#like after a big confession Will is crying and he’s so afraid that Mike will pull away from him forever

[kiirotoao]

Mike, stars in his eyes, holding Will’s cheek as he whispers, “look at me.”

Breathe if you agree!!!

[morganski-19]

With A Comma After Dearest, Part 8

part 1, part 7

Nancy wakes up the next morning as if nothing happened, as if nothing changed. Except something has. Yesterday had been invigorating, relieving. Learning an aspect of her that was always there, just hidden in boxes shoved in the back of her mind. Trapped up with everything else she was too afraid to address, unwilling to even acknowledge that it was there. 

But yesterday, she let one of the boxes open fully,  breaking it apart. Seeing who she really was for the first time, and finding joy instead of fear. Choosing to not hide it from herself anymore, letting herself live the way she always secretly wanted to. 

The only problem was the new stress that grew in her chest. She had made a rash decision in the enlightenment of herself. Writing a letter there was no way she could get back, revealing everything that had been in her mind the last few weeks. Straight out telling Robin that she liked her, that she wanted more than friendship. 

Truth was, Nancy had no clue if Robin had a crush on her. She was going off of slight details that she had picked up, nothing that was really fact. But looking back at it all, she couldn’t help but think that there was the slightest chance that Robin would like her too. That secretly she wanted Nancy to lean in, wanted Nancy to kiss her that night. A slight glance down to her lips can’t be mistaken, but it can be misleading. 

Or it can’t be, and Nancy is just overthinking this all over again. She doesn’t regret her actions, that letter needed to be sent. Because that way the response is completely in Robin’s hands. It can go unacknowledged and they can continue on as normal, or a rejection and maybe even a confession could come after. But there was no way of knowing what would happen. 

Nancy’s not one to leave it to the other person to make the big decisions, to take the final shot. She’d normally go straight to Robin’s house, lay it all out on the table, and get a response then. Seeing if their friendship was over right then or there or if Robin likes her too. However, the mere thought of doing that makes her heart beat so fast she can barely hear her own words coming out of her mouth. 

No one’s ever made Nancy this nervous before. Then again, no one’s ever made Nancy question who she is quite like this. No one’s ever crawled into the depths of Nancy’s mind and unlocked a box she didn’t even know was there. And did it in such a way that ensured that it wouldn’t be covered up. Robin weaseled her way into Nancy’s heart without doing much, just simply being who she is. That’s something special, something Nancy couldn’t ignore. 

There have been people that she’s fallen for before. Steve, and then Jonathan. Both were people she deeply cared for, even if she didn’t go about it in the best ways. But neither of them made her feel like this, out of no fault of their own. This feeling she has, this possible love, it’s earth-shattering. Breathtaking in a way. She doesn’t want to lose that. 

“Morning,” she says to her mom, entering the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. 

“Good morning. Your brother isn’t going to school today, feels sick.”

“Again?” It’s the third time in the past two weeks that he’s missed school. 

Karen nods. “He’s still down about the whole spring break thing, whatever happened there. And that they had to leave so soon. He’ll get better, just takes time.”

Nancy nods, taking her breakfast up to her room. She debates knocking on Mike’s door, checking in and making sure he’s alright. Knowing that it’s just going to be met by a snarky remark and him pushing her out of his room. But she wants to be there for him, wants to know that she’s there to talk to. 

She remembers how he looked when the Byers left again. Clutching Will and El so close, not even trying to pretend that he wasn’t crying. But looking back, there was something else there. Distance between him and El that wasn’t quite there before, and a new closeness between him and Will. An extra hug, tighter, more longing. She can’t help but think that there might be something else there that he’s struggling with. And with everything that she’s come to learn about herself, maybe she can help him. 

Mike knocks at her door, still in his pajamas. “Did mom tell you I’m not going to school today?”

“She did. I heard you’re still feeling down about them moving back.”

“Yeah,” he nods, “sort of. I was just wondering, the phone in my room broke a while ago, would you mind if I used yours to call Will while you’re at school? Time difference and everything?”

She shrugs. “Yeah, sure. Why can’t you use the one downstairs?”

“Privacy, I guess. Less chance of mom overhearing.”

“Yeah, you can. You know you can talk to me right, about anything.”

He nods and then walks away silently, making sure the door shuts behind him. Nancy finishes putting on her makeup, thinking about what she can do. It’s not fair to assume, but she wants to help him. 

. . . 

The Greatest Advice Giver Robin,

I just wanted to let you know that I talked to Steve directly. He told me that he and Eddie were together. Or more I asked him about it and he answered. But either way, I know now, you don’t have to hide it from me. I’m really happy that he found someone. After spring break it was kind of interesting between us, but now not so much. I suggested we should all hang out, the four of us. He agreed it would be nice. 

Mike isn’t in school again today. It’s the third time he’s been out since the Byers moved back to California. I can’t help but think it’s connected. I mean, can’t blame him. His best friend and maybe girlfriend, they might be broken up I’m not sure, moving across the country is hard. I want to talk to him about it, but I’m not sure how. 

He asked me to use the phone in my room to talk to Will while I was at school. Claimed it was the time difference so he could talk to Will before went to school. I think that Will is also conveniently going to be out of school today too. He wanted privacy to talk to him, which I know shouldn’t be weird, but he could have also just used the phone in the basement. 

I don’t know, I’m probably reading into this. I just want him to know that I’m here and he can talk to me. 

Worried again,

Nancy

Robin sees Nancy walking to class while she reads the note. Nancy’s eyes catch her in the hallway, face lightening up in a smile as she gives a small wave. She looks happier than she did the past few days, making it impossible for Robin not to return the smile. Their gaze lingers a little bit longer, Nancy slightly biting her lip before walking down the hall. 

It shocks Robin, completely standstill where she was as she sees Nancy walk away, skirt swinging with each step. Why did she do that? Did she know she was doing that? What does it mean? It wasn’t just a normal lip bite if that even was a thing. She was smiling, biting her lip as if she couldn’t help but smile brighter, glancing down at the floor before looking up at Robin again. As if she was innocent, acting coy. Like she didn’t know what that simple action did to Robin. 

Her heart beats loudly in her chest while she walks to her class, unknowing how she is even moving. Mind racing with thoughts of bringing Nancy to the bathroom, pressing her up against the stall wall, and leaning in. Breaking apart the lip bite with her tongue and pressing their lips together. Finally doing what she’s wanted to for so long. 

She has to stop, can’t keep thinking about this in the middle of class, the middle of school. Not with the way it’s making her feel. Especially since it feels so wrong. Nancy is straight, she shouldn’t let herself fantasize about these things. It’s bad enough that she keeps finding her way into Robin’s dreams. Bad enough they come to completion now instead of Robin being able to wake up and stop them. Worse that she would sometimes help herself out when the dream was really hot. 

It’s stupid and wrong but it feels right all at the same time. Because ever since that sleepover, ever since that note from a few days ago, Robin can’t help but think that there might be something else there. That there’s a small sliver of hope that she might have a chance. Nancy might like her back. 

And it all comes down to the things that are unexplained. The lip bite one only gives to a crush, leaning in, parted lips and all, so close that Robin can feel her breath on her lips. The fucking implied denial thought process in that note was too similar to what she went through a few years ago. It all made so much sense and none at the same time. 

She just wants to know what’s going on in Nancy’s head. Just for a little bit. Pry into the vault and see if she’s right, see if she should get over it or let it grow. Because it’s growing faster than wildflowers, and almost to the point of no return. If Robin doesn’t do something about it soon, it won’t end up good for either of them. 

. . . 

A True Worrier Nancy,

You really weren’t kidding when you said you were forever a worrier, but after knowing you, I can’t disagree with it. You just care too much about people and want to help them the best you can. That’s something to be proud of. 

As for what to do for Mike, all I can say is talk to him. He’s a sensitive kid, whether he admits to it or not, but you can tell. Behind all of that sass and moodiness is someone who cares a lot about his friends, especially Will. In the small interactions I’ve had with them, it seems like they have a bond that is really special. 

And Will is most definitely staying home from school today too. Can’t blame him though. If one of us had moved across the country, I’d do the same thing just to talk to you for hours. Just be gentle with him, don’t push, and let him know that you love him. It always helps to know that someone out there loves you. 

Love, 

Robin

(I think we hit that part of our friendship, but let me know if I stepped over a boundary or anything)

Nancy looks around the halls to make sure no one watching before rereading the signature again. Smiling stupidly she reads it over and over again. She knows that it’s not romantic, but she knows that it’s true. Robin loves her, even if it means just as a friend. Nancy’s not nearly ready for another romantic love to enter her life anyway, but if she thinks hard enough, Robin could be the next. 

It wouldn’t be a stretch to think that. They haven’t even kissed but Nancy’s already head over heels. Little things like this make her heart swell and her mind go fuzzy. So much so that she does something stupid that only resembles that of a middle schooler or a cheesy rom-com. Like biting her lip and walking away smiling. What is she fucking twelve? But she’d do it all over again to see the shocked, entranced gaze that Robin gave her. Do anything to get Robin’s eyes on her. 

Small moments like that made Nancy less worried about the letter that she sent. Less worried that she’s going to have to get over this. Because normal people don’t have to blink themselves back to consciousness after seeing someone walk down a hallway. But Robin sure did. 

There’s a small glimmer of hope in Nancy’s mind, that this could all work out. That maybe she and Robin could be more than friends. It’s something she wants more than she would ever admit. All she’s been thinking about is inviting Robin over again, maybe this time when her family is out of the house. Letting herself act on it and just kiss her, maybe even more. Just take what she wants, that’s always been something that she’s good at. 

But not yet, not until she’s sure. That was what the letter was for. 

When Nancy gets home, she hears talking from her room, so she knocks lightly, letting Mike know that she’s coming in. He’s sitting on the floor, still in his pajamas, talking to who she guesses is Will on the phone, with the largest smile on his face. It’s been a long time since he’s smiled like that, not even El got him to smile like that. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to be in here when you got home,” he says when she walks in. “I can leave if you want your room back.”

“No, it’s fine. I just need to grab something and I’ll go downstairs.” She smiles at him, ensuring that it’s ok. 

He nods. “Ok, I’ll only be on for a little longer. Promise.”

“Take all the time you need, Mike. I know you miss him.”

Nancy grabs a textbook from her desk and heads downstairs, joining Holly at the dining room table. She has to stop periodically to help her with her homework, but she doesn’t mind. A few minutes later, she realizes that she left some of her notecards up on her desk so she goes upstairs again to grab them. 

“I wish you were here, I hate doing long distance. I feel like we barely got a chance to be together before you had to move back again,” she hears Mike say through the crack of her door. 

Knocking quickly, she hears Mike change the conversation while she enters. “Sorry, just forgot some notes.”

“No that’s ok. We were done anyway. I’ll, uh, talk to you later, Will, ok.”

Mike hangs up the phone and closes his eyes, clearly pained. Nancy feels shitty for eavesdropping, but it’s not like she did it on purpose. “How long were you talking to Will today, dad’s going to be pissed about the phone bill.”

“Did you hear any of that, before you came in?”

Nancy drops her hands from where they were rummaging around in her drawer. She shuts it, turning around to look at Mike, arms hugging his knees while he looks up at her with pleading eyes. “Not if you didn’t want me to.” She can’t lie to him, not about this.

“So you heard me say, that me a Will were,” he juts his head forward with big eyes, filling in the word without saying it. 

“Yeah,” she admits with a sympathetic look

“Fuck,” he groans, letting his head hit his knees. 

“Hey, language.”

Mike stands up, arms crossed while his eyes go frantic. “I get to curse when I just,” he lowers his voice, “when I just basically outed myself to you.”

Nancy walks over to her door and shuts it, checking that no one’s in the hall to overhear. “You don’t have to hide that part of yourself with me. I don’t care who you love, Mike, just that you’re happy.”

“You don’t care- you don’t care that I’m gay,” he whispers, so quiet he can barely hear. 

“No, no I don’t. I care because it’s a part of who you are, but I don’t love you differently because you are.” She walks over to him, placing her hands on his shoulder. 

“I didn’t want to be like this, tried so hard not to be. But, but when El moved away, it wasn’t her I missed. I mean, I did miss her, like a hell of a lot, just not as much as Will. I thought I was crazy, that something was wrong with me, that I cared more that he was ignoring me than that she was lying to me. It wasn’t until, until he gave me a painting of the four of us that I realized. I didn’t love El, not like that. “

Nancy smiles at him. “And that’s ok. You’re ok being gay, Mike. You’re still you, inside and out.”

She pulls him into a hug, whether he wants one or not. But when he shifts to squeeze her tightly, she knows that he needs it. “Thank you. For not, like, freaking out and telling Mom or something.”

“I don’t tell mom half the shit she thinks I do. No way I would tell her this.” She pauses. 

“You know you don’t have to say you’re gay just because you like Will now, you could still like girls if you do.”

Mike nods. “Yeah, I know. Just not sure if I do.”

“And that’s ok. And uh, since we’re sharing. I- like girls, too, as well as boys.”

“You have a crush on Robin don’t you?” He says fast with a smug smile on his face

Nancy gapes, feeling her face heat up. “Shut up, no I don’t.”

“You totally do, look at your face. You’re like a tomato.”

“Shut up, no I am not. Now get out of here, and take a shower, you reek.”

Mike sticks his tongue out at her while walking out of the room, giving her one last appreciative smile before he shut the door behind him. 

She’s left standing alone in her empty room, smiling to herself. Another person knows, she doesn’t have to hide from someone else. It’s a weird feeling going from barely being able to accept it at all, to wanting to share it with other people. Well, other people she knows will be accepting. But it’s nice, to share that part of herself with someone else. She almost regrets telling Robin in a letter rather than in person. 

. . . 

My Favorite Overthinker Robin,

We have totally hit that stage where we can say I love you to each other. I mean it’s true, right? You’re my best friend and I love you. So yeah, I think we’re at that stage where we can say it. 

Also, I talked to Mike. It actually wasn’t that hard but I think that was more because I had accidentally overheard some of the conversation he was having with Will. I really did overhear it, I don’t eavesdrop on my brother, only people who deserve to be eavesdropped on. But it’s all good now and I know why he was feeling so down. I think he’ll get better soon, but my dad is surely going to have a fit over the phone bill this month.

But anyway, how are you doing? I miss you which is weird because I only saw you a few days ago. We should hang out again. It’s been really nice to have someone else in my room other than me. And I don’t mean that in any way, I just tend to isolate myself in there most of the time. So having another person to isolate with, it’s nice. 

Love, 

Nancy

Robin has to get herself together. She can’t keep doing this loop in her head over, and over, and over again. Can’t keep blushing and needing to run a fucking lap every time Nancy does something remotely attractive. Or saying that she loves her. Which is totally not in a romantic way at all, completely platonic. With a capital p. 

The only problem is that she doesn’t want it to be. Platonic that is. She’s so far past the denial phase it’s not even funny. She’s so far past the normal crush phase it’s not even funny. And it fucking sucks. So much that she can’t even breathe sometimes. It just hurts so damn much to want something so bad and know you’ll never be able to have it. 

Except she’s not entirely sure that it’s so out of reach anymore. With the way Nancy’s been acting, it’s hard not to notice. Robin may be shit at social cues, but she knows how to pick up differences from behaviors she’s studied. And she’s studied Nancy’s. Paid attention to every little eye movement and line on her face. Made sure to know the signs of when she was upset, happy, or stressed. Everything. This was new. 

Now Nancy was saying that she missed her after only a few days of talking to each other in person. Which, shouldn’t be weird, but it is. It reminds her of that couple that just got together a week ago and can’t keep their hands to themselves even when it means just going to class. It’s not friendly. She’s had that before with Steve, but that was in the immediate aftermath of an upside down attack where she literally thought he was dead if he wasn’t right next to her. That was justified. This wasn’t that. 

The fact is, this is weird. This is new, odd, something she can’t seem to figure out. Robin never really knew Nancy when she was in love. Never had time to see what endearment attraction looked like on Nancy’s face. What Nancy was like with the person she cared about the most. Something about the past few days indicated to her that she might have started to see it but didn’t notice it. 

But even then, she can’t help but imagine what it would look like, to be the person Nancy cared about, and was attracted to. Imagining the look she gives Nancy reflected back at her, until the tears form in her eyes enough to make it fade away. Picturing what their kisses could be like a million times, and not being able to help thinking about what it would be like going forward. Robin always feeling immense guilt afterward. She’s tried to stop, but she can’t. 

She’s had crushes on girls before, but never like this. Never where she actually knows the person enough to form a real friendship outside of school. None where they knew every bit of Robin and still didn’t turn away. Not ever looking at Robin the way Nancy does. 

And what’s worse, Robin misses Nancy too, just in the way she described it. She liked the feeling of being with someone, even if it didn’t mean what she wanted it to. It all just makes her want to believe that this could be real, that she isn’t making it up. But she just can’t be sure of it. 

. . . 

Wonderful Nancy,

Guilty as charged. I am an overthinker at heart. Always have and always will be. About literally anything, all the time, every day. It’s exhausting, let me tell you. 

I kind of miss you too, which is super weird. I’ve never had that happen with any of my other friendships, unless I needed to make sure they weren’t dying. But I like being around you. I feel like we could be doing absolutely nothing and still be fully entertained at the same time. I only have that feeling with a few people, you included now. But even then, it’s different with you. I don’t know why. 

I actually had something to ask you. My parents are going out of town this weekend which means I will have an empty house. Normally I would just spend it at Steve’s, I don’t really like being alone in an empty house. But ever since he and Eddie have started dating and are inseparable, I do not want to accidentally witness something that I definitely don’t want to. So, I got permission from my parents to have you over, if you want to. 

So just let me know if you can or if I have to buy earplugs. 

Love,

Robin

. . . 

Dearest Robin,

I would love to come over this weekend. That sounds so fun. We can have an all-nighter movie night or something. Or not. Whatever you want. It’s weird, I haven’t been to your house yet. Well inside of it. I dropped you off that one time, but I didn’t go in. Maybe I’ll be the one to snoop around your room this time. Payback. 

And yeah, I also would not want to be in that house while they're both there. Especially with how close the guest bedroom is to his. You have the possibility of hearing some weird things. Even though they would hopefully not do anything when you are there. I don’t think they would, but better to be safe than sorry. And this was we get to hang out, so yay. 

Excited for this weekend,

Nancy

. . . 

When Friday rolls around, Robin grabs the mail as she walks up to her house. Throwing the stack on the table, she heads to her room to clean it a bit. Picking up the stray clothes off of the floor, making her bed. Trying to make the clutter look nice and throwing her makeup in a drawer instead of just leaving it strewn out on the desk. It’ll never really look as neat and tidy as Nancy’s, but it doesn’t matter. This was her. 

Robin’s never really had a lot of people in her room before, not really at all when she figured out her own style. The only person really was Steve, and his room is boring as shit so he can’t say anything. And Dustin had come over once too with Erica. But this was different somehow. 

It was like her walls would be officially stripped down and Nancy would see all of who she is. Nothing else would be hidden, even though this is like the least important thing about her. But it was still her. 

She hears a knock at the door and does a quick once-over in her mirror to make sure she looks ok, before running down the hall to open it. Nancy stands there with a plate of cookies in her hand and a bag slung across her shoulder. 

“Robbie, hey.” Nancy greets her with the biggest smile. “My mom sent cookies, hope that’s ok.”

“Who am I to reject cookies? Come in.” Robin steps aside, letting Nancy through the door. “You can put those down in the kitchen, it’s just straight through there.”

They walk over to the kitchen, Nancy setting the plate down and then resting her bag on a chair. It isn’t a second longer before Nancy pulls Robin into a hug, squeezing her tight. Fitting like she belongs against Robin’s chest, sitting there for far longer than she should. Making Robin’s heart flutter as she wraps her arms around Nancy, holding her close. 

“It’s nice seeing you again,” Nancy says as she pulls back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Even though I just saw you a few days ago, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Robin says almost breathless. “I do.”

“So, what do you want to do?”

Robin shrugs. “I don’t know, we could watch some movies, play some games, just talk. Anything really.”

“I’m fine with just talking for a while. We could go to your room or something. I can fulfill my promise of snooping around.”

“Yeah ok.” Robin leads her down the hall to her bedroom, pointing out the bathroom on the way. “It’s not as nice as yours is, but I like it.”

Nancy steps into the room, looking around and taking it all in. “It seems very you. I think that’s all that matters.”

They fall into a natural conversation, talking about school and what happened in the last few days. Robin complaining about work and Nancy adding on with her own stories. Apparently, the town has gotten tired of reading about the earthquake so she’s back to writing about sports and mystery meats. Well, not full articles about mystery meat, but topics that are less important than talking about the relief efforts that are still happening. 

