than $80,000. “How do you blend in?” Dick asked on the way to his shitty apartment across the pond, Jason looking absolutely put-upon by the half-hour drive. His Red Hood helmet has been stowed away in a personally customized, hidden compartment. “I don’t,” Jason simply replied. Dead guys, according to Jason, don’t need to feign poverty. Especially if those dead guys are better known for their underground empires and resort casinos. However, two rich men in a luxury vehicle don’t have much business commiserating with the family of boys like Terry Weind. So, the two stop by Bludhaven to pick up Dick’s Saturn and allow him to change into less flamboyant clothes.

Dick chooses a threadbare BPD t-shirt and jeans. Jason stays in his signature ensemble of leather jacket and combat boots. He raises his brows at Dick’s outfit, but Dick insists it’s a good choice. Even if they don’t like the police, he’s still out of uniform and unarmed, and they’ll know this isn’t his territory. He’ll seem like a commuter, which might even win him some subconscious sympathy; many people in downtown Gotham have to commute to Bludhaven, albeit usually for a fishery job and not the police department.

Jason waits in the car for Dick to come out. Dick invites him in, but secretly he’s relieved. The place is a mess. If how he keeps his office is a hint, Jason’s habits are immaculate. They would put Dick to shame. Dick taps Jason’s window to signal they’re switching to the Saturn. Jason takes an excessively long time to part with his car, all but cooing at it, but does eventually make it over. He settles into the passenger seat, looking Dick up and down.

“What?” Dick asks, perhaps defensively. He should’ve said something like, “Like what you see?” but it’s too late for that.

Jason shrugs casually, but his eyes flicker to Dick’s hair. “Nothing. You just look normal now.”

Dick jams his keys into the ignition, because he has to be rough for the car to start, and rolls his eyes. “You mean my hair’s not gay?”

“Eh. Less gay.” And then Jason is reaching out and ruffling his hair, fingers curling through the still-damp waves. Dick stuck his hair under the bathroom sink’s faucet before putting his shirt on. He got water everywhere, but he needed to get the product out. He weirdly hopes Jason doesn’t feel any lingering stickiness, that his hair is soft to touch.

Jason’s face abruptly screws up in confusion as if he isn’t sure how he got here. Slowly, he retracts his hand and sits straight in his seat. Dick didn’t notice how open Jason’s body language was just a moment ago, but he notices how it closes. His knees no longer point towards Dick but to the windshield; his arms, once extended towards him, now fold across his chest. Dick stares at him for a moment, trying to piece together the puzzle he suspects they almost had.

Jason’s presence always has that mystifying effect on him, however, like he’s a monument to all the almosts they’ve been. When Jason was Robin, they were almost friends. When he was the Red Hood, they were almost enemies. Then they might have been brothers, could have been, maybe. There had been that night on the rooftop when Dick had managed to slip through Spyral’s many fingers — when Barbara had run away and Damian had embraced him and Tim demanded why, why — Jason had drawn blood as his voice broke because you don’t do that to your. Almost.

They are always on the verge of some new meaning.

“Well?” asks Jason. “Are you waiting for me to set up the GPS? You know the address, let’s go.”

Dick quickly recovers and begins edging out from his spot between two other parked cars on the street. “What are we, drag racing? Jeesh.” They avoid traffic for the drive over but do swing into a corner store once they’re in Gotham again. Jason buys the most expensive bouquet available while Dick fiddles with a rack of playing cards. Pokémon? Magic? Would Terry care about either of those games? He sees Jason head to the counter and grabs a random card pack to check out. His phone buzzes in his pocket just as he finishes counting off the dollar bills. He hands the cashier $16 and unlocks his phone. It’s from Bruce.

Any progress?

Dick begins typing out an answer when he remembers the boundaries he agreed on with Jason. He said he wouldn’t share any details with Bruce unless Jason okay’d it. He could let Jason know Bruce is asking, but even mentioning Bruce tends to sour him. Dick would rather get through this meeting with Terry Weind first. He makes a mental note to inform Jason later and give Bruce a non-answer if he says no.

Ten minutes later and they’re standing on narrow porch steps. The wooden planks are dark and splintery and covered in cigarette butts where an ash tray has been knocked down. Dick squats down and picks it up; ceramic, woodsy-green and leaf-shaped. He sets it atop the paint-chipped banister while Jason knocks on the door. The walls are thin enough that Dick can trace the sound of someone walking down the stairs. It’s summery outside today, the earth baked through by the sun, but he’s thinking of winters down here. Even with a good furnace, these walls must let the chill in.

A woman opens the door in her nightgown, one hand on the knob and the other on the frame. Her eyes are red and the skin beneath them sags. Her skin is almost ashen. She looks tired. She is tired, she’s exhausted, Dick can feel it when he looks at her. Her exhaustion is a heavy substance that spreads out and sinks into his flesh.

“Are you Terry’s mom?” Jason asks. He has the flowers already at his chest. His voice is stiff with emotion. Dick recalls his comment about Daniel reliving trauma and wonders if that’s what Jason is doing right now.

The woman nods and says that, yes, she is, but little changes in her expression. Dick had been expecting confusion, but she accepts the flowers without hesitation. Evidently, they are not remotely the first ones to share condolences. “My name’s Laura,” she says, touching the waxy petal of a calla lily. Her voice is soft and deep as if it’s been anchored to the bottom of the ocean.

“I’m Jason.”

“Dick,” Dick says after him.

Laura opens her mouth silently for a few seconds before carefully telling them, “I appreciate you boys coming here and wishing us well. It’s been hard, but we’re grateful to the community’s response, it’s been wonderful. I hope you don’t mind me not inviting you in, it’s just that I work grave and don’t get much sleep, and Terry’s resting.”

“We understand. But actually, we’re not just here to offer our sympathy — though you do have it, of course,” Dick conveys. He rushes the words of each clause so his speech comes out in quick, nervous chunks. He’s dipping head, taking up as little room as possible while moving closer to her. Jason takes a step back to accommodate him. He wants to represent himself as sincere, perhaps too sincere to the point of being clumsy. People often think inept and trustworthy are the same thing; the logic goes, you can’t be hiding any tricks up your sleeve if you’re more likely to spill them on the floor.

“If you turn us away, we get it, don’t worry,” assures Dick, “but this is our city and our kids are getting snatched.”

Laura begins shaking her head. “Oh, no, he’s not answering any questions — ”

“We won’t ask as many questions as the police,” Dick hurries to say. “We don’t need to. We,” here, Dick breaks off his speech and looks uncertainly at Jason, feigning hesitance. Then he takes a galvanizing breath, readying for his big leap, this information he’s sharing only with Laura. “I work part-time at the Park Row Memorial. I’m a guard, similar work to what I do with the Bludhaven Police. We have it monitored 24/7 so it doesn’t become a high-crime area again.” Dick sighs in frustration and bites his lips. “Laura,” he says firmly, staring into her eyes. Her pupils have dilated along his story. Good. “I saw Terry that night. The police haven’t even asked Park staff yet, they don’t care. But I saw it happen and I think I can do something about it.”

The best cover story is always based in reality. The best lies are true.

Laura’s eyes drop the ground as she thinks. She’s also biting her lip. Dick ponders over whether she does that often and Dick got lucky, or if she’s mirroring him. Either way, he’s won her over. She shuffles to the side and waves them in, her movements less languid than before.

She leads them to the stairwell and says, “If he doesn’t want to answer questions, he doesn’t have to. I’m not going to force him, you got it? Get what you can and hope it’s useful.” With this, she climbs the steps to the second floor, Jason and Dick following at an appropriate distance. They pause at the top step while she enters Terry’s room and explains in hushed tones his guests. She relates Dick’s reason for being here and then there’s a long pause before Dick detects a faint, “Sure.”

Dick and Jason share a look that confirms: they’re in. Laura places a light hand on Jason’s bicep and guides them to the door. “I’ll stand right here,” she says firmly and waves them forward. Dick looks around for a chair, sees none, and settles on the windowsill facing Terry’s bed. He’s faired better than the next two kids, all injuries considered. He was out of the hospital in a month. He lies in his twin-sized mattress beneath a crisp sheet, a blue comforter shoved to the foot of his bed. A square bandage covers his right cheek, there’s stitching over his right eyebrow, and there’s more stitches on the right side of his skull. His right arm and knee have been set in casts. Dick remembers him curling onto his side at one point in the video.

In the wake of the other victims’ hospital records (courtesy of Oracle), Terry’s assault had been carried out with perfunctory brutality. Dick recollects the scene but recalls no hesitation in the attacker’s swings, yet their violence has clearly increased. Perhaps they are doing someone else’s dirty work and the job has just now awakened a taste for pain in them. Or maybe it’s one guy after all and they’re adjusting to the role.

“So, you know the fucker who did this?” Terry speaks up first. His voice is a little rough and definitely fatigued. Despite his current infirmity, Dick can tell he’s a sturdy kid. He’s got the same build Jason had at that age, youthfully broad with natural muscle in the absence of training. A body with room to grow in.

Dick shrugs. “Not personally. But we hold out hope. What did his face look like? Any defining features?” he attempts, even knowing that Terry’s report claimed to make out nothing from the night of the attack.

Terry was looking at Jason beforehand, which Dick can’t blame him for. Jason takes up most of the room as he stands by Terry’s feet, stock straight with his massive arms folded. Dick has a habit of downsizing Jason in his head. In general, Dick’s guilty of subconsciously diminishing certain people’s threat levels, letting his familiarity with them obscure the danger they still pose. He does his best to put himself in Terry’s shoes and see what he might see; he accomplishes this by summoning the first night he encountered the Red Hood before he was also Jason Todd, fallen boy wonder. Even without the vigilante get-up, the man’s intimidating.

