#like stuff that my friends have done for their partners

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P22 | you shut up

You and Mark got off at your bus stop. Mark honestly didn't mean to but he had accidentally snooped on what you were doing on your phone and saw you tweeting agonising over being mistaken as his girlfriend. It was nobody's fault, it was just how those aunties and uncles operated, and both of you were wearing matching cardigans, but somehow he felt a little offended disheartened that you were agonising over it.

As you walked to New Axis, Mark watched as you kick off rocks with your head down, looking deep in thought.

"You know, you didn't have to give out disclaimers that we weren't dating." You spoke out suddenly, and Mark rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I wouldn't even bother giving those disclaimers if you hadn't tweeted how you were going crazy on being mistaken as my girlfriend." Mark scoffed and walked past you, even having the gall to bump your shoulder but only because he knew you wouldn't take it personally.

"HEY! I tweeted that on my private account. You—" you let out a breathless laugh, out of pure disbelief, "—just 'cause you're a good head taller than me now, Mark, it doesn't give you the right to snoop over my shoulder. Jeez, did being shorter than me back then gave you a complex or something?"

He stopped walking and whipped his head around to look at you, "We were the same height back then, you little shit."

You pulled a face and raised your arms, "Okay, Mark. If that's what you want to believe—go ahead."

He rolled his eyes again, "Oh, shut up."

"You shut up." You huffed out.

There you both walked into New Axis, and you then realised you weren't fighting before, but you were bickering. Just like the old times. Mark even referenced to a time when you both had been close before during your bickering. However, when you realised Mark wasn't ahead of you anymore, you turned your head around to see where he went.

When you finally see him, you noticed that he was frozen behind you, one hand holding his phone out, eyes wide and fixated on something that was way past you. So you followed his line and vision to see what he was looking at so intently.

You froze like he did too, when you saw it was Yuno standing near the lobby's elevator, seething at the sight of you both—you assumed he had seen Mark and you enter the lobby together. You glanced down at your cardigan and looked back at Mark, feeling the same kind of horror taking grip of your heart that also had Mark still pinned in his spot.

You were wearing matching cardigans.

Before you realised it, Yuno had already stood between you and Mark, looking back and forth between you.

"I can explain—" You uttered out, but Yuno was quick to shut you down. He snapped his head to look at you, pointing a finger at your face.

"I don't want to hear one from you, I want to hear it from him. Minhyung, are you going behind my back?"

You clamped your mouth shut, feeling an indescribable kind of sting hit your chest with the way he addressed you, but you knew this was fully him and not the stoic bullshit he's been fronting on you since he moved in. You were a little glad he's at least displaying some kind of emotion in front of you, even if it was anger out of all other emotions.

"No, Jae. We're—we're working together for the MNA Week. She's a part of the Business Fac Committee and she's my partner for the Entrepreneurship Bureau. The cardigans is purely a coincidence." Mark gulped, seeing everyone else in the lobby weirded out with the tense atmosphere.

"Doesn't change the fact you didn't tell me about this sooner." Yuno stepped closer to Mark, and the younger man nodded in admission and defeat.

"It slipped my mind, dude. Honest. When I first mentioned this bureau stuff to you, I didn't bother mentioning she had been my partner because—" Mark stammered a bit, eyes meeting yours past Yuno's shoulder for a split second before looking back at his longtime friend, "—because I never wanted to have anything to do with her after it's done. I should've told you this after I set you up to move in with her though, that's on me."

Yuno sighed and rubbed his eyes, shoulders slumping and Mark took that as a cue that he could also relax now. Yuno gripped on both of his shoulders after he stepped back a bit, not smiling, but he wasn't stoic like before so it was all good for now.

"Let's go to that bar now, dude. I feel like there's a lot we need to catch up on." Yuno cracked out a smile that was barely there as he let out a breathless laugh, finding his anger and fear from before ridiculous and unfounded.

Yuno turned Mark around so they could walk out of the lobby together while you were left standing there, still frozen, and feeling like there were two pairs of feet walking all over your heart. You had snapped out of it when your phone suddenly rang. Seeing that it was Geonwoo, you picked it up right away as you took reign of your emotions again.

"Head down to the parking lot immediately. Lim Goyoung's loansharks finally left their property, and we're relocating them straight away."

You ran to the elevator.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey, Gowoon!" You spoke cheerfully, squatting down to his height.

"I've missed you, big sis Y/N." He spoke with a dejected voice, moving to hug you.

You accepted the embrace straight away, and quickly turned it into carrying the 6-year-old in your arms as you stood up. You watched as his mother and your older brother figures flit across the bedroom of Lim Goyoung's house, packing her valuables and essentials into two big luggages.

"I don't want to move away, big sis. I'll miss my friends." Gowoon spoke in the crook of your neck, and you could feel his tears wetting your skin.

You pulled him away so you could wipe his tears away.

"You'll make new friends at your new home, buddy. You're so handsome and nice, so I'm sure all the kids at your new home would love to befriend you." You reassured him, moving your hand to stroke his hair after you had wiped away his tears.

Once they were done with the packing, you quickly moved and got into the truck as a unit. You had already assisted Goyoung in wiping away her digital footprint and data while she was busy packing, so the loansharks couldn't track her through the internet or social media.

As you got into the truck, sitting at the back with Goyoung and her son, one pair of eyes in the alley closely focused on you—only you.

Cha Yoonsu stepped out of the shadows, cursing your name because the truck didn't have any plate number displayed. Geonwoo and Woojin weren't dumb, they'd put it back once they're sure nobody's following them before a road camera could catch them.

But Yoonsu swore he'd track you down despite this minor setback. At least he now knew you were currently residing in Seoul.

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A/N : so basically y/n's main gig under geonwoo and woojin is to assist them helping victims of loanshark scams 😔🫶🏻 im sorry if that had been obvious before this reveal

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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[myreia]

✦ D I S C I P L E O F T H E H A N D

Alchemy for potions. Blacksmithing for repairs. Leatherworking and weaving for mending. She is not an artisan, but the basic skills she has picked up over the years have served her well. Self-sufficiency has always been at the forefront of her mind, and she is pleased that she can keep herself afloat when needed. Besides, crafting is relaxing. A hobby or two here and there is good for her mind. —level 90 compendium

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

[thotsfortherapy]

having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you

[weezerlvr228]

why he so mysterious…

demur

[wizardships]

get fucking ready you guys. tomorrow it's fitz friday

[bladeofthestars]

.

[mgs3dickeater]

ohh

[taffingspy]

Nabor has that kind of office that's "cosy" aka you keep bumping your hips on the furniture corners

[recolourrhys]

smfh gotta do everything my damn self around here

[aliennooboo]

hmm

[raethethey]

i saw ursa's post and thought thisd be fun.

three bingos wow.

[bcneheaded]

also here to simply share this once more because it makes me laugh

[madesofgold]

.

[medicinemane]

I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity

Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all

And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me

It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been

But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel

...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this

One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help

Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out

I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all

...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut

Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?

I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already

...everyone means well, it's just tiring