#like i've really only considered that i'm missing the spark but maybe i have the spark and im missing the tools

[shizuoi]

talk shop tuesday: what's a story idea that you feel is out of your comfort zone + something that feels "out of your skill level"?

there's this noir au that i've started and the more i think about it, the more and more i feel like i'm out of my depth with it. i've written mysteries before but they've been pretty transparent and functioned more as a vehicle for the characters than an actual mystery plot. the angle that i want to go at for this requires a pretty complex mystery with actual suspects and intrigue and the more i try to figure it out and fit in the plot points and characters i want, the more i feel like i'm not quite skilled enough to juggle all the things i want to achieve in this piece. it's gone through a few plot restructures already but i haven't hit that point where i fix something and it clicks y'know? so i'm struggling with that one right now

[prettyboybuckley]

seven sentences sunday

tagged by the lovely @rogerzsteven 🥰 this is a lot more than seven sentences, but I think I'm allowed after all the Sundays I've missed 🙈 also, would I be me if I didn't use this new storyline as an opportunity to write a threesome fic? Buck comes out to Eddie and tells him about his relationship with Tommy over dinner with both of them. What happens when Eddie reveals that during all his therapy, he figured out that he isn't straight either? "In theory", at least, according to Eddie.

"So, does this change anything?" Tommy asks as he diligently dries off the plates and glasses that Buck hands to him after washing them.

Buck pauses, torso half-turning towards Tommy as he looks at him. "What exactly?"

"Eddie being- Eddie being queer."

Tommy isn't stupid, and he knows that he's said that before, but he'll say it again. He's seen the way those two act together, how they look at each other. The moment the words left Eddie's mouth, he'd kind of figured that it'd been fun, he'd helped Buck figure out his sexuality, and now these two knew about each other, and a few days from now Tommy is going to gently get dumped because Buck can be with his best friend.

He needed to ask.

Buck blinks, tilts his head a bit as if he's thinking, but he doesn't look away, except for a quick glance to the stairs. Eddie's voice as he talks to his son on the phone is drifting down from the loft.

"I don't know," he answers, and Tommy knows it's honest. It's also obvious that Buck knows what he means. "I do know that I don't want it to change anything between you and me. I know it's only been a month, but I really care about you, Tommy."

Oh.

That wasn't was he was expecting. Buck sounds so earnest, though, and Tommy believes him, and it sparks hope.

"Okay," Tommy says, and he can't resist leaning in and kissing Buck, brief and gentle. "That's good, I like that, and I care about you too."

Buck has that soft, shy smile he often gets when Tommy kisses him like that, and it's a weight off his shoulders to know this isn't the end of them, at least not yet. Not all the weight, though.

"You know, you've been so good to me, and patient, helping me figure myself out and everything… I wish Eddie would have someone like that for him."

There is a tinge of sadness there, perhaps at the knowledge that by choosing Tommy — and god, is he really choosing Tommy? Or is he simply scared to choose Eddie? — that will not be him.

And for some reason, that is what puts an idea in Tommy's head. A crazy idea, bordering on insane, but-

He likes Eddie. Earlier today, he was thinking about how he'd have considered dating Eddie, if Buck hadn't been right there flirting with him, and if he'd thought he'd have a chance. Now he's thinking that maybe- maybe there is a possibility.

"What if it does change things? I mean, between the three of us, together?" he asks on a whim as Buck takes off those adorable dishwashing gloves, and Buck's head snaps in his direction. "What if we give Eddie that?"

It seems that Buck is picking up what he's putting down because his eyes widen and his gaze flickers over Tommy's shoulder to the loft and then back. Buck licks his lips, taking in a deep breath, and then he's nodding, a smile curling at the corners of his mouth.

Tommy smiles back.

tagging: @monsterrae1 @saybiwithme @loserdiaz @bi-buckrights @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @princessfbi ✨

[luvistqrzzz]

and i've seen sparks fly everytime you smile...

sparks fly— where you think the sleepy boy walking you back home is cute...

jungwon x f.reader genre: fluff, high school au, classmates to ?? wc: 0.5k warnings: none part of what shade is our love series

your footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as you quickly walked towards your classroom. you must have forgotten your notebook somewhere there.

arriving at the door, you stopped in your tracks at the sight that greets you, your stomach doing a sudden flip.

yang jungwon.

he was sleeping, sprawled over the desk, the sunlight filtering in through the stained windows falling on his face. you stood there, unsure of whether to wake him up or not.

maybe you should considering how the gates would be locked in half an hour or so and you weren't cruel enough to let a poor boy be stuck in the school for so long.

you nervously walked up to his sleeping figure, oberseving the way his face looked so calm. it was not something you saw often. jungwon was always busy with studies, student council and what not.

he was so etheral that you had to stop yourself from being creepy and looking away. it wasn't like yang jungwon was your crush. he was a classmate, a very helpful one. always willing to lend a hand, or give a smile across the hallways.

but then again, you didn't miss the way your heart raced everytime he talked to you.

'uh jungwon…' you whispered, scared of how he would react to your sudden presence. 'school is finished, uhm… get up.'

hearing the sudden voice, the boy woke up with a start. 'who- what?!' he spoke in a sleepy voice before noticing you, face to face with him.

jungwon gulped at the sight of your face, his cheeks turning a shade darker, 'Oh, uh… y/n?!'

realizing the position you were in, you jumped back embarrassed, 'y-yeah… It's time to go.'

he looked around the empty classroom to avoid any further eye contact with his crush standing in front of him, before stuffing the books into his bag and getting up and following you out of the classroom.

jungwon took in a deep breath, stealing a quick glance at your direction and mustering up some courage, 'hey..... shouldwewalkbackhometogether?' it's now or never

you turned towards him in confusion, 'erm you need to calm down jungwon.'

'should we walk back home together?' he repeated, emphasising on each word, looking cute doing so. you couldn't hide the smile that spread across your face as you gave a quick nod.

jungwon couldn't believe it. he had always wanted to talk to you outside the formal 'hello' and 'how are you' and there you were, walking beside him with a small skip in your step. you chuckled at something he said only to find him looking at you softly.

your heart sped up, 'what?' the boy turned around, embaressed, 'n-nothing! oh look, i think we have arrived.'

you looked at your house at the other side of the street, 'i'm afraid so.' you pouted, not wanting to leave him. 'we should talk m-' '-you're cute, jungwon', you both said at the same moment. your ears turned pink as the realization hit you of what you had just said.

uh oh. 'okay bye see you at school!' you squeaked before sprinting in the opposite direction.

jungwon looked at your disappearing figure in a daze. did you really call him cute?

an: if this sounds cringe then its probably because im bad in writing fluff (wow whats happening ?!) but i had a classmate!jw brainrot lmao,,, also some parts are taken from a jeongin hc i wrote in my prev acc hehe ^^!! rbs and feedbacks are vv appreciated <3!

networks: @enhanet @en-web @k-films @hyfenet

permanent taglist open- send an ask- @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu lmk if yall ever want to be removed its totally fine :D!!

[sunflowersandsapphires]

hi sapph! can i ask for a peony or sunflower for father figure!frank? it can be with lyn or amy or an oc of yours, either is fine. maybe he is defending them from something/someone? or comforting them? something hurt/comfort esq. if you want to put el in there too i CERTAINLY wouldn’t complain <3 CONGRATS ON 1K!!! i’m so proud of you!!!!

Ok so some brief lore for those of you who are not Via: El is Frank's wife in this AU and Lyn is similar to Amy, she's their pseudo-daughter that they met when she was like 15/16.

Considering how old-fashioned he was with technology, many people assumed Frank Castle preferred phone calls. Sure, he hated texting, regularly complaining about the tiny keys and constantly-expanding index of slang terms that he could never keep up with. But that didn’t mean he liked being on the phone.

Phone calls were usually reserved for urgent business. His ringtone practically gave him a heart attack, sparking a downward spiral of panic about who had been hurt and how bad the injury was.

Tonight was no exception. The piercing shriek emanating from his phone's speaker had him whipping his head toward the coffee table, book abandoned as his pulse jumped. Snatching the phone before it could vibrate off the edge of the stumpy table, he frantically swiped to answer the call.

“Hey, whaddaya need?” He asked, not too shortly--expecting to hear El's soothing voice on the other end. Instead, his ears were met with a trembling, much younger tone.

“Oh, um, hi Frank. Is, uh, is El there?” Lyn's question was shaky, her hesitation clear through the static.

“Oh,” As if the person on the other end would suddenly change if he checked Caller ID, he briefly moved the phone from his ear, glancing at the screen. “Hey, kid. No, she's, uh, she's not here right now. Out with a friend. Did ya call her?”

“I did, it went to voicemail. It's not a problem, I'll just call her later—” Despite the girl's best efforts, Frank caught a sniffle in the background, certain something was wrong.

“Sure, I mean—you can do that if ya want, kid, but I'm here now. Somethin' wrong?” Scratching at the back of his neck, he closed his eyes in a grimace as hIs blatant desperation echoed in his ears.

“It's not important, Frank, really,” Lyn protested, but Frank held firm.

“Hit me, kid.” Crossing his arms, Frank settled against the arm of the couch as she sighed heavily.

“I don't know, I was just..having a bad day. And my roommate dropped out and everyone I've talked to was busy and I...” She trailed off, sniffling. ”I miss her, Frank.“

His chest constricted, his concern that he was far out of his depth only growing as his pseudo-daughter grew more emotional. ”She misses you too, short stack.“

”She does?“ Lyn questioned, words quivering with apprehension and doubt.

”Every day, sweetheart.“ Frank answered truthfully, remembering the tears his spouse had shed after dropping Lyn at her dorm a month or so ago. ”You in your room?“

”Uh, yah. Why?“ Momentarily confused, Lyn's crying stopped.

”Give me an hour.“ Already hauling himself off the couch, Frank didn't let the girl argue, wishing her a goodbye and grabbing the car keys hanging by the door.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lyn looked impossibly small on the bench outside her building, though she puffed her chest out a bit when he scolded her for sitting outside in the dark by herself.

”I can take care of myself, Castle.“ She huffed, rolling her eyes at his protective antics.

”Yah, yah, whatever short stack, I brought ya somethin'.” He scoffed, handing her the plastic bag of provisions he'd decided were necessary.

“Oreos, and goldfish?” Lyn asked, seemingly unimpressed.

Frank shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. “Thought you might want snacks for the drive.”

“What drive?” Narrowing her eyes, Lyn looked skeptical.

“Was gonna bring you home for the weekend, so you could chat with El when she gets home. If ya want.“

Her lips parted in surprise, her piercing gaze dropping to her worn converse as her eyes turned glassy. ”Yah, that's..that'd be great, actually.“

”A'right, better get goin' or she'll beat us there.“ Turning on his heel, Frank headed for the truck, opening Lyn's door before hopping back into the driver's seat.

They made good time. The traffic was limited, given how late it was, and Lyn entertained him by switching between radio stations, critiquing his choice of music. Soon enough they were treading up the crooked staircase, slipping into the apartment as quietly as they could.

On the couch, El craned her neck. 'Oh hey, where'd you--”

Breath catching as her eyes landed on Lyn, she was up in a flash, intercepting the younger woman with a tight hug. “What're you doin' here, pumpkin?”

Lyn blushed, stuttering over an explantion. Squeezing El's shoulder, Frank pressed a kiss to her temple. ”She forgot some clothes, I figured it couldn't hurt to bring her here so I didn't miss somethin'.“

Lyn smiled at him, nodding in agreement. ”Yah, that. You ok if I stay for a few days?”

El beamed, tucking a stray lock of hair from Lyn's forehead. ”Honey, you're always welcome back home. You know that. Are you hungry?“

Frank couldn't help but smile, watching fondly as Lyn followed his wife into the kitchen. His two girls in the same place, just like old times.

[batlleonafc]

She’s a scab. She only cares about herself and what she can personally gain. She let her “friends” take the fall more than once now so she could get a world cup and continue to push that she’s the best player in the world when in reality she played like absolute dog shit and really that second ballon dor shouldn’t have gone to her in the 1st place. She’s just trying to stay relevant sorry that I’m giving you guys the truth 🤷‍♀️

Welcome to @handmeascalpel's ted talk, I'm your host @batlleonafc buckle up and enjoy the ride

Hello, anon. I've read everything you've mentioned. Do you have any evidence to support your claims? Considering that I'm reading this now, you don't. So, let me present the evidence I have. If you understand after this, great. If not, I can't stop people from forming their own opinions.

Exhibit A:

You said, "she only cares about herself and what she can personally gain."

On September 1, 2022, Alexia tweeted in support of Irene Paredes when the RFEF essentially blamed her for the players' opposition to the federation. Alexia was injured at the time and wasn't even in camp or eligible for a call-up. She was the first to tweet, sparking the revolution against the RFEF.

Ironically, on September 23 of the same year, exactly one year ago, Alexia was the first to post the Las15 statement, stating that the players wanted a "firm commitment for a professional project" and expressing their unhappiness that private conversations with the federation were leaked.

Exhibit B:

You said, "she let her friends take the fall more than once so she could get a World Cup."

As I mentioned earlier, Alexia was injured and therefore ineligible for a call-up. So her statement and email were never considered valid.

Every statement has always been posted by her first because she has a large following. She has consistently spoken out loudly and clearly about the problems. She never let friends take any fall. More proof is attached below.

She went to the World Cup because she was fit and couldn't escape sanctions, in case you forgot about them. I'd like you to tell me how many players who came back from an ACL injury immediately played well, or maybe just give me some names.

#seacabo was started by Alexia, and she took the lead for everything. It's not hard to find this evidence. Regardless of what people like you want to say about her, both on and off the pitch, you can see what kind of person she is.

Exhibit C:

You say, "that second Ballon d'Or shouldn't have gone to her in the first place."

Who do you think should have won it then? I'd be happy to hear your answer.

But since you brought up the Ballon d'Or, let me share a few things:

Official stats from the 2021/22 season:

La Liga Femenina:

- 26 games played.

- 18 goals scored.

- 16 assists.

Copa de la Reina:

- 4 games played.

- 4 goals scored.

- 1 assist.

Supercopa de España:

- 2 games played.

- 1 goal scored.

- 1 assist.

UEFA Women's Champions League (UWCL):

- 10 games played.

- 11 goals scored.

- 3 assists.

Regarding the Ballon d'Or voting, she only missed out on 29 days, equivalent to one tournament (the Euros). Nobody came close to her stats, and she's a midfielder. These stats are only for her club. Her national team stats are just as impressive, as she has been crucial in every single match, not just easy ones. She essentially surpassed her own record from the previous season when she won the Ballon d'Or. In short, she deserved it.

There's more to a player than just stats, especially for defenders. But the stats Alexia has as a midfielder are outstanding.

Exhibit D:

Finally, you said, "she's just trying to stay relevant." Sorry to say, but she doesn't have to say anything to stay relevant.

She uses her influential platform to talk about what's true and important, unlike many players. Ramona Bachmann is a good example, and even Athenea, for that matter.

I hope you've learned something today, anon. If not, good luck with your opinion of Alexia. You might just look foolish for hating on her.

Thank you for listening to @handmeascalpel's ted talk I hope you learned something today!

[bogos-bint3d]

Considering Yellow just came out, I'm curious how you interpret Justice!

YEAH IM FINALLY GONNA ANSWER THIS ASK FROM ALMOST TWO MONTHS AGO BECAUSE IM FEELING GOOD

Ok so I don't really know how to start so to get things going I'll begin with some pictures of them

I have to say, they give me SO many feelings. I originally started work on them long before I even knew what undertale yellow was. My first attempts at drawing them (which you can see in the top left that were used for reference) were done back in June, but I was planning things for them several months before.

I remember them actually being pretty much the very first fallen human who I felt motivated to make something with, because I saw a comic of someone's own interpretation of them. I noticed how in that comic, they went to Mount Ebott intentionally, for the other humans or something, and that was sort of the beginning of my inspiration, but I felt like I could do more with it. So, starting off with that I kinda built on it. I wanted to do something different from what I'd seen before, where they wanted to get justice on the monsters FOR hurting the humans. I remember someone saying something along the lines of them thinking justice was a little bitch, which of course was a valid interpretation, and that's what made me sorta go in a different direction.

For me, I saw justice as someone who would've wanted justice for the MONSTERS, from the very start. They were the kind of person who didn't really believe the legend of humans and monsters, but of course knew Mount Ebott was a very dangerous place. And, yknow, believed monsters were just a legend, they loved to think about the fact that if monsters WERE real, they were probably trapped unfairly. Think about Chara for example. Though they were human themself, they still hated humanity, and felt connected to the monsters. They wanted the monsters to be free and to go against the humans. I imagine justice to have been something like that. Not as much hatred for humans as Chara maybe, but still knowing of all the bad that humans had done, and, being an edgy teen, felt genius for the concept that this ""old """"silly"""" legend"" would probably have been biased in favour of the humans. (which they were actually right about. Good for them 👍🏾)

Am I explaining this correctly? I'm not sure if I am lol

So anyways, yes my justice interpretation very much did not want justice on the monsters once they discovered the legend was true, but rather was very much on the side of monsters getting justice on the humans.

Let's see, what else is there... Ah so as I was explaining before, seeing that comic also sparked the idea for me that they went there looking for someone. They'd usually never even get near to Ebott, however, they end up having to. Ok this part is like it's own separate infodump so like take a breath. So this all ties in to one of my other fallen soul interpretations, integrity. I won't get too into them right now because that is like a WHOLE OTHER CONVERSATION, so for now I am going with the BARE ESSENTIALS. Justice went there specifically to go look for integrity, because in my little interpretation thing, they're siblings. I'll show some quick things about them then straight back to Justice I prommy

Their name is Leo (I don't have a name for justice yet I'm so sorry Leo is like the only human I've named so far), and ended up on Ebott after a stupid dare by the rest of their ballet class. So anyways after justice finds Leo is like. No where at all. They have to go on over to Leo's dance class cause that's the last place they'd been and ask around the other kids to find out where their 10 year old sibling was because they'd been FUCKING MISSING FOR LIKE SEVERAL HOURS only to find out the other kids left them on MOUNT FUCKING EBOTT, where multiple other children have all DISAPPEARED upon going there. So now justice gotta go to death mountain to find their lost sibling no big deal

I feel much more nervous about talking about my fallen soul interpretations now than I would've, like, four months ago, simply because the presence of uty has had such a grip on the fandom that people have kind of accepted it as canon. I think it's actually a really stupid and petty thing to mad/sad about, because a lot of effort was out into it, and I'm sure it's very very good, but I just, well I guess we all just whish we were the best, right? I'm scared yellow will completely overshadow any other existing interpretations, and people love it so much, they won't care about my own. I REALLY hate myself for this, and I just want to say I think you should all keep loving yellow! It seems really good! This is just my own dumb fear shining through haha

But anyways, enough of that! I'll explain more about the souls another time because if I keep going on right now I might become physically incomprehensible. There is so much more about justice that I'll dump on you all another time, trust me, I just hope you all like what I've got so far ❤️ thanks :)

[ambrosiagourmet]

Feel free to ignore this, but I love reading your analysis and was wondering how you start analyzing things? I try to do it myself but I always feel so unconfident in my interpretations and feel scared about posting about them and them being “wrong.”

Just curious to see how you approach your analysis and meta! Have a lovely day!

Ooh, what a good question! I'm happy to share a little, sure.

Under the cut bc it got long hehe 😅

So my first (and probably the most important) response to this is: it's hard to feel 100% sure that you are totally "correct" about this stuff.

There are always going to be other ways to interpret things. There are things you miss, or perspectives you don't consider. There will always be people who disagree. And even if you are as accurate and totally convincing as humanly possible, there always going to be different types of analysis that you can't cover all at the same time!

I think, especially when it comes to like, doing casual analysis for something you love, it really helps to just follow your passion. It's fine to speak confidently about an interpretation that you find compelling, even if you haven't considered every possible angle of how it could be wrong. It's about what speaks to you, after all.

For instance, the conflict-avoidant Falin post (which is currently the analysis post of mine with the most notes) was largely born from an interpretation of Falin that really resonated with me, based on a couple of points I remembered strongly from reading the story. It's definitely not the only way to look at Falin, and I don't think it's like the universally correct interpretation of her character. But it is the interpretation that got ME interested in talking about her, and in turn, resonated with other people, too!

I have plenty of anxiety about this stuff, so I won't pretend that it's just easy to turn off that "what if I'm wrong, though" part of your brain, but I will say it doesn't hurt to try to start writing. You can always draft a post and come back to it, or delete/private it, or reblog it later to add more context or nuance. You aren't shackled to your opinion forever, much as the internet (and anxiety) can make it feel that way.

As to where to actually start with analysis... for me, it's almost always either a detail, a question, or both.

Here's an example of an Idea In Progress I've been thinking about.

While I was grabbing screenshots from the Nightmare chapter, I noticed that Marcille's hairstyle there is similar to one of the chapter covers I'd also just looked at:

So like, that's interesting to me! Especially since the cover was from the chapter where Marcille makes her deal with the Winged Lion. So then I can start to ask like... what does it mean that there's this similarity? I could tie it in to the way I think the Lion kind of infantilizes her, talk about what influence the Nightmare chapter might have had on Marcilles decision. Alternatively, I could ask, are there any other similar times Marcille wears this hairstyle? Any other hairstyles that are repeated at key times?

Any of which could lead to some fun analysis! Alternatively, it can also just be fun to post about the detail without the analysis. Just be like, "hey, look at this weird thing." Other people might chime in with ideas about it, or maybe it will sparks something for you later! Either way, you'll have an easy reference saved for reference. Even if deeper analysis doesn't come, it's still fun to have pointed out. Details and connections are just. They are just great. And Dunmeshi especially has SO much to dig into.

(Oh, also, quick aside here: ignore anyone who tells you the details don't matter and weren't intentional. It fully does not matter. If drawing a connection helps you realize a new meaning in the story - if it inspires and motivates you - it's worth investigating.)

Anyway, the Adventurer's Bible is also a great place to find details to jump off of. The timelines and little blurbs highlight important events or facts about the characters, and you can then go fishing for other times those things come up or are referenced in the story.

In terms of starting from a question, it can also be fun just to spend a little time with something you don't feel like you totally got. I had a great time doing that with the succubus chapter, for instance. If there's a scene you find yourself kind of skimming over because its not clicking for you... go back and try and examine it! Even if it's just a small thing - an expression you missed or a panel with a funny little joke - it can be just as rewarding to try and pay attention to the parts of the story you don't understand as it is to dig into the parts you do.

~

Really, in a lot of ways, I like to use analysis as an excuse to just spend time with a story I care about. It's a way to savor it! And if you can write up those thoughts and ideas, you can share them with others, which can be even better. A dish doesn't have to be perfectly cooked to delicious, after all. Go, with Senshi's blessing, and make good food.

And of course, as with all things creative, never forget about Two Cakes:

[perverse-idyll]

Thanks for tagging me, @danpuff-ao3! <3 And it's so good to see you talking about your fics again. I love your thoughtfulness about your work and the whole writing process. (And I love your work itself, of course.)

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

This comes at an odd time for me because I feel very disconnected from my fic and deeply unimpressed by it. Every time I open the current chapter I'm working on, I think, "What an absolute slog." So maybe focusing on what I love (or remember loving) will rekindle the missing spark! Plus it's been umpteen weeks since I last posted here, and it would be good to show signs of life. (I'm not giving up on writing or my OTP. RL just kind of saps the will to live sometimes. Experience tells me this too shall pass.)

Tagging anyone who wishes to celebrate their faves because I'll be poking at this while at work, and it may take me hours*. *days, as it turns out.

I actually don't have that many fics, which is embarrassing, considering how long I've been in fandom. The same handful just keep cropping up. So I'm going to be really aggravating and mostly talk about WIPs:

The Afterlight - the Snape/Harry WIP I'm currently working/ intermittently fixated on. It's got a serial killer subplot that still hasn't kicked in after 52K words and a Denial of Feelings dysfunctional romance heavily influenced by the fact that both men died in canon and forever after have to live with that knowledge. (Here we have the author's perpetual Denial of (Snape-ish) Death on full display 😉). The fic features disillusioned!Harry, an offshoot of the angry!Harry who often turns up in my work, alongside a Snape whose feelings, whatever else they may be, are typically obsessive to the point of self-sacrifice. They fight a lot and fuck a lot and at one point Snape takes a curse for Harry. Hurt/comfort as courtship! Probably my schmaltziest ending ever, and quite likely a narrative mess, but it's got its hooks into me so I really want it to turn out halfway decent.

Year of the Thestral - the only non-WIP here, a Severus/Minerva fic I had on the back-burner for years and finally finished. It uses a dubcon relationship as a lens to examine the damage done to - and price exacted upon - all and sundry during Snape's year as headmaster. The conceit involves Minerva at the end of her life reminiscing to a biographer, finally facing the memories and meaning of Snape's actions, the layers of betrayal and inevitability of sacrifice, and the furious despair that lay behind Severus' treatment of her. It offers the possibility of forgiveness and even retrospective love, and is woven throughout with femslash feelings. For me, it's a meditation on the punishing aspects of Snape's agreement to play the monster, as well as a character study of McGonagall, undertaken as a tribute.

The Blood of Stars - possibly my favorite of my current WIPs, put on hiatus in 2014. It starts with Snape basically being kicked out of the afterlife by Dumbledore and Lily and discovering, as he searches Hogwarts' post-battle wreckage, that he can't speak to Harry. Literally, no words. Partly in retaliation, he commits an act of heartache and cruelty that affects Harry's marriage. But he also reappears at desperate moments in Harry's life to provide help. There's much to-do over an underground prison, a mutual fascination despite their problems communicating (although one might suggest that Snape's inability to tell Harry what he thinks actually improves the situation), two dramatic death scenes, and more afterlife shenanigans. It also has what may be my favorite ending for any fic I've written thus far, and I'm determined to finish it if only for those scenes alone. Oh, and it's my version of horribly romantic. Also, hubris: the entire middle section is written in first-person Harry POV, which I know will take out a chunk of my potential audience, but I wanted to try something I'd never done before. Anyway, it's next in line once I finish The Afterlight (yes, I know, how many years will that take? But hope springs eternal).

Impossible Without It - another Snarry WIP put on hiatus in 2014! Ah, I was so full of ideas then and struggling not to let the bastards get me down. Well, I haven't given up on this one, either. It's another angry!Harry fic (I do write optimistic!Harry, but really, none of my Harrys are well-adjusted). In fact, it's a memory-holed Harry who can't recall killing Voldemort and an amnesiac Snape who works in a Muggle gay bar. The story is told partly through their sexual addiction to each other, fueled by secrets and lies and out-of-control hunger, desire for vengeance and of course the question of what really happened the day Voldemort died and Harry lost that moment in time while Snape forgot crucial parts of who he is (like the fact he's a wizard). They don't treat each other well, but they become so bound up in their obsession they can't let go. Eventually Harry discovers a way to restore Snape's memories, and Snape makes him regret it. Believe it or not, this one has a happy ending! Well, depending on whether you think a rather fucked-up relationship can be described as 'happy.'

The Threefold Death, or: The Lost World (long version), Snarry, WIP. I was originally going to choose When the Rose & the Fire Are One, but I've singled it out often enough that at this point I'm not sure what's left to say. I had Threefold Death hidden in a collection for a while because I couldn't stand to look at it, but that didn't help so I've removed it from its cage. I'm still haunted by a lot of the scenes, and I love fooling around with fairy tale imagery. I also like playing with ambiguity: how much of Snape's love for Harry is his own and how much is the Forest using Snape to draw Harry into its clutches. Ditto Albus Severus, the third in their circle/cycle of debts and devotion, who can't stop setting off tragic consequences despite the best of intentions. (Well, maybe not the best.) The POV in this one starts with Harry and switches to Al, partly because I'm a sucker for outsider POV and partly because I want to examine Al as a mixture of Harry and Snape, neither as loving as his father nor as ruthless as his mentor and therefore the weakest link in this Game of Three. But it is ultimately his love for them both that closes the circle, and he's the one who ends up losing the most. (Sorry, Al! Even if it's partly your own fault.) And this is another ending with lines and images I'm rather proud of. Also a ton of bittersweetness. Ever since I hauled it out of storage, I've been having all sorts of daydreams about character moments, so this fic is definitely simmering again.

[pseudocyance]

OC LORE TIME LETS GOOOOO

I spent all afternoon on this lmao

This is my watcher character Codex! I've drawn them a few times but it's already 11 and I need to sleep so I'm not going to link it rn

This is the only writing I've done based on them and this is their escape from the watchers.

Cw for death, murder(?), manipulation

Word count - 976

@aurum-the-yapper I really want you to see this :D

-

The lava hissed below them as they sprinted across the bridge. It was a less than favorable method of transportation but there was no alternative. Codex needed to get out now.

They had been collecting obsidian for months now, scrounging up every scrap every moment the magic brain fog cleared to make the portal here. Some poor soul had made this bridge, possibly a previous student making an escape attempt.

“Shit-”

Codex tripped, their hands flying out to keep themself from falling off. They fell to their knees and scrambled to stay on the bridge. The lava was only a few feet away and the sizzling heat licked their skin.It took a few seconds of frantic grasping at the netherrack, but Codex got a firm hold on the bridge.

I can't stop, I don't have time to stop, I need to keep going. Keep going, idiot.

They pulled themself up and kept sprinting. Through the nether fog and smoke, they could make out the shape of an island ahead.

Only a few more steps. Then you can find a new portal to go to the overworld through. Or make a new one! You have enough obsidian. So… Close…

A piglin dropped down in front of them from a ledge. It clutched a crossbow made of a deep red wood.

“Ah, hello! Um, I need to get out of here, like, now, so if you can move that would be great.”

It just looked at them, with its soulless white eyes. Codex was glad that the eyes were not a trait their piglin heritage had given them. Instead they had gotten the pink skin and small tusks. They had no idea what their eye's color had been before becoming the distinct purple of the Watchers.

“I would really rather not hurt you, but you are between me and getting away from this lava so it might have to happen.”

The piglin tilted it's head to the side. Codex wondered if it could understand them or if it was just considering whether to shoot them into the lava. Or both.

But instead of raising it's crossbow, it stepped to the side and pointed to a nearby cave.

“Thank you? I think? Thank you for not killing me, Mx. Piglin.”

They started running again, this time towards the cave. Any directions, even from a feral pig monster, was better than nothing.

Don't refer to your ancestors that way.

Codex shook off the guilty feeling and slowed down their running. The cave was widening and going downwards. The temperature was rising with every step and Codex had the feeling that if they broke any of the walls, lava would come pouring in.

Why had the piglin told them to go this way? What was down here? A deep rumble shook the ground.

“Oh voids, they're here.” How had they already noticed they were missing?

Codex started sprinting again. The heat was becoming unbearable and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

A flash of purple in front of them made them screech to a stop. But it wasn't their pursuers. It was a nether portal.

Finally. The exit. I'm so close. When I get to the overworld, maybe I can find a player to help me get to a new world.

They stepped towards the portal and reached towards the swirling surface.

“Codex,” a voice behind them rasped. “Where do you think you're going?”

They whipped around, tail flipping angrily.“Get away! Leave me alone! All you've done is hurt me, and it is my right to escape.”

The blue skinned Watcher sighed at them with a bored, slow blink. “Kid. You don't know what you're doing. Come home and nobody will get hurt”

“I've already been hurt! Everyone there is hurt! Plus, that place has never been my home.”

“Fine, then.” In less than a second, Thane raised his hands and clapped them in front of him. Purple sparks radiated from his palms and the cave began to shake.

“You're going to kill us both! This is going to cave in, and I'm the one that's closer to the portal. You'll never make it out alive!”

“Codex… did you really think I was stupid enough to come here myself? I would never risk my life on something as insignificant as you.”

A fissure cracked through the roof and lava began pouring in. Codex stepped backwards towards the portal, not wanting to take their eyes off the Watcher.

“This is your fault. You shouldn't have left.” Thane's figure wavered. Codex thought it was heat waves at first, but then the older Watcher shortened in height. His skin turned from blue to a pale peach and his purple waistlength hair turned to white bob.

“Where am I? What happened? Why-” the human began screaming as the lava approached her.

“ROSE? Why are you here? Come here! We can escape together!” She fell forward and started to crawl towards Codex. But the lava was too fast. It oozed towards Codex's classmate and began to swallow her.

Codex would never forget those screams as they backed into the nether portal. They would never forget the expression on Rose's face as they left her. They would never forget the smell of burning flesh and feathers.

As Codex tumbled out of the other side of the portal, they felt an excruciating pain coming from their forehead. The searing pain caused them to curl up into a ball and reach for their head, only to discover horns protruding from what used to be smooth skin. Probably yet another mark from the Watchers, claiming them as a member. The pain continued to burn for what may have been minutes, hours or days.

When it finally cleared, Codex opened their eyes to see a sunrise. Orange light flooded the forest they had tumbled into.

“I’m… free.”

[visualtaehyun]

BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

Thank you for tagging me @twig-tea 🙏 I read your post and the questions while going Ohhh interesting but when I actually tried to answer them myself, I realized that I'm usually pretty positive about the shows I watch or else I just move on from them. Most of the time, I don't fault characters or a whole show for being bad anyway, it's more the writing/script, directing choices, or editing that I tend to have gripes with.

So! Of the entire 22 original questions (by @clara-maybe-ontheroad), I'll only be answering a handful. This will also only be about Thai BLs because they make up the vast majority of QLs I've seen.

1 Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL

My knee-jerk reaction was "Never Let Me Go country song NC" lmao but then I went to rewatch said scene and it barely stood out to me. So after re-thinking I'll have to nominate two shows: Dangerous Romance and Until We Meet Again, for basically the same reason.

Chimon's OST สายลม (Wind), which I actually fell in love with when it dropped because Chimon's voice was such a pleasant surprise, is being entirely overused in DR, to the point that I'm starting to tire of a song that I actually like. Honorable mention: The completely random and unnecessary stage performance of Perth and Chimon's ซบกันไปนานๆ (Sunset) in ep. 5. Was it not enough to have them sing and vibe to it in the car earlier in the same episode??

Similarly, UWMA's OST is either entirely by one guy or entirely one song but it sure was grating on me, my patience and my enjoyment of the show. P'New series are already hit or miss for me but that singer/song/OST had me so fed up.

5 Worst plot line

The first show I ever dropped was Star In My Mind which is ridiculous considering how short it is. But the entire premise of Kluen being unable to open his goddamn mouth frustrated me to no end. I did pick it back up again at a later point though, so I could watch Sky In Your Heart and indulge in the JoongDunk cuteness from there on out.

7 A show people love but you find bad

I'm sorry to say but- it's Vice Versa. It was one of the first Thai QLs I watched along with as it aired but ultimately I gotta say Oof. It has a fun premise, the cinematography is super nice, and it's genuinely sweet. But the amount of product placements was staggering! I also just didn't vibe with JimmySea's chemistry, they just gave too much Friend energy for me to find them believable as a couple. They're not the only ones or the only series where I didn't really find the spark but that's not a Them problem. That's a me 'Needing my fictional couples to be head over heels for each other for my acespec ass to see/experience the attraction and connection' problem lol

8 A show people find bad but you will defend

Cutie Pie! And I will die on this hill, @twig-tea 😂 It has everything I love: good production quality, good acting, tangible chemistry between the couples (see last question lol), complicated emotions, push-and-pull between the romantic leads, a dedicated cast and crew, a great OST, I'm certain I'm forgetting a lot of stuff but there's just so much I love about this show.

At its core, it's about two people who turned themselves into the versions they think they should be for each other, based on their upbringing, expectations placed upon them, status differences etc. and how they learn to be honest with themselves and each other.

I've re-watched this show a number of times, each with different levels of Thai proficiency, which made me consider that this show might've been such a hit in Thailand but not as much internationally because there's maybe a language and trope/culture barrier here? On my first-time watch, I knew no Thai and was largely unfamiliar with what tropes are common in Thai romances and such. At the time, the show didn't hit me very much, I struggled to make sense of that pivotal fight in episode 1, I enjoyed the singing, it was mostly just a nice romance. On my most recent re-watch a few months back, I had reached the point where I could follow a spoken conversation in Thai as long as there were translated subs to guide me along. And suddenly the full weight of episode 1 but especially the fight at the end, setting up the central conflict, hit me and I realized: Oh wow! This is good writing! Introduce your characters, their backgrounds, their goals, and the show's core conflict and that's how you hook viewers.

This has already gotten long enough but I wanna mention how much it means to me to have this show not just call for marriage equality repeatedly but also to have them shout it out to the world by having their mlm couple fully make out in what is arguably one of the busiest corners of Bangkok - Siam Square! More specifically it is the area with the fountains between Siam Paragon on one side and Siam Center on the other, and the skywalk (that connects the various malls in the area) as well as the central BTS station Siam both overlooking that space. It's also called Parc Paragon, there's frequently events there, and it is busy as all hell!! And they not only cleared it for filming a lengthy queer kiss scene but, in the show, the huge LED/ad screens are used to project pride colors, a call for equal rights, and a queer marriage proposal in plain view of the entire square!

If you've never been to Bangkok, I beg you to look up photos, via Google Street View or the IG location tag for Parc Paragon so you get an idea of what I'm talking about. 🙏 (this isn't the only busy prominent location they used btw but djdjhdjsdj let's not write a whole damn essay here)

10 A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated

Dinosaur Love - I watched the first episode, excited for Tonnam and Pepper, and found it charming with its low budget, pink-filtered tropey-ness. Except I quickly realized that this show was Actually Bad. The framing and blocking were often a big question mark to me. The pink filter and the background music got annoying quickly. The acting was subpar. At some point in episode 2 I started questioning if they ever even did more than one take per scene. There was a panning shot involving a mirror where the crew is just fully visible in the reflection?? Suffice it to say that I dropped this show like a hot potato when episode 3 very suddenly and very graphically had a side character self-harm. Squicked me out like nothing before, moving on!

11 A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny

I mentioned this already but I'm on the aro/ace-spectrum (...somewhere, don't ask me specifics lol) so I don't really watch shows for horny or eyecandy reasons. If I don't vibe with the characters or dynamics then I won't even perceive them as sexy, to be honest.

12 A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character

Why R U (the og Thai one), I guess? Everyone who's seen it probably knows that the production and filming suffered because of Covid so I wouldn't hesitate to call this show bad on that basis. I set out to watch it because I wanted to see more of Zee Pruk's acting, in another role, after having seen Cutie Pie. And Fighter ended up being most of the reason I stuck around till the end. The nuanced struggle with his own sexuality was so well-portrayed. Tutor is a very memorable character as well! And I'm entirely 🥰 about Hwa, she just perfectly fits this character archetype that I will always, without fail, completely adore.

21 The show that disappointed you the most

Most of the time, I either don't have big expectations or I let go of them quickly enough once I get a vibe for where a given show is going. The closest thing to 'disappointment' would then probably be all the shows that I kept seeing being recommended and hyped but that didn't leave a lasting impression on me after watching, like KinnPorsche, Love Mechanics, Manner of Death. None of these are bad OR disappointing and there's things I genuinely enjoyed and liked in them but ultimately I just didn't Get why they're so popular. I'm sure part of it is to do with me not having been around to follow along on a week-to-week basis but watching them long after they were done airing, basically in a vacuum. But alas!

I don't know how you managed to do all 22 questions, Twig Tea, when this fraction has already taken me like five hours 💀 Passing this time-eating curse on then to @airenyah @cangse-sanren/@zeesqueere @sadwetcatray @sorry-bonebag @telomeke @thegalwhorants @pharawee I'm sure this tag is making the rounds so some (if not all) of y'all have probably done this already. If anyone I didn't tag reads this and wants to play, feel free to tag me in it, I do enjoy reading hot takes and impassioned essays lol

[esper-game]

I love Esper so much so far, and I'm so excited to see what you do with it in the future! Genuinely, I'm obsessed.

Also, I was wondering how the ROs would react if MC went missing for an extended period of time like 2-5 years, maybe, without a trace, or saying anything beforehand and ended up reappearing in a 'Winter Soldier' situation? (Metal/Vibranium arm included)

Since the ROs are kinda authority figures, I feel like they would know quite a bit of info about the situation, but it would hurt/hit even harder once they learned it was MC

Hope you have a good day :)

Hello there! I am infinitely sorry about the wait on this, I've been busy, overwhelmed and just not very motivated!

Thank you for the kind words! I'm equally as excited to share the story with you all!!!

(Sorry if this isn't super accurate, I had to look up what that was!!!)

L: They'd done their best to move on. To be a 'good' agent. To forget. But part of them always hoped MC was still out there. They didn't blame MC for leaving, they just prayed they were still alive. But they never expected this. All this bloodshed, all this fighting. All of this for it to be MC. They must be dreaming. But in all their other dreams MC welcomed them with open, loving arms. In this, the only welcome the got was a strike from MC's new arm, cold and unforgiving where there was once warm flesh. This is frigid, harsh reality.

S: Never, not even once had considered MC was dead. They hadn't allowed themself to even think of that as a possibility. Never did they give up hope, never did they stop searching where they could. But life went on, and there were only so many stones they could turn without losing anything else. But maybe if they had poured everything into finding MC this wouldn't have happened. Maybe then they wouldn't be standing in front of someone half the person they once knew and loved. Maybe then they wouldn't have to fight against someone they should be protecting.

I: It hadn't been easy. Not at all. But they had accepted MC was dead. They had mourned. They had tried their hardest to move on. So to find out they were alive after all this time? A shadow of their former self, missing an arm, no more than a weapon to be used against them, but alive. It crushes them. Deeper than the knowledge of their death. They feel so many emotions they'd repressed over the years. Relief, heartbreak, grief and guilt. But they must remain detached. They can learn to accept this new reality as they accepted MC's death.

V: They'd never been the same. Giving up hope for MC's return felt like giving up on MC. But holding out for the impossible only hurt them. They were torn. Every night they lay awake, mind running back over the day MC went missing, searching endlessly for closure, or a clue as to what really happened. But for all that ruminating, they never once envisioned this. MC's arm wasn't the only thing they'd lost. When their eyes met, there was no spark of love, not even a flicker of recognition. Their gaze was cool and empty. And that hurt much more than anything else.

Again, thank you for waiting xx

[pokerninja2]

This is my banner for my Twitter account, and I decided to (temporarily at least) make it my tumblr's as well! The Sparks of Hope one was mainly just a placeholder until I got something more appropriate set up. I plan on making something new for this account, mainly because this one doesn't fit the dimensions of a tumblr banner, but I think it's good enough to leave as for now.

I haven't talked about my OCs outside of Pearl on this account, so I suppose consider this the "introduction to my OCs" post. I've had all of these girls since 2017 (or later in some cases) and I love them. They're my babies! A lot of my followers on Twitter like them as well, which I'm very happy for. While I wouldn't say they've made a huge impact on my life or changed it in any significant way, drawing them has generally made me a happier person over the years.

This particular piece of all my girls (except one who I came up with after the pic was made so she missed out, maybe next time!) taking a group photo together is probably the one I'm most proud of. I've never really drawn them interacting together despite really wanting to, and I'm very happy with the end result! It's definitely inspired me to do more stuff with them in the future.

Anyway, now I wanna talk about each one!

I already posted about Pearl a few times on this account but I think it's only fitting I start with her, considering she's my mascot and all. She's always been my go-to to draw whenever I wanna do something like a seasonal drawing or event. She's also been my pfp on everywhere aside from discord occasionally, so chances are if you know me, you're familiar with her.

A little girl like Pearl needs little friends, which is something she has in droves!

All six of these girls were made at around the same time, both so she'd have a friend group and so I could make even more characters and worlds that fit into the Mario universe. Obviously, Belle, Brooke, and Brittany are a closely-knit trio, and they're ones that I tend to use a lot alongside Pearl.

I've also been using Squishy more too. She was retired for a few years before I brought her back and came up with the idea that the girls haul her around (or she hauls herself around) with a wagon. Then I loved her even more!

I regrettably don't use Sarina or Diamond very much, which is a shame because I think they're great designs. I just don't think there's as many good opportunities to use them compared to the others.

Following them is Kia, who I made a few years later. While she technically falls closer to a Donkey Kong OC than a Mario one, I'd say she counts enough! I think my reasons for liking her are pretty self-explanatory - a cute Kremling who was abandoned by the rest of her people and taken in by the Kong Family, becoming an ape in everything but blood. She lives with the Kongs on DK Island so she doesn't get to interact with Pearl and friends much, but they're definitely friends!

And last but certainly not least is the character I made after I made the banner, Rabbid Pearl! As the Rabbids are supposed to be extreme parodies of the character they're portraying, I thought it would be fun to do the same here. Pearl is nice, friendly, and outgoing, while Rabbid Pearl is so friendly she will trap everyone she meets in a hug and make them her new best friend! She has no concept of personal space, so she can be a bit of a hassle to deal with. She was originally made as a one-off joke when I was caught up in Sparks of Hope hype. But then I fell in love with her, and decided to just make her a part of the friend group anyway. Next time I do another one of these group shots, she's definitely going on there!

If you've read all the way down here, then thanks for letting me ramble on and on about my girls. I love them with all my heart and I love using them for art pieces. Hoping you like them too!

[marshmallowprotection]

So I've been thinking of asking you for a match-up for a while now, but I never got the nerve 😭 I am really curious what characters you'd pick for me though. Idk if you do boto romantic and platonic in one ask, or only one or the other, I'm curious about both, but if you only do one, then I'd go for romantic, first!

I'm aroace, but in fiction/daydream land it's different, so for imagine purposes, I'd say pan? 🤔 Yeah, I think that works(???) 😭 sexuality is weird, man.

I tend to feel really strongly, for better or worse, but it's what makes me strongly invested in anything I care about. Stories, or people, too. I can't stand knowing someone I care about is struggling. I like that I feel a lot and care a lot, but it does tend to make me stretch myself too thin, and tunnel vision a lot at times 😞

I like reading, and writing, and taking pictures of flowers. Too much coffee and too little sleep, though I'm working on that second part for now. Or trying to 😔

Though what I love the most is music, both listening and singing. It's the one thing that always brought me both joy and excitement and peace and love and satisfaction. It's hard to describe, but sometimes you just know this one thing is right for you, you know? It clicks into place, like a piece of yourself. That's music, for me.

What fewer people might guess about me, considering how hard it is to leave home most days, is I do actually love different sports—not as an organized contest or whatever, but the physical sensation of doing them. Even though I have a hard time getting out of the house, and about, and don't do them much anymore, I used to love doing any physical activity I could, as a kid, and still do on the rare occasion. I miss it, sometimes.

Swimming's always been my favorite, though. The weightless feeling of floating, and turning, and moving in that way that's completely foreign to being in dry land, almost like you're flying. Love the sea most of all, but I'll swim anywhere I have the chance, honestly.

I miss a lot of stuff, tbh. Trying to slowly let myself remember and do things I enjoy again, at least, even if it's hard some days.

Idk. I kinda started rambling but I'm not sure what things are useful for a match-up 😭😔 don't wanna trauma dump too much in here either, though I'm pretty sure you have me pegged by now, even though I'm anon, so I'm not too worried 😅 still thought it would be interesting to see who you'd match me up with, with what you know.

I (romantically) match you with...

SE Saeran.

I say him because it feels like the two of you need to learn how to make sense of life together after you've gone through something difficult. It's not always easy to figure out how to live again, but it's a little bit easier when you're with somebody you care about.

