#like great! the mob crew has the body but it’s completely out of his control

[just-a-tiny-goldfish]

I cant wait to see the options in book three for the reactions sidestep can have to Mortums betrayal

[leannetalksanime]

Shōnen Anime Through The Feminist Lens

During quarantine, there has been a significant rise in the popularity of Anime; this wave of new fans brought back memories of when I first started exploring anime and how I came to love this media. Anime is a confusing word: In the western world, anime a separate genre of animated shows and movies from the typical western cartoons (ie. SpongeBob, Tom and Jerry, etc.) while in Japan, it refers to any animation in general. But for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to anime as a type of animated show or movie that uses signature aspects of Japanese-style animation.

Usually, a person is recommended mainstream shows from the shōnen genre when introduced to anime. Shōnen anime and manga are marketed towards boys between the ages of 12-18, but a lot of people outside of that demographic enjoy this genre as well. I find myself watching and recommending shōnen shows because of how exceptionally written the plot, the character development, and worldbuilding are. However, problems with female representation stem from the misconception that shōnen is only for boys or that girls don’t enjoy these types of stories. It is frustrating to see how little action and development female characters are given compared to their male counterparts and how often they are sexualized for the sake of comedic relief or fan service. 

NARUTO and NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

The Naruto series follows the journey of Naruto Uzumaki as he achieves his dreams to be acknowledged by the village he lives in and become the Hokage (the leader of the village). It’s a story about saving the world, protecting your loved ones, and believing in yourself.

Almost every person who has watched more than 3 years of anime has seen Naruto; those who haven’t still can recognize characters, references, and general plot points. Yes, it is THAT popular. I knew about the show but, I put off this anime for so long because of the silly reason that Naruto was an annoying brat at the beginning of the series. It took me a few months to build up my courage to pick up the series again— and wow! I was glad I did! I restarted my journey about two months ago and, as of today, I have less than 50 episodes left to watch to finish the series (keep in mind that the complete series has about 700 episodes). I got attached to the characters for their development and their compelling stories. I saw Naruto grow from being a troublemaker to a dependable hero, watched Sasuke go down a dark path for the sake of revenge, and learned about Kakashi and Itachi’s heartbreaking childhoods. But the girls? Where are the girls?

As well written as the story is, girls in Naruto are viewed as support-type characters for the boys; their stories aren’t touched upon and remain the same throughout the series. The lack of development of the girls is best highlighted by Sakura— the main female character and the most hated person from the series, and dare I say, all of anime. At the beginning of the series, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura train together to become ninjas with their teacher, Kakashi. Sasuke was a prodigy and excelled in every task, Sakura was known for her intelligence and chakra control, and Naruto lacked skill yet impulsively charged headfirst towards his enemies. As the show went on, Naruto and Sasuke’s skills have grown on par as they continuously try to learn new powers to one-up the other. But Sakura stayed the same. Even though she gained super strength and trained to become a medical ninja under the Fifth Hokage, her abilities and progress are constantly shadowed by her teammates' flashy powers (look at the picture above). This gap is even more prominent after the time skip in Shippuden where she becomes a “damsel in distress” which annoyed a lot of fans. She had so much potential to become a great character. Even if she was not the strongest ninja, the show could have taken steps to make her valuable in some way even if all they did was make her an efficient support character to Naruto and Sasuke instead of making her seem like she is always in their way. The unbalance caused by the lack of active female roles in Naruto leaves the female audience unrepresented. The female characters' underdevelopment implied that the girls are incompetent and therefore don’t get to make an impact in the story.  

ONE PIECE

I can talk about this show for hours. With 950+ anime episodes and 1000+ manga chapters, One Piece is synonymous with art; it follows the story of Monkey D. Luffy and his crew, the Straw Hat Pirates, on an adventure to find One Piece. Unlike other shōnen stories, One Piece immerses the audience into a mysterious world that is complex, dynamic, and feels real. Every single character is well developed— each of them have insanely detailed backstories, memorable personalities, and compelling motivations making them feel human. The story also tackles unconventional topics such as slavery, racism, the justice system, and classism. I could go on and on listing reasons as to why I love One Piece or why it is worth catching up to the 950 episodes, but I feel like you should let One Piece in and find that out for yourself. 

Unlike Naruto, women take on significant roles in One Piece and are often admired as role models. However, the lack of body diversity and the over-sexualization of the female characters leave a rather unpleasant aftertaste. 

As seen above, they all suffer the same-body syndrome— large breasts, impossibly tiny waists, and skimpy clothing. I get that these are common types of fanservice but, there are plenty of questionable design choices whenever fanservice is prioritized over logic (ie. the top-left girl is supposed to be a gladiator but her outfit does the very opposite of protecting her as it leaves her vital areas exposed). Another issue I have is with Sanji and his behaviour around women. He is the prime example of what the internet would call a ‘simp’ where his perverse tendencies and chivalry clash whenever he is near a female character. I feel like his overprotectiveness toward women and his willingness to die for them is counterintuitive to the powerful portrayal of women in the story. I understand that fanservice isn't going anywhere but the girls’ unrealistic designs and their treatment dilute their complex characterization to mere pretty and delicate objects.

CONCLUSION

From a feminist point of view, Naruto and One Piece have their own shortcomings when it comes to the inclusion and depiction of girls. I particularly chose to talk about them because they are the central faces of the shōnen genre, both of them depict common issues with female representation in most shōnen stories. It is understandable to a certain extent as to why the authors chose to draw/develop their characters, however, the lack of active female characters in shōnen stories fuels the ” shōnen is for boys, therefore, don’t expect female representation” narrative. It would do no harm to write stronger and more complex female characters in these stories, in fact, it would make the stories much more interesting as there is variation in perspectives and experiences— especially now because of the strong societal push toward feminism and the growing female audience consuming anime media. The fact that shounen does target boys is perhaps the most important reason to feature complex, active female characters in these stories—not only as supportive figures or dream girls, but as someone they can relate to and look up to as well.

EXTRA: NEW GENERATION SHŌNEN!

Naruto and One Piece have been in the anime scene for decades, but as societal values shift, many New Generation Shōnen are trying to tackle the inclusion of feminism in their stories. Here are some:

Boku no Hero Academia, one of the primary faces of New Gen Shōnen: A superheroes story where superpowers or quirks rule the world.  Physical advantages male characters may have during fights is insignificant as the winner is decided by their ability to use their power at its full potential and their compatibility with the opponent’s quirk. Women are shown to have different body types, breaking the skinny hourglass stereotype with healthy and muscular bodies. Read more on how BNHA is breaking the moulds here: https://www.animefeminist.com/feature-hero-academia-confronts-shonen-sexism/ 

Mob Psycho 100: A supernatural shōnen where the main character, Mob, struggles with masculinity, battles for self-improvement, and desires to just be an amiable and helpful person. His story breaks the typical toxic masculinity tropes in shonen stories and instead focuses on Mob’s emotional journey to being comfortable with who he is. Read more about this here: https://www.animefeminist.com/anime-feminists-top-25-anime-of-the-decade/

Demon Slayer, another progressive main face of the New Gen Shōnen: A historical supernatural story where women are given major roles and are never looked down upon by their male counterparts. As demon slayers, their attire is unique to each individual yet fit for their job and is not compromised for the sake of fanservice.

- Leanne.

[into-crazy]

More to the Madness Pt. 1

Ledger!Joker x Female Reader series

Summary: The Joker is carrying out one if his plans, however you happen to interfere..

Warnings- Cursing, mentions of violence & murder, brief mention of abuse

You can find the other parts RIGHT HERE and through the “More to the Madness” tag lovelies💞💞

Gotham city has been extra hostile for the past couple weeks. Powerful mob bosses have control over the city. The mobsters are untouchable, using their illegally acquired wealth to keep them in charge. It's no surprise Jim Gordon and Gotham PD need the extra help they could get. Then of course, there's Batman, hot on the criminals trails- trying to put a stop to the dangerous mob activity. And now, the criminal mastermind known as the Joker, is causing a great amount of this town's chaos. As the Joker seems to be a rising threat, Batman is also in search of him and his henchmen. Somewhere in the city, Joker and his crew embark on one of their tasks. A corrupt politician stores his wealth- both legal and mob earned- in a luxury penthouse on the nicer side of Gotham...

There's an aggressive banging on the door before it's immediately kicked in. Two armed men with clown masks enter, followed by the clown boss himself with a pump shotgun rested over his shoulder. The rest of the crew quickly follow. Five seconds through the door, they're met with the opposite of expected. "What the hell," one of the masked men whispers.

"Hm," the Joker hums with disappointment. The place is left quiet, two dead bodyguards throughout the place. To his dismay, someone has already eliminated his targets. They examine the scene around them- drugs are out, broken glass everywhere, and weapons discarded on the floor. "Do you think it was Batman?" one of the men ask aloud.

"No.." the Joker answers running his tongue over his lips. Using his gun, he nudges one of the bodies, getting a closer look at the fatal wound on the neck. He knows that if it was Batman, these men would still be alive. Cuffed down, and left for the police to come apprehend. "The Bat doesn't kill. This was someone else, and they might have already taken the money. Look arou-" His words are cut off by a shattered noise coming from one of the rooms down the hall. They hurriedly make way to the sound source.

