#I have a better idea for you to use all that excess energy

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

I know I have a few followers. I know my content is sometimes conspiracy based. Bless your hearts because I must get your oxytocin and sera ronin levels pumping

Have some free advice

Good marriages are made with good genetic blueprints.

[finnbbl]

Hold onto me

Bang Chan Written

Prompt: With your stressful life, it wasn’t easy to find a healthy way to cope. When Chan finds you at your worst, he makes sure to let you know that you’ve always got him to hold onto.

Genre: Angst/Comfort

Gender Neutral Reader

- Warnings: Panic attacks, mention caffeine OD implied (if you squint) mentions of self harm, using excessive caffeine to cope, suicidal thoughts, i don’t think there’s any swearing?

- A/N: This was kind of a self comfort thing I wrote, but I know other people struggle with these types of things as well. I hope this can help someone out

- Requests: OPEN

Masterlist

Please read disclaimer in masterlist

*click*

The sound of yet another can being opened. Your fourth, fifth, sixth energy drink today. It was easy to lose count when your mind was in a constant haze of self-deprecation, insecurity, and loneliness. Why should you be feeling any of this? You had a loving and amazing boyfriend who would compliment and reassure you daily. There should be no reason or excuse for you to live this way.

However, you let your mind get the best of you.

You continued to down your next energy drink within 5 minutes, rubbing your forehead as you continued typing your essay for college. Life stressed you out. Once you graduated, you moved on. Moving on to adulthood, college, work, you name it. Along with all these struggles, something a little more positive wiggled into your life. Your boyfriend, Chan. He was the sweetest guy you could ask for. Nice, caring, handsome, selfless, you wouldn’t trade him for the world. Your first four years weren’t bad, a little bump here and there but nothing like high school had been. Chan had found out how hard it was for you as a teenager. He’d walked in on a close relapse but was able to stop and comfort you. Help you recover, and you did.

Well, sort of.

That’s what Chan thinks anyway. It wasn’t a total lie, it had been a clean recovery for the most part. But as college got harder, the workload got larger, your social life got worse, and all that work to get better quickly dissipated. Of course, you couldn’t let him know that. Remembering the look on his face when you had explained what you used to deal with, and what it caused you to do to yourself. It was something you couldn’t bear to see again. So, you kept it hidden.

You kept it hidden by coping with it differently. Once you realized your previous method of relapsing wouldn’t work anymore, you turned to caffeine. Your previous method involved physically scarring yourself, and you couldn’t hide it. Any caffeine you could find. Soda, coffee, tea, energy drinks. Anything that could take your mind away from the horrible thoughts that clouded your mind. So there you found yourself, sipping on your seventh one of the day. Then your eighth, your ninth, the numbers continue to increase. Proceeding to drink them like they were water, unaware of the severe health problems it could lead to. Or maybe you were aware, and just couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Bang Chan had no idea about it. It was something you could easily keep hidden by destroying the evidence. The empty cans and bottles weren’t hard to get rid of. And with your boyfriend having to stay later than usual to prepare for new comebacks, it was even easier.

You rubbed your eyes with your fingertips and yawned. The clock read 1:30 a.m. It was well after midnight, a time when most would be asleep, resting, and preparing to start their day tomorrow. However, it was a different story for you. Of course for Chan as well, although he had a different situation. Your fingers went away at the keys on your keyboard. You were determined to finish this essay, knowing you’d probably be assigned another one in a few days. Suddenly, your phone dinged. You groaned as annoyance began to flow through you. All you wanted to do was get this stupid schoolwork done and go to bed. As you were about to turn your phone on silent, something caught your eye. A notification from your friend group chat. All you could do was stare at the unopened message, watching as the amount of notifications suddenly began to get larger and larger. Some of your friends were interesting, definitely toxic but there were only a few you had left. In your eyes, it was better to have someone who treats you horribly, rather than having no one. You knew you shouldn’t, but your dying curiosity got the better of you. Next thing you knew, you were reading through several degrading comments.

All about you.

One of your friends had completely snapped at you. Half of your mutual friends had turned against you because of her twisted words. Suddenly, it was like you were frozen. Nothing felt real, and you weren’t a hundred percent sure of what was happening anymore. They were throwing insults at you left and right, and you were too exhausted to defend yourself. It wasn’t long before you zoned out, completely forgetting about the work in front of you. Letting all the negative and self-degrading insults cloud your mind. You began to bathe in self-doubt thanks to the toxicity. It had been like this for years, that one specific friend turning everyone in your life against you. It’d cause you to have an episode, she’d apologize and guilt trip you. And you somehow fell for it. Despite all this, you had a couple of friends who stuck by your side no matter what. Aware of how manipulative she could be, they understood and sympathized with you. This was how it always was. Constantly being drowned in school work and stress, your suffering continues to grow with the emotional abuse. Those thoughts were quickly interrupted as you saw headlights shine through the windows of the living room. Chan had arrived home.

The headlights soon flashed off. Only moments later did Chan slowly and cautiously open the front door. He attempted to keep the noise level down, expecting you to be asleep. Much to his surprise, you were at the dining table in front of your computer. “Baby, what are you still doing up?” He asked sweetly as he shut the front door, locking it back. “Oh, hey Chan. How was your day?” You asked him, completely ignoring his question. Taking another sip of your newly opened energy drink, your eyes didn't leave the screen. You wanted to get this over with and do your best to push out all the self-hatred that your friends dispersed into you.

His eyes briefly darted to the drink that sat on the table next to you, a tinge of worry shooting through him. It wasn’t unusual to find you up late, but it was currently almost 2 am. Doing his best to brush it off, he walked over and sat his things on the kitchen counter. “Not sure how well you’ll sleep with that caffeine in your system.” He said in a joking manner, but also in hopes of bringing you to your senses. Nothing else was said, silence painted the room with only the sound of your typing. He glanced over at the screen, seeing the endless pages of words, that’s when Chris began to wonder…

“How long have you been working on that? Maybe I can help you so you can get to bed soon.” Chan said as he walked over next to you. He put one hand on the back of your chair and his other on the table, leaning down to get a better view of the computer. It was clear he was concerned. “It’s fine, Channie. I’ll get it done within the next uhhh.. couple hours?” He was in disbelief at what he was hearing. Although you stayed up late, you never slept after 12:30. The fact that you said you’d be done when it was nearing sunrise? It shocked him. “Maybe you should just finish this tomorrow, it’s getting late y/n-“

“I know it’s late, but I need this done tonight.” Cutting him off with a sharp tone and briefly looking up at him. He took a small step back at your sudden change. “Just go to bed, i’ll be there soon.” You turned back to your laptop, running your fingers through your hair. Chan could only stand there as he tried to process what had just happened. Sure you weren’t harsh, but you’d never talked to him like that before. After a few minutes, he decided he would clean up around the house a bit. With him being at work all the time, and you busy with college and your job, the house had collected more than dust. Chris already couldn’t sleep well, and knowing you were acting like this would have made resting impossible. He thought that keeping himself occupied until you were done would help. One by one, he went through every dirty dish, every dirty piece of laundry, and every dog toy scattered around from Berry who he now kept with you two. Over an hour had passed, and you still weren’t done. He wasn’t even sure that you realized he was still in the room.

Mutually, he hadn’t even noticed you had opened up two more energy drinks since he’d been here until he saw the cans on the table. He furrowed his eyebrows. One this late was one thing, but the two large-sized energy drinks afterward were another. Something about that irked him, he was big on health. However, he figured you’d had a long day, so he kept his mouth shut as he finished cleaning the house.

Then, his eye caught something.

The trash can. His mouth practically fell open when he saw it, shocked by the amount of empty bottles and cans. Just how much caffeine have you consumed today? Chan had many discussions with you about your health, it was one of the most important factors in life to him. And it was unusual for you not to take care of yourself, he wasn’t sure what to think.

“Y/N..“ he started and caught your attention. You hummed lowly in response, with only silence to follow. He was still in shock, he’d never expect someone like you to care so little about your health. His tongue dragged along the inside of his cheek, doing his best to keep calm. “Just how much caffeine have you had today..?” Chris asked you in a lecturing tone. You rubbed your forehead and sighed before briefly turning your swivel chair around to meet his eyes. “What?” Asking him as if you hadn’t heard. Your words were laced with annoyance, unaware of the events that were about to follow.

He couldn’t bring himself to answer you, only countering with another question of his own. “How many talks have we had about how important your health is?” Your boyfriend crossed his arms as you sighed once again. “I don’t see where you’re going with this.” He figured your head must have been too jumbled to pick up what he was putting down. Chan exhaled deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes. Frustration nipped at him as he bit his tongue so he didn’t say something he’d regret. You were slowly pushing him over the edge.

“You know what, how about we put this away for the night so you can sleep.” The male had realized he was going to have to do more than just talk to get through to you. He thought that resorting to calmer words and taking more action would work. But before he could walk over and shut your laptop, you protested. “What? No, I need to get this done. I’m not finished.”

Chris bit the inside of his cheek and sighed heavily. “Again, go to bed and I’ll be there in a bit.” You continued before muttering something inaudible under your breath. It wasn’t long before your body was facing the computer once again. Anger and frustration began to course through him. What the hell had happened to you? Usually, you were calm and thought carefully about what you put in your body, but now you refused to even acknowledge that your health was declining. Not to mention, you’d gotten snappy with him. “Y/N, it is after 3 in the morning. I’m tired, I know you’re tired. Let’s go to bed and talk about this in the morning-“

“God Chan I do not need you lecturing me right now. I have shit to get done!” Cutting him off and whipping back around in your chair, you left him standing there dumbfounded. “For once, worry about yourself. I don’t need you standing over my shoulder telling me what to do.” The two of you locked eyes briefly. You don’t know what it was and what made you speak to him like that. Was it the stress? The caffeine? The self-hatred? Maybe it was a mix of it all that finally sent you over the edge. Your boyfriend clenched his fist as tears started to gloss over his eyes. A glint of hurt flashed over them before he finally snapped back.

“You know what? I don’t care anymore Y/N. Obviously, you don’t care about your health so don’t expect me to be there when fall to the ground of a heart attack!” His words shot right through your heart. Reality hit you. Immediately, your body shot up out of the chair, “Chan-“ Before you could apologize, you heard the bedroom door slam. You jumped at the loud noise. You could feel yourself start to disassociate, and it wasn’t long before you found your head buried in your hands. Silent sobs escaped through your lips. You weren’t even sure when your body gave out as you collapsed to the ground. The weight of the past month’s struggles all came crashing down on your shoulders at once. How could you be so stupid? The one person you knew you could count on to take care of you and keep you safe, you had pushed away. Realization hit as you glanced over to see the amount of caffeine you’d ingested in only 24 hours. As if on cue, your body finally started to react to it. Your heart felt as if it was beating out of your chest, your body got jittery and you’d only just noticed how much your anxiety had spiked.

A curse seeped through your lips as your cries got unnoticeably louder. At this point, your body and mind refused to forgive you. You started breathing heavier and faster as you found yourself hyperventilating, going back and forth between wanting to get better and wanting it to end. Your mind only brought back horrible memories as intense anxiety ran through your veins. The only sounds that filled the room were your cries, and the refrigerator humming in the background. It added such an eerie and unsettling feeling.

Meanwhile in the bedroom was Chan who had now changed into his sleep clothes. The events of the past few hours raced through his mind on loop. Beginning to replay your actions of the past month in his head, he searched for an answer on why you would be acting like this. You had hurt him, but it wasn’t deniable that you were most likely hurting too.

Hurt people, hurt people. He wasn’t angry, he was just worried sick. It was obvious you had been acting off, but he never knew you turned to caffeine to cope. And as if the male needed any more confirmation, the sound of your suffering slipped right through the walls to his ears. His body moved before he could think, immediately jumping up and making his way to the door.

As he opened it, he realized just how miserable you must’ve been the past month. Usually, he was one to check up on you. Doing small household tasks together and letting you rant about your day, then listen to his. But recently, that had not been the case. Something must’ve been going on that you refused to tell him. You were unaware that you’d caught his attention until you felt two strong arms wrap you in a warm embrace from behind. Your body immediately acted as you threw yourself up and into his arms. “Shh shh, it’s okay sweetheart.” Chan rubbed soothing circles over your back as he noticed how worked up you were. “Baby you’re shaking,” He briefly pulled back to meet your eyes. His fingers found their way under your eyes as he wiped away the tears that poured down your face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

You dug your head into the crook of his neck, continuing to mutter out apologies to him. “Please don’t leave me, please..” You begged him in between sniffles, which caught him a bit off guard. His lips poured into a frown. “I’m not going to leave you, why would I do that?” Chan’s tone was soft and comforting. However, the question flew through one ear and right out the other.

“I don’t want to hurt anymore Chan, please..” Confusion glossed over his eyes, you don’t want to hurt anymore? What were you talking about? His hands lifted your chin as he pulled his body back slightly to face you. “Slow down, what do you mean?” Worry made its way through his body, it was only then that he noticed just how much you were shaking. “I don’t want to do it anymore Chan, I can’t take it..” Unintentionally, pleas slipped right past your teeth. His eyes looked into yours with sympathy. “Oh, honey..” This was always something you did your best to keep hidden from him, your poor mental health. Chan was a very sweet person. Whenever he noticed that someone he loved was hurting, he made them his priority. Oftentimes, letting his health decline in the process. You had refused to let that happen. Not to mention, you weren’t sure how long he’d want to stay after seeing how weak and vulnerable you could be. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe he loved you, but your mind told you otherwise.

“What’s going on, what’s making you think like this hm?” His hand stroked through your hair, doing every single action of reassurance that he could. God how he hoped it was working. “I.. Everyone hates me and.. and I didn’t even do anything!” You suddenly broke. However, he didn’t scream, insult, or push you away. Quietly and patiently, he waited for you to continue. Making sure to keep you in a warm embrace, he did his best to soothe you. “And I’m drowning in school work and I’m just..”

"Is this about…" Chris suddenly asked you. This wasn't the first time you had come to him with a problem like this, but it was the worst by far. Your glossy eyes glanced up at his, your lips quivering as you held back tears. As if on cue, a ding was heard from the table. Followed by a few more and you immediately knew what was happening. More tears spilled down your face as you avoided eye contact. Curious, Chan looked between you and your phone. Hesitantly, he grabbed it. Anger started to run through his veins as he scrolled through all the chats. He only read a few before he decided to put it down. If he didn’t stop now, he wasn’t sure that everyone would make it out alive. The male turned back towards you, as he gently motioned for you to sit down on the floor. You began to sway, which worried him. Gently, his hands found yours. “Baby, I love you so much you know that?”

“And I want to respect whatever decisions you make because after all, it’s your life but..” He glanced back and forth between your two eyes as you waited for him to continue. This was something to be gone about carefully, the phrasing couldn’t be too harsh. “You have got to cut them off, they’re not good for your mental health and it’s starting to worry me.” You glanced up at him and then at the floor. He was right, there was no denying that. Healthily dealing with things like this was hard for you. “But.. I’m scared.”