Saeran doesn’t know how to live, much less how to figure it out. So, he might not feel like he's helping you, but that's where he's wrong about that. If you're trying to reclaim everything you feel like you lost to depression, picking it up for the first time and showing him how to do it might just rejuvenate that spark. When you see his eyes light up for the first time, it might take you back to what it felt like for you. 

That's the beautiful thing about a relationship with him, you learn how to appreciate the little things all over again. Saeran knows what it feels like to suffer, and maybe you need someone who won’t mince words with you when you say it sucks and you wish things had been different. You might just need a partner who's willing to tell you like it is, but still pull you out of the darkness just as you do for him. 

I (platonically) match you with...

Jumin.

When you are somebody who values communication with another person deep within your heart, this is the man for you. If what you look for in a friendship is someone who can talk to you about anything and everything even if they don't know what you're talking about, Jumin is the friend you need. He wants to understand other people, he wants to know what makes other people tick, and if you present something to him that he's never heard of before, he wants to know why you're passionate about it.

He has hobbies like that that he never gets the chance to talk about and you could be the first friend to push his buttons to talk about magic. 

He will listen for hours and nothing will get in his way, and it must be the same for you if you share similar values. To have him listen to you is a gift because he's that friend who never forgets what you brought up. If you do the same for him, that's one way to make him smile. Validation like that is hard to come by and he's certainly not going to turn it down. 

[mindsmade]

what i don’t wish is for you to leave. 🥲

meme

He never thought he'd be on the receiving end of that line. It'd always been him to think it, though rarely to say it — too scared of the repercussions of airing out his worst fears like that. V thinks it makes him a coward and therefore, by extent, this makes So Mi brave. For a moment, in his puzzlement, he wonders if she struggles with telling him this, with confiding in him so, just like he knows he would had their roles been reversed.

His end lies looming on the horizon, though, so maybe she's simply recognized she doesn't have anything to lose now. Neither does he, really, but he supposes his avoidant is also a real fuckin' stubborn one. So he chews on the sentiment she's just shared with him, his eyes searching hers for some indication of a lie — perhaps a white lie to placate him because, despite his best intentions, maybe she's seen through his forced distance; his eternal self-restraint, because what if his presence repels her, or what if his feelings do?

He sees none of that, not even with his signature paranoia keeping his expectations on a tight leash. V tips his head sideways some as such, his eyebrows knitting together.

❛  Y'mean it?  ❜

He hadn't wanted to leave, anyway. Ironically, being stuck with the bastard that is Johnny Silverhand has made him all the more keen on sticking around; on living to see the end of this fucked-up tale. Quite the change from his usual disregard for his own life.

He'd be one big liar if he'd deny the role others have played in the second spark given to his will to live, though. Jackie ( man, how he misses him, still ), Panam, Judy — and, despite their rocky track record ( or maybe even because of it ), So Mi. Oh, So Mi, the one that fucked him over the hardest, and contrarily did the most to undo any damage done.

A slight smile splits his features, overpowering the bemusement stuck fast till now. Though reading facial expressions is hardly one of his strengths ( that unyielding scepticism of his sees to that ), he's sure he detects a current of sadness sweeping across her features. Not even the iridescent gradient of her hair he so loves could distract him from that.

Uncharacteristically boldly, he pierces the perimeter of the personal space he always ensures he sticks to ( even if others are invited into it ), placing his right hand on her shoulder — closer to her neck than to her upper arm.

As the silence stretches on a moment longer, he considers his chances; whether they're good enough to merit a promise from his end. Mikoshi, for all intents and purposes, should be the panacea he's been after. One assault, one cure, one escape, and that's it.

Still, he doesn't have the courage to commit to any promises. The uncertainty underscoring that fact frightens him somewhat, but he swallows it down for now, comforted by the knowledge that he's not alone in the fight of and for his life.

❛  I'm doin' all I can to stick around, So Mi. Somehow, this mess has gone and done the impossible of actually makin' me want to live.  ❜ He squeezes her shoulder gently, cementing his resolution to stay. Before he finishes his train of thought, he withdraws his touch, gesturing towards her. ❛  I'll even admit to wantin' to stay just to spend more time with you.  ❜

Here, his gaze peels off her, briefly flitting towards the NCART coasting along the tracks in the distance. It sticks there only for a second or two for that penetrating silence's sake, before his eyes inevitably find hers again. This time, the smile on his face bears a sheepish quality.

❛  Unless you're talkin' about not wantin' me to leave this specific spot just now — in which case: my bad, first of all. Second: I've got some time left 'fore I have to go meet Rogue.  ❜

[grandhotelabyss]

I noticed you restructured the American syllabus for the IC, and after groaning at the extra cash I would have to lay down to buy the readings (and at there being only one week of Dickinson*), I rejoiced that I would finally get introduced to American modernism. Along those lines —

Would you consider postwar literature (through to the millenium) for a future IC? If not (or even if so!) I would love to hear how you’d structure this era/a syllabus on it, which you’ve talked about in glowing terms before. But I’m too young to have picked it up as it happened, and it’s too young to have been really canonised yet (or at least, the culture wars have stopped it from being canonised on its own terms rather than primarily political ones). Or maybe it has been but I don’t know where to look, although you said recently that criticism for that era hasn’t yet lived up to the books themselves.

But like, Morrison and DeLilo and Ellison and Bellow and Roth and Baldwin and Pynchon and McCarthy and Nabokov (kinda) and Wallace (apparently) and who else am I missing, and a handful of romancers like Dick and Le Guin — not to mention poets, playwrights, essayists, or Brits! And I don’t know how it all fits together, since we’ve (as Bloom predicted!) handed over the keys to the cultural narrative to the ‘cultural studies’ people who know only how to read films and magazines, and even then just barely.

*Also, do you think you might be able to include at the end of the syllabus a note on the works you’ve swapped out? The expanded guide would be useful, even though (indeed because!) it includes some of the more obvious picks, which I can return to later.

Thanks! I did address some of your questions about how exactly I changed the syllabus in my most recent Substack. I mainly just deleted a few Emerson essays (Nature, "The Divinity School Address," "Circles," "Experience"), Thoreau's Walden (in favor of two shorter pieces by him), and a handful of Whitman's Civil War poems.

I have the lectures for a course I taught on American Lit from 1945 to the present on YouTube here. I wouldn't do anything differently when it comes to poetry and drama than I did there. With fiction, I focused on the short story because it was an intro-level class; for that reason I omitted some writers mainly known for novels (Ellison, Bellow, McCarthy) but I didn't avoid anyone on strictly political grounds (Roth and Wallace are included, for instance, despite the controversy about them). I don't really think of Nabokov as an American writer! For the criticism of the era, big names include Irving Howe, Lionel Trilling, Elizabeth Hardwick, Gore Vidal, Susan Sontag, and then it becomes more strictly academic...I'm not sure I'd ever teach a course on that per se.

I would consider and have considered an IC course focused on the postwar American novel, though I'd probably cut it off at 2000. (As Roger Shattuck once said quixotically of the Visible College, "Students can read living authors on their own time." The few living authors below are over 80 and effectively beyond criticism.) The reading list would probably look like this:

Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

Flannery O'Connor, The Violent Bear It Away

Saul Bellow, Herzog

Thomas Pynchon, The Crying of Lot 49

Samuel R. Delany, Babel-17

Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays

Leslie Marmon Silko, Ceremony

Cynthia Ozick, The Cannibal Galaxy

Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian

Maxine Hong Kingston, Tripmaster Monkey [*]

Don DeLillo, Underworld

Toni Morrison, Paradise

With the postwar British novel, I don't have a list at my fingertips and would have to think about it—and probably read more widely myself. Graham Greene, Christopher Isherwood, Muriel Spark, Iris Murdoch, J. G. Ballard, A. S. Byatt, Angela Carter, Salman Rushdie, Kazuo Ishiguro, Ian McEwan, Zadie Smith, David Mitchell...who else? I'm probably missing obvious people! (I've never read Penelope Fitzgerald, for example. I want to read The Blue Flower but have to read that Novalis thing first and then it never happens, etc. Never read Kingsley Amis, don't care for Martin Amis...)

