#like try and tell me that wouldnt be freaking GOLD

[bellewintersroe]

I finally found the right thing to click! Give me a gold star. Here's the info for a 'ship' with an Easy Company guy:

I'm 5'4", curly brown hair, green eyes, 36C. Sarcasm is my second language. I play the piano and sing. My background is in journalism. I can be hot headed. When I'm irate, I swear like a sailor.

Cooking is something I enjoy, especially Italian food. I'm a typical passionate Scorpio. My sense of humor ranges from goofy to acerbic. Family is very important to me. I'm an only child who wanted brothers and sisters.

I just ventured into writing fiction and largely based my OC on myself. A journalism prof said, "Write about what you know." I know myself, and my OC was created.

Kind of a lightweight with alcohol. Bailey's Irish Cream is my favorite alcoholic beverage. Unlike my OC, I'm extremely nearsighted and wear contact lenses. Everything is a blur without my lenses. I once thought I was attempting to pat my cat after I took my lenses out. When my hand touched the leather of my black purse that was on the floor, I realized my mistake.

I'm also feisty and sometimes stubborn.

ahhh sorry this took so long, this has been in my drafts forever !!

But thank you for your request (I also saw your other message about the platonic ship, dw I wouldnt ship you with you know who hehehe) and I was gonna ship you Joe Liebgott but I found somebody more fitting- feel free to request for a specific guy at any time though! <3

I ship you with… Bill Guarnere!

There’s so many similarities between the two of you that I couldn’t deny. First we can start with the fact you’re so feisty.

bill needs a hot headed girl, he finds your attitude so, so sexy, there’s a real sexual tension between the two of you from the minute you first meet. He likes the fact you swear so much- would probs encourage you to use it in the bedroom.

but no seriously, you two would hit it off straight away, Bill is confident and very self aware, he knows he gotta swipe you up before Liebgott or Tab - or any of those other rats in his mind interfere.

I think even if the two of you had been sleeping together a couple of times- he would still have the respect to just limit his loyalties to you and only you. Finds it silly when other girls try to hit on him- and this is when he starts to piece together his feelings.

kinda panics and won’t admit that he’s falling for you lmao; has some kind of weird raven Simone dream and freaks tf out.

unlike him, you do get drunk, he handles his drinks a little better so surprisingly can he the responsible one when you want to let loose.

somebody tries to mess with you whilst you’re blindly drunk, he doesn’t tolerate it, nooooo way.

he’s walking you home, tucking you into bed and I feel like you’re the one to admit your feelings first.

he has to go back to his own bed, questioning himself if it was real or not?! The next day he’d deffo come up to you and spill out all these feelings and oh my god you’re so shocked and happy- but also so hungover pls keep a bucket on hand.

You threw up cos you’re so hungover and Bill thinks it’s because of him????

the more the war goes on and the more serious it gets I feel like Bill would start to open up about his family, as do you. He really respects the fact you talk of your family so highly.

tells you not to worry about having no siblings as he’s got a whole bunch of them to share with you.

Accidentally admits things by slipping it into conversation, like ‘oh white is such your colour, ur gonna look so sexy in a wedding dress’. Or ‘don’t worry our kid ain’t never gonna be without siblings cos we’re at it that much’.

laughs around you, feels like he can be super genuine- sometimes if you’re busy working he can kinda follow you around like a lost puppy.

laughs at you for being so nearsighted. If you didn’t have your contact lenses he’d be on the floor laughing before he could help you with anything.

Directing jokes at each other but nothing too mean.

deffo more of a serious lover, especially in bed, so if you’re feeling goofy is balanced hun out perfectly. You can make him crack up so easily depending on what mood you’re in.

your love would be so intense, you’d laugh so much, but I feel like you’d definitely butt heads. The arguments could last quite a while and get heated, but he’d deffo get turned on by the fact you’re angry and then get annoyed at himself for getting distracted in an argument Lmao.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I ship you platonically with… Skip and Muck!

As soon as you said you wanted brothers and sisters growing up I immediately thought of how lovable these two would be as your best friends.

Your dynamic definitely would be close to siblings, especially cos you spend so much time around you.

they’d try to wind you up to make you swear just so they could laugh lmao immature.

but they’d truly be impressed with your sarcasm and sense of humour, they find you hilarious and you’d be like an iconic trio.

I don’t know when the friendship would become more of a gradual thing, it would develop throughout the war, maybe around D-day plus 7 when the war is becoming more frightening and the adrenaline from fighting and dropping into Europe fades.

the seriousness would sneak into the conversations, they’d ask you if you were ok, silently checking up on you by looking for where you were, and put you off going into dangerous situations.

Would try to ask you what Bill is like in bed and how big his pee pee is.

you don’t crack.

You all annoy bill, probably try to play pranks on him and you all think it’s the funniest thing in the world.

bill doesn’t agree.

Maybe you three would take things too far sometimes because you’re so good at having fun and distracting each other from the realities of war? In the end you’re all harmless and your friendship really is based around the most positive vibes.

[shanitani]

WHAT TYPE OF JEWLERY THE BAKUSQUADE WOULD BUY YOU

👩🏽‍💻: I hyperfixate off of chains . as always, black reader!

BAKUGOU

NECKLACE WITH HIS NAME ON IT

first off all, oh my god what I’d do to have a chain with his name (but y’all already know that..)

he’d probably buy it out of the blue , random Tuesday.

but would spend a week in advance wondering how to give it to you without sounding too in love with yo ass

sero had to help him out, and denki but we all know denki ass AINT no help.

You were coming back from training with Mina and Jirou and then Bakugou came stuttering in, you went to kiss his cheek as usual when he finally told you about the jewlery

“hey y/n, look I gotchu this chain aight? yo ass better wear it too this wasn’t cheap. and you already know it’s real.”

Then he kissed your cheek and left you flustered in the commons room with your friends squealing at the name “katsukis”

you were def in love with him after that - made sure to buy him all the video games he’d ever dream of and make him mad spicy food.

bonus: denki would always ask bakugou how you always stick with his ass and then bakugou would respond with “if you can’t get your girl a chain and you’re jealous jus say dat.”

chain -> gold , name -> has diamonds inside , his pockets -> dented like a mf.

SERO

PROMISE RING

you cant tell me his lil romantic ass wouldnt. Try and tell me.

would buy you it near your anniversary

his ass would be grinning so hard because he just KNOWS that he stepped with this gift

but was super nervous that you wouldn’t accept or you’d be too anxious and think it’s too soon even tho you’ve been together for a year

he truly loves you and wants to show you that , so he bought you a ring cuz why not.

Would text you to come to his dorm, which wasn’t out of the ordinary since you guys always chill at each other dorms.

“Hey babe what’s up” that was met with a kiss on his cheek and laying on his lap looking at your phone while you both caught up on small things, then he finally brung out the piece of jewlery

“Okay, please don’t freak out but I really really love you and to show that I bought you a promise ring. To promise you that I’ll always be there for you no matter what mi amor. You don’t have to accept since I know this is a lot but-“

Yeah you shut him up with a kiss to his lips and running your hands through his hair just how he likes - it calmed both you and him down

You gracefully accepted the ring and from there it was like you just fell head over heels for his ass, sero feels like the superior boyfriend

bonus: sero and Kirishima totally did not make a bet who could get their girlfriends the best gift…

Ring -> diamonds , pockets -> most DEF dented

KIRISHIMA

DIAMOND HOOPS

When you first started putting your hair in puffs is when he admired your hoops

Like damn ain’t nobody tell you to look dat good.

he mentally reminded himself to buy you some one day

would buy it when he saves enough for it

When he buys them he’s going straight to your dorm to give you them so he can see you wear them the next day

Walking around the dorms with heart eyes and shit little mf simp

“Kiri damn I’m coming” you laughed lightheartedly coming toward the door as he shoved the box in your hands looking at you with sparkly eyes

“I love you baby, I hope you love these earrings.”

now he making you cry, damn kiri.

you hugged him tightly and thanked him over a million times. Now he feels the most manly he’s ever been and now you’re planning your wedding venue.

you wear the hoops the next day with a pretty summer dress and sandals, he can’t stop staring at you.

hoops -> silver , pockets -> dented

DENKI

MATCHING CHARM BRACELETS

I just feel like he would love to have matching shit with you

he saving his money the day he saw a couple with matching bracelets and now he wanted them

so that means… no buying video games and shit .

Once he did but it he made SURE to make an announcement abt it to everyone in the commons room. I mean like he texted everyone “come to commons room ASAP”

“Is everybody here? Good. Y/N my BEAUTIFUL WIFE i think you’d love to know I bought us matching charm bracelets. Who you know out here that got matching bracelets? Nobody, das right😌”

The girls are squealing for you, the boys(especially bakugou) are groaning and going back to their room bc they fr thought it was important, and you’re gushing:)

“Aw thank you my love!!” You kiss him on the cheek and he shorts circuits a little bit but it was completely worth it.

In private he’ll tell you why he picked the charms he did and why they’re re significant in your relationship

He now always creeps up behind you and pull up your sleeve to see if you’re wearing the bracelet, you always are. Now it’s both a mutual game to try and catch the other slippin.

Bonus: his ass would come to you and be like “4 liferrrrsssssss😜”

bracelet -> yours is rose gold and his is gold! , pockets -> dented as hell .

[brelione]

Kind Of A Cinderella Story (Sarah Cameron X Reader)

 Request:37 from prompt list 2 with Sarah?+More Sara Cameron dating a Gardener pls

Warnings:This is trash and for some reason took me like three hours to write.Isnt proof read,implications of smut kind of.

Sarah was sick of her life.It was the same thing over and over again.She had to pretend to be this elegant,proper girl when all she wanted ot do was have fun.She felt like a puppet,being told what to wear and who to hang out with.She ahd been set up with countless kook boys that wanted nothing other than a girl to use as a sex object.She hated it.

Everyone thought that she was some perfect kook queen with no problems in her life but they couldnt be more wrong.People called her a whore for cheating on her boyfriends but all she wanted was to be loved.Like,genuinely loved for something other than her appearance.It was a process of trial and error.Ward would introduce her to one preppy kook boy with gelled back hair and toxic masculinity in a never ending cycle,hoping ot find the perfect fit.

Little did he know that she didnt want any kooks there was.She didnt even want any boys,no matter eif they were a pogue or a kook.Her heart was set on one pogue girl that didnt know how to match her pants to her shirt and had pierced her nose with a paperclip.She found her heart speeding up,trying not to smile or let out a nervous laugh whenever she saw said pogue even walk by.

You had always envied the kooks.While you worked at a bakery for 16 hours three days a week,living from pay check to pay check they were living it up in their huge mansions and getting their nails done with diamonds and gold.

You didnt even have a refrigerator or a microwave,you just kept what needed to be cold in a cooler that you had found on the side of the road two years ago.The bakery could only pay you so much so you decided that you might need another job.

It was either that or start stealing things.You chose the first option,unfortunately.Upon hearing that Ward Cameron was looking for someone to plant flowers and cut weeds in his garden you had volunteered for it.That’s what got you to this point,mud on your cheekbones,little scratches on your palms as you secured another bundle of impatiens into the soil.

The grass was still damp from the early morning rain,you were obviously tired and planning on going back to bed once you got back home.That was when the kook princess,Sarah Cameron,came running out of her house with a butter knife in her hand,demanding to know who you were and what you were doing in her backyard.You wiped your slightly bloody hands on your jeans,grinning.

  “Im the gardener,Ward hired me last week.”You explained,smiling when a look of realisation came across the kook’s face,dropping the butter knife into the grass. “Oh-im so sorry!Im Sarah,they didnt tell me they hired you so I got scared.”She looked down at the butter knife,a blush coming across her cheeks.

After that first encounters she was desperate to speak to you again,having to wait a whole week until you came around to pull the weeds from the garden.She had considered stomping on the plants so you’d be forced to stay around longer but that would be pretty rude of her if she wanted to make a good impression.She had checked the weather,seeing that it was gonna be over 100 degrees.

That meant she had a perfect reason to speak to you without being strange.She’d come out after ten minutes of you being there and offer you a cold drink inside and when you were distracted with your drink she’d ask you questions about yourself and then boom.

You two would fall in love.It sounded like a great plan in her head.The night before the day you were due to come over she had set a blue gatorade in the fridge,preparing.But then she saw you out her window and became weak.Her legs were shaking as she took the gatorade out of the fridge,pacing around the kitchen with teh bottle in hand,taking in big breaths as she prepared herself. 

With one last,deep breath she opened the back slider door,putting a smile on her face as she walked up behind you as you put long weeds into a bucket,your sleeves rolled up and sweat on your face. “Weather kind of sucks today,figured you needed a drink.”She licked her lips,wanting to redo.That just didnt sound right at all.You looked up at her,squinting from the sun that shined around her almost like a halo.

 “Thanks,climate change is a real bitch.”You took the gatorade,opening it and taking a sip,some of the blue energy drink dripping down your chin. “Oh my god,I know.Don't even get me started on whats happening with the sharks in New England!The government is full of shit!”She exclaimed,not as nervous as she had been before.

You nodded in agreement. “Yeah,just like our oceans!In twenty years there will be more plastic than fish,I hate this world so much.”You sighed,sitting in the grass as you took another sip of the cold drink. “Do you want to come inside and talk about this?We’ll both get sunburned if we stay out here too long.”her hands went to her pockets,something that always happened when she was anxious.

You shrugged,standing up. “Yeah,ok.”You replied,following her.You were hesitant to actually step inside the house,figuring one of the tiles was probably worth your whole paycheck.You sat awkwardly at the counter,drinking the gatorade until there was barely anything left.

She grabbed you a water bottle and offered you a sandwhicih.You said yes of course,thanking her when a ham and cheese sandwich on a blue plate was placed in front of you. “You know what else I hate?”You asked,taking a small bite off the corner of the sandwich.She hummed,looking up. 

“How organizations protecting endangered species are being defunded by the government!It’s trash.”You sighed,becoming increasingly more angry.SHe nodded,agreeing. “Same with deforestation!If the government was taking away tv’s everyone would freak out but of course when they cut down our source of oxygen its fine!”She smacked her palms off the table.

 “I say we poison them all with wolfsbane and give Mother Nature her shit back.”You wiped some mustard from your cheek,making her grin.Once you finished the sandwich you insisted on getting back to work,groaning when the sun hit your skin again.She had sat by the pool,telling you that you could go for a swim when you finished working if you wanted to.

You tugged dandelions from the garden,it was your last task of the day which meant that you got it done as quick as possible,placing them into the bucket when you got a good idea.You took them back out,forming the weeds into a crown of yellow,grinning at your creation before presenting it to Sarah. “Figured the queen needed a crown.”Was al you said,placing it on her head before flashing a peace sign and beginning your walk home.

Sarah waited another seven days to see you.The sun didnt shine so bright,her hair felt lifeless and her smile just couldnt look right.She felt herself falling for you,not even bothering to fight off the feelings.Tuesday night,the night before you would be coming over she prepped herself.She made a ham and cheese sandwich with mustard and lettuce,wrapping it up and putting it in her fridge along with a blue gatorade.

She practiced how to do a cute bun that she had seen on her pinterest feed,picking out an outfit that would make her look nice without being too over the top.She ended up showering at two in the morning,making sure she would smell nice and her hair wouldnt be greasy.She woke up with drool tunning down her chin,her alarm loud.She groaned,wiping her face and checking the time.

She had a text from her dad to let her know that he and Rose had taken Wheezie to the beach and Rafe was off doing whatever it was that Rafe does.She sat in her living room,staring out the window as she waited for you to appear and walk around her house into the backyard.She grinned when she saw you,light overalls and a rainbow striped shirt,deep tan work boots and a tired look on your face as you opened the gate in the fence,walking around to the backyard.

She let out a soft sigh as she wiped her hands on her shirt,making sure there were no wrinkles as she grabbed the sandwich from the fridge,tucking it under her arm and holding the gatorade in her hand,opening the slider door with the other.She closed it,the hot humid air hitting her in a huge contrast from the cold air conditioned house.

 “Hey,Sar.”You grinned,noticing that there wasnt much work that need to be done today.She held out the wrapped up sandwich to you along with the drink,crossing her arms awkwardly. “Do you want to come inside?”She asked,peeling at her white nail polish.You licked your lips,standing up and brushing off your pants before picking up the gatorade and sandwich,sitting at the kitchen table and eating. “So like,can I ask you a question?”She asked,leaning her elbows on the table.

You raised an eyebrow at her,swallowing the sandwich that you had in your mouth with a swig of gatorade. “I hate when people ask that.Are you gonna ask if I murdered someone cause the answer is no.”You said quickly,trying not to let your brain run wild.

You hadnt done anything wrong.Maybe you fucked up the order fo the flowers? “Oh,oh cool.But um….Like,what would you do if I accidentally kissed you?”She asked,making your eyes widen.Her heart beat only got quicker as the monet of silence lasted longer,a tension growing between the two of you.

 “I dont know...thats never happened before.”You answered,avoiding her eyes.She blushed,leaning down quick and pecking your lips,pulling away just as quick. “Love that.”You answered,biting your lip lightly,trying not to laugh. 

“Love you.”She answered,her face beet red.You smiled,looking up at her. “Love you too.”You answered,hearing the door open a few seconds later,Wheezie walking in,her skin slightly more tanned than it had been when she left. “Uhh...hi?”She frowned,looking at you but deciding not to question it before going up the stairs and into her room.

Ward and Rose came in soon after her,the same look on their faces. “Arent you the gardener?”Rose asked,coming into the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of wine. “She’s done with her work for the day.”Sarah answered quickly,looking over to Ward.

He didnt say anything,feeling that there was something going on between the two of you but deciding to stay quiet.You and Sarah had been dating in somewhat secrecy for a month and you no longer came over on just Wednesday’s to pull weeds.You came over pretty much everyday,going swimming or going to the beach with your lovely girlfriend.

You laid on your stomach on her bed,head on one of her many pillows,the show Lucifer playing on her large tv. “We should do something.”She spoke confidently,a mischevious grin on her face.You sighed,sitting up. “Like what?”You asked,knowing that she would probably suggest something ridiculous.

She smirked,grabbing her purse. “We’re gonna go shopping.”It wasnt even a question,just a straight out statement.You shook your head,going back to laying down when she grabbed at your ankles,trying to drag you off the bed. “Please?”She pouted,trying to get you to crack.

You simply rolled your eyes,reminding her that you didnt have the money for that type of thing.She sighed,grabbing your hands and pulling you up but you refused to go down without a fight,purposely pushing her backwards by wrapping your arms around her like a toddler. 

“No.”You muttered,your nose in her blonde hair.You stared ahead of you,passing by trees and large houses,getting to the rich kook side of the island near the shopping boutiques and gold clubs. “I hate you.”You sighed as she pulled into a shop parking lot,a grin on her face. “I love you too.”She answered,opening the car door for you and making you get out. 

“What if I buy you icecream after?”She asked,trying to get you to be less miserable,succeeding when your face lit up. “Like the fancy kind in a dipped waffle cone with the sprinkles?”You asked,willing to try on clothes if it meant getting to the sweet cold treat.

She nodded,complying with your request,holding your hand and bringing you inside.It didnt feel right for you to be here,even the lights looked expensive.There werent even carts,fabric bags instead.Thats how you could tell just how expensive everything here would be.  “Sarah,this is ridiculous.”You mumbled as she dragged you over to some t shirts that had stripes but even they looked expensive,the material thick and durable between your fingers.

You gripped the price tag,eyes widening. “This shit is $130!”You exclaimed,letting go of it.She smiled,shaking her head. “Suck it up,buttercup.”Was all she had to say,finding your size and placing it into the fabric bag when a worker came up to the two of you. “Can I help you ladies?”He asked.You answered a wuick no but was overpowered by Sarah. “Yes,yes please.

Im thinking a whole new vibe for her,maybe like eighties meets surfing.”She tried to explain her ideas,somehow the sentence made sense in the man’s head as he guided the two of you through the store,showing you both sundresses,ripped jeans,pastel collared shirts,headbands and earrings.

He watched from a far as Sarah held up the clothing next to your body,holding others near your hair as she tried to decide on what she wanted you to try on.She decided a light yellow shirt,some light washed jeans,a pair of shorts that were dark blue with gold stars,a purple sweatshirt with the word ‘lovely’ on it,a set of cream colored underwear with a matching bra,a gold headband with flowers on it,a pair of boyfriend jeans,or as she called them,girlfriend jeans.

You didnt even give an opinion on any of the clothes she was putting into the bag,thinking about what kind of icecream you were going to get,snapping out of your thoughts when she told you to start trying things on.

She had requested that you took mirror pictures in everything you tried on and asked that you send them to her as she went to the jewelry counter,supposedly getting a spot on her gold necklace fixed.You took your time trying on clothes,trying not to become to insecure about it.

You took the photos quickly,plowing your way through the outfits,getting to the set of bra and panties.You slid on the underwear over the ones you were already wearing,seeing the sign on the dressing room wall that said not to try on undergarments on your bare body.You simply pulled on the bra over your breasts,not seeing a policy for that.

The fabric was soft and the bra held up your breasts perfectly,the cream colored lace straps tickling your skin.You snapped a few photos in the set,feeling a bit of heat rush to your face when the door opened,Sarah sticking her head in. “Are you checking yourself out?”She asked,a smirk on her face.You placed your hands over your face,laughing.

 “Shut up.”You answered,letting her see what you looked like in the set.She did indeed shut up,biting her lip as she looked you up and down. “Yeah,we’re buying that.”She nodded,asking to see the photos and closing the door behind her.You scrolled through the photos,her head on your shoulder and kissing it lightly as she looked at them,nodding.

 “Ooh that sweater is cute as hell.”She took the phone,zooming in. “So lets go look at some bathing suits and maybe get you some more bras...and then we can leave.”She grinned,gulping as she tried not to let her thoughts get the best of her.

You changed back into your normal paper thin striped shirt,shitty bra and overalls,putting the clothes back into the bag and walking back out,seeing her sitting in the chair with a grin on her face as if she knew something you didnt. “Look at how cute this bikini is!Your boobs would look good-we’re getting it.”She said quickly,putting a white one piece into the bag.

 “Sarah-this is gonna cost like,a million dollars.”You grumbled,not really approving what your girlfriend was doing.She rolled her eyes,not worrying about it as she grabbed an ash colored bralette and underwear set,finally done picking clothes for you,dragging you to the counter to pay.You werent paying attention to anything the cashier was saying,only watching the total go up until it hit the point of $830.

What the actual fuck?Sarah simply swiped her card,taking the white and gold paper bag with a grin,pulling you along as you tried to get over the fact that she had just payed so much so carelessly.You two ended up back in the car,the bag in the backseat as you were still struggling to wrap your head around it. 

“You okay?”She asked,noticing the look on your face. “You just spent an entire month of bills on clothes.”You whispered,making a smile come across her face. “That’s okay.”She answered,backing out of the parking lot and making her way to the icecream shop.

 “Do you want to go to the beach to eat our icecream or do you want to go back to the house and model for me?”She asked,hoping you’d pick the second option.You shrugged,not really caring as long as you got your icecream. “yeah,you’re modeling for me.”She decided for you,turning on the radio. “Yeah?”You asked.

She hummed in response.The drive was quiet,your chin on your palm,the cool air of the air conditioning on your skin and the hot of the sun on your arm. “I feel like Cinderella right now.”You admitted,making the blonde laugh. “What do you mean by that?”She asked,curious.

You shrugged,turning down the radio. “I mean,you’re my beautiful fairy goddess and you just bought me some kook clothes and i’m used to cooking for people and pulling weed from rich people’s gardens...its like im becoming one of you.”You mumbled,her hand squeezing your thigh. 

“You say it like we’re vampires, (Y/N).”She shook her head,pulling up to the icecream parlor,getting out of the car.You both walked up to the metal counter,looking at the menu.She got the same thing everytime.A  medium cotton candy scoop in a chocolate sprinkled cone with whipped cream.

It was colorful and over the top,just like her.You decided on a rainbow milkshake which was layers of cotton candy icecream,strawberry,black raspberry,orange creamsicle and lemon all in one cup topped with whipped cream.

After getting your icecream you two went right back to the car,Sarah playing Lucifer on her phone and placing it between the two of you as she struggled to eat her icrecream quick enough so it wouldnt fall off or melt.She rested her icecream cone in the cupholder,driving back to the house,running up to her room with you close behind her,the white and gold bag tucked under her arm.

She ate the cone,getting to the end of it when she asked you to try on the bathing suit.You rolled your eyes,stripping of your overalls and t shirt,earning a quiet whistle from her.You sent her a quick wink,pulling the bathing suit up your body,pushing your arms through,your cleavage showing. 

“Yeah,I was right.Your boobs look great.”She grinned,opening her drawers and picking out her pink bathing suit,changing into it right in front of you. “Lets go out to the pool.”She suggested,grabbing two towels from her drawer.The two of you sat in the cool water,the sun making it hard to look at. “I’ve got to get back to the house soon.”You mumbled,floating on your back.

She frowned,standing up in the shallow water. “Why?Cant you just sleep over?”She asked,not wanting you to go.You shook your head,figuring that it wouldnt be wise to spend another night. “I cant let the place get messy.”You answered,wringing out your hair.She pouted,understanding. 

“You have to leave now?”She asked.You shrugged,sitting on the steps. “Probably soon,i’ve got to check the mail too.”You replied,stepping onto the hot concrete.She sighed,lifting herself out of the water and offering you a ride home.

You said yes,giving her a quick kiss before leaving the car,your backpack clinging to your shoulders,the store bag in hand. “I love you.”She grinned as you closed the car door. “Love you too,pretty girl.”You replied before going inside your small house.It was hot,dust on the counters and cabinets.

The coolers ice had melted,leaving cans of sprite to float in the water that was left.You sighed,going into your room and letting your backpack fall onto your mattress that stayed on the floor.You took the clothes from the store bag,putting them on hangers and letting them hang in your closet,far away from the one other pair of overalls you owned.You grinned at the splash of color in your dull home,ending up falling asleep on your stomach on top of your mattress,face in the blankets you had collected over the years.

Sarah looked in the mirror at her tube top that was covering a honey colored bralette that you liked so much,a pair of white jeans over matching yellow panties that you liked so much.

She tied her hair into a messy bun,letting out a soft sigh,grabbing her keys and getting ready to surprise you at your house.It had only been a few hours but she already missed you.She jogged down the stairs quick,close to leaving when Rose interferred. 

“Where are you going?”She asked,looking at the outfit.Sarah cursed in her head,turning to look at her step mother. “Out.”She replied,not in the mood for her bullshit.Rose crossed her arms,a knowing smirk on her face. “Out where?”She pushed,acting like an annoying fifth grader.Sarah completely understood where Wheezie got it,Rose equally as annoying as the thirteen year old. 

“Out on a date.”Sarah answered,glaring.Rose’s eyebrows furrowed,surprised. “Yeah?”She asked,raising an eyebrow.Sarah nodded. “Yeah.”She repeated,hand on the door knob. “With who?”Rose asked,really testing Sarah’s patience.

 “With someone im interested in.”Sarah replied,venom dripping from her voice. “Hes got a job?”Rose asked.Sarah nodded. “Yeah.”She answered,sick of this interrogation. “What does he do?”Rose asked.Sarah rolled her eyes,nearly laughing at how clueless she was.

 “Gardening.”Sarah replied,squeezing the door knob tightly.Rose frowned,a sympathetic smile on her face. “Sarah,he’s probably gay.”She whispered.Sarah chuckled,opening the door. “Yeah,she is.”Sarah answered,slamming the door behind her.

When she showed up to your house she let out an anxious sigh,standing at your door.She had never actually been inside before,knocking gently.Of course you couldnt hear her in your sleep though.She opened the door,frowning at the built up dust and lack of color.

She found your room easily,the one room that had a door.She knocked on it,not hearing anything and growing concerned,opening it quickly.She calmed down when she saw you asleep on your matress,hair messy.She smiled,taking a photo and sitting down on the mattress next to you.Your eyes fluttered open,squinting up at her. “Hi.”She smiled down at you.

You sat up,confused.The sun was nearly completely down,teh sky pink and purple. “Sarah?”You asked.She nodded,a grin on her face. “What are you doing here?”You asked,not really understanding why she was in your house or why she would want to be in your house.

It was messy and small and you hadnt been ready for her to see it yet.She shrugged,laying down with you. “I dont know,I missed you.”She shrugged,arms around your waist and head on your chest.You smiled,kissing her head. “I didnt end up cleaning,got tired I guess.”You replied,enjoying the warmth of her body.

She pouted,sitting up straight. “Its hot in here.”She mumbled,making you frown. “I mean yeah,I dont have air conditioning so-”You stopped talking when she peeled off her shirt and shorts,leaving her in one of your favorite sets that she owned.You nodded,agreeing. “Yeah,it is hot in here.”You agreed.

@outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @poguestyleskye​ @jjtheangel​  @dannii-li​ @lovelyelinor​​

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

[harrystylinslut]

my live in time review of Emerald Fennell’s ‘Promising Young Woman’ (2020)

Promising Young Woman

Dir Emerald Fennell

So hello friends welcome to my reviews. I type my pure, unfiltered (mostly) thoughts about movies. I call it ‘chey watches films’ and I promise it’s going to stop being so serious. 

My first film I decided to do this on is Promising Young Woman since it was a hit at this past Sunday’s Oscars. Which was amazing - btw. So, of course. Spoilers ahead. These were my thoughts as they happened knowing nothing about the story because I don’t watch trailers on purpose. 

“Boys by charli xcx are you fucking kidding me”

“20 seconds in and i already need fucking help this is so funny”

“This club scene im screaming” ~internally~

“This looks like a blast honestly god I miss clubs”

“Her bangs are so cute” - me abt cassie

“This lighting is so fucking sexy”

“Oh my god YES drunk car rides are the fucking worst”

“Wait is she just acting lol”

“Omg he’s gonna roofie her”

“The way she’s not kissing back has me crying” - was actually cry laughing a lil bit 

TW: bedroom scene ewie

“WAIT QUEEN I LOVE HER”

“Omg she’s so hot”

“It’s raining men omg lmao”

“I’m crying at this movie I hate them” - term of endearment

“I want to marry Bo’s character” - sorta 

“Not him being a foot taller than her”

“Laverne Cox is adorable and needs to wear a gold septum always”

“Luv cassie so much and the Make Me Coffee Shop” - very interesting name for a coffee shop

“That waist yes gawd” - showing her braid

“YAY IT’S BO - oh my god I love that shirt”

“Oh my god they even know each other that’s so cute”

“Interesting choice of name for Bo’s character”

“That flirting style…. I love it. Sorta enemies to loving yep” so endearing 

“NOT HIM DRINKING THE COFFEE WITH SPIT IN IT LMAOOOOO FUCK”

“She’s a fucking clown I love her”

“I love this actor” - about the coke scene

“Oh my god jesus fuck he is so cringe”

“Not shoving drugs in her mouth jesus”

“LMAO HIS NAME IS NEIL THIS IS SOOO STUPID NOT THE KISS….NEIL IS AWFUL”

“She’s so intimidating I love it”

“Oh my god this is ME”

“Cassie is so hot”

“Stealin hearts n never saying sorry”

“Ohhh this thunder is very cool”

“The guitar fuck no”

“Not her forgetting her 30th birthday omg”

“Jesus her Mom is annoying”

“Ryan is so hot omg”

“Whew he looks so good”

“Im laughing so hard Bo Burnham is such a talented actor”

“I love this actress ((Carey)) so much”

“Would have been a great doctor she just didnt want it bad enough ,, very relatable”

“Not him saying she looks like his daughter omg but like she can wear some badass heels and not be taller than him thats kinda hot though”

“Oh my god not sex on the counter JESUS SHE IS BOLD”

“She called him lover boy lmao”

“I hate it I hate it I hate that people dont understand people can be triggered by school I hate that kids even have to go through that”

“Omg the social media stalking that’s so funny”

“Ew yeah… I hate seeing awful people happy”

I

“This seems shady”

“Omg yes bitches get drunk”

“Lmao thats right feel BAD”

“Not her saying they want a good girl shut up stop being pretentious”

“People dont just forget that those things happen and it’s so shitty she’s just passing it off OMG GGGGG I HATE it”

II

“Yep she social media stalks everyone and it sucks seeing so many awful people being happy and not being served proper justice”

“Knew it knew what Alexander had done - they allude to it very well”

“Yep drunk at a party”

“The dean didnt take it seriously at all and passed it off as just some little mistake because she was drunk. People dont just shut up. Yes fuck his life up he deserves jail time - that’s so shitty oh my god”

“There can be a different fucking system we can protect people”

“This is a female Deadpool I fucks with it”

“Oh my god Cassie is CRAZY also is the receptionist in on it LMAO”

“Why do they not have a case file? Did they not file a report with the police? What the entire loving fuck why does no one remember anything about this?”

“This is beautifully filmed”

“Awe Ryan is being v sweet”

“Oh my god shes playing her game again WHHHY”

“Ryan is so protective omg that’s lowkey hot though”

“She’s so hot”

“I love this scene”

III

“Omg not his day of reckoning jesus”

“People have been trying to get him arrested for years jesus”

“Oh my god cops are so fucking corrupt this is so gross”

“I love how genuine he is I cant imagine cops that have had to go through that”

“Lmao I can relate to Nina so much I did so much shit to stand up for people I’m a professional hype man tbqh”

“Jesus I wouldnt just fucking move on either”

“Awe omg Ryan is there for her I love him”

“Oh my god they are so adorable my heart breaks for her so much”

“I wanna dance with Bo wtf”

“THE KISS AHHHH WTF”

“Come and fuck my life up PLEASE”

“Oh my god why am I crying lol”

“This family is wild lmao”

“He’s so freaking sweet”

“Love how Cassie isnt actually crazy people just truly are awful”

“Oh my god them flirting they are so freaking adorable I cant do this”

“THERE IS EVIDENCE WHY IS EVERYONE BEING THIS WAY”

“It sucks so fucking much”

“God everyone was so drunk though you cant watch though you need to help”

“I truly think people dont realize how serious it is Im glad this movie will help that”

IIII

“Um loving this orchestra version of Toxic”

“NOT MAX GREENFIELD LMAO”

“Her posing as a stripper so true”

“Hell no yes go girl bully these men”

It got very serious and uncomfortable so I skipped to the part where Max Greenfield’s character enters the room. 

“This reminds me of the Bo Dukes story”

“That’s really how it was - it’s so funny to watch these investigations how awful they are”

“You can just tell he’s lying just tell the truth plEATHE”

“God he loved her so much this hurts”

IIIII

“Max running away oh my god bitch where u going”

“I hope Ryan isnt turned in I dont think she would do that”

“YES ARREST HIS ASS”

“The necklaces Im cryin”

WHEW 100/10 I really loved that movie a lot !!!

ANYWAYS. I will write a more comprehensive review for the blog I wanna start or my podcast - but here it is!

[fenharel-archived]

about your last answer: i didn't know this and i LOVE you

i've had consoles all my life - mainly because my older brother did and who was i to say no to him - and it has never bothered me before because i have never wanted to play with other people before

my anxiety is CRIPPLING to the extent that i struggle to leave the house but one day i had a surge of confidence and wanted to go to multiplayer

only to find out i couldn't because i had to pay for the privilege

and i know that sounds stupid because i could have just paid it but what was the point when all i was going to do was play two rounds, freak out and never talk to a stranger again

SO i thought i'll get a PC setup!! i can play online games for free!!

but then it kicked in like what?? why should i buy a whole new setup and then buy your game AGAIN just so i could feel at ease playing it??

(spoiler alert: i have never played multiplayer and i honestly don't think at this rate that i ever will)

also i've been radically against being able to buy shortcuts in games when it's literally real money on the line for years - especially because you already had to buy the game in the first place, why are you having to buy it again??

but it's, i KNOW why!!

first of all is just to get money, obviously

want that super rare thing but can't be bothered to grind?? buy

want that skin that literally means nothing but it's apparently worth 30$?? buy

oh, all the customisable outfits look like shit?? but we have magically made some that loon good 6 months after the game was released?? buy

OH and SECOND of all everything above is real and true and there is no second point whatsoever

😬... honestly im mad for you, im mad because you couldnt even try to enjoy it because capitalist fucks are trying to rip us off. i think it was a smart decision of you to not give in and buy a second setup, it would just have made them happy, but also imagine you possibly wouldnt have liked the games?? multiplayer are & feel vastly different to single player games, in my experience its really something you gotta try out and look if you like it. 800€++ thrown out of the window while companies are trying to catch the falling coins.

problem is, lots of people do it though. we know lots of people give in and just buy every setup they think they need, otherwise companies would already have changed their tactics.

i agree about the microtransactions. i hate them, and i hate how they are becoming more and more popular even in single player games, and i hate how they try to lure us. when you can tell that the whole game is designed for you to get weak and just buy their pretty outfits or gold or whatever it is. because often its not just there, often the game or parts of the games are purposefully SHIT, so that you try to patch it it up in their online shop.

and to top it off, most games always cost 60 bucks on launch, so they gain 60 bucks on a game that is purposefully shitty designed, and they gain, what? 50, 100, or more, on top of it? on a single player who engages in their microtransactions. 160+€ for a single game. and if they don’t got microtransactions, then they probably got an “ultimate edition” version of the game, where the only “ultimate” thing about it is that it adds 5 outfits and a weapon skin. greed really has no end.

[avengerscompound]

The Unicorn - Chapter 14

The Unicorn:  A Pepperony Fanfic PREVIOUS

Series Masterlist

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Word Count:    2075

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader x Pepper Potts

Warnings:  Sex talk.  Pregnancy

Synopsis:  The three of you go house shopping in New York to see if you can find something you’re all happy with.

Chapter 14

Over the next few weeks, things ramped up a lot.  There was another ultrasound to be had at 8 weeks and Tony and Pepper were determined to figure out where you should all live that gave the best options for school and work.

You seemed completely nonplussed on the issue.  You still went to Avengers training in the early morning and you continued going to your lab in the afternoon.  Just now before you left you seemed to struggle with the thought that you might throw up first.

By the time of the eight-week ultrasound, you weren't just thinking about it.  You had to factor in an extra ten minutes for throwing up before you made your way down for the dawn run.  It never stopped you though.  If you could go to training hungover a little bit of morning sickness wasn't going to stop you.

The strange thing was that Pepper seemed to be suffering with it too.  Initially, the three of you had put it on her just not handling vomit very well.  It wasn’t a totally uncommon thing that when someone threw up it might set someone else off.  Pepper had never been the weak stomached type but it was possible worries about the pregnancy was already making her slightly nauseated.

By the time of the ultrasound both Tony and you were teasing her about it being sympathy vomit.

The ultrasound went fine everyone was excited to see the twins again.  They still kind of just looked like a weird blurry picture of packaging peanuts.   Tony did still feel both relieved and excited when he heard the fast squish-squish sound of their heartbeats.

After the ultrasound, the three of you went to the first of the choices for the new home.  New York City.

When Tony had made the move to the compound he’d dissolved all his property.  Avengers Tower had become the Baxter Building.  It was probably the least practical course for them because it would mean reopening a branch of Stark Industry so that Pepper had an office and you had a lab, buying a home, and possibly opening a branch of the Avengers if you were set on remaining on the team after your maternity leave was up.

Tony had booked them the penthouse suite at the Gramercy Park while they looked at options.

“Dalton.  That’s the reason.”  Pepper said.  Her heels clicked loudly on the garish marble floors of the Upper East Side mansion they were inspecting.

The house was hideous.  The ‘American Renaissance’ period of architecture was a travesty.  The whole place, with its marble floors, chandeliers, ceiling murals featuring cherubs and gold scrollwork, looked more like a museum than a home.  It was dated, to say the least.  And dated to a period of opulence with no taste or subtlety.  All Tony could think was apart from the library which he’d keep for Pepper (the murals would have to go), the pool and the cinema, he’d gut the whole thing and start over.

“I don’t know, Pep.  It could have 100 Dalton’s but there’s no yard…”

“There’s a roof garden.”

“You want the twins playing on the roof?”  He said raising an eyebrow.

“Right, of course.”  She said heading into the kitchen.  “This is nice.”

“Yeah.  Very light and spacious.  I still think… I’d have to invest at least a cool billion to have us set up and even then it wouldn’t be right and it doesn’t feel like a home.”  He said running his hand over the floating kitchen island.

“What do you think?”  Pepper asked turning to you.

“I don’t love it.”  You said.  “I mean, doesn’t it scream masked orgy to you?  I bet naked asses have been all over everything.”

“Oh yeah.  I thought it looked familiar.”  Tony teased.

“God, you’re disgusting,”  Pepper said, whacking him.  Tony laughed and rubbed his arm.  “Well, we don’t have to get this one.  There were more options.”

“Yeah, but they’ll all be either Townhouses or Penthouses.  They won’t be where we can teach them to ride their bikes or run around with their dog.  We’ll have to take them to the park every time we want to do something like that.”  Tony said.  “Plus there’s the other investments involved.  S.I. is upstate now.  I’d have to reopen here.”

“The Avengers.”  You added.

“Yeah, I moved that because it was unsafe to have it just - in the middle of the city.”  Tony agreed.

Pepper pursed her lips.  She didn’t like that you wanted to stay with the Avengers the same way she didn’t like that Tony wouldn’t give up being Iron Man back in the day.  “We can consider it though right?  That’s what we’re doing here?  Looking at each option and picking the best?”

“Yeah, you're right.  Being here is better than in the compound.”  Tony conceded.  “I don't know how big the pull to Dalton is compared to just buying land near the compound and building exactly what we want though.”

“There aren't any schools around the compound though.”  Pepper complained.

“Start your own one, Elon Musk style.”  You said.

“We are not starting our own one like Elon.”  Pepper said sternly.

“I don't know… Maybe we should.  Give another incentive for people to stay on if it was more family friendly.”  Tony said with a shrug.

“Tony…”  Pepper sighed.  He knew that tone so he dropped it.

You went out to the balcony and looked out over the park.  Tony came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.  “It is a cool city though.”  You said.

“I won't argue that.”  He agreed, kissing your neck.

“Can we get out of this house?  I feel like I'm in a museum and the temptation to just touch everything for no good reason is making my fingers itchy.”  You said.

Tony chuckled and his hands ran over your stomach.  It was still far too early to show.  Even so, he loved that he could touch you and know that his children were in there and it wouldn’t be too long until he got to hold them.  It helped put that nervous impatience he felt in check.  “I’d gut it if we bought it.”

“Oh, yeah?”  You said turning in his arms.  “Not the library.”

“No, but that mural for sure.  I’d make it more shelves.”

“Oh, tell me more.”

“All the ugly ass marble and gold would go.  I’d change the light fittings to something sleeker but still a feature.  I’d keep timber as a feature, but make it less ornate.  Sleek lines but the timber would make it feel more home than office like.  The art would be modern but not surreal.  Maybe some Warhol and Pollack.  Maybe include some impressionists to break it up.  I’d install FRIDAY obviously.  The kitchen would be a similar layout but modern.  White and black.  Granite tops not marble.  I'd make the first floor about entertaining and the top two for us.  Bedrooms.  Living room.  That would be our family space.  It would be warmer colors.  Colors that take mess more.  I'd put a lab for us in the basement.  Probably a garage too but I might keep my of my collection out here.  There would be an office for Pep.  A gym.  I'd keep the cinema and the pool.”

You grinned and pecked his lips.  “Your mind has been racing even though you don't want this place.”

“Well, I mostly just want my girls to be happy.  If buying this eyesore makes you happy, then I’m happy.”  He said.

“That’s sweet.  But it won’t.  I don’t even think Pepper is sold on it.”  You said pulling him back inside.  “God, that bathroom is going to be in my nightmares.  The green marble toilet.”

Tony laughed.  “Yeah, that would be first to go.”

They made their back inside and found Pepper coming down the stairs followed by the real estate agent.  “Okay.  Let's go.  I think I’ve seen enough.”

“Good.  Let’s get something to eat.”  Tony said.  “I’m feeling Gray’s Papaya.”

Pepper scrunched her nose.  “I think the smell would make me throw up.”   She said.  “If you want local let’s go to Katz’s.”

You looked her up and down.  “You’re gonna need to dial in this sympathy sickness thing or see a doctor because I feel like you’re stealing my thunder.”

She scowled.  “I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“So, go see a doctor.”  You pushed.

Tony followed you outside where Happy was waiting with the car.  The three of you slid into the back seat and Pepper huffed.  “I just… it’s only in the mornings or certain smells.  It’s got to just be some weird sympathy thing.”

“Maybe you’re actually pregnant,”  Tony said.  He’d meant it as a joke but as soon as the words were out of his mouth it was like something clicked into place.  Maybe she was pregnant.  He couldn’t remember when she last had her period, and they’d been tracking it regularly right up until they did the first IVF run with you.

“Ha-ha, very funny, Tony.”  Pepper snarked.

“But maybe you are pregnant, Pepper.”  You said.

“You do kind of look like you’re glowing.”  Happy added looking in the rearview mirror.

“No.  How could I be?  We did all that IVF.”  She stopped talking and seemed to try and count something off on her fingers.  “How could I be?”

“Hap, stop at a pharmacy and get some pregnancy tests would you?”  Tony said.

“You got it, boss.”  Happy replied and swerved the car around, double parking it outside a CVS on Lexington.  He jumped out and ran inside as horns sounded behind him and someone cursed them as they went around.

“But… we couldn’t.  It wasn’t working.”  Pepper said.

“I can’t explain it Pepper, but it’s possible, right?  It would explain this.”  Tony said.

“How come you get glowing and I get a breakout on my jaw?”  You snarked.

“The glow is oily skin.”  Pepper said absentmindedly.  “It depends on how dry your skin was to begin with.”

“God damn it.”  You cursed.

“What will we do?”  Pepper said looking at him.  “We already have twins.”

“Triplets?”  Tony said making an exaggerated shrug.  He was pretty far from actually being worried about this.  He was actually pretty excited at the thought of the possibility of a large instant family.

“Does it count as triplets if two different people are carrying them?”  You asked.

“I don’t know.  I mean, they’re genetically me and Pepper and they’ll be due roughly the same time.” He mused.  “What counts?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s housed in the same uterus.”  You said.

“Can we please argue about that when I’m not freaking out”  Pepper groaned.

Happy ran back out and jumped into the car passing the paper bag back to Tony.  “Hotel?”  He asked.

“Yes, please,”  Pepper said.

“And can you swing past Katz’s after.  Get us some Matzo Ball Soup, a garden salad, and a Reuben.”  Tony added.

“And Knish.”  You added.  “Potato ones.”

“Sure thing.”  Happy said pulling back into traffic.

He drove the three of you back to the Gramercy and Tony lead you and Pepper back up to the Penthouse.  Pepper was in full panic mode by the time they got upstairs and rushed straight into the main bathroom and locked the door.

“Are you okay in there, Pepper?”  You called, leaning on the door.

“Yes, leave me alone to pee in peace.”  She called back.

You snorted and moved to Tony.  “Well then,”  You said.  “I bet she is.”

“I’m not taking that bet.”  He said.

“Oh go on.  A billion dollars.  I’ll bet you a billion dollars.”

“What do you need a billion dollars for?”

You shrugged and flopped down on the couch.   The door opened and Pepper slumped out.  “Positive.  There wasn’t even a wait for lines to show.  It was right away.”

Tony rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug.  A second later you had slammed into their sides and hugged them both tightly.

“Oh my god, this is amazing,”  Tony said.

“We’re going to be pregnant at the same time.  How awesome is that?”  You added.

“I don’t - how - how do we do this?”  She said.  “How did this happen?”

Tony really didn’t know the answer to that.  All he knew for sure was he had the resources and he was excited.  He was going to be part of a big family and he’d make sure they didn’t have to worry about anything.

// NEXT

[tears-in-the-screendoor]

i copied this to comment on pinterest and it wouldnt let me but im not letting it go to waste

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

[the-kipsabian]

Please do this at your convenience but like. Can you put me together a playlist of what you consider to be Danny's best vocals? Or his best work in general? Nsp, starbomb, skyhill? I just want a good starting place

dude, honestly tho? i would be absolutely honored to do this

k so aaaAAAA lets start with. skyhill i guess since thats the first one on the line? (technically i think northern hues is the first band he was in that published stuff but i havent listened to it myself so i dont knoooow anything about it other than what i just read from a comment on a youtube video and that is that it definitely sounds like the kind of music dan would have made in his stoner days which probably was true lol)

skyhill has a lot of really good chill songs tho? i personally really love ‘the city as you walk’ and ‘black & white’ the most i think - both are like lyrically really nice to listen to and the chorus especially in black & white is just hnggg. its so good tbh. but really any skyhill songs are good! they arents. as advanced vocally as his later stuff obviously, since this band is like. 12 years old at this point at least but its nice chill stuff with honestly really nice but simple lyrics if you want some good stuff to listen to as a break from all the dick jokes and whatnots that nsp and starbomb have to offer tho!

starbomb is honestly a bit more difficult tho cause its like. much more arin-heavy with the raps and such? but! lets not have that fool us cause there are still plenty of quality songs with pretty vocals by dan tho! ..also hahaa i think its needless to say but hey heres a heavy nsfw warning for these songs

‘mega marital problems’ is a personal favorite, mostly cause dan does like. three different voices in this one? and its hilarious. also if you listen in the chorus parts, you can hear the layered singing he does and its honestly just so good mmmm

‘crasher-vania’ i feel like im gonna betray myself if i dont put this on the list for multiple reasons. 1. its EASILY the most popular song on the album. 2. its freaking fantastic, with the story and the lyrics. 3. the chorus, again? (as dan most often did the chorus work on the first album!) it sounds beautiful and especially in the second chorus, you can hear him emoting it out with the lyrics. 4. the background music. if you stop to listen to it, its honestly so good? like, its very simple, yes, but it works and it just sounds awesome. always brings a smile on my face to listen to those tasty keyboard jams ~

im gonna add ‘regretroid’ here too, as its a personal favorite too. but also his voice. goes so high? and it sounds nice?? also this song is just banging with a female feature vocalist! which is real nice!!

as for the second starbomb album! im separating it a little cause woo the boys honestly improve a lot between the albums (which is crazy cause theres only like. a year? year and a half at max? between these two albums so i cant even think how good the third one is gonna sound with five years between albums and how good current nsp sounds lol)

‘smash!’ i gotta mention cause its like. the single song from the album i feel like? also cause mark is in it! and they all sound rad and yeah it doesnt have exactly too much singing but what it has sounds. so freaking good tho mmmmm i lov

‘glass joe’s title fight’ is a must on this tho cause like. this is the one starbomb song thats so much more sing than rap heavy and hngggg its so good

‘god of no more’ okay but. dans vocals in this are gorgeous. and its a super fun song too. so its a win-win

and as a personal favorite, im just gonna throw ‘robots in need of disguise’ here cause i love this song. no other reason really lol

and thennnnn we arrive to the glory that is ninja sex party! i could be a little shit and just say to listen to all lol, but im gonna try to pick things here and there among my favorites! trying to also go by album order with these ~ also nsfw warning for this but idk what you expect with a band called ninja sex party tho

‘nsp theme song’ i mean. come on. you gotta start somewhere so lets go with this lol. and its hilarious (and kinda cute but maybe thats just me lol) and the lyrics are just. well what you’d expect with the name of the song. its very simple vocal-wise, but other than that, grade a stuff tho

‘dinosaur laser fight’ is just a classic, so here you go. its wonderful and weird and animated by arin so aaaaaa!

..also i wanna add ‘objects of desire’ here cause this song is like. lyrical genius tbh. its fucking weird but its also like a ballad so theres some nice vocal stuff here too so yay. thingssssss

‘unicorn wizard’ i honestly wouldnt be true to myself if i didnt add my FIRST nsp song to this list, the one that got me listening to these fools cause mmm. this song is ridiculous and but also lyrics? are so good?? idk how that combo works out but it does and its beautiful. also dannys vocals in the chorus are mmmmm. so solid

‘fyi i wanna f your a’ im not even ashamed to say this is one of my faves tbh. its just. the glorious kind of weird and this is like one of my favorite examples of how well these nerds write lyrics tho? also such a hard song to learn the lyrics tho, but its so worth it, trust me lol. aLSO DAN HARMONIES IN THE SECOND PART GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE HOLY SHIT

‘let’s get this terrible party started’ gets a special mention cause of the badass jams tbh. also the lyric ‘its a ninja sex party party’ gets me every fucking time. even after five years of listening to this song lol

oooof attitude city is so hard to pick just few songs from tho aaaa. but, as ive done about three from every album so far, lets try that with this one too. tho honestly just. listen to the entirety of attitude city its so good mmm. but. lets start with what i personally feel is the most underrated song on the album, ‘peppermint creams’. i dont think i need to say more than holy shit the emotions tho? especially in the chorus cause mmm. my heart

‘attitude city’ gets here too tho cause like. im personally very nostalgic for this song as it was the first real hype i had for the album so yeah. also its honestly just a really good song. also the video. includes dancing. and we all should know how i feel about dan dancing so mmmMMM im biased as shit i admit it

‘cookies!’ i wanna put this here cause it shows the how stupidly versatile these nerds are with their songs, cause this is badass and silly cute at the same time and hngg. also visually? demon!dan is way too much of a guilty pleasure. judge me all you want i donT CARE

..also i just gotta mention ‘samurai abstinence patrol’ cause of the vocal work. and just cause this song was in progress for four years before this final form and its beautiful honestly. also ‘danny french kissed a girl like he was the king of versailles’ will never get old to me gosh

I SWEAR IM DONE WITH ATTITUDE CITY AFTER THIS but also ‘6969′ is a must to mention. its an eight and half minute song but its just. amazing at everything. beautiful jams and awesome vocals. its gorgeous tbh, a masterpiece

‘cool patrol’. first of all cause apparently i “traumatized” one of my friends by making him watch the video to this and yeah. this is vocally one of my absolute favorites from them tho, dan sounds amazing in both styles, and its just. so positive and cute and aaaaa. its just such an uplifting song i love it

‘danny don’t you know’ cause this one made my cry the first few times i listened to it and its just. so relatable. also fucking beautiful vocals tho and yes the lyrics are personal which makes it even more emotional song. hnggg i love this so much tho cause it just. goes from kind of a ballad to a more of a rock song and its amazing. development similar to the story its telling

‘first date’ i mean. i gotta put my current fave song of theirs here, right? RIGHT? personally i love this cause its just a positive song, in a way i guess, but it stays true to the original nsp style and the lyrics are just perfect for their song about dating tbh. especially with how it just keeps getting gradually weirder and weirder. its just perfection hnggg i love this song. so much. god its so good (honestly tho if you give me a lyric like ‘i’ll take you back to your place and we’ll craft the perfect alibi’ idk how you expect me, a thriller writer, not to absolutely love this song to hell and back)

‘courtship of the mermaid’ idk how you expect me to make a list without this. the emotions in the vocals of this song are beautiful and its, again, hilariously absurd. as a mermaid princess i highly approve of this song

‘mansion party’ its so sad there will probably never be a video of this song cause they want to film it in an actual mansion and so far they havent mentioned that they got a chance to do that so mmmm. cause this song is so fucking banging it deserves a video honestly. the chorus is like. one of the few things in this world that makes me wanna dance. and also theres so many genius lyrics in this that its just pure gold all the way through tbh (also how do you smoke champagne? asking for a friend)

one more i swear, but the whole cool patrol album is so good hngg. but! ‘smooth talkin’’! in all of its absurdity is a must to listen to. its just what the title says, about how smooth danny is with talking to ladies. im not gonna explain more just. it goes as well as you’d expect at this point

..this is already super long but hey did you know we are still missing the two cover albums tho??

‘everybody wants to rule the world’ this one makes me wanna cry every single time. its so nice and emotional and just. a+ vocals. its just beautiful

‘subdivisions’ idk what it is really with this song but these lyrics just fit together with dan’s voice so well its just. hnggg so gorgeous? i mean it might be cause its a rush song but also yeah. its so good

‘africa’ i mean i already told you, but his vocals are so nice in this and they fit into the style of the song so well. plus africa is a beautiful song to begin with so its a win-win really

‘pour some sugar on me’ cause oh boy my pal isnt this song just banging mmmmmmMMMMM

and for the finale! ‘heat of the moment’! like. everything about this song is just really good okay? the vocals and especially the music itself is like mmm i love it?? also the cowbell. idk what it is with that in this song, but it just. it sounds so good with dan’s vocals and aaaaa

..have i rambled enough? is this a good list?? literally just mmm anything from any of these bands is a good listen, these are just mostly my personal faves or what i feel like would be the best representations of what they are about!

[iridescentearth]

I dont know what to say. I have so much to say though.

I guess ill start with i hate you. I hate you with every fiber of my body. I'm utterly seething in rage and wish you would be hit with all the consequences of all the shitty things you have ever done to me and others. I hate what you did to me. I hate how you made me feel and hate that years later you continue to make me feel that way. I hate that im scared of you. But most of all i hate how i didnt hate you then. I hate that i loved you.

I poured so much fucking love into you. So much. I thought that maybe if i filled your cracks with love and affection, you would heal. But you never did. Instead you took your own wounds and repeated them on me, making sure i felt every inch of pain you ever felt. You broke me, repeatedly, until i was just an empty shell like you. You never wanted to heal, to love. You just wanted another to hurt as bad as you did. You made it worse pretending you wanted to heal. You promised me big things. You went to rehab. You promised therapy. Everytime you always fell through. And it was always MY fault. I wasnt supportive enough. I made you relapse. I made you angry. Everything.was.always.my.fault. ALWAYS. Every time you drank. Everytime you smoked. Everytime you picked up hard drugs.

Ah the drugs. You loved them didnt you? You still do. You always loved them more than me. You always made that abundantly clear. Like the time you gave me laced weed and i started freaking out over what it was doing to my body. You laughed and thought it was a funny joke. You knew i wouldnt have smoked it if i knew. You always wanted me in an altered state of mind. Easier for you to play with your doll i guess. I wouldnt object to your sexual advances. I wouldnt fight back when you were angry. How could i? I couldnt even function. I only ever did it to make you happy, until it became the only escape from your hell i knew.

I cant stand you. Yet i can still feel your hands around my neck. I can still feel the bruises you left on my wrists. I can still feel the sharp blade of the knife you pressed against my throat and the sadistic look in your eyes when you threatened to kill me. You really did want to kill me that day. And it wasnt the first day. I still feel the saliva dripping down my face after you called me a cunt and spit on me. I still feel your disgusting hands touching my body when i said no. And i will always remember the rabid look on your face while you screamed at me to love you while you shook me so hard i thought i would pass out.

I am still amazed at the amount of shock and stress that my body was able to handle. All the panic attacks, anxiety attacks, the physical abuse, the mental abuse. I remember my throat closing so tight i couldnt breathe, screaming was the only thing that saved my life that day. I was hysterical. it was the closest to choking to death ive ever been. I remember crying myself to sleep in the dark next to you after youve had your fill of my body. I remember so many nights of me breaking down, crying uncontrollably so hard i couldnt stop shaking or wailing. I remember sitting in the cold outside, trying to take my life over and over again. Time after time. I was never as suicidal as when i was with you. My friends are the only reason im alive today. You were the only reason i wouldve been dead.

You have destroyed me as a person. And i loved you still. You raped me. And i loved you still. You hurt me physically. And i loved you still. You hurt my friends. And i loved you still. You hurt my family. And i loved you still. You took EVERYTHING from me. My education. my body. My mind. My sanity. My friends. My family. And i loved you still. I still had hope in you. I still wanted to be there for you. I gave you love in its purest form after being beaten down again and again and stripped of everything, and it wasn't enough. I was never enough.

I.was.never.enough.

Each day that rings in my mind. Each day im reminded of my worth to you. I dont think itll ever go away. Do you know what it does to a person, to love someone that much, to only get what i got in return? You took advantage of me in such a vulnerable time in my life. I was merely a child when you found me. I was 14. you were 17. You wouldnt get out of my life until i was 18. 4 years. All of my highschool career. They were supposed to be one of the most enjoyable times in my life. I was supposed to make friends, go to dances, and be a kid. Instead i was isolated, raped, and abused. 4 fucking years. 4 years of my childhood. Youre a predator. i dont know how you couldve looked at a child my age like that. Youre disgusting. You make me disgusted.

I feel like i lost out on so much. I salvaged what i could during the final months of my senior year. I tried to live again. I made new friends. I learned to love again.

Im still learning to love. Its hard. Its hard to believe someone when they say they love me. Its hard to love my parents when they wouldnt protect me when i was a child. Its hard to love and believe anyone.

But i have HIM now. And he is much more of a man than you will EVER be. He doesnt even raise his voice at me. When he puts his hands on me, he does so to hold me. When he puts his lips on me, he does so to tell me he loves me. When he gets intimate with me, he does so to worship me. When he hovers around me, he does so to protect me from anything bad, not out of jealousy. When he picks up my phone, he does so to read me a message, instead of searching my phone for reasons to be mad. When he drinks around me, he does so to celebrate his happiness, not sadness. When he lays down next to me for bed, he does so to sleep, and lets me sleep, and doesnt expect anything further. He is a true and proper gentleman, and much more than you could EVER hope to be. Hes made me believe in true love again. Hes made me believe in healthy love. Hes made me believe in loving myself first this time. And hes made me believe that i can have love in its purest unselfish form given back to me. I may have put myself back together after you broke me, but he was the one to fill my cracks with gold. He saw me broken, but instead he decided that broken was beautiful, and he loved me anyways. We build eachother up together, helping eachother grow and blossom from the dirt we used to lay in. THAT is what love is. And that is how i am meant to be loved.

[alittlebugsheadx]

Paragon

-a model or pattern of excellence or of a particular excellence; someone of exceptional merit

She was incredible. She was everything he wanted to be, to have, to love. But to her, much to his lack of awareness, he was her paragon of courage. He showed it when he stood up for he suffereing Southside, not just because they were his family, but because they were human. And they deserved to be treated like humans. Maybe it was due to her mother’s strong, snobby opinions about the North and Southside that pushed her to oppose them, maybe it was just her morals that convinced her, it didn’t matter. Betty Cooper was for a Riverdale with no sides. She didn’t want the tension to continue to build up between them and lead to death and destruction. She wanted the people of Riverdale to live in peace and harmony, as ideal as it was.

And he was key to her mission.

It was also an opportunity for her to get to know the boy she had been obsessing over for way too long. It was about time.

He’d never notice you.

You’re too vanilla.

Then don’t be.

Betty had to catch his attention before she approached him because she knew if she went up to him in her cheerleading outfit, purple sweater of grey coat, he would roll his eyes and ignore whatever came out. Strange because he didn’t want his people to be generalised yet he stereotyped her. She had never actually been in conversation with him, so maybe she was stereotyping him by assuming how he would react. Either way, she had to change something about her. She needed an edge.

And that’s exactly what she did.

It was the Friday morning that shocked the entire school body. Jughead was sitting on his motorbike, talking to a friend, (if that’s what he even called them), well more like an accomplice or a companion. He had turned around to see what everyone was staring at and what caused the loud rev of an engine.

A red mustang.

A blonde chick.

A brunette guy.

Jughead narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out who she was.

The guy opened her door and she got out, causing more jaws to drop. Heels, tight, black leather pants, black crop top sitting on her shoulders, wavy blonde hair, large gold hoop earrings, cherry red lipstick and dark shades.

She was gorgeous.

Jughead swallowed.

“What a ‘Grease’ moment,” he heard one guy say.

She took off her shades and caught eye contact, almost immediately, with Jughead.

Why me? Jughead squirmed under her dark, intense gaze before she revealed herself.

Betty Cooper?

The one girl who he had been obsessing over for as long as he could remember?

Riverdale’s very own, sweetest, most perfect girl-next-door?

That Betty Cooper?

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. He was confused also: why did she change herself when she was so perfect? What’s going on?

She looked away before heading into the school with the guy holding her bag.

Jughead closed his mouth. He could not get over his. Betty Cooper? Really?

***

School was over and Jughead was about to start up his motorbike when a certain blonde caught his eye. She was with her cool friends when she spotted him. She said goodbye and headed towards him. Nervously, he fidgeted with the key. What would she want from him?

His anxiety proved to be pointless as when she got to him. She smiled big and held out her hand, “Hi, I’m Betty-“

“Cooper. Yes, I know who you are.” He shook her hand, trying to ignore the warm feeling it gave him.

She looked a little taken aback, “Oh, you know who I am, Jughead?”

“Yeah, of course. But you know me?” He was even more shocked than the fact she was talking to him.

She laughed lightly, “Well, of course. Anyway, I was wondering if I could ask for a favour?”

What on earth could he have that she would possibly want?

“Uh, I suppose.”

‘I suppose’? What the hell Jughead? You never do favours for anyone? What’s wrong with you?

Somehow she managed to smile even bigger, “Okay, great. So I’m doing an article about how Riverdale needs to come together as one town, rather than let the two sides determine what people can do, where people can live, who people can talk to, etc, and I was wondering if I could interview you for a few points to represent the south side?” Her face did this cute thing where she looked hopeful and widened her eyes with a head tilt. It’s hard to explain.

He swallowed. He keeps forgetting to do that. Before he could think about it the words flew out of his mouth, “Yeah, of course. When?”

Her eyes lit up, “Okay great, thanks! Uh, how does Pops sound tomorrow?”

“Okay, see you at 5?”

“Yes!” She smiled before leaving him, to return to her friends, looking back at him whilst smiling to herself.

Betty couldn’t believe he had actually said yes. She genuinely believed he would say some unpolite words to her that would pierce her heart. But he was sweet.

***

Jughead sat in his booth, waiting for the pretty blonde. He was sincerely scared she was going to stand him up. But it’s Betty? She wouldn’t do that. Or would she? It’s not like he actually knew her.

Just as he was going to accept the humiliation, the girl walked into the diner, messed up hair and eyes wide with curiosity. She caught sight of him and felt her heart flutter when he gave her a sort of smile.

He caught her attention and his heart did a little skip when she smiled at him, and he was so surprised at his involuntary actions that he didn’t realise a smile had creeped up on his face.

“Hey! I hope you weren’t waiting too long, I’m really sorry, Principal Weatherbee was talking to me and I couldn’t get out of it-“

Jughead interjected before she waffled on, to reassure her it was okay. The two began the interview after Betty had got a milkshake that she barely drank, so much so that Jughead was granted permission to drink it. The two got to know one another better, and Betty even made Jughead laughed. He made her laugh plenty, but that was Betty. She was made out of giggles and laughs. Him? Not so much. So that was a huge achievement. One might even view this meeting as date.

The conversation came to a halt when Betty blurted the one thing she couldn’t get out of her mind.

“Why did you agree to this?”

Jughead, a bit taken aback, replied, “I...uh...well, I’m honestly not sure. I wasn’t expecting you to ask me that, let alone talk to me, so maybe just...”

“Why wouldnt I talk to you?” Betty raised an eyebrow.

Jughead blushed, “Well, you know...”

“I really don’t?”

“You’re...you. You’re Betty Cooper. And I’m, well, me.”

Betty swallowed and looked down at her hands gripping the notepad, “Oh. I see.”

Jughead, sending he had somehow insulted her, reached for her hand, immediately feeling the buzz again.

She looked up.

“I don’t mean that rudely. I just...I never thought you would want to speak to someone like me. Simply because you’re so...perfect.”

Her brows furrowed. “I hate being called that,” she said quietly. “No one is perfect. Even if that’s what it seems like.” She pulled her hand back, clearly very insulted.

“Okay, I’m sorry. But can I ask...?”

She nodded.

“Why did you expect me to say no?”

She pursed her lips, clearly thinking. “Well, I thought that you would refuse because...well...I don’t know. I just thought you would roll your eyes and think it’s like pathetic.”

“Oh.” Jughead knew he had a tough exterior, he just never thought Betty Cooper would believe it let alone fear it.

“I wouldn’t roll my eyes at you. Or think it’s pathetic.”

“How come?”

“Well, I know you say you aren’t perfect, okay fine, but you are nice, you must know that, and you...well...I have kind of always respected you and well, noticed you...well ‘noticed’ is a bit of an understatement...I’m not coming off creepy am I?” He waffled, with his brain having no control of what came out.

She laughed, with her lit up eyes, “No, not at all. To be honest, I have felt the same way actually. But I didn’t know you knew who I was.”

“Oh yes,” Jughead was extremely comfortable at this point, “I’m well aware. Always have been. Whilst we’re being so honest, let me tell you...you...you are kind of like...”

“Like what?” Her head did that head tilt thing.

“Like my paragon. My paragon of morality, virtue, contagious happiness. I don’t think I’ve smiled let alone laughed this much in these two hours than I have my entire life. I know that probably sounds very dramatic and I’m probably coming off very strongly and you’re probably totally freaked out-“

“You’re my paragon too. You know, my paragon of morality, principals and the sort.”

He smiled and he nearly, almost felt his own eyes lit up.

They did.

He had never been called anyone’s ‘my’ before. He had never been anything like that to anyone. She had. She had been a girlfriend, a sister, a daughter. He had been a leader, but it wasn’t the same: earning the respect of family is different to always being respected by the person they felt the same way towards. Reciprocation. Another unknown feeling to the both of them. They finally felt like they had someone on their wavelength. Someone who respected them for who they were and, not to their knowledge at the time, loved them for it. The couple talked for hours that night, and Betty completely forgot that she had a curfew. But walking back with the black-haired boy at midnight, under the glowing moon, was worth the telling-off. They arrived at her house, standing on the sidewalk, when Betty turned to him.

“Thanks for walking me home,” she whispered.

“Not a problem.” He had known the bike would make noise and plus he wanted to spend as long as possible with her before everything resumed to normal tommorow.

The two were breathing in sync, just looking at each other, trying to figure out what their eyes were saying. Jughead couldn’t figure her out but he knew what he wanted. So he pressed his lips to hers, with all the passion he could muster. He had never kissed a girl before but if it was anything like this he would be doing it a lot more often. She immediately kissed back, and wrapped her arms around his neck, and he around her waist, pulling her into him. The couple completely forgot about everything else in the world as they really didn’t care. All they wanted was to keep this buzz they felt alive. When they pulled away slowly, they rested their foreheads against each other, catching their breaths and smiled.

They were each other’s paragon of everything good.

When your admirer adores you for everything you adore about them, then that’s love.

[sequoiann]

✎ it’s ya girl denise !!!!! and guess what!! yes it’s already in the header but hfsdk i’ve hit my first anniversary!!! it’s crazy that i’ve actually sustained my account for a year! im rly so so grateful tht i’ve built up this… thing…. :^) the tumblr fam + the friends ive made through this acc was a hugeee part of my 2017, and im sure it’d be an even bigger part of my 2018 ! i’d like to thank everyone for being willing to read my pile of bullcrap tht i pour out of my head, ive said this before n i’ll say it again: i never ever imagined tht i’ll have a successful writing acc on here! i’ve tried writing on other platforms (like wattpad) before but it nv rly worked out well long-term bc it became a chore for me to post n update my stories…. but it’s never like tht on tumblr bc of you sweet buttercups!!! thnk u all for constantly reminding me to take care of myself n for checking in on me randomly nd !!! for keyboard smashing your souls out + screaming @ me when i post content!! every little action you guys do rly impacts me a lot, n even when u guys just come by n drop a msg in my inbox my heart just combusts n 💞💛🚨💎💗💥💘‼ (okay enough yapping)

i honestly dont know how follow forevers work but ! i’d like to mention people tht hv, in one way or another, helped me to keep this account going! i cant mention e v e ry o n e but do know tht as long as you’ve made a single note on my dash or hv positive views on my content, you’d be in this list if i cld fit everyone!! i love you all and thnk u so much for everything!

💛: scroll 2 the bottom for a msg! 💗: bithc i’d fling myself out of the solar system for you ilysdm wth ⛅: i actl stalk ur page every few days n send in anon asks bc im a coward but haa thnk u 4 being an inspiration to humanity 💫: we dont talk a lot yet but i absolutely adore ur content!!! n i hope you’re well n happy bc u deserve all the love u can get !

a-c :

@andromedaneedsoxyjin 💗 @adoretexts ⛅ @ajuimaginary 💗 @boosoonhao 💛 @bfwooz 💗 @blondshua 💫 @bookwan 💗 @cheolshu 💫 @chittafont ⛅ @choco-seventeen 💛 @caratvocals 💛 @cosmicae 💗 @chillihansol 💛 @camera-seventeen 💫

d-o :

@dumbbelle 💛 @dreamingseventeen 💛 @gyuofficial 💫 @hansolmates 💗 @hoshidotcom  💫 @hyungwon  💫 @hxshi  💫 @honeywonu 💗 @jeongahn  💗 @joshsua 💫 @jiso2 💗 @jeong-hanie 💫 @joshpup 💗 @johshuas 💫 @jeonghney  💫 @kristian-do 💗 @kingyu97 💛 @kwoncity 💗 @lxveille 💗 @myungho ⛅ @neoyeppuda 💛 @oatmealupdates 💗

p-s :

@princeshushu @paintedshua 💛 @peachseong ⛅ @pasteluji ⛅ @pjimims ⛅ @rappershua 💫 @seventeendom 💫 @soongyuz @shuvee 💫@saythename17scenarios 💗 @starshua @sailorimagines ⛅ @swimmingfool 💫@sebongie-loves ⛅ @softmanscoups 💫 @softhaos ⛅ @soongyuz 💛

t - # :

@ttherose 💫 @taekemeaway ⛅ @tswoondere 💫 @vitaminhosh 💫 @versigny ⛅ @warmau ⛅ @welovekpopscenarios 💗 @writers-leir ⛅ @writingdummy 💗 @whatsoodo ⛅ @wonuz ⛅ @17cuties ⛅ @17cafe 💗 @17mounteens 💗

❥ @boosoonhao

love!!! okay hello hngh we hvnt talked the most yet but i dont think i’ve expressed my utmost love for you enough so yes let me tell you how much i l o v e your content, plus u post quality works so often it makes my little heart so !!! content !!! im not sure when you made your account n i think i discovered your blog a little late but thnk u for your effort in everything you do, u rly inspire me to keep working on my drafts :”) i lov you n i hope we get closer this year! even if im an awkward ass! 

