#let me go through this person thg tag

[hijacked-victor]

anyone else have an existential crisis over your tags on reblogs?

like ive been organizing my tags for years and I'm like

for what?

[wonderlandwalker]

He Knows Better | Finnick Odair x Reader

THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox

Summary: Finnick tells himself not to get close to you, because what is the point? But when you survive your games he finds that he can't stop thinking about you. When he finally comes to see you, you're in pieces, and he swears to himself he will put you back together, no matter the costs. Find part 2 here: Should've Known

Content Warnings/Tags: Mentions of prostitution/sex trafficking, angst, Finnick deserving better, crying, bad representation of a panic attack, not proofread

Word Count: 1.6k

Requested by Anon: I loveeeee love love love your Finnick fic. It was the perfect mix of sweet and so angstyyyyy !! I'm having constant Finnick brainrot 😭 I was wondering what you think about writing a finnick × reader fic sort of loosely based on Hozier's "It Will Come Back" where reader is maybe a tribute or another Victor and the first person to show Finnick softness and kindness without asking for anything in return in so long and he's like "dont let me in with no intention to keep me" and "dont be kind to me" and he just is totally feral and obsessed with the reader ? You're such a talented writer !! ❤️❤️❤️

A/N: There is this Dutch expression which goes ‘the monkey comes out of the sleeve’ loosely meaning the hidden meaning is revealed and I couldn't for the life of me think of the English equivalent that made sense to me, so, well, I hope the story is coherent. As usual, divider by @saradika

He remembers first seeing you, you were so young, but to be fair, so was he. In previous years he had always become quick friends with the tributes he was supposed to mentor, how could he not? But it didn't take him long to figure out that they never made it back, and while the company was nice for a while, the hurt in the end wasn't worth it anymore. There's something about you that he can't quite place, but it doesn't matter, because he's not going to get attached. When you first stepped into the training hall you didn't look scared, you didn't even look excited, no, you looked like you had made peace. 

He didn't get to talk to you much, you spend most of your training with Mags, not learning how to fight, but learning how to survive. And every time he watched you, he watched how your eyes lit up when learned how to filter water, he watched how proud Mags was of you each time. And he felt something tugging at him, he felt a need to get to know you. But he knew better.

Because what were the odds, he had seen this before, he had done this before. No, he shouldn't get attached to you. And yet, for the first time after returning from his own, he found himself watching the games. Watching the tributes become fewer and fewer, hoping, praying, that you'd make it through. The fewer left the more desperate he became. You've gotten this far, don't let the luck run out just yet. He saw how your last opponent fell, and he saw your face in the centre of the screen, of virtually every screen. And once again, you didn't look excited, you looked like you had found peace again, and maybe, just maybe, he let himself believe he could too, that you could show him. 

He didn’t go see you after, it wouldn't be of any use. What more did he have to offer you, you did not need a mentor anymore. He had made peace, he had made peace with never seeing you again. So what was the difference if you were alive or not? That's what he thought, if he gave in now, he didn't think he'd ever be able to let go, it would keep coming back. 

It wasn't until a few months later when someone knocked on his door, and in a sleepy haze, he opened it without thinking. He had spent the night at the capitol, and he never managed to get much rest after. Usually, when he had been gone for the night, Mags would come to check in on him, and have Valerian tea with him. He doubted it actually worked, but the effort was enough to brighten his day. So he opened the door, but it wasn't Mags, it was you. Your face was fuller, it had more colour, but the bags under your eyes were still there. Would Mags bring you Valerian tea as well? No, no he needed to stop thinking about you. The last time he had actually seen you was when you won. He had forced himself to avoid you ever since, he hadn't been completely sure why anymore, but now he knew again. The way you looked at him gave him hope, hope he couldn't afford. “What do you want” he asked, he sounded upset, and in a way he was, but the way the sparkle in your eyes dimmed made him regret it. 

And so he opened the door further, stepping aside, and you didn't need more of an invitation before you walked in. You took a seat at his small kitchen table, and he decided it would be impolite not to join you, so he sat down as well. He was about to talk, but you beat him to the punch.

“Snow came to see me.” There is was he thought, the reason, everyone always had a reason. Still, he found himself allowing you to continue, wanting to hear your voice again, even if it brought bad news. 

“I talked to Mags about it, but she said I should come see you, so here I am.” You chuckled, but the situation was not something that asked for it, must be nerves, he thought, but why were you nervous, surely he didn't make you nervous. 

“Look, I don’t want to bother you with my problems Finnick, I know you're dealing with enough yourself, but I don’t know what else to do.” Your eyes glossed over, and you looked like you were about to start crying, but you didn't. He wanted to say something, to comfort you, but what was there to say? And so you two sat in silence, he was looking at you, he was memorizing your face. This was the last time he would let himself see you. He didn't want to get close to you, and with how mesmerizing you were to him, he knew better.

And yet, as days passed, he found himself thinking of you. Whenever he needed comfort, he thought of you, the way you smiled at him when he told you a nervous joke. He could get lost in the memory of your eyes, and more often than not, he did. Every day he spent without seeing you made his heart hurt. 

Without thinking, he found himself walking to your door. It was like he wasn't in control of his own feet. He was in constant agony with himself. He wanted to be with you, but your kindness was one he couldn't afford, because it had the power to break him. He knocked on your door, not even aware he was doing so until he heard the sound echo back to him. He heard rustling, but he didn't hear you approaching the door, so he knocked again, and for good measure, he decided to call out. “Y/n? It’s me, it’s Finnick”. He heard someone approach the door at that, and a little bit of hope sparked inside him that you wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see you, but he knew better. 

The door opened, but it wasn't you that he came face to face with, it was Mags. She was standing in your hallway with a sad smile on her face, and she didn't say anything, but she looked to the stairs on the right end corner. He didn't need any more encouragement, and he sped up them, taking two steps at a time. He knocked on the door he was in front of, but there wasn't an answer. But when he listened more closely, he could hear crying coming from the other side. You were crying. His mind was reeling with possibilities, but whatever it was that had caused this, he swore to himself he would fix it, even if it broke him. 

And so he entered the room, opening the door softly so as not to startle you, but it didn't matter. He saw you in the corner, you had pulled your knees to your chest and he couldn't see your face from where you had hidden it, but his heart broke over it nonetheless. He walked towards you, testing the waters, testing his luck. He was scared for you, but mostly, he was scared you wouldn't want to see him. When you heard him, your head shot up to look at him. The way in which your eyes were bloodshot and swollen made him want to punch a hole in the wall next to you. The way your voice cracked when you said his name made him want to curl up right next to you. he got closer to you, kneeling down in front of you. Allowing you to take the next steps on your own time.

After a few minutes, you had slightly calmed down while he was tracing patterns on your knee with his thumb. You spoke to him, but you didn't look him in his eyes.

“They’re bidding on me Finnick, they’re bidding on me like I’m something to possess”

The feeling of dread that came over him was something he had never felt before. He thought he had gone through all someone could. He thought there was nothing that could hurt him anymore in a way he didn't already, but he had been wrong. 

He was willing to do anything for you to be spared from this, but he knew it wasn't any use. 

