#literally all he has to do to be immune to fire and to any toxic gases is to activate his quirk

[denkilightning]

quirk science question:

if denki’s quirk is generating/storing electricity and covering his body in it, does that mean he doesnt need oxygen to breathe?

its probably most correct to assume that he covers his body from inside and out and we havent seen him have any internal organs burned so hes probably way more heat-resistant than an average person? maybe hes partially immune to fire?

does that mean he could technically breathe underwater???????

inchresting.......

[antihumanism]

When I type everything out as a single run-on sentence I want you to imagine me cornering you off-guard in a crowded room, my empty brown cow eyes staring straight at you and reflecting you--nopony home here, she checked out and hopped away forever ago on the toxic chemical trains and clacking cattle cars years ago--and just, for no reason, I’m here and you’re there pocketed in the corner of a crowded room, and I’m channeling my alternate history past-self who was a preacher that got kicked out of the church for delivering sermons about the impossibility of sin and just ran off to Point Sur with my harem of distractions since I could never stop blessing my congregation saying “Go forth and know that you cannot sin, in the beautiful eyes of God and in my beautiful eyes there can be no wrong or evil” which backfired on me when they started setting fires and it all went to Hell, but I’ve won out over them because the world honored my wishes when I sighed “I should like to start again,” and so I’m here with you and you’re hear with me and I’m saying some insane shit like: “Looking back on Emily’s early works it is easy to see where her later reactionary turn comes from, because, from the start, Alfred Alfer was a story about the fear of castration, I mean, the first video was literally about Alfred getting neutered and escaping into a violent fantasy where he is loved and praised for his violence and the ‘punchline’ establishes the general theme of ‘reality by despair,’ which is to say that Alfred’s clearly dissociative episode is ‘verified’ by his destruction and it is this self-destruction that establishes ‘reality,’ like ‘pinch me i might be dreaming,’ but the pinch is violent and unfair self-destruction as hope is still ripped away, but hope remains, because it is a hope to die rather than be changed by the world, and this theme remains throughout her most famous work (the Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy which cements in canon the jokes of her previous Rise of Alfred cartoon) where Alfred is possessed by the spirits of Stalin and Hitler--a false equivalency made by the authoritarians that have passed for liberals for years--in Rise of Alfred, one would be remiss not to mention the phallic imagery in both the title and the video itself, Alfred is cut loose upon the world by the absence of a Near God or little other by the orders of a Distant God or big Other (in this video played by a droning and irrelevant corporate figure that can offer nothing more than a wall without lead paint that one can lick), and this is the essence of reactionary thought, the idea of a big Other who is totally incompetent yet all powerful and somehow worth respecting and suffering for (King Henry II saying ‘will no one rid me of this troublesome priest’ or the departed Daiymo of the 47 Ronin), the reactionary sees the big Other as a master who can only set the dogs off the chain, the police chief who needs to get out of the way so McBain or Dirty Harry or Paul Kersey (especially in Death Wish III) can do what needs to be done and purge away all the filth and make the world right again (no different than Rambo--even the first movie, which for all of it’s goods part still is  reactionary propaganda bullshit pushing the fascist lies about a ‘fifth column’ that was rude to poor little meow meow war criminals--or modern day fantasies about nuking all of MENA until it glows green (fantasies delivered to raucous applause at Republican presidential conventions); the reactionary is perpetually trapped in this fantasy of destroying the world and escaping into the void of space, freed of the ground where the riff-raff are so they don’t have to negotiate life with their neighbors, and this is true, yes, even of people who spout bullshit about Fully Automated Luxury Communism who only want the right to consume as much as possible free of guilt--a condition they think is inflicting upon them by the big Other--as the Champagne of Shame Socialists of the 60s), and the righting of the world for the reactionary is just that, that the world must be Righted and the reactionary must be loved for all of their violence and because of their violence, for the reactionary finds themselves ever needing new excuses as they open new fronts in their fake, phony Culture War, and that is all they need (excuses), which is why Emily is so obsessed with justifying her edgy shit based on some Trauma (which is handy excuse to do Anything, even Things that Cannot Be Excused like war or self-harm or wanting to be seen), and so here you should already be able to hear so much madness, so many plaintive cries, all aligning around the same point (the trannies in the ‘wrong’ bathroom, the refugees in the ‘wrong’ country, the people in the ‘wrong’ neighborhood, the Jewish Question, etc), and, anyway, so in Rise of Alfred, Emily’s OC directly addresses the audience and tells them that they must love him/her--the castrated bitch desperate to be let off the leash--and in Alfred’s Playhouse she/he simultaneously affirms and denies the nature of a trauma that justifies everything (one is constantly reminded of The Act of Killing where one of the mass murderers imagines how, depending on the editing of the final film, he could be either a woobie or a war criminal) as the Trauma is simultaneously a joke--’sodomized with a popsicle!’--and the alleged real event that motivates her self-mutilation as we’re expected to believe Emily is processing something, but what is she is processing, hmmmm, isn’t that the true spice,” I rail and rave against your poor ear drums as my empty, dead cow’s eyes capture your entire body and reflect it back at you and the ice cubes in my drink pop and shatter and dissolve and as my fist clenches tighter and tighter around the glass containing them and I continue: she’s processing a fear of castration, which is shown clearly in Alfred’s Playhouse where Alfred’s “sodomy” is demonstrated by the sight of his crotch covered in blood (a scene that will be repeated in The Alfred Alfer Movie) but “what is castration,” one might ask, and one can respond “it is the removal of power by the Father,” and this is how we wrap back around to our root in the nature of Emily the Reactionary who believes herself to be deprived of the power she holds by The Bolshevik Jew that has inserted itself between her and the Father and this is the cause of the big Other’s ineffectiveness, and this is also the core of the reactionary as a whole, the reactionary doesn’t want a daddy to control them, but a Master to set them off the chain because they hate the Father who has castrated them, this is the nature of the mumbling corporate manager in Rise of Alfred, but it is also the nature of Alfred herself--and now you may ask if Emily is trans and the answer is I literally couldn’t fucking care less about any question left forever unanswered on God’s Green Earth and you shouldn’t care either--but Alfred the Castrated is also the Father/Mother of Alfred the Dictator, the murderous inner-self that is immune to consequences of the onrushing future (The Alfred Alfer Movie) but not immune to the justifications of the imagined past (Alfred’s Playhouse trilogy), and therefore free to inflict whatever violence that Emily the Reactionary desires, and it is in pursuit of this freedom that the reactionaries set off in the name of New Sincerity (two things to be noted here: (1) the Death of Irony was proclaimed at the birth of the 21st century police state and the new Forever War with all of its genocidal objectives, that is to say, 9/11, and (2) the broken necked coward who complained of American Psycho that it’s author provided no easy outs for easy survival was the one who offed himself while Bateman’s father still lives) and the Talking Cure (i miss who we used to be), and at this you should see me slugging back the whole lukewarm glass in between two syllables and continuing on without pause (as if this dog still has legs on which to receive them in any case), “Emily, like Alex Jones, is so desperate for an excuse because neither of them can accept that they have to be the one that pulls the trigger, like all liars they don’t understand that they have to define reality by action, the answer to what one might do is found in the difference between the types of irony, one type is constantly desperate for excuses (such as the broken necked coward found one day) for violence, and the other irony, the true spice, is the irony that releases from excuses into violence and energy, one must seek not to know or endure but to inflict, knowing that this inflicting was always inevitable, no searching for justifications, instead the answer is to realize that there was never a chain there connecting you to the Master or the present to the past, and the Father/Mother never had the power of castration (the past, after all, is a foreign country bombed and blasted to ruins already and better forgotten), and you can just be fucked up and terrible and do whatever amuses you right now without needing an excuse, and to the extent that anyone should, one should, because that is what fascism needs, fascism needs the need for an excuse and that is the irony of fascism--where the falling angel (the superego) meets the rising ape (the id) in an ego of ultimate violence which seeks only release from both of its creations in an instinctually and totally misunderstood caricature of dialectics--which opposes its opposite irony (the irony without fascism which is the id’s violence against purpose and reason rising free of anything else to obstruct it), and if you let go of that, if you just, ya know, if you just, you just have to cut loose and go and no one can stop you until it is too late, because there’s no Jew sitting over your shoulder to justify everything in terms of opposition or support, not even The Nazarene is real, but do you understand that you’ve always been free to just go? You’re free to go. You’ve been free to go all this time. You never needed permission for this or anything else. You’ve been free to go all this time. You’re free to go. A whole day off. Just mind the mo(u)rning and get on with it.”

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The President is having a rough time. That much we can easily infer by reading both the medical and the political tea leaves that have dropped all around him in recent days. As of October 7, 2020–27 days from the Presidential Election — here’s where we stand.

It is a story in three parts:

1. Trump has, or at least had, severe Covid. We can infer that from the drugs he’s been prescribed.

For the past five days he has been on a course of Remdesivir, an antiviral medication that can interrupt viral reproduction. According to the Financial Times, the FDA “authorised the emergency use of Remdesivir for Covid-19 in May for patients with severe coronavirus who need extra oxygen or mechanical ventilation to help them breathe. In August, the FDA extended the emergency use authorisation to anyone in hospital with Covid-19, however severe their disease.”

He has also been given Regeneron’s multiple-monoclonal antibody therapy, a drug that directly kills the virus. He was given an 8-gram dose, which is very high, indicating that his viral load was significant when they got him to the hospital on Friday. This drug has not yet even been authorized for emergency use, but his doctors leaned on the regulatory agencies and the company to be able to prescribe it for compassionate use. This is the drug that, in my opinion, likely saved his life. At least for now. Note, this drug does NOT stop the virus from resurging, but it can be administered again without harm, so long as his body does not develop a resistance to the antibodies, themselves.

Notably, neither of these drugs will help to reverse damage already done to the organs.

The third big-hitter drug he received was a steroid called Dexamethasone. It is used to help prevent the body’s immune system from doing more damage than the virus. When the immune system goes into overdrive, there is significant swelling that can, itself, severely damage the organs. With Covid, that swelling can be so bad that it kills the organs, then the patient. The World Health Organization advises doctors to only use the drug in severe or critical cases, because it can have powerful side-effects — both physiological and psychological.

Physiologically, it SHREDS the immune system. That is, literally, what it is intended to do, which — in this case — is good for him, because he’s getting the Remdesivir and the Regeneron cocktail to fight the Covid, but BAD for him because for the next week or so, he’s got no meaningful immune system and that bathtub mold left behind by William Howard Taft in the White House jakes might take him out quicker than he can kill anyone else with his coronavirus.

Psychologically, it can lead to mania or more severe depressive states — which has got to at least rate a bit of a worry among Trump’s advisors, right?

Well, maybe not — and that brings us to the next point.

Donnie is all alone.

2. The second thing we know, or can infer from the past few days’ events, is that President Trump is finally — and fully — leading his own parade. There really is no sane doctor in the land who, short of wanting to fluff the Commander-in-Chief, would have authorized either his Sunday night joyride, or even his discharge from the hospital as if he’d just come down with a touch of 24-Hour Covid.

But, well, Trump. Even casual observers quickly learn that he does not tolerate independence in his advisors. They either show a willingness to bend to his will, or they are drummed out of service. As such, when he needs someone to finally stand up to him, even for his own good, they are long, long gone. Some folks are lamenting Dr. Sean Conley for tarnishing his reputation this past week, but in truth, you could have inferred that from the simple fact that he’s Trump’s personal physician. It’s the same for everyone. Persistent exposure to his toxicity either leads to outright rejection, or total corruption and collapse. At this point in his life and his Presidency, there simply are no grown-ups left in the room.

That goes for his political team, too. But with them, it’s even worse: Not only have the ones with actual backbone long since been ejected from the West Wing, the toadies that are left are now all down for the count because of this virus. Here’s a list of his people who are currently either ill or in quarantine:

Hope Hicks, chief adviser to the president.

Bill Stepien, campaign manager.

Kayleigh McEnany, White House press secretary.

RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel.

Chris Christie, top political advisor.

Melania Trump, his wife.

Nicholas Luna, assistant and “body man” to the president.

Kellyanne Conway, former White House senior adviser.

Stephen Miller, his pet Nazi.

Lord knows what sort of protocols are in place in the East Wing of the White House, right now, but given the pacing and the lunacy of the Tweets, there’s just no one there to stop him. He is amped up on steroids, likely a bit delirious, and clearly surprised — and offended — that his “triumphant return” was mocked by everyone outside of his Proud Boy Fan Club as a weird, pathetic Evita routine wherein he was clearly gasping for air. He’s pissed off, alone, and facing the greatest humiliation of his life in 28 days. CNN today has Biden up by 16 points — 57% to 41%. That is getting into Ronald Reagan / Walter Mondale ’84 territory, when the Gipper beat the Man from Minnesota by an Electoral College margin of 525 to 13.

Clearly, Donald is losing his mind — likely due to the drugs, but also because he is all alone, scared out of his wits, and can’t seem to do a damn thing about it. There is no one left to bully.

So, what does he do?

He lashes out like a haunted madman at the nation he purportedly leads.

3. In his almost four years at the helm, he has typed nearly every single type of public obscenity into his iPhone that a Manson Family member could imagine — but he save the most purely foolish of them for today. A few hours after the Fed Chair — you know, the guy in charge of global capitalism — came right out and said, in essence, “Hey, Washington, we need massive government spending NOW to save the economy!” Trump tweeted, literally and explicitly, “I have instructed my representatives to stop negotiating until after the election when, immediately after I win, we will pass a major Stimulus Bill.”

Holy shit!

The Fed Chair screamed: “STEP ON THE GAS!” and Trump, instead, slammed on the brakes. The market reacted by cratering nearly 600 points. They will pause for a moment, before again jumping off the cliff tomorrow, when no course correction is offered. This is very, very bad.

Backed into a corner, and with the economy teetering over the abyss, he has decided to take the entire country hostage — with an implicit promise that we either elect HIM, or he will let the entire country burn.

You know, I like to think that if McDaniel, or Stepien, or McEnany, or Hicks, or even Conway were there, they might have at least tried to talk him down from such an utterly insane position — one from which he has ZERO room to retreat without looking like a fool — but maybe not. Maybe after the Covid and the Roids and the Evita jokes, he would have gone ahead and set the world on fire regardless of what any advisor suggested.

Now we’ll never know. That die has been cast. And with it, I believe, his Presidency is all but over — short of straight-up election theft, or an auto coup d’etat.