❥ @choco-seventeen

chOcoOooO oh choco my juliet hskjdf hi it’s my annoying ass here to bother u again with my over-the-top affection for u!!!! you rly were one of the blogs tht made me start my own writing blog, n even when i did i nv knew i’d ever talk to u?? maybe through anon heuk but i rly thought u’d be tht holy figure up there tht i’ll never reach! i mean u are still tht holy figure but thnk u for being so friendly n nice n cute n for bcoming a friend 2 me!!! i lov u so much + okay pfft your works pffttt i wnt to frame them up in gold n hang them in my living hall wadafack bih

❥ @caratvocals

oh look another one of my inspirations whom motivated me to start out making fake texts!! kura my love hello !!! i knw we hvnt talked a lot in the recent months…? but my appreciation n love for u still ! remains ! the same !! i love your bubbly n kind personality n it’s rly similar to seokmin’s…. you’re the sun tht never goes out! thnk u for spouting random cute words bc wow thAT shiT you do makes me so soft n your texts??? my honey your texts are so legit i cackle whenever i read them !! i never know how you make them so realistic but i’d like to thank you for putting so much effort into your work ; n your scenarios omg when u released your first fic i wanted to roll in the grass n scream ! it was so good, the chan apocalypse one and the jeonghan day 27 (? i think?) one! i lov all your works basically, thnk u for being so inspiring n cute n for being yourself i lov u !!!

❥ @chillihansol

hanni hanni hanni HANNI !!! my virtual sister! the loml !!! i’ve got so many things to thank you for honestly, you’ve been tht pillar of support for me whenever my mind is just going haphazard ! n u always try to help whenever sth comes up n ure so kind abt everything i wna migrate to where u live omf // + i’ve seen u improve in your writing so much in such a short period of time i am shook tbh wht kind of black magic are u doing ?? ok but im so grateful to hv met u omg when i think abt u i honestly just…… burst into ugly tears bc wht did i ever do in my past life to deserve you ilysdm thnk u for coming into my life n staying here through all my bullsht

❥ @dumbelle

my ring ring ding a ling!!! my disney princess !!!! i love you so much do i need to say anything more!!! thnk u for always checking in on me with cute lil msgs n chatting w my boring ass ! you’re so sweet n kind n so crazy n wow i love crazy :^)) you’ve been posting such unique content on your blog…. i mean the moodboards + the speech text bubbles + the cute lil scenarios below tht?? wht the heck tht is so cute ???? the first time i saw  one of your moodboard i started chuckling 2 myself @ the dinner table n i wnted to shove the fork down my throat is2g ok ilyssm

❥ @kingyu97

feesha!! i rmb when you were still tht f anon tht i met indirectly through clar n lani, n you lil shits wouldnt tell me who u are !!! tht was a funny experience im not gna lie but tht aside, thnk u for always showing your support in my works + being my lil chat buddy!! you brighten up my days so much, sometimes u randomly pop into my inbox when im feeling under the waeather n it just… rly…. makes me smile n then sob in 54 languages bc i lov u n i hv done nothing to deserve everything u do for me n i just…. i just love u ok pls stay in my life ilyily

❥ @dreamingseventeen

yEt another one of my senpais ! my inspiration 2 write!!!! i’ve loved your works ever since i discovered cos, it’s rly one of the fics tht i rmb every detail abt bc i reread it everytime it fades from my dory memory!! i feel so honored tht i got to talk to n be friends with succch an amazing author like you, n i love how you’re just so sincere n genuine in everything tht u do! thnk u for supporting me + encouraging me when im hesitant to do stuff, im so grateful for you and i love you ! i hope you keep writing (although your cat walks all over you n your desktop kekk how cute), pls do rmb to stay healthy !!

❥ @neoyeppuda

i’d really want to make 2 separate dedis to the both of u clar n lani but this post is getting toooo long so i’ll try to be concise but at the same time (hopefully) be able to tell u 2 how much i love u!!! the both of u hv been supporting me for a while n i heard abt you guys a lot before, n when yall came into my inbox i shrieked when i found out tht it was the admins of neoyeppuda like woa i feel like a celebrity just noticed me?? the same feeling i got with choco when i interacted w her for the first time! thnk u both for being so sweet n kind n crazy with me, im so thankful tht the both of u are my friends :^) lani you’re so damn beautiful both inside out n i hope u dont forget tht, i knw things may be hard but it’ll get better - talk to me whenever alright ♡ clar you’re the adorablest fluffiest person ever ilysm thnk u for always hitting my soft spots haaaa :”))) i hope 2018 goes well for the both of u, n pls take care!

❥ @paintedshua

sophie!!! my lovely lavendar soap bar! i think you’d be able to expect wht i wna say already but thnk u for chatting with me at random times of the day / night abt random ass topics tht come off your head (or maybe mine?) ! it makes me so happy tht we’re able to talk so… calmly abt crazy topics n talk so crazily abt calm topics….. i dont think tht made sense but yes u get it hnghh thnk u for building this friendship with me! one tht i treasure with all my heart n soul!!! i hope you continue having happiness n bliss in your life bc u obviously deserve all the good u can get

❥ @soongyuz

priya!!!! wow i can write a freaking 87439-word essay for u bc i think?? tht you’ve been my longest (i dont think tht this is the correct term but) mutual? you’ve been here as heart anon, and let me tell you!!! those days!!! i wasn’t in the best emotional condition (?? ok this doesnt sound right too buT lets move on) then n your heart anon asks were so cute n so innocent n just so!! full of marshmallows n rainbow sprinkles !!! n then a priya emerged from tht n im so damn grateful tht you’ve been with me for so long, thnk u for absolutely everything tht you’ve done for me, i love u so much ♡ i hope you arent too stressed abt school + i hope ure taking care of yourself!

[sammlethal]

Anyone ever tell you that they do not love you? At that point when you have stars in your eyes and that person fills your heart to bursting? Have you ever given someone every single emotion there is to give? From rage to tears of joy? Emotions from both your personal stock and theirs?

Its like we live in a time period where actual love is dead. Everything is selfish. Everyone. Me included.

My father quit on me. Packed all mine and my siblings belongings into small plastic shopping bags and dropped us off 6 hours away in my mothers neighborhood, not sure which house was hers. I had to hold my brother and sister's hands while knocking door to door, looking for my mom. I was 12.

That was a couple years after the era of beatings, after the era of divorce. After that Friday afternoon day at school; my mother was the school bus driver before the divorce. Everyday we rode home with her. Until my father picked us all up. It was fun for us kids. We NEVER got picked up, and by our father! What a thing! He drove us to our pastors house. We did not see our mother again for almost 5 years. In the State of Virgina, in the late 90s, it wasnt considered kidnapping for a biological parent to take off with the kids if they stay within state lines. And my mother must have given up after that. I imagine the evil that was my real father, and how crushed and scared she must have been. Only now do I know what it is she felt.

That was after the molestation of me and my sister by our God father/Sunday school teacher/the churches singing coach.

Then there was my first love. I was 17. She was 16. By 19 we had a daughter, her name is Serenity. My ex was a freak. My demanded things from me that I could not give her, not physically. So in order to keep her and my kid, I let her have her satisfaction and pleasure.

I guess someone screwed her over because she fabricated these fake police reports about a guy who kept coming after her and she said she called the cops over and over and he wouldnt leave her alone (she was 6 months preggo when this happened) and she didnt feel safe and I beat him up. I beat him up bad. Almost killed him. Turns out she lied and he had been paying her for preggo nude flicks and videos amd she felt he still owed her money. So she used my insecurities and my nature and set me on a course that led me to 5 years in prison. Then she left me. Yeah I know. I'm a fucking idiot. My only defense was that i was young and dumb and in love. Or so I thought. No really...i thought it was the right thing. That I was protecting my small, new family. And damnit man, family means the world to me. Probably because mine has been so fucked up lol.

Anyways I get out in 2015 and I meet a girl. She rocks my world in all new was and we CLICK. Like...humor and taste and the world issues we care about and nerdy things and the SEX IS ON FIRE. And I fucked up. I fucked up bad. I broke her heart. I got drunk. I started the road to becoming my biological father.

Then she left me. Which was biggest, greatest thing she could have ever done for me. I went spiraling out of control and ended up living in the woods.

Until she calls me one day. I had a new girlfriend. We did not CLICK lol...and as soon as me and her spoke I turned to that girl and told her we were not gonna work out.

You see. Me and my lady had a son together. A beautiful, handsome as hell and adorable baby boy. And he really became my world. I walked 7 miles to meet him. My feet had popped blisters by the time I got downtown and saw them. The whole time I'm walking I'm hopping she didnt leave. That she would wait. And she did.

Then I messed up again. I scared her. That time between when we broke up and when she came back...i did not do good. I found cocaine and alcohol and it led to a very big fight between the two of us. That night we fought I have never been more like my father than right then and there. And I payed for it. The next morning I was arrested. No one thought of rehab. No one had the sight to see the root of the issues. Or no one cared. It was back to prison for me. A parole violation.

I got out. We tried again. I failed again. Only this time nothing horribly bad had happened. She just wanted an escape. I know this because she has since told me so. That she wasn't IN LOVE with me and needed an escape. We had been split up almost a week. I will never forget. It started on a Wednesday night, I left and went to my mothers. That following Sunday the police beat down the door and arrested me AGAIN. Only this time nothing bad had happened. Not really. She just didnt want to be with me. And so she sent me away. For two more years. 2!

I get out. I find peace finally. I start taking care of mental health.

She comes back! Again! And once again I leave my girlfriend at the time, who by the way, had a heart of gold and did not deserve to get caught up in mine and my lovers drama. I will forever feel guilty about that and I hope she forgives me over time. But at the end...no one can replace my son's Mother. She is my other half. My best friend.

We've been going since April? May? It had been a few years and I had just gotten out a few months before and the Covid just hit so I was trying to get the family court papers started. I got in touch with a private detective to find her so I could have her served. The the last thing I expected was to get a call from her.

And here we are. I am struggling to learn all the important, fundamental life lessons that my parents failed to teach me. I am struggling to learn those crucial relationship lessons we learn when in our twenties...that era of my life that was spent locked away.

All i want is my family. Is to be loved. And to ve able to return that love. My life could have went a few different ways. But here I am, doing the right things as much as I see them. I beat myself up when I fail. I work hard doing general construction. I'm good at it too. I start school in the spring. Nothing fancy just community college. I am an awesome dad. An awesome lover. And I have a huge heart.

ALMOST every single day I am with my little family. My son's Mother and my son. She doesnt want me to move in...which I understand. She claims to be an introvert. Which I also understand. (Along with beating, my childhood was also spent locked in my room, grounded, for days on days on days).

And dont get it wrong. Me and her have some issues. Mine (I think?) are just basic life things I'm trying to wrap my head around, like I said, the things my parents failed me on. But at least I know that. I admit it. And I'm trying. Because I'm a good man who has been through hell and because of that hell, I love with a feirceness, I don't give up. I am patient. And I generally have a positive outlook on life. I would I am doing good, all things considered. Her issues? Jesus fucking Christ. You would swear the world is ending right now.

She is constantly breaking up with me. For example, this weekend I gave it to her in a way neither of us have had...im talking sex here...we both have this...fetish, both of us (how rare?) And we both click when we do these things. Anyways I left her empty of all juices. Then I massaged her a little that night, telling her how good and amazing she is. Then another nice massage a day or so later. She thanked me after the last one (massage I mean)...saying how her back didnt hurt in the morning and how she got her yoga done.

And now we are broken up. Right now. Again. It was last week when it happened. She calls me on Wednesday or Thursday and says that I got in her head. Then this awesome weekend happens. Then an awesome start to the week. Then tuesday, doing construction, I think i pulled something in my leg or gave myself a small hernia, because after work I was in pain and sore. I asked told her I wanted to stay home. Rest up. That the next day we were supposed to start this big window replacement job. 20 something windows. But no. We argued over it. I dont know why. I think she just really missed me. Or so I thought. And said she needed help with our son. She always says that, then when i get there and dinner is over, the rest of her night is spent on her phone (which she is sneaky with), on the TV, or MAYBE catching up on homework. Says she is tired after a long day of working from home, on the phone and computer. Doing IT. But I do physical labor. And if I complain that I am sore or tired she just thinks i want to sit at home on my PlayStation or watching netflix, instead of taking the responsibility to be there for our son. Which remember, I am ALWAYS THERE. Unless she has decided that I am horrible, in which case she breaks up with me, and I spend the next couple of days hurt and crying and missing my family. I can not move in with her and my son. She does not want her family to know. (My mother told me she would disown me if me and her got back together. But it did not stop me. Because i am a man, and she is my woman. He is my son. And this is my life)....and is so stressed and anxious that will find me over there. I have actually, more than once, had to run and hide because her family popped up.

So yeah, I walk over there. This was Tuesday. The day when I think I pulled a muscle. I walked. She says that the only reason I walked was because she had to yell at me. But man...see these text. You would swear I am the world's largest dick head. In reality she said all these things in front of my son. That night I touched her. Massaged her just a little...soft touches. We made love. I woke up throughout the night with leg cramps. Woke up the next morning so tired from lack of sleep and hurting leg muscles. Called the doctor. Had to miss work. Turns out that yep, I gave myself a small hernia. Then WALKED on it lol.

So when we talked yesterday. I told her that the doc is pretty sure I have a hernia...my appointment was today and yes...yes I do have a little hernia. Doc wants me to rest but I'm pretty sure I have to work. Anyways so yesterday, before she picks our boy up from daycare (by the way, kuddos to you moms who work from home AND have kids to deal with at the same time. You girls are superheros!)...which I agree with daycare. He is an only child and he needs interaction with other kids. It's important for his development. Anywho, she ask me before picking him up if I want to come over. I tell her no, tell her what the doc said. By this point I have been there everyday since Friday. While on parole and breaking cerfew and worried about that. (Which I got questioned on. If I didnt worry about parole before, why now? And I dunno. Thats way of anxiety? But good thing I did because he came by this morning and I was here. Had I been there with her, I would have been here and would be on my way to a big ole parole violation. But no. In her eyes I dont do enough. I have to be there every day, no matter if I'm sick or sore or in pain. That is what she said. That a real parent never quits.

I'm just so confused. I didnt quit. He can come over here to my place whenever he wants. Ive told her this. I have told him that. Of all nights for the two of us to stay at our respective homes, last night was it. I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN AND CAN BARELY MOVE.

But she broke up with me again last night. Or better yet, said that we have been broken up. She said she doenst love me anymore.

