#li'l cheese

[mediumsizetex]

Mlp sit on a horse by Sockiepuppetry

[theknucklehead]

Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich being cute and perfect together.

[mylittlestims]

Stimboard for Lil Cheese with confetti and cupcake stims

Li'l Cheese Stimboard with Confetti & Cupcakes for Anon

(X) (X) (X)

(X) (X) (X)

(X) (X) (X)

[necronyancy]

'Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile, yes I do.

NORMAN and his best friend The Big Little Cheese

[fractiouslemonofficial]

Unless you have this month’s Patreon merch, you can never truly be SUPER RAD. You can only be regular rad. And that’s no world I want to live in. So do the right thing and JOIN TODAY or be forever doomed to a life of average radness.

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FRACTIOUSLEMON’S SUPER SECRET CHOCOLATEY FUN FORT

Start at the Beginning || Ask A Question

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[coolclaytony]

Li'l Cheese: "Hey mom, do we have an— HOLY HAYRIDE! 😱"

Pinkie Pie: *Casualy drinking a beverage while conspicuously having no legs* "Oh hiyah Cheesy! 😄"

Li'l Cheese: "What the hay happened to your legs! 😨"

Pinkie Pie: "Hmm? Oh yeah this. Yeah, I accidentally broke all of them falling down the stairs, so you're dad's at the hospital fetching me new ones! 😏"

Li'l Cheese: "... W-wha—? 😟"

Pinkie Pie: "Oh did I never tell you? All my legs are prosthetic. Turns out eating a lot sugar is a good way to get collick! Incidentally, I haven't gotten to enjoy a caramel in over 9 years! *sips drink* Rhe doctor said I should've been dead decades ago, ain't that crazy! 😝"

[dimbulb-brony]

Rarishypie, I think?

Sequel to this comic. ^^ Probably the last one.

[midnightmoonbeams]

TH==DANNI= drew Judd and Li'l Judd in cute vampire costumes. ivorny drew a rather fear-y scene. Devector drew a dynamic scene, captioned in stylish font: "Say cheese!" GSstandard drew Shiver and Frye hanging out with a cute inkling girl.

From October 30th, 2022

[warmspice]

are there any groceries you’ve been into recently? :0

Ohhhh was literally thinking about frozen vegetables today. And corn. Really a big corn fan. Just made soup and yknow what it could've really benefitted from? Corn. But I don't have any rn so no corn :(

[sockiepuppetry]

some old li'l cheese stuff I drew

I know a lot of these have already been reposted here from my deviantart, but I just wanted to add them here

[loveephia]

:¨ ·.· ¨: osamu miya's valentine special.

`· . ꔫ sypnosis: in which you ask osamu how to bake a cake for your crush. osamu, heartbroken, willingly teaches you without him knowing that he was your crush all along.

content: (🦷) tooth-rotting fluff, minor hurt with comfort, osamu thinking his love was unrequited, reader is a cheeky one, inaccurate recipe.

⚠ warning/s: none.

my HQ masterlist. (valentine's edition)

"i need help." was the first thing you said to osamu today. "wow, not even a "good mornin'"?" he jokes. you only continued to look at him with a serious expression, which meant that you weren't in a joking mood. osamu gulped. you could be really intimidating sometimes..

"..what do you need my help fer?"

"i need you to teach me how to bake a cake for valentine's day." you admitted. now, atsumu, the elder twin who happened to be sitting right next to osamu, was intrigued. "a cake?" atsumu chuckles, "you gonna give that to yer li'l crush, or what?"

the way your eyes widened with the innocent pair of your red cheeks broke osamu's heart. atsumu's eyes, too, were widened at the unexpected reaction from you. he looked over at the younger twin with sympathy, knowing how he's been madly in love with you ever since middle school. yeah, they fight like tyranical pigs, but at the end of the day, they're still family.

osamu coughed, trying to clear the sudden dryness in his throat. "oh— yeah. okay. sure, i'll teach ya." he assures you, and the way your face lit up was just adorable. but the aching fact that you were this ecstatic to bake a cake for someone that wasn't him was just painful.