Now that Dick has asked a question, however, Terry’s eyes appraise him. Dick once again folds in on himself, tucking his arms closer to his sides and leaning back so he’s as out of Terry’s space as he can be. Then Terry’s eyes stray to the floor and he mumbles, “Looked like nothing. It was dark.” But he doesn’t say it like it was nothing.

“You saw something,” Dick contests. He’s not going to wheedle or coax, he decides, because that would just leave Terry room to equivocate. “You don’t know what you saw, but you saw something, and whatever that is will help us more than pretending there weren’t streetlamps.”

Terry grimaces. The twitch of his battered face reminds Dick of his age and his heart aches. There should be a grace period for children, an exception made for those still new to this earth. He hates that pain is one of the first things they learn. “He was white, I guess,” Terry supplies. His good fingers have found a loose thread on the hem of his pushed-down sheets. He picks at it. “He never said a word the whole time. It was quiet. He — I saw his hands. I thought, I thought the police would find his thumbprints or whatever, on me, but that’s not how it works, they said. They were all fucked up.”

“The hands or the police?” Jason interjects.

Terry doesn’t look up from his loose thread, but one half of his mouth pulls up into a faint, flickering smile. It manages to be bright even so. “The hands. There were old scars all over the knuckles. Dry, too, like he never heard of lotion.”

Dick supposes the attacker could work in manual labor, but it’s unlikely if there were truly that many scars and all old. “Just the knuckles?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

Dick guesses he’s experienced with combat. The ugly, close-up kind. Still, just the knuckles, that sounds more like punishment than accident. And the dry skin? That could easily be eczema, although wouldn’t a seasoned killer think to cover up, prevent skin follicles from falling into a lab tech’s hands? It is summer, but Gotham runs more humid than dry, so perhaps they’re dealing with a foreigner. “And the face?” he prompts.

Terry abruptly drops his hand from the nervous thread and sighs raggedly. “Nothing, man. I couldn’t see anything, okay, it was,” Terry falters, “confusing.”

“Confusing how?” Jason asks.

“I don’t know!” Terry’s voice pitches in frustration. “It was weird, all swirly and shit.”

Dick can hear the criticism leak into Jason’s tone when he curtly repeats, “Swirly.”

Terry backpedals. “I said I don’t know,” he mutters.

Swirly voices sound familiar to Dick. He used to have one for a time when he played James Bond for Spyral. “I think we might have a contact, Jay,” Dick muses.

“Really?” Jason says with noticeable surprise. “Swirly’s our big break?”

“Emphasis on the might and ixnay on the big.” To Terry, he says, “Tell me, does tsuchigumo ring any bells?”

Terry’s face scrunches up. “Does what huh?”

Dick will take that as a no. “Oh, well. Still worth looking into,” he says. Dick stands and retrieves the card pack from his plastic bag. He holds it up for Terry to see before setting it down on the bed. Terry takes it immediately and brings it up to his face for inspection. “Your mom has the flowers. I wasn’t sure what to get you, but let me know if you need or want anything. Oh.” Dick swivels his head around the room. There’s not much to it aside from a bed, a dresser, and a box T.V. collecting dust. “Do you have something I can write my number on?”

Jason chooses that moment to step forward, sliding between Dick and where Terry lies. He leans across, a crisp, laminated paper balanced between his index and middle finger. “Here’s my card. Let me know if you have any more information or if either of you need help,” he explains. Terry sets Dick’s gift down and gingerly accepts the card. He flips it over: no logo, just a phone number.

“That’s it?” says Terry. “What contact? Who did this?”

“It’s too soon to tell. I wish I had more to give you two,” Dick says sympathetically to Terry and Laura, the latter of whom hasn’t left her post by the door. She rests her cheek on the frame and watches on.

Terry has more questions though and he’s edging on excited. “Are you P.I.’s? Why do you even care? I bet you fucking did this, or one of your boys — ”

“I understand your distrust,” Dick says over him. He glances nervously at Laura to gauge what she thinks of the accusation and if she’s about to step in. She’s a little straighter, body no longer depending on the wall, but her face is still impassive if alert. Dick hurries to smooth this over. “You don’t know us well enough to understand why we care. We have to prove ourselves, I get that. And we will. Until then, you’ve got nothing to lose, right? All we know is you didn’t see anything.”

Terry stares at him silently, suspicion darkening his eyes. There is risk in coming here, of course, depending on how well Terry’s attacker can trace Jason’s footsteps. But Dick has already weighed the risks and he’s betting that Terry’s part is done here insofar as the criminal is concerned. Luckily, Terry can’t identify what he’s got to lose or how much he has told them between the lines, so the charges drop like that.

There’s a few beats of silence before Jason starts fidgeting. “Yea-a-a-h, we’re going to go now,” he announces, pointing over his shoulder towards the window. Dick could cringe, he’s so awkward.

“Thanks to both of you,” Dick says and smiles as warmly as he can. He trails closely behind Jason who shuffles towards the door, his body too tall and too broad to fit comfortably in the modest room. Unthinking, the pads of Dick’s fingers feather over Jason’s back as if to guide him forward. As Jason moves, Dick lets his fingers linger in the air, covering up the touch with empty space. He curls his fingers in and tucks them behind his back. Laura follows them out.

“Thank you again,” Dick says at the door. “We’ll be in touch if anything develops,” he promises. And he will be; if not as Dick then certainly as Nightwing.

Laura thanks them half-heartedly. Dick suddenly feels self-conscious about the Pokémon cards. He may as well have given them a box with nothing inside it or a flashlight without a bulb. He heads back to the car, feeling Laura’s heavy gaze on his shoulders the whole way.

Dick is buckling himself in when Jason opens the passenger door. “Mind sharing with the class what information was so decisive you had no further questions?” he asks as he climbs into the car.

“No questions Terry could answer. This is the best we can do for a lead,” Dick explains. He needs to make a call, but that will have to wait until they’re on the road and not idling outside a victim’s house. Maybe he can take them to a restaurant, buy Jason a drink, a friendly gesture. Would Jason want to drink with him though?

“Yeah, about that,” Jason says as the car shoots off, “what lead?”

Scratch the drink; neither of them are lightweights, but on principle, they shouldn’t drink during an ongoing investigation. Still, he could buy them some sub sandwiches. He used to buy food for Tim all the time back in the day, as a reprieve from the typical Batman and Robin style of accidentally fasting until the case is resolved.

They reach a redlight almost immediately. Dick drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “Spyral uses this tech called ‘Hypnos 2.0.’ They slide in kind of like contacts? They’re eye implants basically, but they transmit information between your brain and the brain of whoever’s looking at you. Their most common application was hiding your identity. If someone looked at you, they’d just see a scrambled mess instead of a face.”

Jason’s face scrunches up as he stares out the windshield. He scratches his head. “Scrambled like Picasso or.”

The light turns green. “More like a spiral,” Dick says lightly, nodding conversationally.

“Thematic,” Jason comments.

“Very. And the uniforms weren’t too shabby either.” He adds the joke more to test the waters than anything, gauge how delicate a topic Spyral is between them. Everyone in their family has a slightly different relationship with Dick’s double life. Bruce and Damian’s have been the easiest, marked by faint curiosity about his activities and begrudging acceptance of help from associated colleagues. The others have been noticeably more dodgy and uncomfortable regarding for Spyral. Dick’s stint as as Agent 37 has made everyone evasive, even for bats.

If Jason would normally have an emotional reaction to Spyral, he’s too preoccupied for one now. Dick can practically see the gears in his mind turning as his eyes narrow and his chin falls to rest on his hand. Dick feels simultaneously relief and shame; of course, Spyral is just a lead. Spyral may have been Dick’s life at one point, but to Jason, it’s just an organization. At best, contacting Spyral could save his life. At worst, well, Dick’s not expecting Jason to unpack whatever baggage Dick left in Gotham.

Dick resists the urge to grimace at his own thoughts. He’s overthinking. Can one overthink a ruthless spy agency that up until a year ago controlled his every movement?

Jason’s voice, slow and thick with the sound of a city that’s always been his, reels Dick back to shore. “Dare I ask what the uniform entailed?”

“Cargo pants,” Dick answers simply. He’s watching the road ahead, but he can hear Jason make a pleasantly surprised noise. They pass a fire hydrant painted to look like a sunflower. Dick thinks it’d be nice for Bludhaven to do that and makes a note to push the idea at city hall after the case.

“So, you think that this guy is from Spyral?” Jason asks.

Dick shrugs. “That, or he’s connected enough to snag some tech. We should check first with the other two victims, see if their descriptions match up with Terry’s. If they do, it’s probably Spyral and not some low-grade black market street vendor. Nine of out ten optometrists do not recommend mind control contact lenses.”

Jason slams his hand down on the middle compartment. “Mind control?” he exclaims. When Dick glances at him, Jason’s expression is mostly shock with a sliver of what might be plain rage. But that would be an overreaction considering all the other crimes Spyral is guilty of. All the crimes they’re guilty of, especially Red Hood, although making that argument would be more trouble than it’s worth.

Dick tries not to let Jason’s sheer judgment weigh on him. Dick has far more pressing guilt elsewhere to torture himself over. Still, it’s hard not to feel righteous rage on Jason’s behalf. He often forgets this part of Jason’s character, this abrupt sense of justice that powers him, but it’s no less prominent than it is in Bruce or himself. It might actually be stronger in Jason, a little left of center, but bleeding red nonetheless. Unfortunately, car safety dictates Dick not be on the receiving end of justice, so he replies as casually as possible, “Well, that’s what Hypnos is, essentially.”

“No way.” Jason points an accusatory finger that Dick sees from his peripheral. A street corner features a hot dog stand. Dick nearly pulls over, but the finger might kill whatever buzz a chili dog can offer. “Don’t ‘that’s-what-Hypnos-is-Jason- obviously ’ me. You just said it transmits info.”

