#like having principals and sticking to your guns is a good thing dont get me wrong- im literally also doing that

[jessiesjaded]

i shouldnt be shocked by peoples naivete and yet I am.

[virtuissimo]

Pride by Ibi Zoboi (Review)

This book is a modern retelling of the Jane Austen’s seminal classic Pride & Prejudice. Zuri Luz Benitez is a black Haitian-Dominican teenager in her senior year of high school whose identity is constructed around her life in Bushwick, a neighborhood with a tight community that is going through aggressive gentrification. Across the street, in one of the new gentrified houses, the Darcy family moves in, including twins Ainsley and Darius, two rich private-school boys sticking out like a fish out of water.

Zoboi’s adaptation creates amazing parallels when compared one-to-one with P&P, but it can’t hold its own very well. The writing is a simplistic and the characterization for most of the named characters is extremely one-dimensional. I was taken a bit by surprise when I found it in the youth section, and the simple writing makes me confused about the age of the intended audience. In any case, I didn’t have a bad time reading this, but I was expecting a lot more than I got.

To expand a little on the intended audience, I think my confusion is mostly because of the conflicting styles. On one hand, Zoboi’s prose is very simple and almost hamfisted in how she handles her characters and story. Other than some nice and age-appropriate poetry from Zuri herself, the rest of the book isn’t very elegant in writing quality. So I said to myself, ok I found it in the youth section. It’s intended for a younger audience. However, all the central characters are in their senior year of high school, and there are numerous allusions to sex and cusses that I’m not sure would fly in middle fiction. I think those who are in this reading level will find the characters too old and teenagery, while those who are the main character’s ages will find the prose to be lacking. Zuri in specific is a voracious reader, and she herself would not have the patience to enjoy reading this book which is far below her reading level.

It’s easier to read this book for what it’s supposed to be saying rather than what it is saying, if that makes any sense. For instance, Darius when he first shows up is quiet and doesn’t offer much information about himself, but he also wasn’t very rude or belligerent upon first impression. I know “prejudice” is half the thing, but Zuri really jumps the gun and kind of started the whole feud in the first place. It just wasn’t that believable that he was some jerk who deserved her hatred like it was with Elizabeth Bennet, and similarly it wasn’t very believable when she later learns that she just misinterpreted his social awkwardness.

Also, I thought it was interesting that the title removed the “prejudice” when to me that seemed like a much bigger aspect of this version than in Austen’s work. For instance, Darius makes a number of disparaging remarks about Bushwick and its “ghetto” people, but even before he makes these remarks Zuri already “hates” him based on stuff she made up about him in her head. And then later, when they begin to get closer, she actually never confronts him about his prejudice and just. Forgives and forgets.

She also forgives and forgets when it comes to Ainsley and Janae. This bothered me a lot more than some of my other nitpicking because it actually changes one of the important themes of P&P. Not that Zoboi doesn’t have the right to alter thematic elements—she absolutely does! But the theme of family and the fact that Zuri would do ANYTHING for her sisters is told to the reader through a lot of exposition, but we don’t actually see it. The moment in the car when she finds out that Darius split up Ainsley and Janae is really representative of that for me. She got angry in the moment, but she never actually investigates to find out WHY he did it like Elizabeth in P&P. On that note, later on when she forgives him, she never asks him to account for it again.

In fact, character motivation and appropriate emotional buildup was a recurring issue in this book. Nothing hit quite like I think Zoboi intended them to.

The talk on gentrification and class difference is good tho. Perhaps incomplete, but there’s only so much space. They really show how class plays a role in a variety of different circumstances and scenarios, and I think Zoboi succeeds here where others have failed.

Some of the parallels that I liked:

-          Warren and Colin took me OUT when they first appeared. You can really see what Zoboi thinks about Mr. Wickham and Mr. Collins from the original lol.

-          The tour of Howard instead of touring the Darcy home was very interesting to me. I think it was a great introduction to how she wasn’t expecting her world to expand so much, and that there’s a lot of different experiences in the world that she’s missing, and she gets introduced to this idea by people who AREN’T Darius and Ainsley. I really liked that.

-          The leopard print and “inappropriate dress” that the Benitez family wore to the Darcy cocktail party. It seems like a good way to show how respectability politics still play into the modern day, and it added a bit of character to the Benitez family as a prototypical Latinx family that I really enjoyed.

-          The Warren and Georgia situation was also a good way to translate this into the modern day.

-          P&P: In order to avoid scandal, Darcy pays for a marriage between a 16 year old and a 20-something known scumbag, and this is seen as a good thing because it saved the Bennet family. Zoboi’s Pride: Darius beats the shit out of Warren. I REALLY CRIED, THIS IS WHAT I WANT OUT OF AN ADAPTATION.

Things I didn’t like so much:

-          Ainsley x Janae is treated like a veeery minor side story instead of being a secondary plot. One of the big things in P&P is that Jane and Bingley are the prototypical pure love story and they think they are the main characters. Ainsley and Janae are not given much space to breathe in the narrative, and their relationship comes across as an afterthought instead of as one of the principal plot threads.

-          The diversion with Darius’ grandmother was also thrown in there like an afterthought. It didn’t add much to the story other than showing that Darius will side with Zuri when push comes to shove. It still felt like it took up a lot more time than it needed to if the grandmother wasn’t going to appear again at the end of the book like in the original. If it’s role to the plot was going to be minimized like that, I don’t really understand why it was included at all.

-          Charlise and Colin as a pair also felt out of place. In the original, Mr. Collins and Charlotte weren’t a major part of the story, but they contributed to the narrative that Austen wanted to tell about marriage and the different types of marriages that exist in English society at the time. Charlise and Colin don’t really have that effect on the story at all. Both characters are completely irrelevant to the plot (except Colin in the last possible moment), and they’re only really there to BE an adaptation.

-          Some of the plot beats were rearranged. I didn’t mind this so much since any number of directorial decisions are valid so long as the have a positive impact on the adaptation’s goal, but I didn’t really see how they added much.

One thing I REALLY liked was the addition of Madrina. I’m not sure if she’s a reference to something I don’t remember from the text or a completely original addition, but I thought she made for some really interesting moments. I especially loved how much connection Zuri felt with her Orisha worship and that they called her “daughter of Ochun.” I would change NOTHING about this, it was pure and really sweet.