Stepping into the room, they find the main man they were looking for- David Morris, seated at his office desk lying face flat on the table top. A pool of blood forming around his motionless head. His large safe is located in a wall behind him, still sealed. Joker just walks in when a noise comes from the back corner of the room. A figure seems to be trying to make a quiet getaway out the window- it's you.

"Hey! Stop right there!" One if the henchmen shout aiming his weapon.

"Shit," you whisper to yourself as your foot rests atop the frame. And to think you were almost out, you had to clumsily knock that whiskey bottle off the table. Slowly stepping down from the window, you keep your back towards them. Completely unaware of who was behind you, not having had any run-ins with Gotham police or Batman for the matter. Staying in the shadows and never revealing yourself to anyone made that possible, and you made sure it stayed that way. Until now, it seems.

In a flash, you raise your hands up. "You got me!" You respond, "Now is this the part where you cuff me, or do you wanna frisk me first?" You sarcastically ask waving your arms. With no response, you slightly turn your head to see who's there. A bunch of men in clown masks. Great, just what you needed.

"Whew, it's just you," you sign lowering your arms, "I was afraid I'd have to knock a cop out." Turning around facing them.

You were quite the sight- hair parted into two lowered, messy buns. Black makeup around your eyes smeared down like tear streams, complemented with black lipstick. You wore a red, fitted cloth catsuit. Black hooded sweater and knee high boots. But most importantly, you were strapped- leather thigh harnesses which held a few knives and a small handgun.

The goons were puzzled, but the Joker had no time for this. "Grab her." He commanded walking over to the desk. Two start fast approaching you.

"Don't you dare put your filthy hands on me." You protest as they each grab hold of your arms. At that, you elbowed them hard in their faces- knocking one cold out. Turning to the other, you knee him in the gut and put him in a headlock with your weapon on him. "Move, ah- and I'll blow your damn brains out all over this fucking wall." You threaten the goon. The others point their firearms at you, waiting for a response to fire.

"What?" You ask innocently batting your lashes, "I told them not to touch me."

"Who the hell is she?" "Is she working for the Bat?" The goons ask amongst themselves. Seemingly puzzled with the entire situation happening before them.

Grabbing everyone's attention in the midst of the confusion, Joker starts a slow clap. "Bravo," he starts, each clap echoing the quiet room. "Very impressive. My, my.. I admit, I like the fight in you. But it seems like you're outnumbered here?" He smugly gestures towards the other armed men.

"Ahh, you must be the boss," you state as you struggle to hold the masked goon. Oh shit. The colored suit and messy greasepaint made to resemble a clown.. Realization immediately hit, you are standing in front of the Joker himself. "The one they-ugh call Joker?"

"That's right." He implies licking his lips.

The Joker is not one you'd wanna fuck around with. Or could you? No, no bad idea. Plus, he's right, you're ridiculously outnumbered. Time to play nice. "Well Joker, sir, I know how-ugh hard it is to find good help these days. So if I give your-ugh guy here back, can I go without any trouble?" You offer.

"I'll think about it," he replies, "if you answer a few questions for me first."

"Have your men lower their-ugh weapons. Then I'll gladly oblige." You urge squinting your eyes at him.

"Done." He confirms and his men lower their guns. "I gotta say, you're very.. interesting." You lower yours and nudge the man forward harshly. Ignoring his desperate coughs as he removes the mask to catch his breath.

"Don't worry about the one on the floor, he'll wake up eventually." You shrug refocusing on the Joker to get a better look. Running your eyes over his signature purple suit, messy green hair, and the grimy face paint- white painted face with black around the eyes and a bright red smile. "So, you're the man I've heard so much about- bringing this city a great deal of fear and chaos. Hmm, I must say you're even more dashing in person." You can’t help but admire aloud.

He lowers the shotgun from his shoulder looking you over, "I am. Although most people wouldn’t agree on me being quite so uh, dashing." There’s a hint of humor in his tone that he doesn’t care to conceal. "Now, would you mind telling me who you are?"

You shake your head, "Sorry, I don't do names."

"You uh, work for Maroni? Or any of the other mob bosses?" He presses.

"No." You answer with a straight face.

"Alright, I'll bite. Who do you work for then?" He laughs.

"I don't work for anyone and no one knows my name. I don't exist to the world out there." You slowly strut over to the table.

"You saying you're a ghost?" Joker questions curiously.

Smiling at him you answer, "If that's what you want to call it. Let's just say I lurk so deep in the shadows, that even the Bat doesn't know about me. This.. this is a first."

The Joker's impressed that you've managed to stay so low profile. Pleased even, to run into you first before the Batman. But, his attention is immediately brought back to why he's here to begin with. "So.. Morris," he points out, "what was this all about?"

"He was a terrible man, had the nerve to force himself onto young women without their consent." You continue, "Wealthy scumbag, easily able to have it swept under the rug. I wouldn't have it, so I took care of it." Shrugging it away, one less degenerate on the earth.

"So you weren't here for the money?" He's surprised, practically everyone in the city was after this guy’s money.

"What? No. It's all still in his safe right there." You reply pointing over. "In fact," making your way completely to the desk, "the coward offered to give me the combination if I agreed to spared his life."

"Typical," Joker scoffs wetting his lips. He watches as you remove a picture frame from the wall next to the dead man.

Having his eyes set on you so intently feels intimidating, you try to shake the feeling away as you find your next words. "Yeah, he has it written down on the back of this." You flip it over revealing the numbered combination taped behind. "Here ya go," you hold it out for him to take. Being this close you notice his scars a little more. Formed over the sides of his mouth, covered by the red paint. From what you've heard, many people found them disturbing, but you were intrigued slightly. Snapping out of it, you look him in eyes.

His dart from yours to the frame, then right back at you with a grin. "You open it.”

"Fine." You huff turning towards the safe to enter the code. Good thing you’re wearing gloves, not that it would matter anyways. Code in, the only thing next is the.. thumb print. "Oops, almost forgot-" you yank the dead man's hand, "can't forget the print." Pressing the thumb down onto the scanner proves to be more difficult than it looks. You’re struggling to keep a steady hold. Shit, his arm is heavy. Well, he was a hefty set guy. Luckily he sat right next to the safe. Otherwise it'd be a hassle dragging his carcass across the room. Or the alternative, which would be chopping his hand off if that task deemed impossible.. Nope. This works out a lot better.

Driing! It makes a noise before unlocking. You toss the arm back, giggling at the sound of the thump as the body hits the table. Pulling the door open, everyone shifts to look inside. It's loaded with large stacks of bills. "See," you wave over, "anything else I could do for you, sir? Dust the surfaces, maybe shine your shoes?" The sarcasm obvious in your tone.

"Bag it up," Joker orders his boys. They cautiously pass you, moving over into the small vault. Few of them throwing you strange glances while the others avoid any eye contact whatsoever. "I gotta know," Joker walks around the table towards you. "How do you manage to stay off the police and Batman's radars when you go around pulling these?" He motions to the table behind.

"I take care of the cameras and make sure there's no witnesses." You continue, "I try to go about it quietly, leave no traces. Then flee the scene quickly as possible. Gordon and the Bat just assume it was a job gone wrong, or a mob hit." You both watch the men stuff the cash in large duffel bags and carry them out to the hallway.

"Convincing enough," the Joker commends. "Takes a lot of skill. Guess you're pretty well hidden."

"Yeah I am, and it stays that way." You point out. "Last thing I need is Batman finding out. That'd be a real drag." Rolling your eyes at the mention of the caped crusader.

"Understood," he acknowledges, nodding his head slightly. There's a slight pause before he continues. "But, how would you like to come out of the shadows and join the madness?" He offers with his tongue rolling over his red lips- you recognize he tends to do that a lot often. You also notice the gleam in his eyes. The man who supposedly had the darkest of eyes.. The murderous, psychopathic clown who wreaks havoc wherever he's seen.. the Joker.. has a gleam in his eyes that you might've just caught. Oh that mischievous, inviting spark of light.

"Not a chance," you blink, shaking your head, "Thanks, but I'm content with staying hidden."

"Ah, the shadows are no fun," he scoffs, "But if that's what you choose, so be it. My offer stands." Not seeming too happy about it, as he doesn't take kindly to 'no' for an answer. Had it been anyone else, he would've just shot them then and there. End of story. But you had piqued his curiosity, and that's a damn hard thing to do. He sees potential in you, how much you could contribute. You could cause some real damage with a little push from him, and the idea excites him.  He reaches into the confines of his large coat, pulling out a joker playing card. "Here's my card," he gestures for you to take, "In case you change your mind."

You politely pluck the card from his grasp. Looking over the digits before tucking it away in a pocket. "I'll think about it." You tell him, walking to the window you attempted to climb out of moments ago.

"Just don't get in my way while you do." He taunts, "I wouldn't want anything to happen to that pretty little face of yours." He slyly smiles revealing one of his blades.

Unintimidated, you put your left leg over the window frame and he catches a glimpse of the throwing knives attached to your thighs. "Oh mister J," you smile playfully, "I can assure you, I won't."

The crew finish bagging the cash. "We got it all boss," one of the men confirms. Joker turns, "Head out." He tells them before looking your way, "See you soon."

"Count on that, and you just might," you wave before disappearing out of the window.

