#letter 21

[add1ictwithapen]

here’s the letter typed out so you can read it more easily :)

[staytiny-dreams]

beneath the christmas lights (c.sb x reader)

pairing: choi soobin x gn! reader

genre: non!idol au, freshly established relationship, seasonal fluff

warnings: zero, reader has a broken home, but it's not detailed, choi soobin being cute, angst if you squint (barely), sooo fluffy

wc: 1.8k

note: i don't like christmas fics, but we visited christmas lights at sunset while i was in my soobin feels so this was born. sorry if the formatting is weird this is the first time i've done this on my laptop. stay safe these holidays everyone

christmas time is confusing. for some, it is a joyous time of year filled with love and presents, decorations, family and friends. for others it is just a reminder of what they’re missing, whether it be family, friends or even money.

for you, christmas serves as a reminder of what you once had, and of what you’ve lost. 

yelling echoes through the bottom story of your house, your step mother’s shrieks piercing any peace you might’ve had as your father picks another fight.

sighing, you grip your headphones tight around your ears, knuckles tense with the force of your grip and with a flick of your thumb, the volume of the music surrounding you is bumped up.

you almost don’t hear it, but the vibrations of your phone against your thigh drags your attention down to your lap.

bin: (y/n)

before you can even type out a response another message comes through.

bin: i’m outside

you frown down at your screen, brows scrunching together. rather than sending through the question marks you’re tempted to, you pull your headphones off and place them gently on the keyboard of your laptop.

with your headphones gone you feel an immediate wave of cold wash over you. standing alone in your bedroom, you can once again hear the persisting argument occurring one floor down. despite the blue light from your laptop, the warm light from the fairy lights strung up around the room and the barely setting sun, you feel shrouded in darkness.

with familiar ease, you round your bed and approach the window, sheer curtains already having been pulled back.

sitting on your verge, two wheels on the curb and lights shining, is soobin’s car. through the tint on his windows you can faintly make out soobin, smiling up at you, giving you a shy wave.

y/n: ???

you replay your last few conversations with him in your head, trying to remember if you’d made any plans with him you may have forgotten about, but nothing comes to mind.

it’s christmas eve, shouldn’t he be with his family?

another vibration and a small chime sounds, effectively bringing your focus back to your messages with the boy in your front yard.

bin: just come down

with a huff loud enough to hide your smile, you slide on your sneakers, slip out of your bedroom and down the stairs.

while your parents are wrapped up in picking each other apart, it’s easy to pass by them, no questions asked, grabbing your house keys from the hook in the kitchen and quietly exiting through the front door.

“what are you doing here?” you ask as soon as the car door has been closed behind you.

“do you trust me?” is all he says and you let out a snort, something somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.

“absolutely not.” 

he mumbles an offended ‘okay’ that you can only just catch while he is turned away from you, rummaging around in the backseat. you roll your eyes affectionately at his response and simply face forward.

the sun has properly begun its descent now, yellow and pink clouds are scattered across the darkening sky. you find your chest tightening at the pretty sight and with a start you realise the feeling bubbling inside you at the view is akin to the feeling that bubbles up when you look at soobin.

a long groan startles you back to reality as soobin sits back in his seat, a small white and green bag with oil stains spreading across the bottom edge is clutched in his right hand. he stretches his arm out to you, the bag dangling between the two of you as you stare sceptically at it.

“what is this?” you ask yet reach out for the bag without waiting for his answer.

unfolding the bag, you peek inside and gasp at what lay in there.

“soobin what…” you begin to ask again, but you are silenced when you meet his eyes. his gaze rests on you with an emotion swimming through his irises that you can’t quite understand.

instead of once again questioning his actions, you reach for the donut, from your favourite local bakery he had brought and pull on it with both hands.

the soft dough comes apart easily and you smile at soobin, holding one half of the donut out to him. he beams back at you, his dimples igniting a warmth in your heart that soobin seems to carry with him.

“no (y/n) i bought it for you, it’s your favourite dessert.” you shrug at him and push the half donut even closer, the cinnamon brushing against his lips.

“and you’re my favourite person, you’ll go well together.” you state as if it is a well known fact. at this, soobin blushes a bright red and turns away, finally turning the engine back on.

the soft guitar that had been playing since you entered the car pauses as his radio restarts with the engine, then promptly continues its soothing tune. 

“hmph.” you let a small, huffy laugh slip past your lips. while soobin focuses his attention on driving off the curb of your front yard, he still finds it in him to question your laughter.

“nothing. i was just listening to this song inside is all.” you admit, your cheeks warm. it feels silly to be flustered by such a small thing, but everything about soobin causes your body to run hot and your heart to pound.

soobin doesn’t respond, instead opting to focus on the road as he exits the cul-de-sac your house sits at the back of as a means to ignore the warmth in his own cheeks.

“soobin! what are you- where are you taking me?” you yelp at him as your own house shrinks away in the mirror. when you look down from the mirror, back at soobin, you find him already staring at you. his eyes are dark, bar the same unknown emotion swirling through them, mouth set in a straight line and you know to take his next words seriously.

“do you trust me?” he asks and you swallow, your throat tight under the intensity of his gaze.

“absolutely.” at this, you are rewarded with his dimples as he smiles to himself, eyes back on the road as he finally turns off of your street and onto the main road.

settling into your seat, your arm rests on the centre console, palm facing upwards. your head lolls to the side, watching through the window that soobin must have wound down before your entrance.

the breeze sweeps over you and within minutes, as you had hoped, soobin’s arm joins yours on the centre console, his large hand tentatively reaching for your own. you open your hand more, allowing him to intertwine his fingers with your own, matching smiles spreading across both of your lips at the gesture.

“the beach?” you turn your head away from the window to look back at soobin upon recognising the route he was driving. his sweet smile morphs into something cheekier and he squeezes your hand with his own.

“i thought you trusted me, hm?” you huff for the nth time tonight at his cryptic response yet your smile doesn’t waver.

then, a split second before the lights come into view, it clicks. a childlike excitement you thought you had left behind awakens in you, your heart sitting in your throat and you aren’t sure if it’s because of the christmas light displays, or the boy who drove you to see them.

soobin slows the car right down as he drives up the strip of beach houses whose owners had gone all out. 

the two of you are lit up by reds, greens and blues as you crawl down the beautifully lit street. you feel as if your eyes couldn’t get any wider, taking in every possible detail you can from each and every display. 

a santa here, a merry christmas there, a snowflake or two, glowing snowmen, lines of candy canes and for a second you felt twelve years old again. your mum on one side of you, your dad on the other looking up at your own christmas display just a few short years before everything fell apart.

tears well in your eyes as you think of your home now, cold and dark despite the sun only just setting and the warmth that christmas was supposed to bring.

as soobin reaches the end of the street, he simply pulls over. a hand on your cheek brings you back to the present, your head whipping over to face soobin as a few tears spill over.

“baby…” soobin pouts at your tearful expression and your heart clenches in return, not before skipping a beat at the term of endearment.

with one of his hands wrapped around your own, the other covering your cheek and his eyes boring into your own, you find yourself drowning in that nostalgic warmth you used to associate with christmas. you squeezed his hand lightly and his pout shifted into a smile as quickly as your tears had fallen.

soobin’s smile felt like the sun itself was shining down on you, half of his face was lit by the christmas lights behind you and the other half by the setting sun. 

“thankyou, bin.” you manage to get out and his smile widens.

“don’t thank me, sweetheart.” he strokes your cheek as he speaks, brushing away any residual moisture from your tears.

“don’t tell me what to do.” you try to snap, but it comes out weak as a couple more tears slip down your cheeks, only to be caught by soobin’s waiting hand.

“there you are!” he teases, landing a poke to your cheek as he chuckles at your attempt at your usual stern tone.

“i’m serious, dumbass. i…” soobin’s breath catches as your heart rises up your throat at the words that have been fighting to get out.

“i love you,” soobin rushes out before you can work up the nerve.

“what?” you ask, thrown off by his abrupt interruption. 

“sorry, i didn’t take you out here to tell you this. i just wanted to help you… i know, christmas can be hard for you sometimes and i- but i do. i love you (y/n).” you watch with a fond smile as he rambles, seemingly letting his nerves get the best of him.

“i love you too, dummy.” a pout takes over his face and he leans in close, breath fanning over your face. you lean in to press your lips to his, but in a flash, the hand the was on your cheek is now covering your lips. your eyes cross ever so slightly as you stare his hand down indignantly.

“uh uh, try that again, dummy.” he says, unable to keep the smile off his face despite his firm tone. 

with a roll of your eyes, you grab his hand and move it back to your cheek for him.

“i love you too, bin.” you offer and with an excited nod of confirmation, soobin leans back in, obtrusions long gone and finally presses his lips to your own.

[marvelousbelladonna]

Though Turn Undead has been very useful, it also affects Laudna, How does FCG feel about the spell's affect on his undead friend?

[detco-hell]

wet cat cone

[movie 21 - The Crimson Love Letter]

[dailykafka]

I was an anxious child, and yet I am sure I was also disobedient, as children are, I am sure that Mother spoilt me too, but I cannot believe that I was particularly difficult to handle, I cannot believe that you, by directing a friendly word my way, by quietly taking my hand or by giving me a kind look, could not have got everything you wanted from me.

Franz Kafka, letter to his father

[every-grelle-sutcliff]

glad to see that s*baciels are outing themselves by reblogging the same post w the same infamous ships tag

[maomao9jinshi]

From Movie 21: The Crimson Love Letter

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Artaxerxes' Letter for Ezra

I, King Artaxerxes, decree to all the treasurers west of the Euphrates: Whatever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the Law of the God of heaven, may require of you, it must be provided promptly — Ezra 7:21 | Berean Standard Bible (BSB) The Holy Bible, Berean Standard Bible is produced in cooperation with Bible Hub, Discovery Bible, OpenBible.com, and the Berean Bible Translation Committee. This text of God’s Word has been dedicated to the public domain. Cross References: Ezra 7:1; Ezra 7:6; Ezra 7:22; Ezra 8:36; Nehemiah 2:7; Daniel 6:26

[batemanofficial]

twenty three years of trying to convince my mom that im autistic and the thing that finally did it was explaining synesthesia to her. like just the concept of synesthesia and that i have it

[sovereignstim]

Page 21 -> Link

💛 ✉ ⭐ - 💌 x 💌 - 💛 ✉ ⭐

[bleachbleachbleach]

We're informes that young Byakuya was an ambitious, confident and such an energetic boy. What do you think the turning point responsible for the extreme change of his personality? I mean he went through a lot like losing his parent, had to disobey the law of the clan by marrying Hisana, then in the end he had to lost her too. Also being a noble clan head was silently such a pain. But what do you think is the most prominent cause? Or is it simply 'climbing into adulthood'?

I feel like if you were to ask Byakuya, he’d give you some well-rehearsed line about comportment befitting the 28th Head of the Kuchiki Clan and Captain of the 6th Division.

If you were Rukia and he caught you whispering something with Ukitake about Hisana, he probably wouldn’t disabuse you of whatever notion you and your captain had concocted.

if you were Byakuya, you probably wouldn’t hesitate to name some specific, discrete reason or set of reasons you are the way that you are.

But I’d resist naming a specific, discrete turning point—primarily to resist Byakuya’s inclinations, because what has he done to deserve those, but also because if Byakuya genuinely had his way then refusing gray areas and being hardline about how your life is going to go and what you should do to atone for your more whimsical decisions and what rules you must promise to uphold—that all would have worked out for him, in ways that it clearly didn’t. Because that’s not how life works.

Which isn’t to say that flashpoint moments don’t exist, or that there aren’t life occurrences that can have massive, traceable effects on the person you are, or become. Of course they can. But I don’t think Byakuya is the way that he is because of X, specifically, or even Y.

No matter what he says, or even personally believes.

I do think part of it is simply being older than we saw him in TBTP; but I’d hesitate to draw a complete picture of what Byakuya was like as a teenager from the one instance that we saw. He was in the yard, in the middle of a training session, and he was being terrorized by Yoruichi. He’s hyped up on endorphins and acting like a brat because he’s being treated like a brat by another adult brat. At that age, Byakuya was probably still spending a bunch of time shadowing clan meetings and doing calligraphy and writing dense, pedantic poetry about raccoons or shikai or whatever. He was probably also doing a lot of "traditionally Byakuya, as we know him" things, in the same way that Byauya, as we know him, still takes time out of his day to do completely insane things (more on that later. a numbered list, in fact).

How much of this is publicly available (or isn’t) does probably have a lot to do with being Clan Head. And sure, Clan Head is a role that he performs, but I think he believes in this whole clan head thing with every fiber of his being; like, he’s method. He’s the gonzo journalist of being clan head. he *is* this thing. And if there are parts of that role that are not desirable to him (I’m sure that there are) I don’t think he thinks about them as being a pain. They simply are. They are, and they are his, and he has never imagined a reality where they are not. We talk about shinigami being defined by their job but the man is the clan head, irreducibly and inextricably. 

I think he’s discovered, between TBTP and now, that to be less knowable is to be powerful, in almost any situation he can imagine. Not that he doesn’t love a good opportunity to pontificate, but that’s like the reward at the end of a successful round of impassivity. Plus his pontifications are more allusive than genuinely educational, so it’s really just more of the same, in a different key. (When Urahara infodumps, he likes seeing the shape of your eyes change, and all the little microexpressions that are tied like puppet-strings to all the small epiphanies happening in your brain. When Hitsugaya infodumps, he wants you do have information and, ideally, have it correctly. But when Byakuya infodumps, he’s performing a philosophical treatise and it doesn’t really matter whether it’s parsable by you, the audience, or not.)

And of course I think he’s also been shaped by his time with Hisana and his time without her; with and without his father (and one assumes, his mother; with and without Rukia. But there’s no way to measure or organize these different influences and isolate the variables and during his designated moments allotted to introspection he’s probably not completely thrilled by that. So he suffers, as do we all. XD

I also think part of him is just naturally That Way; he’s a born, organic weirdo; a standoffish strangeman. That’s in addition to havng grown up and found out that it’s smarter, more strategic, and more effective in terms of getting what he wants to be a little more Enigma and a little less Boy Shouts at Cat. 

On the other hand, we’ve definitely seen him be about 10000000000000000x more bananas in the current canon timeline than he ever could have dreamed in that one TBTP flashback:

1) He tried to imprison his own VC for losing to Ichigo, a proposal so insane every single other person was like, "well, that’s fucking stupid, so we’ll be ignoring that" even though technically he probably does have that power, since Captains can run their division however they want.

2) He almost killed his own VC in the middle of an active invasion, for reasons that only vaguely had anything to do with actually responding to said invasion.

I’ll give him a pass on fighting Ichigo, because technically that was his job? maybe? and sure, he did it in an ineffective way but that tracks with the overall Gotei strategic plan, so.

4) Immediately leapt to slashing his own tendons, deep in enemy territory, his only fallback plan being Hanatarou’s ability to survive and do anything about those tendons afterward.

5) Fought Zaraki deep in the middle of enemy territory, with Yammy still in play, in the middle of a war that YOU KNOW WHAT, THEY PROBABLY COULD’VE BEEN BACK FOR (not that it would’ve mattered, but) if they weren’t fucking around in the desert together

And that all happened in the same like, four months!

One of the scenes that I absolutely love from the Beast Swords Arc is someone commenting on how surprisingly baffling Senbonzakura’s personality was, in contrast to Byakuya’s. And Kyouraku and Ukitake don’t belabor the point, but they’re kinda like "weeee~ll hahaha" and I think that’s an incredibly accurate non-assessment of who Byauya both was and is.

I don’t think he secretly wants to be a drunk buffoon and his being Clan Head is the only thing holding him back from living his frat boy truth. I think he’s already living his truth because, from his POV, what else would he be doing? He’s Kuchiki Byakuya. Whatever he’s doing is whatever he intends to be doing.

However, I also believe that many people around him don’t actually see (have been trained not to? don’t know him well enough to? are politely pretending not to have seen?) part of the truth he’s living—the part that is that bananas streak in him, very much alive and well.

[add1ictwithapen]

we now have the full letter!!

[marvelousbelladonna]

Quick Deadpool of who could die

[daughterofsarenrae]

To this day i have no idea why mid-breakdown-julia decided she HAD to learn how to cross stitch junior year of college but thank god she did. Such a good gateway drug into fiber arts

[dailykafka]

In any case, we were so different, and in our differences such a danger to each other that, had anyone wanted to predict how I, the slowly developing child, and you, the fully-grown man, would behave towards one another, they could have presumed that you would simply trample me underfoot until nothing of me remained.

— Franz Kafka, letter to his father