#like I want to draw gore but am I gonna get banned

[doktorventure]

Can I post dismemberment on tumblr dot com asking for a friend

[pikaflute]

HAI if you have any more oddly specific headcanons u haven't shared about sam and slash or max i would love to hear them

OOOO yes :) ill do both teehee

sam

okay im gonna start with his family cause i wrote some headcanons for them yesterday. he has two sisters who are younger than him. he was really good at taking care of them when he was little because he had to take of a worse child (max) all the time. they tease their big bro about max btw. max joins in. worst fucking husband of the year. they're like 10 years younger than him. their names are sara and sadie. listen the s names are good.

his mom loves him so much. like sam's her little angel. she spoils him rotten when he comes home and max laughs about it and sam tells him to jump off a cliff.

his dad is just like him (autistic). he's a lawyer (user pikaflute always tries to squeeze in lawyers in every media like their life depends on it FUKKKK … why sam’s dad a lawyer all of da sudden) and he's the reason why sam wanted to be a detective. they watched noir films together when sam was young

back to general headcanons now: sam is a gamer. yeah, old pc point and clicks and puzzle games. and arcade games. he's probably secretly really good at newer games but he's rather just relax and take his time and solve shit.

not a morning person. at all. he will not leave the bed until like 10 am and will guzzle a pot of coffee. he just wants to stay in bed. i say let him!

likes to window shop. he will walk around new york with max and when he sees something he likes he will look into the store and will stay there until max has to pull him away.

he can bake. him mom and grandma taught him :). he has max taste his stuff and it just ends up with max eating like 10 cupcakes in like 10 minutes

has like all these figurines of things he knows nothing about. the geek asks him where he got that limited edition collectible miku and sam's like "oh she's just a cute one isn't she?" "sam they made like 100 of these how did you get her" "i found her!"

i'm giving him my greatest struggle: ibs. boys who go through tummy aches are our strongest warriors!

baseball lover. go mets!

max

i know most family headcanons for max give him siblings but. i want to be funny. he's an only child. like he is that kind of asshole (source i'm an only child)

he has two moms. yeah deal with it. lesbianism WIN.

as a kid the only person his moms would let him go play with was sam because max would actually be calm around sam and they wouldn't have to be on high alert for their kid biting someone's head off

he will make accounts to go on forums to argue with people about shit he knows nothing about and is 100% wrong on but will win the argument anyway. he truly has the heart of a poster. he's also banned from most forums and like twitter and facebook

i think he has a bunch of different things he picked up as a hobby. knitting, wood carving, poker (obviously), video games, drawing, pottery, solving puzzles (he sucks at those and asks sam for help), and many more. he can't keep his mind focused, he's gotta do it all!

speaking of video games, he plays violent ones. he likes the blood and gore. it's funny to him. he also plays fighting games online and is extremely toxic to everyone around him. he just like me fr.

he loves spicy food. like he will guzzle spice packets into his open mouth all the time. then he'll get a stomach ache from eating like 15 spicy packets from taco bell

hates hot weather. it makes his fur all puffy and static. he also hates the heat in general, make him irritable (more than usual)

i think he stims a lot. he moves around a lot doing stuff in the games but i think one day sam gets him a fidget toy and max is like oh my god. oh my god sam i could make love to you. and sams like. play with the toy instead jackass. and max does like all the time everyday forever.

hockey lover. go devils!

[dramarising-replacement]

1) i think staff ought to revisit the pg-13 rules, because a for a site that claims to be pg-16, fr sure is feeling very pg. wolvden is similarly pg-16 and actively has items that are bleeding animal carcasses. while i can understand not wanting realistic gore all over the site, blood/pain/suffering is all allowed under pg-13 with moderation, and id personally expect pg-16 to be even more lenient. idk i just feel like if they don't actually want to be pg-13/16 they should say so, because that's the expectation they're setting

2) they need to stop being so wishy-washy. it feels like they're trying to have their cake and eat it, too. if they don't like all the blood and guts, then they should hard ban any gore, violence, etc., change the site's rating, and rewrite/redesign plague entirely + throw out all the grandfathered skins. If they want to have the blood and guts, they should tell the anti-ror people "sorry, site's pg-16, lore+aesthetic was there since the beginning, don't like it, then go play a different game," including skin moderation staff if need be. the fact that they keep doing half-measures just makes both sides angry, and considering the salt gets bigger and bigger every year, it's probably time to capitulate one way or the other and draw a hard line.

3) small and unrelated gripe but the reason plague ≠ zombies is because fr's lore had to be ~special~ and ~not like other lore~. there's shades of this everywhere (tidelord lives in a freshwater lake, although it's still got colorful ocean coral, light = zombies, nature is secretly eeebil and trying to take over the whole planet) as it's a common amateur writing trait. iirc they literally wrote into the lore that plaguemom hates zombies, so really hardcore lore/plague lore people complain about zombie admissions so now you can't submit zombies. and then staff refuses to approve emperor skins and also only approves mushroom skins for plague despite mushrooms being shadow's thing and plague being about survival mutation adaptation so like idfk. 

4) hanlon's razor says to never assume malice where actions can instead be explained by ignorance. so im not gonna call staff's actions malicious. but i am gonna call them dumb.

[inkedtoast]

TF2 X Male reader || Chapter 1

Warning: Cursing, drinking, mentions of alcohol (and farther along in the series there will be gore)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She will wear you out livin la vida loca

Alright!

Livin la vida loca

She's livin la vida loca!”

My alarm startles me awake with the loud and overly catchy song that somehow lived past the early 2000’s. I roll over and unlock my phone to turn off the alarm, yawning widely. I stretch my arms, kick off my blanket, and then sit up. I stare out of my bedroom window- which is one out of three windows in my whole apartment- and contemplate if I really wanna go to work today. The reminder of my paycheck and slightly overdue bills tells me that yes I should, so I get up and pull on my work clothes. I pat down my hair and put on my favorite hat. Stuffing my bare essentials into my travel backpack, (water bottle, keys, phone and charger, earbuds and wallet, and some of my drawing supplies), the various fandom pins that litter the front of it click against each other. They clatter louder against each other as I zip up the front pocket and hoist the bag over my shoulders. I start walking to the front door, not bothering with breakfast, when I realize I forgot my glasses. Those are kiindaa important…

    I snatch them off of my nightstand and whisk out the front door and lock it. I jog to the bus stop, hoping I’m just in time. As I run to the bus stop, a couple dogs in someone’s yard start barking at me. I slow down a bit and wave to the dogs. They start leaping at the wire fence, making it creak and groan, trying to get a closer look- or smell, I guess. I start jogging again and get to the bus stop fairly quickly. I squat down next to the bus stop sign and breathe heavily.

    “I’ve been jogging to the bus stop everyday for like a month now, I should be used to this. Augh!”, I pant. I stand up and look down the road both ways. I look to the left and see the bus just turning onto the street. Ah, thank god… I think in relief. I grab my wallet out of my backpack and pull out the correct amount of bus fare. The bus is just a couple blocks away when I hear a shuffle, like someone misstepped on the concrete sidewalk behind me. I turn to look behind me and see that no one is there. Huh…. Okay.

The bus pulls up behind me then and the doors ssttttss open. I turn back to the bus and drop my money into the till. The little machine whirs next to the bus drivers seat as it counts my money and sticks out a ticket for me like a tongue. I grab it and take the farthest seat back as is possible. I’m gonna be here a while…. I pull out my phone and plug in my earbuds. I press play on my favorite playlist, close my eyes and lean my head back. I tap my hands and feet to the songs, and soon I’m doing mini air drums to the songs and doing air riffs. My arms get tired from the waving around and I calm down. About three songs after that, I feel like someone is watching me. I open my eyes and lean my head forward. I pull out an earbud and look at the rest of the bus. 

There's an old lady at the front of the bus with her nose in a Kindle and an older looking guy with a very interesting choice of polo shirt (it's bright green and some kinda golfing reference on it). And of course, the bus driver, Marty, who knows me as a regular. All of them are minding their own business, though. The guy with the green shirt notices me looking around and politely waves and smiles. I return the gesture and go back to my music, sinking down into my seat. Man, what is up with me? Guess I'm just feeling a little off today…

In record time (like an hour) the bus approaches my stop. I pull on the… stop cord thing and Marty waves at me.

"Have a good day, son!", He says as he smiles and opens the bus doors. I throw him some finger guns as I step backwards off of the bus.

"I'll do my best." He laughs and closes the doors as he drives away. I stand there for a second and sigh. Ah boy… work time. I turn face and walk a couple blocks to my place of work. The bright orange, yellow and purple sign announces the business for everyone within 200 feet to see. Big Red's Bar and Inn. The place where any self respecting drunk, bar hopper or cheater ends up. Anyone that comes to visit from another city always gets surprised about this bar. 

A lot of new people say "Oh wow this little city has a bar? Not just a bunch of liquor stores? Wow" or "Oh.. quaint". Yeah it's not glamorous, but we have what we need. TV's, food, pool and foosball tables, lotto machines…. We get by. Honestly, I got lucky with this job. It's basically strictly family owned and run, but one of the girls there knew me from highschool and talked with her mom who runs the place. The two of them tackle every problem that comes up in the bar really easily. Once, Jessica -the one who got me this job- pulled a shotgun out from the counter after one guy wouldn't leave this lady alone. He left really quickly after that. I've never had to hold that thing and I hope I never will. I don't like trusting myself with that kinda thing.

I walk up to the front doors and pull out the establishment keys and fumble for a second before jamming the key in and unlocking the doors. My job is pretty simple and not that glamorous. I open up, clean the place, wait on tables during working hours, keep up stocks and take out the garbage. Basically I'm an errand boy. But it's labor intensive so I get paid pretty well and I'm not complaining. I notice a few things are out of place. A couple of chairs are on the floor instead of the table, a bunch of bottles are missing from the shelf on the wall behind the bar and there's a broken tumbler glass on the counter. 

"I hope that doesn't get taken out of my paycheck,'' I mumble to myself. Maybe Jessica was having a rough night? I shrug and pick the glass up, sweeping the broken bits into the cup from the counter and go dump it into the glass receptacle. 

||hours later||

It's just after happy hour and I am exhausted. A group of college kids who just got in decided to celebrate and pretty much trash that bar… during happy hour. At least wait till after 8 you dipshits. Who drinks at 5pm? Fuckin' morons, that's who… I grump to myself. Jessica comes up to me with a tray of Coors beers. 

"Hey can you take these over? These guys are basically black holes for beer," She sighs. I frown. She seems really damn tired and down. 

"Can I put tequila in them to make 'em pass out, so we can cut them off and get 'em outta here?" I joke. She laughs.

"No, we cannot. We can get in trouble for that. On top of that, why waste good stuff on a bunch of kids?" Jessica pats my shoulder and walks into the back.

"Good point, good point," I nod to myself. I carry the tray of Coors over and place them on coasters. The group of guys cheer when I walk up with their drinks. One of them catches my attention.

"Hey, dude, that girl. She single or what?" The guy who asks looks like some jock right out of a 2008 high school movie. Black spiked hair, traces of acne, wiry but somehow muscular frame. Yeah, no, this guy's a douche. I shrug.

"I dunno. Not my business and not yours either, man." I place the last couple beers down and start walking away. Jock McDouche stands up and grabs my shoulder, making me drop the tray. It clatters to the ground as he stares me dead in the eye.

"What'd you say, punk?". Oh boy…. Here we go… I step away from him and try to defuse the situation. I don't need Red getting on my ass about causing a bar fight.

"Dude, don't try and hit on some girl. Mind your own business and let her do her job. She can kick you out and ban you faster than you can say 'Poughkeepsie'." All of these things are excellent points and a few of the other guys in the group side with me. Despite that, though, Jock McDouche pushes me.

"Why you being so defensive of her? She your girl or something?" 

"No, it's just none of your business. If she wanted it to be your business, you'd know." Right after that, Jessica turns up.

"Something wrong gentlemen?" She's got the bar shotgun on her hip, pointing it right at the crotch of the asshole who started this. His face bleaches and bullets of sweat start rolling down his forehead. He covers his junk with his hand, as though that will stop any bullets that get fired.

"N-no ma'am. Just fooling around, weren't we pal?" He looks at me. I raise an eyebrow. I wait a few seconds before answering just to make him squirm.

"Yeah. Definitely." I turn to Jessica and shake my head to let her know it's not worth it anymore. She uncocks the gun and walks away. I bend down to pick up the tray and walk back behind the counter to put it away. I start reorganizing glasses under the counter and stacking them by height and size due to boredom. I sit behind the counter for another ten minutes before Jock McDouche and his posse decide to pay and leave. As Jock pays for his share of the tab, he glares at me. I stare right back at him, letting him know literally I couldn’t give a shit. He scoffs at me and walks out once him and his buddies are done paying.

“Hey, could you go and take out the trash and recycling?”, Jessica says as she comes up behind me. I nod and set down the glass I was rolling in between my hands. I grab the full bags of garbage and recycling out by their drawstrings and tie them. Walking to the back door through the kitchen, I push it open with my back. As I finish struggling to open the huge dumpsters and dropping in the garbage, I hear a few steps behind me. I’ve heard of this being a signal that someone is trying to mug you. Wait isn’t that just in movies?.... I decide that it can happen in real life and grab a broken bottle and turn to chuck it at the person behind me when I feel a sharp pain in my neck. I raise my hand to my neck and feel something that is clearly a mini tranquilizer dart. I look up and see a female silhouette in a dress. I’m not sure but the outline of her dress is…. Purple?

“At least he tried to defend himself… Definitely gives him points..,” I hear her sigh. I feel woozy in seconds and feel my knees collapsing. I try to throw the bottle at her again and it sadly bounces off of her torso and breaks against the ground. I try to stand up, stumbling like I just finished drinking a whole 40 of tequila. The woman, whose face I can’t see, makes a surprised noise.

“You should be out already. Ah, well, that’s something important to note: needs higher dose of tranq,” She scribbles that down on a notebook as I look at her like she just grew three heads. She grabs my head by my hair and jerks it to the left and jabs the dart gun against my neck, shooting a dart deeply into my skin. I instantly feel 200% more tired and promptly start to give in to the heavy, potent drugs.

“Ahh fffuckk...,” are the last words I hear myself say before fall forward and pass out on the lady’s shoes.

[vrainsweek]

VRAINS WEEKS “LINK-14″ - Daily Prompts 2019

Hello again Minna-saaaaaaan!

How are yooou? Did you miss me? Did you miss the 2 weeks we were talking about Vrains and Vrains only? Yes I missed them, too. =D So I sat down and started thinking about the prompts for these year’s Vrains Weeks. But first a little information! As some of you remember I asked for another name for the Vrains Weeks because...”Vrains Weeks” sounds too normal and kinda boring even if any of you understand what they are. (I had a minute I wanted to call them Double Week but that was even worse.) So I asked around if you guys have an idea how to call them and actually... One person had the perfect idea! So first let me introduce to you the new name of the Vrains Weeks:

Link-14 (Weeks)

And I think it fits. 2 Weeks have 14 days and everyone in the Vrains fandom knows what you mean when you say “Link-”. My special thanks for this name go to @mythicalartisttm Thank you so so much, my brain never ever would have thought this way!

Thank you! Danke! ありがとう！ 

Before we start with the newest Vrains Prompts for 2019 let’s take a look at the rules again (So noone can say they didn’t read or find them!)

NO Bashing of ANY content! That means no BASHING or INSULTING over any Headcanons, Theories, Shippings, Works and and and.

NO NSFW. Sexual and / or Gore content or similar for some people in a fandom are exciting ofc but since I can’t control the age of this blog’s followers I have to keep this free for minors. Also I hope this will keep triggers away from some followers.

NO Copying, Stealing or Reposting of other people’s work! Not even with credits! This is unfair and really NOT a way to show YOUR content. Also you hurt the real artist with this and we don’t want and don’t need this. YouTube Videos musiclinks or similar for special topics for a day are excluded as long as credits such as the directlink are included. (Please contact me if someone reposted your art over the #vrainsweek or #VRLINK14 tag)

Don’t forget! If you break one of those rules you will be banned from VRAINS WEEKS! Also I want to inform you that every content is allowed as long as it doesn’t break the rules. Drawings, Cosplay, Theories, AUs, everything aslong as it fits with the topic!

About the tag you have to use to find your work you can use 2 tags now:

You can still stick with the #vrainsweek  from last year or use #VRLINK14 

I will look at both of them to check your guys’ works. Just don’t forget to tag! Ok, here we go! Ready for the 2019 prompts?

Monday (15th July 2019)

“Favorite Headcanon” To start the Link-14 weeks let’s begin with something easy. Show me your most favorite Headcanon you had so far after 2 years of Vrains. Draw something, describe it, whatever you like! It doesn’t matter if this headcanon is old or brand new just show us you always wanted to show all of us!

Tuesday (16th July 2019)

“Androids” Wouldn’t it be great if we see the Other Ignis as Andoids as well? Or even Yusaku and the others? I wonder how they survive in the real world? Do they eat like normal humans? Will they ever feel tired? How would the Ignis look like? Aaaah so many questions~

Wednesday (17th July 2019)

“Happy Hot Dog Day!” Of course the newest LINK-14 Week again is the same date as the National Hot Dog Day as well! And again you can do whatever you like aslong as it includes a Hot Dog (I am sorry if it sounds a bit NSFW But I DON’T MEAN IT THAT WAY ///)

Thursday (18th July 2019)

“Babies”

Last year we had a prompt which I wanted you to put our favorite characters into adults. This time let’s go back in time and show them as little kids and babies.

I think Vrains has too less of some past shots from when our favorites where small and cute, let’s change that!

Friday (19th July 2019)

“Memories”

Thinking of the past can be beautiful but also pretty cruel. We all know that everyone of us thinks of the past knowing that it made us what we are today. So do Yusaku and the others. They think of the past and appreciate every memory they have no matter if they are hurt- or beautiful.

Saturday (20th July 2019)

“Gaming Champs”

Ok ok so... I played some League of Legends a while ago and suddenly I thought: “How would Yusaku look like as a LoL champ?” I went too far and even thought about his skills but hey! Wouldn’t that be a great prompt as well? If you guys are actually gaming something why don’t you put Yusaku or Ryoken or whoever you like into a game? No matter if it’s an MMO or something like Super Mario or Sims 4 or whatever you like. Maybe...I will design Yusaku as a LoL champ as well *laughs*

Sunday (21st July 2019)

“Vacations” We all are soo thirsty for a beach episode but it looks like we never get it...sadly ... *cries* BUT That’s why the LINK-14 Week is here for so let’s get the boys and girls into some sweet vacations! They really REALLY need a break! It doesn’t have to be the sea, send them wherever you want them to be. Another place, another country, wherever you like!

Monday (22nd July 2019)

“What if?” What if Ryoken / Revolver never was able to save the children from the Lost incident?

Tuesday (23rd July 2019)

“Share some music”

Music is my way to happiness I always say. What are the songs you relate the most to when you think of Vrains? It can be anything, songs to some AUs or to a special character or shipping or a scene you liked the most.

You can share Spotify playlists or YouTube Links or just the title and singers of the songs (Please don’t upload music files).

If you want you can use this prompt as well to show some relating from Vrains characters to music (For example Hanois as a band)

Wednesday (24th July 2019)

“Me when I watch VRAINS”

I am curious and maybe this prompt is a bit stupid but Vrains and the LINK-14 week only works with the people who actually watch Vrains. And I want to give you a “stage” cause you matter a lot! What do you look like when you watch VRAINS? (Describe it or draw it or even take a photo of it haha)

Thursday (25th July 2019)

“VRAINS goes Hollywood” So I have two tasks and whatever you like more is what you gonna do: Drawers: Redraw a movie cover / movie poster from whatever movie with Vrains characters. Writers: Take a scene of a movie you love and rewrite that scene with Vrains characters. Those movies can be anything (Disney, Marvel, Ghibli or other Animes, Romance movies or Hunger Games stuff) as long as they still fit with the LINK-14 Rules.

Friday (26th July 2019)

“VRAINS Manga”

I don’t know how long we will wait till we finally get a VRAINS Manga But we all have a lot of imaginations of how it will be. So share!

Saturday (27th July 2019)

“Happy Birthday!”

Imagine it’s Yusaku’s birthday. No other comments needed just be creative ;D

Sunday (28th July 2019)

“???” This day will be a surprise. Just wait till 28th July to see what’s up.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER!! DON’T FORGET TO TAG YOUR POSTS WITH #vrainsweek or #VRLINK14!!!!!!

See ya in July Minna-san!!

Choco

Note: I got the render pic of Yusaku for the header from here: LINK ME

[mariocki]

I'm really, really pissed about the news about Tumblr, and I say this as a tiny, insignificant blog, with like one or two mutuals I interact with, and as someone who pretty much never posts nsfw, maybe the odd film still with some nudity or whatever. But I'm so mad, and I don't really have the brain-strength to express it, but one of my main uses for this garbage site is to vomit words and then reflect on them so here goes.

I get the thing about porn bots and child abuse, obviously, I'm not a monster. But how does punishing sex workers, and artists, and therapists and thinkers and fucking, the chronic pain tag??? What?? And no mention anywhere of dealing with the actual nazis and suicide baiters and abusers? And a female nipple - sorry, a female presenting nipple - is now evil? Is now inherently sexual? Is forbidden?

And like. Where are they drawing that line. I've seen no mention of violence, or images of gore. I watch a lot of horror films, I follow a lot of horror film blogs - are they allowed? Is a dismembered body more justifiable than a nude one? Is sex the greatest evil humanity faces, but gee yeah, cut each other up, we don't give a fuck? And then, again, where do we draw lines on sex and nudity? If I post Courbet's The Origin of the World, is that gonna get me banned? Or Goya, or Schiele? What about photographers? I'm thinking Man Ray could conceivably slip through the cracks, but Mapplethorpe, well, that's right out the window. When you boil it down, how the fuck are you going to start defining what counts as art and what counts as porn, when there has already been a couple of centuries of debate about how that very issue is one of subjectivity?

If someone writes... I don't know, a violent, racist, misogynistic fantasy post, a really messed up, hateful piece of 'fiction', or at least masquerading as it, is that fine? Because it's text? No rude images? Is that post more deserving of a platform than somebody who wants to, I don't know, show off their nipple piercing? Or draw some kinky art? Or God forbid, try and sell sexy videos?

And like. We know this, we absolutely know, this will punish lgbtqia ppl first and foremost. We know it because it happened before, on a smaller scale. And again, no word on the nazis.

And this is gonna tank this site, whether you're for or against it. There will be a monumental loss of traffic. The site will be changed, it may continue to exist, it may not, but it will not be the same. And I get the other part of the argument too, that yknow, its just social media or whatever, its not the end of the world. But fuck that and fuck you. I live in a tiny, backwoods, Conservative village. I have pretty much zero irl queer friends. I do not, and cannot, express myself elsewhere with the same confidence and freedom as I felt I could here. And there are people, a Lot of people, for whom that is a million times worse, people in real danger, people whose lifelines are the communities they have built here.

Anyway. I don't know what else to say. I'm really fucking angry about this, and I don't see the point in migrating, and I don't really have another social media platform, besides fb, but I am not myself on fb. And I'm not deleting, I'll hang on until this shithouse inevitably drives itself over a canyon and implodes like the broken wreck it is, and god I hope some people higher up lose a lot of money. I don't know how to tag this. We presumably won't need tags soon. But ask to tag and I will.

[otomeshistarlight-blog]

Rant incoming

I was scrolling through the JoJo tag when I saw this post and I just ... I’m really tired y’all.

First of all, according to a google search it looks like the age of consent in Italy is 14 (if I’m wrong, please correct me) so Narancia is very legal, as is Giorno. America’s laws are not universal. The world is not so UScentric that whatever we as a country deem inappropriate is likewise considered to be inappropriate in other countries. There are varying standards throughout different societies and one is not necessarily more correct than the next. Whether or not I think real life fourteen year olds should be having sex is irrelevant- because even if I don’t agree with it, it’s gonna happen anyway - but Narancia is not a real fourteen year old so whatever the law dictates in America OR Italy is irrelevant.

What this boils down to is that there is no victim here. Narancia cannot be taken advantage of. Narancia cannot be sexually assaulted and face the physical/emotional consequences of such trauma. There is nothing inherently wrong with shipping him in ANY pairing, regardless of the ages involved. If I want to write about him getting wrecked by Bruno I will damn well do it because not a single person is being hurt by me doing so. If this is something that triggers you and causes you distress then don’t 👏🏻 fucking 👏🏻 look 👏🏻 at 👏🏻 it. 👏🏻

Fighting for the rights of fictional characters solves nothing. It helps no one. It doesn’t benefit real victims and it sure as hell does not stop real people from being victimized in the first place. This is a nonissue that people are taking up arms over for no reason other than a perceived moral superiority that makes them feel more in control of the world around them. It stems from feeling helpless and lost in a society that doesn’t bend to their every whim. Fandom space is the only place they feel like they have any power so they take on the role of morality police, try to dictate what people can and cannot like, and then accuse anyone who won’t do what they say of heinous crimes. It’s extremely toxic and harmful, not to mention it lessens the severity of sincere pedophile/abuse finger pointing so the chances of a real predator getting away with it are greatly heightened, and I’m just done with it at this point.

Let’s say I’m looking through the porn tags as I am won’t to do and I come across a post that features blatant child porn. Real child porn. The 3D kind that, yknow, actually features real children being exploited and assaulted for realsies. I’m understandably appalled so I file a report with tumblr and they don’t even look at it because they’ve been bombarded for the last year with false harm to minors reports and the user is never penalized for actually doing something inherently wrong and immoral. Y’all have heard about the girl who cried wolf right? Like, y’all know how that story ends don’t you?

But no. Instead of directing your efforts towards anything worthwhile, you’re going to keep going after shippers. And for what? Because oh no, the fictional seventeen year old who could just as likely be nineteen is being paired with a fictional twenty-five year old. The horror. What is the world coming to? Think of the children!

Except ... these supposed children don’t exist. How can you victimize a piece of paper? The same argument applies to loli/shotacon too mind you, and there is no crime in looking at drawings regardless of their perceived age, especially when the topic is anime where you can have a character who looks like a five year old girl and she is in fact a 400 year old vampire. Like?? There is absolutely no logic you can apply to this that has any internal consistency let alone actually makes sense.

Me: these fictional minors don’t even look like sixteen year olds, where have you seen a real teenager who looks like this?

Antis: they look like teens you pedo!! And ageing them up is still pedophilia because they are canonly sixteen so you’re still thinking about teenagers in a roundabout, highly contrived way

Me: *shows you a 300 year old loli vampire* okay so I can definitely fuck this one right? She’s unrealistically old!

Antis: no!!!! You’re just using her canon age as an excuse to be a freak who preys on children! She might be 300 years old but she still has the body of a child!!

Me: okay so I’ll just age myself down to self ship, no biggie.

Antis: absolutely not!! You’re still an adult and ageing yourself down doesn’t make it okay!! I’m reporting you to the authorities right now!

Me: but ... who am I supposed to imagine fucking then?

Antis: one of the few adults you find in anime, except this one because he’s an abuser, or this one because he tortured a little girl and not the serial killer either because wow problematic

Me: so what you’re telling me ... is that I’m only allowed to thirst after your preapproved, precious cinnamon roll faves even though my tastes or needs in a relationship might vary greatly from yours?

Antis: yes, exactly. I’m so glad you’re finally on my level of intelligence and moral superiority. : ^)

Me: oh, I see now. So what this boils down to is that you just don’t want people to enjoy something you don’t personally agree with. Got it.

Antis: absolutely not!! I’m thinking about the betterment of society by telling you what you can and cannot enjoy! You liking these questionable things is harmful against the greater good! Won’t you think of the children!?

Me: soooooo we’re just gonna ignore how much that sounds like a fascist/communist society or ...?

Antis: : ^)

Y’all should absolutely read 1984. It would do you some good. Because having an attraction to a fucking anime character is not a slippery slope, but this puritanical shit? It sure as hell is.

Let me pose this query: what is stopping an anti from going on a book burning campaign or fighting to get certain books banned? Lolita? Flowers in the Attic? All of the works by Marquis de Sade (a personal hero of mine)? Alternatively who are the only people who actually engage in book burning/banning?

Overzealous religious nuts. Everything about the anti movement is the same “our children shouldn’t be exposed to such filth” battle cry that religious sects - specifically the western ones - have screamed for decades now except with a cute little sjw hat on top. No rock n’ roll music. It’s Satan’s music. No porn. It’s tainting America’s youth. No alcohol. It’s leading our country down the path of sin. No violent video games or movies. They’re turning people into mass shooters. No problematic themes in fictional works because it’s turning people into pedophiles/abusers.

And that is just ... factually incorrect. There is absolutely no correlation between Lolita being published and an uptick in children being sexually assaulted. There is no correlation between lolicon or shotacon breeding more pedophiles. Because that’s literally not how it works. Period. I’m not going to accidentally stumble on a loli doujin and think “huh yknow what? This sounds fun!” I could even read loli doujins at length and that’s still not going to convince me that actually engaging in sexual situations with toddlers is okay. Like ... I don’t know why these people think we’re so stupid that we don’t know the difference between right and wrong but this is just insane. The only people who look at loli or shota and then go on to commit crimes against real children are the ones who were already having those kinds of thoughts in the first place. The only people who play Grand Theft Auto and then go shoot up a church are the ones who were already having violent thoughts to begin with. These thoughts are not magically implanted into our brains regardless of what media we consume and that’s just a goddamn fact.

Yes, media impacts reality but not the way you think it does. Even all those sources antis link to about the supposed correlation between the two are twisted to meet their own rhetoric. It’s called marketing and anyone with half a brain cell knows that it exists. It’s meant to encourage us into thinking we need some product so we spend money on junk and keep capitalism going strong. it works more often than not. However no amount of marketing is going to convince a mentally sound person that shooting up a mall is a valid life choice to make. It just doesn’t work like that and you could scream until your blue in the face that fucking kids is the bees knees and I still wouldn’t touch a real child because that’s gross. Period. And since I can’t touch Bakugou Katsuki or Narancia because they’re just figments of someone’s imagination and pen and paper ... then where lies the problem?? What is the issue with writing or drawing fictional characters, regardless of age or moral compass, in sexual situations?

I’m a CSA survivor that has been on the internet for a LONG time. I’ve seen some shit I sorely wish I could forget. Everything from real life gore, real life death, bestiality, necrophilia and yes even real life child porn. I don’t think there’s a single problematic thing I haven’t accidentally stumbled on and it’s horrific. It’s disgusting. I know all too well how awful these things are and I know even better how it feels to be a victim of rape and sexual assault and pedophilia and grooming. Like. That was my life growing up. I know what these things look like and I can assure you without a shadow of a doubt that whatever is going on in fandom space isn’t even comparable. Please. Draw your OC fucking a dragon mascot character instead of fucking a real animal. Please write about a fictional father fucking his fictional son instead of fucking a real child or a real sibling. Do whatever you want with your imagination - and I do mean WHATEVER. If you want to think about eating your favorite characters shit then by all means. Enjoy. It doesn’t effect reality in any way besides maybe giving someone a cathartic coping outlet and there’s nothing wrong with it.

There’s nothing wrong with ANY topic being explored in fiction.

The only problem is when someone commits a crime in reality. When someone hurts another living being. And consuming this so called problematic fiction does not lead someone to real life crimes. Period.

Finding myself on that stupid gore site when I was 14, BestGore I think it’s called? Did not make me want to try killing someone. I’ve never even seriously contemplated doing it because death is awful in every regard, I wouldn’t seriously wish that on anyone let alone convince myself that it’s okay. But according to antis me being exposed to that sort of content means I’m more likely to go out and commit murder?

Literally what crack are you smoking?

Get the fuck out of here and do something worthwhile with your time if you honestly find these topics so disturbing. If not then shut up, sit down and let people enjoy their fandom experience however they see fit. Because this right here? This treating fictional characters like they matter, like they’re real people? It’s not fucking cute. And as someone who was raped from the time I was eleven until I was eighteen by a family member I can safely say that you aren’t doing shit to help anyone with this holier than thou, I know better than you crusade.

And that is the goddamn truth whether you like it or not.

[verdigrisprowl]

June 18 Dancitron Movie Night - Alien Resurrection

Both Tarantulas and Soundwave were there, so Prowl spent the whole movie night nervous that one of them was going to Say Something and startling every time he was touched. But he still managed to have an interesting discussion about what efforts ought to be taken to save endangered persons with a low probability of survival. (Prowl’s answer: barring extenuating circumstances, all efforts. Soundwave’s answer: maybe a lot of effort, but like, not if they’ve got a really low chance of survival, and/or their death would be particularly unpleasant.)

Thus far, even though they’ve now both got permission to talk about their relationships with Prowl, it seems like both Tarantulas and Soundwave are content to continue keeping it secret. That suits Prowl just fine.

Today Swoop ((I wasn't gonna come but then I saw what was up tonight and yes, we're gonna 90s this shit up)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((yooooooo!)) Swoop ((how you been?)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((pretty good! unpacking, drawing, settling in, etc)) Swoop ((that middle one sounds nice!)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((i'll show you some later!)) Swoop ((please do!)) VProwl *appears* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave settles in for the night, more than ready to see this supposed fourth film.* Swoop *full on goofy ptero-scampers in* Prowl *arrives just after Swoop* Swoop Bird? :V VProwl *the room's filling up earlier than usual. disappointing.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Having spotted Prowl - and listened to his great big philosophical set of reasons for morals and saving people - Soundwave is just about ready to get up and scoop Prowl into one hell of an embrace. Maybe with some nibbles.*

*...Unfortunately, just as he stands up, two more mechs appear, which means it looks like he rose to greet them all. Soundwave just sort of awkwardly nods at everyone before sitting down on the couch, mildly revved up and with no outlet. And it'll probably get worse. Interesting night.* Swoop *scampers around, jumping on the occasional table in his pursuit of Bird* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Bird is - er. Laserbeak is... sulking. She's had some displeasing news.]] Prowl *it's ok, Soundwave, Prowl didn't see him move* ItsyBitsySpyers ((LMAO)) Swoop :V ??? VProwl *sits in his usual spot. with a little more space than usual.* Swoop What news??? *literally could not care less about the news* *just wants to BIrd* Tarantulas (( we forgive you for not themeing the music, cro (( WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS Smokescreen /Smokescreen's coming in to eggs. Yep! This is the right place!/ ItsyBitsySpyers ((alien movie! eggs)) Smokescreen Hey Eggwave! ItsyBitsySpyers *Immeeeeediately notices.*

@P: [[...Has he done something wrong?]]

[[Ah. Nothing you need concern yourself with at the moment.]] Smokescreen Soundegg! ItsyBitsySpyers @SP: [[Tonight will be Alien: Resurrection.]] Swoop Me Swoop want to Bird : < Us not hang out in foreeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Prowl @SW: Thank you. Smokescreen /Wait, wait, Swoop's here? He's waving at Swoop, before sitting down in his usual spot near Round Prowl!/ ItsyBitsySpyers [[He is certain she will want to be here next week. There will be an Earth rodent with an appreciation of food only she can parallel.]] Prowl *will check to see if there's any audio description available while everyone else gets settled in* ItsyBitsySpyers ((FIFTEEN MINUTES grab your drinks and food and all that)) Smokescreen Wait, are we watching Ratatoing next week? Prowl You're showing a movie about Earth food next week? ItsyBitsySpyers [[What? No. No. It is a movie about a spider. And a pig. But the movie is not named for the pig.]] Swoop *flops with EVERY BIT OF DRAMA he has in his thin body, splaying his wings and legs out like the distraught rug that he is* Smokescreen OHHH oohh I know that one! Based on a book, right? Swoop *look how upset he is* Smokescreen ... Hey Swoop, want a cake? Swoop *everyone needs to appreciate how much he wants to see Bird RIGHT NOW* Prowl Ah. Swoop ... Her Bird like cake Smokescreen ... Maybe if I give you cake, bird will come? /He's offering a cake to Swoop!/ Smokescreen /Fresh from his subspace./ ItsyBitsySpyers [[Oh, no. He can guarantee you that she will not come down tonight. But she will eat the cake when everyone is gone.]] Swoop *transforms so he can hold the cake* *takes it and just holds it* Smokescreen ... It's okay for you to eat that cake if you want! Tarantulas *will tarantulas arriving help with swoop's mood a little too? let's see. in comes the spidermech, it's been a while* VProwl *he was so tense he missed the question* @S «What? No. Why?» *oh, and now Tarantulas is here, and Prowl's even more tense.* Swoop *digs his claws in a little bit and grins* Cake pretty weak thing. Look. *he holds it up and scratches the side* It in ..... tiers! Kehehhehehehh Smokescreen /Is about to wave excitedly at Messy, but stops himself- maybe Messy wants to stick with Prowl tonight?/ ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave taps the space between himself and Prowl and glances over at him. That's wh-- oh. Okay, he'll just make room for Tarantulas. Maybe that's why there's space.* *Soundwave huffs at the tiers joke.* [[Not bad, Swoop.]] VProwl ((cro why are you torturing us)) Tarantulas (( srsly ItsyBitsySpyers ((to prepare you for the real horror ahead)) Smokescreen //this is like dinner and 2 shows Swoop *perks up and then preens at the compliment* *still has cake hands* Smokescreen ... /He's going to offer Swoop another cake, this time a different flavor. Maybe he's picky!/ Swoop *takes whatever is offered to him but doesn't do anything with it* Smokescreen ... Are you feeling okay, Swoop? If you like a different flavor, just let me know! Tarantulas *yup, smokey's right, tara's a little focused on vprowl, gonna settle right in with him as soon as possible. how much semi-subtle touching can he get away with, hm?* Swoop Me Swoop am FEELING *squishes some cake between his fingers* good! *absolute shiteating grin* Tarantulas *...narrowed visor at soundwave. why this* Why hello to you too, Soundwave. Smokescreen ... I'm glad! You should eat cake with your mouth, though. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Greetings. It has been a while.]]

*Places a smiley on his screen. Just saying hello, dear spide.*

[[Please. Do not squash cake everywhere. We have enough to clean after weekends.]] Prowl ...is this meant to be a lesson in futility? Swoop *looks back and forth between Smokescreen and Soundwave* Smokescreen I think it's like, a reference to this ancient greek myth humans have about this guy who has to roll this ball up a hill every day, and start over again! Probably! ItsyBitsySpyers [[That depends. Have you lost all hope?]] Swoop *isn't totally clear on what the consensus is here* *just wants to give cake to Bird* ........ *wipes his hand off on his chest, problem solved* Prowl What purpose did rolling the ball up the hill serve? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Put the cake on the bar and go clean your hands in the si--...... Fine.]] Smokescreen I'm not really sure! Maybe doing it, like, kept the Earth moving or something? That's what a lot of those early myths are like. Like, I think this one guy got like, executed for giving everyone fire and opening this box of misfortune. Prowl ((OMG CRO ((BANNED ItsyBitsySpyers ((I AIN'T SORRY BOUT NOTHIN)) Tarantulas (( o m f g Swoop ((jesus christ XDD)) Prowl ((YOU SHOULD BE SORRY Smokescreen ((cro is a treasure Swoop *has no idea what's going on, focused instead on putting the two pieces of cake from Smokescreen on top of each other for maximum cake* ItsyBitsySpyers ((all right that's enough of that)) Prowl Hm. ItsyBitsySpyers ((we're just waiting for one person to get back and then we'll start)) Swoop Soundwave! *holds up the double cake* Where can cake for Her BIRD? ItsyBitsySpyers [[On the bar, where he told you. She will not come down today, which he also told you.]] Swoop :< Smokescreen /He's going to quietly ping Messy before he goes over to the bar to try to help himself./ ItsyBitsySpyers ((WARNINGS: OKAY. This is basically the completely incorrectly done Alien movie that should've had the tagline A Squick For Every Moviegoer. It has all the pointless edge that late 90s/early 00s movies loved. If you already can't stand a regular Alien movie, you'll probably want to sit this one out. More specific warnings more or less in order with some throughout: Weird organic tissue intro, visible surgery with internal contents, flashing lights (really bad after the flamethrower incident and in the water and one other time I forget), frankly unnecessary blood and gore/violence/death, incidents of ableism and/or dehumanizing talk, sexist or misogynist talk, incidents of mostly-nudity, foul language, body horror, hypodermic-like imagery, weird alien pregnancy, grotesque final alien scene, super shaky camera.)) Swoop *goes and puts the cake on the bar, wiping his hands off on himself one last time for good measure* VProwl *tarantulas can get away with semi-subtle touching only up to the point where it's firm enough that Prowl can feel it. at which point he startles almost out of his seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[The SINK, Swoop.]] Swoop Sink? *cocks his head, why would you put cake in the sink....?* OH! For -- *he holds up his hands* Smokescreen ... /Trying to sneak a bite of the bar cake now while he's here!/ ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[...Before we begin. He promised that he would be careful not to show anything with... that, for two weeks. He does not know if you remember that the xenomorph organics tend to puncture skulls with their inner jaws as a fatal blow. Will this trouble you, or should he proceed as planned?]] VProwl @S «Oh—that's fine. Head trauma is fine.» *were they reading the brains they ate? no. ... probably. ... no. they definitely weren't.* ItsyBitsySpyers ((rabbit can you PLEASE not have five thousand pop-ups)) Swoop *actually uses the sink like a person who has been indoors before, everyone thank Ratchet for making this great day possible* ItsyBitsySpyers *Nods and commands the projector to start playing. Leaves the smiley on his visor.* Swoop *scampers over to the seats before immediately stopping, unsure of what to do with himself* Tarantulas *nope, touching is definitely heavy enough to be felt. when prowl startles, tarantulas startles right back* Prowl? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...This is the most disgusting introduction.]] VProwl *pings alternate, video feed* What? What. Nothing. Smokescreen ... Is it really that bad? It just looked slimy. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Same thing, most times.]] Swoop *stands still - legs shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent - and looks at the space in front of him, waiting for something to prompt him* Smokescreen You're not a fan of Slime, Slimewave? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Swoop. Take a seat.]] Swoop *plops down exactly where he was standing* Tarantulas May I...? *clearly ready to cuddle prowl again* *also pings smokey back* Swoop *scoots on his butt closer to everyone else* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Precious.]] Smokescreen /This time sends two pings back!/ Smokescreen Is that how humans- you know- Swoop *scoot scoot* Tarantulas *three pings to smokey then* Smokescreen /this time, he does 5! 3 + 2!/ Smokescreen ((DANGIT i had a drink for this and this fly just comes swooping in to get in my drink 😧 )) ItsyBitsySpyers ((BAD FLY)) VProwl *tries to look at Tarantulas without looking away from the screen, so his alternate can keep watching.* ... What? Smokescreen ((drunk fly now)) ItsyBitsySpyers *Nudges Tarantulas.* [[Number eight.]] Swoop *finally is close enough to someone or something to rest his helm on it and watch the screen* ZAP Tarantulas Eight? Swoop Why Them zap face? ItsyBitsySpyers [[To make her let the doctor go.]] Swoop WHy Smokescreen That human sounded kinda like Ratchet vaguely for a klik! ItsyBitsySpyers [[So he would not die.]] Swoop Why ItsyBitsySpyers [[He does not know.]] *Perks. Majesty?* Tarantulas *ahh, eight, he sees* Blaster -what did he walk in on?- Swoop It wet Blaster Oh....wow ItsyBitsySpyers *Tiny vent. What fabulous design.* Tarantulas *to prowl* May I touch? ItsyBitsySpyers *He wonders how much battering damage the crest can take in battle.* Swoop *slooowly slides down to lay on the floor on his belly* *wings ouuuuuuutttt* *watch your feet* VProwl ... Sure. Yes. ItsyBitsySpyers ((fun fact: in a deleted scene they say walmart bought weyland yutani out)) Smokescreen ... How much do you bet they're all gonna go offline again? VProwl ((omg)) Smokescreen ((canon Swoop ((oh man I forgot about that, too good)) Blaster -well, he's in the room now, and kinda curious about this- ItsyBitsySpyers [[...."Urban pacification".]] [[So they mean to loose the organics on citizens who do not--]] *HUFF* [[Tame them. How amusing.]] [[On citizens who do not comply, likely for good reason.]] Blaster ....this isn't going to end well, is it? Prowl Ugh. Smokescreen Man- I kinda hope they all get their just desserts with those kinda ideas Swoop *IMMEDIATELY FLAILS WITH EXCITEMENT and spins around to sit on his heels with a gigantic grin* THAT! THAT! Tarantulas *promptly slips his hand in prowl's and wraps half of his arms around him, settling in* Swoop YOU SEE, you see FALLEN KINGDOM trailer???? : > VProwl *TENSENESS INTENSIFIES* Swoop *bounces* You Soundwave see? It THAT! *points* What You said! ItsyBitsySpyers [[What?]] Swoop NEW Jurassic World movie!!!!!! Me Swoop want to see! Us DINOBOTS want to SEE! Blaster -he's gonna sit somewhere out of the way of the flailing- ItsyBitsySpyers [[Another one? If the twins have their way, you will. Eventually.]] [[Greetings, Blaster.]] Swoop *hops and chirps* Blaster Ah. Hello, Soundwave. Tarantulas *omg prowl relax, this isn't much more touching than usual is it* Swoop Jurassic World! Jurassic World! Jurassic World! VProwl *it's different now* Tarantulas *...fair* Swoop *keeps bouncing around and chirping about Jurassic World, it's going to take a lot to stop him* ItsyBitsySpyers *What about a feeler wrapped around his mouth.* Swoop *immediately starts to CHOMP but has enough of his birdy brain about him not to go through with it (completely)* Smokescreen /Smokescreen's wincing at the feeler coming out. Ew ew ew./ Blaster -WELL then, that's one way to silence a Dinobot- Wait.... ItsyBitsySpyers *C a r e f u l l y extricates his feeler from Swoop's mouth. Ugh.* Blaster Are those other humans? ItsyBitsySpyers [[They are.]] [[Welcome to government military projects.]] Blaster Wait Tarantulas *snorts at the "project"* Blaster No Swoop *bleehh* *one slobbery feeler for soundwave* Smokescreen I wanna play that game! Blaster They purposefully... ItsyBitsySpyers *Huffing at her mocking him. She continues to be a favorite human, even as a partially inhuman clone.* Swoop KAH! Her hit! ItsyBitsySpyers [[And yes, they did.]] [[The creatures require external hosts for part of the process.]] Blaster ....yikes Smokescreen I wanna DO that kinda move! Swoop *hasn't been paying much attention but he perks up when he hears that whistle, he knows that "get over here" whistle* Prowl It's not that difficult. ItsyBitsySpyers ((fun fact 2: sigourney actually performed that shot herself)) Tarantulas Corrosive...? Hm. Smokescreen I guess! But it looks cool! ... what's with the feet thing don't like that Blaster Was her blood eating through the metal? ItsyBitsySpyers [[It was.]] VProwl ((how many tries did it take her)) Swoop *pays the tiniest bit more attention since he knows that condescending noise* Smokescreen ((can you imagine the bloopers Swoop *probably everyone with a beastmode does tbh* Blaster Either that's really weak metal, or her blood isn't human ItsyBitsySpyers ((i believe they gave her six total to try it in herself and she hit it on the last one)) ((the crew burst into immediate applause, which is why there was a cut right there)) Swoop ((Yeah I want to say I remember them saying they were going to fake it but she went for it one last time and BOOM)) *pats at the nearest person to him* What happen? In movie. ItsyBitsySpyers *Look at them. Look at them sleeping curled up.* Tarantulas (( wHAT ItsyBitsySpyers [[Hah.]] Swoop *pat pat pat* Prowl *congrats, it's Prowl, who pulls out of Swoop's reach quickly* They cloned the Ripley human from the other documentaries in order to extract the alien from her. She appears to be more than human. ItsyBitsySpyers *Has an idea or two why.* Prowl And the military started a breeding program. Foolishly. Swoop *has no idea what any of that means but scoots closer to Prowl, still sitting on the floor* Why them in room? With button. Prowl To torture the alien into listening to them. They think it can be trained. Smokescreen I think the lesson is that all militaries are fragged. Swoop Why listen? :s Tarantulas *internal screm at "baby"* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Trained to hate them, perhaps. As it should. Keeping perfection locked away - hmph.]] Swoop *leans on Prowl's leg* Blaster .............. Prowl *pulls leg away* Don't do that. Swoop Do what Prowl Don't touch me. You can sit where you are. Swoop Why ItsyBitsySpyers [[Ah... so that transferred, too.]] Prowl Because I asked you not to. Swoop Why Blaster -what's wrong with lab-grown- Prowl *sighs* Because. That is the only answer I need to give you. Swoop ............. *reaches out and touches the very tip of Prowl's ped with the very very tip of his claw* Smokescreen Swoop, bad. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Swoop, do not touch the other guests if they have told you not to touch them.]] Prowl *pulls away* Stop. Smokescreen If you keep touching, Bird won't come out for sure. ItsyBitsySpyers *Pings Prowl. Did you see that shot.* Swoop Him Soundwave say no Bird AT ALL tonight VProwl *STARTS* @S «What?» Smokescreen But Bird especially won't show up if you keep touching Prowl. Swoop Why Smokescreen because ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[The human performed an excellent ricochet shot to shoot the one behind him.]] Swoop Keheh! Because WHY Blaster .............. VProwl @S «Oh. Yes. I saw.» ItsyBitsySpyers [[A noble sacrifice.]] Blaster -slowly hides face- Smokescreen Because because! Keep your servos off of Prowl or else- uhh- you'll get grounded. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Because you have been ordered not to touch them, and if you disobey, he will bridge you home. Again.]] [[And you will not see any of the fighting.]] Swoop *fluffs up his armor and flairs his wings at Smokescreen's very poorly worded threat* Smokescreen Yeah, that too. You'll miss all the good bits! Prowl *scoffs* ItsyBitsySpyers [[So clever.]] Swoop You Smokescreen not STRONG enough to GROUND Me Swoop! Blaster Yikes Smokescreen I mean- Sounds is the one that'll ground you. I'm just saying that it'll happen! Just don't touch Prowl and there won't be any problems! I'll even give you a snack. Swoop NO ONE ground Me Swoop! *flaps his wings once at Smokescreen for emphasis* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He will.]] Smokescreen ... Not that kinda ground. Ground like- no fun stuff ever. Swoop *vents RATHER warm air* ItsyBitsySpyers *Trying to hide that he's shaking. Clever AND opportunistic.* *If unfortunate.* ((this is so goddamn unnecessary)) Swoop *leans in towards Smokescreen, wings still flared* Try! Prowl *Prowl's going to move to another seat away from Swoop before she considers putting Swoop in stasis cuffs* Blaster -STILL covering face- -he doesn't like this movie- Swoop ((While there is a lot to criticize in this movie, I gotta say that I love the set design. There is something about this ship that is charming to me. Just matches the douchey atmosphere lol)) *would absolutely flip shit if someone put cuffs on him* Smokescreen /Smokescreen's pushing Swoop's face away/ Come on, Swoop! You made Prowl move. Be good. Prowl ((it's a good design, creepy and efficient Swoop *locks his joints and digs his toes into the flooring so that Smokescreen's attempts are completely ineffective at moving him an inch* Me Swoop NOT good. Me DINOBOT. Smokescreen ... /In that case, he's pulling his servo away, and then turning on the phase shifter, reaching to just put a servo in Swoop's arm, if possible./ Be a Dinobot that acts good, then! Blaster -uncovers face- ....what just...actually no, I don't wanna know ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave leans forward to look around Tarantulas and bobs his helm at Prowl.*

[[Surely with all the organics that Cybertronians of your world encountered, you've run into situations similar to these? Or run calculations on potential scenarios.]] Swoop *goes from looming to owlishly blinking in cartoon curiosity in an instant* What THAT? 😮 VProwl Define "similar to these." Smokescreen What? This? /He's pulling his servo away again/ This is my arm! Swoop ((this movie is so gay)) You a ghost! 😮 ItsyBitsySpyers [[Beings capable of at least picking off Cybertronians, if not outright slaughtering them, breaking into or infesting a base.]] Smokescreen I am! You got me! Tarantulas *curious about sw's question* Swoop Cool! *plops back with his legs kicked out in front of him, full toddler style* VProwl Yes. We commonly called them "soldiers." ... Because they were soldiers. Smokescreen Isn't it? Watch this! /He's adjusting the phase shifter just a bit more, to start to go through the couch./ ItsyBitsySpyers [[Not Decepticons. Aliens of some type.]] VProwl I'm talking about aliens. Swoop Whoooooaaa! ItsyBitsySpyers [[Oh?]] Swoop *claps* VProwl If I was talking about Decepticons, I'd have said "Decepticons." Smokescreen /Grinning like a dork, slowly sliding down. His legs are probably wiggling about if there's a floor below them!/ Swoop *reaches out and tries to poke Smokescreen with his toe* VProwl We didn't cross paths with aliens that via their natural endowments were easily capable of infiltrating and annihilating Cybertronians, because when we saw ones with that potential, we did what these humans did not: left their planets alone. Smokescreen /Swoop's just going to go through Smokescreen! But Smokescreen does laugh at the feeling./ Swoop *squawks* Awesome! You Smokescreen do ghost stuff for fight?? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Given the estimate you once told him, there must not have been many of those.]] *Briefly forgets his question, staring at the tubes* Blaster Yikes.... Smokescreen I do! I once escaped the Decepticons with my ghost powers! And ended up getting them to take each other out! Swoop You can rip out GUTS with ghost stuff? 😮 VProwl We went to the planets the Decepticons went to. And the Decepticons went to the planets with the organics that scared them: highly intelligent, highly civilized, highly organized, highly technologically advanced. Tarantulas Are they preserved or alive...? ItsyBitsySpyers [[THAT one is alive.]] Tarantulas Well, clearly. Blaster I don't....holy.... Smokescreen I've never tried that! But I caaaaan do this! /He's pulling himself up again, and is starting to pull a small cube of energon out of his chest!/ Swoop *hears a familiar noise and looks at the screen with excitement* ItsyBitsySpyers *Shakes his helm. At least the clone gave her predecessor that much.* Swoop *is distracted from Smokescreen by the fact fire exists* *sorry, buddy, fire wins* VProwl *squints at the fire* Blaster -face covered again- Smokescreen /That's fair! He's putting the cube back in for later/ Swoop Her BURN tank :V Tarantulas *snrk* I suppose if they were alive, the matter is moot now. Swoop Her burn HIM kehehhehh Blaster -too much fire- Swoop Aww.... *disappointed* Kehehe Smokescreen This movie's getting pretty hot! VProwl ((cmon. you managed to write a funny line and then you immediately fucked it up.)) Swoop Her have fire in a gun Dinobots have fire in FACE kehehh ItsyBitsySpyers ((a round of applause for early whedon everyone)) ((i say sarcastically)) Swoop (🚢) ItsyBitsySpyers [[What was he...]]

[[Ah. What he was going to ask: How would you handle all of this? Do you believe the chances of survival-- Primus, this is brighter than Ravage said.]] Smokescreen Hey, Swoop, wanna see a neat trick? Swoop Yes! Smokescreen /He's settled on the couch again, and this time is ready to just pull a cube of energon out of his own chest!/ ItsyBitsySpyers [[Why didn't they turn the light on to start with.]] *Irritable buzz.* [[Do you believe the chances of survival are high enough to warrant trying anything at all, or would it be better to spare everyone their more gruesome deaths and terminate them?]] Smokescreen ... Is that what everyone does? Just sniff each other? Swoop Kahahah! That good trick! Next time, you pull SWORD! Smokescreen Is that what you're supposed to do with a nose? Haha- I need a sword first! Whiiiich- Omicron ((*omie peers in*)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((yo)) Smokescreen Swoop look there's fire on the screen! VProwl I don't know the layout of this facility, but I'd say their odds of survival are somewhere under twenty percent. If they kill themselves, their odds of survival are zero percent. Omicron ((Icy may not show up, but I'm derping around) Swoop Me can fire on SWOOP ekhehehh ItsyBitsySpyers *Is abruptly reminded of the metrotitan limerick. Flashes bright, hunches over to hide it, and trembles.* Smokescreen Just- look over there, Swoop! Swoop *looks* Smokescreen /He's quickly taking a practice sword out of his subspace and is sticking it in his chest, wincing- this is not pleasant for his spark at all!/ Swoop *looks back* *ERUPTS in laughter* ItsyBitsySpyers [[SMOKESCREEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING]] Smokescreen ... Nothing? Swoop You Smokescreen look DEAD Smokescreen /He's shifting and pretending he didn't just do that./ ItsyBitsySpyers *Getting to his feet* [[PUT THAT SWORD AWAY AT ONCE]] Smokescreen It is away! It's inside me- Swoop *CACKLES* Omicron ((you will make make icy show up in her feral state doing that smokey, nuu .0.)) Smokescreen ... Wait, yeah, frag, I forgot. Sorry, Sounds. Tarantulas They swim so well! ItsyBitsySpyers *Is distracted by them swimming. They swim? Of course they swim. There's nothing they can't do but fly, is there? And maybe even that, if they get the right host.* [[They do everything well.]] Smokescreen /He's pulling the sword out of him and is putting it back in his subspace. That is waaaay less painful, thank Primus./ Swoop *literally ROLLS on the floor laughing at Smokescreen's trick* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave turns back to watch Smokescreen for a second to make sure that sword isn't coming back out, then sits down.* Smokescreen /He's smiling now- hey, he got Swoop laughing!/ Tarantulas But I do wonder how exactly they adapted for swimming? Ah.... *snrks* Smokescreen /He is never doing that trick again./ ItsyBitsySpyers [[Superior lung capacity, no doubt.]] Tarantulas No, I mean - how they managed to evolve the capacity. VProwl They're modified based on their hosts' bodies, aren't they? Humans can swim. Tarantulas Not that well, honestly. Swoop *eventually rolls to a stop and watches the screen just in time* ItsyBitsySpyers [[So many interruptions. Twenty percent, twenty percent. Would you continue to assist them down to the one percent? What if you knew the percentage had dropped to zero at last? How would you handle matters then?]] Swoop KAH! EXPLODE! VProwl It hasn't dropped to zero percent until they're dead. Blaster -so much no- Smokescreen /He's finally turning off the phase shifter, lying down on the couch. He's really exhausted from all that!/ VProwl There's no advantage to giving up on survival before you're dead. Unless you've got something more important to do than try to survive. These people don't. Swoop *pushes himself up into a sitting position using his wings* Swoop Keheh Him bad at aim OH Explode :V Tarantulas *SNORTS* Swoop *thrashes with laughter and looks at Tarantulas* Him shoot LITTLE spider ItsyBitsySpyers [[...You are much more - hmm. Optimistic? Determined?]] *Taps a finger, thinking.* [[...Selfless. Than him, he thinks.]] [[He has much to learn.]] Tarantulas He was awfully mean about it. That spider did nothing to him, other than be in the wrong place at the wrong time. VProwl Am I? I just see no rational reason to give up on them. Swoop *grins* Maybe it RIDE bullet PCHOOOO! Smokescreen There needs to be more spider-loving movies Tarantulas There do. There certainly do. Swoop Spiderman movie like spiders Smokescreen ooh- Spidey's fun! I love Spidey VProwl *oh, a robot. finally, a character worth investing in.* Smokescreen Why is this Ripley so... not ripley ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[...Do cables into arm ports count?]] Smokescreen like I know she's a clone but VProwl @S «... She's in control.» *yes. it counts.* Swoop *doesn't have any reaction at all to Call being able to plug stuff into her arm, may be a little young to fully digest biological differences between species* ItsyBitsySpyers ((i was considering it like basic plug n play but it occurs to me that it looks like a needle)) ((god damn it)) VProwl ((the robot was in control, crisis very narrowly averted.)) Blaster -is it safe now?- ItsyBitsySpyers ((IF THERE IS A *SINGLE.* *NEEDLE.* IN CHARLOTTE'S WEB I AM THROWING HOLLYWOOD INTO A BIN)) Swoop *rolls back onto his belly* VProwl *... but it's enough to make the back of his neck very slightly prickle.* Tarantulas ...If she clears a path to the Betty, won't that mean the remaining aliens are more than capable of following the path as well? Swoop *kicks his feet slowly* Them in space Them just *throws his arms open and makes a whooshing noise* NO more people in ship Dead *rests his cheek on the floor* That boring. Them caaaaaaaan *grins* Mortal Kombat VProwl *ugh. a robot that thinks being a robot is disgusting and wants to be organic. never mind.* Smokescreen Hey! What's so great about being human anyway? Swoop Her Carly is human 😆 Tarantulas They're incredibly egotistical and apparently anything created by them shares that characteristic. Smokescreen Humans are good, but there's nothing worse about not being one Blaster -peers between digits- VProwl They programmed them that way. Swoop ego-tis-tickle tissssssssssssstickle kehehh Smokescreen ... why are humans so awful to mecha anyway Swoop eggo tis tickle ItsyBitsySpyers [[He was never one to assist most mechs to the very end. Deployers, perhaps. Those to whom he's sworn his loyalty or his spark. The rest... rarely below ten percent. Almost never under five.]]

[[Your earlier answer to that greyface makes him wonder what percent he is obligated to assist at now.]] Tarantulas *pings sw, the queen, eh?* Blaster -hides face again- ItsyBitsySpyers *And now he's leaning way off the couch to see.* *Pings Tarantulas back with an affirmative.* Swoop *holds his own feet* Soundwave When fighting movie? VProwl Well, I've got a /recommended/ number. But my answer isn't yours. I don't know what your philosophical outlook is. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Unclear, these days.]] *Pause.* [[He'd take notes and think on them if you had more lectures.]] Swoop :V VProwl Hm. I said more in that reply then I generally like to say in a week. Swoop *laughs his ass off at this guy getting his faces smashed* *laughs so hard he ends up squeaking* ItsyBitsySpyers *Points.* [[That was a valiant death.]] VProwl It was. Tarantulas *oh dear. oh. dear* ItsyBitsySpyers *....Slow head tilt.* Blaster -keeping face covered- ItsyBitsySpyers [[And that's. New.]] Swoop *is not even remotely getting what is happening here, just playing with his toes between fight scenes* Omicron ((aaaand this is why aliens of all kinds are scared of how humans give birth)) Smokescreen w what is this ItsyBitsySpyers [[........What is THAT?]] Prowl *this movie is going to make Prowl think human reproduction is even worse than it actually is* ItsyBitsySpyers *Fascinated. Not quite as much as he is by the xenomorphs. But it's an interesting... mutation? Is that what it is?* Tarantulas *sad noises* ItsyBitsySpyers *Manages not to say anything aloud. If Tarantulas is touching him, though, he'll get a wave of shock and sadness.* Swoop *has not even remotely been payign enough attention for this but he chirps back when the baby does* It bite! ItsyBitsySpyers *And then concern.*

@T: [[Tell him you are not at risk for any of - of that.]] VProwl ((well his son DID almost kill him)) Tarantulas *startles, then almost laughs aloud* @SW: ::Primus - Primus no.:: VProwl *startles when Tarantulas startles.* Tarantulas *soothes prowl with pets* Blaster -peers at screen again- VProwl *startles again* Swoop *starts slowly rolling around the floor again, he's a baby bird on a mission, not clear what the mission is but BY GOD is he going to roll for it* Smokescreen ... /Looking over and pinging Tarantulas again when he hears sad spider sounds./ Tarantulas *more pets, that totally works right* VProwl *now that he knows to expect them he just holds very still.* Blaster -COVERS face again- ItsyBitsySpyers *Well, at least he knows how to terrify this Blaster if it ever comes to that.* @T: [[Are you *certain?*]] Blaster -that's mean Soundwave- Swoop *bumps into a chair* Tarantulas *pings smokey reassurance, then back to sw* @SW: ::I'm quite certain, yes.:: ItsyBitsySpyers [[It really must be more careful with its toys.]] Blaster -isn't going to check this time- ItsyBitsySpyers [[Though he must say he does not care for the changes the excess human genetic material brings. It's less... clean looking. Even the hive material changed. Like flesh instead of shell.]] Smokescreen Man- that xenomorph looks WAY creepier VProwl "Clean looking"? Swoop *laughs cause he can guess what is coming* Tarantulas *oh poor thing, tarantulas feels awful for the look it gave her* VProwl The typical ones are made of drool. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Perhaps. But it is drool on a smooth and segmented surface.]] Swoop Ewwww!! *is DELIGHTED* ItsyBitsySpyers [[....How terrible.]] Swoop KAHAHA CHUNKS! Smokescreen ... Man, they really draw out the really upset noises Tarantulas At least it didn't last too terribly long. Swoop Dead! VProwl ((WOW that was a lot worse than i was expecting it to be)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((are you ok???)) VProwl ((yeah im ok)) Swoop ((that is one of the gnarliest on screen deaths ever imo)) Prowl *Prowl opted to not ask for visuals tonight and feels like she made the right choice* Blaster -peers at screen again- Swoop *is absolutely all grins and sunshine after that level of gore* VProwl ((oh, prowl offered her a feed at the start of the movie)) ItsyBitsySpyers [[....Poor creature.]] Omicron ((it was bad x.x)) VProwl ((i guess we'll say it wasn't accepted??)) Smokescreen Why do humans make this kinda thing so much? Swoop What thing? Prowl ((go for it, i must have missed it since I have 8 million tabs open atm ItsyBitsySpyers [[Even if it was a strange alternative to its predecessors.]] Smokescreen All this gory slag. Swoop Gore is AWESOME It BEST thing :V Smokescreen I mean, I'd be pretty good if I didn't have to see if for another million years! Tarantulas Yes, it didn't quite deserve that sort of death. And to be betrayed by one it thought its mother... Blaster ...not like I needed to recharge tonight.... ItsyBitsySpyers [[You'll get more work done, Blaster. Cheer up.]] [[...Well, it shouldn't have terminated the one who WAS its mother.]] Smokescreen Sounds- I'm still pretty exhausted, can I recharge on your couch? Blaster -huffs- Prowl There was a great deal of unnecessary termination in this film. ItsyBitsySpyers [[No recharging on his couch. If you require a space to rest, there are inns in New Praxus.]] Swoop *pulls out a datapad from subspace and pokes here, there, and everywhere until he finds some pictures of what happens when you don't respect the coffin corner and get your goddamn wings ripped off* *holds up the datapad in front of Smokescreen's face* Smokescreen . . . I don't think I can get up, Soounds, that's the problem. Prowl Are you all right? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...........Did you phase yourself into his couch.]]

((mark time: 10: 15)) Smokescreen I'm fine! I'm fine! Just kinda drained. ... Only a little. I can phase myself out after I rest for a bit. Swoop *hears screaming on screen just in time to catch the chicken going at the guy and LOSES IT* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Just. Just take the couch with you.]] Prowl I can cut him out of it. Smokescreen sounds I don't even I can get up with the couch prowl nooooo Swoop *gasps* Me Swoop can help! *flexes claws* Blaster .... Smokescreen /Smokescreen's turning the phase shifter on, and is starting to sink into the couch./ Smokescreen /Draining his energon a bit more, but he told Swoop he's a ghost, and he's sticking to it./ VProwl *mumbles* Don't give away your furniture. Swoop ((this baby is literally swoop)) ((people screaming no, him rockking back and forth to do the thing)) Tarantulas (( at least he KINDA did listen ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks at Prowl and just makes a frustrated hand motion at Smokescreen.* [[What is he supposed to do, let the mech stay here overnight?]] Swoop Me Swoop can get. Me Swoop can DROP outside! SMASH. Then Smokescreen fall out : > Smokescreen No, no no no, Swoop. It'll be fine. Look! VProwl He said he'd pull himself out. Omicron ((send him to dreaded wings and give smokey a shock?)) Smokescreen /With the phase shifter on, he's rolling himself out, just kinda lying on the floor. He's not stuck, though!/ Prowl Hm. Swoop *snickers and scampers around Smokescreen on all fours* Smokescreen swooooop please Swoop Hi : > Smokescreen Hiiii Swoop- you want candy again? ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks from Prowl to Smokescreen and back.*

[[How did any of the Autobots deal with yours. Please. Any hints at all.]] Swoop Her Bird like candy! Blaster ....was that a chicken? ItsyBitsySpyers [[No, that's a sheep.]] VProwl Ours isn't anything like that. Smokescreen ... pfpff Blaster ow ItsyBitsySpyers [[In that case, is there a way to officially take your Soundwave's place.]] VProwl Last I heard he was on Earth trying to lead the Decepticons with Galvatron. I wouldn't recommend it. Swoop *places both of his palms squarely on the floor and rolls himself up into a handstand* *straightens up and grins* *ta da* Swoop ((look its' swoop)) Blaster ...I'm....going to go now Smokescreen /He's honestly starting to fall into recharge on the floor. Using the phase shifter does drain him after a while!/ ItsyBitsySpyers [[We can send that one away. He'll change his paint job and tell everyone the med bay ran out of replacement armor after a battle.]] *Polite applause for Swoop.* VProwl *huff* Have fun working with humans. Swoop *curls up enough to spring up and flip onto his feet* *DRAMATIC bow* ItsyBitsySpyers *Shudders.* [[He'll take Smokescreen.]] Prowl ((i assume she won Swoop *is less than impressed by the audience he has here* ...... *griiiiiiiiiiiins* Blaster G'night -up and leaving- Swoop *DASHES over to smack Tara's shoulder but doesn't stick around, SPRINTING for the door instead* Blaster ((thanks for the stream and nightmares ItsyBitsySpyers ((you're welcome. try to sleep well, for real)) *Manages to catch Swoop with a bridge anyway. How d'you like them apples.* Tarantulas *looks infinitely offended by this assault, almost enough to get up and run after swoop, but thinks better of it and just curses for a moment* Smokescreen /Smokescreen would clap, but he really did doze off. It might work to just throw Smokescreen into a bridge./ Swoop *A VALIANT EFFORT WAS MADE and he shrieks with laughter all the way out* Prowl I think I'll be leaving now. Good night... everyone. ItsyBitsySpyers *He's in a mood because of the queen's fate, so Smokescreen gets a bridge. And so does his own Prowl, because why not.* Prowl *...well, that saved her a drive* VProwl Good n— *... and then she's gone.* Smokescreen /He'll have to thank Soundwave for the bridge later!/ Prowl *her mood's been down since the Swoop incident earlier, so getting back to Praxus quicker is probably for the best* VProwl ... What did she do to deserve that? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Nothing. He thought she might not want to run into Swoop if he came back.]] *Tap tap.* [[That, and he prefers to keep her on her toes.]] Omicron ((*waves* I'm gonna duck out, the end of the movie was fun 😊 have to try and work on icy's first plot thing on the blog)) VProwl ((*waves* good luck with plot)) Tarantulas Rude, but helpful. Omicron ((thank you! anyone is welcome to pop over for it)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((thank you for being here! good luck!!)) Prowl ((good luck! Smokescreen ((hope plot goes well : o! Tarantulas *is clinging to prowl a little more now that there aren't so many people there, if it's permitted* VProwl *it's permitted.* *... relaxes marginally.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Congratulations on officially dating, by the way.]] VProwl *stiffly* Thanks. Tarantulas *huffs, strangely awkward* I - thank you, I suppose? It seems like an odd thing to give congratulations for. ItsyBitsySpyers *...Wow. Prowl really IS nervous about having to be the one to tell others, isn't he.*

