#lemon head geek bar

[razzofficiasite]

The Lemon Head Geek Bar: A Sweet and Refreshing Vaping Experience

In the ever-evolving world of disposable vapes, the Lemon Head Geek Bar stands out as one of the most exciting and refreshing options on the market. Known for its unique flavor profile, quality construction, and convenience, the Lemon Head Geek Bar has quickly become a favorite among vapers who crave a burst of citrusy goodness. This article takes an in-depth look at the Lemon Head Geek Bar, examining its features, flavor, performance, and overall appeal.

What is the Lemon Head Geek Bar?

The Lemon Head Geek Bar is a part of the Geek Bar disposable vape lineup, a popular brand recognized for producing high-quality, easy-to-use disposable vapes. Each Geek Bar is pre-filled with e-liquid, pre-charged, and designed for single-use, making it a convenient option for both beginners and experienced vapers alike.

The standout feature of the Lemon Head Geek Bar is its flavor. The name “Lemon Head” is a nod to the popular tangy, sour lemon candy, which is known for its intense citrus flavor with a perfect balance of sweet and sour notes. The vape delivers an authentic lemon candy taste that captures the essence of the classic treat, making it an ideal choice for those with a sweet tooth or a love for citrus flavors.

Flavor Profile: Tangy, Sweet, and Satisfying

The Lemon Head Geek Bar’s flavor profile is one of its main selling points. It perfectly replicates the bold and tangy taste of the beloved lemon candy, providing a burst of citrus flavor with each puff. The e-liquid delivers a zesty lemon taste with a balance of sweetness and tartness that makes it incredibly satisfying.

The flavor is not overly sweet or overpowering, and the sour notes are just the right level of intensity. For fans of fruity and candy-inspired flavors, the Lemon Head Geek Bar offers a delightful and refreshing vaping experience. It’s perfect for those who enjoy sweet flavors without being too sugary, or those who want a more complex and layered vape flavor.

Design and Build Quality

The Lemon Head Geek Bar is designed with convenience in mind. Like other Geek Bar disposables, it features a compact, sleek, and portable design, making it easy to carry around and use on the go. The device is lightweight and ergonomic, fitting comfortably in your hand for an easy and enjoyable vaping experience.

One of the appealing aspects of the Geek Bar is its draw-activated mechanism. There's no need to press buttons or fiddle with settings. Simply inhale, and the device activates automatically, making it incredibly user-friendly. The device also comes pre-filled with e-liquid and pre-charged, so there’s no need for refills or recharging. Once the e-liquid runs out, the device is disposed of, offering a hassle-free experience.

Performance and Nicotine Strength

Geek Bars are known for their consistent performance and smooth draw, and the Lemon Head Geek Bar is no exception. It delivers a smooth, flavorful vape with every puff, offering a satisfying throat hit that isn’t too harsh. The device uses a high-quality mesh coil, ensuring an even distribution of flavor and vapor, which helps to enhance the overall vaping experience.

Regarding nicotine strength, the Lemon Head Geek Bar typically comes in a variety of options, with nicotine strengths ranging from 20mg to 50mg of nicotine salt per pod, depending on your preferences. Nicotine salt provides a smoother throat hit compared to traditional freebase nicotine, making it a popular choice for those who want a stronger nicotine hit without the harshness.

For those who enjoy a stronger nicotine experience, the 50mg strength is a great choice, while 20mg offers a more moderate level of nicotine. The variety of nicotine options makes it easy for users to find the perfect balance for their needs.

Durability and Puff Count

While the Lemon Head Geek Bar is a disposable vape, it offers impressive longevity. Each device typically lasts for approximately 575 puffs, making it ideal for short-term use or when traveling. The number of puffs can vary depending on the frequency of use, but most vapers will find that the device lasts for a few days, providing ample time to enjoy the refreshing lemon candy flavor.

Given that disposable vapes like the Geek Bar are meant to be convenient and hassle-free, it’s worth noting that the device is designed for single use. Once the e-liquid runs out, the device is disposed of, so there’s no need to worry about refilling or cleaning.

Why Choose the Lemon Head Geek Bar?

The Lemon Head Geek Bar stands out as a top-tier disposable vape for several reasons:

Authentic Flavor: The tangy, sweet lemon candy flavor is refreshing, vibrant, and highly satisfying for fans of fruity and candy-based vapes.

Convenience: As a disposable device, the Lemon Head Geek Bar requires no setup, refilling, or charging. Simply vape and dispose of it when it's done.

Smooth Performance: The mesh coil technology ensures a smooth draw and consistent flavor throughout the device’s lifespan.

Variety of Nicotine Strengths: The availability of different nicotine strengths allows users to tailor their experience based on their preferences.

Compact Design: The sleek and portable design makes it easy to carry and use anywhere.

Hassle-Free Experience: The Lemon Head Geek Bar is pre-filled, pre-charged, and ready to use right out of the box.

Final Thoughts

The Lemon Head Geek Bar is a fantastic option for those seeking a disposable vape with an enjoyable, sweet, and tangy flavor. Its authentic lemon candy taste, combined with the simplicity and convenience of a disposable device, makes it a go-to choice for vapers who appreciate quality and flavor. Whether you're a seasoned vaper or someone new to the scene, the Lemon Head Geek Bar offers a refreshing and satisfying experience that's hard to beat.

If you're craving a zesty, flavorful vape that delivers a smooth hit and convenience, the Lemon Head Geek Bar should definitely be on your radar. Its combination of delicious flavor, solid performance, and ease of use makes it a standout in the world of disposable vapes.

[geekbar12]

lemon head geek bar

Get ready for a burst of zesty citrus with the Lemon Heads Geek Bar Pulse X Edition. This vibrant flavor delivers the tangy sweetness of classic lemon candy, bringing that perfect balance of tart and sweet to your vaping experience. Each puff feels like you’re enjoying the iconic sour zing of Lemon Heads, making it the ideal choice for those who love bold, citrusy flavors.

[tinyshyteacup]

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Tw: Cussing, Fluff, Angst, Tension, abduction, medical procedures.

Part 19

Words of Command - Part 20

The kitchen is bright and humming with low ambient noise. A small speaker tucked behind a fruit bowl plays an old Sam Cooke tune, low enough that you can hear the gentle sizzle of olive oil in the pan.

You’re standing at the counter, stirring a pan of vegetables, your sleeves pushed up.

Bucky enters quietly, like he always does—soft-footed despite the heavy boots. He doesn’t speak at first. He watches.

You don’t notice him right away, which means he gets a few seconds of just seeing you. You, completely at peace, humming softly along with the music.

The pan sizzles as you toss in fresh herbs, and the smell—lemon, garlic, thyme—spills into the air like memory.

He finally steps closer, enough that you feel the shift in the room.

You look over your shoulder and smile gently. “Hey, Bucky.”

He leans against the counter, metal hand tucked under his elbow, thumb grazing his jaw. “You always cook for everyone"

You hum softly in response but go back to stirring, but he doesn’t move away. In fact, he steps closer, eyes on your hands.

Then, he clears his throat. “Can I cook for you sometime?”

You blink, glancing back at him.

He’s still calm, but there’s a certain tension under the words—hope, uncertainty.

Before you can answer, Agent Collins strolls in holding a tablet and a half-eaten protein bar.

He immediately picks up on the atmosphere but—unsurprisingly—completely misreads it.

“Oh! You two playing house again?” he grins. “That’s adorable. Can I get you m-matching aprons?”

Bucky freezes.

It’s subtle—but unmistakable. His body goes from relaxed to alert in half a second.

The set of his jaw hardens, his blue eyes flicking toward Collins with restrained calculation.

Not danger.

Just control.

And irritation.

Your voice, soft but steady, cuts in before Bucky has a chance to say anything.

“Hey Collins, could you give us a minute, please?”

He blinks. “Oh—uh. Yeah. Sure. S-sorry.”

As he leaves, Bucky doesn’t watch him go. His attention is on you. Like he’s waiting for a signal.

You place the spoon down gently and turn to face him. Head tilted back slightly, that open expression Bucky always reacts to like it’s sunlight.

“You want to cook for me?” you ask with a warm smile.

He nods, serious now. “I been learning. Watching videos. I even asked Steve to help. Don’t laugh.”

“I’d never laugh, Bucky.”

He exhales slowly. “I figured… it might be a good way to say thanks. For everything. For… being patient with me. Letting me figure stuff out at my own pace.”

You wipe your hands on a dish towel, then reach up—very gently—and brush a thumb against his cheek. He closes his eyes for a beat. Doesn’t lean in, but doesn’t pull away either.

“I’d love that,” you whisper.

He opens his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He takes a deep breath, then reaches—delicately—and takes your hand in both of his.

He cradles it gently. Thumb grazing over your knuckles like they’re something fragile, precious. His touch is reverent.

“and I sort of want to—” he begins, eyes flicking up to meet yours.

He clears his throat again, like preparing for a speech, his brows twitch just once, then he bends—slowly, hesitantly as he lifts your hand—and presses the softest kiss to your knuckles.

It lingers, for just a moment. He draws in a breath as if memorizing the shape of your hand against his lips.

When he straightens, he doesn’t let go.

“I want to take care of you too, Doll.”

Your breath catches.

His voice is low and gravelled with emotion.

Not urgent.

Not needy.

Just true.

It’s a simple sentence, but it carries weight—guilt, tenderness, and something he hasn’t yet named for himself.

The golden hour light filters through the tall windows, warm and soft. The compound’s kitchen is quieter now—the after-dinner lull has settled in.

Dishes are drying on the rack, the radio has been switched off, and the only sound is the occasional hum of the fridge.

You’re at the counter, tying off the trash bag with practiced ease. Bucky’s nearby, drying his hands on a cloth towel. He hasn’t said much since the meal, though there’s a lingering softness in his eyes.

And a warmth in your chest.

You turn to lift the bag, but Bucky steps forward, hand out.

“I’ll take that,” he murmurs.

You tilt your head. “Its all good, I got it”

He hesitates for a moment, then chuckles under his breath, brushing his metal hand through his hair. "I'll come with you"

You chuckle almost to yourself "I think I can handle a trashcan Bucky"

“C'mon Doll, where you go I go right ?" He grins, using your line against you.

“Not this time" you giggle "I'll be right back.”

Bucky blinks, as if returning from somewhere distant. "Yea, right ... of course"

You thread your fingers through his flesh hand and give a quick squeeze. "Ten minutes tops"

As you walk away, you don’t see him watching you. You don’t see Collins slink further into the corridor. And Bucky—still standing in the low light, metal thumb brushing flesh where your skin had just been.

The elevator doors hiss open with a mechanical sigh. The hallway is colder here—dim lighting, exposed pipes trailing overhead, and the sharp antiseptic bite of a place too sterile for comfort. You step into the corridor, trash bag in hand, the soft shuffle of your slippers the only sound.

The bins are down a short corridor, but a faint scrape of a shoe against concrete freezes you mid-step.

"How was dinner?"

You turned to see Agent Collins leaning against a concrete pillar, his uniform slightly rumpled and askew as always.

"Collins. You scared me." You forced a smile, but something about his posture doesn't seem normal. "What are you doing down here?"

"Waiting for you." His smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Been waiting a long time, actually. Watching you with Barnes. Interesting development today—a date, is it?"

He straightens slowly. Too slowly.

Your eyes adjust.

Gone is the clumsy smile, the fumbled clipboard, the half-stammered apologies. He stands tall now—calm, deliberate.

There’s a glint in his eye that wasn’t there before. His tie is loosened, his posture firm.

Calculated.

He smiles.

But it’s not kind.

“Funny, isn’t it?” he says, voice like oil. “How easily people believe what they want to see.”

You freeze, trash bag still in hand. “What do you mean?”

He steps forward, hands folded behind his back like a lecture’s about to begin.

“I mean... all it took was a slouch, some bad posture, and a few jokes about coffee machines. And poof—I’m harmless. Endearing, even.”

He chuckles.

It’s empty.

Your heart begins to thrum. You set the trash down slowly, deliberately.

“You’ve been watching us ?,” you say quietly.

“Just you. You’re the key, sweetheart.”

He takes a step closer.

“That’s what you don’t realize. He doesn’t even realize it. You’re not just the Asset’s handler. You could break them in half with a whisper.”

Your lips part, but no words come.

“Thing is…” Collins continues, circling a little. “I don’t think you even know how much control you have. Affection? Tenderness ?” He scoffs. “Loyalty? That’s real control.”

The air feels too tight. The pipes overhead groan faintly, the shadows stretching unnaturally across the floor.

“And don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you... Not personally."

A chill ran down your spine. "I don't know what you're talking about," you said, your hand sliding into your pocket for your key card or your phone.

Collins chuckled. "Looking for this?" He held up your phone, then tossed it to the ground, crushing it under his boot. "Sloppy. Really sloppy."

You backed away slowly. "JARVIS," you called out, hoping the surveillance extended to the parking garage.

"Disabled on this level," Collins said, advancing toward you. "For about fifteen minutes. More than enough time."

You glanced toward the emergency stairwell. Maybe thirty feet away.

"Don't," he warned, but you were already running.

You made it fifteen feet before something sliced through the air and wrapped around your ankles. You slammed onto the concrete, pain exploding in your palms and chin.

"They always pick the hard way," Collins sighed, strolling toward you casually as you struggled with the bola wrapped around your legs.

You swung wildly as Collins approached, your fist connecting with nothing but air.

His laugh cut through you as he easily dodged your desperate attempts. "What exactly are you trying to do?"

"Get away from me," you gasp, scrambling backward.

"Adorable."

His first blow caught you across the face, snapping your head back and filling your mouth with blood.

You swung wildly again, a panicked flailing that Collins barely needed to block.

"This is just sad, you live with the Avengers ... can't even defend yourself" he said, not even breathing hard while you gasped for air. "But I suppose that's why you're perfect."

Perfect? The word made no sense through the haze of fear and pain.

You tried to crawl away, fingernails scraping against concrete. Collins planted a boot on your back, forcing you flat against the cold floor.

"Bucky, Tony ... the team ... they'll find me," you managed to say, tasting blood. "They'll come for you."

Collins pressed his boot harder, making it difficult to breathe. "They won't, and Barnes ... He's still the Asset—he just doesn't know it yet."

He leaned down. "And you're going to help us."

He flipped you over with his foot, and you saw the syringe in his hand.

"No—" you tried to scream, but his hand clamped over your mouth as the needle plunged into your neck.

"You should be honored," Collins whispered as your vision began to blur. "You're exactly what we've been looking for."

The last thing you saw was his face hovering above yours, his expression almost reverent.

"Hail Hydra," he whispered.

And then darkness.

Cold.

So cold.

Your eyelids felt like lead as you forced them open.

Harsh white light stabbed into your retinas.

Metal restraints bit into your wrists and ankles.

The antiseptic smell burned your nostrils.

Your stomach cramped painfully with hunger, a hollow ache, you must've been unconscious for far longer than just a few hours.

"...perfect candidate physically," a clinical voice was saying. "Psychological profile matches all parameters. Proximity to the Asset is an unexpected bonus."

"What about the previous failures?" Another voice—Collins, though not the Collins you where used to there was no stammer, no awkwardness this Collins was still cold, precise.

"Subjects One through Six all exhibited fatal cerebral hemorrhaging during the procedure," the clinical voice replied. "But those were older subjects with established neural pathways. This one's more... malleable."

"Recovery time?" Collins pressed.

"If she survives the procedure—which I believe she will—Asset 437 could be operational within 8 months."

"Too long," Collins said. "We need her ready before the Asset recovers fully."

"The chair is prepped and ready," a third voice interjected. "But Dr. Lindstrom wants to run baseline tests first."

"The chair worked on the Asset in less than 24 hours," Collins countered. "We know the technology is sound."

"The Asset required memory suppression only," the clinical voice replied. "For Asset 437, we need complete memory erasure followed by new implantation. More complex, more dangerous. The chair needs to be recalibrated."

