#like seriously he’s gonna be bald by 50 if he keeps this up

[ierofangz]

pete wentz’s natural hair i say as my eyeballs bulge out of my head in the shape of giant pink hearts

[stat1cstarz]

🐚『 MICHEAL DE SANTA 』🐚

⇢NSFW ALPHABET ⇠🎧

✧ Genre:smut

≛ Someone requested this, I couldn’t find your request and you sent in an anonymous one, so I couldn’t tag you.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Definitely way better than Trevor, he actually knows how to take care of himself, and you as well. His favorite form of after care is bathing you,getting takeout, and watching a movie. He loves older movies the most, from the 20s to the 50s, he idolizes those couples(aside from the other domestic violence..)

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your breast and lips, he loves putting his lips against either. He loves pinching your nipples,squishing your tits,biting your lips,whatever really.

His favorite body part on himself are his eyes,he’s been complimented a lot for his eyes because of the shape and color. He has “sexy” eyes,and he likes being known for that to.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Always inside you, he has a breeding kink (he has 2 kids for a reason). But seriously, always inside you, I’d you’re against it though, he’ll just cum on your stomach.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves dirty talk,and edging. He doesn’t no why, but they both turn him on a lot, especially edging. He doesn’t mind if you say a few dirty words into his ear,but getting you so close to the edge than stopping makes him hard as a brick. He loves hearing you whine and cry out for him,he wants to keep you whining,and maybe if you’re loud enough he might let you cum.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a few hookups, not as many as the two others,but he knows what he’s doing. He’s primarily focused on his pleasure,but he knows what he’s doing.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary,he gets to see all his favorite parts on you

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Serious, as shit. If you try to make a joke during sex he’ll pull out or stop what he’s doing,cross his arms,and stare at you. He’ll only continue once you apologize or stop laughing

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s bald as a baby down there, only some stubble. He shaves pretty regularly, aside from his arms and legs. But his face and nether regions are clean,he likes being clean,and doesn’t want a chinchilla in his $80 slacks

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Romantic whore,rose petals,candles,red lighting, everything.

On Valentine’s Day he ran you a bath with a rose water bath bomb,and rose petals, with your favorite alcohol,and as a gift, he railed you. Their was water everywhere, but it was worth it

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t jerk off anymore, he was to busy initially, but now if he’s hard, he’ll go to you. He’ll only do it if you’re not in the mood though, he won’t force you to fuck him.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Body worship,praise,degradation

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bedroom, he likes the privacy, and it’s also warm to, he won’t have to worry about it being to hot or to cold. On certain occasions like your birthday,he might take you to a beach near the woods, the remote ones.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When he’s drunk, or when you’re wearing nice clothes

He loves seeing you dressed up, especially in those maxi dresses with a slit, no matter what the dress looks like, he’s gonna fold.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Threesome, he’s not insecure or worried that someone will take you, but he doesn’t want to share you. At least ask for Franklin though, he’ll most likely add him into the mix. He won’t be adding T though, he doesn’t want you near him

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He thinks it’s gay or feminine to give a girl oral, so you’ll have to warm him up to it. He also doesn’t know where the clit is. So at first he’s gonna think you’re supposed to lick the actual hole, and thinks that’s how you get off.

You ended up raw at the end of the night, but he’s learning

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely slow, he’s only rough when he’s drunk,pissed,or when you ask him

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He would rather wait till you got home,he would rather fuck you at home. He likes the privacy, and that he gets to take his time with you

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not risky, he’d consider calling you a whore for the first time to be risky

Don’t bother asking him to include toys or bondage, he’s pretty traditional and he’d think it’s some ‘silly millennial craze’

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s fat,a smoker,an alcoholic, and depressed. He’s gonna last for about one round. If you wanna keep going, you’re on top, he won’t help you neither.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No, absolutely not

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn’t tease you, and he doesn’t wanna be teased

If you try and tease him, he’s gonna give you the silent treatment

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He typically makes soft grunts and moans, he’ll mostly make noises into your ear to.

He has a gravely voice to, so it’s gonna sound like low rumbles.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He has a thing for Somnophilia, he likes waking you up with his dick inside you, or his tongue on you, once he starts eating you out.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Pretty stubby, he’s long, but mostly girthy, with fat balls

He’s about 6-7 inches, and has the girth of a Gatorade bottle

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high, he’s also a whore. He will fuck anything and anyone whenever he wants,and where he wants, especially you

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he’s tired enough, he’ll go to sleep right after, but if he’s got some energy, he’ll start with the after care routine, tuck you in, than fall asleep once you’re situated.

He doesn’t fall asleep after you normally. His excuse is that it’s a nice neighborhood, and if someone were to break in, he’d know.

[jamtoasties3316]

Daniel deciding enough is enough with Lando not beinf seriously trained. For the 3 weeks of summer break, regardless if Lando already has plans, they'll be on Monaco intensively training Lando's pussy whether he likes it or not. Mclaren okayed it as long as Daniel records videos for the sponsors.

Lando wakes up on a plane to LA, handcuffed to the seat turned into a bed, luckily he's under a soft duvet as he can feel that he's completely naked, hairless, and has both of his holes stuffed with tiny dildos. Daniel's in the seat next to him. "we're going to have so much fun, just you and me and michael. We're gonna fix your little pussy."

Lando should have known the dildos weren't normal. For each hour of the flight, they get a little bigger. At the halfway mark Lando is uncomfortable, maybe a 2 on a pain scale. By landing the pain is much worse, a 7 maybe, the dildos feeling so much bigger than when he woke up. Sad thing is, the dildos were barely 50% bigger.

Lando sleeps through leaving the plane and the drive to Daniel's house (the magic of sleeping pills slipped into water). He wakes up in what must be Daniel's playroom, the walls are lined with shelves full of dildos so big they'd tear Lando if he tried to get one in. He's strapped to a gyncelogy chair, a camera pointed at his pussy.

"Good you're awake. Time for your assessment Lando. Say hi to your viewers."

The next 3 weeks will be the worst of Lando's life.

Daniel telling McLaren about his plans and they agree to it as long as every bit of training is streamed. They even help get Lando drugged with sleeping pills so the first part can be filmed without a fuss from him. Daniel undresses him and gives Lando a little enema that makes Lando frown and fuss a bit. And Daniel takes great care shaving Lando's pussy and tutting about Lando not keeping his pussy bald like he is supposed to. Then he presses a little dildo in Landos tiny tight pusst and one in his ass, taunting Lando for how tiny his holes are. He also puts a little vibrator over Lando's clit just because it looks cute with the slick trying to squeeze out besides the dildo.

Lando in a full flight, fully naked but at least covered with a duvet a bit, although its lifted regularly for the cameras opposite the seat. lando whining at the stretch and just trembling and scared about Daniels words and smiling wide eyed as Daniel shows him the dildos he is sinking down on, a horse cock mimic in his ass and a large thick dildo in his pussy and he tells Lando he will get there too.

Lando crying about the stretch of the dildos getting bigger and Daniel reaching out to slap his pussy or squeeze his clit.

Then he falls back asleep and wakes up in a differnt room with a lot of toys ready and his legs in stirrups. Daniel comes over sitting on a rolling chair. and takes the dildos out of Lando before starting the stream, showing everyone the way the little holes are gaping cutely and looking so so sore! Its okay, by the end of the three weeks, Lando will be able to take Michael in both his holes, with some pain. Daniel loves ho cutely Landos belly bulge when something big is shoved up his cunt and he just lets out a waterfal of slick and cumn everytime they pull the dildos out because he is so tight it just seals everything inside him.

Daniel promises he will even take his fist one day.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: [Let us assume he has gone back to school now and this was a weekend affair] Ali: You forgot your 🕯 Ali: expect it in the post, minus the disappointed note from Ro I've taken out Ali: ✈️ trips not guilt trips, welcome Tommy: leave it in, LOVE to hear what she's gotta say about why I'M the one being a holy show Ali: You aren't respecting the sanctity of her offering, is very much the point and gist Ali: she put more letters to it, as standard Tommy: 'course she did Ali: It does mean a lot to her Ali: but yeah, nice to have my 📅 to myself again, can't lie Tommy: meant so much she fucked off soon as the 🎂 candles were out Ali: You know she isn't the party 'til dawn sort Ali: anyway, they'd be coming in for morning service 😅 Tommy: I know it's her party & she can 😭 if she wants to Ali: If I'd known that was the theme, could've made party bags with 🧅 & 🧻 Ali: well, at least you were in your element 🕺 and you kept Meena and Carly entertained Ali: the hostess not being overly concerned herself, like Tommy: this family's hostess with the mostest has & always will be me, honey Tommy: what else do they teach me at this school, like? Ali: I had no idea you were at finishing school, my apologies Ali: how's things with keeping a man then, Holly Housewife? Tommy: Why stop at strutting with 📚 on our heads when we could do it in 🩰 perfectly en pointe, carrying a sulky ballerina all the while? Basically a Latin motto Tommy: & yet I still can't keep a man, cheers for the reminder Ali: Maybe now you're of age they introduce the final string to your bow Ali: quadruple threat = 🎤🕺🎭🍆 Tommy: 😂🤞🙏 Tommy: stole your girl regardless, tell her to call me when she's slept off the festivities Ali: No doubt she will when she's between the next couple of parties 😜 Ali: your girl is here actually, helping Ro 'organise' her presents Ali: dunno where she parked her 🎃 Tommy: I'll join Fraze in the red corner 😍💋💔🤬🎯👿🥤🤡🥵🛑💘 Tommy: those dolls do go walk abouts if you don't keep a 👀 but obviously she was 🤞🙏 I was still there Ali: He might misconstrue that and come to fight for her honour Ali: 🤞🙏 she's in LDN too, naturally Ali: lots of them are haunted, but that last part of your sentence there is the MOST 😱 ever Ali: it's weird when you approach anything fuck boy like Tommy: miscommunication is his thing™ no hard feels or feelings full stop, 'course 💪🚫😭🚫😍 Tommy: what can I say? being back DOES things to me Tommy: it's all the positive masculine role models this family has Ali: Guess it beats a total lack of @Joseph Ali: though he sent her some book about musical theory so he still manages to be the favourite somehow 🤷 Ali: and hey, dad is the best Tommy: v catty & then cuddly of you, Kit Tommy: he doesn't respond to MY efforts at being a daddy's girl exactly the same way somehow 🤷 Ali: we're both living up to what's expected then 😼 Ali: could just be I'm better at it than you though Ali: if your ego will allow it Tommy: can't let our sister fly that flag alone, like Tommy: as for who's better at kissing the arse of authority figures, don't need to dignify that with an answer 'cause my school report will Tommy: you ain't never been a pleasure to have in class Ali: I might genuinely have to shoot myself if anyone ever said anything so asinine about me so you're right Ali: that would be such a waste of potential, not until I've lead a more scandal-filled existence Tommy: you could respect the hustle Tommy: it's getting me 🩰 perks Tommy: disciplined is the head that wears the 👑 hoe Ali: I know all about discipline, trust me Tommy: we've all read 50 shades, you can't take it as gospel Tommy: Ro could write a better bdsm bibe when she's done at church Tommy: bible* Ali: It's all fun and games 'til I walk in on her flagellating herself Ali: how are we explaining that to the shrinks Tommy: that she misunderstood a more sexy f word? Ali: we don't want to look like we're trying to lock her up for that Ali: way too retro, bro Tommy: She wants to be catholic Tommy: I didn't make the rules Ali: No, then da really would hate you Ali: she's got worse Tommy: Yeah Tommy: I know, no amount of drama from the golden couple could detract Ali: not that I haven't heard enough about that though Ali: guess there's too much to put in a passive-aggressive note Tommy: 🙄🥱😴 Tommy: She wasn't even THAT late & tbh I wouldn't have blamed her for doing a Joe no show Ali: I would've understood if she was upset when she wasn't coming Ali: I am when Joe doesn't, whatever Ali: but I think she was actually MORE upset that she did come in the end, and not just because she was messy, but because Ro thought she wouldn't Ali: I don't get it, they're complicated, always have been but ??? Tommy: she can't hold being a good sister over her, like you can't me being the most fabulous brother in existence 🏆 Tommy: the fuck ups are more fun to bring to a 🥊 Ali: I guess that's more likely than them being all 💕💞 Ali: but fucking hell, does it hurt to hope Tommy: it's hurting you 😿 Tommy: she'll be too hangry to hope Ali: I have no hope or agenda for your 🏆 or 👑 dear brother Ali: but seriously Ali: what does she want Tommy: like you said ???? Tommy: there's every chance I'm bringing too much McKenna magic to the motives & she don't wanna bear a grudge til the end of her days Ali: because it doesn't sound like her at all Ali: if you can't be honest in the DMs where can you, eh, to quote that romcom Ali: fucked if I know what to do about it right now though Ali: maybe I need to sleep off the festivities, or get something to eat Tommy: long as you're not so hysterical you run into the path of an oncoming car, to recall another faithful role of hers Ali: have you adapted that for the stage? Ali: get 5 of you to be the 🚗 Tommy: dibs 'cause I can't do the accent Tommy: not that loads of 'em posh kids can either Ali: they'll have spent enough time gentrifying the east end to have it down, offensively so but all adds to the hysterics Tommy: I'll pitch it then 💡 Tommy: go down better than her 🎤🎵 Ali: better than her when she got hit by the car, like Ali: give me credit or I'll turn up and make a SCENE Tommy: like I wouldn't be LIVING for that Tommy: if we are being honest in the DMS Ali: I'll work on my RICKKAAAAAAAAAAAY Ali: maybe can convince Ro to be Sharon Tommy: hang around your ma in law & you'll ace it in no time Ali: Ha Ali: she'd accept Peggy, not Pat Tommy: fair, Laoise's ma's the one more likely to express herself with big earrings & animal prints Tommy: but I don't know if Sam Mitchell is a favourable role for Carls, what did she ever even do? Ali: Are you trying to tell me it's NOT a look? 🤔 Ali: or that you rate Laoise's mum? Ali: The character, nothing, the OG actress lost her nose so we're all agreed that's a no Tommy: I'd rate seeing her da on the doorstep in nothing but a bow tie for how mortified she'd be when I uploaded it Tommy: Grant's also no, he knocked Martine on her arse way before that car Tommy: but if she's Phil, you're Sharon so that's a yeah from me, like Ali: Don't, her dad always gave me those vibes Ali: and you ain't actually on the street still to have to witness that 🤮 Ali: I don't know how she'll feel about going bald, I'll float it gently before getting out the clippers Tommy: Do Rock's while you're there, he looks feral Tommy: even that nonce wouldn't have him Ali: You know his ears would get chapped Ali: hair is essential or he'll fly away on the breeze Ali: and we'd all be devastated, obvs Tommy: don't start me thinking about that scene in Dumbo, cheers very much Tommy: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ali: Such a depressing film Ali: disney gives me bad vibes Tommy: the park is creepy & you won't catch me there Tommy: whether or not Walt was a Nazi it's still a nah from me Ali: Wee bit concerning that emotional manipulation and forced fun trumps facism/literal Nazis for you but we'll 🤐 Ali: ma is in enough of a mood and she'll only direct it at me so nah Tommy: well his racism is disputed depending whether you're in camp 😇 saint him 🙏 or camp cast him into the hellfire 👿 Tommy: the forced fun & emotional manipulation is just facts Ali: 👿 advocate Tommy: I'm gonna go to hell 🤞 he's an ally Ali: 😬 Ali: it's a punishment, not a holiday Tommy: it'll be a grand hol for my pores Tommy: love a sauna sesh Ali: that London smog is not it Ali: how black is your snot? Tommy: as Ro's soul 💀 Ali: Thomas Tommy: Alison Ali: 🛑 it Tommy: she'd 🖤 to hear it but FINE Ali: you're an enabler, it is known Ali: not the kind of encouragement I'm after tah Tommy: enabling you & your lady love to have a good time, yeah 🕺💃 Tommy: & I fully expected her to turn up with a pet raven is all I'm saying Ali: the best was made of it by all, despite it all Ali: even her, in her way Tommy: despite Kayne appearing 🤵🥀 & all in her case Ali: yeah Ali: ugh Ali: he's harmless enough, bless him Tommy: she'd beg to differ right now Tommy: you're gonna wanna hide the 🍄🍄💀 til she calms down Ali: You don't need to tell me Ali: I think he's just really oblivious Ali: like all lads Ali: it wasn't you know...assaulty Tommy: It's not his fault she's team true love's kiss & he AIN'T it Tommy: who could EVER measure up to the 💭💞 Ali: standards, cool Ali: unrealistic expectations, less so Ali: but I can't really advocate for reality at this point in the game Tommy: You don't need to tell me, sis Ali: you're team turn-a-stage-kiss-real, yeah Ali: it's more realistic than fairytales, anyway, look at strictly Tommy: I'm team when's my life been a shitty made for netflix flick never mind a 🐸🤴📖 Tommy: crushing realism ftw Ali: 💔 Ali: If you didn't have a tragic love-life to complain about, you'd be too insufferable 🤴💩 Tommy: comforting Tommy: I'd HATE to morph into Fraze of a few years back Ali: I'll let you know if you start getting freckles Tommy: I'd know if I woke up with those brows Tommy: nowhere to hide, like Ali: 👺 Tommy: 😂 Ali: What are you getting ma for her bday/have you got already (suckup) Tommy: I left it there if you wanna find & shake the 🎁 Ali: Wow, you really didn't wanna pay postage that bad huh Ali: I'll see if I can 🔮 Tommy: with what? I'm skint after buying hers & Ro's Tommy: & it'll be 🎅🎄🎁 before too long Ali: that's what people really mean when they say dance don't pay Ali: gifting an interpretive dance is nothing but pretentious and unwelcome Ali: I can bodge together however many crafts I need and save my dolla Tommy: been there, tried that one Tommy: so much for your so called genius Tommy: ain't even thought of earning any by busting out the 🎅🎄🎵 classics for a busking sesh, works with 🩰 too I'll have you know Ali: 'til you knock over an old lady and have to leg it, like Ali: and if you hadn't noticed, I've been a little busy making a replica Ro, tah Ali: my creative juices are juiced right now Tommy: I'll make it look like part of the show & have the punters eating out of my palm when I catch & twirl any 👵 before they touch ground Tommy: yeah well you've got time from now, fair game on all things yule from Nov 1st Ali: 👌👌 clearly the LDN ones are more receptive because they're vicious 'round here with their 👜s and I'm only trying to give them the tea they ordered Ali: if ANYONE should advocate for Christmas not dragging, like Tommy: it's Irish dancing or fuck all back there, 365 🌧 or ⛅ Tommy: little girls scam every bit of that trade Ali: ironic when it's catch these hands in every other aspect Ali: so you'll fit right in, eh Ali: feel traumatised yet? Tommy: I'll do my best, as ever Ali: 🤴 Ali: meanwhile ma will have to make do with whatever IOU present I can knock up Ali: maybe I'll babysit, that's never not gonna work Tommy: she was on about going out 🍽 wasn't she? Tommy: Carls will never not be down either Ali: get him to make her a cake Ali: sorted Ali: providing he washes his hands...a full hose down may be necessary actually Tommy: she's survived the 🧁 he brings back from school & we've all seen the state of him at day's end Ali: yeah, cheers for the immunity boost little 🦠 Ali: fair, I'm pretty sure we put some weird and wonderful things into our bakes at his age and no one died Ali: Laoise nearly but you know Tommy: close but no 🚬 Tommy: typical of that bitch Ali: sure a 🙏 was said to finish the job at mass Tommy: if you see her ma mascara running in an lbd, I demand to be the first to know Ali: I'll pap her in her time of distress, it's fine Ali: I can hide up trees for HOURS if needs must Tommy: I'm not above piggybacking on the 'tragedy' to get better grades or a hol Tommy: do your part, like Ali: she won't fall for 🍄 again Ali: her brother might if Ro puts 'em in her gob Tommy: 💞 Ali: more of a mood than without Ali: add a little danger Tommy: she'd appreciate the drama more than anything he could ever do Ali: 💔 Tommy: nah, we're not shipping that Tommy: not today Ali: You gotta make some bad decisions before you make the right ones Tommy: a bad decision was the colour of her 👗 Tommy: the last thing that girl needs is a boy right now Ali: Okay you can't come for anyone vis a vis colour, boy Ali: even if I still see it when I close my eyes after however many weeks sewing Ali: but you may have a point re. a boy Ali: just, some socialisation wouldn't hurt Ali: and as far as they go, he's harmless Tommy: 'Course I do, she can barely exist in front of us Tommy: if they went on a date, what's she gonna do, order a glass of water? Ali: like you haven't seen her fake eat a plate of food Ali: it's only noticeable to all us that she's not actually putting any in her mouth Tommy: 🔮✨ Tommy: if he's TRULY harmless he don't deserve to be harmed by her attitude Tommy: which anyone else not bound by family love & loyalty would call something loads harsher Ali: Don't Ali: I feel bad enough for Meena sometimes Tommy: @ Carly too & we all know it Ali: Yeah, Carly can handle it though, she's mostly unphased even if it is a total thing 🙄 Tommy: She's a 👸😇 I doubt Kayne is that pure of ❤️ or intentions tbh Tommy: & Meena can handle anything so Ali: he's deffo a virgin though Ali: which yes, makes for more desperation, but he can't be that forceful if he dunno what he wants, you know Ali: yeah but God knows why she wants to come 'round here and get more of it at times Tommy: No shit, Kit but everyone's seen a porno, it's not the 70s Tommy: dress for it all you like Tommy: maybe she wants to get out of her own 🏡 Ali: everyone also knows it's bullshit Ali: whatever else she's got that much about her Tommy: does he though? Tommy: all I'm saying Ali: either way, it isn't like she's going to have a miraculous change of heart Ali: we all saw how well it went Tommy: Yeah but what if it makes her heart set on finding someone else to play 🤴 Tommy: you'd know better than me what goes on in her head Ali: She's 15, I don't see how any of us can say or do anything to stop her if that's what she does want Tommy: 15 technically Tommy: 🤷 Ali: If we can't make her eat, you know Ali: what hope do we have for anything beyond that Tommy: 0 Tommy: & it's fucked Ali: Yep Ali: but it's not as if that bombshell has only just been dropped, I guess Ali: we'll carry on doing what we can Tommy: 🔮✨ Ali: ✌💚

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #267

“you can take my heart, you can take my breath - when you pry it from my cold, dead chest.”

When did you last talk to the last person you kissed? Last night. Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? Oh, I'm positively certain. What’s something you wish you could understand better? There are a great many things, but the first that came to mind are certain political/moral beliefs that I REALLY do want to understand, but I just don't. When was the last time you cried really, really hard? About a week back when I woke up shrieking and sobbing from a nightmare about Dad. Have you ever injected a drug? No. How many people have you liked in the past 5 months? I've been COnfuFSSeD!!!!!! Are you currently in a relationship? Nope. Probably for the better. Have you ever touched a dead body? Animals, yes. I may have at an open-casket wake, but idr. I was young. Ever played Grand Theft Auto? Nope, but oh man, good memories of those stupid games with my neighbor back when I was younger... He loved that game just to fuck around, and I liked watching. Then Jacob and Jason played it together at the apartment a lot, and those are warm memories, too. The last male you spoke to … is he attractive? That would be my 3-year-old nephew, so it'd be fucking weird to call him that. He's one handsome little boy, though. We all know he's gonna be a lady killer one day. If your ex called right now, would you answer? Yeah. Is there a dictionary on your bookshelf? I don't even have a bookshelf. Do you have any pet names for the person you love/like? Not anymore. Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? What is your honest opinion of that person? Mom. I love her to death. Who was the first person you dated? What is your honest opinion of that person? Aaron was my puppy-dog love, and I have not the slightest clue what he's up to now, but I have faith he's kept that good head of his. Ever fallen in the shower? I've passed out while getting *out* of it. I've slipped a number of times too, but not truly fallen. Do you think that things will get better? For me, I genuinely don't know. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes, by my cousins' friend's pool for a b-day party. It was cool. Their house was fuckin' wild. Movie theater inside and all. Is your dad bald? Just about. His head is just mostly shaved. Have you ever slept at a member of the opposite sex’s house? I mean yeah, all the time when we were together. Have you ever hooked up with someone to hurt someone else? Wow, no. I don't do "hook-ups" anyway. Do any of your relatives actually pinch your cheeks when they see you? No. Have you ever made a member of the opposite sex cry? Ugh, yeah. Do you know the last person you kissed's parents? Yes, I adore them. Do they like you? I think so. Name a couple things you can cook. ... Literally just scrambled eggs, if you mean something pretty much from scratch. Well, I could probably still do pasta if I read the box. Who was there to help you last time you were puking? My mom. I am absolutely terrified of vomiting, so she's kind enough to somehow manage to stand in there with me and talk to me. Are there any boxes of tissues in your room? What’s the design on it? No. Are you in high school? When are you done? No. I graduated in 2014. Are you embarrassed to say if you’re a virgin or not? More like confused and awkward, because I genuinely DON'T know for sure. Have you ever met someone you thought you’d be with forever? It was  "certainty" to me. That's partially why the breakup was so traumatizing. I MEAN IT when I say my brain couldn't even fathom the idea. It was "impossible." It simply couldn't happen. Then it did. ^Where are you two now? We haven't spoken in three years. Has your best friend ever been in love? Yes. What was the last magazine you bought? I've never been a magazine person. Will the last person you kissed get you anything for your next birthday? *shrugs* Do you think Family Guy is funny or just stupid? It can be both. Have you ever stayed with someone who treated you like shit just because you liked them so much? NO SIR-EE. You'd never see me stay with someone who treated me badly. Would you date someone all your friends and family hate? If I REALLY liked them, but if everyone hated that person, I would seriously consider why that is. Are you already looking forward to your wedding? Ha ha, not really, in most ways. Like, I hate getting all fancy and such. Have you ever spit on someone? No. Would you rather cuddle or make out? I MEAN, that depends on the mood??? Has your best friend ever been cheated on? No. Do you text with one hand or with both? Both. Are your parents left or right-handed? Right, to my knowledge? What was the last photo you took of? Something on FB I wanted to show to Sara. What topic always interests you and you will never tire of? C R Y P T I D Z Are you more or less tolerant than the average person? If you mean of varying beliefs, stuff like that, definitely more. If someone were to rate your life, what film certificate would it receive? PG-13 or R, idk. Actually, probably R for all they profanity lmaooo. Do you mind eating cold fries or are they disgusting? Ewww. What song makes you cry? What about it makes you cry? I physically cannot listen to "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin because of Jason joking at prom that the music sucked and we could dance to something like that, then once he took me home, I played it from my iPod over his car speakers and we danced in the headlights of his truck and it all felt like a fairy-tale. I'm emotional just typing it and it makes my stomach hurt, so moving on. If you could remake a movie, which movie would it be? Silent Hill: Revelation. As a fanatic over the series, I enjoyed it decently, but, objectively, it sucked and was ALL over the place. How about if you could rewrite a book's ending, which one? Why? I don't think I'd change any. Maybe a clearer answer to The Handmaid's Tale, but it's still g. What colour hair does your sibling(s) have? Brown, except Misty and Katie. Theirs is black. What gemstone would you like on your wedding ring? A dragon's breath opal or rose gold would be gorgeous. What are you looking forward to in the near future? We're throwing my little sister a surprise graduation party at our older sis's house. Thanks to the quarantine, her senior graduation isn't *actually* happening, so. How is life going for you, anyway? Be honest. IT KINDA S U CKS!!!!!! What time did you get changed this morning? I haven't changed out of my pj's. I almost never do (besides obviously after a shower) because I have nowhere to go, like ever. Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah. Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? Maybe as a kid? Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? I’ve never played it. If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Ew, Snickers. Of all your close friends, who have you known the longest? Sara. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel emotional? Hm. Maybe "Disguise" by Motionless In White. I wonder all the time if that's how Jason felt. Plus it's his favorite band, so that's a double whammy. When was the last time you took a selfie? Maybe about a month ago. As a child, did you ever have any scented gel pens or markers? Oh, I remember those! Yes. Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. Hell, most that I've tried. I hate strong stuff. Can you recall the last time you were on a dancefloor? When I was shooting someone's wedding last year. Do you own any color-changing mood jewellery? No, I have zero faith in those. What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? Ummm pizza rolls, I think. What was the last flavor of ice cream you had? Moose tracks. Do you have an online game that you play often? I play World of Warcraft daily, and I enjoy the Dragons of Atlantis app a few times a day. I was into it when it was still a game on an actual website, and I more recently downloaded it on my phone. What’s your favorite cookie? Soft chocolate chip... yum. How long would you have to date someone for before moving in together? I think this depends very much on the relationship, BUT LIKE, definitely not TOO quickly because you need to test the endurance of the relationship. I'd at the very least give it a year and seriously consider how healthy the relationship is. Moving in with each other shouldn't be an impulsive "this is working great omg I love him/her let's do this!!!!". What's your favorite kind of sushi? N/A How much was the last bill that you paid? I've never paid a bill... wow, that's sad. What was the cause of the worst low point you've had in your life? A very abrupt, traumatic breakup. What are some of your favorite types of cheeses? Really just American. When did you last feel like your privacy was invaded? I'm not sure. Do your parents volunteer anywhere? No. Do you own more than 50 books? I have my Warriors books stocked somewhere. Probably in the attic. Do you have a bachelor's degree? Bitch I wish. How old were you when you became financially independent from your parents? I'm 24 and still aren't independent. Does your kitchen have an island? No. Have you ever bought or sold something on Facebook Marketplace? No. Do you know anyone famous enough to have their own Wikipedia page? No. What was the last appointment you had? With my psychiatrist over the phone because yeah quarantine. Why did you last feel like crying? I woke up from yet another nightmare. I'm so, so tired of them. They make me dread sleep. Do you keep your friends secrets/private information to yourself? If it truly is private, yes, and secrets, absolutely. What negative quality do your friends bring up the most? "I... don’t think I’d like to be friends with people who have a habit of bringing up 'negative' things about me." <<<< This. Do you often "jump" to conclusions? ONLY ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What about the world do you wish you never found out? Christ, there's a lot. For some reason, the first thing that came to mind is the dogmeat trade in Korea. A girl in my first semester did a presentation on it, and just... wow. I never had the slightest clue it was a thing. Does the sight of blood make you feel sick? No. Does someone's background affect whether you'll be friends with them or not? Well, yeah. I'm not gonna be friends with a rapist or something. How about their religious background? Depends on if they push that shit on me or not, as well as things they believe. If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? NNNNNNNNNOPE. Do you drink tea and/or coffee every day? There are so many tea/coffee questions in surveys... and no. I don't like either. Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No. Do you wish that magic was real? Well, it depends on what the magic is. Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire is cooler. Do you rap along with rap songs? No. When happy, do you become more talkative? WAY MORE. Bowling or sailing? Why? Never sailed before, but bowling is fun. Especially with the lights off but all the neon and signs lit up. Do you prefer sitting in the front or back of a car? THE FRONT!!!!!!!!! Sitting shotgun and being able to control the music is everyTHIIIIIIIIIIIING. How about in a train? On the bus? I don't really have a preference here. Do you care about politics? I should... Are you offended easily by non-politically correct language? No, honestly. Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? Definitel too far. Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one(s)? No. Do you know anyone who is scared of you? No. I am so unintimidating. Do you like watermelon? Not really, no. Can you remember the month of your first kiss? April or May, p sure. What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? Uh. I dunno, man. Do you have a photo album? Mom has tons. What was your biggest fear as a child? Thunderstorms. I was fucking terrified. Can you remember all your past teachers' names? The majority. Do you find people taller than you intimidating? Generally tall men do, but not always. What's your favorite thing about your country? We have a lot of freedom. What's your least favourite thing about your country? We're greedy as fuck. What websites do you have bookmarked? I have a few on my personal laptop, which I don't have access to now so can't recall well. What TV show scared you as a kid? Courage the Cowardly Dog... though I watched it anyway lmao. What is one thing you regret having done or not done in your life? There's a lot. Let's not focus on it. Which parent do you identify with the most? I guess Mom. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? laskdjflawe admitting I RP is almost ENTIRELY IMPOSSIBLE to others, especially in-person. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Politics, 'cuz that's shit that seriously matters and affects the world. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? Probably an old friend who's an award-winning, quite successful photographer here in the state. She's shot fashion and model stuff professionally. She's absolutely gorgeous, does the coolest stuff... What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Good Lord, I know so many. "UR A WOMAN NOW" by Otep is one, then there's "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade, "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance... wow, I'm so surprised they're not just rushing to me. How about the sweetest song? Biiiiiih "Here For You" by Ozzy Osbourne laskdjfk;awe Do you know how to play dominoes? No. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Exotic/endangered animal meat. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? Uhhh I'm really not sure. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Shane Dawson is MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? Many things.

[swanqueeneverafter]

What Dreams May Come, Pt.27

Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. The Bottle Yard. (Queen Madelena and Gareth enter the tavern in the middle of a brawl. Upon spotting their king and queen however, the patrons settle themselves.) Bearded Man: "Crown!" Queen Madelena: “So, how does this whole bar-fight thing work?” Gareth: “Well, usually, we have a pint or two. And then I catch someone looking at me, I insult his mother, and then away we go.” Queen Madelena: “Oh, good. Let's start. (Looks around:) Oh. What about him? He gave you a momentary glance.” Gareth: “Mm. Did he? (Walks over and shoves the man:) Oi! You got a problem?” Bald Man: “Uh, none at all, uh, Your Highness.” Queen Madelena: “Well, you should. King Gareth just called your mother a two-bit hussy.” Bald Man: “Oh, uh, right you are, My King! My mother is a hussy. In fact, she's the biggest hussy in the land.” Bald Man’s Mother: “Indeed, I am, your grace!” Man 2: (Stands:) “My mother sells herself, as well, Your Majesty.” Man 3: “Mine too! Filthiest woman in the whole red-candle district.” Man 4: “My father's a hussy!” (Soon all the patrons are shouting indistinctly. Annoyed, Gareth turns and leaves, Madelena following him out of the tavern.) Enchanted Forest. Past. (David and his faithful dog, Wilby, are walking through the woods on their way to Longbourn.) David: (Notices something in the dog’s mouth:) “What did you find, Wilby? A cup. Why don't you let me hold your treasure? Come on. We got to get to Longbourn before dark. (The dog whimpers and returns the way it came:) Wilby! Wilby! (Follows:) Wilby! Wilby! (Barking:) Wilby!” (The dog leads him to a wagon, standing alone in the forest.) Peddler: (Stepping out from behind a tree:) “Can I help you?” David: (Turns to face him:) “Oh, sorry to intrude. My dog got something into his head.” Peddler: “Say, that's my cup you have there. Went over a bump a while back and dropped it. I thought it was lost. Not good for a traveling merchant to be so careless with his goods.” David: “Well, that explains it then. Wilby must've gotten the scent of it. My mother says he's a bloodhound in a sweater. (Hands over the cup:) Sorry it's a little battered.”

Peddler: “Oh, that's all right. Worth it to see such a fine animal like this. (Crouches down to pet the dog:) You are a fine little fella, aren't you? (Chuckles:) Made camp here last night so no brigands would find me.” David: “Brigands?” Peddler: (Stands:) “Oh, yes. I usually never travel this road alone. Say, which way are you headed?” David: “To Longbourn.” Peddler: “Fate has smiled upon our heads. That's exactly where I'm headed. Perhaps we can travel together? My name’s Gabriel.” David: “David. (They shake hands:) That sounds fine.” Gabriel: “Hop on up. I'm eager to get started for the day.” (While David heads to the front of the wagon, Gabriel opens the back, revealing several large chains, armour and axes.) Elsewhere In The Forest. (Blue, still in her human form, walks alongside Snow White.) Blue Fairy: “Do you really have to go, Princess Snow? The fairies can help you. Surely there is a way other than leaving your home.” Snow White: “Home is where your family is, and by now, that's pretty much just the woman who's trying to kill me.” Blue Fairy: “There's an old fairy saying. If someone believes in you, you are never alone. All the people love you.” Snow White: (Scoffs:) “Love.” Blue Fairy: “Love is the most powerful magic in the world.” Snow White: “Really? You know that brooch I sold? My father gave that to my mother because he loved her. She treasured it because it was from him. After she died, you know what he did? He gave it to Regina because he loved her, too. She treated it like trash. His love meant everything to my mother and nothing to my step-mother. See, love doesn't hold its value. The only thing that's maintained its value this entire time is the brooch, and I can't afford to invest in anything less. (Holds up a pouch:) This? This can buy me something that can actually change my life... a ticket out of here. (They hug:) Goodbye, Blue.” Blue Fairy: “Be careful. Danger can look harmless at first.” Henry's Dreamscape. (Ella, Richard & Roberta ride upon their one remaining horse when it stops walking.) Richard: “It stopped. This is what happened to the last one.” Ella: “Okay, okay. Let's just try giving it a kick. It worked before. One, two, three. Kick.” (They all attempt to prod the horse into walking, but the animal does not want to move:) Great.” Richard: “It's useless. (They all climb off the horse:) How could things have gone so bad so quickly? Those stupid bats ate all our food. We all got the same cold. Worst of all...” Ella: “Please don't say it again.” Richard: “We had to eat that family of hobbits.” Roberta: “Ugh. Richard, look, I'm sorry we had to eat hobbits. But we didn't have a choice. We're starving.”

Richard: (Notices a signpost up ahead:) “Hold on a minute. ‘Sir Arnold Galavant’s Swordsmanship School.’ Huh. This sounds promising.” Ella: “Uh... No. (They turn to face her:) We don’t have time to enroll you in some sword fighting class, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Richard: “Why ever not? Neither of you two have managed to train me.” Ella: “That’s because we’re always too busy fighting off bandits who want to rob and kill us while you scream like a little girl.” Richard: “That is not- (Glances at Roberta:) Okay, fine. But it’s a school. At the very least they’ll have food.” Roberta: (Pleading:) “We ate hobbits.” Ella: “No, we have to keep moving. Look, I'm sure we could find a warm bed and a nice meal in literally any other direction. (They turn to look at other signposts. One reads ‘Nothing for 20 miles’. Another reads ‘Nothing for 50 miles’ and the last simply says ‘This way to certain death’:) Oh, fiddlesticks.” The Land Without Magic. (Emma and Regina are driving back to Storybrooke.) Regina: "So, do you want to talk about what happened back there?" Emma: "What part in particular? The fact that Henry is now trapped in the dreamworld, or the part where we have to ask our friends and family to form an army to save him because we can't?" Regina: "Then you agree, we should stay behind?" Emma: "What? No, I just meant that-" Regina: "Because I think you should seriously consider sitting this one out." Emma: "Me? You're the one who's pregnant here." Regina: "Yes, I'm pregnant, not disabled." Emma: (Winces:) "Look, I'm sorry, but I know what you were gonna say. You think it's a bad idea for me to go through the curse again." Regina: "I saw how you were with Facilier." Emma: "Hey, I did fine with Facilier." Regina: "Only after you realised it wasn't him. I think that speaks volumes." Emma: "I'm not talking about this. I'm going, end of discussion." Regina: (Glares at her, coolly:) "Pull over at the next stop. (At Emma's look:) I have to pee. I’m pregnant, remember?" (Emma nods but says nothing, clearly aware that the discussion is far from over.)

Storybrooke. Outside Granny’s Diner. (David sits across from Jefferson, a destroyed hat between them.) David: “Can you get me through?” Jefferson: “No.” David: “Can you get them back? Can you get it to work?” Jefferson: (Laughs:) “If you only knew.” David: “Okay, I know you have others so use one of them and take me to wherever Henry and Hook are being held.” Jefferson: “They're in Morpheus’ realm, that's for sure. I just can't go there.” David: “Can’t or won’t?” Jefferson: “I already meddled in Morpheus’ affairs once and it cost me dearly. You can’t win in his world.” David: “So you won't help me?” Jefferson: “My days as a portal jumper are over. I tried to warn you people this would happen and now it has. It’s out of my hands.” David: (Grabbing Jefferson by the scarf:) “I’m not letting you off that easy. How about I just throw you in a cell until you agree to help me?” Jefferson: “Then all we'll do is both sit, thinking of those we’ve lost... Double the pain. Double the suffering.” (Jefferson tips over the table and flees. David chases after him, but is stopped by Lily.) Lily: “David, stop!” David: “Get out of my way!” Lily: “No, what is going on?” David: “He has the way!” Lily: “The way? The way to what?” David: “To saving Henry... (Realising:) And your father.” Lily: “My father? What’s this about?” David: (Sighs:) “Henry and Killian are trapped in the Dream World, and I’m trying to find a way to get to them.” Lily: “And you think the best way to do that is by threatening everyone?” David: “Jefferson’s been there before, he could easily take me there if he wanted to, but he refuses.” Lily: “You want to put your trust in the Mad Hatter’s hat? The rules of that thing change with the wind, it’s far too unstable.” David: “Then what’s your big idea, sheriff?” (Without waiting for an answer, David storms away. Watching him leave, Lily thinks for a moment before getting an idea.)

Henry's Dreamscape. (The trio arrive outside the swordsmanship school and Ella is still not convinced.) Ella: "Listen, we don't have time for this. I promise to train you myself while we continue our search for an army." Richard: "Unless you can train me while we eat, I'm not interested. (To Roberta:) So hungry." Roberta: "Yeah. (They walk through the gates together:) I wonder if dinner is steak?" Richard: "Hear, hear." (Up ahead, the sound of children can be heard.) Arnold: (Carrying several children:) "Ha ha ha! Ah, greetings! Come in. Boys, make way, make way, make way. Welcome, welcome. (Beckoning them inside:) Come, come, come.” Roberta: “You have a lovely home, sir.” Arnold: “Thank you.” Richard: “You have a lot of children. Your wife must be so sore.” (Roberta hits Richard in the chest chidingly.) Arnold: (Chuckles:) “They're not mine. I run a swordsmanship school for at-risk youth. Have been ever since I retired from the heroics game.” Ella: “A school for children?” Roberta: “Should’ve seen that coming.” (They enter the practice area and are swarmed by more boys.) Arnold: “Hey, boys! Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! One at a time.” The Land Without Magic. Roadside Cafe. (Returning from the bathroom together, Emma walks ahead as Regina takes a seat at a table.) Emma: “David said Jefferson won’t help us, so we’ve got- (Notices Regina isn’t behind her, turns and walks to the table:) What are you doing? We can get a drink to-go.” Regina: “I’m not going anywhere until we talk about this.” Emma: (Pulls out a chair and takes a seat:) “All right, let’s talk.” Regina: “Even if you were willing to relive the curse, you still wouldn’t be able to save Henry.” Emma: “We’ll figure something out. We always do.” Regina: “But that’s just it. Morpheus isn’t going to allow us to share a dreamscape. You’ll be reliving the Black Fairy’s curse and I’ll be god knows where.” Emma: “Then what, Regina? We just give in, let Morpheus rule over us all?” Regina: “At least there’s a chance we’ll still be together.” Emma: “Yeah and there was a chance Hades would’ve lived among us in peace, right up until he killed Robin Hood and almost killed you.”

Regina: “Fine, then what do you suggest? That we walk blindly into the Dream World and fight Morpheus on his terms?” Emma: “I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I do know that sitting here won’t accomplish anything. (Stands:) So, you coming?” (Regina watches Emma closely, troubled by what lies ahead for them, and for her wife especially.) Henry's Dreamscape. Swordsmanship School. (Richard stands in front of the other students, sword in hand.) Richard: “All right, boys, who's gonna train me? (The boys stand in a line and all draw their own swords:) Oh. (One boy steps forward, twirling his sword menacingly:) Oh! Watch the face! What's wrong with you? (They begin to train:) Good Lord.” (Watching from above are Ella and Roberta.) Ella: “You know, there was a time when I would've paid good money to see this.” Roberta: “It's nice that he's good with kids, though.” Richard: (From below:) “Why, you little... Come here, come here! Ow! Ow! Ow!” Roberta: “Ella, I'm starting to worry that Richard won't be ready when the real battle comes.” Ella: “Careful, Roberta. You're starting to sound like someone who cares for the guy.” Roberta: “In love with him? Me? (Scoffs:) What? I'm not in love with him.” Richard: (From below as the children attack him:) “What's wrong with you people?!” Roberta: “At all.”

Enchanted Forest. Past. (David and Gabriel continue travelling together through the woods.) David: “I didn't think we'd break so soon.” Gabriel: “Oh, my poor old horse needs a good many breaks. And I like to take a look at the local scenery. Don't think Wilby's complaining, either. (David Chuckles:) Drink up. No more breaks after this. We can make it all the way to Longbourn in one leg.” David: (Takes a drink:) “Thanks.” (David immediately feels woozy, falling to his knees.) Gabriel: “You all right, mate? Oh, mate, you shouldn't take drinks from strangers. (David collapses to the ground, panting. Wilby whimpers:) He's just sleeping. And I have a fun game for you and me to play in the meantime.” Elsewhere In The Forest. (Snow White is walking alone, when she hears a branch snap. Turning quickly, arming herself with a heavy rock, Snow is relieved to see Wilby walking towards her.) Snow White: (Crouching down to greet him:) “Oh, hey. Where did you come from?” (She gasps as an axe lands beside her.) Woodcutter: “I see you met my friend.” Snow White: “The Woodcutter. How did you find me?” Gabriel: (Removing his hood to reveal his face:) “You're nothing but a lost princess. And I came across an excellent sheep dog. They're great at finding strays. They just need to get a scent. (Wilby whimpers and runs off. Snow spits in the Woodcutter’s face, who laughs:) Oh, come on. I'm not gonna kill you. (Grabs her face:) I'm just gonna take you to the queen and get a reward. She'll kill you.”

[croissantbae]

Best of the Decade

This has been the most nonchalant 12/31 of my life.  Jimmy, Jason and I finished Bridesmaids (Jimmy fell asleep) and when it was over Jason asked “... should we go somewhere? should we do something” and I had no idea what he was talking about.  It took me a second to realize it was NYE.  Instead, I asked if we could each take some time to reflect on the decade.  Peloton (my lord and savior) has been having “Best of the Decade” rides and a lot of the instructors have been talking about how much they’ve grown over the decade and it’s inspired me to reflect not just on this year but everything since 2010.  I thought about one major event per year in the past decade:

2010:  Got Into and Started Law School

2011:  Spent My First Summer in New York (Getting Paid$$$$)

2012:  Moved to San Francisco (from Berkeley)

2013:  Graduated From Law School.  Moved to New York

2014:  Jason and I Officially Got Together

2015:  Jason and I Got Engaged and I Moved Back to LA

2016:  Jason and I Fought A Lot [this isn’t a major event but its all I can remember from this year]

2017:  Jason and I Got Married

2018:  Got Pregnant

2019:  Naya Was Born

Looking at the trajectory of the above, my life shifts from focusing on school/career, to relationship, to baby (which is a natural progression for many people’s lives I think).  I can’t believe that I’ve been in the legal world for a decade now.  I never wanted to be a lawyer and here I am 10 years later still in it. I made a $50 bet with one of my coworkers that I would never make partner  and somehow, by a loophole, I lost the bet. A lot of people talk about how 2020 is going to be their year (”gonna see clear in 2020″) but I hope 2020 is going to be my worst year.  I say that because I am planning on throwing myself into my work so I can get my bonus.  Then I want out.  I’ve said this literally every year since my second year and I could see myself getting stuck (the mostly likely candidate for keeping me in is getting enticed by another maternity leave) but my true and genuine hope is that after one horrendous year I will be free.  Free to enter into a boring, mediocre job that pays just ok (acc to big law’s standards).  Watching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel I feel small smokes of desire stoking in me, hoping to enjoy my job, to love what I do (and to look marvelous doing it) but I don’t want to go down that road. My last decade was spent languishing over my career - just really grappling with it. I’m over it now. I want this next decade to be about more than that.  As noted above, my life transitions into Naya. In this next decade of life I will be turning 40 (assuming I get to live that long).  I don’t want to keep wasting so much of my brain space on my job.  [Note: I really admire Christine Paik for taking the brave step to quit big law and taking this time to figure out her next steps but as she’s noted this year is for a “character change”, not just career. I just wanted to note this because I don’t want to imply that I don’t think it’s important to figure out what job or career one may want to have but (1) it was such a source of stress for me that I can’t and don’t want to do it anymore and (2) I think a whole character change is so much of a better way to think about it. Career is only one aspect of who we are. It’s not always about what we do.]

I used to care a lot about experiencing new things.  Everything had to be new.  If I went to a restaurant, I only ordered something I hadn’t tried before.  I didn’t even like going to the same restaurant.  I didn’t like re-watching movies, or shows.  To me, if it wasn’t new it seemed like a waste of time (I could not understand people who watched re-runs of Friends... ie. Hera).  There was so much to see and experience.  But over time, I realized there really is nothing new under the sun (perhaps a plague of globalization).  The jig was up.  But parenthood has brought back true newness in my life.  In pregnancy, everything was new. I have one million videos of Naya kicking in my stomach because it was so fascinating.  I pored over articles and posts about child rearing and a whole new world of information was exposed to me. Giving birth was one hell of a new experience.  Breastfeeding was new.  Bathing a child was new.  You get the picture.  I got to experience new things in taking care of her but I also got to see the world in a new way (again) by looking at things from her perspective.  The other day, we went to the doctor’s office and when Naya was getting weighed, instead of laying her down on the scale, I sat her upright and she teetered a little bit, struggling to balance.  I could see the fear in her eyes.  She cried out, alarmed, unsure of what her body was doing.  And I got to feel, through her expression, what it feels like to acknowledge being alone, sitting on your own, for the first time (she’s sat up on her own before, but this appeared to be the first time she knew what she was doing).  Another day Jason was using a power drill to put a curtain up and when I took her closer to see what her dad was doing she screamed at the noise.  She seemed scared by it but also like she was yelling at it to stop.  She has no idea what the noise is from, she just knows that its loud and scary.  She has to learn everything about everything from scratch and witnessing that has been a wonderfully new experience for me.  Naya’s name actually means “new” in Hebrew. She is our firstborn and through her there will only be firsts - first time experiencing terrible twos, first time raising a teenager, first time sending a kid to college, etc.  And that’s how I want the decade to go.  But this first year, 2020, is going to be a horrible one.  It’s not a great way to kick off a decade but it’s worth it, because of what I hope will come afterward.  

This maternity leave has truly been the best vacation of my life.  I don’t know if its amnesia but I don’t think I’ve felt this good about a break EVER.  I think that’s the benefit of big law.  It makes you feel so down sometimes that the good times feel EXTREMELY good in comparison.  I love living with my mom.  A few weeks ago I was upstairs  on my computer and Jason was away in San Diego. I thought my mom had long fallen asleep but she came out and started cooking, eating leftovers while it was still heating on the stove.  She got hungry and needed a snack so I joined her and we just stood there, next to the stove, talking while eating bomb ass leftover Korean food.  I’ve loved seeing her laugh hysterically at the tiny little things Naya does. She calls Naya beautiful and princess and it always surprises me because my mom is just not a tender person like that.  She usually calls babies ugly.  I’m so happy that my brother is back from New York.  I’ve always had this image of my relationship with Jimmy.  That we were so close but in reality we’ve drifted since I’ve been in LA and he was in NY.  I mean we’re siblings so we’ll always be close but now we can be a real family again in our adult lives.  I always remember something my cousin posted about her college friends.  She said that they had become “update friends” where you talk to each other just to update each other on the latest happenings but that she missed living together, doing nothing together, and just existing together.  That’s what I look forward to with my brother.  Not having to update each other on anything but just being around each other, raising our kids together, etc.  

Now, on to Jason (I have to say nice things about him because he’s going to read this post.  Jk.  But he is going to read it).  Other than Naya, marrying Jason has been the best thing to happen to me (and I mean it) from the past decade.  I’ve said this before but he’s a better person than I realized when we were friends and when we were dating.  I can’t believe how lucky I am that it worked out that way. There are so many losers out there, both in hiding and in the open, but I found a guy that was hiding how great he was!  He just took his good heart and wrapped it up in a soft lanky body with an awkward personality (jk Jason you’re not awkward anymore).  He’s been such an amazing dad and partner. I’m curious to see how he’ll change in the next decade -- will he bald (its not just me turning 40...)?  will he get fat?  will he become a director at Kaiser?  how will he father our kids once they can talk and they actually have personalities?  will he do social work? One thing I do hope, however, is that he’ll always be a romantic and we’ll always be happily married.  We’re still kind of newlyweds.  We’ve only been married for 2.75 years so we’re still young in our marriage but I want us to continue to have our pillow talks, to explore farmers markets and restaurants and new places together (with or without kids).  I hope we can retire like we’re always dreaming of.  I hope we can build a garden and cook using the fresh veggies and herbs we grow from it.  I hope we make it to the end together... somehow with neither of us having to die before the other.  

And now onwards to the future.  Resolutions!  I don’t have many this year.  I pretty much failed all my resolutions from last year (walk 10k steps a day, finish a first draft of my book, finish my children’s book -- all failed).  But here are the few I’d like to attempt this year:

1.  Peloton:  Ride 2-3x a week.  Jess King and Cody Rigsby both talked about how they made a change in their lives by deciding to say “yes” to new opps.  I want to have a bit of that mentality this upcoming year given the fact that I’ll be making a transition shortly afterwards.  Good to keep my heart open to new opps (even if its not the one that I think I want).  I know this is going to sound like I’ve seriously drunk the Kool-Aid but at this point I don’t even ride the Peloton to lose weight.  It’s because I physically and mentally feel better after riding. Also I (apparently) get life lessons too! I just got my century shirt (HEHE).  

2.  Writing:  write at least 10 minutes a day.  That way I will have written 1 hour a week. I’m sure I’ll fail on some days but “shoot for the moon and at least you’ll land amongst the stars” (Jason thought the saying was the opposite  (shoot for the stars...) because stars are farther away than the moon).  

3.  Money:  Save 60% (collectively).  I dream of buying a gorgeous 3,000 sq foot home either in Glendale or Los Feliz but realistically we can’t make that happen right now and I want to squirrel away as much money as we can while we can. For Naya’s future, for our future.  I need to stop buying stupid useless stuff from Amazon (and I hate myself every time I do because I know Bezos/Amazon is so evil).  My mom is so excessive, it really is a problem -- we’re constantly throwing away food because its gone to waste.  I don’t want to be like that.  I don’t want Naya to think its okay to be so excessive either. 

4.  Church: I would like to try going to church again.  My goal is to check out a few churches. We don’t have to commit to any, I just want to see a few. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a service I don’t know what it’s like anymore. 

[chimericarchitect]

aestheticVirtuoso 4

-- aestheticVirtuoso [AV] began trolling talentedSalad [TS] at 20:37 --

[08:37] AV: Y+u're g4y.

[08:38] TS: You're not wrong, but why are you bringing this up right now?

[08:39] AV: N+ re4l re4s+n. Just felt like ch4tting.

[08:39] TS: Seems legit; I'd wanna talk to me too if I was lame.

[08:39] TS: You must be very bored.

[08:39] AV: But y+u 4re l4me.

[08:40] TS: Another harsh truth dropped by the master of disaster.

[08:40] AV: +h shit, here c+mes D4t B+i.

[08:41] TS: What, is it Teivel?

[08:42] AV: dfjgkfej/ghkbre hjmu+gsw4 f le /ft4piekj

[08:42] AV: 4dxscghnkl,;gr3ql+5

[08:42] TS: Oh wait. That's a meme.

[08:42] TS: Good job with the mashing, buddy

[08:42] TS: It makes more sense than your reference

[08:42] AV: My lusus is 4 dick s+metimes.

[08:43] TS: Oh shit. REAL TALK.

[08:43] TS: Whassup?

[08:43] TS: Wait.

[08:43] TS: The mashing?

[08:43] AV: He keeps pecking me. Sl4ms his he4d +n the d4mn huskt+p. I h4d t+ sh++ him 4w4y.

[08:44] TS: Holy fuck. Your lusus is such a bird brain

[08:44] TS: badum tsh!

[08:44] AV: W+w. g++d +ne.

[08:44] AV: Must h4<e t4ken y+u sweeps.

[08:45] TS: Haha. So "Dat Boi" was your lusus?

[08:45] TS: comin' to peck your shit

[08:45] AV: B4sic4lly.

[08:45] TS: Top quality lusus you have there

[08:45] TS: How much trouble is he?

[08:46] AV: He's pretty nice m+st +f the time, but he c4n get s+ s4ssy s+metimes.

[08:46] TS: Sassy?

[08:46] TS: Example required.

[08:47] AV: I d+n't kn+w, m4ybe sl4mming his d4mn he4d +n my fre4king huskt+p f+r n+ re4s+n +ther th4n t+ be 4 dick 4nd get 4ttenti+n.

[08:47] TS: Aw, he's lonely.

[08:47] TS: But here you are

[08:47] TS: also lonely

[08:47] TS: harassing losers on the internet

[08:48] TS: instead of hangin out with bird dad

[08:48] TS: Was he doing it to be a dick?

[08:48] AV: I think he gets je4l+us. He w4nts 4ll +f the 4ttenti+n.

[08:48] TS: Oh-ho, a Fussy Boi

[08:49] TS: You should post a pic of him sometime.

[08:49] AV: His fe4thers 4re 4ll ruffled.

[08:49] TS: Does he make a mess?

[08:50] AV: N+t re4lly. Whene<er he thr+ws 4 fit, he d+es s+ by pecking my d4mn br4ins +ut. +ne d4y I w+n't e<en h4<e 4ny.

[08:50] TS: Hm. One day, huh.

[08:51] TS: Let him send me a message

[08:51] TS: It's funny

[08:51] AV: Fine. I'm h4nding the huskt+p t+ him.

[08:51] TS: Holy shit

[08:51] TS: I'm ready

[08:51] AV: d/kjg4X C<

[08:51] AV: UZZHG+L=-P05

[08:51] AV: qwtijm,,mp+k+i+ipuigf

[08:52] AV: hytht<<fkyhuibgyf7uut<hty<yukilgtftyg

[08:52] AV: +h shh+it5hrtgn dw

[08:52] AV: shity

[08:52] TS: I <3 u bird dad

[08:52] TS: lol "shity"

[08:52] AV: I think he 4te 4 key

[08:52] AV: fucj

[08:52] AV: fucj

[08:52] AV: kk

[08:52] TS: I am laughing SO HARD right now

[08:52] TS: asdfg

[08:52] AV: Wh4t 4n 4ssh+le

[08:53] TS: You can get a new key

[08:53] TS: Besides

[08:53] TS: I told you too give him the husktop

[08:53] AV: I h4d t+ y4nk it b4ck fr+m him. He w4s re4lly g+ing 4t it.

[08:53] TS: You got the key back?? Impressive!

[08:54] AV: N+, the huskt+p. I'm missing my G key.

[08:55] TS: Guess you'll just have to sing a different note from now on

[08:55] TS: Try A flat

[08:55] AV: It's g+ne f+r g++d

[08:55] AV: It's s+ h4rd t+ type gs n+w

[08:55] TS: He swallowed it?

[08:55] AV: He r4n +ff.

[08:56] AV: I think he's t4kin it t+ his nest +r s+me shit.

[08:56] TS: Is he gonna hide it or eat it? I'm confused.

[08:56] AV: Pr+b4bly just hide it.

[08:56] TS: And you'll never find it

[08:56] TS: never

[08:57] AV: N+pe. I 4in't re4chin int+ th4t d4mn nest.

[08:57] AV: He'd kill me.

[08:57] TS: Reeeeeally?

[08:57] TS: You've tried before then

[08:57] AV: My p++r he4d c4n't t4ke 4nym+re peckin.

[08:58] TS: Going bald, huh

[08:58] AV: I miht h4<e 4 c+ncusi+n.

[08:58] TS: This is you

[08:58] TS: https://akibento-leadnationmedia.netdna-ssl.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/iIpmndr.jpg

[08:59] AV: Fuck +ff.

[08:59] AV: My h4ir is f4b.

[09:00] TS: Fuck off? It IS fab. It IS you tho, right? Bald, vacant stare... What'd I get wrong?

[09:01] AV: Wh4t 4n 4ssh+le.

[09:01] TS: Wait, I know

[09:01] TS: You like bananas, right?

[09:01] TS: here

[09:01] AV: N+.

[09:01] TS: fixed it

[09:01] AV: D+n't.

[09:01] TS: http://s1.narvii.com/image/mzhqe6ncv7hmtvxmqcxutwrbnnwywqrx_hq.jpg

[09:02] AV: I h+pe y+u fuckin die.

[09:02] TS: Someday, my friend

[09:02] TS: someday

[09:02] AV: F+r 4ll +f +ur s4kes, I h+pe it's s+med4y s++n.

[09:03] TS: If I take up Teivel's offer to come over, it'll probably be soon

[09:04] AV: Gr+ss.

[09:04] TS: He's aslked you over too, right?

[09:04] AV: I d+n't need t+ he4r 4b+ut th4t shit.

[09:04] TS: Dude

[09:04] TS: no

[09:04] TS: I meant he was gonna kill me on some shitty traps or something

[09:05] AV: He s4id he h4s s+me kind +f fuckin sex dune+n/res+rt

[09:05] TS: WTF

[09:05] TS: No

[09:05] TS: His hive is just a shitscape of ghey boobytraps and corpses

[09:05] TS: Unless he's into THAT

[09:05] AV: 4nd his shit lusus

[09:06] TS: Oh yeh

[09:06] TS: double ew

[09:06] AV: Th4t he s4id he's suck the bulge +f

[09:06] TS: A chameleon's bulge?

[09:06] AV: He's fuckin r+ss

[09:06] AV: Ye4h

[09:06] AV: My p++r key

[09:07] TS: That will not ever be not funny

[09:07] AV: I w+uld if I 4sk nicely en+uh he'll i<e it b4ck

[09:08] TS: Really? Huh.

[09:08] TS: Well, for now

[09:08] TS: http://s.twistynoodle.com/img/r/fill-in-the-missing-letter-g/fill-in-the-missing-letter-g-2/fill-in-the-missing-letter-g-2_coloring_page.png?ctok=20151006065412

[09:08] TS: No.3 is funny

[09:08] TS: Teivel would like it

[09:09] AV: http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/angry-peacock-royalty-free-image/94194414?esource=SEO_GIS_CDN_Redirect

[09:09] AV: This is wh4t this 4ssh+le l++ks like.

[09:09] TS: Your lusus is funny

[09:09] TS: "AAAAAAAAAAAA"

[09:09] TS: hehheh

[09:10] AV: http://images.china.cn/attachement/jpg/site1007/20110505/000cf1a48b7f0f2c57691e.jpg

[09:10] AV: This is wh4t he sh+uld l++k like.

[09:10] TS: Brutal

[09:11] TS: you want some freaky corpse party like Teivel

[09:11] AV: Hell n+.

[09:12] AV: http://hronika.info/uploads/posts/2016-07/1467640837_devochka.jpg

[09:12] AV: Me runnin fr+m my lusus

[09:12] TS: That's some quality garbage, my dude. ;)

[09:13] TS: How big is your lusus tho?

[09:13] AV: Bigeer th4n me.

[09:13] AV: W+w.

[09:13] AV: My spellin

[09:13] TS: Pretty ghey

[09:14] TS: Are you super small or what

[09:14] AV: N+t 4s sm4ll 4s y+ur bule

[09:15] TS: Prol'ly

[09:15] TS: But seriously

[09:15] TS: are you a shota

[09:15] TS: loli boi

[09:15] AV: Wh4t the fuck?

[09:15] TS: Are you a tiny boi

[09:16] TS: how tall are you

[09:16] AV: N+ne +f y+u're buisness.

[09:17] TS: Fair

[09:17] TS: snooty

[09:17] TS: but fair

[09:18] TS: here.

[09:18] TS: for you

[09:18] TS: https://sanesspsuede.tumblr.com/image/165713367880

[09:18] TS: perhaps there is peace now

[09:18] AV: FUCKKKKK<4L.

[09:18] AV: 4ss

[09:18] TS: You don't like it? It even has your name on it!

[09:18] AV: +h shit

[09:19] TS: what

[09:19] AV: My lusus is c+min b4ck

[09:19] AV: I c4n't let him et 4n+ther key

[09:19] TS: he's gonna No.3 your husktop

[09:19] AV: jkmm ,mk.ledl.,edkl,

[09:20] AV: N++

[09:20] TS: which one

[09:20] AV: N+ne, yet. I just left.

[09:21] AV: C4n't e<en sit in my +wn respitebl+ck.

[09:21] TS: Where will you hide?

[09:21] AV: M4ybe the f++dbl+ck.

[09:21] TS: Your lusus won't follow you?

[09:21] AV: H+pefully n+t?

[09:22] TS: https://media1.giphy.com/media/l4FsL2O7y1xgYCHNC/200_s.gif

[09:22] AV: W+w, th4nks.

[09:22] TS: I hope it helped

[09:23] TS: a blessing to keep the lusus away

[09:23] TS: I'm good with vegetables because of my green thumb so

[09:23] AV: M4ybe. I think he w4nts his fe4thers brushed +r s+methin.

[09:23] TS: You can brush feathers?

[09:24] TS: BRB trouble

[09:24] AV: +k4y.

[09:26] AV: https://media.giphy.com/media/iblnwU5gqzM1W/giphy.gif

-- talentedSalad [TS] is now an idle chum! --

[09:34] TS: I',m back

[09:34] AV: Hey.

[09:34] TS: nice gif

[09:35] AV: S+, I s4y brushin, but I just me4n gr++min. He's re4l big +n it.

[09:35] TS: What does grooming entail?

[09:37] AV: S+rt +f like nicer pecking.

[09:37] TS: Wait

[09:37] TS: He wants to groom YOU?

[09:37] AV: I n+rm4lly just w4sh him up with 4 wipin cl+th.

[09:37] AV: He's weird.

[09:38] TS: And the pecking... GROOMING... Does that DO anything?

[09:39] TS: Besides annoy you

[09:39] AV: N+t re4lly. He kind +f just pecks my h4ir while I w4sh him.

[09:40] TS: That's actually kind of cute

[09:40] AV: I uess. But he's re4l pushy +f it.

[09:42] TS: You need to replace that g

[09:42] AV: Wish he w+uld 4sk nicer.

[09:42] AV: 4nd ye4h.

[09:43] TS: I mean yeah, but it's not the worst right? Imagine if your lusus was a chameleon that wanted you to suck its genitals

[09:43] TS: bit of perspective

[09:45] AV: Ye4h, I kn+w. I 4ctu4lly like my lusus. It's just th4t he c4n be rude 4t times.

[09:45] AV: He's pretty gre4t.

[09:45] TS: ^_^

[09:45] TS: Cute

[09:45] TS: Tell him you love him

[09:46] AV: But I d+n't w4nn4 tell him bec4use he 4lre4dy h4s 4 bi eg+.

[09:46] TS: Will it really make things worse?

[09:47] TS: It might make him back off

[09:47] AV: He's 4lredy re4lly fl4shy

[09:47] TS: what if you embarrass him

[09:47] TS: that would be funny

[09:47] AV: I d+n't think he'd let me li<e it d+wn.

[09:47] TS: No?

[09:47] AV: I'm n+t sure.

[09:48] TS: How would he hold it over you?

[09:48] AV: He w+uldn't le4<e me 4l+ne. e<er.

[09:48] TS: Ohhhh

[09:48] TS: Yeah, I could see that

[09:48] AV: He'd be e<en m+re clingy.

[09:48] TS: Bummer

[09:49] TS: Have you EVER told him that you love him?

[09:49] AV: Ye4h, 4 few times. He w+uld 4lw4ys 4lm+st suff+c4te me in 4 fe4thery embr4ce.

[09:50] TS: Ohhhhh

[09:50] TS: <3

[09:50] TS: Cute bird dad is cute

[09:51] AV: He is, but g+ds.

[09:53] AV: Well, I d+n't think i c4n st4ll much l+ner. I +tt4 g+ r++m him.

[09:55] TS: Good luck, my dude

[09:55] TS: Does that mean you gotta go?

[09:55] AV: Ye4h, f+r n+w. I'll t4lk t+ y+u l4ter, br+.

[09:55] TS: Okay. Later

[09:56] AV: Bye.

-- aestheticVirtuoso [AV] gave up trolling talentedSalad [TS] at 21:56 --

-- aestheticVirtuoso [AV] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

@aesthetic-virtuoso

[saranel]

Tagging @mags-duranb, who asked (thank you for the interest btw, it was super sweet. Also, I love your art <3333) :)  I was gonna make a post anyway, but I wanted it to be a timeline photoset hence why I’m not replying directly.

I thought it was about time I gave you guys a nice long update on the purrito, since we have now officially reached 2 months of age as of yesterday!

To answer the requester’s question, SHE is doing just fine xD  That’s right, when we visited the vet about a week ago for the second round of shots, we got visible proof (or rather lack thereof) that we have a little girl in our hands.  This was only a couple of days before I made an insta post announcing the official name, because of course it was. Way to embarass me, kiddo.

So I’d like to introduce you all to Buffy, because hello, so dang pretty, look at that last pic that was taken only yesterday, and she’s also pretty fearless and resourceful, though not necessarily highly intelligent xD  Not a vampire slayer, but an ankle slayer for sure.  I generally post updates on her every couple of days on instagram.

Oh, and, just as a final note on the whole name thing, yes, we still call her purrito from time to time, as well as a thousand other nicknames ;) 

So! On to the update (and an extra... suprise?¿¿??) below the cut:

Buffy’s issues with food have gotten a lot better.  She used to be vicious about meals, meowing and pleading hours before her feeding time.  At first we thought we were perhaps feeding her too little, so we followed the general advice everyone gives re: how much to feed kittens, which is to say we just let her eat her fill.  She did not stop until her belly was so distended I had to physically drag her bowl away.  So we decided to slowly increase her intake whenever we saw she started to get skinny.  Which, given her Longcat status, was so. damn. OFTEN.  Seriously, if she looks malnourished in some pics, I assure you she’s not.  She just grows and grows like a damn weed.

Lately, however, since her weight has reached a healthy plateau, she’s gotten much better about food.  No screaming, no scratching, and she doesn’t really complain before feeding time anymore.  She still follows us whenever we dare visit the kitchen, but hey, it could be worse xD

Something I’ve never mentioned here is that when we first found her, her whiskers were very short and stubby, which we originally attributed to her being very young.  But eventually, we noticed that not only were her brow whiskers much longer, there was a lone whisker next to the stubby ones that was regular-sized, and the shorter ones looked almost... manually cut, if that wakes sense.  A bit of research led us to find out that sometimes, littermates may do this to a runt (bite them off) when they’re competing for mom’s milk, which... not only makes my heart ache for our little buddy, it starts to put her whole attitude toward food into perspective.

Long story short, we were prepared for the possibility that she may forever have issues with food, but she’s been improving constantly.

Other than the food issue, Buffy has grown into a happy, healthy kitty :) She’s up to date on her shots, and we took her to the vet only last week where we got nothing but good news.  

She’s very attached to us, especially me since I work from home and basically see her all day, and though she doesn’t complain and yowl when she’s left alone, she is super cuddly when we return home.  

Given her age, she’s incredibly playful to the point that we get more exhausted playing with her than she does xD She likes climbing all over the place and exploring everything within reach, always looking for new ‘lairs’ and stuffing her butt into every nook and cranny, she loves to chew on cables (which has led us to do some highly creative concealing) and often engages in what we call ‘Crab Dancing’ when she gets excited/territorial during playtime:

( I *****MAY***** have edited this.  Slightly.  For my own amusement.  It’s kinda soporific if you stare at it for too long)

We were glad to see she takes to new (human) acquaintances very well, and she hasn’t (yet) started wreaking havoc in our apartment.  She, has, however,  gotten very bitey during playtime, and it’s ALWAYS playtime, so we’re trying to encourage her to bite on toys instead of our fingers: it’s a sloooooooooow process.  There’s also the possibility that she’s teething a bit early so she’s just constantly looking for relief.  We’ve bought her a few special chew toys that should arrive shortly, and hopefully they’ll help.  Even if it’s still early for her, hey, new toys, amirite? xD

Still, she never lashes out to us in anger/anxiety, not even when we gave her a bath where she was visibly distressed (yes, I know it’s not necessary for cats, but we’d never cleaned her with anything but pet wipes since we rescued her; she needed at least one) and yet she never tried to scratch or bite us.  TL;DR she’s mischievous, but not aggressive outside of playtime.

She’s super long for her age and will most likely be a pretty long kitty when she reaches maturity.  Seriously, y’all, Longcat 2.0:

( USB stick for size comparison, lol )

I’m still bummed my theory that she was part Van doesn’t seem to be true (in my defense, she has something very similar to the characteristic Van spot on her nape!), but hey, less shedding xD She also has a permanent bald spot on her spine now (as we knew she would), where the vet had given her that shot that saved her life back when she got sick.

She’s a sweet little doofus, who thinks she’s really a parrot and likes to perch on our shoulder, and meows the whole time I’m in the kitchen because how dare someone in this household eat when she’s not eating too, and when I ignore her grey-green supplicating eyes she just curls up over my foot while I wash the dishes, and she constantly gets tangled up in our legs and waits for us behind closed doors, and she’s a friggin’ Duracell battery who does.not.tire, and she  tosses half the litter out when she digs, and she loves to take naps with us cuddled right over our chests so our heartbeat can lull her to sleep, and we love her.

Here’s to the next two months :)

Size comparison below, using my hand in both pics.  Then and now :)

Addendum:

Edit: You can keep on reading, but the story has a sad ending, unfortunately :(  

The above was the post I had prepared and was going to post yesterday on Buffy’s 2 month ‘birthday,’ so I’ve left it intact.  However, I would be remiss if I didn’t add this latest development:

For a while now, we’ve been discussing how to deal with Buffy’s inexhaustible energy levels, because we do have other responsibilities, all of whom also require a good night’s sleep, which as you may imagine, has been a bit rare lately.  There’s this saying that the only one who can keep up with a kitten is another kitten, but we were very reluctant to adopt another one, since we’re currently dealing with an imminent move and we weren’t sure if we could even afford it.

Well...................

I found and rescued Buffy.  My partner found and rescued this little guy yesterday:

Five things here:

1) NO THIS WAS NOT PLANNED THIS IS SO BEYOND UNPLANNED I’M WFSJKLSDFJSKDHFSDKJ

2) MY PARTNER DIDN’T EVEN FIND HIM IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD HE WAS VISITING HIS MOM ASJKFDHLSADGHFDDFAS

3) WE SERIOUSLY DON’T KNOW IF WE’RE KEEPING HIM.  SERIOUSLY.L

4) YEAH I KNOW YOU CAN’T REALLY SEE MUCH LMAO EVEN HIS WHISKERS ARE BLACK JFC BUT I DIDN’T WANNA SCARE HIM SO I DIDN’T USE FLASH

5) 31 FUCKIN YEARS WITH NO KITTENS AND NOW TWQO, TWO KITTENS WTFFFFFFFF ITS RAINING KITTENS PRAISE BE TO BASTET i guess?? wtffffffffff

*breathes into a paper bag*

I’m going to be even more reluctant to make any grand claims than I was when we found Buffy, because this little dude (this one is a dude, indeed) is in pretty bad shape.  Though she’d been abandoned, Buffy was very clean and hale when we found her, even if she was a bit small and underfed.  

This one though... poor little soot sprite is all skin and bones, he was flea-ridden until we took him to the vet, he’s filthy, he’s terrified and has a bum leg from some sort of accident.  We didn’t even have a plan yesterday when my partner found him, but we figured since we had a lot of leftover milk powder and kitten pate from Buffy, we might as well feed up this little orphan. 

It took some coaxing with a syringe, but he got a bit of milk down which got his appetite going and we were able to feed him some pate.  He actually ate a fair bit, which is encouraging.  We know for a fact he was abandoned by his mom, btw, she’s still roaming around the neighborhood but refusing to tend to him since he’s already older than 4 weeks (maybe 1,5 month old max).  Just two weeks younger than Buffy.  After he got some food down, we took him to our vet, who was reserved but cautiously optimistic even for the leg.  He made us no promises, of course, and he advised we prepare ourselves for the possibility that he might not make it.

We’ve now had him for just under a day and he’s been improving.  He was very scared at first, hissy when I went near him, and the first time I fed him at home, the new environment had stressed him out to the point that I had to use a syringe again to get him to eat.  And yeah, we’ve had to keep him isolated ofc to protect Buffy (and him, omg, she’s literally twice his size in weight, no exaggeration, and most likely a social dunce with other kittes, she would destroy him).  I’ll be able to give him a bath tomorrow afternoon after the 48hr clock on the flea medicine runs out, which is yet another reason we had to isolate him.  Today, he’s been getting less and less reserved around me and he hasn’t needed to be force fed once, he’s been downing pate like no-one’s business.  I weighed him earlier and found he’d gained about 40-50 grams, a number I offer cautiously as both weighings at the vet and today aren’t entirely accurate, because squirmy kitty.  Still, he’s gained weight, even if only a little.   

Buffy can tell something’s up, since we basically had to move her litterbox and feeding area and haven’t let her in that room since.  It’s been... an adjustment xD But she bounces back admirably fast, she didn’t even bat an eyelash at the change; she’s just curious to discover what we’re hiding from her, obviously.  She’s probably heard him meowing, too.

We honestly have no clue what we’ll do with him.  Taking it one day at a time.  He might not make it at all, and even if he does, he may never get along with Buffy, in which case we’ll have to give him away for both their sakes.  I’m not gonna lie, money is a concern.  Research tells me at their age and beyond the cost isn’t prohibiting, not even double that of a single cat.  So if he doesn’t require any costly meds, we can afford him, especially since Buffy can now eat dry food (and so will he in a couple of weeks).  This, again, is all hinging on a) him not having any serious, contagious illnesses, and b) him and Buffy getting along.  In the long run, we know it would be way better for Buffy to have a companion to play and cuddle with, but we have to be realistic and prepare for the worst for now.

Soot sprite is a little cutie, he has the softest, most plaintive meow and there’s even hope for his little leg down the road (though honestly, that’s the last thing that concerns us; even in his current state, he’s perfectly mobile).  His eyes, too, should get better with time if he grows healthier. 

SO WE’LL SEE.  RN I am beyond stressed and reserved, but also kinda hopeful. *sigh*  

[andyfrills]

Andy’s FanFic Log 21/03/2017

I’ve been a bit out of it this week, so it was a bit of a mission to get up to a consistent number for this log. And I’ve also been replaying some Ace Attorney games (5 & 6 - 6 being my fave), so that’s taken some time off of reading. But I somehow managed it!

Fic count: 23 Fandoms this Log: Voltron, Nancy Drew, Ace Attorney, Yuri!!! on Ice

※ I end up reading a lot of random shit. Until I’m a bit more comfortable I might censor a few things out, but there will be explicit fics, darker themes, crazy plots, and insane ships amongst all the sugar and fluff I find around the place. So the really important thing is to carefully read the warnings that I occasionally give & that are on the fic itself, and back away if it’s not for you.

Other posts in this little series can be found under the read fanfiction tag on my page~

Voltron

Black's Choice by Chloe_Hallow_Eve Words: 2.7k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Klance (Keith/Lance) Shiro's gone, and the team needs a new Black Paladin, and quick. But Black is a lot pickier about who she wants her paladin to be than first thought. Alternatively titled: No one wants to be the new black paladin but someone is forced to be anyways. ~ Thumbs up for black paladin lance!

Blue's Acceptance by Chloe_Hallow_Eve Words: 1.9k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): None After Lance becomes the black paladin, Allura becomes the blue paladin. Blue is quick to accept the princess. Alternatively titled: Blue would be anyone's Lion but she would pick Lance over anyone. ~ Really enjoyed this one! It's nice to read more about Allura.

The Blue In The Black by Chloe_Hallow_Eve Words: 2k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): None Black looks back at how Lance and her started out, and is ever so proud of where they are now. Alternatively titled: Black Reminiscences At What Just Might Be The Worst Time ~ More black paladin lance! <33

Make Me Your Home by Reader115 Words: 38k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Klance “Space cadet,” Keith mumbled. He repeated the words again although his eyes had zeroed in on Lance’s hands and Lance offered no resistance when Keith picked one of them up and pulled it possessively towards his lap. He began to gently trace over Lance’s fingers, sending shivers up Lance’s arm and down his spine. “You have looong fingers,” Keith murmured after a few moments. “I bet you could reach all kinds of things, Lance.” ~ So good! Really enjoyed this one, left me feeling super contented.

Teamwork Not Included by Chloe_Hallow_Eve Words: 3.4k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Klance (Eventual) Lance struggles with his new position. He's not entirely sure this is where he should be, but he's trying his best anyways. Alternately Titled: What Would Shiro Do ~ Nice installment in the series!

The Tide by Zurela Words: 4.1k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Klance Lance doesn't know whether or not he can trust Keith to have his back. But now that he's stuck under a tree, with broken bones, and on the verge of drowning, it seems he might not have a choice. ~ Good fic! I think I vaguely remember the show this is based off…

And We Go Where The Stars Take Us by thebestworstthing Words: 5.3k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Klance (Eventual) On the ninth day, Lance shuts his eyes in his own personal hell, and when he opens them he’s in his home back on earth surrounded by his family and the warmth and light is so bright his eyes burn with it. ~ Omg Lance, I'm so worried about him in regards to this fic… I have a feeling things are going to get way worse for him before they get better. But I also have a feeling this will be a good fic! The author said they'll update every few days, so we'll know soon enough!

It's Hard to be Diplomatic by Chloe_Hallow_Eve Words: 2.6k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Klance (Eventual), Shallura (Shiro/Allura) Team Voltron, now that they have Shiro back, go to Lotor to plan the final fight. Full title: It's hard to be diplomatic when you and the person you're supposed to be planning with keep flirting  ~ Nice fic! I'm looking forward to seeing how the rest of the series plays out.

Nancy Drew

starships were meant to fly. by rushie Words: 1.1k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): None The first time the boys met Sonny Joon, he had green hair. ~ I really enjoy reading this one! Although I might be just a bit biased since I love Sonny Joon and there isn't a huge amount of content for him…

Ace Attorney

A Bizarre, Beautiful Thing by Geodude96 Words: 1.5k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Athena/Apollo (I have no clue of any ship names, so I’m just gonna stick with this version) Athena chooses a beautiful way to remind Apollo about the important things in life. ~ A rare hetro pairing has appeared! Ww in all seriousness, this is a sweet fic.

Before & After by shinigami_yumi Words: 1.6k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Apollo/Nahyuta Three months after SoJ, Nahyuta and Apollo finally catch up and figure out where they stand now that the little girl Apollo grew up with is prince and regent. ~ Bit of a different pairing, not that I don't love Apollo and Nahyuta themselves, I just don't usually ship them. But it's a good fic!

Last Goodbye by DaisyDogOx Words: 1.4k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): None Apollo has one last chance to say goodbye to his father. He just never could've imagined it would hurt this much. ~ This is kinda short but it still made me cry a bit since it reminded me what happens in AA6… Major spoiler alert btw…

Discovery by thawrecka Words: 12k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): NaruMitsu (Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright ~ i.e. the only ship in this fandom that I know the actual name of www) At 35, and very confused, Phoenix reconsiders his sexuality and his feelings for Edgeworth. ~ Disregarding the very accurate portrayal of biphobia, this is very cute. Good pining and angst vs fluff ratio.

The Diplomatic Turnabout by Lumelle Words: 8.4k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Klavier/Apollo, Ema/Nahyuta The worst thing about being sorta-related to royalty, Apollo finds, is that sometimes he is the most diplomatic person around. Which really should never be the case, honestly, he is loud and abrasive while Rayfa has been raised to be a princess and Nahyuta is a holy monk, yet Rayfa is also spoiled and impatient while Nahyuta is developing a quite worrying penchant for practical jokes. Really, Apollo has his hands full trying to keep the country from slipping into war because his brother finds it quite amusing to aggravate various foreign politicians. And just what does Klavier Gavin have to do with all this? ~ It's nice to see them going about their business and being all domestic in Khura’in~ Would have been nice to see some of Rayfa instead of just hearing about her in passing. But a good fic!

Colors by shinigami_yumi Words: 6.3k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Apollo/Nahyuta In a reality where Nahyuta is born blind, Apollo becomes much more than his eyes. ~ An interesting fic! I enjoyed reading it~ :)

Backup Vocals by SummerMermaid Words: 77k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Klavier/Apollo Klavier Gavin is a prodigy prosecutor holding auditions for his band. Apollo Justice is the son of an accomplished guitarist who he can't get out of his head after he tries out. ~ Good fic! Quite a bit of drama, but it's well written and things seem to be panning out alright.

Yuri!!! on Ice

turntables by Vitali (exocara) Words: 4.3k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri (Victor Nikiforov/Katsuki Yuuri) Prompt: “you’re a celebrity who just broke up and i tweeted you a selfie with the caption “date me” as a joke but you thought i was serious?” au ~ Felt a little rushed, but a good fic nevertheless.

Masks off by emulikule Words: 27k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri And so the story goes that a playboy comes to a town, makes it fall in love with him and then proceeds to get himself enticed by the most mysterious person there. Wait... did it really go like that? ~ Awesome fic! Good plot, good length, good ending, and really nice execution! What else could you ask for?

Showing Results for 'Katsuki Yuuri' by Ferrero13 Words: 3.9k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri Victor makes it his goal to get Katsuki Yuuri, figure skater, to the first page of Google results. There is no way he could let such a brilliant skater be overshadowed by Katsuki Yuuri, winner of some stuffy academic medal, who is probably 50 and balding. Or: Yuuri has made a name for himself outside of figure skating, and athletes are slow on the uptake. ~ Omg Victor… This is hilarious, it's brilliant~

Twenty-Five Hours by 0lizzybennet0 Words: 14k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri In which Yuuri spends a 25 hour flight next to Victor Nikiforov, skating legend, and feels it might simultaneously be the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him. ~ This is great! It's really sweet, slightly angsty atm, but it's going to get sweet again soon! I just know it!

Rock, Paper, Scissors by nerdlife4eva Words: 3.3k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri Victor and Yuuri discover the only chore they both dislike is vacuuming and decide to rock, paper, scissors (RPS) each time the chore needs to be completed. Yuuri is an ace at RPS and Chris sends them personalized charts to track their successes. All adorable Victuuri hell breaks loose! (These two have no chill, in basically anything!) ~ Omg this fic~! Great for a laugh!

cover story by fan_nerd Words: 8.2k, Rating: Explicit, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri Yuuri stares down at the person standing in the doorway. The stranger hisses, "Who do you think you are, anyways?" Quickly, before he can really think about it, Yuuri responds, "I'm Victor's boyfriend." It's a lie, but the words feel good in his mouth, and for some reason, he doesn't want to take them back. ~ I loved this fic! It's really good! <3

The Return of the Little Piggy by SASS_QUEEN Words: 4.4k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri Everybody had their regrets in college. For the students, it was making fun of Katsuki Yuuri. For Yuuri, it was letting himself become too stupid. For Viktor, it was not doing anything. ~ This is a bit of a different fic, quite metaphorical in places, I'm not really sure what I think about it yet. Hopefully it'll be interesting. :)

[pickle-inspector]

100 questions: 1-100. (Or 33 and 59)

WELL DANG SCREW IT I FEEL LIKE OVERSHARING I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE OVERSHARING *CACKLES*

If anyone else wants to reblog the post, it was 100 Questions Also This Is A Link

Have a read more. Warning: So many questions about kissing. SO many. I got progressively more frustrated and I hope you can tell.

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?There are lots of people in my life. Also, no.2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?Mmmmmm, nope. I don’t know what you would count as “hurting me”?3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”...cats. What the heck.4: what’s something you really want right now?Cheesy corn, but Critical Role is on and that requires cooking5: are you afraid of falling in love?I’m not sure it’s possible for me, but I don’t think so?6: do you like the beach?Yeah, sun and sand and water is great.7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?See, the couch at my parents’ house has the pull-out footrest things, and Sundays are made for napping. So yes, technically, I have fallen asleep on the same couch as someone else. 8: what’s the background on your cell?Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III9: name the last four beds you were sat on?My dog sat on me while I was at home last, otherwise I couldn’t say.10: do you like your phone?I’m super mad that I cracked the glass on the back, but otherwise yes.11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?No, but my plans were sort of nebulous and vague anyway12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?A coworker13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?DOG.14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?I...don’t know? Maybe emotional because that doesn’t heal as quickly usually?15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?Depends on the zoo and museum. 16: are you tired?Always.17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?First? Like, first added to my phone? Probably my mom? So my whole life?18: are they a relative?Assuming my guess was right, then yes. 19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?He’s married; no thanks. 20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?Baccalaureate, so....three years ago?21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?Sure.22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?No. Again, married. 23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?None, just a watch.24: is there a certain quote you live by?”Life needs things to live.”25: what’s on your mind?Critical Role.26: do you have any tattoos?No.27: what is your favorite color?Black.28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?Heck if I know. I don’t even know if I’m gonna kiss anyone ever again? (Also, kissing is gross leave me alone.)29: who are you texting?Nobody is texting me right now, though I should respond to one my mom sent about an hour ago.30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?Why are there so many kissing questions and no.31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?Yupp. I’m good at that. 32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?Yes.33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?No.34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?No. Yes. Wait. I don’t remember. 35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?Seriously. What is with this quiz and kissing? Also, I don’t like when people kiss in front of me.36: were you single on valentines day?Yes.37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? Do you like dogs?Yes, dogs are great. They’re my favorite. Thanks for asking.38: what do your friends call you?Yurii, Yoyo, and Pickle. 39: has anyone upset you in the last week?I dislike most of my coworkers, but I want to punch the General Manager so badly.40: have you ever cried over a text?Over a Tumblr IM, yes.41: where’s your last bruise located?Haven’t got any right now.42: what is it from?See previous question. 43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?Every time I’m at work.44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?My dad. Unless you count at work, then some random lady who was making stuff up to get mad at me.45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?I like my converse. 46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?Depends on where I’m doing that day. if it’s work, then screw it, who cares.47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?No.48: do you make supper for your family?I don’t make supper for myself.49: does your bedroom have a door?Yes.50: top 3 web-pages?Tumblr. I don’t actually use other websites.51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?Me. My mom. My sister.52: does anything on your body hurt?Not in particular right now.53: are goodbyes hard for you?Nah.54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?Dr. Pepper.55: how is your hair?In existence. Too long.56: what do you usually do first in the morning?I hit snooze seven times or more.57: do you think two people can last forever?If they are committed to each other, then yes, definitely.58: think back to january 2007, were you single?Oh shoot, that might have been the one January that I wasn’t single? Wow. Good guess.59: green or purple grapes?Green.60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?*shrug* I don’t generally initiate hugs, so I never know.61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?I’m not at work, so no, I’m good.62: when will be the next time you text someone?The next time someone texts me or I have something I need to say or ask. I’m not psychic. I cannot see the future. Stop asking these questions?63: where will you be 5 hours from now?Sleeping, with any luck.64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.Sleeping.65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?Yes.66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?Sure.67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?Heck no.68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?Man, I was working on the OC/universe stuff. It’s what I do while I’m falling asleep.69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Probably.70: how many windows are open on your computer?Five.71: how many fingers do you have?Ten?72: what is your ringtone?Red/Blue title screen song73: how old will you be in 5 months?2674: where is your mum right now?Home.75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?Heck no.77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?Technically, perhaps.78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?Yeah, sure.79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?I have a cousin who went by Mike(y) until he got too old and mature for that.80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?Not since I was a baby.81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?There were a couple of coworkers I didn’t hate, so I guess I technically--Oh, you mean crushes. No.82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?No.83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?No.84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?First, I don’t drink. Second, guys/girls are not hot. Third, I don’t have IRL friends.85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?Yes, I would. Drugs are expensive and stuff.86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?I watched a movie.87: who was your last received call from?My Dad.88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?Who the heck is offering me that much money to burn a butterfly.89: what is something you wish you had more of?Money. Free time. Mostly free time, though more money could mean I have more free time.90: have you ever trusted someone too much?Sure?91: do you sleep with your window open?No.92: do you get along with girls?Sure?93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?No.94: does sex mean love?I’m not interested in sex, so sex means bupkis to me.95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?Yes, I’m locked in a room. Why am I locked in a room.96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? How about cats? Sure! Not my favorite, but they’re nice.97: did you sleep alone this week?NO, I HAVE LIKE TEN STUFFED ANIMALS I SHARE THE BED WITH.98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?I have some people I don’t hate, so sure.99: do you believe in love at first sight?No.100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?Heck if I know.