#like what if anakin forgot to tell ANYONE so the troopers are just seeing this random kid around

[captain-mozzarella]

I feel like Anakin would forget to tell Rex about Ashoka

[pretz3l-log1c]

I wish you would write a fic where Jango and Obi Wan are in a relashionship/married, and when Jango and Boba somehow run into the 212st (Jango got to keep his head idk how) it quickly becomes evident that they uh. Forgot to tell everyone? Hilarious confusion ensues.

I thought about how this could work and I’m thinking an AU where Jango escapes slavery and returns to Mandalore space to take back his title/place as Mand’alor and kill Tor Vizla. Things are still rough but getting better when Santine and Obiwan end up on the run. Jango finds them and offers what protection he and the True Mandalorians can provide, for a price. Jango wants an alliance with the New Mandalorians, with a political marriage to act as a preliminary sign of agreement.

Obiwan suggests Jango marry him instead to protect Santine/give implied Republican support of the True Mandalorian faction/make amends for Galidraan. No one is happy with this arrangement but that’s how they do it. Jango and Santine assure Obiwan that Mandalorian divorces are just as quick and easy as marriages. Jango and Obiwan fall in love during Obiwan’s time in Mandalore space. Jango pointedly ‘forgets’ to divorce Obiwan and Obiwan ‘forgets’ they’re married.

Obiwan maybe ‘forgets’ a little too well because he doesn’t tell anyone he’s married. The most the Jedi Order knows is that Obiwan basically has the Mand’alor’s blessing to wear beskar but isn’t sworn to the Resol’nare. Obiwan stays in touch with Jango and Santine and to the Order it looks like Obiwan made some politically powerful friends. True of Santine, not so much Jango.

Then the Naboo incident happens and by the time that’s all handled Obiwan receives word that Jango is officially missing, has been missing for some time actually, and Death Watch has re-emerged under the guidance of Pre Vizla. The only thing Pre has to say about Jango is laugh and that he’s sure the galaxy will be seeing his face again soon enough.

Years go by, most assume Jango is dead. Then Zam Wessel’s assassination attempts on Padmé lead Obiwan to chase Bounty Hunter Montross back to Kamino where he discovers a very much alive Jango, his unaltered clone-son Boba, and the millions of clone troopers wearing Jango’s face. Obiwan helps Jango escape with Boba before he chases Montross to Genosis. Montross loses his head to Mace and Obiwan is too caught up in war to track down Jango.

Which is why it’s very surprising that the troopers come across Jango and Boba. Obiwan would really like to know just what Jango is doing when Mandalore has been missing their Mand’alor for a decade and could use him. Especially with the clone troopers making tensions even worse.

And Jango refers to the clones as THEIR sons. About how he can’t turn his back on THEIR kids until he figures out what kind of Sith-trap went into their creation, they’re freed, and given a longer lifespan. Mandalore space can wait until his clan/house has been sorted and any Mandalorian that doesn’t understand that is an idiot. Obiwan is a bit exasperated because he is working on it, all the Order is working doing the best for THEIR kids. Obiwan knows Jango has trust issues with the Order and Republic but could he not give them the benefit of a doubt in this matter?

At which point Anakin and Ashoka are like “Excuse us, Obiwan. When did you adopt the Vode?”

Obiwan is all. “Why would I have to adopt them? They’re Jango’s sons, so they’re my sons. By the way, Jango this is my former padawan Anakin and my great padawan Ashoka.”

Jango makes a face. “I’m too young to be a grandfather. Wait, you adopted an ad? You adopted an ad and didn’t tell me?”

“You were missing!”

“Did you at least raise him according to the Resol’nare?”

“Of course I did. Bo-Katan was kind enough to supervise his coming of age test. Anakin’s the first Mandalorian Jedi in millennia.”

And it turns out Obiwan and Jango honestly forgot they were keeping their marriage a secret.

There’s fallout of course. In good and bad ways. And I would write this idea out but honestly I’ve already got plans for using some of these ideas in WIPs so you get this long post instead.

[ct7567329]

One Day: Fives x Reader

"Hey," you whispered, taking a seat next to your favorite ARC trooper. Things have been off lately in the 501st. Ahsoka's been gone for a while now and the boys are finally starting to pick up their momentum again. Losing their little sister wasn't easy for any of them. Today was one of the few days the 501st got a break. Just as you expected, Fives was awake before the break of dawn, waiting for the sun to rise over the Naboo country side. Having a day off on Naboo was a favorite among the boys, as it was much more laid back than Coruscant, though unfortunately, the break would soon be over and they would be shipped out later that morning.

Fives looked up at you, his legs dangling off a valley cliff facing westward. Seeing you brought a smile to his face, but he remained silent as you sat down next to him. The moment you hit the ground, your shoulder was met with his arm and the side of his head rested against yours. He closed his eyes a took a deep breath. For once, you sensed tranquility in him.

"I think we can end it," he finally spoke, his head still pressed against yours.

"End what?"

"The war. Ringo Vinda would be a huge step in the right direction and-"

You pushed your index finger against his mouth and softly shook your head, "Remember what I told you. We must take things as they come. If we shoot that high, it will only hurt if we don't achieve."

Fives closed his eyes and nodded, placing his head back where it was, "The last time I shot high, I ended up exceeding my goals," he chuckled, pressing a kiss into your cheek, "I wanted to go on a date with my General and now she's my girlfriend!"

You rolled your eyes and smiled, "Once again, the ARC outplays the Jedi."

Fives mumbled incoherently into your shoulder as his playfully pulled your body onto the ground, allowing you to lay on top of him. You hummed, letting him know you had no idea what he just said.

"Would shooting for making my general mine forever be too high of a shot?" He asked, tilting his head towards yours.

His beautiful honey brown eyes met yours and you shrugged at his question.

"I think it's worth the shot," he smiled, reaching down into his holster, "what do you say?"

You looked at him baffled for a moment before breaking eye contact and looking at the ring between his fingers. Quickly, you sat up and gasped, "Shut up."

"I'm being serious, (Y/N)."

"Fives," your voice cracked, a few tears beginning to well in your eyes. You couldn't get out any other words. You nodded rapidly at him, prompting your favorite smile. He slowly placed the ring on your finger.

"I know you always say day by day, but I don't want a day without you. Ever."

You held your hand up and admired the ring, wondering how he got enough money together for something so beautiful. The glow of the rising sun made the ring sparkle. "You did an amazing job with it," you smiled, your gaze still locked on the ring, "I just wish we could have an engagement-moon!"

Fives chuckled and puller you closer to him, "We'll get one. Someday."

You two spend the last moments of peace together watching the final minutes of the sunrise. Everything was perfect.

Before you knew it you were on a transport to Ringo Vinda with the men of the 501st. The Republic needed extra assistance on the planetary wide space station, so who else would they call besides the "elite" clone company. Fives took his helmet off and exhaled, giving you a soft grin. You looked around at the other men and noticed Tup frantically tapping his foot.

"Everything alright, Tup?" you asked, knowing damn well he wasn't one to be too on edge over a simple battle.

"Just jittery, sir," he quickly responded, diverting his attention away from you. You looked at Fives and shrugged.

The rest of the transport ride was spend sitting in a narrow hallway with the legion, sitting across from Fives. You both had your legs extended, pushing your feet together playfully.

"Ready boys?" Anakin asked as the ship landed on the top of the space station.

You winked at Fives, something you always do before a battle before hopping out of the ship.

In typical 501st fashion, you all had control of another command center soon after arrival. All in all, you were enjoying this battle. There were minimal casualties and you got to fight along side other legions and Jedi Generals.

You, Anakin, and the twin Generals, Tiplar and Tiplee, gathered in the center of the room to discuss the take over of the central command center. The plan seemed pretty straight foward, just a typical attack from all angles alone then together strategy. With all the different corridors though, this meant sperating the 501st into three groups.

"We could put Fives in command of the best troops in the legion. I'll take Appo and you can take Rex. It would be solid group split," you suggested, hating the fact that ultimately, for victory you needed to be separated from Fives for a braid moment.

"I agree," Anakin nodded, "Let's get to it. I'll let Fives know."

Putting the mission at hand in front of your attachment, you led your men towards the east corridor and began the task at hand.

"Oh maker," you mumbled as you reached central commend. Thousands of driods surrounded the Sepertist general.

"Where is everyone else?!" Appo yelled through his comlink, startling you.

As if it was on que, Anakin's and Fives' groups entered the hangar, pushing through the droids like knives through warm butter.

Appo led the men into the heat of battle as you fought your way towards Fives.

"Has any one ever told you that you're the most fantastic ARC this army's ever seen?" You smiled, deflecting blasts away from Fives.

"Well," he dodged a blast and shot down a droid, "this gorgeous Jedi tells me that all the time."

An explosion stopped you before you could respond. "I'm gonna go help them," you groaned, rushing away from Fives' side. On your way to aid the struggling men, you noticed Tup standing in the middle of the battle field, frozen. "C'mon Tup!" You yelled as you ran past him.

Fives turned his head to your direction to make sure you made it to the other side safely when he saw the unthinkable. "Tup!" he screamed as he watched his brother shoot down General Tiplar, then point his blaster towards you. "Tup, stop" he screamed louder, lunging towards him as he managed to get one blast right into your shoulder.

You muttered an explicit then turned around, seeing Fives laying on top of Tup and not too far away, Tiplar's body.

"What the kriff?!" you spit through your teeth with venom, wincing at the pain in your shoulder.

Before you could get an explanation on what happened, Anakin commanded retreat and everyone fell back into that command room you gained control of previously.

After settling Tup with Kix and Rex, Fives rushed to your side and knelt down next to the step you were sitting on, "Are you okay?"

"You were in charge of him, Fives!" you whined moving your body slowly away from his.

Fives glanced up to make sure there wasn't anyone near you, "Cyare, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. You're not in too much pain, right?"

You shook your head,  "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay and just as confused as you are," he placed his hands on your thigh and tapped, "He's a good friend of both of us. We'll figure this out." He got up and went back over to Fives to check on Tup.  You grinned as you watched him walk away. Every time you see him in his full ARC armor, you notice he walks with more confidence, which you find beyond attractive. Once he was out of your line of sight, you closed your eyes to do some quick meditation, thinking maybe the force could guide you through Tup.

Internal Conflict, huh, you thought to your self, wondering what could have caused it. Without thinking, you walked up to the room where Tup was being held.

"Tup, has everything been al-"

You were cut off by Tup lunging at you, yelling inaudibly. Fives quickly sprung between you and Tup to protect you and pushed Tup onto the ground. Your lover turned around, with worry in his eyes. Still shocked with what happened, you retreated back into the command room, asking for Kix to come with.

"You need to bring him to the Jedi Council," you explained to Kix, "unless you can find something that's wrong."

Kix scrunched his forehead, "I'm not sure General. They don't train you for something like this. Maybe a trip to Kamino might be a better idea. Besides, they know clone anatomy better than anyone."

"That works, but (Y/N), we need to get you to the Jedi Council," Anakin butted in. He stopped you before you could give a reason not to, "We can't let that get infected."

"I am just as much as general here as you are!"

"The 501st is going to be on leave after this battle. You won't be without us long!" Fives chimed in, giving  you a wink, "what boys? We have maybe two more rotations left  on this piece of junk!"

After enough begging, you finally complied...until you noticed Appo was escorting you to your ship. "I thought Fives was escorting me back to Coruscant," you noted, stopping in your tracks.

"I'm sorry, General. But Fives was ordered to return to Kamino with Tup."

You pressed your lips together, "Oh! Well I forgot to give him his blaster back! I'll be right back!"

Appo looked at you confused, "General, what blaster?"

"Yes," you nodded, rushing back to the command room. You made you way to Fives and  pulled him out of the room, trying to keep your action on the down low.

"I know, I know. I wanted to escort you but-" you cut him off with a kiss, moving your hands up the back of his head and softly tugging at his hair. His hands rested on your hips, pulling you closer to him. You pulled back slightly.

"Please stay safe," you murmured, giving him a gentle kiss.

He trailed his kisses across your cheek and stopped at your ear and whispered, "Anything for you cyare."

You pulled him in for a passionate hug, "I need to get going."

"Hey, you need to be safe too. That was a pretty damn good kiss, better not be the last!"

"Fives," you sighed, "Don't say that."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

As you walked away to the ship, you glanced back at Fives, assuring yourself that it would be okay. Right now, the only thing you wanted was for your arm to heal for you could get back to the battlefield with Fives. But in that moment, the best thing you could look forward too is sleeping in your Jedi Temple quarters again.

The next morning, you woke up and immediately looked at your holopad, hoping to see a new message from Fives. Nothing. Only a message from Jesse, asking if you would like to join the boys at 79's that night.

"Guess Ringo Vinda ended sooner than I thought," you thought to yourself, getting ready for the day.

Once nightfall hit, you began to get ready for a night of fun. As you put the finishing touches on your makeup, there was a knock of panic on your quarters door. It was Anakin.

"Have you heard from Fives?!" He said in a rush, bursting into your room with Rex.

You gave them a confused look, "I actually haven't. Figured he was exhausted from the mission.  Is everything alright?"

Anakin stopped, "You haven't heard anything?"

"Guys, what's going on?" You asked, concern in your voice.

"Sit down," Anakin sighed sitting on the edge of your bed, "look, Rex and I know about you and Fives. We think you can help."

"Help with what?"

Anakin and Rex looked at each other, then at you, "Fives tried to kill the chancellor and he's on the run. We think maybe you can talk to him."

You looked at them in shock, "you can't be right."

~

"She was supposed to be here already," Jesse noted, taking another sip of his drink.

"I'm okay with that. Gives us more time to think of what we are going to tell her," Kix replied, "besides, she won't believe us."

Jesse chuckled, "that would be a first."

"Anyway, I'm going to head to the 'fresher. I don't care if she has the hots for Fives, I still need to look presentable in front of her!"

"Keep dreaming," Jesse snorted, taking another sip of his drink.

Kix rolled his eyes and made his way to the refresher.  Just as he began to check for any imperfections, the door opened.

"Looks like the 501st is back on Coruscant," the clone said, approaching.

"Yeah, the craziest thing happened on Ringo Vinda," Kix responded, turning to face to clone.

"I know," he mumbled, taking off his hat, revealing his identity.

"Fives?!"

~

"I'm so sorry Kix," you sighed, "I was almost ready to go but something came up with Fives and i-"

"I know. I'm sending over coordinates right now.  He wants you to meet him there," Kix informed you, sending over the coordinates.

"Thank you Kix," you softly smiled into the comlink after turning it off. You turned to head out of the crowded bar but stopped, looking back at Kix. He looked at you with sympathy, yet you could sense his hurt. Fives was hurting, hurting enough to effect his closest brothers.

"Good luck," he mouthed out before motioning you off.

You gave him a half assed smile and took off, desperate to find your lover. On the way to the coordinates, your mind was blank. Not a single thought racing. That was the only way you could get through this confusing nightmare.

The coordinates weren't anything much. Just an old abandoned hangar in the lower levels. With some hesitation, you leaped off your speeder and entered the hangar. Though you couldn't see him, you sensed his presence.

"Fives?" You called out, slowly making your way deeper into the hanger.

"Oh cyare," he sighed behind you, throwing his body into yours. He deepened the embrace and nuzzled his head into your neck, "please believe me."

"Of course I trust you, love," you whispered, running your fingers down his spine. You frowned slightly at the sight of his missing hair. There had to be a story behind it, but you didn't want to probe. Becides, hair grows back. "Fives, what happened?"

He struggled to get words out without weeping, "can we go find some cheap motel to lay down and talk. I just want to hold you close, lay under blankets and explain everything. I'd feel safer there, I'd-"

You pressed two fingers against his lips, "anything you need, we'll make it happen. I promi-"

"FIVES! Let her go!" Screamed Anakin from across the room, Rex accompanying him.

Anakin used the force to rip you out of Fives' arms and towards him. "Fives, how can we trust you alone with her after what you did."

"Anakin!" You yelled, slapping his hand and rushing towards Fives. Anakin couldn't let that happen. He scrambled to the closest control panel and activated a ray shield, making it impossible to reach Fives. "Fives, explain yourself." Anakin demanded, getting a look of rage from you.

"There's a big plan!" Fives began to rant, "A plan to kill the Jedi! It's in the mind of every clone! The chancellor told me. This is bigger than anyone could imagine. You've got to believe me!"

"Fives, why try to assassinate the chancellor?" Anakin asked as calm as possible, ignoring your attempts to break free of the ray sheild.

Before he could explain himself, Commander Fox and his battalion barged into the hangar, weapons drawn. "Surrender Fives!" Fox yelled, getting closer to Fives.

"No no no!" Fives screamed, holding up the pistol he managed to sneak off your belt while he was hugging you.

"FIVES PUT IT DOWN!" You yelled at the top of your lungs, fearing the worst.

Fives looked at you, then back at Fox, then back at you, but it was too late. As his eyes made contact with you again, a single shot went straight into his chest. The pistol dropped to the floor, and not long after Fives.

You screamed his name in agony as Rex and Anakin rushed to his side. Rex cradled Fives as you watched in horror behind the ray shield.

"Get her out of there," Anakin commanded to Fox.

As Fox shot your ray shield down, Fives looked up at Rex, gasping for air, but managed to get out, "Take care of her for me. Please."

The second you were free from the shield, you ran to your lovers limp body. Rex quickly handed him over to you. Tears trickled from your face as you began to stroke his cheek.

"Fives, Fives, listen to me," you struggled to get out. "Hang in there, you're going to be okay. We're going to be okay." You held up your hand with the engagement ring. "See, we're going to have our someday, together. And that someday is super soon and, and, and." You kept rapid firing anything you think could spark live in him, but you knew he was too far gone. You watched a few tears slowly make their way down his face.

With every last bit of energy he had left in him, he softy squeezed your hand, "I love you." he whispered, before fading away.

"No. No. No. Fives Fives," you gasped, shaking his body, "no no don't leave me don't leave me."

"(Y/N)," Anakin sighed behind you.

You closed your eyes, rested your head on your lovers dead chest, and began to bawl in true pain.

