#lifestealau

[beaningeneraldenial]

IT'S HERE THE REWRITE IS HERE - I am continuing on the old version for sentimentality reasons :)

[beaningeneraldenial]

Xisuma loves curry.

It isn't that well-known of a fact, though some of the old hermits know of it due to their long, long friendship. He loves fitness too but nothing can surpass the joy of food and in his case: curry.

That being said, Parrot doesn't know why the voidwalker trailing behind him is eating a bowl of curry instead of killing people. How can someone like curry that much anyway? To the point where he is just docile and content to walk through the derilict streets of Lifesteal?

"So, Parrot", Parrot flinches when Xisuma regards him. He looks over his shoulder to see an empty bowl held in gloved and armour-plated hands and the helmet's visor covering the man's face. Uh oh. "What do you do for a living?"

Oh. For a second, he thought that Xisuma would ask for another bowl. To be fair, when he'd asked if they could get some food from a rundown restaurant, Parrot was hesitant with his little pocket change coins but he prefered a satisfied voidwalker to a bloodthirsty one.

...Not that Xisuma exudes the infamous aura of death and anger that only Clownpierce can match. The guy is weirdly calm for what the stories say.

"I, uh-," Parrot tugs at his collar nervously, "Nothing special." he says carefully.

"We've got a lot of time."

[beaningeneraldenial]

Clown is angry.

He has every right to be; for about a week now, he's been trying to track down the guy who shot him in the head with little to no success. A few rumors here, a few rumors there. People around have been calling him 'Hot Guy', because apparently that's his only catchphrase.

Oh, yeah. The man is trying to play hero. In Lifesteal, there are no heroes. You're either a villain or a peasant trying to stay alive a day longer and now that stranger is trying to cause issues for everyone.

'Everyone' being the people in the heart trading business. That includes Clown as well but he only wants revenge -though a free target for hearts would be nice too.

"There is this avian who has been spotted with him", Branzy comments off-handedly from the bed, where he is tinkering with some cogs and wires and some other bits that Clown couldn't hope to name. "He's called 'Cute Guy', god knows why. They're a hero duo now"

Clown lets his forehead bang against the desk, right next to Branzy's elaborate redstone blueprints and his own neat row of knives.

Some shuffling comes from the bed, followed by footsteps and the badly hidden chuckles of his partner in crime. Leave it to Branzy to console someone through their sulking.

"There, there, Clown" -he pats his back- "You're the deadliest assassin in all of Lifesteal. Even if they're stab-proof, they aren't trap-proof"

---------

The following week is a whole lot of diggin'. Well, it's more like Clown watching Branzy run around the old funhouse design in the bottom of his casino, connecting and disconnecting wires and repairing the damages Vitalasy and Cube caused the last time they were down there. This lucrative endeavor of an establishment has been closed for that period of time, so that the new 'content' won't be leaked.

All he does is wriggle his fingers together as he sees the plan slowly but surely take shap and sharpen his scythe until the blade can slice the thinnest, most see-through slice of a tomato.

"How- It's that sharp?", Branzy is bewildered at the sight of the perfectly skinned tomato on the bar counter. Clown grins. "You know what, I won't even ask how you managed to do that"

"It was a lot of hard work, sweat and tears of the innocent"

"Tears of the innocent"

"I had to test the sharpness somehow"

Branzy stares for a second, then shakes his head, gives him a pointed look, silently communicating 'The less I know, the less I can confess in court' and walks back to the pit.

----------

Hot Guy and Cute Guy are a lot easier to lure than anticipated. Upon opening night, Clown spots the two bantering with some guests near the blackjack tables from the overhead, 'Staff Only' balcony. He gently nudges Branzy's side and watches as the man walks down the stairs to go collect them.

As he does that, Clown grabs his scythe and descends to the bottom of the funhouse pit.

The swirling red, purple and black colours are familiar and comforting. He stands right in the middle of the floor, listening intently on the laughter and joyful screaming coming from the funhouse rooms that are meters above.

Soon, the first target is falling through the ceiling. It's Hot Guy, the wingless of the duo and the sickening crunch that follows his fall is music to Clown's ears. He doesn't pounce yet, wanting to kill two birds with one stone.

Cute Guy is close to the other's timing. Though winged, the avian can't do much more than flap his parrot wings fruitlessly and collide with the wall and then slide to the ground in cartoon fashion.

"Welcome to the Funhouse!", Clown calls out, dashing to Hot Guy and swinging his scythe. The man yells and shouts apologies at him to stop but the blade has already been set into motion.

The other hero has managed to stand on shaky legs by the time he's done with the now-corpse that is already sizzling away, one heart down and Clown one heart up. Back to twenty.

"Hey, we can talk about this, fella!"

Clown doesn't think that they can talk about this. Silent as always, he stalks towards his pray. Branzy whistles above, probably looking at the bloody mess that is the pit he worked so hard on.

And Cute Guy pulls a gun out of nowhere. A pink gun with a heart on either side to match his equally pink outfit. The warning shot misses Clown's ear by a hair. It's a power play, he undesrtands that but now that he has an audience to appease, he has to play into the theatrics as well.

"Next time, I won't miss!", his voice dances. There is a light tremble to it; barely there but Clown's senses are enhanced and he picks up on it without issue.

Then he slices clean through the muzzle of the gun with his scythe. The hero is absolutely shell-shocked, shrieking and Clown laughs as he mocks him.

"Next time, I won't miss!", he follows through with his words. The guy's heart doesn't add to his count but it instead floats right above the hero's corpse. It's a deep purple with a swirling darkness inside it; Clown has never seen anything like it.

At the end of it, all that's left is the blood, the adrenaline and the slow, impressed clapping coming from Branzy.

Revenge had been served.

[beaningeneraldenial]

These past two weeks have felt like months

I really thought I hadn't updated in months, so I speedran half of it lol

We only have one more chapter left, ya'll. This is so sad but also so happy of an event for me :,)

[beaningeneraldenial]

The ending has arrived! WoooO! It's been a good run with this bad boy but now it's time to return to my other fics that I've been ignoring :D

[beaningeneraldenial]

It's been a month and I paid for it dearly. Look, the angst jumped at me and wouldn't leave me until I wrote it! It just happened! (Some serious angst in the second segment, please read with caution <3)

[beaningeneraldenial]

Voidwalkers are very rare in Lifesteal. Not only are they powerful with powers and boosts that no one can really comprehend but they are also notoriously vengeful -that last factor is what is keeping every underground organization and mafia from seeking them out. At least, that's what the rumors say because no one has seen a voidwalker in decades.

So Parrot is pleasantly surprised when Xisuma, the voidwalker who broke into his house somehow, proves all those rumors wrong... at least the ones about them being vengeful. Then again, he doesn't have another voidwalker as an example to compare Xisuma to; it could just be an individual thing.

The only thing the rumors have got right so far is the appearance: armor made of some incredibly hard stuff and helmet (no one knows why voidwalkers wear it, maybe Parrot will ask at some point) and the custom-made gas-like mask that lets them breathe in... whatever it is they breathe in.

"So, have you seen either of them?", Xisuma asks. He gave Parrot a good discription of the people he's looking for and to say that the avian wasn't surprised to hear the voidwalker talk like his bow-enthusiast friend's antics was an everyday thing would be a lie.

"I've seen the guy with the bow. He killed Jester yesterday"

And maybe he should ask more essential questions, like, where did the voidwalker come from? Why are there happy-go-lucky people who shoot an arrow and are immediately surprised when they drop dead? Y'know, the more... normal (for lack of a better word) questions.

Especially since Xisuma hasn't shown a single sign of aggression since the, um, incident.

"Oh! Do you know where he might be?"

"No?", what, does he think that after witnessing the murder of Jester, the deadliest assassin in all of Lifesteal, owner of twenty hearts (the maximum one can have on them) and a vault rumored to hold dozens more, he'd stick around?

Xisuma hums, thinks, and then gets up from the couch. Parrot raises an eyebrow.

"I'll be out of your hair then, I'm sorry for spooking you, Parrot"

Parrot watches as Xisuma shows himself out, speechless at the fact that the guy is going to walk outside during nighttime. Alone. He books it to the living room window (somewhat boarded up but there is enough space for him to slip out) aaaaand, yeah, the dude is already being tailed by low-level thugs.

Xisuma should be fine... he is a voidwalker, he should be able to handle this but at the same time, Xisuma doesn't look like the guy who would put up much of a fight... If he owed Parrot a favor, then that would be fantastic.

He defenestrates himself with glee.

[beaningeneraldenial]

Following that crossover idea, the first blgroup of hermits to join would be (the two oblivious people and the one trying to remain sane):

Scar as HoTgUy with the best aim ever

Grian as Cute Guy, HoTgUy's sidekick. Has Watcher powers but he hides them because no one needs to know how powerful he really is

Xisuma as Voidwalker. He can't breathe oxygen so he wears a whole suit of armor and a gas mask.

2nd group (the crazies):

Cleo as Medusa, a Naga with a fashion sense who also knows a lot about science for some reason

Doc as the Goatfather because I enjoy this alias more than I should, a crazy science guy who enjoys making monstrous robots... also owns a baby goat bc it's his brand

Zedaph as Zedaph, has sheep powers (e.g. kick real hard) and sheep features (ears, horns, tail). No one really knows how to deal with his craziness, so they just leave him be and regret it later

This is as much as I've got in terms of the HC cast, most Lifesteal members will appear as we go. !!!Cast is subject to change!!!

[beaningeneraldenial]

Hello hello, we have children menaces in this house–

It's been a while since I posted, hasn't it? Well, I have returned with a lot of plot and a lot of story >:D

[beaningeneraldenial]

Grian meets a guy, a bad guy

The rift spit him our in the middle of a park, in the middle of the night. Enclosed, shady, unprotected park with more than a few shady people walking around. He can already smell trouble in the air before he sees it.

Sadly, he sees it soon enough.

After getting his bearings and looking over his shoulder multiple times, Grian decides to leave his impromptu hiding spot behind some hedges and walk on the main path of the park. It's empty enough to warranty a safe place for him to rest and look for his friends after.

This small... inhibition, per se, of the rift –splitting them up and throwing them gods know where– has made this mission quite troublesome for him. While he could reach for his powers, tucked away in a metaphorical coffet, Grian likes a good challenge.

Finding Mumbo is a challenge in and of itself.

In the corner of his mind, he knows that he's being followed or at the very least, watched. No, he isn't paranoid. He just caught a glimpse of someone walking behind him at some point and when he turned to see –to ask for directions too– there was no one there.

He shrugs and continues walking. The entrance of the park is just up ahead, he'll probably make it without issue.

Aaaand that is where he is proven wrong, apparently, because he is shoved towards a tree trunk face-first, his back hitting the bark of it when he is spun around at the last second. The back of his head bangs against it, too, and goodness, he hopes there aren't any splinters in his head now.

His wings have been awkwardly caught between him and the tree. They're in a position where he can't flap them without risking all sorts of injuries that he can't heal. The rift took away all his equipment, inconveniently, meaning that he has no health potions on him and no weapon to strike back with when the cold blade of a knife is pressed to his throat.

He looks at his assailant, who is close enough to obscure everything from the neck down– Brown hair, gray, shining eyes, black mask pulled over his mouth and nose. Grian huffs a chuckle because this guy thinks his identity can be hidden that easily from him, which he finds funny. The guy, obviously, lacks a sense of humor. The blade is pressed firmer against his skin.

Granted, this is a stranger and there is no way some random guy would know that Grian has weird ways of knowing things but...

"Waffles or pancakes?"

That– That question leaves Grian at a loss.

"I– what..."

You'd think a man who has a knife to your throat would be demanding your bag or mugging you at this point.

"Waffles...", the guy insists, "or pancakes"

"Waffles?"

"Hmmm..."

For a second, Grian panics. Did he answer wrong? Was the answer neither "waffles" nor "pancakes"?

And then the guy pushes himself off of him and Grian subconsciously rubs his throat. Thankfully, the knife didn't do any damage there. That's good.

"Parker", the guy says, extending a hand to Grian. Is that his name? Grian doubts that it is. He shakes his hand anyways –if only to establish contact and leave a mark on him.

"That was really unnecessary", he tells Parker.

He takes the offered distance as a chance to examine the rest of him. Blue and yellow bomber jacket that has definitely seen better days and a simple pair of jeans. Grian wonders how many pockets the jacket has.

"Oh, it was completely necessary", Parker responds, stuffing his hands in his pockets, having out the knife away a second ago. "Waffles are superior to pancakes"

"Oookay, then", he hums to himself, unsure what to make of that. "Have you seen anyone who fell out of the sky by any chance?"

But he may as well use this guy as a way to find his friends, regroup and finally find Mumbo.

"Uh... no?"

Or maybe he can skip the first part of that list.

Oh and sure, Parker can look at him like he is the crazy one out of the two of them. That makes sense.

[beaningeneraldenial]

I really love superhero aus but I also really love crossovers. And I've been thinking... what if there was a Lifesteal x Hermitcraft Crossover where everyone on Lifesteal is a villain and the hermits are the heroes?

It'd start with Mumbo. The disappearance of Mumbo Jumbo who no one seems to be able to find anywhere. Main suspect is: the rift. Convenient enough. Mumbo is clumsy enough to fall in by accident.

The hermits hop through, intent on finding their lost hermit, having zero (0) idea what they'll find on the other side.

They end up in Lifesteal, a city with incredibly high criminal activity, such as gun smuggling and heart trading.

That last concept is foreign to the hermits, who don't know what that is.

Lifesteal is just confused as to where the fluff all those people came from. Because a) everyone knows that if you die, you lose a life. The hermits don't. And b) everyone knows that if you walk the streets alone, you're either crazy good at stabbing or in a hurry. The hermits don't fall in either category.

The hermits are sus and the LifestealSMP gang are intent on figuring out who they are.

But in the end, where is Mumbo?

[beaningeneraldenial]

The Admins (Part 2-electric boogaloobooboo)

Parrot sighs in relief once he gets to the front door of his apartment. Another day, another deal with shady people made, another dozen of pants sold in the definitely-not-illegal market in the city sewers. Profit was made both for himself and for the No Pants People Party; the very famous pants-selling organization.

To be fair, the fact that all the pants were worn by famous people is a lie. No one has to know that, though. Parrot just roughs up each pair (more like throws them around his living room) and tosses it in the cheapest clothes detergent he can find before handing it over to the first guillible person that passes by the stall.

The moment he steps inside his house (and closes the door behind him), he thinks he's hearing things. He didn't leave his computer running, did he? No, he can recall turning it off as he does most electrical things (electricity bills have been harder to pay these days).

That leaves only one scenario: there is a burglar in his house. His blood runs cold. What if it's that psycho that killed Jester –fucking Jester– who is rummaging around his closet?

As a safety precaution, he grabs the sword that is hidden under the couch cushions (no, no one has been stabbed in the butt yet) and proceeds to investigate.

Silent as a bat, he makes his way down the hall, wings folded neatly against his back as he casts a net on all of his emotions. The door to his room is half-open but dark. No lights have been turned on -he didn't even turn the one in the living room on; this was a sudden development afterall. He can't see the reflection of a light, meaning that this burglar has nightvision or something of the like.

Eh, it isn't the first time Parrot has had to deal with that.

The idiot trips right as he opens the door and Parrot doesn't hesitate to stab first and ask questions later. He doesn't remove the sword from the guy's neck right away -he isn't in the mood to clean up more blood than necessary- so he flips on the light switch and kneels down to get a closer look at the criminal before they dissipate into thin air.

Unusual armor, unusual gas-type mask, a tank it is connected to on the guy's hip. Parrot doesn't know what to make of it. It isn't any sort of oxygen mask that he's accustomed tooo- oooh no. It's a damn voidwalker. Crap.

Voidwalkers are notorious for being aggressive and vengeful and they can teleport. Or as their name suggests: they walk through the void, or void-travel.

He is so screwed. How is he going to get out of this one? Nevermind the extra heart; he's about to lose all three of them (voidwalker heart included)!

"Hello?"

His blood runs cold. Turning, he sees the guy come out of his storage room, only now he's wearing pink body armor and his mask has fins coming out of it. Frilly fins. It is… weirdly reminiscent of an axolotl.

"Ah! Excuse me!", Parrot, over his panic spiking on red, doesn't hear what the guy has to say. He screams and slams the door shut.

Then a second later, he thinks that this is a stupid move. The guy can teleport into his room if he so liked. Or he could grab him from the shadows like Spoke had that one time-

"I'm sorry for scaring you! Please, could we talk?"

"No!"

"I- I just spawned in here. I don't know where I am!"

"Fuck off!"

A pause.

"Please?"

"Get out of my house!"

"I'm looking for my friends! Another avian like you and a happy-go-lucky man with a bow"

Oh, this is far worse than Parrot first thought. Not only is a voidwalker trying to bait him out of his room (not using his powers for whatever reason) but he is also friends with a psycopath. Oh, this is just amazing. nOt.

But! But he could turn things around… maybe. If the guy isn't interested in killing him, then maybe he could get out of this position.

"If I open the door, do you promise not to kill me?"

"Why would I- Sure, I promise on the Void"

That's as good a promise as he'll get, probably. Reluctantly, Parrot opens the door, sword still held in his hand and wings pressed against his back.

It's going to be fiiiiine.

Part 1

Part 2 (You are here!)

[beaningeneraldenial]

Enter Xisuma - The Admins (Part 1)

Xisuma doesn't arrive at the same time as Scar and Grian. In fact, he is late by one day. For some reason, the rift can control both time and space, it appears, although Xisuma's voidwalking can be put to question regarding the lapse in time.

Oh, whatever, that's just food for thought that is better eaten cold rather than hot. He'll leave it for another day.

His current problem is… how does he get out of this… base? House? What is it?

Well, starting from square one, he is on a bed, his stuff missing from his tool belt but thankfully his mask and void canister are still attached to his body armor. That's one less thing to panic over. Phew-

He gets up, slowly, giving himself time to look at every little detail. No, this isn't a house; it looks more like a storage area for... are these trousers? And pants?

He lets go of the pair of pants immediately once he realizes what he's holding like it's burnt him- they land on the floor with a poof.

The rest of the storage area is much the same. He figures that he is in a clothes store or something of the like- so that means that there is civilization behind that door over there-

It's a house. Or an apartment. There is a living room that is directly connected to a small kitchen with only a bar to separate them. There is a short hallway to the side, leading to some other rooms that -judging by what he saw in the previous room- he doesn't want to know the contents of.

"Hello?", he calls out. Evident by the clothes and shoes strewn about, not to mention the forgotten bowl of noodles on the sink, there must be someone living here. There is no answer.

...He may as well explore then, even though he doesn't think he'll like what he'll find in the rest of the house...

Wait a minute? Shouldn't he leave? He should look for his friends, they must be so scared and alone- Oh, who is he kidding? Scar and Grian? Afraid? Pfff, best joke of the year!

May as well remain here until the owner returns. That's his best chance at finding both men.

The first room is a bathroom. A surprisingly tidy bathroom. He doens't linger longer than needed, only noting the sand bag in the corner. One clue towards the house owner's identity: they have feathers. Having lived with Grian, Xisuma knows that only a bird would be satisfied with rolling in sand for ten minutes.

Clue number two: a feather sticking out of the bin.

So, when he goes into what is evidently a bedroom, he isn't phased by the mess against the backwall: a nest of blankets and clothes and gods know what else. There are tons of papers on the desk next to the door and he trips over a forgotten item on the floor that he didn't pay attention to and falls face first into the floor.

The door slams open behind him, the doorknob surely leaving an indent in the wall but that matters little. Xisuma barely has the time to react when the blade of a sword finds the nook in his armor, the edges helping the cold steel glide straight through his neck. It is very much a shock but Xisuma is moreso taken aback by the rudeness of it.

Well… He was rummaging through stuff that wasn't his… Still. Rude.

When he respawns -in the same bed, in the same room- he raises an eyebrow at the digital health stats that the projector on the underside of his wrist band is showing. Why are there nine hearts for him?

Part 1 (You are here!)

Part 2

[beaningeneraldenial]

First actual chapter is here! Time to introduce Clown's companion!

[beaningeneraldenial]

HEADCANON

The hermits don't have heart counts on hermitcraft. Of course, they get injured and sick and the like but their overall health isn't displayed in heart counts, so they have no idea why they have these moving tattoo hearts on their bodies now.

On Lifesteal, each heart represents a chance at life rather than overall health. Hearts are transfered when someone kills another person (from victim to criminal) but hearts are lost when the person dies of natural causes or by a something that didn't involve a person (e.g. TNT explosions). So they have limited respawns whereas in Hermitcraft, they have infinite.

[beaningeneraldenial]

First Contact is between Scar and Clown (HoTgUy and Jester)

AKA Scar makes an enemy on day 1

The hermits, upon entering the rift, are spit out in different parts of the city and left to fend for themselves.

Scar finds himself in the most peculiar of spots because of course he does. He ends up in an abandoned construction site, hanging off of an iron pole or the edge of the scaffolding (he can't tell from this position under the thing) and goodness did he not plan this far ahead.

Granted, none of them had planned ahead because there isn't anything to plan when you have no idea where you're headed. But this is just unnecessary.

He manages to get down at some point (it's difficult without his mechanical wings. At least he has his bow on him still– it's his whole brand!) and he stumbles around the site a bit bruised.

And then he stumbles upon a meeting of two people. There is an avian and a person wearing this weird, silly hat with horns and a mask he can only see the side of.

"Oh, people! Hello!", he exclaims, not hiding his excitement at the prospect of civilization.

The two strangers look him up and down, scrutinizingly. He notes that the avian's pair of wings are blue, yellow and another colour but it's a bit too dark to make it out. The one with the silly hat is taller than the other and Scar thinks they might be of the same height. The click of heels against the concrete floor clue him in on the fact that the "silly hat" guy is wearing heeled boots that add to his height quite a bit.

"Who are you?", the avian asks but Scar ignores him, instead locking on the other guy's outfit. It's jester-like and puffy with a corset but the mask is quite scary (with the toothy ear-to-ear and cross-slit eyes and all).

Scar, ever so oblivious to what "two shady guys conversing in an equally shady location" trope ends up in, decides that now is a good time to poke fun for conversation purposes.

"Oh! Are you a clown? Your outfit is very stylish! Could you tell a joke?", he says so fast that the two people in front of him are... confused, to say the least.

The clown is the first to snap out of their shared stupor.

"You're about to find out" he says in a low voice that would spook a normal person, pulling a serrated knife out of a hidden pocket of his outfit.

Scar, however, isn't a normal person. Barely any hermit could be considered normal, actually. The moment he sees danger, some inner instinct of his recognizes it (because if it were up to his consciousness, he'd be toast by now) and muscle memory pulls his HoTgUy bow from his back.

He doesn't need to aim because his body does it for him. Knock, pull, release.

His arrow finds the clown's skull and his body is pinned with surreal force on the wall behind him, right next to the avian.

They both stare as the body begins to dissipate in smoke and dust.

"OH NO, I KILLED A MAN", comes Scar's delayed reaction, followed by a very terrified screech of the avian.

"HOLY SHIT", the avian shouts in horror, wings flared and feathers ruffled. "Oh my God, I'm out!"

He leaves before Scar can apologize for the psychological trauma he just subjected an unsuspecting bystander (pffft).

Eh. He can make it up to them if he comes across them again.

Right now, he just needs to find Grian and Xisuma.

(He doesn't notice the added heart on his health bar, like he doesn't notice most things. Like the eyes that were peering at him from the dark corner over there)