Dick did not think his tone had come off condescending in the least. But if that’s what Jason got from it, then perhaps he missed casual and landed on dismissive. Bludhaven must be eroding his tact already. “Sorry. When I said it transmits information, I meant it as a blanket statement for everything it does. Hypnos can alter memories, which is more-or-less how the identity protection works, by modifying one’s memory of a face. It can send someone a location address or really anything you have stored in your own memory, which is helpful. It can also send orders.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s helpful, too,” Jason derides. He looks like he smelled something bad. Was Dick this perturbed by Hypnos when he first joined Spyral? He doesn’t think so. He had been so quickly embroiled in so many terrible things. What was a little crowd control in the face of cold, efficient, and constant murder?

The guns. The feel of one is his hand like death itself, how they loomed in his bedroom and among his gear, beckoning him closer to an edge everyone wanted to push him off of. The guns had overshadowed all else for him.

“Either way,” Dick carries on, “it’s unlikely this guy has his hands on Spyral tech without Spyral knowing something about him. They keep close enough watch over people that have nothing to do with them, let alone people that have access to their technology. He could be anywhere from an engineer to a passing contact, but he’s no ghost.”

“Terrific. Exactly what I need, a mind-controlling stalker from an quasi-omniscient spy organization hellbent running around on the streets of Gotham.”

Dick shrugs. “Gotham’s had it worse.”

“Have I?”

“I don’t know. Have you?” Dick retorts.

Jason scowls. “Wouldn’t be my first assassination attempt, I suppose,” he concedes.

Dick perks up and offers him a grin. “And it won’t be your last!” he crows.

Jason just stares at him, utterly perplexed. His brows are furrowed and his mouth is curled above his teeth in bewilderment.

“Because you’ll be alive,” Dick hurriedly explains. “You know, like, woohoo!” He takes one hand off the wheel to pump the air triumphantly.

“Woohoo,” Jason repeats hollowly. “Insanity.”

“What?” asks Dick. They will be coming up on the grinder shop soon. Should he suggest lunch to Jason or just drag him in? He’s leaning towards dragging. That seems more effective.

“That we’re all just living to hopefully get killed a day that’s not tomorrow,” Jason observes.

It’s not more cynical than funny, but something in Jason’s tone — the utter resignation, perhaps — makes Dick laugh anyway. “Everyone on earth’s on borrowed time, really,” he says, not unhappily. Death hasn’t frightened him since he was young. Exposure therapy, he called it once during some Titans mission that feels a lot farther in the past than it is. “The reckless and foolhardy like us, we’re just more aware of it.”

Jason blows air out from his nose in a mix between a snort and a laugh. “And here I thought vigilante-types were less aware of their own mortality.”

“Are you kidding? You have to know you’re walking towards death to find that exact path each night. Snatched purses, drug rings, elitist assassins dressed as owls, fear gas and escaped convicts and murderous clowns — and we run right towards them with open arms,” Dick says, irony guiding his grin as Jason smirks back at him.

“And open chest cavities, half the the time,” Jason tacks on.

Dick nods fervently. “Yes, let’s not forget that,” he tries to say seriously, but laughter trips him on the last word. “I don’t know. I think it’s all very sane, actually, to see what’s going on and get involved, do what you can to make everything a little bit better. But too much sanity can look like insanity, for sure.”

Jason does snort this time. “Keep moralizing like that and you’ll sound straight out of a conversation between the Joker and B.”

Dick wrinkles his nose. “Ew. I hope not.”

“‘We’re the same, you and I,’” Jason croons in a wispy, sing-song voice. “‘Sane and in-sane.’”

Dick can make out the small, white-background-red-letters sign of Hester’s Grinders a few yards down the road. There’s just enough room before the fire hydrant — this one plain, chipped red — to safely park. “Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll keep my philosophies to myself. And so long as we’re changing the subject — hungry?”

Previous Chapter

#jaydick #dickjay #dc #fanfiction for the void

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theawkwardterrier · 4 years

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2019 fic roundup

Buffyverse

The Words Beneath Our Words

MCU

Perfect Targets Beneath the Flap A Light in the Window These Bricks and Beams Carry With Us Though It's Called Dancing (to me it's romancing) things left behind and the things that are ahead

1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?:

I've had a policy over the past through years of not predicting (I’m so easily prone to getting weighed down by disappointment in myself), but I’ll say it was less than in the past (not an overwhelming number of individual fics, and not a lot of variation in genre) but in some ways a lot more (things left behind).

There is something a little different from other years, though, because in 2018 I had decided to stop writing. It seemed like a perfectly sensible time to do so: it had been just over ten years since I started writing fic regularly, just under ten since I started participating in IWRY marathon, I’d made friends and improved in my writing both through age and through practice, and I’d just finished my World Without Shrimp IWRY series and had no new projects brewing. I was starting to feel sort of old-married to my fandoms, the love still there but the passion somewhat fading. But it was also a move made bitterly, out of anger and sadness and frustration.

I know there are writers who will write regardless of the feedback they get. I know there are writers who don’t register the hits or kudos they get, those who don’t compare their stats to other writers, who keep themselves focused on themselves and their own work, thinking “I like my story - it’s good and writing it helped me to grow” rather than “I like my story, and more people should have too.” I think that type of writer is admirable. I’m not one of them. I don’t know that I ever can be. And, as I’ve mentioned in the past, I was really torn up that But A Walking Shadow didn’t get much of a reaction.

It’s strange - I love my own fic, but I truly don’t think I’m the most amazing writer or anything. And I certainly get wonderful feedback, including plenty on my other 2018 stories, many of which were very well received. But there was just something about what happened with that one story that really affected me. Maybe it was a sense of hopes dashed after a lot of effort, or, as I mentioned during last year’s roundup, a feeling that I had done everything “right” with it, and it didn’t result in a greater impact. Maybe it was the feeling that Woman Borne was somehow retroactively not as well-received as I thought it had been if people weren’t looking for a follow-up and weren’t as interested when it arrived. I felt as if I had spent a decade trying to become Something and had finally gotten close and it just wasn’t working. (I was also having a pretty hard year in general, and mental-healthwise, wasn’t in the best place.) Regardless of the reason, in the later part of 2018, I started wondering what would happen if I just...stopped?

Like I said, I thought it would be a fairly good time to do it, there were Reasons for it, but I was also having a supervillain moment of “if I’m not appreciated, I just won’t do it anymore, I’ll just tell myself stories and won’t write them or show them to anyone, so there.”

And then Endgame came out. And I wrote anyway. Obviously.

I’m not much better in my comparisons with others, and in some ways I’m worse, though I’m working on it. I know that it’s not logical or healthy, to have this endlessly gluttonous desire for recognition which might not even be possible to ever fulfill. (Like, realistically, what do I want? For every fic reader to be obsessed with my work? For the world to hail me as the next Shakespeare????) I am trying to manage my expectations and to focus on the positives of my accomplishments and place less stock in the reception. We’ll see how it goes.

Anyway, I don’t predict what I’ll write, or how much. At this point, who knows.

2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?:

As I said, in January, I was certain I would never write fic again, so I suppose it was all unpredictable. That said, everything stayed fairly status quo (Steve/Peggy, Buffy/Angel), though I guess my OCs - the whole cast of them! - were a surprise.

3. What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?

There’s usually one that jumps out, but from 2019, I was really proud of things left behind in a grand sense (length! characters!) and probably Beneath the Flap in a smaller sense (I’m always really excited when I can translate one universe into another - Attachments’s internet security officer/email monitor becoming a CA:TFA appropriate WWII military mail censor is pretty good).

4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Including so many OCs in things left behind, I think. Even though I did something similar before with Adrift, Ashore, it felt so, so nerve-wracking to include pieces like chapter 22, which is almost entirely Drea with cameos by Steve and Peggy and Tony and the Jarvises. Like, how much would people’s interest extend past the MCU characters they came to read about? (Luckily, apparently a fair amount.) One of the things I started to realize as I’ve written more and more of the story is that I do feel, I guess, ready to try writing new characters and building a world of my own in a way that I didn’t before.

5. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

This is not a prediction because I’ve already fulfilled it as of this writing, but: keep posting chapters of things left behind, mostly. I’d love to expand to a new fandom, but I’ve been in a real rut for the past few years; nothing’s really captured my interest in that certain way, and I’m sighing over the lack of a shiny hyperfixation.

As I’ve gained confidence in my own writing independent of an extant media universe (see above), it’s possible that I might try writing something non fanfic at some point in the future, but I don’t actually have an idea and the details of anything surrounding that are so hazy I don’t even think I could list it as a goal. (Also, a maximum of four people are allowed on the page at once, so that will put a damper on things).

6. From my past year of writing, what was…

Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe:

I think they all mostly got what they were due this time around (or more than their due; see below), though I would never say no to more feedback on new chapters of things left behind. There are people who comment on every chapter and I absolutely can never thank them enough for that, but it is a little dispiriting to watch the hits going up without even a note saying, “hey, this was great!” or “I can’t give kudos again but I liked this chapter.” Like I said, I’m trying to work past this sort of thing and I’m not going to stop writing because of it, but...it would still be nice...

Most Fun:

I think Perfect Targets. There’s a touch of awkwardness to it that I wasn’t really able to smooth out, but I like the tone of it, the seriousness balanced with humor/aggravation.

Most Disappointing:

It has got to be A Light in the Window. I reread my own fic possibly more than anyone else alive, and I can’t bear to even look at this one because I think it’s so clunky and weird. Like, the very very center is an interesting idea, but I can’t believe I wrote it considering the secondhand awkwardness that I experience when thinking about it. The feedback on it has been incredibly generous.