Rex took a knee besides you and slowing began to rub your back, making sure he does everything he can to fulfill the promise he made his best friend.

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[cjstalkingstarwarsagain]

hi! i’ve recently decided to rewatch all the star wars movies and take notes on them and then,,, share them with you. so if you’re even mildly interested in my star wars opinions, here you go :)

i’ll divide it into a couple categories so,,,

well start with rogue one!!

shit that made me giggle

"oh look, here’s lyra back from the dead. it’s a miracle."

everything K2 says and does. i love him and he’s perfect.

i love the continuous attempts by K2 to appear imperial and how he fails every time. not a single storm trooper or officer ever believes him when he starts running his mouth.

so sorry but bohdi getting his cable caught and trying to shake it loose is such an adorably human moment. makes me giggle every time.

i honestly thought this section would be longer, this movie made me laugh a bunch. 

stuff i don’t like or doesn’t make sense

why does jyn start believing in the rebellion? there’s no indication that she cared before they found her. there’s no real turning point that we can see. she just,,, suddenly is really into this shit. which is strange because the only reason she ever joined was because she was given a non-choice (either help or get put back in prison). i guess i can kinda see how her father dying could have changed her, but we see none of that on the ship after his death. we just get to the rebel council and all of a sudden she’s the poster girl for rebellion.

saw seems really stable at the beginning of the film, so why did he go seemingly crazy and paranoid? it’s probably explained in the novelization but that’s no excuse to just have a character go crazy with really no explanation or backstory.

that being said, a lot of the character development is pretty lacking. i don’t think i’d care about these characters nearly as much if i wasn’t already a star wars fan.

video game cut scene style general tarkin

bor gullet is supposed to make you lose your mind but bohdi was pretty much fine after like,,, a day

how does the death star,,,, move?? like i know it can but has that ever been explained? is it like little thrusters? like the ones you can see in real life to stabilize things in space? there’s nothing i can visually see. i’m not mad about it i just wanna know.

why does saw insist on staying behind? why doesn’t he come and help?? it would have been so easy to just leave but he insists on staying behind and just watching as death inches closer. i think it doesn’t make sense because we know *so little* about his character. give me more on him, make me understand.

since james earl jones is getting older, vader sounds older. was there??? nothing the audio or editing department could have done about that??? not super mad about this one just because darth vader is really cool and i’ll never really complain too much about darth vader screen time.

when the fuck did jyn become a motivational speaker??

my one gripe about pretty much every star wars movie is the sheer number of times people climb through huge shafts and jump around and shit and they’re always *fine*. no way they wouldn’t fall to their deaths in any normal situations.

can someone?? check the science of the hammerhead corvette?? because there’s no gravity or weight in space right?? theoretically all you gotta do is give that star destroyer a bump and it’s spinning out, right?? i know absolutely nothing about space physics but i gotta be right. maybe i’m wrong. i dunno. i’m dumb as rocks. hear that baby girl?? it’s the spare change rattling around in my skull. i got pennies where my brain is.

absolutely no fucking shot cassian survived a blaster hit AND that fall AND climbed out. my belief simply cannot be suspended that much.

DUDE I FORGOT THAT THE DEATH STAR CAN TRAVEL THROUGH HYPERSPACE HOW DOES WORK SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!!

why doesn’t vader just,,, force grab the plans. i know he sees them. why not just force stop the guy running away with them??

final note now that the movie is over. yes, it’s got a lot of issues. the plot is ehhh at times. the trailers don’t match up with the movie shots AT ALL (i wanna know what happened behind the scenes with that). the character development is lacking in many major ways (that has not stopped me from loving these characters though, but that’s the autism talking). but like i’ll say in the "stuff i liked" section, this is such a damn cool movie. i was once talking about it with an older friend of mine and he said seeing rogue one in theaters felt like watching the original trilogy in theaters back in the 70s and 80s and honestly that’s such a compliment. i love this movie, i really do.

just cool shit,,, you know the vibe

DEATH TROOPERS

krennic is probably one of my favorite imperial officers. for some reason he just really sells it for me, the evil and manipulation that borderlines in try hard. and (i mention it more later because you see it more in the "choke on your aspirations" scene) beyond that just the fact that he’s?? a guy. just a dude. at any given moment he could be described as just hanging out. but he’s trying so hard (for whatever reason, we don’t know his evil motivations) to be this big bad evil dude. and it’s just interesting to see someone *trying* to be imperial and *trying* to be evil, as opposed to a tarkin-type character who’s just naturally an asshole.

i love the rogue one main theme. don’t even talk to me. it’s so cool.

it’s cool to see more about the birth of the death star, seeing other people learn about it. sort of realizing the fear and terror that everyone must have been experiencing. especially after being a star wars fan for so long and being like, yeah it’s the death star it’s just a staple of this universe. it reminds me that "oh god this was a planet killer and this was the first time something like that had ever even been heard of".

there’s gorgeous visuals in this movie.

i like the "i’m wanted in 12 systems" guy cameo (did you know his name is cornelius? i googled it)

when the storm trooper asks for papers?? like fuck yeah show me what life is like under imperial rule. give me that shit.

chirrut is so badass i’ll never get over it

"i’m one with the force and the force is with me" i’m eating that shit UP! salivating over the meal in front of me. i really want more exploration of the guardians and jedi worship in general. like gimme that weird funky space religion.

seeing an at-st just walk around a town. i dunno i like that shit.

K2 saying sorry for hitting cassian. i’m so soft on this robot.

"clear of hostiles,,,, ONE HOSTILE"

jyn stepping in front of K2 to protect him after she (not ten minutes ago) made the comment “i’m just afraid they’ll miss you and hit me”. jyn,,, your soft side is showing,,,,

i like the cool machine blaster that baze has. it’s awesome seeing different blaster styles when originally the only variation we really saw was chewie’s cross bow style blaster.

i really wanna see more of baze and cirruit. i wanna know what happened that made baze stop believing. i wanna know how they met. i wanna see them evolve and grow together.

i like that jyn argues that 16 is too young to be a solider (she’s 21 in the movie). i like that she’s mad that she’s young and has been put in a position to protect herself and then later save the galaxy. (for context: luke and leia were 19 in a new hope. anakin is 19 in attack of the clones, ~22 when he became darth vader, and rey is 19 in force awakens. stop putting the fate of the galaxy in the hands of people who are *barely* adults)

the testing of the death star is awesome. love seeing wicked cool space weapons. when it blocks out the sun? ominous as hell fuck yeah.

it’s interesting that baze says cassian doesn’t look like a killer, that "he has the face of a friend", when one of the first things we saw him do was kill a man. i think about that a lot. does that say more about baze’s ability to read people or does it say more about who cassian is deep down, beyond what he’s done to serve the rebellion?

cassian’s relationship with death and killing is very interesting. you could argue that cassian is just as brainwashed and deep in the rebellion as anyone imperial. i really hope it’s something that gets explored in his stand alone show. he mentions he’s lost everything and has been a rebel since he was 6. gimme cassian andor backstory.

"careful not to choke on your aspirations director" is probably some of the most dramatic-anakin-skywalker shit i’ve ever seen vader do

i like seeing rebel infighting. so often it seems there’s always general consensus about what the rebellion wants, but it’s good to see that they don’t always agree on how to rebel.

i love the consistent "found family" rebel alliance shit in these movies. it makes my dick so hard.

ARTOO AND THREEPIO CAMEO FUCK ME UP THOSE ARE MY BOYS

okay i totally get that the empire is evil, i really do, but rogue one (and lots of moments in the sequels) really reminds me how fucking cool some of their shit is. like death troopers? imperial droids like K2? the base on scarif? vader’s castle on mustafar and his bacta tank?? fuck me UP.

i loved hearing the troopers doing their dumb small talk about the T-15s on the beach.

i think ben mendelssohn is perfect for the role of krennic, no notes there. he’s just like?? a guy and he’s doing everything he can to fit into this evil role and he just wants to be like this big bad imperial boy on campus. i don’t know. i don’t have the words right now to express how fuckin awesome he is. i’ll write an essay about it later.

THE AT-AT COMING OUT OF THE MIST?? CHRIST ON A BIKE. LAY ME TO REST. LOVE IT.

fucking love me some female fighter pilots. the women of star wars are so badass. doing justice to my return of the jedi ladies.

i think a whole lot about jyn giving K2 a blaster. the way he takes it and looks at it and holds it so gently. i think that’s the first time a human has trusted him with a blaster since his reprogramming. he seems so appreciative of that trust.

i love seeing the faces of baze and the other rebels when a few of the x-wings show up and take down an at-at. i’m so very soft for the relationship between these rebels. not to be cliche, but the *hope* that they have. it’s so moving. this movie is just so full of that quintessential rebel feeling.

hey so i’m super emotional about the death of K2 okay? because in the novelizations you learn that in the last second k2 had before a full shut down, he ran a simulation where cassian lived and even though he knew it was impossible, it made him happy. FURTHERMORE K2 is very well known and his name is often listed along side jyn’s in terms of talking about the history of the rebellion.

chirrut and baze’s deaths are so important to me. we know they’re best friends, and even though we don’t know how long they’ve been together, they love each other so deeply. chirrut being the path for baze to return to the force? touching. i so wish these dumb force husbands could have had more screen time. baze calling chirrut back?? chirrut telling him to find him in the force?? baze looking to see the man he loves one more time before he dies??reminds me of the silken quote about dying in your best friends arms because it’s all you know. anywho,,, if star wars canon has any mercy then these two lovers are force ghosts together rn. don’t care how you feel or whether you "ship" them or not. love comes in so many forms and they encompass all that love.

terribly sorry but i think about those two star destroyers colliding with the rogue one main theme playing over it every day. it’s,,,,, so,,,, ( ´∀｀)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again BEN MENDELSSOHN??? UH YEAH

krennic watching his weapon (his beautiful, successful weapon) power up and kill him,,, the poetic justice of it all,,,,

any time anyone says "may the force be with you" i dunno maybe it’s my religious trauma but i’m head over heels for that good shit

the star destroyer coming out of hyper space as the rebels are escaping and some of the ships hit the destroyer?? one of my favorite things in the new star wars movies is directors and writers saying "oh this can totally happen" and they DO IT

jyn mentioning earlier in the film that she isn’t used to people sticking around when shit hits the fan and then dying in the arms of cassian?? because he stayed?? and for the first time she has someone??

in that same vein: cassian also says earlier in the film that he lost everything too. his connection with jyn is also important to him, just as important as it is to jyn. they need each other. i can’t remember who on this hellsite said it, but someone mentioned that they hope the stand alone cassian stuff coming out doesn’t make him this swindling playboy who fucks around a bunch. i think having him as more of like?? a mandolorian type character would be really cool. like he’s a rebel assassin: make him one. make him independent and badass and cool and DONT give him a bunch of romantic or sexual interests because then that downplays the clear love he had developing for jyn. again LOVE COMES IN FORMS BEYOND BASIC SHIPS. and there’s a lot of love in star wars.

i’ve said it a million times but vader is so cool and over and over again this movie reminded me that he’s actually so scary. i saw star wars for the first time when i was 6 and i can’t remember my initial reaction to him, but i’ve definitely (like with the death star) been desensitized to the fact that if i was in star wars, darth vader would scare the shit out of me. he’s *scary* and that’s cool. i liked seeing vader effortlessly go fucking mad on these rebels. then you understand why they were so scared in that first scene of a new hope.

no i absolutely will not get over the vader scene. i won’t. his saber turning on. his force abilities. his effortless lightsaber work. the choral music over the scene with the hectic orchestra. don’t touch me i’m emotional.

i loved seeing leia. it touches me so deeply every time.

fuck i love this movie despite all its faults.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you!! i hope you enjoyed. please remember that this is totally a safe space for all star wars opinions and you can feel free to disagree with me! i’d love to hear what some of you thought :))

[wolffesimp]

Beach Shenanigans

--

summary: the war was won. order 66 was never executed. the 501st, 212th, and 104th battalions along with y/n, obi wan keniobi, ahsoka, anakin, and padmé enjoyed their much needed island vacation. what ensues is beach shenanigans and MORE! stick around for a day full of laughs, crying, tanning, and swimming! 2.3k words of my imagination and clone happiness!

warnings: OH MY GOD SO MANY SHENANIGANS I SHOULD GET PAID FOR THESE ORIGINAL FUCKING IDEAS!!!!!!!!! alcohol is consumed. some mature themes. nothing explicit uhhh lots of fluff and cusswords cuz they make my writing ✨spicy✨yeah that’s pretty much it :)

--

--

y/n was unceremoniously awoken by rex

who was the devoutly loyal boyfriend

for him, she would fight a million more wars

“mornin princess. up and at em!”

“don’t wanna get out of bed...”

just then, there was a knock on the door

before anyone could announce come in

the door was busted down by a very enthusiastic battalion

namely, the 501st

y/n gaped at them

fives and echo held buckets and shovels for a sandcastle

smiles bigger than the deathstar 

jesse’s nose was white from the sunscreen that kix insisted he put on

tup’s naturally curly hair was finally down, a lei adorning his neck

dogma and hardcase had pool noddles in hand

meanwhile fives held a gigantic inner tube

kix had big sunglasses on, fresh glass of orange juice in hand

y/n could only stare for a few minutes

they all began to speak in sync

incredibly excited to finally dip their toes in the water and run on the beach

she laughed at them “suppose i should get out of bed!”

rex laughed with her, shaking his head at the antics of his brothers

standing up and shooing the boys out of her room, he made sure to close the door behind him

oh rex, he was too considerate for his own good

y/n slipped on her favorite swimsuit

along with one of obi wan’s t-shirts

grabbing her beach bag and slipping on her flip flops

she was out of her room

the clones were waiting impatiently downstairs

practically itching with excitement

y/n reached the landing, sliding on her favorite sunglasses

“hey guys! ready to go-“

fives picked her up into her arms, sprinting out of the house

“first one at the beach wins!”

the clones chased after the two

y/n squealed as fives held tightly onto her

“don’t worry y/n, i’m not gonna drop ya.”

“i know but rex is hot on our tail!”

fives panted

“like hell i’m gonna let him win!”

y/n giggled as rex fell behind

“hey rexie, suck my toe!”

“watch your mouth, y/n!”

she stuck her tongue out in response

rex chuckled at the antics of his girl

obi wan, cody, anakin, and padmé were far behind them

probably too mature to participate in such activities

let’s be honest if padmé wasn’t there anakin would be running too

ahsoka ran beside rex, smirking

“rex and i are gonna beat you!”

y/n finally saw the beach at the end of the boardwalk which they were running down

“c’mon fives! we have to win!”

he smirked down at her

“you know we never loose!”

fives cheered as they were the first one to reach the beach

setting down y/n, they waited for the others to catch up

in a frenzy, the clones ran to the ocean

ahsoka and y/n giggled at their faces of pure joy

“hey, wanna share this umbrella and mat i brought?”

ahsoka turned to y/n, smiling contently

“that sounds great!”

the two girls set up their camp for the day

towels beside each other

books, sunscreen, water bottles and everything in between 

y/n also brought out the extra towels she had

setting them by obi wan and cody

“for the clones who forgot their own”

obi wan was distracted by the clones in the ocean

“do they know how to...swim?”

cody and y/n stared at each other

“oh-”

“shit!”

y/n ran towards the clones

“PAUSE! PAUSE! PAUSE! EVERYONE OUT OF THE OCEAN! NO ONE IS DROWNING ON MAMA Y/N’S WATCH! JESSE, DON’T YOU HIDE, GET OUTTA THERE!” 

cody knew it was taken care of

he sat back down, basking in the sun

obi wan laughed heartily as y/n shouted at the clones

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME Y’ALL COULDN’T SWIM!! SWEET MAKER!!!! ONE OF YOU COULD’VE DROWNED!”

“kix would’ve saved us!”

“THERE’S ONLY ONE KIX, YOU IDIOTS!”

ahsoka giggled

y/n took off her shirt “hold this for me, sokie! lifeguard y/n’s on duty”

the boys catcalled y/n teasingly

“oooh yeah y/n!” ahsoka called out, hyping her older sister up 

the boys earning icy glares from rex

she kissed his cheek

making it clear that there was no need for jealousy

y/n waded into the ocean

motioning for them to follow behind her

“now...is anyone feeling nervous?”

well as it turns out...

the clones loved swimming

they all easily caught on

even becoming faster than y/n

much to her dismay

y/n and ahsoka playfully splashed each other

giggling as other clones joined in

cody and obi wan decided to join in on the fun

and when someone splashed cody it went quiet

y/n glared at fives

she knew it was him

fives whistled

looking around as if to say

“who? me?”

cody full force splashed fives back

next thing she knew a splashing war broke out

the 501st, ahsoka, and y/n went up against the 212th, obi wan and 104th 

boil and waxer were head to head with echo and fives

y/n and ahsoka combatted obi wan and cody

it seemed like no one was backing down 

until someone got kicked in the leg

practically drowning

mfs are genetically modified

getting kicked by them would probably seriously injure me i mean jesus christ

“dammit! this is why the 501st can’t have nice things!” rex cursed

tup was weak in the knees

but mama y/n was there to wrap him up in a towel

careful to dry his curly hair

setting him up comfortably

“we’re having lunch soon, so stay put for now, alright hun? make sure to hydrate!”

“thank you, y/n.”

