#like i think thats what gets me i dont believe half of these people truly care beyond a surface level social media way

[jessiesjaded]

i shouldnt be shocked by peoples naivete and yet I am.

[ph-cutie]

hi everyone i finally have something complete to say on a thing that has been annoying me for ages. the infamous evrart container crane lines

so first just off my chest the seemingly most common interpretation of this claim ive seen is that he literally just hasnt gone outside in however many years and that the crane is all hes got but i just. dont believe that

dont get me wrong i DO believe him when he says hes disabled, zero doubt about that, just not that he lives in a wooden crate with no way out. leo talks a lot about the twins' travel habits and says that ev leaves at 10PM every night, evrart himself expresses interest in hobbies like fishing (theres a fishing rod just chilling in the corner), roy claims that evrart showed up at the pawn shop uninvited multiple times etcetc. maybe the container gets moved within the harbor just to kinda shorten travels...? but like he goes out at least occasionally i think thats undeniable

i dont think whether or not the crane exists really matters though, im more interested in the first statement. i think he's speaking less about his actual life situation and more about the fact that he doesnt *have* to go out. as he says, he doesnt personally witness brutalities, he has the luxury of staying in a container. i think he truly sees it that way and i understand why. he's a martinaise man and has experienced hardship, but being half the union boss is still a sheltered life, complete with a safe and cushy workspace to spend most of his time in. the people not bound to martinaise (joyce villedrouin) leave after the tribunal/in general and everyone else just has to keep going as usual no matter what, except for evrart, who does a secret third thing: barricading himself alone in the harbor until further notice. there is a literal split between him and everyone else. hes undeniably in a privileged position and i think this line is just an admission of that, the crane is simply an additional Vrart Game that i frankly dont care to solve. ok bye (runs into the bushes)

[fictionfixations]

wasnt planning on making a post but im doing it now so uh

helluva boss the full moon episode (i dont remember which one it was. s2 ep8?? i think? idk)

(i just realized i said 'hazbin hotel' my bad. if i make a mistake like that uhh oops)

and yall are stolas defenders so im gonna talk about blitz (dont get me wrong i love both of them)

let me talk about it

(i dont know if i make any sense so oops)

notice how during stolas' proposal basically (cant help but see the gem as like a wedding ring ngl) blitz's eyes are shining because he cant help but hope

and then when he goes 'ohh youre just fucking with me right? this is some roleplay shit right?'

because its so incomprehensible in his mind that this is what he truly thinks it is.

anyway people have explained before about how stolas then proceeds to shut him out like being faced with blitz being in denial about it and taking it as a rejection

meanwhile blitz is like 'wait a second you were SERIOUS?'

and then hes like 'wAIT' because hes trying to understand. to comprehend that stolas was being real about it. that someone wants him. but then he doesnt have the time to think about it because stolas is leaving and he doesnt want stolas to leave

and yknow how blitz is hes kind of an asshole so then he defaults to being angry and frustrated. (i wonder if he feels like he'll only be heard by being angry and yelling. or if by being angry, by shutting people out and being the one to break it off makes blitz feel more in control. anyway-)

no but listen before this hes like 'what the fuck?' stolas leaves, blitz follows him in silence still in that confused and hella surprised state because it was so unexpected while stolas' talking about stuff

hes silent for awhile (probably trying to make sense of it while half-listening)

and then stolas is like 'thats enough to know what this is' and THEN blitz gets all angry and yelling

and inside hes just like. ..thats it? but its like. stolas is going to leave. and he doesnt want him to go. but he also doesnt know how to express that (especially with stolas having completely shut him out at this point in his own feeling, so set in the rejection without realizing that blitz hadnt actually rejected it. had been in disbelief instead of an actual no. and i get why he didnt stay to continue the conversation it just. sucks. so bad.)

("Can I get a fucking minute to think" got stuck in my head) and then blitz gets angry and blames stolas because thats whose infront of him. someone he can yell at and get angry which is so much easier then trying to decipher his feelings, or stolas' feelings. to try to understand. to be vulnerable especially in front of someone who he may like but its also complicated considering the power imbalance, or how all royals are asses so surely stolas cant be different, how its just a transactional relationship and nothing serious.

hes also saying things he doesnt necessarily mean meanwhile stolas is taking it to heart like 'this is how he really feels about me' when that isnt true (blitz is kind of just making excuses. and instead of being 'set free' as it might seem to stolas, it seems to him like stolas is just. throwing him away. getting bored of him. hes ignoring the love confession stolas just says 'i want you' PLEASE be more blunt about it oh my god theres so many wordings that i have an issue with from stolas im going to be honest.

like LISTEn he goes 'i want you'. blitz is in denial. stolas then starts to acceptance/resignment and blitz is like 'wait a fucking second'

so blitz who thought they were going to have a sexy time. suddenly gets hit with feelings out of the blue. and he doesnt do good with those. and its so incomprehensible that he doesnt believe it. and then basically stolas rejects him right after with blitz realizing 'wait you were serious?' and then gets angry like 'what? no, it can't be over. ..well fuck YOU then!' like. he kind of feels betrayed? like 'how dare you spring this feelings bullshit on me (and then LEAVE)'

also is he projecting? has he experienced something??? and i really dont think hes had the chance to properly process so he's just shoving it aside and focusing on the then and now. which is stolas leaving and dismissing him which blitz takes offence to and accuses him of being like all the other royal assholes. because he doesnt know how else to communicate. this is not to say that he isnt an asshole because he is, but id like to say that theres reasons to all of it.

ALSO ALSO. i think its less that blitz believes stolas to be like that but (besides reasoning to himself that stolas is just like all the others so he can distance himself and cut ties even if it hurts) that its because thats the position stolas has and so its what he turns to for insults. i had more to say about this part but i already forgot, oops.

and ive seen people talk about this too but stolas conversing through words while blitz converses through feelings. so its like for blitz youre not meant to listen to what hes saying but to listen to the feeling? meanwhile stolas being through words (thus probably feeling like 'i want you' is explanation enough while blitz needs more clarification then that)

and potentially with stolas being all horny around him cause haha my crush is here and hes hot and i love him and aaah making blitz think stolas just wants him because of what he can offer? (and maybe if hes never faced love that its unrecognizable? especially towards him?) a thought to go onto another time

also another thought to go down. you think after blitz realizes hes serious that hes trying to coomunicate. with the 'can i get a FUCKING moment to think'

and then his mouth goes on autopilot and starts insulting him trying to stall trying to get him to stay even if its with hurtful words because thats what hes used to thats what he does (also defaulting to anger)

just like yelling at him trying to get stolas to just stop walking. to stop turning his back on him.

and hes just running on anger at that point because he didnt get too long to process that stolas was serious so a part of him still thinks that its just. not real? and hes running off of that because again its so much easier than being vulnerable with someone

blitz has. probably been very trustful of someone, only for them to betray him and hurt him and use him so ahdishfu

also probably blitz's attempt at trying to get them to actually communicate

to get him to stop. stand still. stop leaving. stop moving. just turn around, face him, and talk. to get all their feelings out and explain. to clarify.

maybe he even wants stolas to get angry because that's what he's used to. wants him to get angry so they can get it all out there. maybe wants a part of him to feel vindicated of 'he was right, stolas was an asshole', the part of him that doesnt want to be close to anyone in fear of being hurt

..and then stolas doesn't react how blitz expects him to. (because they DONT understand each other at all! they don't interact all that much outside of sex, and stolas offering it to blitz is rejected)

blitz realizing 'wait... shit...' to wheres hes immediately brought out of his anger by stolas' words

'goodbye'

also it almost sounds like blitz is saying 'Stolas, wait I'm s-' as in 'im sorry'

realizing it wasnt going as he expected it to. that stolas really was serious. that stolas was hurt. that stolas was going to actually leave and blitz. doesnt. want that to happen. so then he. tries.

and then goes 'what the fuck' when he appears outside

and honestly sometimes a lot of relationships need space from each other to realize who they are without them. and also to realize how much they care about the other, yknow? to understand their feelings without anything else complicated thrown into the mix.

listen: blitz could go back into complete denial like 'no fuck stolas actually-'. realize he misses stolas, actually.

cause i feel like he really did try at the end only to get shut out (its a really complicated situation because ive also seen people talk about how blitz yelling could remind stolas of stella(?) i think the person he divorced)

and it could be seen as rejection of him trying to do feelings talk. which he could double down on his 'no one can love you, itll only bring you hurt' idea, or bringing other people hurt (as in his mother's death or fizz getting hurt)

but i feel like he also needs time to just realize things. to think things through instead of being faced with immediately having to respond because theyre talking face to face. immediately having to respond because stolas is leaving and if he doesnt say anything then that'll be it.

its complicated. honestly, though. i feel like its for the better for them to have this break. to rebuild their life without the transactional relationship. i just wonder how they'll get back together (daughter plotting time? maybe?)

i wonder if hell has therapy. (...but also. what if the therapists were corrupt and didnt hold any form of patient privacy???)

hh

anyway i dont know if i made sense. ive just had these thoughts stuck in my head so ive just been spewing out all the ones related to this so i could stop thinking about it

a;sp a;sp o hjavej oirhfrj

holyfuck ok

also also i have more to add

okay so you know stolas' line of 'you have no obligation to touch me or to bed me'

you know what that sounded like with loona having told blitz 'hes getting tired of you'

it sounded like stolas didnt want blitz to basically touch him anymore. which is probably blitz' interpretation of it and thus his anger of 'you think you can do this shit just because im an imp and youre a royal?' or whatever (hes not even touching the fact of the gem. its 'am i not good enough? i can do better!' because the book was the only reason in his mind why he could interact with stolas. and just. aghhh)

any more thoughts im shoving here in the future before i get more brainrot over this

[dvmbgvtz]

who wants another scythe rant??? am i hearing a yes😍😍 (spoilers for all books includong gleanings, also this is copy and pasted from discord so it might be a little funky)

ok ok thinking about the end of the toll because it’s SUCH A GOOD FUCKING ENDING. also thinking about Volta because I’m never not, anways the Toll first because I’ve read that book twice and it’s SIX HINDRAD AND TWENTY FIVE PAGES. And that’s, like a lot of pages, times two, SO. I think the ending is so so smart because first off, the vault, it ends all the scythes but not like ends, like it ends their jobs and the fact that Faraday still helps well the people die from the plagues is so cool and ALSO a reference to the beginning of the first book which is like my favorite thing ever it’s so smart and UGHHH also the fact that all the tonist bodies got supplanted if that’s how you spell it, AND CURIE CAME BACK. which makes me want to know who else got brought back out of everyone, I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE that the Thinderhead supplanted Volta into one of the bodies because it saw that he didn’t want to be a scythe and liked killing people and then supplanted-Volta was on Rowan and Citra’s planet and met again and it was happy because JESUS CHRIST THIS BOOK IS SO SAD I NEED PARTS OF IT TO BE HAPPY, Also Jeri and Greyson dumb little part “I’m going to miss you” “Me too” “Better go to your ship” “I’m not leaving?” “Me either” THEYRE SO STUPID, NO ONE GETS THEM LIKE ME YOU DONT UNDERSTANDDDD they’re so in love I CANT handle it and oh jdbdjsjbfjf my LORD, like Greyson not understanding the fact that “Oh! I don’t care if Jeri is a girl or boy, oh well it doesn’t matter” and he’s just actually confused about it for like half the book, also also ALSO. the Thunderhead. Because oh my god the way that it talks about Greyson makes me want to scream and cry and THROW UP because it loves him so much and spends so much time and energy and attention making sure Greyson ok, even just in the second book but especially in the Toll, then Greyson shuts it out which is so sad and the Thunderhead was so sad about it, it cried, it rained for so long then it was alone I CANT DO THIS Also in Gleanings with Cirrus when it didn’t understand how to greive because it didn’t have anything to make rain like the Thunderhead did so it dimmed the lights :(( then it was so scared the whole time AUUGHGGNGNHN anyways. But then the Thundehead was so so lonely and it’s so sad because it had never been lonely before and the book was like “The Thunderhead had never been devastated before, but it found out what it meant to be truly inconcosible” obviously not a direct quote but I can’t remember and jsbgjfbfbfh I can’t it’s litterely so tragic and the fact that I’ve cried over this book is dumb but JESUS CHRIST DUDE how does someone just write that?? I’m super excited for the show because I want to see how it’s gonna portray the Thunderhead (even though there isn’t as much of it in the first book but whatever) and UGHFBBG I can’t I quite literally can not, it might be my second favorite character because HFHFHGBG it’s so sad and so well written and the fact that it’s supposed to be this all powerful being and still acts like how it does is so special to me no one gets this book like me YOU DONT UNDERSTAND Hi!

ok so I’m not saying that Greyson SHOUDNT have shut the Thunderhead out, it was reasonable considering that the Thunderhead USED Jeri’s body and basically possessed her (it’s not cloudy) which I don’t think was talked about enough still, or it just isn’t talked about enough in the aoas community in general but there’s barely a fandom so it’s whatever I GUESS. but it was like “Greyson saw the Thunderhead in Jeri’s eyes” WHATST THATS SO COOL AND NO ONE JUST GONNA TALK ABOUT IT?? like the Thunderhead USED JERI AS A BODY, A BODY FOR IT TO DECIDE IF HUMANITY AS A WHOLE WAS WORTH SAVING. it’s so oh my god idek the right word for that scene to be honest, then RIGHTFULLY Jeri was upset about it, I mean she did fucking PASS. OUT. afterwards, imagine you meet some random twink you think is close then this all knowing AI that rules the world but its favorite person is the twink POSSESS YOU, AND JUST USED YOUR BODY TO WATCH THE SUNRISE, and also touch Greyson cheek which is technically the exact moment Cirri was made fun fact!! But then it leaves and you just, collapse then even after she wakes up the book talks about how she freaks out and flips Greyson off of her and, is scared, it scared her, and Jeri is barely scared in the book, even when the place they had been staying with Citra was getting attacked and people had died and were still getting revived, they weren’t panicking or anything, but after the Thunderhead possess them they were scared ☹️

[bubbleverseart]

Confession:

If I were someone worse than what I am today...I would had called your art trash. Of course I dont actually call it that!

...but a part of me wants to call it that, because your art style is one of the things my parents called "elementary" and "ameteur".

I just wanna say that thank GOD the Internet has delays, otherwise I won't be able to handle myself. I actually LOVE your art and your illustrations of your experiences! Makes me wish that in the future, I could transition to the boy I wanna see myself as—or any state that is not my current state.