One adaptation I WISH Zoboi had made was to have Zuri call out Darius’ hypocrisy. In P&P, the Bennetts are certainly in a different social class from Darcy and the Bingleys, but they’re ultimately still property owners in Britain. The stakes are different here. Darius keeps talking about how things in his life aren’t perfect just because he’s rich (which is absolutely true, especially when Zoboi starts getting into his experience as a black teenager surrounded by white classmates), but he is STILL not really understanding the difference in experience between himself and Zuri. The thing is, although she’s not right to judge Darius’ whole personality, she absolutely IS right about a lot of his privilege at the very beginning, but she kind of lets that go after a while. Zuri confronts Darius about his wealth many times, but to me at least it doesn’t really seem like she was able to convince him that his whole outlook on life is fundamentally different because of his wealth. Idk maybe I’m grasping at straws here. I just wish that Darius had actually talked about like . trying to persuade his parents to donate more to charity, or doing community service, or idk DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH. Darius doesn’t change much in the story. At the beginning, he’s like “sorry im rich but lmfao you’re being mean to me!” and then at the end he is like “I am simply a rich boy, I cannot change this” which is barely a difference at all.

Anyways. I really didn’t hate this book. I wanted to like it a lot more than I did, which is why I have all these criticisms about it.

I recommend this to anyone who wants to read a thoughtprovoking discussion on class through the lens of one of history’s most overrated love stories (speaking as someone who loves P&P: yea it’s overrated). Read it for Zuri and Darius, who are totally different people from Elizabeth and Darcy. Read it for nostalgia, because even though I don’t know what it feels like to be one of 5 Afrolatine kids in Bushwick, I Felt that family affection.

3/5 for having great ideas but not such great execution.

[michael-hearteyes-wheeler]

Bad Brains

[1] [2] [3] [4]

Chapter 5: Authority-Shmority

(AO3) (FF.net)

November 30th, 1987

If there was one thing that El learned while growing up in the city, it was always question authority.

Back in the group home, El had befriended a wild child named Kali. They became bunk mates,  partners in crime, and sisters. Kali was a bit older, and she took El under her wing. She was assertive, and demanded attention simply by entering a room. El would never forget the way she walked straight up to her on her first day while she cried alone on her bunk.

‘Don't waste your time crying over people who don’t deserve it. You are better than them, and that's why you’re here.’

From that moment on they were inseparable. Kali gave her the nickname El, but they soon called each other by their first names (and were the only foster kids to do so) because they knew that they would be in each others lives forever. She showed all of the best places in the city, she taught her how to steal candy without getting caught, all about the patriarchy, and the punk rock gospel.

When Kali got a bit older, she found a group of like minded people living on the streets and she convinced El to to run away and join them. For awhile it seemed like a good decision. They drove around in a cozy van, they slept in an abandoned warehouse, and protected each other. In a lot of ways, it was the most exciting time in Els life. They would vandalise buildings and train cars, they stole from war criminal oil tycoons to give back to the poor, they went to shows and spread their message everywhere they could. There was a political revolution happening on the streets, and El had a front row seat.

That was until her new found gang decided to take it too far.

Kali wanted revenge on the people responsible for the abuse she had been through, the abuse that they had all been through. While her anger was fully justified, it just felt wrong. It started with robbery, then moved to forgery, then arson, and before long even that wasn't enough to satisfy Kali’s rage. She wanted them dead.

It was when they broke into one man's home, that El finally decided enough was enough. She watched the way he struggled and begged for his life while he stared down the barrel of Kali’s gun. She saw the terror in the eyes of his daughters in the next room, and she saw the lust for blood in Kali’s. So she bailed. She caught a late night bus back to the warehouse they hid out in, and waited for them to come home. She knew they would be pissed, but at least her conscious would be clear knowing she wasn't around to watch Kali pull the trigger.

But they never came back.

She spent the night alone. Then another, and another, until the days turned into weeks. She was out of food and nearly frozen to death by the time the cops raided the building. That's when Hopper found her, and that's when her new life started.

After that, is was a blur of hospital stays, legal documents, court rooms, and then packing up what little things she had and moving in with Hopper. He let her buy new clothes, and bought her her very own walkman, and when they moved to Hawkins she got to have her own room for the first time in her entire life. Her counselor had said it was a miracle that she was adjusting so well, and that most kids in her situation would be either junkies, psychopaths, or both.

But El was a fighter. She was strong, and she refused to let her past dictate her future. She resented Kali for leaving her, but she understood why. She was a traitor, and hardly any better than the criminals that Kali fought. But she would never forget the lessons Kali taught her, about sticking up for the little guy, fighting injustice, and defending your beliefs at all times. For El it wasn't just about being angry, or loud music, or ripped clothes, it was a mindset based on making change for the better no matter what the cost.

Even now in Hawkins, El’s aggressive political attitude didn't change. Hawkins was painfully behind the times socially, and she wasn't about to let it slide. She rarely spoke up in class unless it was to tell off some sexist asshole in English, or argue the merits of women in history, or join in a heated political debate in social studies.

Or, as was the case today, telling her Gym teacher that is was, in fact, ‘total bullshit’ to make the girls scrub down the gym equipment in the musty old storage closet, while the boys got to run the track outside on one of the few nice days they had had in weeks.

“You should be grateful, girly.” Sneered a very smug Mr. Meloney, a heavy set man with beady little eyes and permanent bad breath. “You get the easy end of the deal. Someone's gotta clean the equipment, and don't curse at me.”

“But that is bullshit! I don't care about getting the ‘easy’ way out! It’s not fair, or right! Why don't we all clean, and then we can all go outside after?” She hissed, raising her voice. Most of the boys in class groaned, it was just another one of the freak girls stupid rants, but several of the girls hollered their approval.

“I said not to curse at me! If I hear one more thing out of you it's going to be detention. Now why don't you go sit on the bleachers and fix your makeup, looks like you have a god damn black eye.” He pointed a finger at her and several of the boys laughed.

She felt her blood start to boil, he had gone to far. She took a tentative step towards him and balled her fists. “I should give you a black eye.” She hissed through her teeth, her rage welling up into her throat. She reeled back and spit at him. “Fucking pig.”

Several of the girls behind her cheered. Mr. Maloney was a known creep. He made all of the girls feel uncomfortable and often treated them like garbage, clearly just because of their gender and his own sick issues. It was honestly a relief that someone like El started standing up to him.

“That is it Hopper!” He grabbed Els wrist and drug her out into the hallway, she squirmed but his grip was tight and it felt like it was going to leave a gnarly bruise. “Get your ass to the principal's office before I kick it there.”

She finally managed to jerk herself free and stomped to the front office of the school. She was going to be in deep shit when she got home but she couldn't help it. It was the right thing to do, and she wasn't about to let that perv slide.

She spent the rest of the period in the principal's office silently fuming as she was written up for detention, and Hopper was called.

At least her friends were supportive.

“You should have kicked him in the crotch.” Dustin said with his mouth full of sandwich.

“Yeah! Or actually punched him that would have been great!” Lucas agreed laughing.

“He's lucky I didn't. I wanted to, but that probably would have gotten me expelled.” El sighed.

“God he is such a creep.” Max shuddered. “He totally checks out all of the girls when they jog. It's disgusting.”

“He does!?” Mike and Will gasped in unison. El and Max both nodded with a grimace.

“That's what happens when you have a position of authority.” El shrugged. “Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even stupid gym teachers.” She stabbed at her poor excuse for a salad, not really feeling hungry.

“What does that mean?” Dustin asked dumbfoundedly.

“It's a famous quote from British politician, Lord Acton.” Max answered nonchalantly. The boys turned to her sharply as if she had just spoken another language. “What? El talks about this stuff a lot. I thought you guys were supposed to be the smart ones.”

“It means that when you have authority you are likely to abuse it because no one can stop you. It's why most politicians are liars, and most teachers are assholes.” El added.

They all nodded and mumbled in agreement. It was kind of funny, watching El slowly open their eyes to the underground political agenda.

But her cop father was another story.

She knew the entire walk home that she was going to get an earful when Jim got off work. Until then, she was going to listen to music as loud as her speakers would allow and let off some steam from her shitty day.

She was sitting on the couch reading a magazine when he got home. Her stereo was blasting The Runaways, so she didn't hear him pull up, or walk inside, or stomp into the living room until he was looming above her. She jolted upright when he stomped to her stereo and shut it off without a word.

“Hey!” She yelled.

“Don't hey me! I have told you a thousand times not to listen to that crap that loud.” He was furious.

“God chill! I'm sorry, okay?” His tone, and her bad day put her in an argumentative mood.

“Chill? I get a call at work that you get detention and you want me to chill?”

“It wasn't my fault!”

“Oh it wasn't your fault huh? You call your teacher a ‘fucking pig’ and it wasn't your fault?” He was still towering above her.

“No! Because he was being a pig! He is a total perv and a dirtbag and I wasn't going to take any of his crap anymore!” She stood up, still much to short to be at his eye level, but staring daggers at him.

“Look, kid, you are in the real world now. And in the real world you can't just go around cursing and spitting at people like some kind of little street brat!”

“The real world!? As if I have been living some charmed fantasy life up until this point!? Give me a break!” She felt angry tears brimming in her eyes.

“That girl you used to pal around with filled your head with a lot of garbage ideas! You need to grow up!” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Grow the hell up!”

“Get the fuck off of me!” She ripped out of his grasp and stomped up to her room, but he was close on her heels. She turned to slam her door but he stuck his arm in just in time to catch it.

“Don't walk away from me when I am talking to you! This is exactly what im talking about. You like to play pretend that you are this angry punk but you just run away from your problems! You are never going to get anywhere in this world if you dont drop the act and own up to your mistakes.” His words cut deep into her like a knife. He was right, all she ever did was run away.

Run away from her abusive father, run away from the foster home, run away from Kali, and run away to Hawkins. She wasn't tough at all, no matter how much makeup she hid under, no matter how thick her leather jacket was, or how strong her ideals were. Inside she was still just a scared little girl. So while he yelled at her, for the first time, she just stayed quiet and listened. Hot tears streamed down her face as she took his beratement.

“You are grounded for two weeks. That means no TV, no stereo-” He turned and ripped her boombox from the wall. “And no going out with your friends. You are going to go to school, and come home and study and get over this bullshit. Do I make myself clear?” He got in her face again and she turned to avoid his glare.

“I said, do I make myself clear!?” He yelled. She turned to face him, long streaks of black mascara running down her face.

“Yes.” Her voice was like ice.

He said nothing as he turned around and slammed her door closed behind him, her stereo in hand. She flopped back on her bed and pulled a pillow over her face so she could scream into it. She wanted to badly to go downstairs and yell at him some more, she had so much more to say, but she knew none of it would change anything.

So instead she just stared up at the ceiling for hours. Thinking over all of the things she hasn't let herself think about in a long time.

‘Where is Kali? I hope she is okay. Im sure she must hate me, but I would give anything to see her right now. No one understood me the way she did.

All I ever do is run away. Run away so no one can leave me first. So no one realizes that I am worthless. Worthless and unlovable.’

It started getting dark, and as the sun set it became clear that Hopper wasn't going to be making dinner. She didn't want to see him anyway. She felt like she was going crazy. She jumped off her bed and stormed back and forth, the anxiety in her gut rising and pulsing, not letting her sit down. Usually she could just tune her feelings out with music, or a movie, or a long walk through town.

‘That's it!’

She threw on a warm grey sweater and strapped on her favorite boots. She flipped the light in her room off so that he would think she was sleeping and she locked the door on her way out. She silently opened her window and perched herself on its edge, feeling the cool air wrap around her. Lucky for her there was a small potting shed just under window that she could use to jump onto, and from there it was only a slight drop to the ground. She set of in the direction of Max’s house, wishing more than anything she had taken up her offer to learn how to skate. It wasn't too bad of a walk, but it was cold and dark.

‘At least I don't have to worry about getting stabbed out here in the sticks.’ She chuckled to herself, wrapping her arms tightly around herself and pressing forward.