___________________________

[*] This one would be aspirational. It's long and ambitious, and I read and was fascinated by some of it while researching for the "U.S. Multicultural Literatures" class I used to teach. I never finished it, though, and keep meaning to get back to it.

[yostresswritinggirl]

Seers' Miscellany

Prologue: Origins of the first bloom

A circular fic for the Dainsleif mini-series I'll be working on. This will be the introduction; of the evanescent bough keeper of the new world. "Observers of the North do not usually wind up in personal business, but when they do, in their wake comes great shifting of the plates of the timelines." Logs of the stag and the delicate flower.

Pairings -> Dainsleif x Reader; Reader is NOT Traveler

Word Count -> 1579

Themes -> Pretty sad, but also fluffy

Chapters -> 1

Warnings -> Story progression takes a while, oh dear why am I doing this now, I'm so busy

"500 mora; and three answered questions."

He's not really sure what lead him to indulge the requests of a simple adventurer when he made his rounds around the city of freedom. Was it the simple need for currency? It couldn't be, he was better off with other commissions that Katheryne could offer.

Was it the desperation in your voice and eyes? You looked at him like a prophet, your only salvation, and perhaps in this context that may be true. You were but a lone adventurer and the way your weight leans heavier on one foot shows your struggle to those who have keen eyes like him, no other person wished to indulge your needs and you were getting desperate.

Or was it the three questions? Dainsleif have yet to hear such contractual obligations before, but it felt as tho it was the most important part of the agreement he took the moment you pleaded with that soft voice. Humble yet resolved, not letting him walk away without at least considering it once.

And so he found himself traversing the land of the wolves through a dangerous path, where you skip ahead with a gait of happiness, bubbly and energetic enough to surpass even his long legs. You hummed without consideration at the glee of finally having a companion, and he did not mind it at the slightest despite the attention it may bring upon your little party.

"First question," Dainsleif fleeted his gaze away from the horizon to turn to you whom slowed your pace to match his, head looking over your shoulder with a wide grin. "How are you?" So innocent.

He huffs in amusement, the most emotion you've seen of him. "You don't need to waste a contract question for such a simple question, you know," he stands behind you as you crouch down on a shrubbery filled with Wolfhooks. Your main objective for visiting Wolvendom in the first place.

You assured him that you meant your question in every way possible as your hands carefully pick at the herbs, wary of the thorns and the intrusive prickly leaves. Despite your attention turned away from him he knows you await his answer. Dainsleif hums to himself and stops—

How is he? What does he truly feel in this moment of his time?

A simple question yet risked for one of the three inquiries agreed upon definitely holds a deeper meaning. His train of spiraling thoughts halts upon the sound of otherwordly grunts and chants as he turns away from your still busy form (you seem very focused on your foraging) to find three Hilichurls approaching with ill intent.

Dainsleif squints at the impending threat before shooting a final glance to make sure you weren't looking. His arm glows blue as he raises it, power in the form of blue swirling mist surges around him - how are you? The feeling brings him back to vague memories of his past, of the energy rising through him at his expeditions with an old companion, of the thrill spent upon encountering the unexpected. Such thoughts are not vivid but the familiarity of what he is experiencing right now was enough for him.

Though he was sure that there were no camps before they went through this route.

"You asked me how I am," he spoke when you finally turned from the bush with an armful of Wolfhooks on your arsenal, confusion on your face at the sight of downed Hilichurls and the side profile of the bough keeper.

His cerulean eyes were fixated at his left hand that he repeatedly closes and opens for a few seconds, before he fully turns to you (your eyes did not miss the blue glow from underneath his cape, where his right arm should be) with a wisp of a smile, "I feel alive right now."

You reciprocated the gesture with a wide grin, "I'm glad to hear that!"

A majority of the wolfhooks gathered where given to the little Botanist Chloris, the seller of flowers, who looked relieved and ecstatic upon your arrival. Something Dainsleif took great notice of. Carefully handing over the berries and some which you had to pluck singularly from your companion's flowy cape, the little girl gave you her Valberries in exchange.

It was sweet and familiar, something Dainsleif took note as he accepted your offer of the fruit despite his none need for sustenance.

Your little chewing sounded through as you two settled on the humble camp you managed to setup with your supply for a single individual. There was a little hole in the middle for a campfire Dainsleif had made the effort to prepare knowing the coldness the night will bring soon enough, and your fragile form is not something he wishes to bargain now. Is that really the reason? Perhaps in the back of his mind, he was really just working on forgotten routines.

"Second question," his footstep at the edge of the camp halts as he turns once again, where you sat on the mat as tonight's bedding, hands flicking to remove the stray juices of the berries. He stood still in wait before he goes back to his mini mission of getting fire wood.

"Go on," he urged when you stood a minute longer in silence.

"Do you like traveling, Dain?" Easy enough, he simply said yes and left when you ended the conversation with a nod.

When he came back with the wood and tinder bundle for easy spreading, out of the corner of his eye he watched your hands work on the mortal and pestle as you grinded the remaining wolfhooks on your person. The fire started the moment he was done setting up the kindling and your face filled with admiration at the sudden and immediate spark, praising him for his quick work.

Dainsleif is both talkative and not, and at times he finds himself rambling to the wind. The moments of the night passed without much details until he found himself talking about his past adventures with his old companion, of the world they've seen together and the now estranged relationship between them.

His responses were sometimes cryptic unintentionally, and he apologizes when there are things about it that he couldn't answer simply because he could not remember. When silence struck after he finished his tales and meal, the beautiful spike in his eyes found yours gleaming despite the drowsiness pulling at your whole feature.

"I'm glad you're very fond of traveling. If not, I wouldn't have met you," and he wouldn't have taken the commission. Dainsleif's eyes flashed in recognition, finally understanding the meaning behind your second question. Somehow this little commission deal turned into a silent back and forth quip of him understanding past your simple inquiries.

Like a little game he muses on with his curious mind.

That night you rested with the extra comfort of his eccentric cape, something you needed more than him as he gazes over the clear night sky. His eyes silently traced the galaxy of stars while the sound of your whispered breathing accompanies his sleepless night.

The last question and that last of your very quick expedition came the next day at the cliffside overlooking the lair sealed by winds.

Your fingers were dusted by the violet paste of grinded wolfhooks long consumed the night prior, stained fingers gripping the thin and fragile stem of the yellow dandelion in its grasp. It was his great observation that let him realize the disaster that happened now but even his foresight could not prepare him for what has to come.

"Third question," his head snapped down to watch your ethereal face don a calm smile, the sun's setting light kissing your cheeks in the right angle that matched that of the clean clouds above. Your eyes silently questioned his unfocused gaze but he only shook his head.

Don't worry about it. "I know this last question would end the commission with you," your voice trembled in both fear and fatigue but Dainsleif didn't force you to preserve your strength like he should. "But I wanted to ask, maybe tomorrow again,

do you want to be my traveling companion?"

The hand that clutched the Dandelion found it way to the side of his mask, the petals brushing against his eyelids as he looks down at you with an eye. A ghost of a smile lingers on his lips as he leans on your hand.

"It would be my pleasure."

Life momentarily flashed over your orbs before you let out a sharp exhale and a breathless, joyous laughter. Relief overtook the tension that laid on your shoulders, and your hand would have dropped to the ground immediately if he had not gripped it on the last second.

"That sounds good. I've always wanted to travel the world," he pulls the cape closer around your form as your eyelids droop to a close. And he witness another breathe, "It was supposed to be today, but I feel really tired today, I'll rest early too if that's okay."

He rose from the ground with you in his arms, "I'll be here."

"Mmm thank you... good... night."

"Good night, little dandelion."

And perhaps that distant memory from faraway had urged him to invite and indulge, when he saw the same spark of intrigue and desperation, of the warmth of carefree days in front of him.

"But I will require advance payment,

500 Mora, and three answered questions."

Dainsleif SUPREMACY MWAHAHAHAHAH

@genshin-idiot : here's your Dainsleif content

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan