#like at the end of the day it's q's decision and if he thinks this is better for his game then go for it (is it tho? lol)

[vonlipvig]

finally watching survivor and man, y'know i've always said that the person who wins the reward can pick whoever they want to share it with, and if it's a decision to better their own game then that's it and you gotta suck it up.

but MAN that was cold as hell. strategy or not, i don't think i could have not picked liz. oof.

[trashfangirlsworld]

Hello! I've been inactive due to the current events in the mcyt community, but I've been keeping up with the qsmp admin situation and I thought I'd share some opinions because the amount of doomposting I've seen the last few weeks has been more than I've seen in any fandom in a while and I feel like it's reached the point where people really need to chill the fuck out because they're not thinking straight and actively not helping. Everything I'm gonna say is based on stuff I've seen on both tumblr and twitter.

they should not promote/release merch! : one of the things that baffles me the most tbh; how do you expect any employee to be payed then? Merch is so far the only big source of income for the server besides q's own cc salary or whatever income they get through the official qsmp channel on twitch and youtube (which I don't think is a lot). "I get that they said they have no funds, but still it doesn't feel right"... sorry but at this point I don't know what to tell you, do you expect them to pull money out of their asses? You can't demand that they stop making merch and then complain that they can't afford the twitter admins at the same time. If you don't feel comfortable buying anything from them it's fine obviously, but if your reason for it is that you're helping the admins then I have bad news for you. I have seen people propose that quackity sets up a patreon, and while I think it would be a good idea, I understand why he's not doing it, since with the merch he can at least give something back to the people that choose to support his project instead of people just giving him money for free, especially with what's happening now. Also with how much hate he's been receiving simply for the merch I can't imagine that a patreon would be recieved well.

we don't know if the money is going to the admins/ they should not use pomme's likeness! : the money is definitely going to go to the employees and admins because otherwise the server would not last. And as much as I understand people feeling protective over pomme's admin, quackity studios is very much allowed to sell merch of the character because it is not the likeness of the admin, it's a minecraft model made by the people that work there. Would you have rathered they skip her character entirely? Do you really think that would have been okay?. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen posts and tweets saying that pomme's admin has been confirmed to come back with the other eggs whenever it happens by pierre, who talked with her admin.

the admins of the update accounts got fired, it means they want to fire everyone, they aren't making things better! : it sucks that the updates accounts had to end and I feel bad for every twitter admin that clearly cared a lot about the project, but unfortunately it had to happen if there simply isn't enough money to pay them adequately like they deserved and ultimately the update accounts were not essential to keep the project going, so it makes sense that they were let go unfortunately. This is not gonna be the case for the egg admins because if they got fired (which they didn't), the server would basically end. Just because a cc does not know when they will be back does not mean it's not gonna happen. Just because tubbo randomly said that he's not sure if they will be back does not mean they were fired; tubbo is normally not a reliable source of information, even less so when he's been live nonstop for the past 20 days, which is prior to everything happening. If you genuinely didn't expect a reduction in non essential staff considering everything, then you have unreasonable expectations on how this stuff goes. As I write this, I'm seeing people saying that "they would understand this decision if q had set up a patreon to pay the admins", and once again I don't understand how people don't realize why quackity might not be keen on the idea of having his fans pay his own employees for his own project instead of, you know, doing it himself; and, again, do not fool yourself into thinking it would be recieved well. That being said, it's fair to criticize how everything was communicated to the admins, but I'll get to this in more detail later.

quackity should not have uninstalled social media, he's trying to avoid everything! : he's not avoiding anything, he's been off social media for a while now, which is why it took him that long to remove wilbur from the server. He has every right to not want to look at social media, as his focus should be on restructuring his server instead of doomscrolling on twitter because people think he needs to see how much people dislike him. The only people that he should talk to are those that have important information to tell him, like josè with the document. He explicitly said on stream where to contact him if you have helpful information and I'm sure that despite multiple well liked posts saying not to spam his email, people are definitely doing it anyway, which is probably gonna slow the whole thing down even more. I hope josè's document is able to be seen with pierre's help as well.

quackity studios is not communicating with their employees and leaving them in the dark and that's not okay : I agree with this. i think a huge chunk of doomposting lately has been due the lack of communication not with the audience, but with the admins, and they deserve to know what is happening behind the scenes more then us since this is about their current or future job.... that being said, I do kind of understand why they're being so secretive and shutting everyone out, and that's due to all the "leaks" that have been spread online. I understand the anger but I really wish some people would realize that discussing leaked bts lore stuff in ccs discord servers does not help the situation at all and instead makes it seem like they're only doing this to rile up the fandom against quackity studios by using the lore of people's fav characters.

At the end of the day, I think people just aren't used to dealing with a situation that does not have a clear cut solution and someone to clearly hate, so the result is this doomposting and the over aggressiveness toward anything related to the project. Personally, I haven't witnessed anything that made me lose faith in the qsmp like some people have been saying, as every change that we've seen so far coincides with what quackity said on stream a while ago. I only wish things were communicated properly to the admins clearly, as they're the ones most affected, so I hope that's resolved soon. Ultimately quackity is singlehandedly restructuring the server from basically zero, has had to fire people that were misusing money and power and, depending on what josè's document said, is probably gonna have to fire some more. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, you're not gonna hear about sunshine and rainbows for a while and doomposting about everything you hear because you expected quick change is useless. Think before you speak, have a clear head and most importantly have empathy.

[hughes86-43]

You coming in from a late night at work to find Quinn hughes asleep on the couch, as he was trying to wait up for you

Waiting Up | Q. Hughes

warnings - none!

love this idea, thanks for requesting!

You just walked in through front doors of yours and Quinn’s apartment when you spotted him on the couch. He was underneath one of your big, cozy blankets fast asleep, and the tv was on in the background filling the silence. He must’ve been waiting up on you to get home.

Usually you’re the one waiting up on him to get home from either practice or games that you couldn’t make it to. Today, however, you had to stay over a bit at work at your marketing job since you have a big proposal coming at the end of the week and had paperwork piled up.

Not wanting to wake Quinn up just yet, you walk into your guys’ shared bedroom to change out of your work clothes and into comfy pajamas and throwing one of Quinn’s hoodies over it. After that, you make your way into the shared bathroom to wash your face to get rid of your makeup from the day.

Walking back into the living room, you take another moment to look at your gorgeous boyfriend who is still sleeping peacefully. Deciding now is a good time to wake him up as you were getting hungry for dinner, you walk over to him and bend down so you’re eye level with him. You lay your hand on his cheek, rubbing circles with your thumb over it. “Quinn baby, I’m home.”

Upon hearing your voice and feeling your touch, he opens his eyes. With a faint smile he says, “Hi baby, I tried waiting up on you but I guess I fell asleep, so happy to see you.”

“I’m happy to see you too, now scoot over, I wanna lay down under the covers too!” Quinn laughs but waits not a second more to pull you under the covers with him. He just got back into town yesterday from a roadie, so he has missed you so much, and you have equally missed him the same amount. You were upset that you had to work late, but now you have time to enjoy moments with your sweet boyfriend.

“How was work anyway? I know you said it was a bit stressful, but did it let up any today?” He say while intertwining your hands together.

“It was better today than it has been, but what can you do when you have a major proposal coming up. During our lunch break though, we all went to that taco place in town that has those birria tacos that you like, and now I have my coworkers obsessed with them,” You say with a smile on your face.

“Hey! Those tacos are the best, everybody needs to know about those!”

“You’re right,” you say laughing. “I’m glad you’re home, it makes coming home from work better.”

“I’m glad I’m home too, just hate that I was asleep when you walked through the door.” As if you could get any closer to him, he pulls you back into him and wraps his arms around you even more.

“It’s okay, I got to admire your lovely face for a bit when I walked in. Also, please never shave because the beard is looking so good.” You say shyly.

“Oh, yeah? I guess I could grow it out a bit, for you anyway,” He says with a wink, and then he starts tickling your sides and that causes you to start laughing. He could listen to your laugh forever.

“Okay stop! I take it back! If you’re going to tickle me, then I don’t need the beard anymore!”

“Hmmm I bet. I’ll let you rethink that decision,” he says pulling back from tickling you and now just admiring your face that is now slightly pink from laughing so hard.

“Okay, never mind, I love the beard too much for you to get rid of it!” Then you pull him into a kiss, instantly melting under him.

Suddenly needing air, you two pull apart. Now remembering why you needed to wake him up, you say, “I’m hungry, what do you want to eat? I’m down for anything that you are, just not tacos!”

“Hmmm, I think I want some macaroni and cheese honestly. I haven’t had it in a while, and you make the best out there. If you get all the ingredients together, I’ll help you make it.” He says, rubbing his hands up and down your leg that has made it out from under the covers.

“Sounds perfect Quinny! Now let’s go eat before I starve!” Sadly you leave the warmth from him and from being under the blanket and make your way to the kitchen to get the ingredients.

As soon as you make it into the kitchen, Quinn grabs your hand and pulls you back into him. “I just wanted to say that I love you so much.”

Giving him a big smile, you pull him into a deep hug, “I love you so much too.” In that moment, you know you’ll always have someone to go home to, even when he is away for games, he will always be your home.

