#like a really really sad version of harry meets sally

[pollyna]

sooo your "mav asks ice to call him when he thinks it's time" post absolutely KILLED me, especially with the not actually unrequited love tags, please tell about their not actually unrequited feelings in this scenario (aka basically canon)

Hi anon🐊, originally that tag wasn't going to be there but two hours after writing the post I realised half of the tags weren't actually there and the not actually unrequited felt appropriate.

(The post anon is talking about: here.)

Canon Icemav is the definition of almost, in my poor head: they are enemies, then they work together and fall in love, and then thirty-six years have passed and Iceman is dying and Mav is going to be alone again. I wrote a post about Tom marrying Sarah and the reasons why, but Tumblr is stupid, so: it's a platonic marriage because Tom wants to become Admiral, Sarah wants to study but her father says no because you're a woman, and they meet outside a queer club in New York and marry three months later. ( found it!) She knows he's gay and in love with this man, whom he calls Mav with the sweetest of tones, and he knows she wouldn't want sex with anybody or would particularly miss all the shebang of falling in love. Mav doesn't know about the marriage, and when he comes back from deployment, everybody is talking about how pretty Kazansky's wife is, and it broke his heart in a million pieces because a) Ice didn't tell him he was getting married; b) Mav has finally mastered the courage to tell him he is in love with him. That time Mav sees Sarah but not Ice, and now Ice thinks Mav hates him and doesn't give him the time to explain or to properly introduce Sarah. They see each other a couple of times in the three following years until one night when Mav is back at their home and Sarah is there but not Tom, and this time Mav actually enters the house, and he's so confused because why two bedrooms? Why is she not wearing a ring? Sarah sits him down and explains the whole thing to him and even says fuck Thomas is so in love with you it's embarrassing sometimes. Mav stays at the house for the whole week while waiting for Tom to be back from deployment, but he doesn't because they need him out there for another week and Pete is shipped out for the rest of the year. They don't get the chance to talk. If the first time it was because of a 'fake' wife and the second was for work, maybe the universe doesn't really want them together. Not that he really believes it but then it happens a third and a fourth time, Mav is in a place, Ice is going to get to him and the plane broke, it's a storm, Ice&Slider's jet get shoot down just behind enemy lines and they never seriously talk. Or vice versa. When they finally see each other for more than three days straight, almost a decade has passed, Pete is with Penny again, and how can they talk about them when there isn't a them? Especially since he appears to be so serious this time with Penny, not thinking about marriage or a house, but still serious. Mav is serious enough that when Penny breaks up with him, Mav spends four days in Ice's bed commiserating and asking himself, Sarah, and Tom what he did wrong. He says, when they are both getting ready to bed, that loving you has never been this complicated or painful. Tom cuddles him extra strongly that night, and before he falls asleep, he even answer yeah, being in love with you never makes me sad.

The worst thing is that everybody knows they're in love with each other since back then, and Tom&Pete talk about it often enough to be considered that they have the conversation™️ but they don't move from there. Slider almost punches both of them in the face because they're actually dancing together in the middle of a club during a navy's night and Mav is begging Ice to not go this time and they're crying and kissing, but Ice leaves the morning after and Mav is making another Admiral pissed and they're both almost forty and it's painful to watch.

Mav is the first one to know about the cancer. Ice invites him out, a date, for a slice of cake in their favourite bakery, and drops the bomb. Mav almost chokes on the pie and takes all the leave he can for that year. Sell the house and move in with Tom and Sarah and he is there for every single treatment, visits, meds, insomnia and hair loss. He's there and hugs Ice as tight as he can because some nights it seems like he's already dead and Mav can't stand it again. He lost Goose and then Carole, not even five years ago, and now Ice? Not if he can do something. Mav is there for the operation and the scar, and Tom, who wants to die because someday the pain is so strong that not even morphine works. The recovery is slow, but his leave is ending and he has to go back out there. Tom let him go because he doesn't want to resent him for taking away his wings. They leave each other with murmured words and a see you soon, love. And it seems like things are finally taking the road they were always supposed to, until they aren't and Mav comes back with more nightmares and PTSD than he knows what to do with, and he almost disappears for an entire year. Maverick is back again before the cancer, and Ice is okay with it. It breaks his heart, but Maverick is going to therapy, and the only thing that matters is that he's going to be okay. They have time.

It's 2011 and Ice has almost three stars on his uniform, he survived cancer, and he was part of the team that worked to eliminate DADT. Sarah asks for divorce the day after because Tom deserves to be free and Sarah wants the same. For the first time in almost twenty years, they can just be. It's going to be okay, they're fine and Tom's hands shake a little when he calls Mav to know if they're going to spend his next leave together. Mav says he's going to stay where he is and nah, maybe they can see each other another time. 2011 becomes 2012 and with 2013 comes Bradley in the form of a very angry adult, screaming and demanding answers Ice can't give him, not the one he wanted. This time Tom goes to see Pete in some boom-fuck post in Sri Lanka and they spend almost another year together, but without really being together. It isn't the most happy of the years they spent in each other's presence because it's a constant fight about every single little thing, and nobody is talking about the two big elephants in the room that are getting bigger and bigger year after year. The day before Ice is called back, Mav says I love you and Tom answers, I love you too, Pete.

After that, years seem to accumulate without either of them realising it because they are calling, texting, and sharing each other's lives from different places in the world. 2015 becomes 2016 and before they realise it is December 2020, Ice passes out during a meeting. Sarah is at the hospital when he wakes up, and when the doctor says it's back, Ice doesn't know what to say. This time around, Tom waits to say a single word to Maverick because it's difficult to wrap his head around what is happening, let alone say it aloud. He has at some point because his voice is becoming less and less strong every day and he knows too well that the next time Mav is going to be around, he won't probably have the strength to say much. Sarah calls Pete, and the treatments start again, stronger than the first time and less and less effective. Pete is flying jets, making friends, going to therapy, spending weekends with them and trying to make the most of all the time they have. Every time Mav goes back to his house, Tom signs I love you to him, but Mav doesn't understand. It doesn't matter really, because Mav says it's back on his skin every time they hug, it doesn't say a letter but his lips move to form the word.

The last week of treatment doesn't work, and it's just another treatment that doesn't. Ice is tired, Mav is flying supersonic jets, and Admiral Cain calls to ask for advice on who to put to work to fly the mission. Ice puts together the whole squadron in a week and puts Mav as their teacher/leader. Admiral Simpson is going to hate him and Admiral Bates is going to laugh, but the kids have to get back. It's Thursday and Mav is in front of him, and Ice feels like it's going to be the last time they see each other and probably the last time in general. They're both crying when Mav leaves the room, and Icd signs another I love you to the man who walked right by his side for all these years. Mav asks him to call when the time is going to come, but Tom knows he would never ever do such a thing. He falls asleep, and Mav flies.

(Three weeks after the mission, Mav is repeating the movements he saw Ice do for a long time when Halo asks him to whom he's saying I love you. Mav has to bite the inside of his cheek to not wail all his pain in front of his Lieutenant.)

[staticscreenwriting]

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes

One - When Harry met Sally 

Synopsis: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. Growing  up, Bucky had not a doubt in his mind that his undeniable charm and his gorgeous smile would one day help him find the one. Now he realizes there’s so much more to romancing women, especially those from the 21st century. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is not a love story. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for EP1 of TFATWS)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

“ Now in the movies they make it look so perfect And in the background they're always playing the right song And in the ending there's always a resolution But real life is more than just two hours long “

Some Avett Brothers song sounds from the little radio that sits on the corner of the counter. Thick drops of rain pearl against the window, racing each other down the glass before meeting up eventually and becoming one with each other. 

(Y/N) refills the last of the mustard bottles, setting it on the counter next to the others. It’s a quiet night at the diner. The kitchen’s been closed for an hour now and usually, that’s when people stop coming in. While the Little Blue Diner is known for their hot dogs and burgers, neither their coffee nor their cold sandwiches are gonna win any prizes any time soon. 

And yet …

Sure enough, as her eyes lift towards the figure slouched down in the corner booth, his gloved hand is already outstretched, signaling his desire for yet another refill.

A mixture between a chuckle and a scoff tumbles from her lips at the thought of him wanting more of the slightly burned liquid. If there’s one thing (Y/N) can admit to being bad at, it’s brewing coffee. Where there should be a rich brown color, hers usually ends up with an inky black hue and instead of leaving a hint of warm caramelization on your tongue hers just tastes bitter. It doesn’t seem to face the man in the corner though. Not even a little bit. To say this worries her is a bit of an understatement. No one in their right mind would take 7 refills of her witch's brew.

“ You okay, my dude ? “ (Y/N) inquires as she steps up to his table, coffee pot in hand. 