[[He doesn't see why.]] VProwl It's not something you talk about in polite company. ... Wasn't, anyway. I suppose that's more... lax, now. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He hasn't been polite company for roughly twelve and a half million years.]] *Soft huffing.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[In any case, we all know of our mutual interests, and have acted on them in the past. He isn't going to be scandalized by it. Or tell others, if that is what either of you think. That is your business. And you two already know about yourselves.]] VProwl I know, I know. It just... sounds like a threat. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He assures you it isn't.]] [[We as a species have come close to death. It is a wonder there are enough of us to find anyone we consider compatible, and pleasing that the both of you have.]] VProwl I know it's not. But it sounds like one. Tarantulas *did u hear that. sw thinks they're compatible, tarantulas is so pleased* VProwl *soundwave thinks they think they're compatible.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Actually, he said 'consider compatible', which is another ball game. He's worried that they're going to burn each other up. But that's what waiting and watching and being ready to either accept or murder is for.* Tarantulas *please don't murder the spide* ItsyBitsySpyers [[How would you have preferred he say it? And do not say that you prefer he didn't. He has, and he would again, if only to the both of you.]] *Head tilt. Genuinely curious.* VProwl ... You can't ask a question and then rule out the answer. Tarantulas *soft snort* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He can if he is interested in a wording change and not one of intent.]] VProwl *annoyed huff.* I'm not answering on the grounds that it would come across as a recommendation rather than an admission that one particular bit of wording is a lesser evil. I don't want a smaller negative willfully misconstrued as a positive. Tarantulas *considering prowl, then sw* It's... also difficult to reword something that by its very nature is perceived as a threat to mention, one should think. ItsyBitsySpyers [[As you wish, then.]]

*Looks to Tarantulas.* [[He does not think so. Plenty of mechs think hearing that he will be waiting for them later that night is a threat. He's reworded it successfully several times in his personal life.]] *A poor attempt to lighten the mood some, but an attempt nonetheless.* VProwl *huff* Tarantulas *snrk* It does depend on the context. ItsyBitsySpyers *Well. At least he got a small laugh out of them.* Tarantulas *tarantulas doesn't mind the congrats, but if it discomfits prowl, he's not going to go against prowl's arguments, naturally* *...nuzzles at prowl* VProwl *permits it, but doesn't relax into it.* Tarantulas *slightly sad visor* VProwl *now he feels uncomfortable AND guilty* Tarantulas *nooooo* ...Is there something on your mind, Prowl? *just in case it's not the dating thing* VProwl Other than this? No. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Would it help if he turned his attention elsewhere for a short while?]] VProwl ... No? Tarantulas Nono, do stay here. *lightly grabs onto whatever he's nearest* VProwl *why would that help* ItsyBitsySpyers *Head to the other side. Doesn't quite understand. If being seen by someone else brings tension, and his words have brought more, then wouldn't a temporary shift of focus free them from the public eye, so to speak?* VProwl *no, the public eye is everywhere all around them, and soundwave looking away for a moment isn't going to change the fact that prowl's now naked and he's just waiting for all of cybertron to notice* ItsyBitsySpyers *Lets Tarantulas grab his arm. Mostly because he didn't even feel it. Arms need more pressure than that to register on more than one or two sensors.* [[Then perhaps a subject change?]] VProwl Very well. Why did you think I have a percentage for where I'd stop trying to save a life? *that's been bugging him* Tarantulas *hm, is curious about this too* ItsyBitsySpyers *He's /almost/ sorry they said not to move. This music is infectious and his every wire sings with wanting to move. But he's sat still through worse.*

[[In the scenario proposed? The result waiting at the end of that particular potential failure. A simple problem of a ship about to crash is one thing. Being burst apart from inside the... what do humans call their...]]

*Draws stripes over his chest with his fingers for a second, thinking.*

[[Rib kennel. It seems more merciful.]] [[Below a certain percentage, at least.]] VProwl Hm. VProwl If THEY asked for a quicker, more painless death—below a certain percentage, I would consider helping them arrange that. If they were still fighting—if they still WANTED to fight—I would have no right to take that from them. Tarantulas *snicker* Chest. Generally referred to as chest. VProwl Unless it was to kill one infected to save the others. But that's not the scenario you presented. ItsyBitsySpyers *Glance at Tarantulas.* [[The internal supports, not the meat.]] Tarantulas Ribcage, then. VProwl *tarantulas is so smart. just listen to him.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Takes a moment to think about that. Then shakes his head.* [[No, no. Cages are where you keep dangerous things that must not get loose. Kennels are where important things that must be protected are kept.]] VProwl I'd trust the expertise of the mech who reformatted his alt-mode into an earthling. Tarantulas Don't argue with me how it ought to be named - I wasn't the one who decided their terminology, hyeh. ItsyBitsySpyers [[His chosen earthling has no bones.]] Tarantulas I'm glad you do know THAT, though. Some humans don't even know that much. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He isn't surprised.]] ItsyBitsySpyers [[Where were we. Percentages, rights...]] *Rewind memory.* [[Killing the infected. Then you would have terminated the one with the spawn in him?]] Tarantulas They DID think of a plan to preserve his life without ending theirs, though. VProwl Not immediately. I would have gotten an estimate from the expert on how long it would take to emerge, and kill him either if we got too close to that deadline or found that there was a vanishingly low probability that we'd be able to get him to somebody who would actually extract the alien and keep him alive. Not as a mercy killing, but to protect everyone else—Earth included. ItsyBitsySpyers *Privately, Soundwave does not believe he'd take that risk. Not for anyone but eight of the mechs in the building.*

*...After Tarantulas' point and Prowl's decision, he's not sure he should mention that.* Tarantulas *tarantulas wouldn't mind tbh* VProwl ... He'd probably have to die, though. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He did do that.]] [[And far more bravely than any of those without.]] VProwl No, I meant—I'd probably have calculated that, yes, he should be terminated before the alien finished developing. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Ah.]]

*...You know what, he's going to say it. Prowl knows who he is. If after all this time he expects Soundwave to think exactly like him, he has another think coming. Tarantulas, he's still not sure what to believe. Probably that Tarantulas would keep the human alive just to get the xenomorph out and start the breeding experiments over again.*

[[...Were there an equivalent creature for our kind, he would have had that Cybertronian terminated on the spot.]] Tarantulas *mutters something about not having to have killed him if he were around because he could have operated on him there on the spot* VProwl Mm. Less optimistic, but... given these things' record, not imprudent.

*nudges tara. ur right, but that's not part of the game.* Tarantulas *nudges him back, shh* ItsyBitsySpyers [[They were already outnumbered. And frightened beings make poor decisions. They get separated. The instant that host disappears from sight, for however long, they are effectively another enemy waiting to be discovered. Slaughtering them would preserve the chances we already had and be sure to reduce the maximum number of opponents.]] [[But... he admits that his thoughts are colored by lessons he was forced to learn against his will.]] *Namely, the arena.* VProwl Hmm. As I said: not imprudent. Tarantulas Not unwise, yes. With so many unknown variables, I do think the choice is a debatable one, instead of a fixed yes or no. Awfully subjective. ItsyBitsySpyers *Nods. He wanted to be sure Prowl knew WHY, and not just... internally react to that concept like your average Autobot.* VProwl *oh, he knew why: the same reason he'd consider the same option.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Just because you understand something doesn't mean you don't revile it, after all. Right, Prowl?* VProwl *detests calling it "subjective," but it's not worth arguing semantics.* Tarantulas *fair fair* ItsyBitsySpyers *Settles back into the couch and folds his hands on his lap. Stares at the wall.*

[[...The Queen did not have to perish, though. That was nothing but ingratitude and fantasy. As if such a being would consider a human a superior organic.]] VProwl Sure she had to perish. She was as much a threat to the humans as any of the other aliens. More of a threat, even, because she has the means to produce more. Tarantulas It was a first test-run - of course it was faulty and unpredictable. Unfortunate that it did kill the queen, but... VProwl ... Oh. We've stopped talking about saving the humans. Got it. ItsyBitsySpyers [[The ship was going to crash regardless, and her spawn had no reason to slaughter her. They might have lived in the nest until such time as the ship hit the planet. Instead, it followed the humans, killed more of them, and suffered.]] ItsyBitsySpyers *Thinks that IS talking about saving the humans.* VProwl *it's drifted out of the realm of controllable actions the humans and/or allies could have affected* ItsyBitsySpyers *Okay, yes, it's done that. But what do you want from him. He admires what he admires.* [[...He wonders if the mechs who reproduce via gestation chamber instead of other methods suffer from the same problems.]] Tarantulas Which same problems? VProwl I haven't /heard/ of any of them being nearly killed by their offspring. And I'd think they'd be less pleased to reproduce if that were a known risk. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Well, you wouldn't, would you? They'd be too dead to tell you.]] VProwl I said "nearly." As in the ones that survived to tell the tale. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Oh. Oh, yes.]] *Looks at Tarantulas and nods his head at Prowl. Those problems.* [[Plenty of Earth animals perish after reproducing. Octopuses, for example. No reason other fleshlings or some mechs wouldn't.]] [[Though he thinks it's a waste of good octopuses. A design flaw of some sort. One of their only ones.]] Tarantulas Hm. I've heard of mecha being offlined by complications while carrying, but not by being intentionally murdered by their sparkling. And the complications certainly aren't common. VProwl What sort of complications? ItsyBitsySpyers *Listening attentively to the answer to that question* Tarantulas Undue strain on the carrier's spark, sometimes because they're carrying more than one sparkling, or other times when they've not consumed enough to support both their life and the sparkling's, or... well. Those sorts of things. OH. Oh. You said - gestation tanks. What am I thinking. Well, it's similar, anyhow. ItsyBitsySpyers *Alarm* [[What do you mean, consumed enough to support both?]] [[How much does it require?]] Tarantulas More than the usual amount of matter, certainly. It depends on the health of the carrier and the sparktypes of both carrier and offspring. Tarantulas ...Among other things, of course. ItsyBitsySpyers *Great. Now he's gotta intensify his concerns about energon shortages on planets where that's the main or only way left to revive Cybertron. Because that problem wasn't difficult enough.* Tarantulas Ah! *sad noises* I - I ought to go. As much as I'd adore continuing this conversation, I do have business to attend to, sooner rather than later, preferably. *snuggles prowl close* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Yes. Yes, of course. He did not intend to keep you from it.]] VProwl *... attempts very poorly to reciprocate the snuggle. does a bad job of it.* *awkward waist pat.* Tarantulas *at least he tried* *he gets a smooch before tarantulas gets up tho* I'll see the two of you soon, I'm sure. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He looks forward to it.]] VProwl *that sounds like a threat.* Tarantulas *everything tara & sw say could probably be perceived as a threat if you look at it the right way, tbh* VProwl *more of a threat than usual* Tarantulas *it's not, tara promises* VProwl *he'll take it on faith* Tarantulas *good, thanks prowl. but now tara's off - gnight!* VProwl *watches him go.* *... doesn't scoot closer to soundwave once he's gone.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks in the space between them, then up. The mental voice is on the gentler, quieter side. More of a murmur in the back of the mind than a voice chattering in the front of it.*

[[...If you do not want to touch him, you need not do so. But he will always do his best to ensure no mech harms you as long as he is with you, and he...]]

[[What he told Tarantulas two years ago is true.]] [[If you would prefer to be in your own home, he understands and does not mind. If you prefer to be here, but separated, he will enjoy simply sharing a space. If you wish to be here and touching somehow, he will enjoy that as well.]] VProwl *... puzzled look.* You told Tarantulas that two years ago? *Soundwave and Tarantulas weren't friendly two years ago.*

Tarantulas *will tarantulas arriving help with swoop's mood a little too? let's see. in comes the spidermech, it's been a while* VProwl *he was so tense he missed the question* @S «What? No. Why?» *oh, and now Tarantulas is here, and Prowl's even more tense.* Swoop *digs his claws in a little bit and grins* Cake pretty weak thing. Look. *he holds it up and scratches the side* It in ..... tiers! Kehehhehehehh Smokescreen /Is about to wave excitedly at Messy, but stops himself- maybe Messy wants to stick with Prowl tonight?/ ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave taps the space between himself and Prowl and glances over at him. That's wh-- oh. Okay, he'll just make room for Tarantulas. Maybe that's why there's space.* *Soundwave huffs at the tiers joke.* [[Not bad, Swoop.]] VProwl ((cro why are you torturing us)) Tarantulas (( srsly ItsyBitsySpyers ((to prepare you for the real horror ahead)) Smokescreen //this is like dinner and 2 shows Swoop *perks up and then preens at the compliment* *still has cake hands* Smokescreen ... /He's going to offer Swoop another cake, this time a different flavor. Maybe he's picky!/ Swoop *takes whatever is offered to him but doesn't do anything with it* Smokescreen ... Are you feeling okay, Swoop? If you like a different flavor, just let me know! Tarantulas *yup, smokey's right, tara's a little focused on vprowl, gonna settle right in with him as soon as possible. how much semi-subtle touching can he get away with, hm?* Swoop Me Swoop am FEELING *squishes some cake between his fingers* good! *absolute shiteating grin* Tarantulas *...narrowed visor at soundwave. why this* Why hello to you too, Soundwave. Smokescreen ... I'm glad! You should eat cake with your mouth, though. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Greetings. It has been a while.]]

