#like the messaging function and the changes they've made to replies

[waitineedaname]

what was tumblr like 9 years ago

god idk how to describe it. I'm not sure how much of my perception of tumblr 9 years ago is affected by me being 13/14 at the time, how much of it was the fandoms I was in, and how much was indicative of tumblr at large, but I'll try to describe it

the like. overall tone of the site was different? you know how people look back on old tumblr posts and cringe? these were the days where those posts were shared unironically. a good example is the shoelaces pose, that was enjoyed entirely unironically. tbh I've watched tumblr's tone shift a lot over the years, going from unabashed cringe, to being deeply embarrassed by those times, to being jaded/disaffected/cynical, to trying to reclaim the cringe era. again, that might be affected by who I've been following, but that's just the vibe I've gotten from the kinds of posts/blogs that get popular

the way people used the site has changed too! some of this is because of features being added and taken away. the messages function wasn't added until 2015, and before that, people talked to each other through the fanmail feature, which has since been removed. it was kind of like asks I guess? you'd send a message directly into someone's inbox. it was like sending letters lol people would also carry on conversations in the reblogs of a post. it was not uncommon to see a post a mile long where two people were just having a public conversation. it was harder to reply to replies too

also, ask games and especially ask blogs were really popular. ask blogs seem to have kind of died out, so in case that's unfamiliar, they were blogs themed around a character (or sometimes a collection of characters, like a particular friend group, or even the whole cast of characters if the blogrunner was ambitious enough) and people would send in asks that the blog would respond to in character, usually accompanied by art. I really loved ask blogs lol I miss them

oh also people really took pride in their blog themes. it makes me sad to see tumblr actively trying to kill this function by making it so that clicking on someone's blog opens them as a tumblr(.)com/url popup that just looks like the mobile blog theme. it used to be the default that it would open as a new page, url(.)tumblr(.)com, and you could customize the hell out of how it looked. people used to take great pride in customizing their blog themes, updating them occasionally, fucking with the html to get new features, some would even add playlists to their blog. baked into this too was the "pages" function, where you could have other pages on your blog, like an about page or whatever. now everyone uses carrd I guess. I miss blog customization and the pages </3

[whenthesnowfelloverwinterfell]

just me complaining

.....

I know no one really uses Quotev anymore, however, I've been on that cite since like 2013. I wrote my first fanfic on it, I made my first character on it, I roleplayed with people on it. And Quotev is making it impossible to roleplay now, which is what nearly everyone on there was actually doing. It used to be you could search for groups and join them and roleplay with people. They got rid of the search function for groups for Quotev, and you then had to ask people if they knew about groups, and if they could link it to you. There were entire groups that were made JUST so you could find people to roleplay with. Those got deleted.

My friend @foreverdolly and I met on that website by roleplaying. We've been roleplaying and have been friends since december of 2020. And I am forever grateful for the opprotunity to have her as my friend. But our first roleplay was deleted by admin over a year ago. There was nothing innappropriate on it. There was no warning or anything. I went to go reread while at the DMV and it was just gone. That was hours and hours of work that was gone and that we never had the option to save.

When I asked dolly if she had potentially deleted it ( i had seriously doubted it, but the group had belonged to her and I wanted to be sure ) She told me she hadn't and she went onto the site and noticed how some of her journal entries on the site had also been deleted, including character forms.

Since then, dolly and I have been roleplaying in shared google docs because we don't trust Quotev to not delete our things.

They're now completely getting rid of groups and direct messaging come the first of July. They just got rid of the 'chat' feature where you could chat with your mutuals that were currently online, as well as the 'recent activity' page, which used to be my deafault home screen on the site, where I could see what other people were sharing or creating. I'm worried they'll also get rid of the journals feature, where ALL of my characters are ( even characters inspired by my fanfics ) so I'm currently in the very long process of transferring all of my characters and active roleplays with another friend of mine to google docs in order to save everything.

It's really dissappointing because as they've made these changes over the years, they've been destroying their own cite, and pushing their userbase off. I don't use the cite for anything else except for character forms or roleplaying. I used to use the cite everyday in middle and high school, where I would be in science or social studies and all I could think about was how I was going to reply to my walking dead roleplay. It was large portion of my childhood, and so much of the work I have put into being creative with others will be deleted without any input from me and others like me.

Part of the allure of roleplaying for me, was the ability to be creative. Making characters, and forms, and making the forms look aesthetically pleasing, and then creating a storyline with ANOTHER person and building bonds with that person.

