#like that video of that chick on that good agit

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

I know I have a few followers. I know my content is sometimes conspiracy based. Bless your hearts because I must get your oxytocin and sera ronin levels pumping

Have some free advice

Good marriages are made with good genetic blueprints.

[regrettablewritings]

Fuck it, since nobody’s humoring me with the ship meme thing, I’m just gonna do whatevadahell I want.

So

Bigby Wolf

Who the fuck put the Peeps in the microwave?: Mundies, for all intents and purposes, were just plain fascinating to you. You tried not to think too much of them (after all, you were a Fable for god’s sake, you surely had seen plenty in your ages of existence), but you simply couldn’t help it: Between all the strife and ridiculous affairs they got themselves into, they sure did come up with some interesting ideas! Like putting colorful, bunny and chick-shaped marshmallows into the microwave oven. You heard some kids on public transit talking about how they were gonna “nuke” their leftover Easter candy, and the thought intrigued you. What did they have to gain from it? Why had they tried to sound nonchalant about it while also holding back snickers? Curiosity got the better of you, and you made a pit stop on the way back to The Woodlands. . . . Unfortunately, if curiosity wasn’t going to kill you, then Bigby probably would. Well, maybe not kill. But you knew that look of his, when he crossed his arms and furrowed his brows, turning his head down just enough to emphasis his look of displeasure. It did not feel good to be on the receiving end of it. Suffice to say, the experiment wasn’t worth investing in: The tiny apartment now reeked of hot sugar, and it mingled terribly with the stench of your boyfriend’s cheap cigarettes. Damn Mundies.

Who forgot to put the cat outside before sex?: Y’all don’t have a cat. Thank god. . . .  But you do have a talking pig that, while not a pet, insists on intruding into Bigby’s apartment whenever he’s escaped The Farm on this side of the state. Granted, given that Colin is a full-grown, big-mouthed pig, it’s hard to miss him and accidentally give him a little peep show. But sometimes, he’ll come a-cloppin’ to the door, telling Bigby to open up, he’s parched, and Bigby winds up irritated and has to yell at him to piss off. “Ooohh, I see . . . Pigs have a superb sense of smell, Bigby; are you entertaining your lady friend --” “Colin.” The growl has notes of danger and exasperation. “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll just . . . go down to the business office, I guess.” You hear him grunt lowly as he begins to slowly plod back down the hallway. But you didn’t get the chance to breathe a sigh of relief (or even one of agitation) before you heard that damn pig intentionally holler back your way, “And for Christ’s sake, Bigby, go gentle on her!” And by then, the mood is basically dead. In the end, Bigby has to use the sock-on-the-doorknob trick and a bribe of a pack of beers just to keep Colin away when the two of you want to get it on. It’s embarrassing, because you’re still basically announcing that you’re going au naturale, but it’s somewhat less so than having a pig with a grudge hollering at a wolf to not rail you so hard.

Who posts Vines/TikToks of the other doing embarrassing shit?: Neither. Social media didn’t exist yet. But say we fast forward to when it does, you still probably won’t do it. Bigby is like an old man when it comes to technology, and even though there’s some loopholes you’ve figured out with having a social media presence, it’s probably best not to put out videos of anything that might expose you guys as Fables. (That, and you know what a DILF is. Bigby may be the Big Bad Wolf, but if you show any image of him online, the public will eat him alive.)

Who breaks the most phones?: Bigby, absolutely. He and telephones have been one-sided enemies since the dawn of the latter’s creation. When they were cranked? He broke the crank. Landline? He slammed the phone back on into the cradle too hard or, if he had received particularly bad news, ripped it out of the wall in a fit of frustration. Sometimes, the phones getting knocked off the wall weren’t even his: They belonged to whoever owned the establishment in which he was getting his shit kicked in. When the 80s came and introduced massive-sized cellular phones, he didn’t fuck with them. Most Fables didn’t simply because they tended to be expensive. Plus, given his job as Sheriff (which meant, once again, often getting his shit kicked in), lugging that brick around would’ve made his job just a twinge harder. In the modern age, it’s not much better: As stated before, he takes to modern technology like any old man would, and this unfortunately also extends to how aware he is of how costly or important things like smartphones can be. But in an age where everyone has to have some form of portable tech on them, he winds up gifted with one by you. . . . Poor thing didn’t stand a chance. Nor did the next one. Or the third. They either fell out while in the middle of a fight, got crushed by him getting slammed in the middle of a fight, caught the bullet aimed at him, or got beer spilled on them. To be fair, though, most smartphones aren’t made to last, and you always kinda knew that maybe coupling your roughhousing significant other with a tender piece of tech probably wasn’t the best idea. But that didn’t make it any less embarrassing whenever he whipped out the sturdy Nokia flip phone you finally gave in and got him.

Who dies first?: Fables are hard to kill, but it can be done. Bigby is living proof of that, having endured more than his fair share of accidents, incidents, and injuries that would’ve killed any Mundy, and technically should’ve also flat out killed him. But his luck can only go so far and for so long. He might’ve been pushing it that night, but fuck it: He knew that Fables and Mundies were supposed to keep their interactions to a minimum and inconspicuous, but he wasn’t about to let that shitbag keep harassing you. And given that you couldn’t use your magic, lest you draw even further attention to yourself, that meant he had to step up. But how the hell was he supposed to know the little shit had a gun on him? Granted, it seemed like most every punk in New York did. Goddammit . . . Now you were crying. He couldn’t quite see it (his vision was blurring), but he could smell your tears. But he could also feel your thighs serving as a pillow for him, hands trembling as they alternated between frantically carding through his hair and then raking through your own and then pressing a hand against his, and pressing them both against his wound. In a way, it felt nice. Certainly better than the searing pain he felt in his chest, and the scratchy concrete beneath the rest of him. So this was how the Big Bad Wolf was to meet his end? Bleeding out on the concrete? From what he could tell, not if you had anything to do with it. Everything sounded so goddamn loud but he could make out one hand -- the one not pressing against his wound -- leaving to grab your phone and begging for Dr. Swineheart. It was . . . depressing. Depressing because Bigby knew you were trying. He knew you didn’t have the kind of magic in your arsenal to stop it, let alone in a way that wouldn’t draw more attention than what you were probably already about to get, now that the surrounding buildings had enough time to recognize that the gunshots had ceased. He knew that you felt it was all your fault, that this wouldn’t have happened if you’d just smiled at the guy or given him your purse or whatever the hell it was he wanted. But it wasn’t your fault. It never was, and never would be even when enough time would pass after the fact. Bigby chose to protect you, and even if he’d known about the damn gun, he would’ve done it still. And he wanted you to know that. He opened his mouth to tell you, only for blood-flavored gurgles to come out instead. He heard you yelp at him to not talk. “Y-you need to save your breath, okay?” you said, voice shrill and quivering. “Just until Swineheart . . .Until he --” He’s not gonna make it. Bigby thought. I’m not gonna make it, he wanted to say. But clearly, you wouldn’t allow it. And at this rate, he knew he probably missed that window anyway, what with the blood and all. But there was maybe . . . one thing he could do. Could still do. It took nearly every iota of strength he still had in his body, nearly forcing him to heave up the blood welling in his abdomen, but he managed to lift a hand. It trembled; something Bigby never did in all the years you had known him. Granted, it was because of his current predicament, but still: the sight unnerved you. If he squinted, his vision could focus on you just enough to better recognize you beyond the blur you had quickly become in his eyes. Your own were widened and wet, dampening your cheeks and wobbling lip. One of the last things he truly felt, though, was your hand slowly answering to his own. His large palm felt so heavy in your own, if only because his strength then left him. Felt nice to him. Felt . . . comforting, sick as it was. But maybe it was also the overwhelming need to sleep that began to blanket over him. Bigby was always so tired . . . And as much as it pained you to, you let him rest. He always deserved rest, what with all the protecting he did . . .

Which one I could see as being lactose intolerant: Food allergies and digestion issues aren’t exactly commonplace amongst Fables, but they can happen. And given your longevity, it also wasn’t unheard of for cases of food intolerance to ebb in and out of a person -- or animal’s -- life like the tide. But it still bothered you when the 80s hit and you began to develop stomachaches whenever you ate ice cream or cereal. At first, you just assumed the milk had gone bad, especially whenever you spent the night at Bigby’s apartment. But when the pain persisted even when you bought new cartons of milk, and when you dragged Bigby to the new ice cream parlor you’d been dying to try, Swineheart presented you with a diagnosis. “You need to stay away from dairy. We can find you some supplements, but --” “You can’t supplement the taste of strawberry ice cream!” But supplements, you had to make and take. Thankfully, one of the other, more experienced witches on your floor took pity on you (“I had my time in the 1860s, I know your pain,” she told you) and offered you a script of a spell made to make certain foods taste similar to the dairy-containing ones you were now forbidden from eating. It did alright, but it wasn’t quite the same. Unfortunately and ironically, Bigby was one of your biggest obstacles when it came to trying to sneak things. Sure, the big oaf could completely disregard Fabletown’s doctor when it came to getting a bullet shot in the ass or whatever, but God forbid you eat a spoonful of yogurt as a little snack! Those Huff-n-Puffs may be able to block out enough stimuli, but Bigby’s nose can’t be fooled all the time: He can smell the lactose on you. And if that’s not enough, your literal bellyaching that inevitably follows soon after bemuses him to no end. Whatever . . . At least you learned that chilled Cool Whip was a decent enough supplement. For now.

Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t?: In all the centuries the Fables had existed, nobody really understood why or how you and Bigby got together: Witches and wolves weren’t unfamilar with one another, but it just seemed strange. Especially given how Bigby was more no-nonsense and you tended to try and be a bit on the kinder side of things. Gren and Holly weren’t really open people, but your ability to make even them crack a smile wasn’t anything to sniff at. That might’ve built up your ego a little, though, considering you pouted whenever you’d regale Bigby the same stories or jokes that killed down at the Trip Trap, only to be met with a blank expression or a confused head-cock. Whatever, Bigby has no taste: the wolfman technically has a bedroom but barely uses it because he prefers to sleep in the den -- the literal den of his tinyass apartment. He doesn’t seem to be amused by your noting of this, even as you grin about it. “. . . Gren and Holly thought it was funny.” “Gren and Holly like anything that makes me look like a dick.”

Who is more likely to get kicked out of bed?: You love Bigby, you really do, but you’d be lying if ever told anyone that being with him was easy. He may be a sweetheart trying to atone for his past, but that doesn’t not make him a slob, scary, and extremely rough around the edges. And sometimes, he says things that really sit with you wrong because he didn’t think to sit with those words before saying them in the first place. He rarely uses the bedroom, but tends to use it more once you come into the picture. After all, his armchair doesn’t exactly make a great bed for two. Really, it’s odd that you’d kick him out of his own bed when you not only live in the same apartment building, just on a different floor -- you could really just leave and go back to your place and leave him to his own devices. But for as kind as you can be, you can also be a bit petty: Staying but kicking him out of his own room was about power. You wanted him to know you were upset with him. And unfortunately, Bigby and emotions are constantly doing an awkward shuffle around one another, so he doesn’t always know what to do. He’s used to sleeping in his chair, but it feels wrong doing so when you’re in the next room. It feels lonely, like every night before you did. He can’t quite find a good position to get into, either, not when he feels this guilty. Though sometimes, the loneliness leaks into the bedroom with you. Because yeah, you can’t sleep, either. It feels just as weird being in a place you know Bigby is in without actually being around him. And when that feeling gets bad enough, you can’t stop yourself from gathering the old comforter blanket and shuffling into the den. His eyes may be closed, but you know Bigby’s still awake. He only opens them when he feels you climbing into his lap and trying to make yourself comfortable, blobbing the blanket around the both of you. And aside from the faint sounds of the city being alive outside the window, all is quiet. “. . . I’m sorry,” you hear him say. It’s low, as though he were afraid of destroying the quiet. Like his reputation as a walking mass of destruction would carry over to the potentially tender moment. But you yawn and nuzzle into his chest, finding the scent of his cheap cigarettes and cheap soap oddly comforting. “We’ll talk about it in the morning,” you murmur. The agreement is done in silence. Of course, you both wake up with aching bones due to how uncomfortable sleeping in the chair ultimately can be. But neither one of you wanted to break the comfort of being close in that exact way by getting up and moving back to the bed.

Who uses the computer the most?: You. Just. You. Go back to the phone bit and remember that Bigby is an old man.

[touyota]

Catfish

☁ Summary: Tomura is hopeless when it comes to relationships, and soon that’s all subject to change. With the power of Tinder, Touya and one oblivious chick on his side, who knows what can happen. 

A/N: omgggg, i’ve lurked on my priv for the past year and finally decided to stop being a narc and post something. i haven’t written in forever and it shows lmao, but uh yeah pls give me feedback if you’d like. (also idk if this has been. done before, but sorryyy if it has)

☁ Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!Reader

☁ Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, manipulation, dumbfication (if you squint), slapping, yandere, catfishing 

"Fuck I'm horny." 

Tomura groaned into his pillow, conflicted with whether he should be agitated or turned on. Due to his third nap of the day being interrupted by the excessive lewd noises coming from the shared living room. Tomura's roommate, Touya, had no real understanding of boundaries and was often more bothersome than helpful. Still, without his portion of the rent, he'd be on the streets struggling to find an apartment within his meager budget.

"Keep fucking me, Touya-san!" The plea echoed through the thin walls of the shoddy apartment. At least someone was getting laid. The last time Tomura had gotten lucky was at an impromptu Halloween party thrown by Touya at the apartment. 

He went as Jason Vorhees using a dingy hockey mask he found in Touya's closet. The poor girl in question, who came dressed as an angel, was drunk out of her mind. She clung to Tomura's scrawny body incoherently, slurring about "How hot it would be to fuck a murderer." The fling hadn't lasted long before the young lady in question toppled over the side of his bed and hurled her entire cup of jungle juice onto the floor. Poor Tomura had to spend his night nursing her head over the toilet. Making a mental note to tell Touya that he couldn't invite any freshmen to their parties ever again.

Tomura ended up seeing her again in passing on campus, giving a small smile as she walked by. Only to be met with an eye roll as she turned to walk in the opposite direction. Fucking bitch... Other than that, Tomura had found himself too busy writing code, playing video games, and browsing Reddit to dedicate any time to dating. The polar opposite of his roomie Touya-san, a communications major whose schedule consisted of dating? If you considered fucking the same chick for a week before ghosting her dating, sleeping, and eating and drinking Tomura out of a house and home.

"You ready for my load? You're my little cum dump, right? Say you're my cum du-"

Speaking of fucking, Tomura's hard-on was starting to hurt, and what better way to relieve himself than to beat off to the action in the adjacent room. 

He started to palm himself over his sweats, erection already beginning to poke through. Figuring that he's teased himself enough, he lowered his boxers, allowing his cock to slap against his stomach, throbbing and angry. He slowly stroked himself, gathering the pre-cum spouting from the tip, and used it to lube the rest of his cock.

"Pleaseee fuck! I'm your little cum dump! I swear Touya!" 

Tomura started to stroke his cock faster, leaving a squelching noise with each stroke. He was barely managing to suppress his moans. Knowing how Touya wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he got caught fucking his hand to the sounds of their subtle lovemaking. 

"Fuckfuckfuck... I'm cumming!" Touya grunted, giving out after his final stroke.

Tomura followed suit, flicking his wrist with each stroke. As his orgasm finally took hold of him, biting into his shirt to stifle his moan as he came all over his fist. 

"Are you fucking serious, Touya?"

"What?" 

"I didn't get to cum?"

"Um… I'm sure you can take care of that when you get home."

"You're such a piece of sh-"

Tomura tuned out the rest of his roommate's performance. Really hoping he'd wrap it up cause he really needed to take a piss and couldn't make it to the bathroom without passing through the living room. 

After hearing a respectable amount of silence, he figured it was safe to leave the room. Of course, he was wrong; he was met with a staredown between Touya and a petite blonde woman.

"I'm sure your roommate Tenko wouldn't leave a lady hanging like that."