But, for real...sometimes I don't understand why people like a seemingly simple artstyle. Not that I dont understand, but it's more related to my "bad that is actually bad" side wanting to project itself. And to add insult to your injury, you're good! But I just can't help but suffer with my inner critic (more like an amalmagation of my 'real' one and the criticism of my parents and things around me)

Thank you for showing me that maybe my art (even if its just doodles, sketches and half-finished drawings) and to an extension my writing don't have to change in a way that fits a certain standard that I dont wanna attain, and...pardon for wasting your time.

You dont waste my time ^^

Thank for your honesty, its not always easy to say what you truly think

And to answer that

First, you will get your transition, i believe in it <3

Its always a long road, with a lot of obstacles and stuff, but thats worth it, sooo worth it

You already are that boy, always was and always will be <3

And secondly, im glad to know that my art helps people in any way

That's one of the most wonderful thing about making these comics ^^

[1tsjusty0u]

stricken by questions in the middle of the night. hateno. do you have any fun facts + what does your link think of it + when did he get there and what happened

OH actually i have a few :D

ALRIGHTY!! for fun facts: on page 98 of creating a champion (you can view it for free) its noted that the people in hateno wear warmer clothes because theyre near a very very cold mountain which is mount lanayru and also it has a nordic aesthetic apparently! because of that once i. do research i think im going to make hateno based a bit off finland just for fun. or poland but poland is more of a personal thing. and also requires research. speaking of being at the base of mt lanayru youve probably seen this but theres little mountain symbols all across hateno (like on the signs, the pots, and some secret back sheds)! the mayors house is referred to as a church in the files (TwnObj_Village_HatenoChurch_A_01) for some reason, likely because it has the hylia statue. ALSO. this isnt confirmed at all but before i was researching those little stacked rocks. theyre up above the signs as well as near the mayors house. im half sure theyre cairns, stacked rocks made by humans thats usually for signalling a hiking trail. this site also sparsely mentions them + has insight into the architecture + the ancient tech labs (though i havent read a lot of it </3). anyways those may just be for fun/for visitors/decoration (i like to think its all of them) + its likely rock balancing. i Did find a site like this and while im inclined to trust it i dont think it applies here. also while prewriting the main ideas i thought there was cairns in goron city? but i cant find them so! yeah maybe theyre in totk otherwise theyre just in hateno and tarrey town. also while its raining karin i believe will read a little book thats in oots/wws opening cutscene style with a little prince in blue riding towards the castle. i think its neat but doesnt have too many implications besides possibly reinforcing some tloz games could be the same legend told over and over like a telephone game. also theres more in the second win mod but i cant play it because. not optimized at least for me. also. lots of footage to go into and i dunno how much was truly added

what does link think of it!!! i think he likes it a bit, especially the inn. its just cozy + both loshlo harbor and hateno beach are just kind of good thinking places. loshlo harbor especially, its just a nostalgic place for him. also i feel like he’d have a lot more use for his house than we’re given in game (custom photos, a journal, a chest so you can put items in to store them ((maybe food)), souvenirs (he’d have a lot of those i think. mainly stealing mugs), and also actually being able to cook in there). to be fair the champions photo being the only item we could place in links house had an effect, but i do want this to be. an actual house. also i think he’d get deja vu from being in the house and the harbor. nothing like stunting or debilitating but he’ll be cutting up vegetables or building a sand castle and for a moment a memory? or an image flashes and in that. thing. hes doing the exact same thing hes doing now. same place same thoughts . though some would be more memory flashes, those would be easier to tell as its not deja vu but . like finishing someones sentence without knowing what theyre going to actually say. and then he realizes ‘WAIT A SECOND’

i think he wouldve gotten there later than normal. miphers was done first, did a bit of traveling (partly because he. didnt know where it was despite the map). he probably got there somewhere after his 2nd-3rd divine beast. funnily enough i think it wouldve taken him a While to find lurilen and the forgotten temple. lurilen especially why would he Go There (he didnt read the signs in faron). he finally gets a house but at the cost of capitalism. once he gets the camera he goes to impa and then he takes a Long detour to get every single memory and without getting (too) sidetracked. he thought a fallen star was one once but it disappeared as it turned day so he never found out what that light was until he saw one physically crash into a hill. he actually mightve done the divine beasts before the camera and is delaying clammy ganon

as soon as he saw the house i think he rushed up to it, because even if it Wasnt his house it shouldnt be destroyed!!!! it was like there was a time limit. he panicked when he didnt have the money (he didnt sell gems or dragon parts at the time…) but he prevailed (selling monster parts). he does not like chopping wood.

when he got there there wasnt much fanfare? everybody thought he was Just Some Guy (he never wears the champions tunic, as well as never using the champions weapons because theyll break). he completely didnt see the guard guy and just. activated the shrine. he would learn of the statue through the small glasses child and would probably talk to the statue more if a heart container wasnt just stolen. if he could save scum he would to avoid the encounter entirely but because he cant he may just. let the statue have it. until extremely later and he talks to it again after years. i think hed show the fireflies to the statue. also i dont think he talked to anyone besides bolson and purah and symin. except for the stolen sheeps person + the shopkeeper. everytime hes there he will Always buy milk rice eggs etc. cooking ingredients are something hed never pass up. he would be a regular of yammo despite her traveling.

though i think he’d spend a lot less time in hateno than you think. its his home but also he likes to travel + have fresh air and places, and also he visits the champions villages more often than not. except for zoras domain unless he Needs to. otherwise he’d still be in lanayru and visit ruta but still be a bit of a distance away. he also doesnt visit goron city a lot though hes less averse to that. also i think he’d like ebon mountain, especially because its behind his house + he gets a good view. he would tell the guy there the actual heart lake location. also i think fairies spawn there at night (both locations)

i think some locations would be there pre cal but arent post cal. i have the excuse of the mayor mentioning that hateno was still built back from the ground (i can get the dialogue if you want!!) . specifically thered be this one hot chocolate place he’d go to that doesnt exist anymore. through a quest he can get the recipe and share it with the elders but yeah. maybe a library and actual church but shrugs

also sometimes i like to think a time capsule was buried in the backyard/under water. however thats neither here or there + it all depends on the au and how the story goes. he would miss his mom and have mixed feelings on his sister (they were also distant believe it or not. but that was his sister). he’d almost have the same reputation as purah for not leaving the house visibly i think and not talking to almost anyone.

also he hasnt dyed any of his clothes. theyre good enough for him 👍. pre cal he wouldve liked dying the act of dying a piece of fabric a lot

ALSO he doesnt hang the champions weapons in his house. he holds onto them and doesnt let go

one more thing: he’d make a note of picnic/quiet spots. theres one near the village but he doesnt really picnic with anyone even pre cal. he mostly just sits there

i will do tarrey town in the next bit!

[d0d0-b0i]

(SPOILER FILLED) alrighty, time for some more cohesive thoughts on prime for me (since my last one was written directly after finishing it and now its had time to sit in my brain) (long post btw, i ramble @w@)

overall, i very much enjoyed it! the animation had me positively salivating over the fact that its /actually/ using animation techniques and not just. moving characters from A to B without the time for proper stylization. the overall plot was enjoyable and i am excited to see what the rest of the season will offer.

the fact that it is only one-third of the whole season also makes me a lot more forgiving about certain flaws i found at first, like only showing three worlds and not giving the characters a lot of time to breathe. theres the very high likelihood that such a thing actually will happen, and we might even see more places and worlds, which is an exciting thought! nonetheless, going in i did not know this as i was sleep deprived and had forgotten how many episodes the season has, so i felt a little bit salty, ngl.

Devon Mack does a very good job as sonic, and it makes me feel warm inside hearing his portrayal! every actor does a great job honestly, and it truly feels like they all understand the respective character they voice act(especially considering they have to acclimate the character /and/ voice for each new world. very talented!). the eggman voice actor could use some rerecords at times honestly;; but he does a good enough job that i only notice it sometimes; and he is fun to listen to regardless, and is just a subjective thought of mine.

the different universes also intrigue me! :D i really enjoyed the first one the jungle one was interesting and had beautiful flora models, but it is with this one that a problem of mine arises (but ill get to that later). the waterworld was also interesting, but kind of boring worldwise, since its just. water. (i get that its a pirate world and thats fine! i just cant give a good description of my feelings besides just. water. yknow?)

ive seen that a lot of people think rouge shouldve been the captain in the third world and. honestly. yeah. i think we might get to see why later on? but idk. i hope they have a reason that makes sense as to why she isnt, like if the worlds stick around and dont fuse back, shed be the next captain? weh! (i do love knuckles in a captains outfit though, so bonus points for that!)

now. i only have a few “criticisms”, and although some can be attributed to not being intended for me(and i will therefore not include cus. duh), there is one thing i just cannot let slip by.

(CRITIQUE START) the issue i have is that it feels so empty. new yolk (i refuse the yoke) is populated, but later episodes only really reuse the same five models roughly multiple times and i think had at most like 30? of them at the same time, and obviously could not have had more due to budget and such (which is understandable, but that still doesnt mean i cant point it out).

the jungle episodes! THE JUNGLE EPISODES?? ONLY HAD 5?? CHARACTERS MINUS SONIC (froggy counts) AT ALL TIMES?? and even the flashbacks only show those, probably so as not to imply death but like. come on. not even a few background characters at all? am i meant to believe they will all die out anyway simply by being the last people on this earth? im sorry i just cant get over this. you can make sean mcloughlin, mr jacksepticeye, get a cameo and his own personal character model, BUT CANNOT EVEN FILL A JUNGLE WITH PEOPLE?? did i miss something? if theyd shown even /one/ bg character once in a single frame in the flashbacks, id forgive it but i. cannot. im sorry. im nitpicking but come on! this is like the only issue i have. you only have 11 of the original characters in the first place (sonic. tails. knuckles. amy. rouge. big. froggy. shadow. eggman. orbot. cubot.), and then half of them are pretty much gone most of the time.

i just. its so empty? DO NOT GET ME WRONG I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS. I DEEPLY ENJOY THIS SHOW! I LOVE THE CHARACTERS WEVE GOTTEN TO SEE !!! THAT DOES NOT MEAN I CANNOT COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING I HAD TROUBLE PROCESSING. if its gonna be a show about sonic and his friendships. where the fuck are the rest of them? is all we’re gonna get homages to their characters? (jungle knuckles was just sticks. come on now. just put her in shes already canon to the mainline games now) sega, if youre going to make a show about his friendships, why wont you let his friends be there? why can you only license 11 of your characters to the show? please make me eat my words.

and yeah you could say that the reasons others arent there (in-canon, not because of legal issues) is because they werent hit close-up with the prism shatter, but neither was big? he was shown to be down by the hills when it exploded, and i dont know if that counts considering that orbot and cubot arent even in any episode besides the first one, and they werent visible in the blast, i do not know what the blast radius would be to affect anything else. eugh. idk man. this is like the ONE issue i have, and its so small it feels meaningless. yeah yeah the budget the tight grip on characters yadda yadda i get the reasons behind it but it still affects the endgoal and i should be allowed to point it out.                                                                                                                     (CRITIQUE OVER)

that being said. i am in love with the character designs! especially a big fan of sonics gloves and shoes in the pirate world. i fuck w/ that very much <3

anyway, thats it. show good. binge it if possible! we need netflix to know that we like this. and maybe theyll realize that one episode per week for this show would be perfect (im looking at you episode recaps)

[nightmaredxydreams]

theres no way i have this.

look, heres all the proof you need. im whining about not having DID lmao

who truly has DID and does that? no. body. thats all the proof you need

people who truly dissociate suffer from it. i dont. i love the numbness from my body that experiences so much discomfort (not even chronic pain not even pain like all other DID systems have just fucking discomfort, mostly caused by autism hypersensitivity) i love the feeling of being detached from my own flesh prison ugly undesirable embarassing body. i am fucking faking im prob psycho or sum shit lmaooo

i dont even dissociate that badly. other real DID and even OSDD systems be out here so dissociated they dont even fuckin know their name and feel like nothings real all the time. i never forget my name or personal information, i just forget what i just thought or zone out daydreaming or sum shit and say "whoops! i dissociated sorry" or if im lucky, have few seconds long derealization in little few day long episodes. i dont even fucking dissociate for real. definitely not enough to have DID

i never had severe trauma. i was too disabled and shielded. fuck, the disabilities i was born with prob mimic DID. brain damage to the hippocampus, a majorly affected part of the brain in DID put two and together lmao. who knows how psycho the brain damage made me. im autistic and intellectually disabled, all people with intellectual disability are perverts they get arrested for sex crimes more than other people lmfao ofc i was hypersexual at 3 there was no sexual abuse i am too ugly to be sexually abused or even desired ofc im faking being sexually abused to make me feel better about myself lmfaooo i just cant live with the fact i was born a worthless undesirable unfuckable ugly pervert

if i had DID i wouldnt fucking remember when i was 3 who tf u kiddin

im sensitive to yelling and the least little "threatening" tone or touch or even fucking hand signal. if i was really sexually abused id be triggered by sexual shit, not the least little thing like a trauma free scared little baby

if i had DID id switch out more, especially when triggered or in situations where it would help. idk if i even switch out, i prob js fall asleep, wake up and do shit in the early stages of waking up i dont remember. instead my alters are just back there and do nothing when im being retraumatized and i have to call out mentally loudly to get any alters to respond anymore. then just trying to communicate with them gives me a headache from hell. proof enough my alters are delusions and im some psycho. most of my "alters" are just vague faces with voices and not much of identity. most of them fade away. just like delusions.

i feel like im worthless unless i was sexually abused. my whole worth depends on it for some fucked up reason. i will get defensive toward the two people i live with who say it didnt happen, they arent honest all the time but when they say theres no chance it happened bc i was too shielded even tho i have memories of being alone w him (no abuse memories bc fuck no) i believe it and feel iffy when i even wonder if i was sexually abused. when i think about any other form of abuse i suffered or trauma i have, i feel like that means i wasnt sexually abused. i have no memories of it, i never did until someone pointed out that my hypersexuality at 3 was a sign of sexual abuse so i went diving for the memories myself. then what i got were a few random half ass flashbacks to the sexual abuse. if i was really sexually abused i wouldve had flashbacks to it waaay before i made myself remember. everyone else with ptsd, did osdd etc does

other people with DID feel broken and suffer because of their trauma. they remember it somehow and suffer from the effects of it. i just suffer from wanting to have the trauma to be valid, not knowing if the trauma happened and having things trauma victims have but no memories of the trauma. the only flashbacks i have are to things i deserve, things that other people would agree i deserve and arent anywhere near as traumatizing as it can get for a real sexual abuse survivor. things that dont cause DID and rarely cause ptsd. i have cringe ass trauma. i dont have valid trauma.

i dont really have DID and i wasnt sexually abused. i just held onto the idea as an excuse for me being a worthless, born broken, jealous, delusional psycho pervert who will never amount to anything, never matter enough to get a job, marry or have a family, never mattered enough to be smart or do normal kid things because of my disabilities, never got to be cool and wont be, am trying to be cool and matter when i never will, am so ugly my body doesnt deserve love and sure as fuck wasnt sexually desired as a little kid how fucking sick of me to even want that to matter, and dont matter because of my disabilities. im sorry for faking it all. no wonder my denial was so strong, it was never real anyway. now im gonna do some major fucking harm to my ugly waste of space and resources body and kill myself. im fucking sick and tired of living in hell from my own brain torturing me saying im worthless and not valid and more i cant say here. good fucking bye.

[pixeljade]

I hesitated to post this because I dont want to distract from the genocide in Palestine specifically, but. Y'all. This current setup of conflicts could actually, truly collapse into world war 3. And i'm one of those people who rolls their eyes every time people cry "WW3!" at the tiniest conflict involving a world power. Let me explain:

So first of all, we have Israel genociding Palestine at the center of all of this. But Israel and Palestine are not by themselves, in fact, basically every nation on earth has picked a side. Mostly, the military aid is going toward Israel, because the US and UK and Canada have all been giving them as much as they can, but the Palestine side is escalating (they kinda got to in order to meet the powers against them), as we see with the ICJ case (which we get a result on tomorrow). On top of that we have the war starting in Yemen, not to mention the Ukraine-Russia war is still ongoing (day 700-something i believe), and the genocide in Congo and. Point is there's action across the globe okay, and America is involved in a lot of this shit.

Now look at it from the point of view of our global opponents. They want America to fall. They have seen how divided America is since 2016, and have been noting the uptick in anti-American sentiment amongst American youth in general. Same youth are organizing at a ridiculous scale, we have had some massive unions forming, and unions have formed the backbone of any worker uprising you can think of. Meanwhile the government is stretched ridiculously thin, trying to manage their capitalist-genocidal interests abroad while simultaneously balancing PR with the people of America AND the potential return of Trump. It wouldnt be too much of a stretch for one of these anti-America powers to start funding the worker movement here, meanwhile sending operatives to one of the many proxy wars across the planet, countering our actions.

Basically: the world is a fucking powderkeg and we only really need the right spark and tides could change. Something to consider right now actually is what that spark could look like. And whether or not it would be worth it.

I'd share my opinions on those but 1) thats potentially dangerous 2) my opinions upon this realization are still half-formed and 3) i want yall to come to your own conclusions. But. Consider it.

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

//

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

//

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

//

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

//

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

//

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

//

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

//

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

//

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

//

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

//

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[jeonqkooks]

i couldnt agree more with you! i really dont understand why everyone is so hyped over seven. i have to admit it kind of disappointed me with its shallow lyrics. and i dont understand the purpose of the explicit version? i really hate it. and i think its okay not to like every single song they put out, being an army definitely doesnt mean you have to agree with everything they say, do… but i really hope that the rest of the songs in his album wont be so shallow and i really want them to be more unique like the rest of their songs… i feel like with songs like seven you can listen to them a couple of times and then get bored (but maybe thats just my opinion idk). tbh i think jk is just trying to show us something different than what he showed us previously and i dont blame him for that. but im definitely more looking forward to the songs that he will actually write because im sure that he is capable of writing deeper and more meaningful lyrics. and even if the whole album is in english it doesnt necessarilly mean its going to be completely westernized, right? he did say he wants to try new genres… i think he just wants to challenge himself to try something new and i think a fully-english album is a part of that.

either way, i really wish him all the best because i genuinely believe he’s a bit lost and lonely without other members. to me, it seems that the hiatus definitely had the biggest impact on him? but at the end on the day, 2025 is not THAT far away and im excited for when we can see them as a group again💜 jk even said (recently) that after hiatus they will come back even stronger and i think these words are definitely worth lookig forward to💜

p.s. im sorry for such a long message🥲 i just wanted to share my thoughts on here… and i apologize for my poor english😬

if Watt wanted a no brainer song then he succeeded 😂 and yeah i don't like the explicit ver lol someone i follow here said it sounds like they only did it for shock value, which i kinda agree with. the explicit ver cheapened a song that barely had any meaning to begin with (y'all do not come after me for this. you know it's true) but i guess people really wanted to hear him say fuck 😂

true. jk is definitely trying to show a different side of him and good for him, honestly. but i don't think it necessarily reflects in the quality of the songs yk? i think this is more about presenting a new image rather than exploring the sound.

when you say just bc it's in english doesn't mean it's completely westernized, that is also true. but then considering the people he's working with, i'm not holding out much hope for that 😔

the hiatus... yeah :( they raised him, he literally spent half of his life with them and this is the first time he has to be apart from them in like 13 years. also i feel like there's this kinda pressure for them to all release a solo album before enl*sting, so idk if this also plays a part in him not taking the time to focus on His sound himself but yeah just putting this out there

do not apologize for the long message!! i love it i truly truly do. you could send me 50 whole pages of condensed text and i will still be left wanting more. i love that we can have respectful conversations about this :') and what r u talking about, your english is flawless!!

[mildew-mop]

#i hope its not weird but it was very interesting learning about your sight#i have to wear glasses#and sometimes i see spots and stuff and its annoying#those fake fix classes bullshit are such bullshit#i remember a while ago my grandma tried explaining to me that i needed to want to be able to see properly to not need glasses#i can barely make out anything more than 3 feet away from me#thats not on purpose#my grandma literally told me to eat more carrots so i didn't have to wear glasses#i cant#ableism Not weird at all! I'm glad it was interesting to read! I always say that joke from that one old contacts commercial "I have special eyes." lol my retired optometrist lOVED when i came in because my eyes are def a unique case and he told me based on my history of prescription lenses, I can detect quarter axis changes in my astigmatism. most people dont detect it usually unless it has changed at least half, if not all the way on the axis. so the fact i notice quarter changes meant that I had to get prescriptions every 6 months, but since then it seems my eyes have slowed down and i am able to retain my glasses for a year before needing new ones. I am actually due for new glasses bc my left lens' coating got messed up so there's like, splotches on the lens but i can barely see out of that eye anyway! so it hasnt been a pressing issue. i have heard the carrot thing as well many times. And YEAH SEE like some people truly believe that you have to make the decision to see, or like your grandmother, you have to WANT to see. and they will tell you even if you say youve tried everything, these coaches will basically gaslight you into thinking you just aren't trying hard enough, even if you are trying your best.

it just isnt possible lmfao I hope one of these Dumb asses actually has a vision problem one day, i wouldn't wish blindness on anyone but when their eyes start to deteriorate due to aging and suddenly they need reading glasses, what are they going to do, say no? Say that they have the willpower to see? If so, the migraines are on their part and no one else's. God forbid one of these idiots has a kid one day who needs glasses but they refuse to get them glasses because they want to try to take some sort of holistic approach to vision??? tell their own child they just have to believe to see. And force them to go through a lifetime of never having their vision checked. What if one of these people has a totally blind kid? you gonna tell them they just need to believe to see, do you know how heart wrenching it is to think that it could be that easy LOL because my eyes have had the max amount of physical surgery on my eyes and I am still half blind. The only case I have ever heard of where someone miraculously gained sight was someone who was blind due to psychosomatic reasons, but once the trauma was dealt with, they had vision again. but even in that case, if you are psychosomatically blind or deaf (hell you can be psychosomatically diabetic) it is just as real as actually being blind or deaf and cannot be controlled. Diabetic alters will actually be diabetic and may need to take insulin to maintain the body's health when other alters do not have the diabetes.

