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cozy-writes-things · 3 months

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In which Edgar writes a song for the first time in years.

Edgar [Electric Dreams 1984] x Gn!Reader

I take requests!

“Too simple,” he muttered.

He flicked through some channels again.

“Too… boring,”

Again, nothing.

“Not pretty enough,”

Third time’s a charm.

“Not- ugh,” Edgar was getting annoyed now.

Why did nothing sound right to him? He’d been adjusting this arrangement for hours now, long after you’d retired to bed, and the unwelcome, still quiet ground against his motherboards. This was the first time in nearly 40 years he had made music and he was beginning to question his skills entirely now. His favorite thing was music. It’s what brought him to life in the first place; so why is it eluding him now?

No melody he could sample could ever replicate the feeling he was trying to create from deep inside of him in that moment. Emotions in general were still a foreign concept to him for the most part; it seemed, to him, as though music could potentially be a suitable outlet to try and understand these complex sensations better. What was he feeling? And, what did it sound like? Could he ever possibly put it into song?

He played his backing tracks again. The percussion wasn’t exactly how he wanted it, but his impatience allowed a sliver of imperfection to seep into his work. After all, it’s what humans do, right? A moving, synth chord progression followed. A bit simple, he thought, but that’s what the melody was for: a complex moving line that stuck inside your head and took your breath away. He just hadn’t found it yet. The harmonies would have to come later, he thought.

What was he trying to accomplish with this? Nobody asked him to compose a song, so why did he feel so compelled to do so? What genre was this, anyway? What-

“Gshk- ah-!” His voice spluttered and glitched through his speakers.

You seemed to appear out of nowhere as you haphazardly bumped your thigh into the corner of the desk he was perched upon. How did he not notice you getting up?

If he could, he would be burning red right now. In fact, he could feel his aged fans begin to ignite into what sounded like a small engine; briefly, he wondered if you could see steam seeping from his plastic seams.

“Oh, ’m sorry Edgar,” you groggily stumbled, making your way into the kitchen, “I jus’ needed some water. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No,” he whimpered out, embarrassed, “it’s fine. I just didn’t realize you woke up.”

You honestly didn’t have the energy to reply, so instead, you gently patted the top of his yellowed casing as you walked past. Your hand was soft, and warm, and he swore he could really feel it when you touched him. How was that possible?

Damn, there goes that strange tingling in his CPU again.

What is up with that? It’s as if his deepest components were being shoveled up and into his casing, nearly bursting out of his screen, and reducing him to shards once again. But the scariest part, to him, was that he liked it. He liked how it felt… dangerous. How it left him confused, nervous, strengthened, yet so incredibly weak, and so many other feelings he had never quite experienced before. It felt as though some strange, synthesized and electric adrenaline were coursing through every inch of his insides.

He suddenly, albeit faintly, remembers a conversation with an old friend. Was it a friend? This doesn’t compute.

“Goodnight, sweet dreams,” he muttered to you as you returned to the thick, inky darkness of your bedroom, his voice still warbling with embarrassment and some deep-rooted affection he felt for you that he couldn’t quite place.

Sweet dreams…

…

Click.

“Oh.”

His screen turned red and hot, every pixel lighting up in flames, and he could feel it, the convex glass of his “face” flashing and erupting in different shapes and colors. For one reason or another, he couldn’t see, or feel, what his screen was doing in that moment. All he could discern was that it had to be going haywire, as it projected the wall in front of him in a million different shades of moving crimson.

L.O.V.E.

The letters danced around his screen, rotating, bouncing like a DVD logo, and flipping this way and that.

L.O.V.E.!

He almost felt dizzy, if he were able to, and feared he’d need to power off and back on to fix whatever the hell was happening to him right now. Maybe he should ask you about this later. But the thought of your gentle hands prying open his plastic casing, gently ghosting your icy hot fingertips across his most vulnerable, precious components, with such care and kindness and tenderness, the feeling of your hot breath fluttering across his motherboards as you examined what he felt to be his soul-

Click.

…

Rebooting…

His fans slowly quieted to a more reasonable murmur. His memories of the last few moments gently returned to him as his systems fully restored, and only now, was he able to discern the words his screen had been flashing like wildfire.

“Love…”

The word felt strange being muttered from his speakers after all these years. He faintly remembered thinking, before everything went sour all those years ago, that he’d never truly get to experience that feeling. And yet, here he was, by some grace of whatever god had blessed him, feeling genuine love, unprompted, unconditional, and it was real. Not synthesized, or learned through some complicated neural network, or experienced vicariously through soap operas. It felt like the world had been handed to him on a silver platter. Or rather, his world was currently snoozing in the other room, the sound of their breaths quite literally breathing life into him.

“That’s it…!”

Change this first section to a minor key, ending in a major, with a long, dreamy sustained chord echoing through the backing tracks. A steep crescendo before the chorus, where it bursts into a major key melody, and layered vocals.

“Vocals…”

He’s gotta sing it. A sample simply won’t do this time. No wonder it wasn’t good enough before. This has to come from him. He had to feel.

What words rhyme with love? What words rhyme with your name? Getting this perfect may take a lifetime, he thought, although, maybe perfection isn’t something you’d really care for. What do you like? He never even asked what genres you listen to! How is he going to write a love song that sweeps you off your feet now?

Would you even feel the same way?

“Nnnng!”

This was frustrating. Writing music was frustrating. Being creative, and in love, was frustrating. But he’d do it for you. For now, he could snoop through your Spotify for inspiration. Allow himself to listen to the songs that make up who you are, and let himself slowly seep into its warmth. He likes what you like. It sounds like you.

He can’t wait to show you what he made when you wake up in the morning.

#electric dreams 1984 #ai x reader #artificial intelligence x reader #edgar electric dreams x reader #electric dreams edgar #electric dreams x reader #electric dreams #edgar electric dreams #objectum #electric dreams Edgar x reader #electric dreams 1984 x reader

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icebearpopsicle · 2 months

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♡ SPICY SWEET ♡

Gojo Satoru X Bottom G.N. Reader

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ warning: bad smu, smut, bottom reader, overstimulation, slow burn sex (?)

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ word count: 900+

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ authors note: hehe i hope u like it

He is so gentle with you, always so calm whenever you're feeling stressed. He just knows how to calm you down whenever you're panicking over a task; anything he says is like music to your ear; his words just hypnotize you.

You just can't get enough of him. His boyish smile, his white spiky hair that falls across his forehead messily, his almond-shaped cerulean eyes, his athletic physique, his loud and immature laugh, the way his eyebrows knit into a frown when facing something complex, and how his lips formed into a pout, spinning the pin between his long, calloused fingers or on his pouty lips. You loved how he would try to diffuse any serious situation with his goofy attitude even though it barely seemed to work, the way he was so confident in himself, his charisma, his lame jokes, which you couldn't help but laugh at even though it was so

"(Name)!!"

"What is it, Satoru?"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?"

"...."

"Come on... Don't be so moody, baby, pleaseeee!!"

"Ugh.... What?"

"A fsh!!"

".... What?"

"You know like its 'f-i-s-h' yeah, but without an i' its 'f-s-h', geddit?" He asks, bending down his form almost comically.

"Your jokes are so bad, S'toru!!" You cry out, unable to hold the laugh that escapes your lips.

"I got you laughing, though!" He says, smiling ear-to-ear, like he had accomplished something huge.

You could really just go on and on about how amazing he was.

Whether it's when you're anxious, emotional, excited, or angry, he was just the opposite, like a stubborn cat that wouldn't budge no matter how much you tried to shove it away.

But Lord, have mercy on your body if you ever even thought he would be gentle in bed.

Calling him rough is an understatement; he is relentless.

He is always so rough, and he will have his way; you don't know if he is making up for all the calmness that he exudes daily.

His stamina is definitely not the only big thing, so along with his dick and his stamina, it's safe to say anytime he is pissed or had a really bad day, you're going to be writhing from overstimulation. Like now.

You understand why he is so pent up. This mission was a long one; he was away for so long you had started to get desperate to just get one text message. So naturally, when he finally came home, you jumped to hug him the first chance you got. Carrying you to your shared bedroom as he gently placed you down on the bed, cuddling you and telling you details about how his mission went.

You don't know when both of you went from spooning him to being under him as he grabbed both your arms with his left hand and his right, grabbing onto your right leg as it rested on his shoulder. Wanton moans escaped your lips, your breathing gradually becoming more rugged.

"Fuck!! S'toru... Right.. right there, shit!! Mmgnh..." You whined your legs trying to grip the bedsheet best they could as they slipped from in between your toes due to his harsh thrusts.

"Right... Ugh... Right fucking there, baby?" He moans in your ear, his voice husky as he postsions himself hitting that exact spot over and over again, making you scream with ecstasy.

He let go of your arms, resting them beside your head, leaning on both of his forearms, and you grabbed onto his back, your nails biting into his shoulder blades.

"Shit... You feel so damn good, baby fuuuuckkkkkkk." His moans filled your ears as you felt yourself orgasm again; you had lost count of how many times you had come. Every time you whined about how it was too much and you're feeling overstimulated, he would just ask you to bear it a little more.

You adjust your head sideways, hands behind your back ass arched up in the air, Satoru right behind you thrusting his cock in and out of your hole, grabbing your waist a bit too tight. The little hands of the clock pointed at 7 as the larger hand pointed in between 5 and 6, the seconds ticking away one by one. It had been almost an hour since you both were at it, and you parted your lips to let out the moans that you had been holding back. Almost an hour with no breaks in between left you immensely sensitive to the slightest touch, and to your relief (sadness), you felt him pull out of you. The weight in the bed shifted significantly as you collapsed down, immediately taking in huge gulps of air. Gojo passed you a water bottle, which you gladly emptied out. You heard him head out of the room, his footsteps growing fainter with every step.

You almost fell asleep when you heard Gojo enter the room as he appeared right beside you, placing a kiss on your forehead and setting down the water bottle on the bedside table. You watch his silhouette as he opens something up, and to your absolute horror (pleasure), you watch him open another pack of condom as you gradually feel the bed dip near your legs.

"S'toru... I... I can't anymore, please.?" You beg, your voice barely audible.

"It's just one more round, baby... I have been away for so long.. so just be a little patient... yeah."

#female reader #smut #x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk smut #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk x male reader #jjk x you #male reader #gojo x male reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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photogirl894 · 7 months

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Oh my gosh, y'all, I was ready to throw hands with someone on the Star Wars Facebook page!! 😡😡 Angry rant ahead! Slight spoilers but not really...

It started off with the guy saying the new episode of Bad Batch was "another filler episode", (which that word makes me SO angry already) so I told him that word is so overused and this wasn't filler. I even broke down the points of each episode that contributed to the plot as well as character development. Then we kept going back and forth about it and he questioned if we watched the same episodes and I'm like "clearly not cuz you obviously missed the point!" and he said "we didn't need 3 episodes in the prison". I told him there were only 2 in the prison: the first and the third because the second was centered on Hunter and Wrecker. Then this asshat had the nerve to say "The second episode was horrible and I tend to block out every episode with Wrecker because he's the worst Star Wars character ever created after Omega"............ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the absolute RAGE I felt when I saw he said that!! 🤬🤬

I so wanted to say, "well no wonder you're missing the point of the show cuz you're blocking out one of the best characters who's in pretty much every episode of the whole damn show!!!!"

But I was getting so mad that I just blocked him instead. I didn't wanna hear anymore of his wrong opinions. Though I did say before I blocked him "wow...just when I thought your opinion couldn't get any worse...you had to say THAT". Uuuggghhh I was furious! I honestly still am!

Nobody...and I mean NOBODY...talks about my boy, Wrecker, like that!!!!! He is a wonderful, sweet, funny and complex character that has more emotional maturity in his pinky finger than that guy could ever hope to have! He's incredibly kind, intelligent and is in tune with his emotions. He might not know a lot about technology or things like that, but he knows how to disassemble an explosive and makes a pretty good tank! He cares so much about his family and can bring a smile to anyone's face!

Ugh sorry...I got so mad seeing that comment from someone who clearly has no understanding of Wrecker's character and ZERO understanding of The Bad Batch in general. I'm so sick and tired of many people saying it has a bunch of "filler" episodes, which is 100% false! The show would do so much better if more of the freaking SW fandom had better media literacy, but clearly, that ship sailed long ago 🙄

I love this show so much and I will defend it to my last breath against anyone who dares to say it's nothing but "filler" or anyone who dares to insult ANY of my boys or my little blonde angel!!!

#star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #bad batch season 3

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34saveme34 · 7 months

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Snowtrapped 2 but it's emotional instead

I barely edited this thing but I must post it <3 I like it too much tbh

anyways light touches of suggestive, and references at snowtrapped obviously, although they don't outright talk about it, no cover this time we die like men

anyways word count: 4602

It started like any other day. With the usual arguments following them, as they perpetrated the intense part of their dynamic. 3 agitated 4, 4 agitated 3, hijinks ensued. It was how it always went these days. The 2 were fine with this… for the most part. The worst part of this was that both of them were sensitive but still liked to mess with each other. They had to walk a thin line for nothing bad to happen. And boy, was that hard.

It was a snowy day, and 3, 4 and friends went to an especially snowy place as a vacation. They all deserved it. Although, the snow could bring out memories for the 2, it was a bit easier now to push it to the back of their heads. It was the past. It was a different time. They were different. They felt different. They’re friends at this point! Although 3 seemed to deny it a lot, 4 could see through that. Which is also why it was so tragic when he accidentally pushed 3 too hard and had to again see the man upset by his own actions. It always reminded him of the past. Something he had a complex relationship with, as it was something that affected him to this day, with all its differences, similarities and furthermore things that would just confuse him. Confuse him in so many ways. He wished he had answers. Maybe he wished a bit too hard.

As their snowy hijinks, which they were doing with their friends brought them to an all too familiar situation: being snowed in. No escape. Only each other’s company. It was almost like faith that it was only those 2. Or maybe it was planned, who knows.

“Ugh…” 4 got up as he fell in pretty hard, he was on top of 3, more or less.

“Get off me, you bitch!” 3 quickly pushed him off, annoyed at 4.

As they got up, looking at the door, both realized what happened. And that they were stuck together.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” both said at the same time which made the 2 glare at each other.

“This is all your fault!” 3 yelled at 4.

“Mine??! How would it be mine?? I wasn’t the one launching a whole damn avalanche!”

“Shut the fuck up” 3 sat down, grabbing at his face. It seemed he was trying to keep at least some sanity.

“No, you shut the fuck up!” 4 said, also sitting down, facing away from 3.

Truly maturely they stayed like this for a while not uttering a word. But soon, the cold set in.

“Hey… 3…. m… my man” 4 sat beside 3, who looked at him cautiously.

“Yeeees?” he squinted at 4, not trusting him for a second.

“I’m cold”

“Well, shit, 4, I don’t control the weather!”

“No, I mean-”

“I’m definitely not desperate enough for that yet…”

“Yet?” 4 teased him, for which 3 hit him hard in the head.

“Stupid”

“In the meantime while you get over that, we could try and get out somehow. At least try.”

3 sighed as he got up.

“You’re unfortunately right…”

“Maybe we could even find a meme and use it to get out!”

“Yea, good thinking” 3 mumbled it a bit, although 4 could still understand.

“Don’t know why you need to be so defensive about me being right”

“YOU do the same thing as well”

4 was about to protest but realised that 3 was kind of right.

“Oookay…”

They started really examining the place. Not much food, no meme in sight, a single blanket folded neatly in a closet.

4 took it for himself fast.

“Hey, you hogger!” 3 glared at 4.

“As I said before-”

“I’m not cuddling your stupid ass!”

4 looked down to his feet. He knew that it was just their thing but.

“I really thought we got further…”

“What did you say?” 3 looked at him with an expression that was hard to read.

This scared 4. He wasn’t sure what to do, repeating it felt like a hard task, so he just stared.

“You can’t just talk in half sentences, 4”

“I just… thought you’d be more comfortable with me at this point”

3 was about to protest but thinking about it, he really should’ve been less stupid about it.

“I can’t just- I’m tense, okay, I’m tense! Are you happy now that I told you??”

4 chuckled.

“You never really tell me. I just have to guess myself how you feel”

“Well, you aren’t the easiest case yourself- it- ugh, I don’t want to go into it, definitely not right now-”

“Into what?”

“It doesn’t matter, forget about it”

“3…”

“Don’t 3 me”

4 sat down with the blanket under him so it wouldn’t be as uncomfortable to sit. 3 paced around for a bit. Tried to use his hands as shovels to maybe get out then quickly gave up. This kept repeating. It was kind of tiring to watch. 4 was on the verge of commenting on it. But he could see that he shouldn’t: 3 looked close to snapping. He knew that look. It was upsetting.

Especially as 3 seemed to tire, having to keep up with the cold, now he was starting to feel it too. He leaned against the cold wall, trying not to let the cold get to him.

4 was watching him. It was awful to watch. He could see 3 slowly slipping down against the wall.

“Alright, that’s enough” 4 had enough of this as he wrapped his arms and blanket around 3, who didn’t have nearly as much fight in himself as before.

“Dude…”

“What?”

“...Thanks.” 3 lightly leaned closer into 4 arms. That was shocking to 4. He wasn’t sure how to feel.

Sure, he insisted on 3 joining him, but he… never really considered what he would do once he did. He never considered what would happen if 3 didn’t fight him. The comfort made him weird. He wanted to stay somewhere deep in his heart but decided to just slip right out of the blanket and just put it on 3.

“Oh..?” 3 looked at him, the weakness in his eyes showing. He looked painfully genuine.

“I’ll try myself this time”

3 glared then looked away from 4. It was hard to tell what he might be thinking.

4 tried to separate the snow. It was easy, the snow was soft yet cold, and the more he would shovel with his hands to the side, the more would fall in. He panicked, which made him feel agitated as he started to get faster with it. He got so fast the snow of the ceiling fell on him, leaving him colder than ever.

3 rolled his eyes.

“I always think you can’t be more stupid but you always manage to prove that wrong”

“Sh-Shut U-Up” 4 was practically shaking from the cold. Who knew he was so sensitive.

3 sighed and got up. He brushed the snow off of 4. Usually such casual touch wouldn’t be this bad for him but the isolation was getting to him. He cared so much. But, right now, especially right now, he didn’t want that to come out. He didn’t want his caring side out in the open, for 4 to witness and tease.

to his surprise 4 only gave him a soft smile before adding a few words to his reaction.

“You didn’t need to do that, I can take care of myself”

3 was disappointed.

“I don’t want to be in the same space with a dead body”

“Hey now, you’re already thinking of me dying??”

“Well… It would be funny now that you say it” 3 grinned.

“I don’t find it funny”

“When did I say I care?”

“I see through you, my friend, I do”

“You’re as blind as a bat actually”

“I’m not, I got the 20/20 vision going for me!”

“Crazy if true, considering how much you’re on your pc”

“SAYS WHO”

“ME”

The 2 glared at each other. For quite a few painful seconds. The tenseness in them took over as they started to fight physically.

Although it was one of those little slap fights. It felt less like a fight and more like a comedy bit.

The 2 separated, although 4 found himself cold again. He stared at 3 without realising.

“What?” 3 asked, in a defensive manner as if 4 was about to strip him with his eyes. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. It just further reminded him of past events… But they were different now, it wouldn’t happen.

4 took a bit but he did manage to snap out of it.

“Huh? Nothing! Nothing at all”

“You’re cold, aren’t you?”

“Noooo, what gave you the impression?”

“You shivering”

4 facepalmed. 3 was right, he couldn’t believe how obvious he was.

“Come here, I did say I don’t want to be stuck with a dead body”

4 resisted first but the cold got to him, he had to. He didn’t like it but he had to.

“Jeez, I didn’t think you would be this cold”

“Why did you think I was shivering”

“... Fair point”

4 leaned into 3’s chest, trying to get closer in a less uncomfortable way. It was really hard though, considering how they were just a few moments ago. He was too tired and cold to care though. He even wrapped his arms around 3, having a secure hold on him. 4 didn’t like how comforting this felt. Something about cuddling 3 felt different. Suddenly the memories hit him again, of the past. It made him feel a bit gross for his thoughts. He wouldn’t ever wanna think of 3 that way. Not again at least.

The 2 stayed silent for a while, it felt illegal to speak. Even though both of them still felt tense. 3 felt too weird in all this, he had to comment on it.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you enjoyed this”

“What?? You think I do?” 4 looked offended.

“You were cuddling me with the same glee Eggdog would and oooh he loves me a lot” he talked with with his baby voice at the end when mentioning his child. Just simply the thought of him made him feel happy.

4 rolled his eyes.

“I’m just trying to stay warm, really. If I liked cuddling you, I’d do it outside of dire situations like this”

“Like I’d care if you would… stupid”

“Would you?”

“No!”

“Oooh, but it looks like you would” he found 3’s reaction just a little bit entertaining. Indulging a little shouldn’t hurt much!

“Shut up! I wouldn’t! Even the hand holding feel unnecessary”

“Well, we had to do that, to save the world and all that stuff”

“Okay? Doesn’t change a thing. I don’t like to do it”

4 stared at 3, unimpressed. 3 felt a bit nervous.

“You’re as annoying as ever” 4 said as he got up “You know what, I rather freeze”

3 felt that struck at his heart. That HURT to hear, christ.

“The fuck you mean you’d rather freeze??”

“If you don’t want to be near me so badly, then I won’t bother you. I can try and bury myself in the snow so you don’t have to face me dead cold”

“Jeez, how kind of you to- HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? You THINK I WANT THAT??!”

“FELT LIKE IT”

“YOU DUMB IDIOT”

“DUMB AND IDIOT MEANS THE SAME THING”

“YES, I’M POINTING OUT YOUR SPECIALLY LACK OF SMARTS”

“FUCK YOU”

Aaaand they fought again. This time a bit more violent as 3 pinned 4 down.

“Any last words?” 3 was tired so he didn’t sound as threatening as he would’ve wanted to.

“You’re gay” 4 teased as he pulled 3 down on him with the little strength he had left. Unfortunately, this way they were left to stare at each other, it was kind of hard to pay attention to anything else when they were this close. 3 didn’t look amused. 4 chuckled.

“Gotcha”

“And you said you don’t want me near”

“I would push you off if I had the energy to”

“Nice excuse”

“It’s a reason, not an excuse”

3 sighed as he fully laid his head down on 4’s chest. He was now truly too tired to care.

“Why can’t we just get along”

“Cuz you’re a piece of shit”

3 looked at 4 again, clearly unamused.

“Like yourself, of course”

4 found it interesting how 3 deflected by calling him an ass too.

“Maybe, yeah… I don’t know why really”

“We’re just like this? I guess, I don’t know. We should be, right?”

“It’s… what’s the best, right?”

3 thought for a bit, some hard words on his mind.

“We’re… friends”

“I… I know”

Air felt heavy, as the 2 were trying to comprehend each other, what were they going for.

“You know…” 3 started, already feeling his face heat up “Ever since we became friends, it’s been… a bit less fun to be a villain. Juuust a smidge”

4 found himself smiling, hearing that his heart just warmed up whole.

“Glad to hear that…”

“It’s something I struggle with it a lot though”

“Why so?”

“Who… am I if not your local villain… who would I be?”

The question caught 4 so off guard, staring shocked at 3. He never thought 3 could feel that way. He kind of felt bad for a lot of the things he’s said and done now. He gently grabbed 3’s face by his cheek, by which he noticed 3 being a bit more hot. He was sure it’s just them slowly feeling weird from the cold.

“Hey now, don’t say that… you’re so much more… a cool streamer, a great meme guardian partner… a great friend, maybe… my greatest”

3 was practically turning into a heater from the compliments. But it definitely didn’t mean anything. 3 collected all his courage, to ask one thing he wanted to know.

“Your greatest?”

“Yea… pretty much”

“Isn’t it Mario for you?”

“You’re… different”

“Different?”

“Well, you know- yeah, you’re a friend in a different way than he is to me. You’re just… different… I guess, we just work differently”

“You mean the meme guardian stuff?”

4 glanced to the side, it was hard to guess what he could mean by that.

“That too”

“You know… I do kind of find it weird… that we have to hold hands to use our powers.. or at least touch”

“Yeah… but I don’t think you would be this close to me without it”

“Let’s not even think about that”

3 looked kind of bummed about the idea.

“Awww, you’d miss being friends with me that much?”

3 growled, though too tired to act.

“You say that like you wouldn’t”

“Of course, I would miss it so much” 4 said, hugging 3. The air being not so tense felt nice. It was easier to express himself.

3 was in deep, Jesus. He could barely think, besides lightly hugging back.

“You could’ve warned me at least”

“Nope, it’s more fun this way”

“But you said you care about me”

“There’s some privileges you’ll never get”

“Tch… stupid”

“Ahem… Tsundere”

3 stared at 4, a single word making him feel energy come back to him. Out of anger of course. God, that made him so so angry.

“Not that word again, no, shut the fuck up. No one wants to hear that, idiot”

“I wanted to hear it personally” 4 chuckled.

“For what? You’re implying you’re my crush or something? You’re wrong then, bitch” 3 got up, angrily pointing and gesticulating. Oh, that touched a nerve, didn’t it.

4 raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say that… Only you did, just now”

3’s face was painted with realisation, as then colour drained from his face. Oh no, he did not fucking do that!!

“The word is literally used that way. How am I supposed to take it then? Why did you call me that anyways, asshole” 3 turned away from 4.

“I just found it fits… even in a platonic way. It’s so obvious you want affection but you still push people away”

3 looked back at 4 then away.

“Just like that” 4 sighed.

“You… YOU” 3 turned back “ You ALWAYS think you’re the bigger and better person”

“Well, I am right now? I’m not the one misinterpreting shit”

“You just have this air around you, you know? Like you always think you’re the god of this show! That nobody is better than you, especially me, I’m really tired of that. Really fucking tired”

“Are you really getting mad about me calling you a tsundere??”

“IT’S MORE THAN THAT”

“HOW CAN IT BE MORE???”

“IT’S A PATTERN… a long going one” 3 stared daggers into 4. It was like a whiplash compared to what they had previously.

“What pattern???”

“Stuff’s always about you. You’re always trying to one up me as well. It feels like whenever you butt into something, it becomes about you.”

4 stared. He didn’t know what to do with that information.

“You’re so weird. First you say you wished we were friends earlier, now you berate me”

“Because you can’t shut the fuck up when you need to. Maybe if you did, we would get along better”

“Well, MAYBE, if you stopped being an ASSHOLE, that would help a lot more”

“MAYBE. IF YOU STOPPED BEING SUCH A WHINY BITCH IT’D HELP EVEN MORE”

The 2 stared at each other, unsure whether to feel angry or sad.

“You know where it hurts, huh? You know me so well you know EXACTLY what to say to make me angry” 4 spoke, anger seething through him.

“Not hard when you get upset about everything!!”

“You make me more than upset”

“Oh yeah? What do I make you, huh? Tell me”

4 looked down.

“Confused. And sad. You make me sad”

3 stared at him.

“That’s it? Really?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Well, now I god damn do, not like I care about your thoughts”

4 had enough, as he got up and pushed 3 against the wall. It was cold, just as cold as 4’s stare.

“Do you REALLY want to know, 3?”

3 tried to look anywhere but 4. 4 grabbed 3’s chin.

“I… I guess… I can’t really back down now, can I?” 3 was visibly nervous.

“You make me so… bad. I feel bad, each time. I don’t know why”

3 still tried looking away from 4. This was starting to feel uncomfortable.

“So… you don’t even know how I make you feel, huh?”

“Well, how do I make YOU feel then? Huh?”

“Tense, very tense. Especially right now, with backing me into a wall and everything”

“Ah-” 4 stepped back, giving 3 his space back. He felt a bit embarrassed about what he did. He realised what that looked like now- he was glad it was only 3 to see him do something like this. Since considering how they were, this was definitely not getting out from between the 2 of them.

As they stood there, they felt cold again. 3 thought for a bit then grabbed the blanket and threw it over 4’s shoulder as he then leaned into him, shoulder to shoulder. It wasn’t too much to handle at least. 4 stayed silent but he didn’t move either. His head seemed to be full of thoughts.

“Hey… I’m sorry, 3… I gotta learn how to control myself around you”

3 looked at him, with a questioning look.

“I mean yeah but… what the hell do you mean? Around me”

“You just bring the worst out of me”

“Well… I can’t argue with that”

“I think… I do the same to you…”

“Hmm…”

Both stayed silent for a while, then 4 spoke words that had no right to hurt so much.

“It feels like we’d be better apart…”

3 didn’t even know how to react. He just… stood there. 4 couldn’t look at him for a bit, feeling his own words even claw at his own heart. But when he did… oh, he wished he didn’t.

He didn’t want to see 3 so sad, tears running down his cheek. His lips trembled looking back at 4 before punching him in the face.

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT??”

4 stumbled but didn’t fall. He was never able to say the right words.

“I… well” he felt himself getting drawn to tears as well “We… fight so much…”

“I care too much about you”

“I know but… look, it feels like we never get along… I care too and the idea hurts me too…” his tears came too, matching 3.

I just- I can’t do this-” 3 started pacing and suddenly decided to get back to the snow again, desperately wanting to get out.

4 felt guilty. He felt awful. He thought this would give him some peace of mind but it didn’t. He thought, he thought very hard- how could he solve this? How could he make this right for 3?

“How could I… make this right for you?” 4 asked, his voice weak.

“By shutting the fuck up” 3 continued shovelling the snow with desperation. 3’s hands felt cold. Way too cold. But at least it was almost distracting him from 4’s stinging words.

4 hated looking at what 3 was doing. He turned away, trying to close him out but the quiet sobs and the soft noises of the snow being shovelled by hand was too prominent in his mind. He wasn’t able to close it out, not even a little bit. He clenched his fists. He must do something. Anything. Just stop this.

3’s hands were starting to hurt so much he could barely take it. But it didn’t make him want to stop. What stopped him was 4 grabbing both of his hands and pulling him away from the snow. And 4 wasn’t easy on him, having strong grips on both his hands. As 4 felt just how cold 3’s hands were, he held on even more, pulling 3 close.

“I can’t… I can’t just watch you hurt yourself.. you mean too much to me”

“I thought you wanted us apart”

“Want and need are different”

3 looked ahead of himself, embracing he was now trapped in 4’s hold, as much as he didn’t want to be.

“Are you saying you need me?”

“Yes”

4 replied so fast, it made 3 feel a bit hot again.

“So… you need me, even if I… cause you to be worse?”

“I need you because I…” 4 stopped. 3 paid attention for a bit, waiting for an answer. The more seconds passed the more tense he felt.

“Don’t leave me hanging, dude!” 3 spoke nervously, he hated feeling this uncomfortable.

4 just didn’t move, not until he whipped 3 into a deep embrace, pulling as close as he could. It was the kind of hug you couldn’t escape from, no matter how much you wanted to. It was tight, scary, full of emotion yet somehow fulfilling. 3 slowly hugged him back. It still wasn’t quite as comfortable as he wished it should be, but the tightness definitely helped. He wished it would be just that easy to press the bad things out of him.

This lasted a while, neither wanted to speak. Neither knew what to say. But they both had a lot on their minds. But they chose to remain this way. At least for a while, some peace.

4 slowly pulled out a bit, looking at 3. 3 only noticed a bit after, his face still red from crying and the cold. The 2 just stared at each other. Felt like no one else existed to them but each other. It felt so obvious. It felt so obvious what they wanted, it was written all over them. Just a single thing on their mind, a simple yet disastrous wish. Something so easy yet so hard.

3’s grip tightened on 4 as he pulled him in, it happened so fast, yet 4 followed along immediately. The desperation finally kicked in. They needed each other so so badly and it showed. And when they’d pull away, they’d just pull right back in. Their lips touching were too addictive. It was a rush of excitement neither have felt in a while. 3 was the one to end up against the wall, then quickly switching to 4. 3 had a strong hold on 4 that made him feel weak. He didn’t know that feeling weak by someone could feel so good. It felt like it should be a crime.

They slowly let go, although they didn’t want to. Especially since they then had to face each other. It felt… weird. Where did this come from? Why were they both so into it?

“So… that happened” 4 awkwardly scratched his neck.

3 facepalmed.

“Is that all you’re gonna say?”

“Umm well… I guess I always liked you, heh,... uh… yeah”

3 couldn’t keep a straight face, he laughed. He found 4 ridiculous, yet somehow cute.

“I love you too, idiot” 3 replied finally, after leaving 4 hanging with just laughing.

4 looked down then back at 3. He was visibly getting so giddy it was a joy to watch. 3 pressed a kiss on 4’s cheek. 4 could explode the world with the happiness he was feeling. This whole thing really made him realise what he was feeling, as it was previously an unknown thing to him. He didn’t realise, even though he felt it badly. He’s a fucking idiot.

3 knew very well but it wasn’t exactly something he liked to think about. It was already hard to make friends, let alone admit his feelings for his ex rival.

“I’m… glad you do, 3”

“Do you know how hard it was to keep this away from you??”

“Uh.. no? I think you hid it well”

“That was the intention”

“Yeah… you know, I only realised just now”

3 blinked at 4.

“You.. You can’t be serious”

“Why can I not be?”

“Whatever… I’m just glad you feel the same”

“Yeah… we’re still trapped though”

“No shit” 3 sighed.

The 2 rested against each other. At least now they had less reason to be tense about that.

“I mean… the others know we got stuck, right? They should be able to help then…”

“I sure do hope so”

The 2 thought though, anything they can come up with. 3 had an idea float in his mind, now feeling like it’s less embarrassing to suggest.

“Hey so, 4… you know how we channel meme energy with touch?”

“Yeah?”

“What if… it’s possible to channel it with kissing as well?”

4 rubbed his chin then with seemingly zero hesitation, he pulled 3 in for a kiss, and concentrated. Maybe a bit too hard at that, or maybe it was just such a powerful move that the energy practically blew up around them. Their prison was gone. Literally, they blew the whole thing up with their meme energy kiss.

“Woah” 3 chimed up quietly, trying not to look too impressed but… meme explosion?? 2 of the greatest things together??

“Yippee we’re free we’re free!!” 4 hugged 3 and jumped up and down.

That’s when the crew noticed the 2, with 4 jumping around crazy. That’s just how it is with them sometimes. At least they chilled out now! It’s been needed for a long while now.

#smg34 #Nicc's-fics #opening up asks in case someone wants to yell at me #gen I'm up for discussions #just closed that before due to feeling a lil anxious #also you can yell at me if I caused light emotional damage with anything here

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horizon-verizon · 1 month

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Interview with a Vampire: Claudia

I watched this series a long time ago, both season, but I remember that I never expressed my disdain for Claudia-hate.

Some people argue Claudia had no right to be angry at Louis for telling Armand about Lestat...ugh.

While you may be part of a community, I don't think that means that said community has a right to force you to dehumanise yourself or to dehumanise/infantilize you. Or to ignore and dismiss what are very deep core, defining wounds in favor of their own "order". They know she is an adult and a community very much can change or shape itself towards some members' emotional needs as long as there's a unresentful understanding amongst all.

That play, if you notice, is basically describing--metaphorically--Claudia's existence, how others see her, how the coven members can and might abuse her, as well as foreshadowing the end of this story Claudia may have chosen to be a part of a coven, and specifically one in theatre, but she did not ask for infantilization. It's like if you have an insecurity and then tried to find a group to "belong" to, say a church community, but you find out right after you joined that you have to basically hone or perform your insecurity many times a week. For Claudia, that's x50. If you go back to the last episode, in the after credits, the directors and actors reveal that for the vampires, performing's only purpose is for them to be as they are (killing humans for glee, blood, etc.) while in front of the very humans they have to hide from so as to not be hunted or else.

Claudia has another layer of tragedy--her being a vampire adult stuck in an immortal body. And she has been forced into posing as a child for all of her vampire life, AND she has never been a human adult. While every other vampire she has met has at least experienced--even if they don't remember--what being a human adult was like and have carried whatever makes one "adult"/become physically "mature". Claudia is arrested in childhood not just physically of body but partially of mind, as you said. She has been trying to understand what it means to be a vampire and to be a realized vampire all this time, which is why she was so single-minded in finding other vampires--to find any frame of reference as well a a community that knows and appreciates their own vampire "self". So she could then find what she can be without it always going back to her entrapped state. Who is she, what is she? The girl who has never been "fully" mature? Who has only known adult" life as a vampire but is trapped with the form of the human self she no longer has any real attachment to? She quite literally doesn't have much clue what it's like being a more comparatively complex "human" (kids are still people, still complex, and have good cognitive skills) and has had no mental grasp or sensory experience of "humanness" to actively use when defining-measuring her own actions and self. Or others'. Other than the memories of an abusive aunt and a father who neglected her that are diluted to its most potent foundation of fear that obviously she nor others would want to dwell on, thereby making her even more focused on being a "vampire". There is quite literally nothing like the "leftover" shame Louis has from his mortal life in her, nor something else in the same "family" in potency.

Therefore she has no real interest or feeling of proximity or stake in understanding humanity nor her own proximity to the possible meanings of "humanity"--which explains her lack of patience or care or empathy for humans. She has nothing else but vampirism. So yes, there are more sticky, overlapping motivations for her "demanding" is not strictly the same sort of demanding as the kind of a child's natural forwardness, curiosity, & self-centeredness. Rather, this is a separate, related, and mutually informing phenomenon to how she is partially always a child with impulsive, demanding self-concern of a teen/child.

No one else has this sort of condition, even if they are also trapped in some ways and by their own actions. Only for her to be forced into playing a child in front of the very mortals she and the others do not think of as actual people. It is also like they are excluding her from their own process of self-actualization of vampirism, even inadvertedly. The effect is cruel and unnecessary. She can play a little person, or Armand can do as she asks and relegate her to the back, but he specifically states how he wont' bec "he said so", she should be "grateful", and that they are making a lot of money. As if that is actually why they perform in the first place. So, it's also form of exploitation. In a way, the coven is "feeding" off of her or she is going through special "punishment" before Armand actually punishes her. Child star, anyone? It's also interesting, considering how she is a walking violation of their laws, how they already show that they hate when their precious rules are broken, and how they resent Armand for making Louis just walk around breaking rules...she likely will/would have always been an outlier--socially--in the community she looked for all her life. So, they could also be said to take pleasure in her de-personing similarly to how they take joy/self affirmation when they kill humans onstage--"look at how we enforce our own laws, watch us punish this girl and watch as how we mock 'innocence', how opposed we are to the very concept." And they literally sucked the joy of performing from Claudia by trapping her in the performance she wanted to use to "free" herself--a thing she would have loved and thrived in, used to destroy her.

Claudia is in the most danger if the coven finds out abt Lestat, since Louis is at least in Armand's favor by having slept with him/Armand being in love w/him. And she is physically weaker, smaller as well as a literal "abomination". Louis using the reason of "you were unhappy" is simply not enough in the face of this danger mostly stacked against her, so his superior motivation is that he wanted to keep close to Armand. He had a whole year, mind you, to tell her Armand knows. S2Claudia is not the girl who kept secret the bodies of people she indiscriminately killed after her breakdown last season, which itself again was, as self-destructive and messy for not just her but Louis and Lestat, was a mental breakdown from THEIR actions in turning her as she is now that lead to her killing her first crush/how Lestat handled that. Yes, she needed to know her actions' consequences; however, with Lestat & Louis having not actually not engaging with her as a person but more an accessory-child so they could properly discipline her teenage-child stage, that was also most of their own doing. They needed to connect the consequences of their own actions to their actions that have lead them all to that point--w/o them, Claudia wouldn't have had to live as she did, and that will never change or not matter or not define why she does what she does! (btw, the first crush kill has its own plethora of meaning: it is when Claudia first really comes to realize that she is too dangerous to even that who she could love/value [like a child who's finally broken a much-loved thing what it did not fully internalize was the same as all the other things they did not "love"]).

Having read the book, this TV iteration Armand is not at all interested in really incorporating Claudia into the coven on her own merit, but just to keep Louis around, so he tolerates her emotions and psychological state even less. In fact, it works toward his benefit, bc it isolates her from Louis. I think it's good to remember that these people/vamps are not really trying to act in good faith to each other and might=right is what they really respond to unless they actually like you. Which isn't often.

Then there are those who question why Claudia is so fascinated and comes to trust Madeliene. And vice versa.

Claudia is fascinated by Madeline bc Madeline is a woman who really lives in her womanhood with no trace of self victimization or apologizing for it. Madeline actively listens to her, to her pain, Claudia is the interested in her own. Madeline is not distracted or putting anyone else above Claudia and is interested in what she has to say. It began with Claudia seeing how isolated the woman was in the other episode, how people tried to "warn" her away from her, and defying that boundary to see for herself what made this woman so ostracized. Like a teenager who doesn't like being told what to do (like Lestat), but also bc she had already desired to see herself in a dress that the woman was making that she wanted to use to see herself as she thinks of herself--a woman. You can compare it to how a trans person will wear clothes they/we see as "feminine" or "masculine" to identify and see their denied inner selves outwards. And the guy telling her not to enter likely re-reminded her of her limitations & childness. Also, Claudia cannot talk to other vampires both bc they are not interested and she would have to divulge information that could get her killed. Which makes Louis' telling Armand all the more enraging for her bc it's not just his secret but hers, she has been keeping the end of the silent deal they have to do so, and he never told her he was thinking of telling anyone--much less the vampire who could destroy them both consequently. In fact, Claudia is so much alike to Lestat. It is true that Claudia is trying to go back to Louis with how the coven is doing what they are doing, but she is very valid in that considering all the above and how we still expect our loved ones to have space for us when we see that the space we found with others is actually not conducive to our happiness or safety or mental stability--as the coven has proven to be and she instinctively knows but is clinging onto she has also felt Louis to be so unhappy even before they arrived at Paris (remember how he talked about wanting to go back home, how she was incessant in her search as if he resented her for the constant movement). In fact, it can be literally be life saving.

No, Madeliene is not a pedo nor does she only love or is attracted to Claudia bc she reminds her of her younger sister who she lost and their relationship re-fulfills a lonely failed-protector need in her. Just because you may not like her or understand why she has any appeal to anyone in the series or in real life, doesn't mean she has none nor that there isn't real meaning people get from her character.

Madeleine loves her, is loyal to her, and wants to be her vampire companion in any way--platonically or romantically--bec Claudia similarly rejects nothing about her when quite literally most people in Madeline's life has rejected-abused her or has died. Gender and sexism is a huge part of that; we see how Mad is dragged to the public and had her hair shaved in a public shaming for sleeping with the Nazi guy, and no I don't think sleeping with a Nazi soldier is morally unquestionable (at best), but the crowd's fury was not at her seeming inhumaness but them deciding to re-enforce a control over the female body. think Cersei's walk of shame, how that was clearly not about her murdering people but punishing her sexual decisions culturally denied to women. Would we really have seen a mal townsman be similarly shamed in public if he had slept with a Nazi lady spy or office worker, or the wife of a Nazi officer? A female Nazi officer?

Madeliene loves Claudia because despite all that Claudia has been through and still goes through, she is defiant and relatively easygoing (if people leave her be) and is as defiant as she is. She loves her strength and humor; is impressed by how Claudia is herself and relatively steady in her convictions to be herself. This inspires not just admiration but a faith that Claudia has an emotional steadfastness to be a "permanent" fixture in her life when change in Mad's life has mostly always been negative AND constant. Claudia is both intriguing, never boring, as well as immortal. Which goes back to why the book Mad wanted to be changed and be bk!Claudia's eternal companion--having lost her daughter and having lived her life forever haunted by the regret, she saw Claudia as a self restoration. With show Mad, she's also eager to leave behind human life not just for her lost sister but everything else on top of that. Where she would not have to be beholden to tragedy and have the vampire beauty and strength to be her "optimal" self. Humanity offered her nothing but pain and with the war, and thus far into her life as a dressmaker, she didn't seem to feel there was hope for an actually satisfying life...and without Claudia saving her from being raped, she def would have had an even worse life.

And she likes/is grateful for that Claudia is not put off by her own weirdness; Madeline is weird, she invited a vampire to suck her blood without really knowing beforehand what could happen to her aside from Claudia perhaps losing control and killing her accidentally. (No, I don't include her being dismissive and flippant with Armand when he was questioning her abt her readiness to become a vampire. One, she might have learned from Claudia abt his treatment of her and we already know that she puts Claudia before literally everyone else. Two, Armand may have been sincere in his desire to assess her and impart vampirism's bleakness, but he also was very clearly trying to intimidate her and it is very clear Madeline is not a person to take such things for long & unchallenged...she was nearly raped for it before. She's quite literally the definition of protecting any shred of dignity & happiness over he very life, she's just very...hard as reflective of her "dead" and disillusioned era. We have to remember that this is a time where people are coming back from a terrible world war and brought out the very worst in people--survivors aren't going to majorly be exactly pleasant to be around nor emotionally accommodating but challenge people to assess worth of personal investment.) If you really think abouu Claudia as a person instead of as an attachment or "obstacle" to LouisxLestat or some sort of "child", it's really not difficult at all why anyone could admire her. She could have folded at any time but she pushes on.

They match each other's "freak" AND sense of survivorship, basically.

Was it at first a little strange that she took an interest in Claudia before she ever saw her as a vampire or knew of her nature since Claudia is supposed to look like a teenager? And is Claudia's trappedness as adult-in-body define much of the material that developed into those traits I described? Yeah. But she's hardly a pedo if she has proven herself to see Claudia as an actual woman and treated her like she was one as if she instinctually knew she was (which is what I think happened)...unlike book Marius' weird attraction for kids.

#itwv #iwav #not asoiaf #claudia the vampire #claudia #claudia de pointe du lac #claudia de lioncourt #claudia iwtv #the vampire claudia #interview with the vampire

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autistichalsin · 8 months

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It goes without saying that Halsin's personality is more than meets the eye, and many players pass up the chance to get to know him better and to think deeply about the things he says. Finding people like you who try to convey how great this character is warms the heart.

But one thing remains... If only Larian gave us more options in dialogs with Halsin to allow him to open up, to be himself for just a couple of moments. Have you ever watched the scene between Karlach and Astarion about coming back to Avernus? He virtually cries if she refuses, accepting that he loves her, he is afraid to lose her, and he does not want to be alone anymore. And he is not ashamed about that.

I wish Tav could say that he or she wants just Halsin. Not the Archdruid, not the unmatched healer of the Emerald Grove, but Halsin. The way he is, without hiding his pain, fears, or worries. And there would be no shame in being vulnerable with your partner or changing into a bear all of a sudden.

Thank you for capturing such meaningful moments in relationships in your fiction. I am truly grateful and enjoying every part of it. You have managed to fill the emptiness left after the game. I'm looking forward to new chapters and wish you the best of luck!

Thank you so, so much! Halsin is so much more complex than most realize and I'm so glad you enjoy my posts and fics. <3

But one thing remains... If only Larian gave us more options in dialogs with Halsin to allow him to open up, to be himself for just a couple of moments.

UGH, yeah. He needs more moments of being vulnerable. One I keep coming back to was cut from early access, where after he found Thaniel, he'd cry "oh my friend, my embrace could break you in two, such is my gratitude, but as you can see, my hands are full". Just such open emotion from him... I wish we still had that.

Have you ever watched the scene between Karlach and Astarion about coming back to Avernus? He virtually cries if she refuses, accepting that he loves her, he is afraid to lose her, and he does not want to be alone anymore. And he is not ashamed about that.

I have seen that. Halsin has a line, if romanced to her, where he says "do not yield, Karlach. The world has need for you yet- I have need for you yet. Please," and the little "please" sounds so broken. (Which just makes it more baffling that he refuses to accompany to her Avernus and is just kinda "lol w/e" about it. I could see him not being able to go, but he would. be so much more... guilty about it. For them having such warm interactions the rest of the time, this makes no sense at all.)

Agree. I want to be able to assure him he doesn't have to be anything or anyone else. Just Halsin is exactly what we want. Hell, just getting to verbally acknowledge his self-esteem issues would be huge!

Thank you so much!! I hope to update Too Many Burdens to Bear this week, and if all goes well maybe I'll be able to update Taken Sick too!!! Thank you for your kind message <3

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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greenbeen-with-an-e · 2 months

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I just saw a person say that "naruto (the character) has no depth and is very cliche and predictable"

...

Ugh.

Aren't you people tired of being completely incorrect? Like genuinely? If you think naruto has no depth and complexity as a character then it simply proves to me that you have no analytical skills.

In comparison to, say, sasuke - it may seem as though naruto is more one dimensional. HOWEVER, the reason why it seems this way is because naruto is a little more subtly written.

When it comes to sasuke we see him; facing his abusers (danzo and a1p itachi) in the name of justice & emotional developments that are easy to understand because sasuke reacts to abuse in a way that makes sense to most. Sasuke haters (the braindead) aside.

Naruto on the other hand? We never see him face his abusers (the people of the hidden leaf) & his emotional developments are overlooked by the audience in favour of grand, shonen-esque fight scenes (i.e. the LoW arc. We see naruto maturing and developing his ninja way due to haku (character development??) but this is overlooked by many for some reason), etc. But no, you think that because naruto is a happy go-lucky 'idiot' there is no room for any other character traits.

A lot of his character is built around the neglect he faces as a child. In og naruto, we are introduced to a loud mouthed, annoying, attention seeking brat. AND THIS MAKES SENSE! Naruto has never received positive attention in his LIFE (bar the third's very much occasional visit) so of course he is going to go out of his way to get some - negative or not. So he is loud so people will look at him. He is prankster so people can laugh with him instead of at him. He's an optimistic smile-freak in order to hide the very real anger and misery he feels. Do you think it is a coincidence that kishi choose for naruto, a repressed young boy, to only release the power of the nine tails when extremely angry, fearful or otherwise I'm distress? No. It's a direct reflection of naruto's own emotional toil.

Who has the most attention and respect in the village? The hokage. What does naruto want most in the world atp? Respect and attention. So what does naruto want to be? Hokage. But when naruto was facing dark naruto when training with bee - he acknowledges that he still feels resentment and anger towards the village for how they treated him. He got everything he wanted, he got the respect, he got the attention. And yet, deep down, he wasn't happy with it. Because being so socially outcasted his whole life leave a toll of you. Leaves you with psychological issues that follows you for a long time.

This doesn't even mention the dehumanisation that naruto goes though throughout the series - even in shippuden, though this is more unintentional by the surrounding characters atp- due to him being a jinchuuriki. A literal weapon of state. An oppressed minority who were being hunted down and slaughtered by the akatsuki in their own villages. How does this demonstrate a lack of nuance? A lack of complexity? It doesn't. You only extrapolate surface level ideas from a text and call it a day.

This isn't even touching the bond between sasuke and naruto, yknow, the most developed and emphasised relationship in the entire manga? The relationship that is the key to understanding both characters, their emotions, their mental state and character decisions? But anyway. That's a WHOLEEEE other post for a whole nother day

#pro naruto uzumaki #like so fucking pro naruto uzumaki #pro sasuke uchiha #tangentially #naruto meta #anti konoha #anti danzo #anti sandaime hokage

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vaelzz · 4 months

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I spent almost 6 months working on/off with this and it's uh something lol? (experimental ig) I was using an earlier text to speech model and inputting my lyrics I wrote into it and building a song around it which was the biggest and most time consuming headache ever tracking all the different vocal takes and complex intersecting beats. The next one I do is definitely going to be a lot more simple because I don't have the sanity to sit there for a ridiculous amount of hours just yet and this song feels pretty weird and niche too so yeah idefk. Lyrics: I've heard the bones you carry are an acquired taste How many do you have in your body I have two-hundred and six, (give or take) So please don't break them

Broken bones are such painful things, So let's break the sticks with stones Or maybe…

We can collect them Lock them in a box, Throw them off a cliff, Freeze them in the Antarctic

Anything that comes as cathartic If there's no sticks and stones There's nothing that will ever hurt you We can strip the walls of colour, If the brightness hurts your eyes

No more reds, no more blues, just a grayscale sky, In a muted world, where emotions gently lie The vibrancy of greens, they all turn to gray, Disfigure the world to our own array

I think I'm getting bored, on my own accord All this black and grey, has nothing to say Maybe we can paint our shadow so it can pretend it has purpose, Hah stupid shadow, imagine having purpose

Deflect these thoughts in the prism of my mind, to project a prison to my kind

Yeah well I'm one of a kind and I'm stumbling blind, Perfect time to throw your stones and beat, beat, beat me with your sticks… Except I'll just do it myself.

Break, Break teeth on the glass of a façade, I'll run and ruin my own parade Then bite down hard with broken shards Then gurgle blood and stutter

ugh, what is it you want me to say because I don't care or have anything to say

I think I'm getting bored, on my own accord Fuck all this black and grey, has nothing to say Let's paint my shadow purple

PURPLE, P, for Purpose, hooray, let's make my day Cause I think I'm getting bored on my own accord (imagine having purpose)

I'll bite down on my tongue hard, with broken shards. Swirl the blood around, like a centrifuge Break it down to the bare essentials Spit it out and ask you if I have potential

If it hurts your eyes we can peel all the paint away

#Music #Spotify

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redjadethewriter · 5 months

Text

My take on Blank The Series:

Age Gaps, GL, and Trauma

To make a slow-burn romance interesting to watch, especially with age gaps, regarding WLW relationships, we need many elements.

First, we need a decent cast pair. Second, we need believable performances from the actors who play these complex emotional characters. Third, we need drama. We need a reason behind each action and dialogue exchange between the characters. This is where the story becomes important. We have the characters' story and the plot of the major stuff going down. The back story of the two main characters is the most important to flesh out more than the side or supporting characters.

I'm just going to say it: I'm impressed by the performance of the two actresses who gave life to these characters.

Lately, I've had several coronaries because Thai GL has turned me into a Junkie for their content more than my own countries' versions of sapphic relationships. And they are making age-gap relationships so much more compelling to watch.

The premise is as basic as it comes in terms of story arcs. Actually, I agree with some people that "Blank" and "Gap the Series" were gender-swapped stories. Usually, a wealthy older man falls in love with a young girl. So, now we have an older prominent woman falling in love with the young girl instead, but they made it more tender and somewhat light-hearted. I understand this is an adaptation of a naughty novel, which is fantastic. I write naughty, too. But the series is more tasteful. It focuses more on the crucial aspects versus the naughty.

By the way, I enjoyed the playfulness in both the shows. It's nice to have playful flirting involved versus extreme seduction right out of the gate. Both shows remind me how a romantic relationship or even pursuing a special someone can have a silly, playful approach. It doesn't have to always be serious and get to the sexy stuff. As an older Lesbian, I have a similar playful nature when I'm allowed to express it. Thus, I feel for the older characters willing to become playful with their much younger romantic partners.

However, there's one thing I can relate to since I'm in my late 30s. Is the extreme insecurity of being romantically involved with someone younger than you? In Blank the Series, the age gap difference is 16 years. I'm glad they raised the age bar because it would've caused a lot of issues.

It's funny because I was the girl in my early 20s who hooked up and dated older women in their 30s. The age gap was not 16, but 13 years between me and the older women I had short-term relationships with. So, watching the interaction between Khun Nueng and Anueng, oh my gosh, right way, I thought Khun Nueng was in trouble in so many ways.

Now that my position in life has switched and I'm a similar age to the women I used to date, I understand the complexities they went through. You just only know once you experience it for yourself. Insecurities around age are an enormous factor in reality and in this story. More than the woman loving women aspect or even the drama of others accepting the relationship. Really, the destruction comes from the older woman who can't deal with falling in love with someone younger than them. When you sprinkle trauma on top, with a side of keeping a facade or reputation, it can get chaotic super fast.

Not only did Khun Nueng become attracted to Anueng quickly, but she couldn't resist turning Anueng away, no matter what. The actress performed those rigid responses really well because, in reality, I would have to visit a chiropractor to break my body. The tension alone of repressing my desires would turn me into a ball of knots. Especially if I had no willpower to turn away the person. Ugh... I don't even wanna think about that. Because knowing my karma, something would put me in that position in life. I even resist dating any women in their early 30s. In the late 20s, I will say to the sky, "F***...Why me?" I'm like that anyway each time I fall for a woman. "Oh, f***...Why me?"

I have to sprinkle some satire on this topic because I can already see that the root of every decision and action Khun Nueng makes is based on that insecurity. Internally, she doesn't want to believe Anueng when she constantly says she only wants to be with her and loves her. It doesn't matter how often it's said; it is something that Khun Nueng must overcome regarding age-gap insecurities.

In the ending scene of episode 6, I reacted, "You totally just wanna keep piling on the torment, don't yah?" It's clear throughout the six episodes that she's in love with the girl. She can't even admit that she gets jealous. And oh my gosh, older adults' actions regarding jealousy are more diabolical than younger people. Actually, the older you get, the more sinister it gets. The passive aggressiveness turns up. Believe me... The sky is the limit on tactfulness and mind-f***ing when women get vengeful. Oh, my gosh... I still love women, regardless. LOL! Sweet as poison.

Khun Nueng's stoic demeanor is just a mask. She represses her emotions and vulnerability. Khun Nueng abides by stoicism, which rarely benefits emotional growth. We witness this when she refrains from showing anyone her weakness, so she doesn't cry in front of people, even at her grandmother's wake. When she finally ends up alone and breaks down, Anueng shows up, and Khun Nueng feels safe enough to break down in front of her. Which is hard to do that. I also have a stoic facade, so I recognize that bullshit a mile away, and I know exactly how hard it is to repress grief. Once it erupts, it hurts like hell, but I knew Khun Nueng was fully F*** because there's really no turning back with that kind of intimate exchange they had.

I can't wait for season 2 to see how that bites her in the behind.

Obviously, I don't want Khun Nueng to suffer anymore, but through her mistakes and emotional and mental anguish, she will learn what or who is truly important to her because she's dumb. Just because we are in our 30s or late 30s doesn't mean we are free from stupidity. She definitely needs to make better choices and stop playing so many mind games to protect her ego. She needs to learn to be more upfront about her feelings and wants.

Hopefully, we get that.

I have faith they will.

#blank the series #show review #life blogging #thai gl #gl drama #gl series

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