"It's Tomura," he muttered.

"Same fucking thing, my point still stands," The mystery woman huffed. There was a pregnant pause before Touya doubled over in laughter, clutching his chest.

"You think this cuck knows how to take care of a lady? Yeah, it's time to go, Tara."

"It's Toga, you shit stai-"her statement was abruptly interrupted, the door slamming in her face. Touya's back slid down against the door as he sat facing Tomura. 

"Chicks? Am I right?" Touya sighed, peering over at Tomura, who had just left the bathroom. "Speaking of chicks, when's the last time you had sex, Shiggy?"

"It's been... a while." Tomura shrugged, not wanting to indulge his roommate with the details of his sex life.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? Let's make you a Tinder." Touya proudly announced, excited at the prospect of playing matchmaker for his roommate. Tomura reluctantly gave in, knowing once Touya was set on something, it was bound to happen one way or another. 

Two blunts later, Tomura and Touya were strewn over the couch, mulling over his profile's final details. It consisted of three pics, one from the Halloween party, another from their most recent function. The last pic is a selfie of him in a black hoodie with sunglasses on. The icing on top is the bio that unironically stated, "Freak in the sheets, gamer in the streets."

"You're gonna be a real pussy magnet shiggy. Just wait, you'll have to fight the chicks off with a stick after they see this." Touya chuckled as he took another puff of the blunt.

"Go to hell and stop hogging; you didn't put shit in on this anyways," Tomura muttered as he snatched the blunt away to take a pull. Maybe he would find some success, he entertained the concept of having a consistent fuck buddy, but sometimes he was lonely and just wanted someone to lay up with. He wanted to be optimistic about something for once, taking his final pull and ashing the blunt out. The smoky haze and intoxicating scent lulling him to sleep. 

Fuck optimism, Tomura thought. It had been three days with zero matches or messages, and he was starting to think there had to be a glitch in the system. The only time he had seen a match is when he accidentally swiped on Midnight's profile, a famous Only fans content creator who specialized in BDSM. The same Midnight that he happened to be a top donor for and occasionally bought panties from, but that's beside the point. The profile was poorly made with blurry, uncropped pics taken straight from her social media profiles. The lack of detail and legitimacy was apparent. Tomura felt terrible for the poor soul who probably fell for it, but it made him think… 

Why not see how different the response would be if he ran a profile under someone else's guise.  Someone more attractive, someone more affluent, and someone more famous. This was simply a social experiment; no harm would come from it of course. He would simply ghost anyone who wanted to meet, keeping all interactions virtual. Now who could he possibly pretend to be. without getting caught. Tomura's eyes finally settled on an Axe ad playing on tv featuring male model Keigo Takami. Mr. tall, blonde, and handsome would definitely attract the feminine masses.  

Ding ding ding, it was like a bell went off in his head; he had found his new look. He started to scour the internet for any pictures of Hawks that weren't already posted to his socials and be sure to crop any evidence out. A few hours later, Tomura gazed over his final product. He thought it seemed too good to be true; he was sure that anyone with a working brain would know the profile was clearly a catfish. It was too clean, too pristine, and too perfect, but Tomura was tired of the profile's nit-picking details and saved his last changes. It was starting to get dark, and he had to begin his Comp Sci homework soon so he'd have time to play zombies on Call of Duty later. 

Tomura woke to a multitude of buzzes notifying him of the several hundred matches he'd accumulated overnight on his Hawks profile. Apparently, no one had a working brain within the 15-mile radius. The messages were filled with tons of chicks he had seen on campus or in class. He even recognized the one from the Halloween party. He spent his morning smoke break, siphoning through the various contenders.

Too tall.

Too blonde.

Too ugly. 

Until...

He finally stopped scrolling when he reached your profile; he had seen you before in his Major classes. You were a somewhat modest girl, always working to be an overachiever and teacher's pet. You hadn't spoken to him before, only forcing a smile when Tomura was caught staring at you in class. You were talented, beautiful, quiet, and you hadn't encountered Touya yet. You were everything he had wanted, and more. He started to type a message awaiting your response.

Keigo: "What's keeping you up this late, love ;)" 

Tomura thought to keep it casual enough to fit his suave persona.

Y/N: "lol, just sum late night studying keeping me up."

Y/N: "won't lie im very nervous to texting you rn, i'm a big fan 

Keigo: "it's gud knowing i have fans as cute as you ;p"

The conversation seemed to flow from there between you two, texting for almost two weeks strong. Tomura had learned so much about you in a short time, your favorite foods, your favorite color, favorite music, and your dislikes as well. Touya often came by his room to check in on Operation: Get Shiggy Some Pussy, only to be met with a "Fuck off," and yet another door slammed in his face. 

You gushed over how lucky you were to be texting the one and only Keigo Takami. Of course, you were skeptical at first, but what kind of fucked up person would take the time to pretend to be another person? The conversation between you two was great and always kept you on your toes. Still, sometimes days would pass before you received a response; you chalked it to the fact that he was always busy as a celebrity and didn't always have time to respond to you. 

You were currently lying in bed and unable to fall asleep; you peered at your phone to see that it was 2:05 am. You let out a sigh, preparing to stare at your ceiling until you finally fell asleep, only to be interrupted by a chime from your phone. It was a message from Keigo. 

Keigo: you up? ;(

You instantly typed a response, scared that you had done something wrong.

Y/N: yup, what's wrong…?

Keigo: i'm so fucking hard rn baby ;(((

Oh shit, you hadn't prepared yourself for that response; maybe he injured himself at work or-

Keigo: you still there babe? send a pic ;p

You definitely hadn't prepared for that, but who were you to deny him. Keigo could've asked anyone else in the world, but he asked you. Not wanting to leave him waiting, you quickly shucked your shirt off and used your arm to push up your breasts, giving an illusion of the perfect push up bra. You promptly took several pics, taking the time to edit and select the ideal filters to complement your skin tone.

Y/N: 1 image sent

A bubble indicating him typing popped up instantly 

Keigo: 3 images sent

Keigo: fuckkkk babe, ur such a tease

You opened the pics, feeling your panties dampen slightly. It was a cock, well Keigo's cock, fat and engorged, leaking pre-cum against his toned belly. He was mostly well-groomed, but a prominent white tuft of hair appears in the picture, making you wonder if Keigo was actually a natural blonde.

Keigo: 1 video sent

 let me see that pretty pussy baby, 

It was a video of Keigo languidly stroking his cock, how romantic. It was only right for a gorgeous man like Keigo to have a pretty cock to match. What he lacked in girth was definitely made up for in length, complemented with a slight curve that could definitely reach that itch that none of your toys could scratch.  By now, you had ditched your panties and started to slowly start to fuck yourself open with one finger at a time. You started recording and angled the phone against your pillow, trying to capture you desperately fucking yourself on your fingers, letting out a small whimper with each thrust.

Y/N: 1 video sent 

You began to fuck yourself vigorously, dragging the accumulated slick over your clit with slow, circular strokes. You felt your orgasm on the brink, growing more restless and desperate, humping reverently at your fingers, whimpering desperately; you were so close...There was a sudden surge of fluid from your core, incoherent mumbles leaving your mouth as you kept carefully fucked yourself through your climax. The post-orgasm bliss lulling you to sleep, your eyes had finally fluttered shut, only to be awakened by another chime. 

Keigo: 1 image sent 

look @ all that cum baby, its all for you ;)

Y/N: when can we meet? my fingers can only work for so long :p

Read: 2:53 am

Aw man, maybe he fell asleep. You were definitely fighting sleep at this point as well, finally closing your eyes, satisfied for the night. 

Tomura struggled to catch his breath, reaching for his discarded shirt to wipe the sticky cum off of his stomach. That was the third time this month you'd ask about a meeting, and it was frankly starting to piss him off. He'd have to come up with something fast if he wanted to keep you around. Even though he didn't have much of a moral compass left in his body, the feeling of guilt was hard to ignore. You didn't deserve to be roped into his fucked up social experiment… 

A yawn interrupted Tomura's guilty thoughts. He could continue to feel guilty when he wakes up tomorrow.

 The following week your prayers had been answered, Keigo finally agreed to meet! It had been such a bittersweet feeling. What if he thought you looked nothing like your profile pictures? Would he reject you and run the other way, screaming? You tried to push your doubtful feelings down by distracting yourself with running errands. Finding the perfect outfit to wear, getting every inch of your body waxed, and picking up a lacy red lingerie set. 

Upon getting back to your apartment, you found a red bouquet of roses on the doormat. They were clearly store-bought and not of excellent quality… but it's the thought that counts! 

Lots of celebrities were frugal, and of course, Keigo was no different. After further inspection, a small white card with an address and time. You searched the address finding a mid-grade hotel on the outskirts of the city. Keigo was definitely a (cheap) frugal man dedicated to his discretion. Soon realizing that the time on the card was approaching, you quickly ran to shower and primp yourself for the evening. Not even thinking to question how he found your address in the first place...

You had finally arrived at the sketchy hotel, noting that there were little to no cars in the parking lot and noting that none of them looked like they belonged to Keigo. You wandered through the lobby until you finally reached the elevator, tapping the button for the 5th floor. You tried to shake off your pre-meeting jitters, you already knew everything would be fine, but you couldn't shake the feeling of something wrong...

Those intrusive thoughts were soon interrupted by the chime that indicated you had reached your floor. You took a deep breath as you stepped off the elevator, pacing yourself as you walked to your destination. 

Room 555 

How fitting, you thought. Your knuckles rasped against the door several times.

"Come in." A voice sounded through the door.

You peeked your head around the door before taking a step in the room, not being able to locate the owner of the voice. You gasped after taking the appearance of the room. The room had rose petals haphazardly strewn across the floor. Candles flickered on the dresser, a bubble bath was run in the bathroom, and to top it off, a too cheap bottle of champagne on ice. 

There was clearly an effort made, which made your heart swoon, hoping to put a real face to the man you've been speaking to for the past few months, you said out into the empty room.

"Keigo, I like what you've done with the place. You can come out now," you giggled.

"I'm glad you got the flowers," a raspy voice responded.

.......Huh?

Your joy instantly crushed, having heard Keigo's voice multiple times in the interviews you've seen, it sounded nothing like that. Unless he'd suddenly started chain-smoking within the past few months. A loud alarm started going off in your head. It was definitely time to go.

You twirled on your heels and reached for the doorknob, only to be stopped by a hand gripping your upper arm.

"Leaving so soon? The bathwater is still warm…" The mystery voice informed.

"Oh… I think I have the wrong room, so sorry about that." You squeaked, attempting to reach the door again only to be dragged into a bony chest. 

Your chin was tilted, forcing you to meet eyes with "Keigo." Who was actually a porcelain-skinned tower of a man with shaggy white hair that had an oddly familiar look to him? 

"Let me go! You're not Keigo!" You screamed, hoping to alert any other guests on the floor.

"Fucking took you long enough. I thought you were smarter than those other bitches on campus. Tomura balked, struggling to keep you still in his grasp.

Campus. That's where you recognized the face and voice of your captor, you were both in the same Comp Sci class, and you'd often caught him staring as you worked, chalking it up to you having something on your face or in your teeth. The realization caused tears to spurt from your eyes.

"Poor baby, didn't mommy and daddy teach you to not speak to strangers on the internet?"

"I-I thought y-you were K-Keigo," you gasped, struggling to control your sobs. 

"Well, I'm not. Get over it." Tomura slurred, placing sloppy kisses over your collar bone, slowly backing you towards the bed. 

You couldn't bring yourself to move or fight anymore, body stiff with fear. Your sobs increase in volume after feeling your legs make contact with the edge of the bed. You didn't know this man from a can of paint, and here he is about to assault you. 

"Stop crying before I leak those sexy little videos you shared with "Keigo." Imagine if everyone in the class knew how much of an easy slut you are?" Tomura hissed, shoving you unto the stiff mattress, springs squeaking as you bounced. 

You cradled your mouth, struggling to stifle your sobs. Why hadn't you recognized the signs sooner? You spent so much time looking at the situation through rose-colored lenses that you had utterly neglected your safety. But it wasn't the time to feign sympathy for yourself. You needed to take action, and soon—the shaggy haired stranger dragging your motionless body towards the end of the headboard. 

"Wait!" You gasped, hoping that you could possibly reason with your captor.

"What's your name? 

This was your final chance to escape. You suddenly kicked forward, aiming for his face, failing miserably as it was blocked. Both legs were then shoved into a mating press, granting Tomura the space to press himself even closer to you.

A groan left Tomura's mouth, frotting against your clothed mound, smothering your neck with sloppy saliva drenched kisses. You cowered at the feeling, curling away from his advances. The dry humping continued until a final groan of desperation was released. He was too grown for this shit and didn't feel like going home with stained boxers when your sweet heat was right in front of him.

The red bodycon dress you decided on was shredded down the middle, leaving you in your lingerie set. You added that to the list of things you were already regretting, moving to cover yourself the best you could. Your efforts to preserve the crumb of modesty you had left were futile, both hands knocked out of the way.

"You don't have to hide princess, I think Christmas came early.” “You're wrapped so pretty, baby." He chuckled, moving to fondle your breasts. Taking the time to pinch and pull at both nipples, drawing small hesitant gasps. 

"I'll play with these more later. You don't know how long I've waited to play with that cute little pussy in person." You felt your panties tugged to the side, embarrassed with the amount of arousal accumulated below. The feeling was soon replaced with horror after feeling the tip of his cock dragged between your slit.

Tomura used the residual slick to grease his cock, bypassing the need to stretch you out. He pressed forward, forcing himself inside, pausing to catch his breath. Damn... it's been a long time. 

You yelped in pain, closing your eyes in hopes of blocking out the situation at hand. You felt him start to pick up his pace, causing small tinges of pain to course through your body. 

"Mmmm, open your eyes. I want you to watch me fuck you." He gasped, realizing you hadn't complied yet, he landed a firm slap on your cheek. "Not only are you dumb, but you're also deaf too… open. SMACK your. SMACK fucking. SMACK eyes." 

Your eyes shot open, brimming with tears, finding yourself face to face with your captor. His eyes were closed in ecstasy, dainty white lashes framing the lids, traces of dry patches on his face. He wasn't ugly. You'd honestly give him a chance if he asked you out like a decent human being.

His pace had gained traction, hips crashing against yours. You found yourself slowly succumbing to the pleasure, discreetly fucking yourself against him. You wanted to protest and resist against him, but with your inhibitions lowered, you found it hard to comply. Each thrust pulling you further into the abyss that was your impending orgasm. Your lust-filled thoughts being interrupted by the stranger's incoherent mumbling.

"Tomura."

"Huh?" you whimpered, not fully understanding what he said. 

"My name is Tomura."

"Okay and mine i-"

"Shut up and say my name." Tomura's thrusts were sporadic, signaling his impending climax. "Beg me to cum…... please." 

You barely registered the final demand, not recognizing the soft tone of his voice.

"T-tomura, p-please let me cum!" you begged, right on edge needing something, anything to push you over.

Two nimble, callused fingers drew delicate circles over your clit, forcing you to writhe and sob as your orgasm coursed through your body. The feeling that followed was one of warmth as Tomura came, slowing his thrusts until he collapsed, encasing you in his arms.

Your eyes fluttered shut with your post-orgasm haze lulling you to sleep until a wet, sticky substance trickled along your inner thigh... 

What the fuck....

You nearly launched yourself from the bed, fighting to separate yourself from your captor's arms.  

"What is wrong with you?"

"You didn't use a condom," you wailed, tears perched at the corner of your eyes. You didn't have the time for a child, you were doing great in classes, your parents would reject you, you'd be stuck playing house with some stranger and-

"Stop muttering. You're fucking up my nap. I'll buy a Plan B when I wake up." Tomura mumbled into the pillow, dragging you back into his chest.

You continued to fight his grasp, pausing after feeling a firm pinch to your side. Fighting was futile at this point, and you couldn't fully assess the situation until you had some decent sleep. 

Closing your eyes for a few seconds wouldn't hurt…right?

[flippyspoon]

Here’s some tooth rotting Christmas fluff for yas.

Santa Baby

Steve was agitated.

A job as a mall Santa outside town (nothing having replaced Starcourt as of yet) had seemed pretty cushy. It paid a lot better than Family Video, but he could take the spot part-time and work around his shifts. It meant less free time which meant less time with Billy, which neither of them was particularly happy about. Their relationship was still a bit new and exciting, and somewhat terrifying. But if the two of them were uncertain about many things in life they were both very certain now that they hated to be apart.

One more week, Steve thought, rubbing his eyes.

He thought about how good the pay was. He’d be able to get a place with Billy soon at this rate, with the security of being able to do it himself and not worry about his parents’ reaction. That was something.

The shift had been long and the children brattier than usual as they listed all the things they wanted for Christmas or asked weird questions he didn’t know how to answer (like whether or not reindeer were immortal if he’d always been using the same ones- he’d said yes) or abruptly bursting into tears. He found himself grateful nobody had vomited on him that day.

But the mall was closing in just ten minutes and there were only a few children left to appease.

Steve summed up his strength and put on a big grin, waving sunnily at the next five-year-old and ho-ho-hoing with as much jollity as was possible.

Finally, it was after nine o’clock and the mall was closed. Somehow kicking he last few kids out and splitting up tips and cleaning up litter left behind on the Santa stage left behind by careless shoppers took eons.

Finally, Steve dragged himself to the employee’s locker room and leaned heavily on a wall, sighing. His beard itched on his chin and his head was hot from wearing the hat all day in a stuffy mall, his forehead sweaty. He could take them off now, but he felt nearly too tired to move even though once he changed he could go meet Billy outside.

Billy…

Billy had been back for just a few months, miraculously alive and now a much different person than the one who had beat him to a pulp. He was by turns quiet and sweet and fucked up and then sometimes edgy and wickedly funny and prone to outbursts and also fucked up.

Steve loved him something awful. He’d been impatient all day to see Billy and smiled now thinking about he was just a couple minutes away if Steve would just move-

“Ho ho ho, what do we have here?” Billy spoke in a sing song, his voice low and husky as he suddenly appeared around the corner of the lockers. He bit his lip, looking Steve up and down with a distinctive twinkle in his eye. He looked a lot more like the old sort of Billy but it was all tinged with a kind of sweetness and his smile was genuine. Steve raised his eyebrows and turned his head, reflexively leaning closer.

“Heeeey, trouble maker. How’d you get in here?” Steve said. He tugged on the denim jacket that Billy was wearing over a sweatshirt and pulled him closer. There were still snowflakes dusting his golden curls and his cheeks were rosy. 

“You busted into a secret Soviet base under Starcourt and you’re surprised I made it through an unlocked Employees Only door?” Billy cackled and grabbed the fake fur lapels of Steve’s Santa costume. 

“Yeah, but I’m much stealthier than you,” Steve said. Billy yanked Steve’s Santa beard down off his chin and Steve leaned in, only letting his lips faintly brush Billy’s before pulling back again. “I’m a Ninja.”

“Hell yeah, you are,” Billy muttered. He captured Steve’s lips in a proper kiss and Steve hummed into it. Billy tasted like hot chocolate and peppermint, like Christmas. “Snuck right into my goddamn…”

Heart, Steve thought. That was what Billy was going to say, but he was pulling away and looked bashful if still happy, his tongue between his teeth.

“You’re in such a good mood,” Steve said wonderingly. It wasn’t a rare occurrence exactly. But he’d seldom if ever seen Billy quite this giddy, as if he hadn’t a care in the world. It made his heart dance in his chest.

“Had a good day,” Billy said, shrugging. “El and Max dragged me around Christmas shopping. That got to be a bit much but I fed em’ burgers and they slowed down a little. And then I knocked into Buckley at Melvald’s and we ended up smokin’ a J at the quarry and we got hot cocoa at the donut shop. It wasn’t bad. Buckley’s a cool chick.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, grinning. “She definitely is.”

He had tried to subtly foster a friendship between Billy and Robin, but it was always better when people came to those things on their own.

“Missed you though,” Billy murmured.

“I missed you too,” Steve whispered in his ear. “It’s almost done. My last shift is Christmas Eve. Then I’m all yours.”

Forever, he thought.

“Always wanted a Harrington for Christmas,” Billy said, and moved to kiss Steve’s neck.

“You got one,” Steve said, wrapping his arms around Billy’s shoulders. He had a lump in his throat suddenly and he shut his eyes, overwhelmed with love for Billy. “All yours. Not just Christmas. All the time. I’m all yours, as long as you want me. I promise.” He was babbling and he forced himself to shut up, a rush of anxiety making him shiver. What if that was too much? What if it scared Billy?

“Jesus, I hope so,” Billy said in Steve’s ear. “‘Cause I’m not planning on letting you go, Santa baby.”

The relief was so instantaneous and gratifying that a giggle bubbled up inside Steve and he buried his nose in Billy’s neck, hiding the couple tears sliding down his cheek.

“I like that,” he mumbled. “Santa baby…” 

Billy sang softly and swayed with Steve, the two of them slow dancing in the locker room. Steve held him tight and let his eyes slip shut, let himself sway along. “Please leave a sable under the tree...for me…”

We should go, Steve thought. The plan was to go back to Steve’s house and eat pizza and make fun of the schmaltzy Christmas specials rerunning from last year and then to have slow sweaty sex for as long as they could before collapsing into an exhausted heap.

Except that Steve still couldn’t will himself to leave, so comfy now in Billy’s arms swaying in the empty locker room.

“Santa baby...so hurry down the chimney tonight…” 

[football15-7fics]

Little Princess || Chapter 9

September 18, 2017

It has been a pretty agitated sleepiness night for Jadon.  Switching of position each two minutes thinking it would help him to close his eyes.  But nothing seemed to work out for the young boy. Every time he was closing his eyes, his mind played in a loop every single word of his explicit conversation he had with Adrianna.  Jadon had no mean attention behind when he finally found enough confidence to face Adrianna. He never thought to get her in his bed again, unless she was in the mood for it. He just wanted to know the reason behind her strange behaviour to him.   He liked her very much, from the moment his eyes caught her in that night club in London. Her beauty wasn't only what caught his attention, far from that.  She emanated such self confidence mixed up with cleverness which compelled Jadon instantly.  Even though of his young age, he already had a bunch of women chased, but none of them stood a chance.  Instantly he was fascinated by her.

Jadon talked openly with Adrianna, and despite the set up repulsive attitude she was faking obviously because he knew she was faking it, the precise description he gave of that night, every lustful detail were setting her on fire.  When he pointed out how good she felt when he was inside her, how she orgasmed many times, how tasty her pussy was, how sexy her moans sounded and how she begged him to fuck her harder and deeper, Adrianna had her head shaking in a negative movement, more like as a response to his sayings.  Her mouth was playing it dirty but her body language couldn't lie. So why that reaction of hers. After all, perhaps he got it wrong about her.  Maybe she was just another dumb chick or maybe not.   Adrianna had Jadon all confused, unable to have him a judgement on her.

His phone in hands, Jadon walked to the kitchen, pouting face and a brain lost in mist of confusion.  His body was crying for sleep as he barely closed his eyes last night. He looked up for a coffee pod in the designated coffee cupboard and placed it in the Nespresso machine which processed his expresso.

"Fuck, I'll need high dose of coffee to get rid of that sleep lack!" He said bewildered as he blinked his eyes in an attempt to soothe the heaviness off.

In the next seconds, his espresso coffee was ready to be drunk.  As he swallowed the first sip, he noticed it lacked sugar and poured three teaspoons of it to sweeten the taste.

"Better!" He exclaimed with a satisfying voice and drank down the rest of the black liquid in one sip.

His schedule wasn't the easiest on that day.  Jadon had been requested to join the senior team training ground as his talent was judged way too superior for the junior.  He couldn't have been happier to get to know more of Dortmund's star players, Marco Reus, Pierre Emerick Aubameyang, Judas Mario Götze, as the Dortmunders called him, Roman Bürki, veterans Łukasz Piszczek, Marcel Schmelzer team's captain, Roman Weindenfeller, and the entire team.  Jadon was as excited as a five years old little boy. He had followed them all when his transfer to Germany was approved and on top of all admired his pals talent.

"Day one and all I think of is to go back to bed!" He mumbled as he had a look through his Instagram notifications.  His number of followers significantly increased and he couldn't complain about this fact.

Even though his mind was aimed at the notifications, he couldn't help to have a look at Adrianna's profile.  To remain unnoticed he wasn't following her account, he thought it would be more logical to keep it low key. But still, it was way impossible to get the idea off his mind, determined to make it to Adrianna.

"She can't be that cruel bitch, I'm sure she is only playing it rude to get rid of me!!" He said as his fingers were typing hastily on his phone screen.  He felt pumped again, ready to face her with the truth. He had to gut it off, that was the only way to sooth his mind. Jadon wanted to find that easy going woman for whom he instantly fell for. "Ok, just write what's on your heart man, play it a little nasty if needed but not too much!" He mumbled to himself as he typed hastily on his phone screen.  Each word he typed made his heart beating up so fast, sweaty shaking hands.

"It's your last chance, just don't fuck it up!" He spoke to himself, breathing heavily as his finger pressed the send message icon on his phone screen.  As he wasn't really expecting her reply in the meantime, he focused on what his training with the senior players would feel like.

His stuff packed in his BVB09 backpack bag, he had a last check making sure he didn't forget anything.  The Beats headphone with which he travelled everywhere, two iPhones, one was for his public and social media use and the other for his private contact list.   One of his phones rang with a notification sound which Jadon instantly had a look at, with maybe an answer to his prayers. But the taste turned soury for the young man, all his phone could read was a text message from Julia, a girl he had a one night stand with months ago. He shook his head in delusion as what he had so hoped for, Adrianna's reply, didn't pop in.   Jadon had no interest in reading it and threw his phone away from his sight. "Fuck" he growled in annoyance and kept packing his stuffs for the training session.

The video doorbell rang revealing Marco, Roman and Łukasz faces through the video alarm screen, Jadon frowned his eyes with astonishment as he wasn't expecting any visits.

He turned off the alarm security by touching the security code on the number pad and welcomed his new friends with a big smile on his face.

"Hey guys..." Jadon greeted the three men at his door.  "Come in!" He invited them, moving from the door so his friends stepped inside his house

"What's up?" He asked.

"Yo, Sancho, you're going to train with us from today right?" Marco answered.

"Oh yeah, sure, can't wait though."

"You're ready then?" "Yeah, yeah of course..."

"As here in Germany you're still considered as a kid, your driving license won't be delivered until you reach 18, so, we'll come to pick you on the training days!" Roman spoke.

"Woow, really, so I won't get to drive my very first Lamborghini car until my 18th birthday!" Jadon joked in a silly manner.

"Nopes Baby Sancho, you'll have to be patient if you wanna ride that Lamborghini!" Marco taped Jadon's back in a friendly gesture. "So you're ready, we can leave for Brackel"

"Yeah, just let me pick my bag and we can go!"

[pixelatedrose]

A Rose For A Valentine

Part 1/Part 2/???

Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety, Logicality, background Demus, background Remile

Cast:

Lochesis Lodgick (logic). Lo, Lochy, Sisi for nicknames

Pandora Morralitie (morality) Panda, Pan, Dora, Pancake for nicknames

Rose Kreativve (creativity) Ro, Princess for nicknames

Valentine Anxxiatie (anxiety) Val, Valen for nicknames

Dahlia Desceat (deceit) Dahl, Di, Dahli for nicknames

Ruby Kreativve (Remus/intrusive thoughts) Ru, Ruru for nicknames

Riley Sleapp (Sleep) Riy, Lili for nicknames

Emily Picani (Emile) Em, Emmy for nicknames

Trigger warnings: uncensored swearing, high anxiety, fighting verbally, being left alone, breakdowns

Chapter 2

Valentine Anxxiatie threw herself onto her bed. She had just gone to public school for the first time since second grade and she'd had the best worst day of her entire year.

  It was her best friend, Pandora Morralitie, and her two moms that had finally convinced her to go back.

  "Come on, Val! It'll be fun! And at the very least you'll have me!" Pandora had said.

  "Yeah right…" Valentine muttered through the thick blankets. She rolled over and closed her eyes, thinking over everything that'd happened that day. She opened them again and stared at the ceiling, letting panic and anxiety wash over her as she started to sob.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. I thought this was going to be fucking good…

~~•~~

  Valentine had gotten to school and received her schedule alone, unable to find Pandora and the school's Wi-Fi blocking any connection she might have had.

  She looked the paper over and over and over, her high strung anxiety working overtime in her mind.

  Valentine had art first period, followed by math, English, computer animation, orchestra, and chemistry.

  The day was pretty slow and they seemed to do no work at all. All they did was play stupid get-to-know-you games and read stupid rules. Valentine shared lunch and her chemistry class with Pandora, so that was a plus.

  Things started going off for Valentine in her English class when a popular redheaded girl sat down next to her and tried talking to her.

  "Hey!" Rose, the popular one, hissed. "My name's Rose! What's yours? Are you new around here, I've never seen you before."

  Valentine pulled her hood up over her head. "...i don't like talking…" She breathed to herself.

  Sure, Valentine had teased the girl by ignoring her deliberately, but she really didn't have any interest in talking to the plastic girl.

  However her desire to see the bitch suffer outweighed and was used as a mask to cover Valentine's anxiety and she was able to mock and gather a small video of blackmail on the redheaded Rose.

  But everything was all downhill from there.

  Valentine waited against the hallway wall for her one and only friend, Pandora.

  "Vaalll~!" A familiar and happy voice chirred delightfully, pretty blue eyes sparkling through her big round frames. Pandora bumped playfully into Valentine's shoulder. "Heya girl! Sorry I wasn't there this morning, I couldn't find you and my girlfriend wanted to wait for our other friend."

  Valentine drew a smile to her face. "Nah, it's fine, Pan." She reassured the honey haired girl.

  "You found your classes Okay? Did you meet anyone nice? See any cute girls? Anything you need explained to You?" Pandora asked fervently, her mom mode activating.

  Valentine chuckled softly. "I'm doing just fine, Pan. The only real problem I had was with this one chick in my English class. Bitch's a classic plastic doll. Got a kick out of messing with her though."

  Pandora frowned. "Oh, I'm sorry Val…" something caught Pandora's eye and she smiled widely. "Well you can tell me all about it right after you meet everyone else!!"

  Valentine faked a smile and walked ahead with her friend. She really didn't want there to be an everyone else. It was just fine with her and Pandora. That was all she needed.

  "Hey hey hey y'all I'm here~!" Pandora called, bouncing up to two other girls. "And this is my friend!"

  Valentine looked up and instantly froze. "...oh hell no…" She cursed under her breath.

  "Valentine!" Pandora finished with a flourish.

  Right in front of Valentine's eyes was the preppy plastic from her english class. Her stupid red hair bouncing as she looked to the emo girl.

  Their eyes narrowed at each other and like a battle about to begin they pointed at each other and yelled.

  "YOU!!" Their voices twined in one another as they mirrored each other's offended disbelief.

  "You're the chick from English!!" Rose yelled.

  "And you're the princess from my nightmares…." Valentine groaned.

  Pandora looked from Valentine to Rose through her pale blue and white frames. Realization dawned on her face and she clapped her hands and jumped with delight. "Oohhh~!! You two know each other!! This is great oh my god we're all gonna be best friends forever!!" Pandora laughed and hugged the contrasting friends.

  Valentine seethed poison from her eyes staring at the preppy redhead.

  Rose glared furiously through the energetic hug at the dark haired emo.

  "We don't know each other!" Valentine yelled, pushing out of the hug. She was so excited to maybe make some actual friends. Now, seeing that fake preppy princess of a girl, Valentine was on the brink of a breakdown.

  Rose turned to the tall girl she'd been with, pointing again at Valentine. "That's that emo chick I was talking about!!" She turned back to Pandora. "You're friends with her?!" Disbelief and agitation dripping from her voice like honey from a spoon. Her words were thick and poisonous in Valentine's ears. "Why are you friends with her?!"