A face appeared above you—a woman in a lab coat, cold eyes behind thick glasses.

She noticed your open eyes and smiled thinly to the other people in the room

"Subject is conscious," she announced, making a note on a tablet. "Beginning preliminary assessment for Asset 437 program."

You tried to speak, but your voice didn't come.

You tried to move, but the restraints held firm.

All you could do was lie there, a scream building inside you with nowhere to go.

Your stomach growled loudly—an oddly intense hunger gnawing at you considering you'd eaten just before leaving the tower.

The woman raised an eyebrow and noted something on her tablet.

"Subject exhibiting unusual metabolic response already. Estimated time since last meal, only 2-4 hours, yet showing signs of advanced hunger. Promising indication of compatibility with the initial dose of serum."

Through the glass wall of your cell, you could see more labs, more equipment. More people in white coats moving with purpose.

In the adjacent room, partially visible through a doorway, you glimpsed a nightmarish mechanical chair with restraints and a halo-like apparatus that hung ominously above it.

The floor beneath it was stained dark in places, despite obvious attempts to clean it.

And on a whiteboard across from your cell, written in red marker.

ASSET 437: STAGE ONE IN PROGRESS

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you finally understood what Collins had meant by "perfect."

They weren't going to use you to get to Bucky.

They were going to erase you completely and build something new from what remained.

----------------------------------------------------------

A/N: this concludes 'Words of Command' but there story continues in the next part, everyone who has been tagged in this will be tagged in the next part, a small warning it does get dark for a while, but it will have a positive ending.

[serikyl]

(strolls into fantasy tavern, accidentally hits the unfollow button instead of the ask button like a clumsy idiot, refollows with a very embarassed facial expression because I planned on being a lot more suave about this, leans on the bar counter)

So...I hear there's someone around here with kiddad's head canons?

*smacks hands against counter with a look of immeasurable glee* *pours you a colorful little drink of unknown content with a little umbrella in it* ((there is so much edible glitter involved))

I HAVE SO MANY!!!! : D

Okay okay so lets start with!!!!!!

My most favorite twins ever!!! Lark and Sparrow

I know a lot of people think they have long hair, to me, they both keep it very short now bc when Lark was like sixteen, a doodlerized something grabbed it and it messed with his paranoia, he and Sparrow shaved it together in the bathroom at like 3am, then Sparrow sat for his turn without a word, and now they always keep it matching like this

Lark and Sparrow have matching friendship bracelets that Sparrow made one year, Lark’s is green and Sparrow’s is red

The Oak Household used a talking stick for a long time, then Lark got mad one night and snapped it over his knee. He felt bad about it later, and the next morning it was found carefully glued back together

I don’t know if Lark has a day job, but if he does, nobody knows what it is, the other kiddads assume it’s something questionably legal, weapon sales probably, Lark always pays his portion of household bills and Sparrow isn’t sure he wants to know. The truth is, it’s a perfectly normal job, he’s a Geek Squad guy at Best Buy. Lark finds comfort in being able to sit in the back fixing things, he hates talking to customers. So. Much.

Sparrow is a cavetown fan, Lark secretly really likes beachy music like margaritaville but would die if anybody but Sparrow found out

Lark’s favorite fruit is lemons, Sparrow’s is strawberries. Lark can’t handle sweet flavors, he prefers sour, while Sparrow is the opposite.

Nick’s turn!!!!

So! During the Nick/Narc fusion, the magic couldn’t remove Glenn without unmaking Nick entirely, so it just added in Jodie. If you tested Nick’s DNA, which Glenn and Jodie did during an argument once bc they’re goofs, it would come back that Glenn and Jodie are both his bio dads, Morgan his bio mom. Because magic doesn’t give a shit about what our science says is impossible.

Nick has a Thing about vehicle safety, he doesn’t care if it’s an emergency or if it’s a five minute drive, everyone is putting on their goddamn seatbelts if he has to climb over and buckle them in himself. He also won’t drive in the rain.

Nick, in his Glenn memories, tried to dye a red streak in his hair and ended up a weird shade of orange bc he didn’t calculate for hair type. He wore a beanie for weeks until Glenn came home. After he finished laughing, Glenn had to help him fix it.

Demons burn so hot that Nick always feels a little chilly, even in the california heat. He’ll be wearing a jacket on an 85° day and people look at him weird, but the planet is so cold compared to Hell.

Nick’s favorite pizza is called “Everything Pizza”, it was something he’d make when he was struggling in the Glenn memories because it was easy. Everything Pizza changes every time you eat it, it also lead to Nick inventing what he calls “the Pizzarito” which is Everything Pizza folded up like a burrito. The other kiddads tell him it’s just a calzone, Nick hates calzones and insists it’s different. Pizzaritos have been banned from DADDIES HQ because somehow that argument always gets started.

Demons need a lot of both sugar and meat in their diets, and Nick now has an insane sweet tooth that would make most people lose their teeth

Oh! and! One of the things Nick struggles with post Nick/Narc fusion outside of the identity crises is how the demonic side of him has changed his body. Half of him feels like the sharp a few too many teeth and slightly pointed ears are features he’s had his entire life, and the other is kind of freaked out by how very Not Human he suddenly looks

Nick’s least favorite vegetable is asparagus, this is a trait he shares with Glenn. They both make the same face about it, wrinkled nose, tongue out

Terry Jr!!!!

I love Terry so much, I have a bunch for him!!! :’D

Terry is considered the de-facto leader of DADDIES, he is the only one levelheaded enough for the job I think. It’s not an official position, but he is pulling double duty as their leader and their tactician

This man lives on coffee, he is a 6 cups a day kind of guy. He started drinking it as a way to remember Terry Sr, who really loved coffee. He both loves the different kinds, as well as cannot function without it.

Whenever Terry has reached his limit he threatens to buy a boat and go live in the middle of the ocean where none of this is his problem and he will never have to see any of these people again. ((He has never gone through with this threat, it’s kind of his escape fantasy))

Terry and Grant have a minor long-standing feud about a drawer in HQ, it is Terry’s, it is a mess, it is organized in a system that only makes sense to Terry, there are so many sticky notes involved, it drives Grant’s OCD crazy, he wants to pick the lock on the drawer and reorganize it. Terry does not want it organized. Sparrow has enchanted the lock so Grant cannot pick it, keeping them locked in a stalemate.

Terry’s favorite food is blueberries, he can exclusively cook pasta dishes

Every so often, Terry has what I call a “Cones Of Dunshire” level breakdown where be throws himself into a deeply over complicated project like designing and building a board game

Terry and Lark have kissed exactly once, in a really weird game of chicken like that scene in friends where Phoebe and Chandler kiss. Terry is Phoebe, Lark is Chandler, Nick is Monica, Sparrow is either Joey or Ross, and Grant is Rachel in the scene, this is one of my favorite silly ones afsgshsjsjs

Grant’s turn!!!!

Grant and Terry dated in high school, it was a right person wrong time situation, and Grant has two soulmates: Terry and Marco

Grant developed OCD after the chimera incident, he likes to keep things clean and orderly because he can’t forget the feeling of the blood in his hair

Grant and Lark have semi-colon tattoos for each other, they’re bad for each other and tend to spiral down together, but they respect the battles. each other fights with mental illness, they claim to have a “warrior’s bond”

Grant’s favorite color is bright orange, I don’t know why, it’s a color I’ve associated with him since ep 1

[skullvaping]

GEEK BAR PULSE DISPOSABLE VAPE 15000 PUFFS: The Ultimate Vaping Experience

Elevate Your Vaping with Geek Bar Pulse

In the dynamic world of vaping, Geek Bar has consistently delivered devices that combine innovation with user-centric design. The Geek Bar Pulse Disposable Vape 15000 Puffs stands as a testament to this commitment, offering vapers a blend of performance, flavor, and convenience. This blog delves into the features of the Geek Bar Pulse and compares it with other notable models like the Geek Bar Pulse X, Geek Bar Pulse X Patriot Edition, Geek Bar Meloso MAX 9000, and Geek Bar B5000, and Geek Bar B5000.

Geek Bar Pulse Disposable Vape 15000 Puffs: Features and Benefits

Key Specifications:

Puff Count: Up to 15,000 puffs in Pulse Mode; 7,500 in Regular Mode.

E-Liquid Capacity: 16mL of pre-filled e-liquid.

Nicotine Strength: 5% (50mg) salt nicotine.

Battery: 650mAh rechargeable via USB Type-C.

Coil Type: Dual mesh coils for consistent flavor delivery.

Display: Full-screen smart LED for battery and e-liquid monitoring.

The Geek Bar Pulse is designed for vapers seeking longevity and flavor consistency. Its dual mesh coil system ensures each puff delivers rich flavor, while the smart LED display keeps users informed about battery life and e-liquid levels.

Comparing Geek Bar Models

1. Geek Bar Pulse X

Puff Count: Up to 25,000 puffs in Regular Mode; 15,000 in Pulse Mode.

E-Liquid Capacity: 18mL.

Battery: 700mAh rechargeable.

Features: 3D curved screen, dual mesh coils, VPU dual-core processor.

The Pulse X offers an extended puff count and advanced features like the VPU dual-core processor, enhancing performance and user experience.

2. Geek Bar Pulse X Patriot Edition

Design: Features classic American styles with red, white, and blue star patterns.

Puff Count: Same as Pulse X.

Unique Feature: First vape with a 3D curved screen.

This edition combines the advanced features of Pulse X with a patriotic design, appealing to users looking for both performance and style.

3. Geek Bar Meloso MAX 9000

Puff Count: Up to 9,000 puffs.

E-Liquid Capacity: 14mL.

Battery: 600mAh rechargeable.

Features: Dual mesh coils, adjustable airflow, LED indicators for battery and e-liquid levels.

The Meloso MAX 9000 focuses on delivering a smooth and flavorful experience, with features that allow users to customize their vaping sessions.

4. Geek Bar B5000

Puff Count: Up to 5,000 puffs.

E-Liquid Capacity: 14mL.

Battery: 650mAh rechargeable.

Features: Mesh coil, compact design, 30 unique flavor options.

The B5000 is ideal for users seeking a compact device without compromising on flavor variety and performance.

Flavor Options Across Models

Geek Bar offers a diverse range of flavors across its models, catering to various taste preferences:

Geek Bar Pulse: Miami Mint, Strawberry Banana, Tropical Rainbow Blast, Watermelon Ice, and more.

Geek Bar Pulse X: Blackberry Blueberry, Cool Mint, Raspberry Peach Lime, Sour Mango Pineapple.

Geek Bar Meloso MAX 9000: Fuji Melon Ice, Strawberry Watermelon, Tropical Rainbow Blast, Mexico Mango.

Geek Bar B5000: Offers 30 unique flavor options, including Blue Razz Ice, Lemon Heads, and Banana Taffy Freeze.

Conclusion: Choosing the Right Geek Bar for You

When selecting a disposable vape, consider factors like puff count, flavor variety, device features, and design.

For extended use and advanced features: Geek Bar Pulse X or Pulse X Patriot Edition.

For a balance between performance and portability: Geek Bar Pulse 15000.

For flavor customization and compact design: Geek Bar B5000.

Explore these options and more at Skull Vaping to find the perfect match for your vaping preferences.

[vapehk1]

The Ultimate Guide to the Geek Bar Pulse X Disposable Vape

The Geek Bar Pulse X is an innovative disposable vape that has revolutionized the vaping industry. This advanced device features a groundbreaking 3D curved LED screen, fast-charging capabilities, AI power adjustment, and a variety of delectable flavors. Designed for both new and experienced vapers, the Pulse X aims to provide a premium vaping experience with its impressive technology and design. Key Features of the Geek Bar Pulse X 3D Curved LED Screen The Pulse X stands out as the world's first disposable vape with a 3D curved LED screen. This screen not only enhances the aesthetic appeal of the device but also provides essential information such as battery life and e-liquid levels. The starry screen effect adds a unique visual experience, making each puff feel like a celestial journey. Light Up the Sky with Star UI The Star UI interface is designed to light up your vaping experience. The dots of light on the screen accompany you throughout your vaping session, providing a visually appealing and interactive experience. PULSE Power Super Boost The Pulse X offers two modes: regular and PULSE mode. In PULSE mode, the device delivers a more intense and explosive vaping experience. This mode significantly improves the taste duration, ensuring every puff is satisfying and flavorful. AI Power Adjustment With AI power adjustment, the Pulse X optimizes the balance between airflow and power. This intelligent feature allows users to enjoy a consistent and unparalleled vaping experience with easy one-click adjustments. Fast Charge Equipped with high-current quick charging technology, the Pulse X reaches 80% battery capacity in just 20 minutes. This ensures that your device is always ready for use, providing all-day power for uninterrupted vaping. High-Comfort, Bite-Friendly Mouthpiece The mouthpiece of the Pulse X is designed for comfort and durability. Made from moderately hard materials with a transparent shell design, it ensures a comfortable bite without compromising on style. Technical Specifications - E-liquid Capacity: 18ml - Nicotine Level: 5% (50mg) - Heating Element: Dual-Mesh Coils - Battery Capacity: 700mAh, Fast Charge - Charging: USB Type-C - Puffs per Device: - Regular Mode: 25,000 Puffs - Pulse Mode: 15,000 Puffs - Operation: Draw-Activated - Airflow: Adjustable - LED Screen: 3D Curved LED Screen - Indicators: Battery Life and E-Liquid Level Flavor Options The Geek Bar Pulse X offers a wide range of flavors, each designed to provide a unique and satisfying vaping experience: - Banana Taffy Freeze: A creamy blend of ripe bananas and chilly taffy, finished with a refreshing blast of menthol. - Blackberry B-Pop: The bold and juicy essence of freshly picked blackberries, perfectly balanced between sweet and tart. - Blue Rancher: Nostalgic blue raspberry hard candy flavor, delivering a burst of sweet and tangy goodness. - Blue Razz Ice: Fearless blue raspberry flavor with an icy finish, offering a refreshing vape experience. - Grapefruit Refresher: A vibrant mix of slightly bitter grapefruit and a dash of sweetness, providing a well-rounded citrus delight. - Miami Mint: A cool combination of menthol and sweet mint, perfect for hot summer days and cool nights. - Lime Berry Orange: A fusion of zesty lime, sweet berries, and bright orange, creating a tantalizing flavor experience. - Lemon Heads: Captures the zesty essence of fresh lemons, delivering a tart and refreshing sensation. - Orange Fcuking Fab: A bold citrus blast of sweet Navel oranges with a hint of sourness. - Raspberry Peach Lime: Juicy raspberries, succulent peaches, and tangy limes come together for a sweet and zesty flavor blast. - Sour Apple Ice: A sour green apple explosion with a chilled menthol shot, delivering an exhilarating vape. - Sour Fcuking Fab: Intense sour flavor balanced by sweet and fruity undertones, perfect for adventurous vapers. - Sour Mango Pineapple: Tangy mangoes and zesty pineapples with a sour twist, revitalizing your taste buds. - Strawberry B-Pop: Sweet strawberries with a hint of creamy goodness, making a smooth and satisfying vape. - Watermelon Ice: Juicy watermelon flavor with a cooling menthol finish, perfect for beating the summertime heat. User Experience and Reviews The Geek Bar Pulse X has received positive feedback for its advanced features and flavor options. Users appreciate the innovative 3D curved screen and the powerful PULSE mode, which enhances the overall vaping experience. The fast charging capability is also a significant advantage, ensuring the device is always ready for use. However, some users have reported issues with battery life and auto-firing, which can affect the overall experience. It's essential to handle the device with care and ensure it's charged properly to avoid these issues. Conclusion The Geek Bar Pulse X Disposable Vape is a game-changer in the vaping industry. With its advanced technology, diverse flavor options, and user-friendly design, it offers an unparalleled vaping experience. Whether you are a seasoned vaper or new to the scene, the Pulse X is designed to meet your needs and exceed your expectations. Embrace the future of vaping with the Geek Bar Pulse X and enjoy a stellar vaping journey. Read the full article

[ayekittyk4t]

shirley temples

Desc: A night in Las Vegas, a mysterious man. Stereotypical? Yes. Exciting? Without a doubt.