Most Sexy:

The scene in chapter 3 of things left behind where Peggy and Steve start getting hot and heavy at the carnival? Or maybe chapter 3 in general?

Hardest to Write:

I stopped writing chapter 28 of things left behind for around six solid months and I’m still not certain I got it 100% fixed up, so probably that.

Most Unintentionally Telling:

I'd love to be either a Buffy or an Angel in The Words Beneath Our Words, but sometimes I feel like my love language is ¯\(°_o)/¯. Good luck being in a relationship with me! (Just kidding - who would?! Rosa_Diaz_laughing_at_the_party.gif)

Choice Lines:

Usually I’m obsessed enough with my own work to list fourteen million, but this time the prospect legit exhausts me. Pick your own if you’d like, I guess?

#this is like a mental breakdown/ugly look into my ugly psyche disguised as a fic roundup #(I felt like I had to get it out but if you want to like me in the future maybe don't read it?)

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haiky-u-lously · 4 years

Text

Mimi’s Gift--Chapter 2

Summary:

It is said, that on your 25th birthday, one of your soulmate’s most embarrassing moments will appear to you in the form of a dream where you view as though being a fly on the wall. It is the night before your 25th birthday, and you are nervous because not everyone remembers the dream they have when they awaken. Will you?

Themes:

Fluff, Humor, Soulmate AU

Warnings:

Embarassement, Teasing between friends, Self-judging (reader judges themselves on how they think about others).

Word Count:

~7,300 words total

Enjoy!

-Admin Red

______________________________________________________________

While eating your breakfast, your mind focused on trying to figure out just how to bring up what happened in your dream to your friends, well at least what you remember from your notes. Holding the phone in one hand and rereading the simple phrases over and over again as your mouth blindly searched for the spoonful of cereal held in your other hand.

You were trying to think of details about the dog instead of the boy, hoping that a not so important detail might trigger something with deeper meaning, and felt the milk from the hovering silverware splash over your lap before you realized you had tipped the spoon so far.

Chiding yourself as you put the spoon back into the bowl. “Man, why’d I have to be this stupid. Today of all days too!” You grumbled as you went to change yet again.

Buttoning up your fresh jeans, you checked yourself out in the full body mirror hanging off the door to the master bathroom. Chuckling as you checked yourself out for good measure, “Well, at least all my effort into this look wasn’t wasted by having to change pants...That’s a plus!”

As soon as your uplifting comment was spoken out loud, you could hear your phone start buzzing from where you left it back in the kitchen. Racing to pick it up in time in case it was something important.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Y/N)!!!!” Yama yelled from his end of the line.

You cracked a smile in between huffs for air after your quick sprint. Taking a deep breath to calm down before responding properly, “Thanks Yama! I’m finally 25 hahahaha!”

“YES! Now you’ve joined the old people’s club officially. I am here to welcome you to long working hours and even shorter periods of fun for the foreseeable future.”

Face starting to hurt from the grin you’d been sporting since the call began, you teased right back, “Well then we just gotta make those short periods of fun even better than anyone’d expect.”

Both of you laughed for a few minutes after that.

“Well, now for the serious bit.” He sobered up quickly and got to his point, “Did you remember your dream last night?”

Thankful for your friend being the absolute best, and realizing you should not have worried about how to bring up the topic at all, you explained your situation. “So, I’m not as bad off as Hinata was, or how we thought Tsukki would be without his recording...But at the same time, I am not nearly as lucky as you and Kageyama. I recalled a few things. And...Well...Actually….uhhhh how do I put this?” You were dragging it out, you knew, but you couldn’t just say, ‘Well, hey, I don’t remember my soulmate at all but apparently you know him and were there so if I tell you what few details I do remember can you be an even better friend and put the pieces together for me? Thanks.’ Like, no. You can’t just use your friend for your own personal gain, how rude would that make you.

“(Y/N)!” He yelled to cut off your murmurs and mumblings, “just spit it out. Actually what?”

Taking yet another deep breath to calm down, and managing to take a seat back at the kitchen table, you visibly relaxed a smidge. “I don’t remember much, but I know you were there, and it looked like your old high school gym for the most part.”

“Wait! Your soulmate went to Karasuno?!” He sounded so excited, “(Y/N)! That’s awesome. Whatever you remember, tell me I can help you figure out who it is! I mean I was captain for a year. I should be able to tell you who was on our team no matter which year it was for.”

You really did want to ask him for help, but you also felt you’d just be using your friend. “I don’t think he was on your team. Sorry, Yama, thanks for the offer though.”

He seemed to think about that before responding. “Not on my team? Hmm, well depending on the team I may still know them. Come on. Hit me with the details. Stop dillydallying.”

“HAH!” Releasing a sound somewhere between a scream and a laugh, you quickly moved your free hand to clamp over your wide-open mouth. You had to shake your head a few times before you could answer his pushing, “Fine, fine! I didn’t want to make you help me cause I really don’t remember much and it’s not your job to figure out my soulmate for me. And I feel like I am just using you, but if you are going to throw around words like ‘dillydallying’ I may as well.” It really hadn’t taken much pressure from him to make you crack, you thought a moment about how to strengthen your resolve for next time before finally telling him what other little you knew about the dream. “I remember the most blindingly beautiful smile, a dog, chicken...as in like the food chicken, not the live animal chicken...that was probably obvious though. I mean, obviously, if I had meant a live chicken that would have been weird right? I mean--!”

“(Y/N). (Y/M/N). (Y/L/N)! Just tell me the rest already!”

“Oh right!” You stopped rambling yet again, “the only other thing I can remember past that is a red uniform.”

He went silent there.

You waited.

No comment.

Waited longer, checked to make sure the call was still connected.

No comment.

Checked again and saw he had been silent for 2 whole minutes, “Hello? Yama? You still there?”

“Are you kidding me?!!!!” He legit screamed so loud you dropped your phone out of shock. You could still hear him shouting while you reached to pick the device off the floor. “A red uniform, a dog, chicken, and a smile? That’s all you remember?!”

“Well, that and that most of it happened at your high school gymnasium and that you were there of course.” You corrected.

Despite not being able to see him, you could just hear the fed-up look on his face as he whisper-counted to 5 to calm himself down. A trick you learned he developed when he was captain of the team and had to deal with Hinata and Kageyama. “(Y/N). We didn’t play too many schools that had a red uniform. So I can pretty much guess what school your soulmate is from. But...And I mean this in the nicest way possible...IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME ANY ACTIONABLE DETAILS ABOUT THE PERSON THEMSELVES HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU AT ALL!????”

“And this is why I really didn’t want to bother you with it. I told you I didn’t remember much.” You tried to skirt your way out of trouble.

“You all are going to be the death of me.” He said as you imagined him rubbing his hand down his face. “Are you sure you don’t remember anything else? Like what was so embarrassing about that moment in their life that your dream was what it was? Nothing?”

Thinking about the dream some more, and remembering that Yamaguchi’s sport was volleyball you remembered an additional detail, your hand shot up with the pointer facing the ceiling, “WAIT! I did just remember something!”

“That’s great!” He exclaimed alongside you, “what’d you recall?”

“He got hit in the face with a volleyball.” You were so proud of yourself for remembering.

“He,” You could hear Yama repeating to himself, “he got hit in the face with a volleyball?”

“Yepp!” You were so proud of yourself, the pure joyous feeling would be shown to anyone who chanced upon you at that moment.

The audible sigh from the other end of the line of course made you backtrack your excitement.

“Is that not helpful?” You questioned, now not so happy with your development.

It wasn’t possible to imagine how he was physically reacting this time, but thankfully his silence was short-lived. “That depends on your answer to this question. Did he get hit from a serve or hit, or was the ball on his side when he got hit in the face?”

This brought your happy mood back right away because you actually could give full detail about it now that you remembered this part of the scene. “OH, his side, definitely. Because, and now that I remembered it happened I remember this whole bit of the scene. He was going to hit it and I guess something had been wrong because the ball flew in front of his arm before he’d even started really swinging and it hit him in the face and he fell onto his buttocks! Hahahahhah!” Your giggling continued as the images played out in your mind.

“OH!?” Yamaguchi yelled, reminding you you weren’t talking to yourself that time around. “I know exactly who it is then! Yes! I remember that whole day actually! Man, that was a bad day for him.” Yama also joined in laughing, though you knew it was because he remembered more than you. “It actually makes sense why you’d remember a dog and chicken now, yea hahaa.”

“Wait!” You interrupted him this time, “So if you remember the event and you know who it is, then you can just tell me, right?!” You were so hyped.

Waiting in anticipation.

Waiting for him to confirm your thoughts.

“Right, Yama?”

Waiting…

“Yama!?”

“Sorry, sorry, I am messaging about his whereabouts and to see if he is free today. I don’t have his number but Hinata does. So just be patient.” Apparently he put you on hold because you didn’t hear anything again.

Taking the time to rinse out your bowl from the now soggy cereal, you wondered what your soulmate was like. Thinking how great it was that he is already connected to your friend group. Washing out the bowl, you tried to generate his image in your mind, but you couldn’t see anything past red sportswear and a blinding grin.

“Okay, sorry about that.” Yama’s voice caught you off guard and you almost dropped the bowl, thankfully you got a better hold on it right in time to set in on the drying rack without incident. “Hello? (Y/N)?”

You respond with a yell since you were drying your hands off, “I’m here, just drying my hands. One second.” And legit one second later you held your phone once more. “So, what’s up?”

“Great, so he’s actually in town today! But doesn’t want me to share any details if you don’t remember anything hahaha.” You sulked at his teasing but listened with determined intent as he continued, “So basically it’ll be like a blind date for you for lunch. We decided 1, is that okay for you? I can also get him back and tell him you need to go later? But we have dinner at Kusa No le at 6, so you don’t want lunch to run too late. Hmm...”

