#especially considering it takes NO WORK TO “MAKE” AI STUFF

[autistic-katara]

tell my we i just got a strangely pro-ai blog on my dash-

[totheblood]

begging for rain. (three)

󠁐# THREE; the harder that it takes to undo

PAIRING: ex!ellie williams x nextdoorneighbor!reader

SUMMARY: moving to a new town can be tough, especially as you are trying to hold everything in your life together. after you meet ellie, your life completely changes, but for the better? well that's still up in the air

WARNINGS: mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x,

WORD COUNT: 4.6k

A/N : ok this was the longest chapter i've written to date so... please enjoy.... ONE AI AUDIOS IN THE FIC ! please please please like and reblog/reply/send asks, comments, the whole nine yards… it is so appreciated!

TWO YEARS AGO

It felt weird to be in Ellie’s house.

Ellie opened the door to a cozy living room with warm beige walls and wicker furniture that had been well-worn by time. An old acoustic guitar leaned against one wall and a record player sat atop an end table, surrounded by piles of vintage vinyl. The air was thick with the aroma of coffee and old books, creating a comforting ambiance. Family photos and posters dotted the walls, giving an insight into Ellie's life that made you feel like a intruder but also made you want to know more. 

"Nice place," you said, removing your shoes at the door.

"Thanks," Ellie smiled, leading you to the living room. "You can drop your stuff there. We'll study at the table."

You took a seat at the sturdy oak dining table and ran your fingers over its smooth surface before settling into it. Scattered papers littered the table, some lined with handwritten lyrics, others with doodles intertwined in colored ink. You opened up your English books and laid out your homework, feeling a sense of warmth emanating from the room. The aged furniture added an air of familiarity, like you were being invited into Ellie's private world. Ellie seemed to be working on physics homework, while you had an English essay on Shakespeare to tackle. The juxtaposition wasn't lost on you—Ellie with equations and you with Elizabethan English.

You both settled into your work, the atmosphere tinged with concentration. Occasionally, your eyes would drift towards Ellie, watching her brows furrow in thought or her lips move silently as she read through her notes. Each time, you'd catch yourself and refocus on your own work.

"So, how are you finding the essay?" she finally broke the silence.

"It's... okay, I guess. Mrs. Porter has a way of making Shakespeare sound like rocket science."

Ellie chuckled. "Ah, the age-old struggle. To be or not to be confused, that is the question."

You laughed, and for a moment, the tension of the day seemed to lift. "You're not so bad at this, you know," you said. "Maybe you should consider a career in stand-up."

"And give up my dream of becoming a rockstar physicist?" she feigned surprise. "Never."

You smiled at her enthusiasm. "A rockstar physicist, huh? That's a first."

"Well, what about you? Any grand plans?"

You hesitated, thinking about your dad for a moment. You blinked, looking down at the book in front of you before looking back up at Ellie.  "I'm not sure. I used to think I had it all figured out, but now... everything's so uncertain."

Ellie put down her pen and looked at you, her green eyes softening. "Uncertainty isn't always bad, you know. Sometimes it's just room for something new, something better."

You looked at her, really looked at her, and felt something shift inside you. "That's pretty wise for a 17-year-old."

She blushed a little, turning her attention back to her notebook. "Well, don't spread it around. I have a reputation to maintain. Plus, I’m almost 18."

The rest of the study session went smoothly. You’d occasionally sigh and drop your head in frustration, making Ellie stifle a giggle and demand you get back to work. You had only known her for a day and was already falling into a rhythm with her. You didn’t want to go home, but the sun was beginning to set and you wanted time to rest. Time to think about the day you had and try to make sense of it. When it was time to leave, Ellie walked you to the door.

"Thanks for coming over. It was fun," she said, her hands twisting together.

"Yeah, I had a good time too," you replied, feeling a strange mix of happiness and reluctance to leave.

As you stepped out into the cool evening air, Ellie's words echoed in your mind: "Uncertainty isn't always bad... it's just room for something new, something better." And as you walked back across the dirt path to your house, you couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, something new and better had already begun.

You walked into your room, shutting the door behind you as if to seal off the world outside. It was your sanctuary, a little haven where you could breathe, think, and just be. You tossed your backpack onto the bed and sank into your chair, letting out a sigh as you looked around. Your room was still a mix of unpacked boxes and half-arranged furniture—a physical representation of your current state of mind, unsettled yet hopeful.

Picking up your phone, you noticed you had an unread Instagram DM. Your heart skipped a beat; could it be Ellie? Unlocking your phone, you saw the message was from Ingrid. Curiosity piqued, you opened.

ingrid.xoxo: Hey there, newbie. How was your first day?

You felt strange reading her message. Like it was something you weren’t supposed to be doing. Was she just being friendly or was there something more? You quickly typed back.

y/nsworld: hey! It was a little overwhelming but good overall. how was your day? 

Almost instantly, she replied.

ingrid.xoxo: Same old, same old. But seeing a fresh face around made it more interesting. 😉

The winking emoji caught your attention. Was she flirting? A little flutter of excitement mixed with confusion settled in your stomach.

Before you could process it further, the front door opened and closed loudly. It was your mom, finally home from work. You heard her footsteps coming up the stairs, and a few seconds later, she knocked on your door.

"Come in," you called.

The door swung open and your mom stepped in, her face tired but lighting up when she saw you. "Hey, sweetheart. How was your first day at the new school?"

You looked at her and smiled. "It was good, Mom. Made some new friends, and Ellie from next door is really nice. I went there and studied after school."

"That's wonderful," she said, her eyes shining with relief. "I was so worried you'd have a hard time adjusting."

"I mean, it's still the first day, but so far, so good," you said, shrugging. The relief on your mom’s face made you uneasy. You wanted to make this transition easy for both of you, but there was a newfound pressure building inside of you. You had to make it work here, even if you were unhappy. There was no escaping this place, and you suddenly felt trapped. Before your mind could go any further, she was speaking again. 

"That's my brave girl," she said, coming over to give you a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

As she left the room and wished you a goodnight with a firm kiss pressed to the top of your head, you sat back and sighed. Your phone buzzed again. Another message from Ingrid.

ingrid.xoxo: So, got any plans for the weekend? Maybe you'd like a tour guide to show you around. 😊

There it was again, that undercurrent of something more than just friendliness. You found yourself smiling, both intrigued and uncertain. It was as if life, in its own whimsical way, was presenting new possibilities, each more complicated than the last.

You glanced back at the door, then at your phone, then at the unpacked boxes still sitting in your room. Everything felt like a question mark, and as Ellie had wisely noted, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Lying back on your bed, you stared up at the ceiling, pondering your response to Ingrid, your new friendships, and the unpredictability of life itself. Uncertainty, as it turns out, could indeed be the room for something new, something better.

And so, with a mix of excitement and apprehension, you typed out your reply to Ingrid, hitting send before you could second-guess yourself.

y/nsworld: a tour guide sounds fun. i'm in. :) 

PRESENT DAY 

When Ellie's text popped up on your phone two days ago, you almost deleted it without reading it. The mere sight of her name on your screen was like a splinter you couldn't remove—small but persistently painful. She wrote that she missed your friendship, and though you wanted to scoff at her audacity, a part of you hesitated. Her words, "Can we at least talk? Just as friends?" echoed in your mind. Against your better judgment, a wave of nostalgia washed over you, and before you knew it, you found yourself typing, "Fine, but this doesn't mean anything." Now, as you stepped into the quaint coffee shop where so many of your past memories were brewed, you questioned that decision.

"You're early," Ellie remarked, her voice as flat as the expression on her face.

"I had nothing better to do," you responded, matching her tone as you stepped into the coffee shop. It was almost empty, the aroma of freshly ground coffee mingling with the subtle tension that had settled between you two.

"Of course, you didn't," Ellie sighed, sliding a cup of coffee your way across the wooden table. On it was marked with your order, two pumps of hazelnut, two pumps of vanilla, and one pump of almond, extra cream. 

You looked at the cup, then back at Ellie. "You remembered how I like my coffee."

"I'm not completely useless."

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip while simultaneously biting your tongue. You had every right to tell her she was useless, but you refrained. It was perfect, just the way you liked it. "What do you want, Ellie?"

Ellie sighed, looking uncomfortable for a moment before speaking, "I wanted to talk. About us."

You almost snorted into your coffee. "Us? There is no 'us'. Not anymore."

"I know I messed up, okay? But can't we at least—"

"Messed up?" you cut her off, feeling the familiar surge of anger rise within you. "You didn't just 'mess up', Ellie. You broke something. Something that can't be fixed."

Ellie flinched as if you had slapped her. The look on her face almost making you feel guilty. But she didn’t have that right anymore, and you weren’t about to let her back in.

 "I know. And I'll regret that for the rest of my life. But can't we at least try to be civil? For the sake of our friends, if not for us?"

You looked at her, really looked at her, and for a moment you were back in her living room, struggling with physics homework and discussing the uncertainties of life. Back when things were simpler, easier. But that was a different time, a different you, and most importantly, a different Ellie.

"Being civil is a far cry from what you're suggesting," you said finally, breaking the silence.

Ellie sighed. "I know I don't deserve a second chance. Hell, I don't even deserve your friendship. But can't we at least try to be... something?"

You stared at her, pondering her words. The Ellie sitting in front of you now seemed so different from the girl you had fallen for. And yet, there were moments, fleeting seconds, when you could almost see traces of the old Ellie—the one who made you laugh, who made you think, who made you feel like you were the only person in the world.

But those traces were just that—fleeting and insubstantial. The real Ellie, the one sitting in front of you, was a reminder of a chapter you had painfully closed.

"We can try," you said finally, "but I can't promise anything."

Ellie nodded, a mixture of relief and regret flashing across her face. "I guess that's all I can ask for."

As you both sipped your coffee in silence, the weight of what was left unsaid hung heavy in the air. And yet, for the first time in a long time, it felt like you could both breathe a little easier.

But as Ellie's eyes met yours, you couldn't help but wonder: in the quest for something new, something better, had you both lost something irreplaceable? There was something substantially broken between the two of you now, innocence on both parts lost. 

TWO YEARS AGO

You found yourself standing in front of your bathroom mirror, staring at your reflection as you pondered what to wear for this so-called 'tour' with Ingrid. You wondered if you should aim for casual or if Ingrid, with her meticulous style, would expect something more. After rummaging through your wardrobe, you settled on a simple pair of jeans and a loose-fitting white shirt. Casual, yet presentable. You threw on a light jacket, considering the morning chill, and took one last look in the mirror. Satisfied but not entirely confident, you grabbed your phone and headed downstairs. Your mom was sitting at the dining room table, bowl of cereal in front of her with her spoon in one hand and phone in the other.

"Going out?" Your mom looked up from her phone, her eyes scanning your outfit.

"Yeah, a girl from school is showing me around town."

"Ah, great. Text me if you need anything." Her eyes returned to her phone, but not before you caught the fleeting look of relief. There the pressure was again, and in turn your sinking stomach. 

"See you later, Mom," you said, heading for the door.

"Have fun, sweetheart!" she called out as you closed the door behind you.

As you approached Ingrid's car, you noticed her already leaning against it. She was wearing what could only be described as the epitome of 'casual chic'—ripped jeans, a designer top, and a pair of sunglasses perched effortlessly on her head. She looked up from her phone and greeted you with a broad, almost rehearsed, smile.

"Ready for your grand tour?" Ingrid inquired, her eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than you were comfortable with.

"Ready as I'll ever be," you replied, cautiously optimistic about the day ahead.

