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cherryredcheol · 11 days

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practice makes perfect

tldr: practice makes permanent a/n: could technically be read as pt. 2 to this but not really. reader referred to as "wife"

not for the first time in your life, do you find yourself grateful that you are right-handed. throughout your years with mingyu, you’ve seen him struggle with his left-handedness. you don’t think you’ve ever seen his signature not smeared in some way by his hand dragging across the wet ink. in fact, you’re pretty sure his signature will be a little smudged on the marriage license that you two will be signing following your ceremony in a few months.

but as you sit at the kitchen table, addressing invitations with an inky gel pen your fiance could never dream of using, you’re grateful the characters are crisp and legible. moreover, you’re grateful that the pretty ring on your left hand isn’t at risk of being soiled. mingyu picked it out himself and did a great job. it was exactly what you wanted. you hadn’t taken it off since he slipped it on, bent at the knee, gazing up at you with all the love in the world in his eyes, a confession of love that rivals shakespeare tumbling off his lips. it was the easiest yes you’d ever given.

getting used to the weight of the ring took some time. not used to having jewelry on that finger, you constantly felt the ring on your hand. it was distracting at first, but as time went on the feeling became natural and you hardly noticed. the same happened when getting used to you and mingyu’s new titles for each other. his chest puffed up when he called you his fiancee, proud and happy to show you off. the first time you introduced mingyu as your fiance to someone you blushed like a tomato and stuttered over your words. it was embarrassing to you but mingyu was endeared, proud he still could make you shy after all the time you’d spent together. the idea of calling each other husband and wife was not even something you could think about.

thinking about mingyu’s signature got you thinking about your own. it suddenly dawned on you that you were going to need a new one. following your marriage you were going to have a new name. you’re going to have to learn to reprint your name too. the muscle memory of writing your full name would have to be relearned with his name, your family name. it would take some practice. no time like the present you assumed. pushing the invitations to the other side of the table, you pulled out a piece of scrap paper and with your pen in hand, began to retrain the muscles in your right hand.

mingyu woke up feeling refreshed. it had been a long week and he was facing down another one but a saturday afternoon nap had really hit the spot. the apartment was quiet when he woke up and he wondered if you’d fallen asleep too. you had told him you were going to address some envelopes for the wedding but maybe you’d laid down on the couch instead. coming down the stairs, he could hear the faint scratching of a pen on paper so he followed the sound, he guessed he had been wrong in assuming you’d fallen asleep.

stopping in the doorway of the kitchen he admired your hunched form. bent over the table writing addresses on–no, you were not writing on envelopes. you were scribbling on a piece of paper full of other, similar looking scribbles. after every scribble, you’d sit back and assess your work before leaning back down and starting the cycle over again. he watched you do this about four times before he spoke, “what are you doing, angel?”

you jumped and turned to look at him, hand to your chest, “christ, gyu. i’m going to put a bell on you or something. for someone so big you sure are quiet.”

he caught sight of the ring on your finger and it made him smile, “sorry, angel. i thought you’d heard me. but i guess you were too focused…on that…” his eyes darted pointedly to the paper you’d been writing on.

your heart sped up, a blush colored your cheeks. you’d been so focused on practicing writing your married name you hadn’t thought how embarrassed you’d be if you were caught.

seeing your cheeks turn color, mingyu’s smile widened. “what were you doing, angel?”

“umm…” you knew you had two options here. you could try to hid this from him and save yourself the embarrassment or you could just fess up and get the teasing over with. you chose the latter. “i was practicing writing my new name.”

mingyu froze. he blinked once, twice, a third, and then,”your what?”

“my new name. you know, when we get married and i take your name, it’ll be new to me. so i’m trying to figure out what my signature should look like but i don’t like any of the ones i’ve done so far and it’ll be for the rest of my life so i want it to look good.” you word vomited at him, cheeks heating up even more than before.

mingyu did not think he could love you any more than he already did, then he proposed. and he swore that nothing would top that. the look on your face and the way he felt, he knew it was something that would last with him forever. but now, standing in the kitchen doorway, hearing you tell him you’d been down here practicing writing your married name so you could have the perfect signature, he once again felt an overwhelming love for you that could bring him to his knees.

“okay well, let’s keep trying then. you know what they say, ‘practice makes perfect.’”

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #svt #svt x reader #mingyu #mingyu imagine #mingyu x reader #mingyu scenario #kim mingyu #mingyu fluff #mingyu imagines

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clovesmokeanddecaff · 2 years

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Growing a single kilogram of Arabica coffee in either Brazil or Vietnam, and exporting it to the UK produces greenhouse gas emissions equivalent to 15.33 kg of carbon dioxide on average. That’s raw, pre-roasted beans (otherwise known as “green coffee”) produced using conventional methods. But by using less fertiliser, managing water and energy use more efficiently during milling and exporting the beans by cargo ship rather than aeroplane, that figure falls to 3.51 kg of CO₂ equivalent per kg of coffee.

The average cup of coffee contains about 18g of green coffee, so 1 kg of it can make 56 espressos. Just one espresso has an average carbon footprint of about 0.28 kg, but it could be as little as 0.06 kg if grown sustainably.

But what if you like your coffee with milk? Lattes have a carbon footprint of about 0.55 kg, followed by cappucinos on 0.41 kg and flat whites on 0.34 kg. But when the coffee is produced sustainably, these values fall to 0.33 kg, 0.2 kg and 0.13 kg respectively. Using non-dairy milk alternatives is one way to make white coffee more green. Info from: https://theconversation.com/coffee-heres-the-carbon-cost-of-your-daily-cup-and-how-to-make-it-climate-friendly-152629 Referenced Paper: https://rgs-ibg.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/geo2.96

#coffee #vegan #carbon emissions #life cycle assessment #sustainability #Coffee is a luxury agricultural commodity #sometimes referred to as a “drug food"#as it provides no nutritional value.#give me my morning luxury drug food

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thisblogisaboutabook · 5 months

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The cycle of life

Azriel x Reader

Fae cycles suck, thank the mother for your attentive mate who is there to provide you with all of the smut and fluff you desire.

warnings: smut, language, self-esteem and body image struggles, anxiety, slight breeding kink

She didn’t know when the self-loathing crept in - although it was always the first sign. The week had been busy, she’d poured herself into her work. Being a bookkeeper for such a wealthy court was… tiring to say the least. It was fulfilling work, especially when it came to the Court of Dreams. Balancing ledgers and creating budgets for various charitable endeavors was a duty she was proud to take part in. The High Lord and Lady’s efforts in keeping their court thriving was admirable. Most would find the work mundane, and she supposed it could be, but accounting always felt like a puzzle to her - using her brain to solve problems and contribute to the advancement of the Night Court was rewarding.

She wasn’t perfect though, despite that desperate desire within herself to be. She’d push, and push, and push herself completely overlooking all the good she did and absolutely berating herself internally when the occasional mistake occurred.

Azriel was her number one supporter. She’d always imagined him to be better suited for the likes of a fellow warrior such as Mor or a Valkyrie like Gwyn. Perhaps even someone soft and lovely like Elain, a glowing beacon to come home to. Y/N had told Azriel as much when he began pursuing her.

“Why me?” She’d wonder to herself as she assessed her figure in the mirror - overlooking the enticing feminine curves that all but screamed “squeeze me, grip me, take me”, the way her plush lips bowed into a perfectly kissable pout, how her radiant skin that nearly glowed rendered her ethereal. She only saw imperfections. Not to mention that she wasn’t graceful or stealthy, she couldn’t cook or keep plants alive to save her damned life, and she had a tendency to get stuck inside her mind.

Truthfully this week was more than busy, it was hard. She’d pushed herself to meet deadlines that she’d gotten behind on due to an influx in workload. She’d made a few mistakes that nobody had issue with - except herself. Nuala and Cerridwen were taking well-deserved time off, leaving the essential household tasks on the back burner. Between working endless hours, Azriel being gone on a mission, and a flare up of the anxiety that she’d put so much effort into working through over the years - she was exhausted.

Physically her muscles ached, stomach cramped, and her head pounded as the all-too-familiar symptoms of her impending semi-annual cycle took root. Her mind and spirit were utterly fatigued from the busy week, the flare up of anxiety, and the overall stress of life. She was desperate for Azriel to return from his mission soon.

It was around 9PM when she coerced herself into wrapping up work on Friday night, she spent three hours afterward tending to the house and catching up on neglected tasks from the week, too tired to even bathe as she crawled into bed - sleep claiming her immediately.