"is after school alright?" you asked, and osamu nodded. once you left to go to your own classroom, osamu looked over at atsumu with a wounded expression.

"told ya she didn't like me." he mumbles, "i'd like the three pudding packs we bet on, please."

"..got it."

time skip.

you walked home with the miya twins. since osamu would be teaching you how to bake, atsumu wanted to tag along "just for the fun of it." he claims.

but atsumu had a plan.

it's called:

"make-y/n-fall-for-osamu-by-being-extra-annoying."

he thinks it's a brilliant name. spot on.

you unlocked the door to your house and showed the twins where the shoe rack was. once they took their shoes off, you dropped two pairs of house slippers, letting them switch shoes and rest on the couch. "wait here, i'll just go and change." you excused yourself from the twins to put on some more comfortable clothes.

the house was tidy. there was a wall of framed pictures that caught osamu's eye. most of them were of you when you were younger. there was one of you with a pet, one of you smiling with a missing tooth, another with you eating ice cream, and plenty more. it made osamu unknowingly smile.

atsumu cringed.

sure, he's trying to make you fall for osamu, but that doesn't mean he's magically immune from the lovesick glances of his brother.

"okay, i'm back!" you returned in a nice set of pajamas and your hair tied into low pigtails. "so cute!" both the twins thought as they clenched their chests.

"i want to bake a heart-shaped red velvet cake so that it fits in with the theme of valentine's. do you think he'd like something like that?" you asked osamu with a cheeky little smile, hinting toward your crush.

"it'll be from you. of course he'd like it." osamu thought out loud, and your jaw drops momentarily. "o- oh! you think so?" you said, bashfully rubbing the back of your head. "yes. i'm sure of it." he replied.

silence. it was so overbearing that atsumu had to hold in his own cough.

"d- do you have any cream cheese? it'd be good for the frostin'." he asked, trying to clear the tension in the air. you looked inside your fridge and found two blocks of cream cheese. "mhm!"

"okay. let's wash our hands, then i'll tell you what to do." he said. you went to the kitchen, and osamu looks over at atsumu, who was watching the two interact before him with a smirk. "don't do anythin' stupid." osamu said before following you into the kitchen. "ha?! like i'd do anythin' stupid, stupid!" atsumu exclaimed in offense.

time skip.

you held a white, clean, apron in front of you with a gleeful little smile. "y'know it's not really necessary to wear one, right? especially since we're just doin' this at home." osamu says.

you nod it off, "yes, i know, but i've always wanted to wear one of these!" you tie the laces comfortably around your nape and you then reach for the ones near your waist next.

osamu reaches over and ties it for you. "is this okay?" he asks. you nod, your heart beating erratically against your chest at the kind gesture.

"you two gotta knock it off with the lovey-doveyness, it's givin' me a headache." atsumu says, and osamu snaps his head at the older twin with an exasperated expression "nevermind, i think my head is fine." atsumu quickly replies.

time skip.

you laid all of the ingredients, needed utensils, measuring cups, bowls, and appliances out on your kitchen table gracefully. now, you were just staring at osamu for his instructions. unbeknownst to you, osamu found your expression right now very cute.

"so.. what now?" you asked.

"right— okay."

"focus, 'samu. i get that y/n is cute & all, but y'gotta teach her sooner or later." atsumu said from the dining table. he just wanted to watch, and.. perhaps commentate.

what atsumu said brought both your faces aflame. "shut yer trap, 'tsumu. if you're just here to watch us, go home." osamu scolded. "no way! m'definitely helpin'." atsumu raised his own hands as if he's been caught, "just not in the way you think." atsumu says under his breath.

time skip.

you're trying, keyword: trying, to whisk the egg whites together, but it's not getting to the meringue texture you're aiming for. osamu sees you struggling and decides to help you. he stands closely behind you and puts his large palm over your own hand that's holding the whisk. "like this." he mutters lowly as he demonstrates, using your hand to whisk the egg whites. soon enough, you notice that the texture is finally changing!

