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camillemontespan · 5 years

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lost stars [AU. drake, camille, leo and olivia] [part nine: champagne]

Part Eight here if you want to catch up.

Oh I had so much fun writing this chapter! It’s fluff. It’s fun. No angst! I hope you guys enjoy. I know what happens at the start of this chapter will sound ridiculous but I had this idea in my head for a while so just go with it.

Warnings: NSFW.

@jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @themingdynasty @burnsoslow @dcbbw @notoriouscs @emceesynonymroll @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @drakewalkerisreal @iplaydrake @nomadics-stuff @carabeth @katedrakeohd @rainbowsinthestorm @pedudley @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld

****************************************************************************

Leo settled down on the roomy airplane seat. He had gone all out and paid for First Class- why not? He had just been dumped. As he surveyed the plane with it’s beautiful flight attendants, the TVs, and the complimentary glasses of champagne that were being handed to each passenger, he thought he could get used to this. Who needed women? He could just do this, alone, and be fine with it.

He knew flying to Paris seemed a little... weird. It was where he and Camille had been on romantic breaks. But Leo saw it as a way to get closure. Visit the city where they had been happy and just think. Then, he could get over it and move on.

Leo read over the in-flight menu. Hmm. Maybe I’ll have the steak.

‘What the fuck are you doing on my flight?’

Leo jumped at the voice above him. Looking up, his eyes widened when he saw Olivia standing in front of him. Her eyes were narrowed and her hand was on her cocked hip; she did not look like a happy bunny.

‘Liv! What are you doing here?’

She slumped down on the empty seat beside him. ‘I asked you first. I am on a getaway to Paris to get away from my break up and you are on my flight?’

Leo chuckled at the weird coincidence. Olivia batted his shoulder with her hand. ‘Well?’

‘Maybe it’s fate,’ Leo joked, giving her a shrug. Olivia rolled her eyes. ‘This is just perfect. I don’t want any reminders of my breakup.’

Leo smiled at her. ‘Then let’s take the edge off..’

Leaning over Olivia, he tapped a flight attendant on the elbow.

‘Yes, sir?’

Leo shot her a winning smile. ‘Can we please have a bottle of your best and most expensive champagne?’

*******************************************************************

Leo poured Olivia a glass of champagne and handed it to her. She tossed it down her throat in one gulp before holding the glass out again for him to re-fill.

‘So, you’re getting away from the break up,’ Leo clarified. ‘Why Paris?’

Olivia sighed. ‘I needed some retail therapy.’

‘You couldn’t have shopped at home?’

Her eyes threw daggers at him. ‘There’s not enough stores in Manhattan.’

Leo smirked and sipped the champagne. Damn, champagne tastes even better in first class in the clouds.

Olivia looked at him out the corner of her eye. ‘And you? Why Paris? Quite romantic.’

Leo shook his head. ‘It’s where Camille and I used to go for romantic breaks. I thought if I went, I could think stuff over and get closure.’

Olivia stared at him, her eyebrows raised. Leo focused on drinking the champagne; he knew she was judging him.

‘Okay, so you bought a first class ticket to go to Paris to wallow over your breakup? Leo, most people -myself NOT included- tend to break out the Ben & Jerry’s and sit and cry over Titanic. Bit of a dramatic pity party, don’t cha think?’

Leo whipped around to face her. ‘Says the woman who’s off to a European city to go shopping!’

‘Yeah, but I’m not wallowing. Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what Drake does. I’m not ecstatic that he’s with Camille, but I’m not pining for him. I deserve better. So I’m going to Paris to buy couture, then I’ll fly back to New York, wear said couture, and just be my usual brilliant self.’

Leo laughed at that. He liked how self assured she was. He took another swig of champagne. ‘So you’re doing okay about Drake?’

She nodded. ‘I’m fine. We hadn’t been right for a while and to be honest, I think I outgrew him. I want adventure and spontaneity. I want everyday to be different. Drake doesn’t offer that, which fine, I get. I just felt a little lonely in the relationship so honestly, I’m glad it’s over.’

‘You’re so mature,’ Leo said. ‘You know what I did?’ he asked, his voice bitter. ‘I broke a picture frame and left Camille to pick up the glass shards. I called her a bitch.’

Olivia stared at him. ‘Wow. You are an actual cuntsatchel, aren’t you?’

‘What the fuck is a cuntsatchel?’

She shrugged. ‘No idea but Drake uses it as an insult all the time. This seems an apt way to describe you.’

Leo blinked. He was a cuntstachel. ‘You didn’t get angry at Drake?’ he asked.

Olivia nodded quickly. ‘Sure I did. I felt so betrayed but once I calmed down, I realised I wasn’t angry anymore. I have no need for revenge. Losing me is punishment enough.’

Leo could feel the champagne beginning to reach his head. ‘You’re so wise,’ he told her solemnly. Olivia smirked. ‘I know I am.’

The two of them drank more of the champagne in silence for a few minutes, thinking things over. As the plane flew through the clouds, Leo felt a strange sense of peace and relief; he was leaving. He would come back to New York but for now, he needed space. He needed an ocean wide space between him, Camille and Drake.

Olivia looked at him, a sly grin on her face. ‘Want to play a drinking game?’

**************************************************************************

Drake woke up tangled in the bedsheets, the early morning sunlight drifting in through the windows. Blinking, he sat up and turned to find that the bed was empty.

He had stayed over at Camille’s. Had it been weird sleeping in the bed where Leo used to sleep? Yes. But it was done.

Yawning, he dragged himself out of bed and padded through the hallway. He could hear faint music coming from the kitchen. Opening the kitchen door, he found Camille standing over the stove, flipping pancakes. She was wearing only his denim shirt and her dark hair was tousled around her shoulders; Drake had made a mess of her hair when he had made love to her the previous night.

She was singing along to Bob Marley.

I want to love you, and treat you right I want to love you, every day and every night We'll be together, with a roof right over our heads We'll share the shelter, of my single bed We'll share the same room, yeah! For Jah provide the bread...

Drake watched her with a smile on his face as she swayed her hips while flipping pancakes, singing as she did so. He could get used to this.

He never saw Olivia in the mornings because she always got up early to go to her kickboxing class. Often, he would eat breakfast alone.

Camille was making breakfast. This was a first for Drake. He cleared his throat to catch her attention and Camille turned to him, before a wide smile broke out on her face. ‘Good morning!’ she greeted him. Drake wandered over to her and wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss on top of her head.

‘Hey beautiful,’ he whispered.

Camille ran her hands down his bare chest. Drake was wearing only checked pyjama bottoms which were slung low, showing his hip lines. He looked good in the mornings.

‘Do you like blueberry pancakes?’ Camille asked him, turning back to the pancakes to make sure they weren’t burning. Drake grinned. ‘Yeah, I love blueberry pancakes. Need a hand with anything?’

‘Could you get the fresh orange out of the refrigerator?’ she asked. Drake took out a jug of fresh orange and found two glasses. He saw that the kitchen table was already set with plates and a vase of sunflowers in the centre.

Camille dished up the pancakes and then brewed coffee. Drake wondered if this domestic bliss would last. He hoped it would.

*******************************************************************************

‘Okay, never have I ever... been punched,’ Olivia said.

Leo laughed. ‘Ah, you got me.’ He took a deep gulp of champagne.

They had been playing Never Have I Ever for the past thirty minutes and the alcohol was getting to both of them. They were becoming more giggly and their voices slurred.

‘Never have I ever... been to a fashion show,’ Leo replied. Olivia’s mouth dropped open. ‘You’re so mean! You’re trying to get me drunk!’

Leo shrugged. ‘Isn’t that the whole point of this game?’

Olivia sighed and finished her glass; Leo re-filled it without being prompted. Olivia downed the glass, enjoying the bubbles.

Olivia thought of her next suggestion. She sniggered when she thought of her next play then she hiccuped. ‘Never have I everrrrr...’ she slurred, ‘ever everr.. joined the Mile High Club.’

Olivia hiccuped again.

A wicked smile spread on Leo’s face and he downed his glass. Olivia’s eyes widened at this discovery. ‘You’ve fucked on a plane?’ she hissed.

Leo chuckled. ‘Course I have!’

‘With Camille?’

Leo burst out laughing, the thought was hilarious to him. ‘Noooo. No waaay. Camille was pretty wild in the bedroom but she wasn’t one for fucking in public spaces. I think she would worry that an old lady with a weak bladder would need the bathroom.’

Olivia smirked and took another sip of champagne.