A few hours later Robin orders a pizza, which they sit and eat in front of the TV. Robin slides in a random movie, just letting it play in the background while they eat and talk. Eventually, Robin gets up to make some popcorn, and that’s when she sees it. 

A letter hiding beneath a pile of bills that has familiar handwriting, Nancy’s handwriting. Pushing the other mail out of the way, she picks it up and looks at the postmark, yesterday. How could she have missed this? She curses herself for forgetting to get the mail yesterday. And again when the microwave dings just as the popcorn is about to burn. Pushing the letter aside, she promises to read it later, scared to do it now. While Nancy’s in the other room. 

When they get back to watching the movie, all Robin can think about is that letter. What could be inside? What was so different from their notes that Nancy had to send a letter at all? Was it even special, or just like the others? But something in her heart told her that it was, special. There was no other explanation. 

Nancy yawns, leaning closer to Robin and cuddling up with the blanket they were sharing. A few minutes later, her head brushes against Robin’s shoulder before she jolts back upright. That small movement was enough to shoot sparks down her arm. She wishes her head was still there, resting against her shoulder. Maybe then she could casually drape her arm across the back of the couch like one of those stupid guy moves that seemed to work. Maybe then, Nancy would be closer. 

“Hey,” Robin whispers when Nancy’s head starts to drop again. “We can go to bed if you want.”

“That would be nice,” she responds with another yawn. 

They get up, Robin going to the bathroom to brush her teeth while Nancy gets changed. Nancy said that they could just change in the same room with their backs turned to each other, but Robin couldn’t deal with the thought of that. Being in the same room with Nancy knowing that the layers of clothes were almost completely removed. Knowing that with one turn of her head, she could fill in the blanks her head has been trying to for so long. 

Nancy goes to the bathroom when Robin comes back, leaving her to change. She changes into the baggy T-shirt and shorts she likes to sleep in, sitting on her bed, waiting for Nancy to return. When she does, Robin turns off her lamp as they start to fall asleep. Nancy’s breathing quickly shallows and the slight snore starts coming out of Nancy’s lips. Robin wishes that she could fall asleep that fast as well, but that letter prevents her from doing so. 

. . . 

Nancy wakes up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Quickly falling back into the warmth of Robin’s bed when she comes back. Letting herself face Robin, admiring the soft features she can see in the dark.

She has to admit that she was a little disappointed when she showed up. There was a small hope that by now, Robin had gotten her letter. And that when Nancy came over, they could talk it out and hopefully her feelings would be reciprocated. But it has only been a few days, and she knows she missed the last pickup when she sent it. So it was possible that Robin didn’t even get it yet, but she still hoped. 

Maybe it will come tomorrow, but she’s not sure how she would react to that. The whole point of the letter was that it could be read while she wasn’t there, while there was no chance that she would know until she got a letter of her own. But at the moment, she doesn’t care about that at all. 

All she wants is for Robin to know so that she can look at her properly in the light without fear. So that maybe when they fall asleep next to each other, she doesn’t have to blame her sleep patterns for the reason why they’re so close. 

. . . 

Robin wakes up the next morning from the sun streaming in from the window. Groaning, she gets out of bed to close the curtain she forgot to last night, planning on just falling back into bed and curling up, falling back asleep. But when she turns around, she sees Nancy sleeping, hand clutching the blankets close to her and her legs curled up in front of her. She wishes she never got up at all, just rolling over to see this first. Letting herself scoot a little closer and fall back asleep next to Nancy. 

But of course, she got up, which meant she now had to use the bathroom, the bathroom light getting rid of any sleep left in her system. She decides to head to the kitchen and make her and Nancy some breakfast while she still sleeps. As she’s starting the coffee pot, she spies the letter she found last night, sitting there taunting her. She had promised herself to read it when Nancy left since she figured that she wouldn’t have a moment alone to do so. But now, with Nancy still peacefully sleeping down the hall, it was too tempting not to read. 

Carefully, she unseals the letter and slides it out, starting to read. 

My Dearest, Robin,

I honestly have no clue why I’m even writing this. It’s a rash decision really, but I know if I don’t do it now, I’m afraid I never will. And I know that if I don’t just send it, I’ll rip it up and it’ll be gone. So I’m sending this through the mail with, hopefully, no regrets. I’m not even going to read this over after I’m done writing it, so I hope it all makes sense. 

I’ve always done things by the books. Followed the rules, got the grades, and made sure that everything was perfect. Sure, I messed up a few times, broke a few rules when I needed to, but for the most part, I was what was expected of me. Up until I met you. 

There’s always been parts of my life that I knew society wasn’t going to like. The fact that I don’t want kids being one of them and that I want to work as long as I possibly can. I like guns too much for a woman and have a shot that would make most men outraged. I’m headstrong, confident, not afraid to push back. And those are things I am proud of, and those things would be more accepted than this. 

Like I said, I’ve always done things by the book, but I’m not quite sure if I’m in the book at all anymore. There’s something about me that I just found out, something that I know won’t be accepted in this town. It was hard figuring it out, and I didn’t want to believe it to be true. But when we started getting close, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I couldn’t get you out of my head. 

It’s funny, I’ve been friends with girls most of my life. But never one that has made me question myself like you have. I’ve had boyfriends that were meaningful and my feelings for them were real, so for the longest time, I thought that those feelings were all I was going to feel. But then, someone new, someone different, found their way into my heart and I couldn’t ignore it. I wasn’t who I thought I was, and it was scary. But not so scary that I pushed myself to forget it all entirely. 

What I’m trying to say is that I like you. In a more than a friend way. I don’t quite know what that means for us, but it’s true. I’ve known for a few weeks now that there was something different between us than a normal friendship. That I felt more for you than I should. That I had a crush on you. It wasn’t until I talked to Steve just now that I realized that this was even a thing I could do. That I could like both men and women. But that had to be true, because I liked you. 

I hope you don’t think I’m weird after this. I know when you came out to me, you were so worried that I would think you liked me just because you were a lesbian. But I guess that was turned the other way around. Me liking you instead. 

I want you to know that I don’t want there to be any change in our relationship, unless you feel the same that is. A part of me really thinks and hopes that you do, most of me actually. I want to be more than friends with you. I want to date you, whatever that would look like for us. And I really hope you want that too. But if you don’t, I understand. 

With all my love,

Nancy ♥️

Robin stands there awestruck in her kitchen, the first few words just enough to make her heart start beating out of her chest. She knows enough about grammar to know that a simple comma can mean many things, and here it changed the meaning. And then the words just continued. Nancy bearing her heart out on paper, too scared to say any of it for real. 

Nancy likes her, like really likes her. She’s bisexual, it seems from what she wrote. And she likes Robin. So much so that she sent the most lovely written letter that Robin’s ever received. A love letter, even. It’s all too much as she reads it again, the sincerity of the words bringing tears to her eyes. The feeling of being liked back, finally, by someone she so deeply cares about. 

She has no idea where to go from here, no idea what to do after this. Part of her always figured that it would be her who confessed. She would finally speak her mind, either accidentally or on purpose, and get rejected. But here, Nancy took that first step, that risk. Much like Nancy would, she always took the first shot. So here was Robin standing in her kitchen with the letter in her hand, wondering what shot she was going to take. 

Would she talk to Nancy in person? Wait for her to fully wake up and then just blurt it out. Tell her that she’s liked her almost from the beginning and that there’s no world in which she wouldn’t want this too. But she feels too nervous to even begin to think of what to say. Or if she could even say it at all. So she grabs a pen and paper from the junk drawer and just starts to write, hoping that the words get across just like Nancy’s did. And with a shaky hand, she signs it and leaves it on the table, hoping that Nancy will read it. 

[bisexualfemalemess]

*HSMTMTS SEASON 4 SPOILERS*

Gonna make seperate posts for episode 7 and eight because they’re so long and i would write like a whole book about them. So let’s get started with episode 7

WHAT IS HAPPENING? PRESS CONFERENCE?? GINA IS GOING TO NEW ZEALAND? With mack?! FUCK THIS! Not terri waiting on ricky as he’s climbing through gina’s window 😭😭😭 Fuck off with your mack bullshit. “I don’t personally have anything against you.” Bitch why you tryna start a beef then? EAT HER UP RICKY “are you planning on showing up for her tonight?” PROTECTIVE BOYFRIEND EXCELLENCE. AWUSUSUSU TELL HER YOU LOVE HER FIRST ITS WHAT SHE WANTS YOU MIND READER! Not miss jenn and gina talking about ricky not saying i love you yet. THAT PURPLE DRESS IS FUCKING GORGEOUS!! OMG. WOAH BENJAMIN AS COACH BOLTON LMAO. Not her casually checking if he’s dating anyone. Aww Ricky continuing nini’s tradition for her, they’re definitely better as friends. Aww, ej coming to see his friends. Aww, big red too. Ej supporting ash and maddox we stan. Aww, so glad seb and carlos are back together. Aww, he got ‘em a round-trip. Dani is playing tiara gold, fits. Did i mention that i love the relationship between Kourtney and her mom? Because i do. Hahaha not jet asking if kourtney’s mom remembered her, he’s so awkward with her, he’s as whipped as ricky. OOH, THEY BOTH WANNA TELL EACH OTHER THEIR THINGS. Madddox, coming in and interrupting and turning off the lights. The awkward laugh after ashlyn’s joke, they’re in love. Aww, rina meeting up in the dressing room at intermission so he can tell her he loves her and she can mention she’s leaving :( Also, the amount of kisses this season between them. INSANE. RINI COULD NEVER. Not mack :| naww, ricky holding her flowers. NOT HIM MOCKING MACK, HE’S A MENACE. Aww, Ricky telling miss Jenn he loves her, he’s on a trip rn. WAIT, MISS JENN GOT WICKED?! WAIT, MIKE AND LYNN ARE BACK TOGETHER???!!! Gina loves touching ricky’s face, just something i noticed throughout the season and rn during now or never. DEWEY WOOD?! He’s a madlyn shipper, as he should. Dani back away from ricky, please. He’s not having it 😭 RINA TROYELLA, THEY’RE SERVING! Terri actually showed up, wow. My babies. Aww, gina’s thinking about real life while playing gabriella. Give rina a happy end, pls tim. Aww, glad portwell got some closure even if she took away the one thing they have ashsjsusuusdshdududusu. She doesn’t want to ruin his night, aww. Rina supremacy. I love maddie and jet. Aww, jet’s such a cutie. “It feels like the stage should be afraid of you.”Bf. I want it all kinda served. ANTOINE?!!! NOT THE MIDDLE FINGER TO BIG RED SUSUSUSYSH THIS SEASOJ IS SO GOOD AND CHAOTIC. Not maddie practicing her confession to ash and then seeing her pretend she’s still with red. AWW RICKY PRACTICING HOW TO TELL GINA HE LOVES HER TO HIS PARENTS IM ON THE FLOOR. YES, WRITE HER A SONG. AHH NIGHT TO REMEMBER SISISUSUDUSU. WHY IS TERRI JUST WALKING IN AND OUT JUST STAY FOR YOUR DAUGHTER LIKE?! NOT SEB KISSING CARLOS IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CROWD AND COMING OUT TO HIS DAD. Anyways, endgame. Aww, another rina kiss and her touching his face again, my children. Wait, who’s gonna go play coach bolton now that mazzara can’t? NOT GINA HAVING TO GO MEET QUINN WHILE RICKY IS GOING TO THE DRESSING ROOM TO TEL HER HE LOVES HER. Terri looks so happy telling him gina’s leaving??? AND THEN ADDING WITH MACK “i really am sorry, ricky.” Girl, no, you’re not. OMG THE WAY RICKY WHISPERED I LOVE TOU INTO THE EMPTY ROOM, I’M CRYING

[notanacousticsetcal]

run to you - luke hemmings

summary - luke realizes his feelings for you after tragedy strikes and all he wants to do is run to you. 

warnings - nerves, grief, mention of a car accident

word count - 1.7k

a/n - i dont know what this is or if i like it but if it does well i’ll make a part 2 lmao

Copyright © 2020 @notanacousticsetcal. All rights reserved.

The icy glass of the passenger window was cold against your forehead and you felt the soft hum of the car vibrate against your skin. The snow was starting to stick to the concrete outside and you felt the urge to jump out of the car and make snow angels.

Anxiety and nerves continued to swell in the pit of your stomach as Maya drove, bringing you closer and closer to the very last place you wanted to be. 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. You did want to see your friends. You hadn’t seen Ash, Mike or Cal in several months due to the circumstances and you also had isolated yourself from your other friends, Maya being pretty much the only person you talked to consistently. Maya was actually bringing you closer and closer to the very last person you wanted to see.

He’d probably be with his new girlfriend, looking all smug and cocky, and you’d be glued to Maya’s side all night, trying not to make eye contact with him or the thin model he had on his arm. 

“We’re here.” Maya pulled you abruptly out of your thoughts and you realized that the car had, in fact, stopped and you would have to get out and face everyone in a minute. 

Maya saw the worry in your eyes and gave your arm a squeeze. “Doll, you got this, alright? You look hot and you're gonna go in there and show Luke what he coulda had, okay?”

You sighed and looked up at Maya with glassy eyes. “I don’t know if I can face him, M.”

“Oh sweetie.” She tugged you quickly into a tight hug and scolded softly into your ear. “He’s not worth any more tears. I know you’re ready for this and I’ll be right there with you the entire time.” She pulled away from you, her hands still gripping your shoulders. “Alright?’

You nodded in understanding and blinked away your tears. You pulled down the sun visor to give yourself one last look and took a deep breath. You got this.

The snow crunched softly under your booties as you approached the front door. Bile began to rise in your throat and your palms got all sweaty but you kept your face stoic and calm. He would not get the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. 

Maya lifted a ring clad hand and gave a few strong knocks before someone called “coming!”

Excitement swelled in you because you knew who that voice belonged to. 

A tall brunette with soft, brown puppy eyes opened the door, beer in hand. “You guys made it!” Calum tugged you in by your shoulders, wrapping you in the biggest bear hug you’d ever experienced. “I missed you, tiny.”

“Cal, I missed you too. So much.” He felt you sniffle and immediately pulled you away from him, concern written on his face. 

“Hey! No tears on New Years.” He immediately began to chuckle to himself.

You stared at him, trying to appear unimpressed and hiding the smile fighting it's way onto your face. “You’re laughing because you rhymed, aren’t you.”

He nodded softly and pulled you under his arm, guiding you and Maya through the door.

“Look who’s here!” Cal smiled proudly, presenting you and Maya to the crowd and you blushed a deep shade of red, hiding your face in Calum’s chest.

Mike immediately engulfed your smaller figure into a giant hug and rambled on about how much he missed you and Crystal kept trying to fight for her turn. You wrapped your arms tightly around her and apologized for not being around as much anymore and then you felt even worse when she started crying, but she insisted that it wasn’t a big deal, she just missed you. 

Next came Ash and KayKay who each gave you warm and welcoming hugs and you talked to them for a while, catching up on their lives and letting them in a little on yours. They insisted that you and Maya get coffee with them sometime and you agreed, so happy that they didn’t take your leave of absence personally. You didn’t want them to feel caught in the middle or that they had to choose between you and Luke once things had escalated 6 months ago. 

You greeted the rest of the party, your eyes finally landing on Luke only to find he was already staring at you. You immediately looked down and then cursed yourself for being so passive.

6 months ago, you confessed your feelings for Luke in Michael’s backyard at a party and nothing had been the same since. You were so sure he felt the same way but as soon as the words came out of your mouth, he clammed up and stopped talking to you. It was some of the worst pain you’d ever felt. Not only the pain of rejection from someone you had romantic feelings for, but also the pain of losing your best friend. 

You had gotten a good look at the girl tucked under his arm. She had shorter blonde hair and tanned skin and the build of a Victoria’s Secret model. A stereotypically gorgeous girl -- the type you often compared yourself to. It made you think about all the things she had that you didn’t. Luke picked her over you.

About 2 hours into the night -- it was close to 9 now -- you sat on the couch with Maya watching Ashton act something out in charades. 

Luke’s phone starts ringing from across the room. You know it's his because his ringtone is spongebob music. He sits up, pushing the blonde girls legs off of his lap and excusing himself to take the call. He seemed concerned, but you told yourself it wasn’t your job to worry about him anymore. 

About 20 minutes had gone by and Luke hadn’t returned which was a little worrisome. 

You sat up from the couch and grabbed your glass to go get a refill from the kitchen, attempting to push Luke out of your mind.

“Want anything?” You asked Maya. She shook her head, “I’m good, thanks.”

You padded down the hall, your feet bare, and grabbed the wine bottle left open on the counter. The red liquid slowly funneled out of the glass and you practically jumped out of your skin when you saw Luke standing in the doorway. You had to stop yourself from looking down at his black button up or the patch of exposed pale skin peaking through the unbuttoned top of it. 

You were trying to decide whether to scold him for scaring you or ignore him when you noticed how puffy and red his eyes were and how empty he looked. 

“Hi…” You said, not really sure how else to approach this situation. He was really worrying you. 

Luke ran a hand through his hair and approached the island. With a screech, he pulled one of the stools out and plopped himself down on it. His head immediately fell into his hands and he let out an exasperated groan, shaking his head slowly back and forth. 

You stood there, uncomfortable and in shock, without a single clue on what to do with the sad boy in front of you. It didn’t feel right to leave him there after he approached you first so you stood there awkwardly, taking a big swig of the fresh red wine in your glass to fight the anxious ramble you were sure to let out soon if he didn’t say anything. 

After a minute of painful silence, Luke picked his head up and looked at you. Because he was so close, you could really see his pink tear stained cheeks and his glassy eyes. You tried to ignore how your heart broke for him -- you were supposed to be over him.

“Just got a call from my mum,” he said. His throat bobbed and he licked his lips. 

You gave him a quizzical look, expecting him to continue.

“My uh -- god.” Luke shook his head and gripped his hair tightly. He sucked in a sharp breath. “My brother, Ben, and his wife got in a car accident about an hour ago.” 

You gasped, clapping a hand to your mouth. You had met Ben several times since you and Luke had known each other. Always a kind soul and the life of the party. “Oh my god. Is he alright?”

Luke’s bottom lip began to quiver and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and middle finger. You could tell it was taking everything in him to hold his composure. “He’s in a coma. They don’t know if or when he’ll come out of it.” 

Without a second thought, you practically ran around the island to Luke and pulled him tightly into a hug. He melted into you, both his arms folding over your shoulders and his face tucking into the crook of your neck. Immediately, your shirt began to dampen with the tears he stopped trying to hold back and you ran your hands up and down his back soothingly. “I’m so, so sorry, Lu.” There was nothing you could say to make his hurt go away, all you could do was be there.

He tried to keep his sobs quiet so the others wouldn’t come looking, but even his soft cries were the most tortured sounds you’d ever heard. Hearing his pain brought tears to your eyes.

“Lu, god, Lu, I’m so sorry,” you repeated, holding his head and placing a kiss on his shoulder.

After a few minutes, his sobs ceased and he began to pull back from you, sniffling. You handed him a tissue and he gladly accepted, giving you the most genuine smile he could muster in the moment. 

“I’m sorry for unloading that on you.” He kicked his feet under the counter distractedly. 

You shook your head. “You don’t need to apologize.” 

Luke laughed bitterly. “Yeah, yeah I do. What I did to you… I regret it every single day.”

You shifted your feet uncomfortably. “We don’t have to talk about that.”

“Yes, yes we do. Because… because I lost my best friend.” You looked down at your fingers and fiddled with your rings anxiously. “Now might not be the most ideal time to say this, but I feel like I have to. Not only did I lose my best friend… but I’ve always loved you too. My feelings for you are so strong that my first instinct was to run. I was afraid of losing myself in you. Or the kind of heartbreak I’d experience if I ever lost you. But not trying is so much worse and I know that now.” Luke bit his lip. “I love you. And I don’t think I even fully realized it until 20 minutes ago when I got the worst news I’ve probably ever received in my life... and the first thing I wanted to do was run to you.”

[haderpjs]

Eddie lives.

But Richie at the beginning isn’t allowed to see him, (no one is, obviously, he’s under surgery) the losers try to take him to the Town House so he can sleep and change his filthy clothes, they try, more than once each, until Richie finally agrees.

Eddie had more than one surgery, Richie wasn’t paying so much attention to what the doctors were saying to them. All the things they had to do to save Eddie's life sounded numb and far away because he was occupied thinking on how he might be so close to losing Eddie a g a i n, after just having got him back.

Now clean and rested (not really he couldn’t sleep more than two hours because he made the mistake of entering to Eddie’s room and see the blood all over the bathroom floor) he is finally allowed to see Eddie, it’s been almost 10 hours since they first brought Eddie to the hospital. It hurts to see his dearest friend all pale and weak and tied to diverse devices and machines but it’s a million times better than what he saw in the deadlights.

They stay all the hours the doctors allow them to, when the night comes he’s the only one who doesn’t go back to the Town House. He stays besides Eddie because he is afraid of leaving his friend alone, he is afraid of Edie dying even when the doctors said he was in no danger anymore, he can’t leave Eddie, he can’t lose him after he just got him back, -you don’t ‘got him’ don’t be stupid, he is married and you know it- he tells himself.

Richie sits on the chair besides Eddie’s bed, since the bed is taller he can rest his head on the mattress. He knows he should put his glasses on the table but he finds himself being comfortably at peace por once since he arrived to Derry and he might not want to fall asleep but he is so tired, without realizing or thinking much about it his body is already reaching out for Eddie’s, Richie holds his friend’s hand and lets the [beep beep beep] of the heart rate monitor drift him to sleep, -it’s practically the sound of Eddie’s heart- he tinks and sure it isn’t the most comfortable position but he won’t let go of Eddie’s hand.

He wakes up in the middle of the night all startled and alarmed, he adjusts his crooked glasses and once his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room and then he can see how the dim glow from outside lightens Eddie’s facial features, Richie feels like crying for the nth time since he woke up from the deadlights. And jus now he had dreamed what he saw in those fucking magic demonic lights.

‘‘Hey Eds, you ...  you have to wake up man’‘ his voice is barely a whisper

[beep beep beep]

‘‘Not like, right now I know you’re on a lot of drugs and very weak from the surgeries but-huh’‘ he whimpers and tries to calm himself

-Of couse Eddie will wake up, we killed that fucking demonic clown, we won, and we remember each other and we’ll not forget this time!-

‘‘y’know you’re the strongest person I know right?, and you’re so brave Eds, I hope you know I meant what I said down there in the sewers, you are braver than you believe you are’‘

-Eddie will wake up and I’ll tell him how brave he is to his face until he believes it-

‘‘But you’re an Idiot too’‘ he can’t contain the little giggle that escapes his mouth

‘‘Why did you save me?’‘ he asks to the unconscious man lying in fron of him

[beep beep beep]

-It should’ve been me- that thought is been in Richie’s head since they were draggind Eddie outside from neitbolt.

He was the one with the stupid trashmouth that got himself in the deadlights and he probably should have died with his brains fried or whatever. It sucked that Eddie had to rescue him only to nearly die impaled. If Richie just hadn’t acted stupidily. But he knows Eddie did it because they are best friends, the same way Eddie would have done it for Bill or any other of the losers, Richie also knows he would have done the same thing, bitch he did what he did because Mike was about to die and even if it wasn’t the most smart thing to do he’d do that again just so Mike or any other of his friends wouldn't die.

[beep beep beep]

‘‘Why did that fucking clown had to hurt you?’‘ He lets out a sob and burries his head on the space between Eddie’s arm and the right side of his torso

-to hurt me, It did it because he knew my secret, always knew and It did it in front of my eyes, because he knew my dirty little secret because It knew one of my biggest fears is losing you-

Sure the moment pennywise died Eddie’s bleeding had stopped and when they put Eddie in the ambulance Richie is sure the hole in his chest wasn't as big as pennywise claw must’ve first pierced through Eddie’s chest, but Eddie still lost plenty blood and the internal damage still was there. He wishes Eddie’s injury had dissapeared the moment they killed that demonic clown.

‘‘I know you’re out of danger now but you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t have to, for ANY reason, especially not for me’‘

[beep beep beep]

He hated himself for being the cause Eddie was now lying almost lifeless on a hospital bed, with a big-ass scar on his chest and back, not to mention who knows how many months of physical therapy ahead of him.

‘‘Eds, I am so happy you’re alive, umm I thought-’’ he whimpers

‘’I thought I had lost you, when we were dragging you out and you wouldnt wake up, I held your almost lifeless body on my arms and it felt fucking horrible’‘ a deep breath escapes his mouth

[beep beep beep]

‘‘it felt like my life was being drawn away from me’‘ he lifts his hands and presses his palms under his glasses against his eyelids

[beep beep beep]

The only sound in the room was Richie’s pained voice and the constant [beep beep beep] of the machine, not that he was expecting Eddie to wake up and reply, but he was so used to Eddie always replying to him, most of the times some annoyed comebacks because of Richie’s jokes about Mrs. K, sometimes just Eddie’s giggles at Richie’s most stupid jokes, and the good ones too.

‘‘Because since the moment I remembered you, I felt like the most alive person on earth’‘

[beep beep beep]

‘‘I didn't know I missed you so much until I saw you’‘

[beep beep beep]

‘‘The void in my heart took your form after my brain reclaimed your name’

[beep beep beep] ‘

‘‘I want you in my life forever’‘ -and the rest of the losers of course-

[beep beep beep]

‘‘i don’t think I can make it another 27 years without your- friendship being a constan in my life’‘

[beep beep beep] 

Richie thinks about confessing his feeling to Eddie, since well... Eddie wasn’t really listening and also, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever had the guts to do it when Eddie was actually listening, and if he ever dared to tell him how he felt, well... Eddie was married anyway and he had a life in NY, Richie would have to conform with Eddie’s friendship.

Eventually Richie fell asleep again, he didn’t dreamed about Eddie’s death this time, he dreamed they were fifteen again and they were on the hammock reading comics and annoying the shit out of each other. Until an ugly whiny voice woke him up.

‘‘[I AM HIS WIFE and I have all the right to see him!]’‘

Richie could see the shadow on the closed curtains of the window that a nurse was standing between the door and a woman, blocking her way in.

‘‘[Mrs. Kaspbrak I understand you are concerned about your husband but I already told you he is stable and these are not visit hours]’‘

-SHITSHITSHITSHIT EDDIE’S WIFE IS HERE-

Richie stood up from the chair and started pacing the room, he had stayed past visit hours and he wasn't supposed to, but since the nurse that came last night into the room to check Eddie’s vitals didn’t say a word he supposed it wouldn’t be a problem if he slept there.

Now he had no way of sneaking out of the room and they were going to find him in there and honestly, he didn’t care if the doctors disapproved his actions, he didn't want to see Eddie’s wife, but he didn’t want to leave Eddie’s side just so Mrs. Kaspbrak would take his place

-It is NOT your place! stop it!!!-

‘‘FFFFUCK’‘ he muttered

‘‘[... else do you need me to sign?, I am going to demand this hospital if you refuse to let me see my husband]’‘

‘’fuck Eds she really is Sonia 2.0, Jesus man what did you got yourself into?’‘ Richie whispered towards Eddie

‘‘[... and sorry I don’t mean to be rude, I am just very *hiccups* very worried abut my husband and i just need to see him, I haven't seen him since he left three days ago, pleease even if it’s just 5 minutes I need to see him!, you can’t imagine the pain I was in when i found out he!- *wimpers*]’‘

Richie reaches out for Eddie’s hand and sqeezes it, Eddie looks so peaceful now and he really can't hold himself out, he leans down and pressed a kiss to Eddie's forehead.

He was just leaning back up when the door opened

‘‘You can stay but when the Doctor comes in for the routinely check-ups you'll have to leave, that gives you about 20 minutes-’‘ the nurse stopps when she sees Richie standing beside Eddie’s bed.

‘‘Oh!, I didn't thought-’‘ anyone would be here

‘‘No i was just le-’‘ Richie doesn’t finish because Myra interrupts him, walking towards Eddie’s bed while observing Richie’s being very meticulously

‘’WHO ARE YOU?’’ Myra demands looking at Richie now with a flash of disgust on her face

Richie doen’t like how demanding she sounds, and he certainly doesnt like how she’s looking at him, he feels vulnerable and he feels exposed like he just got caught doing something that he isn't supposed to, allowed to. He hates it.

‘’No one, I am leaving’‘ He answers almost very apathetic and walks down past them towards the door. Hands on his pockets and head slightly facing down

‘‘are you one of Eddie’s friends?. He said he came to visit some friends, were you with him when this happened to him?’‘

He stops in the door frame but doesn't turn to face her

‘‘Yeah’‘... -yes I was there and I didn’t do enough to keep him from being hurt, yes it’s my fault he’s there ... -

Richie leaves the room.

[in-my-clown-era]

OH MY GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I’VE POSTED AND I’M SO SORRY BUT GUESS WHAAAAAAT

⚠️this talks about canon events but is changed a little bit to fit more into reddie so if you don’t want to read that this is your warning it doesn’t strictly follow canon i absolutely changed things up⚠️

The next days went by quick, Beverly was leaving, Eddie had gotten a new Walkman and all he played was fucking Footloose—that fucking dork, Richie would complain about Eddie enjoying it but walking into the clubhouse to see Eddie lip synching to “Let’s Hear it For the Boy” was all worth it up until him and Eddie raced for the hammock. They ended up sharing. That wants important though, okay Richie thought it was, but the fact that they had cut their hands open and swapped blood should have been more important...oddly enough it wasn’t. Richie was a teenager in love. The next few years were quick, the losers slowly leaving their town until it was just Richie, Mike and Eddie left. Out of the three of them Richie had left first, obviously Mike had stayed up until he was 40, it was a teary goodbye with the promise of calling them from Chicago. There never were any calls no matter how long Eddie and Mike had waited. Eddie had gone to set out on his own venture a year later, he told Mike he would be back, he just had to go kick Richie’s ass for no calls. Eddie forgot all about Derry. Now Mike was the only loser there, it was 1999 and he was there all alone, all of his friend’s promises of coming back were never fulfilled. It was gut wrenching.

It’s been 27 years now since It happened, Richie still remembered Bill taking Georgie’s raincoat with them, it hadn’t failed to keep him confused as soon as he remembered but he was more focused on other people. Like what the fuck? Everyone just decided to get hot over the next 30 years? That’s not fucking fair. Richie had been alone all of those years, learning to shrink himself up to take up less room, hunch himself over, keep his hands in his pockets, he learned how to be loud but not enough to draw too much attention he didn’t need anyone psychoanalyzing him and figuring out he was gay. That was the last thing he wanted. His shirt pallets weren’t what he really wanted, they were dull or dimmed down colors. He wanted to have brighter ones—but then people might start to suspect, he’ll that was the whole reason why he had someone else writing his jokes. Richie knew they were shitty, anyone can get a fucking dick joke for free, he hated the comedy he had produced but he couldn’t let anyone figure out, let alone think he’s gay. Being around the losers helped though, except Edward Kaspbrak who just had to be hot and apparently no one was going to give Richie the memo that Eddie had muscles underneath baggy clothes! What?!

It had only been a couple of days, each loser had gotten their tokens, all except for Stanley. Stanley was dead. Richie felt awful for the things he had said about him, he didn’t know he had died he wouldn’t have called him Stanley “Urine” or called him a pussy if he had known that. Stan was his best friend and he was dead, Richie didn’t get a goodbye really, he got one 20-something years ago but it wasn’t the one he wanted. (He would later go on to go visit Patty, Stan’s wife, he found out what he was like when he was older and he filled her in on what he was like as a kid since Stanley could never remember, he never said anything about the clown though.)

But there they were. Richie had gotten caught in the deadlights, he already lost Stan he couldn’t lose Mike too he would save his friends as many times as he needed to. Maybe a few jokes about being Mike’s knight in shining armor because of having to save him two times on this trip but that wouldn’t be until after this was over with. He couldn’t remember what he had seen in the deadlights, he was ripped out of them quickly, only moments later he woke up to find Eddie on top of him. Richie was dazed though, did Eddie kiss him? He was on top of Richie, that was how Ben had gotten Beverly out when they were younger, he had to of. Oh god Eddie Kaspbrak had kissed him. Eddie didn’t really kiss him though, Richie didn’t know that until after everything. Eddie looked so proud though, talking about how right Richie was and that he had did it, Richie’s hand was carefully and shakily reaching up to pull him down into a kiss but before he could Eddie was stabbed. Right in the middle of his lower chest and upper abdomen, blood had sputtered into Richie’s glasses and all he could hear was Eddie whimpering his name and screams. He could place his name on who’s but they were there.

And now Eddie was propped up against a rock, he had given a frantic explanation on how he had made It feel small abs weak when he went to get his inhaler earlier. The other losers went of to go harass the clown, Richie stayed with Eddie, he couldn’t let him die all alone down there, he couldn’t let Eddie die like that Eddie hated gross places especially that fucking sewer. Richie had taken off his bomber jacket and put it on Eddie’s wound, Eddie weakly holing it down while Richie’s press was firmer, his hand on top of Eddie’s. You’d think Eddie would be the sobbing mess that was blabbering, but he wasn’t, Eddie was surprisingly calm. Richie wasn’t though. Richie was crying—he didn’t care anymore, sobs broke through while he was frantically telling Eddie that he would be okay. Once the others are done they would take him to the hospital and he’d be safe, if he had lasted this long a little longer wouldn’t hurt, Eddie was strong enough to keep fighting. Eddie was fairly quiet just listening to Richie through broken sobs, tears were in his eyes as he looked at the heartbroken man in front of him but he didn’t let a single one fall

Eddie’s shaky hand slowly moved to cup Richie’s cheek and cupped it gently, the larger of the two had immediately looked at him as soon as he felt his hand, Eddie shook his head a little bit. They both knew he wouldn’t make it out of there. “Rich...” Eddie finally spoke, his voice quiet. It was so odd for him to sound this quiet, Eddie was usually so damn loud.

“Yeah—yeah what is it, Eds?” Richie asked quickly, his voice still shaky as his freehand was gently placed on Eddie’s. He was afraid of losing any moments with the love of his life.

Eddie carefully guided Richie closer, their foreheads now pressed together, Eddie wiping the tears from Richie’s cheek and looked into his eyes. Richie’s eyes hadn’t left Eddie’s since his cheek was cupped. “I love you.” He whispered. Eddie wasn’t sure if Richie had any feelings for him, at least he had gotten to do something he had always wanted to do, even if Eddie was rejected he could die knowing that he didn’t have that as a regret.

Richie could feel his chest cave in, he loved Eddie too, he loved him more than anything else in the world but learning that Eddie loved him too right before he was about to die hurt. He knew he wouldn’t make it, Richie wanted Eddie to live though. Even if Richie wasn’t able to live he’d give anything for Eddie to have a chance to get the life he always wanted. Richie moved his forehead from Eddie’s and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, Eddie had returned it. “I love you too.” He confessed with a shaky breath. The life was starting to drain from Eddie’s eyes quicker than before.

“I’m sorry it took so long.” Eddie mumbled quietly and Richie shook his head immediately after those words were uttered.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare apologize. They’re—they’re almost done over there I can tell they are you just have to hang on for a little bit longer. You’re doing fucking amazing just hold on a little bit longer.” Richie spoke frantically, looking into the man he loves eyes. There was nothing left of those big puppy brown eyes. They were gone, lifeless, there was nothing to it. Richie held onto his hand more and lightly shook his shoulder, desperately trying to get Eddie to wake up. It was too late though. After a few more minutes of Richie babbling to him about how much he loved him, begging for him to come back, he had to go. The others weren’t getting much ground on the clown and oh god was Richie pissed off.

Eddie died happily though, well kind of happy, Richie loved him back. He had spent so long thinking he was stupid for hoping that he would and Richie did. He did love him back. He did go out the way he had always hoped he would—not the evil clown that ate kids and feasted off their fear. But the saving his friends part was what he had always wanted. Eddie Kaspbrak was a lover. He would always be remembered as one.

After the second battle with It, Richie understood why Bill had kept Georgie’s raincoat. It wasn’t a reminder of Eddie’s death, well it did, but it was more so a reminder of the life that he had lived, the love he had given to people, all of the screaming insults thrown at New York drivers, every memory that Richie and Eddie had discussed. He had gotten one of Eddie’s hoodies that was in his plethora of luggage. Richie wouldn’t ever fully move on from the love of his life but knowing Eddie gave him the confidence to be braver, he came out to his audience, stopped slouching so much, he didn’t have as much faux happiness. He would always mourn over Eddie and maybe just end up on a couple of dates here and there, none of them could beat his first love though. His progress was slow, slower than anything else it felt like it took him years to finally open up more, but that didn’t stop him from pushing himself.

[cthomashoodstory]

Best Years but Not in the Same Way (19)

Calum Hood x Reader

Previous Part

I’m sorry english isn’t my native. And also i got pictures from google and if one of it is yours and you want to take it down pls let me know. I’m so nervous to write this part sjsjsj i hope someone is reading. And btw if you found this post for the first time, i suggest you to read the entire parts i gave the link below! And so sorry if u get bored :(

Masterlist

-

”It’s literally 8 A.M in the morning, you better be have a good thing to showed me or i will hate you.” Calum called you in the morning saying that he had something to showed you and you have to come and now here you are. “What?” You asked him when you were in his room.

Then he pulled out a very cute floral dress. “I bought this for you last month for Ash birthday party today. I don’t know if you like this or not, but here it is. I hope you like it. And also the heels, i love it so i bought it to you.” He gave it the dress and heels and now you were just speechless because this dress is hella cute and expensive.

“I forgot it’s Ashton birthday...,” you paused. “Do you have something to be give to him?” He shooked his head. “Let’s get out then?” He nodded an you two headed out.

After 5 hours went out to store by store and had lunch, you and Calum finally arrived at home at 2 P.M.. You bought a Leather Lace-up Ankle boots for Ashton as present because he said he love wearing boots and he kinda collecting it right now so it might be a good gift for him. And Calum bought an electric guitar for him.

“Hey i think I’m gonna get ready, since i took an hour to do make up so... bye.” You waved at him and ran to his bedroom to get ready.

An hour later, you our from his room and you saw him stood waiting for you. “You were ready? Since when? Damn you look so hot!” You said it out loud and he blushed.

“Since 30 minutes ago i think? And you look so beautiful.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. “I think we should stay at home rather than go to Ash’s party.” He gave you a serious face.

“Why?” Suddenly you felt so disappointed because you just prepared for an hour, you got a very beautiful mini dress from him and now he wants to canceled it?

He laughed. “I don’t want any men to steal you away from me. I mean look at you right now.” He teased you and put his hand on your waist. You were inch away from his face and now you wanted to to something but you afraid. You were still afraid until today.

“Should we go?” You asked him and he nodded while pulled his hand away.

You went out and he drove fast. You didn’t interact with him on the car. It was just too awkward for you both.

An hour later you and him arrived at Ashton’s place. It was just 4 P.M and his house already crowded. You held your present for him and Calum also did the same. You and him went in and looking for Ashton. You finally met him. He was stood at the corner with Luke and Michael and Mitchy Collins.

“Aye my favorite couple.” He hugged Calum first and then Calum gave the present. And then you hugged him. “Awh thank you so much, Cal and Bar. Enjoy the party.” You walked away from them and joined Kaitlin, Crystal and Sierra on the counter.

“Oh my God, look at your dress, you really stealing the spotlight!” Crystal complimented your dress. “I knew it Calum has a taste.”

You frowned. “Oh Calum showed us the dress after he bought it last month. Oh virtually of course. Don’t worry he didn’t cheat with us. His heart is belong to you.” Sierra explained and you smiled while rolling your eyes.

“So how’s the progress with you and Calum? Are you guys kissed already?” Kaitlin asked you excitedly. You knew she’s a bit drunk since she held the red glass.

You shook your head and nodded at the same time. “We are not dating, we’re still friends but we ever kissed and thats it. No more further explanation.” You grinned and poured beer to your glass.

After hours you’ve been mingled with everyone, you decided to go to the bathroom to freshing up. While on the way you pulled out your phone from your sling purse and you shocked you got 20 missed calls from Mike and you got so much message from him, your mom, Julia, Tranter and other friends. But one notification that caught your eyes was a missed call from Justin at 3 P.M.. What the hell is going on? You could feel your face is pale and you panicked and ran fast to the bathroom. You locked the door and sit on toilet. You called Mike Immediately and you scared to death. Your mind flashback to when he called you 30 times because he worried when Justin and Selena got back.

“Saara Palvin are you okay? Why you didn’t pick my call?” He sounded so worried, exactly like 3 years ago.

“My phone went silent and I’m fine I’m at Ashton’s birthday party. What happened? Nevermind i will find it by myself and i promise you i will be fine, i won’t hurting myself ever again. Okay? Bye.” You hung up the call and searching on Safari about Justin Bieber. That’s really what you searched because deep down in your heart you knew if Mike, Julia and Tranter texted or called you at the same time, it really had something to do with Justin. And coincidentally Justin did called you and it really ruined your mind. The search came up and you saw a news about Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin engaged at Bahamas today. Wait what? Engaged? Justin is engaged? With Hailey? You read the headline again and locked your phone. You don’t care. You don’t care at all. He could do anything he wanted.

Then the bathroom door is knocked. “Saara? Are you okay? It’s me Kaykay. I saw you running to the bathroom worriedly. Are you okay?” She asked yo politely and you unlocked the door so she could come in. “Hey girl, what’s wrong?” She wiped out the tears that feel down to your face. You really managed to not cry in front of her but you failed.

You tried to breath slowly. “I think I’m going home now. I’m not feeling good right now. Justin is engaged with his girlfriend.” You finally confessed to her and she hugged you. “I don’t want people to know about it. What is my excuse then?”

She pulled the hug. “Just said that your mom needs you right know and they would understand. Calum would understand. You had to lie to them for your own sake. You need to rest, Miss B. And when you talked to them just thinking about a funny moments so that you wont cry.” You nodded and put the lipstick on your lips and out from the bathroom. You were separated from Kaitlin and walked towards the boys who sat down on the chairs laughing together.

“Hi guys i think I’m going out now, my mom is need my help right now and i will go to her place now. Bye guys, once again happy birthday Ashy.” You hugged Ashton, then Luke and Michael.

“Let me drive you there, Bar.” He held your arm but you brushed it off.

You looked at him. “No, you need to be here for Ashton. I will be fine okay? Have fun baby.” You kissed his cheek and left him as fast as you could because you were about to cry if you still there with him. You ordered Uber and headed home.

You finally at your bedroom and lean on the wall. You cannot cry because what’s the point of it? He has a good life and so are you. You are happy with your life, you surrounded by a very good people, the best friends who always support you, you’re happy.

You changed your clothes into pajamas and you sat on your living room. And you saw Calum texted you.

You felt bad for lying to him but this was the only thing you could do. He might get hurt if he knew the real answer. You really try hard to move on from Justin. It was harder than you thought. The past still haunts you until today. The memories still haunts you.

You turned on the tv and watch a random show but you didn’t really paid attention to it. Your mind kept thinking about Justin over and over. and you decided to keep your mind busy thinking about other by watching a criminal tv show.

It surprisingly distracted you for hours until you heard a message notification.

Ah these big mouth guys. Why in the hell they told Calum about it? So that why he asked you if you okay twice. He probably hated you right now. You couldn’t do anything but sighed. Calum must be hurted right now. Why all of this happened?

Then you heard your door being unlocked and you saw Calum walked in with flowers on his left hand and a totebag on his right hand. Wait what was he doing here?

“Cal?” You were so shocked when he showed up. He smiled to you and you knew he was hurted judging by his expression.

“Hi Bar,” he greeted you and handed you the flowers. “I just want to be here with you to cheer you up.” He signaled you to sat on the couch with him. And then you sat with him and put the flowers on your lap. “I bought you chocolates, lots of chocolate,” he pulled it out one by one. “Then a red lipstick because i know you love to wear it, and a tiny teddy bear. I honestly suck at this so thats the only thing i bought for you.”

You smiled to him and hold his hand. “Thank you, Cali. You really cheered me up.” “And i want to-“

But he cut your talk. “I know what happened, Ashton told me.” He held your hand tight. “I want you to be honest with me, i was so confused when you said you didn’t want me to drove you. I thought i made a mistake.”

You sighed. “Im sorry i didn’t want to hurt you, i didn’t want you to know that I’m hurt, I’m messed on the inside. I didn’t want you to hate me just because I’m still trying to find my way out from my past. I hate myself for keep hurting you until today.”

“Hey hey please don’t cry.” He hugged you and you cried on his chest. “I know moving on is the hardest thing to do, but i know you can do it. I trust the process, Bar. I trust us.”

You pulled the hug. “You can always find and fall in love with another brain, another soul, rather than stay and wait for me to heal the feeling.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I love you and i only want you in my life. I will always love you no matter how hard this situation is. I will wait for you.”

-

To be continued.

Next Part

[dreamingofscully]

6x10. “Tithonus” - X-Files Rewatch

“You know, most people want to live forever.” - Scully “Most people are idiots. Which is one of the reasons I don't.” - Fellig “I think you're wrong. How can you have too much life? There's too much to learn, to experience.” - Scully “75 years... is enough. Take my word for it. You live forever, sooner or later you start to think about the big thing you're missing and that everybody else gets to find out about but you.” - Fellig “What about love?” - Scully

The last episode showed Mulder sitting at the desk in front of Scully. I love that they’re sitting near each other now. Mulder totally paid off or did SOMETHING to get the other guy (that we see in “Triangle”) to vacate so he could sit next to Scully.

More of Mulder’s little rebellions - feet on the desk. Contrasted with Scully sitting neatly. But look at her messy post-its... she’s also got her little rebellions, even though she takes her work much more seriously.

First it was fertilizer checks, which at least let them spend hours together talking about ‘anything and everything’ in cars. Next was the interviews, which they were supposed to do together. Now, phone background checks. Mulder’s right their next stop on this trajectory is cleaning toilets.

Their banter when Scully gets called into Kersh’s office. 😍

Scully’s unimpressed face at Ritter’s theory.

“Agent Mulder and I will begin immediately.” Scully KNOWS Kersh doesn’t mean to include Mulder when she says this, but this is her way of rebelling, of shouting at him: WE ARE A TEAM.

Mulder’s so jealous Scully’s off to check out a case without him, one that he can tell has a certain ‘paranormal bouquet’. I love Scully’s assurance that this is just a one-time thing. Mulder knows she can do what she wants, that she doesn’t need to stay with him. “If she does a good job” (of course she will and he knows it). Despite wanting her near him… he DOESN'T want her to waste her talents, so tells her it’s okay if she leaves him (that he’ll be okay if she moves on - which is a LIE and they both know it). Love this little interaction.

I love that Scully has such a sixth sense when it comes to people - Deep Throat, Diana, now Ritter. She can tell that he doesn’t care about the truth, about justice. He only wants a promotion. This is something that she’s always had, but once she got partnered with Mulder she only really became aware of how important it was to her. Mulder doesn’t give a shit how he looks in front of his superiors, he flagrantly does the complete opposite of what they want if it’s the right thing to do. She admires his ability to not care so much and has adopted that into herself, and has learned to listen to that voice inside herself now that tells her when someone’s dirty.

I LOVE how blase Fellig is about everything. Reminds me of a more serious Clyde Bruckman. He’s just tired of life, has given up, but has no ability to do anything about it.

Scully following her instincts and trying to get the truth of the case. She couldn’t care less if her ideas or line of questioning doesn’t fit with Ritter’s narrative.

“I thought we were looking for the truth.” - Scully

Mulder’s “we used to sit next to each other” and their conversation is so sweet. Scully adores him.

What things did Ritter say about Scully in his report to Kersh?

Mulder’s being so cute and helpful. He wants a part of something strange and to feel like he’s working with Scully not just beside her.

Scully’s briefcase in the surveillance car. ❤️ Hopping over the centre console. So smol. ❤️

Scully’s sense for people, again. Knowing that Fellig isn’t a killer and Ritter is a snake.

“What, do you want me to cry for them? You want me to make like I feel sorry for them? I don't. Lucky bastards. Every one of them.” - Fellig

I love this line. Vince is SO GOOD at making characters that are likeable despite being unlikeable (Crump in “Drive”, Fellig… his characters in Breaking Bad, particularly WW)

Scully being a complete badass and arresting the pimp. Smacking him upside the head when he calls her “Red”. 😍

Ritter calling Scully “Dana” is just… gross.

Then coming out to be the rotten person Scully thought he was (he doesn’t care if he’s wrong, if justice isn’t served, he just wants to interrogate a confession and railroad this guy. He “knows the judge” - what an entitled prick.)

That Kersh sent Scully on this case with this guy - calling him a “promising young Agent” and “what she used to be”

She was NEVER like Ritter. But it is SO Kersh to think that a guy like Ritter is the ideal - he presents himself in the best light, sucks up to his superiors. Kinda like Fletcher when he was Mulder…

Scully telling Ritter to call her Scully instead of Dana. What is a tender name when used by Mulder is a professional one to all others. 

Mulder being helpful ❤️ and trying to be sneaky in the crowded office. No wonder he chose to slack off, play basketball and do anything except work during the day, but came in late/early to do the stuff he actually wanted.

“Mr. Fellig, I know... that you know more about photography than I do but this is just a lens flare.” - Scully “You're right. I do know more about photography than you do.” - Fellig

When Scully offers her usual pragmatic alternative to the ‘apparition’ in the photograph, I love Fellig’s response. He doesn’t disagree, just responds to her like he’s bored.

Scully finding a clue, so calls Mulder.

When Mulder finds information that Fellig is dangerous but can’t reach Scully, he calls Ritter and TELLS HIM SHE’S THERE. He still goes in guns-blazing. What an idiot.

Scully’s first concern, after saying that if you lived forever you could learn and experience so much, is love. The one thing she lacks at the moment. If she could turn back time and do things all over again, perhaps things would have turned out different with her and Mulder. As it is, they’ve wasted so much time. :( She looks so sad when Fellig says “You don't want to be around when it's gone.”)

Scully is concerned when Fellig looks at her strangely and prepares his camera. As much as she protests, she DOES believe. She’s afraid of dying more than she is of believing in this instance, reacting as though she doesn’t believe that Fellig can predict death.

At the hospital, how much self-control did Mulder have when facing Ritter? He probably knows the guy is getting in deep shit so doesn’t want to interfere with that. I don’t think Scully would have pressed too much for punishment, but Mulder DEFINITELY would have, because he KNOWS that this guy KNEW Scully was there, and shot blindly anyways.

The secret handshake, playing with each others’ fingers, it just makes my heart hurt. ❤️ Sitting on the bed, he places his arm over her on the other side, leaning closely. Gazing at each other.  ❤️

“I just think that … that death only looks for you... once you seek its opposite.” - Mulder

Death only matters once you have something in your life worth living for. (?) There are a few ways to interpret Mulder’s words here, but I think this one fits.

Side Note: When Mulder is doing his phone call the person he’s talking to is called “Ms. Ehrmantraut”, which Vince uses later for Mike Ehrmantraut in Breaking Bad. ❤️

[veganmikehanlon]

He keeps waiting to forget. Keeps waiting for the doors

(very scary)

to close again. They don’t. Richie hurtles between gratitude that he can still feel that feeling, the one that fills him up inside until he

(floats)

is bursting with it. That feeling of warm summer days and freckles. Of rainy afternoons stuffed away in an attic. That feeling when he’s being pushed and poked and prodded in a hammock and every touch feels both like fire and being doused with cool water. Over and over until his head spins.

He holds on to the smiles, the laughs, the gags, the quips, the

(I fucked your mom)

love.

He throws his clothes away, gets new glasses, stares at the palm of his hand, tries to move on. But that feeling, the other one, cold and alone and frightened...

It doesn’t fade.

And to feel scared even now after defeating literal evil and being reunited with the losers

(and i always fucking will be.)

it’s infuriating.

He alternates looking at his life through this new feeling of love and understanding and belonging in the world and all that fuckin bullshit and the absolute fury that his life has been controlled by some otherworldly evil bitch.

That stupid fucking clown that showed him the edge of the universe and all the empty black space, shoved him deep into it until it’s inside him until he’s no more just empty and dark and

Fuck

That.

Next time we’re going with regular scary!

Next time.

He calls his friends first. Big Bill first of course, and they cry together,

(I’m proud of you, Rich)

and then Bev and Ben. That one hurts, to hear them together

(next time)

laughing and in love. He’s happy for them but jesus.

It takes a while for Richie to call Mike. It’s not Mike’s fault what happened, but the evil extraterrestrial world eater is dead, gone forever and

(Rich...I- I-)

it’s hard to pin all the anger to a dead thing.

He does it though. Calls. Exchanges small talk about the weather (it’s raining in Derry and it hasn’t stopped for days).

and for the first time in his life, Richie can’t think of anything to say next. He’s going to tell Mike he’s gay, that’s what he called for at least, but so many angry and bitter words well up between his teeth and it’s all he can do to squash them.

Mike speaks.

He talks about being alone in ways Richie could never dream of, he says his life has had one purpose and now-

Now two of his only friends are dead and the rest scattered. What do you do once the evil entity that has been haunting you all your life is dead? Where’s he supposed to start, man? Where is he supposed to go?

“You can come here.” Did he really just say that?

“Rich... You don’t want that.”

He has a strange moment where the world seems to bend around him and he wonders if Mike can read his mind.

“I killed him, it’s my fault, I killed Eddie and I killed Stan, I tried to bring you all back and now they’re dead and it’s my fault.”

Richie is pretty sure Mike can read his mind. His thoughts are running tripping tumbling to his mouth and Richie isn’t So Much in Control, too many thoughts that Mike can already read,

“Unless your stupid Native American ritual like, mind melded you and It and you stabbed Eddie with a giant alien spider claw, then I’m pretty sure all you did was keep the lighthouse.”

Oh.

“Hey Mike, can you read minds?”

He thinks it’d be nice if Mike could, just so he could point to the devil in his head that goes goes goes and never stops and say: See, I wasn’t always in control of what the devil let loose in me but look, look how I made him work for me, do you see? And Mike would nod and say he understands and congratulate Richie on Living.

“You do blame me.”

A statement.

“The clown is dead dude, it can’t pick up the phone.”

“Do you not?”

Running, tripping, tumbling,

“No.”

Oh.

“How?”

The devil runs.

“We met you last. Whatever it was that made us the lucky seven had already brought the rest of us together. You were the last missing piece. And after, when we forgot, we were like lost fucking puzzle pieces and then you called and put us back together. You were always the missing piece, we’d be nothing without you. We were nothing without you. I mean, you know how unhappy we all were, and now—“

Now Eddie is dead, Stan is dead, and fuck, Richie’s career is dead, too.

“Now we remember each other, and some of those fucking puzzle pieces (he chokes here) are fucking gone, but we get to remember them. (And here.) It’s a gift.”

He stops. Wonders if Mike is going to say anything or just keep making those same choked cries he’s been making since Richie started the damn puzzle piece metaphor.

He imagines Stan doing a puzzle at home with his wife. Richie would probably off himself too if that’s what he thought was a good ol’ time (now he’s glad Mike can’t read his mind).

“You really wised up, Tozier.”

“Right on my way to being an old man.”

“Are you not one now?”

“Ouch, Hanlon.”

It’s weird to sit on the phone with someone and speak in a voice that might just be his own. 

“Hey, Mikey, I called to tell you. To tell you I’m gay. I’ve been afraid, fucking terrified actually, but Ed’s, he made me brave.”

it’s a lot to confess, more than he did to the others. Mike chokes and goes into a coughing fit and when he’s done, he’s laughing. A hard, borderline crazy, laugh.

“Geez, Mikey. Not the reaction I expected from you.”

The man clears his throat. “Sorry, sorry,” more chuckles travel through the line. “I’m not laughing at you, I just, I understand, you know?”

No, he doesn’t know.

“I’m not afraid of birds anymore, Rich.”

Oh. He does know. He gets it. A sob bubbles in his throat and he chokes it down, and when his coughing fit resides he laughs, hard and borderline crazy.

They cackle together over the phone and Richie might just get it. The reason to live when others do not. The reason to be brave and to fight and to keep going no matter what. The reason to remember.

“I’ll see you soon, Mike.”

“See you soon, Richie.”

[thevampirediariesdiary]

SEASON 2 MUSIC MOMENTS

below the cut, you will find a list of (some of) the songs that are used prominently in season 2, with snatches of lyrics and some helpful context.  I’ve also included a few songs that are only used in the background, if I think the lyrics are interesting enough.

reblog and tell me your top 10! tag your friends to share their top 10! =)

2.01, The Return

an instrumental version of “Breakeven (Falling to Pieces)” plays during the “now I’m hurt” scene 

“The River Has Run Wild” by Mads Langer plays at the beginning of Damon’s confrontation with Katherine, “it hurts to see you burning so bright”

“Come Home” by Sara Bareilles and One Republic plays over Damon and Elena’s scene, “everything I can’t be is everything you should be, and that’s why I need you here”

2.02, Brave New World

“Animal” by Neon Trees plays during the carnival scene where Elena tells Bonnie that she’s human and needs to do human stuff or she’ll go insane: “what are you waiting for, take a bite of my heart tonight”

“All This Time” by One Republic plays during the stelena ferris wheel scene, “all this time we were waiting for each other / all this time I was waiting for you / we got all these words, can’t waste them on another / so I’m in a straight line running back to you” 

2.03, Bad Moon Rising

“Under My Bed” By Meiko plays while Caroline is stuck in her bedroom hiding from the sun while Matt knocks on her door.  “here I am with my heart on the floor and my love out the door”

“Ashes and Wine” by A Fine Frenzy plays while Caroline pushes Matt into breaking up with her, while Alaric and Jenna reconcile, and then into the scene where Elena tells Damon he’s lost her forever: “Is there a chance, a fragment of light at the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight? Is there a chance you might change your mind? Or are we ashes and wine?”

2.04, Memory Lane 

Tyrone Wells “Time of Our Lives” plays while Stefan and Elena fake fight for Caroline’s benefit, “It’s hard to walk away from the best of days, but if it has to end I’m glad you have been my friend in the time of our lives”

Sara Bareilles’ “Breathe Again” plays over Katherine’s flashbacks to telling Stefan they’ll be together again, “my burden to bear is a love I can’t carry anymore / all I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breath / holds my love in his hands, now I’m searching for something / out of breath I’m hoping someday I’ll breathe again”

2.05, Kill or Be Killed 

Trent Dabbs’ “Counting Sleep” plays over the Stefan and Elena scene in her bedroom in which they plan their fake fight, “tell me everything will be alright, I’m worried about nothing”

The Naked and Famous song “Punching in a Dream” plays over their fight, “Wait, I don’t ever want to be here, like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare”

“I Need To Know” by Kris Allen plays over Elena’s discussion with Damon (“Are you leaving me? Or are you leading the way? Can you hear what I’m saying? I need to know.”) that leads into Elena’s decision to let Stefan drink her blood, you and me, always: “Will you take my hand?  Feels so far away, want to see your face, are you even there?  Can you show me?  Can you make me believe?”

2.06, Plan B 

The Script’s “This=Love” plays on overlapping scenes of opposing couples, Stefan and Elena and Mason and Katherine: “This is why we do it, this is worth the pain, this is why we fall down and get back up again, this is where the heart lies, this is from above, love is this, this is love”

The Black Keys’ “Tighten Up” plays over the scene in which Jenna calls out Stefan and Elena for fake fighting, “tighten up on your reins, you are runnin’ wild”

“Wires” by Athlete plays over the scene where Elena breaks up with Stefan for real, because Jenna got hurt, continuing into the part where Damon takes the blame and Elena doesn’t hold it against him, “I see it in your eyes, you’ll be alright / running down corridors through automatic doors, got to get to you, got to see this through”

2.07, Masquerade 

Digital Daggers’ “Head over Heels” plays over the Steferine slow dance scene, “You keep your distance with a system of touch and gentle persuasion / I’m lost in admiration, could I need you this much? / oh you’re wasting my time, you’re just – just – just – wasting time”

“People Change” by Joel & Luke plays over the angsty longing glances exchanged between Caroline and Matt, “will you be there if I call? will you leave me in the rain? if I say it’s all my fault, will you still walk away?  I understand if you’re afraid, but people change”

“Brave” by Tawgs Salter plays over the final scene between Stefan and Elena when she says she needs to wake up and Stefan says he understands, and lets her go, “I think I’ll be brave, starting with you, but I’ll fall away if you want me to..I think I’ll be brave, say how I’ve wanted you” 

2.08, Rose 

Dragonette’s “We Rule the World” plays over Caroline’s conversation with Damon wherein she explains that she covered for Tyler, “we’re not the ones with the big guns, some kind of shiny secret weapons, but lets pretend that we rule the world”.  the song cuts off when Damon tells her not to be Tyler’s friend. 

