#like. all three of these examples are music related i'm realizing:

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

(,,uhuh tw. brief mentions/implications of s/a.)

DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT ISNT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH THAT INFURIATES ME??

Constance's arc in RTC. Literally nobody talks about it and waters her down to just being the nice mom friend™️ which completely undermines the arc she goes through of both

1. Reclaiming her innocence. Throughout the musical there's a LOT of moments that can represent that arc up until sugar cloud

2. How she wasn't happy with her life and didn't realize the good of it until her dying moments. plagued by that thought until she reaches true happiness now knowing she had a good life in sugar cloud

GGGGOD sometimes the blatant undermining of the arcs each character has (,,excluding Jane. I don't think she ever really had an arc; just. Left in despair only knowing her death and the mourning of something she can't remember, wondering if god itself had abandoned her) me so INFURRIATED LIKE RAGHAJRHRRRUJS THERE'S SO MUCH ANALYSIS POTENTIAL AND THEYRE ALL SO WELL WRITTEN TO BE RELATEABLE IN SOME SHAPE OR FORM

Connie was not all just sunshine & rainbows she was going through the mental WRINGER and struggling with her self-loathing & depression up until her death. She probably still dealt with it throughout the musical — now being plagued by even more secrets to keep & the self loathing of what happened just three hours before. (,,example is. the one scene after Ocean goes "We all died virgins" & Karnak pressures Constance a bit. God that scene makes me so ☹️)

She doesn't like. Fully reclaim her innocence & happiness until sugar cloud — which I like to personally think her letting her hair down is representation of her slowly starting to let go of it all. Just. Truly starting to feel happy, like a little kid again. Realizing she had a good life and appreciating what she had now that she's gone. What she went through doesn't define her. Therefore, she doesn't let it hold her back. Letting that inner child out for whats probably the first time in a LONG time.

And I think that's just. A really beautiful thing to her character that gets ignored a lot; which to me is one of the more relatable aspects of her character. Not realizing how much you love everything until something bad happens. From the smallest things like the feeling of getting into bed after a long day— your body finally relaxing after throbbing with pain & exhaustion all day, or even just seeing the smile on a family/friend's face after not seeing them for a while— to the more specific things such as seeing people being happy around you. Happy to be with you. All while knowing what you've gone through doesn't define who you are; letting that little kid inside of you out into the world to truly feel the warmth of the sun.

God sorry I just absolutely love Constance jawbreaker/sugar cloud had me BAWLING the first few times I heard it and I'm not prepared to sob over it again when I see RTC in february,, anyways THIS FUCKASS FANDOM NEEDS TO STOP UNDERMINING ARCS AND REALLY ANALYZE THE CHARACTERS MORE RAGGHHHHHHH

[nartml]

To Pimp a Butterfly and 1989: a rant

Listen here, three things about me are that I'm a) white as snow, b) Greek, c) still a minor.

What does this mean? It means that I obviously wasn't raised with hip-hop, and I got into Kendrick Lamar's music pretty late.

As in, early this year.

I've known of him for some time, and the moment I found out he had a Pulitzer prize at some point in late-ish 2023, I decided I had to sit my ass down and pull out Spotify.

Now, as an avid reader of both fanfiction (ao3 raised me) and books [I feel the immense need to clarify that I don't associate myself with mainstream booktok. Capitalism's consumerism has overrun that shit and all I see are the same 20 books being recycled and recommended (a substantial amount of those are Colleen Hoover and her variants). Tropes and spice* are officially the defining factors of whether a book is worth it (*your porn addiction ain't cute) and quantity is heavily prioritized at the expense of quality. Also, diversity who?], I was, for a lack of a better word, hyped.

A Pulitzer prize is nothing to scoff at in general, more so in music, more so in hip-hop.

(Edit: Upon quick reflection, I realize that putting emphasis on hip-hop can come across as coded.

I am in no way, shape, or form trying to undermine hip-hop or say that it's somehow less 'sophisticated' than, for example, classical music. I'm very aware of the amount of skill and technique one needs to write a masterful hip-hop album, and I'm not doubting that there are hip-hop artists out there who are also incredibly deserving of such a prize. I meant it in the sense that I've unfortunately never heard of another hip-hop artist who won a Pulitzer before, which is quite telling.)

That's some huge shit, and I'd be a fool not to be intrigued.

Admittedly, I didn't get on that immediately. For a while I procrastinated, because I wasn't in the mood to hyper-fixate on anything new just yet.

Which of course meant I ended up forgetting about it for a few months, because of course I did.

But then I came across a TikTok that talked about how it was insane that '1989' won the Grammy when To Pimp a Butterfly was right there.

Now, a fourth thing about me is that I don't fuck with Taylor Swift.

And a fifth thing about me is that I'm not baseless in anything that I do, say or feel, and that includes annoyance.

Her immature understanding of activism and feminism leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The way she built up her fan base around this portrayal of her as a relatable girl's girl, her refusal to accept criticism, and always making a victim out of herself (even now when she's in her thirties and is a fucking billionaire) while never using her position of power and privilege for good are all reasons that serve to fuel my dispassionate dislike.

And before any Swifties get on my ass, no, I don't think that "But she's a singer! Why are you expecting so much out of her, she isn't even qualified to speak on XYZ—" is a good enough excuse.

She has always been rich, and now she's a billionaire. There are no ethical billionaires, and that includes her.

Fame is influence is power. Uncle Ben said it all: With great power comes great responsibility.

And let me tell you, I don't see her owning up to that responsibility, especially after all that talk about how she supports women, supports the LGBTQ community, and supports the BLM movement. Has she ever actually put her abundant money where her mouth is?

I've never seen her speak about anything that doesn't immediately concern her.

Don't get me wrong. She's not the only celebrity like this out there. I'm sure there are worse cases. I know it for a fact.

To wrap this segment up before I get even more sidetracked, I'll outright state that I don't hate her, because hating her would by definition mean that I, in some way, actually care about her, and that just sounds exhausting.

Best way to describe me is indifferent, leaning towards distasteful.

She's annoying.

And that's how I feel about both her as a person and her as an artist.

I'm not denying her talent, nor her impact on the industry, nor the fact that she does have good songs that even I like.

A select few, of course, but still.

Apart from those...what? Ten songs? I have never, ever been able to listen to any other song of her's all the way through.

I get bored. They do nothing for me. They sound empty. Hollow. Plastic. Repetitive.

Her lyrics, that are praised by fans for being deep and complex, sound pretty surface level to me.

Not all of them. But I'm a sucker for analysis. A literature nerd. Greek is my native language. I can tell when something's deep and when something wants to be deep.

(Not necessarily including Folklore and Evermore in that category. Her storytelling ability is actually great.)

Her music largely sounds like it wants to be deep.

Most recent example being her latest release, The Tortured Poets Department.

Anyway, back to Kendrick.

My initial plan was to listen to 'DAMN.' first, because that's what he won the Pulitzer for in the first place.

There was a change of plans after that TikTok.

I decided to compare the opening tacks.

I put on Welcome to New York, and predictably, I felt nothing.

The rhythm is dance-y, I suppose. But there's nothing substantial about it. There's nothing exciting about it.

The lyrics are juvenile, and I get it, it's a pop song and she was in her twenties.

Nobody is expecting Shakespeare (no matter how much you scream or kick your feet, the only reason Shakespeare couldn't write Taylor Swift is because he's in another league entirely) or Odysseus Elytis. Nobody is expecting mind-blowing lyricism.

But it's the opening track to an apparently Grammy-worthy album. The very least I'd expect from it would be some additional levels of artistry.

Am I being harsh? Probably. Do I care? No.

Disappointed but unsurprised, I put on Wesley's Theory.

I ascended within the first minute.

Don't get it twisted, I barely understood shit.

Not only am I white, I am also entirely removed from America and its culture as a whole. I don't know what's going on there in y'all's daily lives.

And this was baby's first proper introduction to hip-hop as a whole.

My untrained, white-ass ear barely caught two references. I got what the gist of the song was about, and that's about it.

I had to look up analyses of the track to fully grasp what Kendrick was on about, and even then, there was obviously still a disconnect.

And I expected all of that.

I didn't expect to get hooked on that song within the first listen.

I swear to fuck, the beat is addictive. I swear to fuck, even when I was fighting to understand what the lyrics were referencing, I was having the time of my life.

Even I, an amateur in every sense of the word, could tell that there was depth and there was quality and there was intentional meaning in every line of that song.

It didn't matter that I couldn't understand it. It mattered that I knew it was there. Not because someone told me that was the case. But because it was audible.

I listened to the next track. And the one after that. And the one after that. I had listened to all of the tracks, before I knew it.

And the evident permeance of quality, of substance, carried on throughout the whole album.

It had exactly the type of lyricism I'd expect a Grammy-worthy album to have. It had exactly the amount of artistry I expected a Grammy-worthy album to have.

Even better, it had all the ingredients I expected a timeless album to have.

The poetry Taylor Swift fans insist hides in her discography, I found in plain sight within Kendrick Lamar's.

After meticulously reading the lyrics, I watched video essay after video essay, searched for analysis after analysis on this album, each time understanding the meanings behind it a little better.

Needless to say that the Grammy's are rigged and I love Kendrick Lamar.

Hip-hop is gorgeous.

[the-offside-rule]

Lando Norris - Ophelia

Requested: yes via wattpad

Prompt: ophelia by the Lumineers

Warnings: none

Lando sat with his eyebrows knotted in confusion listening to the same song for the ninth time in the last hour. You, a music student had to uncover the meaning behind a song and of course, you chose a song that was shooting around your head. Ophelia. It baffled Lando how the hell you were getting all this information from a three minute song but he watched you and stayed with you nonetheless. "So what is it about again?" he asked, wanting to understand. "It's about falling in love with fame. 'Ophelia' is a metaphor for fame. For example, he says in the song that when he was younger he fell in love with Ophelia, remember this is the idea of fame but now he knows how laborious fame was at the time but now that he does know, he should have known there were consequences to fame."