"woah! osamu, you're a genius!" you cheered, your eyes sparkling at the clear difference.

osamu smiles softly. this feels oddly domestic..

"if you both keep standin' close like that, i'm gonna start thinkin' you're husband and wife." atsumu interrupts your sweet moment with a fact, and osamu is quick to distance himself from you. "will you be quiet for just once in yer damned life..?" osamu murmured, ignoring the sudden rise in the temperature.

atsumu shrugs, "m'just sayin'!"

time skip.

the cake is finally finished. osamu let you deal with the designs as you wanted it to be special and from the heart. it ended up being prim and perfect, a cake that screamed you. just like how you wanted.

"thank you for helping me, 'samu. and thank you 'tsumu for.. coming over?" you expressed your gratitude in a mildly uncertain way. "it was nothin'." atsumu grinned as if he had just accomplished something great.

he didn't even know if his plan worked, but he did enjoy watching you and osamu interact today.

"see ya tomorrow, y/n!" atsumu bids his goodbyes, and he's out of sight. now, you're left with osamu. "i— uhm.. see you tomorrow, 'samu!" you squeaked, and before osamu could reply, you closed the door on him.

osamu sighs. his twin was probably being too pushy with the teasing today, and he must've made things weird between you two.

which is what he thinks.

thanks to atsumu, you're rolling around on the floor like a child, giggling over the number of comments he made earlier about you and osamu looking all cute together.

while you couldn't wait for valentine's, osamu was practically dreading it.

time skip.

you can tell that osamu has been avoiding you. the way he dodged your attempts of hugging him or the way he didn't answer when you called out his name.

you didn't know exactly why he was doing this, but you had a small idea.

it was the end of the day, and you saw osamu walking home alone. you asked atsumu to stay behind for a bit so as not to ruin the moment.

"boo!" you attempted to spook osamu, and since he looked like he was deep in thought, you succeeded. he flinched and looked behind him to see the one and only culprit. you.

"oh, y/n." he recognizes your cute face, "did you give the cake to yer crush yet? how'd it go?" he asked one question after another, even though he really didn't want to know the answer.

"nope. he kept avoiding me for some reason." you said. osamu only hummed in sympathy.

"but.. now that i have him here, alone, i was thinking that he'd stop avoiding me now?" you brought the boxed cake to osamu's view, and his eyes widened.

"wh—"

"osamu miya, i like you." you finally confess, "actually, i've.. loved you since middle school."

osamu mentally facepalms. his feelings were requited since middle school?! he wasted so many years holding himself back from intertwining fingers, kissing you, and most importantly, showering you in all the affection you deserve. what an idiot!

but this time, he doesn't waste any more of his given seconds.

he cups your cheek and kisses you.

the moment atsumu hears about this, he's going to be boasting about the fact that he brought you two together in your wedding ceremony. even though he most absolutely did not.

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[kouchabu-archive]

Hajime Shino 4☆ Feature Scout 2

Title: President Grass and Pizza

Writer: Suika

Season: Summer

NOTE: I EXPLICITLY PROHIBIT USAGE OF ANY PART OF MY TRANSLATIONS ON ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO AI.

-----------

Rinne: (Hehe, today’s my lucky day!)

(Who knew I'd bag a big win in the slot machines today! Ain't that enough to make up for my losses this month?)

(I thought that of course I'd come home and celebrate, but I pro'lly got carried away and bought too many ingredients.)

(Well, not that I need to worry about leftovers when Niki's right there.)

(I gotta get back quick and let Niki—… Hm? That guy over there is…)

Hajime Shino-kun from Ra*bits, ain't it?

Hajime: Amagi-senpai? Hello~

Rinne: He~ya. Thrillin' to know that you remember this li'l ol' me's name.