The interior of Ingrid's car was as meticulously maintained as her appearance. The leather seats were pristine, and the air was scented with something floral, bordering on overpowering. She started the engine, and you were off.

The first few minutes were filled with awkward silence. You sensed that Ingrid was waiting for you to initiate conversation, but you were too wrapped up in your thoughts to open your mouth to speak. Finally, she broke the ice.

"So, first stop, the infamous Longview Park. You'll love it—it's where everyone hangs out," she said, her voice tinged with enthusiasm that sounded slightly rehearsed.

"That sounds fun," you responded, forcing a smile.

As you drove through the town, Ingrid began to pepper you with questions. They started off harmless enough—questions about your old town, your interests, your favorite movies. But as the drive continued, the questions began to probe deeper.

"So, why did you move here? If you don't mind me asking," she added hastily, as though realizing she might be venturing into sensitive territory.

"My dad passed away. We couldn’t afford to live there anymore, so we had to move," you replied, trying to maintain composure. You had rehearsed this response, but it still felt like you were ripping off a Band-Aid every time you said it.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Ingrid responded, her voice softening for the first time that morning. But before you could reply, she was off again. "Are you seeing anyone?"

The abrupt switch in topic caught you off-guard. "Uh, no, not right now," you stammered.

"Really? Someone as hot as you? I find that hard to believe," she said, her eyes briefly meeting yours before returning to the road.

"Um, thanks," you muttered, not entirely sure how to interpret the compliment.

Ingrid seemed to take your discomfort as a cue to change the subject. "We're almost at Longview Park. It's truly the heart of our community," she declared, as if rehearsed.

As you pulled into the parking lot of Longview Park, you took a deep breath. It was time to see what this 'heart of the community' was all about.

he car rolled to a stop, and Ingrid switched off the engine, her eyes twinkling like she was unveiling a secret treasure. "And here we are—Longview Park. It's like the social hub of our high school world."

You opened the car door and stepped out, looking around. The park was sizable, dotted with large oaks and willows that offered generous shade. A playground occupied one corner, bustling with the laughter of children, while a pond shimmered peacefully in the mid-morning sun. People were everywhere—jogging, playing Frisbee, or simply lounging on the grass. It had a communal feel.

Ingrid led you along a gravel path, her steps confident and rehearsed as if she'd walked this path a thousand times before. "See that gazebo over there?" she pointed, "That's like the unofficial meet-up spot for parties and hangouts. And over there is the infamous 'Lovers' Lane' where couples go to... well, you know."

Her words were punctuated with a suggestive wink that made you feel slightly uncomfortable. You chuckled nervously, trying to dispel the awkwardness.

As you walked, you couldn't help but notice the way people looked at Ingrid—long enough to show interest but not too long to risk her noticing. She seemed to command attention effortlessly, and you couldn't tell if it was her charisma or if you were completely missing something

"Everyone loves to be here on weekends," Ingrid continued, her tone casual but her eyes scanning the area, as if looking for someone or something in particular. "It's a great place to catch up with friends or make new ones. Like we're doing right now."

She shot you a smile, the kind that was meant to be endearing but felt slightly off-mark. You returned it nonetheless. "It's a nice place. Very... lively," you said, choosing your words carefully.

As you neared the pond, you spotted a familiar face sitting on one of the benches—Cat. And next to her, unmistakably, was Ellie. They seemed engrossed in conversation, their faces inches apart. A pang of something—was it jealousy?—stabbed at you, but you quickly brushed it aside.

"Hey, look who it is!" Ingrid's voice brought you back to reality. She had followed your gaze and was now staring directly at Ellie and Cat. "Want to go say hi?"

You hesitated. The last thing you wanted was an awkward run-in, but before you could voice your concerns, Ingrid had already started walking toward them.

"Hey Cat, Ellie!" she called out, her voice unnaturally high. Both heads turned in your direction, and the range of emotions that crossed their faces in that brief moment was unsettling—surprise, confusion, and something else you couldn't quite put your finger on.

"Hey Ingrid," Ellie finally spoke, her eyes meeting yours for a fleeting second before returning to Ingrid. "What brings you here?"

"Just giving our new resident a grand tour of Longview Park," Ingrid replied, her arm casually draping over your shoulder. You felt a shiver run down your spine but chose to ignore it.

"That's nice of you," Cat chimed in, her eyes narrowing slightly as they settled on you. You couldn't tell if she was being sincere or just sizing you up.

"Yeah, it's been fun," you said, forcing a smile. But your eyes met Ellie's once more, and the unspoken words hung heavily in the air between you.

"Well, we won't keep you," Ingrid said abruptly, as if sensing the tension. "Lots more to see. Come on," she tugged at your arm lightly, and you followed her back to the path, leaving Ellie and Cat behind.

As you walked away, you felt Ellie's gaze burning into your back. You wanted to look back, to catch one last glimpse of her, but you resisted. Whatever was or wasn't happening between you and Ellie would have to wait. Right now, you were on Ingrid's turf, and you couldn't help but feel like a pawn in a much larger game.

"Shall we continue?" Ingrid asked, breaking the silence.

"Sure," you replied, but your thoughts were already miles away.

The door clicked shut as you slid into the passenger seat, your thoughts still reeling from the encounter at the park. Ingrid revved up the engine and pulled away, humming softly to the beat of the song playing on the radio. You looked over at her, everything about her seemed staged. 

"How did you like the park?" she asked, casting a quick glance in your direction.

"It was... interesting," you said cautiously. "It's a nice place, very lively. Lots of history, I imagine."

Ingrid chuckled. "Oh, you have no idea. It's like the theater of high school drama. Anything and everything happens there."

Her words hung in the air, and you couldn't help but feel like there was a deeper meaning behind them. But before you could ponder it further, your phone buzzed. Glancing down, you saw Ellie's name flash on the screen.

Ellie: hey. can we talk later?

You felt a mixed bag of emotions, but you were mostly nervous. You hadn’t taken the group's warning and hung out with Ingrid anyays. It wasn’t like she was two fingers deep inside of you, but with the way Cat and Ellie looked, it seemed that way.  You were about to type a response when you noticed Ingrid's eyes flicking toward your phone screen, then back to the road.

"Who's that?" she asked, her tone casual but her eyes betraying a hint of curiosity.

"Just a friend," you said, choosing your words carefully. "We're supposed to catch up later."

"Oh," she responded, but you could sense a change in her demeanor, a tightening around her eyes. "Well, I hope I'm not keeping you from anything important."

"No, not at all," you reassured her, quickly typing a response to Ellie. "Sure, let's talk. Text me when you're free."

As you pressed send, you couldn't help but wonder about the timing. Why did Ellie want to talk now? And what was it about? Your thoughts were interrupted by Ingrid turning up the volume on the radio, her fingers drumming rhythmically on the steering wheel.

"So," she began, breaking the momentary silence, "we've covered quite a bit today. Any highlights?"

You pondered the question. "Well, the park was a highlight, I guess. It's always good to know where people hang out. Makes me feel less like an outsider."

Ingrid smiled, but there was something about it that made you uneasy. "You're not an outsider, you know. You're just new, and new can be exciting."

"Thanks," you said, your phone buzzing again. This time it was a text from your mom asking about your day.

Feeling the need to switch gears, you asked, "So, how long have you been living here? You seem to know everyone and everything."

"Born and raised," she declared proudly. "It has its pros and cons, but I like it. And yes, I do know a lot of people, but it's not hard when you grow up here. Everyone kind of knows everyone."

"That must be nice," you said, though a part of you wondered what it would be like to have that much history in one place—so many connections, but also so many ties that could bind you.

"Yeah," she paused, her expression turning serious. "But it can also be a bit suffocating, you know? Sometimes you just want to break free, start fresh somewhere new. Like you."

You looked at her, intrigued by this sudden glimpse into her thoughts. "Well, starting fresh isn't as glamorous as it seems. It has its own ups and downs."

"True," she conceded. "But at least it's a blank slate."

Before you could respond, your phone buzzed again. Another text from Ellie.

Ellie: i really need to talk to you. it's important.

This time, you couldn't ignore the urgency in her message. Something was up, something significant. You looked up to find Ingrid watching you, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, but her tone suggested she already knew the answer.

You hesitated, weighing your options. "Actually, I might need to cut our day short. Something's come up at home."

Ingrid's eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw something flicker in them—disappointment, perhaps, or maybe something else.

"Of course," she said, finally breaking eye contact. "Life happens. Let's get you home."

You stepped out of Ingrid's car, waving goodbye as she drove off. Your phone buzzed as you approached your front door, another text from Ellie.

Ellie: can you meet me at the grind? it’s about two blocks away from our house. i can drive us back. 

 You texted back a quick "on my way" and made your way over.

Ten minutes later, you walked into The Grind, the local coffee shop where the whole town seemed to be at this moment. As you scanned the room, your eyes met Ellie's. She was seated at a corner table, her phone face down and her fingers nervously tapping a rhythm against her coffee mug.

"Hey," you greeted as you approached, pulling out the chair across from her.

"Hey," Ellie replied, her eyes meeting yours briefly before averting. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem. Sounded like it was urgent. What's up?"

"I saw you today," she began cautiously, "with Ingrid."

A knot formed in your stomach. "Yeah, she was showing me around. Why?"

Ellie hesitated, looking down at her mug, and tapping the handle. She closed her eyes for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "Be careful with her. She's not what she seems."

"I mean I heard what you guys said about her at lunc but," you replied, taking a sip of your coffee. "She seems harmless."

She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. Cut right above her shoulders, the choppy layers suited her face. "Ingrid has a way of getting close to people, and it's not always for the right reasons. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Your eyes met, and you felt a strange warmth spread through you. Ellie was concerned for you. But why? She had only known you a day. You searched her face for an answer, for anything, but you came up short.

"Do you have something against her?" you asked, not hiding your skepticism.

"No," Ellie was quick to respond, "it's not like that. I've just seen her ruin friendships, relationships. She's manipulative."

"You seem serious," you remarked, detecting a tinge of something in her voice—was it jealousy?

Ellie looked down at her mug, her fingers ceasing their tapping. "I just don't want history to repeat itself, okay?"

"History?" you questioned, leaning forward. "What happened?"

She looked up again, her eyes meeting yours again, but this time they were vulnerable, exposed. "Ingrid and I had a thing once. And it felt more serious than her ‘things’ with Cat and Dina. And let's just say it didn't end well."

Now it made sense. The hints, the caution—it was personal for Ellie.

She held your gaze, her eyes searching yours for something you couldn't name. "Also," she paused, as if weighing whether to continue, "You’re my friend now. I care about you. And I don't want to see you get hurt."

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The air was thick with unspoken words.

You finally broke the silence. "Thank you for telling me, Ellie. I appreciate it."

She nodded, her eyes never leaving yours. "Yeah, yeah. Of course"

As you left The Grind, your thoughts were a swirl of confusion and clarity. Ellie's concern had added another layer to the already complicated dynamic of your new life. But through it all, one thing became clear—Ellie cared about you, maybe more than she was willing to admit.

And as you replayed the conversation in your mind, you couldn't shake the feeling that Ellie wasn't just warning you about Ingrid. She was also staking her claim, marking her territory in a landscape that was becoming increasingly complicated.

[jester089]

If it’s ok, can you indulge my love for The Amazing Digital Circus?

I was just thinking of the gang with an s/o who’s seen as the rock of the group that is always strong willed, happy go luck, helpful and supportive. But they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode where they’re crying in frustration and punching a wall to calm down before going back to pretending like nothing happened?

I have a thing for strong willed characters hiding their perceived weakness from others.

Be strong for them

Thanks for the request! I feel for this type of character a lot. Now you didn't specify if you wanted the whole crew and you being the s/o of one. Or individual. So I'll do individual so that whoever your fav is their'll be something for them. Except Bubble though cause I just can't come up with stuff for them, sry.

Caine

Despite being an AI who doesn't really understand humans I feel he would notice your inner turmoil. He kind of has too! Cause he has to watch for and know if someone is going to abstract. Moving on he appreciates you being strong willed and a joy to be around seeing as how it makes others stick around longer. You can't have a circus without performers after all. Caine being how he is he would most likely just appear in your room while your having a breakdown multiple times because he wants something from you not even noticing you having trouble mentally. Only time he would really notice is if you were at the apex of that breakdown when he showed up. I can 100% see him just floating a few feet away from you one eyebrow raised for a minute with worried eyes before he asked if you were ok. If you said yes, despite what he think's he'll believe you. First few times. If you say no and seem to be looking for some comfort he'll do his best but he isn't exactly good at that kind of thing. More likely then not he wont really touch you but he'll give some words of encouragement and probably ask if their is anything you want (except a way out of the digital realm.) And whatever you ask for you'll have in an instant. But their is a limit. He can't be spoiling you now. He still needs your input on things and giving gifts wont be special anymore if you get whatever you want whenever you want. And after doing the bare minimum and seeing you bounce back and be how you always are he'll assume that what he did worked perfectly and your fine now. He's a little dense I'll be honest. 2.5/10 comfort

Gangle

Now Gangle isn't exactly good with emotions. She has tons sure. But handling them is another story. But you being there and always seemingly in a good mood nothing really affecting you will help her keep calm. I mean just having an anchor can make stuff you usually can't deal with seem small. (Especially if you stick up to Jax for her. Or better yet get her confident enough to do it herself.) When she walked in on you having a breakdown first thing her mind would go to is that your on the verge abstracting which causes her to panic and make the whole thing worse. She doesn't try to it's just a lot all at once. Especially considering how you don't usually show this kind of stuff. Now once the initial shock has worn off and at least she has calmed down some she'll be pretty good at helping you calm down. I mean she's a cinnamon roll. Even if her ways of comfort don't work well just knowing she's trying will definitely help. Now if you cope with more self destructive ways she'll be more worried but try her best to trust you. Though that doesn't mean she'll just let you punch things, especially things that could hurt you (I've punched a few walls in my time and I can safely say it hurts.) Now when you just snap back to how you usually are nothing expect the red eyes and dried tear streams on your face will cause a whole load of more worry in her. How long has this been going on?! Are you ok?! Can she do anything?! DO YOU STILL LOVE HER!?! If you don't accept her help she'll probably start to spiral and take that as you don't trust her enough or you don't think she can help you. So for her sake, and yours let her help. Cause if you do that'll lead to a whole lot of trust and make a very sturdy base for your relationship. It'll also help her get better with emotions as a whole. She wishes she could do more for you but she can and will do what she can with what she has. 8/10 comfort

Zooble

Oof. This probably isn't going to end well. It's basically like a angsty teen trying to comfort someone they care about. Zooble probably acts like she hates how happy and upbeat you are. But she doesn't. When she's laying in bed not wanting to get up the thought of going on an adventure and watching you be dumb on purpose makes her smile and get up. Sure every day is the same in the circus, but with you there it's a nice version of repetitiveness. Now Zooble has a lot of problems. Everyone in the circus does. But if she walked in on your having a breakdown I feel like she would honestly just turn around and leave. Not because she doesn't care. But because she feels she'll make it worse if she stays. Every 5 minutes or so she'll poke her head back in your room to see how your doing. Probably accompanied with a quiet "You uhhh. You doing ok?" if your still crying. Now if she peaked her head in and you were back to normal she might honestly think she hallucinated you crying like that. But their are some things you can't hide. Like puffy eyes or how your voice is a little wavy from crying. So knowing even less what to do now she'll just join you in your room and sit on your bed hoping that just her being around will be enough. Now if you break down again and start venting about what is worrying you she'll sit there and listen intently. If not she'll think that your still not doing ok but she doesn't really know how to bring that out. Or help with it. Overall her comfort is a little lacking but she's trying her best. 4.5/10 comfort

Kinger

Now I headcannon that Kinger is really, really, REALLY good at comfort. I mean did you see the impenetrable fortresses door, and how it was being held up. I don't think a single person ever who is good at making pillow forts is bad at comfort. I feel like overall he would be pretty indifferent to you being all happy though he would appreciate the supportive vibe you bring. He's crazy, I'll just be honest about that. But he seems to be surprisingly resilient as he never gets worse, or better. He just is. When he walks in on you freaking out he doesn't flinch or is surprised. He's been in the digital circus a long time. And he's lost many. He understands why. So he just calmly walks in gives you a light hug No idea how. He doesn't have arms. and a quick forehead kiss. He sits you two down on the floor and makes a little pillow wall around you two. Then he (in a surprisingly calm voice) asks what's troubling you. Now you don't exactly have a choice of if you do or don't tell him. He's lost to many to just leave you on your own in this. So he'll sit there a hand resting on your knee while you mentally prepare yourself. Out of everyone he's the most likely to genuinely and long term help you calm down. He's seen many things, been through many things. No matter what it is that's worrying you it wont surprise him and he can probably help. 10/10 comfort

Ragatha

Well aren't you two just the perfect duo Ragtha is pretty mentally drained having the always be the one that everyone rely on. She was the only anchor for this place the only one keeping everyone spirits high. Then you showed up and made the work 50/50. That's what initially made you catch her eye. You two have enough infection happiness and good vibes to make just about anyone have a good day. Though their are diminishing returns the digital circus wouldn't be the same without you two. When she walks in on your falling apart she reacts two ways. One she also starts freaking out (Just instinct at this point. I mean you saw her in the pilot, every time Pomni started breaking down she interrupted it.) And two a whole lot of understanding on where your coming from. She sits down with you and lets your get it all out before speaking. She asks if your ok, if she can do anything, and what caused it. Once you explain that it's just all so much. The circus, having to be strong for everyone else. It puts so much pressure on you. On hearing that Ragatha breaks into tears flipping the comfort giver and receiver. Once she has gotten most of it out and can make comprehensible sentences again she explains how she's going through the same. On hearing that you feel really bad. You've only been here what a year and your already breaking down over it. But you've always had Ragatha there to lighten the load. But she's been here so much longer doing the exact same but without anyone else to help her. So you make it a kind of personal mission from then on to not make your problems hers and help her out when and wherever you can. -3/10 Comfort. She just had a lot of stuff bottled up and ended up making you worry about even more.

Jax

Jax's first thought would probably be "Oh great, another Ragatha to deal with." But something about you isn't as annoying to him as Ragatha. He actually enjoys and appreciates all that you do for him. And the others too I guess. Now be warned Jax deals with a lot of stuff with humor. And his sense of humor is putting others through anguish mental, emotional, and physical. So when he first finds you crying will most likely make a joke about you being a cry baby or "So you finally broke huh? I always wondered how long it would take" making you feel much worse about it. When if he notices that he'll feel bad and stop maybe. He'll more likely then not just exist in your room, leaning against a wall or grabbing random items off of shelves/your desk to fiddle with. Now when you snap back to how you usually are I really feel like he'll just be like "Oh cool. You fine. Well I'm gonna go get some food." then leave you alone with your thoughts. (I'm sorry to all you Jax fans it's just I don't go for looks like most do. I'm entirely attracted to personality. And Jax's isn't great. I mean Gooseworx confirmed that he isn't like nice deep down. He's just an a$&hole. So if Jax is your fav my Tumblr ain't for you.) 0/10

Pomni

You and Ragatha keep Pomni in one piece. (I mean if Ragatha wasn't in the pilot I feel like Pomni would already be abstracted.) So she kind of clings to you. Not physically but she would fall apart pretty quickly without you there. So when you asked her to grab something for you she did without a second thought. But she wasn't expecting to come back to hearing crying followed by a loud thump in your room. She sprints over and throws the door open only for you to be completely ok and sitting at your desk. You thank her for grabbing it for you then go back to what you were doing making her think she's gone of the deep end and is hearing things. But then it happens again, and again. Leading her to believe your just hiding something from her. So next time it happens she sneaks up to your door and carefully peaks inside only to see your tugging at your hair tears streaming down your face. You punch the wall making her jump and make some noise. Your eyes lock onto the small crack in between the door and the frame you two locking eyes. She blushes heavily then slowly opens the door basically admitting to eavesdropping. She was just worried is all. You quickly clean yourself up and apologize for having her see you like that only causing her to worry more. She doesn't push it knowing from experience how that feels but from that day on she tries to not put as much pressure on you. And makes an effort to return the favor when she can. 4.5/10 comfort (I sincerely enjoyed writing this. Cause I am also a sucker for that kind of character. Hope you enjoyed it!)

xoxo, Jester

[aihoshiino]

chapter 136 thoughts

before i get into the sad stuff i need to say that ai eating ice cream with her head empty no thoughts expression blasted ten hundred million billion tons of dopamine directly into my brain. thank you.

This chapter is interesting for a lot of reasons but I will say up front that I'm really glad the story is taking the time to humanize Nino and to flesh out the absolute mess that are her feelings towards Ai. I was really excited when she entered the story because I had always wanted to know more about the 45510 narrator (which this chapter basically unambiguously confirms even more strongly than before — we get the 45510 drop again!) but I was worried after meeting the real Nino that she would be painted as a black and white villain. Through Kana's empathy for her and the movie's portrayal of her though, we get to see her as just a normal person.

Because like… I'm gonna be honest, I feel so deeply sorry for Nino! Like, Jesus Christ, don't forget that she was anywhere between twelve and sixteen when all this was happening. She was just a kid being brainpoisoned by the entertainment industry and held to impossible standards. She had no power and the few things she felt she had any control over were being ripped out of her grasp. Is it any wonder she reached a breaking point?

Not just that but… man, B-Komachi gen 1 just seemed like it was an utterly dogshit experience for everybody but especially anyone who wasn't Ai. Both Nino and Kyun have said it explicitly: they did not feel like valued members of the group. Saitou pushed and favoured Ai to the extent that everyone else in B-Komachi felt like backup dancers who were just there to make Ai shine brighter. We see this pattern repeated in B-Komachi gen 2, as well! I've already talked about how in a very real sense, the group only exists for Ruby's sake and Kana and Memcho really are just there as her accessories but Miyako herself is favouring and pushing Ruby for work to the extent that even Ichigo points out that she needs to give the other girls more jobs. No wonder Kana empathizes with Nino so deeply.

Something else really interesting about this chapter is getting to see what dealing with Ai is like from someone else's POV. Understand that I'm saying this as the Internet's Foremost Ai Wife Guy but oh my god!!! I think this is the first time we've gotten a really good understanding for how deeply, deeply frustrating Ai really must have been to deal with as a person only allowed to see the perfect 'Ai of B-Komachi' mask. Nino is all but breaking down in front of someone she considers a friend, begging her for the slightest bit of honesty and authenticity, for Ai to just show that she cares about Nino in the least… and Ai just gives her a bunch of blithe, noncommittal answers. Even knowing Ai as well as I do, I could almost feel a ghost of Nino's desperation and frustration pass over me as I read that exchange.

With that in mind, Nino's outburst at the end of the scene here doesn't feel like pure nastiness - it feels like desperation. It feels like her lashing out with the worst possible thing she can think to say because if she hurts Ai, if Ai actually shows that Nino's words reach her at all, if Ai's human enough for Nino to hurt then…

But, well. We already know how this all turned out. Even so, like Kana said… Ai's smile is suffocating.

Speaking of Kana, this was a damn good chapter for her. A lot of people seem to have interpreted her as getting 'lost' in the role of Nino but going by this chapter's portrayal, Kana seems to have a much healthier distance from her than Ruby does to Ai right now (BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT….), being literally portrayed as viewing the scene as if from a distance. I do think her empathizing with Nino is allowing her to examine and get out some of the hurt and resentment that's been bubbling away since Black Hoshigan Ruby but things are being so infinitely more complicated by everything else going on around this split.

Speaking of which… whoooooooof, Ruby. Her levelling up her understanding of Ai was uh, not quite as good for her as I'd previously thought. It's important to note that this is pretty clearly Ruby's feelings that she is projecting onto Ai: in 45510, Ai herself explicitly says that she never hated the B-Komachi girls and Ruby blurting this out here feels like a very pointed contrast to that. It's pretty clear to me that we're coming back around to something established during the preproduction phase: that this material is quite literally triggering for Ruby and it's damaging for her to be engaging with it.

… which is why it's so, so scummy for Gotanda to be pushing this. I'm holding back on really going into what I'm thinking of Gotanda right now because I want to see if/how the manga addresses this but I'll just say that I'm coming away from this part of the story feeling much more sour about him than I think I'm intended to. It's possible that this is just because I'm fresh off hearing Jeanette McCurdy's horrific account of how damaging this kind of acting was to her as a child but… I find it really hard to like and get behind a director who is purposely letting his actors endure intense psychological suffering for the sake of His Vision lol

After all, like… for all that he talks about wanting to film 'the true Ai', this Ruby freakout is not that! That's Ruby, snapping under the strain of the pressure put on her. Even if you want to argue Ai felt similar strain… is her restraint and her grace and patience in not giving out under it not also 'real'? Why does authenticity necessitate turning Ai's ugly feelings into a spectacle? Why does Gotanda think he has the right to make calls on what is 'authentic' here?

I'd say "who died and made him king" but that's the point, isn't it? Ai died. She's not here anymore to make calls about her identity and the people who are here and who are in a position to do so aren't actually doing it with care and consideration or proper respect for her memory. This movie has been touched by so many people who have their own agendas, who did not know anything about Ai and quite frankly have no right to be making calls about who she really was and what she really felt. 15 Year Lie is an utterly ghoulish production and nobody is coming out of it clean.

[yourmaidsp]

Hii,

I'm having big difficulty with digital coloring T-T Are there perhaps any tips u can give me pls? Ur so good at it

Hii! (˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ ) I'm so glad u come to me for help! Umm well I'm not that confident about my skills and techniques, but here's everything I've learned over the years

Also, bc I'm gonna do demonstration and detailed analysis, this will be the only time I make tutorial on coloring, I spent 5 hours making it, and I hope you guys are okay with it :3

( and sorry if I nag a lot(´ . .̫ . `) and forgive me of my poor english)

1. Preparation:

first u gotta analyze the image you want to achieve, if it has background, what environment will it be, indoor or outdoor? what time of the day is it? Do u need it to be stylized or realistic?

When your idea is finalized it's time to gather references, I'd recommend using tools like PureRef to make a ref sheet bc it can be set to always on top layer, it's easier to reference this way.

If you're going for a realistical color design, search for photos close to what you desire, especially film screenshots. Also I'd suggest that u start to take reference photos yourself, bc search on Google leads u to ai sometimes,

and those are no good (´ . .̫ . `)

(For surreal color designs I'll elaborate on the next chapter～)

(here's my all in one big ass ref sheet for sp projects

bc I'm lazy(´ . .̫ . `))

I suggest u make different ref pages for different illustrations.

2. Set Tones :

(I find this color wheel on the internet, we'll be using this for demonstration)

Now u have a ref sheet, hurray! It's time to set the tone!

Most of the time u want a consistent tone for the image, like, I wanna go for a green overall tone, I'd fill my cavas with a green background color. Then decide what other colors goes good with it.

here's how it works:

For coherent overall tone, most colors tend to be in places near your main tone. as seen in the color wheel, pick colors adjacent to it's position. We call these analogues.

A small porpotion of colors on the opposite side of your main tone can be used to break the continuety, just like in music, you purposely add stuff to make it less repetitive. It's called complimentary.The most contrasted two colors on the wheel.

I use these two tricks a lot, as seen in both these two paintings:

(I put the small orange/red dots near the edge even though it's not there, to emphasize the concept of light against the overall blue tone.)

(to make Butters stand out against the environment I give him an orange bucket and a more saturated skin tone :3 )

For extreme stylized tones, I'd suggest just go wild! experement and use colors straight out of instinct, use whatever that is on the colorwheel. Use a lot of contrast!

(for e.g, this piece about that stan and whales I've doodled, it's an imaginary space, so no realife coloring rules applied.)

Oh oh and um try thumbnailing different sets of colors! Make more designs in case u change ur mind-

Also you can find color palettes other artists summarized online, they'd be quite helpful. And when you're improving you'll have palettes of your own!

3. Analysis n Theories:

Now onto theories-

I'll just use this sketch as an example, it's easier to demonstrate - (thank u Stan_(:зゝ∠)_)

(this is gonna be the longest part pls bear with me´_>`)

First is base color, without lighting this is what most objects are. Imagine things like they're in south park, just paper cutouts, without being affected by any light.

If I use color straight from the show, he's base color would be like this. It goes well with the show's design, but I need to adjust it a bit when putting him in a 3d scenario.

tips: considering the overall tone from chapter 2 while doing this would help a lot. U can tweak the base color before you deal with lighting, for a better effect.

(for coherent tone, some adjustments are made, mainly reducing the overall saturation.)

Then is lighting, normally 2-3 sets of them. Let's do it layer by layer.

Main light source. If it's an outdoor scene, most likely the sun. And for indoor, a lamp, your room's light, or tv screen etc.

When there's one light, it cast one shadow, as seen in my demo, I assume it comes from the sun, it's higher than Stan and on the right side, and cast a 45°shadow to the left side.

In this step u don't want to overthink, just do one plain shadow, follow the structure of the objects you'r painting. You can find a lot of anatomy refs online.

Secondary light source. It can be used to elevate the mood, and in some cases creates a stunning silhouette.

Since he's in an outdoor scene, my secondary light might come from behind, could be sunlight reflected by a smooth object or sth.

tips: You can use rim light as in some cases. I do that when I don't know what to paint for background.

(this one consists of a warm rim light, to add a slight sacred feeling, and a vague light from somewhere to the left and above him, I make it a cold light source to cool down the skintone for a melancholic mood )

(it's my personal habit of adding tons of these, bc I love subsurface scattering!(it appears when your skin is in front of the light, like my hand here) I find them helpful if you want to indicate intimacy or vulnerability)

Another type of light u can add is environment lights, it comes from various objects around your character, it's a bit complicated, but we can do that later.

Okay, next step,we're gonna use the shadow we just created on our base color, u have different ways to do it.

The quickest one is just put your shadow layer on top of the base,and set the layer property to multiply , grain extract or sub.

This is similar to anime cel shading, add some highlight to the eyes, some variety on the skin tone (for lip, cheek and nose), then you're done! I used to do this when I color the animation, but for illustration I think it might be too simple. I'll show you how I do that when illustrating next.

So, 'member all the shadows we did after base color? Now we need to actually paint them.

In natural environment, your color for shadow should be more sturated than the light, if not affected by environment light and reflections. That's why I lowered the saturation for base color.

So here's the skin color, to find a shadow color for it, tune up saturation and tune down the light.

But this might be just a bit boring, and actual light have color, so either make it a bit warmer or cooler depending on the color of your main light source.

The sun is quite warm, so I'll be tweak it a bit toward red.

(ah, much better!)

Now apply the same method for everything. Pay close attetion to some details:

(the shadows of eye structure is like this, bc the lens is transparent.)

(do a dark shadow in the center of the head to make silky smooth hair, also make the edge of your shadow area sharp.)

(for dry and curly hair, the shadow pattern would be gradiented with small bumps, think about snowball, or cloud.)

Okay, now we finished the first layer of shadow and light!

Now, for secondary light, I chose a reflected sunlight, thus it'd be yellowish. and since it's reflected, a less saturated color

Now apply that logic to everything, remember to use strokes or a softer brush for the subtle lighting.

And don't forget about hair highlight and subdivision scattering!(for the ears mainly, u can add some under the nose aswell)

Another trick is that u can duplicate the line and Gaussian blur it lightly, then set layer to Burn or soft light

(Here's your nostalgic filter!!Neat!)

You can either stop at this step or go in for more detail. But you might need to know about the structures if u wanna do that.

Here's a site I visit for human anatomy:

We'll go back to face again. My habit is just abandon the line and merge all layer at this moment (It's not a good habit so I won't suggest u to do the same.)

Basically what you'll need to do here is to assume more environmental color reflected on to your character, like a bluish light coming from the sky. Also the inside of collar may recieve a warm tone from the skin, etc.

When you do the strokes, remember it goes along the direction of the structure, the length and density will create a sort of rythm, and showing the texture of things. Like, for the hat I'll use shorter and wider, bc it's made of wool.

Here's the outcome! It still needs some improvement, but very close to a finished work.

Some times I add a layer of noise texture to it, I guess you can do that easier on the phone.

4. Brushes n Textures

Oh um, this is actually a part I especiallly have no confident in,,,,, bc I'm not a big fan of using comlicated brushes or blending brushes. Usually I paint with TVPaint animation, for I also do animation and it's simplicity made me unable to be distracted by fancier techniques, I only use these two brushes:

(the basic clear edge round brush)

(and this pencil brush that can also spray paint)

Most of the time I find these enough for my works.

I'd suggest using Procreate, Krita, Photoshop and othe tool for more complicated brush use~

You can learn from some artists I mentioned in the next chapter for brush techniques~

5. Learning habits

So um another thing I'd do in my free time is just browsing Artstation and Pixiv, and if I find a good painting I'd analyze it, using the theories from chapter 3 and 4.

Here are some digital artists I like:

Gop gap, Tommy Kim, Krenz, Qqingyi

And some traditional artists I like are:

John Singer Sargent, Andrew Wyeth, Chirico, Alex Colville, Edward Hopper, Wu Guanzhong.

I hope this tutorial I make will be able to help~

Wish u the best of luck!

[randomnumbers751650]

I finally have time to talk about Lone Trail. I will be focusing on its depiction of science, technology and its progress. Will get a bit political, but funnily enough less than I imagined.

The thing that called my attention most in Lone Trail were the discussions on the nature of scientific progress. This is a theme that’s dear to me and the stuff I research about. It’s easy to think of scientific progress like an inevitable march forward, like an escalator. After all, we are much richer than we were before, right? Go to OurWorldInData dot org to play around with economic statistics in time – make sure to check the World GDP chart, from year 0 to 2000 and see it taking off like a rocket from year 1700.

What kind of Uncle Ted fan or neoluddite would go against that? Haha…hah…

Truth is that, although its effects are there, it’s not a clear if this is the little, neat process techbros want us to believe. It’s new and produces more, therefore it’s good, right? I could be writing this as a new wave of AI-generated NFTs pollute my algorithm.

That’s what makes the storytelling in Arknights so effective: it mashes together fantasy and sci-fi to really tell stories on the role of beliefs, technology, science and religion. The Rhine Lab saga is definitely an exploration of technology, with focus on the equivalent of the United States. During the period before the First World War, 1870-1913 (which is the one that Arknights draws most from), the world underwent through the so-called Second Industrial Revolution and I’ve read economic historians considering it the most innovative period in human history. I mean, obviously, there is an absolute number of inventions in our current age, but in relative terms 1870-1913 experienced a much larger number relative to the previous one.

The escalator narrative constructs scientific achievements as work of daring people (mostly men, but there were women like Marie Cuire), that combined science and technology to help mankind, like Prometheus giving mankind fire from the gods (in fact, one of these books is even named “Prometheus Unbound”); more than often they have to fight against the establishment. Remember Ignaz von Semmelweis? He just wanted doctors to wash their hands. Even I learned this standard narrative in the university. But that’s not the entire story.

The positivistic paradigm – of a science free of value judgements, made with the power of math – has actually helped build this escalator narrative. In reality, some scientists and scholars are horrible people. Later, I learned that Semmelweis, as much as he campaigned for the right thing, was a very arrogant person, who abused everyone around him, to the point few people went to his funeral.

Narratives focusing on one single hero are easy to sell and the ones building them are always on the lookout. Remember how ten years ago, a lot of people tried to push the narrative Elon Musk was going to create a new industrial revolution? Nowadays he’s just an arrogant loser who keeps dragging on his midlife crisis. The 1880s also had similar people like that, such as Thomas Edison.

Kristen Wright is definitely better than them both, because she is actually an engineering genius. But she’s also just like them, in the sense of unethical experiments, collusion with the military-industrial complex and being an overall superficially charismatic, but rotten to the core person. And she’s surrounded by a lot of people like Parvis and Ferdinand.

Breaking this line of reason, I have to say how much I hate Nietzsche’s ubermensch and master-slave morality, I hate Great Men theory, I hate Ayn Rand; these people are sheep who think themselves wolves. And before you say that Nietzsche didn’t consider himself an ubermensch, well, neither did Parvis and his reasoning was the same. For every person fancying themselves ubermensch, there’s a lot of those whom he’d call untermensch to clean up their messes. You have no idea of how times I stumbled upon people (especially libertarians) that advocate lower barriers to regulations that were written in blood, so that progress can happen quicker. Creative destruction works, as long as some people get “creative” and others clean the “destruction”. Deaths and injuries? Acceptable, just give them a pension (but fight tooth and nail in the court to not do it beyond the barest of the bare minimum, because it’ll lower the shareholder profit in 0.01%). Increase in inequality? Nobody will care in a few years, it’ll make everything cheaper anyway (look up Baumol’s cost disease to see how wrong that statement is, without being incorrect). I’m not exaggerating, sometimes the people saying that don’t even bother lacing it in politically correct language.

Because Lone Trail showed it “worked” – Kristen Wright broke off the ceiling over Terra and that will have consequences (especially with Endfield coming closer). The data from her experiments will advance science, the sight of a broken ceiling will inspire artists and prompt politicians to act. Was it worth it? Well, it will depend on who you ask (like, Ifrit or Rosmontis would have strong feelings), but it’s just there now. Serious history isn’t kind on this question as well – many technologies have a lot of transgressions, both legal and ethical, in their supply chain (both the American and Soviet space program come to my mind – guess who helped them); the difference between an entrepreneur and a criminal are contextual, because both are finding new opportunities of profit and both interlock frequently.

In the end, anyone can put an equation that has its uses, not mattering if it’s a good person or not. But that is no excuse to find good ethical practices. Silence saw everything with her own eyes and I’m really glad she’s leading the initiative for a more ethical science in Columbia – especially because people who are willing to break moral rules tend also to be willing to break research rules (this is why the “research” made in concentration camps is actually useless, it didn’t respect experimental rules). So I’m really glad for the Arknights writers for understanding these nuances and communicating them to the audience through one of the best stories of the game.

[absolutebl]

2023 UPCOMING BL

Okay, these are all the BLs (I know of) that have been announced for 2023. Not counting stuff currently airing. All of this must be considered SPECULATIVE. Don’t you dare blame me if these don’t happen. You read this post knowing that. Agreed? Please remember:

7 Golden rules of BL!

Never trust:

a Thai trailer,

a Viki Category,

a Vietnamese sub,

an MDL description,

a Taiwanese title,

Japan,

or a BL made before 2014.

FAQ: How long does it usually take from an announcement to getting more info on a BL being made?

Because people have asked I have put the ones I am most excited about in bold. 

Vietnamese & Pinoy BL not chronicled, it's just too challenging. 

Supposedly Jan 2023 

01/29 The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu - Japan for Gag Trailer. Stars Toshiki Seto (Senpai, This Can't Be Love). In 10 days, the world will be destroyed by a meteor. To spend his remaining time as comfortably as possible, bad-luck magnet Masumi decides to visit the library and read as much as he wants until the end comes. There he meets the one man from his past that he never wanted to see again, Ritsu. You should expect this to end badly.

The Luminous Solution - Thai, PTG Entertainment: Stars Gun Napat (Love By Chance/ Golden Blood), Bhu Bhudis (Manner Of Death)

Hit Bite Love - Thai Jinloe Media Works. BONKERS incomprehensible MDL description. 

Nilundon - Thai: Postponed from 2021 to recast one of the leads, never a good sign. Ensemble of 2 BLs + 1 GL, featuring adult characters, cafe, rich/poor. About a freelance photographer and heir to a famed Seoul hotel and restaurant business who, following a family death, returns to Thailand and meets a gregarious young barista. Side romances: producer is head-over-heels in love with her YouTubing bestie, and a veterinarian falls in love with the lead character’s impish cousin.

Time The Series - Thai (trailer), lakorn we think, not strictly BL 

Supposedly Feb 2023

02/10 Egoist - Japan This is about an openly gay but vein and superficial man (Hio) who falls in love with a personal trainer (Ryohei) who is stuck taking care of his sick mother. It’s not BL, it’s gay coming of age and we can’t expect it to end happily. Still, I’ll try to watch it. Japanese movies are notoriously difficult to get ahold of, tho. One of my absolute favorite Japanese actors Hio Miyazawa (from His the movie) has the lead in this movie adaptation of Makoto Takayama’s autobiographical novel Egoist. He’ll be opposite super famous actor Ryohei Suzuki.

02/14 Moments Of Love - Thai (Foremorfilm Production) Trailer Golf Tanwarin (609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) directs SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No).

02/18 Chains of Heart - Thai Trailer Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, memory loss, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Poppy (Porpla in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.

02/27 Tin Tam Jai - Thai (MFlow Entertainment on iQIYI) Tin has always been secretly in love with P'Phak son of the neighborhood baker. Producers behind Ai Long Nhai and Coffee Melody so don't expect much.

Supposedly March 2023

03/09 Love Syndrome (characters from Unforgotten Night) - Thai trailer Day and It have been together for 2 years. An accident leaves Day seriously injured and It blames himself. Then Day wakes up with amnesia. (stars Frank of FrankDrake) based on a y-novel.

JAPAN 2023 

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku - Mira Ori's BLOVED manga (especially be me) is getting an adaptation (HOPEFULLY THIS YEAR)! Lonely salaryman (talented cook) gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his baby brother. They build a family together. This is a sweetly gentle and cozy manga and it will make a GREAT live action piece. I’ve recommended the manga in the past to anyone who likes BLs like Ingredients, To My Star, What Did You Eat Yesterday? and I think we are in for similar gay domesticity to Old Fashion Cupcake with this adaptation YAY!

My Beautiful Man Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare 2 - trailer I’m very nervous, I think this series stands alone and is perfect as it already is. I’m worried Japan is over egging the pudding. More here.

Takumi-kun - No Japan, back away slowly. We do not need this. No one wants it. 

KOREA 2023

Bump Up Business (OnlyOneOf) - (Idol Romance) Announcement  More gossip. Depicts the tickling love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has collectively signed up to be in this idol-based BL. They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You). More info here. 

Blueming 2 - likely to air on iQIYI This was one of my favorites from 2022 year (9/10). I’m not thrilled about a 2nd season. It’s the same director as TMS2, and I didn’t like that one all that much. Still, I’m always intersted in where Korea goes when it’s given enough rope to hang itself.

Comfort the Boy - Premiere postponed indefinitely due to actor contract conflict, rated R15+ due to topic & vulgarity. Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha A Shoulder to Cry On, high school set, features a teasing confident gay, and a rich/poor pairing, about homophobia/gossip putting a scholarship in jeopardy. Was to stars idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from Kpop group OMEGA X. But given the crisis in management with that group, I think this is unlikely to happen, at least with this pair. 

First Love's User Manual - Korea (Silkwood) Thai BL pair TutorYim to star (?) in this KBL under A-Plan International’s Silkwood (Peach Of Time). No further info, no MDL listing. Could all be rumors. 

Heesu In Class 2 -  Korea's gay version of Sex Education. Heesu’s world revolves around Chanyoung, his best friend and secret crush. He doesn’t mind cheering Chanyoung from the sidelines or listening to all his girl problems. Then one day, Heesu starts hearing his name everywhere - on the bus, in the halls, during lunch. Turns out, there’s a rumor: Got a love problem? Find Heesu in Class 2 and he’ll tell you what to do! With that, Heesu suddenly finds himself the center of attention. But how could he give anyone advice? He doesn’t even know what to do about his own crush! Well known child actor Ahn Ji Ho (All of Us Are Dead) to lead.

Jump the series - Korea (SOL Entertainment probably for Gaga) Trailer From the producers of Cherry Blossoms and others. Coming-of-age drama that'jumps' to the next chapters of life: love, friendship, competition, mistakes, dreams and hopes.

Liquor - I got nothing but rumors. 

Star Struck AKA Starstruck - Korea (Terapin Studio) A boy has had a crush on his childhood friend for a long time. Stars Zuho (Kpop SF9 - noted good egg) opposite rookie actor Kim In Sung, based on a web novel of the same name.

Unintentional Love Story - Ceramic artist Yoon Tae Joon disappears from society, while Ji Won Young is an employee at a large company. Ji Won Young is intent on winning over the heart of Yoon Tae Joon as he's the company chairman's favorite artist. Stars actor Cha Seo Wo and idol Gongchan (maknae of B1A4, welcome to the fray Kpop Gen 2).

Why R U? Korean remake - filming sept 22 Apparently Korea is planning a remake of Why R U? which I find absolutely hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then would we have a story at all. No we would not. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags. MaxNat have a  cameo. 

TAIWAN 2023

Lapluie - Depicts the story of two young men: one who never believes in fate/destiny while the other one is waiting for his soulmate.

Marry My Dead Body - Taiwan Police officer forced to marry a ghost. Movie.

Miracle - High School student goes to jail because of his ganster lover. Or something. https://mydramalist.com/696341-miracle

THAILAND 2023

Are you ready? 

2 Worlds (Domundi MaxNat) - Parallel worlds love triangle story with MaxNat as the leads (finally!) PuPa & Kram are in love but PuPa is murdered and Kram is pulled into a parallel world. In that place, 12 years ago, Kram & Tai were in love but Kram was killed by Tai's dad. Now Tai encounters the Kram from another world, what will happen next? Is this a second chance or is Kram sill morning his dead lover, and does Tai need to help him get home or convince him to stay?

A Boss and a Babe GMMTV YouTube (ForceBook) - Chay is a gamer who wants to get big in the e-sports industry. However, his plans are dramatically altered when is made to intern at a company. There his boss Gun has him do some pretty weird errands, confusing Chay about his true intentions. 

Be Mine SuperStar (JaFirst) - Filming started Dec 2022 Third-year film student Punn (Ja) gets an internship on the set of a drama. He’s come there to learn from professionals, but what lights his passion even more than the work is leading man Achi, beloved of the nation. Adapted from the novel “The Superstar and the Puppy on Set” (พี่พระเอกกับเด็กหมาในกอง) by Orpheus, the show has an ensemble cast comprising Ben (2moons2), Bosston (UWMA, Between Us), Jo (War of Y, My Roommate, Make It Right 2), Kokliang and (TharnType, Even Sun).

Be My Favorite AKA You Are My Favorite (GMMTV) YouTube - Adapted from a JittiRain y-novel (2gether) one of those rewrite the past to change the future. Another timeslip? (That’s at least 5 from Thailand in 2022). Trailer features classic tropes: elevator, rooftop assignation, lie on ground. Stars Krist (SOTUS) + Mike Gawin. Who knew Krist would do a BL again? Like seriously? 

Bed Friend (Domundi probably for Viki) - Adapted from a Y-novel (same setting as Middleman’s Love) about Uea (reserved and shy and hates players) and King (a big time flirt) who work in the same office and share a best friend. Despite the fact that they don’t really like each other they end up in bed together. This pair was originally supposed to be just side dishes for Middle Love, but it seems they got their own series. Not sure if this is a lesson learned from Why R U?, a lockdown necessity, a shifting to an En of Love model, or if NetJames did so well in rehearsal they earned their own series. They are crazy beautiful together. I think Domundi will use these two to bring higher heat, just like they did with FighterTutor. This series could be good especially as it is based on a book so hopefully it has PLOT. James was Gui’s best friend in Oxygen and one of my top picks at the time to get his own BL. Net was an established actor prior to BL. I am VERY excited about this pair

Big Dragon 2 - whatever 

Boy Never Smiles (KimCop trailer) - Follows the story of a young man who travels to the future. To return, he must make that boy smile.

Buddy Line Y Animal (Ultimate Troop) From the Yearbook (ugh) people and based on 4 y-novels written by Scriper, I'll only binge this. Stars Man & Tile (Yearbook), Oat (Make it Right), and unknowns.

Cafe In Love - When his coffee shop close, he tries everything to get it to reopen and falls in love along the way. New Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2.

Cherry Magic (Thai remake w/ TayNew) GMMTV YouTube - no one asked for this 

Cinderella Boys (Cloth Lab) - production house brought us Restated (which I never watched) and never got EngSub.

City of Stars AKA Fueangnakorn - An actor falls in love with a programmer and the narrative intends to “explore the ramifications of being public figure in the social network era who must endure critics, bullying, and defamation.” Looks like another Lovely Writer / Call It What You Want sort of thing.

Cooking Crush (OffGun) GMMTV YouTube - Prem, Dynamite, and Samsi run a not-so-popular restaurant. With heavy losses, the trio find out about a cooking competition with a huge reward that could help their business. However, preparations go awry, and Prem decides to back out when he meets Ten, a medical student under a heavy stress burden. Ten approaches prem to teach him cooking, and Prem uses this as a scam opportunity to make money. However, as the lessons go on, it isn’t the food that’s hot, but also their faces as they slowly fall for each other. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S,

Dangerous Romance GMMTV YouTube - Sailom, a poor yet studious student, has worked several odd jobs along with his elder brother to keep his affairs in order. One day, a misunderstanding causes him to hate the school’s bully, Kongkarn. However, fate plays in and Sailom is made Kongkarn’s tutor. As they spend time together, the two realize that the two have a lot in common and their hate could turn into something more beautiful in their hearts. (Wait, didn’t we just watch this?) 

Destiny Seeker - Engineering students in university dorms, Songkram the head of dorm 3, which is where the "strong and athletic" male students are sorted. Aye is the head of dorm 2, the "good looking" male students live. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after both of them were chosen to be dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram, however, he thinks Sonkram has feelings for Mean. What Aye doesn't know, is that he's the one Songkram likes. So, Bad Buddy the second coming. But also v Japanese concept. 

Heart by Heart (Half Toast Production) Trailer 1 Trailer 2 - of the same name, the trailers are GOOD. I’m more excited for this one then I thought I'd be. Has a bit of Tasty Florida, bad boy/good boy, high drama going on. Stars all unknowns but they look like decent actors.

Hidden Agenda (JoongDunk) GMMTV YouTube - Zo, a college freshman whose never been in love, decides to change it by making the college’s popular girl Nita as his girlfriend. However, to woo her, he approaches Joke, Nita’s ex, for dating advice. What he fails to realize is that Joke has had his eyes on him for a long time and uses this opportunity to approach Zo. Will Joke succeed?

Hot Bamee and Yummy Gyogung (9Cats Studio) - stars Nutt Witsarut (Daisy from SCOY) as Gyogung & Boat Yongyut (Tim from My Secret Love) as Bamee.

House of Stars Trailer - an LGBTQ actor falls in love with an actor from another company at first sight.

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Dee Hup for WeTV) - This is a time travel historical romance (1920s) adaption of y-novel by Violet Rain . FROM THAILAND! H I S T O R I C A L ! ! ! Heartbroken architect is transported to the 1930s. Movie from the producers of Lovely Writer.

Last Twilight (JimmySea) GMMTV YouTube - Burdened with heavy debt, Mork, a mechanic, is forced to take a high paying job as a caretaker for Day, a rich heir who suffers from partial blindness after an accident. Day recruits Mork as he realizes the latter does not see him as a disabled person, but rather as co-equals. As they spend time together, the two begin developing feelings for the other. However with Day just having 180 days until he becomes permanently blind, how will the two weather the trials ahead?

Lost in the Woods - Fifa, a high school student preparing to enter university, is given the duty of taking care of his grandma in the province before the school year starts. There he meets Chief Hem, a forest ranger.

Love Upon a Time - (Domundi)  NetJames in a historical BL! Also feat Tonnam (Dr Sing from Triage).

Middleman’s Love AKA Middle Love (Domundi for Viki) - Production started. This used to be a JimmyTommy vehicle before the pair split (also prev title Middle Love). Adapted from a Y-novel. Jade works as a graphic designer and has always been stuck in the middle - average. His heart is hardened after a life spent being overlooked because he is not as charming or good looking as the rest of his family or friends. When his office gets a hot new intern, Mai, Jade assumes Mai couldn’t possibly be intersted in him. Instead he believes Mai is after his friend, Uea. Mai, of course, has other ideas. To be directed by Cheewin leads recast as TutorYim (crumbs from Cutie Pie) we likey, good choice.

Make a Wish (WaGa Creative) - Started filming 12/22, stars Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. It seems to be a light-hearted romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish. He is shocked to find the doctor can actually see him and decides to help him find the reason for his ghostly ability. Thus begins a chaotic yet romantic journey. From Sammon y-novels (Manner of Death, Triage)

Mystique in the Mirror (gossip here) - Side couple is PitchBank from Golden Blood, authored by Dr. Dr.Patrick Rangsimat (My Ride) interview here 

Naughty Babe (Domundi MaxNat gossip here) - Cutie Pie spin off feat MaxNat. 

The Next Prince (Domundi ZeeNunew) - ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - FUCK YES PLEASE. I did not expect this pair to stick so I really hope this happens.

Only Friends GMMTV YouTube - Friend Zone but Gay AF. Mew, a final-year university student, has never encountered the pleasures of adult life. One day, his friend Boston takes him clubbing to give him a sight of the nightlife. There, he meets Top, who tries to seduce him. Yet reluctant at first, Mew gives in and falls for Top. However, he doesn’t realize that others want to break their relationship.

Our Skyy 2 GMMTV YouTube - An eight-part anthology that continues the stories of favorite GMMTV couples: Tian & Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars); Pran & Pat (Bad Buddy); Khabkluen & Daonuea (Star in My Mind); Nuengdiao & Palm (Never Let Me Go); Chay & Gun (A Boss and a Babe); Talay & Puen (Vice Versa); Akk & Ayan (The Eclipse); Tin & Gun (My School President)

Pit Babe - Based on alittlebixth's omegaverse novel #พิษเบ๊บ’ set in the world of car racing (author confirmed the series will not be omegaverse).

Punk Spy - (Domundi) - Tommy (formerly JimmyTommy) to star opposite Thomas Teetut (new talent) We gonna call them TomTom as I live and breathe! Please people. Please? Small town romance of two men who keep secrets. And they are searching for the truth. Poppy (everyone’s favorite comedic character actor) is in this one too.

SHADOW - It is a teenage-detective series that involves the supernatural, psychology, love, and friendship. Depicts Dan (Singto), the new student in an all-boys Catholic school who's suffering from sleep paralysis where he saw shadows in his dream, & Nine (Fluke), a student who's condemned by his seniors for being gay. Despite Dan being seen by the other students as a freak. Nine fully understood him because he's been dealing with seeing spirits since childhood. The two became close and gossip circulated between them. Dan chooses to be his friend even if Nine falls in love with him. An interesting combination for actors for sure. 

Step By Step (Dee Hup) - age gap office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate (AKA my catnip) Thailand doesn't have a great track record with office set BL. Thailand’s record with office set BL is terrible. But I LOVE the concept.

Wish Me Luck (Be Brave Entertainment Hub) - About a boss and his temporary employee in an advertising company, based on Bittersweet's y-novel of the same name สุดที่รักษ์. Starring my boy Fiat (Grean Fictions, SOTUS S, My Gear and Your Gown, Triage) who I’ve been waiting to lead a BL for a decade (it feels like) and Na Naphat (KinnPorsche, UWMA). Again, office BL, but gah PLEASE be good. 

Wish You Luck (StudioCommuan) - Sci Fi dystopian BL about a luck-stealer and an optimistic innocent. Stars Tonnam (Dr Sing in Triage) and Title (our beloved baby Nut from the Yearbook) in a tsundere/sunsine survivor story.

This list is updated only at the beginning of 2023. Not responsible for keeping it updated. I make no promises on anything on these list. Check the comments for updates.

One final note? 

23.5 (GL feat MilkLove) GMMTV For YT 

Ongsa, a loner all her life, falls in love at first sight with the more popular Sun. However, with the fear of being rejected, she decides to approach her under the pseudonym “Earth”. As Sun gets more and more curious about who Earth is and starts to fall for her, will Ongsa reveal herself to Sun? BL side couple. 

(source)

This post will NOT be kept up to date. As new BLs are announced and come across my radar, I will repost about them in this blog. You have to follow me to get those. I also report on new and upcoming releases once they are confirmed in my weekly updates. 

[thothxv]

I really don't want to talk about the present AO3 controversy (I have opinions, I think anyone paying attention does, but I'm so. Very. Tired. And the internet chews up tired people with opinions and spits them out for fun. So that's not happening).

HOWEVER!

I see many people out there championing Squidgeworld as an alternative to AO3. If you don't like AO3's staff or leadership and want to go somewhere else, this is actually pretty reasonable. The Squidge folks have been doing this a long time, they know what they're doing. They are a smaller team, hosting on smaller infrastructure (a dog knocked over their server once, apparently), but they seem up to the task of running an archive.

However. I also see people talking how Squidgeworld's policies are better than AO3 in various regards. And I want to address this because it's... mostly wrong. There are some differences in the TOSes, but for most of you they will be the same.

First thing, top of the list: Squidge's TOS is much smaller and vaguer than AO3's. A whole ton of rules around tagging in the TOS are just... not there. There's a bunch of information in AO3's TOS about how complaints are treated, that's all gone, any specificity about how Squidgeworld defines what they do or do not consider acceptable behavior is just... not there. In their place, we have Wheaton's Law: "Don't be a Dick". You might thing that covers it all, but a good TOS that makes it clear what is and is not allowed gives a lot of piece of mind. Nothing is worse than waking up to see that you've been given the boot because you and the mods disagreed about what the TOS meant. It sucks, you don't want that. It probably won't happen to most people, especially if you're not an asshole, but it is a thing.

The next thing in the TOS is the CSEM clause (the technical term for most of what people refer to as child pornography), and this is what I heard a lot of people talking about. I have heard people say that Squidge "actually bans child porn". However, the only difference between AO3 and Squidge's policies on CSEM (which is, to be clear, they they do not permit it) The only difference is this line: "This includes anything deemed pro-child sex or child-sex advocacy symbols." The thing is, that's subjective. A fic that involves this kind of content is not necessarily pro-child sex. Yes, even if it's RPF. And no, RPF is not CSAM. Nor is RPF CSEM, which is a broader umbrella term. At least, not under US law or US definitions, which is what both AO3 and Squidge operate under. I have done my best to get the official definitions for these things: RPF isn't covered. This has nothing to do with my opinions on RPF, it's just fact. In short, if you're upset at AO3 for not banning sexually explicit RPF containing real-life minors, Squidgeworld doesn't ban that either. Whether or not it takes down a fic with that kind of content in it is basically down moderation staff opinion on whether it might be advocating for child sex.

Now here's the juicy stuff. Squidgeworld prohibits links to any kind of fundraising... except in the case of original work. So, if you are a writer who posts original work to fic archives and wants to link your Patreon... you can do that on Squidgeworld. Just don't do it on fanfics. Or in the comments or in your profile. Standard AO3 rules everywhere else. Honestly, unless squidgeworld takes off on a scale that is frankly unlikely, this probably won't matter, but for some of you, this is a good thing, and it's worth bringing up.

Squidgeworld, unlike AO3, does not allow AI-generated fanworks. Now, I'm sure a lot of you are very happy, but this does actually present some problems: Specifically, you can't always tell AI generated and human work apart. Sure, a lot of the time it's pretty easy, but you can mask it, and sometimes the output could be confused for real writing. More importantly, real people's writing could be confused for AI writing. I could easily see fic authors being attacked with accusations that their work is AI generated, or co-written with an AI. I don't know if that will happen, but... well, some people are assholes, and fan communities are often drama-laden. It could happen.

Squidgeworld prohibits web scraping for the purpose of use with AI. AO3 basically has the same policy, and they've taken more technical measures to prevent it now that we're aware it's a thing that happens (the first time AO3 was scraped was pre-ChatGPT, people just weren't paying attention to this stuff. I imagine squidgeworld takes similar anti-scraping technical measures, although I don't know for sure). I think people don't think AO3 does this because in the post where they explained this they also said they allowed AI-generated fics, and they went on to say that they couldn't make it impossible for someone to scrape the site and feed that into a machine learning model. That's something Squidgeworld can't do either: if you really want a website scraped, that website can be scraped. This is why AO3 went on to say that archive-locking your work would make it less likely for scrapers to catch it, and that you could do that if you were concerned.

So yeah. I think broadly that these policies shake out mostly the same as they do on AO3 in terms of content. There's more vagueness and subjectivity and more things that malicious users could potentially abuse to waste staff time and attack other users, but... well, you can always submit false reports. That's a problem on AO3 too. Same as it ever was. And hey, at least there won't be any blatantly AI-generated fics over on squidgeworld. Mind, I haven't seen any in any of my fandoms anyways...

[racefortheironthrone]

Thoughts on generative AI or AI in general? Especially its impact on history, economics, politics, and society at large? Huge topic obviously but would love your perspective.

I consider "generative AI" (to the extent thatterm is even accurate) to be kind of bullshit.

I've already written about the fundamental commercial problems that AI suffers from. I think this will severely limit the actual value of "generative AI" to the vast majority of people. A lot of these yahoos trying to gold rush what they think is the next revolution by spamming magazine submissions and the like are going to find that they've wasted their time.

When it comes to the personal use issue, I find it a bit concerning from the position of personal development. This may make me sound a bit like Grandpa SImpson yelling at clouds, but it is noticeable that a lot of people seem to be using generative AI either to outright cheat (doing their homework, plagiarizing essays, taking remote exams for them) or otherwise get out of having to do the heavy lifting of intellectual labor - and that's a problem, because practice is the main way our brains learn, so I do worry that there are going to be a lot of people wh'll gradually eliminate their own ability to actually do important forms of intellectual labor without the crutch of a computer program doing the work for them. Again, it's a bit of a kneejerk "hard work is good for you"/"back in my day" reaction, but as someone who's had to teach remedial essay-writing for more than a decade because the high schools have stopped teaching this stuff, I do think it matters.

I also find it a bit concerning on another level, because what AI researchers seem to be automating isn't the boring busywork of modern life that should be automated out of existence, but the creative work that people tend to find compelling and rewarding. When I read about D&D players using ChatGP to write an adventure for them or DM for them and the like, it makes me sad, because that's the stuff I do for fun and I don't get the idea of wanting a machine to do the fun stuff for them because it's less work.

And then finally there's the issue of ego and ownership. One of the things I've noticed time and again in discussions of AI on various discussion threads and social media sites is that people often develop a largely-unearned sense of ownership and accomplishment over the products of generative AI: over and over again, I see people say "look at what I wrote" or "look at what I painted" when all they did was enter a prompt and let something else do the actual creative work. (Even as they often admit that they used AI because they couldn't be bothered to muster the effort to learn how to do it themselves or because they're too cheap to pay working writers and artists a fair rate for their labor.)I find that attitude a bit insulting to actual writers and artists and more than a bit pathetic.

[songoftrillium]

I Am Mundus Artis (it/she)

The term is roughly translated to 'Art of the World'. I am a mixed media artist based out of the Pacific Northwest. I write World of Darkness stuff on Storytellers Vault, and occasionally publish short form science fiction on Medium. I paint with watercolors and make many of my own paints using found objects. I also engage in film photography and heavily favor urbex and Chiaroscuro portraiture. I enjoy taking the core elements of a subject and reorganizing them into representational surrealism, also known as biomorphism.

I am an unapologetic lover of nature and especially mushrooms, moss, and especially wolves.

I block most AI image creators and apologists on sight. If I accidentally reblog AI-generated content, please let me know.

I am a disabled, demisexual, transgender butch lesbian elder, and I have opinions. I generally don't consider this blog friendly to minors, and I tend to block on sight, though I mostly keep my lesbian shitposting here (NSFW). I stand with Palestine, but also do not condone antisemitism in any form. I believe Black Lives Matter, and support Landback efforts, along with the ideals of decolonization. Sex Work is Work. This blog holds space for marginalized voices from all walks.

In addition, I am a part of numerous fandoms, and you can expect to see liberal reblogs of Dark Crystal, Good Omens and Our Flag Means Death content.

I am an avid fan of the World of Darkness, especially Werewolf: the Apocalypse and am a Storyteller of over 25 years experience. You'll see frequent posting covering the topic of Werewolves in general on this blog. I'm an aggregator of Useful Shit for Storytellers and My Ask Box Is Open for those seeking world-building advice or ST tips.

In fact:

I believe Werewolf is an Inherently Queer Medium

I am also trying to hold the World of Darkness to higher standards of inclusivity

I'm the project director behind Werewolf: the Essentials, which aims to bring queer inclusivity to the horror tabletop. Book 1: Cliath comes out next Halloween, and you can follow the Official Blog here.

[rottenbrainstuff]

You know I’m seeing a lot of panic from artists about advancing AI capabilities…

It’s shitty for sure, not good at all, but you know, this is just really cementing in my brain that we all really need to get away from viewing art as a consumable finished product, an image containing pleasing things to look at that we view and scroll past. Artists and audience both.

I’d love to see a push for artists to share more of the thought process, more of the rational for why they made stylistic or narrative choices, to talk more about their art, to open a conversation with the audience, to think about what that conversation looks like and why. I’d love to see artists start to experiment, be more creative than just single flat digital images, I’d love to see artists experiment with sequential art, with physical mediums, with interactive formats. I’d desperately love to see artists especially get creative with style, get weird, get unusual.

And I want to see audiences challenge themselves to engage in stuff like that. Ask artists about their thoughts and their process. Ask them about alternate sketches that they made. Get to know artists’ portfolios and view their body of work as a whole. Open up the conversation, value it, see it as essential, see art as more than just pretty pictures on your feeds that you consume and scroll past. Challenge yourself to get interested in physical art! Go out and see things in galleries! Attend opening nights! You’d be surprised what’s out there, and how many galleries have no admission. Challenge yourself to consider the merits of art that looks different.

Basically… like… it’s making me do a lot of thinking, just like when I talked to a teacher about the prevalence of using AI to write papers in post secondary: it’s going to be quite hard to stop that now that the tool is so widely available and so hard to detect. Instead, maybe we need to think about what kind of work we’re making the students do, what kind of assignments, how are we grading and testing it, what is the human element that is actually important if a stupid AI can spit out a stupid paper?

I think it’s similar with art. Look, we can’t really stop it. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t also use glaze and nightshade and whatever and speak out against it… we should…. what I mean is, in addition to that, I think we really really need to start thinking about what is the human element that AI can’t reproduce? What do you bring to art that a machine can’t do? Why do we even need artists if a machine can quickly and cheaply spit out a shitty graphic? Is the only thing valuable about art that singular final aesthetically pleasing image? What else is valuable? Explore that, investigate that, promote that, ask for that, require that.

I honestly think it’s a bit exciting. It’s a shit situation but I can see the possibility for something extremely positive to come from it. AI art is shit, one of the shittiest trends I’ve seen, makes me angry and depressed. But I think we could take it and do something so exciting with it, really think about what makes art valuable and why, really shift our thinking all around. I think we need to try.

[pansear-doodles]

Anthro AU FAQ (Under construction)

What's the Rain World Anthro AU? An AU created out of fun where the sapient denizens of Rain World (Iterators, Slugcats, Scavengers...) are given anthropomorphic proportions and distinct clothing, more prominent personalities and facial expressions, and a modern-ish setting.

Its not meant to be taken TOO seriously and its meant for dumb fun. Almost all characters are alive in this AU (Yes, this includes Artificer's pups) and all the playable slugcats meet each other and get to be a friend group! There are also less threats such as Five Pebbles and Hunter being cured from the rot (...not really!). Everyone is just having a good time overall.

There are sub-AUs where some characters are not alive and are not having a good time, but the main one is the happiest possible.

Keep Reading to see more questions

Does stuff like the karma system, rain, cycles, echoes, and other in-game stuff exist still in this AU? Yes but the bleak/harsh aspects of them are toned down in the main AU. There's also some changes for how the karma system works.

The characters claim they experienced death, but how come they're still alive? How does death function in this AU and why do scars remain? Cartoon logic. They just wake up in a new body in the last shelter they slept in (or somewhere else if unlucky) and proceed as normal. They do experience every pain of that death, and the dead body is usually eaten before the alive one can see it. As for scars, its trauma-dependent. Emotionally charged scars overall leave one an impact.

What creatures of Rain World are considered non-sapient/still creatures in this AU? Typical enemies that's not in the same scale as Scavenger AI, creatures that don't have a sort of community/tribal system, etc. Lizards, centipedes, and vultures continue to be a threat in this world (and they can become pets).

How do the iterators work in this AU? How come I can see them walking around? They still experienced many events from the game, but since in this universe with high communication leveled sapient slugcats (who are far more sympathetic compared to the Ancients) and other adjustments, they're given a bit more freedom and empathy. The iterator puppets themselves can still walk around the vicinity of their can, but they would require a backpack with neurons and water if the puppet were to travel outside. I still have so much to research about the complexity of the iterators, but for now...

How do the slugcats travel fast? They got used to their environment and are familiar with the paths they take. Especially with having less threats in the world (especially with a more forgiving rain cycle), they're given more freedom to roam with less of a hassle.

How modern are we talking? The current IRL times. Combine that with some of Rain World's unique aspects and you got it. So you can have a scavenger wear a fleece sweater while listening to lo-fi, Lol.

Can I directly ask the characters? Only in special occasions! Follow me to stay tuned for when their inboxes get opened.

Can I make fanart for this AU? Yes! Absolutely! I love seeing fanart! No need to ask me unless you require specifications on my portrayal of the characters. Just don't portray the characters in a negative way please (not to be confused with angst- I'm talking about hate art and all that.)

Can I make sub-AUs/my own interpretations/my own versions/my own clothing/my own projections and headcanons? Sure! Don't be restricted with some rules, just as long as you're having fun. You don't even need to ask permission from me first unless its something big and can affect my end. Maybe it can be its own completely different AU! Possibilities are endless.

Can I redraw a comic/scene? Sure! Just credit me when its done and up on the public. :] Anyone can freely line and color my sketchy comics.

Can I borrow/be inspired from the ideas? Yes of course! Have fun.

What are some other headcanons/original ideas/community-made things placed on the main AU? The following: -Artificer X Hunter -Personalized Iterator designs that are not seen in-game for the local group such as Chasing Wind and Unparalleled Innocence -Rainworld Drought -Some of my Rainworld OCs (Cameos and incidentals only) -Iterators associated with specific Slugcats are referred as parental figures (exception to Five Pebbles and Artificer(landlord) ; Saint and Sliver of Straw are associated (mentee and mentor). -All of the slugcats use any pronoun (usually they/them) and are ambiguously gendered (or have no gender)

[brasideios]

I really should stop paying attention to the AI stuff but this is seriously getting to me; so much so that I’m considering quitting writing altogether.

I’ve been digging into my thoughts about this lately and I wanted to break it down a little here; to explain to myself, as well as you poor souls who engage with my bullshit, why I think AI fundamentally sucks and why I’m struggling to find a way to share my work anymore.

It begins with the fact that I strongly dislike the entire concept of traditional publishing.

In a nutshell, publishing houses get to decide what you, the consumer, will read, always based on what will be popular and make them the most money. They have the power to decide what you can’t read, what you shouldn’t read.

How many excellent stories have never been published because they weren’t riding the zeitgeist?

Millions. Millions.

And let’s not get into the ridiculously low percentage of income an author makes from a book published by a traditional publisher. Holy shit, it’s appalling.

Even as an indie author I earn about 32c for every $12USD sale of an ebook at best, and it is much, much worse through a publishing house.

Anyway. I digress.

In my opinion, all stories have a place, a meaning for the people who are listening for them, which is why finding the fanfiction world was so amazing to me.

Every voice here has an equal chance of being heard, and equally, we all have a chance to find the story we’ve been looking for. No one can stop you from publishing whatever it is you feel compelled to say. Whatever it is that drives and moves you.

It was honestly a relief to find stories without perfect prose and grammar getting the love they rightly deserve. Stories with silly or fun premises, LGBTQ+ people taking centre stage or - *insert thing that the publishing world would never publish here* - because it makes people ‘happy’ (whatever emotional form that takes) - both to write and to read.

But that well is poisoned by the people cashing in on that work via AI scraping, making unknowing slaves of creative people - pouring their love and time into a piece of writing only to have it stolen.

And in their own way, people using AI to make stories are just as bad. They too want to take advantage of the labour of others to get some buzz of dopamine from kudos/likes or whatever, which is completely unearned and undeserved.

I’m just going to mention here, while I’m on the subject - if you’re one of those wretches feeding other people’s unfinished fics to the AI to get an ending - I hate you so much there aren’t words. You are actually the worst. I hope none of my followers would do this - but if you do, check yourself.

Moving on…

The thing is, I just can’t understand how writers especially (and not just fic writers) can’t see that AI rips out the heart of storytelling.

Writing as a process is entirely personal; it comes from inside the self. At least in my experience, the process is more important than the end result. The discovery and exploration of themes and emotions entirely your own is only to be found in the process; it can’t be replicated by a computer spitting out strings of words others wrote.

It just can’t.

And I’m just going to say this now - if you, as a writer, don’t think this is important at all - if you don’t think that coming up with ideas and developing them yourself is literally what writing is - then I honestly don’t know what you’re doing, but it isn’t writing.

Anyway (again).

Where in all of this is there a place for a writer who doesn’t want their stories to be grist for the mill, to be regurgitated in some altered, souless form and sold off as if it was someone else’s?

Who’s sick to death of putting money in some other son of a bitches pocket, while they do the work out of love and passion?

I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore.

As it stands, we are powerless to stop any of this unless we simply stop writing, or sharing that writing. That’s a miserable acknowledgment to have to make for someone who quite literally just wants to write and share those stories with others without them being stolen.

It shouldn’t be a lot to ask.

[ferretwhomst]

hello i would like to hear more about your gman headcanons?

did u also know that you are so so cool and amazing

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SKDSJA YOURE SO SWEET

okok so gman. my favorite blorbo, that yoinky sploinky of All Time, the scrunklo spingly. here we go!!!!!

i like to think he's supposed to be like, all-knowing in terms of humanity, which adds to his whole omnipotent god thing. but ... obviously this only really extends to the hl universe and a full understanding of modern pop-culture or even just!!! modern culture was never programmed into his ai (which is pretty obvious considering the game is from 1998 and the events of hl take place during like. early 2000s? but still). so he can explain to you the biological make up of any alien from xen but he doesn't know how to pronounce meme sfdmjkdjsa

in fact, when tommy chose the last name coolatta for both of them he probably didn't know that it wasn't an actual human surname for the longest time and didn't understand why it always got him and tommy weird glances from people. only when tommy orders a coolatta the next time they're at a dunkin' donuts does gman Realize lmao

he's probably the sort of guy to dramatically read books by candlelight during a thunderstorm at night but he's actually reading nerdy little fantasy novels and fairy tales because he absolutely adores how humans imagine otherworldly intelligent life forms. he also probably likes studying human psychology; he may know a lot about humans due to his programming but he likes truly Understanding how their lil brains work. that's something which he was never required to know, but he always wanted to learn- and now he finally has a chance to :)

i feel like once gman detaches himself from the idea of his employers holding him back, he feels so much more comfortable just doing Person Things. like he gets to remind himself that he IS a person and not just someone's subordinate. after awhile he decides one of his favorite People Things is cooking (autism be damned my boy can GRILL!!!!!!), especially for other people.

and not unlike tommy, he also likes engaging in more "childish" activities like fingerpainting and coloring pages and legos n stuff. he finds it relaxing :) and besides he likes finding excuses to spend time with tommy

anyways um i think abt him a lot. if you couldn't tell SDFHKCKSA

bonus doodle below because.... my beloveds. Ignore tommys legs they look silly ik/lhj

also thank you for sending in an ask in the first place !!!!!! im so glad to meet another gman enjoyer out in the wild. he is just so silly and not enough people talk about it </////////3

[carefreejules]

OK not to toot my own horn or anything based on what I just reblogged, but if this is true, which is skeptical since it's very much framed as an opinion piece, but if AI is following that trajectory of generating less and less interest, then I fucking knew it

I remember discussing this with my sisters, I was on the side of "I think this is just another example of people hyping up a shiny new thing but people are going to get bored of it eventually and move on to the next shiny new thing" especially since, when you consider how 'accessible' all these AI tools are, the output of stuff is going to be alarmingly overwhelming, meaning that people are going to be much more selective in what they're going to focus on. Sure, you can tell your ~fancy~ AI machine to output this beautifully rendered art piece by plugging in pretty words and prompts, which is really just an amalgamation of existing work created by genuine artists, but how are you going to sustain yourself by doing that when there's so many others who can do the exact thing? How long can you grab people's attention through soulless, thoughtless art? I think once that realization hits, then of course people are going to quickly lose interest, because it's not as lucrative as they thought it was going to be because surprise surprise, people don't just want to consume stuff that has no heart, and they're up against a bunch of other people who want to cash in on this trend. And perhaps there is some bias because I am an artist myself, but I can't imagine ever turning to these tools because I don't how anyone can find that process fulfilling.

I know that probably makes me sound like an optimist, and I'm aware that there's still a vast chunk of folks who don't respect artists, most of which are probably these same people who want to profit off of our hard work, but it does at least give me hope that the majority do care about artists, writers, musicians, etc because at the end of the day, we all start from somewhere, and you can't use other people's hard work as your stepping stone or shortcut.

Yes we live in a capitalist society, blah blah blah, but for the love of god, stop taking advantage of us for your own profit. We're not gatekeeping art, writing, music, etc, we just want you to respect our trade and integrity.

[marshallpupfan]

It's time to talk about another big Photoshop editing tale!

Anyone remember this image? I believe it was posted by the official PAW Patrol Twitter account back in March of 2021. It's pretty cute! Of course, being a Marshall fan, it's no surprise I found the Dalmatian's pose especially adorable! And considering my penchant for creating transparent PNGs out of stuff like this, naturally I wanted to add it to my collection!

Unfortunately, I can only really do that if the image is big, and as you can see, he's really small here. His portion of the image is about 200x200, and for comparison, the screenshots I use for my daily Marshall pics are all 1920x1080.

Furthermore, when something like this is so small, a lot of the detail is lost, not to mention tiny PNG's simply aren't very useful. As such, I kept hoping and waiting for a bigger version to appear one day.

Cut to over a year later, and no such luck... well, kinda.

The thing is, this particular image of Chase, Marshall, Rubble and Skye has been used elsewhere, such as on products, magazines, etc., but the image is usually smaller than the one I found on Twitter, so it's just not much help. Thankfully, I finally found something that was... a little bigger, at least.

This image is 2300x2300. Marshall, himself is around 400x400, so while that's still small, it's at least nearly twice the size of the one on Twitter. I decided to try and make a transparent PNG out of it, thinking it might work if I use a tool I found online.

You see, not too long ago, I discovered something called "AI Upscaling". Basically, it can take a small image, rework it, and make a bigger version that actually looks pretty good! Well, sometimes. It's pretty dodgy, but I have tried it on a few of my smaller PNGs, and the results were pretty good!

AI upscaling, however, only really works well when the image quality is great. That 2300x2300 picture I found... wasn't. As such, when it got upscaled, parts were iffy and simply didn't turn out great.

To make matters worse, the light-colored background ended up blurring together with Marshall's white fur, thus I had to pretty much guess where one began and the other ended. But I continued on, hoping it'd work out. In the end, the results weren't good, but I figured it was the best I was going to get.

Thankfully, while searching around the net a few days ago, I found another image that helped me out quite a bit!

I have no idea what most of this says, but my new pal, Sagrotan, just-so-happened to upload an ad of their product that has Marshall in the pose I've been looking for! He's roughly 450x850, and though it's not complete, I can still use it!

Going back into Photoshop, I AI upscaled, rotated and resized Sagrotan's image to match what I had, removed the background, and tried aligning it up with my previous image as close as possible so I could use it to fill in the missing parts (such as the right front leg and paw, portions of his back, tail, etc.). It wasn't easy, especially since the colors didn't exactly match, not to mention some details (like the shadows on his helmet) got lost during the AI upscaling. But after some time and effort in Photoshop...

This is the result! It's 760x680, and though it's not perfect, I'm actually quite happy with it! It took over a year, but I finally got a transparent PNG of Marshall in this adorable pose! 😃

Now... I just hope I don't have to do something like this again for a while. For the time being, I'm sticking with bigger, complete images to make transparent PNGs out of. lol