tsuutarr · 3 days ago
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Yandere!Hero (Chosen One) x Saint!Reader
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In all of his life, Elias only remembers crying once. It was when he was a young boy, no older than six years old. He had been taken to the Church for a baptism, only for his holy power and status as the Chosen One to be revealed. He had then been stolen from his parents and beaten black and blue until he was molded into the Hero that would save everyone.
Resigned to his role, Elias never allowed himself to feel any semblance of emotion. He only needs to fulfill the prophecy, after all. No one cares about who he is as a person, about him. They’ve put him outside to protect the borders of humanity by sacrificing his life. They’ve put a distance between him, parading him as a Hero while masking their selfish desires of having him take on the entire burden of bringing salvation to humankind. He is nothing more than a glorified sacrifice without the privilege of feeling emotions. 
But if that’s the case, why does his heart ache when he’s with you? Why does his stomach flutter? Why does a smile he had thought he lost in his youth come back when you’re around? Why does rage burn his fingers when you get hurt? Why do tears wet his cheeks when he holds your cold, lifeless body?
Please, please tell him that you’re just sleeping. Tell him that you’ll greet him when morning comes. Please, use your warm hands to brush his tears away. Tell him that it’ll all be okay.
Despite Elias’ ardent desires, the dead cannot comfort the living. 
“My child,” a voice from the Heavens calls, a beam of light surrounding Elias. “I thank you for your service.”
“Please,” Elias murmurs, voice thick with emotion. “I cannot live without the Saint.”
The voice above is silent as it observes Elias, who cradles you in his arms like you’re his most important treasure. “I cannot change the hands of fate.”
“Then I will,” Elias responds. “Turn back time for me and I will find another way to seal the Demon Lord.”
“It does not exist. You will only put yourself through the same pain.”
“It doesn’t matter to me. As long as I can save the Saint.”
The voice from the Heavens is silent, before it says, “Very well. If that is your desire.”
And so, time is rewinded back to when Elias was a young boy. He once again goes to Church to receive baptism. He is once again shown to be the Hero. He is once again stripped from his parents and beaten black and blue, but this time, he does not cry. Instead, he looks forward so that he can find a way to save you.
But no matter Elias’ efforts, bad end after bad end follows his footsteps. No matter what he does, no matter what he changes, no matter what, bad ends are the only ends he meets with. A good ending where the world is saved and you are still alive just doesn’t exist. So, Elias has no choice, really. He’ll create his own bad end, except this time, the world will be sacrificed for you.
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mapis-putellas · 1 day ago
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𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕
Pairing: Alexia x you
Words: 1203
Warnings: none I don’t think
Summary: When alexia tears her Acl, your once perfect relationship falls apart.
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The moment Alexia went down on the field, clutching her knee, you felt a hollow dread settle in your chest. Her face twisted in pain, teammates rushed to her side, and you could barely breathe as medics swarmed around her, trying to assess the damage. As Alexia was helped off the field, her face pale and tight with pain, you knew, deep down, that this was bad. The way she winced, the way her hand hovered over her knee protectively—it all pointed to the injury you both dreaded: an ACL tear.
The days that followed were a whirlwind. An MRI confirmed what everyone feared—she’d torn her ACL, and recovery would be long, arduous, and mentally draining. Alexia had always been fiercely independent, and the idea of months without being able to play, to train, or even walk without crutches seemed like a punishment. You’d heard stories of ACL recoveries; you knew they could change a person, but you never imagined it would impact Alexia so profoundly.
At first, she tried to hide her pain, and you were patient, doing everything you could to support her. You stayed by her side through every doctor’s appointment, every painful physio session, and every frustratingly slow step forward. But soon, her frustration started spilling over, and it seeped into your relationship.
It started with small things—she’d pull her hand away when you tried to help her, or she’d give curt, dismissive responses when you asked how she was feeling. You thought maybe she needed time to process, so you backed off, giving her space and trying to be as gentle as possible. But over the next few weeks, she withdrew further, snapping at you for the smallest things, her patience evaporating whenever you tried to help.
The Alexia you knew—the Alexia who was soft and affectionate, who’d tease you with a playful glint in her eye and make you feel like the most important person in the world—was nowhere in sight. Instead, she was like a stranger, her walls up and her anger simmering just below the surface.