While Stefan is interrogating Damon in the interests of road trip bonding, asking if he’s helping his little brother save the girl he loves or if he loves her too, “Blood” by Editors plays: “There’s nothing believable in being honest / so cover your lies up with another promise / blood runs through your veins / that’s where our similarity ends”

“In My Veins” by Andrew Belle plans when Elena receives the message that Damon and Stefan are coming for her: “all that you rely on and all that you can fake / will find you in the morning but find you in the day / oh, you’re in my veins and I cannot get you out / oh, you’re all I taste at night inside of my mouth / oh, you run away cause I am not what you found” 

“Love Song” by Cruel Black Dove plays in the car when Stefan tells Damon that he’s been drinking Elena’s blood, “I’m alright, I’m alright, can’t you see can’t you see / he’s just like me”

“Ocean Wide” by The Afters plays when Elena returns home to Bonnie and Jeremy, “If love is an ocean wide, we’ll swim in the tears we cry / they’ll see us through to the other side / we’re gonna make it” and then fades into the scene of the Salvatores at home, making their truce to protect Elena and Stefan apologizing for the past and admitting he just needed his brother. 

“I was wrong” by Sleeperstar plays during the scene of Damon’s love confession in Elena’s bedroom: “last night we fell apart, I broke to pieces / our love was in a hall, packed all in boxes / and I saw what it was that I did to you / I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong”.  

2.09, Katerina 

“Precious Stone” by Pete Yorn plays while Caroline has lunch with Stefan and asks why he’s such a good friend to her, “come on, I know you’re feeling better, I know you’re feeling in control”

“Puritan Heart” by Matt Duncan plays I think for a hot second in the coffee shop while Slater lists his many degrees,  “I almost said ‘you used to be a lot of fun’ / but so did I…oh please melt my puritan heart”.  I only mention this because it’s a travesty that this song wasn’t used in a Stefan scene. 

“Light Love” by Free Energy plays in the continuing Stefan and Caroline scene, “Light love, don’t everybody want that love? And it’s hard sometimes cause everybody’s uptight, love” 

“Amen Omen” by Ben Harper plays while Damon and Rose talk about how it might be better if Damon turns off his emotions because caring gets you dead, Elena tells Stefan that everyone is in danger because of her, and Katherine looks at the drawing of her family. “Will I see your face again? Can I find the place within to live my life without you?” 

2.10, The Sacrifice 

Our very own Kat Graham’s “I’m Only Happy When It’s Raining” plays when Matt apologizes to Tyler, Caroline and Matt fail to make up, and Caroline brags about her organizational chops as a way of offering her help to Tyler, thereby setting up a brand-new love triangle: “I’m only happy when it rains, I’m only happy when it’s complicated, and though I know you can’t appreciate it, I’m only happy when it rains”

Joel and Luke’s version of “Love’s to Blame” starts to play as Caroline tells Tyler she doesn’t want him to be alone, and continues through Matt’s awkward entrance, “Can’t be near you right now, cause I know you’re no longer mine” 

“No Way Out” by Rie Sinclair and Mike Suby plays during the Jeremy/Bonnie scene when he says he was willing to take the chance he would die to protect her, and continues during the scene on the doorstep with Damon and Elena where she says he shouldn’t question why she would try to save everyone, and through their fight in the tomb. “you’re the very thing unwinding me / no one ever will love me better than your everlasting love / I found only one way in and no way out”

2.11, By the Light of the Moon 

“Longest Night” by Howie Day plays while Caroline runs to Tyler after he changes back to a human, when Stefan gets out of the tomb and kisses Elena, into the scene where Damon tells Rose he’s happy the legend was fake and she says she’ll stay and help him save Elena, “You and I, caught in a fading light on the longest night / it’s enough just to find love, it’s the only thing to be sure of / so hard to let go of, a thousand times or more” 

2.12, The Descent 

Anberlin’s “Impossible” plays while Tyler thanks Caroline for helping him, “you’re impossible to love or leave, so impossible to win or please / I’m wearing you out, just wearing you out, but I’m wearing you down / take what you want from me, it means nothing now / take everything from me, it means nothing now / not so easy to forgive, harder to forget, take what you want” 

TV on the Radio’s “DLZ” plays over Damon’s existential crisis speech, “congratulations on the mess you made of things…you force your fire then you falsify your deeds / your methods dot the disconnect from all your creeds…your victim flies to high all to catch a bird’s eye view of / who’s next” 

2.13, Daddy Issues 

Adele’s “Don’t You Remember” plays in the Grille while Elena exhorts Damon not to be stupid and to be the better man, “but don’t you remember? don’t you remember? / the reason you loved me before / baby please remember me once more.”

“Stay” by Hurts plays while Elena accuses Damon of blowing off Andi, and he says it’s in the best interests of women everywhere, “we say goodbye in the pouring rain and I break down as you walk away / stay, stay / cause all my life I’ve felt this way but I could never find the words to say / stay, stay” 

Natasha Bedingfield’s “Strip Me” plays while Elena fights with John, “take what you want, steal my pride / build me up or cut me down to size / shut me out but I’ll just scream / I’m only one voice in a million / but you ain’t taking that from me”

“Losing Your Memory” by Ryan Starr plays while Stefan brings the girls over Caroline’s house, and then when Damon tells Andi he’s in love with a woman he can never have because she wants him to be something he’s not, and she tells him love changes us, “all the best of what we’ve done is yet to come / wake up, it’s time, little girl, wake up / just remember who I am in the morning / you’re losing your memory now.” 

2.14, Crying Wolf

“All Die Young” by Smith Westerns plays while Caroline tries to make her excuses to Matt, “I wanna grow old before I grow up, I wanna die with my chin up / and definitely maybe I will live to love”

“You Wait for Rain” by Kyler England plays while Stefan and Elena wander around her parents’ cabin, “it’s like we’ve been drifting along pretending nothing’s wrong / we play the game keep up the charade, but when the river runs dry, we’re on different sides / you wait for rain and I chase the storm, we just don’t see it the same way / you say you want change but you’re never sure, we can’t go on like this anymore”

“Family Tree” by Matthew West plays while Jeremy and Bonnie kiss, while Tyler tells Matt that Caroline was there for him more than anyone’s ever been there for him, but she loves Matt and she needs Matt and she deserves someone like Matt, and subsequently leaves town. “You’re gonna find real love, and you’re gonna hold your kids / you’ll change the course of generations / this is not your legacy, this is not your destiny / yesterday does not define you / this is not your legacy, this is not your meant to be / I can break the chains that bind you” 

2.15, The Dinner Party 

“Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People plays in the Grille while Bonnie and Jeremy awkwardly flirt and lie to Luka.  I only mention this because it’s such a weird choice.

The Airborne Toxic Event’s “Happiness is Overrated” plays while Damon finds Katherine in his shower, having successfully maneuvered him into killing Elijah and almost killed Damon himself in the process, “speaking of little Miss Katherine, I feel swell, oh well / because losing you was something I always did so well”

2.16, The House Guest 

Angel Taylor’s “Epiphany” plays during the girls’ night scene, and Caroline and Jenna discussing whether everyone deserves the truth or if sometimes protecting someone without consulting them is the right choice, “and this epiphany just hit me and now I’m finally realizing / you’re all I never needed / I’m so perfect without you…a true love is surrounding, clarity abounding / you were never my epiphany” 

s.o.stereo plays in the Grille, first “I’ll take the bullet” while Jenna and Alaric fight about his secrets, “and if we want each other / cock it and pull it / you run for cover and I’ll take the bullet”, then “Eternal Flame” with Candice Accola, “do you feel the same, or am I only dreaming? / is this burning an eternal flame? / I believe it’s meant to be, darlin’”, and finally “Hello Miss Heels”, the lyrics of which I cannot find anywhere.  

“Broken Strings” by James Morrison and Nelly Furtado plays when Bonnie tells Jeremy she has her powers back, and then while Katherine tries to crawl into bed with Damon and he rejects her, “but we’re running through the fire when there’s nothing left to save / it’s like chasing the very last train when we both know it’s too late / you can’t play on broken strings / you can’t feel anything that your heart don’t want to feel / I can’t tell you something that ain’t real” 

2.17, Know Thy Enemy 

“Give Me Strength” by Snow Patrol plays while Matt reports back to Liz, and John tells Elena why he put his faith in Isobel, “you give the strength to me, a strength I never had / I was a mess you see, I’d lost the plot so bad / you dragged me up and out, out of the darkest place/ there’s not a single doubt when I can see your faces.”

2.18, The Last Dance 

“Spotlight (Oh Nostalgia)” by Patrick Stump plays while everyone prepares for the dance – Matt, who’s pretending to be compelled, Jeremy and Bonnie, who are fighting about what using her powers would do to her, “Every wound can be forgotten in the right light / oh, nostalgia, I don’t need you anymore”

“Hush” by Kula Shaker plays while Klaus!Alaric enters the dance, “well I got a silly little girl, she’s on my mind / look at her, she looks so fine / she’s the best girl that I ever had / except that she’s gonna make me feel so sad”    

Klaus dedicates “Dedicated to the One I Love” by the Mamas & the Papas to Elena: “while I’m far away from you, my baby / whisper a little prayer for me, my baby, yeah / because it’s hard for me, my baby / and the darkest hour is just before the dawn”

“Last Kiss” by Trent Dabbs plays while Jeremy and Bonnie dance, Stefan hands Elena off to Damon, Stefan cuts in on Caroline and Matt, and Damon cuts in on Jeremy and Bonnie, “I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss / I found the love that I knew I would miss / but now she’s gone, even though I hold her tight / I lost my love, my life that night / oh where oh where can my baby be? / the Lord took her away from me / she’s gone to heaven, so I gotta be good / so I can see my baby when I leave this world”

Birthday Massacre’s “I Think We’re Alone Now” plays while Stefan scolds Damon, leaving Elena and Bonnie separated from the group and vulnerable to Klaus, “trying to get away into the night / and then you put your arms around me / and we tumble to the ground and you say / I think we’re alone now / there doesn’t seem to be anyone around”

“I Wanna Be (Your Everything)” by the Manhattans plays while Jeremy gets beat up in the hallway, “I wanna be your lover and your honey / I wanna be your good luck and your money / I wanna always be by your side / I wanna be your protector and your guide”

“Dream Lover” by the Dollyrots plays while Elena looks for Stefan in the dance, “dream lover, where are you / with a love oh-so true / and a hand that I can hold / to feel you near as I grow old” 

2.19, Klaus 

“Helena Beat” by Foster the People plays while Katherine’s drinking in Alaric’s apartment and Damon and Andi drop by, “sometimes life it takes you by the hair / pulls you down before you know it / it’s gone and you’re dead again” 

“Get Some” by Lykke Li plays while Katherine dances drunkenly. “got you ‘round my finger like a lonely lover’s charm”

2.20, The Last Day 

“Not” by Cheyenne Mize plays when Tyler comes back to town to see his mother in the hospital, and when Matt kisses Caroline in the Grille, “heavy is the burden of truth / how can I say to you, I’m sorry / cause these words can’t change our mind / how can they change your heart? / I’m not the one, you think that I am”

“Wolf Pack” by The Vaccines plays when Damon admits he screwed up, and Klaus walks into the Grille to introduce himself and warn everyone off doing anything they’d regret, “I don’t even know you / you’re just someone new I don’t want to talk to / you’re wild / I don’t find you crazy at all” 

2.21, The Sun Also Rises 

Birdy’s “Skinny Love” plays after Jeremy tells Elena “I still have you,” during Jenna and John’s funeral, as John’s letter is read: “all your love was wasted / then who the hell was I? / now I’m breaking at the britches and at the end of all your lies / who will love you? / who will fight? /and who will fall far behind?”

2.22, As I Lay Dying 

Ingrid Michaelson’s “Turn to Stone” plays when Damon has a last drink and prepares to face the sunlight, “let’s take a better look beyond a story book / and learn our souls are all we own before we turn to stone / let’s go to sleep with clearer heads and hearts too big to fit our beds / and maybe we won’t feel so alone before we turn to stone / and if you wait for someone else’s hand, you’ll fall, you’ll fall”

“Speakers” by Days Difference plays while Alaric finds out that Damon’s dying, and while everyone congregates on the lawn to practice living one more day until it’s not as hard anymore, “now I’m trying and I’m dying to see you / I know I hurt you but I really didn’t mean to / got my pain on the mic, laying it all out tonight / I’ll do it again and again till I get it right” 

“I Should Go” by Levi Kreis plays during Damon and Elena’s last conversation, as he tells her he made choices that got him here, but it’s okay because he met her, and he knows she loves Stefan but he loves her and she should know that, and she tells him she likes him now, just the way he is: “all we have in common, and your company was just the thing I needed tonight / somehow I feel like I should apologize, cause I’m just a little shaken by what’s going on inside / I should go before my will gets any weaker / and my eyes begin to linger longer than they should / I should go before I lose my sense of reason / and this hours holds more meaning than it ever could / I should go, baby, I should go”

[rerorero-rero-rero]

Breaking from the madman // Oliver Kirkland

Another day... or was it night? No matter what time was it, the nightmare kept going on.

<<A few months before, Cielle had moved to England. After various years of saving, she got enough money to afford an apartment and, finally, she had a nice starting for the life she wished since a kid. However, she knew things would not be easy from then on. As days went by, Cielle started to need more money so a job was required, the thing was that there was no place to look for a job nearby her apartment and going from here to there walking was tiresome and distances were long yet. Days continued to be hard as still she could make any friends so the feeling of loneliness as starting to eat her thoughts "How would it be having a friend around?" It was a constant question.>>

"Sweetheart, are you awake?" goosebumps and shivers ran uncontrolably through her spine. That voice was the reason she was so afraid and regretful for entering that pastry store "I love you so so, so much and you've got no idea to what limits i'd go to prove that to you, my sweetest cuppycake" Whoever listen to that cheery voice could suspect none of this man's capablities with a knife. With a wet red tinted hand, he reached for his beloved's cheek, to gently caress it. The love and delicateness on his touch were almost normal if it was not for the possibility that that paint on his hand was blood and not precisely paint "Sweetie, i just came to remind you that i am yours and yours only. I'm your slave, i'll be whatever you want me to be... i bloody promise it.." again, like every other days he would go visit his darling, he ended up crying, begging for a single reply, a sound from her. The cold wall against that ginger haired man usually worked, yet, if she closed her eyes while he was still crying, Cielle would think that she was on that doll house like room by her will.

<<"Okay so... Kirkland's Candy Shop?... That is a long title i guess" Cielle read the OPEN at the door: it was written in a beautiful, curly and sweet at sight calligraphy,in an alluring golden colour with soft lines of a cute baby blue; the door frame was yellow and, the door itself, was made out of wood, two small windows in the upper side of the door and it was painted in white "Just like a doll house... i wonder if i'm properly dressed" and with that last loud voice thought, she went inside, there were two big shelves filled with muffins, colourful cupcakes, candies of almost every kinds, shapes and flavours and lots of chocolate statues of a hand sized. The place was mainly painted in pink with a lavender line on the medium lower part of the walls and, from below that line, it was still pink but it has dots of a vanilla colour. The tables and chair were directly taken out from a princess' castle; they were white, with baby blue or vanilla yellow table covers. There was also another small hall, where there was another small playing area, where there were a few customers and what it looked like a little girl's birthday party (Princess themed of course) decorations.

The albino gal decided to ask one of the mothers that were present if they possibly knew where Mrs. Kirkland was "Uhm, Excuse me ma'am, do you possibly know where Miss Kirkland is?" the woman stared at her white hair, and, with a kind smile, answered "Sure i know, honey. In fact he is bringing my daughter's birthday cake. There" she signed... DUDE, HE WAS NOT A MISS. Cielle blushed instantly at her -awful- mistake "Oh Happy birthday, Gummy bear. I hope you enjoy it" and the man placed the Sleepy Beauty decored cake on the main table "Thank you mister!" The chorus of little girls voices was incredible and how their eyes were shining at the little caramel and marshmallow statue of princess Aurora.

The pink dressed man gazed at the albino with his piercing neon blue eyes. Cielle never saw something as beautiful as that shade of unique blue eyes.

"Hello, Sugar Cube" he approached the female with a kind -Chessire Cat like- smile "What can i do for you?" Cielle stared for a little while at the man's bushy ginger eyebrows "Oh well, you see mister--" she was interrupted "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but i haven't tell you my name yet; Oliver Kirkland, honey" the female smiled "Well, you see, Oliver, i was walking around to see if i could find a cheap place to have a bite of something but i saw this newspaper with this job announcement. I decided to came by and ask if the job is still avaiable" Oliver's eyes sparkled with joy "Oh thank goodness someone came, of course it is. Let this birthday party end and then, we'll go to my office to discuss your employment" the albino nodded "Yes of course. My name is Cielle Durand,  pleasure to meet you" she gave her hand "The pleasure is for me, Sugar Cube" Oliver took Cielle's hand and, gently, kissed one of her knukles, causing a really noticeable blush on her pale cheeks>>

Even with all of Oliver's gentle caresses on her white hair, Cielle remained still, staring at the flannel pastel green nightgown.

"Please! Talk to me! Just anything, you can swear... I promise i'll do anything but just... let me hear your voice" he was tearing so hard that not even his hands could wipe all of his tears. It was like if Oliver had a salty sea hidden on his eyes, he was crying loudly by times, then his voice would break and finally, he was a sobbing, teary mess. The first time Cielle saw him cry that hard, she knew he had freckles that were perfectly hidden under one or two layers of compact powder.

<<The birthday party end and Oliver, after wishing a happy birthday to the little girl, guided the soon-to-be-employee albino gal "Now, now Snow White, let's go to my office, or would you rather to talk here?" Oliver asked "I bet you have the files in your office, so let’s go there" both shared a cheerful smile and went to the office.

Oliver offered a seat in front of his desk and proceeded to take out a few employment files "Okay sweetheart, so i need you to fill these up; this first page is about your schedule, i'd want you to chose what of the schedules is better for you, i'd like you to be comfortable with it" Cielle smiled "Thank you Oliver. My turtle and i really appreciate it" both giggled "But really, i don't think i'll need it since i'm more than ready to work five days a week. I really need the money and Mike is running out of food and i like refuse to feed him my finger" now only she giggled while Oliver just stared "You have a wonderful laugh; also, i think your whole look is alluring, really. I must confess that i've never saw an albino" he smiled sincerely as the green eyed female blushed "Sincerely, you look like a marble statue. I know it might be impolite what i'm about to ask but i'd like you to wear the yellow uniform. Let me go get it so you can see it" Cielle grabbed Oliver's sleeve so he would stop "Uhm,actually, i'd rather a pastel green or a baby pink... i mean! yellow would be fine but it makes me look paler that i actually am so... also, those colours make my eyes look greener" and with a shy smile, Cielle let go from Ollie's clothing.>>

Cielle was tied by her ankles and handcuffed from just one of her hands to the bed, even tho, she kept quiet, slowly breathing as if her normal breathing would make noise... she thought on if it would be a good idea to talk or not.

With a husky voice (for the lack of speaking) "... let me go..." instead of a hard and demanding voice, as usually Cielle's voice was, a small, almost inaudible beg came out of her lips "But love, my marble statue, my reason to breathe... y-you know i can't, yo-you'll go to the police an--" he was interrupted by small sobbing "Please... just sunlight... or any thing" Oliver felt his heart pounding more than usual, oh how he loved her voice... it was so melodic to his ears, an angels' choir to him. For as innocent as the ginger could be or as childish or gentlemanly as he could get to act, he was a wolf dressed like a sheep, better said, a demon dressed as a gingerbread man.

<<Oliver had already met Mike, Cielle's turtle and he bite the freckled man's finger and both laughed then Oliver screamed every time it happened"Not like that, look, you throw the reptile sticks and then, if he nuzzles his nose with you, it means he's ok with you" she did as she said to show him how to make friendship with a turtle "Oh, like th--AUCH!" Mike bite him again "Maybe he's not comfortable with you... i think it's because you're a man" Oliver gave an intriguing glare at his albino crush "How's that? Also, how are you sure he's a male?" Cielle smiled and took her employer by his chin to guide his piercing blue sight to the slimy boi "Look at his tail, it is long. Female turtles have shorter tails... and are quite gentler when they bite" the man sighed when he accidentally gazed at his precious Snow White "Uhm... poppet, then maybe, Mike is jealous" Cielle nodded "Well, since i arrived to England, there has been only a "Mike and me" kind of story... y'see, i saved him on my mother country from being eaten" both began to walk away from the puddle where Mike was relaxing to a bench nearby "How was that? I mean, i don't know almost anything about you yet you know about my "family... if it can be called that" Cielle stared at Mike trying to catch a fly "Well, it's kinda long, you might want to get comfy"

"The hard part of my story is when... well, since i was born. I never had a father, someone who would guide me and protect me, instead, i had an abusive excuse of a dad. My younger sister is not an albino, in fact, she has pretty ginger-red hair, almost like yours but without the pink on it, she was exotic, i was an error. I used to enjoy watching her play under the sun as she would always ask me to go play over with her but i always ended up denying; we, albinos, can't stay under the sun without sunscreen, sun glasses or a hat that would make a shadow... basically, we're like vampires but without the blood thing" both giggled "I can't tan, seriously, i've tried to many times but i end up looking like a cherry, red" Oliver said with a smile "You're brave" the present gal smiled "Mother loved us by equal and i was grandma's favourite, i'm not saying that Rouge wasn't but i was the most sticked together to her... one day, dad simply took us away from mom and grandma. Rouge was still a baby so i had to raise her, therefore she grew up seeing me as her best friend, as her big sister, and i taught her that i was not the mistake dad and aunt claimed i was. Once i started high school, i got te news that my english was almost the best of the classroom and i got to make a few friends such as Lauren, Ophelia, Judas, Natalie, Alizee, Tony and Necherjet, those were my bestest friends of all life and, thanks to Necherjet, i got a full scholarship here in England." Cielle smiled and gazed the cloudy sky "Of course i had to finish the already begun semester there, and there was a biology fair. I love animals but our project was risky, even for small ladybugs; Mike and another turtle from another team made it and the teacher asked me, as i was just passing by, that if i'd like to take care of a turtle, i sure accepted. He bite me the first time we met: Alizee dared me to poke him but he was scared... the guy that took the turtles there, only raised the for eat them. As our teacher was a marine biologist, she declined the turtles back and, instead, gave them in adoption. I choose Mike because he was as scared as me on he inside, later on, he was pretty shy on the house but i insisted on trying to befriend him and i did it and i can't be prouder of myself" Oliver was kinda teary at this point "You are a hero, princess, a warrioress, how did i got so lucky to meet you?" both giggle as they finally got up to pick Mike from the puddle (Mike hissed at Ollie) "Mike, pretty please? I promised i'd never leave you, k?" the turtle calmed down "I wouldn't consider a warrioress, i'm just a big sister that carried on with her condition" >>

"Will you love me if i do that? You promise to undyingly love me back?" Oliver's piercing blue gaze was filled up with hope, joy "If i take you outside, will you love me back?" once again, she answered in a husky tone "Yes... i'll do... just let me out" Oliver began to cry again, this time, with joy and exitement.

He made it! He had finally made it! After months and months of trying to enamour her... everything just went better since they had moved in toghether "I love you, I promise i do, i promise you'll be happier with me out of this four walls. Let's get you cleaned up" Oliver held Cielle's bloody hand, who did nothing but follow Ollie's moves "It... hurts" she cried out when her kidnapper pulled her hurt limb by her bloody fingers "Oh i'm sorry, you were misbehaving dear. But worry not, gumdrop, i'll clean you up; tell me, doesn't a big tub, filled to top with warm water and bubble soap and sit next to your lover, sounds nice? Of course it is indeed marvellous" and the male placed both of his albino's limbs around his neck "Hold me tight, love" and carried her out of the room "The tub is already done so strip and choose a side on there, i'll be waiting outside. Tell me when you get comfortable in the water and i'll join you" with those last words, he closed the bathroom door and let alone Cielle to strip. Once the both of them were in the tub, Oliver couldn't help but smile, lean and kiss Cielle's forehead "What a lucky man i am for having you. You know i'm not the best guy around but i promise i'll make you happy by my side" along with the water, the freckled man's chest was also warm, that's the peace he always had wished for, even if it was non consensual.

Cielle, eventually, HAD to grow feelings for him. She would never be able to break from the madman; she'd BREAK for the madman.

[honeypiehotchner]

Trust -- part thirty-eight

It’s Best Man Speech time! Also, I’m a liar. This chapter is not the last. The next one is. Oopsies! ;)

“Pray silence for the best man.”

           You squeeze Sherlock’s hand as he stands to his feet, buttoning his jacket and smoothing it down. He really is nervous.

           But to be fair, you’re a little nervous, too. He wouldn’t let you hear the speech—He wouldn’t let anyone hear it, actually. This is brand new to everyone. And while that should be exciting, since it’s Sherlock, it’s a little nerve-wracking.

           John is beaming, though, grinning from ear to ear – possibly a little buzzed. But he does really love Sherlock, and you know that, even when he doesn’t want to admit it. You know those two have a bond like no other. The Baker Street boys, as Mary calls them.

           “Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends. And, um…others.”

           Sherlock’s stuttering continues, prompting you reach up and thread your fingers through his. He glances down, smiling a little.

           “Telegrams,” you hear your brother mutter, and then Sherlock is back.

           “Right, um…” Sherlock picks up the cards. “First things first, telegrams. Well, they’re not actually telegrams, we just call them telegrams, I don’t know why. Wedding tradition. Because we don’t have enough of that already, apparently.”

           “Sherlock,” you whisper warningly.

           He settles again, nodding. “To Mr. and Mrs. Watson. So sorry I’m unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck, and best wishes, Mike Stamford.”

           Ah, Mike. You chuckle.

           “To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big…big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted.” Sherlock sighs. “Mary, lots of love—Oh.”

           John looks up at him. “Yeah?”

           “…poppet.”

           Mary snickers, leaning forward to catch you stifling your own laughter.

           “Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. Wish your family could’ve seen this.”

           You lean forward at that, giving Mary a look of sympathy as John takes her hand in his, comfortingly.

           Sherlock carries on, not missing a beat. “Special day…Very special day…Love…Love…Love…Love…Love. Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People are basically fond.”

           Here we go, you think, wanting to smack Sherlock in the arm, but you decide against it.

           “John Watson. My friend, John Watson. John. When John first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused. I confess at first, I didn’t realize he was asking me. When finally, I understood, I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. I explained to him that I had never expected this request, and that I was a little daunted in the face of it. I nonetheless promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task which was, for me, as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, in some ways, very closed to being moved by it. It later transpired that I had said none of this out loud.”

           The room erupts with laughter, especially coming from John. You laughed loudly, too, because that definitely wasn’t the story you remembered John telling you.

           Sherlock begins rummaging in his coat for some cards. “So…done that. Done that. Done that bit. Done that bit.”

           He takes a deep breath. And continues.

           “I’m afraid John that I can’t congratulate you.”

           Your eyebrows furrow. Odd start. Maybe you should’ve forced him to practice the speech in front of you.

           “All emotions, and in particular love, stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the deathwatch beetle that is the doom of our society and in time, one feels certain, our entire species.”

           The room stills. You stare down at your hands, a little bit worried for the rest of this, and still regretting the fact that you never took a peek at his speech before today.

           “But anyway, let’s talk about John.”

           “Please,” you hear John clear his throat, shifting around in his seat.

           “If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, it is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides.”

           You tilt your head. That was an insult, wasn’t it?

           “It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel.”

           Is he…serious? He absolutely has to be kidding.

           “And contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity to the family idiot.”

           The room rustles again, and you clasp your hands together, willing yourself to keep listening.

           “The point I’m trying to make it that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous,” Sherlock pauses to look down at you, nudging your arm so you’ll look at him. “I am unaware of the beautiful.” He smiles only softly, then turning to Mary and John. “And uncomprehending in the face of the happy.”

           You smile sadly.

           “So, if I didn’t understand that I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend. And certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.

           “John, I am a ridiculous man. Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship and the love from the woman sat to my left.”

           Your breath hitches. You weren’t expecting him to mention you at all.

           “But as I am, apparently, your best friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion.” Sherlock pauses, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Actually, now I can. Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss. So sorry again about that last one.”

           You chuckle softly. He’ll forever be apologizing for the time he was ‘dead.’

           “So know this. Today, you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man and woman you have no doubt saved. In short, the three people who love you move in all this world. And I know I speak for Mary and Y/N as well when I say we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.”

           You reach up and wipe a stray tear away from your cheek, chuckling a little when Sherlock doesn’t seem to notice he’s gotten the rest of the reception hall crying as well.

           “Ah, yes. Now on to some funny stories about John…” Sherlock frowns. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? John? Y/N?”

           “Love…” You shake your head, smiling despite your own watery eyes.

           “Did I do it wrong?”

           “No, you didn’t,” John mutters, pushing his chair back. “Come here.”

           The room applauds while the two of them hug, Sherlock still not understanding anything at all as he tries to continue over the noise. John pats his shoulder and says something to make him stop, but you don’t hear.

           After John is settled back in his chair, Sherlock continues.

           “So, onto some funny stories about John. If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would…be better.” Everyone laughs. “On we go. So, for funny stories, one has to look no further than John’s blog. The record of our time together. Of course, he does tend to romanticize things a big, but then, you know, he’s a romantic.

           “We’ve tackled some strange cases. The Hollow Client. The Poisoned Giant. We’ve had some frustrating cases. Touching cases,” Sherlock rolls his eyes. “And of course, I have to mention, The Elephant in the Room. But we want something very particular for this special day. The Bloody Guardsman.”

           Ah, you remember. The unsolved one. From wedding planning weeks ago.

           “Private Steven Bainbridge had written to us with a concern about someone possibly stalking him. A bloke, no less. Private Bainbridge had just come off guard duty. He’d stood there for hours, plenty of people watching, nothing apparently wrong. He came off duty and within minutes was nearly dead from a wound in his stomach but there was no weapon. Where did it go?

           “Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to consider this: A murderer who can walk through walls. A weapon that can vanish. But in all of this, there is only one element which can be said to be truly remarkable. Would anyone like to make a guess?”

           Good lord. You definitely should’ve looked at his speech.

           “Come on, come on. There is actually an element of Q&A to all of this.” Sherlock clears his throat. “Scotland Yard, have you got a theory?”

           “Don’t pick on Greg,” you mutter.

           “Yeah, you. You’re a detective, broadly speaking. Got a theory?”

           Lestrade crosses his arms over his chest, deciding to entertain Sherlock. “Er, um…If the uh, if the blade was propelled through the um…grating in the air vent… Maybe a ballista or a catapult, uh, somebody tiny could crawl in there. So yeah, we’re looking for a dwarf.”

           “Brilliant.”

           “Really?”

           “No.”

           You shake your head.

           “Hello, who was that? Tom.”

           Sure enough, Tom stands from his chair, Molly sending a frightened look your way. This is going to end badly, it always does when Sherlock gets in one of these moods.

           “Got a theory?”

           “He attempted suicide with a blade made of compacted blood and bone. Broke after piercing his abdomen, like a meat…dagger.”

           “A meat dagger?”

           “Yes.”

           “No.”

           Tom sits back down, and Sherlock continues, clearly annoyed. “There was one feature and only one feature of interest in the whole of this baffling case and quite frankly, it was the usual. John Watson. Who while I was trying to solve the murder, instead saved a life.

           “There are mysteries worth solving and stories worth telling. The best and bravest man I know and on top of that he actually knows how to do that. Except wedding planning and serviettes, he’s rubbish at that.”

           Everyone chuckles at the slight joke.

           “The case itself remains the most ingenious and brilliantly planned murder or attempted murder I’ve ever had the pleasure to encounter. The most perfect locked-room mystery of which I am aware.

           “However, I’m not just here to praise John, I’m also here to embarrass him so let’s move onto some—”

           “No, wait. So how was it done?” Greg interrupts.

           “How was what done?”

           “The stabbing.”

           “He never solved it,” you chime.

           “Yes,” Sherlock nods. “I never solved that one. It can happen sometimes. It’s very…very disappointing. Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night.”

           Oh, dear Lord.

           This night was the night you, Mary, and Molly got together and had dinner before having essentially a big sleepover at John and Mary’s. Because John was out with Sherlock all night, apparently doing something along the lines of having a beer at every place they’ve solved a murder.

           It’s okay, you found the idea weird, too. But Molly said she calculated everything correctly, so they should be fine. Even if it was odd that Sherlock asked her to calculate anything in the first place.

           But anyway, while the three of you were drinking wine and sharing idiot stories of your significant others, John and Sherlock were getting absolutely pissed.

           “‘Course, there’s hours of material here, but I’ve cut it down to the really good bits.”

           Apparently, they were only out for two hours before returning to Baker Street. Mrs. Hudson said she nearly had a heart attack when she walked out with her trash to find them snoozing on the stairs, drunkenly mumbling to each other.

           And then they had a client. Of all things, they had a client that night.

           “The Mayfly Man.”

           They also got arrested, which Lestrade wasted no time calling you about and starting off with saying, “You’re not gonna believe this shit.” You thought it was going to be much worse than what it was, but at least Lestrade was able to get them bailed out with no problem. And thankfully, it never turned up in the papers.

           You still remember after that when Sherlock continued investigating. You were sat in his chair when he had probably six or seven laptops open, talking to all of these women who had encountered the Mayfly Man. John was here as well, helping with the case on his day off.

           Apparently, Sherlock had asked a question to the women and immediately every single one of them signed off. You had warned him to let you help, but he didn’t want you to. He didn’t want to come off as too knowing.

           “Why? Why would he date all of those women and not return their calls?” Sherlock slams the laptop closed, straightening up and buttoning his blazer.

           John snorts. “You’re missing the obvious, mate.”

           “Am I?”

           “You are,” you nod. “He’s a man.”

           Sherlock still doesn’t get it. “So? I’m a man.”

           “You’re a different breed,” you chuckle.

           “But why would he change his identity?” Sherlock asks the rhetorical question to the wedding guests, not noticing their lack of interest. “He was married. Obvious, really. Our Mayfly Man was trying to escape the suffocating chains of domesticity and instead of endless nights in watching telly or going to barbeques with the awful, dreadful, boring people he couldn’t stand, he used his wits, cleverness and powers of disguise to play the field. He was—” Sherlock stops, suddenly surveying the room and seeing their tired faces. He turns to you and you shake your head, motioning for him to stop the story.

           He nods. “On second thoughts, maybe I probably should’ve told you about The Elephant in the Room.

           “However, it does help to further illustrate how invaluable John is to me. I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. I used to think that’s what made me special. Quite frankly, I still do. But a word to the wise: Should any of you require the services of either of us, I will solve your murder, but it will take John Watson to save your life. Trust me on that, I should know. He’s saved mine so many times and in so many ways.

           “This blog,” Sherlock gestures with his phone, “is the story of two men and their frankly ridiculous adventures. Of murder, mystery, and mayhem. But from now on, there’s a new story. A bigger adventure.”

           You watch with a smile as Sherlock glances to the happy couple, and then you watch in surprise as he looks to you.

           “Ladies and gentlemen pray charge your glasses and be upstanding.” You stand with your glass in hand. “Today begin the adventures of Mary Elizabeth Watson and John Hamish Watson. The two reasons why every single one of us is—”

           Sherlock freezes.

           His glass falls from his hands, but no matter about that. You know that look in his eyes. He’s gone. Albeit for a split second, but he’s gone.

           It’s almost like he’s gone to his mind palace.

           The glass shatters as it hits the floor, the noise startling Sherlock back into the real world. He blinks, looking down at the mess he made and tries to brush past it.

           “Oh, sorry, I—” He shakes his head, clearing his throat.

           “Another glass, sir?”

           “Thank you, yes. Thank you. Now, where were we?”

           “Sherlock…” You whisper.

           He looks to you briefly before continuing on. “Ah, yes, raising glasses and standing up. Very good, thank you… And down again.”

           You sit down quickly, casting a worried glance in John and Mary’s direction. The rest of the guests follow, confusion coating their faces.

           “Ladies and gentlemen, people tell you not to milk a good speech. Get off early, leave them laughing. Wise advice I’ll certainly try to bear in mind, but for now…”

           “Sherlock!” You hiss as he jumps over the table.

           “Part two!” He walks down the middle. “Part two is more action based, I’m gonna walk around, shake things up a bit.

           “Who’d go to a wedding? That’s the question? Who would bother to go to any lengths to get themselves to a wedding…? Well, everyone!” Sherlock turns around, clapping his hands. “Weddings are great. Love a wedding.”

           Mary leans forward to look at you. “What’s he doing?”

           “Something’s wrong,” you whisper back. “I don’t know what.”

           “And John’s great, too,” Sherlock points back to the front. “I haven’t said that enough, barely scratched the surface. I could go on all night about the depth and complexity of his jumpers. And he can cook, does a thing – A thing with peas, once. Might not be peas, might not be him, but he’s got a great singing voice – Or somebody does…

           “Too many, too many, too many, too many!” Sherlock screams. He stops himself, turning back around. “Sorry, too many jokes about John. Now, uh… Where was I? Ah, yes. Speech! Speech. Let’s talk about…murder.”

           “Christ, Sherlock,” you smack your forehead.

           “Sorry, did I say murder? I meant to say marriage. But, you know, they’re…quite similar procedures when you think about it, the participants tend to know each other and it’s over when one of them’s dead. In fairness, murder is a lot quicker, though.”

           You watch as Sherlock pulls out his phone and begins texting behind his back – something you hate when he does, but now it’s only worrying you further.

           “Jeff, the gents.” Sherlock looks at Lestrade.

           “It’s Greg!”

           “The loos, please.”

           “Why?”

           “Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s your turn?” Sherlock nods toward the door as Lestrade’s phone beeps. So, Sherlock was texting him. You wish he’d text you to let you know what the hell is going on right now.

           Lestrade looks at his phone and his eyes widen. “Yeah, actually, now that you mention it.” And he disappears through the doors.

           “Sherlock,” John calls out. “Any chance of an end date to this speech? We’ve gotta cut the cake.”

           “Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, can’t stand it when I finally get the chance to speak for once – Vatican Cameos.”

           Your eyes widen. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

           “What did he just say?”

           You scoot over to Sherlock’s seat next to John’ careful of the broken glass. “Vatican Cameos,” you murmur. “It means someone’s going to die.”

           “Not you, not you, you,” Sherlock points to John. “It’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right.”

           John stands to meet Sherlock. “What do I do?”

           “You’ve already done it,” Sherlock whispers, glancing to you. “Don’t solve the murder. Save the life.

           “Sorry,” Sherlock inhales sharply, turning back around. “Off-piste a bit, back now, phew! Let’s play a game. Let’s play murder. Imagine someone’s going to get murdered at a wedding. Who exactly would you pick?”

           “I think you’re a popular choice at the moment, dear,” you hear Mrs. Hudson say, bringing a small smile to your face.

           “If someone could move Mrs. Hudson’s glass just slightly out of reach, that would be lovely. More importantly, who could you only kill at a wedding?”

           Your eyes widen. They lock with Sherlock’s. There’s a brief moment where you wonder if it’s you. After all, this morning was the only time you traveled without Sherlock in a long time. But it doesn’t make sense, you don’t fit. He’s here with you now, and no one was close to you when he wasn’t.

           Sherlock shakes his head slightly. You’re safe.

           “Most people you can kill just any old place,” he continues. “As a mental exercise, I’ve often planned the murder of friends and colleagues. Now, John, I’d poison. Sloppy eater, dead easy. Y/N is a different story. To poison her would ultimately insure my own death sentence. Lestrade’s so easy to kill, it’s a miracle no one’s succumbed to the temptation. I’ve got a pair of keys to my brother’s house, I could easily break in there and asphyxiate him…if the whim arose.

           “So, once again, who could you only kill here?”

           Sherlock’s eyes lock with yours again and you mouth, “Isolated.”

           “Clearly, it’s a rare opportunity, so it’s someone who doesn’t get out much. Someone for whom a planned social encounter known about months in advance is an exception. Has to be a unique opportunity. And since killing someone in public difficult, killing them in private isn’t an option. Someone who lives in an inaccessible or unknown location, then. Someone private, perhaps, obsessed with personal security. Possibly someone under threat.”

           When Sherlock looks to Major James Sholto, you sigh, letting your eyes fall closed. You should’ve known from the minute your brain told you it had to be someone who is truly isolated. Major Sholto is the only one true fit to that statement.

           “Or, a recluse,” Sherlock speaks, now obviously filling the time as he writes something on a card. “Small, house hold staff. High turnover for additional security. Probably have all signed confidentiality agreements.

           “There is another question that remains, however, a rather big one. How would you do it? How do you kill someone in public? There has to be a way. This has been planned.”

           Your eyes widen. “The Bloody Guardsman,” you blurt. “The killer that can walk through walls. The weapon that vanishes.”

           Sherlock stares off when he hears you, Major Sholto standing and leaving in the meantime. Sherlock nods to you. “Not just planned, planned and rehearsed.”

           He slides back up to the front, grabbing a random glass. “Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude. To the bride and groom!”

