#listen i like rarepairs don't judge me

[dawnblazers]

I like giving Yang @ofovertime a very hard time for being my friend lol

[takaraphoenix]

Ask game A, C, and O for DC

Thanks for playing :)

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

Okay, I'ma focus on the current here and instead of overall, list you the ones I'm currently the most obsessed with/trying to get content about:

Conner/Cassie (there is a reason I'm working through Young Justice and now Teen Titans. I LOVE these two so much and I intend to read every comic with them, they make my brain go brrr)

Leonard/Barry (listen, there are so many comic appearances of Lenny and I am genuinely working on reading every single one of them. But every time he gets to interact with Barry, in particular, just sends me)

Arthur/Dinah (I saw them standing next to each other and it unlocked the gates again. This was one of my first DC ships and I am currently rotating them in my mind again. The tiniest of rarepairs. I honestly feel like it doesn't even exist outside my brain)

Though there are also of course always my all time favorite ships at the top of the list that just always occupy my brain.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Barbara and Dick? At this point, I've encountered them post-breakup so often and every time, their relationship is so strained from the breakup, so much distance and even resentment and that makes me really sad, because their friendship is dear to me and to see it suffer because they don't work out romantically is a shame and makes me want for them to not get together in the first place, avoid the pain?

Though I also headcanon Dick as gay, so, uh, none of canon's attempts to pair Dick off with a girl have ever worked for me. And, canon wise, I've encountered... a lot. Damn, that boy is a fandom bicycle.

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Don't judge me, I did randomize so an old song popped up. Justin Timberlake's Love, Sex, Magic. And. Uhm. Yeah, that's a JohnZee song if I've ever heard one.

Fandom Ask Game

[heavensenthearty]

Katara!

Oh, my gosh!! A, thank you so, so, so, so, so much for this ask!!

You know, I live for talking about my girl, Katara!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

How I feel about Katara?

She motivates me to try my best, because even if I breakdown, other people do too. I'm not alone in those feelings and it isn't a bad thing if they ever get to me. Allowing myself to feel the anger is also something that I need to do in order to let it go. She teaches me that not everything is black and white, and that the healthiest thing is to keep on living my life without letting anything stop me from fully experiencing it. She teaches me that hope is not just childish dreams, too. And most importantly, she teaches me to be proud of who I am.

Any/All the people I ship her romantically with?

Well, I feel this is as good of a moment to come clean...

Zuko: Obviously! They're a match made in Heaven!

They connect and reassure each other so well. They remind me that true love is when someone inspires you to be the most yourself as you can be. I love how Zuko makes Katara feel so supported, not only through words but also actions. I love how he is so selfless for her, I love how he involves himself with all her family.

I love how Katara inspires Zuko to let his guard down and believe in the goodness of people, that there can be hope even after everything seems lost. I love how she makes him feel so safe that talking comes so easily. I love that she listens to him and cares and lets him know that she does.

I love how they console each other. And I love how they'd sacrifice anything for one another, even if neither of them want someone they care so much sacrifice themselves like that 🥺

And now, for proving I am a new person...

Aang: I know, I know, this... VERY different from who I used to be, but I realized everything in canon can be more of a guideline than something set into stone. I never minded the concept of Kataang as a ship, it was the execution that didn't do it for me, so I figured I might as well build the ship up from zero.

There's also the fact that Kataang shippers made it very clear they didn't like me for being an LGBTQIA ally and for being latina, so I didn't want to be in their space. But if I let bigots dictate what I can or cannot enjoy, I probably wouldn't do anything at all in life.

The way I see it, Katara taught Aang many valuable lessons about love even while she didn't return his feelings: sometimes you have to give the person you love some space, sometimes your love won't be reciprocated, but life will go on and you'll be okay. Sometimes love doesn't mean romantic love, it can mean friendship and respect.

I don't think canon!Aang grasped those lessons, but they were there.

And even platonically, Aang was someone very special for Katara, and I feel that, had Aang matured in matters of relationships, they could have been one of those stories where friends eventually grow to love each other romantically.

Jin: It might seem a bit odd that I mention a rarepair right after two popular ships, but I just love Jintara so much!! 😍😍 I think they would be the sweetest couple around and they would have so much in common, it'd be one of those "Where have you been all my life?" moments — and also one of those "Just kiss already!" moments 🤭.

I think Katara would inspire Jin and show her she doesn't have to bear Ba Sing Se's awful and neglectful government. And I think Jin would be the perfect person to distract Katara and make her loosen up whenever she is too stressed with diplomatic and political tasks.

Jiang: I really loved how Jiang pushed but also guided Katara outside of her comfort zone during their brief time together, and how they taught her the wrong in judging by appearances. Besides, Jiang is a very forward person, and they would straight up tell their intentions to Katara because relationships don't always have to be so complicated.

Jet: Jet is a character with so much unused potential and I think that had things been different, the two of them could have been an actual good couple. I think his interest in Katara was genuine, and I also know he understimated her when they first met. I feel like, had he stayed in the series, maybe a few years down the road, they would have left the past behind them and start over.

Yue: I think that had Yue spend a bit more time with Katara, she would have fallen for her instead of Sokka.

Harutara: They were so good together and Haru was ultimate boyfriend material!! I really wanted them to stay together for longer!! 🥺🥺🥺

Suki: This is more like "a couple that eventually decided they were better off as friends". They still care a lot about one another, but not in that way anymore.

My unpopular opinion about Katara?

Okay, you don't mind if I add a few more than necessary, right?

Katara is one of the darkest characters in the series. When you look a little into her backstory, you realize there are many awful implications and there is space for many awful things that could have happened to her that simply weren't mentioned in the show. With the lack of resources in the Southern Water Tribe, she could have suffered from malnourishment for giving away her own food so the rest of the tribe would eat. She has been wearing her mother's necklace since she was eight, it must have become too small to fit right and by now it's constantly choking and cutting her neck, but she still won't let go of it. Mentioning her mother's death is actually very arduous for her but she feels it is a proof of trust, and she wants to believe putting that much trust in someone means they won't leave her like her parents did.

At the same time, she is also very humorous and just as sarcastic as Sokka.

This is a pet-peeve of mine, and I know all the characters have the colors of their respective nation as a signature color, but I feel that with two Water Tribe main characters, Katara and Sokka could have had different colors to represent them and accentuate their differences. Maybe they would wear different shades of blue, or Sokka would wear blue and Katara purple.

One thing I wish would have happened to her in canon?

As much as I love Jiang, I wish instead of Katara's Pirate Adventure, we have had a comic of Katara inscribing in Ba Sing Se's university to study medicine. Or building up her own medicine school in the Southern Water Tribe.

Favorite friendship for Katara?

Jin!!

I already mentioned why I love shipping them romantically, but I also love to imagine Katara just having a girly friend, that they would brace each other when the boys caused a disaster, that there would be this sort of tension because they both have a crush on Zuko but deciding friends don't fight over boys, them complimenting each other and Jin being Katara's model when she is making new clothes or practicing makeup.

My crossover ship?

Mmmmmm... In a time-travelling fic but within the same universe? Young Katara and Mako from TLOK.

Amongst other fandoms... Maybe Katara and King Kieran from The Dark Artifices. I can see Mark and Cristina falling for her too and then it would be "Hot Fairy Foursome" 😍. ("Hot Fairy and Mermaid Foursome"? 🤔 "Hot Fairy and Nixie Foursome"?) (I'm working on the name.)

Or... Katara and Keith Kogane from Voltron. (Huh, maybe I'll get to this one later 😏)

I loved this ask, A! Thank you!!

— 💋

Ask games!!

[phoenixyfriend]

Asking for a friend but could you maybe post what you wrote about each couple in the problematic ship test, they're super funny and I'm struggeling to get them but keep failling and I'm tired :(

thx <3

Sure!

Context:

The rarepair quiz

The femslash quiz

The #problematic ship quiz

Fanon vs Canon

Disclaimer from the start of the quiz: you must recognize that, as a quiz about problematic ships, this will contain references to hot-button topics, namely clonecest, dating within the jedi lineage as pseudo-incest, and age differences. It will also make pointed jabs at some ships for comedic purposes. From this point forward, you take your experience into your own hands.

Rexsoka - Rex/Ahsoka The big one! We are here for ambiguously-shaped relationships that are nonetheless incredibly devoted and intense. They COULD be best friends... or they could be basically married. It doesn't matter! They are two halves of the same black ops specialist.

Jangobi - Jango/Obi-Wan One of these men is an incompetent but well-meaning older brother/dad. One of them is an absentee father to over three million. Together they are... something.

Obitine - Obi-Wan/Satine We are not here for a HAPPY ENDING. We are here for the DRAMA and the TRAUMA and the PINING and DYING IN EACH OTHERS' ARMS.

Jangosoka - Jango/Ahsoka ...................listen, she goes back in time, kicks his ass, and accidentally makes him fall in love with her. I don't know what else to tell you. I've written tens of thousands of words on them.

Bosoka - Bo-Katan/Ahsoka The important part is Ahsoka murdering something and then Bo-Katan killing villains and sending the body parts to her as a courting gift. (I only ship it as a time-travel, but Bo-Katan's age is ambiguous enough that they COULD be in the same age group? As you will.)