He knew better. And so he did all he could, taking you in his arms and whispering reassuring words, until your crying and your shaking stopped, and you seemed at peace again. 

He had tried himself to get away from what snow had wanted, what the capitol had wanted, he tried everything he could think of, but he couldn't get away from it. He had made peace with the fact that people always wanted something from him, and maybe that's why he couldn't get you out of his head, because you were the only person that was at peace with him, without anything more, just him. So he told you the only thing he could. He told you he’d be there for you, that you’d get through it together. He wasn't sure if he believed it, but he knew it was what you needed to hear, it was what he had needed to hear, except there had been no one to tell him. He would spend the rest of his life wondering if you needed him.

But he won't shut you out again, he knows better.

Part 2: Should've Known

[noangeleither]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

[lorata]

Hello! I’m not certain that the ask box is the place for this(pretty new to tumblr), but I really wanted to let you know just how much I enjoy the writing you do. I found your a03 towards the end of 2021, and since then I’ve read through everything there and a lot of this blog. (I have tried and mostly failed to navigate live journal.) I absolutely adore your work. Like, it’s going to be hard for me to express just how much joy your writing brings me. But I know that positive feedback is important so I am going to try.

1) The world. Your stories from district two have some of the best worldbuilding that I have ever had the chance to see. It’s hard to explain, but you are very good at making stories that exist in time. The Centre and the Victor’s village have so much depth and weight to them. I can tell that choices were made for a reason, both in the story and outside of it. I feel like every background character could have an entire book written on them, and because of the scale of your writing, a whole lot of them do. District Two feels so real. I understand the career system and why District two didn’t rebel and how all of it adds to the themes that Suzanne Collins wrote THG to address. It’s really extraordinary. When I read hunger games fanfic by other people, I often find myself hoping district 2 will win.

2) The characters. Like above, you have an amazing sense of how characters age and grow over time. They all feel so real, and you are so good at giving each Victor a unique, changing philosophy. Lyme’s gradual path to rebellion, Ronan’s fight to protect his district, even the outlying victors have consistent characterizations. And to make things even more impressive, these characterizations stay consistent across AUs! Normal Alec and Victor Alec are so clearly the same character and it’s just really, really good. Your villains are also utterly despicable. Your version of Coin makes my skin crawl, especially in the ‘canon’ stories where only Enobaria lives. I think my favorite characters are Lyme and Claudius, but everyone is so well done.

3) Self indulgent stuff. As someone who spends too many hours in the day thinking about Marvel, I adore your Avengers Games fics from like 2012. The characters in that are also remarkably well written. The characters in that fic who were in the mcu at the time (the og avengers + loki) feel more in character than in most fan stuff that Ive read. (Is that story continued on the live journal? I really haven’t explored that site). Also, it’s been great to see another person online with similar opinions on TNG, especially on Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. So many fanfic writers forget that Katniss is a flawed girl trying her best, and they also ignore the real, serious issues that Collins wanted to explore with the series. You don’t do that. You don’t glorify the games, but you still manage to make your arena stories exciting and action packed. To quote a recurring theme from the series, you know who the real enemy is. Sorry if that sounded pretentious.

You have clearly put so much time and love into these fanfics over the last twelve years. I am honored that I have had the chance to read millions of words of your work, and I wanted to thank you for that. I hope you are doing well with whatever you do in your offline life!

WHOOPS ABOUT THE LIVEJOURNAL I have it set up as best I can with the tags and the masterlists but it was a different era and if you're not used to it I think it's probably a bit obtuse

the Avenger Games AU, I never did continue that first story, but there are various spin-offs here

the Victor Selene AU is here

the Canon Divergence AU continues here

but ahhhhhhhh thank you what a wonderful comment! :) that is lovely and makes me very happy and I'm going to save this for bad days, honestly. it is so weird to have such a huge cast of characters that can't go anywhere else (you really cannot file the serial numbers off this universe, it is intrinsically tied to canon and honestly, I think that's a good thing) but I like it! no pressure to do anything but stay here and have fun with other people having fun

[katnissmellarkkk]

I posted 2,329 times in 2022

524 posts created (22%)

1,805 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@christmascookiekatnissmellarkkkk

@rosegardeninwinter

@jenniferiawrence

@in-love-with-movies

@capiture

I tagged 2,195 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#movies 🤍💫 - 562 posts

#🖤🤍​series and television🖤🤍 - 221 posts

#🤍✨🍿 films seen in 2022 🥀✨🎞 - 195 posts

#thg - 142 posts

#hunger games - 134 posts

#play with me 🥰 - 128 posts

#everlark - 112 posts

#everlarky 🧡 - 103 posts

#siads 🌅 - 74 posts

#pretty writing 💙 - 71 posts

Longest Tag: 142 characters

#i’m not allowed to reply but thank you so much my writing is literally the most important compliment i could get so thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I’m a broken record and I’m just repeating what I’ve said a million times before but :

Peeta was, from his very first appearance in chapter two, written as the love interest. I can’t explain it further really, you just see it or you don’t. There was never any real doubt to the reader he was the one Katniss would choose in the end, because he was the only one written as a serious possibility.

347 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

#4

Okay and also, another thing???? Why is Francis Lawrence so backwards with his opinion towards Ballad and the OG trilogy’s love stories? TBOSAS love story wasn’t a real love story? It was infatuation and manipulation and possession hidden beneath the guise of an entitled sociopath going through a rough patch in his otherwise cushy life. The OG trilogy was literally a love story between a starved girl who grew up too quick and the boy who she couldn’t let die, who reminded her of humanity in the face of insurmountable strife and grief, who showed her kindness when everything else fell apart, who proved that her life could always be good again, even after losing everything she ever held close.

So why did Francis Lawrence always downplaying Katniss and Peeta’s love story but now overselling Lucy Gray and Snow’s?

348 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#3

I know I said this before — it was one of my first posts ever on this blog, if I remember correctly — but one of the parallels that gets to me from The Hunger Games to Mockingjay is one that I feel is criminally undiscussed.

Hunger Games :

“You have a . . . remarkable memory,” I say haltingly.

“I remember everything about you,” says Peeta, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re the one who wasn’t paying attention.”

“I am now,” I say.

Mockingjay :

At a few minutes before four, Peeta turns to me again. "Your favorite color...it's green?"

"That's right." Then I think of something to add. "And yours is orange."

"Orange?" He seems unconvinced.

"Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset," I say. "At least, that's what you told me once."

"Oh." He closes his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you."

But more words tumble out. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces."

Also we can discuss how Peeta’s line “I remember everything about you” is ironic considering Mockingjay. Suzanne Collins really is either a genius or her writing intrinsically parallels itself.

662 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

#2

It’s actually fascinating to me that for all the main characters in The Hunger Games (that we truly know and understand) Gale is the only one who never actually experiences his “worst case scenario” come to life.

We know right from chapter one that Katniss’ worst case scenario is losing Prim. She’s still got resentments towards her mother, she doesn’t have many friends at all because if she can help it, she won’t attach herself to people she can lose, and her father is long dead. But Prim is the one person, the one living thing that she undeniably loves without reservations or hesitation. Every single thing she does throughout the entire series can be tied back to her love for Prim.

And then Prim died at the end of the war.