“Yama, 1 is fine. Thank you so much for being such a great friend and helping me despite how difficult I can be.” You smiled as you said your piece, hoping he really understood how grateful you were.

“It’s what best friends are for. Now, I told him you’d wear red because you remembered that, but I also told him you’d wear a crown because it’s your birthday and you should get to be a royal sometimes.” He meant it as a tease, since you made him wear a crown on his 25th birthday as you took him on a scavenger hunt around Tokyo. But, you were so grateful you gave no mind against it.

“Sure, I have that tiara we stole from Kuroo still anyway. I can just wear that.”

It was nice talking with him about random things after that. Just being able to chill and enjoy your friendship was one of the things you’d learned to love the most since meeting Yama and Tsukki at university. You’d been super stressed, moving to a new area and not knowing anyone? Starting a new way of life away from friends and family and the support system you’d created for yourself up to that point? You’d been scared out of your mind. But that first day of classes, you happened to legit run into the nicest guy possible, who helped you up with a smile highlighting all his freckles as his friend asked after your well being. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship and you couldn’t believe how lucky you had been.

“Yama,” You accidentally interrupted his comments about some television show he’d been hooked on recently, “I just want to thank you for helping me back to my feet all those years ago at Uni. I don’t know what would have happened or where I’d be today without you, and Tsukki and even Hinata and Kageyama too. But none of these past few years would have happened if it wasn’t for how kind you were to me back then. I am very grateful for your friendship.”

He seemed to hum back before speaking, “Well it wouldn’t have happened at all had you been watching where you were going, as Tsukki likes to remind you.”

You laughed at his tease. And he joined in.

This is what a good friendship was. You knew it.

“I wonder if it’ll be anything like this with my soulmate?” You questioned yourself out loud while contemplating the outfit choices laying on your bed.

#haikyū!!#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuuwritersnet #hqwnsecretsummer #mimi-cee-hq #sō inuoka #inuoka x reader #haikyuu inuoka #soulmate au #secret summer gift exchange #gift chapter 2 #admin red

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frostygar · 4 years

Text

The Flash S5 Ep 1 Thoughts

- The intro being like Barry’s in the beginning, but with Nora’s voice-over? AMAZING. I’m just going to call her Nora Allen because… yeah… and XS is her name? Clearly she wasn’t named by Cisco because that’s… 😬😬😬

- However they casted Nora so, so well. She’s gorgeous and she does look like a mix of Barry and Iris. I just thank God that Barry and Iris are not actually blood related or else she’d look… not like that. Barry’s face when she tells him she was named after his mom, I’m SOFT 🥺🥺🥺

- Cisco coming to the rescue with humor to save the tension, just like she pointed out. Love to see it! But why would Caitlin not realize that if that’s Barry and Iris’ daughter, why WOULDN’T she know their names? C’mon, Caitlin is smart… although I guess it’s automatic for people to ask that so I’ll give it a pass.

- “And your name is XS…” “Clearly not my doing” wow I love being right lmao but it’s a nickname??? Because she always did things in excess? Isn’t that kind of rude because Iris called her that because she was always doing more, going over the top. Whatever, I may end up liking it I’m not sure so I’ll just continue watching.

- Ralph being Ralph and Wally low-key feeling insulted that he didn’t know about the legends, iconic as always. But what was better was Joe’s “oh fuck” face when he realized that Cecile still had her powers lmao that’s hilarious!

- Ooh the title card mixing Nora’s purple with Barry’s yellow/red? Now THAT is iconic!!! However… Iris DOES realize that the only reason their lightning is a certain color is because of their outfits, right??? Barry’s suit is red and yellow and her’s was purple. Lightning trails kind of mean nothing other than the fact that they’re a speedster…

- I know this being a bit bitchy but the fact that Iris called the idea of Nora Marty McFly-ing herself could ruin her own existence was Terminator 2 and not Back To The Future highlights the fact that Barry is a nerd and Iris isn’t and therefore, in that way, do not fit together (and yes my Snowbarry shipping ass does recognize that Caitlin probably would because she’s also a nerd but I’ll keep that out for my first thought-post)

- “I’ll be back… in a flash.” God Nora is the CUTEST thing! And her little giggle was so cjdsfhaskjfhskfa She’s so excited to meet her parents even though it’s dangerous I just love her okay

- Iris is a bit cute with meeting their daughter too. I love that she was like “I knew she was our daughter!” since Barry was skeptic, as he should because this is a superhero show and therefore do not trust anyone who comes into your life claiming to be something but Barry is also right that they need to get her back as quick as possible. I wish they’d been allowed some time to mull over what happened though because it’s been hours since everything went down last season.

- Can’t believe Wally is back (even though it’s probably just for a little bit) I’ve missed him so much and it’s just so surreal 🥺🥺🥺

- Even though I feel bad for Cisco about his breakup, instead of focusing on Iris being all cute and proud about her daughter, I was more focused on Caitlin waving her hand above Cisco’s face to check on him lol I love their friendship so much they’re really tight and I swear to GOD they better not ruin it

- FINALLY Barry is given his mundane job back! Technically it was supposed to be last episode but obviously shit hit the fan so… Still, I know that eventually Iris goes back to being a reporter but that separation, having different jobs is exactly what they need because being together all the damn time is very annoying and focuses so much on them. I’m still bitter that they made Iris the “leader” of team flash despite knowing nothing (but suddenly does because fan service) about the level of science they use every day, Iris really only knows how to be bossy and commanding

- Barry being all awkward and stuttering over calling Iris her mom I love it, so cute. Also, HE HAS HIS OWN SPACE AGAIN WE LOVE THAT FOR HIM.

- Nora being just as smart as Barry? We love to see it! Her also loving his favorite dessert? We love that too! Barry bonding with his future daughter? WE LOVE THAT EVEN IF IT’S DANGEROUS.

- I miss Barry having little quips when he’s out and about as the flash, like him connecting with the cops is so sweet.

- Nora if you’re going to show up where he’s going to battle another meta, don’t give away the fact that you’re there when you’re not supposed to be!

- FLASH MUSEUM. Isn’t there always a museum for superheroes in these kinds of things lol are they REALLY that surprised when they’ve made drinks and if I’m remembering correctly, a day for The Flash??

- “I’ve studied everything” hinting at the fact that she learned from the museum and not her parents, meaning something happens to one of them, probably Barry.

- Hungover Cisco is really… interesting. Sad we don’t get humorous Cisco because he’s mulling over a migraine but hey everyone has off days

- RALPH COMING IN TO SAVE THE HUMOR WITH THE “MANYVERSE” AWWW THIS POOR DUDE!!!!

- Why can’t we have this cute Iris who’s like her own person all the time? I mean the last few episodes of s4 were actually quite tolerable and I’m not sure how or why but please let this tolerable Iris stay PLEASE

- First of all, I love Schway, second of all, Iris being the mom who tries to be hip… we love to see it.

- Knowing that Nora never was around Barry because of something I’m not sure of (gotta love seeing spoilers lol) and Iris apparently treating her… not that great… and her hugging Barry before she leaves (which will probably fail) and not Iris hinting at that in the future just—ugh wonderful show

- Called it not working! I mean, how else is she supposed to stay in the show lol they wouldn’t introduce Nora for an ep and then let her go home, especially in 15 minutes

- This meaningful talk between Barry and Iris is really sweet. Like, normally Iris makes it all about herself but she’s actually helping Barry and recognizing that this is how he feels and she’s genuinely helping. It’s so weird, it’s like I stopped watching and now we’re in a parallel universe where Iris is actually good and it’s tripping me up

- Iris using schway with Barry that was very cute

- Barry realizing that he’s not a part of the picture in the future 🥺🥺 Poor Barry…

- Nora calling herself selfish a bad speedster sounds more like words that she heard growing up……. :(

- God I am LEGIT crying at her explaining this to Barry, apologizing to him, him realizing that he DID miss all of his daughter’s firsts. It takes a lot of emotion for me to cry, like, a LOT. This is such a raw, emotional moment and it’s so, so. good. This scene is just 😭😭😭 they are such great actors JESUS pull me by the throat why don’t you

- BARRY USING HARRY’S WORDS THAT HELPED HIM PHASE TO NORA DJFILSAHFKSFHSKAJFHFKHFUHFKDS Nora gets to learn from her dad like she’s always wanted and Barry is a proud dad and I’m just… I’M FULL OF EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW OKAY

- NORA INCIDENTALLY OUTING JOE’S RESTING PLACE LMAO

- First of all, Nora gushing over her uncle Wally… the cutest… second of all, Joe and Wally interactions I’m so soft 🥺🥺

- “Will you take care of him, XS?” “You got it, Kid Flash.” WELL THERE GO MY TEARS AGAIN THANKS

- Ralph and Cisco banter we love to see it.

- RALPH WAS HELPING CAITLIN WITH HER KILLER FROST PROBLEM AWWWW I heard people ship them and I can see why because they have a really sweet relationship of helping one another at their lowest and I just… my crying is now a sobbing

- The second they said her dad had been dead for awhile I immediately figured that he wasn’t but anyways… CAITLIN’S DAD IS ALIVE YAY! She can get answers 🥺😭

- Why would Barry need Iris’s permission to go to Happy Harbor to get ice cream??? He’s an adult lol

- Ugh the ending, finishing with her outro just like Barry’s in the first ep. Fantastic. Chef’s kiss. Amazing.

- So is there some meta-human-hunter now??? Welp… rip Gridlock...