‘What’s it like?’

‘Wha?’ Leo asked, his head now beginning to spin. ‘Fucking in a plane toilet?’

Olivia nodded.

‘It’s cramped.’

Olivia leaned in closer to Leo, eager to learn more. She was a sexually adventurous person so the fact that this was one thing she had never done made her want to know more.

‘Very intimate,’ Leo continued, his voice low, looking at her with his green eyes. ‘Bodies pressed right up against each other, no room to breathe. You can only really breathe in each other. It’s so fucking hot.’

Olivia sipped some more champagne. ‘Oh really?’

Leo could see her eyes were darkening. He imagined that his were doing the same. ‘You have no choice but to just get straight to it, you don’t want anyone to knock on the door while you’re fucking, you know?’

Olivia’s eyes locked with his. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘It’s desperate,’ Leo continued, ‘primal.’ He trailed his finger up Olivia’s leather clad thigh. She looked down and watched as it trailed up towards her belt. She could feel the heat building in her core and closed her eyes.

‘You just have to have each other,’ Leo whispered. ‘Even if it’s just for that one time and you never see each other again. You’re in the clouds, there’s no rules up here.’

‘I’ve always hated rules,’ Olivia murmured.

‘I could tell.’

Olivia’s eyes met his. ‘Meet me in there in twenty seconds,’ she breathed. ‘Knock three times.’

She stood up and went to the bathroom. Leo downed the last of his champagne and counted to twenty before standing up. Discreetly, he made his way to the bathroom and knocked three times.

*********************************************************************************

Olivia unbuckled Leo’s belt as quickly as her fingers could work. Leo tangled his fingers in her red hair and kissed her hungrily. As Leo’s jeans fell to the ground, Olivia’s hand reached out to pull down his boxers. She broke away from the kiss to see what she was dealing with. Her mouth formed a big O.

Leo chuckled. ‘Like what you see?’

Olivia’s eyes bore into his. ‘I need that inside me right now.’

Leo gave her a lazy smile and picked her up to place her on the edge of the sink. Olivia realised Leo had been right; this was so cramped and intimate. She loved it.

Leo undid her belt and pulled down her leather trousers, before pulling down her lace red thong. ‘God, you’re something else, Nevrakis,’ he murmured, his eyes roaming over her. Olivia spread her legs so he could have a better view; Leo’s eyes turned black.

‘Holy fuck.’

Leo knew they should be quick. That was a big part of the Mile High Club. But gazing at her, he just wanted a little taste. Kneeling down, he placed his hands under her ass and pulled her forward so he could get closer. Olivia watched as his golden head got between her thighs and she groaned as she felt his tongue slide into her.

Maybe it was the champagne. Maybe it was the air pressure from being up in the sky. But Olivia could see fireworks. Her fingers gripped onto his head as his tongue lapped at her, tasting all of her.

As his tongue worked her, Leo brought two fingers and slid those inside her too, adding to the sensations she was feeling.

‘Oh God, Leo,’ she breathed.

Leo’s tongue worked harder, twisting and discovering new places.

‘Please fuck me,’ she begged. Olivia never begged. But this was different.

Leo stood up and placed his hands on her thighs. She braced herself for impact.

He slid in so easily; she was that worked up. Olivia cried out as she felt him fill all of her and she wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him in deeper. She wanted him in deeper.

Leo rocked his hips and drove into her. He was fucking her good and hard; he had a feeling she would be okay with that.

‘Fuck Liv, you feel incredible,’ he whispered, his breath haggered. He groaned as he felt her walls tighten around him and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Olivia bit into his shoulder, trying to hide her cries. She didn’t want the plane to overhear.

Their eyes met. Her ice blue ones meeting his forest green.

‘I’m gonna cum,’ she breathed.

Leo picked up the pace, keen to bring her to orgasm. He wanted to feel her explode around him.

She did. She cried out and Leo clapped his hand to her mouth, obscuring her screaming his name. As she crashed over the wave, Leo felt himself let go and sink into oblivion.

******************************************************************************

The plane landed at Charles de Gaulle 8 hours later. Leo and Olivia strode with their suitcases through the arrivals lounge, their gazes fixed straight ahead of them.

When they reached the exit, Olivia scanned for a taxi. ‘Okay, so have a nice time wallowing at the Eiffel Tower,’ she said.

Leo smirked. ‘I will. You’re getting a cab?’

‘Yup.’

‘Bit expensive to get into the city from here.’

‘What else do you suggest I do?’

Leo raised his hands, shrugging. ‘I dunno, maybe get the bus with me?’

The look on her face was withering. ‘Ugh. I do not use buses.’

‘You do when you’re with me.’

Olivia pointed at him. ‘First of all, I am not with you. Secondly, we are in Paris for different things, this is not a trip for the two of us. While you’re pining for Camille, I am going to Chanel. Third, buses are unhygienic.’

Leo rolled his eyes. ‘Liv, stop being a priss and just get on the bus with me. It’s cheaper. Plus you get my sparkling entertainment.’

‘You’re not sparkling.’

‘You enjoy me,’ Leo told her, a knowing look on his face.

Olivia blushed and looked away, setting her jaw. Leo continued to watch her. ‘Are you coming with me into the city or not? Come on. We just had sex, I think the time for awkwardness is done.’

‘Shhh!’ Olivia scolded him. ‘It’s a secret!’

‘I’ll pay for your bus fare,’ Leo said.

‘Why are you so keen for me to join you?’

His lazy smile again. ‘Maybe I find you interesting company.’

‘Ha. The sentiment isn’t returned.’

‘Come on, Liv. Give me your bags.’

Sighing, Olivia handed him her luggage. Leo placed it in the bus hold and guided her into the bus.

‘Ugh, I better not catch anything..’ she muttered.

‘Liv, you had sex in an airplane toilet, I think you’re already riddled.’

‘LEO!’

Leo burst out laughing as Olivia stormed down the aisle and sat down on a seat, her eyes fixed to the window. He settled down beside her and brought out a hip flask.

‘Want something to take the edge off?’

#trr fanfic #the royal romance #olivia nevrakis #drake walker #leo rhys #cake

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britishsass · 3 years

Note

If you're looking for fic ideas, maybe one of YouTuber Augustus’ streams?

Alright, time for another little fun story. I decided to go in a different style for this one, because... It's a stream, I can't write it as a story.

The Q&A Stream

In which Augustus tries to do a Q&A, Otto moderates, and everything gets derailed repeatedly to talk about giving Queepie a gun.

Username list, for reference.

AquatoGames: Is this thing working? Is this--

PsycastSix, from offscreen: You're live, Gus. Really. Get out there and talk to them.

AquatoGames: I don't know how to present live to a camera, Uncle--

PsycastSix: I do podcasts. I don't know camera stuff.

AquatoGames: Alright, fine. Hello, everyone! It's, ah. Augustus. I've heard people asking for a, ah... "Cue-and-Ay..?"

PsycastSix: Question and answer session.

AquatoGames: Oh. Alright. Um. I suppose the questions are open then? Is that how I do this? I've not done much of this... streaming.

[A pause as he glances at the chat.]

RazzleDazzle: Hi dad!!! RadioHardcore: yoooo is this the thing you wanted us to catch Raz? RazzleDazzle: Yeah!! WhaleOfATime: ( ͡❛ ω ͡❛) hiiiiii PsiKing: Otto let someone into his lab??? that can happen??? :O zanottofullbear0531: Otto is out of the frame is that supposed to happen or did he actually comb his hair for this OneKnitWanda: Augie! Good to see you! You look good!

AquatoGames: Hello, Razputin-- hello, Mama! It's good to see you both as well. Or. Ah. Read you? I think? I'm not sure of the words.

PsycastSix: Go hug a cactus, Bob. I comb my hair enough.

AquatoGames: If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask them in the chat. I'm trying to keep an eye on it.

zanottofullbear0531: what got you into this whole you tube thing? YoYoMaMa: Do you have a favourite game? Sk8erGrl: is dion going to show up on this channel, also hi mr. aquato! queepie says hi but hes not getting on my phone RadioHardcore: id trust him with a phone YoYoMaMa: I wouldn't. SpecialSnowflake: give queepie a gun! he deserves it

AquatoGames: Please don't give Queepie a gun.

PsycastSix: What about a tazer?

AquatoGames: Don't give my children weapons.

PsycastSix: Got it, don't give your kids weapons while you're watching.

AquatoGames, burying his head in his hands: Don't...

PsycastSix: Anyways, you have some questions.