Peeta’s worst case scenario was always losing himself, to the awful world they live in. He refused to just be another piece in the games, and that extended further than the arena. He believed he was destined to die in the games but he always, always tried to keep his purity of self in tact.

And then Snow hijacked him, corrupted his mind and forced him to completely forget who he was, what he stood for and who he loved.

Other important characters had their “worst case scenario” happen years before the books began. Twenty-four years prior to the start of the series Haymitch lost the three people he loved as punishment for his antics. Johanna lost everyone she ever cared for too (presumably for being rebellious or uncooperative). And in the course of the second and third book, in the background of Katniss’ story, Finnick lost Mags who practically raised him and his very vulnerable love got kidnapped and tormented. Yes, he got her back and they had a moment of happiness but then he went and bit the dust so.

But Gale never experiences this. When Katniss tells us in chapter one about Prim and her love for her, she mentions how deeply Gale loves his own family. The Hawthorne’s are sprinkled throughout all three books, more than any other family aside from Katniss’. Why would that be? We don’t know almost anything about Peeta’s family, even though his father and Mrs. Everdeen have some level of history. We know his mother is, best case scenario, sometimes temperamental (to put it lightly) and that negatively affected aspects of his development. Peeta is a much more prevalent character throughout the series, yet we know almost nothing about his family or background. Haymitch is one of the most essential people in Katniss’ life, he’s her lifeline in the games, the mirror image of what she could become in personality and trauma and her overall father figure by the end. Yet we know nothing about his family or his girl. Even though the loss of those people is likely the explanation to why Haymitch ended up the way he did. But we know the names and bits and pieces of the personalities of every single living member of Gale’s family. Why is that? Maybe because Katniss is more familiar with them? But she also went to the same school as Peeta’s brothers and she trades with his father once a week. Mr. Mellark has more of a connection to Katniss than Gale’s family does, through her mother. So, pretty apparently in my opinion, we learn more about the Hawthorne’s as a whole because it’s essential to Gale’s character. Because his family is everything to him. Because losing them would be his “worst case scenario”.

Saying this doesn’t mean Gale had it easy. His life was arguably one of the hardest we saw at the start of the series and he was put in awful positions throughout the books, he was whipped almost to death, he lost a lot that he cared deeply about along the way and he without a doubt suffered immensely. But he didn’t lose his family, in the end he landed a pretty great job, in a fancier district and presumably had his family with him.

I just find it interesting that even though his life was probably so hard, in the end of the story Gale is only main character who didn’t live through his “worst case scenario”.

804 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Haters : “Peeta is W E A K.”

Katniss Herself :

“All those years of having enough to eat and hauling bread trays around have made him broad-shouldered and strong. It will take an awful lot of weeping to convince anyone to overlook him.”

“He's so strong and such a good liar.”

“Sometimes when I'm alone, I take the pearl from where it lives in my pocket and try to remember the boy with the bread, the strong arms that warded off nightmares on the train, the kisses in the arena.”

“Strong arms lift me as I blast the head off a mutt whose claws have just grazed my ankle. I'm slammed into the ladder. Hands shoved against the rungs. Ordered to climb. My wooden, puppet limbs obey. Movement slowly brings me back to my senses. I detect one person above me. Pollux. Peeta and Cressida are below.”

“I wrap my arms around his neck, feel his arms hesitate before they embrace me. Not as steady as they once were, but still warm and strong. A thousand moments surge through me. All the times these arms were my only refuge from the world.”

1,158 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Everlark Author Game

It’s actually shameful how long it took me to get around to this. @savvylark tagged me half an eon ago to answer several Everlark related questions, so here we go.

1.     What inspired you to start writing Everlark fanfiction?

After blazing through reading the entire trilogy in a matter of days way back in 2012, I couldn’t let the stories go and needed more. I started with your traditional “growing back together” fics that filled in the hole between the Peeta planting the primroses, “Real,” and the epilogue. That led me to @promptsinpanem and I thought, “Hey, I could do this too!” And promptly chickened out, lol. Took me two years of reading, expanding my horizons into canon divergent and AU stories, lurking, and secretly writing my own fics before I worked up the courage to post something. Basically, nothing out of the ordinary.

2.     How did you choose your handle name (tumblr, ao3, ff)?

Ugh. I should dig the post out of my archive, but there’s about six and a half years worth of posts and I can’t remember the last time I reblogged it, lol. Anyways! This is actually my second name, first one was not fandom related and based off a line in a song I was low key obsessed with at the time, and I wasn’t too thrilled with it. Then someone was asked the question “If Katniss and Peeta had tumblrs, what would they blog about?” and the answer was sheer brilliance, so I wish I could find it again to share with you! Alas, not tonight. Their answer contained the phrase “And Katniss never follows back.” I about died laughing and eventually decided to change my name to katnissdoesnotfollowback. I just got lucky it was available on all three sites and literally nobody knew who I was yet. ;)

3.     Any other THG pairings you ship?

I do love me some Odesta, but my ship that I will sail into the sunset even if they never meet in canon, I don’t care you can’t talk me out of it, is Madge and Johanna. Also @savvylark, I saw you put them in your answer to this question. ;) I’ll bring more of you aboard or sink trying!

4.      Favorite character to write?

Katniss usually comes easiest for me. I feel like I struggle with Peeta’s brand of witty and it often comes out cheesy. Johanna is always a blast, and I’ll be honest, I like writing Prim as an adult because there’s just so many directions to take her. But I’ve sort of started to fall in love with writing Peeta’s brothers... does it show?

5.     Weird habits while writing?

Does playing songs on repeat and sort of dancing while writing to their rhythm count? Maybe it’s my post-it covered walls... Also gummy bears.

6.     Any advice for other Everlark writers?

This fandom has been around long enough that a lot of things have already been written. We’ve about covered every trope imaginable. And guess what? People. Are. Still. Reading. It. So don’t be too concerned with originality. Just give it your own spin and it’ll be original enough. This group is mostly very welcoming and open to new writers, to new fan created content. “Holy shit! Two cakes!” (where’s that comic when I need it????) is kind of the mentality here. There aren’t as many of them around anymore, but events like the @everlarkficexchange or @thgseasonofhope are really good platforms for either launching for fanfic career or gaining new readership. Recognition for your work may take time, but someone out there will read it. Most importantly...do you love it? Then write it.

7. Favorite thing about our fandom?

I’m borrowing @savvylark‘s answer for this one. “The overall message that we need “the dandelion in the spring” seems to be deeply ingrained in the fandom. It seems many have been dealt a poor hand, the odds weren’t in our favor and life was very hard at one point or another, yet that message of hope, that resilience seems to be in every person in the fandom, some of the most talented writers have amazing stories themselves. THAT is inspiring and beautiful!!”

I’m so late to this game that I have no idea who’s been tagged and who hasn’t. So please ignore if you’ve already played. @deinde-prandium, @notanislander, @drivebyanon. If you do decide to play, be sure to tag it with #everlarkauthor. <3

[alternativewinxcontinuity]

Princess Solaria: Fairy Lost

Princess Solaria: Fairy Lost (part 03) Winx Pilot Episode AU Bloom turns a corner and heads to the beach, Stella deals with the fall out.

Previously: AO3; 01-Clean/TW; 02

Pursuit of knowledge

Stella stepped out of the shower as the sun was rising. She'd slept fitfully through the night, exhausted physically from the long night and day of worried wandering, but her mind continued to throw problems at her.

Could the men in suits track her? What did they want with her? Was her physiology that different from the locals? Was that noise someone breaking in? What was the local political climate like? How hard would it be for Stella to find the things she'd need to contact home? How much danger was she actually in?

Wiping the condensation from the mirror, Stella eyed her reflection critically. Her hair remained the same orange-brown of her father, the bruises on her skin still looked fresh, which was expected. Breathing deeply and applying a slight amount of pressure, Stella checked her bones for breaks, but while her body ached, she felt no sharp stab that came with bone injuries.

She sighed with relief, knowing the worst of the healing was out of the way. Stella had been worried about her magical reserves, trying to decide if it would have been better to force all of her reserves directly into healing, which would have left her physically whole, but depleted of magic, or wait and allow the natural siphon of her returning magic, which would have delayed her physical healing but ensured she had some power to work with.

With her bones healed, allowing the natural siphoning process to take place was her safest option.

Turning from the mirror, Stella pulled one of her suitcases from its carry space, grimacing when it opened to reveal a selection of short skirts.

'I really need to keep my carry space in better order,' she shoved the suitcase back and pulled out another, this one containing clothes she could wear out without showing off her bruising. If she was staying in, the skirts wouldn't have been a problem, and perhaps she should have taken the day to rest and recuperate, but she'd woken so many times in the night, convinced her dreams of men in suits breaking in were actually happening.

She needed to get off this planet.

Stepping into the local library took more determination than it should have, old taunts echoed in Stella's head as she slipped into the cold, air-conditioned building.

'Seriously,' she snarled mentally, 'who the heck thinks taunting the future queen is a good idea, stupid brats.' Stella banished the old hurts from her mind, mourning her ability to give a decent hair flick alongside the dismissal, her hair bound up in cute, woven buns.

“Can, can I help you?” A quite voice from off to the side of the entrance called out to her, Stella turned, the lenses of her glasses rapidly shifting back to clear inside the artificial light.

“I'm here for knowledge,” Stella said with mock seriousness, stepping closer to the young woman at the counter. “You wouldn't happen to know where I can find the books on space stuff and communications?” Stella let a chagrined smile onto her face, trying to put the woman at ease.

“Sure,” the woman stood, “I can show you if you'd like?”

“That would be great-” Stella caught sight of a name tag “-thanks Pattie.”

As the woman led Stella through the shelving she asked, “how's your morning been so far?”

“Not bad,” Stella replied vaguely.

“You just looked kind of... scowly when you came in.”

“Oh!” The princess let herself feel a second of shame for her slip, before shoving it to the side and covering it up with a lie, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring my bad attitude with me. My boarding school does summer homework, and I wanted to get it out of the way so I could enjoy my break, you know? Unlike certain other people.”

“Let me guess: team assignment everyone else is happy to leave until the night before going back?”

“Got it in one,” Stella let out a sigh, “on the bright side, the teacher this is for, is more than happy to do individual grades so: I'm throwing those slackers under the bus.”

She tried not to let her confusion show as her figure of speech came out strangely, why would she throw people under a moving vehicle? That was a horrible thing to do.

“Urgh, I wish my teachers would do that, seriously, last group assignment was the worst. In other news, uh...” Pattie made a face and a small pointing gesture at Stella, like she was trying to remember something.

“Oh, sorry, I'm Elaine,” the false name slid from her mouth with ease. She'd taken several minutes to practice in the mirror before she'd left the apartment.

“Elaine, right, here is our 'space stuff' section. All our information for communications, well I assume you mean like radio, telephone, email? Anyway all that stuff is-” Pattie gave directions with her hands and arms as well as her words, telling Stella how to find the categories she was after, and where to find the tables and chairs she could work at. “And if you want to take any of the books home, come find me at the front desk, I'll set you up with a card.”

“Thank you so much, you are the best,” Pattie snorted and ducked her head away, a grin and a blush covering her face at Stella's praise.

“No problem,” Pattie started walking backwards in the direction of her desk, “good luck with your assignment.”

“Thank you,” Stella mouthed at the retreating girl, before turning to the books. “Okay,” she whispered, “star charts, star charts.” She ran her fingers across the book spines, pulling out anything that sounded like it could help.

At the front desk of the library, the young assistant librarian covered her red face with her hands, trying not to squeal. She wiggled happily as a feeling of warmth bubbled inside her. Mid-wriggle Pattie froze.

'Holy crap,' she knew this feeling, 'am I Bi?'

Elaine's words, 'you are the best,' floated through Pattie's head and she had to stop herself from squealing all over again. Her sexuality crisis could wait, a super pretty girl had just told her she was 'the best.'

“Pattie?” the young woman startled so hard she almost dropped her sandwich.

“Elaine!? Hey,” Pattie shoved her lunch back into its wrapper and checked her mouth for food smears. “What's up?”

“Sorry, I didn't realise I'd be here so long, and I didn't think I could eat in the library anyway,” the duo glanced at the half hidden sandwich.

Pattie threw a hand over it and whispered “you saw nothing. Librarian privileges.”

Stella let out a little huff of laughter, “saw nothing, got it. Uhm, so I'm just going to head over to the café and grab some lunch, I shouldn't be more than an hour, is it alright if I leave my books at the table I was working at?”

It took Pattie a second to catch up with the conversation, her embarrassment causing her brain to lag behind. “Sure, uh, yeah that's fine. I mean, I'd take my personal equipment with me if I was you, but the books are fine where they are, I'll let the other librarian on duty know to leave them.”

Stella lifted her satchel bag and patted it gently, “got my stuff, I'll see you after lunch.”

As Stella walked to the door Pattie sighed, “Oh my god I'm bi.” The doors closed with a quiet 'thg', and she blanched, “please don't let her have heard me, please don't let her have heard meeee.”

Walking down the steps Stella giggled, “still got it.”

Stella was in trouble. A lot of trouble.

Every star chart she'd looked over had led her to one conclusion: she wasn't as lost as she'd assumed.

Which sounded amazing, but in reality, was far worse.

She was on Albion, a colony world where fairies had been hunted to extinction, a world that had been quarantined from the rest of the Dimension as a result. She was as far from the Magical Dimension as it was possible to get, without actually leaving.

No one knew what had really happened in the last days of Tir Nan Og, but there were theories, each crazier than the last. Queen Morgana had sent out a message across the Dimension, telling everyone to stay away while her people cast a Great Spell. When the energy emissions had died down, and people had gone to investigate, all traces of the fairy cities, of magic and the fairies themselves, were gone.

The Planet's energy fields were warped, inexplicably draining its own magic, and nothing anyone had done, could undo it.

The problem didn't begin and end there though, not for Stella. The quarantine wasn't just because of the assumed genocide. If she didn't take steps to protect her magical core, the warped planetary fields would begin to drain her magic as well.

Stella groaned as she dumped her stack of books onto her kitchen bench. Pattie had been kind enough to warn her about the Summer Activities the library participated in, including the book readings for small children which would begin the following day. So Stella had done the smart thing, and taken Pattie up on her offer of a library card; toting the heavy pile of books all the way back to her apartment was a small price to pay for the peace to actually study.

Throwing a meal into her microwave, Stella turned on her tv, looking for the news station. She managed to catch the last fifteen minutes of a news broadcast, and learned nothing of interest. She left the television on while she took a shower, and came back to a strange movie about a reporter who wore his bright red underwear over a blue unitard while saving his partner who didn't recognise him without his glasses.

Stella wasn't sure if that was normal, or if the woman was some level of face-blind; because while glasses helped change the appearance of the face, (the reason Stella was wearing them) they didn't alter it so much that a co-worker would be that confused.

Turning the tv off with a muttered 'this planet is so weird,' Stella began sorting through her books, preparing to read up on the planet's communication technology.

Royal Palace : Solaria

“Every guard, every soldier, hire volunteers if we must!” Queen Luna shouted to the assembled military leaders. Beside her, her husband radiated with fury.

“Find our daughter!” The assembly hesitated. “GO!”

The attendees scrambled for the exits, all preparing for the search. In the throne room Luna sank to her knees while Radius glared holes in the carpet. Rage was so much easier than grief.

Gardenia : Earth

Stella needed a break. Her brain was melting out her ears.

Probably.

She'd spent a full day studying at the library, plus she'd spent an entire day staying in the apartment with the books she'd brought back, she deserved a break.

She'd spent so long pretending, she'd actually forgotten how obnoxious studying was.

So, as the sun rose over the city of Gardenia once more, Stella prepared for a day off at the beach. Her bruising was finally faded enough to disappear under a light foundation, so Stella was going to take full advantage to catch some sun rays and bolster her magical energy. At the door she paused, groaning to herself as she back-tracked and grabbed her notebooks, stuffing them in her beach bag to go over. If she felt like it.

Stella decided to take a bus to the beach, rather than walk, it was only a few dollars, and the convenience seemed more than worth it. As the bus drove through the streets of Gardenia, Stella's eyes caught on a pair of girls on a bicycle.

The one on the parcel tray looked like she'd feel right at home at Cloud Tower, from her sandy-green hair, to her chunky boots. The girl pedalling the bike had flame-orange hair, and as the bus passed them, Stella turned, getting a view of the girl's face.

There was a strange familiarity about the girl, but Stella couldn't put her finger on why. Then the bus turned a corner and the pair fell out of sight, Stella shoved the thought away. She'd probably just seen the girl around town.

Even in her head, it felt like a lie.

Roxy wasn't sure what to think when she recognised Stella; the young woman was wearing a sarong over a bikini that showed off an impressive amount of skin. Despite Roxy's frown, Stella smiled when she saw the younger teen.

“Hey Roxy,” Stella slid onto a stool across the bar from the waitress, her smile faltering when Roxy's frown didn't lessen, the girl running an eye over Stella's flawless skin.

“Oh, yeah, I heal really fast.” When Roxy didn't look impressed, the ginger girl looked around, before leaning close, “I'm also wearing a ridiculous amount of cover up right now. Like, I probably could have started a store, with the amount I'm wearing, no joke.”

Stella pulled a bottle from her bag to show the waitress, but Roxy didn't recognise the brand.

“Speaking of expenses,” she shove the bottle back into her beach back, and pulled out a purse, “I can't pay you for the help you gave me, but I can pay for the food and drinks now.” Before she could start pulling out money, Roxy waved her off, finally relaxing.

“Don't worry about it, you needed the help, and it didn't affect the bar's bottom line. But if you want to pay for your drinks form now on...”

“Happily,” Stella grinned, “I didn't even go outside yesterday, so today, I'm treating myself.”

“You found a place to stay?” Roxy stepped back from the bar, putting together a mocktail with practised ease.

“Yeah, just a little place, but it's all mine,” Stella swapped her cash for the drink and took a sip, “oh this is amazing, what is it?”

“It's a sunrise, don't worry, it's virgin, despite being a 'bar,' we don't actually have an alcohol license.”

Something about the name made Stella giggle, “it's perfect,” she assured Roxy.

“Well, good. You know what else is perfect?” Stella looked up from her second sip, an eyebrow raised curiously. “Your accent, seriously Stella, how did you get that down so fast?”

The young woman flinched, “I'm kinda... good with languages? Also, could,” Stella looked around again, worry evident in the lines of her body, “could you call me Elaine?”

“Elaine?” Stella nodded, “okay, I can do that... Ste- Elaine, are, are you an illegal immigrant? Is that why those guys...”

“No! No, I'm, I'm not... those men aren't after me for being an illegal immigrant.”

The girl was curling in on herself, and Roxy felt horrible about it but she pushed a little further, “does it have to do with whoever hurt you?”

Stella tensed, when she replied her voice was barely more than a whisper, “I don't know what happened exactly, but they showed up while I was in the hospital. I can't tell you what they want with me, but it is not good.”

Roxy leaned across the bar, resting one of her hands gently on Stella's arm, giving her enough time to pull away if she wanted. “I'm sorry for pushing, I shouldn't have done that.”

“No; strange foreign woman shows up in your bar needing help and on the run, you have every right to wonder. Although...”

“Although?”

“When I say it like that it sounds like the start of a trashy detective novel.” The two girls shared a look, before breaking out into giggles, the heavy atmosphere lifted like a light fog in the hot sun.

“Roxy!” The younger woman turned towards the interrupting call, eyes settling on her father.

“Yeah dad?”

“Stop flirting, there's other customers waiting,” the man gave the girls a teasing look, turning back to his own customers. The girls started laughing all over again, even as Roxy drew away.

“Ah, I'd better get back to it.”

“I'll leave you alone then,” Stella began to move from her seat then stopped, “Oh, uh, I was going to catch some sun, can I-” she lifted the mostly full drink.

“Oh yeah, just don't leave the glass in the sand, and stay in the bar's designated area, I'll pick it up on my rounds.”

“Cool, I'll see you later,” Stella gave her a little wave and flounced away. Roxy shook her head and got back to work.

Part 04

[prixmiumarchive]

I saw a post about The Hunger Games movies earlier that I pretty much agreed with in terms of their hyper-representation of white people, their lack of attention to the culturally resonant implications of systemic and racist violence, and so on. Basically, it was praising the books and juxtaposing them with the movies as being vastly inferior products because they shaved off all the rough edges to create a much less complex narrative that focused more on the romantic relationship than the societal implications. And all that is well and good. I am waiting for my good Hunger Games Netflix or Hulu series well into  old age. However, I just wanted to say something from my personal experience of The Hunger Games fandom to sort of counter this particular post politely without tacking onto someone else’s viewpoint in a rude way, which is why I’m making my own post.

I got into The Hunger Games back in very late 2011 because I had learned that Jennifer Lawrence was going to be in it. This was on the coattails of my being hyper-obsessed with X-Men: First Class, and this had been my first exposure to Jennifer Lawrence. My first exposure to the name of The Hunger Games series, on the other hand, were meme text posts that were going around when I first joined tumblr in 2011 that were joking about not knowing what “The Hunger Games” were or not having read them. Anyway, basically what happened was that I learned that Jennifer Lawrence was going to be in The Hunger Games movie, and I had enjoyed her in XMFC, and at the time I had a relationship with fandom where I might actually choose to follow and actor or actress’s body of work much more easily than I would now (in fact this is because of THG fandom).

Anyway, I picked up the book and read the back of it and became very excited about the fact that The Hunger Games was set in Appalachia. This was really exciting to me, and because of my own background in Appalachia I always read Katniss as Melungeon. There was a time, early in my experience in that fandom, when I would have died on that hill. Then I realized how sorely underrepresented indigenous peoples are, so while my brain still defaults to Melungeon, I am 100% in support of indigenous Katniss, too. I’m just sharing this for full disclosure, especially if anyone goes back in my THG tags which haven’t been active in a long while even though I still like the story itself in concept. Back to original point, I was excited about a heroine coming from my part of the world in a post-apcoalyptic setting because I tend to think of the south, particularly my part of it, as being kind of erased in fiction and so on.

By the time it became 2012, I had read the first book and was disappointingly convinced that Jennifer Lawrence was a poor casting choice for Katniss. I didn’t really have anyone better in mind off the top of my head, but cornfed, big-boned Jennifer Lawrence was more Glimmer than Katniss. However, I was still willing to watch the movie because i was so excited to have a movie of this thing I had come to love so much, and at the time the only things I knew about Jennifer Lawrence were things about how skilled she was for someone who was within a few months of my age. I was also excited about Josh Hutcherson as Peeta, which is still one of the only casting choices I’m happy with in retrospect.

The point of this post, however, is actually a little word of caution against giving the books too much credit because of their author Suzanne Collins. Now, this is not to say that she did not craft a story that is very meaningful to some people and that perhaps she did not execute her intent with more finesse in certain areas than she was consciously aware of. That happens sometimes, even incidentally. She might have even been aware of her intent and finesse while she was writing the books. That does not account for what happened during the casting and production of the first Hunger Games film, though.

I gobbled up anything I could get my hands on that was about the movie production, the casting, the cast itself, the process behind bringing these books to life. I still have several of the Scholastic tie-in books that I compulsively bought. I bought all the Capitol-based merch being fully aware of how creepy it was. I had a Hunger Games lanyard for years. I was so, so excited about everything. And as I mentioned, the downfall of The Hunger Games behind the scenes stuff and cast and so on in terms of my adoring-respect is one of the main reasons that I don’t actually follow the celebrity behind media I like for the most part now.

While I was doing this, I distinctly remember reading a magazine while walking through Walmart with my mother on a break from college. I cannot remember specifically what the title was except I think it was sort of a special publication, Hunger Games-specific magazine. I can’t quote it directly for you anymore. However, I want you all to be aware that Suzanne Collins actually got a lot more say in casting The Hunger Games movies than most book authors ever get.

In most cases, book authors sell the film rights to their books, and then they are as helpless and waiting with bated breath as the readers/fans of their books are. However, Gary Ross was kind of known as an odd, hands-on director. There are aspects of the unpolished aesthetic of the first film, particularly in District 12, that are far more fitting from the Asheville sets than from the Atlanta ones of the later films, and this is probably greatly owing to Ross’s ~directorial vision~. One of the main reasons they switched directors pretty much immediately after the first film’s success was because Ross wanted to work on a much longer time frame to get the other three movies “right” than the studio wanted to grant him on the coattails of commercial success and 20-something, aging actors playing teenagers.

Ross and Collins were both directly involved in helping with the casting direction. I remember very clearly reading that Collins said that she would have hired Josh Hutcherson to play Peeta had he been a purple dragon with six-foot wings or some description of this nature. Basically, she was saying that his “inner spirit” and understanding of the character was right to the point that it did not matter if he looked like Peeta, let alone even human, to play the role. Now, this might be a nice enough thing to say about Josh Hutcherson when there is absolutely no reason to believe that Peeta can’t be a white, blond boy. However, I think that it is really telling about Collins’s overall approach and attitude toward her allowed input on the casting of the films.

I am a white person. I have never been a published author, a director, or a casting director. Saying that, I think that the casting of The Hunger Games shows a very, very white attitude toward “color blindness” and mixed race people of color in particular. I just kind of want to bullet point a couple of things that I infer kind of must have gone on in Collins’ mind / that go on in some white authors’/creators’ minds unless they examine their own privilege and attitudes about race:

The Hunger Games books literally never once use a word that indicates a current, modern race or ethnic identification.

However, there does seem to be a fair amount of racial segregation between the districts with one or two ethnic or racial groups being typical of each one rather than a lot of diversity.

It was fanon in the pre-movie book fandom that Wiress and Beetee were probably of Southeast Asian appearance because Katniss observes that they have “ashen skin and black hair.” This itself might have been symptomatic of a racism or stereotyping either on the part of the fandom or the text because Beetee and Wiress are from the “technology district” (District 3). I wonder what stereotype that could be, hm. In the films, they are portrayed by a white woman and a black man respectively.

Cinna does not have any particular descriptions about his skin color that I recall. They cast Lenny Kravtiz and I liked this casting choice. However, if you go back and watch The Hunger Games films, you might notice that there is a conspicuous lack of any diversity beyond having white actors and black actors. It was good that they did cast black actors in a few notable roles, I have no doubt, but in my gut I always got this sense that it was a kind of “look at us, we’re being diverse!” rather than an actual attempt to reflect the diversity that was clearly suggested in the text.

Again, Collins said she would have hired Hutcherson had he been a purple dragon.

Collins also said that she had absolutely 0 doubts about Lawrence’s casting as Katniss. I believe that I did once read someone asking her about Katniss’s appearance being described as significantly different from Lawrence, and as I recall, Collins suggested that perhaps there simply were no actresses who looked the way she imagined Katniss to look while the casting call literally only called for white women.

Collins also said in an interview once that she based The Hunger Games concept on her emotional dissonance flipping between channels and finding things like American Idol on while there was coverage of the Iraq War on another station. I’m not saying it’s unfair to give her some credit for having compassion for the child survivors in war-torn areas. However, I might also suggest that anything she has said since about 2011-2012 about it might be kind of her building on a previous thought that she did not necessarily have before other people prompted her thinking. At the time, though, she was saying that it was very much a kind of not-very-thoroughly-researched reaction to popular culture and current events. Now, if she’s grown about it, that’s great, but I’m just saying in terms of this discussion of the movie vs. film quality and diversity thing.

From my understanding, Collins had little to do with the production of the films after the first, but Ross did call on her opinion and input frequently during all stages of the production of the first film.

All of this is getting around to me saying that I think there is a thing that some white people do to imagine a post-racial utopia (or even dystopia, in this case) where racial descriptions and ethnic divides have fallen by the wayside. It’s sort of horrifying, but The Hunger Games to me almost presents a scenario in which the spirit of it might be read to suggest that ethnic identity no longer really exists having been supplanted by District identity. In District 12, there are those who live in the Seam and those who are a part of the “small merchant class.” There are physical descriptions but never identifying words that we recognize. (Collins, as a note, played with this a lot; there was actually a glaring inconsistency where Katniss didn’t know what a monkey was called in one of the later books when she did in the first one, or something.)

Collins, in her public statements around the time she was having an influence on the direction and shape of the films-of-her-books, seemed to suggest that the people who lived in the Seam were the result of racial mixing of some form or another. She also seemed to suggest that they would not be identifiable by any term that we currently have. The Seam residents were imagined as the ultimate, isolated conclusion to a “melting pot” in which varied ethnic identification washed away which is one of the very specific reasons that I originally identified Katniss as a Melungeon in my personal reading. However, to Collins, it seems as if she imagines these post-ethnic people as something mythical and futuristic, like a future evolution of human beings or a fantasy creature like an elf (or a purple dragon!). Collins’s personal responses always read, to me, as being completely oblivious to the very idea that she had extrapolated that maybe someone like Katniss actually did exist in the very area which District 12 was supposedly based on to this very day and that this was not a once-and-future kind of reality that no longer existed in present-day America.

Tl;dr I really like The Hunger Games, and I hope I’m not stepping way out of my lane to talk about this as a white reader. However, I wanted to talk again after all this time about how yes, the movies erase a lot of the things that make the books meaningful (political and social implications, representation of diversity and disability and so on), but suggesting that the books innately present something a lot better and richer has a little to do with Collins. On the other hand, I suggest that there is a little bit of death of the author involved in your wonderful readings of this text because Collins herself seems to have directly refuted some of the nice things you might have to say about authorial intent in terms of diversity and representation.

[tobns]

                            BREAKING CASTLE WALLS (2017)

                                                               click beneath the cut for more (do it) !

so, i decided that i wasn’t gonna post anything about what i was working on for nanowrimo up until i at least hit 50k (which has taken much longer than i anticipated, but i did it and that’s all that matters) because i failed in epic proportions last year with sfp, and i've said so many times over the last 5 years that i’ve “been working on the book version of bcw” only for that to fail as well, and i’d kick myself if i put it out there that i was working on this yet again, hype you guys up and fail yet again — HOWEVER, i am officially 50k+ in and still going pretty strong, therefore i feel pretty confident that this is gonna stick

talking with jackie inspired me to finally push forward to this; my excuse every other time was that “there will be a better time to do it” and i came to the conclusion while planning with amanda that there will never be a “better time” and i need to just do it. and so i did. after five painstaking years, i have written bcw the fucking book.

a lot has changed; movie plots, essential storylines, names, ages, characters, whole nine yards - bcw is now somewhat able to stand on its own two feet separate from fandom, which has been a really big worry of mine. i’m only 50k in, which equates to about chapter 3 in the original bcw, however, with this version of bcw, i’m only writing about their time filming. the mall tour bit almost stands as its own individual story and realistically, following both my plan for this AND adding in bcw 23-44 makes for a book the length of an unabridged dictionary, which publishers/agents are not going to want to pick up. this leads into my next point — i have every intention of publishing this. since summer of 2012, the thought of someday publishing bcw has been in my brain, and it has never been a dream i’ve been willing to let go of or compromise. i wanted it then, and i want it now. i’ve self-published twice now, with both tempted and transient, and while that’s been a rewarding process, i want to go about things a more traditional way. i want to have this book published by a publishing house; i want to go into barnes and fucking noble and see this sitting on the shelf. that’s the dream, and i’m sticking to it until it’s just no longer a possibility. so where to from here?

first things first, i need to actually finish (timeline wise, i’m at the start of july and i’m going into mid/late august). depending on how i feel by the end of november, i’ll either keep writing on into december or take a short break, write some other things, catch up on the tv i’ve missed, etc. january and potentially february, i’ll go back and revise, shape things up, make it even better. from there, things are a tad bit hazy: i’ve yet to decide if i’m going to go about the traditional way of finding an agent or if i’m going to take a risk and put the manuscript up on swoonreads. swoonreads, if you don’t know, is an “online community” where you can post your manuscript for said community to see, and depending on a few factors, the book could potentially be published by macmillan. right now, i’m leaning towards this option because it allows you guys access to reading the story sooner than you would be able to if i go about finding an agent before submitting to publishing houses. nothing’s set in stone, though. i’ll keep you updated as time goes on, but please please don’t be scared to give me your thoughts and opinions? as i’ve always said, bcw is just as much y’alls baby as it is mine, and i think it’s only fair that you get some say in the process. it may seem a bit unrealistic, but i would like to have this book in your hands by, at the latest, 2020. if i have to self-publish, i will, but i don’t really want to.

there’s a few people i want to thank really quickly before i get back to writing:

@catolovesclove (i’m tagging you on this url bc it’s what came to mind first, dwi) amanda you have been my saving grace during the last 21 days and i love you more than i can put into words. i could not, cannot, and will not do any of this without you. 

@pixiedustandverygoodadvice i met you through this story, and it’s so much of your baby as it is mine. thanks for meeting jackie, bc we both know that’s what got us here - our dramatic readings of bcw have been the highlight of this month, you give jackie a voice in my head and i just love you so much

@shadcwthings you keep me sane, and have done so especially well this month, thanks for putting up with me

@orchidellee years and years ago, you sent me a message saying “even if you have moved on from that chapter in your life, don’t forget how amazing bcw was and how many people you made happy!!” i have it screenshotted on my phone, and every single day for the last month i have looked at that message to remind myself why i love this story so much, why it’s important, and to keep me moving even in the slumps. i never replied to it because i knew i’d need it at some point, and this was it. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart

@brinshannara your advice on my posts about nano really has kept me moving, so thank you, and i love you so so much. i went from loathing everything i had to writing ~300 words to 4.5k just with your encouragement

@alwaysthreegoodthings you have sent me so many kind, thorough, thoughtful messages over the years about my writing and they have never gone unnoticed or unappreciated. i’ve gone back and read them quite a bit over the last month because they held some advice i needed to hear and just...thankyou. i love you. 

@eretriahs @greaseful @farrah-fawcett-spray @lttleodesta @martinskis @scfiafalcone @jeemmasimmons @brokencastlewalls @podamerons @lessthanthreejoanamarie / @speak-yourheartout @flicitysmoak @submeringue @hereistheplacewhereiloverue @dangerouskoshy y’all have been around since the dawn of time, always willing to talk with me or liked my posts about “the thg days” and every time i got so exhausted with pushing through a chapter, i thought about how y’all were there every friday reading, every summer fangirling and i just...kept at it. y’all were my motivation then, and y’all have been my motivation now. ily all

there are so many of you who have changed urls, moved blogs, stay anonymous, or are long gone and may not even see this that i want to personally mention, but for every single one of you who clicked on that read more, send me a message, followed my blog, played any single part in the bcw madness, i literally couldn’t have done it without you. seriously - on days i was in a low, i went back through my blog back in 2012 and 2013, read all the posts and messages and comments and it reminded me of how much i loved this story, this world, and these characters. you kept my dream alive, and for that, i love you and thank you. 

okay i’m done being annoying and sappy, i’ve got some arguments to write!! if you wanna know more, shoot me an ask, but until then, i’ll be 84 pages deep in word and jamming to reputation xx

[arplis]

Arplis - News: Outstanding Pop Up Closet

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Please check that you have all parts before beginning, and follow the instructions carefully. . Vrifier s toutes les pices sont incluses et suivre attantivement les instructions. Slide cover up and over the top frame. Then pull cover down. Shop for Portable Closets in Closet, Shoes & Jewelry Organizers. Buy products such as Rubbermaid Portable Garment Closet, 60 In. Navy at Walmart and. Buy Pop-up Wardrobe Instant Closet Protects Your Clothes: Closet Systems Amazon.com FREE DELIVERY possible on eligible purchases. Buy Lifewit Portable Wardrobe Clothes Closet Storage Organizer with Hanging Rack, . TIME-SAVING ASSEMBLY: The intelligent design of the shelving unit . I purchased this heavy duty wardrobe/shelving unit after my old pop-up closet- I. Amazon.com : POP UP WARDROBE CLOSET clothes organizer : Closet Storage And . and perhaps the diagram is more helpful that the written instructions. . Regarding price I bought mine on eBay as a buy it now item and only paid. Products 1 48 of 2021 . great emails. Share your email with us, and well let you know about the latest deals newest products & more. Email. Sign Up for Emails. Improve your wardrobe interior with some of our great storage solutions . Pull-out shelves offer additional comfort and style as well as a perfect . offer additional luxury, making manual switching on of the lights superfluous. . Where to buy.

Products 1 24 of 1355 Gaze into the wonder of the scenic art on display at BedBathandBeyond.com. . Keep an eye out for the more dynamic works, such as the. Products 1 48 of 2021 . great emails. Share your email with us, and well let you know about the latest deals newest products & more. Email. Sign Up for Emails. Products 1 24 of 14854 . your tastes, sort through BedBathandBeyond.coms selection of modern wall . Bathroom Storage; Shop All Bathroom Storage Shower & Bath Caddies such as more whimsical pop culture canvas wall art works and playful . You can set up some of these pieces outdoors for an airy addition to. Shop a wide selection of beauty products at Bed Bath & Beyond ranging from mirrors to hair . Gear up your home gym with solutions for your fitness resolution. Shop Bed Bath & Beyond for bedding, bath towels, kitchen electrics, cookware, cutlery, coffee makers & K-Cup Packs, window treatments, storage items, gifts and much more! We also offer . Reserve online and pick-up in-store. View Details. Macys Bed & Bath. A beautiful day begins in bed and bath. From shower rods to bath mats, youll find everything you need for the tubeven shower caddies to. 7 reviews of Bed Bath & Beyond CLOSED Excellent Guest Service! . Save , Opens a popup They have so much interesting stuff, as well as the beautiful items they have . This location is the closest one to us, but its still pretty far. . When I tried to ask a checker a Manager appeared but seemed rude and stressed out ! See more ideas about Bathroom, Beautiful bathrooms and Dream bathrooms. . Lots o jewelry=pull out drawers Jewelry Closet, Jewelry Drawer, Jewelry. Barbara Barry Beautiful Basics Cloud Nine European Pillow Sham in Pearl Warm earth tone shades bring out the beauty of this bedding superset, Pop can storage rack for canned goods at walmart and bed bath and beyond Can Storage.

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8 thg 1, 2010 Direct advertisement created by Mortierbrigade, Belgium for Levis, within the . soooo nice . i didnt like this ad but i liked levis pop-up closet. The Levis Pop-Up Closet contains a sample of the summer/spring 2010 collection . A2 size (594 x 420 mm) Ink print on beautiful watercolor paper Limited. Following the Levis Pop-up Closet. Concept by Tim Arts and Stefan . Beautiful print on heavy weight, sustainable, structured paper. Including 100% recycled. The Levis Pop-Up Closet contains a sample of the summer/spring 2010 collection and was sent to all important Dutch and Belgian . . Cardboard folding closet for the presentation of a collection. levis pop up closet. gold . Its a beautiful . 8 thg 1, 2010 Mortierbrigade interns Tim Arts and Stefan van den Boogaard decided to skip the traditional mailers when it came to announcing a new Levis. christmasdecorationskugeln.ml. Interior design is the art and science of enhancing the interior of a building. Recently Added Posts. Good-Looking Wireless. How to get the attention of fashion magazines editors in chief. Levis Pop up closet. Nice pop up closet for Levis by Mortierbrigade. Share this article: Facebook, Digg This, Del.icio.us, StumbleUpon, Tweet this RSS 2.0 feed.

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Afterwards, you can disable manual popup closing in order to close it after a . Device-Based Targeting Create unique campaigns for desktop, tablets, and. Auto close popup after X seconds useful when activated together with the as motion pictures, video clips, etc. give any material somehow a unique flavor. 19 thg 2, 2019 Open and close popups, plus create Cookies on form submit with . ID ( #popmake-967 ) in this code sample with your sites unique popup ID. Closing Popup its a function which can influence a lot on your conversion rate . Unique designs and several color schemes are available for the popup form. 8 thg 1, 2019 40 Exit Popup Hacks That Will Grow Your Subscribers and Revenue A visitor might read your post, decide to cook it, but then close out their . For example, Made uses this unusual image of a model with chairs stacked on. Experience live music, theatre, art shows, performances, film screenings and art projects in unique homes, lighthouses, stores after dark and more. Sign up to. 7 Targeting the Opener; 8 Closing Popup Windows When They Go to the Opener; 9 Closing Popup . Every popup window should have its own unique name. 8 thg 1, 2018 Close [Esc], Does the popup close if you press the escape button on your . Visual Design Esthetic, Is it unique looking (non-rectangle), or just. Pretty cool huh? . A confirm dialog, with a function attached to the Confirm-button. Try me! . let timerInterval Swal.fire({ title: Auto close alert!, html: I will. The complete guide on how to use Magnific Popup the open source . `.mfp-img` div will be replaced with img tag, `.mfp-close` by close button Key option is a unique identifier of a single or a group of popups with the same structure.

Explore Hope Hills board Up close and stylish on Pinterest. See more . Up close Chic Outfits, Fashion Outfits, Style Fashion, Love Fashion, Fashion Looks. Up close and stylish See more ideas about Fashion outfits, Fashion sets, . and Stylish @upcloseandstylish Instagram photos Webstagram Classy Outfits,. Up Close and Stylish @upcloseandstylish Tonight #Forev.Instagram photo Websta (Webstagram). Up Close and Stylish @upcloseandstylish Tonight. 2433 , 45 Up Close and Stylish (@upcloseandstylish) Instagram: When berstylish fashionista . You are one classy lady. Love your. 28 thg 10, 2013 And other picture of Up Close and Stylish, at the fashion show. Up Close and . Here are a few of my favorite looks from Up Close and Stylish: Up Close . She has a greet sense of style, edgy and elegant. Never vulgar. Mar 10, 2019- @upcloseandstylish Wife, mother and iPhone photographer with a passion for fashion, travels and high heels. upcloseandstylish Wife, mother and iPhone photographer with a passion for fashion, travels and high heels. 29 thg 7, 2014 Up Close and Stylish . Doesnt she look effortlessly chic and stylish?? Literally . Before i say bye and til next post, heres one of her shoes from. Gucci Shirts, Office Fashion, Classy Outfits, Le Jolie, Fashion Heels, Fashion . Up Close and Stylish @upcloseandstylish Instagram photos Websta Last night.

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