#like oh one clause is separated by a comma and the other by a dash

[cluelessbees]

Call me crazy but I’m a slut for em dashes

[writeroftheprompts]

Oh hi! This ask might be a little particular because I do feel confident enough in my stories but I got a little problem and this is that English isn't my native language and I keep using the punctuation rules of my language. So I wanted to know if I could get a summary for it. (For example, I still have no clue as to what is the Oxford Comma :/) Thank you a lot! Love the blog

Ask and ye shall receive! I actually wrote a little cheat sheet of some punctuation uses a few years ago. Your question about the oxford comma will be answered below but I wanted to add more grammar information while I was at it. I’ve added a bit to it now to make more sense but I should say that this is a simplified cheat sheet of some grammar points that can be more complicated (but don’t have to be hard to understand) so I apologize if in summarizing I miss something. 

I should also say that since it was years ago I don’t have the exact sources I used to compile it but as far as I remember the main places I used were GrammarBook.com, Grammar Girl, and I used Grammarly today to add a few other things (though I personally would not recommend using the Grammarly plugin). 

Okay, first I want to talk about some basic points about grammar so the punctuation makes more sense.

A complete sentence includes a subject, verb, and object. The subject is the noun that is doing the thing in the sentence, the verb is the action, and the object is the thing being acted on. John(subject) eats(verb) pizza(object). Some sentences have implied subjects or objects. For example: John walks. That is technically a complete sentence even though it is short. You can think of it like John is the subject and object who is walking himself. A sentence also needs to express a complete thought.

A clause is a group of words that has a verb (predicate) and a subject. A complete (or independent) clause is like a full sentence in that it can stand on its own. An incomplete (or dependent) clause is like a piece of a sentence that needs to be joined to another clause to be part of a full sentence. Although John is lactose intolerant, he loves to eat pizza. In this example the italicized part is the dependent clause because it can’t stand alone as a sentence, the underlined part can.

So a combination of clauses can be a full sentence, a dependent clause is not a sentence, but an independent clause can be a full sentence.

Conjunction: and, but, or, nor…

Adjective: words that describe nouns

Adverb: words that describe verbs (commonly end in -ly)

So now let’s talk about punctuation points that affect sentence grammar, specifically commas, semicolons, and the difference between hyphens, en dashes, and em dashes (there is a difference). I’ll give a list of the uses of each and briefly how it’s used. Examples are in the parentheses.

Commas

lists

when using two adjectives (he is a strong, healthy man)

surrounding a name. (Will you, Ashley, do it for me)

interjections (I am, as you have probably noticed, very nervous)

connecting incomplete clauses but beware of comma splices. This is where you connect two complete clauses with a comma without a conjunction (I love to ride my motorcycle, it is so fast. A way to fix it would be either to use a period or: I love to ride my motorcycle because it is so fast.)

phrases that start sentences (As you can see, this puppy is adorable.)

separating two strong clauses with but, and, or, for, nor…

The Oxford comma: a comma in a list before “and” or “or” in a list (The bananas, apples, and pears had gone bad)

There’s controversy over whether people should use the oxford comma because in the example above it is not really necessary so it is mostly a style choice. But there are instances where it can make a big difference. Here’s an example from Grammarly: I love my parents, Lady Gaga and Humpty Dumpty. This could be interpreted to mean that your parents are Lady Gaga and Humpty (see point three). Using the Oxfrod comma avoids that possible misunderstanding by writing it: I love my parents, Lady Gaga, and Humpty Dumpty.

separating pieces of a sentence for confusion (We bought sweaters and I picked out red and green, and blue was his first choice.)

quotations. Always put a comma either before a quote or after depending on where you put the tag (He said, “I’m so tired.” OR “I’m so tired,” he said.)

separating statements from a question (I can’t go, can I?)

Contrasting. (This is mine, not yours)

surround however, therefore, etc. when used as interrupters

Semicolons

Connecting two closely related independent clauses without a conjunction. (Call me tom; I’ll give my answer then). This is another way to fix comma splices. Both pieces of that sentence are independent clauses, but they make sense connected. A comma is too weak to do the job, but a semicolon can. So, when connecting two independent clauses either use a conjunction (and, but, or…) or a semicolon.

separate units in a list when comas have already been used. (The train stops at Montreal, Quebec; Toronto, Ontario; London, Ontario…)

With conjunctions when a comma has already been used sort of like the example above.

HYPHEN (-) 

(Note: the following differences are more nitty-gritty grammar things that you should know if you are really pursuing writing and publishing but in general I don’t think most people know this. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as en and em dashes until I looked this all up)

This is just the hyphen button on the keyboard

compound (eye-opener)

adjectives before noun (friendly-looking man)

adverbs not ly before noun (well-known actress)

numbers (thirty-two)

fractions (one-third)

prefixes on PROPER nouns (un-American)

prefixes ending in ‘a’ or ‘i’ if starts with same letter (ultra-ambitious) if they are different vowels don’t (proactive)

double e and o usually make one word except for (de-emphasize co-owner)

EN DASH (–) 

On a Mac, you can make this by pressing Option + -

differentiation (1997–2013, US–Canada border)

EM DASH (—)

On a Mac, you can make this by pressing Option + Shift + -

source of quote (Inspirational quote — Alex)

informal writing instead of semicolon (I pay the bills—she has all the fun)

interjections or asides (I just needed to say—I can’t believe I’m doing this—I’m in love with you.)

the above two points are sort of stylistic. As you might see you can use semicolons or em dashes so it depends on your writing preferences. From what I’ve seen, most novels and such use the em dashes instead of semicolons.

Change in thought or tone (I just wish—never mind.)

Incomplete thoughts in quotations (Emma was saying, “I couldn’t believe when I saw—” when an alien jumped out of the bush and attacked.)

These were the things that I wanted more clarification on when I wrote this and so I figured other probably would benefit from it too. Obviously there are a lot of other parts of grammar and punctuation so if you have any specific requests I can try to help you out!

[satheon]

The Sins You Commit in Your Writing

It’s a long one. Sorry.

Last week, my old college counselor taught me the difference between an English class and a Writing class. You will take an English class in high school as well as in college, but you won’t take Writing until you get to college. 

Here’s the reason why: you will need writing for just about every single career out there. Professional writing, that is. English (at the high school level) is a core subject that one must study in order to be considered “educated,” which is why you’ll also find it in your GenEd requirements. Writing focuses on the professional element of writing. For that class, only one book is required: Strunk and White’s Elements of Style. In an English class, you will go in-depth into all kinds of works, learn how to analyze the plot structure or core elements of a specific piece of work and express your ideas in a clear, concise essay.

So, satheon, why the fuck is English useful if you’re going into anything other than English? Beats me. Why is history useful if you’re not going to become a historian? Science? Math? I don’t know. Don’t ask me. Ask the people who decided this would be our country’s educational system (USA). I’m just glad I don’t have to take them anymore. Writing is the only “practical” English course because every successful scientist, journalist, historian, or whoever the fuck needs to be able to communicate his ideas to other people exactly as he intends them if he wants other professionals to validate or build on his ideas.

But here’s the thing: fiction writers do not give a fuck about the rules. This class is taught in an English major’s freshman year for a reason. And that reason is that writers (you know, the people who will actually make a career out of it) seldom find anything they learn in that class useful. It’ll teach you proper grammar conventions, sure, but that’s about it. What you learn as a writer comes from reading, writing, and breaking the rules.

So without further ado, I present to you the ways in which you have sinned in you

1) You supersaturate your prose. 

It’s actually disgusting. 

You don’t need to explain every little thing because most of what you’re doing can probably hinge off of context. This is vague, I know, so I’ll expand on this later.

Do not try to use bigger words. 

Holy fuck do not use a bigger word because your ashamed of how small it is and you want to sound smarter. Trust me, you’ll sound 200 times dumber.

“It’s not about how big it is, it’s how you apply the force.”

(Yes, this also refers to penises).

2) Semicolons, dashes, and parentheses.

I don’t care if you use them. But it is fucking distracting IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THEM. 

Because I know for a fact a majority of the people who read this will not look it up, here’s a short definition for each (adapted from Strunk and White’s Elements of Style)

Semicolons serve two functions:

1) join two independent clauses whose ideas relate closely enough that they have equal weight

Mary Shelley’s works are entertaining; they are full of engaging ideas.

This function gives the feel of a comma, but it doesn’t halt flow like a full stop (period) does.

You’ll know that you used it correctly if a period could grammatically fit in the same place (99% of the time, it should be a period).

2) separate items in a list in which commas are already used

Jane, the doctor; Elizabeth, the ecologist; Robert, the veterinarian; and Bob, the historian set out on a quest to find the first Coca-Cola ever bottled.

You know what you don’t use a semicolon for? WHEN YOU CAN’T DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO USE A COMMA OR A COLON. I swear to God, if I had a trigger, this would be it.

Example of how NOT to use it: “That’s what villains are supposed to be; evil.”

No. Please stop.

I’m going to mention colons here because I feel it’s necessary.

Colons are preceded by an independent clause, a sentence that could stand completely on its own. No exceptions.

Example:

Jane felt that she needed the following on her trip: water, a toothbrush, and a good book.

NON-example:

Jane felt that she needed: water, a toothbrush, and a good book.

No. Fuck you. 

Colons have a much stronger impact. They place emphasis on whatever follows. 

Example:

Only one thing could stop her now: her arch-nemesis.

Dashes

A dash is a mark of separation stronger than a comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed than parentheses.

In other words, it’s punctuation you use when all else fails.

An abrupt break from prose that is so abrupt that a comma would not serve properly here. If a comma would serve where you want to use a dash instead, chances are that you should just use the comma. 

Jane bought me a--wait, where did I put it?

Dashes also serve to announce long appositives or summaries.

The first thought he had after getting out of bed--if he had any thought at all--was to get back in.

The increasing reluctance of the sun to rise, the extra nip in the breeze, the patter of the shed leaves dropping--all the evidences of fall drifting into winter were clearer each day.

A good rule of thumb: (and yes, I know, I’m breaking the colon rule, but this is suuuuper informal) use it only when you have good reason not to use any simpler punctuation.

Parentheses

Punctuation for whenever you include extra information.

Example:

You may not reproduce this document in any way (this includes, but is not limited to: photography, photocopying, or reproducing verbatim).

You can make me happy in many ways (ex: buy me a car).

NOTE: punctuation such as periods, commas, and other shit like that go AROUND the parentheses (as shown above). A period does not go before a sentence. (like this--because what the fuck ew gross and you’re not supposed to punctuate inside parentheses but what am I gonna do now? oh well.)

Yikes. This is LOOONG.

3) Adverbs.

Especially after “he said” or “she said.” Ugh. Kill me.

I’ll talk about dialogue attribution later. That’s another thing entirely.

Ironically, packing your prose with words doesn’t saturate it; it dilutes it.

Adverbs tell a reader, “I’m afraid that you won’t understand what I mean, so I added this here to clarify.”

Honestly, they have it in context, so they probably know what you mean. 

Here’s an example:

He closed the door firmly.

WEAK, right? If we take the adverb out, we get something stronger:

He closed the door. 

You see how the finality of a period gives off the same message as “firmly,” only stronger?

That doesn’t suit your needs? Well, what about this one?

He slammed the door. 

Oooh, spicy. 

One point stands out: a sentence that doesn’t have adverbs is far more engaging, far more entertaining, and quicker to the point.

4) Punctuation around quotation marks confuse you. 

Allow me to settle it once and for all:

No matter what the case, periods, commas, and semicolons GO INSIDE THE QUOTATION MARKS. 

Example:

She told me that I was “alt-right,” but then again, that’s just her opinion.

“I understand your confusion,” she said, “But I just don’t see the problem.”

Do not use apostrophes as a quotation for an individual letter. Use quotation marks.

If you have any further questions on this...maybe I’ll respond if you message me. I probably won’t.

5) The Oxford comma and the possessive after an “s”

The oxford comma and the possessive after an s irk the shit out of me. I have my own opinions on it.

I do not omit the oxford comma to express my ideas as clearly as possible. I use an ‘s after every single instance of singular possession. 

He brought chips, soda, and pretzels.

Chris’s notes are detailed and precise.

The opposite are also correct. (Just fucking pick one, English!)

Pick one and stay consistent. That’s it. No more debate.

6) Dialogue attribution.

Oh boy. This one’s got a lot of debate. 

Said is not dead.

What is dead is the horrendous substitutes you manage to come up with. “Exclaimed” is just about the only wiggle room I’ll leave in this area.

Using anything fancy or selective could just draw the reader’s attention away from the plot line. It’s nasty. 

if you want to keep avoiding “said” like it’s the plague, fine by me.

But using “he said” or “she said” keeps the reader focused on what really matters. Usually from context of the story, the reader will be able to figure out how they said it.

As Stephen King once said, “To write adverbs is human; to write “he said” or “she said” is divine.”

7) If I need to explain to you at this point what passive voice is or why passive voice is the worst thing to grace the earth (the one exception being that it’s a great way to meet a page count minimum), then give up entirely. Or maybe you’re new. Either way, sorry, but I do not feel like explaining what everyone else has already shot to hell.

I’m going to cut it off here. Remember: these are just my two cents, here. Don’t take it personally/seriously, and please don’t remind me of the sins in my work (I cringe every time, trust me).

Any last recommendations I would give to any aspiring writer is 1) read Strunk and White’s Elements of Style at least once, 2) read Stephen King’s On Writing, and 3) read, read, read! Put in the work, and it’ll be sure to pay off.