AquatoGames: Right. Ah... Zanotto-Fullbear... What got me into this YouTube thing? I suppose it's more the novelty of it. I wanted to perform, this is apparently a platform suited for it. Apparently my acrobatics are liked to at least some degree here. Thank you for the relatively normal question--

SpecialSnowflake: gonna ask mr oly for a gun to give to queepie. YoYoMaMa: Lizzie, don't. WhaleOfATime: Ooooooh im going with you!!! (︡ᵔ ᵜᵔ︠) BurningPile: Elizabeth I will tell our dad if you give him a gun. SpecialSnowflake: worst sis everrrrr

AquatoGames: Thank you, Norma. Next question-- Do I have a favorite game, from Yo-Yo Mama. Yo-yo Ma, ma? Point is, no. At the moment, I'm still seeing what there is. I've never had much of a chance to try out these before. This is a learning experience for me, mostly!

PsycastSix: Nicely answered, Gus.

AquatoGames: Thank you, Uncle Otto.

BeesidesThePoint: Hello, Augustus. I have a question for you: Are you going to visit for tea with your aunt, Compton, and me later? You're always welcome to join. I wish you luck with this stream, by the way. It's a bit hard for me to keep up, nevertheless. -Cassie fullbearzanotto0531: i think he can tell its you from the grammer cass YoYoMaMa: Hello Ms. O'Pia! BeesidesThePoint: Oh. Also, it's spelled "grammar." Hello, Yo-Yo Ma. YoYoMaMa: No, this is Adam. I just thought the name was funny.

AquatoGames: Sk... Sk-eight-er-- Oh, Skater! Skater-grl asks if my son, Dion, will be on the channel. The answer is... If he wants to be, yes. Tell Queepie I say hello, as well!

PsycastSix: I'm sure he can hear you.

AquatoGames: Oh. Hello, Queepie!

PsycastSix: ...Great job. Well done.

fullbearzanotto0531: i'm going to go. this is getting a bit chaotic... BeesidesThePoint: Oh. Alright, Bob. I'll see you in the Gulch? fullbearzanotto0531: Yep.

AquatoGames: Oh, tea-- When would that be, Aunt Cassie?

BeesidesThePoint: Well.... OneKnitWanda: i'm about to head there soon myself

AquatoGames: I'll cut the stream short, then. Everyone, I'll be back later. Right now, I think that I've been invited to something I should go to.

[Stream ended.]

#guns tw.#ask response #anon #the owl writes #youtuber augustus au

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arwaaxxi · 7 years

Text

Why me?

Summary- Having Daryl confess his feelings for you, was the only thing you ever wanted in this ruined world. But what happens when Negan shows up and everything changes.

[PART FIVE]

[Previous part] [Next part]

Characters - Father!RickxReader. DarylxReader. NeganxReader.

Note- it’s going to be a series.

Warnings- Smut in future parts, maybe? Violence. Abuse.

Number of words - 1285

I think for the first time in so long I actually had few hours of sleep. This wasn’t a fluffy bed or anything. It was a cold floor But you don’t know why or even how, but you actually got some sleep Your body relaxed, your brain shut down in a very long time And the loud music ceased to exist. Suddenly you felt like the old days, the days before the apocalypse, when everything you wanted was the way you wanted. Well that’s what happens when there is no parents around to tell you what to do and what not to do!

A bucket of cold water was thrown at me and that’s when I jolted up from my sleep Dwight was standing there with a silly smile on his face a big bucket in his hand “You wouldn’t wake up, I called your name a lot of times.” He said and for a moment there I thought he smiled softly “Yeah.” I coughed awkwardly. “You were sleeping like a baby, not like you are kidnapped and prisoned and tortured or anything. No pressure!” He smirked and I rolled my eyes “Negan wants to see you, apprently he has a gift for you!” Dwight shrugged as he moved a side, waiting for me to get up.

We walked for a while until we stoped in front of a door. Dwight knocked and Negan yelled for him to enter

“Jesus!” Negan said cheerfully as he got up and stood in front of me.

How this man is always this energetic is beyond me

No matter what I would never be as excited as him

“You look awesome!” He laughed “I get it that you are all alone in that cell but that is supposed to be your punishment, sweetheart! Don’t go getting yourself all wet!” He winked at me and my face flushed with color

Did he just imply what I think he just implied?

God he is such an asshole

“Dwight, did you hear any noises coming from her cell?” He asked Dwight but his eyes were fixed on my red face, his tongue was dancing between his teeth

I couldn’t look at the man, he was making me feel wierd

“No I didn’t” Dwight said with a straight face and Negan leaned back before coming back up laughing

“Naughty gurl!” He chuckled “are you blushing?” He said amused and I turned my face away from him

This dude is crazy

“I never thought girls blushed at all, now!” He laughed

“Now listen sweetheart, I have thought about it and I don’t think I can let you work for points, nor do I wanna put you on the spike either and I don’t want you around men serving me. So all the three options I gave you earlier has expired” he grinned

I didn’t like where this was going

“See, you got my attention, and not anyone gets it, hell I don’t give it to anyyyyy one! Which makes you kind of unique and trust me that’s the best compliment you are everrrrr going to get so be proud of yourself!” He chuckled and I rolled my eyes

“I want you to marry me!” He said and I felt his fingers touch my jaw. I tried not to flinch

Damn him Damn you Damn me Damn Dwight Damn Lori for giving me birth And damn Rick for not using a proper protection that day

“Amazing!” Negan hummed “you are not afraid of Lucille but you are afraid of me touching you!” He chuckled

“I’m not afraid of shit!” I hissed back

“Oh she speaks!” Negan laughed as he twirled around

“What makes you this I will ever marry a man like you?” I spat and he smirked

“Well you have no other option!” He snickered

“Kill me, I don’t care! But I ain’t marrying you!”

“Why kill you? I could just make people who live here line up, make you watch as I kill them one by one. Their blood will be on your hands, sweetheart!” He laughed, is he fucking serious

I laughed

Truly I laughed

“What’s so funny?” Dwight bosses next to me

“You mistake my care for my people as care for human lives.” I said simply “I don’t care who or how many people you kill. I still won’t marry you.” I shrugged

“Wow!” He said surprised “I don’t take you as the selfish kind!” He hummed

“It’s not selfishness, I just have my priorities sort out!”

“so I thought you would refuse my offer so I brought a convincing card with me!” Megan’s eyes lit with mischief

“Nothing is ever going to change my mind!” I said sternly

“Oh I think I will take my chances!” Negan smiled as he signaled for Dwight to open the door

My breath hitched

Oh crap

Oh no

Why

Just tell me why

Why this shit keeps happening to me

Why me

“We caught Daryl here trying to sneak in, he killed many of my men, he killed fat Joey! And hell I liked fat Joey!” Negan said angrily

I tried to bolt towards Daryl, run towards him, but Negan’s arm came around me.

His arms were wrapped around me from behind, as if he was hugging me, only thing is, he was crushing me in his hold

“Daryl!” I yelled and Daryl’s eyes snapped to me

“Shit, Y/n!” He yelled but Simon hit him on his head knocking him unconscious

“You bastard!” I struggled in his grip

Trying to get away from him

He smelled like whiskey, mint and death

I hated him

“Let me go!” I said as I shoved my elbow in his stomach but he kept laughing

His laugh vibrating his body

I wiggled trying to get away but his grasp was too strong

I ducked my head down and with all force I got I snapped it up, hitting his jaw hardly

He threw me on the bed that was in the room

I hit my head in the headboard, I winced in pain

I tried to get up but Dwight was standing in front of me with two guns

One pointed at me and other on Daryl

Oh you bloody fuckers

“You are a fierce one, I like it that way!” Negan laughed as he stood in the end of the bed

“Let Daryl go!” I hissed and he chuckled

“That’s not how it works, sweetheart!” He smiled

“Let him go and I will marry you!” I said, each word was like a stab to my heart

After almost 7years of crushing over Daryl I marry a fucking psychopath.

How fucking great

“Nope!” He said smirking

“What do you mean, Nope?” I said annoyed

“You marry me and I won’t kill him!” Negan smiled

“You don’t play fair!”

“Not when it comes to you, sweetheart!”