The man doesn’t look up at her. He doesn’t have to. She’s acutely aware of the character currently occupying the corner booth. It’s a face she knows like the back of her hand. One that’s been staring at her from books and documentaries, one she’s been greeted by every time her dad took her with him to the Smithsonian. Though they do not dare look up at her, she’s so awfully familiar with the bright blue shade of his eyes, he might as well be a long-time friend. 

“ I’m fine. “ 

Of all the lies in the world, “I’m fine” must be the most unbelievable one and yet the one told most often. No one who’s actually fine ever says those words. Those two words are reserved for the lonely and broken only. It’s like getting “I’m not fine at all” tattooed across your goddamn forehead. 

“ Sure you are, that’s why you’re having the 7th refill of my god awful coffee. “ 

“ ‘s not that bad. “ 

“ Sure, if you’re into licking charcoal it’s probably not that bad. “

It’s just a split of a second, a fraction of a moment, but (Y/N) is sure she can see the corner of his lips lifting slightly. It falls back into the stoic scowl immediately but it was there. For a teeny tiny moment, there was the shadow of a smirk on his face and that’s a success in her book. 

“ Either way, here’s how we’re gonna do this. I’ll give you one last refill, after that, I’m cutting you off, my friend. I know I’m a waitress and it’s my job to bring you what you want but I do not fancy watching you suffer a caffeine-induced heart attack in this very diner. I am not equipped to handle a situation like that and quite honestly they don’t pay me enough to deal with that either. “ 

His eyes are still trained on the scratched-up white linoleum table but ever so faintly he nods his head in silent agreement. 

As promised, she pours him one last cup of coffee. A brew so dark it could rival the bubbling goo of a tar pit. 

“ Enjoy your last cup of the night, Mr. Barnes. “ 

It’s then, as she’s just about to walk back behind the counter, as those words leave her lips, that he looks up for the first time since he’s walked in. 

His eyes are the exact shade of blue she’s so familiar with but there’s something else about them. An infinite sadness haunts every spec of blue. Where she thought there would be a sparkle of adventure, a hint of mischief, there is just loneliness. This is not the man she’s read about in museums, heard about in stories. This man right here is completely and utterly lost.

“ I - I uh — “ 

He clears his throat, once, twice, then nervously brushes his hand across his face. 

“ I can go if you don’t want me here. “ 

“ Huh? “ 

“ I asked if you want me to leave. “ 

As those words escape him, his eyes seem to grow even more devastated. They glimmer with memories of a time long gone and a future uncertain. Shine with hurt and fear. 

“ Why would I ask you to leave? “ 

Bucky shrugs his shoulders in a way to make it look nonchalantly. It’s hard to seem casual though when you seem to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders. 

“ People who recognize me usually aren’t so keen on having me around. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m uh — I’m not people’s favorite person. “ 

It’s a sad thought, (Y/N) realizes, to be constantly bound to a past that is yours but never really belongs to you. To be forever linked with the horrible actions of a version of yourself you had no control over. And no matter how hard you try to set it all right and to repent for your wrongdoings, to some people it will never be enough.

“ No, you don’t have to leave, “ (Y/N) reassures before sliding into the booth opposite him. “ I don’t know you because of — because of what happened. I know you first and foremost as Sergeant Barnes, former officer of the 107th Infantry Regiment, part of the Howling Commandos, and best friend and brother to Steve Rogers. Everything else that’s — none of my business really. “ 

Bucky lifts his eyes off of the table again and while the sadness is still there, something else lingers for a moment. Curiosity, intrigue maybe, or just relief. 

“ Wow. Didn’t think I’d run into someone reciting my life to me. Huh. “ 

“ My dad used to be a curator at the Smithsonian. He was in charge of the Captain America exhibition. I’ve seen your face a million times, visiting him at work. I gotta say though, you look way more approachable and friendly on the picture they put up. “ 

This time, it’s more than a fleeting moment, this time she’s sure about it, this time he lets out an actual chuckle. 

“ I was a lot younger then, okay? Cut an old man some slack. “ 

“ Oh, you pulling the old man card now? “ 

“ Is it working? “ he asks, eyebrows raised in question. 

“ Not really. “ 

“ Ah, what a shame.” 

Silence settles upon them again like a thick duvet filled with feathers, it’s not uncomfortable but it’s smothering anyway.

“ Do you wanna talk about it? Your sour mood, I mean.” 

Bucky shrugs again “I have a therapist.” 

“ Does she make you draw your feelings? “ 

He smiles again at that question. His smile, (Y/N) thinks, ain’t the worst thing she’s ever seen. She wouldn’t mind seeing it more often.

“ No. Why? “ 

“ Mine did. She stopped pretty quickly though, I guess my drawings were too detailed and gory for her.” 

“ Huh. “ 

“ Mmmh.” 

After another sip of coffee, one he takes without grimacing, without showing any sign of disgust for the burnt brew, Bucky speaks up again.

“ Mine thinks I’m lying to her. “ 

“ Are you ?” 

“ Well yeah, but she doesn’t need to know that.” 

“ Maybe telling her the truth would help you. “ (Y/N) suggests only to be met with a determined head shake No from Bucky. 

The notification sound of a phone pulls them from their conversation and at the sight of the name on the display, Bucky lets an “oh shit” slip from his lips.

“ Don’t you sound excited about getting texts from your friends, “ (Y/N) jokes

“ I had a date last night. That’s her. “ 

“ Since she’s texting you I assume it went well. “ 

Bucky grimaces at her words, slightly shaking his head in disagreement.

“ No? “ 

“ I mean, I had fun and it went well — at first. She’s really sweet. But then we started talking and I may have run. “ 

“ Ran where? “ 

“ Away. “ 

“ Away as in you left. “ 

“ Mm-mmh” 

“ Just like that? “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ Why? “ 

He throws up his arms in frustration and shakes his head again as if to gather all his thoughts and rattle them neatly back into place. 

“ I don’t know, okay? I haven’t been on a date since the 1940s. Everything I know about women and dating and romance seems antiquated. I’m overwhelmed and confused and I just don’t wanna do anything wrong.” 

“ Dude, you ran from your date without any explanation. How much worse could you have handled it? “ 

“ Yeah well, hindsight is 20/20. “ 

While his words try to sound light and nonchalant, his shoulders tense and his whole demeanor seems to shift back into the gloomy state he’s been in since he entered the diner. Like a big cloud that’s following him around, casting shadows at all times and hardly allowing any light to shine through.

“ Look, I don’t think any of us know what the heck we’re doing half the time. Like, trust me I know what I’m talking about. Online dating means I have to choose between men who think posing with a dead fish will make me want to sleep with them, men who think knowing obscure Star Wars facts can replace having an actual personality, and men who send me pictures of their … privates without me ever giving any indication of wanting to see those. So yeah — dating can really s - be frustrating. “ 

Bucky regards her for a second, the right corner of his lips pulled into a lazy lopsided smirk.

“ Did you just censor yourself because you don’t wanna swear around me ?” 

“ Maybe, but that’s beside the point. The point is, we’re all just human and in the end, we’re all just looking for someone to like us the way we are, all quirks and issues and baggage included. I know women might seem intimidating but really all we want is to be loved and appreciated. And not the over-the-top build-you-a-house, the notebook kind of love. More like the Harry and Sally kind.“ 

(Y/N) can almost see the gears working inside Bucky’s brain, the desperate attempt to make any sense of all the words and phrases she’s just thrown at him. A jumbled mess of pop culture references swirls through his head like a swarm of bees, chaotic and messy. 

“ I have no idea what you just said. “ 

“ When Harry met Sally? “

Bucky just shrugs and shakes his head.

“ You’ve never seen it? “ 

“ I’ve been a bit preoccupied with being blipped away into oblivion for the last 5 years. So I haven’t really had the time to get into movies yet. “ 

This time it’s the gears in her own head that start turning. 

“ What are you doing Friday night ? “ she asks, biting her lip in nervous anticipation.

“ I — I don’t know. “ 

That’s a bit of a lie, really. He does know. It’s the same thing he does pretty much every other day. He gets some takeout, brings it home, sits down in front of the tv, tries to get lost in whatever show they put on, fails at doing so, reads a few pages of a book, lays down to sleep, and then wakes up a little while later to yet another nightmare, tangled up in sweaty sheets, heart racing. 

(Y/N) doesn’t need to know any of that though. He doesn’t tell his therapist so why would he tell a random stranger.

“ Well, don’t make any plans. We’re gonna kill 2 birds with 1 stone. “ 

“ We are? “ 

“ Yeah. Trust me on this one. “ 

“ I don’t even know you. “ 

“ Sure you do. “ (Y/N) says and taps the tag pinned to her baby blue polo shirt with the diner’s logo on the back.  “ I’m the one who serves you just enough coffee to keep you happy but not have you die a painful and honestly mildly embarrassing death. “ 

Every part of him screams at him to say no. To stay away from her the way he does from most other people, even Sam. To get up and get out and not cause any more damage than he already has in other people’s life. But then he remembers his therapist's words, he remembers Leah’s face full of confusion and disappointment, he remembers the empty feeling in his chest. That feeling of pure and utter loneliness. 