Idk, whatever the internet equivalent is of your childhood home being gutted and remodeled by millenial house flippers is what I am currently feeling.

[brettdoesdiscourse]

What is Aethy? And is it worth it?

A lot of you have probably seen people posting their usernames on Aethy and telling you that you can follow them there, but what is it? And more importantly, is it worth your time?

Aethy is a website that was created in response to new rules being enforced in fandom spaces. It aims to be a space that's safe for all types of fiction, as long as it has the appropriate content warnings.

The site itself operates as a mix between Twitter and Tumblr. Users can post text, videos, gifs, photos, etc. You can tag each post using hashtags similar to Twitter and you can search through each tag by chronological order like Tumblr. You can also follow tags similar to Tumblr.

The content is widely nsfw, though there's plenty of other types of content too. Discourse is discouraged by the userbase to help create a fun, carefree website. It's exclusively made to appeal to pro ship or neutral people, so there's no need to worry about large numbers of antis being present.

Smut is welcomed, even fanart. So it helps support artists and creators by not limiting their artwork.

You can like or "favorite" posts. You can "boost" them which is essentially just retweeting/reblogging. You can also bookmark and reply to posts.

Some reasons people might not like it is the low userbase, age restrictions, and lack of some popular features.

At this time, you cannot direct message anyone. You can privately mention them which functions similar to dms. They will be under the "conversations" tab.

There's no way to send an "ask" or anything similar to that.

And as of right now, lower numbers of people have created accounts. But more and more people are joining every single day.

Due to the nature of the content posted, Aethy is 18+ only.

Aethy can be found here if anyone wants to check it out

*Disregard this post, Aethy has since become an awful site. The staff and mods are not great. They tend to not tell users why they've been suspended, retaliate against users they dislike, curse at their users in derogatory ways, and have also been accused of harassment among other things. Read more about it in this post and the replies on it. They have also since changed their rules and are now not welcoming of anti contact para, radqueers, or anyone who supports them.*

[kairyuuyaps]

Ok so. This is yet another thing that's been sitting in my drafts for AGES, but the comment section on today's chapter of UnOrdinary made me fucking FURIOUS. I've mentioned it before, but the Webtoon comment systen is THE WORST and somehow on UnOrdinary it's particularly evident. At first, we had the "Asslo"-shaming I already complained about. Then, when John snapped and went on his Joker spree/became King, people were CELEBRATING him. And not the fact that he was (in his own, EXTREMELY misguided way) standing up to what he saw as an unfair, abusive system (it is), no, they were celebrating the gratuitous violence. The top comments were consistently people gloating about how John was beating up the high-teirs. And on today's chapter... I get that Terrence is the worst, trust me, I agree. But NO ONE deserves the kind of treatment John got in the "re-education class". Not even Terrence. What the actual fuck, Webtoon comments. How the FUCK did it get to the top 2 comments being GLOATING about a CHILD going through SYSTEMATIC ABUSE. And that is after said child having been in (essentially) a cult up until literally yesterday. Do none of you have empathy?!? And it's not just UnOrdinary either. Any Webtoon with an even remotely controversial topic will have stuff like this. It's horrifying. And the way the system is set up comments like that will get pushed even more as soon as they've attracted a modicum of attention. Have you ever tried finding a specific comment or interacting with people? It's freaking impossible. You can't change the way your own comments are sorted in any way, and for other people's comments the only ways to sort is by popularity or time of first publishing. You can't reply to anyone besides OP. You barely get any notifications about your comments in the first place, so if you want to interact with other people in any way whatsoever you have no choice but to look up said comment manually every now and then. And even if you DO get a notification for a comment interaction, you still habe to scroll down to it manually. It's an atmosphere worse than Twitter in that is pushes mob mentality and makes any actually productive discourse basically impossible to achieve. And it's not like this is because of tecnical difficulties, Webtoon essentially has a full-running social media platform BUILT IN with Line. Yes, Line is mainly used as a messaging service akin to WhatsApp, Telegram or Signal, but it has all the functions a platform like Instagram or Facebook does in it's "feed" function. Connecting that to Webtoon would not be that big of an undertaking, I promise you. But no, we're stuck with the dysfunctional mess of a comment section Webtoon is completely ignoring when it comes to updates -.-

[rpbetter]

Urgh. Okay, full disclosure, I haven't been on tumblr much over the last week or so, because I was one of the people that Raven initially called out after the COAR mess, and it was in the interest of my own mental health to fuck off for a while so I didn't stress myself out into oblivion. So I'm scrolling through most of this stuff for the first time, and talking to other people who were targeted. And pardon my French here, but I'm fucking disgusted at the lengths Raven has gone to assert themselves as a victim, how many people they've affected, and the waving around of something as serious as suicide for brownie points.

I have sympathy for people who overinterpret things in a strictly emotional and mental sense (actual reactions aside) because they lack the maturity. There's always a reason for that, and it's not their fault. And I have sympathy for people if they legitimately feel suicidal. That, too, isn't their fault. If I hadn't been blocked, I would've reported Raven in case their claims were true as well, because yeah, I don't mess around with that stuff either. But what's unacceptable is how Raven acted on those sentiments and behaved towards others, even after people tried to provide perspective. How Raven claimed to be done with the drama, but continued inciting it; how they claimed to be suicidal and had left tumblr, but wrote what amounts to a "fuck you" in their header and were still putzing around on their blog, and were apparently still editing their posts until as late as today; how they claimed to have deleted but only changed the url; how they weaponized all of this stuff and used it as a tool for guilt-tripping. Like, come on. It's okay if you're down in the dumps, but it's not okay to treat innocent people like garbage, and carpet bomb half the RPC. To me, it really feels like there was an intent to weaponize all of their hurt, offense, anger, and suicidal ideations, despite the possibility it did come from somewhere genuine, and that's so harmful to anyone who is actually struggling with depression.

Every time someone weaponizes mental illness in this way, it just makes people more and more apathetic the next time someone is genuinely just hurting, and saying they feel like they're at the end of their rope. And it makes people suspicious of whether those words are being used maliciously, or legitimately. That suspicion and that association is now there, unconscious or not. And every time this kind of stuff happens, the association gets stronger. What happens if Raven does this again? Some people will still report, but some people might just scoff and walk away - people who might've actually acted before. So in a way, that kind of behaviour impacts Raven as much as it impacts other people.

And you know what? They're not the only one dealing with serious shit. I've been suffering from MDD for the last fifteen years, and I've been in the process of changing medications and having little success for months. I've been going through hell offline. I have a shit list of people I want to yell at because they're dragging their feet on really important things I need to function; I'm constantly running a deficit on spoons. Until a week or so ago, roleplay was one of the only ways I could unwind. So for Raven to bully me by sticking that stupid post in my tags, because they needed to make a scene on COAR, which I was obviously going to comment on (like many other people), then to "like" an unsubstantiated callout about me and other innocent people related to that mess, it's only worsened my own mental health. It sounds melodramatic, but really. Someone else mentioned this too, but the fear of being in another callout, and the fear of that first callout somehow exploding, was in the back of my mind all week, despite being away from tumblr. So that was a little anxiety-inducing, much as I tried not to think about it.

And I'm debating whether to return now, or take more time off, and I have no idea what to do. Because that callout post is still in my blog's tag. I'm freaking out because I was planning on approaching some people to roleplay, which is something I rarely ever do, but now I'm concerned that I'll contact someone, they'll look at my tag to get an idea of my writing/partners/who I am, and see the callout post, and immediately dismiss me because even seeing the word "callout" on its own will send up red flags, by unconscious association with more impactful drama. And as long as that callout is up, these fears are going to be there.

That's just not fair.

And Raven's "apology" is completely unacceptable. Like you and others said, it doesn't reach anyone who needs to hear it, because they've all been blocked. I would fucking love an apology if it came from a place of honesty, but am I going to receive one? Probably not. And even for the followers who can still see that apology, it doesn't address anything. It isn't directed to anyone in particular. It doesn't mention the specific behaviours that were wrong on their part. And miss me with the "my intentions were good" part. No, they weren't; going around blocks and sticking shit in peoples' tags is vindictive and entirely intentional in all the worst ways, and shame on them for pretending otherwise, and by leading with such a poor example for many roleplayers, some of whom are in their teens. One of the people who tried to message Raven (they, too, were called out on Raven's blog) was speaking to a nineteen-year old who was completely clueless about the extent of the manipulation Raven was pulling. They thought all of it was normal and acceptable behaviour. That genuinely terrifies me. And while I imagine if Raven was genuinely apologetic, they would've gone to the callout blog and ask them to delete the callout post (attempt it, at the very least), somehow, I don't think that would've happened given all of their prior actions. God forbid something else is going on there.

Phew. Yeah, I'm angry. Maybe I'm just biased and tired. But honestly, I have a right to be. Raven's apology is a handwave, and they know it. It's a slap in the face to me, to you, and to everyone else who was involved in this clusterfuck. They're not the center of the universe. They affected real people, with real problems of their own. Anyways, I am so sorry for this, argh. Really had to get this out, and I didn't want to dump it on discord or somewhere else; I sure as heck didn't want to go to COAR with it. But hey, maybe people here will feel less alone if I added my own account to the mix. The more, the merrier? In a sense, anyways. Sometimes if you feel like you've been singled out, it's nice to know you're not actually the only person it's happened to.

Sorry for saving your reply for last, Anon. It's such an important one, I wanted to be properly thoughtful!

I think that it is going to make some people feel less alone, and there is always some relief in sharing one's trials. That might be especially true when one has been unable to share them anywhere else. It's not like you can address this on your own blog right now, COAR is definitely not a safe place to do so, it's a very isolating feeling that is made worse for having done nothing.

Coming back and being required to wade through this shit was really damn disgusting to me as well, but at least in my case, I had neither been obliged to distance myself for the sake of mental health nor was I treated to the sickening display of drumming up ideas of victimization from someone who victimized me. What I experienced was just incredulity and disgust, I cannot imagine how incensing this must be for you, I am so very sorry. If it makes me angry having a degree of removal and watching in it real time? What you're experiencing...there really isn't a single word to adequately encapsulate that, I'm sure.

You've still expressed so many of the things I've thought and felt. I found all that initial behavior uncalled for, shameful, yet another display of what's actually wrong in the RPC, but it was increasingly upsetting to me the more I looked into it because it did feel a little (a lot) too reminiscent of the sort of bullying experienced in person. It's really something else to be viciously picked at by someone who keeps upping the game until such point as it begins to cause them trouble, then get to be painted the wrongdoer and punished in some way for it because they're presenting as a sympathetic victim. A more sympathetic victim than you, that's really what I mean, I'm just going to say it.

And that was already in swing by the time I got from the launch point to the smoking crater of then current events. I got to Raven's again after bouncing back and forth between their interactions with others, largely from COAR, yes, and the shit on the callout blog...to see...everyone else being blamed in increasingly drastic ways.

Because on tumblr, unlike reality, if you throw out enough times ahead of time that you have disorders people can get behind, you're more sympathetic, not less. So long as one has set that foundation and has others to broadcast it once convenient, any horrible action one undertakes is given a pass. Anyone disagreeing, anyone not tolerating the abuse, is in the wrong now. In the worst possible way, of course.

This whole thing began with incredibly unnecessary bullshit and every, I mean fucking every, further action taken was a new level of fucked up, but the trivializing of and damage done to the perception of mental health and differences is quite possibly the worst. Are those things that need any more of that? It's already such a problem! I already see suspicion and fatigue with this, every time it's given validation, it grows.

Even if I wasn't mentally ill, with one of the disorders that gets vilified even on tumblr, even if I were not autistic, even if I never knew a single person who suffered worse than I do from the the complications they won by way of being born, hadn't anyone I loved that took their lives, this would be extremely upsetting to me. Using the idea that "whatever I do, it's got to be acceptable because I am X" while not caring that anyone else is X, Y, and/or Z. Weaponizing it for bullying and sympathy simultaneously. Way too much. Incredibly gross and harmful, legitimately fucking problematic.

I want people to be taken seriously when they choose to speak of the boundaries their mental health requires, I want muns to be able to say that they are having a difficult time without it coming off (even to the rest of us with mental health conditions) as a ploy for attention/guilting for whatever action they desire be taken by partners, and I want people to take threats of oncoming, serious harm seriously. How are they to do this, when it is continually used as tool or weaponized against others? At very best, it becomes another thing to ignore and scroll by on the dash.

As we've all had the misfortune to experience or witness so recently, once it is weaponized, it's a problem of priority. I've said in damn near every message I've gotten that Raven isn't the only person involved here who has serious shit going on, but like the absurdity with trying to spin an accident as transphobia, or having the audacity to attempt speaking from a place of peace in a way that might benefit everyone, Raven included, resulting in a callout about being against ND people...it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter that any of us are neurodivergent, have serious chronic mental health complications, or are not cisgender. Raven was swinging that around like a flaming sword to drive off bigots real and imagined before we ever got their attention.

Attention they fucking asked for.

Reblogging that post from COAR was just like posting those rules. The intention was to get attention, and it was asked for with extreme hostility. I have no idea how that is coming off to anyone as simply them defending themselves. It was a great moment to either not out themselves as the person in the confession at all, not engage with it, quietly remove the post, or to reblog it and take responsibility in a meaningful way at that point. Can you imagine what a difference that would have made then? If Raven had chosen instead to reblog it and apologize for doing what they had. Just that. No shitty, snide little comments about how they're sorry, but still absolutely correct and here are five reasons why everything they've misconstrued won't be tolerated. Just an acknowledgment of wrongdoing, an apology for doing so, and awareness gained moving forward.

Their decision to interact with that post in the way they did wasn't just more of the same nonsense, it was actively upping the game. I don't really care if it was intentional bait or just continuing to let malicious impulse run free, it was used as bait. Everyone who interacted with that post was effectively consigning themselves to harassment, and if they happened to interact on literally any other topic that group held a passionately opposing opinion on, they were attacked for it. Curiously, it became necessary for them to be harassed by way of the callout blog, but that is getting a little close to off-topic, so, I'll leave it at that.

So, while I initially really wanted to have the appeal to Raven work because their expressions of regret that I was greatly on the fence about being genuine, I'd say those flags were accurate. I cannot believe that someone who took every opportunity to do the wrong thing is genuinely sorry. Sorry for themselves, absolutely, sorry for anything they did, not so much. This constant narrative I got of "they SAID they were sorry" and "they apologized again and again and took the posts down," including from Raven, is incredible. On that last one, they, yet again, couldn't actually address me.

Appropriate response: messaging me or reblogging that post (you know, the rules snippet I found right the hell there still, despite the claim of it being deleted and the final catalyst of me needing to say something after I saw that, nope, surely was not) with the acknowledgment of a single thing I said.

Extra appropriate response: ^ plus going to everyone who could still be located that they harmed with a genuine, individual, private apology.

Inappropriate response that was had: new post, shitty, childish tone like they at once wanted to argue with me and didn't want to drop the act, restating of this apology that had already been deleted and meant exactly shit while it existed, restating of how they deleted this post and couldn't control reblogs, ignoring that I literally reblogged the original copy from their blog.

Apology neither believed nor accepted. Just as it wouldn't be if my nephew came to my house, broke a bunch of my things, said he was sorry while throwing the pieces at my pet, then threw himself on the floor screaming that he said he was sorry when I told him to go have a time out.

(Yes, I absolutely did just make a comparison to a child, y'all can shit yourselves again. It's not my problem if you want to misconstrue "this person's actions are not befitting of an adult" as "Vespertine said autistic people are children!" Fucking miss me with that. I'm an autistic adult who pays my bills, apologizes, doesn't treat people like shit while trying to excuse it by being ND. You're offensive with that shit, and contributing to the negative perception people have of those on the spectrum. Be a good ally today! Don't valid that! Free ninety-nine offer!)

Again, sorry for yourself does not equal being sorry for what you've done. The former can contribute to the development of the latter, but as I said in a response yesterday, there has been no display of that beginning to transpire. I genuinely hope that will eventually be the case because that would be the best outcome, the only "best" outcome at this point. Even if it was two years from now, if it did happen, I certainly would not be kind to people refusing them any such growth in peace, and I hope that, by some distant chance, I get to prove that.

But...stating "my intentions were good" over any part of this is not remotely promising. When? Where? At what point? Oh, right, when you took it upon yourself to label a random mun you took issue with. That's when your intentions were good. Then, when you vehemently needed to defend that point by callouts and individual attacks under the guise of it definitely not being about your pride, no! It was the defense of everyone else! Defending the community by carpet-bombing it, yes. This is not a "the path to Hell is paved with good intentions" situation.

I am so disturbed about the nineteen-year-old mun, my god. I'm telling y'all, my anger and disgust almost reach what I think is a pinnacle, then there's something new like this.

I don't even subscribe to tumblr's ideology that anyone under twenty-five is an actual infant who needs be kept in a protective bubble and forgiven for all bad behavior with infinite kindness, nineteen-year-olds deserve the agency of the adultier adults they are becoming, but it is a transitional age. Especially today. Most socialization and formative ideas take place online, and by the time younger RPers are entering the adult sphere of RP here, they've already got some really unhealthy ideas. About themselves, about others. There is such a demand for rabidly performative action that gets internalized, it shouldn't be being heartily fed by people in the community they might look up to.

At that age, someone like Raven is going to be a person looked up to. They espouse all the right ideas, and it's an age in which aggressive interaction over those things is seen as amusing and correct, no matter how wrong the actions taken are or the basis upon which they are founded. When these people foster an environment of cruelty for questioning, of course, that is not going to be the natural response. The response is now going to be the requirement of being told otherwise with adequate proof.

I have suspected that many of the hateful anons I've gotten were from Raven's even younger followers who feel like it's normal, acceptable, and that everything they're being told by Raven's sales team over at the callout blog is absolutely true. Of course, they're now morally obligated to come harass me for the things they were told I did! I think it's likely that several of the anons people got were from actual minors, which is so many levels of scary and irresponsible. Really great example all around, yes!

Because whether it is one's intention or not, that is potentially exposing minors, or muns who are still close enough to be more negatively impacted, to who even knows what. As well as violating the rules of blogs who do not interact with minors for good reason, setting those blogs up for yet another callout for treating someone they didn't know was a minor the way they did or having "freak shit" on their blog. Setting up the other party to be treated with full hostility as an adult would be. Very cool, very responsible.

There is just so much here that is unacceptable, I don't think people who were not directly impacted or have never had a callout against them understand the results, and that is one more unacceptable thing you've been good enough to talk about.

Even while taking a break from the RPC, it affects you negatively. Wondering what you're coming back to, your blog is no longer a safe feeling space, and there's nothing you can do to "cultivate your blog" to change that. They've taken away the ability to simply block and avoid others, the thing that keeps all of us comfortable here as well as allowing that to be all of us no matter how disagreeable we might be to each other. Callouts negate adult behavior. Callouts mean that one doesn't know where more potential for harassment might be coming from, or how long we might have to be worried about that.

It would be a major concern for me as well about what putting myself out there to new writing partners might bring. What the success of that might be. It's incredibly unfair that they've made finding new people precarious and more unpleasant than it can be anyway. That puts all of the future of your RP here in question, and if you're like me, just dropping a muse, picking up another, and moving to a new URL isn't going to be a good choice for you. It isn't that simple if you dedicate time to a muse for a long period of time, when that's the case, that's the RP you want to do and have laid the groundwork for.

I don't know if it will help at all, but it has seemed to me, over the past several days, that there are fewer people in the RPC who are inclined to believe or support callouts than there once was. I was hoping that was the case, since there is always so much interaction on my posts against callout culture, but until this crap went down, I had no idea just how many people are not positive toward it. It has seemed to be that the people who are inclined to listen to callouts are just louder.

I've also noticed that those people have the same set of red flags, so maybe sharing that will help you or others?

They don't have simple, basic, reasonable Do Not Interacts. It isn't simply asking that minors don't interact because the mun is over eighteen, that muns writing a triggering topic not interact, or that sort of thing. No, it's URL dropping of specific muns, outright links to callouts or "receipts," and an accusatory tone about any topics or types of muns who shouldn't interact. Such as "nasty ass proshippers" or "pedo apologists shipping incest."

Their rules are reflective this as well. A statement cannot be made that they do not write, let's say, toxic ships and left at that. There will be some morality wank present about normalizing or romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

There are less assured flags, but literally, anything that stands out as an interest in RPC or fandom-based activism as opposed to an interest in writing, their muses, or even their friendships with a variety of muns. I don't mean a rounded-out interest in things, I really do mean a glaring predominance of buzzword-laden reblogs and PSA's while they've not written a reply, headcanon, or answered a meme in months.

I'm not saying any of that because I feel like you, or anyone else's, judgment is terrible or that you're oblivious to warning signs! It's just that when we've experienced bad situations, it can compromise our ability to see clearly. It becomes easy to see a potential threat everywhere, and maybe that seems contrary, but it's then easy to fail to see real threats from those we're blowing up. We question whether we're being just as judgmental as the people who wronged us, putting words in other muns' mouths and thoughts in place of their own as was done to us. While we still are afraid to be wrong in giving someone an in to ruining our time again.

So, please, don't feel like I'm questioning your intelligence or speaking from a place of ultimate knowledge, never making mistakes in such a choice! I just really hate that you, and many others, are going through this, and anything at all that I can think of that might help you move forward from this utter bullshit you've been through, I've got to try to grab it.

Because, Anon, like all those sharing their experiences these last few days, you sound like the kind of mun we need in the RPC.

You're someone willing to share with others for the benefit of others. You're being honest about your feelings of anger and even the hopeless sensation of whether it's even worth it to try to return, having your progress on and offline stomped on, while still maintaining a sort of fairness and calm that I know is not easy. Because that's the mature thing to do, it's the right thing, and unfortunately, those are usually the harder things to do as well.

You did the right thing in expressing your opinion and doing what people like Raven's group love to be on about, can only do through bullying: not tolerating it. I'd hate for the RPC to lose someone like you!

Just as your message matters to more people out there than myself, I have no doubt that your choice to not quietly allow this behavior mattered to more muns than you'll ever know. I'm sure that none of them would have wanted this result for you, but so many muns have experienced such toxic, bullying behavior over the years in which not a soul spoke up.

Many of you proved something very important with challenging Raven and the callouts blog, that unlike them, it isn't necessary for good people to even know each other to do the right thing. They have to dogpile and engage in cliquish behavior, what they do isn't coming from a place of inner ethics and strength, but what you all did? It's the opposite.

So, not only do I thank you again for sharing and providing the important support of simply not being alone to others, I thank you for being the example to the RPC that people dealing in callouts and generalized shaming cannot be, no matter their platform.

I hope that, whether you choose to remain, leave, or take a very long break, everything you've been dealing with starts to look up. I know it's easy to say things made hollow for their repetition and flippant use, like telling you not to let them win, or that their bullshit just isn't that important. So, I'm not going to say them.

It doesn't work that way when you're dealing with mental health concerns! You can logically know that this is just petty bullshit not worth being run out of something important to you, but that doesn't stop the worry, frustration, or depression. You can have all the determination in the world to hang in there, even the spite to back it up, but neither is a match for the things you cannot control coming from your brain. That is the cruelty of mental illness on the very best of days.

You have all of my respect, support, and genuine sympathy that this happened to you. No one should be allowed to continually and unapologetically go out of their way to throw a wrench into someone's hard-won progress. You did nothing to deserve this, and the people out there worth interacting with are going to be the same ones who will have no question of that.

Lastly, I also hope that some of the anons sharing their experiences have helped you feel less alone, or like you're not just irrationally upset. Please know that you're seen and supported as well! And that you are always welcome to talk more, vent, share successes here.

Thank you, Anon.

[eversoslinky]

Living according to the rules of the Law of Attraction.

Back in 2009 my Mum gave me this book as a gift, I have since bought the follow up books, "The Magic" and "The Power". These books and the DVD based on the first book in the series "The Secret" have got me through some hard times especially break ups, bereavement and bouts of depression. I'll be the first to hold my hands up and admit I have a love / hate relationship with these books and the practice and teachings of the law of attraction. I believe in the content of these books, the information contained within them is powerful, it's life changing and ten years ago I remember thinking that I'd wasted enough time focusing on the negative things that have happened to me and it was about time I started to take control of my life. This was were the problem started and planted the seed of anxiety in my brain, one of the quotes from the book was that we should all treat the universe like it's a big catalogue and choose what we want from it. To nineteen year old me this sounded amazing, I was so excited. The first rule with the law of attraction is that you must decide what you want, that's the first major hurdle! My mind changes like the weather, I had written on my list ten years ago that I wanted to go to Paris which I'm very thankful has come true (I've been there three times) but (so far) I haven't been to Tokyo (although, my focus has shifted greatly to Hong Kong, Thailand and other parts of Asia so maybe that's why it's never happened, I didn't prioritise or "WANT" to visit Japan enough) I've never been to Cuba either but I keep meeting people who have just back from there so maybe it's a sign...

I found acting that I already had money when I didn't have much to be difficult. I guess the most practical thing to do in this case is to be smart with money instead, you don't have to spend it to act like you already have lots of it. I don't believe for one moment that really wealthy people waste their money on rubbish, they spend it wisely and that's why they have so much of it to enjoy. Instead of going on massive shopping sprees I acted as I would if I was wealthy. I think I'd plan my money and how I'd spend it and obviously share it with other people. I'd have so much of it I wouldn't miss it if I gave some to help people who needed it more than me. This seems practical and sound advice.

Love. A tricky subject, for me it's like having an itch I can't scratch. I'd made a list of what I wanted my perfect partner to look like and since the age of twenty I've met this same person in various forms and they have manifested themselves in various ways. I guess I focused too much on the physical appearance and not on the personality traits I require in a ideal partner. But I've found love, romance and sex to just be the trinity of hell in my life and I've never been in a happy, functioning healthy relationship. I have always been "put off" severely by men who are too keen on me, I've always found them to be physically unattractive (even if they are not) clingy, needy and always make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I always thought that people never revealed their true selves to me until it was too late, it takes me ages to fall in love and it's only happened three times in my life. Instead of wishing for the ideal man and what he looks like (6ft tall, shoulder length dark hair with a beard) I asked the universe for a "smarter version of me" someone who would throw away those rose tinted glasses and see people for who they really are and so far THANK YOU UNIVERSE, it's happened... I've dated and slept with people and they've slipped up told me why they really want me or I've just sussed them out myself, before I've fallen in love or got romantically involved. It's incredibly satisfying being the one to kick someone into touch or call them out on their bullshit. For such a long time I thought there was something wrong with me (yes, was I was too nice!) Now people actually hand me their deepest, darkest agendas on a plate and I'm the one to show them the door.

My health has been an endless battle for me, I felt for a very long time my work/ life balance was out of sync and I was struggling to keep my head above water. How come other people could do this and not me? I remember seeing a quote online once (can't remember who said it, but went it something like this ... "always help yourself before helping others... you always put on your oxygen mask before helping others" Interesting point. I was constantly frustrated and annoyed, trying to prove myself in jobs, I've had I've made myself ill. I was miserable and never smiled or spoke to anyone, which made people isolate me... I shut down I started dreading work and the cycle starts over and over again. What would happen if I did a job I actually enjoyed? What if I used my health problems as inspiration for my writing? What if I used my talents and earned money from them? I started to stop thinking of my past as a learning curve, I experienced all those horrible jobs cause one day I will be doing a job I love where I'm appreciated and valued. Instead of wishing for a different job and a different situation, I'll ask the universe for supportive work colleagues, I'll ask for a better work life balance and a full happy life outside the office that supports me and helps me to come to work refreshed and ready.

Last but certainly not least is the power of Gratitude. Another quote I love is this: "whatever we think about and thank about we bring about" I guess you could say it's hard to be greatful for something you've never had but we all have something to be thankful for. The part I slip up is that I don't do this on a daily basis, I sometimes fall into the trap of complaining about something or sending out mixed signals onto the universe. A good example is this, on Instagram everyday without fail I get creepy men sending me messages they range from disgusting to aggressive to damn right weird, I focused so much energy about complaining about these perverts,I got more and more messages them. I decided (wrongly) to change my choice of words "I'm so thankful I haven't received any awful messages today" I was still getting messages, horrible sick ones and photos too from more people . So I did the best thing ever, I deleted the messages and ignored them, no reply. It was as if they didn't exist. Next time I spoke about it I'd say how great it was that I was getting lots of nice people messaging me, "I love all these people telling me how much they enjoy my blogs" I'd say out loud "Thank you!!!" I'd message people back "Thank you" if anyone asked me what type of people followed me I'd say "nice, respectful people who are creative and interesting to talk to." I focused on the people that made me laugh, who I could form friendships with and I got more and more nice followers. This is what the law of attraction is all about, we need to IGNORE the things that we don't want, this is not being rude! Life is short and it's so incredibly precious why waste it on something or someone you don't feel a connection with? Focus on what gets you excited. I don't know about you but I've already spent so much time thinking about things, people and situations I don't want. Now is my time and I'm going to make it so there's no room for anything I don't like in my mind. I'm going to pull everything I want into my magnetic field and own it.

[deliciouseaglefun-blog]

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Slide Shows gives Pages the ability to create posts from your content ( Imagess, Video Etc.) without any hassel. This also gives you the ability to see total insights from all content posted across Facebook 

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ALL the key VIDEO information at your fingertips…

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This software is always guaranteed to be up todate and functions as required, if there are any unforseen issues then they will provide a full support desk for your usesage. Also, this software is not certained to mostly suit your particular needs, so please review the Sales Page for all particulars.

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They've automated everything saving you massive amounts of time

AUTO LIKE: When someone submits a post (video, image, link, message, live video, live scheduled video) in Facebook, the post will be liked by all other pages of the owner automatically.

AUTO COMMENT: If auto comment is enabled for the post, a comment will be made which is preset by owner.(Auto comment can be also given by other pages of the owner)

AUTO SHARE: If auto share is enabled, the post will be shared across all pages of the owner or selected pages

AUTO LIKE ON COMMENTS: When anyone comments on a post, if auto like on comment is enabled, then a like by the page will be given on this comment.

AUTO PRIVATE REPLY ON COMMENT: When anyone comments on a post, if auto private reply on comment is enabled, a predefined message will be sent to user inbox.

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