“mhm!”

she took rex’s hand

dragging him back into the ocean

“tup will be fine! hey fives and sokie, let’s play chicken!”

explaining the game rules, y/n perched herself on rex’s broad shoulders

ahsoka was on fives shoulders

smirking at her opponent

“this’ll be fun!”

y/n and ahsoka’s arms collided

their laughs filled the air as they attempted to fight each other off

meanwhile rex clung to y/n’s thighs

making sure his princess didn’t fall into the water

fives attempted to kick his captain

only to earn a snarl and forceful blow to the chest

fives was knocked into the water

sending ahsoka flying 

y/n wheezed 

“holy shit!” rex remarked

quickly recovering her senses, concern taking over

“wait- AHSOKA! FIVES! ARE YOU GUYS OK?”

fives’ thumbs up shot out from the water

ahsoka’s montrals emerging from the blue sea

rex laughed pityingly at fives and ahsoka

“round two?”

well, there ended up being 10 rounds

all four of them were soaking wet by the end 

breathless and ready for a break

rex carried y/n as per request

she could be a little shit sometimes

rex secretly loved it 

ahsoka and y/n made room for fives, rex, and a few other troopers

“hey ahsoka, where are anakin and padmé?”

they looked around curiously

the place where they once resided were empty

“they are probably...ya know...”

y/n made crude gestures eluding to sex

ahsoka cringed, throwing a tube of sunscreen at y/n

“gross!”

rex put his head in y/n’s lap

her hand ran through his blonde curls 

which had been growing out since the end of the war

well maintained by y/n

who insisted on doing his hair

“oh get a room!” ahsoka teased

“we can always make out in front of you guys” 

“ewww”

“please don’t”

“i would rather not see my mother figure do that”

y/n and rex laughed

they were so beautiful together

it was clear that they would spend the rest of their lives with each other

as the day drags on, y/n falls asleep blissfully on her towel

luckily rex helped her with an umbrella so she wouldn’t get sun burnt 

the boys shenanigans continued on without her

fives and echo built a sandcastle the size of a shed

rex, cody, wolffe, and obi wan enjoyed margaritas beside the sleeping y/n

while ahsoka had a virgin piña colada

jesse was buried alive by dogma, tup, kix, and hardcase 

a few of the members of the 104th were flirting with a group of twi’lek girls 

flexing their muscles and battlescars

the remainder swimming in the ocean

the 212th were playing a competitive game of frisbee with island locals

fives and echo decided they were done with their sandcastle 

ushering the generals and jedi to check it out

they didn’t want to admit it, but they were very impressed with their work

y/n was still sleeping

fives was bored

so he took his bucket

washed out the sand

then refilled it with clean water

while echo was talking with the generals and jedi

unintentionally distracting them from the scene that was about to play out 

fives chuckled devilishly

pouring the water onto y/n

she screamed as the cold water hit her face and chest

eyes opening to an entertained fives

until he saw the look in her eyes

fives was so dead

instead of facing death in its face

he took off running, screaming to anyone who would listen 

“Y/N’S GONNA KILL ME!”

“HELP! ANYONE!”

“PLEASE HELP ME!”

*violent screams*

y/n was in hot pursuit of the dumbass himself 

running shockingly fast

not even breaking a sweat

rex cheered her on

having no idea what happened

but wanting to be a supportive boyfriend 

fives looked helplessly at anyone 

having nowhere to run 

y/n stopped running

finding an innocent sea creature on the ground 

“hi lil crab...you are gonna help me out here”

fives continued running as far away as possible from her

the crab settled in her palm

calmed by the aura y/n generated from the force

“fives! stop running! i’m done with your ass!”

fives was panting

knelt over

hot in the face

“i am so not sorry for what i’m about to do”

“wait wha-”

y/n shielded her eyes away as she dropped the crab into his swim trunks 

fives let out an ear piercing scream 

“WHAT IS IT IN MY SHORTS?!! ITS CRAWLING UP MY ASS!!!”

y/n was completely incoherent 

laughing so hard with tears come to her eyes

“IT’S PINCHING ME! OH IT HURTS! OHHHH MY ASS CHEEKS”

y/n couldn’t breathe 

knees buckling as she fell onto the sand 

obi wan and cody were extremely panicked

what the hell is wrong with fives?

obi wan approached him 

fives was jumping up and down

running in circles

looking like a complete madman

“fives what are you doing?”

“CRAB IN MY SHORTS”

“how is there a crab in your shorts?”

“GET IT OUT! IT’S IN MY ASS-”

wolffe was flabergasted 

“what?”

rex crossed his arms

already knowing who the culprit was

“y/n?” 

she staggered over to him

leaning into his chest as she wheezed

“shit- imma...imma pee my pants!! oh fucking hell if i would’ve known this-”

obi wan glared at her

fives screamed once again

“I HAVE TO DO IT!”

“do what?”

all of the 501st instantly knew what he meant

“fives don’t-”

“wait wait wait-”

“i swear to maker-”

“if he does it-”

fives dropped his shorts

revealing his ass and the rest of the land down under

y/n screeched

she saw something she could never un-see

the beach went silent

oh my god

fives just flashed the  e n t i r e  public area

echo looked embarrassed for his vod

but the relief on fives face...

the crab was promptly thrown across the beach

fives quickly pulled up his shorts

praying to god that nobody saw 

they did

“give us a warning next time, fives!” cody said judgementally

obi wan couldn’t even look at him

y/n hid her head in rex’s chest

“i want to go blind”

rex chuckled, playing with her hair sympathetically 

“i know i’m big, y/n!” fives called out teasingly

well someone recovered quickly 

“FIVES!” tup lectured

hardcase and jesse chuckled

meanwhile kix and dogma looked apologetically at y/n

“i can’t believe you...” she muttered to no one in particular 

the rest of the day went swimmingly

filled with even more laughs

a million holophotos 

is that what you call them??

followed by the envious photos from mace windu, plo koon, and kit fisto

they were definitley coming next time

ahsoka tried her first ever drink

don’t worry, only y/n saw! 

and ahsoka was above the drinking age on the planet they were in!

who else would permit her to do it?

besides, she had a theory ahsoka wouldn’t like alcohol

the theory was proven to be true

ahsoka spat it out

giving it back to y/n 

shortly after

y/n and ahsoka baked cookies for the boys

while rex, cody, and wolffe grilled out

wolffe was the real pro

even having an apron that said

“kiss the grill dad”

comet and sinker found it on some sketchy website

it proved to be one of the best gifts 

the rest of the boys brought down silverware, tables, and the firepits

preparing for another long night

waves crashing into each other as the tide receeded back

by the time ahsoka and y/n were back they enjoyed dinner and dessert beach side

a magical sunset painting the sky 

hues of pink, orange and purple

ahsoka snapped a picture of y/n and rex’s not-so-secret-kiss 

the sunset it the background

ahsoka needed to frame it and give it to y/n as a surprise 

the sun was down

fire crackling 

soft conversations between all battalions and jedi

calmed down by the end of the night

the distant sound of music 

to the clones, it felt like a dream

none of them thought they would make it past this war

but here they were

and they couldn’t be more thankful

finally, their future was promised

--

masterlist for more of my content 

[hrtiu]

Foxiyo Week day 2! Better late than never! The prompt is Trust: safety, faith, protection. Sometimes, even the great Commander Fox needs protecting. AO3 link.

Nobody’s perfect. Even CC-1010, Commander Fox, highest ranking clone in the GAR, made mistakes sometimes. When pressed, there were exactly three mistakes over the course of his career that Fox could remember with perfect clarity.

---

“I specifically requested an escort for my trip to Bothawui, and you’re telling me no one’s available?” Senator Paulness asked, his watery eyes flashing in frustration.

Sithspit, Fox thought, looking down at his datapad. “Weren’t you sharing the transport with Senator Chuchi?”

Commander Fox stood on the landing platform between Senators Chuchi and Paulness and their respective entourages. Behind him a squad of clones stood at attention—enough clones for one senatorial escort but definitely not two.

“Senator Chuchi? When did I ever say anything about Senator Chuchi?” Senator Paulness said, hands on hips.

“Aren’t you both going to Bothawui?”

“Yes, but to entirely different cities on entirely different diplomatic missions! Do you think this one escort can be with both of us at the same time on two different sides of the planet, Commander?”

Fox looked back down at the datapad, his mind struggling to call back to his conversation with Senator Paulness from two months ago amidst the thousands of other meetings, councils, briefings, and requests floating around in his memory. Senators Paulness and Chuchi had approached him on the same day, requesting to go to the same system, but now that he thought about it, they hadn’t said they’d be going together.

“Eh, no, sir,” Fox said, already bracing for whatever ire Senator Paulness was about to unleash on him. “My mis-”

“I’m so sorry, Zinn,” Senator Chuchi said, approaching her colleague and taking him by the arm. “I told Commander Fox I’d be going with you when I made the request. When I first heard about your trip I thought we might travel together, then later I changed my mind and forgot to tell Commander Fox.”

Fox stared at Senator Chuchi like she’d grown a second head, though she had no way of telling on the other side of the helmet. She was lying. She was lying to spare his shiny ass.

Senator Paulness looked down at the blue arm hooked around his elbow, his eyebrows climbing up his forehead in surprise. “Oh, eh, well… It’s no problem, Senator Chuchi. An honest mistake.”

“I can get another escort together in a few hours,” Fox said, doing a few quick calculations on patrol schedules and outstanding favors on the inside of his visor. “Would that work for either of you?”

“Since it was my mistake, I’d be happy to take the later escort. Thank you for being so accommodating,” Senator Chuchi said, her composed features gracing him with an elegant smile. Fox resisted the urge to cough.

“Certainly.”

Fox got Senator Paulness sorted with his escort, then saw the transport off the landing platform and called in the squad who’d be taking Senator Chuchi. When all the logistics were finally done, he personally walked Senator Chuchi to the transport. He held a hand out to her to help her up the gangplank and she took it. 

“Thank you,” he said, just loud enough for the mic in his helmet to pick up and vocalize the message.

Senator Chuchi smiled down at him. “It was my pleasure, Commander.”

---

Fox’s second mistake nearly leveled the city. Fox stood on a platform overlooking the carnage the Zillo Beast had wrought, the sheer amount of work to do the only thing keeping him from boiling alive in a wash of guilt and anger. Over a hundred people, citizens and clones alike, killed by a beast that he and his men should have contained.

Chancellor Palpatine finished talking with the Jedi who’d helped subdue the beast, then joined Fox on the platform, the kindly face he always wore hardening just a fraction.

“Well, Commander. How did this happen? You told me this creature was secure.”

Fox tensed, his fingers flexing nervously on his blaster. Chancellor Palpatine represented the Republic in a literal sense, and failing him felt like failing Fox’s duty to the Republic. “We made it as secure as we could, sir. The beast was an unknown quantity.”

“There should have been contingencies. Backup plans! Ray shields on ray shields! Look at all these casualties,” Chancellor Palpatine said, his eyes misting over as they surveyed the smoldering city. 

Fox wanted to sink right into the duracrete below them and perish. “I… Sir, I… Did what I could-”

“Chancellor Palpatine, are you alright?” a soft, lilting voice said. “I heard you were trapped on an airship when the creature attacked.

Senator Riyo Chuchi joined them on the platform, her headpiece and elaborate hair dishevelled but otherwise unharmed. Chancellor Palpatine turned to her, his eyes widening and a weary smile rising to his lips.

“I am unharmed, thanks to the quick thinking of Anakin Skywalker,” he said.

“I’m so glad to hear it, Chancellor. And Commander,” she said, turning to Fox, “Please do not blame yourself for this incident. I saw that creature from the Senate building. There was no way to contain it, and it should never have been brought here in the first place.”

Chancellor Palpatine’s eyebrows rose and he leaned backwards, surprised by the Senator’s gentle, implied rebuke. And Fox… Well, Fox didn’t know how to feel. It was strange, having someone come to his defense, and this was the second time now. The deep well of guilt in his gut started to evaporate, if only a little, and his sense of personal responsibility for the carnage before him ebbed to a more manageable  degree.

“Well, ahem. Thank you, Senator Chuchi, for your concern,” Chancellor Palpatine said.

“Thank you, Senator Chuchi,” Fox said.

“No,” she said, reaching her hand out towards him. “Thank you for protecting our capital every day.”

He shook her hand, and even through his gloves he could swear he felt warmth.

---

The third mistake Fox made came very close to ending his life, but in other ways saved it.

He’d let the Jedi librarian—Jacosta Nu—go. She’d used her mind tricks on him and escaped. Fox wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do to apprehend someone who could warp his very thoughts, but excuses wouldn’t work on the Emperor, or on his new disciple, Darth Vader.

“The temple is sealed, Lord Vader,” Fox told the imposing man as he strode up the temple steps. “What are your orders?”

“Unless authorized by either the Emperor or me—no one enters, no one leaves.”

“Yes, sir.”

Vader swept past Fox, his long black cloak trailing behind him, and walked through the temple doors. Fox stayed behind, monitoring the comms and making sure the perimeter stayed clear. Then the shooting started.

“Sir, we’ve got another Jedi!” a trooper shouted frantically over the comm.

“Don’t let them escape! Apprehend them by any means necessary!” Fox said.

More shooting continued, then several screams. Fox lost one, two, three men.

“Commander Fox?” a voice asked, a voice entirely at odds with the current situation. Fox turned around and his heart rate spiked at the sight of Riyo Chuchi walking up the temple steps, ignoring the troopers waving her away.

“Ma’am, this area is not safe-”

“What’s going on, Fox? They’re saying that the Jedi have betrayed us, but that can’t be true! I can’t get a straight answer out of anyone-”

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, right now,” Fox said, his teeth grinding in tension. She was not supposed to be here. Fox wasn’t allowed to have opinions about his orders, but one thing he did know was that he didn’t want Riyo Chuchi’s hands to be sullied by the kind of work he had to do now.

He signalled to Captain Dennet, and the trooper gently but firmly took Senator Chuchi by the arm and started to haul her away.

Fox checked back in on his comms, and everything was chaos.

“He got Sinkeye!”

“Ahhh!”

“Wait, wait! That’s not a Jedi-!”

Then Darth Vader himself descended from a broken window high up on the temple wall, his bulky body moving with a balletic grace. As the dark figure slowly advanced on him, it all came together in Fox’s head. The chaos from the comms, Vader’s orders, the cold anger in his voice—this was an even bigger mistake than letting the librarian go.

“Your men were shooting at me, Commander,” he said, coming to a stop right in front of Fox.

This will be the last mistake I ever make, Fox thought, his hands starting to shake in one final contradiction to the training he’d received on Kamino. Now, Fox knew with absolute certainty that clones could fear.

“I’m sorry, sir! They thought you were the Jedi-”

“Did you not provide your troops with my description?”

“I- I didn’t expect anything like this to happen, sir. I just didn’t think-”

Darth Vader raised his hand and Fox squeezed his eyes shut, somehow knowing despite having never dealt with him before that Vader’s hand was all it would take to kill him.

“Stop!”

Fox opened his eyes and all he could see was the back of Senator Chuchi’s cloak, the crimson hiding him from the murderous man before him.

“Senator, this matter does not concern you. Leave,” Vader said, his voice deathly still.

“I know that things are different now with the Emperor, and you may be his acolyte, but the Senate still exists. Are you going to murder me, too, to get to Fox? Because that’s what it will take,” Senator Chuchi said, utterly unbowed.

Beyond Senator Chuchi, Vader stood stock still, his mechanized breath slowly puffing in and out. He examined Senator Chuchi like he might a bug beneath his boot, and Fox felt sure that his mistake would now cost two lives instead of one.

“I will be telling the Emperor about this,” Vader said, then he whisked away.

Fox inhaled, the oxygen flooding his deprived brain. He didn’t even realize the power had left his limbs until Senator Chuchi caught him, her tiny frame propping him up.

“Commander Fox, you need to get out of here.”

“...But… We need to keep the perimeter secure…”

Senator Chuchi shoved him back so he was centered on his feet again and looked him sternly in the eye. Fox wondered somewhere in the back of his mind how she managed to catch his gaze through the helmet.

“If you ever see that man again, he’ll kill you. You need to leave.”

“I can’t leave,” Fox protested. “I’m Commander of the Coruscant Guard.”

“We both need to leave. I don’t know if this ‘Lord Vader’ will have much mercy to spare for me, either. If I can see where the wind is blowing, the Senate may very soon become powerless in the face of this new regime.”

“I can’t-”

“Sir,” Captain Dennet interrupted. “Sir, you should go with the Senator. She’s right—Lord Vader will kill you. Either way you’re no longer with the Guard, but at least if you leave you escape with your life.”

Fox looked around, and the other clone troopers nodded solemnly. His chest tightened at their support and concern for him, at the permission they were giving him.

Senator Chuchi held out her hand to him. “Come with me, I was already preparing a transport in case of emergencies.”

Fox looked down at the hand, the pale blue laced with indigo where her skin creased. She was so small and seemingly delicate, and yet she’d caught him each time he fell.

He took her hand.

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 1

Or, Leah thinks Yoda is a badass and thirsts and coos over Plo Koon.

Welcome to part 1 of season 1! Ngl I’ve only got 2 episodes for the first one because i didn’t have time to watch a third, so here we go. These are just the thoughts and notes i took as i made my way through the episode, in their absolute rawness, I’ve barely even edited them so enjoy? and before anyone mentions it, yes I could do these on tiktok and you guys could watch me being an idiot, would anyone be interested in that however?

Tags (if anyone else would like to be tagged in this series, let me know!): @acciokenobi​ @roseofalderaan​ @catsnkooks​ @peacelandbread​ @littlevodika​ @icedcoffeeandgays​ @captainrexstan​ @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky​ @mcu-padawan​

Episode 1: Ambush

> Fuck yeeeeeaaahhh this intro is a fucking bop, I forgot how much I like it

> OH WAIT HANG ON YODAS IN THIS EPISODE, like it’s actually Yoda centric???? mad.. i thought it was going to be anakin and ahsoka this ep

> FUCK I KNOW THAT VOICE *enter ventress*             - this woman could step on me and I’d say thank you ✨

> Oh shut tf up Dooku, nobody cares what you have to say

> “Sprung the trap, we have” no shit, is it just Yoda’s trademark to say exactly what’s going on?

> HAHAHAHAHHAAH “ITS MY PROGRAMMING”!!!!!

> I have some questions, who has the creativity to come up with characters and planets that look like this?? Like that’s so cool????

> Huh you actually think you’re gonna catch Yoda???? Interesting thought.

> HAHAHAHAHA SMALL SHRIVELLED GREEN ONE WITH A LIGHTSABER *accurate tho, and I live for Ventress’ sarcasm ngl

> I want to point out the peak humour of one droid saying stop, we’re not gonna fit, followed by a droid attempting to fit                  >> actually scratch that the droids are hilarious in general

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HIS GIGGLE AND THEN DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT HE MEANT?!

> why is yoda likeable in this episode??? If you can’t tell already, I don’t like Yoda very much.

> “He IS a little one!”

> alright fine. i admit it, I don’t think I’ve given Yoda enough credit, I didn’t like him much, but 10 minutes episode and I’m lowkey giggling at him.

> Dude Yoda is so cool *(Notes: i have written in a column here: should rename the title of part i to “Yoda is a fucking boss”)

> The force is so cool ngl

> “Trouble? Know nothing of this trouble, I do” hahahahaha hahahahaha

> AW HUNNY NO YOURE NOT EXPENDABLE YOU NEED TO GO WITH THE SHRIVELLED GREEN LITTLE SHIT

> good job Yoda make em feel better for me thank you

> *droid battallion approaches and Yoda just fucking sits there* Have I mentioned that Yoda is literally so cool?

> Bruh I shouldn’t be surprised that the 4 of them destroyed an entire battalion but that was legit AWESOME

> HA HA HA HA AH BITCH YODA GONNA KICK UR ASS

> Eh i don’t think I’ve said this enough, Yoda’s fucking cool.

> PFFFFFFFFFFTTTT fully just stole her lightsabers - imagine how much trouble Yoda would’ve saved himself if he had just kept the bastards instead of letting her take them back

> Alright fine, maybe I will enjoy this season.

 Episode 2: Rising Malevolence 

Notes: I am so sorry in advance, to be honest this entire one is just me either thirsting or cooing over Plo Koon and I can’t help it, and no, I still have not decided dad or daddy (its currently 14(?) hours after I watched the episode and I am still very undecided and I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to make that choice)

> HEY ITS LITTLE BABEY AHSOKA AND OMG HOLY SHIT HES IN THIS EPISODE????????????????

> Lowkey I dunno if it’s dad or daddy?

> Awwwwwww Lil soka (wait I’m talking about Plo Koon in case you’re confused) (NOTES: uh I know I put it up top but just case you missed it)

> Sorry, did Anakin just say he was gonna ask the council?? The fuck?? 

              >>Be mindful????? Who the fuck is this????

> Ugh it’s palptatunes slimy looking ass

> OBI OBI OBI OBI OBI OBI OBI

> oh shit man that’s bad *if you haven’t clued in I’m going on about the weapon

> AWWWWWW HE WAITS FOR THE CLONES TO GET ON FIRST

> dude what the fuck is going on with his hair??

> Everytime Plo talks my mind goes 🥰 sorry that’s off topic (or is it?)

> At least obi-wan sees sense, Anakin teaching an already reckless Ahsoka was never going to end up with them both being quiet

> AHSOKA! 😠

> Oh wait Wolffe doesn’t have his scar yet????? WAIT DOES THAT MEAN WE SEE HIM GET IT LATER?! Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh-

> HAHAHAHAHA HE ONLY TAKES A BATH ON BREAK

> HMMMMMM AWWWWW I VALUE YOUR LIFE MORE THAN FINDING THAT WEAPON

> There’s more alive, oh good I was afraid that they- aw shit poor Plo he sounds like he feels so guilty

> fucking hell I just wanna give him a hug and kiss his cheek and make it all better (NOTES: see what I mean???? Thirst or fluff?)

> OOP THERE IT IS! I was wondering when the usual Anakin would show up

> “Redeployed himself.... again.” I can feel obi-wans exasperation with this kid man

> Okay so, Anakin is a little shit. So disobey the council but don’t tell them that I’m teaching you that

> Aw no there’s gonna be more clones die??????? Oh no and they have to watch oh no oh no oh no-

> I have questions: How are they screaming? I don’t think that’s how space works??? Ok but I legit don’t know?? Is it even possible to scream in space?? And shouldn’t it have killed them straight away?

> Aaawwwwww Ahsoka my baby (literally anytime this child comes on screen)

> “Anakin where are you” I love obi wan so much hahahahahahahahaha

> WAIT NO PLO AND FEW OF HIS SONS TROOPERS ARE ALIVE DONT LEAVE

> oh good job R2, crisis averted

> Pfffftttt the droid humming is distracting me from the more potential death

> Plo Koon is cooler than Yoda, you cant change my mind so don’t try.

> YEEEEETTTTTT poor sinker yikes I can’t imagine flying through space is fun

> PALPATINE YOU BASTARD HE PROBABLY WANTS MY LOVE DEAD HOW DARE HE

> “Twice the trouble they have become”?????? No shit Yoda. What were you thinking pairing these two disasters up?

> AND THEN HE TRIES TO GET THEM TO ABANDON DAD(DY?)

> R2’s whirring is a vibe tho

> AAAAAAHHHH NOT TO ME PLO MY HEART 🥺🥺

> oh god the animation is terrible (NOTES: I can’t believe it took me that long to make that comment)

> Aw he seems so sad, thank u Ahsoka, she gave him the love and hug he deserves

> Ugh now my internet’s playing up dang it, well this is infuriating, I WANT TO KNOW IF THEY DESTROY THE WEAPON OR NOT?!

> He seems so genuinely scared??????? Plo has me getting major feels

> OH SHIT FUCK THE OTHER DROID SHIT FUCK NO SHIT

> how did everyone hate Ahsoka when this first came out??? I love her so much

> I mean like, I know they’re not gonna die??? But I still feel so anxious omg

> Holy shit the disappointment that rolls off of dooku is kinda hilarious (it took all of me not to start giggling at this)

> “Riiiiiiiiiiiiight the council report”

Alright gonna stop here, because I have class in 20 minutes and there is no way that I am leaving the library if I start watching episode 3 so uh see y’all next time for episodes 3,4,5 and maybe 6??

[youngcheesecaketale]

Clonetober #24 ARC Troopers Getting Prank

Fives,Hardcase, Anakin, and Wrecker LOVE pulling pranks on their Clone Brothers ESPECIALLY on the ARC Trooper Clone Brothers and their Clone Brother 99. When Fives, Hardcase, Anakin, and Wrecker heard that they were heading back to KAMINO to delivery some supplies for the Clones on Kamino, THOSE 4 couldn’t resist from doing a prank on their ARC Trooper Clone Brothers and their Clone Brother 99. Fives told Hardcase, Anakin, and Wrecker  to choose which one of their Clone Brothers to do a PRANK ON! This is who would prank who. Fives will prank ARC Trooper “Colt”, Hardcase will prank ARC Trooper “Blitz”, Anakin will prank ARC Trooper “Havoc”, and Wrecker will prank Clone Trooper “99”. If only they knew that the ARC Troopers and 99 will get back at them. This is what THOSE 4 each did.

Fives decided to put one of those “Jump Scare Video” on ARC Trooper Brother Colt’s Holopad while Hardcase and Wrecker make a lot of noise so their ARC Trooper Brothers would leave the room so Fives can do his prank. After he was done, he called Anakin on his Comlink telling him that his prank was all set. Anakin went to Hardcase and Wrecker to “TAKE THEM AWAY”. After an hour later, Fives’s prank worked. Oosp. I forgot to tell you that he put a hidden camera in the room so he, Hardcase, Anakin, and Wrecker could watch it from a different room that was farther than where the ARC Troopers were. THOSE 4 LAUGHED when they saw that Colt had tumbled his Holopad after he saw that. He was trying to hold it but couldn’t. He’s chair fell backwards. I should mention that Colt didn’t have his helmet on so…..yeah. THOSE 4 laughed EVEN MORE when they saw Colt’s Face.

Now that Fives did his prank, it’s now Hardcase’s turn. Hardcase decided to put “Plastic Wrap” on the outside of the ARC Trooper Blitz’s door but before he did that…..Well….when I said that Fives put a camera in Colt’s room, I forgot to mention that Fives had put a hidden camera in each of their ARC TROOPER CLONE BROTHERS ROOMS. Anyway, when Fives told Hardcase that Blitz was in his room, he and Anakin put the Plastic Wrap on the outside of the door. Once the Plastic Wrap was up, Hardcase and Anakin ran back to where Fives and Wrecker were so they could watch the live video on “Rex’s Holopad” (which Rex doesn’t know about). After a few minutes, Blitz opened the door and didn’t see the Plastic Wrap and hit it. THOSE 4 LAUGHED when they saw Blitz fall backwards after getting hit by the Plastic Wrap. I did forget to mention that Hardcase and Anakin covered the WHOLE DOOR so……Blitz had to call Colt and Havoc to help get him out of his room.

Next we have Anakin. He decided to hide an “Air Horn” in Havoc’s Chair in Havoc’s Classroom where he teaches sometimes. Fives helped Anakin put the Air Horn in the chair so Havoc’s Chair was just like Havoc’s Chair. It didn’t look like anyone messed with it. When Havoc had passed out the tests to the Adult Clone Cadets, he went to go sit in his chair and do some paperwork. As he sat down, the Air Horn went OFF. It made Havoc fall back in his chair as his chair went down to the floor. Everyone couldn’t hold it and started laughing. Yes….Fives also put a hidden camera in the room as well. THOSE 4 LAUGHED SO HARD that Fives told the others that he almost peed himself. SORRY. I forgot to mention that they did all these pranks in ONE DAY. Anyway, it’s now Wrecker's turn.

Wrecker decided to do something simple because 99 gets SCARED REALLY EASILY so he didn’t need to do ANYTHING BIG. This time Fives didn’t put up hidden cameras because 99 doesn’t stay in ONE place. He did it in the Adult Cadet’s Barracks. Fives, Hardcase, and Anakin hid where they could watch the prank take place and were ready to see the prank but little did they know that……you will find out in my Clonetober #24 ARC Trooper Doing Pranks. Anyway, Wrecker creeped up behind 99 and yelled BOO. 99 got SO SCARED that 99 grabbed his left arm and “HAD” a “HEART ATTACK”. THOSE 4 just laughed when they saw that but as they walked over to see that “99” had passed out. They were about to wake him up but couldn’t because “Kix” ran down to them and told them to “NOT TOUCH HIM”! After he said that, Kix put his finger to 99’s neck and pronounced him DEAD! Kix called on his Comlink for 2 other Medical Clones Brothers to bring a stretcher and a “BLACK BODY BAG”. When the other Clone Medics came, they put 99 in the Black Body Bag, zipped it up, and took him away. 

DON’T WORRY. You will soon know what HAPPENED to 99 in the next story!

Thank you for reading my story. Please let me know how you like it and if you want me to tag you in my stories. Hope you enjoyed reading it.

[pulpwriterx]

CIRCLE OF IRON

PART 2 of 6: ANGER

Rey expected he would lock her up, as soon as they got to his ship.

But he didn’t.

Rey didn’t really understand her situation until she went with Kylo Ren to his private quarters, and saw maintenance droids finishing up the task of cleaning up a small room.

Bed, desk, circular window, window seat, bookshelves bolted to the wall, small closet with drawers.

This was her room.

“You may encode the door with your fingerprint. Then I will not be able to open it. Do you have any other clothes? Any belongings?”

“Just what I have with me.”

“Have you ever had a medical evaluation?”

“No.”

“Well, that can wait until tomorrow.”

He showed her where the bathroom was, and the common room, and his small private kitchen.

“You can eat whatever you want from the refrigeration unit. But you must be careful not to eat or drink anything that doesn’t come from here, or that I have not prepared. I have enemies. Now that I am your teacher? You have the same enemies. You can trust the water fountains. Nothing else. Don’t use the stove. I don’t like anyone cooking in my kitchen. Tomorrow you’ll have a medical evaluation. Would you rather have a droid or a person?”

Rey shrugged.

“You’ll also be measured for clothes.”

“For that, I want a droid. I don’t want any strange men seeing me naked.”

“Then I will assign my personal doctor to you, also. You can trust Talia, absolutely. I do. Go in your room, and I’m locking you in until I have seen my doctor. I don’t think I can trust you, yet.”

***

Rey had only meant to lie down on the bed.

But she was so exhausted that she fell asleep, immediately.

Kylo Ren’s voice awakened her.

“The door is unlocked. You can enable it to lock only for you, now. Come out, if you're hungry.”

Rey was hungry.

And she was stuck, here, on a Star Destroyer, with Kylo Ren.

She had made a deal, and she was bound by it.

In blood.

Rey suddenly began to wonder what the hell she was doing, at all.

If she'd had a home to go to, she thought, she would probably have found a way to escape, went back to it, and forgot the whole thing.

But she didn’t have a home.

Why is this monster in human form still being kind to me after I cut his face open? Is he the Great Beast and the Handsome Prince, at the same time?

Rey coded the door for her thumbprint and DNA, and then she walked out.

There was a long fiber bandage going from almost his forehead, down to his neck, and disappearing into the A-line black undershirt.

“I don’t understand you.” Rey said, bluntly.

Kylo Ren said nothing, he only busied himself in the kitchenette as she sat at the metal table.

“What do you want from me?”

“They’ve been at your mind, already. Telling you about their war. Their religion. Their path for you. Rey, you’re our only hope. I used to be their only hope. Now I’m Snoke’s only hope. Or so it seems to him. I don’t want anything from you. You have nothing. You are alone. I want to teach you how to use the Force, but more importantly? How to escape being used by people like my mother. And Snoke. Because they would use your loneliness and your poverty to manipulate you. I can see they already have. I would know. I let both sides use me and manipulate me.”

He turned away from the counter.

“I know you think these people are your friends. They’re not. I would know. This is my family. The people who raised me. My father, he doesn’t care about destiny, or the Force, but he didn’t care enough about me to save me from the rest of them. If they used me for their own purposes, what about you? With no home, no family, nothing but a spear and the clothes on your back?”

He turned back to the counter.

“You’ll have three meals a day, every day, a room of your own, clothes for every day, and you can take a shower every day. You’re not a First Order conscript, but I can get you on the payroll, as support staff. Let me be your teacher. Try not to think of yourself as a bird in a gilded cage. At the end of the year, if you want to go, I’ll give you a sack of Imperial Gold Coins, and a one-man ship, and you can take whatever possessions you want from your room, and go. Hopefully, even if you don’t want to join me? You won’t want to join them, either. The Old Man could use a good scavenger, in his business. Keep that in mind.”

“Why should you care about me?”

“I could talk to you about the way the Force has brought us together. That you feel it, too. I could tell you about the immediate attraction we had to each other. And that you feel it, too. But I have more dire reasons. I know you’re in danger of suffering a terrible fate. My fate. I used to be you, Rey. The Little Prince. The Only Hope. I knew when I was 14 or 15 that I wasn’t cut out to be a Jedi. But it was what my mother wanted. And my Uncle. And my grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, who people said I looked more like, every day. So, I kept trying to live up to their expectations. He was a Jedi. I was determined that I would be, too. You know how I found out that he was Darth Vader? The same way the Galaxy did. I was 17. It was a terrible betrayal, but it explained many things. Why my mother didn’t want a boy around who resembled Anakin Skywalker, physically, and in temperment. Why my Uncle looked on some of my achievements with fear. That’s when I found grandfather's TIE Fighter. And I began my own rebellion. I restored that TIE Fighter, and immediately flew to Tattoine, and shipped out on a freighter with a Mandalorian smuggler. Under an assumed name. The Old Man found me, and I was 18 before my Mother talked him into sending me back to the Temple. That was the first of many times that I ran away, in the next five years. I just wish someone had been there to tell me that what Master Snoke had on offer was just as false. I’d still be a free man. Now? I’m just another slave to the First Order. Only a little better off than the Troopers in my command crew. The sons of bitches took me from my family, and tortured and brainwashed me, and lied to me, too. Now I’m trapped, again, doing the Imperial Dirty Work. That is, until I develop the skill and the strength to get out. You don’t have to share my fate, Rey. And if I’m right, about my feeling…my feeling about our bond? We may be able to help each other escape the hideous trap of spending a lifetime as a slave to a destiny you didn’t ask for. And never quite understood.”

That was an honest answer.

Unsettlingly so.

I used to be you. The Jedi used and betrayed me. I found the Sith no better. They will do the same to you, if I don’t stop them.

Even if it wasn’t true, it was what Kylo Ren believed.

But there was some truth in it.

Rey knew from the sudden coldness in her soul that there was.

There has to be a reason that Han Solo and General Organa-Solo live apart. That he turned his back on the Republic, and has nothing to do with the Resistance. There has to be a reason that Luke Skywalker abandoned the world and disappeared. There has to be a reason that Ben Solo became Kylo Ren.

All of his bitter words are not just bitterness.

Some are the truth.

I have to try and separate the truth from his loneliness and bitterness and pain.

But those are part of the truth, too.

And then Kylo Ren put a plate in front of Rey.

Rey could feel her eyes growing wide.

It wasn’t as if she had never eaten a sandwich; well, not often.

But the two slabs of black bread had to be an inch thick, and in between them was a large chunk of nerf cheese, and slab upon slab of sliced nerf beef, etirely slathered in Rodian mayonnaise.

Not to mention there was an apple and a pear sitting on the plate.

Both.

Rey sat, looking in awe at the plate of food and then Kylo Ren sat a giant glass of blue milk in front of her.

He had a pitcher of it, two giant sandwiches, two pears and two apples.

“Look at all this food! How much food do you have?”

“More than even I could eat, in the next six months. Blame Chewbacca. He did most of the real work, raising me. I eat like a Wookiee. How the hell do you think I got to be this big?”

“Well, do I have to save some of this for tomorrow?”

“No. I have enough of my food stored on this ship to last a year. And if I eat it all before that? I can afford to buy more.”

“I can eat it all, right now?”

“All of it. You’ve been hungry all your life, Rey. Starving. That’s over, now. You'll be able to change your clothes every day. And eat all you want, at all three meals. Eat until you can’t move, if it makes you happy. And you can take a shower, every day. Or a bath. As long as you’re here, with me? You can have whatever you need. Just ask for it. Extra meals. Different clothes.  Extra blankets. Five pillows. Money. Books. A blaster. Anything.”

“Are you allowed to drink?” Rey asked.

“Of course. I’m a bad guy. I can drink, and smoke, and sleep with girls, even.”

Kylo Ren stood up.

He went back to the counter, and returned with a mug of Arkanian ale.

And a pitcher, for himself.

“Thank you. But I am entirely uninterested in what you do and don’t do with women.” Rey said.

Frostily.

“Which brings me to Wednesday. You'll have to stay in your room on Wednesday nights. I have a guest, on Wednesday nights.”

“What if I have to use the toilet?”

“Go out your door into the main hallway, and use the Women’s Officer's Refresher. She’s suspicious and possessive.”

“Fine. That’s just fine.”

Rey thought she heard Kylo Ren laugh into his pitcher as he drank.

***

The next day, a droid measured Rey for new clothes, in her room.

The doctor, a Twi-Lek female, also visited her, in her room.

She got an evaluation, and at the end, explained to the doctor that she had an unregistered contraceptive implant, and that there was something wrong with it.

“The order for treatment includes a new implant.”

Rey was glad when all that was over.

Not so glad that the doctor immediately shared all her findings with Kylo Ren.

“Your apprentice is in generally good health. She is somewhat malnourished. I would like to see her gain 25 pounds in the next two to three months. If you keep her to the Kashyyyki diet you eat, that will be fine, along with vitamin supplements. Also, there was a problem with a faulty implant of unknown origin. If you are on intimate terms with your apprentice, I must ask you to forego any intimacy for the next two weeks.”

“We are not on intimate terms!” Rey shouted.

“Is Miss Rey in pain? Will she need to rest?”

“No, there’s no need for bed rest. Will that be all, Lord Ren?”

“Yes. Oh, and doctor? My apprentice and I are not on intimate terms. You may go, now.”

The doctor departed.

“Before you accuse me, all the female officers and stormtroopers of the First Order who are unmarried and serve with men on spacecraft are required to have an implant.”

Rey had been about to accuse him.

“You’re a strange man, Kylo Ren.” She finally said.

***

Han looked incredibly pleased with himself.

“So, Ben is pissed off at Old Man Snoke. For lying to him, and brainwashing him and all that shit. He wants to kill the twisted old freak. Eventually. And he explained his ideas, about the Force to me. I didn’t get it, but Rey said Ben was a Grey Jedi. They kinda, you know, went for each other. And Ben wants to take care of Rey. Teach her about that Grey Jedi shit. Give her a home, and three squaresa day, and in a year? I’ll give her a job as my scavenger. Meanwhile, I will keep working on the kid, you know, when we do business. So, things will turn out fine.”

Han lay back in the pillows on Leia's camp bed, and closed his eyes.

Having taken care of business, with his wife, and negotiated a deal with his son, Han was just about asleep when Leia slapped him across the face.

“Hey?”

“You stupid son of a bitch! How is your own son smarter than you? And you just gave Rey to him? To save your miserable old ass!”

“Look, Your Generalship, you've only seen the kid about six times in the last ten years! I had him on my ship, and he was doing pretty good and you made me take him back to that Jedi school! The last time, he begged me to let him stay! You know how much sleep I lose, thinking about that? In the four or five years I've been doing business with Ben, I see him once a month, and until Starkiller Base? Never without that mask. He doesn’t even call me Dad. He calls me Solo. Like my name has nothing to do with him. And I live with that. Just so I can have a place in his life!”

“Does the money help? What about the spoils of sixty years of Galactic War?”

“So I like the money? I’m not in this for the money. Or the war. Or the Galaxy. I’d like to get my son back. Alive. And I think Rey’s better off with me, or with Ben than she is getting involved in all this shit. We tried this before, remember? It didn’t work.”

Han rolled over to the wall.

Then he rolled back.

“Why the hell are we sleeping on this cot in this tent when the Falcon's here?”

“I haven’t slept in a real bed for months.” Leia replied.

“Well, put your clothes on. Let’s go.”

“We’re not done talking.”

“I’m done talking. Look, you worry about the Galaxy. I’ll worry about the kid.”

“What if he kills Snoke and doesn’t come back?”

“Then Rey will be there. To convince him. Or to stun him in his sleep. Or put something on his food.”

“You really think that’s what’s going to happen?”

“Don’t you?” Han asked.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it already has. Ok. Let’s go home to the Falcon.”

***

Rey spent the next week getting used to her new surroundings.

After that, Kylo Ren presented her with a schedule.

She would wake at 7, and they would have breakfast.

At nine, two hours of lightsaber training.

At eleven, one hour of combat training.

At noon, lunch.

At two, two hours of guided meditation.

At four, assigned reading and/or discussion.

Dinner at six, and then she was free until the next morning.

“If I am not present, I expect you to spend the whole day meditating and reading. But I will leave your meals in the refrigeration unit.”

Rey knew she should not use training as an excuse to attack Kylo Ren.

He had showed her nothing but kindness.

But she did it, anyway.

He made her angrier with his infinite patience with her infinite anger.

Worst of all?

Rey was actually feeling better, physically, and learning much about the Force and her abilities.

He never mentioned her taking a side, light or dark.

His training was focused on her discovery of both, within her, and to come to a balance between them.

Her anger that he gave her so little to hate came to a head during a hand to hand combat session.

No matter how hard she fought him, she couldn’t so much as get one punch in.

And that was what made her decide to punch her teacher in the balls.

As hard as she could.

He grabbed her wrist, stopping her just before her fist connected.

“No. Bad Rebel Girl. You have to kiss me, first.”

“My intent wasn’t romantic! Let me go!”

He let her hand go.

“I will be going on a combat mission, tomorrow. So you can have the satisfaction of knowing that I will get hurt.”

PART 3 of 6  TEARS

[teacepilots]

Rex X Reader

You sat quietly in the command room listening to the other generals plan their next mission, you would not be accompanying them due to a recent injurie you had sustained. Despite this, you were bored in your own bunk, so you took your sketch book with you.

You enjoyed drawing the troopers and your fellow Jedi, especially when they were concentrating on other things, like their missions, you could capture so many natural expressions when they weren’t aware you were drawing them. This time the subject of your inspiration was Obi Wan, he was an interesting person to draw, especially when concentrating on a briefing.

“Wow!” An amazed voice rang over your shoulder, making you jump and slightly mess up your drawing. “Oh my, I’m so sorry general!” Captain Rex apologised profusely.

“It’s quite alright.” You reassured him, erasing the mistake.

“That’s a mighty impressive sketch m’am.” He said looking between the page and the man himself. “If you don’t me asking, may I see some other pictures?” He looked hopeful.

You hesitated, well aware of the contents, “of course Captain.” You settled,,handing him the book.

He flipped through it, looking impressed and smiling at certain pictures, until he saw one in particular. It was a very detailed sketch of him, cleaning his blaster. He remained silent, admiring your work, he turned some more pages to find other drawings of him, commanding his men, off duty, talking to general Skywalker.

“These are...”

“I can explain-“

“Amazing.” He breathed. You looked up at him confused. “I have to admit m’am, for a clone it’s pretty flattering to have someone pay so much attention to me, especially yourself m’am.”

“What do you mean Captain?” You enquired slightly embarrassed.

“Well, you’re a Jedi master m’am and I’m sure you have better things to do than draw me.”

“I enjoy drawing you.” He stared at you, thinking for a moment. When he didn’t reply, you piped up again, “I find you have the most... inspiring personality of the troops.” You blushed.

“Would you like to go for a walk with me m’am?” He asked extending an arm.

“Are you not going with the others on the mission?” He shook his head. “Well then, I would love to.” You said, accepting it. As you exited the command room, Anakin eyed you suspiciously.

“Do you think it would be possible for me to have on of those pictures? To hang in my bunk.”

“Of course! I’m flattered you think my talents are worthy.” You smiled.

“You admire general Kenobi don’t you?” He asked surprising you with the sudden change of subject.

“Oh I- I suppose, he is dear friend. Why do you ask?”

“Oh it’s nothing important...” he looked away.

“Come on you can tell me Rex, you trust me don’t you?”

“More than anyone!” He hesitated, thinking how to formulate coherent sentence, his heart racing at your proximity. “Recently I’ve been... experiencing a new feeling, one not programme into clones, jealousy.”

You thought for a few seconds, “On my behalf?”

“It appears so. I thought maybe, you felt more than just friendship for general Kenobi.” He looked ashamed.

“Captain, you know.. Jedi are not aloud to make attachment.”

“I’m well aware m’am.”

“And you know, general Kenobi takes the code very seriously.”

“I am aware of that too, I apologise if i have overstepped my boundaries. I will leave you.” He made to turn and walk away when you reached out for his arm.

“Which is why Captain, he would not approve of this.” He looked confused when you checked your surroundings and pulled into a dark corner, where you pulled his face towards yours and placed a kiss on his lips. He was too dazed by the sudden show of affection to notice you giggle and walk away, purposely swaying your hips.

A few days passed without you talking to the captain, but he successfully left you notes in your bunk, short but sweet, telling you how mesmerising you looked that day or how badass you were in battle. Anakin had begun to notice the coy smiles and blushing from across the command room and confronted you.

“I don’t have anything to hide from Ani.” You brushes him off, maintaining your lightsaber.

“Come on y/n, I’ve seen you two looking at each other in ways, that I can only say make me want to jump out of the space hatch.”

“Oh I’m not denying anything, I’m just saying I’m not the only one in this room to be disobeying Jedi code, and I don’t think it’s R-2.” You smirked.

He looked at you wide eyed, “What? How- how did you know?”

“Oh come on Anakin, you’re not the only one who notices things, and I’m very close with Padmé. I can tell you make her happy.”

He stared at you flatly, at that moment, the trooper in question walked in. “Perfect” you thought.

“Oh I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“It’s ok Rex, general Skywalker was just leaving.” You winked at him as he left, though before he was through the door he learn towards Rex’s ear and growled. “If you hurt her, I will personally flush you into space.”

The clone looked highly confused at his generals comment, but forgot any worries completely once he was in your arms.

“This is when you told me to meet you isn’t it?” He asked resting his head on your shoulder.

“Yes Rex, Anakin just has some questions for me. Don’t worry.” You laughed.

When he looked confused you decided to confide in him about Skywalker and the senator, after all he was in the same situation.

“No way!” He asked in disbelief.

“Way!” You chuckled at his shocked face.

“Well there’s not doubt who’s got the best lady.” He smirked at his smooth comment, kissing your cheek.

It wasn’t long before you were both fast asleep in each other’s arms, enjoying the privacy of your bunk.

[libertarianbarbarian]

United State Wars Troopers

United Starwars Troopers

   Facts:

- https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Galactic_Empire/Legends#Government_and_politics

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Loyalist

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Galactic_Republic#Organization

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sector_Governance_Decree

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Delegation_of_2,000

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Petition_of_2,000

 -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starship_Troopers#Militarism

 - https://www.amazon.com/Expanded-Universe-Worlds-Robert-Heinlein/product-reviews/0441218830?pageNumber=2

  OPED WARNING

“My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Avatar kept balance between the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation, and the Air Nomads. But that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop the Fire Nation.” Oh yeah, I’m going to get that dorky with it today!

So, here’s the spiel, we’re divided as ever. The left hates the right, liberals hate “nazis”, or “fascists”, or “racists” …or whatever the hell it is now and days. But there’s something to be said about coming together. I’m sorry but no matter what news source you look at whether it be CNN, or Newsmax…or Fox News, then you’re inevitably going to come up with one conclusion. We’re divided. The only real thing that you’re going to see is the source of the division from network to network.

I know, I know, you’re tired about hearing all of this bullshit by now. Got it, and I am too damn it…but hear me out on this one. This is classically, no comically standard procedure, and probably something that all of us have seen before. One look at my FACTS section and you’ll know where I’m going with this. I personally thought about it for a moment and started laughing my ass off about the whole thing myself!

So yeah, Star Wars, and Starship Troopers. Something everyone knows, and probably loves to hell. Well if you take a close look at everything you start to see a pattern. Back when “Lucasfilms” came out with the prequels of the series that everyone, except my goofy ass, hated they tried to explain how the galaxy was as fucked as it was. Back in the beginning of everything, regarding the prequels, it was kind of calm and had the normal shenanigans going on in politics. You know, a little corruption here, a lobbyist there, special interests for specific politicians popping up all over the place, normal stuff.

Well the biggest thing that popped up was the clone wars. I understand that it didn’t really kick off until episode II but stick with me on this. There was major upheaval. One man, spoiler alert…if you didn’t already know, Senator Palpatine rose through the ranks to prominence. In the background he was manipulating something that they call “the outer rim”, or a special group of planets in the galaxy that weren’t part of the “Galactic Republic”. Think of like a foreign interest’s type of thing. Not to long after that war broke out between a group in “the outer rim” and the “Galactic Republic” called the clone wars.

Yes, we’ve got little Anakin Skywalker, emotional little shit bag, and Padme Amidala as the protagonist’s along with young Obi-Wan Kenobi. There’s something to be said about the main political shit going on around the same time and the division it caused amongst the masses though. Basically while the “Clone Wars” were going on you still had senators going “rabble rabble” in one big hall that represented their planet and then Senator Palpatine inching his ass in to the Supreme Chancellor spot…or I guess their version of a president? Anyways slowly but surely, he started to use the war itself as a springboard to slowly limit the powers of the individual citizens, then BAM! Out comes the “Galactic Empire” that we’re all familiar with and the still evermore moody Anakin Skywalker now Darth Vader.

Ok, I think we’re all caught up now. The reason why I say that there was a major division going on here that made me laugh is that this all sounds vaguely familiar. Right now, as it is, we have a group of elites in Washington D.C. that are pretty much dictating what and who we are as individuals along with what we say socially. Take a look at the news I’ll wait. Are you back yet?

Alright, the real big thing that I looked in to as hard as I could was what the main doctrine of the Galactic Republic had as its backbone. I couldn’t find it exactly so I had to pull some crime show forensic shit to figure out what the hell was going on, and why was it so easy for that form of government to be broken up. Well looking at it they did have a “constitution”, but from everything I could find it was basically weak as hell. Point one for America right there.

It was nothing during a time of war for Palpatine to just waltz right in and declare himself the Supreme Chancellor. He still had to divide the senate and get them to argue amongst each other. Cause a little chaos here, question the morals of a specific candidate. Ahem…call in to question the freaking Supreme Chancellor Valurum, the guy before him. There ya go, bad guy in office for the movies to continue.

The part that really started to get me laughing though was the way everything was set up after I started to do my research for this blog. They had almost the exact same set up we did. “Office of the Chancellor”, “Galactic Senate”, “Judicial Department”. If you ask me that kind of sounds like the President, Congress, and the Supreme Court. Well I think that one might be a draw…maybe. Hold up, all the power was easily transferable to the Galactic Senate, because red tape. Yup, they put out all this shit that pretty much made it easy for them to grab power from anyone and everyone they wanted to through bureaucracy. As a matter of fact, Palpatine our good old Sith buddy here added more on to it.

One thing that I’m pretty sure everyone else knows, even though we’ve got a shit ton of red tape going through our own government here it’s damn near impossible to do that from any one of our three branches. They try, they always do, but because of the constitution of the United States of America, ahem, “You will fail!” I’m sorry that was just way to damn easy not to do.

So to say that we’re close to but not quiet like the Star Wars franchise is kind of funny. Yes, we are. We’re not exactly like space traveling ninjas that can do some pretty cool looking Dragon Ball Z stuff, nor are our two governmental systems EXACTLY alike, but we have something that they have and it’s political officials causing both division and derision with in our own society.

Palpatine isn’t just one specific person with in our own in real life society. Hell no! Instead he’s an amalgamation of several different things and groups we have going on right now. Social justice warriors, the ones that want to sit there and tell you that we have to accept the what is told to us by their community because no matter the situation they are right and we are wrong and that’s the way we’ve set it up for, I don’t know, millennia now. There’s the politicians that placate to the exact same kind of bullshit that’s been reiterated by the social justice warriors and those who are from the opposite that lets be honest here kind of issue the same rhetoric and year after year slowly increase government power and their paychecks.

There’s also, and you know I don’t like these folks here, big tech. I’m all for a company growing in the free market. I’m all for it becoming a big conglomerate of sorts. What I’m not for is that company monopolizing the market that it’s in, nor am I for that company not obeying the laws of its country of origin. Oh! Yeah almost forgot, here’s the liberal in me if you want to put it that way, I’m also not for these companies blatantly censoring those of a creed, race, political choice, religion, or country of origin. We should all have freedom of speech and be willing to accept the consequences of our actions no matter what caused them. All of those factors and groups are our Palpatine.

One thing that my ass is definitely going to talk about here is the Galactic Republic a little more. If you take a deeper dive in to the Star Wars franchise, you’ll notice something as well. Doing research about the whole Galactic Republic, and then the Galactic Empire there was a promise that further divided people. The promise of safety.

Granted everyone wants to be safe. Hell, I want to be safe, but there’s something to be said about HOW you are safe. Call me heated now because damn this is going to be a touchy one. Are you anymore safer if you relinquish how you are safe? Are you any safer in your very free mind if you have someone forcibly tell you how to be safe? I’m sorry but my answer is always going to be no. As should yours. The Galactic Republic, much like our own government, slowly eroded its own power through bureaucratic policy after bureaucratic policy. Even in the movies you can blatantly see them do this in the few scenes that they hold in the movies. Hell, one of the most famous movie quotes is “So this is how liberty dies…with thunderous applause.”

I’m sorry but there’s always one sure fire way to be able to get people to commit to that, make them afraid then divide them. We see it play out plenty of times a day here in our own country. The news reports things out of context, or completely false on both sides. Legislatures and other government officials will add more laws to try and cover up what we as a nation had as one of our founding documents. Then the radicals from either side will sit there and either fight against it with their utmost or tell the general population that there needs to be more.

It’s not right. Now there is a flipside to this coin. Militarism. And here’s the little gobblety goop that caused me to take pause and add in Starship Troopers to this whole mess. This whole series started off as a book that was written by Robert A. Heinlein. Don’t ask, I don’t know how to seriously pronounce his name. But I’m pretty sure that not many of my readers will know who the hell that is. I’m pretty sure that my readers would know more about the comical movie that was made in the nineties. I sure as hell didn’t know that there was a book written before the movie.

Now I say “Militarism” because that’s pretty much what Starship Troopers is all about. And it sure as hell mirrors other things that are going on now and days as well. The left has been militarized to form groups like “Antifa”. The right now has groups that won’t start a fight, nor are they racist, but sure as hell will finish a fight like “The Proud Boys”. Don’t get me wrong I have no issues with the proud boys, however I don’t think that their answer is quiet the right one. Some of the things that both groups do that could end up looking like some engagement on “Klendathu”.

Basically, though, in the 1950’s this writer Robert A. Heinlein wrote a sci-fi critique of what he believed was wrong with the U.S. at the time. He’d been stated for “glorified the military…Specifically the P.B.I., Poor Bloody Infantry, the mudfoot who places his frail body between his loved home and the wars desolation-but is rarely appreciated…he has the toughest job of all and should be honored.” Cool so he’s a fan of the military right? Well not so fast there. I, as a veteran of the Army, wouldn’t stand for the bullshit in the movies that he put out.

You’re only a citizen if you’ve served two years in the Starship Troopers military. Only citizens can vote. Only citizens have the right to apply for a license to procreate with their partner. I’m sorry but that would be more towards the right side of things. I can’t name a single military veteran that would actually be cool with that. Yeah democrats getting into our highest position in the executive offices would absolutely mean budget cuts. Oh, and that means that they end up drawing back on forces or start kicking out soldiers for the simplest or pettiest of reasons. No that’s not a way to go ahead and start doing things either.

See the thing about Heilein here is that he had a very crazy view on things. He looked at the way that the U.S. was at the time and thought “hey we need to hand out more ass whoopin’s.” I’m sorry what? Yes, that’s right, the guy who wrote Starship Troopers thought that there wasn’t enough corporal and capital punishment now and days.

Now if you said something like all around I might could get around that if we were talking a little less harsh corporal punishments than used to be passed around back in the day. The women suffrage movement should have been an example for just women, but for everyone. We don’t need a repeat of the “rule of thumb” for the next poor soul that fucks up in a way that’s irredeemable to their partner. No, I’m down with corporal punishment if it’s with less severe crimes than the big ones. You know rape, child molestation, man slaughter, stuff like that. I think that we can all agree that child molestation needs to be more punishable than “three squares and a cot”.

But one thing that we’ve shied away from what we use to be, and it caused us as a nation. I’m not suggesting that we all of a sudden put Rico on the stocks and start whipping him. It was negligible homicide, and he didn’t know what he was doing leave the poor kid alone. No, if you really want to keep people together first you have to start with a set of minds that things need to be more punishable than they are. Go ahead and call the child molester out and sentence him to death. It’s been proven that its more cost effective to our jail system anyways, and who in their right or left mind wouldn’t want to protect their own children?

No people, one less murderer is still one less murderer. Make sure there’s a time period where they do a more in-depth investigation to make sure that we’ve got the right guy. Make sure that there weren’t any false allegations handed forward against the person you say is a child molester. But if you’re caught selling drugs to someone that you know are illegal and could get the person addicted then you should absolutely not be a seamstress getting that “three squares and a cot”. No hell no, but the person’s ass to work, make them take responsibility for what they did. Put their ass to work like we use to with chain gangs, there’s plenty of substantive materials that we could use the jail systems help on producing.

Of course, the libertarian in me is going to cry out…right…about…now! There’s something to be said though about repealing other things away. No direct profit for any given company in regard to the labor put for by the “chain gang”. Give the profit nation wide to those we put to labor, have them reap some sort of reward. You commit to A form of corporal punishment and rehabilitate them at the same time. Win, win.

Now that I’m off of my little pulpit there’s something that goes back to topic here. In Starship Troopers there’s one agreement that I can make with author. Some conflicts have to be resolved by force. One thing that I will absolutely agree and disagree with at the same time. We didn’t need to go to Iraq, but we did need to go to Afghanistan. There were terrorists that were wreaking havoc on the whole of Afghanistan and in order for those people to chose for themselves what and who they want to be we needed to weed that shit out. No, we didn’t go there to do that originally. Yes, we went there to get Osama Bin Laden. But it was something that once we found we couldn’t stand for as a nation.

So yes, I agree that if we have an incursion against us, like 9/11, then we have to retaliate just like we did or what happened in Pearl Harbor. But when we find further injustice and the people cry out, well fuck if they ask us for aide then it’s our responsibility to answer. Hell, no should we be looking for “WMD’s”. We all figured out what the ploy was there real quick. Yes, they had a dictator that was gassing them pretty much every day. But the responsibility belongs to those countries around them to take refugee’s and protect them.

So, there’s absolutely an answer to all this division we have…and yeah, we see it all the time in our media. We have to sit on our high horse as a nation and as a people and first cut the division bullshit and then stop being like “Star Wars” or “Starship Troopers” and agree to disagree. I parrot this bullshit all day long and damn near every freaking blog. We need the third party, libertarians, to go ahead and help things along so that the two warring political parties we have right now don’t divide and conquer us. We see this all the time in our movies and books. We have a choice, do we still want looting, rioting, and others reaching across the isle to call each other names and censor them…Or do we want to be like Palpatine and start the first “Galactic Empire” and make everyone fear us?

[electronique-brain]

Random Commentary Post-The Last Jedi

I’ll preface this with I’m not a super-involved fan of Star Wars. I’ve seen all the films numerous time, read the fanfiction, and consequently know a bit about the expanded universe, but I’m not entering this theatre absolutely beholden to “this feels/doesn’t feel like Star Wars.”

So for anyone still here.

Rey/Luke/Kylo Ren

I actually really liked most of the Rey/Luke/Kylo Ren plot

I liked Luke’s reticence to train Rey and how even as he’s talking about how terrible the Jedi were, he falls into the trap that made Anakin prime pickings for the Dark Side—constantly distrusting someone who did nothing

However something about the way Luke was written was a bit “let’s make him as unrecognizable as possible”

I’d probably be more pissed about how willing Luke was to kill his nephew if I had rewatched the original trilogy before this

This film was long and something could’ve been trimmed, but I did like the “do you feel the force?” joke 

Though I feel like Rian came into it with a bit of an irreverence for the force... which fine, whatever, we got the great Luke astral projecting (and being selectively solid?) scene. I enjoy how he makes zero efforts at trying to explain the force. Let the past midichlorians die.

Things that could’ve been cut: Rey and the mirror scene. Though as I’m typing this, maybe the mirror showing her was meant to convey “you’re the only one / your parents are dead”

I fricking love how Rey was nobody and her parents were nothing. I love this idea of Kylo Ren turning dark and the force just bypassing the Skywalkers to find the new Chosen One and it’s definitely more in line with this idea that anybody can be the hero. And I love Rey’s disbelief that a nobody like her would be the one to give everyone hope.

istg if I hear the word hope again though.

But the audience was seriously trolled for the longest damn time in real life. Basically don’t troll an audience, it really took away from this overarching theme.

Also the line “your parents sold you”—I feel like Rey being no one and being this child servant / scrapper in a desert planet made her a closer analogue to Anakin Skywalker

I guess all these Disney execs saw all the Kylo Ren mask memes and were like “fuck it, destroy the mask, kill it.” Whatever, I loved that.

Rey and Kylo Ren taking down the foot soldiers together was pure fanservice. As was Kylo Ren taking his shirt off. Which I would’ve cared more about if I cared more about Kylo. 

I’m generally fine with Snoke being killed as he just didn’t feel like a scary villain in The Force Awakens. However, he had more of a presence here and just having all these scenes with him and then that death just felt anticlimactic.

The scene where Kylo Ren is on Crait and firing on the Resistance and he just whispers to shoot them all and Hux immediately yells the exact same thing. Kylo Ren’s look of disbelief and “dude I just said that” was great. I live for these tiny moments.

I’m assuming everyone  was seeing Luke in his last battle, but I personally enjoy the idea of Kylo instructing everyone to shoot at something only he and the good guys could see and everyone just all “uhhhhhh-oh-kay...?”

I’m assuming the astral projection was so that 1) you wouldn’t have to explain how Luke got off the planet without a ship and 2) to show off how massively powerful Luke was

I would’ve really enjoyed a scene where Luke as a force ghost just appears in front of Rey telling her “thank you for reminding me who I am”

Or a scene where he verbally tells Kylo he was never going to kill him.

And if that happened in this movie and I forgot it, then not enough of a fuss about how Luke was lost and then found was made

I’m reading Poe telling Rey “he heard about her” was for her to see how even though she’s nobody from nowhere, she’s still very special to a lot of people and to counteract Kylo’s “you’re somebody to me”

But I will always be wary of Disney execs looking to make Poe straight

Poe / Leia

I feel like whoever wrote this script and cut this film cut out a lot of Poe’s inherent sexiness. Because let’s be real I refuse to believe Oscar Isaac would be around Finn without smizing.

And I guess some executive saw all the *runs to Finn**lip bite**”that jacket looks good” edits and deliberately put in that “Poe ignores Finn being alive after presumed death to hug BB8 for that long”

I liked him being the hotshot pilot and clashing with everyone all “we need to survive”

idk why Laura Dern’s character didn’t just tell Poe she was staying behind  

“big ass ship” took me waaaaaaay out of the movie for a sec.

“The spark that lights the flame that ignites the fire that will burn the First Order down” Just who. Why. 

Finn / Rose

Ugh. This mess.

It started out so damn promising. I enjoyed Rose and her fangirling over Finn. I like this idea of the story of a storm trooper who defected spreading through the resistance and the galaxy. “Doing talking”? Great.

But I’m not entirely sure the writers know who Finn is. 

Did they even see TFA? 

Oh wait, I’m sure they saw it. They saw it and just decided “let’s do the exact same thing—except worse”

Finn really needed another plot where he’s being too selfish but then decides to be selfless?

Dammit, fandom basically wrote you a damn plotline for what to do with Finn in this movie. Ugh. 

Literally, all of Finn / Rose’s debacle in Canto Bight could’ve been nixed. There could’ve been another way to get onto the damn ship when they needed to be there. 

And I get this whole “let’s worldbuild and show the top 1%” but not enough time was dedicated to it and that thread was not hinted at anywhere else. It just screamed the writers wanting to be topical. 

I also just... Finn being in awe over it? I’m sorry, this guy was a trained soldier who defected after all the horrors of war. I feel like it would’ve made more sense for him to be repulsed by how much wealth was being showcased here, by how no one cared what was happening outside the casino. 

The writers basically took away from Finn’s character to build up Rose. And she’s great, but she’s put into this trope of having to explain everything.

A+ for how Paige lingers in Rose’s story however.

Also, did a writer watch Charmed? Did they think, “oh, Paige.... oooh and Rose” 

I’m sorry, but this story beat of “it was all for nothing” / “we were betrayed” doesn’t work when it has to compete with two other storylines. 

Idk why they wanted to muddy the resistance with this “they also buy from war profiteers”. Zero pay off if there’s no other hint of corruption within the resistance, or if the audience is consistently instructed to root for the resistance. 

And if this was simply the guy just trying to justify the pointlessness of everything, one line coming from someone the audience is unsure about isn’t gonna do that. That scene was basically pointless.

Finn beating Phasma in the end was just..... a reason to give Gwendoline a paycheck. The audience needed a reason/to be reminded of why Finn battling Phasma mattered. No such reason was provided.

Finn’s selfless act had zero weight. We’ve already seen him prepare to sacrifice himself for someone else!

I’m sorry, these different themes in Poe’s and Finn’s story are contradicting each other. 

I’m for survival over suicidal heroic deeds, but you have Rose constantly saying “you don’t run away” but then ... Finn should run away? You have Roe’s “you don’t run away”, but then you have Poe’s beat of “sometimes it’s better to survive”. 

Dammit writers, you should’ve just finagled a reason for Finn to infiltrate Snoke’s ship. Maybe have him and Rose turn other storm troopers so you can get in her moment of wonder scene of freeing people from oppression. Ugh. 

Maybe I need to rewatch this, but....... I don’t see any hints of romantic attraction between Rose and Finn. 

I’m not saying there’s a conspiracy to put as much distance between Finn/Poe as possible, but I’m saying the “I love you” felt so shoehorned that I’m deliberately contextualizing it within how Oscar Isaac’s smizing was cut away.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Straight to the Dark

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. I hate this movie. I hate it. It’s bad, man. Fundamentally terrible. It’s a bad Star War. It’s a bad film in general. Everything is terrible. All of it. It’s so terrible. Here’s a list of the terrible stuff:

The Bad

Movie gives away the massive twist in a test crawl. It literally says that Palpatine called the galaxy and said, “Surprise, b*tch. Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” That’s how this movie starts. That’s how i knew it was going to be a bad time.

Sh*t goes into montage of Kylo Ren murdering a bunch of nameless asshole. No plot progression of thematic weight. We don’t know who any of these assholes are, he’s just in the woods, with an entire battalion of Stormtroopers, murdering cats for one of the many, many, mcguffins in this fetch quest of a goddamn film.

Where did all of the Stormtrooper bodies go? They just f*cking disappeared. There’s, like, three of these asshole. Kylo had an entire ship of troops. The f*cc is shot continuity??

The movie doesn’t tell you this because f*ck being good at telling a story, but the people Kylo is slaughtering are Vader Occultists. hat’s right, they worship Darth Vader as a god and yet, here they are trying to murder his living, breathing, grandson? For real? He’s their version of Jesus and you’re going to fight him to the death over some sh*t that probably belongs to him anyway by birthright? Okey-dokey.

gain, none of that is stated or shown in the actual film. F*ck thematic weight or unique story telling, we got an entire original trilogy to wank instead.

So, five minutes in, Kylo finds Palpatine and the “Emporer” is like, “It was me, Barry.” and shows him a bunch of Snoke clones in a jar or some sh*t. Wat. What the f*ck ws all that sh*t Snoke was talking then? About being older than the Sith and talking all that good sh*t? How could Snoke have trained anyone in anything if he was a f*cking puppet the whole time??

Smash cut to Finn yelling about some sh*t. F*ck, they murdered the agency in this character, man. Former Stormtrooper, abandoning his space Nazi rhetoric to became a freedom fighter, who is possibly force sensitive? And he’s one of the six black folks in a galaxy, far, far, away? Hell yeah! Two movies later, syke! Finn is a weenie that can’t do anything by suck Rey’s dick. Welcome to Kathleen Kennedy’s “Force is Female” agenda, boys! Take all of the agency and creativity for the male leads and give it to Rey because f*ck you!

And before you brand me some neckbeard chauvinist, i have no problem with all of the mary sueness that is Rey. There are ways, in-universe, to explain that. No, i am upset that all of that mary sueness came at the expense of literally every other main character in this goddamn trilogy! It’s dope Rey is so strong for no goddamn reason. whatever, f*ck you, but to sacrifice and semblance of an interesting supporting cast? Really? are you serious right now? How does that a good story, make? specially when there was so much fertile ground to develop at the end of Awakens.

Uncanny valley Carrie Fisher. They cut old footage of her into this flick because Rey needs a master. guess what? Se had one. Guess what? Mark Hamil is actually still alive! Why did you need Fisher when you could have just not killed Luke or had him actually train her in Last Jedi or not killed him off so he could be around to enrich Episode IX like everyone had signed up for? Instead, yall decide to Frankenstein old footage of Carrie Fisher into this flick in the most clumsy way possible.

How the f*ck is Carrie Fisher versed well enough in the force to teach Rey anything?? What does she even know?? She literally stopped 30 f*cking years ago! How are you a master of anything?

So, the exposition in this movie is absurd. Cats just sit round in a group and tell you the plot. Constantly. There is literally no time for this film to actually show you hings barbecue we gotta get this sh*t done, so they just TELL you EVERYTHING in a goddamn MOVIE!

This movie feels like the climax of a film, for 2nd a half hours. And not just any film because Endgame did that to wildly different results, but a bad film. Like, a Michael Bay film. It feels like the ass shots and explosions of the end to a Michel Bay film, but the entire movie. It has about the same amount of substance and urgency as f*cking The Rock or some sh*t, with all of the narrative strength to boot.

They keep referring to Anakin’s lightsaber as Luke’s, this entire trilogy, and it’s pissing me off. Luke’s saber was green because he was a Jedi Sentinel. He wanted to know the ways of the Force. That was his path to Mastery. Anakin’s was blue because he was a Jedi Guardian. He wanted to use the force to protect those around him since he had lost so much. That’s why he was so skilled at dueling. Luke’s lightsaber f*cking disappeared or some sh*t. It ws never addressed.

Bro, this teleporting sh*t. For real? The Force is basically telekinesis and telepathy. It’s not magic, my dude. What the f*ck is this teleporting bullsh*t all of a sudden? There is no precedence for this in Legends or canon. you can’t keep ex machina-ing sh*t, especially when the driving force of your narrative is a goddamn mcguffin chase!

Jetpack Stormtroopers that launch from the back of desert motorcycles. The entire sentence is some sh*t a fourteen year old try-hard would write in his fan fiction. It has no place in a proper Star War. Bad J.J. Bad.

Stormtroopers can hit the broad side of a barn yet, this one jetpack trooper not only blew up both of your getaway vehicles, but did it mid flight? For real? b*tch, how? Were THEY using the goddamn force??

Nope! Plot contrivance because they needed to get tuck in that specific quicksand, right specifically now!

Force Heal? Really? F*ck, whatever, man. Force Heal. Force Teleport. F*ck, I’m surprised there’s not Force Time Travel. Sh*t man, there might be. Palpatine is alive and he blew the f*ck up when his Death Star did!

Everything about C-3PO and this stupid Sith dagger mcguffin. Everything.

Oh, Poe. I thought they did Finn dirty bit you? Holy sh*t. Dude was a Spice runner? Really? Not even a hint to any of that before but now, because there’s no time to actually flesh out his character properly, you just drop that? When we first met, you were an ace pilot and hero for the Resistance. Rian Johnson got his claws into you with Kathleen Kennedy’s blessing, and you became a mutinous manbaby. Now, you’re an outright space coke runner. Character assassination at it’s finest, if you can call what they gave Poe a character to begin with.

First Order blockade mcguffin, i choose you! Thank you faceless character i just met that Poe has apparently known for decades or whatever, f*ck you!

More Force Teleport fighting!

Dyad in the Force, huh? okay. I thought Snoke did that to f*ck with Kylo in the last movie but whatever. I don’t care anymore. F*ck you.

So Rey finds out she’s a Palpatine and has an emotional crisis. For less than a minute because f*ck emotional levity or character growth, we gott get this sh*t done!

So you introduce an entire platoon of Stormtrooper deserters, give Finn a non-Jedi love interest, and just gloss over all of that with a single conversation of exposition? Really? That could have been a really great part of his person journey but NOPE! F*CK YOU!!

Leia dies for no apparent reason. apparently, when you use your Force powers after a long time, you just croak? Okey-dokey.

Kylo Ren outright dominates Rey until he feels his mom die and Rey take an opportunity to sucker stab him in the gut. AND THEN she feels Leia die. Really? Why do you never see the force when you’re supposed to? Your f*cking master just just croaked and it visibly traumatized her sun and your first instinct is to f*king murder him? for real, b*tch?

Han Solo ghost. Apparently, that n*gga was a secret Jedi or some sh*t. I dunno. F*ck you.

So Rey heals Kylo, steals his ship, and flies off to Luke’s hermit world just to throw a goddamn tantrum until Luke’s Force Ghost shows up and tell her to calm her tits. He physically interacts with her. He raises his old X-Wing so she can fly to Pappy Palpatine’s Ice Shack.  WHY HAS HE NOT BEEN HELPING TO TRAIN HER THIS ENTIRE F*CKING TIME???

Speaking of that X-Wing, how the f*ck can it even fly?? It’s literally been underwater for at least two decades.

Also, Luke had a Jedi wayfinder? n*gga, how? Rey destroyed the one she got off the Death Star II corpse. Where the f*ck did this other one come from??

Pappy Palpatine has spent the last two or three decades creating a fleet of Star Destroyers with Death Star cannons connected to them and, in that time, he couldn’t clone himself a proper body? Are you serious?? I feel like resources probably should ave been devoted to that first. Motherf*cker has jars upon jars of Snokes but you expect me to believe that they couldn't create one, legitimate, clone? Are you serous? These motherf*ckers hollowed out an entire planet and put a gun in it that use suns as bullets, but you can’t clone a decent body to put yourself in? For real?

Speaking of these Death Star Destroyers, why do they still have the same goddamn weakness of the Death Star I?? Bro, you had sixty f*cking years to fix this ONE goddamn problem and Nope! Blow up the gun, blow up the ship! My guy, two Death Stars and a Starkiller Planet but you ain’t fix this one flaw??

Okay. Okay... Palpatine’s grand plan, aside for try-trying-tryinging-tryinginging the world gun plan again, is to have Rey kill him so his Force Ghost can Force Possess her body. What is she just walks away? What is he just says no? This is a bad plan, man.

Oh! i forgot. Hux was the spy. Because he outright says it, audibly, in the middle of a First Order starship, which is notorious for having all sorts of monitoring system like cameras and microphones, right before he’s murdered for being the spy! Bruh.

Ben Solo shows up, redeemed for some reason, and promptly gets his ass handed to him by the Knights of Ren. Until Rey Force Teleports his grandad’s light saber to him, at which point his entire style changes and he slaughters his bros. MAGIC!!

We Force Draining life  to regrow my zombie body out’chea, manq!

After Rey properly Mace Windu’s Pappy Palpatine into oblivion, she dies for no apparent reason. WHY??

Wasn’t this EXACTLY what Pappy wanted? he WANTED her to kill him so he could haunt her titties or some sh*t? You did exactly the plan, man! Why didn’t it work?? PLOT CONTRIVANCE, THAT’S WHY!

F*cking Reylo, dude. F*cking Reylo...

Ben dies at the end. For no goddamn reason. And fades away to Jedi Ghost immortality. Proper Skywalker boss sh*t!

I hope he Forced Knocked Up Rey. Gotta keep that line alive and Ben was caressing her tum-tum real passionately.

Why the f*ck would she just move into Luke’s house on Tatooine? That place is the worst! it’s got terrible history with all of the Skywalkers, including Anakin! That’s just bad juju right there.

Where the f*ck did Rey get that Yellow Kaiburr crystal from?

“I’m Rey. Rey Skywalker.”

You had forty, real life years, worth of material to pull from and seven years to come up with a way to stick this landing and you sh*t the bed this hard? Really? Nothing is earned. Nothing is deserved. It’s all just a sticky wet fart.

The Verdict

Admittedly, those are issues i had as a fan. I would put on my movie critic hat and properly critique why, functionally, this is a bad film but i am too tired to do that now. Look, man, this thing has potential. There are so many plot threads that could have gone somewhere but Rise is not about that life. They’re here to do everything in their power to retcon everything Last Jedi and Kathleen Kennedy allowed to happen therein. And they do that well enough but at the expense of their own goddamn narrative. This was course correction that should have been two, entire, separate, films. So much good sh*t could have been gleaned from this narrative if it was two proper movies but corporate was like nah, bruh. Get this sh*t done. We’ll stop making these things for two years and people will forget. Nope.

You can’t forget this sh*t. I can’t forget this clusterf*ck i just wasted my life watching. And it didn’t have to be! That’s what kills me! There is more than enough in this film to redeem the franchise. If this specific story was broken up; If these plot points and characters were given enough room to breathe, sh*t could have worked! Ther eis so much fertile ground here to craft a dope story for fans, old and new but NOPE! F*ck that! Cowabunga it is! We’re going to cram all of that sh*t into one movie and f*ck you! We’re going to spend half the narrative erasing The Last Jedi instead of progressing this plot because f*ck you! We’re going to bring back someone who had to be unspoken, impossibly, resurrected to win back the fans because f*ck you! Give them some goddamn Reylo because f*ck You! That’ll shut you the f*ck up! F*ck this movie, man. This sh*t could have been special but you let an ego driven, misandrist ruin forty years of canon for the clout.

Watching this goddamn movie made me piss blood, man, that’s how much it hurt.

[brothers-all]

Memory (Tome'tayl)

Hey hey everyone! Welcome to the tie-in-collection-of-one-shots story that many of you wanted back when Aliit ori'shya tal'din ended. These won't be in any particular order, but most will take place on Kamino during training and the like. Again, the focus will be mostly on Chess Squad, but I'll probably something for the Ghost Squad as well =P If any of you have some sort of request, or something you want to see, feel free to tell me. The next few chapters won't be requests because I have some things planned out, but if I say I'll do it, I will (eventually) Okay then, if you have any questions ask just ask Chess Squad (minus Rex) Ghost Squad (minus Cody) and Mortimer are my OCs along with a few trainers and other clones. If you want, I can do some special chapters with your own OCs or cannon characters (as long as it fits the story)

...I think that's all? Sorry for the long intro, just wanted to make some things clear ^^ ANYWAY! Onwards! Read, review and above all, enjoy~

Chapter 1 After all this time

Time passes quickly in war, but everyone needs to take time to recall what happened.

"Anakin, glad you could make it."

"Of course Master. What is the situation?"

"It'll all be explained in due time. Did you leave Ahsoka and Rex on the ship?"

"No, they came to Coruscant with me. Rex said something about meeting up with Cody and Ahsoka is supposed to be with Barriss."

"I see. Well, as long as they don't get themselves in trouble."

"Have a little faith in us, Master."

"That's about as much faith as I can have in all of you."

He sighed as he opened the door, hearing the booming music, loud chatter and joyful laughter hit him soon after. The alcohol in the air was thick, but not sickly so. He saw many brothers just smiling, dancing and talking… relaxing. A few nodded at him, many didn't even pay attention and a couple looked slightly feared. Those must be pretty sober, if they're worrying about a superior walking around. But his attention was at the counter, where four brothers were already waiting.

"Hey, hey! Look who made it!" Jet laughed, turning around.

"Rex! Finally came, eh?" Cody offered a handshake and a seat near him.

"Didn't realize I had to run down here," the Captain grinned, sitting down.

"Yeah well, when we heard the 501st was coming here as well, we had to invite ya," Bull nudged him in the shoulder.

"Surprised you didn't bring anyone else," Jewels just finished his drink.

"Yeah well…" Rex looked over his shoulder, spotting a few familiar faces and a few more walking in. "They get around."

"What about Ahsoka? She at the meeting?" Cody asked as Rex got his own drink.

"She's actually meeting with a friend. Barriss Offee, I think?"

"Oh, Gree's Commander?" Jet casually twirled his drink.

"He just left I think? Him and Bly didn't look too good though," they snickered, knowing those two could hardly hold their drink.

"As long as they don't blow anything up, they're good," Rex drowned the drink and set the glass back down, getting another round.

"Oh, like the time Jezdec crashed the simulator?" the blonde actually choked on the liquid, hand over his nose to try and not spill it.

"That got out?" he managed to ask, coughing and wiping away any liquid that did manage to get out of his nose.

"Oh yeah. Your boys aren't that good at keeping quiet about stuff blowing up," Jet laughed, leaning on the counter.

"I still can't believe they managed to get Bishop drunk… He never had any issues with it," Rex shook his head, before his smile started to drop and his shoulders went slack. "…They would have loved this place…"

The 212th all shared a look of guilt and sorrow, before Cody put a hand on the blonde's shoulder, getting him to look back.

"I'm sure they're having the time of their life, watching you, knowing you're still living for them," Cody said gently, seeing the Captain give a weak nod.

"I just wish they could've gotten to meet some of the boys… Fives, Jezdec and Jesse would be such a constant headache… Bishop and Echo would probably just sigh at everyone and everything… Hardcase and Turm would finally have someone to compete with… Pion and Kix would be dragging everyone three ways backwards into the infirmary…" he mused, a weak smile making its way to his lips.

There was a short pause of silence, each man recalling the good old days, when the ten of them would mess around on Kamino and get their shebs handed to them by Mortimer. Rex turned his head slightly, eyeing the scar across the Commander's face.

"Don't want to get that patched up?" he saw the man's surprised look, and the other Ghost Squad members sharing a glance.

"…None of us do. The wounds from Felucia…" Jet was staring at his drink, voice low.

"Lander gave them to us, the only way he knew how… By saving our lives," Jewels leaned back, arm swung behind the chair.

"It's kinda like he left his mark on us. We don't want to get rid of it," Bull gave a small shrug, a distant smile on his face.

"Like you'd ever get rid of the scars, Rex. They tell our stories," Cody lightly nudged him in the shoulder, getting a chuckle out of the blonde.

"Fair enough…" he shoved the older man back, shaking his head. It eased his mind, knowing he wasn't the only one who actually treasured his scars. They started chatting about some more ridiculous stuff they've all done, complained about their Generals and their crazy plans or just plain out compared their feats.

"Times like this? Really makes me wish those idiots would be back here…" it might have been the drink talking, as Rex drowned another glass.

"You'd have your hands full. At least Commander Tano would help," Jewels slid him another drink, ordering one himself.

"Ha! She's join in the fun," Rex laughed, letting out a deep breath. "It's been a year…"

"And here we all are, still alive and kicking. I'd say we're doing pretty well," Bull grinned, flipping the glass around, signaling he's had enough. They've all been here for a while now.

"We were trained by the best," Jet added, giving a nod, but the world shook with it and he had to steady himself on the counter.

"We should visit Mortimer again sometime. Who knows, maybe he'll use one of our stories as examples again," Cody got chuckles out them, but there was so much noise around them, he was starting to get a headache.

"99 would probably find some more chocolate to smuggle in. Where does he find it?" Jewels rubbed his chin in thought, missing the grab for his drink and giving up on it.

"Think the trainers are helping him?" Bull yawned, leaning on the counter, running a hand over his face.

"Maybe… There are some good ones left, right?" Jet rubbed his eyes, trying to clear the fog but it did little to help.

"You boys are getting wasted," Rex laughed into his drink, finishing it soon after as he himself started to feel the effects.

"Some of us only get to drink here, Rex ol' boy," Cody smirked, missing the man shoulders and almost falling down the chair.

"It happened twice, Cody ol' boy," the blonde laughed, hitting his shoulder with his own.

"Still more times than us," the Commander steadied himself, blinking.

"Yeah, and it clearly shows. Now c'mon, someone needs to drive you back," Rex shook his head at how quickly they got drunk. But then again, these idiots were here before him, so they probably drank more.

"Fives, Echo, Jesse – any of you able to stand?" he called casually, throwing Cody's arm over his shoulder.

"S-Sir?" the three sat by a table, looking rather scared. They weren't expecting him to see them so quickly.

"These fine gents need some help. Looks like they forgot how to walk," the blonde smiled as the trio walked over. Fives managed to get Bull to his feet, Echo helped Jet stand and Jesse almost tripped when Jewels leaned on him.

"The 501st to the rescue again," Jesse smirked, seeing the 212th looked more green than before. Did they really drink so much, or were they just weak against alcohol? Then again, Kenobi must not have any of it on the Negotiator… Or at least none that he shares.

It took only a few minutes, but they managed to get the 212th men to the cab area. Cody had managed to sober up slightly, but still leaned on the blonde.

"You should drink more Cody – might hold your own better," Rex chuckled when he heard Bull had thrown up in a corner.

"Maybe we'll drop by the Resolute for a party," the Commander grumbled, sitting down in the back of the cab.

"We'll be waiting," Rex smirked and made way for the other Ghost Squad member.

"Thanks," Echo had said to the driver, giving him a bit of credits.

"Man, they really are bad at drinking," Fives whistled as he watched the cab drive away.

"…They were probably just drinking the strong stuff," Rex sighed, the cold breeze clearing away his own fogginess.

"What for?" Echo turned to the Captain and saw Jesse glance at the man, as if knowing something.

"…Trying to forget most likely… Probably why they invited me," Rex sighed, stretched his arms and cracked his neck.

The trio shared a look. Jesse knew of the Chess Squad, but Echo and Fives have only heard rumors from their brothers. Maybe, one day, the man would tell them what really happened…

"Remember boys, don't drink too much, but enjoy it while you can," Rex hated the sudden silence and had to break it.

"You're already leaving?" Fives raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I need to… visit a few friends," the Captain looked at the sky, a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Tell 'em 'Hi' for the rest, eh?" Jesse lightly nudged him in the shoulder.

"Haha, sure."

He walked as night fell, nodding in greetings to the City Guard or smiling at kids as they and their parents walked home. He purposely took the long way there, letting the cool air breeze past him. He could soon see what he came for – an enormous slab of Geonosian rock, dead center in the military base. It marked the names of all troopers who died in the first battle of Geonosis. No guard gave him more than a passing look as he walked up to it, scanning the many names.

He gave a weak smile, knowing their names weren't here but… it was the closest thing clones had to a place of mourning. He's heard and seen a few brothers come here, remembering their fallen and trusting the old ones, the first ones, to watch over them.

"Hope you're all doing well…" he whispered, carefully resting a hand on the stone. "And I'm doing alright, despite what you di'kute did…" he bowed his head, eyes closing. "A lot more have died, but I try and do as I promised – save as many as I can… But this war- this cursed war…" he looked up again. "I don't know if it's worth surviving… Because, what happens when it's over?" a humorless chuckle escaped him as he looked back down.

All was silent for a few minutes, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He at first through he was imagining it, maybe thinking it was one his fallen brothers, but looking over his shoulder, he spotted a familiar Togruta and a young Mirialan.

"Commander?" he was so shocked; he didn't even believe it at first.

"Sorry, I – I didn't mean to invade but…" Ahsoka bit her lip. "But the Force around you was weeping… I just- I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"…I am. Thank you, Commander Tano," he swallowed, nodding and giving a forced smile.

"Please, just Ahsoka. Like you said, I don't really outrank you just yet," she winked, her smile truer than his. "Oh, right! Rex, this is my friend – Barriss Offee. Barris, meet the 501st Captain, Rex."

"I have heard a great many things about you, Captain," the Jedi gave a bow of her head.

"Likewise sir," he saluted, his previous tension leaving.

"I won't even ask why you're here," Ahsoka laughed, and he abruptly looked away. "But c'mon, let's go. It's getting cold and I don't want to get sick."

"I'm guessing the General doesn't know you're here either?" he raised an eyebrow and she returned a sheepish grin.

"Let's keep it between us, okay?"

"As you say, Ahsoka."

He might tell her, one day. If she asks. Or maybe he won't. He… isn't really sure yet. Maybe it's better if the kid never knows… But he figured he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

Cut! Well, that was the start and that's why it's kinda of a special chapter. The rest will (mostly) be set during training and everything I won't rant here as well because I did enough of that above so... Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! If you fancy a review, do that! I'd love to hear what you think about it! Till next time~

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Attack of the Clones”

Why yes, I am doing this.  Because why not?

My apologies in advance because this post is so long...

*starts singing the Star Wars theme*

ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC!

OK, now you it’s a bad sign when they pan up.

They did it in Rogue One but I’m excusing that movie because it’s awesome

“There was no danger after all.”  Bullshit, Typo.

*Corde dies*  AND THEY BLOW YOU UP!  BOOM!

Wait, there’s an Imperial siren going off in the background.

PLO KOON!

Barriss!

Sly Moore!

LUMINARA!!!

Plo Koon’s prosthetics look terrible in the movies

Is that Uncle Ono from TCW in the hologram?

*starts imitating Ki Adi Mundi when he says “He’s [Dooku] a political idealist, not a murderer.” *

Fun Fact:  the guy who plays Ki Adi Mundi is the Ood in “Doctor Who.”  Mind blown.

I hate Obi-Wan’s mullet in this movie.

Obi-Wan’s like “freaking get me outta here” when Anakin compliments Padme

You can tell how much makeup they put on Natalie Portman in this scene.

“It’s overkill, Master.”  Obi-Wan’s the kill master...

“She hardly even recognized me...”  God dang it, Anakin.

*Jango Fett hands off the assassin centipedes*  God the green screen...

She [Padme] has the most unnatural sleeping position

Man, I feel bad for all the actors in the prequels.

How is R2 asleep and not hearing those bugs??

Fun Fact:  the SFX team used grapefruit to make the noises of the centipedes

OK, you’d be able to feel a bug crawling up your arm.

Imagine if Anakin freaking beheads Padme instead of the centipedes?

Cue end music.

“Stay here!”  BUT I...

Anakin, just fly freaking straight!

Gotta dramatically take my face cover off...

“I hate it when he does that.”

Which implies Anakin has done this before...

Anakin climbing on top of the bounty hunter’s airspeeder is almost exactly like Kanan on top of Fenn Rau’s ship in “The Protector of Concord Dawn“ except Kanan doesn’t lose his lightsaber.

OUR RIDE’S HERE!

Here’s a challenge:  try to identify all the freaking alien species in this Coruscant bar

Must be a Halloween party going on...

Did she just say “sleamo?”

Yep, I think she’s dead, Anakin.

SHAAK TI!

Yeah, you’re [Jedi Council] gonna let this horny 19 year old Padawan escort the love of his life back to her home without anyone else to help out.

GREEN SCREEEEEEEENNN!!

*Padme tells Jar Jar to fill her place in the Senate while she’s away*  Nooo....

The window cleaning droids!

Those are some huge ass robes on Anakin

Oh my God, Anakin...

“Sorry, m’lady.”  *groans*

I didn’t realize Padme’s handmaiden was crying!  Now I feel sad now!

OK, they can tell Anakin’s a Padawan:  he has his braid still in!  At least bobby pin in so that it blends in!

YOU WANNA CUP OF JAWA JUICE????

I freaking love this scene between Dexter and Obi-Wan.  Shut up.

Ewan McGregor’s got a little dimple or something on his forehead and I can’t stop looking at it.

“Hey, no droids!  Get out of here!”  says a droid

Padme just really likes wearing doilies in this movie.

AN:  Heads up, we’re only fifty minutes in at this point.

“We are encouraged to love.”  That’s a really loose interpretation, Anakin.

Take a shot every time Anakin says something really creepy about Padme in this movie.

*Obi Wan talks in the youngling class*  [gasp] Imagine if one of them is Kanan?

I don’t know whether or not he was an Initiate at this point.

*goes to consult the “Last Padawan” comic*

Wow, sudden scene change within a sentence!

SIO BIBBLE!

OH MY GOD, ANAKINNNNNNN....

The voice of Lama Su (Anthony Phelan) is so cool.

I DON’T LIKE SAND.  IT’S COARSE AND ROUGH AND IRRITATING AND IT GETS EVERYWHERE.

*DEEP INHALE*

There was literally no point to that scene other than to give Anakin and Padme an opportunity to kiss.

*whispers*  One of those clones is Rex....

So many freakin’ CGI clones...

And now a picnic...

“They [Jedi mind tricks] only work on the weak-minded.”  That’s a compliment, Padme.

“I’d be much too frightened to make fun of a Senator.”  But I am anyway!!!

*Anakin rides one of those living potatoes*  Behold, the Chosen One.

*Anakin falls off*  SO FAKE!!!

*Anakin and Padme roll around*  They’re not even on a hill!

*deep inhale*

I love how they got the same kid who played Boba Fett here back to play Boba in TCW

What’s with these weird close ups?

*Jango tells Boba something*  Please someone teach me how to speak Mandao’a.

Damn, look at the cuts on Jango’s face.

Apparently, George Lucas told Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman to improvise in the “aggressive negotiations with a lightsaber” scene but it went really NSFW really quick so they had to stop after the “negotiations with a lightsaber” line.

God, why does Padme wear that halter dress in THIS scene?

There is no reason why she should have changed from the previous scene.

God, you can tell how nonexistent the chemistry is.

“I’m haunted by the kiss you should never have given me.”  Well wait a minute, you kissed each other back and Anakin initiated it!

“My heart is beating, hoping that kiss does not become a scar.”

*GRIMACES IN IMMENSE PAIN*

God, Anakin, do you have to be so ANGRY?!?

WHY DOES PADME NOT SAY ANYTHING?!?

“You are asking me to be rational.”  YES, BE RATIONAL!!

*groans*  The dialogue in this freaking scene...

So they kinda vaguely wrap up the whole Sifo-Dyas C-plot in TCW but even then, we’re like WTH?

*Yoda says the Jedi can’t use the Force*  That’s like saying the Pope can’t talk to God.

“Jedi don’t have nightmares.”  Lies.

“I have to help her.”  *groans*

Slave I!

Obi-Wan, that lightsaber is your life.

Oh my God, the green screen!

Sorry, Obi-Wan, you would have no arm left after that stop.

Jango freaking bumped his head on the door...

What is with Padme’s costume here?

What is this explosion disc thing Jango uses to try to get rid of Obi-Wan?

*in best young Boba Fett voice* GET ‘IM, DAD, GET ‘IM!  FI-YAH!

Just a random thought:  what do the clones in TCW think of the Fetts?

I love this shadow shot of Anakin and Padme saying goodbye.

This is “Duel of the Fates!”  Why is it playing here?

Unless they’re referring to the fact that Anakin’s fate changes whether or not his mother is alive or not.  That sort of thing.

How do the Separatists not know Padme is still alive?  Unless Anakin does such a good job at hiding Padme on Naboo and Tatooine...

“The banking clan will sign your treaty!”  *in best alien voice*  ALSO I GOT MY HEAD STUCK IN A CAR DOOR!

This staccato music here when Anakin sneaks into the Tusken Raider camp is actually kinda cool.

The ten-second mother-son chemistry between Hayden Christensen and Pernilla August is probably the most compelling thing in this movie.

This music though.

Oh my God, the way Mace sits down!

OK Anakin, explain this body [Shmi’s corpse].

“OK, Hayden, just glare at the screen.  There ya go.”

“I’m good at fixing things.”  You know what you have to fix though?  Your mental state.

What is this hippie dress Padme’s wearing?

“I killed them.”  Did you kill them all?

“I killed them all.”  They’re all right, right?”

“They’re dead.”  Oh, so just the men.

“Not just the men.“  Oh, but like the old men?

“But the women-”  What?!?  But not the children!

“-and the children too.”  But they’re people!

“They’re like animals!  And I slaughtered them like animals!”  But you don’t hate them!

“I hate them!”

“To be angry is to be human.”  To kill Sand People divine.

Anakin is the worst friend ever.  His father figure is being held captive, and what does he do?  Listen to the Council like a sissy.

Oh my God, freaking Jar Jar, no...

Why does Obi-Wan’s ray shield cell spinny?

Wait, I forgot Dooku trained Qui-Gon!

“Dellow felegates.”  *immediately slams head on desk*

Oh my gosh, pterodactyls!

“I love democracy.  I love the Republic.”   I love it.. so much!

“I’m not a freaking goblin.”  says the freaking goblin.

*Anakin and Padme sneak through a tunnel on Geonosis*  This is like “The Great Mouse Detective,” where Basil and Dawson go through the sewer pipe to get to Ratigan’s lair.

When I was little, I used to be able to imitate and time the smashing machine on the assembly line.

*3PO gets into a mess*  Just... erase this whole gag entirely.

*rolls eyes loudly*

How did Anakin not see that mechanical arm swinging toward his face?

Ani, you have no arm at this point.

Imagine if Padme gets burned by lava.

None of the original trilogy happens.  Cue end credits music.

“Not again.  Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me.”

*in best Obi-Wan voice*  I hate it when he does that.

“I thought we weren’t going to fall in love.”  WHO D’YOU THINK YOU’RE KIDDING/ HE’S THE EARTH AND HEAVEN TO YA!

My love for Obi-Wan’s snark in this scene knows no bounds.

*Geonosians cheer when the Separatists cheer*  Heck yeah, I’d cheer for Christopher Lee too!

“She [Padme] seems to be on top of things.”  But not on top of Anakin yet.

[I am forcibly removed from the fandom] 

*starts imitating the nexu*

Wait, isn’t that big mantis crab thing from Ryloth?

Wait, nevermind:  the acklay are from some planet called Vendaxa.

*Padme lands in the saddle*  Sorry, you’d have no kids after that landing.

*starts imitating Nute Gunray saying “Jango!  Finish her off!” *

*The Jedi invade the gladiator arena*  HECK YEAH!

*starts naming off all the Jedi because I can*

GREEN SCREEN!

This whole scene was filmed on a green screen.

There was no point to that flip, Mace.

*Mace hits that rhino thing*  NOOOO!!!!

*Jango kills the rhino*  NOOOO!!!

Boba’s in the corner like “Whaat?  My dad just died??”

Kit Fisto’s smile.  Oh my God.

*3PO makes jokes while being dragged back to his appropriate body*  [groans] Just... kill me...

AAYLA SECURA!!!

*Ki Adi Mundi helps Kit Fisto onto the clone trooper ship*  Whaddya bet Ki Adi Mundi and Kit are like best buds?

What language is the Geonosian language based on?

“We must get the Star Destroyers back into space.”  When did your voice change?!?

“If they [the Jedi/the Republic] find out what we are planning to build, we are doomed.”  Circle inside of a circle?

*Dooku flies to his ship via speeder*  The Hoveround takes me where I wanna go...

What is this shaky cam zoom on the clones?

“We’re out of rockets, sir.”  HOW???

“Don’t let your personal emotions get in the way!”  OK, Obi-Wan totally knows that Anakin and Padme are a thing.

Sooo... why was Dooku’s ship halfway across the desert?

Because we needed dramaaa??

GREEN SCREENNNN!!!

My personal headcanon is that the clone that falls off the ship with Padme is Rex.

DOOKU’S FREAKY ASS SMILE!!

*Obi-Wan gets injured*  OK, man, get up.  You’ve survived worse.

*Anakin destroys the wire for the lighting*  DRAMATIC LIGHTING!

THEY’RE NOT EVEN HITTING EACH OTHER!

What is this Force-measuring contest between Dooku and Yoda?

There’s literally no point to it.  It’s just Dooku going “My use of the Force is bigger than yours!’

[I am forcibly removed from the fandom]

*Yoda catches the Sith Lightning with his hand*  OK, so this is totally unrelated, but in the Star Wars Force Arena game, you can get Kanan as a character, and HE DOES THAT!

FILONI, EXPLAIN!

*Yoda just jumps off the ship*  HARDCORE PARKOUR!

Why doesn’t Obi-Wan move himself and Anakin away from the falling pillar?  Are they just that injured?  Obi-Wan, you just have a cut on your arm and leg; you can move.

ANAKIN AND PADME ARE MAKING OUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YODA AND OBI-WAN!!!

“Do you believe what Count Dooku said about Sidious controlling the Senate?”  He IS the Senate!

Where are all the other chairs?

“Begun, the Clone War has.”  Best line in the movie.  It’s also the last line in the movie.

Is Mas Amedda just yawning in the background?

Padme is just covered in doilies.

IT’S OVER!

*goes and watches the entirety of TCW*

[myriadimagines]

A “Thank You” Would Be Nice

Star Wars (The Clone Wars) One Shot

Characters: [GENDER NEUTRAL] Reader x Captain Rex

Warnings: Violence, very mild swearing

Request: “Star Wars: One-shot : Captain Rex: Where the reader is a bounty hunter (Anakin's childhood friend) working especially with the Republic, but remains neutral and saves the life of Rex, in a very risky mission.” - Anon

Word Count: 1,426

A/N: I just want to point out now (because I completely forgot about The Clone Wars series I’m sO SORRY!!!) that I’m not really as familiar with The Clone Wars series. I used to watch like every episode that came out on TV but it’s been so long since I’ve last seen it !! I know the last episode I watched was when Ahsoka left the Jedi Temple (I was so angry oh my gosh I love Ahsoka) but yeah just wanted to say it’s been a while (like I’m talking years) since I watched The Clone Wars, so sorry if it’s not as accurate as it should be! And after proofreading this I feel like the mission wasn’t “very risky”, but I hope it’s still alright!

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“…y/n?”

You looked up from the sniper rifle that you were polishing and came face to face with a young man with dark brown hair and an intimidating stare. You knew that look from somewhere, and suddenly an image of Tatooine came into your mind…

“Anakin!”

Anakin grinned at you, relieved to see that you still remembered him. The two of you were childhood friends before he left Tatooine. You stood up, placing your gun down, and clapped him on the shoulder. Both of you looked each other up and down, neither of you believing how different the both of you looked. Anakin looked taller and stronger, and had a powerful aura surrounding him. You had various tattoos now, some were even on your face, which you could see Anakin was admiring.

“So I see you really did become a Jedi, huh?” you gestured to the lightsaber you could see hanging from his belt. He nodded, and jerked his chin to your sniper rifle.

“That’s a big gun you’ve got there.” he commented casually, but you knew he was looking for an explanation.

“I’m in the bounty hunter business.” you responded curtly, and you could see the surprise in Anakin’s face.

“Well, you always were a fast pod racer. Bet that comes in handy.” he said, trying to hide his surprise. Of course, you weren’t as fast as Anakin — if you were you probably would’ve become a Jedi — but you weren’t bad. You simply nodded in response, not wanting to offer any more information. You didn’t particularly like being a bounty hunter, but it paid well. You always had to be careful not to take sides. You were partial to the Republic, where most of your business came from, but bounty hunters were dangerous and you had to be cautious not to make too many enemies.

Anakin’s radio chirped a brief message, distracting the two of you.

“I’ll be right there.” Anakin responded into the radio, clipping it back on his belt. “It was good to see you, y/n. I hope to see you around again soon.”

“Likewise, Anakin.” you outstretched your hand, and he shook it warmly before running towards the speeder he had parked a short distance away. You watched his speeder disappear around the buildings of Coruscant. You reached for your sponge and continued polishing, but something was bothering you. You looked up again and where Anakin once was.

“Damn it.” you threw the sponge back into the bucket and quickly reassembled your gun. You always trusted your instincts, which was crucial as a bounty hunter, and your instincts right now were telling you that you needed to follow Anakin. You didn’t know where he was headed, and you already wasted time you could’ve spent tailing him. You quickly reached for your backpack, which had a special configuration on it for your sniper rifle. You clicked the gun in place and pulled your hood over your head, ran for your speeder, and headed in the direction that you saw Anakin go down.

“Where could you be headed…” you muttered to yourself, and as if in response you heard an explosion. Your head snapped up, and you saw a small glow of a fire in the lower regions of the city. Revving up the engine, you headed downtown.

—

“Squadron A, report!” Captain Rex barked into his radio as he fired his blaster. He quickly ducked behind the container he was hiding behind.

He was at the very edge of the city, in a dark part of town no respectable person would have the sense to be in. The buildings were derelict, and the area was swarming with criminals. Right now, the area was lit up with blaster bolts firing back and forth, with the occasional explosion from a grenade. He and his squad were trapped in a narrow street; both sides were firing at him and there was no obvious way out.

“Squadron A? Blast!” he stood up again to continue firing. “I’ve lost contact with squadron A!” he yelled to Anakin. Anakin yelled in frustration, deflecting a blaster bolt with his lightsaber before ducking down next to Rex.

“I’m going to try and come around from a different angle and find squadron A!” Anakin yelled, before somersaulting onto a low roof. Rex watched Anakin’s retreating figure, and thought about how hard this mission was going to be if even a Jedi was struggling.

He knew the mission was going to be risky, but it had gone completely awry. It was supposed to be a simple arrest of an extremely powerful gang hiding out in the outskirts of Coruscant. Of course, the mission said arrest, but Rex was given orders to terminate on site. If he didn’t complete the mission and the gang made it out alive, the Republic’s reputation would be at risk.

But damn the Republic’s reputation right now, Rex’s own life was at risk. He had lost contact with the squadron he had sent to ambush the gang from behind, and the squadron he was with right now was dwindling in size. They were outnumbered by far more than Rex had anticipated. He watched as another one of his soldiers went down, and he rushed over to him. He grabbed the soldier’s hand, but the lack of response told Rex he was already gone. Frustrated, he shot blindly to his right, before suddenly being knocked down.

Rex hadn’t even registered that he had been shot until he was lying on his back, looking into the cloudy sky. He struggled to catch his breath and tried to sit up. He finally realised where the pain was coming from. He looked down at his shoulder, where his armour was tainted by the remains of a blaster bolt. Gritting his teeth, he reached for his blaster, but it was suddenly snatched from his fingers. Looking up, he was taken aback by the sight of a hooded figure on a speeder.

You had been watching the action from an empty roof for a while now. You had arrived just in time to see Anakin jump onto a separate roof and run away. No one had noticed you, although you had been picking off anyone who shot at the small group of stormtroopers below you with your sniper rifle. It had little effect as more reinforcements came in and more stormtroopers fell. Finally, you jumped back on your speeder and decided to get into the action.

Your speeder barely fit into the street, but you used that to your advantage, knocking down anyone in front of you. You were familiar with this area of the city, and even more familiar with the criminals who controlled it. The Republic had hired you to assassinate some of them, but of course you could never reveal the Republic’s connection to the assassinations. You immediately recognise the tattoos on the faces of the creatures you were knocking down with your speeder now: they were part of a special gang.

As you approached a small group of clone troopers in the middle, you spotted a blaster on the floor next to a fallen soldier. All the other soldiers jumped away to avoid your speeder. Leaning to the side, you scooped it up and immediately began recklessly firing ahead of you. The clones behind you stopped in awe, watching as you tore down the street and took down gang member after gang member. You kept your head low to avoid any blaster bolts, and it didn’t take you long to finish off the whole street. Anymore remaining fled, and you decided against following them.

Taking a deep breath, you turned the speeder around and headed for the stormtroopers. There was only a handful of them left, and one you had seen on the floor had stood up now. You assumed he was the leader, or had some sort of higher ranking than the others, based on the blue markings of his helmet. You dismounted to approach them.

Rex froze, staring at you. You raised your eyebrows.

“A “thank you” would be nice.” you tossed his blaster back at him. He caught it deftly, and finally spoke.

“Right. Sorry. Thank you…” Rex paused, waiting for your name.

“y/n. Bounty hunter y/n.” you looked over Rex’s shoulder to the end of the street and you could see Anakin’s shadow approaching from around the corner. Hopping into your speeder, you took one last look at the soldier, and nodded at him. “I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you around, Captain.”