This hit Lando deep down. He got it completely with his own struggles with his fame but what he still couldn't grasp was how the hell you managed to get that. "So I get that Ophelia represents fame but how did you get all that from a name?" he asked. Lando loved listening to youu talking. If he could, it would be all he would listen to. "Well think about it Lando, from a very young age he dreamed of this Ophelia. He continues on to say that Ophelia is now his girlfriend and he feels like she is on top. I think this means that when he was first in this relationship of sorts, it was amazing. Fame was exciting but as he continues on, he realizes that fame isn't all that its cut out to be and wishes he could leave but he can't." You explained as simply as you could. "Or he could have had a crush on his babysitter and learned about the harsh reality of love?" Either way, this song was really sticking out to Lando as a relatable song. You see, Lando was in fact immensely in love with you but of course, you didn't know as all the signs flew over your head. "So what does 'The Flood' mean and why is it important?" he asked once again. "What makes you think it's important?"

"Well you have it underlined and circled." he replied, pointing at the notebook. You didn't want to admit it, but you couldn't understand what the flood was. What was the purpose of it? "You don't know, do you?" Lando laughed. You shook your head, slightly embarrassed. "Well, you said all this has something to do with fame right?" You nodded your head again and Lando continued on. "What if the flood is referring to when the band finally got famous or something like that. A swarm of support suddenly." It clicked in your mind. Lando was right. You squealed and jumped into your friend's arms. "Lando Norris! You genius! I could kiss you right now!"

"Well I wouldn't be opposed to that idea." You almost froze as his words registered onto your mind. You looked up at him, not exactly knowing what to expect. "What did you just say?" you asked. "You know what I said." he responded quietly. You sat up properly and looked at him with mixed emotions. "Lando, talk to me. You know what happened last time you didn't talk to me." you told him, rubbing his hand with your thumb. "I think I'm in love with you." he muttered. You couldn't form words into your mouth. He loved you? Was he being serious? By the looks of it, he was. Now what do you say? What does one do after something like this? "You aren't joking are you?" you asked him, slightly worried that you were being mad fun of. "I'd never joke about something like this, you know that."

"Yes Lando, but I'm just after finding out my best friend loved me back." Lando's shoulders slumped until he realised what you said. 'loved me back'. These feelings weren't one way? "So you love me too?" he asked, a glimmer of hope sparkling in his eye. "Of course I do! I thought I was making it obvious." The two of you just sat awkwardly for a few moments, still processing what happened. They both confessed how they felt. Okay, cool, cool. Now what? "Lando?" He looked over to you and hummed. "Why would you pick me?" He was taken back by the question. There were so many things but he had to tell you something. "You're absolutely gorgeous." he replied, almost breathlessly. You scoffed. "As if. I think you need glasses." Lando didn't know what came over him, but he cupped your cheek and brought your head around to look at him. You gazed into his eyes and felt instantly relieved and at home. "Y/n, you're beautiful. You may not be a model but to me, you are perfect. You're smart, you just figured out an entire storyline of a song by listening to lyrics that make it sound like a love song. You're funny, your smile is contagious, you will actually listen to me, you are perfect. You just need to let me show you that you are. Please just give me that chance."

You felt your heart flutter. He was genuine. You could tell by his tone of voice and how he was acting. He genuinely meant it. "Lando-" Youu were cut off by a small peck to your lips. Your eyes widened as you and Lando just shared a look. Did he just kiss you? Oh my god, he did! "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Lando rambled on about how sorry he was that it didn't even give you any time to comprehend what happened or even come up wotth an answer. "D-don't worry about it." was all you could come up with. Lando blinked atv youu a few times. "So you aren't mad?" he asked, a bit unsure. "Mad? Why on earth would I be mad?" you asked through a laugh. "Well I don't know, maybe because you might have had second thoughts in the last five minutes." You laughed for a while. "I love you Lando Norris. I really, really love you." Lando felt everything finally piece together. "And I love you too." he smiled. "Well then, that settles it then." You said. "Be a darling and grab me a cup of tea. I'm parched." and with that you returned to your work. "I'm your darling. Of course I'm going to make you some tea." Her darling. He liked the sound of that. He wondered how long he could stay as her darling for and the only answer that was acceptable for him was forever.

[woeful-imp]

Musical Guide to Evil

It took us way to long to figure it out but we've finally grasped enough to piece together something coherent about music in the Practical Guide to Evil. How it took us four re-reads to notice it I have no idea, but better late than never?

The Guide comes with its own internal leitmotivs, songs that make an appearance paired together with a story, and once you realize it the songs stop being just a part of the setting and become another option in the narrative toolbox.

Songs live and die alongside the stories they represent, in the Practical Guide to Evil.

The Legionaries Song makes an appearance in the first chapter, and with it, so does the story of the Legions of Terror, the armies that devastated the Callowan forces, and spearheaded the Conquest. So much so that Catherine herself is at that point dead set on attending the War College to learn from a dangerous enemy. They are strong, and the song establishes that.

The last mention of the Legionaries Song takes place right after the Battle of Kala and at this point the Legions have shattered against each other, the machine of war turned against itself, and when the song is sung then it is bitter and weary, the last notes of the Legions' story, finally slain.

Most obvious is the Girl who Climbed the Tower, which is sticks in the mind of...apparently every claimant to the title of Dread Emperor? I'm guessing it comes back so many times in the Guide because the story of the Dread Emperor is a very old one, so the groove it is set in is deep like few others. From Black hearing it even at his low point at the end of Book 5 to Catherine humming it even in Book 2 after she extorts the High Lords; and of course Akua hearing for half the story.

Which brings me to perhaps the best use of these songs as a narrative tool. When Akua, having seemingly turned coat and half-heartedly plotting in Ater in Book 7, wonders with increasing desperation: "Why wasn't I hearing the damn song!!!?"

Because you've been hearing the leitmotiv for your current story of redemption for a few books now and you haven't even realized, girl. Or did you think the Tyranny of the Sun was stuck in your head for years for no reason?

Other examples coming to mind are the Fox is King when Catherine is dueling the Wandering Bard in the Arsenal in Book 6 (it's even lampshaded and we missed it the first three times...)...She even weaponizes that by lying about it to the Bard.

One of our favorites has to be related to Cordelia Hasenbach. She notably rejects the story, or at least the Role associated with it, but Too Many Cooks is mentioned or alluded to at least twice when she is putting the screws on the Princes. It might very well be a leitmotiv to the story of the First Prince if she had picked the name in Book 5 during the Salia plots.

I think that's all of them but there are a few songs which we couldn't fit within that theory, so...well, if you have takes I for one am curious!

Also there needs to be a melody for ALL OF THESE, like, YESTERDAY.

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e3 rewatch notes

One more before the weekend...

"When I was a kid anything that would give me some type of excitement, or amusement or enjoyment would get fucked ... Sometimes they'd try too hard, or they'd make promises they weren't able to keep" - everything in Carmy's AA statement can be related to cooking, the restaurant, drawing, Claire - pretty much the sum of Carmy's parts now.

Second Carmy/Syd kitchen scene:

Carmy is always the first to ask about anyone's parents (but only to Syd) - just like he inquires about Syd's Dad, his first concern is to ask about Marcus' mom while they debate sending him to Copenhagen. Family and people, in general, are always at the forefront of his mind, while progression is always at the forefront of Syd's (even if she does genuinely cares and checks in, it's secondary)

Carmy's "I want to make a suggestion" to go out was so loaded - it was obviously a premeditated move that he wanted to do the food tour with Syd. "I think WE need to go out, and we need to try some stuff"

After he tells her he'll see her in an hour, Goodbye Girl by Squeeze starts playing, and the track ends as Tina realizes that Ebra isn't ever going to be by her side in class *dies twice*

Richie dropping off his daughter: I have a precocious 6-year-old daughter as well and.....they tried to squeeze way too many lines into Eva to advance Richie's storyline when it should have come via Tiff or something - I hate being a negative nelly, but this part is so botched/lifetime drama-y.

(His obvious tenderness is sweet though)

10:44am call with Claire: this is only 2ish hours after his AA talk - I guess the subject matter was resonating with him?

Her forcing the convo on how ingratiated she is with his family makes me throw up my hands and say "no wonder the guy had a fucking panic attack later!". I was just highlighting how in AA how his family tries too hard sometimes - this is a prime example with her "I know all the fuckin' Faks" jousting.

And my god, she knew he was about to tell her that he was busy today, and she claps back "can you not make this weird?" - it literally harkens back to his family's bullying and expectations that Carmy will pacify them. (I know she can't know all this, but damn)

This part of the conversation gets its own bullet point:

"You know, he [Fak] told me that you guys are really close and that he's your best friend" - I didn't realize the first go around how bold the attempt at enmeshment was. With Fishes as context, the toxicity levels in this conversation are off the rails.

Also, her demented smile when she says "really?" when he says "no...no, Fak's not my best friend" - aggghhhh!

"No, no. He is. He's probably my best friend"

What the hell is this? "That's interesting, to sit with, for you" with the continued weird little smile -this isn't flirting, this is her relishing in the fact that she can manipulate him.

Why didn't I clue into how caustically fucked this scene was the first time? I think I was so distracted by the whispy dialogue and cadence of the conversation that I actually blacked out of the dialogue. Thank goodness for subtitles, because this script is mildly psychotic to read.

I know Storer said that one of the themes of this season is "winning is losing" - Claire is definitely playing to win at all costs. Is s2e10 showing that she lost? Or am I sitting through this dialogue again next season? I NEED TO KNOW.

Anyways, Secret Teadrops by Martin Rev (google the lyrics) plays as sydney enters Kasama - God, the music suggests she was thrilled to be spending a day out of the usual context with Carmy, and her checking her phone constantly is killing me.

Twenty Five Miles by Edwin Starr starts playing at the start of the food montage, just as Sydney gets the text from Carmy that she'll be doing it alone.

"I've been walking for three days and two lonely nights, and you know that I'm mighty mad"

After the owner of Avec tells her that she needs a great partner above all else, the lyrics blare again with "although my feet are tired, I can't lose my stride" - she can't abandon faith in Carmy just yet.

After the Pelican meats scene where the butcher (I forget his name, sorry!) tells Syd that he and his wife lost their restaurant in Bucktown after a business partner cut and ran, the song again blares with "I'm SO tired, but I just can't lose my stride"

Syd starts to adjust her language to "I'm not exactly solo" in the next restaurant scene- ugh - painful.

Enter conversations about profit sharing. Naiya assumes that she and Carmy are INVOLVED involved, and when she finds out they're just "gentleman's agreement" partners, she basically tells her to watch her back. Syd registers the statement, but looks so dejected, like she knows she's on a fool's errand now.

The lyrics flare one last time simply with "I've got to walk on"

Cue Carmy's phone going to voicemail as she has the jitters on the loading dock. She looks so sad, but also resigned to her fate at this point.

Sydney calls Marcus right after trying to call Carmy looking for any kind of sign or reinforcement. We're at the triangle again, with Marcus interpreting it one way, and Syd....really not reading anything into it at all.

I feel like Fak making fun of Marcus for "looking forward' with that big, dumb smile on his face means he knows Marcus' affection for Sydney.... and I'm starting to realize all the plots I don't like are the result of Fak's intuition and/or meddling.

Syd awkwardly trying to poach BOH workers is adorably baller and shows how aggressive she is just now realizing she needs to become- and she's so terrible at it, and I love her.

Future Perfect by Duretti Column (what an awesome deep cut) playing - I love that this part of the montage is Syd diving deep into herself and her more analytically-bent creative process and fuck everyone else. It's just her carrying the creative load of the restaurant right now, but she's truly free.

Lyrics repeat "You tell me stories, you speak in pictures"

She's being absolutely present ("Don't live in the future") and letting the food and the city that birthed it speak to her honestly and it's just so beautiful. The old family pictures surface in her memory alongside the plates she's crafting - her own contribution to the chaos menu, her past and present combined, her future (The Bear) undetermined.

Back to The Bear with "Make You Happy" by Tommy McGee playing in the background - I feel like enough ink has been spilled on this scene, but honestly read the lyrics here - ack.

One small observation after Carmy says "I'll let you know" - in the background, Marcus looks completely defeated, Fak's suppressing a laugh or something, and we get Richie's "ooooooohhhhhhh!"while Carm gives him dagger eyes. Y'all....these are not great men.

Syd rightfully realizes she needs to get the fuck away from everyone in that instant if she's going to do anything productive with the inspiration she's culled from her day of exploration and calls in the favor from the kitchen. I love that it almost immediately cuts to her there with her emotional support spoon 🥺

The ravioli failure - i.e. the fantasy vision of the food she had on the plate during her journey day not matching the reality of what she can craft on her own = the fantasy vision of the restaurant/life she could craft with Carmy not matching the reality of what she can is forced to craft on her own.

Oof, taking a break for a few days now....

[lauren-no-why]

17, 19, and 2 (or 3 if that works better. ik we're kinda limited on options) for lord huron?

17: A fandom take I didn’t think about until I saw it, and I fully agree with

Actually, the dual narrative purpose of a lot of the songs is what comes to mind here. When I was listening to everything, piecing together my best possible interpretation of the storylines, I didn't see how completely purposefully some songs are written to be from one character's perspective and yet be used to illustrate another's. It's like the band created a bunch of fictional artists and their music, and then used those fictional artists' songs to fucking… make a fandom playlist for their own characters?? It's hilarious and I love it but man, didn't see how it was being done until I think I read Kirb talking about it at one point and now I'm 100% behind that being the rationale for a lot of the songs being presented the way they are. Like, well, I know we're all sick of The Night We Met but obviously it's the perfect example of this and I should have realized after seeing the music video just how widespread this is throughout at least Vide Noir and probably Long Lost.

19: Favorite headcanon

Oh my goodness, how do I pick. Well, I think it has to be everything I've come up with for the Redmayne boys, since they lack backstory. Again I will point people to this fic as a place to get at some of what's going on in my head for them.

But I'll also give a tiny characterization rundown for the two that canon gives us nothing on:

Alex - oldest of the three. Quiet, kinda stoic, but absolutely fiercely dedicated to keeping the gang united, functional, vicious, and yet like, a whole thriving little found family community in a world where everything is stacked against all of them. Religiously (not literally religious, but, cultishly? lmao) dedicated to the World Ender. Sociopath with low empathy but really really good at caring for the people around him to the point where he can in fact seem soft and even warm. He's the big supportive pillar for the gang and he's basically the reason that the Redmayne family unit is so cohesive. Functionally aromantic in that he just has more important shit to take care of and also I'm not sure he's like, fully capable of relating to people in a normal way anyway. He got picked to lead for a reason and he's extremely good at doing that, and a lot of people have suffered as a result, and for these boys and girls, that's a very very good thing.

Dale - middle boy. Brilliant, creative, witty, but it's all sex drugs and rock and roll for him. Keeps up with politics and local events primarily as a way to figure out how to strike and where in order to cause the most damage to whoever the gang goes after. Responsible when he has to be, but he'd rather be high and writing songs and playing shows and feeling all the energy from the crowd - or all the energy from the rest of the Enders as they ride out on the streets at night, howling at the stars, keeping the city under their control. Some who knew him as a kid probably are very disappointed that he's "squandered" all his creativity and intelligence but he'd prefer to say he's doing it exactly right, because the freedom of being a World Ender and the ability to hit back at society for all it's done to keep the people down is far more important to him.

2/3: favorite fic I've read or written myself

Hhhhgh there's so little to pick from, this feels unfair to the handful of really lovely people who have written anything at all to have to pick one! So first off, if you've written fic, I love you. If you haven't written any but are thinking about it, please, this desert is so dry and I am so thirsty.

But uh, I'm not going to pick one of mine, that feels even more cruel. No no, I absolutely adore your little Dale-centric thing, actually. Like I said when I read it, it just feels very spot on, very World Enders, having an entire conversation while some dead person is just casually burning away there, and, I don't know, I need more Enders, I need more Dale, this fic hits the spot. Lots of spots. It's been a bit since I re-read it actually, guess it's time to go do that haha.

[papercranesandpride]

Hello loveless, aplatonic, and/or aromantic people. If you're all three, that's ideal, but I'll take one or two. I have a question for y'all. What media do you like?

I ask because I've realized that every single thing I've become hopefully obsessed with has insubstantial romantic and platonic relationships, if not none at all. Now granted, my definition of insubstantial is not exactly the allo definition—you just have to have two people stand next to each other and allos will see a full relationship there. But still, everything I truly love has underdeveloped, non-existent, or not emotionally intimate relationships. That's not exactly the most common in media, so I am wondering if any of y'all have suggestions.

If you want examples that make it clear what my threshold for insubstantial is, go ahead and read below the cut, but if you've already got stuff in mind, feel free to suggest without reading them.

1. A Series of Unfortunate Events. My first love. It's mostly the familial relationship between the Baudelaires (weirdly I'm not afamilial? Which doesn't make a lot of sense that I can do one kind of emotional attraction but not any of the others, but hey, that's how I am) and then the relationships between the Baudelaires and the adults in their lives, who are varying degrees of helpful. Yeah, they do eventually get friends/love interests in the Quagmires... But tellingly I tend to forget the Quagmires even exist. They're mostly McGuffins, anyway.

2. Phantom of the Opera. Yes, I know, famous as a romance musical and a love triangle. But to me? Raoul is Christine's security blanket/person she's codependent on, but I don't actually feel that much chemistry outside of codependence. And I love codependent relationships. And The Phantom? Yeah stalking is not love. And her friendship with Meg is a whole one song. Not exactly developed.

3. Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. His wife dies pretty early. He has no friends. And the music fucking rocks. Enough said.

4. Welcome to Night Vale. Yes, Cecil has a husband and a lot of friends, but you don't actually see that much interaction between them. Mostly he talks about them, and while yes, he's a radio personality who overshares about his relationships and is not entirely professional, he still talks about them like the subjects of a news story moreso than just the way people talk about their loved ones. If that makes sense. It's stories about the town that may involve witnessing relationships, but you never quite get that depth or POV thing.

5. Matilda the Musical. She's got a whole one friend, who she never actually wanted to be friends with. Said friend just kind of declared that they were friends and didn't take no for an answer. I know no aplatonics can relate to that /s

I could list a bunch more, but that's probably enough

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary361

9/15-16/24

sunday - monday

sleepyyyy...

it's ... 1 pm ... i am trying to do an all nighter but i don't think i can do it... dang...

i worked on music and stuff, i played more sh3, i went back to the pc version i updated my drivers it seems to be a little better at least ummm...

not much else... i'm actually so tired suddenly it hurts almost, i just want to sleep, my skin feels gross, i just want to sleep.

i just washed my face. feeling a little better.

thinking about how the whole electroclash thing right now might be going up in flames faster than anyone thought. it's hard to say that seems like it would be sad because a lot of them might deserve to have their spot blown up i guess. deserve feels harsh but i don't know what other word to use. i guess i could say it's fate, it seems fated that this will go poorly. it's sad how good the music, how bad the scene seems broadly, or i guess, that it's not as popular as it could be, and there's people with people already into them, already getting eyes and stuff, like sam hyde and shed theory, so they go over to them to get more attention, and those people let them get that attention because working with new people doing new stuff is going to legitimize them slightly, it's just gross, unpleasant, on top of that there is of course the likelihood of sexual abuses. i don't like even having this in my head, but other people do and it's like the flu, it just goes from one head to the next. "explain the allegations" and then no one says a thing, messages deleted, you're like "what are you talking about" and then it's like, tweets from months ago, totally vague, deleted accounts, it's not even that it's 'shady' it's that there's so little, it's like, everything's kind of reaching a point of eternal if you know you know, and it feels like this doesn't stem from some conscious decision as much as like, okay, this is semi unrelated, it's also very related but this example is more about the dynamics of this, the hellp released a music video on dvd, no one has ripped it and uploaded it, someone ripped it, and is literally scared of putting it on mega and needs someone else to do it instead because... i dunno, they say it feels like instant gratification, and there's real fear, there were also multiple days where this person struggled to figure out how to rip a dvd. which is fine, or whatever, they don't need me to sanction what is and isn't okay but that's not the object i'm getting at, it's really just like, it feels like people are currently very bad at stuff i might describe as like, well i don't even know how to describe it. it's on one level almost a technical feeling failure, and then on the other, there's something that feels like willful ignorance, remaining confined to certain avenues of like, communicating, certain methods, almost like... yeah like they imagine the information will flow if they remain in a certain region, like twitter or whatever, the information will materialize, the truth will emerge, not realizing that not everyone knows, something might need to be surfaced at all. it's weird weird weird.

this song is good ,

i #likeit.

i also read this, it was posted by someone who i am in a server with but scarcely know:

i wasn't so sure about it until the ending, i was basically enjoying it, but the ending made it very beautiful, the three of these people as messages constantly traveling to one another, back and forth, never meeting, noncommunication, forever sending/speaking oneself without oneself, super-reduction.

here's a scan of 2 pages of a book of photos, titled "70's tokyo transgender".

i quite relate to her. i really love her outfit, and that collar.

i've just downloaded i saw the tv glow. i have a lot of friends who hate this movie, i think maybe i am going to agree with them and maybe that's no way to go into anything, i'd like to be wrong, or i don't know. i know too much about the film, there is this sense that, no matter what, what it does, i will not find it....maybe that is the final word on it, i will not find it. what it does, i will not find. or i'll see, and not sense, it's going to be like that. it might miss me, or upset me, i feel like though, the upsetting would mean it works? or it's proven something? we will see i guess. suddenly i am less tired. stupid how these things can go.

well i've watched the film. i don't know what to make of it, it's got so much around it, it's good i waited because there's less surrounding it, still, though, it comes with baggage, the way it was wheeled around and explained even before it came out, it carried that baggage, or some. it feels meaningless though, that's the feeling i get from it, meaningless, and it brings forth pity for owen, of course. i don't know, it just makes one feel bad. i also don't think the movie's as simple as people make it out to be, as in, i don't think it finds owen entirely wrong to be afraid and run away, to say this is reality, to have memories of parents, that part touched me a little, i remember playing in the snow, cooking with my mom, the mom is something hardly examined in the film, her death, it feels like that's part of the impossibility for owen i guess. not some guilt just, never attempting to begin dealing with things. maddy is the same way though, i don't think they really... i don't know. if you view maddy as correct, it poses the notion that to transition, and i guess that this intense metaphor taken up, this is all super-human, super-real, you transcend, maybe there's some kind of attempt at a dialogue between these notions and the notion that you're going to be you, also, that there's a history? are we to discard the histories? i can't tell. i can't, at least. but my history isn't so rigid anyways. i was a girl before, sometimes, i guess i was less afraid than owen, or i got over it quicker. the fear in owen is kind of, well everyone i know says it's cruel, by the end, it really is, it feels hateful, help me you need to help me i'm dying, i've seen people say 'they didn't help themselves', i can't understand that. it feels didactic, it's trying to teach you how to be yourself, if it were wholly committed, it would abandon the fuzziness of maddy's character, perhaps i'm too interested in nuance and hallucinating that fuzziness. i can't tell. my friend says he feels it's muddy too. i guess i'm at least not alone. the movie makes me think "i don't know" because i can't tell, am i supposed to see that, being what "i" "am" and experience recognition? because i felt what i recognized was some tulpa a bunch of trans people on twitter have, of how badly things could have gone. of some person unnamed, maybe a vague memory of a cluster of negativity, it feels like a meditation on that, rather than questioning why it was born at all. i keep saying i don't know. i said to my friend, it felt like someone's episode preserved in amber. i've been thinking about silent hill 4 lately, and how henry is nobody, he's so nobody it hurts, he's actual, because every one of us reacts incorrectly to things, at some point, we're obliterated by events, and we just travel through them, the terror and abjection, sad and grey transitory points, ambulate until you stop. it's only real when you're at that point of total evaporation. here, there is too much content, the suffering is too pointed, it's all about something. for others, is it the primary thing? sometimes, i feel so ugly i think i have to die. some days, i have to rescue my friend from a club while he's high on ketamine with my girlfriend's brother. in either case, i am the same, in either case, i'm nothing at all, i'm just breathing air, exhaling other stuff, spacing out and then focusing. maurice blanchot's thomas the obscure gets at the sensation of living. other books do too. clarice lispector is a luminary as well. this wants to explain to you how to live but it seems to not understand, or when it briefly does, i don't know, the fact it gestures at it, and walks past it, betrays the not understanding maybe. it would be in the non-sense of it. it's all too well put together. but i keep wondering, i don't know why it's so pathetic, or maybe i do, it's sad to see some affective range squashed down to one thing. i got disgusted at one part, where owne says, i have my own family, i love them more than anything else, then making a face while holding a cardboard box containing a samsung tv.

the face is "i just lied, or i am so disgusted by what i have said" or whatever, and it made me upset, because something bothers me profoundly about the idea of a person having children and resenting their children, maybe that's the point, that you become a worse person forever when you deny yourself. but it feels so cruel, it's this thing that's like, it's good you're afraid, it's good it's painful, because that means it's "actual" and "true," as if this isn't a cruel way of thinking, as if this isn't some nightmarish christian vision of the world that subjugates everyone to some terrible struggle of constant observation of the dimensions of your hell to enjoy some kind of truth, or that you are liberated after, it promises heaven, maybe not, maybe it does gesture at the process of the whole thing, as in, a process of pain or pleasure or nothing, of every day. it feels zeroed in on the transcendence, though. or some supposed transcendence. maybe i am not enough to know that feeling, maybe i am some minor thing, i can't tell. but as i think this film out more, or as i wander sleep deprived in circles around the pile of corpse-images that this film is, well i guess i feel worse. it reminds me of all the discourses people used to have on twitter, they still must be having them i've just stopped looking, the stuff like, it's too late, or the stuff like, you'll never be what you thought you would be (who ever is?), all that, it's all that, it's people's nightmares, it's like a figment you can imagine to torture yourself. it's like a folk tale, is the "repressor" a folk tale? it gestures at letting itself be purely about the abjection, the pain of not being able to, which might be more open, and freeing for people, to see some tragedy play out, without goal or social good in mind, it would make the moment where owen screams at the child's birthday go over better, screaming "mommy" out of pain instead of expressing pain to show you, you'd better not be this. there's a point where there's chalk on the ground, it says, you still have time left, but there's only so much filled in with chalk on that length of road. it's all limited. it's an insane vision of life, it's just a life lived under terror rather than... i'm not sure. when i attach things like this to philosophers, i promise i'm only trying to get at how they formulate things as a way to get past an issue. with bataille, he wants terror, he loves terror, and horror, wrongness, i do to, but he embraces it, surviving it, bringing to mind toreadors killed by bulls, this is one image, and the eye shot up to the girl in story of the eye, and she placing it in her vagina, life at the excesses, pregnant, bursting. the fear of schoenbrum is one which really aligns itself with the fantasy of the suburbs, that this is all just so, here are the bounds of possibility, to be queer is almost infinite youth but only if you admit it to yourself before a certain point. it is a little hideous, once again, it is cruel, cruel without...pleasure? if it seemed to hate anyone, if it had the desire to laugh, ever, outside of one or 2 times, if it laughed or were actually funny, would this solve some issue? if it knew what it was, if it knew this terror was as funny as it is pathetic, could it dredge something up out of itself? i can't tell.

i keep thinking about it, because i kept seeing people say, this movie really proved to me, what i am, this movie made me know, this movie saved me, this movie is going to save people. it might save people so the last one i have no issue with and maybe if it does it is valuable no matter what? i dunno, but i kept seeing people say, this will mean something, and i just think i have to come to terms with the fact it means nothing to me, which makes me feel cruel and terrible. because it makes me see a lot of people who feel that way, i don't know, i want to beg them to think of things differently, that the world isn't such a fucking nightmare, at least, not in those terms, it's not a nightmare of being too late, it's not a nightmare of fucking fomo, it's not a nightmare of twitter discourse come to life, it's a nightmare of these disparate visions wrestling in darkness, it is a nightmare of the fact that you are all the things behind you, or, they are the particles and history and context that add up to right now and as the event arrives, any, crossing the street to deaths in your life you are evaporated and that fine mist, the fine mist is made up of those things in miniature, impossible to taste, or sense, impossible things, they go somewhere from there, and you condense, it occurs again. it is that terrible wandering, dancing, leaping, whatever. it is a beautiful and wretched process. it does not care for that. it is locked inside a world of fearing what you missed out on in highschool, the people you don't know anymore, it is a dumb film. it is a dumb film.

though i quite liked connor o'malley. he was funny. his ability to be funny is muscular though, it is by force, a break-in, into an otherwise... whatever thing. one last note about that scene with the chalk, owen is standing right on the threshold it is so painfully, dreadfully obvious. laura palmer in fire walk with me expresses so many torments of being trapped in the suburbs so much better... or being trapped at all, being made to be someone. thinking of laura makes me want to cry. the film makes leaps at lynchisms (supposedly, i suppose i saw them but they felt so not-that (they felt how... direct to tv movies feel when they try something that can't work?? (donnie darko as directed by the sy fy channel??))) but doesn't know why lynch works. the soundtrack also, was a mess. the film ending with owen getting to watch their memories of their favorite kid's show as they remember it in a tv in their chest is infantilizing and hateful almost. yukio mishima made great art about the terror of aging, of losing the luster of one's flesh, the anxiety of losing yourself to time. he always knew the folly of the terror, he knew his own stupidity, constantly, you can see it in the book star, it's staring him in the face, his impending failure. so he kills himself. what else are you to do when you are afraid of such a thing, but die. this film contains a lookist heart. if it were 10% more evil, it would contain subliminals telling you to begin mewing.

i have to suh-leep now,

so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cringelordofchaos]

(copied from my own comment on the "TMF ADHD Jake Sterling" video because I'm way too lazy to write it all down again. this is in relation to the HC of him having ADHD that I will self project onto :)))

ADHD Jake Sterling thoughts

I LOVE THIS

Ok while him spacing out often could very much be explained by just the situation he was put in, it could also be adhd. But he zones out a _lot_ and its worth pointing out. Hes barely paying attention to his surroundings lol

Hes also very passionate about stuff to the point of obsessions to the point of people making fun of him for it (like with daisy and music (yes you can hyperfixate on people)), most people with adhd have hyperfixations and such (obviously neurotypical people can too, just pointing it out)

Ive also heard of someohe saying he could have RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). People with adhd oftentimes struggle with RSD. Rsd can make some people be really anxious when it comes to having to deal with rejection or others negative opinions on them to the point of extreme insecurity. This can make people with rsd people pleasers as well and feel guilty almost all the time. People with adhd are much more likely to have rsd. Of course jake could be neutotypicsl snd his rsd might be very well be explained by his backstory, but like ive said before, i just wanted to point it out. But him havig rsd kinda makes sense considering how hes so afraid of asking daisy out and stuff, and also how he was so guilty of what hes done (of course these things could very well be explained by other factors)

He also sometimes sort of.. misses social cues?? Or like,, be generally oblivious. For example, when he talked about losing milo in the soup isle, he didnt seem to realize it wasnt funny to others at first. Also because in episode 11 when hailey went ON to talk about how shes been thinking of Jakes apology and everything, and making it VERY clear that she understands jake and how she felt sbout his apology, he didnt tske the hint and instead hsd to ask for direct clarification to see if Hailey forgave him. This could be a mix of being spcially oblivious+ rsd. A,so i forgot to say: neurodivergent people, especially neurodiverse, often miss social cues snd have harder time socializing. So felt like it was worth pointing it out at least. Also idk if this is relevant st sll but hes a horrible liar lol

Also this is not related to him having adhd but just him being neurodivergent. And its about him having hallucinations. This might be very far fetched but he mightve hallucinated those three guys in episode eleven to be drew henry and liam for a brief second when they werent?? Or im looking top much into it and he simply thought it was them because he didnt see them properly and they had the same hair colours. Idk

Another thing is emotional dysregulation/being more prone to emotional outbursts. I think Milly shows this well but jake might have it as well?? He did get really angry suddenky at episode nine, and he does seem to get really excited when it comes to music or daisy

Hes a bit impulsive, suggested by all the nonsense he spouted out in episode nine, because he didnt think straight, and he didnt think it through. This could also be a combination of emotional dysregulation as well. And just overall pressure he received

He also stims sometimes s bit though rarely (like in episode nine, episode eight and probably more)(though granted neurotypicals stim too)

Also his experiences of being bullied and being so lonely, and having to learn to mask yourself and pretend to be someone youre not in order to fit in.. i can definitely relate to that (and many ND people in general can as well).

Also i think TMF might be a nd allegory, seeing as the message of the show is practically to just BE YOURSELF and accept yourself and stuff which granted is a universal experience but its definitely more prevalent in nd and queer stories

(Sorry for all the grammatical errors! I wasnt too careful while typing this, i have butter fingers and autocorrect is currently not doing me much favours.)

Edit: hes also hyperreactice, which might be a part of hyperactivity

[goose-exclamation-point]

random opinion post about celeste difficulty namings

i have come to a realization that this is MY blog so i can write about whatever i want. insert an evil and mischievous grin

In Modding communities, finding a working system to classify the difficulty of mods is something pretty important, and the celeste community sticks to a handful of names for substantial difficulty stepping stones, being Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, Expert, and Grandmaster. These five were established by the 2020 Spring Collab, and since then have become the norm. However, as the community ages (holy fuck, its been three years since spring collab??) players naturally get better and mappers naturally feel comfortable making harder stuff. I am now going to discuss why I do not like the names for 99% of the harder stuff :)

obligatory note is that these are all opinions and all in good fun im not gonna explode if someone calls a celeste map astral or anything its just something which lightly ticked me off so hey thats why i write about it

One point which I'll often come back to is the usage cases of the first five difficulties. Beginner, Expert, and Grandmaster are all titles, you can call yourself a Beginner at Celeste mods, in the same way a pro chess player could call themselves a chess Grandmaster. These are subtle, but in my eyes help establish and ground the difficulty names, in my eyes if you told someone "I'm a celeste expert!" versus "I'm a celeste grandmaster!" they could probably understand grandmaster as being better, due to it's usage in other mediums. As for Intermediate and Advanced, these are words just defining skill levels. The important part though is that these have a precedent of being used and having meaning, look up advanced or intermediate on YouTube, and you'll find a lot of educational videos on things like "Advanced English Learning Practice" or "25 phrases every Intermediate English speaker must know", so on. Now for the specific GM+1 Names I don't like: Celestial, Astral, and/or Stellar: These ones I see a lot, and they feel like very weird cases. All of these are... Not skill titles! But instead words used to describe space????? When I hear "Astral Celeste Maps", the first thing that would come to mind (especially if this was my first time hearing the term) was maps relating to or themed after space, but nope! they're instead used for really really hard celeste maps. These are somewhat titles (calling yourself an astral just makes me think of a sci-fi movie), but their titles aren't for skill levels in any way, Looking up "Celestial Difficulty" on YouTube won't net you any other communities or the like which use these as difficulty markers. Maybe one community here or there use them but I doubt they are nearly as prominent as "Grandmaster" for example. Virtuoso: This one's better, although I'm still not a fan. Virtuoso is defined as someone who excels in the technique of an art, in particular a form being in the sciences or arts, also typically used in musical cases. This is a good start, and writing this has made me like the term slightly more knowing its definition, but it still falls under an arbitrary line in my eyes. What defines Virtuoso as being harder then Grandmaster? From Beginner up to Expert, I feel like the definitions of the words naturally place them in that order of difficulty. Grandmaster can be seen as arbitrary yes, but it's already been established so in my opinion there isn't all too much you can do. If you wanna hold a campaign to remove all usage of the term 'grandmaster' from celeste modding so there are more natural stepping stones from beyond that then be my guest. To get to the point, theres nothing in the definition of Virtuoso which places it as harder then Grandmaster. once again my opinion but comparing a status from international competition in a game (Grandmaster) to a word defining skill in an art (Virtuoso) feel arbitrary in my eyes. virtuoso is also goofy in my eyes so i just dont like it because of that ultimately though writing this has made me realize im fine with virtuoso but oh well. also if you knew what the word virtuoso meant without having to look it up i do not believe you are real sorry </3

yeah thats it thats the post i just kinda wanted to 'rant' about Celestial Astral and Virtuoso theyre goofy lets just stick to "Super Grandmaster" thnx, id be interested in reading someone's thoughts on the term virtuoso but otherwise goodbye have a nice night

[peachfiend]

okay first, spoiler warning! talking about season two here don't read if you care about spoilers

I haven't seen very many people talking about the music of this season/series, and while i'm certainly not the most experienced when it comes to musical analysis, but i have noticed some things!

Particularly relating to what i'm calling the "love motif" from here on out. It's the first three notes in the violin music that plays at the end of the blitz scene in season one, right after Crowley returns the books to Aziraphale. That is not the only time we hear that group of three notes and it's making me go insane for a few reasons

the most obvious two examples we hear this theme play are in season two episode two, and season two episode four.

Really only one of these is actually SIGNIFICANT in relation to Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship but i'll talk about them anyways. In episode two, we see a lot of Aziraphale's transition towards being actually "on the same side" as Crowley. He eats human food for the first time, lies to heaven, and most importantly- realizes that Crowley isn't quite as bad as he insists he is. Crowley didn't kill the goats, he only transformed them into birds. And as soon as those goats are transformed back into their true selves, we hear the love motif. All of the music beforehand is tense and suspenseful strings as Aziraphale attempts to walk away from Crowley. We as the audience are supposed to believe Crowley's insistance that he is evil. He isn't good.

And then a bird bleats like a goat. And Aziraphale turns them back into their true forms and we hear it; those same three notes from the blitz scene. There's more support in the bass this time, but that only serves to flesh out the tune and continue to make it unique.

In my opinion this isn't Aziraphale supposedly falling for Crowley significantly earlier than many expected, I'm of the opinion that he fell somewhere before the french revolution, but realized his feelings during the blitz. However, to me, this is the moment that Aziraphale realizes he can trust Crowley to some extent. He may not be the angel Aziraphale once knew, but he certainly still has some good in him. Aziraphale can allow himself to befriend (and eventually fall in love with) Crowley because of this moment, and the music depicts that perfectly. The moment is short, but it's sweet and impactful

Season two episode four's moment with the theme is a lot less thematically important; it's the flashback to the blitz scene but from the zombie's perspectives. The motif plays in a traditional minor key, as we witness Aziraphale and Crowley walk off together from a hidden and blurry perspective. This doesn't really show much about their relationship, but certainly is another example of the motif being used.

This isn't the only time the motif is used, though. I wouldn't be surprised if I missed a few examples of it, but I certainly noticed a few.

The motif plays twice in episode six, which is not surprising in the slightest to me, knowing the ending 20 minutes

The first time is plays is while Crowley is tidying the bookshop, in the short period after Aziraphale has left to talk to the metatron but before Maggie and Nina come to demand he actually communicate for once in his goddamn life. The motif plays on cello three times in a row and he switches the bookshelves back from the ballroom decor to their regular shelves and moves an armchair back to it's usual place. it's a variation on the theme we hear in the blitz scene, sure, but it's there. I honestly just think this one is really sweet; Crowley is tidying up the bookshop Aziraphale cares so much about, even if he certainly doesn't. It could imply that one of Crowley's love languages could be acts of service, but i haven't deliberately looked for enough evidence throughout the series to conclusively say that's the case.

The other time I noticed it play is... a lot less obvious. I could be wrong honestly, but if i'm right it absolutely HURTS.

A minor key version of the love motif plays just as Aziraphale enters the elevator up to heaven. It sounds a lot less eerie than the zombie episode version, and a lot more regretful to me. But it's so quickly drowned out by choral voices singing in anticipation, then as the shot switches from aziraphale to Crowley/Maggie and Nina it changes again to something melancholic.

However, heartbreakingly- There is absolutely none of the motif during Aziraphale and Crowley's kiss. Violins and choral voices sing, and i've just now noticed that some of the vocal progressions in the elevator/in the kiss are very similar (which might mean something- or might just be that it's a cool sounding melancholic choral bit), but there is NOTHING of the love motif in their kiss. Nothing I could even possibly spin into thinking "Oh, it's just distorted/in a minor key", there is nothing. This kiss is not one of love. Not even one of regretful, painful love. It is a goodbye, it is a plea for aziraphale to just realize what he is losing, but it is not something coming from love.

And doesn't that just HURT

(I can only hope that we'll be able to hear this motif in season three, can only hope that just maybe they'll be able to kiss again and we'll hear it play in something epic and beautiful. But if it does play, then that only feels like it proves the lack of love in this current kiss which will just be pain all over again)

I'm gonna watch through season one again specifically looking out for the motif, and probably keep an eye out when i inevitably watch through season two again. If anyone else noticed the motif play at other points lmk and i will update this/make a new post as a sequel

EDIT: Found some season one examples!

I decided to check the bandstand scene and the “when i’m off in the stars, i won’t even THINK about you” scene, the motif is there in BOTH. It’s much more obvious in the bandstand scene, though not quite enough for me to pick up on it when i wasn’t looking explicitly for it. On the bandstand is the variation on the melody that stays the most consistant to when we first hear it- it’s almost just violins, just in a slow and regretful minor key. It’s not surprising to me in the slightest, though the fact it plays in this scene certainly helps to pad out the likelyhood that this is all intentional. Composers are smart as hell, it likely is.

In the “when i’m off in the stars” scene, it’s a LOT harder to notice. That scene is so loud and emotional it can be hard to pick up on what's being played at all, let alone the motifs they hold. This is another moment i'm really not sure i'm actually correct on, but again- it's another emotionally heavy moment for the pair where a set of strings plays three notes in a similar pattern to all of the other times the motif has been noticed (although in this case it's on a lower set of strings, and is sandwiched within the much more unique music for this scene specifically. It's not at the beginning of the music, unlike the other examples.) I'm curious as to if the hiddenness of the motif is meaningful in this scenario, but considering that it looks SO clearly like a breakup to quite literally everyone watching (ie the dude who says "it's not worth it" to aziraphale immediately after Crowley leaves) i think it may just be that the romantic tensions are so obvious in this scene that it's unnecessary? Or i'm looking too far into it. Either way, i think it was there.

it wasn't present in the ritz scene right at the end of the first season, but considering the nightengale song playing on the piano being so significant for other reasons, it would have been really quite out of place in that scene, so it's really not a surprise to me in this case. Would've made me smile, though. either way!

THE MOTIF IS ALSO IN THE TITLE SEQUENCE. THE FUCKING OPENING SONG. At around like 1:10 in the song on spotify it plays, on violin, just much faster and livelier than what we hear in the actual show during the emotional moments it plays to fit in with the rest of the music. https://open.spotify.com/track/5XZw1AA2w7Y5WZI9YQrMhi?si=e815c70a7dc64aad

I'm sure it's on every version of the opening, this is just the track i actually 100% know the timestamps for, so. And this just feels absolutely huge to me, personally; this is a love story. It has always been a love story, from the start of the first season. The motif that plays in every dramatic and love fueled moment in the show is present from the very first episode: it's in the title sequence. David Arnold you goddamn genious

[mutipede]

THAT POST I SAID I WAS GONNA MAKE ABOUT MY FAVORITE MUSIC (part 1)!

Going to try and stick to relatively lesser known stuff, stuff that's particularly meaningful to me, partly since guys like Sabaton and King Gizz are important to me, but probably don't need me hyping them up, but mostly since otherwise this post would become a mile long (and I'm already thinking I should probably split it up into multiple posts...)

THE MONOLITH DEATHCULT

Self-aware, over the top, bombastic death metal. Subject matter in their songs is mostly about historical atrocities and sci-fi horror and it's all full of samples, parodies and theremins. Particular favorite songs include:

MATADORRRR, a song about nuclear apocalypse, including samples from Dr. Strangelove and this excellent example of the kind of humor you can expect in this music video where the lyrics bounce around the screen like a DVD screen saver

THREE HEADED DEATH MACHINE, a song about themselves! I love KMFDM, I love how many of KMFDM's songs are about stroking their own ego in that half ironic way, these guys do the same thing, it's great.

THE WHITE SILENCE, a particular personal favorite due to being from the perspective of John Carpenter's The Thing (and I also just like how regularly they caption guitar solos with "(dying whale sounds)" in these lyric videos okay)

ARCHSPIRE

Blisteringly fast technical death metal holy shit. How do the guitarists play that fast. (One of the guitarists has a youtube channel where he and his wife play other bands' riffs, watch and promote fans playing covers of Archspire stuff and other guitar things, it's very cool) How does the vocalist sing that fast. But the thing that pushes these guys out of "enjoyable and technically impressive music" category and into "HOLY SHIT ALL TIME FAVORITE" for me is the theme and storyline running through their material about interdimensional mutants taking over bodies and piloting corpses using black liquid sludge. I don't think it was intended to be relatable but for me it sure is. I recommend checking out:

DRONE CORPSE AVIATOR - WE SHALL CRAWL INTO THE MARROW OF THEIR CORPSES MAKE THEM FLY AND NAVIGATE THEM... I mean, uhh. It is difficult for me to describe this band in a way that doesn't just consist of enthusiastically yelling the lyrics. But getting to watch the band members kicking ass at absurd BPMs in a mad science setting + the classical-inspired interludes (I'm pretty sure in one of his videos the guitarist admits to straight up ripping off Mozart lol) in the quieter segments + LITERAL FACE-MELTING!... is cool!

REVERIE ON THE ONYX - one of my favorites and another good example of the fusion and layering of crazy-fast technical metal with classical influences in the melodic parts

I was going back and forth between which song I should include off their RELENTLESS MUTATION album, so I think I've gotta go with two: CALAMUS WILL ANIMATE for the sick guitar solo and the youtube comment describing the vocalist as a "Shakespeare heavy metal rapper", and REMOTE TUMOUR SEEKER for the lyrics from the perspective of a human sharing half the consciousness with one of the previously mentioned interdimensional sludge mutants ("I WATCH HIM GRIN SHAKE THE HAND OF THE VICTIM THEN FRANTICALLY RANSACK EACH ONE OF THEIR SKULLS")

I also gotta include Plague of AM for being about I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream!

KANONENFIEBER

So I'm looking at the list of stuff I want to cover in this post and realizing that this guy's stuff (it's a solo project!) is a bit of a thematic and atmospheric departure from the rest of the list. Everything else has a comparatively lighter sci-fi vibe, but this one is melodic black metal about the horrors of World War I and the incomprehensible toll on human life, on all sides. Sabaton occasionally gets criticized for "glorifying war" for their exploration of similar themes and focus on honoring historical figures and overall usually more positive vibe, but there is no way Kanonenfieber could ever be mistaken for glorifying anything, the album art makes it starkly clear, that war was a meat grinder that millions of human lives were mercilessly shoveled into and any rare hint of positivity in the lyrics is about how the powers at the time convinced their citizens to throw their lives away and how devastatingly temporary any optimism really was.

THE YANKEE DIVISION MARCH has guest vocals from Trevor Strnad (RIP) to depict the American and German perspective of the same battle

Die Schlacht Bei Tannenberg, partly because it's one of my favorites but also partly since knowing German to understand the lyrics really helps with appreciating the themes, and this vid includes a translation

And Der Füsilier II (part I is good too!), a song about scorched earth tactics, desperately trying to trudge home and instead freezing to death.

Side note just since "Oppressively bleak black metal about WWI" turns out to be sort of a common thing, if you like this stuff then 1914 and Minenwerfer are similar, even more brutal if anything since they're less melodic on average - I particularly like 1914's Passchenhell for its use of an actual sample from a WWI soldier at the end - who was killed only a month after the recording was taken - that is haunting as fuck

"We're here because we're here because we're here because we're here..."

AND yeah I'm gonna have to continue this in a part 2 later since writing all of this up took longer than I expected, and how do I follow that with more fun sci-fi shit, AAAAND turns out tumblr has a limit on how many vids you can embed in one post anyways!

[sunflowerfoxboy-unused]

Hi, I am Micaela (at least that's the name my parents gave me), and I am not sure about literally anything related to my identity. I'm not very sure about how this works, but I thought you may be able to help(?

Ok first of all I'm afab and even though I don't feel really disphoric ab my body, I do feel a little uncomfortable when people call me "mujer", for example (I live in a spanish speaking country).

I got to think that I maybe could be an nb person, but it still felt a little weird. I haven't discarded it yet, though, since it could be bc I'm not used to the idea.

(Could you please do a pronoun check with the name Mica and pronouns they/them? Some facts about myself: I am really passionate about music in general, but I more specifically really enjoy singing and listening to whatever I feel like listening at the moment. I also love reading and literature in general, though I don't really have the time to focus on this. I do not like running or swimming (like, at all), but I've been trying to lear a little swimming bc ik it's important. Whst else can I say... I have three dogs and they are sooo cute. Um, please mention me as a nonbinary person. I hope that's enough info lol.)

I also thought that I may be just a cis woman who wants to be smth else to make herself interesting (which is pretty sad), but idk.

I even got to consider that I might be a man, but they've got me a little traumatized and it's just really hard to even imagine myself as one (I'm just talking about my personal experience, but still I'm sorry if I made anyone feel ofended on any way).

I don't usually feel comfy wearing very femenine clothes, but sometimes I feel like it so I put on a cute outfit and go somewhere wearing it, and then regret doing it after some minutes. But this could ALSO not have anything to do with gender, so as you can see I'm a confused pile of teenager material. Help me please.

My sexual orientation is a whole mystery as well, but that woul make this way too long, so I'm just gonna sent it like this and, yeah.

Oh I would also appreciate if you could make some more pronoun checks for me, with the same info than the one above but changing a few things :)

1- the one above

2- changing the pronouns for she/they but keeping it nb

3- same as #2 but with she/her

4- same but with he/him

5- same but with he/they

6- keeping they/them but using whatever genders you think might suit me (on different paragraphs please)

7- the same as #6 but with she/they

8- same but with she/her

9- same but with he/him

10- same but with he/they

11- changing the gender to a girl

12- everything again but with Micaela instead of Mica (I'm sorry), and if you can think of a similar name that would sound good in spanish please tell me as well (it's not necessary to make more pronoun checks with that variation, I'm not that mean).

Okay sorry those are a lot of requests, feel free to take your time.

Of course, I will link some feminine/female genders, that I am not sure are in spanish, feel free to check them out!

Mica came by and told me they are non-binary, I didn't know so I asked them about and Mica was very nice. They also use they/them now, so please remember that

I told them she owed some guy money, but they asked me if he was against non-binary people. I realized Mica was scared. I went for them and helped her come out to a random guy. Starts are starts!

Mica got her new coat! She planned she write some poems on it. I told her to just be calm and write as a start, she also showed me some nice art she found. It has non-binary stuff, and I think she is non-binary?

He has a nice voice, also I heard that he goes by Mica, so I need to update his biography. He doesn't know I'm writing his non-binary life to help progression. With his premission.

Mica has made some nice music with me, he has this voice and I told them I know some cello. We made a nice poem-like song, but he wants to try more. Just drabbles, but they could make a career out of it.

6a. They are a demigirl, I asked Mica what is demigirl? They just said that it's when one is part girl or part feminine. They helped me a lot with some other stuff, but Mica is also feeling better. Not so feverish.

6b.They are making a story about paragirls like themself, and I feel like Mica is doing well. They are making me realize I may not be demigender, but I didn't tell them. Maybe later I'll tell Mica?

7a. She got some nice stuff, but I saw a demigirl flag and they shooshed me out? I won't tell her parents, I know they may not like it. I know Mica thinks your safe. Yea, Mica, I was talking about her the whole time.

7b.They came and said that she uses paragirl now, so I know they are ok with stuff like that. She has some knowledge on me, but how much do they know? Mica knows I'm trans and that's it? I should tell her I'm queer too!

8a.I saw her play piano, and she made the song sound like she was saying demigirl, which is her gender right? Anyway, I know she uses she/her, so I'm safe with pronouns. Mica use any new names?

8b.I know she has a dog, but I saw two dogs! Did she get a new dog or did the coming out make me forgot the color of them? Oh, she has 3 dogs. Ok, also Mica told me to tell you she a paragirl.

9a.He got some ncie heels, he told me to get him a newspaper? I think he is watching news more, wait wait, he told me he would make a letter about demigirls like him with newpapers. Mica is just a smart demigirl eh?

9b.I swore I saw him dancing to some song, he should dance more. I know where he is makes him worried, but Mica is missing out. Being a paragirl probably brings problems when girls vs boys comes up, but he could figure it out right?

10a.They have a new skateboard, and he made sure to paint it demigirl colors, which sound nice as frick. They asked if wanted him to paint me one but I don't mind. Mica does enough for themself alone!

10b.I got him, Mica by the way, a new dog sweater. They always want me to make them some, and I do get free dog pictures of the his cute dogs, but I want Mica to learn so I get them for free.

11a.She is just a girl with a hecking voice, I want Mica to get choir classes, but they say no. I respect her choice like their everything, but I am wanting to push this on her.

11b.I gave her a good, time. Made sure she felt like the girl she was. I learned she liked music so I got her some singers stuff. She also is getting some books soon from me.

11c.I told them that they are what they say, but they have been worried about over phone stuff. I think they said they want people to call them a girl and use they/them? I didn't have time to help them.

11d.He got a new book, and he said he has his dogs learning some words. I taught his dogs 'girl' and that Mica was a good girl, so they understood he was. Mica is nice to his dogs.

11e.I made sure they had fun, he got called a girl but they say it's ok, so maybe he is fine with girl? I want to wait until they comfirm it but just a update on him.

For 12 I decided to make a few paragraphs, no gender mentions. I hope it works in place for time for use both!

She got a new name, Micaela, and I know she will make it sound nice! I think she also spells it with a c, not a k, so be careful when spelling her name.

They have a letter written to a classmate you need to carry for me, but Micaela should have written Micaela on it. If you lose it they are after me.

He has some swim gear, and Micaela has wrote his name on it? I don't know why, but I want him to feel safe here, so if Micaela seems scared please ask him if he is.

Madra is a spanish name for girls that sounds nice, but maybe Micaela could work in spanish? I think it can be pronounced fine, but I only took a spanish class two years ago and know nothing anymore, so I am not the best. Monica also sounds nice

As for gender troubles, I had been questioning for a long time. I think exploring all base things is a good thing to do first: like all pronouns you know, etc. The gender bible is a nice place to look especially for dysphoria. Demigirl and Paragirl are gender identitys that are part feminine, and honestly those seem like good starting places. If you go through many labels that's ok!

https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Demigirl and https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Paragirl

[the-sky-queen]

Alright! Let's review Spider-man: Turn off the Dark, shall we?

For those who didn't see my original post on this, here's the scoop: Spider-man: Turn off the Dark was this theater musical some people tried to make once upon a time. It was essentially just a complete failure. The story was a mess, the stunts got actors hurt and the music . . . well, that's the point of this post. You see, the music was written by Bono and The Edge, members of the band U2. If you know them, you probably know them for songs like I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For or With or Without You. (Or if you've seen Sing 2, you know Where the Streets Have no Name and Stuck In a Moment You Can't Get Out of.)

My sister is a massive fan of U2. I think she might have listened to all of their songs. So, I thought it would be fun to listen to the soundtrack of Turn off the Dark with her for the first time and see if the songs were any good.

(Keep in mind that this is all just my opinion. If you've got something different that you think, I'd love to hear it! This was honestly a very fun and fascinating soundtrack to listen to, and I'm sure there's people out there who like it more than I do.)

With all that said, let's get into this!

So, pretty much immediately, we ran into a bit of a snag. We didn't realize this until halfway through our listen through, but the songs are completely out of order on the soundtrack. So, here we were, trying to piece together some kind of coherent story for the songs we were listening to, and it was just a lost cause. XD It's not my first time listening to a sound track that has every song out of order (our family has a disc for the Shrek Soundrack that's like that) but it's still baffling. Why would you arrange the soundtrack like this? But anyway, as I said, we didn't even realize the songs were out of order until we got about half way through the soundtrack. Not realizing they were out of order, we came up with this crazy idea for a plot where Peter Parker was depressed because Uncle Ben dies just before the events of the musical, he's in a relationship with MJ, but is too sad to be entirely with her right now, he becomes Spiderman, and Norman Osborn is upset that his research got leaked and is slowly going insane. Totally not accurate, but it was fun to speculate.

In terms of the soundtrack as a whole, my sister and I came to a few agreements. First off, the songs were very much written by U2. It's got so many of their signature sounds and style. I've heard reviewers of Turn off the Dark say that the soundtrack sounds less like a musical soundtrack and more like the next U2 album, and I have to agree with them. (Though my sister doesn't really agree with the 'next U2 album' part. She sees things that are unique here, and I'll just have to take her word for it since I don't really listen to a lot of U2.) My sister found a lot of instances in the vast majority of the songs that seemed to be lifted out of other U2 songs from before and after this soundtrack, either as a direct copy or a spiritual second chance of sorts.

If you're going into this soundtrack blind and you're expecting a familiar broadway musical-like sound, you need to know right now that you're not getting that. These songs, as I said, sound way more like U2 songs than musical songs. According to my sister, Bono likes to write in such a way that his songs are accessible and relatable to anyone, and that sure is biting him in the butt here, because as a result these songs become very vague. There are like two or three instances in the entire soundtrack where Spiderman is actually mentioned (maybe four? I can't remember). You can usually barely tell what's supposed to be going on. You know how if you turn on the soundtrack for a typical musical, you can get essentially the entire story just from the music? Yeah, you can't do that here. Using my favorite musicals as examples here, but in Tuck Everlasting and Addams Family, there are songs at all the major plot beats. I know what's going on in the story. The characters are telling me what's going on and what they're feeling. Meanwhile, the Turn off the Dark soundtrack is all vague feelings and no events. I have ZERO clue what's going on, except in a few rare cases.

This soundtrack also has a problem with variety, specifically of the singer kind. Most of the songs are just Peter dramatically singing vague words. There's the occasional duet with MJ, two songs for Green Goblin/Norman Osborn, and one song for Arachne. (Don't even ask. If you don't know who she is already, then you might as well just dive fully into the rabbit hole that is Turn off the Dark and learn everything there is to know about this insane musical.) There's almost nothing for the ensemble to do, which is very sad. And while we're on the subject of variety, a lot of these songs sound VERY similar. Most of them have the same signature U2 rock style. It gets kinda tiring after a while. Maybe some people would like that, but I was longing for a violin or something by the end.

The Turn off the Dark Soundtrack is missing a lot of typical musical songs as well. Opening ensemble number? Not there. Hero's I Want song? I mean, you might be able to argue that's what Boy Falls From the Sky is, but I couldn't identify what exactly Peter WANTS in that song. I have no idea why we're supposed to care. That's a big problem for a musical to have.

One plus is the existence of the song Pull the Trigger. This song caught me and my sister SO off guard when we listened to it because it didn't sound ANYTHING like what we'd been hearing up to that point. It was so UN-U2 and weird that it circled all the way back around to being unironically amazing. At this point, we didn't know that it was the US military (for some reason???) talking to Norman, so I came up with the theory that the ensemble in this song were acting as the voices in his head, a la the first Raimi Spiderman movie. This is one of the songs on the soundtrack that I would DEFINITELY listen to again. XD (My sister isn't as big a fan of it, but I don't care. :P)

There were a few other stand out songs on the sound track, like No More (which hit us in all the feels so hard), Bouncing Off the Walls, and my sister really liked Boy Falls From the Sky.

Here's some notes we had for each of the songs:

NY Debut - Has no real reason to be here. It's just an instrumental, and not even an overture. It's boring.

Boy Falls From the Sky - Definitely feels like a U2 song, specifically because Bono hasn't figured out how to write as a character and not himself. My sister picked out several moments that seem to have been lifted out of other U2 songs

Rise Above 1 - Is clearly only titled this way because Bono didn't realize Rise Above 2 could've just been Rise Above Reprise, but okay. It uses second person 'you' a lot, which makes it very vague.

Picture This - Gives the vibes of the songs where Bono sings about his mom (who died when he was younger). Had a few lines that seemed redundant to me, but at least we got some MJ and ensemble action!

I Just Can't Walk Away - Sounded like a break up song between Peter and MJ??? It was pretty cool since we got more of a sense of story from this one than any of the previous songs. Also, that echo effect later on was very cool.

Bouncing Off the Walls - Sounded like an actual Spiderman song for once! All of the previous ones sounded like they were more written for Bono, but this one seemed like something Spiderman might actually sing. Thought the first few lines gave Venom vibes and I know for a fact he's not in this musical. Also, the chorus was kinda boring.

Pull the Trigger - WAS SO WACKY AND FUN!!! It came so out of left field and I want more. The patriotic bits didn't make a whole lot of sense though and the ending was weird.

No More - Honestly just so amazing. The struggles Peter and MJ have are clearly communicated and heartbreaking. The music itself was so well done as well. (Sidenote: the line MJ sings, "Everyday I feel the walls are closing in, When can I begin?" sounds SO FAMILIAR and I can't figure out what it sounds like. If anyone can figure it out, please let me know!)

DIY World - The concept was discernable but the execution was bad. It got a little absurd by the end.

If the World Should End - Had nice soliloquy vibes, but we had legitimately no clue what was going on. MJ knew something but was keeping it to herself?

Sinistereo - My sister loved it, but I HATE IT WITH A FIERY BURNING PASSION. The instruments were screeching and painful to hear and the singing itself was so flat and dead. I couldn't focus on anything else. I will never listen to this again. My sister found things to like somehow.

A Freak Like Me Needs Company - In all the reviews I've heard, this one always gets specifically talked about, so I was excited to get to this one. But honestly, I don't understand what all the hype was about. It's not nearly as high energy as I thought it would be. It's probably better on stage, but I expected more.

Rise Above 2 - Has some genuinely good and cool moments! But this was the point when I was getting really tired of the guitar and drums and wanted more variety.

Turn off the Dark - Sounded really sincere but since we know a villain was singing it, it just confused us. And towards the end, we started to get kinda uncomfortable.

My sister's final thoughts: Sometimes U2 gotta be cringe, but in the end they put out great art.

My final thoughts: It’s not a musical soundtrack. It’s the next U2 album with the occasional spiderman thrown in. U2 kept stealing from their own songs and that’s unimpressive to me. Bono’s trying so hard to be the next Andrew Lloyd Webber (but rock) and he doesn’t know how to write showtunes.

I think this soundtrack has some good moments that were really enjoyable. But as a whole? If we're judging Turn off the Dark purely on its music and nothing else, it's no wonder it failed.

But as I said at the beginning, if you've got something to add, PLEASE let me know. Despite all the things wrong with it, I still think this musical is genuinely fascinating and fun to talk about!

[limeade-l3sbian]

Death penalty anon is back before the year ends.

Would you be a person open to long distance relationships, if not, why? if yes, why?(I think both replies can lead to interesting answers)

What type of person would you describe yourself as IRL? Are you a giving person? Kind? Mischievous? Somber? Irritable? etc.

Do you have a skincare routine, if yes, what?

Favourite workout, if you had to choose? Taking walks is an option.

Opinion on women with anti social behavior?(also often labeled psychopathic and all that jazz)

If you could change only one thing in the world with the snap of a finger, what would it be?

How was your first kiss? And was it with someone whom you were in a type of relationship with?

Opinion on female celebrities like Taylor Swift, Beyoncé and so on who have used feminism like an aesthetic when it benefitted them but still besides that has made a career centering their art often around men.

Do you like cough drops? I think they taste like how i imagine petrol tasting. Doesn’t matter which flavor, they all have the same after affect.

Have you ever wanted to kill someone? Perhaps a severe question but I think it’s a fair one. We are human and sometimes anger and hatred takes hold of our hearts. Just don’t act on it, lol.

Sweetest person in your life growing up?

HAPPY NEW YEAR SOON ❤️

AYYYE 😤 death penalty anon back in the building !

I've actually been in one! For two years before breaking up. We were both introverts and I think the long distance thing enabled us more to not have to try so hard. On both our ends. Ultimately, I think it would be best if I didn't go into another one as I do love the more physical aspects of a relationship, not just relating to the obvious.

Mischievous 😈 jk I'm actually very low-key. I like to have two to three good friends at a time, usually have my headphones in, but ultimately the way I talk and the way I am on here is a near perfect reflection of how I am IRL. I guess I would consider myself kind as I certainly try to be. Might be corny but I genuinely live by that quote: "be the person you needed when you were younger."

Most of the time I do not touch my face. Don't even really throw water on it. I'll wash it during a shower lmao but that's kinda it

Definitely walking. I could go for miles with the right music and not even notice. I actually lost ten pounds recently bc of it!

Way more interesting than men with it, that's for damn sure.

Would just remove all women in all manners. Women's presence, influences, images, literature, all of it. Remove it all and place it elsewhere. Leave this place for good.

It was okay lmao. I don't think I'd want a relationship with her tho. She got high all the time. To the point where like, looking back I only just realized she was probably driving me home a little under the influence. But she got high so often it was hard to discern.

I think once you reach a certain level of fame, you can't help it and have to make the effort to stay grounded. But there's rarely a reason to do so unless you have the desire. I don't really know how I feel about them. I think both examples are often tone deaf and out of touch in general and make very shallow attempts at appearing as feminists. I'm not saying they're not, but I think if you really pressed them for deeper commentary, you might see them start to repeat themselves and resort to the banal quotes of "women can do anything" "women are so strong". Or maybe I'm completely wrong and if you were to grill them, they'd school ME on things. I'll have to think about that. Genuinely.

I'm 50/50 on them. And that's a more than fair way to describe them lmao

Absolutely.

I had a vegetarian, yoga loving neighbor from Panama named Zena and I could stop by whenever and she'd cut me up some fruit and let me ramble about little kid stuff, but actually engaged with me. I believe she went home years ago but I think about her sometimes. 💜

HAPPY NEW YEARS (SOON) 😤💕

[commsroom]

i love that the information on hera's servers is just something she (mostly) has access to and it isn't inherently part of her or necessarily something she knows, exactly - that she has to actively read the books available to her, that she doesn't commit all of the information she processes to memory, that her memory is fallible and influenced by her own biases, etc. because it means sometimes eiffel is like, wow, hera!! you're so smart; you know everything!! and meanwhile she's doing the equivalent of like, googling stuff really fast.