One evening, you gently suggested she try the exercises the physio had given her. “I know it’s hard, but you’re making progress, Alexia. You’re doing so well.”
She rolled her eyes, letting out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, well, I don’t feel like I’m doing well, so maybe just… stop, okay?” Her tone was sharp, each word tinged with an anger she couldn’t seem to control.
You tried to stay calm. “I’m only trying to help. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“Maybe I want to do it alone,” she snapped, her eyes flashing. “I don’t need you constantly hovering over me. I’m not some child.”
Her words stung, but you held back, not wanting to escalate things. “I’m not trying to hover. I just love you, and I want to support you. This isn’t easy for either of us, but we can get through it together.”
But she looked away, clenching her jaw. “Maybe I didn’t ask for your help, did I?”
That night, she barely acknowledged you, her gaze fixed somewhere distant, her face set in a hard expression that you barely recognized. It was as though she’d built a wall around herself, one you couldn’t penetrate no matter how hard you tried.
The breaking point came a few nights later, during what started as a simple conversation. You were trying to coax her into doing her knee exercises, knowing how crucial they were to her recovery, but she dismissed you, saying she’d do them later. You gently reminded her that she’d been saying the same thing all week, and that was when the argument erupted.
“Why are you always on my back about this?” she snapped, her voice rising with frustration. “It’s my leg, my life. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
You clenched your fists, hurt bubbling up inside you. “Because I care about you, Alexia! You’re pushing everyone away, and you don’t see what it’s doing to us.”
“Oh, so now I’m a burden?” she shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying—”
“Then what, Y/N?” she interrupted, her tone harsh. “Go on, say it. Say you don’t love me.”
You froze, her words cutting through you like a knife. Your heart pounded, anger and frustration mixing with the hurt that had been building up for weeks. “I don’t even recognize you anymore,” you said quietly, each word laced with pain. “You’re not the person I fell in love with.”
For a moment, there was a flicker of something in her eyes—regret, maybe? But it disappeared as quickly as it came, and she rolled her eyes, dismissing you with a scoff.
The casualness of it shattered you, and you felt tears welling up. You’d fought so hard to keep things together, but it was clear she didn’t want your help or your love right now. Without another word, you grabbed your things, the weight of her indifference pressing down on you as you left.
You didn’t know where else to go, so you went to Mapi and Ingrid’s place, tears streaming down your face as you tried to explain everything through sobs. Mapi’s face hardened, anger flashing in her eyes as she listened, while Ingrid wrapped you in a comforting hug, murmuring reassurances.
“Alexia’s hurting,” Ingrid said gently, rubbing your back as she held you. “This isn’t you she’s mad at—it’s the injury, the loss of control.”
Mapi nodded, though her jaw was clenched. “But that doesn’t mean she gets to treat you like this. You don’t deserve any of it, Y/N.”
They stayed with you through the night, Ingrid sitting beside you, holding your hand as you cried, and Mapi pacing the room, her frustration clear. Eventually, Mapi decided to go talk to Alexia herself, determined to set things straight.
Back at Alexia’s apartment, Mapi found her curled up on the couch, her face blotchy from crying. It was clear that Alexia hadn’t expected anyone to come by; she looked up, startled, as Mapi sat down across from her.
“Mapi…” Alexia started, her voice wavering.
But Mapi held up a hand, silencing her. “Do you realize what you’re doing, Alexia? Do you even realize what you said to Y/N?”
Alexia’s gaze dropped, guilt and shame flooding her expression. “I… I was just angry, Mapi. I didn’t mean any of it.”
Mapi’s voice softened, but her words were still firm. “I know it’s hard, Ale. I know better than anyone how an ACL injury can feel like the end of everything. But you don’t get to hurt the people who love you because of it.”
Alexia’s shoulders shook as she let out a shuddering breath. “I don’t know how to do this, Mapi,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I don’t know how to be… me anymore. It’s like this injury took everything.”
Mapi reached over, resting a hand on her shoulder. “You’re still you, Ale. You’re still loved. But you’re pushing away the one person who wants to help you through this. You need to apologize and make things right with her before it’s too late.”