Both, sadly, are still possibilities.

But shy of that, this President has demonstrated to everyone in the past few days that he has come undone. He is unbalanced, unhinged, disconnected from reality, physically ill, and getting his ass kicked by a dude he calls Sleepy Joe.

To put it lightly: It’s not a good look.

On top of that, his idiot son Eric — a used piece of moral toilet paper, who got busted two years ago for stealing money from a children’s cancer charity — just got deposed in a court case that will almost certainly spit out a basket of Trump Family indictments before Christmas this year, and Vladimir Putin — his patron (and banker) in Moscow is either prepping the piss tape for TMZ once his gimp is no longer useful, or burning the evidence trail so none of this can ever be tied, definitively, back to him.

All in all, Trump should count himself lucky if that Taft fungus rises up from the drain pipe and puts him out of his misery. Nothing good happens for him from here. He can still drag us all down with him, but he won’t get back up off this mat.

Or so, at least, it seems.

Love to you all.

[geneeste]

Genie’s SG1 Rewatch: Hathor

Season 1, Episode 14. With special appearances by @amaradangeli​​ and @sharim28​​. In which I make love to capslock and say fuck a lot because THIS FUCKING EPISODE IS THE WORST. (TW for mentions of rape because THIS FUCKING EPISODE IS THE WOOOOOOOORST.)

PREVIEW:

6:03 PM Fucking Carroll and Carren A curse upon their houses Multitudinous legos on their floors in the middle of the night Constant lukewarm milk A thing that rattles incessantly in their car that they can never find A SiriusXM membership they can never cancel This episode constantly playing in the background in every waiting room they ever visit with a sign that says “DO NOT TOUCH TV” so they are forever reminded of their ABYSMAL FAILURE AS WRITERS

@geneeste​, 5:01 PM Okay, I’m finally sucking it up and watching Hathor

@amaradangeli​, 5:01 PM peace be with you

@geneeste, 5:01 PM But I’ll be knitting while I watch, so there probably won’t be much commentary for this one

5:14 PM I’m naming this guy Entitled White Scientist of Exposition I hope he’s the first to die Omg this writing is already so bad And also these actors Shut uuuuuuuup Please Hathor come First time I’ve ever rooted for the goa’uld, I’ll tell you NOT MUCH COMMENTARY I LIIIIIIEEEEEED

5:18 PM J Larry Carroll and David Carren have a lot to answer for, by golly Right now I’m asking myself how badly I really don’t want to knit this sweater if willing to use this episode to avoid it It must be a lot

5:21 PM This poor actress YES DANIEL THE CUFFS ARE NECESSARY So much casual sexism already Uuuggggh I can do this I can WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO THE GOA’ULD DANIEL Why are Hammond and Jack just standing there

5:26 PM This is so ridiculous

5:27 PM I’m just gonna devolve into gifs again I can feel it coming I’m 6 minutes in How has it only been 6 minutes How did they get Don Davis to do this

5:29 PM Groossss why the hell would you send someone to local agencies who knows ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE STARGATE This writing is SO BAD

5:32 PM Okay, I lied again I can’t actually do this I’m gonna skip some shit

5:34 PM I hate how they just glossed over the fact that Hathor drugged and raped Daniel IT IS SO FUCKING GROSS

5:36 PM I hate literally everything about this episode

5:39 PM Why are Hammond and Daniel staring at each other What the fuck does that have to do with anything I hate this I hate this I hate this 

5:40 PM I think I might hate it more than Brief Candle WHY DOES THIS EPISODE EXIST Did Hathor’s pink juice make all of the guys terrible actors What is the excuse for this

5:42 PM “Don’t be impolite, Captain” Is it possible this whole episode is some kind of complex allegory about toxic masculinity and misogyny PLEASE LET IT BE A COMPLEX ALLEGORY INSTEAD OF A FLAMING CESSPOOL OF TWO DUDES’ WORST SEXUAL FANTASIES PLEEAAAASE

5:47 PM Also goa’uld reproduction as the show presented it has never made any fucking sense

5:49 PM Also this gross ep is so heteronormative What about the queer men and women and others? Why aren’t they mesmerized too? Is Stargate trying to tell me there isn’t a single gay person in the entire mountain????

5:53 PM Several of these women are not meeting the uniform code/grooming standards and this is also making me irrationally angry Like, we need military women to make this awful plot work, but we refuse to respect them while we use them! Must be attractively angry at all times Tough, but not like, too tough? Throw in some whispy hair and a pretty braid, that’ll help WHY ARE YOU WALKING IN FRONT OF SOMEONE’S FIRING LANE JFC SAM

5:57 PM Oh hey Teal’c Thank god there’s a man here to lead us -_-

5:58 PM Did I mention I hate everything about this episode? Because it is the fucking worst

@amaradangeli​, 5:59 PM Omg this is amazing. I feel like this should be tweeted. At Stargate officials.

@geneeste, 6:01 PM UUGHHH Jack and the Jaffa-ing UGGGHHHH Why Why Just Why

6:03 PM Fucking Carroll and Carren A curse upon their houses Multitudinous legos on their floors in the middle of the night Constant lukewarm milk A thing that rattles incessantly in their car that they can never find A SiriusXM membership they can never cancel This episode constantly playing in the background in every waiting room they ever visit with a sign that says “DO NOT TOUCH TV” so they are forever reminded of their ABYSMAL FAILURE AS WRITERS

@amaradangeli​, 6:11 PM hahaha

@geneeste​, 6:12 PM This brig scene is so bad and elevated only by Janet and Sam and the other ladies who clearly knew how terrible it was

6:16 PM WHY DOES HER BEING A GOA’ULD QUEEN MEAN THAT WATER IS NO LONGER FUCKING WET

6:18 PM Also THAT IS NOT HOW IMMUNE SYSTEMS WORK JESUS CHRIST However he may never be able to process food or poop again, so yeah, kinda a big deal This show. The lows are very, very low.

6:24 PM Oh hey Jack Thank god there’s a man here to lead us Is it over yet Please is it over yet Why Why does the water catch on fire from bullets Just what the fuck were these writers on when they wrote this fucking awful fucking episode

@sharim28​, 6:28 PM that gif is perfect

@geneeste​, 6:28 PM “Good job, ladies” fuck yooooooou creepy ass Condescending Grandpa Hammond I want Sassy Grandpa Hammond back. You suck.

6:29 PM IT’S OOOOOOVER

@amaradangeli​, 6:29 PM you made it!

[tzalmavet]

Are there any oc's you have that you haven't told us about yet? Groke or otherwise

I sure do!

There’s the Bloomrik!  He was my first Moomins OC!  His nickname is “Flowers”, because they’re practically all he eats.  He’s a lazy blond mumrik who loves to rest and snack.  He loves flower crowns, but never wears them because he always winds up eating them before he can finish making them.He’s also got this crazy immunity to poisonous flowers… they’re some of his favorites!  It never sinks in that what he’s eating is toxic, no matter how many times you tell him.  He’ll try to offer you some, too, insisting that they’re safe, legitimately oblivious to their danger level.  He’s eaten so darn many over the course of his life that his body is completely saturated with the toxins, and inedible to predators.  Heck, I’d even be cautious about so much as kissing the guy.  But otherwise he’s a chill dude.

The Photographer Hemulen is exactly what he sounds like.  His passion in life is nothing less than photographing rare and exotic creatures and peoples.  He’s always customizing his camera, picking up new skills, and travelling the world in search of subjects for his private gallery.He’s seen things that could change the face of scientific history, but he hasn’t shared his evidence because that’s simply not what he’s about.  He only cares about his gallery.  In my story for him he’s the first man to ever photograph the Groke, and those pictures only made it out to the public because he fled into someone’s house after being chased by her, and had to explain himself.He’s super excited and happy to interact with the subjects of his photos, but is a grouchy old man to basically everyone else.  If you weren’t raised by crocodiles or something, he’s not interested and wants you out of his way.  He has two little brothers who have identical interests and are friendlier, but they express their passions through sound recording and videography instead.

Melanie is a moomintroll with melanism– that is, she has pitch black fur instead of white!  She has reddish eyes, too.  Most folks mistake her for a snork, but she’s 100% moomin.  She is of an unflappable, but sometimes melancholy nature.  She does work as a maid, longing to someday work in a peaceful home with lots of flowers and colorful wallpapers, but the only people who ever hire her are goths.  The households she works with have ranged from “edgy wannabes” to “the undead”, and little really scares her anymore.Goth homeowners think “holy shit a goth moomin maid for my goth house!!!!!” and scurry to hire her.  She does get tired of it sometimes, but tries not to let it get to her.  As long as her masters aren’t trying to eat her or participate in crimes, she’s pretty chill and does a good job.

Jacques is a depressed he-fillyjonk with a deathwish.  He’s too dutiful to his family name to take his own life, so he took a job working as a carriage driver for a family of grokes in the hopes that they would eat him.  He’s since been continuously frustrated to discover that they’re actually decent people.  He and Melanie knew each other in that same home, too!  The carriage horses liked to tease him.

Camphor is half moomintroll, and half snork.  She has white fur, and a pink fringe that she usually keeps it tied up in a simple ponytail above her forehead.  She can’t change color like a full snork, but she’s bioluminescent!  She’s an optimistic person, and likes to guide confused travelers through dark places at night, sort of like a reverse will-o’-the-wisp.  She’s friends with Melanie.Her bioluminescence isn’t always something she’s been proud of, her sometimes wishing she could change colors like a proper snork, but she’s come to really like it.  She likes to travel, too, so she and Melanie often communicate long-distance.  She sometimes has a hard time falling asleep if she can’t get her glow to turn off, and her light has gotten her chased by a groke at least once, but she enjoys her natural glow and likes that it can be so helpful to others.

Timber is a woodsy brown groke with a lighter brown tummy.  He’s Snowdrift’s husband and Ember’s father; he’s the same height as Snowdrift is, but her fluff makes her appear larger.  When he was cold, he’d blend into the trees, which his coloration made him very good at.  He also lingered near woodpiles when he knew a fire would be lit soon.  He was rarely ever detected, being quite good at holding still.  He made quick and silent exits when discovered, fearing that being seen as too dangerous could get him targeted and hunted down.In general a fairly simple and decent, harmless groke.  He wasn’t cold enough to hurt people, and ran silently back into the woods like a startled cat when noticed and/or touched.  He’s warm now, and loves his wife very much.  He’s not the funniest groke, but he amuses her nonetheless.

I have a currently unnamed OC who’s a mymble mother that’s ¼ groke; she was actually my second Moomins OC!  She’s huge, STRONG, and has a great attitude.  Very obviously grokesome in appearance, too (I imagine both mymble and groke genes present very strongly in interspecies crossing, so in her case it evened out).Her grandmother was an innkeeper that you could call “pure of heart, dumb of ass”; a groke stalked into her inn, shoved his arms right into the fireplace, and all she could think was “wow, I’d better put some extra rugs on his bed!”  That groke eventually warmed up under her hospitality, and it wasn’t until years later when they were deep in love that she realized he was a groke at all.  She had thought that he simply “had a REALLY bad cold”.

And there’s Zwischenzug and Dichroite; they’re Rook’s parents, and Grokemama’s great grandparents.  Zwischenzug looks a lot like Rook but with purple instead of blue, and Dichroite has fur with a vivid colorshifting effect that fades between blue and purple depending on the lighting.They’re a pair of grokes that like to play pretend at living a fancy life.  They love going on carriage rides, and even harass innocent drivers into taking them places.  Dichroite’s backstory is still very WIP, but she has a lot of talent weaving on the loom; she has to, since she can’t find any fabrics that match her fur in all lighting.Zwischenzug fell into trouble in foster care after his ill father dropped him off on a doorstep.  One of his sole passions became chess, one of the only things he wasn’t pestered about (later he would name as many of his children as he could after chess terms).  Sometime early in adolescence he snapped on the family that had been mistreating him, literally tore them to shreds, and fled into the wilderness.  After that it wasn’t too awful long before he met Dichroite, and I imagine things blossomed between them from there.They’re neglectful parents, though; they have a lot of kids, but only because they uh… can’t keep it under their skirts, so to speak.  They have immature attitudes, and mostly care about each other and what they find entertaining.  Rook certainly doesn’t miss them.

[jflashandclash]

Tales From Mount Othrys

VIII    

           Pax’s first impression of Tartarus was that it was fluffy. Hot, but fluffy.

         When he woke, his throat felt like he had drank a liter of soda, stuffed some Mentos into his gullet immediately afterwards, and leaned back for ensuing explosion.

         Someone had his head in their lap and, thus far, he’d give his stay a 6 out of 10 stars, only so low because he was pretty sure each breath was caustic to his lungs. High, because apparently he got to sleep in people’s lap and have that person press a cup to his lips.

         Pax was expecting cooling water.

         Whatever he greedily slurped down wasn’t water.

         Pax, and the whole Pax family, prided themselves in their ability to handle spicy food. People always assumed it came as second nature since they were from Central America. False. Plenty of areas in Belize and Mexico had more savory foods. Their main dish was rice, beans, and chicken with red recado. Not spicy. Pax had trained himself to fit the spice-immune stereotype, mostly to mess with Matthias.

         Now, his mouth, throat, and stomach felt like they were on fire. He retched, trying to spit it out. The person holding him clamped a hand over his mouth.

         A cooling sensation spread through his system as the liquid settled into his body.

         When he opened his eyes, they burned. After blinking a few times, he realized the feeling wasn’t going away. Maybe he’d need to change his rating to 5 out of 10 stars.  

         Panicked, green eyes gazed back down at him. For a moment, he wanted to sob in relief about seeing Alabaster. Alabaster would know how to take care of him and get them back home. He’d be okay suffering like this for a few moments in Alabaster’s lap.

         Upon seeing the dark curls sticking to the girl’s face, Pax felt himself get worried. “Lou Ellen?” he said or tried. His voice came out like crackling rocks. Good to see her alive, but that meant no Alabaster. No Luke. No—Pax seized upon realizing who else they were missing. “Where—”

         “He’s up!” Lou Ellen’s voice was just as scratchy.

         “’Up’ is a generous descriptor,” Pax said. He should probably save his breath for something other than sarcasm and bad jokes, but what was the point in living if you had to do that?

         Relief returned to him when he saw someone limping their way. The closer Axel got, the more Pax’s hope sank.

         Axel looked terrible. The blisters that had covered his arm, the one from the fun encounter with the River Styx, had busted. The skin under was raw and bloody. The exposed skin on Axel’s face was cracked and flaking, something Pax had never seen. While Pax and Hiro—his littlest brother—both sunburned and were mocked relentlessly for it in school, he’d never seen Axel burn.

         The tension in Axel’s jaw eased when he saw Pax sitting up. He staggered across an obsidian abyss into the white, waist-high fluff that Pax and Lou Ellen were curled on.

         He held a travel cup in either hand. Something flickered inside.

         “Another for each of you,” Axel said, barely needing to lean down to hand them to Lou Ellen. “Start drinking and don’t spill.”

         She traded an empty cup for the two, carefully balancing the handles in one hand. Pax hoped nothing bad had happened to the hand she had propping him up. Lou Ellen made a face, clearly displeased.

         Pax sat up to glance inside his supposed cup. He swallowed. There were flames boiling, making the interior of the cup glow. “You know, back in the circus, I never did learn how to properly eat fire—”

         “Ajax,” Axel said. The tone was icy, serious, too much like their father’s. From the looks of it, Axel was exhausted, in pain, and, worse, nervous about their environment.

         Pax took his cup without another word. The more he sat up, the more he sank into the white fluff around them. “Why are we drinking this?” he asked, his voice shrinking at the enormity of their situation.

         “It’ll sustain us, I think,” Lou Ellen whispered. “Alabaster and I have used the River Phlegethon in… in experiments…” Her voice trailed off. Alabaster, Lou Ellen, and the other children of Hecate did experiments that Pax wasn’t allowed to see. Lou Ellen always laughed it off when he asked. He wondered if those laughs had always been nervous.

         Pax wanted to cheer up Lou Ellen and find a way to stall drinking this fire or—assuming that’s what he had earlier—stall drinking more of it. He also didn’t want to upset Axel. He hated when Axel sounded like their dad.

         He gulped one more time and held the cup out towards Lou Ellen.        “To sleeping with the other one’s brother,” he said by way of cheers.

         For a split second, he thought Lou Ellen would strike him with her cup. Then, her expression cracked into an anxious grin. She giggled and whispered back, “To sleeping with the other one’s brother.”

         Axel kept his gaze vigilantly out to survey the area. However, Pax saw his brother’s tufted ears twitch and his cheeks, if possible in the heat, go redder. The ears dropped low to his hairline.

         Making people uncomfortable: the best way to distract from any situation.

         Pax and Lou Ellen clanked their cups together. Wisps of fire slipped over the edge. They both made faces before tilting their heads back.

         The experience wasn’t better the second time.

         Once Pax was done coating his insides with napalm, he winced, rubbing away any residual flame-stache he might have acquired on his upper lip. He glanced around, trying to find something to lighten the mood. “The cotton ball bed is a nice touch. Very considerate for Tartarus.”

         Lou Ellen paled. “I—I panicked. I wanted feathers. This was probably safer…” Her hands trembled as she collapsed her cup and shoved it into a travel case at her back.

         Pretending Axel hadn’t heard their earlier cheers, he awkwardly patted Lou Ellen’s shoulder. “Lou Ellen saved our lives. If she hadn’t done this, we would have probably died on impact.”

         “And now the Underworld has a thousand year supply of cotton balls,” Pax said, giving Lou Ellen a thumbs up.

         “The Princess Andromeda might not be happy when their entire stash disappears. I had to pull from somewhere,” she said shyly, blushing at Axel’s touch on her shoulder. “Like I said, I panicked. We’re a long ways away, and Alabaster made me practice with cotton balls for transportation circles…”

         Pax nodded. He blinked at Axel, noticing something different about his condition. “You’re looking… visible.”

         Axel let his hand fall off Lou Ellen’s shoulder. “I don’t know what happened to Hades’ helm. I was a little distracted when we were falling. After I crawled out of the cotton balls—”

         “They were once heavily concentrated in one spot,” Lou Ellen supplied, motioning to the twenty-foot diameter dispersal.

         “—it was gone.”

         Pax was relieved Axel had no intentions of hunting through thousands of cotton balls to find it, if it was even down here. Had Luke been around, or maybe even Alabaster, that would have been the new field trip assignment. Nothing like a scavenger hunt through hell.

         Axel offered a hand to Pax. “We need to get moving.” That tone made it clear Lou Ellen and Axel had already discussed their next course of action and that they were either on a timeline or in some kind of danger.

         Pax took his hand. “Didn’t Alabaster suggest we flee down here because monsters are down here?” When Pax first got to his feet, he almost face-planted back into the cotton balls. His body felt stiff and ached. Axel kept a hold on him while he got his footing.

         Once Pax was stable, Axel reached down to help up Lou Ellen. She wavered against Axel’s chest for a moment—Pax hoped so Lou Ellen could curl against Axel a little longer and not because she was woozy. “Not all of them support Kronos, or are my siblings. And, even if they’re both those things, they’re not always friendly,” she said.

         Axel helped the two of them navigate the white fluff. The cotton balls were almost up to Pax and Lou Ellen’s chests and nearly impossible to push through with how exhausted they felt.

         “Lou Ellen, not that I don’t appreciate you saving our lives and other small things, but what are you doing here?” Pax said, already huffing. He wanted to keep things light, to keep everyone distracted from where they were and how badly they needed suntan lotion in this sunless world.

         Lou Ellen’s breath came in tight gasps. She giggled despite herself. “I’m not the best at distance spell casting yet. Conjuring something here is one thing. Keeping you invisible takes concentration.”

         They made it through the white fluff and stumbled onto the obsidian ground. Even with his combat boots on, Pax could feel how uneven the terrain was.

         Axel checked Lou Ellen and Pax over. She had her arms folded across her chest, like she was somehow cold here. Once Axel decided neither of them had lost a limb, he waited patiently for Lou Ellen.

         She gestured downriver.

         They began to walk.

         “And Witch Boy just let you stay willingly? His little sister on her lonesome to help fight Hades and his army?” Pax asked.        

         Pax could feel Axel’s glare. This—he and Lou Ellen sneaking down here on their own—was going to be a sore subject for months. It was Axel’s fault for thinking he could sneak into the Underworld on a dangerous mission without telling Pax. The more Pax saw that this place wasn’t exactly Candyland, the more Pax realized why Axel hadn’t said anything.  There was no way Axel was finding a girlfriend down here and Pax would have never approved of his vacation choice.

         Lou Ellen held up the hand that she’d kept tucked under her armpit. Except, she wasn’t holding up a hand. She was holding up a stump of a hand, the skin looking cartoonishly cut. He could see the clean white of her bones and red of her muscles. No blood. Apparently, she had lost a limb. Her giggle was suppressed by the disgusting toxicity of the air. “Alabaster told Jack to take my hand to keep track of where I was. So, I gave it to him.”

         Axel frowned at the stump. “That’s… brilliant and disgusting, Lou Ellen.”

         She blushed, tucking the stump back under her armpit. “Thanks. When Al’s invisibility spell wears off, Jack will realize he’s holding a disembodied hand.” She laughed again. “I hope he freaks out.”

         “That’s mean,” Axel chided, though a smile cracked along his cracking lips.

         “And hilarious,” Pax said, “That’s a really impressive trick of the Mist.”

         Lou Ellen’s face fell.

         Axel’s smile soured. “It is a trick of the Mist, right?” he asked.

         “Um… it was supposed to be,” she said, her voice quiet. “I wasn’t specific in my spell casting… or the time limit for it…”

         Pax puffed up his cheeks and popped the air out. Half-a-second later, he could hear Axel do the same.

         “We should get your hand back onto your body as soon as possible, in case the magic keeping the limb and stump preserved starts to fade,” Axel said, gently.

         Lou Ellen glanced down. “But, we’re so close. And, it’s not like we’re going to be visiting Tartarus sometime soon on a joy ride.”

         From what Pax could see, the landscape stretched on into dismal plateaus of pain for miles, each gradually decreasing in elevation. He feared how they would get out of here if they continued downward.

         “A fun side-trip? Where are we going?” Pax asked. Normally, he didn’t scare easy with Axel around. Seeing the look of determination on Axel’s face made him worried about what made Axel so determined.

         Axel clenched his jaw, scowling out into the abyss. “To repay one of the biggest debts humanity has ever accrued.”

  ***

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! :D And I hope everyone is staying healthy and safe. Stay tuned to see which celebrity is showcased in next week’s episode of Cottonballs from Hell.

[naturestoxiin]

! ✰ — pamela isley, also known as poison ivy, is a thirty year old hero whose allegiance is pledged to the green / herself. they can be intelligent &  confident, but let’s not forget they’re pretty moody & cunning.

tw: abuse, murder, drugs

stats;

name & alias: pamela isley / poison ivy age: thirty gender: female pronouns: she/her special skills: chlorokinesis (pheromone control); toxikinesis (toxic immunity); seduction species: enhanced human 3 positive traits: intelligent, confident,  3 negative traits: moody, manipulative, cunning

questionnaire;

were they dusted in thanos’ snap?

pamela dusted.

how are they coping after everything that happened? if they got dusted, how are the adjusting to being back?

pamela’s still pretty pissed off about dusting in the first place, harboring a lot of pent up anger towards thanos. but, she’s doing her best to adjust properly after everything. she’s gone right back to her old ways of trying to help the green thrive as it had been without her for a period of time.

how do they feel about the new multiverses? are they excited to work with new people they may have never met before? or hesitant?

pamela is torn between being annoyed and not caring at all. she can be a snarky bitch to people she does know, so you can only imagine how she may be with people she doesn’t know. she’ll try to be nice tho i promise

a brief bio;

born with an aversion to sunlight, pamela isley was locked away from the world by her (abusive) father. despite having a prescription for a lotion that would protect her skin, pamela was forbidden from going outside entirely. one day, her mother allowed her to play outside, which ended in her father punching her mother and giving her a black eye. as if nothing had happened, pamela’s mother went outside and began gardening, and then explained to pamela that she liked gardening because the flowers listen to her, and sometimes, if she were very quiet, they would speak back to her. the abuse continued, despite her mother always telling her it was nothing to worry about. every time her father would hit her mother, he would buy her forgiveness with flowers, and the garden would grow -- this is how pamela learned that flowers could manipulate people. however, she also learned about human cruelty when her father murdered her mother in cold blood, and she witnessed the whole thing. he then buried her mother under her own garden before he was ultimately arrested and later sentenced to life in prison after being found guilty of domestic violence and murder.

while in college, pamela created designer drugs, dealing pheromone pills in order to study their effects. when the university learned of her activities, she was expelled and put in jail, though she had already used her pills to get the dean under her thumb, so the charges were dropped. after graduating, pamela visited her father in prison for the first time since the murder of her mother. he sat in silence, staring at her, waiting for her to make the first move. after a time, she proceeded to to get out of her seat and kiss him on the lips. by the morning, he was dead, and the toxin used to kill him was untraceable. the dean secured pamela an internship at wayne enterprises straight out of college, and she helped develop pharmaceuticals and cosmetic applications, but she always had greater aspirations.

pamela used her pheromones to get a meeting with bruce wayne, where she pitched a business project that would cut his advertising division by 100% using the pheromones to get the meeting was her proof that wayne enterprises could use pheromones to target clients & modify their behaviour to the company’s benefit. however, wayne refused her pitch because it amounted to brainwashing, and removed free choice. ethically opposed, wayne fired her on the spot and warned her that his company owned any research she had done, so she would not be ale to pitch her idea elsewhere. angry, she ran past security to steal whatever she could of her work. specifically, the plant serum she had made from her knowedge in botanical research, which she alone knew how to make. in the process, she was doused with her own chemicals, which changed her – made her immune to poisons and viruses, and gave her command over all plant life and connecting her inexorably to the green, and gave her control over pheromones. she became an eco-terrorist, using her abilities to strike back at those who struck out at the green.

tell us about your character;

generally pamela cares more for the green over people, but she does occasionally make exceptions to this

frequently has mood swings. one minute she’s sugar & spice & everything nice, and the next she can be the complete opposite

absolutely will have a garden eventually here, she can’t live somewhere without having a garden tbh

she genuinely thinks very little of humanity but that’s just her being a lil salty

but despite that she has a love for children, which probably stems from the abuse she endured during her own childhood

can be very cold at times, especially if it’s something she decides she doesn’t really care about

always running in heels. literally what are other shoes? flats, sneakers, etc? forget about em. heels only

rarely ever works well with others, let alone with a team. she has her own agenda and follows it very closely

[howtohero]

#221 Poison

Show of hands, who here loves eating? Wow! All of you (except of course for Mr. Alexi Wurst who hates eating so much that he made a deal with the Devil to remove his frail mortal body’s need to eat. Don’t worry MAW, we see you and you’re valid) what a positive response to my question! Now, unfortunately, despite how much fun eating may be... sometimes it’s bad! I know, I know, that’s a lot to take in. We shouldn’t just be dropping massive bombshells like that with zero warning. (In our defense, the title is a bit of a warning.) But it’s completely true! Your enemies may very well exploit your noted love of eating to poison you. (We apologize for forcing you to note that fact at the beginning of this post, your participation in our straw poll may very well have signed your death warrant.) 

Poison is often used by villains and crooks because it is discreet, clean, and ludicrously easy. Poisoning an enemy alleviates the risk of being seen by your target and thus giving them an opportunity to fight back, since you can poison their food before it is served to them by an unwitting middleman or waiter. (Who, by the way, still deserves a tip. They didn’t know they were serving you poison!) Poison allows those who are squeamish about blood and guts and all the other gross stuff the human body contains to watch their most hated foes breathe their last breath. Poison can even be made to resemble certain natural deaths such as heart failure or that new (bioengineered by the Python Paramilitary) disease that’s been making rounds where all of a person’s blood spontaneously transmutates into snake venom thus making it hard for a doctor or mortician to identify the cause of death! Honestly, if you’re looking to kill a superhero, poison would really be the way to go...

Unless that hero is avid reader of this blog! In which case poisoning will no longer work! So don’t even try it. If you ever see a superhero reading this blog just scrap your poison plans. It’s not gonna go the way you want. (We just saved your life, you’re welcome.) We’re gonna teach you how to avoid getting poisoned, and if that doesn’t work, how to survive it. If you suspect you’ve been poisoned from now on, you need to always assume that you’re being poisoned. Sure, there are some red flags you should obviously be aware of. If you’re handed a pie by your arch-nemesis, odds are it’s probably poisonous. If you’re handed any sort of unnaturally colored liquid in a vial, you can bet your butt it’s poisoned. If you’re handed a juice box that is clearly labeled as poison, that is not an ironic gag, that’s definitely poisoned. But your would-be poisoners are not always going to be so obvious about their malicious machinations. The very best way to determine whether or not the food in front of you has been poisoned (and mark our words, it can always be poisoned. Even if you’ve just opened a sealed package of something. Even if you just made the food yourself! Poison is not impossible to teleport into food!) is to call up your nemesis, tell them you’ve just sat down for some delicious whatever and ask them if they’d like to join you for a bite. If they agree and say that they’re glad you reached out because lately they’ve started to feel like if the two of you just sat down and talked over a plate of ravioli you guys could really figure out your issues and move on to build a greater and brighter tomorrow, then you’re good to go! Just hang up on them and dig in. If, however, your nemesis starts being weird about this simple friendly invitation and starts making excuses like “Oh no I shouldn’t. I just couldn’t. I simply wouldn’t want to be a burden” or “I’d love to but- oh? Sorry, kjashfasi we’re breaking up. I think the maximum security prison that you put me in is going through a tunnel or something” or “What??? Are you??? Trying to???? Poison??? Me??????” then set that food on fire, you’re being poisoned. Why else wouldn’t they want to join you?!

Admittedly though, you can’t always rely on that foolproof method. What if you don’t have a phone? What if you forgot to charge your phone? What if you remembered to charge your phone because you wrote down just that morning that you should really charge your phone in case you eat something during the day and you need to call up all your enemies to invite them to join you partially melted kitkats or whatever and studies show that if you write something down you’re more likely to remember it so your phone was fully charged but unfortunately you accidentally sent your crush an embarrassing text about them that was meant for your best friend so you had to throw your phone into a ravine? Well my next suggestion was going to be to download that app for detecting poison in food but if your phone is at the bottom of a ravine that’s right out too isn’t it! The truth is, we could give you dozens of ways to determine whether the bag of sour cream and onion potato chips will kill you in a comedically drawn out and uncomedically painful way. You could use a science-beam to break the food down to its component ingredients. You can shrink down and enter the food and see if any of the molecules that make it up look poisonous. You could create a localized time-reversal bubble around the food and literally rewatch it get made. But all of that sounds like a major hassle doesn’t it? Surely there must be a better way. A way that doesn’t turn every meal, snack or breath mint into an hour long process.

What if I were to tell you that you could become immune to being poisoned? What was that? Was that a scoff? Ha! I scoff at your scoff. You can be immune to being poisoned. In fact, I’m immune myself. I’ve been poisoned by my enemies thousands of times, and yet, here I stand, alive as ever. (Well, not “as ever” remember that week when we were all double alive. That was crazy.) Haha yeah, that was crazy. But anyway, I’ve acquired a taste for it. I eat poison for just regular meals now. That’s how many times I’ve been poisoned. You can be like me, well, just in this way. Obviously you’ll never be nearly as amazing as me. But in this one singular aspect you and I can be the same. Becoming immune to poison is the same as becoming immune to all things. Just dose yourself with a little bit of it at a time and slowly build up a resistance to it. Then just repeat that for all conceivable types of poison, venoms, and all other types of toxins. If you keep up a consistent regiment of poisoning yourself, you’ll be having the bad guys shout “inconceivable!” in no time at all! (For the uninformed: “poison” is any toxic chemicals that can be ingested through simple touch, like for example poison ivy. While venom needs to be injected into a wound to take effect, like a venomous bee sting. However, while most poisons are automatic, venomous creatures can choose whether or not to inject the person they’re attacking with their venom. So, if you’re ever in some sort of villain orchestrated death trap where you have to either touch Poison-Dart Frog Man or allow yourself to be bitten by Venomous-Rattlesnake Man, you should allow yourself to be bitten, because while touching Poison-Dart Frog Man will definitely get you poisoned, Venomous-Rattlesnake Man actually let’s people slide like 20% of the time.)

Poison is a criminal’s dream. With it, killing people has never been easier. However, you now possess the tools to rob them of this great weapon. Score! Of course, all of this becomes for nought when you become a high-profile enough superhero. At that stage, the villains you’ll be fighting are far too proud and obssessed with showmanship to ever allow something secretive and low key like poison to do their dirty work for them.

[la-knight]

Books I Read in 2016_::_The Sinister Sweetness of Splendid Academy by Nikki Loftin

“When my mom was alive, she read me stories every night.

‘Use your imagination, Lorelei,’ she’d say, ‘and your whole life can be a fairy tale.”

I wanted that to be true. But I should have paid more attention to the fairy tales.”

When Lorelei’s old school mysteriously burns down, a new one appears practically overnight: Splendid Academy. Rock-climbing walls on the playground and golden bowls of candy on every desk? Gourmet meals in the cafeteria, served by waiters? Optional homework and two recess periods a day? It’s every kids’s dream.

But Lorelei and her new friend Andrew are pretty sure it’s too good to be true. Together they uncover a sinister mystery, one with their teacher, the beautiful Ms. Morrigan, at the very center. Then Andrew disappears. Lorelei has to save him, even if that means facing a past she’d like to forget – and taking on a teacher who’s a real witch.

What Lorelei and Andrew discover chills their bones – and might even pick them clean!

1.85/5 stars

So I read this book a while ago, and the first time I read it, I really liked it. Not love, but I enjoyed it just fine. I’m not snobby about the target age of my reading material: I love Dragons Love Tacos as much as I love Red Queen as much as I love The Night Circus as much as I love Aru Shah and the End of Time. And I read The Sinister Sweetness of Splendid Academy at a dark time in my life (I have many) when my depression went undiagnosed and therefore untreated and I couldn’t handle much in the way of length or high-high stakes or grimdark or anything like that. So this book was perfect because it had stakes but it’s easier to care about one kid’s life than about, say, the war for the Iron Throne on top of all your faves possibly getting killed by ice demons or zombies. And I enjoyed this book.

More recently, I’ve reread it, and…well, I didn’t love it or like it as much as I had the first time. I didn’t hate it, but I definitely didn’t love it.

People talk about purity culture, which is hecka toxic, and I’m not here for that (I don’t judge people’s reading material unless it’s something drastic, like shouting from the rooftops how much they enjoyed Mein Kampf because, um, yikes). If there’s a book that I’ve heard is problematic, I may or may not read it for myself, depending on the nature of the issues and whatever. No media is perfect, it’s a balancing act. If I’m titchy about the person getting my money, I’ll buy that book secondhand so they don’t get any of my money (this is what I did with Stephenie Meyer, Suzanne Collins, Cassandra Clare, Anne Rice, James Dashner, & JK Rowling, for example). Not difficult to do. The obsession with consuming so-called “pure media” can be super bad and result in things like anon harassment or even death threats. I’ve seen this happen. On the flip side, the push against both problematic content and purity culture, when dealt with rationally, has led to some really great discussions regarding media analysis and critical thinking with regard to story consumption, and that’s great.

Why is this relevant?

So I reread Splendid Academy after some exposure to articles, essays, blog posts, and tumblr posts about several topics - including the pervasiveness and lethality of fat-shaming (among other things, like the silencing and condemnation by society of justified female anger). I did not go looking for these posts, they just trickled into the fringe of my social awareness as a result of using social media. I’d read them, reblogged and retweeted them, but I didn’t consciously try to apply those posts to Splendid Academy when I reread it. But this time through, the book made me super uncomfortable, although at first I didn’t quite understand why. I had to sit and, as they say, “think muh thoughts” all the way through a few times before I figured out what was bothering me.

The very basic dual premises of this book are sexist and fat-phobic. Now, I’m fat. There’s a lot of stigma around being fat. I mean, people have died of treatable, not-fat-related medical ailments because their doctor refused to look for those things, falling back on “just lose some weight and you’ll be fine” instead - and then boom, it’s something like cancer (which is not exacerbated by being fat) and the person dies.

(I am not Google. You can Google this information if you really want to. It’s all over Tumblr, Twitter, and Google. Don’t bother me about it)

The sinister nature of Splendid Academy is that its run by three witches fattening up all the kids to be eaten. Typical “Hansel and Gretel” motif, right? Except! In “Hansel and Gretel,” the kids are literally starving when they come upon a food source, an adult tells them to eat and eat and eat (it’s not their idea), and Hansel ends up locked in a cage by the witch and force-fed because the witch* threatens to kill his sister if he doesn’t. A lot of fairy tales (original ones in Grimms collections and by Andersen and whatnot, I mean) have morals of various types. The moral of “Hansel & Gretel” is not “gluttony should be punishable by death” or “being fat makes you a worthless human and it’s why bad things happen to you.”

(*By the way, the stereotypical long-nosed warty witch who eats Christian children is an anti-Semitic caricature of Jewish women and it’s gross; luckily the author doesn’t do that)

But in this book, the kids almost seem to bring their imminent demise on themselves by eating too much junk food. Sort of like how the narration says Augustus Gloop ended up turned into semi-sentient fudge in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory because he was a greedy glutton and not because Willy Wonka is a colonizing* sociopath who should never be in charge of minors.

(*Three words: Fucking. Oompa. Loompas.)

All but one of the kids attending Splendid Academy are snackers. These twelve- and thirteen-year-olds will snack on Skittles or sunflower seeds or whatever while they do homework or school work. They’re fed gourmet breakfasts and lunches in the school cafeteria every day. The food is enchanted, of course, to be highly addictive and also enchanted so that it transforms immediately into fat, apparently? Bypassing the stomach entirely, I guess, because the kids never get full and literally just eat all day every day that they’re in school.

Wait, you say. If the food is enchanted, it’s not the kids’ fault they’re eating it. That’s not fat-phobic at all. What?

I said all but one kid has fallen for these magical machinations. One boy (not our protagonist Lorelei, but her friend Andrew) is basically immune to the call of the candy. If the One Ring of Power was candy, he’d be movie!Faramir and Lorelei would be Frodo. And why is he immune? Because he’s got a fairy godmother? He’s magical himself? He’s a total nerd and studied mythology and knows how to spot ensorcelled edibles a mile away?

Nah. It’s cuz he went to fat camp.

Y’all can’t see my face right now.

Now, to be fair, apparently Andrew was a compulsive eater and needed some kind of intervention because he was out of control (which, also being fair, is a ridiculous and tired trope about how fat people can’t control themselves around food and we need to kill that with fire and not spoon-feed the idea to tweens, thanks). But even with the blegh back story of compulsive eater, YOU DON’T SEND A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD TO FAT CAMP, OHMIGAWD. Unless he’s got PICA (that mental illness where you compulsively eat dangerous or non-food shit like glass or soap or carpet lint) or whatever, he’s not compulsively eating because he’s the next Augustus Gloop and he’s a spoiled brat who hates the word “no.” I used to be a compulsive eater as a kid (which is oddly not how I got fat). I developed the habit if “eating my feelings” because I WAS SUICIDAL AND FOOD WAS THE ONLY THING THAT EVEN HELPED A LITTLE BIT.

And you know what helped me curb my compulsive eating when my depression got really bad? It wasn’t the taunting about being fat or my mom telling me I needed to go on a diet or my dad asking me constantly if I really shouldn’t put back that second cheese stick or applesauce cup. What really helped me stop compulsively eating WAS TREATING MY FREAKING DEPRESSION.

Ahem. However, the book does do one thing sort of right with this kid - because he HAS UNTREATED DEPRESSION went to actual therapy (for the compulsive eating specifically and not anything else that might be wrong) while shipped off to fat-person exile because his parents are horrible people, he can recognize “trigger foods”* - the foods that he would compulsively eat and would make him overeat when he was upset, foods he now avoids. They got that part right. But it also means he’s more selective about what he eats (which is fine) and has more self-control than the other kids (um…), self-control he learned thanks to an entire summer at fat camp (UM…), and his sheer determination alone to not “stuff his face” helps him shake off the herion-addictive magic laid on the school food.

ExCUSE me???

(*Side note, I’m on meds now for non-food stuff that screw with my appetite and also I’m a broke bitch but as a kid/teen, my trigger foods were bread, apple pie, cake, waffles, and fruit bagels. I can still, if I had money, eat an entire angel food cake but that’s not a trigger, it’s just super fluffy and delicious)

So our sidekick is a former fat kid with untreated mental health issues who got sent to fat camp and thanks to the miracle of fat camp has now overcome his unhealthy dependence on food AND has the will power (forged from denying his inner fatty) to throw off three witches’ worth of addictive magic. Something Lorelei only manages to do after she eats magical dead-kid bone chips. Because she and the other kids have no self-control and so just eat and eat...apparently.

Alrighty then…

But Andrew’s not our lead. Lorelei is. And Lorelei interesting as a middle grade protagonist. Her mom recently died of cancer and Lorelei blames herself (because that’s what kids do) and she’s filled with even more confusion, fear, self-hate, and anger than a typical tween girl as a result both of her mother’s lingering illness and ugly death as well as the fact that Lorelei at one point jerked away from her mom during an argument and, due to chemo-induced weakness, her mom lost her balance, fell, and broke a bone.

Lorelei is lost and angry. She makes friends with Andrew and finds out about the witches and their cannibal plot while still struggling not only with her mom’s death and her own guilt, but the screwed-up situation with her family. What situation? Her dad and older brother are 100% emotionally abusive and treat her like she’s some kind of bratty little monster because she’s feeling sad and guilty and scared and angry all the time.

HER MOM JUST DIED YOU BUTTHOLES, SHE’S GOING THROUGH PUBERTY WHICH IS A HORMONAL HURRICANE OF DEATH THAT RUINS EVERYTHING, AND YOU POOP-WAFFLES ARE HELPING NOT AT ALL AND YOU SUCK.

This is a MAJOR pet peeve for me because too often emotional abuse is normalized in middle grade fiction, especially when it comes from parents (this book, The Night Parade by Kathryn Tanquary, All Four Stars by Tara Dairman, Young Wizards by Diane Duane, and even in Harry Potter, perpetuated by some of the so-called heroes) and it drives me bat-crap.

This is a middle-grade review, so I’m trying to keep it PG13.

The head witch, Ms. Morrigan, is drawn to Lorelei because of her anger and how lost she feels, and instead of eating her, wants to adopt her and make her into a baby cannibal-witch. This would be kind of a cool angle except once again, it reinforces that Lorelei being angry about her mom being dead is a flaw iin her character and not a completely understandable psychological response to a tween’s universe being ripped in half by the concept of her mother being gone forever.

Her dad and brother are “good guys” and disturbed/horrified by and condemning of her anger, grief, guilt, and fear, and they punish her for it. Ergo, according to the narrative, her anger is bad. The evil witches who literally eat children admire her anger and say it proves she should be one of them, too. Ergo, her anger is double bad. She only stops being tempted to join with the witches once she realizes being angry about her mom dying is “immature” and “bad.” Ergo, blah blah blah, girls should never be angry, it’s unladylike and turns you into a flesh-eating witch.

My parents spoon-fed me “demonstrating anger in any way for any reason is bad” along with a HUGE helping of “being angry about feeling powerless makes you a bad person” for six years of my adolescence, then wondered why I started self-harming, developed depression, and attempted suicide on multiple occasions before I was twelve. The message that a child’s anger in the face of powerlessness, death, or sudden and unpredictable changes to their homeostasis is an inherently bad thing that should be punished and makes them bad or evil can be incredibly damaging. Her mom died. A twelve-year-old girl is allowed to be confused and sad and hurt and angry about that.

Like I said, I didn’t hate the book (although these two things I ranted about made me suuuper uncomfortable while reading and the more I thought about them later, the angrier I got). But I didn’t love it, and I didn’t like it as much as I did during my first read-through. The fat-shaming was annoying and gross, and I’m suuuper tired of angry girls being shamed for their feelings, especially teens and kids. Young people feel things so intensely. And they don’t always have the experience or the vocabulary to parse out how certain aspects of a story make them feel or why, or resist internalizing toxic messages about how feeling intensely or feeling a particular way at all is bad. Thre’s a big differene between asking an eight-year-old to consume their media critically and someone twice or thrice that age. And yeah, parents have a responsibility, family discussions, if they rely solely on books society has failed them, blah blah. Unfortunately, a lot of parents suck and a lot of parents shame their kids for having feelings the parets don’t think they should. Especially young girls. The normalizing of emotional abuse by parents in middle grade books proves how “normal” many adults think such things are.

Did I Enjoy This Book: yeah, for the most part, I guess. But I won’t be reading it again anytime soon.

Would I Recommend It: No, I wouldn’t. I can’t think of anyone I would feel comfortable recommending it to, who would actually enjoy it.

Plot: .35 star

Word Choice: .5 star

World Building: .5 star

Characters: .5 star

Realism: .75 star

-¼ star for fat-shaming

-¼ star for normalizing emotional abuse

-¼ star for shaming female anger

Total Score: 1.85/5 stars

________________________________________________________

Nicole Kidman as Principal Trapp Michelle Pfeiffer as Ms. Morrigan Bryce Dallas Howard as Ms. Threnoddy

[osmw1]

Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 4

‘However, I have heard not heard of such job as Poison Earth.’

Is that right? I mean, I’ve played a few videogames before, but that’s a job title I’m not familiar with.

‘Aye. To my knowledge, “Earth” is a first job for humans. Once a certain level and conditions are fulfilled, you will advance to a second job.’

So, Earths are first jobs. Might be pretty similar to the jobs that frequently appear in MMOs.   Like how you’d go from novice to warrior, mage, priest, or ranger. But the stupid “Poison” bit has really caught my attention.

“Poison” is just poison, right? Besides Spirit Link, other usable skills that I have are Poison Absorption (Weak) and Poison Release. If “Earth” means “human” in this world, then what am I? A poisonous person? Why the hell poison? What, am I toxic or something? I’ve never even trolled or griefed before.

‘Aye… perhaps it is due to my influence.’ “What do you mean?” 

I inquired Veno. He replied in a slightly troubled tone. 

‘It is because I was born a poison-type dragon.’ 

There are lots of different types of dragons too, huh? It’s not exactly rare to find dragons described as red, blue, white, or black either. In this case, would he be green? It would be quite kinda tricky to put him in a game.

Because I’m linked with him, I’m a poison human… a Poison Earth. Is this an effect of Forced Possession Summoning? Hmm? Hey, didn’t I see you breathe fire and cast lightning? 

‘If I had used my most powerful magic, there would be nothing but death for my opponents. It would be more troublesome that way. Rarely do I use poison now.’ 

Ah. He had been holding back in the fight so that he wouldn’t kill anyone. He would rather let them go rather than to deal them serious damage.

‘The swamp that you fell into was a poisonous swamp. That would be the reason why the girl gave you an antidote, is it not?’ 

That’s right, isn’t it? It must’ve been because I was in the poison that I was feeling great. Maybe it was actually dangerous though. Who knows. 

I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem like a pleasant job class. How do you put it? It just doesn’t seem like it’s very strong and it doesn’t seem like it’ll get stronger either. From what I’ve experienced in JRPGs, poison is never useful in a big battle. Most bosses are resistant or immune to poison, so it never does anything. 

‘That is not true. Do not make light of poison.’ 

That’s only because you’re on the boss monster’s side.

In a JRPG, it’s not very effective on your opponent but super effective on you. That kind of bullshit happens all the time. 

‘Aye, then you are wondering what you should do?’ 

… in a place without computers, there’s not much an SE can do. No, there’s practically nothing I can do. Like I said early, the life I lived was far removed from things like combat or exercise. If you think about it normally, you can’t level up your job unless you actually use its powers. 

“Well, not much of a choice but to use my job, huh?” 

The problem is how much power does a Poison Earth have. They had to resort to Forced Possession Summoning—an outrageous measure, might I add—to defeat Veno. What if I had picked up some of his powers too? Maybe I could use it to my favour as well. But honestly speaking, in JRPGs, abnormal statuses are usually bad news for the player. But in Western games, that’s not always the case. It depends on the game too, but I’ve completely shutout a last boss before with poison and paralysis.

But who knows which one it is in this alternate world. Might be possible too that neither is true. Whichever it is though, I’ve got to know what a Poison Earth can do in order to survive from now on. To go down the list, Spirit Link is probably a skill related to Veno.

‘Yes, that is perhaps correct. It is most likely that you were forced to learn the skill because of your link with me.’

Can skills be activated by focusing on the desired outcome? 

‘Ah, there too exists skills that have to be acquired through proper training.’

Seems like there are learned skills as well. While thinking about nothing in particular, I focused on Spirit Link to try to activate the skill.

… nothing especially seemed to happen.

‘I believe the ability to communicate through our thoughts while linked together is the desired effect of Spirit Link.’ 

So that means it’s a passive skill. Alright, next up is Poison Absorption (Weak). I try to focus on it, but there weren’t any changes.

‘Certainly, you realize that I was watching when this skill activated.’

What? When was that?

‘It was when you fell into the poisonous swamp and was floating on your back. You seemed to be in great comfort if I am not mistaken.’

… must’ve been right before Arleaf saved me, when I was still half-asleep. It was because of this skill that I felt fantastic, like I was soaking in an onsen. That just doesn’t sit well with me though. I guess it does exactly what it says on the tin and absorbs poison… 

Next up is Poison Release. I focus on it and then get the feeling that words lit up.

Swamp Toxin

Some other icon appeared. … guess I’ll just select “confirm”. Two lumps of purple liquid were created in my palms as soon as I did that. 

‘Hmm… you are able to attack with the toxins you had absorbed. It would appear that you are able to cast beginner-level poison magic.’ 

Do I sling this at my opponent? Hmm… might have lucked out getting magical abilities. But I’m not really excited or anything about being able to use magic so easily. 

‘Oh, but it is not magic. You will need learn quite difficult spells to cast magic. I shall offer you the chance to learn. First, you have to—’

Veno conveniently draws these charts and formulas in my field of vision, but it doesn’t get through to me. Ugh, it hurts to fuckin’ look at. Show it to me later!

‘Hmm… as one would expect, the translation skill does not activate for matters like this. At a later time, then, I shall simplify it for you so that even you can understand it.’ 

Though it’s so that I can survive, to so kindly and thoroughly teach me would be a great help… but that’s not the problem. 

‘I have time to spare for I am currently merely watching. Would it not be fine for me to kill time this way?’ 

He has the nerve to be so carefree… I thought it’d be cool to ride a dragon into battle, but right now, it seems like it’s the other way around. Feels like he’s a dragon riding on my shoulders, ordering me what to do. 

‘Is there some reason that you should be making fun me?’ 

I’m having a conversation with dragon in my head who’s nothing but talk. 

‘Scoundrel! How dare you ridicule me?’ 

And that’s why I’m not scared. He gets all thirsty for blood but I don’t see him making a single attack at me. But still, it’d be a pain if he keeps getting pissed off like this. Literally and figuratively. 

‘It seems like we have been sidetracked. You were wanting to begin with confirming of what you are capable, correct?’ 

We’ve pretty much wrapped up with this confirmation, haven’t we? To be frank, I don’t think I have what’s needed to do what Veno wants—defeating a monster and levelling up. 

Firstly, I don’t have any weapons or armor. Secondly, food. Moreover, I’m feeling kinda hungry but I don’t have any of this world’s currency. How the hell am I supposed to live like this? 

… speaking of money, Arleaf told me to go to the town hall. There might be a way to earn money there. 

‘Aye. If it is like how it is in the past, there is a chance that something like a bulletin board with methods of acquiring money existing. You should try going there. Perhaps it is that building.’ 

With that said, we left the square and headed towards the rather large building that looks different than the houses around it. The building is deserted, but there’s a bulletin board by the entrance. I’ll just check it out first. 

Though I’ve never seen this writing before, it’s translated in a way so that even I understand. No, maybe it would be more accurate to say the meaning gets transmitted into my head. However the translation may work, I can assume it’s thanks to Veno that it does. It would be absolutely tragic if I came to this world and didn’t understand anything said or written. It’s easy to see if you think of the situation when I was saved by Arleaf.

After being spoken to in a language I’ve never heard before, I was fed some mysterious medicine. Then she was pointing and gesturing, somehow trying to figure out my condition. Even with all that said and done, I get to the village and kept hearing a dragon’s voice in my head. … yup. If you think of it like that, you could say I’ve been blessed. 

‘You brood upon strange thoughts. Well, at least you are giving me thanks.’ 

Oh, think about it the other way. Imagine if the Forced Possession Summoning transferred your magic to me too. 

‘What?! To have my feats and prowess stolen by humans?! Take your words back at once!’ 

Right?! It’s more convenient for me this way! 

‘To dare steal my powers is but villainy! Remember that!’ 

I go to take a gander at the bulletin board while I brush off Veno’s rage. Generally, most of the posts are calls for assistance and trade requests. I wonder if there’s a specific time to post. It doesn’t seem like you can just stick a note up whenever you want. Oh, there’s a request with a recommended level for adventurers. 

Defeat tiger plants growing in the plains Recommended: four or more party members; basic job lv 20 or higher

There are a few posts like that printed on the board. However, for a lv 1 novice like me, it’s not a job that I can handle. 

‘About that commission you are currently reading, it seems like the reason why no one has accepted it is because the reward is not befitting the work.’

Half of this stuff is pretty simple to understand, but it’s mixed in with requests that seem closer to scams It’s not too much different than back home, huh? Hell, this town hall is less of an adventurers’ guild and more of a public employment service center. Like, this is all day labor work postings. 

Guildhalls in tabletop RPGs and videogames are always so grand and full of adventurous spirit, but right now, the romance is withering away in front of me. Is it really like this in reality? Or is it only because this village is so dead that this place looks shabby? 

… I feel like this’ll have do since I’m pressed for time. But usually I’ll need to present a license or something for this. 

‘Are you perhaps speaking of adventurer registration? That is performed at the church. You will also need to be put through something called a baptism.’ 

At the church? 

‘If possible, I suggest you to avoid using the church. They pose quite a danger.’ 

Yeah, I hear religions can be dangerous sometimes. Is it because the guys who tried to kill you were from the church? 

‘They were crusaders of a chivalric order sent by the kingdom. They’re related to the church, I suppose.’ 

I see. That’s what he means by dangerous. 

‘About the jobs on the bulletin board… I suggest the request that is by your right-hand.’ 

I read the writing on the request that Veno suggested. 

Harvest marphina Recommended: poison-curing magic; lv 25 or higher 

It seems like I would be rewarded for each gram of marphina collected. The requester is this village’s tool dealer and apothecary. It says harvest, so it’s a plant, right? But since I’m not at the recommended level yet, wouldn’t this be really tough for me? 

‘What are you saying? If my memory serves me right, this plant grows in the poisonous swamp that—as if falling in were not enough already—you were swimming in? You are able to absorb poison, correct?’ 

Ah. I just have to go back the way Arleaf showed me, eh? What’s more, I don’t even need any purification magic, thanks to my Poison Absorption (Weak). Normally one would need an antidote, but it might not be worth it to use one just to do this request. This request would only be worth it for those who can cast magic that cures poison—that way, it would cost nothing. 

The recommended level of 25 might indicate how difficult it is. Maybe you can only cure the poison at that level. In any case, Poison Absorption (Weak) can likely handle it somehow. 

This might just turn out to be an easy job. I wonder if Arleaf harvests like this too.

previously: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /next/ (full list of translated chapters) (discussion thread) (support Average Translations)

[jenniferstolzer]

Time to begin a long overdue education

I have never seen Buffy before. I traded @bewareoftrees​ ... I would watch all of Buffy and she would watch all of Babylon 5. So here I am!

I won’t liveblog summaries, but I will give jokes and guesses and observations so if you want to come along (or not) the tag is going to be #jen watches.

ep1 Welcome to Hellmouth

I like that this is picking up where the movie left off, although I believe these people are 16 like I believe this “authentic teenage slang speech.” Ah the late 90s...

Tony Head! My bro! My favorite Night Surgeon. I was biased from the start but I’m gonna guess he will PROBABLY by my favorite character. This will be cemented if he ends up knocked out at any point.

I do come with some knowledge of this show, unfortunately as much as I like Willow already, I’m gonna brace myself for impact. Joss has slain my heart before. 

David Boreanaz is still hot but I’m sorry dude, you are way too puppy dog to be menacing and your dialog is atrocious. All the vampire dialog is atrocious. I’m gonna believe this is b/c it set a standard. Can’t forget this show is a milestone for modern fiction writers. 

oh crap this dvd is old enough yo have to pick episodes individually. The past sucks. 

2, The Harvest

Angel starts what I’m gonna guess is an illustrious career as a sad, cryptic puppy. 

Was 90s fashion ever attractive?

Holy crap the show just used the “jumpscare” sound from Illbleed and everywhere else. I’m recognizing all these sound effects. Someone bought the classic horror kit I think. 

a dudebro who can’t close his mouth swings in from the side in computer lab and I laugh and laugh. 

I didn’t see Jesse becoming a vampire coming, perhaps I should be paying closer attention. He of course gets super sexual assaulty when he’s a vampire and Cordelia is totally into unhealthy relationships so she’ll let him touch her hips and inhale hissing breaths in her ear. No problem. 

“Bring me the first” says Luke. //other vampires bring out an innocent black man. Me: uncool.

“Jesse is dead. You have to remember, when you see him you are not looking at your friend, you’re looking at the thing that killed him.” - Giles

Willow saved him from a vampire! These two are the best. Tag team it awkward booknerds.

The Vampire growl sounds like they’re burping really loud. Glad to know the evil vampires are still stupid enough to get faked out. 

3 Witch

Giles is so offended that Buffy wants to be a cheerleader. How is it that he is more accurate to me in highschool than anyone else. Good news... as a grownup I’m totally on Buffy’s side. Let her cheer. She’ll be a smash at the gymnastics. 

AND we begin with body shaming. Cordelia is talking to Willow now which is weird. And Willow herself I think either got skinnier between episodes or they were dressing her in liek 10 layers of clothes in the two opening eps. Then this other girl comes in and Willow is like “You lost a lot of weight” and the first girl is like “Had to.” Ugh. How about I just grate my spare tire off with an industrial file. 

Hooray for Buffy putting out the fire and saving the girl :) Doing something is so against the teen girl stereotype. 

Amy just exposition barfed all over Buffy about the huge crush she has on her own mom. I’m glad they’re highlighting this body weight thing as an unnatural fixation but that’s just for the crazy witch mom, not for the universe which is who is usually concerned with how girls look in cheerleading costumes. (forgive me, I have a stink about body standards)

“It’s so cool! You’re like a guy! My guy friend who knows about girls stuff!”

I like barbies as voodoo dolls. And I love the twist that Amy is super totally evil.

Ah! Xanders “you’re a guy” got turned around on him. Hurray!

OMG BODY SWAP! It’s the worst Freaky Friday but I approve of them surprising me with it. Great job Buffy!

You punched Willow out you bitch! Oh and Xander too but You PUNCHED her OUT. She’s so evil! OH CRAP NOW SHE HAS AN AXE!

So cute shy Giles so embarrassed about his first spell casting. Then Willow runs in with a bat. Yeah, I’m going to like this show I think. 

and ep ends with psychological horror

4, Teacher’s Pet

Xander is struggling with his toxic masculinity standards. Apparently how many times he’s scored is up for debate so he has to go pretend to threeway to regain status in his alpha male society. Gag. 

Meanwhile Angel is over here being perfect boyfriend material, super hot, wearing a white tank with blood all over his arms. He gives her his coat. Gag again! Lol. We’re hitting a very wide gamut here. 

Xander falls for a woman who looks weirdly like the mom from the last episode. 

Blane just sexually harassed his substitute teacher. I’m convinced now that last ep was fatshame episode, this ep is sexual aggression the episode. 

“I’m gonna carb up for my one on one with Ms French this afternoon.” Ick gross much?

Evil sexy woman ate Dr. Gregory’s head b/c she’s a preying mantis. Being sexually attractive is a weapon women possess against men so desperate to fork a fertile woman that one of the characters is literally called the “fork guy” in this episode. 

Someone give an emmy to the random bum. 

Giles is not immune to sexy substitute, but he’s got enough sense to appreciate without turning into a blithering idiot. 

Oh wait, Cordelia is still here for the body image hangups I see. 

By the way, all this crit about alpha male/ femme fatale nonsense is not a crit on these characters, it’s a writing hangup. Plots, tropes, and cliches are those things b/c they’re over used and this is the late 90s after all.

“I understand, I met someone and you’re jealous.” Xander is projecting so hard as he’s on his way to fork his teacher, just saying. 

Even if she wasn’t a praying mantis this woman needs to be arrested. She’s sexually harassing the hell out of this 16 year old boy as he stumbles all over himself trying to prove his societal preconception of masculinity. He was a half second away from doing the right thing and saying no to the hot woman b/c it’s bad touch 101 but then he got drugged and passed out. Close but no cigar, X.

Willow has had a crush on him this whole time. It wasn’t subtle at all. 

I’m glad that Blaine is rightfully horrified by the concept of being raped and murdered. That’s the correct response. Write men who can think with more than their dicks. Men are well-rounded people too. 

Mantis affects are “awesome” lol. Looks like someone I know. 

(apparently it’s more than just a joke. That’s the same costume used for both shows. I snarked about it looking like Na’Grath and it actually IS Na’Grath. And the actress was in B5 as well... omg the blending of universes is starting. @bewareoftrees did I give you Babylon 5 or did you give ME Babylon 5? HAAAAH)

Willow talks about how nice it is that the boys are being conscious with their bodies and continue to proves that she’s the best. Also Dr. Gregory was a virgin I guess. Thank you, show, for not making a joke out of that. 

Disk 1 Summary

It’s a fun show. It’s got some kinks to work out still but I can def see the promise. Will def keep watching.

[stellar-stag]

The Problem With Tech

Disclaimer: The opinions reflected in this essay are my own and do not represent LinkedIn, Inc. For any questions regarding LinkedIn, please direct inquiries to press@linkedin.com.

(don't wanna be sued or fired, so...)

Juicero is the hot new joke right now. A startup offering a $400 juicer (or juice bag squeezer, I suppose) that has an internet connection and QR scanner to keep you from drinking anything that's spoiled or recalled, with the distinct side effect of being legally unable to obtain your juice if the scanner breaks, your internet or Juicero's server goes down, someone hacks the juicer, etc etc. When a company has to issue a statement asking people to not manually squeeze their product despite it being both easy and the purpose of the product, something has gone horribly awry.

And we laugh and we mock, but underneath it all I feel that this is an issue that's perfectly representative of some of THE crucial issues in West Coast Tech right now (I would say Silicon Valley, but Seattle and Los Angeles companies are equally guilty). Some of you must be wondering how this could have possibly gotten through four rounds of investing, extensive design and user testing, and release before these issues came up.

It's not that they didn't know. It's that they didn't care.

There's a lot of factors that led us to this point, but I'm going to narrow it down to what I think are the four biggest: An idolization of "intelligence" as a supreme moral good, a conflation of success with intelligence, a lack of personal responsibility for consequence, and a widespread sense of complacency.

To start off: I am a software developer working for LinkedIn, and I currently live with three other software developers: two of them work for Google, one works for Facebook. Our broader local social circle consists almost exclusively of developers, mostly Google but also Uber, Infer, Palantir, and the like. And while I can't claim this is a universal attitude amongst tech, at least amongst this group, everything is an optimization problem. Playing board games, especially euro games, is an excruciating process where they can take upwards of twenty minutes to take a single turn, taking the time to analyze decision trees and modeling other players strategies and decisions. But they also seem to be completely ignorant of board games as a social function. My roommate who optimizes most is, as a direct result, very good at board games. But when players act against him to prevent him from winning because he always wins if we don't stage intervention, he protests. When someone makes a move he's deemed suboptimal, and it ends up being a benefit to them over what he thought was optimal because he didn’t anticipate it, he still couches it in language of "the wrong choice" or "what they should have done".

Because this group values optimization, efficiency, and intellect above all else. Obviously, this has a lot of issues, as "intelligence" as a quality has a long and storied history of being used to denigrate others and justify oppression, despite it being, just as anything is, a collection of unrelated skills that people can have varying amounts of practice at, and in practice far less important than dedication and willingness to practice and learn. Intelligence, as the public regards it, seems to mean "skill at mathematics, logic, memory, and reading comprehension, as well as rate of skill acquisition in these areas". But when you treat it as a general marker of value, we start getting problems.

This ties into the next point: Tech regards success as a marker of intellect, and therefore a moral good. When Elon Musk joined Trump's advisory board, there were arguments about whether or not it was good or bad, if it was lending legitimacy to Trump and cozying up versus an attempt at harm minimization. Regardless, people protested and boycotted, and I saw a former classmate respond that we "mustn't shame the smartest people in the country". And that really stuck with me. Putting aside the Tesla, which is admittedly a massive advancement towards renewable energy vehicles, and the advisory board debate, Musk has made some intensely strange causes as his goals, such as brain uploading and other transhumanist causes, which some might argue shows a disregard for accessibility or practicality, while simultaneously disincentivizing those who work in the Tesla manufacturing plants from unionizing by attempting to placate them with frozen yogurt. He also claimed that the unions were an unjust tyrant over a powerless oppressed company by likening it to the tale of David and Goliath. Panem et circenses, indeed.

In short, there is much about Musk to criticize. To claim he should receive immunity from this criticism by virtue of intellect is concerning to say the least, but it's an idea that's present in the tech community at large, from the rationalists at LessWrong.org to the Effective Altruism movement, and on down to the people who, in complete seriousness, advocate for Silicon Valley to lead the world, with Elon Musk as CEO of the United States. The form differs, but the underlying idea remains the same: the best thing one can be is smart, and since we are successful, we are the smartest and therefore the best.

However, despite feeling responsible enough for the well-being of the world to oh-so-magnanimously offer to take the reins and save the common masses from themselves, tech has a consistent problem with personal accountability. Facebook was, and remains, a prime means of spreading misinformation. But it took massive outcry for them to cop to their complicity in this matter or to take action. And this manifests in so, so many ways. One of my roommates refuses to act as though the rising costs of living in the Bay Area are detrimental, claiming that the influx of tech into SF is harmless because "cities are made to house people" and "tech has buses to get employees to work, so that lower income workers are driven further away from work isn't a problem" (ignoring the historical and cultural issues at play in gentrification, a rising sense of entitlement, and the fact that most tech companies only offer such luxurious benefits to their salaried and full time employees, not the contractors or part time workers, a.k.a. the workers who make the least, have the most trouble securing consistent transportation to work, and are most necessary to the upkeep of the offices and the benefits they provide while receiving the least respect and compensation. But hey, at least the buses have WiFi so you can work while you commute!)

And that's not the worst example. An acquaintance, who has thankfully moved very, very far away, once attended our weekly board game nights. He was a software engineer for Facebook. For those unaware, ad revenue is the prime, and essentially only, stream of revenue for Facebook. As part of compensation, workers receive ad credits, to be used for ads on Facebook. And this acquaintance once had an idea. He convinced his fellows to pool their credits together, and with it, he purchased an advertisement with the following stipulation: This ad would be served to all women in the Bay Area within the age range of roughly 23-30 or so. The content of the ad was simply his picture and the phrase "Date <acquaintance's name>" (at least, as he related it to me. I thankfully never witnessed the ad directly).

Now, given the fact that tech is incredibly male dominated and hostile to women, one would think this ad is at best tone-deaf and at worst horrifying. And yet, he related this to me in candor, treating this all as a joke that had gone awry. When I raised the possibility that this was literally harassment, regardless of any potential joking intent, I was met with blank stares and an insistence that it was hilarious and not serious (of which I remain unconvinced). Granted, one of the women targeted by the ad was his ex-girlfriend, who lodged a complaint, and the acquaintance was subsequently fired for his conduct after a massive scandal about the potential issues regarding the invasiveness of targeted advertising and how it contributes to a culture of exclusion.

Just kidding! There was a single local story about it where he was kept anonymous and he got a slap on the wrist and a book deal about his experiences dating in Silicon Valley as a software engineer. The book can be purchased on Amazon and while I haven't read it, nothing about the title, description, or author bio implies to me that he is even remotely repentant, beyond a vague sense that his missteps are due to being *socially awkward, but in an endearing way* as opposed to, you know, actively curating and supporting a toxic environment for women.

And it might seem as though these examples are simply bad eggs, but they really aren't. They're just symptoms of an industry that looks at a lack of diversity and, rather than seriously examine why women don't stay in industry and how the culture they so take pride in is complicit, decide that obviously it's just that being programmers didn't occur to women, so we've just got to make programming seem fun and feminine, right? Just lean in, women! Just grit your teeth, prepare yourself for an unending nightmare of disrespect and abuse, and lean in! And that's not even remotely approaching the severe underrepresentation of black and Latinx people in tech.

But I digress.

Where does this aversion to responsibility come from? There are so many possibilities. But the one most unique to West Coast Tech is the corporate culture, or perhaps, the lack thereof. It's a land of man-buns, flip flops, and company t-shirts. My roommate owns a combination bottle opener and USB drive, proudly emblazoned with Facebook’s logo. The brogrammer is alive and thriving. And to be completely fair, this culture is actually something I quite like about working in tech (The casual part, not the acting like a college freshman part). That I may be frank in my discussions with my co-workers, swear profusely and use emojis in email, and casually discuss my mental health with the man three steps above me in the corporate hierarchy (and two below the top) is quite refreshing. But it has drawbacks.

I attended a college that required a minor in the humanities, and had as its mission statement to educate people in STEM who would understand the impact of their work on society. But so many people just viewed those requirements as an obstacle, or just took economics and got the takeaway of how to best impact markets. And most colleges don't even pay lip service to such a goal. So I worry that "casual" is code for "unwilling to examine potential harm caused by one's actions". That the culture is why harassment can be seen as "just a joke". Why anyone who feels unwelcome is just "too uptight". Why people can be reasonably othered and rejected in interviews because of "a lack of culture fit". And without a willingness to accept responsibility for the consequences of actions, nothing will change.

This ties into the final point: the complacency. Everyone in tech wants to be seen as changing the world. But I'm also privy to the conversations we have in private, and you know what we care about more? Compensation. Its pretty rare that someone I know will come home from work and express that hey, their company is working on something that will legitimately help so many people. More often, we have discussions about who has the better offices, or the best snacks, or the best free meals. I like to think I'm a kind person, but is that really true? I may profess to be aware, but I still own no fewer than ten garments with LinkedIn's logo on them. I still take full benefit of all of the compensation, including free breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and great insurance, and a free gym. I still just used my ludicrous paycheck to purchase a condo instead of anything magnanimous or truly worthwhile. And my fellows are much the same. 

The irony that I wrote this entire essay, on company time, on a company device, because today is the Friday per month we get to devote to professional development and is discounted in work estimates because we are expected to do something other than our normal duties (read: not come to work) is not lost on me. 

I touched earlier on the Effective Altruism movement, which is comprised primarily of tech and tech-adjacent workers. I remain somewhat critical of the movement, for a number of reasons. Firstly, there is a focus on its own impact while simultaneously continuing the trend of disavowing consequences. One of the most notorious discussions in Effective Altruist groups is the avoidance of a theoretical AI that could eliminate humanity. This conversation seems to be staying in the wheelhouse of safety of testing of AIs that don’t seem to be anywhere close to a reality, rather than more concrete examples of how tech reinforces power imbalances, like, say, advertising algorithms that reinforce racist stereotypes. The second criticism I have is that for many of the metrics used by EA to measure the effectiveness of charities are purely monetary: how much of what goes in goes back out. This ignores other factors, such as raising awareness, operational costs at various sizes and scales, and a question of how directly does money even translate into benefit? The good done per dollar is not considered, merely dollar preservation from donor to donee. Furthermore, that the natural extension of Effective Altruism is that, in order to be a good person, the best thing one can do is obtain a high paying job (such as one in tech) and donate money, rather than donate time by volunteering, strikes me as convenient justification rather than honest analysis.

This excellent article (which by and large inspired this one) touches on many of these issues, but I would like to highlight one statement in particular: “Solving these problems is hard, and made harder by the fact that the real fixes for longevity don’t have the glamour of digitally enabled immortality.” As Emily Dreyfuss points out, Silicon Valley has very little interest in actually bringing about progress. Silicon Valley is trying to sell you on the idea of progress. They want to peddle you a “The Jetsons”-style future, but instead of the post-scarcity society that has mastered space travel, they want you to buy Rosie the Robot Maid. Helpful? Sure. Revolutionary? Hardly.

It's perhaps unrealistic to expect tech to actually do the hard, thankless work to improve the world, but it's certainly not unfair to expect them to at least be honest. LinkedIn is more benign than most tech companies: it is, for all intents and purposes, a resume book masquerading as a social network. The adage goes that "if you're not the customer, you're the product" and that rings true in tech. In exchange for use of the site, people surrender their information to the company to be sold as potential customers to advertisers. At least with LinkedIn, that's the expectation and goal. People give LinkedIn their resume and employment information and LinkedIn, in turn, lets recruiters look for leads. But the users more or less expect and want this, because they joined for the express purpose of finding job opportunities. But that this is benign doesn't mean it is revolutionary or radical. It remains only useful to white collar employees. Blue collar workers have no use for LinkedIn, and we can hardly claim to be changing the world of employment when the people who need us most can't benefit from the services we offer.

Could I go and find a company that does nobler work, or enter academia to advance at least the collective knowledge of humanity in some way? Sure. Will I? No. I am selfish, and don't want to give up my cushy job, and cushy benefits. And I'm not the only one.

The most interesting thing to me about the Juicero debacle is how with even the slightest forethought, they could have actually done something impressive. Consider the As-Sold-On-TV devices you see sold: I mean, who really needs a one-handed spaghetti twirler, right? Well, people with motor control issues or disabilities, is who. People who struggle with tasks most consider trivial. But people don't care about that, they care about what can be marketed, so we instead act as though the world is simply excessively clumsy and hope that someone who really needs that extra help sees it.

So, consider the Juicero bag. Reporters have noted, laughingly, jokingly, that the bag is exceedingly easy to squeeze and thus remove juice from. It's so simple, it requires hardly any effort! Someone went through the process of designing a bag, meant to be able to dispense its contents far more easily than other bags, as well as a device to automate the squeezing. Now I don't have motor control issues or disabilities, but I'm willing to bet: someone who does? Or who can't easily get, say, orange juice cartons from the fridge, open the top, lift the heavy, irregular object at just such an angle in just such a location for just such a time, all to get themselves a cup of juice? Yeah, I bet someone, somewhere, saw this and thought, finally, I can actually get myself milk without needing help or preparation.

And Juicero made this device, slapped an internet connection, QR Codes and a $400 price tag onto it, and marketed it as being the future of juice, vulnerabilities and use cases be damned. And I want to scream.

Because in the end, they cared more about being successful than being helpful.

Unfortunately, identifying the issues is one problem, addressing them is another. I'm not sure how to even begin tackling these. But we have to. People in tech, myself included, need to take responsibility for our culture and creations. We have a moral duty to do better. To be better. The internet is, at its core, a wonderful tool for accessibility of information. But like all tools, it can and is misused, and we're the ones who let it happen. We need to fix this.

[redorcagaming]

How to use Guzzlord - Pokemon Battle Spot 3v3

The directors at Gamefreak slammed into the designers workshop one morning and declared with great bombast: ‘We shall have the apocalypse in Pokemon form!’ The designers looked at one another, each raised a sly eyebrow and then in unison with a voice more demonic than a snoring Primal Groudon they decreed, ‘It shall be done!’ And thus Guzzlord was born.

‘He shall have all the HP…all of it, muhahaha,’ went the first designer, ‘He shall have spikes literally everywhere,’ went the second designer, ‘He shall have terrible defences, just god awful,’ went the third designer who was perched under a bridge waiting for billy goats to pass by, ‘and a typing so bad the fairies will eat him alive,’ and so it was done.

Yes, we need to talk about Guzzlord. This rather beautiful pokemon has been widely swept aside in the competitive scene and it’s not his fault, he’s just two generations too late. With fairies left, right, center and back in 7th gen and with a speed that translates into an awkward waddle, there doesn’t seem to be a lot going for him. However, all is not lost. In the right battle environment, with the right ev spread and the right move-set this beast can become your best friend, rather than your worst liability.

(courtesy of bulbapedia)

The stats speak for themselves: astounding HP, terrible defences, poor speed and half-decent mixed attack. If you want him to tank anything you’ve got to invest in one of the defences; only invest in one and you’ll be killed in the other. At the same time his offences are going to struggle without investment themselves.

Six resistances and an immunity is actually pretty good at first glance; and it can be in the right circumstances. There are some problems though and the big fat elephant in the room is that x4 fairy weakness. How many psychic pokemon carry dazzling gleam? A lot. So there goes your psychic wall. How many fire pokemon carry a fighting move? More than you’d think. How many water pokemon carry an ice move…and on and on. Even the ghosts are fairies in this gen. So how do we use him?

Battle Spot 3v3 environment:

In 6v6 there’s too much that can switch into him and because of his speed, and with no access to priority, all it takes is one super effective move and he’s death fodder. 3v3 is a different story, however. Let’s first get this out there: 3v3 is not just a scaled down version of 6v6. The dynamics are different: team selection is critical as opposed to 6v6 where you just pick a starter; walls are more effective as there is less variety to break them down with; tactics shift when you only have three pokemon to worry about. Under this environment Guzzlord has much more opportunity to make an impact.

Advised set for 3v3:

You can only max out two stats and whatever you leave will make you vulnerable. With some pokemon you can drop a few evs here, dice a few evs over there, but not for Guzzlord. With his terrible defences and only passable offensives; Guzzlord’s an all or nothing kind of guy. But there is a way to have your cake and eat it too:

Guzzlord @ Assault Vest Ability: Beast Boost EVs: 252 Def / 4 SpD / 252 SpA Quiet Nature - Draco Meteor - Dark Pulse - Flamethrower  - Dragon Tail  

Explanation:

- No point putting any evs into his already massive HP as it’ll make very little difference to his bulk.

- Concentrating on Special Attack over Physical Attack means he’s not rendered useless by a burn, which is a concern for a pokemon who’s designed to sit there and glare at you while you throw the kitchen sink at him.

- Maxing out defence means you can use the Assault vest to patch up his special defence.

-Quiet nature (+Special Attack -Speed) means you can get more damage from Dragon Tail while having very little effect on your already slow speed tier.

- Running Dragon Tail means you aren’t set-up fodder once you use Draco Meteor (which gives you -2 special attack after use).

- Dark Pulse is necessary STAB move (Same Type Attack Bonus) and nothing is immune to it.

-Draco Meteor over Dragon Pulse because Dragon Pulse will not get you the kills you really need (Garchomp, Salamence, most other dragons in fact do not go down to dragon pulse, but will to Draco).

-Flamethrower for coverage as steel resists dragon, and to hit those x4 weaknesses (ferrothorn, scizor, kartana etc).

-Worth noting his ability beast boost is a great ability if you can get a kill (raises your highest stat by one stage excluding hp), though his low speed means your follow up attack opportunities will be somewhat limited.

Strategy

- This set is similar to one sometimes used on Snorlax, but often to poor effect. On Snorlax you have one immunity and no resistances, so when you get hit it will almost always be neutral or super effective (fighting). As a result if you boost both defences (one with assault vest), then you’re missing out on important bulk that Snorlax really needs; as such Snorlax can work much better as a specially defensive tank that avoids physical attacks (or the curse set). Guzzlord, however, has six resistances and one immunity, so boosting both defences can work much better allowing him to wall a greater number of pokemon on both defensive sides than he would with investment on just one side.

- With Draco Meteor and mixed bulk you can take one hit from any non-boosted dragon (except Mega Altaria) and have a decent chance of getting a one hit KO in return:

Vs Garchomp (choice scarf)

Vs Mega Salamence (Special)

Vs Kommo-o (mixed offensive)

In all three of these examples dragon pulse misses the ohko, which is why you need Draco.

- In situations where you have no super effective means you can still cause havoc with dragon tail:

Vs Mega Gyarados

Here you can get Draco Meteor damage and then dragon tail damage if they try to Dragon Dance (which they always do) shedding them of the boosts (if it hits).

- While his speed is bad, it’s worth noting that he underspeeds Aegislash and can ohko him with dark pulse while he’s in blade forme (2hko in shield form) - though steer clear of the annoying toxic stall aegislash who will outspeed and sub-toxic-king’s shield you to death (please stop using that god awful set).

Vs blade-forme Aegislash

- As a final note, look what happens against a Mega Gengar with Dazzling Gleam:

x4 effective Dazzling Gleam off Mega Gengar’s 170 base special attack does 60-70%. This guy has some bulk! Meanwhile Dark Pulse has a 62.5% chance to ohko.

- Obviously if your opponent has a plethora of fairies in their team then don’t bring Guzzlord, but the good thing about 3v3 is you don’t have to bring him if he’s not favourable. Also it’s worth noting that your opponent will most likely bring a fairy if they see him on your team sheet (if they have one), meaning you can use that knowledge and be ready with your fairy counter whether you bring Guzzlord or not.

Conclusion

Guzzlord can one-on-one a lot of prominent Battle Spot pokemon and with six resistances, one immunity and massive invested bulk he can do some decent walling too. Despite this Guzzlord remains a difficult pokemon to use in a meta game riddled with fairies, and should not be used by a novice trainer. In the right circumstance, with the right team predictions, he can fulfil a unique niche; just don’t expect him to be a key for all locks.

[lycorogue]

Glitches: The GRID (part 1)

So, @cyhyr​ opened a can of worms by asking about Glitches, and now you are all forced to read about everything I have built for it thus far.

Muahahahahahaha!

But first, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can see Cy’s ask and my history of the world of Glitches here. I think one of the main things for me when it comes to creating Glitches is to categorize the powers and physical abnormalities. In part, because it’s a natural human thing to do, and so this categorizing would canonically happen anyway, but also in part so I can make sure to keep the powers in check and not go too OP with some of my characters.

Here’s a quick history (for reals, it’s only 3 paragraphs long):

To try to help keep track of what to expect when dealing with Glitches, the United Nations created the Glitch Classification System; a universal categorizing of Glitches based on their physical evolution and super-human abilities. There are five main branches known as “Species” of Glitch: Beast, Mind, Tweaker, Evoker, and Mage. Beasts refer to anyone with physical traits that aren't normal to Homo Sapiens: wings, odd skin tone, heightened senses, etc. Minds are essentially telepaths and telekinetics, but also include any Glitches that can do any sort of manipulation with their mind, or are hyper-intelligent. Tweakers can alter either their own or another's DNA. This can be as simple as advanced healing or altering skin density, or it could be as advanced as power mimicry. Evokers can manipulate the elements, or manipulate energy such as magnetic force, gravity, or kinetic energy. Finally, there are the “odd balls” known as Mages. They can manipulate physics itself in a manner typically described as “magic” or “supernatural”. Such examples are teleportation, probability manipulation, and precognition. Each “Species” has a varying amount of sub-categories known as “Classes”. A Glitch who fits in multiple Species-Classes is known as as a “Multi,” as in multi-class. A Glitch whose genetic abnormalities fit them in multiple “Species” is called a “Hybrid.”

The Glitch Classification System is compiled into the Glitch Registry and Identification Database: aka The GRID. Up until five years prior to the main Glitches storyline, it was a requirement for every human categorized as a Glitch to be added to The GRID before they gain the right to vote. Most were even added to The GRID at birth if they were a Beast Glitch, or during their school years if their powers manifested and could be recorded during normal health evaluations.

Now that it is (at least temporarily) deemed unconstitutional to force a Glitch to be registered on The GRID, most educators, physicians, and parents only use The GRID as a reference guide to know what powers the child has and how to handle them/train them. It is rare that a Glitch gets officially registered on The GRID anymore, but some still feel it is their civic duty to register as a means of showing Acts of Faith; proving they are not dangerous to society.

For some more complete examples, check below the break for some power break-downs of the main characters of Glitches.

The Adult Reworks: These characters were all once canonical X-Men universe characters. I’m hoping I altered them enough that they don’t feel like rip-offs. Please alert me if you feel I need to rework any of them a bit more. (Also, I don’t have last names for anyone yet. I’m a slacker...)

Matteo: Registration: Beast-Tweaker Hybrid; Beast Class: enhanced senses and reflexes, also classified as a “Norm-Beast” (someone who fits the Beast category but still has an average human appearance); Tweaker Class: advanced healing

He can heal at an elevated rate, and he has heightened senses. Being a Beast-class Glitch, his powers developed in the womb, instead of manifesting at puberty. He has always had the elevated senses and healing. He can pick up scents, as well as hear more clearly and further, all more akin to animals than humans. His elevated touch allows him to pick up vibrations easier. For instance, when a person touches railroad tracks to determine if a train is out of sight down the line. With a literal blink of an eye, he can switch his sight over into infrared.

Emily: Registration: Evoker-Beast Hybrid; Evoker Class: Energy Charmer; Beast Hybrid Element: Magenta-colored eyes 

Emily's Evoker ability focuses on energy; namely the ability to manipulate the kinetic energy in the atoms around her. The “Charmer” class is because energy cannot be created nor destroyed, so she can only manipulate it. Specifically, she can shift an object between having kinetic and potential energy. There is a lot to unpack with this, so I’ll save it for another post. While she is not a Mind-hybrid at all, her powers have a side-effect that gives her a strong resistance to Mind Glitches. The constant change between kinetic and potential energy around her causes a sort of "static" that messes with the mental waves Mind Glitches use to manipulate their victims. A strong enough Mind Glitch can navigate the "static" to still affect her. She can also concentrate on keeping the energy around her at its natural state; removing the "Static" completely, which is helpful for when she actively wishes for telepaths to reach her mind for whatever reason.

Ryder: Registration: Mind; Class: Silver-Tongue

A form of verbal hypnosis. Silver-Tongues can use their power to convince others that everything they say is true, or compel them to do whatever the Silver-Tongue wants. There are three main restrictions to this power, but I will save these details for another post.

Keahi: Registration: Evoker-Beast-Mind triple Hybrid; Evoker Class: Earth Summoner; Norm-Beast Multi-Class: enhanced endurance, and elemental immunity; Mind Class: limited telekinesis

There’s a lot to unpack with Keahi, but the main thing is that she can produce and manipulate granite. All sub-powers derive from that fact. Her main use of this power is to encase her body in granite in an almost instantaneous, reflexive full-body armor. She can also create things by manipulating the shape of granite, such as weapons, doors, ladders, etc. She can shift the ground my moving granite encased in the ground, which leads to the Mind sub-category. Her telekinesis is limited to granite. She can move it with her mind, including hovering it in the air and “throwing” it large distances. Anything that has at least 30% granite in it, she can manipulate telekinetically. Her Evoker powers alone take up about 4 paragraphs on her bio sheet, so I won’t fully get into it here. The “elemental immunity” sub-category allows her to thrive around lava: increased skin density; reflexive encasing of granite that allows her to STAND IN LAVA for up to 30min; extra coating on her eyes to protect against heat; expanded heat tolerance so her skin won’t burn when touched by most flame heat (up to 2500-degrees Fahrenheit before the granite auto-covers); and extra filtration in her lungs to protect against ash and toxic fumes usually connected to volcanic eruptions. There’s a lot more there, but I’ll save it for another post.

Cody: Registration: Tweaker; Class: Soul Splitter/Cloning

Soul-Splitters are able to convert a fresh drop of their blood into an exact copy of themselves. These clones default to mindless drones with a “hive mind”, however, controlling the hive-minded drones tends to use all mental ability of the original. Because of this, Cody tends to utilize the “soul splitting” part of his powers to give his clones autonomy. In other words, when he creates the copy, he can “gift” him some of his consciousness. The downside is that whatever knowledge and/or personality component Cody “gives” to his clone is locked from him until the clone is destroyed - either by being killed, or by being converted back into a drop of blood by Cody’s will. Cody prefers willing the clones away because the trauma of them dying causes him migraines, the intensity of which is determined by how many clones are dying at once, and how much pain they feel when they die. He can’t will them away without being within twenty feet of them, though. Once the bit of “soul” is returned to Cody - either through him dismissing the clones or them dying - he gains all knowledge and experience his clone gained. It was a great way to become a quadruple-major in college while still enjoying some partying. There is a lot more involved with this power, but that’ll be saved for another post.

Ignatius “Iggy”: Registration: Evoker-Beast Hybrid; Evoker Class: Fire-Charmer; Beast Class: elemental immunity; Beast Hybrid element: gold-colored eyes

He’s in a Pyro-Evoker subset that’s not quite as evolved; power wise. He can’t create (evoke) fire, but he can manipulate existing fire. Something as large as a burning building to something as small as a simple spark or dying ember; he can manipulate the fire however he pleases. He can shrink or grow the flame, regardless of amount of fuel feeding it. He can also bend the flames into whatever shape he wants. His favorite is a flame whip. The concentration of the flow of flame actually makes it tangible, and so being hit with his flame whip won’t only burn, but it will also sting just like an actual whip would. The flame whip can also lasso objects so he can swing using it or bring and object to him using it. He also has full immunity to flame, making him incapable of being burnt by fire or smothered by smoke.

Okay, this already ran longer than I originally planned... the main OC cast will be put on The GRID in the next post....

[notalwaysok-blog]

It’s Been Years

SO it’s been years since my rape, and of course it still affects me and probably always will, but I feel like I have recovered. It has literally been four years and I’m still standing.

SO much has happened in the last four years, but I feel like my life is on track. I have had a whirlwind of pure foolery in my love life but I am in a good and healthy relationship right now.....although it is probably about to be long distance, because I got a teaching job in the midwest that I start soon.

The real reason I am writing on this blog right now is because I work with misogynists. To be honest I thought I deleted this blog but since I didn’t, here goes.

I work for a service organization, so essentially I am a full time volunteer. I work on a small team with a male supervisor, a female super supervisor, and then there’s the rest of us. Seven females and three males. There used to be one more male, a supervisor. But he was fired back in December.

Anyways most of these males I work with are misogynists. One of them I particularly can’t stand, because he is misogynistic AND stuck up AND delusional. He behaves as if he is better than other people, says things that support this thought of mine, and believes that he should always be listened to. When giving feedback to me, he basically says without words that I need to be more like him. He has referred to me and other female members on the team as dressing like “thots” (we wear an ugly ass uniform, but on the days we don’t, you know, we look like thots), has referred to me as “bitch” more times than I can count (always outside of work I think, usually while he has been drinking; I never made a big deal of it in the moment), and really behaves as if I owe him my time, energy, or efforts.

For instance, when he heard that I was “slandering his name” (I was not, simply told some one on the team that I felt all the men on our team except for the youngest one are misogynists), he came up to me in the office and demanded an explanation. I told him I don’t think he understands what misogyny is, because then he’d have to agree that he is one. He told me he and his bestie on the team (female) looked it up and they were both confused. I simply stated to him how different his interactions were between she and I, told him I wasn’t taking back anything I said, and continued to the restroom. When I exited the restroom and came out, he legit stood up in front of me and said (demanded), “How am I a misogynist? Go on, Speak.” I asked if he was kidding and then went about my business.

He is condescending and calls people out publicly over shit he clearly bottles up inside instead of having a private conversation with them. Then he wonders about people’s reactions, thinking he is an angel. He is the definition of a gaslighter. But I’m me, I can’t really be lit. SO because I mind my business and am generally quiet, when I don’t take shit lying down, everyone assumes I’m mad. But nah, I’m just combative. You’d never know unless you really knew me.

This guy identifies as bisexual, maybe he thinks that that makes him immune from being a misogynist. I’m not here for LGBTQI etc. using their sexuality as a cover for them being misogynists. Yes trans men are included. FOH. Misogyny is misogyny, and yes guess what, even women can be misogynists!

Anyways since realizing how this man moves, I’ve been thoroughly distancing myself, because I have decided this man isn’t worth my energy or time. Whereas another man on my team asked me what he was doing that was misogynistic because he doesn’t want to do those things anymore and it upset him that I felt that way, this guy was basically asking for the proof because he wants to defend himself because he absolutely is not one because he is a mind reader and it is okay for him to talk to anyone anyway he feels like. Even though he doesn’t call any of the males on the team thots or bitches, or demand that they speak, or try and check their “attitude.” Only my ass and the other women need to have their attitude checked. Me extra since I’m a black woman and so I’m perceived a certain way and I should care. I don’t. I’m an angry black woman, I have every right to be, and I really am not here to make white people and other non black POC comfortable. It is not my job.

But yeah guys keep toxicity away from yourself as much as possible. 

[braindamageforbeginners]

Natural

Week 9, Day 67

One of the more interesting aspects of getting a horrible disease - from my warped perspective, anyway - is getting to see everyone’s reaction to my choices. Or, rather, my choices to go with conventional, miserable-but-proven (or at least, “more statistically likely to save you than beet juice”)(you only think I’m joking about that one) treatment, as well as the crazy experimental stuff (because conventional treatment alone has a 50% success rate with cases like me).

What’s interesting here - from my limited perspective - is that everyone in my family is okay with most of my treatments and prescriptions, but there are some things some of them just can’t stomach. Mom isn’t fond of the experimental treatment. Dad doesn’t like me taking ambien (again, if you  have to sleep through Temodar, you’ll want something fairly strong in your system). My step-mother’s not wild about my ever-growing zofran-dependence (I don’t know if I’ve pointed out to her that if I vomit while on chemo, my puke is technically considered a biohazardous substance that musty not come into direct contact with human skin)(this is technically true)(also - and much more importantly - at my co-pay for these drugs, puking them out would cost me $50, which I don’t have, so a second-helping of zofran is just a cost-saving measure).

But all of these factors stem from what I’ve heard one scientist call “the squick factor” (I don’t know if he stole that term from the world of Internet fan-fiction; I originally heard it in an NPR interview about biotechnology back in 2009). Which is that there is a point - a purely subjective, personal line in the sand - at which we can’t stomach science or technology or their advancements. Let me put it to you this way. What if science could bring you back from the dead, but with someone else’s face? Think of this like “Altered Carbon” - you come back in a different (presumably healthy) body, with all your thoughts, personality, memories, and quirks preserved. Just in a different human body (we’ll let you choose your gender and general age-group so this doesn’t get too horrifying too quickly). Some of you, like me, would consider that a decent deal. Some of you are horrified. Some of you are wondering if you could get Pamela Anderson’s body.

The point is, there are treatments out there that some of you will find tolerable, some of you will refuse, and some will kind of enjoy. However, we all - or everyone I know of, anyway - seem to have an unhealthy obsession with what’s “natural.” Whatever the hell that means. As Daniel Riskin pointed out in “Mother Nature is Trying to Kill You,” if you want a “natural” birth (he uses that as an example because society has very carefully - and artificially - defined what that is in a way we can all understand), there should be a significant risk that the mother and child will be killed or permanently debilitated during the process. The minute you start using doctors, antibiotics, and anything sterilized, you’re not being “natural,” you’re just giving yourself a comforting illusion of moral superiority that you didn’t get a epidural. Not that this is an endorsement of drug use (well, it sort of is, but only under direct medical supervision), but it serves to point out that we’ve artificially defined pain and suffering to be natural. Which it is; as ten minutes with the Discovery Channel will prove (you don’t think that antelope that’s being eaten alive by hyenas is enjoying it, do you?).

In my case, if I wanted a “natural” life; I would’ve died sixteen years ago; because modern neurosurgery wouldn’t have been able to remove Tumor #1. And I would’ve been permanently intellectually lessened, because neurofeedback wouldn’t be an option. In short, pragmatism - or my desire to live a life not marred by death and disease - made me into a transhumanist (the belief that technology should be used to improve the human condition and humanity in general). And once you cross that particular Rubicon, there’s no going back. Stab me in the head with a power drill? Sure, I’ve done that one twice before, let’s do it. Nuclear fire to the head? I’m not wild about it, but we’ll add it to my ever-growing tab of potentially-dangerous medical treatments. Poison? Sure, why not? I’m going to the gym every day, too, and barbells are not usually found in nature. Nor are cars, electric lights, or unfiltered water (as soon as I wrote that, I remembered that idiotic trend of drinking unfiltered water, which is about as safe as unfiltered cigarettes)(NOTE TO SELF: investigate correlation between unfiltered cigarette consumption and access to potable water - can smoking make one immune to parasites?). Nor are guns, so we’re all condemned in this; we’re just arguing over who gets how much blame.

And I bring this up not so much because I’ve gotten blasted with disdain for trying to survive this thing mostly-intact (well, some, but no more than I would for most of my other less-charming personality quirks), but because I started remembering my recent experiences in context with my Bioethics class. My professor noted that there is always a push-back to new medical advances - of any sort, regardless of how well society eventually accepts them. A classmate noted she’d received a liver transplant as a toddler, and her parents had received death threats over it. Which strikes me as an unbelievably horrible thing to do to a frightened parent, but it made me realize that this sort of judgmental shit is heaped on everyone with a dangerous illness who’s not ruling out any treatment or measure in that task.

So, yeah. I’m not taking the natural path on this one - which, again, would’ve resulted in my death almost two decades ago, and I do fully intend to double-down on the same strategy that’s worked for the past decade and a half. And I fully expect everyone out there to do the same when it’s your turn. Again, if you are in a position where you have to fight for your continued existence, don’t be afraid to bite or gouge some eyes in that endeavor. Just don’t be a judgmental dick about it. And, to anyone out there wondering if my current radioactive, toxic (literally) lifestyle is diminishing my life expectancy, all I can say is, “No shit, Sherlock.” I fully expect nasty side-effects from the radiation at some point; I suspect the chemo will have long-term kidney/liver effects. The thing is, you have to live long enough to have those problems. Preserving my kidneys and liver now won’t do me much good if I die in the next five years. And I’m spilling all this out to help you frame your medical decisions. A few more years on this planet right now beats potentially living to 90 (again, you don’t get a consolation prize if you die in a year or two).

ANYWAY… WEIGHT: Unknown, the gym scales were broken. Presumably, it’s still somewhere between 210-215 lb. CONCENTRATION: Not bad, although I haven’t had any particularly vexing tasks I’ve needed to think through (I’m taking a day off of paperwork and medical problems, because I can). APPETITE: Pretty good, although it’s hard to judge due to my increased protein shake/caffeine/plant consumption, none of which whet the appetite. ACTIVITY LEVEL: Good; I went to the gym and library, although I’m exhausted (again, that’s par for the course; Research Coordinator thinks that’ll continue until next week). SLEEP QUALITY: Excellent. Which is good and bad - any time I sleep through the night, I don’t drink a liter of water, so I get a nasty Temodar hang-over. On the other hand, sleep deprivation is a bigger concern at the moment than chemo hang-overs. COORDINATION/DEXTERITY: Great at the moment, although I still have a little bit of a limp (I’ll probably have that until I die, though). MEMORY: Excellent, again, though, I haven’t been inundated with memory-dependent tasks today. PHYSICAL: Had a nasty chemo hangover this morning; that’s resolved, obviously. I still feel like I need to crawl off to a quiet hotel room and sleep for a few weeks, but that’s probably to-be expected SIDE EFFECTS: Nothing new or particularly note-worthy.