She awoke the next day to a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Hello beautiful.” Azriel whispered against her skin, pulling back to allow those intense hazel eyes a chance to examine her. Her eyelids fluttered and brows furrowed as she let out an exhausted groan, “baby…” a small smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she reached toward him in a needy manner that made his heart ache. He hated leaving her for missions though she always understood and supported him. He leaned down, wrapping his arms around her body, letting his warmth seep into her bones as she melted into his embrace.

Azriel noticed the flinch she made as the sun shone through the window into their room, quickly flaring his wings to block it from view until her eyes adjusted. “What’s wrong, love?” He whispered, though he already had an idea. The heat of his breath against her ear sent chills through her, prompting her to give a quick nip to his neck before kissing it.

Gods, she’d missed him.

“Nothing baby.” before he could call her on her lie she continued, “what time is it?”

“Well, you missed breakfast.” He smirked.

“Ugh… how did I sleep in so late?” She sat up, rubbing her tired eyes.

Azriel shrugged “Your body must have needed it.”

“Says you.” She scoffed. “You were off all week doing physically demanding work and busting your ass for this court… while I sat on mine balancing ledgers.”

“Y/N…” he spoke, his low voice barely more than a warning growl. “We’re not going to do that. You are allowed to feel tired, allowed to let your body rest. Your work is important.”

She sighed, knowing better than to press on. She knew to pick her battles and that this one was not one she would win.

“Fine.” Y/N shrugged, eyeing a paper bag on the bedside table. “What did you bring me? Please tell me it’s something with chocolate.”

Azriel’s lips curled up into a grin that she’d never tire of seeing, handing over the bag. “See for yourself, darling.”

———

Azriel knew from the moment he stepped into the quiet house that she’d need extra love and attention today. His loving, caring, selfless mate who typically rose early - he swore the sun rose on her accord and not the other way around - was still sound asleep in bed.

He immediately exited the house before she could sense his presence and stopped by her favorite bakery along the Sidra. Chocolate croissants were a necessity in times like these. She’d need a pain relieving tonic, epsom salts and soothing oils, and a bouquet of flowers couldn’t hurt either.

He went ahead and picked up ingredients for a few quick meals and a new book she’d mentioned recently as well.

He had to laugh at the irony. His mate often questioned her worthiness of him. HIM. She couldn’t see what he saw. A passionate, intelligent female who cared for her mate, her court, and family more than anything. Always putting her own needs last but the first to volunteer when help was needed. The cauldron truly found his equal - someone who gave and gave but it was never enough. Someone who couldn’t see her own worth, her pure heart, her devastating beauty - while the rest of the world marveled at it.

She’d been the catalyst in his own self-acceptance. He’d spent centuries believing he wasn’t enough, that he was unworthy of a mate, of his position, of the power he was born with - just to meet this intelligent, radiant being who could bring an entire room to a halt and assume they were only seeing flaws. Not the beauty that could make even kings fall to their knees if she’d only ask. When the bond snapped, he decided then and there that he would show her just how worthy she was. In the decade they’d been mated, she finally started to see her worth, how precious she was to him, to those she graced with her presence. But life is complicated and triggers are inevitable, especially when it came to the flare of hormones that accompanied an impending cycle.

—————

The chocolate croissants were a win if the drawn-out contented sigh Y/N let out upon finishing her third one was any indication. He’d shared details of his mission as she indulged in the pastries and she gave him a few details of her week - frowning as she went into detail about the “mistakes” she’d made.

They were common mistakes that anyone would make, truthfully, some weren’t even her fault, but he listened as she let it out. He’d learned over the years that sometimes she just needed to get it off her chest and not advice. Simply hearing each other out had become a key element in the foundation of their relationship - when thoughts became too much - they were always listening ears for each other.

Once she’d gotten it off her chest she changed the subject by asking, “What do you want to do today?”

Azriel had a lot to do - but his mate took priority this weekend. He gave her a wicked grin, “I want nothing more than to waste away in this bed with you all day.”

“But?” She replied.

“But nothing.” He flicked her nose. “I want to spend the day in bed with my mate - is there something wrong with that?”

Azriel could see the war in her mind. Debating whether she deserved to take a day off, or should tend to other tasks. Before she could object he leaned in, lips capturing hers in a deep, loving kiss. She immediately opened for him, his tongue lazily tangling with hers. “Fine” she murmured.

“That’s my girl.” He cooed before returning to claiming her mouth, the shell of her ears, her neck.

“Mmm” she purred into his kiss while he palmed at her breast through her silken cobalt night gown. Her swollen breasts immediately peaking beneath his touch.

“So responsive” his low voice growled into her neck, sending fire straight through her, igniting her core. “Is that beautiful pussy as ready for me as these are?” He asked, tweaking a nipple through her gown.

The responding moan told him more than enough as he hitched the hem of her nightgown up to her waist, exposing the dripping cunt practically begging for him underneath. His eyes rolled back at the intoxicating scent of arousal drifting up into his nose. “Holy shit, Y/N.” he groaned, clearly pleased with the sight.

He ran a finger through her slick core, adding a teasingly light amount of pressure to her clit but before he could insert a finger she moaned “No Az, I can’t wait. Please.”

“You don’t want my fingers?” He teased, slipping one inside of her. Mother, she was absolutely soaked.

“Az…Fuck. No. Please.” She pleaded. Reaching down to palm the hardened length beneath his sweatpants. “I need that inside of me. Now”

Typically he would reprimand her for being so demanding, robbing him of his playtime with her sweet, dripping sex. But the desperation in her voice left him desperate to oblige her.

“Since you asked nicely.” He replied, to which she frantically helped him out of his pants.

Before she could reconsider taking more fingers, he thrusted his length into her. Hard. Every thick, aching inch of him, stretching and filling her completely.

“Like that?” He asked as her moans filled the room.

“Yes. Yes, Az.”

“Fuck.” She cried out. “Just. Like. That.” Each word coming out individually timed to the thrusts of his cock.

There was no way he was going to last long at this pace, especially after being away for a week. “Not gonna last long like this. Fuck!” He ground out.

She grit her teeth as his thrusts became harder, more erratic. “Then fill me, Az. Need your cum.”

Slipping a hand between them, he pressed his thumb to her clit, moving it in that perfected motion he’d finessed over the years as he diligently studied her body, a scholar whose sole discipline laid in pleasuring his mate. Locking his eyes with her, he gently commanded “Cum with me baby.”

With that they both let go. Their releases filling the room like a song. A melody Azriel would never tire of, one he replayed in his mind somehow far too often, yet never enough during his time away.

Azriel stayed inside of her until their breaths settled, evening out into sync with eachother. He reveled in the warmth of her. His perfect mate - physically, emotionally, spiritually. He’d never take this for granted.

Finally he pulled out of her in one long sweep, she looked down to admire the still considerable length of him even when partially softened. Her stomach dropped to see blood mixed in with their combined releases.

“Az, oh, I’m so s-” She started but he cut her off.

“Baby. It’s just a little blood.”

She almost looked ashamed. “I know but- I’m embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” He puzzled. “It’s completely natural. Do you really think blood bothers me? Come on now beautiful, we’ve had sex during your cycle before. Why shy away now?”

“I just didn’t expect the bleeding to have started already. It explains why I’ve felt so lethargic, I suppose.”

Azriel went to get a warm cloth from the adjoined washroom, returning to wipe her. Her cheeks flushed at the intimate action.

“Stop overthinking it. Besides, we’re mates.” He smiled, a soft look overtaking his eyes. “If you still want to have children with me someday, your cycle is kind of an essential step of the process.”

Y/N flushed at the comment. The thought of carrying his babies was something she’d dreamed about for years now. Thank the gods for her distant Illyrian ancestry and the genes that blessed her with curvy hips capable of birthing winged babes.

“You know, with my cycle returning… we could always start trying? If we stopped taking our tonics now - it should be out of our system in time for ovulation. Rhys has offered recently to let me bring on an assistant book keeper, which would be excellent timing.”

Azriel’s heart fluttered at the thought of it. His mate round and glowing as she carried their baby, a babe that would know so much more love than he ever had as a child. Something so pure and beautiful that could come from the love between he and his mate. They’d talked about it for years now, a dream of theirs. He had to quickly blink away the silver lining his eyes at the gift she was offering him, his selfless mate in all her infinite love. There was no way he could verbally reply in the moment without choking up so he sent waves of adoration, joy, and gratitude down the bond.

She sent every bit of love right back to him, propping up on her elbows to capture his lips in a promising kiss.

———-

After they came to a decision, Azriel carried Y/N to the bathing room where a hot bath full of the oils and epsom salts he’d picked up that morning were waiting. She nearly cried at the relief of the welcoming heat that greeted her.