♱ Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x AFAB! Cocktail Waitress! Reader

♱ Content: Unestablished Relationship, Pining, Rough sex

♱ Content Warnings: Mentions of noncon touching (Not Toji), Petnames (Kid, Sweetheart, Princess, Babe, Darling), Vaginal Fingering, Oral (f! receiving), Mentions of Sadism, Unprotected sex, Size kink, Breeding kink, Clit stimulation, Nipple play

♱ Word Count: 4997

a/n toji canonly doesn’t like alcohol and gambles so i ran with it. also click here!

ao3 | wattpad

Shirley Temples. He’d order them all night long, asking for extra maraschino cherries on the side. Some days he’d ask for a cup of ice on the side or asked for ginger ale instead of lemon-lime soda, but not once did he change his order of a shirley temple with extra maraschino cherries that night.

He came in on a Wednesday, clad in a black t-shirt and matching pants. He smelt of cigarettes and musky hotel body wash, it was overwhelming - not in a terrible way, no, it was alluring if anything.

When he ordered, his voice was low - so, so low. Your ears felt hot when he spoke. You’d never been this nervous around a customer, why was it so different when your customer was a man you knew nothing about?

Maybe it was the scar above his lip, or how you could easily see how fit he was through his tight shirt. Or maybe it was his eyes, a captivating green that was effortlessly beautiful. A poisonous green that made your knees weak when he flickered his eyes to look at you.

You’d blame the heat outside for the sudden fire that set your body ablaze, but that’s an obvious lie because it was the stranger before you. It was him who made your palms sweaty. He made your stomach churn, he made your heart feel like it was banging against your chest.

What a pathetic little crush, you thought.

He’d come in everyday. You never served his table after that Wednesday though. You wished you did, because the envy you felt towards the other waitresses who were serving him Shirley Temple’s had been growing day by day.

Was it apparent enough for them to realize? No, of course not. Though, it was very apparent when your coworker caught you eyeing down another waitress as she giggled and placed her hand on his shoulder. You clinched your jaw at the sight of her whispering something in his ear, her red nails tapping against his broad shoulder.

Was it foolish to feel an ache in your chest from the scene before you? Probably - no, it definitely was foolish. It wasn’t like you could control it though, jealousy was a normal human emotion. It's a natural human instinct therefore it’s fine. It’s fine, right?

“You’re totally geeked for that old man.” Your coworker's voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

Geeked? You were probably more than geeked, though you denied any words bigger than ‘geeked’ to sliver into the back of your mind. You could think of hundreds of words that could describe what you had been feeling for the strange man. Words much bigger than ‘geeked’. Much, much bigger.

“What makes you think that?” You cocked your head, smiling at whatever she might say next. Maybe she’d throw the tiniest bit of shade at your adolescent crush, maybe tease you into talking to him? However, that didn’t happen. She only placed the beverages onto your tray and gave you a cheeky smile before shooing you off into the crowd.

The night went on like any other. Taking and writing orders, then rushing through crowds to hand the tickets and pick the orders up from the bar. Drunk men would flirt with you, ask for your number and occasionally attempt to slip money through your cleavage - you’d turn away before their shaky hands could even get close, but taking the time to snatch the bill fromtheir hand while plastering on a fake smile.

Tonight had been too busy for you to pass by the mysterious man's table let alone linger your eyes towards his direction. When you did it for the second time tonight, he’d already upped and left. You couldn’t help but feel a sudden surge of disappointment. It was childish, yes, you knew.

Before you knew it, your shift had come to an end, and to your luck, tonight’s rush was perfect because you were being sent home with nearly five-hundred dollars just in tip. You were giddy, literally skipping out of the locker room and into the surprisingly dead hallways of the hotel.

As odd the quietness had been, you paid no attention to it.

It was late though, doing a double take to look around you wasn’t a bad idea. If anything it was a great idea. So while taking a sip from your water you looked behind you, and no one was there. So you stood on your toes - lucky you for changing out into a pair of sneakers before leaving - trying to get a better view of what’s behind you, and like before, nothing. Not even a lost drunk who’d been separated from their friend group while clubbing was in sight.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of your neck stood high. Not from a breeze, no, from that feeling. A feeling of eyes boring into you. It may have been dramatic of you, but in that moment you felt what the victims of Medusa had felt just before meeting her gaze.

“Hey, kid.” . An intense wave of heat washed over your body when your eyes met. His eyes were green as a forest of evergreen trees, pulling you in to get lost and never find a way back. He pushed off the wall he was leaning against, making slow strides your way. Your palms were sweaty, the steel water bottle in your hands nearly fell from how wet they were.

Stupid fucking school girl crush.

What was it with this man that he had the capability to make you freeze in your steps? You came across plenty of handsome men and beautiful women everyday, but he was the one man that made you slip up. The one man that made you blush like a cartoon character, the one man that made your heart pound, the one man that made you unable to say a word.

Infatuated. That’s more than geeked. You were infatuated.

“Kid, snap out of it.” When he recited his nickname for you, you blinked owlishly and turned your head to avoid his gaze. He was about a meter away from you, and in height, he was looking down at you.

Your mouth opened, then closed. You didn’t know what to say. You felt so stupid, you probably looked stupid too. When an attempt of words slid off your tongue, they came out mixed and jumbled as if you were slipping some tequila shots while working.

No, you were just a nervous bitch.

“What? Cats got your tongue?” A smirk dangled on the corners of his lips as he hunched over to meet your eyes.

“Huh? N-no, I can speak.” You blurted out, your voice oddly higher than usual. His smile only grew at your obvious nervousness. From the way you avoided looking directly at him and instead looked over his shoulder or flashed your eyes to his for a mere second, and from the way you fidgeted with the sticker that was peeling on your water bottle.

The mysterious man licked his lips wet, canines slightly peeking from his lips, “There’s that pretty little voice of yours.” And that’s what got you to look up at him. Your face was hot, the blood in your veins was running to your cheeks, neck and ears. You wanted to shake your sweater off at that moment. It was just too hot.

“Don’t get nervous on me, Kid.”

“I’m not.” You mumbled lowly, brows bumping together into a scowl. At this point, you were forcing yourself to keep eye contact just to prove yourself. Your posture straight, chest and nose held high to put on a mask of confidence.

He scoffed at your change of attitude, you were like a small puppy barking up at doberman, “Yeah,” He began, “Look, Can you do me a favor?” He watched as you blinked a few times before nodding and telling him to go on, “I lost my wallet and I was wondering if you can spare me a twenty or something.”

You cocked your head to the side in confusion, a hum vibrated through your lips. Was he really asking you for money? It was so strange.

“I can buy you food.” You stated. You’ve had quite a few people come and ask you for money since you were a child, and your guardians have always told you to offer to buy food or any basic essentials instead. You stuck to this for years now, and this even applied to men like the one in front of you who probably just lost his money from gambling. You were scamming yourself, yes, but you couldn’t take down the opportunity.

With his lips stretching into a deep smile, “Well then, show me the way, darling.”

Once he started to turn away to walk down the hall, you forgot one important thing.

“Excuse me, Mister?” He stopped in his tracks as the sound of your nickname for him fell from your glossy lips. He turned to look over his shoulder, you were still standing in the same spot as before, but this time the hood of your jacket had fallen off your head and your sweater was slipping off your shoulder to expose your bare skin, “What’s your name.”

When he continued to walk, you had begun to believe you may have scared him off. He seemed like the type to tell if a young woman had a crush on him. Maybe this was his sign as a ‘never mind, I’ll just leave.’

“It’s Toji.” Finally, you wanted to say. After a week, you finally figured out this mans name, You no longer needed to label him as ‘the mysterious man’, “And yours?”

He continued to walk, you sped walked to meet his side and looked up at him. When you told him your name, he was quick to repeat it. God. Your name had never sounded so…so hot in someone’s mouth. Jeez, you began to feel like you were gonna explode when he began to repeat it, letting it roll off his tongue with a deep hum.

“It fits you, kid.”

—

Most restaurants had already been closed for hours. All places besides this diner you’ve gone to quite a few times for some food when you didn’t want microwaveable mac and cheese for dinner after along shift. It was quaint and the food wasgood, though, it’d also been the only closest place open.

“You gonna eat your food, kid?” Toji queried before drinking from the glass of water.

“Uh,” You had caught yourself staring at him before he could notice, pulling yourself out of a trance. You played with your plate of hash browns, your eyes flashing from his and back down to your food, “I’m not that hungry, you can have it if you want.”

He cocked his brow at your offer, shrugging his shoulders then pulling your plate towards himself to quickly take a bite of your food.

You’d calmed down a bit now. Your heart was no longer throbbing when he’d look at you with his mossy green orbs, it was more of a rush of goosebumps throughout your body and a flooding heat onto the apples of your cheeks. Others wouldn’t call in ‘calm’ but you labeled it as is.

The diner was empty. You two were the only customers at the moment and their employees were all in the back. It was quiet besides the sounds of the man before you eating and the low hum of music playing through an old boom box. To say the least, it was dead.

“I didn’t actually lose my wallet.” Toji blurted out, stacking your now empty plate onto his, “I gambled all my money and lost it all.” As you’d thought. Really, it wasn’t a surprise to you and you hadn’t even been angry about it. Though, what had been a surprise was that he confessed to it.

You chuckled before plucking the cherry at the top of your milkshake, “I knew.” Another girlish giggle fell from your lips as you wrapped your lips around the sweet fruit, taking the stem between your teeth and pulling.

“Really?”

“Mhm.” You chewed, sugary syrup gushing on your tongue.

He scoffed with a slight shake of his head. You smiled lightheartedly at his response, closing your eyes softly. Toji took the opportunity to take the cherry stem from your fingers.

“You know,” He twists the stem between his thick fingers, “I could be a really bad man.” Your breath hitched, not from what he said, no, from his movements, “Waiting for the perfect moment to set my trap out,” He laid the stem on his tongue, “Then…SNAP!” He smacked the table, startling you and freezing you into place, “You're a trapped little mouse.” He kept his fingers close to his mouth, his index and thumb slipping past his lips to pull something out, “What’re you gonna do now that you're in the hands of a big bad man?”

In front of you, he’d placed the cherry stem. It was tied.

You had believed you calmed down, but the thumping of your heart returned and this time it felt harsher, harder, more intense. You didn’t want him to see that he’d been able to shut down your confidence with a snap. You couldn’t.

“Well…” You began, adjusting your posture to put on a facade of false confidence, “Are you? A-and will you?”

His body stiffened. The response was expected, but something else was out of place. Perhaps it was your tone or your body language. Or both.

“I don’t mind if you're a dangerous man, Toji.” You stretched, yawning into your next sentence, “I also don’t mind if you aren’t, you’re you either way.”

Was this a confession? It seemed as is. In a way - or it’d simply plainly been - a subtle confession.

His pupils dilated. A strange feeling abrupt in him at the moment. Unexplainably, it was attraction.

“And if being dangerous is part of me, something I can’t take away?” Toji pointed out, relaxing into the booth.

A bright, lackluster smile broke into your face, “I already addressed this.” You crossed your legs, “You’re you either way, Mister.”

You watched as his body relaxed, eyes fixated on every single inch of you. From your glossy lips to you, legs. Bare and only cover with fishnets and shorts that barely covered your ass. It wasn’t just your physical appearance that intrigued. It was your personality, thinking, speaking. Your warmth.

It’d reminded him of someone.

—

You don’t know how you landed yourself inside his hotel bedroom. How you ended up on his bed, his hands on your hips, holding you still in place. Or how your lips had met, now dancing against each other so smooth and deliciously. You tongues meet each other before he finally pushes his past your lips.

It was hot. You’d been feeling hot all night, from the heat outdoors and the nervousness you’ve experienced from this man. Now, it was his body on top of yours. The lack of air in your lungs as he took every single breath away from you.

Wrapping your hand onto the back of his thick neck, you deepened the kiss. Your legs spreading and allowing him space to come close to you. He felt so nice on your lips. His lips were soft, and the smallest patch of rough skin from the scar above his lip rubbed against yours, still, soft.

He mumbled your name against your lips, peppering wet kisses onto your cheeks and down to your neck. You shuttered at the sound of your name on his tongue, throwing your head back into the fluffy pillow as he sunk his teeth into the tender skin on your neck.

“Let me undress you.” Toji whispered between gentle kisses around the mark he’d made just now. His lips ghosting over the valley of your breasts. You hummed in agreement, rolling your hips in his tight hold in anticipation. He rubbed gentle circles on your hips, thumbs smoothing over the loops of your shorts, and meeting at the button.

You whined, fingers running through tufts of black hair, back arched to gain the feeling of the warmth of his body on your back.

“Patience.” He squeezed your waist as a warning.

“I-I can't wait anymore, Toji.” You begged.

He’d been so gentle with you. Caring for your body as if you were an antique porcelain doll, thinking if he even thought about slipping up, you crack in his hands. Toji knew what he was capable of, and he could easily break you.

There was guilt in him, but the idea of you being so fragile that simple fuck up can harm you fed the sadist inside him. Slowly, it was consuming him whole. 

“Stay still or I’ll tie you up.” He hissed through gritted teeth, his face close and his breath fanning over your neck. He meant it. You didn’t need to be stubborn and ask stupid questions thatll only lead you into trouble. The feeling deep down in your tummy told you everything you needed to know.

When you were able to get a glimpse of his eyes, they were darkened with lust - no, something else. Frustration, was it? You did not know. It was too hard to decipher, because now you were laid out half nude in front of a man who you'd been crushing on for weeks - not knowing a thing about him but his name and the fact that he has a gambling addiction.

Everything had sounded so muffled since your damn heart had been beating so fucking loud, you were barely able to hear the groan that escaped his lips as looked at the sight before him. He leaned back for a moment, leaving remnants of his warmth of you as he captured the view of you sprawled out on wrinkled fluffy white bed sheets.

They’d be even more wrinkled by the end of your time together, he thought.

He was inhumanly quick. You weren’t able to comprehend what he was doing until you were flipped onto your tummy, head lost in thoughts of what’s to come and well, just how fast and handsome he was.

Score.

“These little skimpy fishnets of yours,” You wanted to whimper at how slow and sensual his fingers went through the diamonds of your fishnets, palms hot against your ass. He pulled at the stretchy black nylon before letting it slap back onto your damp skin. You jump slightly, ass shimmying in his grasp, “They’re really doing something to me, darling.”

It’d begun to be too hard to handle.You needed to be relieved, and you were only being teased. You hated it.

With all the strength of your hormonal body, you rested your palms flat onto the bed, gripping the sheets as you turn, scared of how the man behind you groping on the fat of your ass would look like.

“Toji,” You whined, “T-toji, please.” You looked like a puppy. Whiny, needy, untamed, messy, weak, fragile…

You turned him into a mad man.

A loud tear of fabric filled the room. Along with pathetic attempts to hide your whimpers, and Tojis heavy breathing. He tore through your fishnets, the thin fabric of your panties coming next to expose your glistening cunt to him.

It was dark, but you could tell by how hard your grip was on the sheets, your knuckles had turned a lighter shade.

“How fuckin’ cute.” He laughed, his finger brushing your dampened slit. A sweet moan slipped from you. His cock twitched in his pants. Jesus. The fuck was up with you?

He found satisfaction in your pleasure.

You gave up on holding your head up when Tojis ring finger slipped inside you, pulling out gently to stroke your neglected bud. His ring finger came back along with his middle to feel up your outer labia. He watched you twist underneath him while his free hand snaked around thigh, spreading them wider. It shocked him how easily his finger entered your cunt.

