#like she hasn't apologized yet or anything. but now that my husband understands his own neurodivergence;

[viksalos]

ever since we figured out my husband, his sister, and his cousins are all autistic, the possibility that i married into an entirely autistic catholic family where all of the older adults are undiagnosed is kind of objectively hilarious tbh. everyone's autistic drives compel them to need a bunch of alone time but everyone's catholic cultural mores compel them to put family first and repress the hell out of themselves. no wonder they're all passive-aggressive as hell to each other all the time and got mad at me when i didn't pick up on how to do "family" that way. i literally did get catholic religious trauma-by-proxy lmfao

[yanderemommabean]

(loved your scenario from my last ask!👍)

When you first agreed to this job, you thought it would be a simple 3 hour babysitting deal.

However, that's not what happened. Firstly, the woman who hired you was, for lack of a better word, a total b#tch. She didn't bother to greet you when you arrived at the fancy house. She just snapped her fingers and ordered you inside like you were a dog.

Second, she wouldn't make eye contact with you and ignored any and all questions you had about her child. Even basic questions like are there any rules you need to follow? is the child allergic to anything? What should you do in case of an emergency? The woman scoffed and looked at you like you were an idiot! Then telling you that her husband takes care of all of that and to call him if anything happens.

Third, the woman clearly didn't seem to care in the slightest about her child. The moment she pulled a little girl into the room with you, she practically shoved the young girl forward and raced out the door. You barely had time to catch the girl before she fell on the floor before the mom was gone. She didn't even give you her husband's contact info!?

It wasn't until a few minutes after she left that you realize she didn't even pay you half your agreed amount like she promised!

Regardless, you try to focus on the little girl in front of you. She couldn't be older than 5 or 6 and was shaking nervously. You do your best to comfort the child and decide to continue with this babysitting job.

Except, 3 hours have long since pass and the mother hasn't returned yet. At first you thought she got stuck in traffic or something and waited a little longer. But after 2 more hours you were getting worried.

She isn't answering her phone no matter how many times you call her number. By this point it getting dark and the mom still won't pick up. With no way to contact the girl's father, you contemplate calling the police about possible abandonment.

Only for the father to finally come home and you breathe a sigh of relief before explaining what happened.

He apologizes for the trouble his wife caused and thankfully pays you extra for watching his daughter. He then offer you a job as the girl's nanny. Seeing as you could definitely use the money you agreed.

The father was surprisingly nice and understanding. It was clear he loved his daughter very much and it honestly made you wonder why he married such an awful woman but hey your bosses marriage is none of your business.

You love spending time with his daughter though. She was such a sweet little girl and you couldn't comprehend how someone could be so mean to her especially her own mother.

You be lying if you said you didn't find the husband attractive. He was handsome, kind, was a doting father, and had a great sense of humor. He was anyone's ideal type.

Shame he's married but what can you do?

However, things suddenly changed one day.

You arrive at you usual time expecting the standard fun bonding time. But no. Instead when the father answers the door like usual. You notice he seems a bit different.

The smile he usually greets you with seems more forced and looks to be more worried than usual.

When ask him what's wrong he tries to brush it off, but after a bit of prodding, he finally tells you.

Apparently, his wife hasn't come home for 2 week now. He used to her not coming home for days at a time but this the longest she ever been gone and he's beginning to worry that she's finally decided to up and leave him and their daughter.

You wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. In the few times you interacted with wife, it was pretty obvious that she couldn't care less about her husband and daughter. But that doesn't make the idea of her abandoning her family any better.

Of course, you comfort him and reassure him it's not his fault. You spend the rest of the day with him and his daughter and later all three of you go out to eat

Your off the next day, so you decide to sleep in. But when you wake up and check the news, what you see shocks you to your very core.

A woman was found murdered in her hotel room. But what truly shocked you was the picture of the woman. It was the missing wife.

She was tied to the bed frame wearing a very revealing nightgown and had gag tied to her mouth. There was a clear red hand mark on her neck as if the person tried to strangle her as well as multiple stab wounds on her stomach and abdomen. She most likely died from blood.

To make matters worse, the man suspected to have killed her was her affair partner of 5 years. Police stated they found the man terrified and covered in blood. A knife thought to be the murder weapon was later found in the man's apartment.

She may have been an awful person as well as wife and mother, but you didn't think anyone would go as far as to kill her

You immediately call your the husband to see if he and his daughter are alright. He sounds a bit shaken but says their alright.

Of course, you head over there to make sure and give your support.

You hug him and tell him that everything's alright, that you'll stay as long as he needs you to. He thanks you and hugs you tightly.

You don't notice the twisted smile on his face as he holds you.

Finally, the parasite that's made his life a living hell is finally gone! There's nothing stopping him from keeping you from where you rightfully belong now~

He already has the ring, now you just need a wedding dress~

It’s been weeks since the horrific incident occurred. You were staying over almost every night as the man dealt with the loss, the cops, the family and more. The poor thing was under so much stress, the bags under his eyes seeming to grow rather than fade. You figured maybe you could do more than just keep his daughter company, he seemed liked he needed a one on one with another, more compassionate and understanding adult. 

You two sit on the couch as little Lila headed to bed, his head leaned back in an exhausted sigh. Honestly, he should’ve expected the press to be up his ass this much, it’s not a surprise, but he can’t get rid of them or it’ll add suspicion to his story, so he needs to play his part. The poor businessman who’s being prosecuted by the public who truly has nothing to do with what happened to his wife. 

Is it a lie? Yes absolutely, but he didn’t get to the top being an honest, hardworking, goody two shoes either. 

A gentle touch to his hand guides him out of his thoughts, and his fingers clench softly. He held your hand for a moment as he soaked in the new scene, with you sitting beside him and letting him be bare and open around you. 

“I figured…You know, you needed someone to talk to that didn’t have a microphone” you joked, scooting a bit closer as you pulled your legs up onto the couch. He smirked, eyes raking over you for a moment at the serene and calm aura you give. Such a sweet, genuine soul right before him. He’s addicted to the feeling, and he hasn’t even had all of you. 

God does he want all that you have. To taste you on his tongue while you let him take you apart in every way. 

“Ah, you saw through the fake smiles did ya?” he quipped, giving a soft smile as you playfully pouted. “I'm serious, this stress…I can’t imagine what you’re going through, especially trying to keep Lila out of it all too. I know she wasn’t much of a mom to begin with but…This still isn’t an ideal situation for anyone”. 

He mumbled under his breath, but you didn’t catch it. Fingers come to push his hair out of his eyes, and he takes a deep breath. “Well, what can I say? She was a vindictive, conniving little bitch who had to make my life hell, even in death”. His voice held venom, but his hand was still soft as it reached to grab yours, gingerly squeezing. 

“Sorry-” he begins, only for you to shake your head. “No, no you’re fine! I…Well I honestly agree. I can’t think of one positive thing she’s done other than give birth to our-” you pause, a deep heat spreading on your face at the slip up. “Sorry! Oh gosh I mean YOUR daughter. Ugh I sound like such a dork now huh?”. 

His heart swelled with joy hearing that. You saw yourself as Lila’s parent, with no force or fake emotion behind those wonderful words. You’re finally seeing your rightful place. Here, with them, loving and being with them as they love and support you in return. 

Everything is falling into place perfectly. 

“No, you’re alright. I would rather Lila see you as her other parent than feel like half of her family is missing”. He moves closer to you, allowing his hand to come up to rest on the meat of your upper thigh, not too close but definitely something you can take as an invitation. 

“If I’m honest, I…feel more of a connection with you than any other person I’ve been with. I feel like you and I…Have something more than just a business relationship”. 

You pause, mouth struggling to come up with anything to say. You can’t deny you’ve had feelings, but you’ve finally been able to bury them and try to get past them. Now he’s suddenly ready to jump ship? And so soon after his wife? “I-I…Uh..I uhm-” You stammer, turning away as you fumble over words and embarrass yourself even more. 

He gives a warm laugh, and sits back, raising his hands to show he was backing off. “Sorry. You’re probably reeling just like I am huh? I didn’t mean to cross any lines. But…I am being truthful here. I do feel a connection, and I won’t pretend anymore”. 

You swallow, and bring yourself to face him once again, hands nervously playing with your fingers. “I won’t say I don’t find you attractive either, it’s just…What if you aren’t thinking clearly? What if you’re just an emotional wreck and see me as a means to get a quick escape? I don’t want to hurt you by agreeing to anything”. 

Oh, you absolute angel. You were truly thinking of his well being, and he was leagues away from that. He wanted to seal this deal, and show you how grateful he was that you stuck around. For you to even consider you could hurt him in any manner is more than he could ask for, and shows how correct he was in choosing you for his new lover. 

You’re perfect for him. Caring, kind, intelligent, and more. He won’t let you leave him so easily with these little insecurities. 

“You think I’d see you as a toy and leave once I feel better?” 

You jump, shaking your head as you straighten up “No! No no I just- I don’t want you to be hurt by not having the right outlet!”

He laughs, and acts on instinct, tugging you closer by your wrists. “I’m not using you as an outlet. I want more than just a fling with you. I don’t see you as a fuck I can’t get out of my head, Y/N. I see you as someone I’ve been craving since I married that whore, who I’ve been denied for years. I want more than your body, I want your everything”. 

You look away, or well, you try too. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, and helps guide you to look into his eyes, keeping you grounded to the situation at hand. 

“I won’t force you into anything. I promise. I just…I don’t want to be alone tonight” He says solemnly, pressing his forehead against yours as you sit on his lap. His eyes are closed as he breathes you in, your hands playing with his hair to calm him down and indulge him even more. “Would you consider me foolish if I asked you to stay?” 

With everything happening, and how vulnerable he is, how could you in good conscience say no? You trust him not to force anything, though it’s not as if you don’t want those large, calloused hands on you and holding you close. You suppose a night in his home could help ease his mind and give him a much needed break. 

“Alright” you murmur, slowly stopping your fingers as they play with his hair, feeling his muscles relax as he held you. “Thank you…You’re truly too good for words”. 

(-Mommabean, hey! Tell me what you think!)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hue and Cry VII

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), mentions of previous forced oral, abuse of power, these men ain't shit.

This is dark!medieval!Bucky Barnes x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You face a reckoning for evading your lord.

Note: This wasn't planned but things just turned out this way because my go to is fuck the reader. Oop.

Thanks to everyone and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

The nights only got harder. It didn't matter if Lord Barnes wanted to touch you or wanted you to touch him, even just laying beside him was torment. You hated what he'd done to you and what he'd made you do. You hated yourself more for how he made you feel.

You decided that day in the carriage during the rainstorm that you hated him. You hated Lord Barnes more than even Lord Rogers. At least the latter was honest in his lechery, he did not try to veil his true desires but Barnes spoke to you sweetly as he forced his needs upon you.

The night before you were due to reach the capital, you did not sleep. You couldn't in the bed next to Barnes. He wanted to be astride as he entered the city and so you were left to ride alone in the carriage. The sway soon had you across the bench in a deep slumber. It was the best sleep you had in weeks.

You only woke as a hammering came at the door and streaks of sunlight were let in as it opened. A footman called you out and helped you down the step into the dirt. You batted your sleepy eyes and marveled at the castle as it came clear. It was getting colder as the autumn wore on, bitter. It was the wrong season for a tournament.

As you trod through the beaten yard of the castle, Lord Barnes clapped off his right hand, the leather glove dusting, and approached you. He’s gaze strayed to Lord Rogers for a moment then back to you. He dropped his shoulders and scrunched his lips.

“I have an audience with the king,” he said glumly, “as much as I’d prefer you attend with me it has been brought to my attention that… the court might not be as accommodating to you as I am. Regardless, I might have a seat arranged for you at the feast and you were surely sit in the rows for the sparring.”

“I… my lord, I am only--”

“I told you,” he interjected, “you are not a maid anymore.”

You held your tongue as you wanted to spit at him. What were you? A courtesan? A whore? Was that better than emptying his pot? You dipped your head and pulled your cape snug, “my lord.”

“See her to my rooms,” Barnes directed the footman at your shoulder, “once the chests are unpacked, she is to be undisturbed. My guard will have the same orders.”

“Yes, my lord,” the footman bowed, “my lady.”

You looked at the footman and slowly followed him away from Barnes. You were eager to be away from him but not eager to be shown your new prison. You entered the castle and followed the torchlit corridors beside the footman.

“I’m not a lady,” you said at last, “I don’t want you to ever call me that again.”

“My apologies, my--” he stuttered, “the lord bid it.”

“He lies to himself and you,” you muttered, “I was born as you, likely lower. My own mother was a laundress and my father a stablehand. Cut from the finest, I am.”

The footman was quiet as he waved you ahead of him up the coiling stairwell. You regretted your harsh words but knew they could never be delivered to their true target. When you reached the chamber designated to your master, you stopped outside. Lester was already at his station by the lord’s doors.

“I am sorry,” you told the footman, “I was unkind. You do not deserve that.”

His lips curved slightly and he hid his amusement, “I know now you are like me,” he said softly, “the nobles, they don’t apologise.”

You chuckled darkly and left him. You passed the servants as they carried in trunks and opened them in a flurry of duty. You went to the bedroom and climbed up on the large feather mattress. That time you had to yourself, even surrounded by the chaos of your arrival, was a relief. You did not know how long you’d get away from Barnes.

🏰

You fell asleep again. This time, you weren’t floating in your dreams, driven wildly by the tides, but you were still, straight as a board in the ground as dirty sprinkled onto you. The cold earth warmed as the layers piled on you. Deeper, deeper, deeper until you couldn’t breathe.

You woke with a start and nearly screamed as a shadow loomed over you. Barnes sat beside you, his legs over the edge of the couch. He played with the lifeless fingers of his artificial hand. Your hood was on the pillow, crumpled and the folds of your dress were bunched awkwardly beneath your body.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he murmured, “just wanted to sit with you.”

“How long--”

“It is almost time for supper,” he said, “but the feast is not until the morrow. You might remain and rest some more.”

You didn’t move, just looked up at the canopy and laid there. You didn’t say anything more as you folded your arms over the stiff bodice.

“You should sleep… the journey was long. Tiring,” he continued.

You just blinked but didn’t close your eyes. The canopy was a rich green marked with gold. The stitches were woven in the shape of leaves and vines. You thought of the forest and those days you were so scared. You were much more terrified now.

“I wanted to say, and I should now since you are awake,” he began as he leaned on his elbow and his other arm fell limp and heavy, “what occurred with Rogers will not arise again. I made him a promise I regret and it was sorted.”

You held back a shudder as you thought of the salty tasted and the pungent scent of their arousal. You swallowed and hugged yourself tighter.

“If he attempts to reenact the scene, or more, you will inform me, and you have my leave to see that he does not,” Barnes said sternly, “you are still mine. I would not have you confused.”

You rolled onto your side so that your back was to him. He huffed and his hand fell onto your side. He squeezed and the bed shifted. He said your name and every muscle in your body went taut.

“Do you understand?” he asked.

“I’m tired,” you said.

“I want no mistake. You--”

“I belong to you,” you sneered, “you want to use me, you want to own me, you want me to tell you I know I am nothing but the dirt beneath your boot. Let me assure you I am aware--”

“Do not speak to me as such,” he hissed.

You bit back your voice and heaved. You sucked in your cheeks and wriggled away from his reach. “It is understood, my lord. Now as you bid, I would sleep.”

🏰

The only grace allowed you at the feast, rather denied you, was a seat with your lord. As much as Barnes would prefer to have you close he was still bound by the expectations of court. He didn't let on that you were merely a servant but you didn't think anyone could believe otherwise. For his vouching, you were sat among the lower lords and ladies.

You watched as wine was poured for you. You eyed the girl who kept her chin down as the filled the cups and thought of your own time in a similar duty. What did Barnes find so fascinating about you? You had only done what dozens others had done for him before. You couldn't figure you had an outstanding feature or manner that could explain his interest, it could only be your own poor luck.

You ate without tasting, without zeal, slowly as you brought fork to lip and dissolved into the chatter of strangers around you. All those seated at the long tables had a partner or some family with them. You were alone. Your parents were dead and all those you'd ever had a kindred tie to were far away.

"Uncle," a voice perked up across from you and drew your attention as you chewed the spiced rabbit meat, "if I made the lists, surely I can win!"

"My coin got you on those lists," the older man replied, "it is all formality. Should you gace a king or a duke, you would be remiss to claim victory."

"I am to lay down for their title?" The younger scoffed, "I am a man now and I have trained--"

"But you think like a boy," the other rebuked, "a runner up can take a fine purse still and if you feed the ego of a high borne man he will be more willing to show you favour."

You lowered your fork and looked at the two men as they argued. The elder`s hair was sprinkled with grey but the rest the same shade of reddish brown as the youth. You were heartened by their familial banter but saddened at your own solace. You dropped your hands to your lap and looked at your plate.

"Dear," the woman beside you touched your sleeve, "are you well?"

You turned to her startled and nodded. "Yes, my lady," you cleared your throat, "fine indeed."

She peered past you then shared a look with the older man across the table. She was not so grey as him. She smiled and withdrew her hand. "You are alone?"

"Only me, my lady," you answered.

"And overly polite," she chuckled, "a pity. A young girl sent to court without escort. What family could do such a thing? You must be frightened out of your wits."

"I will… persevere," you said.

"Ay but it is the nature of these events to be cordial. I am May Parker, my husband is a baron," she gestured to the older man across from you, "Benjamin, and my nephew, Peter, a viscount in his beloved father's stead," she smiled at the younger man, "and your name?"

You hadn't been told what to say in the circumstance. You hadn't thought of it and surely Barnes hadn't either. You would have to garnish the truth with enough lies to get by. You twined your fingers together. You offered your name, your truth, then conjured your lies as you spoke.

"My father is, er, was, a baron as well," you said, "I am his only child."

"Oh, you sweet thing, if you would be alone for this tournament, you might stay near to us. My nephew hasn't many peers of his age just yet, and my husband is much too weary to keep up with him."

You glanced around, the two men bowed their heads in greeting. You attempted a smile and thanked her.

"Our Peter will be competing in the joust and in the sword contest," she announced, "we did urge him to enter the bow and arrow but he finds it dull."

"Oh," you were uncertain how to address these people, to speak as if you were their equal, "I've never attended a tourney before."

"Best you stay close then," she squeezed your hand gently, "why look at all these people! Even that Duke from the north came, bless him, that one who did lose his arm in the campaigns."

You reached for your wine to hide your discomfort at the mention of him. All you had to do was pretend for the evening and you'd likely not see these people again. As friendly as they were, you couldn't stand to make friends only to lose them.

You listened for the rest of the courses as May and her family did much of the talking. There were moments you forgot your predicament, even that you were born a peasant, but when it returned to you, the food turned to a lump in your stomach and your heart clamoured.

You were roused from the waking dream only as the music plucked up and the plates were cleared by your own ilk. May chuckled and stood as her husband came around to her. She paused as the bodies flooded from the benches onto the boards. She touched your shoulder kindly, "if you would be in want of a partner, our Peter is rather graceful."

You looked to the younger Parker and he lit up. "Only if you like, miss."

"I… would say I am not so," you said evasively.

"It would not bother me, I trained with the old hound that slept in our barn, he slobbered quite heavily," he laughed, "but I would be indebted should you allow me the treat of a true partner."

"I suppose…" you looked to the high table where Barnes scowled at Lord Rogers, entirely unconcerned with you for the first time in a while. Perhaps this was a chance; lose yourself in the crowd and you might find the opening you needed. Or perhaps merely a respite from him at least, "I do warn you however, I would not know where to place my feet."

May and Benjamin swept away as Peter came around to you. He offered his arm and you mimicked the other ladies as you took it.

He lifted his shoulders proudly as he led you to the floor, "only step around my own and I will do my best not to trod on your slippers, lady." He turned you in time with the music, your arms hooked so that you faced in opposing direction, "follow me and do not worry so much. No one is watching us so closely."

You smiled, a real smile that time as the strings and flutes filled your chest. As this kind stranger patiently guided you around the boards. You raised your chin as you did your best to stay on the beat but nearly tripped as your eyes met another pair.

Lord Barnes glared down at you from the high table, the only lord remaining in his seat, and his hand gripped the stem of his goblet tightly. Even at the distance, you felt his chagrin. And as he stood, your sole met Peter's toe but he only snickered and righted you.

"You're doing fine, lady," he assured as he spun and switched arms, you let him lead you dumbly as you watched Barnes descend from the dais, "a natural."

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty *this is the longest chapter I have ever written! So make sure you bring your snacks and strap yourself in;)*

Word Count: over 6k

Warning: sex without consent, smut, fluff and heavy angst

You did not get much sleep on that night and neither did your beloved. His heart rate did not lower as the hours progressed. His jaw stayed clenched at the thought of his friend's attempt to kiss you. You are very beautiful, he gives him that, but that gives him no right to kiss his wife. He would never do that to Katya, so why would he do this to him? Oh, that is right. Him and Katya shared a kiss on that one night before the battle to win Kattegat back from his brother Bjorn. But how could Prince Oleg know? He pondered that question in his head over and over again. The only possible reason for him to do such a thing is because he found out about him and Katya's quick moment. She must have told him, or someone else did but he was not stupid enough to ask such a question. So he stayed still as he watched your eyelids struggle to stay closed. He knew that you were not sleeping either, but still, he held you in his arms and never let you go. And he made sure that his ax was by his bed and his dagger was on his waistband. He was not letting anyone touch you, or harm you in any way, shape, or form. You are his and his alone. If Prince Oleg thought differently, he has another thing coming for him, that is certain. 

Soon enough, the sunshine crept its way through the windows of your chambers and Ivar lifted both of your bodies up from the warm pillows. You both sigh from the lack of sleep but he knew from the look on your face that you are struggling more than him. With you being several months pregnant, you need the sleep for both you and the baby. 

Ivar "Sweetheart, you did not sleep at all?" You shake your head no, "Why? I was not going to let anyone-"

"I know, I know.."

Ivar "So why did you not sleep, hmm?" He places stray hairs behind your ears.

"Just an unnerving feeling. I don't like perverted men, Ivar. I thought that he was your friend."

Ivar "He is."

"Friends do not try to get their friend's wives into their bed, Ivar. He even offered!"

Ivar "I am aware Y/n. I will take care of this."

"If Hvitserk hasn't done that already." You snapped. 

Ivar snickers, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Hvitserk stopped him last night Ivar, that is what I meant."

Ivar "You-do not sit here and tell me that I never save you, that I never protect you! I am your king! I am your husband! Treat me like it huh?!" You laugh at his reaction. But it made you think: has Ivar ever saved you? Has he ever helped you? Helped you, oh absolutely! Saved you, no. Hvitserk has always been the one to save you. Hell, you were taken from your own home while Ivar slept beside you. So you laugh and get out of bed. 

Ivar "And where do you think you are going?"

"I need to stretch my legs..beloved." You put on a fur blanket around your arms and chest to cover yourself up a bit before leaving the room. You had to walk away from Ivar, or else it would be a fight and you did not wish to have one with Ivar. It is useless. You would both feel like they're right so what is the point? It would only bring on a migraine, to which you already have one from the lack of sleep. Ivar just watches you leave and puts his head into the palms of his hands at the realization that you are absolutely right. Hvitserk was there for you last night..he was not. Hvitserk seems to always be there when you need him the most, but it should be the other way around and that makes Ivar feel like a horrible husband and king. He will never forgive himself for that night, because he could have stopped King Harald.

Ivar "What can I do?" He whispered to himself as he looked at the door his wife just left. 

…

You meet Katya in the hallway and she stops you out of concern from the look on your face and the dark circles. 

Katya "Oh darling, are you alright?"

"Oh yes, I am fine. Thank you."

Katya "Do not lie, there is no need for that, Y/n. I know that I met you yesterday but I have grown to like you. I am here for you, woman to woman, queen to queen..are you alright?"

"Just very tired. This baby is becoming too big for my body." You force a laugh because it was a lie. Your belly is very large but nothing that you cannot handle. You just did not feel like talking at the moment.

Katya "Oh, alright then. Could I do anything? Run you a bath, perhaps?"

"Oh that is too kind, but no thank you. I am actually going to go out for a walk-"

Ivar "Not without me, I hope." He says as he comes up from behind you. You look at him and then back at Katya. Her smile quickly fades when she sees that your smile is obviously not sincere. 

"Of course, my love. You can walk with me." He smiles. 

Ivar "Good morning, Princess. How was your night?"

Katya "It was fine, thank you for asking. And yours?"

Ivar "Just as fine, thank you. Now, If you'll excuse us."

Katya "Of course." She moves out of the way and lets the both of you pass her in the hallway. She can tell that something is off but she doesn't not know what. 

Once you and Ivar are out of the doors of Prince Oleg's kingdom, he opens his mouth. 

Ivar "I am sorry." You do not respond. "You do not accept my apology?"

"What exactly are you apologizing for, Ivar?"

Ivar "For not saving you, like I promised. I did not save you on-"

"We've gone over that millions of times, I forgive you."

Ivar "And I am sorry for not being there last night. I sensed something was..wrong when it took you so long. But I ignored my own thoughts. And I shouldn't have. I am sorry."

You nod, "Thank you. And I forgive you." He walks closer to you and kisses you on the forehead. 

Ivar "I love you Y/n. I love you more than everything."

"I know. And I love you too-"

Prince Oleg "Ah, there you two are! Good morning!" You jolt when you hear his voice and you walk a few paces backwards. 

Ivar "Mm, hello Oleg. Good morning."

Prince Oleg "What is the matter?! You two seem so down on this bright and lovely day."

"No sleep."

Prince Oleg "Oh, that is a shame. Was it the bed-"

Ivar "No, not at all. It was someone's actions that made the both of us uneasy." He says with direct eye contact, making Prince Oleg take a step back. 

Prince Oleg "Oh, well..today is a new day. New beginnings! So, in celebration of your return..I have arranged a little play to be had in my front field, in a few hours." 

"And what does this play entail?"

Prince Oleg "Uh uh uhh, that will be discovered when you arrive."

Ivar "We will be there.."

Prince Oleg "Wonderful. I will see you two very soon." He says as he pats Ivar on his shoulder and walks in the opposite direction. You look at Ivae in shock.

"He does plays now?"

Ivar "He has a weird skit thing that he does..little Igor even have dolls that he uses for reenactments."

"Wonderful. Why did you fail to tell me how Oleg really is, hmm?"

Ivar "I did tell you."

"All of the good things, but none of his strange tendencies."

Ivar "If you do not like him, why don't you leave? You are a queen, you can come and go as you please. If you do not like Prince Oleg, you can go home to Kattegat."

"I know that you do not mean that Ivar. So I am not going to take that to heart. But if you do not take care of what happened last night, and not take responsibility and accountability for me, I will be taking Ryuu and I will be gone within an hour. Do you understand me?" He smirks and chuckles a bit but then his eyes start to fill with tears. He does not speak, he only nods 'yes' and you walk away from him yet again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hvitserk finds you sitting on the balcony, talking to the daughter in your belly and he stands there for only a moment, to admire you. You catch him and open your arms for him to hug you. You need his comfort after the long night and the argumentative morning that you have been having. 

Hvitserk hums once you are in his arms and you just inhale his scent that engulfs your senses and warms your soul. 

Hvitserk "I've got you." He says as he rubs small circles around the small of your back and you smile. 

"How did you sleep?" You say as he lets go.

Hvitserk "Not even a single hour..and you?"

"Notta.." you both laugh at the deliriousness. 

Hvitserk "I just sat in the doorway and kept an eye on your room. I didn't like what happened last night."

"You did that?"

Hvitserk "Of course I did."

"You did not have too, Ivar slept with his-"

Hvitserk "Dagger. Yeah, he always does. Ever since that night, he always sleeps with it on him.. or next to him. But, a dagger is useless if you do not wake up in enough time to use it, aye?"

You nod, "Yeah, I guess you are right."

Hvitserk "What is on your mind, kitten."

"I am just looking forward to going home. Ivar and I have been arguing all morning."

Hvitserk "I figured that. But it is normal..it is okay to have arguments. It is okay to have outbursts and tiffs..but you fight with love. It's never anger, it is out of love."

"That is a great way to put it, Hvitserk. I will have to remember that."

Hvitserk "So, what were you telling our little angel in there?" He says as he places his hands over your belly. 

"Ohh, just a lullaby."

Hvitserk "Sing it to me." He smiles once you smile and he lies his head on your belly as you sing it to him. You fiddle with his braids as you sing and he rubs your belly for you. And occasionally kisses it, making you giggle because it tickles you. 

Hvitserk "You aren't ticklish there when we are in bed-" your jaw drops and you smack his arm playfully, making him burst out laughing. "I am not wrong."

"I know but shush, come back and let me finish my lullaby." He complies and you sing until the very end. Once it ends, he leans up and kisses you before helping you up from the lounge chair.

Hvitserk "That was beautiful, princess."

"You think she heard it?"

Hvitserk "Of course she did. And she smiled, but we cannot see that yet."

"Hmm. Prince Oleg has a play..it is supposed to start in a hour or so."

Hvitserk "Ah yes, I remember his plays. They are quite interesting."

"Help me pick out a dress, will you?"

Hvitserk "It would be my pleasure." You walk back into the home and he helps you pick out a beautiful white dress for the scheduled play. Today is going to be a warm day which excites you and Hvitserk. Because your little one is going to be born in the summer season!

Ivar thinks long and hard on how he is going to confront Prince Oleg without it becoming a huge fight and someone ending up hurt or worse. Having two ill-tempered kings is not a good mix but somehow, they are friends? Nonetheless, he found Prince Oleg talking to a few of his people, trying to prep them for the play when Ivar interrupts him. 

Ivar "We need to have a little talk, Prince Oleg."

Prince Oleg "Can it wait?"

Ivar "No, I'm afraid it is urgent." Prince Oleg looks at his people, whispered a few words and then they left Ivar and him to talk in private.

Prince Oleg "What is it, my friend?"

Ivar "It has come to my knowledge that you made advances to my wife, last night."

Prince Oleg "And who told you that?"

Ivar "My wife!"

Prince Oleg "And you believe everything that woman tells you?"

Ivar "Of course I do. I love her and she loves me-"

Prince Oleg "Ohh, poor Ivar..so nai-"

Ivar "I am telling you right now, if you do not keep your hands and your perverted mouth away from my wife, you are asking for a war. Do you understand me, huh?!" Ivar was not going to allow this man to twist his marriage when he was in the wrong. So he shouted that, for his people to overhear and they began to stare. That made Prince Oleg feel the pressure and realize that he needs to agree or he would be having a war in a few days time. 

Prince Oleg starts to laugh out of shock and nervousness, "Okay, okay..I heard you Ivar the Boneless."

Ivar "Have I made myself clear, my friend? She is mine and mine alone. She is not a slave nor is she going to be your play-thing...understood?"

Prince Oleg sighs, "But she is-" Ivar takes out his dagger and places it to Oleg's throat. Specifically, right on his vein that would kill him in a matter of seconds if cut. 

Ivar "If you want to play this game, Prince Oleg...would you like to die by my blade.. or by dragon?" Prince Oleg stammers and looks at the massive creature that is licking his lips as he stares at the man that his father has a blade to. 

Prince Oleg "Oka-okay! We have an understanding! I am sorry, just get off of me!" Ivar backs off and puts his blade in his waistband. 

Ivar "Good. Now, go on and finish getting your people ready for this play of yours. Wouldn't want to displease us, now would you? You have already been so rude to your guest, wouldn't want-"

Prince Oleg "She will love the play, I am sure of it."

Ivar "Good, that is good huh?!" He playfully hits Oleg on the shoulder. 

Prince Oleg "Of course. I sincerely apologize Ivar.."

Ivar "Good. After the play or before..you can apologize to the woman that you treated with disrespect. And see if she accepts your apology." He walks away before Oleg has the chance to respond. Leaving him out of breath from that shock of fear, it was startling to say the least. He looks at Ivar and back at Ryuu who is still gawking at him with his fangs out. Prince Oleg hurries his way to his people and pretends like nothing happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you are finished getting ready with Hvitserk, Ivar is coming into the doors of the palace. Katya is goofing around with Igor in the foyer. She smiles when she sees you walking in the room.

Katya "Well, don't you look gorgeous!"

"Thank you, beautiful! So are you." She thanks you and gives you a quick hug while Hvitserk walks up to Ivar.

Hvitserk "Did you make it clear?"

Ivar "Of course I did, my brother. "

Hvitserk "What did you tell him?"

Ivar "Ahh let's just say, it was either he died by my blade or by Y/n's dragon so he apologized." They both burst out laughing, making you and Katya look in their direction.

Katya "What is it?"

Ivar "Oh I just scared your husband a little bit..!"

Katya "Oh, of course you did. You can't help yourself, can you?"

Ivar "He deserved it."

Katya "What did he do and what did you do?" Ivar crutches his way over to Katya and looks down at you and then back at her. 

Ivar "Your husband tried to touch and kiss my wife." She looks at you and you look down. That is all the confirmation that she needed. "So I told your husband to stop his perverted attempts at getting with my pregnant wife or me or Y/n's dragon will take care of him for his actions."

Katya "Y/n I-I am so sorry! I had no idea-"

"Katya it is okay."

Katya "It is not okay. You are now my friend and I care for you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just wanted to forget about it, to tell you the complete truth. I have been through a lot in my life and I am used to that behavior..so I am fine, trust me."

Katya "What do you mean? How could one get used to that?"

Hvitserk "Alright, let's go outside and enjoy this weather..shall we?" 

"Mm, yes. Ivar, is it warm out yet?"

Ivar "It is warming up, my love."

"Good! Let's go then-"

Igor "Are you alright?" You look down at the young man and you place your hand on his shoulder, and smile down at him.

"I am now, thank you for asking. Hey," you crouch to his level, "how would you like to pet a dragon?"

Igor "I can pet him?"

"Mhm. He is very kind and very gentle." 

Igor "Then I would love to!" 

"Okay, let's go see him then." He takes your hand and you thank Ivar with your eyes and he smiles at you with pure love. 

Hvitserk "Let's join her." Katya and Ivar nod and walk after you. Katya is in shock that her husband did that and she had no idea of that even occurring. Normally, he would brag about it to Katya to make her feel worthless but not last night. This was news to her and sad news at that. She has grown fond of you so to know that that happened, angers and saddens her. But thankfully, Ivar took care of it. He saved you. This time, he saved you.

…

Igor spent a good long while with Ryuu: bonding with him, pet his scales, he even got to hug his leg! He thanked you for that opportunity and hugged you for what felt like an eternity. A hug from a child or in this case, a young man, is a hug like no other. It brings you a joy that does not come from an adult or an elder. It makes you feel so good about yourself and it makes you feel a sense of adoration that no other age can offer. Hvitserk and Ivar watched as Igor clung to your waist with smiles on their faces. Knowing how wonderful of a mother you are going to be. 

Katya "Alright, young Prince..let her breathe now.."

Igor "Oop, sorry!"

"No need to be sorry! I love your hugs!" He smiles and you kiss Ryuu's snout as a 'good boy' because Igor and Katya do not know that you can communicate with your dragon(s). So with that kiss, he knew that he was a good boy. Then suddenly, a bell was rung and everyone was meant to gather around to watch the play.

Igor "Bye Ryuu!" He said as he ran to the front yard. You all giggle at how cute that whole encounter was. 

Katya "How did you train him to be so..tamed?"

"I raised him. I got him along with two of his siblings. They were given to me for my 20th birthday. Ever since then, I have raised them and cared for them. Along with Ivar and Hvitserk."

Katya "You raised dragons?" She looked at Ivar.

Ivar chuckles, "She is giving me too much credit. When I met them, they were very little, but not quite babies. I simply helped feed them and cared for them. Y/n did all of the hard stuff."

Katya nods, "Well, you are an incredible woman Y/n. You should be proud of all of your achievements."

"Thank you, Katya. That means a lot to me." She smiles and she continues to walk with the three of us to the front yard to join the people of Kiev.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the play began, everything was normal and simple. Very complex and artistic play that was very amusing. That is until Prince Oleg called his wife down to join him for a skit. She hesitated for a minute and then gave into his need because he gave her the 'look'. 

"Oh gods, what is he going to do to her?"

Ivar "Nothing bad, I am sure of it."

"If he starts, he is going to become ashes.."

Hvitserk "Shh, kitten. He's not going to hurt his own wife." Ivar looks at him and then he remembers that Oleg killed his first wife. One of the reasons why him and Ivar bonded was because Ivar did the same thing and Prince Oleg admired that, for some sickening reason that Hvitserk could never comprehend. 

Hvitserk "Nevermind..just relax Y/n. Katya is strong, like you. She can handle her own." You don't respond, you only keep an eye on her and his movements. 

Prince Oleg began to talk his nonsense and started to dance with her. It was sort of beautiful to watch two lovers dance before your eyes. Your nerves calmed down quite a bit, however, that was only for a split second. Prince Oleg switched like a light switch on a wall, and pinned her to the ground. You look over at Ivar and he does not move, his emotions just change. 

Hvitserk "What the hell.." Hvitserk could not finish before Prince Oleg undressed his wife in front of everyone in Kiev and used her to please himself. You had to get up and walk away because she was screaming in agony, not ecstacy. Hvitserk follows you but Ivar stays to watch. 

Hvitserk "Are you alright?"

"Flashbacks..I'll be fine I just need to catch my breath."

Hvitserk "Hey, shh shh shh..I've got you." He holds you close and walks you far enough away from the yard to where you could not hear Katya no longer.

"I want to kill that man."

Hvitserk "You cannot kill him, Y/n. If you could, I would help you..but we cannot."

"He deserves it after what he is doing to her. He is humiliating her, torturing her, using her-"

Hvitserk "I kn-"

"How can I stand there and watch a woman go through what I went through? What can I do to help her?"

Hvitserk "I do not know, kitten. He is the king-"

"And I am a queen."

Hvitserk "Yes you are, but you are not in Kattegat. You are in his kingdom."

"His kingdom..we'll see about that." You push your way through Hvitserk and rush your way through the crowd that is dancing around Prince Oleg and Katya. He is still using her when you push him off of her. When he is on the ground, you help your friend off of the ground and hurriedly get her covered up. When she is covered up, she punches her husband so hard in the mouth that his lip spits. You pull her back and she just bursts out crying on your arms, almost pushing you over because you are so off-balance being as pregnant as you are.

Prince Oleg "How dare you defy me?!"

"How dare you do this to your wife?! How dare you use her like your slave? How dare you humiliate her in front of her people? You should be ashamed of yourself." He is speechless. You walk her through the ground when all of a sudden, you hear women start to cheer for you. Cheering for your bravery and your strength to stand up for women like you did. When you look around you, you find Ivar standing up and clapping for you. He mouths, "I am so proud of you." You just smile and continue on walking Katya back to the palace. 

…

When she gets in, she stops you and hugs you so tight that you can barely breathe. You just hold onto her as you ride out the emotions with her.

"I could not let him do that to you any longer. You did not deserve, nor will you ever deserve to be treated in such a way."

Katya "I am used to it. But this, this was the first."

"I am used to it as well."

Katya "Ivar-"

"No no, never Ivar. For a long time, it was my own father, then it was another king who took me from Kattegat and tortured me for many days. So yes, I know how you felt. How you feel right now."

Katya "What did you do?"

"Well, for a while, I just took it. But when I found Ivar, he gave me the strength to do what needed to be done."

Katya "Tell me what you did."

"The king that tortured me in my own father's dungeon...was burned to ashes as he stood. And for my father, well...he ended up with the same fate."

Katya "Oh my gods.."

"Men like them should not be allowed to continue."

Katya nods, "I will take care of him. When I am strong enough. But as of right now, I am in a lot of pain, I am going to take a shower. Y/n, thank you so much for what you did back there. I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"There is no need. I am glad that I was there to help you. Go on now, but remember to take it easy."

Katya "I will, I will see you when I can." You nod and when she is out of your sight, you walk your way to a chair that is the closest to you and collapse on it. 

Ivar "My love, are you alright?" He shouts when he finds you sitting there.

"Fine, just fine."

Ivar "You always amaze me, my love. You are stronger than I am."

"I just stand up for what is right. I could not allow him-"

Prince Oleg "How dare you?!"

"Me? How dare you?" Hvitserk and Ivar stand in front of you to guard you from Prince Oleg.

Hvitserk "Back up!"

Prince Oleg "How dare you interrupt me!? I was almost finished, you know!"

"Ivar.."

Ivar takes a few steps forward and gets in Oleg's face, "I know why you did that to Katya, Prince Oleg."

Prince Oleg "Oh..?"

Ivar "You did not get my wife last night so you used your wife instead." He does not answer, only smirks. "I bet, you imagined fucking my wife..didn't you?" He chuckles, "That is all of the validation that I need. My love, we are leaving now."

"But Katya, how can I leave her?"

Ivar "I care about your life and your safety, not hers. We need to leave."

Hvitserk "Ivar is right."

"I need to say goodbye, keep him out of her room." They both nod and keep an eye on you as you rush into her room. She is still in the shower but you do not care. You hug her and whisper in her ear, "I have to go, my friend. I am not safe here any longer, but I need to tell you something. If you ever feel unsafe, please come to my home. You are always welcome and you are more than welcome to stay for as long as you need. Please, take up for yourself, dear friend..be safe."

Katya "Thank you, I will." You rush out and take your husband's hand and rush out of the palace.

Prince Oleg "Please do return soon! You are always welcome in my home, Y/n." Hvitserk helps you up on Ryuu and Ivar gets in his carriage. 

Ivar "Do not expect to hear from me or any of us, ever again.."

Prince Oleg "Oh do not be like this, Ivar! You are my friend."

Ivar "I was, not anymore. You stay away from my family." He strikes his horse once Hvitserk is mounted on his horse and you lift off on Ryuu. Gladly heading home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The journey home felt like it took forever. Your energy is completely spent and your body hurts from the lack of sleep. All you can think about is being home with Ivar and Hvitserk and seeing Ubbe and Torvi. Then you realize that you were supposed to stay for a week! A week in that kingdom! All you know is that Ubbe is definitely going to ask questions but you are honestly dreading answering them. Hopefully Ivar will do the answering for you so that you can rest. Hvitserk can sense your exhaustion and just wants to make you feel better and at ease. Hopefully once you are home, you will feel ease. 

Neith and Eldr fly up in the air to greet you and Ryuu. You swear that your dragons are just as needy as toddlers even though they are massive in size. 

"Hi, my loves. You have been good, I hope." Ryuu lands and you use his wing to get down gently. Ubbe is already by your side as soon as you look up from the ground. 

Ubbe "Hey sis..why are you-"

"Long story. Maybe ask Ivar or Hvitserk what all went down in Kiev but I am so glad to see you." He pulls you into his arms and holds you for what feels like hours. His brotherly love is what you missed and what you needed. 

Ubbe "Are you alright? You seem sad, Y/n."

"I am just glad to be home, where is Torvi?"

Ubbe "She is inside, feeding the kids." Ivar and Hvitserk ride up and you hug Ubbe one more time before going inside to search for Torvi. Your people stop you of course, telling you that they are happy to see you but questioning why you are back so early. You inform them that everything is fine but we all just needed to come home. They did not question any further and let you get inside. You find Torvi in no time at all but her daughter runs to you first. 

"Y/N!!" She runs to you and you pick her up in your arms. 

"Hi my lovebug!" 

"You are home early!"

"We are! We all just missed you so much."

Torvi "Alright, you are hogging her..it's my turn." She takes her daughter from your arms and places her back down to the ground. You get choked up once you are in her embrace but you knock yourself out of it. "Are you okay?" She whispered to you.

"I am now." 

Torvi "What has happened? You all were supposed to stay a week, maybe even longer."

"It is a long story. But we needed to get home."

Torvi "Well, whenever you are ready to tell me, I am all ears."

"Okay, I love you."

Torvi "I love you too. I am glad that you are home." 

"Me too." Soon enough, Ivar and Hvitserk come in with Ubbe and Ubbe looks infuriated. You gather that one of them told him what Oleg has done to you and Katya. 

*CONTINUING ON A NEXT PAGE*

@hvitserkmarcosource @a-mess-of-fandoms @youbloodymadgenius @ivarsgoddess @heavenly1927 @saldelys @herestherealproblem

[morgemuffel]

MALEC. ➰ PROS & CONS TO MARRY YOU. (STAY WITH ME)

This story takes place between episode 3Bx16 & 3B17. Why does Alec suddenly thinks about getting married?

-> Alec creates a pro and contra list about whether he should propose to magnus or if it is too early etc. He confronts himself with his thoughts and fears, which had never been expressed loudly before. *(Part 3 of my series: our heart beats like one)

My vision is blurred and everything around me happens like in slow motion. I'm standing there like a fool and don't have the strength to move. My heart contracts as if it were crushed in someone's fist. The air is thin and Izzy had called Catarina Loss to help, when she heard my cries for help. I'm so mad at myself. "Magnus, Magnus, can you here me?" is the only thing I can say. Why didn't I see it coming? I'm still standing there as if rooted to the ground, too shocked to do anything meaningful. "Please, I'm right here" I continue talking, in the hope that he at least hears my voice. I had given Magnus a heart rhythm massage until Cat finally arrived after a felt eternity. Cat now kneels next to Magnus on the floor and holds her hands over his right clavicle and left chest muscle. Stand back" she commands. A blue cloud flows out of her palms, enveloping his lifeless body, and once again an electric shock of several thousand volts shot through his chest area to reactivate his heartbeat. "Come on, Magnus. Hang in there" Catarina screamed in panic as still nothing happened. "Catarina is he going to be all right?" I ask anxiously. Another electric shock. But Magnus, whose body had just shrugged like wild before, lay there now only calm and motionless. "I...I...Alec he's gone..." Cat sobs and looks at me in disbelief. I see the tears rolling over her blue face. I know that she has done everything in her power, because she doesn't even have the strength to maintain her glamour. I feel pure fear crawling up inside of me. No. No he can't be dead, he simply just can't be dead! I don't know how, but somehow my body starts moving again and I stumble uncoordinated and fall on the floor next to Magnus. Stay with me is the only thought that constantly wanders through my head and throbs like my own heartbeat in my head. I form my right hand into a ball and place the left hand over it to start another heart rhythm massage. I feel Cat's pitiful look on me, but she says nothing. I won't give up on him. Press twice per second, I know how it works, every shadowhunter knows the required frequency, but the longer I press the more the fear is taking over me and the more irregular my rhythm becomes. I repeat: "stay with me Magnus" to the beat of my pressure movement. I can't lose you, I just can't. "Stay with me Magnus" I taste something salty wet in my mouth and realize that it is my tears that flow over my face and is taking my sight. But I can't wipe them away. I don't have time to release my hands from Magnus. "Stay with me Magnus! I don't have to see anything to know that I can't stop, that I won't stop. "Stay with me Magnus!" I drift off and my body... Oh God as if I were in free fall... No. No. No. The darkness surrounds me and I am lost in nothing. My thoughts echo through the dark void. Our hearts beat like one and if his stop beating, mine dies with him. Magnus is dead.

Alec opens his eyes disorientated, he is bathed in sweat and his heart races as fast as it threatens to jump out of his chest. He looks around in fear and searched for Magnus. He is alive, it was all just a nightmare! At least the part about his death. Alec's subconscious had probably played a trick on him with his greatest fear. The fear of losing Magnus. How could this happen? Why had he not noticed the signs? Or had he noticed them and simply ignored them...? Alec is sitting on a very uncomfortable plastic chair, in the New York Institute in the Medic department, watching Magnus. His chest lifts and lowers gently to the beeping sound of the ECG device. His breathing is flat and slow but he is breathing. It is so unusual to see him uncombed and without make-up. In the blue coat he seemed almost inconspicuous and very vulnerable. Alec has been sitting on this chair for hours, he must have fallen asleep, he thinks, rubbing the palms of his hands against his face. He closes his eyes and the pictures reappear before his inner eye. With a shake of his head he tries to shake the pictures away. Yes, it was close but they had made it and Cat had set up everything right here to watch Magnus non-stop. A cold shiver ran down Alec's back as he tried to interpret his dream, it had felt so real. And he believed he knew what the message was behind it. He had to apologize to Magnus. Alec had a guilty conscience because he should have known how tortured his boyfriend really was. 

Alec interlaced his fingers and began to speak slowly: "Magnus, I... I don't know if you can here me. But this is my fault. I was selfish. When you first lost your powers and you said you were okay with it, I...I didn't think twice. I guess I was just so happy that maybe we could... grow old together." He took a break to breathe deeply. It was the first time he said it out loud. He was ashamed of that thought. He had asked himself several times whether he was a bad boyfriend because of that. He had talked to Underhill about this topic. But to say it out loud, to hear his voice, brought him the knowledge and thus the answer to his question. It had hurt him when Magnus had accepted Lorenzo's magic without talking to him about it. But Magnus magic was a part of him and he didn't have the right to begrudge him that. And he knew one thing for sure. To see Magnus happy was the only thing that really mattered. Alec's heart got heavier at this thought and he started rubbing his thumb over his ankles nervously. He tended to exert so much pressure on that movement that it almost hurt. But the pain there eased the pain in his heart. He sniffed before continuing: "I guess I just didn't realize, how deep down, how much you were suffering. Magnus, I love you. He reached for Magnus' hand, near the tears and his voice was now full of despair: "More than anyone in the world and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." He heard the sliding door open and quickly wiped away the one tear that had made it over his cheeks. "May I come in" Cat asked gently. "Yeah" Alec replied and stood up with a deep sigh to talk to Cat about Magnus' condition. "Did you manage to make contact with the people at the Spiral Labyrinth" he asked full of hope. She nodded, "yes, I shared the test results, an he agreed. Magnus' body is rejecting Lorenzo's magic. "Rejecting? What do you mean?" Alec asked and folded his arms in front of his chest. "Think of it like a failing organ transplant. Each time Magnus performs a spell it puts a tremendous strain on his body. He got lucky this time. He will regain consciousness . But if he uses magic again, even for something small, he might not survive," she explained to Alec in a haunting tone. "Why can't you just fix him? Why can't you just take Lorenzo's magic out?" Alec asks in surprise. "I wish I could. The only one who can reverse the transfer is the person who gave it to him" she explains. "Lorenzo did this on purpose," Alec hummed furiously. "Alec, there's no way he could have planned it. With magic transfusions, there's always this possibility." Cat tried to protect Lorenzo. But Alec disagreed. "No he knew how desperate Magnus was. He took advantage of him. I'm not gonna let this son of a bitch get away with it." he hissed upset and tried to squeeze past Cat. But Catarina grabbed him by the arm and held him tight when she said: "You need to settle down. What's the shadowhunter saying? - Emotions cloud judgment? - You loose your temper with Lorenzo, he'll have less incentive to help. Like it or not, Lorenzo Rey is Magnus only hope" she made clear to him.

On his way to Lorenzo's loft, Alec shook his head in disbelief. Had he really just thought that? He corrected the sentence in his mind. Magnus' Loft. He was on his way to Magnus' loft in Brooklyn that was stolen by this mucous guy Lorenzo Rey. Magnus hasn't woken up yet, so Alec had decided to ask Lorenzo to take back the magic he had given him. He was almost certain that this would also be Magnus' wish. Magnus' near death had shown Alec how precious time is. And he knew that he wanted to spend all his time also if only 10 years or even 60 years,  with Magnus at his side. Nothing was more precious than the time with him. When Magnus agreed to his suggestion to move in together, Alec was the happiest person ever. There was only something that could make him happier. To make Magnus his forever. Put a ring on his finger and call him his husband. There were many reasons for this, but he also knew that there were some contras. He started to write a pro and contra list in his head:

   PRO:  

- It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever

   CONS:  

- Magnus had just suffered some losses, his status symbol as High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken away from him and his loft, his home, was taken from him. These losses sparked a kind of identity crisis in him

I remember what it was like before Magnus. The time of uncertainty, fear and my own identity crisis. It was like my whole life was a lie, I was living a lie. It was before Jace, I had always known it. I'm not saying that I am different but in the eyes of others I am. All of us who don't fit into the over century formed norm are considered different. Growing up in a society that fears everything and everyone just because they don't understand it or know it differently and respond with hate is sad. The hate and fear that was directed against other races or against the preference of sexuality frightened me. I was afraid of this hate and took the safe side. The don't ask don't tell side of the shadowhunter culture. I preferred to be angry and unhappy than to deal with these feelings. On some days I feel ashamed not to have been brave enough before Magnus came into my life. To simply ignore the prejudices and discriminations and to stand by myself. But for shadowhunter - family, honour and tradition are written in capital letters. At least that's what they believe. And I certainly didn't want to be the first Shadowhunter in my family to destroy this supposed honor. Family is everything to me. Grown up in the institute under the enormous pressure of the council and my parents. I always did everything for my parents and for the council. My fater drilled in to me that I was never good enough. I always thought it was me, because they felt who I really was and wanted to suppress it. So I did the same and ignored my feelings. I was impure with myself and carried this anger inside me for years. I couldn't define exactly where it came from but I was always angry at everything and everyone. Not knowing who you are and not knowing where you belong is terrible. By the angel I'm so happy that I met Magnus.

"Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what's in your heart" he had told me back then. I thought I would never be allwed, or to even find somoen to marry out of love and the only thing I could hope for would be a solid partnership with a woman. But here I am, in a happy relationship with the man I love above everything else. I will do everything in my power to lead him back to his identity as he helped me. So pack up your hatred and discrimination. I alone decide how my life goes on.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, not that I would know." I hear Magnus' voice in my head.. We'll find out, my darling, we'll find out.

Alec circled the two reasons and tried to look at them from every angle. He was a man of tradition and honour and he always knew he wanted to get married one day. He just never would have thought that this wish could actually become reality with someone he loved with all his heart. But here he was and his boyfriend was Magnus Bane. He knew he would never love anyone as much as he loved Magnus. He also knew that a marriage is about being together for the rest of your life and that this same - a life long - was a different view for Magnus before. Magnus was no longer immortal and to ask for his hand now would painfully remind him of this loss. Alec wondered if it wouldn't be possible to ask Asmodeus to give Magnus back his real magic and thus his birthright, his immortality. What would be the price? For sure one that Alec can't pay at all. He sighed and began to walk faster. There was also the housing situation, he was at least able to fix. Cat had told him that Magnus had asked her for a real estate agent. But Magnus was in the infirmary and couldn't make it to that appointment today and Alec wouldn't leave his side for a house visit. The apartment could wait, but he was looking forward to starting this new phase of his life with Magnus. So it was 1 to 1 when he stood in front of the door of the loft and was about to knock, when it swung open and Mozart's symphony came towards him.

Lorenzo had already expected him, charming isn't? It's one of Mozart's lesser-known works, but certainly one of my favorites. You should have seen the look on Wolfgang's face when I told him what I really thought about his Mass in C minor," he bluffed to Alec. But Alec didn't have time for this small talk, they both knew that they would never be friends in this and possibly in any other life. "We need to talk" Alec said and tried to make his voice sound as calm and controlled as possible. "Hang on. This is the best part." He just wanted to provoke Alec, no they wouldn't even be friends in another dimension. Alec switched off the music to show him the urgency of his visit. "What can I do for you, Mr. Lightwood? he asks and takes a sip from his martini. "Magnus has fallen ill as a result of the magic you gave him" Alec told him. "I did warn your boyfriend of the risks involved. He assured me he could handle it" Lorenzo replied visibly unmoved. When he poured himself a second drink. "Well he can't. And I would appreciate if you would take the magic back." Alec said in a thoughtful tone. "Yes, I'm sure you would appreciate that. But he brought this upon himself. Not my fault the pompous old warlock falls by his own hubris." Lorenzo was amused by Magnus' pain and Alec knew that he had no intention of helping them. But why? "Why? Why do you hate him so much? he asked without understanding. "It's simple. All my life, I've had to sit by and watch while the world lavished praise on Magnus Bane. The prodigy. The High Warlock who could do no wrong." Lorenzo said bitterly. So that's it Alec thought, he was insecure and jealous. "Green isn't becoming on you, Lorenzo," he simply stated. "You have no idea how hard I've had to work for everything that I have" he hissed and put his glass down. Before he continued. "That man was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His celebrity is not based on talent. It's nepotism. Alec felt the rage crawling up in him and with each of Lorenzo's words it was harder to suppress them. "Lorenzo, you're right about one thing. Magnus is beloved. And when word gets out that you wouldn't help him, purely out of jealousy, how would you think the other warlocks are gonna feel?" Alec said as he walked up to Lorenzo to underline the threat in his voice. But Lorenzo remained unimpressed and said: "I guess we'll find out, won't we?" The fuse in Alec's head blew, how could this cockroach even dare. He would have loved to go for Lorenzo. "You bastard. I swear, I will..." But Lorenzo interrupted him annoyed. "You'll what? he asked unimpressed and shot Alec with a clenched load of his magic towards the exit. "I believe we're done here. You can show yourself out." Alec knew that his last visit by Lorenzo was also part of Lorenzo's rage against Magnus. Anger, anger didn't get him any further, he had to convince Lorenzo at all costs. Magnus' life was at stake and he would beg on his knees if he had to.

"You've never been in love, have you?" Alec asked desperately. Lorenzo must have loved someone at least once in all those years. Alec had to remind him. "I'm over 300 years old. Of course I have. More times than I care to admit" Lorenzo said cool. Alec saw his chance and slowly walked towards Lorenzo again. "Well, for me, it's only one. Magnus," he said and looked at Lorenzo as he went on. "He is my world. And if he dies..." Alec sobbed, who now found it hard to keep his feelings under control. He didn't care if Lorenzo saw him that way, saw him the Head of the New York Institute so vulnerable. He didn't care if he ridiculed himself and he didn't care that he just revealed his greatest weakness. Alec raised his hand to a defensive position when he said, "Look, Lorenzo, he's no threat to you. Okay? He doesn't have his powers." His eyes filled with water and a tear ran down his face as he begged Lorenzo. "Just please... Please help him"

Alec left the loft with Lorenzo's word to help Magnus. A cool breeze blew in his face and dried his last tears. The heated conversation had given him two more points on his imaginary list. To show oneself so vulnerable to someone and to reveal oneself. Showing oneself as one in front of two different worlds, a unity that nothing and nobody could destroy.

   PRO:  

- Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days

   CONS:  

- The Clave doesn't like to see Shadowhunters and Downworlders getting married. It's not forbidden, but since The Clave is mainly interested in making more shadowhunters, it's a bit frowned upon to marry a warlock or a vampire, because they can't have children.

Even though deep inside I always knew that I was gay, I had always imagined a family with children. I could have imagined them with Lydia too, even though the thought of having sex with her made me freak out a little. Lydia is great but still a woman. Maybe the Clave would agree to an adoption for a Shadowhunter or a Downworlder baby? The Mundane couples have to be married as far as I know if they want to adopt... Would an adopted child even like me? With Madzie it's always wonderful and children love Magnus anyway. But maybe Madzie was a exception. Well they'll like at least one of us. So the biggest problem would be the Clave. For whom I'm already a thorn in their eyes, the gay head of the New York Institute, who is in a relationship with a Downworlder. So what, fuck that point. I really hope that Magnus also wants children. I think he's born to be a dad. He has so much patience and love to give. He has travelled so many countries and lived through so many decades, he would certainly have great good night stories. Him and I as parents, who could teach our children love and tolerance. To pass on our views and values and to show the world that there is another way. That diffrent doesn't mean weird or wrong, but that the world view is outdated and wrong. And it's on us to start change that.

The Clave always had such weird rules. In the past, Alec wouldn't have noticed the inconsistencies. He obeyed orders blindly without questioning them. But now, why did they make rules they disapproved anyway? And have they ever thought that two same-sex shadowhunters and downworlder would want to get married? Because Alec didn't know if that was possible at all. But he knew something else, no matter how, he and Magnus would one day start a family together. Alec had never asked Magnus if he wanted to have children, but somehow it was a logical step, wasn't it? Or was Alec once again too far with his thoughts and wishes? He was walking past a playground and saw all the Mundane mothers playing with their toddlers. A dream he had dreamed so many times, before meeting Magnus. Changing his children's nappies, teaching them to walk and fight and attending their first shadowhunter rune ceremony. All those things, those kitschy things he had wished for were not graspable before Magnus, but now. Now he suddenly had the chance to make all his dreams become real, with the man of his dreams. And before any of this could come true, Magnus had to wake up. He increased his pace again because he wanted to be the first thing for Magnus to see when he opened his eyes.

Alec was sitting on the uncomfortable chair in the institute again, his butt was slowly strating to hurt but he didn't care. He saw Magnus' eyelashes start to twitch. "Magnus, can you hear me" Alec asks. Magnus blinks and slowly opens his eyes. "There you are. Hey," Alec said pleased. Magnus is still a little confused and Alec gently turns his head with his two fingers in his direction. Magnus chuckles when he sees Alec. "There you are" Magnus repeats and pats gently and awkwardly Alec's cheeks. "Yeah" Alec replies smiling. "What happened?" Magnus asked, still slightly dazed. Alec tried to explain it to him as simple and gently as possible. "Oh, well you got very sick. But everything's gonna be okay." Magnus tried to sit up and Alec got up quickly to help him. Just hold on. Here, let me get that for you." Alec said lovingly. Magnus tried to play the whole situation down again when he joked: "Oh I could get used to this type of treatment. Oh but definitely not to this wardrobe." Alec realized that Magnus wasn't aware of how serious the whole thing was. "Right. Let me get you a change of clothes" he said and wanted to get going. "No, no need" Magnus said and raised his hand to use his magic. "No!" Alec screamed full of panic and healed Magnus' hand so that he couldn't use his magic. "Alexander, what..." Magnus began irritated as his gaze wandered to the door and he noticed Lorenzo. "What's he doing here?" he asked even more astonished. Alec took a deep breath to explain everything to Magnus: "Using Lorenzo's magic is what got you sick. Catarina says that if you use the magic again, even a little bit, it could go horribly wrong. The only way for you to get better is for Lorenzo to take the magic away." He looked away at Magnus and hoped to see an understanding for all this in his eyes but Magnus only replied: "Oh. No, Caterina's just being overly cautious. Trust me, I feel fine." Alec should have known it. Of course, Magnus wasn't aware of how narrowly he escaped death. He had to tell him everything. "No. can we just get a minute, please?" he said and looked at Lorenzo, who had only observed the whole situation pitifully. "No! I'm not getting rid of my magic. Magnus screamed angrily. Why was he so stubborn? Alec had to make him understand how dangerous it was to leave the magic in his body. He didn't want his nightmare to suddenly become reality.

Magnus got up angrily and went for his clothes himself, he stood demonstratively with his back to Alec. But Alec just stood quietly next to him and waited until he had dressed before telling him exactly what had happened. He wasn't sure if Magnus was just pretending he didn't realize how dangerous this magic was for him. "Magnus, you stopped breathing." Alec began. "Your heart stopped. I thought you were gone." Magnus's anger vanished slowly. He hadn't know it had been so bad. "I'm so sorry for scaring you. I was clearly adjusting to Lorenzo's magic and I must have overextended myself." He turned to Alec with a smile to show him he was serious: "I promise, I'll be more careful from now on," he said before returning his attention to his shirt. "It doesn't matter how careful you are. As long as you have Lorenzo's magic, you'll be living with an axe over your head" Alec contradicted. What was wrong with Magnus? "Oh, could you stop being so morbid?" Magnus said when he turned back to Alec. The two men clearly talked past each other. "Look, I know how important magic is to you, but is it really worth dying for it?" Alec tried again. But Magnus didn't answer. "Magnus, answer me." Alec asked again with insistence and full of fear of the answer. Magnus said "Maybe" without turning around and Alec was stunned. "How can you even say that? Alec asked. Magnus now looked at him again and Alec saw the anger, the self-hatred and the fear in his eyes when he said: "I'm nothing without my magic. "You fell in love with Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?

Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?" he asked in disbelief and disgust as he pointed to his body. Alec was slowly getting desperate, he had to convince Magnus that he loved him even without his magic. "Yes. Your powers were incredible, but that's not why I felt in love with you. I..I..fell in love with you because you're wise a..and you're generous and you're brave and you're incredible" Alec stammered. The feelings overcame him, why couldn't Magnus see it? Why didn't he see how unbelievable he was? Alec continued: "I just... When you walk into a room, there's a spark in you, magic or not, th..tha..that lights up everything and everyone around you. "A..aaa..and... Hey!" he grabbed Magnus by the arm who was about to turn away. Alec didn't know what to say anymore. He only knew one thing he couldn't live without Magnus! When Magnus looked at him again Alec said desperately the last thing he still knew: "I won't lose you. I can't." The room was tense and they just looked at each other. And finally Alec saw it in Magnus' eyes. He got through to Magnus.

When Lorenzo left the room after the withdrawal of the magic, of course not without clarifying that he would keep the loft. Alec noted down his last two pros and cons.

   PRO:  

- I love him

   CONS:  

- Magnus would rather die than live without his magic

The last two reasons he noted down were the ones that weighed most heavily on him. So he sorted the list in his head again and prioritized these last two reasons. He loved Magnus more than anything else there was no doubt. But Magnus wasn't sure if he could live on without his magic or if he wanted to. Alec hears the echo of his words in his head, again and again: "I am nothing without my magic."

Yet I don't understand it. I thought I understood it, how dependent Magnus is on his magic. That I understand his pain. But I'm not a warlock and no matter how hard I try I will never fully understand what Magnus is going through. I keep trying to compare it with the Parabatai bond of me and Jace. If Jace died in a fight, I would feel incomplete and like a stanger a nobody without this bond. A part of me would die and be lost forever. And yet I would never prefer my own death than a life with Magnus. At least I hoped that this thought was true.

This thought ignited the little hope he needed. The hope that Magnus didn't mean it as seriously as he had said it before. That deep down inside his love for Alec was stronger. So it was 3 to 3, equal. No matter how often he went through the list he came to a single decision.

   PRO:  

   - I love him  

   - It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever  

   Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days  

   CONS:  

   - Magnus would rather die than live without his magic  

   - Magnus had just suffered some losses, his status symbol as High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken away from him and his loft, his home, was taken from him. These losses sparked a kind of identity crisis in him  

   - The Clave doesn't like to see Shadowhunters and Downworlders getting married. It's not forbidden, but since The Clave is mainly interested in making more shadowhunters, it's a bit frowned upon to marry a warlock or a vampire, because they can't have children 

It didn't matter what was on the contra side of his list, as long as his love for Magnus was at the top of the pro side. He loved Magnus and that outdid all other reasons."I have everything I need, right here." Magnus had said it aptly. And this one reason was the most important one. And therefore he, Alexander Gideon Lightwood would ask Magnus Bane to marry him.

Alec looked through the window of the small library his mother had bought and took a deep breath. On the way there two pros and contras came to his mind. He didn't put them on the list because his decision had already been made but they were still haunting around in his head.

    PRO:  

- He'd have my last name, Magnus Lightwood-Bane

   CONS:  

- He could say no, and I would completely embarrass myself

I think everyone is a bit afraid of this scenario when planning a proposal. Even though I know that Magnus loves me, there is a risk that he will reject my proposal. It could be one of my reasons on the contra column or a completely different one and I think I wouldn't only be sad but it would also be really embarrassing for me. Embarrassing because I'm so impatient, but who doesn't dare doesn't win. And therefore I won't initiate everybody in what I intend to do and try to plan the whole thing in a small scale if not even alone. Hiding it from Jace will probably be the hardest, as he will feel my nervousness for sure, so if he asks me I'll just tell him. Maybe for once he even has a good tip for me. Or could tell me if Alec Bane sounds silly?

Alec opens the door and enters the book store. "Hi" he said and walks to greet his mother. Maryse turns to him and smiles as she greets him: "Alec. What a nice surprise! The two embrace and Alec looks around as he says, "I thought I'd actually stop by and see the place." "Im proud of you." Most of the shelves were already dusty and the books had been rearranged. "Thanks. It's really coming together, isn't it? Maryse said radiantly. Alec was a bit nervous and answered with a question. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about." he burst out. Maryse looked at him uncertainly and tried to interpret his face. "What is it?" she asked, worried. The two sat down when Alec began to tell her: "Uhm..Magnus had a little health scare." Maryse was shocked but Alec spoke quickly. "He's okay, everything's fine, but when it happened, it made me realize how much he means to me, and I.. I.. can't live without him." This sentence made his mother overjoyed. She was so happy that her son found someone who loved him heart and soul just as much as he loved him. What could make a mother happier? "That's what love is" she said with a smile. Alec chuckles. "I'm so happy you two found each other." she said. "Me too." Alec said sheepishly. The question burned on his tongue as he slowly began.

"And I need the family ring." he said and looked at her insistently. Maryse stared back not sure if her son really intended what she was thinking he was intended to say. "I'm gonna ask Magnus to marry me." Alec said after a break and Maryse chuchles overwhelmed. Yes she had thought right. She couldn't believe it and jumped up to pull her son into an intimate embrace. Her son is actually getting married!

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Twenty-Five: Only Ours

Chapter Twenty-Four

Word Count 3.7k

Warnings: slight angst, lots of fluff

When you woke up, Ivar was still fast asleep. You were still laying on his chest, as if you haven't moved all night long. His hand rests on your lower back and his other arm is resting on his chest, with his hand intertwined with yours. You smile from ear to ear because this feeling is the best feeling in the entire world to you. Just being in your husband's arms, no distractions, just you and him. You start to outline his tattoos with your finger tip. His skin is so soft yet rough. His tattoos are engraved in his chest in such a way that they are almost scar like but aren't. His nose and mouth start to wiggle and his eyes start to flutter. You take this moment to kiss his chest all of the way up to his lips. When you reach his lips, you linger there for a moment. And by a moment, I mean that you stayed there until he completely woke up. He feels your lips on his own and smiles at the feeling. He grabs the back of your head to push you more into him, to which you chuckle. You are completely obsessed with him and you get the feeling that he is obsessed with you as well. He sighs in your mouth when you leave him wanting more. 

Ivar "What did I do to deserve that, princess?"

"Mm I don't know. Just felt like kissing my handsome husband."

Ivar chuckles, "Well I am glad that my goddess of a wife kissed me." He leans in once more, capturing you in a loving kiss. When he pulls back, he takes in your features with a smile. He rubs your cheek with his thumb while you look deep into his eyes. 

Ivar "So beautiful." He whispers.

"Thank you, my love. As are you."

Ivar "Mmm you are way more beautiful than me, my sweet."

"I do not think so. Especially not right now."

Ivar scowls, "Why do you say that?"

"You know why, Ivar."

Ivar "No I do not. Because to me, I see perfection." You sigh loudly and get out of bed. Your body is exposed to him and he takes you in. 

"How is this beautiful?" He pointed out all of your scars and battle wounds. 

Ivar "You are Y/n. Absolutely perfect. Your scars are beautiful, not ugly nor are they something to be ashamed of."

"I am. Only because every time I look into the mirror, I see what I do not wish to see. It is like a constant reminder of my days of torment."

Ivar sits up and gives you his hands for you to take, which you do.

Ivar "I know, sweetheart. I know that you feel this way now but as time goes on, you will feel better. I promise."

"What of our daughter? She is going to see all of my-"

Ivar "Yes she will. But she is going to see courage and strength..power not failure. She is going to see how strong her mother is and realize all that you have endured to be here today."

"I hope that you are right."

Ivar "I am sweetheart. Please do not be sad. I hate to see you sad. You did not wake up this way."

"I know...It is just..when you called me a goddess I thought of these," you point to the scars on your chest, "and felt ashamed."

Ivar "Oh Y/n..they are not to be ashamed of. Allow them to make you feel strong, not ashamed. Because that is what you are, you are so strong."

"I love you Ivar."

Ivar "And I love you. Now, let me see that beautiful smile of yours huh?" You genuinely smile when he asks because he is being such a sweetheart.  His eyes form heart eyes when you do and he cups your face, kisses your forehead and then your lips.

Ivar "Okay. If you do not get dressed right now, I do not know how much longer I will be able to contain myself…"

You chuckle, "I am sorry, my king."

"No, do not apologize for being beautiful. I just know that you are not ready for anything of that nature yet, my sweet."

"I know what you meant. I love you so much." You kiss him and then walk away to put on a loose dress. Ivar gets dressed as well and waits for you to be finished. When you walk out, like always he has a grin on his face. He offers you his arm and you take it immediately. 

Ivar "You remember our plans for the day, yes?"

"Oh yes. I am very excited. What time should we leave?"

Ivar "Not right away. We can eat and relax before we go out for the day. I do not want today to be a rush."

"Sounds wonderful."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you walk out, just like every morning, Ubbe and Torvi walk over to you and give you a big hug. It never gets old: feeling their love and acceptance of you. 

Torvi "You look so happy this morning! What is the occasion?"

"Oh, Ivar and I are planning on spending the day outdoors today!" 

Ubbe "Oh really?"

Ivar "Yes, I feel like it will be good for the both of us to just get some air." 

Torvi "I think that sounds lovely."

"So do I. I am looking forward to it."

Ubbe "And when are you coming back?"

Ivar "When we feel like it, Ubbe. We will also be taking the dragon's."

Ubbe "Oh that is good!"

"Yes! They will be close above while we ride on the ground."

Torvi "Will you be taking some guardsmen?"

Ivar "ehh I'm not sure about that. We would like it to be just us, you understand."

Torvi "Oh I do. Come..let's eat together before you two set out." She takes your hand and walks you to the table where you sit next to her and wait for the maiden's to come out with your food. 

"Why hasn't Hvitserk come out of his chamber's yet? Isn't he always the first to come out?"

Torvi "Yes, I do not know. Perhaps he just needed to sleep in." You slowly nod.

…

Ivar "Do you think that I am being a fool, Ubbe...hmm?"

Ubbe "No not at all. It was just a shock, giving the circumstances that we are all in."

Ivar "I recall that we are the one's attacking Wessex...not the other way around."

Ubbe "That is true. But we do not know what her father is planning, Ivar. I just want us all to stay safe and together, that is all."

Ivar "I understand that Ubbe, and I want the same as you. But Y/n needs the break from reality right now. You do not know how she is feeling brother. I do."

Ubbe "Then tell me. I am here for the both of you Ivar. You are my brother and that makes Y/n my sister-in-law. I care about her a great deal." Ivar sighs and takes a deep breath. He gestures for Ubbe to come and follow him to his chamber's. Once the door is closed, Ivar explains to him of you and his morning.

Ivar "I mean she was so happy and then it was like a switch went off in her mind and she...she felt so sad so quickly."

Ubbe "We all knew that this event would change her.."

Ivar "I wish that it did not happen at all Ubbe."

Ubbe "As do I."

Ivar "And now..she hates herself Ubbe. Like is completely ashamed of her own skin."

Ubbe "Because..?"

Ivar "Of her scars. Harald scared her up pretty well."

Ubbe "That bastard!" He shouted. 

Ivar "We should have killed him a long time brother. If we had, none of this would have happened."

Ubbe "As much as I agree about King Harald, I do fear that her father would have retaliated in the near future. He is a terrible person and an even worse father. So yes, King Harald's actions would have been prevented, her father's actions would have not."

Ivar agrees, "I do not understand what his problem is with his only daughter. She is so special...so gentle and kind. Why does he treat her so horribly?"

Ubbe "Because he fears her."

Ivar "What do you mean?"

Ubbe "He fears her retaliation, Ivar. She is the one with the dragon's. She is the one that is married to a viking king..with viking brother's. He knows our history, our families history."

Ivar "Yes but that is not an excuse for her childhood."

Ubbe "That is true. I did not know her back then. Neither of us did. So I cannot say why he treated her in such a way that left her so scared."

Ivar "Me neither. Let's just go join our wives, hmm? I am sure that they are wondering where we have gone."

Ubbe "Hey…" he stops Ivar in his tracks, "thank you for telling me. I hope that I helped in some way."

Ivar softly smiles, "You did Ubbe. Your opinion always matters to me, you know that." Ubbe nods and lets Ivar walk out the door. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Ivar joins the table, you all get to eat together. It was so lovely. The only person that was missing was Hvitserk. You wonder why he has not left his chambers but you try to focus on your meal and the family around you then worry.  

Ivar "Are you ready, my sweet?"

"Mm yes. Let's go get our fur and then we can go." When you and Ivar are all ready to go, the last thing to do is get your dragons. Ivar opens the door at the same time that Hvitserk does. When Hvitserk comes out of his chambers, he looks absolutely exhausted. 

"Hvitserk?" He looks down at you and forces a smile. 

Hvitserk "Oh good morning, princess."

Ivar "It is midday, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "Is it really?"

You nod, "You missed breakfast. Are you alright?"

Hvitserk "Fine..just fine. Where are you two off to?"

Ivar "I am taking Y/n for a ride today. Get some air."

Hvitserk "Oh alright. Stay safe, yes?"

Ivar "Yes of course. Come on, my love. The day awaits." He takes your hand and walks you both outside. You can't get the sight of Hvitserk's state out of your head. His eyes were blackened from the lack of sleep, his breath smelled of ale and his clothes were wrinkled. Ivar could tell that you were a little out of it once you both reached your dragon's, so he stopped and looked at you. 

"What?"

Ivar "I know you, sweetheart. Sometimes more than you do."

"I-I am sorry. But how can I not be worried?"

Ivar "He gets this way sometimes Y/n. We all have our bad days...our own demons. He just struggled last night with his own. He will be alright."

"Okay."

Ivar "Look at them," he turns your face so that you look at your babies, "look how happy they are to see you. They don't wish for you to worry."

"I am no longer. Come on, let's go get the horse." You walk over to retrieve Ivar's horse and carriage. Ivar watches you get his black horse and looks up at Ryuu, who is sniffing his being.

Ivar chuckles, "Hey boy," he pats his snout, "you excited to fly today, hmm?" Ryuu squeaks and starts to ready his wings for the trip. Ivar loves your dragons just as much as you do and it shows. You watch your husband in awe. You stop the horse and wait for Ivar to notice you. 

"Are you ready, my king?" He looks up at you, sitting in his carriage. 

Ivar "Oh I am, my sweetheart," he says, slowly joining you. "I know of a beautiful place to take you." Once Ivar commands the horse to go, all you have to do is look at your dragons and they know what to do. They shake the ground around them when they leap off of the ground. Their bodies are so strong and powerful. You still feel like it is a long dream that you are in, having your dragons and Ivar by your side. It feels like a wonderful dream but in fact it is real. 

…

When Ubbe sees his brother in such a state, he knows that something is terribly wrong. Hvitserk has not been this hungover since he lost Thora. So as his brother, he pulled Hvitserk to the side to have a chat.

Hvitserk "Get off of me!" He tries to yank his arm out of Ubbe's grasp but it is no use. 

Ubbe "Stop fighting me, brother!" He forces Hvitserk onto his bed so that he can speak to him privately. 

Ubbe "Now, are you going to tell me what happened last night?"

Hvitserk "You wouldn't understand."

Ubbe "Oh I wouldn't?" Hvitserk looks up at him, knowing that he was being sarcastic. 

Hvitserk sighs, "Its Y/n."

Ubbe "What of her?"

Hvitserk "I had a vision. Ivar beat her, Ubbe."

Ubbe "Do you know why?"

Hvitserk "No..that was unclear to me. In the vision, she just came running to me..screaming that Ivar hit her."

Ubbe sits down next to him and sighs, "How far away is this?"

Hvitserk "She was heavily pregnant. So we have a while before it happens."

Ubbe "It's not going to happen, brother. Sometimes visions do not come true. Sometimes they are just your mind playing tricks on you. And last night, you were worried about her because Ivar was drunk, am I right?"

Hvitserk "Yes."

Ubbe "So that means that you were already fearing that Ivar might do something that he would not recollect in the morning, right?"

Hvitserk slowly nods, "Yes.."

Ubbe "So do not worry Hvitserk. I do not think that this vision was sent from the gods."

Hvitserk "And if you are wrong?"

Ubbe "Well we will deal with that if it happens. But do not fret, Hvitserk. Ivar and her are fine..more than that."

Hvitserk "Yes.." Ubbe grabs the back of his brother's head and rests his forehead on his.

Ubbe "Do not worry, dear brother. Things are fine. And once this battle is won, we will all live a stress free life, hmm? Your daughter will be born, healthy and beautiful. You and Y/n will raise her to be a strong shield maiden, yes?"

Hvitserk smiles, "Yes."

Ubbe "Good."

Hvitserk "Thank you, Ubbe."

Ubbe "Of course. Now, get yourself cleaned up and go get some food in you." Hvitserk agrees. His brother is right, he just needs to stop worrying so much. And just be grateful for the here and now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You lean on his shoulder, taking in the scenery around you. The world is white from the snowfall that came over Kattegat as you all slept. The tree branches are sagging from the inch of snow that is on them. Your dragons are flying high above you. The sound of their wings flapping in the wind, is like music to your ears. Ivar looks down at your face on his shoulder and kisses your nose abruptly. Snapping you out of your little trance. 

Ivar "Your little nose is red from the cold, princess."

"Is it really?" You touch your nose and feel its cold skin on your fingertips. 

Ivar chuckles, "You are too much." 

"I am?"

Ivar "Yes! You are too adorable for me sometimes. I mean how can I focus on controlling the horse while you are resting on my shoulder, huh?!" You blush and lean into his side. 

"Hmm. I really needed this, Ivar."

Ivar "So did I, my love. We really needed this time together."

"Yes we did. Y'know while I was in that dungeon, I kept thinking of you. And hoping that that wasn't going to be the last time I saw you." 

Ivar "Oh sweetheart.."

"It is the truth. I never gave up hope that you would find me. I only feared that it would have been a little too late."

Ivar "But I was not late. And I have you back." He leans down and kisses your lips quickly before tending his attention back to the horse. 

"I know. I thank the gods everyday for you and for this life that you gave me."

Ivar "I only give you what you truly deserve, my sweetheart. You deserve love and happiness, not hate and torture. So yes, when I saw you in my dream...before we met...I knew that you were my person. The gods showed me you for a reason and that reason was clear the moment you walked through my door."

"Oh Ivar, I love you so much."

Ivar "And I love you Y/n. We are almost there.."

"And where is 'there'?"

Ivar "You will see."  He focused on the horse and his pace, while you relaxed and focused on your babies above you and the world around you. The crunch of the snow below the wheels of the carriage and the hooves of the horse. It is so peaceful, a peace that you needed today. More than you knew, you think to yourself. It is a crazy feeling, peace. When all you know is chaos, it is nice to feel peace and serenity for a change. And to feel this sense with your husband, is an even greater bliss. Out of nowhere, Ivar stops the horse and looks down at you.

Ivar "Close your eyes, princess."

You snicker, "really?"

Ivar "Mhmm. Now close them." Once you do, he kisses your lips softly and then the horse starts pulling you two again. 

"Why are my eyes closed?"

Ivar "Because I want this spot to be special..I want you to see its beauty all at once. So keep 'em closed." You roll your eyes even though they are closed. Ivar is such a romantic and it gets so cheesy sometimes but you still love it. The horse pulls a bit further and then stops completely. You can hear Ivar let go of the leash and his leg braces flex as he turns to face you. 

Ivar "Okay my love, open them." When you do, you see the beauty that he was talking about: there is a massive waterfall with a great lake, the snow is undisturbed and the water is the bluest of the blues. You look at Ivar with your mouth ajar and your eyes sparkling. His smile forms so big when he sees your reaction. 

"Ivar...this is.."

Ivar "I know. I wanted to make this place our secret getaway. No one knows about this place but you and me. It was only known to me before today. And now...this is our place."

"Only ours?"

Ivar "Only ours. No one knows of its beauty. This place is hidden quite well. I remember when I first stumbled upon it, I swore to myself that I would take my wife here one day." You and Ivar get out of the carriage and start to walk. 

"I can't believe this.."

Ivar "Believe it, my sweet. And get used to it," he takes your hand in his and looks at you, "I want you to know that whenever you are feeling down, sad or angry..this can be your getaway. It has been mine for many years. And I want to share it with my love."

"Thank you Ivar. This is truly a gift."

Ivar "It truly is a gift from the gods. And you are a blessing that the gods have given to me, so what more could I do then to share this beautiful place?"

"You have given me so much Ivar."

Ivar "It does not feel that way to me, Y/n. I feel like lately, I haven't been a good husband to you..saying things that I shouldn't say."

"Ivar.."

Ivar "No please let me finish. I know that I am not perfect. I am far from it. I am a cripple. I have my bad days and my good days. Some days, all I feel is anger and hatred towards everyone. But when I realize what I do to people and how I treat them, I feel horrible. I have come to realize that these past few days, I haven't been the nicest king nor the nicest husband. So I wanted to take you here and make you a promise." Tears start to form in your eyes, "I promise to always love you and care for you..and our daughter. But if I ever start to break this promise, I will let you go. Because all you deserve is love. You have been through enough and I do not wish to add to your torment. So please know that I will do my hardest to love you and make you happy. But do know that I can't promise you that I will not have my bad days."

"Ivar..you are an amazing husband. And you are going to be an even better father to this little girl. I know that you can have your bad days, we all do. That makes us human. Our emotions fluctuate throughout the days, weeks, months…"

Ivar "I know, sweetheart. But I did things in the past while I was angry that I regret today. I do not wish for you to be one of those regrets. That is why I am promising to you that if I ever start to get...how I used to be..that I will let you go."

"I'm never letting you go Ivar. So you do not have to promise me that, do you hear me?"

Ivar chuckles, "Yes ma'am." 

"Can you promise me something else though?"

Ivar "Anything."

"Never let me go." His eyes formed tears then. He slowly nods and then cups your cheeks and kisses you passionately. When you both pull back, you both are breathless.

Ivar "I promise." You smile and kiss him again. You stop when your dragons finally land on the ground near you two. Ivar chuckles, "Such magnificent creatures."

"Aren't they?" You watch them take drinks from the lake. Ivar takes your hand and walks you towards the waterfall where you both sit down. Ivar groans as his legs hit the snow. 

"Thank you for taking me here Ivar."

Ivar "It is my pleasure, princess."

"Love you forever.."

Ivar "Forever."

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