Chewku - Chewbacca/Dooku Literally why

DarthFett - Vader/Boba The inherent eroticism of sending this bastard in armor to go kill things for you. Maybe hire him to hunt you for the sport of it. Have some fun with the game. Attempted murder is love.

ObiLeia - Obi-Wan/Leia I know my flowers AND I know a bitch when I see one!

MaulObi - Maul/Obi-Wan What's love without extreme trauma and multiple attempted murders.

Jinmi - Qui-Gon/Shmi He's just very GALLANT to her and we're going to ignore the inherent power imbalance of it because he's such a gentleman to her, and only her, in TPM.

CodyWan - Cody/Obi-Wan The main thing here is that a lot of the people who DO ship it are the same people who are judging me (and others) for enjoying other results from this quiz, and yet... shipping a thirteen-year-old slave with his boss, who is three times his age, and is legally a person when the technically 13yo guy isn't exactly... I mean, it sure is problematic! We don't talk about it much, but it sure is a thing that is in the text! It's not pure and lacking in problems!

Barrissoka - Barriss/Ahsoka Sometimes your girlfriend (20F) frames you (16F) for terrorism and ruins your life. It's fine. Everything is fine. Don't worry about it. You can fix her.

Blyla - Bly/Aayla YES it's a gross abuse of power, but consider this: she pretty.

Codexwalker - Cody/Anakin/Rex Rex is in love with Anakin and Cody wants to ruin That Jedi and also egging Rex on, and when you grow up in a population of three million identical faces, it doesn't ping the Westermarck effect at all, so it's not hitting the incest button, especially when you've got this whining mess of a Skywalker to take apart together.

QuiRael - Qui-Gon/Rael It's not incest but it sure does sound like it if you don't know anything about Jedi Lineages

Anidala - Anakin/Padme YES he choked me out almost to death while I was nine months pregnant on a lava planet. NO I am not giving up on him. I can still fix him.

Obikin - Obi-Wan/Anakin Okay I'm not actually an active shipper of this one, BUT if you don't think time-travel fics where young oblivious Obi-Wan has an immediate crush on his-age-or-older Anakin, which Anakin tries his hardest to ignore while other time-travelers laugh at him for it, is THE ABSOLUTE FUNNIEST THING EVER--

JangoShmi - Jango/Shmi Do they have shared traumas? Yes. Do they have a massive power imbalance? Also yes. Do we care? Only insofar as it makes an interesting fic.

Windwalker - Mace/Anakin Sometimes. Sometimes you have a rage crush on an authority figure. It doesn't go anywhere, but you ARE a teenager with a lot of time and a lot of adrenaline and a magic sword...

ObiAniDala - Obi-Wan/Anakin/Padme We are going to ignore so many things... OR we could feed into it. Anakin's already got enough issues, let's just use his complex and messy relationships with Obi-Wan and Padme to make it all ten times worse.

Padme/Sabe It's literally just the handmaiden/feudal lord meme, but you don't have to believe me. Here's a Sabe quote from the actual novel: "Of course I [love her]. It's a complicated relationship. She can order me to my death, and I will go. And she knows it. We've worked hard to maintain a balance we will never truly have. As far as I can see, she will always pick Naboo, and I will always pick her."

[sometimesiwrite]

The Way It Is

Prompt: Fake Dating

Pairing: Lambert & Essi Other Characters: Julian (Jaskier), Eskel/Geralt

Rating: Teen Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings; platonic/queerplatonic dynamics; pressure to engage sexually; coarse language; alcohol/intoxication; modern AU.

Summary: When Essi and Lambert are setup on a blind date, they don’t expect to get along as well as they do. However, when they decide to keep their relationship platonic and non-romantic, they realize they might face some uncomfortable pressure. For the sake of simplicity, they decide to tell people they’re dating, but is it sustainable? 

@witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo​

Essi fidgeted with the bent corner of her cafe menu, looking around at the various styles of local artworks hanging on the walls. She was early by about ten minutes, but that didn’t stop her from checking the pearlescent dial of her watch every thirty seconds. Finally, the bell above the door tinkled and a man walked in. Essi could tell from the way he was looking around that he was there to meet someone—her. The only other people sitting alone in the cafe were working on laptops and tablets; no one else waiting for a date. And this man was most certainly looking for one. 

He was handsome in a ruffled sort of way, though he’d clearly put in a bit of effort. His black casual dress shirt and slim light-wash jeans fit his lean frame impeccably, and a subtle quantity of mousse was clearly doing its best to tame his short, scruffy brown hair. Even his bristly beard appeared to have been trimmed recently. Though there was nothing particularly remarkable about his clothing, there was something striking about the way he carried himself, a devil-may-care sort of presence that Essi appreciated. For a blind date, she thought, it certainly could be worse. Allegedly, they knew each other, at least based on his abruptly out-of-the-blue text, and the closer she looked, the more her memory of him crystalized. 

A loud ping! emitted from Essi’s phone and the man looked up from his own cellular device, clearly having just texted. 

“Uh, Essi? Essi Daven, right?” He took a step towards her and leaned in, pointing to his phone screen. 

“Yes,” Essi stood to shake his hand, “hi.”

“Nice to see you again. Lambert.”

They sat down awkwardly, both struggling to find the will for smalltalk. 

“So…” Lambert had become keenly interested in a black-and-white digital photograph behind Essi’s shoulder.

“Listen,” Essi could feel the words start to tumble out of her mouth, and it was too late to do anything about it. Lambert raised an eyebrow,  “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to be honest and probably regret it later: I don’t really do this. Dating. I find it strange and uncomfortable and if I’m perfectly honest I think I’d rather die.” She didn’t cringe apologetically, which would have been the expected behaviour to accompany an outpouring of disinterest. Instead she stared at him, wide-eyed, lips slightly pursed as a muscle in her neck twitched, waiting for his response.

Lambert laughed. Genuinely laughed—a joyful release of tension and dread, “Oh, thank Fuck!” Essi blinked in pleasant surprise and watched as Lambert began to relax.

“Excuse me?” Her startlingly blue eyes widened in amusement. 

“No, no, I just mean—I would absolutely and one-hundred percent, without a doubt, rather die in a hole than date,” Lambert slotted the edge of the menu under his fingernails and let his eyes wander a little more freely around the cafe. 

“So then… why?” 

Hm. Direct, frank, amusing lack of filter… the memories were starting to come back from what limited, heavily inebriated, time they’d spent together.

There was something about the straightforwardness of this endearingly odd woman that made Lambert feel infinitely more comfortable. Usually, any kind of interaction with the potential of building mutual interest made him feel like he was playing a game he didn’t know the rules to. The signals, the code words that never meant what they said: having sex on the first date means you’re a slut; not having sex on the third date means you’re a prude; grabbing coffee means this; having dinner means that; if they your arm but don’t invite you up, it means that they’re actually a KGB operative and need to give you the launch codes for a super secret missile...

Fuck that, we have words for a reason. Say what you mean and don’t waste my time. For that reason alone, Essi was already scoring quite well in Lambert’s books. 

He shrugged, “You somehow remembered me from the KM Christmas party almost six months ago, and still asked for my number. I figure that at least deserves a coffee and a conversation.”

Essi was bewildered, “I didn’t ask for your number, you texted me.”

Lambert shook his head, “Impossible. No offense, but I absolutely guarantee you I did not.” He produced their short text exchange and scrolled to the top of their conversation: 

Hi, is this Lambert? From the KM Christmas party? 

You might not remember me, we got talking about 

the political situation in Kashmir after about…

Too many drinks. Eeep! 

Anyway, I’d love to get a coffee sometime, if 

you’re interested. 

Sorry, this is Essi Daven. 

You called me Goldilocks at one point and 

seemed amused XD 

Hope you’re well! 

Essi snatched Lambert’s phone, shocked and slightly outraged as she reached for her own device, opening her thread with Lambert. The text at the top was not from her, but from the man across from her: 

Yeah, hi, this is 

Lambert-from-the-KM-Christmas-party. 

As it happens, I remember you and our 

conversation quite well. Not many folks 

happily get into drunken political discussions

You know what, I wouldn’t mind grabbing a 

coffee. 

Let me know if you’re free in the next couple 

weeks! 

Lambert gestured emphatically at Essi’s phone screen, “In what world is this an acceptable way to ask someone out?! I wouldn’t have said yes to that!”

“I don’t know,” Essi fired back, “It was straightforward! I found it charming, okay? Is that a crime?”

“No, but I have some serious concerns about your taste in men.”

“Like you’re in such a fine position to judge after the hollow, paltry invitation you accepted—which I absolutely did not write, by the way. I want to make that perfectly clear.”

“Alright, alright, cool your jets, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Lambert narrowed his eyes as he passed Essi’s phone back to her, “You didn't fire the first shot, so who texted me from your phone and cleared the history?”

Essi nibbled the inside of her cheek, “I can think of a few.”

“Okay, next question,” Lambert pocketed his phone, “who added you to my contacts before you texted. Because we did not exchange numbers six months ago, but your name was already there when I received it.”