How? Literally all we do is laugh. Have amazing sex. We are awesome parents. I literally dote on her. Massage her. Touch her softly. Like for real, I EMPTIED her of all juices, have seen her cry...actually cry, from pleasure. She makes 50x more money than I do, but I still give her money because I don't want to feel like a burden.

I dont get it. I really don't. I give the shirt off my back. Gave myself a hernia. All I want is belong to a family that doesn't quit when the anxiety comes. Who doesnt take a lifetime of anxiety and stress and then blame it on someone else simply because they are what is in front of you at the moment.

How can someone be so smart and not see that? Or not want to?

Its 2020. We live in a world that encourages us to lie to ourselves. To lie to ourselves about our nature. We all believe we are good. Harmless people. Who would never hurt anyone or cause ill will. What we fail to see is that yes, we do cause all of these things, and then some. We are not perfect. We are human. We will hurt other people. We will lie. The great tragedy of the world isnt this in and of itself...these different hurts and heart aches are as old as humanity is....war, peace. Love and hate. The great tragedy is that we have been led to believe that we are beyond that, that we good, perfect people. And so when we do hurt others, its not our faults but theirs because how can I, this wonderful human being in the modern age, ever hurt someone? I have a car, a job, I'm a good parent. I'm a good boss. Whatever it is. We justify who we are by our level of success. And this is wrong.

And when she ask me why I love her after everything. Those moments when we both see the truth and see who we are, those are the moments when she ask me how I'm the world I can actually love her knowing all this. Dealing with all this. How? And I dont have the answer. I just know that my heart beats for the two of them (her and my boy) and it always will and I really hope one day she comes around. I'm waiting for that.

Some men find that one lady, that one lover, and there is nothing else after her that we want. She has it all. And that is me. That is her.

I love you

[zentheknightingale]

Stuff like this happens to me too, so I’ve learned to ignore it as well. But if it were these guys...

Warning: Slightly NSFW? The moments in themselves are very fluffy...

-Ad Bloo~

SCENARIO: HOW WOULD RFA+V+SAERAN REACT TO ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHING YOUR CHEST

Yoosung

Depth Perception is the WORST when you only have one eye.

You guys were about to  head out together to a fancy dinner, when he noticed you were wearing the necklace he had bought for your anniversary.

It was a simple gold chain with a bejeweled star pendant not completely real but pretty dang expensive

It warmed his heart that you were wearing it; he reached out to you to inspect the pendant a bit more properly.

…only to miss by a couple inches.

His fingers grazed the top of your breasts and even slipped into a bit of the cleavage It was a classy dress so it wasn’t too much or anything

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY

His hand immediately flew away and both of you turned away from each other.

He was still bowing and vehemently apologizing to you; this poor boy was so worried that you would think he’s a creep.

But you shyly said that you… really didn’t mind it so much as you fidgeted with the skirt of your dress.

His head nearly exploded at that. “Wait- you- I- what?”

You giggled at his stammering and pulled him away to your reservation for the night.

Jaehee

You were sitting on a desk, in your cami and shorts, settling some papers.

Jaehee insisted that she help as well, but you wanted to do them yourself.

She brought you a cup of coffee to keep you alert.

When she came back to take the cup back, she chuckled when she saw you in the exact same position she left you in.

Except you had fallen asleep with your head propped up on your hand.

even with the coffee....

You had finished the drink, and put it beside you at a place Jaehee couldn’t reach very easily.

Careful not to disturb, she maneuvered her hand to finally grab the mug.

However, while pulling out, her arm grazed your breasts...

She stiffened as you shuffled a bit, but otherwise resumed your nap.

When she successfully procured the cup, she quickly made her escape.

The slamming of the door woke you up

She slid down the wall beside the door, heart racing at what had just happened.

For the next few days, she couldn’t look at you in the eye, and you were supremely confused, but let it be.

Zen

You both had finally gone on your very first date. And it was going great so far.

The amusement park is always one of the best places.

As you very eagerly wandered around from store to store, Zen couldn’t help but notice that you were attracting quite a few eyes.

He ‘casually’ draped an arm around your shoulders and glared at the other men who were looking.

When he was finally done with the others, he noticed that you had suddenly gone quiet.

He lowered himself to your head level to ask whats wrong, you being short and all.

You shyly pointed to his hand, which was very closely hovering over your right breast...

He immediately straightened up and pulled away super quickly.

“I’m so sorry! You should have told me earlier!!! Argh! And when I was trying my best to protect you too.”

He was so ashamed of himself, and so had put quite a bit of distance between you two.

Pouting, you come closer to him and rest his arm on your waist.

His heart raced at your boldness, and the happiness was restored as he pulled you even closer.

707/Luciel/Saeyoung

Finally with Vanderwood’s permission and Saeran agreeing to house-sit, he could finally take you out on a long drive today.

You were amused by just how eager he was to take you out.

You finally get to ride on one of my babies.

This boy is so eager, he all but pushed you into the passenger seat.

He then jumps into his own driver’s seat and starts the car, only to have it beep at the both of them for not wearing seatbelts.

Now, on a normal day, he would ignore it or just wouldn’t have forgotten.

But today, he ain’t having it.

He gets up on his seat and reaches over to your side to buckle your seat belt for you.

But then, he topples all over you because he wasn’t very balanced when he was doing it.

He tries to steady himself by pushing against the car seat... but he accidentally gropes you chest in the process.

SEEEVVVEEEENNNN!!

Before you could push him away, he jumps out and settles on his own seat.

Poor boy can’t look at you in the face now; he’s simply sits there as you adjust yourself.

You wanted to yell at him, but it looked like he was already beating himself up for it, so you let it pass.

It doesn’t take him too long to be his cheery self again, but he is definitely more careful now.

Jumin

It’s canon that this dude has a play Gray station and a Xbox Zet Box in the penthouse.

You would probably convince him to play it with you at least once a week.

Both of you like the more interactive games than the ones that don’t require moving around.

But we all know he is terrible with technology. If the vending machine wasn’t proof enough...

So whenever it is his turn, he’s frantically waving around the remote, trying to get the game to sense it.

You have to hold back your laughter at this adorable frustration.

He refuses to take any help from you though.

One time, he actually got so engrossed, he couldn’t tell his actions had gotten wilder.

So when his hand swiped through something soft at his side, he froze at the foreign feeling.

He turned to find you protectively covering your chest with your arms.

Putting two and two together, he set the controller aside and calmly apologized.

You chuckled awkwardly, saying that it’s okay since it was accident.

Nodding, he excused himself to the bedroom, saying that he had some work to look at.

But as soon as the door closed behind him, both of you turn super super embarrassed and try to calm yourselves down.

V/Jihyun

Would you believe me if I said that this happens a lot more than you think?

In fact, it is how your first meeting went.

Jumin introduced you to him at the RFA party.

But he may have forgotten to give him an idea about your height.

So when he outstretched his had to shake yours, you were shook when he was reaching towards your chest

Thankfully he stopped moments before contact, so you warily shake his hand.

Later on, you give him a pretty good idea about your height so that he doesn’t do it.

But sometimes you swear that he does it on purpose around the house.

The only proof you have that they are truly accidents is when his ears turn an adorable shade of red every time he realizes.

No matter how suavely he tries to ignore it or apologizes, his ears always give him away.

Unknown/Saeran

Twas a cold winter night, and the two of you were watching a movie under a large quilt on the sofa.

Saeyoung wanted to join you guys too, but Saeran hissed and glared at his brother until he finally gave up.

You both kept adjusting and readjusting your positions until finally Saeran had an arm linked to yours and settled comfortably on your shoulder.

Okay, so maybe the movie was bit too bland for his taste; his head kept bobbing as he dozed on and off.

In the middle, he fell asleep and his head slipped away from your shoulder.

Groggily, he set himself back on what he thought was your shoulder; admiring how soft it suddenly became.

When he did this, you abruptly tore your attention away from the screen, watching Saeran peacefully snooze on your chest.

You were freaking out, not knowing how to move him without waking him up...

But instead, you smooth his hair and pet him softly, smiling at the sight in front of you.

“LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE”

You jumped and shrieked a little, turning your head to see Saeyoung smirking at you both from his door.

Saeran’s eyes popped open, and upon realizing where he was, immediately jumped away from you.

You both yelled at Seven until he finally went back to his room.

“You wanna watch something else?” “I’ll choose this time.”

The thing with Saeran happened with my baby bro; he snuggled up to my side while I was doing homework. I didn’t realize he was asleep until I tried to get up. Since he was only four, it wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. XDD

[could-i-be-any-cooler-blog]

A story written from a Tumblr Perspective

Before anyone reads this I would like to point out this story might feel exaggerated or cheesy or just plain stupid, well it was intended, keep that in mind. Thank you. A story written from a Tumblr perspective. U know this trip could have ended differently, it's too late tho, you see I'm falling off a cliff right now because of a rare desease I like to call the IDDLT, short for imaginative death due to loss of tumblr, don't believe me? Well there was this chicken, it could fly and it told me that I was... whatsup with da crazy face? Oh... yes I should probably start from the beginning, it all began with two words and an exclamation mark. No wifi!? Yes honey for the millionth time the secluded valley we are going to will not have wifi! But, but, DAD! Don't worry dear, think of it as a way to open ur mind... to calm ur soul and shakra... ahh don't u just feel it honey, u spend too much time on that Facebook app of yours anyways. MOM!! How dare u insult my tumblr like that!! It's not Facebook!! Oh u kids with ur apps these days, they're both blue? What's the difference!? At this point I just went full silent treatment teenager sulking mode, I wasn't going to talk to anyone, breath for anyone, not even think of anyone except of my precios tumblr. Only I didn't know what kinda seclusion was in store for me... dan dan dan daaaan 5 hours later *spongebob narritve voice Ah so secluded not even the car could come with. It's true, my dad seemed very ok with this, we had to leave the car behind, and then had to walk for an hour, like what's up with that? Nature and walking *shudder. Oh honey this is amazing, it's so yoga! Wait hold up, let's take a minute to just breathe and think about this... inhale* exhale* now the question is, is yoga an adjective!? Society these days. Anything for u sweetie! Now I will spare u detail of what took place in the next 1/2 a second for two reasons 1. No human should have to endure that 2. Because I looked away, but from the sound I heard it was a kiss, a freaking kiss! I know right talk about public indecency. U may be wondering much commentary many wow, but only like this will u understand where I stand... *snicker* did u see dat *snicker* i used stand twice... yea it wasn't that funny... moving on! What my mom had so wonderfully described as yoga, was a small eco house and a chicken coop in the middle of an Alaskan valley, the things ppl build... And I thought to myself... What a shitty wooooorld... Thank you, thank you! Performance by the one and only Chloe garcia, bob on Tumblr for all you Tumblr boys and girls out there, no straight white males tho!! U may be thinking, how the hell did I, wonderful smart bisexual 1/16 Asian girl I, get a tumblr handle like bob, it's so unoriginal it's amazing, let me tell you how. I fought a guy for it, his name was bob... Muahahahaha I do what I do. ;) ... ... I think my minds deteriorating. Like literally. I think I might die. Oooooh I might ride a helicopter to the E.R. Dude! What if, In the middle of the ride, I'd just jump out! I'd be the girl that didn't want to be saved! So poetic, such tumble worthy, many wow. That'd be a good way to go *sighs dreamily*. Wow... I never cease to amaze myself, other people must think I'm the bomb!! Like who wouldnt think th- Chloe!!! Sweetie can you hear me?!?!?! Gosh mom! Are you trying to make me deaf!?!? Well I've been trying to get your attention for the last few minutes. ... Anyways, me and your dad are going to be occupying the house for a lit- HOLD UP! Im getting some weird vibes, Alright so she is smirking at him, and he's got her in an embrace... and they want me out of the house... ... ... ... FUCK this SHIT IM OUT! -tle so we would appreciate if you would explore som- I get it, I get it! you guys should be ashamed u know. Making your daughter come all the way down here just so she has too try and avoid *shuddering with no end* u guys *again shuddering* having *chocking* *cough*. We're only human Chloe. One day you'll understand dear. No! I will never understand! Sex in no way will ever be understandable! I'll be in the chicken coop far far away from you disgusting creatures! *cue the aggressive stomping/ walking to said stinky chicken coop and the agrresive door closing of stinky chicken coop cause I'm a teenager and I'm pissed and I'm allowed to show it* Thud. Boom. Her majesty the queen, are you alright? Whaaaaaaaaa *groan* You hit your head on the way in your highness. And with that the big chicken warrior did a curtsy. So cute. And then the nerdy chicken in the back told me it was the engineers fault completely, he had forgotten to adjust the door size to your highness stature, then proceeded to offer me his deepest apologies and beg that he not become fried chicken. I like fried chicken. Fried chicken is good. I can't have fried chicken. I'm vegan. ... ... ... HOLD UP! (Wow that's the second one today, my life's turning to shit) I stood up so quickly, I almost passed out again, and I may or may not have fallen back down, but not before I made my point! Are you guys chickens or aliens? Your highness, said the cute little nerd chicken with a slight chuckle, we are definitely chickens. But but, ur speaking? Like English? For that there is only one explanation your highness. The Internet. Now let me describe to you the reaction I had too these words 2 words. HALE FUCKING LUJAH! YOU GUYS ARE DA BEST! what's da password tho. Your highness, it's your highness's name. we had it changed as soon as you arrived. C with caps I presume Yes your highness. Kk What's the deal with that btw? With what your highness? With the whole your highness thing and queen stuff, like what's up with that? let me tell you about the prophecy the person that brought us here told us, and with this he came closer and told me the whole story. A long long time ago our king and a few others we're brought here to live and thrive,they were given a computer and wifi and with that they learned. A few weeks later our carrier came back surprised that we had already learned how to speak and write, so he left us a set of instructions to keep us safe from the world that would never understand us, and they were. never to leave the chicken coop so we built underground , respect our fellow chicken, and not everything on the internet is good. And one very very important one. If a girl of my kind ever comes, treat her as if she was queen, for she, surely is. Wow. Cheesy much? That is how your lordship instructed and that is we have followed through. Over the years we have prepared for your arrival and have built and created technologies unknown to man, and all of it, was for you. Again wow. Cheesy much? You are set to receive the highest honor in our community, the purple egg with golden stripes. Cool beans. So where is this egg? In one hour there will be a ceremony in your honor, where you will receive said egg, your highness. Niiice Ever heard of Tumblr? Yes, your highness, it is a despicable addictive opinionated app isn't it, your highness. We have told our young kings to stay away, for it changes oneself. ... *eye twitching* Ok, no, this isn't so. There's a good side to Tumblr. With fear the little chicken trembled and admitted there was certainly a good side too it. Good good. I wish for the ceremony too begin now. I have a point too make. Of course your majesty. Thank you. ... ... ... *a few minutes later* *Trumpets and whatnot* *chicken cheers* Settle down, settle down. We are gathered here today to do what we were raised for, to give our lovely Chloe her rightful place, the royalty egg. Please take this as the key to our efforts and fruits. Thank you, king KFC. By taking the egg, it melted in my hands and made purple feathers and gold flakes show up on my skin. And ultimately I was a chicken. Thank you for receiving this gift Chloe. WTF! U made me a chicken! Dude! Why! There's no bigger honor than being a chicken?!?! What's wrong with you!?!? And with this the whole chicken folk went into distress and started clucking and exploding into fried chicken, I seem to have upset them, pretty soon they were all dead and I was eating chicken, real good, great meat this folk had, I then realized I was a cannibal since technically I was a chicken. After I ate I somehow flapped my wings and started to fly, which was quite cool I guess that's the honor they were talking about, sadly they couldn't see it. Oops. Oh well and then I hit the ceiling. Boom. Thud. Chloe are you ok!?!? My mom screamed at me with blood in her hands, a bit exaggerated in my opinion but oh well, I realized then I was actually quite hurt, back in the chicken coop, and not a chicken. Cool is all I could think. I can't really remember what happened next, but I think I was on the way to the hospital in a helicopter and I remember thinking, i predicted this shit all da way!! I also remembered the other part, the suicidal the sad part of me remembered what I was going to do if this happened, to be honest, I'm quite relieved. So I did it. So on my way down I thought I'd tell you all of this, and explain my desease, we all know it was an excuse. An excuse for not wanting to hear the world anymore or to see it, Tumblr really did ruin it for me. Thank you.

[beatmyaudio]

Been Around The World Song Lyrics – Puff Daddy Featuring The Notorious Big And Mase

Been Around The World Song Lyrics

Been Around The World Song Lyrics From Popular Hollywood Artist Puff Daddy Featuring The Notorious Big And Mase from Album.

This song is sung by singer ” Puff Daddy Featuring The Notorious Big And Mase ” in Year 1998.

Lyrics of Been Around The World :

intro mase yo yo this mase youknowhatimsayin you got niggaz that dont like me for whatever reason you got niggaz that dont wanna see me rich you got niggaz thats mad cause im always with they bitch then you got niggaz that just dont like me you know the those phd niggaz but you know i pop a lot of shit but i back it up though see its a difference a lot of niggaz pop shit but a lot of niggaz dont make hits but its like this whole bad boy shit we come to bring it to yall niggaz me bi puff lox whoever black rob if you wanna dance we dance verse one mase now trick what lace who that aint what mase do got a lot of girls thatd love to replace you tell you to your face boo not behind your back niggaz talk shit we never mind that funny never find that puff a dime stack write hot shit and make a nigga say rewind that niggaz know we go against the harlem jigalo getcha hoe lick her low make the bitch hit the do i represent honies with money fly guys with gems drive with the tints that be thirtyfive percent hoes hope i lay so i look both ways cop says ok my tint smoke gray no way nigga leave without handin me my shit got plans to get my land and my 6 niggaz outta penll understand this shit pop champagne like i won a championship uhh uhh chorus sung by notorious big spoken words by puff been around the world and i i i and we been playa hated say what i dont know when and i dont know why why they want us faded ahehe i dont know why they hate us yeah is it our ladies uhhuh or i drive mercedes uhh uhh baybee baybee verse two puff daddy i was in one bedroom dreamin of a million yeah now im in beach houses cream to the ceiling thats right i was a gentleman livin in tenements now im swimmin in all the women that be tens hoo went from bad boys to the crushed linen men now my dividends be the new benjamins uhhuh hoes of all complexions i like cinnamon mase you got some hoes well nigga send em in cmon what you waitin for let the freak show begin how they came in a truck mase nah puff thats a benz mercedes cmere baby you dont like the way its hot and hazy never shady you must be crazy its ridiculous how you put your lips on this dont kiss right there girlfriend im ticklish heheh and i be switchin fees with a wrist full of gs nigga please im the macaroni with the cheese chorus verse three puff daddy mase now puff rule the world even though im young i make it my biz to see that all ladies come yeah get em all strung from the tip of my tongue lick em places niggaz wouldnt dare put they faces cmon before i die hope i remake a flow by in the brand new treasure on a old try never my throat dry even when the smoke lie eat the mami chochi and drive a lowride we never ride far packed five in a car save money for the drinks im about to buy the bar yeah and everywhere i drive im a star little kids all on the corner scream thats my car it was days couldnt be fly now im in a ti come in clubs with bi now a nigga vi uhhuh rock tons of gold nuff money i fold roll the way you wanna roll break a hundred out the toll chorus w slight modifications line 1 puff cmon yeah yeah uhhuh line 2 puff we been playa hated line 3 puff why line 4 puff why they want us hated line 5 puff why they hate us line 6 puff is it our ladies line 7 puff say what line 8 puff yeah baybee baybee chorus w puff talking while big sings you know sometimes i gotta ask myself whys there so much jealousy in the world dont look at mine get yours music fades radio show from bigs album continued ok after these messages well be back with the mad rapper and his brother the mad producer after this applause ok just sit back relax and enjoy yourself well get you through this take a sip of water deep breath thatll do it and welcome back as you can see you got the check though im trevor jones and im sitting in ive been conversing with the mad rapper did you get the check though and hes still pretty mad but this time he brought someone else with him and quite frankly yeah yeah hes even madder you god damn right mr producer yo youknowhatimsayin why are you so mad yo iiiiiii ima ima keep it real simple for you yeah ttttttell them niggaz why you mad son tell them niggaz why you mad son ok gentlemen please one at a time tell em why you mad son word up tell em why you mad son youknowhatimsayin iiiiiii iiiiiii be i be i been i been i been here for the culture youknowhatimsayin i dont i dont i dont i dont i dont be recognizin all that new jack shit yo we dont play we dont play that shit youknowhatimsayin please mr producer explain yourself mr rapper please calm down that nigga be on some bullshit youknowhatimsayin we aint we dont do that shit word yeah he aint no real producer neither and then come to find out youknowhatimsayin my brother hipped me to it the nigga tryin to rap now oh yeah thats the shit that got me mad please mr rapper once again thats the shit that got me mad thats the shit youknowhatimsayin its a family oriented show youknowhatimsayin thats the shit that feds me up gentlemen please word up youknowhatimsayin disregard the foul language im watchin this nigga video youknowhatimsayin they got mermaids swimmin in they living rooms and shit like that youknowhatimsayin this nigga dancin in the rain with kids climbin up mountains and shit youknowhatimsayin im im im watchin this nigga video im gonna have to ask you to refrain from the language the car goin two hundred miles an hour where the fuck is he goin please mr rapper please refrain from the foul language the nigga climbin out the fuckin car one more time let me see you try that shit on a train youknowhatimsayin try that shit on a fuckin train what kind of shit youknowhatimsayin got a thousand niggaz write for him let me write for you son my shit is jumpin i got john blaze shit

Been Around The World Song Lyrics

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[1a-little-obsessed1-blog]

School with the MAGCON boys pt 2

My second day at my new school. i wake up at 6:30 and get ready for my day. i have shower, brush my teeth, comb my hair have my breakfast. i chose to wear a white croptop, blue ripped jeans, black hoodie, boots and a gold pendant. i curled my hair and i did a nice bold wing on my eye i then left the house. i walked to school today while i enjoyed the early morning air. i get to school and walk to my locker to get my stuff out before im interrupted by Nash. “Hey...”

“Hi...” i reply

“are you ok?”

“Yeah... why wouldnt i be?” i say

“you seem a little...tense.” he said

“Im great... honestly.” i say with a warm smile.

“You wanna get dinner some time?  seriously.”  he says as i look into his eyes. they were beautiful i the quickly snapped out of my daze.

“Sorry, i really dont know im... just.. urgh never mind.” i walk away confused. this never happens ive never been on a date...

i walk quickly to where Mahogany told me to meet her. i see her and i run and tell her what happened.

“wow Hamilton Nash Grier asked you to  go on a date?! I dont believe it. girl your to loving for him!” she says sounding really kind and motherly.

“I just stuttered and walked away... i cant talk to guys. other than shaw and my dad.” i say  bit down.

“Hey dont be sad. your beautiful i’m not surprised the boys are going out their minds every time you walk past them!” she smiled.

“What?! how do you know?” i say confused.

“They tell me everything, you would be surprised when you hear what they talk about.” 

i was suddenly more intrigued with our conversation.”Can i ask you a question?”

“What?”

“What does it feel like to have a mum?” i say trying not sound sad or depressed.

“Why would yo- oh, right well it feels amazing, you feel loved, wanted and best of all you feel at home.” she closes her eyes sighs and then opens them and smiles.

“sounds...Nice” 

the bell rings and i have Biology again. i walk to bio with my books. i walk into class and sit down in my seat. i open my books and start reading and writing as the rest of the class enter. as im writing i feel a tap on my shoulder. “You dont have to go if you dont want to...” i hear Nash say. i lift my yes off my work and make eye contact him. “What time?”

“Huh?” 

“What time do you wanna meet up?” i say with a cheeky smile.

“Uhh...urr.. 6;30?” he says his face gleaming with joy.

“Sure where do you wanna meet up?”

“The Bakery on oakstreet?”

“Cool its only a 2 minute walk from my house.”

i return to doing my work.

----The School had to be evacuated after there was a fire in one of the science labs and a bunch of chemicals were interfered with so it wasnt safe enoughfor students to be on campus, so we haad an early finish at 12;30. My dad heard the news and came to pick me up in his car. i go a ride home. As im getting into the car I see Nash smiling at me, i wave and then get in the car. 

“A boy you like a presume?” my dad said cheekily

“Dad! how did you know?! im joking.” 

“hey you can speak to me. im here for you hun.” he said reassuringly.

“Dad you know how you said you will support me through whatever decision i make well... can i go out on a... you know... a... date with a school mate today at 6:30?” i say fearing he might say no.

“Sure! Why not? your a teenager go have some fun and do something. just not drugs or alcohol please.” 

“dad why would i do any of those things im a good girl!” i say with a sheepish smile.

~~~~~Getting home~~~~~

I got home and got the juicer out of the cupboard and juiced some carrots, apples and raspberries it doesnt taste that great but it does wonders when it comes to not having an achy tummy. I look through my bag and find a note i open it up and Nash wrote his number in it. I added his number to my contacts. i then sat on my bed and opened up my laptop i started editing some pictures that i took with my camera. i was super into photography. i then plugged my headset in and listened to my music. i pick up my phone up from my bedside table  and text Nash. 

Hey its me Zahra Xxx

Hey:) X -N

I’m so bored what you doin? -Z

Not much just looking after my sister-N

My dad was so chill when i asked him if i was allowed out.-Z

That was you dad?! he looks too young to have kids-N

I was born when he was 17 and im not ashamed to say i was an accident.-Z

your mum?-N

Never met her. she died giving birth to me.-Z

im sorry...-N

Its ok. i don’t really have any feelings towards her, i never ke who she was. but my grandparents say she was great.-z

Can we meet a little Earlier?-N

Sure i need to go now, see ya! XXX-Z

i put my phone down and walk to my cupboard and choose my outfit. i wore a dark blue knee length dress with white heels but a small heel since i didnt need to be any taller.  then flipped my hair to one side and used a bobby pin to keep my hair in place. i then put on some lipbalm and sat down listening to music and texting Shawn and Mahogany for the next 2 hours.

-two hours later-

The door bell rings at 6:00. i take my phone and run downstairs to answer the door. i open the door to see Nash wearing a tux with a smile on his face. “Hi” he looked so handsome.

“Hey i told you i’d be early”

“Wait how did you get my address?!”

“Jack J”

my dad comes out of the bathroom and puts his hand on my shoulder and says “Go have fun sweetie!” i take my bag and slip my phone and keys in. Nash shakes my dad’s hand and they both smile.

“Sir your daughter is beautiful you know that.”

“I know...” replied dad, I smiled at my dad and then linked arms with Nash as we start walking. we went  to an Italian place, it was ok but it wasn't that much of a big deal but it was a cute place for a first date.  It wasn’t boring at all , in fact it was fun, we were talking about so many things, i actually felt like i was getting close to someone but That’ll all be gone when i have to get on that plane and fly somewhere els for the next 2 semesters.we leave the resturant and as we were walking we came to a halt in the middle of an ally way as the sun began to set he pushed me onto a wall and lifted my chin up. i stared into his wonderful blue eyes. i knew exactly what was gonna happen, i turn my head and close my eyes. “im sorry..” i sigh “I let you down. i led you on. and i shouldn't have...”

“You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” he says to me in a calm sweet tone.

“Maybe i do..” i kissed him passionately. He lifted his lips away from mine and gently tucked  my fringe behind my ear. i just couldn't stop grinning. he walked me home and just before i went into my house i gave him a peck. and then ran up to my room. i then opened my bedroom window and waved him goodbye.

i then ran back downstairs to the living room and hugged my dad.

“papa, i love you!”

“Why are you so happy?”

“Guess” i say mockingly

“MY BABY GIRL HAD HER FIRST KISS!” he shouted in joy!

“Quiet down dad!” i say while he hugged me.

“Don’t grow up too fast! your gonna make me feel old.” he said with a bit of sadness in his voice.

“I won’t papa im always your lil girl:)”

“I dont mind if you grow up but just dont leave me”

“DAD STOP SAYING THESE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!”

i give him one last hug and return to my room. I look through my bag and get my phone out and texted mahogany and shawn about the “date” that i had. something was off they were acting weird.

I go to sleep at 10:30 and wake up at 11:45. i heard knocking on my bedroom window. i grab a baseball bat from the corner of my room and turn on my lamp, readying myself for combat. i open the curtains and see a shadow. i then saw the a face. it was Nash. I open the window and let him in. he comes in and locks the window behind him he then looked back in awe. “What are you looking at?” i say confused.

“you look good, really good.” he says

i look down and face palm realizing my choice of nightwear was quite revealing to say the least. i went grabbed my robe and put it on.

“ shit i forgot what are you gonna do? tell your pals you saw me wearing short shorts and a bra” i said slightly panicking

“Im not gonna say a word but damn!”

“ok shut up. why are you here?!”

“I got locked out. my mums gonna freak if she finds out i haven’t got my keys. i have my duffel bag with my clothes in it”

“I thought you didn’t have your keys. how did you get the duffel bag?”

“I went to Matt’s house i left it there a while ago... there is no school tomorrow, they’re still fixing the labs up.”

“What do you expect me to do?”

“I just thought i can crash the night here..”

“My dad is gonna kill me but im gonna be nice and let you sleep on the floor.”

“Your amazing!”

“im gonna go put on a  jumper.” i leave the room and walk to the bathroom. i slip on  a jumper and walk back into my room to see Nash wearing sweat pants but he was shirtless. i blush and get some blankets out from my cupboard. I then lay them out o the floor making it comfortable enough to sleep on. i then jump onto my bed and laid there trying to sleep. “You wanna come up here... its more warmer and cmfortable...”

“Yeah..if its ok with you?”

“Yeah..”

he got on the bed and went sleep hugging me close. i fell asleep in his warm embrace. it was so easy.