[eyesthatroll]

my love, mine all mine | quinn hughes

pairing: qh43 x fem!reader

warning(s): kissing, established relationship, nothing else i think. barely edited

summary: a lil somethin’ i wrote while listening to my love mine all mine by mitski

word count: 1.5k

author’s note: i am the most tired i have ever been right now and i have to get up in an hour or two for a ten hour shift 😔 but i hope you enjoy this lil number, it’s my first time writing for quinn n i hope i did alright. as usual, sending my love. go canucks! —mari

Yawning softly, you nestled yourself deeper into Quinn's warm embrace, allowing your eyelids to gently shut as you turned your back to the crackling fire. The animated conversation among the boys continued, the sound providing a soothing backdrop to the peaceful moment. Quinn's right hand moved in soothing circles on your back, while his other hand held onto a half-finished beer, the cool glass a stark contrast to the warmth you found in his arms.

During the sporadic lulls in the conversation, the mellowness of country music, Jack's choice, enveloped the space. The soulful chords of "Tennessee Whiskey" by Chris Stapleton, dominating the atmosphere. As you rested against Quinn's comforting presence, he quietly hummed along with the song, his voice adding a subtle layer to the music just low enough for only you to hear. Your fingers aimlessly toyed with the drawstring of his gray sweatpants, a futile effort to battle the creeping fatigue that had been amplified by the day's events. You were determined not to squander the night by retiring early, as the impending end of summer loomed overhead, casting a bittersweet shadow as it heralded the departure of everyone you loved, including your boyfriend of nine months.

Lowering his head, Quinn tenderly places a kiss on your forehead, his affectionate gesture infused with fondness and adoration. His hushed voice carries a gentle suggestion as he speaks to you, "Why don't you go up to bed, Baby-Doll?"

In response, you lightly shake your head, brushing aside his words. "I'm okay."

He doesn't press further, recognizing that your decision to head to bed will likely come only when he joins you. Nevertheless, he doesn't mind this compromise. Every moment in your embrace is precious to him, particularly with the imminent knowledge that in a week, he'll be heading back to Vancouver while you remain here. He keeps his inner turmoil hidden, unwilling to burden you with his feelings, but the strain of a long-distance relationship is slowly taking a toll. With your final year of university on the horizon, he hopes that you might consider moving to Vancouver with him, yet he's well aware of the magnitude of that request and the challenge it poses to both of you, so he's yet to bring it up.

Quinn spends the next twenty minutes or so caught in his head, his thoughts consumed by you and the possible future you might share. He absentmindedly nods at whatever topics the boys are discussing, their voices blending into a background hum as he drifts through his contemplations. In his mind, he envisions the two of you sharing a home, the two of you building a family together, and he can't help but smile at the idea, even if it remains unsaid in the midst of the casual banter.

"What do you think, Q?" Trevor asks, raising a beer to Quinn from across the flickering fire pit, where the warm glow dances in the darkness.

Quinn blinks, momentarily drawn from his reverie. "Huh?"

The group shares a collective chuckle, their laughter adding to the background melody of the evening. "Another beer, you want one?" Josh offers, extending a cold bottle towards Quinn.

A sudden hush fell over the group as they waited for his answer, emphasizing the gentle, rhythmic snores that escaped your lips. You looked utterly enchanting, cocooned in an old, oversized Michigan sweater of his, your delicate features half-hidden beneath your tousled curls. The dancing firelight painted your silhouette with warm, flickering hues, casting a soft, otherworldly glow around you.

In that poignant moment, as he looked down at you, all Quinn yearned for was to steal you away to your shared room. Just the two of you, wrapped in the comforting embrace of the warm duvet. He offered a tired smile. "No, actually, gonna call it for the night." The murmured words sounded like a gentle promise to both himself and the alluring vision before him.

You had always been a notoriously light sleeper, a trait Quinn found endearing. It was, therefore, a genuine surprise to him that you didn't stir the moment he scooped you into his arms and began carrying you into the house. However, as he carefully closed the screen door behind him, its echo resonated through the stillness of the house, and you stirred to consciousness. Blinking your eyes open, an expression of confusion graced your features as you tried to make sense of your surroundings. Your voice, soft and laden with sleep, slipped through your lips. "Quinn?"

"Goin' to bed, Baby-Doll," Quinn replies simply, his gaze momentarily fixated on you before he turns his attention to the path ahead, ensuring a safe ascent up the stairs with you in his arms.

He gently sets you down on the bed, and you flop back dramatically, savoring the comforting embrace of the sheets against your back, releasing a contented moan. Quinn chuckles at your playful display, beginning to shed his day clothes. And as much as you admired his physique, you spring out of bed, heading towards the en-suite bathroom, your intention to quickly wash your face and brush your teeth.

Soft footsteps echo through the bathroom as Quinn follows you inside, his tall and muscular frame comfortably settled in nothing but his boxers. The intimate setting feels soothing, and he joins you at the sink, standing side by side as you begin to brush your teeth.

You sneak a peek at him from the corner of your eye, and a playful glint in your eyes prompts you to initiate a playful toothpaste battle. Quinn's eyes widen as you start flicking tiny drops of toothpaste toward him, and he quickly retaliates, with laughter filling the room. Soon, both of you are playfully dueling with your toothbrushes, smirking and giggling like teenagers.

After the impromptu skirmish, Quinn doesn't put up any resistance when you give him your best puppy-dog eyes and plead for the privilege of conducting your nighttime skincare routine on him.

A comfortable silence envelops you both, the bathroom's soft lighting casting a warm, intimate glow. Perched on the bathroom counter, you have Quinn standing between your legs, your feet just barely wrapped around him. With gentle motions, you apply moisturizer to his flushed skin, your fingers caressing his cheeks with care.

Quinn's gaze is fixed on you, his eyes locked onto your face with an intensity that doesn't go unnoticed. As you work the moisturizer into his skin, you can't help but sense a subtle tension in his furrowed brows, a hint that something might be bothering him. You break the tranquil silence, your teeth grazing over your bottom lip, a nervous habit surfacing. "Are you okay?" You ask, your voice tender with concern, your eyes searching his for answers.

His response comes swiftly, as if he's been waiting for the right moment to share his thoughts. "You graduate this year," Quinn replies, his voice carrying a mixture of pride and a touch of uncertainty.

Your smile beams at him, and you gently place your hands on his strong shoulders, a gesture of reassurance. "I do," you affirm with a nod.

Quinn lets out a deep, contemplative breath, his hand instinctively moving up to run through his unruly, dark brown hair. His lips part and close a couple of times, as if he's grappling with the words he wants to convey, caught in a moment of indecision.

Your sudden, sweet kiss catches him off guard, his initial surprise giving way to a warm, affectionate response. Before he can fully process the gesture, you've already withdrawn, leaving a subtle, bashful grin dancing on your lips. "What's on your mind, My Love?"

He exhales another sigh, his tongue moistening his lower lip in contemplation before he voices his admittance. "I can't stand this long-distance thing."

Your lips contort into a pained frown, and an instinctive retreat pushes you further away from him, your back connecting with the mirror's cool surface. "Are you breaking up with me?" Your voice quivers at the fear of Quinn ending things so suddenly.

His eyes widen in alarm, a rapid motion closing the gap between you as he firmly grasps your waist, pulling you back into his comforting proximity. "No, no, baby, I'm not saying that at all." He emphasizes with a reassuring tone.

Relief floods your entire being, a soothing balm to your anxieties as the erratic thud of your heart settles back into its regular rhythm.

"What would you think about moving in with me, in Vancouver after you graduate?" His head tilts to the side, a distressed look on his face as tries to gage your reaction.

You crush your lips against his once more, the fervor of your kiss matching the intensity of your emotions. A delighted grin creeps across his face as your hands weave their way into his hair. Your mouths mold together in a harmonious dance, each movement executed in perfect synchronization. A subtle exploration ensues as you lightly trace your tongue across his bottom lip, coaxing it between your teeth, which elicits a throaty moan from him. With his defenses down, he grants you access, and your tongues engage in a sensual tango, his fingers pressing into your side involuntarily.

Breathlessly, you break apart from him. "I thought you'd never ask."

[missycolorful]

With Tallulah's book she gave Chayanne for his birthday, I'm starting to get an idea as to why she's starting to live off on her own at her and Wilbur's house.

"worthy of behaving as a child for once." She's more than aware of how much Chayanne puts into protecting her. How he sees himself as a warrior, a protector of not just her, but all of her siblings. And yes, I can see this as her trying to be more independent, as well. Her time running away with the group, and even being separated from Chayanne, gave her time to grow up and face the real world without q!Phil or Chayanne. Yes, she had Ramon and Dapper, but that time away from Chayanne probably allowed her some additional perspective toward her sibling. She probably gained awareness of how he led the group into running away, how he took care of them when it was just the six of them on their own. And at the end of the day, she realized: Chayanne's just a kid, just like her.

Yes, Chayanne being who he is has saved them in many situations. He needed to learn to fight and protect for the sake of himself and his loved ones. This was all important. But now that there's a bit less chaos going on, a bit less at stake (they even gained an additional life back upon waking up!), I think Tallulah wants to give him space to be a kid. She doesn't want him to feel like he has to be her protector all the time. He deserves some time to feel silly and sweet and sensitive.

So she gives him space. She goes to her own house to sleep, so Phil and Chayanne can have some time to themselves, and so Chayanne can just be a very young son of a father. Yes, she also gains something from this, it's not as if she's only doing this for her brother's sake. But I definitely think she took them both into consideration when making this decision to not sleep at Phil's all the time.

[hollycrowned]

cipherhunt log: some sunny day

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

On July 27th, I went to the Hillsboro Barnes & Noble signing event for The Book of Bill. I’ve decided to come back to this account at least for a moment to write a little bit about what it was like. At the end of this post, there’s some Cipher Hunt related news, so be sure to read all the way through.

The Q&A was a lot of fun. There was excitement in the air even before the event began, with eager fans wearing Dipper hats and flannel shirts hurrying to their seats. A few fans were in cosplay, too, which was heartwarming to see. While there were several kids with their parents in the audience, most of the fans there were younger adults—which really made it hit me that the series first aired over ten years ago.

By total accident I ended up next to the door Alex stepped through and caught his entrance:

Alex has the type of charm that can get anyone laughing, and his own laughter is contagious. I didn’t record much of the talk, wanting to simply experience it, but here’s a short video I took of him talking about how The Book of Bill came about:

Over the half hour, Alex talked about the the book itself, about the show, his characters, and about creating a television series. Fans, when the mic was turned over to the audience, said what they love most about the series and asked about intentionality and the possibility of crossovers (Alex’s immediate “yes” was a hit). Alex expressed after one question that while he never could have guessed that people would like Gravity Falls so much, he’s grateful for the enduring love fans have for the show.

The event coordinator, who schooled a few questions to Alex before mic was given over to the audience, asked what I think we all want to know: “What are you working on right now?” Alex gave the answer he’s given in the past: that as is typical in Hollywood, he can’t talk about the projects he’s currently involved in.

If you were around when I was active here, you might remember that by the time I left, my focus had become to follow Alex through his career. To recap: after Gravity Falls ended, Deadline reported in 2018 that Alex had signed a multi-year exclusive contract with Netflix. Not long after, Netflix announced the opening of its own animation studio, alongside a reel showcasing some of the artists they’d recruited. The reel highlighted that this group of artists included industry legends, young talent, and diverse voices; each artist in the reel talked how excited they were for what the studio itself meant the future of animation, and for the opportunity to work there. Alex was in this reel, too.

Although I’ve moved on to other fandoms and my own creative work, I’ve kept up with movements in the animation industry. If you have, too, you may know about the massive cuts and cancellations Netflix has made in the last several years, especially to its animation department. Alex has produced and consulted on a few projects at Netflix since his contract began—chief among them Inside Job, which was initially renewed by for a second season before Netflix reversed their decision six months later and cancelled the series altogether. Shion Takeuchi, the creator of Inside Job and previous writer on Gravity Falls, confirmed the cancellation, saying “I’m heartbroken.” Alex, in a reply, expressed the same, adding, “Grateful to have had the chance to help on one of my best friends shows, for however briefly”.

In the six years since Alex signed his contract with Netflix, there have been hints that he’s been working on a series with his name on the masthead. In late 2020, he tweeted about staffing his new show:

But if his project was among the cuts Netflix made a few years after that, he gave no sign of it in his answer.

It’s jarring, and saddening, to watch that reel from 2018 with the knowledge of what has happened since. Outside of Netflix, things seem just as dire, with the dragging of AI into animation giants like Disney and Dreamworks by their corporate executives—notably, as The Animation Guilds’ contract approached its expiration date. In 2023, Vulture published an article which included testimonies from four artists who worked on Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse about the unsustainable working conditions at Sony while the film was in production. Over the last few years, Warner Bros has shelved two animated films and one hybrid for multimillion-dollar tax write-offs. In addition, their subsidiary HBO Max purged multiple animated series from its catalogue, denying the artists who worked on them access to their own works—and for some of them, residuals as well.

The final question at the Q&A was from a fan who said that they’re currently in school for animation. They asked Alex if he had any advice for new animators trying to break into the industry. Immediately, my mind went to all of that news I linked in the paragraphs above. I listened intently…

Alex’s response did not have hopelessness in it. He did talk, foremost and with humor, about how risky it is to pursue art as a career, especially at this moment—laughed, as he ended a sentence with, “Don’t go into the arts.” But he moved on from that, and gave an even more honest reply: hone your skills, put your work out there, and don’t give up. Be persistent, share what you make, make what you love. Make sure it’s easy for people to contact you, explore feelings through your work even when it’s uncomfortable, and show your work to others, even though it’s scary. Alex also remarked on creating itself being hard work, from the raw process to putting your art out there to taking criticism to learning from what didn’t work and applying it to your drafts and future projects. Hard work, challenging in more ways than one, on top of an unforgiving cultural moment, yes—but keep going. Keep creating.

Keep making art.

Then the Q&A ended, and the signing began. I found myself at the end of the line, but I didn’t mind; neither did anyone else waiting with me. In the moments when I wasn’t chatting with other fans, I thought about that last question and Alex’s response.

There is little that is easy about being an artist these days. I have come to know this by having friends who are artists, by following the careers and accounts of other artists, by reading the news, and—since becoming an artist myself—finding out firsthand. But I have come to know, just as well, that the best remedy for these ills is community. Whether you create art as a hobby or you have a career in the arts, whether your medium is collaborative or solitary in nature: in the face of intolerable working conditions, cutthroat corporations and corner-cutting clients, the advantages they take, the instability and uncertainty, and what all artists can relate to: the challenges of the creative process itself—it’s the support of your fellow artists that helps you survive. It helps art survive. A community that creates alongside you can give trusted critique, celebrate with you, stand up for you, introduce you to other artists you can learn from, and give what is necessary for so many of us to create at all: encouragement. A voice that says, keep creating. This gives to the world what is necessary for us all: more art.

If tech companies develop their AI by stealing from artists, if the c-suites who own the studios see artists as disposable, with the way freelancing can throw water on creative fire, if popular opinion increasingly trends toward art only having as much value as money it makes, then we must support each other. Helpful, practical advice given by a successful artist on how to succeed in the arts in this particular moment is a gem to anyone who is reaching for that goal. But invaluable and eternal is example; not just of success, but of how to be good to your fellow artists—and in turn, to yourself.

And I just think that’s how an artist ought to be.

As the line moved, and I got close enough to see the signing table across the room, I watched Alex greet the fans ahead of me. I found that he was as sweet to people as I always have heard he is, as I remember from watching the Periscopes he appeared in during Cipher Hunt: generous with his time, genuine, and good-natured. One fan skipped away from the table with their book, and a big smile on their face.

And then it was my turn.

When you meet him, he looks you in the eye. I always forget, until I shake someone else’s hand, how small my own hands are. I told him my name is Holly. He asked, “Spelled how it sounds?” I spelled it for him, reflexively, before I could fully process the question and simply say yes. I said lightheartedly that he must be extra happy to see us, being that we were at the end of the line—it was over three hours after the event had begun—and he said, “I’m sorry you all had to wait for this long.” While he was signing my copy, I asked if he was enjoying Portland—though what I really meant to ask was if he was happy to be back in the PNW, in the summertime. He said yes, he loves it here.

It all happened so fast, with me completely forgetting that I’d passed my phone to a kind father of some fans waiting near me in line, and I almost walked away without getting a picture with him. When you meet a celebrity crush from your younger years, it has you reckon with how the part of you who crushed back then has walked with you through time—in what ways who you were back then is still a part of who you are now, and who you want to be. And, of course, it gets your heart beating a little faster, too.

There was much more I wanted to ask him (this has never stopped being the case), but there were other fans waiting for their turn, and he had given his time to just shy of 150 people already. So I smiled at him, and said thank you, and moved along.

I am, and always will be, excited to see anything Alex makes. Hearing him talk about his art, and artistry, and being an artist, was beyond wonderful; not only young Holly’s wish come true, but inspiring for Holly, today—as an artist in my own right. In the years since I retired this account, as I’ve read all this news about the industry, I’ve often wondered how Alex has been. I am very happy and grateful I was lucky enough to get a ticket to the signing, and meet him.

And finally…the Cipher Hunt news.

First: the fan waiting in front of me in the signing line (I’m so sorry I didn’t get your name, but if you’re reading this, I hope you had a safe and smooth flight back home!) said she had been to Confusion Hill recently, and that Bill and the treasure box are still there. I haven’t been to Confusion Hill since I last went in 2017–before COVID—but I think about Bill and the treasure box all the time. It made me so happy to hear that fans are still visiting and exchanging treasures. I hope I get to go again, someday soon.

The second announcement: by chance, I happened to meet a fan who is working on a documentary about Cipher Hunt. I introduced myself and said I’d be more than happy to help out with the project! The creator, Keyan Carlile, can be found on both Twitter and YouTube. I hope you’ll follow along!

I met so many other lovely fans while waiting in line, as well. There is still so much affection and excitement for this series, and it was so nice to step back into the fandom, if only or a moment. If we spoke with each other: it was so nice to meet you! Maybe our paths will cross again, someday. And to everyone, all of the fans who were there, and all of you out there with The Book of Bill:

happy reading!! ��

[qbebou]

i understand why ppl don’t believe quackity rlly didnt know abt the working conditions with the admins, it’s his server, he should be overseeing everything, etc etc. but i think many ppl aren’t taking into consideration how massive of a project the qsmp is and how big the team is. on top of the roleplaying admins (eggs, capys, bunnies) there’s likely lots of offscreen admins, builders, mod devs, writers, artists working on the project as well. it makes total sense to me for q to have hired and trusted ppl to handle parts of quackity studios that he a. didn’t have time for b. didn’t have the experience to make the best decisions for or c. that he just didn’t want to do. at the end of the day q is a content creator and yes that means he also is a businessman and yes he owns quackity studios but he’s also shown himself to be INCREDIBLY busy and things like managing finances, vetting, hiring, and paying out employees takes a lot of time and can go super wrong if he didn’t have the knowledge or experience regarding how to do such things. he’s also shown himself to be pretty hands off with a lot of the server administration stuff, afaik he still isn’t op’d on his own server which makes sense bc he does have a team running things behind the scenes. i worked administration in a small office a while back and we had plenty of miscommunication issues bc my boss didn’t handle every part of his business. he didn’t even know how much i was being paid bc he had hired someone else to do the onboarding, offboarding, and payment for employees. even tho our team consisted of like 13 ppl at any given time, there were still miscommunications. and we were all seeing each other in person! we weren’t even dealing with differing time zones or different languages.

at the end of the day, q is young and inexperienced. he trusted the wrong ppl to handle parts of his business. all we can hope for is that things change for the better, the whole quackity studios team gets paid fair wages, have stress loads taken off of them, and feel safe and comfortable continuing with the project. i rlly hope pommes admin comes back bc the qsmp wouldn’t be the same without her even if another admin took the place of pommes character. idk if lea would want to come back but i feel like the door should be open for her too and she still deserves compensation for the work she did in her time working on the team. i have high hopes that things will get taken care of and some restructuring happens within the company

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Off the Page 1

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: skinny!Steve

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Maria brings you your travel cup as you acknowledge her with a quiet thanks under your breath. You try not to turn your attention from the person on the other side of the table. You keep your rehearsed smile in place, nodding as you open the cover of their book and write their name inside before leaving a message and your signature below. They ramble on but you don't mind so much, their passion is entirely flattering.

You still can't believe this is your life. You're a writer. Not that freelancer knocking out commissions for pennies, by an author. It's your second novel and by your publisher's declaration, a hit. You suppose you wouldn't be on a book tour if it wasn't.

You pause to have a sip of coffee. You've been here all morning. That there were people lined up before opening assured you of the long day but it just doesn't seem to stop. At the end, you're set to do a reading and giveaway a collector's edition of the book. Your longing for your hotel room only grows deeper as your hand cramps and your eyes sting.

The next reader steps up, his book well-worn and clutched in his slender hands. He's thin and short, with a swoop of blonde hair over his forehead.

"H-hi," he sputters as he goes to set his book on the table but it hits the edge and falls to the floor, "oh, s-sorry, I'm sorry."

He's almost frantic as he bends to retrieve it and places it in front of you. You smile at him as one of the store's branded bags dangles from his elbow. He has to buy a book to get a signature. You pull his well-read copy towards you, the cover wrinkled and the spine cracked.

"You know, I could sign both..." you offer, "since you spent the extra money."

"Oh, oh, n-no, that's... that's okay. Um, thanks. Just that one." He smooths his hair with a shaky hand, "sorry, I've been awake since two in the morning. Too much caffeine."

"Tell me about it," you kid as you hold his book open, "I can tell you really liked the book."

"Ye-yeah, yeah, so much," he seems ready to burst as his blue eyes light up, "you know, I really love Emeris. He... I don't want to be lame but... he's like me. You know?"

"Oh, yeah," you agree kindly, "he's one of my favourites."

"Most writers -- I read a lot -- they always have the typical hero. Big and brawny, but you mad Emeris strong in other ways."

"I tried," you reply. "Anything in particular you want me to put here?"

"I... I can't think of anything," his eyes go wide, "I've been looking forward to this forever and I didn't think."

"That's okay," you assure him and uncap your pen, 'Keep on the path, my brave Emeris,' you weave onto the page. You sign your name and slide the novel across to him.

He takes it and opens it, reading as his nervousness breaks into a smile. He peeks up at you, closing the book to bring against his chest.

"Thank you!" He beams.

"No problem, you sticking around for the Q&A?"

"Oh yeah, my friend wants to go get a snack but we'll be back," he proclaims. "Thanks so so much."

"Yeah, no worries," you subtly look to the line.

"Oh, uh, I won't keep you any longer," he waves his hand apologetically, "can't wait for your reading."

"See ya," you return and turn to the next person, a girl in deep red plaid, a brand new copy plopped down before you.

You just have another hour until you get to sit in front of all these stranges and try not to get tongue-tied. It should be easy by now but those butterflies in your stomach still flutter. More coffee, next book.

📖

The Q&A goes about as well as any other. It was good fun but entirely exhausting. You're ready to just go as the winter sky darkens fast outside the bookstore windows. Maria stops you to talk about your train ride tomorrow and the next venue. You beg her to let you go back to the hotel.

"I told you it was going to be a lot," she chuckles.

"You did. And just like you said, I'm tired, so please, I have a tub with jets waiting for me."

"Just make sure you don't stay up all night writing your next bestseller," she winks.

"You're telling me to get sleep?"

"I'm a great sleeper, I just happen to sleep best while commuting," she shrugs, "fine, go. I'm just going to talk to the owner quick."

"Alright," you utter through a yawn and cover your mouth, "I'll see you tomorrow."

You leave the bookstore and the chill air blows into your open coat. You shiver and clutch the strap of your bag. The bright sign of a Korean shop catches your eye. You're so tired of the bland hotel room service, you can spare ten minutes and a couple bucks.

You cross the street and enter the shop. The lights are low and the din is soft. You approach the counter, perusing the menu laminated on top and order some hoison noodles.

You hear muffled chatter from the corner and sway, trying to ignore it. After paying, you move over to wait for your take-out. As you do, you sense someone watching you. You peer over and see an eerily familiar set of blue eyes. It takes you a moment to recall the skinny man from the signing.

He's with another sat across from him. A bigger man with dark hair and wide shoulders. He shakes his head and catches the blond's hand before he can wave at you. He hisses something at him and you quickly look away.

You're still getting used to that. It doesn't happen too often but it's still awkward. You face the counter and take out your phone, a way to make yourself look busy.

You try not to hear but it's so quiet in the place, "Steve, quit, she doesn't wanna talk to you."

"I know. I just wanted to say hi," the hiss blows back.

Your order number is called and you grab it with a thanks, eager to flee before the situation can devolve. As you go to the door, you hear a groan under the jingle of the bell above you.

"Great, Buck, you always got be a buzz kill..."

You don't look back as you walk away from the shop, searching out a taxi as the smell of the noodles torture your empty stomach. You might just fall asleep before you can enjoy your prize.

[swee7dream]

wayv as agere caregivers ! caregiver!wayv x regressor!reader

genres sfw age regression content, fluff warnings rly sappy nicknames used dni nsfw / kink author's note i need to put this out before anything else otherwise i'll be so lost when i write more vision stuff . this is basically for me to reference in advance . tag list @mystarsohee @cupofwyn @iwontlettheselittlethingsslip @aeriaeri ( comment / ask to join :D or be removed D: )

qian kun (ó㉨ò)

so sweet and so gentle :(

he’s so kind you can’t even THINK of going against his requests

makes mealtimes fun even if his tiny struggles with them for any reason

finds grapes in your ear! how did that happen? who put that there? oh well, you might as well eat it

always holding your hand or pinky

just loves to rest his cheek on top of your head or shoulder and watch as you play with your toys, chuckling softly as he hears you to talk to and as them

he’s a little stiff when it comes to playing but you can tell he’s doing his best so you’re not saying anything!

he accidentally sits on one of your stuffie and he holds it up and away from him in a panic, not knowing what the appropriate reaction is. does he apologize to you? to the toy? what is it called again? oh no…

very old-fashioned kind of caring

prioritizes you getting all your tasks done before doing anything fun

you begin to grumble but quickly stop when you turn to see him going (｡•ˇ‸ˇ•｡) and so you bite your tongue

gives you little pieces of candy throughout the day to reward you for doing chores (and so you don’t complain)

loves feeding you! you can insist all you want but he’s making sure your plate is squeaky clean by the end of lunchtime.

“i know you can do it yourself, baby. but kun-kun wants to. won’t you let him? pretty please?”

calls you little bird and teases you as he wipes your face clean of any applesauce or animal cracker crumbs

big big big helper. helps pack your bag, tie your shoes, pick out an outfit, all with your permission first of course. and how could you deny him when his eyes are sparkling like that?

the inventor of headpats, actually

li yongqin ≽ܫ≼

MEAN.

ok not actually but he’s actually such a tease! the biggest tease in all of nct, i wanna say. there’s johnny, one step up is yuta, and a BIG gap after him is ten

makes everything a competition but makes sure to keep the victories 50/50

who can wash their face the fastest! who can tie their shoes the fastest! who can put away more clothes!

when you first told him he… did not react the best. he thought you were joking :( he made a couple jokes before realizing no, you were 100% serious

immediately apologized while also trying to figure out if you were crazy or not. he decided that you are, but in a cool way so he stuck around

it was a process, but with many (MANY) q&a sessions and research he was chill about it

he was never against it, just confused

but once he gets comfortable in his role as caregiver (read: evil older cousin/uncle) he’s super supportive, a very tough love kind of guy

unlike kun, doesn’t like making your decisions for you. highly encourages you making your own decisions even if, or especially if, it ends up making you look like you just hopped off the first bus out of clownville, silly city

‘silly’ and ‘goof’ are his defaults for you. ur just a silly, goofy baby!

when you’re super uber tiny, he likes breaking ur brain and putting the triangular prism block in the square hole

“how did you do that…” “no one will ever believe you”

dance parties all day, every day, from sunrise to sundown, until you’re both passed out on the floor

sometimes you wake up but when you’re in so deep you sleep through the night, ten’ll make sure to get you in bed, wiping the sticky leftover feeling of sweat off your face and arms with some baby wipes

dong sicheng ⋌(˚͈v˚͈)⋋

be so nice to him

i’m serious!!!

at the beginning he’s so, so nervous. he’ll never ask but the look in his eyes always reads as ‘oh my god am i doing this right please tell me this is right’

he’s kind of quiet. very easygoing

happy to just stay in and do puzzles with you (or maybe just watch if you don’t like sharing) but also okay with having a full-blown princess party where you both get dressed up and you do his makeup

can never say anything mean ever

it’s kind of funny to see all the different ways he avoids saying the word ‘no’

“winnie like it?” ”my eyes are so… scribbly. very avant garde” ”what’s that?” ”…it just means pretty, sweetheart.”

the best for the not-so-good days, even if he says he’s not

holds you in his arms and rocks the two of you as you sit on his lap, sniffling and leaving your tears on his shirt. blows your nose for you (because he loves you, but you’re not getting snot on him) and presses kisses to the top of your head

he doesn’t speak much but when he does it sends you into fits of giggles

he knows his power too! specifically uses it to distract you when you’re eating so he can he steal some of your food :P

when you told him about your regression he just stared at you with a blank stare that got you so nervous you just rambled and rambled for who knows how long until he interrupted you all of sudden, hand out like a crossing guard, and went ‘okay’

that’s it. ‘okay’

you weren’t quite sure what that meant but here you are, playing tea party together in your fairy tent

xiao dejun ٩(ˊᗜˋ )و

he’s like a straitjacket

always has his arms around you and his grip is surprisingly strong. you wriggle and kick around but all you’re gonna get is a whiny xiao peppering kisses into your neck

doesn’t like playing pretend. you always scam him :(

he says he’s never playing grocery store again until you pull out the waterworks and he’s back giving his entire pretend wallet for a pack of gum

likes to take you out on walks with bella, carrying a bug of doggy treats, bags, hand sanitizer, and an extra big bag for you to drop all the pretty stones and flowers you find along your trek

also likes to make crafts out of your nature walk finds, leaf stamps, rock pets, etc etc. makes sure to keep them high up on a shelf so neither leon nor louis nor levi nor coco can knock them over

it still doesn’t work :(

has the time of his life playing photobooth with you. almost losing his lungs laughing so hard at all the different filters where his eyes get big like a bug or you’ve suddenly been turned into yoda

called you baby yoda for a solid week before you told him to stop

he still calls you it sometimes under his breath because he just finds it so funny so many months later

disney karaoke nights are WEEKLY

even if you’re not feeling little he’ll just start poking at you like ‘hey :(’ pokes ‘come on’ pokes ‘let’s watch hercules :(’ pokes ‘and sing along :(’ pokes ‘come on :(’

and honestly you do slip and make him have to deal with a bratty baby for a good ten minutes until he pacifies you in a hug with a surprising bear-like grip

loves having matching items with you. his heart melted when you got matching sleep masks and wears it every single night

he doesn’t know you bought them because you’re tired of nearly screaming every time you’re returning to bed after using the restroom and he’s staring dead at you as he snores

wong kunhang ◉‿◉

pink everything.

pink clothes, pink plates, pink dollhouses, pink books, pink socks, pink nails, pink food

strawberry pink cupcakes with strawberry pink frosting and pink sprinkles and strawberry jam in the middle all made in the easybake oven

you get sick of anything strawberry pretty quick (both literally and figuratively), but don’t have the heart to tell dery about the pink…..

very good at coming up with characters on the spot. the number one person you can turn to for names and personalities of new plushies, bought or gifted by him

“what ‘bout this one, dery?” “hmm, well, how about she’s a detective? from space. from a moon far, far away but crash landed on earth! and now she’s trying to gather money to get back home!” “yeah!!!”

but ask him for advice on irl problems and none of that imagination transfers over.

whenever you’re feeling fussy and tearing up kunhang goes crazy

what do you need !!!!! food ??? tea ??? tv ??? cuddles ??? he doesn’t know !!! HERE !!! all at once !!!

u just had a tummy ache from too much ice cream :>

huge cuddler. nothing can stop him

doesn’t feel hindered in the slightest even if you ask to nap with him PLUS all your pillows and blankies and stuffed animals. calls you two the bread slices of a fluff sandwich

little bit of a klutz but loves cutesy, delicate things like hair clips and pretty nails, not just giving but also receiving the princess treatment he’s always determined to give you

likes to let you take your turn first before he tries anything new out of fear of hurting you or doing something the wrong way

that’s why he likes asking lots of questions when you two play makeover. likes learning about your colors you like on your nails, the colors you don’t, the texture and treatment of your hair, everything ! he thinks you’re the most interesting person in the whole wide world <3

liu yangyang ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

gives the vibes of a fun older brother / younger uncle

full of bad ideas but enough common sense to not go through with them 100% (unlike ten)

very sportsy, very energetic, very aNNOYING

soooo cocky and does not give you an advantage even though you’re literally so tiny !!!! like do u mind …….

he’ll leave u eating dust playing mario kart during the first race of the prix and your urge to bite him only gets WORSE as he calls himself the next hit nascar driver UGH

but after some lighthearted teasing and competition has started, he’ll dial it back a little

sings you lullabies and nursery rhymes in literally any language if you ask.

chinese, english, and german are e-z of course but if your native language is one outside of those three (or maybe you’re learning another one!) he’ll try his best to sing a song in that language just for you <3

probably has a yearly pass to the nearest amusement park so u go often and race eye arr el as well. doesn’t ride the roller coasters, though.

holds your bags and waves at you from the ground when you’re going up on the roller coasters, giggling when he sees ur feet dangling off the ground

just likes trips in general, honestly

keeps beach toys in the trunk during the summer, camping gear during the fall, skiing/snowman building things in the winter, and kites and picnic stuff for the spring !

are you feeling sad? let’s go to the park !

feeling sick? you must go to the beach! the doctors from 1800s were so right to send all those noblewomen to the coast and now it’s your turn

cabin fever is never a thing when ur yangie’s baby

didn’t know how to react when you opened up, just listened carefully and quietly and held tight to your hand the whole time.

it felt like you were rambling for hours, but he made sure to let it be known that he didn’t mind

took a little bit to reach your current dynamic, but he’s so so glad you were comfortable enough to share such an intimate part of yourself with him. he can’t imagine a life without his baby !!!!!

author's note hi !! it's been a while ! sorry . i would use The Situation as an excuse but that would be a lie . i've just been facing writer's block this past month PLUS regression block but yk ! i love to do this so i tried to at least put out something . i know it's not great but i hope it's not too bad .

in other news , i went to this new bakery place in my area and tell me why their cheesecake smelled SPOILED ???????? (｡Ó﹏Ò｡) 1O dollars down the drain T.T

i'm reopening my requests again just for inspo ( no full-length stuff yet ) as my older reqs have priority and i'm a girl of my word despite not punctual ......

[sundewhasaudhd]

Fuck it, I know I said I wouldn’t post things about my AU’s out of order, but it’s my blog, and do want I fucking want

Sad TNT duo scene (tw: knives, suicide)

(PS, this thing’s pretty long, so you might wanna go grab some potatocorn or something):

W: *Looking down sadly at his reflection in his knife*

Q: *Practically slams open this man’s fucking door like he isn’t breaking and entering* Jesus fucking Christ Wilbur, where the fuck have you been?! I…people were really starting to worry about you.

W: (to himself) You, you cared?

Q: What?

W: Nothing. Why are you here?

Q: Did you not hear me dipshit, looking for you. I hadn’t seen you in a few days, I was starting to get concerned.

W: That feels a bit dramatic, don’t you think?

Q: Not when you’re at my border bugging me everyday, no

W: …

Q: You ok?

W: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine

Q: You sure? There were a lot of pauses in that four word sentence. Y’know if you have something you want to say to me you can say it

W: Yeah, since when has that been true?

Q: Excuse me 

W: Never mind, that’s not important right now

Q: Feels pretty damn important, but ok, sure

W: *takes a deep breathe* Quackity, kill me

Q: W-w-w

W: It’s perfect, I won’t be able to hurt you or anyone else, and you won’t have to put up with me anymore 

Q: Wilbur if this is your idea of “a joke” it’s not very funny

W: What about me asking you to kill me sounds like a joke to you? It’s not that hard if that’s what you’re concerned about. There are a bunch of knives in here, just take your pick. There are some over there, I think I have one near my bed, plus I’m sure you plenty weapons in your room. *Wilbur’s voice starts fading out* And you don’t have to make it painless if you don’t want to… *his voice is completely drowned out by either ringing or static, I haven’t fully decided yet*

Q: N-no you said you wouldn’t leave me! Th-that you’d be here for me! You promised you wouldn’t leave me again! You promised!

W: That’s what I do Quackity. I lie. I lie and I hurt and that’s all I’ll ever be good for. I can’t change that, no one can, which is why it’d be better for everyone if you just killed me

Q: I- no I’m not gonna kill you Wilbur!

W: Quackity, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me a single reason why I still deserve to live, why I should still be here tomorrow

Q: I-

W: You can’t. I know you can’t. And that’s okay. That’s great even! That’s you realizing how badly I’ve hurt you, and that you shouldn’t want me around *placing his knife in Quackity’s hand, which his dumbass doesn’t notice, because Wilbur’s touching his face and he’s gay* I don’t deserve to live Quackity. *starts moving Quackity’s hands (the knife) towards his chest* You should know that more then anyone. The only thing I’ve ever given you is pain, especially when you’re already hurting. You’re just doing yourself a disservice by letting me live.