(the truth is in that case, the body is diabetic but it is psychosomatically sectioned to one alter who has to take care of it.) It only goes away if it is being caused by a particular part, or parts who work their stuff out and stop sending out psychosomatic stressors. Even then, it may not improve. Belief and willpower have absolutely NOTHING to do with the eyes and i wish these people to step off of a cliff. ... into something soft but like still.

There's a lot of people who probably shouldn't be parents.

[oonajaeadira]

You make a really great point. Like for example, I specifically disclose its a female reader in most of my fics but provide no other physical disclosures. I absolutely try to make it inclusive, but almost none of us can say we never do those things. Especially with reader inserts, we typically imagine ourselves to varying degrees and so things slip in, like physical acts of running through your hair, or inferences to a reader who may not be thin, because accident or not, most of us will include descriptors beacuse its natural to do.

I don't subscribe to coming across reader attributes that arent matching to yourself and getting angry about it, beacuse most of them aren't done in malice or to be exclusionary. You are right that if you claim the reader has no descriptions then you should be more careful about how you write it, but when screw ups happen, people need to remember that we make mistakes and gently pointing it out so we can fix it and learn from it will ALWAYS be better then storming into the writers inbox with hateful rhetoric.

I think theres a tendancy to turn annoyance into outrage and claim that it comes from an negative place on the writers side when thats not true. We write readers to be inclusive, but if small mentions of things we may not even have noticed we wrote will upset someone so greatly, maybe they need to take some time away from reading fics and learn how to cope with that frustration, rather than taking it out on the writer. If I dont give any specifications about the reader one way or the other, it doesnt mean Im only targeting one type of person, it means I am trying to be as broad as possible and when there is a standout factor that matters more than others, I'll point it out beforehand (i.e female reader, plus size reader ect)

We as writers truly do our best to be inclusive but it will never be perfect, and I think the fandom needs to take a step back and rethink the tendancy to attack for small upsets to an aggressive degree as if they are ill intended. I just agreed with your take a lot beacuse sometimes writers in this fandom arent given the benefit of the doubt.

I agree with you. Nobody does this out of malice. And, *laughing at myself* I'm going to be honest here.

Sometimes I'm just frustrated because I have an instinct to reach out and help the author do better so their fic is better received.

In my day job, I assist new producers/writers/makers of theater. I help run an organization that helps put new work out into the public eye and we actually run marketing workshops. And one of the big things we teach new producers is how to correctly market their work.

If you promise something and don't deliver, or you pull a bait and switch, your audience may get upset because of that unmet expectation, and then you know what happens? Negative reviews.

The #1 way to please an audience (besides putting out stellar content), is to set up promises you can keep and fulfill any expectations you set before them.

So half of my frustration often sits not in that "hey, you offended me by not including me" it's in that "oof, this is bad practices for your art and you should not be setting up promises you can't keep" pet peeve of mine.

At the same time, as someone that's been making art for a long time, I still make the mistakes I warn new producers about. And as a fic writer I KNOW I've done these things. I am--as I believe everyone is from time to time--a raging hypocrite!

But. I think we're living in an age where any infraction is treated as a life-or-death situation and people can get really shouty about their criticisms. I understand that it's hard to see there's an individual behind the blog/counter/whatever and that emotions can us all feel like shouting at one person means everyone who should hear it will hear it. No.

And by that same token, it's easy to believe that everyone who comes to you with shouty, mean anons is attacking you and only you when in fact, they are just hurting and want someone to know it and fix it all.

That's why I wanted to clarify my post and say more here too. I think it's worth looking at myself and trying to see WHY I'm frustrated and where it comes from. And that any time I've been frustrated with an author that promises what they can't deliver, it's not a life and death situation. They're not doing it to personally offend me. They have learning and growing to do. I have learning and growing to do.

Gentleness is key. We should--as the post that's been circling lately says--approach every situation as if best intentions are meant. And be gentle with each other.

[glitchdollmemoria]

relationship pda ramble thing

im coming up on the five month anniversary of dating my partner (not to mention the couple months we knew each other before dating), and im getting all excited about them possibly hopefully being able to visit this summer after they finish up with finals, and as im thinking about this im also realizing that i have so much more trust in them than ive had in anyone else. for about half our relationship, they havent been able to talk often because theyve been putting a lot of energy into studying. at first this made me anxious, but over time ive seen them repeatedly come check in with me when they can. especially when i think back to their behavior before they got caught up in studying for finals, the way they were able to show their trustworthiness esp compared to past partners, the affection theyve shown me, the fact that our life/relationship goals line up so well, and the fact that they keep messaging me when theyre able... theres a part of me that gets anxious and paranoid, but that part of me keeps shrinking.

the more i think about these things, the more i realize that im worrying less and less about the possibility of him being dishonest. which - its not that i have reason to think hes untrustworthy, i just have mega bpd. but things make sense in my brain for once. hes told me before that he struggles with school environments, so of course he needs to spend months focusing on studying. hes proud of the career hes pursuing, so of course hes going to work hard for it. he was the one to bring up the idea of me being a house spouse instead of working, so now that he knows i agree with that plan, i wonder if - and even kind of hope - pursuing that future together is part of his motivation.

plus, as far as ive gotten to know her, shes a very confident person who doesnt seem to keep people around out of pity. once, she made a joke about breaking up and i thought for a second she was serious, and she told me she loves me too much to break up with me, and that if she were to break things off it would be over a call. so, it makes more sense that she really is just busy rather than ignoring me, especially when like i said she does still reach out when she can and she wouldnt need to do that if she was trying to ghost me or something.

this is all just word soup. i have a lot of thoughts right now and not much brainpower to articulate them cleanly. mostly, im just excited that i have such a sense of security in this relationship, because i really do want to believe this will be a lifelong partnership and i dont have any real reason to suspect it wont be, as long as we both keep putting in the work. every time my girlfriend apologizes for being away so much, i want to just gently grab it by the shoulders and tell it how much i really truly adore its work ethic and that im willing to wait as long as it takes if it means we can someday reach the life weve talked about wanting to build together.

sometimes i think about the dream i had a while back, being escorted by angels to a beautiful towering library, and how thats sort of incorporated itself into my religious views even if im not sure what it all means. and the fact that once, during a call, she told me that even though she doesnt believe in any particular religion, her ideal afterlife would be a library full of truth. i think, if anything, its all at least a sign that this is whats right for us both right now. she doesnt know about that dream i had. its all coincidence. but it seems too coincidental to not mean anything. maybe we just have similar ideals. maybe its a sign that were meant to be together, at least for the time being. i dont know for sure. but everything feels right. and im so happy that i can look back on the way past partners have treated me, and i can look at the way my current partner treats me, and i can see such a difference in that treatment, and i can feel so much more secure than i have in the past. it makes me grateful in a way for the suffering ive experienced. if nothing else, it serves to make the difference in treatment obvious. im just glad about all of this, grateful to feel secure finally.

[achilles-the-boy-of-gold]

Okay. Please tell me. Is this too much to send to my friend? I don't know if it's too far or not.

I feel so close to you. Ive never felt this way with anyone else. We're like that trope of "more than friends less than lovers" we're different. We're special. I never believed in soulmates before i met you, but i do now. You're my person. We would find each other in every universe, wether we are friends or lovers or something else. You mean so much to me, and i know i say that a lot, but i still dont say it enough. I live you with all of my heart (and i dont care if you are able to say it back or not) Ive thought for a while that i like you romantically, but honestly im not sure. I just feel a connection with you thats more than most people ever find, and maybe thats what its like to like someone romantically, but also maybe not. Sometimes its hard to tell between different kinds of love. Its scary to be in love with someine for fear of ruining the relationship altogether and losing them. I know we are close, but i still wish we were closer. I miss you whenever we're nit together, and it scares me whener we dont talk much for a few days because i cant let you slip away. I wont. You are my whole world, i hope you know that. I could never lose you, because that would mean losing half my soul. Amd i would die if it meant saving you (and im fucking terrified of death, so youre the only one i would do that for). You are more than i ever coulve hoped to have. I never couldve seen you coming. Wherever fate takes us, (if we end up dating, if we hate each other, if we lose touch) you will still be forever with me. I carry your heart with me, i carry it in my heart. Ive heard poets talk about a string of fate, and that has reminded me ever increasingly of our invisible string. You have to admit that we're connected in a way most people arent. Maybe im crazy, but i think you'd have to be insane to not notice this stuff too. Maybe other people feel like this, but i have rarely seen anyone so truly committed to someone ekse as i am to you. The only true example i have seen is from the book the song of achilles. In the book, achilles is stubborn and rude and a terrible person for the last few years if his life. He lets countless people die because of his ego. Patroclus does not agree with any choice he makes, but he never once gets angry at achilles. He stands by him. He stands up for him. He stays with achilles, until he dies trying to fix achilles' mistakes, while still saving achilles from dealing with his own problems. However many mustakes achilles makes patroclus doesnt care, he stands by him forever. He found a boy of gold, and knew he would never let him go. Thats what you do. You find someone so important to you, and you vow that however much they screw up, you wont be angry, youll still love them the same. They are still yours. And, though achilles does most things for himself, esspecially towards the end of the war, he still dies getting revenge for patroclus' death. Those two are the textbook example of soulmates. They always find their way back to each other when they get seperated. They are loyal to each other to a fault. Their only moral compass(at least for patroclus) is to always follow the other, and fight for them. I see us in their story. Our places switch between the characters, but every set of soulmates that has ever existed has been fit in that cutout. We fit there alongside so many people. If there is only one set of soulmates per lifetine, then we are those two. We are less fragile that a set of ordinary friends, and we are less held back by the rules of lovers. We've got our own thing. You are mine, and i am yours. Ive never felt this way with anyone, and doubt i ever will with anyone else. I hope with ever fiber of my being you feel the same, but if you dont, i hope that you will trust me enough to tell me. There is so much more i could add to this, but hopfully i have a whole lifetime to do so.

[ravenveenova97]

Paldea Forbidden Fruit

Sunset mistakes

I was happily walking around the scorched trail with sky in toe looking around to every pokemon I saw "the vast amount of pokemon out right now is unreal, I don't know we're to start hehehhehe" I had my art pad in hand with a bag sling over my shoulder holding in my art supplies, I was looking around and found a nice spot by a pond with an amazing View looking out into the Paldea sea and from there I could see multiple pokemon around "well sky this looks like the spot wouldn't you agree" she smiles happily at me and nods.

I settle myself down by laying out a blanket and took off my art bag then opened it to get stuff out, I was looking amongst the things I brought and I couldn't think what I should use "hmmm i have water paints and pencils......but I also have oils too......maby I could use my coals......or my pencils" I was looking amongst them and Sky points to the water colours "hehehhehe you think I should do a water painting" she nods at me and I giggle "ok, water colours it is now.........what pokemon do chose to paint" i look around and i can see tons of Mabostives, maschefs roaming around but one pokemon walks up to me and i look into its eyes and address it "would you mind if i paint you.....Zoroark" the pokemon eyes widen as i saw through its ilution it was a Mabostive "hehehhe its ok you dont need to be scared" i pulled out some chocolate and snapped it in half and leaned fowerd handing it out to him "its chocolate, you might like it" he cut off hes ilution and reached out for it and brought it up to hes nose sniffing it, i giggled "its nice trust me just eat it like this" i broke a bit off for me and sky and we ate it to show him its ok.

Zoroark opens he's mouth and ate some and after he swallowed he's face grew bright, I took in every detail how he's eyes squinted and how he's smile carved, even he's ears perked up and did a little wiggle "heheheh see tould you it was nice, so can I paint you Zoroark" he finishes the chocolate and was licking off the remains of it off hes claws then looked at me wile giving a sweet but happy cry saying yes, I smile at him and nod and open my pad designed for water colours and started to paint him "I cant believe im actually painting a Zoroark hehehhehe" i was so happy with myself as they dont show there true form around humans due to not trusting them, but me hading out that chocolate gave him the courage to trust me "you know Zoroark, i find your species fascinating" he looked up at me as i looked down at him from the small hill i was sat on, he gave me a little head tilt like he was confused.

I softly smiled at him "I think all Zoroarks are stunning and beautiful pokemon......your eyes stand out the most..... beautiful and pure and as clear as the sea......how they shine in this light and how warm they look shows your not a bad pokemon as people make you out to be" i was painting hes fur wile i continue to talk to him "i meen look at you....your the definition of beautie and mystery.....your by far the most breathe taking pokemon iv ever seen" i was happily smiling and when i looked up i saw a glint of happiness in hes eyes.....like someone finaly saw him for the amazing pokemon he truly is.

I soften my facial expression and look at him "I mean it Zoroark.....I see beauty in this world and I see more than most don't.....I'm able to look past stereo types and see the soul for what it truly is" he eyes teard up and was smiling happily at me, i smiled at him and he walked up the hill and sat down next to me and looked at my pad and pointed at it "yep thats you" he seamed happy and i raised my hand up to hes cheek and gave it a little scratch, hes face turned into pure delight and i giggled "hehehhehe like that do we, well what about under here" i moved my hand away and strated to scratch under hes chin, this made Zoroarks leg start to go and i laughed "hahahahah dose that feel good zoroark" he was loving the attention i was giving him, after i stoped he had the biggest smile stretching from ear to ear.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and Sky handed me some water "ow thanks Sky" I turned to Zoroark and handed it to him "would you like a drink" he took the Cup out of my hand and happily started to drink it, never in a million years I thought I be sat like this with a wild Zoroark.......but it's nice.....I wish more people saw it as a stunning pokemon.....but like I said stereo types run thick with Dark types.....but I'm so happy i can be that one human that looks past that and see them for what they truly are.

I continued to paint Zoroark and I even let him do some painting of he's own hehehe, I love spending time with pokemon....it's why I chose to be a pokemon researcher....I love to make meany pokemon friends and bring there story's to light.....just like Zoroark here, time was moving on and I just finished the painting "and it's done, so Zoroark what do you think" I tilted my work to him and he looked at it and smiled nodding "hehehhehe I'm happy you like it" I had a big smile on my face and that's when he showed me he's painting, I looked at it and my eyes soften "is that me and Sky" he nods and me and hands it over for me to keep "realy....but you painted this.....dont you want to keep it" he shook hes head and waved it gently up and down for me to take, i slowly reached my hand out and took it off him looking at it with the most gentle smile iv done in years "thank you Zoroark i love it, you did sutch amazing job" he was happily crying out and i ruffled hes fur and scratched behind hes ears "and you keep Amazing me Honan" I turn my head up and I see Jacq lent over and I'm looking into he's breath taking eyes.

I end up blushing and my body shivers in nerves "Jacq what you doing here" he chuckles and stops leaning over me "I was just doing a bit of research over here, but bumping into you was a surprise" he looks at Zoroark that had its ears back sceard and Jacq kneeled down so he was Zoroarks hight "its ok im Honans friend" Zoroark looks at me and i nod, hes ears returned to natural as he's fear left hes body, Jacq saw the painting i had in my hands and he warmly smiled "did you do that for Honan"

Zoroark nodded at him still a little uneasy "I see it's painted beautifully good job" Zoroark worried face turned into a cute smile and he sat down and relaxed, Jacq moved he's hand out to scratch him under the chin and Zoroark melted "hahahah so you do like this" as soon as he said that I relised he was around even then "Jacq how long have you been watching me and Zoroark" Jacq looks at me and scratches the back of he's head "i guess from the very start" Zoroark scooched up so Jacq could sit next to me "start of what" he warmly chuckled and looked at me in the eyes "I saw you giving him Chocolate to make him trust you" I blinked a few times and all the blood rushed to my face "you have amazing skills with Wild pokemon Honan hahahhaha what other surprises are you hiding"

I look away quickly and scream internally "nothing there nothing" Sky giggled at my reaction and I felt Jacq place he's hand on my shoulder, I look round to were he put it and back up at him "you ok" I gulp a little and nod "hahahah that's good, but there no need to be embarrassed, just be yourself around me, ok" I nod and fidget a little wile playing with my hands "so did you come out here to do more of your art" I nod wile looking at my hands, but Jacq tilts he's head at me "are your sure everything ok Honan"

I was feeling my heart race a mile a minute in my chest and my body started to grow hot again, I was looking down still and Jacq moved infrount of me and placed hes hand on my thought head, I snap out of it and look up and when I do hes got a worried look on hes face "your quite warm, are you not feeling well" I'm looking into hes gentle eyes and i end up getting lost in them, it was like staring into fields of lavender...... beautiful and breathtaking.....I cant seem to look away.......there hypnotizing, i end up softly smiling as i could stair into hes eye every day and never get bored on how memorizing they are they truly are stunning, it was then the softest smile Iv ever seen on Jacq spreads across he's face, as he's eyes grow even more gentle "Honan you keep looking at me like that I'm going to start blushing" he averts he's eyes to he's side as he removes he's hand and sheepishly smiles "I'm sorry i didnt mean to" i blushed super hard and looked away, Jacq ended up lathing at me reaction and sighed "it's ok Honan don't worry about it"

I end up feeling my hands start to get clammy again and I'm starting to lose myself a little "I am sorry Jacq but...." I turn to him and raise my hands out and gently take off he's glasses "Honan?" I stear deeply into them and I smile softly "has anyone tould you that your eyes are breathtaking" Jacq cheeks started to turn a pretty pink hue and he averted he's eyes from me "no.....not really" I smile at him and hand back he's glasses "sorry I just wanted to see them better, I know there was a reason why I draw you a lot........I'm just mesmerized by how they look and how you smile....I love how the ends curl and how soft your face is when you do" my cheeks were red but I felt at peace being like this with him........even now with him not looking at me I can tell he's a softie with a pure heart.

Jacq ends up putting he's glasses back on and turns to me about to say something but he withdraws it "Jacq everything ok" he looks at me and he smiles but Its different like there pain behind it "yer I'm good....just surprised is all" I can tell he wants to say something but he's stopping himself, I end up changing the subject and stretch "well at least I won't be alone to watch the sun go down" I giggle and Jacq smiles at me again "I take you like watching the sun go down" I nod at him wile putting away my paint and pad back into the bag "yer when ever I get a chance i will go out and find some were to watch it, but so far iv not found that one place were it looks beautiful"

I zip up the bag and stand up moving off the mat then rolled it up "i see......well i can show you my favorite spot" i stand up and look up at him "really....you show me where you like to watch the sun set" he nods at me and holds out hes hand to me but he relised and laughed sheepishly "ops sorry.......I keep forgetting that I'm your teacher" I blush but walk next to him and take he's hand in mine "it's ok but I would have taken it eather way" Jacq sigs and tightens hes grip on my hand "your going to get me in trouble one of these days Honan" he laughed warmly joking about and i giggled "well nothing wrong with friend holding hands......right"

My eyes looked at him as I longed for he's touch........I can't seem to see him as a teacher to me anymore.....I guess what the girls said could be true......I do think I have a crush on him.....how could I not, not with gentle fetchers like that "I guess your right and it's not like the director be this far out given he's age hahahhaha" I let out a laugh and Jacq chuckled "well follow me I hope your ready" i nod and i say good Bye to Zoroark and we make our way to Jacq special location close to Casseroya lake, when we reached the area jacq sat down after letting go of my hand we peard out to the lake, i was stunned this view was stunning "Jacq how did you find this spot" he takes a deep breath and leaned back on hes hands "it was by accident, i was doing my research around this area a wile back, back before i became a teacher for Uva academy.......I was just checking on the pokemon in the area and I started to get a little sleepy, hahhahaha i may have fallen asleep with my research notes........but when i woke up i realised the sun started to set then........well i saw this" he looked out on the lake and closed hes eyes, he looked at peace and relaxed "this is my special little spot i come to every now and then......but there two other things that makes this location one of my treasures" i smile at him and look back out to the view "what two things are those" he looks at me and smiles warmly "the starts here at night are enchanting you can see them clear as day.....but the other thing you have to be lucky in seeing it"

He turns round and sees the sun hit the waters surface "if your lucky you might be able to see it tonight" I turn my head round and look as the remaining glow of the sun sunk into the water "but I wanted to show you the one miracle that happens here" just then as I looked into the sea I saw a hue of green and then as the sun set there was a flash, I looked at it on awe, taken in by this phenomenon "seams were in luck, we were able to see the green flash" my eyes started to well up a little and Jacq looked into my eyes and hes soft smile came back "what that the first time you saw the green flash" I wipe my eyes and look at him "yes it was.....I never thought I would see something as amazing as that......thank you Jacq"

He smiles brightly at me and pats my head "hahahha your welcome, IV never brought anyone here before.....so that makes you the first person" he looks at me and then away, my heart starts to beat faster and faster in my chest and I start to get butterflies.......I'm the only person he's shown this too........could the time be right, I move myself a little closer to him and im super red in the face "I don't mean on the lips, I ment on the cheek" I recall what penny said to me and I swallow my shyness and go and make my move, even tho im sceard right now, well I'm petrafide but......I need to know if he feels the same way.

I mean in and close my eyes and I'm inches from hes cheek, but Jacq turns round at the worst time and I end up kissing him on the lips, time stood still for us both for that moment and I felt sparks flying, I got lost in it so when I pulled way I was mesmerized for a moment but I snapped out of it and realized I kissed him on the lips, my face turned bright red and I pulled away so qwick "IM SORRY" I was freaking out and Jacq was dum founded for a moment "Honan did you just....kiss me"

I couldn't even look at him but instead I took off running "HONAN WAIT" I didn't stop running till I was out of sight and ear shot from Jacq "why did I do that" i was panting out of breath and tears started to drop from my eyes "why did i think kissing him prove any thing im so stupid.......iv messed up" i was feeling deep regret for what happened to the point I felt sick "what have I done"

That was one of the most emotional days iv experience in a while I kissed my teacher and I messed everything up.......its going to be hard being around him now.......I'm such a fool.