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azritesx3 · 4 years

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“A Devil’s Love” Chapter 2: Show Me All I Don’t Know

Description: Chloe’s best friend is back, and Lucifer’s charm can’t seem to affect her either. Is she also a miracle child? Or something…more? [Story starts during S2 Ep4, Female Reader Insert]

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AN: Updated March 14, 2020 - Grammar AN: Updated July 14, 2020 - Grammar/Minor changes

Rating: Teen Warning[s]: Swearing

Show Timeline: Season 2 Episode 9

Spotify Playlist /// AO3 Fanfiction Net Wattpad DeviantArt

Tag List: @ayanna-wild, @anushay1998, @emiwrites3reads, @i-am-canada-13, @heart-of-pots-and-pans, @tinyybiceps, @jessicarene99, @lucifersnipnips, @givemebooksorgivemedeath, @sailor-earth-1

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To say your first couple months back home was a walk in the park would be a big fat lie.

Nothing bad really happened. Well, except when your BFF got in that bad car accident and you swore up and down it had something to do with you, but she pushes you away and says she's fine and can't stand you and Lucifer taking the blame.

Why would Lucifer be taking the blame, you thought. So, you ask him. Like any sane person would do who was overprotective of their friends. If you ended up being wrong about this guy being “good” and “nice”, you had to get him away from Chloe.

But no. He's not bad. Just crazy. What with continuing with his “Devil” shtick and claiming it was one of his “Angel” brothers trying to take what his father, aka “God”, gave him in exchange for a favor.

And you thought you were crazy before, but it wasn't true for you, so why would it be true for him?

Oh, and after that whole fiasco poor Chloe finds out that her real father’s killer has been free all this time. No reprimanding, no worries. Just a cop killer who got to continue his life freely. Turns out the killer was Warden Perry Smith, and he was responsible for many set up kills. You remember the failure you felt when Smith managed to destroy his scent from your hounds. The bastard didn’t get far, though. Maze managed to easily capture him, and from then on became the LAPD’s number one bounty hunter.

But, with all that bad came a lot of good. Not easily, of course. It's hard work trying to find a suitable building in the perfect location for your next veterinarian hospital. You, with the help of your trusty sidekick Alice, managed to find just that though.

Next, while you sorted out the building paperwork and searched for a good construction company, you had to find a place to live. That, thankfully, went much quicker than finding the next “Circle of Life Veterinary Clinic” building.

Chloe kept trying to convince you to move in with her instead of Maze, but you politely declined. You didn't want to be the one who made that badass fighter homeless. Besides, you like having your own space.

And to top all that off, you got your old job back as the Captain of the K9 division of the LAPD. You missed training your dogs & officers, plus having that paycheck, the paycheck from the “COL VC” in New York, and the future paycheck of the next “COL VC” building allowed you to not stress financially.

Currently, you are standing in “COL VC #2” watching the progress come along. You smile as you see how well, and fast, things are going. If this keeps up, you'll be able to open up within the month.

Which means you and Alice need to start hiring people.

You sigh to yourself and rub your forehead, closing your eyes. First things first, you had to find some way to properly thank Lucifer for giving you the name of this construction company.

“They are a fantastic company! Did very fine work in my club. Why not come see for yourself tonight?” Lucifer looked at you like he looked at Alice the first day.

“Not a chance.” You smiled at him and crossed your arms, building up a barrier.

“Oooh, playing hard to get are we?” He licked his lips and looked you up and down, “I like it!”

“Ok. This was obviously a bad idea.” You huffed and started to leave Chloe’s desk.

“Wait, K9!” You stopped and turned back towards him, “I’m sorry, truly.” he looked sincere and placed his right hand over his heart, “Here.” He grabbed the yellow sticky notes and a pen from Chloe’s desk and began to write.

“Just tell the owner that you’re with me.” He handed you the note and smiled, “He'll give you a large discount, I'm sure.”

You looked down at the note and couldn't help the thought of how beautiful Lucifer’s handwriting was, “Thank you, Lucifer.” You looked up at him and smiled, a genuine one this time.

“You’re quite welcome, my dear.” He gave you a genuine smile back, then turned flirtatious again, “Though I would like you to come to my club, so you can see what those constructors are really capable of. It’s so sad their talents will be wasted on an animal clinic.”

“Uh-huh.” You shook your head, still smiling, and walked away.

Your phone’s ringtone knocks you back to the present. The call says it’s Chloe, but when you answer it-

“SOME DADDY KILLER BOY IS GOING TO MAKE ME HOMELESS!” Lucifer’s voice blares through your phone so loud that the workers around turn towards you and you swear your ear is bleeding.

“Sooo, you think the perfect way to stop this ‘Daddy Killer Boy’ is to make me go deaf? Well, you’re doing very well so far.” You bring your phone to your none deaf ear and rub the now deaf one.

“The Detective won’t help me-” you can hear Chloe yelling at him in the background saying to give back her phone. You hear a bit of a scuffle, and can imagine Chloe shaking her head as she gets her phone.

“Sorry about that, Earth. Calling you is the only way I can think of to help Lucifer.” You can tell Chloe is saying that last part to him directly, and can just imagine his eye roll.

“What’s going on?”

“Our new case victim is Dean Cooper.”

“That LA real-estate tycoon guy?”

“Yup. It looks like he died having dinner with his possible killer. The killer looks to have shattered a champagne glass and stuck a shard in Dean's throat.”

“Ouch.”

“Ella’s still at the crime scene trying to piece the glass back together in order to get fingerprints.”

“Oh, Ella.” You smile and shake your head, “What a good little scientist.”

“Agreed, if a bit crazy.” Chloe holds in a laugh, “Well, Mr. Cooper was the one who owned the block that Lucifer’s nightclub is on and it seems like Mr. Eric Cooper, Dean's son, is pretty quick in reclaiming his father’s properties.”

“I see…So I’m guessing he’s suspect numero uno?”

“Yes, but this is why I’m calling you,” Chloe gives an audible stressful sigh, “I just...I can’t seem to keep my mind on this case with the court on Perry Smith right around the corner. Plus, with my mom flying in tonight and Dan being busy with a bomb case-”

“You don’t need to say anymore, Chlo. I’ll take care of this. Just send me the address to the crime scene and I’ll take over.”

“Thank you, Earth.” You can just hear the weight lift off your BFF’s shoulder, “I’ll text you the details right now. I owe you one.”

“This is what friends do for each other, Chloe. You should know that by now.” Before you hang up you can hear Lucifer in the background, “Hurry along, K9! Every minute I get closer to homelessness!”

“Proper thank you, here I come.”

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As you pull up to the crime scene you see the medics carrying away a body bag, aka Dean Cooper. So there will be no need to worry about seeing a dead man, but there is an angry British man heading straight towards you.

“Finally! Does my homelessness mean nothing to you?” Lucifer says, but despite being upset he still opens your car door and helps you out.

“Lucifer you’re, like, a zillionaire or whatever.” You nod your thanks and you both head inside the dead man's house, “I highly doubt you’d let yourself be ‘homeless’ for more than an hour, at most.”

“But this is LUX, K9.” You try to ignore Lucifer’s desperation and come up beside Ella, who was just about to complete the champagne glass puzzle.

“Annnd, that’s how we do it!” Ella manages to place the last piece perfectly, stands up and shoves her fist in front of your face, “Ta’vonlu!”

“A puzzle solver and a Trekkie?” You laugh and smile, “Ella, I’m liking you more and more each day.”

“Woohoo! Fellow Trekkie!” Ella’s hand goes from a fist to the Vulcan greeting and you return it. Lucifer’s eye roll is incredibly loud.

Ella gets back to work on scanning the glass for fingerprints and in the meantime, an officer hands you a folder of all info found about Dean Cooper. As you skim through the words you become disappointed, and impressed. It was amazing that a shark like Cooper had no record whatsoever.

“So, can we go to this baby shark now to arrest him and get my home back?” Lucifer stands in front of you, hands intertwined together in front of him.

“We don’t have any proof with which to arrest Eric.” You look at him as you hand the folder back to the officer.

“He has motive. That's all the proof you need!”

“Actually, you may have more than that!” Ella calls out and you go to her. She points to her laptop screen where it clearly states that Eric Cooper’s fingerprints were on the glass that killed his father.

“There you go! Come on chop chop!” Lucifer pushes you by the small of your back out the door and to your car, “We’ve got a baby shark to arrest!”

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You barley park and shut off the engine before Lucifer is out and heading towards the Cooper building, “Lucifer wait!”

“You know, you drive just as slow as the Detective?” Lucifer stops and waits for you to catch up.

“If by slow you mean ‘following traffic laws’ then yeah.” Lucifer just scoffs, “Look, Lucifer.” he looks at you with a bit of interest, he’s never heard you sound serious before.

“I understand how you’re feeling right now, I do,” you lightly touch his arm, “but Chloe has told me how you get sometimes and let me tell you: threatening to tear this guy up or torture him is not going to help you get LUX back, or this case.”

“Very well.” He returns his hand to your lower back and guides you, “I solemnly promise that the man will remain unthreatened and unharmed.”

The sound of a crash and a car alarm blaring causes you both to stop and turn around.

Eric Cooper lays on top of some poor civilian’s car. His body bleeding from almost every pore.

“Not me.” Lucifer holds up his hands in fake surrender.

“Well, shit.”

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You did miss solving cases. Really, you did.

But this one was turning into a real sack of ass.

Eric Cooper was hospitalized for a full twenty-four hours before the hospital allowed his wife, Christi Cooper, to take him home.

A whole twenty-four hours closer to Lucifer's homelessness, and he would not shut up about it.

You and Lucifer arrive at the Cooper house to question Eric and Christi, but all you two got was another real estate shark’s name, Eleanor Bloom. Plus an extra case of nausea for both of you at the sappy love between Eric and Christi.

Eleanor, it turns out, was a real shark. Making sure Eric wasted no time in selling her that property that his father had been sitting on. That property in question was LUX, and even with Lucifer’s charm she was not giving up that land.

Which pissed Lucifer enough to abandon you with this case. Chloe offered to help, but with her father’s killer’s court so close there was no way you were going to burden her even more. You already swore you would solve this case for her, and you meant it.

You follow up on Eleanor's lead, alone, about some shady numbers found in her accountant's books that looked like someone was hiding money. Turns out that money went to some private investigator Dean had hired to investigate someone, but the man wouldn't tell you who. You had a hunch though.

Your hunch had to be put on hold though as one of your officers comes up to you. He says they got a call about an illegal party happening at a building that was supposed to be abandoned by now.

Of course he would.

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You stand before the “supposed to be abandoned” LUX nightclub with an entourage of your officers, and just sigh.

Here we go.

You have your men walk in first with you close behind, and you can hear the music cut off and people booing as soon as they see your men.

“Awww!” You hear Lucifer’s voice clearly over the crowd, “Stormtroopers have arrived, everyone! Don’t worry I’ll deal with the boys in blue.” Lucifer walks towards the officers, “You are the boys in blue, yes? The fun boys in blue aren’t due for another hour.” He chuckles and shows a wad of cash in front of your main guy, Officer Miller.

Miller just gives Lucifer a side smile and looks to his side. Lucifer follows his eye movement and his smile disappears as you walk up.

“K9?”

“I know him, Miller. I got it from here.” You ignore Lucifer and look to your officer.

“You’re sure ma’am?”

“Oh yeah.” Now you look at Lucifer as you pat Miller on the shoulder, “He’s harmless.” You don’t speak again until all the officers have left, “I got to say Lucifer, I’m disappointed.”

You think your eyes might be deceiving you, but Lucifer Morningstar actually looks ashamed. You don't know why, but you actually can’t stand to see him like that.

“I mean,” you throw your hands up and turn around a full 360, “this is the first time I come to your club and you’ve got no music playing, and no one dancing around with no worries?”

You smile at him, cross your arms and raise a brow, “Tisk tisk. I may have to leave a one-star review afterall.”

“Oh ho ho!” Lucifer's light returns in him, “Well, I can’t have that now can I?” He’s smiling ear to ear now, “TURN IT UP!”

The crowd cheers as the music comes back full blast. Everyone resumes their dancing, drinking, laughing, and you can’t help but laugh right along with them.

“K9!” You turn to Lucifer who gives you that beautiful smile, “I didn't know you had it in you!”

“There’s a lot you don't know about me, Lucifer.” You smile back at him.

“Evidently! Come on,” Lucifer grabs your arm and pulls you to the dance floor.

“Oh no, I really shou-”

“Come on, K9!” Lucifer laughs and drags you to the dance floor, “Show me all I don't know!”

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“Oh, now that’s interesting.” Linda watches you and Lucifer dance away together.

“What is?” Mrs. Charlotte Richards, well actually the body of Charlotte Richards that now belongs to the Goddess of all Creation [aka God’s ex-wife and Lucifer’s mother], looks down at the tiny doctor.

“Oh, nothing much.” Linda looks at her and gives a small smile before turning her attention back on you two, “I just thought of something I have to ask a patient of mine about.”

As Linda drinks her martini the Goddess follows her eye line sight and stares at you dancing with her son. Her eye twitches.

“My son was right about you, Doctor.” The Goddess smiles wickedly, “You are incredibly insightful.”

#a devil's love #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer #fanfic #fanfiction #azritesx3 #azookiex3

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azookiex3 · 5 years

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A Devil’s Love - Chapter 2

AN: This chapter is during Season 2 Episode 9!

Warnings: Swearing

Chapter 1: All Bad Things, I Promise

AO3

Fanfiction Net

Chapter 2: All I Don't Know

To say your first couple months back home was a walk in the park would be a big fat lie.

And you thought you were crazy before, but it wasn't true for you, so why would it be true for him?

Oh, and after that whole fiasco poor Chloe finds out that her real father’s killer has been free all this time. No reprimanding, no worries. Just a cop killer who got to continue his life freely. Turned out the killer was Warden Perry Smith, and he was responsible for many set up kills. You remember the failure you felt when Smith managed to destroy his scent from your hounds. The bastard didn’t get far, though. Maze managed to easily capture him, and from then on became the LAPDs number one bounty hunter.

Next, while you sorted out the building paperwork and searched for a good construction company, you had to find a place to live. That, thankfully, went much quicker then finding the next “Circle of Life Veterinary Clinic” building.

Chloe kept trying to convince you to move in with her instead of Maze, but you politely decline. You didn't want to be the one who made that badass fighter homeless. Besides, you like having your own space.

And to top all that off, you got your old job back as the Captain of the K9 division of the LAPD. You missed training your dogs & officers, plus having that paycheck, the paycheck from the “CoL VC” in NY, and the future paycheck of the next CoL building allowed you to not stress financially.

Currently, you were standing in “CoL VC #2” watching the progress come along. You smile as you see how well, and fast, things are going. If this keeps up, you'll be able to open up within the month.

Which means you and Alice need to start hiring people.

You sigh to yourself and rub your forehead, closing your eyes. First things first, you had to find someway to properly thank Lucifer for giving you the name of this construction company.

“They are a fantastic company! Did very fine work in my club. Why not come see for yourself tonight?” Lucifer looked at you like he looked at Alice the first day.

“Not a chance.” You smiled at him and crossed your arms, building up a barrier.

“Oooh, playing hard to get are we?” He licked his lips and looked you up and down, “I like it!”

“Ok. This was obviously a bad idea.” You huffed and started to leave Chloe’s desk.

“Wait, K9!” You stopped and turned back towards him, “I’m sorry, truly,” he looked sincere and placed his right hand over his heart, “Here.” He grabbed the yellow sticky notes and a pen from Chloe’s desk and began to write.

“Just tell the owner that you’re with me,” He handed you the note and smiled, “He'll give you a large discount, I'm sure.”

You looked down at the note and couldn't help the thought of how beautiful Lucifer’s handwriting was, “Thank you, Lucifer.” You looked up to him and smiled, a genuine one this time.

“You’re quite welcome, my dear,” He gave you a genuine smile back, then turned flirtatious again, “Though I would like you to come to my club, so you can see what those constructors are really capable of. It’s so sad their talents will be wasted on a animal clinic.”

“Uh-huh.” You shook your head, still smiling, and walked away.

Your phone’s ringtone knocks you back to the present. The call says it’s Chloe, but when you answer it-

“SOME DADDY KILLER BOY IS GOING TO MAKE ME HOMELESS!” Lucifer’s voice blares through your phone so loud that the workers around turn towards you and you swear your ear is bleeding.

“Sooo, you think the perfect way to stop this ‘Daddy Killer Boy’ is to make me go deaf? Well, you’re doing very well so far,” you bring your phone to your none deaf ear and rub the now deaf one.

“The Detective won’t help me-” You can hear Chloe yelling at him in the background saying to give him back her phone. You hear a bit of a scuffle, and can physically imagine Chloe shaking her head as she gets her phone.

“Sorry about that, Earth. Calling you is the only way I can think of to help Lucifer,” You can tell Chloe is saying that last part to him directly, and can just imagine his eye roll.

“What’s going on?”

“Our new case victim is Dean Cooper.”

“That LA real-estate tycoon guy?”

“Yup. It looks like he died having dinner with his possible killer. The killer looks to have shattered a champagne glass and stuck a shard in Dean's throat.”

“Ouch.”

“Ella’s still at the crime scene trying to piece the glass back together in order to get fingerprints.”

“Oh, Ella,” You smile and shake your head, “What a good little scientist.”

“Agree, if a bit crazy,” Chloe holds in a laugh, “Well Mr. Cooper was the one who owned the block that Lucifer’s nightclub is on and it seems like Mr. Eric Cooper, Dean's son, is pretty quick in reclaiming his father’s properties.”

“I see…So I’m guess he’s suspect numero one?”

“You don’t need to say anymore, Chlo. I’ll take care of this. Just send me the address to the crime scene and I’ll take over.”

“Thank you, Earth,” You can just hear the weight lift off your BFF’s shoulder, “I’ll text you the details right now. I owe you one.”

“This is what friends do for eachother, Chloe. You should know that by now,” before you hang up you can hear Lucifer in the background, “Hurry along, K9! Every minute I get closer to homelessness!”

“Proper thank you, here I come.”

As you pull up to the crime scene you see the medics carrying away a body bag, aka Dean Cooper. So, there will be no need to worry about seeing a dead man, but there is an angry british man heading straight towards you.

“Finally! Does my homelessness mean nothing to you?” Lucifer says, but despite being upset he still opens your car door and helps you out.

“Lucifer you’re, like, a zillionaire or whatever,” you nod your thanks and you both head inside the dead man's house, “I highly doubt you’d let yourself be ‘homeless’ for more than an hour, at most.”

“But this is LUX, K9.” You try to ignore Lucifer’s desperation and come up besides Ella, who was just about to complete the champagne glass puzzle.

“Annnd, that’s how we do it!” Ella manages to place the last piece perfectly, stands up and shoves her fist in front of your face, “Ta’vonlu!”

“A puzzle solver and a Trekkie?” You laugh and smile, “Ella, I’m liking you more and more each day.”

“Woohoo! Fellow Trekkie!” Ella’s hand goes from a fist to the Vulcan greeting and you return it. The face Lucifer gives the two of you is pure confusion.

Ella gets back to work on scanning the glass for fingerprints, and in the meantime an officer hands you a folder on all info found about Dean Cooper. As you skim through the words you became disappointed, and impressed. It was amazing that a shark like Cooper had no record whatsoever.

“So, can we go to this baby shark now to arrest him and get my home back?” Lucifer stands in front of you, hands intertwined together in front of him.

“We don’t have any proof with which to arrest Eric,” you look to him as you hand the folder back to the officer.

“He has motive. That's all the proof you need!”

“Actually, you may have more than that,” Ella calls out and you go to her. She points to her laptop screen where it clearly states that Eric Coopers fingerprints were on the glass that killed his father.

“There you go! Come on chop chop,” Lucifer pushes you by the small of your back out the door and to your car, “We’ve got a baby shark to arrest!”

You barley park and shut off the engine before Lucifer is out and heading towards the Cooper building, “Lucifer wait!”

“You know, you drive just as slow as the Detective?” Lucifer stops and waits for you to catch up.

“If slow you mean ‘following traffic laws’ then yeah.” Lucifer just scoffs, “Look, Lucifer,” he looks to you with a bit of interest, he’s never heard you sound serious before.

“I understand how you’re feeling right now, I do,” You lightly touch his arm, “But Chloe has told me how you get sometimes and let me tell you: threatening to tear this guy up or torture him is not going to help you get LUX back, or this case.”

“Very well,” he returns his hand to your lower back and guides you, “I solemnly promise that the man will remain unthreatened and unharmed.”

The sound of a crash and a car alarm blaring cause you both to stop and turn around.

Eric Cooper laid on top of some poor civilian’s car. His body bleeding from almost every pore.

“Not me.” Lucifer holds up his hands in fake surrender.

“Well, shit.”

You did miss solving cases. Really, you did.

But this one was turning into a real sack of ass.

Eric Cooper was hospitalized for a full twenty four hours before the hospital allowed his wife, Christi Cooper, to take him home.

A whole twenty four hours closer to Lucifer's homelessness, and he would not shut up about it.

Which pissed Lucifer enough to abandoned you with this case. Chloe offered to help, but with her father’s killer’s court so close there was no way you were going to burden her even more. You already swore you would solve this case for her, and you meant it.

Your hunch had to be put on hold though as one of your officers comes up to you. He says they got a call about an illegal party happening at a building that was supposed to be abandoned by now.

Of course he would.

You stand before the “suppose to be abandoned” LUX nightclub with an entourage of your officers, and just sigh.

Here we go.

You have your men walk in first with you close behind, and you can hear the music cut off and people booing as soon as they see your men.

“Awww,” You hear Lucifer’s voice clearly over the crowd, “Stormtroopers have arrived, everyone! Don’t worry I’ll deal with the boys in blue.” Lucifer walks towards the officers, “You are the boys in blue, yes? The fun boys in blue aren’t due for another hour.” He chuckles and shows a wad of cash in front of your main guy, Officer Miller.

Miller just gives Lucifer a side smile and looks to his side. Lucifer follows his eye movement and his smile disappears as you walk up.

“K9?”

“I know him, Miller. I got it from here.” You ignore Lucifer and look to your officer.

“You’re sure ma’am?”

“Oh yeah,” now you look at Lucifer as you pat Miller on the shoulder, “He’s harmless.” You don’t speak again until all the officers have left, “I got to say Lucifer, I’m disappointed.”

You think your eyes might be deceiving you, but Lucifer Morningstar actually looks ashamed and distraught. You don't know why, but you actually can’t stand to see him like that.

“I mean,” you throw your hands up and turn around a full 360, “This is the first time I come to your club and you’ve got no music playing, and no people dancing around with no worries?”

You smile at him, cross your arms and raise a brow, “Tisk tisk. I may have to leave a one star review afterall.”

“Oh ho ho!” Lucifer's light returns in him, “Well, I can’t have that now can I?” He’s smiling ear to ear now, “TURN IT UP!”

The crowd cheers as the music comes back full blast. Everyone resumes their dancing, drinking, laughing, and you can’t help but to laugh right along with them.

“K9!” You turn to Lucifer who gives you that beautiful smile, “I didn't know you had it in you!”

“There’s a lot you don't know about me, Lucifer,” You smile back at him.

“Evidently! Come on,” Lucifer grabs your arm and pulls you to the dance floor.

“Oh no no no! I don’t-”

“Come on, K9!” Lucifer laughs and drags you to the dance floor, “Show me all I don't know!”

“Oh, now that’s interesting.” Dr. Linda Martin was watching you and Lucifer dance away together.

“What is?” Mrs. Charlotte Richards, well actually the body of Charlotte Richards that now belongs to the Goddess of all Creation [aka God’s ex wife and Lucifer’s mother], looks down at the tiny doctor.

“Oh, nothing much,” Linda looks at her and gives a small smile before turning her attention back on you two, “I just thought of something I have to ask a patient of mine about.”

As Linda drinks her martini the Goddess follows her eye line sight and stares at you dancing with her son. Her eye twitches.

“My son was right about you, Doctor,” the Goddess smiles wickedly, “You are incredibly insightful.”

Tag List: @insanity-is-always-fun @anushay1998 @emiwrites3reads @i-am-canada-13

#lucifer #Lucifer Morningstar #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer on netflix #lucifer x reader

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nadziejastar · 5 years

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Part two of my idea on how X could’ve been implemented better. Have it only be mentioned in the reports and possibly by Saix and Axel. And even then make it a minor thing. Make Isa and Lea the forefront and X in the background. Like she was just another test subject. Nothing fancy like cannon. Keep her role vauge at best. Also 50 bucks that X, Isa and Lea’s relationship is gonna have no development or anything of the sorts. It’s just gonna be stated, like Riku and Kairi friendship in KH3

Yes, exactly! I don’t know how it got to the point where the story got so butchered that they decided to make Lea and Isa apprentices instead of just making Skuld another victim along with them. There was so much more potential with them all being part of the experiments. If she was a lab rat, they would have far more reason to care about her so much, since they would personally be able to understand her pain. I would have had NO problem with another test subject being involved with their backstory and them reuniting later and becoming friends with her. It would have made perfect sense.

I wouldn’t have cared if KH4 involved them looking for her, either. But you have to show the audience something to make us care, and it has to be believable. Not just TELL us. Oh, they’re super close because they spoke to her a few times in the shadows. I also agree completely that they’re probably just going to write it where Skuld is their best friend and it’s just gonna be stated as fact, like Riku and Kairi, lol. That’s what KH3 made it seem like. But it didn’t have to be that way.

When we did manage our way inside, we spoke with her. That was all the comfort two children like us could offer. But Lea had other ideas. He was determined to free her. We slipped into the castle that day knowing only that we wanted, with all our hearts, to save her. But we did not find her inside on that day or the next, or any of our subsequent visits. Had she been moved? Had we simply imagined her?

I completely agree that her role should have been vague at best. My biggest problem is that Lea and Isa became apprentices, and their goal the whole time in Organization XIII was to find information on this girl. I’m sorry but that’s waaay too much of a stretch. Even in canon, it seems like Lea and Isa only spoke to her in the shadows and in hushed whispers. They never even saw what she looked like. You know, they could have even kept this idea and still made it work. It might have even been more touching that way.

My only solace was the time I spent talking with the two boys who would visit from time to time. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch. Even now, years on, I feel no closer to understanding who or what I am. May my heart be my guiding key.

Maybe she was in a cell close to Lea and Isa, and they all spoke in hushed whispers when the apprentices weren’t around. They may not have ever seen her, but she would be special to them because they all mutually comforted each other. It would be realistic and believable for them to have an attachment to her in that case. Then she disappeared, and they never knew what happened to her. That is fine. Nothing too drastic. Doesn’t take the spotlight off of Lea and Isa. Doesn’t forcefully try to make her their BFF.

The experiments caused the test subject's heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle. Some time later, I went below and was greeted by the strangest sight. Creatures that seemed born of darkness...What are they? Are they truly sentient beings? Could they be the shadows of those who lost their hearts in my experiments?

Even all the way back when I first played vanilla KH2, after reading all the secret reports, I thought that Axel was probably one of the test subjects from the experiments. That’s how perfectly it fit every single aspect of his character, and how a decent guy like him wound up in Organization XIII. It explained his hatred of Zexion and Vexen, his bleak outlook on having a next life, and his unusual relationship with Roxas. Axel lost his childhood and loved being around Roxas because he was like Sora---purehearted and innocent. That’s how I’ve always viewed Axel. Days and BBS just convinced me of it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

The shadows that crawl beneath the castle...Are they the people who lost their hearts, or incarnations of darkness? Or something entirely beyond my imagination? All my knowledge has provided no answer. One thing I am sure of is that they are entirely devoid of emotion.

Even aaaall the way back in the original CoM when he was first introduced, I think Axel was written with the idea in mind that he was a former test subject. He was always a test subject, IMO. During the experiments, Xehanort lost a lot of subjects. I think that was what they were trying to parallel in Days, when half the organization members got wiped out and Axel’s survival was in question.

Perhaps further study will unlock the mysteries of the heart. Fortunately, there is no shortage of test samples. They are multiplying underground even as I write this report. They still need a name. Those who lack hearts... I will call them the Heartless.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that Axel mentioned the organization’s mission to “unlock the mysteries of the heart” while talking about people turning into Heartless and the strength of Sora’s heart. Xehanort wanted to unlock the heart’s mysteries by studying the Heartless in the basement. Axel seemed like he was speaking from personal experience when he mentioned people turning into Heartless and losing their minds and feelings, which he probably witnessed firsthand. There’s no way he’d be involved willingly with that shit, even if he was an apprentice.

The Heartless appear in groups, and are multiplying rapidly. I've provided them both living and nonliving samples. They've responded only to the living. They seem to multiply after absorbing something from the living creatures. Their prey vanishes without a trace. I believe the Heartless are taking hearts. They are born from those who've lost their hearts, and thrive on hearts seized from others. The hearts taken by the Heartless become Heartless themselves.

This girl could be someone they assumed got turned into a Heartless and they’d never see again. Xehanort was providing both living and nonliving samples to the Heartless. So, I’m assuming that meant dead people and living people. The dead people would be useless to the apprentices, so it’s easy to understand why they’d be used to study the Heartless. The living samples provided to the Heartless must not have been seen as very valuable if he was risking them like that. Or, it might have been some kind of punishment for disobedience.

One by one, the Dusks went over the gate and the walls surrounding the mansion. A great number of them were wounded and faded away on the barrier.

No matter when I see the Dusks–to see those guys, Nobodies like me–destroyed, it doesn’t feel good.

Makes me think about how someday I’ll be erased in the same way.

Axel had a HUGE, deeply ingrained fear of disappearing. They could have connected Subject X’s disappearance with that. In the novel, Xigbar called Saïx a “kid without a heart”. He also seemed to view Axel as a kid.

Axel’s attention was on the bridge where Xaldin had fallen. Unlike when a Heartless fell, the Nobodies of the organization turned to darkness and evaporated into nothing. The sight was like watching his own future unfold. It rattled him.

He spoke like he had a lot of experience with Lea having outbursts while the experiments were going on, which he saw as “tantrums”. Lea seemed to be a more naturally bold and fearless person. Isa was probably a more timid and submissive kid, like Ienzo.

Zexion As he shares something like a master-servant or teacher-student relationship with Xemnas, like Saix, he is a character with strong connections. While he was the superior in that regard, perhaps that was ultimately his downfall. It is likely that if Marluxia and Axel had not betrayed him in Castle Oblivion, he would have played a central role within the Organization. –Nomura

Saïx wanted Zexion gotten rid of because he was his biggest rival for being Xemnas’s lapdog. The experiments were focused on getting a person to renounce their sense of self. People like Lea, who have a strong will, would need to be dealt with in some way. I can see him having “tantrums” over it.

Saïx’s response was icy. “That’s no concern of yours.”

“What about Axel?” he pressed.

Hearing that name, Saïx narrowed his eyes faintly, not even enough for Roxas to notice. He wasn’t attuned to such subtle changes.

“Who knows,” Saïx finally said. “Perhaps he is among the lost.”

It seemed like Isa ALSO had a huge fear of people disappearing.

“None of your concern.”

Xion had expected as much. Saïx never answered her questions.

Then Xigbar poked his face between them. “As cold to Poppet as always, aren’t you—Saïx.” Saïx pointedly ignored him.

Xigbar is always coming to talk to me. He talks to me a lot more than Saïx, so I like him.

“They’re saying Roxas fainted or something, and he’s still out like a light,” Xigbar supplied.

“Huh?” Xion started. Roxas was unconscious…?

“You worried?” Xion nodded at Xigbar. “Heh heh, you’re so cute, Poppet. I can take you to see him after.”

Xigbar started teasing him when Xion was worrying about Roxas.

Maybe she had been sent away somewhere on a long-term mission, like Axel at Castle Oblivion. But…asking about Axel seemed to put Saïx in such a foul mood, Roxas couldn’t bring himself to inquire after Xion.

And when Roxas asked Saïx about Axel, it put him in a really foul mood.

“Humph… all those in the way were rounded up and sent there, that’s all.”

Saïx is probably telling the truth. Those other members of the Organization were in Saïx’s way… no, in our way. But, I wonder why I can’t help being sarcastic about it.

“Don’t tell me I was one of those?” He said it with a grin, but the hint of a frown tugged at the scar between Saïx’s brows.

Looks like he didn’t appreciate that joke.

“You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

It sounded like Axel was making a joke referencing a specific incident from their past. Saïx got the reference and was NOT amused by the joke. It put him in a foul mood. Based on the way he spoke, I think Axel was referring to a time when Isa was very worried about Lea, who might have been eliminated. That basement might have been where people who were “in the way” were sent and Isa was terrified he’d never see Lea again. Braig probably had a lot of fun while that was going on. This is why Axel didn’t want to ask if Saïx was worried about him while he was gone.

With no other choice, Axel opened his mouth. “If you’ve got troubles, you tell them to your friends… right? Roxas.”

And I don’t think Lea was the only one who got sent to that basement.

“I’m simply caught up in it. If there’s something, please don’t hide it from me, tell me.” Axel got up off the shelf and put his hand on Saïx’s shoulder from behind, peering into that face.

When Saïx was in a bad mood over Xion being a failure, it seemed to be deliberately similar to when Xion couldn’t use her Keyblade and she thought she’d be turned into a Dusk for being useless.

“What’s wrong, Xion?” It was Axel who had noticed, peering into Xion’s face.

“Soon… the other members are going to find out that I can’t use the Keyblade, aren’t they…” said Xion, head down.

“We told you, it will be okay,” said Roxas, peering into her face too this time.

After Saïx rejected Axel, he was thinking how much things had changed between them compared to the old days. Axel was a bit more blunt about it in the manga, but the concept was the same. Saïx was so hard on Xion because she reminds him of how HE used to be dubbed as the useless “failure”.

So, I think both Lea and Isa got sent into that basement and they had to survive against Heartless. Isa was probably terrified that he’d be turned into a Heartless, and Lea worked twice as hard so they’d both survive, like Roxas did when Xion lost her Keyblade. They probably assumed that Subject X had been sent into that basement before she disappeared and were traumatized by it. If they found out that she actually didn’t, I could see them trying to find her. I would have been completely fine with that. It would have given them both a new goal for the future without feeling contrived.

#kingdom hearts #kh axel #kh saix #kh lea #kh isa

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petersvibes · 6 years

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never can say goodbye pt. 1 - peter parker

anonymous asked:

Hey! Can I request a Peter P. Imagine where he and y/n where bff and one day they got into a huge fight because he was always late and she didn’t knew why (because of his spidey duty) and Peter said smth in the fight that made y/n cry and run away and then she didn’t talked to him for 3 weeks and you can make a fluffy end? Thank u❤❤❤❤❤❤

description: peter’s been acting strange and it starts to drive y/n crazy. (platonic relationship through and through)

song: never can say goodbye - the jackson 5

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

warnings: language

author’s note: yes i name things after songs it’s a thing. send me songs you like. sorry if she doesn’t exactly run away and i might not write a part two because i’m dead inside lol.

Peter isn’t and has never been good at lying.

You learned his tell when you were about five. His uncle Ben felt it was necessary for the two of you to learn card games, ranging from poker to go fish. Both of you picked up these games relatively quickly, and soon you were rushing home after school, trying to outsmart each other for hours. Out of all the games you learned to play, and even the ones the two of you made up, you had a particular affinity for ‘Cheat’; for against Peter, you could win every time. And ever since he those initial few games, he’s done the same thing. If Peter’s lying, he looks you dead in the eye, but he always swallows.

Peter would only lie to you on occasion, though. Like your twelfth birthday, when he tried to throw you a surprise party that you learned about three weeks beforehand. It was amusing really; watching Peter pretend he wasn’t rushing off to party supply shops, or talking about you before you entered the room. The delighted look on his face when you walked into the party was too adorable to even consider thwarting and to this day, you had never had the heart to tell him you knew all along.

But Peter is not a liar. In fact, he’s so innocently honest that at times, it drives you insane. As you grew older, you somehow grew closer to the point where you could tell each other anything. To Peter, lying to you is practically impossible. Or, at least it used to be.

As the clock strikes midnight, you feel your heart stop as your anxieties start to better you. You’ve gone over every possible reason he could have to not be in your room, right now, taking you to the art exhibit that he swore he’d take you to tonight, as he’s made up countless excuses the weekends previous.

Peter must be dead.

He must be dead, because that is the only way you could possibly be okay with him ditching you like this. You convince yourself that he’s been hit by a car, or shot, or something along those lines. For the twelfth time that night, you press his contact number on your phone, even though you know at this point, you won’t get an answer. Again, you are redirected to Peter’s voicemail. Frustrated with his cheery prerecorded message, one that features your voice teasing him at the end, you fling your phone across your room, not even cringing when you hear it collide with your wall. From somewhere far away, your mother yells at you to stop pacing but you ignore her, practically wearing tracks into your rug.

You feel like you’ve been watching your life from the outside for the better part of a year now. Peter, your best friend since birth, sneaks around behind your back, whispering with Ned like you’re not even there. He disappears without a trace, only to site stupid excuses like grocery shopping with May or helping find his neighbors cat. As if you don’t know you can’t have pets in your own damn building. You are just so sick and tired of being treated like an idiot by the one person you once thought respected you the most.

Finally, you rip off your jacket, accepting the defeat as if you didn’t already know this was bound to happen. In tears you didn’t even know were streaming down your face, you angrily get ready for bed, glancing at your memory board adorned with pictures of you and Peter throughout the course of your friendship. You feel nothing but woe when you see the picture of the two of you taken on the first day of kindergarten, one that always used to bring a smile to your face. That relationship feels merely fictional now.

With a thunderous thud that interrupts your train of thought, the fumbling teenage boy occupying your mind stumbles in through your window, landing in a heap on your floor. You simple glare at Peter as he stumbles back on his feet, his chest heaving in the process. He flashes you one of his dorky, sheepish smiles, but it does nothing to ease you in any way.

Peter starts to walk towards you, but you step back, a frown spreading on his face. “I’m sorry I’m late (Y/N) but I-”

You scoff and he’s silent, asking yourself, and some higher power, if he’s truly being serious. “Late?” You repeat, your words looming with humorous undertones. “You were supposed to be here at five. It’s fucking MIDNIGHT!” You scream, knowing for sure you’ll be yelled at in the morning. He approaches you again with open palms as a sign of peace, but for the first time in your life, you genuinely want to punch him.

“You’re always late Peter! I don’t think you’ve shown up for anything on time in the past three months!” You argue, wishing you could force him to see your seemingly obvious duress.

He bites his lip. “It’s the Stark Internship. I’m busy.” He says, slowly, but just as you knew he would, he swallows. You roll your eyes, infuriated by Peter’s audacity.

You sit down on your bed, groaning as you rub your fingers through your hair. “Don’t you dare lie to my face, Peter.” You cover your eyes with your palms, your head throbbing from the stress. He doesn’t even bother trying to defend himself, his head hanging in shame.

You place your hand on your chest, looking at Peter through your tearing up eyes. You close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. “I just want you to be honest with me Peach.” You plead, the old nickname sounding foreign as it rolls off your tongue. “Why won’t you just talk to me?”

He stands there, with clammy palms and slouched posture, and he almost gives up. His Spider-Man suit is still under his normal clothes, and all it would take is just the removal of his sweater in order to give you any form of resolution. The lying, the sneaking around, it’s growing tortuous and he hates it. But still, in the back of his mind, plays the memory of what happened with the Vulture. And somewhere in there, is the imagined scenario of an even more menacing villain that would use you to get to him. The concept of you getting hurt in any way, especially because of him, is the most terrifying thing he can think of.

Peter folds his arms over his chest, his expression hardening. “Because you don’t mean anything to me anymore (Y/N).”

Your mouth gapes and you feel like he’s quite physically ripped a piece of your heart out his chest. The shock you feel from his words is so sudden that you almost wonder if you’ve been plunged in the middle of your worse nightmare The tension in your room is held taut by the force of his words; the air thick and choking. It’s in those moments you’re staring incredulously at his look of conviction, that you realize that the once kindred friendship between you and Peter has disintegrated with a simple sentence.

He leaves before you can see him swallow.

#peter parker x reader #peter x reader #peter parker imagines #peter parker one shot #tom holland peter parker #peter parker reader insert #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker/reader #peter parker/you #peter parker #spiderman x reader

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: 💕 Janis: feeling the love 'cos corporate making ya, hey? Janis: how many holiday drinks you made today Jimmy: feels like billions Jimmy: not the kinda wrist action to be #buzzing about Janis: here's hoping you working commission lad Janis: is any? 🤔 #hotdatewithjane Jimmy: Tam's been in and out all day earning you those kicks you desire Jimmy: #notsosecretadmirer Jimmy: can't stay away on this special day Janis: Christ, you'd think she wouldn't wanna be seen DEAD outside her house, single, on this most sacred day Janis: gotta be stringing her along with lingering just a little too long when handing over the caffeine, good job babe �� Janis: think Grace is lowkey in hiding Janis: too late to even frantically swipe right on tinder now ladies Jimmy: Tell her Bobby'll be round Jimmy: He would if date night wasn't past his bedtime like Janis: 😂 bless Janis: all got our cross to bear, kid Janis: can't get my date out without a leash and promises of treats 🤷 Jimmy: Speaking of bitches, I seen Mia's timed her latest for the stockholm syndrome to kick in right on time Janis: look, i know you're bitter 'cos i've chucked you for better but don't bad mouth the bae, ok? Janis: forreal tho, they have schedules, like clockwork Janis: a new man for every occasion, this one won't last 'til her bday Jimmy: Keeping my hands where Tams can't see or cuff 'em Janis: 😏 tmi Janis: and unhygienic to boot, you serve lattes with those hands Jimmy: filthy 🧠 Jimmy: it's the company you keep Jimmy: Twix's gone from trying to shit in my dad's shoes to humping 'em Janis: whoa now, i didn't teach her that Janis: but think about it, from a scatological foot fetish to just a bit of vanilla pre-teen humping of inanimate objects Janis: it IS a step in the right direction Jimmy: But you are about treating 'em mean to keep 'em keen Janis: Your kicks are safe, dun' worry Janis: if she's taught me anything, not the way into the good books 😇 Jimmy: If you wanna aim for my work shoes I won't complain Jimmy: A day off is a day off Jimmy: Warn me first though, unless you're into those kind of surprises Janis: Best not to be seen with each other today Janis: don't wanna give everyone the wrong idea Janis: but nice try, you'll have to stick to burning yaself and the like if you wanna bunk Jimmy: Tammy's bound to help me with that Jimmy: #likeagiraffeonice Janis: She's beauty, she's graces Janis: wants you to cum all over her face Jimmy: fingers crossed she'll melt mine off first Jimmy: Better with that Janis: fair Janis: no way you've got the reach Jimmy: 💕 #whenbaebelievesinyou Janis: what, you want me to offer help with target practice? Janis: nice try dickhead 😜 Jimmy: Romance isn't dead there's the proof Jimmy: What are you doing today, aside from belly rubs for the bae Janis: gotta do something, don't I? feel bad like Janis: slayed the gift game and I really phoned it in so obvs gotta give out those sexual favours Janis: nowt though, trying to avoid seeing all the lovey-dovey couples making me wanna vom Janis: letting Tam work her magic in peace 😘 welcome like Jimmy: 💔🐶🎻 Jimmy: Making drinks with my eyes closed 'cause same Jimmy: Crack on Tam #tallgirlsneedlovetoo Janis: any barista will do 🎶 Janis: wanna hang when the madness is over Jimmy: The way this queue is going there isn't gonna be goodies left to bring you Jimmy: But I'm sweet enough😎 Jimmy: So yeah Janis: Bummer Janis: guess I can't kick you outta bed for that alone Janis: let you tot up negatives throughout the day, standard Jimmy: Got a pen behind my ear Jimmy: Come at me Janis: never could resist a challenge Janis: 🙄 walked into that one Janis: can we do something not shit Janis: don't need to see you slurping down spaghetti lady and the tramp stylee Jimmy: 💔 I'll shoo away all the strays I've gathered Jimmy: Only one dog for you like Jimmy: But of course that's how we stay goals Jimmy: any old shit won't do 💪🏆 Janis: 🎻 Janis: okay good Janis: play your cards right and get it right Janis: i'll spring for the motel 😉 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: for once i'll be rooting for you Janis: my parents are unbearable at the best of times Janis: 🤢 Janis: actually cannot deal Jimmy: My dad and his girlfriend are still early days enough that they can bear to be in the same room Jimmy: I won't fail Janis: oh the honeymoon period Janis: disgusting Janis: thank god we got that out of the way with a fake relationship so you know my true feelings 😏 Jimmy: yeah thanks mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: welcome, buddy o' pal o' mine Jimmy: Done Jimmy: I've worked it out Janis: taking a particularly difficult shit? Janis: again, don't need these intimate updates honey Janis: not #goals Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: No, what's goals is what we're gonna do, babe 😏 Jimmy: Keeping you outta the house 'til there's no cringe factor left Janis: Ahh Janis: colour me intrigued Jimothy Janis: what's the dress code? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Nothing Tam would be seen dead in Janis: Alright, no body con that shows all my worst bits, gotcha Janis: do I get ANY clues? Curious 🙀 right here Jimmy: You might just make yourself a new bae Jimmy: But pace yourself mate Janis: 😳 Janis: i don't own any PVC clothing, you know that, yeah? Jimmy: I do now 🎻 Janis: 😂 can literally hear Gracie in my head asking me what i'm like rn Janis: letting ya man down on vday Janis: honestly Jimmy: when one twin's a giver and the other's a taker 😂 Janis: tbf, we BOTH told you you'd got the wrong one but Janis: cloth ears you Jimmy: Down for the challenge Jimmy: Too late to not be a stubborn dickhead, me Janis: looks like we're both stuck then, lad Jimmy: there's that #realtalk mate Janis: can't say we didn't both give it a fair go Janis: #longdistanceloveinskerries #teenagerunaway Jimmy: You'll always have Twix 💕 Janis: gotta have someone to rely on init Jimmy: #tea Janis: #scaldedagain #jobhazard Jimmy: [Sends a selfie of an actual burn/on the job hazard] Jimmy: Stuff of fantasies that Janis: Poor baby! Has Tam not offered to 💋 it better? Janis: #slacking Jimmy: She's got her 👀 a bit lower down Jimmy: I'm just a piece of 🍖 Jimmy: The real hazard Janis: start a # about it Janis: 'cos can't blame her Janis: part of the problem, truly Jimmy: Will do Janis: being all distracting there with your apron and that Janis: asking for it Jimmy: I thought it was the shoes Jimmy: Sexy from head to toe like Jimmy: 🐶💗 Janis: 😋 something certainly got tongues n tails wagging Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: The company I keep, I think 😉 Janis: valid, the bitches love me 😍 Jimmy: Alright, save it for the 'gram Jimmy: #humblebrag Janis: Twix is a busy lady, only got you scheduled in so far Janis: guess the fans will have to make do with your mug 😜 Jimmy: unlucky lads and lasses Janis: they love it Janis: 'til some other cunt is unlucky enough to be enrolled in our school, you're gonna stay flavour of the month 🍦 Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: meanwhile, i gotta wait 'til the next fam scandal 'til I'm relevant again Janis: such is life Janis: not that its ever THAT long 🙄 Jimmy: Whip up some fake drama for you to hide in if you want Jimmy: Crack 'em out with the lattes Janis: I don't doubt you're capable Janis: just getting over sinkgate 😏 Mr. Lucas never will 😉 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: He's one of the only dickheads who hasn't been in today Jimmy: Still time 🤞 Janis: think a milky earl grey is his shout Janis: get it ready, really impress him Janis: more than you did, obvs Jimmy: The coffee breath and forehead vein says espresso though 🤔 Jimmy: Man o mystery Janis: 🤤 Janis: so hot Jimmy: More competition is it? Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Using you as a ploy to get him hot under that starched collar all along Janis: soz babes 😘 Jimmy: I should've known your real goal was to get under that lumpy jumper Janis: 😂 Janis: know he's got the goods under it Jimmy: Can't fight the feeling Janis: s'a real shame the hottest female teacher we've got is that TA with the wonky fringe and clompy shoes Janis: who you got your sights set on next? Jimmy: always been about a wonky fringe meself Jimmy: Clompy shoes are a massive bonus when Twix is being a mad bitch underfoot too like Janis: draw the line there pal Janis: gotta get the dog in the divorce like Janis: not letting that hipster bitch anywhere near Jimmy: 🥊 Jimmy: going down swinging Janis: if she doesn't scream cat lady as is, she's defs into weird pets like fucking Janis: stick insects Janis: hope you're soooo happy together like 🖕 not even mad Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: nice to have your blessing, mate Jimmy: be my best man on the day Janis: literally fuck off Janis: only just got rid of the lesbian rumours and you wanna put me in a suit WHILST friendzoning me Janis: nah 😤 Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: found a challenge she won't accept Janis: only way i'm showing up is if you invite all your exes and put us on a table so we can chat mad shit on you Janis: be a man about it, boy Jimmy: card table at the back, couple of chairs so you can place your bets 👍 Janis: more like it Janis: hook up with your actual best man Janis: pure spite and alcohol fuelling me Jimmy: It'd probs be Cass so best not Jimmy: no good for the rep Janis: 😡 Janis: same tho, if i ever got hitched (ignoring the unlikeliness of that) i'd have to hit up the sibs for those bridesmaids and ting Janis: least my fam is good for numbers if not company like Jimmy: Grace has used her twin senses and is moodboarding somewhere rn Jimmy: Unlucky Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: vietnam flashbacks rn Janis: you know how many fake weddings of hers i've attended Jimmy: I can imagine Jimmy: And am Jimmy: Cute 😂 Janis: Fuck off Janis: shame your dad don't wanna be bffs Janis: can't hit him up for embarrassing pics and stories to use against you Jimmy: Another win to my name Janis: 🖕 Janis: sincerely hope you get a beverage thrown in ur face Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wish you'da got me some earplugs Jimmy: Come on over mate, I've got loads Jimmy: #whenyourdadisdating Janis: literally Janis: at least you know its the same woman to avoid when she runs to the bog to clean herself up Janis: Pablo already on 2nd of the day Janis: Need a way to let 'em know Jimmy: Gotta have a sleepover with your real bae Jimmy: Twix'll sort 'em Jimmy: Sticking her nose in, literally like Janis: Oh that sweet curious girl Janis: some things she never need see 🙈 Jimmy: #nosybitchproblems Janis: getting dirt on enemy #1 anyway she can Janis: those bribe bones coming her way Jimmy: Happy v-day to her Janis: Maybe you and wonky fringe can have a fuck-off Janis: bet she's a right goer when you get the hair down and glasses off like Jimmy: Invite you and Mr Lucas for the post shag debrief Jimmy: Give you a /10 Janis: Naturally Janis: so curious to know how I rank 😒 Jimmy: Always a 10 with Twix Janis: 🙌 Janis: that'll help with the rep Jimmy: Me and Killer'll take the heat off with our new relationship shine Janis: yeah it loves you Janis: daft fucking dog Jimmy: Pity I can't turn the 💕 into 💰 Jimmy: Loads of lattes no will to keep slinging 'em Janis: Looking for a career change? Janis: fame getting too real? Jimmy: Got me looking like a deer in the headlights Jimmy: Tammy's livid Jimmy: There can only be one Janis: 'bout to be a bloodbath in CG Jimmy: Place your bets, mate Janis: hmm Janis: Tams got the reach like but reckon she's mostly talk n neck Janis: nan's not been in has she? 😉 Jimmy: She's serving me that 💔 while I crane my own neck looking out for her all day long Jimmy: no sign yet Janis: Gutted Janis: even she's feeling the lurve today Janis: literally no place to go Janis: so tragic Jimmy: About to eat my feelings like a proper flat white squad member Jimmy: Speaking of feeling that l.u.r.v.e did you hear how many cards Cass got sent? Jimmy: 7 Janis: WHAT Janis: get it gurl but also fuck off lads she's too lil Jimmy: walking about like its nowt Jimmy: 😎 Janis: thank god Janis: no one needs that ego boost Janis: fuming tbh Jimmy: Bobs made one at school Jimmy: guess who for Janis: Aww, bless him Janis: she does need that boost Janis: he gonna hand-deliver? Jimmy: He's insisting Jimmy: So be about Jimmy: You got one too Jimmy: moving in on my lass Janis: we in, have to kick the empty ice cream cartons out the way like but find us in front of bridget jones or similar Janis: i'm honoured like 😊 Jimmy: Yours is bigger but hers has more glitter Jimmy: Can't call a winner Janis: size matters Janis: #facts Janis: soz Gracie, gotta fight you or you'll get too comfy Jimmy: Just don't let her vlog it Jimmy: Don't need porno style #s going viral Janis: MY TWIN ATTACKED ME!?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT) Jimmy: Haters, on this sacred day Jimmy: #savage Janis: Glad to keep her in #content Janis: who's the real ⭐ baby Jimmy: 🤩 Jimmy: Better than 💝 chocs Janis: the calories! 😱 Jimmy: who needs food when you can exist on ☕ and even hotter goss 💋 Janis: diet of champions that 🙄 Janis: mia be bullshitting them that she doesn't run on sheer cuntiness Jimmy: Mia? A bullshitter? 😲 Jimmy: Nope Janis: awks 😕 Janis: did you think you was forever? Jimmy: she was my fucking cinnamon apple Janis: 😂 Janis: at least i've got an excuse to fight her again Janis: try not to get in the way this time Jimmy: Will do Jimmy: 2nd rule of fight club, get out the way dickhead Janis: brad pitt in that film Janis: mwah 💋👌 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I got no retort because Helena, not the one like Janis: crazy bitch not your type, eh? Janis: think the masses would have to disagree 😏 Jimmy: Start a # or I'm not listening, sorry everyone Janis: he's a modern man Jimmy: 💪😎 Janis: wonder if anyone will get pregnant tonight Janis: wanna make a bet? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll put today's wage on it Jimmy: No tips Jimmy: Need them for our big 💕 plans Janis: alright, you're on Janis: here's hoping its only the tip for all the other lads like Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Walked into that one Janis: 💁 Janis: shame we're not a hardcore catholic school #upthebuttforjesus Jimmy: I'd have to pray meself if I'd made a bet under them conditions Janis: what can i say? just like me, showing faith in our peers Janis: ur so negative, babe Janis: like dem tests 🤞 Jimmy: don't need to be an optimist to wait for those positives Janis: we'll see Jimmy: what to I get when I win this one Jimmy: quite a streak now babe 😏 Janis: 😣 Janis: on the off chance you manage to scrape a win Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Escape route for longer than a night for starters Jimmy: Lovebirds doing my head in Jimmy: I'm thinking a weekend break that isn't #cursed like Janis: Always down for running Janis: up for it not being away from you this time 😉 Janis: bringing the kiddos or? Jimmy: Depends if they kick off Jimmy: Got time to work on bribes Jimmy: Dad's Valerie might wanna play happy families 😒 Janis: 😬 Janis: that'll be fun Janis: can't have you dealing with that Janis: at least their tales of woe whilst you were gone will be packed with that #scandal and #drama Jimmy: might be easier to take 'em amount of SOS's we'd get Jimmy: Cass blowing up both our phones before we're out the door Jimmy: fuck knows Janis: Eithers cool Janis: just leave the hardcore whips n chains at home like Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Alright done Jimmy: If we stick 'em on their own does that make us the mccanns Janis: not if we don't drug 'em Janis: stick to sweets and other such bribes and we'll be alright Jimmy: Gonna be enough of a plan getting there without adding a murder cover up Janis: honestly Janis: not on the agenda Janis: not a nice pretty white doctor like, never getting away with it Jimmy: not the 💕 american films'd have you believe either I reckon Jimmy: Surrounded by a cloud of smoke already cheers don't need a hail of bullets Janis: yeah if #blacklivesmatter taught us anything Janis: not the ideal way to spend a weekend Janis: also, still creasing at her name Janis: such middle aged hot piece of ass vibes Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: definitely can't promise you any of that Jimmy: but if you win, I'll 🚭 and hopefully run like less of a middle aged dickhead with a dad bod Jimmy: less of an evidence trail an' all Jimmy: win win Janis: whoa, that's awful big talk from the resident chimney Janis: you are sure you're gonna win 😉 Janis: but i accept the full Ts and Cs Janis: you should train with me Janis: not just an excuse to 👀 the dad bod Jimmy: Deal done then Jimmy: Trying to see me in my short shorts Jimmy: You'll have to catch me first like Janis: wouldn't even be fair to make it a competition like Jimmy: If you're too shit scared, mate Janis: just curious why you wanna lose so bad Janis: thinking you might love what punishment i have in mind? Jimmy: Wondering what it feels like 'cause it never happens Jimmy: You seem to be about it with all your repeats Janis: I'm going to enjoy making you suffer Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Gonna start a club with Mr Lucas? Janis: any time i get to spend with him like Janis: not like I wanna think up new cruel and unusual ways to get you but Janis: needs must Jimmy: 💕 cute Jimmy: I'd tell him to get his 🎻 out but we know what those hands are busy doing Janis: eurgh 😂 too far Janis: my 'rents reckon he's an actual predator, like, there are stories Janis: do not wanna commit so hard to this bit that I become his next victim forreal Jimmy: Not gonna happen babe 💪😎🐶 Jimmy: Squad got you covered Janis: My heroes 😍 Jimmy: If Twix isn't up to it my bae'll come through Jimmy: Named for it literally Janis: Reckon that was the idea Janis: or they were being ironic with it Janis: #sojokes Jimmy: either way I'll knock him out before its a drama Jimmy: as long as you don't get in my way naturally Janis: don't worry, got the sense I was born with 😜 Janis: dickhead Jimmy: Lucky you were born with it Jimmy: Some of us have neither Janis: 🎻 Janis: so what part of pretty woman you looking to recreate this time Janis: what's your artistic vision? 😏 Jimmy: I haven't seen it Jimmy: Bound to be an aesthetic montage though, isn't there? Janis: don't let my sister hear you Janis: roped into GIRLS NIGHT! before you know it Jimmy: Get the popcorn in Gracie, mine's salted Jimmy: Shout you a diet something if you keep the noise down, hun Janis: #romanticvdaynightplans Janis: i get why she got confused, you have #boundaryissues mate 😂 Jimmy: Living up to that dating a twin stereotype Jimmy: The people in my comment section DEMAND it, alright? Jimmy: #gottagiveemwhattheywant Janis: Nah, bitch, you can only play that if we're identical Janis: its not like whoops thought it was u Janis: on ANY level 😤 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Oh shit the boss is the embodiment of that emoji Jimmy: Yours not mine Jimmy: Gonna have to get a room Jimmy: Ban him, that's not how I'm earning employee of the month perks, sorry lad Janis: Convenient 😒 Janis: lemme catch u in her inbox boi 🥊 Janis: jk, get to work slacker, catch you in a mo Jimmy: 🐊 Jimmy: In a bit 💕 Janis: 🖤

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foxhenki-blog · 6 years

Text

Kill Your Altars

FRONT MATTER

This week’s post finds us at the border of a vast pre-historical ghost forest, wondering where our baby brother had just disappeared to during our innocent game of peek-a-boo. It has been a tough week, personally, of battling directly with the demiurge’s Orwellian education agents on behalf of my daughter and finding sanctuary in the wizard’s gaze of Rudolf Steiner and the embrace of one of his schools. Essentially, my darling little one has gone full blown Altered Carbon Envoy terror-activist against her public 4K institutional education and I am scrambling to get her enrolled at Hogwort’s, midstream. There have been some honest thoughts about how my own personal magical Renaissance might have been seeded by a future self / retroactive sigil so that I would be in a place where I would easily and intuitively choose this path for my baby girl. Three years ago, I was fairly adamant about her suffering the purgatory of American public education like I did, some archonic nonsense about building character, etc. I am a fundamentally and fairly radically different person today thanks to the decades long prodding of my BFF Ghostly Harmless and the new community that engendered around the Rune Soup Premium Membership.

Work has been difficult, but in a really intensely good way. I have been casting wealth and productivity sigils, charging them with any intense emotions I am subject to, and believe that they are starting to click into place. It is hard to quantify them, to ‘measure their ROI’ blah blah blah, because I cast them specifically into a space of fairly massive timedepth. Without boring you, dear reader (I’ve always wanted to say that, ‘dear reader’) with the minutia of my corporate facade, suffice to say that I have had the confidence to ask for meetings with key members of leadership and have placed myself in a position that could prove crucial to their continued success using skills (like data visualization and semantic analysis) that I love to employ. Three years ago, I was not a person that would have done that. Two years ago, hell, a year ago, I was ready to self-sabotage and move on to something that would have likely proven much worse, fulfilling my life long pattern. In the words of Grant Morrison, sigils work, they work, just fucking do it.

Back to our forest, I’ve begun to read in earnest the Hypnerotomachia de Polifili. I had to buy a second ‘readers’ copy from Thames and Hudson as the only edition I had was the gigantic hardcover fine edition I bought back while studying artists’ books theory and practice in my education degree. I am glad that I went through last month’s exercise of close reading Lovecraft’s Dream-Quest of Unknown Hadath, first. There are so many edges that connect the nodes already in both stories that it has my mind going off in theoretical directions of Lovecraft’s grandfather, a bibliomaniac and Italophile, possibly owning a copy of the book in its original Italian and imparting its phantasmagorical content to Howard as a young boy. Another vector is the universality of journeying, of an actual collective dream land as is detailed in Unknown Kadath that humankind can access together along with their own personal dream land.

Let’s join Polifilo at the beginning of his journey, so that maybe you will see the similarities for yourself, perhaps you have been at the edge of this forest also:

“I had arrived at the vast Hercynian Forest, where there was nothing but the liars of dangerous beasts and caverns full of noxious creatures and fierce monsters. I was defenceless and terribly afraid of suddenly being mauled by a bristly and tusked boar, like Charidemus, or by a furious and hungry wild-ox, or by hissing serpents.”

There are already many instances of me having to stop reading and dive into some quick research surrounding the references made by the narrator. Here, Charidemus, caught my interest, a solider of some repute that was killed, from what I can tell, in a gladiator’s arena, by a bristling and tusked boar. We will return to this reference in the opening lines of the Hypnerotomachia, as I was led by providence in circles, lost in this tactless forest, much like our narrator:

“At last, in this rough and pathless wood I prayed to the blessed Ariadne of Crete, who had given the ingenious thread to deceiving Theseus, so that he could kill her monstrous brother and come forth from the tangled Labyrinth, that she might likewise deliver me from this dark forest.”

This phrase marks the beginning of the Hypnero’s tech share as I found that praying to Ariadne when lost is not an unknown practice among the neo-pagans. My overarching hypothesis for close reading the Hypnerotomachia is that I will find in its pages a type of encoded grimoire that was put to use or at the very least fueled the magical imagination of Renaissance Venice and beyond in the Venetian’s extended cultural sphere of influence. Thus far, I am finding more evidence that supports my theory than does not. For instance, still lost in the primeval forest that frustrated Ceasar and fascinated Aristotle, Polifilo has this to say:

“I prayed within myself: ‘O Jupiter greatest and best, omnipotent and succouring, if mankind can merit diving favor through sincere prayer and deserve a hearing even when suffering a slight trouble, I call on you, supreme Father and eternal ruler of the higher, middle and lower powers, that you may deign in your measureless divinity to save me from these mortal perils and present horrors, and grant another and a better end to my uncertain existence”

Tell me this work doesn’t have the qualities of a grimoire, the last two grimoires I read had prayers to Jupiter in them, indeed, had very definitive sections dedicated to Jupiter.

The novel as grimoire, or rather, in the case of this work, the proto-artists’ book as grimoire, has already had a profound effect on my as a reader. The juxtaposition of a detailed description of the scene, the prayer, and then, turning the page and seeing that scene spread out before me in a beautifully detailed woodcut now laden with all of the global correspondence made by the narrator, was a truly amazing textual experience. Just viewing the woodcut is not the same, the whole experience is the reading, the turning of the page, and then the viewing of the woodcut. These woodcuts and their placement in the text, or rather, in the sequence of action that a reader follows, were the reason the Hypnerotomachia is significant to artists’ books. I had read about it, looked at the woodcuts, studied them independent of the text, but can say now I didn’t understand their power until I immersed myself in the same experience a Renaissance reader would have when engaging with the original 1490 run of books from the Aldine Press. A glut of initially unprofitable books that nonetheless became one of the most widely read texts of the Renaissance after being distributed through a network of political and magico-philohophicially aligned allied in the wider Venetian network of influence.

This week has been a tough one and ultimately the first week of no overt magical practice of any kind in over a year, since I started Gnome School. The magic internalized even more than it had last week, had become ever more normative. One event in particular marked this transition. My daughter had a birthday and as these things go, a birthday party. She has a number of muggle friends so I busied myself with turning some of the more malefic titles in my first floor library to face the other way and actually deconstructed my living room altar. I have, in public and private, professed that keeping these items in full view of the muggle-sphere should be part of making magic a normative part of society but, well, I hadn’t figured in a five-year old’s birthday party when I was formulating those statements.

I fully expected to feel a great deal of guilt at the very least and full-on negative effects engendered from a miffed spirit population after taking the altar down, but that didn’t happen. Not only did it not happen, but, in doing so, a thought cascade was started that has led me to a place where not only is the altar not necessary but I’ve realized that if I am to align my practice with the 16th century Venetian magical, an altar just places me further from that goal. Take, for example, the beginning of Polifilo’s prayer above; ‘I prayed within myself…’ I suspect that the original Roman pagans did not do this, that they had temples and home altars and street altars where they openly prayed, but how was this practice renewed in a Inquisition happy Europe, even in magic friendly Venice? I think that phrase, ‘I prayed within myself…’, marks for us what was normative then. There were no altars, the magic was kept inside oneself. If it weren’t for me engaging in this act of killing my altar as to not make the Normals uncomfortable, I’m not sure I would have recognized the relative importance (or implications, rather) of this phrase.

IMBRICATIONS

So I can’t remember if this group is reviled among ‘real’ metalhead or if they are celebrated as the second coming. I think I remember hearing both about Killswitch Engage. Regardless, for our first imbrication, I offer their cover of the Dio song, Holy Diver, which will pair well to our meal of metaphor in this week’s Lovecraft tale, Dagon:

Dagon makes mention of a race of suboceanic aquatic men and gives a nod to the myth of Atlantis. I, personally, can’t think of Atlantis or mermen without thinking of my all-time favorite comic book character, Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner. I don’t what it is about dude, but he has always appealed to me. I offer below a horrendous eighties era cartoon featuring my Marvel favorite, Atlantis Under Attack:

And finally, in keeping with our webbed digit theme, let’s end on a high note with Govt. Mule covering Hendrix’s ‘A Merman I Should Turn to Be:

DREAMS WITHIN DREAMS

Dagon starts out with the now infamous nameless Lovecraftian narrator recounting how he had been captured as a WWI prisoner of war during a naval battle and his subsequent escape in a lifeboat, which results in being lost at sea. Our narrator professes that:

“I began to despair in my solitude upon the heaving vastness of unbroken blue…”

He very swiftly begins to die of thirst on top of that ocean and, dehydrated, passes out in the noon day heat beneath a cloudless sky, only to awaken in his boat which had found itself moored in mud on an island that had not been anywhere on the horizon prior to his fainting. Likewise, having somewhat of an idea of where he was in the ocean, the narrator states that the island was not charted and was a peculiar quality, covered as it was with endless mud and legions of dead fish. After some thought and investigation from his boat, the narrator surmises:

“a portion of the ocean floor must have been thrown to the surface, exposing regions which for innumerable millions of years had lain hidden under unfathomable watery depths.”

On the horizon of this dark Pacific fae island, the narrator sees a rise, a hill jutting out of the muck. Drawn to this feature, our narrator makes the trip from the safety of his boat across a plain of dried sea mud and dead fish, reaching the hill by the next nightfall:

“I slept in the shadow of the hill… I know not why my dreams were so wild that night; but ere the waning and fantastically gibbous moon had risen far above the eastern plain… in the glow of the moon… I now felt… able to perform the ascent… when I gained the summit of the mound and looked down the other side into an immeasurable pit… the moon had not yet soared high enough to illumine… All at once my attention was captured by a vast and singular object… an object that gleamed whitely… a gigantic piece of stone… a well-shaped monolith whose massive bulk had known the workmanship... and worship of living and thinking creatures… I could… trace inscriptions and crude sculptures. The writing was in a system of hieroglyphics… consisting… of conventionalised aquatic symbols such as fishes, eels, octopi, crustaceans, molluscs, whales, and the like… the pictorial carving [held] me spellbound… an array of bas-reliefs… that… were supposed to depict men… shewn disporting like fishes in the waters of some marine grotto… paying homage at some monolithic shrine… human in general outline despite webbed hands and feet… flabby lips, glassy, bulging eyes, and other features unpleasant to recall… I decided that they were merely the imaginary gods of some primitive fishing or seafaring tribe… whose last descendant had perished eras before the first ancestor of Piltdown or Neanderthal Man was born…”

The obelisk as an object of worship is important here, but the reason why won’t be fully revealed until we take a step back and revisit Donald Bureleson and his critical essays on Lovecraft in ‘Disturbing the Universe.’ According to Burleson, one particularly effective approach in the deconstruction of textual data is etymology, where:

“One traces words in the text back, often all the way to Indo-European roots, finding that roots and derivatives entangle themselves in patterns of mutual suggestion, bifurcating and dispersing in ways that produce deep internal differences where there appeared to be unity, or similarity where there appeared to be only difference.”

I’ve admitted my general ignorance of deconstruction as an analytic technique, but it turns out I’ve been applying a subset of the approach throughout the entire history of this blog, deconstructing the keywords left for us by Etteilla on his deck, quite often, ‘all the way to Indo-European roots.’ Burelson continues:

“Themes may function as points of departure… Likewise, symbolism in a literary text is problematic in a way, because… metaphor, metonymy, symbol, and allegory [are] everywhere… both themes and symbols may readily… posit binary oppositions… stories do not have boundaries or edges that separate them from each other or from other texts… they may even be spliced or woven together…”

And in that spirit, of stories having no borders to separate them from one another, let’s visit Polifilo in his dream world, having emerged from the wilderness to a area still vastly wild but graced with a river. Dying of thirst, Polifilo goes to drink, is distracted by some beautiful singing, and looks back to find the river gone. Here, as in Dagon, we have our narrator surrounded by the vastness of the natural world and unable to sustain even his basest bodily needs:

“As I lay there in... agony, my mind ran over the intricate weaving of infernal Fortune and the incantations of malefic Circe, in case she might have enchanted against me with her verses or used her magic square against me.”

There is more magical tech here, specifically the magic square of Circe, which might be of interest to readers. I find it significant that the working of a magic square is acknowledged as a malefic practice in the Hypnerotomachia. Every bit of pagan magic that is referenced in this work is another piece of the puzzle when rebuilding a Venetian magical system and getting into the heads of the Renaissance magician. Poliphili dies of thirst after exiting the tangled wood and in death enters another dream, dreams within dreams, and in this new death-dream:

“Lifting my eyes to the place where the wooded hills seemed to meet, I saw far off an incredibly tall structure in the form of a tower... a high watch-tower next to a great building... The more closely I approached it... the greater was my desire to admire it; for now it did not look like a [tower] but rather a tall obelisk resting on a vast mass of stone.”

The first architectural structure mentioned in the Hypnerotomachia, a work renowned for its deep and mysterious architectural objects, is a tower, but this tower is in fact an obelisk, like the one encountered by the narrator of Dagon. Regular readers will know that I have identified the tower as a liminal space, a window space like the crossroads, and one of the most used structures in Lovecraft’s tales. In reading this passage of the Hyper I realized that the tower and the obelisk are connected as a larger archetype, both imbued with power and animacy. Polifilo continues:

“This tall obelisk left me in no doubt that there was none other resembling or comparable to it, not even that of the Vatican, nor the Alexandrian, nor the Babylonian...”

calling out the Vatican, or Vatican City, Alexandria, and Babylon as definite places in the Venetian magical imagination.

Our tarot card for this week, the one that we are pairing with Lovecraft’s tale ‘Dagon,’ is the Ace of Cups. Dagon’s ‘hill,’ which is really a type of suboceanic crater risen to the surface, is described in such a way that it can be easily physically related to the interior of a cup, goblet, or cask.

The Etteilla keywords associated with this card are interesting, upright the card is associated with the word ‘table’, from the late 12th c., meaning a slab, and from the mid 15th c., the time period we are most interested in, table comes to mean the act of entering in a list or ledger. The reverse term is Changement, Change, again from the 12th c., means an exchange, recompense, exchange or reciprocation. The unusual (to English speakers) addition to the suffix -ment to the word creates a noun out of the verb, essentially a reification of the act of exchange, and embodiment, like a ledger. If we are to only rely on Etteilla for our interpretation we have a relevant one, mapping to the merchant-class driven society of Venice, the institution of credit and debt, which placed the modern world and all of its citizens (on both sides of the 99%) on the road we find ourselves on today.

Let us, however, repeat our experiments from the last few weeks, and pull the same card from the Sola-Busca deck and investigate its symbolism.

The first and most prominent feature of the Sola-Busca Ace of Cups is the text engraved across the goblet:

ATRAHOR FATIS

The first and most prominent feature of the Sola-Busca Ace of Cups is the text engraved across the goblet:

“[Trump] XIII (13) Catone could be a reference to Cato the Elder or his great grandson, Cato the Younger… The figure [in Trump 13] is holding a scroll which reads trahor fatis - ‘I am driven by fate.’ This motto also appears, together with a star shedding a… malign influence [similar to Trump 13] on the Ace of Discs. The motto appears alone on the Ace of Cups. It also appears in an abbreviated form on the shield of II Posthumio. The repetition of the phrase is clearly significant and we will need to return and account for it.”

Again, I have no Latin, but I have linguistics to spare, and also, well, eyes in my head. I don’t know why PMA ignores the preceding ‘A’ in each of the appearances of the phrase he mentions, perhaps out of a superior understanding of Latin or perhaps out of convenience. In my blissful ignorance I either read the phrase as Atrahor Fatis or deconstruct the phrase based on possibly arbitrary separation of word chunks.

Let’s press on. Atra- is Latin for the word black or blackened. Take for example, the word atrabilious:

“atrabilious (adj.): affected by melancholy," 1650s, from Latin atra bilis, translating Greek melankholia "black bile" (see melancholy; also compare bile). Atra is fem. of ater "black, dark, gloomy," and is perhaps "blackened by fire," from PIE root *ater- "fire." Related: Atrabiliousness.”

following this model, let’s look at the word chunk -hor and follow the example of the word abhor for its proper use in the polysynthetic term, atrahor:

“abhor (v.): rom Latin abhorrere "shrink back from, have an aversion for, shudder at," from ab "off, away from" (see ab-) + horrere "tremble at, shudder," literally "to bristle, be shaggy," from PIE *ghers- "start out, stand out, rise to a point, bristle" (see horror).

The notion is "shrink back" with horror or dread, hence "regard with repugnance, loathe." Formerly also "fill (someone) with horror or loathing" (16c.). In Latin it was less intense: "be remote from, vary from, differ from, be out of harmony with." Related: Abhorred; abhorring.”

So, in effect, atrahor literally means a blackening and a bristling.

Fatis, the last part of the phrase, is a variation of fatum, which means ‘an utterance, prophetic declaration, oracle, prediction.’

I promised we would loop back around to the very beginning of the post, so now, consider the opening of the Hypnerotomachia and the reference to Charidemus, the mercenary gored to death by a bristling black boar. While really this can only be chalked up to synchronicity, when shifting to an animist mindset from a materialist one, these syncs, these completely unintentional mappings between stories (remember stories have no borders) read independent of one another and yet deeply connected in some way, these syncs are only ignored at the magician’s peril.

The suit of cups, for me, represents in its entirety, alchemical processes. If we are to take our definition of the phrase emblazoned across our Sola-Busca version, and apply it to the first stage of Alchemical Transformation found in this document by one Nigel Hamilton, a UK based Sufi teacher and the author of ‘Awakening Through Dreams’, we find that Blackening to be described as such:

“In the first stage the fire is "slow and mild" as of the flesh or "embryo," gradually helping to bring about the first stage of the work, culminating in the earthly nigredo or "blackening." This stage involves a purification of the earthly nature in us.

The work begins with a seeking for the "Prima Materia," a condition the alchemists coined to represent that original, pure, uncorrupted state of the matter that is the basis of nature, i.e. out of the Prima Materia the elements emerged. They also recognised that all nature is renewed after dying away and that in order to grow, an organism must first die.”

In Polifilo’s first transition between dreams, he in fact dies of thirst in the forest prior to entering the new dream state in the hilled land of the giant obelisk.

Hamilton also states that:

“this "putrefaction" applies not only to the material but also to the spiritual world. Just as material death is necessary for the material rebirth of things, so spiritual death is necessary for the spiritual rebirth of man. Thus the much sought-after act of rebirth is always preceded by a return to the source of life - regeneration depends on a "reduction to the primal matter," and fire is a most important element needed to achieve this.”

Blackening is then the physical phenomenon of rot, or fermentation. When we apply ‘bristling’ to this my mind turns to the structures of so many molds associated with rotting fruit and other organic matter, which grow as so many black or white bristles on the organic substrate.

Fermentation also connects with one of the other prominent features of the Sola-Busca Ace of Cups, the three Putti crowning the goblet. These are clearly Putti and not, as I described in my investigation of the Four of Cups, Eros himself. According to Putti in Renaissance Art:

“Whether they are carved in wood, cast in bronze, sculpted from stone, or painted on canvas or plaster, putti are endearing symbols that suggest love and romance. But what exactly are putti? The word putti is used by art historians to describe the engaging and angelic creatures of which artists are so fond of including in their works. Putti (singular - putto) usually resemble adorable chubby children or babies, and they are often depicted with tiny wings that allude to their celestial origin.

In Italian Renaissance art, putti are famous for stealing adoring glances at the Virgin Mary in Raphael's Sistine Madonna. However, putti were also quite popular with artists during many other artistic periods. These childish cherubs frolic in the romantic Rococo paintings of François Boucher, for example, and additionally adorn a myriad of other magnificent pieces throughout the history of art.

Since these winged creatures are found in many works of art - both fine and decorative - they naturally acquired a mythology of sorts. For putti are used to allude to the presence of love, or even used to represent love itself. They are derived from artistic depictions of Eros (who was known to the Romans as Cupid), the Greek god of love and desire. Indeed, one famous representation of Eros is the Hellenistic work of sculpture known as the Sleeping Eros. So the next time you see an angelic little creature smiling from one of your favorite works of art, you can be sure that love is in the air.”

The Putti on the Ace of Cups are engaged in revelry, which, according to ‘The Putto - Angels in Art’ places them in the category of Bacchanalia Putti:

“Another popular application of the putto was in the bacchanal. In Donatello's Judith and Holofernes (left), putti cavort and act out the effects of inebriation - loss of judgment and narcotic sleep… Putti celebrating revelry in honor of Dionysus reinforced the dangers of such excesses. Larvate putti and satyrisci (small satyrs) were the spirit of wild abandon (orgy) and (larval) hallucinations. Bacchanal scenes celebrated fertility and abundance and hard working putti tended the vine representing the natural spiriti that give us sustenance. Today we still refer to alcohol as "spirits."

In Christian art the bacchanal had quite a different meaning. Wine became the symbol of God's blood and sacrifice. In a parable Christ said,"I am the Vine" and early church fathers referred to "the grape trampled for our salvation. The putto was the natural spirit (pneuma) animating from the vine as a nourishing substance. Putti tending the vine were nurturing our faith. Sometimes bacchanals depicted infant putti attacking or riding a goat. This theme came from Virgil's reference to new shoots and leaves as "the tender child" who must be protected from the sharp-toothed goat.

The Bacchanal painting by Luca Giordano in Gallery 8 is a wonderful example of Bacchanal putti. Visitors often misinterpret the wine for blood in this orgy. This is certainly not a representation of Christ's blood.“

The phrase Atrahor Fatis, or as I interpret it, a prophecy of alchemical fermentation, maps well to our prior explanation of the Four of Cups and its connection to the Vinalia Urbana festival. Bacchanalia Putti representing the Blood of Christ changes our goblet into none other than the Holy Grail.

The crater in Dagon, that houses the secret obelisk, represents worship, prayer, and magic in the natural world, and not in an enclosed space, a tiny altar littered with candles and incense in a private office hidden from our muggle friends. Dagon, the fish god, rises quickly from the depth of our fermentation chamber and kills his own altar, dragging it down to unknown depths, setting the narrator of the tale free to wander the world in madness, which is often how the Normals view an over magical worldview. The Ace of Cups is an alchemical cauldron where the first stage of transformation, the blackening, begins the process of purifying the soul. Dagon and the Ace of Cups are metaphors for decoupling from the artifice of magic, internalizing the ritual, and becoming a part of the animist universe.

#mermen #atlantis #fish cult

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specialagentfluffstein · 7 years

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good morning cute and sort of mysterious lady. ALL THE QUESTIONS PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

Good afternoon enthused and sort of mysterious new friend! Here all the questions.

1. Do youbite or lick ice cream? Neither. I use a spoon because ice cream is so damn messy.

2. What ishome to you? Wherever my record player is.

3. What wasthe last lie you told? That I definitely had a great time at someone’s birthday party.

4. Doeseveryone deserve the truth? In the end, yes.

5. What isthe creepiest toy ever made? Kewpie dolls.

6. Describea moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Encouraged an officer to let me stay late and help with a holdover shift, even though explorers are supposed to get dumped off after twelve hours.

7. List twothings that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn’t mix them up.) Opening the door to the backlot outbuilding garage and unlocking the Bearcat G3; Running an ID card over tac two on a felony stop with multiple subjects.

8. When wasthe last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Getting to the place where I could graduate a semester early.

9. How manyall nighters have you pulled? I’ve seen my share of Graves.

10. Ifhumans didn’t evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happinessinstead? Probably through other verbal indications and physical expressions.

11. How manyromantic “things” or “flings” have you had? Enough to know what I’m not looking for.

12. What isyour paradise? unlimited access to media - e.g. music, movies, tv, books, etc. and a comfy place to listen/watch/read

13. What isyour favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Fancy restaurants or reruns of television shows.

14. How manyhearts do you think you have broken? Probably quite a few. At least four in the past two years.

15. What isthe most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? That they can handle multiple things at once. It says that I am a multitasker.

16. Why dopeople care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because sometimes it’s nice to escape to a world where the only real problems are botched nose jobs and whether or not someone should have worn something. I care in that I’ve got my favorite celeb crushes (Hi, Alexander Skarsgard!)

17. What isthe most annoying thing someone can do to you? Act like they know what they’re doing when they obviously don’t. Also act like I can’t do something because I’m a girl.

18. Do youoverexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? not really. I tend to encounter so much weirdness that I don’t have to. Pros: I’m a good story teller. Cons: people sometimes think I am exaggerating.

19. Have youplayed any instruments before? Which instruments? I can play three elvis songs on the piano.

20. Do youlike taking selfies? Why or why not? Yup! Because I’m self centered as hell.

21. List 3things you like about yourself? 1. Great hair; 2. Smart; 3. Loud.

22. What isthe best advice someone has ever given you? “If the worst thing that happens today is that you mess up on the radio, it’s been a good day.”

23. Do youhave what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? Yeah not a big fan of small children.

24. How doyou cheer yourself up after a bad day? Television.

25. When wasthe last time you felt awkward? Truly awkward? I somehow ended up sitting in on a male officers yearly physical exam results last year, because no one thought to leave the female explorer in the waiting room or make her wait in the hall. Homeboy was in prime health though.

26. Are youintroverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? definitely an extrovert.

27. Whatconstitutes a good friend? Being invested, but not clingy.

28. Wouldyou rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? Depends. I have a super ultra best friend, but I also will talk to anything that moves, so I generally need to be around people.

29. In aregular day, what do you not want to hear? “How will the detectives/officers/males in general be able to get any work done with you looking so cute?”

30. What isyour dream job? FBI SWAT Medic or Television critic

31. Is itbetter to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? The former.

32. What isa truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? I graduated high school at sixteen and I’ll have my bachelor’s at twenty.

33. Whathave you always wondered about the other gender? Does the penis bounce around when you run/go up stairs/move in general like breasts do?

34. Whichfantasy world would you like to visit the most? Does Bludhaven count? Because I’m totally down to be a cop with Dick Grayson.

35. Describethe worst friend you have ever befriended. I tend to inadvertently pick up cling-ons, so I spend a lot of time trying to look like I really have to be somewhere on campus whenever I see someone who thinks we’re besties.

36. Imaginethat you have switched bodies with someone you don’t know. You can’t switchback. What do you do? Are you sure I can’t switch back? Because I think I might be hunting down shadowman and making him change me back.

37. If youfound the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Is keep it for my own personal gain an option? Can I develop it into a serum of sorts to deal with life-threatening illnesses and injuries?

38. What isthe most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Statistics in high school and First Responder. I am so good at calling 911.

39. Name thelast book you read. One Bullet Away by Nathaniel Fick.

40. Imaginethat you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? Ha! Jokes on you I’m already an ice queen with no feelings!

41. When wasthe last time you made the first move? Last spring, on the hot Marine in my advanced nonfiction class. Got his number and everything.

42. What isyour opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? I like Deee-Lite, does that count?

43. What wasthe last movie you watched? Blue Ridge Fall. Chris Isaak is great.

44. Do youlike and appreciate your life? I do.

45. Do youlike and appreciate yourself? I do.

46. When wasthe last time you cried? ???? Good question.

47. What areyou scared of? Not a huge fan of fire.

48. What isthe most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? same story as last time.

49. What aresome of your hobbies? I knit! I’m working on a shawl right now.

50. What isa superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? Confusing the boxes on J4 (paperwork) because I’m not paying attention.

51. Are youa good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a badfriend? I think I’m a good friend. I’m pretty loyal once I think you’ve earned it.

52. Do youhonestly learn from your mistakes? Yes. At least I try.

53. Whathave you learned the hard way? The running boards/ any protruding edge on SWAT trucks are not fun to collide with.

54. What isthe most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? A Happy outlook.

55. Whichmedium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing,etc.) I write, and I like to sing in my car, and I knit.

56. Are youa creative or a logical thinker? I’m logically creative.

57. What isthe smartest thing you have ever done? Bought a unique antenna ball. I always know which white four door sedan is mine.

58. What isyour ideal meal? Sushi. or any meal shared with people who make me laugh.

59. What isthe worst thing someone could do on a date? Say “I hate cops” and/or hold me vaguely hostage for ten hours.

60. Do youlike animals? Which kind is your favorite? Can I say Porgs? Does that count? I also like doggos.

61. If youcould turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Riding your bike on the sidewalks around campus.

62. Do youhave any guilty pleasures? Bad television.

63. What isthe best thing that the internet has ever created? Dog videos. And the ability to look things up in seconds.

64. Do youlike playing video games? Which video games? Uhhhh I still play the nintendo ds lego games. I like the batman one.

65. What isyour opinion on beauty in today’s society? It’s so unique! Like there are so many ways to be beautiful even on just a superficial level.

66. Are youa morning person? When do you usually wake up? Yes! I try to be up and moving by 8am.

67. Do youhave a favorite Disney movie? Character? either Sleeping Beauty or The Princess and the Frog. I love love love Judy Hopps from Zootopia and I’m quite partial to Prince Phillip.

68. Wouldyou rather live in the city or in the countryside? 110% City Girl.

69. Wouldyou rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Ocean.

70. What arethe best things about winter? Sweaters and cocoa and fluffy things.

71. Whatscares you most about the future? That I don’t know who will be there with me.

72. Whatmakes you feel old? Being around fourteen-year-old explorers.

73. How manyhours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? five? more if I have a lot of homework?

74. What aresome of your New Year’s resolutions? I don’t resolutions so much as goals. I’ve met most of them.

75. What isyour life story in 6 words? Why is this happening to me?

76. Describeyourself in one word. Loud

77. What badhabits do you do? Obsessive gum chewer.

78. Whatgenre of music do you listen to? A wide range of stuff. I’m really into Opera and Choral right now, but I’ve also listened to “Southern Nights” and “American Girl” on repeat today.

79. Mostprominent childhood memory? Sunday Dinners with my family.

80. Imagineif you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If youdon’t, how would this change your life? I wouldn’t be the oldest, which means I couldn’t pull the oldest child card.

81. Spiritanimal? Grizzly Bear

82. Do youbelieve in horoscopes? Sometimes.

83. What isthe worst advice you’ve ever been given? any variation on “let things come to you”

84. List the3 most important people in your life right now. Sister, Mom, BFFL.

85. Favoritememory of your family. The last time my uncle came and visited.

86. What doyou look for in a relationship? Being treated with respect. Also a uniform (especially a USMC one) doesn’t hurt, but it’s not a deal breaker.

87. Do youhave a role model? Why or why not? Yeah! But it’s more like I like the way people act or do things and I adopt those traits and things.

88. What isyour opinion on social media? A good way to fuel the mild narcissism I try to keep quiet. Also good for amateur detective work.

89. Are youa pessimist or an optimist? Aggressively optimistic.

90. Listsome things that you think are overpriced? FEMALE TACTICAL ANYTHING.

91. What isyour worst memory or creepiest experience? Sixteenth Birthday.

92. Whatsuperpower would ruin the world? Invisibility.

93. What issomething you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Go to college in my hometown.

94. Whatlessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? You can be both a princess and a total badass (Star Wars); It doesn’t matter where you came from, you can be a hero/achieve your dreams/make things better (Pretty much all of the Disney movies). Ohana isn’t necessarily the people you’re related to (Lilo and Stitch).

95. If youcould travel anywhere, where would you go? Right now? Disneyland Paris.

96. How doyou approach people? Confidently.

97. What isyour opinion on first impressions? Usually pretty accurate, barring some wild exigent circumstances.

98. What aresome things you did as a child that you no longer do? Wear frosted lip gloss.

99. Whatlanguages can you speak? English, Spanish, Regional Law Enforcement, and I’ve got a basic understanding of Old English.

100. What doyou think society will be like in 30 years? Better.

101. What doyou do on your lazy days? Watch TV.

102. Whatended your last relationship? A move to Colorado.

103.Favorite food? Sushi. and Pizza.

104. What isthe most terrifying dream you’ve ever had? I dreamed I was living on a house boat and I was pregnant. I woke up terrified and thinking ‘How am I going to be a cop if I’m pregnant?!’

105. Whenwas the last time you got seriously angry? Anytime my co-lieutenant does anything.

106. Whatwas the last friendship you broke? I’m not really sure. I try not to burn bridges.

107. Do youhave any pet peeves? Wrinkled clothes and mismatched socks.

108. Who wasthe last person you gave a hug to? My sister?

109. Whenwas the last time you got seriously stressed? Trying to finish a profile for my nonfiction class last month.

110. Whatpart of your personality do you want to change? I can be a little cold.

111. Who isthe most positively influential person in your life right now? One of the detectives I work with.

112. What isyour biggest motivation? Fear of failure.

113. Whatdid you want to be when you were little? A Triple Threat.

114. Whatare some things that you are good at? Knitting, being the cutest explorer, making breakfast foods, basic makeup.

115. What isone thing you want to be good at? winged eyeliner.

116. Whatdistracts you the most, especially when you’re trying to work? My sister. In the best way, though, She’s always sending me silly memes or dog pics.

117. Howimportant is privacy to you? Really important.

118. If youcould create one social norm, what would it be? Disney music being acceptable on the radio.

119. What’sthe craziest lie you’ve ever told? I once convinced a boy scout troop that I was British.

120. Whatstory do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I like telling the story about the time a guy shoved meth up his butt in the back of the squad car I was riding in on a ride along. It’s a crowd pleaser for sure.

121. What isthe lamest thing that you have seen someone do? Tell a class that he enjoyed going to the gym as his icebreaker fun fact.

122. What isthe stupidest thing you’ve done to impress someone? Gave him a bunch of Junior Officer stickers. (it worked, though)

123. What isyour morning routine? Tumble out of bed, stumble to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition.

124. What’sthe last thing you did that is worth remembering? I bought some professional clothes beyond just a white button up and black pencil skirt.

125. Ifkarma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? I think it would help.

126. What isyour opinion on playing “hard to get?” You should probably just be straight with people.

127. Whatare the pros and cons of straightforward? Pros: no bullshit! Cons: People think you are “scary” or “brash.”

128. What doyou consider “leading” someone on? Lying about your intentions.

129. Are youthe friendzoner or the friendzoned? I’ve been both.

130. What doyou admire most about your friends? They are so kind.

131. What doyou admire most about your family? We are a resourceful and resilient bunch.

132. What isyour opinion on “going with the flow?” Something I have to work on.

133. Do youenjoy talking or listening? Both.

134. When isit time to end a friendship? When it’s unhealthy for either party.

135. What isthe worst excuse you’ve ever come up with? “My mom won’t let me give my phone number out” I was fifteen.

136. If GPAdidn’t matter, what courses would you have taken? More science and physics classes. And theatre. And art. And writing classes.

137. Whatare your favorite baby names? my current favorite baby is named Finley…

138. Whenwas the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? I talked with a detective about some of my ambitions.

139. Whatinstantly ruins a conversation? Felony Tones (ha) and ignorance.

140. Biggestturn ons and turn on offs. On - Nice smiles; Off - “You’re too pretty to be a cop”

141. Biggestdisappointment - Not making Captain.

142. Do youhave any self-restraint? Yes, unless it is with puppies and then no.

143. Whendid you last do something outside of your comfort zone? I did something with the permission of one advisor and his supervisor that was in direct opposition to what my main advisor wanted. It worked out in my favor though.

144. Prizedpossession(s)? Four gold medals from competing in SkillsUSA in high school, some photo boxes, my record collection, my playing card collection.

145. What isyour opinion on second chances? Okay when they are truly deserved.

146. Text orcall? Text. Or call. Whatever. I’ll likely ignore you either way.

147. What doyou like about the 21st century? I am not socially obligated to wear a skirt if I don’t want to.

148. Whatadvice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? It’s okay to change your mind. Do what’s going to make you happy. Kiss that boy.

149. Howorganized are you? Pretty organized, when I have time to sit and organize.

150.Favorite mode of transportation. Bearcat G3.

Thanks for being nosy!

#fluffy answers

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