#like chuuya is so beloved to me and horrible thing to admit but so is dazai like as individual characters

[hella1975]

Hellstie wtf is tsp

gripping the table nails digging in the wood blood everywhere. im so glad u asked :)

the second perspective is a bsd fic for both skk and sskk (both with about equal screentime for anyone with favourites) and it’s an insanely well-written murder mystery by @wildflowerteas. like genuinely @tallysescape has an actual physical conspiracy wall and @rotisseries has made a map of all the relevant locations. it updates every sunday and finally I’ve caught up so we all go insane about it on a gc bc like I said ITS SO INSANELY WELL WRITTEN AND THE TWISTS ARE INSANE THE PACING IS INSANE THE CHARACTERISATION IS INSANE I GENUINELY CANNOT FAULT THIS FIC WHICH IS CRAZY TO SAY OF ANY FIC BUT IN THE BSD FANDOM IS DOWNRIGHT REVOLUTIONARY

[dreamkidddream]

Hello sunshine, would it be possible for you to write me some headcanons for my beloved Chuuya, Dazai and Atsushi? I was thinking about them having a fragil health s/o? Maybe they work an office job in the ada/pm and they somehow fall for the s/o? I hope this is no trouble and you have inspiration to write this. If you don't like this you can just ignore it. Thank you very much :)

Hi anon! Thank you for the request! So I’m assuming that when you say fragile health s/o is that the reader can get sick easily/overall very weak? I hope that I got the interpretation right, and I didn’t please feel free to send it in again so I can do it over for you. Reader is gender neutral, and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide (Dazai’s part, nothing heavy is mentioned, and it’s only in one line) and Abuse (Atsushi’s, nothing heavy is mentioned)

Easily Sick/Weak S/O with: Chuuya, Dazai, and Atsushi

Chuuya

Oh man, he hated this feeling. He already hated you even working in the Port Mafia (even though he was there too), but he hated it even more since you were weak physically

Don’t get him wrong, Chuuya knows that you’re a strong person through and through, but it was so easy for you to get hurt or sick working on the field, it honestly made him worried

What also made him worried was how he was falling for you and quickly. He’s an executive! He doesn’t have the time for romance, and what if (really when if because he wants you so bad you have no idea) someone decides to come after you because of your ties with him? It was already so easy for him to lose you now, he didn’t want to chance things and speed up the process

But, you were just...a really great person. You were determined, always kept your head up, didn’t take anything from anyone (you backtalked Mori once and still walked away with your throat intact, so that was a sign), and it didn’t help that you were really easy on the eyes (he couldn’t help it, you were already attractive, and those things were just icing on the cake for him)

Chuuya didn’t know how you could stand being in a stuffy office all day, so he always stopped by to check on some “information” for some “case he’s working on). It started out genuine, but then it became a daily occurrence, even on his rare days off. 

One thing about him is that he’s a true gentleman, he knows how to treat his partner right. Bringing lunch to you, flowers sitting on your desk for no reason with a random note (”Hope you have a good day”, “Saw these when I was out, made me think about you”, “These don’t even compare to how beautiful you are, inside and out”, etc.), driving you home no questions asked, even offering you his favorite bottle of wine to share

He knows that he’s being cheesy but he was pulling out all the stops just for you

He knew it was risky for you to be out all the time, so whenever he did finally ask you on an “official” date (you thought sharing his wine was a date but he said that he wanted to show you off, not just in the office), you guys were either in a fully reserved restaurant or at his place. Seriously the way his place looks was like luxury! Damn you knew his job paid good money but wow! This was better than going out honestly

He confessed when you went over to his house one night. It was a particularly rough day for you both, and you just needed some reassurance which Chuuya was happy to give. It seemed like he went on for hours, but really it wasn’t too long, and you were in tears by the end of it. When he ended it with, “anyone would be beyond lucky to have you (Y/N), and I wish it were me. I wish I would have the chance to show you how much I really do love you, words aren’t enough for me. I’ll take the chance if you let me, and I swear you won’t regret it. Be mine, (Y/N), I’ll treat you like you deserve, and you deserve more than the world.”

You both understood the risks that came with dating you, but he swore that he would protect you with his life. If you did get sick, he couldn’t be there for you during the day because of his work, but he made sure to text you every hour on the hour to check on you and as soon as he got home, it was caretaker mode until you both went to bed

He bought you your medicine, the fluffiest pillows ever known to man, I mean did everything and anything. The dude was loaded, money was not an issue obviously

Chuuya is a great boyfriend, and will honestly do anything it takes to keep you safe and happy. He loves you after all, and he doesn’t mind all the extra work that comes with it (he doesn’t even see it as work, just precautions, which still isn’t a problem)

Dazai

He was not only worried about your health and safety, but also the fact that he was falling for you. Dazai was a very secretive person who didn’t like to show his true feelings, and he was scared of what he’s feeling for you. Him being attached and actually caring about people never paid off for him, as his past would tell you...

But here you were, being a bright, shining light in his cruel, bleak, dark world. He tried to keep his distance at first, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. You were so fun to be around, despite your condition! You always helped as much as you could in the office, being the first one to pick up on his work when he was too lazy busy to complete it and having reports ready for any meetings, even on short notice. You looked out for him, both as a coworker and as a caring friend, and he could tell

You even helped him annoy Kunikida sometimes, which just made you even more stunning in his eyes

He felt himself falling for you more and more everyday, finding excuses to stay in the office just to be next to you. “(Y/N), please don’t strain yourself my dear! Let me handle this for you, I would be a terrible suitor if I didn’t.” “Dazai, I just have to staple these- nevermind, thank you my knight wrapped in bandages!” 

Kunikida would of course hate this and drag him out every time, but all that it concluded in was Dazai whining and complaining about how it was so unfair that he was being kept from his “precious (Y/N)” and how they must be so lonely without him. It got to a point where Kunikida made a compromise with him: if he actually does some work and help on the field missions, then he can spend more time with you in the office

I feel like they forget that Dazai is actually crazy smart and most likely already knows the culprits to whatever cases that they are handling, and he was definitely waiting for this outcome. No extra work for him and more time with you. It’s a win-win!

When he does eventually accept that he was in too deep, he started to take his advances in a more serious manner (I mean he was always being serious but he was not going to hold back anymore). He’s a great listener, so anything that said wanted that was said in passing conversation, expect it to be on your desk with a little sticky note. You had a strong craving for something? What do you know, Dazai brought just enough for both of you to share (and he gave you the bigger portion of it). You want to go see the stars? Sounds like the perfect date night for you two!

That’s how he actually confessed to you, right underneath the stars. It was perfect, you guys were away from everyone, having an amazing time just stargazing. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this at peace, and you were to thank for that. He knew that while he was risking his life on a daily basis, but you were constantly fighting for yours. You couldn’t even go on a mission with how easy it was for you to get an injury you couldn’t recover from. But he had faith in you and in himself, that he wouldn’t let another person that he cares for perish in front of him. He made that promise to you, and that he would do everything in his power to keep it. He will not fail you

After that night, your dates were usually held at your place, and it ranged from cooking together to having movie nights. You didn’t have to spend money really, you were both fine in the house in each other’s arms. And if you did get sick, you thought he was clingy before, WHEW did it get more intense

You had to push him off of you too many times to count. What part of NO HUGS did this man not get?! You were already suffering, he didn’t need to either. He did try to make this a double suicide opportunity though, and you were not very happy

Was banned from cuddles for 3 weeks straight, it was pure torture for him

You were Dazai’s distraction from this horrible joke he called a life, and he was welcoming of you. He embraced you, never complained about your weakness or anything. You were someone that he can proudly say that he loves, and that won’t ever change

Atsushi

He was so nervous, so scared. He doesn’t even know how to look everyone in the eye, how was he suppose to admit that he started to like you more than a friend?!

Atsushi was in love with you, I mean he was in deep. He couldn’t help it! You’re just so nice, so easy to talk to, always there to give him a pep talk and just keep him in high spirits. It just wasn’t fair what hand life had dealt you. He wanted to spend time with you outside of the office, but due to your delicate situation, he was so scared to. What if the Port Mafia tried to strike and he wasn’t strong enough or quick enough to protect you? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him. He wouldn’t be able to live-

So he tried (keyword: tried) to spend time with you at work. But with Kunikida on his ass about work, and Dazai being Dazai making his life difficult for his own amusement, made it difficult. Every time he got a chance, before he could even speak a word, someone needed him for something. If he did somehow had the spare time to talk to you, he would either choke or say something that he really meant but chickened out last minute and tried to change it (which was kinda your fault, you like to tease him sometimes too)

“So, um, (Y/N). I remembered that you said you liked that one takeout spot, so if you want I can bring you some back?”

“You would do that for me, Atsushi? Wow, it’s almost like you’re like my boyfriend!”

“Yep, I don’t mind! It makes me happy when you’re hap-w-WAIT HU-“

But besides that, he always checked on your whenever he got back from his missions (even if he was the one injured and bleeding), brought you back small trinkets or food, and always walked you home, not caring if it was out of his way

He hated that you were confined to the office majority of your time working, but he was worried that literally anything could and would happen on his watch, and he didn’t want to risk it. With Kyoka tired of watching him in distress and even Dazai showing a sliver of compassion for him, they helped him set up an inside date

But first, he had to ask you. Dazai wanted him to do some elaborate, over the top, proposal for asking you out (which Atsushi was pretty sure that he just wanted him to panic and embarrass himself) and Kyoka suggested that he gets you tofu (which he was also convinced that she just wanted some again). He decided that he was just going to have to suck it up, and do it himself. He has been through Hell and back, and if he survived that, then he could ask you on a date damn it!

So he finally got some courage, and directly went up to your desk. When you looked up, you flinched back. What was with the intense look in his eyes?! But you realized soon enough when he bowed and asked you to come over for a date. And of course you said yes!

The date was marvelous, and the poor boy was sweating so much you thought he was going to pass out! Whatever Dazai and Kyoka did to the place blew his expectations out of the water. Latern lights strung up along the walls, your favorite meals readied, little messages stuck to the wall made just for you, and the biggest/most comfortable blanket fort that you had ever seen. It sounded so simple, but one look into your eyes and you were overjoyed. He really did mean it that it made him happy that you were happy

He confessed with you snuggled into his side, so anxious yet at ease. Despite everything that he has gone through, you were brave too. You were stuck in that stressful environment, had a body that could quit on you after one bad day, yet you still encouraged him every day, every time you spoke to him after he’s had a bad day, or an encounter with Akutagawa. He was so convinced that he didn’t you, that he didn’t deserve anything good in his life after the abuse he endured at the orphanage. But you didn’t let him believe that for a second, and he’s indebted to you for that

He poured his heart out to you that night, and ever since, he’s been a lot more confident, both in his ability and in himself. You gave him that push in the right direction to trust himself more, and everyone could see the change (Dazai was pretty proud to be honest)

Dates after that were spent at his apartment, relaxing. Once in a blue moon, you guys would go to the arcade where he won you guys matching Tiger phone charms (he was a little embarrassed but he loved you and the charms too much to let it affect him)

If you did become ill, he would panic so bad that you had to bring him back down to Earth while hacking up a lung (not literally but it felt like it). He tries his best, he’s a little shaken because of how distraught he would get due to your fragile body, but he does care for you pretty well. If you need anything, he was too scared to leave you so Kyoka would be his go-to (with the promise of tofu afterwards)

(But don’t worry she’s a little worried for you too)

Atsushi knew he could never forget the horrors that he experienced at the orphanage, but you reminded him of the strength he had to not let it hold him back. He was your hero without a doubt, but you were his in the sense of how strong you really are, and how you didn’t know or believe it when he told you. You became an overall positive influence on his life, and helped him see life a little brighter and more meaningful. He loves you more than you could imagine, and he would continue to prove it to you in everything that he does.

[animemangasoul]

I’ll Be There Because I Want To

Summery: Chuuya is late and Akutagawa wants to go look for him despite Dazai-san's disapproval.

In which Akutagawa is too worried about Chuuya to listen to anyone else.

Chapter 1/2

Gen

Akutagawa narrowed his eyes, brows furrowing at the top of his forehead in what almost resembled worry. Ignoring Dazai-san's instructions to the others for a second, he scanned their surroundings for the fifth time. Chuuya-san had yet to show up to the meeting spot.

Biting his lip in thought, he tried to tune out the weretigers annoying prattling. There had to be a reason why the older male hadn’t made it to the meeting spot right? He was most likely late. Still-

He couldn’t help but let the unsettling feeling gnawing at his stomach fill his mind with unease. It wasn’t like Chuuya-san to be late. And even if he was, he almost always let Akutagawa know in advance. Just as he expected the same kind of attention to detail from the rabid dog himself. Chuuya not being here meant that something could have gone horribly wrong, and Akutagawa was loathe to admit that he couldn’t push down the overwhelming feeling of going after him clawing at his chest.

“Oi, Akutagawa.”

That was Dazai-san. Snapping his head in the direction of his ex-mentor, he tried to focus back on the conversation that had been going on behind his back. Both the detective agency members as well as his own subordinates were looking at him with something akin to curiosity. Not Gin however. Her gaze was an entirely knowing one. He scowled at her. She just shrugged and looked away.

Stepping towards him, Dazai-san tilted his head in an almost childlike curiosity. It immediately set the port mafia member on edge. “Am I boring you Akutagawa-kun~,” he singsonged, a hint of a dangerous glint in his eyes. Akutagawa swallowed thickly.

He would be lying if he said that at the moment his former mentor wasn’t scaring him a little, so he just shook his head and calmly said no.

“Then why don’t you try and pay attention to what we’re all trying to figure out rather than stare of at the distance!”  

The smile Dazai-san was sporting was outright terrifying and for a split second, it almost felt like being thrown back into those dark days filled with blood and pain and suffering and terror at the heels of this very man. Akutagawa tried his hardest to not take a step back. He refused to bow down to his former teacher anymore. Even if his limps shook the slightest degree, he stood firm. Somehow Dazai-san's smile softened a bit, and Akutagawa didn’t understand why.  

“I’m sorry Dazai-san,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to ignore our mission.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Clapping him on the shoulder lightly, the former port mafia member turned back around to the huddled group again and beckoned him over with his hand. It was a clear order to get back in line and stop making unnecessary fuzz.

Any other day and Akutagawa would have scrambled to do as he was told. Any other day and even the slight approval in Dazai-san's voice would have made him straighten up with pride. But-

“Chuuya-san is late,” he blurted out.  

“What,” Dazai-san had turned back around again.

Biting his bottom lip hard, the younger man cursed at himself silently. What the fuck was he thinking. Why did he even say that?

“Chuuya is not always on time Akutagawa-kun~,” Dazai-san said slowly. Voice right back to being condescending again.  

Akutagawa glared. “I know that,” he bit out.

“Then why are we talking about this again?” It was obvious Dazai-san didn’t care at all about this particular conversation, and frankly Akutagawa could feel the humiliating stares of everyone around him burning into his back. His face heated up.  

“He’s never late for things like this,” he gritted out. God knew why he still refused to back down on this. It’s not like Chuuya-san didn’t know how to take care of himself or how to get out of tough situations. But something deep in his gut was telling him something was wrong, and Akutagawa couldn’t for the life of him let it go. “Chuuya-san might be in trouble Dazai-san.”

Dazai-san's eyes narrowed in annoyance and the weretiger behind him widened in concern. “It’s sweet that you are beside yourself with worry,” Dazai-san said. “But I can assure you that Chuuya is very much capable of taking care of himself and you doubting him only serves as an insult to his skills. So if you could stop putting the faith of the city at risk for your own petty insecurities that would be appreciated.”

Every word that came out of his mouth stung deep inside him, in a place Akutagawa had been sure he’d closed off long time ago. But now it felt like the scarred wounds were being ripped open with force greater than his strength and dug into with sharp familiar nails of degrading hatred.  

Mouth dry and throat bopping with a sound he refused to emit, Akutagawa swallowed down the burning sensation of shame he was feeling and tried desperately to compose himself. Of course Dazai-san was right. Of course he was putting the whole mission and truce between both organization at risk, and of course he was being dumb and stupid as always, but-

-----

“We’re family,” Chuuya-san had said to him once during one of his drunken moments. He’d put his warm finger against Akutagawa’s thin wrist and squeezed gently before muttering over and over again as if he didn’t think the younger man could hear him “We’re family”. It had been so honest and sincere that Akutugawa hadn’t been able to breathe for a second. “You’re drunk Chuuya-san,” he’d whispered back after barely getting past the painful feeling in his chest. “Let’s get you home.”

“No,” the other man had snapped. Face raising from the table and eyes locking him down in place while shining with unexpected clarity. “We’re family Ryuu-chan, so count on me sometimes k?”

“Ok,” he’d said. Eyes burning and lips trembling. “Ok.”

-The next day he’d told Chuuya-san to count on him too. Partly because he wanted the man to know that he trusted him but also because he had desperately wanted to know if Chuuya-san remembered what he’d said yesterday. Remembered what he had promised him. So when the other man had smiled, ruffled his hair and put his beloved hat on top of his head, just to say “I know. We’re family right,” something deep within him cracked a little, and he found himself hiding his face behind his hair and that well positioned hat.  

He hadn’t cried, but Akutagawa remembered that he had never felt as close to.

...Chuuya-san said they were family...

...Chuuya-san said he was counting on him...

...Chuuya-san said they were family...

“I’m sorry Dazai-san,” he finally spoke up. Voice soft, but steady enough to carry over to the group huddling at the corner behind the construction site. “But Chuuya-san might be in need of help, and I want to go.”

Dazai-san blinked. “And if I say no?”

Clenching his fist around the phone in his pocket, Akutagawa straightened his back. “I would go anyways.”

“Oh?” That dangerous glint was back in his eyes. “Decided to be someone else's lap dog from now on?”

The outraged look on the weretiger’s face might have been funny if Akutagawa believed in that type of humour.  

“No,” he said. Fingers unclenching entirely. Because things couldn’t have been anymore clearer for him now. Couldn’t have been more honest. He wasn’t lying to himself. “Chuuya-san is my family. And as you already know, I don’t leave my family behind.”

The “unlike you” rang loud and clear between them, and Dazai-san almost looked impressed.

The funny thing was, that it hadn’t been Akutagawa’s intentions at all. Not leaving family behind always came down to Gin in his mind. He didn’t leave her behind, so of course he wouldn’t leave Chuuya-san now either. It was only natural. But he wouldn’t try to clarify. Dazai-san could take it however he wanted it to.

“Go then,” his former mentor said. “We don’t really need you here.”

It didn’t hurt as much as he thought. Frankly the sense of relief he felt from those words was almost staggering.  

Nodding at the group, he locked eyes with his sister for a split second before he turned around and walked away.

Chuuya-san needed him.