“I know, I understand but… I’m concerned with the amount of caffeine you’re putting in your body.” Chan rubbed his thumb over your knuckle as your hand began to shake. “I thought.. I thought it would help distract me. I just wanted everything to end.” Your bottled-up feeling poured out like an ocean. Although Chan was thankful you were finally talking to him, he didn’t know what to do besides getting you help. That was going to be a challenge. “I just want you to be happy again, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you eat a whole meal. Much less anything other than caffeine.”

He sighed, “Look I know it may not be what you want to hear, but you need help Y/N.” Unexpectedly, you didn’t protest. “You need to go to a professional, can you do that for me? I’ll even go with you.” You inhaled and exhaled deeply. Doctors terrified you, which is probably why you never went willingly before. The last time you needed help, you had to be dragged there by someone. And most of the time it was Chan. Your eyes met his before slowly nodding, causing a smile to tug on your boyfriend’s lips. His hand went up to the side of your head, fixing your hair a bit. “Can you smile for me, please?”

You didn’t budge and he let out a playful sigh. “Come onnnn, pleaseeeee.” He stuck his bottom lip out to form a pout, one glance is all it took for you to fold, your lips curving upwards into a soft smile. A small giggle from him sounded as he continued to stroke your hair. “There you go… come here.” You glanced at his arms which were now open and welcoming you into them as you crawled into his lap. He rocked you back and forth muttering small positive affirmations to you. Chan was someone you would be forever grateful for. He always knew how to help and cheer you up. The mutual love you guys had for each other was unmatched. So there you two were, in each other's arms as a comforting silence began to take over. With all the caffeine in your system, you both knew it was going to be nearly impossible for you to sleep tonight. There was a long road of recovery waiting for you ahead. However, with Chan, you knew everything was going to be okay.

[feyclowns]

a look at magic and the core system

the core system explanation and my loose idea of what magic is. this uh. this got long. this is a longass post.

my thoughts on magic

i have this idea that mother nature, while creating her earlier lifeforms, used magic as a sort of bind-all, something modeled after the overarching powers of time and creation, etc- giving them extra powers and extending their life (like a kid making their first ocs). most of her older creatures are on planes higher up and function on magic. as she got better with her craft she began to appreciate the complexity of making all those bits and pieces stuff on earth has, and the faster ebb and flow of life AND death. humans are one of her favorite creations.

magic is inherently chaotic. it exists in multiple forms, on multiple planes. it's something that touches things in a biological way and yet obeys physical laws set before it. it can be stored and used up. it can create more of itself. it can corrupt things. when mother nature realized it was a bad idea to give near-unlimited power to beings when she was creating ones of lower ability on the planes below, she changed magic and the creatures that used it- gave them weaknesses, sometimes bordering on the ridiculous, compulsions too. things to keep them in check.

i also like to think you can't entirely 1:1 seelie to humans on even a biological cell-scale. they just fundamentally are different.

magic's function

the more pure magic is, the more powerful it is- magic comes in all colors of the rainbow, but different colors have slightly different attributes. one can never truly filter one color out of magic entirely, as it needs all its components to function.

with the True Fey nearly extinct, the only beings that can use raw magic without the assistance of a device or sigil are genies, and i'd argue they got quite the short end of the stick considering their compulsion.

fairies, fey and their subspecies primarily function on purple magic. this stuff is filtered, diluted, as "neutral" as one can get. if you create magic rather than consume it, and your species functions on filtered magic, you cannot handle it raw. like, your body can't handle the extra energy. physically.

magical backup is when a fairy has so much magic in their system they cannot filter the chaotic energy that magic produces and explode.

filtered magic is also, simply, on paper, easiest to use. as a third party, non-seelie magic user- use raw magic while unprepared and get evaporated while changing the laws of physics. use overfiltered magic without the correct sigils and nothing happens except maybe a bitter taste in your mouth.

onto the core system.

the core system

the neural core is where magic flows freely up towards- the filter strains clean, purple magic from the magic produced by the central core. conscious wishes are also made from the brain connected to the core here.

the central core is where magic is generated. the central core takes calories and nutrients from ingested food (fairies have a stomach that is right next to their core) and converts it into magic. the core membrane acts as a storage for filtered magic in both areas.

the core pools are located at the base of the wrists of a fairy, which are where excess magic flows and stays in anticipation of use. when a fairy exhausts the magic from their pools, they must wait until they begin to refill from the reserves in the core membranes.

the inner cores are the most important part of the system; if this part of a fairy is damaged they will die. this part also holds the data for the rest of the body- if worse comes to worse, the inner cores will maintain the body parts left and rebuild the core system before completing the rest of the body. this is in part why fairies are so gd resilient. no inner core, no regeneration.

magic threads are what magic travels along throughout the body. they are thick, wide tubes that extend through the torso and extremities. the central thread is also called a nervous thread. during pregnancy, the body creates a sixth thread (and sometimes seventh) to deliver magic to the developing child's core.

fairies produce raw magic in their central cores. they have two cores- a central and neural core, which are connected to each other through the nervous thread and extend to their magic pools and flow magic through the body by the four magic threads.

anti-fairies are where all that excess magic goes when fairies filter it out. anti fairies don't need to generate magic or filter it- they can handle it just fine. they have a simpler core layout- a thick core membrane to hold their magic and the excess chaotic magic swirling about in their inner core. this enables anti-fairies to grant powerful rule-free wishes. anti-fairies tend to have strange colored magic threads, generally aligning with the color of their counterparts' eyes.

pixies are quirky things. pixies have the same amount of cores as their fairy cousins but do not produce raw magic. they instead need to feed on magical creatures (or take their magic supplements, as provided by pixies INC) to keep their core systems afloat. another issue is that most pixies' core filters still work- which would be fine if they produced magic. pixies overfilter their magic, leading them to use a highly complicated wand (along with several binding contracts) to utilize the magic still delivered to their core pools. (it's also a phone. why not toss that in for free? Head Pixie was feeling really nice when he made that decision.)

pixies have a very large core filter and membrane in their neural core, with a small central core and large magic pools. their magic threads are thin.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Relationship headcanons for Slade Wilson & Clark Kent with gn s/o?

I kinda got carried away with the Clark relationship head-cannons that I forgot that you also wanted Slade…oops. 🦦

Baby girl

Malewife

Certified himbo

Golden retriever energy!

Heart of gold, dumb of ass-

Okay I’ll stop but you get the gist, this man would honest to god, worship you. Look me in the eyes and tell me that he wouldn’t cuz we all know he would.

No thoughts, head empty; just full of ways where he could love on you.

He’s a cutie! And he probably trips over or unintentionally hurts himself because he can’t help but admire you and all of your handsomeness/beauty/gorgeousness.

Hell I bet before you two were dating Clark’s confession must’ve been the most sweetest, heartfelt, and the most adorkable thing ever.

He would probably be on the fence whether or not in telling you he’s Superman because he doesn’t want to put you in any sort of danger but then again being in a romantic relationship with him was already putting you in danger; so he would probably have to sit you down for that conversation, hold your hands within his bigger ones and pray that you understood his reasoning behind the secrecy.

His love languages have got to be one or all of the following;

words of affirmation: he will call you any and every endearing word in the dictionary even if you were only just getting up to start your day. He’s your hype man in every sense of a word and will not allow you to be harsh or look down on yourself. He’s not having it, so he won’t hear it because how can you not see yourself the way he sees you?

To Clark, your phenomenal, exceptional, extraordinary, amazing, incredible, excellent, talented, fantastic, handsome, beautiful, charming, gorgeous and above all else; you. That’s all he wants you to be. Yourself.

acts of service: as I said before Clark lives to serve and with that I’d like to think of him taking on chores that he knows you don’t particularly like doing just so he could relieve the stress of having to do it off of your shoulders. He’d also attempt to make breakfast, but your better off helping him so he doesn’t accidentally breaks the handle off of any appliance you have at your disposal by unintentionally using excessive force.

Clark would do stuff that would be considered small to other people such as leaving out clothes you found most comfort in, neatly folded in your dresser, or bending down to help you in tying your shoes, but to you they were the biggest expressions of love one could ever experience.

Physical touch: this man is a cuddle bug and no one can tell me otherwise. Oh yeah don’t get me wrong but just because he’s stronger then the average man don’t mean he ain’t gonna hold you tight against him -though not too tight- and still be extremely cautious of the usage of his strength. he doesn’t wanna hurt you in any capacity at all. He’s so, so gentle and frequently worried about the consequences that would come if he didn’t handle you with enough care.

Hand holding is a staple in your relationship.

He’s a big spoon and a little spoon in terms of cuddling because he wants to feel as though he’s protecting you in your most vulnerable form and also wants to be comforted by you as he lays his head on your chest. It’s almost a comical sight, you spooning this Greek god of a man but it’s such a sweet and tender moment between the two of you finding comfort in each others presence and being able to be your most vulnerable with them that it completely negates all of that.

back hugs in the morning from either you or Clark because I just adore the idea of this man coming up behind you and hugging you with his strong arms caging you at the waist as his head is buried into your neck as he whispers you a good morning. I also adore the idea of you just going up behind him and hugging him as tightly as you could, not knowing that you couldn’t possibly hurt him physically even if you tried.

Quality time: while unfortunately yes, being Superman is a full time thing. That don’t mean Clark wouldn’t at least attempt in making time just for the both of you and besides you found his deep rooted want to help anyone and everyone extremely endearing and admirable; but sometimes he does need to be reminded that not everyone wants to be saved despite how difficult that maybe for him to understand. But that doesn’t mean he won’t stop trying to help. It’s the one thing no one can change about Clark.

So when you two do get some time together it’s pretty much just spent doing whatever it is that you two like to do together like watch a movie, read books, etc or separate whilst still being within the same room as one another in a comfortable silence. Clark is trying to make up for lost time but it’s the fact that he’s trying is all that matters to you.

Plz hold his face in your hands and squish his cheeks! Plz. He will melt into your hold as he brings his bigger hands up to hold against yours his face as he closes his eyes and visibly relaxes. Precious bean deserves to be pampered with love and affection.

You’d defiantly be stealing his cozy beige/cream coloured jumper. You loved how it made your hulking boyfriend look like the epitome of soft, so of course when he’s away you immediately sift through his things and pull the jumper over your body, where for the rest of the day you would be doing stuff in your shared home whilst in his clothes that were *probably* way too big for you and that you had to face the continuous task of having to push up the sleeves constantly so that they wouldn’t get in the way.

So when Clark comes home and sees you wearing his cozy little jumper, he’s utterly enamoured as though it was the first time he’s seeing you all over again. It’s cute and the soft sappy expression on his face will forever and always melt your heart; his soft blue eyes staring at you adoringly like you were the one to have painted the stars in the sky, the slight blush upon his pinch-able cheeks, and the dopey smile upon his pretty lips.

‘Something catch your eye handsome?’ You’d say one day upon catching him gawking at you from the doorway, taking great pleasure in watching him squirm and stumble over his words as he tries to justify his staring without it coming across as creepy. ‘I wasn’t- I’m sorry-‘ you didn’t let him continue as you walked over to him and moved your arms to hold his face in your hands, your thumbs running across his warm cheeks that only seemed to grow warmer beneath your touch.

‘It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything weird or creepy by it. I’m just teasing you, you know I love it when you look at me because when you look at me…I feel more seen then I ever have with anyone else.’ You admitted to him, pressing your head into his tits chest, ‘so please don’t stop looking at me in that way for it reminds me that this is real and not some fever dream.’

[bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon]

Center, Ground, Shield Exercises

Center

Within a quiet environment meditate reflecting only on yourself. There are layers to every individual that make them who they are.

The outside layers are the things involved in your life that just slightly affect you.

These are common entities registering as minor annoyances.

Mid-layers are the issues that are more important to your life.

These range from your at-work responsibilities, and to people you like and consider close.

The innermost layers are the extremely important things.

These range from family to meaningful relationships.

The location of everyone's core is near your breastbone. This is considered to be your center. Focus on this spot for a while to make yourself aware of what makes up you. Concentrate on who you are as a person. Steady your thoughts and try to find the innermost part of you. Dwell there and find a sense of balance. Try to do this to sync yourself to who you are.  

Ground

The ground absorbs energy, and with this any excess positive or negative energy can safely be transmitted to such a location.

After you are centered you need to focus on all the energy within yourself that is NOT you.

The outer and middle layers that loosely define you as an individual need to be pushed away gently from you, and any ideas or concepts you have had in life (even expectations) also need to be brushed down into the ground. Let all of this go and continue to relax and focus entirely on yourself.

I know that sometimes it is hard to let go of things that you seem to worry about, but you need to clear your energies and mind. By doing this it is letting go of all your worries and negativity within your life, and again, putting the focus entirely on to you.

This step may need to be repeated several times, until you are able to let go, focus on yourself, and find the calm and relaxation one desires.

Shield

Shields are needed to protect you and your energies from outside influences. It protects you from psychic attacks and negative energies.

You will need to be centered and grounded to achieve a proper shield.

You will need to visualize an indestructible barrier around your aura. Only you decide what comes in, and what does not.

The best way to do this is to visualize layers of what can protect you. Make sure to draw in ambient (outside) energies around you more so than within you to create a barrier shield so it may properly protect you.

Over time it will start to dissipate so repeating this step is needed when necessary. It all depends on the types of influences you let surround you.

Advanced Shields: Part 4

You will need to understand the basics to centering, grounding, and shielding first in order to attempt and accomplish these methods listed below.

Some people create constructs binding the energy to a physical set of items making a system which fuels the barrier shield so it will last longer and function more properly.

There are other individuals that only meditate and use visualization to mend any energies out of place to keep their shields in a better working progress. This method alone, however, will over time exhaust their own energies, and it is advised that replenishing those energies is needed. They should learn how to use external sources to help replenish their own energies and use them to help create a better shield system overall.

[crystalsenergy]

Draconic charts - meaning & how to read (past life personality)

Draconic charts are perfect for seeing the patterns of our Soul - until now. Therefore, this chart helps us to know our personality in past lives.

You can calculate your Draconic chart here.

The Draconic chart is there to remind us of the path our Soul has traveled - or still needs to travel - to evolve.

No Soul of an incarnated being is perfect. Don't be surprised if, when looking at your Draconic chart, you find many excesses, points that may not even manifest in this life… in my view, the Draconic chart is a snapshot of the points we have chosen to evolve in our Soul, points that we have worked on improving in this current life or in some recent ones.

This is because the Draconic chart, in the end, is directly related to the natal chart. The Draconic chart changes as we reincarnate. "But if it represents the Soul, why does it change?" Soul is not fixed, static, frozen in time.

I have an experience to share regarding a Draconic chart that can help better understand what I want to say above.

I know a person who, in this current life, has a chart somewhat opposite to what they have in the Draconic chart - literally opposite.

In the Draconic chart (which represents the condition of our Soul in most recent lives, accumulated patterns, what we have been, the truths we possess), we see a lot of Scorpio, and in the current natal chart, the person is Venusian, with Taurus in various aspects of personality. By the way, this person feels extremely comfortable with Taurus energy, so if she brought this aspect into this life, it's because her Soul has already taken some steps and integrated this point - that doesn't appear in Draconic chart.

This is because we are not born with the natal chart we have by "the force of the universe". The universe doesn't force anything. We don't have a natal chart that was given to us - instead, we define it. Our natal chart is a reflection of our current personality, and the Draconic chart is a reflection of past life patterns, the primary essence that a person possessed. This primary essence doesn't go away, you feel it there, but it evolves, no longer being just what it was on page 1.

Therefore, I see the Draconic chart as the gateway to understanding the past, but not to becoming imprisoned in it. Many end up imprisoning themselves in the past when trying to understand it. The past is past for a reason, and you have certainly changed. Well, you need to change.

"Paty, but does everything change?" Of course not. Only the necessary. And always according to our own efforts. We talk about this below, when explaining the aspects in Draconic charts.

Exactly for this reason, if the person in the example, who has a lot of Scorpio in their Draconic chart, in this current life integrates exactly the opposite sign very easily, we can conclude that this person has made significant progress in relation to their Soul's patterns. And, of course, there is still more to go.

You see, the Draconic chart is not a chart to focus all the time. This is because it represents the past, what we have accumulated in the Soul from past lives.

Every time a life ends, the lessons that make sense are integrated into the Soul; therefore, the Soul changes with each life. The Draconic chart is not a chart to be focused because if it symbolizes the past, which is merely a foundation for the present, and if we are in evolution, we are not here to look back, but to understand what we have from the past to be used in the current moment and what we still have to change, improve because it's not good yet.

Literally, my intention is to convey the idea that the Draconic chart is not a fixed chart that will not change in other lives. This chart represents the higher state in which your Soul was BEFORE you incarnated, came to this earthly experience.

The Draconic chart represents your patterns before you came here, patterns that may be being repeated or changed, issues that may have become only present or still repeat difficulties. The answer to these questions lies in the relationship between the Natal Chart x the Draconic chart.

And since the Draconic chart is not a goal but rather an awareness of what our Soul has been up to this point, the focus must truly be on the relationship between the current personality we assume and the Draconic chart. It is from these two that we see our evolution… and what state we are in relation to that.

We are beings capable of constantly evolving, and understanding this is to move forward and break the monotony of life. It is letting go of the need to be one thing forever, releasing fixed patterns and attachments to your own way of being, to understand that there is something much greater for you to achieve - to achieve from YOURSELF, always.

💜✨ TIPS FOR READING THE DRACONIC CHART 💜✨

I invite you to focus on reading from the following perspective:

Natal x Draconic

-> the lessons we commit to learning in this lifetime IN RELATION to our Soul's constant dynamics, urges, and patterns. <-

The HOUSES in the Draconic and natal charts are always the same because they represent the karmic contract we made with ourselves (karmic not in a derogatory sense, but in terms of lessons and experiences we agreed to undergo for our evolution, the journey we agreed to embark on).

In this contract, these are the areas we are working very hard to master, refine, evolve. In our lives, we are experiencing different perspectives of the same area until we understand that there don't need to be extremes, but rather integration to become broader and more complete.

✨ ASPECTS in the Draconic chart x natal chart ✨

Oppositions - Lessons through discomfort, learning from the opposite side. If there are oppositions, it appears that the necessary lessons have been developed by you in that area involving both planets. This is because the natal chart, on one hand, represents your current personality, the set of traits developed up to the PRESENT. The Draconic chart, on the other hand, represents your Soul's quests in relation to past lives, accumulated patterns that may need improvement and evolution.

Squares - Squares represent points of tension. To understand a square aspect, we can think of the signs that naturally form this aspect. An example is Taurus and Aquarius. While the former prefers things in an earthly, practical, objective manner, aiming for energy conservation, is solid, consistent, seeks comfort and security; the latter often wanders, prefers a more mental approach rather than practical, seeks reason, mental life rather than sensation, pleasure, tactile experience as Taurus does. They are distinct languages in many ways. The same goes for Aries and Capricorn. They are very different signs. Aries is instinctive, fast, immediate, impulsive, assertive, independent, often prefers something new; Capricorn is traditional, closed, melancholic, restrictive, limiting, conservative, practical, and planning. In the relationship between these signs, many things need to be adjusted or even sacrificed (which is not always good) to achieve harmony. Given all this, when reading the Draconic chart x natal chart, if you see squares, they may represent the greatest opportunity of all to learn, evolve. It will be difficult, yes, but these lessons will take you out of your comfort zone, require effort, awareness, and discipline. The keyword for squares is conflict that generates change, learning that generates growth.

Conjunctions - The joining of forces and efforts. Here, we have a tremendous opportunity for a person to be INCREASING, GROWING, and EXPANDING that point in their Soul's personality that already existed (after all, conjunctions represent the union of forces and energies that are very similar, almost identical, because they involve the same sign). It's important to examine, through an analysis of the natal chart as a whole, whether the person is 1) reaching new levels in that aspect of the personality, evolving, or 2) if the person is in a comfort zone. Conjunctions can represent points of evolution in an issue that has been repeating, meaning that you are getting better and better at what your Soul already possesses (level 1, level 2, level 3, only analogy), or it can, on the other hand, indicate a comfort zone.

Sextile - Aspects of your Soul that you are manifesting very easily in the current life, through action. Observe, through astrological analysis and your intuition, if these aspects of ease in your personality are beneficial. Is it something that represents a strong point, a force, or is it something to be improved, worked on, or even transcended? For our evolution, we cannot continue with the same old patterns if they don't lead us on a good path. If it's something that harms you more than it helps (e.g., a pride pattern), it's something you haven't evolved, learned yet, something to be improved. If the aspect represents a strength, something good (e.g., communication skills), it means a point your Soul doesn't need to evolve, and it's perfectly fine to integrate it into this current life.

Trine - The same applies here. With the difference that with trines, you see points of your Soul that you are manifesting very easily in the current life, without effort. Observe, even more in trines, also through astrological analysis and your intuition, if these aspects of your personality are beneficial. Is it something that represents a strong point, a force, or is it something to be improved, worked on, or even transcended? For our evolution, we cannot continue with the same old patterns if they don't lead us on a good path. If it's something that harms you more than it helps (e.g., a pride pattern), it's something you haven't evolved, learned yet, something to be improved. If the trine aspect represents a strength, something good (e.g., communication skills), it means a point your Soul doesn't need to evolve and it's perfectly fine to integrate it into this current life.

✨✏️ NOTES AND Q&A (some) ✨✏️

You can observe that in the Draconic chart, the cusps of the houses (Ascendant to the 12th house) are, as a rule (we have exceptions, for example, natal Libra Rising, draconic Taurus or Cancer Rising, because of degrees), in the same elements as these 12 houses in the natal chart. For example:

Natal chart: Ascendant in Taurus. Draconic chart: Ascendant in Capricorn.

"Does the draconic chart symbolize what we need to achieve?".

No. The draconic chart symbolizes the patterns of our Soul and what we were before we got here. Soul missions can be seen with the Draconic chart being put together with the natal chart.

To have a better vision of life purposes, missions, what you are here to do, you can calmly focus on your North Node and Midheaven.

And what if I don't understand and don't resonate with my personality in the natal chart but much more with the personality in the Draconic chart?

It indicates spiritual issues of disconnection from the present moment, from your process of evolution, and a focus on the past. The Draconic chart is a chart of the past, past lives, the pattern of your Soul before you incarnated. You need to honor your present a lot and not just the past, because the past serves as a lesson, a foundation, but not as a focus for life because life is movement. The great news is that you are aligned with your Soul (Draconic chart), and that means you need to learn to look at what you are now and accept that you are changing, growing, improving.

[kenphobia]

ARE YOU BORED YET?

"(Name), I get you like the gift and all... But you're squeezin' me too hard."

summary. ragatha with reader who has adhd

contents. possible ooc??; fluff, no general plot; ragatha's and reader's relationship dynamic is up for interpretation; it is implied that ragatha is a little bit into you; gn!reader

requested by. @caotictimmy

✦ Ragatha, being the sweet girl she is, finds herself worrying about you a lot. Especially when you go out of your way to make reckless decisions that could end up potentially harming you.

✦ She often uses your inability to stay focus to her advantage and distracts you away from any potential threat. Unless you're really motivated to do said threat, then she's out of ideas.

✦ Ragatha has a habit of taking over and standing over your shoulder to check if you're doing alright. As sweet as this can be for the first few times, it gets a little bit bothersome so you better muster up the courage to tell her if you happen to be the type to not say anything.

✦ If you happen to interrupt her mid dialogue, she'll just stand or sit there and listen to you talk. She doesn't really mind and as long as you look happy talking about whatever topic you brought up, then it's a good enough apology for her.

✦ In cases where you forget something in your room or misplace something, Ragatha's there to accompany and help you look for that lost item.

✦ "It'll be our own adventure! That'd be more fun than just standing around here, right?"

✦ Feeling restless? She'll hold your hand firmly and squeeze it every couple of minutes. You're allowed to squeeze back, of course, and it's been a little thing you guys do when one of you feels a little fidgety.

✦ Even if she doesn't exactly see herself as the right person to ask for advice (even if she is compared to the rest), she wouldn't mind helping you if you're stuck between two or more choices.

✦ When there's a special occasion that involves gift giving, you best bet Ragatha givimg you that special item you've been talking about for weeks. Usually it's homemade and while it may not be whar you exactly envisioned, the thought and hard work she put into her gift makes your heart swell.

✦ If you guys somehow obtain a device that lets you listen to music, the two of you would be playing all your favorite songs and dancing to it in your bedroom. It's a great way to let out some of your excess energy and Ragatha after all needs to let loose sometimes.

✦ To say it plainly: Ragatha cares about you a lot, whether you be her friend or lover, and her favorite kind of sound will always be your voice.

notes. this is extremely short i am sorry. i wanna writer more but i legit have no idea what it's like to have adhd depsite doing research on it. i did consult my friend who has adhd and got permission to use them as ref for this headcanon.

but ty to the requester for starting up my tdac x reader writer career <33

[ascendanttarot]

PAC: Reassuring Messages From The Universe

Hi everyone! I have a feeling some people may need a pick-me-up at the moment hence why I made this reading. I think this may be my longest reading so far! There will be signs listed before to ensure the message is for you. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. At the end, each pile will also have a quote and channelled song to listen to that resonates with your reading. The specific lyrics that I heard are listed below the title. :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right, Pile 1, 2 & 3.

Pile 1

Signs:

You may be a Lana Del Rey fan, or at least have one of her songs be your one of your favourite songs

You may be really creative. Specifically, I see most of you here are artists because I just saw an image of someone’s hand covered in paint like a make-shift palette to find the right colour, or someone wiping away excess paint on their skin

You may be left-handed. To be honest, this kind of relates back to the art thing because I just heard someone swearing because their pencil sketches were smudged by their hand again lol

You are a ride-or-die friend. I’m not picking up any signs that the people who picked this pile could be ‘low maintenance friends’ because all I could feel was a loyal and passionate heart, particularly towards their friends

Okay this is an odd message but some of you here are DEHYDRATED, like you’re not even thirsty anymore this is beyond that. Please drink some water if you haven’t at all today

Back to music here, but do some of you spend hours making playlists? I just saw someone using a lot of their free time to curate playlists. I even saw some of you here like making playlists for specific people

Another weird message here but I just smelled crayons, so I’m interpreting this in a few different ways: you may be connected to your inner child, or you may work with children/have plans to work with children, or you would like to be a parent/are a parent

Your Cards: The Emperor, Knight of Cups rx, Page of Wands rx, Justice rx, The Star, 10 of Pentacles

Your Reading:

Okay, the first thing I heard while looking at these cards were the words, “Lost time” and I think that sums up half of your reading quite well.

The cards show that at the beginning of this particular situation, you felt like you were fully in your power. A very Mars-dominant energy to be in, or an Aries energy to be in wherein you felt like you could take on anything. It’s like this was a time when your confidence was at an all-time high about yourself, but also about something. For most of you, this ‘something’ was a project. For some of you, this could be a relationship. The point is, this was something in your life you felt was given to you like you’ve waited for this and finally you’ve got it, but that hope didn’t last.

As we moved on, I felt heavy feelings of frustration. Like you were ready to spring into action but something or someone else was telling you to wait, like they were stringing you along. At the back of your mind, you knew you were being taken advantage of, but you decided to stick with it anyway. I just heard, “It’s worth it.” So maybe this was something you wanted for so long that you felt like you had to stick to it because you couldn’t see how another opportunity could be better than this. I’m really sensing this was a career move for some of you here. Maybe some of you were promised a promotion but you didn’t get it. Maybe some of you were given false hope by a higher-up that this project idea of yours would be taken seriously, but you just had to wait for the right time.

And these people kept giving you excuses. If this were a relationship, I could sense that maybe this was someone who you thought would be ready to fully commit to a relationship, but they never ended up being mature enough to make that decision. It could even be a platonic relationship, and this person wanted you and them to be more casual friends, but you were ready to be a ride-or-die as I’ve stated in the signs above. The overwhelming feeling here is that you got the shorter end of the stick.

But, of course, this doesn’t last. The universe is trying to tell you that if you were broken down before and were able to build yourself back up again, then you can do that now. For most of you, I feel you’ve already left this situation and are worried that this was a mistake, and that you shouldn’t have left in the first place, but the cards are saying otherwise.

Your hope was burned out because of what you’ve gone through. You’ve sacrificed your hope and your sense of self, but the next chapter of your life won’t ask you to do that anymore. If anything, this new chapter will nurture all of those traits you have always felt were intrinsically part of who you are.

If this were a relationship, you’d probably take a break from dating for a while, but your friendships will be a cornucopia of love and support, with new and old friends alike. If this was a job or project, a new opportunity will not only cause success, but stable success. The universe is giving you the new direction you need. “One door closes so the other one opens.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Your Channelled Song: Let The Light In by Lana Del Rey and Father John Misty

“Put the Beatles on, light the candles, go back to bed”

“Put the TV on and the flowers in a vase, lie your head”

“Ooh, let the light in

At your back door yelling 'cause I wanna come in

Ooh, turn your light on

Look at us, you and me back at it again”

Pile 2

Signs:

You may be a blunt and direct person, and you may have even gotten in trouble for this in the past. Really, I could sense you’re just a BS detector. I also saw someone rolling their eyes and saying “C’mon, talk to me straight I’ve got things to do!” haha!

I just heard ‘homebody’, so I feel like plenty of introverts have picked this pile!

You may be the sarcastic, unintentionally funny friend. If you know you know. But to specify I saw someone in a group setting saying something like “I hate half of the people in this room/I didn’t want to go—I got dragged here by my friends, please don’t talk to me” and someone laughing because they didn’t think you were serious (You were)

You’ve got a dry/witty sense of humour when you do try to make a joke intentionally, but either no one gets it, or it may be a touch too dark for their taste (Nothing problematic though!)

I got tempted to swear so many times writing out these signs so you may swear a lot. Like sometimes, if you’re in a professional environment you may find it difficult to filter out your words because of how automatic it is for you

I also feel like you’re really articulate. The first word I actually thought to describe your humour was ‘sardonic’ and I wasn’t even sure what that word meant so I can guarantee you that did not come from my mind (Yes, I had to Google the meaning)

For astrological signs, you may have Scorpio and/or Virgo in your chart. Possibly a stellium. With how active your mind is coming through in this reading and how much communication is highlighted in this section, I would not be surprised if your dominant planet is Mercury, or if you have many aspects involving that planet in your chart

Your Cards: The Hermit rx, 2 of Cups, 5 of Swords, 2 of Swords rx, King of Wands

Your Reading: Pile 2, please don’t get mad, but when I opened up to your energy, I was expecting a different message than what I delivered right now. I was ready to get serious, to go into deep waters and dive face first. But when I saw the cards… I may or may not have audibly giggled.

Not in a bad way! Hear me out before you scroll, I promise I’m saying this with the same fondness as a best friend, but pile 2, I know you’ve been in hermit mode for a while and are very comfortable staying there, but the universe isn’t really going to let that slide. For most of you, I could see you not wanting to go out but being pushed to do so by a friend. For some of you, you’ve even been convinced by some of your close friends to go on blind dates or new places to meet people in general, and you go but you really don’t want to.

The message here is clear: You’re going to meet someone new. For most of you, this will be a romantic partnership. For my aromantic folks or my readers who are simply not at all interested in romance, this will be a platonic relationship. Whatever this is, I could specifically see one person here coming out of nowhere and earnestly offering you love or friendship with respectful persistence, you wouldn’t even know what to do with them at first. I think a lot of you here have closed yourself off, not to your pre-existing close relationships, but to new people. This person is going to test that wall you’ve built around yourself and despite how much you try to intimidate them, they are not going away. Think of someone with ‘golden retriever’ vibes, which is funny because as I was tapping into your energy I got ‘black cat’ vibes from you. (I just heard, “The Arthur to my Merlin” and “The Gwen to my Morgana” whether platonically or romantically doesn’t matter, but wow, do I have some Merlin fans/old Merlin viewers in this pile)

In all seriousness though, I don’t think you have this boundary up for no reason. I’m seeing a very specific message of someone in the past that you used to trust no longer being in your life because they’ve done you wrong. This could possibly even be a betrayal of trust? Like you told them a secret, but they shared it with one person, and it quickly spread through word-of-mouth. The severing of that relationship was as fast as the betrayal done by the other person.

This made you more guarded towards newer people in your life. But also, I could see this even had a domino effect making you wary of new experiences and environments too because you’re scared you’ll meet a new person that way.  The universe is saying this past relationship has clouded your judgment and will cloud your judgment when you meet this new person. What you don’t realise is that this person could actually be good for you if you take a chance. Some of you may be worried about co-dependency. The universe is actually saying that a relationship like this will actually make you more independent, and this is because this person is emotionally mature enough to actually commit. They’ll give, you’ll take. You’ll give, they’ll take. It feels like two people who genuinely see each other as equals, and therefore respect each other as such. Their commitment and genuine belief in you will make you a more confident person in the future, but more importantly, you’ll be bolder in your choices in life. You’ll grow to have a brave heart that other people will appreciate in you, and that you’ll appreciate in yourself. “Fortune favours the bold.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Channelled Song: King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men

“We won’t run, and we won’t run, and we won’t run”

“I’ll be here to hold your hand”

“'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart”

Pile 3

Signs:

Your sun sign may be an earth sign or an air sign. I also feel like some people who picked this pile may be a Leo rising or have a Leo Midheaven, but more on the Leo rising actually

I feel like some of you here may have curly hair

You may be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community

You prefer winter palettes over lighter and pastel colours for your clothes. I’m not getting a specific style but the colours here are striking. Either an all-black outfit but with the same shade of black making you appear more put together, or someone wearing jewel-toned colours like emerald green or a very striking purple

You may like wearing statement pieces. I saw this image of you in someone else’s point of view, admiring a watch you always wear or commenting on how they know you’ve just been in the room because they smelled your perfume. Picture this, someone walks into an office and just says, “Was pile 3 here—actually, you don’t need to answer that I know they were here.” And the other person who doesn’t know you getting really confused so they clarify by saying, “Oh, I know they were here because they’re the only one in this building that wears (insert fragrance here)”

Some of you here may have a ritual of listening to music in the morning while you’re getting ready to hype yourself up. All genres are coming up right now, (No, seriously. It went from Gangsta’s Paradise to successful by Ariana Grande songs to It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)) but what unifies these songs together is that it’s there to put you in a good mood in the morning

You may be interested in working for yourself by either starting a new business or working your way to the top. Highly ambitious energy coming from this pile, but in all the best ways possible; it makes your energy infectious. Yes. That word specifically. Just a really great energy to be around

Your Cards: 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, High Priestess, The Star (clarified by 3 of Cups)

Your Reading:

Okay, I want to preface this reading by saying that this pile feels similar to pile 1. You may not have had the same circumstances, but the arc is similar, so if you are attracted to pile 1, feel free to read it as a supplementary reading after this.

There’s a very clear energy here that you may have had a falling out with people in your life. This could be a group of co-workers, friends, or even family members. There was chaos surrounding your previous situation and you felt like people were constantly at each other’s throats. If it was not as aggressive as this, it is possible that at the very least you were in an environment you did not feel safe. I think these people showed their true colours, so to speak, and it made you realise how you shouldn’t have trusted certain individuals involved. The thing is though, I can feel you being an outsider in this situation. Like from the start of all of this, you made it clear to everyone you did not want to get involved. I literally just heard, “Get over yourself.” from this pile, so maybe some of you here may even feel that people were blowing up a whole pile of nothing, and/or that they all needed to act more maturely about the situation. I also feel like one person may have taken something personally when they shouldn’t and that could’ve made you particularly frustrated because you felt this person missed the point completely.

I could see that you tried providing counsel to try to smooth things out, but no one listened. This was your last straw. You left or will leave this situation and the universe applauds you for doing so. I think a lot of people in this situation had a victim complex. This is not a judgment on them, it’s simply a message that they have a lot of unhealed wounds they need to work on. You didn’t stand by this though, and this led to you making your boundaries clear and cutting yourself off completely. For some of you, this may be a temporary situation (I heard, “Fix this or don’t bother coming back.”) but for most of you, this may be a temporary step away from these people.

The universe saw that you trusted your gut and left and are rewarding you as such. I think you have a logical mind and are not used to making decisions intuitively, but this all happened because you did what felt right, and this show of trust is going to lead to positive effects.

For the people who picked this pile, I’m getting a strong message that your intuition is a muscle, and that’s true for most people but it’s especially true for yourself. I think you’ll be asked to make more quick decisions in the next phase of your life, Some decisions have larger consequences than others, but most will be small and trivial decisions such as, “Which café should I visit today?”. Before you might’ve picked the familiar or logical option, but now you’re allowing more spontaneity in your life, and this may even surprise you a little bit. I just heard one of your friends saying, “But you always go there!” and seeing you shrug before saying, “Well, I’m in the mood to try something new.”

This will reward you with a new sense of self. The 3 of cups traditionally has a more social meaning, like friends who see each other as equals coming together to celebrate, but for you, I could see this as different sides of yourself finally living in harmony with one another. With all of that stress gone, you’ll finally have the chance to recognise how deeply complex and interesting you are, and you’ll do so with an acceptance you may have not known you needed. “To know myself is to love myself.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Channelled Song: “New Person, Same Old Mistakes” by Tame Impala

“I can just hear them now

"How could you let us down?"”

“Two sides of me can't agree”

“Feel like a brand new person… I don’t care I’m in love”

[spectral-snippets-and-drabbles]

Beware the Blob Mafia

Where Danny is younger (12-ish) wants to be an entomologist (Insect Scientist) instead of an astronaut and develops a different core as a result...an Insect core!

Also, I kind of headcanon that Blobs are animal ghosts and Zone-born ghosts while Shades are intelligent Sapient ghosts who crossed over the the Infinite Realms.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~

• It all started when a blob got caught in the middle of a fight with one of his rouges. The little blob remembered Danny when he released it and a small bundles of them from his parents' traps. Intially, they saw the boy as an unusually powerful newborn predator, so they tended to stay away to avoid being eaten by him up until they realize he was purposely freeing several dozens of them from the bad human scientists with no sinister intent.

- They decide to form a symbiotic relationship with Danny by becoming a loyal swarm in the hopes of staying close to him as protection, as they are lowest on the food chain. The young Halfa has no idea they imprinted on him, he thinks they're just being extra friendly.

Blobidious (as Danny named him) and his group bring refined ambient ectoplasm and human food to their protector to keep both sides of the Halfa nourished. They unintentionally stole from random restaurants, stores, and homes for a little while until Danny catches wind of food going missing from people's houses and has to teach them to not do that. Though, the occasional Nasty Burger wouldn't hurt anyone...a small fee in the shape of a combo meal for keeping Amity Park safe, if you will.

- Thankfully, Sam and Tucker help by having food stuff stashed away in their rooms at their houses for the little battalion to grab for him when he's hungry, as his own home is to dangerous.

• As time passes, Danny's new ghost core slowly evolves to become a living hive/den for blob ghosts to live in where they rest after a day of successfully working on collecting nourishment for their protecter. With the area around his core becoming a small pocket dimension that serves as the main nesting area for them, adorned with a honeycomb pattern over its surface.

- Danny's human body has also evolved to hide the ecto signature of the swarm and himself as a defense mechanism, making the Fenton household defenses unable to detect their ecto signatures, much to his surprise and relief. When he transforms for the first time after his body successfully completes its metamorphosis, he appeared more insect-like in the beginning.

(Think like Devorah from MK series.)

Due to the nature of having a bestial core, he can transform into a large variety of Insect/Human forms and utilize their abilities via his Obsession with bugs. Danny's already insane strength and skill set being amplified by using the powers of the most unique insects on the planet.

• Danny's naturally produced ectoplasm from his body combined with the refined ambient ectoplasm collected by the swarm creates a ghost jelly. As he uses it to revitalize himself for the first time, the effects are almost instant, with wounds healing themselves rapidly and finding himself full of energy that lasts for days with no need for sleeping or eating. Due to the energy crash, he uses it sparingly, which causes an overflow resulting in a leaky core and him puke up the excess amounts.

Not wanting to have it happen again, he lets his swarm have the excess as reward for everything they've been doing for him, completely unaware of the hell he was gonna unleash on everyone with this offering to his little buddies.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~

• They proceed to evolve rapidly and become much more powerful as a result of eating the jelly. They begin to specialize and diversify their roles to better aid their boss to help him succeed and survive in Amity's ghost-ridden madness. Their symbiosis has resulted in Danny learning a form telepathy only he and the Swarm can communicate with.

From the simple blob ghost, Collectors, Warriors, Hunters, Scouts, and Workers arise to fill new roles. What's more astounding thing is the fact that they aren't just stronger, but have a higher intellect and can think and behave with reason, picking up on Danny's thought process and following his lead.

- Collectors are tasked to seek out ambient ectoplasm and food for the Danny. They also evolved in a way to leech it from hostile ghosts and follow hunters/soldiers to aid in subjugation. They can even drain humans attackers of their stamina and emotions, stripping them of their will to fight and leaving them unable to act.

- Soldiers are responsible for accompanying Danny to fights and following his orders on the field. They are also tasked with protecting the civilians from other ghosts looking to cause harm and evacuate the nearby area. The townsfolk were intially terrified, seeing monstrous ghost bugs, but calmed down knowing that they were Phantom's " pets", ready to defend them all.

- Hunters specialized in stealth, ambush and hit-and-run tactics, purposely venturing out into Amity Park and seek out his rouges in packs and dragging them back after paralyzing the offenders to be souped with a few Collectors in tow to squeeze 'em dry.

- Scouts are the crew that watched over Danny when he sleeps or when he's unable to transform into Phantom at the time, patrolling Amity Park for ghostly activity. If they saw/sensed a nearby ghost, they would emite a pheromone to alert the horde.

- Workers kept their intial blob form and stay inside Danny to be on standby to strengthen his body via nurturing it and repair it from the inside, taking the non-combat role; focusing on healing his wounds and making his body much more durable and healthy by merely being the caretakers of their boss. Thanks to their continued efforts, it increases the space for small pocket dimension to carry things he would need and increase the capacity for the swarm's hive.

His body is at its peak and the definition of perfect health. Perfect sight, hearing, strength with a quick healing factor for a boy young as he!

• Danny was intially surprised when the Swarm first came out of their volition to fight and was worried for them. But after seeing them pull a Cujo and transforming into Insect monsters of various sizes to beat down the unsuspecting victim rouge (Box Ghost), he's relieved that they're safe and he's excited that he's no longer alone in the literal fights against ghosts and that his friends don't have to jeopardize themselves without proper backup.

• Meanwhile, Danny's rouges are having an awful time in the wake of his growing bond to his Swarm. They can't enter the living world without a literal army of blob ghosts waiting for them to pop out the portal.

- Skulker tried to hunt them down only resulting in him getting his suit torn to shreds by the Welp (Phantom/Danny) when one of his blobs got hurt by the hunter's stray shot.

- Ember tried to pull a Pied Piper and force them under her control, but it only resulted in her guitar getting badly damaged and her ectoplasm sucked out of her by the Collectors.

- Spectra and Bertrand developed a severe phobia of insects after they brought her scheme crashing down and nearly killed them both after she tried to manipulate Danny like in canon, reveling in his despair until it brought the full fury of the swarm to make the attempt to destroy her when she made him upset. The swarm would've succeeded if Danny didn't call them off and she hasn't returned from the Zone since.

- Technus kept having his machines melted by corrosive acid being spat at him and ripped apart with the insane bite force of the insects assaulting him.

- The only one who managed to get passed them was Cujo. The pup's obsession wasn't destructive in nature and took a liking to Phantom and his hundreds of friends, even going as far as to acknowledge Phantom and even listen to him, making him get a pass while the others were stuck in the Zone, totally not jealous.

• The ghost pup was able to be stopped by Danny and the Swarm before he could destroy Axion Labs, making Val see the infamous "Spectral Skitter" in a more positive light.

She was a little mad, but seeing Phantom laughing as he gave the ghost puppy his favorite toy gave her a somber reminder that they both, the puppy and the ghost boy, had died way too soon. Val would still become Red Huntress, but less out of revenge, but to find out more about Phantom, becoming the 4th person to know Danny's secret.

• Vlad is rather good in this au! The sting of Jack and Maddie's abandonment made him a recluse and he refused to try and find happiness out of fear of being abandoned again. Causing his once green ectoplasm to become a shade of violet, as it was his pent up love made manifest.

- But Vlad wouldn't let that stop him, nor would it hold him back in life! He came into his own in Wisconsin after starting a successful chain of brands revolving around dairy goods, using a small portion of the earned funding to research ghosts in his free time using actual methods of study and not the havoc he's heard regarding a certain set of ectobiologists. He honestly can't help but be worried about young Daniel and Jasmine. He can only imagine that whirlwind of a life the children must have, having his former friends as parents.

- After making enough progress, his therapist suggests Vlad getting back out there and try giving the socializing scene another shot, as the Halfa himself mentioned that he missed companionship during their last meeting. Being socially inept, he decides to transform and look around for potential associates while invisible. So lost in thought that he ended up in Illinois on accident when his ghost sense went off like a bomb.

- He jaw fell open when he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He saw giant ghost insectoids that were taking down several Ecto beasts being led by Skulker, who seemed to have tamed (intimidated) them to his side. Another group was taking the people far away from the fighting and standing guard over them. Despite his curiosity being peaked, Vlad couldn't help but groan loudly and facepalm. The tin can tried skinning the older halfa in the past, only for it to end with the said Halfa threatening to destroy the little nuisance's core if he kept it up. He hadn't had a problem since, but seeing the "Greatest Hunter" again made his eye twitch something fierce.

"When I get that welp's pelt I'll–"

"Prove to everyone that you're the greatest hunter ever and yada yada yada...Soup Time!"

Along with his defeated beasts, Skulker is absorbed into the Fenton Thermos and Phantom powers down back into his human form after hiding in a nearby alley...not even realizing that Vlad just saw him do that.

• Vlad immediately knows that this is Daniel Fenton, due to looking up the Fentonworks Website in the 'About Us' page and seeing the major similarities between the "two" boys". He also knows that Phantom is labeled as the "Ghost Menace"...who was constantly being hunted by Jack and Madeline, getting shot at like it's open season, causing needless destruction in their wake...like how they tried to hunt him a few years prior...

- Knowing Jack and Madeline, This makes poor Vlad's mood go from bad to infinitely worse because that meant that they had no idea that they've killed their own child (like him, oof) and have been hunting him since his first appearance in Amity. He immediately retreats back to his castle and has a severe panic attack.

• After calming down, Vlad will probably try to murder his old friends like in canon by inviting the family to his place, but it comes from a messed up sense of needing to protect Danny from his disastrous parents, seeing the younger as a victim of his parents recklessness. It takes a lot of convincing, but Danny is able to get him to stand down and explain that his parents aren't as dangerous as he says they are. Except Vlad had made very good counterarguments that made the younger Halfa question the doubts he had about his parents.

- It doesn't help that the original members of his swarm don't answer when he asks for a biased opinion in his favor. Surely his folks would still love him once he tells them what happened down in the lab...right? Danny makes the protocol "Friend or Foe" with Sam and Tucker and creates a guideline depending on which way the wind blows that fated day.

- Vlad gave him his number, a key, and a room for him to stay at the castle should he be inclined to take the offer should the worse come to pass. Telling the young badger that he had a place to retreat to in case things goes sideways and someone willing to train him as well.

• Jack and Maddie are up to their usual activities, but they meet more resistance by both the ghosts and people of Amity Park.

- The blob ghosts they usually catch to turn their ectoplasm to power their weapons or experiment on have made an alliance with Ghost Boy, Phantom, who made them far more powerful and elusive than they previously were. It doesn't help that their failed attempts to grab one usually end up with some form of property/vehicle damage while Phantom and his monsters scatter and vanish as soon as they arrive.

- People are genuinely looking to the literal ghost child (Phantom) for protection and has been keeping the streets of Amity Park safe from ghosts more than the proclaimed "Ghost Experts". He even began rehabilitating most of his old enemies at this point and helped them find non harmful methods for them to fulfill their obsessions at this point of the timeline. They couldn't defeat him or his army, so they yielded and gave his methods a chance with good degrees of success.

When a curious person (Jazz, the daughter of the town ghost experts) "asked" about a ghost's obsessions and why they fight, Danny goes into extreme detail (thank you, Clockwork and Pandora!) about why it is a ghost would do the things they do, debunking many ectobiologists theories and scientific discoveries made by the field of study.

• It felt like a slap in face and all their hard work was being undermined.

- This causes a screaming match between Maddie and Phantom. Both who are refusing to back down and causing a crowd to form.

"You're kind are danger to humans!"

"Have you seen how you nutjobs drive!? There's a reason nobody parks their cars on your street! You're a living road hazard!"

"You ghosts have been terrorizing the town!"

"Excuse me!? We've been PROTECTING it from your mistakes! Maybe if you actually studied ghosts instead of labeling us non sentient and cutting us up and making them live ammunition, you'd get better results!"

• It just keeps going until something in Danny starts snapping. He's already past sobbing and red in the face with panic and anger, the swarm is practically going feral as they sense the distress rolling off of him in waves, waiting for these humans to dare to make a move. Snarling, hissing and growling could be heard from hundreds of creatures slowly manifesting in the sky, floating with eyes glowing blood red.

People begin to start to worry out as they never seen Phantom's pets like this before...but then again...holding guns up to a kid who died recently and protects them from both the ghosts and the Fenton's daily madness isn't exactly a good image.

"You may have fooled everyone else, but you haven't fooled us, Phantom Menace! If we let our guard down, your kind will exploit us and we'll all be paying for it!"

And just like that...the final thread self control snaps and Phantom explodes. His scream of anger is amplified by his swarm and takes out most of the devices powered by ectoplasm.

Pay for it...PAY FOR IT!? WHAT DO YOU NOW ABOUT "PAYING FOR IT" WHEN ALL THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!? ALL BECAUSE YOU MADE A LITERAL PORTAL TO HELL! YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH GHOSTS YOU HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME..."

The silence that came after was deafening and as the "good doctors" try to object, they themselves are stunned into silence as well when a ring forms around Phantom's waist and reveals who he actually is. Gasps and shouts of surprise are heard as a teary eyed boy stares down at his parents from a roof, glaring icy daggers with tired eyes.

"You were always in the lab, for days on end, as Jazz and I grew up. She put up with it and accepted the fact that work took priority, but I didn't! I hated that stupid portal and I went into the damn thing trying to make it work so you could pay attention to us again...but it turned on with me inside because a "genius" put the power button inside...which I hit on accident...making me die alone!

My grades dropped off a cliff because I had to step up and take responsibility for YOUR obsession with ghosts! I lost so much sleep because there were threats almost every other day trying to cause problems for Amity Park! Jazz was almost murdered and I almost had to kill the ghost to stop her from harming my sister! I had to literally beat my rogue's gallery into submission so they could behave and to protect them from ghost hunters so I could get to live a semi-normal life again! My so-called evil "parasites" have been helping me out keeping everyone who saw me as some weird freak safe since we teamed up and I won't let you slander them or myself anymore!"

It made the people of Amity feel sick to know the truth. The small kid who likes bugs who was supposed to barely start high school was the same friendly ghost who constantly charged into battle to keep everyone safe. His friends and enemies alike were under his protection out of the kindness of his heart when he could've easily used his powers for mischief, or worse, evil. As the realization began to sink in, people began to whisper and mutter to each other.

"An actual kid was defending us the whole time!?"

"Bug-a-Boo was really just a kid..."

"Danny Fenton is the Spectral Skitter!?"

"THEY KILLED THERE OWN KID!?"

That's what made people turn on the Fentons with the looks of disdain and anger. People were forming a protective ring around Danny as they continued to bombard his family with accusations and throwing insults. "Hey, Jazz is innocent in all of this, so leave her out of the hate mob! My sister barely found out and has been taking care of me better than our own parents well before I died...was there for me when things were at their worst fighting back the ghost..."

As the two Fenton siblings looked at each with soft, reassuring smiles, the tender moment was ruined when a blast went off, screams were heard and Danny stumbled back in shock at the sudden pain and blood blooming in his chest. It didn't punch through him fully, but cracked his ribs and now he was on the ground in pain. The shooters fate was sealed when a soldier's stinger punched through the attacker's leg with an ecto blast before the swarm and began fighting men in white suits, the attackers being overrun quickly and being mangled savagely before stopping at Danny's order before fainting.

In their desperate attempt to get Danny to safety, the swarm grabbed his unconscious body and hurriedly went through the Ghost Portal before blowing it up, preventing the Guys in White from doing more damage. There, they were greeted by Danny's greatest ally, Clockwork, and Yeti named Frostbite who wished to help their Boss. With reluctance and cries of sadness, they gave him to the beastman and hoped for the best.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Thank you! So here I am to infodump, full of gratitude, and you can post this if you want no problem it's just a bunch of scattered ideas so yeah. Feel free to chuck suggestions at me too! I really don't know what to do with these... building blocks just yet.

Akatani Mikumo is Midoriya Hisashi.

Toshinori gets sandwiches by the Midoriya couple and it turns into an OT3 but that's much later down the line.

Hisashi is a journalist, keeps getting into everybody's business and Knows™ more than he frankly should.

Hisashi is a Cryptid™. But of a different energy from his son who is all lightning-in-a-bottle jittery On The Verge Of Throwing Hands feral sort of cryptid, Hisashi is mostly of this... supernaturally unflappable blank-faced chill entity.

Who keeps spooking people bc No Footstep sounds.

And might possibly be partially mute or just ridiculously soft-spoken bc when he tries to speak at normal volumehis fire-breathing quirk goes ballistic.

Might or might not have bloodline relations to AFO. Origins ambiguous, Inko just literally plucked the (then) teen off a back alley like he was a stray cat.

Also might or might not have more than one quirk, see the probable AFO connection.

Izuku got his mumbling thing from Hisashi.

A cryptid man who seems normal enough except a little off-kilter, like two inches to the left of what's a “normal” man? Weirdo but nobody can pinpoint how or why. That's the sort of vibe I want with this Hisashi.

And some Wack™ backstory lore I came up w for Hisashi, I dunno what I'll do w it but:

Cw: mention of infant murder, bc I'm Me™ and I was thinking about Yotsumegami (it's my favorite game) and how my version of Hisashi would tie in with it.

Yanno how in Yotsumegami “unwanted children” (children with disabilities, the younger of a twin pair or every sibling except the eldest in triplets or higher, etc) would be killed (it's a real historical practice in Japan, mabiki, they called it) or something like that? Would be kinda fun if an offshoot of that variety existed in the BnHA world, even if it's not outright child murder kids would be abandoned, especially in the chaos of the Dawn of Quirks. People who were scared of quirked people would abandon their quirked child, quirkist folk abandoned their quirkless children, it's chaos.

It would be more prominent during the initial chaos, though I guess laws and stuff would've been passed later on to prevent it or at least cut down the numbers— and the practice fizzled out but there's still a few remote rural villages who accept “unwanted” children.

One such secret community could be like, giving the surname “Akatani” (red valley, for the red of spider lilies used in mabiki in times past) to the children that were discarded at their metaphorical door. Do they still practice mabiki? Debatable. But it's like a giant secret orphanage with questionable, cult-like mentalities.

Akatani Hisashi was one of those until he miraculously escaped and tried to survive in the outside world.

Or maybe he didn't have the Akatani surname at first bc nobody in the remote village had any surname but once he got out he might've created the surname as a way to hm, not quite honor but carry his origins into his new life.

(maybe Yoichi was almost mabiki'd too, like I said I'm still not entirely sure where I'm going with this)

So Izuku gets to grow up w two parents who care a great deal for him. Maybe they move away, resulting in Izuku not having to deal w Bakugou in his childhood. Maybe Izuku makes friends with some other future 1-A classmate.

The Commission keeps trying to track down this one rogue “vigilante reporter” whose name is unknown. And they keep failing because Hisashi (along with his son and excessive gaggle of... comrades? followers? does the Midoriya family accidentally create an organization of rabid info gatherers?) is a certified cryptid.

Izuku has his hands in so many pots. He's a lot more nosey than in canon probably?

Endeavor had better be prepared bc his entire way of life is about to go up in smoke

I don't know why but I just have this very strong feeling that Stain doesn't like Hisashi for one reason or another.

I... wouldn't be entirely opposed to the AU just chucking Bakugou out the window so that he's not in 1-A (or in UA at all, fuck that pomeranian) and instead is replaced by another loud blond...

Fucking Monoma, LMAO.

A lot of the AU is just ?????? for now and most of it is Hisashi backstory but hnnnnng I want to do something with these jigsaw pieces I just don't know what

Also I'll be sending in Hisashi's design in a non-anon ask but could you append it to this ask's answer instead? Thanks!

I adore everything about this!?!?!

Also I didn't get another ask, anon or not, so Tumblr might have eaten it

[cherrylng]

Matthew Bellamy & Dominic Howard & Chris Wolstenholme interview - Muse [ROCKIN'ON (May 2000)]

"I think we're more honest about the times we live in than Radiohead."

Face this irreverent ‘beautiful mess’! While roaring demons and falsetto angels make a secret pact, Muse recaptures the physicality of rock with their superb technique and excessive staging, and even celebrates despair with all their might. There is no blind spot for these guys!!

Interview: Naoya Kida / Interpretation: Noboru Takami / Photography: DAISKE

Muse's showcase in Japan was a spectacular show that relentlessly hit the ‘sound of the times’. Matthew Bellamy's vocals, which utilise an idea that no one had thought of before - alternating between an effects-processed microphone and a normal microphone - attempt to represent all inner "voices" such as sadness, loneliness, joy, and madness, as well as his excessive performance in which he wields a modified guitar like a sword and his insane, virtuoso technique. He stepped through the dirt board that was placed on top of progressive rock and stole the techniques, mastered the sad melodies and flamenco rhythms in Spain, and possessed the "miraculous falsetto" of Jeff Buckley, who was supposed to be dead - I could only laugh and surrender to the possibilities of such outrageous rock.

Far from the objectivity of Radiohead, who reflect the world as it is, Muse lives in chaos. Now they stand on stage as if they are celebrating the story of despair that once ended with the death of Kurt Cobain. There is nothing to fear, despair openly, and cry out. If there is no hope in reality, you are the one who is beautiful and interesting, and that is the kind of fresh courage that resides in them. They have the overwhelming power to do justice to the jokey band name ‘Goddess’. In the 90s, rock music has been reduced to a struggle with self-consciousness, but these guys easily love and release their confused selves, and say that they are the right ones. And the moment this becomes possible, all hatred of the world, despair and everything else vanishes. Muse is a reckless narcissist who is heading for the extreme value of such catharsis.

In Melody Maker magazine, Matthew told us that his mother was a medium, that he too was interested in ouija boards as a child (his distrust of religion probably developed after he realised their falsehood), and the disappointment of his parents' divorce. I found their upbringing enigmatic and interesting, but this interview focused on what they wanted to achieve and how they wanted to provoke the world. Matthew's soul despairs of society (‘showbiz’) and religion, where even death is commodified in the capitalist system. I want you to feel the passion of his ascension with no place to go.

"Bands that used to be involved in the evolution of rock have been derailed into an ideological dimension. We're trying to get it back on track."

● I saw you live last night and thought your technique was so incredible that it was going to be amazing. Do you have any ambitions to drag down other British bands who can't even play rock music? M (Matthew, Vo&G): 「(laughs). I mean, in terms of the amount of touring we do and the quality of the music we make, I think Muse are better than most of the UK bands right now. For example, Senseless Things…… Sultans of Ping FC, ehehe.」

● (laughs) Don't be shy, but who would be your ideal artist, for example? M: ‘For me personally, the Tom Waits concert I saw in New York was the best concert of my life. There's no other show where you can experience so many different moods. It was like watching a play, there was so much atmosphere, I'd never seen anything like it. I'm not sure if that influence shows up in our live shows though. Also, the best rock band for me is probably Rage Against The Machine. That release of energy is extraordinary. It never stops from the beginning to the end.」 D (Dominic, Dr): 「Yeah, I guess so. Come to think of it, we used to like dressing up like girls too (laughs). I mean when we were much younger.」 M: 「We still do that sometimes. We didn't do it yesterday in Tokyo, but it happens sometimes. We started out under the name Muse when we were 16, and then we changed it to Rocket Baby Dolls for a couple of weeks, but then we put on a lot of make-up and we were like, ‘Oh my god’ (laughs).」

● Hahaha. M: 「I've always had this side to me. Deep down inside, I have a desire to be a 'whore', and that desire sometimes comes out (laughs).」

● (laughs) I see. What you said earlier about Tom Waits, Matthew used to do theatre. You did some weird pantomime-like moves on stage sometimes, but dare I say what do you think you're performing on stage? M: 「Hmmm, well…… It's like an excuse to let myself go (laughs). On stage, I can dress up like a twat and sing and express myself freely. In fact, if I started doing the same thing on the street, people would look at me with a scowl and say, "What's wrong with this guy?" But if you put a band together and do it on stage, they'll let you do it. It's like I'm going back and forth between two personalities, depending on the song. Some songs are so personal that you have to close your eyes to play them because you can't stand the way the audience looks at you, while others are the complete opposite, where you stare at the audience and point and make silly gestures. It's like, "Look at me!" I guess I go back and forth between the two during the gig.」

● Including this kind of live movement, I thought that you were conscious of wanting to restore something like human physicality in your music. I think guitar bands, especially after Radiohead, tend to go in an idealistic direction, but Muse are moving in a more physical direction, which I felt was very new. Is that something you are conscious of? C (Chris, B): 「No, it just happens naturally while we play. The way you express a song, the way you sing it, comes naturally as you play it.」 D: 「In fact, if you saw us at a gig, you wouldn't think there was any reasoning going on on stage. It doesn't seem like we're playing with anything in mind. It's like when you're reading a porno magazine, if you think too much you can't even stand up (laughs).」

● Hahaha. Well, that's true. M: 「But yeah, I've always tried to be physical. Not only live, but also on the album. In fact, a lot of people marvel at it. They expect it to be conceptual, as you say, but it's because our music is heavier, more direct, more open, more physical than you'd expect. But I think people are starting to realise, "This is what rock music has evolved into". "This is what rock music is like now". I think some of the bands that used to be involved in the ‘evolution’ of rock music, like Radiohead and Metallica*, have somehow strayed from the heavy, straight rock of Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins to a more conceptual, abstract dimension. We've (and then he wiggles his hand) - yeah, we've got it back on track.」

● I see. Did you have this vision from when you started the band? On the other hand, were there any frustrations, such as being in a very tight situation in real life? M: 「First of all, there was nothing else to do in the town where we grew up. Everyone who grew up in towns away from the big cities like London and Manchester is like that to some extent. So anyway, the main reason we started the band was to find something to do. And not something negative, but something positive. In fact, in a town like that, a lot of young people are going in a negative direction. They're so bored that they end up committing crimes. Drugs and things like that, even when they're just kids. There's really nothing to do. That's why for us the band is…… It was a prescription for not turning to crime.」

● So you were inspired by rock music in the first place because you were driven by the environment rather than the music itself? M: 「Yeah, I suppose it was the environment. But it's true that I started playing music because I was bored, but it wasn't because I was bored that I continued to pursue music without quitting. I think that's the biggest difference between me and the rest of the gang…… Hmmm…… I guess you could say that…… There's more than one reason why we started the band in the first place. There are so many reasons. So you have to be very careful when you use just one example. Because people might assume, "Oh, that's the reason?" For example, "When I was 17, just looking at all the people around me playing on computers all day and not doing anything else was enough to make me want to quit school", or "There's nothing more embarrassing than the apathy technology brings to people"……」 C&D: 「What's that (laughs)?」 M: 「But that's just one of the problems. There were also questions about the school education system itself…… The system says that "the schooling system makes the state as an organisation more powerful", but in my opinion it only makes the country richer, takes our eyes off the problems of the third world and makes the world a worse place. That's why I rejected schooling. So that was one of the issues that turned me towards rock music. The other issue is, yes, women. There are endless problems with women (laughs). So there are all sorts of reasons. And as I got older, I started expressing different feelings about different issues in my songs.」

● I think there are very few bands in the UK that have a critical perspective on society, do you have that kind of conviction? D: 「Certainly, I don't think there are many British bands doing the kind of music we do. We're often compared to Radiohead.」

● But when I saw you live, I thought that your guitar phrasing was completely different from Radiohead's. Why do you think people compare you to them? D: 「I mean, I think Radiohead are the only band other than us who are honest about the current situation in the UK. We and Radiohead are very much influenced by the country where we were born and raised. A lot of the negativity in our music comes from our feelings about the UK we grew up in. I can't think of many British bands that are doing anything remotely substantial.」 M: 「If you're talking about veterans as well as new bands, I think U2 are unique. I don't know about it musically, but in terms of the concept of the band and the way they look at things, I think they have a lot in common with what we're trying to say. But, for example, what Radiohead is doing now and what we're doing are completely different. They're about ten years older than us and I think the times themselves have changed since they were our age. So I guess you could say we're similar in the sense that Muse are doing music that's as much about ‘now’ as Radiohead were ten years ago, but these days Radiohead are making music about what's happening now for a 30-year-old, and we're making music about what's happening now for a 24-year-old. So in that sense we're different from them. I think we're more of a band of the current era, in the sense that we're honest about the times we're living in. But when I say ‘singing about the times’, I don't pretend to be singing about other people's relationships to the times. I'm just singing about our own relationship with our times. When you go into it and in the process of growing up, you create your own world, your own reality. You learn things, you experience things, and you form your own worldview that you think, "This is the world". It's completely different from what other people think of the world. So I'm just singing about the world I've shaped. It's my own view of the world, my own view of the times, and no one else is singing it. The other people are singing their own view of the times.」

● Yes. But you could say that although the perspective of the era they're singing about is different, they're targeting the same era. M: 「Oh, I see, yes, yes.」

● So, do you take pride in being a pioneering artist who correctly understands the ‘now’ and expresses it in your music? M: 「I'd like to be by the time we release our third album, though. I don't know. We've only released our first album. It's still more of a ‘goal’ at the moment. So we might fail.」

"I think life is a journey to find the right equilibrium of things. But I'm oscillating between two extremes. On the one hand I hate society and reject my audience, and on the other hand I embrace them."

● No, I'm hoping, really. So are there any bands or artists in the US that you feel empathy for? There are a lot of bands, including Rage, that use social stress as a source of energy. D: 「In America, it's…… Slipknot!」 C: 「(laughs)」 M: 「No, I seriously think so. I can relate to their music and I think they are similar to us in the way they focus on the zeitgeist. I mean, I think both Muse and Slipknot express honestly in their music how they relate to the times we're living in right now.」

● In the case of Slipknot, one of their messages is that they live in an era that has the potential for extreme and excessive heaviness, and they do it in a very pop way, which I think applies to you as well. Is it something you can relate to? M: 「Yes. So the problem is that I could easily go for the kind of music they're doing. But I think life is a journey of finding the right equilibrium of things. I'm only about 20 years old and I'm constantly going back and forth between the two extremes. I'm on a journey. It's hard to find a place of balance. So it's easy to settle on one extreme or the other. And the extreme point is Slipknot. So if you're not careful, you can easily end up with extremely reactionary music that's all about hate and anger. I think that side of me is always there. I feel like I'm always oscillating between the two extremes. On the one hand, you have bands that hate and reject society and reject their audience, or are almost hostile to them. And on the other side is a band that shares with the audience, loves and embraces the audience. And we're the ones who move back and forth between the two.」

● Indeed. So, you said before that you wanted to leave a mark that you are here, but behind such thoughts, is there an obsession that you might be an invisible man? M: 「No, I don't think there is such a thing as an invisible man. I think all human beings are equal. In the sense that we are all part of one big system that binds us all together. Whether you are a scientist trying to invent something for the future or just an office worker, you are all important. Because we all function together…… Hopefully.」

● That's a slightly cynical view of humanity. M: 「…… And I personally don't find it hard to be in a situation where I'm an invisible man. That's why I've always wanted to do music, and I have the most fun when I'm doing it, that's all. I think I'm basically very adaptable to different situations. I've been in a lot of different situations myself. For example, before I started this band I was doing manual labour, painting, and decorating. I've had some pretty hard jobs. But my workmates were all good guys and I adapted to the situation. And then all of a sudden this band started. So I think it's fair to say I didn't feel any fear at all.」

● So you were quite happy with the situation at that time? M: 「Um…… Well…… I wasn't (laughs).」

● Right? There was a kind of frustration, wasn't there? M: 「But even now, I'm not satisfied with it. I'm not sitting back and thinking, "We did it!" I still feel the same dissatisfaction as I did when I was doing that kind of work. I think all sorts of mental problems prevalent in western society contribute to my dissatisfaction.」

● David Bowie, for example, has said that he switched between different personas because he wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't invisible, but you don't make music out of that distorted impulse. If that's the case, what do you think fuels your work? M: 「……Because we're a three-piece band.」

● Hey. M: 「No, seriously, it's because we're just three people. I mean, with three people, there's a lot of room left for each of us to do what we want. The proof is that the music we make is just as powerful and loud as music made by bigger bands, like a five-piece band. Do you understand what I mean? I don't know how to explain it, but I was in four bands before Muse, and when I was in the first one, I felt like I lost myself, like I was lost, like I was just a part of something bigger. But now I'm completely guaranteed room to do whatever I want to do. There's room in the band now for my ‘whole personality’ on stage, not just on guitar. There's no one to clash with me.」 C: 「There's no chance of anyone being swallowed up by anyone else.」

● In other words, you've created this band form in order to fully open yourself up to the fact that you're not invisible, whether that's sad or melancholic. M: 「Yeah. For the time being we'll stay like this. I'm not going to say we're going to stay a three-piece band forever. You never know what the future holds.」

"I think we want to speak for the emotions of people in the social system. We're also emotionally driven and we're still confused."

● Understood. You said that "'Sunburn' is about a moth that hits a lightbulb when it thinks it's flying towards the sun", but I think a lot of your lyrics are about the disillusionment that comes when ideals are betrayed. Is this a reflection of your attitude towards the times you grew up in, your view of the times and the world that you talked about earlier? M: 「You're saying that 'Sunburn' sums up the era I live in?」

● Yes. I was wondering if it was a metaphor for how you feel, that your ideals have been betrayed. M: 「Yeah. But there were never any ideals to begin with. Ideals get broken as you get older, you know. That's why most people try to live a safe life, to stop their ideals from being destroyed. They fear the truth and want to turn away from it. And so they live a modest life in a modest town, in a modest family. They don't want to look at what's happening on the other side of it, they don't try hard to learn. Well, a lot of people don't want to talk about issues that challenge their reality…… People only want to talk about things that they feel comfortable talking about - things they don't want to destroy, things they've built up, and things they believe in. Anyway, I think I'm at the stage now where I'm trying to be as objective about things as possible. Because I think that's the best solution.」

● Do you think young British people of your generation are basically similarly disillusioned? M: 「I think they might hold it, yes. I think it's the same in a lot of countries, not just in the UK. I think people don't think about things as much as they used to. I mean, I suppose in terms of technology we're more advanced now than we were a few hundred years ago, but I think that a few hundred years ago people were thinking about a lot more things. About religion, about people. But these days, people think mostly about wasting money. They rarely think about anything else. I think that the media, especially television, has largely fostered this generation. For example, by the time I was born, computers were already part of the social system that brought me up. But as I've grown older, I've come to realise that these things are not really made for people's benefit. We humans have been bought up by these luxuries. I think that's where the disillusionment came from. In short, we don't feel a spiritual connection with other people anymore. It's called ‘apathy’ or ‘not feeling anything’. At least I think that's how I was brought up. And now that I'm doing music, I'm able to detach myself from those feelings, and I'm able to look at things and think about things objectively, and I think that's a big thing.」

● Radiohead's 'OK Computer', for example, was an album that played the role of a cold-hearted portrait of the modern social system itself. Do you want Muse to be a mirror to portray society in the same way? Or is it to liberate the emotions of the people in it? M: 「'OK Computer' is certainly that…… Hmmm…… I think it's an album that ‘describes’ things in detail. But the music we make is not that clear-cut. It's obviously the difference in age (laughs). So it's more like the inhabitants depicted in 'OK Computer'.」

● If 'OK Computer' was an album that objectively observed a certain system, then you guys are actually living in that system, feeling various things and expressing those feelings? M: 「Yes.」

● So, do you think it is your mission to break within the social system, or to be a voice for those who are going through similar experiences, or to speak for them and liberate them? M: 「Ah, yeah, I think I want to speak for them. At the moment, yes. I think we still tend to get carried away with our emotions, and I think we're still confused in many areas. I mean I always take the stance that "I don't really know". I haven't reached the point where I can express in my music what is right and what is wrong, or what this is all about. I'm not confident enough yet to sing something so direct, so black and white. I'm still confused.」

● I see. Now for the last question. From the passion and almost perfectionist performance you showed at last night's show, I felt your determination that if there is no ideal in the world and there is only confusion, then you have to create your own ideal world. What are your last remaining ideals, if any? M: 「Ideals……. I don't know, I don't know. I mean, isn't it the job of scientists to prove that the ideals we humans create are wrong? It's like no matter how idealistic we are, scientists will disprove everything one after another…… In the end, people either repeat the usual pattern of having their ideals shattered, meeting tragedy and dying (laughs), or they get through it, trying to keep the balance in their boring lives. So the most important thing is…… is to not be afraid of anything. I think if you accept fear, you can leave this world and move on to the next stage of your existence. It's fear that stops us from moving forward. Fear that you will lose everything you have built up in your life, all your ideals. So, on the other hand, you have to try not to create too many different ideals. I think it's important to always be aware that everything is just a figment of your imagination, an illusion. You have to accept that fact. And physical pain is one of the causes of imagination. So I think if you're willing to accept death, you're not afraid of it. No matter how you die. Then everyone will realise that death is only one step. Why should we be hesitant or afraid, if we're not going to move on anyway?」

Translator’s Note: Hey, Matt from the year 2000, what do you mean by that you still sometimes dress up like a girl? What do you mean you have a desire to be a ‘whore’ deep down??? Hello??????

Given that quote alone, even though this is an in-depth interview, I think this interview will be remembered in another way thanks to the “I have a desire to be a 'whore'” quote alone.

* For this part, admittedly I had no idea which band had the short form named of Medaru/メダル, as no band had such a name. The closest that I could guess, based on reading up on rock music history, is that this could be Metallica that Matt was referring to.

[mostly-tame]

A year ago I flew into Michigan to get *my* dog. As soon as I got in the car we clicked. I was prepared to earn his love and trust, but right away we loved each other. Since then our bond has only deepened and strengthened. My love and adoration and admiration for him has only grown.

We've both come a long ways since we met; and I'm incredibly proud of both of us for what we've accomplished. He's my first dog of my own and I couldn't have picked a better first dog for me. He's precisely who and what I needed, and I honestly find him to be a rather easy dog. I greatly enjoy working with him, he's incredibly smart and eager, and once he knows what I want from him he takes only a few repetitions to get it down. I want to try Rally and Agility with him, and we've already begun some parkour type training. We of course hike and walk often, and have done a bit of canicross, and I want to do so much more of that, as well as weight pull, bikejor, and some more packing (I still have his pack, just haven't used it much lately).

Of course I also still greatly want to hunt with him. He's shown great interest in squirrel, raccoon, and rabbit, as well as skunk and opossums lmao, and I greatly regret that the last hunting season was spent slowly escaping a toxic relationship and not hunting with him. I'd like to try him on bear as well, he certainly finds larger game incredibly enticing, but that probably won't happen this season.

It's somewhat strange now, all of my coworkers and friends know me for constantly talking about and showing them photos of Torch, and not Kit. I never really expected to out live her by long, and I wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten Torch when I did. Any other dog, from any other litter, pairing, breeder, I would have backed out of before I got them when I lost Kit. But I love his parents dearly, and his breeder is truly one of my best friends, and i could already feel that he was right for me; so the photos I'd seen of him and videos and photos I got of him before I flew to him kept me afloat while I got through the most lonely few months of my life.

Every day I'm grateful to call him mine, to curl up with him at the end of the day, to walk him, to train with him, to hike with him, to play with him, to bury my face in his thick ruff. He's my sunshine dog, through and through. He makes me smile even when I'm the saddest and relax even when I'm the most stressed. There's no better way to soften my sadness than to curl up with him, softly wagging his tail at first as I pet him, until he tries to entice me into play. There's no better way to work through the things that stress and overwhelm me than to walk, run, or hike with him, working out the excess energy, grounding myself in the world and my being, and thinking things through. I am the happiest when I'm doing things with him.

I was prepared for a dog who would make me earn his love, trust, and respect, a dog who would be a bit of a challenge to train, a dog who wouldn't be very cuddly or affectionate, a dog who would push me more. Overall a dog who would make me work for and earn things more. Getting a teenage laika didn't sound like my brightest idea on paper. But I was ready and eager for the experience and work. But honestly? We fell into place incredibly easily and work amazingly together. He's bizarrely cuddly and clingy and while I don't need my future laiki to be as sticky as him, I love him dearly for it. He's precisely what I needed.

While I'm not generally spiritual nor do I generally put much stock in the idea of fate and destiny; I have no other way to describe how it feels to have him. Who he is and his timing are too perfect. He came to me precisely when I needed him the most. He keeps the shadows at bay. He's the light at the end of a long tunnel for me.

He's been mine for a whole year, and I wouldn't change him or trade him for the world. He's my pride and joy, and I look forward to many more years spent with him. @losech I know you know how much I love him, how much I needed him. I still have to say it again and again and again. I can never thank you enough for trusting me with him.

This art was done by one of my friends several months ago and still makes me tear up to even think about. You can find my friend at fairywren.art on insta!

[astropookie]

a little comment about each stellium 👯‍♀️❤️‍🔥

but im only posting 3 and in reverse order.

Picture from Pinterest

10H: they’re life is their work or it’s around it but it’s the same. They could have had some facilities when it comes to gain a job or opportunities OR -I haven’t seen one but it’s my theory- they have had fight it through all their life to have that reputation and work/ career. Sometimes too much is too much. They can have fixations on politics, they see EVERYTHING with politics. They want power and bc of that they do their research, bc? they want to have control, to manage more fields and more minds, bodies? the thing is that their need is to control. They’re VERY restricted by the image they want to give to others and bc of that they learn a lot about how to treat others in a way it benefits them -to gain more people, more followers-. But they can get lost in what they want and not the real focus, that’s the meaning, why did you started?

11H: They suffer, they just suffer if they don’t feel welcomed, if they don’t feel part of, in a really deep manner. They have a lot of experience when it comes to social groups, community or to be more specific there’s a really hard situation that they haven’t healed in their lives -it made a mark in their lives- and it’ll take them a really long time to even perceive it and to heal it…make your own conclusions 🧍. They NEED to belong, to feel useful, to make society better and what they do when it comes to the last one is to trying to be part of a daily social stuff. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THEY CARE OF WHAT OTHERS THINK, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA. I can tell, at least one time or multiple they have had changed for others, they have had lied to not be left out, they have had done stuff to not be different. They feel alone, they love to be in company but also to have their own time. An excess of energy does the exact opposite of the purpose of the energy. There’s people with 11H stellium, my bestie and mom are one of those, what the last one always told me and that I always ended/end up in opposition is that she care too much about what others think. Too much. Finally, I changed her mindset, a lot comparing of how she acted before. They can be scared to be controversial or they prefer to stay out of it. My bestie also struggles to feel part of the environment she conforms.

12H: I just have to tell you: I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. I do but bc I analyze my environment naturally. They don’t fucking show anything, not even about how they’re feeling. If you’ve read my post “astro observations that I founded in my notes” YES. I’m talking about the same person -the one with pisces rising and taurus moon-. It turned out she also have 12H stellium in whole sign system. I thought I was not that important for her and then she texted me and told me that she missed me -I thought it was just a jk, that she wasn’t serious, she have told me that she missed me before- and then she send me another meme that said practically that “what matter was the friend I made in the course I took and not the course”. In what case I was gonna know about this, if the relationship we had was me talking and joking around and she just listening and acting mad in jk. She told me a lot of stuff that I thought she didn’t tell easily others. I felt I had to do all the effort, that It wasn’t balanced and then boom, she told me that 💥

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[neuroprincess]

Peanut - Elle Greenaway/Female Reader

Elle Greenaway/Female Reader

Summary: Elle doesn't show up for another appointment and Y/N is frustrated not having her wife by her side when she needs most, while she's carrying their Peanut.

Classification: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, pregnancy, sad talk, discussion

Word count: +1800

Unrevised

The pregnant girl sighs as the doctor finishes running the gel over her belly, smiling what she knows is a pitying smile. This is already the third appointment she has gone to alone and there have been five so far as she is starting the second trimester. Y/N tried to smile back, but it didn't reach the eyes and she swore she might cry right there, finally managing to swallow tears to continue the procedure. Dr. Mitchell approached again, this time placing the ultrasound stick where the gel was passed and soon an image takes over the screen, it's still small, not like last time when it looked like a big headed bean. Everything seems to become much more real when the bean becomes a miniature human being with tiny little nose and arms.

"And this is your baby, see, they have arms, feet, hands and little fingers, now they are developing respiratory, muscular and hearing functions." the obstetrician says pointing to the baby's little limbs "And as you soon turn 15 weeks we can see the baby's gender."

"Does that mean they will soon start to hear us? And kick?" she asks hopefully and filling herself with excitement at the idea, something she has dreamed of since the positive test.

"I believe so, the baby will definitely hear you, but I can't bet they will kick that soon, if so, get ready because baby Greenaway will be a restless child." the woman jokes and works a few buttons on the machine as she moves the stick around the bulge "I was right, we are lucky, we can already know the gender, do you want it?"

"I..." Y/N starts to speak, automatically agreeing, but doesn't complete the sentence, thinking better of it. When she imagined and planned the pregnancy it was with wife by her side at all times, especially these, she wanted to find out alongside her as they share reactions or bet, that is not happening, at least not this afternoon "No, thank you. I think I'd rather wait."

"Right." Dr. Mitchell smiles and uses a tissue to wipe the gel from her belly, being careful "Now that the nausea has stopped you will experience some energy spikes and excessive hunger, the longer you can stay on the recommended diet the better." she goes over the last recommendations "Now I'm going to take some copies of the ultrasound, you can get ready."

"Okay..."

Less than half an hour later she is home again, taking off the sneakers that however comfortable they were are killing her, swollen feet won't let her wear anything but slippers, against her own body Y/N tried to look decent wearing her favorite pair of sneakers and a set of comfortable clothes, similar to yoga clothes. She takes a deep breath and lies down on the couch, pulling the blankets she leaves there for practicality, when the obstetrician told her about energy spikes she almost laughed when heard this, for the last few months she has been sleeping more than usual, taking random naps during the day and usually on the couch in the living room where the sun beats down creating a warm and calm atmosphere. This calmness is soon interrupted by the front door being opened, she knows who it is, but she doesn't want to see or hear her, not this time. She has already had to listen to many excuses that were accepted when the detective used those cute brown eyes to gain a little sympathy.

"Sweetie..." Elle approaches the couch, voice low and worried, the girl just covers the head with blanket without answering "I swear this time..."

"I don't want to hear you now."

"Don't be childish, the precinct..."

"Childish?" Y/N instantly gets up, throwing the blanket to the ground, eyes filled with anger and her heart aching, to her this doesn't seem fair, to either of them "I went for another fucking ultrasound without you, seriously, even the receptionist looks at me with pity. I'm tired, physically and emotionally. My feet are killing me, I've gained at least 11 pounds, fatigue makes me sleepy all day, I've cried watching Cinderella and I'm not complaining about you not being here to stay with me in these moments, but for you never being there for me in the only moments when I ask, no, beg for your presence."

"Y/N..."

"Be honest, do you really want it?" she shouts pointing to the apparent bulge.

"Please don't call our baby it." the detective's voice doesn't change at any point, she lowers her gaze and stares at where their child grows, it's now apparent, visible, just beautiful and she hadn't realized "Just..." tears gather at the edges and her lips pucker trying to control herself.

"Elle, I just wanted to have you there, with us, for us." now Y/N finds herself in the same state, trying not to cry the tears that have accumulated since the appointment.

"And I wanted to be there, I went to the clinic, but you had already left." the brunette approaches, just a few steps away from her wife, they face each other eye to eye "I swear I wanted to, we had an emergency case, her ex-husband found out where she was and... it was close, we got there in time before he could do something against her and the children."

"I'm sorry, now I sound so foolish, so selfish. I had no idea..." the girl turns away in shame and puts hands to her face as warm tears fall freely "I am really childish, you are right."

"Fuck, no, I'm not." Elle runs to her and hugs from behind, hands protectively wrapped around the belly, face nestled into her neck and suddenly her tears join the moment as well "You shouldn't have to go through this alone, we decided to be moms together and there is no excuse for my absence, I hadn't even realized the baby is already showing."

"Neither did I, until the shower. Geez, they're already here, it's real." she sighs and places her hand over the other woman's "And we have to stop cursing so much, Dr. Mitchell said they'll soon start listening to us if they aren't already."

"Really? Shit, I can't believe maybe the first thing Peanut has heard is our fight." the detective sighs and hugs her tighter, she pauses, thinking carefully about the words "I've been working too hard, even more than necessary, I think I subconsciously let my fear take over." Elle whispers against her wife's ear and tries to control herself, not wanting to cry anymore, failing miserably.

"Fear?"

"Yes, fear, very fear of not being enough or what you need, at the first ultrasound I almost fainted seeing the little human being we made, so small, helpless and dependent on us. So when a call comes in to the police station I am there, I don't know why, maybe trying to prove that I am worthy of you, of the gift you are carrying. Trying to make the world safe for when she arrives."

"She?" Y/N catches the small detail in her wife's speech, just her who swore even before the insemination that they would have a boy, confident of it. She turns around staring into confused chocolate eyes "How..."

"I thought you found out this afternoon, at the second appointment Dr. Mitchell had told us that starting this pregnancy week we might be able to know the gender and her assistant congratulated us." Elle whispers and her mouth opens in realization "Oh, you didn't know.... I don't understand, you were so looking forward to it."

"I told her I wanted to wait."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I messed up..."

"No, you didn't. I wanted to find out with you, but finding out from you is even better." she wipes away the tears and smiles, a weight being lifted from her chest by this moment "We're having a girl!"

"We're having a girl! Our little girl!" Elle gets excited and cracks a big smile, the fact hitting her like a train, in five months they will have a child in their arms who will be the princess of the Greenaway family, the first daughter and the first granddaughter of her mother, Eva "My mom is going to spoil her so much, damn, me too! I can already picture Mom teaching Peanut spanish, dressing her and doing fancy hairstyles. I didn't see that coming..."

"I know... I just hope she has your smile and dimples, then she could have the world in her hands." Y/N stares at her in awe and hugs her tightly, head against the woman's chest, hearing heart beating fast and feeling fingers stroking through her hair as she hugs her back "You know, I didn't expect it either, you were so confident we would have a boy that I was believing your intuition."

"Hey, it's detective intuition."

"That's why." they break away from the embrace staring at each other.

"I promise, for my life, that I will not miss any more appointments. If I'm late you can punish me, all your right." the brunette squeezes the girl's hands and looks at her tenderly, a depth of pain in her eyes for having done such a thing, she would never forgive herself for missing such important moments of pregnancy and leaving her wife alone when she should have had her by side, giving her all the love, affection and support "And I'll go back to my normal schedule, I'll come home on time, without looking for more cases and I'll be there, always."

"I will believe you. But the first slip-up you sleep on the couch."

"Fair enough!"

"And stop putting yourself in danger, our daughter needs both moms." Y/N touches her face, voice almost breaks mid sentence, being a detective's wife is living in constant fear of a call with bad news and now they are adding a third family member to the mix "I think we need a name for her, we only think of names for boys.... And no, we're not naming Peanut as Roberta."

"It's the female version of my dad's name, our daughter..."

"No."

"You're the boss." Elle smiles and lifts her onto the lap catching her behind the thighs, strong arms holding her tightly, lips close inches apart "I will reward you for every thing, every absence, every teardrop. How can I start?" she asks suggestively.

"Well, I'm hungry, so you can start by preparing dinner because I'm exhausted." the girl smiles knowing she has thwarted her seduction plans.

"And what Dr. Mitchell said about sex?"

"We can, with limitations."

"Perfect." their lips come together in a slow and tender kiss, it's gentle, both feel as if all the pain and frustration of the day left after the conversation is gone for good, keeping only the joys of shared motherhood and the euphoria of knowing they are having a little girl "I'll let you sleep now, how about some beef stew?"

"With potatoes?"

"And carrots."

"Great!" Y/N smiles and kisses her again "Be quick, Peanut is hungry."

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

What if Reader was a crackhead and chaotic person like their always hyper and getting into trouble how would yandere class 1a react

Ooooo~! A trouble maker, are we~? >:3 I like it!

Let the intrusive thoughts win, BE A VILE GREMLIN IN 2023! 😈

Let's see...you would probably be equally a needed breath of fresh air and a major headache for the class.

A breath of fresh air in the sense that they are all going through so much all the time bless those poor babies' hearts they deserve so much better than this, that your excitement and curiosity for the world around you is a big driving factor of why they haven't dived off the mental deep end yet. You have so much energy every second they see you. They wonder where you keep it all! Not that they're (well, most of them) complaining! Midoriya's actually been theorizing that it may be related to your quirk. He's told others in the class who are wondering the same questions he is about his idea that maybe it’s excess burn off from the energy you don't spend when using your quirk. Maybe you generate so much excess energy that if you're idle for to long or not using your quirk enough for your body to handle, it has to leave somehow—so it is spent through random bursts of excessively high energy. You yell when you're supposed to use your inside voice, you jog everywhere instead of casually walk, your heartbeat is always a few beats per minute quicker than the average heartbeat rate, and more.

Either way, your chaotic fits of happiness never fail to put a smile on their faces. You give the best hugs when you're zipping around. You squeeze each of them so tightly when you need to get out what you call your "happiness aggression". Your tight hold always sends them soaring. Even the ones who don’t like physical touch—ahem Todoroki and Jirou—they cannot deny that your hug is the highlight of their day.

They like how you bounce around from class to class like a rabbit wired on 14 energy drinks. They cannot help cooing at how excited you are to tell them about this "funny story" you experienced yesterday. Once you get going, you don’t stop. You don't slow down to take even a brief breathe of air when you're speaking! Why would you when you want them to share in the experiences? You care about them and their opinions! You wouldn't share your stories unless you really cared, and they know that. LMAO they actually have to plug your nose at times to force your body to realize that it hasn't taken a breath in for over a minute. You’ve come close to passing out before HA-HA!

Plus, you're a solid fighter on the field! You never run out of stamina, and are always ready for more. You're quick too, able to zip around your opponents ten times over and not even break a sweat. Your bright smiling face makes them all swoon. Whenever you call for reinforcements or help from your fellow classmates, it's practically a fight to the death between them to see who gets to aid you.

On the flip side, you give all of them migraines all the time for hundreds of different reasons.

First, your hyperness means you're pretty much destined to be close friends with the renowned class jokester, Denki Kaminari. The two of you bring endless fun, and subsequently, problems for your friends at UA. Pranks 24/7. No one can escape them—not even the two of you! Sometimes, because your brain is going 50 miles a minute, you'll forget where you set up another booby trap of a prank and accidentally trigger it. Of course, you laugh it off and go about your day.

However, some of your classmates do not find the pranks that...funny. Meaning Bakugo nearly tore out your eyeballs when a bucket of freezing water plopped onto his head after he opened the wrong door. It was actually Denki who set up that bucket, he promised you that it would be "the funniest thing ever", as long as it wasn't Blasty who walked through the door. Lo and behold, look who just walked through the rigged door! BAKUGO!

😀

...

Welp, time to sign your will.

Dripping wet and palms emanating the infamous popping noise of his powerful explosions, he completely breezed past you and chased the electric boy around the class. Denki was pleading for his life at this point, wailing for Kirishima to leash his guard dog. Bakugo was a spitfire; screaming a string of promises of wringing his neck and how he'd "Never let your shitty spark-face see the light of day again!". Denki deserved the threats, he was the idiot who poked the blonde bear with a stick after all, but...you felt bad! You didn't want Denki to be on Bakugo's bad side for the rest of the day, so you took the risk and interrupted the fight.

You jumped in behind Denki and effectively blocked Bakugo's path from eviscerating your friend. Before he could run past you, you got in the living bomb's face and claimed you were the one that set up the trap, and that if Bakugo was going to tear anyone to shreds, it should be you. Everyone who had witnessed the event was at a lose for words, stunned at your bravery against the rabid beast and the determination in your pose. Denki felt like crying—both because you saved his ass and because you were just so cool! That was the moment where he decided that you were gonna be his one day.

Bakugo, after being shaken out of the anger he was fixed in, began feeling a foreign shyness seep up in his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe—you were just so close! You were almost chest-to-chest with him, a realization that made him want to stagger back. He bowed back out of the minuscule distance he was at with you and shook off the tension that had built up that he had no idea was even there. Did you always make him feel like this before? So uncertain and shaky? He wished the red on his cheeks would stop flaring up every time he catches your confused eyes.

To distract you from his flustered state, he lightly flicked you in the forehead as “punishment” for prancing him, and lumbered back to his desk. Everyone silently watched him sink into his desk as if waiting for him to blow another gasket, but instead he sat in a quiet simmer of his own flusteredness. Everyone then ran up to you, congratulating you for your survival against the beast. Denki basically followed you around like a lost puppy the whole day, doing anything and everything you asked him to because he felt so grateful for your hand in saving him. And Bakugo? He didn’t peep up for the rest of the class, his mind still swarming around the thought that you and him had been nose-to-nose with each other you two were nowhere near that, trust me. You were practically kissing Baku plz stop you’re embarrassing yourself bb! He’s gonna be hung up on this for the coming days. Poor, silly Katsuki.

Basically, same old (Y/N) [except more hyper] and same old yanderes—they are 24/7 willing to bend over backwards and let you step all over them just to see you give them that pretty smile of yours.

With Love,

Kraken 🐙

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

I'm gonna share with you guys a post canon Sonic Prime thought I've been having since I watched S3

So after S3 I accidentally became obsessed with Oasis's song Wonderwall, which gave me simultaneous Sonine/Chanine thoughts

I don't think I'll dig too much into what the lyrics made me think, I just needed to put that out there for more context.

So imagine Sonic after the events of Sonic Prime. After Shadow made off with the paradox prism, he ended up handing it off to Tails. He didn't trust GUN with being in possession of a gem of such power, and (given his track record with the chaos emeralds) he felt that he could trust that Tails would keep it safe and figure out a better way to keep it hidden.

So, for the time being, Tails keeps it hidden deep underground under one of his many labs. He figures out a way to harness and contain the prism in such a way that keeps it from overloading his systems or having the chance of expressing excess energy in a possibly chaotic fashion (essentially recreating the idea behind the shatterdrive or the chaos council's power core schematics), and then also develops the technology that would keep the prism hidden from anyone specifically searching for paradox prism energy or chaos energy in excess.

With this, Sonic, Shadow, and Tails are the only people aware of the paradox prism's location.

Shadow, being who he is, checks up on the prism fairly often (at least once in a while) out of concern for anything happening to it.

Tails, being who he is, does run more than a few experiments on the prism's energy and documents as much data on the prism he can technically get "safely"

But Sonic... After the events of Prime, Sonic was so happy to finally be home again (not just physically in green hill, but with his friends). All he's wanted for so long (once green hill would finally be fixed) is for things to fall back into its usual (predictive) rhythm, and he succeeded (to an extent). Sure, there will be a baseline level of weirdness for a while. After all, Sonic's friends practically blinked and then Sonic was a different person (a Sonic who went through trauma and an ordeal they will likely never learn the full details of), so it makes sense. But...that's not all. If it was just that Sonic changed and grew in an instant, then after enough time they'd all grow used to the way things are now. No, the problem isn't how everything that happened affects Sonic's friends.

Rather it's about Sonic himself. This is what he wanted all along! He'd felt so happy to be home among his friends again, didn't he? He does enjoy being able to slot into the old routine, fighting Eggman, hanging out with his friends on the beach, having a long day of fighting/adventuring with Tails and then eating a chili dog with him when all is said and done. So...why does he still feel wrong?

But...Sonic does know why he feels wrong, why he can't just fully settle into his old life dispite enjoying such a life. He just handles it by...not really handling it. He puts on a face when he's with his friends or fighting Eggman, trying to seem like his life is *right* again and he's 100% happy about things progressing as normal and fulfilled in his life. But when he stops running, when he crashes at Tails' place and is forced to be alone with his thoughts, Sonic retreats to where the paradox prism is being kept.

The paradox prism is one of those few things that remind him that everything happened. These days, it's hard not to feel like he must have made up his time in the shatterspaces or the shattering, that he just sort of changed one day inexplicably, that one day Shadow will turn to him and tell him that none of it happened (because Shadow is the one person who should know that it happened, the one person he should be able to rely on being in the same boat as him). At first it was something he did once in a while, giving the same excuse as Shadow about just checking up on the prism, but now Sonic sits by the prism every night he can, gazing into it.

Shadow thinks he's too sentimental about the ordeal, but Sonic didn't really expect him to understand why he'd want to remember everything. It didn't really take Tails too long to catch on to Sonic's sneaking away to look at it either, but Tails doesn't really mind it. If it wasn't for his patience and voice of reason and the fact that Tails cares about him, Sonic probably wouldn't be able to sleep as much as he is (although, during those times the two are both down there looking at the prism, or Sonic is looking at the prism while Tails is up late working on something, it's 50/50 whether they even make it to a bed or couch that night).

The first time he studied the prism Sonic learned something peculiar. Apparently, if one focuses when looking at different colored angles, they can see visions of the other shatterspaces (like a tiny window into the world). This revelation was...exciting to say the least, and even moreso when he found out that he could view certain inhabitants just by thinking about them.

And that should have fixed his issue. Every night if he wants, he can check up on anyone, make sure they're alive and not getting into trouble. He does check up on them.

But more often than not, especially once he's secure in thinking the others are alive and real and okay, he finds himself gazing into that purple section of the crystal, and thinking about Nine.

Nine's okay, he knows. Well, alive at least. Part of him dislikes that Nine is still so estranged from everyone else in the shatterverse, and his heart still aches at having left Nine alone back in the Grim. He can’t say he's gung ho about some of the specific robots Nine chose as company either, but nevertheless he watches. He watches Nine rebuild his Grim robots (starting with alpha grim sonic), restore Chaos Sonic, use the materials he has to build a community of his own (even if they are all robots). It's not ideal, but Nine is safe and growing and not fully alone anymore right?

But as he retreats to the prism practically every night, he watches the grim more than anywhere else, and his heart aches.

Because while he'd love to be able to visit and adventure whenever he'd like, for the rest it's...okay enough. He can live with it as long as he can gaze into the paradox prism, so long as he can at least have his home. But with Nine it's...not enough. It's not enough just to know that he's alive and not completely alone.

Sometimes, when Sonic is having fun and comfortable at home, he can’t help but think of how he left Nine—with no one but his own creations to care for him, while just about everyone else hates him.

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"

When Sonic is gazing into the prism, he wants to be there. He wants to be in the Grim with Nine, congratulate him, hug him (when he allows it), talk with him about everything, or just hang out. What good is knowing he's alive when he can't even hear Nine's voice or hold his hand or try to make him smile? What good is sitting there, caring about him from afar, when Nine has no way to know it?

When Sonic is out adventuring or fighting Eggman or hanging out with his friends, he wants Nine to be here. He wants to show him the friends he'd do anything for, he wants him to meet Tails for real, he wants to take him along on adventures or even...the little things. Maybe he wants to eat street food and watch the sunrise with him, or watch Nine and Tails geek out together (his two foxes getting a chance to actually get along).

He wants to be there for everything. He wants to share everything here with Nine.

He wants to see him he wants to see him he wants to see him and not just from afar. It kills him that he's the only one who wants this.

If the shatterspaces weren't so closed off, if he could even visit Nine whenever he wanted, that would make him feel better. But he's stuck here. Missing Nine all the time, always torn between here and there (because he never would have stayed, but he hated to leave).

And Nine? Nine could never forget Sonic—not as long as he lived. Even if he came to bury the memories of the past—of his time in New Yoke, or the war—he couldn't forget Sonic even if he wanted to. Part of him felt embarrassed about this truth, if not a bit pathetic, but the other part of him owned this. It would be easy to forget, but he doesn't want to.

Nine was...alone for a little while after the war—after Sonic left. At first he was just...depressed. Everything that had happened since he first met Sonic began to fully sink in, and he missed Sonic, and yet chided himself for it. Sonic wouldn't understand that Nine has never been this same since meeting him. He'd wished Sonic would choose to stay with him so so so many times, but he knew now that it wasn't meant to be. For one thing, he had to be taken back to his home if he wanted to live. For another, it was...funny to him that it had taken so long for him to accept that Sonic never would have stayed in the Grim with him, that he could never be Sonic's first choice. And now...he couldn't take that away from him. He's dreamed and imagined so many senarios in which Sonic took his hand, or in which they figured out another way to keep Sonic from shattering and Sonic chose to give up finally going home to stay with him and sometimes even what would have happened had he gone with Sonic and Shadow. But in the end, no matter how much he wants, he'd never make Sonic choose him. He'd never beg him to stay, try and get him to leave his home and his friends. And part of that is due to the guilt of even trying or believing it could be possible. And another (of many parts) is because, deep down, he's not sure if he deserves this.

After everything that happened between them, after everything he did (even if Sonic wasn't a peach either), did he...even deserve to have Sonic at his side?

He couldn't wallow forever, though. No. He eventually set to rebuilding Alpha Grim Sonic with the tools in his lab. And that helped just a little with the loneliness. And then his second pet project was to figure out how to replicate Chaos Sonic, and everything that made him (but loyal to himself of course). Nine was surprised he even had residuals prism energy left after the paradox prism itself teleported away, but he knows that (if not the power in it) the memories held within the prism's energy were invaluable to recreating the robot.

There wasn't much on the Grim, but Nine could do only his best to make it home. Not that he knew what it would ideally look like, especially with Sonic gone, but he gave it a try. He'd come to create new robots and rebuild others—ones that could not move against him, but nevertheless we able to live freely. And as this society of robots began, and they began to build things for themselves, Nine found the inspiration to join in on creating this home for all of them.

An addition he'd been quite proud of was the large statue in the center square of his bustling robot community—a statue depicting himself and Sonic.

This all would take quite a while to build, and it would take quite a long time to get to this point, but it was something. The time spent on all of this gave Nine something to do, made him feel like he was getting ever closer to making things "home".

But even with Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic at his side, a whole community to preside over, and ultimate authority in a place no outsider could infiltrate

He knew it would never be complete. He strove for all this because he had to, because he couldn't let himself wither away here. He had to find some way to live and enjoy himself and TRY to make this place the home he always wanted. He couldn't give up.

Of course, it's Sonic that's missing (because everything always seems to come back to him with Nine at some point). When the statue was finished and placed in the center square, he'd wished Sonic could have been there to see it. When he's sad, when he's depressed, when he's happy, when he's showing off or accomplished something, when he's having a laugh, or needs a hug—all the time he wishes Sonic was here with him to take it all in.

It would be even a little better if Sonic had the ability to visit. Or, if there was no other way, sometimes Nine thinks he'd even brave entering Green Hill just to be around him for a little bit.

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"

Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic have been with Nine the longest since all the shatterspaces became closed off from each other and Nine was left here alone. His two bodyguards, ever by his side.

Alpha Grim Sonic has had this budding personality and soul that's been growing ever since his creation. But because of this slow process, because of him originally being created as solely obedient to Nine without pushback, and because he's mute, it would take a long while before he'd be considered as more than a loyal robot, not able to live beyond its programming.

So, for a while, Chaos Sonic fancied himself the only one of the pair who really felt for Nine and what he'd been through. To him, he was Nine's one and only best friend.

While Sonic would gaze at Nine from afar, worlds apart, through the paradox prism.

Chaos Sonic stood at his side, talked to him, cared for him, helped him. He was more than the loyal thoughtless bot he thought Alpha Grim Sonic was. He'd be a better best friend than Sonic ever was. He couldn't fathom how Nine would continue to hold onto Sonic's memory after everything that had happened.

So Chaos Sonic, too, began to feel like the only other person who really cared about Nine after everything that had happened to him (even if he'd eventually concede that Alpha Grim Sonic had similar feelings and loyalties regarding Nine)

Sonic and Nine, worlds apart, missing each other.

Sonic and Chaos Sonic, each fancying themselves Nine's true best friend, and the only person who truly cares about him now.

Sonic and Nine, who each want the other to be at their side, but would be content to at least meet again.

Chaos Sonic and Alpha Grim Sonic, two loyal robots who want to forever be by Nine's side, and yet know they'll always play second fiddle to Sonic.

ㅤ

I am so emotional about it

I learned that apparently Wonderwall was depicting a person and their imaginary friend, which hurt more when thinking about all this. Sonic, who may as well be imaginary, because he can see and he can wish but he can never touch. And Chaos Sonic, who may as well be imaginary to those like Sonic, because only Nine really begins to consider him (and eventually Alpha Grim Sonic) as real.

Periodically I just get this imaginary wonderwall amv playing in my head depicting Nine's actions pre and post canon + Sonic and Chaos Sonic each getting a chance to be the speaker of the song

I'm so emotional about them