“ Alright, Friday works for me, (Y/N). “ 

“ Perfect, Bucky. “ 

“ Bring a jacket. “ 

The address and “Bring a jacket” that’s all she’s texted him. No explanation, no plan, nothing. 

Bucks leans against the streetlamp, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. Anxiety is washing through his system like tidal waves on a stormy ocean. This whole being spontaneous thing was much easier back in the 40s. When his shoulders weren’t so heavy with guilt. When he didn’t have to constantly face the consequences of his actions. Consequences of a past he can never quite outrun no matter how far he goes and how hard he tries. 

Maybe this is good, he has to remind himself. Getting out of his comfort zone, if that even exists for him. Opening himself up to new opportunities. Maybe even make a friend. (Y/N) seem nice enough, if a bit peculiar. 

His shrink would be proud of him. Getting out there, talking to people, being approachable. This must for sure earn him some kind of gold star equivalent in her notebook. 

“ Hey there, Mr. Grumpyface. “ 

(Y/N)'s voice cuts through the chilly New York night like headlights through thick fog. She strolls towards him, lips pulled into a big bright smile. Leading up to tonight he’s spent quite a lot of time wondering if this is some kind of project for her, if maybe she sees him as a sort of charity case. Something to earn her karma points. It wouldn’t be the first time. But the genuine joy radiating from her face lets those worries melt away instantly. 

Maybe, Bucky thinks, she really just thinks he’ll make a good friend. And maybe he can. 

“ Hi, (Y/N). “

“ You brought a jacket” she points out, pinching the black leather between her fingers. Her nails are painted in various shades of red, each finger a different hue. 

“ I did. You told me to. “

“ And you listened! “ 

“ Why wouldn’t I ? “ Bucky inquires, a look of confusion settling on his face.

“ You wouldn’t believe how many men think wearing a jacket when it’s cold out somehow clashes with their need to demonstrate their masculinity. “ 

“ Wow. “ he exclaims.

“ Yeah. So anyway, you ready to go up? “ 

She nods her head towards the house across the street. It’s a slim multiple-story brick building with rusty fire escapes. It looks like a residential lot, not much else that could give away (Y/N)’s plan for the rest of the night.

“ Up? “ 

“ Mm-mh. “ (Y/N) nods and motions towards the top of the building. “ to the roof. “ 

“ The roof? You’re not planning to push me off or anything, right? I don’t usually spend time with strangers on rooftops. “ he tells her, a smirk lifting the sides of his lips.

She grants him a smile in return. One of those that you try so hard to suppress but despite your best efforts they find their way onto your face anyway. Because some smiles demand to be smiled. And her smile is pretty cute, he thinks, it deserves to be seen. 

“ Foiled again, damn Bucky. I’m a waitress with a useless degree in literature and creative writing but assassinating you was exactly what I had planned for tonight. Couldn’t let me have that one, huh? “ 

“ Sorry to spoil all the fun. “ 

She softly bumps her shoulder against his right side as she passes him and crosses the street. Her red skirt flutters around her knees like a ribbon of fire, bright and warm and —

“ You coming, grumpy ?” 

“ Yeah uh — yeah sure. “ 

The walk upstairs is filled with chatter from her and nodding from Bucky. It’s been like this most of the time since — well since he’s really back. Other people usually do the talking and Bucky listens. It works most of the time. Works with Yori. Sometimes though, sometimes it doesn’t. He can see people getting frustrated with him. Hell his own therapist does and she knows the baggage he has to carry around. 

This is different though, (Y/N) doesn’t seem to mind much. She’s a waterfall of words and topics and doesn’t seem to get bored or annoyed with him. It’s nice. 

A heavy iron door swings open as they reach the top of the building and as soon as they step out onto the rooftop balcony they get engulfed in an ocean of lights. They’re strung from one end of the roof to the other and back again. Next to the door, a little makeshift bar is set up, and a guy in a Star Wars shirt hands out beers to people. 

Multicolored deck chairs and beanbags are haphazardly placed across the entire roof, all pointing towards the corner furthest away from the door where a big white sheet hangs spanned between two poles. 

“ Sooo you gonna tell me what we’re doing here? “ Bucky asks again as (Y/N) steers him towards a cluster of chairs in the back. 

“ Some peeps I went to university with, set up movie screenings here every once in a while. I could pull some strings and got to choose the movie. “ 

“ We’re gonna watch a movie? “ 

“ Not just any movie, “ she exclaims and drops down onto one of the plastic deck chairs that looks like it used to be bright pink once but is now but a bleached blush colour from being exposed to the sun too much. “ We’re watching when Harry met Sally. “ 

Bucky slumps down on the chair next to her, a blue one with white daisy patterns. 

“ Me not knowing this movie really does bother you, huh? “ 

“ It’s a classic, might as well start with this one. And anyway, maybe this can help you get back into the dating game. Ya know, help you understand modern romance. “

“ You think so? “ 

She shrugs and starts fumbling around in her bag, “ I dunno. It might. And if it doesn’t at least you’ll spend your time watching a good movie and get to experience the blessing of my company. Ah-ha! There you go “ 

Her hand reaches out holding a bag of M&Ms.

“ I brought snacks. “ 

More and more people start occupying the chairs and bean bags and a few minutes later a guy steps up in front of the sheet. He’s wearing a shirt with a black and white bird pattern, huge glasses with a brown frame, and jeans that don’t cover his ankles. He’s tall and lanky and his hair is so messy, Bucky wonders if it’s intentional or if he just hasn’t brushed it in a while. 

“ Hi guys, I’m Andrew. For those of you who don’t know me, I live in apartment 2B and I just wanna say thank you for showing up and welcome you to our movie night under the stars. A few days ago we received a special request from one of our good friends and because she let me stay on her couch for several months back during our college days and I still owe her for that I couldn’t reject her request. So thanks to Miss (Y/N) over there in the pink chair you now get to spend the next 90 minutes watching Meg Ryan fall in love with Mike Wazowski. Enjoy. “ 

As he steps away from the sheet, the lights are turned off and the MGM logo pops up on the screen. 

“ Trust me, Bucky. This one’s so good.” (Y/N) assures before throwing some M&Ms into her mouth, now entirely focused on the movie.

It takes a while for Bucky to relax. Being around so many people and not having any fear of what’s lurking around the corner is still very new. Letting go is never as easy as it sounds. Eventually though, his nerves settle down a little and as the movie progresses, he finds himself relaxing more and more. Something he hasn’t done in a long time. Not since Wakanda.

Exactly 46 minutes into the movie, (Y/N) lets her eyes wander to her left where Bucky, until now, sat slumped into his seat. Still perpetually grumpy but more chilled out and relaxed than she’s seen him before. Until now. A moaning Meg Ryan visible making him uncomfortable.

“ You okay, grumpy? “ 

He doesn’t grant her a real answer, just scoffs and rolls his eyes. There’s a smile though, she’s sure. Somewhere hidden there is another smile. 

“ So, what did we learn today? “ 

Bucky looks at (Y/N) who has her arms wrapped tightly around her middle shielding herself from the chilly night air. The movie night has ended a while ago and the two of them are slowly strolling along the New York City streets on the way back to (Y/N)’s apartment. 

“ To take your own advice and dress warmer for a movie night? “ 

(Y/N) chuckles. “ No, grumpy. I meant the movie. “ 

He shrugs at her question. Quite honestly he hasn’t learned anything new. Nothing about the movie seemed in any way revolutionary to him nor does he see any benefit for himself and his dating life going forward. But the way she looks at him right now, expecting something grand not from him really but some beautiful consequences to her ideas, that makes him reconsider. Sure he could tell her that it was just a silly little movie about people falling in love but that would no doubt hurt her, even a tiny little bit. And if there’s anything Bucky has enough of, it’s hurting others. 

“ I guess that men and women really can not be friends. “ 

“ Noooo! No. Is that really what you took from this movie? “ 

“ That’s literally what happened. “ 

“ Okay first of all it works, look at us! We’re friends! Second of all, that’s not what the movie is really about. It’s about love and vulnerability. It’s about overcoming all the tiny things that can work against you and your relationship. Like distance and timing and egotism. It’s about hiding who you are because really opening up to someone, being your authentic true self with all your faults and imperfections, that makes you vulnerable. And being vulnerable is fucking scary. But love is worth it anyway. That’s what the movie is about. “

As Bucky noticed before, some smiles demand to be smiled. They need to be smiled because they’re important and they mean something. The one gracing his face now, that’s one of those. One of those you remember because you feel them all the way in your heart.

“ You think we’re friends? “ 

“ Oh, are we — are we not? “ 

“ No. I — no, we are! I’d like to be friends. “ 

(Y/N) abruptly stops in her tracks, turns towards him, and holds out her hand. “ To friendship.” 

“ We’re shaking hands on it? What is this, a business deal? “ 

“ You know what, yeah now that you mention it that’s pretty lame. “ (Y/N) agrees, balling her hand into a fist “ how about a fist bump, bro? “ 

Bucky reluctantly knocks his right hand against hers before continuing his walk down the street. “You call me bro again I’m canceling the friendship. “ 

“ Alright. Noted. “ 

“ So have you talked to the girl again? “ 

“ Hmm? “ 

“ The one you went on a date with? “ 

“ Oh, Leah. Uh — no.” 

“ Why not? “ 

Bucky throws her a look. One that says “are you kidding me?”. One that says “ you know why.” 

“ Cause I ran out. That’s embarrassing. She’s gonna think I’m insane. She’s never gonna wanna see me again. “ 

“ I sincerely doubt that. You just gotta say sorry. I know in Love Story — that’s a novel and also a movie from the 70s — they say that ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry but that’s a load of bull. Just say sorry and ask her for a do-over. “ 

“ And then what? We play a rematch of battleships and talk about my trauma? “ 

“ Well, what did you do on dates in the 40s? “ 

That time, his youth, that seems like a different life altogether now. So much happened between then and now and the man he is now, has no relation to the boy he was then. Sometimes looking back hurts, makes it painfully obvious what he’s lost. But sometimes, like tonight, he can feel a hint of fondness coursing through him at the thought of times long gone.

“ Dancing, mostly.” 

“ Like, ballroom dancing? “ 

“ Swing. “ 

“ You swing dance? “ 

“ I did. “ 

(Y/N) regards him through squinted eyes “ really? “ 

“ You don’t believe me? “

“ I don’t know. You don’t strike me as a dancer. “ 

Not a second later, Bucky’s gloved hand grabs onto her’s and twirls her towards him then away from him and back in. 

“ You twirled me! “ 

“ Mm-mh.”

“ I’ve never been twirled. That’s so fun. “ 

It’s like autopilot taking over as Bucky holds onto her, twirling her again then pulling her in and swaying them in a circle. It’s not swing dancing, not even close but there’s no music either, and anyway, his dancing days are over. But sometimes you gotta make a point and if that means slow dancing in the middle of an empty street then that’s that. 

The night wraps them in a blanket of comfort and intimacy as the stars and the New York skyline try to outshine each other. It’s a moment so peaceful, Bucky can’t remember the last time his heart felt so light, his mind felt so at ease, his entire being got to let go and just be alive and in the moment.

And then the shine of headlights rips them from their moment and makes them jump back onto the sidewalk. 

“ Get off the road you fucking morons! “ 

“ Gotta love the big city folk. “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ Hey, Bucky.” 

“ What? “ 

“ You really can dance.” 

“ Told you. “ 

“ Can I tell you a secret? “ 

“ Sure. “ 

“ I can’t dance for shit. “ 

“ That so? “

“ Yup. Which means you gotta teach me. “ 

“ Absolutely not.” 

“ Oh, 100%! “ 

“ We’ll see about that.” 

There are nights you try to forget. Nights that you wish to never ever remember. Ones that break you. That beat you down and leave you bruised and battered.

Then there are nights like this one that you want to hold onto for just a little bit longer. Those that fill you with joy and an immeasurable thirst for life. The ones that make you feel grateful to be alive right here and now. 

The inevitable end of the night creeps closer as they arrive at (Y/N)’s front door. Neither of them really want to say goodnight but both know there’s no use in delaying it.

“ I hope you didn’t hate the movie too much, “ (Y/N) speaks up, leaning against the front door of her apartment complex.

“ No. It was fun! Although I still don’t know who Mike Wazulsky is. “ 

“ Mike Wazowski, he’s — you know what? That’s a conversation for another time. “ 

“ Alright, if you say so. “ 

“ Thanks for walking me home. “ 

“ Oh, yeah no need to thank me. It’s the right thing to do. “ 

For a moment they just stand and smile, trying to cherish the last few moments of this night. 

“ We should do this more often. “ Bucky suggests, surprising even himself.

“ For sure. I still have so many movies to show you. “ 

“ Can’t wait. “ 

A slight sense of awkwardness falls over them as neither of them knows what to do. Go for a hug? Shakes hands? Wave goodbye? 

“ I uh — I should go. “ 

“ Yeah, of course. Have a good night, Bucky.” 

“ You too, (Y/N).” 

“ Oh and Bucky? “ 

“ Yes? “ 

“ Give Leah a call. “ 

Bucky nods his head before turning around and walking back into the night.

As he takes the way back to his own home, there are only two things on Bucky’s mind: the vulnerability of falling in love and the question of who the hell Mike Wazowski was. 

[mobius-prime]

185. Sonic the Hedgehog #117

Cyber Race!

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jason Jensen

So you may be wondering. How exactly has Eggman managed to survive and even continue his relatively normal operations in a hidden city when his body was destroyed? Well, ever since the destruction of Robotropolis, he and Snively have been stranded as mere snippets of code within cyberspace (…somehow. I mean, were they contained on some kind of external server or something? 'Cause code can't just exist without hardware…). Snively, upon trying to hurry along to a new body in the real world, accidentally catches a ride on some fast-moving zeroes and ones, and suddenly finds himself materializing in a new and improved body… one which makes him tall and handsome, with a head full of hair! He's even more delighted when he realized Eggman didn't follow him, and is ready to take on the world himself without his uncle to give him trouble, when…

…you know, Snively, he's kind of got a point. Eggman's ego is already so massive that any more being added to the comic would just result in the universe breaking or something.

The Tortoise and the Hedgehog

Writer: Romy Chacon Pencils: Art Mawhinney Colors: Jason Jensen

Within the wind-blasted, desolate Forbidden Zone, a lone hare makes his way through the unforgiving landscape, locating an old abandoned factory in which he's supposed to meet his contact, Tommy Turtle. When he enters, he's surprised to find not only his friend, but also the Fearsome Foursome, Sleuth Dawg, and Drago Wolf grinning down at him unpleasantly.

The hare quickly agrees with Tommy's tale, explaining that they have been friends ever since they were younger. The hare was much quicker than Tommy and became arrogant because of it, and ended up challenging him to a race that ended, well, exactly as the famous original Tortoise and the Hare story did, with Tommy ultimately winning and gaining the respect of his former bully. The villains seem somewhat unconvinced by the story, but sneeringly escort the hare to a room where he can rest - however, they take Tommy with them, refusing to let the two catch up. Now that the hare is alone, he can pull off his mask and fursuit and reveal his true identity - of course, he's Sonic the Hedgehog, who else? His story was actually true, and he hadn't heard from Tommy all the way since the beginning of the war, assuming he was dead until just recently when he and Sally received a message from him.

It's quite bizarre to think of Sonic as a bully. After all, in basically every canon, he's a genuinely nice guy who looks after others no matter how strange anyone else might find him - you need look no further than his friendship with Tails in the games, which began when Tails found himself bullied by everyone else until cool-guy Sonic befriended him. Sonic has a big ego, sure, but he's always struck me as the type to extend that confidence to everyone around him - sure, he's super cool and he knows it, but that doesn't make everyone else around him uncool. However, I can indeed see the version of Sonic in the Archieverse being somewhat of a cocky asshole in his youth. I mean, we are talking about Sonic at the age of five years old here. Plenty of little kids can be initially very mean to those around them - especially those suffering from trauma at an early age, like with Sonic losing his parents even before the war started - but later grow up to become compassionate, friendly individuals who protect those same people they would once have mocked. Either way, it's an interesting way to paint the previous personality of the story's hero.

Anyway, Sonic sneaks through the vents to listen in on Tommy's conversation with the others to make sure he's not here against his will, and finds to his dismay that everyone else has gone to the next room to meet with none other than Eggman and Snively, in their new robotic bodies. Drago is slyly trying to sell Eggman back his own former factory, and Eggman, unimpressed, pretends to accept and seals the deal with a handshake… which of course just roboticizes Drago immediately. He then quickly shoots out more of his awful mecha-tentacles to roboticize the Fearsome Foursome as well, but Sleuth holds up Tommy, retracted into his shell, in front of him as a shield, stopping Eggman long enough to get his own word in.

Tommy regretfully apologizes for his role in the deception, saying he didn't know until it was too late, and Sonic of course forgives him immediately. He leaps away from Eggman's grabby tentacle hands and slides away using Tommy like he's a skateboard. Eggman turns back toward Sleuth, intending to roboticize him before going after Sonic, and Sleuth declares that if he must go then he'll take Eggman with him, and flings a grenade in the enclosed space… which Tommy realizes that they can't both escape the blast of in time.