“Christ, Princess.” Something about his pet names for you made your stomach flip, head spin, thighs tense and twitch in his hold. Sure, he’d had his finger deep in your pussy and it played its part. But it was the pet names, the fucking pet names.

Toji lowered himself to get a better view at your drooling cunt. You were perfect below him. He just had to taste you.

When his breath fanned over your heat, you were at ease. Then his wet muscle licked a thick, long stripe across your hole. His grip on your body tightened when you wiggled to escape his arms. Not once did he think to let you go.

With his fingers still deep inside you, stroking your walls in the most perfect manner, he began to eat you out.

You’d never felt this way. Yes, you’ve had sex. Yes, you’ve orally been pleased. This was, without a doubt, the best you’ve ever felt sexually. Maybe even in general, and you couldn’t tell if it was an exaggeration or not.

He was messy, devouring you as if you’d been his last meal.

“Sweeter than the cherries, babe.” He rasped, voice deeper - sexier than usual. God, it was all too overwhelming.

You’d have quite a few euphoric orgasms. Whether it was from yourself or another person. It’d been different with Toji. You’d allowed yourself to let go, experiencing every incoming feeling grow with need. To your throat feeling as if it’d been closing in on itself and your vision growing hazy, everything.

“Toji.” You whined.

“I know.”

That was it.

You felt your orgasm explode at full throttle speed.

As soon as your juices spilled out of your throbbing cunt, Toji picked up every drop with his mouth, not letting a bit slip past his lips.

You were shaking, legs weak, mind foggy like morning in San Francisco.

With only his mouth and two thick fingers, he’d tired you out. You almost felt guilty for no longer having energy to return the favor to him.

He waited a moment for you to catch your breath before wrapping his big hands around your waist and flipping you onto your back. You were a sight. Hair disheveled and messy, hairline gleaming with sweat, lips plumped and red from your previous kisses and bites. The look in your eyes was even better. Pure fuckin’ eroticism.

“You good to go on, Sweetheart?” He asked, hands smoothing over your stomach, running close to the sides of your breasts.

“Yes, please.” His hands took your affirmation as a yes to skillfully unclip your bra. He watched as your breasts fell free from the stupid undergarment.

So pretty.

You listened as his clothes fell somewhere onto the bedroom floor, you were too lost in how beautiful the man in front of you was. You knew he’d been fit. Quite easily actually, from his previous tight shirts. Though, seeing his bare broad shoulders and hard pectorals as he lined his big - jesuswillitfit - aching cock with your wet and prepped cunt, made you lose it.

You sucked air between your teeth at the feeling of the fat head of his cock pushing into you, back arching and hands wrapping around his biceps, squeezing, nails sinking into the muscle.

His hands soothing ran up your thigh, slivering to your tummy, “I need you to relax for me. Can you do that for me, Princess?”

“Yes.” You haven't heard this many yes’s fall from your mouth in the longest time.

Toji took note of your body relaxing, you were almost falling limp into his grasp. It was as if you needed his command, and automatically, your body would listen. He pushed further in, capturing your gasp with his lips as he finally seathed the entirety of his cock into your little cunt.

It took some adjusting to his sheer size and girth. You felt full, stuffed perhaps.

“Go on.” You’d finally let a word other than yes roll off your tongue. He watched as you threw your head to the side, lifting your chest to expose your perky nipples, and rolling your hips to gain some friction.

Oh, now you were teasing?

His pace was slow at first, a simple inch out, inch in motion. Then his pace picking up, his head falling to your tit to engulf your nipple in his mouth. Your moans only encouraged him. They were sweet, pretty, melodic.

He became animalistic, and christ, how amazing it felt. The veins on his cock only accentuated your pleasure. His wet muscle on your tit, rubbing blissfully circles on your nipple made you cry out for more, more, more. His left hand pushing your waist into the mattress as he rammed into you, filling your body with his cock and filling your mind with memories of the night your experienced undeniably the best fuck of your life.

His right hand had been free until he believed he wanted to see you break. His thumb met with your stiffened clit, immediately causing you to jolt from the simple touch.

“F-fuuckin’ hell, Toji.”

You never knew you could become this vocal, you were being vocal. Vocal like the girls on Twitter when a man tapped their clit. Almost artificial, but it hadn’t been. It was all real. You didn’t expect your moans to become louder, spirited. That was until the top of his cock hit that spongy spot inside you. You were so shameless. How could you not be when you literally felt his dick in your throat as he fucked you hard and fast into the mattress while stimulating your clit and nipple.

His grunts made you so wet. So, so goddamn wet. His thrusts became even harsher, the sloppy noises of your soaked cunt fueling him, giving him everything single bit pleasure he needed.

He wanted to cum already, but he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t cum before watching you gush all over his cock. It was basically illegal for him to ever allow it.

You couldn’t tell how long it’s been. With all the pleasure was building up in the deepest pits of your stomach again, and threatening to release, you were bound to cum any second now.

“I can feel your cunt. You gonna cum aren’t you?”

All you could do was whine and fucking nod with your eyes rolling into the back of your head and lip quivering while he pulled weak, lewd moans from your mouth like a bimbo fucked dumb.

Maybe that’s what you were. A bimbo fucked dumb. That’s what you felt like. And if this is what it’d actually felt like, you honestly, truly didn’t mind being a bimbo fucked dumb and mute.

“C-cum,” You were holding back, “Inside.”

It’s stupid. You were no intellectual, but you had common sense. Asking a stranger to ejactulate inside you was probably the dumbest, stupidest, idiotic - thrilling, yes, it was so thrilling - thing you could ever say in the heat of the moment during sex.

“You want my kids? Hm?” He was no longer stimulating your clit and nipple. You’d poked the bear with your words. You poked him too much to the point he was pushing your thighs into your chest, thrusting harder, more erratic than ever.

You believed he could make you feel any better.

You were so wrong.

“Inside. Inside, Toji.”

You’ve completely lost it, he devoured every last bit of your sanity that was left of you.

“Shit, Toji.” Your second orgasm was so close. You could feel it everywhere. Your fingers tips hurt from reach and grasping bits it, so close. So close, you could taste it on your tongue.

“Cum, then I'll pump you full.” And you did. You came once he allowed you to. This time, you felt so warned out, you swore you would be mute. It was the opposite actually. Your moan was raspy and weak, still, loud. It’d just come naturally, really.

Toji wasn’t far behind, his cock twitching inside your as blood rushed throughout his body and into his dick. He nails dug into your thighs as he kept them in place. Keeping you still as if you’d now been his personal fucktoy instead of his precious antique doll.

You didn’t know then - because he’d never tell you - but you were still his doll.

His groan echoed beautifully in the room when you felt thick ropes shoot deep inside your cunt, painting every single inch of your insides white. He’d done exactly what you’d ask him to. You felt the warmth of his seed in you, completely filling you with it.

“I-isn’t that just what you wanted?” He winced, weakly thrusting his cock inside as you continued to shake below him, making sure not a drop of his hard work spills from your pretty little abused hole.

You were absolutely tired out. You wanted to tell him more. Keep going. I want all of you tonight. I want more. Please. You knew that it shouldn’t come out. If it did, he’d run away from you. You didn’t want that.

Toji watched your face as he slipped his cock out, your brows furrowed at your emptiness of him inside you, body jolting then relaxing quickly after. He couldn’t get over how beautiful you looked beneath him, he wanted to keep the memory forever. Your hair messy and tangled, skin slick with sweat and saliva. Your chest rose up and down, your face relaxed, lips falling open.

He’d keep the view below him in the back of his mind wherever he goes.

When your eyes shut, and you slowly fell into a deep, fucked out slumber, he watched you, and kept you close. Because he knew your time together would come to an end. He was able to fall asleep knowing this, you however, didn’t have the luxury to.

You learned that when you woke up alone. No remnants of Toji. Fishnets missing. Your were left with only his name.

[greyetienne]

Colour Legacy Challenge

This sims generation challenge is inspired by the ‘Not So Berry’ challenge. However, for this challenge I have created fifteen generations, one for each career type in my game.  I currently have the Seasons, Get together and City living expansion packs. I plan to expand this challenge in the future as I get more expansion packs which will come with more job options for the game.

______________________________________________________________

Basic Rules:

-Each heir must represent the color of the generation (i.e. hair, makeup, clothing), but brightly colored skin is not necessary (these aren’t actually berry Sims, that’s the joke). Of course, this is optional but a big portion of the fun.

-The colors of the spouses don’t matter as they aren’t part of the challenge. Unless otherwise stated you can do whatever you please with them.

-Money cheats can be used, but not excessively. Suggestion: use freerealestate for your first home, but no cheats afterward.

-You may live wherever you please unless something is specified in the rules of a generation.

-Every generation is supposed to complete both the career and aspiration of the heir unless explicitly stated otherwise.

-Photograph each legacy carrier and their partner as adults to be displayed as photographs on the walls of each new generations house.

-Keep the lifespan on normal.

______________________________________________________________

Generation One: Mint

You’re a mischievous astronaut that really loves the color mint. Your career is driven by your desire to meet exeter terrestrial aliens in order to harness their technology inorder to pull off crazy pranks on strangers. You love luxury and want the best for yourself and your family.

Trait: Vegetarian - Goofball - Childish

Aspiration: Chief of Mischief

Career: Astronaut

Rules:

-Master Scientist career and complete Chief of Mischief aspiration

-Master Rocket Science and Handiness skills

-Enter secret lot in Oasis Springs

-Must build a rocket and go to space

______________________________________________________________

Generation two: Green

You grew up in a chaotic and busy home with two working parents who were rerely home to take care of you. You turned to gardening and the outdoors as your solution where learnt the importance of caring for the earth and the nature around you. You even find a life long companion who shares the same love for gardening as you which inspires you to buy a farm.

Trait: Loves Outdoors - Romantic - Good

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Career: Gardener

Rules:

-Master Gardener career and complete Freelance Botanist aspiration

-Master Gardening and Logic skills

-Marry someone with a gardening skill

-Buy or create a farm

______________________________________________________________

Generation Three: Lemon

Growing up on a farm taught you how to be independent early in life. With your parents busy harvesting in the fields it was up to you to create the meals for when they returned home which led to your experimentation and experience in the kitchen. Although your final result dishes are extraordinary your cooking process always leaves you kitchen in a disaster.

Trait: Foodie - Glutton - Slob

Aspiration: Master Chef

Career: Culinary

Rules:

-Master Culinary Career and complete Master Chef aspiration

-Master Cooking and Gourmet Cooking skills

-Host a dinner party once a week

-Don’t have close relationships with family

-Have only one child

______________________________________________________________

Generation Four: Yellow

Growing up in a messy and chaotic house, you learnt to keep to yourself and stay out of your parents way. You found comfort being alone in your bedroom. For as long as you can remember you have always adored creating art. Even as a kid you used to paint pictures with the food left over on the plates from your parents extravagant dinner parties.

Trait: Creative - Clumsy - Loner

Aspiration: Painter Extraordinaire

Career: Artist

Rules:

-Master Artist career and complete Painter Extraordinaire aspiration

-Master Painting and Charisma skills

-Live alone and never got married

-Move house three times

______________________________________________________________

Generation Five: Orange

You are a freelancer who enjoys collecting and upscaling lost or discarded items. Your mother taught you to be creative and to make the most out of whatever you had. You love to dye your hair orange and wear fun and colorful clothes. You also dream of having a child that you can provide for and spoil in admiration.

Trait: Outgoing - Goofball - Family-Oriented

Aspiration: Curator

Career: None

Rules:

-Master the Curator aspiration

-Master Handiness and Fishing skills

-Enter Sylvan Glade in Willow Creek

-Get married to a sim with the ‘Good’ trait

-Have a close relationship with your child or children

______________________________________________________________

Generation Six: Peach

With help from your loving and supportive parents you were given the breavey to delve into the world of fashion. You love to express yourself with clothes and outfits as your parents taught you how to create anything you wanted from recycled materials. You stove to be a positive light in the world of fashion and leave your mark on history.

Trait: Self Assured - Cheerful - Ambitious

Aspiration: Leader of The Pack

Career: Style Influencer

Rules:

-Master Style influencer career and complete Leader of The Pack aspiration

-Master Painting, Charisma and Photography skills

-Get married to your highschool sweetheart 

-Move to the city as a young adult

-Have only one child

______________________________________________________________

Generation Seven: Red

You are a money obsessed politician who looks down on those less fortunate than yourself. Growing up with a world famous fashion designer parent you developed a superiority complex and vowed to stay wealthy no matter the cost. All you want in life is money and you refuse to spend a single simoleon on anyone other than yourself. You marry a younger pretty woman who clearly is only into you for the money but you dont care as she is the perfect trophy wife for your money empire.

Trait: Snob - Hot Headed - Materialistic

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy

Career: Politician

Rules:

-Master Politician career and complete Fabulously Wealthy aspiration

-Master Charisma and Piano skills

-Gat married to a pretty young adult as an adult

-Have multiple affairs with your wife

-Have three legitimate children

______________________________________________________________

Generation Eight: Pink

Growing up into a wealthy and snobbish family you learnt how to use power to your advantage by creating a huge social media following. Although you aren't a fan of the limelight you still make sure to stay in the public eye inorder to make your father proud. You love to party but find it hard to trust others as they may only be after you for your wealth and fame. 

Trait: Dance Machine - Noncommittal - Insider

Aspiration: Party Animal

Career: Social Media

Rules:

-Master Social Media career and complete Party Animal Aspiration

-Master Charisma, Gaming, Comedy and Dancing skills

-Gain 25 million followers on social media

-Skip highschool twice a week and go to a dancing bar

-Date multiple people but never get married

______________________________________________________________

Generation Nine: Plumb

You are a fun and outgoing goofball who loves to make people laugh. You were raised by an incredibly famous parent who helped boost your name in the entertainment world. However, you try not to associate with their fame as you want to grow your success on your own which leads you to move out early to explore the big city.

Trait: Childish - Goofball - Outgoing

Aspiration: Joke Star

Career: Entertainer

Rules:

-Master Entertainer career and complete Joke Star aspiration

-Master Comedy and Charisma skills

-Move to the city on your own as a teen

-Meet three people your age in the city and become best friends

-Start dating and move in with one of your friends as a young adult

-Go to karaoke with your friends once a week

-Have only one child

______________________________________________________________

Generation Ten: Purple

You're a quiet and calculated sim who always had an eye for perfection. You grew up with over loving parents who spoil you with gifts from all around the city. They often take you out to the best restaurants and hotels where you have acquired your passion and skills for critiquing. Although your parents spoiled you, their overprotective attitude drove you away where you found solitude in your vast collection of books.

Trait: Bookworm - Gloomy - Perfectionist

Aspiration: Renaissance sim

Career: Critic

Rules:

-Master Critic career and complete Renaissance Sim aspiration

-Master Painting, Writing and Music skills

-Get married to a sim with a ‘Geek’ personality trait

-Fill your house with books and bookshelves

-Avoid social interactions by staying at home

-Have five children

______________________________________________________________

Generation Eleven: Black

You’re the black sheep of your family and you were raised in a calm and quiet household. However, you’ve always wanted to cause mayhem, but you’re just really bad at being evil. You enjoy breaking into your neighbors’ houses and eating their food. You really love baking and spend the majority of your spare time eating sweets.

Trait: Kleptomaniac - Evil - Erratic

Aspiration: Public Enemy

Career: Criminal

Rules:

-Master Criminal career and complete Public Enemy Aspiration

-Master Mischief  Handiness and cooking skills

-Create a secret room in you house

-Get married to a work colleague 

-Steal peoples belongs at any opportunity

-Create and sell cupcakes during the weekends

______________________________________________________________

Generation Twelve: Navy

Your family's notorious name and power gave you a helping hand in your career andevers. Your family taught you that you must always be the best of the best and win at any cost which fueled your dream of owning the most extravagant house in town. You hate mostly everyone less fortunate than yourself but you fall in love with a street singer who strives to teach you how to be a better person.