Essi shrugged, “Who has access to your phone?”

“I dunno. Really just Eskel and Geralt and neither of them would—”

“Geralt.”

“Why him?”

Essi’s bright blue eyes turned steely and murderous, “Julian… They’re working together.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that Geralt the-last-thing-I-need Rivia and Julian Alfred these-aren't-my-pants Pankratz think we're so helplessly undateable that they decided to secretly set us up?” 

“Eskel doesn’t know me that well; he wouldn’t try to set you up with someone he hadn’t vetted. Who did you talk to first when you got that text from me?”

Lambert’s eyes widened, “Holy shit, they’re working together.”

Essi nodded, a flood of embarrassment warming her cheeks. “Sorry to waste your time. You’re very nice but, um, I should just…” she got up to leave.

“Wh-hey, hold up. I mean, if you wanna go, go, that's fine, but there's something you might want to know first.”

Essi tossed her yellow bangs out of her eyes, “Oh? What's that?”

“This,” Lambert produced an Amex credit card from his breast pocket, “is Geralt's.” The cheeky glint in his eyes was a very convincing argument.

“Fine then. Coffee and a conversation.” 

The coffee was hot and decent, and the conversation meandered through the usual topics of music, movies, and television, but also dipped into deeper waters as they grew more comfortable with each other’s company. Of course, it didn’t hurt that neither of them had any stakes in the outcome of this “date”. It made it easier to be frank and open, which in turn led to them quickly enjoying their time together. So much so that coffee turned into lunch, which turned into a long walk in the pleasant weather, which finally landed them outside Essi’s apartment, just around dinner time. 

“I have to say, this was actually a pleasant encounter,” she said, turning to face him with a characteristic toss of her bangs. 

“Yeah, who’d’ve thought two people forced together by meddling friends would actually find it enjoyable?” 

“In light of that,” Essi squared her shoulders and found Lambert’s hazel-brown eyes, “I think it’s fair to say I want to see you again.”

He cringed regretfully and scratched the back of his head, “Ahh, yeah, so… I don’t know if that’s really--”

“Oh, relax,” Essi smirked with a casual touch to Lambert’s forearm. “I don't mean like that. I just mean--you're interesting and fun and, well I don't have many close friends and I feel like we connected well today.”

“Well…”

“I'll make it even simpler: I absolutely, one-hundred percent, am not interested in dating you.”

“Easy there, you know I love it when people get all straightforward with me.” 

“I mean it, I just want to be friends,” she toyed back, trying her best to look sultry. It kind of worked.

Lambert bit his lower lip in mock arousal, “Mmm, oh yeah...”

She swayed her shoulders forward and back, doing her best to emulate the seductive actresses and models of the 1950s, “I want to Netflix and chill with a documentary about Soviet propaganda.”

Her last comment prompted a playfully stern look from her companion, “Careful now, you’re wading into actual turn-on territory.” 

“You're such a weirdo,” Essi chuckled, giving him an endeared shove. “Seriously, though, would you like to do this again? Friends?” 

He nodded sincerely, “Yeah, I think I'd really like that. Just one problem, though.”

“If we claim not to be interested in each other but keep hanging out we’ll never hear the end of it?” 

“Bingo.” 

Essi hummed thoughtfully and nibbled the inside of her bottom lip, “Well… we could always… pretend?” 

***

“Sounds like you two are hitting it off. I’m glad. I know Essi’s been feeling a little isolated between work and being new to the city.” Geralt closed the fridge with his foot and headed towards the sofa, popcorn in one hand, three beers in the other. “I’ll take my card back, by the way.” 

Lambert reluctantly handed the Amex back in exchange for a beer and perched on the arm of the sofa. “She’s really something. We’re, uh—yeah, hitting it off is a good word.”

And hitting it off, they were. The last ten days since their first “date” had been more enjoyable than all the dates he’d had in the last year combined. Essi was a fantastic companion: sharp, witty, kind, took no bullshit… They had done absolutely nothing but hang out, and no one had pried them for many details about the nature of their relationship. As far as their friend group was concerned, they were simply dating in the way that most adults dated. This also meant more time to themselves without unwanted interruptions (namely Julian barging in with his spare key to gossip about whatever fires were currently alight on twitter). The first night Lambert had been over, it took Julian all of five minutes to “grab something from the fridge” before parting with a knowing wink. 

To her credit and imagination, Essi had expertly fielded her cousin’s initial barrage of questions when she first announced their “involvement.” It wasn’t that she didn’t like her cousin, Essi adored Julian, but she was also the first to admit that the man had no boundaries. What he lacked in that arena, he certainly made up for with opinions, which he was always more than happy to bestow on his younger cousin—usually dating advice, almost always unsolicited. Lambert had a much easier time convincing his side that he and Essi were taking it easy to see where things went. Between Eskel being a consummate gentleman and Geralt having his own Delicate Sensibilities, neither of them had demanded any details. 

“As long as you’re both happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters,” Geralt’s partner reiterated, reaching into the bowl on Geralt’s lap. 

“Jesus, Eskel, you sound like my Nonna.”

“That's no way to talk to your father,” Geralt smirked into his hand of popcorn

“You're no better,” Lambert took a swig from his beer, lips popping as he lowered the bottle. “I swear, you've turned into a couple of mother hens since you two got together. Quit fussing and watch the game.” 

Geralt put his arm around Eskel’s shoulders, “We have gotten a little soft haven’t we?”

Eskel huffed out a laugh, “Probably. Hey, Lambert, don't fuck it up or I'll kick your ass into next week.” 

“Thank you. See? Was that so hard?” 

“Eh,” Eskel shrugged, helping himself to another handful of popcorn, “I stand by my original statement. Geralt agrees.” 

“It's true,” he said between mouthfuls. “Essi’s a good woman. Smart, talented, kind, attractive.” 

Eskel cleared his throat.

“Eskel, she is, it's just a statement of fact it doesn't mean that she doesn’t have other…”

“I know it doesn't but I still think you could bear to be a little more…”

“Funny thing,” Lambert interrupted, “I still can’t figure out how this smart, talented, kind, attractive woman’s number programmed itself into my phone. Because I may have been drunk the night we first met, but I have never in my life forgotten a successful number grab. Fess up, fellas. Who was it?”

Eskel’s eyes widened, “Geralt, you didn’t.”  

“I… may have… helped Julian gain access to Lambert’s phone.”

“Unbelievable. The betrayal,” Lambert shook his head, eyes still on the game. “If only there was some way to square things up…”

“You charged everything to my company card, didn’t you?”

“First two dates and a fresh pair of pants. Thanks, bud.” Geralt accepted a pat on the back as Eskel began gently but sternly berating him.

Lambert shook his head, smirking as he took another swig of beer, leaving the two lovebirds to bicker amongst themselves. His hip pocket buzzed and he checked his phone: Essi. 

Next Wednesday? Pizza and a movie?  Still can't believe you haven't seen  Ocean’s Eleven. 

Yeah, okay, fine. Jeez :P 7:30 my place? I'll provide beverages. 

If by ‘beverages’ you mean watery beer…

Fuck off, I'll get the good stuff. Unless  you prefer Arbor Mist or some shit. 

*gasps* I am offended! (but also it's delicious)

*sigh* do you want me to get you some?

*turtles into hoodie* ...peach or cherry pls? 

Haha okay, fine, I'll get a bottle. Can't promise  I won't judge you forever, though ;) 

It's okay, I deserve it.  g2g, see you tomorrow! xox 

***

Lambert groaned contentedly, massaging his stomach as he sprawled back on his aging brown sofa, long legs resting habitually on the coffee table. The now-empty pizza box lay abandoned on the far edge, accompanied by four empty beer bottles, and a nearly-empty, unfavourably warm Peach Arbor Mist. The toilet flushed and Essi emerged. Her dark gold hair had long ago been pulled into a messy bun, but her indigo skinny jeans had been replaced by soft-looking grey leggings. 

Lambert shook his head in amusement as she settled back next to him on the couch, "I still can't believe you brought your own lounge pants"

"That's because I'm a genius," she quipped, crossing her legs and adjusting the height of her waistband. "Besides, when else will I have the opportunity to actually be comfortable during a date?" 

"You took your bra off, too, didn't you?" Lambert asked without missing a beat, eyes never leaving the screen. 

"Yup!" Essi confirmed, her sparkling blue eyes glinting with joy as she raised her glass to her lips.

The movie continued as the new friends settled into comfortable silence, their food-drowsy, alcohol-fuzzy states lulling them into a new level of comfortability around each other. Legs fell asleep, positions were adjusted, and shoulders leaned on as the two sought maximum comfort for minimum effort. Soon, an arm was around Essi's shoulder as she settled her cheek on a comfortable spot on Lambert's chest. 

"You good?" Lambert asked, only half-irritated at her seemingly endless search for the perfect angle. 

"I'm sorry, I thought I'd found a good spot, but..." A few more adjustments of her head and Lambert couldn't take it anymore. 

"Jesus, woman, here. Get up for a sec."