Before she could object, Azriel quickly stepped out to change the sheets, promptly returning to slide into the bath tub behind her. He washed her hair, massaging her scalp to which she nearly purred like a cat. He carefully washed her entire body massaging her back, thighs, calves, shoulders, and breasts in the process. By the time he was done tending to her, she’d nearly fallen asleep.

Ever the caretaker, she tried to wash him in return but he insisted that this was about her - passing her a rolled up towel to place behind her neck while she relaxed, letting the oils from the bath soak into her skin as he lathered himself. He got out first, toweling himself off before lifting her out of the tub and drying her off with a heated towel.

Though she insisted she could do it herself, Azriel wasn’t having it. This was his day to care for his mate so he helped her into cloth lined linens and selfishly left her topless, slipping her underneath the fresh blankets.

He assured her he’d be right back slipping out to the kitchen to heat up her favorite gnocchi soup and fetch a tray he’d prepared with her pain relieving tonic, bouquet of flowers, and more chocolate.

It didn’t take much to bring his mate joy - the genuine gratitude she’d send down the bond at even the smallest gestures was never lost on him. Perhaps it was self-serving but he couldn’t resist surprising her, coveting each warm smile she’d give him as if he’d never feel warmth again.

He prayed their future babes had her smile, her eyes, any of her features, truly. But most of all, her heart - maybe then, beating within the most precious gift the mother could offer them, she’d finally see just how beautiful she really was.

————

He had to beg and plead like a mad male but finally she agreed to spend the entire weekend in bed with him. Who knew that he, the one who was typically the workaholic, would be the one to grovel at his mates feet begging her to take a break.

Fortunately, she was not immune to his charms and obliged him. At one point, she snuck out of bed in an attempt to accomplish a few tasks around the house before her cramps humbled her. Azriel was promptly startled awake from the nap he’d drifted off to as she loudly exclaimed from down the hall, “Fuck it. Back to bed.”

They spent the rest of the weekend making love, whispering of their dreams for the future, indulging in sweets, and reveling in each others touch with no shortage of laughter and kissing in between.

——————————

A/n: So I’ve totally been under the weather this weekend with no motivation to write but as I laid in bed with my own partner tending to me with whatever I needed, I couldn’t resist writing this. I intended it to be a Drabble but the words just kept flowing. I stan fluffy Az. Anyway, thanks for reading!

For those of you waiting on new parts to my current fics - I promise they’re coming along and will be out soon! xo ♥️

#sarah j maas #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #a court of frost and starlight #azriel #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #acotar smut #acotar fluff #sickfic #shadowsinger #shadowsinger smut #shadowsinger x reader #acotar oneshot #fluff and smut #acotar fluff and smut

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sustainabletechnologysolutions · 7 days

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#Waste Strategy and Circular Economy #ESG and Sustainability Reporting #Net Zero and Carbon Management #Life Cycle Assessment(LCA) and Environment Product Declaration(EPD)#GHG Accounting and Assessment #Coastal Protection and Marine Bioremediation #Sustainable Aquaculture #Air Pollution Control equipment’s #Water Pollution Control Equipment’s #Energy and Water Audit

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symetriuk · 1 month

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One Click LCA: Tailoring Environmental Assessments to Your Needs

One Click LCA works by way of gathering statistics at the inputs and outputs of a product, process, or service at every level of its existence cycle. This facts is then used to calculate the environmental effect, together with carbon emissions, water utilization, and waste era. The tool offers more than a few analysis options, allowing users to tailor their checks to their precise needs.

#Life Cycle Assessment Software #Life Cycle Assessment Software Tools

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ivestas · 1 year

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underlying bitterness

Summary: You were depressed. The family is quick to notice.

Tags: platonic!yandere!batfam x fem!reader, reader implied to be mentally ill, depression, coddling, isolation, etc (you know the drill)

Word count: 1.6k

Notes: temporarily back from the dead! decided to finish this since i had it collecting dust in my drafts LMAO---apologies for my lack of writing, i have several projects im combing through and school 😭

The manor never really was quiet; there was always something going on.

The only time the quiet came was when they were out for patrol, or when everyone was asleep—but even then, there always seemed to be a pervasive spirit of noise and life that, on a good day, didn’t bother you.

But today was a bad one. Today, everything was an unbearable stretch of life, a near-constant torment of both mind and soul, leaving you incapacitated by your own head.

It was these days where the bearable—hell, even the nice—was acidic on your gaunt body.

A knock on the door had you wearily raising your head.

A call of your name bounced through the door. The voice was bright and chirpy, downright dripping with honey. “You okay in there? Can I come in?”

Eleven minutes alone? New record.

You sighed. The question only had one answer.

“Yes, and yes.”

The door to your bedroom opened silently, barely a squeak from the hinges. Dick revealed himself with a giant dopey grin, Damian just a step behind him.

You didn’t bother smiling. “Hey.”

“Hi!” Bright as always, his movement carried an excitable sway, acting more like a kid than a 20-something bonafide detective/vigilante. There was something predatory about it, an inherent layer of manipulative intent with it that never left you at ease.

At least Damian was always himself, the deep-set frown never leaving his face in anyone’s presence, including yours.

You would’ve been inclined to like him had it not been for the palpable softness that eased the furrows of his brows.

Shifting under the heavy blankets, you pat the other side of the bed, the movement practiced and learned. Routine.

Damian was the one to take the invitation while Dick sat at the end of your side. He rarely sat there. You didn’t care to decipher his intentions, merely regarding him with the same placidity as you had before.

“So..?”

“The family’s noticed you’ve been off lately?”

Ah.

You shifted some more, feeling the weight of their stares assess every micro-movement made. It wasn’t subtle. This was an interrogation, not their self-indulgent visits that had you puking right after.

“I’m on my period,” you responded bluntly.

“Your cycles aren’t during this time of month.” Dick’s voice was deceptively light.

"Hm, well, the female body works in mysterious ways.”

“Then I’m gonna go check the washroom garbage.”

The silence of your mind buzzed to life. “What?”

“I’m gonna go check the washroom garbage.” He repeated, rising from the bed.

What the fuck.

You could let him go and find out for himself that you were, indeed, lying. However, you weren’t in the mood to deal with the punishments that came with that...

...Though, regardless, you were going to be punished. Lying—especially to Dick of all people—never bode you well.

Really, maybe you just weren’t in the mood to deal with the drama, the stormy face he’ll don when he walks out the washroom after finding out the lie.

So you sighed tiredly, back sinking further into the thick pillow. “I lied.”

Dick’s pleasant expression flickered. Damian’s stare deepened in its calculating weight.

Dick spoke slowly. “You know what happens when you lie.”

You sighed again. It bordered a scoff. “Hurry up with it then.”

The smile turned to a neutral line, though you knew he was feeling anything than neutral. Dick loathed lies, but he kept a calm voice. “Why’ve you been off lately?”

“I lied, Dick. Aren’t you supposed to do what you usually do? Neglect and all.” You were flippant. This was gonna make it worse, and at this point you knew better, you always tried to avoid this, but something was possessing you.

A will, or more accurately, a lack thereof.

“Just tell him,” Damian hissed.

You glanced at him, unimpressed. “No.”

Dick breathed slowly. “Why?”

“Because you’ll make me feel bad for it.”

He blinked. Surprised.

Why was he surprised? Is this another manipulation tactic?

Probably. Why did you even bother trying to decipher his intentions? Their intentions?

“You’ll make it about you guys. How bad you guys feel. How you want the best for me.” You yawned. “I’m not in the mood to humor that. Pull that some other time, I just need to recuperate. Touch bases with my soul and all that hippie shit.” Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment. “Okay?”

A pause thickened the tension in the air tenfold.

Then, it was Damian who spoke. “You’re..?”

“Depressed.” Dick finished, mild disbelief lacing his words. What stood out was the underlying offended tone the word wore.

You didn’t bother responding, keeping your eyes shut, pulling the covers over your chin. It was only midday, but you were tired.

“Why are you... ‘depressed’?” Damian was the one to speak, now with incredulity.

“Why is the sky blue?” You muttered.

Cold fingers brushed your cheek, a colder voice poking through. “Open your eyes when you talk.”

You did as told, looking up at him from your curled position. “Why are you depressed?” He repeated with a voice of iron.

“It doesn’t matter,” you responded. “None of it does. I’ll be better soon. I just need you to give me space.”

Another pause.

Then, uncharacteristically, Damian slipped away. He glanced over where Dick was.

Dick, even more uncharacteristically, nodded and slipped away, walking with Damian out the room.

In any other circumstance, your blood would run cold.

But, at that moment, you were thankful for the temporary relief.