Trait: Mean - Snob - Neat

Aspiration: Mansion Baron

Career: Business

Rules:

-Master Business career and complete Mansion Baron aspiration

-Master Charisma and Logic skills

-Must purchase the most expensive lot in a world

-Have no positive relationships with anyone except for spouse

-Get married to a street musician or singer

-Have only one child

______________________________________________________________

Generation Thirteen: Blue

You grew up in a large and luxurious mansion but you preferred to keep out your father's way as he was always too busy for you. However, you found joy in your mother who would slip DvDs or games under your door in hopes of getting through to you. Although you adored your mother for making the effort you preferred to be alone working on your computer and learning everything you can about technology.

Trait: Geek - Loner - Genius

Aspiration: Computer Wiz

Career: Tech Guru

Rules:

-Master Tech Guru career and complete Computer Wiz aspiration

-Master Programing, Video Gaming and Charisma skills

-Have no social interactions outside of online chat rooms

-Start dating penpal and eventually move in together

-Convert basement into a study where you spend all your time

-Have only one child

______________________________________________________________

Generation Fourteen: Grey

You are a confident and extroverted athlete who wants nothing more than to make it pro in the big leagues. Your parents were always on their computers when you were a kid which made you want nothing more than to go outside and do some sports. You found solace in a group of basketball friends who you spend every opportunity with. What you lack in brains you make up for in brawn however brawn does pass math exams so you find a tutor who can help. However, it seems like you may be developing feelings for them.

Trait: Active - Slob - Bro

Aspiration: Bodybuilder

Career: Athlete

Rules:

-Master Athlete career and complete Bodybuilder aspiration

-Master Fitness and Charisma Skills

-Have bad grades in school

-Spend most of your time away from home and hanging out with friends

-Date and get married to a sim with a ‘Bookworm’ aspiration

-Have a secret affair and eventually decide to become polygramous

-Go to the gym with friends once a week

______________________________________________________________

Generation Fifteen: White

You grew up in a comfortable and caring family. However, you moved out as a teen and found yourself living paycheck to paycheck as a barista. You long to write romance novels but are too afraid to quit your steady job to follow your dreams. You’re very practical and you know the chances of making it as a writer are slim, so you stay working at your nine to five. As an adult you finally decide to pursue your dreams. You’re a hopeless romantic, but your unflirty nature makes it nearly impossible to find love.

Trait: Perfectionist - Bookworm - Unflirty 

Aspiration: Best selling Author

Career: Barista - Writer

Rules:

-Master Writer career and complete Best Selling Author aspiration

-Master Writing and Logic and mixology skills

-Work as a barista during teens

-Pursue dreams of becoming a writer as a adult

-Go on at least 5 dates but never get married

-Invite all living family over for a diner party once a week

______________________________________________________________

[msjr0119]

The Greatest Show

A Million Dreams Reprise/ Come Alive

A new series- all chapters are based on each song from ‘The Greatest Showman’

Characters belong to Pixelberry except MC - Amber Smith-Beaumont

Warnings: Swearing, sarcasm 😉, smut

Tags - using combined tagged list, if you want to be removed please let me know 👍🏼

Catch up on the previous chapter here

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @beardedoafdonutwagon @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desiree-0816

******

Amber stood in the tent along with the other suitors, her mind was lost in thought- That would just be a waste- you’re too handsome. Regretting what she said, she had probably lost her only friend she had made here in the short amount of time. Overhearing Kiara gush about Drake to the other women, she felt jealous. Not knowing why- she had Brett even if he treat her like shit. As she explained to Maxwell she had made her bed and needed to lay in it.

“You and Drake have always been close, maybe he will understand that you are both supposed to be together once the social season is over.” Penelope explained softly to her best friend.

“Kiara you aren’t his type, get over it! What do you think Amber?” Olivia pulled Amber into the conversation.

“Sorry. What are you talking about?” Lying she knew exactly what they was discussing- instead she just chose not to get herself involved.

“What type of girl do you think Walker is in to?”

“How do I know? I’ve only just met him.”

“But you danced with him earlier on this morning.” Olivia stated stirring the pot- whilst Kiara gave Amber dagger eyes.

“I danced with Maxwell too, what���s that got to do with anything? I’m rusty with all this shit. I haven’t been here in a couple of years. And with Bertrand, he expects me to turn into a noble at the click of a finger- but no offence I don’t want to be like you guys.”

“You danced with Drake?” Kiara barely whimpered. Green with envy she wondered what the new girl had that she didn’t.

“Maxwell forced it. You know how persistent he is.”

“Stay away from Drake, he belongs to Kiara.” Penelope and Kiara stood in front of Amber, practically suffocating her.

“Even if he hates her? Okay then Lady Penelope. Whatever. Anyone else’s arse you want to suck up to? Because with me- you can kiss my ass instead! Excuse me ladies, I’m going to find my family before the next event.”

*****

Leo and Liam were still sat in the private tent, wondering if Drake had been kidnapped- usually he would go to the bar and return immediately. Focusing his gaze towards the suitors tent, Leo witnessed a commotion between the ladies.

“Oh shit! Kiara and Penelope look as if they are about to hit Amber. We need to get down there now! Where the fuck is Drake?” Liam averted his gaze towards the tent, hoping that Olivia wasn’t the instigator- another reason for his father to convince him that she isn’t suitable for the role of Queen.

“I don’t know. Liv is there. She will look after Amber... or maybe not. Where is she going?”

“I don’t know Liam. She will be okay won’t she?”

“She seems strong enough. Sensible enough to remove herself from the situation.”

“That mouth of hers will protect her.” Returning to their conversation, they both kept an eye on the tent - knowing if anything else was to elaborate they would spring into action resolving the situation.

*****

Not knowing where she was going she headed to a stable, just to save herself from knocking Kiara and Penelope straight out.

“Who the fuck does she think she is? That girl must have a millions dreams keeping her awake. Dreams about Drake. Penelope needs to butt out- she needs to get a hobby or something?” Noticing a horse neighing, she pat it’s nose- hoping to calm it down. The door slammed shut due to the breeze- scaring the horse and herself, deep down she was becoming panic stricken. Why do I always end up in the shit? Hearing a knock on the door, she hoped whoever was at the other side would help her escape. Should she run, should she stay frozen or should she scream for help?

“Amber move!”

“Drake?” Ignoring her, his main priority was to keep her safe from the horse. Drake calmed the horse down, before leading it back into a pen. Turning towards Amber, she provided him with a thankful look.

“What are you doing in here?”

“I could ask you the same? Your girlfriend and her Rottweiler hate me for some reason. Can’t you just get laid with her to get her off my back?”

“I assume the Rottweiler is Penelope?” She nodded. “I don’t need to get laid, I have two hands to use. I would never sleep with a noble. I don’t find them attractive- they are all snobs.”

“What’s your type then? They were all talking about it- I’m surprised your ears weren’t burning.” Oh great, I’m now court gossip between the ladies.

“What’s your type? If we are getting all personal?”

“Why have you avoided the question?”

“Why have you?”

“You avoided it first. My type is stood right in front of me if you must know.” Drake knew she was probably just flirting. Not knowing if he should do it back- could he do it back?

“Oh really? Maybe it’s just the whiskey talking? Come on let’s get you back to the Beaumont’s.” Grabbing his hand, she knew he was about to avoid her.

“Before we go. Thank you for saving me from being trampled. But I need some court gossip to get in with the crowd. What’s your type Drake?”

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

“I’d be a real low life to allow a girl to become trampled. I don’t have a type, but if I did....” Pausing he didn’t want to tell her the full truth- sure she said he was her type, but did she mean it?

“If you did?”

“What are you both doing here?” Liam asked interrupting their conversation. Leo eyeing the pair up was wondering what they had walked into.

“I needed to get away before I killed my ‘competition’. Drake saved me from being trampled by that horse. If the horse didn’t kill me, Bertrand most certainly would have done. I’ll leave you gentlemen to it.” Amber walked out of the stable with her head hung low, being here was confusing her. She had practically told Drake he was her type and he never reacted or elaborated to her response- instead insisted that they left the stable. After testing the waters, she was going forget about her premature feelings for the commoner.

“So? I thought you went to for some drinks? Where are the drinks? How did you both end up here?”

“She said something to me, I wanted to walk to the suitor tent to talk to her about it. I waited a while, and followed her here.”

“And? Do continue...”

“As she said, I saved her from the horse.”

“Nothing else happened?”

“She... she told me I was her type. I froze. I didn’t know how to react, so I suggested that we left.”

“So you do have feelings for her?”

“Liam, can you shut your brother up. Please!”

“No can do Drake. I can’t control his mouth.”

“What I don’t understand is why you’re stood here like a wet lemon? Go and talk to her.”

“There’s Nothing to say. But I do have something to tell you both. I’m going to go back to Texas for a bit.”

“What? Why? Is this because of Kiara? Or maybe Amber. Drake and Amber kissing in a tree....”

“Jesus Leo! Shut the fuck up!” Leaving the stable and the two brothers there- he didn’t want to express his true feelings to anyone, especially not motormouth Leo.

“Leo I have a plan, I’m going to kiss Amber- see how Drake reacts. I’ll inform Liv prior.” He whispered to his brother, who just smirked at him with a devilish grin.

*****

At the lawn party, Amber decided now was the time to become a actress- overhearing that the party wouldn’t too long she was already on the countdown. Allowing the other suitors to take the spotlight, Olivia noticed the change in personality.

“What’s up with you? Where’s the sarcasm?”

“I’ve just made a complete fool of myself, as usual.”

“Go on...”

“I don’t want to be here, I never wanted to come. Max and Bertrand keep trying to persuade me to stay. I became close to someone, someone I shouldn’t have. I’m different to you all. I don’t belong here. I’m a failure in life- I always fuck up one way or another.”

“I see it in your eyes. You believe that lie. That you need to hide your face. Afraid to step outside. So you lock the door. But don't you stay that way.... you can prove there’s more to you. You’re a Beaumont. Come alive. Enjoy your time here. By the way, fuck Walker.”

“There’s nothing more to me. But thanks. And who said I was referring to him?”

“You didn’t need to say anything, you blush every time his name is mentioned.”

“It’s warm outside that’s the reason why.”

“If you say so. Come on the Queen is waiting for us.” The two women walked over to the other suitors, who were greeted one by one by the Prince.

“So? Did she say anything?” Liam whispered as he kissed Olivia on the cheek. Watching Amber in a trance, he wondered what was on her mind.

“No need to say anything. She’s totally falling for him. They both seem as stubborn as each other. Stick to your plan. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Lady Amber.” Greeting him with a curtsy, he greeted her with a kiss on the hand.

“Your highness.”

“Would you care to join myself, step mother and Madeleine in a game of Croquet?”

“If you insist. You do know Croquet is kind of the Beaumont’s thing? We whip everyone’s arses.” Laughing, Liam was fully aware that one of the Beaumont’s specialities was Croquet. Whilst playing, he updated her about Madeleine- explaining every detail.

“She sounds like a nightmare.”

“Oh she definitely is that.” Liam shuddered- Regina announced that Liam and Amber had won. The prince focused his gaze onto his best friend and his brother, Leo winked. As Liam became closer to Amber, he cupped her cheeks and forced a kiss onto her lips. Breaking apart, he noticed Drake leave immediately, as did Amber.

“Why would you do that? You could have least asked- and then I would have told you to shove that Croquet mallet up your ass if you must know.”

“I’m sorry Lady Amber, it was the heat of the moment. Please forgive me.”

“Forget it, I’m going to go back to my room if I’m allowed to?”

“Of course you are.” Drake will have gone back- I assume anyway. “I’ll have my guard, Bastien escort you back. I’ll inform the Beaumont’s for you.”

“Thank you.”

*****

Arriving back inside the palace, she walked along the quiet hallways- noticing the door two doors away from her room open slightly ajar, she decided to knock.

“Hey, I didn’t know we were neighbours? Are... are you going somewhere?” Noticing the suitcase and screwed up clothes on the bed- she couldn’t pin point where he was going.

“I... Erm.... I’m going back to Texas for a bit. Liam doesn’t need me here at this moment in time.”

“You’re actually leaving? Who am I going to drink whiskey with? Do you need a woman’s touch? Because your clothes are going to have more wrinkles on them than my gran used to.”

“Don’t worry, I know I owe you a bottle- there’s a secret stash in the wardrobe.”

“How about we open it now? I’ll help you pack?” Please don’t leave me. Drake nodded, watching her fold his clothes neatly- he couldn’t take it anymore. Placing his hand near the suitcase, their hands brushed each others and lingered for a few seconds.

“Why did you leave the lawn party?”

“I’ve got a flight to catch.”

“So why not just leave after the derby if you’re in such a rush?”

“I... I ... just needed to witness whoever Liam chose to play with him beat Madeleine and wipe that smirk off her face.”

“Now I know you’re lying because no one knew she was going to be there or even be a suitor. Liam told me whilst we were playing. What’s the real reason? Have I upset you or something? Has Kiara upset you?”

“You’d never upset me. Why would you think that? It isn’t Kiara either.” Sighing she sat on the bed, with the whiskey.

“Okay. You don’t have to tell me. Thank you for being so kind to me whilst I’ve been here. It’s going to be shit without you. Do you think I could sneak out and just hide somewhere for the rest of the social season?”

“You could try but Bertrand would hunt you down. I’m only nice with people who I like. Take it as a compliment.” Smiling at him, she stood up and rinsed the tumbler she had been drinking from. “Have a good time in the states.”

“Amber. Wait.” Turning back around, she saw him become anxious- fumbling around in his pockets.

“What is it?”

“The real reason for why I’m leaving.. I can’t be around you.” Feeling like her heart was shattering into a thousand pieces, she wondered what she had done to him to make him leave the country. “I can’t be around you- because everywhere I go you are there, I’ve tried to get you out of my mind but I just can’t. I know you have a boyfriend, I know you are Liam’s suitor as a favour for the Beaumont’s....” Closing his eyes, he knew he had gone to far- being too open, possibly making a fool of himself. “In the stable, I was going to say that I don’t have a type but if I did it would be someone like you.” Closing the gap between them, Amber placed her arms around his neck- whilst his arms hesitantly went around her petite frame. I can’t stop thinking about you either.

“Amber...” tilting her chin upwards, he cupped her cheeks- needing and wanting to kiss her. “You need to go before I do something I regret.”

“What would that be?”

“I want to kiss you, but I know I’ll regret it.”

“Why?”

“Because you have a boyfriend, because I’ll want more. I won’t be able to get you out of my mind at all.” Standing on her tiptoes, she lent in- closing her eyes as her lips touched his. Breaking the kiss, she smiled at him- Drake was in a trance.

“Did you regret that?” Drake shook his head. God she’s a good kisser, for fuck sake. How can I leave her now I’ve kissed her? Feeling the bulge in his pants, she smirked whilst biting her bottom lip.

“I spoke to soon. Your erm... he’s speaking for you. I suppose I better leave you alone- to possibly to sort yourself out.” She winked, whilst tracing her finger down his chest.

“I did tell you before I had two hands.”

“What else can those hands do?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? These hands are very talented.”

“Well I did ask. Why don’t you show me instead?”

*****

Liam, Leo and Olivia walked to Ambers room to make sure she was okay after leaving the lawn party abruptly. Seeing her absence- they knew where to find her. Or so they hoped. Slowly opening Drakes door due to no answer- they all were shocked that neither of them were in their rooms, and that Amber wasn’t with him. Walking into the room, Olivia picked something up.