Essi sat up as Lambert rearranged himself into a sort of semi-recline with one foot on the floor so his other leg could make room for the tiny pain-in-the-ass that was taking up the rest of the couch space. At his invitation, she wriggled up to the crook of his arm and quickly settled in. Lambert hadn't really thought about what they were doing. Not when Essi had harmlessly leaned against his arm; not when their weight settled into each other; not when Lambert had put his arm around her; not even as he was rearranging to get to where they were now. It had all just... happened. Now, though, with Essi lying still, Lambert felt the weight and warmth of her body shifting gently against his, and it dawned on him that this had the potential to be, well, weird.

But the strange thing was, it didn't feel weird. He'd fucking cuddled before, but there was always a sense of holding back, a tension in his body, being on the lookout for signals from the other person to move onto the Next Step. But now, he actually felt comfortable. There wasn't anything that was supposed to happen after this. Nobody was asking anything of him, no one sending signals he could pick up on but never read properly, no sinking feelings of dread as the other person moved in for a kiss that always felt too soon. Essi was just there, breathing, content. And Lambert was relaxed.

The woman half-on top of him gave a twitch as the credits started to roll, and Lambert let out a private laugh, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, show's over." 

Essi inhaled heavily through her nose and lifted herself up, "Hmmm?" 

"Movie's over." 

"Did I fall asleep? I'm sorry!" she sat and rubbed her eyes, taking a sip of water to rinse the stale taste from her mouth. 

"Eh, only a little." Lambert exited Netflix and tossed the remote back on to the table. "Thought you might wanna start heading home before it gets too late." 

Essi nodded in response as she grabbed the pizza box and brought it to the kitchen trash, leaving Lambert to bring the empties. 

"You going to finish this atrocity of a beverage?" Lambert waggled the near-empty wine bottle at Essi as he passed on his way to the sink. She merely scowled and shook her head, letting him pour it down the drain 'where it belonged anyway'.

Essi gathered her things and met Lambert by his front door, checking her pockets for her phone and keys one last time before putting her shoes on. 

"You okay to walk? Want me to come with?" 

It was only 10:30 on a weeknight, and she appreciated the gesture all the same, but it was fine to walk. "Thanks, though. And thank you for tonight. I really needed to get out of the house. I hope, um..." 

She trailed off, not sure how to ask. She didn't have the same physical boundaries that most others seemed to have. She was affectionate—often overly so, and it had led to more than a few misunderstandings in the past. She didn't want Lambert to feel as though she had ulterior motives when the simple fact of the matter was that she hadn't really been thinking. Between the instant relief of not actually being on a date and Lambert's easy manner all evening, she'd forgotten that most friendships didn’t generally involve that much physical contact. Would Lambert be confused now? Thinking they were onto something more than friendship? Had he been wanting more? Had she pushed past a point of no return and doomed their friendship?

She inhaled, "Were you comfortable tonight?" 

For a split second, Lambert flailed, wondering whether he’d made her uncomfortable. Fuck, she'd seemed comfortable, if anything it felt like he’d been following her lead but maybe...

"I—yeah. That was, I enjoyed that. Were... were you not—?" 

Essi smiled and Lambert relaxed again, "No, I was. I wanted to ask in case, that's all. Boundaries and all that. I'll text you when I'm home." 

Lambert opened the door and waved her off toward the elevator, "'Kay. 'Night!" 

The door clicked shut. 

Okay, alright. Fine. Did they cuddle? Yes. Did he enjoy it? Fuck yes. He absolutely didn’t care what anyone might think about how he chose to enjoy his time with other people. However, this didn’t stop him from acknowledging that he was in uncharted friendship territory. More than anything, he was worried about how Essi really felt. Of course, she had no reason not to be honest with him. But the last thing he wanted to do was play fast and loose with someone’s emotions, especially not a friend, and definitely not one as close as Essi. Time would tell. As Lambert’s head hit the pillow, the memory of her warmth and weight settled over him again, and he slept soundly for the first time in months.

***

“Yes Poppet, but have you slept together yet? Honestly, you’ve been dating for almost three weeks now, what could you possibly be waiting for?” 

Oh, I don’t know, hell to freeze over? You to mind your own business? Whichever comes first… 

“I mean, you clearly adore one another, I’ve never seen you happier. What’s there to lose?’”

Essi scoffed. 

Julian placed his hands on her shoulders, “I know it’s been a while for you, but I think you can afford to let yourself go a little, have some fun, hm? Besides, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if you’re sexually incompatible.”

She took a deep breath, “That’s a very good point, Julian, I’ll think about that.” The dating act was starting to wear a little thin, but it was worth not having to explain to anyone that they weren’t doing exactly what it looked like they were doing. 

Julian took time to give his cousin a scrutinizing look, “Well, by the look of things it won’t be long anyway. If you spend all of your time together as tangled up as you were the other night when I came over, it’ll happen sooner rather than later. Just trust your gut, and when in doubt, a little hint never goes awry.”

Needless to say, Essi more or less ignored her cousin’s advice.

As the weeks stretched on, it became evident that they were quickly becoming what most people would consider to be more than friends. The first time they pulled the covers back and climbed into bed, each on their half of the mattress, they were aware that yet another boundary of friendship had been pushed a little farther into the grey zone. But, they woke up the next morning feeling happy, content, and refreshed, and surely there was nothing wrong with two people sharing a comfortable bed. Essi had woken up with crust in her eyes and her nightgown bunched around her waist. Lambert had woken up with morning wood and his hair a mess. Neither of them cared. People wake up in the morning, big deal. 

Still, it didn’t stop the questioning that oscillated in the background of Lambert’s mind. Was he unknowingly leading Essi on by allowing her so much closeness without a clearly defined relationship? She’d made her own disinterest clear enough on their first “date”,  but feelings change over time. What she’d told him three weeks ago might not be true anymore… 

And then there was that soft warm tingle in the middle of his chest every time she lay her head in his lap, every time he ran his fingers through her hair. He knew he wasn't in love. Not that he was an expert, but what was all that "when you know, you know" bullshit if he couldn’t trust his own feelings? He loved her, sure, but more like a... not a sister, that would be weird. He didn't know what like. Whatever. Fuck it. Eskel had said it best three weeks ago: “As long as you're happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters.” Yeah, sure. We’ll stick with that.

As far as Lambert and Essi were concerned, it was what it was, and whatever it was was working… wasn’t it?

***

"Fuckin' finally!" 

The door to Essi's apartment clicked closed as the tenant wilted against it, emitting an exhausted groan, "Two. Hours. It took me two hours to get home!" She toed off her penny loafers and abandoned her purse and jacket in a pile by the front door, ignoring the hook three inches to her left. She flopped heavily onto her living room carpet. 

"I see you found my spare key," she added, not at all surprised that Lambert had managed to let himself in. 

"Yeah, you should probably put that in a less obvious spot," he answered, crossing to the door to hang her things up. "So, I see it's a lying on the floor kind of evening. Can I interest you in a drink to start? Vodka pairs well with the general vibe of Done-With-This-Shit, or we also have tequila if you feel like shouting out the window after a couple shots. Alternatively, there's gin if you want to cry later." 

Essi smiled with her eyes closed, feeling her body slowly relaxing into the spongy throw rug underneath her, "You know me so well." 

"Vodka?" 

"Vodka. Euch, I need to vacuum!," Essi peeled herself to a seated position as clinks and clatters began in the kitchen. She hopped in the shower to rinse the day off, and after a few minutes, there was a knock on the bathroom door. 

"Yeeees?" she called, playfully. 

"Drink delivery!" Lambert hollered back, "you want this now or later?" 

"Why are you so good to me?" 

There was a draught of cool air as Lambert opened the bathroom door, "Because you only marginally annoy me. Here," he passed his hand between the shower wall and the opaque fish-scale-patterned curtain. "What's on the docket for tonight?" 

Essi groaned, "I don't know, I'm sorry. I used all my brain cells trying not to murder people on the streetcar." 

"Okay," Lambert sat on the lidded toilet, "here's the thing. I kinda maybe figured that might be the case so I kinda maybe picked up a few things to make dinner." 

A shampoo-piled head poked out from behind the curtain, "You're kidding." 

"Nuh-uh." 

"I love you." 

Lambert chuckled, "Yeah, you're alright. Come on, hurry up, this bathroom's a fuckin’ sauna, and I don’t want the croutons to get soggy." Essi burbled an answer about conditioner and almost done, and Lambert took that as his cue to leave.

Dinner was simple: pan fried Salmon with crispy skin (delicate and buttery on the inside); wax beans in butter (tender and not overcooked); grilled brussels sprouts (just beginning to brown on the edges); and a fresh caesar salad. Everything done to perfection. Full, content, and ready to take their relaxation to the next step they settled themselves on Essi’s blue-grey sectional to begin the arduous task of deciding what to watch. 

This was proving particularly difficult with the addition of Essi's caveat that whatever they chose not be "too plot-heavy" which so far had included Masterchef, an interior design show, and program about shepherding in the Orkneys. 

"Sweetheart, you gotta give me some slack here. I thought I was on track with the sheep!" 

"I know, I'm sorry!" Essi muffled into his shirt sleeve. "I do like animals..." She gasped loudly. "BLUE PLANET."