Alexia nodded, tears streaming down her face as she realized the weight of her actions. She didn’t want to lose you, not over this, and yet, she’d been pushing you away.
Later that evening, Ingrid brought you back to Alexia’s apartment. As you stepped through the door, your heart felt heavy, unsure of what to expect. You could see Alexia waiting for you, her eyes red and swollen from crying, her expression one of remorse and vulnerability.
She took a shaky step toward you. “Y/N… I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness after everything I said, but I need you to know that I never meant it. I was just… I was so angry. At myself, at this injury… at everything.”
Your heart softened as you looked at her, seeing the regret in her eyes. “Alexia, I understand that you’re hurt and frustrated, but you didn’t have to push me away. I’m here to help you, to be with you, not to be shut out.”
She nodded, her gaze fixed on the floor. “I know. I know, and I’m so sorry. I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I didn’t see what I was doing to you… to us.”
Stepping forward, you wrapped your arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She melted against you, her shoulders shaking as she clung to you, whispering apology after apology, her voice filled with guilt and desperation.
“I’m going to be better,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “I promise I’ll communicate, I’ll let you in. Please… just don’t give up on me.”
You ran a hand through her hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “I’m not giving up on you, Ale. I never would. But we have to do this together, okay? No more shutting me out.”
She nodded, sniffling as she pulled back to look at you, her hands still clutching your arms as if you might disappear. “I swear,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I’m going to be better. For us.”
You gave her a small smile, wiping away her tears as you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Alexia. We’ll get through this, together.”
Relief flooded her expression, and she pulled you close, her arms wrapped tightly around you as she pressed gentle kisses to your cheeks, your forehead, anywhere she could reach. “Thank you, mi amor,” she whispered, her voice filled with gratitude. “I love you, more than anything.”
In that moment, as she held you close, you felt the warmth of the Alexia you’d fallen in love with, the one who was still there, despite the pain and anger. And together, you knew you’d find your way through, one step at a time.
**
Tags:
@goldenempyrean @marysfics @codiemarin @girlgenius1111 @ceesimz @xxnaiaxx @liloandstitchstan
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pansyfemme · 7 days ago
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
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silkysong · 4 months ago
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i feel like the heat is gonna fucking kill me
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bunnihearted · 6 months ago
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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isfjmel-phleg · 1 year ago
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[
#random personal stuff#I get it everyone in church wants to fuss over the babies#who are very cute and I'm glad that they're loved! they should be!#but I'd like to put in a good word *also* for a group who tend to get overlooked and undervalued#and that's older kids#once you get past baby age in the church circles I'm familiar with#you are no longer an object of adoration and are now a nuisance a burden and a problem that needs to be suppressed and contained#parents will openly complain about them and heaven forbid anyone reach adolescence because then they're regarded as next-door to a monster#and not many people are really listening to older kids or thinking about what they might need as human beings#which is connection and knowing that people give a darn about them personally#and don't just see them as something to be 'kept busy' or as free labor/babysitting for younger nuisances#I have the most interesting conversations with these kids#they're bright and hilarious and passionate about all kinds of things#and they're dealing with more than most adults seem to realize or take seriously#I remember being that age very vividly and the adult whom I wanted to be around the most was my aunt whenever she visited#because she actually took the time to listen to me and put up my jawing about [current obsession]#probably took a lot of patience on her part but I appreciated it so much#it made me feel like I mattered#sometimes the kids at church will talk to me and I want to be for them the kind of adult my aunt was for me#they ARE worth listening to!#everybody at every stage of life is worth caring about
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winterstaryu · 3 months ago
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I said something that could have been interpreted as mean literally 3 days ago and I still can't stop thinking about it
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soulsanctuary · 1 month ago
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tw / personal
at the beginning of this month i was on holiday with my friends. i was taking a shower in our accommodation and they decided to go to the shops whilst i was in there without telling me and locked me in. i suppose it would’ve been ok as it was only an hour but i have serious ptsd and past trauma around being locked in and trapped in rooms against my will. when i got out i realised i was totally trapped since none of the windows opened and had a total meltdown. My ptsd got triggered so hard and suddenly i couldn’t tell if i was in the room or some of the places in my past and i was terrified. when they finally got back i ran outside and couldn’t go back in the apartment for at least 3 hours. I just sat against a wall and cried. I think the only thing that calmed me down was two of the neighboured cats - they took a liking to me and sat in my lap and purred until i stopped shaking. two little angels.
Even now three weeks later im still feeling a bit shaken and it’s got me rethinking myself. I thought i was healed but i had such a humiliating meltdown i guess im not. But I realise ive never ever allowed myself to be in that kind of situation. First thing when i arrive anywhere is look for the exits and plan multiple escape routes lol. Maybe I need therapy for it but I don’t have the money for that and I don’t wanna talk about it too much either.
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forestgreenlesbian · 8 months ago
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schrodingers-catgirl · 1 month ago
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vent in tags
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dragonji · 22 days ago
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been talking to my transfem coworker a lot more abt our respective gender (and sometimes romance) complications/plans lately and genuinely it like. simultaneously makes me feel pretty cringe and silly to admit i do in fact want things but also its smth I never thought I'd get to have and thus kind of mindblowingly really reasurring and lovely and special. No other point to be made here just that it rly is kind of lifechanging to be a trans person w trans friends👍
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the-gay-prometheus · 3 months ago
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lexidius · 1 month ago
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do you ever get the feeling that you just. talk too much or too little and that there's no in between
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pinktinselmonstrosity · 5 months ago
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this is so random but one of my flatmates turned the temperature of our fridge down without saying anything/checking and it's PISSING me off... my orange juice has frozen solid?? the chicken i got out to defrost last night is still completely frozen???
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himejoshiba · 5 months ago
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not doing great recently girls. maxxed out my credit card (still disabled & unemployed), binged and ate myself absolutely sick the last few days, slept like 4 hours each night, pulled the regrowth back out of my bald spots, been doing really stupid shit like reading stuff i know will make me sad and convincing myself of fake scenarios that make me panic and cry .. something is sooooo wrong with me unfortunately and nothing about it is cool or tragic or redeemable or lovable its just sad. (gotta go to bed i think) (but i have chores to do first;;;;)
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rustbeltbabey · 6 months ago
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boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.
#mayave its imposter syndrome maybe its internalized transphobia but i dont think any gay man would ever date me bc i dont thibk any of them#would thibk of me as a man. idk. maybe this will change once i start like. PHYICALLY transitioning but i rlly feel like theres no hope 4 me#i feel like i will always be thought of as a woman for the rest of my life i feel like i will never pass as anything but a woman i feel like#i dont have any positive qualities i don't like a single thing abt myself i dont thibk im capable of loving someone im so distant w everyone#im so scared of phyically and emotional intimacy i feel like a burden i dont even know how to act like a man and i KNOW that thst isnt a#fucking thing i KNOW theres no right way of being a man i know that logically but still the fact that i grew up isolated from men and#that i rarely interact w them even to this day i have no male friends no male role models nothing im so scared im gonna like.#break social rules n shit which is RIDICULOUS bc once again there's no right way to b a guy or to preform masculinity and also im so early#in my transition no one even knows im a guy anways. but also im worri3d bc of thst no one will ever seen me as one unless i start conforming#to traditional masculinity and i dont know now to emulate it bc ivenonly ever seen it from afar i dont actually know what guys talk about#howbthey act around eachother what is socially acceptable or not i dont have a clue bc i dont ever interact w men and its like. fucking#stupid of me to even want to know bc it shouldn't matter to me BUT IT DOES and it makes me so anxious that i do not know how to emulate it#even if i wanted to i wouldnt know how bc i grew up in a fucking cult and i know so little men and i have terrible social skills n i#probably have autism which just. everything is compounded upon eachother n i feel like im going crazy i dont think ill ever be enough.#I hope i'm in a better mental place when i start t but even that im so fucking bad at doing things bc i have executive dysfunction that like#i havent even started tbe process or called thr clinic im just likem fucking spiraling. I hope my mindset becomes healthier once I start.#anwyss lol. do u guys like me? bc i feel like im unbearable n im trying not to be let me know if u do or not so i can try to cahnge ^.^#🪽
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