“How do i know you won’t kill him after I marry you?” I asked worried

“I’m a stand up guy Y/n! I keep my word.” He said and I didn’t find and hint of lies in his words

“What will you do with him?” I asked as I looked at Daryl’s unconscious body

“I will do the same as you” he shrugged

“Marry him?” I asked confused, just after the words left my mouth I realized how stupid I sounded

Negan laughed

Of course he did

Bloody smug asshole

“Aren’t you cute!” He laughed “I’m gonna put him in that cell until he works for me”

“you can’t do that to him!” I protested

“Oh I will!” Negan laughed

“Can I at least talk to him one time.” I requested looking anywhere but him

“No!” He said simply

“Please.” I begged, looking up at him with pleading eyes

“Well fuck! I do have a soft spot for you!” He laughed “you will have ten minutes with him when he wakes up, and then we get married!” He laughed and I nodded

“Good! Welcome to your new room!” He whistled “Dwight will get you some clothes, change and then I will come get you then you meet Daryl here!” He smirked

“Okay.” I said looking away

“Now I will leave you, I have a wedding to get to!” He smirked and disappeared

I’m going to marry this lunatic

@jouveriaalam @thewalkingdead178

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345pm · 6 years

Text

Yooooo, I really miss my baby boy rn! He ain’t even my mans & he’s corrupting my thoughts. Lmaooooo. Third time in a row that I’m venting on here. He’s all I can think about rn & for whyyyyy? Like I dead ass miss himmmmm. I wanna see him so badly & then when I do, imma be nervous & not have a lot of shit to say. Lmao. I am crushing on his ass so hard & it makes no sense. Lol!

I wanna just sit down & tell him how I’m feeling about him, but I don’t wanna come on too strong (again) & have him think I’m a weird bitch. Lmaoooo even though he probably already thinks I am. I know I sound pathetic & desperate, but damn, can I just have one “date” with him? Like I’ll really be okay with that. JDSKSKS. He likes women, apparently, just not me in particular. Lmaooooothatshithurtsoooooo! Yk, idk if he likes guys also. I wouldn’t feel weird about it. I’d be a-okay with him being bi. I accept everyone. Lol!

Y’all, idk what the hell is wrong with me. I’m crushing soooo hard on him. Literally praying to God for a chance with him. Lol. Like, I’m dead ass asking God for something to spark between my crush & I. He usually closes on Sundays & I work tomorrow & if he were to tell me yes, I’d be so fucking happyyyy! If he said yes & wanted to go to McDonald’s, a book store, or even grocery shopping, I’d be estatic afffff. Be cheesing the whole day. Lmaoooooo. Anything or anywhere as long as we’re together having a good time. Lmao. I’m single af, no one wants me & I’m not looking to be with anyone else, so that offer is still on the table for is ass. Lol.

Like I said in earlier posts, he doesn’t strike me as the type to have social media, but that doesn’t he doesn’t have it. Probably a Facebook? I can’t find him on there though. I kinda hope he doesn’t have tumblr. Can’t ever let him know that I’ve been ranting to 28 (0 bc no one reads) people about him. Lmfaoooo!

I know it’s not wise to date people that you work with. Maybe shit between us will happen once I get that new job. Lol. I’ll be leaving soon. Got orientation on Wednesday. Kinda nervous! Wish me luck. Haha. God’s possibly waiting on me to get out & shit before officially putting me & my mans togetherrrrr. I sound so damn delusional. LMFAOOOO.

Nah, I’m still lowkey upset. Obviously, no matter how I feel about him, he ain’t obligated to say yes. I ain’t saying I’m angry with him or anything, I understand how this looks from his POV, but when I asked him if he wanted to go out sometime like to eat or something, he said he’d think about it & I gave him an out. I told him it was totally fine if he wanted to say no. It’s cool & I’d understand if he didn’t want to. He said it wasn’t a no, but he’d think about it. Sir, it’s been like 3 weeks. Lmaoooo. He looks me in my face & doesn’t say shit about it but will still converse with me. Lmao. I know his silence about it is a no, but @ the same time, I wish he would’ve just said no when I first asked him. Lol. Terrible, but maybe I’d be feeling a lot better now. I wish he’d tell me wassup. Like???? Yay or nay? My problem is that I’d rather just talk it out? Like face to face lol. Just some straight up shit instead of hints. I know ass ain’t forget. Lol.

Like is it even too late for me to ask again?! I’m not gonna question him 23 times about it, but I do want to ask if he’s still down or nah? Even tho in a way, he said he ain’t down. SKSKSKS. He’s probably trying to be nice to me. Just ignoring it instead or hurting my feelings? Idk. Like sir, I just wanna kiss you so badly. I’m probably a terrible kisser, but I still wanna make out with you. Lmfaooooo. I definitely can’t let him see this shit. Everrrrr. He might get a restraining order out on me. Lmao.

I work tomorrow, so I’m finna go to schleep! I’m tireddddd & I hope I dream about my boo. Lmfaooo.

#345pmrants

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lokgifsandmusings · 7 years

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Definitive Ranking of Book 4 Episodes, #2/13

2. 4x13 The Last Stand

Kuvira tears off her arm. Mako makes a Heroic Sacrifice and no one will heal him. Korra and Kuvira fight, until Korra freakin’ bends pure energy, rips apart the city, and demonstrates her growth in one quick spirit world conversation. Hasook fulfills his clarinetist destiny. We get the most ambiguous ending everrrrr.

You know, after going back through this whole season, I’m realizing that there were a lot of flaws with Book 4. A lot. It’s not to the point where I feel this episode ranking as second highest is unearned, but it is making really wonder about “what would this have looked like had Bryke been given more time?”

The thing is, with this episode, the emotional beats are nearly perfect for Korra. And that’s really what matters, given that the show is...well...the legend of *her*. Even for most other characters, this conclusion was (dare I say it?) dramatically satisfying. Thematically satisfying, too.

But at the same time, what didn’t work is only more and more glaring with each revisit, and especially after thinking through it.

Kuvira is probably the hardest character to reconcile, because she’s the primary antagonist, and yet up until Korra dropped the “oh you’re an orphan” truth-bomb that explained ~~all~~ of Kuvira’s actions, there was every indication that her guiding motivation was much more about her perceived rejection by Suyin, or a desperation to prove her wrong, or a mentor’s fall from grace when an inherent hypocrisy was shown...

Honestly, from just the perspective of Kuvira’s arc, dismissing everything as “you were sad about your parents (who you never talked about once) leaving you with the creepy thought-policing matriarch and you didn’t want to ditch the EK in the same way” is almost insulting. Kuvira like...made compelling points in the Suyin-filtered flashback about why Su should accept Raiko and Tenzin’s offer, and it seemed to be coming from a place of pure pragmatism, not compensation for abandonment or a way of gaining control. Actually, she framed it about sharing prosperity:

Kuvira: Suyin, I know this isn't my place, but I think you should do this. Zaofu has always been a beacon of modern progress, and now you can share that with everyone.

Suyin: What would you have me do? March into Ba Sing Se with an army? We'd be seen as conquerors and greeted with nothing but war.

Kuvira: There are already wars. The Earth Queen nearly destroyed our nation. This is our opportunity to change things.

Also, fun fact: Suyin didn’t even tell Korra that Kuvira was an orphan; she barely even implied it.

Korra: How did things get so bad between you and Kuvira? I thought she was your protégé.

Suyin: She was more than that. She was like a daughter to me. I took her in when she was eight years old and nourished her talents. Kuvira was smart, a natural leader, and quickly rose through the ranks. I saw myself in her.

Like, this could have meant anything. Maybe she took her into her School of Metalbending Dancing and Narcissism. Maybe this is a nitpick, but it just amuses me if there was some version of this scene where Korra is like “it must have been so hard being an orphan,” and Kuvira goes, “...wtf my parents are FINE.”

Back the main point here, the difficulty in parsing out Kuvira’s guiding motivations and meaning of her own arc is not made better by the fact that her political position and military campaign were incredibly poorly defined. This is nothing new for Bryke, but with regard to this episode specifically, there’s still the question of why Kuvira was even interested in reclaiming UR land when she was supposedly just a technocrat that opposed the Earth Queen’s unjust rule, and had spent a painstaking amount of time laying down tracks to connect the two nations in what seemed like a cooperative measure and to truly bring the EK up to speed with the rest of the world. Was storming Republic City always her plan? Would she have been able to without the super laser that she didn’t know was being invented (Varrick was just looking for clean energy, remember)? After successfully taking Republic City, was she going to lock up every citizen there not of EK origin?

The general idea is that she was supposed to be earnestly committed to restoring stability in the Earth Kingdom, while also pushing forth innovation, and that when Korra pointed out how horrible and out-of-balance she was, it was a comeuppance and reality slap. I guess in this respect, the broader strokes make sense, but then there was so much that seemed so personally motivated, like...everything to do with Zaofu (she even made a point of saying “when I return I’ll be greeted with open arms), and then wrecking all of Republic City.

Even ignoring motivations, there’s logistics, because Kuvira’s disappearing army (and the disappearing United Forces) was still very much evident here, especially since mecha tank officers came clomping back into view at the end, and she needed to instruct them to stand-down. It kind of makes me giggle to think that Varrick powered down these suits, and the morons just lay on the ground helplessly until they were up and running again. But there were also all those ground troops and shit, so...

Oh yeah, and Raiko formally surrendered. There should have been an entire platoon sent to the island as soon as Kuvira realized Baatar had been captured while traveling there.

None of this is a specific issue to “The Last Stand,” but it does make the resolution feel a little...convenient. As though all these things were just dismissed and swept under the rug. This is best exemplified in Suyin’s line as a response to Kuvira’s apology, where she goes, “you’re going to answer for everything you’ve done!” Like, that didn’t even follow what Kuvira had said! Though there’s also a chance that this was a place-holder line they never bothered to change (or ran out of time to change). It’s not the only one with this vibe.

At the end of the day, Kuvira worked fine for Korra. But the way she had been scripted herself, there was really no telling how she’d react to a given situation until after the fact. I could have seen her, stirring from the rubble, having the same exact spirit world conversation with Korra, rather than running away to find Chekhov’s very literal gun. She trashed an entire fucking city and nearly died already just with Mega Maid’s explosion, after all.

Most of the other challenges of this episode have to do with the wrap party, because it was pretty clear that Bryke had a case of “we have X minutes to conclude all of this.” Enter bizarre conversation after bizarre conversation.

It’s not exactly a secret that I’m currently writing on a fic that tries to make sense of “why the hell does this wedding feel as though it is simultaneously the day after the fight, and two months down the road?” Word of God is that the wedding is 2 weeks later, which may or may not have been made up by Mike on the spot. But it’s just all so wonky. Korra is acting as though she hasn’t talked to anyone, Wu and Mako certainly haven’t seen each other since the evacuation, Tenzin only just talked to Raiko, and yet Zhurrick planned an entire wedding and somehow world leaders were able to travel to the still utterly destroyed city to enjoy it.

It’s WONKY, I’m telling you. The worst case offender?

This is a terrible fucking idea. I get that it’s a Y7 American show and we have to be pro ~~democracy~~ as a general concept, but the logistics behind it make no sense. I suppose in the context of Wu’s arc, him stepping aside because he doesn’t feel qualified is fitting. Granted, I thought the whole “you were calm during the evacuation and also badger moles like you” stuff was to show how he does have leadership potential, so long as he plays to his strengths and allows those more informed than him to take the lead on other matters. But I suppose we can say it was part of a bigger picture: Wu learning to be less of an entitled asshole. He pushed himself and stepped up when the world needed him to, but in the end “sometimes a good evacuation is its own reward.” Nice.

Now go and create a horrible panic by tossing the EK’s political and legal structures out the window!

The Mako/Korra conversation was a very nice endcap to Mako’s season-long arc, and the series long relationship between these two characters. They were incompatible as romantic partners, but Mako found meaning in their platonic friendship, looking to Korra as inspiration to be more selfless. It’s just nice. And it’s nice to see exes being nice and not jealous or still hurt or pining or whatnot. Nice.

That said, Wu’s role in Mako’s arc is a headscratcher. Mako definitely had an influence on him, but the other way around...I’ve got nothin’. Unless we consider Wuko a possibility, because IT IS THERE, DAMNIT. Except, I really don’t think Bryke meant for it to be there. Which means that Mako played a bit more of a supporting role for Wu than the other way around. Wu had diddly squat to do with Mako feeling inspired and self-sacrificial...that was a decision Mako reached inside Mega Maid as a result of watching a clip show about his relationship with Korra.

And yeah, let’s actually talk about that moment, because it was probably the second most emotional point of the episode. For those who don’t know, it’s also the point where I realized, at 5:50 in the morning, that I was going to start bawling in the middle of Planet Fitness if I stayed, so I cut that short and went home to finish out the episode.

It was touching, even if Bolin’s “This isn't the time to prove how awesome you are. I already know how awesome you are... you're awesome.” lines were incredibly odd. However... Looking back, this was probably the dumbest thing Mako could have done in this moment.

The weapon was disabled (he knew Su and Lin were taking care of that), and Korra was in the “head” having a fight to the death. There was no pressing need to power down Mega Maid at that point (Kuvira initiated lockdown as soon as they got in, actually), and the only thing he knew was that he could probably get it to explode. With everyone still inside. All things considered, how Mako didn’t just kill everyone inside the tank is beyond me. How Mako didn’t die is equally beyond me, cause dude got shot squarely in the chest. I mean yes, Bolin came back for him (where did he even dump the other bodies? The legs?), but Mako has a heart and stuff.

I don’t want to detract from the message of “Mako is an incredibly selfless hero,” but the logistics get in the way. It’s like Bryke wanted him to have this moment, but they didn’t take the time to figure out a realistic way it could unfold, so it just happened. Which is jarring, especially since this immediately followed Hiroshi’s sacrifice from the previous episode. Snaps for Mako, but 10 points from Brykendor for the contrivance.

Also as a side note: poor Bolin, this episode. I mean yes, he’s in a good place, and he got to marry Zhurrick (I can confirm: officiating a wedding is mad fun), but the dude didn’t even get a Conversation of Significance with anyone. Needless to say I’m going to be fixing that with my final chapter...

Let’s just round out the Krew then and discuss Asami. And I 👏👏don’t👏👏fucking👏👏know👏👏 what to do with her.

I mean, you know what Asami means to me as a character at this point. And Korrasami. But going back through and watching this season, there’s a few things that are blindingly clear.

1. The scripting is bizarre. Not just for Asami—across the board. There are lines that feel outright unedited. For instance:

“When the queen fell, and everyone was asking you to help keep the Earth Kingdom from falling apart, all you wanted to do was hide in Zaofu, and let others deal with the consequences.”

It’s not as though lines like that don’t work, but it’s the kind of thing where if that were in fic I was beta-reading, I’d highlight “fell” and “falling” so the author would know to take out one of the repetitive phrases.

For characters with a lot of lines, the lack of polish can be overlooked, for the most part. For Asami, who had an incredibly limited screen presence during Book 4, things stick out.

2. Seychelle Gabriel’s voice acting was...different. It wasn’t bad, but some of her lines had a certain stilted quality to them. I’ve actually noticed that with just about every character in Book 4 that wasn’t Varrick or Bolin (that’s just John Michael Higgins and PJ Byrne falling back on their comedic chops), with a big exception in Korra. I sort of think Janet Varney didn’t settle into a consistent voice for her *until* Book 4, but that’s a whole other story, and yes, deeply subjective.

The best example I can point to for Gabriel is the way she delivers, “Thank you. I'm just glad I was able to forgive him.” It just had this awkwardness about it, and a good thing too, since I’m 95% certain that’s what spawned @progmanx’s entire fic, as well as my own views on her characterization (oh hey, we’re of one mind with that).

3. There really could have been more to Korrasami. Even with Russian TV restrictions. But I already talked about in my “Reunion” piece, so I won’t rehash here.

4. Asami’s scripting was pure *convenience*. I touch on it here for “Enemy at the Gates” and here for “Day of Colossus.” But it’s not really hard to recap.

Asami needs to open the lines of communication to her dad, so she does, and it is wonderfully, realistically hard on her. Then in a ridiculous scene, she spots a happy father and daughter, and decides she wants to work to forgive the man who tried to fucking kill her. We can assume she’s feeling conflicted about it because she snaps at Korra over it, but really, we have to just assume, because this shit is never talked about on-screen. Then Hiroshi pops in to save the day with his oddly specific technical knowledge of stuff he wasn’t working on. Then Asami tells him that she loves him before they go into a flying mecha suit to battle potentially to the death, and then Hiroshi dies.

And yes, I’ve talked a lot about what an internal character Asami is, so it would have just been odd if she suddenly started expositing on why she was feeling the way she did, but at the same time... When *did* she decide to forgive him? Was it just because he was willing to save the city? Does she even know if he’s changed his opinion of benders, or if he just regrets not having her in her life? Does she regret not seeing him sooner? Did she ever READ THOSE DAMN LETTERS?

So for her to sit her ass down next to Korra and say that she’s super sad but glad she forgave him... Well yeah, of course she’s sad. But she’d probably also be confused and conflicted and angry and guilty and a million other things just by how inherently fucked up this situation is. The last time she and her dad were in a mecha suit at the same time, he TRIED TO KILL HER. This isn’t hyperbole. He also saved the city from being destroyed *this time*, despite being the man who bombed it before. You see what I’m saying???

I think this is coming at a bad time, because I am working over and beyond to make sense of Asami’s headspace during this specific point in the story right now with ‘Half the Pieces’. I even gave her and Hiroshi another pai sho match so they could talk this shit over, and am kind of getting at the idea of her forgiving him as more of like, she really wants to have forgiven him and to have that closure after three years of incredible pain relating to him. But for what we got on our screens, it feels rushed, there’s just no other way around it. Rushed and simplified.

The most frustrating thing about Asami’s character is her wasted potential—the way they could have been using her as a foil to Korra so much sooner, the way her unique position as an industrialist went largely untouched, the way there is so much packed into her and given a little space, she will come and wallop you with a bag of feels (“you tainted our past and destroyed our future together”).

Yes, she’s in a support role, and I’m not advocating her being foregrounded over anyone else on the Krew, and certainly not over Tenzin. But keep in mind, this was the season that gave a very complete and detailed arc to Varrick and Wu, while also pushing Kuvira & the Beifong Family Drama as the main tension. So excuse me for just a little annoyance with what could have been.

What *was* for Asami here was...fine. It’s not like I can’t remember what her conversation with Korra felt like the first time, or how could it felt that for once in her craptastic life, she was getting to be happy for a little. And for Korra too, realizing she had been disconnected for too long, realizing through her letters and the distance that she was in love, realizing she can take time for herself—it just all made for a beautiful moment, even if I do think that it felt a tad clipped. Given how much ground Bryke needed to cover here, it’s not shocking.

As a last note before I get to Korra and begin explaining why this episode is #2, I want to briefly touch on Tenzin. He was simply not a major player in this season, and I guess that’s fine. His relationship to Korra was in focus for Book 2, with her becoming *her own Avatar* at the end, and then his relationship to his daughter and the Air Nation at large was Book 3. I don’t feel like anything was incomplete with Tenzin here on a larger scale, though it was a notable decision. I wonder if Book 4 had been given another pass, would there have been a more imaginative way to utilize his character?

I think that may have detracted from the impact of his final conversation with Korra, too. Or maybe that’s why it almost felt like it had bizarrely romantic undertones for a second, because it was hard to have a handle on where *they* were at with how they related to each other. Also he said the phrase “big bumpy ride” so...

And that conversation was the most, “let’s wrap up this Y7 show yup yup” that fell victim to extremely unfortunate wording. The idea was to show that Korra had found meaning in what she had been through, harkening back to Katara’s remark that Aang “chose to find meaning in his suffering and eventually found peace.” What Katara did not say was that Aang NEEDED TO EXPERIENCE THE GENOCIDE TO FIND PEACE. Because who the hell would say something like that.

There are negative implications of Korra saying she “needed” to suffer to be more compassionate, especially since compassion was never a department she was lacking in before. However, as a result of what she went through her approaches to situations did change, and her “go-to” mode of operation, altered. We saw her trying to fight against the “old me” in Zaofu, and that was simply ineffective. In this final chapter, we saw her take action as she needed to, only to finally talk the antagonist down in the end. It wasn’t an increase in compassion, but it was a result of her empathizing over the fear of being vulnerable—a fear we’ve seen Korra struggle with since the start.

“I may not have been an orphan, but believe me, I understand what it feels like to be afraid. [Sits down so she is at eye level with Kuvira.] After I was poisoned, I would have done anything to feel in control.”

Look, there’s a wonderful narrative here, and it just...fell over itself on the way to our screens, and that’s unfortunate. Because it would have required so little to fix.

If you’ll allow myself and @progmanx to be hubristic here, we actually did rewrite this for my upcoming chapter (not finalized yet, but it will be something along these lines):

“I know I was in a pretty dark place after I was poisoned; all I wanted to do was feel like myself again. And I think it took seeing Kuvira being so angry and scared of letting everyone down, just like I used to be, for me to finally realize what I already knew: I can never just go back and to being that person again, and I don’t want to be. I’ve seen now what fear can do and what it can drive people to...what it drove me to do, even if it didn’t hurt as many people. That’s a part of me, and there’s no undoing it. I don’t think I want to undo it, either. Your mom told me that Aang found meaning in his suffering. I guess if I’ve found mine, that’s it. We’re all afraid sometimes, but that doesn’t make us weak. In fact, it’s what makes us stronger.”

It’s almost as if I like A Song of Ice and Fire, or something.

Would a more diverse writers’ room have resulted in a different end line? Who can say. But this at least demonstrates why a diversity of voices and a willingness to think through the implications (something Bryke aren’t incapable of) is helpful.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that #1 on this list is going to be “Korra Alone.” So I’m going to save fully gushing about Korra’s healing arc there.

But what I will say is that “The Last Stand” brought the series to a thematically apt, and rather uplifting conclusion. The season was about balance, but you could just as easily say that the series was too. This also tapped into “light in the dark,” only Book 4 took the time to explore that darkness rather than blow by it.

Seeing Korra so...at peace, was truly remarkable. We’ve seen her so insecure at many points in the series, and it really was just heartening to watch her be so decisive, so proactive, and also so *effective*, even if that meant switching approaches on the fly or, idk, leaping in front of a giant cannon and ripping open a hole in the universe and by doing so being so impressive that there was an instantly humbling effect on the megalomaniacal dictator to the point where Korra was able to talk her down with words alone.

It kind of makes me laugh, thinking of some of the Discourse™ as the finale ended: that Korra was “neutered” or “tamed.” Yeah those are great adjectives to attach to someone who threw themselves in front of a firing spirit cannon on an instinct. What we saw is a deeply matured and strategic Korra.

Remember, she was the over-eager hero who was told that the world didn’t need her. Her narrative was never going to be “I saved the day therefore I am,” but rather “Who am I when I’m not saving the day, and does that matter?”

Yes.

As for Korra, the world’s most powerful bender/spiritual leader of the masses/ with her ancient wisdom and sheltered upbringing ending up with the wealthy nonbending driver of modern innovation from the world’s biggest metropolis, well... that’s just the perfect endcap to the all-subtle balance theme. Nice.

Edit: 4/11/2017:

This entire piece wound up a little more focused on negatives than I wanted, so please read this reblog commentary for clarification/a few more notes on what was really great here.

#13: 4x08 “Remembrances”

#12: 4x11 “Kuvira’s Gambit”

#11: 4x09 “Beyond the Wilds”

#10: 4x07 “Reunion”

#9: 4x06 The “Battle of Zaofu”

#8. 4x12 “Day of Colossus”

#7 4x01 “After All These Years”

#6 4x03 “The Coronation”

#5 4x04 “The Calling”

#4 4x05 “Enemy at the Gates”

#3 4x10 “Operation Beifong”

Book 2 ranking/essays found here

#lok meta #korra #korra 4x13 #the last stand #book 4 ranking

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lrosenthal11 · 8 years

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Here's to my start at @CollegeIsMyLife <3

Hi!! ♌

My name is Laurunce Rosenthal and this is my first blog for my new job ayeeee. We have a loootttttt to cover so here we go. Wow I don’t think anyone, including myself, is ready for what’s about to be written. Here we fuckin go.

Okay let’s start from the start. I’m Laurunce, some know me as LJ some Laurunce, some call me names they make up like Lauren or Lawrence or LG or even shit like TJ like idk where we getting these letters from…but anyway that is me. I’m Laurunce. And you’ve probably never heard the name Laurunce before which is so lit for me because now I hope you never forget it. I’m the girl that’s going to make an impact on this world. Wanna know why? Because no one else is going to? “Oh LJ so many people are doing stuff for this world..” well my niqqa why aren’t you? Glad you just asked yourself that question I want you to ask yourself it again…and again… Ask yourself why you aren’t doing something for this world; some action to better this world. And if you are HELL YEAHHH glad you’re on the winning team. Now for people not doing anything positive for this world, or even worse doing stuff that NEGATIVELY IMPACTS our Earth, yuuuuuppp I’m calling you out bartards and litterers, and yep even you past LJ meanie gal. You were not a nice human in your past. Glad you woke up girl. Make some positive changes in this world people, we gotta do it not only for us, but for our children and grandchildren, and our grandchildren’s grandchildren. I’m doing this for you, my babies I hope to have. Obviously cannot predict the future, but my two beautiful baby girls, hopefully twins, if not the best of friend sisters: Summer Raine Rosenthal and Brooke Lynn Rosenthal. How cute omg cannot wait for these beautiful humans to enter the world Anyway back to start, we are going to stray off track a lot I feel like but it’s worth it to me because my ideas are all over the place but begging and pleading to be put onto this page, which will then transfer to your brains. This is my literal thought process running like a wild lion (where my Leos at?) through my brain, and leaving my fingertips to be available for your eyes to read and your soul to listen to. These are my lyrics on some platform, somewhere, wherever you are. And wherever you are I hope you are at home and at peace, because you are your own home. “You can’t make homes out of human beings, someone should have already told you that.” – Warsan Shire (my twitter bio for idk maybe the past 4 years), and as Porter Robinson said at the event that sparked this enlightenment of my soul, #OkeechobeeMusicFestival2017, “Every place you’ve ever imagined, it’s real. There is a fictional city in your mind and you know every corner of it. Your mind is a world, each of us is a place.” Do you understand why music is my new favorite drug? Lyrics and beats SPEAK TO ME.

How did this change all occur??? Well, I microdosed on LSD (microdosing is where you cut of a liiiitle piece and take that instead of dropping the whole tab) and my eyes were opened to the effects of drugs and how they can hinder such beautiful people and decided that is not the path I wish to be on anymore. If I can enjoy life without all the drugs and other influences I was under, why do I NEED them? That is not to say I am going to stop cold turkey, but I now know and trust my limits. I was addicted to this fake feeling of satisfaction for however long my high lasted. Now I truthfully am high on life. I could sit here and type forever about the changes I am making in my life, but I will just show you all, and show myself, because it’s kinda counterproductive to brag (#NOMORENEGATIVITY) and try to explain how amazing it is to finally be happy in my own skin and with a new cleansed and refreshed soul. It’s the flesh I will be in for the rest of my years on this planet, so I should prob get comfy in it, and I encourage you to do the same, get comfy peeps it’s going to be a nice journey. And I am not here to scold you, because who am I to try and control your life, and who are you to try and control mine? I needed to take a drug to realize I don’t need them. I DROPPED a tab (tab = the acid for my family right now reading this going ‘huhhhh what’s a tab??!!!’) Anyway, I DROPPED a drug to realize I could DROP drugs, ahhhhh finally a big part of my life, “Double Entendre” which I hope to call this blog/the book I am going to write. There will be many of those DEs throughout this new blog. Wow I am excited. If you are reading this and it touches you in any way please share. I am just a New York girl trying to be successful, and there are many cliché stories like that, but who is to say I can’t be one of those cliché stories too? They usually have really awesome endings.

So what am I going to do with this blog platform? I am going to change the world. Don’t believe me? Watch me. THE ONLY PERSONEVER STOPPING YOU, IS YOU. And I believe that about myself. At Okeechobee, a woman who looked JUST like my older sister Janeen, (Janeen you are one of my heroes, this one’s for you) approached me and said to me, “Watch who you hang out with.” and proceeded on her way. You will see throughout my blog I believe in Her, She, The Universe. She is Us it’s so weird and hard to explain but I’ll try…She is not a religion, She is not something we have to go praise every Sunday, or someone who we have to fear, She is within and among us, trying to guide us on our life’s journey so we can experience all the necessary experiences we have to go through in order to become our true selves. I believe in Astrology a crazy amount, and I’m no expert, but I am learning. And I believe She chose me to be a Leo, Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio for a reason. (Find your Natal Chart here, it will unlock so many secrets to your life. It very well may be exactly what you need to read in your life right now to start your enlightenment, http://astro.cafeastrology.com/natal.php. ) If you look up my signs you will learn a lot about me, which if you aren’t interested you don’t obviously have to but you’ll learn more about me than you could imagine. Here’s a video (https://youtu.be/ymmq1E37sJQ?list=PLGn9j5IRilElxuRGQz0Voy7JEHF9nQOqZ) that literally is so scary spot on I laughed at Her because she has a humorous side I’m so serious. Anyway go look up your info wait lemme get this out first, most of us will be adults reading this…remember no one can tell you what to do but you. Others can influence your decision, but no one can MAKE you do anything. And if someone FORCES you to do something…drop that human out of your life, they have no place in it. That is what I did and look at me now. I listened to the woman in the #BOSS hat at Okeechobee, (she was on the security team not just some random) and holy shit did she remind me of my sister. I let her influence my decisions, and I reevaluated what I was doing with my nights and who I was spending it with. I will always have so much love for the people in my past, and I’m so grateful for all the lessons they have taught me, but some people just don’t have a place in my life anymore. I refuse to let anyone hold me back from pursuing my dreams. Please let these resonate, “BE FEARLESS IN THE PURSUIT OF WHAT SETS YOUR SOUL ON FIRE.” That is exactly what I am here doing, and I encourage you to do the same. That was my senior quote and I am realizing that She has guided me to do many things in my life (that She is still revealing it’s so dope) that have led me to exactly where I am, the happiest I have ever been while on this Earth. That quote was my senior quote, and at the time of choosing that quote I had so many others I was going to pick. (Thank you Universe and Margaret Grace for helping w the selection, YOU ARE MY PERSON. The Meredith to my Christina dude. More like my Froggies Windman to my F’real Pumpkin Cheesecake milkshake let’s be real here, omg I miss you my bff of how long…like 13 years lmao. I love you.) Can you believe I chose that one, and that it has fueled me to where I am today… Florida State University-the best school everrrrr, a working gal-just got hired to do what I love to do, spread positivity and write from the soul, and happy- something I have been striving for my whole life. Once you realize you are the only one in your own way you realize you can break the barricade and dance wild to the beat of your own journey. AHHH LIFE IS SO GOOD I’M SMILING WRITING THIS AHHHHH.

On to another thing I am going to do with this blog, I have decided to take the initiative of #MAKINGFSUKINDAGAIN. Yes, boys and girls, or rather men and women since we should start to realize this is the beginning of our adult lives (let’s wake up and smell the roses people have your priorities right), and we need to start acting a little more like adults. I have taken it upon myself to start this trend and I won’t stop until FSU IS KIND AGAIN. And the best part is, once FSU is kind again, I’ll choose my next target audience (hello Mr. Solomon your class rocks and Advertising is definitely a part of my career path in the future. S/O to target audience, a term I learned in your class). But yes I have dreams of a world at peace filled with love and kindness and happy humans and pretty flowers and GOOD FUCKING MUSIC THANK GOODNESS. So how am I going to do this…? Lemme tell ya… I am going to pick up as many pieces of trash I see around campus hoping others see me and are inspired to do the same. I am going to spread the light I have within me everywhere and brighten others’ lives as much as humanly possible. Along with my light comes my positive vibes I believe myself to bring around, and if my positivity is bothering you, I hope you take a step back and realize POSITIVITY IS CAUSING YOU DISTRESS. CHANGE THAT.