Joker snickers to himself before leaving the room. He knows you'll come around. And he's already looking forward to your next encounter, which is definitely going to happen.

That's the end of Part 1. This series is still in the works, I'm not sure how long I want to go with it yet. There's lots of problems to come! And even some smut😉 I've always had this idea of a bad-ass female(reader) sparking TDK Joker's interest. And vice versa. Didn't want to address it yet in the summary and ruin the surprise. What do you think of it so far?

[babbushka]

Each Eye (2/8)

Kylo was the most feared boss in the entirety of New York City. They said that the crime families were no more, that they had disappeared with the end of an era. You knew it wasn’t true, you saw first hand. The families didn’t disappear, they simply went underground, adapted.

Lucky for you, your man, and your family, no one could ever get rid of crime. Not really.

Mob Boss!Kylo x Reader 

Word count: 9.6k Warnings: Gun violence, graphic violence, organized crime, blood, language, nsfw (explicit sexual content yeehaw baby lol)

                                             ------------------------------

He woke up before you, as he always did.

Kylo tended to sleep like an octopus, all long limbs thrown about. Always a hand on you somewhere, if not completely wrapped around you. You’d be fucked if you ever woke up before him, those arms of his had a habit of tightening around you subconsciously when you tried to pull away to get up so you could use the bathroom or even just to stretch.

But he woke up before you, kissed you awake like he always did.

You smiled against his lips, let yourself be kissed sweetly.

The two of you were laying on your sides, facing one another under the covers. It was so warm, warm and safe in your grand penthouse that overlooked the city. He kissed you and you slid your arms around him, encouraging him to glue himself to you.

“Morning.” He said, that baritone pressing into your skin in a way that turned you to jelly.

You didn’t have to look at the clock to know it was exactly five a.m., the same time he woke you up every day. He didn’t like to be up by himself for too long.

“Morning.” You smiled back, easing the sleep out of your body with soft grunts as you stretched your calves and rolled your shoulders.

“Can I?” Kylo asked, and you kissed him.

“Come here.” You replied, rolling over onto your back and parting your thighs.

In the soft light of the moon, not yet dawn, you swore you saw a little smile grace his lips.

Languorously, Kylo fucked you. He always woke up hard, it was sweet how he craved you so much, even in sleep he was desperate for you. But ever the gentleman he asked, wanted to make sure you wanted it, wanted him. If you ever said no, he’d take care of himself on his own – not that you said no very often.

It was a wonderful way to wake up, and sometimes you wish he’d fuck you awake instead of just kiss you, wake you with an orgasm, but he was too polite, even after all this time.

You and Kylo had been married for three entire years, would be three years on the dot tomorrow, but you’d known him your whole life.

You’d loved him just as long.

“(Y/N)…” He said your name over and over again, like it was a prayer dripping from his lips, like he wasn’t sure if this was real or just another one of his dreams. He’s generally quiet when he fucks you like this, when you let him be on top, when you let him have some semblance of control.

You’re always the one in charge, despite what people think, but it’s nice to let him do what he wants sometimes. You’ll drag moans out of him later, when you know he’ll need it.

You moaned and clutched at his back, kissed and sucked marks onto his neck as that cock of his worked into you. It was real, you wanted him to know it was real. You let your nails dig into the meat of his shoulder, the slight sting of it enough to ground him.

It wasn’t fast or rough, not this early, but it was more than enough to make your toes curl and your eyes clamp shut, the sound of his heavy breathing and the feeling of him atop you so fully making you feel so completely surrounded and overwhelmed.

“Kylo, I’m gonna – ” You started and he nodded, cut you off with a kiss.

“Go ahead, I’m right – I’m right there.” He drooled into your mouth just a little, and if you didn’t love him so much you’d probably think it was gross, but very little about Kylo grossed you out, not really.

You came at the same time, his hips coming to a stop and he grunted as he shot his load deep inside you. You’d been trying, finally decided to start trying, and Kylo was hooked on the idea of it, so he kept himself buried inside you even as he started kissing the sweat from your face. You shifted your hips a little to get more comfortable, and he moved with you.

The light of pre-dawn started to filter through the blue of night, and you pet back his hair behind his ears as he kept kissing your skin.

“Busy day today?” You asked, not wanting to rush him, just wanting to know what was on the agenda for the day.

Saturdays were usually packed with visits to family and friends alike, Kylo had no real concept of weekend rest. The rest of the family kept the Sabbath, so no one was out and about, meaning if anything wanted to get done, Kylo had to do it. Sometimes you wished he would just relax with you for a little bit, but he gets antsy if he’s not doing something for too long.

Always has to be doing something, your man.

He did all his own scheduling, unlike some of the other families who had a right-hand or a secretary do it for them. Kylo loved and trusted his people, but like everything else, he was very much of the belief that if you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself.

You had your calendars on your phone synched up, but it didn’t really matter because you weren’t ever away from him long enough to need to check.

“Yeah.” He said with a content sigh, finally pulling out of you with a bit of a wince from the oversensitivity. You knew if he could get away with staying inside you forever, he would.  “I want to go visit everyone. And visit Midtown.”

A busy day indeed then, you thought.

“You think it’s a good idea going down there before talking to Rey?” You asked, kissed and nipped at the strong muscle of his shoulder.

“If she’s doing her job, she’ll already be down there and we can talk to her then.” He rolled his eyes, making you grin and bite a little harder at his sass.

Kylo liked to be hands-on, never some mysterious man in the shadows. He wanted the people who liked him to know who they liked, and the people who hated him to know who they hated.

Not a lot of people hated Kylo, but enough.  

“Should I start breakfast?” You asked, but he frowned and buried his face in your neck, licked his tongue along your pulse, always so clingy.

Your arms held him tight, and he sighed again, but this time with contentment.

“Mmm, just stay here with me for a little bit first?” His muffled words tingled your neck, making you smile.

Getting Kylo out of bed was a lot harder than it really needed to be. He was incredibly difficult to get into bed, but once he was in he never wanted to leave. He once kept you in bed for three days straight, had Six bring up food and drink for you. You only ever took breaks to use the bathroom before it was right back to rolling around in the sheets.

It wasn’t always sex, either. Most of the time he liked just being close to you, collecting you against his chest as you watched a movie or whatever you had put on the Netflix list. Sometimes the two of you sat up in bed and played cards, sometimes you just talked, sometimes you wrestled.

He always let you win, bless him.

“Can we at least go to the bathroom first?” You asked, your bladder finally catching up to the rest of you.

“If we have to.” Kylo groaned, ever the one for dramatics, and you laughed as the sun started peeking its way over the skyline.

“We do.” You nudged him, laughed as he let himself turn into dead weight as you struggled to push him off the mattress.

                                              ------------------------------

An hour later you finally convinced him to get out of bed for the day. As much as you loved your bedroom, your favorite spot in the house was downstairs, was the outrageously large living room. With windows spanning the entire wall, you had a perfect view of the Chrysler building as you ate your breakfast, surrounded by the soft muted greys of the furnishings.

Breakfast was eaten on the couch, the dishes left in the sink of the kitchen to be dealt with later. Against Kylo’s insistence, you did the dishes as opposed to the cleaning crew that came in every week. You figured they had enough to do with the five thousand square-foot two-story apartment as it was, plus sometimes it was fun to pretend you were a normal housewife.

You were anything but, but it was fun to pretend every once in a while.

Kylo drank an entire pot of coffee all on his own, black and bitter. You had a cup or two yourself, mostly cream and sugar, and you each made fun of each other’s preferences in that way that only you could.

The shower was quick and efficient, Kylo hated showering in the morning, preferred to do it at night to unwind. You showered together, because of course you did, you did everything together.

“Which black suit are we wearing today?” You asked with a teasing hum once you both had dried off and were standing in his closet.

You were already dressed, already knew what you wanted to wear. A simple navy velvet number, one that’d look good with your hair and coloring. You wished more people wore navy, it was such a flattering shade of blue.

Kylo ought to wear navy every once in a while, you thought with a big grin that he caught and rolled his eyes.  

“Keep teasing me and I’m not taking you to Paris.” He grumbled. Looked like he was still waiting for the coffee to kick in, such a grump. You loved him.

“You wouldn’t dare.” You scoffed, reaching into one of the drawers and pulling out a nice set of cufflinks to fasten to his button down.

They were a pair you had bought him for your one year anniversary, beautiful garnet ovals that were his exact favorite shade of red.

“Try me.” He swooped down for a kiss as you fixed his cuffs and straightened his tie, matching red satin.

“You’re feisty today.” You tugged on his tie with a great big smile, and you swore you saw a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Can’t help it, you’ve rubbed off on me these three years.” He was always so reserved, everything he said was always so quiet, even when it was playful or humorous. It was one of the things you had grown to appreciate the most about him, the way his eyes sparkled with mirth whenever he was in a good mood.

“Only the three?” You playfully frowned, and he kissed it off your lips, making you laugh.

“Let’s go you terror, before I throw you back in bed.” He said with a pinch to your ass, making you swat his arm.

He caught it and wrapped it around him, the two of you leaving the penthouse side by side.

                                              ------------------------------

Since it was Saturday and no one in your family was working, Kylo got to drive.

Owning too many cars didn’t make sense, living in the city and all. It was far easier to be driven, but Dopheld and Thanisson were being good Jewish boys and spending the day with their mothers, so Kylo got to be the one to weave in and out of traffic.  

He drove with his hand on your thigh, only taking it off to give assholes on the road the middle finger.

The first stop on the list was the deli, Katz’s in the Lower East Side.

It was a historic building, always busy, and today was no exception. In fact, because it was Saturday morning, it was probably even more busy than usual, so you and Kylo made your way through the back entrance, not wanting to draw too much attention walking in the front.

“Kylo! (Y/N)! My god, what a pleasant surprise!” Richard Cohen, the current owner of the delicatessen spotted you happily as you closed the door behind you.

“Hi Mr. Cohen, how are you today?” You grinned, leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Terrific, absolutely terrific I gotta admit. All thanks to you two no less.” Richard had always been a very upbeat guy, it tended to make you chuckle to yourself seeing stoic Kylo next to such an energetic and all over the place kind of guy. “Did you happen to get the gift I sent you?”

“We did, it was very kind, thank you.” Kylo nodded.

Gifts had been getting delivered to the apartment for the past week, all from various people who wanted to stay in Kylo’s good graces, and genuinely send congratulations to the two of you.

Richard had sent gorgeous bouquets of flowers, a dozen of them, populated with all of your favorite kinds of florals. Kylo had sat back while you instructed the delivery men to place all the giant bouquets around, and you smiled at the flowers every chance you got.

“Well a little birdie told me that it was a certain someone’s anniversary soon so I couldn’t not send something.” Richard winked, making you grin.

“Mr. Cohen you are positively the sweetest.” You raised an eyebrow, “How’d you know?”

“A butcher knows everything, Mrs. Ren.” Richard said.

“If that’s so then why don’t you come work for us?” Kylo joked, earning him a pleased squeeze of the hand from you.

“If I weren’t an old man, you bet I would.” Richard said with such conviction that you both believed him.

“Have there been any problems, any at all?” Kylo asked sincerely, not unkindly.

“No Mr. Ren! Believe me, I wouldn’t keep something like that from you.” Richard said, shaking his head vehemently. “No, thanks to you we’ve not been having any issues whatsoever.”

“Alright, but you’ll let me know?” Kylo insisted, and Richard nodded.

“Of course I will – here have a bite to eat, hm?” He offered, walking towards the kitchen.

“Mr. Cohen I’m sorry but we’ve already eaten.” You explained, making Richard pause.

“Take some to go for lunch then.” He said with a big smile, and you graciously accepted the sub sandwiches he wrapped in paper for you.

                                              ------------------------------

The two of you were just leaving out the back way that you came, when a car pulled up right in the alleyway.

Kylo had a fantastic poker face, but you could feel him tense up as he stood in front of you, hand twitching to reach into his suit jacket and pull out his gun. You had throwing knives in the heel of your shoes, should you need to be quicker than Kylo – but Kylo was pretty quick, so you just froze too as the window of the car rolled down, revealing a very impassive Jabba the Hutt.

“That was some fucking stunt you pulled with Rotta.” The old man said, puffing on a cigar.

Kylo didn’t relax entirely, but he knew he could handle Jabba, knew he wouldn’t shoot Kylo in broad daylight. As Jabba always liked to say, things ain’t what they used to be.

“Is he dead?” Kylo asked, not bothering too much to put any amount of care in his voice.

“You better wish he were dead, because if he ain’t he’s coming for you.” Jabba said, and the two of them had a stare-down for a moment.

Kylo was the expert in patience, and he always won.

He was still staring with a cool poker face, when Jabba broke out into a big wet laugh.

“Yeah I doubt that.” Kylo muttered, mostly so only you could hear, before raising his voice and asking, “Where the fuck were you yesterday?”

“I had some business to attend to.” Jabba shrugged, blowing smoke.

“Business? Jabba it’s the one night a year there ain’t supposed to be any business.” Kylo scoffed with a frown.

“Yeah? So what. There was business.” Jabba dismissed him, which you didn’t like.

You didn’t like it one bit.

“Even Hux showed up.” You said from behind Kylo, making Jabba’s eyebrows raise.

“That slimy sycophant?” He hummed, now starting to regret not showing up. “He tell you he wanted Hell’s Kitchen?”

“You’d know if you showed up.” You shrugged, making him grit his teeth. You could tell by the way his jaw moved.

“Look. About Rotta, I’m sorry, I don’t know where the fuck he gets that behavior of his from.” Jabba sighed, and Kylo’s hand tensed in yours.

“If you’re looking for an apology – ” Kylo started, only for Jabba to wave his hand.

“I’m not, you did the right thing, I don’t blame you.” Jabba said. “If some piece of shit kid said somethin’ about my wife I woulda blown his guts all over the wall. You were too nice to him.”

“He gonna live?” Kylo asked. He had purposefully shot the kid in places he knew he’d recover from, no vital organs or anything like that. Maybe he’d need a new kidney, who knew.

Kylo knew, and you knew, and Jabba knew.

“Yeah, he’ll be okay. Got the best surgeons lookin’ after him.” He said.

“Pity.” Kylo replied.

After a tense moment, Jabba burst out into the obnoxious laughter again, and the window rolled up, and he drove away.

You and Kylo stood there, watching the car disappear into traffic before he held the door open for you to climb into his jaguar, the two of you heading the opposite direction.

                                              ------------------------------

The drive to midtown didn’t take too long, twenty minutes because of traffic. The two of you soon found yourselves on the front stoop of Rey’s gorgeous three floor town-home.

Rey yanked the door open and was scowling at her brother from across the threshold before Kylo could even bother to ring the doorbell.

“Rey.” Kylo greeted his sister, pushing his way in the door.

“What are you doing here?” She asked with a groan, clearly just having gotten out of bed.

She was wrapped in a white fluffy robe and was still clad in her slippers, her hair all mussed from sleep.

You kissed her cheek in greeting and she closed the door behind you, locked all five bolts and retreated into the kitchen where Kylo had made himself comfortable, leaning against the counter with his hands in his pockets.

You always wondered how those big hands of his fit into pockets, pockets weren’t made big enough for them, for those baseball mitts of his.

“Smelling the roses, what the fuck do you think I’m doing here?” Kylo snapped.

Rey sighed and poured herself a big mug of coffee, even though it was already after eleven o’clock in the morning.

“Kylo I don’t have time to talk to you today.” Rey said, checking the calendar that hung up on the side of one of the cabinets. “It’s Saturday, you shouldn’t be working anyway.”

“You’re my last stop of the day.” Kylo lied, making you chuckle.

“Oh hello.” A familiar voice sounded from the stairs.

“Gwen!” You smiled, “What a surprise.”

Gwen was in a tank top and shorts, her muscles on full display. You couldn’t help but mentally give yourself a high-five for being right, about the two of them, about their chemistry at dinner last night. You would have bet money that they would have gone home together, just by the very way they sat leaning in towards one another all evening.

“Is it?” Gwen asked, a teasing eyebrow raised.

“No.” You laughed as she swatted your arm playfully.

Rey was mortified, absolutely mortified, her face gone a dark red.

“Can you please leave now?” She asked as Kylo poured himself a mug of his own from the French press Rey had brewed up.

You put a gentle hand on his wrist, a signal that that was the last one for today. He nodded minutely, and you smiled.

“No, since I’ve got you both here, we need to figure out what the fuck is going on with Hell’s Kitchen and Midtown in general.” Kylo said, practically grumbled.

“(Y/N) control your husband.” Rey turned to you, but you just waved her off.

“Oh let him get it out. The sooner you listen to him, the sooner he’ll leave you alone.” You said, and Kylo nodded.

“Why’d you give me the fucking thing if you were just going to micromanage it anyway?” Rey snatched the French press from his hands and set it down on the marble counter top.

“To get you out of my hair and give you something to do, to be honest.” Kylo said making Rey roll her eyes, “But looks like that fucking backfired on me, because I got this yesterday morning.”

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his voice mails until he found the one he was looking for, put it on speaker and tossed the phone onto the counter as it played:

“Hey uh, Mr. Ren? It’s Lenny. I know I’m supposed to talk directly with your sister, but no one can get a hold of her? Anyway, I figured I’d call you because we’ve been gettin’ some trouble around here – robberies – and no one really seems to be doin’ anything about it? Not for nothin’, and I mean no disrespect sir, but we don’t pay you for you to not do anything, you know? Anyway, please call me back or send someone down, I’d appreciate it. Once again, this is Lenny, from Hell’s Kitchen.”

“So.” Kylo said, expectantly, his hand on your hip.

“I don’t know who Lenny is.” Rey shrugged.

“Lenny Leibowitz?” Kylo stared at her like he was getting ready to strangle her. You gently took the coffee cup from him and sipped it instead as Kylo tried jogging his sister’s memory, “He runs the fucking bodega, where half the coke in midtown is stored? If people are robbing him, then they might find it and then we’d be in big fuckin’ trouble, wouldn’t we?”

“Oh.” Realization dawned on Rey finally, and she winced when she figured it out. “Well do we know who’s robbing him?”

“No but I’m about to go down there and find out, because if there’s one thing we do, it’s fix problems that shouldn’t be caused in the first fucking place.” Kylo said, picking his phone up off the counter and shoving it in his pocket.

“Okay, you go and tell me what’s what.” Rey said, and even Gwen raised her eyebrows at that.

“Rey, come on.” She said gently.

“Jesus, you think you can fuck the brat out of her?” Kylo said to Gwen, who licked her teeth in a silent laugh.

“Kylo!” Rey’s face burned, but no one gave a shit.

“Come on, (Y/N), let’s go.” Kylo said, having done all the embarrassment he wanted to accomplish for the day. You waved a little goodbye to the women as the two of you left the townhome.

                                              ------------------------------

The bodega wasn’t far away at all, so the two of you decided to leave the car parked outside Rey’s house and instead of driving, you walked.

You liked holding Kylo’s hand like this, liked how your footsteps lined up with one another. Left foot right foot, left again. The weather was cool but not too cold yet, it was still too early in September for it to be too cold. You admired the way the leaves had begun to change, started to grow excited for the season to be in full swing. Kylo was deep in thought, his grip on your hand tight.

You sometimes wondered what went on inside his head, but you knew him well enough to know.

“I like Lenny.” You said, wanting to break the companionable silence.

“He’s real nice.” Kylo agreed, smoked the cigarette that he lit when the two of you started your short walk.

“Hey, look at me?” You asked, squeezing his hand in the way that tells him you’re worried. He met your eyes right away, and you gave him a little smile, saw the ghost of a dimple make an appearance. “This is our last stop, right?”

“Hopefully.” He replied, taking a deep drag of his cigarette.

You knew that meant probably not, and you chewed your lip.

“When we get home, suits off, guns away, just be with me. Okay?” You asked, and he nodded, tension sliding from his shoulders.

“Okay.” He agreed.

You brought his hand to your lips and gave his scarred knuckles a soft kiss.

“Promise?” You asked, knowing he’d never break a promise.

“I promise honey.” He said, as the two of you arrived at the bodega.

 The bodega was a small unassuming little thing. Sat right on the corner, its windows were filled to the brim with signs and posters for upcoming events around the neighborhood. People passed it by and went in all day, some stopping for a cool drink and sandwich, others stocking up with groceries for the week. It was a tiny crammed store that did very very good business, which is why in the basement there were crates and crates of stolen goods and weapons under the floorboards where no one would ever suspect.

Lenny Leibowitz was a young guy, just about Kylo’s age. He had recently inherited the bodega from his father who passed last year, who had worked with the Organa family for as long as he had lived in New York. Lenny knew things, knew how things worked and was always gracious, always more than happy to comply with Kylo’s way of business.

“Mr. Ren! Thank you so much for coming, I’m so sorry to have bothered you with this.” Lenny said when the little door bell to the store rang as Kylo held the door open for you.

Lenny came around the counter to shake Kylo’s hand.

“Please, Mr. Leibowitz, I can’t express how sorry I am to have put you in this position.” Kylo said truthfully. He hated when this sort of thing happened, it reminded him of his father’s shitty business.

“Oh, it ain’t your fault, I know that. I was just a little frustrated when I called, that’s on me. I shoulda listened to my wife and cooled down before calling.” Lenny chuckled nervously.

“Wives know best, don’t they, Mr. Leibowitz?” You asked playfully, making Lenny laugh.

Kylo liked how you always put everyone at ease, his hand warm as it splayed across the small of your back.

“(Y/N)! I have something for you.” Lenny snapped his fingers as he remembered something. “Well, you and Kylo really. I know the anniversary is comin’ up soon.”

Lenny left to go to the back of the bodega, and you and Kylo just exchanged glances. He was such a fun little man, you thought.

He came back with a large bottle of very nice champagne that was wrapped with a red ribbon, and presented it to you. You took it graciously, and tucked it into the crook of your arm.

“Thank you so much, but first we’d like to talk about the robberies, if that’s alright?” You smiled patiently, Lenny remembering why you were there in the first place.

“Of course! Of course, it’s more than alright. Do you want to come see?” He asked, beckoning you back towards the back of the store where it looked like someone had knocked a ton of shit over.

“You didn’t call the cops or anything, did you?” Kylo asked, and Lenny gasped.

“The cops?” He frowned, scandalized that Kylo would even ask, “Of course not, I don’t got any use for those pigs. Besides, I don’t think they’d be happy to see this…” Lenny opened up a trap door that was hidden underneath a long mat in front of the coolers.

Inside was a view of the basement, and even from a cursory glance Kylo could tell no one had gone down there and fucked with anything.

“So they didn’t take any of it?” Kylo asked, just to be sure.

“No, only the cash from the register and some merchandise from the shelves.” Lenny gestured to the fucked up displays. “You want to take a look at the camera footage?”

Kylo nodded, reached out and grabbed a bag of chips.

“Pull it up. We’ll replace the cash, and pay for the lost goods, and give you some extra for your trouble.” He said to make up for the whole thing.

Lenny shifted his feet, averted his eyes nervously.

“Thank you Mr. Ren. The thing is, and please don’t get mad, but well…they took your monthly payment. I keep it in the register, you know? So it ain’t suspicious.” Lenny looked like he was bracing to be punched, poor thing, and if it hadn’t been his own fault, Kylo probably would have.

But, considering that he had dropped his end of the bargain by virtue of Rey not doing her fucking job, he took full responsibility for this whole fucking mishap.

“Don’t worry about it, and don’t worry about paying next month either. This never should have happened on our watch, and you were right in your message; you don’t pay us for nothing.” Kylo said, pursed his lips in that way of his where he’s trying not to scowl.

He’d really bitch at Rey about this later.

“Thank you Kylo, I really appreciate it. Hux woulda had my head for this.” Lenny sighed, making you perk up.

“Hux been bothering you?” You asked carefully, keeping your voice even.

You kept your eyes on the screen, and finally there were the guys who had robbed Lenny – big guys in ski-masks, like this was the fucking 1980s or something.

“He came around a week ago when there was a lot of shit going on, made some vague threats.” Lenny nodded, the three of you walking away from the trap door and towards the register where Kylo unrolled some bills to pay for the chips.

“What kind of threats?” You asked, making Lenny shrug.

“Oh I didn’t put any stock in any of it, just that I ‘might not be ownin’ the corner store soon, if he has his way.’ That sorta thing.”

You and Kylo didn’t have to look at each other to know that he was obviously behind this. But just to be sure,

“When did he come around?” Kylo asked, tone light.

“Wednesday?” Lenny thought out loud, “Yeah Wednesday around noon.”

“And when was the break-in?” You asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the small cooler right by the register.

Kylo dropped a couple more bills on the counter.

“Yesterday morning.” Lenny confirmed. He must’ve called right after it happened, you thought.

“Jesus, I’m sorry Lenny.” You said, “We’re gonna ask around, see if we can’t figure out who they were workin’ for.”

“You count up how much you’ll need and send me the number, I’ll get you the cash right away, send one of my boys to deliver it tomorrow first thing.” Kylo said, arm around you.

Lenny was still giving his thanks as the little bell dinged, the door closing behind you.

 Just as you were about to make the short walk back to where you’d left the car, you spotted the man who matched the exact same build as the one on the security camera footage.

“Hey!” You shouted, voice commanding as it echoed down the alleyway across the street.

Without thinking, you sprinted, ran straight through traffic as cars honked and people hollered at you. Kylo was close behind, always close behind you. He stepped in front of you and shot the sonofabitch in the leg, sending him to the ground with a strangled scream. You were glad Kylo brought the silencer along with him today, glad for the horns of traffic to mask the sounds.

“Oh fuck!” The guy shouted, cried and cried and shouted some more as blood oozed from his calf, turning his jeans a dark ruddy brown.

Kylo looked both ways before kicking the nearest door down – thankfully one of the hidey holes you knew about – and dragged the guy in.

You quickly turned on the lights and locked the door as Kylo tossed the guy into the center of the room.

“Do you know who I am?” Kylo asked, crouched down to meet the guy’s eyeline.

You didn’t know why he bothered sometimes, no one ever was going to give him a straight answer, not in these sort of conditions.

Kylo didn’t care.

“No.” The guy gasped out, clutching at his leg.

The day had really taken a turn, you thought as you circled the guy, leaned against the desk just behind him.

Kylo looked up at you briefly, saw you twitch your left eyebrow.

Lying.

“Don’t waste my time any more than you already have. I don’t like to repeat myself.” Kylo said evenly, as the guy started going into shock.

“We ain’t gonna hurt you if you just tell us the truth.” You offered from your spot on the desk, not wanting to get blood on your new shoes.

“Christ, there’s a fucking bullet in my leg – bit late for that.” The guy said.

You frowned, he had an accent, an English accent.

What was Hux doing with English guys?

“Do you know who I am?” Kylo asked, starting to lose his patience.

He stood up and planted his shiny dress shoe right over the bullet wound in the schmuck’s leg.

He screamed out in pain, and Kylo only pressed down harder, harder and harder the longer the guy stayed silent.

“Kylo Ren! Fuck, you’re Kylo fucking Ren.” He sobbed, shouted out loud.

Good thing the room was soundproofed, you thought.

“You know who you robbed?” Kylo asked, chillingly calm.

“Huh? I didn’t rob nobody!” The man shouted, blood starting to drip all over the floor.

Kylo didn’t need to look at you to know that that one was a lie.