#The Flash #Barry Allen #Caitlin Snow #Cisco Ramon #anti-iris west #anti-westallen #Nora Allen #Wally West

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tintinwrites · 5 years

Text

nothing can harm you | Poe Dameron x Reader | Part Two

A/N: You guys liked this! So yay! I had it in mind for so long, but wasn’t sure if people would enjoy it. But you do and thank you

Rating: T but maybe M for subject matter

Warning: Implications of abuse because reader spent probably all or most of her life being trained to be a slave, and those conditions are going to be strict and likely violent. She’s very restricted and quite timid. Legit her first instinct when in a bedroom is to give Poe a blowjob (she doesn’t) even though she probably has never given one before, but she’s been well-trained in how to do so. Naughty words.

Word count: 1,924, apparently!!

Summary: Poe’s figured out what to do with you, and he’s gonna try his hardest to do good by you. Even though you’re terrified of him. And he’s never actually been responsible for someone before. But he feels driven to show you the kindness and happiness you evidently never experienced before, because you need this and maybe some part of him that longs to make a real difference needs it, too.

Part One

GIF credit: No idea, but it’s not mine.

Tags: @writingwithadinosaur @labrujaprincess @that-girl-named-alex @thalia-prior-of-ravenclaw

"Poe, when I said to always keep an eye out for new recruits, this isn't what I meant."

He usually liked it when Leia's sense of humor came out, but with you cowering next to him, Poe wasn't all that into it at the moment. "What am I supposed to do now?"

She gave him an all too familiar look that told him that he never thought anything through and did things on the fly. It briefly changed to sympathy as she eyed your trembling form, then she looked at Poe again. "Get her some clothes," she said in a tone and with a look that made him think that should have been obvious.

It didn't take too much coaxing to get you to follow him out of the room, which was pretty nice.

When he'd landed at the base and told you it was time to get out, you launched out of his lap and onto the dashboard of his ship. He told you about four hundred times that you were okay and that no one was going to hurt you, before you reluctantly got out with him and walked with him to the command center.

Probably because you were scared he'd hurt you if you didn't.

He brought you down a corridor where a supply closet full of perfectly folded clothing sat, waiting to be needed by somebody. He took out a simple shirt and pants, and held them out for you to take. "So you can change in— what the—"

You immediately stripped off what little you already had on. Poe dropped the clothing in his haste to make himself as big as possible, to make sure that if anyone would come down the hallway, they wouldn't be able to see you.

Unless they came from the other end of the hall, in which case they wouldn't get too much of a view.

"What are you doing?" He kept his gaze on your face. All you did was stare at him, before picking the clothes up and pulling them on. "I was gonna say that you could change in your temporary quarters."

You stared at him. He gave up and guided you a few doors down, to a vacant room you could stay in until they got you set up.

Assuming you stayed, anyway.

You looked around the room, at the bed and then at him, and then you moved to your knees.

He wasn't sure what the hell was going on until you reached for his pants.

"Nope! No!" He grabbed onto your upper arms and hauled you back to your feet. You looked terrified and he felt like a dick, but he wasn't about to let you try to please him. "What did they do to you? Huh?"

You didn't answer him.

"Can you even talk?" He watched you bite your lip, before you nodded. "Did they hurt you when you tried to talk?" Another nod made him want to go to that planet and do things he would probably regret. "I'm not gonna hurt you for talking. I'm serious. Why don't you tell me your name? It's okay."

You seemed to be in a war with yourself for a long moment. "I don't have one," you finally spoke softly, flinching back in case there was any retaliation.

If his heart hadn't broken for you before, it definitely did now.

"Okay. You're okay. We'll figure something out." He ran a hand over his face, looking at you thoughtfully. "Why don't we get you a little to eat?"

Poe had to make the whole dining hall clear out just to get you to go in; you were overwhelmed and terrified by the bustle that he became used to. He let you pick out whatever table you wanted to sit at, which you did so tentatively before watching him as he gathered food for you.

Ever since he set the plate in front of you no more than two minutes before, he'd been staring in wonder as you devoured the food like he would take it away at any moment.

It occurred to him that since you were clearly well-groomed into being a slave, you probably barely got a thing to eat.

He wondered why the First Order couldn't just destroy planets like that, then berated himself for his cruelty.

Though they sure as shit deserved it.

They were probably aligned with the First Order, so it didn't matter anyway.

He watched you pause your feast to gulp down an entire cup of water, which he took to refill just in case those assholes deprived you of the life-sustaining liquid, too.

You were halfway done with your plate when he sat back down. "Don't eat too fast."

"I'm sorry." You stopped eating immediately, pushing your plate away and lowering your gaze to your lap. "I didn't mean to...upset you." Your words came out slow and clipped from apparently being hurt every time you tried to talk before.

"You didn't upset me," he spoke as gently as he could because he didn't want you to be afraid of him. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

The moment was ruined, though, and you made no move to start eating again. He was happy that he got some food in you, since it was probably more than you'd had in weeks.

He guessed he was going to have to lead the way until you came into your own. You would likely be all too happy to curl in a ball, and you had way too much potential for him to let you sit around in fear.

"So you're free now. What do you wanna do?" He watched as you blinked, then you gave a small shrug. "You didn't dream about doing anything other than what they made you do?"

"I was under the impression that other things weren't meant for me," you said, your voice getting progressively smaller as your explanation went on.

He smiled. "You can do anything you want now. What do you want?"

Absolute shame crossed your face and you looked as if you were about to cry. "I don't know what there is." You gave a soft whine that nearly turned into a sob, but you quickly stopped yourself.

"—we'll figure that out." He'd be lying if he said your fear and sadness weren't getting his emotions worked up. He grabbed your plate and ignored your flinch with a clenched jaw, moving to dispose of it.

"What is there...sir?"

He paused for a short moment. "You call me Poe."

Your quick correction of "Yes, Poe," had him realizing his tone.

"Fuck, I didn't mean to say it like that." He moved back to the table and sat down. "You and me...we're equals. I don't want you to call me anything but my name."

"I understand."

He watched you nod, then focused on the question you had asked him. "You want me to tell you what there is to do?" Another nod. "There's a lot you can do. We have a lot of technicians that would love to have you."

"Have me?"

"No, not like that! Have you around to train you, get you repairing some of our ships. Or I could teach you how to fly, maybe? We can always use more pilots." He watched you as you furrowed your brow in thought. "Or, uh...there's plenty you can do here, and a lot more you can do outside of the Resistance. We just gotta take care of the First Order so you can be safe out there. Let's make this easier. What can you do?" He could see the concentration that came into your eyes as you tried to think of all your skills.

"Cook. Clean. Garden. Fuck."

"—I'm sure we can find something for you." His voice was slightly low, holding back anger and sadness because you were a being with as much potential as anyone else, and the monsters on that planet took it away from you; you never even had a chance, from what he could tell based on how 'well-trained' you were.

He was going to make sure you had every opportunity you could dream of. If the only real good he ever did was give a terrified, abused girl the life she should have, before he would inevitably die at the hand of Kylo Ren or some random stormtrooper, that would be more than good enough for him.

Even if all he managed was to get you off that planet, and the hands of the First Order would get him on his next mission, that would be okay too, because at least someone more capable than him could send you off into a happy life.

But you experiencing such difference and him meeting Kylo Ren's lightsaber were far off, as you gave a yawn that you quickly tried to hide in shame.

He didn't reprimand you for it because he was smart enough to know it would take time to break the habits that were drilled into you.

"When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

"Not ever."

"Come on." He stood up and held out his hand, and lowered it when you cringed away out of instinct. "You can just walk beside me."

"I would like that."

He lead you to the corridor that held the base's temporary quarters, opening the door to the room he showed you before. "It's time for you to get to bed, sweetheart. The mattresses are firm and the sheets are like leaves, but you don't really mind when you're exhausted."

You looked into the room, then confusedly at Poe. "I just go in and go to sleep?"

"That's your room for right now. You can do anything you want in there." He nodded at the doorway encouragingly, and you carefully stepped inside of it.

"You've had a long day and a long...everything, actually. Try to get a little sleep."

"Yes, Poe." You turned to look at him.

He gave you a smile and reached up to close the door, letting his shoulders droop with a sigh once he was out of your view.

He wasn't sure if he preferred having no idea what the hell to do with you, or knowing he needed to show you what life had to offer beyond what you were aware of.

They were equally terrifying. On the one hand, he didn't like not knowing what to do, and on the other, it was a big responsibility to make sure another person was happy and taken care of.

He could handle it, though, and you didn't deserve to have him quit on you because he didn't want to deal with it.

He did want to deal with it and he did want to see you happy. He was kind of hoping the First Order wouldn't kill him so he could be sure everything was good for you.

Big responsibility or not, it would be worth it.

It would be worth it in the morning, after he got his own much needed sleep. After being on that terrible planet and then doing his best to tend to you, he was even more excited for his uncomfortable bed with his stiff sheets. There were no missions from General Organa, so he could spend the day focusing on warming you up to him and looking for normal jobs you might enjoy doing.

As he practically fell onto his bed, he really hoped you wouldn't be afraid of him in the morning.

#poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #star wars imagine #poe dameron fic

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seenashwrite · 5 years

Text

Don’s Rules

Category: One-shot, On-the-hunt, Humor, Behind-the-scenes Canon-Compliant Word Count: 3.9K Rating: Teen & Up Character(s): Dean, Don, couple OCs Warnings: Mild coarse language, show-level violence Author’s Note(s): You want it, you got it Overall Summary: As has been noted, it’s probably better if you don’t take a joint from a guy named Don.

As a general rule, Don didn't sell to anyone that wasn't a direct referral from one of his existing customers. After all, he wasn't some kid in college trying to make money on the side - well, he was making money on the side, but there was more at stake, more to lose if someone ran off at the mouth. He had a wife, and a suit-and-tie gig at the bank, neither of which would take kindly to knowing about the patch of land about a mile out from town where he practiced his art.

And it was art.

Don was a stickler, from the hand-mixed fertilizer to the fine imported papers he'd throw in if you bought in bulk. If you were really on his good side, he'd roll one for you, and it would burn evenly no matter how many times it got passed. But he didn't stick around after the deal was done, eat up all your snacks like the stereotypical douches he loathed. He didn't have a clue where any of his customers lived.

That was another rule: Don never came to you; you came to Don.

But now he found himself feeling charitable, completely against his nature, truth be told, yet it had been nagging at him, that kid - not an actual kid, anybody under 30 was a kid to Don. He'd seen the young man in town, though sparingly, and always exiting the drug store with armfuls of bandages, or at the grocery, bringing out bags of food and the occasional case of beer. He'd climb into the waiting muscle car, and one time Don had spotted the kid getting an earful from a man he assumed was the father, finger pointing, face red.

So while the location of their first real encounter surprised him - a dive bar on the county line where Don would stop after tending his crop, on his way back home - it didn't surprise him to find the kid perched on a stool, nursing a beer, a black eye on its way to surfacing. Don did note his knuckles were bashed to hell, hoped that meant he'd given as good as he got. Regardless, the sunk posture and thousand yard stare told the world he needed a break.

"Old man giving you trouble?" Don asked as he took a stool two down, not wanting to crowd.

The kid looked up, a slight frown on his face, and answered, "No. Why?"

Don shrugged. "Seen you two around." He made a motion, and the bartender came over, raised her eyebrows; Don nodded, then met the kid's eye again. "Looked to me like he's pretty tough on you."

If the kid was offended by Don's bluntness, he didn't show it, instead matching Don's shrug. "Nothing I can't handle." The statement was followed by a gulp of beer that might've indicated different.

"Oh I can tell that," Don replied, then extended his hand. "I'm Don."

As they shook, the kid said, "Dean." He noticed the dirt caked under Don's fingernails, then took in the overalls. "So what's your story? You a farmer?"

"Sort of," Don answered, then gave the bartender a wink when his whiskey was placed in front of him. He didn't offer any more explanation, and he wasn't asked for it. That alone made him like the kid immediately.

They sat in silence as Don sipped and Dean guzzled, but when the younger man was finished, he didn't reach for his wallet or move to stand. He simply stared at himself, rigid, unblinking, in the mirror behind the bar. He went from looking like fresh twenties to hard forties in one exhausted sigh.

"You wanna try something a little stronger?" Don asked, but before Dean could commit, he'd spoken to the bartender, who'd just come to retrieve the empty mug. "I'm about to need another, and set one up for him, too."

"Thanks," Dean said.

Don moved down a stool. "What's your story? I'm a good listener."

Another shrug. "I'm just stressed out."

Don waited. The drinks were brought. Sips were taken. Don kept waiting. Then finally Dean cleared his throat.

"I, uh... my dad, he's a... bounty hunter. We're only here so long as the job lasts. I help him."

Don nodded, but it was a crock of shit. The stress, he believed. But it wasn't a big town, he'd have heard if someone shady had been lurking. Most news they'd had in weeks was from a legit farmer, elderly man who'd been ranting about wolves trying to come and eat his heart. Don's wife was a nurse at the ER, said they'd kept him on a psych hold, but not much to do after that. He'd promised he'd swing by to check in on the nut. But he had some time to spare, given the worthy cause in front of him.

"Anyway, thanks."

"You already said," Don pointed out. "You're welcome."

They drank without any further conversation, but when the bottoms of the glasses were reached, Dean was no less tense, and Don scooted down one more stool, receiving some side-eye when he did.

"Listen, kid----"

"Dean."

"Right. I don't usually do this----"

"Uh, hey, man - you ain't my type."

Don grimaced. "I'm not--- I'm not hitting on you! Jesus!"

"Well what am I supposed to think when----"

"Look, I had a real sumbitch of a father, too. And I don't like the thought of you going back to whatever shit motel you're holed up at, walking into whatever else he's figured out to blame you for, especially when you're wound up like a tick about to pop."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "I don't get it."

Don leaned in closer. "If you want, we can step out back, and I'll roll you a joint."

"I've never tr---- I mean...." Dean paused briefly, then regrouped, backtracked. "It's not my thing. Besides, I only have enough cash for my beer."

Don considered this - a complete stranger who was also a novice who also had no money. More rules out the window. But rules were made to be broken. So Don stood, gave Dean's shoulder a clap, then pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket that made his new friend's eyes widen.

"Don't worry about it," Don said, and tossed several bills onto the counter. "Come on. You look like death. So live a little."

It started about a quarter way into the joint.

Don watched as Dean paced around the alley when he wasn't still enough to take a puff, telling stories that would've blown the hair back on every camper around a fire, some things that would send even the most stoic horror movie aficionado bolting from the theater, and when Don didn't react in an astonished enough manner - which, in his defense, he was just trying to keep up - that was when the insistent tone and rapid-fire babbling ratcheted up a notch, with some paranoia on top.

".....and could be anywhere, Don, I'm telling you. A-ny-where!" Dean lowered his voice to a whisper. "Even here, like, just around that corner!"

Dean had gestured wildly with the hand holding the joint, causing smoke to drift into Don's face, which he brushed away, his eyes tracking Dean as he returned to pacing, taking another puff as he went, now hell-and-gone from hesitation.

Through a hearty cough, Dean advised, "You gotta watch your back. I mean it. Do you carry a gun? A knife? Something? Anything?!"

Don held out his hand, and the joint was passed. "Chill out." Then he took his own advice, took a deep drag, exhaled slowly. "I keep a shotgun at my shack, by my little rose garden. And there's a piece in my glove box. Always got a pocket knife. And my lighter, but I'm not packing the real heat - what'd you say, salt? And silver? Iron? No-go, my man."

"I can make you some bullets. Well, no, I can't, not here - but I can give you some----" Dean reached around, pulled a pistol from his waistband where it had been hidden by his jacket "----if it's your caliber, I mean, what's in your car? Let's go see if----"

"Are you nuts?!" Don hissed, glancing around them. He ran a hand through his hair, closed his eyes for a moment, trying to not be pissed at how the kid seemed determined to ruin a much-needed high. "Will you just sit down? Let that kick in? It's my best stuff to date, brand new blend - no way you don't feel something. I mean, do you feel any better? At all?"

Dean sat. And he thought. And he stared at his hands. Then he stared at a dumpster. Then he stared at Don.

"Well?" Don prompted.

"I think I'm hungry," Dean said.

Don smiled at the sight of the glazed-over eyes. Finally. "If you're done with your tall tales, then what say we finish this joint, and I point you in the direction of the nearest burger joint?"

"Is it in walking distance?"

"You walked here?"

Dean nodded.

Don cursed under his breath - what kind of father let his son, he didn't care how old, wander around a town he wasn't from, carrying a gun, hardly any money, and with no transportation?

As if Dean read his mind, he pulled a phone out of his pocket. "I can call my----"

"The hell you will, put that away," Don told him, but gently.

Dean nodded again, did as he was told.

A few tokes later, and the joint was gone.

"All right," said Don. "Let's go get you fed." A pause, a bit of consideration. "And me, too."

They'd just climbed into the truck when the glove box - that is, Don's phone - began ringing, and he answered while pulling out of the bar parking lot, but not before rolling his eyes at how Dean had set into slowly... very slowly... replacing a few rounds in the glove box gun with some of his own, transferring them at snail speed, like he was performing a very delicate surgery.

"Y'ello," Don said.

"I have been calling you for hours!"

Don sighed. "Sorry, hon. Got caught up, picked up a stray."

"We're not taking in another dog," his wife said, "and speaking of dogs - have you not gone out to Wally's yet? Because he was expecting you, and now he's called me, frantic, talking about wolves again!"

"We don't have wolves out here," Don replied calmly, because he was calm, tips to toes. He could've been on fire and all he would've done was glance around for the closest pond, then done the backstroke, look up at the stars for awhile. He actually got lost in the thought, til he picked up on the fact that Dean had begun mumbling to himself.

"Knew we didn't get 'em all... knew it was a bigger pack, but does he listen? Nooooo...."

"Hon, lemme let you go, I'll head out there now," said Don, then exchanged goodbyes with his wife. After he tossed the phone onto the dash, he said to Dean, "What's that about a pack? You think you saw some wolves? Were you and your dad hunting for his bail-jumper or whatever in the woods?"

"Not actual wolves. Werewolves, Donny. Were-wol-llllllves," Dean replied, and instead of putting Don's gun back where he found it, he set it on the seat between them. Then he looked over with a smirk and half-mast eyes. "Let's roll."

"Roll... where?" Don asked, taking the opportunity presented by a stop sign to turn in his seat to face Dean. "I'm dropping you off at the diner, then I got to go run out to check on an old senile coot so I won't have to deal with my wife, and then I'm going to put my fat ass to bed."

"I'm going with you. It could be the straggler we missed." Dean pointed up. "Full moon tonight. They're tougher to deal with then."

“What do you mean ‘then’? I thought that was werewolves’ whole deal, the full moon.”

“Donny, I have a theory that they can change whenever they damn well want,” Dean said, looking a bit smug as he tapped the side of his head; but then his expression changed to one that was - if Don had to name it - forlorn. “But Dad never listens.”

"There are no such things as werewolves, you do know that, right?" Don asked, and in what he hoped was a careful tone - after all, a high, paranoid, armed, possibly crazy person was about a foot away. Though, if the kid didn’t kill him, his wife would, so the distance may've been a plus; aiming straight was not something Don would've bet his substantial savings on.

"What did he say?" Dean asked as reply.

"What did who say?"

"Whoever saw it. Did they say anything about hearts?"

"We talking cupids now?"

Dean made a face. "No. Cupids aren't real."