  "Weirdo" "You have two moms" "idiot" "loser" "whisper girl" All the names came back to Valentine. The reason she didn't go back to school at the start of 3nd grade. The only thing stronger than her anxiety was her anger and spite, and Valentine was riding on fury.

  "It's none of your business who Pandora is friends with!" Valentine shouted. "And who's to say that maybe she'd rather be friends with someone who's deeper than a puddle on the sidewalk!"

  "Are you calling me shallow?!"

  "If by shallow you mean that I wouldn't get my feet wet if I stepped in you with no shoes on then yes."

  "Bitch!! Who the hell are you to tell me who I am?!"

  "I don't have to; it's written all over your everything!"

  "At least I try and be friendly instead of hiding in the back of the classroom and sulking like someone just killed my dog!!"

  "Well at least I know my friends want to be my friends!!!"

  Rose stopped for a moment.

  "What? Aren't you clever enough to-" Pandora put a hand on Valentine's shoulder. When she looked, Valentine saw her friend shake her head at her, a look of what could be horror on her face.

  "Valentine, stop…" she said quietly.

  Rose turned and started to walk away. The tall girl stared at Valentine with such a look of cold disapproval it could have broken her had she been made of glass. The girl turned after her red haired friend, Pandora jogging after them.

  And Valentine was alone, the once busy and loud lunch room had grown quiet to witness the fight, seeing Rose leave, the commotion picked back up. But it was cold now.

  "Did you see That? That emo chick?" "Rose is so sweet, what a bitch." "How could she do something like That?" "What a bitch." "Idiot loser." "Jerk." "Brat." "Nobody." "Scarecrow girl with the patchy hoodie." "Scarecrow." "Scarecrow." "Scarecrow."

  How could a nickname spread so fast?

  Valentine pulled her hood up and stormed away. She pushed through the doors and planted herself onto a bench.

  Her eyes stung with the threat of tears and her hands shook. All she could think about was how badly she'd messed up.

  What had Valentine been thinking?! I insulted and mocked and fought with one of Pandora's friends...and by the looks of things she's gonna take Rose's side over mine… Valentine fought back tears, looking up to the sky and blinking furiously. If she cried here, her eyeshadow would run and everyone would know.

  I thought this was supposed to be good for me; I thought this was supposed to fun. Thought high school was gonna give me friends not make me lose them…

  And in the quiet of the outside world, Valentine waited painfully for the bell to ring.

~~•~~

  Valentine's next period was slow and empty as she dreaded her next class with Pandora, who now no doubt hated her. The hours drug on, but the bell eventually did ding it's ring and Valentine reluctantly moved to her next class.

  Valentine opened the door to her chemistry class and felt her breath catch in her throat. Near the back of the classroom sat Pandora...and Rose.

  She pulled Pan away from me. Valentine felt anger simmer up to the surface and she felt ready to spit fire at the girl who had seemingly torn Valentine's world apart. But she let her anger go. There wasn't any point anymore. Whatever dumb thing they had been playing, Rose had won.

  Valentine resigned herself to emptiness again and started walking to the back of the class, opposite of Pandora and Rose.

  Pandora was the only real friend Valentine had ever had in her entire life. She'd been with her since before Valentine could recall. And if Pandora didn't want to be-

  "Val!!"

  Valentine stopped and looked over to the honey haired girl waving to her, a bright goofy smile plastered across her freckled face.

  Pandora bounced up to the emo girl and took her hand. "What'cha doin, silly? Come on and sit with us!"

  Valentine felt her heart lighten and rise, free of the heaviness that the void of emotions bring. "But don't you-"

  Pandora shushed her friend. "Whatever happened at lunch, don't worry about it." Pandora stopped tugging at Valentine's sleeve and faced her, kind, warm blue eyes comforting and easing her friend's now decreased anxiety. "We've been friends for years, Valentine. You think I'd end it because you had a fight with one of my other friends?" Pandora continued before Valentine could give a false answer. "Besides, I want to show Rose that you're nowhere near as bad as she thinks." Valentine was happy at this. Correcting the plastic's wrongness would- "And I want to show you that Rose isn't as shallow and plastic as you seem to think she is." Pandora jeered, letting Valentine know she wasn't going to be let off the hook that easily.

  "....fine." Valentine relented, a joke I'm her voice.

  As Pandora and Valentine walked up to the redhead, Rose seemed to sink lower in her seat, shrinking and sulking like how Valentine would have done herself.

  Rose glanced between Pandora and Valentine. "Waddya want…" she mumbled depressively.

  In fact, Rose's tone was so much of a contrast to how she'd been before it almost startled Valentine.

  Rose seemed to notice and sat up. "What?" She seethed. "Shocked to find out I had feelings?"

  This was a bad idea this was a bad idea this was a bad idea, it always was, God, Valentine, you're an idiot… Valentine shifted her weight and sunk back into her hoodie. That's what Valentine had made it to do; consume and hide her face and emotions behind fabric and string.

  "She knows you have emotions, Ro," Pandora said. "She just gets a little…Antisocial. And snippity. You know. She got-"

  "It's okay, Pan," Valentine put a hand on in her friend's shoulder. "I can speak for myself." She turned to face the redhead and opened her mouth to explain how her defences had shot up instantly, how her natural reaction is to sneer and jest and tease to hide how scared and nervous she actually is, how she was upset at what she'd said to the preppy girl at lunch. "See, Rose, I'm sorry for what happened, I just-"

  Ding!! Ding!!

  "Alright class, take your seats." The teacher said, getting up from his chair and picking up a stack of papers.

  No!! Valentine thought, panic setting into her chest. No, no, No! Why?! Couldn't the bell have rung just a little bit later?

  Class was slow and Pandora had sat between Rose and Valentine, preventing any real whisper conversations to happen between the two girls.

  Class ended and the bell dismissed school.

  Valentine tried to talk to the red headed girl. "Rose I-"

  "Save your breath. I know what you think of me."

  Rose's words stung more than Valentine thought they would.

  Valentine set her jaw and mind. "Listen, I just want to-"

  "I have a bus to catch. I'll see you later, Panda." And Rose left the classroom.

  Valentine stared after her. "..."

  "Listen, Valentine…Rose-"

  "Is a whiney mellow-dramatic bitch…" Valentine finished for Pandora in the most profound sounding voice, you'd think that God himself had sent the sentence down wrapped in revelation and divine truth; Rose is a whiney mellow-dramatic bitch.

  "Uh...No...Not what I was gonna say, but-"

  "No don't worry, Pan, I'm sure there's something good down there. You're friends with her after all, so I'm sure there's a bit of like glitter or some shit hidden in her bra or something."

  Pandora snorted and threw her head back and laughed hard and loud. "I can't believe you remember That!!"

  "I can't believe you did That!" Valentine laughed lightly.

  Pandora calmed herself down and the girls started walking. "Hey, it was only the one time though." She paused and thought for a moment. "...I'm gonna do it again and show Lochy." She said matter of factly.

~~•~~

  Valentine sobbed alone on her bed. Despite having laughed with Pandora at the end of it all, every little bit of what had taken place washed over her and she couldn't take it anymore.

  "You're friends with her?!" "Why are you friends with her?!" "Did you see That? That emo chick?" "Rose is so sweet, what a bitch." "How could she do something like That?" "What a bitch." "Idiot loser." "Jerk." "Brat." "Nobody." "Scarecrow girl with the patchy hoodie." "Scarecrow." "Scarecrow." "Scarecrow." "Valentine, stop…"

  It all hurt so much.

  And it felt like it was unfixable.

  Rose had walked away and didn't want anything to do with Valentine.

  But Pandora was Valentine's only friend, and the two of them seemed close.

  So if Valentine wasn't able to make up with Rose and become friends with her, or at least pretend to be her friend, then Valentine would lose Pandora who would undoubtedly take her other friend's side, and then Valentine was sure they'd start spreading rumors or calling names, and then inevitably Valentine would drop out of high school only a week after joining, then she'd be alone forever and end up dying probably curled up under a bridge or something.

  So obviously, not making up with Rose meant inevitable death.

  ….eventually.

  But in all realness, for Valentine, she felt like she'd just failed the world. Like she'd taken someone's trust and twisted it and contorted it so beyond recognition that it looked like a deceitful shadow of what it once could have been.

  So Valentine sobbed and panicked alone in her room until she fell asleep from the exhaustion.

Hey you guys!! I’m having a ton of fun writing this fic! I don’t know when part three will be out due to the fact that I’m becoming very busy very quickly, but hopefully I’ll have something maybe by Christmas, maybe sooner? I’m not sure right now. Anyway, hope you enjoyed part two of A Rose For A Valentine! And do tell me if you’d like to see this fic with the original male characters instead, I have the first chapter all ready if that’s what you’d rather. Thank you all so much, love you!!

[buckysforeverprincess]

What Do You Want From Me? Ch 20

Lance Tucker x Reader

Words: 2120

Warnings: Language

A/N: The aftermath of the wedding. Will Lance and reader be okay, or will he screw it up like always? Enjoy!

Standing at the door, you were impatiently waiting for him to answer. After what seemed like forever, the man finally opened it with a very irritated look on his face, glaring daggers into your soul.

“What do you want?” Lance asked you curtly, almost like he couldn't be bothered.

“Is that anyway to greet the mother of your children?” You gave it back to him just as good as he had given.

“Depends...will she ever listen to any fucking thing I tell her?” He asks, walking away from the door and making his way into the kitchen.  

You follow him in, giving him an eye roll he can't see but it made you feel better nonetheless.

“What are you mad about anyway? Please tell me you’re not upset that I didn't marry Jase? In case you forgot, the wedding was busted up by the Feds. Marrying him really wasn't high on their priority list!” You really could believe that needed to be said since he was in attendance when the shit went down.

“You still could have figured out a way to marry him, Y/N!” Lance’s tone is getting a bit hostile, “You should be with him!”  

There's a look of confusion on your face as you watch the man you've spent the greater part of three years in love with. Lance was standing with his back up against a counter, arms crossed to his chest, in an act of dominance. You're pretty sure he's not trying to assert that at the moment, but you also think he's trying to hide his real feelings--like he's built up a wall. Maybe it's all an act. He has become pretty good actor after all these years.

“What's really going on Tucker?” You're standing at the island in his kitchen, close to the very spot where it all began. “Why have you given up?” This really isn't like Lance to let something go so easily. What's really going on with him?

“You think you got me figured out, huh?” He stepped away from the counter and walks to the front room, turning his back to you. “You just don't get it...I'm no good for you!” Lance plops himself down on his couch like a pouty child and placed his head in his hands. The only thing you could do was shake your head at his level of idiocy.  

“Why are you suddenly no good for me?” You start to walk towards the living room to join Lance. “From the moment you knew I was pregnant you've tried so hard to win me over! Hell, if we're being honest, I think the day I started having symptoms I was in this house puking my guts out and you were the sweetest guy ever. I thought for sure there had been a body swap and the real Lance Tucker was going to jump out of the closet, scaring me and taking my soul!” He removed his hands from his face and started laughing at your foolishness.

“I gave you up.” Lance says once he's done laughing, voice barely higher than a whisper. “Instead of fighting for you, I gave into Claire's demands. What kind of man toys with his kids and the woman he loves that way?”

“How ‘bout a man that was scared of losing them for good! I know what she was capable of--willing to do even. She was obviously bat shit crazy thinking any of this would work, but she did it, and it's done. So why can't we just move on?” You we're hoping to appeal to his better senses.  

“How's Jase?” Lance is looking into your eyes, daring you to lie about your feelings for the man you were supposed to marry. But no lie would come.

“As far as I know he's good. Well, that would be a lie really because how good could one person be knowing their uncle is at the heart of a political scandal? Jase told me he didn't know how deep the corruption went, but knew it had to be bad enough for Claire to blackmail him.” You know you were intentionally avoiding what Lance really wanted to know, but you'd start small and build the rest up.

“Have you rescheduled the wedding?” His stare never falls, eyes looking deep into your soul.

“No.” You shake your head, “There isn't going to be a wedding.” You're in a stare off with Lance. Neither one of you breaking contact.

“You belong with him.” Lances nostrils flare slightly, you tell he's getting agitated.

“I belong with you.” Your voice is calm, and that seems to be enough to break the camel's back. Lance stands and walks back to the kitchen, trying to put as much distance as he can between the two of you.

“I can't give you what you need!” He yells back at you, frustration in his tone.

“How do you know that?” You follow him into the kitchen, but make sure to keep enough empty space between you.

“Don't you see what I've done?! Look at every single decision I've made since I fucked you in this kitchen...even before then! I don't deserve you and you know it! I think you told me you hoped I ended up alone…that's what I deserve!” He angrily rubs his fingers through his hair, and his face is scrunched to hell.  

Lance does have a point. He hasn't been the very best model for future boyfriend, husband, father; but people can change. Lance can have this if he truly wants it. What he decides, though is up to him.  

“You know, I'm not arguing with you, it's not good for me or the babies. But maybe you should stop selling yourself short and think about what a future as a family would look like.” Maybe it's time you left. This wasn't going anywhere, and you'd been under enough stress lately.  

Lance just stands in the kitchen, saying nothing as you walk over to the door. “I was wrong, ya know.”

You looked over at him, delaying the moment you walk out the door and carry on with your life without him. “You're deserving of many things Lance Tucker. Just maybe don't wait so long to figure that out.”

You did your best to smile at him, but your pretty sure it looked forced. He remained silent, and you knew this was it. You were walking away from the man you loved once again.  

“Wait…” Lance finally speaks before you walked out his door, “I-uh…what about the babies?”

Well, at least he was concerned for them.

“What about them? We'll be fine. I may even move back home to Boston. Can't make any changes yet until the FBI lets me know how much they need from me.” You had forgotten to tell him about your place in all this and he hadn't asked. Guess that part hadn't even crossed your mind.  

“What do you mean how much they need from you? Why do they need you?” Lance has now moved over closer to you, intrigued by your previous statement. It feels nice to have him closer to you, but at the same time you fear the move is only temporary.  

“I was wearing a wire that day.” Lance crosses his arms to his chest upon hearing of your involvement. “I went to the FBI years ago when I got fired for knowing too much.”

Lance looks as though the lightbulb has gone off in his head. Three years ago, you started working for him and he wondered why a beautiful, young, professional woman such as yourself would take a job working for him. Now it suddenly made sense.  

“They couldn't do anything with the information I gave them, but they knew I was friends with Claire. Guess they kept that in the back of their minds when they were building their case. Right before the wedding, they came to me and said they had a pretty strong case for everything-even knew about the Governor being involved, and that I was about to marry his nephew. They also said they had some video evidence that had been brought to their attention. Technically, they couldn't use it, but they asked me to wear a wire in the hopes she would damn her and everyone else, if provoked. Guess I poked the bear enough for her to confess everything in a more official manner. Everything was an act. I had a part to play, and I had to make sure it was all believable as possible. I had to make sure the Feds got what they needed.”

Everything was out. You'd told him your involvement with the mess that has been your lives. The scandal had been just one of the reasons you weren't marrying Jase. There was no way you wanted your kids anywhere near the governor's name or connected to his family. It was a damn shame too, Jase really wasn't all that bad of a guy.  

“God, we're idiots.” Lance chuckles and moves in slowly, wrapping you up in a hug. His arms felt amazing around you, and truth be told, you didn't want him to let go.

“I was the one that provided them with the video.”

You move back from his reach and look in his eyes.

“She confessed some of her sins in my home. I had cameras installed when you hired that chick-let's not say her name, and Claire had confessed her sins to me.” You laughed and he continued on, “So I took it to the police, and the Detective said he knew the lead Agent on the case, uh-Jones?”

“Johnson. Agent Johnson,” you interrupted.

“Yeah, that's him. After looking at it, he told me they'd take it from there. I had no idea they'd go to you. If I'd known, I would have never played into her hands and we could have worked together as a team. Team Tucker.”

You rolled your eyes at the name, “Team Tucker is in my stomach, kicking at their idiotic father's use of their name. But yeah...we’re a couple of idiots. We've been letting the wrong things run our lives.”

Lance and you haven't really thought any of this through. All your decisions have been based upon impulsiveness or other people's involvement. It's time you both took control of your shit and begin anew.  

“I think I have a way to change things.” Lance says to you with a devilish grin. You have no idea what his plan is, but it must be good by the look on his face.

Lance turns you around and pushes you out his door. He turns you around again, and you look at him in shock.

“Stay here,” he says to you with a smile upon his face, before he shuts the door on you and walks away.

You are so confused by his change and also by the fact that you are now outside Lance’s home, when just seconds ago the two of you were in his kitchen discussing how idiotic you had been. Jesus, what the hell is this man thinking now and where the fuck had he run off too?

After what seems like eternity, Lance opens the door, greeting you with a smile. He's now in a white t-shirt and jeans, instead of the track suit he had on when he opened the door for you the first time. This is one of your favorite Lance Tucker looks. He’s one super sexy man.  

“Hi! You must, be Y/N. I've been expecting you!” Lance is giving you a charming grin as he holds out his hand.

You look him over and nod in approval. Looks like it's time to start over and do this right.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” You take the hand offered to you. “It's nice to meet you, but I think I'm out of my depth here.” You look down at yourself letting your eyes fall to your very enlarged stomach.

Lance immediately picks up on what you’re doing, and scoffs at your assessment, “That's the last thing you need to worry about. Would you like to come in and look around?” Lance gives you a wink and you find yourself falling for the man all over again at the attempt at a fresh start.

“Yes… I’d like that.”  

Lance opens the door wide and ushers you in, never once letting go of your hand since you placed it in his.

“Let's just call this a new beginning,” Lance says, as he places his arms around you and carefully lifts you to the kitchen island so your face to face with him; leaning in for a passionate kiss for the first time in forever.

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Bird Brains

Rating: Teen for cursing and vulgar / sexual language 

Main Pairing: Bakugou x Koge (OC) Side Pairing: Kirishima x Nene (OC)

Words: 2,354

“Oh get that pout off your face, Katsuki. This will be fun!” Koge nudged her boyfriend in the side playfully, currently walking beside him with their arms linked. Bakugou’s pouty scowl didn’t budge, though he did glance down at her before his glare returned to the sidewalk. “I don’t know how you talked me into this shit, Utsuro. You know I hate double dates.” With a small shake of her head, Koge brought her free hand around, patting his arm gently. His skin was hot against hers, a telltale sign of agitation, but he wasn’t frustrated enough to bail just yet. “Last time you had a blast, though. And things have been so busy lately we haven’t gotten to see Eijirou or Nene in a long time.”

“Tch, we talk to them every day.”

“Texting and voice chats on video games isn’t the same. C’mon, it’ll be alright.” Rubbing his forearm gently, Koge rested her head against his shoulder. “I promise I will try to control Nene’s drinking.”

“Yeah right! You both enable and encourage each other. I know for a fact that you’re both going to get shitfaced, and she’s going to become this handsy little brat that I’m going to have to constantly swat away from you all night. Shitty Hair thinks it’s funny, but I don’t.” Bakugou turned his glare down to Koge, eyeing her with suspicion. “Last time it was just me and you two girls? She had her hands on your tits faster than I ever have!” Koge burst out laughing, reaching up to cover his mouth as other pedestrians gave them odd looks at his outburst. “Shh! Katsuki, oh my god, we are literally out on the street.”

She yelped as he bit her palm, quickly taking it away from him before he could do further damage. “I don’t care! You should be ashamed of how you act when you’re drunk, both of you. I swear, if I have to pull you off of each other, I’m going to fucking flip.” Bakugou huffed as Koge only continued to giggle, obviously annoyed with her not taking this as seriously as he was. “Katsuki, love, it’s okay. Nene’s told me she doesn’t have a crush on me anymore like she did in high school, anything she does is just… drunken impulse. And she always apologizes when she’s sober again.”

“Drunken impulses and words are just unfiltered urges and thoughts.”

“Very poetic, Katsuki. But seriously, it’s alright. Nene doesn’t mean anything by what she does or says. Please don’t get mad at her, okay?” Koge gave a small pout up towards him as his glare returned to her. With a click of his tongue and a roll of his eyes, Bakugou looked away. “You’re lucky you’re fucking cute, Utsuro. Whatever. If you’re so sure, then this time, I’m not going to do jack shit to stop her.”

“I’ll control her Katsuki. You just worry about enjoying yourself, okay? Maybe there will be a song you’d like to sing!”

“I don’t sing.”

“You can try! We can duet together.” Koge smiled, kissing his shoulder softly, though the black fabric of his shirt separated their skin. “After a drink or two, you always give in.” Bakugou gave a soft grunt, finally seeming to relax as he unhooked their arms so he could wrap one around her shoulders. “I’m not letting you get me drunk. We still have to take a train home.” They stopped at a light, waiting for it to change so they could walk across with the group of other people around them. Koge kept her arm around his waist, feeling her cheeks flush as he tugged her tightly against him, placing a firm kiss on the top of her head. “We can always just crash at Nene and Eijirou’s place, it’s on this street.”

“Fuck that. Tomorrow is my day off, there’s no way I’m waking up anywhere but our place. With your hungover ass next to me.” Arm still around her shoulders, he cupped her chin and tilted her head up, kissing her softly. “Not getting to wake up with you as often anymore fucking sucks.” Koge couldn’t help but to smile, getting another quick kiss before they began to walk with the crowd across the street. “You miss me?”

“Yes. That’s the only reason why I’ve agreed to come. This is our first night off together in a long time, I’m not letting you go without me. Even if that means I have to suffer through bullshit.”

Koge giggled softly, rubbing his back as they walked. “How sweet. I miss you, too, Katsuki. Hopefully things will calm down soon.” She glanced around as they reached the karaoke bar, just to make sure that their friends hadn’t been waiting outside. With no sign of them, Koge pulled out her phone, which had a text from Nene telling them what room they had reserved. “They’re already inside. Ready?”

Bakugou gave a heavy sigh, releasing her as he walked into the building. “Ready as I’ll ever fucking be. Let’s get this torture over with.” Since the hallway was a bit small, Koge walked behind him, slipping two of her fingers from each hand into the corresponding back pockets of his jeans so that he couldn’t walk faster than her. With a scoff, he glared at her over his shoulder. “Get your hands out of my pockets, you’ll pull my pants down.” Koge gave a sly smile, refusing to comply with his demand. “It’s a good thing you’re wearing a belt, then, Mr. Baggy Pants. Oh, here!” Koge came to an abrupt halt, yanking on his pants to make him stop as well as they passed the door to their room.

Instantly, Bakugou hissed out in pain, leaning forward a bit with his hands on his knees. “Utsuro… Did you forget that I have a dick and balls?” Koge gasped, covering her mouth before she burst out in giggles. “Oops, sorry, Katsuki! Did I crush them?” She rubbed his back, leaning over to look at his face. Brow furrowed in a pained glare, Bakugou’s crimson gaze locked into her. “You did, fucking ditz. I except a rub down later as an apology.” As he stood up straight again, Koge continued to snicker, patting his chest gently before turning her attention to the door. “Oh come on, Katsuki, that’s not the first time I’ve accidentally crushed your balls.”

Not waiting for his response, Koge opened the door to the karaoke room, peeking inside. “Helloooo?”

Before she could even get the door all the way open, she was snatched into a tight and familiar grip, the soft scent of floral perfume filling her sensus. “Ko-chan! Finally you’re here!” Koge returned the hug, though she had been a bit taken aback by the sudden attack. “Ne-chan, you’re gonna crush me!”

“Oh no I’m not!” Nene released her, smiling from ear to ear. “I’m so glad you could come. We already have drinks and snacks ordered, I remembered what you both liked.” Her grey eyes turned to look up at Katsuki, who was waiting quietly behind Koge with his typical frown. “Thank you for coming, Katsu. We missed you both!” Bakugou scoffed, following Koge in as Nene moved back to allow them entry. “Yeah, whatever. You already sound drunk.” Nene giggled, shutting the door behind them. “Well I may have taken a shot already, sorry!”

Bakugou ignored her comment as he greeted Kirishima, the two sharing a quick fist bump before Bakugou flopped to sit on the bench across from his friend, who had a wide grin on his face. “Hey man, it’s good to see you! I’m surprised Koge talked you into coming.”

“Tch, barely.” Bakugou looked up at Koge as she came to sit next to him, pulling her legs up onto the bench. “Honestly it didn’t take much,” She piped in, reaching across the table to snatch a pack of spicy shrimp chips. “He totally wanted to come.” Opening up the bag, she began to munch on the chips, watching Nene sit down beside Kirishima. “Of course he did, he likes hanging out with us. He just doesn’t want to admit it.” Nene teased the blonde across from her, picking up her sketchbook and placing it on her lap. “I like the new hair, by the way!”

Bakugou reached up and ruffled his hair at the comment. “It’s just an undercut, it’s not that big of a deal…” Koge giggled at his bashful response, raising a shrimp chip to his lips. “It makes a big difference, though. Makes you look much older and more mature.” Bakugou glowered down at the chip before he took it from her with his teeth, munching away as an excuse to avoid responding to her. Nene laughed softly, already sketching, as she had a tendency to do. “He looks great. I keep telling Kiri to get a haircut, but he refuses.” Kirishima scoffed softly, reaching up to touch his own hair. “Hey babe, my hair is fine. The longer it gets, the more I can spike it up, it looks rad.”

“Yeah, it’s rad until you complain about how much hair gel you have to wash out every night.” Nene’s eyes flashed up to the couple across from her every couple of seconds, where Koge was still feeding Bakugou chips. “Ko-chan, what do you think?” “Hmmm…” Koge looked Kirishima over for a bit. “I think it’s fine right now. Any longer, though, and you’ll start to look like a…. Ne-chan, what are those birds in America?”

“Cardinals! The red ones with the little flippy bit of feathers on the top of their heads.” Nene was quick to sketch one beside her current more serious drawing, showing Kirishima as he looked over at it curiously. “Hey, I do not look like that! My hair goes forwards, not back!” Nene smiled at him as he pouted. “It’s okay, you’re not as bad as Katsu. He looks like a Silkie.”

“A what?” Bakugou growled at her, chip between his teeth. Nene began to laugh, covering her lips with her pencil. “A Silkie chicken! Ko-chan, look it up on your phone.”  Too curious to ignore, Koge did as instructed, pulling out her phone and beginning to search. “Silkie… chick-- no! Blonde… Silkie chicken.” There was a moment of silence between everyone before Koge burst out laughing, holding the phone away from Bakugou so he couldn’t see. “Oh my god, he does!!”

“Let me see it!” Bakugou snapped, trying to reach for her phone, though she kept it out of his reach. “No! Katsuki, you can’t see it, you’ll get mad- Hey!” She was crushed down onto the bench as he climbed over her, snatching the phone away from her flailing hand. “Ouch, Katsuki! No, you can’t see it!” As she tried to take it back, Bakugou was easily able to hold her down, looking at the phone screen intently for a moment. Nearly instantly, his face flushed bright red, that familiar enraged snarl taking over his features. “What the fuck is this?!”

Koge and Nene both burst out laughing, though Kirishima was focused on trying to find the chicken on his own phone. Finally able to wiggle free, Koge sat up, snatching her phone back from him before he could blow it up on accident. “It’s a Silkie chicken!” Nene stifled her laughter as Kirishima leaned over towards her, head on her shoulder to get her attention. “Babe, what’s the phrase, I can’t find it--”

“Don’t show it to him!” Bakugou barked across the table, ready to jump across and take the phone away. “He’ll show it to all the other idiots and I’ll never get any peace!” Right as Bakugou finished his threat, Kirishima burst out laughing, having found the right picture just from a pointing of Nene’s finger. “Holy crap! Bakugou, it does look just like you!” Growling and trembling with anger now, Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest. “Fuck you! I do not look like that stupid fucking chicken!”

Koge reached across the table, picking up the bottle that held her favorite sake and cup. “Katsuki, love of my life, we’re just teasing you. You’re much better looking than the chicken.” As she poured herself a shot, she smiled slyly at her lover, whos glare was sharp enough to kill. “Want a shot?”

“... Yes.”

She handed him the cup that was full to the brim, allowing him to throw it back before taking the cup from him. “How is it?” Bakugou huffed, snatching the shrimp chips she had been eating to munch on them. “Shit. I can’t believe you like that one.”

“I love it. It’s so sweet, unlike my boyfriend.” Koge dodged a chip that was thrown at her before taking a shot of the sake, though she was unable to dodge a second one as it smacked her in the cheek while swallowing. Nene smiled, already back to drawing as she watched the two of them. “You’re both silly.” Kirishima put his arm around Nene’s shoulders, resting his head against hers gently as she watched her draw. “They have a weird relationship. Sometimes I don’t get them.” Nene hummed softly as she wiggled herself closer to him, eyes darting back up to the couple in front of them as she continued to draw. “I wish they would sit still.”

“Huh?” Koge looked up, shrimp chip hanging out of her mouth as she sat beside Bakugou, who currently had his arm on her head as if she were an armrest. “Are you drawing us?” Nene smiled, her cheeks flushing a bit. “Ah, I’m trying to. But it’s okay, it’s not serious.” Kirishima gave a soft huff. “What do you mean not serious? Look at that, it’s great!”

Nene turned dark red at the praise, bringing her knees up closer to her chest and hiding her face behind her sketchbook. “Kiri, stooooop. I get so embarrassed!” Koge smiled, filling a clean cup to the brim with sake before pushing it towards her best friend, who peeked out from behind her sketchbook curiously.

“C’mon, Ne-chan. Let’s have some fun.”

[knight-of-heart-and-art]

YouTube content for demonstuck

• they have a channel on YouTube, like each of them have own channel BUT ALSO there's a group channel for the safehouse in general

• supposedly the supernatural aspect of everyone is undercover but in reality that lasts all of six videos before someone fucks it up

• multiple people probably fuck it up

• like Karkat can glamour his eyes from the cameras but they show up demonic in any reflection, causing arguments in the comments on whether that's edited or not

• Jake has gone into a prophetic trance during a livestream and Dirk just fucking carries him out, leaving John to cover it up (something along the lines of "he...does that. That's normal. Nothing to see here!" No one believes him.)

• Roxy's tattoos literally move so that's pretty fuckin' hard to cover up in a video

• Hal filmed himself in the mirror in the bathroom except he put the phone he was using down halfway through and the camera didn't move (because he's recording using his direct audiovisual input) and everyone in the comments went crazy trying to figure out where he had the camera

• also Jake's very verbally affectionate (calls Dirk sweetheart, love, etc) so everyone knows right from day one that they're dating

• but it isn't until D and Dave accidentally get a shot of John and Dirk making out in the armory that the viewers realize A) they own a SHITTON of weapons, some of which should not be legal, and B) Dirk's dating John too

• after Jake gets about a thousand "YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING ON YOU!!!!1! messages he makes John and Dirk sit down with him and do a video explaining what exactly the bloody fuck polyamory is, with much annoyed British swearing and fuck words

• Karkat isn't all that into the whole video thing but everyone loves him, like the chat goes nuts asking for "more growly dude" every time he shows up in a stream

• he doesn't exactly know how to react to this and tends to get a lil' agitated

• which means Dave HAS to calm him down which means quick lil' kisses and standing as close as he can, holding the demon's hand, wrapping his arms around him—sweet stuff, the kind of stuff he's not always okay with doing in public

• so this semi-public setting, where everyone watching the streams can see, makes Dave a little nervous to act like he's close to Karkat at first?

• but of course he does it anyway

• and just about everyone in the comments thinks it's fucking adorable, the chat always gets spammed with people awww-ing and talking about how cute they are and telling Dave to kiss him again

• and it's such good positive reinforcement for Dave, who's been conditioned to feel like he's not supposed to be in a relationship at all?

• there's about zero homophobes in the comments because every time one pops up Roxy and Hal trash their account

• also Kankri has been on exactly two (2) videos on the main channel and one of them was Karkat hauling his passed-out self out of the bathtub

• now they regularly get questions about when sweater dude is coming back

• Dave films himself having convos with Kankri and posts them on a secret channel, hides the links in the videos on the safehouse channel like a scavenger hunt

• about thirty percent of the viewers ask Dave what kind of editing software he uses to give Kankri a halo; the other seventy argue that there's no halo in the videos at all

• almost no one comments about Karkat's negative halo though

• whenever anyone does Karkat has Rox or Hal quietly check them out because there's a good chance they're going to be Bad News™

• they found a fledgling necromancer like that and ended up sending Rose down to give them the talk

• the "Necromancy is morally dubious to the point where it can be called the gateway drug of black magicks" talk

• "it starts with a cat and the next thing you know you're raising full graveyards, trying to take over Spokane, and getting excommunicated"

• she speaks from experience

• D doesn't know how to take a video that isn't dramatic as fuck

• you know those "Story Time!" videos? Usually made by overdramatic white chicks with too much eye makup? We make fun of them? Yeah that's D

• technically he should be posting those on his own channel but he's a goddamn attention whore sometimes so they go on the house channel

•  topics include: Dirk Ate My Waffles And Now I'm Sad, My Kids Don't Know How To Lock Doors Before They Make Out, Hal Is Wilfully Trying To Give Me A Heart Attack, Everyone In This House Is A Goddamn Furry But Me, My Sister Roasted My Clothes For Half An Hour And I Threw An Iced Macchiato At Her And Now She's Suing Me—you know what, I'm making a separate post with titles of D's videos. Fuck, they're monologues, maybe I'll write up scripts for them.

•  anyway he's a dramatic bastard and I love him

• there will probably be a follow-up to this post because I'm assembling this at ten PM and I know there's more I'm missing, plus @ninja-kitty-more-like-no and me will definitely end up thinking up some more PLUS y'all can send me your ideas for this

[itachislilgirl]

Xever Ref Sheet

Name: Xever

Age: 30

Height: 5' 7"

Race: Human

Parents: Tina (mother) and Francis (father)

Siblings: Skylar (brother)

Nicknames: Meat Head

 Personality: Xever is an easy-going person with a rather chill attitude, unless someone is messing with his friends then the gloves come off.  He is an agitator and an instigator always riling Waffle up for whatever reason. He always challenges Waffle to do stupid things and the two of them often get in trouble or even get hurt because of it. He loves Waffle like a brother and will literally do anything for him (no homo) but at the same time he loves to pick and taunt him just to start a fight. He uses Waffle's Saiyan pride to his advantage at times to get him to do things he normally wouldn't do.

 Like Waffle he is more brawn than brains.  Xever isn't know to be the sharpest tool in the crayon box but when it comes to fighting he's got that down pat.  Xever often refers to his friends as "dude" or "bro" quite frequently and is protective of all of his friends but especially Waffle.  He's not afraid to show emotion or passion and will try to bro hug Waffle at times, much to Waffle's dismay.

 Xever is a full-blown ladies man and will pretty much stop whatever it is that he's doing if there is a chance of a booty call.  Maybe even to the point of bailing on his friends.  He never wants to settle down with any one girl but he never misses an opportunity to get some tail.

 Bio: Xever grew up in a typical suburban neighborhood with a pretty average family and lifestyle.  At a very young age he took great interest in martial arts and became quite good at it.  He has even won a few martial art championships.  Sometimes however he doesn't use his training for the sake of good. During his high school days he became the school bully and got himself into a lot of trouble.  Thankfully he grew out of that, mostly.

 Xever spent a lot of his time hanging out and picking on his little brother Skylar.  Like with any older brother he tormented the hell out of him, but don't anyone dare lay a finger on him either.  He's very protective of his baby brother which he now shows similar affection towards Waffle.  

 When Xever was teleported to Conton city he first met up with Spyke who introduced him to his roommate Donnie.  The three become fast friends and later they meet Dwemple and then Waffle after that.  Xever had a roommate before Waffle but he wound up getting exiled from the Time Patrol leaving Xever by himself for a while.  He was excited to get a new roommate and it happened to be someone he could be as equally stupid with.

 Strengths: Xever is a strong martial artist as well as a really good friend. His caring and compassionate side makes him a good shoulder to cry on regardless if his advice is less than helpful.  His friends give him strength to fight on in tough situations. 

 Weaknesses: Xever doesn't have many notable weaknesses other than hot chicks.

 Desires: To bone every hot girl he possibly can.

 Fears: He's always afraid something will happen to his friends and he wouldn't be able to help. He gets super worried if Waffle doesn't come home in a day or two.

 Likes: He likes nothing more than to chill with his bros but he also enjoys alcohol, video games, porn, music, hot women, sex, and sleeping in late. He really likes aggravating Waffle but in a playful manner. He also likes to cook.

 Dislikes: There isn't a whole lot that Xever doesn't like, he's pretty chill about everything.

[maryhare96]

Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis

The worst time to start planning for a crisis is when you’re in the middle of one. Pre-crisis planning is key to successful social media crisis mitigation. This is lifeguard mode, and there are three elements to it.

1. Buy Some Binoculars — Set Up a Listening Program

It’s hard to deal with a crisis you can’t find. You can most effectively monitor conversations and stay aware of crises with a social media listening tool, but you can also monitor chatter by setting up keyword searches and Google Alerts. 

Technology is only good as its operators. You must have a listening protocol in your organization. Who is listening to social? When are they listening? For what are they listening? Who is covering nights and weekends?

2. Know What Is and Is Not a Crisis

Somebody sending a mean tweet or two about your company doesn’t constitute a crisis. When the volume of public outcry starts gaining speed like a boulder down a mountain before your company has a chance to gather its druthers, then its time to activate crisis mode. When identifying a crisis, here are three things to watch for: 

A social media crisis is a decisive change from the norm.

Nike and Chick-Fil-A are routinely criticized for company ethics; however, social chatter about that is ongoing and expected. That’s not a crisis. When a markedly different line of criticism occurs, that’s the first marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis has a potentially material impact on the company overall

Somebody tweeting about how Subway left mustard off his or her sandwich isn’t a crisis. Consistent reports of food poisoning from Subway is. Scope and scale are the second marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis can indirectly impact more than one company.

When weather events occur or breaking news happens, companies are forced into reacting to a crisis situation to which they didn’t contribute. Having a plan in place allows them to be ready to respond when the moments really count. When the company does not know any more than the public about what’s going on, that’s information asymmetry – the third marker of a social media crisis.

3. Use an Internal Alert and Response Flowchart

Not all crises have the same response teams. The more acute the issue, the more senior the responder. Create a crisis flowchart that specifies who in your organization should be contacted in different scenarios. Make certain that your front line social media and customer service personnel keep detailed, up-to-date, contact information (including home phones) for all executives.

This is also where – depending on the size and complexity of your organization – you may want to work with legal to map out some processes and pre-approved messaging. Crisis role-playing and fire drills are exceptionally useful too.

You’ve completed your lifeguard training. Now, what happens when a crisis occurs?

Here are the 9 steps to successfully managing a social media crisis.

1. Pause All Outbound Messages

If there’s even a hint of a crisis or public storm building, immediately pause all scheduled content queued to post your social media channels. Notify any social care representatives to shift to monitor-only mode. This can prevent their innocent attempts to respond before the company is ready to make a statement.   

2. Acknowledge An Issue

Your first response should always be “yes, we realize something has happened” even if you have ZERO answers. This will stem the tide of “hey company, did you know?” messages, and give the response team a chance to activate and gather information. Respond in the place where the crisis first occurs. If it starts on Facebook, post your first response to Facebook. Then determine where to go next. 

3. Create a Crisis FAQ

Determine where will be the focal point for all communications about the crisis. Create a landing page or microsite on the website, or designate a single social media channel and put all the information about the crisis in one place. This allows you to respond to questions with a link instead of an answer. This saves times and prevents misinterpretation of your responses (especially on Twitter). Update all bio links to point to the crisis FAQ.

This Crisis FAQ should include:

Acknowledgement of the crisis

Details about the occurrence

Photos and/or videos, if available

How the company found out

Who was alerted, when, and how

Specific actions taken in response

Real or potential effects

Steps taken to prevent future occurrence

Contact information for real people at the company

It probably goes without saying, but speed matters. What we ask our clients here at Convince & Convert is simple yet difficult. “Can you get a video online from your CEO within 4 hours, any time of the day or night, from anywhere in the world?” If the answer is no, you aren’t fully prepared.

4. Start Responding in Social Media

Once the information is collected and a central FAQ hub is designated, its time to roll up the sleeves and let people know you’re in for the long haul. Publish to all active social media accounts a post that identifies:

Summarize the situation 

An immediate call to action 

Point to FAQ hub for further updates 

Include relevant hashtags to help disseminate info 

Link or include safety tips or checklists, if applicable

Estimated time of interruption or event

Use boosted posts or paid amplification if its necessary for the post to reach specific audiences ASAP. Choose a limited duration ad or boost to reach the maximum amount of people in as little time as possible.

As the crisis continues, keep updated posts together in social media. Use Twitter threads to connect new posts to old posts, and use hashtags consistently to spread the messages broadly. Update existing posts (from the top down) rather than create new posts on Facebook. Use Instagram Stories rather than the main feed to show progress over time.

5. Use Visual Signals that Inform

Use visuals and graphics along with words to signal a change in standard operating procedure. These images can be deployed across social media accounts as a secondary way to keep audiences informed. Display names on Twitter and Instagram are easy to change. So are profile and cover images. When tragedy struck on a Southwest Airlines flight after an engine explosion, @SouthwestAir updated all social media profile images to a simple white or gray icon. It was a powerful cue; one that was done in relative silence.  

6. Build a Pressure Relief Valve

This may be counterintuitive, but you WANT people to vent on a venue you control. Whether it’s your Facebook page, blog, forum, or comments section on your Crisis FAQ microsite, you want ire to accumulate on your turf. There are four benefits to this approach:

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

If you do not proactively provide a pressure relief valve, complainants will create their own, giving you no recourse or control whatsoever.

To their credit, Penn State University used their Facebook wall as a pressure relief valve during the height of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, allowing hundreds of angry comments to be posted. But, because it was on their Facebook page, they could see, find, moderate (as necessary), and answer back. Smart.

7. Remember the response rule of 2

Social media crisis management isn’t about winning, it’s about damage control. Some people will be angry enough that you’re not going to convince them of anything.

Do not get in an online tit for tat, ever (and certainly not in a crisis scenario). Crisis management is a spectator sport. The Hug Your Haters response rule of 2 is to respond only twice, publicly. Give the agitator two responses, but no more. This demonstrates to anyone watching that you attempted to engage in a productive, constructive way, but also knew when to walk away. Move conversations that are likely to be resolved to an offline channel (direct message, email, phone) after the second response. 

8. Arm Your Army

We know where everyone works, because it’s listed on their Facebook and Linkedin profiles. If you wanted more information about the Southwest Airlines crisis, would you call their corporate communications department and wait on hold, or would you go to Linkedin and find ANYONE at Southwest to whom you had a connection. Bingo! Call centers and waiting on hold is for suckers, and every employee is a potential spokesperson. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep ALL employees informed about the crisis. Whether it’s email, text message, internal blog, Slack or similar, you must keep your employees at least as knowledgeable as the public.

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

9. Learn Your Lessons

After the crisis subsides, and you’ve dried the tears off your laptop, reconstruct and deconstruct the crisis. Document every facet:

Make copies of all tweets, status updates, blog comments, etc.

Make copies of all emails

Analyze website traffic patterns

Analyze search volume patterns

Where did the crisis break, and when? Where did it spread, and how?

How did your internal notification work?

How did your response protocol work?

Did specific customers rise to your defense? (thank them!)

Were your employees informed?

How did the online crisis intersect with offline coverage (if any)

There you have it. The social media crisis management playbook that I hope you never need. If you’d like to put a customized crisis plan together for your company, let me know. We can help.

The post Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

https://ift.tt/2SLu0jG

[rodneyevesuarywk]

Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis

The worst time to start planning for a crisis is when you’re in the middle of one. Pre-crisis planning is key to successful social media crisis mitigation. This is lifeguard mode, and there are three elements to it.

1. Buy Some Binoculars — Set Up a Listening Program

It’s hard to deal with a crisis you can’t find. You can most effectively monitor conversations and stay aware of crises with a social media listening tool, but you can also monitor chatter by setting up keyword searches and Google Alerts. 

Technology is only good as its operators. You must have a listening protocol in your organization. Who is listening to social? When are they listening? For what are they listening? Who is covering nights and weekends?

2. Know What Is and Is Not a Crisis

Somebody sending a mean tweet or two about your company doesn’t constitute a crisis. When the volume of public outcry starts gaining speed like a boulder down a mountain before your company has a chance to gather its druthers, then its time to activate crisis mode. When identifying a crisis, here are three things to watch for: 

A social media crisis is a decisive change from the norm.

Nike and Chick-Fil-A are routinely criticized for company ethics; however, social chatter about that is ongoing and expected. That’s not a crisis. When a markedly different line of criticism occurs, that’s the first marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis has a potentially material impact on the company overall

Somebody tweeting about how Subway left mustard off his or her sandwich isn’t a crisis. Consistent reports of food poisoning from Subway is. Scope and scale are the second marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis can indirectly impact more than one company.

When weather events occur or breaking news happens, companies are forced into reacting to a crisis situation to which they didn’t contribute. Having a plan in place allows them to be ready to respond when the moments really count. When the company does not know any more than the public about what’s going on, that’s information asymmetry – the third marker of a social media crisis.

3. Use an Internal Alert and Response Flowchart

Not all crises have the same response teams. The more acute the issue, the more senior the responder. Create a crisis flowchart that specifies who in your organization should be contacted in different scenarios. Make certain that your front line social media and customer service personnel keep detailed, up-to-date, contact information (including home phones) for all executives.

This is also where – depending on the size and complexity of your organization – you may want to work with legal to map out some processes and pre-approved messaging. Crisis role-playing and fire drills are exceptionally useful too.

You’ve completed your lifeguard training. Now, what happens when a crisis occurs?

Here are the 9 steps to successfully managing a social media crisis.

1. Pause All Outbound Messages

If there’s even a hint of a crisis or public storm building, immediately pause all scheduled content queued to post your social media channels. Notify any social care representatives to shift to monitor-only mode. This can prevent their innocent attempts to respond before the company is ready to make a statement.   

2. Acknowledge An Issue

Your first response should always be “yes, we realize something has happened” even if you have ZERO answers. This will stem the tide of “hey company, did you know?” messages, and give the response team a chance to activate and gather information. Respond in the place where the crisis first occurs. If it starts on Facebook, post your first response to Facebook. Then determine where to go next. 

3. Create a Crisis FAQ

Determine where will be the focal point for all communications about the crisis. Create a landing page or microsite on the website, or designate a single social media channel and put all the information about the crisis in one place. This allows you to respond to questions with a link instead of an answer. This saves times and prevents misinterpretation of your responses (especially on Twitter). Update all bio links to point to the crisis FAQ.

This Crisis FAQ should include:

Acknowledgement of the crisis

Details about the occurrence

Photos and/or videos, if available

How the company found out

Who was alerted, when, and how

Specific actions taken in response

Real or potential effects

Steps taken to prevent future occurrence

Contact information for real people at the company

It probably goes without saying, but speed matters. What we ask our clients here at Convince & Convert is simple yet difficult. “Can you get a video online from your CEO within 4 hours, any time of the day or night, from anywhere in the world?” If the answer is no, you aren’t fully prepared.

4. Start Responding in Social Media

Once the information is collected and a central FAQ hub is designated, its time to roll up the sleeves and let people know you’re in for the long haul. Publish to all active social media accounts a post that identifies:

Summarize the situation 

An immediate call to action 

Point to FAQ hub for further updates 

Include relevant hashtags to help disseminate info 

Link or include safety tips or checklists, if applicable

Estimated time of interruption or event

Use boosted posts or paid amplification if its necessary for the post to reach specific audiences ASAP. Choose a limited duration ad or boost to reach the maximum amount of people in as little time as possible.

As the crisis continues, keep updated posts together in social media. Use Twitter threads to connect new posts to old posts, and use hashtags consistently to spread the messages broadly. Update existing posts (from the top down) rather than create new posts on Facebook. Use Instagram Stories rather than the main feed to show progress over time.

5. Use Visual Signals that Inform

Use visuals and graphics along with words to signal a change in standard operating procedure. These images can be deployed across social media accounts as a secondary way to keep audiences informed. Display names on Twitter and Instagram are easy to change. So are profile and cover images. When tragedy struck on a Southwest Airlines flight after an engine explosion, @SouthwestAir updated all social media profile images to a simple white or gray icon. It was a powerful cue; one that was done in relative silence.  

6. Build a Pressure Relief Valve

This may be counterintuitive, but you WANT people to vent on a venue you control. Whether it’s your Facebook page, blog, forum, or comments section on your Crisis FAQ microsite, you want ire to accumulate on your turf. There are four benefits to this approach:

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

If you do not proactively provide a pressure relief valve, complainants will create their own, giving you no recourse or control whatsoever.

To their credit, Penn State University used their Facebook wall as a pressure relief valve during the height of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, allowing hundreds of angry comments to be posted. But, because it was on their Facebook page, they could see, find, moderate (as necessary), and answer back. Smart.

7. Remember the response rule of 2

Social media crisis management isn’t about winning, it’s about damage control. Some people will be angry enough that you’re not going to convince them of anything.

Do not get in an online tit for tat, ever (and certainly not in a crisis scenario). Crisis management is a spectator sport. The Hug Your Haters response rule of 2 is to respond only twice, publicly. Give the agitator two responses, but no more. This demonstrates to anyone watching that you attempted to engage in a productive, constructive way, but also knew when to walk away. Move conversations that are likely to be resolved to an offline channel (direct message, email, phone) after the second response. 

8. Arm Your Army

We know where everyone works, because it’s listed on their Facebook and Linkedin profiles. If you wanted more information about the Southwest Airlines crisis, would you call their corporate communications department and wait on hold, or would you go to Linkedin and find ANYONE at Southwest to whom you had a connection. Bingo! Call centers and waiting on hold is for suckers, and every employee is a potential spokesperson. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep ALL employees informed about the crisis. Whether it’s email, text message, internal blog, Slack or similar, you must keep your employees at least as knowledgeable as the public.

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

9. Learn Your Lessons

After the crisis subsides, and you’ve dried the tears off your laptop, reconstruct and deconstruct the crisis. Document every facet:

Make copies of all tweets, status updates, blog comments, etc.

Make copies of all emails

Analyze website traffic patterns

Analyze search volume patterns

Where did the crisis break, and when? Where did it spread, and how?

How did your internal notification work?

How did your response protocol work?

Did specific customers rise to your defense? (thank them!)

Were your employees informed?

How did the online crisis intersect with offline coverage (if any)

There you have it. The social media crisis management playbook that I hope you never need. If you’d like to put a customized crisis plan together for your company, let me know. We can help.

The post Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

https://ift.tt/2SLu0jG

[christinesumpmg]

Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis

The worst time to start planning for a crisis is when you’re in the middle of one. Pre-crisis planning is key to successful social media crisis mitigation. This is lifeguard mode, and there are three elements to it.

1. Buy Some Binoculars — Set Up a Listening Program

It’s hard to deal with a crisis you can’t find. You can most effectively monitor conversations and stay aware of crises with a social media listening tool, but you can also monitor chatter by setting up keyword searches and Google Alerts. 

Technology is only good as its operators. You must have a listening protocol in your organization. Who is listening to social? When are they listening? For what are they listening? Who is covering nights and weekends?

2. Know What Is and Is Not a Crisis

Somebody sending a mean tweet or two about your company doesn’t constitute a crisis. When the volume of public outcry starts gaining speed like a boulder down a mountain before your company has a chance to gather its druthers, then its time to activate crisis mode. When identifying a crisis, here are three things to watch for: 

A social media crisis is a decisive change from the norm.

Nike and Chick-Fil-A are routinely criticized for company ethics; however, social chatter about that is ongoing and expected. That’s not a crisis. When a markedly different line of criticism occurs, that’s the first marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis has a potentially material impact on the company overall

Somebody tweeting about how Subway left mustard off his or her sandwich isn’t a crisis. Consistent reports of food poisoning from Subway is. Scope and scale are the second marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis can indirectly impact more than one company.

When weather events occur or breaking news happens, companies are forced into reacting to a crisis situation to which they didn’t contribute. Having a plan in place allows them to be ready to respond when the moments really count. When the company does not know any more than the public about what’s going on, that’s information asymmetry – the third marker of a social media crisis.

3. Use an Internal Alert and Response Flowchart

Not all crises have the same response teams. The more acute the issue, the more senior the responder. Create a crisis flowchart that specifies who in your organization should be contacted in different scenarios. Make certain that your front line social media and customer service personnel keep detailed, up-to-date, contact information (including home phones) for all executives.

This is also where – depending on the size and complexity of your organization – you may want to work with legal to map out some processes and pre-approved messaging. Crisis role-playing and fire drills are exceptionally useful too.

You’ve completed your lifeguard training. Now, what happens when a crisis occurs?

Here are the 9 steps to successfully managing a social media crisis.

1. Pause All Outbound Messages

If there’s even a hint of a crisis or public storm building, immediately pause all scheduled content queued to post your social media channels. Notify any social care representatives to shift to monitor-only mode. This can prevent their innocent attempts to respond before the company is ready to make a statement.   

2. Acknowledge An Issue

Your first response should always be “yes, we realize something has happened” even if you have ZERO answers. This will stem the tide of “hey company, did you know?” messages, and give the response team a chance to activate and gather information. Respond in the place where the crisis first occurs. If it starts on Facebook, post your first response to Facebook. Then determine where to go next. 

3. Create a Crisis FAQ

Determine where will be the focal point for all communications about the crisis. Create a landing page or microsite on the website, or designate a single social media channel and put all the information about the crisis in one place. This allows you to respond to questions with a link instead of an answer. This saves times and prevents misinterpretation of your responses (especially on Twitter). Update all bio links to point to the crisis FAQ.

This Crisis FAQ should include:

Acknowledgement of the crisis

Details about the occurrence

Photos and/or videos, if available

How the company found out

Who was alerted, when, and how

Specific actions taken in response

Real or potential effects

Steps taken to prevent future occurrence

Contact information for real people at the company

It probably goes without saying, but speed matters. What we ask our clients here at Convince & Convert is simple yet difficult. “Can you get a video online from your CEO within 4 hours, any time of the day or night, from anywhere in the world?” If the answer is no, you aren’t fully prepared.

4. Start Responding in Social Media

Once the information is collected and a central FAQ hub is designated, its time to roll up the sleeves and let people know you’re in for the long haul. Publish to all active social media accounts a post that identifies:

Summarize the situation 

An immediate call to action 

Point to FAQ hub for further updates 

Include relevant hashtags to help disseminate info 

Link or include safety tips or checklists, if applicable

Estimated time of interruption or event

Use boosted posts or paid amplification if its necessary for the post to reach specific audiences ASAP. Choose a limited duration ad or boost to reach the maximum amount of people in as little time as possible.

As the crisis continues, keep updated posts together in social media. Use Twitter threads to connect new posts to old posts, and use hashtags consistently to spread the messages broadly. Update existing posts (from the top down) rather than create new posts on Facebook. Use Instagram Stories rather than the main feed to show progress over time.

5. Use Visual Signals that Inform

Use visuals and graphics along with words to signal a change in standard operating procedure. These images can be deployed across social media accounts as a secondary way to keep audiences informed. Display names on Twitter and Instagram are easy to change. So are profile and cover images. When tragedy struck on a Southwest Airlines flight after an engine explosion, @SouthwestAir updated all social media profile images to a simple white or gray icon. It was a powerful cue; one that was done in relative silence.  

6. Build a Pressure Relief Valve

This may be counterintuitive, but you WANT people to vent on a venue you control. Whether it’s your Facebook page, blog, forum, or comments section on your Crisis FAQ microsite, you want ire to accumulate on your turf. There are four benefits to this approach:

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

If you do not proactively provide a pressure relief valve, complainants will create their own, giving you no recourse or control whatsoever.

To their credit, Penn State University used their Facebook wall as a pressure relief valve during the height of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, allowing hundreds of angry comments to be posted. But, because it was on their Facebook page, they could see, find, moderate (as necessary), and answer back. Smart.

7. Remember the response rule of 2

Social media crisis management isn’t about winning, it’s about damage control. Some people will be angry enough that you’re not going to convince them of anything.

Do not get in an online tit for tat, ever (and certainly not in a crisis scenario). Crisis management is a spectator sport. The Hug Your Haters response rule of 2 is to respond only twice, publicly. Give the agitator two responses, but no more. This demonstrates to anyone watching that you attempted to engage in a productive, constructive way, but also knew when to walk away. Move conversations that are likely to be resolved to an offline channel (direct message, email, phone) after the second response. 

8. Arm Your Army

We know where everyone works, because it’s listed on their Facebook and Linkedin profiles. If you wanted more information about the Southwest Airlines crisis, would you call their corporate communications department and wait on hold, or would you go to Linkedin and find ANYONE at Southwest to whom you had a connection. Bingo! Call centers and waiting on hold is for suckers, and every employee is a potential spokesperson. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep ALL employees informed about the crisis. Whether it’s email, text message, internal blog, Slack or similar, you must keep your employees at least as knowledgeable as the public.

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

9. Learn Your Lessons

After the crisis subsides, and you’ve dried the tears off your laptop, reconstruct and deconstruct the crisis. Document every facet:

Make copies of all tweets, status updates, blog comments, etc.

Make copies of all emails

Analyze website traffic patterns

Analyze search volume patterns

Where did the crisis break, and when? Where did it spread, and how?

How did your internal notification work?

How did your response protocol work?

Did specific customers rise to your defense? (thank them!)

Were your employees informed?

How did the online crisis intersect with offline coverage (if any)

There you have it. The social media crisis management playbook that I hope you never need. If you’d like to put a customized crisis plan together for your company, let me know. We can help.

The post Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

https://ift.tt/2SLu0jG

[fairchildlingpo1]

Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis

The worst time to start planning for a crisis is when you’re in the middle of one. Pre-crisis planning is key to successful social media crisis mitigation. This is lifeguard mode, and there are three elements to it.

1. Buy Some Binoculars — Set Up a Listening Program

It’s hard to deal with a crisis you can’t find. You can most effectively monitor conversations and stay aware of crises with a social media listening tool, but you can also monitor chatter by setting up keyword searches and Google Alerts. 

Technology is only good as its operators. You must have a listening protocol in your organization. Who is listening to social? When are they listening? For what are they listening? Who is covering nights and weekends?

2. Know What Is and Is Not a Crisis

Somebody sending a mean tweet or two about your company doesn’t constitute a crisis. When the volume of public outcry starts gaining speed like a boulder down a mountain before your company has a chance to gather its druthers, then its time to activate crisis mode. When identifying a crisis, here are three things to watch for: 

A social media crisis is a decisive change from the norm.

Nike and Chick-Fil-A are routinely criticized for company ethics; however, social chatter about that is ongoing and expected. That’s not a crisis. When a markedly different line of criticism occurs, that’s the first marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis has a potentially material impact on the company overall

Somebody tweeting about how Subway left mustard off his or her sandwich isn’t a crisis. Consistent reports of food poisoning from Subway is. Scope and scale are the second marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis can indirectly impact more than one company.

When weather events occur or breaking news happens, companies are forced into reacting to a crisis situation to which they didn’t contribute. Having a plan in place allows them to be ready to respond when the moments really count. When the company does not know any more than the public about what’s going on, that’s information asymmetry – the third marker of a social media crisis.

3. Use an Internal Alert and Response Flowchart

Not all crises have the same response teams. The more acute the issue, the more senior the responder. Create a crisis flowchart that specifies who in your organization should be contacted in different scenarios. Make certain that your front line social media and customer service personnel keep detailed, up-to-date, contact information (including home phones) for all executives.

This is also where – depending on the size and complexity of your organization – you may want to work with legal to map out some processes and pre-approved messaging. Crisis role-playing and fire drills are exceptionally useful too.

You’ve completed your lifeguard training. Now, what happens when a crisis occurs?

Here are the 9 steps to successfully managing a social media crisis.

1. Pause All Outbound Messages

If there’s even a hint of a crisis or public storm building, immediately pause all scheduled content queued to post your social media channels. Notify any social care representatives to shift to monitor-only mode. This can prevent their innocent attempts to respond before the company is ready to make a statement.   

2. Acknowledge An Issue

Your first response should always be “yes, we realize something has happened” even if you have ZERO answers. This will stem the tide of “hey company, did you know?” messages, and give the response team a chance to activate and gather information. Respond in the place where the crisis first occurs. If it starts on Facebook, post your first response to Facebook. Then determine where to go next. 

3. Create a Crisis FAQ

Determine where will be the focal point for all communications about the crisis. Create a landing page or microsite on the website, or designate a single social media channel and put all the information about the crisis in one place. This allows you to respond to questions with a link instead of an answer. This saves times and prevents misinterpretation of your responses (especially on Twitter). Update all bio links to point to the crisis FAQ.

This Crisis FAQ should include:

Acknowledgement of the crisis

Details about the occurrence

Photos and/or videos, if available

How the company found out

Who was alerted, when, and how

Specific actions taken in response

Real or potential effects

Steps taken to prevent future occurrence

Contact information for real people at the company

It probably goes without saying, but speed matters. What we ask our clients here at Convince & Convert is simple yet difficult. “Can you get a video online from your CEO within 4 hours, any time of the day or night, from anywhere in the world?” If the answer is no, you aren’t fully prepared.

4. Start Responding in Social Media

Once the information is collected and a central FAQ hub is designated, its time to roll up the sleeves and let people know you’re in for the long haul. Publish to all active social media accounts a post that identifies:

Summarize the situation 

An immediate call to action 

Point to FAQ hub for further updates 

Include relevant hashtags to help disseminate info 

Link or include safety tips or checklists, if applicable

Estimated time of interruption or event

Use boosted posts or paid amplification if its necessary for the post to reach specific audiences ASAP. Choose a limited duration ad or boost to reach the maximum amount of people in as little time as possible.

As the crisis continues, keep updated posts together in social media. Use Twitter threads to connect new posts to old posts, and use hashtags consistently to spread the messages broadly. Update existing posts (from the top down) rather than create new posts on Facebook. Use Instagram Stories rather than the main feed to show progress over time.

5. Use Visual Signals that Inform

Use visuals and graphics along with words to signal a change in standard operating procedure. These images can be deployed across social media accounts as a secondary way to keep audiences informed. Display names on Twitter and Instagram are easy to change. So are profile and cover images. When tragedy struck on a Southwest Airlines flight after an engine explosion, @SouthwestAir updated all social media profile images to a simple white or gray icon. It was a powerful cue; one that was done in relative silence.  

6. Build a Pressure Relief Valve

This may be counterintuitive, but you WANT people to vent on a venue you control. Whether it’s your Facebook page, blog, forum, or comments section on your Crisis FAQ microsite, you want ire to accumulate on your turf. There are four benefits to this approach:

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

If you do not proactively provide a pressure relief valve, complainants will create their own, giving you no recourse or control whatsoever.

To their credit, Penn State University used their Facebook wall as a pressure relief valve during the height of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, allowing hundreds of angry comments to be posted. But, because it was on their Facebook page, they could see, find, moderate (as necessary), and answer back. Smart.

7. Remember the response rule of 2

Social media crisis management isn’t about winning, it’s about damage control. Some people will be angry enough that you’re not going to convince them of anything.

Do not get in an online tit for tat, ever (and certainly not in a crisis scenario). Crisis management is a spectator sport. The Hug Your Haters response rule of 2 is to respond only twice, publicly. Give the agitator two responses, but no more. This demonstrates to anyone watching that you attempted to engage in a productive, constructive way, but also knew when to walk away. Move conversations that are likely to be resolved to an offline channel (direct message, email, phone) after the second response. 

8. Arm Your Army

We know where everyone works, because it’s listed on their Facebook and Linkedin profiles. If you wanted more information about the Southwest Airlines crisis, would you call their corporate communications department and wait on hold, or would you go to Linkedin and find ANYONE at Southwest to whom you had a connection. Bingo! Call centers and waiting on hold is for suckers, and every employee is a potential spokesperson. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep ALL employees informed about the crisis. Whether it’s email, text message, internal blog, Slack or similar, you must keep your employees at least as knowledgeable as the public.

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

9. Learn Your Lessons

After the crisis subsides, and you’ve dried the tears off your laptop, reconstruct and deconstruct the crisis. Document every facet:

Make copies of all tweets, status updates, blog comments, etc.

Make copies of all emails

Analyze website traffic patterns

Analyze search volume patterns

Where did the crisis break, and when? Where did it spread, and how?

How did your internal notification work?

How did your response protocol work?

Did specific customers rise to your defense? (thank them!)

Were your employees informed?

How did the online crisis intersect with offline coverage (if any)

There you have it. The social media crisis management playbook that I hope you never need. If you’d like to put a customized crisis plan together for your company, let me know. We can help.

The post Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

https://ift.tt/2SLu0jG

[conniecogeie]

Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis

The worst time to start planning for a crisis is when you’re in the middle of one. Pre-crisis planning is key to successful social media crisis mitigation. This is lifeguard mode, and there are three elements to it.

1. Buy Some Binoculars — Set Up a Listening Program

It’s hard to deal with a crisis you can’t find. You can most effectively monitor conversations and stay aware of crises with a social media listening tool, but you can also monitor chatter by setting up keyword searches and Google Alerts. 

Technology is only good as its operators. You must have a listening protocol in your organization. Who is listening to social? When are they listening? For what are they listening? Who is covering nights and weekends?

2. Know What Is and Is Not a Crisis

Somebody sending a mean tweet or two about your company doesn’t constitute a crisis. When the volume of public outcry starts gaining speed like a boulder down a mountain before your company has a chance to gather its druthers, then its time to activate crisis mode. When identifying a crisis, here are three things to watch for: 

A social media crisis is a decisive change from the norm.

Nike and Chick-Fil-A are routinely criticized for company ethics; however, social chatter about that is ongoing and expected. That’s not a crisis. When a markedly different line of criticism occurs, that’s the first marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis has a potentially material impact on the company overall

Somebody tweeting about how Subway left mustard off his or her sandwich isn’t a crisis. Consistent reports of food poisoning from Subway is. Scope and scale are the second marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis can indirectly impact more than one company.

When weather events occur or breaking news happens, companies are forced into reacting to a crisis situation to which they didn’t contribute. Having a plan in place allows them to be ready to respond when the moments really count. When the company does not know any more than the public about what’s going on, that’s information asymmetry – the third marker of a social media crisis.

3. Use an Internal Alert and Response Flowchart

Not all crises have the same response teams. The more acute the issue, the more senior the responder. Create a crisis flowchart that specifies who in your organization should be contacted in different scenarios. Make certain that your front line social media and customer service personnel keep detailed, up-to-date, contact information (including home phones) for all executives.

This is also where – depending on the size and complexity of your organization – you may want to work with legal to map out some processes and pre-approved messaging. Crisis role-playing and fire drills are exceptionally useful too.

You’ve completed your lifeguard training. Now, what happens when a crisis occurs?

Here are the 9 steps to successfully managing a social media crisis.

1. Pause All Outbound Messages

If there’s even a hint of a crisis or public storm building, immediately pause all scheduled content queued to post your social media channels. Notify any social care representatives to shift to monitor-only mode. This can prevent their innocent attempts to respond before the company is ready to make a statement.   

2. Acknowledge An Issue

Your first response should always be “yes, we realize something has happened” even if you have ZERO answers. This will stem the tide of “hey company, did you know?” messages, and give the response team a chance to activate and gather information. Respond in the place where the crisis first occurs. If it starts on Facebook, post your first response to Facebook. Then determine where to go next. 

3. Create a Crisis FAQ

Determine where will be the focal point for all communications about the crisis. Create a landing page or microsite on the website, or designate a single social media channel and put all the information about the crisis in one place. This allows you to respond to questions with a link instead of an answer. This saves times and prevents misinterpretation of your responses (especially on Twitter). Update all bio links to point to the crisis FAQ.

This Crisis FAQ should include:

Acknowledgement of the crisis

Details about the occurrence

Photos and/or videos, if available

How the company found out

Who was alerted, when, and how

Specific actions taken in response

Real or potential effects

Steps taken to prevent future occurrence

Contact information for real people at the company

It probably goes without saying, but speed matters. What we ask our clients here at Convince & Convert is simple yet difficult. “Can you get a video online from your CEO within 4 hours, any time of the day or night, from anywhere in the world?” If the answer is no, you aren’t fully prepared.

4. Start Responding in Social Media

Once the information is collected and a central FAQ hub is designated, its time to roll up the sleeves and let people know you’re in for the long haul. Publish to all active social media accounts a post that identifies:

Summarize the situation 

An immediate call to action 

Point to FAQ hub for further updates 

Include relevant hashtags to help disseminate info 

Link or include safety tips or checklists, if applicable

Estimated time of interruption or event

Use boosted posts or paid amplification if its necessary for the post to reach specific audiences ASAP. Choose a limited duration ad or boost to reach the maximum amount of people in as little time as possible.

As the crisis continues, keep updated posts together in social media. Use Twitter threads to connect new posts to old posts, and use hashtags consistently to spread the messages broadly. Update existing posts (from the top down) rather than create new posts on Facebook. Use Instagram Stories rather than the main feed to show progress over time.

5. Use Visual Signals that Inform

Use visuals and graphics along with words to signal a change in standard operating procedure. These images can be deployed across social media accounts as a secondary way to keep audiences informed. Display names on Twitter and Instagram are easy to change. So are profile and cover images. When tragedy struck on a Southwest Airlines flight after an engine explosion, @SouthwestAir updated all social media profile images to a simple white or gray icon. It was a powerful cue; one that was done in relative silence.  

6. Build a Pressure Relief Valve

This may be counterintuitive, but you WANT people to vent on a venue you control. Whether it’s your Facebook page, blog, forum, or comments section on your Crisis FAQ microsite, you want ire to accumulate on your turf. There are four benefits to this approach:

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

If you do not proactively provide a pressure relief valve, complainants will create their own, giving you no recourse or control whatsoever.

To their credit, Penn State University used their Facebook wall as a pressure relief valve during the height of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, allowing hundreds of angry comments to be posted. But, because it was on their Facebook page, they could see, find, moderate (as necessary), and answer back. Smart.

7. Remember the response rule of 2

Social media crisis management isn’t about winning, it’s about damage control. Some people will be angry enough that you’re not going to convince them of anything.

Do not get in an online tit for tat, ever (and certainly not in a crisis scenario). Crisis management is a spectator sport. The Hug Your Haters response rule of 2 is to respond only twice, publicly. Give the agitator two responses, but no more. This demonstrates to anyone watching that you attempted to engage in a productive, constructive way, but also knew when to walk away. Move conversations that are likely to be resolved to an offline channel (direct message, email, phone) after the second response. 

8. Arm Your Army

We know where everyone works, because it’s listed on their Facebook and Linkedin profiles. If you wanted more information about the Southwest Airlines crisis, would you call their corporate communications department and wait on hold, or would you go to Linkedin and find ANYONE at Southwest to whom you had a connection. Bingo! Call centers and waiting on hold is for suckers, and every employee is a potential spokesperson. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep ALL employees informed about the crisis. Whether it’s email, text message, internal blog, Slack or similar, you must keep your employees at least as knowledgeable as the public.

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

9. Learn Your Lessons

After the crisis subsides, and you’ve dried the tears off your laptop, reconstruct and deconstruct the crisis. Document every facet:

Make copies of all tweets, status updates, blog comments, etc.

Make copies of all emails

Analyze website traffic patterns

Analyze search volume patterns

Where did the crisis break, and when? Where did it spread, and how?

How did your internal notification work?

How did your response protocol work?

Did specific customers rise to your defense? (thank them!)

Were your employees informed?

How did the online crisis intersect with offline coverage (if any)

There you have it. The social media crisis management playbook that I hope you never need. If you’d like to put a customized crisis plan together for your company, let me know. We can help.

The post Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

https://ift.tt/2SLu0jG

[byronheeutgm]

Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis

The worst time to start planning for a crisis is when you’re in the middle of one. Pre-crisis planning is key to successful social media crisis mitigation. This is lifeguard mode, and there are three elements to it.

1. Buy Some Binoculars — Set Up a Listening Program

It’s hard to deal with a crisis you can’t find. You can most effectively monitor conversations and stay aware of crises with a social media listening tool, but you can also monitor chatter by setting up keyword searches and Google Alerts. 

Technology is only good as its operators. You must have a listening protocol in your organization. Who is listening to social? When are they listening? For what are they listening? Who is covering nights and weekends?

2. Know What Is and Is Not a Crisis

Somebody sending a mean tweet or two about your company doesn’t constitute a crisis. When the volume of public outcry starts gaining speed like a boulder down a mountain before your company has a chance to gather its druthers, then its time to activate crisis mode. When identifying a crisis, here are three things to watch for: 

A social media crisis is a decisive change from the norm.

Nike and Chick-Fil-A are routinely criticized for company ethics; however, social chatter about that is ongoing and expected. That’s not a crisis. When a markedly different line of criticism occurs, that’s the first marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis has a potentially material impact on the company overall

Somebody tweeting about how Subway left mustard off his or her sandwich isn’t a crisis. Consistent reports of food poisoning from Subway is. Scope and scale are the second marker of a social media crisis.

A social media crisis can indirectly impact more than one company.

When weather events occur or breaking news happens, companies are forced into reacting to a crisis situation to which they didn’t contribute. Having a plan in place allows them to be ready to respond when the moments really count. When the company does not know any more than the public about what’s going on, that’s information asymmetry – the third marker of a social media crisis.

3. Use an Internal Alert and Response Flowchart

Not all crises have the same response teams. The more acute the issue, the more senior the responder. Create a crisis flowchart that specifies who in your organization should be contacted in different scenarios. Make certain that your front line social media and customer service personnel keep detailed, up-to-date, contact information (including home phones) for all executives.

This is also where – depending on the size and complexity of your organization – you may want to work with legal to map out some processes and pre-approved messaging. Crisis role-playing and fire drills are exceptionally useful too.

You’ve completed your lifeguard training. Now, what happens when a crisis occurs?

Here are the 9 steps to successfully managing a social media crisis.

1. Pause All Outbound Messages

If there’s even a hint of a crisis or public storm building, immediately pause all scheduled content queued to post your social media channels. Notify any social care representatives to shift to monitor-only mode. This can prevent their innocent attempts to respond before the company is ready to make a statement.   

2. Acknowledge An Issue

Your first response should always be “yes, we realize something has happened” even if you have ZERO answers. This will stem the tide of “hey company, did you know?” messages, and give the response team a chance to activate and gather information. Respond in the place where the crisis first occurs. If it starts on Facebook, post your first response to Facebook. Then determine where to go next. 

3. Create a Crisis FAQ

Determine where will be the focal point for all communications about the crisis. Create a landing page or microsite on the website, or designate a single social media channel and put all the information about the crisis in one place. This allows you to respond to questions with a link instead of an answer. This saves times and prevents misinterpretation of your responses (especially on Twitter). Update all bio links to point to the crisis FAQ.

This Crisis FAQ should include:

Acknowledgement of the crisis

Details about the occurrence

Photos and/or videos, if available

How the company found out

Who was alerted, when, and how

Specific actions taken in response

Real or potential effects

Steps taken to prevent future occurrence

Contact information for real people at the company

It probably goes without saying, but speed matters. What we ask our clients here at Convince & Convert is simple yet difficult. “Can you get a video online from your CEO within 4 hours, any time of the day or night, from anywhere in the world?” If the answer is no, you aren’t fully prepared.

4. Start Responding in Social Media

Once the information is collected and a central FAQ hub is designated, its time to roll up the sleeves and let people know you’re in for the long haul. Publish to all active social media accounts a post that identifies:

Summarize the situation 

An immediate call to action 

Point to FAQ hub for further updates 

Include relevant hashtags to help disseminate info 

Link or include safety tips or checklists, if applicable

Estimated time of interruption or event

Use boosted posts or paid amplification if its necessary for the post to reach specific audiences ASAP. Choose a limited duration ad or boost to reach the maximum amount of people in as little time as possible.

As the crisis continues, keep updated posts together in social media. Use Twitter threads to connect new posts to old posts, and use hashtags consistently to spread the messages broadly. Update existing posts (from the top down) rather than create new posts on Facebook. Use Instagram Stories rather than the main feed to show progress over time.

5. Use Visual Signals that Inform

Use visuals and graphics along with words to signal a change in standard operating procedure. These images can be deployed across social media accounts as a secondary way to keep audiences informed. Display names on Twitter and Instagram are easy to change. So are profile and cover images. When tragedy struck on a Southwest Airlines flight after an engine explosion, @SouthwestAir updated all social media profile images to a simple white or gray icon. It was a powerful cue; one that was done in relative silence.  

6. Build a Pressure Relief Valve

This may be counterintuitive, but you WANT people to vent on a venue you control. Whether it’s your Facebook page, blog, forum, or comments section on your Crisis FAQ microsite, you want ire to accumulate on your turf. There are four benefits to this approach:

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

If you do not proactively provide a pressure relief valve, complainants will create their own, giving you no recourse or control whatsoever.

To their credit, Penn State University used their Facebook wall as a pressure relief valve during the height of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, allowing hundreds of angry comments to be posted. But, because it was on their Facebook page, they could see, find, moderate (as necessary), and answer back. Smart.

7. Remember the response rule of 2

Social media crisis management isn’t about winning, it’s about damage control. Some people will be angry enough that you’re not going to convince them of anything.

Do not get in an online tit for tat, ever (and certainly not in a crisis scenario). Crisis management is a spectator sport. The Hug Your Haters response rule of 2 is to respond only twice, publicly. Give the agitator two responses, but no more. This demonstrates to anyone watching that you attempted to engage in a productive, constructive way, but also knew when to walk away. Move conversations that are likely to be resolved to an offline channel (direct message, email, phone) after the second response. 

8. Arm Your Army

We know where everyone works, because it’s listed on their Facebook and Linkedin profiles. If you wanted more information about the Southwest Airlines crisis, would you call their corporate communications department and wait on hold, or would you go to Linkedin and find ANYONE at Southwest to whom you had a connection. Bingo! Call centers and waiting on hold is for suckers, and every employee is a potential spokesperson. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep ALL employees informed about the crisis. Whether it’s email, text message, internal blog, Slack or similar, you must keep your employees at least as knowledgeable as the public.

It allows you to keep more of the conversations about the crisis in a single venue, making them easier to track.

It’s an early warning detection system for new dimensions of the crisis.

It gives your customers an official place to come to your defense (sometimes).

When your turf is the conversational boxing ring, you set the rules.

9. Learn Your Lessons

After the crisis subsides, and you’ve dried the tears off your laptop, reconstruct and deconstruct the crisis. Document every facet:

Make copies of all tweets, status updates, blog comments, etc.

Make copies of all emails

Analyze website traffic patterns

Analyze search volume patterns

Where did the crisis break, and when? Where did it spread, and how?

How did your internal notification work?

How did your response protocol work?

Did specific customers rise to your defense? (thank them!)

Were your employees informed?

How did the online crisis intersect with offline coverage (if any)

There you have it. The social media crisis management playbook that I hope you never need. If you’d like to put a customized crisis plan together for your company, let me know. We can help.

The post Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared – How to Manage a Social Media Crisis appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

https://ift.tt/2SLu0jG