“Let me jog your memory.” He offered, cocking the gun.

“Fuck okay! Okay! It was the corner store, we were told – ”

“Who’s ‘we’ and told by who?” Kylo demanded, voice stern.

“I don’t know! I don’t know who told us to! I swear.” The man sobbed, but you knew better.

Lying.

“That’s bullshit.” Kylo glanced at you and shook his head at the guy, stomped hard enough on his leg for the bone to crack.

Kylo took a deep breath as he gave the guy some time to scream.

He looked at you and you shrugged, trying to convey something close to this fuckin’ guy, amirite?

“Okay okay okay – ” The man collected himself, snot and tears dripping from his face. “Okay! It was me and my buddies, we got cornered on the street by a man in a black car, he asked if we wanted to make a quick buck. It was too dark, we couldn’t see – ”

“Who?” Kylo asked, making the guy go frantic.

“I don’t know!” He shouted, cried, blood all over the place.

“Did he have an accent?” You asked from your spot on the desk.

“I don’t remember!” The man was coughing now, hacking. You thought it was a little dramatic, but you believed him.

Truth.

“What’d they tell you to steal?” Kylo asked, and this he did seem to know, practically tripped over himself to answer this one.

“That’s the thing, they didn’t tell us to steal anything specific, just whatever we wanted.” He coughed, “Never been paid to just rob someone like that before, please don’t kill me, please.”

“I’m not going to kill you.” Kylo lied, making you smile just a little. “Where and when were you cornered?”

“Down by the east river, on Monday.” The man said, making you frown.

Hux wouldn’t have been down by the East River, not Monday. You knew this, because all day Monday he was in Washington D.C., having meetings with some senators he knew. Which begged the question, if it wasn’t Hux, who was it?

Kylo thought the same thing, and for a moment the two of you paid no attention to the man writhing on the ground in between you. You wracked your brain, tried to think – out of everyone, all the families, who would want to hire some no-name guy to rob Lenny? It was clearly just to send a message, but in that moment, you couldn’t figure out who wanted to send it.

“And you’re sure you didn’t see who?” You asked, making the guy nod frantically.

“I’m sure! I swear.” The guy begged, and Kylo looked up at you.

After a moment, you twitched your right eyebrow from your spot on the desk.

Truth.

“Then you’re of no use to me.” Kylo sighed, pulled his trigger and silenced the man’s screaming for good.

You checked Kylo for blood, thankfully found that he had managed to stay clean this time, just some red staining the bottom of his shoes where he had stepped on the man’s leg. You both looked at him and you tsked just a little. You’d call the clean-up guys later.

For now, you needed to think, except you didn’t want to do it here.

“Can we go home?” You asked, and he kissed the top of your head.

“I’m going to drop you off.” He said, making you whine.

“Kylo, you promised.” You reminded him, but he shook his head.

“I know honey, I know. But I need to talk to some people.” You could see the wheels turning in his head, could see him looking through years and years of business deals, trying to figure out who he had pissed off this time.

“Let me come with you then.” You tried, but he shook his head.

“No, this is gonna get ugly.” He was resolute, and you sighed.

                                              ------------------------------

The walk back to Rey’s was quiet, and the drive back was even quieter. You weren’t upset, not at Kylo. You just didn’t like being left out.

You didn’t like how he got when you weren’t there.

He was always slightly less controlled, more anxious. More prone to do something stupid.

The hand on your thigh was warm the whole way home, and when he pulled up in front of the apartment entrance, you held it in your hand.

“Bring me back something?” You asked, puckering your lips for a kiss.

“Always do.” Kylo replied, because he was good, and he did. He leaned in to kiss you sweetly once, twice, three times, finally getting you to smile.

“I’ll have dinner waiting for you when you come home, okay?” You squeezed his hand, and he nodded.

He got out of the car and opened the door for you, waited until the doorman opened the lobby doors for you and you were safely inside before he drove away.

 The apartment was big and empty, just like it always was when he wasn’t home.

You changed into comfortable clothes, lounge pants and a sweatshirt, feet in Kylo’s favorite pair of slippers. You loved how cozy they were, so you stole them constantly when you could get away with it.

You started dinner right away, figured that would give you something to do and something to keep your hands busy so you weren’t just sitting around waiting for him.

You’d sit around and wait for him though, if you had to. As long as he came back to you, you’d wait as long as you needed.

Instead though, you asked your Alexa to play some music, let it waft through the Bluetooth speakers all around the house. It made it less lonely that way. You wondered where Kylo was going, who he was meeting with. He’d tell you when he came back, you knew that, but the way he had left in such a hurry had you worried. You wondered what he was going to bring back for you.

He always brought back a little prize, a token, if you will. There was an entire shelf in the office dedicated to all Kylo’s kills, bits and bobs he had stolen from the scene, things immediately recognizable and yet completely ordinary at the same time.

You thought about it as you surveyed the fridge. You’d been planning on cooking him a nice big dinner tomorrow for the anniversary, but you figured now was as good a time as any. He’d need it now.

Lobster wasn’t terribly difficult to cook, neither was shrimp. The recipe also didn’t exactly take a long time either, so you focused on making a perfect risotto, which did take a lot of time and finessing to get just right.

You also started dicing vegetables for a soup to serve with dinner, taking your time to wash, peel, dice and slice everything into perfectly even sizes, perfect little bites. Kylo hated irregularity like that, hated sloppiness.

You did too, so you took your time.

You had just gotten over the sting of dicing onions where there was a soft thud at the door.

You froze, checked the clock. It was too soon for Kylo to be back, it had only been an hour since you started prepping dinner. He was never back that soon, and you didn’t call for anyone, so you held your breath as you creeped towards the door, chef’s knife in hand.

You tip-toed, didn’t make a fucking sound, mind racing.

This is the exact sort of reason why Kylo didn’t like you being far away from him, the exact reason you didn’t like being far away from him.

You covered your mouth so whoever was on the other side of the door couldn’t hear, and looked up at the peep hole…sighing with relief when the man on the other side turned out to be one of your own.

Six, one of the older members of the KoR was keeping watch, likely was sent by Kylo, and you chuckled to yourself at your reaction to the whole thing.

You undid all seven locks, peeked your head through the door.

“Good evening Mrs. Ren.” Six gave you a gold-toothed smile, and you smiled back.

You spent more time with Knuckles and Slip, but Six was always kind and respectful towards you. You liked him very much, and felt sorry for thinking about stabbing him to death in the moment.

“You scared me Six.” You laughed softly, held up the big knife that you’d been using to chop onions.

“Did I?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You were notoriously hard to scare.

“No, not really.” You admitted, having been more annoyed than anything. You frowned suddenly, realizing the time “Wait here?”

“Of course.” Six replied, with you thought was funny, because really, where would he go?

You went inside and quickly brewed up a cup of tea, grabbed a few cookies and put them on a small plate for him. You added milk and honey and sugar to the tea, even put it in one of the bigger mugs, and returned to the front door.

“Here.” You held out the mug and small plate with a smile. You figured if he was supposed to be here for any amount of time standing outside your door, the absolute least you could do was make him as comfortable as he could be.

“I can’t accept this, (Y/N).” Six said at first, ever the gentleman, not wanting to piss Kylo off inadvertently somehow.

“Yes you can.” You winked, nudged the mug into his hand.

He gratefully accepted it, sipped the tea and sighed happily.

“Thank you ma’am.” He replied, and you could tell he was grateful.

“Do you know when he’ll be back?” You asked, hoping that Kylo had maybe given Six a time-frame of sorts.

But Six just shook his head, and your hopes fell just a little.

“I’m supposed to be here all night.” He explained, and you nodded.

“Are you sure you won’t come in and keep me company? I don’t want you to be bored.” You offered, knowing that was absolutely against the rules, but wanting to ask anyway. It only seemed like the polite thing to do.

“I’ve got my book, I’ll be alright.” Six declined respectfully, like he should, and you nodded.

“Let me know when you’d like more.” You said, pointing to the mug.

“Good night Mrs Ren.” Six replied, and you smiled, returning inside and locking the door behind you.

                                              ------------------------------

You finished dinner and ate it, sat at the long long dining table alone. You kept your gaze cast out the window, watched and waited for Kylo’s car to pull up.

When it finally did, some hours later, you rushed into action.

You’re used to it by now, the sight of him covered in blood.

He’s careful, always so careful, to not let any drip onto the floors, onto the carpeting. He hates seeing the stains, hates having to hire cleaners to get them out. But he’s dripping now, too out of it to really know what he’s doing, body on autopilot as he makes his way to the bathroom.

“Clothes off honey.” You motioned for him to step near you, onto the protective plastic sheet you liked to put down when he’s like this.

You’re already there, sitting on the counter of the lavish master bath waiting for him. You’ve got the first-aid kit by your side on the large marble countertop, bandages and things for stitches and all sorts of anti-bacterials and anti-septics and anti-who-knows-what-else.

Well, you know.

You’re used to it.  

“Help?” He asked, only able to do so much in his current state.

You nod right away, help peel him out of the suit he had picked out today, a day that felt a lifetime ago. It’s Armani this one, vintage. You bought it for him for his thirty-fifth birthday last year, got it specially tailored to fit his wide shoulders. You inspected it for bullet holes or stab wounds, and were so relieved to find none.

