#likethisblog

[justinjohn]

Headed to New York. This is what the Chicago subway looks like. It has these little peek-throughs so it looks like you're staring into someone's window. I feel like that man could be interchangeably seated on that bench or a toilet and would look exactly the same. I'm on the other side sweating and lugging around a 50-lb suitcase on 4 hours of sleep. I decided today that humans are filled with this sort of internal tug-of-war, conflicting relationship with motivation, at least myself. By that I mean I approach basically everything in life with a sense of hesitation and/or inertia: work trips, going out or being social in any way, sometimes just getting dressed and showering (that's a rough week.) But it feels SO MUCH BETTER better when you do: afterward. I mean, I woke up this morning wanting to just put a pillow over my face because I have this flight, and I have to take the subway because I'm poor, and I didn't sleep well, and just, it was still dark and I had to get in the shower and manage time (in other words, being a functional adult), and of course I hated every second of it. But now that I'm on the train, I feel fantastic. My mood has completely changed; I can't wait to get to New York and walk around the city, and I feel a renewed sense of energy and eagerness and hope. But only now.. like thirty minutes after the bullshit. Productivity is sort of like the "life" version of working out. But instead of burning calories I guess you burn lethargy and self-hate. WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS? Anyway, just some morning thoughts. Also, I decided this morning I'm too obsessed with Facebook politics, and I think I'm going to get absorbed into my phone screen if I keep it up, so I'm just going to take a small sanity break for the day. No political rants just PRODUCTIVE, mostly wine-fueled life assessments.