It was a little after 10:00pm when she arrived at the Mayfield house. She could hear the usual sounds of Billy, Max's brother, and her step dad arguing inside, but luck for her, Max’s bedroom light was on. She grabbed a handful of pebbles and tossed them up at the girls window.

A few second later Max was sticking her head out into the night air and looked around he darkness.

“Lucas?” Max asked in a harsh whisper. El burst out laughing and stepped into the light.

“Sorry to disappoint you.” El chortled. “Does he come throw rocks at your window often?”

“Ugh, no shut up!” Max rolled her eyes, blushing furiously. “Why are you here?”

“Hopper grounded me, so naturally I snuck out. Lets go to the park or something.” El kicked the grass and smirked.

“Oh shit dude that sucks.” Max shook her head. “Okay yeah let me get my jacket.” her head disappeared from the window, and a few moments later she was back, tossing her skateboard out and jumping down from her window.

They walked to the nearby park, well, if you could call it a park. It was really just a few swings, a small set of rusty monkey bars, and a big dusty baseball diamond, but it was all they had available. Max and El jumped up on the swings, Max kicked off with great force, sending her soaring through the cool air. El just sat, kicking at the dirt and lighting up a cigarette.

“Max, why does everything suck so much?” El griped, exhaling softly into the air.

“No clue. It’s like a global conspiracy.” Max chuckled, her voice raising and lowering in volume as she zoomed back and forth.

“If by global conspiracy you mean thousands of years of patriarchy then yeah, pretty much.” El leaned against the cold metal chain of her swing and took another long drag.

“Hey, I think I have an idea.” Max said digging her feet into the dirt bellow and kicking up bark chips and dust, skidding to a stop.

“What's that?” El said exhaling another long breath of smoke.

“I'll bet the boys have never snuck out before.” Her face was turned up in the signature ‘Madmax’ devilish grin.

“So?”

“So let's get them to sneak out with us!”

“I doubt they will be down for that.” El sighed, stifling the end of her cigarette against the chain.

“Please. Lucas and Dustin will do anything to prove they aren't dorks. Plus Will is kind of always up for anything, and I know seeing Mike would make you feel better!” Max swung sideways bumping into El. A faint smile flashed across Els face, and before she had time to think of a rebuttal Max was pulling her by the hand in the direction of the Sinclair house.

All it took was one well thrown pebble, and Max waving to get Lucas to climb down off of his roof and join the girls. He seemed practically giddy (and like this wasn't his first time scaling his roof to get down). He had his Supercom and he used it to call Mike and Dustin. Dustin called Will and within the span of less than half an hour, all six teenagers were congregated back at the park.

Max and Lucas decided to race each other to the top of the monkey bars. A challenge that Max quickly won with little effort. Her and Lucas got lost in conversation from their perch, giggling and whispers about who knows what as the rest of the party milled around the field.

Will and Dustin were deep in a debate about some X-men character, and running around the field reenacting scenes like proper geeks.

Mike and El made their way to the swings and seeing him really did make her feel better. Being around her friends always made her feel better because they were the first friends she had that didn't make her feel like she had to prove something just to be close with them. If anything it seemed the opposite. It was always the boys trying to show off and prove they weren't just small town nerds, and it was kind of endearing.

“Hey El?” Will asked from across the dirt playground. “Who do you think is more likely to be a secret superhero? Henry Rollins or Glen Danzig?”

El snorted, surprised by the question. She admittedly didn't know a lot about superheros, but she did know that the lead singers of Black Flag and The Misfits respectively were some of the toughest guys in the music scene.

“Definitely Danzig. He probably has like demon superpowers. Did you know he is only 5’ 3”?”

“Holy crap really? That shorter than I am!” Will belly laughed.

“And just like you he is tiny but powerful.” El giggled

Dustin and Mike watched them like they were speaking in tongues, but it was nice having someone to talk to about stuff like this. She never would have guessed she would find someone with decent music taste in farm country. Thank god for Will Byers.

After the riveting talk wore down, it became apparent that Will really was out of his comfort zone. So much for being ‘up for anything’. As it got later, despite his clear discomfort, Will was pretending not to be freaked out by every noise, and car that drove past. And why he was asking for the hundredth time if they were ‘ sure everything was going to be fine’.

“God yes Will! We aren't going to get in trouble!” Dustin sighed rubbing his brow. While everyone else seemed to be enjoying the thrill of being out after dark, the Byers boy was a nervous wreck.

“You can't know that! I'm just going to bike home before my mom or Jonathan knows i'm gone.” Will zipped up his coat and hoisted his backpack over his shoulder.

“You shouldn't go home by yourself this time of night.” Max hollered from her place on top of the monkey bars. “There are weirdos out this late.” She snickered, throwing Will an unnerving expression.

“Really?” Will asked, gripping his bike handles and looking terrified.

“No not really, Max is just trying to scare you.” Mike rolled his eyes, throwing the giggling girl an accusing glare. “But it's probably more safe if I go with you.” He reluctantly moved to stand up, but before he could, Dustin beat him to it.

“I'll go home with you. I live closer.” He sighed, mounting his own Bike. He and Will clicked the small duct taped head lanterns on. “And besides, I don't want to be the fifth wheel.”

“Um well, bye guys!” Will smiled, clearly relieved to be getting home.

“See you later, little Danzig.” El chuckled.

Everyone watched in silence was the two boys peddled off, trying not to think about the implications of Dustin's ‘fifth wheel’ comment.

“Well alright!” Max hollered, jumping off of the monkey bars in a swift leap. “I want to walk around the track.”

“I'll come with you!” Lucas said, a huge grin spreading across his face as he climbed down. His descent was just as graceful as hers, and in seconds he was jogging to keep up with Max as she sauntered towards the distant baseball diamond.

El and Mike watched them leave, and became aware of the silence hanging in the air.

“I guess they are probably going to like... Makeout or whatever.” Mike chuckled nervously.

El giggled and nodded. “Yeah probably. You know earlier, when I knocked on her window, she thought I was Lucas. I think they do this a lot.”

“Jeez.” Mike rubbed his neck. “I guess that makes sense, I always thought Lucas would be the first one of us to...” He cut his sentence short, feeling suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment.