-----

You hadn’t thought you’d sleep, but you did, only to be awaken by Tim.

“Dinner’s ready.” He said, eyes burning into yours.

You grunted, tossing the sheets away. The cold raked your body. Getting off the bed, you glanced out the barred window.

Sunset.

How long did you sleep?

And how come they let you sleep for so long, undisturbed?

You didn’t care to wonder. Blearily nodding to Tim, you tipped your head to the washroom. “I’m gonna clean up a little, give me a—”

“You look fine, just come.” His hand, now wrapped tightly around your wrist, left no room for complaint.

Faintly sighing, you nodded again. He led you out the room and through the colder corridors of the manor, down several staircases and past various pillars and paintings you’re always surprised to see, as if you hadn’t been housed in the manor for two-something years.

Two years.

730 days wasted here.

730 days, never to be recovered.

Your chest tightened, but your heart was empty.

Pushing the thought away, you blankly focused on the outstretched dining table you’d eaten countless meals on.

Tim said your name.

You look at him, confused.

“Sit?”

Oh. Right.

You slipped onto the chair, vaguely aware of your surroundings.

“...That’s my seat.”

“Sorry,” you moved to get up, but his hands pressed down on your shoulders.

“No, it’s fine, I’m just surprised. That’s all. You’re usually pretty attentive.”

“Sorry,” you repeated.

Tim didn’t respond, opting to sit beside you.

You were vaguely aware of the rest of the family settling in their respective positions—Bruce sitting at the head on your left, Dick sitting across you with Damian to his right, and at the end of the table Jason settled with a tired huff.

What you were fully aware of however was how good the food. The aroma was thick and savory, leaving your mouth to water

Raising a fork, you dug into the food.

“How was your day?” Bruce was the one to break the silence, and you notice him looking at you.

“It was good,” you mumbled around the food.

A silence cradled the room for a moment, the clanks of silverware mute.

“Was it?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?”

“What, is there a right answer to this?” You were daring, careless with your tongue. “Should’ve given me a textbook, woulda studied real hard before coming down.”

“The right answer is the truth,” Jason spoke up, mouthful of food. “Dickie’s all red and angry you can’t even tell the truth. Honestly? So am I.”

“We all are,” Tim murmured.

“But you know? We care for you. So just tell us what’s up, yeah?” Although his voice was light, there was an underlying threat to Jason’s words. Tell us or else.

You set the fork down and looked at Bruce—whose eyes were sweeping all over your face, calculating—the both of you having frowns tugging at your lips. “Okay. I feel like shit. A dumpster fire. Like my very body has been corrupted by dark—I don’t know exactly what that means, but I feel it, so worth mentioning, right?—anyway, all I ask is to be left alone for a bit. That is what will make my mind better. Just a day of quiet. Please?”

“...Voluntary isolation is a sign of clinical depression,” Bruce began. “And that would do you no good. What you need is the support of family to help you through this illness.”

“God, no—”

“Listen.” Damian hissed.

You shut your mouth, eyes downcast.

“What will happen is every night, you talk to Dick about whatever’s bothering you. Or anyone else. You will talk, and that will help. Anything you need, just tell them; you know this.”

“Why not get an actual therapist?”

“You can’t trust all therapists,” Dick jumped in. “I’ve trained in psychology, I know all the therapy ins-and-outs. I can help you as well as any licensed one would—if not, better!”

You stifled a sigh but didn’t bother pushing saying anything.

“You don’t look to happy about that,” Dick commented. “It’s okay. I know its hard to open up when you’ve suffered in silence for so long, but we’re all on your side, okay?”

Jesus.

You looked down at the food, picking up the fork. It took you everything not to bash your head against the table.

#yandere batfam #yandere batfam x reader #batfam x reader #batman x reader

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ddarker-dreams · 10 months

Text

Nexus.

Yandere Blade x F Reader.

Warnings: Nothing major yet, some minor Honkai: Star Rail spoilers. Word count: 4.6k.

Nexus index.

On the planet Eris, in the city of Perianth II, night reigns, for there is no star close enough to challenge its rule.

Deep within the bowels of the metropolis lit only by manmade contraptions, sits a bar known as LOTUS-EATER, carved into the cragged terrain as if it’d always been there. It had not, in fact, contrary to local legend. Had the IPC not run into issues with overcrowded prisons, this planet they now consider a scourge would never have had the means to limp on.

Easy solutions cultivate the conditions for worse problems to develop later on.

This is what your mother — a shrewd woman to her core — instilled in you.

Grimacing, you reread the words on your screen for the umpteenth time.

… You wish she had instilled some business management skills instead.

“Miss Exalted-One-Ma’am, when are you coming back inside? This client is refusing to leave until he can speak with you. Lear is running interference, but that’s going as well as you can imagine,” a feminine voice calls out.

You glance up fast enough to assess her expression. Despite the severity of her words, she’s smiling, amber eyes crinkling by the corners. Her chestnut-colored hair is worn in a braid that extends down the length of her back, meaning she hasn’t clocked out yet, or else it’d be loose. You have some wiggle room, then.

“Nona,” you beckon her over, “What do you think this means?”

Inquisitive creature she is, she doesn’t waste this opportunity to poke around in your private matters. Her eyes flitter back and forth as she takes in the contents of your phone. Interlocking her hands behind her back, she hums.

“Looks like we’re due for a visit.”

“That’s what you gathered too?” You murmur. “What a mess this is turning into. The last thing we need is for the hounds to start sniffing around.”

“I dunno what you’re frazzled about, exalted one. The locals wouldn’t cough up info to the IPC even if their life depended on it.”

“Therein lies your answer — the locals won’t, but our clientele is vast as the universe is infinite. Someone looking to score quickly could put in a tip. The hounds are just itching for an excuse to put an embargo on Eris again.”

She shrugs. “Outsiders bribed and snuck their way in last time, they would now too. Benefits of a quality product.”

You shake your head and pinch the bridge of your nose. Nona means well, but if she thinks in such simple terms, her training period won’t ever end. Or perhaps you’re being a tad too harsh on the girl, you haven’t slept since receiving this text message two cycles ago. If it weren’t for how scarce this technology is, you would’ve smashed it to pieces for causing you such prolonged strife.

Alas, as a native of Eris, there are two things you intrinsically cherish above all else — any object that emits light and the special nectary cradled within the planet.

“I’ll take your input into—”

A shrill shriek cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

“The hysterical client, I reckon,” Nona dryly remarks. “Now, can you please come in before Lear gets stabbed? If it isn’t already too late.”

You don’t bother dignifying her macabre speculation with a reply. You enter through a back door accessible only to LOTUS-EATER staff, weaving around boxes of cargo that need to be sorted. A heady, aromantic scent clings to the wood, yet its temptation is long lost on you. Where the clients indulge, you abstain. The livelihood of yourself and your workers relies heavily on your psyche’s clarity.

Emerging from the back rooms has you standing on the building’s second floor, an area known as The Lounge. Here, the spherical, gravity-defying emitters of lights standard in this region are set dimly. This latest model even allows you to adjust the dimensions, ranging from small enough to fit in the palm of your hand to the size of a room. There was supposed to be one more on this floor, but while unpacking the order, it slipped from Lear’s hands and met an early demise. Great cooperation was needed to locate the glass that floated to the ceiling.

You check the status of occupancies. Two private rooms are in session, the other eight are empty. By your design, it had been a slow night. You gave orders to the receptionist, Thalia, to only book appointments for influential customers, just in case the omen floating over your head comes true. You walk down the hallway which leads to the first floor, only to notice cool colors set in a square array by the digital lock.

The sight doesn’t sit right with you. You consider taking a detour to investigate, only for the commotion downstairs to encourage otherwise.

“Sir, if you’d please calm down—”

Lear’s gentle voice is cut off by another.

“I demand to speak with her,” it heaves. “The mind witch. Where is she?”

The electronic curtains that lift for those put into the LOTUS-EATER’s database part in a magnificent flurry of scarlet hues. You feel each set of eyes that glance your way. It’s a typical ensemble present — affluent travelers, political emissaries, and well-to-do merchants. Some drink at the bar, others watch the live entertainment playing soft music. Everyone aside from the heaving interloper is dressed in the formalwear expected of the establishment.

The click of your heels against the dark wood floor reverberates throughout. The man’s reaction to your appearance is delayed, though he eventually turns his head to see where Lear is looking. Resentment contorts his face upon spotting you. You recognize him. Jay R. Alister, a client who gave Thalia a difficult time due to his demands to have a Synalink booking today. You thought you smoothed over the matter by granting him access to the first floor, The Club, and placing him on a priority list for next time.

Copious amounts of alcohol must’ve unraveled your hard work.

“Shall we take a moment to collect ourselves, sir?”

“No one— no one understands,” he insists, swaying ever so slightly. It’s a peculiar sight. One message from a handful of the individuals present would be enough to spell doom for Alister, this charade likely already has him blacklisted across multiple star systems. To be a client at LOTUS-EATER is a privilege. Everyone adheres to the unspoken rule of the honor system, eliminating the need for security inside.

“I’d like to, Mr. Alister, if you wouldn’t mind explaining to me outside.”

He’s drunk, but a low-level link can be established, you surmise. It isn’t an option without risks. As a recurring client, he could catch onto the invasive feeling and grow further agitated. The eyes fixated on you grow heavier. Some are curious, others bemused, and a few pass silent judgment, comparing your capabilities with the previous Exalted Arbiter.

He blinks slowly. “My Roze… she’s upstairs. She’s waiting for me. I can’t— can’t be late…”

“You won’t be,” your voice takes on a concerned lilt, “Let’s go meet her elsewhere. Follow me and I’ll take you to her.”

A white ring forms around his pupils.

“You… will?”

“I will. Come, now, we wouldn’t want to waste any more of her time, would we?”

The ring goes from opaque to solid.

The low-level link has been made manifest. You feel the thread connecting you to the essence that makes Jay R. Alister himself.

You stride past him and he immediately scrambles to follow. Out of the corner of your eye, you note how Lear’s shoulders relax and give him a reassuring nod. He did a good job stalling until you could personally see to this matter yourself. If this had occurred any other time, it would’ve been your top priority, but a far more sensitive issue threatened to ensnare you in a worrisome web.

One after another, the pairs of eyes fall, like a flying pest in its final moments. Conversation resumes and the music increases in volume.

Cool air embraces you once you’re outside. This particular region is well-lit, a testimony to its prestige. Restaurants, boutiques, and other fine shops have been built with walls of dark stone naturally found on Eris for better insulation. The once rugged streets are smooth, painstakingly cobbled together by a city planner many Amber Eras ago. Any crack has molten gold poured into it so that when it dries, the ground beneath your feet is a never-ending sea of ebony and gold.

You wave over the closest security guards. The rest can be left to them, Mr. Alister has damaged his reputation enough for you to consider his dues paid. You’ll tell Thalia to take him off the registered client list for LOTUS-EATER and that’ll be the end of it. You’re preparing to head back inside when a pervasive, overpowering influence freezes you in place. It’s reminiscent of an electric current.

The taut link between you falters.

Straining…

(He’s reaching into his pocket).

Fraying…

(His hands wield a sharpened implement).

Until it snaps.

The subjugated lunges at the subjugator.

You try to re-establish the link, but there’s a fortress around his mind that wasn’t there moments prior. Imposing and unbreachable. Where did this surge of mental fortitude come from? You need to think, you need to act. There must be a way for you to regain control, your technique is unshaken even in the face of imminent demise. In the three seconds it takes for him to close the distance, you make seventy-four attempts, each ending in failure.

Has the last grain of sand fallen to the bottom of the hourglass, cementing this choice to believe in your abilities as the wrong one?

This can’t be the end. Who will take care of—

Metal clashes against metal.

The being in front of you is a shade. Tendrils of agony untold slither up from his thigh and squeeze around his neck, constantly choking him, yet refusing the sweet reprieve a crushed windpipe would give. This is a person acquainted with every suffering a living creature could ever endure. The prismatic shards that detail his countless tragedies aren’t just broken, they’re eviscerated, an indecipherable mess. Some scattered to the wind and others forcibly scratched out.

This nightmarish presence eclipses your would-be killer.

His eyes meet yours and the hairs on the back of your neck stand.

“Don’t bother,” is all he says.

He could sense you trying to poke around in his head? Has he come into contact with Arbiters before? That can’t be possible, you’re familiar with everyone on the LOTUS-EATER registry. You cease your ministrations without verbally acknowledging him. His hollow expression burns into your retinas, invading your mind’s eye. The sword he saved your life with holds a similar weight. It radiates such intensity that you needn’t use any techniques to get a better read on it.

Walking up the steps in a casual manner is the last person you wanted to see — Kafka of the Stellaron Hunters. She spares the now subdued Alister a glance then turns to face you.

“Fortunately, I had the foresight to send Bladie ahead,” she smiles. You resist the urge to scoff. “Otherwise, our meeting would’ve been far less pleasant.”

So that man’s with her, you think. That’d explain why I couldn’t make any progress.

If the defenses surrounding Alister were comparable to a fortress, the minds of the Stellaron Hunters are like a deflective shield. Any extensive attempts at trying to gain access end up backfiring and causing you damage so long as they remain up. The only other being capable of a similar feat was your mother. Now, in the few years since her death, you’ve encountered three more with similar capabilities.

Are your abilities growing dull? Or are other species simply evolving?

You order the guards to deal with Alister as they see fit, he’s no longer your primary concern.

There’s a far worse headache forming on the horizon.

“... I suppose you’ll follow me inside whether I invite you or not?” You question, just barely managing to maintain the smile painted hastily on your face.

Kafka doesn’t reciprocate your hostility. She never does. Instead, she motions in the direction you were planning on taking them to avoid any unwanted attention. The guards won’t be an issue, since they’re on your payroll. You don’t want to risk lingering and being spotted by someone without an allegiance to you.

“I won’t overstay my welcome, Exalted Arbiter. You have my word.”

By essentially showing up uninvited at your front door, she’s placed you in quite a precarious situation. The man who parried Alister’s attack hasn’t dropped his vigilance for an instant. His posture is that of an animal poised to pounce. You lack the means to fight them off should they choose to utilize force.

Your gut instinct tells you it’s a bad idea to get involved any further. Your mind reasons you can only play the cards you’re dealt.

A sigh passes by your lips. “Very well. Let’s get on with it then.”

The duo follows wordlessly behind you. Kafka remains close, whereas the swordsman lingers further back, taking care to avoid well-lit areas and remaining hidden. Had you not already been alerted to his presence, he could’ve easily slipped past your detection.

The Stellaron Hunters are a formidable group indeed.

During the short journey, you recall the text message that pushed you into this vat of strife.

It was accompanied by an animated emoticon of the magenta-haired fugitive blowing a kiss.

You’ll be in need of me shortly. See you then xoxo

“Absolutely not!”

An exclamation of unrivaled proportion leaves you, accompanied by your palms slamming against your desk. Old-fashioned writing stationary clatters noisily in the aftermath. She stops the doomed descent of one pen and then looks back to you, unperturbed.

This woman is a shadow that follows her target persistently, devising fresh torments and sowing discord wherever she steps. To fight her is to do battle with a phantom, no attacks will land. The hopeless charade serves to tire you out. Still, your pride is wounded and without a balm to assuage the tender gash. It can’t scab over to heal. Again and again, it’s reopened, fresh blood washing over what had just dried.

“I haven’t finished my proposition,” she hums. She sits in front of your desk, legs crossed, her eyes shining an eerie shade. “I wouldn’t dare to ask so much of your resources if you didn’t stand to benefit as well. Our current arrangement has helped you cut down on costs, yes?”

You drum your fingers over the wood’s lacquer finish. “The word ‘arrangement’ implies cooperation, I believe extortion would be a better fit.”

“I’ll stand by my original phrasing. The IPC has abandoned all pretense of slowly creeping up rates on shipments to Eris; what they’re charging now will look generous in a few short Trailblazer Years. They want this planet dead and their past misdeeds to die alongside it.”

“Our current projections estimate we have at least two medium-length Amber Eras before we get to that point, by then, we’ll have countermeasures in place,” you droll out. These details have been drilled into your head ever since you became the head of this quadrant. “What proof do you have that the IPC will make such a drastic move? The other factions will lodge complaints, many of them use our… exports.”

You wince at the awkward phrasing of the word ‘exports’, knowing full well she’ll pick through any vulnerability like a vulture does a corpse.

Kafka leans forward. “By ‘exports’, you must mean Eris’ most sought-after natural resource. The tonic of the nectary.”

“I’m not allowed to discuss such sensitive material with outworlders.”

“You needn’t say anything, just listen,” she pulls out a vial from inside her jacket. The familiar sheen of glimmering gold within causes your breath to hitch. “Here I have a sample of the latest synthetic developments into the tonic, courtesy of Silver Wolf. The IPC is discreetly channeling funds into the Genius Society to revitalize the research effort.”

You bite back a laugh. “That knowledge is nothing new. They’ve been trying to replicate the tonic for ages; it’s a money pit. The last I heard, the closest they could get after investing billions of credits is a 14% match.”

“Try 70%.”

She sets the vial down and nods, encouraging you to take it. You don’t.

“... You can’t be serious,” your voice sounds far away, as if it were coming from another room. “You’re bluffing.”

“You don’t have to take my word for it. Have your alchemists examine it and come to your own conclusions.”

As a disciple of Destiny’s Slave, she’s confident that this will suffice to convince you, and loathe as you are to admit it, she’s right. The repercussions of this allegation could be disastrous. It’d be irresponsible on your part to not at least run it by the appropriate channels.

“What does this intel cost me?”

“Nothing, consider it a token of good faith. There’s a more pressing matter I hoped to bring to your attention, now that that’s out of the way.”

You raise an eyebrow. “More pressing than the future of my home?”

“That’d depend on who you ask,” Kafka dances around your apprehension to a rhythm no one else has ever composed. “It has to do with my companion. I didn’t bring him here to take in the sights, he’s to stay on a job until further notice.”

The mention of that enigmatic man brings with it a resurgence of the feelings you experienced earlier. It hit like a tidal wave, concentrated and suffocating. What would someone have to endure for their psyche to be saturated in such wretchedness?

“Alright. I’ll arrange for accommodations somewhere more discreet.”

“I think it’d be best if he stayed here, at the LOTUS-EATER.”

…

“What?”

Kafka has made many requests in the time she’s known you. Normally, she uses you as a point of contact to meet influential individuals or a warehouse of yours to store important items, but this is an entirely different beast. Those endeavors fester outside your purview. You give the push necessary and wash your hands clean of the implications.

To host a Stellaron Hunter in your most lucrative establishment could very well be the start of the end.

“After the events that unfolded earlier, you should see the potential advantages. You’re in a precarious situation. The IPC can’t place a bounty on you in an official capacity, but there are ways around bureaucracy. That attempt today won’t be the last.”

She lowers her voice to an enticing whisper. “And we both know you’re not financially sound enough to hire competent help. Take him. He’ll be yours if you permit him.”

How her melodious voice can invoke such a raw desire to argue is unknown, and yet, each fiery word fizzles out to ash on your tongue. In the same way you’d establish a link for the first time, you take the pieces of information at your disposal to test where the edges might align. The unusual fees on shipments, the supposed progress on the tonic, and the overall strain that’s been placed on every level of your business — the mosaic it forms is a crimson shade with a metallic scent.

You can’t die. Not yet, not when it’d cause so many to perish alongside you.

“This goes beyond ‘a token of good faith’,” you murmur. “Kafka… there’s far more to this, isn’t there? Just what are you planning?”

For once, the curvature of her smile is genuine. Blatant insincerity would unsettle you less.

“A gift for a friend.”

Upon LOTUS-EATER’s roof sits your favorite getaway, a secluded balcony.

There’s nothing fancy about the decor, if anything, it’s worn rugged by the elements. Paint chips off the three chairs and stubborn foliage congregates no matter how often you banish it with your broom. After ensuring you can only be contacted in an emergency, you wipe the condensation off the chair furthest to the right and sit tall.

Although you aren’t alone, you keep your eyes on the starry sky.

“I would like to apologize for the behavior I displayed earlier,” you take your time with the words, ensuring each syllable has a pleasant ring. “It must’ve been from the shock, although that’s no excuse. Please allow me to thank you properly.”

An icy wind whistles through. Once it finishes, you fuss over your hair, putting each strand back in its designated place. You grimace when it picks back up again.

“You can express your gratitude by speaking normally.”

Your head snaps in his direction. You examine his side profile through narrow eyes, impatience writhing beneath your skin. He pays your poorly masked hostility no mind. One by one, each muscle in your body relaxes, a domino effect you can’t bother putting a stop to. You slump down into your chair and cross your arms over your chest.

“Have it your way,” you sigh. Your capitulation earns you his piercing stare. “Pretty words or not, I meant what I said. So, um… thank you, and…”

Despite yourself, you try meshing together a more subtle phrasing, only for those infinite pools of vermillion to act as a successful deterrent.

“I don’t like being indebted to others, it’s a hassle. So, here is my offer. I’ll perform a Synalink on you, free of charge. Or a waitlist.”

Blade exhales sharply through his nose. It takes a moment to register that your proposition amused him more than it intrigued him. The perceived affront on your capabilities causes you to bristle. This is a rare opportunity you’re granting him, surely he must’ve heard of your abilities somewhere! People spend years trying to get an audience with you. The other Arbiters you employ are capable enough, otherwise, they couldn’t work here; but you transcend their combined efforts.

“There is only one thing I’d want to experience, it’s beyond your means.”

Propping yourself up on the chair’s arm, you scoff. “Hah, try me. Any emotion, scenario, for whatever length of time; tell me what you want to experience and I can make it happen.”

He doesn’t instantly rebuke you. You share a moment of silence — almost solemn, certainly more meaningful for him than it is for you. There’s a light tug of guilt that pulls at your conscience. Perhaps it isn’t him underestimating you, but not wanting to set himself up for disappointment again. If you’re going to be occupying the same space for an unknown amount of time, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get on adequate terms. This could be the door that’ll open that path.

You clear your throat to dispense the accumulating tension. “That clothing… you must have ties to The Xianzhou Luofu, or some experience with them. Are you familiar with Immersia games?”

“Vaguely. An acquaintance of mine plays them.”

You’re confident you could put a name and face to this ‘acquaintance’. For the sake of cordiality, you keep your opinion to yourself.

“I’ve never been fond of the comparison to my work, but I suppose it’s a decent touchstone. An Immersia grants the player a simulated experience predetermined by developers. There is a degree of immersion, hence, well, the name, but that’s barely scratching the surface,” you explain.

Reassessing his body language only reveals neutrality. You decide it’s better than blatant disinterest and continue.

“Traditionally, there are thought to be five senses in advanced lifeforms. These senses don't create the continuity of reality we experience, they just break it down into bite-sized pieces for easy consumption. Forming a Synalink is akin to overclocking a computer, not placing a hard drive in a different system. Your brain finds the stimuli I send it indistinguishable from the touch of your hair against your face, or the woody scent of incense in that jar.”

His eyebrows crease slightly downward. “A single glimpse into my mind was enough to send you recoiling, and still, this is an offer you’re comfortable making?”

You purse your lips. It’s a fair point.

“That was… different. Ideally, any link should be made in a stable environment to minimize disruptions. I had nearly been—” You cut yourself off, finding the sentence to be one you’d rather not finish. “—You know, so I wasn’t at optimal performance. That’s why we have private rooms in The Lounge.”

Your nostrils flare when he keeps regarding you with that impassive expression. Is his face permanently frozen? Does he need to be unpaused? You almost want to snap your fingers in front of him.

“Hey, you’d be less effective if you had to improvise and fight with, say, a spoon. Would your combat ability be based on that one irregular instance or the total sum of all your fights? Hm? What you witnessed earlier was my irregular instance. If you’re open to the idea, I can make it work.”

Blade shifts so that he can resume gazing at the sky. Before you can celebrate your victory in this one-sided battle of wits, he speaks up. His voice adheres to a softer creed.

“You are…” he trails off, taking care to select the proper description, “Remarkably strange.”

Your eye twitches.

This has been a miserable cycle. You had to breathe the same air as Kafka, deal with a drunk client that later tried to stab you, and you found out the main export that keeps your planet’s economy from total collapse might be duplicable. All things considered, you should be giving this guy the cold shoulder for the problems he’ll inevitably cause in your future. Altruism gets you about as far as jumping into the air and hoping that’ll transport you through space.

“Forget it, then,” you get up and twist around. The chair you formally occupied scrapes loudly against the ground. You don’t spare him a single glance while traversing the few steps that separate you from a long, well-deserved rest. Maybe you’ll be extra petty and lock the door so he has to remain here until you wake up. The olive branch has been extended, if he wants to take it and break it in two, that’s his prerogative.

You raise your hand to unlock the door when abruptly, something captures your wrist.

Your heart stutters.

There isn’t the softness of flesh or the warmth that radiates off skin. Instead, you feel the textured surface of bandages graze against you in a featherlight touch. You know the vice-like grip he’s capable of. You saw it in how he clutched the grip of his sword, like it was the only thing he was good for. Gentleness cannot come naturally to someone of his disposition. It’s an intentional choice that requires swimming against the tide.

Shakily, you exhale, hoping it’ll ease how your hands tremble.

When was the last time someone touched you? Ah… it must’ve been then.

You will the thought away.

Blade doesn’t tether you down for more than a few seconds, just long enough to ensure your attention is back on him. Your skin tingles where he came into contact with you. It’s a prickly, blisteringly hot sensation that starts at your wrist and spreads all over. You squeeze your eyelids shut in a last-ditch effort to recompose yourself.

He’s looking straight at you when your eyes reopen.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he says. You find it strange how quick you are to believe him. “If you sincerely think yourself up to the task, then…”

There it is again, that swelling of feeling, visceral to a degree every survival instinct screams at you to turn away.

You find yourself leaning in closer.

He rewards your burning curiosity with the unprecedented utterance:

"Show me what it's like to die."

#blade x reader #yandere blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #yandere hsr x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #nexus #my stuff

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engeorged · 8 months

Text

Please Feed the Bears

Words and concept by @fillthattank and @engeorged

Artwork by @badoobers

Having spent four years in teacher training college and 8 years working in shitty schools, Dan was done being a teacher. Like most of his colleagues, he loved the kids and teaching, but the red tape was killing him. He was still spending hours and hours every evening lesson planning, marking and setting goals. Even just engaging with parents through the new app the school had imposed took an hour a night now. He was done.

The job had taken his whole life. He didn’t have a social life any more, he didn’t have time for friends, let alone dating. He used to be hot! Six pack abs and thick biceps left over from his rugby days, but late night pizza orders and rushed meals whilst sat in his sofa marking had put an end to that. He wasn’t unfit as such, (he still cycled to work!) but he had a definite little pot belly now with a jiggle when he walked and his ass was forcing him to buy jeans two sizes too big.

He’d begun to put aside a little money each month to go travelling and it was now time to cash in. He gleefully handed in his resignation and booked his tickets. He was going to fulfil a life long dream and tour America. His money wouldn’t last long but he’d be able to get a little cash in hand job every few months and settle down for a bit and that should last him. All his mates did it when he was training and he was beginning to feel like he had missed out, so now was his chance. The morning of the flight came and he felt so free and so excited! He’d sold everything he had accumulated in his shitty flat, gotten rid of his bike and the keys to the flat. All he had in the world was shoved into his backpack. The world was his oyster.

Three months later

The bubble burst two weeks into the adventure when he was robbed on a metro in New York. All his cash and bank cards were gone. When he had phoned his insurance company, they had gone bust overnight and so there was no payout. He refused to phone his parents. He was 30, that would be so humiliating. And they wouldn’t be gracious about it, they had already told him this was a childish idea to go travelling on a whim like a teenager. They’d probably give him money to come home, where he’d end up living in their house for a few years whilst he did supply teaching jobs in horrific schools. No thank you, he’d sort this out himself. He got a job for a few months, cash in hand with no questions asked, doing deliveries for a pizza place in New York which gave him enough money to travel west and a constant supply of free pizza. Sure it was on the bus, and sure he’d put on a few more pounds but at least he’d done it himself. He arrived in what the bus driver called ‘Butt Fuck Nowhere’ ready to work.

He booked himself into a cheap and sleazy hotel. He had enough money for one night which meant he needed to find himself a job fast. After making a few enquiries he found the only real place to work for foreigners was in a massive theme park just on the edges of the town. He hiked his way there and found the employment office and made his case. In lieu of a formal interview, the guy looked him up and down and made his assessment. Dan was 6’5 and so being tall, tall, he would be the park's main mascot, Buster. Buster was a big bear and the costume was huge, with loads of room inside. The only upside was that his face wouldn’t be entirely covered by the costume. Instead there was a little hat with bear ears he would have to wear.

He would have to do a trial before he was offered the job for real, and the eventual pay would be $15 an hour, which didn't seem like a lot. Whilst Dan signed the contract, the boss called for his helper who was a short burly guy in his late twenties called Mitch, with a gravely voice that made it sound like he smoked 40 a day. Mitch’s eyes perked up when he saw Dan.

‘He’ll do!’ Said Mitch, his eyes hungrily taking in Dan’s face and height.

‘Hey!’ Said Dan, holding out his hand. Mitch shook it enthusiastically.

‘Hope you’re hungry!’ Said Mitch

‘What?’ Said Dan, a little confused but he began taking off his clothes ready to get into the costume. He was about to pull it on when Mitch stopped him and pushed him over to a pair of scales. ‘Step on’ Mitch encouraged him.

‘I’m a little husky at the moment!’ Dan replied nervously

‘That’s not a bad thing.’ Mitch replied as he took the reading from the digital scales.

‘Hang on? Why did you need that?’ Dan asked, realising that that was weird.

Instead of replying, Mitch just held out the costume. Dan slid it on, pulling his arms through the holes. It wasn’t as heavy as it looked and was a little baggy round his middle but it seemed to fit ok.

‘Why did you need my weight?’ He tried again as he did the zip up, but he was bundled out of the office and into the park without an answer

It was early, but already, Dan could see people walking around. He wasn't entirely sure if they were fellow employees or visitors. They weren't wearing any uniform, but they looked like adult men. Way more adult men than he'd expect at a theme park.

Years of teaching had killed most inhibitions and fear of embarrassment within Dan, so he jumped up and down, danced a bit, acted like he thought a man in a bear-suit was expected to act.

"Hey, it's Buster Bear!" he heard someone say.

Dan turned round, and waved. It was a group of guys, six he counted, looking around 30. A big variety of heights and builds, though they all looked pretty hairy.

One of the guys came running towards him.

"C'mon guys, let's bust the bear!' he said, to the others.

When the guy arrived, Dan didn't even have time to talk. The guy shoved a hot dog right into his mouth. Dan was a bit shocked, but started chewing. It wasn't a bad hot dog.

No sooner had Dan swallowed that another guy shoved a hot dog into his mouth. Dan was even more surprised, but hey, the customer is king, and he was kinda hungry anyway, so he chewed and swallowed.

The six guys proceeded to shove a hot dog each into his mouth. He wasn’t expecting that at all but as he was on probation he didn’t want to challenge it. His minder stood to the side happily watching and not saying a word. Was this a thing here? It didn’t take long but he ended up eating six hot dogs in a short space of time.

This first guy moved to feed a second one but Mitch stepped in. ‘You know the rules, big guy. Let someone else have a go. Move along now!’

Admitting defeat the six guys moved on laughing and patting each other on the back. When they were at a safe distance he turned to Mitch ‘What the hell was that?’

‘Did no one tell you?’ He laughed. ‘It’s just a cute thing we have here. When you see Buster bear you have to feed him something. It’s just for fun! You’ll get used to it!’

Dan was so confused. It was one thing giving the bear a small thing but he’d just eaten six whole hot dogs and he’d been on the job for 15 minutes! Also why were they grown ass men? Theme parks are for kids right? He wasn’t even sure what question to ask first. He opened his mouth to ask something and found a churro in it. Two young bearded guys had snuck up behind him. They happily began feeding him a big churro each. Dan was starting to feel pretty full already but he really needed this job. He’d have time to ask questions in a moment. So he played along. Rubbing his furry tummy and chewing he ate a churro from each of them.

As they walked away, clearly happy he heard one of them comment about how hot he was which gave him a little rush of pleasure, followed by a touch of embarrassment.

Turning to Mitch he formulated his question ‘Where are the kids?’

Mitch looked at him like he’d said something crazy inappropriate and just shook his head. ‘Dude this place is for adults only! Now look lively. Here comes another group of customers.

Totally confused, Dan turned and saw four guys coming towards him with huge bellies and carrying buckets of loaded fries. Before he could say anything, a chubby hand stuffed a fist full of fries into his mouth. They were hot and salty and covered in bacon and cheese and so good. He could ignore the full feeling with fries as tasty as this. A few fistfuls in, and the dudes started fighting over who got to feed him the next lot.

‘Bro wait your turn?’ The lead guy said in a thick southern accent.

‘This is my turn dick face?’ Replied a guy who looked like he could be his brother, shoving him out of the way with his fat ass.

Dan found himself amidst four angry fat guys who’d clearly had a few too many beers and his teaching skills suddenly kicked in.

‘Boys, there’s plenty of room in my tank, now just keep the fries coming!’

It calmed the situation a bit but still was a little tense. A few of the guys were squaring up to each other and getting riled up. Guided by Dan the fries were soon put away turn by turn into his filling tank. Pacified and pleased with themselves the men staggered away punching one another on the arms as they went.

The four buckets of fries on top of the hotdogs and churros suddenly weighed heavy on Dan's stomach. He belched loudly and gave his belly a rub. ‘How come you didn’t intervene man?’ He asked Mitch

‘You seemed to be handling those dumb asses pretty well yourself?’ Mitch laughed back

‘I thought it was one thing per person? You said that was the rule?’

‘Yeah but they had the golden buckets. They paid extra. They can feed you the whole lot if they want!’ Mitch explained. ‘Let’s keep going, bud!’

Dan uncomfortably followed on behind Mitch, feeling the heavy food settling as his stomach set about the task of digesting. Over the next hour or so they encountered several more guys, all keen to feed something to Buster. Dan played the part, eating up the burgers, candy apples and handfuls of popcorn. All the food they seemed to serve at this place was full-on junk food. It didn’t hurt that it all tasted so good. The pace was fast but not too bad. He felt like he was keeping up. He’d always had a big appetite and would often find himself eating his feelings when he was back in school. And he needed this job. He couldn’t bring himself to contact his parents. There were just two more hours of the trial left, he could do this. He was beginning to notice that the costume was feeling a little claustrophobic. It felt super roomy when he put it on but he was feeling the material clinging to his skin a bit now. It was super hot inside too. He could really do with something to drink. He would look for some dudes with beers or something if that was allowed.

The next encounter he had was two good looking college bros with backwards caps and muscle tees. Unfortunately they didn’t have beers but they fed Dan a funnel cake each. He’d never seen one of these before but the sweet dough tasted amazing. Afterwards though he began to feel a little uncomfortably full. The last few bites were a little hard work. He could feel grease and the pressure of food in his packed stomach reaching a slightly more painful place. When they had gone he asked Mitch if he could take a ten minute break. Mitch reluctantly agreed but said he couldn’t take the suit off. He took him behind one of the rides where they found a little bench. Dan eased himself down and instantly regretted sitting. The pressure reached a peak which made him wince and stand back up. Tentatively, he sat back down and leant back on his arms. Under the suit, he arched his back to give his belly space to expand. Mitch grinned. ‘Ready to give up yet?’

‘No man, I’m good’ Dan lied.

‘There’s pockets!’ Mitch offered smiling still

‘What?’ Dan was feeling a little light headed with how full he was feeling and he didn’t really know what Mitch was talking about.

Mitch leant over and pulled a small zip down on the side by Dan's hip. ‘If you need to give your belly a rub, there’s a small pocket. Trust me on this. You need all the help you can get before the lunch rush!’

The prospect of a lunch rush was something Dan would need to deal with in a few minutes but for now he eased his hand into the side of his costume and felt the warm flesh of his distended furry belly. He couldn’t trust himself to think back over how much food was in him, it would just make him queasy. For now he just closed his eyes and gave his tight belly a good rub.

‘Come on buster!’ Mitch said after a too short amount of time. ‘You need to be back on the tarmac!’

Begrudgingly Dan stood, admittedly feeling a little better after the rub. He could almost feel the food redistributing itself as he moved.

‘Hang on, What did you mean lunch rush?’ He asked his guide as they walked.

Mitch just smiled. ‘Happy hour!’ He repeated cryptically.

Leading the way, Mitch took Dan back into the park where they made their way to an area set up next to a steep roller coaster. A little food hut decorated to look like a large picnic basket was serving food to a long queue of guys, all who started cheering as they saw Buster Bear approaching. This made Dan's stomach lurch a little. That was a lot of guys buying food. ‘Should we keep moving?’ He asked Mitch nervously.

‘Why would we do that? This is your chance to prove you deserve the job.’ He pointed at a large wooden throne just next to the clearing. ‘Take a seat’

Reluctantly Dan shuffled towards the chair and sat down. It was surprisingly comfy and the position of the seat meant that he was nearly stood up which put no extra pressure on his already packed belly. He gulped as he realised that the design was probably on purpose.

One by one the men left the queue and joined a new one in front of Dan. They all had their fast food clutched in their hands ready to feed Buster. Mitch leant in and whispered into Dan's ear. ‘If you can survive this, the job's yours. And did you read the small print?’

Dan shook his head nervously. ‘No?’ He admitted, looking to find a way out of this. There was no way this was worth $15 an hour.

‘At the end of the day we weigh you and you get $50 per pound you put on. You get a bonus for the more food you eat!’

That changed things for Dan. He really needed that cash. He’d nearly used up the last of his money staying at the motel in town and without this job, he’d not have enough for the next few days. A few hundred dollars could really come in handy right now. He could eat a lot? What’s 10 lbs of food look like? That’s $500 dollars. Surely that could be doable? He set his jaw and nodded to Mitch ‘let’s go’

The stream of food that followed was unreal. Each guy shoved one thing into Dan's open mouth and he chewed and swallowed like his life depended on it. Corn dogs, tacos, hamburgers, onion rings and fries all disappeared down under the fur of the costume into his hidden but rapidly expanding belly. He didn’t allow himself time to consider how much food there was or how he was going to feel afterwards, he just kept the thought of the dollars ringing in his ears. Ice cream and donuts, beers and sodas all sucked down into his filling tank. The guys queuing were loving it and Dan was fully playing the part of a greedy bear. Growling and snarling as their sweaty palms pushed the calorific food into his mouth. Mitch’s face slowly turned from a smiling sneer, laughing at Dan's fate, to one of admiration. He’d been with a lot of Busters and Dan was eating like one of the best. He’d spent many an afternoon with a sorry dude in a bear costume throwing up into a bin after a shift but this guy seemed to be an absolute eating unit. Towards the end of the happy hour though he started being a little worried. This guy had eaten a lot. Like, too much. Even with the bear costume on he could see that his gut was beginning to push against the fabric.

As Dan was being fed a large chicken tender the bell went to signal the end of happy hour. Dan looked a little confused as he snapped out of his feeding frenzy. The rest of the guys in the queue all shared a collective groan as Mitch told them that the bear needed to head back to his cave for his nap whilst Dan looked on, totally dazed. As Mitch shooed away the queue, the volume of food inside Dan’s belly suddenly made itself very known. He felt the skin over his belly stretched and tight and the pressure that had built up inside him became very apparent. He had never in his whole life felt as full as he did right now. In the distance he heard Mitch talking to him. He wasn’t sure what he was saying but he nodded and allowed Mitch to help him to his feet. The new weight in front of him made him stagger a little at first as he felt the food lurch inside his belly balloon. A large belch escaped and he found himself laughing. Mitch led him through the park round the back, fortunately not encountering any more punters eager to offload some more food into his aching gut.

Coming round a little bit he found himself back in the offices, just him and Mitch, who was looking at him in a concerned way. ‘I said are you ok bud?’

Dan belched again in response. ‘I think I’m ok? I ate a lot.’

‘Yeah. You did.’ Mitch nodded in agreement. ‘You wanna take off the costume?’

Dan nodded. He went to undo the zip but found the fabric was restricting his movement. Mitch fished around under his neck and pulled the zip down to the bottom of his ribs. The rush of cool air was like heaven as he peeled his arms out of the costume. He went to pull the zipper down but his bloated midsection was now an obstacle. Pulling it out, he managed to get the zip to slide down to the underneath of his belly which pushed itself through. Dan looked up into the mirror on the wall opposite. Shocked, he saw the full extent of his four hours of being stuffed by random strangers. His belly was enormous. The furry skin stretched tight over the mass of food contained inside. Round and expansive, his belly looked like it had been photoshopped. His gut had completely filled the baggy costume.

‘Holy fucking Mac and cheese balls’ Mitch exclaimed reaching over to give his belly a poke. Even his heavy handed push hardly made a dent in it.

‘It feels like I’ve swallowed quick drying cement!’ Dan complained. ‘Help me out of this fucking thing!’

Mitch pulled the costume down round his ankles, headbutting his engorged stomach by accident. ‘Shit man, sorry!’ He said rubbing his head

Standing there in just his pants Dan couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. He was enormous. His furry belly and body made him look like he was still wearing the fat bear costume.

Mitch nodded at the scales. ‘Wanna see how much we owe you?’ He asked

‘I’m gonna bankrupt you!’ Dan managed to joke as he stepped on.

Mitch whistled, clearly impressed. ‘Fuck me man. You’ve done well there today! I’d have to check but I’m pretty sure that’s a company record!’

‘Tell me man!’ Dan pleaded.

"We owe you $850 man! You’ve eaten 17 lbs of food!!’

Dan nearly passed out with shock. Taking another look in the mirror his distended belly looked like he was pregnant. Sticking out from under his ribs it rolled down in a wide curve till it tapered in where the ghost of his Adonis belt framed the underside.. All he wanted to do right now was sleep this off

‘You’ve definitely got the job!’ Mitch reassured him. ‘See you again tomorrow?’

————————————————————

If you want to continue Dans story yourself you can head here where you will find a chat bot programmed to be Dan at the end of this story!

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