Lambert stopped the endless scrolling and pushed play as the soothing voice of David Attenborough filled the small living room.

"Hey! Why'd you pause it?" 

Lambert was standing up, "If we're going to do this, then we're doing it right. Hang on." 

Essi slumped on the sofa as the microwave kicked on. In a few minutes, there was popcorn in their laps and half a bottle of vodka on the table with an ice bucket and lemon wedges in a bowl. Lambert read off his phone screen.

"We will take a drink when: 

-David says 'Extraordinary' -David uses a clear understatement such as 'But then again, living in an active volcano is not without its risks' -An animal is being eaten -An animal is mating -There is sped up footage of a plant growing."

"Oh no," Essi lamented, chewing her popcorn ungracefully, "I'm going to get so drunk." 

"You got it, Goldilocks. Fill up."

And with that, they were off, taking it slow with their vodka twists, but nonetheless feeling the warm buzz start to tingle under their skin. The box of microwave popcorn was empty by halfway through, and the remains of Essi's exhaustion had almost dispersed entirely.

"Ooh! Understatement! Drink!!" 

By ten o’clock, pink-cheeked and feeling boisterous, they had finished with their favourite parts of Blue Planet, or at least the ones they had patience for, and had moved on to Planet Earth II.

“Holy fuck, that’s a lot of snakes—Go, you little fucker! Go!”

The drama on the screen had caused the two to separate from one another while Lambert invested himself in the success of the small lizard. Once the baby Galapagos Iguana had made it to safety, they were once again able to recline without Essi risking an elbow to the face.

She bundled against him, scooting farther between his legs where he leaned in the corner of the sectional. He gathered her hair and draped it over her left shoulder so it wouldn't get caught in his buttons—they'd learned that the hard way. It was still damp, cool to the touch, and smelled like verbena sea salt shampoo. He felt a pulse of affection ripple through him as her weight resettled. He loved that feeling. It had taken some time to get used to it. But now it was high on his list of favourite things. He was happy. And it was healthy. And that really was all that mattered. 

Right?

Eskel’s words turned themselves around again in his mind as he wrapped his arm around the front of Essi’s shoulders. He let himself indulge in the texture of her cotton knit nightshirt under his fingers. He relished in the peace of mind at being able to just be there with someone who meant something to him and made absolutely no demands. He let himself relax. 

Essi felt a kiss land on the top of her head with a playful, "Muwah!" 

She giggled quietly, "Thank you!" Then, upon further thought… Did he want to kiss her? Her mind did a double take as she tried to get on top of the ball.  

It wasn’t impossible. They were close after all, and she wasn’t opposed to the idea. She’d recently found herself in a balancing act of realizing she could, in theory, have a deeper kind of feeling for Lambert. Only if, for whatever reason, it turned out he felt the same way. These weren’t the helpless uncontrollable feelings of ride-or-die infatuation; they were malleable, translatable, general feelings of affection and fondness that belonged in any number of different relationships and dynamics. 

No sense risking it, she thought. They'd found a liminal space of comfort and safety that she'd never experienced with anyone else before, and if the options were between being a little confused and ruining everything, the choice was an easy one. Then again, if Lambert was developing feelings for her, she didn’t want to miss an opportunity. Shit. Her cheeks burned as she felt the question rise closer to her lips. 

"Lambert?" she sat up abruptly and turned to her friend who was still moulded into the corner of the couch, watching the mating rituals of exotic birds with bewildered skepticism. 

He jolted at Essi’s sudden movement, "Hello, yes." 

Her bright blue eyes were now slightly unfocused, "Do you—? Nevermind." She lay back against him, suddenly skittish..

"Mm, nah, try again," he said, sluggishly. "What’s up, buttercup?" 

She swayed a little when she sat up, "Are you happy with what we are?"

Lambert blinked, caught slightly off-guard. The question was easy enough to answer, "Yeah! I mean I don’t know what the fuck we are, but I’m feeling pretty good about it. Shit, why? Are you not? I can be less… whatever. Or… more?" It wasn’t like he was repulsed by the idea of anything else happening between them—in theory it was a possibility. In practice, however...

Essi put an emphatic hand on Lambert’s knee, her glassy eyes going wide, "Do you want more?" 

"What? No! I dunno, I—maybe. I haven’t really thought about it. I mean…” Lambert searched Essi’s face for any clue that might help him know how to proceed, “I don’t not want anything else. Fuck, I don’t know! I’m used to doing things the other way around. You know the drill: uncomfortable date, smoosh faces together, have sex, hope feelings fall out. Lather-rinse-repeat. I dunno, do we have to… But what if we try something and...? I don’t wanna lose this." 

Essi leaned in close and whispered, “I have an idea.”

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" 

"We should kiss."

Lambert nearly swallowed an ice cube, "What?!"

"Just once. Quickly. Just... in case." 

"You want me, Lambert, to kiss you, Essi Daven, on the lips."

She nodded sincerely, "For science."

There was a brief pause during which Essi felt the beginnings of panic brewing in her stomach, but by the time she'd finished grappling with potential consequences, Lambert was filling their glasses. 

"Alright. Fine. My friend wants me to kiss her for science? Fuck it. I'll drink to that." 

They downed their drinks and squared up, knee to knee on the edge of the sofa as they each prepared for their best form—or as good as they could offer given the circumstances. They counted down, 3-2-1...

The kiss was quick, over as soon as it had begun, and both friends pulled away with questioning looks. Inconclusive. They tried again for a little longer, still returning with the same quizzical expressions. They went in for a third time, committing more thoroughly, and for a brief moment it seemed they might have found the semblance of a spark. But it didn’t build. It felt… fine? But no different than if they were lying together on the sofa. It was just another thing they were doing. They each tried to find the right word for what they were feeling, but were soon distracted by the oddness of it all.   

Essi started to giggle. Less than a second later, Lambert joined her, and they both pulled away, thoroughly satisfied that their experiment had yielded a strong No on the subject of More. There was a dull thud as Essi slid from the couch and onto the floor, still holding her drink in one hand and laughing hysterically. 

Lambert sighed and shook his head, "I think it’s time we got you to bed."

Headaches and dry mouths greeted the two friends the next morning when they blinked awake. Essi’s hair was a cotton-candy mess, having still been slightly damp when Lambert put her to bed. The brunet himself didn’t look much different from his usual scruffy state as he gathered Essi up in an armful of duvet and squeezed tight.

“Gods, Lambert, I still need to breathe,” Essi chuckled, pressing her back into his chest. 

“You’ll get over it,” he teased and self-indulgently nuzzled even closer. “You feeling alright? I mean, aside from the hangover. About last night?” 

“Oh no,” Essi groaned, “I’m so sorry, Lambert. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just—you kissed my head and then that got me wondering about whether you might want something else, and then I didn’t really know what was happening and—” 

“Hey, easy on the rambling, okay, I’m running on limited brain cells, here. Look,” Lambert sat up to find those big blue eyes, now shining brightly, “I have no idea what the fuck this is that we’ve got going on, but I like it fine just the way it is.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And we can keep talking about that. Just, you know, maybe next time something’s on your mind, don’t wait ‘til we’re wasted at 2am?”

“Okay, deal. Can we go get bacon now?”

Lambert chuckled, “Yeah, alright, fine. Make me put pants on, I see how it is.”

Their conversation continued over strong coffee and eggs benedicts. Between their check-in that morning and everything that had happened the previous night, it was well-established that they were perfectly happy where they were. Rather, the main topic of conversation was their growing desire to level with their friends about the nature of their relationship. Eskel and Geralt, they both agreed, would be the easiest—Lambert could tell them that evening. Julian and Essi’s friends on the other hand would be a little more difficult. 

Telling Julian together would be best, Essi thought. He was bound to have questions, and if both she and Lambert were there to answer them definitively and explain that no, they didn’t have secret feelings for one another; and yes, they really were just friends and not at all interested in exploring the relationship further thank you very much. Exactly when this discussion with Julian would occur still wasn’t clear. Realistically, they could pick any time, but they decided to wait until Lambert could tell the Old Men. At least then they were assured some less invasive support. 

Their reaction was easy enough to predict: Eskel reassuringly repeated his standby “As long as you’re both happy with things…” and twirled a forkful of pasta; Geralt tilted his head thoughtfully and said, “That sounds very nice. I’m happy for you.” Lambert had expected mild disapproval, concern that they were deviating too far from the norm and into a complex dynamic that would be too messy to manage. Instead, Geralt simply said it ‘sounded very nice.’ Lambert smiled into the open refrigerator on his way to get a beer. 

The following weekend was Julian’s birthday, and, as per their annual tradition, the group all gathered on Friday evening at the birthday boy’s favourite restaurant—Vegelbud’s. The two decided to tell him the week after his birthday so as not to detract from his Big 3-0. Just one more week, and it would all be in the open. Easy breasy.

The afternoon of the dinner, Eskel and Geralt received a group text: Haven’t told Julian the details yet. Keep the beans to yourselves please (I’m looking at you, @Eskel). 

“Why me?” Eskel turned to Geralt over his paperwork, looking a little hurt. 

Geralt chuckled, “You have a slight tendency to overshare when you want to be supportive.”

“I do?” He turned on the bar stool to follow his partner on the way upstairs.

“It’s not a bad thing, but…” Geralt sighed, “Lambert has always needed to feel in control of situations like this. He doesn’t want one of us bringing this up before he’s ready to talk about it, especially in a public place, you know how he gets when he feels cornered. And Julian is Essi’s cousin…”

Eskel raised a hand, “You’re right, you’re right. All points taken. Are you showering?”

Geralt smirked as he headed for the stairs, “Come on then.” 

Four hours later and halfway through dinner, everything had gone swimmingly. The food had been expectedly delicious, the company and conversation excellent, and so far no one had felt the need to bring up Essi and Lambert’s relationship on any level. That is until Julian got a few drinks under his belt, and decided it was time to document the occasion. Geralt and Eskel were the first victims. 

“Aww just look at you two! So in love, so vivacious and full of adoration,” Julian held up his phone as Geralt touched the side of his head to Eskel’s. Beep-Chk! A perfect image of a happy couple was captured and posted to Instagram (#julianturns30 #dinneratvagelbuds #dinnerout #cutiesofinstagram #favoriteotp #gaycouplesofinstagram #livelaughlove…). There were a few more photos of the three of them together, the white chocolate raspberry cheesecake with the candle in it, a group shot taken by the waiter. It was all so close to being over, Essi could practically taste the refuge of the streetcar. 

"Come on, lovebirds, show us a smooch!" Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Essi’s stomach lurched and she felt her cheeks start to warm. Lambert’s hand landed gently on her knee under the table, his fingers pressing firmly into her leg as she desperately tried to think of something to say. 

"Oh, um..." 

Across the table, Geralt and Eskel shared a wordless communication: de-escalate, distract, redirect.

“You’ll want to eat that cheesecake before it gets warm” Geralt offered. “I hear it’s so light it’ll disintegrate in a heartbeat.” Eskel nodded in encouragement, taking a bite of his own. 

“I know, I know,” Julian shrugged, “Just a quick one. Say Cheese!”

"Not right now, Julian," Essi tilted her head, her eyes flashing a little. 

"Oh come on, Poppet! I know you don't like PDA, it's just one little picture--"

“Don’t call me Poppet.”

Eskel cleared his throat loudly, "Doesn't seem they're that keen on it. Maybe let's try for one another time." 

"It's past your one-month-a-versary, let everyone see how in love you are." 

"Julian," Geralt growled, "leave it." 

Julian covered his mouth in alarm, "I’m so sorry, have you not used that word yet? I didn’t mean anything by it, I just want the world to see how happy my beautiful cousin is!" 

“Really Julian, it’s not necessary we—” Essi’s fingernails were starting to dig into Lambert’s palm from the sheer effort of maintaining composure. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to cry or disappear, and with neither of those being an option, it seemed the only possible escape was for them to kiss. They’d done it before. No big deal. It would feel off, but they’d just go back to her place and drink about it after. 

“Essi, what’s the matter with you, it’s just one little picture, and we all know you’re not camera-shy. On three, ready? One, two…”

"For fuck's sake we're not dating!" 

The table all silently turned their attention to Essi whose cheeks had been turning progressively redder. 

“What?” Her cousin laughed incredulously. 

“We’re not a couple, Julian. We’re friends. We have been from the beginning, but we didn’t want to tell you because we knew you wouldn’t fucking leave us alone until you could boast about having set us up.”

Lambert shared a brief look with Eskel before lowering his eyes to the tablecloth, his hand still firmly clutched in Essi’s. 

Julian gaped, “So, it was all… the cuddling, the laughing, that time I came over and you were asleep on the couch, that was all… a ruse?” 

“No, Julian, that was real. I told you, we’re friends.”

“That’s not friends! Since when have friends watched a movie half-on-top of each other?” 

“Two people can enjoy each other's company lying flat, Julian,” Eskel’s rich voice interjected across the table and the discussion ground to a halt. 

Geralt shrugged with his tea at his lips, “It is the twenty-first century after all.”

Julian’s cornflower blue eyes flitted back and forth between the two friends, utterly bewildered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well what with your complete and utter invasion of privacy for the sake of hooking us up, we didn’t necessarily trust you to believe us,” Essi answered curtly, her hand shaking slightly. 

“Poppet, you could have just told me—”

“Stop. Calling me that. And I did tell you, Julian!” she exploded. “I told you the first day I moved here. The first. Day. I said, ‘Julian, I think I want to take a break from dating until I’ve been settled for a year.’ And what did you do? Conspired with my well-meaning former mentor to hook me up with someone I had one good conversation with at a Christmas party. And do you know what? We are happy. But we’re happy in our own way. And maybe our boundaries with each other seem a little strange to you, but we’re not fooling ourselves. We don’t want to kiss each other, we don’t want to have sex, and we don’t want a relationship. And even though it’s absolutely none of your damn business, I’ll tell you anyway: we’ve talked about it. All of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I don’t think I want to be here anymore.” 

The chair legs scraped against the floor of the restaurant as Essi stood to leave, throwing her purse over her shoulder as she went. Lambert looked hesitantly around the table, “I should probably, you know…” He gestured after Essi with his thumb. Eskel gave Lambert the go ahead and he quickly stood to follow his friend out of the restaurant, leaving a very stunned Julian with the other two. He found her perched on the parking barrier in the small lot to the left of the front doors. He called to her and she looked up. Eyes shining, mascara running... 

“Ah shit, you know I’m no good with this kind of thing.” 

“I’m sorry, Lambert, I just—” she blew her nose, “—he just wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do or say, and it all just came pouring out. I didn’t want it to. The whole time I was begging myself to stop, but I just couldn’t, it’s been bottled up for so long and-and—but it’s his birthday, and—oh, he must feel so awful! I didn’t want to make him feel bad, but—and with Eskel and Geralt there too! They must think I’m horrible! I’m so sorry, Lambert, I didn’t want it to be like this, I wanted to have him over and sit him down and be patient, and instead I’ve just made a complete mess of things. And on his birthday! It’s his birthday, oh God, this is the worst thing I could have done.” Essi choked back bitter tears as she tried desperately to stem the flow with her soggy tissue, “Are you upset with me, Lambert? If you are, I understand. Maybe we should take a break of some kind, you know. Not see each other for a while and—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there. Look, I’m probably not going to say any of the right stuff here, but I am absolutely not upset with you. You got that? And for what it’s worth, I don’t think us taking a break from spending time together is going to do anything. Unless you’re looking to punish yourself by taking away a nice thing which, okay. But the fact that you’re willing to ditch me instead of Arbor Mist says something about our friendship I’m not too pleased with.” 

Essi turned her wide, pleading, bloodshot eyes to Lambert who cracked a smile, “Jesus, I’m kidding! You adorable fucking mess, c’mere.” He pulled his petite friend into a hug and rested his chin on the top of her head until she quieted down. Neither of them was quite sure how much time had gone by, but Essi found herself wishing it had been long enough for everyone to have gone home so she didn’t have to face whatever aftermath she’d left behind. 

Meanwhile, Eskel and Geralt had settled the bill and offered to give Julian a lift back to their place for a night cap, not wanting to leave the evening on such an unsettled note. Essi needed space, and whatever company she needed, Lambert was clearly capable of providing. It was for the best, they suggested, and dissuaded Julian from trying to call her. 

“Best to sleep on things,” Geralt said, tucking his card back into his wallet and giving the waiter a nod in gratitude. “We can meet for coffee this weekend and sort this out. For now, just let her cool down.” 

Eskel clapped Julian encouragingly on the shoulder as they made their way into the damp summer night air. As they turned into the parking lot, they came face-to-face with Essi and Lambert who had clearly just turned to come back inside. Both cousins looked like they had seen better days: Essi’s eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks blotchy and streaked with inky makeup stains; Julian was perhaps less dishevelled, but the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced, his boyish features now dejectedly weighted down with remorse and hurt. 

“Juian, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—” 

Essi’s cousin raised his hand, “Don’t. Please don’t. Essi, I am so, so sorry. I never meant to push you like that, I didn't realize... you both have been so happy this last month and—"

"It's okay, really, we can talk about this all another time. I'm just so sorry I ruined your birthday. We wanted to sit down with you and talk properly but..." Essi's tears welled up again, and Julian smiled weakly. 

"But we both did what we always do?"

She sniffed, nodding emphatically with a tearful, "Yeah.” Julian pulled his cousin into a fond embrace while the other three clumped together to watch the reconciliation. 

“Oh! Here,” Essi reached into her purse and pulled out a small, neatly-wrapped box. “Happy birthday!” 

Julian opened his gift without a second thought, his face brightening instantly. The box contained a set of premium ultra-light guitar strings and a pair of concert tickets. The perfect gift. Overwhelmed with gratitude, and the atmosphere having been recovered, Julian suggested they all attend brunch together that Sunday morning, his treat by way of apology. Geralt offered to split the bill as a peace offering for his part in the initial setup, and the five made a date. 

A fresh start, a promise of spending time together with fewer secrets and, Julian conceded, a few more boundaries. 

[freddieslater]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Caroline Forbes x Seline (The Vampire Diaries)

"I feel like I shouldn't even have to say this," Bonnie sets down her coffee and stares at Caroline; a stern, slightly disbelieving and exasperated stare, "but don't sleep with the babysitter."

She says it with such conviction, too, as if it's a genuine concern. Like she's going to just waltz up to the new girl and suggest it! 

Caroline rolls her eyes, laughing, and replies, maybe a bit too testily, "I'm not going to sleep with her! I just..." She takes a deep breath and tries again -- without the sheepish smile this time. "She's... I just think that..."

"She's hot and you want to have sex with her."

"That's--!" Her words actually register, alongside an image of Seline, the new babysitter, as of this morning and Caroline slumps with a defeated sigh, "--totally true."

Bonnie picks her cup back up to take a drink and totally not to disguise the smile that Caroline can see on her face, plain as day. Groaning, she drops her head onto her arms with a thump. 

Bringing up the interview was a bad idea. Coffee with Bonnie had just seemed like a good opportunity to whine a bit about how infuriatingly perfect Seline was throughout the entire interview, because she can't say anything to Ric without him going all gooey-eyed and gushing even more about how great she seems. And he wouldn't even listen to her when she tried to point out that it was so obviously all just a ploy to try and seduce him, and get under his skin!

For what reason... she actually isn't sure. But it worked! Because now she's under Caroline's skin as well like the slightering little snake she is, if snakes were slender, and had impossibly smooth skin, and were able to work their venom into your veins without even touching you!

Another groan escapes Caroline but it comes out as more of a pathetic whimper if she's honest. She props her chin on her arms and pouts. 

"Why couldn't she be really horrible so that we were forced to hire the old lady nanny?" she asks miserably. "Couldn't she be like every other stranger in our lives and turn out to be some bloodthirsty monster, or an ancient, evil witch with a murderous vendetta? Why did she have to be perfect and... sparkly?"

Bonnie's eyebrows raise, and she laughs, sets down her cup, and shakes her head at her like she's the saddest sight she's seen. And that's saying a lot; she dated Jeremy, for gods sake. 

"All right, you need to pull yourself together," Bonnie tells her, leaning in across the table with a smile that's getting far too much entertainment out of this for the words coming out of her mouth. "Or else you're going to end up getting sparkly with this girl. I repeat: Do. Not. Sleep with. The nanny."

"Fine," Caroline says but she isn't convinced by her own agreement. She sits up straight, finally shaking herself out of this ridiculousness, and repeats, more clearly and calmly, "I'm not going to do anything with the nanny that would count as even slightly unprofessional. All conversations will be about the girls, or Ric, since she is clearly already trying to get her perfectly manicured claws into--"

She catches Bonnie's stare. Closing her mouth, she nods, getting the message. 

"Yeah, I'll work on it."

Bonnie nods back. "You do that. But, uh... I'd suggest doing it fast, because based on your descriptions of this gorgeous demon of a babysitter, I'd say that she has just walked in and is -- oh, yep, she's coming over here. And she's smiling. And waving. And I'm still talking -- I'm gonna go!"

Caroline's eyes widen as Bonnie is already grabbing her stuff and getting out of her seat -- the only other seat at the table. She shakes her head frantically and tries to grab for her, not able to speak as Seline reaches them far too fast with those annoyingly gorgeous long legs. 

"Hi!" Seline greets, and the moment for escape has passed. 

"Hey!" Caroline says, with way too much enthusiasm and a smile that probably looks a bit crazy. Judging by the look both she and Bonnie give her, she's guessing it does. 

"You must be the new nanny," Bonnie says to Seline. "I'm Bonnie."

Seline sticks out a hand and shakes Bonnie's with a bright smile. "It's nice to meet you! Are you leaving already...?" she asks, gesturing to Bonnie's stuck gathered rather hastily into her arms and her seat now left unoccupied. 

"I have to get to Whitmore College. My class starts in a half hour, and they're not going to learn much if their professor isn't there," she explains with a laugh that Seline joins in on, to Caroline's great dismay, because as it turns out, even that sounds perfect. Soft and silky and like a god damn siren. As an afterthought, Bonnie adds, "Well, professor in training, I guess."

"Oh, did you intern with Alaric?" Seline asks.

Bonnie and Caroline share a subtly amused look at that, and Bonnie falters for a second, trying not to let her smile show too much.

"Uh, yeah -- in a way. I'm actually teaching Occult studies, so, having him around has certainly been... a big help. What with the... history side of things and all." Recognizing her own fumbling, she quickly says, "Anyway! I have to go. I'll see you later, Care. It was nice meeting you, Seline. You two have fun!"

Caroline shoots her a disbelieving glare, eyes wide as Bonnie just smirks and makes her escape out of the cafe. Fantastic. Now it's just her and--

She turns to find Seline already taking the seat across from her and asking, "Is it okay if I sit with you for a little while? If you're not busy, of course! I'd love to get to know you better, seeing as how you're trusting me with your kids."

"And their father," Caroline says tightly, then regrets it when it comes off as a jealous ex. Even the thought of someone assuming that makes her shudder. She was more just meaning because of his bad luck in the dating department, any new women in his life seems like a bad idea, especially now that Lizzie and Josie are in the picture. 

Seline actually looks surprised by the comment. She blinks and sits up straighter. Then her expression shifts, and she's clearly trying to suppress a smile -- though, not very hard, as it twitches and tugs at the corners of her mouth as she momentarily ducks her head, nodding. 

"Ah," she says, like everything makes perfect sense now. That's worrying. Caroline is really hoping she didn't go down the wrong route with this. "I get it now. I couldn't figure out why you seemed so... off with me during the interview. I was actually worried that I had done something wrong, or my resume wasn't enough."

"No." Caroline sinks in her seat with a sigh, guilt popping her with one sharp poke. "No, Seline, that's not--"

"It's okay!" Seline assures her. "I totally get it. I've watched the movies. Girl interviews for a job as a nanny, and nine times out of ten, they end up sleeping with the father. I absolutely get why you might've thought that's what I was trying to do."

Caroline shakes her head. "No, really, it's fine. It's my fault, I shouldn't have jumped to assumptions like that. You are... lovely. And perfect. For the job! For the kids -- Lizzie and Josie will adore you, I just know it. It was extremely rude of me to assume that you had any other intentions towards the job, or towards Ric."

"Well... thank you for saying that." Seline smiles at her, mouth stretching so far across her cheeks that it's kind of impossible for Caroline not to smile back. Then Seline is saying, "But I just want you to know that, I promise, I am not trying to go after Alaric, just so that you're totally reassured and don't have any concerns about that. I'm actually gay, so."

The bluntness throws Caroline. Bonnie returns in the form of a stern voice in the back of her head, giving her a good thwack for good measure as she repeats: Do not sleep with the babysitter. There is a line and it should not be crossed. But with this new information, as well as the smile that she is currently directing right at Caroline like a very obvious beam of sunshine, it's harder to see that line. 

"Oh!" Caroline says then immediately kicks herself and scrambles to correct. "I mean -- that's great! For you. Obviously, it has no impact on me. Not that I'm not -- oh god, that came off incredibly wrong. I... am so sorry."

Seline's laughing that silky laugh again. Like music, floating into Caroline's skull and filling it with clouds, soaking up all of the worries and bad things. A sort of peaceful content is washing over like a gentle shower of rain. 

"Don't be," Seline tells her. "It's fine. And cute."

Heat rises to the surface of Caroline's skin, and she flushes. She tries to laugh it off. "Uh... thank you. I try my best."

The joke has Seline laughing even more. Caroline can't help laughing, too, letting the embarrasment be washed away.

Then Seline says, "I was actually trying to impress you, not Alaric."

Maybe it's just the slight giddiness of it all lingering for a moment afterwards, but Seline gives her a lingering look before finally switching the subject, and she swears that it meant something. If that something is a toe over the line then... she'll just pretend she can't see it. Lines are easily moved. 

[oneletterwrites]

hey, i don't know if this is the kind of ship you like to write, but could you do romechu? grandpa rome and china? idk you do sort of rarepairs and if you could come up with anything, maybe like a fluffy soulmate au? that would be so great thank you!!

A Long Way Away

Sure he would have liked to see the far end of the road, but that doesn’t mean he wanted to see it by traveling four long days in a rickety carriage that set his teeth chattering. Yao is whining and he won’t stop until he can adequately set his feet on solid ground.

“I have a headache,” He says and the diplomats he’s with just roll their eyes. As annoyed as they are, they can’t tell Yao to do anything. If they did it wouldn’t matter anyway. Yao doesn’t listen to them. A spoiled prince for all it’s worth and he plays his part well.

“How much longer till we get to the market?” He asks someone and they sigh. The answer they give is half assed and not good enough but there’s not much more of answer to give. It will have to do. 

It’s later in the day when the sun is just starting to disappear do they see the tops of tents and buildings that is the established market. A large venue where anyone who’s anyone with anything worth selling goes. Yao has been dying to see it, see the shopkeeps from the tales the other merchants of his town have told him about. Now he’s finally able to.

“The shops will have closed for the day, we head for food and bed and in the morrow we can explore,” A diplomat and guide says to him. As huffy as Yao is about not seeing the tables right away he is tired of sitting on a hard wooden surface with jitters that shake him to the core.

They park their carriage outside an inn, Yao hopping off the cart with a glare challenging someone to tell him to sit back down. They enter the tall building, finding the inside more pleasant and not as covered in dirt as the outside. Yao lets his guide talk while he admires some of the paintings on the wall.

“How many rooms have you got left?” Yao overhears. His judgement passes over the tables in their uneven pegs and the rowdy crowd just tucked away behind a door. He can smell food cooking and his stomach eagerly hopes for some.

“Wonderful, thank you,” His guide says and Yao huffs once more. The inn owner calls for someone to help him with their bags and things. It’s here Yao feels something strange. Sure he knows it’s something every person has. He just never expected to tug on his finger to happen this strong.

It stings and pulls him in the direction he needs to go. He remains still instead. Not wanting to find who ever is on the end of the string. Not in this place and certainly not now.

“Wow,” He looks up at the voice, his face scrunching up in annoyance at what he sees. The man in front of him is covered in dust and scrapes and bruises. He’s staring at Yao like he’s a priceless jewel and Yao wouldn’t give him a second glance had it not been for the string tied tightly around his finger that leads right to him.

“This isn’t happening,” He says mostly to himself. The person in front of him just run a hand through their mop of curly brown hair and steps closer to him. Yao sneers and takes a step back. They don’t seem to notice.

“You’re so beautiful,” They tell him. He knows this but his heart still pounds at the sentiment. Panic begins to set in as the rest of the diplomats enter, carrying their own things since the errand boy is too distracted. They end up dropping their things once they see the string connecting the Prince to a commoner. A commoner of another town too.

“We need to send word to the king,” A few of them agree and Yao glares at them.

“Absolutely not!” He interjects, stalking over to them, vaguely aware of the person who is supposed to be his soulmate following him.

“I refuse to accept this,” He almost stomps his foot in a tantrum but the diplomats are set. They can’t deny what the string chooses and neither can Yao. He glares harshly at the errand boy and sulks far away from them.

–

“I’m so in love~” Romulus muses to any one who will listen. Any food patron and any overnight guest, no one is safe from his love struck look at a Prince from a far away land that wants nothing to do with him. He’s followed him and helped him with his bags and given him as many compliments he can think of and yet nothing he does will help him, but nothing will hinder him either.

The diplomats that give him pity looks are of no help, telling him it will be impossible to win the prince’s affections. That doesn’t deter Romulus a single bit even though it probably should. He’s been longingly hoping for the day he met his soulmate and they are so much better in person than he could ever imagine.

“Hello my love!” He greets the prince as he spies them outside. They are looking out the window of their room. He himself on a last day errand of checking the perimeter of the inn, making sure all the fences are upright and rubbish bins are closed tight. He spotted the prince and forgot all about his errands.

“How are you this fine even-” The window shutter is slammed shut on his words. He twists up his nose. Well that’s his twelfth rejection today. So he picks up a rock and throws it at the window to make it rattle. Then another. And Another. And-

“Will you stop it!” The prince shouts at him, opening the window to glare down. Romulus just smiles and drops the rock in his hand. He takes a few steps closer.

“Will you talk to me?”

“No.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to continue,” Romulus picks back up his rock and aims to throw it at the somewhat closed shutters.

“Why are you bugging me?” The prince yells down. Romulus blinks at that, looking to his hand where the string appears and lines all the way up to the window.

“Because I love you?” He says like it’s very obvious. The prince doesn’t seem amused by his words.

“You don’t know me,” They counter his statement. Romulus laughs then, throwing his head back. When he calms he spies a ladder to the side of the window. With some effort he manages to climb it and land himself just near the Prince’s window.

“That doesn’t matter to me,” He says once he’s face to face with the prince, far closer than he’s been allowed thus far. The glare he receives sends shivers down his spine.

“Knowing you or not, I want of course, but there’s magic in knowing the person for you, and I do think you’re magic,” Romulus sighs dreamily and half way expects the prince to shut his window and leave Romulus to get down with out help.

“I can not be with you,” The prince says and though it stings, Romulus brushes past that.

“It doesn’t change that I love you,” He smiles brightly and the prince just sighs, smacking a hand to their face. When they look at Romulus next, it’s softer, not as angry to know him.

“I will fight for you, and not let you go,” It’s a promise Romulus is too stubborn to believe might not work. The prince stares at him not speaking, but judging him silently. Romulus lets him.

“I refuse to be with someone of your stature,” The Prince sneers at him.

“So I will change my stature,” He quips back. The prince doesn’t think it’s as clever as he does. The windows are closed and Romulus drops back down to the dirt. He sends one more loving look up to the closed window, smiling to himself as he can barely see the prince watching him as well.

He has his work cut out for him, and he plans on working harder than ever to make himself the perfect person for his prince.

[thestrongeststars]

A Fic a Day Challenge: Day 4- Draven x Merrick

So, this is more like a song fic than anything because I was listening to 'Give Your Heart a Break' by Demi Lovato and I got a lot of Draven x Merrick feels. So there is that. Also, formatting is weird as heck because I'm posting this on mobile and nothing really works like a dream on the app)

Also, I'm going to go ahead and tag @sassysnowperson even though I'm not sure how they feel on song fics, they gave me helpful tips on how to do this fic a day challenge and also put me into this rarepair hell, or drag me further down it.

Tomorrow's couple will be stormpilot (Finn x Poe)

Enjoy!

_______________________________________________

'The day I first met you

You told me you never fall in love'

It hadn't been explicitly stated, but Merrick, who has been a fairly good judge of character, could tell that Draven wasn't a man whose dreams had been of marriage and a family. Of course, that hadn't stopped twenty-five year old Merrick from flirting then, and, being a pilot to his core, it didn't stop him now.

'But now that I get you,

I know fear is what it really was'

Of all the brave men and women that Merrick knew, Draven was high up there. He was able to call the shots, accept the death toll, explain and defend his choices if necessary. Yet, his fear of love made him a) mysterious and b) just a little bit softer and weaker.

'Now here we are

So close. yet so far'

That was the thing, Merrick thinks as he stands in front of Draven's closed door. Their relationship was a 'two-steps forward, one-step backward' kind of dea. A few days ago he had slept and had had a passionate night with Draven and now here he was, being shut out again.

'Haven't I passed the test?

When will you realize, baby, I'm not like the rest?'

One time, when they were young and drunk, Draven opened up. He didn't have parents, well, not really, since the age of six because they had ditched him and no one had really liked or loved him since. Merrick said that that was crazy and kissed him and called him 'Dav' and had taken him to bed.

But he didn't stop at that. He stayed with him for nearly twenty years after that. He had followed orders, argued with superiors, with Draven. he had put op with the war, not just because it was the right thing to do, but because he loved Davits Draven and wouldn't let him down where other had.

'The world is ours if we want it

We can take it, if you just take my hand'

They were trying to put together a broken galaxy to make it better. Draven viewed it as making wrongs right, correcting injustices, and avenging shed blood. Merrick saw it as getting rid of persecution, helping the needy, and freeing those enslaved one way or another.

Their vision was one and the same though.

'When your lips are on my lips

Then our hearts beat as one'

During the times they got splendidly along, with their words being a softer tone and 'General' turning into 'Dav', were the moments Merrick loved the most. It got him through hard times and long nights and those anxious moments in his x-wing when he was in hyperspace going to a battle he knew he might not survive.

'But you slip out of my fingertips

Everytime you run'

But then Draven would hide away. It wasn't anybody's fault, that was known, but it was in his programming, in his nature. It was the only thing compatible with his 'I'm the one who has to do every bad deed, make hard choices, hold this rebellion together, and wear all this blood' vibe.

'Don't wanna break your hear

I wanna give your heart a break'

It had taken a long time to convince Draven that he wasn't going to break his heart intentionally, arguments and fights were expected. It had confused him so much that Merrick almost cried.

'I know you're scared it's wrong

Like you might make a mistake'

Draven wasn't afraid to admit mistakes and errors, though he was very cautious about such things to the point that it was rare. When it came to loving someone and being loved, Draven he didn't leave it up to choice or to the Force. He simply just remain afraid.

'There's just one life ot live

And there's no time to wait, to waste,

So let me give your heart a break'

Merrick had once tried to use the argument that they were only going to live once and that he didn't want one of his regrets being not with Draven to the fullest extent possible. He, Draven, had made a pained face, because he couldn't, he just couldn't.

'Cause you've been hurt before

I can see it in your eyes

You can try to smile it away

Somethings you can't disguise'

Draven hid his pain, his losses, his fears beneath his apathy and cold demeanor, to the point where most couldn't see them at all.

But not Merrick. When Merrick looked into his blue eyes, he could see it all. And when Merrick looked at Davits Draven as a whole, he saw neither the cold, ruthless intelligence General or the broken boy that didn't have parents. He saw a three dimensional figure, full of regret, full of hurt, but definitely still human.

And Merrick loved him more for it.