*Places a smiley on his screen. Just saying hello, dear spide.*

[[Please. Do not squash cake everywhere. We have enough to clean after weekends.]] Prowl ...is this meant to be a lesson in futility? Swoop *looks back and forth between Smokescreen and Soundwave* Smokescreen I think it's like, a reference to this ancient greek myth humans have about this guy who has to roll this ball up a hill every day, and start over again! Probably! ItsyBitsySpyers [[That depends. Have you lost all hope?]] Swoop *isn't totally clear on what the consensus is here* *just wants to give cake to Bird* ........ *wipes his hand off on his chest, problem solved* Prowl What purpose did rolling the ball up the hill serve? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Put the cake on the bar and go clean your hands in the si--...... Fine.]] Smokescreen I'm not really sure! Maybe doing it, like, kept the Earth moving or something? That's what a lot of those early myths are like. Like, I think this one guy got like, executed for giving everyone fire and opening this box of misfortune. Prowl ((OMG CRO ((BANNED ItsyBitsySpyers ((I AIN'T SORRY BOUT NOTHIN)) Tarantulas (( o m f g Swoop ((jesus christ XDD)) Prowl ((YOU SHOULD BE SORRY Smokescreen ((cro is a treasure Swoop *has no idea what's going on, focused instead on putting the two pieces of cake from Smokescreen on top of each other for maximum cake* ItsyBitsySpyers ((all right that's enough of that)) Prowl Hm. ItsyBitsySpyers ((we're just waiting for one person to get back and then we'll start)) Swoop Soundwave! *holds up the double cake* Where can cake for Her BIRD? ItsyBitsySpyers [[On the bar, where he told you. She will not come down today, which he also told you.]] Swoop :< Smokescreen /He's going to quietly ping Messy before he goes over to the bar to try to help himself./ ItsyBitsySpyers ((WARNINGS: OKAY. This is basically the completely incorrectly done Alien movie that should've had the tagline A Squick For Every Moviegoer. It has all the pointless edge that late 90s/early 00s movies loved. If you already can't stand a regular Alien movie, you'll probably want to sit this one out. More specific warnings more or less in order with some throughout: Weird organic tissue intro, visible surgery with internal contents, flashing lights (really bad after the flamethrower incident and in the water and one other time I forget), frankly unnecessary blood and gore/violence/death, incidents of ableism and/or dehumanizing talk, sexist or misogynist talk, incidents of mostly-nudity, foul language, body horror, hypodermic-like imagery, weird alien pregnancy, grotesque final alien scene, super shaky camera.)) Swoop *goes and puts the cake on the bar, wiping his hands off on himself one last time for good measure* VProwl *tarantulas can get away with semi-subtle touching only up to the point where it's firm enough that Prowl can feel it. at which point he startles almost out of his seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[The SINK, Swoop.]] Swoop Sink? *cocks his head, why would you put cake in the sink....?* OH! For -- *he holds up his hands* Smokescreen ... /Trying to sneak a bite of the bar cake now while he's here!/ ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[...Before we begin. He promised that he would be careful not to show anything with... that, for two weeks. He does not know if you remember that the xenomorph organics tend to puncture skulls with their inner jaws as a fatal blow. Will this trouble you, or should he proceed as planned?]] VProwl @S «Oh—that's fine. Head trauma is fine.» *were they reading the brains they ate? no. ... probably. ... no. they definitely weren't.* ItsyBitsySpyers ((rabbit can you PLEASE not have five thousand pop-ups)) Swoop *actually uses the sink like a person who has been indoors before, everyone thank Ratchet for making this great day possible* ItsyBitsySpyers *Nods and commands the projector to start playing. Leaves the smiley on his visor.* Swoop *scampers over to the seats before immediately stopping, unsure of what to do with himself* Tarantulas *nope, touching is definitely heavy enough to be felt. when prowl startles, tarantulas startles right back* Prowl? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...This is the most disgusting introduction.]] VProwl *pings alternate, video feed* What? What. Nothing. Smokescreen ... Is it really that bad? It just looked slimy. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Same thing, most times.]] Swoop *stands still - legs shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent - and looks at the space in front of him, waiting for something to prompt him* Smokescreen You're not a fan of Slime, Slimewave? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Swoop. Take a seat.]] Swoop *plops down exactly where he was standing* Tarantulas May I...? *clearly ready to cuddle prowl again* *also pings smokey back* Swoop *scoots on his butt closer to everyone else* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Precious.]] Smokescreen /This time sends two pings back!/ Smokescreen Is that how humans- you know- Swoop *scoot scoot* Tarantulas *three pings to smokey then* Smokescreen /this time, he does 5! 3 + 2!/ Smokescreen ((DANGIT i had a drink for this and this fly just comes swooping in to get in my drink 😧 )) ItsyBitsySpyers ((BAD FLY)) VProwl *tries to look at Tarantulas without looking away from the screen, so his alternate can keep watching.* ... What? Smokescreen ((drunk fly now)) ItsyBitsySpyers *Nudges Tarantulas.* [[Number eight.]] Swoop *finally is close enough to someone or something to rest his helm on it and watch the screen* ZAP Tarantulas Eight? Swoop Why Them zap face? ItsyBitsySpyers [[To make her let the doctor go.]] Swoop WHy Smokescreen That human sounded kinda like Ratchet vaguely for a klik! ItsyBitsySpyers [[So he would not die.]] Swoop Why ItsyBitsySpyers [[He does not know.]] *Perks. Majesty?* Tarantulas *ahh, eight, he sees* Blaster -what did he walk in on?- Swoop It wet Blaster Oh....wow ItsyBitsySpyers *Tiny vent. What fabulous design.* Tarantulas *to prowl* May I touch? ItsyBitsySpyers *He wonders how much battering damage the crest can take in battle.* Swoop *slooowly slides down to lay on the floor on his belly* *wings ouuuuuuutttt* *watch your feet* VProwl ... Sure. Yes. ItsyBitsySpyers ((fun fact: in a deleted scene they say walmart bought weyland yutani out)) Smokescreen ... How much do you bet they're all gonna go offline again? VProwl ((omg)) Smokescreen ((canon Swoop ((oh man I forgot about that, too good)) Blaster -well, he's in the room now, and kinda curious about this- ItsyBitsySpyers [[...."Urban pacification".]] [[So they mean to loose the organics on citizens who do not--]] *HUFF* [[Tame them. How amusing.]] [[On citizens who do not comply, likely for good reason.]] Blaster ....this isn't going to end well, is it? Prowl Ugh. Smokescreen Man- I kinda hope they all get their just desserts with those kinda ideas Swoop *IMMEDIATELY FLAILS WITH EXCITEMENT and spins around to sit on his heels with a gigantic grin* THAT! THAT! Tarantulas *promptly slips his hand in prowl's and wraps half of his arms around him, settling in* Swoop YOU SEE, you see FALLEN KINGDOM trailer???? : > VProwl *TENSENESS INTENSIFIES* Swoop *bounces* You Soundwave see? It THAT! *points* What You said! ItsyBitsySpyers [[What?]] Swoop NEW Jurassic World movie!!!!!! Me Swoop want to see! Us DINOBOTS want to SEE! Blaster -he's gonna sit somewhere out of the way of the flailing- ItsyBitsySpyers [[Another one? If the twins have their way, you will. Eventually.]] [[Greetings, Blaster.]] Swoop *hops and chirps* Blaster Ah. Hello, Soundwave. Tarantulas *omg prowl relax, this isn't much more touching than usual is it* Swoop Jurassic World! Jurassic World! Jurassic World! VProwl *it's different now* Tarantulas *...fair* Swoop *keeps bouncing around and chirping about Jurassic World, it's going to take a lot to stop him* ItsyBitsySpyers *What about a feeler wrapped around his mouth.* Swoop *immediately starts to CHOMP but has enough of his birdy brain about him not to go through with it (completely)* Smokescreen /Smokescreen's wincing at the feeler coming out. Ew ew ew./ Blaster -WELL then, that's one way to silence a Dinobot- Wait.... ItsyBitsySpyers *C a r e f u l l y extricates his feeler from Swoop's mouth. Ugh.* Blaster Are those other humans? ItsyBitsySpyers [[They are.]] [[Welcome to government military projects.]] Blaster Wait Tarantulas *snorts at the "project"* Blaster No Swoop *bleehh* *one slobbery feeler for soundwave* Smokescreen I wanna play that game! Blaster They purposefully... ItsyBitsySpyers *Huffing at her mocking him. She continues to be a favorite human, even as a partially inhuman clone.* Swoop KAH! Her hit! ItsyBitsySpyers [[And yes, they did.]] [[The creatures require external hosts for part of the process.]] Blaster ....yikes Smokescreen I wanna DO that kinda move! Swoop *hasn't been paying much attention but he perks up when he hears that whistle, he knows that "get over here" whistle* Prowl It's not that difficult. ItsyBitsySpyers ((fun fact 2: sigourney actually performed that shot herself)) Tarantulas Corrosive...? Hm. Smokescreen I guess! But it looks cool! ... what's with the feet thing don't like that Blaster Was her blood eating through the metal? ItsyBitsySpyers [[It was.]] VProwl ((how many tries did it take her)) Swoop *pays the tiniest bit more attention since he knows that condescending noise* Smokescreen ((can you imagine the bloopers Swoop *probably everyone with a beastmode does tbh* Blaster Either that's really weak metal, or her blood isn't human ItsyBitsySpyers ((i believe they gave her six total to try it in herself and she hit it on the last one)) ((the crew burst into immediate applause, which is why there was a cut right there)) Swoop ((Yeah I want to say I remember them saying they were going to fake it but she went for it one last time and BOOM)) *pats at the nearest person to him* What happen? In movie. ItsyBitsySpyers *Look at them. Look at them sleeping curled up.* Tarantulas (( wHAT ItsyBitsySpyers [[Hah.]] Swoop *pat pat pat* Prowl *congrats, it's Prowl, who pulls out of Swoop's reach quickly* They cloned the Ripley human from the other documentaries in order to extract the alien from her. She appears to be more than human. ItsyBitsySpyers *Has an idea or two why.* Prowl And the military started a breeding program. Foolishly. Swoop *has no idea what any of that means but scoots closer to Prowl, still sitting on the floor* Why them in room? With button. Prowl To torture the alien into listening to them. They think it can be trained. Smokescreen I think the lesson is that all militaries are fragged. Swoop Why listen? :s Tarantulas *internal screm at "baby"* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Trained to hate them, perhaps. As it should. Keeping perfection locked away - hmph.]] Swoop *leans on Prowl's leg* Blaster .............. Prowl *pulls leg away* Don't do that. Swoop Do what Prowl Don't touch me. You can sit where you are. Swoop Why ItsyBitsySpyers [[Ah... so that transferred, too.]] Prowl Because I asked you not to. Swoop Why Blaster -what's wrong with lab-grown- Prowl *sighs* Because. That is the only answer I need to give you. Swoop ............. *reaches out and touches the very tip of Prowl's ped with the very very tip of his claw* Smokescreen Swoop, bad. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Swoop, do not touch the other guests if they have told you not to touch them.]] Prowl *pulls away* Stop. Smokescreen If you keep touching, Bird won't come out for sure. ItsyBitsySpyers *Pings Prowl. Did you see that shot.* Swoop Him Soundwave say no Bird AT ALL tonight VProwl *STARTS* @S «What?» Smokescreen But Bird especially won't show up if you keep touching Prowl. Swoop Why Smokescreen because ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[The human performed an excellent ricochet shot to shoot the one behind him.]] Swoop Keheh! Because WHY Blaster .............. VProwl @S «Oh. Yes. I saw.» ItsyBitsySpyers [[A noble sacrifice.]] Blaster -slowly hides face- Smokescreen Because because! Keep your servos off of Prowl or else- uhh- you'll get grounded. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Because you have been ordered not to touch them, and if you disobey, he will bridge you home. Again.]] [[And you will not see any of the fighting.]] Swoop *fluffs up his armor and flairs his wings at Smokescreen's very poorly worded threat* Smokescreen Yeah, that too. You'll miss all the good bits! Prowl *scoffs* ItsyBitsySpyers [[So clever.]] Swoop You Smokescreen not STRONG enough to GROUND Me Swoop! Blaster Yikes Smokescreen I mean- Sounds is the one that'll ground you. I'm just saying that it'll happen! Just don't touch Prowl and there won't be any problems! I'll even give you a snack. Swoop NO ONE ground Me Swoop! *flaps his wings once at Smokescreen for emphasis* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He will.]] Smokescreen ... Not that kinda ground. Ground like- no fun stuff ever. Swoop *vents RATHER warm air* ItsyBitsySpyers *Trying to hide that he's shaking. Clever AND opportunistic.* *If unfortunate.* ((this is so goddamn unnecessary)) Swoop *leans in towards Smokescreen, wings still flared* Try! Prowl *Prowl's going to move to another seat away from Swoop before she considers putting Swoop in stasis cuffs* Blaster -STILL covering face- -he doesn't like this movie- Swoop ((While there is a lot to criticize in this movie, I gotta say that I love the set design. There is something about this ship that is charming to me. Just matches the douchey atmosphere lol)) *would absolutely flip shit if someone put cuffs on him* Smokescreen /Smokescreen's pushing Swoop's face away/ Come on, Swoop! You made Prowl move. Be good. Prowl ((it's a good design, creepy and efficient Swoop *locks his joints and digs his toes into the flooring so that Smokescreen's attempts are completely ineffective at moving him an inch* Me Swoop NOT good. Me DINOBOT. Smokescreen ... /In that case, he's pulling his servo away, and then turning on the phase shifter, reaching to just put a servo in Swoop's arm, if possible./ Be a Dinobot that acts good, then! Blaster -uncovers face- ....what just...actually no, I don't wanna know ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave leans forward to look around Tarantulas and bobs his helm at Prowl.*

[[Surely with all the organics that Cybertronians of your world encountered, you've run into situations similar to these? Or run calculations on potential scenarios.]] Swoop *goes from looming to owlishly blinking in cartoon curiosity in an instant* What THAT? 😮 VProwl Define "similar to these." Smokescreen What? This? /He's pulling his servo away again/ This is my arm! Swoop ((this movie is so gay)) You a ghost! 😮 ItsyBitsySpyers [[Beings capable of at least picking off Cybertronians, if not outright slaughtering them, breaking into or infesting a base.]] Smokescreen I am! You got me! Tarantulas *curious about sw's question* Swoop Cool! *plops back with his legs kicked out in front of him, full toddler style* VProwl Yes. We commonly called them "soldiers." ... Because they were soldiers. Smokescreen Isn't it? Watch this! /He's adjusting the phase shifter just a bit more, to start to go through the couch./ ItsyBitsySpyers [[Not Decepticons. Aliens of some type.]] VProwl I'm talking about aliens. Swoop Whoooooaaa! ItsyBitsySpyers [[Oh?]] Swoop *claps* VProwl If I was talking about Decepticons, I'd have said "Decepticons." Smokescreen /Grinning like a dork, slowly sliding down. His legs are probably wiggling about if there's a floor below them!/ Swoop *reaches out and tries to poke Smokescreen with his toe* VProwl We didn't cross paths with aliens that via their natural endowments were easily capable of infiltrating and annihilating Cybertronians, because when we saw ones with that potential, we did what these humans did not: left their planets alone. Smokescreen /Swoop's just going to go through Smokescreen! But Smokescreen does laugh at the feeling./ Swoop *squawks* Awesome! You Smokescreen do ghost stuff for fight?? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Given the estimate you once told him, there must not have been many of those.]] *Briefly forgets his question, staring at the tubes* Blaster Yikes.... Smokescreen I do! I once escaped the Decepticons with my ghost powers! And ended up getting them to take each other out! Swoop You can rip out GUTS with ghost stuff? 😮 VProwl We went to the planets the Decepticons went to. And the Decepticons went to the planets with the organics that scared them: highly intelligent, highly civilized, highly organized, highly technologically advanced. Tarantulas Are they preserved or alive...? ItsyBitsySpyers [[THAT one is alive.]] Tarantulas Well, clearly. Blaster I don't....holy.... Smokescreen I've never tried that! But I caaaaan do this! /He's pulling himself up again, and is starting to pull a small cube of energon out of his chest!/ Swoop *hears a familiar noise and looks at the screen with excitement* ItsyBitsySpyers *Shakes his helm. At least the clone gave her predecessor that much.* Swoop *is distracted from Smokescreen by the fact fire exists* *sorry, buddy, fire wins* VProwl *squints at the fire* Blaster -face covered again- Smokescreen /That's fair! He's putting the cube back in for later/ Swoop Her BURN tank :V Tarantulas *snrk* I suppose if they were alive, the matter is moot now. Swoop Her burn HIM kehehhehh Blaster -too much fire- Swoop Aww.... *disappointed* Kehehe Smokescreen This movie's getting pretty hot! VProwl ((cmon. you managed to write a funny line and then you immediately fucked it up.)) Swoop Her have fire in a gun Dinobots have fire in FACE kehehh ItsyBitsySpyers ((a round of applause for early whedon everyone)) ((i say sarcastically)) Swoop (🚢) ItsyBitsySpyers [[What was he...]]

[[Ah. What he was going to ask: How would you handle all of this? Do you believe the chances of survival-- Primus, this is brighter than Ravage said.]] Smokescreen Hey, Swoop, wanna see a neat trick? Swoop Yes! Smokescreen /He's settled on the couch again, and this time is ready to just pull a cube of energon out of his own chest!/ ItsyBitsySpyers [[Why didn't they turn the light on to start with.]] *Irritable buzz.* [[Do you believe the chances of survival are high enough to warrant trying anything at all, or would it be better to spare everyone their more gruesome deaths and terminate them?]] Smokescreen ... Is that what everyone does? Just sniff each other? Swoop Kahahah! That good trick! Next time, you pull SWORD! Smokescreen Is that what you're supposed to do with a nose? Haha- I need a sword first! Whiiiich- Omicron ((*omie peers in*)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((yo)) Smokescreen Swoop look there's fire on the screen! VProwl I don't know the layout of this facility, but I'd say their odds of survival are somewhere under twenty percent. If they kill themselves, their odds of survival are zero percent. Omicron ((Icy may not show up, but I'm derping around) Swoop Me can fire on SWOOP ekhehehh ItsyBitsySpyers *Is abruptly reminded of the metrotitan limerick. Flashes bright, hunches over to hide it, and trembles.* Smokescreen Just- look over there, Swoop! Swoop *looks* Smokescreen /He's quickly taking a practice sword out of his subspace and is sticking it in his chest, wincing- this is not pleasant for his spark at all!/ Swoop *looks back* *ERUPTS in laughter* ItsyBitsySpyers [[SMOKESCREEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING]] Smokescreen ... Nothing? Swoop You Smokescreen look DEAD Smokescreen /He's shifting and pretending he didn't just do that./ ItsyBitsySpyers *Getting to his feet* [[PUT THAT SWORD AWAY AT ONCE]] Smokescreen It is away! It's inside me- Swoop *CACKLES* Omicron ((you will make make icy show up in her feral state doing that smokey, nuu .0.)) Smokescreen ... Wait, yeah, frag, I forgot. Sorry, Sounds. Tarantulas They swim so well! ItsyBitsySpyers *Is distracted by them swimming. They swim? Of course they swim. There's nothing they can't do but fly, is there? And maybe even that, if they get the right host.* [[They do everything well.]] Smokescreen /He's pulling the sword out of him and is putting it back in his subspace. That is waaaay less painful, thank Primus./ Swoop *literally ROLLS on the floor laughing at Smokescreen's trick* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave turns back to watch Smokescreen for a second to make sure that sword isn't coming back out, then sits down.* Smokescreen /He's smiling now- hey, he got Swoop laughing!/ Tarantulas But I do wonder how exactly they adapted for swimming? Ah.... *snrks* Smokescreen /He is never doing that trick again./ ItsyBitsySpyers [[Superior lung capacity, no doubt.]] Tarantulas No, I mean - how they managed to evolve the capacity. VProwl They're modified based on their hosts' bodies, aren't they? Humans can swim. Tarantulas Not that well, honestly. Swoop *eventually rolls to a stop and watches the screen just in time* ItsyBitsySpyers [[So many interruptions. Twenty percent, twenty percent. Would you continue to assist them down to the one percent? What if you knew the percentage had dropped to zero at last? How would you handle matters then?]] Swoop KAH! EXPLODE! VProwl It hasn't dropped to zero percent until they're dead. Blaster -so much no- Smokescreen /He's finally turning off the phase shifter, lying down on the couch. He's really exhausted from all that!/ VProwl There's no advantage to giving up on survival before you're dead. Unless you've got something more important to do than try to survive. These people don't. Swoop *pushes himself up into a sitting position using his wings* Swoop Keheh Him bad at aim OH Explode :V Tarantulas *SNORTS* Swoop *thrashes with laughter and looks at Tarantulas* Him shoot LITTLE spider ItsyBitsySpyers [[...You are much more - hmm. Optimistic? Determined?]] *Taps a finger, thinking.* [[...Selfless. Than him, he thinks.]] [[He has much to learn.]] Tarantulas He was awfully mean about it. That spider did nothing to him, other than be in the wrong place at the wrong time. VProwl Am I? I just see no rational reason to give up on them. Swoop *grins* Maybe it RIDE bullet PCHOOOO! Smokescreen There needs to be more spider-loving movies Tarantulas There do. There certainly do. Swoop Spiderman movie like spiders Smokescreen ooh- Spidey's fun! I love Spidey VProwl *oh, a robot. finally, a character worth investing in.* Smokescreen Why is this Ripley so... not ripley ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[...Do cables into arm ports count?]] Smokescreen like I know she's a clone but VProwl @S «... She's in control.» *yes. it counts.* Swoop *doesn't have any reaction at all to Call being able to plug stuff into her arm, may be a little young to fully digest biological differences between species* ItsyBitsySpyers ((i was considering it like basic plug n play but it occurs to me that it looks like a needle)) ((god damn it)) VProwl ((the robot was in control, crisis very narrowly averted.)) Blaster -is it safe now?- ItsyBitsySpyers ((IF THERE IS A *SINGLE.* *NEEDLE.* IN CHARLOTTE'S WEB I AM THROWING HOLLYWOOD INTO A BIN)) Swoop *rolls back onto his belly* VProwl *... but it's enough to make the back of his neck very slightly prickle.* Tarantulas ...If she clears a path to the Betty, won't that mean the remaining aliens are more than capable of following the path as well? Swoop *kicks his feet slowly* Them in space Them just *throws his arms open and makes a whooshing noise* NO more people in ship Dead *rests his cheek on the floor* That boring. Them caaaaaaaan *grins* Mortal Kombat VProwl *ugh. a robot that thinks being a robot is disgusting and wants to be organic. never mind.* Smokescreen Hey! What's so great about being human anyway? Swoop Her Carly is human 😆 Tarantulas They're incredibly egotistical and apparently anything created by them shares that characteristic. Smokescreen Humans are good, but there's nothing worse about not being one Blaster -peers between digits- VProwl They programmed them that way. Swoop ego-tis-tickle tissssssssssssstickle kehehh Smokescreen ... why are humans so awful to mecha anyway Swoop eggo tis tickle ItsyBitsySpyers [[He was never one to assist most mechs to the very end. Deployers, perhaps. Those to whom he's sworn his loyalty or his spark. The rest... rarely below ten percent. Almost never under five.]]

[[Your earlier answer to that greyface makes him wonder what percent he is obligated to assist at now.]] Tarantulas *pings sw, the queen, eh?* Blaster -hides face again- ItsyBitsySpyers *And now he's leaning way off the couch to see.* *Pings Tarantulas back with an affirmative.* Swoop *holds his own feet* Soundwave When fighting movie? VProwl Well, I've got a /recommended/ number. But my answer isn't yours. I don't know what your philosophical outlook is. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Unclear, these days.]] *Pause.* [[He'd take notes and think on them if you had more lectures.]] Swoop :V VProwl Hm. I said more in that reply then I generally like to say in a week. Swoop *laughs his ass off at this guy getting his faces smashed* *laughs so hard he ends up squeaking* ItsyBitsySpyers *Points.* [[That was a valiant death.]] VProwl It was. Tarantulas *oh dear. oh. dear* ItsyBitsySpyers *....Slow head tilt.* Blaster -keeping face covered- ItsyBitsySpyers [[And that's. New.]] Swoop *is not even remotely getting what is happening here, just playing with his toes between fight scenes* Omicron ((aaaand this is why aliens of all kinds are scared of how humans give birth)) Smokescreen w what is this ItsyBitsySpyers [[........What is THAT?]] Prowl *this movie is going to make Prowl think human reproduction is even worse than it actually is* ItsyBitsySpyers *Fascinated. Not quite as much as he is by the xenomorphs. But it's an interesting... mutation? Is that what it is?* Tarantulas *sad noises* ItsyBitsySpyers *Manages not to say anything aloud. If Tarantulas is touching him, though, he'll get a wave of shock and sadness.* Swoop *has not even remotely been payign enough attention for this but he chirps back when the baby does* It bite! ItsyBitsySpyers *And then concern.*

@T: [[Tell him you are not at risk for any of - of that.]] VProwl ((well his son DID almost kill him)) Tarantulas *startles, then almost laughs aloud* @SW: ::Primus - Primus no.:: VProwl *startles when Tarantulas startles.* Tarantulas *soothes prowl with pets* Blaster -peers at screen again- VProwl *startles again* Swoop *starts slowly rolling around the floor again, he's a baby bird on a mission, not clear what the mission is but BY GOD is he going to roll for it* Smokescreen ... /Looking over and pinging Tarantulas again when he hears sad spider sounds./ Tarantulas *more pets, that totally works right* VProwl *now that he knows to expect them he just holds very still.* Blaster -COVERS face again- ItsyBitsySpyers *Well, at least he knows how to terrify this Blaster if it ever comes to that.* @T: [[Are you *certain?*]] Blaster -that's mean Soundwave- Swoop *bumps into a chair* Tarantulas *pings smokey reassurance, then back to sw* @SW: ::I'm quite certain, yes.:: ItsyBitsySpyers [[It really must be more careful with its toys.]] Blaster -isn't going to check this time- ItsyBitsySpyers [[Though he must say he does not care for the changes the excess human genetic material brings. It's less... clean looking. Even the hive material changed. Like flesh instead of shell.]] Smokescreen Man- that xenomorph looks WAY creepier VProwl "Clean looking"? Swoop *laughs cause he can guess what is coming* Tarantulas *oh poor thing, tarantulas feels awful for the look it gave her* VProwl The typical ones are made of drool. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Perhaps. But it is drool on a smooth and segmented surface.]] Swoop Ewwww!! *is DELIGHTED* ItsyBitsySpyers [[....How terrible.]] Swoop KAHAHA CHUNKS! Smokescreen ... Man, they really draw out the really upset noises Tarantulas At least it didn't last too terribly long. Swoop Dead! VProwl ((WOW that was a lot worse than i was expecting it to be)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((are you ok???)) VProwl ((yeah im ok)) Swoop ((that is one of the gnarliest on screen deaths ever imo)) Prowl *Prowl opted to not ask for visuals tonight and feels like she made the right choice* Blaster -peers at screen again- Swoop *is absolutely all grins and sunshine after that level of gore* VProwl ((oh, prowl offered her a feed at the start of the movie)) ItsyBitsySpyers [[....Poor creature.]] Omicron ((it was bad x.x)) VProwl ((i guess we'll say it wasn't accepted??)) Smokescreen Why do humans make this kinda thing so much? Swoop What thing? Prowl ((go for it, i must have missed it since I have 8 million tabs open atm ItsyBitsySpyers [[Even if it was a strange alternative to its predecessors.]] Smokescreen All this gory slag. Swoop Gore is AWESOME It BEST thing :V Smokescreen I mean, I'd be pretty good if I didn't have to see if for another million years! Tarantulas Yes, it didn't quite deserve that sort of death. And to be betrayed by one it thought its mother... Blaster ...not like I needed to recharge tonight.... ItsyBitsySpyers [[You'll get more work done, Blaster. Cheer up.]] [[...Well, it shouldn't have terminated the one who WAS its mother.]] Smokescreen Sounds- I'm still pretty exhausted, can I recharge on your couch? Blaster -huffs- Prowl There was a great deal of unnecessary termination in this film. ItsyBitsySpyers [[No recharging on his couch. If you require a space to rest, there are inns in New Praxus.]] Swoop *pulls out a datapad from subspace and pokes here, there, and everywhere until he finds some pictures of what happens when you don't respect the coffin corner and get your goddamn wings ripped off* *holds up the datapad in front of Smokescreen's face* Smokescreen . . . I don't think I can get up, Soounds, that's the problem. Prowl Are you all right? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...........Did you phase yourself into his couch.]]

((mark time: 10: 15)) Smokescreen I'm fine! I'm fine! Just kinda drained. ... Only a little. I can phase myself out after I rest for a bit. Swoop *hears screaming on screen just in time to catch the chicken going at the guy and LOSES IT* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Just. Just take the couch with you.]] Prowl I can cut him out of it. Smokescreen sounds I don't even I can get up with the couch prowl nooooo Swoop *gasps* Me Swoop can help! *flexes claws* Blaster .... Smokescreen /Smokescreen's turning the phase shifter on, and is starting to sink into the couch./ Smokescreen /Draining his energon a bit more, but he told Swoop he's a ghost, and he's sticking to it./ VProwl *mumbles* Don't give away your furniture. Swoop ((this baby is literally swoop)) ((people screaming no, him rockking back and forth to do the thing)) Tarantulas (( at least he KINDA did listen ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks at Prowl and just makes a frustrated hand motion at Smokescreen.* [[What is he supposed to do, let the mech stay here overnight?]] Swoop Me Swoop can get. Me Swoop can DROP outside! SMASH. Then Smokescreen fall out : > Smokescreen No, no no no, Swoop. It'll be fine. Look! VProwl He said he'd pull himself out. Omicron ((send him to dreaded wings and give smokey a shock?)) Smokescreen /With the phase shifter on, he's rolling himself out, just kinda lying on the floor. He's not stuck, though!/ Prowl Hm. Swoop *snickers and scampers around Smokescreen on all fours* Smokescreen swooooop please Swoop Hi : > Smokescreen Hiiii Swoop- you want candy again? ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks from Prowl to Smokescreen and back.*

[[How did any of the Autobots deal with yours. Please. Any hints at all.]] Swoop Her Bird like candy! Blaster ....was that a chicken? ItsyBitsySpyers [[No, that's a sheep.]] VProwl Ours isn't anything like that. Smokescreen ... pfpff Blaster ow ItsyBitsySpyers [[In that case, is there a way to officially take your Soundwave's place.]] VProwl Last I heard he was on Earth trying to lead the Decepticons with Galvatron. I wouldn't recommend it. Swoop *places both of his palms squarely on the floor and rolls himself up into a handstand* *straightens up and grins* *ta da* Swoop ((look its' swoop)) Blaster ...I'm....going to go now Smokescreen /He's honestly starting to fall into recharge on the floor. Using the phase shifter does drain him after a while!/ ItsyBitsySpyers [[We can send that one away. He'll change his paint job and tell everyone the med bay ran out of replacement armor after a battle.]] *Polite applause for Swoop.* VProwl *huff* Have fun working with humans. Swoop *curls up enough to spring up and flip onto his feet* *DRAMATIC bow* ItsyBitsySpyers *Shudders.* [[He'll take Smokescreen.]] Prowl ((i assume she won Swoop *is less than impressed by the audience he has here* ...... *griiiiiiiiiiiins* Blaster G'night -up and leaving- Swoop *DASHES over to smack Tara's shoulder but doesn't stick around, SPRINTING for the door instead* Blaster ((thanks for the stream and nightmares ItsyBitsySpyers ((you're welcome. try to sleep well, for real)) *Manages to catch Swoop with a bridge anyway. How d'you like them apples.* Tarantulas *looks infinitely offended by this assault, almost enough to get up and run after swoop, but thinks better of it and just curses for a moment* Smokescreen /Smokescreen would clap, but he really did doze off. It might work to just throw Smokescreen into a bridge./ Swoop *A VALIANT EFFORT WAS MADE and he shrieks with laughter all the way out* Prowl I think I'll be leaving now. Good night... everyone. ItsyBitsySpyers *He's in a mood because of the queen's fate, so Smokescreen gets a bridge. And so does his own Prowl, because why not.* Prowl *...well, that saved her a drive* VProwl Good n— *... and then she's gone.* Smokescreen /He'll have to thank Soundwave for the bridge later!/ Prowl *her mood's been down since the Swoop incident earlier, so getting back to Praxus quicker is probably for the best* VProwl ... What did she do to deserve that? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Nothing. He thought she might not want to run into Swoop if he came back.]] *Tap tap.* [[That, and he prefers to keep her on her toes.]] Omicron ((*waves* I'm gonna duck out, the end of the movie was fun 😊 have to try and work on icy's first plot thing on the blog)) VProwl ((*waves* good luck with plot)) Tarantulas Rude, but helpful. Omicron ((thank you! anyone is welcome to pop over for it)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((thank you for being here! good luck!!)) Prowl ((good luck! Smokescreen ((hope plot goes well : o! Tarantulas *is clinging to prowl a little more now that there aren't so many people there, if it's permitted* VProwl *it's permitted.* *... relaxes marginally.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Congratulations on officially dating, by the way.]] VProwl *stiffly* Thanks. Tarantulas *huffs, strangely awkward* I - thank you, I suppose? It seems like an odd thing to give congratulations for. ItsyBitsySpyers *...Wow. Prowl really IS nervous about having to be the one to tell others, isn't he.*

[[He doesn't see why.]] VProwl It's not something you talk about in polite company. ... Wasn't, anyway. I suppose that's more... lax, now. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He hasn't been polite company for roughly twelve and a half million years.]] *Soft huffing.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[In any case, we all know of our mutual interests, and have acted on them in the past. He isn't going to be scandalized by it. Or tell others, if that is what either of you think. That is your business. And you two already know about yourselves.]] VProwl I know, I know. It just... sounds like a threat. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He assures you it isn't.]] [[We as a species have come close to death. It is a wonder there are enough of us to find anyone we consider compatible, and pleasing that the both of you have.]] VProwl I know it's not. But it sounds like one. Tarantulas *did u hear that. sw thinks they're compatible, tarantulas is so pleased* VProwl *soundwave thinks they think they're compatible.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Actually, he said 'consider compatible', which is another ball game. He's worried that they're going to burn each other up. But that's what waiting and watching and being ready to either accept or murder is for.* Tarantulas *please don't murder the spide* ItsyBitsySpyers [[How would you have preferred he say it? And do not say that you prefer he didn't. He has, and he would again, if only to the both of you.]] *Head tilt. Genuinely curious.* VProwl ... You can't ask a question and then rule out the answer. Tarantulas *soft snort* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He can if he is interested in a wording change and not one of intent.]] VProwl *annoyed huff.* I'm not answering on the grounds that it would come across as a recommendation rather than an admission that one particular bit of wording is a lesser evil. I don't want a smaller negative willfully misconstrued as a positive. Tarantulas *considering prowl, then sw* It's... also difficult to reword something that by its very nature is perceived as a threat to mention, one should think. ItsyBitsySpyers [[As you wish, then.]]

*Looks to Tarantulas.* [[He does not think so. Plenty of mechs think hearing that he will be waiting for them later that night is a threat. He's reworded it successfully several times in his personal life.]] *A poor attempt to lighten the mood some, but an attempt nonetheless.* VProwl *huff* Tarantulas *snrk* It does depend on the context. ItsyBitsySpyers *Well. At least he got a small laugh out of them.* Tarantulas *tarantulas doesn't mind the congrats, but if it discomfits prowl, he's not going to go against prowl's arguments, naturally* *...nuzzles at prowl* VProwl *permits it, but doesn't relax into it.* Tarantulas *slightly sad visor* VProwl *now he feels uncomfortable AND guilty* Tarantulas *nooooo* ...Is there something on your mind, Prowl? *just in case it's not the dating thing* VProwl Other than this? No. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Would it help if he turned his attention elsewhere for a short while?]] VProwl ... No? Tarantulas Nono, do stay here. *lightly grabs onto whatever he's nearest* VProwl *why would that help* ItsyBitsySpyers *Head to the other side. Doesn't quite understand. If being seen by someone else brings tension, and his words have brought more, then wouldn't a temporary shift of focus free them from the public eye, so to speak?* VProwl *no, the public eye is everywhere all around them, and soundwave looking away for a moment isn't going to change the fact that prowl's now naked and he's just waiting for all of cybertron to notice* ItsyBitsySpyers *Lets Tarantulas grab his arm. Mostly because he didn't even feel it. Arms need more pressure than that to register on more than one or two sensors.* [[Then perhaps a subject change?]] VProwl Very well. Why did you think I have a percentage for where I'd stop trying to save a life? *that's been bugging him* Tarantulas *hm, is curious about this too* ItsyBitsySpyers *He's /almost/ sorry they said not to move. This music is infectious and his every wire sings with wanting to move. But he's sat still through worse.*

[[In the scenario proposed? The result waiting at the end of that particular potential failure. A simple problem of a ship about to crash is one thing. Being burst apart from inside the... what do humans call their...]]

*Draws stripes over his chest with his fingers for a second, thinking.*

[[Rib kennel. It seems more merciful.]] [[Below a certain percentage, at least.]] VProwl Hm. VProwl If THEY asked for a quicker, more painless death—below a certain percentage, I would consider helping them arrange that. If they were still fighting—if they still WANTED to fight—I would have no right to take that from them. Tarantulas *snicker* Chest. Generally referred to as chest. VProwl Unless it was to kill one infected to save the others. But that's not the scenario you presented. ItsyBitsySpyers *Glance at Tarantulas.* [[The internal supports, not the meat.]] Tarantulas Ribcage, then. VProwl *tarantulas is so smart. just listen to him.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Takes a moment to think about that. Then shakes his head.* [[No, no. Cages are where you keep dangerous things that must not get loose. Kennels are where important things that must be protected are kept.]] VProwl I'd trust the expertise of the mech who reformatted his alt-mode into an earthling. Tarantulas Don't argue with me how it ought to be named - I wasn't the one who decided their terminology, hyeh. ItsyBitsySpyers [[His chosen earthling has no bones.]] Tarantulas I'm glad you do know THAT, though. Some humans don't even know that much. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He isn't surprised.]] ItsyBitsySpyers [[Where were we. Percentages, rights...]] *Rewind memory.* [[Killing the infected. Then you would have terminated the one with the spawn in him?]] Tarantulas They DID think of a plan to preserve his life without ending theirs, though. VProwl Not immediately. I would have gotten an estimate from the expert on how long it would take to emerge, and kill him either if we got too close to that deadline or found that there was a vanishingly low probability that we'd be able to get him to somebody who would actually extract the alien and keep him alive. Not as a mercy killing, but to protect everyone else—Earth included. ItsyBitsySpyers *Privately, Soundwave does not believe he'd take that risk. Not for anyone but eight of the mechs in the building.*

*...After Tarantulas' point and Prowl's decision, he's not sure he should mention that.* Tarantulas *tarantulas wouldn't mind tbh* VProwl ... He'd probably have to die, though. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He did do that.]] [[And far more bravely than any of those without.]] VProwl No, I meant—I'd probably have calculated that, yes, he should be terminated before the alien finished developing. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Ah.]]

*...You know what, he's going to say it. Prowl knows who he is. If after all this time he expects Soundwave to think exactly like him, he has another think coming. Tarantulas, he's still not sure what to believe. Probably that Tarantulas would keep the human alive just to get the xenomorph out and start the breeding experiments over again.*

[[...Were there an equivalent creature for our kind, he would have had that Cybertronian terminated on the spot.]] Tarantulas *mutters something about not having to have killed him if he were around because he could have operated on him there on the spot* VProwl Mm. Less optimistic, but... given these things' record, not imprudent.

*nudges tara. ur right, but that's not part of the game.* Tarantulas *nudges him back, shh* ItsyBitsySpyers [[They were already outnumbered. And frightened beings make poor decisions. They get separated. The instant that host disappears from sight, for however long, they are effectively another enemy waiting to be discovered. Slaughtering them would preserve the chances we already had and be sure to reduce the maximum number of opponents.]] [[But... he admits that his thoughts are colored by lessons he was forced to learn against his will.]] *Namely, the arena.* VProwl Hmm. As I said: not imprudent. Tarantulas Not unwise, yes. With so many unknown variables, I do think the choice is a debatable one, instead of a fixed yes or no. Awfully subjective. ItsyBitsySpyers *Nods. He wanted to be sure Prowl knew WHY, and not just... internally react to that concept like your average Autobot.* VProwl *oh, he knew why: the same reason he'd consider the same option.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Just because you understand something doesn't mean you don't revile it, after all. Right, Prowl?* VProwl *detests calling it "subjective," but it's not worth arguing semantics.* Tarantulas *fair fair* ItsyBitsySpyers *Settles back into the couch and folds his hands on his lap. Stares at the wall.*

[[...The Queen did not have to perish, though. That was nothing but ingratitude and fantasy. As if such a being would consider a human a superior organic.]] VProwl Sure she had to perish. She was as much a threat to the humans as any of the other aliens. More of a threat, even, because she has the means to produce more. Tarantulas It was a first test-run - of course it was faulty and unpredictable. Unfortunate that it did kill the queen, but... VProwl ... Oh. We've stopped talking about saving the humans. Got it. ItsyBitsySpyers [[The ship was going to crash regardless, and her spawn had no reason to slaughter her. They might have lived in the nest until such time as the ship hit the planet. Instead, it followed the humans, killed more of them, and suffered.]] ItsyBitsySpyers *Thinks that IS talking about saving the humans.* VProwl *it's drifted out of the realm of controllable actions the humans and/or allies could have affected* ItsyBitsySpyers *Okay, yes, it's done that. But what do you want from him. He admires what he admires.* [[...He wonders if the mechs who reproduce via gestation chamber instead of other methods suffer from the same problems.]] Tarantulas Which same problems? VProwl I haven't /heard/ of any of them being nearly killed by their offspring. And I'd think they'd be less pleased to reproduce if that were a known risk. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Well, you wouldn't, would you? They'd be too dead to tell you.]] VProwl I said "nearly." As in the ones that survived to tell the tale. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Oh. Oh, yes.]] *Looks at Tarantulas and nods his head at Prowl. Those problems.* [[Plenty of Earth animals perish after reproducing. Octopuses, for example. No reason other fleshlings or some mechs wouldn't.]] [[Though he thinks it's a waste of good octopuses. A design flaw of some sort. One of their only ones.]] Tarantulas Hm. I've heard of mecha being offlined by complications while carrying, but not by being intentionally murdered by their sparkling. And the complications certainly aren't common. VProwl What sort of complications? ItsyBitsySpyers *Listening attentively to the answer to that question* Tarantulas Undue strain on the carrier's spark, sometimes because they're carrying more than one sparkling, or other times when they've not consumed enough to support both their life and the sparkling's, or... well. Those sorts of things. OH. Oh. You said - gestation tanks. What am I thinking. Well, it's similar, anyhow. ItsyBitsySpyers *Alarm* [[What do you mean, consumed enough to support both?]] [[How much does it require?]] Tarantulas More than the usual amount of matter, certainly. It depends on the health of the carrier and the sparktypes of both carrier and offspring. Tarantulas ...Among other things, of course. ItsyBitsySpyers *Great. Now he's gotta intensify his concerns about energon shortages on planets where that's the main or only way left to revive Cybertron. Because that problem wasn't difficult enough.* Tarantulas Ah! *sad noises* I - I ought to go. As much as I'd adore continuing this conversation, I do have business to attend to, sooner rather than later, preferably. *snuggles prowl close* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Yes. Yes, of course. He did not intend to keep you from it.]] VProwl *... attempts very poorly to reciprocate the snuggle. does a bad job of it.* *awkward waist pat.* Tarantulas *at least he tried* *he gets a smooch before tarantulas gets up tho* I'll see the two of you soon, I'm sure. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He looks forward to it.]] VProwl *that sounds like a threat.* Tarantulas *everything tara & sw say could probably be perceived as a threat if you look at it the right way, tbh* VProwl *more of a threat than usual* Tarantulas *it's not, tara promises* VProwl *he'll take it on faith* Tarantulas *good, thanks prowl. but now tara's off - gnight!* VProwl *watches him go.* *... doesn't scoot closer to soundwave once he's gone.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks in the space between them, then up. The mental voice is on the gentler, quieter side. More of a murmur in the back of the mind than a voice chattering in the front of it.*

[[...If you do not want to touch him, you need not do so. But he will always do his best to ensure no mech harms you as long as he is with you, and he...]]

[[What he told Tarantulas two years ago is true.]] [[If you would prefer to be in your own home, he understands and does not mind. If you prefer to be here, but separated, he will enjoy simply sharing a space. If you wish to be here and touching somehow, he will enjoy that as well.]] VProwl *... puzzled look.* You told Tarantulas that two years ago? *Soundwave and Tarantulas weren't friendly two years ago.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Told him what?]]

*Puzzled look. He didn't define anything.* VProwl The whole be-in-your-own-home thing. Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers *Stares even more blankly than is normal for him and his featureless mask, then leans back against the couch arm and bobs like a cork on a fishing line.*

[[No, no.]]

*Soundwave searches his files for the exact text. Where is...* ItsyBitsySpyers *Up pop a bunch of glyphs in what he considers a soothing blue.*

(txt): Soundwave trusts Prowl saves Soundwave’s life, if Soundwave’s life not least valuable option. ItsyBitsySpyers [[And he doubts this will come up anywhere that he wouldn't also agree that he was the least valuable option.]] VProwl *HUFF. that's an interesting "if."* ItsyBitsySpyers *It's an honest one. Prowl's going to do what's for the greatest good. If that means someone or something else gets to live, fine. And that will suit Soundwave's goal, too. If not, he doesn't believe Prowl will leave him hanging.* VProwl *... scoots a little closer. not touching-closer, but closer. still no relaxing.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Affection ping. Settles down into his seat and lets his frame hum with contentment. He's fine to stay that way if Prowl wants.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Though it means he has free mental space to devote to scheming.... but never mind that right now.*

[kaisooficrec]

hello sweet peaches! 

this is an extremely long list so we’ve decided to put them under the cut. yes, we’ve counted, and there’s 75+ bottomsoo fics listed, and they’re all from 2016 and after! so… without further ado!

anti-climax - honestly still one of my favourite bottomsoo smut ever. kyungsoo has never experienced an orgasm, and jongin’s gonna change that.

rookie boy - fuck me up real good, shy dom!jongin

backslide - kyungsoo is sexually frustrated bc all the dates he goes on end up with bad sex… so who better to call than his ex boyfriend jongin?

shades of green - !!! daddy kink with older!nini. jongin gets jealous when an old friend gets a lil too touchy with his soo + humiliation kink ohoho yes

velvet dreams - i really love this fic! the writing is amazing, i love the emotions conveyed, especially kyungsoo’s insecurities 

pose for me - model jongin and insecureish ksoo who also becomes a model to spend more time with jongin

translucent you - WET KAISOO need i say more /eye emoji/

love is - kyungsoo basically rides jongin until he cries (i cried too)

iNK - incubus!jongin with an obsession for high schooler!soo (warnings: bloodplay)

love in control - bdsm! kyungsoo goes on the internet to find someone (/coughs/ jongin ofc) to satisfy his particular needs~

come as you are - this is so cute omg, a werewolf/vampire relationship that kaisoo needs to hide from everyone

i am happy when i am with you - abo verse, cute friends to lovers fic where they’re quite unaware of each other’s feelings smh + jongin offers to spend kyungsoo’s heat with him :~)

drawing you - jongin, a fine arts student, draws kyungsoo for his project

i’ll heal you when you’re sick - non au, kyungsoo “takes care” of jongin when he gets sick

a simple life - two broken hearts heal with each other, this is stunnin (warnings: slight dubcon, master/slave)

autumn warmth - sequel to one eyed hue, crossdressing!jongin, queen aistehtik out here breaking gender roles

tifu… by sending nudes to my boss - fuck. yes. the title speaks for itself ;) but mmmm the jongin bicep appreciation in this gets me going

if you allow me - kyungsoo moves into a new apartment and his roommates are… weird. age switch, age gap and bloodplay (hek yes)

sweet against your lips - coffeeshop!au, jongin spills coffee on kyungsoo’s crotch and offers to clean it up :~)

on your knees (pretty please) - LISTEN this fucked me up so good oh my god, now THIS is a Powerbottom Fic. ksoo commanding jongin i just.. holy–

spellbound - kyungsoo goes to a strip club and meets jongin, and then starts seeing him a lot more frequently out of the club

body moves (yeah, just a little bit) - model!soo stylist!jong, wild n passionate sex. if you like this, read the sequel: come on home with me (baby, let it loose) (it’s topsoo!)

love is (for walls) - policeman!jongin gets late for their anniversary and has to pay the price + powerbottom kyungsoo, handcUFFS, barebacking… heck me up  

need you now - cute flustered ksoo buying condoms with his boyfriend for the good times

provocative - kyungsoo has sex with sex god jongin on a dare. absolutely gorgeous writing, the smut scene is poetic. 

deliver my pizza - slight!crack, kyungsoo has a pizza delivery boy kink and guess who gets roped up into roleplaying? 

lamborghini mercy - (warnings: dubcon) kyungsoo works at a car wash and has a crush on rich!nini who rolls in on his laaaaaaaaamb

sins of the flesh - we cannot go without reccing hobash. kyungsoo finds a video of his teammate on a pornsite.

First Times Are Always Awkward, Right? - powerbottom soo (warnings: this is highschool au so they’re both underage)

Can’t Sleep - ksoo is cute and whiny and jongin calls him baby 

Body (guard) - bodyguard!jong, kyungsoo drinks an aphrodisiac akdkalja slight!crack 

Talkative Actions - powerbottom ksoo and awk jong, this is so sweet!!

Like water, we combine - shower sex, domestic, this is purely pwp 

Spaghetti Kiss - non au where jongin is jealous of kyungsoo’s spaghetti kiss w kwangsoo (inspired by that running man ep!)

Kiss You Inside Out - stress relief fluffy smut

Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you - ex!boyfriends, dirty talk

Birthday Sex - well yes bday sex :-) the sexual tension though :o

(First time?) Meeting - they met online and sext and send nudes but dont know they’re bffs irl hmmm

Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you- - exes!kd but they end up having a passionate sex anyway....:--)

you've got the healing that i want - prom night but they get bored! maybe a round in their car will do right~

kristhaswaggerdad’s entire fucking collection (pun totally intended ohoho): getting it on - with toys ;)

             partition (glamorous) - ceo!jongin + car sex 

             here and now - abo verse

from kadi-centred fic fests:

no one dies this time: 

aurora - abo verse, kyungsoo is sent to alpha!jongin for protection and um the lovemaking is intense okay

caught in a comet’s tail - alien/intergalactic/tribal(ish) au, jongin comes from a planet where his tribe is dying and ksoo wants to save him

give in to me - i remember clicking this link so hard when i read the desc the first time i saw it. anyway, ex-boyfriends kaisoo get stuck in an elevator + riding!soo

like gravity - i love this fic so much honestly (psssst it’s got elevator sex)

lips like warm coffee - ex-boyfriends kaisoo spend 7 minutes in heaven :~) (ngl tho i got triggered when ji said “hello mr do”) 

love me - kyungsoo is a very sweet, loving and understanding boyf but then again are we even surprised? (warnings: mentions of depression, will make you hurt in the best way)

mr and mr kim - mr and mrs. smith!au, remember that rough sex scene in the movie? yep. ‘nuff said. 

overtaken - the sex scene is short but as per the third ask, the writing is good and it’s a really fun story + it is bottomsoo lol

put your venom in me - one of my fave dystopian!au where any “reckless” behaviour is banned. it’s both topsoo and bottomsoo; switching is perfectly common and healthy c:

summer snapdragons - the writing is INCREDIBLE, and i am still shook to my core. kyungsoo works as a barista for ceo!jongin (warnings: age gap and age switch)

will you stay with me - LISTEN THIS IS TWD!AU and ya’ll gotta know admin i is the biggest heux for anything with zombies!!!! kaisoo are amazing characters written with such depth, and the entire story is lit give it a chance please (warnings: gore, violence, minor character death, mentions of depression)

you know you love me - !!! gossip girl au for everyones fave gg otp but with kaisoo aka heaven (warnings: slight homophobia, minor character death, drunk!sex, mentions of depression)

10kfrp:

cosmic love - this is so beautiful! kyungsoo falls in love with the native from another planet :’) + JONGIN HAS PINK HAIR WITH FLOWERS IN IT 

dearly departed - they make sweet love on top of a bus in the middle of a zombie apocalypse

forkadionly:

campaigning for your heart - one of the funniest enemies to lovers fics! it’s politics au where kaisoo support different candidates + it’s powerbottom!soo

convoluted desires - war!au, jongin loses his bestfriend seungsoo in the war and he’s broken, when he goes to a brothel he meets seungsoo’s younger brother soo

cosmic fire - a personal fave from fko! the worldbuilding in this is amazing. (warnings: interspecies sex, technically)

hands on you - not very smutty but the author will hit you with that daddy kink outta nowhere hooo boy

locked in love - prison!au, they meet e/o there (prison sex omg)

retrograde motion - long ass incredibly written mama au with some sweet sweet loving? sign me tf up

starboy - omg space enthusiast soo is so cute in this!! and um jongin killed me with his ‘baby boy’ right outta nowhere. a beautiful coming of age type of fic! 

that would be enough - doctor au, both are career driven especially jong but then they start to drift apart and ksoo fears that ji will leave him one day

you are my spring - kaisoo’s relationship blossoms like spring time! (warnings: mentions of depression and anxiety)

And If Skies Could Speak - camp/scout au, soo is there and not allowed to go ‘outside’ the borders, then he meets someone who shows him the place turns out that someone has been smitten with him since day 1 hh

best days of our lives:

kyungsoo’s vitamin d - pure pwp oh my lord. powerbottom cockslut kyungsoo + riding!soo. this will for sure quench your thirst.  

secret’s untold - oh lordy lord the body worship!!! kyungsoo is a fairy (in heat) and he gives off a sweet smell ;) but fr this is wow okay  

rock-a-bye baby - domestic kaisoo smut, they do it in a newly built treehouse for their kids shame on them

rumours - jongin is a mafia leader, and blackmails kyungsoo 

when you say nothing at all - read the warnings, mafia au, ksoo is sad bc jong has always a bunch of pretty girls over but jong actually likes him

you’re all i have - pure pwp once more i’m yelling!! jongin’s lap is kyungsoo’s throne ;) 

bottomsoo fics from other fic fests:

midnight calling - fantasy, horror, (read warnings), i thought this fic was hauntingly beautiful, please do give this a try!

spur of the moment - from do-itall! and yells i’m getting size queen vibes from this /eye emoji/ plus there’s rimming and hung!jongin ohoho

and here are previously answered reqs on our blog with bottomsoo! happy reading lovelies!! (a special shoutout to everyone who thinks we’re apparently topsoo blog or something. though, y’know, we love topsoo too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

KFR admins ♡