"Oh, forgive me, that was a stupid----"

"Werewolves will open up your chest and take your heart in ten seconds flat."

Don stared at Dean til a car pulled up behind them and honked their horn - and as he accelerated, he realized this was a no-win situation. "Fuck. Fine. You're coming with."

"Because you believe me?"

"No, because I guess I'm breaking all my rules tonight."

"What's the rule?"

"Never make decisions when I'm testing out a new blend."

"What're the other rules?"

"Does it matter?"

Dean leaned back and closed his eyes as response - but his gun remained clutched in his hand.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, but it was most decidedly broken upon arrival at the farm. The door was busted in, looked like the wood was practically shredded, and Don saw it from the driveway, before they'd even gotten out of the truck. He picked up his gun.

"Stay here, kid," he advised, but Dean reached for the handle - so Don planted his free hand against his chest, shoved him back. "I mean it."

"Ooooookay, jeez," Dean replied, rolling his still-glossy eyes.

Don had surveyed the yard as he walked, saw nothing amiss, and now on the porch, he slowly eased open what was left of the door. "Wally?" he called out.

Floorboards creaked from somewhere down the hall.

"Wally? It’s Don. You okay?" he tried again, making his way cautiously toward the bedroom at the end, the only closed door, glancing into the open rooms as he went.

It was dark, not a lamp on in the house, but the moon was so bright it was cutting through the windows and their ancient, threadbare curtains, which - once he became aware of how sticky his footsteps sounded - let him see the blood trail. Don instinctively reached to his pocket, for his phone, then mentally cursed himself when he realized he'd left it in the truck. And perhaps if he weren't still feeling a bit mellow - after all, the geezer probably went and cut himself while making dinner or some such, right? - he'd have high-tailed it out of there, called the cops. But he was, so he didn’t.

And he didn’t have his gun up when he turned the knob, nor when he opened the bedroom door, and he nearly dropped it at the sight of a quite dead Wally laid haphazardly across the bed, and Don knew he was dead - if it weren’t for the blood and the way his chest was opened up and his ribs pulled apart and the lack of a heart, the fact that said heart was lying on the floor would’ve tipped him off.

Don made the sign of the cross, and likely backwards, because he hadn’t been to church since he was a boy, and also because he wasn’t Catholic.

“Told you.”

Don jumped, turning, gun raised this time, and there was Dean, leaning casually against the door frame. Then Dean casually reached out and pushed on the barrel of the gun, and Don lowered it. And then, still casual, Dean’s eyes sluggishly cut over to the closed louvered doors across the room.

“We interrupted. Bet he’s in the closet,” Dean whispered, at least, in what he thought was a whisper.

“Huh?” Don whispered back.

“You wanna give it a try?”

“Huh?!” Don asked again.

Dean pointed at Don’s gun with his own. “Loaded you up with some silver.”

(Later, Don would swear that the man who came out of the closet just then was laughing. Don would also swear that his eyes were glowing and that his teeth were bared and that the rumbling growl that came from him was anything but human, but the cops chalked it up to Don being high - the chief was one of his best customers - and the murderer being on PCP or whatnot. Regardless, the rest of story of what happened was plausible, and that’s because it was what actually happened.)

Don turned when the closet doors slammed open, and barely had his gun raised by the time Dean had stepped forward and fired a shot.

All parties froze. Then the werewolf looked over his shoulder. The bullet had gone straight past him and into the wall.

Dean frowned, drew back the hammer, fired again.

Miss.

The werewolf stared. “Aren’t you one of the Winchesters?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said, defensive tone in check.

The werewolf glanced from Don, to Dean, to Don, then back again. His eyes narrowed as he studied Dean’s. He sniffed the air. “Are you... are you high?”

“No!” Dean exclaimed, but he took a step back, glancing around like he expected more werewolves to ooze out of the yellowed wallpaper.

“Oh, for... shit,” Don muttered.

The werewolf advanced a few steps. “And here I thought I was dead meat. Maybe if it was your daddy----”

Dean kept backing into the hallway, and Don backed toward the bed, accidentally knocking the heart under it with his boot, cringing at the sound of the organ smacking against a bedpost.

“Oh YEAH?!” Dean shouted, and fired off his last round, which - wrecked hand-eye coordination be damned - did manage to land in the werewolf’s upper arm.

“Nicely done, idiot,” the werewolf said with a sneer. “Not that it matters - what kind of hunter tries to shoot a wolf with regular bullets?”

Dean blanched as he realized he must’ve loaded all the silver into Don’s gun instead of just a few, then put the standard rounds - a lousy three - into his own. “Uh, hey, Don?” he said nervously.

“HEY, DON, WHAT?!” an irritated Don shouted back.

The werewolf snickered, still backing Dean down the hallway. “Thanks for bringing me the extra snacks, that other heart’s gonna be ice cold, and I was really looking forward to a hot meal.”

When Don looked down the hallway not a second later, the werewolf had leapt, sending the both of them into the den, Dean now pinned on the floor by the sofa, legs kicking, and just as Don saw a clawed hand raised, poised to rip Dean’s face off-----

POW!

Dean and the werewolf both gasped. The shot had gone through the werewolf’s hand. And they didn’t have to wait long for Don to have another go.

The werewolf actually howled when the next round hit his back, and while it wasn’t a through-and-through, it must’ve come close because blood was beginning to show on the right side of his shirt. But that didn’t matter. The werewolf now had his injured hand around Dean’s neck, raising the other in preparation to strike.

“Left, Don, LEFT! HEAAAART!” Dean managed to choke out - and then he let out a grunt as the werewolf collapsed onto him following what would be Don’s final shot.

While they waited on the cops, they poked around, and in the basement, Dean let out a low whistle and Don’s eyes got wide: the walls were covered in just about every weapon he could’ve imagined, and some he never would’ve.

Dean walked to the long worktable against the back wall, ran a fingertip across a bullet mold. “Your friend Wally is - was - a hunter.”

“Holy shit,” Don breathed out. He thumbed through a small journal as he stood at the other end of the table. Every page he turned made his head spin more and more. Sketches of fairy tale monsters. Notes covering the margins on abilities, weaknesses, appearance. He raised his eyes to Dean’s. “The hell, kid.”

“He was just too old to kick its ass. Guess it’ll happen to all of us eventually,” Dean said solemnly. “Hey, and, uh - speaking of kicking ass... thanks.”

“None needed, standard Thursday for me,” Don replied wryly. He took another look around the room. “I got no idea what they’re gonna say about all this.”

Dean reached out and took the journal from Don’s hands. “So long as we take this outta here, they’ll just think he was a crazy old man.”

The two men looked at each other in silence for several minutes before Don spoke.

“I’m never smoking again.”

“This wasn’t a hallucination. And I’m the one that’s never smoking again.”

They heard footsteps above them.

“Don?” called out a voice. “Don? Where are you?”

"We're down here, we're fine," Don called back. Then to Dean, he said, "Never say never, kid."

"Well, I'm never taking another joint from a guy named Don."

Don grinned. "Good rule. Now, let's go on and give our statements----"

"What should I----"

"Tell 'em the truth."

Dean let out a brief huff of a chuckle. "'The truth'," he repeated. "I guess I'm trying two new things tonight."

They parked down the road from the motel, and as Dean was just about to climb out, Don asked him a question.

"You got anybody to talk to? Anybody to... I dunno... share this burden with?"

Dean thought for a moment, then said, "My brother's got his own life, at college. He's probably happy."

"Probably?"

"We haven't talked in awhile."

"Figure out an excuse to call him, or go see him - don't take the joints, fine, but take advice from this guy named Don, huh?"

The corner of Dean's mouth turned up. "Yeah. Yeah, all right. I'll think about it. But, uh... we head out tomorrow."

"Where to?"

"Not sure. We got wind of something in California, and something else in New Orleans."

"Hope it isn't werewolves."

"Same. So are you okay covering with the police? One of their witnesses disappearing?"

Don waved him off. "I got it. You just take care of yourself, kid." A pause. "Dean."

Dean nodded. "You, too, Don."

Don waited til Dean entered the motel room that had the muscle car parked right in front of it. Then he dug in his work bag, pulled out some of his stash, more than ready to burn one - but as he was leaning back up, he noticed Dean had left Wally's journal in the floorboard. And as he leisurely drove toward home, he pondered on what all was out there going bump in the night.

It'd be a bitch, gathering the supplies and weapons, not to mention spending what would likely be some serious research time at the library. But he smiled. He'd just have to make room in the shack for more than fertilizer, and learn to balance his old hobby with his new one.

See Nash Write : Master / See Nash Write : Mobile

🏷️🏷️Wanna be tagged? Hit me up! 🏷️🏷️

Behold, the tagging of the Nashooligans.....

@butiaintgonnaloveem @impandagrl @waywardjoy @jalove-wecallhimdean @jame-sbarnes @just-another-busyfangirl @amanda-teaches @fanforfanatic @salt-n-burn-em-all @idreamofhazel @cyrilconnelly @rozadolphin @carryonmycobaltangel @ilsawasanacrobat @klaineaholic @helvonasche @ericaprice2008 @amionthetumbler @tankcupcakes @littlegreenplasticsoldier @emlostinwonderland @michellethetvaddict @theoriginalvicki @ellen-reincarnated1967 @copperseraphim @mrswhozeewhatsis @crowleylovesyou @bumbleball13 @becominglionhearted @raspberrymama @lastactiontricia @babypieandwhiskey @winchesterprincessbride @gripmetight-raisemefromperdition @roseblue373 @waterfeenix137 @thisismysecrethappyplace @fandomismyspirit @thedevilinthedetails @rainflowermoon @akshi8278 @deansenwackles @j-marvel-memester

#Supernatural Fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #Dean Winchester #Nash Writes #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

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