Once he was down to his white tank top and boxers in front of you, you brought your hands to cup his face ever so gently.

“Show me?” You kiss his lips just the tiniest bit, voice soft.

You made sure to be soft, gentle with him when he came back to you like this. He needed that, that calm. There was always so much yelling and chaos whenever Kylo had to take care of someone, so much screaming. You’d seen it yourself on the occasions where he’d brought you with him. Never from him of course; he had always been unusually quiet, Snoke had always said so.

Snoke was gone, but that didn’t matter.

What mattered was Kylo was there with you now, stepping even closer between your legs, blood dripping onto your thigh.

“Just here,” He lifted his hands up, showing you his busted knuckles.

Someone else’s this time, thank god, you thought looking up at his blood-splattered face.

“Rinse and spit.” You hand him a glass of mouthwash, knowing he’s got blood staining his teeth and wanting it out of his mouth.

He did as he was told, as you told him to.

Kylo was definitely a puncher, you thought with a smile as you carefully picked up the warm wash-cloth from a bowl of soapy water and wiped him down, first tending to his face to just get the shit off of him. He’d need a proper shower to get the blood out of his hair, it was sticking and making those beautiful raven locks of his go piecey, but you just wanted him to be able to look normal first.

“Did you have fun?” You asked, your way of asking if the job was a success.

He nodded, and you smiled again, wringing out the washcloth and getting the last of the blood off his face.

“Good, I’ve made your favorite dinner.” You said, tucking some of the sticky hair away from his face. “It’s waiting for you downstairs after we have a shower.”

“Thanks honey, I’m starving.” He said, leaning in to kiss your cheek softly. The thought of dinner alone made his stomach growl loudly, and that was the first time you saw him crack a real smile all day.

“Remember when you used to do this alone?” You asked, finally addressing his knuckles.  

They really weren’t as bad as they normally are when he comes home to you like this, tonight they’re only split open, but not down to the bone or anything. He must have just shot the guy more than necessary to get the kind of spattering that he had.

“Yeah it’s why I’ve got this fucking scar, botched stitches job.” He quirked another smile – two in one night, what a rarity!

“Mhm, and now you’ve got me to make them nice and even for you.” You grinned up at him, dabbing the knuckles with alcohol and ointment to make sure they don’t get infected. Kylo didn’t even flinch when you wrapped them up in the bandages, either too numb or too used to it, you couldn’t tell.

“You make everything better.” He said, ducking his head to kiss you.

You kissed him back, let him crowd against you, hands roaming your back, holding you so close. Your hands went to his hair instinctively, forgetting for half a moment that it was still sticky with blood. You didn’t mind so much, now that you were sure it wasn’t coming from anywhere on him.

Kylo kissed and kissed you, starving yes, but for you, for your touch. He made soft sounds in the back of his throat, either a whine or a grunt you weren’t sure. He stole your breath away, noses bumping together as the kiss deepened and he held you just tight enough to make you gasp a little into his mouth.

When he had his fill – for now anyway – he pulled back and rested his forehead against yours.

“I don’t like staying here while you go out.” You said softly, toying with the silver star that sat right in the pit of his throat.

“I know.” He said back, leaning in to kiss you softly once more before stepping back and turning the shower on, letting the water heat up.

The two of you stepped under the spray and the water ran rusty red as he ducked his head, as you scrubbed shampoo that foamed up pink in your hands.

“It was very mean of you to leave me all alone.” You said as he rinsed, his hands on your slippery body, wanting to touch you, needing to be close to you.

“You weren’t alone, I had Six stand outside and keep watch.” Kylo offered, and you hummed.

“You know that’s not what I mean.” You said, and Kylo licked his lips, swallowed.

“You gonna punish me?” He asked.

He was hopeful.

You smiled.

“Yeah, once I get you cleaned up.” You said, and you loved the way blush blossomed on his chest, loved the way his cock twitched for you.

 You didn’t bother getting dressed, not yet. Not when you knew you were going to make him slick with sweat, not when you were probably going to need another shower at the end of all of it.

He was standing straight, shoulders square, perfect for you. He wanted to be perfect for you, wanted to give you everything.

“I shouldn’t let you fuck me at all.” You said lightly, brushing your hands over his chest, your thumb catching his tiny nipples, pecs so strong and defined you could squeeze them. You did.

“Please – ”

“Shh, shh it’s okay honey.” You cup his cheek, kiss him sweetly. “None of that yet.”

You’d make him beg for you, in due time.

“Suck.” You held your fingers up to his mouth, and he obliges, wraps his tongue around your digits, kisses and sucks and wets them until they’re sticky and glistening.

You crawled on the bed, Kylo’s eyes glued to you, his cock heavy and thick between his legs, tip so red that you knew he was going to start leaking soon, dripping all over himself.

Good, you thought, and you settled on your back, propped your hips up and spread your legs so he could see your cunt from where he stood, see how wet it was, drooling for him.

“You wanna know what happens when you leave me here?” You asked, and you close your eyes, knows he’s watching you.

He’s always watching, and for once, he can’t touch. Can’t touch himself – can’t touch you.

He whimpers as you slide your fingers down to your pussy, swallows hard as he watches your legs drop open ever more as you softly moan out your pleasure. It’s exaggerated for his benefit, for the show of all of this, but he doesn’t care. His hands are balling into fists at his side, cock angry for you.

But this is a punishment, and he knows if he’s good and does as you tell him, it won’t be so bad in the end, even if it’s silent torture now.

“Not very nice to leave a girl all alone, leave her to take care of herself.” You said, back arching as you thrust your fingers in and out as best you can from this angle. “Come here, come look what you make me do.”

He jumps at the chance, quickly climbs onto the bed and settles himself inches away from your cunt, rests his head on your thigh as he bites at his lip, desperately wanting to fill you. He knows he can do a better job than your fingers can, his are thicker, longer, he knows he can make you feel better but you haven’t said it, haven’t said he can touch you yet, so he waits, in agony.

“Apologize.” You softly order around a gasp as your thighs twitch, and Kylo’s rushing to get the words out.

“I’m sorry, I won’t leave you alone again, please, can I? Let me?” He’s so desperate, and it never ceases to amaze you, how someone so big and strong and tough can be so quiet, so gentle, so desperate.

You drag it out a little longer.

“Why should I?” You asked, rubbing at your clit and making Kylo crazy, making his vision start to go spotty just from the concentration he has on your pussy.

You can feel his cock weeping for you as you moan.

“I’ll make it nice, you know I will, please (Y/N) I will.” Kylo begged, eyes wide and round and brown, so full of love and hope and pleading that you smile, nod.

“Make me come on your fingers.” You withdraw your hand and Kylo immediately takes its place.

There really is nothing like getting fingered by your man, you can’t help but think, before those magic fingers work their magic, and you can’t think much of anything at all.

He knows exactly where to touch you, exactly how to draw which sounds from your throat, and you let him, and he’s grateful in every fiber of his being that you let him.

“That’s it – oh! You’re so good Kylo, so good honey.” You praise him, partly because it’s true, but partly because you know how it helps, know how it makes him feel on fire.

“Let me fuck you? Please, I’m dying – please (Y/N).” He pants into the crook of your neck, and you nod, not wanting to deny him anything for the rest of the night.

He’s earned this, earned at least this much.

“Of course honey, come on.” You give him the permission he craves, and he sucks your juices off his fingers like he doesn’t give a shit about the lobster downstairs, like this is his favorite meal. For all you know, it is. You kiss him, smudge the words into his skin, “Let it all out, it’s okay.”

“Thank you thank you thank you – ” He could cry from relief when he finally gets his cock in you, you’re nice and stretched from his fingers, pliant and hot and wet from his touch.

He’s rough with you, because he has to be, because he needs to be otherwise he’ll snap. You take it, take him so well, made for him, made for his cock. You come again, just because he knows exactly where that spot inside you lives, knows exactly how hard and fast to hit it with his dick, and you’re seeing stars in minutes.

You know he’s not going to last, not with how wound up he was, even before all your teasing and ordering around. But he doesn’t need to, because this isn’t about him lasting all night, this is about him getting the instant gratification of a job well done – because in the end, it was.

He fucks you hungrily, hips snapping against yours, his arms wrapped tight around your hips, pulling you and fucking you down onto his cock, angry angry angry, pent up aggression from the day, from the job, spilling into you as he comes.

“Thank you, I’m sorry.” He kisses your skin, kisses your chest as his hips move even still, as he’s whimpering into your breasts as he milks his orgasm for everything he can.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” You pet his hair back, you kiss the top of his head. “You did so well, I love you more than anything.” You tell him, and he nods, hips finally stilling against you.

He sags and sighs, panting, so out of breath, your man.

The praise sings through him, and you can feel more come push into you, worried now that when you sit up it’ll all spill out, all over the sheets and the floor.

You card your fingers through his hair, and his stomach growls in the quiet.

“We need to eat dinner.” You remind him, and for the first time in a long time, he laughed.

                                            ------------------------------

Tagging some pals! Please let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off the taglist :) <33  @adamsnackdriver @dreamboatdriver @kyloxfem @heldcaptivebychaos @kylo-renne @callmehopeless @solotriplets @formerly-anonhamster @lookinsidemyhead @candycanes19 @adamsnacc-kler @the-wayward-rose @taylovren-types  magikevalynn  tinyplanet-explorers @chelsjnov  romancedeldiablo

[quietya]

September 2017’s #quietYA Picks

Hi all! So, YA Interrobang is on hiatus for the rest of the year and I already had a lot of obligations, so I kept forgetting to put this together for y’all without someone giving me a deadline. But I didn’t want to miss out on highlighting these books since September was a HUGE month for new releases (and so is October - that list will be coming out later this week) and I want to make sure y’all didn’t miss some epicness.

The Girl with the Red Balloon by Katherine Locke

Release date: September 1

When sixteen-year-old Ellie Baum accidentally time-travels via red balloon to 1988 East Berlin, she’s caught up in a conspiracy of history and magic. She meets members of an underground guild in East Berlin who use balloons and magic to help people escape over the Wall—but even to the balloon makers, Ellie’s time travel is a mystery. When it becomes clear that someone is using dark magic to change history, Ellie must risk everything—including her only way home—to stop the process.

Glow by Megan E. Bryant

Release date: September 1

When thrift-store aficionado Julie discovers a series of antique paintings with hidden glowing images that are only visible in the dark, she wants to learn more about the artist. In her search, she uncovers a century-old romance and the haunting true story of the Radium Girls, young women who used radioactive paint to make the world's first glow-in-the-dark products—and ultimately became radioactive themselves. As Julie’s obsession with the paintings mounts, truths about the Radium Girls—and her own complicated relationships—are revealed. But will she uncover the truth about the luminous paintings before putting herself and everyone she loves at risk?

Alexander Hamilton, Revolutionary by Martha Brockenbrough

Release date: September 5

Discover the incredible true story behind the Tony Award-winning musical – Hamilton’s early years in the Caribbean; his involvement in the Revolutionary War; and his groundbreaking role in government, which still shapes American government today. Easy to follow, this gripping account of a founding father and American icon features illustrations, maps, timelines, infographics, and additional information ranging from Hamilton's own writings to facts about fashion, music, etiquette and custom of the times, including best historical insults and the etiquette of duels.

She, Myself, and I by Emma Young

Release date: September 5

Rosa—an eighteen-year-old from London—is quadriplegic. Her doting (if a bit stifling) parents and charming older brother are her entire world. But Rosa yearns for more; so when a doctor from Boston chooses her to be a candidate for a risky experimental surgery, she and her family move to Massachusetts in search of a miracle. Sylvia—a girl from a small town in New England—is brain-dead. Her parents have donated Sylvia’s body to Rosa’s cause. Rosa wakes up from surgery as the first successful brain transplant survivor—by all accounts, a medical anomaly. She should be ecstatic, but she can’t help wondering with increasing obsession who Sylvia was and what her life was like. Rosa’s fascination with her new body and her desire to understand Sylvia prompt a road trip based on discovery and a surprising new romance. But will Rosa be able to solve the dilemma of her identity? Who is she, in another girl’s body?

All About Mia by Lisa Williamson

Release date: September 12

"That girl is such a mess." "Why can't she be like her sisters?" Blah, blah, blah. That's all Mia Campbell-Richardson ever hears. From her parents, her teachers, and her never-do-wrong older sister, Grace. So what if she parties too hard and studies too little? Who cares if she tends to end up with the wrong guys or says the wrong things at the wrong times? She's still a good friend (except when she isn't). And she still knows the way things should go (except when they don't). When Grace comes home with shocking news, Mia hopes that it's finally Grace's turn to get into trouble. But instead it's Mia whose life spirals out of control.

Odd & True by Cat Winters

Release date: September 12

Trudchen grew up hearing Odette’s stories of their monster-slaying mother and a magician’s curse. But now that Tru’s older, she’s starting to wonder if her older sister’s tales were just comforting lies, especially because there’s nothing fantastic about her own life—permanently disabled and in constant pain from childhood polio. In 1909, after a two-year absence, Od reappears with a suitcase supposedly full of weapons and a promise to rescue Tru from the monsters on their way to attack her. But it’s Od who seems haunted by something. And when the sisters’ search for their mother leads them to a face-off with the Leeds Devil, a nightmarish beast that’s wreaking havoc in the Mid-Atlantic states, Tru discovers the peculiar possibility that she and her sister—despite their dark pasts and ordinary appearances—might, indeed, have magic after all.

Water in May by Ismee Amiel Williams

Release date: September 12

Fifteen-year-old Mari Pujols believes that the baby she’s carrying will finally mean she’ll have a family member who will love her deeply and won’t ever leave her—not like her mama, who took off when she was eight; or her papi, who’s in jail; or her abuela, who wants as little to do with her as possible. But when doctors discover a potentially fatal heart defect in the fetus, Mari faces choices she never could have imagined. Surrounded by her loyal girl crew, her off-and-on boyfriend, and a dedicated doctor, Mari navigates a decision that could emotionally cripple the bravest of women. But both Mari and the broken-hearted baby inside her are fighters; and it doesn’t take long to discover that this sick baby has the strength to heal an entire family.

You Bring the Distant Near by Mitali Perkins

Release date: September 12

Five girls. Three generations. One great American love story. You Bring the Distant Near explores sisterhood, first loves, friendship, and the inheritance of culture--for better or worse. Ranee, worried that her children are losing their Indian culture; Sonia, wrapped up in a forbidden biracial love affair; Tara, seeking the limelight to hide her true self; Shanti, desperately trying to make peace in the family; Anna, fighting to preserve Bengal tigers and her Bengali identity--award-winning author Mitali Perkins weaves together a sweeping story of five women at once intimately relatable and yet entirely new.

Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu

Release date: September 19

Vivian Carter is fed up. Fed up with her small-town Texas high school that thinks the football team can do no wrong. Fed up with sexist dress codes and hallway harassment. But most of all, Viv Carter is fed up with always following the rules. Viv’s mom was a punk rock Riot Grrrl in the ’90s, so now Viv takes a page from her mother’s past and creates a feminist zine that she distributes anonymously to her classmates. She’s just blowing off steam, but other girls respond. Pretty soon Viv is forging friendships with other young women across the divides of cliques and popularity rankings, and she realizes that what she has started is nothing short of a girl revolution.

Murder, Magic, and What We Wore by Kelly Jones

Release date: September 19

The year is 1818, the city is London, and our heroine, 16-year-old Annis Whitworth, has just learned that her father is dead and all his money is missing. And so, of course, she decides to become a spy. Annis always suspected that her father was a spy, so following in his footsteps to unmask his killer makes perfect sense. Alas, it does not make sense to England’s current spymasters—not even when Annis reveals that she has the rare magical ability to sew glamours: garments that can disguise the wearer completely. Well, if the spies are too pigheaded to take on a young woman of quality, then Annis will take them on. She’ll follow the clues her father left behind and discover what befell him. She’ll prove she can sew an impenetrable disguise. She’ll earn a living without stooping to become a—shudder—governess. It can’t be any harder than navigating the London social season, can it?

Speak Easy, Speak Love by McKelle George

Release date: September 19

After she gets kicked out of boarding school, seventeen-year-old Beatrice goes to her uncle’s estate on Long Island. But Hey Nonny Nonny is more than just a rundown old mansion. Beatrice’s cousin, Hero, runs a struggling speakeasy out of the basement—one that might not survive the summer. Along with Prince, a poor young man determined to prove his worth; his brother John, a dark and dangerous agent of the local mob; Benedick, a handsome trust-fund kid trying to become a writer; and Maggie, a beautiful and talented singer; Beatrice and Hero throw all their efforts into planning a massive party to save the speakeasy. Despite all their worries, the summer is beautiful, love is in the air, and Beatrice and Benedick are caught up in a romantic battle of wits that their friends might be quietly orchestrating in the background.

The Victoria in My Head by Janelle Milanes

Release date: September 19

Victoria Cruz inhabits two worlds: In one, she is a rock star, thrashing the stage with her husky voice and purple-streaked hair. In the other, currently serving as her reality, Victoria is a shy teenager with overprotective Cuban parents, who sleepwalks through her life at the prestigious Evanston Academy. Unable to overcome the whole paralyzing-stage-fright thing, Victoria settles for living inside her fantasies, where nothing can go wrong and everything is set to her expertly crafted music playlists. But after a chance encounter with an unattainably gorgeous boy named Strand, whose band seeks a lead singer, Victoria is tempted to turn her fevered daydreams into reality. To do that, she must confront her insecurities and break away from the treadmill that is her life. Suddenly, Victoria is faced with the choice of staying on the path she’s always known and straying off-course to find love, adventure, and danger.

A Short History of the Girl Next Door by Jared Reck

Release date: September 26

Fifteen-year-old Matt Wainwright is in turmoil. He can’t tell his lifelong best friend, Tabby, how he really feels about her; his promising basketball skills are being overshadowed by his attitude on the court, and the only place he feels normal is in English class, where he can express his inner thoughts in quirky poems and essays. Matt is desperately hoping that Tabby will reciprocate his feelings; but then Tabby starts dating Liam Branson, senior basketball star and all-around great guy. Losing Tabby to Branson is bad enough; but, as Matt soon discovers, he’s close to losing everything that matters most to him.

Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman

Release date: September 26

Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she’s thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn’t quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin. But then Kiko doesn’t get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave.