#like theres a process to the training. you have to learn to prep things in the back. u take a test & when u pass u get trained on drinks

[orcelito]

Tfw u were discussing a quit-risk employee JUST yesterday. And then she no-call-no-shows 😐

[shorkbrian]

Infuriated

Prelude - ok.

Y’all are so horny for Levi Sir and I get it he’s hot lol. I am trying to get to everyone’s asks I promise!!! Also it’s up to you why Levi is mad lol

Prompts - 

Pairing - Levi Ackerman X Reader

Warnings - NSFW, dubcon, noncon, choking, mentions of snuff, emotionally compromised Levi, overstim.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/2f2hbFjim051DVx0o8o4rU?si=5waL376sSRSqjN2j8G0Y8w

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He comes home in a bad mood.

He shuts the door quietly, and it’s clear he’s beyond pissed. Past the point of yelling, of slamming the door and causing you to flinch with the indicator of his foul mood. It’s not you he’s mad at, but it might as well be. He finds himself wanting to break something, but not dishes or glass, just you. 

Wrap his hands around your throat and squeeze till your breath rattles in your chest.

Levi finds you in the living room, standing by the hallway with wide eyes, shrinking against the wall. You thought you could avoid getting his anger taken out on you if he didn’t catch you while you were lounging on the bed. Hoping the man wouldn’t strip you bare and crush your soul like he had so many times before.

He’s so enraged that he can’t even think of the event that provoked him to such a state in the first place.

“Come here.” He stops in his tracks when he sees you, hands flicking to his tie so he can unknot it, loosen it from his neck. It’s not often he gets this angry, warm and burning, filled with emotions that he doesn’t know how to process, doesn’t even really want to.

“Come here.” Levi repeats himself, eyes burning when you still don’t move, as you begin to shake. You’re afraid of him again, good.

You had gotten past that, at least to the point where you could hide your fear of the man. Tamp it down beneath submission and pleasure, because doing what he says meant getting fair treatment.

But you aren’t doing what he says. You’re cowering against the wall, and Levi’s furious. You’re meant to follow his every order, know what he wants you to do before he even has to say, and yet you’re ignoring him as if you had the luxury of making that decision.

His shoes click across the tile as he strides towards you, already unbuckling his pants with sharp movements. When he reaches you, your frightened eyes pleading, the rise and fall of your chest quickening. Levi bets if he checked, your pulse would be fluttering, fast, like a scared little bird.

Your head snaps to the side when his hand connects with it, the sharp sound echoing throughout his home. 

“Take off your pants.” Clothes are a luxury he’s been allowing, but this blatant disobedience when he’s already fuming will result in punishment. 

Trembling hands fly to your pants, and Levi almost wants to laugh at the expression in your face as you turn it back, cheek reddening immediately. You should’ve came when he called you.

He doesn’t bother to take his slacks off all the way, barely pushing them down to his thighs before taking his cock in hand. He’s not even hard, but he needs to fuck something, focus on a different emotion than the fury settled deep in his bones. The satisfaction of how easily you break under his hands, the pleasure of filling you, stretching you past your limit, the way you draw him in like that’s where he belongs, even though it’s obvious you want to be anywhere but with him.

The hand on his cock is too dry, too rough, but that doesn’t matter. Levi’s able to pump himself to hardness as you fumble with your pants, almost falling as you slip them off.

With a quick movement, he’s slamming you hard against the wall, breath punching out of you, head hitting the wall and dazing you.

Levi spits in his hand, takes it between your legs and rubs his saliva where it’s needed. There’s no way you’re wet, no way you’re ready to take him. But if there’s a little blood, there’ll be a little blood. Levi can clean it off your thighs later.

It hurts when he starts pushing inside, the head of his cock breaching your hole far too fast. The crushing realization that he isn’t going to actually prep you is evident across your face, obvious by the panicked little whine that falls from your lips.

“Shut up.” He can’t stop himself from snapping at you, irritated at the noise. 

He’s focused on filling you, the too-tight squeeze around his length and the overwhelming heat of your body where he’s pressed against you. At least you know better than to try and fight him, hands only clutching his shoulders, not trying to push him away, just trying to hold on.

What he would do if you struggled now, Levi doesn’t know. It’s possible he might break something important, push too hard, forget his own strength as he throttles the life out of you.

That reminds him.

The hand not guiding his cock into you rises to your throat, grasps the smooth column tightly, tight enough to feel the ridges of your esophagus, spongey and delicate. If he squeezes a bit harder, Levi wonders if it would collapse, crumbling beneath his fingers like tissue paper.

But your loss would make him inconsolable, so he reigns in his wrathful curiosity, his impulsive side that only sees the sun when he’s furious.

He's fully seated now, pressing deep into your sensitive walls. You’re shaking, trying to hold in your tears, your pitiful noises, your desire to beg him for mercy. There’s no slick feel, other than the slight ease from his saliva, so Levi knows you haven’t torn. 

That eases his mind a bit as he slowly retreats from your hole, intent on making this quicker than it should be. He needs to fuck, hard and fast and maybe just a bit painful. There’s no explainable reason as to why, and Levi isn’t interested in trying to analyze himself at the moment.

So he draws out, pushes back in immediately, doesn’t mind your choked, hiccuped gasp. You’ll adjust soon enough; even as he pushes back in, you’ve started to get wet, and there’s no stink of iron in the air, so it’s your body trying to make this easier for you.

Levi figures it’s good that at least one of you was actually concerned about that.

As the slide becomes easier and easier, his pace picks up accordingly, until he’s swinging his hips in a punishing rhythm. He can’t stop himself from giving a rough press onto your throat, relishing the way your body jerks, already breathless and panicked, now denied air and already missing it.

He’s getting close, which is surprising. Levi thought it might be difficult to reach release, reasoned that he was too focused on the rage filling his veins and weighing him down to lose himself in your body.

But he should’ve know, you always have an effect on him.

Your cunt starts clenching around him, and Levi’s head shoots up from where he’d been watching the steady hammering of his cock into you, glares at your face now.

“Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare.” His tone is clipped, and he’s mad all over again. He doesn’t even know why.

It’s not fair that you’re enjoying this while he’s still simmering, struggling to calm himself. It’s not like he doesn’t want you to find pleasure, but the least you could fucking do is have some decency for once and not cum before he does.

You clench your teeth, grimacing as you try to listen, do your best to obey. He’s trained you well.

But not well enough.

With a pitiful cry, you squeeze tight enough to make Levi groan as he refuses to stop moving his hips. Velvety walls spasm around his length with a vengeance, your nails digging into his shoulders as you lose yourself to the sensation.

Levi’s infuriated.

“You’re not allowed to cum.” He hisses, and your eyes are filled with sorrow, with regret and remorse, with emotions Levi has never bothered to learn the names of.

He slows down, slams into you hard enough that his tip kisses your cervix, makes you lurch in pain that lances through the afterthroes of your orgasm. 

Your throat is abandoned for now, his hand joining his other in painfully clutching your hips, fingers dimpling up your flesh, sinking into the pillowy skin so he can pull you down onto his cock the same moment he thrusts up.

It’s hurting now, your face contorting on each deep thrust. Levi doesn’t care, you were selfish enough to take your pleasure before him, when he so obviously was trying to soothe himself.

He’s starting to get a cramp from how hard and slow he’s driving up into you, but he’s crawling closer and closer, so he ignores the twinge for now.

And then he’s there, bursting from the inside out, uncaring of trying to avoid filling your womb with his seed.

It feels good, good enough to talk him down from the edge of hurting you, of destroying, of raging and bruising and damaging.

Levi’s left panting as he finishes, as his abs clench and unclench while he shoots his sticky finish into your tight hole. You’re still grabbing at his shoulders, eyes squeezed shut at the foreign sensation; Levi usually dons a condom, or at least pulls out. Rarely does he lose himself to do what he just did.

He’s calmer now, feels less like a pacing tiger that's been provoked and prodded until it attacks.

But he finds himself irritated at you, at your audacity.

The man knows he’s being irrational, and that he’s emotional right now, prone to lashing out and striking at anything that dares to defy him. You hadn’t done anything particularly wrong except exist in the same space as a thoroughly pissed-off Levi, and he recognizes that.

But he still wants to see you punished.

So you find yourself on the bed, stripped of your clothes. The only thing you’re wearing is a leather collar, attached to cuffs on your wrists by a thick metal ring. The contraption keeps your hands up by your face, unable to do anything but clench into little fists. It’s almost cute.

Theres a spreader bar cuffed to your ankles, and a vibrator in Levi’s hand. He had cleaned himself as soon as he pulled free of your warmth, not bothering to stop the cum that escaped from the unconscious clench of your hole.

Levi had taken a moment to change out of his work clothes, calm himself further and evaluate everything with a clearer mind. Now dressed in nothing but loose sweats, he felt more at ease, cooler both physically and mentally.

The vibe was flicked on, pressed to your mound at the same time Levi wiggled a finger inside of you, feeling his cum still warmed by your body. It was a weird sensation, but you were wet, and he was focused on the task at hand.

Making eye contact with you, Levi leveled you with a stern look.

“You aren’t allowed to cum.”

Four minutes later, when you crested the edge despite an obvious struggle against it, Levi clenched his jaw, removing the vibe and his finger from rubbing at your walls.

When your eyes opened, Levi met them with a glare.

“You aren’t allowed to cum.”

The vibe was flicked back on, a setting higher this time. Levi shoved two fingers inside of you, and you whimpered in distress. You’d beg if you knew it would sway him, but Levi had forced you enough times for you to know that he followed his own desires.

You were just supposed to lay there and take it.

[angst-art-writing]

The Edge-The Island(4)

TW: executions, hanging.

The next day, Talyn and Iris prepped the Inn before dawn, none of their residents awake yet. Diana came down dressed in a corset and a coat with intricate black designs on the trim. She usually wore it when something important was going on.

Talyn looked up from the glass she was cleaning and raised a brow. "What's going on?"

"Well," Diana said, cuffing the sleeves of the coat. "Today is a bit important." Her tone was light, almost excited sounding.

Iris, who was wiping down some tables glanced over and raised a brow, Talyn caught he quizzical look she had shot at her. "Is... Today someone's birthday or...?" Talyn asked, setting the glass down.

"No. We have executions set for today."

"Oh." Her heart hit the floor, traveling down from her chest to her toes. Then that...That meant-

Iris was obviously thinking the same, because she then went on and asked, "Who's it for, exactly?"

Diana glanced up. "No one in particular. But our space is filling up, and we need to... Get rid of people. Before disease starts to spread." She sounded so sure, as if that was a perfectly fine reason and Talyn just felt sick.

"We-Well did they get a trial? Anything?"

"Of course not!" She glanced over and smiled, looking at her as if she was stupid. "Only those whose families can afford a trial were kept in their cells. You know this, Talyn."

Talyn tried to smile back. "Right." She turned away and pretended to busy herself in organizing things that did not need to be.

Of course- Only people who could afford a trial or had family could have a trial. Most times, that didn't even work, and the families went poor as the criminal was almost always found guilty with lies Diana's guards would make up. But because Diana was happy...That meant everyone else should be. Once the blood king was dead, that meant all the issues in their world were too, right?

Talyn felt a hand ruffled the top of her head. She looked over and her eyes met Diana's dark ones. "You're going with me. Both of you! Let's see these criminals get what they deserve, no?"

But Talyn's mind was already working, the gears in her head turning. She shook her head. "I- I won't be able to. I promised I'd tutor Will today." She glanced at Iris, who just stared back at her. Talyn had already decided on something, but also decided to not tell Iris.

Diana frowned. "You can't cancel? It's important and I want you to come to one of these at least once." That just made goosebumps rise.

"Afraid not. Sorry."

"Ah. Just Iris then! C'mon Iris, go get dressed up." Diana hugged her then and Talyn was forced into the embrace. She smelled of flowers. She made Talyn think of roses, thorns hidden under plump petals.

Iris gave Talyn a look. But she turned and headed up. Soon enough, both Diana and Iris had left.

And Talyn would soon, too.

-----

Executions were usually held in The Circle, a round section in the middle of the Capitol in front of the building where important affairs occurred with outside countries. A crowd was already gathering, muttering and talking amongst themselves.

An hour after Iris and Diana had gone, Talyn stood on a roof on one of the buildings that surrounded the circle. She was crouched down and had a dark hood covering her face, as well as hiding the quiver on her back. In the center of The Circle was a wooden platform, and a noose.

Some important people Talyn recognized as Diana's workers stood around, holding their children's hands. Talyn was stunned to see them there. Did they really think it was alright to bring kids here? In their false definition of justice?

Talyn glanced up toward the sky, focusing on the grey clouds that swirled above them. Yet, oddly enough, there was no wind. Perfect. Nothing natural would collide with her plan.

She glanced down and spotted Iris's purple head in the crowd. She was right to the side of the platform, where Diana now stood. Diana was speaking to the crowd with her hands folded neatly behind her back and her head held high, but Talyn couldn't register her words. Blood rushed in her ears, and she could feel her eyes pulsing nervously in her head.

Diana pointed, and Talyn followed her finger. Some people dressed in rags were walking in a line led by her guards, their faces sallow and grim. They stared at the ground, just getting back up as the crowd by them shoved them as they walked onto the platform. The crowd were yelling at them, spitting at them. Talyn felt her shoulders tense, and she carefully slid her bow over her shoulder and gripped it tightly. She felt burning in her neck.

Another man came over, the executioner. Talyn pursed her lips. His name was Jarvis, and she had memories of him coming to visit the Inn when she was a kid, tossing her up in the air and chasing her around tables. The memory tasted sour and rotten in her head. Talyn continued to watch underneath her hood, waiting.

Diana went and picked out a man, yanking him forward by the collar of his shirt. He staggered forward and fell to his knees onto the platform, before Jarvis yanked his head up and slipped the noose over his head, making it snug. Then, Diana announced his crimes. Theft, and whatever lies he guards made up. Talyn couldn’t hear. It was all just noise.

The old man kept his eyes down. Talyn loaded her bow and stood slowly, aiming.  Everyone’s back was towards her. Her blood was like a waterfall in her ears, her veins buzzing- Though her hands remained steady as she positioned her hands.

"Go ahead, Jarvis," Diana boomed. She nodded her head, and the man went and grabbed the other end of the rope. He pulled, and the man swung into the air while the crowd watched.

No one said anything now. It was forbidden not to. All that was heard was the sound of life being slowly stopped, and Talyn tried to push away the satisfied smirk she could see on Diana's face away from her mind.

She had one shot.

Talyn took a deep breath, her eyes focusing on her target. The man squirmed now, and his gasps were louder than anything at that moment. She drew the string tighter and exhaled slowly. She released, releasing a breath as well.

The arrow traveled through swiftly and struck, sailing through the air and slicing the rope cleanly. The man fell to his knees again and Jarvis crashed, rolling backwards off the platform. Everyone swiveled around, peering up at the archer.

Silence.

No one had ever acted out like this. No one had acted out against Diana, so publicly. It was so silent, but Talyn’s frame upon that roof was screaming.

With satisfaction swelling inside her chest now, Talyn turned and hopped off the roof, slipping inside the back of a library. She took down her hood and placed her bow over her shoulder, the buzz louder than ever. She peered out at the curtains, watching them go by.

She began to laugh, unable to push away Diana's shocked look. She laughed to silence the guilt she was beginning to feel. Afterall, Diana was her mother. Not by blood, but by choice.

Usually that was the best kind of mother someone could have.

Usually.

She laughed and pride swelled inside her throat. She wanted to rip her hair out and hug herself at the same time.

------

"What the hell was that, Talyn?"

Iris and Talyn stood in their training base, the only true place for some privacy now. Clint and Will were seated on the ground, and Talyn had just finished recalling the events of her stunt, proudly. She didn't know why Iris seemed so upset, and why Clint and Will were so silent.

"I was proving a point-”

"No, you were making things worse!" Iris snapped at her, her eyes wide. "Don't you see what you've done?"

"I-"

Iris cut her off, and Talyn's neck grew hot as she was interrupted. Iris pressed on.

"Of course, you don't! Because you always act on impulse! You don't- think! You never do!"

Her words echoed against the walls and slammed back into Talyn as she processed them. She could feel hot tears form behind her eyes, but she fought to keep them contained. Suck it up, she told herself. Suck it up.

"Talyn, if anything- You made it all worse! You think just because you made some shitty metaphorical statement that they're going to stop the executions? No! They'll just be done privately instead of public! They still die and all you did was piss off Diana and making things more difficult!"

The words pushed against her, except these felt as if she had been stabbed with ice.

She hadn't... "Iris, I didn't-"

"When are you going to realize that you can't protect everyone? You can't be some sort of hero all on your own, goddamnit! Are you proud of yourself? They're still going to-"

"Iris. I think that's enough." It was Will who spoke, clearing his throat. His voice was soft still, as it always was. Never had anyone heard his voice rise, even when he was clearly angry. "Theres no point in yelling."

Talyn clenched her fists and looked down at the floor. Iris huffed angrily. "You need to learn to not be so-"

"Enough. No more yelling." Will's voice was sharper there, and his next words were addressed to Talyn. "Talyn, you can't act on your own. What you did has consequences..." His voice became soft again, softer, and he sighed. "You need strategy, you need more opinions. We could have thought of something else."

"I didn't have time-"

"You could have spoken to Iris. She was there. She could have helped, in a way that wasn't so destructive." There was a pause. "We don't work separately, Talyn. You can't pull stuff like that. Other than those people just...y'know.. Diana's group is going to be more powerful in trying to catch the culprit, and then that'll permit them to arrest more innocent people already and blame people for nothing. This was huge.”

"I..I didn't think of that.." She would have preferred Iris yelling at her than Will right now. He sounded so disappointed. It hurt a lot worse than Iris being angry at her. Clint hadn't said anything, but she imagined he was disappointed and angry too. She was glad he remained silent.

"Well, you need to start. This is what happens, Talyn."

Talyn looked up and frowned.

"No training today, I think." He said after a moments silence. "Let's just go home, we won't get anything productive done if we're all upset. Iris, I'll walk with you."

Talyn watched them leave, pushing past the curtain of vines, with iris pinching the bridge of her nose. Clint got up slowly, picking up his coat and shrugging it on. "C'mon. You can stay at our place tonight." He said gruffly before he got up and turned to walk.

"Thanks.." She swallowed back tears, turning and walking beside him. She was grateful he had offered; She didn't feel like sharing a room with Iris.

The walk to Will and Clint's house was a silent one. She wished he would speak, wished he'd say something. But Clint didn't and she was left to wonder at how angry he really was. He must've been angry. Usually he'd explode before, but now he didn't.

By the time they went in, it was dark and quiet. Will's family was asleep, so Talyn just followed him up the stairs. He let her sleep in the bed, and he took the floor.

No matter how much she wished for sleep, it didn't come.

She wasn't laughing now. Her hands went up to her hair, short and fluffy on the top her head, and she pulled at it.

------

Iris went down into the Inn, pulling up a chair at a table. The place was mostly empty, even though it was open- Signaled by the lit lantern outside. Carina had just finished cleaning some of the glasses, when she looked up and smiled.

"Hey, Iris!”

Iris lifted her head and saw the girl with white hair, heading over to her table with two steaming mugs. She smiled at her softly and pulled up a chair, sitting across from her.

"Hey, Carina." Iris smiled a little at her. She took the mug from Carina and wrapped her hands around it. They had their meetings like this, at least once a week. "How are you liking this job?"

Carina shook her head slightly, speaking after she had taken a sip. "Oh, it's wonderful. Cozy, lots of people. I'm learning so much." It felt almost like a home, or what she imagined home would feel like.

Carina was not from the Capital, instead from one of the other kingdoms, Nerin. Nerin was the underwater kingdom, usually of sirens and mermaid. Carina was a mermaid, able to get rid of her tail and shift into legs when she moved onto The Island. She hadn’t shifted back since Iris knew.

Nerin was very secretive, mysterious- Strict. She had been banned from it a few months back, and while swimming in the other unfamiliar parts of the ocean, had been caught by some fishermen. In which Iris and her friends had rescued her. Now, she lived on land, and she was learning their ways here.

"That's good, then! I'm glad you're enjoying the new job. Better than the library?"

"Ah, that's hard to say. I like both." She smiled again. "But how are you? I heard about what happened yesterday. That's just... wow."

Iris glanced up at her, looking down and frowning slightly. Carina knew of what they did, Stealing, helping innocents escape. She hadn't said a word.  She would never do that, she owed a lot to them anyways. "It... was insane. It was also Talyn," she murmured quietly, speaking into her mug.

Carina stared at her for a moment, her eyes widening. "Seriously? Taly- Actually, not that surprised." She frowned, recounting the times she had gotten up in large men's faces, ready to start a fight while they had hung out. "They're looking everywhere for her, though. Not her, really- But..."

"Yeah, yeah. My mom's been going crazy. She's furious."

"Oh, dear..." Carina sighed softly, before the door rang with the chime of a bell, and a familiar red-haired boy came in.

"Icarus!" Iris said, and she smiled. He beamed back at her and headed over.

"Hey!" He said, planting a small kiss on her cheek, and Carina glanced away for a second and downed the rest of her tea. He waved politely to Carina, and she nodded her head and mumbled a hello.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to take a walk?" He said to Iris. Carina waited for a moment, and Iris nodded eagerly. "That's okay, right?"

"Yeah! I mean- Carina?" She tilted her head, asking as if she was merely a second thought. And she was.

Carina bit her lip slightly. "I uh... Well, Iris you just got here-"

"I'm sorry, but you know... Don't get to see Icarus that much. I'll come back in a couple hours, okay? Have our tea ready then?" Iris asked her.

"No, no, go ahead. I should get back anyways. You two have fun. We can talk later, okay?" She picked up the mugs, nodded a goodbye to them and turned as the couple headed out.

She sighed as she went behind the counter, setting the mugs down. She dumped them out.

----

“.... And then she just goes and does whatever she wants, and she doesn't even pick up after herself!" Iris huffed, glad to release some of the tension as she and Icarus walked down the shore of a nearby stream. "She doesn't even ask us, especially with something so important- Doesn't even realize how destructive it is!" She tossed a rock into the water and watched it splash.

Cool it. She could feel the intricate lightning patterns begin to prickle on the backs of her hands. She needed to keep her emotions in check.

"I can see how frustrating that would be," Icarus replied, his tone gentle. His voice calmed Iris down, and he slipped an arm around her shoulder, as always. And as always, she leaned into him. It was like magic- A good magic. Different from her own.

"It's very frustrating. She never listens, never thinks. God, sometimes she's so- stupid." She regretted it immediately as she said it, but it just came out. She frowned. "I... Shouldn't "have said that. I don't mean it."

"I think you do."

She turned to look up at him, surprised. "What? No, that's awful of me to even say-"

"C'mon now. It's okay." He smiled a little again. "I mean, all of that is pretty...dumb. When you think about it. Which she didn't."

"Hey-"

"It is stupid, Iris. You just said so. We're merely stating the obvious, dear. Your sister can't rely on just impulsiveness." He steered them around a rock as they walked. "One day, it might get her hurt. Might get you all hurt."

He was right. Really, he was. Talyn’s impulsiveness would be her downfall.  She just shook her head and sighed. "Yeah... I just feel apart from her, I hope it goes away. I don't like being angry at her."

Icarus rubbed her arm with his thumb. "You two will be fine, I'm sure. It'll pass." Her hands still prickled, and she looked down at them. She sighed softly and glared down at them. "Man... I hate these things."

Icarus looked down at them. "You should wear gloves for them. I can get you some."

"Really? Thank you." Iris sighed softly, sticking her hands in her pockets then.

---------

It was dinnertime for Clint and Will. Him and his family sat around the table, three younger siblings and his ‘mother’. Clint and Will sat side by side, eating their soup quietly. Clint glanced up at Will's mother, Aliane, pausing for a moment. Aliane looked tired. She went to work at the library early in the morning and left Will to take care of the kids, then after her shift at the library she would go to work at some bar and work late into the night.

Still, it wasn't enough to cover the costs. The youngest was barely a few months old, and the father had left. He was Will's half-brother. Their fathers had left a long time ago and left Aliane. Will didn’t remember his own father too well. But at the face Aliane made whenever he was brought up, something told him he didn’t want to.

Diseases were such a dangerous thing They traveled fats, especially with houses and people so close together. The kids would get sick almost every two weeks it seemed, and the medicines only grew in expense. Especially when the baby got sick, panic and stress would cover the house like a suffocating blanket.

Clint and Will would bring home what they could. Talyn and Iris would send them home with baskets of food and herbs that may help, but it wasn't enough. Clint felt like a burden here. They had been so kind to take him in, all those years ago when he ran away from home... But still... Would it be easier if he wasn't around? That was less people to feed, less people for Aliane to worry about, to support, to house. Aliane wouldn’t let him stay at the Inn though. Aliane hated Diana as much as the rest of them. She barely accepted Talyn and Iris.

He would find that out soon enough.

"How was your days today?" Aliane asked, her voice soft as always. She looked up at the two boys in front of her, swirling her spoon in her fork.

"It was fine," they both said at the same time.

Today had just been hanging out outside while the kids played, after taking them to their teachers. As well as helping Talyn feed some of the poorer communities in the area, covering her while she stuffed her bag with treats and bread.

"Oh, come on! Tell me more, I feel like we haven't talked in ages!" She exclaimed in an exasperated tone, and she leaned forward in interest. "I want to know what you're both up to. I know I'm not home often but... Y'know.  You are still teenagers. I still have to try and keep an eye on you two."

"Alright, alright. We've been stealing, making our with girls, throwing tra- I'm kidding!" He said as he noticed the wide eyes from Aliane.

"You better be!" She grinned at him. "I know I've raised you well. You wouldn’t pull any shit like that.”

"That's right. But I did take your piece of the bread." He held it up.

"Give it to me-" Aliane huffed and snatched the piece out of his hand, rolling her eyes. "Anything else?"

Clint hesitated for a moment. If I don’t do it now, it would never happen. "Actually, there was something I had to tell the both of you. " Out of the corner of his eye he saw Will's eyebrows go up. He faced Aliane, tapping one finger on the table. In sync, his leg bounced up and down rapidly.

"Oh?" She spoke. Clint didn't talk much- So he knew this must've been a surprise.

"I signed up for the Front. Training starts in a few days." Right as he finished uttering the words his tongue felt as if he had swallowed something sour and bitter. Involuntarily, his gaze shifted down to his bowl of soup.

There was a silence that followed his words. Aliane stared at him for a second before she spoke, her voice much softer, much quieter. "Oh..." No one knew much about them, the Front. There were no opinions really- Just honor them. That's why Clint had been so surprised to hear Will's opinion on them. Clint closed his eyes for a moment and saw the word Puppet.

He opened them again and met Aliane’s gaze, feeling Will staring at him too- But he didn't look over. She didn't look mad, only surprised. "I'd just like to ask... Why?"

Clint inhaled for a moment. "Because I want to do something. I want to do something that is going to help people. I want to be someone these kids can look up to." He gestured briefly towards the younger ones, oblivious to the talk. One of them was holding their spoon the wrong way.

"But they already look up to you. Well, they must see but- You already help people, Clint. You help us out. There's no wars, anyways-" Will spoke up this time. His voice was less soft, stricter and more linear.  Almost whiny.

"There is," Clint interrupted. "There will be. Not a war we're really concerned in, but Lilura and Eira are getting more and more... tense every day. They'll probably call on us to aid them."

"Oh, no.." said Aliane. "Do you know why?"

"One wants to abolish the other. I'm not sure, but I'm sure I'll figure it out soon." Clint sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just wanted to let you know. I'll be living and training on the base, though. I'm already signed up.”

"You did this without letting us know first?" Will exclaimed, his eyes narrowing a tad. He looked upset, almost hurt.

"I didn't want to change my mind. It's been on my mind for forever. I decided to get it over with and just do it."

"Will, please." Aliane leaned forward some. "Will there be visits? We still want to see you, Clint."

"I- I'm sure there will be." God, he hated stuttering. He cleared his throat and talked more clearly, forcing his voice to be steady. " I'm not sure when but... I still want to see you all too. It's not like I'm going to drop off the face of the earth."

"You better not. You know I'll kick your ass," Aliane joked. She looked more comforted by that fact. Clint wasn't sure why. He was only another mouth to feed. Will, on the other hand, was hard to read. Part of what Clint read of him- looked almost hurt. He couldn't get why, though.

Will looked up at Clint, but not directly in the eyes as he had always done before and sighed. "I'm glad you're...Making your own way. I'm happy for you. No matter what you choose you’ll always have us for support."

Clint could feel his throat tighten slightly. All he managed then was a quick nod.

"We’re proud of you," added Aliane. She smiled at him gently when he looked up.

"Thank you. It... means a lot." Clint swallowed down whatever was crawling up his throat.

Aliane reached over the table, placing her hands over his and Will's. She didn't say anything else; she didn't need to.

[delicatebluebirdruins]

Rereading THG 1

Part 1 the tributes; Part 2 the games; Part 3 the victor

My notes and thoughts as I reread the series in light of finished Ballad (it should have been sooner but I wanted to finish the book I was currently on... I was planning on ending the series and I’m on the fifth book of the six book series its going to drag me for a while I can tell so here I am) 

1 - 4

- the first time we see Kat and Gale together they’re in the woods and then they go to the lake when in Ballad the lake is the last place Snow visits in D12 

-- I’m listening to the audiobook narrated by Tatiana Maslany and I love that she actually did a quack sound and I quite like her as Katniss thus far

- the humiliation from being made to see the the Hunger Games as a barrel of fun and games

- So what did happen to Lucy Gray?

- I kind of snorted when I read this bit “As far as Reapings go at least this one has a slight entertainment factor” Snow was probably watching this and just going

- I always love the salute

- “Family devotion only goes so far for most people on reaping day” interesting line especially watching Haymitch’s games in CF

- Katniss references 7 year old Prim cleaning there fathers old shaving mirror every night-- not really a comparison but Snow looking at and smelling the powder in his mothers compact mirror--- Did Prim stop? if so when? and why?

- In Ballad Grandma’am made Tigris and Snow sit down and eat their meal together =Kat is telling the bread story she tells us she made Prim wait and fetched her mother and they sat down together eating one of the loaves and had some tea as well... However, I’m sure we can all see the differences in the two very different families

- Everlark shaking hands with the “reassuring squeeze” compared too Lucy and Jessup shaking hands with the blatant show man ship of it all- random note I liked Jessup and was sad with when he died and this was one of the scenes where I wished we were in another persons head as well

- Prim’s faith in Katniss vs Tigris and her faith in Snow

- from Ballad we know they did not have a chance to say bye so when did this come in?

- Katniss’s reaction to the gifts and the gratefulness for them until she rejects the cookies from daddy Mellark

- the conversation between Gale and Katniss is also reminiscent of something in Ballad

“you know how to kill.” “Not really.I say”... The awful thing is that if I can forget they’re people, it will be no different at all”

- I wonder about Johanna’s thought process in her Games

- the differences in trains between Ballad and this

-  about Mockingjays “something of a slap in the face to the Capitol“ We all know what Snow thought about them so that leads to even more wondering how long the mockingjay is a symbol of the rebellion

- Katniss appreciating the food and then annoying Effie with eating the rest of the food by using her fingers is still great

- Haymitch self medicating and the first reference to Haymitch’s job of mentoring I wonder if the 10th games is the first and last game when the Capitol kids did mentoring or when the victors became the mentors

5 - 8

- Katniss about Peeta’s kindness vs Snow about Sejanus

- The woods became our saviour and I was desperate to save us.... In Ballad the Snows also struggled with finding food for a few reasons they were in the city with a war going on

- Mrs Everdeen admonishing Katniss about her eating habits

- Everlark exchanging a exasperated look and Katniss admonishing her self about it

- “the best looking tributes always seem to pull more sponsors”

- 64 years of “progress” leading to the tributes having their own recognisable train

- Katniss winning over the prep team with a little manipulation via a smile and sweet words

- D12 were the stylists ordered to be bad or just incompetent?

- Relief about seeing Peeta and his knowledge of fires

- them laughing about their costumes and Haymitch 😂

+ Cinna was there a chance of the fire going horribly wrong?

When did the parades start being a thing and I hope to god it wasn’t inspired by what happened to Brandy?

- who throws the rose?

- The reaction of the Capitol people and how Katniss feels about them

- Katniss about the elevator is precious

- Effie wanting to threaten Haymitch with a gun to get him to the sponser table

- Kat wanting to press all the buttons in her suite

- Was Delly Cartwright just the first person Peeta thought of

- I wonder what Lavinia was running away from specifically

— “that I let the Capitol kill the boy and mutilate her without lifting a finger... Just like I was the games”

- “I can’t do anything, says Peeta” that’s me

- The effect Katniss has on people and think about Maude Ivory

- “its weird how much he’s noticed me... And apparently, I have not been as oblivious to him as I imagined, either”

- the knot station and the camouflage station is two stations that don’t get a lot of action why is that

- I love the bread lesson

- one of the gamemakers fixated on Katniss?

- Rue 😟😔 we first learn her name when Everlark at the spear throwing station

- i kind of hyper focused on the “we finally escape to bed”

- And of course the private audience with the gamemakers theres a little showmanship

— upstaged by the pig

— all the different places Kat shot at

— the reaction of the Avoxes and Gamemakers

- insert point here that I forgot

- “And I realise the impossible has happened. They have actualy cheered me up”

- “I grin at Peeta and realise I’m starving”

- the portrayal of Everlark being a team and the later romance

- the eleven probably made Snow grind his teeth

- the interview prep... “if you appeal to the crowd... you gain favor”

- the interview dress being eye catching

- “I am as radient as the sun”

- the difference between the interviews in Ballad and the ones in THG are also telling

— I think I’m goin to stop listening to the audiobook despite my liking of Tatiana Maslany because I’m also rereading the physical book kind of sad but not really

- Caesar and Lucky interview techniques born from their circumstances in the timeline

- Peeta’s confession gets me everytime... and I really really want to know what he was thinking in this reread

- “It’s all a big show. It’s all how you’re perceived” another Ballad similarity

- Another possible tie it in “more than a piece in their games”

- I really can’t imagine why cannibalism doesn’t play well with the Capitol audience.... 

- When did the trackers get developed? and when did they start being used for the Games?

-- In Ballad the mentors had a group planning session with Dr Gaul so did this become a regular thing that the head gamemakers had to add things to the games during their stint?

- Who came up with idea for the old arenas to be used as vacation spots?

[kaguraspetsims]

[[MORE]]

Hey guys sorry for the absence, work has been...shitty. like, it's making me so depressed and anxious that I'm losing sleep. I'll tell some stories in a second but like for those of you who want a tldr the assistant manager training me has some personal vendetta against me for some reason and is literally making my life hell.

So, just so we are clear: I have worked at this store for 1 and a half months. I dont remember if I've ever said the company I work for but I will say it's a pizza place.

At this store we have the store manager (call him R) and 3 assistant managers (P, A, and me).

A has been at this store for 2 years, P is the one that trains new AMs. A became an AM like...half a month ago. I have no prior experience in this company so I'm trying to learn the basics PLUS manager stuff.

So to try and keep things easy to follow, after my first week or so there P has me sit down with her and she asks me how I am able to learn better. I explain to her that I need positive reinforcement and I need to be told if I'm doing something wrong when I'm doing it wrong so that I dont form bad habits and have to relearn things. I also explained to her that I have short term memory loss, which is the reason I'm so unconfident when trying to portion toppings.

The gist if what she told me was this: I learn fast and I need to stop second guessing myself bc that slows me down and therefore slows the whole process down. And I was like yes I will accept this is true and try to do better. She also said she'd stop answering complicated questions I had, which I understood as anything that could not be answered with a yes or no.

So the weeks are going on and I learn several things about how this place works out.

I am short, shit is taller than me. I'm told to ask for help when I need it.

I quickly learn that when I ask for help, depending on what it is I'm asking for and how her mood is, P will get irritated as fuck with me for asking. Example: we have guides on how to build certain food items. Theres a lot of shit on the menu. The guides are very hard for me to reach. So when I ask for help getting a guide so I can try learning the build, I either get it tossed at me or I get told what to put on it in a disappointed or irritated tone. (Keep in mind I'm not being told the portioning for these toppings unless I ask for those too, to which I get an annoyed "I don't know off the top of my head.")

So I decided that if I have a question about what goes on what builds, I will try to list off all the toppings I remember and be like "that's what's on it right?" I figured this way they know I'm trying to learn them, I'm retaining at least SOMETHING, and if theres an ingredient or two off they can correct those.

Yeah the last time I did that P turned around and totally ignored me. And it turns out I was correct about all the toppings on it.

Now skip to about a week and a half ago, I'm finally learn how to stretch dough. Every time I have tried to stretch this shit has been during rush. At this point I have only worked rush shifts, which are shit for training, but when I've come in earlier I learn how to prep food, and so I literally dont get a lot of one on one time with someone who can actually sit there and train me. And when I DO have the chance to have one on one time, it's usually with P and she usually leaves me to make as much as possible while she goes to the back to chat with people who are waiting to take deliveries.

I end up getting so frustrated that I start taking shit out on myself, basically telling myself that I cant do anything right and that I've peaked and that I'm never going to get better. I tell P this and she tries halfheartedly to get me to breathe and keep going.

Mow skip to this week. I'm told I will close Monday and Tuesday (yesterday and the day before) I'm told I'll be trained how to close.

Monday comes up. I get there at 5:30. A gets thre at 5. We work thru rush and A tells me he will stay with me till P gets there around 10 just in case we get a night rush. Keep in mind this is P's day off and A had offered to help train me since he was already there.

So 10:30 rolls around and P finally shows up. She comes inside only to tell A he should have left at like 8 or 9. You know. Leaving me alone on my first closing night when I still cant make an entire one pizza on my own under 3-5 minutes.

So A leaves. One of the drivers is there bc he has to be (we can call him T). P tells T hes going to do most if not all the cleaning so she can show me how to do inventory and enter shit in the computer. She says when he finishes he can leave ahead of us bc we were (supposedly) going to be there for a few hours.

So for about 2 hours I'm told how to find things on the computer and finish inventory. Most of those two hours is just me entering shit in the computer or her talking on the phone with a friend.

At one point she says to T that shes just teaching me computer shit now, and on Tuesday she'd teach me how to break down and clean the area where all the food is.

At 12:30-12:45 she says shes going to leave and for me to call her when I'm done counting money so that she can tell me the rest of what I have to do. This sends off panic bells in my head. Not only has she NOT FINISHED TEACHING ME SHIT, I'm about to leave a store by myself in the middle of fucking nowhere with no overhead lights. I felt unsafe leaving the gamestop I worked at during the night even tho there were parking lot lights and usually small crowds at the walmart next door, and I never left that building by myself.

So I'm just ask "can T stay so I'm not leaving here by myself and I dont risk my safety?"

The response I got was basically P saying she forgot I was weak and fragile. So she decided to stay and fi nng ish helping me on the computer, which, btw, was another 15 minutes or so of her staying???

Also fun news I get at this point is that P will NOT be closing with me tuesday night. I'm on my fucking own with T! :)

So then I'm helping clean shit bc apparently we're behind (it's like 1 am at this point) and P (who did the entire food area by her damn self) finally leaves around 1:15. T has been really nice and stays with me to help me put the last of shit together before we leave.

I dont get home till 2 monday night.

Skip to tuesday night. I get in at 4:45. A and P are there. Ahas been told by P he MUST leave by 9. She leaves at like 6:30.

I learn a few things after she leaves from multiple people.

A has been here 2 years, and P not only stayed with him till 3 am breaking every little thing down and showing him everything, but he ALSO was given the opportunity to close with her for about 2 or 3 nights before he closed by himself.

I have been there an entire month and a half, got told how to do ALMOST everything ONE time, and the very next night I'm closibg hy myself.

I have trained for (almost) 2 hours how to close at this point. I dont know what the fuck I'm doing. I start getting order after order. The drivers are out doing their jobs so I'm literally in the whole store by myself trying to figure shit the fuck out bc i was basically left to fend for myself. Spoiler alert, I'm not very fucking good at this.

To make a long story short, a bunch of shit went wrong tuesday night. T is trying his best to help me learn things, but he doesnt know how to do everything bc hes not in a manager position. He even says to me at one point "it just seems like you've been set up to fail." Granted I was complaining about the fact that I didn't get fucking training, but he said that shit on his own. He pointed shit out that I had been thinking about.

Again, skip to about 3 am. I have my final call with P. She proceeds to tell me several things:

You should not be there more than an hour after close.

Your inventory variance should not be that high.

Just finish up what you're doing and leave, what's done is done and what's not is not.

Then she asks me "do you see what you need to improve on?"

At that point I nearly snapped. How the FUCK can I know what to improve on when theres no one there to give me fucking feedback?? I dont know what the fuck I'm doing. I literally scrambled all fucking night to ATTEMPT to do shit right which, apparently, it still wasnt good enough. I was given a whole ~2 hours to learn ALMOST everything to close. R doesnt get out when he closes till about 2 hours after the store closes, so why the fuck am I being picked on when I had fucking not even 2 whole hours of training?

I have never EVER told myself to quit without putting in a two weeks notice before. I'm going to talk to R about this shit before I just up and leave at this point. I'm attempting to find another job in the meantime but the toll that these past few weeks has had on my mental health is just fucking astounding. The last time I had that kind of a meltdown after work was a year ago when I worked at the fucking kennel and a dog got hurt and no one answered me.

Oh, btw, that kennel? The one owned privately by a single person, that wasnt a franchise or anything? Yeah, as much as those communication skills sucked, it was leagues better than the communication at this establishment I'm at now. And that's saying a fucking lot.

[poke-reads]

A Smol Guzma! A fic series! (Part 3: You're experienced, HALP!)

“Oh…..God…..Plumes?” the clothes on the floor shifted, a few sounds came from the clothes accompanied with the rattle of his chains.

“What the…?” She leaned in closer, eyes widening at what popped out. Bacter and Axel looked at each other, Axel squeaked,

“OH MY FRICKIN’ TAPU BOSS YOU’RE…you’re….ADORABLE!” boy was he right!

A little toddler sat there, big gray eyes, cute salt and pepper hair, scruffy with a heavy chain around his neck.His orbs shined as he blinked with curiosity.

“Ah…ma?” he tilted his head, suddenly realizing the feeling of his mom not being here, his eyes teared up, looking at you,

“M-mama? MAMA!” he wailed, balling his fists as tears ran down his face. His shrieks pierced the atmosphere, you finally levelled down to him.

“Guzma?” you tried not to fangirl over his cutness as you blushed intensely. You wrapped him up in his shirt and jacket. Plumeria garhered his other garments and accessories, giving them to Baxter and Axel.

“There, uh there, your safe now~ don’t cry.”

Guzma cries lessened to whimpers as he looked at you. His face red and tear stained, he muttered,

“Naw da Mama!” now he knew. He was a smart kid.

“I wanna hold da boss! Please!? I wanna see the baby boss!” Axel squealed excitedly.

“Hold on guys, we gotta go back home first. Plumes? You ok?” Plumeria was silent but uttered a few words

“Lets go home.”

The ride back felt long, you pondered of what to do, why did he turn out this way? Did Tapu Lele do this and why? Plumeria looked out to the sea, her own head filled with concerns. Baxter lounged back staring at Axel with sleepy eyes. Axel was having a ball with Guzma, booping his nose and playing peek-a-boo to keep him entertained.

It was late at the shady house, as you all entered the mansion you saw Grunts sleeping all around Nanu who remained seated with a newspaper and a cup of coffee. He took a sip of coffee as he looked at Axel’s arms. He choked on his coffee coughing harshly.

“What the fu*cough, cough* is that *cough*”

Guzma pulled on Axel’s lips and hair, Axel no longer amused,

“Yo, he was cute but now im pissed. GET HIM OFF ME!”

Nanu cleared his throat as he approached Guzma. Without a word he walked out the house.

“My payment is lunch for a month. Paid by you all.”

The night felt like eternity for you. Guzma wouldn’t stop crying and the boys wouldn’t stop waking you up for tips

“Hey (y/n) what do we feed the boss?”

“Try warm moo moo milk with chamomile or honey.”

“Oh, hey (y/n) how do we get the boss to stop crying?”

“He seems old enough, check if he has to use the bathroom or if he feels bad. Lemme SLEEP.”

“Ok. (Y/n)-”

“GODAMMIT YOU TWO!”

“Language bitch! We got a kid here!”

Pushing the door open, you walked over to Baxter and Axel, grumpy and fumed you took the crying Toddler out of their hands. You inspected Guzma. Poor thing was red and teary, still had no proper clothes on, and had a ring of…Tapu cocoa? On his lips.

“Guys! He’s too young for Tapu cocoa! If anything that won’t help him sleep!” you sighed, taking him to his room which you occupied for the time being.

He wailed once more, sounding more like a hissy fit. “What it is Guz? You hungry? Sleepy? You gotta go?” He was very upset, but you couldn’t tell why. You felt like a failure, doubt setting in your mind.

‘I have no patience or experience with kids, we didn’t even buy crud for him. Man, what do i do.’ tears overflowed from your eyes. You broke down holding him close, both of you crying away. Plumeria walked in, sighing at the display.

“(y/n), calm down. Its ok-”

“No! Its not Plumeria! He’s hurting and i dont know what to do! He-h-he needs something and i just…can’t understand him or his blabbering gibberish!” she walked towards you and hugged you gently, trying hard to console your worries. She kissed the top of Guzma’s head as an attempt to soothe him.

“I called Nanu and explained everything. He told me he’s coming to get you and G. Get your stuff. Don’t need the rest of the grunts waking up to his noise.” you sniffled and nodded to her directions.

Giving her the fussy toddler, you gathered you belongings and some pokemon in case of anything. A few moments later a few knocks were heard at the door. Swiftly, you exited the mansion while bumping into Nanu in the process. He groaned,

“Alright, lets go. The sooner the better, he’s already becoming a thorn in my side with that repetitive annoying cry.” a short walk to the station, and you were surprised to see the interior of the station. Not what you expected.

“Nanu, did y-”

“Yes. I prepare for things kid. You learn with age.” He pushed you inside. The meowths greeted their master then you and Guzma. Without a word, Nanu grabbed Guzma out of your hands.

“Hey!”

“Relax, he’s not really your kid. Besides you need my help right?”

He removed the baggy clothes be was wrapped in, revealing a dirty child. He tried to seem friendly, his eyes grew soft for a moment,

“Someone needs a bath. Come on you little litten,” he grabbed the teary eyed kid and dragged him to the bathroom.

“Grab some clothes will ya? Theres some boxes from the store. Don’t start slacking off and prepare something for him. Fridge is over there.” He speech lessened as he walked further away.

You were surpised still with the interior of the place. It still looked the same, but there was an actual bed across from his futon. Beside the bed was a crib. He sure did prepare, aww he does care. There were boxes of food formula and medical supplies, basic clothing, and a few toys. Boy time flies when you are observing…

“I thought i told you to get him clothes, and make him something to eat. Do i gotta do everything? Im old (y/n).” Nanu returned with a calm Guzma in his hands. Still red but no longer crying.

“Sorry! On it! Wait i gotta know, is he a toddler or a baby? Never had siblings before…or kids.”

“Baby. He’s seemed to be a toddler but still a baby. Not trained, and still unclear speech. He gettin’ there though…also he has a bad fever.” he touched Guzma’s forehead, and held him close as he fussed up again.

“Oh, i see.” you gathered some clothes and some diaper necessities. While the grumpy Kahuna diapered up the toddler and dressed him as well, you made some warm moo moo milk with alittle honey.

The moon was out of sight as the morning made way. You gazed at Nanu as he fed the skull boss. Your gaze made him nervous, he whispered

“What?”

“You have a way with kids. Teach me!”

“Shh, and sure. Im not gonna continue doing this, just for the time being until we find a way to get him back to normal. Now tell me what happened.”

After explaining to Nanu how Guzma got this way, he sighed obnoxiously.

“Man, Olivia needs to take better care of her island for that Tapu. Its famous for healing and hurting, but not age regression or progression.”

He looked down to little Guzma, who had just finished his bottle. As he removed the bottle from Guzma he started to fuss again from his fever. Picking up the toddler, he walked about the station, lightly patting his back and calming him down.

“Get me the medicine.” you obeyed. Watching him try to give the toddler medicine

“Its not too bad pal. You’ll feel better. Look at me.” he pretended to take some.

“Mmm, see? i feel better. Come On, open.” he pushed his lips open with the measuring cap, Guzma surprisingly complied.

“Ahh- yum, see? Good boy.” he scruffed his hair after wiping his face. Sleepily, little Guzma lied his head on Nanu’s shoulder yawning with a small coo.

You asked a question, “So…you had kids once?”

“Three. All grown up now, all somewhere out​ there. Their life, not mine.” he swayed a bit side to side lulling the child to sleep.

“Good boy, time to sleep. Get the crib ready.” As the crib was prepared, he placed the sleepy toddler inside.

“He’s been crying alot and he has a terrible fever. We gotta keep an eye on him. He not trained so we gotta change him, and he’s gonna be fussy. Don’t cry about it, im sure it was just a 'new parent meltdown.’ You got this.” he stretched with a back breaking crack as he waltzed to his futon. All the meowths crowded his feet and sides.

“You’re gonna help me, right Nanu?” he huffed with a sleepy expression

“How could i say no to that face…Ugh fine. Go to bed.”

You went to the bed he had prepped for you and sighed at the comfort of it. You smiled sweetly and remarked,

“Thanks. See you guys in the morning.”

More in the next part :3

[minecraftpvp-moved]

ok heres my thing heres my really long minecraft post...mega walls has a certain set of qualities that make it a very weird and unusual game

-1. like most other minecraft minigames its almost entirely played by kids (11-16). it’s almost exclusively played by boys

-2. it has a REALLY high skill floor just to be able to have fun playing it. you have to put in hours of investment just to not get pummeled every single game. this is mostly just technical skill, aiming to melee hit in clusterfucky minecraft combat or outrunning someone when you’re all the same speed over blocky terrain is mostly just processing visual information really fast like..hand eye coordination stuff i guess. yeah you learn the maps and strategies the people use and stuff but when it comes down to it you just have to be able to strafe and hit them more times than they hit you. 

-3. the games last around 30-50 minutes (until the end when someone wins) and 10 minutes of that is just prep time (mining and crafting as they say?)... you’ve got stake in it even if the walls have just dropped (meaning the fighting is just starting). the deathmatch draws out for 20-30 minutes, with long periods of chasing and hiding before everyone even gets down to killing each other.

-4. the gameplay is honestly uh... kind of unreasonably intense thought the entire game. pvp in minecraft happens stupidly fast and even when you’re not fighting you’ve basically got to be running the whole time to not get beat up by some kid looking for an easy kill. this goes double in the deathmatch- even if you’re winning you still have to haul ass to run ahead of your thirsty teammates to get any final kills at all

-5. the teams are 25 people each- 100 people in a game. nobody works together at ALL. there might be some vague coordination if you’re in a party, but those max out at 4 people, so really for the most part it’s an every man for himself kinda deal. you have to take entire initiative to affect the outcome of the game while the wither is alive, and in the deathmatch it’s basically a benny hill style wild fucking goose chase for half an hour regardless of if you’re winning or losing. there’s no “hey guys pull back” you just have to follow the herd of bouncing steves in diamond clothing and try to kill people i guess. its kind of a weirdly primitive game in the sense that it has very few Rules you mostly just chase people and try to kill them and not get killed by them.

-6. because of the high skill floor for it even being fun the community/group of people who play it is very small. theres only 300 people or so playing at any given time (it’s 100 people per game). hypixel is a big server but only a tiny portion of the kids playing are actually willing to invest the time to play mw.

but uh the combination of all these things means theres several thousand- but no more- kids who are like..neurologically trained to participate in this really specific minecraft game. as in uh, the kids who started playing when they were 11 and are now 15 are better at mega walls then i will EVER be having Started to play at 15. but theyre almost like these weird minecraft super soldiers or something like all these kids who grew up playing a game thats so fast paced and consistently stressful and demanding that they’re completely wired for that stuff ... i dont know what point im getting at i just think its kind of a strange/interesting thing i wonder if those kids can put those skills to use somehow or if they’re just really good at minecraft pvp and thats it. HOLY shit this post is long

[ixvyupdates]

I’m a Black Gay Man, and Supporting LGBTQ+ Kids Is Important to Me

Brian Coleman, who heads the counseling department at Jones College Prep, has been named the 2019 National School Counselor of the Year. This is the second year in a row that a Chicago Public Schools (CPS) counselor has held the title. Maureen Kelleher of Chicago Unheard spoke with Brian recently about his journey from acting to school counseling, the ways Jones is strengthening college access for first-gen and under-represented students and how student advocacy has created safe space for LGBTQ+ students and improved sex education at Jones. (This interview has been edited for length and clarity.)

Tell us your story. How did you become a school counselor?

I’ve always been really passionate about human behavior and patterns of human behavior. I think that first manifested for me through acting. When I was in college, I started touring with About Face Youth Theater. We were doing really powerful pieces related to LGBTQ+ homelessness in Chicago high schools. We had talk-backs with the students after the shows, discussing identity, privilege and power, social justice and so many other issues. I was so moved by the discussions we were having, I began asking myself, “How can I engage in school work in a more intentional way? Who does this kind of work in schools?”

I quickly realized school counselors are best positioned to explore identity development with high school students and thought, “If I’m going to make a career change that would be the way to go.”

I interviewed at Jones College Prep, got accepted as an intern and have been there ever since.

I’ve seen the research showing that students from low-income neighborhoods at selective enrollment schools are actually less likely to attend selective colleges than either their wealthier peers in their school or kids from neighborhoods like theirs who attend high-performing neighborhood or magnet schools. I’ve also seen research showing that high-achieving Black and Latinx students across CPS are especially likely to see their grades plummet freshman year, which can have long-lasting negative effects on GPA. Taken together, these findings raise concerns that selective enrollment schools aren’t supporting low-income students of color as well as one would expect, particularly when it comes to college access. How are you working to change this?

It’s a work in progress. We’ve seen some of the research and data on how students of color do at selective enrollment and we’re asking how do we create buy-in around equity and access? How are we making sure all students have access to AP courses? What are the prerequisities?

When I started at Jones, our counseling work with juniors and seniors was almost exclusively about postsecondary, while with freshmen and sophomores the work was mostly social emotional. I started by working with freshmen and sophomores and it was painful to turn that relationship over to another counselor just as they were starting to work on postsecondary.

More than anything, counseling is relationship driven work. Starting a relationship with kids halfway through their high school process and jumping into postsecondary work did not serve student interests. You can’t replicate two years of work.

We moved to a model where we sustain relationships across the four years. Each counselor has a segment of the alphabet and works with those kids for all four years. This has allowed us to ensure we are constantly working on three strands of development: postsecondary, social emotional, and academic in the sense of understanding GPA, learning about time management, and so on.

Now we’re doing a better job of targeting. We went from not knowing our percentage of first-generation kids to tracking it. This is our second year of tracking intensively at each grade level who are our first-gens. [Coleman estimates between a quarter and a third of Jones’ student body could be described as first-generation college students.]

This is our first year offering a counseling group for juniors about what being first-gen might mean for going through the college admissions process. We’ve revised all our college and postsecondary curriculum to spell out the possibilities for students who aren’t in the junior group.

 As the parent of a transgender daughter, I can tell you that Jones has a very strong reputation in the community for supporting LGBTQ+ students. How did it get there? How did you help?

That brings tears to my eyes, to be honest. It means a lot to me that Jones is known to be a welcoming space. It’s a very important piece of what brought me to this work.

When I started here there was a GSA [Gay-Straight Alliance]. I will never forget one of the first conversations I had here, with a student who said, “But I’m not gay or straight, so how is this an organization for me?”

That was a beautiful moment of learning for me and I realized we needed a rebrand to make a change. I immediately became the sponsor of the organization we had known as our GSA. We’ve been through some different names based on what spoke to students. About two years ago we rebranded to Jones Pride. I think that’s something students can get behind.

I came into Jones expecting students to want more of an advocacy organization. What I found was students wanted a safe and affirming space to talk about issues important to them. It was a good fit. In addition to our [Jones Pride] group, I ran a counseling group for students (Exploring Gender and Sexuality) where students could get structured support for the coming-out process. Over time a lot of that morphed into Jones Pride.

A lot of my work has also been helping rebrand counseling. I’m a Black gay man, I’m a big personality and from day one I said, “Supporting gay and gender non-conforming kids is important to me.” Students come up and tell me, “I heard about you before I got here.” I have facilitated many conversations between students and their counselors here. I don’t think prior to me participating in the counseling function did students think, “Oh, these are issues I could explore with my counselor.”

Staff struggle to know how to talk in an open and affirming way about choices and decisions students are making related to gender and sexuality. Those are many conversations I’ve had with our staff. Comprehensive sex education is a program we are still trying to get established across our school communities.

Tell me more about the changes to the sex education curriculum at Jones. Is there interest in sharing what you’ve developed with other Chicago high schools?

When I arrived, comprehensive sexual health education was offered to freshmen and given through outside providers. Students would say, “What about us—gender and sexual minority students?”

Jones Pride members talked with the sophomore student government association. They took it to administration and the P.E. department. Then the adults came to me and said, “Mr. Coleman, can you help us figure this out?” That’s not something I can say no to. The sophomore student government association wanted content on gender and sexual identity development, healthy relationships and laws related to sexual violence.

CPS and the Illinois Safe Schools Alliance have created this incredible K-12 curriculum for schools to be using. I got trained on the full curriculum and found relevant options for the sophomores—healthy relationships, sexual violence. I said, “I can support this, but this has to be schoolwide, and I need more staff. Mr. Coleman will not be teaching comprehensive sex education to the entire sophomore class.” I put out a call to staff, and eight people were willing to get trained and help teach. Over a few days, 470 or so sophomores received three hours straight of curriculum provided by a duo of teachers. This year we’re revising the model to build a partnership between last year’s team and the P.E. department.

People in education want to do right by students. When you hear from students, “This is how you can support us,” it’s much easier to gain traction for new programming.

Is there anything else you want to tell our audience of teachers and parents?

What we’ve been able to do at Jones doesn’t exist in a vacuum. There are powerful things happening at the district level around social-emotional learning and postsecondary planning. There’s amazing professional development coming from the district helping us understand first-generation students and postsecondary planning. I’ve seen that be powerful.

There is district support prioritizing counseling. It’s not just Jones. There’s momentum around creating space, time, energy and priority for counselors around the district. With things happening on the state level around special education, we were able to get a case manager about three months ago. There is money for schools to get additional support with case management.

With Kirsten Perry being the National School Counselor of the Year Last year, it shows we’ve been able to accomplish amazing things in very different environments. [You can read about Perry’s work at North Lawndale Community Academy here.] It really speaks to the wonderful work happening in our district.

An original version of this interview appeared on Chicago Unheard as Jones Counselor Brian Coleman Talks College Access, Sex Ed and Supporting LGBTQ+ Students.

Photos courtesy of Brian Coleman.

I’m a Black Gay Man, and Supporting LGBTQ+ Kids Is Important to Me syndicated from https://sapsnkraguide.wordpress.com

[tuthillscopes-blog]

Genius by numbers: why Hollywood maths movies don't add up

check it out @ https://tuthillscopes.com/genius-by-numbers-why-hollywood-maths-movies-dont-add-up/

Genius by numbers: why Hollywood maths movies don't add up

From The Beautiful Mind towards the Theory of all things anf the husband Who Understood Infinity, Hollywood loves a math wizzard. Why cant it get past the fevered prodigy scribbling equations on home windows?

In the Tina Fey sitcom Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, wealthy Manhattanite Jacqueline Vorhees wails to her assistant that they cant manage to get divorced. Despite the fact that shed get $1m for each year of her marriage.

I spend 100 grand per month. Ill be broke in ten years, she wails. No, thats wrong, counters Kimmy (Ellie Kemper), who scribbles some sums having a marker on Mrs Vorheess window. So $100,000 occasions 12 several weeks. Thats $1.2m annually. Divide that into $12m, you will find, youd be broke in ten years. However if you simply invest a lot of it, presuming a 7% rate of return, while using compound interest formula, your hard earned money would almost double.

Kimmy turns round triumphantly: Mrs Voorhees, I mathed, and you may get divorced! Mrs Vorhees eyes Kimmy narrowly. Individuals aren’t, she complains, erasable markers. What she doesnt mention is the fact that math isnt a verb. Not.

The scene is, amongst other things, Feys satire from the Hollywood cliche of genius squiggling on glass. In A Beautiful Mind (2001), for example, Russell Crowe, playing troubled maths star John Forbes Nash Jr, writes formulae on his dorm window. This scene is echoed in The Social Network (2010), where Andrew Garfield sets the equations for Facebooks business design on the Harvard window while Jesse Eisenbergs Mark Zuckerberg looks on. Within the opening scene of excellent Will Hunting (1997), janitor prodigy Matt Damon writes equations on the bathroom mirror.

So why do a lot of Hollywood maths whizzes forego paper? Stanford mathematician Keith Devlin explains. Depicting a math wizzard scribbling formulas on the piece of paper is much more accurate, however it certainly doesnt convey the look of the person amorously involved with mathematics, along with seeing someone write individuals formulas in steam on the mirror or perhaps in wax on the window, neither is it as being cinematographically dramatic.

Good point. Whenever we see a Beautiful Mind and appear with the window at our Russ, Hollywoods most built math wizzard (counterexamples on postcards, please show your workings), we pass beyond incomprehensive equations and convince ourselves were seeing Genius at the office. Even when, as some critics have complained uncharitably, Russs pi glyphs, greater-than and fewer-than symbols and the like dont seem sensible.

But theres one other way maths movies can confound the Monotony Equation, namely by departing a black hole in which the maths ought to be. The Man Who Knew Infinity, the brand new film starring Dev Patel and Jeremy Irons concerning the great Indian math wizzard Srinivasa Ramanujan, is intriguing in this way. Although we have seen Ramanujan doing maths, mostly the show has an interest in other activities how he falls deeply in love with his wife, the discomfort of separation as he travels from Madras to review at Cambridge, the racism he suffers in England and, most stirringly, the narrative arc from lowly clerk to globally recognised math wizzard.

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Hollywoods most built mathematician Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind. Photograph: Universal Studios

That said, the film has its charming moments. When Hardy visits Ramanujan in a nursing home, he complains about the boring number of the cab that brought him there. Ramanujan begs to differ: 1,729 is the smallest that is expressible as the sum of two cubes in two different ways. Today 1,729 is known as the Hardy-Ramanujan number. How does that work, you may be wondering? Like this: 1729 = 13 + 123 = 93 + 103.

Ramanujans mentor GH Hardy (Irons) is an atheist and rationalist, exasperated that this Indian prodigy cannot produce proofs for his work and, worse, is doubtful that proofs can explain the inexplicable. You wanted to know how I get my ideas, says Ramanujan. God speaks to me. But while the film may sketch two different mathematical philosophies, we leave the cinema with a warm glow that comes from anything but hard thinking.

If you want to learn some more about Ramanujans contribution to mathematics, rent High School Musical. Freeze-frame it at the moment brainy Gabriella Montez challenges her teacher. On the board are two of the equations of the inverse of the constant pi (1/) that Ramanujan offered in his first paper published in England. Shouldnt the second equation read 16 over pi? asks Gabriella. Of course it should.

Cinema often struggles with dramatising difficult ideas, particularly if they are abstract. One way of overcoming that problem is by metaphorical explanation. For instance, in Nicholas Roegs Insignificance (1985), a Marilyn Monroe-like character demonstrates relativity using toy trains and flashing lights. In The Theory of Everything, Jane Hawking uses a pea and a potato to explain the difference between quantum theory and general relativity, while her husbands friends explain Hawking Radiation with beers and crisps.

Movie explanations of difficult stuff, though, may obscure rather than enlighten. Whats more, some directors know this and have fun pointing out the shortcomings of their medium and those of their audiences. In Adam McKays The Big Short (2016), for example, Margot Robbie sits inside a tub sipping champagne and describing how sub-prime loans work. Her explanation is doubtless coherent, however when Im searching in a beautiful lady inside a bubble bath, I am not considering credit default swaps. So sue me. Later within the film, chef Anthony Bourdain chops fish in the kitchen while describing how collateralised debt obligations work. Finally, Selena Gomez plays roulette as one example of the thought of gambling on other bands gambles.

Each scene works as a parody of explanation. They are members of a movie that mocks you, you poor jerk, as well as your intellectual aspirations. You are not ever likely to know how difficult stuff works from watching movies, however much youd prefer to.

Sometimes, though, cinema can provide a genuine understanding of the intellectual process. In Agora (2009), Rachel Weisz as ancient philosopher Hypatia does a test on the shipped to test relative motion. If, she hypothesises, you drop huge sack in the mast as the ship is continuing to move forward, it’ll fall around the deck several ft behind the mast. The sack is dropped and falls much nearer to the mast than she predicted. Hypatia claps her hands in delight. However, you were wrong! states the ships captain. Yes, but it’s definitive proof! The sack behaves as though the boat were stationary.

What am i saying?

I do not know. However the identical principle could be relevant to our planet. It may be getting around the sun’s rays without us realising.

Hypatia, in other words, infers an innovative heliocentric cosmology from her falsified hypothesis. The show thus generously provides for us what we should are effectively denied in Good Will Hunting or perhaps a Beautiful Mind the news about how someone clever is considering an issue. Furthermore, its an antidote to Hollywoods vision of genius. It shows that getting stuff wrong reaches least as vital within the story of human intellectual progress to be right constantly.

Maths is frequently reduced to simply a MacGuffin. In Rushmore (1998), for example, Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) is studying the newspaper while his teacher informs his class that around the blackboard may be the hardest geometry equation on the planet. What credits would anybody solving it get, asks one student. Well, thinking about Ive never witnessed anybody understand it properly, including my mentor Dr Leaky at Durch, I suppose if anybody here can solve this problem, Id ensure that none individuals have to spread out another math book again throughout your lives.

Thus enticed, Fischer folds his paper and would go to the blackboard, and squiggles his solution while nonchalantly sipping espresso. The show at this time is not to declare but Fischers genius. Will we really believe Jason Schwartzmann can compute the region of the ellipse? Sure. Whatever.

Genius squiggling can there be once more just to assist Hollywood tell the sentimental story it never tires of: namely the storyline of somebody usually borderline demented by definition insufficiently recognised sticking it towards the establishment.

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Genius squiggling Rushmore

None of this should suggest we cant learn maths from movies. In Tina Feys Mean Girls (2004), for example, Lindsay Lohan plays a finalist in the Illinois high school mathletes state championship. Will her Northern Coast High team place it to individuals prep school toffs opposite? Heres the initial question: Two times the bigger of two figures is three greater than five occasions the smaller sized, and the sum of the four occasions the bigger and three occasions the smaller sized is 71. Do you know the figures? First got it yet? 14 and 5. Within the finish, Lohans team end up being the new condition champs because she wins the sudden dying tie-break. Exactly what does the scene prove? That individuals individuals who thought She no longer can do maths should certainly talk to her.

Possibly probably the most resonant maths scene in Hollywood cinema, though, comes in an exceedingly old comedy. Within the Abbott and Costello movie Within the Navy (1941), Lou is really a ships prepare. Hes baked 28 doughnuts, which he reckons is just enough to give 13 to each of his seven officers. But seven adopts 28 four occasions, objects Lous straight man. Not too, states Lou, who procedes to prove it around the blackboard inside a masterclass of cheating and illusion. The scene demonstrates an over-all truth, namely that whenever Hollywood does maths, it doesnt always accumulate.

The Man Who Knew Infinity is released on 8 April.

Find out more: http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/apr/06/mathematics-movies-the-man-who-knew-infinity