“To what?” El asked curiously.

“To... you know...” He kicked at the dirt. “Like kiss a girl.”

El turned to him sharply, eyes wide with surprise. “Wait... none of you have ever kissed anyone?” She gaped.

Mikes face turned a deep scarlet and he cleared his throat nervously. “No not really. Dustin said that he kissed some girl at summer camp last year but I think he is full of shit. It's not like girls are really into the whole dork thing.” He gestured to himself, forcing an awkward smile.

El was genuinely shocked. Granted, she had never kissed anyone either, but that was mostly by choice. She looked at him and searched for the right thing to say, but she just found it so inconceivable.

‘How could anyone not want to kiss Mike? Dork or not.’

“Well it's not like a big deal or anything, to not be kissed.” She cringed at her own words. “It's probably not even that great.”

“Yeah. Probably not.” They both chuckled dryly in the tension of the situation. Then what she said dawned on him. “Wait, you have never kissed anyone either?”

“Nope. No one has ever been cool enough to deserve it.” El giggled. It wasn't the entire truth, a big part of her never having dated anyone lay in the fact that she was terrified of opening up to someone else, but everyone being lame was a large factor as well.

Mike chuckled with her, and looked up to catch Els glaze, she was wearing a similar blush to his own and he felt the sudden urge to move closer to her.

El shifted on the swing seat, feeling compelled to move in closer as well. The pale moonlight beamed across Mikes dark eyes and freckles, making him look incredibly beautiful. She felt her heart catch in her throat as they moved even closer.

They were close enough now that Mike could feel the heat coming off of her body. Her hair was firmly slicked back to way it usually was, but her walk had shaken several of her curls loose and they twisted around her cheeks and ears. That, combined with the oversized grey sweater she was wearing made her look so soft and warm.

They were only inches apart now. They both hitched their breath, suddenly hyper aware of everything that was happening. Every sound, every breath, the whistle of the wind, the blue moon light, every slight movement towards the other. El’s eyes fluttered closed, as Mike tilted his head in towards her. She could feel his shaky breathe on her lips, and she realized he was just as nervous as her.

‘I can't believe it! I'm about to have my first Kiss! And with Mike Wheeler!’

But then something ripped through the silence.

Just as they were about to close the small space between them, Max and Lucas’s laughter filled the night, and they both jumped apart. The chains on their swings groaning from the movement. Lucas and Max came running from the far side of the field, Lucas trailing behind and both teens squealing. It didn't seem like they had seen anything, they were far too preoccupied in whatever nauseating form of couples tag they were playing.

Mike jumped up from the swing and smoothed out his shirt nervously. He was still sporting a deep red blush and a slightly goofy smile. El was sure she didn't look any better. Her stomach felt warm and like it was twisting itself into knots, she couldn't look him in the eyes.

“Lucas Im going to kick your ass!” Max laughed as Lucas, finally catching up to her, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Max slapped at his back but she was laughing too hard to actually be much of a fight.

He set her down once they reached the park again and she punched him hard in the arm. The couple walked over the the swings, both of their faces plastered with huge grins.

“Okay kids, I think it's time to go home.” Max said, slapping an arm down on Els shoulder. El sighed, her nerves still racing from her almost-kiss. Max was probably right, it was getting late and they did have school tomorrow morning.

The boys grabbed their bikes and everyone walked out to the road. While they did not live anywhere near each other, Max and Lucas both started walking off in the direction of Max's house.

“Um Lucas? Aren't you going home?” Mike scoffed at his friend.

“Uh... yeah I am I just want to make sure Max gets home safe.” Lucas and Max ginned bashfully at each other. “Because of the weirdos and stuff.”

The couple turned around and walked off again, trailing down Old Cherry Road and into the darkness of the night. Even when El couldn't see them, she could hear Max’s boisterous laugh.

“They are such dweebs.” El chuckled.

“Yeah totally.” Mike sneered. They stood in silence for a moment, not wanting to part just yet. “I could... walk you home if you want.”

El beamed up at the shaggy dark haired boy and nodded. “That would be cool.” She tucked a curl behind her ear, quickly adding with sarcasm; “So that the weirdos don't get me.”

They walked slowly down the hill towards the quiet side of town that El lived on. Mike pushed his bike next to him, hands gripped the handle bars. They both stole glances at each other, each time making them quickly look down at their feet. They walked almost the entire way in silence, both too completely lost in thought. El was still dazed that she had been so close to kissing someone, and she hoped he was thinking the same things. Every time she looked over at him her heart thumped loudly in her chest. She wanted to kick herself for being so gushy over him but she just couldn't help it, he was the sweet nerdy boy of her dreams.

In only 20 minutes, an unfortunately short walk, they reached Els home.  The lights were off inside, meaning Hopper had gone to bed. Mike didn't know what he had been expecting, but this cozy little farmhouse on the end of the quaint road wasn't it. El was just too surreal to live somewhere so... normal. They stood under the streetlamp for a moment, Mike marveling at the way she looked while bathed in yellow light, and El not wanting to walk away from him just yet. It was a strange feeling, like some kind of gravitational pull keeping her glued to her spot whenever he was near.

Eventually she figured she should say something. “Well this is me.”

‘I am such an idiot! He knows this is my house he just walked me here!’

“It's nice.” Mike said, hoping to drag the conversation out as long as possible.

“I guess i'll see you at school tomorrow?” She asked, looking at the ground.

“Yeah!” He said a little to enthusiastically. “Um... thanks for asking us to sneak out. I had a lot of fun.”

“I had fun too. Maybe you should start sneaking out more often, live on the wild side a little bit.” She said sarcastically. “Maybe you could even come throw pebbles at my window.”

Mikes eyes went wide and he suppressed the urge to smile like a dope. “Uh yeah! And maybe we can run around acting like dweebs like Max and Lucas.”

El giggled, trying to act apathetic, but desperately wishing he was serious. “Totally! And maybe next time i'll get to walk you home.”

“I would like that.” Mike smiled.

Suddenly it became apparent that they were standing just inches apart again. El felt her heart beating in her chest, and in an impulse she took another step forward, so close that they were practically embracing.

Mike looked down at her, and his voice caught in his throat. He wanted to tell her how much he liked her. How much fun she was to spend time with, how happy she made him, how he felt like he was alive whenever they hung out. But he just stared at her. Her beauty, her warm hazel eyes, her loose caramel curls, her soft rosy skin. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Even more than that, she was the most amazing girl he had ever met.

On impulse, acting against every instinct he normally would have had, he reached out and put a gentle hand on her cheek, cupping her face. Their sudden proximity made him feel almost dizzy, but everything about her made him feel dizzy. He let his bike drop to the road, and he placed his other palm lightly on her side.

El was stunned. She wanted him so badly to kiss her, but he didnt move. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder and inched even closer. It felt like an eternity as they held each other, and she realized that if anyone was going to make the move it was going to be her.

So she moved ever closer, and just as she was about to go in for the kill, he spoke.

“El?” His voice was a whisper, his breathe warm on her skin.

“Yes?” She leaned in closer.

“I... never gave you back your mixed tape.” He said it like some kind of admission of guilt.

El let out a sudden, short laugh in surprise and stepped back a bit. Her face quirked up in a half grimace, half astonished glower. “Oh... Um, It's fine. Thank you for remembering... I guess.”

“Uh yeah... sorry I kept it so long.” He fished it out of his pocket. “It was pretty good by the way. I mean I only got to listen to it once before my little sister stole my tape player.” He rubbed the back of his neck and cough awkwardly.

“I'm glad you liked it. I'll have to make you another one sometime.” El let herself frown fully. Had she misread the entire interaction? Was he really only concerned with her mixed tape? She wanted to punch herself for getting so flustered, and worked up and... hopeful.

“Well... um... Have a good night.” Mike mumbeled, scuffing his shoes along the ground.

El creased her eyebrows at him. Maybe she had gotten a bit carried away, and maybe she had gotten ahead of the situation, but she was damn sure that they almost kissed. Twice! She wasn't going to let him get away so easily.

She turned to face him straight up and down, and looked at him intently. “Mike. I like you.” He looked up at her with wide eyes, as if he had seen a ghost. “I mean it. I think you are nice, and sweet, and you care about people, which is super foreign to me. You make me laugh and you make me happy and I don't feel judged when i'm with you. I like you. A lot.”

“El...” He started, still bewildered.

‘Go ahead, tell me you don't feel the same way. Why would you?’

“El I like you too. A lot. You are so smart and amazing, and awesome. You don't let people push you around, or push me and the guys around. You are so strong even though you have dealt with a lot, and you are so so crazy intelligent. You know so much about things I had never even heard of. I like you so much.”

“Wow...” She breathed, not meaning to say it out loud, but realizing she had when he blushed.

El walked forward, and wrapped her arms around him in a sweet, yet encompassing hug. After a while they stepped apart, but remained close enough to feel each others warm breath as it clouded in the evening air.

“Wow to you too.” He Smirked. She punched him in the arm lightly, making them both laugh. She still wanted to kiss him, more than anything she wanted to kiss him, but there would be time for that another day.

El reached out and grabbed his hand, musing over how nice it was to watch the way their fingers laced together. “Goodnight Mike. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight El.” He squeezed her hand softly for a moment before mounting his bike and driving away in the direction of home. The whole way, smiling like the biggest dopey, dweeb anyone had ever seen. He understood every part of the face Lucas had made when he rejoined them on the park. He was head over heels for El Hopper, the Punk Rock badass from Chicago.

El watched him ride away, waiting until he was out of sight before she walked to her house. She decided to use the front door, assuming it would be much quieter than trying to clamber back up to her window. Her house was silent, but her ears were still ringing with the beating in her chest. She layed back down in her bed, and for the second time that day she muffled a shriek into her pillow.

Only this time, it was a scream of joy. Pure, innocent, unfaltering, heart-swelling, joy. She was head over heels for Mike Wheeler, the kindhearted nerd from Hawkins.

Tagging:

@el-themage @mileventwentyfourseven

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So this is a good video with lots of details and it should help explain why and how these officers are arrested.

This goes back to George Floyd. Remember i said it didn't matter who and what George Floyd had done -- when those officers put on their uniforms and went to him as cops and purposely killed him in that manner it changed things

Every time I write about how we have specific requirements people have in their death for their criminal activity in lui of prison I write how we have specific people allowed to do it.

Now some demanded they be killed by cops. And i refused that in excepting where they "rat" out their cop friends or up to 4 regular friends or co-workers and we set and/or allow it to occur that way. And i stipulated that they must be off duty if they were going to do anything for the Earth. Off duty cops only. And to which a reluctant agreement and/or an immediate acceptance did occur. And they did rat out their friends already there. So that was in their favor so they accepted off duty out of uniform officers. I said that they could like be listening to the police scanner and then go on their own to a crime in place and then be unidentified in news articles. Just as their clothing did not identify them, the news media and other officers would not identify them either.

We had a whole rule sheet. Which we all 100% agreed to. African American. Caucasian. Hispanic. Latino. Zulululu. Tribeca. Original human. And more. It wasn't a just three or four people we had over 100 people with each and every minority race accept at least twice with 2 different individuals. I worked with the meanest. Moat stubborn and most dictatorial. Then others read over the document I typed as we talked and signed it on approval. 254 people. 10 non criminals signed off. 34% African American criminal.

Because we scheduled on the Black Lives Matter, we wanted a majority of African American of mixed alien and evil human to have their say. They will add the document onto this post. And likely blur the signatures for privacy.

This was a Middle man. He wasn't sure if he wanted to have his family suffer through jail time and all that for his sanity to know he's loved or cut and dry have it over for them immediately and them.

So they signed another form where it was not like the other which was just sign random like a year book. But in a list. At that time those who were undecided could be dismissed if they signed onto one or the other is fine whatever is Destiny is. Or if they were firm. Some like the one whom was hung stayed because he was one of the ones who fought for procedure for the criminals. Then we brought more People in to have their voices on other subjects.

So they were grouped as to how and why. Then at the end we emailed and said this is all we have. Your last time to vote is now. And so if they changed it, then they were taken single and asked why or did they want an option mix so it was a mystery zzz

George Floyd was there and he did rat out his police he was working with and we told him because they were police it was our choice. And we would not ever say he told.

George Floyd then brought over Rayshard and said he had death questions and that was all

And I said "well what are you doing George?! Don't mix him up! He was fine! Hes a strong good one"

"You know. You're so weird you give us love and support although you hate us" George Floyd replied. I didn't know what to say. I did. And it hurt my chest and it was exhausting and literally made me sick. But I still felt it was the right thing to do. But they broke my heart. I did give them all 100% of my love. And it nearly killed me. And I was grateful he noticed. I was killing myself for them and he knew. And he cared about that.

"You know I feel real When I've cared about you and well all the others, too. And you feel that? I've given you all my love as a friend as best i could. My tolerance and patience and I just want to say thank you that you noticed"

He blushed and he admitted that he wanted to get out of the life. And George Floyd, did.

In 2008. I told him, "George Floyd, talk to me. I have a feeling. I see you will die anyway because you're in a dangerous position. So if you are killed while trying to get clean, what do you want me to do for you?"

He was not thrilled and his head spun "by who?"

"Cops. Or someone you think is family. I see not a knife but a manual killing. Like its not an auto like gun But hand to hand but it's fast and you suffer..." I lowered my eyes from his beautiful face and looked down at my laptop key board... "Less" and I kept my head bowed to breathe. To not cry. To keep myself sane and we'll balanced. Then I took a deep breath. And tuned to my left where my officials were "hey I have a problem. He's going to be killed when he's innocent"

George Floyd asked for a riot. All i could tell him was it was a dark and suffocating but fast and nearly painless death. "Almost relaxing when you pass. There's something wrong with you isnt there? See now i actually thought you were a CIA agent sitting over there like under cover. But you die. I am feeling it now --- every thing is too wild inside of you, uncontrolled. Like you're...... Restless for lack of a better word. Here come sit next to me"

"But that's your daughter's chair"

"She will come to me. Sit in my lap if she doesnt like you"

"Is this a test?"

"No i want to talk to you and you're too tall and it's hurting my neck to look up at you"

"Oh it's too tall!"

They explained the bone structure in my neck and how then it had been broken 66 times and it was painful. He got nervous. I let him settle himself.

"So what is it you want to talk to me about"

"Well you meddle ... No... You progress.. What im talking to you. I see you lurking over the lists and talking to everyone that passes and I'm wondering how they're taking it"

"Oh its good. It's good. Can i go now? I feel like I'm in the principal's office"

My daughter and Declan came preventing his escape. And my daughter accepted him, gave him a hug and sat on his long thigh

"That's not Snoop, you know that?!" I asked her

"Oh mommy you're so silly. I know snoop and this isn't"

She talked to him and judged him as "nice"

"So is it money that you're doing your life like this?"

"Oh what? Yeah" tears came from his eyes. "What's more is I didn't know what to do with myself. I was angry at the world. And i just.. Just.. Made a mistake. But I'm ready to admit to it and own up to it and so is he. But he won't stop, he told me. But i will. I'm thinking and that's what i been telling all them folks, the bros, "im stopping. You with me?" And oh woah. I feel so much better i was so nervous like what is with me and now i feel just a release! Thank you for caring about me"

He reminded me of Jesse James.

"What is your least way you want to die?"

"Oh by cop.I signed up for hanging because I knew you didn't want to and you'd check my file and hopefully then see I was worth living"

I felt this emotional turbine inside of me. A mix of extreme joy and sadness because I knew the world wouldn't work out for him but he was so simply amazing and Gracious and just one beautiful soul. And I told him so. Crying then laughing.

So with him we worked out, the last and worst death to be written in yellow. Then a second option, for I don't mind mystery in purple or pink. And the main option in black or blue.

The worst deaths were to be kept secret. In a seperate locked file that no one has access to but tree Which could release it for revenge sake.

I've felt George Floyd around me a lot since his death.

Rayshand Brooks signed on the same line both yellow and purple. For death by cop.

George Floyd wasn't supposed to die at all.

Rayshand. Was. So those that die in manner they dont want but were scheduled to die, we burn one of my buildings. We water the areas and business around the building we will burn before lighting the fire.

The reason why they're looking for our arson in Atlanta for Wendy's is because she didn't water and it was next to a gas station. And it was on her list of things to do. So the news report stating the 10k award to find her means that she will not be paid for that nights activity because the area around must be watered especially at a gas station. She didn't when push the emergency stop button at the station which is recommended if watering cannot be done. All she did was set the fire and it was a great fire. But she didnt do any other protocol. Only after 5 hours did she admit to not following safety practices. Another girl went and checked the gas station after the fire started and asked the cashier what to do and they decided together to push the emergency stop button and then water the areas around the pumps and in the parking lot with a hose.

It doesn't matter before or after but "recommended steps" means you're gonna recommend I pay you to do shit. I can't order you to do shit that is somewhat illegal to my own mind I can't ask someone to break the law. So all my orders are "recommendations" if you do one thing on the list, you do them all.

It was a $12k payout for the "arson and all the recommendations" it's an a la carte list, all jobs are. Each job pays the # at the end.

#1. Arson

#2. Water 6

#3. press emergency stop 4

#4. stick around to not observe but keep people safe 2

That was the order for Wendy's.

Class how much do we pay for arson? Nothing. The public finds it offensive and illegal.

Watering pays $6,000 if there's 10 people it depends on how much they do. All ten may get the full $6,000 and some may not if they were just standing by to be second hand water for emergency. Then it's at least $2k I have it all rigid and perfected but they pay how they do. Like sometimes you'll water but then someone else will come and you gotta pee and you get adhd and go talk to bystanders and go talk to cops and go drive in the car and check the hood. So you began watering with 2 others and a 4th came up. So you get $2k for 10 minutes plus then other pay. ESPECIALLY since it wasn't your job. CIA only.

Pressing the emergency stop. You can do that on your own then you must notify the gas station attendant of the danger they are in so they may flee (which was written in details) it pays $4,000 also you have to block the driveway to stop cars from entering. Using wet floor signs or traffic cones or water buckets for windshield cleaning what ever is available. I secretly then give businesses a GIFT if we have to close them and i label it under some kind of just good business neighborhood gift. For loss of income during our insanity. Which in this case is $10k for the gas station

Now the Wendy's burned so well due to the fuel inside. And this girl didn't have anyone to clear the Wendy's of financial records or goods. Computers and other Shit. I assumed she did.

The furniture inside should been removed due to vivid and it being a potential burn site. Nothing should,remained but the kitchen. The food in this case could been taken out as well. All you have to do is your jobs.

But whatever. People aren't thinking.

I didn't understand so much why the Mayor was so PISSED because i have a different view and job. And so now I see. Which we haven't got to that point yet.

Im going to continue on fire danger.

Wendys is full of oil. Which the storage oil for future use should be removed. As well as bread and vegetables and so on. What the fuck is the point to burn a big ole building of a restaurant if you're not gonna serve vegetable and cheese sandwiches in the parking lot while watching it burn?

A BBQ without the meat! A roast without the marshmallows!

Oil can be given to other fast food restaurants. Idc what i don't want is containers of oil exploding. Usually they're in plastic so they melt so its not a major issue but it needs to be checked.

Our CIA are given a key and the alarm pass code so they have time and ability to be very cautious in what is left inside.

This one did a "stick up" no hostages and lit the fire with the workers still inside. Waving a gun around

Protocol is waving a badge "this restaurant is now closed due to the proximity of the crime scene"

So we have to pay those particular employees for trauma now.

Which is coming 100% out of whoever told her not to do that shit. That she's supposed to do, as well as whatever I decide to pay her due to apparently now I hear some Jack ass running scores and thinking they know more than me. And since she code red at the store were going to evaluate what she was thinking.

And so I will continue. The oil baskets must remain uncovered and open to prevent explosions.

They can be drained to the floor but as long as they're open they don't have to be drained.

And there's a lot done for safety because of the potential for explosions.

So the point is that its an honor. Its lighting a torch. Like the statue of liberty for a bad example.

I asked George because some people walking by twisted my heart. I asked him to help me clarify. Because he would get nervous like. Antsy. So those particular people wanted to be good but they had blockages to prevent them. Deep psychological issues that stopped them.

So I asked for them to be honest and use the yellow.

This is how Mr Brooks took all his deaths and wrote his name on the topic death lists in yellow next to his colors.

It was about more money. But they had such conflict within themselves.

We had my daughter to verify character, i get so busy i like a clear mind to verify.

So like Mr Brooks was confirmed nice. "I don't like what you do but I hope you get better" Declan said and gave him a hug around his neck.

My mouth dropped open.

So our burning of buildings symbolizes the mental hell these people suffered and we continue in hope and prayer for their souls to be set free by then making a community park with freedom, free fresh food and so on.

"Freedom Parks, Miss Rosa Parks" may they find a goal worth suffering for.

And not suffering for money.

Its an extremely spiritual thing.

Its a movement like non other that has ever existed.

We got permission from most governors. When that didn't allow, we went to mayors and city council. To get permits and permission.

For Atlanta they blocked the fire truck's traffic.

I prefer fire truck on sight for community development. The sight of a fireman watering down the area around the burn site -- were not firemen we dont know how to put out a fire.

So protocol. Is watering the infrastructure around,the fire. Talk to by standers and make a community effort in being available and around and there for the community

Every now and again a certain type of not normally used full force blast to show the fire if sprayed directly (in that manner) will make the fire jump and burn higher. To show they're not stupid.

Because me? I'd be all wtf? Put the fire out!!!!

So there's a traditional way since the Black Panthers movement that it's done.

And so fire men are supposed to say "we're letting it burn out" if people ask "because it's safer" from me -.- muhaha.

Then I REALLY like firemen to let people try on and check out their fire gear and explain what happens and how they save people from burning buildings and stuff like that.

Usually i have a low key know it all lurking so he can help explain.

Its like a little carnival full of carnage.

Free food behind the fire truck and the firemen talking to people and "showing off" and so on.

That is what is supposed to happen.

We did that with black Panthers in NYC and so on. But we were extremely careful. 2 or more streets away we had a full street of vendors with food trucks and free food and drinks and some selling things very cheap like me and the shirts and candy and cokes.

Water was always free on fire nights. I was out even id the fires were not burning. And usually it was an abandoned building that wasn't fixable and wasn't historic and we built city parks. Playground mostly. And cashew trees. Nut as oppose to fruit trees Bec they're less messy than rotting fruit on the playground floor.

Sometimes white supremacy burned the buildings and then I would buy them.

That is how it started. The white supremacy began burning a building I just bought for apartments. But it burned too fast to save. I was devastated

I knew the only way to beat them was join them. Besides physically beating them in the street

But if a fire was burning they were happy. Didn't matter who started it they took credit.

Our buildings are death specific. And not many. Mostly for black men that are killed and killed by police in uniform or some how on the yellow

BUT it is A Specific Type of Person we burn for. And we burn to release their Hell. "The building is in inferno to represent Hell. Keep it out of your mind and soul and it will stay out of your life if you let it"

Then we put a Freedom Park that's community based and community benefiting to show them what they could done with the Hell on thier mind as opposed to what they did do.

Now simply Mr. Baker requested incarceration as opposed to death. He thought he could change in prison. Unfortunately he ran out of time.

Now for the officers being charged with homicide. The officers were in uniform.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

A CIA Agent could been requested

We could had a sniper. We could had one getin the car with Mr Baker and kidnap him.

What I saw was the police intervene as showing they had set him up and the kidnapping wouldn't go through because he was a set up.

It could been done in secret.

What happened was IN UNIFORM after being shot, laying down he was kicked in the head then his shoulder stood on. That is what CIA is allowed to do, not regular police men in uniform

That's why they're being arrested

Simply.

As I've ranted on, CIA has extreme protocol.

Police do as well

I fire CIA, sometimes kill.

Police must be held accountable as well.

This particular girl who started the fire will not be paid. She got cash register and safe money which is supposed to be turned in.

So we will see how far she wants to take this not following rules business

Because we don't slap on the wrist this day and age.

I'll have her ass turned in myself and tell the agency to keep the 10k award.