#like it's inevitable that it will be hella awkward

[illgiveyouahint]

The strategy for talking to my dad on the phone goes like this:

He asks how I am. I start telling him something absolutely meaningless, either about my job or about my flat. He at some point hooks on some detail of it all and starts rambling about his own experiences, and I know the next 20 minutes I can just tune out until it's time to say goodbye.

[crushedsweets]

what do you think natalie and jack interacting would be like or. if they do at all or

jacks the only one taller than nat. ok i have words now

nat and jack met through toby, shortly after she was finally 'released' from the operator.

really it would just be nat and toby talking in jacks cabin, while jack listens. they never spent time alone together UNTIL toby and nat got into this massive argument and went weeks without speaking. this put nat on edge when she was at the barn that jeff usually crashed at, and she ended up also getting into a huge fight with jeff. so now she couldnt crash at tobys or the barn(when jeff was around) because she would get too angry.

so she went to the next place she deemed safe, jacks cabin. he accepted because he felt bad.

it was a really awkward night, but when she woke up jack awkwardly offered to make her breakfast because that's always how he was with his little siblings. she was kinda surprised, asked about it, and he awkwardly told her about how he used to cook a lot. she said smth about 'kinda ironic you dont eat this stuff then' and he just laughed. etc etc and they finally start actually talking.

natalies lack of filter and jack just accepting whatever the hell people say oddly works out...

she stays another night, she cleans up around the place because like. he sort of has like... echolocation and thermographic vision, so he gets around real easy and knows when there's stuff on the floor, but doesnt really see dust and dirt and whatever. he never even realized his place was kinda dirty and gets hella embarrassed and is like 'why the hell didnt anyone say anything' . he cleans a lot more thoroughly now. he gets so upset whenever he remembers all the times toby was there and said nothing LOL

theyre just.... so relaxed around eachother idk how to explain it. jacks always been pretty calm, and only got more quiet/distant after the sacrifice. natalie isnt super chatty but she keeps a decent conversation and he's oddly appreciative of her bluntness.

eventually they start talking about stuff they like. she shares that shes always liked stories, mentioned how toby tried reading to her bc she has pretty bad dyslexia but they thought it was cringe so she started listening to audio books, and jack was like holy crap. WHY HAVENT I THOUGHT OF AUDIO BOOKS. because hes always been a bookworm but cant read anymore on account of... well....

they listen to audiobooks together while doing their own thing. she'll be painting or something and he'll be cooking and it's overall pretty nice.

inevitably she ends up going back to the barn and her and toby reconcile, plus she doesnt really wanna live at jacks cabin cuz she sleeps on the couch and doesnt like to intrude more than she already has. but jack tells her she's always welcome

they never connect on a like, deep emotional level where they share trauma or something, but overall theyre just really good company

[luckykiwiii101]

Okay this is outrageously easy. The way I overcomplicated everything is ummm embarrassing but we move…

So I just really thought and took in that I don't have to put anything on a pedestal and tire myself out I should just stick to that “idc” mindset I have. I was manifesting waking up in the void since I wanted to experience it (and probably manifest my dream life through it) and I was like it's literally nothing, not that deep. Before I would affirm and vaunt many times, visualise and I’d experience that feeling of fulfilment and knowing multiple times until it felt natural. Then yesterday I basically just left it all alone since I already did everything (even when I didn't have to) so it's basically inevitable for me to get what i want, there’s no point in doing anything more now (also methods made me feel like i was struggling to “get” and i didn’t like that). Anyway last night I woke up in the void (by literally falling asleep normally) and I didn't even freak out or anything I was just like "hm okay". I affirmed that I manifest things I want extremely fast and I wake up in the void every night, after I just chilled there for a bit.

I came across this post on how to make your desires feel natural to you i forgot who it was and I honestly can’t be asked finding it but it said to think of it this way. Let’s say many people want a certain feature you have like your eye colour or hair type/texture and they really want it, they even get hella excited or happy thinking about having it. But when you actually take the time to think about that feature you don't even give much of a reaction like you don't care as much that's cus you already have it, it's always been yours. I know I'm repeating what everyone has said and that's because that's literally all there is to say honestly. So being on tumblr scavenging for answers isn't doing anything really. everyone will just repeat the same thing but phrased differently to help people understand better and some people will get mad about them repeating themselves like….. yeah..? that's basically the answer to all your questions.

You think you’re “waiting” to “get” your desires but like it’s the other way round, your desires are waiting for you to wake up and accept that they’re already yours

So it's all just crickets and tumbleweed, if you're just sitting there questioning why you, apparently, don't have your desires. Imagine your desires are just awkwardly watching you ignoring the fact that you already have them and they’re right there in front of you. They’re probably just looking to the left and right, scratching their head. it's especially awkward when you're looking at the 3D for answers when it's literally useless and doesn't do shit, it only reflects old circumstances. That can only change when you turn to yourself or the 4D for answers, and of course any method will help but then again it all comes down to you to decide if it works. If you "want" your desires don’t dismiss what it is that "gets" you them...idk how to phrase it but just start applying and persist it's honestly too easy.

Anyway enough from me, I'm finally deleting this app right after this. This was long sorry if it doesn't make sense but this is how I understood it. To summarise you're all that's left to"getting" your desires. Think of it as having a breakdown over not being able to find your glasses or hair tie but turns out you're wearing it the entire time.

Thank you Wii and all the other bloggers who take the time out of their day to help others with all of this. Take care of yourselves!!

THIS IS AMAZING!!! I’m SO proud of you!! SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY APPLIED WHAT THEY KNEW AND NOW LOOK AT THEM!! you deserve this so much honestly i’m beyond happy for you!

Also i REALLY love the way you put yourself on the pedestal by saying that your desires are waiting for YOU and not the other way round.

[127luvr]

yooo it’s me again😈😈 can i request a chenle x male reader where reader comes out of hiatus and is like shell shocked at how life treated everyone hella well, especially chenle like man is greek god handsome. and reader has liked chenle prior to his hiatus (same cliche 😭😭) so he’s kinda nervous and awkward with chenle. whereas chenle seems to give reader the cold shoulder, making their interactions very bare bones so reader gets disheartened about that. but little does reader know, chenle also thinks life treated the reader well and is trying to navigate his feelings in his own way. yeah and the rest is up to you‼️‼️‼️

Rewind

Zhong Chenle x Male Reader

Surviving the aftermath of the pandemic was difficult. It was hard readjusting to being out in public with your members surrounded by screaming fans and cameras shoved in your face. It was such a vast difference compared to the quiet and empty seats you got so used to performing in front of. Instead of spending your nights in, you were interacting with fans no matter where you went. You withstood a year of this.

“Are you proposing I take a hiatus?” The conference room comes to a halt. You are left sitting in front of your managers in complete silence as they go back and forth on your options and how it would affect the overall image of the group. “I think keeping me in the loop would work better.”

“Based on the information you—”

“And my therapist.”

“Yes. Based on the information the two of you brought us, we think it is best if you were to take a hiatus. You cannot continue with your activities if you’re going to keep having anxiety attacks in the restrooms between performances.” You place your hands on the cool table with your palms down, looking down at your shoes, trying to ground yourself. “We want you to take this break to focus on your mental health. The group and the fans will be there when you return. You can decide on how long you need this to be.” You could feel the inevitable but coming. “However, you will be expected to practice… at your own pace and however much you can take. We don’t want you to get rusty now.” An awkward laugh is shared between the three men as they slide you a stack of papers. “Just covering our bases, making sure we’ve touched on everything on here. Okay, (Y/n)?”

A year.

It had taken a year for you to feel like you could return to your members. After spending most of your time inside of your home going back and forth to your therapist—then your family—then the studio you were renting now and then—you started missing it. Taking this break helped you expose yourself more to everyday interactions. It helped ease you in to being out in public with people and all of their liveliness.

Although you had already come to a decision, it took you a few weeks to step foot in the SM building again. Gathering all of your belongings again along with the music you prepared to bring along in case you were to be evaluated. You did feel a little guilty about contacting the members every now and then instead of as frequently as you could—especially Chenle—but you were sure they understood.

You feel your footsteps grow heavy as you grow closer to the dorms. The overhead lights in the hallway suddenly too bright for you as you dragged your fingernails up and down the handle of your suitcase. With a deep breath you turn the handle, greeted by a group of twenty-odd men.

“Welcome back!” Taeyong pulls you into a hug, causing you to drop your suitcase and backpack near the shoe rack. You slipped off your (f/c) crocs as he hugged you, finally wrapping your arms around his waist and letting your face sink into his shoulder. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to bask in the comfortableness that came with your members. “We’ll talk about how bad you are at texting another time, okay?” You give him a small nod, finally pulling away to greet everyone else in the room.

Everything seemed to familiar—and yet—so unfamiliar. This past year had treated them all so well, you felt like they had grown into their faces so drastically. Together as a group they looked like they were doing so well without you—it made you feel a little disheartened. You felt like you still looked and acted the same as you did a year ago. Just less anxious about every single word you shared.

You nodded your head along to the stories Sicheng and Donghyuck shared with you, looking across the room with your eyes only as you searched for a specific face. When you finally spotted him the room went radio silent—to you at least. The last time you had seen him he had vibrant pink hair—a color you never stopped complementing him on. Now he dawned a dark brown that suited his face perfectly. You were at a loss for words. This year had favored Chenle tremendously.

“Excuse me, guys.” Sicheng and Donghyuck made way for you, going back to their conversation immediately with cake in their hands left forgotten. You walked towards him, feeling the room lengthen in size as you felt as if you were never going to reach him— “Chenle.”

“(Y/n).” Cold.

Even his voice is different. It hits you in your throat first, where you feel yourself tense up at his short reply. He is avoiding all eye contact with you, clearly showing discomfort with his body language towards you. You try and brush it off, chalk it up to the fact that you weren’t the best at replying to his messages whether you were on your phone or not. But this Chenle was different—his prominent cheekbones unwelcoming as they sat still on his face instead of puffing out into a smile as they used to whenever you spoke to him. He is much slimmer now—so mature and serious as he stands tall with perfect posture. He feels so far away from you.

“It’s nice to see you again. I’ve been keeping up with you guys and your promotions. Your stage presence has blossomed so well—not that you’ve ever had a problem with that!” You mentally cringe as you try to explain further— “You just all grew up so well I’m a little jealous.” You’re still met with nothing more than a poker face.

“Thank you, (Y/n)-ssi.”

Ssi.

You try not to show your insecurities. Bowing a goodbye with your head as you awkwardly turn away from Chenle and choose to catch up with members who seemed more than interested in how you spent the last year. You can’t help but turn your head back to look at him, catching how his eyes dart from you back to Jisung—who had taken your spot just a minute after you had walked away. At least they’re still the same. You hate the look in Taeil’s eyes as you turn back to meet them—pure sympathy and sadness when he looks at you. Not that you could blame him.

It had taken you a while to get used to having roommates again. It was nice to have people to split the dishes and cooking with but you could never get used to the noise that rang through the dorms day in and day out. You knew this before you came back—knew that most of your members were hyperactive extroverts who seemed to never settle down until they could see the sun come up from the floor-to-ceiling windows that decorated your living room. These days it was a little quiet though—a little empty as they came in and out of the dorms at odd hours of the night. This could only mean one thing.

“(Y/n). We were taking your health into consideration. See it from our side.” You pace around the room nervously—comforted by the fact that nothing had changed in here since last year. “You just got out of a hiatus and you want to get thrown back in for a full group album? Do you think you’ll be able to handle that? We have yet to start recording any songs or music videos so adjustments could be made just like—” he snaps his long fingers, brown eyes keeping contact with you as long as you’d let them, “that. This is your decision to make. If you choose to participate, you’re going to be thrown head first into schedules.”

A nod is all they need before they start briefing you on the comeback’s concept. The overall feel of the album and what unit’s they had already made that you could join and fit right in.

Immediately you feel restless. The constant thumping of your sneakers on the practice room floor driving you crazy. If only you could get this one step—

“You’re doing it wrong.” Again. His voice is void of any emotion towards you. His never changing face still startling you as it used to hold smiles and fondness towards you. “If you twist your knee—” he pulls his pants up, showing you how to move your knee for this specific move, “like that—you’ll get it right every time.” Chenle lingers a second too long, staring at the top of your head as you try and succeed on your first try. Before you know it, he’s out the door, nothing but the scent of fresh laundry and wood to let you know that he was actually here. He didn’t even let you say goodbye.

This coldness persisted throughout promotions. The company had stuck you with Chenle in a unit with three other members—Johnny, Doyoung and Xiaojun. And while all five of you had great chemistry on stage, the harmonizing part you had with Chenle in the middle of the song never quite fit the rest of the stage. The two of you tried and tried again—but faking the closeness with each other was tearing you two apart. Fans were quick to pick up on this.

You followed Chenle backstage after the performance, grabbing his wrist harshly to force him to turn around. He pulled his wrist free of your hold, turning around with frowned eyebrows and hard eyes.

“What is your problem with me? What? I leave for a year to focus on myself and all of a sudden I’m a villain? Are you mad that I never replied to your messages?” Chenle scoffs, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. “Chenle. I’ve been trying for months and you give me nothing.”

“You look good, (Y/n). You grew up so good away from us—from me—how am I supposed to talk to you when you look like that?” He rubs his hands up and down his black jeans, the jewelry in his hair and around his neck bouncing up and down as he did. “I haven’t been able to look you in the eye because you make me nervous, I feel physically ill when I look at you—not in a bad way!”

It takes you a second to process this. To process the sudden confession you had finally pulled out of him on the busy hallways of Inkigayo. He is standing with his thumbs in the pockets of his pants, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. You bowed to the idols rushing past the two of you, pining Chenle to the wall so you gave them more than enough space. You put your hands up beside his head, looking away from him as you wait for everyone to pass. When you finally got back to Chenle, your faces are mere centimeters away—the tip of your noses almost brushing together. You take in a breath, inhaling all of Chenle’s sweat and cologne. Before you know it, you’re laughing—cackling as you squat down flat on your feet.

“Chenle… we are so stupid.” He stares down at you, confusion written all over his face. “You giving me the cold shoulder because you have a crush on me…” He slaps your shoulder playfully, looking around to make sure no one was around. “I was being such a pushover. Chenle, we could’ve figured this out over a year ago.”

“You’ve liked me for more than a year?!”

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Hey Allie! The update was AMAZING you nailed it again!

I'm doing a Rayyan main playthrough first this time around, but I have been flirting with the other ROs too and reading Sam's POV when they were about to leave to visit MC, all determined to tell them how they feel kinda made me go 'OH NO' for the eventual inevitable car crash that is pining!Sam meeting romanced&kissed!Rayyan 🙈 like just imagining Sam watching MC being head over heels in love with their new rival-turned-teammate/partner hurts!!! But also imagining Rayyan watching MC being all touchy and lingering glances and inside jokes with Sam is also.... exciting???

Tobin is definitely gonna be there I wonder how they'll interact. Will G attend the game too??? This is gonna be so messy!

Anyways so, on a scale of 1 to 10 how awkward or how messy is it gonna be in the long run for MCs who romanced all of them lmao 🙃 how hurt is sam gonna be???

Ahhh thank you!! 😊 😊 Glad you enjoyed the update!!

Many ROs gonna be suspicious at that match on Friday 🤨 haha yes G will attend the game.

I think Tobin is actually a pretty chill person, and more likely to step back than step on the gas pedal and ramp things up the moment they see they have competitors. I mighttt do small POV scenes for ROs next update but... not sure if that would spoil the fun! We shall see :) But yeah, juicy!

And as for the messy question: the longer you keep flirting with each RO, the more messy it's gonna get with each of them. If you exit some routes earlier, might help subtract some of the mess.

Finally, how hurt is Sam gonna be? Well, not hurt. But hella sad. Sad O'Connelly. (But more kicking themselves for not acting sooner).

Aight, I'll leave it at that to avoid any more spoilers :) Thanks for the ask and for playing :)

[castoffyourcrown]

((I think I have Liza's Blue Exorcist verse figured out mostly. TW for mentions of (not real) suicide and mental health issues, under the cut;

Basically? After the death of their mother, their father marrying Val, and his worsening mental illness, Liza's brother was angry, confused, and weak; basically perfect for demonic possession. He lashed out and attacked Liza, resulting in her getting a temptaint and being able to see demons.

She knows that what attacked her was not her brother, and when the possession inevitably killed him, it was chalked up to self-immolation; a troubled teen who ended his life violently to make a point, leaving his poor, traumatized sister to blame it on "demons" of all things.

From that point on, Liza invested her time learning everything she could about demons, exorcism, and eventually to use her talent for calligraphy and wood burning to learn how to make sigils and wards to hold off demons.

She enrolled herself in True Cross Academy a year or so later, her father signing off on it because he didn't really care at that point. He was already distancing himself from her due to the two traumatic deaths in his life, and her going away to an elite private school was just fine with him, nevermind what it was for.

As both a foreigner and a rich girl even by their standards, Liza stands out. Nevermind she wears a full face of makeup to class every day and collects dead stuff...she's often seen as bratty and stuck up, but it's not personal or even intended; she's just socially awkward and hella neurodivergent.

Her familiar is a rat named Balthazar and she collects ancient Holy relics. Sometimes her dad will pretend to "support her interests" by buying her like. Relics from the Crusades or stuff said to belong to saints and sending it to her. She's got quite a collection and loves showing it off and sharing with her few friends.))

[yslkook]

IF I GOT YOU (7)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: one month later...and things start to come to a head. you feel more at peace than you've ever felt, but as usual, what remains peaceful is always interrupted.

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, HELLA HELLA toxic friendship and dynamics, suggestive content (hooking up and other mentions)

word count: 4066

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts

Despite a month going by from the last time you spoke to Jungkook in the park and put all of your feelings out in the open, spring air, you feel lighter than ever. Maybe most of that has to do with the simple fact that you’ve finally cut out a toxic, deadweight from your life. Regardless of what ends up happening with you and Jungkook as friends or more than that, at least you are at peace and happy with being yourself.

Besides, it’s not like you don’t ever see him. You see him when you visit the tattoo parlor (but you haven’t allowed yourself to be alone with him and he hasn’t initiated), you’ve seen him at impromptu nights out, at Yoongi’s apartment. Neither of you allow yourself to be alone with each other, since you had both agreed to wait. Even your text message thread with him is dry, though.

You miss him, hoping that a notification of his name with the bunny emoji attached to it flashes across the screen. But it doesn’t.

For all of his bravado, he feels somewhat shy around you on the few occasions that he’s seen you. Jungkook will go out of his way to avoid you, hiding (as much as he can) behind Mina and Mei.

He misses you. Jungkook misses the feel of your lips molding against his, the way you felt in his arms, but most of all he misses your shy smile and your loud laugh. He misses the way your eyes shine when you speak about something you’re passionate about.

Mina had said you were both being stupid, taking time away from each other when you both are denying the inevitable. But it made sense in your mind and his. You want to know what kind of person you were without the burden of Sora’s judgment weighing heavily in every frame of your life. You take the time you need to take to recenter yourself and feel somewhat whole again.

It doesn’t take you long to adjust to life without a former best friend. You quickly begin to notice how different you feel, how differently you approach basic things that you hadn’t really put much thought to before.

It feels so refreshing to not feel like you’re walking in some metaphorical shadow of someone who didn’t really care about you. Well, you think on some level, she did care. But along with the insignificant way she made you feel, it’s not enough to justify it. And you’re really grateful that you don’t need to anymore.

In fact, you’ve already deleted most pictures with her on your social medias. You haven’t quite been able to block her yet, but you think you’ll be ready to do that soon enough.

The ever elusive notion of time really does seem to heal nearly all forms of hurt.

“So,” Yoongi starts, sitting next to you on his new black leather couch and handing you a glass of red wine.

“Don’t start with me,” You say, poking his shoulder.

“I’m not starting anything with you,” Yoongi shrugs, but his eyes twinkle.

“Oh? That’s the voice you use when you have gossip or when you’re about to interrogate me,” You mutter, rolling your eyes with a fond smile.

“Maybe it’s a little of both,” Hobi chimes in, sitting on your other side. He leans back and drapes his legs over your lap, to which you instantly rest your hands over his legs.

“How lucky for me,” You mumble, taking a long swig of your wine. You’ll need it.

“How’s that witch doing,” Yoongi asks bluntly.

“I don’t know, I told you I cut her off and kicked her out of my house like a month ago,” You reply, “Did you forget already?”

“No, I just like hearing that you finally came to your fucking senses,” Yoongi says, “She was awful, but I’ll commend you for sticking it out for this long. Cheers, the witch is finally gone-”

“I believe the phrase is, ‘ding dong, the witch is dead’, but this will suffice,” Hobi says and yelps when you swat his shoulder.

“Don’t be rude,” You say, “But… thank you for helping me see the light. Even if it took a while. And I’m sorry it affected our friendship, too.”

“Ah, well, we’re all here now,” Hobi says, pulling you in for a side hug.

“Yeah. So cheers,” Yoongi says again, raising his glass to you both, “Cheers to you for choosing yourself. And to new beginnings.”

“You’ll make me cry,” You say honestly, offering your friends a watery smile.

“As if we’ve never seen you cry before,” Hobi scoffs. And it’s true- they are two of your oldest friends, and even if you’ve come to the realization that maybe you hadn’t been the greatest friend to them… That bond is hard to sever, and you’re grateful that they’ve always had your back.

“Drink up,” You say with a smile, “Cheers to new beginnings.”

Yoongi has always been a little sly, unassuming but always with several tricks up his sleeve. When he so desires to cause a little mischief and stir the pot a little. And Hobi is all too happy to engage.

Which is how you end up several glasses of red wine and rose deep (yes, you mixed, rookie mistake but who cares. You’re in the presence of some of your greatest friends, after all).

And then Yoongi goes in for the kill.

“How’s our Jungkookie,” He asks, without missing a beat. You choke on your wine and wince when it somehow gets lodged in your nose.

“I don’t know. Think he’s good,” You finally respond, your words sounding slurred, “Ask Hobi. They work together, if you didn’t know.”

“Oh, thanks for the information. I had no idea.”

“Happy to be of service,” You say, leaning into Hobi's side, “Ikindofmisshim.”

“What was that? Didn’t quite catch that,” Yoongi says, a self-satisfied smirk blooming on his lips. He heard you, of course he did, but you don’t seem to pick up on it.

“I said I kind of miss him,” You reply, a dreamy look in your eyes, “Do you think he misses me, too?”

Hobi chokes back a laugh but you hear it and offer him a glare. “Don’t make fun of me!”

“Nobody’s making fun of you, stupid,” Yoongi says poking your forehead, “And yeah. Your man doesn’t shut up about you. Always with those eyes around you.”

“He’s not my man,” You whine pathetically.

“Yeah, that’s a mystery to both of us,” Hobi says, “How long are you both gonna keep this up?”

“Keep what up?”

“This weird awkward dance you both do around each other. Avoiding each other when we’re all together. It’s kinda funny, like we all know you both wanna fuck so bad-”

“Shut up! That’s- that’s not- shut up!”

Yoongi and Hoseok both burst into laughter, drunken giggles loud in the living room and you can’t help but laugh with them.

Clubs were never your most favorite place to unwind, but you make an exception for tonight. For Mina and Mei, you’ll make an exception. The three of you had gotten ready together in Mei’s home, in between sips of cocktails that she had poured out. Mina had done your makeup for you, giving you the sharpest eyeliner you’ve ever seen on your eyelids as well as a bold red lipstick.

It’s not a club night if there is no red lipstick involved, after all.

Your makeup usually looks good when you apply it yourself, but Mina has a genuine eye and skill for makeup artistry. You recall her telling you that she’d always dreamed of going to beauty school but hadn’t pursued it. You had told her that it’s never too late to fulfill a dream and she had only smiled at you.

“Hey,” You say, “Is Jimin coming tonight? How’d your date last week go?”

“It was really good,” Mina says, something sweet in her voice, “He made me dinner and dessert. And then I sucked his soul from his cock an hour later and he even made me squirt. And yeah, he’s coming tonight to the club. We’ll see what happens...”

“Wow,” You nod, listening with wide eyes, “That sounds amazing. I’m really happy things are going well for you both. Including the horny stuff.”

“The horny stuff?” Mei laughs, “You’re cute.”

“Shut up,” You say, playfully shoving her shoulder, “It’s no joking matter that he made you squirt.”

“Yeah, I high fived him after,” Mina says slyly, “It was… a night. Can’t wait to have another night like that. But I’m gonna make him work for it tonight.”

“As you should,” You nod solemnly, “What about you Mei? Are we drinking until we blackout or are you playing hard to get with Seulgi?”

“Who says we can’t do both?” Comes Mei’s muffled response.

“Cheers to that,” You reply, “Are… Jimin’s roommates coming?”

“You think you’re slick, huh?” Mina snorts, “You wondering about Jungkook?”

“N-no, I haven’t seen Taehyung in a while either-”

“Tae’s coming, but Jungkook isn’t. Something about having a long week and wanting to chill at home.”

“Oh, gotcha,” You say, cheeks ablaze as you avoid her eyes. Unable to hold the slight sting of disappointment from your voice.

Mina and Mei see right through it but they say nothing, only handing you a refill of your now empty glass.

Despite the relatively steady stream of drinks in your hand (an illusion, really, you’ve been nursing the same two drinks all night), you’re almost completely sober. In fact, you’re more tired than anything else. It seems that Jungkook had the right idea to stay home tonight. You’re rather benignly jealous of his decision.

You enjoy dancing and singing with your friends, feeling the thrum and excitement of music and your close companions bursting through your veins.But environments like this overwhelm you sometimes. All of the flashing lights, sometimes smoke and all of the people… Tonight seems to be one of those nights.

“Wanna dance?” Comes a rich, velvety voice behind you to the right. It’s Taehyung, and you’d rather dance with Taehyung than anyone else in this club. With the exception being Jungkook, but he’s not here right now.

“Okay,” You nod, taking his hand when he offers it to you. Your thoughts flit to Jungkook briefly.

Taehyung is good company, always keeping you with a smile on your face and filling you up with laughter. He keeps you close with easy, gentle movements as you both belt out the words to whatever song is playing on the speakers. But Taehyung has always been observant.

“You don’t really wanna be here, huh? I’d take it personally, if I didn’t know you,” Taehyung teases.

“No, it’s not that,” You murmur, “Just have never been a big club goer, that’s all. Jungkook had the right idea in staying home.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung muses, “What are you two doing?”

He’s almost as blunt as Yoongi (who’s also in some corner of the club. Usually, he keeps you company at things like this, but conveniently, he’s nowhere to be found.).

“If I knew I was going to be interrogated in this club, I would’ve drank more,” You say dryly. Taehyung laughs at that and squeezes your shoulder.

“You both deserve to be happy. Just want you to know that.”

“Thanks, Tae,” You say, a grin spreading across your face, “I guess you’re not as sleazy as Mina says you are-”

“Me? Sleazy?” Taehyung gasps, pretending to be affronted. You roll your eyes and offer him your hand.

“Wanna dance?”

Taehyung turns you around and holds your hips tightly in his hands, dancing with you to the beat of the music. It’s nice to be held like this, even if it’s a little dirty.

You don’t notice a pair of sly eyes watching you from across the club.

By the time you excuse yourself to catch a breath and grab some water from the bar, you realize that most of your friends are off doing their own thing. It gives you a second to people watch from the second floor of the curb and lean on the railings, taking in your surroundings. Despite stifling a yawn.

You relish in the cool feel of the icy water flooding your senses, waking you up a little more. You wonder if you can convince Yoongi to take you to get fries or tacos after the night ends. At the thought of tacos, you salivate a little.

But your taco fueled fantasies are broken when a few girls try to push past you to get to the bar. You mumble a soft apology, but it goes unheard. The unmistakable sound of a voice, a voice that you’ve only recently been able to put out of your mind, breaks through the barrier and it makes your heart drop.

It’s an angry call of your name. Your stomach churns, and suddenly you’ve never wanted to learn the art of teleportation more.

Sora, in all her bitter glory, stands in front of you with a full drink in her hands. Beside her are two of her friends, looking resigned and trying to plead with her that they should go.

“Missed me so much that you followed me here, huh?” Sora sneers.

“I’m not even going to entertain that with a response. Or you for that matter,” You say tiredly, trying to step past her.

“All your friends left you. Look at you all alone,” She says and you roll your eyes with a dry laugh.

“I’d rather be alone than have anything to do with you, Sora,” You reply easily, “I’m leaving now-”

But she sidesteps you again, gripping your forearm and looking at you with so much animosity that it makes your skin crawl. Had she always looked at you like that?

“I can’t believe you just dropped me like nothing. After I gave you everything,” Sora says, as if you had said nothing at all. She’s clearly a little drunk, telltale signs of her drunkenness clear on her face. Her words are slurred and she stumbles a little on her feet. You cringe. You don’t want to have this conversation with her whether she’s sober or drunk.

“You treated me like I was nothing,” You snap, “I don’t want to discuss this with you. Now let me go.”

“Or what? There’s nobody here ‘cept you and me, babe,” She says, her lips twisting into a cruel smirk. Her friends have disappeared and warning bells start to go off in your head. She’s right, all of your friends have dispersed. But you manage to fish your phone out of your purse while she rambles to you and send a text to the groupchat, simply stating “pls help, Sora is here”.

Dread seeps into your pores. You just want to be done with her presence.

“Sora, just let me go. Nothing you say will change anything,” You say heatedly, “Fucking let go of me!”

You try to yank your arm out of her grip but her nails are sharp against your skin.

“I loved you, you know that? I fucking gave you everything, you were my best friend,” Sora hisses, “I just wanted to you be happy. To see that I’d do anything for you.”

It takes a minute for the dust to settle but you suddenly begin to understand. “You hurt me! That’s not friendship or l-love, or anything remotely close to it. Nothing you say will change that. I don’t want you around anymore. Take a hint, Sora,” Your voice is cold and deadly, nothing like what Sora is accustomed to.

“Please, let me go,” You beg softly, “Why won’t you let me go?”

Tears spring into your eyes, both from the force she’s holding you with and from how much this is exhausting you.

“What does he have that’s worth all of this?” Sora hisses.

“It doesn’t matter what he has. I like him and I enjoy spending time with him, that’s all that should matter, and I’m not explaining Jungkook to you,” You say coldly, “You lost the right to know a long time ago. If you took your head out of your ass for two seconds, you’d know that this friendship was over months ago.”

By now, both of your voices have raised in volume and pitch, attracting the attention of bystanders. This makes no sense to you, your head is starting to hurt from the implications of her words. You just want to go home. By now, Yoongi has seen your text and is trying to get to the bar to rescue you from Sora.

“He won’t give you what you need,” Sora exclaims.

“Shut up! Just fucking stop talking about him,” You shout, “I’m so fucking sick of this, just leave me the fuck alone. Your opinion doesn’t matter to me anymore, just drop it!”

You feel the need to defend him though, “He’s kind, he has a big heart a-and, you know what, I don’t need to explain myself to you. Just fucking drop it! Leave me alone!”

“You are so fucking blind! You’ve always been such an oblivious fucking bitch,” She screams at you and your blood goes cold. You’ve seen her angry, but not like this not when her eyes are blown over with rage.

Yoongi’s heart is beating in his ears as he tries to find you- this club is fucking huge, where the hell could you be? He’s already sent a text to Jungkook, telling him that you might be in trouble at the club and that nobody could find you.

“Where is he then? If he’s so kind, he must be here right?”

“What the fuck is your problem? You’ve always had a stick up your ass about him specifically- I mean you’ve always have a stick up your ass, but with him it’s like something crawled up there and died-”

“You couldn’t even cuff him? You dropped me for him and you didn’t even cuff him?”

“That’s none of your business!”

“What are you afraid of, babe?” She sneers cruelly, “Afraid he’ll find something he doesn’t like? Or are you afraid you’ll find something that you don’t like?”

Frustration and hurt boils in your belly, causing wetness to pool in your eyes. You shut your eyes tightly, willing the feeling to go away. With all of the calmness you can muster, you throw her hand off of you and rub your forearm gingerly.

Before you can say anything, her eyes narrow to slits. You don’t even have time to react before you feel a sudden wetness drench the front of your top. Remnants of her drink are splashed on your torso and you gasp, rage flaring through your veins once more. How dare she throw her drink at you? Before you can do anything though, a pair of arms circle your waist and you’re pulled into a strong chest.

You recognize the scent of his cologne immediately and the feel of his leather jacket. “Jungkook,” You mumble, looking up at him. He immediately gives you his jacket and pushes it through your arms wordlessly.

“Hi,” He murmurs, taking in your wide, nervous eyes and the trembling of your hands. He brushes a thumb over your cheek before standing in front of you and you take his hand in yours. Jungkook squeezes reassuringly.

He offers Sora a long, hard look and a shake of his head. She almost balks at his intense gaze. Almost.

“C’mon baby,” Jungkook finally says, “Let’s get out of here.”

“My knight in shining arm-” You shiver once you’re both outside the club, away from the eyes of strangers. You cut your train of thought off when he pulls you close to him, cupping your cheeks with both hands. Worry dots his eyes and he presses his forehead to yours shakily.

“Jungkook?” You say softly, “Is everything-”

He exhales, a shudder felt against your skin. He seems to be at odds with himself, an internal battle dancing in his dark eyes. But Jungkook makes up his mind and cradles your face again, the gentle pads of his thumbs brushing over your cheeks.

“I missed you,” Jungkook croaks, “Shit, I miss you so fucking much. Can I kiss you, baby? Is it okay if I kiss you?”

You nod instantly, breathing out a soft ‘yes’. Whatever this recent development means for both of you, it makes sense. You want this and you want him.

And then he kisses you as if it was meant to be, as if he’s been thinking about your lips every minute of every day- soft, balmy lips against your chapped, red lips. Jungkook swallows your gasp, somehow brushing against the parts of your heart that missed him. His kiss is sweet and desperate as his tongue traces over your teeth before dipping further into your mouth. Your knees weaken slightly, but he holds you steady with one arm around your waist and his other hand cradling your cheek.

You’re overwhelmed by him and from the events of the night. Whatever wetness had gathered in your eyes clings to your lashes before dropping down your cheeks.

“Baby,” Jungkook says softly. He gathers you in his arms, hugging you tightly. You sink into his hold on you, inhaling deeply. The faint thrum of his heart calms you slightly.

“I missed you,” You reply, voice barely above a whisper, “Fuck, I missed you a lot.”

He kisses your forehead with a small smile, the hint of his dimples making you smile, too. Jungkook looks at you as if you’re transparent, trying to study the reason for your wet lashes and the tear stains down your face. A feeling of understanding passes between you both, calming your racing heart and your nerves.

“Jungkook,” You murmur, “Take me home.”

“Yours or mine?”

“Yours,” You reply, not really wanting to be in your home just yet, “It’s only fair, since you spent the night at my place last time, right?”

“I guess I can’t argue with that,” Jungkook chuckles. He kisses you one more time before adjusting his motorcycle helmet over your head. When you wrap your arms around him, you press a kiss to the back of his neck and behind his ear.

He shivers.

Jungkook can tell you’re in your head a little bit, a little quiet and shaky. Even as you head into his bathroom to change into the clothes he’d given you, you couldn’t quite meet his eyes. When you returned from the bathroom with a bare face, you’re lost in thought, biting down on your bottom lip and chewing harshly.

He’d pulled you into his arms, applied his clear balm on your lips, and chided you for treating your lips like that.

You only smiled weakly at him and meekly asked him to hold you under his covers. He doesn’t deny you.

He’d caught the tail end of Sora’s tirade at the club, and he’d begun to understand. He thinks you had begun to understand, too.

“Hey,” Jungkook whispers into your hair, “Do you want to talk, baby?”

“I don’t know what to say,” You admit softly, pressing your hand over his.

“I can talk for both of us,” Jungkook says, kissing your temple, “Can I do that?”

“Yeah,” You mumble, threading your fingers through his and squeezing.

“I heard some of what Sora said,” Jungkook says and you tense up but he wordlessly tells you to relax, “I think in some weird, twisted, fucked up way. She loved you and her way of showing you how was keeping you to herself. It’s shitty, but it made sense to her. But you don’t owe her anything, baby. Not a damn thing.”

“Yeah,” You sigh, “I feel really gross and I don’t know why.”

“That’s alright, baby,” Jungkook says, rubbing your arm, “You didn’t know. That’s not love, not really. You’re safe here.”

“I know,” You say, turning to look at him with a small smile, “I trust you.”

You turn fully in his arms, resting your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. His heartbeat lulls you to sleep, as well as his gentle fingers over your back. It’s so easy with him, and you don’t need to think too much. Just how you like it.

Tags: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

MoM Tags: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 12 FINALE

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: Nope! Notes: How lovely it has been, to go on this journey with you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to every person who has liked, reblogged, or left a kind comment on this story. Combined, you all have genuinely changed my life. I'm writing more than ever, more consistently, and I'm having a blast. So if you like this story, and wish it wasn't ending, well... maybe don't worry too much. There will be a sequel of sorts, same timeline but new reader, instead focusing on Cassandra. Also oops this is hella long. And mostly dialogue. Past Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco, Pt. 6: Elegy, Pt. 7: Harmony, Pt. 8: Obbligato, Pt. 9: Berceuse, Pt. 10b: Hymn AMAB, Pt 11: Cadence

Chapter 12: Cadence (Reprise)

(Cadence: Two chords that mark the end of a song)

Truth be told, she had never expected much of anything to come from this. ‘Twas not that she thought her daughter to be talentless, or that she denied the capabilities of the servant-turned-teacher, rather that she knew just how difficult it was to keep Daniela’s attention for any measure of time. Even as the weeks went by with undeniable progress, there was a part of her awaiting the collapse of it all. How long would this instructor last? How long before they were drained of blood, either for some perceived insult, or merely out of boredom? Surely, in the end, Alcina would not need to lift a single finger.

And yet here she was, at the end of a concert, pride roaring within her chest. What had she missed? What clues had eluded her, what had changed within her child’s nature? She knew that there were hints of deeper affections, fragments of a would-be love, but she had thought them miniscule. Thought that those feelings were doomed to crash and burn, unable to live up to the expectations set by decades of romance novels. Well, maybe they had failed. Maybe, somehow, Alcina had missed something else entirely.

The thought might have sent a shiver down her spine, if she weren’t so readily distracted by praising her youngest child… or by the looming shadow of a life-changing revelation.

“Mother… we need to talk. I… I have a confession to make,” Daniela explains, hesitantly slow, but with a conviction she rarely ever showed. Taken aback by the unexpected announcement, Alcina pauses, silently awaiting some form of elaboration. Instead, Daniela takes her hand, pulling her towards a set of chairs. They sit gingerly, each feeling the weight of terrifying possibilities upon their shoulders. When she at last continues speaking, she does so without a trace of showmanship or false bravado, trading it in for heartfelt sincerity. “I love them. All of this- these lessons, this concert- has been for them. For my sweet, innocent little songbird.” So here it was, the birthplace of her fears, brought forth from her mind into reality.

“I was afraid you would say that,” Alcina muses, leaning back into the chair with a deep sigh. Something itches in the back of her throat, and she yearns for her pipe, or even just a normal cigarette to distract herself. Without one, she is left to metaphorically chew on her thoughts. Realistically, there has to be some way to deal with this, some way that she can convince her daughter of the sheer foolishness of this mess. “Daniela… how can I put this in a way you will understand, hmm?… The two of you have only known each other for three months. There is no chance that you truly love them, or them you. How close can you possibly have become?”

“When have I cared about anything for three whole months? I dedicated myself to-” Daniela is cut off by the sound of the door opening, revealing the rest of her little family. It was guaranteed that they would have heard the conversation from outside, seeing as they were all inhuman, though they perhaps intended to intervene. A single hard glance from both of the room’s occupants convinces them to change their minds. “Wait, Ava, can you get us some tea, please? Something tells me I’ll need a soothing drink soon.” Hesitating in the doorway, the butler in question eyes the both of them, naturally tempted to stay and fill the role of a therapist.

“I do believe my daughter gave you an order, Ava. Don’t tell me you have forgotten the stipulations of your agreement with Mother Miranda?” Alcina interjects. With that said, the butler finally moves, exiting with an apologetic bow. An awkward silence hangs in the air once xe closes the door behind xerself, as Daniela takes a moment to recall her place.

“Three months is a long time for me. I put all of my energy towards both them and what they taught me, almost every single day. Even when their work kept them busy for too long, I still practiced, because I wanted to make them proud! For all my flirting, I’ve never bonded with anyone this way before now,” she says, hating the way her voice gets a little shaky. No matter how much confidence she has in her own writing, it is another thing entirely to be convincing out loud, with a truth she had been hiding for so long. All of her practice had been with lies. Now she had to contest with the hope that the strength of her emotions would be enough. “That song we played together, at the end, they wrote that for me. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“Oh, my dear… I want you to be happy more than anything. But we both know that your ‘history’ is stained with a number of incidents. You have always been absorbed within those books you read, and the fantasies that they provide for you. It is one thing to enjoy these stories on the side, but another matter entirely to let them corrupt your relations with others. As your mother, it is my duty to keep you safe, first and foremost,” Alcina proclaims, sitting up straighter, trying not to let her frown evolve into a full out scowl. Beneath the table, her hands ball into fists, clutched tight to stop herself from breaking the table. In the back of her mind she could think of little other than dismembering that damned piano instructor. Focusing on the discussion at hand, she takes a deep breath before finalizing her point. “You don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, nor what it feels like. Your books are not ideal models for reference. One- or both- of you are going to end up suffering, and that is something I cannot allow, regardless of how ‘happy’ they make you before then.”

“You’re right,” Daniela whispers in defeat… or a feigned version of it. A split second later she’s making eye contact with her mother again, lips curling up into a smile. “I didn’t want to admit it, especially not to someone as attractive, talented, and charming as my Songbird, but I didn’t have to. They understood from the very start. We talked about it, about my expectations and my shitty behavior, and we worked on it. We’re still working on it. Maybe there will be bumps along the way, just like in every relationship, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it in the end. What we have is still real, and they make me want to be a better woman. I know they’ve already helped me make the change.”

Once more the door opens, making the conversation pause, as Ava near-silently brings in the requested tea. If a pin had dropped at that moment, it would have felt as ear-shattering loud as a gong. Every second that passed felt like it dragged on, stretched out by the tension in the room, as though xe was moving in slow motion. The ‘clink’ of ceramic against the table makes xer flinch, almost spilling the tea. Neither Alcina nor Daniela react, or even acknowledge xer presence with anything more than their eyes, instead remaining impassive until xe makes a hasty retreat.

“Use what you’ve learned on someone else, then. Perhaps another one of Miranda’s experiments will someday provide a suitable match. But this ‘songbird’ of yours? They’re nothing. A human, a servant, they are not worth your time, nor are they worth mine. No matter what words or songs they weave, or illusions of grandeur they show you, you will end up getting bored of them. I’m afraid it is inevitable, my dear,” Alcina says, as soon as the door is closed once more. Then she attends to her tea, with the composure of someone convinced that they had just won an argument. On the other hand, Daniela was not so quick to give in, some of her worry melting into anger.

“How can you say that? How can you be sure? We were all human, once! Even Mother Miranda was human. And my Songbird is no mere human- they are wondrous, with flowery prose and lovely melodies, with soft-lipped smiles and reassuring eyes, and don’t even get me started on how beautiful they are!” She rambles, voice getting louder with every word. All at once it is too much for Alcina, who sets down her glass a little too hard, nostrils flaring as she stares at her daughter. When Daniela speaks again, she does so with love coating her tone. “We have weathered each other’s anxieties with no signs of stopping. I promised that we would weather yours.”

“I only want you to be happy. I need you to understand where I am coming from. This may be your longest lasting infatuation so far, but you have yet to honestly convince me that this is any different from your past ‘distractions’. I’m sorry, Daniela, I simply cannot allow this to continue,” Alcina sighs, hating to break her youngest daughter’s heart like this. There was only one thing that Daniela had yet to try. Maybe two, if she was willing to resort to begging.

“Can’t you trust me enough to give us a chance? Cassandra of all people seems to understand. Bela went as far as to lie to you, for our sake! She never does anything she thinks will hurt me, or you, or any of us. Please, mother, please. How can you ever know if what I have will last, if you cut it down now? Are you going to wait forever for some ‘perfect candidate’ for me? And what if that person loves someone else? Or what if the ‘perfect’ person doesn’t exist! What if we’re stuck waiting for them like Mother Miranda waits for another child, hmm? Would you have me spend another century alone, my only memory of genuine romance being poisoned by the thought that you broke us apart?” Daniela’s words ring throughout the chamber, echoing a damning accusation, somehow more bitter than the taste they left in her mouth.

All at once, Alcina’s heart takes a hit like no other. Her hands damn-near tremble, her lungs ache, her lips purse, and her brow furrows. So be it, she thinks.

“Bring this ‘Songbird’ here. Let me talk to them.”

—————————

Goddess, you are practically vibrating at the speed of sound, palms sweaty, nervousness trashing your mind. What the hell had Daniela done? Last thing you knew, she was determined to keep your secret, even if meant being unable to celebrate with you. But now you were getting tugged along by her, while tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She had said something about “mother” and “important”. That was all the context that you had been given. When you round one last corner, pulling up in front of Lady Dimitrescu’s study, you are shown a sight that somehow makes you feel worse: Bela, Cassandra, and Ava are all resting outside of the room. They appear exhausted, and motion for you to be quiet as you approach.

“They’ve been listening in on our conversation,” Daniela admits with a whisper. Then she’s pulling you into the study, ensuring that the door doesn’t open wide enough for the eavesdroppers to get spotted. Something told you that Alcina was already well aware of their presence. “Alright, mother, here is my Songbird. What did you want to ask us?”

“Daniela… leave us. My questions are for ‘Songbird’ alone,” Alcina replies, seemingly confirming the absolute worst of your fears. This was where you would die. By her hand, without your lover by your side, after what could have been the happiest night of your life. Of course. But Daniela is not willing to go without a fight. As soon as the words leave her mother’s mouth, she is moving between the two of you, just as she had when she first called you her teacher. Before she can speak, her mother stands up and stares her down. “Don’t make me ask again- there will not be a third time.” When she still hesitates, it is your turn to be brave.

“Hey, it’s okay, we’ll be okay,” you promise her, reaching out to take her hand. Instantly she’s returning to your side, hand cupping your cheek, eyes filled to the brim with sadness. “Firefly… ‘Tell me love, we shall last until the end of days’. I love you. Nothing is going to change that, not now, not ever. We’ll be okay.” Maybe not now, you think, but you’ll be okay eventually. Cassandra and Bela, and Ava I suppose, will make sure of it.

“Okay. We’ll last until the end of days. I love you too,” Daniela says, swallowing the lump in her throat. With one last kiss she pulls away, wishing that her departure didn’t feel so much like a betrayal. She pauses in the doorway, meeting your gaze, unable to bring herself to move until you give her an accepting nod. The door swings into place with a click, sealing the room and your fate.

“So,” Alcina begins, returning to her seat as she does. For now you stay standing, unsure of just about every part of this situation, especially your upcoming role in it. “You have been deceiving me. That alone is a crime worthy of severe punishment, and yet you stooped so low as to do far, far more. I had hoped you had, somehow, managed to teach my daughter a real lesson, that you had inspired a love of music in her, that you had made an honest difference in the way she learns. But all this time… it has been nothing more than a ruse.” The last word comes out dipped in venom, acidic enough to make you flinch. Thankfully, your beloved was not the only person who had a gift with words. More than that, this was a topic that you had spent numerous nights thinking about, making you as prepared as you could ever hope to be.

“You know, as much as I desire to claim that I am that interesting, or that Daniela felt so strongly from the very start, I can do no such thing. The truth is this: Music is what brought us together in the first place. It was the catalyst for our first real interaction, the first time she ever looked at me as more than just another servant or bloodbag. We bonded because of it, and so when we went to play together, to learn, Daniela honestly did connect to it,” you explain, despite the fire in Alcina’s expression. To your surprise, she does not interrupt you, and you take it as permission to keep going. Which was very good, considering that being nervous only made you ramble more. “Music is something we’ve shared for the entirety of our relationship. Even if it’s not something she would do much of on her own, I know that she’s grown to care for it more than she might be willing to admit. And, well…

“Even if you decide that what I’ve done is unforgivable, even if I’m destined to die within the hour, I know in my heart that everything the two of us worked on still matters. Because, like it or not, she is capable of growth, of change, of progress. And even if I die, someone else will come afterwards. Daniela will get to use music as a way to forge connections for the rest of her life, now that she knows it works, now that she knows how it works. And every goddamn time that she plays, or Bela plays, or you play, she’s going to remember me. She’ll remember every moment we spent together, every piece we ever played. I’ll live on in the melodies we made. In the song that you can’t quite place, that gets stuck on loop in your head. In the song the maids sing to themselves between shifts. In the quiet evening when the rain against the window feels so much like a familiar rhythm that your daughters can’t help but start humming along, without even thinking, muscle memories in sync.”

“Are you trying to convince me that there’s no point in killing you? That, regardless, you will be in my life until the end of time?” Alcina’s eyes are narrowed, but there isn’t even a hint of anger in her tone. Just curiosity.

“No, not really. Guess I’m just making peace with my fate the best way I know how- by remembering the echoes I’ll leave behind,” you answer, pausing to wipe a few tears from your eyes. All you can think about is how much Daniela will miss you. How much pain you think she’ll go through. Because at this point, who are you trying to fool with your hope? Yourself, or the people listening?

“Hmm. I think I understand. Now, tell me… what was that you said to my daughter a minute ago, before she left the room? It sounded familiar, though I cannot place it,” Alcina questions, idly toying with her glass of tea. You’re not entirely sure why it matters to her, but you have no qualms delaying the inevitable by answering. Besides, it was a chance to talk about how much you loved Daniela (and you’d never skip such an opportunity).

“It’s a line from a poem she wrote for me. “Tell me love, we shall last until the end of days”. A promise. The song Daniela and I played together… I wrote it in response. My way of doing what she asked of me, I guess. Like I said, she’ll always have the music we shared,” you answer, unable to stop yourself from smiling.

“Damn this… I can hardly believe I am asking this, yet I feel I have no choice: Tell me, do you love my daughter? Do you honestly, with your entire being, desire a future with her? Or was this a game of survival you couldn’t afford to lose, that turned out to be more ‘fun’ than you had anticipated? Show me your heart, as it is, bare as it would be if I tore it from your chest, this very moment.” There’s no room for argument in her voice, using the very same tone she reserved for maidens who got a tad too close to refusing her.

“Alright. It was a game. At first. Daniela wanted a distraction, something to entertain her. I didn’t want to die, like I had heard so many of her ‘playmates’ did. I can’t tell you when things changed, at least not for her,” you confess, with a shaky breath. Did that make you a monster? One worthy of death? If so, you wondered if it actually made you more fit to date Daniela. “For me… I just remember her smiling wide at me, hand on my cheek, having just cracked some lame joke. Next thing I knew, well, I knew. We had a spark of something, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to make her happy, you know? All the sudden there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I just wanted to see that smile again, everyday for the rest of my life.

“To answer your question: Yes. Goddess, yes. A thousand times yes. A ‘yes’ for every smile she’s ever shown me, for every butterfly in my stomach, for every time she’s held my hand, for every breath she’s stolen from my lungs, and for every single time my heart has skipped a beat in her name. I love her. I know we haven’t been together long, but the things I feel are undeniable. I will give her every part of myself, for as long as she wants me, for as long as I am blessed to live,” you pour your heart out, weaving your heartbeat into every turn of phrase, spilling your lifeblood onto the very conversation.

“And what will you do if she does change her mind? If she grows bored of you, as she has done with a dozen others?” Alcina counters without hesitation.

“I will weep. I will fall to my knees, and mourn this beautiful thing. But I will cherish every memory she leaves to me. Every moment where I am hers is a moment worth living, worth remembering. It will be better to have loved her with all my heart for a little slice of her immortality, than to love another, lesser so, for all of my life.” With that, Alcina sets her empty glass of tea onto the table, eying you with an unreadable expression. Something seems to stir in her chest, and at last the mask crumbles. She smiles.

“I see. Daniela, you may come back in now. Do not bother pretending that you have not been eavesdropping.” Not even a full second passes before the door opens, revealing a shaking Daniela, both of her sisters quite visible behind her (though they quickly move out of frame, leaving behind Ava, who gives a cheesy thumbs up as the door closes in xer face). She rushes to your side, taking your hand, looking stunned that you were still alive. But what shocks her more is what her mother says… “Of all the women I have ever known, family or otherwise, you are, perhaps, the most determined. Normally only in… ‘spurts’. Yet here you are, defying what I have come to expect of you. It almost feels as if I have been fooling myself this whole time, falsely believing that there is more than one possible outcome. So, ‘Songbird’, I say this: Three months ago, I agreed to give you a chance to prove yourself worthy of my daughter, for the sake of her happiness. Now, I suppose it is only fair that I do so once more.”

“Wait. Are you saying-” Daniela is once again cut off by her mother, who seems eager to avoid a trademark rant.

“Yes, yes I am. For the time being, the two of you have my blessing. I cannot say that I am entirely convinced of your chances at success, but, having seen the strength of your affections for one another, I sincerely hope that you will prove me wrong. Now come here, Daniela. I never got to finish telling you what I thought of your concert…”

—————————

In the glowing comfort of your girlfriend’s room, with the fireplace keeping things warm and cozy, you lay with your head against Daniela’s chest. One of her hands absentmindedly plays with your hair, and you release a sigh of bliss. Ava had assured you that xe would let Daphne know the good news, as xe thought that having one of the castle ladies visiting the servants’ quarters might cause a stir (and Daniela was far from willing to let go of you so soon). Now the two of you were just enjoying time holding each other close. Regardless of Alcina’s concerns, you knew that everything would be looking up from here. Assuming that Daniela didn’t have any more surprise confessions to involve you with.

“That was one hell of a surprise, Firefly. But I’m glad we don’t have to hide anymore. I love you, and I don’t know how long I could have survived without being open with it,” you say, a light teasing to your voice. Beneath you, Daniela chuckles, but holds you just a bit tighter. Then she places the softest of kisses to your forehead. “I’m always gonna love you, Firefly.”

“Until the end of days?” She asks, in a delighted whisper, grin practically audible.

“Until the end of days.”

—————————

Elsewhere in the castle, a caring mother takes another long, hungry drink from her glass of wine, staring intently into the fireplace. By her side is a silver-haired servant, who wordlessly watches her every move.

“There’s still a chance that this will all end horribly. Only time will tell, of course… but I can’t help worrying for her, she’s my daughter,” Alcina proclaims, gripping the glass hard enough for a web of cracks to form along its bell. But it does not fully shatter. No, it remains just steady enough to still be of use to her. For now. “Of course, you knew about this all along, didn’t you, Ava?... I know that you value how close you are with my children, and I know that they trust in you as much as I do… but if there are relationships or entanglements that I am unaware of, I expect you to tell me, or there will have to be consequences, regardless of your affiliation with Mother Miranda. Do you understand?”

Sighing, the mute servant pulls a notebook from xer pocket, opening it up to pen in a fresh script. There’s much tension in the air, and it only gets worse when Alcina catches a glimpse at what the note reads. As xe hands it to her, she scowls, and the wine glass fully breaks into countless shards. Immediately, Ava gets to work, picking up the largest of fragments with xer bare hands, refusing to complain about the resulting cuts. All the while Alcina stares into the fire, thoughts racing, wondering if maybe this time she could end her daughter’s problem before it was too late. Beginning to brainstorm ideas, she sets the notebook aside. Inside, in perfectly penned cursive, is a very, very dangerous piece of knowledge. The sort that could affect not only Castle Dimitrescu, but the entire village.

“In that case… there’s something you need to know about Cassandra- and Mother Miranda’s lovely little ‘pet’.”

[2dmenenthusiast]

I can't remember if I sent this to you already but could I request headcanons for aizawa, hizashi and Toshinori finding their s/o that has a chipmunk quirk that makes her fall into hibernation when it's too cold (kinda like tsu) but when the guys find her with her heart rate low and her breathing shallow maybe they freak a little bc she didn't tell them about that part of her quirk yet

omggggg this idea is literally so cute I got so excited when I first read it. Also thank you love for comin through with the requests, I really appreciate it! <3 I also hella struggled cuz like, what can someone with a chipmunk quirk do? Stuff their cheeks? Climb up trees? Also I legit forgot what a chipmunk even looked like I had to look it up lmaoooo im so dumb it hurts

Aizawa is an intimidating fella, okay

So when you first told him about your quirk, you were lowkey embarrassed?

Like, here’s this grown-ass man with a badass quirk who is more than capable of taking down villains and defending himself, and here you are just-

🐿️

But you know what’s great about this man? He couldn’t give less of a shit about your quirk or anything like that. He strikes me as the type to care more about personality than anything else

concealing your quirk is fairly easy. People probably wouldn’t even know you had one if it wasn’t for the small fluffy ears popping out of the top of your head, and even then you could just cover them with a hat

But that doesn’t mean you don’t experience the effects of your own quirk just because it’s subtle

You have a mutant type quirk, so you experience certain things that actual chipmunks do

Sometimes you won’t even notice that you’re stuffing your cheeks to full capacity with whatever you’re eating before Aizawa has to cut you off and just be like

“y/n. Chew.”

Or when you’re rushing, you’re usually going so fast that Aizawa can barely even see you zooming from room to room

you can also get kinda skittish at times, your ears twitching whenever you hear a noise that sounds weird or out of place, and you’ll just look at Aizawa with wide eyes until he checks out what made a noise that he could barely hear

“y/n, it was just some kids outside.”

“Oh... sorry, Sho.”

he wants to be frustrated, but he knows it’s not your fault. And honestly? He finds you so cute that he can’t really stay mad at you

So he’ll just let out a huff before patting your head lovingly, grazing his fingers over your ears (Which he KNOWS are sensitive, that asshole)

Experiencing long periods of deep sleep is also a thing. You wouldn’t call it hibernation cuz you still have to do normal, everyday things, but there are times during the winter where you’ll sleep for a few days in a row and only get up to go to the bathroom or eat

And since you can’t actually burrow into the floor of your home, you usually make a blanket fort in the corner of your bedroom and stuff all of the pillows and blankets you can in there until it’s nice and warm, ready for you to bury yourself in

and you might’ve left that little part of your quirk out when you moved in together. whoops

So when Shouta comes home and sees the living room couch void of all of its pillows, he’s not expecting to walk into your shared bedroom and see you curled up in a blanket fort

he’s a bit curious at first, just kinda looking at you like “All right, I guess this is normal?”

and he’ll crouch down and kinda examine you for a bit before he eventually wonders if you’re even breathing? You’re burried under blankets, so he can’t really see your chest moving

eventually he’ll check and see that your breathing is abnormally slow and he kinda just... pauses and checks again to make sure he’s not going crazy.

and he wont deny that he kinda freaks out at first, his immediate thought being that he needs to get you out of there, but the second he grabs the blankets to pull them off of you he’s like wait... hold up.

then it all clicks

you’re a mutant with a chipmunk quirk...

c h i p m u n k

safe to say he’s relieved, so he just lets you be and goes about his day. 

When you wake up a few hours later to go to the bathroom, you come out of the bedroom with your clothes practically on backwards, rubbing at your eyes and stumbling past Aizawa like he’s not even there. And when you’re done, it’s right back to sleep you go

“Back to bed?” Aizawa would ask as he watches you with an amused smirk on his face

“Mhm.”

“Okay. Goodnight, y/n”

“Mm’night.

Listen, when he first heard of your quirk, he thought it was the cutest shit ever

“Your quirk is Chipmunk?! That’s SOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUTE!”

No he’s legit your number one hype man. If you think your quirk is lame, he’s literally shouting at you how cool he thinks you are.

“You can stuff so much food in your mouth, y/n! And that’s pretty dope if you ask me! I’m totally jealous!”

speaking of food, he’ll just randomly ask you to shove as much as you can of one thing in your cheeks until they’re at full capacity.

“Hey y/n, think you can shove this whole pack of jumbo marshmallows in your cheeks?”

“But... I just bought those :(”

“I’ll buy you more, LET’S DO THIS!!!”

also asks you the dumbest questions omg. You don’t know if he’s genuinely curious or if he’s just doing it to piss you off

“So do you just eat nuts all day?”

“You’ve seen me eat, Hizashi. No.”

“Do you prefer to sleep in trees?”

“That would be extremely uncomfortable.”

“Ooh you’d probably be great frieds with Kamui Woods then.”

“Did you not hear what I just said?”

He also REALLY likes your ears. Like an unhealthy amount? Whenever you’re around he literally wont stop touching them and even tugs on them playfully until you’re swatting at his hands and telling him to go away

He can’t help that they’re so cute :(

so on a particuallry cold day in winter when he has to go to work at the school, he leaves your home while you’re sleeping, only to come home hours later to find you... still sleeping?

You haven’t moved an inch the entire time he’s been gone, so needless to say, he’s a litle concerned.

and when he checks to see if you’re still alive only to discover your heart rate is super slow, he’s A LOT concerned

His brain just goes to the most dramatic thing he can think of, which is that you’re in some weird coma and need to wake up

so rather than, i dont know, gently shaking you awake like a normal person, he grabs you buy your shoulders and starts shaking you violently while shouting your name loud as fuck

“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

you literally wake up so violently, you sit right up and shove him off of you before asking what’s wrong with him, pretty sure you’ve officially gone deaf

He then explains that he thought you were in a coma or something cuz your heartbeat was so slow, and at that point you just roll your eyes because of course he would come up with this ridiculous conclusion

“Hizashi, my quirk is chipmunk and it’s a mutation quirk.”

He doesn’t even get what you’re getting at, just tilting his head in confusion as he squints at you.

“What do chipmunks do in the winter, babe?”

Cue more confused squinting

“Oh my god, they hibernate, you headass.”

it finally clicks and the look on his face makes it seem like he just learned the secret of the universe, and afterwards he’s going on about how cool that is while you just roll your eyes and lay back down to try and go back to sleep, bringing the blanket over your head to try and drown him out

He eventually gets the hint and leaves, but after a while, you kinda feel bad for blowing up on him. He was just concerned and didn’t fully understand your quirk

so letting out a huff, you pull the blanket down and call out his name, to which he immediately runs to you at the sound of, asking you what you need

you just wordlessly lift up the blanket to expose the empty side of the bed, and oh boy, the size of the grin he gets on his face is unmatched

immediately throws off his hero costume so that you can both be comfortable and jumps into bed with you, holding you impossibly close

you fall asleep in a matter of minutes while he just looks at you fondly, hand soothingly rubbing your back.

Just like the other two, he finds you incredibly cute. Like mans is in love, okay?

everytime he sees your little ears twitch, he just gets the strongest urge to touch them, but he never does without your consent becuase he knows how sensitive they are.

“Uh... y/n, do you mind if I... touched your ears?” 

Baby probably feels so awkward asking ugh PLEASE REASSURE HIM

“Oh? Yeah, of course, Toshi. Knock yourself out.”

oooh he’s excited. He’ll be super gentle about it, just lightly grazing them with his fingers before gently rubbing them between his thumb and forefinger

and at that point you’re littlerally melting, practically falling into him because him caressing your ears like this feels absolutely amazing

When he sees how it’s affecting you, he immediately becomes a blushing mess and apologizes, but you just hug him and tell him it’s okay and that you liked it

yeah he definitely rubs your ears whenever you’re feeling stressed or anxious because it’s become a quick way to relax you

only when he does it though. If anyone else randomly touches your ears, you get kinda uncomfortable

Just because they don’t look human doesn’t mean they still weren’t a part of you, dammit

Anyways, one day when you’re waiting for Toshi to come back home, you’ve got yourself wrapped up like a burrito in your blanket, sitting on the couch as you watched tv

it had been snowing all day, but luckily Toshinori had turned up the thermostat before he left, remembering how you mentioned that you’re not a huge fan of the cold

unfortunately for you, the harsh weather had no trouble taking out the power, leaving you in the dark and the cold

it didn’t take long for the cold to start seeping in through the cracks in the windows, and you quickly began to grow tired before you inevitibly passed out on the couch, still wrapped tightly in your blanket

When Toshi gets home and sees you on the couch, his first reaction is “aw, how cute.”

but then when he comes up to you and starts calling out your name to try and wake you up and you just won’t, and then he notices how much your breathing has slowed down, he quickly growns concerened.

He’s not in full panic mode yet, but he’s getting there, and he’s quick to crouch down to your level and grab your shoulders to start shaking you to wake you up

which you do, blinking groggily at him like you weren’t just in full hibernation mode

“Oh... Hey, Toshi,” you mumble, and you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down so that you can nuzzle yourself into his warm chest

He’s not able to ask you about what happened to you before you’ve already fallen back asleep, and when the power comes back on a few minutes later, he does a quick google search on chipmunks and mutant quirks before putting two and two together

Now he’s thinking of all the ways he could make you something to burrow into during those especially cold winters

[wystericwoes]

𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝 𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕠:

・❥Fic type: head canons

・❥Fanbase: JJK

・❥Fluff, Smut

・❥requested by: no-one I’m just bored

・❥word count: 1.8k

This post is pretty tame- Implied Fem reader but GN. will mostly be fluff and angst?? Some smutty HC

These are my genuine thoughts for how the guys would be canonically in relationships.

The men will be in this order

-Yuuji-

-Megumi

-Sukuna-

-Gojo-

-nanami

-Toji (daddy)

-Inumaki (my baby)

YUUJI:

-the hard but simple truth is that he struggles to balance you and work. He knows his death is inevitable and struggles to decide between the betterment of mankind or you.

-his selflessness often gets in the way of the best choices. He'd easily throw himself under a bus for you, but also he would do that for anyone. It makes you feel less important knowing he'd sacrifice himself just as much for a stranger on the street as the person he's dating.

-says I love you way too fast

-has little to no experience

-sukuna is something that has always scared you. It's why you're too scared to do anything sexual with him, because you know he could be overpowered

-gets flustered easily and gets flirted with a lot. He's really oblivious to girls flirting with him in public so he goes along with it and you usually have to slide along and drag him away- either that or he knows and likes the attention

MEGUMI:

-I wouldn't say he's boring but-

-I can’t lie He's hella boring. Mostly by boring I mean you have to initiate EVERYTHING— mans is so damn fragile with you for no reason. I love him so much but he won’t take initiative if his life depended on it

I feel like out of all the JJK men he's one of the most likely to date a POC or chubby girl. Because he doesn't give af abt body types or abt looks. You're too skinny? Too fat? Nose to big? Eyebrows to thick or to thin? So??? Society made constructs for Beauty and nothing matters in the end anyway. He literally doesn't care about looks.

- Megumi is smart. And he knows that human emotion is inevitable. But he likes to avoid it because he’s mature enough to realize that it’s too risky

-he’s not scared of being hurt he’s scared of hurting someone

-His ideal type would be an honest and genuine person. He sees that as a truly good soul- and thinks it’s less common and appreciated now in society

-truly enjoys deep philosophical conversations

-unintentional is a feminist and no I will not explain

-I truly 100% believe this and will stand by it— out of all characters in JJK, megumis the most likely to fall in love. He probably believes in one perfect person for the rest of his life

-he’d be super shy and awkward on dates.

-would try to keep your ordinary citizen life as far away from his as possible. He doesn’t let you meet his friends or family- especially gojo.

SUKUNA:

😟📸📸📸

*aims camera at self*

-get some help

-I simp for him too

-I need a therapist

-but at least I can admit it

-yeah I see you 📸

-absolutely never has or will care about you. To him he keeps you around purely for entertainment or sexual needs. And even then you're lucky that he doesn't get bored of you

-maybe you were a sacrifice to his temple or whatever- maybe if it took place in modern canon then he was just bored

-definitely has SA’d you or dubious  consensual situations

-Does not and will not ever care about you

-smexy time is painful, he hurts you without consequence because he can heal you. He keeps you alive as a stress reliever for sexual things, 99% of the time it's completely random and unconsensual. He'd probably get bored of you if you did consent or matched his energy

(I would match his energy)

-beats you one inch within your life a lot because it gets him turned on

-has almost killed you more times than any of his twenty fingered hands can count

-never used protection

(I JUST FOUND OUT HIS MARKS ARENT CANON ITS JUST SO THE AUDIENCE KNOWS WHOS WHO IM DEVASTATED 😀✋🏼)

GOJO:

-y'know those sour patch kids commercials? First they're sour, then they're sweet. He's like that but reversed

- Roses, gifts, lots of emoji texts with all the hearts and the 🥺 emoji- cute dates and sneaking off of work to see you.

-(if you’re even lucky enough to MAKE him start dating)

-but then you get past the puppy love phase and you see the truth behind him. He's narcissistic, he flirts a lot and gets flirted with, you live solely to make himself feel better. Not entirely in a sexual way, but in a god complex way.

-he gaslights and manipulates, he's secretive and never tells you the full truth, he trusts no one but himself. And I wouldn't put it past him to cheat (this is canon that he doesn’t date because he can’t commit)

-knows how to act cute and nice and funny, but in reality doesn't care.

-god complex with a narcissistic personality disorder and maybe a lil Bipolar

-expects to know who all your friends are and doesn't like you hanging out with guy friends. But will kiss other girls when drunk. “Drunk”

-never fully trusts you, will use his abilities on you without your consent or knowledge

-just overall, really pretty and would sit in his face 110% but is incredibly toxic. And it's just how he is, you can't fix him. Good for a quick hook up but my mans is no simp and won’t settle for NOBODY

-better as a fuck buddy tbh try not to catch feelings

-don’t worry I’ll settle for you tho <3

Nanami:

(I'm conflicted with this one)

-he sees relationships as an unnecessary yet essential part to any person. A chore basically. He only will marry a woman to carry on a bloodline of children and tries not to fall in love. (But let’s assume he does for these Hc’s)

-, he's incredibly slow burn and stingy with PA.

-probably ends up planning on getting married in his 30's

-prioritizes his work over anything else. Workaholic.

-probably says "we made love" instead of sex.

-he also will be like "want me to put my penis in your vagina" like- sir

(I mean yes but- this isn’t health class 😭)

-I love nanami so I'm gonna say this because I wanna get my hopes up: if he is actually with someone and loves them, he's genuinely so sweet. I feel like he's more inexperienced because he's never prioritized relationships. (Don't get me wrong he gets could get tons of bitches if he wanted) but he's saving himself for his future partner.

-hand kisses, forehead kisses, sweethearts cradle cuddles.

-he would switch up so fast for you

Gojo: "wanna hang out now and do something???? Please please please please??"

Nanami: "absolutely not. Im incredibly busy. Please let me focus for the time being so I can do my very important work."

Phone rings

Nanami: "hello?... yes. Mmhm... be there in five. Love you too, bye."

Gojo: *what the fuck*

-honestly I feel like he just wouldn't give a fuck overall and acts how he wants with you. But he may dial it back to avoid gojo being obnoxious.

-like megumi he likes deep meaningful connections that harbor real truth and trust. And also like megumi he knows he has human emotions, but he resents them. He knows that one day falling in love will be inevitable, plus carrying on his bloodline.

-overall 10/10 would date this man. No- I would MARRY him. Not date. Idk it just works

DADD- I MEAN TOJI:

-I call this man daddy but he 100% wouldn't keep you around long enough for that

-he doesn't make love he fucks. Never has been in love and if he has it was once and never will happen again

-has fuck buddies for bad days at work

-the worm probably watches

-gives me hard sugar daddy vibes- but like he gives you gifts only for sex. Never just money for being there- he believes in "I give you head you give me head" fair exchanges but more like (I give you head you give me infinite head for a month) he doesn’t do favors often

-if he does start to get attached he cuts you off

- pays for pornhub premium

-breeding kink but never wants to get you pregnant (I won't explain)

-tries to bite the condom wrapper off sexily but tears the condom with his teeth and has to get a new one butt ass naked

-If you ever laugh at him or he sees you happy he gets really pissy for some reason and will do something not-so-consensually

-choking and degradation

-best beware of when he's drunk. He will hit you, and not in the way you like 📸

-If you have daddy issues and low self worth he's the man for you.

^^(🙋‍♀️)

INUMAKI

-"hey I like you, wanna hang out sometime maybe?"

-"cooties."

(Jk)

-I love him so maybe I'm biased but-

-he's pretty. Like I feel like he's one of the few characters that's actually canonically attractive.

-definitely is smooth and mostly hairless- shaves his legs probably and paints his nails and wears skirts and crop tops in a non toxic masculine way. He’s 100% straight but he’s just confident in his sexuality and doesn’t care about societal gender norms.

-He hates the term “fem boy” for some reason like- you made a joke about it and he pulled down the mask with an angry expression and that’s when you shoulda known you fucked up 💀💀

-he's a little pervert definitely a panty Theif and you get to comedically knock him out like in those anime moments and he just lays there like 🧍🏼ok

-gives me very much "never had a girlfriend but held hands once with a girl in kindergarten vibes

-don't ask but he's good at giving head I just know ok

-can't imagine him married but he would have a very very Very VERY long term gf. Probably blushes at the mention of marriage.

-realistically, doesn't think he's worth dating someone. I feel like he'd have low self esteem and his curse definitely gets in the way

-would make cute little playlists with titles like "I"   "Really love"   "You" and then play them in order to relay cute messages

-love language is gifts and acts of service (especially gifts. You'll come back after a mission and there's a handmade matching bracelet or a shit ton of sweets on your bed)

-you don't know how he sneaks into your room to steal shit, but everything goes missing. Makeup brushes, clothes, underwear, jewelry, pencils?? He's like a bird who collects shiny things and puts it in its nest.

-Doesnt let himself get too attached to you. He wants to protect you from him and wants someone for you that isn't cursed. He probably gets paranoid you'd leave him

-you always tell him you love his voice and it makes him blush

-back to the earlier one ^^ where I said he’s really good at giving head? The reason why is because he has low self esteem and doesn’t think he deserves you, so he compensates you living him by pleasuring you

-switch leaning bottom/mommy kink or definitely orgasm denial and edging.

-very vocal in bed. Gets flustered by the noises he makes like hon it’s ok I swear 😭

-he’s my second favorite character so I’m biased but I don’t give a shit marry me

[felswritingfire]

Relationship Headcanons (SFW)

Kaioh Retsu:

I'd like to start this off that he'd be really picky with his partner. Like, super picky not because he means to- it's just diffcult for him to be genuinely attracted to someone enough to pursue a relationship with them.

Looks aren't all that important to him, but personality is an extremely important aspect. He prefers people that are a tad more outgoing, but knows when to reign in their excitableness- that being said he also really likes shyer people as well; he thinks that they're very cute (what I'm getting at is that I high-key headcanon him as Pansexual-)

Before he got with you, he made sure that you understood his fighting career and how dangerous it could be. He'd leave it up to you if you'd like to pursue a relationship after he tells you, but he'll respect your decision if you say no. But he will be e l a t e d if you say yes

Away from that, though, when he does find a partner that he wishes to persue a relationship with- he is super, super sweet!

He's an extremely considerate and understanding partner and just really wants to prioratize you're comfort

If you want a more laid back partner, he is your man- there's barely any arguements in the relationship, and if there is anything bothering you and/or him, he'll bring it up in a conversation so you guys can talk about it

It takes him a bit to be completely open to physical affection, even when he does get used to it, he's still a soft maybe on PDA; he won't hesitate to hold your hand tho. He loves holding your hand. LOVES IT.

The first time he held your hand though, it was about 1 1/2 months into the relationship (no one else knew about your relationship prior to this), and Katsumi, Katou and Doppo almost shit themselves because "oH MY GOD, RETSU'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND/SIGNIFICANT OTHER! RETSU'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND/SIGNIFICANT OTHER! RETSU'S GOT A GIRLFRIE-/BOYFRIE-/SIGNIFICA-" (and yes, I have a feeling these three have just enough dumbass bastard vibes enough to chant this)

Retsu was red for a week because these guys are (lovable) assholes. And Katou gets socked in the face because he just straight up went: "So, you bend them over ye-" and then he got a broken nose

On a different note, he's really touchy-feely in private

HE LOVES COOKING FOR YOU

And if you can cook- then, baby, it's partner cooking

You are 10/10 meeting his master, he's also excited when you guys get along

You also end up becoming well acquainted with the others (Katsumi, Doppo, Baki, Etc.) If you weren't already. And, boy, do you end up with some life long friends from that (and good training partners if you fight!).

Even if you do fight, he's protective of you. He'd try to sheild you from anything- even Yujiro if you, God forbid, caught his attention (this could be from just being a pretty face that appeals to him or a SUPER strong fighter that he wants to be his pray). This man is very ride or die.

If you're with him for the Convict Arc, and you are a skilled fighter, be prepared for the fact that he almost shit himself if one of them attacks you. It's their funeral if they end up hurting you- no matter how bad- they're dead.

Now you manage to fuck one of their shits up? He is both simultaneously worried about you, proud of you and being like: Oh shit that's hot-

Retsu doesn't get jealous. He gets mad if someone is trying to come onto you and making you uncomfortable and will not hesitate to get in their face. But not jealous. He's a man who is every comfortable with himself and the relationship. He wouldn't have started dating you if he had even the slightest inkling that you were going to cheat on him.

No matter how tall or short his partner is, he likes to rest his face on their chest.

Jack Hanma:

You two, MOST LIKELY, met a Restaurant- like, maybe you got stood up by some asshole and you just happen to notice this monster of a dude sitting at the table right next to you shoving an entire steak in his mouth, holy shit?????

When he catches you staring at him in bewilderment, he just gingerly dabs his mouth with his napkin and says, "What you've never see someone eat before?"

"Oh, I've seen that plenty of times- I've just never seen someone shove a whole steak into their mouth." You snark back.

He's honestly a little flustered on the inside, because yeah, you're right. But on the other hand, this (he thinks) is prime flirting time. So then you guys hit it off from there and by the end of the night you two have become friends and exchanged numbers.

If you have daddy issues too, prepare to bond over them, because he will not hesitate to bitch about his dad, because fuck that guy

Once you do get in a relationship, you realize Jack is a very quiet lover. He's calm and collected and he doesn't say much

But he listens and you know he does because he'll hum and grunt, stealing little glances at you if you're chattering away

He's really attached to you and is another extremely sweet partner

He's also really observant and will snag things that he knows you've been eyeing

Meeting his little brother is a must, you gotta meet Baki and be approved, which you most likely will be because Baki is a super sweet dude and he knows that his brother would pick an asshole to date

He dreads the day that his dad will meet you, because it'll happen inevitably, but he doesn't want you to happen

When it does happen I feel that it's a similar situation to Baki and Kozue, the only difference is is that Jack is hella pissed and on the verge of going ballistic, because what the fuck, dad???? ME AND MY S/O WERE HAVING A MOMENT, ASSHOLE-

He's a soft maybe on PDA, it reay depends on the time of day with him

When he is in a mood though, he'll hold your hand or wrap an arm around you to keep you close

He likes to lay his head in you lap at home and just stare up at you

You're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen

Likes to give you kisses on your cheek and forehead

He also likes to pick you up and carry you: you talking your friend? Sorry, baby, it's time to go. Shopping? I don't want to be here any more and I'm bored, let's go. My dad's here? TIME TO SKADDADLE, BABE.

He's huge, so I doubt your taller then him, but, hey, I might be wrong, but he really likes pulling you into him and holding you to his chest

He takes you out on dates to fancy resturaunts

He has some insecurities from whenever he was young, so when he gets jealous he gets HEATED

Like he is ready to kill a man, pls do not push his buttons when he's like this, just take him out of the situation and shower him in love snd affection because he worries he's not good enough

Please smooch him. He's sweet

If you're a fighter, he'll spar with you, but very gently, which may or may not piss you off tbh

But he means well

Absolutly head over heels for you

Hector Doyle:

Ok, I want to say, Doyle is a very tricky man who loves his teasing.

It'd be pretty "obvious", from his stand point, if he had a thing for you and wanted to pursue you. To you and everyone around you though, he just kinda comes off as,,,,a creepy dude???

Like, this poor guy has the shittiest time with... Personal interactions, unless it's fighting or social situations where he has a "word template" to go off of. He's just a real awkward dude and he kinda, low-key, has no tact sometimes; like when he just stares at you from across that Café you like to go to like some sort of freaky stalker guy planning to kill you. It doesn't help that you two bump into each other a lot and he just blurts out "You're hair looks really soft" BUT YOU TWO DON'T REALLY KNOW EACH OTHER AND WHY IS THIS DUDE TALKING ABOUT TOUCHING YOUR HAIR??????

When you two do, somehow, finally manage to talk to one another, he explains all the freaky stares and comments and he's like obviously I was flirting? Isn't that how it's done?

No Doyle. That is not how it's done.

Once you two manage to establish a relationship, it's kinda up to you to make a lot of the first moves again, Doyle is very ignorant to how social interaction works, this applies to relationship etiquette as well. That being said though, he has some sort of knowledge about how relationships work from books and shows, that also being said, his version of relationships is probably outdated because of the type of books and shows he watches/reads (Pride and Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, The Picture of Dorian Grey, etc.)

You gotta be prepared to put in the work to reap the rewards in this relationship-which are a lot actually!

For one thing, he is an extremely loyal partner and a really good listener (this not pertaining to the end of season 3, you know?) And he surprisingly has really good advice to offer

And! Once he figures out flirting, he's really good at it! He end up flustering you a lot, so be ready for that.

He's an unintentional hard yes on PDA. He just doesn't care. Your his and he's yours- he can smooch you when he wants. BUT, he is still really weary of this since he is a convict and he doesn't want you to be used against him. Or get hurt because of him. But he does end up touching you in whatever ways he can to be close to you: so, a slight bump of the hands her; maybe if you two are in a crowded enough bar, his hand caressing your lower back or resting in your back pocket; feet resting on top of one another under the table in the very back of that Café where no one can see you two-

At home it's a completely different situation- he likes to grab your hips and press you against the wall and just kiss the ever loving F U C K out of you; his hands will wonder and this usually leads to some fun times, but sometimes it just ends in some cute ass cuddles.

And might I just add on to the whole Convict part: he didn't tell you that he was a deathrow inmate until the fourth date. And he just brought it up casually, on the inside he was nervous as hell, but on the outside he's like, normal calm and collected Doyle (I mean, if you didn't already know).

Doyle gets jealous every once in a while, but it's still pretty rare, usually he just, kinda shooes them off. But, when those rare moments do occur, get ready for a blood bath because whoever thought it was smart enough to try and flirt with you is either getting a verbal beating of a life time or a physical one. And let me tell you, either one is crippling, one just means you can walk away in tears while the other you're most likely dead

After that mess Doyle'll drag your ass out of there and take you back to the apartment where he's even more touchy then usual.

He tries his absolute hardest to shield you away from the other convicts. He doesn't trust any of them and is so, so afraid one of them will do something to you.

Similarly with Retsu, even if you do fight he'll be protective of you, but he'll most likely be more relaxed about it if you can fight.

In that same vein, he'd totally spar with you. And if it gets heated that just means he manipulate it into some fun times ;)

Really like movie night as a date night. He's been exposed to so many mainstream shows/movies because of you, it's great.

Sikorsky:

THIS BITCH- THIS SUAVE BITCH-

He walked into wherever you were and pinpointed you, out everyone else in the room, as the hottest piece of ass in there. Waited for you to notice the heavy weight of a heated gaze on you, look up and make eye contact with him before he gives you this lazy smirk and saunters, easy, slow steps, with all the confidence of Apollo, over to you and leans against the wall with one arm and starts chatting you up. It doesn't matter if you're taller then him, you will feel small and a lil' intimidated/turned on.

I ain't gonna lie, you guys probably start out as a one night stand and became a friends with benefits after you fed him waffles in the morning after aforementioned one night stand and got to know each other, knowing Sikorsky- he just ends up coming to you every time he needs to blow off steam, which is, admittedly, a lot.

Sikorsky is a big ol' dumbass when it comes to the dreaded things called emotions, so he drops of the face of the Earth (at least to you) after he realizes how bad he's got it for you.

He pops up again after he had time to think about it and mull it over. And, would you look at that? He brought flowers and chocolate!

He's real shit at using his words to express himself, he's more of a actions type of guy, opposed to words, that doesn't mean can't be eloquently spoken, he just has a hard time when he's getting frustrated/experiancing heavy emotions; so gift giving is his go to as an apology!

He's actually a really observant lover due to this! He also remembers really important dates too!

He's really good with his hands so more often then not, he'll offer to give you a message after you had a long day at work, this sometimes leads to some sexy time; even if it doesn't though, his hands still feel amazing: they're rough and calluses, sure, but it sends such nice tingles down your back, you can't help but sigh.

He's really gentle when he holds your hands because he knows that his grip strength is off the wall and, he won't tell you, but he is terrified of hurting you.

Another hard yes on PDA but this time it's intentional. Sikorsky likes to prove his dominance over you, which may or may not lead to some arguements between you guys, and flaunt you relationship so he will openly shove his tongue down your throat to prove a point.

He has a tendency to grab your hips and press you flush against him, or even pull you onto his lap in resturaints, he'll whisper dirty things into your ear like this, so be prepared.

He likes to push your buttons once in a while because he thinks your hot when you're mad. He's a little shit and sometime has the mental fortitude of a 12 year old boy. It just comes with the territory of dating him, unfortunately

Sikorsky gets jealous easily and flies off the handle way too much, you'll have to really talk to him about that. But afterwards he'll drag you of there and, instead of making it to your guy's humble abode, he'll take you into the closest alleyway and start making out with you hard. It's almost too much, but it's kinda hot????

Anyway, Sikorsky may not seem like it, but he has your back. He wouldn't let anything happen to you without a fight. Even if you're a fighter.

SPEAKING OF IF YOU'RE A FIGHTER, SIKORSKY WILL FIND IT HOT AS F U C K. LIKE, TRY AND KICK HIS ASS, BABE, DO IIIIT

You will def. be his training partner, whomst he will smooch and smack your ass at any given opportunity

He likes to lay his head on your ads and straight up be like "don't fart, babe, or I'll slap your ass so hard that you won't be able to walk for a week" and you've never want to slap a man more in your life.

[thesolotomyhan]

narcos méxico: first date hc

ok sooo,, I am genuinely lost haha   i also just want to say im sorry for being so slow to get content out for you lovely's and if this is trash :(,,,, and a big thank you to @fandomnerd16 for the idea! 💖 basically what does the first date include with them!  i-im just going to leave this here, let me know what you guys think so far??? 

Tags: @fandomnerd16​ , @visintaes​ , @sheeshgivemeabreak​

Ramon:

Imagining the first date with ramon and how soft it would be has me cryinggg

he cant help but show his soft kid side with you-

you’re just different, he wants to show you he’s really capable of loving and being himself for you,

and that he has a whole other side to him that he reserves and that he’s willing to wholeheartedly show you,,,

can you imagine this man taking you to a carnival/fair for your first date?

just being surrounded by food, games, rides and just pure bliss and happiness ??? yes

like,just the both of you walking around, holding hands, zero fucking awkwardness between you two as he excitedly leads you around, to each booth possible,,

he’ll tug you along to like those water gun stands or the pop the balloon stands and challenge to do competitions with you-

“Que dices? te apuesto un beso que no me ganas en la pistolas de agua, muñeca”-

like, its hella cheesy and cheap how he’s asking to kiss you but it only makes you want to beat him to have him at least work for it,,

the happy v i b es im getting has me sobbing-

just,, the way both of your laughs echo into the air because neither of you want to lose and your just so happy to be around one another right now,,,

i cant- imagine him looking over at you and giving you the most softest look in the middle of your water gun competition when you tell him he’s losing to you, i cant

he would purposely let you win more than 50 percent of the games just to see you throw your arms in the air and laugh up to him that you beat him-

the proud ass smile he gives you as he’ll like twirl you around to pump you up even more, fuck, just why

ok, so you know that one hammer strength game they have at those fairs, where you test your strength and shit, yeah ramon would immediately drag you over to one just to show off his strength and win you the big ass stuffed monkey they have for the winner,,

just- the little fucking grin he has when he hears the puck ring the bell on the first try as he looks over at you, cheering him on-

ramon winning all the giant stuffed animals for you would be his goal alright,,

Especially after the way he saw how happy you got with the monkey he won for you at the hammer strength booth,,,

just filling your overflowing arms with big ass teddy bears and tigers,, the excitement never leaving your eyes as he brings you animal after animal has his heart melting,,

omg, the thought of you and ramon acting like teenagers while feeding each other food has me soft

like, instead of eating the bag of popcorn, your both trying to throw it into each others mouths and just making a mess everywhere-

your uncontrollable laughs making it harder for you both to throw the popcorn,,,

but the cute ass celebration you both would do when you successfully catch them is everything--

i, him buying you a churro while you both just walk around and he’ll lean over to bite it when you look away to see something, so when you turn back, the churros halfway fucking gone,, you’ll playfully hit his chest as you both giggle to each other-

or you’ll both be sharing a bag of cotton candy, feeding it to one another, giving the biggest smiles you can,, i cant handle this-

the two of you end up losing so much track of time together that when the inevitable end of your date comes, your both lowkey hiding your sadness,

so ramon would pull you along to the ferris wheel just for one more adventure to end the day right-

IM SO SOFT, everything is just so calm as you lean your head on his shoulder as you both look at the carnival lights illuminating the fair

the gentle fucking kiss he’ll give you on top of your head as he pulls you closer into him, i-

Benjamin:

benjamin’s first date with you has me in my feelingss

just the way he’s pouring his soul and heart into wanting to surprise you and show you how romántico he can be, I-

he would probably invite you to his home for your first date,, where he would want to have total peace and quiet for you and him, my intimate bby 

he just wants his attention to be devoted to you, not anyone else :)

benjamin would put so much effort into the decorations too,,, snapping his fingers where all the flowers need to go, where to hang the balloons and where all the lights need to go-

ordering the chef he contracted to make your favorite food and dessert,, and even low key threatening the chef that if he fucks this up, he’s not seeing the light of tomorrow

Stress level to the max honestly, he just needs to make this perfect for you i cant-

but i know my bby is so good at time management,, he has this all done an hour before you show up, giving him time to breathe and just take in his work, adjusting any small detail he deems imperfect before changing into his clothes he bought for this specific occasion, :(

he would probably wait for you outside with some chocolatitos, all dressed up :(( , trying to stop his nerves when he sees the car he sent for you start to pull in

fuck, the big smile that he shows you when he sees you all dolled up- youre more beautiful than he remembers, my heart

“te vez radiante” as he kisses your cheek because hes a respectoso king

i see him being to fucking well mannered i cant,, he helps you get out of the car, offering his arm to lead you inside where everything is set up, helping you sit down and all that adorableness

he would be internally congratulating himself when he sees you smiling at all the decorations and the food being served in front of you-

just, him asking all about your day, sharing stories with the occasional shared laughs

him also asking if you enjoyed everything and if he needs to fix anything to your liking and just,,, the way you reach across the table to hold his hand and assure him that he went overtop for you would have him beaming heart eyes at you-

Benjamin makes this feel so fucking romantic and comfortable i cant

like you two would spend so much time talking about everything with each other even after you finish all the food,,,

fuck,, the way he’ll progressively scoot closer to you through the night, never letting go of your hand after you held it the first time-

like you both don’t even notice how close you are until your both throwing your heads back when you laugh and then looking at each other

and just that soft moment where you both stare into each other’s eyes and glance down at your lips— oohohh

the both of you just click so right, everything leads up to this point naturally,,,

You two are so fucking innocent that the first kiss would be the softest shit ever, its sincero and lleno de amor, i-

its one of those kisses that are followed by soft giggles and pecks, one after another until he pulls you into his side because he’s just overfilled with emotions-

and just the way neither of you want to leave the comfortable silence as you both glance at each other-

i cant,, in his mind he’ll be thinking yeah, this is the one, la cual con que quiero compartir mi futuro-

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

I Need You

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Summary: The relationship through the years

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing, just a lot of fluff, mentions of anxiety

A/N: This is probably the longest fic I’ve ever written I got a bit carried away so I apologise - sorry if any of the times/ages are wrong! Just go with it! I’m kinda exhausted writing this so I was trying to do the kinda basic maths in my head and it just gave me a headache but please excuse any issues with age that there may be! Also I’m actually really happy with this one and it made me hella soft writing it so I hope you enjoy! Please remember to like, comment, reblog, send asks and just let me know what you thought of it!

~~ 2008, Age 12 ~~

Y/N’s face was scrunched up with nerves as she waited for the bus to arrive. The previous two days her mother had driven her to school, Y/N too nervous to get the bus in. But then the boy who lived down the street had asked her during school why she didn’t get the bus to school like he did.

Y/N had shyly admitted to the boy - Michael, that was his name - that she was nervous about it.

“You came!” Michael’s grin was wide when he arrived at the bus stop. Y/N’s lips up into a nervous smile and she nodded mutely. “Here!” He thrust a bottle at her. “My mum gave me two orange juices and told me to give the other to Cal but you can have it instead,” Michael gave her an innocent smile and Y/N took the bottle.

“Thank you,” she said nervously but she clammed up again the moment the bus pulled into the stop. 

Michael bounded onto the bus before her, leaving Y/N behind.

“You coming, love?” The bus driver asked, a kind smile on her face. Y/N looked around her, noticing that she was the only child who had yet to get on the bus at her stop and gave an embarrassed, awkward nod of her head.

Her steps were shaky when she stepped onto the bus. She flinched as the door shut behind her. 

It was the typical kind of school bus, the exact same formation as it had been like at her old school at her old home town - the youngest pupils at the front and the eldest at the back.

Y/N was just going into year 7, as was Michael, so she knew that she ought to sit at the front but she didn’t know where.

It was the start of spring term, Y/N having moved house late in the year meaning that she didn’t know anyone other than Michael.

There were some empty seats next to other year 7s but Y/N wasn’t sure whether they’d allow her to sit next to them or not.

“Y/N! Come sit here!” She was relieved to hear Michael’s voice calling to her from one of the three seaters, where he was sat in the middle seat with a friend next to him at the window, an empty seat on the aisle. 

Y/N practically fell into the seat next to Michael, giving him a thankful, exhausted smile.

“This is Calum! We’ve known each other since primary school!” Michael introduced.

“Mike said he gave you my orange juice,” Calum said, looking to Y/N with a hurt expression and her eyes widened, her jaw slackening and she was quick to hold out the juice to him, not wanting to make any enemies in her first week. Calum looked at the bottle before his face broke into a wide grin, shaking his head. “I was just joking.”

“Y/N just moved here,” Michael informed Calum who nodded.

“You’re in my History class, right?” He asked and Y/N’s eyes flashed with recognition and she nodded.

“Yeah,” she confirmed timidly.

“You should sit with me!” He told her and Michael frowned.

“Why aren’t you ever that excited to sit next to me?” He accused his best friend and Y/N couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her.

~~ 2009, Age 13 ~~

“Everything sucks and I want to die,” Y/N looked at Michael for a moment in silence before nodding.

“This is why we don’t talk too much,” she informed him and Michael scoffed.

“So not the reason,” he grumbled.

“No the reason is that Y/N has other friends,” Y/N couldn’t stop herself from smiling when she heard Calum’s voice and she turned around, watching him take the final few steps towards them in the lunch hall.

“I still sit with you guys on the bus every day,” she pointed out and Michael pointed at her with his fork

“Good - don’t you fucking dare forget your roots,” he said through a mouthful of food, making Y/N wrinkle her nose in disgust and she looked over at Calum to see a similar expression on his face. “I’m the only reason you have friends here,” he insisted, shovelling more food into his mouth,

“I forget why I sat with you today,” Y/N said to him.

“Because you knew I’d be here?” Calum offered with a cheesy grin.

“Because we were your best choice since Sandy’s being a bitch?” Michael offered instead and Y/N stuck her tongue out at her friend. “How mature.”

“Fuck you, Mikey.”

“You were nicer when you were anxious all the time.”

Y/N was friends with Calum and Michael - for the first half of term that Y/N was at the school the boys essentially took her under their wing, showing her around the school and introducing her to new people. But after that Y/N made her own friends, a group that ran in similar circles to Calum and Michael but they weren’t one group. 

Despite that, though, they still sat together on the bus every morning and evening and her and Michael still walked to and from the bus stop together. Michael’s mum still provided Y/N and Calum with a bottle of something to drink on the bus in the morning and the three of them did still hang out together, just not as often as they had when Y/N was still a new student.

“Heard you’re planning on trying out for the football team?” Y/N mentioned, looking over at Calum, who had just taken a bite from his sandwich and he nodded, his eyes bright.

“Yeah! Next week!” 

“That’s amazing, Cal!” 

The fluttering in their chests was inevitable, really. 

~~ 2010, Age 14 ~~

Calum looked up, surprised when Y/N slid into the seat next to him on the bus. 

“Mike’s ill,” she said awkwardly. “It’s... I’m still okay to sit here, right?” 

“Of course it’s okay,” Calum laughed and Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at how adorable he looked when he smiled. “Has he just never been sick since you started here?” He questioned and Y/N shrugged.

“I guess so.” 

Silence fell between the two friends for a moment and then Y/N nodded towards Calum’s headphones.

“What’re you listening to?”

“All Time Low,” there was a pause before Calum asked: “want to listen?” 

“Is that okay?”

“You’ve not been this nervous around me since we first met,” Calum informed her and Y/N smiled, moving over into Michael’s usual seat, close enough to Calum so that they could listen to the music together.

“I like this album,” she admitted quietly.

“If you didn’t we’d have serious issues.”

Y/N smiled, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

“Thanks for letting me listen,” Y/N said when they pulled into school and Calum shrugged.

“I saw you haven’t have yours for a while.”

“Yeah - the dog chewed them up,” she saw Calum’s eyes light up at the mention of her dog.

“How is Alan?” He asked as the two of them got off the bus.

“Misses you, Cal,” she assured, giggling.

“I miss him,” Calum sighed longingly.

“You can come over any time and see him,” Y/N pointed out. Calum smiled at her and nodded.

“I might take you up on that,” silence fell between them as they walked together towards the school.

Normally by this point in the morning Y/N would have left Calum and Michael to seek out her other friends and the two boys would go to the music room or Calum would have an early morning team meeting for football.

But this morning was different - this morning, neither of them wanted to leave the other.

Without Michael there, it was easier to get wrapped up in one another’s presence.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Calum’s hands were playing nervously with the straps of his bag, refusing to look over at his friend.

“Yeah?”

“Would you maybe wanna see a movie together, or something?” 

“We’re going to see one with Mike this weekend,” Y/N pointed out, laughing a little. “You already asked me, Cal.”

“No! No, i mean... one without him?” Calum offered awkwardly, clearly feeling he had gone too far now to go back on his question. “Like... just the two of us?” Y/N stopped in her tracks, staring wide-eyed at Calum.

“Are you... Cal, are you asking me on a date?” He looked up at last to meet her eyes, anxiety dancing in his. Y/N began to feel her own anxiety building up in her stomach, which was strange, she hadn’t felt nervous around Calum since the day that they first met. “Because... Because if you were,” she spoke again when she realised that Calum wasn’t going to clarify what he meant. “I’d... um I’d like that.”

~~ 2011 Age 15 ~~

“So you’ve found a drummer now?” Y/N asked from her seat in the music room, where she was watching Calum, Michael and their friend Luke tuning their instruments.

“Yeah - Michael found him,” Luke confirmed, giving a shy smile to Calum’s girlfriend.

Luke had been introduced to Y/N a few months ago by Michael and Calum as the guitarist in the band they were forming and yet the two of them were still painfully awkward around one another.

Not for Luke’s lack of trying, he was putting a lot of effort into befriending Y/N but she was constantly nervous when it came to talking to new people, even those who had been so highly talked of by her boyfriend and Michael.

“He’s called Ashton,” Michael supplied before looking to Calum with an unimpressed look on his face. “Don’t you tell your girlfriend anything?”

“No,” Calum shrugged, a smirk growing on his face. “All we talk about is how fucking annoying you are,” Calum looked over at his girlfriend when she snorted with laughter, her hands flying to her mouth in shock from the noise she had just made.

Calum bit his lip to stop himself from laughing and shook his head, affection evident in his actions.

“Well when we hang out we just talk about how much she regrets saying yes to your date,” Michael countered, challenging Calum.

Luke looked over at Y/N.

“Are they...?”

“Yeah,” Y/N filled in nodding with a sigh. “They’re always like this.” 

“Only because Mike’s bitter that I asked out Y/N before he could,” Calum gloated arrogantly and Luke and Y/N burst out into laughter at the look of disgust on Michael’s face.

“Should I be offended that you’re that against dating me, Mike?” The young boy rolled his eyes.

“Whatever - girls have cooties anyway.”

~~ 2012, Age 16 ~~

Y/N was sat on Calum’s bed, watching him pack.

He was chatting away happily to her, eager to tell her all of his plans for exploring London while he was away. Telling her all about the plans that the band had for their debut album that they were planning on recording since their first single and EP had been such a hit.

His eyes were bright and sparkling with excitement as he continued to go on about all of his plans.

Y/N just watched and listened, nodding her head and making noises of agreement whenever it seemed appropriate.

Calum paused for breath, his cheeks flushed with excitement and he turned to face her, his smile so heartbreakingly wide.

“Isn’t it insane?” 

Y/N nodded her head, trying to muster up excitement. Because she was excited. Of course she was excited both for Calum and the rest of the guys.

She had known Calum and Michael since they were all eleven and being in a band, recording albums, touring was all that they had ever dreamed of and now two thirds of that was already coming true and they were only fourteen, fifteen and sixteen.

“I’m really happy for you, Cal,” Y/N confirmed, her voice gentle and a little sad. Calum’s face dropped into a frown and he sat next to her on his bed, his arm resting around her shoulder.

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah I just... I’m going to miss you,” she admitted, resting her own head on his shoulder.

“We’re not going to be gone for long,” he promised her.

“Come on, Cal, you have to realise by now that you guys are gonna be big, right?” Calum snorted a laugh at that.

“Yeah, well, we’re never going to forget our number one fan.”

“You can’t, Liz is going with you,” Y/N deadpanned, pride filling her chest when Calum started to laugh.

“It’s going to be weird not having you there,” Calum mused. “Who’s going to tell Michael that he sucks on the daily?”

“It’s okay, Cal, an ocean isn’t going to stop me from ensuring Mike’s head doesn’t get too big.”

“Well there’s a relief.”

~~ 2013, Age 17 ~~

“That’s amazing!” Y/N congratulated, amazement and pride filling her chest.

The previous two months had been interesting for them to say the least, with Calum in London with the band song writing and collaborating with other, UK-based artists. 

Y/N missed him - of course she missed the band as well, the three boys who she had become close with since the band had formed and she had met Luke and Ashton, and Michael who she had seen every day since she was twelve - but she wasn’t ashamed to admit she had missed Calum the most.

It was strange. They were so young and yet, they had spent nearing three years of their lives calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Too young to know about love and yet... that was what this was. Love in its purest, most innocent form.

“I can’t quite believe it,” Calum admitted and even with an ocean between them on a crappy phone connection Y/N could hear his smile. See his expression.

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Want a confession?” Calum asked, just a hint of guilt in his voice but amusement being the overlying tone.

“What?”

“I haven’t told my parents yet,” silence fell over the line for a moment before Y/N burst out laughing.

“Cal!” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“Don’t tell them that you told me first or they’ll be so offended!” 

“I promise,” Calum chuckled.

“You’re still coming home next week, right?” Y/N asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between the two teenagers.

“Yeah,” Calum confirmed. “And on the tour we’ll be playing in Sydney and the One Direction guys promised that they could get you a good ticket.”

“Man... I can’t believe you’re touring with One Direction,” Y/N reiterated and she heard her boyfriend release a long breath on the other side of the line.

“Neither can I,” his voice was a whisper.

“Hate to be that bitch but... I told you you were going to be big.”

“Mum did always say that I should listen to you,” Calum teased, causing Y/N to let out a gentle laugh.

“You can repay me by getting Louis’ autograph.”

Y/N had been joking at the time, but she wasn’t particularly surprised when Calum returned a week later and brought out a prototype shirt for the ‘Take Me Home’ tour which had been signed by all five members of One Direction.

~~ 2014, Age 18 ~~

Y/N’s arms were around Calum the moment he stepped out of the airport gate. Her boyfriend laughed, dropping his bags to the ground and wrapping his arms around her waist, nestling his face into her neck.

“Shit, you’re really here,” she mumbled and Calum’s arms tightened a little. If Y/N didn’t know any better she would have thought he was crying.

“I’m really here,” he confirmed. Y/N went to pull away but Calum wouldn’t let her. “Just give me a second,” he pleaded.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want the fans to see I’m crying,” he admitted bashfully and Y/N laughed.

“Calum Hood? Crying?” She teased and Calum laughed, pulling back but only so that he could kiss her for the first time in months.

“Fuck off,” he mumbled, resting their foreheads heavily together.

“I like the hair by the way,” Y/N added. “Very punk rock.”

“You know what I didn’t miss you,” Calum said decisively, pulling away from her, but the smile on his lips contrasted his words entirely.

“I wasn’t joking! I do like it!” She promised, her hands reaching up to gently comb through the curls. Calum’s face softened and he ducked down to kiss her again.

“I’m so glad I’m home,” he confessed and Y/N laughed a little into his mouth.

“I am too - but I’m sure your family is as well,” she pointed out.

When Calum went to go greet his parents, Joy pulling him into a bone crushing hug, Michael’s arms slipped around Y/N’s shoulders, pulling her into his chest.

“Miss me?” He asked and Y/N laughed, turning around to hug her friend. 

“It’s so good to see you all again!”

“Is that us included?” Ashton piped up, looking over to Michael and Y/N with raised eyebrows.

“Not you.” Ashton giggled and walked over, wrapping his arms around Y/N and Michael, who were still hugging. Luke was swift to join in. “You guys stink!” Y/N groaned, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

“Bloody rude,” Ashton commented as the three bandmates released her.

Calum reached over and interlaced their fingers, pulling Y/N back to his side.

“You two ready to go for food?” Joy asked, a knowing look sent to the couple. Calum pressed his lips to Y/N’s forehead and nodded.

~~ 2015, Age 19 ~~

“I’ve missed this,” Calum admitted, the two of them walking down the road, their hands linked together, swinging slightly where they hung between them. Y/N’s dog, Alan, was bounding down the road in front of them, knowing the path to the park well, able to quite contentedly lead the way, the couple following him.

“Yeah? You over your rockstar life already?” Y/N teased, squeezing Calum’s hand and he let out a soft laugh at her question, shaking his head.

“You’re really annoying sometimes, you know? Like, honestly, every time I even try and be cute you have to go and ruin it.”

“You trying to be cheesy and cute makes me uncomfortable because you’ve always been a bit of a shit to me,” Y/N told him, a serious expression on her face, which cracked the moment Calum shot her an offended look.

“It’s one hundred percent the other way around,” Calum grumbled.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Y/N scoffed.

“You and Ash have been taking the piss out of me ever since you first got introduced,” Calum claimed.

“Yeah - thanks for introducing us, by the way. I love Ash,” Calum burst out laughing at her tone, tugging on her hand to bring her closer so that he could kiss her temple.

“I’d say ‘you’re welcome’ but I do think that it’s the dumbest move I’ve ever made.”

Silence fell between them again as they followed Alan into the park. The outing made both Y/N and Calum feel somewhat nostalgic - walking Alan together around the park was something that they had done as dates since they got together and before they were together Michael would also join them after school.

Of course, all the band had tagged along at some point or another when Y/N went to walk her family dog but it was Calum’s favourite thing for them to do as a casual date - Y/N was insistent that it was because he preferred Alan to her, to which Calum never responded to other than to laugh.

“I’ve missed this too,” she finally confirmed, gently squeezing his hand again. “Walking Alan’s just not the same without you.”

~~ 2016, Age 20 ~~

“I’m so in love with you,” Calum’s words were whispered into Y/N’s hair. Calum’s arms were wrapped tightly around her, keeping her safe and secure, as close to him as he could physically manage to keep her.

A secret between the two of them. So much of his life now was public, had been since he was sixteen. Y/N and their relationship was the one thing now that felt private, that made him feel safe.

Even his friendship with Michael, the one he had had for as long as he could remember, was in the public eye, no longer with the privacy of inside jokes to hide behind. 

He wasn’t sure what he’d do if he lost Y/N.

And he almost had.

Or at least, he thought he had.

Y/N had flown out to stay with him and the other guys on tour, having just finished university for the year and having the whole summer to do whatever she wanted, until she had to go back for the start of term in late September.

It was the first time she had been with him for anything other than the Australian leg of the tour and the two of them had been looking forward to it, planning it for months.

But it had all come crashing down so quickly.

Y/N wasn’t used to the same lifestyle as Calum anymore. She was used to the paparazzi following them around home occasionally, fans coming up and asking for pictures when they were together but nothing could have prepared her for tour.

Everything was publicised, all the time. Nothing felt private anymore. Y/N had never felt so exposed in her whole life and she despised it.

Y/N had panicked. They had gotten separated in a crowd of fans and Y/N had had a full blown panic attack, which Calum hadn’t seen happen because he was the other side of the crowd, taking photos. Ashton had found her and brought her safely back to the bus, where she had sat shaking with nervous energy, waiting for the boys to return.

Calum was the first through the door to the tour bus, rushing over to his girlfriend, eyes wide with worry as he tried to get a grasp on her mental state.

Y/N had assured him she was fine and Calum hated himself for dragging her into this kind of life, which she had never asked for.

“I love you too, Cal,” Y/N promised, nuzzling closer to him. They had taken themselves off to their bunk early, wanting to recover from the stress of the day. Normally they would at least pretend for a little while that they would be sleeping in separate bunks to avoid the teasing of their friends but they were both unwilling to leave the others side after the previous events.

“But... are you sure this is what you want?” Y/N rolled over so that she was hovering on top of him and if Calum hadn’t been caught up in his own thoughts and fears about their relationship he would be astounded by how gorgeous he thought she looked.

“Cal, I’ve loved you since we were thirteen... I’m not... of course this is what I want,” she settled on, leaning down to kiss him gently. “You’re what I want.”

“But this... this isn’t what you agreed to when we first started going out,” he pointed out, gesturing with his free hand around them at the tour bus and he watched as Y/N just shrugged.

“No - but it’s what I signed up for now, Cal... you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

~~ 2017, Age 21 ~~

“It’s nice that you’re finally taking a break,” Y/N mentioned, watching Calum bustle around his kitchen from her place sat on top of the breakfast bar.

Y/N normally did most of the cooking when they were together - she would joke about the only reason Calum inviting her down to spend her holidays with him was because she would cook for him.

But this morning, Calum had insisted on cooking her breakfast. Y/N had put up little fight and allowed Calum to do as he pleased, deciding on cooking pancakes for the two of them.

“Yeah - it gives us the time to actually properly think about this album, you know?” Y/N nodded in understanding. She knew how hectic the past few years for Calum and the band had been and she knew that they weren’t necessarily with all the songs they released as they could be had they just had a little more time.

It was also nice for them to be taking some extra time off and to themselves because it meant that she got to see Calum more with him flying himself to her university, her being able to get to LA and it was nice being able to see him so much.

“Okay, so I know it’s early to be asking this,” Calum stated, turning around with two plates of pancakes in hand. He stopped short though when he saw where Y/N was sat. “Can’t you just sit at a chair like a normal person for once in your life?” He sighed and Y/N laughed, moving off of the counter and taking a plate from Calum, pecking his lips.

“Thank you for breakfast,” she responded, sitting at the table. Calum rolled his eyes and sat opposite her.

“As I was saying,” he went back to his previous train of thought, shaking his head a little at his girlfriend’s antics, adoration swimming in his eyes. “I was thinking about us,” Y/N froze. She knew those words were almost never good. Calum picked up on her sudden nerves and reached over the table to grab her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it as he knew always soothed her. “Nothing bad, baby, I promise. Nothing bad,” he prefaced and Y/N nodded, letting out the breath she had been holding.

“If you say it’s nothing bad and now break up with me I’m going to kick your ass, Hood.” She mumbled, listening to Calum start to laugh.

“What I was going to ask is if you want to move in together when you’re done with uni?” Silence fell between them for a moment and Y/N nodded hesitantly.

“I do...”

“Is there a but?” Calum asked, his heart sinking at her expression. Y/N grimaced a little.

“I’m... where would we live? I... I’m not sure I want to live in LA, Cal.” 

Calum moved his hand in hers so that they were holding hands more properly and he squeezed it gently.

“Hey, that’s okay - we’ll figure it out, yeah? Reach a compromise?” Y/N nodded again, a nervous smile forming on her face.

“Then yeah - lets do it.” Calum beamed, leaning right across the table so that he could kiss her.

The couple were broken out of their bubble by the sound of Calum’s apartment door opening and gasps of delight coming from his band members, who just regularly invited themselves around.

“Nice! You made pancakes!”

~~ 2018 Age 22 ~~

Y/N shifted from foot to foot in front of Ashton’s house, waiting for him to answer the door. 

She had gotten a call from Calum about an hour ago during work, imploring her to come over the moment she was finished because he missed her.

Luke had taken the phone from him pretty quickly and insisted she bring alcohol with her as they were running out at Ashton’s house.

As Luke spoke to her, Y/N could hear Calum complaining in the background, which had made her laugh. 

Calum always was a clingy drunk.

“Oh thank fuck you’re here!” Michael exclaimed, reaching out of the door and pulling Y/N inside.

“You good, Mike?”

“Cal’s being complaining about you not being here for hours,” Michael groaned, dragging Y/N behind him into the kitchen.

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the scene in front of her. It had turned into a small party in Ashton’s kitchen. Calum, Luke, Ashton and Michael all had dazed looks in their eyes, their smiles slightly dopy and their laughs just a little too hysterical.

Sierra and Crystal were also in the kitchen, sat at Ashton’s bar with drinks in front of them, watching the band members in amusement.

“It’s literally half past five and they’re hammered,” Y/N stated, joining the two girls, who laughed, nodding their heads in agreement.

“They were smashed after the first video,” Sierra contributed.

“Well... Mike and Luke definitely were,” Crystal mused. “I think Cal and Ash hung on until the second.”

“Y/N!” Calum’s voice broke through the room and Y/N turned around, raising her eyebrows at her boyfriend, who had raised his arms, eyes bright in delight as they fixed on her.

“Cal you’re in the middle of filming!” Y/N pointed out.

“I don’t care! Come here!” He pleaded but Y/N shook her head.

“Not drunk enough for that, babe,” she told her and Calum’s eyes slipped over to Sierra and Crystal, pointing at them seriously.

“Get her drunk so she’ll come on camera - need to show her off,” Calum took another drink and Y/N turned back to the girls.

“Okay at what point do we need to cut them off?”

~~ 2019 Age 23 ~~

“You okay?” Y/N asked when Calum flopped onto the sofa next to her on the tour bus, resting her free hand in his hair as she continued to scroll through her phone.

“Yeah,” Calum sighed, nuzzling closer to her. “Glad you’re here.”

“I promised, didn’t I?” Y/N pointed out, gently running her fingers down his cheek. “Couldn’t let you spend our anniversary alone,” she teased.

“I’m sorry we’re stuck on the bus for it,” he sighed but Y/N just shrugged.

“I don’t mind, Cal - plus, lets be honest, even if we weren’t stuck on the tour bus, the guys would find a way to crash our plans. They always do.”

It was true. Calum and Y/N had never managed to have an anniversary where it was just the two of them. Every year at least one of them would crash it and invite themselves along to whatever it was that the couple were doing. When they moved in together they had been hopeful of spending a quiet anniversary together at their home with just Duke for company.

It had been a vain hope and both Luke and Ashton had invited themselves along to their movie night.

By this stage, Y/N and Calum were pretty much certain that they just did it to annoy them.

This year, Y/N had booked off two weeks from work months in advance so that she could join Calum on tour and Calum when he was looking at the dates for the tour had done his best to ensure that they could spend their anniversary in a hotel rather than on the move so that they could go on a real celebration to a fancy restaurant.

Unfortunately, at the last minute there had been a change in the tour and more dates had been added, meaning that they were spending the night of their anniversary on the tour bus, Calum having spent the day doing promo with the band and the Chainsmokers.

“Yeah I know,” Calum sighed. “Guess I just wished this year had been different,” he admitted. Y/N’s smile softened and she put her phone to the side, ducking down to kiss him.

“Nine years, Cal - that’s quite a while,” she mused and Calum nodded in agreement. “Having any doubts?” She teased and Calum reached his hand up to curl around her neck, ensuring that she remained close enough for him to kiss her again.

“With you? Never.”

~~ 2020 Age 24 (almost) ~~

Calum’s arms wrapped around her from behind, his face nestling into the crook of her neck.

“What’re you doing up?” He mumbled.

“Jet lag,” Y/N sighed, relaxing back into his arms a little bit.

They had only recently flown back home to their LA apartment (Y/N had given in to his pleads for them to move to LA, understanding that it was where Calum needed to be) from spending the time with their families in Australia.

“Could’ve woken me,” he told her and Y/N chuckled lightly.

“I know - but you need sleep, Cal,” she turned around in his arms, wrapping her arms back around him. 

“I need good sleep - I only sleep well with you,” he told her, not a hint of untruth in his voice, just telling her what he honestly felt. “Been an issue since we first shared a bed when we were sixteen.” 

“Sorry to ruin your sleep like that,” she giggled when she heard Calum’s breath against her neck, laughing.

“What were you doing anyway?”

“Just on Instagram,” Y/N shrugged. “Looking through my tagged.”

“Anything interesting?” Calum asked, practically dragging Y/N over to the chair situated on their balcony, sitting down first and pulling Y/N on top of him in an attempt to keep himself warm.

“Everyone wishing us happy anniversary,” Y/N told him.

“Our anniversary was months ago,” Calum pointed out, blinking his bleary eyes to focus them on her screen.

“I haven’t been on in a while,” she admitted. “Stalked you for a bit as well.” She mused. “Liked the post you put up for our anniversary,” Y/N added and Calum chuckled.

“You really haven’t been on in a while.”

“It was cute,” she told him, turning around and cuddling closer to his chest.

“Thought you were gonna hate me from putting up photos from when we were fourteen.”

“As Mike would say,” Y/N cleared her throat. “I would never forget my fucking roots,” she said, a poor imitation of Michael’s accent sending Calum into fits of laughter.

“That was awful,” he told her as he tried to catch his breath aain.

“It made you laugh,” Y/N shrugged, looking up at him, a softness in her eyes that was reserved purely for him.

Calum felt privileged in the knowledge that it had been for him and only him to see ever since they were fourteen. To know that no one else had ever seen that look directed towards them.

“That’s all I ever really want to do,” she promised.

“I love you so much,” Calum whispered. He took her hand and placed it over his chest. “This beats for you,” he brought the hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to each finger and went back to kiss her ring finger again. “We’ve been together almost ten years and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Cal...”

“This isn’t an official proposal,” Calum prefaced, shaking his head. “Not yet - the ring isn’t ready yet,” Y/N’s eyes widened and Calum’s lips perked up at the reaction. “Didn’t you think I was going to propose?”

“I mean, I guess,” Y/N shrugged and Calum kissed her, their lips moving together in a way that was so comforting and normal for them.

“So it’s not an official proposal until I get the ring,” their foreheads were pressed heavily together, breathing into one another’s mouths. “But I just needed - need - you to know that I want to marry you. And...” Calum trailed off, seeming to loose some confidence.

“Whenever you’re ready, Cal,” Y/N vowed, kissing him again. “Whenever you’re ready to ask, I’m ready to say yes.”

Before you go: If you enjoyed this fic and want some more of it, check my blurb masterlist under 5sos blurbs and there you can find any spinoff blurbs I have done for this fic :)

[aerynwrites]

Trust is a Fragile Thing

Din Djarin x Reader

Author’s Note: I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to post something in like...forever. I got hella choked up writitng this so I hope y’all feel ALL the angst I poured into this one! And yes, i know this wasn’t one of the many many request I still have to do but I’m working on those next haha. So, expect some more of those later this week! Let me know what you guys think of this one!

Thank you to my wonderful beta readers @anniebombannie​ and @amberthefiredemon​ - without them my fics would be loaded with awkward phrasing and lame grammatical errors lol.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Hella angst (idk if y’all are ready for it), yelling, angst, cursing, mentions of blood and injruy, did I say angst already?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You and Din had been partners for several years at this point and had officially been in a relationship for almost half of that time. You both had met on some backwater planet going after the same bounty. At first, as is usual with Din, things were rocky at best. He wouldn’t talk to you unless absolutely necessary, and if he did it was usually two words or less. You wanted to rip your hair out with how hard it was to communicate with the man; but, as time went on, you both slowly started to break down each other’s walls. He already knew a lot about you, you were an open book, and you talked incessantly as a way to fill the silence that he refused to.

But eventually, he let you in.

He told you about his parents, his past life, and his total and utter devotion to the Mandalorians and his creed. While this was just the starting point in your relationship, it seemed almost inevitable that it turned into more. It had been after a near death experience on your part, when the usually stoic and silent Mandalorian had confessed his feelings for you. Not out right of course, but he had told you that he was terrified of losing you then told you his name, and you knew what it meant. In turn, you had told him how you felt, in more direct terms, and it was history after that. Several months later you and Din got the bounty for the Child and had been on a mission to find his kind ever since. With the child, your relationship with Din had seemed to grow stronger, the rigid and cold bounty hunter had turned into a soft and caring protector to the both of you. However, despite your relationship, Din was still heavily devoted to his creed and the Mandalorians. Something that you knew never to question, especially when it came to the helmet. You knew the importance of it, and that he was never supposed to remove his helmet in front of another living being. Hell, when you and the crew were on Nevarro he had almost let himself die to keep his creed. The only reason he was alive was because IG had convinced him that, since he wasn’t living, Din had not broken his creed. Din trusted you with this and many other things - He trusted you with his life, his name, and most importantly, he trusted that you would never break his creed - something you always respected.

So, a year later when you were still searching for the child’s species and Din had taken the brunt force of an explosion from a bounty hunter, you were faced with an impossible decision.

Save Din or let him die?

your breathing was labored and frantic as you pulled him up the ramp of the Razor Crest. He was completely dead weight after he had been hit and it took everything in you to haul him back to the ship in hopes of helping him. When you finally got him into the hull, you immediately closed the hatch and set the ship’s coordinates for a nearby planet, returning back to Din as the ship took off. You grabbed the large medkit from the wall on your way back down to where Din lay and rushed over to him, kneeling so your knees were by his chest. Your eyes graze over his unconscious form, immediately taking note of the several injuries he had amassed from the earlier fight. You rapidly started removing his beskar, trying to get a better look at what you were dealing with, but you felt your lip tremble as the reality of the situation sank in. He had a head wound, a fatal one at that, if the amount of blood seeping onto the floor from beneath his helmet was any indication. But you had hoped, prayed, to whatever god was out there that it wasn’t a head wound - that it was some chest laceration or a broken rib or something that you could actually treat; but as you sat there and the pool of blood grew larger and his breathing shallower, you felt every naive hope slip from your fingertips and your hands gripped your hair fiercely.

What should I do?

Your mind, the instinctual and primal part, is screaming at you to rip his helmet off and treat him, to save him. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world - and to most, it was. But the other half of your mind is making you hesitate. You can’t remove his helmet, not without a terrible sense of guilt washing over your very being at the thought of taking away his way of life, his entire reason for living. Neither you or Din had ever really discussed what you were supposed to do in a situation like this, what you were supposed to do when it came to his life or his way of life. Your heart felt like it was going to burst from your chest at any moment and felt like it was breaking simultaneously as you watch the man you love bleed out on the metal floor of the ship. And as you gazed at his dying form, mere inches away from you, one final thought crossed your mind.

You couldn’t live without him.

Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was entirely a selfish and stupid reason to do what you did, but before you knew what was happening your hands lunged for the metal surrounding his head and pulled it off slowly, careful not to move his head more than necessary. You paused for a moment when your eyes finally fell upon the face of the man who held your heart. Despite his terrible medical state, you realized he was strikingly handsome. Thick dark hair atop his head and a dark scruff to match. You shook your head quickly, bile starting to rise in your throat as the realization of what you had just done hit you full force, almost knocking the wind out of you. You try and shove down the guilt and anxiety and instead focus on fixing him up. You find the lone canister of bacta spray, reserved for critical emergencies, and locate the wound on Din’s head. You gently place your hands on either side of his face and cautiously tilt his head side to side until you locate the source of bleeding. There was a large gash running from the back of his head to just under his left ear and it was deep. You quickly sprayed a liberal amount of the medical spray onto the wound and set his head back down gently. You notice some other smaller and less concerning scrapes on his face, but decide not to worry about them at the moment.

Your plan was to put Din’s helmet back on, and treat his other wounds, hoping that he wouldn’t even know that you removed his helmet in his vulnerable state. You swiftly replace the helmet back where it belonged before stitching up his less life threatening wounds on his chest and arms. You worked in silence, casting intermittent glances back towards his visor. What he wouldn’t know won’t hurt him...Right?

***

Wrong.

You were so wrong.

Well, you weren’t completely wrong, in the fact that he wouldn’t know, because he didn’t. The Mandalorian had stayed unconscious for three days, resting and healing from his brush with death, and when he woke up, he was none the wiser.

A startled gasp left your lips when a hand settled on your shoulder over the pilot's chair. You looked behind you only to see Din, fully armored and standing with his hand rested gently on your shoulder giving it a small squeeze.

“Thank you,” he says earnestly, “I know it couldn’t have been easy...getting me back here and patching me up.”

You feel a lump of guilt form in your throat, making it hard to speak, so you just nod. Causing a bubble of concern to blossom in Din’s chest. You were never usually this quiet.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, voice thick with concern.

You just nod again, and Din takes a seat in the co-pilot's chair behind you, opting not to press the subject. After a few more tense moments of silence, you finally release a shaky breath and glance at him out of the corner of your eye.

“You know I love you...right?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.

Din furrows his brows under his helmet, leaning forward slightly, “of course I know that.”

“Do you love me?” you turn to face him fully now, voice nearly failing you.

Din shakes his head and looks at you, confusion filling his mind, “You know I do,” he splutters, “Why are you even asking me this?”

You shake your head, and swallow thickly, “I just wanted to hear it is all... I almost lost you, you know.”

Din stands and walks over to you, pulling you up and into his chest, hugging you firmly.

“Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you, cyar’ika” he whispered, holding you firmly against him.

A silent tear fell down your cheek at the memory. It had been almost a week since the incident, and the guilt was eating you alive. You were wrong when you thought your actions wouldn’t have consequences. While Din was blissfully unaware of what happened, you were suffering silently and Din was starting to notice.

You had withdrawn from him since the intimate moment in the cockpit. Your usual quirky and sarcastic comments were replaced with silent nods and one word answers, and your sleep was nonexistent. He would often come to bed to find you wide awake, staring up at the ceiling or playing with the child - and even after he had retired to bed with you, you would turn away from him. Din didn’t know what he did wrong, if he was even the problem at all. He just knew that he couldn’t keep going like this - you couldn’t keep going like this. He felt his heart shatter more and more each day as the bags under your eyes became more evident and the spark in your eyes disappeared, replaced instead with what seemed to be constant unshed tears. He finally decided to say something one day while you both were in the cockpit, the child asleep in his pod downstairs, and the first actual moment alone you two had in almost a week. You were staring aimlessly out of the ship at the millions of stars passing by, and Din felt his words catch in his throat as he gazed at you. You looked somewhat peaceful, the first semblance of contentment and calm that has crossed your features in a long time. Din sighed quietly before finally speaking up.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” his voice is small, so small and quiet you almost didn’t hear it. But you did - and it caused a whole new wave of guilt to wash over you and join the guilt already present. You physically deflated and you looked over to Din tiredly.

“I’m just tired is all,” you excuse lamely.

Din shakes his head and turns his seat to face you, “It’s more than that,” he argues, “You haven’t slept since I woke up, you barely eat -”

You cut him off, not ready to face the shell of a person you’ve become, filled with guilt and self-hatred at the thing you did, “I said I’m fine,” you say pitifully, trying to be firm but it instead comes out in a broken whisper.

Din doesn’t stop, “You hardly even look at me anymore, you don’t want to be near me during the day or at night, you don’t even talk to the kid anymore -” he continues to ramble, trying to get you to understand how much you’ve changed, that it hurts him how much you’re withdrawn from him.

“Stop,” your hands find their way into your hair and you grip the strands as if they’ll somehow keep you grounded, “Just stop!” you cry, tears now falling freely down your face.

Din is standing now, and he takes your hands in his own and pulls you to your feet, “Just tell me what I did so I can fix it,” he’s pleading now, he feels his own heart breaking in two at the anguish clear on your face.

You shake your head and try to pull away from him but his hold is firm, “you didn’t do anything!” you exclaim, your thoughts are frantic. You haven’t slept in god knows how long, you can’t even think straight, all you know is that Din is sitting here blaming himself for what you did, and he doesn’t even know it.

“Then what’s wrong?” he’s begging now, “please, cyra’ika, just tell me what I can do, tell me what’s wrong so i can help.”

At these words the dam finally bursts. It's like a flood of all the possible human emotions rush over you at once as you rip your hands from his grip and stumble away from him, no longer in control of your actions.

“You can’t help me!” you wail.

DIn reaches for you again and you swat his hands away as he speaks, “I can try-”

“I took off your helmet” you finally sob.

It’s like a flip is switched.

Din’s soft and concerned demeanor is snatched away in an instant as he stands tall and rigid, taking a step away from you as you stand in the doorway to the cockpit, hand resting on it for support. His chest heaves as he breathes and you can hear it from where you stand, as your skin prickles with the tension now filling the room, and you feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach.

“You what?” His voice is robotic, but you don’t miss the seething anger present in those two words.

Your gaze drops to the floor, “I took it off when you were injured,” you whimper.

Din doesn’t say another word, he just continues to stand where he is and stare at you. Somehow the silence is more unerving than if he were screaming at you, you honestly wish he was doing that - or something other than looking at you in silence. So you try to fill the silence with an explanation.

“You were dying I had to do-”

He cut you off taking a threatening step towards you, “No! You didn’t. You didn’t have to do anything!” he’s yelling now.

You can’t see it, but under the helmet Din is falling apart before you. His heart sank the minute the words came out of your mouth, and his heart ripped in two and made his chest ache. He loved you, he cared for you and yet he could only feel one thing at this moment.

Betrayal.

His mind was foggy with it as he stared at you, anger and rage consuming his entire being. You knew the rules, his creed, his way of life, yet you betrayed his trust and took all of that away from him and it hurt. The one person in the entire galaxy that he felt that he could trust, he had lost.

“What would you have done in my shoes? You were fucking bleeding out on the goddamn floor of the ship! Would you have let me die?” you were bawling now, tears cascading down your cheeks and snot dribbling from your nose as you tried to wipe them both away.

“No I wouldn’t have let you die,” he says, “because saving you wouldn’t have taken away your entire way of life,” he grinds out.

You throw your hands out to the side, “Then what was I supposed to do?”

“You should have let me die.”

The finality in his words shock you to your very core. As if that was the only reasonable answer to the problem at the time, like it was so obvious, you shook your head in disbelief.

“Let you die? You would rather me have let you die than save your life?”

“Better than living a life betraying the people who took me in.”

You could feel yourself crumbling from within, you were losing him, and it was all your fault.

“I’m sorry! Din you have to understand-”

“Stop!” he yelled, his words harsh and clipped, “don’t say my name.”

You furrow your brows in confusion and anguish, “What? Please, what are you doing?”

“I trusted you (y/n). I trusted you with everything, and you betrayed it all, you betrayed me-” his voice cracked, and even though you couldn’t see his face you knew he was crying, “so don’t ever say my name again. Ever.” he bites.

It feels like your entire body lost all sense of everything. Everything was numb, everything except the deep ache in your chest where your heart was supposed to be.

“I love you, I couldn’t just let you die,” you whisper desperately, trying in vain to get him to understand.

Mando turns on his heel and returns to the pilots seat, helmet turned only slightly towards you, “if you really loved me, you would have let me die on that floor. Because this-” he gestures vaguely around him, “knowing my creed has been destroyed by the one person I trusted most….It’s worse than any death.”

He turns back to the controls before you can speak, “we’ll do what we have to do until we find the kid’s species. Then you have to go.”

His voice is cold and calculated. Nothing like what you have been used too since you all have been together, and you realize in that instant that this isn’t Din. It’s the Mandalorian. You had lost Din the minute you told him what you did.

So you just nod, knowing he can’t see you and leave the cockpit, going to the spare cot in the back of the ship for the first time since you had become partners. You collapse into the cot curling your knees into your chest as you let sobs wrack your body. You had ruined everything, all because you let your own love and emotion get in the way. You knew you wouldn’t change a thing...you couldn’t. You loved the man in beskar, more than life itself, so even though you knew it would ruin things - you would make the same decision again. At least he would still be with you, even if he hated you now. As you continued to cry over what you lost, the first signs of sleep in days finally overcame you. And as you fell into a dreamless slumber, you were unaware of the usually stoic Mandalorian crying over what he lost too.

****

15 years later

True to his word, Din had let you stay and help him until the child was successfully reunited with his people. Fifteen years it had taken to find the child's home. Fifteen years full of empty space and weeks of drifting and the black, star filled void as they searched beyond the known universe. You could count on two hands the amount of times you and Din had spoken to one another since that fateful night. You lived with your decision every day since then, the guilt was ever present in your mind as you continued to exist with Din and the child. He kept his helmet on, despite the creed being broken, and you didn’t dare ask why. Something that Din was grateful for since he wouldn’t have had an answer.

These past fifteen years had been the hardest on Din than the forty before them. He still loved you. He knew that he could never really stop loving you. But he could also never find it in himself to forgive either. The betrayal ran too deep, the fact that you of all people were the one to do it, made it even worse. So, in his day to day life, he did his best to avoid you and when he did have to interact with you it was strictly professional and with as little talking as possible. Because he knew if he allowed himself to open up again, he would forgive you immediately. It had been a long fifteen years, and the emotional and physical damage of this time were showing on both you and Din.

He had noticed this as he stood next to you on a tropical planet, the one he was dropping you off on after all these years, just like he said he would once their mission was complete. It was inhabited, not well known but had ports if you ever wished to leave. As much as he wanted too, he didn’t hate you. He wasn’t going to dump you on some hell hole planet and leave. He wanted you to be happy, he just couldn’t be a part of it...not without feeling that constant betrayal and mistrust.

He had managed to find a small beach and landed the ship, watching silently as you gathered your things into a backpack and exited the ship without a word. He followed behind you a few paces, watching as you kicked your shoes off and took them in your hands before wiggling your toes in the sand and turning your face up towards the sun, eyes slipping closed. He finally followed you the rest of the way out and took a place next to you and that’s when he truly noticed the damage the last fifteen years had done.

He could see the silver hair blending with your natural color around your roots and along the top of your ears. He noticed the small wrinkles around your eyes as you cast a bittersweet smile at the sun. but most of all, as you finally turned to look at him, he noticed the faraway look in your eyes, the absence of any and all meaningful emotion.

You gave him a small smile, “Guess this is goodbye.”

Mando doesn’t say anything, he can’t past the lump in his throat, so he just nods.

The first emotion he’s seen in awhile, sadness, passes through your eyes as you continue to stare at him.

“I did it because I loved you, you know? Still do.” you say sadly, face turning back to look across the ocean at the lowering sun.

Din is silent for a moment before he nods, “I know.”

A smile spreads across your face, a genuine contented smile, and you turn to look at him one last time.

“Good luck out there Mando.”

Then you turn and walk along the shoreline, leaving your footprints in the sand behind you.

Under the helmet, a tear leaves a trail down Din’s cheek as he watches you leave, the ocean waves washing away the prints in the sand as you get further and further away. Once he can no longer see you, only then does he turn and enter the ship, closing the door behind him, and taking off.

You watch from the shoreline as the telltale silver streak of the Razor Crest glints across the sky and into the galaxy above. And as you sit in the sand and Din sits amongst the stars, you both realize you are both truly and utterly alone.

- - - - - - - - 

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[lauwrite1225]

Candide Crush || Modern!Finan x reader

For @geekandbooknerd birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN QUEEN !! I hope you'll like it !

Prompt : You said I am a good man," he said. "But I am not that good a man. And I am--I am catastrophically in love with you.

Warnings : Fluff, a little bit of angst and SMUT

You dropped your bag on one of the amphitheatre's tables before falling yourself on the chair. It was 8am and definitely too early to start a long day of classes. As you took your notebook and pencil from your bag, your two friends joined you.

"Wow, Y/N, you look like you haven't slept." Gisela commented, sitting at your left. 

"That's because she hasn't." Aethelflead chuckled. 

You frowned, not understanding what she meant. "I've slept." 

Aethelflead sat down and started to search her things in her bag. "My brother told me Finan didn't sleep at the collocation, again." She looked up to you, with a mischievous smirk. 

A million insults popped in your head, all destined to Osferth, as you felt your face turned red. Your reaction made Aethelflead smile even more. 

"For how long have you been sleeping with him?" Gisela asked, shocked by the news, but you could see she was excited about it. 

Since you met Finan at the library a year ago, a terrible story of him spilling coffee on your shirt, you haven't stopped going from surprise to surprise with him. Before that day you've never seen him, and now he seemed to be anywhere you go. From an absolute stranger, he went to Osferth's flatmate and Gisela's boyfriend's best friend. Not to mention that he had some classes in common with you. 

You couldn't tell what the universe had planned for you two, but he was determined to make it happen. And you were thanking him for that. 

The minute you laid eyes on him, your heart stopped and you hadn't even heard him excusing himself as a coffee stain was spreading on your t-shirt. That day, he had given you the red plaid shirt he was wearing above his t-shirt to replace your top.

"Y/N?" Gisela insisted.

"Two weeks." You mumbled.

"Two weeks!" She exclaimed, students turning their heads towards your small group. 

"Jeez Gisela!" You whisper - shouted. "Tell it to the whole earth as long as you're at it." Aethelflead was chuckling again.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Gisela continued her interrogatory, much to your dismay. 

"Because… There's nothing official. We are just... having good times together." You tried to explain but you knew Gisela wouldn't agree. 

"Nothing official? You're in love with him, Y/N." 

"That I know." You sighed. 

While you were speaking, the amphitheatre got full of students and the teacher took place at his desk to start the lesson. 

"You should clarify this situation, and soon." Gisela whispered. "Or it'll hurt you even more if it doesn't work." 

You hated when Gisela was lecturing you, but she was right. 

…

"Osferth!" Aethelflead shouted through the cafeteria. 

Her half brother turned away and smiled at both of you. He joined you, his lunch in a small bag, with him Finan and Sihtric. 

"Where's Gisela?" Sihtric asked, visibly not used to see you without her at the university.

"She's lunching with Uhtred." You answered. Uhtred and Gisela were together for what seemed forever and loved never faded between them. 

You started to talk about each of your classes this morning. Regularly, you could feel Finan's eyes on you, and each time you couldn't help but have images of your last night. He was smirking, as if he was knowing what was happening in your mind. So you decided it was a better idea to avoid his gaze. 

"What if we go out tonight?" Aethelflead proposed. 

"I can't, I promised my mother I'd spend the weekend with her." Osferth answered, disappointed. 

"Great, I've the flat on my own." Finan grinned before biting in his sandwich. 

"Do not dare to make any party." The blonde warned him, narrowing his eyes in a threatening way.

"Ya're not funny, Baby Monk." He complained, but Osferth was right to forbid him, last time, the flat wasn't looking as one anymore. 

"Anyway, Sihtric? Y/N? Finan? You're coming?" Aethelflead asked again, staring at each one of you. 

"Why not?" You shrugged, closing the box where used to be your food. "I don't know if I'll stay long though, I'm hella tired." 

"Are you?" She pretended to be surprised. "God, Y/N, you should stop working so late." She gently patted your shoulder, fakely emphatic, but you turned red and you're pretty sure you heard Finan choking while drinking water. 

There was a big silence during which Sihtric seemed to be the only one to not understand what was happening. "Hum, I can come tonight." He said to ease the awkwardness. "I might propose Ealswith to join." 

"Excellent idea!" Aethelflead exclaimed. 

…

The pub was already full when you arrived with Aethelflead. Fortunately, Sihtric, Ealswith, Gisela and Uhtred were already at a table with enough space for the missings. You were late thanks to Aethelflead who asked you hundreds of questions about Finan and you. You had to tell her about that night they spent in a club with your usual group of friends and how Finan proposed to walk you back to your flat and finished to literally sleep in your bed.

"Sorry to be late." You said taking the empty place at Gisela's left. 

"Don't worry, Finan is still missing." Uhtred waved his hand, smiling at you. 

"That wouldn't be Finan if he was in time." You joked. "You all have already ordered something?" You noticed, pointing the cocktails and beers already on the table.

"We did. It's the happy hours for the mojito." Gisela winked, knowing it was your favourite. 

You stood up and walked to the bar after Aethelflead asked you to take one for her. You waited patiently at the countertop for your order, until you felt someone behind you. 

"Ya're beautiful tonight." You didn't even need to turn around to recognize Finan's heavy irish accent. 

You looked down to your dress, a light pink with little flowers printed on it, and smiled at him above your shoulder, hoping the redness of your cheeks wasn't too noticeable. 

"Thank you." 

He came to lean against the bar, his fingers lightly grazing your waist as he did so. He ordered a beer and you let your eyes detail every inch of his face. His hair was brushed, at least he visibly tried, and a thin beard was covering his cheeks and jaw. His deep brown eyes seemed to spark under the pub's light and his usual smile was curving his lips. You bit your lower lips, to restrain your want to kiss him. 

"So… Aethelflead knows?" He raised an eyebrow and turned his head to you.

"Well, Osferth noticed you weren't sleeping at the flat and Aethelflead noticed how sleep deprived I looked this morning." You explained and Finan seemed to be amused. 

"It was inevitable, they are too smart for their own good." He shrugged.

You frowned for a second. He didn't seem to bother him that your friends knew you were fucking together. You didn't really know how to interpret it. You thought back about what Gisela told you this morning, and somehow, it gave you a little hope.

The barman gave you your orders and you walked with Finan back to the table. Once back at your place, you tried to participate to the conversation. You spent a goodnight, laughing and talking coming to your mind.

Around midnight, all of you left the bar. Aethelflead was clung to your arm, giggling at anything she found funny in the street, even if it wasn't. She was too drunk to go back alone to her flat. You decided to accompany her and Finan proposed to join. Once in Aethelflead's flat, you put her to bed, letting a bottle of water on her nightstand, knowing she'll need it in the morning. 

Finan was waiting for you in the doorway. "We can go." You smiled, closing the door. "Do you accompany me to my flat?" You asked him as you walked back in the street.

"Well, I thought we could go to my flat instead." He said, innocently smiling. 

"I thought Osferth asked you to not organize a party." You raised an eyebrow and he started to laugh. 

"I appreciate that you think havin' sex with me equate a party, but I think it should be fine if you don't tell him." He elbowed you slightly making you giggled. 

In a short matter of time you were in his flat. The moment his door was closed, he kissed roughly, his hand brushing the soft skin of your thigh. His hand was cold and you hummed against his mouth, a shiver running along your spine. His fingers played with the string of your knickers and you quickly worked on the buttons of his shirt. He removed his hands a moment to let his cloth drop on the floor and you took this time to get rid of your underwear. 

"Are ya in a hurry." He growled against your neck.

"Are you?" You teased him, following the invisible line between his belly button and the button of his trousers. 

"I thought about it the whole day." He admitted and it made your heart beat faster. 

He firmly grabbed your thighs and lifted you as you were a feather. Your legs around his hips, your mouth on his, he walked to the couch to sit on it, you on his laps. He groaned, pressing yourself on his hips, desperate for his touch. And he waited no time to please you, his fingers finding their way between your legs. It had been just two weeks since you started laying together, and yet it felt like he already knew your body by heart. His thumb brushed your sensitive spot and two of his fingers were inside you, curling in an enchanting way, your hips following the rhythm.

"Fuck!" You moaned, your breath short. Your lips searched his, but he preferred pressing them along the line of your jaw. "Finan, please…" You begged him and you felt him chuckle.

"Ya're the one in a hurry it seems." He smirked, removing his hands from between your thighs. 

A frustrated sigh escaped your lips while he took his wallet out of his pocket and took a condom in it. You left his laps for him to remove his trouser and rolled the condom on his cock. He then took your hand and guided you back on his laps. His palms on your hips, you slid on him slowly, provoking a low groan from Finan. You established the rhythm, holding the back of his neck, your thigh tightened against his hips. He touched your breasts through the fabric of your dress and you regretted not removing it before. But the thought quickly faded as you felt the warmth of pleasure taking control of your body. You moaned, quickening your pace as you felt his breath getting heavier against your neck. 

You lost yourself when he started to thrust back, his hands falling down on your ass, his name falling from your lips. He came not long after, groaning and his fingers tensing and digging your skin. Your forehead fell on his shoulder while you tried to steady your breath. His fingertips gently caressed your thigh and when you lifted your head, he pressed a tender kiss on your lips, creating butterflies in your stomach. 

"Are ya stayin' for the night?" He asked you as you left his laps.

"Do you want me to?" 

"I wouldn't complain if you stay." He said, removing the condom and putting back his boxer and trouser. "Just to know if I have to walk ya back." 

"Oh! What a good man." You teased him while he walked to the trash. 

He rolled his eyes and leaned against the kitchen's counter. "So are ya stayin'?" He asked again. 

"Well, if you insist." You smiled but honestly, you could have said yes right away  

…

You ended up spending the whole week-end at Finan's flat. It was the first time you spent so much time alone with him and you couldn't deny that you wanted it to happen again. You two had laughed, watched movies and studied together, in between some unholy distractions. Any person could think you were just a simple couple, but you weren't and it made your heart squeeze to realise it when you finally left the flat. 

"Why do you look so sad after you have spent the week-end fucking with the man of your dream?" Aethelflead asked as she sat in front of you in the grass. It was midday and Gisela had proposed that the three of you spent the two hours break in the park next to your university. 

"Did something happen?" Gisela put a hand on your knee and squeezed it lightly.

"No, nothing particular. I mean… You are right Gisela…" You sighed, your fingers playing nervously with a bracelet around your wrist. "I can't continue like this with him." 

"Then you must talk to him." 

And it's what you tried to do for the whole week, finding the right moment. But there was no moment when you were just the two of you. You've been ignoring his message as well, but Finan was no fool and the following Monday, he sat next to you during one of your common classes. 

"I started to think you died during the weekend." He said, taking his laptop out of his bag.

"Ahum… Sorry I was busy." He narrowed his eyes but he didn't insist.

"Are you coming to Uhtred's party this weekend?" He asked you. 

"Oh yes, Gisela told me about it. Are you going?" He nodded and you smiled, maybe you'd finally have the moment you waited for the whole last week. 

…

"What if he doesn't feel the same?" You asked probably for the hundred times, making Gisela roll her eyes as she closed the zipper of your dress. 

"Then he is stupid." She said, looking you in the eyes in the mirror. 

"I'd feel more like the stupid one." You sighed and Gisela pinched your side. "Ouch! What was that for?!" You yelped.

"Do not pity yourself, Y/N. Uhtred talked to him this weekend, he was worried that you were avoiding him." She explained to you while walking to take her jacket on your bed. 

"Did he?" You couldn't help the smile to curve your lips and the flush on your cheeks. 

"He cares for you." 

With Gisela's words in mind, you made your way to Uhtred's flat. Tonight would be the night and you were determined about it. Gisela's boyfriend greeted you with a huge hug after kissing your friend. 

"Finan is late as usual, but he shouldn't be long." He winked at you. 

You smiled at him and walked in. Barely a minute passed before Aethelflead almost jumped on you to welcome you. At the smell of her breath when she kissed your cheek, she had already drunk some alcohol. 

"Come Y/N! You need to taste this rum! It's fucking good." Aethelflead dragged you by the hand to the table with the drinks and foods. 

As much as you were determined to keep your mind clear until Finan arrived, Aethelflead was certainly even more to make you join her in her drunkenness. You were anxious about the discussion and you were glad to feel alcohol effects on you. You were joyful, dancing and singing with Aethelflead and you forgot the main purpose of this party.

Until you perceived him at the other side of the room. Maybe it was the alcohol, but you found him more handsome than ever. He was smiling and laughing with someone you had briefly perceived at university, a girl with light red hair. 

"Y/N!" Your friend called you and looked back to Aethelflead. "What are you looking at?" 

"There's Finan." You said, under your breath. 

"Oh my god!" She gasped. "Go! Go get your man!" She pushed you in his direction making you laugh. 

You walked through the crowd, seeing only him as your heart was threatening to explode. You opened your mouth to call him but you got suddenly aware of the closeness of the girl talking to him. Her hand ran from his chest to neck, pulling him to her. You stepped back the moment her lips touched his. 

You felt the first tears blurring your vision as you stood in the center of a dancing and shouting crowd, feeling as your whole word was falling apart. 

Finan pulled his mouth away from the girl and he met your gaze. You couldn't describe the emotion behind his eyes, maybe surprise, but you were sure your deception was clear behind yours. 

You started to run away to Uhtred's flat's door, not even stopping when you heard Finan calling after you. You rushed down stairs and you walked in the streets, wiping the tears with the back of your hand. When you finally made it to your house, you were angry at yourself, for having imagined that there could be something more between the two of you. But you were just a fuck to him and you'd been stupidly in love with him. 

You only fell asleep when your body couldn't handle your sobs anymore. When morning came, you didn't even have the courage to get out of your bed. You reached for your phone on your nightstand and sighed at all the messages and missed calls you had. You briefly took a look at them and you got surprised when you saw that Finan had tried to call you and sent you texts. 

Finan 23.45

Y/N, please, answer me

Finan 23.56

I'm in front of your building. Please let me in.

His last message was sent at 1 am, telling you he was going back home. A part of you melted to see he cared about you enough to come and wait for you in the street for an hour, the other part was still angry and didn't want to hear any of what he had to say. You just locked your phone and put it aside, wrapping yourself in your covers again. 

You finally put a foot out of your bed when you heard your phone ring. You sighed, seeing Gisela's name appear on your scream

"What?" You said as you picked your phone. 

"It's about time! The hell have you been doing!" Gisela shouted, making your head hurt. 

"Don't yell at me, please." You mumbled and you heard her exhale through the phone. 

"I'm in front of your building, can you open?" She asked you more kindly. 

"Let me dress up." 

You ended the call and dressed up with a jogging and a sweatshirt before going downstairs. You opened the door, expecting to meet Gisela's angry face but instead, she took you in her arms, hugging you tightly. It felt good after spending your night alone with your heartbreak. 

"I've been so stupid." You whispered as she pushed away from you.

Gisela rolled her eyes. "Yes, you've been stupid to run away without letting him talk to you." 

"You know?" You frowned. 

"Of course I know, Finan didn't stop blaming himself." She explained you and your heart tightened hard in your chest. 

"But that girl kissed him." You replied, crossing your arms against your chest. 

"Damn Y/N, you're probably not the only girl in love with him." She sighed and you felt your face turn red of shame. 

"I'm even more stupid then." You mumbled, your gaze locked on the floor

"Well, you'll have an occasion to catch up." You looked up to her, raising an eyebrow. "Finan told me he would come in two hours to talk to you. So you should hurry and prepare yourself because you look like you just stepped out of your grave."

You followed Gisela's advice, rushing in the shower and trying to look decent, but your eyes were still a little swollen and red. You dressed yourself and dropped on your couch. Now you had to wait, and it felt like hours before your phone finally rang. You walked down your building again and took a deep breath before opening the door. 

Finan was standing just in front of you, a shy smile on his face. He seemed embarrassed, which looked strange on him. 

"Hi!" He said.

"Hi, come in." You replied, making space for him to enter. 

You walked back to your flat. Once you closed your door, a heavy silence settled in the room. You didn't know if you should be the one starting the conversation, you didn't even know what to say.

"Do you wan-" You started but he cut you.

"I'm sorry." He declared stepping toward you. "I've fucked up."

"Don't say that…" You looked down to the floor, avoiding his eyes. 

"It's the truth Y/N." 

"You didn't mean to kiss that girl." You briefly raised your gaze to see his surprised gaze. "Gisela told me this morning." You explained to him, your hands rubbing the back of your neck. "I've acted stupidly."

"It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been a coward all this time." You frowned, about to ask him why he was saying such things, but he spoke before. "You said I am a good man," he said. "But I am not that good a man. And I am… I am catastrophically in love with you."

Your lips parted and your heart missed a beat as you tried to take in what he just told you. "Are you serious?" 

"Of course I'm serious! I should have told ya a month ago, before we started this." He raised his hands in the air before letting them fall back on his sides. "I'm so sorry, I've hurt you." 

You stepped forward put your hands at each side of his face. You met his brown eyes and everything that happened last night seemed to wash away from your mind. One of your hands slid on his hair, pulling down to you, until your nose touched his and your breaths mixed themselves. 

"Kiss me." You whispered and he slowly pressed his lips against yours. 

It was a breathtaking kiss, like none you had shared before with him, nor anyone, and yet, you felt more than alive at this moment. It was as if all your senses were sending warnings in your head, all of them remembering you that he was kissing you. 

His hands on your hips, he pulled you closer and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You left his mouth a brief mouth, breathless. 

"I love you too. Since you spilled your fucking coffee on me." You smiled and he heartily laughed, his chest rumbling against yours. 

"Sorry about that again." He smirked before kissing your cheek lightly. "But I'd do it again, if it's the only way to have ya in my life." He said between the kisses he pressed until he met the collar of your t-shirt. 

"But was it worth it?" You hummed, teasing him, his hand sliding under your shirt to curve on your waist. 

"Oh, it was." He growled in your ear. "The best thing I've ever done." You could easily imagine his smile as he was still kissing your neck, his fingers teasing your side. 

"Show me then." He lifted his head, meeting your eyes, not making another move for a few seconds.

He took your mouth in a deep kiss, his lips dancing with yours as he grabbed your thighs to pick you up. He walked to your bedroom, gently dropping you down on the bed. He knelt in front of you, removing his shirt as you did the same. He leaned down to kiss you, your lips parting to let his tongue meet yours, deepening the kiss. 

His palms were all over your skin, goosebumps appearing after the shiver his touch provoked you. His right hand curved your breast while he kissed the other. You sighed in appreciation, his mouth hot on your nipple. Your owned fingers tangled in his hair as he was kissing down on your stomach. He briefly looked up to you, waiting for your approval to unbutton your pants and pull it down your legs, your underwear following. He did the same with his own and then rolled a condom before touching you again. 

He was slow, his hand sliding between your legs, taking the time to feel every inch of you. And you would be lying if you'd say you didn't like it. It has alway been some sort of rushed sex between the two of you, and you never really had the time to let your hands touch him. But now you could, discovering the way his muscles tensed under your fingertips.

"Oh fuck." You gasped as he pushed a finger inside you. 

You grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him in an urgent kiss as he worked on growing the warmth in your belly. Your lips parted when his thumb brushed your most sensitive spot and he bit playfully your lower lips. 

"Stop teasing me." You almost begged under your breath but he didn't stop, kissing your neck instead. "Finan, please… I want you." He looked up to you and his eyes seemed to spark in response to your words. 

He removed his hands, making you hummed in frustration. "Say that again." He grinned. 

"Oh god Finan." You sighed. "I want you. I need you." You whispered and he smiled even more. 

In a short matter of time, he was in you, his thrusts deep and slow as his fingers dug the flesh of your hip. It was hard to keep your mind in order when this felt so right. Everything seemed to fit perfectly, his palm on your hip, his lips on yours, his fingers tangled with yours and him in you. Everything was perfect, even the sound of your name escaping his mouth as he came, your own body tensing by the hot wave exploding in it. 

Finan fell on his back next to you, breathless but a huge smile spread on his lips. And you couldn't help but chuckle lightly at how good you felt right now.

He turned his head to you, raising an eyebrow. "You were right, it was definitely worth it." You said, looking at him. And he joined you in your laughter. 

And strangely, everything in your life, even the simplest thing, felt right as long he was with you.

Tags : @obipoelover @cocchamscrew @geekandbooknerd @othermoony @limenal @poguesmaybank

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Hey, so, my older cousins when I was little, would take me out on just little dates. Like, we'd go see a movie and go shopping or go to a fair if one was in town. What would each member of the SPN yanfam do for their 1 on 1 date with the reader?

Dude, all the SPN yanfam would totally do this!!! They all get their own individual day with Reader.

Gabriel is hella fun!!! Him and Reader are always going to be doing something fun. He has the whole day planned out and you bet it’s going to be an exilerating time. Ice scaring? Yeah! Sky diving? Hell yeah!! You know there’s going to be a lot of fun with Gabriel, hella fun.

Raphael is way more chill when he spends time with Reader. Sure he can be smothering and just as suffocating as his brothers but he’s not physically all over Reader like everyone else is. But he’s still hella possessive of his time and he will not stand for anyone interrupting it. I could see him taking Reader to museums even he doesn’t care too much for the human race and everything that has to revolve around them, but if Reader likes it then he can bare with it.

Michael is fine doing whatever, he just wants to spend his time being with Reader. He’s down for doing whatever Reader wants to do. Michael is the one to be quick to kill anyone who looks at Reader or the both of them wrong.

Lucifer is the one who’s going to try and get Reader to cause trouble with him. It’s gonna be fun but the cops are bound to get called sooner or later. It’ll be one hell of a day for Reader.

Sam and Dean usually spend their individual day or days together with Reader. There are rare times that they don’t share their time with each other. Dean is going to buy junk food and anime, while Sam is cool with just cuddling or vibing, maybe reading. Honestly Sam and Dean’s days are always relaxing and chill.

Cas is a little clueless as to what to do with Reader, like he never really knows what to plan out. Most of the time it’s the two of them sitting quietly waiting fo ether other to do something, but Cas is still chill to be with. He’s not as smothering as the other angels but he can have his moments. He’s usually down for whatever Reader wants to do but he’s still nice to be around. I could see him taking Reader to adopt a dog, cat, or something. Reader just comes home with a new puppy or kitten, maybe even a parakeet?

Yandad!Chuck is kinda awkward to spend time with, like he tries way too hard and it comes off clumsy. It’s funnier to watch him stumble over how to be a parent and what to do then anything he’s actually done. He’ll get into a rhythm and have a feel for what Reader would want or like to do and it’ll get better but at first it’s pretty fun just to watch him struggle.

Crowley is another one who is gonna end up causing trouble with Reader. He doesn’t plan to but it’s inevitable. He’ll take them to chill out in hell, maybe play some Yahtzee? He’s the type to honestly spend all day playing board games and it would be so fun, especially if he’s losing.