#like childe is faster to type so i use it when im just saying something quick but if i write for him it’ll never be in there

[elemom]

@legofreak33 Thank you for ordering the Autism Deluxe Special!

Here’s why I think Zane Julien is Nuclear Powered

(Contains spoilers for 2011 ninjago seasons 1-3)

(I also have not finished the show so i might be missing some details)

A singular object that has seemingly infinite energy

Infinite energy is impossible, but there’s something that comes pretty close - radioactive materials. Since they are *literally* emitting energy and can do so for thousands of years, radioactive objects are basically the closest thing to an “object that acts as an infinite energy source” you can get.

Blue Light

It’s blue. It glows.

Now I couldn’t find a specific element that glows blue AND could be used in nuclear energy, as the only one I know of is cesium chloride. HOWEVER. I don’t need a specific element in order to prove my point here.

Cherenkov radiation.

Cherenkov radiation occurs when charged particles (say, an electron) moves faster than light. IRL this is only possible in a medium wherein photons themselves are slowed, such as water, but in the realm of make believe anything is possible. Even if we DO have real world physics in play, it’s totally possible that the energy core just has water inside it along with everything else (the core’s Blue DOES have a bit of movement after all!)

Critical Mass and Going Boom

This is where it gets too easy. They literally say it can reach “critical mass” IN THE SHOW. THEIR WORDS. NOT MINE.

If you aren’t familiar, critical mass is basically a point where there is enough material (a certain *mass*) in one area to cause a chain reaction: An atom releases a radioactive particle, which hits another atom, causing it to release another radioactive particle. Now we have two radioactive particles. They keep hitting other atoms. And so on and so forth. (Strangely, the show seems to reference critical mass as running *out* of energy, which is the literal exact opposite of what it actually is, so i’m opting to ignore that.)

So how does this apply to Zane and the references to a critical mass in the show? I personally like to believe that his “critical mass” was caused by *using too much power at once.* Kinda. There’s probably a control mechanism with neutron absorbers inside the core, so maybe the critical mass was caused by him retracting said absorbers, thus causing a chain reaction. (also as a tangent, titanium is apparently a decent neutron absorber! perhaps the real titanium ninja was the friends we made along the way)

Oh, and by the way. Nuclear objects reaching criticality are known to glow blue.

Pic related.

Difference between this and the core glow would be based on the types of particles, with the former being charged particles in a medium and the latter being neutrons. I think. Idk im a biologist not a nuclear physicist i dont go here i just autism about it

discussion section

So yeah! Dr. Julien just created a tiny nuclear reactor to make his son go. Sure. Fuck it. Who Gives A Shit

Anyway i think that’s all i have!!! This obviously isn’t all encompassing (how did Nya survive holding a piece of the core? Why was the explosion all icy and not like, anything else? How does Zane not kill everybody he meets?) but those can all be explained away in the name of “i have had a special interest in nuclear energy since i was a very small child and nobody can take this away from me.” like maybe people are fine because he just has really good shielding. Or maybe Nya is fine because girls are immune to radiation (totally true fact)

Thanks for reading! Take this piece of uranium ore as thanks for reading this entire post. 🪨

[comicglitterr0909]

Playing with Shadows (part 2)

William Afton x Fem!Reader Finally I finished part two of playing with shadows, if you haven't read part one then a short lil summary of part one is reader is an fbi agent who is tasked with making William Afton fall for them, and we get to know William and his kids and it ends off with William inviting us over for dinner. Honestly just read part one its easier.

But for those who did!! Heres part two!! Its the last part! Hope you guys enjoy! (2.7k+ words) Warnings: Cussing, a guy being a pervert but nothing happens he just says something creepy.

8:00 am. My alarm goes off and I quickly shut it off, getting up and getting ready a bit faster than normal. Today was the big day after all, I get to have dinner with the Afton family, while also trying to find solid evidence that William Afton is a child murderer. I quickly put on the uniform I have to wear, clipping my nametag on and taking one last look at myself in the mirror. I sigh, fuck, Im an fbi agent, im not supposed to get attached to people, let alone people im investigating. But of course I get attached to a serial killer's family. Well…I guess I don't know for sure if he's a serial killer, there's hope, if he isn't, if the family has just gotten really unlucky then maybe it would be okay? Maybe I could be a part of their family. But, then again, I would have to quit my job as an FBI agent. He definitely wouldn't like me anymore if I told him the only reason I was actually there is because I thought he killed a bunch of kids. Whatever, I need to stop thinking about that, I have a job to do. I grab my car keys and head to Freddys, parking in the parking lot and walking inside. 

I notice the afton kids are already at Freddys, they must’ve spent the night at Williams instead of their moms. Their faces all light up when they see me, Elizabeth runs over and gives me a big hug. “Y/N I missed you! Are you excited to have dinner with us tonight?” She says excitedly, jumping up and down. Evan and Micheal walk over. “Yeah, I’m really excited! What are you guys making for dinner?” I ask them with a grin. Evan giggles. “Daddy told us we had to figure out your favorite food without it being too obvious because he really wants to impress you!” Evan exclaims. A faint blush appears on my cheeks, he wanted to impress me? That's honestly really cute. “Evan you dumb shit, you weren't supposed to tell her that!” Micheal says as he smacks the back of Evans head, Evan starts to cry and runs off. “Oh c'mon now Micheal, go apologize to your brother, he didn’t know any better.” I say crossing my arms, damn I really feel like a Mom right now. “Fineee.” Micheal stubbornly says before running off to find where Evan went while Elizabeth stays by my side as I walk into the kitchen. 

“So y/n what is your favorite meal??” Elizabeth says as she climbs on top of the kitchen counter as I’m putting my waitress apron on. I don’t know why the waitresses have to wear an apron, I don't even cook things, oh well. “Oh uh, I’d probably say like (your fav food)” Elizabeth's eyes light up, she smiles and climbs off the counter. “Okay!!! I’ll go tell Daddy!!” She sprints out of the kitchen to go tell William about my favorite food. God these kids are so sweet, how am I going to abandon them if I have to?? “Are you having dinner with the Aftons?” I turned around and saw Aaron had asked me that. “Oh uh yeah.” “Damn, you must be special, Mr Afton usually is super mean to us, you're like the first one i’ve seen em be nice to.” Well that's pretty interesting, I mean I knew he was extra nice to me but he never seemed like the mean boss type. More like the creepy boss type, but Aaron has worked here for awhile so he wouldn’t lie. That is unless of course, he does lie. I stand there awkwardly nodding before looking away from Aaron. Y’know I think I preferred him when he was high, cause I can tell he’s not right now and he’s giving me pervert vibes. “Yeah… it must be because you're really hot. I mean, if I was the boss I’d have you be my personal assistant so I could stare at your ass all day.” Yup, definitely prefer high Aaron. He moves closer to me, but before he can reach me, William comes up behind him and grabs him by the back of his shirt, lifting him up. Don’t get me wrong, Aaron is like 5’5, super skinny weirdo but William made it look easy to lift him up. “Firstly, Aaron, you're fired, secondly, if I ever see you around y/n and you say that shit to her again, I will beat the everloving shit out of you. Get out of my restaurant.” And with that, William lets Aaron go, and he scrambles out grabbing his stuff and leaving faster than ever. Immediately after he’s out of sight William puts that familiar smile back on his face, walking closer to me and putting his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay? I had no idea he was such a perv I wouldn’t have hired him.” Fuck, this whole case is turning into a “try not to catch feelings for William Afton/a potential child murderer challenge”. “Yeah, um I’m alright. Thank you.” I say, smiling at him. After I reassure him he lets go of my shoulder. “No problem.” He looks around the kitchen for a moment. “Where is Bethenny, or whatever the hell her name is.” I follow him as he walks to the front door of Freddys, looking out the window for Bitchennys car. It's not there. “Well thats fucking great, I have one employee.” He walks back into the main area with me. “Huh…” He murmurs, I look up at him. “What?” I say as I see Micheal and Evan starting to walk over. “Even though I’m closing Freddy's early today for our dinner, I still have to open it for at least 6 hours. I only have you and me as actual employees and that sure as hell won't work.” Get to the point, Afton, jesus. “Okay?” “Well, why don’t I, just for today, let my kids help run the place? It can’t go that bad can it?” 

Oh it definitely can go that bad. We decided to go through with it, letting a 8, 9 and 16 year old help run a restaurant is a wonderful plan. 

“EVAN NO DON’T EAT THE PIZZA WE HAVE TO BRING THAT TO THE TABLE” Evan is crying because I wouldn’t let him eat the pizza. Micheal is making pizza’s but fucking them up horribly because he’s laughing so hard, Elizabeth is surprisingly the only helpful one right now and is bringing the pizzas to the customers. William is managing the orders and giving us the orders, and I’m micromanaging all the kids and making pizzas at the same time. I guess I did need the apron today. It's a Thursday and Freddy's is unnecessarily packed, the music and the kids yelling and laughing is really not helping with the stress of this all. I quickly shove a pizza in the oven, checking my watch that reads,“5:30pm”. Oh thank god. “30 MINUTES LEFT GUYS WE GOT THIS!” I shout at Micheal, as he nods at me. Evan comes up behind me and steals my phone out of my back pocket. “NO EVAN GIVE IT BACK DAMMIT” Micheal starts laughing again as I chase Evan throughout the entire pizzeria, that is until William grabs Evan and takes my phone from him while laughing. “Hah, here ya go, we got what, 20ish minutes left, I’ll start sending people out.” I let out a relieved sigh, smiling at him before going into the kitchen again. “Alright Michael let's start cleaning this place up.” Micheal, Elizabeth and I all clean the kitchen up, (Extra well since we made more of a mess). William and Evan get everyone out, and just on time, Freddy’s closes. 

“Well done team!” William says, high fiving us all with a cheeky grin. We all cheer and laugh a bit. “Okay, y/n, I’ll give you my address or you can just follow my car with yours, either or?” “Oh I’ll just follow you haha” I already knew his address. So it's easier to just follow. “Sounds good, I’ll see ya in a bit, doll!” He says before getting into his car and starting it. Doll? A pet name? I can’t say I don't like it but c'mon, he’s making it harder to not fall for him. I get in my car and start following him, it takes about 15 minutes before we get to his house. It's a damn nice house too. I park next to his car in the driveway, hoping he wouldn’t mind but then again it's not like his wife parks there. 

“Welcome to my humble abode!” He greets me, opening the door for me as his kids run inside. The inside is just as nice as the outside, they definitely deep cleaned it before I came here but still, it's impressive. William leads me inside, into the kitchen, but before he can say anything Evan walks over and grabs my hand. “Y/n! y/n! I wanna show you my room, come on!!” He says jumping up and down and pulling on my hand. William chuckles. “I’ll start making dinner, the guest has to entertain the kids. I laugh and wave him off before following Evan into his room.

I sit in Evans room talking with him for 20 minutes or so, he is mostly just showing me all his toys and his plushies. To Evans dismay Elizabeth comes in and steals me for her own room tour, her’s is a bit longer since she forces me to play barbie with her.

Micheal comes into her room, but his eyes widen with regret as he sees us playing Barbie. “MICHEAL PLAY BARBIE NOW!” Before Micheal can even react Elizabeth is shoving him into her room and on the floor, and handing him two barbies to act as. Micheal definitely isn't as good at acting as the barbies as I am, then again he’s a guy. “Micheal, you aren’t doing it right, you have a girl Barbie right?” He rolls his eyes. “Yes…” “Then use a girl's voice.” He turns a dark shade of red, clearly embarrassed to have to act like a girl, I’m trying my hardest not to laugh at him. “Fine.” He picks up his barbie and moves it towards the barbie I'm holding. “Hey girl how ya doin?!” He says in a high pitched really girly voice, and, perfect timing, just before he said that William walked in and heard it all. Me and William break and just die of laughter, Micheal is still dark red, the poor kid is just insanely embarrassed, Elizabeth just had her evil smirk on.

After we get done making fun of Micheal, we go downstairs to eat since Wiliam finished cooking. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to act surprised that he made (your fav food). But I choose not to. “Dang this is really good William, I didn’t know you could make anything except for pizza!” I joke with him, he laughs and thanks me.

We all finish eating, and Micheal forces me to play some shooting video game with him, naturally I’m terrible at it, even with having legitimate gun experience, Evan says goodnight to me and runs up stairs to go to bed. We keep playing the game for a while, William letting Elizabeth watch for some reason but whatever. I can tell William isn’t watching the screen, I can feel him staring at me, I try to ignore it the best I can. “Daddy can you come tuck me in, I think I’m going to bed.” Elizabeth promptly says, standing up and beginning to walk upstairs before pausing and turning around. “You too y/n.” She doesn’ even let me argue, she just walks upstairs like the girlboss she is. William chuckles, and walks upstairs with me. We get in Elizabeth's room and William tells her some made up story that puts her right to sleep, I shut off her light and before we can walk downstairs Micheal comes up. “Oh, thanks for hanging y/n, I'm gonna hit the hay.” I smile and give him a side hug, that is surprisingly not awkward. “Alright goodnight Michael.”

And finally, it's just William and I, downstairs, by ourselves. We walked to the front door, he was walking me out but before I left. “Y/n, I need to talk to you about something.” Oh god, is this it? “Yeah? What's up William?” 

“Look, you're my best worker, and currently my only.” He says with a small laugh. 

“And right now you're also, I'd say a good friend. But look. I like you y/n, i’m not going to hide from that, I want us to be more than friends, and to be dead honest with you it's not just like its love. I love you, I want to be with you.” 

Oh shit he said it, what do I do? Fuck wait I have to stick with the plan, no matter my own feelings, I have to… 

“I…I like you to William. But…you have to be honest with me right now, because I know about something you’ve done.” 

After I say that his whole demeanor changes, he looks more scared, wait no, not scared, just protective and maybe a bit worried. 

“What do you know?” 

“What you did to those kids William… I know about it… but… I don’t care, I need you to know that before you try to hurt me too. I don’t care because I love you too.” 

He stands there trying to read me, he looks baffled that I know about it. Which gives me the one answer I really hoped wasn’t the right one. He definitely is a murder.

“I killed multiple kids and you don't care?” And with that, I knew the police would be on their way right now, with the mic I have on my shirt they definitely picked that up. 

“I love you too much to care about that William.” God dammit. I want to forget that I'm an FBI agent, forget that the mic on my body recorded that, forget that police are definitely going to barge in any second now, I want to forget about all that because a part of me actually loves this serial killer, and that's what I hate so much about this. 

“Good.” He says, before he leans in, kissing me passionately. TO be honest it took me a little off guard but hey, I got one chance to kiss this tall hot guy. I'm going to take it, and just as I was giving in more. 

“FBI WILLIAM AFTON YOUR UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF MULTIPLE CHILDREN PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!” I see my co-workers storm in, grabbing William and handcuffing him, they start asking me if I’m okay and a couple other questions. They take William outside and I follow behind them. William looks utterly confused until I make eye contact with him, that's when it clicks for him. That I set him up, that I lied to him, and that I;ve been an FBI agent this whole time. 

“Y/n, you lying sack of shit!” He yells at me, pissed off as they struggle to shove him in the back of the police car. His window rolls down quickly, they aren't driving away. I feel like I have to talk to him, I owe him maybe just that, even though he's a murderer. And for killing those kids, I don’t feel bad anymore, I guess I lost sight… I forgot all the kids and families he’s hurt. I walked closer to the cop car so we could talk. 

“William, it's for your own good.” He laughs, he’s obviously still mad but he's grinning, the same evil grin that he never hides. “I could have gotten away with it. I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you, y/n.” He angrily says to me. “Right. But you didn’t get away with it, and this is just karma, William.” William keeps glaring at me, still smiling though. The officer gets into the driver's seat of the car, putting it in drive, starting to slowly drive off. 

“I always come back y/n!” He shouts as I walk with the car, matching its slow pace.

“No William, not this time. Not anymore.”

HOPE YOU ENJOYED GUYS SORRY THAT IT TOOK SO LONG IM REALLY BUSY WITH UNIVERSITY <33

[infiltracion]

INTEL 🞂 FILE 003 🞂 HOBBIES & SKILLS.

starting off with the most obvious hobby of her’s: tech. since she was a child, sombra has always been interested by tech. her fascination began at very young age when she was given an old, dingy laptop for school assignments. she definitely snuck it out of the school and kept it for herself to use in the orphanage. this was where she began to learn her most valuable skills - programming (aka hacking) and social engineering. you can learn so much on the internet! (derogatory)

her strong suit has always been in software- she learned the inner workings of a computer and how to troubleshoot any problem, get into places she wasn’t meant to go without getting caught, hide her location, etc.. if you give her a program and tell her to figure it out, she can tell you everything about it within the hour.

that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know about hardware, though. the intricacies of hardware was something she picked up soon after her interest in hacking was sparked. she began by dismantling and reassembling electronic devices like phones, tablets, cameras, computers. much of her late childhood was spent learning as much as she possibly could on her own about how these things worked the way they did. it was during this very experimental phase where she created the first prototype of what would eventually become the cybernetics she has today.

she is also canonically skilled enough with hardware to use the schematics of lena's chronal accelerator to create her own version of it that essentially teleports her which means not only did she had to understand the complex tech that went behind the workings of the accelerator, but she knew enough to modify it for her own purposes. also, pretty sure she's one of the only people who's figured out teleporter tech for her own use besides satya unless i'm forgetting somebody.

related to the above, she can type absurdly fast. like god DAMN everybody is lucky she tends to use touchscreen keys because if you get her on a mechanical keyboard it sounds like a constant keysmash. basing this off of myself because everybody constantly says i sound like this and im at a 130wpm speed so. she's probably around there or faster.

she knows so many coding languages she literally learned these for fun as a kid. javascript? she’s probably developed her own coding language for her personal systems too.

next hobby… so i know this is a punch to the face but just. i think she likes classic literature. shakespeare shit. is this because there's a potential reference to her in havana on one specific screen where they quoted twelfth night, specifically a scene with the character olivia? absolutely! i don't need to justify this! she also likes sci-fi and the like, which is a given, and she has so many opinions on it. don't get her started

anyways, i think that sombra’s favorite subjects in school were spanish, art, science and math. in spanish class they read and wrote plenty of literature and she found herself really enjoying the older stuff. something about period pieces hit considering how futuristic the world was + she was in a war torn region that hardly had limited, generator powered electricity for most of her upbringing. weird sense of familiarity + escapism. she enjoys similar historical themes in other media like television and movies, but she likes it best in books. she was very well read in her younger years, but nowadays most of her reading tends to be news articles and restricted files. still fun for her, but it’s not the fiction she grew up loving.

on a similar line of thought, i think sombra really likes art. she did a lot of sketching and painting when she was younger, dabbling in various types of art. her favorite mediums have always been traditional pen & paper and graffiti. she can do stylized people and animals, but her favorite things to do are landscapes, objects, and letters. a common theme with these hobbies is that she hardly gets to indulge in them anymore. it’s been longer than she can remember since she was able to sit down and draw, write, read, etc.

she did a lot of writing in her youth, mostly for school but she also indulged in personal writing that she would never show anybody. it was basically fanfic of shit she read or watched because yeah. mood. now any writing she does is in the non fiction territory like articles, e-mails, essays, etc. etc.

whatever time isn’t spent working typically gets spent watching tv or movies. she keeps up with the newest stuff, but she has a soft spot for “older” media (aka… shit we watch now). she canonically likes star wars (she named her stuffed bear artuito which is … R2-D2) which would be really old by their standards. she loves older scifi the cheesy effects and all that are just … chefs kiss. she also likes more historical period works too, you’d be surprised at what she’ll pay attention to. she has a lot to say about the things she watches and could go on for hours with analysis but she doesn't cuz that's some nerd shit and she is NOT a nerd.

this wasn't exactly a huge hobby for her but she did dance pretty often with the people around her, especially in her teen years when she started going to parties n all that. she wouldn't consider that hobby territory though even tho she does like it.

[pacifymebby]

lol Hi😂 I hope your doing well! I saw your post about swimming becoming and an healthy addiction and it made me chuckle (in a good way and respectfully!!!) because it reminded me of me little cousin does swimming for her middle school and is at the pool like every other day of the week plus weekends! And like last time we hung about at a pool she was just zooming around like a little mermaid while I was holding to a noodle b/c I'm not good at floating 😂 but yeah.... also I guess what I'm trying to say is that 4+ times a week probably isn't a bad amount to go swimming! It's exercise remember and exercise if good for all types of health!! Exercise is good for you!! Also plus's I think I've heard that some soreness can be a good think because it (can be) an indicator of muscle growth! There's some medical stuff there too but I can't think of it off the top of my head! Just remember to stretch I guess and stay hydrated especially because id your swimming in salt water I can dehydrate you faster then normal water because salt. Idk how you're swimming but maybe if you are doing like certain strokes you could try rotating to different ones that work some different muscles? Idk? It is also important to rest though! Maybe it would help if you like made out a schedule of sorts for like they days you go and don't go to get a good mount of rest in between? If it's something you find comfort in too it can be good to help relieve stress! And yeah, that's about all I got. Sorry for rambling! I hope I'm not overstepping! You're brilliant!! ❤️❤️❤️

Omg do they swim for the team? Thats actually really cool and something i never could have done in school!!

I had an older cousin like that who could zip around the pool like a shark, i remember him and my dad trying to teach me to swim when I was like 5 and had a big fear of water, i used to think he was the coolest but he was so naturally zoomy and stuff even my dad (who's actually athletic) couldnt beat him in a race.

Yeah i think Id be less para about it if i didn't get the intense feelings of guilt when I don't go swimming. Like this morning I got up to go swimming but missed the bus, so now i have to wait until this evening and I'm genuinely really upset with myself about it. Like I'm pretty prone to eating disordered behavior and I do kinda wonder if I'm attatching more importance to an hours swim than i really should be.

Yeah you're right about the soreness, I've been doing lots of stretches because i want to learn to do the splits and increase my flexibility again (i used to do gymnastics as a child and I'm hypermobile so i have a complex about not being the bendiest bitch in Aldi haha)

I did end up taking a rest day yesterday and not feeling awful about it in the end, and I'm going to go tonight and then tomorrow too, i can maybe even go on Saturday or Sunday which would be cool.

I only swim breast stroke because i dont like putting my head all the way under water (i have ptsd and having my head under water when I'm swimming makes me panic so bad lol) (im slowly working on it) but I'm really only going swimming for my mental health as a way of burning off all my anxious energy. It does do wonders for my anxiety on a good day tbf.

Anyways thank u for ur message and like, giving me the chance to get a different (probably way more rational) perspective on the whole thing, i feel a lot calmer and less paranoid now.

U definitely havent overstepped dont worry!! ❤️❤️

[inkykeiji]

so I started playing genshin impact (I hate that I have to play on my phone but my brothers literally claim the playstation 24/7 LOL) but its soooo good omg. im not at the level with Childe but when I do ill be sure to let you know my thoughts lmao

hehehehehe omg anon!!!!!!!!! so i completely spoiled myself and did over a day’s worth of research on him before deciding to start the game because idk i’m weird like that and i never want to take the time to get into something without knowing if there is FOR CERTAIN a character i’ll love (i did the same thing with dabi and bnha) but YESSSSS U MUST TELL ME UR THOUGHTS!!!!!!! i can’t wait to hear them!!!!

[versadies]

THE HOUSEHUSBAND AU IS A MASTERPIECE

Pls i was WAITING for someone to do this AU with genshin men- u can sense my desperation from miles away

Thank u so much for this T^T

Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Chide and Thoma are great househusbands no doubt but i am quite curious about how Xiao would be as a househusband idk he looks like someone who would be the type to be in the Yakuza

I am a simp for Xiao-

HOUSEHUSBAND YAKSHA

letter from the author: you’re super welcome comrade !! im glad im able to provide househusband content for u and others who need it 😩🙏

content: hints of zhongli x childe (dni if you hate or not comfortable with this ship), mentions of violence, domestic fluff, yakuza!au, modern!au

the way of the househusband au masterlist

as someone who has spent almost half of his life serving his yakuza boss who saved him from an abusive guardian, xiao didn’t exactly have any time for domestic activities (nor necessarily needed in the yakuza organization.) so he isn’t exactly the best househusband nor the worst.

he’s fairly aware of how to do basic domestic activities so there’s no need to worry about that. he has to admit though, cooking is definitely not his best expertise.

back when he used to be a part of the yakuza organization, he’d rather cook instant foods since it’s more faster and not time consuming. the only times he cooked are when he’s craving for almond tofu, his favorite dish.

whenever xiao makes lunch for you, he tries his best to make sure you’ll like them, though expect his dishes to be liyuean kind since it’s the only ones he knows.

if you ever run late from work, you can guarantee that he’ll ride his motorcycle and immediately head towards to your workplace, paying no mind to the strange looks he received from others when entering the building.

it’s a bit worrisome when xiao tends to show his… habits from his crime life. on some occasions, he’d treat you as though you’re his boss and would do extreme measures should you ever express something that isn’t satisfaction.

“i’m sorry for disappointing you.” he said with a sigh, grabbing the kitchen knife to cut his finger off before getting tackled by you.

ever since he moved in with you, it’s safe to say that xiao would be worried that he’ll come across to an enemy, especially if you’re by his side in public at that time.

but never did he expect to come across to his boss at such an unexpected time.

“..rex lapis?” xiao blurts out, eyes slightly widening from the sight of the older man sitting not too far away from your table. “what is he doing in an amusement park?”

you look at where your husband was looking as well, your mouth went agape from the sight of rex lapis. “maybe he’s just going undercover?” you suggested.

right after you said that, a ginger-haired man suddenly sat down beside rex lapis, causing you and xiao to have the same surprised reaction when you both see one drink with two straws in front of the men - who seems to not notice you and xiao staring at them.

you slowly look at your lover. “…would you like to check out that haunted house now— XIAO WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” you panicked when xiao suddenly stands up from his seat with a glare at the ginger-haired man’s direction.

“that filth dares to be with rex lapis after i told him to back off?” he asks before walking towards the two as you trailed behind him with a panicked look.

“xiao, don’t—!”

it’s safe to say that the encounter with xiao’s boss is something the both of you never brought it up, thinking it’s for the best to not think about it.

when it comes to interacting neighbors, xiao never bothered taking to anyone unless someone spoke to him. the only ones he actually talks to were verr goldet and a tired college student who goes by ganyu.

xiao started getting along with the blue haired woman after saving her from getting assaulted by a couple of thugs. when ganyu found out that you and xiao lived not too far away from her home, she immediately visited your home and give you food that she made personally as gratitude for your husband saving her.

“i-i apologize if i’m interrupting you but i-i w-would like to give this to your husband for saving me.” she stammers, handing out the packed food to you. “i hope the both of you like it!”

as for verr goldet, she (alongside her husband) works at a convenience store that never runs out of customers - and xiao is one of those customers. he’s pretty much one of the regular customers of the store.

the woman would be lying if she claims that she wasn’t suspicious of xiao at first. if it weren’t for the apron that he was wearing, verr would’ve thought he’ll do something bad to the store.

it wasn’t until an attempted robbery happened in the afternoon, the robber threatening verr to give him money or else he’ll kill everyone in the store. thankfully, xiao managed to put down the robber as the cops arrive, earning a lot of respect and a new perspective from verr.

since then, xiao earned the whole neighborhood’s respect (with the both of you not knowing why).

on occasions when xiao has a lot of time for himself and has finished all of his tasks, he’d spend some time playing a flute given by a dear acquaintance who also used to work as a yakuza, feeling relaxed and at ease as the music reminds him of you, who’s currently away.

besides that, his other hobbies includes visiting certain areas to check up on stray cats, helping ganyu out with self defense (when she wishes to do it), and if he sees fit, he’ll even watch a couple of horror movies.

of course, no matter how busy he was with everything he has to do, his thoughts are always about you and your wellbeing. he hopes that you’d come home soon enough and lift the house’s atmosphere with your presence alone.

if only he knew you too thought of him whenever you’re working, determined to come home early to see your beloved.

[coexiising]

Midnight Love - Anakin Skywalker

REQUEST ◆ can i request a little something where anakin comes back from a long mission after there were rumors that he was dead, so the reader is super relieved and impatiently waiting to be alone with him? basically fluff where she could take care of his wounds and maybe some passionate sex

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, piv sex, mentions of death, cursing

WORDS ◆ 3.1k

NOTE ◆ im sick but i got the sudden urge to finish this request so!! thank you for requesting!!

If someone was to ask you what love was a year ago, you would insist that you had no idea and tell them to ask someone else. But in the coming months, even in the throws of Civil War raging throughout the entire Galaxy left and right — You had found love. And maybe it wasn’t perfect and not like the fairytales that you used to read when you were a young child but it was yours, and that was all that mattered in the long run. You were in love and so happy.

But right now, all you were was nervous. You had been for almost a week since hearing the news that a rather intense battle had broken out in the Outer Rim, where Anakin Skywalker, the man you were in love with, had been stationed for almost a month now. You were scared and wracked with anxiety of the possibility of something happening to him. You stayed up late at night and tried to calm yourself down, but it was to no use. There was no way of contacting him during the middle of a mission and the only thing you could slightly rely on was the news, which sometimes wasn’t entirely factual.

And then the rumors started.

You weren’t one to rely on the news of gossip or others, though this talk had been spoken about within a rather influential group of politicians, about how The Hero With No Fear was dead. You didn’t want to believe it, it couldn’t be true. Anakin, your Anakin, couldn’t be dead. So you vowed from that day forward that you would only think of him as alive, not going to engage in any conversation until you were sure of his true outcome.

And another rumor spread that the 501st was coming back to Coruscant and again, you tried to ignore it, trying not to get your hopes up on false promises. Still though, you checked your comms where Anakin always contacted you when he was within range, and checked, and checked, and checked until it was becoming somewhat of an addiction. There was no call.

It is now marked two months since you’ve seen Anakin, the days dragging long and boring and the nights cold and lonely. You missed him so much that it was hard to breathe, feeling as though another half of you had been thrown into the wind never to be seen again. He had a job in the Republic and you understood that completely, but it didn’t stop you from wishing that things were different, that you could be together with him without anything pulling you away from one another or that you could just be with him in public in a romantic way rather than platonic.

Your feet took you across the Jedi Temple building, tasked with giving some papers to Senator Padmé Amidala who was briefing with the Council about security in the Senate. The sun shined through the tall windows as you walked, illuminating the pathway and red carpets. You made your way up the steps and that’s when you stopped dead in your tracks.

You weren’t sure if you were making things up in your mind, if you missed Anakin so much that your mind was playing tricks on you. But at the end of the hall you could swear that was Anakin, walking with . . . That was Ahsoka. So that had to be —

“Anakin,” You spoke out loud, low like a whisper to yourself. It was Anakin, standing at the other end of the hall. You felt your balance go out for a moment and you were almost sent toppling down the stairs until you caught yourself. Your heart rate picked up and it took everything in you not to run up into his arms, knowing that you were all being watched in the Temple and there was no way to have alone time with him no matter how much you wanted to.

You walked at a faster pace now, coming within range of his eyesight and Anakin’s features immediately softened upon looking at you, a small smile making its way onto his face that you reciprocated, hoping to not gain the attention from his Padawan learner. When finally, finally you were only a foot in front of him, you felt at ease again. Anakin was alright, he didn’t die or get gravely injured like the news always made things out to be. He was here and although you could see cuts and bruises on his face that have seemingly gotten uncared for yet, you were more relieved than you had ever felt in your life. It had been too long without him, you supposed, too long without his touch or his love.

Ahsoka was the first to speak up. “Hi, Y/N, what’re you doing here?” Her tone was happy, which led you to believe that whatever they did in the Outer Rim turned out successful. You loved Ahsoka, but right now you wished that it was just you and Anakin.

“Just getting Senator Amidala some papers, Ahsoka, how was your mission?” You asked, eyes darting from her to Anakin, who looked at you with soft, longing eyes.

“It was . . . Stressful. But Master Skywalker led the whole 501st by himself!” Ahsoka exclaimed, giving her Master a grin. You couldn’t help but smile, thinking about the fearless leader and how passionate he was about helping the Republic. How he was yours, all yours and he loved you just as much, if not more, than you did him.

A few more words were exchanged before Anakin said, “Why don’t you go get some rest, Ahsoka. You deserve it.” It seemed as though Ahsoka didn’t need to be told twice, the girl saying a quick goodbye and walking off in the other direction. Now it was you and Anakin in the hallway, looking into each other's eyes as if you were both having a silent conversation between one another without any movement. You weren’t sure what to say, actions spoke louder than words anyways and all you wanted was to be near him, be in his arms so that the fist of anxiety clenching your heart was finally gone.

He had a small smile on his face that made your heart warm, one that you reciprocated and looked around to make sure that no one was eavesdropping. In the Temple you were never really sure how far your talking would go, if others could hear the whispers spoken between you two from other hallways. There was no one there, thankfully.

“I’m sorry I-”

“When will-”

You two spoke at the same time, making a laugh erupt from the both of you. You took a moment to admire him, thinking about how much you missed the little things about him like his laugh. “You go first,” You told him.

Anakin nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming back. I wanted to make it somewhat of a surprise but then you were here and . . .” He trailed off. You shook your head and flashed a smile, signalling that all was fine. You found it endearing that he was planning on surprising you, it seemed as though you were on his mind the whole time as much as he was on yours.

“It’s okay,” You said. “When will you be able to stop by my apartment?” That is where you usually stayed when he was on Coruscant and he could get away, since it was way easier having Anakin sneak out of the Temple there instead of him sneaking you into the Temple. You had to admit that now that you knew he was here, your anxiousness got worse, wanting him all to yourself as quickly as possible.

“I still have to report to the Council. Then I’m all yours. An hour?”

“It’s a date.”

~

The waiting was excruciating even though it was only an hour. It was almost as if waiting for an extra sixty minutes was worse than the extended time you had just been away from him. Perhaps it was because you knew that he was here, alive and well, and wanted to see you just as badly as you wanted to see him. You tried passing the time looking through the holonet, and then deciding to take a quick shower to wash off anything from today.

Opening your drawer and putting on the last of your outfit, some black lounge sweatpants, you heard a knock on the front door of your apartment and your heart practically leapt out of your chest. You needed to remember to give Anakin a key sometime soon, knowing that this wasn’t going to be the last time he came over and he almost practically lived here whenever he was on Coruscant. You walked and opened the door, being met with Anakin’s smiling face and big, strong arms wrapping around your frame, walking both of you backwards as his foot kicked the door behind him closed.

You leaned into his touch, memorizing all that you could from this moment for later. His soft, plush curly hair brushing against your cheek, the smell of fresh breeze and some type of floral scent that was most likely his body wash. It was so inherently Anakin and you were surrounded by it, you loved it. You loved him.

“I missed you so much,” He spoke first, pulling away to make eye contact. His blue eyes looked down at you and you couldn’t help but lean up and press a small kiss to his lips, the smile on your face growing wider as you pulled away. Your eyes scanned his face, taking note of a few cuts and bruises that littered it, almost causing you to frown.

Your hand came up and brushed against one, it seemed freshly afflicted. You weren’t exactly sure what the mission he had gone through was about, he would most likely tell you later when both of you got settled. “I missed you too, Ani,” You said. “Do you want me to look at this cut?” It wasn’t as though you were a medic by any means, but basic first aid wasn’t that hard and all you really needed to do was clean it and any others he let you look at.

He didn’t respond with words, only nodding and allowing you to grab his hand and lead him to the bedroom. Your kit was in the bathroom connected to it, quickly grabbing the small white box and sitting down on the bed next to him, getting to work.

“What happened while you were away?” You asked, making conversation as you got the materials out of the box. “These cuts look recent.”

Anakin shrugged his large shoulders, a usual response when you asked about his injuries whenever he came home. This wasn’t new behavior, he always seemed like he was as tough as nails, but it didn’t take much to see that he was tired and glad to be home. The home that was your arms.

As usual, the two of you exchanged some small talk while you tended to his wounds, rubbing the cloth with the antiseptic and covering up the ones along his arms that needed bandages. Bacta worked best for the bruises, covering them up with the oil that would have them healed in as fast as a day or two. Once everything had been looked at, you put the materials back into the box and placed it on the nightstand next to your bed, reaching over to Anakin to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. He came to lay down and pulled you close to him, both of you sitting in the silence for a moment.

“There were so many rumors that you had gotten into too much trouble on your mission. Some people were even saying that you were dead,” You muttered, a small, tiny bit of concern lacing your words. Anakin could feel your worry through the Force and in response, held you even tighter against him. “I didn’t want to believe them, but then you were gone longer than normal and I don’t know. . . I just get so scared sometimes with your line of work.”

Anakin sighed. “There was a setback in the mission and we needed to take caution so that we wouldn’t lose many people. But it’s alright, I’m here with you now. You know that I’ll always come back to you.”

“I know, Ani.”

You turned to face him, the covers shifting comfortably under you. You pressed your lips against his again, relishing in the feeling of having him back all to yourself. You wished that you could keep him here forever, in your large apartment away from the judgement of society: The Senate that expected you to stay away from scandal, and the Jedi Order that prevented Anakin from having any attachment whatsoever. It was a hard world out there, but you were grateful that you were with Anakin through it, you couldn’t imagine being with another person.

Sensing a bit of urgency in your kisses to get as much of him as you possibly could, Anakin responded with the same passion, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek and the gloved one coming to push himself on top of you. Your legs wrapped around his waist and trapped him against you while the two of you kissed. Your hands reached for his hair and tugged, spurring him forward and biting your bottom lip with a groan.

He detached his lips from your own and instead began kissing along your jawline, stopping for a second to inhale the scent of yours that he missed more than anything. And then he started again, kissing all the way down your neck and deciding to leave a tiny mark on a part of your collarbone that would be somewhat easier to conceal. It was rare that he did leave the marks this high up, but in this urgency he couldn’t seem to control himself all that much. You wined out, pushing your hips forward and meeting his own.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” He muttered in between kisses against your neck, hand moving down and coming to the edge of your work blouse, working to get it off of you as fast as he could but stopping for a moment to make sure that you wanted to go farther. You fervently nodded, helping him in taking your shirt off and throwing it down onto the ground near your bed. Quickly, you did the same thing with his shirt, untucking it from his pants and the moment it was off you ran your hands along his torso, marveling in the fine edges of his body. “All I could think was coming back to you and now that I’m finally here I’m blown away by how beautiful you are.” His words made you blush, as well as send a shock downward towards your core.

You needed him, you simply couldn’t wait anymore. You had waited for too long and you weren’t in the business of stopping any time soon and it was clear that he felt the same way. While you were waiting for him to come home, it wasn’t too apparent how much you truly missed him because after a while you found some other ways to occupy yourself. But now that he was here, all those feelings of want were coming back to you and you couldn’t help but start to speed up the process.

“Anakin, please, I need you now. I can’t wait anymore,” You whispered to him, loving the way that his lips felt while they kissed every single inch of your chest. You wanted to slow down and at the same time wanted to speed up, it was an odd feeling. But there would be more moments for the both of you to take it slow, now you just wanted to satiate the feeling that was growing rapidly in your core. He laughed at this, coming to meet your eyes with his own as they had a hint of teasing behind them. You gave him a small smile, but your eyes were glossed over with a type of lust and wanting that you were sure he could tell that you were serious.

In a matter of mere seconds, both of your pants and undergarments were off and he was getting into a more comfortable position on top of you, and you were spreading your legs open and just waiting for him. Anakin took one look down between your legs and muttered some type of curse in Huttese that you couldn’t understand and before you spoke to ask, he was pushing into you.

It felt like bliss.

The moment you adjusted to him and your walls relaxed, he began moving, slowly out and then plunging back into you with intensity. He continued that motion a few times, each making you moan out his name and flying your hands back into his hair, tugging on the golden, curled locks. You moaned out and it was louder than you were expecting, but it seemed to be exactly what he wanted to hear because he started going faster. You could hear the wet sloshing between the two of you and it only made you closer to that peak and the fire within you was almost raging.

Anakin kept kissing your neck until he went up and started kissing your lips. It was a sloppy kiss, all of his concentration was bent on making you feel good but you appreciated it, since you could feel all the love that he was giving you. You matched his pace, lifting up your hips to meet his when they came down and he hit at an even more deeper angle, both of you gasping into one another's mouths.

“Anakin, I’m going to-”

“Me too.”

Your orgasm snuck up on you and placed itself right onto your core, and with one more thrust you felt yourself release and your eyes rolled back into your head. For a moment it felt like you weren’t on Coruscant and you had flown up into the sky, that was how good it felt to be with him again. When you came back to reality, with a roll of your hips, Anakin was right behind you, releasing inside of you. Both of you stirred and he laid down on top of you, breathing heavily to try and catch his breath. Your hands rubbed up and down his back, fingers tracing inconsistent patterns along his skin.

A few more moments passed by and Anakin rose his head up, pressing a small kiss to your nose that made you smile. He also smiled, nuzzling into your neck.

“The second I catch my breath, we should go again.”

It was good to be back.

[fairyoftbz]

childish fear | l. juyeon

⚔ pairing: stranger!juyeon x single mom! fem! reader ⚔ genre: fluff ⚔ wc : 3.2k ⚔ tw: none ⚔ a/n: im so sorry it's been so long but my work keeps me super busy and i hate my unposted fics that i wrote in the past, hence my absence. i promise to come back here asap!! <33 ⚔ requested: no

╰☆☆☆☆╮

“Mommy, where are we going?” your daughter asked for the nth time as you guided her foot by the ankle in her shoe. Her tiny hand leant on your shoulder while you fastened the Velcro straps and zipped up her jacket, walking out of your apartment to the corridor of your floor. She watched you locked the front door and sliding the keys in your handbag before grabbing her hand to the elevator.

“As I’ve told you, we’re heading to a coffee shop to see Uncle Kevin and Jinseon, remember?” she clapped in her hands as if she just learnt the news, despite her asking this question over five times since she woke up. You forgave her because she was at the age where she would find everything fascinating and barely pay attention to what you said. You chuckled and shook your head with a smile as her curious eyes observed the elevator, touching the mirror and gasping at the coldness of it under her palm. It was almost guaranteed that she didn’t listen and will ask again in a couple of minutes.

“Where are we going?” here we go again, her tiny voice reaching your ear above the roaring motor of the bus. She grabbed your leg as you were typing something on your phone with one hand, the other gripping the metallic bar as tight as possible as your daughter was not the most balanced child.

“Baby, I’ve told you many times that we are going to see Kevin and Jinseon at the coffee shop because Mommy and Uncle Kevin have to do something for work,” you looked at her with stern eyes, something you always did when she wasn’t paying attention.

“But why aren’t we going to their house? It’s so big!” she argued, and the bus doors opened, quickly sliding your phone in your back pocket and jumped out of the bus with your daughter in your arms.

“Uncle Kevin wants to change the interior of the house, so people work there, and it’s not safe for them and us to meet there. But I promise that we’ll go back there soon!”

“I won’t be able to draw with Jinseon?” you shook your head from side to side, and your daughter pouted, nuzzling her face in your neck.

“Not at his house, but maybe he brought a colouring book like yours today!” you exclaimed, and her mood lifted instantly, getting all giddy and happy to share her passion with her best friend.

Pushing the door of the coffee shop, you were instantly met with a reassuring warmth and the good smell of coffee, placing your daughter back on the ground as you lined up to order. The place was quite busy, but you were right before the time people were fighting to get a table.

“Mommy, this table!” she asked and pointed her little finger towards a table near the window, her little topknot moving on her head as she looked up at you.

“Good choice, baby,” you said, and she grabbed your hand again, noticing her gaze shifting to something scared. You frowned as she went to stand in front of you, her hands gripping your thighs as she stared up at you.

You asked for your usual order and a strawberry smoothie for your daughter, who happily giggled when she saw the sliced fruit inside of her transparent cup. She laughed and ran to the table you had agreed on occupying, her little hands pressed on the seat as she hoisted herself alone on it.

A few minutes after giving your daughter her pens and colouring books, your phone rang in your back pocket, getting you out of your bubble of focus as you stopped typing.

“Hello?” you said, and your best friend’s voice reached your ear.

“Hi Y/N, I’m really sorry to warn you only now, but I won’t be able to make it with Jinseon.” A wave of disappointment flooded your heart, but you didn’t raise it.

“Oh my. Did something happen?” you asked as your daughter was too busy colouring a monkey pink to even hear what you were talking about.

“Thankfully no, I uhm… I forgot that my in-laws invited us to a five-star restaurant today,” he said, and you bitterly chuckled, feeling sorry for him as you knew the exhausting relationship he had with them.

“Sounds fun,” you sarcastically said as you heard him sigh on the other side of the phone, “don’t worry, we can always meet up another time.”

“Won’t Chunae be disappointed?” Kevin asked, and you emitted a laugh, quickly looking to the side as someone at the table next to yours drew a chair.

“I’ll handle her, don’t worry about it. Have fun with your most favourite people in the world, then!” you sarcastically said, and you heard him sigh.

“Thanks, but I’d rather die than witnessing my mother-in-law brag again about the new diamond necklace she bought and lie on how she’s not close to bankrupting,” you giggled and winked at your daughter, amused by the situation. That was what you got to have your stepson handling the family accounts and his best friend as an assistant counsellor. You both could see her lie to everyone, and it was funny.

“Try to make her understand that you know she’s lying in front of everyone else and see how she reacts,” you suggested and heard him gasp at your words.

“I beg you Y/N, can you please schedule us an appointment so I can ruin her?”

“Of course,” you opened another tab on your computer, typing and clicking on a few things to finally get to your best friend’s schedule.

“You can tell her that she can come on Friday at 1 pm to discuss about her financial state. I just sent her an email,” you announced, and Kevin sighed, imagining him biting his lower lip and clutch his fist in satisfaction.

“You’re the best. I gotta go now,” you took a sip of your drink and wished him good luck before hanging up.

“M-Mommy?” you heard your daughter whisper, barely making out her words as the coffee shop music and the hustling was quite loud. You smiled, but it immediately vanished as you saw her scared state, pen lingering on the pages of her colouring book. Her eyes were drawn to the table next to yours, her mouth trembling from time to time, close to crying.

Following her gaze, you noticed a man around your age and immediately understood your daughter’s fear as you took in the sight. The man was scrolling on his phone, his white t-shirt hugging his broad shoulders and slender torso perfectly. His biceps flexed each time he swiped up his finger on the screen or took a sip of coffee, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. You weren’t going to lie that he was super handsome, but something else couldn’t go unnoticed in your eyes.

His tattoos.

He was covered in them. Your eyes could scarcely spot some natural, intact skin. Arms, forearms, chest and neck, only his face remained untouched. His jet-black hair was as dark as his eyes, yet they still held something soft and human in them. A thin nose with plumped, pinkish lips, it would have been almost impossible for you to guess that he had tattoos all over his body if you only saw his face.

You found him quite attractive to say the least, but it was quite the opposite for your daughter. She found tattoos terrifying, only accepting the small, hidden ones Kevin had. Her eyes welled up with tears, and you gently called her name, gesturing her to come closer. She jumped out of her seat, carefully going around the table from the opposite side where the man was sitting and walked towards you.

“Baby, those are just tattoos. You see what you draw and colour in your books with Jinseon? This man decided to do it on his skin because he likes drawings too!” you explained gently as your daughter couldn’t tear her gaze off the man.

“But it’s scary,” she mumbled, and you shook your head, gently cradling her cheek.

“Do you find the drawings on Uncle Kevin’s skin scary?” you asked, and she disagreed, finally looking up at you.

“It’s the same for him. Like Uncle Kevin, he decided to get them on his skin because he likes the shapes and colours. Do you understand?” you smiled as she wiped her teary eyes, nodding, trying to look confident. But you knew your daughter, she was still scared.

“Do you want to switch seats with Mommy?”

“No,” she said in a frail voice, and you kissed her cheek while rubbing her back. It was always the same. Bizarrely, when she feared something, she wanted to stay close to it as if she was determined of getting over her irrational fear.

Chunae walked back on her seat and resumed colouring, her gaze looking to her left from time to time. You smiled and stared at your computer again, getting distracted by the man as well, but not for the same reasons as your daughter.

“You’re a mother Y/N, don’t let those stupid thoughts get inside your head,” you closed your eyes and mentally slapped yourself, heavily sighing as you answered some emails, focusing back on your work.

You were so concentrated on your tasks that you didn’t even notice what was happening in front of you. Chunae became terrified as the man caught her staring, his eyes transforming into crescent moons when he softly waved at her. Her eyes widened and started colouring faster, her nose almost touching the paper as if she wanted everything around her to disappear. It happened once, twice, but she remembered what you always told her; never talk to strangers. So when the young man whispered a small ‘hi!’ to her, she panicked and called for you.

“Mommy!” she got you out of your work bubble, and you stared at her from above your computer screen, fingers still typing on the computer. Your hands stopped when you noticed her little forefinger pointing at the man, whose chocolate eyes were quick to shift to yours.

Shit, he was really handsome.

“What is it, sweetpea?” you asked and lowered your computer screen. “I’m sorry for her behaviour, she's not usually like that,” you said, grabbing her hand as you sent an apologetic smile to the man.

He shook his head with a smile. “Don’t worry about it, I get it. She’s still quite young,” you were sized by a shiver when two sets of white, perfectly aligned teeth almost blinded you as his mouth stretched into a bigger smile.

“I’m five!” she said, pouting, crossing her arms on her chest, staring at the table with furrowed brows.

The young man’s eyes widened, and pursed his lips, trying to hold back a smile as he acknowledged her stubbornness. You puffed and rolled your eyes at her behaviour, noticing with a smirk that she was still glancing at his tattoos.

“What’s your name?” he asked after looking at you, asking for permission. Your daughter’s unsure eyes stared at you, and you nodded, allowing her to talk to him.

“Ch-Chunae,” she answered, and his mouth transformed into a surprised ‘o’, letting out a small gasp.

“That’s a very pretty name, I’m Juyeon,” he said, and your daughter blushed, a veil of shyness appearing in her eyes as he held out his hand for her to shake it. You smiled as he indirectly complimented you for choosing her name, his gaze softening as she timidly grabbed his hand. Her eyes couldn’t help but scrutinise his tattooed hand with attention, making the man smile fondly and brightly.

“I have drawings all over my arms, do you want to see them?” he asked, keeping a great eye on you to see any sign of reluctance. Or maybe it was for something else, but you didn’t need to know about this.

“But they’re scary,” she said, and Juyeon whole-heartedly laughed, drawing the sleeve of his t-shirt to the top of his shoulder.

“Look at this one,” he said as he twisted his biceps, noticing a dragon spitting fire and your daughter’s eyes widened. He then turned his forearm to show her a dolphin near the crook of his elbow, smiling as he watched your daughter’s expression change as she saw all his tattoos on his arms. She was now mesmerised by the tattoos, the gentle, deep voice of the man explaining to her as she stared at his inked arms.

“Do you wanna colour this one?” he asked, finger showing the rose on the back of his hand.

“Really?” Chunae was surprised by his question, and Juyeon smiled at you, your daughter already grabbing her red pen.

“You really don’t have to,” you embarrassingly said, but the man shook his head, resting his large hand in front of your daughter, who pushed all her belongings to the side.

“If that can keep her quiet while you work, I don’t mind,” he stated, and you raised your eyebrows, a grateful smile drawn on your face.

Colouring the red rose ended up inking the poor man’s entire arm, who had a lot of patience and discipline when it came to children. Chunae went over the line with her pen a few times, only to have him reassure and praise her to continue when she started feeling guilty.

“Oh no!” she gasped as her hand clumsily went over the scales of the snake circling his forearm, Juyeon chuckling before wetting his thumb to erase the misdrawn ink. “It’s okay, it’s okay, keep going,” he said in a gentle tone, smiling at your daughter as she was looking for reassurance.

You had told him a few times that he didn’t have to stay the entire day only here to occupy your daughter, but he genuinely was alright with that. He looked almost happy to talk with you and your daughter since you had stopped working a few moments ago to exchange a few words of politeness with him before heading home.

“Chunae, finish your smoothie before we go home,” you said, and she obeyed, nodding as she placed her pen down and started sipping on her drink.

“I’m really sorry for this,” you gestured to his arms, but he was quick to cut you.

“Ma’am, it's okay, please stop apologising, I gave my agreement for her to do this. You seem like busy parents with your husband, I’m glad I could help,” he smiled, and you frowned.

“H-Husband?” you asked and Juyeon’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“O-oh? Wasn’t it your husband on the phone?” you shook your head at his words, only to have him purse his lips in utter embarrassment. “Sorry for assuming,” he said, the tip of his ears turning pink just like his cheeks.

“It’s okay, it was my best friend. I’m actually a single mom,” you explained, and he nodded, his features expressing admiration.

“Wow, you must be super strong then,” he said, and you blinked a few times, discerning something sad appearing in his eyes as he stared at your daughter. It was inappropriate and way too intrusive to ask him about his reaction, so you just offered him a grateful smile.

“I have to admit that it’s not always easy being alone in this, but with a bit of discipline and organisation, you can manage to make it work!” you tried to enlighten the mood, and Juyeon laughed along, but his smile had lost its splendour.

He cleared his throat, and you stood up, your daughter being finally done with her smoothie. You helped her place her pens in the pouch before clearing your belongings off the table, Juyeon standing up as well.

“Will I get to colour your tattoos again?” Chunae asked, and you looked at her sternly, but Juyeon laughed and smiled, gently ruffling her hair.

“This only depends on if your Mommy wants to see me again,” Juyeon crouched down to her level and made sure to get her hair out of the way before zipping her light jacket up to the chin.

You were taken aback by his answer, looking at him in the eyes. Vaguely smiling, he stood back up and stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets, thumbs playing with the belt loops as he waited for your answer. You breathed in heavily as you stared around you but in his eyes, trying to find an excuse.

“I mean… why not?” you eventually said, and his face brightened, his ears going pink at your answer. You grabbed your daughter’s hand as she was about to run to Juyeon and walked to the exit of the coffee shop, not believing what you’ve just agreed to.

Meeting a man? After your ex? With all the work and busy life that you had? Were you crazy?

Juyeon held out the door for you, and you thanked him, your daughter now almost best friend with the man she feared when he appeared. You sighed and replaced your bag on your shoulder, offering a soft smile to the man.

“Is it okay if we wait a bit before all of... this? I have the deadline of a big project that is coming up next week and it has a considerable influence on the future of my career, I really don’t want to mess it up,” you explained, and Juyeon nodded, his hand going to your bag to shove your key ring back inside since it was falling out.

“It’s more than okay, I’ll wait as long as it takes you to finish this and be ready to meet up with me,” he said, and your mouth fell open, surprised by his attitude. The last man you dated and loved unconditionally dropped the family he had created with you for a career abroad and another woman, his words and behaviour offering warmth to your broken, lonely heart.

You got your phone out and took Juyeon’s number, a relieved smile painted on your face. Maybe not all the men were as selfish and nasty as your ex.

“Call me if you need anything. It can be help, someone to look after her, comfort. Whatever you need, I’ll try to help you out as much as I can,” he said and rested a hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing it.

“Thank you,” you said, and he nodded with a smile.

“Good luck with everything,” you beamed and waved at him, your daughter imitating you as you started walking to the bus stop, hailing the vehicle as it was approaching.

Juyeon walked in the opposite way to the small parking lot in front of the coffee shop, his leg swinging over his motorcycle. He sat there for a minute, watching you get on the bus before the doors closing behind you, holding his helmet in hand. You were a busy, ambitious woman, you had set your priorities high, and you were not going to change them for a man. He was a bit scared of committing to a relationship with a busy woman and a child, yet that didn’t prevent him from wanting to get to know you and finding you attractive. He loved it even if he was a bit anxious about getting hurt, as it happened in his past way too many times to his likings.

His gloved hand moved side to side as the bus drove past him, your daughter on your hip as you both waved at him. The smile you had plastered on your face reassured him, hoping that you would give his heart a break and not break it.

[kaebedom-me]

may i have a sub!reader nsfw headcannons or really anything 🥺👉👈 i just want the boys to use me dkdjfjsiskdnfk -⭐

sub!reader + the boys using you coming right tf up star nonnie!!!!

listen, they do be loving sweet little subs that will listen and do everything that they want

they love!! this type of play, i’d say most of the sex are these types of kink play, but it sways occasionally

it’s never dull sex with them. ever. period

i mentioned before that childe and kaeya likes giving out punishments, but they prefer if you were sweet and obedient

nothing wrong with a little sass and brattiness sprinkled into your sex lives, they’re not exactly angels themselves, but when you’re all pliant and sweet? tsk, there’s a difference between a good little slut and their good little slut

something about you obeying trusting them completely really turns them on

the type of sex you three engage in depends on what type of play y’all are doing. sometimes its dom/sub, master/pet, hunter/prey, dd/lg the likes

it’s never really discussed? you usually have to adjust accordingly when they’re in a mood

oof, and they’re so in sync with each other too like they take one glance at each other and they just know what the other person wants

of course, if you’re being bratty or obedient they’ll adjust accordingly but more often than not, they’ve set the mood for you and before you realise it you’ve been acting a certain way because Kaeya has been orchestrating things

Ch💙ya using you,,, gods, you’re never going to catch a break

them being in tune with each other means them taking each other’s shifts and having their turn with you

by the time they’re done with you, you’re damn near passing out from the amounts of orgasms, or lack thereof

it’s because they’re taking turns, they’re lasting for so god damn long 

they will not give you a break, they’re pretty in tuned with you too, they know when you need to stop and when they can keep pushing

that being said, every time y’all have one of those intense sessions, they always push you a little further than the last

be it mentally keeping count of how many orgasms you’ve had, if it’s your second time passing out, or your fourth time squirting; you can bet the next time they’ll aim for more

they’re also always trying new things with you! toys, positions, costumes, kinks anything. they’re already kinky on their own but together? you might one day be able to say you’ve tried almost all the kinks

(of course they talk to you about it outside of bed, they’re not monsters) (they do surprise you though, never want you to think it’s coming up next, keep you on your toes)

sometimes,,, they feel like they both want to have you at the same time 

they’ll prep you don't worry, and you will have a good time

im talking double penetration babes

god you thought you were tired before, you’re gonna lose your god damn mind

double penetration is also their favourite, purely because it truly feels like you three are together

you feeling them rubbing against each other inside you, their timed thrust and undying attention towards your neck, back, chest, anything they can get their hands on

they also really like the feeling of each other cocks being wrapped so tightly in you, honestly there’s nothing better

sure spitroasting is fun, but you scrambling to hold onto something as they time their thrusts just right so you feel them in the deepest parts of you and hearing your unobstructed grabbled moans of their names

easily the top 10 things they love to do

when you eventually get tired and they have to hold you up they get so excited it’s unreal

Kaeya would usually be the one to hold you while Childe thrusts harder and faster in attempt to get them both to orgasm

they never really last too long after either

[secretbangtnn]

summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Horse info 101

A horse girl’s guide to the basics for fic writing with an important and lively horse involved:

This got kinda long I’m kinda sorry but not at all lol 

There's three basic gaits (speeds with different patterns of hoof-fall/leg movements

Walking is the slowest and is a four beat gait, meaning each foot hits the ground at a different time. Usually the same pace as a walking human when the horse is calm. Some breeds can walk HELLA fast though. Most horses will fill the same spot/hole where their front hoof was with their back hoof on the same side. If they overstep they clip their fetlock (joint lookin bit above the hoof) or pastern (bit between the hoof and fetlock) and can injure themselves. 

Now trotting. The middle gait, a person can jog next to a trot at a comfortable pace but if you push them a little horses can trot faster than your average HS track endurance athlete. Once again some breeds can trot HELLA fast. This is a two beat gait in that two diagonally opposite legs are moving in unison. In some english saddles (I’ll get into that later if we have class time) it’s easier to post while the horse is trotting rather than sit for the gait. That just means you stand up in the irons (stirrups on an english saddle, we’ll also cover that later) at the same time that one of the front legs moves forward. 

Also, see how the trotting horse’s head looks? That’s how they travel when they’re relaxed and attentive. The tucked head thing you see Roach doing is because there’s tension on the reigns and Henry learned to ride for an english seat not a western pleasure seat (might get into those but they’re really not important)

Time for the Canter/Lope. This is a three beat gait so that means two legs are moving in unison and the other two are not. Horses canter/lope fast. This is the go-time gait. Some performance/dressage horses are trained to canter extremely slow but if we’re talking transportation trained horses they’re not gonna be that kind of slow. Your average human is not gonna be able to keep up with this for long if at all. This varies in speed too. There's a rather casual canter seen in the gif directly below, then below that is the balls to the wall canter/lope that most horse people just refer to as a run. That’s as fast as they can go.

Basic tack names

Halter + Lead/Lead Rope - these can be made of rope, leather, nylon (more modern) but the halter is generally used for leading and tying.

Bridle - this is the one that you use while you ride, it holds the bit in their mouth. There’s millions of different types of bridles but they’re usually made out of leather even now. sometimes you get rope/nylon ones but I don’t trust them.

Reins - connect to the bit and you use them to steer and control speed. Horses trained in western or one handed riding will ‘neck rein’ which means if you move your hand to the right and the left rein brushes their neck they will move to the right.

Bit - the metal piece in the horses mouth. most english riding bits are broken (joint in the middle) and most western ones are solid. there’s a gap behind the horse’s front teeth and that’s where the metal sits. Some horses have smaller mouths than others and do better with solid bits because the ‘broken’ ones will hit the top of their mouth and hurt. There’s also things called ‘shanks’ on some bits which are just longer pieces of metal that attach to the sides of the pieces in their mouth and point downward. This gives the rider more leverage and makes any tug on the reins stronger. (google “Horse bit shank” if this doesn’t make sense)

Saddle - you sit in it. simple right? wrong. There’s two main types of saddles, Western - with the horn like you see in the running gif, and English- the loping gif without the horn. The saddles used in the Witcher look like the pre-english saddle versions but the basic parts you need to know are the same. The part where you ass goes? that’s the seat. the part right in front of your crotch? That’s the pomel. that’s your ‘oh shit handle’ if anything goes screwy (other than the mane). The part that sticks up and keeps your ass in place? That’s the cantle. I like western saddles SO MUCH MORE but i also grew up mainly riding western so im biased. 

Stirrups/Irons - stirrups and irons are where your feet go. In western saddles they’re called stirrups and they’ve got wider decorative leather flaps (called fenders, also originally added to protect trousers/legs from the horse sweat and the buckles of the cinch) and on english saddles they’re called irons because they are usually made of iron and rather slim. Geralt’s irons look pretty similar to modern ones, slim leather straps, minimal iron (or steel or any other strong metal really). Traditional english riders have knee high boots like you see in regency costumes which removes the need for the fenders like on western saddles. 

Cinch/girth - this is what keeps the saddles on. You take a strap and attach it to one side of the saddle, run it under the belly right behind their front legs and attach it to the other side. Its usually made of a strong fabric with wool or some kind of softer lining for western riding. English riding uses a leather one most of the time though this horse girl hates them because they’re harder to cinch up. English saddles use buckles while Western saddles use another leather strap to run through the chinch/girth buckle and you either tie it off or use it like a belt. 

Chest strap - this keeps the saddle from sliding backwards. It’s attached to both sides of the saddle by buckles and between the front legs its attached to the cinch/girth. this is pretty universal but not always used. Geralt uses one though. 

Saddle pad - goes under the saddle to protect the baby’s back and whithers (spot where the neck meets the back and the mane ends)

Tacking up and untacking takes time. This is usually 5-10 minutes when done at a leisure pace and done right.

Basic grooming

Brush down before tacking up - you don’t want stuff chaffing the pony while you ride

brush after untacking- helps clear skin of irritants and feels nice

Shedding scraper/curry comb to get rid of shedding hair - if you want a pic of these just google them I think I’m close to the pic limit for my post. 

HOOF PICK - keep the baby's feet clean and clear if rocks so they don't bruise but also so nothing get infected

Yes, plz brush their mane it gets MATTED - a hairbrush works but a wide tooth comb is best

Horses roll to itch their backs and clean off, sounds counterintuitive with the dirt but it works

Shaving a little spot for the bridle to sit is pretty modern but it's easier for everyone involved

Horse Colors- guys roach is not brown she’s a chestnut color

The only thing I have to add to this is that the “Leopard” one is called “appaloosa” in the US at least, and “Pinto” is also reffered to as “Paint” and there’s all sorts of different patterns that you can see. also i want a buckskin so bad. yes i was obsessed with Spirit as a child why do you ask?

Travel care of your babies

Horses CAN and have subsisted off roadside grasses and grazing at night BUT it's good for them to get a lil something extra ESPECIALLY if you’re keeping them in a stall at night where they can’t graze.

Hay and grains like cracked wheat, oats, barley and the like are commonly found in horse feed. Also a lil drizzle of molasses is chock full of calories and all my horses LOVE the taste.

also while we’re talking food: some horses cant keep all the juice/bits in their mouth when they eat apples (we fondly call it making applesauce) or other treats/veg. Yes it gets all over your hand, yeah its kinda gross, but there’s worse things.

Shoes. Babe's need horse shoes. Especially if they're walking over rocks and roads.

Throwing a shoe (when it comes off on accident) is painful sometimes and if left un-dealt with can affect their joints and spine. Imagine walking around in one heeled shoe and one athletic shoe all day. Ow.

On that note though, on lighter travel seasons it's nice to give their hooves a break from shoes (also cheaper)

Horse moods:

horse mood ear chart here: I cant add much tbh

If a horse is comfortable/happy/relaxed they will ‘chew’ on nothing. Just kina a little lip smack type deal. My horse’s bottom lip would hang a couple centimeters below his top one when he was relaxed and I would put my chapstick in it while I fussed with other things.

When a horse is uncomfrotable/scared/tense their lips get sealed tight. I call it ‘fish butt lips’ bc they’re watertight and NOTHING is getting in there. 

Stamping hooves can be a few things. Antsy and ready to roll, nervous, deadass scared, or playful/excited. 

A full whinny is communication - saying hi, warning, scared, etc.

the really soft whinny is called a nicker and its my favorite sound okay? that’s little soft communication and its usually reserved for times when they’re comfortable.

When they’re really relaxed they’ll cock one of their back legs kinda how we shift our weight to one hip. 

general fun facts:

Some horses fake limp when they don’t want to work bc they are lazy and smart and realize their person will get off and check them out and maybe even give them a rest. 

You do a preliminary leg injury test by running your hands slowly over their legs and checking for hot spots - inflammation caused by injury is warm

Basic horse saftey is never stand directly in front of the horse if theres a possibility of spooking, if you’re gonna walk behind them walk out of reach of their hooves or right up against that ass. If they cant get a good wind up it wont do as much damage (on that note though I rode/trained horses for 18 years and was only kicked once by a foal). 

It’s kinda common sense not to walk/sidestep between your horses legs and under their belly but we do it all the time bc its a trust thing? adrenaline? its fun?

laying on your horse’s back sans saddle, and facing their butt is so nice okay, that ass is soft and cushy and perfect for a nap. I miss laying on my horses while they ate like this every damn day. 

Horses can sense your moods. Not unlike the whole ‘witchers smelling you’ thing. They can feel a difference in the tension on the reins and in your posture when you’re tense or relaxed.

Some horses will take care of their riders, some are absolute shits and push the limits for funsies. Some horses will only behave for people they’re used to too. Some horses have trauma from being mistreated and will have triggers kinda like people do. We had a horse who would freak the fuck out if anyone walked around with a red had but as soon as you took it off she was the most level headed horse we had.

A good portion of horses (Who aren’t scared of children) will behave better with kiddos or novice riders because they feel they’re nervous.

If they hurt while they’re moving they usually limp but sometimes they’ll buck. It’s their defense mechanism. 

Horses can’t sleep for too long laying down because their body weight will collapse their lungs. Most horses sleep standing up.

They can sit like a dog and it’s hella cute. 

Stung by bees? Most horses will take off at a dead sprint bucking and hopping unless you’ve done a lot of trust work/training with them

They also run and jump and buck and rear to play.

If theres two horses in a pasture together one will chew at the other’s whithers (or anywhere else) to ask them to scratch them the same way. its very cute and they sometimes try this with people.

horses hug. I cry. 

the whole deal with the rider/horse relationship is it’s a mutual trust you’re building. They let you sit on their back and do weird shit and you trust them not to throw you.  

Thank you for coming to class today! If there’s any questions feel free to message me! I’m not kidding I wanna answer your questions and I miss my horses so this is fun for me.

@elliestormfound​ here it is boo! lol 

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Tom Holland x zendaya cousin reader where she’s an actress and model /activist she meets Tom on set and reader and z talk about people forcing them to be in competition with each other and people saying z is better because she’s lighter ( colorism) and reader thinks Tom likes white blondes but nope (spoiler ) z Tom and reader start hanging out besides being on set Tom and reader get close they go out to a party and reader and Tom hookup smut (like rough👀)

OOP-

Warnings: SMUT- It wasn’t soft ik that, zaddy kink just for a bit, speaking Spanish on accident because I know how to speak it, and uh crippled walking? Overstimulation, squirt and shit (DONT TAKE THE SHIT LITTERALLY) and language of course ✨

Summary: REEEEEEEEEE-

A/n: god my life is so tragic, and yes I love pink guy 🤺GET BACK🤺 GET BACK I SAY 🤺 this isn’t in bold or anything because I was working on this for toooo long honestly it was requested a while ago, sorry about that!

T.H| I Seen all your exes, I know what you like

You walked after zendaya into the set, your hair into a ponytail, edges laid, you recently got yourself a nose peircing (I just wanted to) you dressed in a large oversized white sweater and some black sweat pants, normal black air forces, you were tired because school was kicking your ass, like forereal.

“Hey Tom!” Zendaya smiled, walking faster to him and hugging him tightly. “Hey z” he smiles back, squeezing her a bit. “This is my uh, cousin, y/n” Zendaya smiled at you and you yawned again, covering your mouth but waving at him, which he gave a tight lipped smile and let out a “hey, how are you” “tired. Bored. Emotionally numb. Mixed feelings, over caked up-“ “haha, I think he gets it” Zendaya cut you off with a wide smile. “Are you playing in the movie?” Tom asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think so” you shrugged. “She’s the real life MJ, don’t mind her, but we are gonna like go now, bye-Tom!” She pulled your arm until you found her trailer.

“What’s up with you!” Zendaya asked as she put her hands on her hips, watching you sit down on her bed. “I HATE SCHOOOOOOL” you complained, throwing your head on her bed as you tried not to cry. “You aren’t crying right now, y/n please don’t” Zendaya rolled her eyes.

“They expect me to know this shit! I barely even know what 2+2 is!” You lifted your head as tears left your eyes, crying. “Y/n, what’s 2+2?” She asked. “Fourrrr” you whined, still crying. “It’s social distance, like cheat or something!” Zendaya said as she mentally started to cackle watching your cry, you sucked your tears up in an instant, acting like you were perfectly fine and took out your laptop...only to cry again.

“I HATE SCHOOOOOOOOLLLL, WHY OUT OF EVERYONE I HAVE TO DO ITTTTTT!” you slapped the computer, zendaya couldn’t take it, she laughed at you. “AND YOUR LAUGHINGGG, IM IN AN EMOTIONAL CRISIS RIGHT KNOW” she started cackling, gasping for air as tears ran down your face. “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” “ZENDAYAAAAAA-“ your voice cracked, coughing on your spit as she just kept laughing, she was on the floor now, holding her stomach.

As you let out a broken scream the door opened, revealing Tom worried, but his face turns confused. “Do I want to know?” He gently asked. “Get outttttt” you whined pointing at the door. Tom smiled and nodded his head, closing the door. You wiped your tears away, sniffling like a child as zendaya just watched, a grin plastered in her face. “Shut up zendaya- I’m hurt” you said petty, crossing your arms as she let out a ‘pffft’ and continued to laugh.

It was about 2 days later, you felt better with jacobs help, he can really do math.

You sat in the chair sighing as you looked at your phone. “Fucking Enews, I’m gonna kill them one day” zendaya groaned, plopping herself in the chair next to you. “What happened?” You asked, the only ones in the room, it was like a hangout spot or something, hard to explain use your imagination

“They like to put us against each other and it’s toxic” zendaya hands you the phone, showing you on tone left and her on the right and “zendaya vs y/n” you only cringe at it “they want people to vote?” You asked and she nodded, you voted for yourself and handed her back the phone. “Forget you” she rolled her eyes, “nope if anything I’m winning” you shrug laughing at her while she tries to snatch your phone.

“It’s only fair!” She said, grabbing your phone and somehow knowing your code, standing up and running with your phone “JUST DONT TYPE IN X!” You yell, chasing her. “Oh I’m typing in x” she whispered, now joining where everyone else was, it was to fast to tell who but you seen Tom, you ran past him and his screen showed a model, blond but you couldn’t see anything else. Your mind was racing as you went full on devil an crybaby running, once you chased her she threw herself on the couch, sighing and laying your phone on her stomach.

“Fuck you” you whispered and she laughed, you grabbed your phone and saw “you voted for me!” You gasped. “What! No I didn’t!” She said, immediately sitting up and raising her eyebrows at you, you showed her your phone, laughing in her face as you tried to do the dougie. “Oh so you wanna get competitive?” She asked, crossing her arms. “I mean I’m in the lead” you shrugged. “Whoever loses has to buy lunch!” Zendaya said, standing up and running past you back to where everyone else was, you followed her while she said “VOTE ZENDAYA!” you shouted your own name and told people to vote you and they didn’t understand until they all got a notification.

Everyone voted and you sat next to Tom, begging him to tell you who he chose. “No y/n I won’t tell you” he smiled. “Pleaseeee!” You clasped your hands together giving him the best puppy eyes you could, he glared at you and showed you his phone. “I give up” on the screen it showed “you haven’t even voted yet!” You said, about to tap your name until he pulled his phone back. “Nope”

The rally went on for hours, it went from zendaya to you, to you to zendaya, zendaya was in the lead by point two percent. “THOMAS VOTE!” Laura shouted. “Alright alright!” He said, he heasitantly tapped a name, he chose it on purpose of course and it was nice for him to be the last person to vote.

Everyone’s phoned dinged by Enews. “ILL TELL EVERYONE!” Samuel shouted, everyone sat in seats watched him, phones turned off. This was absolutely giant for you and zendaya, this was a playful competition so don’t worry about putting each other down.

“The person who won is.....” he added suspense on everyone, aching for the answer already. He sighed and cleared his throat, then swallowed.

....

.....

Almost there!

.......it’s

Oop-

“The winner is y/n!” Everyone who voted for you cheered while everyone who voted for zendaya booed. You and zendaya both laughed together, giving each other a hug. “You owe me pizza” she only shrugged and agreed. “Wait...who did Tom vote?” Jacob asked, everyone now eyeing him, his eyes went wide. “You’ll never know” he only said. “Tell us! The game is over!” “Tell us!” Was chanted as his face started to turn a bit red. “ALRIGHT! I VOTED-“

who did he vote? Idk

Oof

This is a long ass story

Not anywhere near finished yet so stick with me here

I LOVE YOU KRITI

“Y/N” everyone cheered and congratulated you, zendaya asking if you wanted to go get the pizza now, you agreed and asked anyone else if they wanted to go, Jacob and Tom said yeah and you all went, you ordered a noarmal pizza and bought zendaya one to, you really didn’t want to take her money, Tom scrolled through the comments of the Enews post and saw how many people actually didn’t like you which is absolute bullshit, comments about your skin and how you act, his blood was slightly boiling, it isn’t right because they don’t even know you, who gives them the right to talk shit about you?

As the days passed you and Thomas hung out a lot, went to dinner a couple times whiteout anyone else, then had lunch, went shopping, you guys just did a lot of shit together which was cute, you guys got matching socks, shirts, jeans, hair clips and hats, calling your selves idiots and thing number one and number two, you, Tom, daya, haz, and Harry went mountain climbing and that was the worst thing you’ve ever done in your life, you held toms hand so tight, wore a parachute just in case you see a bear and need to jump off, you were just all over the place.

“Do you wanna go to a party with me?” Tom asked in his dressing room, watching you eat your Cheerios with extra sugar as you raise a single eyebrow at him “depends “ you shrugged, setting down the bowl as you laid on his bed. “I think it’s like a house party, one of my friends asked to come, I don’t know” he shrugged and sat down at the end of the bed looking at you. “Then alright yeah, I have nothing else to do tonight” he smiles and lays down infront of you and you put your hand on his waist listening to his small breathes.

It was the day of the party and you weren’t so big on it. You dressed in some baggy jeans and a long sleeeve with a slicked back ponytail and some vans, your hair in a slicked in a ponytail and some long eyelashes with lip gloss, you said you’d meet him there because it took you hours If someone was waiting on you, strange but also very true.

You sighed and rolled your eyes with your hands on the steering wheels, trying to find a parking space but it was packed. “Why does this man have so many freinds? ISNT this only a house party?” You muttered, finally finding a parking spot, pretty close. Tom had called you and told you he was waiting at the door when you had just parked, he knew what your car looked like so when he found it he smiled and it made him slightly over excited.

“Hey babe” he smiled and you returned with “hey love” you both exchanged with tight hugs and he took your hand and pulled you in, the first thing that met your nose was sweat and achol. You silently cringed as Tom tried to contain his laughs, pulling you to the kitchen and to the counter, you could barely jump so he helped you up. “Hungry?” He asked. “Any waffles?!” You said and he chuckled, walking over to the fridge and opening the freezer as his smile got brighter, he took the package and threw it at you, which you catches and bit your lip.

The music boomed through the walls, he got you both a beer and ended up burning the waffles “Y/N!” “IM SORRY!” He quickly shut it, going over to the sink and opening the window, the breeze string so he sighed in relief and walked over to you giving you a strong high-five making you hiss “sorry!” He adorably said with made you smile at him, you both made your way upstairs, grabbing a couple beer bottles on the way.

“So” he said, looking at his bottle. “So?” You asked looking at him confused. “How’ve ya been?” He asked, achol in both of your systems as you shrugged. “Happy with you here” “that’s cute y/n” he laughed, setting down the bottle and looking at you. “So are you like not bored?” “We can like watch something?” “Like what?” “The backyardagains?” He looked at you confused, “a child’s show?” “Hey it’s more interesting then alone or whatever you like to watch” “why don’t we like watch porn hub or something?” “That’s wierder then what I said, but I mean..-“ “backyardagains it is” he put his lips in a tight manner, he tried to find the remote on the night stand but it was on your side, luckily there was on demand so you didn’t have to pay for anything.

you both watched the show, him smiling at laughing at you as you mocked the words. “You must had watched this a million times to know what their saying” he chuckled. “Hey don’t judge me, beer?” You asked grabbing one, when he said yeah you added another and handed it to him. You guys got closer, his hand on your waist while you head was on your chest, which shifted to his hand on your ass when you were all the way on top of him, platonically, but when you both looked at each other he pulled in and kissed you roughly, you batted your eyes at him and sat up, setting your beer aside as he did the same, he took his hand and put it on your neck, tugging you down to kiss him.

You slowly rocking your hips on his member feeling it grow as he let out distant groans, his hand stayed comfterbly on your neck, not squeezing to tight but just right. “Do you wanna?” He asked against your lips and you only nodded. “Say it” he said, rubbing his nose against yours. “I want to” “you want to what baby girl?” “I want to have sex with you” “you can be naughtier than that” he bit your bottom lip, pulling it back with him and letting it go, making eye contact with you.

“I want you to fuck me tommy” you kept your hips moving as he let out a hoarse chuckle “that’s my good girl” he squeezed your throat and you whimpered, he released your neck and made his way down your stomach to the button of your pants, his other hand made its way to your cheek, taking it slow and taking everything in as his small lips were against your plump ones, he undid your pants and they were looser then before, so he climbed down and found-

“Lace?” He whispered against your lips, “thong? Naughty girl” your stomach reeked with butterflies as a pool was comfterbly inbeteeen your legs, he pulled the material back and let it go your back arching as you let out a “shit”. You could feel his hard on against you as you were eager to take off your clothes and just give it all to him. He finally came to where you wanted him, he swirled your pearl before digging in your wetness and pumping it “Tommy” you whimpered, bucking your hips into his hand. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you” he licked your bottom lip before having it enter your mouth, you basically fucked his hand as he lowered down, finding you sweet spot instantly which only instensed the pleasure. You put your head in his shoulder as you pulled down the rest of your pants, lifting each leg to get them off.

He took his hand out of you which made you whine but he shushed you and made you sit up, looking at the white thong and how it squeezed your skin, he lifted the long sleeve, up and over you head to find you not wearing a bra. “Fucking hell y/n, your so perfect” he smiled, taking a boob in his hand while you lifted your hips to work on his pants,he bucked his hips up slightly so you could pull them down, and it stood, you bit your lip and you looked down and seen the outline of his thick member, seeing a small spot of precum leaking through his underwear. “You gonna stare?” He chuckled, you let out a sorry and pulled down the boxers revealing his member, it sprung up to his lower stomach and you bit your lip, he was above average by like two inches but he was also so...large.

“It’s pretty Tommy” you complement which leaves him smiling. “I’ll be prettier once it’s in you” he knew you were just pooling by his words, you both didn’t want to waste anytime so he pulled the thong to the side, sliding his finger through your heat leaving your hips stuttering slightly, “you ready?” You nodded at him and let out a yeah, he took his member and pumped himself a few times before entering you with a groan.

“Fuck y/n your so tight” you softly came down on him, you being on top and holding onto the head board for support as you lifted your hips and ripped them again “mmmm” you moaned, your head tilting back as he watched comfterbly, seeing you in control. You went faster the bed making noise as whimpers left your lips, his hand came up to your waist and held tight, biting his lip as he watched your boobs bounce infront of his face (ew sex 🤢 don’t know her)

He groaned and let out a fuck, moaning at his name as he sat up, looking up at your face and how your beautiful moans leave your lips. “You like that y/n, you like riding me?” He asked, slightly breathing heavy, he messed with the hem on your thong before taking both of his hands to rip it off. “Mhm, you owe me a thong” he sucked hickeys on the pad of your skin, or where ever he could. You rolled your hips, tired of bouncing as your breath was heavy, making eye contact with his darken, lust filled eyes, he didn’t heasitate to kiss your lips, shoving his tongue in your mouth and fighting for dominance, which of course he won, his hands came down to open your legs, fucking himself into you as you whined. “Fuck baby” he groaned when your hands were on his shoulders, clawing them as he hisses in pain but also in pleasure, his hands are tight on your legs which felt so good to you, hearing the clapping noises as you bucked your hips.

“Tommy you feel so good” you moaned, “yeah? My cock wrapped around your tight little pussy, so warm and wet for who?” “For you” your head tilted back, opening your legs more as you begged for more, which he gave to you, he flipped you both over making him on top, he went as fast as he could, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you choked on your moans “t-Tommy!” “You like that baby?” He asked. “Like it when I fuck into your tight pussy, where you can barely speak, when I bust you fucking open?” “Please please please”

“Please what? Be a good girl and take daddies dick yeah?” When you bucked your hips he laid a slap on your ass, your back arching as you cried and open your legs as open as possible, your chest pressed up against his, he used the head board to pound harder into you, groaning as each thrust, yours moans where high pitched “I’m gonna-“ you swallowed. “Cum? Hold it for me, I’ll tell you when you get it to cum” “your in so deep I don’t know-“ “just try’n hold it” he felt his climax building up. “Please tom can I cum?” You let out a rough high pitched moan, really putting your throat in it, he smiled and moaned at your face, then looked down and seen the way he pounded into you so freely, his cock glistening with your wetness, he took his hand and rubbing your clit messy. “To much Tommy!” You basically screamed.

“Take it for me” your back came off the mattress as your face scrunched, you cum blasting right out of you. “joder joder joder joder, papi me haces correr tan fuerte, dios me haces sentir tan bien! joder papi si, papi si papi si papi si!” You cried, which instantly made him cum right after you. “Fuckkkk” he rode it out, his hand still on your clit, your chest stuttered as your hand went to his wrist latching onto it as he keep swirling around your clit, eager to make you cum again. You were so dazed you couldn’t think straight the pleasure over powering you as you were sure you just peed yourself, “Thomas!” You shrieked

He pulled out. “I could do that all day” he muttered, rolling over to the other side as you both panted, he looked over at you and noticed how you weren’t speaking, “what’s up?” You looked over at him and replied with “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk” he laughed and the door soon opened. “Party is fücking over” his friend said, looking at both of you while your bodies were fully naked, he didn’t care he just wanted you both out, the theme song of the backyardagains playing as he shut the door which left you both laughing, he secretly kept the ripped thong and put it in his pocket of his jeans.

“You spoke Spanish to me, y/n” he laughed as you shook your head no. “Stop that’s so embarasinggg!” You groan and cover your ears. “You called me daddy, I don’t know the rest” “I probably did speak Spanish to you, but I didn’t call you daddy, I couldn’t have” “oh no you called me daddy alright, it was fucking gorgeous, I couldn’t help but cum” “shut up!” You both were walking down the street... well you crippled as he held your hand drinking a slurpii that you got form 711. “How will zendaya feel?” He asked you and you shrugged. “I will tell her soon” “and how you spoke fluent Spanish to me? I bet no one has ever fucked you that good huh?” “THOMAS!”

[shaynawrites23]

Second Chances

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

The stunning moodboard is by the wonderful @im-a-writer-right, and look, if there’s one blog you should follow, it’s hers. Why are you still here? Go follow her! Or maybe after you read my fic 😉

Word count: 913

Prompts: “You’re my second chance.”

“You really like hugs, don’t you?” “Only yours.”

Written for @im-a-writer-right and @blisfvll’s writing challenges! And Ria, I’m also the toothbrush anon, so hi!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your nails made clicking sounds on the keyboard of your laptop as you typed. Yay, mission reports. In any case, you wanted to finish this as quickly as possible so you could go have a snack and get some kisses from your sweet boyfriend without either Steve or Tony badgering you about it.

You sighed. Having started twenty minutes ago, you couldn't permit yourself to take a break. Curse your procrastination. The report was due tonight and you only had yourself to blame.

Now you were ultra-focused on the words flashing into existence on your screen, so much so that you failed to notice the door of your bedroom open as someone entered.

The bed bounced when a large body flopped down next to you. You only glanced up for a split second, looking down again when you realized he wasn't a threat. It was none other than your loving boyfriend Bucky Barnes, lying face first in one of the many pillows you decorated your now-shared bed with.

"You okay, babe?" you asked, not breaking your concentration. The only response you received was a groan, or at least that's all you remember. Maybe your mind didn't quite register anything he might have said.

You almost forgot he was there until he started grabbing at your hand. God, you wanted to touch him too, just feel his presence, but you did not want to get Tony on your back about this dumb report.

"Buckyy, I need to work," you whined, pulling your hand out of his reach.

You made the mistake of looking at him when you didn't hear anything. He was pouting. The big, bad, deadly assassin, former Winter Soldier, was pouting at you like a child. Smart man.

You sighed, looking away so you could wholeheartedly convince yourself why giving in was a bad idea.

"Babe, let me finish my report and I'll let you cuddle me as much as you want."

He seemed deep in thought for a moment, as if weighing his options. Deciding it would be faster to just let you work for a few minutes, he nodded.

"Okay. But I expect kisses too."

"What are cuddles without kisses?" You grinned, the urge to peck his lips too strong for you and so you did exactly that.

He lay back, hands under his head as he watched you work. Not so much watching as admiring you, though. His eyes traced your features, committing them each to memory as if he were afraid you'd be ripped away from him and he'd be left with nothing but memories of you.

You'd been there for him since he broke free of Hydra, never once faltering in your attempts to get closer to him. After a particularly bad day, he broke down and let you past his walls. You helped him regain his memories and get out of his pickle with the government, and sometime in between, you fell in love with him, and he with you. You had been together ever since. His entire life constituted one long ordeal, one hellish nightmare, but you were waiting for him at the end of it all, welcoming him with open arms. His light at the end of the tunnel.

You were his sun, his moon, his stars. Hell, you were his entire universe. And for you, he’d do it all again.

"Buckyy, stop staring. I can't focus like that," you whined, patting his leg to draw his attention.

"Can't help it, doll, you're just too beautiful." Christ, the way the words rolled off his tongue had you actually believing them.

"Don't tempt me," you groaned. "I want to cuddle too, but then Tony and Steve will scold me for procrastinating, and you know how much I hate that."

You turned your attention back to your laptop, typing the report up as quickly as you could. You still felt his gaze burning holes in your back, but you didn't care, wanting to finish as soon as you could so you could crawl into his arms.

"There. I'm done." You closed your laptop, setting it on your nightstand before flopping down next to him. "Hey there, handsome. What're you thinking about?"

"You." He pulled you into him. "And second chances, I guess."

"What about them? You don't need second chances, Buck. You're doing great."

"I know, doll." His chest rumbled with a breathy laugh as his arm tightened around you. "I was thinking about you. I know it sounds cheesy, doll, but I swear, you're my second chance."

"Baby-" You didn't know what to say, instead choosing to press your lips against his. His hand flew to the back of your neck, tilting your head and coaxing your mouth open. You reciprocated with every ounce of love you had for him, which was already an unmeasurable amount.

"Love you, darlin'. So, so much," he murmured against your lips before capturing them in another sweet kiss.

"I love you too, Bucky. But I could really use a snack, so..." With that, you attempted to stand up, but he wouldn't let you, his iron grip keeping you in his arms.

"I'll call Steve, he can bring us something." He was already dialing the number before you could respond.

"You really like hugs, don't you?" You laughed, laying your head on his chest again anyway.

"Only yours," he hummed. "Hey, Steve, it's me. (Y/N) just finished that report and we're hungry, so bring us some snacks, would you?"

So it’s a bit shorter than my usual fics, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

PS: I found my writing notebook and I realized I forgot to add a couple lines I wrote specifically for this fic, so I added them now!

[swiss-cheeze]

Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner || ‘I love you’ ‘then perish’

REQUESTED: YES/NO

Gender: uh, they/them but there are mentions of the reader having their own kids; obviously there are single fathers so the reader 100% can be male or female or simply NB if that's what you prefer.

Warnings: child abductions/killings, normal CM crime talk, talk of trauma/abuse/drugs/drug abuse/the stuff Spencer has gone through, dismissal of trauma.

-------

Aaron Hotchner

10 children had been abducted, in less than 48 hours. We all know the statistics, which is why you didn't exactly understand why the hell you were still allowing children to go to school and out to the park. You brought it up to Hotch.

“Why is it exactly that we’re still allowing children to go out?” you questioned with crossed arms, the team looked at you skeptically but stayed silent.

“Because it’ll draw out our abductor that we can apprehend,” Hotch said, staring at the victim board. Every single photo was of a child or a family with children, this abductor didn't leave any trace evidence except for a handwritten note from the child saying how much they hated their home life, it had gone through forensic for prints and to make sure the writing was in fact done by a child; it was, each and every one of those letters was written by the kids.

“Why don't we lay low, say the FBI aren't doing their best, it'll drag the unsub out, or keep the kids home! He’ll get bored an-”

“And skip town for more children and probably leave the others behind to die (L/n)” Hotch cut in with a stern look, “I understand you have children of your own but-”

“Hotch this has nothing to do with that!” you exclaimed, the team is now filtering out of the door, “it has to do with the fact we’re trying to do our jobs the best and this isn't the best! The mayor and council are on our asses about everything and we’re still allowing more children to be taken!” you threw your arms around in an effort for Hotch to see what you’re saying, but he refused.

“(L/n) this conversation is now over,” the unit chief said harshly, “we are doing our best and our best is-”

“Agent Hotchner?” a voice called, an officer had walked into the room without realising, “more children have been kidnapped,” the officer handed you the evidence bag, or bags you should say, “four notes, four kids, but there’s um,” the officer took a breath and cleared his throat, “a body has just been discovered and the chief thinks its Ashley Leif,” and with that the officer left. You sighed as you looked down at the letters, feeling the weights in your hands, the tears, the markings, the- hold on. It's signed. You cocked an eyebrow as you placed the bag on the table.

“What is it (L/n)?” Hotch called, you didn't answer and instead took the evidence bags with you to the front of the building where the rest of your team stood waiting. Hotch could see you handing the letters to Reid, obviously to read through faster and determine if it was in fact written by a child, as your mouth moved at a million miles an hour, a lot of the team nodding along with you and talking. It felt cold without you in the room with Hotch. Maybe he should take your advice.

-------

Five kids dead, 8 still missing. Four days. You walked out of one of the offices as the wails of a child-less couple followed before you closed the door, the officers seemed to give you sympathetic looks as you stormed into the conference room yourself and the team were in.

“We have nothing,” you exclaimed as you slammed the door, causing J.J. and Emily to jump at your sudden outburst, “we have notes, we have a signed piece of paper that isn't a child name in the database for this town-” you flopped into one of the seats with your head in your hand as Emily came up and rubbed your shoulders.

“We’ll find him (Y/n)” the woman said softly, you didn't say anything as she left and the room went quiet again.

“How is he even getting these kids huh?” you asked, “they just suddenly up and leave in the middle of the...night…” it took you a second before you glanced at the crime scene photos of the child's bedroom; undisturbed. The team caught on as you quickly moved to the board and examined every photo, taking them all down and laying them out on the table in front of you as the team curled behind you.

“What is it (L/n)?” Rossi asked.

“It’s all undisturbed,” you muttered softly, you could feel the breath of your teammates against the back of your neck, “what...what if these kids aren't being taken?” you questioned, “what if they go out at the time, say a family dinner with a friend, they go home and that friend asks to stay the night, they take the kid and then-”

“The crime scene is undisturbed because the kids trust who it is; ‘come help me outside for a moment’ and they go” J.J. finished for you, you grinned as you phoned Garcia.

“Ready and waiting!” Garcia's voice came through the speakers, her fingers poised.

“Are there any friends from every family? People that overlap that are maybe mentioned in social media of most if not all the families?” you asked.

“Family friend, me likey” Garcia said happily as she started typing, “uhh, we have one; Emelia June, friends of all the families and- oh no” Garcia softened her voice.

“What? Garcia what is it?” you asked quickly.

“She's a director for a class the kids all went to for arts and crafts” Garcia said quickly, “her class roll is sent to your phones and tablets now!”

“Address Garcia?” you asked quickly as the team started putting on their vests, you included.

“Work and Address on your phones now, go get her my babies!”

“Rossi, Spencer, Emily go to the work address, the rest of us will go to her home and go from there, Emelia is dangerous and is most likely holding those kids in a separate location,” you said as Emily and Hotch started rounding up some officers and the rest of you ran to the cars.

------

Emelia was caught but had to be interrogated in order to find the kids, luckily they were all unharmed and had food and water, she was sentenced 25 to life.

“(Y/n), can i see you in my office please?” Hotch called as you started packing up your files to finish at home. You gave a slight side eye to your friends before wrapping your bag around yourself and walking to the office in question.

“Did i do something wrong?” you asked monotone as Hotch waited behind his desk.

“You took ahold of the investigation when apprehending Emelia,” Hotch said, “that isnt your job-”

“Neither was yours to let those fucking kids die” you said quickly as your arms crossed over your chest. Hotch sighed.

“I understand this is hard for the both of us with our relationship both work and romance but you need to trust me (Y/n)” Hotch sighed, this only made you angrier, “i know you find it hard to trust others and to be trusted but for this to work you have to understand i know what i'm doing and what i'm doing, including my job, is right” by now you where fuming, “i know this case was hard especially with you having kids of your own-”

“Fuck you,” you cut Hotch off, him looking at you surprised, “i have kids, you have a kid too Hotch. You had a wife and when you came to me seeking some sort of love and affection i was happy to give it to you when you needed it, i loved those dates, i loved everything but really? I'm getting too personal with that case because I care about young lives?” you asked with a scoff, “im sorry but if thats a problem for you then we have a pretty big fucking problem here” you motioned between yourself and Hotch on ‘here’.

“(Y/n)-”

“No, dont ‘(Y/n)’ me,” you said with a laugh, “you do this all the time! You dont allow me to do my own job-”

“Let me explain-” Hotch started once again, but you stopped him by walking out of the office.

“My resignation letters went in three weeks ago for Crimes Against Children, i go next week, i'll say goodbye to the team tomorrow” you said walking down the stairs and past your teammates who heard everything.

“You're leaving?” Derek asked, you could hear him but you didn't acknowledge him and kept walking, Hotch walked slightly faster and grabbed your arm, pulling you back to him.

“I love you (Y/n)” his voice was low and wavering, it was full of emotions but you couldn't care less.

“Then perish” you said finally, and with that.

It was all over.

You yanked your arm from Hotch, turned, and walked off without looking back.

Spencer Reid

Spencer was sick of it, he really was. He loved you, of course he did, but there was always something about you that just didn't sit right with him; you weren't too clingy, you weren't too protective, you were perfect. But you didn't believe he had all the trauma he constantly said he had. You jump scared him and of course his fist almost comes in contact with your nose, you scream his name and he comes in with his gun held just to see a photo of a dog, you always dismiss his trauma at the worst of times.

Anniversary of his abduction and drugging? ‘Lol no that doesn't happen to people like you, even back then’.

Anniversary of Maeve's death? ‘So you love a dead girl more than you do me? Oh thats rich Spence, thanks’ and youd walk out of the apartment and wait for SPENCER, to send a fucking apology.

Whenever he talks about his mum or her mental state? ‘Spencer you won't inherit whatever it is that she has, skitzy whatever’ you say with a laugh.

The team could see how much Spencer hated it, he was always on edge of everything. What he hated the most was when you decided to surprise him at work, everyone could then see how uncomfortable he was with you next to him, not how a couple was supposed to work.

So, he messaged you, asked for a chat over coffee. And here you are at the first coffee shop you both met, you giggling at a little baby blowing spit bubbles.

“(Y/n), can we focus on why i brought us here?” Spencer asked softly, he was trying, and hoping to some god that you would try as well.

“Yeah in a sec Spence,” you cooed at the little baby again.

“(Y/n) please,” Spencer was now desperate.

“Okay okay, Jesus Christ I can't do anything without you breathing down my neck can i?” you asked annoyed as you sat in your chair properly rather than directing your full body to the baby.

“Me? Breathing down your neck?” Spencer asked suddenly.

“Duh, you always do, i can't go anywhere or do anything without you there to ask every question in the book-”

“No (Y/n) that person is you,” Spencer cut you off angrily.

“Don't cut me off, Spencie” you reminded the boy, that was the last straw. Spencer slammed his hand on the table in rage causing a few people around to jump and stare, not good.

“No, you listen to me (Y/n)” Spencer started, “don't you dare call me that. Don't ever call me Spencie, you know why?”

“Because some girl from prison called you that” you mocked as you took a sip of your drink.

“Exactly, wanna know why i don't like people calling me that?” you shrugged, “it's called PTSD (Y/n), or PTSS. It’s real. That abduction I went through? That fucking happened, i was taken for two days and was drugged and tortured,” you sighed.

“Spence you know how i feel about that-”

“Yeah? And have you ever thought about what i feel? Huh? Ever think why I get so jumpy around you? Because i'm a federal fucking agent, i see worse shit than you could ever dream. And forgive me, but I try my best to keep you away from that stuff because I don't want to scare you with it but at this point I don't care anymore. Maeve? She's real, she was real. She was the most amazing girl in the world and you know what? I never saw her a single fucking time until the day she died. A murder suicide. I wept for weeks and weeks, wanna know who was there for me?” Spencer held up his hand and started counting off on his fingers, “my teammates, my supervisor, my mother, the people in my favourite coffee shop and bookstore. THEY WERE CONCERNED FOR ME WHEN I STOPPED COMING IN FOR TWO WEEKS” Spencers voice raised slightly, not enough to shout but enough to get through to you, “i have PTSD, i have trauma; and it's not right for you to dismiss it like its nothing. And that includes my mother” and with that Spencer was done. He grabbed his wallet from his pocket, shoved a $5 bill on the table and started walking off, you took a moment to catch up before walking after him.

“Spence, what- what?” your brain couldn't keep up as Spencer walked out of the shop with you in tow.

“We’re over. Go home” Spencer said without looking at you.

“But, I love you!” you exclaimed, disheartened, hoping that last bit would help you, but Spencer kept walking.

“Then perish” was all you heard as he continued walking away, confidence radiating over him as he left you to your thoughts.

And honestly? Thinking back on everything.

He was fucking right.

[foryouthegays]

rendog is afraid of horse lips: a transcript

Ok everyone! Time to transcribe Ren being afraid of horse lips. This is on his July 1st stream (today), titled “Minecraft & Chill [Hermitcraft Vanilla Server]” on his Twitch account, rendogtv. This starts at 2:54:40, and ends at 3:05:15. this took me a solid hour to do. please give it some love. 

Here’s a link to the stream, already at the time it starts: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/667092785?t=02h54m41s Starts under cut (if I can get the cut to work on Tumblr,,) 

Yo Cordinho (twitch user Cordinho88) with 100 bitties, thank you dude! [reading donation] “four years ago you told me you were most scared of horse lips, [laughing] is this still the case?” yes. Yes, there's not much in uh, in life that scares me, my dudes, ok? Ya know? I’m a pretty tough guy, I’ve been through a lot of things in my life, survived a lot of things, gotten through a lot of things, [pauses] ya know? I mean, I’m an immigrant, I immigrated, I struggled, I bled, I’ve done a whole bunch of things in my life, there's, there's not a lot of things that scare me, but uh [pauses game to go search “HORSE LIPS” in Safari] there is, there is one thing that scares me, in uh, in life, ok? [types] there's one thing that terrifies me.

 And uh, yeah, this is a great example, this is a fantastic example of what I’m talking about, right here, let me just zoom in on that, here we go [pulls a google search of HORSE LIPS, focused on a picture of a light brown horse pushing out its lips] horse lips. Horse lips scare the living bagingle out of me, my dudes. Ok? They are horrifying, terrifying. I can’t even look at this [the picture of the horse lips], this is traumatizing, I can’t look at them lips [takes tab out of screen, continues playing Minecraft]. And uh, and look, let me tell you why!

When I was a young child, my mum took me to a horse farm, or like a, uh, a ranch, or whatever, ya know, I don’t know what they’re called. And um, at the time, my mum wanted me to meet, I don't know, maybe I was like, twelve, [pause] right? My mum wanted me to meet, to uh start socializing more with uh, with girls, m’kay? And uh, she, uh, one of her friends had a, uh, a daughter my age, who uh, was into horses. And they, they had like uh, a horse ranch or whatever, um, I think it was their family business, you know, they had, like, horses or whatever, and so, one afternoon we went over to, uh, the horse farm, and my mum didn’t tell me that I was going to meet the girl, right? Like my mum was sneaky that way, she was sneaky! She didn’t tell me that there was going to be a girl involved, ya know? She was like, “oh, we’re going to go and visit my friend,” and I was like, “oh, I don’t want to go, ya know? I wanna play video games,” and she's like “no, you gotta come, we’re gonna go visit my friend, and uh, it's gonna be fun. You have to go, it's compulsory,” and I was like, “ok, fine” and [soft laugh] we went to this horse farm, and uh, lo and behold, there was this girl! 

And, my dudes, listen, I’m, ya know, this girl was [sing song-y voice] fineeeeee, damn! I mean, at- at that age I hadn’t, I don't even think I had spoken to a girl, so, ya know, I was already like, completely, [laughs] completely lost as to what to do or what to say. All I can remember, though, is that, ya know, she was very pretty, and I was like, “ok, awesome,” [laughs], I was digging it, ya know?, I was like, “yeah, this is, this is great, it’s gonna go great.” 

Anyway, she was like, uh, like a horse girl, ya know? Like, she was into horses and whatnot, obviously, uh, she had like three horses, they were like uh, a really wealthy family, and um, at one point, like, the mums were, you know, they were like, “we’ve got to get the kids to go and hang out together, like, you know, talk to each other and stuff,” so, uh, her mother was like, “hey! Why don’t you go show him your horses?” And, you know, [stutters] a perfectly innocent suggestion, and at the time, it seemed like a good idea.

So, the girl and I awkwardly went over to the stables, while the parents stayed, uh, you know, in the main house, drinking tea and watching on, vicariously, as we, we pranced down to the, uh, stables!, if you will excuse the equestrian pun, I do have a BA in English Literature after all [pauses]. 

Anyway, we got to the, uh the stables, and the horses were like, in the, their, uh, their cage, well, its not a cage, like, uh, what do you call it? [laughs] um, it’s not a cage, it's like a, uh, enclosure? I guess?, and you know, they can put their heads through like, like over the fence, and you can feed them apples and whatnot, right? 

And you know, we were just chatting, and whatnot, and we seemed to be getting along pretty, pretty good, I think? I think things were going pretty well, [louder and faster] until she suggested that I feed the fricken horse. I’ve never fed a horse before, and I dunno if you guys have ever seen a horse in real life, but when you’re like, twelve years old, a horse is massive [pause], ok? When you’re twelve, you can pretty much stand under a horse, [pause] ok? Uh, its a beast. It is a giant beast with massive lips, an, and massive teeth, [pause] m’kay? And, that horse was eyeballing me, my dudes. 

Listen. I’ve never been eyeballed by a horse before, until that day. And I’ve never seen a horse eyeball a human before either. I thought horses and humans were supposed to be friends. That horse was eyeballing me, lookin’ me up and down like I’ve never seen, my dudes. I walk into that stable and that horse was like, “yo, back up, back up, whatchu comin’ in here for, whatchu comin’ in here for, boy! [scoffs/ laughs] don’tchu be touchin my girl, now,” ya know what I’m saying? Like, that horse knew I was up to no good. That horse knew that I was, uh, ya know, and at this stage I was thinking, woah, maybe there's an opportunity for a kiss here, ya know what im sayin, [kiss noises], a little uh, a little peck, so I’m, you know, I’m uh [stutters] I’m not gonna blame the horse, the horse knew, I had ulterior motives, the horse was onto me, and he was not happy, and them lips man, them lips were quivering, [laughs]

Anyway, I’d never fed a horse before, [laughs] and of course, the way that you feed a h, a horse, is you put the food on like, the palm of your hand, you gotta hold your hand real flat, and then it uses its lips to like, chomp off the food off your, your palm, ya know? Like [weird chewing noises], like them lips go crazy!, they’re like, you know, they eat the food off your—and the reason you gotta keep your hand flat is if you don't, the thing is gonna bite your fricken fingers off!, [quieter and slower] listen, I’m not gonna go feeding an animal, no matter how cute, it is, if it can potentially bite my fingers off, [pauses], alright? There's no need for it! There is no need, to feed, another living creature, who can bite your fingers off, ok? It doesn’t make any sense. 

Anyway, obviously, wanting to impress the girl, and you know, mayb— potentially, [kiss noise] get a little smooch action goin, ya know? Like, I wanted to uh, you know, I was like, ok, I’ll feed the fricken horse, and she showed me how to do it, ya know, like, she flattened her hand real flat, and the horse like, chomped on the uh, you know, some kind of, uh, cut up carrots or something, out of, out of her hand, [louder] and now its my turn to feed the fricken horse, put the ca, carrots on my hand, I'm so scared I’m shaken’, and this horse has been eyeball’n me, my dudes, let me tell you, that horse had fire in its eyes, it was not happy, that I was messin with its girl, okay? And when I put my hand up to that horse, them lips went cray cray, and I'm pretty sure, to this day, that horse was tryin’a chomp my fingers off, I’m telllin’ ya, he wasn’t just lippin up the carrots, he was goin, he was goin ham, he was goin for it, and I may or may not have done a little, like, v, very um, unmanly [uah! Scream noise] as the horses lips went for my fingers, and I dropped the carrots, and it was in that moment, that the girl realized that I would never be a horse person [pause] and thus! No kiss was ever received, or did I ever see or speak to the girl again.

Also! Hate horse lips now, ok? I hate them, I’m terrified of them, I could go the rest of my life without ever seeing another horse lip ever again, and I’d be a perfectly happy human being, there ain’t no need for them lips, and there definitely ain’t no need to be feeding a creature [pause] who can bite your fricken fingers off, ok? I’m just putting it out there, my dudes. [pause, laugh] and so yes, that is, uh, that’s the story of why I don’t like horse lips [laughs, pauses] [laughing] oh, goodness gracious, what a ridiculous, what have we been talking about tonight, guys, we’ve lost our marbles in tonight's stream I think, things have gotten out of hand around here. 

[luque-moreau]

y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

ye

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different. 

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd.  this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be   v  e  r  y   enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information. 

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͜͝ͅả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)