So, what're ya hidin’ in the grass for? Up to somethin’ sneaky?

Are you buryin’ treasure or somethin'? Ya look like a little puppy digging like that~

Hajime: Oh, no. I just came to pick these up.

Rinne: Huh. Your bag has…some leaves and grass?

Hajime: That's right! I got quite a lot of them ♪

Rinne: Pickin' up wild grass, huh… Why?

Hajime: ? I'm going to eat them, of course?

Rinne: ………Ah, I got it. I can see what you're up to now.

That's for a TV show, isn't it? You should've told me earlier~

Hajime: Oh, this isn't for TV though? It's just that I got a craving for it since it's been a while since I ate these so I went here and got some.

Rinne: ………………

(From what I remember, aren't Ra*bits supposed to be a popular unit?)

(Well, not as much as UNDEAD or Akatsuki from the same agency but… each member seems to be goin’ strong in their own way, right?)

(So to see him here picking up grass like this… Never thought they're in deep shit that they can't even properly keep their stomachs full.)

'S that so? But ain't Seisoukan fully stocked with food? There's also lots of snacks in the ES break room, yeah?

If you're havin' trouble finding something to eat, ain't those better places to search in?

If anyone sees their precious idol foraging for grass in a place like this, that's not really a good look with the public, y'know?

Hajime: Trouble finding something to eat…?

Ah, no! You've got it wrong! I'm not gathering grass like this because I'm having trouble with money!

When I got on the phone with my family, we happened to talk about how we used to eat grass a lot when I was younger.

And then I just suddenly craved that nostalgic taste so I came here to pick these up. I normally eat properly, so please don't worry that much about it~

Rinne: Oh, so that's it? You made me uncharacteristically nervous for a sec there.

Hajime: I'm sorry for making you worry.

Rinne: Nah, don't mind it. My fault for jumpin' to conclusions so fast.

In fact, those grass growin' out there are delicious too. I also used to forage for them back when I was a li'l boy so I get ya, Hajime-kun.

I even used to go to the mountains to pick up some edible wild plants.

Thanks to that, I got some basic stuff down when it comes to edible grass. This one and this one can be eaten. This one's not. This one's edible too, but it's not really good.

Hajime: Wow! You didn't miss any! You're really knowledgeable about them!

Rinne: Hehe, told ya right? This ol' me won't ever lie ♪

This one's tasty if you blanch it a little. And this one's something that only Niki could munch on.

Hajime: Huh?! Shiina-senpai can eat this? I had an upset stomach when I ate this one by mistake.

Rinne: Yeah, same here. After eating it, I felt like dyin' the next day—couldn't move at all. But that guy's all fine and dandy.

Maybe it's got somethin' that only his stomach can digest. He's the one who cooked it, after all.

Hajime: Shiina-senpai is really good with cooking, isn't he? ♪

Rinne: Yeah. That guy's real good with his hands when it comes to food. Everything he makes is delicious. When I get home, I'll have him cook for me; that's why I got a lot of stuff here with me.

Hajime: Oh, that's indeed a lot. Let's see… Cheese, ketchup… There's also salami and basil… Are you planning to make pizza?

Rinne: Spot on ♪ Niki's pizza's always bangin', y'know? I end up eating too much if I don't watch it.

Hajime: Fufu, that's wonderful! Are you celebrating something today?

Rinne: Celebrating? No, not really…

Hajime: Huh? Is it okay to eat pizza on a normal day?

Back in my home, I was taught that pizza is a treat that you only eat on special occasions.

Rinne: Oh, is it now?

My bad, my bad. You're right, Hajime-kun. Of course, today is a special day~

And it's somethin' so important that we can't ever, ever forget about! None other than President Pizza's birthday!

Hajime: President Pizza's birthday?! I never knew about the existence of someone that great!

Rinne: You don't know him, Hajime-kun?! Man, that's really, really bad.

Hajime: W-What's wrong with it…?

Rinne: When it's President Pizza's birthday, everyone's gotta feast on some pizza.