W: Y’know, I really will miss you. You’re my favorite person, and I love spending every second I can with you. But that’s really selfish of me. At least you won’t miss have to miss me. Hell, anyone with half a brain cell won’t miss me

Q: What the fuck are you on about, of course I’d miss you if you died!

W: No, you won’t. I mean, come on, why would you. You hate me, remember

Q: I don’t h- *sees the knife in his hands, and then immediately drops it* Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?!

W: EVERYTHING!!! Every single decision I’ve ever made was at the expense of someone else! I’m trying to do the only good thing I can with my pathetic existence by ending it, which YOU don’t seem to understand! 

Q: Because that’s stupid! Yeah, you’ve hurt people, so what? We’ve all hurt someone else at some point!

W: CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

Q: …

W: I’m- this is exactly what I’m talking about. This is all I do. So, just pick up the knife, and put an end to my pathetic existence

Q: No! I won’t kill you Wilbur

W: Why are you being so stubborn about this?

Q: Because I love you, ok! I love you a lot. You’re the only constant in my life, and I really don’t wanna think about what would happen if you weren’t here. You’re my everything. And I *shaky sigh* I just can’t lose you again

W: …

Q: Fuck, just forget I said anything. I’ll just leave and pray that your not dead tomorrow mornin-

W: *hugs in gay* I love you too 

Q: *starts crying while hugging Wilbur tighter*

[lemotmo]

Valid, valid points. A lot of this makes sense. I agree with most of this. That Eddie thing could be interesting.

Q. What got posted that we weren't supposed to see? All the content the crew has shared and a golf pic is what gets them in trouble? I'm so lost!

A. I'm almost certain it was the firefighter golf club topper. There is no way that is a 'real world' item Buck or Gerard is walking around with. I had pretty much talked myself out of any kind of AU until that golf pic was released. That pic is wildly out of place. And there is just no way that golf topper is based in any kind of reality. So maybe Eddie does get stung and it causes hallucinations and he imagines a different 118 (119) reality. Or maybe it's Buck who gets stung and he once again experiences an alternate reality, using Buck again wouldn't be the best choice but it wouldn't necessarily surprise me either. Maybe Eddie was at the church trying to pray for Buck (or whomever the injured party is) to recover. Maybe he makes a deal with God, a spare my friend and I promise I'll be a better Catholic kind of thing. And that's how we get the start of Eddie's self exploration. That could open lots of possibilities for Eddie to figure things out about himself. I just don't want the injured party to be Bobby or Athena. They are way too overused in the trauma department and those characters desperately need a break where that is concerned. Last season was the first time they approached Owen (Lonestar) territory for me and I don't want that for them. It needs to be somebody else this season. There are other ways to highlight Angela and Peter.

As for the crew they never should have been posting the amount of content that they post. And truthfully the hospital pic from last season that showed Bobby's name on the white board should have been the end of their ability to post that kind of content. It's just too easy to make a mistake, like they clearly did yesterday. I do think though that we have guessed something correctly. Once they made the post about loving their 'busy bees' they were paying attention to the theories being thrown out and I would imagine we were right at some point about something. I also think whatever they're filming this week they want tighter containment of for some reason. It's been a quiet few days in comparison to the previous couple of weeks. Personally I'm glad they're going to slow the drip of content. The amount of spirals that resulted from that golf pic yesterday was ridiculous. The amount of asinine conclusions some people came to over that pic was absurd. And the reality is this off season has been unlike any other. I'm not getting into it because everyone knows what I'm talking about. The longer it went without any sighting of certain things/people the uglier things were going to get. Although I still maintain the reason he hasn't been seen is because he genuinely hasn't been on set yet. Everyone needs the break. They will still post certain things just not at the level they were and that's fine.

Thank you for dropping this in my ask box Nonny!

First things first. I read a couple of things on Twitter and Tumblr and I received an update from Ali about the bts ban as well. Here is the update:

"So apparently The Rookie and other shows had their BTS stuff stripped as well so it may have been an ABC decision across the board and not necessarily a 911 crew mistake.

The Rookie cast posted things about not being able to share BTS content anymore."

So reading this, I'm thinking that the whole thing might just be because of a spoiler from another show that got leaked. It doesn't necessarily need to be 911. It could be, but it doesn't have to be.

Or maybe ABC just wanted to get some control back, because the crew's posts were getting out of hand. They were posting waaaay too much information.

Still, that puppet picture that was posted yesterday was very quickly removed again, so it could have been about that. Unfortunately, there is no real way to find out.

But I do agree with Ali that the puppet golf topper was a very very very strange object and it might just be for some AU episode. Who knows?

I am happy that the bts is going to slow down though. With the premiere of the show rapidly approaching the tensions are rising and all this bts isn't making fandom a better place to dwell in. We'll get an official trailer soon and then we'll have plenty to discuss. I have no doubt about it. 😋

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[starryficsfinishwen]

a.n. - NSFW, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

When you think about it, you never shouldn't have reached this predicament, yet if it wasn't for your jealousy.

Looking back now at your actions, you think it's the best decision. After all, wasn't it a great sight to see Lee in between your legs?

Well, before he overstimulated you to oblivion anyway.

“L-Lee,” you moaned out his name, fingers absentmindedly gripping his soft locks, “w-wait, please,”

It's hot, it's heavy—heavenly, in a way that Lee thumbs your quivering clit, lapping at your folds, tongue in between your leaking hole; yet your heartbeat throbs like your sensitive nub, it's hell, as your body heated up, sweat dripping in Lee's jacket as his ministrations intensify on your pussy. The man in question refuses to listen, however, as he felt your nth orgasm of the day approaching closer.

How did you end up in this situation again?

“You're already doing a good job f'me,” Lee mutters in between his feast, “why stop now?”

Ah, you remember now.

“I-I said I'm sorry,” you whined, hips meeting his cruel lips, “I p-promise I wouldn't do it again.”

You were simply jealous. Who wouldn't? Lee is considered one of the prettiest constructs in Babylonia. While girls and other female constructs would flock to him, you wouldn't mind as you grew used to the attention. However, when a particular girl approached the man, why were the horns on your head growing at a faster rate?

“I'll let you take a break,” Lee paused, giving you ample time to breathe, “...if you remember how many times you've cummed.”

How many times? The fog in your brain could not comprehend anymore. You stopped counting after five. Whining once more, you looked at him with sad eyes, “I-um- ah, c-can I have a different q-question?”

“You certainly weren't this haughty earlier,” painfully drawing slow, precise rubbing on your clit, you moaned out Lee's name, but he held your hip in place, “Did you purposely dress yourself up like this, for me? Knowing that outside, there are people waiting for us?”

Ah, the people. The ones you were purposely interacting with, while you watched Lee be entertained with the pretty female construct. Out of jealousy, you say, when you flirted with another man. Out of jealousy, you thought, as you watched Lee's cerulean eyes glow with an emotion you knew you'd trigger. Out of jealousy, you reasoned, when you decided to retire early to the room you were given, purposely dressed yourself up in the jacket he constantly wore, the one that smelled just like him. Out of jealousy—

“No more, please,” you mewled, “this is the last time, I promise-”

Although the unzipped part of the back should have, at least, given you some cold air, the way that Lee folded you onto the futon certainly did not help at all.

“No,” Lee firmly said, fingers plunging into your awaiting hole, palm rubbing your overstimulated clit, “you've been quite naughty tonight, [Y/N]. Does a little slut like you deserve any ounce of forgiveness?”

The pace he thrust on you was relentless, curling your toes as your legs were slung around his shoulders. Without a warning, your walls convulsed around his fingers, squirting for the nth time tonight. You came as you cried out Lee's name, no longer caring if someone heard you. Like a good man he was, Lee licks you clean, humming as he lapped at your juices.

Brain fogged. You should have had enough, your muscles aching as you wanted rest, but your body ached for more. Lee settles you to his hips. You wonder, in the middle of your daze, how many times would it take before Lee breaks you?

“Tell me,” he growls, the tip of his leaking cockhead slapping your sensitive nub, making you squirm, “What made you like this, hm?”

He teases your hole. It made your walls contract, asking for his dick to fill you up, but whining as he retracted. “Lee-”

“You haven't answered my question.”

You should. But you're such a brat. Refusing to answer, nails only raking the side of his head to his shoulders. You babbled an incoherent phrase as he leaned forward, shaft entering your walls in one thrust. You weren't prepared to take his big cock still, even after tons of prepping.

“L-Lee-”

“If you won't answer, then let's see how long could you last, mm?”

Lee picks up his pace. In and out, cock already rubs your sweet spot as he thrusts shallowly into you. You cried out a lot of times, nails digging into his skin, forgetting where you were —

“I-I'm s-sorry, I was jealous-”

“Of who?”

“The g-girl from the b-banquet, she l-looked like she wanted you.”

Lee goes still. Examining your face, despite looking away, Lee tenderly cups your cheek, smiling. “Really now?”

“...yes...”

Suddenly, you were aware of how big Lee was inside of you. You've taken him lots of times, but now, in this most vulnerable side, you could feel his warmth radiating your own, and you forgot the childish reason why you got into this predicament in the first place.

“[Y/N], were you really jealous of that woman?”

“Don't rub it in, jeez,” you groaned, arm covering your eyes, “it's a stupid reason.”

“You didn't have to think of it that way.”

And Lee goes soft. Tenderly placing your legs over his shoulder, his dick somehow a bit deeper and fuller in you, he carefully held you, now fucking you senselessly.

“I'm sorry if I seemed interested in her,” Lee spoke, “I didn't think about your feelings.”

His lips grazes your ear, making you moan, the intimacy of such act and proximity somehow making your mind even more mush.

“Don't worry, mmhn-”he whispered, a kiss underneath your earlobe, “let me show you who I care and love the most.”

Unlike his earlier attitude, Lee is now careful and sweeter—no longer rough in his hold, carefully holding you and guiding you as he ruts into you. You couldn't help but moan from his tenderness, stomach in knots for your next upcoming orgasm.

It's fuller now—and you no longer care about the outside. In your little head, you suddenly felt the need to be branded as Lee's favorite and only lover, and you are getting the better end of the stick; let the world know how good you were feeling from Lee alone, how good was the fuck you were receiving from the best lover.

As stray fingers mercilessly rubbed your clit, you whimpered Lee's name, to which he lets your foreheads touch—

“Cum for me.”

It takes a few more thrusts and rubs before you come undone in Lee's cock, with him following suit. It takes a while, clammy bodies and rugged breathing merging into one sloppy kiss.

In the afterglow, you notice Lee's smile, as his cerulean eyes wander to the jacket you were wearing.

“It looks...nice on you.”

“T-Thank you...I'm sorry again.”

“To be honest, if you wear this again, it makes me want to fuck you, jealous or not.”

“L-Lee!”

“The night is quite young, [Y/N], let's make the most of it.”

the culprit of it all HAHAHAHAH thanks to @squishy-45 and @katsuonemars for listening to mt brainrot 🧡✨ so it's dedicated to them (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

edit: wrote this at 1 am sorri for grahams mistake

— starry

[respectthepetty]

Background Noise in 7 Days Before Valentine

7 Days Before Valentine is giving me The Luminous Solution vibes, and that is not a good thing, but visually? It's serving!

The color coding already told us that our protagonist, Sunshine, is the devil (read: he sucks).

He was filming an ad for a fragrance called Devil with a K-pop idol named Jeff (no comment), and he was playing Mephistopheles, a devil who sold his soul for power.

When he left the studio, he exited out of a red door (hell).

He noticed a girl falling (or even pushed her) but focused on texting instead, and ended his message with a devil emoji. 😈

And the scene ended with the girl on the floor as he walked away.

It started to rain as Sunshine's boyfriend, Rain, waited for him.

When Sunshine entered the shop, all the umbrellas were black.

But when he exited, all of the umbrellas were red and the shot was slightly tilted.

In the shop, the owner warned him that he was being careless about love and not putting the time and effort into it, which Sunshine dismissed. The owner finally gave him a flower that was "big enough to stand the Rain."

And the assistant emphasized that the flower, which he named "Marie" (like the mother of all good guys?), loves "Rain" before the owner told Sunshine that "Flowers get you high, but liquor makes you see the truth."

Sunshine showed up to the restaurant in his red jacket with the devil horns on and offered Rain the flower and some of the perfume, but Rain is allergic to it. Sunshine told Rain he bought them tickets to Japan so they could celebrate in the snow. (When hell freezes over, I guess?)

Therefore, Rain understandably broke up with Sunshine at a place called "The End of the Road"

Rain told Sunshine that he is condescending, immature, and selfish, and left him for a college student named Air (like a breath of fresh air)

Rain owns a cafe called Rainmaker, and all of his employees are in love with him. *cue early 2000s rap song about making it rain*

This is that Luminous Solution vibe. If you know, you know, and if you don't, be thankful.

Sunshine returned to the shop where the owner yelled at him about balance, and told him that two opposites can exist with compromise, like Sun and Rain. Sunshine was not pleased.

And this sign doesn't make sense to me.

Sunshine put on the horns again, and we got several shots like this as if the devil was approaching because of it.

When Sunshine entered his apartment, he was the center of the universe.

He admired himself with the horns.

But once he took them off, he began to yell. Each time he had the horns on this episode, he was more comfortable and calm. He shouted that he would not accept his fate.

And that's when the Grim Reaper appeared. He stated he was between good and bad, here and there, the past and the future, but he showed up in white and the cool light, called himself a Cupid Reaper, and told Sun to call him Q.

As he moved through Sun's apartment, the lighting became warmer, and he stopped between the red lamp and the sunshine-like clock.

The actors on the TV are the shop owner and assistant.

And the owner did a gesture to show Sun it was real at the exact time Q told Sun it was real. Then, the TV immediately cut off.

Sun's entire apartment is a battle between reality and an allusion, good and evil, the dark and the light, the right and the wrong choice with Q standing in the middle. He offered Sun a choice, but told Sun to really think about it, logically.

Yet Sun chose to go out into the darkness to make his decision.

And he chose power.

He is Mephistopheles, the devil who sold his soul for power.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I just read your response to star-anise and I wanted to say thank you. It's horrific how NPD is demonized. People will paint every move as malicious, i.e if you make a sacrifice and you're not a narcissist, you're selfless and kind, if you are, you're playing martyr for praise and attention. I find it interesting that people can be labeled as either bad or good for the exact same actions or reactions depending on your likeability and prior labels

when I was in my first anthropology class, my one-day thesis advisor started interrpgating us about WHY certain observed phenomena happened. He asked us why it is that societies tend to send men off to war, and we gave him a million different answers and he tore into everyone, forcing us to look deep into our assumptions of what reality was. He asked us about why we jail homeless people and he did the same thing, ripping apart the explanations our class had been taught from childhood. He asked us why incest was generally considered morally wrong and even then none of our answers could withstand his interrogations.

We were 16, 17, 18, and 19 year olds mind you, he wasn't expecting us to be debate geniuses. But he picked emotionally impactful topics on purpose and held us all in that classroom looking into a mirror and explaining to ourselves what we believed and why while he undermined everything we thought we knew.

Lass was a dick in so many ways, and my decision to respond to his assholery with spiteful rivalry and dogged refusal to cower before him and his smug interrogations of our conceptualizations of reality made me one of his favorite students. He met my wife back when we were still dating (she sat in on my thesis peer-presentation at the end of my senior year) and told me she was a keeper because of the questions she asked me and the other presenters during our Q&As. He was a man who liked living in the uncertain and prickly, and I have to admit that his approach was contagious in some ways.

When I think about the origins of the language of "narcissist", of Narcissus the lover of beauty and the admirer of rare treasures, of the vengeful and insecure Greek gods who tended to dole out vicious punishments to any human who dares to see humanity as equal to divinity, of the angry backlash that hegemony always has to anyone who is unable or unwilling to buy into its inflicted premises....

Well. What seems more likely? That there is some class of people biologically incapable of comfortable coexistence with other humans due to moral debauchery? Or that there is a group of people whose willingness and ability to be subjugated by hegemonic power structures is incompatible with social structures that normalize systemic abuses and violations of self?

I'm not saying that means someone is a perfect flower who has never done anything wrong, but like. Maybe individual accountability for systemic mechanisms of interpersonal and social abuse is still bad even when it's against people who do wrong/bad things sometimes.

I dunno. I think people are comforted by easy moral answers, but I spent 8 year working with Lass in various capacities and never met anyone who could fully step up to the task of defending their beliefs against his interrogations. Like. the man was a moral-grey-area metal-detector of a human being, and no matter how nuanced we thought we'd gotten in our analysis, he was always able to pull a further assumption out for us to examine. I learned to distrust my own feelings of confidence in really interesting ways. At this point if I think I have something all figured out, I take that as a sign that I should take a step back and look for my blind spots. Which I think was the point of Lass's trial by fire approach to teaching in many ways, damn the man.

People are really confident in their hatred of and rage towards "narcissists" and that tells me that the blind spots aren't being monitored. That's all I really need to say that I'm unwilling to take anyone's assertions about narcissism on faith. I don't pretend to have answers (though I continue to find the pursuit of those answers in conversation an admirable and enjoyable process) but I think it's important to be loud about that so that people don't gloss over that element of what I'm saying when I'm communicating about functional interpersonal dynamics.

[eurothug4000]

INTERVIEW WITH SHIGENOBU MATSUYAMA - PRODUCER ON SILENT HILL THE ARCADE

I had the pleasure of interviewing Matsuyama-san, one of the producers on Silent Hill the Arcade! Here's what he had to say :)

Q - How did the idea for Silent Hill The Arcade come to be?

A - During the arcade boom of the 1990s and the 2000s, a desire was born to combine the unique worldview of the Silent Hill series - which was already a very strong IP console game-wise – with the haunted houses one might find in an amusement part. We wanted something that could provide an easy and pleasurable experience to an extremely varied range of customers… as in, the casual users. This is the idea that brought Silent Hill Arcade (SHA in short) to life. However, since our goal was to create a new kind of experience that could not be replicated anywhere else, we designed a game that could make the most effective use of the 5.1ch surround sound system, which was something that arcade games hadn’t adopted until that point, with a type of cabinet that could be somewhat isolated from the rest of the arcade via the use of curtains.

Q - Roughly how long did development for the game take?

A - At the time, the development cycle of an arcade game was so short it would be unimaginable today. The shortest one was around six months, the longest about one year and a half. I think SHA took us around one year and two months.

Q - What parts of development were most enjoyable for you?

A – Usually, arcade games are tested a certain number of times, both during development and just before launch in each and every country where their release has been scheduled (which, for SHA, meant Japan, the US, the UK, Italy, Spain, France, Hong Kong and Singapore). In order to keep the development budget for SHA as low as possible, however, I personally traveled alone to the US for the market testing, assembled the cabinet all by myself, repaired it when it was out of order, and stood next to it for days on end, pen and paper in my hand, ready to collect the players’ data. Game development, nearly 20 years ago, was very much an analog experience. It was also hard work, but when I look back, I have so many good memories of that time.

Q - Do you remember any kinds of ideas that you and the team wanted to include in the game, but didn’t in the end?

A – I’m sure this will sound obvious, since SHA was based on a pre-existing IP, but since the framework was pretty much already set when it came to characters and plot, we had to be extremely careful not to deviate from it so that we wouldn’t create inconsistencies. Personally, I would have loved to take the story in slightly wilder directions and include new and fresh ideas.

Q - I loved seeing so many locations from Silent Hill 3 and 4 make an appearance in the game! Was the team who worked on those two games involved in making any decisions for Silent Hill The Arcade?

A - We of course personally consulted select staff members of Konami, like for example Producer Yamaoka, with whom I had been acquainted with since before SHA. However, most development teams had a mix of internal and external members that changed pretty fluidly with each and every year, so there was no real collaboration between the various teams.

Q - What level of freedom were you given for creating this original story within the Silent Hill universe? Were you given any specific directives on what you could or could not integrate/use in the story?

A - If I have to express my personal point of view on the matter, however, should you compare the storyline for SHA with the timeline of the other games, you would indeed notice a few minor inconsistencies that we were not able to completely solve. That’s something I still have regrets about.

Q - Tell me about translating a traditional survival horror experience into the rail shooter genre and control style. What kind of considerations did you have to make for this?

A - The biggest challenge was by far to design a game system that could be as simple as possible, and to regulate the level of challenge in a way that felt balanced, because we didn't want to force complicated controls or an exceedingly high difficulty level on the casual arcade players. Moreover, there was another balance we had to strike perfectly: more specifically, the one between the aforementioned "haunted house" element - the one that was unique to SHA, with its sequences of terrifying events - and the thrilling playstyle that a rail shooter should provide to the player.

Q - As a final product, what are your personal thoughts on the game?

A - I think it had a state-of-the-art sound system, that the design of the cabinet, with its creepy-looking curtains, made people want to take a peek inside, and that the rail shooting system was simple and could be enjoyed by virtually everyone. I think we managed to combine these various elements with a one-of-a-kind worldview of Silent Hill in a way that was in my opinion pretty good! Of course, each and every member of the staff did their part, and I thank all of them wholeheartedly.

Q - Are you working on anything currently that you’d like me to mention?

A - Feel free to write whatever you prefer! If anything, I should thank you, since you allowed me to walk down the nostalgia lane and recall memories from almost 20 years ago that had been dimmed down by the passage of time. Thank you very much!

Shigenobu Matsuyama's site: shig.jp

[bagely]

Q!MISSA VS STEVEN UNIVERSE: love when you don't love you

(essay on a beloved wet cat)

WARNING: These are my opinions, none of this is strictly canon, and it took a lot from Missa's pov and nothing more. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE. As you can see in the title I'm all related to Steven Universe songs lol

AO3 LINKKK

Welcome to the firts song, Love Like You;

Minecraft Extreme is the key to understand the actions and decisions of Missa cube. In extremo he was alone in that cold and hostile world until the team vacío legal took him in. They taught him what it was like to have a family, they protected him and teached him to defend himself, but since good things don't last missa left first. But across dimensions, time and space, the connections he had, the warmth and the feeling of family never went away. It changed the perspective of family forever. In missa's own words about them: 

Missa Cubito has never felt enough for the people he loves.

If I could begin to be

Half of what you think of me

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love..

Missa: I was in a team of very talented and wonderful people, they taught me how to play.... I didn't learn much but that team was called the " Vacío legal" Team, they were the best, they formed what I am now.... A disaster.

Missa learned, he grew up and there was a development in his abilities but he does not feel like that, he does not stop feeling like the person he was before them. He doesn't stop seeing himself as the weak one, the one who is protected, the one who didn't know how to survive until the end. 

Another reason why extremo is important to understand q!missa is because some people from extremo went along with missa to quesadilla island, and one such relationship was maintained.

Spreen and Missa are brothers. There is much to say about the two of them, and it is impossible for me to summarize, but for Spreen, Missa was everything, and for Missa, Spreen was MORE than everything. 

Before the eggs in the early days when they met again they did not change this relationship, and roier was also there, became his friend and helped him with his taqueria. Then the betrayal of the tacos happened.

Missa came back one day, and the world was upside down. Spreen killed his cat? no, it's not impossible, Roier is lying. His brother would never do that, he wouldn't be able to do that just for power and money, wouldn't he? He had to have a reason, he would never do that to missa, they're not like that. he's not like that. Missa even mentioned that maybe he wasn't Spreen that maybe he was like Quackity and "ElQuackity" because Spreen is his brother who protected him from everything, a person like that wouldn't hurt him, right?

When I see the way you act

Wondering when I'm coming back

I could do about anything

..I could even learn how to love like you

Even when Missa accepted that it happened, he blamed Roier. He knew it was a bad idea, he didn't have to trust Roier, all of this is because of his ambition. It is obvious that he would not beat Spreen, nobody beats Spreen. Roier is a fool and it's all his fault, not spreen's. And Roier made Spreen angry at him too, there is not other explanation, is Roier's fault.

Missa : [...] Throw everything away. Get rid of absolutely all the tacos you have and burn it. Get rid of- 

Roier : You don't understand, Missa .

Missa : [...] I'm leavin   

Roier : Are you leaving Missa? Are you going to leave me alone

Missa: You are not alone, you are with your pinches tacos, family ruiner.

Missa always idolizes his brother. Spreen is; brave, strong, and cool. this bunch of things that Missa felt he isn't. Spreen is and was Missa's hero.

But he betrayed him. Missa erased that from his memory in denial, and when he saw him again he pretended nothing had happened. He didn't expect an apology, it didn't matter anyway… it was just a cat, his brother is more important. Missa has never been against spreen, he can't be after all they have been through as siblings... Still, why did he kill his cat, why didn't he apologize? Why would he- ... After the egg event, he never saw his brother again. 

It's strange when people leave, because you can't ask them for explanations anymore, you can't tell them how bad their actions made you feel, you can't complain. Spreen left, and Missa couldn't do anything to stop it.

Now, Missa is alone and meets someone, and becomes a father. Things move fast, on the island. He is with two people who think he is amazing, who praise his attributes, who show him constant admiration, love... Something he hasn't felt since the team vacío legal, family.

I always thought I might be bad

Now I'm sure that it's true

'Cause I think you're so good

And I'm nothing like you..

Missa had never really been in the position of protector until chayanne came along, after the betrayal of the tacos, missa had been alone and out of nowhere he was given this little egg to protect and he couldn't get happier. Missa becomes someone's hero, someone's protector.

Missa loves Chayanne, that is something without a doubt. He is their little warrior. Missa doesn't want Chay to end up like him, he wants to make him strong because he is afraid that Chay will feel what he feels all the time. Missa supports Chayanne in everything, and even he doesn't limit Chay from just being strong and treats him like the child he is.

Missa: I wanted to see you, I missed you a lot. [...] I was afraid to return, because I was a bad father and I said: My son will not love me anymore, never again [...]

Missa thinks he's a bad father, he says it so much that it comes out easily. Although his son and husband deny it. When he sees his son's joy at seeing him, he thinks of his sadness when he goes away. He started to see himself as a shadow for the death family. 

Look at you go, I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I'm so special..

He tries to emphasize his presence, to make gifts like drawings that will cheer them up when he's not there. He feels weaker and weaker as the world gets harder and harder, and he doesn't see himself going up steps but trapped on an electric ladder going down.

Missa: Omg, I'm making you work just for me, thank you so much for.... Sorry, sorry...

Philza: Don't worry, I got you.

Missa: I don't deserve you philza, I'm going to talk like this weird so the translator won't work, so it won't understand that I'm telling you that I love you.

Missa begins to believe that he is a burden to these wonderful people, especially Philza. They were named as a partner, and now they are in this together... but Missa every time he comes back he feels he contributes less and less. And Philza gives him so much, Missa thinks Philza should give it to someone else and that he doesn't deserve it.

Missa can't see someone else as the father of their child, and for some reason that Missa doesn't understand Philza can't see someone else in Missa's place either, and it's all wonderful... but is it? Isn't he putting too much pressure on Philza with Chayanne?

If I could begin to do

Something that does right by you

I would do about anything

I would even learn how to love..

And Philza is so good, someone was going to notice, see it, and take it away from him. Missa doesn't blame them, but it bothers him, and he wants to fight but not because of Philza, but because Phil's rights to decide need to be respected, even though he doesn't believe he will be chosen. 

Missa feels that he can't support him anymore, that the level of support he can give is not enough. That he is not enough. Philza tries to calm him down, to tell him that he's fine taking care of Chay alone, but out of nowhere it's two kids... When? How much has he missed? 

When I see the way you look

Shaken by how long it took

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

Love like you

Love me like you.

THANKS FOR READING THE FIRST PART!!

MORE COMING NEXT WEEKS