So… like, this is a really sad sacrifice scene and all, but I feel like it would have more impact if Tommy wasn't literally just some rando who was never mentioned before this point. He was literally only introduced here to sacrifice himself and teach Sonic a life lesson, but we have no other reasons to care about him. Like, I get the comic doesn't want to just start killing off major characters left and right, but damn, you could at least go for someone or something that would have a little more impact.

Ultimate Power (Part Three)

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Dawn Best Colors: Jensen

Before heading to deal with the Dimitri situation, Remington leads Knuckles to a room in the hospital which contains our poor friend Harry. It's unclear exactly what happened, but somehow he's ended up severely injured after giving Mogul a ride, and is missing his payment to boot. Knuckles, after being reassured by the Chaotix that this is a friend of theirs, uses his Chaos abilities to heal Harry enough so he can wake up and speak. While they discuss things, learning that Mogul is behind everything (as they already kind of knew, due to him contacting them about his hostage and everything), Mogul has himself a nice chat with Dimitri in his private room.

I know I've already pointed it out, but this change in Dimitri's attitude has just been so fascinating. It's obvious he's starting to regret a lot of the more extreme actions he's taken in times past, and truly believes in bringing echidna society back together as one unified whole. While this discussion goes on, Lien-Da and Gae-Na, having heard of the news by now, discuss what their next move should be.

As practically everyone on the island waits with bated breath, Knuckles teleports into the room Mogul is holding Dimitri in. He angrily demands that Mogul leave and give up his scheme, but Mogul finally shows his hand - he intends to force Knuckles to submit to his own version of the Chaos Syphon, and if Knuckles doesn't do it willingly, he threatens to disconnect Dimitri's life support permanently…

[patheticphallacy]

Another instalment of ‘how cheesy can Connie get’- MY FAVOURITE ROMANCE FILMS.

I have watched a lot of films- a large amount of them romances- so I figured I’m kind of a burgeoning expert on what romances are actually good, and which are overrated [sorry, The Notebook just isn’t as great as people like to say].

While some of these may not technically be romances straight up, the romance elements are my favourite parts, so I’ve placed an emphasis on that in this post.

Before Sunrise dir. Richard Linklater

This is the first installment in a series of films following the same couple. In Before Sunrise, a French student and an American spend a night together in Vienna getting to know each other. It’s very pretentious, but I swear, you’ll fall in love with these two without even realising!

When Harry Met Sally dir. Rob Reiner

Truly an Iconique film starring Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan as best friends, starting from the first time they meet [making a trip to New York together after the graduate] and picking up several years later when they bump into each other again. It’s honestly very wholesome, if you ignore the weird age gap where they try to make Billy Crystal seem younger but in reality just making him seem even older. 

Ever After dir. Andy Tennant

Ever After is a retelling of Cinderella set in France, following Danielle [Drew Barrymore] who begins to break free from the confines of her abusive stepmother after meeting the charming Prince Henry. This is one of my all time favourite period movies, besides Pride and Prejudice, and I adore it. Put Your Arms Around Me is a BOP, and that scene where Danielle picks Henry up still gives me life. Also Leonardo da Vinci is in it? It’s dope. 

The Edge of Seventeen dir. Kelly Fremon Craig

Hailee Steinfeld KILLED me with her performance in this film. She plays Nadine, ailing teenager whose childhood best friend- and only friend- starts dating her older brother Darian, leaving her alone and struggling to find a new place for herself. Nadine has an adorable relationship develop with Erwin, whom I love and adore with all my heart, and this works perfectly for people looking for a film that examines all kinds of relationships- brother and sister, mother and daughter, friendships including those with teachers- as well as how damaging losing your loved ones can be.

Tangled dir. Byron Howard, Nathan Greno

Disney peaked when they created Flynn Rider. Rapunzel finds herself setting out of her tower to see the floating lanterns on her birthday, helped by a chameleon, a horse, a bunch of ruffians, and Flynn Rider, thief and love of my childhood self’s life. Their romance is ADORABLE.

Wall-E dir. Andrew Stanton

After Earth has been abandoned for 700 years, waste lifter Wall-E is the last robot left and, after so long alone, has developed a personality. After meeting EVE, sent on a scanning mission to find life on Earth, Wall-E follows her across the galaxy and makes an impression on everyone he meets along the way. If you didn’t cry at the final scene between Eve and Wall-E in this, you don’t have a heart!

Pride and Prejudice dir. Joe Wright

As much as I love the BBC adaptation and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, this one trumps all. It’s a classic! Elizabeth Bennet [Keira Knightley] meets Mr Darcy at a ball. He sticks his foot in his mouth, repeatedly, while Elizabeth deals with her own family drama. It’s adorable, and Matthew Macfadyen is a national treasure for playing Mr Darcy as such an anxious and socially awkward guy. Keira Knightley is, as per usual, beautiful. 

UP dir. Pete Docter, Bob Peterson

I can’t even write about the relationship in this without crying. I’m crying as I write about how I won’t write about it. If you haven’t watched this, watch it. I want someone to love me this much one day. 

Beautiful Thing dir. Hettie MacDonald

The reason there aren’t more LGBT+ films on this list is that I’m planning a whole recommendation series in June and July for PRIDE. This one is a special one, though. It’s the first LGBT+ film I ever watched, following Jamie and Ste, two boys who live on a council estate who fall for each other. It’s so fucking CUTE, you have no idea. Shirley and Kim from Eastenders are in it! It’s iconic and so, so British. The final scene is the reason I want Dream a Little Dream to be my dance song at my wedding one day. 

Four Weddings and a Funeral dir. Mike Newell

Who cares about Hugh Grant when there’s literally every other relationship in this film? John Hannah personally came into my home when I was 11 years old and made me sob like a baby, and continues to do so every time I watch this. It is really sad- fair warning- but it’s so moving and has some great approaches to relationships.

10 Things I Hate About You dir. Gil Junger

YOU’RE JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE…………….. this is the only version of Taming of the Shrew that matters, and that includes the original play, because nobody loses sight of who they really are for the sake of romance. Bianca Stratford can’t date until her older sister, Kat, does. In comes Patrick Verona who, after being offered money, agrees to date Kat, and proceeds to falls head over heels for her. I cried so much at the English speech scene, you have no idea!

Dirty Dancing dir. Emile Ardolino

This is the only progressive sixties set movie we need. Teenager Baby goes to a resort with her parents for the summer, and finds herself growing closer with Johnny, the resort’s dance instructor. Their relationship is beautiful. It’s surprisingly healthy, considering other movies set in this era [Grease, I’m looking at you], and I love how much these characters bring each other up with their love and show each other how valuable they really are. WHOLESOME. 

+1: 13 Going on 30 dir. Gary Winick, which I literally only just watched, and adore, and I can’t believe I only watched this film for the first time aged 19! 

+2, I guess: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang dir. Shane Black, the king of all buddy cop romances, lets be real. If Harry and Gay [it’s really his name] aren’t actually dating in the final scene of this film, I’ll eat my whole hat! I dare you to watch this and say I’m imagining these two are dating the whole time. Exactly like The Nice Guys. 

  And those are my picks! I love romance, especially romance films, so I’d really dig it if you recommended me some.

Thank you for reading, and happy valentine’s day!

Film Friday//Favourite Romance Films Another instalment of 'how cheesy can Connie get'- MY FAVOURITE ROMANCE FILMS. I have watched a lot of films- a large amount of them romances- so I figured I'm kind of a burgeoning expert on what romances are actually good, and which are overrated .

[orenbeval-blog]

Rosie Watson’s Diary - Sun.24/02/2030

Today I kind of spent the whole day working for that *** Chinese vocabulary test we have tomorrow. I don’t want to mess up the same way I messed up last time. Daddy wasn’t quite happy about it but as he had just spent three days sleeping at Harry’s while Sherlock was doing drugs, he didn’t worry THAT much about my failed test.

However, even if this is VERY important, it’s just soooo hard to concentrate properly after the day we had yesterday !!!

Well, Stella ordered some pizza for everyone and while we were waiting for the delivery, Greg Lestrade suggested to take us to the roof, to show us the view. Sally Donovan had some paper work to finish and Stella and Molly were waiting for the pizzas so we just went all four of us.

I very often hear about Greg Lestrade but I hardly ever get a chance to meet him. Only occasionally, on big birthdays or when sometimes, there is a HUGE emergency on a Sunday evening or so. He is always very polite and he always steps by at Mrs H.’s but he never talks that much.

When we reached the roof, all three of us were *mindblown*.

*MINDBLOWN*

Somehow, without me really noticing, I found myself quite close to Greg Lestrade, Yifan and Kiara being a bit further away. He gently asked how my parents were. I shrugged. I didn’t really know. I still don’t really know. But… (I already said that I should join a chess club..) I decided to play the dummy :

“Well they keep talking about a roof jump from Saint Bart Hospital and about a Jim Moriarty dude and an Irene Adler lady. I don’t know. It’s all sad and heavy. Sherlock has been doing drugs and that’s not good for my adoption and…”

God this might have been a bit over-reacted, especially the part about the drugs and the adoption. Where did those tears suddenly come from ?