If you only knew about it today, then I guess Hajime-kun never got to eat anything these past years, huh…

If that's the case, then it ain't good if you don't eat all those years' lost servings of pizza…

Hajime: All those years' lost servings of pizza… Are you saying that I should eat 17 years' worth of them?!

Rinne: Ah, then what I have here won't be enough. I gotta get back and grab some more ingredients, huh…

Hajime: I can't possibly eat that much!

Can't you do something to help me?! If I eat that much pizza, I'll end up hating it!

Rinne: Pfft… Ha…

Kyahahaha! Your reaction's takin' me out, Hajime-kun!

Hajime: This isn't a laughing matter! Uuu~ what am I supposed to do now?

Rinne: Don't ya worry your pretty li'l head. I was just messin' with you. That's a lie.

Hajime: A lie..? From which point was it a lie?

Rinne: Everything startin' from President Pizza's birthday.

Hajime: So, uhm… I don't have to stuff myself full of pizza until my stomach explodes?

Rinne: Yup. President Pizza doesn't exist.

Hajime: T-Thank god…

Rinne: I didn't expect you'd just take all of that without even questioning me.

You gotta put it in your head to suspect people a little more from now on, 'kay? Shino "Majime"-kun~ ♪ [1]

Hajime: Geez, you're so mean to deceive me like that, Amagi-senpai! You really scared me back there!

Rinne: Come on, sorry for bein' like that~

Oh, got it. As an apology for messin' with ya, lemme treat you to some pizza.

Hajime: …Are you sure you're not lying this time?

Rinne: Kyahahaha! Talk about a fast learner! Ya immediately got on your toes and suspected me! You take things so seriously. You really are Majime-kun, huh?

Hajime: M-My name is "Hajime"!

Rinne: Yessir~ Come on, let's bounce back home and have a feast! ♪

And while we're at it, let's use those grass you picked and make some wild grass pizza!

Hajime: W-Wah, please don't just drag me around, Amagi-senpai!

-----------

Translation: Sophie

Proofreading: Ara

NOTES:

[1] “Majime” / まじめ = lit. means as a person who’s earnestly sincere and honest, and therefore takes things seriously at its face value. It’s a syllable off Hajime’s name, which makes it funnier given how Rinne has a penchant for giving silly nicknames to people he encounters.

Also can I just point out how Hiiro, who’s actually Hajime’s classmate and therefore theoretically closer to him, calls him “Shino-kun” (last name) while Rinne calls him “Hajime-kun” (first name) right off the bat. I just think his shamelessness is hilarious LOL

[nachosforfree]

"How can you headcanon Pinkie to be a lesbian and in love with Fluttershy?? She has a kid with Weird Al in the future!" LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY IT ISN'T TRUE

This is Li'l Cheese, and while the name may make you think he's Cheese Sandwich's son, HE ISN'T. IT'S A TRICK. A LIE.

Li'l Cheese is Fluttershy's

LOOK BELOW

CHEESE SANDWICH AND PINKIE WERE NEVER IN LOVE. The only reason Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Cheese Sandwich keep up this little ruse?

For the bit.

There you have it folks, Li'l Cheese is Fluttershy and Pinkie's son, and Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich just joke that he's theirs because they think it's funny

[punkitt-is-here]

Okay but adding to the debate of Pinkie Pie banging Weird Al's horsesona: their kid, Cheesecake aka Li'l Cheese, has eyelashes and is called a filly in the app but the show writers confirmed Cheesecake is male

Conclusion: trans rights BAY-BEEEEEE 💙💓🤍💓💙

based as fuck

[ringmaster-midori]

"For the record, I don't want any favors to repay me or make it up to me, so don't look so sad." He pat her nose again.

"I was annoyed cause I was overwhelmed, I'm already over it. Friends fight too, don't take it too much to heart. Apologizing was enough."

Midori breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad to hear you're not angry with me. I…don't want any grudges or bad blood between us. An' by your request, I won't give out favors.

"But!" Midori raised an index finger. "I had a thought. What if it's not a favor, but I do somethin' nice for the two of us? Some night, after ya get through all of your stress an' distress an' whatnot, when we're both free, would you like to go out eatin' an' drinkin' an' maybe dancin'? You like to eat, right? I heard of a Chelaxian churrascaria restaurant that'll serve us all-you-can-eat meat. All. You. Can. Eat. MEAT, Fen!

"They take all different cuts of beef an' pork an' chicken an' whatever other meat an' put them on skewers an' grill them. Then they take the skewers an' come to your table an' offer you as much as you like. Fen, they bring ya meat faster than you can eat it!

"An' not just meat. They also bring ya these li'l bread bites full o' cheese, mashed potatoes, an' caramelized bananas. Also, there are sidebars full o' salads an' cheeses an' fruits an' stuff. Even this black bean an' sausage stew over rice. An' candied bacon!

"If ya hadn't noticed, I like to eat.

"An' the drinks! Over in one of Cheliax's colonies, they make this clear liquor from sugar cane called cachaça. It's kinda like the rum they have in the Shackles, but…I dunno, lighter? More refined? Anyhow, they throw some sugar an' lime juice in it and it tastes really good! An' if ya don't like that stuff, there's always whiskey.

"An' some nights, they have live bands an' dancin'.

"So, I could brush my hair an' put on a nice dress an' take us both there. What do you say?"

@steel-and-fire

[stealthnoodle]

Current BG3 bullshit: Dishonour* Mode with SMT's Mothman. The song in the video is "Mothman (YMCA Parody)" by Studio Bunny, which felt right.

*Honour Mode but I choose Continue when I wipe because I've never had a spontaneous bad idea that I didn't relentlessly pursue, and I'm not abandoning that ethos for a mere cheevo

For this run, my terrible son has three guiding principles:

Always choose violence when violence is a dialogue option

When violence is not an option, choose [Intimidation] or at least being a rude little bitch

Ignore anything that is not immediately interesting

Also he's a Durge because of course he is.

Examples of how this has played out include running right past Shadowheart without even looking at her on the ship (she was surprisingly not mad about this later), killing both Astarion and Lae'zel in camp when their actions presented a prompt to do violence, and never recruiting Gale because his hand was so succulent and severable.

He also ran right through the Inquisitor's Chambers in the creche to the Blood of Lathander and never looked back. Githyanki ambush before leaving Act 2 didn't even happen. Just blipped right off their radar. Iconic.

Something new-to-me in this run was discovering that if you start a fight in the grove and subsequently have to kill all the druids, Karlach is REAL MAD, so she never made it into the party. I then decided to tell Minthara an invasion sounded fun, planning to stab her in the back, but it turns out that there's no invasion proper if the druids are dead, so after a long rest she and the goblins had overrun the grove on their own. Wyll never even got a chance to object!

Luckily there was still an [Attack] option when I talked to her, so Mothman got to carry out his cunning scheme, aggroing all the goblins in the grove in the process.

(There's a reason I'm letting myself Continue, and it's that all of Mothman's choices might be politely described as "sub-optimal.")

In this case I didn't even need to, though, because I threw my Spectator-in-a-bottle into the midst of the goblins and it turned out to be a great strat. Spectator killed all the goblins in the area, goblins got Spectator down to single-digit HP on their way out, and Mothman finished it off with a li'l sneak attack.

I love this game.

So long story short, I essentially raided the grove without losing Wyll by doing it in the most ass-backward way possible. Yay?

And it's a good thing I kept him, since Astarion got himself staked early on trying to snack on Mothman, and then Lae'zel had her "we're all infected" freakout in camp, so he and Shadowheart were the only companions still around. Since Lae'zel was the last to go out, I honored her with this hireling homage:

Turns out my biggest challenge on this stupid run has been shopping. Mothman finished Act 1 with zero vendors still alive. Obviously he killed Isobel in Act 2 as soon as his butler offered him a shiny reward for doing so, and he drew his weapon on the Moonrise Tower guards as soon as he met them, so he ended up with a sea of corpses and nobody who would talk to him but Araj Oblodra (an uneasy alliance which ended in Act 3 when she caught him rifling through her stuff and oops there's an [Attack] response to that).

My second biggest challenge, and what I thought would be my run-ender, was fucking Myrkul. Did I jump down the big hole without adequately prepping? Yes. Did I forget the single-use healing pod near the boss isn't actually a long rest and doesn't restore abilities or short rests? Yes. Did I have a very stupid loadout for a boss I have fought at least five times now? Also yes. After I had to hit Continue for a fourth time, I began to despair. Had the single save file cooked me?

It had not! I just needed to ferment the perfect cheese.

I wish I had screencaps of this bullshit but I was too frustrated to remember to take them by the time I figured this out, lolsob. If you are stuck in a hole with Ketheric Thorm and short on options, here is your ticket out:

You can get a surprise round, thank you Invisibility. One good sneak attack with Cull the Weak can take out the mindflayer.

Shadowheart's reward spear for killing the Nightsong lets you cast Shar's Darkness as an action as often as you like. If you cast it around your party from way back near the entrance, Ketheric becomes confused and does not summon more necromites. He just stands on the platform and yells. Old Man Yells at Cloud, literally.

Once you have slowly chipped his health away without expending resources, your biggest problem is that you have mostly piddling attacks, and Myrkul has a big health pool and can heal himself. OR CAN HE?

Bro can't see shit in the dark. Drop darkness centered on him and he gets blinded. His necromite snacks can run up to him, but he can't see them to gobble them up.

Do damage as fast as you can with whatever you have. Throw shit. Read scrolls. Give the magic spear to Skyrim Mod Lae'zel to handle Darkness from a distance and park Shadowheart up on Myrkul's ass with Spirit Guardians. Make Wyll summon Connor over and over to distract Myrkul from hitting her.

CONGRATULATIONS, you've spent half your Saturday on this.

Things got better in Act 3. Mothman can't have beef with every vendor in the city at once.

But you know what he can have? Specific, stupid beef with Gortash.

This keeps happening.

Also I can't believe I pulled that off without wiping even once. (The game crashed three times because my bell tower ladder strats were too elite, but I finally found a compromise that didn't make the game shit itself while I slogged through the fight. With only three party members, because I didn't have anything to make Wyll fly and couldn't be bothered with shopping. The only survivor of my nonsense was Skyrim Mod Lae'zel, who chugged an invisibility potion and climbed down vines to escape. Still!)

A funny consequence of my timing was that Mizora showed up in camp the night Gortash kicked the bucket and did her usual "I'll tell you where to find your dad in exchange for your soul" spiel, so I thought, well, let's see how that works out for us. Wyll, sell your soul. Again.

(I would feel worse about putting Wyll through that on top of everything else he's suffered this game, but look. He stayed in the party. His approval is HIGH. Somehow. He is Mothman's little Mothstan. This is what it's like on the dark side, buddy.)

The answer is that I got a quest maker for the sub that goes to the Iron Throne, but obviously the sub is not there, because Gortash is dead. "Sorry, Wyll, guess you sold your soul for nothing!" is what I would have said, except when I went down for my next long rest, the Duke popped out of thin air next to Mizora. As you can see in the video, he didn't quite have his being-alive-legs yet, but he figured out how to stand up in the morning. So I did his Wyrmway quest. As a treat.

Anyway, now Mothman just needs to beat up his sister with his cool Slayer form that he loves to pop as often as possible, and then he's off to the endgame! I expect everyone will be shocked when he takes control of the Netherbrain even though he's been loudly and proudly making his intentions known all game.

I'll close this out by saying that I let the randomizer make me a guardian again, and I forgot what it made until I was surprised and delighted by sexy facetats Santa: