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#like again i’m sorry but it rlly isn’t ur art if u just type into a prompt box for it
autistic-katara · 4 months
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tell my we i just got a strangely pro-ai blog on my dash-
#the post itself wasn’t pro-ai but i checked their blog and jesus christ#im sorry but typing words into a prompt box does not make u a writer/artist#by that logic if i had actually written that zukka prompt my dear mutual gave me he would actually have been the writer not me#bcz he sent the idea in my dms#which uhhh no the pnly thing u get from writing a prompt for someone/something is being the idea maker#u might get credited in the notes of the fic as the inspiration or smthn but ur not the cowriter#and yes copywriter laws are flawed and hurt fic writers but the concept of them in general yk is kinda necessary#considering what used to happen before them (yk blatant content theft of wild precautions weren’t taken)#like i’m not an expert in copyright but having it absolutely makes sense#there’s a difference between someone seeing ur work and being inspired to write smthn abt it#and actually taking parts of it and claiming it as ur own#especially considering it takes NO WORK TO “MAKE” AI STUFF#like again i’m sorry but it rlly isn’t ur art if u just type into a prompt box for it#and sure ppl LOVE to bring up disabled ppl to claim that it’s “helping us” but stfu#as a disabled person who’s disabilities make it hard to draw/write sometimes shut up and stop using us as an excuse to steal content#i could open up chat gpt or whatever and type in prompts all day and put out a hundred fics every week if i wanted to#but they wouldn’t be mine#u can call urself a creative if u don’t actually do the creative process#like is it hard? yeah but that’s part of writing/art for everyone#it’s hard and practicing WILL make u better at it even if ur disabled#there are tools out there to help u make ur own art/stories that don’t require theft#and yeah it can be frustrating when u can’t write/draw bcz ur brain/body says lol no :) but the solution to that has never been “get#something else to write it for me and then claim it’s my own :)” or whatever#look if u wanna use ai to get a reference pose or smthn go for it#no stealing there and references can be hard to find#but if ur just typing a couple sentences into a prompt box ur not an artist and that isnt ur art#and if its a bot thats been fed nonconsenting artists’ work to spit out then yeahh its stealing i’m sorry#and stop using disabled ppl as an excuse for lazy content theft bcz i know 90% of u r abled or at best have a disability that doesn’t affec#ur ability to create art in the slightest#idk kinda went on a rant here lol
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mcatra · 4 years
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Catra works at Burger King pt 3
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catradora in ther modern party clothes!
AO3
pt1/2
Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem. 
Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up. 
Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora. 
Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message. 
Adora: 
Wyd? 
Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal. 
Catra: 
Studying. 
Adora: 
So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :) 
Adora: 
I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪
Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout. 
Adora: 
[image.attachment]
Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly.  What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile? After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily. 
Catra: 
[image.attachment] 🖕 She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning. 
Ping. 
Adora: 
wow Ur rlly hot  Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell? 
Adora: 
Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone. 
Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard. 
Catra: 
Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo. 
Adora: 
I really didn't mean to 🥺
Adora: 
I mean 
Adora: 
Glimmer didn't mean to  God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications. 
>Adora liked your photo
>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo
It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was a mistake. 
---- 
As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried. 
It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together. 
Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did. 
They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds. 
Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s. 
Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever. 
Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors. 
Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’
‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has  the  number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook. 
'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment. 
'What about you?' 
'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.' 
'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.' 
'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms. 
'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!' 
'Gross, who'd want to be  your  roommate?' 
'You  would.' 
'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.' 
'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.' 
They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it. 
With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask. 
Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.
She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that. 
-- 
Adora:
Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?
You  , Catra thinks, like a huge sap. 
Catra:
My sanity back. 
Adora: 
Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!  
Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in. 
Catra: 
lol calm down 
Adora: 
Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉
Catra: 
yes fine since you won't shut up about it 
Adora: 
AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS 
DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333 
💗💖💖😻
The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm. 
She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot. 
---
It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride. 
‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside. 
What the heck, did she do something wrong?  It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her. 
 Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.
‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes. 
Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath. 
‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’
‘What…?’ 
Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed. 
Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’
Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint. 
‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’
Catra just nods. 
She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.
The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’ 
Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do? 
‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’ 
‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.' 
'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!' 
The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house. 
The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go. 
Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water. 
That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that  a helicopter pad?! 
It was incredible, she had only seen this kind of luxury in the movies. So Glimmer was rich , rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King. 
Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression as the attendants let them in, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room. 
Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags. 
Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too. 
Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head. 
She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings. 
She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom. 
‘Catra you look incredible !’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones. 
Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’ 
 Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.
‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well. 
‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’ 
Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them. 
'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips. 
Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs. 
After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim. 
Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table. They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra. 
'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult.  They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition. 
 After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them. 
Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her. 
When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment. 
Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side. 
A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks. 
'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.' 
Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid. 
‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses. 
‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test. 
Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering. 
Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around. 
‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table. ‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms. 
‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours. 
‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing. 
‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra. 
‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies. 
‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table. 
Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!' 
‘Byee Catra!’
‘Happy birthday!!’
Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her. 
'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch. 
Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about  that  anymore. Got laid off.' 
Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?' 
'Say, I never got to give you  your  birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk. 
'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.' 
Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.
'C-Catra, I…' 
Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss. 
'Catra, what are you doing-' 
Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder. 
'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!' 
'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork. 
'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking. 
'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-
'Catra stop!'  Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening  slap . 
Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately. 
Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’
Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.' 
She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick. Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’
She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers.  ‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool. 
The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water. 
‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry. 
Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.
Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up. 
Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa.  Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal. 
Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel. 
Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.
It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had. 
 --
The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache. 
Unfortunately she was  not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night. 
She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.
Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now. 
Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up. 
As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a  ding  and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer. 
‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice. 
‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural. 
‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’
Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’
Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for  breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora  still  not up yet?’ 
As much as Catra wanted to scream  get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’
‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’
Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had. 
‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’ 
‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object. 
‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door. 
Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.  
 ------
The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least. 
They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra. 
She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying. 
Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter.  I'm worried about you,  she says.  I'm fine , Catra always responds. 
The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again. 
Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember. 
The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened. 
Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night. 
Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear. 
Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. In her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later. 
Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora. 
Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.
She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall. 
Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.' 
'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.
'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.' 
Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again. 
'What happened between you two?’ 
‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall. 
--
 Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats. 
Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd. 
Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have. 
‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects. Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’ 
They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors. 
Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat. 
‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card. 
‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’
Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand. 
Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity. 
Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity. 
She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start. 
The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.  
'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her. 
'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'
'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.
'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'
Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’ 
She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only  you  decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?' 
‘Catra, what are you...' 
'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.' 
'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.  
Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’ 
‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.
‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note.  Trust Adora to put up a fight. 
Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’
‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away. 
Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!' 
This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid. 
‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now. 
‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger. 
Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip. 
There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips. 
Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure. 
She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion. ‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’
 Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’
Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'
‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!' 
Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’ 
She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car. 
Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go. 
---
 By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.
 Adora: 
Please, can we talk? Let me fix this
A pop up appears over the screen. 
Message Not Sent
This person isn't receiving messages at this time. 
Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys. 
She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place. 
'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied. 
All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there. 
A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food. 
     catra working at BK fanart: 
https://twitter.com/huetrooper/status/1265188930741080064
https://twitter.com/quackelroys/status/1271199987540668416?s=20
https://mcatra.tumblr.com/post/620493235561824256/your-catra-works-at-burger-king-fic-is-great-you
 pt1, pt 2
Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem. 
Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up. 
Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora. 
Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message. 
Adora: 
Wyd? 
Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal. 
Catra: 
Studying. 
Adora: 
So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :) 
Adora: 
I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪
Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout. 
Adora: 
[image.attachment]
Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly. 
What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile? 
After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily. 
Catra: 
[image.attachment] 🖕
She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning. 
Ping. 
Adora: 
wow Ur rlly hot 
Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell? 
Adora: 
Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone. 
Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard. 
Catra: 
Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo. 
Adora: 
I really didn't mean to 🥺
Adora: 
I mean 
Adora: 
Glimmer didn't mean to 
God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications. 
>Adora liked your photo
>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo
It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was  a mistake. 
---- 
As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried. 
It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together. 
Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did. 
They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds. 
Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s. 
Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever. 
Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors. 
Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’
‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has the number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook. 
'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment. 
'What about you?' 
'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.' 
'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.' 
'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms. 
'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!' 
'Gross, who'd want to be your roommate?' 
'You would.' 
'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.' 
'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.' 
They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it. 
With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask. 
Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.
She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that. 
-- 
Adora:
Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?
You, Catra thinks, like a huge sap. 
Catra:
My sanity back. 
Adora: 
Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!  
Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in. 
Catra: 
lol calm down 
Adora: 
Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉
Catra: 
yes fine since you won't shut up about it 
Adora: 
AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS 
DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333 
💗💖💖😻
The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm. 
She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot. 
---
It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride. 
‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside. 
What the heck, did she do something wrong? It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her. 
Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.
‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes. 
Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath. 
‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’
‘What…’ 
Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed. 
Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’
Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint. 
‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’
Catra just nods. 
She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.
The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’ 
Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do? 
‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’ 
‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.' 
'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!' 
The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house. 
The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go. 
Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water. 
That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that a helicopter pad?! 
It was incredible, Catra could only walk in a daze with her jaw dropped on their polished marble floors. So Glimmer was rich, rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King. 
Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room. 
Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags. 
Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too. 
Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head. 
She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings. 
She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom. 
‘Catra you look incredible!’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones. 
Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’ 
Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.
‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well.
‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’ 
Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them. 
'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips. 
Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs. 
After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim. 
Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table.
They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra. 
'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult. 
They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition. 
After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them. 
Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her. 
When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment. 
Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side. 
A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks. 
'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.' 
Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid. 
‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses. 
‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test. 
Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering. 
Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around. 
‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table.
‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms. 
‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours. 
‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing. 
‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra. 
‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies. 
‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table. 
Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!' 
‘Byee Catra!’
‘Happy birthday!!’
Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her. 
'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch. 
Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about that anymore. Got laid off.' 
Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?' 
'Say, I never got to give you your birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk. 
'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.' 
Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.
'C-Catra, I…' 
Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss. 
'Catra, what are you doing-' 
Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder. 
'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!' 
'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork. 
'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking. 
 'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-
'Catra stop!' Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening slap. 
Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately. 
Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’
Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.' 
She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick. 
Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’
She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers. 
‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool. 
The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water. 
‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry. 
Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.
Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up. 
Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa. 
Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal. 
Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel. 
Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.
It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had. 
--
The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache. 
Unfortunately she was not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night. 
She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.
Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now. 
Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up. 
As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a ding and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer. 
‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice. 
‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural. 
‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’
Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’
Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for  breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora still not up yet?’ 
As much as Catra wanted to scream get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’
‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’
Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had. 
‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’ 
‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object. 
‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door. 
Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.  
------
The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least. 
They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra. 
She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying. 
Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter. I'm worried about you, she says. I'm fine, Catra always responds. 
The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again. 
Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember. 
The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened. 
Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night. 
Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear. 
Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. She tries to use the Mcdonald's wifi but soon just ordering a water cup wasn't enough for the workers to let her stay. It was a fruitless effort anyway, in her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later. 
Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora. 
Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.
She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall. 
Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.' 
'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.
'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.' 
Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again. 
'What happened between you two?’ 
‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall. 
--
Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats. 
Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd. 
Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have. 
‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects.
Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’ 
They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors. 
Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat. 
‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card. 
‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’
Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand. 
Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity. 
Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity. 
She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start. 
The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.  
'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her. 
'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'
'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.
'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'
Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’ 
She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only you decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?' 
‘Catra, what are you...' 
'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.' 
'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.  
Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’ 
‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.
‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note. Trust Adora to put up a fight. 
Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’
‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away. 
Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!' 
This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid. 
‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now. 
‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger. 
Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip. 
There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips. 
Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure. 
She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion.
‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’
Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’
Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'
‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!' 
Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’ 
She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car. 
Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go. 
---
By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.
Adora: 
Please, can we talk? Let me fix this
A pop up appears over the screen. 
Message Not Sent
This person isn't receiving messages at this time. 
Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys. 
She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place. 
'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied. 
All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there. 
A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food. 
122 notes · View notes
jungshookz · 5 years
Note
I rlly love librarian joon so much that ive been rereading it and i was wondering,,, maybe a drabble on how y/n gets a tutor for her philosophy (or any subject) class and they have lessons in the library and joon gets jealous esp when y/n tutor is obvioUSLY flirting with y/n but shes an oblivious walnut (we still love u y/n) and he gets kind of insecure that y/n doesnt ask him for help instead and constantly ditches him for tutoring lessons and overall just seems to have more fun with her tutor
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→ pairing: kim namjoon x reader
→ genre: librarian!joonie is back!!!!, let me introduce you all to arthoe!taehyung, oblivious!y/n, fluffy times + lil bit of angst + tinY bit of smut u know how it be 
→ wordcount: 3.4k
(gif isn’t mine!)
namjoon usually doesn’t take things personally because he’s groWn and he has better things to fret over
but sweetie
he is FREttING over this very very hard
you decided to take up art history this semester and you didn’t want to sLip so you hooked yourself up with a tutor
you just came out of nowhere and you were like hey by the way i can’t hang out after class today because i have my first tutoring lesson and namjoon was like ?? do you have another philosophy exam or something
“nah i don’t have any more exams i’m just taking art history this year and i want to be ahead of everything and stuff”
wha-
namjoon thinks that he makes a pretty good tutor himself and he would totaLLY memorise 100 books worth of information so that he could teach you because that’S how much he cares for u
but of course he doesn’t think much of it because yeah it makes sense
art history isn’t namjoon’s specialty so obviously you would reach out to someone who’s actually learning the stuff
okay
whatever it’s fine
“okay! are we still going for dinner?”
“i’ll let you know but honestly probably not?? i’m behind on coursework and taehyung’s going to go over everything that i missed which is a lot!!! i’ll text you later dweeb” namjoon doesn’t even get the chance to respond before you’re leaning down to give him a quick peck and then you just yeEt out of the library
….taehyung
your tutor is a guy
which is fine!!!! totally fine
he’s just curious as to who this taehyung guy is
he’s not like a super jealous freak of a boyfriend it’s all good
namjoon purses his lips before shrugging to himself and bringing his attention back to his laptop
about 20 minutes pass and namjoon’s phone buzzes on the desk
‘we’re still on for dinner!!! i’ll meet u outside the library at 6’
hAh
see
nothing to worry about
hey
so
remember the thing namjoon said about having nothing to worry about
now he has something to worry about
it’s nearing 6:45 and you still haven’t shown up
namjoon sighs and leans against the front door
he could go back into the library but he already set up the alarm system for the night and he locked everything up
god it’s cold tonight
he shudders and wraps his coat tighter around himself
where are you??
and right on cue namjoon’s phone starts ringing in his pocket
he scrambles to unlock his phone and he brings it up to his ear
“y/n?”
“joon?? i’m so sorry!!!! i completely forgot about dinner i didn’t even know how quickly time was going by!!!”
“it’s fine, don’t worry about it!” namjoon clears his throat and musters a smile “i’ll see you tomorrow?”
it’s good that you’re taking your studying more seriously
yeah it kinda sucked standing out here in the cold for literally 45 minutes but u know what it’s greAt that you’re so passionate about learning new things now
“uh-huh! oh, i have to tell you aLL about taehyung he’s hilarious and he taught me so sO much and i didn’t even know studying could be this much fun! anyways i promise i’ll make it up to you-”
uh
UM
U M
what’s thAT supposed to mean
was studying philosophy with namjoon not fun???? he made like a shiTload of fancy flashcards and you seemed like you were having fun!!!
namjoon presses his lips together to keep himself from saying anything snarky even tho he really wants to
“i’m sorRy i’m sorry i’m soRRy i’M sorrryyyyryryryryyrryyr-“ you whine and slump in namjoon’s arms when he opens them up to give you a hug when you come in the next day
“it’s hard to hug you when you’re all floppy and boneless.” namjoon chuckles and you stand up straight before wrapping your arms around his neck loosely
you stand up on your tip-toes to give him a peck or two (or three or four or five) and namjoon hums contently
you should ditch him more often if it gets u to act like this (just kidding he didn’t like being ditched it was awful)
he has you sandwiched in between the book cart and himself and you’re not usually a PDA kinda gal but you can work with this
“do you forgive me?” you adjust his tie and namjoon leans down a little to sneak another kiss from you
“i haven’t decided yet.” namjoon jokes and you let out a small whine
“maybe if you take a quick break.,.. we can go into the backroom..,.,., i’m sure i can find other ways for you to forgive me.,,” you whistle and trace your finger along his chest and namjoon scoffs playfully before stepping aside and letting you out of the bookcart-namjoon sandwich
“i forgive you, don’t worry about it, hm? i’m sure it won’t happen again.”
“yes, you’re right! it won’t happen again. …and i wasn’t kidding about the backroom thing.”
“tempting, but… someone was being a little too loud in there last time.” namjoon pokes your nose before sliding a couple books onto the shelf and wheeling the cart back to the front counter
meanwhile you’re trailing behind him the whole time
“touché. you’re coming over to my place this weekend, right?”
“correct” namjoon opens the little gate to let himself behind the counter
“good!!! i made sure to fluff up your pillows anD i put the shirts and boxers that u left last time in the drawer”
“oh, i get my own drawer already?” namjoon teases and although you roll your eyes your cheeks are starting to heat up
ya he has his own drawer now so what it’s not a biG deal okAY
“ooh, by the way - do you think i can study here today?” you point over to the lounge area where your backpack is thrown haphazardly over the couch and your notes and pens are scattered everywhere
..classic
“the classroom that we usually go to is booked up.” you lean over the counter and give namjoon your cutest pout “and i already told taehyung to meet me here”
ah
right
taehyung
he still doesn’t know who the guy is
whoever he is he made you ditch dinner but namjoon isn’t biTTer or anyThing
namjoon rolls his eyes playfully “don’t look at me like that, you. of course you can study here! just make sure to keep it quiet and stuff since this is the library, after all”
hey
spoiler alert: namjoon agreeing to let you study here was a big fat MISTAKE
why do bad things happen to good people
in this case the bad thing is kim taehyung and the good person is namjoon in case that wasn’t already painfully obvious
namjoon resists the urge to roll his eyes when he hears another giggle slip past your lips
yes
he loves the sound of your giggle
but noT when it’s caused by kim taehyung
namjoon peeks over the top of his book to look over at you two again
what even is he wearing
are those shoes from guCCI
he has dad-looking square framed silver glasses which look a loT lamer than namjoon’s thick-framed glasses in his humble opinion
and he’s wearing a dangly earring but it’s only in one ear like if ur going to wear dangly earrings u might as well wear them in both ears
and he’s wearing a beret???? this is the LIBRARY this is not PARIS
cE N’EST PAS PARIS
taehyung leans forward and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before grabbing the leg of your chair and pulling you closer as you continue to babble on about something
meanwhile namjoon’s just sitting behind the counter gawking at the two of you
what is happening????? what the hell is this??????
“now, lift your hand.” taehyung’s baritone voice is suddenly all namjoon can focus on
jesus
his voice is like.,.,. smooth dark chocolate.,.,,. warm honey.,,.,.,.smokey,.., bbq sauce?,.., the point is namjoon sounds like a frog going through puberty compared to taehyung
namjoon is very obviously staring at the two of you now he’s not even going to try and hide it
“-the elegantly, loosely held hands from da vinci probably represent the most exquisite drawing of hands in the history of art…” taehyung hums and presses his hands against yours before loosely intertwining his fingers with yours “every detail of the long fingers and the beautifully modulated shading produces a convincing effect of reality so that one can almost know the person from her hands…” he pulls away and traces his finger from the tip of your middle finger down to your wrist
hausdhKJSHFJKHDS
is that allOWED ??? is that alloweD????????
namjoon is noT going to let this.,.., this.,,.,., ART HOE steaL you from him
and that’s when the lightbulb appears above his head
art history can’t be thAt hard to master…right?  
long ass story short: namjoon spends the entire night going through your syllabus and making sure he’s brushed up on all of the topics so that when he teaches you he’ll have somewhat of an idea of what he’s talking about
he took out a bunch of history books and lugged them all home and he has sticky notes everywhere and his brand new notebook is full of information relating to art history
he pauses and stops typing and leans back against his chair
what the hell is he doing
he’s seriously going to sit here the whole night doing research on a topic he’s never studied before because HE wants to be the one to teach you instead of stupid taehyung
….the answer is yes
namjoon adjusts his glasses and begins typing out his notes again
“the elegantly loosely held hands represent the most exquisite drawing of hands in the history of art…” namjoon mocks taehyung when he gets to a part in the textbook where it talks about da vinci “i bet he has some kind of hand fetish.,,. that beret-wearing weirdo”
maybe he’s being a little too harsh
namjoon is not a mean-spirited person
he’s just not used to.,..,,. relationship.,,., things..,., and the..,., the jealousy thing
he thinks that it’s stupid that he’s jealous but he can’t help it okay
he can be insecure sometimes and right now he’s kinda insecure because taehyung is smooth and handsome and charming and namjoon is weird and awkward and dorky but like in an endearing way??? kinda?? and-
u know what he’s not going to worry about this he doesn’t have time to worry he needs to write out these notes
the point is  
these are unfamiliar waters
he lets out a small breath
okay
nice and calm
everything’s good
EVERYTHING IS NOT GOOD
EVERYTHING IS BAD AND EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE AND THIS LIBRARY’S LOCATION IS IN HELL
“aw, joonie, that’s awfully sweet of you, but you didn’t have to! taehyung has it covered.” you coo and reach up to cup namjoon’s cheek “okay i’m going to go back to-“
“wait- you don’t even wanna try studying with me?? l-look, i made flash cards and everything!” namjoon sets the textbooks down on the counter with a thud before reaching over and grabbing the whole stack of multicoloured flash cards
“well, maybe we can study together… later! you really didn’t have to do all of this for me…” you trail off and furrow your brows
namjoon did a LOT of work like he filled out an entire notebook with notes and this is a thicc stacc of flashcards
“plus you need to dust the bookshelves, don’t you? why don’t you go ahead and do that?”
“y/n, you coming back?” you look over your shoulder and taheyung’s looking over at you worryingly and you wave him off
“yes! hold on, i’m just-“
“c’mon come sit let taehyung take a pee break or something let’s do some study- oH OH u know what i actually have a surprise for you!” namjoon rifles through his papers before sliding a brochure over to you “there’s an art exhibition in town this weekend! i can take you!!!!”
namjoon’s not aware of this but you’re not really paying attention to him because you’re looking through all the notes he wrote out for you
this is a loT of work how long did he take to write all of this down
you look up at him when you realise he’s stopped talking “sorry what was tha-“
“y/n! c’mon, i was just getting to the good part of the book.” taehyung suddenly appears behind you and wraps his fingers around your wrist
“oh, yep! okay, uh-“ before you know it taheyung’s dragging you back to the couch and you shoot namjoon a sheepish smile
it’s officially been three weeks since taehyung became your tutor
and these have been the worst three weeks of namjoon’s life
after the whole desperation act everything’s just seemed to get worse and worse and woRSE
suddenly taehyung is sucking up all of your time
you can’t grab a bite to eat with joon because taehyung wants you to watch a documentary to learn more about the mona lisa
you can’t hang out with joon in general because you’re spending every free minute studying your ass off
and all of these things have a common link
KIM TAEHYUNG
oOH god namjoon has never actively hated a person before but there’s always time to try new things!!!!!!!! HE HATES HIM
but this
this is just the iCIng on the cake!!! the cherry on the sundae!!!!!! the KICK IN THE ASS
“where are you going?? i thought we were finally going to grab some dinner together.” namjoon raises a brow when he notices you beginning to pack up early
“tae’s taking me to some art exhibition because he says it’s better for me to see the pieces up close rather than through the textbook” you hum as you start packing up your things “but don’t worry! i’ll make it back in time for dinner!!!”
namjoon’s eye twitches
u
you’re going to
you’re going to the art exhibition…. with taehyung……….. but u didn’t want to go when he suggested it.,,.,,.,.
“oh. i see.” namjoon slaps his book shut and clears his throat
you look over your shoulder before turning around
“…something’s wrong.”
see you have a thick skull but not to the point where you can’t see that something is obviously wrong
namjoon can practically hear the gears click-click-clicking away in your head as you stare at him blankly while trying to figure out what it is….,,. you did wrong,.,.,. ??
namjoon looks up at you and raises a brow “nothing’s wrong.” he shrugs casually before checking the time on his watch “you should probably head out to meet tae soon.” he murmurs a liTTLe more aggressively than he would’ve liked to murmur and brings his attention to his laptop
click-click-click-click-click
oh
OH
OH SHIT
oOOOohHHhHHH
“aw, joonie… i’m sorry!!!!” you pout and bend down and wrap your arms around him from behind as best as you can
“have i not been giving my doting boyfriend enough attention?” you tease and pop a kiss on his cheek before propping your chin up on his shoulder and namjoon lets out a sigh and stops typing
“cut it out, y/n” namjoon mutters and shrugs you off and you let out a breath
damn
he really mad
“namjoon, c’mon. i’m sorry, alright? i should’ve- you know how thick i am sometimes i thought tae was just being friendly because he seems like a naturally touchy person!”
“no one that friendly ever has friendly intentions.” namjoon turns around in his wheely chair to face you and raises a brow  
“i’m sorry, joon. really, i am.” you plop yourself down on his lap and wrap an arm around his neck before leaning down to rest your head on his shoulder
his arm slinks around your waist and he rests his other hand over your lap
“no, you don’t have anything to apologise for… it’s just me and my dumb insecurities.” namjoon coughs and you pop up immediately
“what insecurities?”
“i… i dunno… taehyung is… well, he’s not ugLy, that’s for sure.,., and he seems like he’s pretty well-off with his gucci shoes and his fancy berets.,.,. aNd he seems super smart like i heard him speaking fluent french and yA i can speak french too but not thAt well and whenever i hear him explaining things to you he’s super well spoken and it makes me feel like maybe i… maybe i’m not good enough for-“
“Don’T finish that sentence. don’t!!!” you gawk and furrow your brows
how could he even think that???
“you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about. i don’t like taehyung like that, i like you. i don’t care about his gucci shoes and his french and his fancy terminology.,.,, i only like him because he makes tutoring really fun! i like you, okay? you with your dorky glasses and your grandpa cardigans and your big, big… brain!” you beam at joon and he scoffs and rolls his eyes “if it makes you feel any better i think his cologne is waY too overpowering.”
“huh. that oddly does make me feel a little better.” he hums and you grin before leaning in to give him a kiss
you tilt your head to deepen the kiss and your hand slides up namjoon’s chest to fiddle with his tie
namjoon nudges you off his lap and you’re confused for a split second but then he’s pulling you down so that you can straddle him
“how much time do you have before you have to meet taehyung?” namjoon asks innocently although his hands are not so innocently sliding down your back and getting dangerously close to underneath your skirt
he buries his face into the crook of your neck and starts planting warm kisses on your skin  
you glance at his laptop over his shoulder “mm, 20 minutes?” you breathe out and let out a gasp when namjoon bucks his hips slightly
“is the,, uh.,, the act of forgiveness that you owed me for ditching me last week.,.,., is that still a thing?” namjoon pulls away and you nod quickly because YES it is still very much a thing “…u wanna… help me restock some books in the backroom before you leave?”
…u don’t even need to answer that question
taehyung enters the library to see that nobody is at the front desk
you were supposed to meet him by the math building but u didn’t show up.,., so naturally he decided to come to the library
he raises a brow and looks around the empty library
where-
“oh my god, namjoon!”
tae’s eyes pop out of their sockets when the silence is suddenly broken by a very loud moan
is that
is that u
oh my god
“yes, please, oh my god yes-“
…he’s just going to wait outside for you
help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)
masterlist
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undeadpsycho13 · 7 years
Text
a cup of coffee to warm my icy heart
AHHHHHH GUYS LOOK IM SO SO SO SORRRRRRYYYYYY I SWEAR I HAD THIS FINISHED LAST FRIDAY I JUST FORGOT IM SORRRRYYYYY
i know this chapter is one week overdue, and i hope u guys can forgive me.  i swear i had it done ages ago, just forgot to post it. also, its more than twice the length of the first chapter, if that makes up for anything.
thank you to @puzzle-of-life-reason-for-death​ for the reminder, this chapter is for you!! :D
btw, some chinese swear words are involved, and the translations are at the bottom. if u dont like them, rlly sorry, i just thought it might be fun, cause you know, both baits and an speak chinese canon, and so do i, so why not?
tell me if u dont like it, i wont include them in the next chapter
otherwise, enjoy~~ ^_~
CHAPTER 2: JUST A TINY PART OF ME (FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU)
The second time was not so much of an accident, but oh well, not-accidents happen all the time, don’t they?
The annoying door ringing speaker thing once again announced Baitsakhan’s appearance at Endgame.  A very pissed Baitsakhan.  A very pissed Baitsakhan who had not had coffee in the last three days and was currently dying of lack of caffeine in his bloodstream.  Red Bull was a poor substitute; he needed freaking coffee.  The darker, the better.  The scene from last week flashed back in his face, and Baitsakhan cringed a little on the inside.  He was not willing to make a fool of himself again.
He had surprised both his sister and An by staying away from coffee for four days, and then couldn’t help but get some coffee from The Starbucks.  At least he had figured out the barista’s name.  Hilal Ibn Isa Al-Salt.  He was awful proud of his memory; who on earth had long-ass names like that?  For once, he was appreciative of his unique, surname-less name.
But the Al-Salt guy’s infuriating niceness had gotten the better of him, and he had once again scared Baitsakhan away with a honey-bee-pesticide-banning petition.  Who cares whether bees died?  Screw them.
The absence of a sufficient amount of caffeine, however, was not his only problem.  The Phone Guy (as baitsakhan had deemed him) had texted him back, albeit the dire-sounding warning, with a outrageous reply of, omg so sry got the wrong # D: rlly rlly sry :(.  And then, of all the emojis he could have typed, he chose the freaking <3.
Needless to say, Baitsakhan was pissed.  No one, no one the whole damn world, was allowed to send him a heart emoji (save Sarangerel and An’s incredibly sweet girlfriend Chiyoko, but that as different), and yet this complete stranger had taken it upon himself (or herself, he added as an afterthought) to send him one.  This was an outrage.  He would not dignify this text with an answer, he thought to himself.
So, naturally, he just had to go to that nice coffee shop to calm himself down.  Just had to.  And it had nothing to do with wanting to the hot barista.  Absolutely nothing.
Seating himself at the table closest to the window, he took out his phone, absent-mindedly scrolling through his playlist.  
An indefinite amount of time passes.  
And then, out of the blue, a hand suddenly tapped him shoulder, and, startled, he whipped around, teeth bared, hands out in front of him in an offensive position, ready to gouge the offenders eyeballs out ––
The cute barista (Maccabee, his mind supplied) is, apparently, said offender.
Great, there’s another person who thinks he’s a psychopathic weirdo (not that he isn’t, but still).
But instead of freaking out at his overreaction, the guy laughs.  Who even does that after a near-death experience? (Okay, maybe he’s exaggerating, but there’s no denying this guy was weird.)
“Chill dude, just here to take your order.”
Met with Baitsakhan’s blank look, the guy raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.
“Look, I love having you here, but if you don’t order something, like, right now, I’m going to have to kick you out, ’cause I just got this job and I really don’t want to lose it.  You know, you’ve been sitting here for like half an hour doing nothing.”
Holy hell, he’s been wasting thirty minutes doing nothing?!  Scrambling up (in a very dignified way, of course), he says, in a voice he hopes is impassive,
“Sure, I’ll have an espresso or something, like that thing you made last time.  If you don’t remember, I’ll just have the thing with the most caffeine.”
Maccabee (again, this is all his brain’s doing, there is no way Baitsakhan would consciously remember people’s names, even super hot guys) laughs at that, shaking his head.
“Of course I remember, who would be able to forget the order of the cutest guy we’ve had here since I started working?”
The blond is nice to enough not show any visible reaction to the way Baitsakhan’s face burns a deep red color at his comment, and instead smiles a bit lopsidedly and turns to go.  Suddenly he pauses, turns back to face the noirette, and before Baitsakhan can do anything the older teen quickly winks, so fast it was almost missed, and continues on towards the counter.
For the next five minutes, until Maccabee comes back with his drink, Baitsakhan just sits there, eyes wide, mouth gaping like a fish, shell-shocked.  Even then all he can do is close his mouth and nod his head politely.
A buzz from his phone catches his attention, finally rousing him from his stupor.  For a moment, he thinks that it’s the Phone Guy again, but when he see’s "Asian Hacker Lovebird”, he smiles to himself and swipes the screen sideways to reply.  Though he would never admit it, An crashing into his life nine years ago really made his life better a thousand-fold.  He remembered first arriving in North America, a bitter, parent-less seven year-old, small for his age but savage and aggressive, despite the language barrier.  Oh, he learned English in his due time, but back then, really all he could say were a few basic swear words that immediately earned him half a dozen enemies.  The one person he gravitated towards was a kid in the year above him, a Chinese boy who was all glares and rule-breaking and rebellious behaviour.  Looking at his slim frame and lanky form, people would be led to falsely believe that An was all bark and no bite.  
They couldn’t be more wrong.  
Professional in at least ten different types of martial arts and an expert at (illegal) poisons and (illegal) hacking, An was definitely a formidable opponent.  Baitsakhan’s type of guy.  They were the perfect pair, both cold and haughty at school and in public.  No one needed to know they played video games together well into the night and had weird movie marathons on a regular basis and smiled until their face’s hurt and laughed until they couldn’t breathe.
He was a good friend, cynical, with a dry sense of humor.
Right now, however, not so much.
asian hacker lovebird: where r u????
asian hacker lovebird: baits
asian hacker lovebird: answer me child
asian hacker lovebird: ANSWER ME CHILD
im-not-smol: Piss off.
asian hacker lovebird: THE CHILD IS HERE
im-not-smol: Don’t call me a child.
asian hacker lovebird: i repeat where r u
im-not-smol: A cafe.
asian hacker lovebird: specify
im-not-smol: Endgame Cafe.
asian hacker lovebird: U MEAN!!!
asian hacker lovebird: LIKE DA 1 W/ DA HOT BARISTA U RANT ABT 24/7??!!!!
asian hacker lovebird: OMG STAY RIGHT THERE DONT MOVE IMMA JOIN U
im-not-smol: Don’t you dare.
im-not-smol: 傻逼
asian hacker lovebird: oh no u did NOT just call me that
asian hacker lovebird: now i need 2 come 2 beat u up
asian hacker lovebird: it is a MUST
asian hacker lovebird: see ya in 2 min
im-not-smol: 王八蛋
asian hacker lovebird: SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP IMMA COME OVER RN 2 BEAT UP UR STUPID ASS
im-not-smol: You can try. ;)
asian hacker lovebird: challenge accepted ur goin DOWN boi
im-not-smol: We’ll see about that.
asian hacker lovebird: ur “impecable grammar” rlly pisses me off
asian hacker lovebird: *imppecable
asian hacker lovebird: ugh
asian hacker lovebird: smthn watevr i kant spel
im-not-smol: It’s not my fault you turned autocorrect off.
asian hacker lovebird: when will u eva learn 2 txt like a normal person???
asian hacker lovebird: 好落后
asian hacker lovebird: just sayin
im-not-smol: Shut up.
asian hacker lovebird: look up
Baitsakhan raised his head, only to be met with the sight of a very distorted face right next to his head.  And of course he didn’t scream Jesus Christ and shriek like a little girl, what are you talking about?
The weird twisted face outside morphed into a wicked grin and the doorbell rang once again as another customer entered, tears of mirth still apparent in his eyes.  This new comer looked quite out of the ordinary, tall and dressed in nothing but black and silver, a face that was all harsh angles and sharp corners and pale skin.  A contrasting red teardrop tattoo stood out, leaking out of his right eye, and his strange hair style earned him quite a few looks from the other customers.
“You’re so stupid.”
“Shut up, you will speak of this to no one, understand?”
Most people would quake with fear at the aggressive tone, but An just rolls his eyes,
“Normal people don’t speak like ancient three-hundred year-old vampires, Baits.”
He drops down on the chair opposing Baitsakhan’s, leaning back and crossing his legs, stretching them out in front of him, a picture of complete ease.
“So, where’s the hot shot?” An says in a mock-whisper tone.  Baitsakhan glares at him before subtly motioning towards the counter, where Maccabee is leaning against it, his phone one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.  For a moment, An just stares, a small smirk on his face (not that the smirk ever disappears), whistling appreciatively.  And then, out of the blue, he shouts, so loud that he attracts probably the attention of everyone else in the mile radius,
“Hey there, aren’t employees not supposed to serve themselves?”
Startled, Maccabee looks up.  He sees An’s triumphant expression and Baitsakhan’s kill-me-now-please-just-shoot-me-and-save-me-from-the-torture one, and kind of gathers what happened.  A lazy smile slips onto his face.  He walks over, leisurely, still holding the half-finished drink.
“You’re right.  But… ”  He pauses for effect, and in that short amount of time An actually gets around to rolling his eyes again.  The boy really gets a lot of practice.
“I’m off duty.  Ais over there took over for me.”
He gestures at a red-headed girl who has somehow managed to escape their notice until then.  For a moment, a strange look flits across Baitsakhan’s face, but as quickly as it got materialises, it disappears.
An shrugs.
“Oh.  Good for you.”  He says awkwardly.
There’s an uncomfortable silence, like the type when someone ought to say something but nobody does, before Baitsakhan finally interjects,
“Thanks for the coffee, but I think my friend and I should get going.” Here he pointedly glares at An, who stares innocently at the ceiling.  
“How much is it again?”
Maccabee shrugs,
“Don’t worry about it, as long as you come again, it’s on the house.”
He winks suggestively.
Baitsakhan, of course, agrees.  After all, who could say no to a free cup of coffee, right?  And obviously, obviously it had no correlation to the fact that he actually wanted to come back to ogle the baristas.  Duh, no.
When he first visited the coffee shop, Baitsakhan never imagined he would meet someone like this who flirted blatantly and paid for his drinks.  When he first exited the coffee shop, he never thought he would come back again.  When he came back the second time, he never thought that this place would impact his previously non-existent love life.
Only when they are outside the door, Baitsakhan for the second time, An the first, and An is laughing at his lovestruck (Baitsakhan would deny this) expression that Baitsakhan realises that maybe, maybe a tiny part of him has fallen in love with Maccabee.
(Just a tiny part.)
CHAPTER INDEX (for your convenience)
1 | 2
so. how’d you guys like it?
here are the translations:
傻逼 = dumbass/idiot
王八蛋 = its like f    er (sry, i rlly dont like swearing in english in writing, i feel like ppl will track me down and yell at me)
好落后 = so behind (as in trends, like in the context of not caught up on the latest trends)
hope that cleared things up a bit, if not feel free to send me a quick message, and i’ll explain to you in detail.
anyways, any suggestions for the next chapter?? (i really need to change the texting usernames, any suggestions for the individual characters?? eventually all of the players are gonna get involved one way or another in the texting conversations)
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Submission about Dance
Urgent!! There will be some sort of dance rehearsal for the school event. I feel rlly okay for performing. I kinda enjoy it. But the thing is, the school has this mean scary adviser for the dance rehearsal. We would practice on stage but he makes comments harshly. for the better, they say. But, I can't help backing out. Plus, i feel really pressured. Plus, my physical stature (small) isn't really fit for this. This is my 1st time participating in such an event. Idk, i might quit. Ty!
Urgent!! time senstive! resending this again bc tomorrow will be stage rehearsal. This is my first time joining a dance. And, im okay w/ it. The thing is, we have this mean adviser who keeps harshly commenting on the participants(e.g. dance better! u shouldnt have joined if ure gonna be like that! etc). Its reallly making me pressured and scared. Im not really confident in my physical stature (small and kinda chubby). Idk, i might quit. Ty again! I hope u guys received my last ask!
Time sensitive(i guess). Just wanted to let you guys to know that i already quit the dance club. Idk why you guys didnt answer my ask when i sent it twice for the last few days. If u guys didnt believe some parts, im guessing it was the stage. Our school has this small stage. A really small one. They set it up every school event. It really hurts to quit something I really like doing. Thank you anyway.
Time sensitive ** (i guess) Im the anon that quit the dance club. I marked the asks urgent. I really needed advice that time. I just feel really sad right now. I hope im not a bother. Ty.
4 part submission_____________________________________________
 Hello love!
I’m sorry that we didn’t get to this submission as soon as we should have. I hope you can understand and forgive us. We are trying our best to get everyone but we have a lot of submissions daily and are trying to evenly proportion our answers to those who are still waiting and those who have urgents. We also have to attend to our own lives so we hope that everyone that sends their asks will be patient with us. Once again, we’re so sorry we were only able to answer to you after your dilemma.
First of all, I’m really sorry again that you quit the dance group. It takes not only a lot of confidence to just appear to the rehearsals and even more so to get up on that stage. I already admire you a lot because I would never even consider it despite it being my hobby. So some serious kudos to you.
I know that it’s hard to wrap your head around, but constructive criticism is the best type criticism. How you dance and how much you dance is something for you to enjoy and pursue no matter how many people are against it. You learn a lot about yourself through the guidance of others. If you are able to re-wire your thinking about how and why someone says something about your dancing, it’ll become a gift to you and something you can use to your advantage to improve instead of just being a weapon. Being a previous dancer myself, I know that it can be a hit to your confidence when you hear that you aren’t as good as you had previously thought, but that should push you to prove them wrong and be even better than even you expected. Remember, the only person who can beat you is yourself. Compete with yourself instead of others. There will always be a better dance come a day, but one thing they can never have is your dedication, your uniqueness and your will to keep going.
Coaches are always harsh, but they reason they do push you is really very simple. Think about it this way, if they are harsh on you, it means you have potential and they approve of you. If they don’t even bother to say anything to you, either it means they think your good for your level or they don’t think you’re worth the insight at all. Criticism from a professional is not because they don’t like you, but more like they actually like you. You will be able to recognize this later on when you go back to dancing or anything you do in life. Professionals will always put you down for good reasons, like reminding you of the importance of staying humble, being able to regain confidence despite hard times, and always overcoming and facing obstacles head on.
Build up your confidence until you feel ready to perform. If you are too uncomfortable with the thought of going to a dedicated dance group that has a harsh instructor, you can take classes so you can become closer with the professional. By dancing alone at first (try YouTube choreos and learn them yourself at home or in an empty studio) and eventually with friends, and even strangers when you rebuild your confidence. Try to remember why you love dance and rediscover your passions. If you love dance, then you’ll be able to face this obstacle and have the courage to overcome it.
Don’t be too disappointed with this missed out chance. There are always opportunities in the dance community, and since dance is internationally known, there is no such thing as not “being good enough” in the dance world. If you can move, you can dance, so don’t ever think you’re not good enough or worth it. If you love it, you will find plenty of chances to incorporate dance into your life and you will be warmly welcomed. Look for local bulletin boards, online forums and recreational clubs to join. Try to be open to any type of dance style and expand your horizons.
No such thing as only one type of dancer. There are skinny dancers, curvy dancers, male dancers, female dancers, tall dancers and short dancers. There are dancers of all shapes and sizes. Just because you don’t think you fit in a specific genre, you’re very wrong. You don’t have to be slender to be a ballerina, and you don’t have to have a specific attitude to excel in contemporary. Dancers come in all different types of body figures and sizes and that includes you. Don’t think that just because there’s a regularity in different types of dance that you have to fit in it. Dance is an internationally known form of art and is very accepting of people. In fact, many famous choreographers end up being completely different from their original chosen specific genre of dance.
If you truly love dance, you don’t need a club to do what you love. I suggest trying to find a more recreational group or form a group of your own, if the stage isn’t your thing then just learn dance for fun. It important to be able to learn dance in a safe environment where you are comfortable, criticism is great but if you are judged all the time you’ll be too afraid to dance and that would be worse. You could find a cheap-ish dance class too perhaps, and get some friends to join. All I’m trying to say is find a way to keep dancing, no matter what happens.
Good luck!
~Ella  ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
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