Greg Lestrade gently handed me handkerchief. A true old fashioned white handkerchief made of cotton. He smiled.

“Don’t worry about the drugs. None of us will let that become a thing. That’s the point in having somewhat powerful friends… You can organize a bit around law. Inspector Donovan is not very fond of the idea but, damn it, that woman is human too, despite her sayings. I mean, she married Andersen… that should be proof enough that she can be silly, that she has her weaknesses and her soft points. And even if she might not stand your parents… she still is able to understand that all three of you don’t need additional shit to fill your baskets. So, don’t worry. This is fine.”

“Why doesn’t she like my parents ?”

“Well… it has never clicked between Holmes and her. That’s it.”

“And with Daddy ?”

“Ah. Well… Inspector Donovan gets really sensitive as soon any violence she is confronted with tend to show some similarity to domestic abuse. And your parents had an incident, 13 years ago and…”

“Well, yes, Daddy beat the shit out of Sherlock, I heard them talk about this.”

He went silent.

He took a deep breath.

“Yeah. Your John Dad lost it all over your Holmes Dad. I didn’t really pay attention at that time, because well… I was unaware of certain realities but thank the Lord, my two Inspectors were quite quick to teach me one or two things about life in general and domestic abuse in particular, and yes, Inspector Donovan really did a great job with your Holmes Dad.”

“Well, I though Molly and Stella…”

“Prof. Hooper and Inspector Hopkins were involved regarding your custody and your well-being at some point. And in the end… your John Dad found his way back into sanity and was able to handle his… I don’t how do you call that… his lover ? His partner ? Well, Holmes, and his daughter, meaning you… and your Holmes Dad found somehow his way out of his addictions and… here we are, you will soon be a family. That’s great.”

“And Jim Moriarty ? Do you know him ?”

“Well, which cop doesn’t know him… he was a freaking powerful criminal. And as your Holmes Dad is a freaking powerful detective… Moriarty decided to set a contest. Well… he almost won but in the end, it seems that Holmes was stronger. It’s a dark story, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

“You mean my Dad killed him ?”

“Who knows ? Officially, it was a car crash, period. But then, Mycroft works for the Government so…”

“Mycroft ? My uncle ?”

“Yes, himself.”

“What’s the point with him ?”

“Well, he sometimes hire Holmes on delicate missions for the Government and in exchange… might, sometimes, when it suits the country’s needs, arrange a bit the “official version” of things.”

“Like Irene Adler’s death ?”

“Yeah, like that. Government does sometimes help people who put themselves into danger for the Government’s sake to disappear. I guess such a thing is completely at Mycroft Holmes’s reach.”

“But what did she do ?”

“God, girl… who knows ? she was, at some point, for all I got to know, involved with that Moriarty bloke.”

I just tried not to faint.

Greg Lestrade noticed I went pale : “are you all right Rosie ?”

“I’m just hungry…”

“Well yes, it’s about time, let’s see were the pizzas are.”

He called Kiara and Yifan and all four of us went down into the office where Stella, Sally Donovan and Molly had prepared a cosy picnic area.

The meal turned out to be GREAT.

All four adults had many stories to tell about my dads when they were young and when everyone was thinking of them as a couple though they weren’t. We also learned about Bell Hook, Iggy Pop, Alan Turing, The Lord of the Rings movies and late 2010’s feminism.

And as, at some point, Sally Donovan and Greg Lestrade had actual stuff to do, we went all three with Stella and Molly to the movie theater and watched the latest Disney movie about the singing frog who wants to settle on the moon. Was quite funny.

So… I have to learn for that Chinese test now.

[merlinficreview]

The Student Prince: Chapter 1-5 Review!

Sorry it’s been 84 years since Romeo or I have posted anything. Romeo is back to school for the semester so her time is limited and work has been really draining on me recently. Never fear, we are still here though and I’ve got a review!

The Student Prince by FayJay

Word Count: 145222

Ok guys, this is it. The infamous Student Prince fic. I have read this one before and I liked it because it seems to be the closest fic I’ve found to a modernized version of the BBC show. Plus, as I’ve already said before, I am a sucker for Modern Royalty AUs. This fic also takes place at the University of St. Andrews, which I know nothing about. So google will be my trusty friend throughout this review.

Here we go!

Chapter 1

We begin with Merlin getting hit in the face with some luggage and falling onto some poor elderly lady. Merlin has to maintain an extra sense of control when objects are flying towards his face because he has magic and doesn’t want to out himself. Yay Modern Day Magic Fic!

So it turns out the luggage situation was someone else’s fault. “She glanced from Merlin to the lady and then back again, her face the picture of mortification, and Merlin – who had been feeling a little disgruntled about the whole unexpected-rain-of-luggage scenario – took one look at her huge brown eyes and immediately wanted to reassure her that he had thoroughly enjoyed being knocked half unconscious.” Haha, aww.

The luggage canon introduces herself as Gwen. Yay, Gwen! She is studying engineering at St. Andrews. I think it’s weird that Gwen already has all her textbooks. Have they already signed up for their classes? How would she know what to buy?

Gwen tells Merlin she also has a hammer in her bag. "’Of course there is,’ nodded Merlin, gravely. ‘Who travels without a hammer in their luggage these days? One never knows when a spot of joinery might be in order.’ The corner of his mouth twitched. ‘Stop!’ he said, raising one hand in front of him. Gwen blinked, and after a beat Merlin added: ‘Hammer Time! Dooo doodoodoo! Doodoo! Doo! Hammer Time!’ as he improvised a quick, and truly terrible, attempt at the Hammer Dance in the cramped confines of the aisle.’”

Oh my God. How embarrassing. Stop it, Merlin. Then Gwen tells Merlin that she makes her own jewelry and Merlin is super impressed. Merlin even does the dance a second time and I want to crawl in a hole and die from secondhand embarrassment. Merlin, you JUST met Gwen. Calm yourself.

“’Hey, it's not really Merlin, is it?’ Gwen asked, looking at him sidelong. ‘I mean – really really? You're pulling my leg, right? I mean – nobody's called Merlin. Why would any woman name her baby after an old man with a long white beard and a pointy hat? It's like calling your baby Gandalf.’” This is the second time Gwen has awkwardly expressed disbelief about Merlin’s name. Stop being weirdly obsessed with his name, Gwen. How fucking rude. Poor Merlin. Getting assaulted by luggage and then getting his name made fun of. Good start to college, Merlin. Good start.

Then Gwen points out that Prince Arthur is also going to be attending St. Andrews and she says Merlin and Arthur will become besties. Merlin points out that her name is Guinevere and that she’ll be future queen.

"’That isn't why I applied there,’ she insisted. ‘I mean, I know that there must be thousands of girls who filled in their UCAS forms with St Andrews just because they're living some kind of stupid “Princess Diaries” fantasy and they think they're going to meet him and he'll fall for them and they'll end up with a tiara and a load of corgis, but I'm serious about my career. St Andrews has an excellent engineering department. I was going to apply there long before I heard that's where Arthur was going.’”

But that’s not the plot of The Princess Diaries at all?

I also have the St. Andrews website pulled up because like I said, I know nothing about it, or going to school in the UK, to be honest, and it doesn’t even look like St. Andrews has an engineering department. Man, Gwen is going to be pissed when she finds out she spent all her money on textbooks for a degree her school doesn’t offer.

Then Gwen tells us how King Uther met his wife while they were at Oxford once upon a time. "It's such a beautiful story, isn't it? The way they met at Oxford when she borrowed his jar of Gold Blend, not even realising he was the Prince of Wales at first because he was in the middle of shaving and she was distracted by her friend's dog...oh, they were so in love!" Gold Blend is coffee, by the way. I had to google it too. In what situation would a man be shaving his face next to a container of instant coffee while a random dog is nearby? That’s such an odd scene to imagine. Maybe she knocked in his door to borrow the coffee and she had the dog with her? Were there co-ed dormitories back then?

Merlin is just as suspicious about this story as I am and pops Gwen’s bubble, telling her it was most likely PR. I agree.

"Merlin shook his head mutely, and carefully didn't mention any of the books or magazines he might possibly have read about Prince Arthur and his family. Especially not the outrageously hot photoshoot in GQ magazine that he'd been hiding under his bed for the past three months, and frantically jerking off to most nights. Nope, definitely not mentioning that. Gwen rolled her eyes. ‘Uther and Igraine – it's like a modern day Romeo and Juliet!’" First of all, 100% do not mention that to Gwen. Good decision. Second of all, Gwen has a really hard time grasping plots, doesn’t she? No wonder she decided to major in a non-existent department at her university. She’s not a very bright girl.

We then learn that Merlin is planning to major in physics. That is a department at St. Andrews, good job, Merlin! Then Gwen compares their journey to Hogwarts. “He found himself wishing he could explain about Professor Gaius and Doctor Nimueh, and about the kind of text books he had stuffed into the bottom of his rucksack – but that wasn't going to happen. Magic was secret, and secret it should stay. Nobody wanted to go back to the days of witchburnings.” Poor Merlin. It’s always so sad that he has to hide himself. I will also give him a pass for already having magic books because that’s different.

Gwen and Merlin talk a little more about Harry Potter and then go right back to talking about Arthur and how they’ll probably never meet him. Well…

Then Merlin gets real depressing real fast. "Whatever. All those posh interbred types with more rooms than they know what to do with and flocks of sheep wandering around on their enormous ancient estates - that's who he'll be hanging out with. Not with a physics student from a grotty little council estate in Cardiff, or an engineering student – however lovely – who lives above her dad's garage in Wembley. Face it – we don't have our own flocks of sheep." Brutal Honesty Hour! It’s my favorite time of day!

Merlin then shares some chocolate with Gwen and they enjoy the rest of their train ride.

Chapter 2

“The door was open a crack when Merlin reached his room in St Salvator's Hall, and he could hear voices inside, and what sounded rather a lot like The Rolling Stones.” I looked up St. Salvator’s Hall and holy crap those rooms are nice. According to the photos, the rooms are like twice as big as the dorm rooms of the university I went to. I also decided to compare prices, for funsies, and also to sit and cry about how much more ridiculously expensive it is to go to university here than in other countries. The fee for a shared room at St. Salvator’s Hall is £5,837 which includes a meal plan. That’s 6292.55 USD for comparison. At the University that I went to, a shared room with communal bath is 6,795 USD. This does not include a meal plan which could add up to around 800 USD if you pick the one with the most meals. Those rates are also per semester and not for the entire academic year. Now, St. Salvator’s rate does not state whether the fee is per semester or for the whole year but either way, it’s still way more expensive here in the US. It also looks like St. Salvator Hall doesn’t have communal bathrooms like the one located here that I looked up. Yay not affordable education here in the US!

Anyways, Merlin enters the room and his roommate is none other than the Prince of Wales himself, Arthur. Oh my god. I NEVER saw that one coming!

“’Only – I thought – well, I pretty much assumed that you'd be staying over at New Hall. Where they have single rooms. And ensuites with all the mod cons,’ blurted Merlin. ‘Not sharing a room in Sally's. Why are you sharing a room in Sally's?’ Arthur frowned. ‘Because I lost a bet, if you must know. With my father.’ He stared at Merlin, looking puzzled and a touch irritated. ‘You weren't expecting this, then? They didn't get you to sign things – Official Secrets Act, all that?’” I think that’s a fair question Merlin is asking and I also want to know what sort of bet Arthur lost. How fucking awkward that no one alerted Merlin to who his roommate was supposed to be. Don’t they give out roommate names before the semester starts?

So then Arthur gets bitchy that Merlin hasn’t signed a non-disclosure agreement. “Well – sorry if this sounds, you know, rude, but basically if you touch any of my stuff, or take photos of me or my friends, or tape conversations, or sell your story to the press, or – basically, if you act like a dick, right? Well, we're talking Tower of London, pretty much. That's the Cliff Notes version.”

Calm the fuck down, Arthur. Throwing Merlin in the tower for borrowing your history book is way too excessive. So then Merlin asks if he can make a citizen’s arrest if Arthur does any the aforementioned things to Merlin. Good job, Merlin. Arthur is a complete asshole about that, acting like Merlin’s stuff is grosser than the stuff on the bottom on Arthur’s shoes and tells Merlin he will replace anything he ruins with something of “equal value.” "’Like a stick of gum,’ murmured Kay, sniggering.” Yeah, be prepared to really really fucking hate Kay in this. "’I can see why you have to swear people to secrecy, if this is how you act when you're not around a reporter,’ blurted out Merlin, feeling cheated. ‘You really are a massive prat, aren't you? A smug, self-entitled, patronising git.’” Yassssss. You tell him, Merlin.

Arthur and his friends leave and then Merlin goes to find Gaius. We learn a little about the School of Sorcery. This School can be found in every single building on campus, one just has to find the special door with a dragon on it. Merlin finds the door located in his residence hall. Of course the dragon on the door talks to Merlin, "’Young Merlin!’ it said, in a voice like a rusty gate, blinking sulphurous eyes impossibly as it writhed through the wood like an eel in water. ‘Back so soon?’ ‘What?’ Merlin stared at it. ‘I haven't – this is my first time here, Master Dragon.’” So we get a little hint of reincarnation.

Merlin finds Gaius who tries to shoo him away until Merlin gives him his name. Gaius changes his tune after that and tells Merlin he knew his father. The first thing Merlin does is complain about sharing a room with Prince Arthur. He says it will make it too hard to hide his magic. “Gaius blinked at him owlishly. ‘Then I suggest that you learn some discretion, young man, and quickly,’ he said.’” That is such an annoying adult thing to say. What a non-answer. Poor Merlin. Gaius tells Merlin he is supposed to be rooming with Arthur so he can protect him and that wizards have always protected kings and queens. Merlin is unhappy with this news.

Chapter 3

This chapter opens with:

“Hey, Gwen – how's McIntosh Hall?

Brilliant! How's Sallies?

View good, mattress soft, roommate total plonker. Yours?

She seems OK. Sorry you got plonker. Want to meet later & go to Union together?

God, yes please!” It’s written just like that (italics represent direct quotes and bold represents italics within the fic. You know the drill). I assume they are texting.

Anyways: “It was the tail-end of summer, but apparently that meant something rather different on the East coast of Scotland than it did in Wales, and by the time Merlin got to Gwen's Hall of Residence he was wishing he'd brought a coat, rather than just pulling on a black v-neck jumper.” Does Merlin not know how to read a map, or?

Like… I know the UK is small compared to the US but he can’t really be that surprised that the Northern part of the UK is colder than the Southern part. There’s almost 500 miles in between Cardiff and St. Andrews. I’m glad Merlin isn’t majoring in geography.

So Merlin meets up with Gwen outside her residence hall where she has acquired a gentleman caller. It’s probably Lance. Merlin and Gwen hug. “’Hey, you,’ he said into her hair, feeling something in his chest tighten unexpectedly. ‘I missed you.’”

Calm down, Merlin. You’ve known her for thirty seconds and only been away for her for three of those.

Lance is not happy with Merlin’s presence. “’Hi, Lance,’ he said, ducking his head in Lance's general direction. Lance smiled back – or at least, he bared his teeth, which was almost the same thing. Merlin had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. ‘Hi,’ said Lance reaching out a hand that Merlin rather suspected was going to be bone-crushing. He let go of Gwen and accepted the handshake, and managed not to buckle under the pressure of Lance's Very Manly Indeed deathgrip of macho posturing.” LOL HOW HILARIOUS. Men treating women like objects and prizes to be won. Real knee slapper, that joke.

Gwen tells Merlin that Lance is going to be her Academic Dad and then informs us that there’s only 8 weeks until Raisin Weekend. Thanks, Exposition Gwen! So I also googled this Academic Family business since that’s not a thing we have here. So, basically an Academic Mum and Academic Dad are like mentors for first year students and freshmen are allowed to ask for someone to be their Academic Mother but the Academic Dad has to do the asking to the freshmen. So it makes no sense that Gwen was so shocked about Lance asking her. Whatever. Raisin Weekend is basically just an excuse to drink excessively with your Academic Parents and dress up in costumes that Monday and have shaving cream fights. Typical college nonsense.

“’Well, if I'd known they were giving away hot blokes with every room, I'd definitely have put my name down for McIntosh Hall.’ Lance made a startled noise, and his territorial expression shifted rather quickly into something entirely different and almost maiden auntish as Gwen punched Merlin's arm.” Get it, because Gay Merlin is no longer a threat to Lance chasing after Gwen. No one tell Lance bisexual people exist. I think his head would explode. No, you know what? Someone should tell him. He’s an asshole.

“Lance gave her a slightly sheepish grin. ‘It's okay,’ he said. ‘I'll be your designated driver – I'm not big on the alcohol.’ ‘I don't need a designated driver,’ said Gwen, looking at him sidelong. ‘It's a three minute walk! It would take longer to get a car started than it would to get there!’ ‘Right – well, designated guard dog, then. Or knight in shining armour, or guardian angel, or overprotective Dad – whatever you want to call it. I don't drink, so, you know – I'll make sure you're okay. Promise.’”

Oh my God. Slow your fucking roll and let her do what she wants. She’s not some poor defenseless damsel in distress.

Lance gives off an extreme sense of superiority in this fic. He’s a Buddhist, doesn’t drink, volunteers all over the fucking place as Professional Knight in Shining armor and he’s vegan. “’My Dad disapproves of the veganism,’ he admitted, sheepishly. ‘But it's not so hard, really. It feels good, knowing who I am, and what I want out of life. Being mindful in all things.’” Be more pretentious, Lance. Really, I want to see if you can top all of that.

“Merlin studied Lance, trying not to be too damned obvious about it. He wasn't at all sure if this guy was for real, or if he was playing some kind of elaborate joke, with all this holier-than-thou schtick. There was a disconcerting intensity to the man. Merlin wanted to like him, but he wasn't at all sure what to make of him. He did seem a bit too good to be true.” See, Merlin knows.

Oh and Lance is going to teach Gwen kickboxing. He has classes on Wednesday. Of course he does. Merlin is not into it, especially after meeting one of Lance’s students, Elaine. “Merlin looked at her biceps and swallowed. ‘Yeah – no thanks,’ he said, with a watery grin. ‘I've got a suspicion she'd crush me like a bug.’” Mostly I just included this because I wanted to talk about the phrase, “watery grin.” I see this ALL THE TIME in fanfic and it drives me crazy. What the fuck is a “watery grin?” If your smile is “watery,” swallow your fucking spit. That’s disgusting.

“Gwen bit her lip and glanced up at them. ‘Would you hate me forever if I left you for five minutes?’ she asked. ‘I need the ladies' room. I know I should have gone before we left, but I was caught up talking, and I didn't get around to it. Can you wait for me?’ ‘Until the stars fall from the sky,’ said Lance, bowing with an elaborate flourish that made Gwen roll her eyes.”

I don’t even have a response to this bullshit.

So Gwen goes to the bathroom and Merlin does his, “hurt her and I’ll kill you,” speech to Lance and afterwards they become friends and Lance offers to be Merlin’s Academic Dad.

When Gwen comes back she is absolutely flipping her shit because she saw Arthur. “’ComeOnComeOnComeOnComeOn!’ she said in a singsong voice. ‘You should see him! He's sitting at a table! Drinking a beer!’” Yes, let’s all go and gawk at him like an animal in the zoo. Gwen and Lance are being really annoying so far.

So Merlin tells Gwen that Arthur is his roommate and that he’s an asshole. He then requests that they not go stare at him like total creepers. Gwen is not happy. “He looked at Gwen and sighed. ‘Look, I promise that you'll get to see him again. In fact I'll text you when he's in the room, so you'll know when's a good time to swing by and visit me in Sally's and meet him properly. I'm sure he'd love to pose for a photo with you, and give you his signature, and all that kind of meet'n'greet thing.’” Ok, Merlin. This shit is why Arthur already doesn’t like you. No inviting people over to stalk your roommate and make promises on his behalf. Stop it.

They all go dance and Merlin makes a fool of himself doing the hammer dance, covered in glitter, wearing DIY hammer dance pants (I don’t know) that he got from… somewhere. Arthur stares at him and Merlin falls off the stage.

Chapter 4

Merlin wonders how many other sorcerers are at St. Andrews and we learn that he is there on scholarship. Must be nice. My poor loan debt ass is going to be paying for the two years I spent in nursing school for like ten years. Cheers.

Merlin hears Gwen laughing, “He spotted her over on the other side of the room, in front of a table advertising the St Andrews Fencing Society.” Gwen? Fencing? I mean, I guess. Why not? She’ll have a lot of time on her hands when she realizes the major she’s chosen doesn’t exist at that school. Gwen is with her roommate, Sophia.

“With that thought in mind, he marched purposefully over to the rainbow-festooned table advertising the St Andrews LGBT Society in cheery glittering letters. ‘Sign me up,’ he said, firmly, grinning at a bald girl with enough silver in her various cavities to sink a small ship. ‘I'm a card-carrying friend of Dorothy, and I'm gagging for a shag.’” What a colorful way to introduce yourself, Merlin.

Merlin stops in the middle of registering for his LGBT club to fantasize about Arthur. As you do.  “’Oh, marvellous,’ said a faintly familiar voice behind him, rippling with laughter. ‘Oh, that's just perfect. Does Arthur know yet?’” The person is Morgana, “’Er...?’ he said, trying to think where he knew her from. ‘Sorry, are you talking to me?’ ‘He doesn't, does he? There'd have been even more bitching and whining if he did,’ she said, decisively. ‘Oh, this is going to be good.’” Get it? Because Arthur’s homophobia is such a hilarious joke and it’s going to be SO LAUGHABLE when he finds out his roommate is gay.

Merlin goes out for coffee with Morgana, who I do like in this fic minus her laughing at Merlin’s sexual orientation in the previous scene. Morgana asks Merlin if he is in to Arthur. “He's an insufferable, rude, arrogant, overprivileged berk, and I wouldn't suck his cock if he was the last man on earth and he was paying me, so there!” Me thinks the man doth protest too much.

“Fine. We won't talk about how much you want to get into my cousin's royal boxer shorts. So – magic!” Morgana gives no fucks. I like that about her. Merlin freaks out because you can’t just go talking about magic all willy nilly like that. Merlin insists on calling magic “macramé,” but Morgana is having none of it. They decided that their cover story for being so familiar with one another is that they have played World of Warcraft for years and are finally meeting in person. Sure. We also learn that Morgana is studying Art History. Good job, Morgana. That is also a subject that St. Andrews provides.

“’Now then – word on the street is that you might actually be worthy of that remarkable name.’ She took a long, thoughtful drag, and Merlin watched blue curls of smoke snake out of her nostrils like she was some kind of very small, elegant dragon. ‘Is it true that you changed the seasons?’ she asked. ‘No!’ Merlin said. ‘Or at least – well, not on purpose.’” Yikes, Merlin. I guess Merlin was 10 and throwing a tantrum about cherries not being in season so he changed the season from winter to summer. He also summoned a kracken when he was 12 years old on a school field trip. Poor Hunith having to deal with Merlin. He sounds like an insufferable child.

They then proceed to get drunk and Morgana becomes Merlin’s Academic Mother thingy. Merlin gets Morgana to be Gwen’s as well.

Chapter 5

Merlin gets back to his dorm and Arthur is there. Arthur apologizes to Merlin and suggests they start over. Arthur then realizes that Merlin is drunk. Merlin drunkenly tells Arthur that he is friends with Morgana and they were drinking together and that she is now Merlin’s Academic Mother. Turns out she is also Arthur’s. Who didn’t see that one coming? Arthur admits that he looked Merlin up and knows a lot of stuff about him. Merlin says stuff he shouldn’t say, basically admitting he is a sorcerer and he finds Arthur hot and Arthur doesn’t pick up on any of it. Arthur is stupid.

Merlin starts to fall asleep on the floor and Arthur can’t have that, for platonic friend reasons, and so he gets Merlin into bed and decides to help him drink water and take some pain killers. “There was an uncertain space of time, and then Merlin was being manhandled upright by someone warm and shirtless, who smelled good. Merlin knew he smelled good because he was slumped bonelessly with his nose pressed into the hollow of a freshly-washed collarbone. Because it seemed like a good idea, he licked it, and made a small appreciative sound, and then tried a gentle bite. The owner of the collarbone gave a startled hiss, and flinched away, but didn't drop him; and the voice, when it came again, was decidedly hoarse.”

See, Arthur is fucking stupid. If a friend/someone I wasn’t into randomly bit and licked my chest, drunk or not, I would be like, “yo, that’s not cool.” Because that’s not something someone does with their platonic friend.

When Merlin wakes up, “Another thought wandered idly through his brain, and he was faintly aware that it was significant: he wasn't alone. He was, in fact, wrapped around somebody else in the manner of an affectionate baby octopus, one leg tangled between theirs, one arm hooked firmly around a neat naked waist and his mouth pressed damply into the warm, soft-sharp curve of a shoulder blade.” Arthur is awake too, “Do you have any idea of how much fun and frivolity I could have been having last night, while you were busy cutting off the circulation in my limbs? I'll have you know I was going to have a fantastic evening.”

Umm… you made the choice to stay behind and spend the night cuddling your roommate, Arthur. You could have shoved him over if you wanted to.

Merlin and Arthur go get breakfast together. Merlin texts Gwen to tell her about Morgana being their Academic Mother and that she is also Arthur’s. Gwen freaks the fuck out.

That’s it for this review. It’s a decent set-up to the fic. We get to know a little bit about Merlin and how powerful he is. We also have a rough start to the Arthur/Merlin friendship but then it’s nice to see Arthur actually own up to his shit and apologize to Merlin. Arthur is stupid for not realizing how into him Merlin is. Gwen and Lance have been pretty annoying so far and if I remember correctly, they continue to be insufferable for the majority of this fic because their “will they won’t they” cliché set-up is stupid.

Until next time