Anyways, I have a quick story and I hope you all listen up because you may be my next target (*insert Dracula laugh* harharhar) . I go to a school with a lot of frat boys and sorority gals. Greek life is huge here at FSU and that has many pros and many cons but that’s beside the point. Anyway, I don’t want my school to get in trouble so I won’t mention whatever group(?) these people are associated with, and I will be using different names. But pay attention to the first letters because I am a detail-oriented woman and you all will see that. ANYWAY story time, yesterday I went to a bar for Happy Hour (best day I love happy hour how you gonna be MAD at HAPPY hour lmk) and at HH I went to the clambox of a bar that FSU students will know exactly what bar I am talking about. At this bar a mean kid, let us call him AA because remember what I said earlier, this one’s even more specific but still so vague I love it..nevertheless, AA was A DOUUUUCHHHHEEEEEEE to me. We were at the bar and he would lower his glasses and say some rude shit. He fucking asked me if I was a prostitute like multiple times…. ME, LJ, a new woman of integrity, he asked me that. I was in a killer outfit too like it was honestly modest af and that bothers me even more because his comment wasn’t even relevant. Anyway, he was a douchebag stereotypical “frat boy” which has a negative connotation but wanna know why it has that connotation……. BECAUSE OF BOYS LIKE AA!!!!!!! So yeah he was so mean and so rude and here we go baby… Remember what I told you AA, you probably don’t because you black out every opportunity you get which is gross because you’re a senior with no goals and I’m not judging you I am spitting facts right now (Scorpio in me coming out oh boy) but yeah you need to WAKE.THE.FUCK.UP BOIIIIII because you will never get a job or a respectable woman in your life if you continue these habits. But anyway, do you remember what I told you, no?, okay I gotchu. I said these words right to your mean little face I said, “You’re fucking with the wrong girl.” And guess what everyone, I am a woman of my word so yaaaaaa AA, watch the fuck out who you’re fucking with because I’LL ROAST YOUR ASS IN MY NEW BLOG THAT’S GOING TO MAKE ME FAMOUS YAAA YEEEET BOIIII. And in all seriousness AA, I really do hope you wake up and change (omg Aquarius Rising LJ coming out [just googled Aquarius Rising Woman and found this on the link I put above “our personal destiny and soul function is ultimately related to the impulses toward progressive change, experimentation and innovative, creative thinking which reside in the collective psyche of your generation. You are a conduit for change, for awakening new thought.”] …. Holy shit like lmk if astrology isn’t real…kk wake up it is). But seriously AA, awaken your soul my dude, you’re in my favorite frat, one I hope to be the first GDI gal to be Sweetheart for, and you’re giving my boys a bad name. Don’t black every time you go out, get happy drunk, and don’t be mean to women or anyone while we are at it, be niceeeee and pretty gals like me and all other gals who start with beauty from the inside will be attracted to you, we are the kind of girls you actually want to be with.

So yeah, here we go, here is my blog, here is my soul on my sleeve, and I’m super excited to feature my friends and the stories I acquire on my journey, and I can’t wait to instill some positivity into the lives of the people around me and all the people who will see this because SHARESHARESHARE my friends!!!!! If you are my friend, or consider yourself my friend, or have spoken to me, or if I in any way have impacted your life, I am asking you please please share. I am ready to start my life, to put myself out there, and with your help I can. I plan to engulf everything on my path with the fire within me (FIRE SIGNSSSS WYAAAA) and I am ready to do that NOW. If not now….WHEN? Now that I have my attitude chosen, how I go about the next seconds/minutes/hours/days/months/years is what really matters. I am only 18 years of age, I am bound to make mistakes, hella mistakes, but if I’m starting at 18, where will I be at 19? I am ready to push my limits in success and respect my limits in life. That’s why I started this blog, so that it’s not a book just yet, so it won’t take as long to write (patience is a virtue which I am learning, but in the meantime, I’m not going to wait around when I can do something about my life). One of my new mottos is “Don’t complain about it if you aren’t doing anything about it.” Well Hi, I am Laurunce Rae (yupp no J we’ll get to that in another blog) Rosenthal and this is me doing something. I have confidence in myself and the people I have met on my journey, whether it be me just flashing you a smile or actually having touched your heart. Maybe I’ve improved your mood one day, or you were a victim of one of my random stranger conversations. I am grateful for the people I have met and the places I have seen, and now I am ready to expand my horizons even more, see new lands meet new peeps. I hope you will join me on my journey. Spread the love my people and, of course, BE FEARLESS IN THE PURSUIT OF WHAT SETS YOUR SOUL ON FIRE.

Another thing before I end, Daddy, Mark Rosenthal, my huuuuummaaannnn. I adore you, you literally keep me going every.single.day. You are the funniest, most diligent, most resourceful, most reliable human in my life and I cannot wait to make you so so proud with what I do with my life. No one will ever top you my dude. NO ONE. I will never forget where I came from (peep the new back tattoo peeps, ROSENTHAL BABY… REMEMBER THAT NAME.) and I cannot wait to see where She leads me.

With so so so so much love,

Laurunce LJ Rosenthal ♌

#LROSENTHAL11 #DOUBLEENTENDRE

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oliviajthoughts · 7 years

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12.31.17

As the year of 2017 comes to an end, I have came to a conclusion about Rachael Richmond.

The old saying that goes something along the lines of “friends come and go, but family is for forever” is just for actual functioning families. My mother will never change who she is, and I just have to accept it. I know I’ve said this time and time again, but every time I did say it, I had a little bit of hope left in me, thinking that one day, we will be close, there will never be any hatred or resentment or uncomfortableness between the two of us and we will have a healthy mother and daughter relationship. After all, she is my own flesh and blood. But now that I’m 22 years old, and nothing has changed since I was a child, I realize that this is who she is. I shouldn’t have had to grow up begging for a relationship with my own mother, I shouldn’t have been left up at night crying, wondering why she doesn’t love me, why she hates me so much, what am I doing wrong... etc. I shouldn’t have had to be embarrassed to bring friends around because of how my mom always made everyone in the room feel uncomfortable and in such a hostile environment. I shouldn’t have always thought, why am I not important? Why am I not significant? Why am I unable to talk to my own mother about every day problems that most girls grow up with, that most girls are able to sit down and talk with their mother about, and they get to leave the conversation feeling emotionally secure and stable. I should have had that. And I grew up thinking because I didn’t, that it was my fault. Mostly because my mother projected those thoughts into my own head so much that I began to believe them. Once I started high school, I took my anger and resentment that I had for my mother out on those who were around me. I was snotty, bratty and mean to anyone who rubbed me the wrong way because I had so much anger built up inside of me that I could explode at any slight inconvenience. Because heaven forbid I get to speak my mind in my own “home” (which never really felt like a home). Once I got old enough to be in relationships, I unintentionally projected those feelings onto my partners. I was deprived from love and affection at a young age by my mother, so I always felt the need to have affirmation and an overwhelming amount of love from whomever I was dating in order to really feel like I was cared about. Just because that’s what my mind was trained to do. I needed that love from someone, because my mom lacked in that area so crucially that I needed to soak up every bit of it. I even loathed in it from strangers. I needed this love so badly, that I was willing to stay in toxic relationships where I was being mentally abused and cheated on, so long as they kept telling me what I needed to hear. “I love you” and “I’m sorry” was all I needed in order to stay. And quite honestly, even if I didn’t hear it, I would’ve stayed anyways, because my unhealthy emotional attachment would never let me walk away from someone I already latched myself onto. Having this mindset, I believe I lost myself, and never really got to find who I am deep down inside. I used to be light hearted, always smiling, positive, cheery, outgoing, and confident. But as the years went by, that was taken from me. I was never taught how to love myself, I was never taught how to love others. I only learned what I saw, and that was just self hate, projection onto others, loathing in depression, angry thoughts, emotional build up, and self esteem issues. And what made it even worse, is the fact that my mom never let anyone see who she really was outside of our relationship. Behind the walls of the prison she called our home, was where she broke me down, every single day, for years and years. But outside to the public, she was always smiling, cracking jokes, and loving. She made me feel like I was imagining it all. How could someone that everyone loved to be around, be so cruel to me? Anytime I brought up something she did, people would assume that I was over exaggerating, or that I was making it up. Or maybe I did something to push her to act that way. It made me feel crazy. That I was in this world alone. I had no one to talk to about it, no way of getting this emotional toll out, I just lived with it everyday while it slowly ate me alive inside. I became depressed. My outgoing, confident personality became shy and quiet. Some people would say I’m still outgoing but it’s nothing compared to how I used to be. My mind is conditioned to just keep everything to myself, otherwise if I don’t, then I’ll say something that’s wrong. I’m always doing or saying something that’s wrong or not good enough. One of my biggest fears is growing up like my mother. I never, ever, everrrrr want my children or anyone for that matter feeling how I felt growing up. I want my children to look at me and trust me, feel secure and safe with me, and be free to be themselves. I’m conditioned to think I’m a failure with everything I do, so because of that, I stopped trying. With everything. With school, with driving, with getting my own place, I just stopped trying because I think that I’ll never do or be anything. I will never be successful. But, with this mindset, I’m only limiting myself and I’ll be stuck in this mentality for the rest of my life. For the sake of my future self, my life, my girlfriend (hopefully future wife) and my children, I have to do better and be better. I cannot carry on this tradition to the next generation. I have to have the strength to push through any obstacles that come my way despite those who are rooting for me to fail. Problems will arise, but that’s life, I just have to always remember to focus on myself and my well-being in order to maintain a happy life. I don’t care if I’m wealthy, or what my house or car looks like... As long as I am happy and healthy, that’s all that matters to me. And one day, I will get there. And this will all just be a story from the past. I may not have had a great up bringing my mother, but that won’t stop me from walking down the path that God chose for me. And that is my promise to myself, my new years resolution, going forward.

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