I knew you nosey bastards would come to my room, if you are reading this you have obviously realised that myself and Amber aren’t there. I’ve taken her away for the night- if you know where we are you’re all welcome to join us- we can have a goodbye party before I go to Texas. D x

“He’s taken her to his cabin.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he doesn’t want to cause a scandal by spending private time alone here. I didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Yes. That kiss obviously worked Liam. Well done. So I guess we are going to Valtoria then?” They all smirked- contacting Maxwell- he insisted on tagging along. Getting in the SUV- they didn’t know what to expect once they got there.

*****

Arriving at the cabin, they snuck upto the large glass window as if they were ninjas.

“Okay, so Drakes half naked, Amber is wrapped up in a blanket. Do you think they....”

“Leo please don’t talk about my cousin like that. It could be innocent? Come on let’s go inside.”

All entering the warm cabin, they announced themselves- noticing that neither Drake nor Amber were surprised with their unexpected visit, they were wondering if Leo had misread the situation.

“Amber I’d stick to your normal clothes- Drake doesn’t have the best fashion sense.” Olivia said sarcastically, always wanting to bring him down.

“Nice to see you too Liv. If you must know she got wet.”

“I bet she did.” Leo winked towards them both.

“What are you insinuating Zimmer? I fell in the lake and Drake jumped in to save me. The second time today.”

“How about we escape the palace tonight, go to my family’s cabin in Valtoria. I’ll take you fishing, make you the best s’mores, we can build a fire outside. Show you exactly what my hands can do.”

“That sounds amazing!”

“Go and pack a bag then. I’ll leave a note explaining where we are.”

Drake drove them to the cabin in his truck, both stealing glances off each other - neither wanting to elaborate on the kiss that they had shared.

“Oh my god. This is beautiful! Why do you stay at the palace? If I had this place I’d definitely stay here.”

“I do stay here a lot, but it gets lonely.”

“If you wasn’t going to Texas we could have just hung out here.” Ignoring the fact, he suggested that they went fishing before it became dark. On the boat they sat in silence, impatiently waiting for a catch. The scenery was quaint and beautiful.

“I’ve caught one!” Amber screeched. Standing up, she couldn’t reel it in. Losing her balance she fell into the cold water.

“Jesus Christ!” Drake jumped in immediately after her- he slowly watched her lose her balance but didn’t believe that she would fall in. “Are you okay?” Holding her tightly, he didn’t want to be the reasoning behind her drowning.

“Yeah, I don’t think fishing is my forte. Bertrand didn’t teach me that.”

“I’m going to lift you back on to the boat, please try not to fall off it this time. I think we better get you safe back on to dry land before Bertrand drowns me himself.” Lifting her up into his arms, she grabbed the side of the boat pulling herself in- turning around she held her hand out to help her saviour.

“I’ve got a spare shirt in that bag, put it on.”

“What about you?” Taking his top off, he would rather catch pneumonia than her. Amber turned away not wanting him to notice her gawking at his muscled body- fuck he’s got a good body.

“I’m fine. Just get yourself warm. I’ll get you back and make sure you sit infront on the fire with lots of blankets and whiskey.”

The friends all listened to Amber reiterate their disastrous fishing trip. Leo was still curious as to what else had happened between the two of them.

“So when are you going to Texas?”

“I should have been on the flight now.”

“I knew you wouldn’t go. I’m glad you decided to stay.” Liam looked between Drake and Amber knowing the reason why. Maxwell persuaded Amber to join him in the kitchen for a private chat, the others watched the Beaumont’s leave- before all smirking at Drake.

“What?”

“You know what.” Shaking his head, he didn’t like to gossip but he knew they wouldn’t shut up.

“We shared a small kiss. That is it. Okay?”

“About time.” That’s all its going to be. Moments in between sharing whiskey, hanging out. I don’t want her to get hurt by this Brett guy.

*****

“I thought you may want your phone, you seem to not be attached to it like you usually are.”

“Thanks Max. All I get is shit from Brett, I’m tempted to just throw the SIM card and start over with a new life.”

“A new life here? Is this because of Mr tall, dark and handsome over there?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? Care to elaborate?”

“We kissed before.....”

“You what?”

“We kissed, he said I was his type. He’s my type too.. I’m so confused Max. I don’t want to go back to New York.” Passing her phone over to her, he would support her whatever she chose. “You know what to do. You can flip the switch and brighten up your darkest day.” “No more living in those shadows.” Amber responded before dialling his number, Maxwell held her in his embrace- she knew exactly what he meant.

“Amber!”

“Hi Brett.”

[aion-rsa]

30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes

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When 30 Rock drew its final breath in 2013, yards of column inches were devoted – deservedly so – to praising the work of creator Tina Fey. Article upon article applauded the characters, cast, performances and seven seasons of energetic, inventive, satirical comedy.

More than anything else though, 30 Rock was always about the gags. It was fruitcake-dense with jokes, regularly fitting in more quotable laughs before its opening credits than many shows manage in a full half-hour. As it returns for a one-off reunion special, join us in celebrating the many, many running gags of its seven-season history, from the fake movies, to the terrible yet incredibly catchy songs, Frank’s hats, and those godawful TGS sketches…

The fake movies 

The presence of Tracy Jordan (a bonafide Martin Lawrence meets the Wayans Brothers-style movie star) in the TGS cast opened up the world of film parody to 30 Rock.

Admittedly Jenna Maloney also enjoyed a movie career of sorts, but while she was being offered the part of “any blonde actress” in torture porn flicks by the producers who watched and rented Saw, Tracy was turning down the lead in Garfield 3: Feline Groovy to pursue his serious acting career. The latter climaxed with the release of spot-on Precious parody Hard To Watch (Based on the novel Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate), for which Tracy received the O in his EGOT plan. Sheer class.

Over the years though, who couldn’t not smile at Tracy’s blaxpoitation-filled back catalogue, from the timeless romance of A Blaffair to Rememblack, to Sherlock Homie, Who Dat Ninja?, The Chunks 2: A Very Chunky Christmas, and last but by no means least, Honky Grandma Be Trippin’. The man is a chameleon (in that he’s always a lizard).

Two of Jenna’s TGS projects however, bring back the fondest memories of 30 Rock’s stinging movie satire: small-town legal drama The Rural Juror (based on a Kevin Grisham novel), and her GE-produced life rights-avoiding Janis Joplin biopic, Sing Them Blues White Girl: The Jackie Jormp Jomp Story.

The TGS sketches 

The quality of TGS’ output was never under question in 30 Rock; the sketch show was unremittingly bad (when the absence of their star meant a ‘Best of TGS’ series had to be run in lieu of live shows, Legal objected to their use of the word ‘Best’, and when a review dubbed it the worst comedy ever made, Liz was thrilled they’d defined it as a comedy). Liz Lemon’s opus was a fluorescent collection of fart gags, dodgy caricatures, Jenna’s songs, and misjudged celebrity impressions.

Beginning life as, in Kenneth’s words, “a real fun ladies comedy show for ladies”, TGS was Saturday Night Live’s idiot brother, the unsophisticated thorn in NBC’s side, under constant threat of controversy and cancellation. Forced to synergise backward overflow, advertise parent company products and promote GE interests, 30 Rock’s show-within-a-show satirised both the TV industry and tired trends in comedy (the always hilarious combination of a fat woman who’s sexually confident! Old ladies are crazy! Farts!).

Lemon may have seduced pilot Carol (Matt Damon) with her Fart Doctor skits, but TGS failed to win many hearts. With sketches like Pam the Overly Confident Morbidly Obese Woman, Ching-Chong Man Who Loves to Play Ping-Pong, Fat Hillary Clinton, Bear vs. Killer Robots, Me Want Food, and Gaybraham Lincoln, why it wasn’t more successful is a mystery.

Astronaut Mike Dexter 

Lemon may have ended up with James Marsden’s Criss Chros, but fictional boyfriend Astronaut Mike Dexter will always hold a special place in her heart. Handsomer than Dr Drew, less British than Wesley Snipes, less living-in-Cleveland than Floyd, and a million times better than Dennis Duffy, Astronaut Mike Dexter had it all… except of course, a corporeal self. 

The fake songs 

Over the years, Jenna Maroney’s singing career has vomited up some truly dreadful creations, and topping the list has to be Muffin Top (a big hit in the king-making music markets of Israel and Belgium). Seguing from its pop insanity chorus “My muffin top is all that, wholegrain, low-fat” into a Madonna-style spoken-word rap “I’m an independent lady, so please don’t try to play me. I run a tidy bakery. The boys all want my cake for free”, the song is a battery assault on the senses.

But is it worse than Jenna’s summer dance jam, Balls, which earned her the princely sum of $50 in royalties? Or her computer generated, generic benefit song in aid of an unspecific natural disaster, which urged viewers to donate to “help the people the thing that happened, happened to”? How about the Jackie Jormp Jomp performance she gave of Chunk Of My Lung, written by Jack five minutes before the show, containing the classic line “You know you’ve bought it if life makes you sweet food”? Or Fart So Loud, the un-Weird Al-able song she and Tracy wrote after he parodied the theme to Avery Jessup TV movie Kidnapped? Such riches…

It’s not only Jenna who’s provided 30 Rock’s musical intervals of course. Season three finale Kidney Now! welcomed an eclectic collection of stars including Sheryl Crow, Mary J Blige, Elvis Costello, Moby, two of the Beastie Boys, Wyclef Jean, and Cyndi Lauper to perform a We Are The World-style anthem at the Milton Green benefit gig. Angie Jordan famously released a fifteen-second single My Single Is Dropping, to ride on the wave of her reality-show fame, Frank and Pete’s Sound Mound came up with unforgettable rock anthem Weekend Woman, and in the very same episode, even Tina Fey got in on the action by providing excellent Joni Mitchell parody, Paints and Brushes.

The legacy award though, as in the 30 Rock fake song that will continue to bring joy to the hearts of fans decades from now, has to go to one song, and one song only: Tracy Jordan’s Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.

Frank’s hat slogans 

Off-set, stand-up Judah Friedlander favours his ‘World Champion’ trucker hat, the one he claims to have been awarded as the winner of the World Championships of pretty much all sports, martial arts, and that time he karate kicked Chuck Norris’ beard off his face and forced him to legally change his name to Charles.

On-set as Frank Rossitano though, Friedlander wears a series of self-designed trucker hats, each bearing a different gnomic slogan. Often incongruous, sometimes suggestive, and always odd, Frank’s hat slogans are part of the bricks and mortar of 30 Rock. In terms of favourites, we’re quite fond of ‘Alabama Legsweep’, or the laconic enigma of ‘And’, though ‘Shark Cop’, ‘Half Centaur’ and ‘Space Gravy’ also caught our eye over the seasons.

Jenna’s Mickey Rourke sex stories 

Like Dot Com’s intellectualism, this running gag may have been introduced late into proceedings, but Jenna’s torrid sexual history with putty-faced beefcake Mickey Rourke gave J-Mo some of her best lines. Jenna’s allusions to Rourke’s sexually deviant and murderous attempts on her life paint a fascinating picture for 30 Rock fans. Here are some of the finest:

“Your new vibe is a double-edged sword, much like the kind Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with”, “Nice try Hazel, but you made the same mistake Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran. You didn’t kill me when you had the chance.”, “I’m going to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually.” “Next time you’ll tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign.” “You know what they say, if you can’t stand the heat, get off Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.” Wise words.

Kenneth the immortal page 

To this day Kenneth Ellen Parcell remains something of an enigma to 30 Rock viewers. In later seasons, Jack McBrayer’s character went from being a simple country rube from Stone Mountain, Georgia to  the flesh vessel for a mysterious immortal with no reflection, no age, and links to a world beyond our own.

Plenty of reference has been made to Kenneth’s ageless and supernatural state over the years, including the suggestion that not only is he unable to die, but he’s also an angel, sent to oversee the transition of souls from one world to the next.

The fake TV shows 

It’s either a credit to the 30 Rock team or a condemnation of our times that Jack Donaghy’s hit reality viewer vote show, MILF Island, no longer feels like a parody. In generations to come, time will no doubt erode the boundaries between fact and fiction, and we 30 Rock fans will be telling our kids about the time we watched Deborah beat her competitors and claim MILF victory in the same breath as educating them about those people who ate kangaroo anuses for public approval.

MILF Island stands head and shoulders above the rest of 30 Rock’s fake TV shows (including TGS itself, lest we not forget), but that doesn’t mean that Gold Case, Los Amantes Clandestinos, Black Frasier, Homonym, or the inimitable Bitch Hunter deserve any less respect. Our fallen brothers, we salute you.

We could go on indefinitely listing the recurring jokes that made 30 Rock great, from Liz’s sandwich lust and desire to go to there, to Jack’s gloriously thatched head of hair and Republican conspiracies. As the show prepares to return, which of the above will live again?

30 Rock: A One-Time Special lands on NBC on Thursday July 16th at 8pm in the US.

The post 30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[suckitsurveys]

Animated character that was your gay awakening? Jane Lane oops.

Grilled cheese or PB&J? They are both really good. 

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? I’ll put on House Hunters or something. Or some TV show I’ve seen a million times.

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? Usually just rum and coke because I never know wtf to order if there isn’t a menu haha. 

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? My Birkenstocks.

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? I don’t know.

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? I worked at a Thai food place. People don’t seem to believe that.

Look up. What’s directly across from you? The way I’m sitting, the hall closet. 

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? Yeah. 

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? If it’s warm and rainy, I’ll open the windows and listen to it while relaxing.

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? Lox and onion and tomato and chive cream cheese.

Brunch or midnight snacks? I’d kill for a proper brunch right now.

Fruity or herbal teas? Herbal.

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? I’m not embarrassed about any of the shows I watch.

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? There’s a couple. I need to read them again. Do you match your socks? Yeah for the most part.

Have you ever been horseback riding? Yes.

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) I don’t know. Is annoying pre teen idiot a phase?

Have you ever been to jail? I’ve been arrested.

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? Cool.

Puzzles? I’ve been wanting to do a puzzle but I have no where to do it. There isn’t a big enough space aside from the floor but the cats would fuck with it. 

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? Grape juice. Fermented grape juice. Wine.

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? I don’t know.

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? Embroidery. 

Where could someone find you in a museum? Depends?

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? I have a cute lemon dress I’ve only worn once.

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? All of ‘em.

How do you dress when you’re home alone? I don’t dress any differently whether I’m home alone or not.

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? On the right side of the couch, which is closer to the TV.

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie I was thinking about Quints the other day for some reason.

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? It just depends on the photo.

Name a classic Vine I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH.

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? Some form of chicken. Strips, popcorn, patties. 

How do you top your ice cream? I don’t usually. But if I did I’d like caramel and nuts.

Do you like Jello? I do.

How are you at climbing trees? I don’t climb trees anymore but I used to be pretty good. 

[archivepolarisornah]

Let’s have some fun | Tina

Tina had been at the Callahan party for a decent amount of time, and she had a reasonable amount to drink in that time. She wasn’t “drunk”, per se. More tipsy than anything. But she was drunk enough for the mischievous part of her brain to completely over-ride the sensible part when she caught a glimpse of one James Hook on the other side of the street. (Not that it was particularly hard to do that anyway. She just had to be around Peter for three seconds for the same effect.)

The sprite of a girl had been perched on a wall at the front of the house. It was humid inside, due to the sizeable crowd, and she desperately needed some fresh air. The red cup in her hand was filled with half-melted ice cubes and a lemon wedge that she had stolen from the fridge when no one was looking. Those ice cubes subsequently spilled across the pavement when she sprung from her perch and bounded in James’ direction. She didn’t know why nor did she have a plan for when she got there, but one thing was certain - Tina was totally going to push all of Hook’s buttons.

The drinking in the new bar had been a bit disappointing to him, perhaps that was why he wasn’t even wasted as he had wanted to be. He’d hope the new bar would attract quite a few of his fellow adults but alas nothing he could do about it. He did have a drink with Jack but their conversation was brief and certainly not enough to stay there. He was about to get home when a very familiar person came walking (well he wondered if he could call this walking) towards him with an all too familiar cup in her hand.

“Tina?” His voice dripped in surprise, and part of him worried as the contents of the drink splashed on the ground as she walked over. Was she already better? Normally one who has been sick wouldn’t risk themselves by getting drunk, but he too made a few poor choices when he was a teen. Eventually, you make different decisions later in life because of the reckless things you did as a child and a teenager.

“Is something wrong?” He was surprised she even came up to him, it was after hours so technically he wasn’t her boss right now.

“Heeey,” Tina sang, skipping to James’ side. She had absolutely no plan for the conversation, but the sparkle in her eye suggested she was well on her way toward mischief. Peter was inside somewhere which could only lead to the kind of chaos she was craving and surely he would be pleased with her if she could find a way to totally mortify Hook in front of a room full of young adults.

In her tipsy state, Tina had all but forgotten why she had been given time off. Or the implications of talking to your boss while drunk. His question was deliberately ignored.

“What’ya doin’?” Tina asked in the same sickly-sweet, sing-song voice she used when she had to butter up Mr. Smee.

Heeey. Yes Tina was obviously drunk after all she never seemed this happy around him. He took note of that mischievous smile of hers. “Alright what are you up to little troublemaker.” He raised his eyebrow and offered her a smile of his own. Part of him already wondered what she was up to, but he was a patient man and quite curious to find out what was happening. He already took notice of her decision to be drunk after being granted a sick leave so this was bound to be a fun night.

“I just came from the bar, but it lacked people. Guess the adults don’t see the appeal of the new bar just yet.” He shrugged. “What are you up to Tina?” He asked her, simply playing along with what her drunk mindset was telling her to do. As an adult, it was better that he’d take an eye out so she’ll return home safely. Or she had a place to stay for the night.

“Troublemaker? Ugh, I am offended sir. Honestly!” Tina let out a small giggle, as if this would somehow help with the buttering-up plan than was forming in her head. So far it went as follows: Get Hook inside of the Callahan House. Ply him with drink, and if he doesn’t take the drink, make it totally clear that he is an old man and that he’s ruining the mood. If he does take it, then find every way possible to embarrass him for showing up to a college party and getting wasted. Then find Peter and let him finish the game! Tina and Peter triumph, Hook is defeated, they all live happily ever after!

She wasn’t really listening when he replied and was taken a back - she wasn’t really expecting an answer.

“Oh, that sounds really boring.” For a brief moment her smile dropped and she sounded like stone-cold sober Tina. But it didn’t last long. She was back to batting her eyelashes and swaying on her heels in the time it took her take a sip of melted ice from her cup.

“I am at a party and just totally minding my own business.” She had switched back to that same sparkly voice for a moment prior. And then she feigned a bright idea, linking her arm with James’. “Oh my god, you should totally come to the party!”

“You do realize you don’t have to call me sir outside working hours. I’m not your boss at the moment.” James pointed out though a small smile carried on his lips as she told him she was offended. It was as if part of him already guessed that there was someplace giving alcohol to these college brats, but he just needed to figure out where. And more than that it seemed like she was quite interested in chatting with him. Which probably meant one thing, she needed something.

“Oh it was, very,” James admitted, arms crossed at the sudden change of tone but it was quickly back to her drunk chatter. “I honestly think you are drinking water at this point with all you spilt.”

When she invited him to the party his smile grew. “You don’t say-” He wondered if she was thinking straight inviting an adult to a party. She probably just begged to be disappointed. “Well, I cannot say you have any bad ideas. You know what, sure. I’ll join you.”

Tina quirked an eyebrow and she might have smirked a little. The plan was already going far too well. She could already feel the triumph. Peter would be so proud! “Okay, whatever you say, James,” Tina drolled. It felt horribly unnatural to call him anything but ‘Sir’ or ‘Mr. Hook’.

“Wha– Aren’t you proud of me?” She gave the cup a shake, so that whatever was left of the ice rattled against the plastic. “I’m totally being responsible. Imagine that!” (Maybe the cool night air had hit Tina and she was actually little bit drunker than she initially thought.)

Tina giggled gleefully when he took her up on the invitation. She even pulled his arm closer. “It’s gonna be great!”

He couldn’t resist the small shake of the head when he took notice of that smirk. She really must think she was a clever girl right now, certainly up to no good. “Exactly, Tina.” Well, he wouldn’t allow her to call him James during working hours, but off the clock, he truly didn’t mind.

“Oh, very.” He clapped his hands to stroke her ego even more. “Yes, I’d never would have guessed. Such a big girl.” He also wouldn’t have guessed he’d end up babysitting her after-hours ended. He was used of it when it came to Peter. Who considering Tina was at this party, he would put some money on it Peter wasn’t far off either.

“Lead the way princess.” Though the nickname slipped, he could always blame it on the whiskey he drank rather than a simple playful gesture.

Tina was feeling mighty proud of herself by this point. In a more sober state this would have been embarrassing as hell. Usually her manipulation attempts with Hook were very different. Shameless flirting only worked on Smee, and she wouldn’t ever think about trying it with James within a ten mile radius. But she was unabashedly shameless when drunk, apparently. Drunk Tina’s brain was telling her that it was the flirting that was totally working in her favour, and that was why James was going along with her plan, unaware of the consequences she had planned for doing so. Blissfully unaware that he probably felt sorry for her and could turn him in to her babysitter at any moment.

Tina beamed proudly, sticking her nose in the air in accomplishment. (Her ears might have flushed a light pink when he called her Princess; she was not above taking a endearment from anyone.) The arm she had firmly planted around James’ arm now slipped and she took hold of his wrist, pulling him triumphantly toward Nancy Callahan’s bustling house. “You know, James…” Still felt weird. “I don’t even know who’s party this is.”

There were a lot of things running through his head with that last line she gave him, but he settled with one he felt was more important. Thank god, I’m not the parent that will receive a heart attack when coming home to the mess these kids have created. Or even more: Thank god I’m not the child who started the party. Neither roles sounded appealing, he’d be the man who was going to check the damage and perhaps if he was in a good enough mood, he’ll even send Peter to clean up part of the mess.

Though he was well aware Peter never would. He had hoped Peter would mature a bit under his care but Peter had proven that he had a strong will, and wasn’t one to take directions. Even if he gave him shelter and food there was no hair on that kid’s body that trusted him. Which at days was a bit of a stinging pain. James would never tell.

“Well, does it matter whose party it is?” He asked her. Back in the day, a party was a party. It could belong to the biggest geek there was if there was booze people would show up. Did that already change with the next generation?

“Not really! I just thought – seeing as you’re an old man and all that – that it would be an important thing you’d have to know. Or something. To be, like, polite or whatever. Y’know, send them a thank you card or whatever it is your kind do these days.” It seemed that in the short time it took them to walk to the door, Tina had decided that her flirting had worked, and now she could say absolutely anything she liked. She hoped it would sound endearing, but her penchant for insulting, unfiltered chatter was swiftly taking over.

Tina let go of James’ wrist when they made it to the door, though she stayed close enough that she could guide him toward the most potential for damage. The kitchen, maybe, or the liqueur cabinet she had spotted earlier that was filled with drinks that could easily knock her out with half a glass. The people around them were already so intoxicated that an adult - a real adult - walking through the crowds barely caused a stir, much to Tina’s disappointment. At the very least it would have been amusing to see some of the kids panicking that they would be caught out past curfew or doing questionable things with total strangers.

“Old man, I’m only 35 years old.” She made it sound like he was ready for retirement. He was still young, but his demeanour and the way he spoke might have aged him more than he was. It was simply an act to look more professional, he’s been in a fair share of trouble before. He was no saint, though he tried his hardest now to have his conscious clean. “Thank you card? I feel like you watch too many movies and picture me as a tv dad or something.”

Who in their right mind sends a thank you card? Maybe for a wedding or something but for an invitation to a party? That would be beer, wouldn’t it? Tina really could be strange at times but her drunken self truly was something. “Tina, I do hope you are aware that adults are quite capable of having fun, and aren’t ‘polite’ all the time.” He let her guide him to the kitchen, his eyes fell on how empty the, what he assumed the liquor cabinet to be. That’s a lot of drunken teens.

At least the place wasn’t on fire.

“So this is the party-” He wouldn’t say he pictured it grander, but it was exactly that. “Guess I’m more into pool parties.” He mumbled more to himself. There were just a bunch of teens drunk, wobbling and laughing. These kids are way too nice.

Maybe it was just because he was her boss, and a very present authority figure in her life (of which she had next to none) but James seemed significantly older to Tina than he actually was. Peter’s attitude toward him didn’t help the matter. Anyone who wasn’t young and reckless was automatically old and boring. Referencing TV dad’s didn’t help much either. Tina grimaced slightly, as if this was some realization that she hadn’t anticipated and hoped that she would forget about when she was significantly more sober. “To be fair,” she replied through a wash of existential dread. “A TV dad is the closest thing I have as a reference point, so, like, can you blame me?”

Without much thought, Tina replaced the red cup in her hand with a new one sitting on top the counter, and lifted a nearby, almost empty bottle of… something… from it’s precarious position on top of a chair.  “I have yet to be proven otherwise on that ‘Grown-Ups are fun’ thing, but, like, feel free!” Her smile returned when she spoke again. Her ears pricked up, and Hooks comment didn’t go unnoticed.

She stood on tip-toes and moved closer as if telling a secret. “They do have a pool…”

“Well, it’s not like it’s much different to me.” If he was realistic the closest a father figure came to him was this male nurse who took care of him in the orphanage. “I’ve been an orphan ever since birth, I had a nurse, If I were to base a father on someone it’ll be that guy I suppose.” It never had bothered him, after all, he ended up a successful businessman, though by foul deeds. In the end, it didn’t matter, his business was thriving and existed. “I know I’m far from a father figure, and I have a life after hours. It’s a bit silly to think an adults life is just work and no play Tina.”

He chuckled as he took the red cup out of her hand. “You already got quite a bit of a drink, and I had none. Why don’t you leave the drinking to someone who can actually hold his liquor.” When she revealed that there was a pool the man’s eyes began to shine and his smile widened. “You don’t say.” He scooped her up into his arms and smiled. “Guess you won’t mind a swim then?”

“That sounds, like… super tragic, man,” Tina nodded, feigning sympathy. Really, she didn’t think people needed father figures. Hadn’t she turned out perfectly fine without one? By now she was giving the bottle in her hand a shake, trying to read the sticker through bleary eyes, and pouring what was left in to the cup. When empty, she set the bottle back on the counter. “Y’know, you could totally prove me wrong and let us have fun at work…”

James took the cup from her hand and she blinked in confusion before a flustered huff escaped her nose. “Heeey, that’s not fair,” Tina whined, reaching for the cup and stomping her foot on the ground. A pout formed on her lips. How rude! Tina could, like, totally hold her liquor, and she was holding it fine had James’ not just taken it from her hands. “I can tot-Oh!”

Tina suddenly felt considerably too far away from the floor. (She was small, so any height was too far off the floor.) Her attention had previously been on reaching the red cup, and she now found herself gaping in horror in James’ arms. She came to the realisation that her taunting and flirting had backfired just as quickly as James’ had lifted her off the ground. “Wh– No! You wouldn’t! Please don’t…”

“Is it though?” James shrugged. “Think about it, we humans are capable of taking care of ourselves when being placed in the right learning environment. And that can be everything, even the streets.” You learn how to live, to survive. He chuckled. “But Tina, there is a rule created that being you separate work and pleasure.” Which meant, even if he was the stern and boring boss on the work floor, he was one that could enjoy a bottle or two after hours. “It’s all about keeping a face in our business. What about I’ll allow you some fun when I close up?”

“Neither is life.” James teased. As his arms eased up around her. Well, maybe he shouldn’t have drunk a bottle of whiskey alone. Yet she went out to bother and probably get him into trouble. Foolish. He was quite capable of that himself. Yet he couldn’t blame her, she only knew the facade he wore for business.

“I would. And I will.” James smiled carrying her near the pool. “Ready to become a mermaid princess?”

“I… I guess…” It felt, weirdly, as if Tina had walked out of a fun, exciting party and straight in to the office of her course Councillor, who liked to lecture Tina repeatedly about the path she was choosing in life. And those lectures always sounded just like those Charlie Brown cartoons, where the teachers only spoke in a series of ‘blahs’. How much had he actually drank at the bar before he got here? Tina had heard that gin makes you cry, and that whisky probably turned you in to a sap. James certainly seemed the latter. Absolutely not what Tina experienced at work. “I don’t know that your idea of pleasure and fun is the same as mine,” she replied, increasingly worried about the prospect of being dunked in the nearby pool.

“Mermaid? No! I’m– I’m more like a, uh, a gremlin! Don’t feed me after midnight, and don’t get me wet! Please, it’s better for us all if this doesn’t happen!”

As they neared the pool, Tina found herself grasping at James’ shirt for dear life. She really, really, did not want to go swimming right now! Maybe if she held on tight enough he couldn’t get the momentum to throw her in to the pool. Maybe she would look totally desperate (she did) and he would feel awful about and change his mind.

James hummed as he earned an agreement of her. It’s what experience does in life. He was never well-treated. Yet he still had a steady business and worked hard to make up for all he lacked throughout life. He held no shame in being abandoned if anything he wore it as a medal of honour. He had not relied on his parents to achieve anything in his life, he didn’t even know who they were. And even if he would eventually find out he had no desire to know them any longer.

“Little Gremlin Tina?” He was a bit surprised. “Guess the princess fits you more.” He did wonder why she shouldn’t be fed at midnight, yet then again this might just be women being worried about their body figure. Or she had a weak stomach, yet seeing what she was drinking before he doubted that. “Oh truly?”

She certainly didn’t know him is she truly believed guilt would stop him from getting her in the pool. But he had the nature to worry, so he decided she wouldn’t be the only one that would get wet. He could use a sober up as well.

Instead of just throwing her in, he tightened his hold around her and smiled, before jumping in himself. Perhaps it was due to his height, or the pool simply not being too deep, he found the ground at ease, and managed to easily hold Tina in a princess carry despite being completely soaked. “All is well if anything you can get some spare clothing at my place.” He teased. “The water is quite nice don’t you think, not as cold as I thought it would be. I suppose it’s a heated one.”

“No, no, no. Definitely a Gremlin! Like… the one with the lips…” Tina insisted. To begin, she made a point of not swimming. She just wasn’t a strong swimmer. And any pranks that the Lost Boys may have tried that involved water ended with Tina going absolutely ballistic. There was nothing that would be considered Princess-like when Tina was soaking wet and on the war path. “Really, truly, honestly, this is bringing me no pleasure whatsoever.”

Now she was rambling away in an attempt to distract from James’ plan. Why wasn’t it working? It should totally be working! Why are still going right toward the pool?!

A horrified squeal broke through the music of the party, followed by the splash. Tina’s arms had flown from her vice-like grip on his shirt, to an equally tight hold around his neck.

It took her a minute but she finally stopped holding her breath. Her death grip around James showed no sign of giving up, however. “I’m going to murder you in your sleep,” Tina stated, barely above a whisper, into James’ shoulder. And then she shook her head harshly, glaring up through already-smudged eyes. If her face burned any hotter, the water would have boiled them alive. “This is not fucking nice, I want out. Now!!” Eyes of party goers were turned toward them now, and she was utterly mortified.

“HmmHmm, No I don’t see it,” James said. She was petite like a fairy rather than a gremlin. James could swim well, be it in the sea or in a pool. And she was held quite strongly so she wouldn’t get hurt. He wasn’t too worried about it if she couldn’t swim, with how the pool looked he could probably reach it with his feet to keep her afloat. All is fine. “Well bringing you pleasure is never my purpose now is it, Tina? I’m your boss, I should give you agony instead.”

The walk continued and though he had noticed her distress, yet that really prevented for what happened next.

He laughed as she holds onto him. “Isn’t it refreshing?” James teased her, knowing well aware in the next couple of seconds she would go from startled to complete rage.

“That would mean you will have to come to my bedroom, and princess I’m very sure you won’t do that.” The smirk on his lips betrayed his amusement, and her thread went in no man’s ears. “My aren’t you turning into a red one.” He laughed. “But Tina, you told me yourself - I? I am not Nice.” He twirled her around in the pool a final time before bringing her back to the edge. “Now, seems like you got quite some eyes on you. And I should get some dry clothes at my place. Tata Tina.

[geekbar12]

Geek Bar Pink Lemonade: A Refreshing Vape Experience

In the world of disposable vapes, Geek Bar has emerged as a leading brand, known for its wide range of flavors and high-quality devices. One of the standout flavors that has quickly gained popularity among vapers is the Pink Lemonade variant. With its unique blend of tangy citrus and sweet, fruity notes, Geek Bar Pink Lemonade delivers an exceptionally refreshing and enjoyable vaping experience.

What is Geek Bar?

For those who might be new to the vaping scene, Geek Bar is a brand of disposable vape pens that offer users a convenient, no-fuss way to enjoy their favorite flavors. Geek Bars are pre-filled with e-liquid, come fully charged, and are ready to use right out of the box. These devices are designed to be sleek, portable, and easy to use, making them ideal for both beginners and seasoned vapers who want a hassle-free experience.

The Pink Lemonade flavor is part of Geek Bar’s extensive lineup, which includes everything from fruity blends to classic tobacco flavors. Geek Bar Pink Lemonade, in particular, stands out due to its perfect balance of sweet and tart, reminiscent of the popular summertime drink.

Flavor Profile: A Perfect Balance of Sweet and Tart

Geek Bar Pink Lemonade is a mouthwatering mix of zesty lemon and refreshing pink fruit flavors. The flavor is designed to mimic the taste of homemade pink lemonade, offering a juicy, citrusy burst with a smooth, sweet finish. This delightful balance of tanginess from the lemon combined with the mellow sweetness of pink fruits like raspberries or strawberries makes this vape both invigorating and satisfying.

The flavor is also well-rounded, meaning it’s not overwhelmingly sour or too sugary, but just the right amount of both. It’s a flavor profile that can be enjoyed by a wide variety of vapers, from those who prefer fruity flavors to those who enjoy a slightly tart note in their e-liquid.

Key Features of Geek Bar Pink Lemonade

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Final Thoughts

Geek Bar Pink Lemonade is an excellent option for anyone looking to enjoy a fruity and refreshing vape without the hassle of maintenance or refilling. With its delicious, tangy-sweet flavor and easy-to-use design, it’s no surprise that it’s become one of the brand's top sellers. Whether you’re a seasoned vaper or just getting started, this vibrant and flavorful disposable vape offers a convenient and satisfying way to enjoy your favorite fruity notes on the go.

[prorevenge]

He must have been a master hacker.

Warning: book ahead

Decades ago a was a restaurant manager. After years of working for TGI McChillibees I was recruited by a regular to come work at a hotel.

I was tired of the big corporate game and this seemed like a new challenge. Plus I was tired of trying to take pride in slinging food that when done perfectly was still mediocre at best.

Right away it was evident this hotel was a shit show. It turned out the property was under federal receivership as the owner was under indictment for making half a billion dollars in loans to banks that didn’t exist for companies that didn’t exist.

(One day the bellman who drove the shuttle can came back from a run superexcited to tell everyone the owner was back in country and he knew it because the bellman saw the owner led out of the airport in handcuffs by guys with windbreakers that read FBI.)

I was brought in to update the bars and restaurants but was not allowed to change anything. The head of housekeeping denied my request to dim the lights in the bar because it looked cleaner. I later found out this is common in some Asian countries but who the hell in America wants to sit in a bright white box with a bar in a shitty airport hotel when there are a load of hip bars a cab ride away.

No one. And that’s who was drinking in our bar. No one.

I was used to working with people more or less my age and with the same point of view. Now I was managing long term union members who gave zero fucks. Add to that the complete lack of training I was given in how to work in a union environment and it wasn’t pretty.

The HR manager (who recruited me) was leading negotiations with the union for the next contract and didn’t want to upset the apple cart so she refused to endorce any discipline. We had a busser no call/no show for a month. We let him go as it was job abandonment, it was grieved, and he was brought back as a banquet porter. Wtf?

It was a union house yet when someone no showed or called out I was expected to cover. I didn’t know this until a few weeks in when I got a call at 3 am saying I had to cover the breakfast shift as both server and cashier.

The controller was convinced everyone was stealing. She walked around all day looking for opportunities, nay possibilities that someone might remove a paper clip and screw the hotel.

The accountant sat in his office chain smoking cigarettes. He looked like something out of a movie with his long nails and an ash never less that three inches long. His office was always locked and he was barricaded in his desk by two shredders and they were always going.

The banquet manager got arrested for a DUI and convinced the guy who had my job before me to bail him out. No one knew this until one day he no showed and the cops come by looking for homie. Turns out the old manager had put his house on the line for this dude so he was fucked.

The Chef was awful. Like out of a book awful. He would buy fish from his steward who was catching them in the bay. The bay that was known to be full of PCBs and other contaminants from a few hundred years of pollution and was deemed off limits for catching food.

The Sunday buffet was everything from the last week or so covered in cream sauces and lemon slices. Didn’t matter if it was bad or not, just add more lemon slices.

Banquet food came out of the freezer and got put in the hot box hours before the event yet this clown ran around yelling at everyone like he was Gordon Ramsay.

The GM was told his contract wouldn’t be renewed a month into my tenure so he said fuck it and had me order cases of Dominus, and Lynch Bages, a fifth growth Bordeaux that drinks like a first. I learned that wine crap later as I was 25 and considered Miller Genuine Draft Light and Rumpleminz the pinnacle of fine drinking. All I knew was the shit was spends.

He would get off work and sit in the bar knocking back $60 of wine (around $100 in today’s scrilla) while I was yelled at for letting him do it.

Let him do it? That was my boss. How could I stop him?

Needless to say things weren’t working out so after a few months we agreed at my 90 day review to part ways. It was an easy decision.

I was moving on and happy in my next gig but still friends with some of the people I worked with who were there. In fact I ended up in the wedding of one of them.

I was already salty about my time there as what I was promised and what happened were worlds apart. But then my friend got fucked over.

She had landed a long term contract with the power company. We had some bad storms that damaged the power grid and they brought people from another market in for 9 months to trim trees, modernize things, whatever it is power companies due in such cases.

My friend should have received 1.5% of all their billing. Rooms, food, misc expenses all should have had a slight vig that kicked to her as was laid out in her employment bonus program. This would have been huge money as it was dozens of rooms a night over nine months.

When bonus time rolled around they kicked her a tiny fraction of what she was owed. Instead of close to 6 figures she barely got a few grand.

She was livid, as was her fiancé and I.

One night we were all bitching about it at the bar watching football. I really hated that place for me, for her, for everyone stuck in that hellhole. A terrible thought entered my brain around halftime and wouldn’t go away. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do but this would be my night.

I drove to the property and parked next door. It was not a well lit area so I could sneak over to where my old office was and jumped the wall. We always left the slider open to go out and smoke (it was a converted ground floor room) and I knew the banquet manager who shared the office was still on the run so I should be safe.

Once in the office I looked around trying to decide what to do when I saw the POS computer. This was the 90s so everything was controlled by this dinosaur from the 80s in the backroom that had a plastic box over the keyboard so no one could accidentally hit a key.

I grabbed my shirt like I’d seen in the movies so I wouldn’t leave any prints and fired it up. This old beast ran MSDOS as it’s operating system and I was enough of a geek to know what to try.

I typed in cd\ to get to the root directory. Then del . For the vast majority out there who have no idea what that means wiped out the root directory. I was giddy with that total “aw fuck what did I just do” feeling. Not sure if that was enough and completely surprised I was able to do so I double downed and typed in format /c.

The damn thing blinked and just started chugging along. Fucking erased itself.

I got the hell out of there and somehow made it home without a dui. I guessed they’d have to reboot from a back up and ha ha that would be a pain in the ass.

A year or so later I ran in to some of the hotel peeps in a bar and they asked if I’d heard about what happened.

It turned out that someone hacked the pos system and destroyed it. Because it was so old, “experts” had to be flown in and they said the person must have been a masterful hacker because if they had done anything less then it would have been an easy fix. Anything more and it would have left electronic fingerprints.

It turned out that there were no back ups. It was towards the end of the month and all the sales data was gone. The experts couldn’t rebuild a system so old so a new system had to be purchased and installed. That alone ran over 6 figures to do.

This also triggered an audit.

Remember the controller who was convinced everyone was stealing? Turns out she was. She and the accountant were led out of the hotel in handcuffs as it turns out the feds don’t like it when you embezzle from a company in their receivership.

At that point it hit me that I could be in some seriously hot water so once my heart started pumping again I stopped any sort of coy “what do you mean” bullshit when asked if I knew anything about it and shut the hell up.

The statute of limitations is long gone and it’s an obvious throwaway. I wish I could take credit for being such a master l33t haxter but it was just the actions of a pissed off drunk with a geeky background.

(source) (story by Poskilla)

[goodcryunicorn]

30 Rock // Liz Lemon

Name:  Liz Lemon Age: 35 - 47 Relationship: Single (verse depending) open for ships Sexuality: Heterosexual Job: Writer Residence: New York, New York, U.S Faceclaims: Tina Fey Blog written by: @goodcryunicorn2​

Liz is from a town in Pennsylvania called "White Haven". Liz's parents, Dick and Margaret Lemon, are very supportive of her, at least outwardly. Her brother Mitch had a skiing accident on Sunday, December 8, 1985 when he was a high school senior. Afterward, he remained "stuck" in the day before the accident, thinking for the next twenty-two years that he was still seventeen and that it was still 1985 until his sister Liz Lemon forces him to remember at an Italian restaurant at Christmas-time. Liz was inspired to become a writer by Rosemary Howard, the first female head writer of Laugh-In. She mentioned that she used to teach improv to senior citizens. In college, she majored in Theater Tech with a minor in Movement for which she still has an outstanding student loan. Liz and Jenna Maroney shared an apartment in a Chicago neighborhood called "Little Armenia" and together dreamed of making it big. They began The Girlie Show on Second City. Liz and Jenna worked for years to turn The Girlie Show into a television series, the pair of them moving from Chicago to New York City for it. Liz became the head writer for The Girlie Show while Jenna became the show's main star. Liz lost her virginity when she was 25 in the makeup room of a clown academy. It is announced that Liz's former boss Gary has died and Jack Donaghy takes his place. Jack immediately decides to retool the show to make it appeal to a larger demographic, starting by firing Liz's trusted producer Pete Hornberger and making her hire unpredictable actor Tracy Jordan as the show's new star. Liz manages to convince Jack to re-hire Pete, but Jack is insistent on making the show center around Tracy and, much to her chagrin, he renames the show TGS with Tracy Jordan. Liz is generally portrayed as something of a geek, so, although apparently a skilled writer, she seems to have precious few social skills. For example, while she was trying to meet a date at a karaoke bar, a man asked her if the seat next to her was taken and she asked him why she should move her coat just so he could sit there. Jack has described her as "socially retarded". Liz wants to "have it all" -- meaning a family and a career -- but is a stubborn, strong-willed person who can't bring herself to settle for just anyone. She dates men throughout the first five seasons, using singles events and the dating service Match.com to find a boyfriend, as well as K-Date, the personals section of the Kraft Foods website. Liz is a big fan of Star Wars, often using events from the original trilogy to explain her feelings and actions in daily life. Liz mentions that she recently dressed up as Princess Leia for four Halloweens in a row. Liz considers Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones to be the worst film of the series.

VERSES

[stories-me]

Possible Character for Mrs. Kelsey 8/3/2021:

 Liz Lemon; Overworked, Underappreciated Television Sketch Comedy Showrunner:

 Appearance: (see above).

What she’s from: 30 Rock.

What she’d be in: Modern League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (cameo).

Background:

Liz Lemon was born in November, 1970.

Liz was inspired to become a writer by Rosemary Howard, the first female head writer of Laugh-In. She mentioned that she used to teach improv to senior citizens. In high school, Liz believed that she was an unpopular “nerd” that all of her classmates picked on, only to learn two decades later at her 20-year high school reunion that she was, in fact, the universally disliked class bully. 

In the pilot, it is announced that Liz’s former boss Gary has died and Jack Donaghy takes his place. Neither Jack nor Liz recognizes the other from their brief conversation twenty years earlier. Jack immediately decides to retool the show to make it appeal to a larger demographic, starting by firing Liz’s trusted producer Pete Hornberger in order to make room in the budget to hire unpredictable actor Tracy Jordan as the show’s new star. Liz manages to convince Jack to re-hire Pete, but Jack is insistent on making the show center around Tracy and, much to her chagrin, he renames the show TGS with Tracy Jordan.

Since 2005, Liz has lived in an apartment at 160 Riverside Drive (which changes to 168 Riverside Drive in later seasons; the building is fictional, but the address corresponds to the block between 88th and 89th Streets); her apartment number is 3B. When the building is converted to condominiums, Liz purchases both 3B and 4B with her earnings from Dealbreakers, with the encouragement of both Jack and Jenna. (“Sun Tea”)

Liz has also evidently won at least one Emmy Award. In addition to her responsibilities behind the camera, Liz occasionally acts in TGS sketches.

Now, during Nyarlathotep and his allies attempting to bring about the apocalypse, she discovers that, apparently, zombies (and other such creatures) “mostly” hate improv. Go figure.

Personality:

After a mere glance at her in the pilot, Jack sums up Liz as a “New York third-wave feminist, college-educated, single-and-pretending-to-be-happy-about-it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says ‘healthy body image’ on the cover and every two years you take up knitting for… a week”. This is confirmed by Pete to be accurate, commenting that the “knitting” part, in particular, was uncanny.

Liz is generally portrayed as something of a “geek”. So, while she is an apparently skilled writer, she seems to have very few social skills (in “Rosemary’s Baby”, Jack describes her as “socially retarded”). For example, while she was trying to pick up men at a karaoke bar, a man asked her if the seat next to her was taken, leading her to ask him why she should have to move her coat just so he could sit there. Liz is often shown to be generally insecure and holds a strong concern for how she is perceived by others. Liz is sometimes dismissive of others, a personality flaw that can be connected to her lack of social skills. Assessing Liz’s personality up to near the end of season 3, Jonah Weinerslav described her as “an eternal 13-year-old tomboy — scared of sex, obsessed with Star Wars and meatball subs” and as “cling[ing] to a fantasy of presexual, junk-food-munching adolescence”.

Liz has a rather satirical sense of humor. She has frequently been shown to be a stress eater, a trait she shares with Jack. Despite the fact that she often ingests high-amounts of junk food on a daily basis, she seems to keep her weight under control, perhaps because she does not seem to have proper meals. According to Fey, the character is not bulimic; “she just likes to eat”. Liz does have some knowledge of cooking, though she admits to only using her oven to warm her jeans in the morning. She is allergic to both dogs and cats, as well as “anything warm and adorable”. However, she does believe her allergy to dogs is psychosomatic, as she mentions that a dog bit her during the time of her first period.

Liz also has a tendency to say “blërg!” (the name of her home office furniture from IKEA), “nerds”, “what the what?”, “nertz”, “nerf herder” (quoting Princess Leia in The Empire Strikes Back), “whuck?” and “son of a mother” as replacements for curse words; she has also notably used the phrases “shut it down”, “I want to go to there”, “deal-breaker”, “pwomp”, and “by the hammer of Thor!”.

How she is like me:

We both have to deal with frustrating individuals and situations on a regular basis. I’m working on tolerating frustrating people and situations with the aid of my calming strategies. Still, I do have problems, especially with unexpected frustrating incidents.