           Everyone stands for the toast, but Sherlock whirls around, leaning down to the table. “Major Sholto’s going to be murdered. I don’t know how or by whom but it’s going to happen.” Sherlock abruptly kisses you on the forehead before turning and moving his way through the crowd. “Excuse me, coming through, consulting.”

           John gives Mary a kiss before standing, looking to the both of you and saying, “Stay here.”

           As soon as he gets around the table, though, you and Mary look at each other and nod. You stand, linking arms and pushing your way through the crowd, careful not to trip on your dresses as you search for where Sherlock and John went.

           You round the corner just as your brother is laying into Sherlock for not remembering Major Sholto’s room number.

           You roll your eyes and say, “207,” as you and Mary push between them.

           The four of you bound up the stairs and to the left, Major Sholto’s door right at the end of the hall. Sherlock immediately begins banging on the door, trying the handle.

           “Major Sholto!” Sherlock yells, hitting the door with an open hand.

           The Major speaks from behind the door. “If someone’s about to make an attempt on my life, it won’t be the first time. I’m ready.”

           “Major,” John steps forward. “Let us in. Or I’ll kick this bloody door down.”

           “I really wouldn’t,” he calls out. “I have a gun in my hand and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes.”

           “You’re not safe in there. Whoever’s after you, we know that a locked room doesn’t stop him.”

           “Yes, I know. The invisible man with the invisible knife.”

           “I don’t know how he does it, so I can’t stop him and that means he’ll do it again.”

           “Solve it, then.”

           “I’m sorry?”

           “You’re the famous Mr. Holmes. Solve the case, on you go. Tell me how he did it, and I’ll open the door.”

           Sherlock shakes his head, stepping away.

           “Please, this is no time for games. Just let us in, you’re in danger!” John’s voice cracks on a matter of urgency, and the knot is your stomach is twisting dangerously tight.

           “So are you, so long as you’re here,” the Major counters. “Please, leave me. Despite my reputation, I really do not approve of collateral damage.”

           “Solve it,” Mary blurts.

           “Sorry?”

           “Solve it and he’ll open the door, like he said.”

           “I couldn’t solve it before, how can I solve it now?”

           “Because it matters now!” Mary cries.

           “What are you talking about? What’s she talking about? Get your wife under control.”

           “She’s right,” John replies, deadly serious.

           “Oh, you’ve changed!”

           You smack Sherlock’s arm harshly, finally succumbing to the urge you’ve had all evening. “Shut up!” Sherlock looks back at you, dejected and holding his shoulder where you hit it. “She’s right. You are not a puzzle solver, you idiot, you never were. You’re a goddamned drama queen. Now, there is a man in there about to die, the game is fucking on, solve it.”

           Sherlock’s eyes widen, though you can’t tell if it’s in shock or realization, but then he turns to the door, and you hear he’s solved it. “Major Sholto, no one’s coming to kill you. I’m afraid you’ve already been killed several hours ago.”

           “What did you say?”

           “Don’t take off your belt.”

           “The belt,” you mutter. “Of course.”

           “Bainbridge was stabbed hours before we even saw him. But it was through his belt – tight belt, worn high on the waist. Very easy to push a small blade through the fabric and you wouldn’t even feel it.”

           “The belt would bind the flesh together when it was tight. And when you took it off…” John trails away.

           “Exactly. Delayed action stabbing.”

           “Neat,” you mutter, then realizing what you’ve said, you grimace. “Sorry.”

           “You’re supposed to open the door, Major, he solved the case.”

           Silence.

           “Whatever you’re doing in there James, stop it, right now, I will kick this door down!” John yells.

           “You and I are very similar Mr. Holmes,” the Major continues. “There’s a proper time to die, isn’t there?”

           “There is.”

           “And one should embrace it when it comes. Like a soldier.”

           “Of course, but not at John’s wedding!” Sherlock screams. “We wouldn’t do that, would we, you and me? We would never do that to John Watson.”

           Sherlock steps away from the door, and right as John is getting ready to ram his foot through the door, it opens.

           John and Mary disappear into the room, leaving you and Sherlock in the hallway. He suddenly picks you up by your waist and spins you around, setting you down to press a firm kiss to your lips.

           “You’re a drama queen, too,” he pouts.

           “Shut up,” you shake your head, pulling him back into you for another kiss.

[breathinginthevapor]

“Maybe we should just marry each other”

Summary: Your friends are getting married, and you're still stuck being in love with the one guy you'll never get a chance with: your best friend Calum Hood.  

A/N: This is fluff so pure it could've been written by a kitten and I am usually SO bad at writing fluff. It might have something to do with it being like one year old because I thought my PC deleted it but I found it alongside many other pieces, (including the beginning of In Another Life) and I actually really like it. Please leave feedback, it would mean a great deal to me! (and can we just talk about how I wrote about Mike and Crys getting engaged a fucking year before it happened?)

Masterlist

I don’t own the picture, it’s from Calum’s instagram.

He’s sitting in the sunlight, a baby blue button-up complimenting his tan skin and his brown eyes almost golden, reflecting the rays of the sun. His face lights up in big grin and your heart swells at the sight. How can he be so beautiful?  

“You’re drooling, sweetie.” You turn around at the sound of Crystals voice, her worried eyes meeting yours. You can feel your cheeks heating up and curse yourself for being so obvious.  

“I am not!” you object when you’ve gotten yourself together. She shoots you a small apologetic smile.  

“You are. And I don’t blame you Y/N, I just don’t want to see you getting hurt.” She pulls you into a tight hug, calming you down and you telepathically thank Michael for bringing her into your life. She always looks out for you and knows what you need, and you are internally grateful for the way she has your back.  

“I know. Thank you for being here for me, Crys, but I can take care of myself. I promise.” Crystal nods and smiles again before pushing you in the direction of your best friends.  

“Of course you can sweetie. Go enjoy yourself now, you’re only young once, you know!” you laugh at her last words and wink at her before making your way to the boys. They’re all dressed a little more formal than usual but still with the little twist that lets their personalities shine through. It’s a wonder how the boys you grew up with and watched go through awkward emo phases developed such a great fashion sense.  

“Hey Y/N,” Ashton says and shoots you a big smile. The four boys are sitting in the grass with beers in their hands and comfortable facial expressions. It’s not often they have time for things like these so when they finally do, they make sure to enjoy it to the fullest.  

“Hi guys,” you great them before sitting down beside Calum in the grass. He looks at you smiling, and your pulse slows down. No matter what, Calum’s presence always makes you calm.  

“How is Crys handling the grill?” Michael asks worriedly, clearly not trusting his fiancée 100% with the cooking. You laugh, assuring him she’s doing fine. “I think I’m gonna go check up on her either way,” he says, standing up. “And Y/N, don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Just Dance duel you’ve promised me. I’m gonna win that shit.” All of you laugh and Michael smiles wryly.  

“Not a chance, Clifford.” He shows you the middle finger and winks at you before going to greet his fiancé. He embraces her and kisses her hair, and your purple-haired friend smiles so bright you’re sure she outshines the sun. The love they share is both hypnotizingly and painfully beautiful because while you’re so insanely happy for them, you’re also so jealous it hurts. They have exactly what you long for with your entire being while the odds for you getting it anytime soon seems so small it’s pathetic.  

“Isn’t it crazy? Our friends are getting fucking married. We are getting that old, guys,” Luke says, and the thought finally hits you. You’ve known these guys for the bigger part of your life and without really noticing it, you’ve gotten so old that people your age are starting their own families. And here you are, on the contrary: single, living alone in your apartment with a cat that only really likes you when you feed him, your best friends gone for most of the year and in love with a guy that’ll never reciprocate your feelings. What have you done with your life?  

You sink down a lump in your throat, praying that your eyes won’t get watery. It would be so typical you to start crying over something as stupid as this.  

“Wow, that’s just depressing. Thanks, Luke,” Ashton answers. “And I’m even older than the rest of you! I swear to fucking God, I found a grey hair this morning.” You all laugh at the exaggeration of the brown-haired boy and shake your heads in disbelief.  

“Is that a wrinkle right there?” Luke jokingly asks, causing Calum and you to laugh again.  

“Oh fuck off, Hemmings. Wanna play some ball, anyone? I’ll fall asleep if I keep sitting here talking to you idiots.” You stick your tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes.  

“Real mature, Y/N,” Luke laughs as he stands up, joining Ashton’s proposition.  

“I’ll pass,” Calum says, and you nod, agreeing. The two others go off and starts kicking the ball around, careless expressions and big smiles on their faces. Perhaps that’s just how it is when you have a job like they have. Perhaps it’s hard to fully grow up when you don’t face the same challenges as others your age. But no matter what, you hope this immaturity will be in them forever. They wouldn’t be the real them without it, to be honest.  

You yawn, suddenly feeling a bit tired. It’s been a long, good day with your closest friends, but the stress from work has also been taking its toll on you lately, and it’s showing now. Calum looks at you and then scoots closer to you.  

“You can lay your head in my lap if you want. You might be more comfortable that way.” You smile gratefully at him before laying down in the grass with your head in his lap and his hands massaging you scalp with a gentle touch.  

“You’re not saying much today, Cal,” you point out after laying in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes. There’s nothing criticizing in your voice, there never is between you and Calum, it’s only an observation and you don’t punk him for answers but simply give him the chance to explain if he wants to.    

“Nah, I just- I’ve been thinking, ya know?” you look up at him, his eyes locking with yours. They completely capture you they like they’ve done so many times before, the brown orbs leaving you in awe.    

“About what?”  

“I dunno, I just … All this is making me afraid that I’ll end up alone while all of you are starting your own families and I’ll just be left to myself,” he says, looking away. You can sense how serious he is by the way his jaw is clenching, and all you want to do is make him feel better. You know that he’s sometimes been frustrated by the fact that all the other boys have girlfriends they can share their life with while he hasn’t, but then again he hasn’t really done anything about it even though many girls would die to be dating your rock star best friend.  

“Calum, honey, you will never be left to yourself. All of us here today will always there for you, you know that,” you assure him, gently grabbing his head and turning it towards you. “Besides, I can’t imagine I’ll find someone that’ll want to share their life with me anytime soon, or perhaps ever, either. We can be lonely together.”  

He shakes his head, not agreeing with you.  

“Of course you will. You are clever and beautiful and sweet and funny and you make the best apple pie ever. Any man would be a fool not to fall in love with you,” he argues, looking you in the eye to show you how much he means what he says.  

“You seem to be the only one who thinks so, Cal. I haven’t had a boyfriend or even gone on a third date for years,” you sigh, not telling him the real reason behind the lack of romance in your life. How could you go out with some random guy or girl when your heart is set on someone else?  

“Maybe we should just marry each other then? Buy a nice house in the suburban and get a dog and perhaps a baby one day.” You can’t decide whether he’s joking or not. His voice is trembling, although serious but there’s a smile on his lips that you don’t quite know how to interpret. But when he laughs, your heart breaks. Because everything he just described is what you so desperately want for your future and it’s all just a joke to him.  

“I- I- I think I’m gonna go help Crys and Mike,” you whisper, feeling the tears forming in your eyes and standing up as fast as possible to prevent him from seeing how affected you are. But contrary to what you had hoped for, he stands up beside you.  

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Did I overstep? I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me,” he begs, sounding more desperate than ever. You turn your face away, trying to hide your tears but he notices, of course he does. You’ve been best friends for almost two decades, after all. He grabs your arm, gently turning you around so you face him.  

“I can’t do this, Calum, please let go of me.”  

He shakes his head. “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll let you go.” You look him straight in the eye, one small part of you hating him for making you say what you’re gonna have to say. But the rest of you, the bigger part, just loves him with all of your heart.  

“I’m in love with you, you idiot, that’s what’s wrong,” you sigh, voice so low you pray he doesn’t hear you. But you can see it in his face that he does. “And everything you just joked with, it’s my dream, Calum. And the idea is just all fun and games to you.” His grab on you loosens, clearly so shocked by your confession that he forgets to hold on to you. But you don’t run away. After all these years, you deserve a proper rejection. Maybe then you can move on.    

"How- how long?" he asks, when he has gotten back the ability to speak.  

"Since forever, I guess." You shrug, defying the urge to look away.  

“Why didn’t you say anything?” His voice is barely a whisper, but the tension is thick as a brick and you’re sure that the others are watching you right now. They’ve all been waiting for this moment, and you know they’re all anxious to see the outcome.  

“Why should I? I’ve never had a chance, I know that. So tell me, Calum, why should I have told you? Because it sure as hell wouldn’t have made any difference!” You’ve raised your voice now, the sharp tone in your voice unfamiliar to both yourself and the Maori boy across you.    

“A difference? It would have changed everything, dammit!” he shouts, his face growing almost red with anger. “I’ve loved you my whole life and now you come and say you’ve felt the same for me? What the fuck, Y/N!”  

You are in shock. Completely. This can’t be true. You’ve spent so many years telling yourself it was hopeless while he has felt the same for you.  

“You- you’re lying,” you whisper, suddenly not having the energy to raise your voice anymore. He shakes his head, taking deep breaths as to calm himself down.  

“I’m not.” He walks closer to you, slowly like he’s afraid you’ll run away. But his eyes are back to normal and the anger is completely gone from the brown orbs. And how could you ever run away from him? He´s magnetic to you, always pulling you back if you stray too far away.  

“You promise? That you’re in love with me?”  

“I promise.”  

He puts his hand on your cheek, the rough skin from playing stringed instruments all his life caressing you. And you expect to see a different face, any sign that something’s changed but you find nothing. And then you realise it’s because he’s always been this way. Because, if he’s being honest with you (which you’re pretty sure he is, Calum has never been able to fool you with any lie) then he has always loved you. Nothing’s changed, you just haven’t realized before now that the way he carried you home when your feet hurt too much was more than just a friendly gesture, that the way his gaze lingered a little longer on you than everybody else was because he cared more for you than he dared to admit and that his “I-love-you”s wasn’t the kind you told your best friend. It was more.  

And when he kisses you, first hesitant but then, when you kiss him back with greater force, more insistently. And although it’s not fireworks, it’s some sort of release which feels much better. It’s years of emotions unwinding and freeing themselves from their cage. And when you pull away from each other, only to put your forehead against his where you can still feel his breath against your lips, you are both shaking.  

“I wish we’d been a little smarter so we could have done this every single day of our lives,” he says. You smile, silently agreeing with him and then you place your lips on his for the second time.  

“Finally!” Michael yells, and the others cheer.  

“Took you long enough, huh?” Ashton says, but neither you nor Calum listens to them. Perhaps everyone knew besides yourselves, but this is your moment, and you won’t let them interfere.  

“I'm pretty sure love you, Calum Hood.” He smiles, pulling you in a little tighter.  

“And I'm absolutely certain that I love you, Y/N. More than anything.” And when you’ve kissed one more time, you finally let go of each other and turn to your friends who are all looking at you with happy faces. Perhaps you and Calum will have your own wedding one day, but for now you just focus and Michael and Crystal’s. You’ve got all the time in the world, after all.  

[allixiler]

SPOILERS: STRANGER THINGS SEASON 3–My favorite moments so far;

EPISODES 5-8

•OK the people at The Hawkins Post are LITERAL JERKWADS

•Billy crying in the sauna because he knows the Mind Flayer is making him do it

•Max crying with him :(

•Nancy and Jonathan’s fight in the car made me big time sad

•OH but Nancy and Karen’s enlightening conversation in the kitchen was GOLD

•Hopper getting beat up by the Russian man

•Joyce taking care of Hopper made my heart soar

•Hopper’s dad bod x2

•Erica is such a little diva...i LovE iT

•”Free ice cream...FOR LIFE.”

•”Nerds”

•Ol’ Mayor Larry needs to take a major chill pill

•Hopper beating the everloving squat out of him was SO NECESSARY

•The fact that Hopper was calling the Russian guy that they kidnapped “Smirnoff” made me LOL

•SPEAKING OF, when Smirnoff (Alexei) ran off because he saw a 7/11, I BURSTED INTO LAUGHTER

•And his happy little smirk when he had his cherry slushie in the car :D

•When El used her powers to knock the snacks out of the hospital vending machine for Mike and Lucas — <3

•How the did the Reception Nurse not realize that the lights were flickering and that there was an actual MONSTER down the hall?

•I REALLY THOUGHT JONATHAN WAS DONE FOR I MEAN THAT CHAIR SMACKED THE LIGHTS OUTTA HIM

•This is a very unpopular opinion I’m sure, but Max needs to mind her own business. Good Lord, she’s stirring up drama for no reason

•Alexei’s favorite slushie flavor is cherry, and that’s canon

•MIKE SAYING THAT HE LOVES EL

•This was so important, I mean I was JAW DROPPED

•Lucas’ smug look and everyone else was like (^｡^)

•El seeing Billy and his mom on the beach

•I really liked how it showed his childhood trauma, because it really does explain Billy’s toughness and hard demeanor

•I BECAME VERY CONCERNED FOR EL. I MEAN THE MIND FLAYER AND THE FLAYED ARE LIKE...COMING FOR HER

•Somewhat side note: I’m a huge Bobby Flay fan (please don’t judge me) and everytime they say “the Flayed” I picture hundreds of Bobby Flay’s running around

•OK. NOW. STEVE, ROBIN, ERICA, AND DUSTIN.

•Steve getting beat up looked painful

•Dustin and Erica were comedic gold

*NOTE: All of the following points are after I finished the last episode so if it’s out of order and somewhat angsty, that’s why*

•Steve and Robin drugged up was a nice touch

•Them throwing up together was even nicer

•Steve confessing that he liked her was SO heartfelt and sweet

•Her being afraid to tell him she’s a lesbian and then him 100% accepting it just proves how good of a human he is

•Hop, Joyce, Murray, and Alexei at the fair was such chaotic energy

•Alexei is so presh, I fell in love

•I REPEAT. It’s canon that his favorite slushie is cherry

•His little fan base of kids watching him pop the balloons

•I had JUST told my friend that I hoped he’d be in the next season, and then 30 seconds later meanie Russian man shot him

•#alexeideservedbetter

•When Hopper met Joyce and Murray at the car he actually didn’t call him Smirnoff for once

•The bite on El was NASTY

•I was scared that it was going to be like The Walking Dead and she was going to be flayed because she was bit

•The relief that washed over me when the kids reunited was so strong

•Hopper and El’s little father-daughter moment was so pure

•”Mike—be careful.”

•The car thing stressed me out so bad

•The Mind Flayer got bigger every time I think

•When Max asked Nancy if she was gonna kill Billy, I knew he was gonna die somehow

•The mirrors scene at the fair was so so so cool

•SUZY WAS REAL AND SHE WAS ADORABLE

•And a good singer!

•She’s so stubborn and I love it

•Dustin and Suzy’s duet was beautiful

•I died laughing when it cut to Steve and Robin in the backseat listening to them sing with The Mind Flayer just bip bopping after them

•Hopper and Joyce in the Russian uniforms was such a FIT

•JOYCE RE-PLANNING THEIR DATE MADE ME FEEL WHOLE

•However, this gave me the feeling that Hop was gonna die or get hurt

•The suspense was so real when Hop was fighting off the Russian guy and Joyce couldn’t reach both keys

•And then when he gave a little nod at Joyce to do it even though he would die

•I SOBBED YALL

•I SOBBED x2

•And then Will hugged Joyce and El was looking for Hopper

•The fact that El is moving with Joyce, Will, and Jonathan was relieving

•El telling Mike that she loved him, YEs

•But I realized that El can’t find Hopper because she lost her powers

•Now, for the real one.

•The real tear jerker

•Hopper’s letter.

•Oh, my goodness gracious alive, the sobs coming out of me were not human

•He referenced so many things from season 1 and 2 and of course referenced back to the first episode of this season

•”Keep the door open 3 inches.”

•And he told El that he had forgotten how to feel until he met her

•I could go on forever about the letter, but I won’t tell all the good stuff :)

•Okay. Now. The End Credits scene.

•This, of course, hints that Hopper is indeed alive

•My friend and I argued this. She thinks he’s dead, but I think he’s alive. Here’s why.

•First, The Duffer Brothers are very good about making sure no storylines/relationships go to waste without reason.

•So, there would have been absolutely NO PURPOSE in building up Hopper and Joyce’s relationship and then just killing him.

•Unless, they want to continue to build Joyce’s list of lost loves. Which, yes, is possible.

•Secondly, the Russian guard said “not the American” when the other guard was walking by one of the cells

•So, OBVIOUSLY someone we know (or at least have heard of) is in that cell

•And who’s the only person we know of that could have possible made way to Russia?

•Hopper

•I think he jumped in the portal (or the gate, if you will) and it took him to Russia somehow or another

•Maybe it took him directly there, or he traveled through the Upside Down and ended up there

•That’s JUST A THEORY

•This is not confirmed or anything, it’s up to interpretation. Hopefully, we will find out soon!

THANK YOU FOR READING THESE! Season 3 was fantastic, I can’t wait for 4!!

[emmettspeakz]

Reddie dancing oneshot

Short synopsis: After 27 years, it’s the night before the final battle with It and the Losers have decided to spend what they think is their last night alive together in the clubhouse. Ben and Beverly have suggested a dance party but Eddie and Richie don’t really know how to dance. Eddie is more worried, however, about how his secret crush on his best friend will go over because he has decided to tell Richie before they fight It tomorrow. 

*NO IT CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS, it just takes place 27 years later*

Warnings: IMPLIED angst, but not really, just reddie fluff and a little bit of implied bill x mike but more platonic, some Benverly cuz why not? This is mainly a reddie thing I’ve been thinking about writing for a while now so enjoy! Feedback as always is super appreciated! Thanks! <3

“No, absolutely not!”

It was the last night before the big final showdown with It, and Eddie was not having any of this nonsense. He was surprised that Richie was going along with the whole dance party idea that Ben and Beverly had suggested, since Eddie knew for a fact that Richie hated dancing. Or he guessed, Richie had hated dancing as a kid. He had always been clumsy on his feet, his big glasses always falling off his face, and Eddie guessed that even among friends, Richie didn’t want to attract attention to himself, or be made fun of for his lack of dance skills. 

“Oh c’mon, Eds.” Richie encouraged him. “This is our last night before we might all die.”

The other losers looked at him and frowned.

“B-Beep beep Richie.” Bill spoke up as the awkwardness filled the room.

“Sorry, I’ll go fuck myself.” Richie moved away a bit, going to go sit down. His eyes locked on Eddie who was looking at him worriedly. 

“I still think you should dance, Eds.” Richie told him, his hands going into his jacket pockets. 

“Shut up Richie, you know I hate when you call me that.”

“Oh come on Eddie! This might literally be the last time that I can call you that.”

“B--”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Richie held his hand to stop Mike who was going to beep beep him again. 

“Come on Eddie, it’s just us. We should go for it.”

Eddie bit his lip, considering whether or not he wanted to when a familiar song came on. Richie got up from his sitting position and started shimming his shoulders to the beat even though there wasn’t one quite yet.

“A Chris Brown song? Really Ben?” Eddie asked. “Forever by Chris Brown?”

“C’mon, it’s catchy. I don’t have to like him to enjoy his music okay?”

“Like you hate Michael Jackson, right?” Beverly laughed. “His songs are really good. Even though he’s definitely a pedophile.”

“Yeah, alright,” Ben mocked her a little. “Chris Brown is an abuser but his music, well this song, is really good so just shut up and listen to it, okay?”

Beverly hesitated a moment, and it was clear that she was remembering all the past abuse she had experienced in the last 27 years but just dancing to a catchy song, while Ben moved and swayed next to her, being a dork and looking like a fool in the clubhouse, she let all her past memories melt away.

Meanwhile, Richie walked over to Eddie, moving his mouth along to the song and holding his hands out for Eddie. Eddie felt his face get hot, and he sat on his hands to avoid taking his best friend’s hands in his. 

“Oh c’mon Eddie, I won’t bite.”

Eddie grinned up at Richie, who was jabbing his face with his hands to get Eddie off his ass to go dance with him. Bill and Mike were already dancing together, making weird moves with their arms and legs and spinning, as if that meant they were dancing real well. Eddie couldn’t help but look at them and laugh, a deep, full of content laugh that shook his entire body with joy. 

“Well, weezy?” Richie asked. “It’s now or never.”

Eddie laughed then looked at the ground before peering back into Richie’s eyes that were dim in the faded light of the clubhouse. 

“Call me Eds.” He said, taking Richie hands in his and blushing slightly. Richie didn’t seem to notice.

The chorus was coming up as Richie led Eddie to where the others were dancing. The others cheered when the two of them went on the dance floor then turned back to do their own thing, as if to give them privacy because Eddie was shy. Eddie appreciated the other losers at lot at that moment because he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Richie, who moved a hand to slick back his black hair, only for it to flop back to the front of his face again. 

Richie and Eddie kept their hands touching, holding their arms out across from each other as Richie began to step with the music and Eddie followed, though somewhat awkwardly. Then Eddie’s heart nearly burst out of his chest as Richie started actually singing the lyrics to the song. Before he had just been mouthing along to the song but now he was actually singing the lyrics. His voice was slightly hoarse and dry from sweating so much and his usual voice was so much deeper but Eddie couldn’t help but smile at Richie as he sang his heart out along to the song. 

It’s like I’ve waited my whole life, for this one night. It’s gonna be me, you, and the dance floor. ‘Cause we only got one night, double your pleasure, double your fun. 

Eddie chuckled, his face bright red as Richie leaned into him slightly, their foreheads touching. 

And dance forev-ev-ev-er, oh forev-ev-ever, forev-ev-ever, forev-ev-ever. 

Eddie looked at Richie as the room spinned, Richie taking him and spinning him around along to the song before pushing their foreheads back into each other for the chorus again. 

Eddie was almost crying from happiness, as his warm forehead brushed his friend’s again, laughing so hard and grinning the whole time. The others were staring at them but he didn’t take any notice, wrapped in the sight of Richie singing at him in such an obvious, romantic way. The song was so fitting for this last night, but Eddie decided not to think about that right now. 

All you gotta do is watch me, Richie moved his right leg to the right, then the other to the left. Look what I can do with my feet. Then he moved his legs back to the middle. 

Richie picked his arm up and spun him again before lunging forward so their faces touched again. 

Baby, feel the beat ins-iiide. Driving, you can take the front seat. I just need you to trust me. 

Eddie was grinning from ear to ear, wrapping his arms around Richie’s torso, catching a glimpse of Richie’s red face as he did so, then moved them up to cup behind Richie’s neck. As the next chorus came, Richie was enveloped in Eddie’s arms. In one swift moment, the chorus of the song swelling, Eddie got up on his tippy toes, leaning in to kiss Richie on the lips. 

The music faded into the background as Richie and Eddie just gaped at each other, both of their faces pink with the realization of what had just happened. Eddie leaned in to whisper in Richie’s ear. 

“Whatever happens tomorrow,” Eddie said quietly, afraid the others would overhear and ruin the moment. “Just know that I’ve been waiting to do that for a really long time.”

Richie blinked in astonishment. 

“How long exactly?” He teased in his usual Richie way.

“Nearly 27 years. I can’t believe I forgot what you do to me.” Eddie admitted, his face growing hotter and redder with each passing moment. 

“I love you Eds.” Richie said quietly, so quietly that only Eddie could hear. Eddie liked it that way. The confession was just for him and him alone. 

“I love you too Trashmouth.”

“Hey!”

“Oh shut up!”

Richie smiled and leaned in to kiss Eddie again before moving to allow Eddie to rest his chin on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around him in an embrace. Eddie caught the others looking at them.

“Oh, hey guys.” He said awkwardly, smiling. 

“Enjoying the view?” Richie asked. Eddie smacked him on the arm.

“Shut up Richie!” He giggled.

The others laughed too, Ben and Bill giving them a thumbs up, Beverly and Mike looking at each other and then back to the two men, smiling broadly. 

Eddie had never felt more at home than he did right then.

[fivesoskingdom]

blank space - m.c

A/N: There's smut. There's curse words. This is huge. You have been warned.

Summary: Y/N is a girl who loves have sex with everyone. Until she meets Michael. (based on blank space, by Taylor Swift)

Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things.

Your Instagram bio was exactly what most described you: I'm Taylor's muse for Blank Space. You surely made history in some guys - and girls - lifes. You wouldn't consider yourself as a bad girl, more like a free, wild spirit and it wasn't exactly your fault if people kept falling in love with you even when you said a thousand times that you didn't do relationships. You liked the fun, the world was too crowded and too big to be with only one person in life. Even though you didn't date all the people you had been with, you certainly showed another way to see the world to them. Mostly of those people were now in a serious relationship or even married, all thanks to you and what they called the best worst experience of their lifes.

Saw you there and I thought: Oh my God, look at that face, you look like my next mistake!

You were between dates. Last person you were envolved was a beautiful singer - still in the closet - that tried to use you as LGBT flag. Your sexuality was no secret, you were already a LGBT spoken person, especially for the bi girls, but you couldn't be hers flag. Ended up with her ranting you online, but it was part of life, right? Right.

Saturday night, LA club. Your body was sweating already, you were drunk and dancing with anyone who asked you to. That's when you saw him. Tall, blonde, green eyes and a baby smile.

"Am I crazy or it's Michael Clifford over there?" you asked your best friend.

"Y/N, don't." she said. "I know Mike, he's a cute boy, too pure for this world. He wouldn't take what you want to give. Please don't break him."

"I'm just going to say hi." you say already walking even though your best almost begging you to don't. You had been with too much good guys to know that they aren't that good after all and you were sure that Michael wasn't either.

"I like your band." you say in his ear, he turns around to see you, one second of confusion in his face, but soon being replaced by a smirk.

"I like your channel." he says. Yes, you had a huge YouTube channel.

"Good to know." you smile. "I saw you and thought about saying hi. So, hi."

"Hi." he giggles. "Nice to meet you."

"What you are drinking?" you leans over him, trying to see his cup, but it was already empty.

"I'll have what you have." he said again.

"You don't know what you just agreed to." you smile were almost evil.

And I know you heard about me, so hey, let's be friends? I'm dying to see how this one ends.

Michael was better than you thought. That said, he wasn't as good as you wanted either. You two didn't pass from kisses.

"I know you." he said, you furrow your eyebrows. "I'll not be another one in your list."

"That's new." you confess, the smirk doesn't fall out of your face. "Usually the boy is the one with the fame."

"It happens." he shrugs. You two were in the parking lot, his back in some wall a little hidden and you hugging him from his neck. "We can be friends, tho."

"This, this is really new." you almost laughed. "You get this hard with all your girl friends?" his cheeks got a slightly shade of pink.

"It depends. Only with the ones who rubs themselves into my cock in the middle of the club."

"That's the one who you should keep." you smile again. "But that's OK, Mike boy. We can be friends if you want. I'm dying to see how this one ends."

Cherry lips, crystal skies, I could show you incredible things. Stolen kisses, pretty lies, you're the king baby I'm your Queen.

Being Michael's friend was better than you imagine that it would be. The boy was fun and could make you laugh for hours with his stupid jokes. After the night in the club you started to go to his house often, suddenly you didn't want him to be another one in your list, you liked him as a friend.

"Hey pretty girl." he smiles at you when find you in his couch. "What's the plans for today?"

"I don't know. I'm just passing by, really. Taylor's, party is today, need to be on point."

"Oh, that's why you have this sexy tanned legs. Gotcha." his hands are in your legs, the fingers passing by.

"You look cute trying to dirty talk to me. Need game up, tho." you smile and he raises one eyebrow.

"It wasn't dirty talk." he laughs. "I don't get cute when I dirty talk."

"I dunno." you say "You're the cutest thing in the world."

"Are you challenging me?" his eyebrows still raised.

"No, I'm not." you say nodding. "Let's not go through this."

"What are you talking about?" he turned his head a little, like a dog wanting to listen his owner, his hands still in your leg.

"Look, we're friends now. I like that we're friends, I don't have many, so please let's not fuck it now."

"You took life less seriously when we met." he chuckled. "Never thought of you being afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you, Mike." you nod, getting a little closer to him. "But Y/F/N is right, you're a good guy, a pure soul and I have the slight gift of putting good guys away from me."

"OK then." he nods and you smile.

Find out what you want

"Gotta go." you leans over him and kiss his cheek, but before you could get up, he holds your chain and steal a kiss from you. Your mouths just touched each other for no more than three seconds, but he let's you go with a smile. "Why?"

"Your lips smell like cherry. I love cherry."

"You shouldn't have done that." you just get up and got out his house.

Find out what you want, be that girl for a month, wait the worst is yet to come.

"You crossed a line, Clifford." you say when met him at the party. The tall boy looks behind him, seeing you with a side smile. "You shouldn't have crossed that line." Michael can't find any words to say. He's looking at you from head to toe with his mouth slightly open. Your body is sparkling because of your tan, your legs being shown with your little white dress, they seem longer because of the black shoes you use. Your hair is now a little pink, your mouth spark a little with a light pink lipstick. Michael feels like he's seeing something directly from his dreams. "Close your mouth."

"You look fucking hot." It's all he says, making you chuckle. "Seriously."

"Well, I know. But thank you anyway."

You don't stay with him for too long. When you first met him, you couldn't stop thinking about fucking him, but then you two turned friends and this thoughts got away from your head. But Michael had to kiss you this afternoon. You told you didn't want it, but he did anyway and now you want in your bed. This time doesn't matter if he's a good guy, if he has a pure soul that you were, probably, going to currupt. You wanted Michael and you are going to get him. Didn't took too long until he was with you again. His body so glued to yours that not even air could pass through. He's kissing your neck and letting some slightly red bruises, you're rubbing yourself against him and minute by minute you can feel him getting more and more hard.

"Come." you push his shirt starting to walk though the crowd to the bathroom, but you're interrupted in the middle of the way because Michael stops to talk to someone. But not anyone. July, the last girl you hooked up with. Before you or even him could see, she's wrapped around his neck and kissing him.

Screaming, crying, perfect storm, I can make all the tables turn.

"Are you fucking insane?" you pull her away from him. She's smiling, he's lost.

"What? You're the only one who can kiss and fuck everyone in this place?" her smile is evil. Pure evil.

"You can fuck everyone here, including yourself, but not the guy I'm with." you scream. Everyone around you already stopped dancing to watch the scene.

"So you were with him? I thought you didn't do relationships." she don't stop smiling and you need all your self control to not punch her in the face.

"Shut the fuck up." you say and push Michael again, who's just looking at both of you in silence.

Keep you second guessing like "Oh my God, who is she?" I get drunk on jealousy.

"Have you lost your mind?" Michael screams once you two are out of the party. "What the fuck was that?"

"I should be asking this, Michael." you cross your arms. "You were with me."

"We are friends? You don't own me? If it was with you, you would be kicking my ass right now?" he has lost all his patience.

"I fuck everyone I want to, but I never do two people at the same time. And I don't even like threesomes. Excuse me if I thought that you were going to spend the night with me."

"You didn't even wanted that this afternoon!" he put his hands through his hair. "I don't get you, seriously. I'm just going back inside. Please don't follow me."

"No you won't."

"What?"

But you'll come back each time you leave, 'cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

You don't say anything else, just hold him by his neck and kiss him. Michael doesn't know what to do in the first minutes, but soon he hold your waist and get you closer to him. Your hands are messing with his hair, his hands are slowly going down your waist until your thighs, he holds them so you can put your legs around his waist and he can pull you against the wall. The kiss is urgent, so full of lust that you can't even breath, neither of you can, but air seems like unnecessary right now. He slides his hands until he's touching your inner thighs just to discover that you aren't using any underwear.

"Holy shit." he says, his voice cracking, you smile. You can feel that his cock is so hard that must be hurting inside his pants, so you just open them, gaining a moan of gratitude. "I wish I could undress you."

"Be good now and maybe we can do that later." you smile. Michael nods, he starts kissing your neck making you moan a little. Your dress is a little large, so it's not that difficult to him to put your boobs out and start to lick and suck them. His fingers start to work in your pussy, making circles in your clit, what makes you almost see stars. "Always knew you weren't a good guy."

"Depends on your point of view." his smile is so dirty that you get lost for a second, coming back to yourself when you feel him inside you. A loud moan get out of your mouth because of that, he gives you one second to get use to this before starting to move. One of his hands still in your clit and you're pretty sure that you aren't going to hold that much time. Michael is painting in your ear, he's talking obscenities, what's just makes you even more crazy.

"I'm not going to last long." you say between moans.

"Oh, you're." he says, making you open your eyes. "You're going to cum just when I let you." that's something you didn't expect from him. Not at all. You bite your bottom lip, knowing that hold orgasms wasn't something that you could do for too long. And if he wanted to play, you were going to love to play with him. You start to kiss his neck, biting every skin you can get, Michael moans even more and you know that he wasn't going to last that long either. "I know what you're doing." he slows down a little, making you moan in disappointment.

"You do?" you smile, taking off your dress and getting absolutely naked.

"Fuck." he comes back to his initial pace, going so hard on you that your back is hurt from pushing the wall. He can't stop sucking your boobs, making every second harder to hold your orgasm.

"Michael, please, let me cum." you beg, Michael smiles.

"Love see you begging. Cum for me, babe." he says and you finally let it go, your body all on fire, your eyes closed and you're biting your bottom lip so hard to not scream. Mike cums seconds after you, putting his head on your shoulder to catch his breath. "Fuck."

"That describes well." you chuckle. You two get in that way for a minute before he let's you down on the floor.

"You're hot as fuck. I can't even believe." he's looking at you from head to toe again. You smile, turning around so he can see all of you before you kiss him for a second and then put your dress again.

Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane, 'cause you know I love the players and you love the game.

"Internet is going insane." he says showing you another picture of you both and then one picture of you with another guy. For the first time in your life, you were with two people at the same time. Not that you like it, no, but being just with Michael for the past six months would be a stupid move on your already known game of not dating, to you two kept fucking and you were with another people too. You couldn't say that Michael was the best you ever had, even though he could get close to, but sex with him was always good and your relationship were simple. He's open to try everything you say and that is something that you wouldn't find easy on guys.

"Internet is always insane." you shrug. "I don't care, he doesn't care, you don't care. That's all good."

"Why you do this?" he sits by your side. It's early Saturday and he's going on tour for three weeks on Monday.

"Do what?" you look at him.

"This whole sex game. The don't do relationships things. The fucking everyone in the world."

"It's cool, it's fun, why should I be with one person alone? I like people in general. There's no one who could satisfy everything I need."

"I like your game." he smiles and you raise one eyebrow. "I truly do. I just want to see how much time you can take it. I live being in the first row eating popcorn and watching everything."

" I love the players and you love the game." you smile just to laugh with him after.

But I've got a blank space baby and I'll write your name.

The tour became longer than you expected. Michael was gone for almost four months before came back. You miss him, you miss your friend and you fuck buddy, miss being able to talk to him face to face. In four months you had another three partners, neither of them was cool like Mike. The first one was great on dirty talk, but sucked at fucking. The second one was great fucking, but had the worse opinions about everything ever. The third one was more of a cuddle than a fucker. So when Mike said that he was coming home, you got your extra key from his apartment and got your way to there. He welcomed you the way you both loved, you couldn't even get to the bedroom, you were already naked on his dinner table and moaning so loud that you were one hundred per cent sure that all the neighbors heard.

"So..." he said after you got your third orgasm of the day on his mouth. "Four months. I missed you."

"I missed you too." you say trying to catch your breath. "Definitely missed this beautiful mouth of yours." you smile.

"I know I'm the best on it." he laid down by your side on the carpet. "Tell me everything about your partners in this four months."

"They made me miss you even more." you admit. "You're the whole package, Clifford. Your future girlfriend will be the luckiest girl on earth and I will be missing you when this day come."

"You could be her." he says and you laugh, sure that was a joke, but he wasn't laughing.

"I thought we had pass this." you nod. "I don't do relationships, Mike. You know."

"Listen." he says, you open your mouth to talk, but he doesn't let you. "Shut the fuck up and listen to me." you raise your eyebrows, but nod, agreeing. "We're good together. Really good. You say that no one in the world can satisfy all your needs, but he I'm. We can talk about everything, we can fuck all day, we can cuddle, we can watch movies. We're basically a couple, you just don't see that. And even you saying that I'm not the best one you ever had, I'm pretty sure that you're changing your mind." he lies down a little, giving a soft kiss on your pussy, making you shiver. "So here's my proposal: You're going to accept being my girlfriend, we're going to try this. I already tried much more for you." he raises his eyebrows and you chuckle "We can see if it works for you, if don't, then we break up without resentments. But I know this can work because I'm pretty sure no one of your fuck buddies can talk to you like I do and you can't fuck your friends like you do with me. Deal?"

"You know that you're insane, right?" you say and he shrug. "This has everything to go wrong."

"You're such a pessimistic." he giggles.

"OK, let's get a boring exclusive heterosexual relationship." you rolls your eyes.

"We're talking about us. Together. It could never be boring." he says smiling, making you laugh.