#literally dropped all these romantic ass lines without intending to? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefledglingdm · 3 years

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Umm can I request directors commentary for literally any Leopika fic you’ve written??? Love your stuff!

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

ahhahaha thank you so much! yes, absolutely! this is going to be long, because i have decided to do that scene in light of my life, pain of my ass. beware LONG BULLSHIT and spoilers below the cut!

ok to set the scene. i was TERRIFIED to write this part. because this is the climax, you know? we've had 150k words of build-up and emotional tension to this scene. while this has been a romantic story, this is the actual climax of the story. we've spent all this time in kurapika's head as he's dealt with his anxiety, his need for control, his fear of letting go. how he's changed as he's opened up his heart and his life to people outside. and finally he's actually working through all of his emotions and the progress he's made out loud, in front of everyone. and because he forgot about giving his speech until like five minutes before (sorry, kp), he is forced to speak from the heart.

For five agonizing seconds, Kurapika stood alone in the middle of a silent room. Above him, the string lights coalesced into a single shared point of soft white light that illuminated his space.

i so wish this could be adapted to, like, netflix or made into a movie. i put so much into this imagery. the play on light? the cinnamon topography? *chef's kiss* yes please netflix CALL ME.

Everyone in his life was staring at him expectantly, Pairo and Altair and Gon and Killua and Nanika and Alluka and Kalluto and his parents. And approximately a hundred other people on top of that, extended family on both sides, industry insiders, coworkers. All staring at him and waiting for him to say something amazing and powerful and deep about love and what did Kurapika know about love, anyway? He was a thirty-two year old trans man so terrified of his own emotions, so paralyzed by his fear of loss, that he did not figure out he was in love with his best friend until three weeks ago.

this is me screwing the knife in deeper for poor kurapika, sorry. this is so incredibly horrifying for a person with anxiety, as someone with anxiety. behold, the terrifying ordeal of being known.

Five seconds. Kurapika finally found Leorio standing near the back, leaning against the bar. He wondered if Leorio picked the same spot where they sat together the very first time they came here on purpose. Leorio sent him a wink and a thumbs-up.

the terrifying ordeal of being known and being so, so loved anyway. it was great to write in a way that showed leorio realized he was in love with kurapika first (indeed, realized that kurapika was in love with him before kurapika knew himself), because these little interactions shows so much how leorio is inviting and allowing kurapika to come to him on his own time. and supporting him the whole way, because they are friends!!!!

Breathe, Kurapika thought. Just breathe. It’s going to be okay.

this statement was not supposed to be a running theme/motif, but i'm super glad it did! i wrote it as a one-off line for melody, but then i was like, hang on, that's kinda good? every other time i write i'm like, hey, you could make a theme out of this!

“Um,” Kurapika started, his voice cracking. Christ, he sounded seventeen again. He cleared his throat.

my friends told me about how their voices changed and dropped on T. any trans person is stronger and more powerful than any us marine.

“For those of you who may not know, I’m Pairo’s brother. Kurapika. His older one, just to be clear.”

this is definitely something that has happened like a hundred times.

There was a smattering of chuckles around the room. He twisted to look at Pairo. “I’ve known Pairo since he was a toddler dragging a ragged, threadbare T-Rex plushie around behind him. I was there when he read his first chapter book on his own – Dino Hunter, of course – because he came bursting into my room at two o’clock in the morning to tell me about it.” Another round of laughter. “I was there when he got his first notebook, when he won his first writing contest, when he was published in his first magazine. I was the first person he told about liking boys instead of girls. I’ve watched him grow and learn and fall in love. And now Altair is part of our family, too.”

pairo and kurapika's lives as brothers were amazing. dino hunter is a reference to the book they both read in the manga that led to kurapika wanting to leave the kurta and explore the world.

i also thought that writing fit pairo well because it's a pretty accessible career for his eyes. he could type, he could enhance the screen and font when he needed, and he could do talk-to-type. one day i want to write a side-story of when pairo and altair met, because i have it perfectly formulated in my head and it's adorable.

Kurapika took a deep breath, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. He confessed, “To be perfectly honest, I was scared when Pairo asked me to do this, because I’ve run out of things to teach him. He’s run on ahead of me in life. Settled down, moved in with his boyfriend – now husband, congratulations on that by the way – and gotten married, while I’m perpetually single and living alone in my loft apartment with an absolutely spoiled monster of a cat. Stop laughing, that wasn’t supposed to be a joke.”

emperor the cat was also not intended to be a character. i came up with him like, right before i started writing the chapter.

i think it was hard for kurapika to watch his brother fall in love and move on ahead in life. even if he was genuinely happy for them both. i had a conversation with a coworker a few months ago where we both talked about how we feel like we are "behind," even though we're both very accomplished. she felt like she was "behind" because i have a master's degree; i felt like i was "behind" because she was happily married and already had a child on the way (who is here and beautiful and perfect). and i imagine kurapika wondered if he was falling behind or missing something when he saw his brother succeed in love and business without really trying.

but there's no competition at all, of course. the world spins on, and we grow and change and find our place in our own time. there's no race.

The room quieted again. Kurapika went on, his eyes flicking over the crowd. He was starting to smile, too, now.

he's starting to realize this is okay, he's not going to mess up, he may actually have something worthwhile to say or share. he's getting more comfortable in all this.

“But I’m also a wedding planner – I know, ironic – and I’ve learned a lot about love from my clients. So if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to share some of those lessons now.”

No one from the back shouted at him to shut the fuck up, that he didn’t have a single clue what he was talking about, so he thought he was safe to carry on.

how funny would that have been??? like, it would have been fucked-up and humiliating, but in any other situation?? hilarious. just killua looking like that dude in mean girls being like HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE except it's like HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.

He thought back to Light of My Life’s various couples, musing over their own rocky paths to the altar and the beautiful, fractured glimpses into their lives they gifted Kurapika and his team. What did they teach him? What did they teach his heart, that terrifying, terrified lump of meat frantically beating in his chest?

More than you think, his heart seemed to be telling him. Trust me; I will guide you through this. Trust me, trust me, trust me.

*"listen to your heart" plays in the background*

also like. trusting oneself and your perceptions and your feelings and your heart is so necessary. it's an important part of healing. and being honest with yourself and your feelings is part of a foundation for all healthy relationships, i think.

also i really like writing alliteratively. the play on words with "terrifying, terrified" was. inspired? terrifying, because kurapika for a long time feared his own heart and feelings, viewing them as a loss of control; and terrified, because his heart is afraid, too. and they are taking this leap together!

And Kurapika explained: “Love isn’t just found in eloquent professions or grand, romantic gestures. It’s supporting each other through your lowest, worst moments and coming out the other side stronger for it. It’s standing together, hand in hand, against the world. It’s in looking at someone simply existing in the world and seeing them as they are: good, beautiful, strong, intelligent, kind. It’s in your communication and your foundation and trusting that all good things will come together in time. It’s in the family that you build together. It’s in the work you each put in to get through the hard times. Together.”

me: yeah uh-huh jj you really did summarize the fic so far.

this is also where i started being sappy and thinking about love. friendly and romantic love. the love i've seen in my friends, the love i feel myself in my relationships.

There. That’s what his clients taught him. Menchi and Buhara; Morena and Theta; Pokkle and Ponzu; Knov and Morel; Knuckle and Shoot; Canary and Amane. But so many more people showed him what love was. He pictured Pairo and Altair on his couch, laughing at him and judging him and helping him put his own puzzle-piece heart together into something cohesive and beautiful. He smiled at his brothers and saw the way they were clutching each others hands, mouths beaming and eyes dewy.

they LOVE their brother so MUCH. their view of the outside looking in for the past year, watching kurapika fall in love, go soft, be happier than they've ever seen him.

He told them, “It’s in the way you can communicate in gestures and looks, and sometimes, without looking at all. It’s in banter and private jokes and finishing each other’s sentences. It’s in casual touches and... pouring their coffee before your own.”

my coffee is never as good as when my partner makes it. my honey-lemon tea is never as good as it is when my partner makes it. my jokes are never as funny as they are when my partner and i finish each other's sentences, build off of each other's quips. we can communicate across rooms with nothing but a look. these little signs of love are everywhere and expressed in so many tiny ways. these examples here are between people in romantic relationships, but these apply to platonic friendships as well.

His eyes swept the room and found Killua and Gon. Gon had his camera hefted onto one shoulder, and Killua stood behind him, arms around his waist and chin on his shoulder. “It’s on the first day you wake up and realize the way you look at the world has changed. The way you open your hands and your heart and give what you have, simply for the joy of being received.”

to love? transcendent. to be loved? incandescent. to love and know that it is valued and cherished and requited?

and this was a callback to killua talking about, of course, how he fell in love with gon like melting ice. like sinking into a bath. and this was also a quieter callback to how gon fell in love. because it wasn't just that he had/has so much love to give, but because for the first time in his life, he got to see it truly received. accepted.

Kurapika saw Killua’s breath catch and Gon’s hand flex over the fingers interlaced over his middle. Heedless of their surroundings and of the running camera, Gon twisted to kiss Killua on the mouth.

SMOOCHES ahahaha!

He turned his head back to Leorio. The man had not moved; indeed, he looked like he was nailed to the floor. His eyes were so intense as they watched him that Kurapika was almost surprised he had not yet burst into flame. Kurapika said, “It’s in the moment you see someone you’ve never met before, but you look at them and just know, to your core, that this is really going to be something.”

leorio realizing something is happening here. something huge is about to happen, is about to change. and he's trying so hard not to dare to hope it might be good. it might be everything.

A chorus of oohs went around the room. Even from this distance Kurapika saw the way Leorio’s face went red, and he ducked his chin, looking bashful and embarrassed.

leorio: holy shit holy shit holy SHIT IT'S HAPPENINGGGG

How was I such a fool before, Kurapika wondered, How was I so blind, so willfully ignorant and oblivious. How did it take me so long to realize you were talking about me. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I’m sorry I made you wait for so long.

this is important because it's not just kurapika realizing and accepting his feelings for leorio. this is kurapika's version of realizing that leorio feels the same for him. leorio is in love with him, too. and he's wondering how it was possible he was so scared and blind for so long. he fears he may have hurt leorio by holding off on this for so long, so he wants to be brave, take the leap, and see what they could be.

Kurapika did not want this man to wait another second. He did not want Leorio to spend another moment trapped in this limbo. So he confessed in the middle of a silent room in front of over a hundred people, “It's the first time you hear them laugh, and your entire world’s axis shifts beneath your feet.”

i remember the first time i met my partner. i remember the first time i looked at them and felt my world shift a little to the right. i remember falling in love and thinking that this one was unlike all the others. it was warm, golden, comforting.

Kurapika watched the confused frown on Leorio’s face when he heard that, amused by the almost puppyish tilt to his head as he considered it. He knew the moment Leorio realized what he meant when his eyes blew wide, amazed and awed and achingly soft. His lips parted.

gOD he is so CUTE. he's like oh hmm huh what does that mean

and then he remembers

i promise, he's not a huge dickwad!

and leorio laughing at gon's accidental gaffe and his sweet earnestness. and kurapika walking in. leorio realizing kurapika wanted to know him before they ever even met.

Kurapika made himself turn away from the arresting sight. “One of my favorite venues lately was the Roseview Ballroom downtown. Among its many beautiful, gaudy attractions are its murals depicting scenes from Shakespeare’s plays all across the ceiling. One is a famous quote from Twelfth Night: ‘journeys end in lovers meeting, every wise man’s son doth know.’ But the more I think about it, the less I agree.”

i'm such a WHORE for shakespeare, as any readers of mine will know. check out my modern college adaptation of much ado about nothing.

He turned to meet Pairo’s eyes again, repeating, “‘Journeys end in lovers meeting.’ But nothing is ending here. It’s just changing.”

life does not end when we start relationships! or when they end! or when we move, change jobs, graduate, go to school, drop out of school. happy endings in stories still aren't endings. the greatest constant in life is change.

“Because what I’ve learned in this job, Pairo and Altair, what nugget of wisdom I have to give you, is this. Love is looking at a world that can be terrifying, cold, capricious, and indifferent, and finding the person whose hand you want to hold through it all anyway. Because you want every laugh, every tear, every wrinkle, every spark of joy. Love is life’s greatest leap of faith, because you don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But you know exactly who you want to spend all those tomorrows with.”

me finishing this: dammit i just wrote out my wedding vows.

Kurapika looked around the room again. At Gon and Killua; at Kalluto, Nanika, and Alluka; at his parents; at his brothers. At Leorio.

He concluded, “So you simply breathe. And you trust it will be okay.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room when Kurapika dropped the microphone.

DAMN ME TOO THIS SHIT WAS GOOD TF?????? sorry my writing has peaked here.

#jj answers #hxh #loml

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girlboss-molina · 4 years

Text

Be Who You Are (No Compromise)

A Julie and the Phantoms Modern Royalty AU

Chapter 3: A Demonstrative Lesson in Simping

AO3 Link

Words: 12.8k

-----

Alex POV

...

It had been a week, and Alex hadn’t seen Willie since that fateful night when he’d earned the nickname “your royal pancakeness.” It was probably better that way, to be honest. The way Willie moved, everything about him, the energy that surrounded him, it made Alex feel weird and fluttery. If his anxious reading through the random romance novels on the bookshelf in his room, plus his constant googling of “do I have a crush” quizzes (on incognito tabs, obviously; treason wasn’t very high on his bucket list) said anything about his current situation, though, he was royally screwed.

No pun intended.

It didn’t help, either, that every time he thought about the baker’s smile, his long hair, the way his dark eyes crinkled at the edges when he laughed, a shiver ran down Alex’s spine. It was so confusing. How the hell could he have a crush on someone he barely knew?

He dragged a hand down his face, staring at the ceiling. Laying on the floor and questioning his existence had become a daily occurrence, oftentimes - like today - with Luke by his side.

“Emotions are the bane of my existence,” he said plaintively, not bothering to look away from the high ceilings, letting the flecks of dust in the air blend in with the tiny spots in his vision after not blinking for so long. “Like,” he continued, “how is it logical that a couple little zaps to the brain can make your stomach drop, or make your palms sweat, or even a week after something happened, still make you feel cold and warm at the same time?”

He wasn’t sure if the question was meant to be rhetorical, but he was still grateful for Luke’s reply, however unhelpful it may turn out to be.

“Bro, I don’t know,” he agreed. “Like, one minute you’re fine, and the next you’re about to accidentally commit treason.” Alex let out a dry laugh.

“Tell me about it.” A few moments passed, and he blinked, finally letting new moisture clear his vision. “Also, called it.”

“Wh-” Luke started, clearing his throat. “What do you mean, ‘called it?’”

“You like Julie?” Alex assumed, ignoring the swelling bubble of treasonous worry in his stomach. “I might’ve overthought every possible aspect of this, and your comment about accidental treason confirmed what I already thought.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luke drag a hand down his face, heard him groan.

“I barely know her,” he started, “but I’m already so… I don’t even know the word. Intrigued? Infatuated? In-something.” Alex nodded, letting his head smack back down on the carpet. “I’m sorry,” he added.

“Why?”

“I can only imagine how much this must be on your anxiety, and this doesn’t help.”

“It doesn’t, but it’s not the first bit of accidental treason.” His eyes finally flicked away from their spot on the ceiling as Luke bolted upright.

“No way,” he said. “Who?” Alex’s cheeks flushed. Before he could respond, though, Luke spoke again. “Wait, let me get this straight. Well, gay. You’ve liked a guy for an entire week, and you didn’t tell me? This is a betrayal of our friendship!” Alex knew he was being dramatic.

“You say that as if you didn’t do the exact same thing,” he countered. Luke considered that for a moment.

“Whatever. Okay, details.”

“His name’s Willie,” he said. “He’s a baker down at the kitchens behind the grand hall.” Alex saw a huge grin spread on Luke’s face, but couldn’t bring himself to share his friend’s ever-blooming optimism. He sighed. “Do you think there’s a way to go through with the marriage but like, platonically? Like, just tell the people ‘yeah we’re getting married, just not romantically.’ I just think that would work out better for everybody.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Luke said. “Not sure how it would work out, but I agree.”

“On the plus side, being criminals automatically makes us at least 50% cooler.”

“Dude, aren’t you the one with anxiety?”

“I have my moments.”

A familiar knock rang on the door. How, in one week, it had become so familiar, they would never know. But as Alex told Reggie to come in, his infectious smile permeated through the room like the smell of vanilla on a cold day.

“Did I hear something about treason?” he asked excitedly. “Because I am always down. Tell your friends; you need a treason buddy, I’m your guy. But of course, for legal reasons, that’s a joke.” Alex snorted.

Reggie had managed to weasel his way into both his and Luke’s hearts in a matter of days. He was so sweet, so loving, and such a dork, how could he not? Luke’s interactions with Reggie reminded Alex of two best friends who supported each other unconditionally. Alex’s own interactions with the princess’s brother? They were more like bantering siblings who loved each other so much, but were not above toilet-papering the other’s room.

“Well,” Luke began, “the arranged marriage was already a major fuck-up on the council’s decision. We could add in some treason to the mix. Just for funsies.”

“You just want to hang out with Julie, don’t you?” Alex prodded. Luke flushed, and Reggie grinned.

“Called it.”

“Oh come on, you too?”

“Dude,” Reggie said. “I love you, but you’re not exactly subtle.” Luke pouted, and Alex cracked up. “You, on the other hand,” Reggie added, “I’m not sure who your treasonous crush is.”

“A baker named Willie,” Luke interjected before Alex could reply. “And I still haven’t heard the story of how you met, I might add.” Alex groaned.

“I assume there’s no way I’m getting out of this?”

“Not a chance,” Luke and Reggie replied in unison.

This was going to be a disaster.

…

After explaining the details of how he met Willie, and enduring multiple agonizing minutes of Reggie and Luke gushing about an “adorable, treasonous meet-cute,” Alex finally prodded Luke for details about his feelings for Julie.

“Uh, well, it’s not really feelings, plus, I doubt Reggie wants to hear about hypothetical feelings someone might have for his sister.”

“Wrong,” Reggie said. “I want to know everything.” Alex laughed.

“See, I would explain, but the self-defense class starts in a minute-”

“Thirty,” Reggie corrected.

“Like I said, it starts in a minute, so I’d better run.” Without another word, he bolted out the door.

“You can’t keep running from your feelings forever,” Alex called to Luke.

“No, but I can run from you two goons!” Alex and Reggie couldn’t contain their laughter by that point, so they let that simp of a man get out of it for a little while.

…

After hanging out with Reggie in the recording studio, Alex was walking down the corridor behind the great hall, for old time’s (a week ago) sake, pacing back and forth. He didn’t actually know what he would do if someone asked why the prince was pacing the hallway near the kitchens for no apparent reason, but what happened was simultaneously both better and worse, because who would he run into (thankfully not literally this time) but a familiar brown-eyed man with a crooked smile.

“Hey there, your royal pancakeness!” He called, and oh, how Alex wished Willie didn’t have such an endearing smile.

“Hey, Willie!” He ignored the butterflies rising in his stomach. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good! Just got on break. You okay?” He asked, a flicker of concern in his eyes.

“Oh, yeah,” Alex assured him. “Just walking.”

“Cool.”

Alex tried not to stare, but Willie made it impossible. The way he flipped his long hair, the way his dark eyes sparkled with flecks of gold in the light, how his smile lit up every time he spoke. The adorable smudge of flour on his nose didn’t help, either.

“You sure?” Willie asked, the faint flicker of concern right back to the furrow in his eyebrows. “You look a little dazed.”

Yeah, that’s because you’re gorgeous and I already have a crush on you despite only meeting you once.

“Just a little tired, I guess.” The lie was a classic one, and Willie could surely see through the bullshit, but if he did, he didn’t prod.

“Well, make sure you get some sleep tonight. In the meantime, I’m off to skate a little. You wanna come?”

Skating? There was a 100% chance that Alex would fall flat on his ass and humiliate himself. He’d never once been on a skateboard, at least, not since he’d sprained his wrist when he was seven, and his mother had banned all skateboards from the palace. And yet, the adorable look in Willie’s eyes still had Alex saying, “I’d love too.” He mentally kicked himself, but that annoyance was quickly replaced with another swarm of butterflies when Willie’s smile lit up even brighter than before.

“Sick! Follow me.”

…

The skate park wasn’t technically a skate park by any means. It was an actual park, hidden away in the vast garden grounds of Dahlia, and it really said something about the size of the palace grounds that Alex didn’t even know it was there.

Concrete sidewalks lined the perimeter, with swirling roundabouts at the corners, plus unoccupied metal benches and sliding railings that Willie didn’t hesitate to jump over. He even did a move where he jumped and the skateboard did a flip, before landing right back on it, steady as ever. But when Alex watched him let out a whoop and skate quickly around the roundabout as it sloped, not losing his balance once, he was sure Willie was just showing off.

Alex did his best to cool his blushing face as Willie made his way back.

“Want to try?” He asked.

“Oh, no,” he deflected. “I’ve never actually skateboarded before, and I’m pretty sure I’d just look stupid.”

“You’ve never skated before?”

“Not once.” He knew it was technically a lie, because he’d skated once when he was seven but that didn’t really count, but it still wasn’t true and what if Willie found out about the lie and hated him for being dishonest and what if he seemed like a bitch for lying about something so miniscule and-

“Well, there’s an easy way to fix that,” Willie said with a grin, making all of Alex’s previous anxieties melt away. They were, of course, quickly replaced with new ones because cute boy, but still.

Before Alex knew it, Willie was extending his hand and stepping off the skateboard, that beautiful, crooked smile still plastered on his gorgeous face. And then, despite the voice in the back of his head, screaming to play it safe, he listened to the whisper, barely audible, telling him to go for it. So, before he could change his mind, he took Willie’s hand. It was rough and calloused, with a few scars peppered on his fingers, but it was perfect. Slowly, tentatively, he stepped onto the skateboard, and…

Immediately fell flat on his ass. Or, he would have, had Willie not been quicker and run behind him, catching him by the shoulders with a laugh. Alex’s cheeks did their best to catch fire, and he immediately apologized.

“No, bro, you’re good! Just glad I caught you,” Willie said. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied, only just noticing how long Willie’s eyelashes were. He wasn't sure if he imagined it when Willie’s cheeks looked darker the longer he stared. Alex cleared his throat.

“Okay, let’s try this again.” Willie outstretched his hand again, and this time, Alex didn’t hesitate before taking it. He took a deep breath, grounding himself before stepping onto the skateboard, squeezing the other man’s hand and using him for support.

“I did it!” he exclaimed, very excitedly, considering all he’d done was step onto an immobile skateboard. But Willie shared his excitement.

“Hell yeah, dude! Want me to push you so you move?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Understandable, have a nice day.” Alex and Willie stared at each other, deadpan, before bursting out laughing. But, because the universe hated him, Alex fell forwards, right on top of Willie, chests pressed together and noses barely apart.

He tried to move, but he was too caught up in how fucking close they were. Willie had caught himself, leaning backwards but standing, and somehow his arms had gotten wrapped around Alex’s waist, holding him tight. It was clearly just to make sure neither of them fell, but Alex couldn’t shake the feeling in his gut.

Neither of them moved. Alex took a steadying breath, not looking away from Willie’s beautiful eyes. He cursed his stupid heart for fluttering, for suggesting treason because of a guy he’d just met, a guy with eyes so beautiful it should’ve been illegal, a guy with a perfect sense of humor, a guy who was so energetic and kind but also understanding, a guy who was now standing upright and steady, as was Alex, but who was still holding him close, arms wrapped around his waist. A guy who was surely just making sure he was still steady, but who looked at him with such intensity that it made him weak in the knees.

Finally, he cleared his throat and stepped back.

“Sorry, I kinda… Fell.” Willie gave that perfect laugh, and oh, if Alex wasn’t already smitten, he was now.

“Yeah, I caught that. No pun intended.” Alex let out an extremely undignified snort.

“That,” he said through giggles, “was so bad.” When he looked up, Willie’s cheeks were red but he laughed too.

Maybe treasonous feelings weren’t so bad.

…

As he made his way up to his quarters, Alex flopped on his bed, a giddy grin still over his face. His cheeks hurt from smiling, but he just couldn’t stop. Willie was so… he didn’t even have the words. His laugh was like sunshine in the Summer, warm and bright and the source of all life in the world. His eyes were dark but somehow bright as well, and in the light they looked like bowls of honey as they twinkled. Everything about him was so ethereal, and Alex was completely gone on him. Which was, of course, extremely illegal, but he somehow couldn’t bring himself to care.

As Luke walked in, the aroma of shampoo floating with him and giving away the fact that he’d just showered, he heard a laugh.

“How was your date?” Alex didn’t bother denying it.

“He tried to teach me how to skateboard,” he said, eyes dreamy as he remembered the fond look in Willie’s eyes as he’d fallen. “I almost fell but he-”

“No way. Did he catch you?”

“Twice.” Alex laughed when Luke squealed.

“Well, dude, you know it’s your turn to ask him out, right?”

What?

Alex bolted upright. “What do you mean?”

“I know you weren’t the one to ask him out today. That means it’s your turn to find him and ask him out for another little outing.”

“Fuck.” How the hell was he supposed to do that? He couldn’t just keep wandering the halls behind the kitchens, people would get suspicious. But… maybe he could find Willie again at the park. He’d seemed to know it well.

But what if that made him look creepy? That was Willie’s area that he’d brought Alex to, Alex was merely a guest in Willie’s beautiful domain, even if it was part of the palace. He still felt like he would be intruding.

“I’ll let you deal with that,” Luke said with a laugh.

“Yeah. In the meantime, though, how was self-defense?” Luke had a dopey grin as soon as he thought.

“Amazing.”

Alex listened to his best friend ramble on and on about how incredible it was, or rather, she was. Apparently, Julie had been instructed to go early, so Luke wasn’t able to avoid her. But it didn’t matter, because Alex got to hear his lovestruck best friend rant about how badass she was and how incredible their fights were when they sparred.

A knock rang on the door. Alex cleared his throat, standing up. Luke straightened his back. When he shot Alex a look, Alex nodded.

“Come in.” As the handle turned, a pit in Alex’s stomach formed as King Ray Molina stepped through. He scrambled into a bow, as did Luke.

“Your majesty, is everything alright?”

“It’s okay, mijos, there’s no need to bow.” Alex stood straight again. “You are needed in the royal office. Well, technically only Alex, but Luke should come too. And put on something respectable but comfortable. It might be a long night.” With that, Ray left, leaving the two of them there.

A sinking pit in Alex’s stomach told him that something was very, very wrong.

-----

Luke POV

...

Laying on the floor with Alex was a daily occurrence. It truly was the best spot to have a crisis.

“Emotions are the bane of my existence,” Alex declared. Luke had to agree. “Like,” he continued, “how is it logical that a couple little zaps to the brain can make your stomach drop, or make your palms sweat, or even a week after something happened, still make you feel cold and warm at the same time?”

“Bro, I don’t know,” he agreed. “Like, one minute you’re fine, and the next you’re about to accidentally commit treason.” Alex let out a dry laugh.

“Tell me about it.” A few moments passed, and Luke stared at the ceiling. There were small knots in the gently stained wood planks, with no particular rhyme or reason. “Also, called it.”

“Wh-” Luke started, clearing his throat. “What do you mean, ‘called it?’”

“You like Julie?” Alex assumed. Luke fumbled for an answer that wouldn’t be treasonous. “I might’ve overthought every possible aspect of this, and your comment about accidental treason confirmed what I already thought.” Luke dragged a hand down his face and groaned. How obvious was he?

“I barely know her,” he started, “but I’m already so… I don’t even know the word. Intrigued? Infatuated? In-something.” In love, maybe.

“I’m sorry,” he added after a moment.

“Why?”

“I can only imagine how much this must be on your anxiety, and this doesn’t help.” Luke mentally kicked himself for adding another worry onto his best friend’s anxiety.

“It doesn’t, but it’s not the first bit of accidental treason.” Luke took a moment to process that before bolting upright.

“No way,” he said. “Who?” He ignored Alex’s blush. “Wait, let me get this straight. Well, gay. You’ve liked a guy for an entire week, and you didn’t tell me? This is a betrayal of our friendship!” How dare he? That was cruel. Luke could’ve been teasing him for seven fucking days and Alex had the gall to hide it?

The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch.

“You say that as if you didn’t do the exact same thing,” Alex countered. Luke considered that for a moment.

“Whatever. Okay, details.”

…

After hearing the adorable details of Alex’s meet-cute with Willie, Luke had officially decided he would be officiating their wedding. He could already see it. Of course, he didn’t have much time to imagine his best friend’s future husband, because soon Alex and Reggie were giving him shit for his “crush” on Julie, and he hightailed it out of there, deciding to go to self-defense early. He could just sit on the bench and wait, be free of anybody who would make his thoughts race-

But of course he couldn’t, because right there was Julie, walking into the arena.

"Hey Luke!" She called with a wave.

"Hey, Julie, what’s up?” He dearly hoped he wasn't blushing.

“Not much,” she replied. “Just came early because Lady Athena wanted me to show the trainees my upside-down move.” She tightened her ponytail. “Why are you here? The main session doesn’t start for another thirty minutes.” Luke blushed, his stomach flipping. What if she thought he was annoying?

“Oh,” he said with a shy laugh. “Alex and Reggie were giving me shit for… something,” he explained, hoping she didn’t catch his slip, “and I decided to escape.” Julie nodded.

“That’s valid.”

“Julie?” called Lady Athena. “You ready?”

“That's my cue,” she said with a smirk, hopping away and over to stand next to the coach. Luke couldn’t keep his eyes off her. The way she moved was ethereal, like a butterfly given human form.

She began explaining her move to the trainees, who were all looking very confused, which Luke understood. It looked super complicated, and you would need some serious core strength to pull it off. But somehow she did it in slow fucking motion.

He found himself migrating towards Julie’s friends, who thankfully greeted him with a smile.

Whispering introductions between them, he met Flynn (the girl with the braids), Carrie (Flynn’s girlfriend), and Mira (Julie’s lady-in-waiting). And as if Luke didn’t already have a healthy amount of fear and respect for the princess, she happened to surround herself with other badasses.

Flynn had an air of confidence around her. The way she squared her shoulders as she walked made her long, dark braids sway behind her back, and the bold style she always had just added to the effect. Carrie, Flynn’s girlfriend, was proof that some people were born to be royal. Everything Carrie did and wore, no matter how simple - like her current athletic clothes - screamed royalty, even though she wasn’t technically royal. And Mira was kind and confident, but there was an air about her that told Luke, this is a powerful woman. Not that he was surprised; He’d seen her fights against Julie.

But he just couldn’t take his eyes off of Julie. She moved so cleanly, never stumbling no matter how difficult the position must’ve been, and even as she held herself sideways on one arm and spun, she landed with uncanny grace.

“Okay, Julie, why don’t you get some water, and we’ll do the demonstrations with opponents?” Lady Athena’s long ponytail swished as she walked towards her, and Luke blushed when Julie smiled.

“Sounds good.” She spun on her heel, jogging to the group and catching Luke’s eye. He could’ve sworn her cheeks darkened, but then again, that move made for an intense workout.

“Dude, I don’t know how you managed to do that spin in slow motion,” Mira told her. Julie laughed, and Luke had never heard a sound so beautiful.

“Practice and good core strength.” She sat down on the bench, Mira by her side. So he was right; core strength was a necessity.

“Hey, uh, Julie?” asked Luke shyly. She was drinking water, so she hummed a questioning tone. Luke cleared his throat. “Would it be okay if I joined them and tried to learn the move?” he asked, gesturing his head to the group of preparing trainees. Julie put down her water bottle, smirking, and Luke felt his own smile rising, though he was also nervous. He wasn’t sure why.

“Technically, you’re not a trainee.” Oh. That was why. Luke opened his mouth to apologize, before Julie cut him off. “But, you could be one of the demonstrative opponents if you want to,” she offered. “I’m supposed to show how the move works against different fighting styles, and I think a Tamborian fighting style would add some variety.” Luke grinned and nodded, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.

“Sounds good, boss.” That time he did see Julie blush, and couldn’t help but feel proud of himself.

As Julie made her way over to the front of the mats, with Carrie by her side, he sat on the bench next to Mira, enchanted. Before they started their fight, though, Mira elbowed him in the ribs. When he glanced over, she didn’t say anything, but gave him a knowing smirk that made him flush. Was he really that obvious?

“What?”

“You’re not as subtle as you think,” she said. Luke stammered, trying to find an excuse. Mira laughed.

“Don’t worry, dude. I’m not sure if they would exile me for saying this, but you guys would be cute together. Might be illegal, but then again, I’m always down for some treason.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, but he knew he was joking. Evidently, Mira did as well, because she snorted and went back to watching Julie and Carrie.

Luke eagerly did the same, watching as Julie made the first move. Carrie hopped out of the way, striking and giving Julie and opportunity to lean forwards. The princess hopped and landed on her right hand, spinning and tripping Carrie. Luke didn’t pay attention to what she said, but was entranced by how she moved. He vaguely remembered something about a dancer.

“That’s my cue,” Mira told him as Julie finished the round against Carrie. “See you later, lover boy.” Before Luke could come up with a comeback for Julie’s kind but blunt friend, she winked and walked away.

As Julie fought Mira, she mentioned something about a ninja, as well as the way the word “lithe” sounded on her tongue. He watched as she danced around the other girl, twisting and tripping her before winning the fight.

Flynn strutted over to Julie, a confident smirk on her face. She was catlike when she fought, something both Luke and Julie noticed, and he was very proud of himself for thinking of it as she pointed it out.

“However,” Julie said as she made the final spin, pinning Flynn and grabbing her collar, “it turns out, cats don’t always land on their feet.”

Whoa.

Not only was she a complete and utter badass, but she was good at bantering with her friends. Luke wasn’t sure why he loved that so much, but a grin broke out on his face, blushing as he caught Julie’s gaze.

"Next,” Julie said, snapping Luke back to the present, “I'm going to fight with Luke. He's from Tambor, so this will be new." She nodded, and he obeyed, practically floating over to her.

As Julie stepped into fighting position, Luke winked, quite pleased with himself for flustering her, then struck. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to get the upper hand. Julie took advantage of his opportunistic nature, when he left himself vulnerable as he attacked, she struck back with twice the confidence.

Soon, though, he tripped. As he lost his balance, Julie spun upside down and tripped him. Luke’s back hit the ground and he let out a gentle “oof,” but couldn’t recover before Julie was on top of him. Luke was extremely aware of the way her leg pinned his hips down to the mat, the way her shoulders moved as she breathed evenly but quickly, the way her hand curled into a fist as she grabbed his collar and pulled her other arm backwards to finish. He tried to move his arms, but the way she’d positioned her torso made it impossible for him to defend his head from her possible blow. He was completely at the mercy of this girl, trusting her not to strike with finality, but not trusting his own unruly heart to steady as he found himself lost in her eyes.

But then, because the universe hated him, Julie winked. His breath caught in his throat and he flushed bright red.

For a moment, the world seemed to still. Luke was acutely aware of the shine of her dark skin, the single loose curl by her ear, the confident smirk on her face. But just as quickly as it had happened, it was over. Julie got up, extending her arm, which Luke took. Everywhere her hand touched left tingles on his forearm.

“Nice job!” she told him. He rolled his eyes.

“Oh, please, I just got my ass kicked and you didn’t even break a sweat.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I knew you were awesome, but I didn’t know you were a human wrecking ball.” Of course, when Julie blushed, he felt a surge of confidence and accomplishment.

“I- well, I don’t-”

“He’s right,” Carrie insisted. You were awesome.” Luke grinned and nodded, reaching over to high-five her.

“Okay, trainees,” called Lady Athena. “Pair up and spar. If you want, spot the other and try the move. I’ll be hovering to make sure nobody gets hurt.” She clapped her hands with finality, and the trainees did as they were told. “The rest of you,” she added, directed at Luke and the Badasses, “practice while you can. Oh, Julie, I want you to practice with Luke today. See if you can work out some similarities and differences between Dahlian and Tamborian fighting styles.”

Oh.

Fuck.

How the hell was Luke going to survive sparring with Julie multiple times, purely for practice and not staged? He wouldn’t be able to go one minute without completely losing it every time she looked at him.

Luke noticed Carrie, Mira, and Flynn all giving him a look that made him fidget. It turned out he was the opposite of subtle. And as Reggie walked towards them, a knowing smirk on his face as well, Luke knew he was dead. He quickly tried to compose himself.

“Alright, boss,” he said after a moment. “Ready to kick my ass?” Julie laughed, and Luke could’ve listened to that sound for the rest of his life.

“Let’s do it.”

Luke struck first, a playful grin on his face. Julie quickly deflected, twisting his arm and twirling behind him, causing Luke’s heart to flutter. It didn’t last long, though, because then she was shoving the backs of his knees and pinning him as he fell down, kneeling hunched over with her holding his wrists behind his back.

“That’s one for me!” She laughed as he groaned. Way to humiliate yourself, Patterson.

“Damn, and to think I ever thought I was good at hand-to-hand.” Luke took her arm, letting her help him up. An idea formed in his head, a cruel one, but it would work. He had to quickly hide the grin on his face. “Wait, I want to try that spinny move thing.” As Julie stepped back. Luke smirked to himself, hopping forward and purposely falling during the spin. It wasn’t like he needed to try to fall, though; that move was impossible.

“Gah, my wrist!” He feigned injury, but his heart still fluttered as Julie rushed over to him. She cared.

But, he couldn’t play nice. He grinned and quickly took her arm, pulling her down to the ground and flipping on top of her. Luke pinned her shoulders, shooting her a cocky grin, but ignoring the look on her face. It was so soft and surprised, but playful and… he daresay impressed.

“And that’s one for me.”

“That wouldn’t work in a real fight, you know,” she informed Luke as she rolled out from under him. She wasn’t humiliated, as far as he could tell, which was probably a good thing. Humiliating the heiress to the Dahlian throne wasn’t a great idea. But her cheeks were darkened with a blush, and she was certainly flustered. Luke patted himself on the back.

“Oh, I know,” he said calmly. “It’s just fun to annoy you.” He could’ve sworn she blushed even more, but she looked away too quickly for him to confirm.

“Alright, rematch,” she decided, her voice confident. Luke nodded, and Julie hopped into fighting position. Luke did the same, noting how adorable it was as she bounced on the balls of her feet, before striking. She moved quickly and unpredictably, but when Luke dodged a hit to his shoulder and she hopped forward, he knew what was coming. He leaned backwards and, as her legs swept underneath his ankles, he jumped and avoided the killer move.

As he avoided her spin, he noticed Julie trying to recover as quickly as she could, but she stumbled, and Luke quickly took advantage of that. He grabbed her arm, spinning her around almost like a ballroom dance, and then holding her back against his chest, his arm pinning her shoulders. He felt his own heartbeat against her back, her rapid breathing making her shoulder blades prick his stomach.

“I win,” he whispered, a grin on his face- one that was quickly replaced with a look of shock when Julie reached up and grabbed his wrist, leaning forwards and throwing him to the floor upside down. As his back hit the ground, he let out a soft “oof” and didn’t get the chance to move before Julie was on top of him, flattening her body over his to make sure he couldn’t move and pinning his shoulders with her forearm. He knew he’d lost the fight, but currently he was more interested in the quirked eyebrow on her face, the shine of sweat on her forehead, and how very close they were.

“Actually, I win.”

…

Luke stood in the shower, letting the cool water wash over him. He normally took warm showers, even after working out, but today he needed the familiar feeling of cold shivers down his spine. There was something about Julie that made him so warm, like he’d known her his whole life. Julie was like the feeling of a sip of warm cocoa on a winter day, like sunlight peeking over the mountaintops. She was intriguing, so complicated and layered, like a mystery that he desperately wanted to solve. Luke couldn’t piece together just why she had that effect on him, though he had a few ideas.

Quickly drying himself off, he changed into a lightweight guard uniform. It was more of a casual suit than a uniform; the guardsmen dress codes in Dahlia weren’t nearly as strict as they were in Tambor. They were more focused on abilities rather than looking like guards. So long as you looked respectable, that was enough.

The cool fabric of the white dress shirt felt good against his skin, and the heather grey vest was a light pressure, keeping him secure. The matching jacket was tailored to a slim fit, but, given that he was a guard, there were also sheaths built into the inside, with simple but deadly daggers within them.

If he was being honest, Luke hated carrying weapons. He felt cool, sure, but he still hated it. No matter how well they were hidden - and well hidden they were; not even the outlines were visible from the outside - he always knew they were there. That, even though they should be safe, there was always a possibility. A possibility that he might end up using one of the cruel blades strapped to his chest.

…

When he walked into Alex’s room from his quarters across the hall, his best friend was sprawled out on his bed, a dopey grin spread across his face. Luke immediately knew he’d been with Willie.

“How was your date?”

“He tried to teach me how to skateboard,” he said. Luke grinned to himself. That was the cutest thing ever. “I almost fell but he-” Luke gasped, knowing his best friend’s disaster-gay-levels well enough to know where this was going.

“No way. Did he catch you?”

“Twice.” Luke squealed, bringing his hands to his cheeks. Alex was getting a classic boyfriend meet-cute and pining stage. It was like something out of a romance novel.

“Well, dude, you know it’s your turn to ask him out, right?” Luke laughed, practically feeling Alex’s nervousness, which was confirmed when Alex bolted upright.

“What do you mean?” Luke snorted. Dumbass.

“I know you weren’t the one to ask him out today. That means it’s your turn to find him and ask him out for another little outing.”

“Fuck.” Luke could see the thoughts running a million miles an hour in his friend’s head, and soon he would be spiraling into gay panic and anxiety.

“I’ll let you deal with that,” Luke said with a laugh.

“Yeah. In the meantime, though, how was self-defense?” Luke didn’t bother hiding the huge grin that spread across his face as he remembered his time with Julie.

“Amazing. I got there early since you and Reggie were being assholes-”

“Love you too.”

“-But it turned out she was there early as well. Well, her and her friends. She has this super badass move where she jumps and lands on one fucking hand and spins twice, tripping you backwards and then pinning you, and she was teaching it to the trainees. Holy fuck, Alex, I don’t know how she does it. And she did it in slow motion!” He raked a hand through his hair. “She was going to demonstrate the move in fights with Mira, Flynn, and Carrie, and I asked if I could join the trainees to learn the move, because of course I did, and then she said that I ‘technically wasn’t a trainee,’ but then offered to let me be one of the demonstrative opponents.”

“And I’m guessing that went well?”

“Yeah,” he said with a grin. “And then, when the trainees were practicing, Lady Athena paired us for the rest of the session, so I got to spar with her.”

“Oooooh!” Luke gave a light punch in mock offense, but he was still glowing.

“Bro, she’s amazing.”

“I can see that.” Luke ignored the shit-eating grin on Alex’s face.

A knock rang on the door, and Luke straightened, looking at Alex as he stood up.

“Come in.” When King Ray walked in, Luke hastily bowed.

“Your majesty, is everything alright?” Alex asked.

“It’s okay, mijos, there’s no need to bow. You are needed in the royal office. Well, technically only Alex, but Luke should come too.” Luke nodded as Ray looked at him. “And put on something respectable but comfortable. It might be a long night.” With that, Ray left, leaving the two of them there.

Something was wrong.

-----

Reggie POV

...

Suit vest long abandoned, sleeves messily rolled up, Reggie fiddled with the stim toy in his pocket, humming to himself as he wandered the long expanse of the Dahlian palace gardens, letting the different scents envelop him. Sometimes this would’ve pushed him into sensory overload, with all of the overlapping smells from the flowers, the sound of chirping birds, bright sunlight, breeze and stim toy, but today it just felt right. He hummed a familiar melody to himself, trying to place it as he wandered, spinning around and occasionally dancing with his steps.

His lips moved to words before he knew it, and he was finally able to place the song: Wake Up. Julie had written it with Rose before she passed away. A sad smile quirked the corners of her mouth. It had been a few years since it happened, but a pang of grief still struck Reggie’s heart. He’d lived at the palace since he was nine, and Rose had become like a mother to him. For seven years she’d raised him like one of her own, a kind, gentle woman. She was the one who taught him to play the bass, too.

Reggie missed her. But Julie looked just like her, and she was so strong, his chest still swelled with pride every time he looked at her. And her voice, her music, it was like Rose in every way, and yet so uniquely Julie.

The lyrics to Wake Up were so inspirational that, even when humming to himself in the gardens, they still brought the familiar prickle of tears to his eyes.

Better wake those demons // Just look them in the eye // No reason not to try

Those lines in particular were the most powerful to him. They were the lines that helped him confront his grief after Rose had passed away, and the ones that made his heart grow and ache every time Julie sang them.

Reggie sighed, letting the memory of Rose wash over him, both melancholy and bright. Every step was filled with happiness and longing, but he knew that if it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t be the person he was today. He might’ve still lived in the palace with Julie, sure; it was Ray who had found him and taken him in. But Rose had guided his love for music with Julie.

As he danced around the garden, a strong breeze whipped his hair. He noticed something flying towards him - a leaf, probably. But as he saw it flutter against the wind, he realized that it was a butterfly.

Without thinking, he reached up, letting the butterfly stop against his palm. He shielded it from the wind with his other hand, letting it regain its balance. He giggled as it crawled across his finger, the faint tickling sensation like dandelion wisps on his nose in the Summer. Then, the butterfly took flight against the wind, this time able to push back and fly.

…

Reggie, after finding his suit vest draped across a rosebush, wandered through the corridor to Alex’s room. He, Alex, and Luke had become close friends in the past week. Something about the three of them just clicked.

He knocked on the door in a rhythmic pattern that matched with the song stuck in his head, sauntering in, the word treason filling his ears. A grin spread across his face; he knew exactly what the treason was.

“Well,” Luke began, “the arranged marriage was already a major fuck-up on the council’s decision. We could add in some treason to the mix. Just for funsies.” Reggie nodded. He might’ve been seen as a goody-two-shoes to some people, but he wasn’t opposed to breaking some rules.

“You just want to hang out with Julie, don’t you?” Alex asked. Luke flushed, and Reggie grinned.

“Called it,” he said.

“Oh come on, you too?”

“Dude,” Reggie began. “I love you, but you’re not exactly subtle.” Luke pouted, and Alex cracked up. “You, on the other hand,” Reggie added, “I’m not sure who your treasonous crush is.” He knew Alex was gay, but there weren’t any guys he knew of that he would like.

“A baker named Willie,” Luke interjected before Alex could reply. “And I still haven’t heard the story of how you met, I might add.” Alex groaned, and Reggie clapped. A baker. That was so cliche, but so adorable. He could already see the wedding.

“I assume there’s no way I’m getting out of this?”

“Not a chance,” Luke and Reggie replied in unison, and Reggie high-fived him without looking. Alex groaned.

“So, you remember the feast the night I got here? I was kinda overwhelmed so I stepped out the back door, and this guy just fuckin… Ran me over.” Reggie laughed.

“He pancaked you!”

“Exactly that. Anyway, that happened and I kinda froze because he was really cute. And eventually we were just… Chatting. And I can’t fucking get him out of my mind and now I’m royally fucked because this is treason.”

“Well, like I said, I’m always down for a little treason,” Reggie repeated. “And might I add, that is adorable!!!”

“I know, right?” Luke asked, grinning at Reggie. He nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s an adorable, treasonous meet-cute!!! I swear, this is like something out of a romance novel.”

“That’s what I thought!!!”

“You two are the worst,” Alex informed them.

“You love us,” Reggie said with a grin.

“Unfortunately.”

“Now, Luke. What’s this I hear about some more treasonous feelings for a certain Princess Julie Molina?” Reggie poked his friend in the ribs, laughing when his blush went all the way to his ears.

“Uh, well, it’s not really feelings, plus, I doubt Reggie wants to hear about hypothetical feelings someone might have for his sister.”

“Wrong,” Reggie said. “I want to know everything.” There was no way he was getting away with crushing on his sister without Reggie doing some well-meaning meddling. He didn’t mind that Luke liked Julie, of course. He was a nice guy, and Julie clearly liked him as well. But, Luke was also one of his best friends, and therefore required to spill.

“See, I would explain, but the self-defense class starts in a minute-”

“Thirty,” Reggie corrected.

“Like I said, it starts in a minute, so I’d better run.” Without another word, he bolted out the door.

“You can’t keep running from your feelings forever,” Alex called to Luke.

“No, but I can run from you two goons!” Reggie cracked up, along with Alex.

“Simp,” Reggie declared.

“Definitely.”

“Hey, you mentioned you play drums, right?”

“Yeah,” Alex said with a smile. “And you play… bass?”

“Yep! There’s a recording studio in the basement, you want to go play?”

“I’d love to! Luke keeps getting on my case because I tap on the desk when I’m working through sim files.” Reggie nodded. It was understandable for him as well; even though he wasn’t a drummer, he had ADHD, and sim files were such a pain. They were cool, sure; they were files in which you developed a country similar to Dahlia, and there were social issues, economic questions, political queries, all of which would affect how your practice country developed, even with the details of foreign relations. Reggie wasn’t bad at them, per se, but it was probably a good thing that he wasn’t becoming king. He always got distracted, and while he was quite good at it, especially diplomacy, it just wasn’t what he wanted to do. And it wasn’t a matter of ADHD, either. Julie had ADD. She was just better at it, maybe because she’d been raised for it since birth, and Reggie had lived here for a considerably short time compared to her.

His most recent sim file was on economic development, concerning poverty, disproportionate wealth, and tax rates. Dahlian wealth was relatively evenly distributed; much better than some countries. But he just didn’t like the way the sim files were set up.

…

“Dude, this is sick!” Alex’s enthusiasm was practically tangible, and Reggie smiled.

“I know, right? Just be careful not to touch the handshake prank things on the shelf,” he added, pointing to a small stash. “They’re Carlos’s. One time he added some static electricity and zapped me, and it felt just like the time I was fixing my amp in the rain.”

“You shouldn’t… Okay.”

“Anyway, how do you like the drums?” Alex played a rhythm on the bass, snare, and hi-hat, grinning.

“They’re awesome,” he decided. “In a lot better shape than my set back in Tambor. I’ve had them since I was seven, and they’re pretty beat-up.”

“Oof,” Reggie said. “These are a bit old, but none of us are any good at playing, so they’re just like new!”

Reggie hopped across the room to grab his bass, strapping it around his shoulders and playing a riff. It started with a slide down the A string, and when he began adding more notes, Alex joined in with a rhythm. Reggie gasped.

“Alex, that sounds perfect!” When Alex gave him a confused look, Reggie realized he hadn’t given context. “Julie and I have been writing a song called Icarus, and trying to learn the drums to add in a beat, but that riff I was playing was the baseline for it, right? That beat you were just playing sounded perfect. Dude, we gotta get Jules in here later. She’s gonna be pumped.” Alex grinned.

“That sounds awesome, dude! What’s the song like?”

“It’s pretty upbeat,” Reggie started. “It’s got a sort of inspirational vibe to it. The guitar we’re trying to add has kind of a rock and roll sound, but not metal. I’m trying to figure out how to play it, but I always strum wrong since I’m so used to bass.” He laughed, remembering how he’d tried to strum with the outside of his index finger.

“No way,” Alex said. Reggie gave him a confused look. “Luke plays guitar. He’s insane at it, too. What if the four of us played it? You on the bass, me on drums, Luke on guitar, and Julie on piano and vocals?”

“And you, Luke and I could be backup vocals! Alex, you’re a genius. We’ll be Julie’s Beyonce girls.”

“Yeah, okay.” Reggie grinned. This would be perfect. He just needed to get Julie and Julie’s Future Treasonous Boyfriend (Luke) to join them in the studio later.

…

Self-defense was interesting to say the least. Reggie had the honor of watching his little sister teach a bunch of nervous trainees a move that, if he was being honest, was impossible to do for anybody but Julie. He only caught the last demonstrative round, though, which proved to be just as entertaining as watching her whole teaching session would be.

Why? Well, because she was sparring with Luke. The tension was tangible as they ducked and dodged and struck, and as Julie ended up on top of him, his collar in her fist, a confident smirk on her face, Reggie grinned to himself at how oblivious they both were. They oozed chemistry.

He approached as Lady Athena instructed the trainees to pair up and practice, and luckily caught the flustered and excited look on both Luke’s and Julie’s faces when Lady Athena paired them for sparring. He shot a knowing look at them as he paired with Mira to spar.

They made idle conversation as they practiced, occasionally interrupted by a quick “duck” as the other sent a strike their way.

“Did you know your sister was this oblivious?” Mira asked him. Reggie laughed.

“Nope, though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. She has a habit of ignoring things she doesn’t like, which probably includes treasonous emotions.” Mira laughed, and Reggie took advantage of it, flipping her over and pinning her, winning the match, laughing as she rolled her eyes but took his hand, pulling her up.

“Believe me, I know,” Mira said. “She once got a sim file from a nearby sim country in her foreign relations packet that was questioning the ethics of her country on LGBTQ matters, and she just ignored it because it annoyed her.” Reggie snorted. That did sound like Julie.

Twisting around Mira’s next attack, but quickly regretting it as she hooked her ankle around his knee, knocking him over and winning, Reggie wondered if he could somehow set them up.

“Hey, Mira?”

“Mhm?”

“You know how one of your jobs as Julie’s lady-in-waiting is to help arrange her outfits?” Mira nodded, a smirk growing on her face.

“Say no more.” Reggie grinned. Reggie was his name, and meddling was his game.

…

Reggie was working on a new riff for the bridge of Icarus when someone knocked on his door.

“Come in,” he called, still bent over his notebook, scrawling down notes as he hummed.

“Hey, mijo?” Reggie whirled around to see Ray. He smiled.

“Hi Ray! Everything okay?”

“Not exactly, but I’ll explain that later. We need you in the royal office. I’ve already been to see Julie, Luke, and Alex, they’re coming as well. Just… It might be a long night, so put on something respectable but comfortable.”

“Okay,” Reggie agreed, concerned. “Did something happen?” Ray bit his lip nervously and nodded, walking away without another word.

-----

Willie POV

...

“Hey, Alyssa, how’s that dough looking?” Willie asked from across the kitchen, where he was gathering ingredients for the Hawaiian style shredded chicken.

“Almost done rising,” she called back. “Probably needs about five more minutes.”

“Awesome, thanks!”

“Yep!”

Willie gathered the ingredients in his arms, doing his best not to poke his eye out with the leaves of the pineapple. As he reached his counter, he set down the huge fruit, spreading out the other ingredients, many of them spices. He grabbed a knife from the block behind him, chopping the leaves off of the pineapple, then spinning it as he scalped the rough, pointy skin off as well. He chopped the rest into small pieces and brought them to Alyssa, who was in front of a large slow cooker with chicken inside. He set the bowl down on the counter, nodding from her thanks and running back to the dough, separating and rolling it to create rolls, sticking them in the oven.

“Willie, why don’t you go on break,” Lilian suggested. Willie jumped; Lilian walked silently, and she’d appeared right behind him.

“You’ve been working really hard today,” she added. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good! Thanks.” It was the truth, he was fine. But he was working extra hard today because, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep Alex off his mind. He always worked best when he had something else to think about; the actions practically did themselves. He hadn’t even realized how much he was doing.

“I think I’ll take you up on that break,” he decided. “Be back in an hour or so?” Lilian nodded, patting his shoulder.

“Relax, child.”

“Who are you calling ‘child?’” he asked. “You’re only twenty-five.”

“And you’re nineteen. You’re a child.” Willie rolled his eyes but laughed.

“See you later!”

…

As he ran out the door, leaving his apron swinging on a hook, who would he see but Alex? A grin broke out on his face and, despite his better judgement, he called out to him (after he’d settled his blush, of course).

“Hey there, your royal pancakeness!” He called, butterflies rising in his stomach as Alex looked his way.

“Hey, Willie! How’s it going?”

“Pretty good! Just got on break. You okay?” He asked, noticing the nervousness in Alex’s (beautiful) eyes.

“Oh, yeah,” Alex assured him. “Just walking.”

“Cool.” He fixed his hair, flipping it away from his shoulders. “You sure? You look a little dazed.”

I am too, but that’s just because you’re adorable.

“Just a little tired, I guess.” The lie was a classic one, and Willie saw right through it. He could tell that Alex didn’t want to talk about it, though so he left it alone. He always hated having people up in his business.

“Well, make sure you get some sleep tonight,” he told him. “In the meantime, I’m off to skate a little. You wanna come?”

Willie wasn’t sure if Alex would say yes, no, or just walk away laughing. Skateboarding wasn’t something you would expect a prince to do.

But then, Alex replied, “I’d love to,” and Willie’s grin stretched even wider, dearly hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.

“Sick! Follow me.”

He led Alex down the back of the corridor, thankful that Alex was behind him, because that meant he could let his gay panic show on his face without letting the person causing it know. His long hair blocked his jaw from view, as well, so he was confident that Alex was oblivious to the fact that Willie was currently aggressively mouthing cute boy cute boy cute boy.

Willie took Alex’s hand, grinning when Alex smiled. He brought him out the back door, into the streaming sunlight and to the park in the gardens. Hardly anybody knew of its existence, which was just how Willie liked it. He’d been given permission to skate there, and never once had he seen another person there. Bringing Alex there felt strange, but right. This had become Willie’s area, where he would go to get away from people when he needed to, and now he was letting Alex in. He wasn’t quite sure what compelled him to do it, but he was glad he did.

Willie shot him a glance, getting on the skateboard and flying down the sidewalks, jumping over metal rails and benches. He did a quick kickflip after he landed, skating back around the roundabout, his grin wide as ever as he made his way back to Alex.

“Want to try?”

“Oh, no,” Alex replied, “I’ve never actually skateboarded before, and I’m pretty sure I’d just look stupid.”

“You’ve never skated before?” Willie’s eyebrows knit together. He wasn’t necessarily surprised, given that Alex was a prince, but still, every boy he’d ever met had skateboarded.

“Not once.”

“Well, there’s an easy way to fix that,” Willie said with a grin, extending his hand as he stepped off the skateboard. His heart fluttered as Alex reluctantly took it, his hand cold but soft as he held on, stepping on.

But before he could say anything, Alex was stepping onto it lopsidedly, and Willie instinctively ran around behind him, his hands bracing Alex’s shoulders as he fell. Willie had rather large hands, and as his thumbs stretched to his back, he felt Alex’s racing heartbeat. He knew it was because he’d almost fallen off of a skateboard, but he couldn’t help but grin.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” Alex said. “I-

“No, bro, you’re good! Just glad I caught you,” Willie said. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied, and Willie tried (and failed) to calm his blush. He noticed a few freckles across Alex’s nose, barely there, like stars in the sky just after sunset.

“Okay, let’s try this again.” Willie outstretched his hand again, and grinned when Alex took it, stepping on steadily, squeezing his hand.

He liked this, holding hands with Alex. He could imagine doing this every day, casual affection, maybe playing with his hair-

No. He shoved those thoughts out of his head. Alex was in an arranged marriage. To get in the way of that would be treason. Plus, Willie didn’t even know if Alex liked guys.

“I did it!” Alex exclaimed, a grin on his face as he stood on the skateboard. Willie broke out into a huge smile, his chest swelling with pride. Alex was a nerd, but he was his nerd.

“Hell yeah, dude! Want me to push you so you move?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Understandable, have a nice day.” Willie and Alex both cracked up, tears in his eyes. But he heard wobbling, and soon he was catching Alex right in front of him as he fell. Willie leaned back, stopping himself from falling on his back, but the main thing on his mind was how close he and Alex were. Their chests were pressed together, and Willie could barely tell whose racing heartbeat was his. He was close enough to count Alex’s long eyelashes, close enough to...

It was a nice thought, but it would never happen.

Willie’s arms were wrapped around Alex’s waist, holding him steady as he stood up straighter, but not letting go. He held his gaze, steadying his breath, lost in Alex’s eyes. They were a mixture of blue, green, and grey, light but mysterious and beautiful, like frost on a garden, twinkling in moonlight. Without meaning to, his eyes flicked to Alex’s lips for a split second, and Willie could’ve sworn Alex’s did the same.

Finally, Alex cleared his throat and stepped back. Willie wasn’t surprised, but he was disappointed. He liked holding Alex like that.

“Sorry, I kinda… Fell.” Willie cracked up at the bluntness.

“Yeah, I caught that. No pun intended.” He hated himself for the pun, but all of the hate was replaced with love when Alex let out a snort.

“That,” he said through giggles, “was so bad.” Willie blushed but laughed too, caught up in the mirth in Alex's eyes. He looked so young, laughing like this, free and happy. And when he’d finally composed himself, his cheeks were rosy from laughter, small lines around his eyes.

It was official: Willie was smitten.

-----

Julie POV

...

Julie groaned.

It had been an entire week, and all of her interactions with Luke were minimal and cordial, but there was something in his eyes that she couldn’t shake. Every time he bowed, his eyes would flick up to meet hers, every time he smiled, they would crinkle and smile with his lips. Julie couldn’t get rid of these stupid feelings, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times she told herself that she was literally about to commit treason every time she was tempted to act.

“That’s the fourth time you’ve groaned in the past ten minutes,” Flynn pointed out. “Care to tell us what’s going on?”

“Jules, we know something’s wrong. You can try to hide it all you want, but that won’t change it.” Carrie examined her perfect nails, which were painted gold and shimmered in the light.

“I don’t know,” she lied. Flynn and Carrie shared a look.

“Alright, what’s his name?” Julie bolted upright from her spot on her bed, flushed.

“What do you mean?” Her two friends shared another look and laughed.

“You’re a horrible liar,” Carrie told her, “you know that?” Julie groaned a fifth time.

“So I’ll ask again,” Flynn decided. “What’s his name?” When Julie stayed silent, she added, “dude. You know that if anyone’s down for a little treason, it’s us.” She wasn’t wrong, and Julie knew that. Flynn was ride-or-die, Carrie too. Neither of them would hesitate before committing war crimes if it meant helping Julie, and she didn’t take that for granted. She was still emotional about it, though.

“You know Alex’s guard, Luke?”

“The one who was showering you in compliments at self-defense last week?” Flynn asked, a shit-eating grin on her face.

“He complimented me once, Flynn.”

“Tell yourself whatever you need to.”

“I think I will.”

Carrie snorted. “Jules, you clearly like him. Make a move!”

“Carrie,” Julie said calmly. “I say this with love. Are you out of your mind?”

“I mean, probably.” Flynn cracked up and Carrie’s perfect face had a smug little smile that pissed Julie off. She flopped back down.

“This whole thing sucks.”

“You’re not wrong,” Flynn agreed, though she still had a grin on her face. “You know what would help?”

“Treason?” Carrie suggested.

“Nope! Well, yes, but I was going to say getting ready for self-defense. Lady Athena wanted us to go early today, remember?”

Unfortunately, Julie did remember, and she was dreading it. Lady Athena had asked if she could practice her upside-down move some more, and then show it to the training guards, plus a demonstrative spar with each of the other three girls to show how to use it against different fighting styles.

Before she could respond, Mira walked in, piles of fabric in her arms.

“Who’s ready to go?” She asked enthusiastically. “I just had these tailored,” she said, putting down the fabric, which turned out to be matching athletic clothes. Soft, high-waisted capris leggings, with matching tops that were slim-fitting and cropped at the ribs. The halter neckline was gentle and hemmed, nothing fancy or tied.

“They should be nice and cool so you don’t get too sweaty,” Mira explained, “and they’re form-fitting to make movement easier.” She handed a set to Julie, violet in color. Carrie’s was hot pink, and Flynn’s was jade green. Mira wore a sky blue set.

“Mira, have I mentioned that you’re the best lady-in-waiting ever?” Julie asked, a huge grin spreading on her face.

“Not in the last five minutes.”

…

As she walked into the training arena, flanked by Flynn, Mira, and Carrie, Julie pulled her hair into a ponytail, giving Lady Athena a grin.

“Alright, ready to show these guys how it’s done?” she asked confidently, her bronze skin shimmering in the light. Julie nodded. Lady Athena patted Julie’s shoulder and turned back to the group of about twenty young people, ranging from about thirteen to twenty, of all genders. She scanned the eyes, recognizing some of them from her previous self-defense classes, before she stopped on a pair of hazel ones.

Luke wasn’t with the group of trainees, rather standing on the sidelines. Without thinking, Julie approached him.

“Hey Luke!” His cheeks flushed.

“Hey, Julie, what’s up?”

“Not much,” she replied. “Just came early because Lady Athena wanted me to show the trainees my upside-down move.” She fidgeted, tightening her ponytail. “Why are you here? The main session doesn’t start for another thirty minutes.”

“Oh,” he said with a shy laugh. “Alex and Reggie were giving me shit for… something, and I decided to escape.” Julie caught his slip, but didn’t say anything.

“That’s valid.”

“Julie?” Called Lady Athena. “You ready?”

“That’s my cue,” she said, hopping away and over to stand next to the coach. Her eyes travelled to Flynn, Carrie, and Mira, who were standing behind the eager trainees, all giving her The Look and glancing at Luke. Julie gave them a quick death stare, before going back to smiling at the trainees.

“Okay, everyone,” Lady Athena called, quieting the chatter amongst the group. “Princess Julie is here to show us a new move she came up with. We haven’t come up for it yet, have we?”

“No, not yet,” Julie responded. “But I’m working on it. Oh, and you can all call me Julie.”

“Right. So, Julie here is going to demonstrate the move, first on her own, then with a few other people she’s brought, to show how it works against different fighting styles. Julie?”

“Okay,” she said, clapping her hands nervously. “So, the first thing is knowing when to do it. You generally do it when your opponent has you in a position where you have to lean forward.” She demonstrated, bending a bit forward. “Then, you jump, land on your hand - and it’s important that it’s the hand that matches the direction you’re facing. If you lean forward to the right, your opponent’s left, you jump on your right hand, and vice versa. Then, you spin by using momentum in your hips. This is mostly to distract them. Then, after the initial spin, you spin again, but rather than upright, you bend your elbow, lean like this-” she went through the previous moves then leaned to the side, putting down her leg to hold herself in the same position- “and spin, swinging your legs behind your opponent’s ankles to trip them backwards.” She demonstrated that bit as well, as slow as she could while still doing it correctly. “Then once they’re down, you use your spinning momentum to get on top of them and finish the fight.”

As she stood back up, she noted the confused or scared looks on the trainees’ faces, as well as an approving smile from Lady Athena and silent applause from Flynn, Mira, and Carrie- and Luke. At some point during her demonstration, he’d made his way over to her friends, and they were quietly chatting as she moved.

“That looks really hard,” one of the trainees piped up, “but super badass.” If there was a way to verbally keysmash, Julie did it.

“Thanks so much!!! Though I should tell you, the first time I did it was completely by accident, and I sprained my wrist doing the initial spin. Afterwards, the only reason I tried it again was because Flynn bet me I couldn’t.” She shot a glance at her best friend, and her smirk and nod make her laugh. “But eventually,” she continued, “Lady Athena saw me trying to do it and gave me some tips, and one thing led to another, and here we are.”

After a few moments of stunned silence, Lady Athena spoke.

“Okay, Julie, why don’t you get some water, and we’ll do the demonstrations with opponents?”

“Sounds good.” She spun on her heel, jogging over to her friends, ignoring the butterflies as she caught Luke’s eye.

“Dude, I don’t know how you managed to do that spin in slow motion,” Mira told her. Julie laughed.

“Practice and good core strength.” She sat down on the bench, Mira by her side.

“Hey, uh, Julie?” asked Luke. She was guzzling water, so she hummed a questioning tone. “Would it be okay if I joined them and tried to learn the move?” he asked, gesturing his head to the group of preparing trainees. Julie put down her water bottle, smirking, a sudden bubble of confidence welling up inside her.

“Technically, you’re not a trainee. But, you could be one of the demonstrative opponents if you want to,” she offered. “I’m supposed to show how the move works against different fighting styles, and I think a Tamborian fighting style would add some variety,” she reasoned, ignoring Carrie’s eyebrow wiggle from behind Luke.

His cheeks flushed, but he nodded with a grin.

“Sounds good, boss.” Julie flushed at the nickname.

…

As she sparred with Carrie, she spoke between her moves.

"See, Carrie fights like a dancer. She's graceful and quick-" she dodged a blow from the girl, taking the opportunity to jump on her hand and twist, spinning and quickly tripping Carrie- "but not quick enough. No opponent is going to expect you to pull a breakdancing move on them." As she got on top of Carrie, pressing her elbow across her shoulders and pinning her down, a grin spread across her face.

Julie got up and extended her hand to Carrie, who took her forearm and Julie took hers, pulling her up.

Mira was up next. She jumped into a fighting position, her flaming red hair swinging behind her. Julie smirked, making the first blow.

"Mira, on the other hand, fights like a ninja. She's lithe and graceful, but deadly." Julie leaned forward, spinning on her hand and tripping Mira, quickly pouncing over her to win, before helping her up again. Next, Flynn.

Flynn made the first move, striking near Julie's shoulder, she bolted out of the way, turning to strike back.

"Flynn is catlike when she fights," Julie explained, dodging another blow. "She's light on her feet and quick, with amazing reflexes. However-" she jumped and spun on her hand, tripping Flynn and ending the fight- "it turns out, cats don't always land on their feet." She shot Flynn a wink.

She glanced at Luke, whose cheeks were bright red, but he had a confident smile on his face. Julie grinned.

"Next I'm going to fight with Luke. He's from Tambor, so this will be new." She gestured with a quick nod for him to come over.

As Julie stepped into fighting position, Luke winked. Julie ignored the butterflies in her stomach, overwhelmed with confidence as Luke struck. She dodged and blocked, striking back any chance she had.

Luke was surprisingly competent, but very opportunistic, which Julie took advantage of. As he lost his balance, she spun upside down and tripped him, quickly using her momentum to get on top of him, pinning his hips with her leg. She grabbed his collar and pulled her fist back in a final move, but froze. It was just training, after all.

Now it was Julie's turn to wink, which seemed to fluster Luke even more.

They stayed like that for a few seconds before Julie got up, outstretching her hand to Luke. He took her forearm and she took his, pulling him up.

“Nice job!” she told him.

“Oh, please, I just got my ass kicked and you didn’t even break a sweat.” Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “I knew you were awesome, but I didn’t know you were a human wrecking ball.” Julie flushed, stammering.

“I- well, I don’t-”

“He’s right,” Carrie insisted. You were awesome.” And God, Julie wished Luke hadn’t grinned at Carrie’s agreement, because he had the cutest eyes ever. Honestly, it should’ve been illegal. Her first order of business when she was crowned queen would be to make it illegal to fluster her.

“Okay, trainees,” called Lady Athena. “Pair up and spar. If you want, spot the other and try the move. I’ll be hovering to make sure nobody gets hurt.” She clapped her hands with finality, and the trainees did as they were told. “The rest of you,” she added, directed at Julie and her group, “practice while you can. Oh, Julie, I want you to practice with Luke today. See if you can work out some similarities and differences between Dahlian and Tamborian fighting styles.”

Julie nodded, ignoring the way her heart pounded, ignoring how Luke started fidgeting, and especially ignoring the incredibly annoying looks from Mira, Flynn, Carrie, and Reggie, who had just popped in to join.

Digest those butterflies, Molina. D i g e s t t h e m.

“Alright, boss,” Luke said after a moment. “Ready to kick my ass?” Julie laughed.

“Let’s do it.”

Luke struck first, a playful grin on his face. Julie quickly deflected, twisting his arm and twirling behind him, gently (since it was training, and he was cute) shoving the backs of his knees and pinning him as he fell down, kneeling hunched over with Julie holding his wrists behind his back.

“That’s one for me!” She laughed as he groaned.

“Damn, and to think I ever thought I was good at hand-to-hand,” he said with a grin. Julie blushed and helped him up. “Wait, I want to try that spinny move thing.” Julie stepped back, letting Luke jump onto his hand, but as soon as he spun, he fell.

“Gah, my wrist!” Julie rushed over to where Luke was now sitting, reaching out to help him-

Then, that little shit grinned and grabbed her arm, pulling her down and spinning on top of her, pinning her shoulders.

He shot her a cocky grin. “And that’s one for me.” Julie rolled her eyes, hating the way her heart was fluttering.

“That wouldn’t work in a real fight, you know.” She rolled out from under him, fixing her hair.

“Oh, I know,” he said in a relaxed manner. “It’s just fun to annoy you.” Julie’s stupid heart fluttered again, and she looked away, sure her face was on fire.

“Alright, rematch.” Luke nodded, and Julie hopped into fighting position. Luke did the same, and Julie didn’t hesitate to strike. She moved quickly, remembering her forms and the movements that Lady Athena had drilled into her since she could walk. She spun, aiming for Luke’s shoulder. When he leaned to the side to dodge, she jumped onto her hand, twirling and tripping him-

Or, she tried to.

Luke had completely jumped over her legs, anticipating the move. She really shouldn’t have been surprised, but it caught her off guard. She tried to recompose herself, but Luke was quicker than he looked, and had grabbed her arm, spinning her with her back against his chest and his forearm across her shoulders, pressing tight enough to prove that he’d won, but not as hard as he would’ve if it were a real fight. If it had been real, his arm would’ve been over her throat, anyways. Julie could feel his heartbeat between her shoulder blades, and it sent a shiver down her spine.

“I win,” he said softly, but Julie could hear the shit-eating grin behind the words. She smirked to herself. No way was she going down that easy.

Before Luke could move, she reached with her arm and grabbed his wrist from its place near her collarbone, bending forwards and throwing him over her shoulder. As his back hit the ground, she spun, pressing her forearm against his shoulders and flattening herself over him so he couldn’t move.

“Actually, I win.”

…

“Okay,” Flynn said after everyone had changed and gathered back in Julie’s room. “If you can’t tell by now that Luke is in love with you, I don’t know what else to do.”

“Flynn. He’s not in love with me, nor am I in love with him.” Flynn, Carrie, and Mira all shared a look and laughed. But before Julie could respond, a knock echoed on her door.

“Come in.” Julie smiled as her dad walked into her room. “Hey dad! Everything okay?” she asked when she noticed the crease between his eyebrows.

“Not exactly.”

“Uh oh,” she replied, standing up.

“We need you in the royal office.” Julie’s stomach dropped. “Your friends can come if they would like,” he added, shooting a kind but worried glance at Flynn, Mira, and Carrie, “but this is a tense situation, and they would be required to keep it all classified.”

“We can do that,” Carrie said, a single crease between her brows. Mira and Flynn nodded. Julie couldn’t shake the nervousness in her stomach.

“Did I do something?”

“No, no, don’t worry, mija. Está bien, it’s nothing that you did. But it’s not good. Just… put on something respectable but comfortable. It might be a long night.” He turned to walk out the door, but Julie grabbed his sleeve.

“Papá, ¿qué pasó?” Ray sighed.

“Do you remember Caleb Covington? He’s the king of Krypto.”

“Yeah, but it’s been awhile.” Ray sighed again, the crease between his eyebrows deepening.

“The kingdom of Krypto has declared war on Dahlia.”

#be who you are (no compromise)#blue writes #bwya tag

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adrinoir · 4 years

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Adrienette is....interesting

Ohhh boy. Here is my last analysis for the love square ships!

I hate to say Adrienette is my least favorite in the square - but it is. It’s ironic that I’m ranking them in the first place considering it is two of the same people for all 4 ships.

I feel like there is SO much to unpack with this. So let’s get into it.

How it got started

Marinette stupidly thought Adrien wasn’t a good guy at first. Chloe’s friend = bully. There was that miscommunication of Adrien taking the gum off of Marinette’s seat, but she thought he was putting it ON the seat.

Then the classic umbrella scene happens after Nino pushes Adrien to talk to Marinette.

Master Fu creepily watches them from afar and is like These two are made for each other.

It’s cute and wholesome because Adrien giggles at her and is so happy he finally has a new friend.

“She’s just a friend”

Shut up, Mr. Adrien “she’s just a friend” Agreste.

Thomas ass truck obviously likes to annoy the fandom here and there and one of the most annoying things is HOW MANY times Adrien feels the need to confirm aloud that Marinette is just a friend.

Despite the amount of times Adrien says this, there’s a good chance that he doesn’t realize he has feelings for Marinette since he’s so wrapped up in his infatuation for Ladybug.

Adrien hasn’t had too many friends but I like to think either he’s not clueless enough or not on the aromantic spectrum to not know the line between friends and lovers. Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit and he IS super oblivious.

It’s clearly in Adrien’s personality to be caring of others, very much so of his friends. However, he seems to just randomly really care a lot about Marinette even though they aren’t really super close friends. He also does things that cross the line into being more so romantic, and that’s why he likes her as more than a friend.

He has slow danced with her TWICE now, and not awkwardly as if she’s “just a friend.” Very tightly and romantically.

He cuddled with her on the train when she was sleepy when he easily could’ve just pushed her away.

He smiled a lot when she thanked him and kissed him for calling her “their everyday ladybug”.

He STARES at her very longingly.

He was willing to kiss Marinette for Nino’s short film (but not even Chloe).

He compliments her a lot, he can be overprotective of her, he’s willing to help her when she needs it, he’s asked HER for advice, he’s silly and has playfully teased her on multiple occasions.

In the Oblivio episode, he didn’t even REMEMBER who Marinette was but assumed she was his girlfriend. And he realized a bunch of reasons WHY he loved her when they spent time alone in the tower together. To not even know her and realize he loved her just says it all.

In Chat Blanc, there was the timeline when he actually DATED Marinette. Like I said in my Ladrien analysis, we could speculate a couple different things, but it is certainly possible that he DID realize he has liked her all this time.

And truthfully, we know how he treats her as Cat Noir, which is very telling - the flirting, how he carries her to a safe place when she’s close to an akumatized villain, how he confides in her.

I know I’ve said it in two of my analysis posts already, but it works here too - Adrien cares enough to ask Marinette how she feels about Cat Noir. He wants to know if she likes him for his true self.

There’s definitely even more signs than what I listed but even what I wrote is a long list (and it’s just moments I remembered all off the top of my head!) Adrien is just so sweet to her and I love it.

Thomas has made Marinette too creepy

You don’t even have to watch the show to know Marinette is hardcore crushing on Adrien. Similar to Adrien/Cat Noir’s feelings for Ladybug, she’s infatuated with him and doesn’t know about Adrien’s raw personality (well, knows it but thinks Cat Noir is a completely different person.)

The show centers a lot around Marinette’s crush on Adrien and it is obsessive.

In the first season, I thought Marinette was weird for having his whole schedule, having pics of him in her room, and stealing his phone, but I still liked her character. However, Thomas has made Marinette progressively more and more obsessed with Adrien in the unhealthiest ways possible.

She has reached full-on stalker level behavior at this point in the series. The one I think of is when she went as far to stack up trash cans to get over the fence to Adrien’s house when Lila was there, and then crying to the firefighter nearby when she couldn’t get in. Or, when she revealed that she has an ENTIRE chest filled with presents she made for Adrien for like the next 50 years. Or, when she tried kissing the “statue” of him. It’s gone too far.

I mean, I HOPE Thomas Astruc doesn’t think this is normal behavior. I’d like to believe he’s just writing it to exaggerate Marinette’s feelings for Adrien and make it more ridiculously silly for the kid portion of his audience. But it’s hard to say for sure. No matter what, it still shouldn’t be in the show because it could be normalizing this behavior for the younger kids, and I know for a fact it’s just making the teenage/adult audience feel uncomfortable and cringy.

Will Marinette make good progress?

Well, possibly. The show has had its share of issues with continuity in character development, but to be fair, in some ways we have seen Marinette progress.

Despite still being awkward at times, she’s able to have more conversations with Adrien without stumbling over her words. Where as before, she could barely get a proper sentence out.

She’s also kissed Adrien on the cheek and given him notes and gifts (even though they aren’t signed except the one that was Master Fu’s stool prescription).

And - even though Marinette was acting a bit over the top about it - she at least made a little bit of effort to see if she could drop her feelings for Adrien. Naturally, she couldn’t. It can be difficult to get over romantic feelings for someone, especially if they’re a friend you interact with a lot.

Additionally, Alya deserves a lot of credit for creating situations for Marinette to talk to Adrien and literally pushing the two of them together. I could name the things she did but she does this in just about every other episode. Even though the success rate hasn’t been fantastic, Alya is still the real MVP for helping Marinette (and just putting up with her in general.) There’s a lot of things that wouldn’t have happened without that extra push from Alya.

But, for Marinette to make better progress with Adrien, she needs to learn to stop being so weirdly obsessive and jealous, and to just go for it. Take the risk and confess to Adrien. Tikki has told her “there will never be a right time!”

It has been 3 full seasons and Marinette still has yet to confess to Adrien. Ugh.

And, just my own feelings, but Marinette should start to grow an attraction for Cat Noir’s personality as well, seeing as how it’s Adrien’s true self. Because, as of right now, she’s liking him based off of his timid, more model-like facade and not his silly, charming self.

Or, she also has the option to date Luka, same with Adrien and Kagami. However, both of them can’t decide on the right thing to do and just kinda lead Luka and Kagami a bit. So decisions need to be made to progress, too.

Will Adrien make good progress?

When he sorts out his feelings and understands how he feels about Marinette, yes.

Adrien’s not really creepy or jealous, he just seems like the type of person who acts on how he feels but doesn’t pick up on it.

He hasn’t done anything to hurt Marinette and would never intend to. It hurts Marinette that he MIGHT like Kagami, but he’s obviously not intentionally doing it to make her jealous (even HE is unsure of his relationship with Kagami.)

Like I said, the boy just needs to figure it out. Then things could start to move forward.

Final Thoughts:

1. Adrien has feelings for Marinette (but can’t recognize it), Marinette likes him but is too scared to say anything - they both just need to sort their feelings out in a healthy manner in order for it to work.

2. Some progress between these two is there, but it should move quicker - it’s been too many seasons of Marinette having failed attempts to confess.

3. The ship will be more wholesome when they DO sort their feelings out, and Marinette becomes less obsessive and jealous, and likes Adrien’s true personality.

If you read this analysis, if you’ve read my others, thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed them! I had a really great time writing them all.

#miraculous ladybug #tales of ladybug and cat noir #miraculers #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #adrienette #adrien x marinette #i ship them #miraculous #the umbrella scene

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?

When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through.

If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut.

So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina lake is pretty neat.

youtube

All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.

And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy.

So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.

ON the train we run into michelle again...

Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person.

Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL. I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that.

And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face.

So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick.

So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it.

We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know.

So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.

So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top.

Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core.

It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot.

Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc.

It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting.

The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being

It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.

This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme.

So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out.

Final Thoughts: This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up

Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly.

See you at the next rainbow

#green eggs and ham #guy am I #sam I am #dr seuss #netflix #animation #patreon

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goodguydotmp3 · 4 years

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hi i came across ur answer about harry/his music, there was this -- "I also really hate that one song that Zayn did with Usher and Chris Brown, because you have these awful men completely misunderstanding what it means to write a love song, and then you have Zayn at the very end all like “actually I really am in love tho…” I thought the same bcz his verse is so different & feels like it doesn't fit can you explain more about it if you'd like plz? thanks :)

SO I had to re-listen to the song for this ask and it was just as uncomfortable as the first time <3

Alright lets break this down.

I. General Feel

Okay so this song is. It’s just not a good song let me put it like that. It’s an pop R&B song, obviously meant to be at the very least sexy. You have three men that are known for their sexy pop/R&B lyics and/or songs, and somehow two of them forgot how to be sexy? make it make sense. Where is the romance? the ambiance? the vulnerability? No not like that Chris Brown.

And yes there were three other writers, but that just means there is even less of an excuse for this nonsense. It literally makes my skin crawl.

II. Lyrics

Girl bye.

a. Usher, what is you doing? He starts off the verse with

Come and ride on me like the waves I flip the pages 'cause I wrote the book On the way how to sex you up, sex you up We can do it like I'm on the stage, we'll have an audience Baby, I'll show you the way that I sex you up

When I tell you I could fucking scream. Who let Usher Raymond do this? I want names, phone numbers, and addresses.

This sounds juvenile. If someone rapped this over a Nitti Beat back in 2012 I would have thought this was fire. That’s how fucking childish this is. This can’t be the same man you used to sing stuff like “if you didn’t know you’re the only thing that’s on my mind, cause the way i’m starin at you makes me wanna give it to you all night” or “I’ve been waiting all day to wrap my hands around your waist and kiss your face” or “I’ll get you hot I know you oh so well”. now are those groundbreaking lyrics? No. But they sound leagues better then whatever the hell he was doing here, Especially in context, especially when he sung them but I wanna talk about that later.

Next point of contention is:

Or I can lick you up and down 'til you say You love how I eat on that pussy You just might go put a tat' on that pussy That says Usher, Usher There's no other, other (Yeah!) Damn girl, yeah, you got that juicy Love when I make you cum, I make it gushy One without the other I'm the champion lover, lover Fuck you to sleep, wake you up again (Oh) I go so deep, beat it up again (Oh) Girl, come and sit on my tongue again 'Cause I love to taste you, yeah

Would someone be so kind as to let me know when 2010 lil Jon possesed Usher? Or maybe it was 2008 Lil Wayne? 2012 Pitbull? Either way, 2016 Usher just aint got it like. Truly if this was being rapped in a club with the bass all the way up and the melody loud enough that you couldn’t hear it, I would be like “ okay maybe horny people wanna shake they ass” but this is supposed to be sexy? Who is this seducing????? Are they okay? Can they name the current President? How many fingers am I holding up?

Last of his verse is what really gets me heated like

I can tell you been eating your pineapples (Mmm) Girl, your pussy taste like pineapples (Oh) Girl, when I hit your G, you feel like you gon' pee Baby, cum for me

First off, pussy taste like pussy you fucking coward. Second, stop god modding you clearly don’t know all that if you still think pussy taste like pineapples. And this is that immaturity coming back into play I feel like, who is this song for? Not adults. Not like this. I feel like I can’t over emphasize that this man had been putting out original music for 26 years. 26! Not only are your fans too old for this nonsense, but you should be a master song writer! I know this song came out in 2016 but that’s still over 20 years of experience.

b. Chris Brown

Huh, now where you been? It's been a year Baby, I ain't seen you, you know I miss you (Oh, woah) Baby, let me love you back to sleep once more And I know we don't speak no more (Oh) But I just wanna tell you I'm sorry (Hey!) For fucking 'round with Keisha and MaKayla (Huh) For all the Georgia peaches in Decatur For all these bitches in the elevator I just want you to love me (Yeah, yeah) Yeah, baby, don't test me (Huh), you know I'll do it You want me to say your name, girl? Okay, Karrueche

I Just

What...praytell...is sexy or romantic about...anything said there.

See this is what I was talking about in my other post, He completely misunderstands what it means to white a love song , but more than that, to be vulnerable. Saying you’re a cheating whore and begging for forgiveness in this manner is not actually apologizing for your actions, it’s just airing your dirty laundry.

If he wants to do that then fine I guess?? But I feel like he wasn't. Like, the idea totally reminds me of Charlene, Wherein Anthony Hamilton name drops his lover and begs her to come back to him. The thing about Hamilton’s song is that he doesn’t sound like a manipulative ass for one. Hamilton makes it clear there were several places he knows he fell short in the relationship, and in the end, he doesn’t make it out to be a callout post, but he does let her know that he intends to wait for her should she come back, and then promises to change his behavior. This is not that at all. When Beyoncé and Alicia Keys said Say you love me and Put it in a Love Song, This is not what they meant.

ALSO DON’T REFER TO WOMEN AS BITCHES

c. Zayn

Baby, just stay comfortable, I want you as you are Baby, just lay there naked waiting for me Let's not get emotional, let's be who we are Can we do that? Can we do that? Can we? Know it's been a long day, it's 'bout to be a long night So keep your eyes closed 'til I roll through So, baby, when you're feeling like a woman in the sheets Somebody splitting your knees, don't worry that's me I'm over here putting work in Baby, you ain't gotta tell me what you want

Am I Floored? No. Is this his best work? Also no. Is it a helluva lot better than whatever the fuck Usher and Chris B thought they were doing here? Hell yes. The vulnerability! The pleading! The fucked up headspace! This verse has it all!

III. The way the song is sung

terribly Let me start there. Wtf was usher trying to do here. The lyrics were chringy, and so was the delivery. It felt choppy as hell. Like who is fucking to this? Asking for a friend. WHo is aroused by an usher vulva tat

we need to have words.

second Chis Brown sounds like a whiney piss baby I really hope no one actually paid for that song thinking they were getting a sexy R&B hit and got that.

Zayn sounds fine on this song, like the tone is overall bittersweet, but it matches the lyrics.

okay the last thing I want to talk about is the chorus. after hearing the verses It really doesn’t match. It’s a really basic premise I feel and Usher and CB felt like they were on another song in between the chorus. Like In Sex Room, Ludacris talks a really big game, and the chorus is really simple, but It’s literally all about what he plans to do in said “Sex room”, Usher like someone told him he was gonna be singing a sex song and then went back and put a line that tied to the song at the last minute if that makes sense?

and then CB....okay.

The last thing I wanna say about Chris Brown is I actually listened to the original song, thinking maybe the original was also trash. No actually? It’s not the best, not even by Chris B standards but its not bad like?? Who let him but out this remix monstrosity?

Anyway, I actually have a Sexy R&B playlist if you’re looking for something...better. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t all romantic, but they’re damn sure sexy, and way better that wtf this song has going on

#chris brown #usher #Zaynie to the max #I got carried away lol #lemme know if you have questions :>

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themoonismymuse · 5 years

Text

boyfriend || part two

Part one || Part three

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Summary: now that you and Steve are over, someone else steps into the picture...

Word count: 2171

Warnings: cursing, angsttt, sad boi hour starts now :)

Song: boyfriend (with Social House) by Ariana Grande and Social House

A/N: this one is a little longer than part one because i combined part two and three! please enjoy!!

You are laying on Nancy’s bed, playing with her comforter. She invited you to stay over at her house, saying you needed a girls night. After taking a shower to get all the punch off of you, you had taken a spot on her bed to talk. “Why did he do it?” You ask, resisting the urge to cry. You had already done that at least three times since you left the party and didn’t want to do it again.

“Because he’s an idiot. See what happened when I left him? I’m so much better now,” Nancy says while she takes the pins out of her hair.

“But you had Jonathan to run to. I don’t have anyone.”

She looks at you. “You have me!”

You smile painfully. “Yeah, I guess so.”

She gives you a pitiful look and comes over to sit on the bed next to you. “Steve sucks. He can’t keep it in his pants.”

“It just hurts so bad. Why wasn’t I enough?”

Nancy wants so badly to make you feel better. An idea comes to mind, but she knows you’ll shoot it down. “What if we get you a rebound?”

“What? Like some guy for me to fuck and get over Steve?”

“Duh. It can be very helpful sometimes,” she smiles in a devilish way.

You sit up. “And who do you suggest for this endeavour?”

“Our own homegrown Billy Hargrove!” She announces this like he’s a prize you’ve just won on a gameshow.

You raise your eyebrows and laugh. “Are you being serious? Oh, no,” the smile slips from your lips. “You are being serious.”

She nods. “You’re hot, he’s hot. You’re sad, he’s probably sexually frustrated. It’s a perfect match.”

“How is he sexually frustrated? Literally every girl in Hawkins wants to screw him.”

She rolls her eyes like you’re missing the point. “Just trust me on this.”

“I am not having sex with him,” you cross your arms.

“You don’t have to have sex. Just show him off a little bit at school. Get Steve jealous.”

You think about it. “No.”

“Oh come on, Y/N! You need this right now!” She whines.

You lay back on the bed and get situated under the covers. “Still no.”

“Stop pretending to be asleep. I know you’re awake,” she says as you keep your eyes shut tightly.

You pretend to snore, but eventually do fall asleep. Nancy does the same, but her mind is filled with ideas to make you forget about Steve completely.

In the morning on Monday, you rub your eyes to try and take away any of the sleepiness. The sunlight is far too bright for December. Yesterday you had spent the day with Nancy, watching sad romantic comedies and eating until you felt like you were going to combust. Jonathan stopped by around three in the afternoon to pick up his brother, Will, but decided to stay and hang out for a while.

You dread going to school today. Everyone is going to look at you funny and it won’t feel the same without Steve’s arm around your shoulder. You sigh and get up. Your mother doesn’t know about your messy breakup, and you don’t intend to tell her until it’s impossible for her to not know. Hopefully that time will never come. You trudge down the stairs and your mother is sitting at the table, drinking coffee. “Steve called about twenty times yesterday.”

Ah, shit. Now you have to tell her. “What did you say to him?” You ask quietly.

“That you were at Nancy’s. Why?” She gives you a skeptical look. You know that she can see right through you.

You take a deep breath. “I broke up with Steve on Saturday.”

She looks at you sympathetically, but then stands up and briskly walks over to hug you. You burst into tears when she wraps her arms around you. “Let it out, baby. Let it out,” she whispers as she pats your hair down.

“He was kissing another girl,” you say through the tears.

“Shh… you don’t have to have any reason to dump his hair-gelled ass. I never liked him from the beginning, anyways.”

You laugh sadly and pull away. Mom hugs are always the best. “Thanks, Mom.”

She holds your head in her hands and wipes the tears away with her thumb. “Go get cleaned up, baby. You need to show him what he’s missing.”

You decide to walk to school today, the way there not being that long on a good day. Of course, this isn’t a great day, but maybe the fresh air will help clean out your lungs. At least you won’t have to see anyone’s faces on the bus.

As you near closer to the actual school, your pace slows and dread fills your body. This can’t get any worse, can it?

The high school is beside the middle school, so there are a few middle schoolers biking through the high school parking lot. You spot the redheaded girl who was at Nancy’s house when you were there on Sunday. You are able to recognize Mike, Lucas, Will, and Dustin besides Max. There’s another girl who came over to Nancy’s house when you were there, Elle. She is apparently homeschooled and very sheltered.

You walk up the hill to the parking lot and immediately regret coming to school today. The people who are hanging by their cars eye you, especially the girls. They seem triumphant, like they beat you for something you weren’t even competing for. You try to ignore the stares, but that becomes ten times harder once you enter the school. Your eyes find the ground as you walk past people, until you reach your locker. Luckily, you haven’t spotted Steve yet.

Unluckily, someone wrote on your locker in black lipstick: I guess the princess has fallen.

Your eyes widen and you try to scrub it off with the sleeve of your sweater. It won’t budge. “Fuck,” you whisper. At least there aren’t any obscene words. That would be so much worse.

“Need a little help?” A low voice asks from behind you.

You startle and turn quickly, your back hitting the lockers when you notice how close this person is to you. Billy Hargrove. “Not from you,” you snap.

You keep at it, rubbing the words aggressively with your sleeve. After a moment, you notice that he hasn’t left yet. “Can I help you?” You ask.

“No, I’m just enjoying the view.”

You groan and rest your forehead on the locker. “Great pick-up line. Really. Very original.”

“Hey, I heard you and Steve had a pretty horrific breakup at Tammy’s,” you open your locker as he says this, but quickly shut it.

You shut your eyes tightly to stop the memories flooding in. It’s easier to be angry than to show your real sadness. “So?”

“So,” he says, placing his arm on the locker over your shoulder so you can’t really move out of the way. “Can I take you out tonight?”

You roll your eyes and laugh a little. “Did Nancy put you up to this?”

“What?” he asks, looking surprised, but he covers it up quickly.

You narrow your eyes and reach up to move his arm out of the way. “I’m so sorry, but I’m going to have to say no. Must be a shocker since everyone always says yes.” As you walk away, Billy follows you, even though you thought you made it clear that you did not want to have anything to do with him.

“Come on, lighten up a bit,” he slides an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side.

“Get off,” you push him to the side and readjust your jacket. You flatten your hair and walk briskly away from him, hoping to God that he doesn’t follow you.

Billy watches you leave, a smile playing at his lips. He always loves a challenge… and you are going to be tricky to win over.

The rest of the day is tense, with people whispering about you, but also the fact that you hadn’t seen Steve all day. Not seeing Steve should’ve been a perk, right? Wrong. You were worrying if he was with some other girl or if he had taken your breakup terribly. Your worries slip from your mind when you see exactly who you don’t want to see in the hallway after last period. Steve Harrington.

With the same girl from the party.

Despite the fact that your heart had already been shattered into a thousand pieces, seeing him with her breaks those shatters into a million jagged pieces. He catches your eye and you see how little emotion is in his eyes. Just days before he seemed so happy. So loving.

Now there was nothing.

You feel the same emotion from the party and this morning when Billy spoke to you; anger. It boils the blood inside of you. He dares to come to school with that girl? You look around quickly for someone who you never thought you’d need until now.

“Hey, princess,” a voice says from behind you.

You turn around and are greeted by the one person you were looking for. You swallow your snappy response to that nickname and give him a forced smile. “Hi,” you say as though this is strictly a business matter. Which it is. Obviously. “So, do you wanna drive me home or not?

***

The ride home is quiet, except for constant questions from Max Mayfield, who is apparently Billy’s step-sister. “Why are you letting my asshole of a brother drive you home?”

“Because he offered,” you say shortly.

“Actually, you sort of offered yourself,” Billy intervenes, but is ignored.

Max rolls her eyes. “That’s so stupid. I’ve seen you around Mike’s house. You’re cool. Billy is not cool.”

You resist the urge to laugh at hurt look on Billy’s face. “I am cool. I am the epitome of cool. No one is cooler than me.”

“Y/N is. And you know it,” Max teases.

Billy scoffs, “Sure.”

You look out the passenger side window, watching the trees fly by you. Billy passes the street leading to your house. He had said that he knew where you lived when you told him your address. “Uh, my house is that way,” you point your thumb backwards.

“I know,” he says, staring at the road ahead of him.

When you reach what you presume to be Billy and Max’s house, Max hops out and says, “‘Bye, Y/N!”

You give her a friendly wave, then turn to look at Billy. “You are going to drop me off at my house and that’s it. No funny business.”

He looks over with an almost bored gaze. “Do you really think I’m going to try anything with your prudish self?”

You bite your tongue, keeping your sarcastic comments to yourself. Tomorrow Billy will have forgotten all about you, so there is really no point in arguing. “I just- I don’t want you to get any ideas.”

He laughs and smiles as he turns the car to go back towards your street. “Oh, trust me. I’m just being nice.”

“For what? Driving me home?”

“Duh. You practically forced me to take you.”

You cross your arms in shock. “I did not. You practically begged me to go with you this morning.”

His absolutely annoying smile hasn’t left him lips. “And I didn’t think people could change their minds so quickly.”

“Whatever,” you say, your lips forming a pout. “Also, how would you know if I’m a prude?”

He laughs. “It’s so obvious. You never do anything more with Harrington than little pecks on the lips. Why else would he cheat on you?”

Your eyes widen. “It’s none of your business what I do or don’t do with my boyfriend.”

“But he’s not your boyfriend anymore.”

Oh, now he’s just being a prick. “Could you stop being a pain in my ass and just drive me home already?”

“I’m trying to, princess. You’re just making it awfully difficult.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He glances over at you. “What? Princess?”

“Yeah. It’s stupid. And I’m not a princess.”

“You sure do act like one,” he mutters under his breath.

You ignore that comment and keep your gaze forward until he pulls up to your house. “Thanks for the ride,” you say lazily, pushing the door open.

“Your whole tactic worked really well, by the way. Steve’s face was priceless,” Billy says before you have the chance to shut your door.

“What?” You lean down to be eye level with him.

Billy smirks and rolls his eyes. “You only wanted a ride to make him jealous, right?”

“No,” you say defensively. “I just didn’t want to walk home in the cold.”

“Whatever you say, princess,” he looks forward again, still smiling annoyingly.

“God, you are such a know-it-all!” You accuse, practically slamming the door.

The window rolls down quickly and Billy says, “So I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning?”

A/N: yo so somehow i pretty much deleted this whole post and i had to add everything back to it again so sorry if there are any changes to anything!

Part one || Part three

Masterlist

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freewheelshippin · 4 years

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30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme!

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen!

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art?

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao)

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol)

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer )

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.)

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club)

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself.

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ???

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance!

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs.

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3)

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...)

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!!

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you???

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!!

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much???

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda)

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too.

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best.

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind!

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking .........

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!)

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line!

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough!

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao.

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy.

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point )

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say.

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around!

#iron maiden & rocka rolla #memery #long post

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kitten1618x · 5 years

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GoT Afterthoughts ep. 08x02 ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’ (Jonsa Edition)

Guys this episode was sooooooo good! Okay, okay, okay, let’s unpack here! I have lots of thoughts and since this isn’t broken up into parts, this is going to be a long post, so I’m gonna drop this bad boy under a read more.

We begin in the Great Hall. It appears Jaime is on trial. Queen Dany sits at the head of the table—and imagine having the fucken audacity to sit in Winterfell — in Rickard fucken Starks seat—and in front of his grandchildren, talking about the extermination of Aerys Targaryen like he was some noble king that was just slaughtered by the big bad kingslayer, and NOT the murderous fucken mad Targ king, whom crimes’ you just recently apologized to Jon for, and called him evil to conveniently set yourself apart from him—or did you just forget all that, Dany? Hmmm? IMAGINE the big hairy pair you have to have to actually sit in between the Starks in their own home and utterly disrespect them like that—all while claiming to be in love with one of them? Wow. Just wow. And no, I’m not even sorry for that amazingly clunky run-on sentence, either.

I see that Jaime still has no interest in setting the record straight on why he killed Aerys Targaryen. It appears only Brienne will truly ever know about the millions of people he saved that day in doing so. Jaime stands his ground, though, and gives up Cersei’s plans. Tyrion tries to stand up for him, but Dany cuts him off at the knees (no pun intended), embarrassing him in front of everyone, as per ush.

For a moment her and Sansa have common ground. Sansa doesn’t trust Jaime either because of the wrongs he committed against her family. Jamie won’t apologize for any of it— their houses were at war. But Brienne vouches for him—my courageous, yet shy bb (God, I love her), and Sansa relents, her mind changed when Brienne says she’d fight beside him. Sansa trusts Brienne with her life, therefore Brienne trusting Jaime with hers is good enough for the Lady of Winterfell.

Dany is clearly not pleased with this turn of events. She turns to Jon, addressing him as Warden of the North and asks him what he thinks — assuming he will take her side, but—

He does not.

Dany finally relents as well, grounding out a “very well” between clenched teeth, as Tyrion breathes a sigh of relief that his big bro will not be extra crispy or original recipe’d today. GreyWorm returns Jaime’s sword—rather forcefully, knowing his queen is displeased—as Jaime thanks Dany for her uncharacteristic mercy.

Scene Highlights:

Bran blurting out “the things we do for love” and leaving Jaime shooketh

Sansa immediately standing up and leaving without waiting to be dismissed by the queen, and Jon ducking his head to avoid eye contact and then dipping as soon as Dany turns to face him.

Which takes us into the corridors of Winterfell and Dany resorting to her favorite pastime when she’s angry about things not going her way: berating her Hand in front of everyone. Luckily for Tyrion it’s just Jorah and Varys to witness it this time. Once again she accuses him of treason, and Tyrion is pretty sure that his time as Hand in her service is fast dwindling.

We jump to the forge where Arya stands back admiring Gendry work his magic—a callback to their time at Harrenhall in their younger years. They have a little flirty weaponry banter, and Arya wants to know what the AotD are like. She utters the iconic ‘many faces of death’ lines from the trailer while she impresses Gendry with some dead ass accurate blade throwing. He’ll be getting right on making her that weapon, by the way—and probably walking a little funny while he does it. 😉

Jaime seeks out Bran in the Godswood. He apologizes for what he did and tells Bran he’s not that person anymore. “You still would be if you hadn’t pushed me out that window, and I’d still be Brandon Stark.” Wow. Jaime wants to know why Bran didn’t tell them what he did, and Bran basically tells him it’s because they need him. When Jaime inquires “what about afterwards?” Bran drops an ominous “how do you know there will be an afterwards?”

We jump back to the Winterfell courtyard, where the Lannister brothers are catching up and commiserating about being in Winterfell again. Dany is different, Tyrion tells Jaime, and Jaime doesn’t seem so convinced. Tyrion wants to know if Cersei lied about the baby, and Jaime tells him that was true (as far as he/we know, people). But what I REALLY love about their conversation is this part:

J: She’s always been good at using the truth to tell lies. Don’t be too hard on yourself. She’s fooled me more than anybody.

T: She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was, and you loved her anyway.

The funny, or actually ironic thing about this conversation is they’re talking about Cersei, but if you flip the dialogue between the Lannister brothers here, the same could be said for Dany—especially the bolded part. Think back to the things Tyrion said to Jorah when he kidnapped him back in season 5 — he was confused by Jorah’s blind loyalty, too. How the mighty have fallen, Tyrion.

They move their conversation up to the battlements, where Tyrion finds the silver lining that at least he won’t die at Cersei’s hands, and perhaps once he’s torn apart by the dead, he’ll march to Kings Landing and rip her apart too. But he’s talking to himself, because Jaime is too busy watching Brienne supervising the training of her ranks just outside the gates.

And my Braime heart is siiiiiiiinging!!!

He joins her below, and she calls him out for acting weird and not insulting her as per ush. lol It’s really just an adorable little love spat — complete with awkwardness and frustration and plenty of UST. And as the music lulls romantically, he basically admits that she’s the reason he’s here and even though he’s no longer the fighter that he used to be, he‘d be honored to serve under her command if she’ll have him—which is basically fucken a straight up declaration of love, okay? He literally just said—complete with puppy dog eyes—“I love you.” CHANGE MY MIND!!

Brienne is taken aback by this declaration of love and is at loss for words — and so she ducks out, leaving him to watch after her forlornly. And my Braime heart is still siiiiiiiinging!!!!

We head back inside of Winterfell, Dany is alone in her chambers — and they aren’t the Lord’s Chambers, that’s for damn sure. She’s not having a very good day, and her expression here certainly reflects that. Jorah enters, asking her forgiveness, reminding her that forgiveness is important. This leads into a conversation where he basically asks her to take it easy on Tyrion and give him another chance.

While book!Jorah might be a creep, I truly adore show!Jorah, who laments that when he found out Dany gave Tyrion this position, it broke his heart, but he still believes that Tyrion was the right choice; he’s smart, he owns his mistakes and he learns from them.

What I find odd is Dany’s reply: “You’re advising me to forgive the man who stole your position?”

Wait... what? When did Tyrion do that? I recall Dany proudly pinning that golden hand pin on a very humbled Tyrion in the season 6 finale—not some rabid dwarf attacking an unsuspecting Jorah and wrestling the position from his gnarled greyscaled hands—and what-the-ever-living-fuck kind of crazy ass dialogue are they giving this girl?

Jorah has one other suggestion for her, if she’ll allow him such liberties. Annnnnd now the Sansa/Dany scene makes so much more sense. Dany didn’t seek Sansa out of her own accord to try and bridge the icy gap between them because she’s just so humble and wonderful and loving and good!!!! !!!! !!!! It was actually Ser Jorah’s idea.

So Dany takes him up on his suggestion and seeks Sansa out, finding her in the library with Lord Royce. But ahhhh this scene is just so fucken good, so let’s unpack it, shall we?

Dany enters and asks that they speak in private, and Sansa cedes to her wishes, dismissing Lord Royce.

D - I thought you and I were on the verge of agreement before... about Ser Jaime.

S - Brienne has been loyal to me always. I trust her more than anyone.

D - I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisers.

Here she takes a low blow at Tyrion again, but Sansa defends him.

S - Tyrion is a good man. He was never anything but decent towards me.

D - I didn’t ask him to be my hand simply because he was good. I asked him to be my hand because he was good and intelligent and ruthless when he had to be. (See, I told y’all Tyrion didn’t steal the position... and yes, I’m being petty lol). Dany steps closer into Sansa’s space as she continues. He never should have trusted Cersei.

S - You never should have either.

Sansa drops a truth bomb, insinuating (rightly) that Dany shares the blame here, and Dany doesn’t like this at all. She swallows, containing her anger and paints on a fake smile in her irritation at Sansa’s words.

D - I thought he knew his sister.

S - Families are complicated.

Dany smiles at that and pulls up a seat, indicating for Sansa to do the same.

D - Ours certainly have been.

S - A sad thing to have in common.

D - We have other things in common. We’ve both known what it means to lead people who aren’t inclined to accept a woman’s rule. And we’ve both done a damn good job of it, from what I can tell...

Sansa smiles briefly at this. Clearly, Dany is using the compliment strategy again, but not so shallowly this time. Even if she truly believes this, the commonality of them both being women ruling is where this similarity ends. We’ve seen how differently they run things via season 7’s blatant comparison of ‘the three queens’. Sansa stores food, Cersei steals it, and Dany burns it (and yes, I’m going to keep bringing this up). But honestly, who could forget?

vs.

D - (cont.) ...and yet I can’t help feeling like we’re at odds with each other. Why is that?

Sansa takes a deep breath but doesn’t reply.

D - Your brother?

Yeah y’all, they really did that. But again I say, no love triangle brewing here, folks.

S - He loves you, you know that? *(I’ll address this in a minute)

D - That bothers you?

S - Men do stupid things for women. They’re easily manipulated.

D - All my life I’ve known one goal. The iron throne. Taking it back from the people that destroyed my family, and almost destroyed yours. My war was against them until I met Jon. Now I’m here, half a world away, fighting Jon’s war alongside him. Tell me, who manipulated whom?

Y’all are you serious?!?!? This entire fucken monologue is like literally POLITICAL!JON — I mean, it’s like D&D are literally fucken trolling this relationship so hard. Nothing like hiding some shit right out in plain sight for all the world to not see it. *And if you think for one minute that Sansa is not playing the game here, and that she actually did a complete 180, then I don’t know what to tell you other than, just wait and see.

There was a reason that they cut that office scene between her and Jon in the last episode, and after mulling it over with a few of my comrades, I think that it’s possible that Jon came clean and brought Sansa in on it. They have been a unit since they reunited, and a major part of Sansa’s hostility in the last episode was because she felt Dany was encroaching upon that, and she was losing Jon. Romantic or platonic, no one can deny the dynamic is there between Jon and Sansa. I happen to think it’s romantic, and I will die on this hill—but political!jon and jonsa aren’t mutually exclusive!!! !!! Okay, back to our dialogue.

S - (releases a small laugh and looks down—and I can’t help hearing Catelyn’s voice in my head: ‘you always look at your feet when you lie’) I should have thanked you the moment you arrived. That was a mistake.

D- (reaching down and placing her hand atop of Sansa’s). I’m here because I love your brother, and I trust him. And I know he’s true to his word. He’s only the second man in my life I can say that about.

S - Who was the first?

D- Someone taller.

They both giggle. I assume the other man she’s talking about is Drogo. In any event, I feel Dany is being truly sincere here. This is why people (her stans and the GA both) have a hard time seeing the darkness in her—because one minute she’s sitting narrow-eyed at a table, fighting off a tantrum while she drones on about her father—the fucken mad king—and how her and her brother fantasized about what they would do to the man that murdered him (one can only assume she wasn’t implying knitting him a sweater and mittens), and the next minute she’s all gentle heart and eyes and soft tones about loving and trusting Jon, and giggling with his sister about her ex being much taller than him. I get it. I really do.

But here’s the thing about political!jon that the antis and the jonerii always get wrong—at least the version I subscribe to (and yes, there are several variations of it because we aren’t a hive-mind like we’re always accused of being): Jon has every intention of fulfilling his pledge to Dany and whatever that entails—which is why he keeps trying to convince everyone that she’ll be a good queen (including himself). But he doesn’t love her. He simply used the feelings that he recognized that she had for him, to manipulate her to his cause. This doesn’t mean that he’ll throw her out of winterfell and bone his sister when it’s all said and done—because no, Jon isn’t a creep, but he is actually rather cunning when he deems it necessary.

However, he won’t have to keep up the charade, or boot her ass out of the north, or any of the other things the jonerii accuse us of ‘fantasizing’ about, because Dany is going to go dark, and everyone will see her for what she truly is. So, let’s return to our dialogue so I can get tf off of this scene! lol

~ S - And what happens afterwards? We defeat the dead, you destroy Cersei, what happens then?

D - I take the iron throne.

S - What about the North? (Sansa’s tone drops here as she becomes emotional about her home and her people, the music becomes more ominous as the softness ebbs from Dany’s face). It was taken from us, and we took it back. And we said we’d never bow to anyone else again. (Her tone gets sharper, as she asks again). What about the North?

Dany looks angry now. She’s done playing nice, as she pulls her hand back from Sansa’s. The ominous music drones on as they stare at each other, and the maester interrupts them.~Theon has arrived at Winterfell. The music swells, and Theon looks first to a very visibly emotional Sansa, then Dany, and then back to Sansa again before customarily bowing to and acknowledging his queen. Suddenly Dany gives a flying fuck about her ally and inquires about Yara. Theon explains she’s taken back the Iron Islands in her (Dany’s) name.

“But why aren’t you with her?” Dany asks, confused at his presence, while the music swells again and Theon looks again, to Sansa—and not his queen. Dany of course notices this, and turns to look at Sansa as well, as Theon directly addresses—you guessed it—Sansa, and not his queen: “I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you’ll have me.”

And oh dear god, I’m so emotional rn, as Sansa’s eyes flood with tears and she runs to envelope Theon in a hug — Theon whom through his own trauma, not only helped to get her away from Ramsay and safely to Jon — but also cared enough for her and the Starks and what he did, to come back and finish making amends!!!! And you know Sansa is so proud of him!!! And I just had a conversation earlier with my bb @scullylikesscience that Theon would likely pledge to protect Bran, and that he will also likely sacrifice himself somehow to save one of the Starks, therefore completing his redemption arc, and I just can’t even rn— 😭😭

Scene Highlights:

Lord Royce leaving only when Sansa dismissed him.

Dany witnessing firsthand the devotion that Sansa and the Starks inspire in people.

Also... don’t forget

We’re back out in the courtyard, where Dadvos is serving up dinner to the Northerners with a side of confidence, and Gilly is advising a woman where to go below in the crypts. A little orphan(?) girl with burns on the side of her face asks Davos where she should go and my fucken heart is shattering again because you know he sees Princess Shireen in her!!!

And Fuck you Bryan Cogman, you’re killing me!!!

She’s not sure where to go because she knows the children are going to the crypts where they’ll be safer, but both of her brothers were soldiers and so she wants to fight too. Auntie Gilly to the rescue: she tells the girl that she’d feel much safer if she was down in the crypts protecting her and her son, and with a purpose, the girl happily accepts her bowl and heads off as Gilly smiles softly at Davos. And god dammit, Liam Cunningham played this scene so well. He literally has me tearing up here!

The horn blows for a new arrival, and Edd is here! The last of the Nights Watch are back together again — and Tormund. lol He glomps Jon, affectionately dubbing him his ‘little crow’, and they let Jon know that Last Hearth is done for and anyone else who’s still out there is pretty much part of the AotD now. They have until sunrise to finish preparing.

And the war council has commenced.~We get a little glimpse of what the NK wants, I guess??? Bran says “he wants to erase this world, and I am its memory.” —but why? And then Sam says something pretty poignant that I want @thelawyerthatwaspromised ‘s thoughts/opinion on: “That’s what death is, isn’t it? Forgetting. Being forgotten. If we forget where we’ve been and what we’ve done, we’re not men anymore, just animals.Your memories don’t come from books, your stories aren’t just stories. If I wanted to erase the world, I may not start with you.”

Pretty sure those that theorized that Sam is writing A Song of Ice and Fire were right, y’all — and with such a ‘poetic’ title, to boot.

They strategize a plan to ferret the NK out using (a volunteering) Bran as bait in the Godswood. Theon volunteers himself and the Iron Born to stay with Bran and protect him (and jfc here comes the end I predicted for Theon and I hate it so much), as Jon shares that taking out the NK will likely diminish the entire army. They cement their battle plans and Dany insists Tyrion stay in the crypts because she intends to keep him on as Hand. Tormund announces that they are all going to die, but at least they’ll die together, and Jon suggests everyone get some rest. Avoiding eye contact with Dany, he utters “your grace,” and then quickly ducks out on her ass again, leaving her looking confused and frustrated.

Scene Highlights:

Jon’s commanding presence in this meeting — even so far as to dismiss everyone, despite the fact that Dany is the queen and supposed to be the one calling the shots. Even her people look to him here for leadership, which is interesting.

Aegon Targaryen and his sister-wives.

Thank you @goodqueenalys ❤️

Alys Karstark making another appearance here, standing beside Theon—yeah, I’m becoming more and more convinced we’re getting a Sansa death fake-out at the expense of this ginger beauty.

We head back out to the courtyard where a lonely looking Missandei attempts to befriend some northern children. Unfortunately, she came with the Dragon Queen, so they want nothing to do with her. Grey Worm joins her and the two make plans to leave for Naath after Dany takes the throne — which means that one of them is probably going to die. Sigh.

Way up high on the ramparts, Sam asks Jon if he’s told Dany yet. He has not, and so Sam prods him a bit — and oh look, there’s Ghost, off to the side looking like they literally photo-shopped him into the scene. 🙄

Edd joins them, and the last of the Watchers On The Wall commiserate, and poke a little fun at Sam. I’m very emotional as Edd says “last man left, burn the rest of us” (which most likely won’t be him) as they pan out to the northern scenery in the distance.

The Lannister boys are reminiscing again, this time by the hearth and are joined by Brienne and Podrick. Momma Brienne allows Pod a half cup of wine (which Tyrion overflows) and Jaime encourages her to join them (smitten fool). She does, as well as Davos and Tormund, too—who is fucken hilarious here as he tries to impress Brienne with one of his tall tales, then sloppily downs his horn of sour goats milk. It’s all rather strange. lol

There’s a brief scene of Arya and the Hound on the ramparts. She wants to know what he’s doing here—when’s the last time he fought for anyone but himself, as to which he replies: “I fought for you, didn’t I?” True enough. Beric joins them and Arya takes her leave, declaring she doesn’t intend to spend her last hours with these two miserable old shits. lol

I’m not sure where she headed off to, but Gendry finds her and presents her with her weapon. Arya wants to know what the red woman wanted with him. He tells her his blood because he’s Robert Baratheon’s bastard — which leads into Arya wanting to know how many women he’s been with. Gendry avoids the question, but Arya persists, many face gaming his ass until he relents. LOL

The number is 3, and Arya wants to be number 4. She wants to know what it’s like before she dies. And holy shit, they went there! They kiss passionately, with Arya taking the lead. She orders him to take his own bloody pants off and takes the bull for a ride—if ya know what I mean... 😉

We return to the group before the hearth in the hall. Tyrion remarks that almost all among them had fought the Starks at some point, and yet, here they all are defending them. But yeah, this story is about a Targaryen restoration.

In their battle banter, it comes up that Brienne is not a Knight—and while Tormund would happily Knight her gorgeous big-womaned ass ten times over, tradition does not allow her to be one because she’s a woman. Oh the irony that the most honorable of them all—the one who actually is a true knight, cannot be named one. Until Jaime says, “hold my beer!” (or wine, rather).

Okay guys, like honestly, this is probably my most favorite scene of the entire series. Everything about it is so beautiful and wholesome, as Jaime declares any Knight can make another Knight and bids Brienne to kneel. She looks to Pod who, with an adoring face, gives her a little nod of encouragement, then she looks to Jaime, and he does the same.

The lovely music, the proud faces of all the men who look on with awe as Brienne kneels and Jaime says the words, pressing his blade gently from one shoulder to the other and makes some fucken Westerosi history when he says proudly: “Arise Brienne of Tarth, a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.”

Guuuuuuuys!!!! Omg!!!! I’m definitely ugly CRYING here!!!! Brienne’s eyes welling with tears, her proud smile, all these men clapping and their proud faces!!! Yeah, this is definitely 10/10 my most FAVORITE ever GoT scene!!! Just beautiful!

We jump back out to the courtyard where a very adorable and yet insanely stubborn little Lyanna Mormont is arguing with Jorah about going to the crypts. She pledged to fight for the North and she intends to, so she bids her cousin good fortune and leaves to take her place. Sadly, I think that she will not make it through the battle for Winterfell.

Sam has come to give Jorah Heartsbane. This is another very loaded and lovely scene, and my heart is pretty heavy, because I’m not very confident that Jorah will make it out of this battle alive, either. Sam tells him: “your father taught me how to be a man. Taught me how to do what’s right. This is right,” as he presents him the sword. Jorah accepts this heartfelt gesture and declares that he will wield it in his memory, to guard the realms of men.

BRYAN COGMAN!!!! I’M COMING FOR YOU FOR MAKING ME CRY ALL DAMN NIGHT!!!!

But seriously, the dynamic between Jorah and Sam has just been so beautiful. And all the antis can fuck right off with their shit-talking of this beautiful and wholesome creature that is Samwell Tarly!

We jump back to the crew before the hearth who are loathe to call it a night. Tyrion wants a song, and we are treated to Pod’s beautiful rendition of Jenny of Oldstones — and this entire montage is so beautiful, as we see how everyone is prepping for battle, spending their last hours with those they love and saying their goodbyes. The desperation in Missandei and GreyWorm’s very passionate goodbye kiss is extremely moving and makes me think this is probably their final kiss goodbye, and Jorah looks so gallant as he swings ‘round his horse, making his father proud and my heart is just swelling with love and dread and ughhhhhhhh!!!!!

At first I was a bit upset that none of the Starks were actually together here, but in my rewatch, I’ve come to understand why a little bit more. It seems as if they’ve all revisited their own life’s journey prior to coming home (in this episode). Jon, on the ramparts with Ghost and his remaining brothers of the Nights Watch. Arya, first sharing a brief moment with the Hound and Beric (brothers without banners), and then with Gendry. Sansa sharing a meal with Theon out in the courtyard in the home that holds both good and traumatic memories for both of them. He redeemed himself through her (as Jon said), and they share a bond of both surviving Ramsay and his horrors.

Bryan Cogman did NOT disappoint with this lovely episode, which has been what we will surely look back on as a bittersweet eulogy of sorts to some of the beloved characters we’ve come to know over the years. Yeah, this was beautifully done.

Ahhh, and lastly, we delve down into the crypts where Jon stands before the statue of his mother. Dany has very obviously (and understandably) grown tired of being avoided and sought him out. When he acknowledges her presence with a brief glance and a very faint smile, she cautiously moves closer and wraps her arms around him. And yep, here it is—the reveal. I honestly thought he would keep it from her as long as he possibly could, but I guess he figures they might all bite it anyway, so fuck it... (i’m kidding!! Or am i??)

Dany is taken aback by his words. She releases a shuddering breath and immediately steps away from him, denying it: that’s impossible. Jon tells her he wishes it were — and I fully believe him. Aside from the full-on identity crisis he’s been experiencing, you all know he has no interest in the Iron Throne... all this man has ever wanted was to protect his home, and the ones he loves.

Dany thinks there’s a conspiracy against her between Bran and Sam—and now Jon’s tone and demeanor have changed a bit. He takes a step towards her and insists that it’s true, calling her Dany because it’s informal and personal, and he knows now that she’s his aunt—that means she’s still his family—and I think he’s hoping that they’ll still be able to find some common ground with that.

But the fact that she’s found actual family—that she’s not really the last Targaryen alone in the world anymore—doesn’t seem to affect her as much as the fact that Jon is the last male heir of their line, and so therefore his claim for the throne overrides hers. A claim he has expressed no want or intent for, mind you. Maybe he intended to tell her no one would have to know, and he’d never contest her claim if she’d agree to leave the North independent when it’s all said and done... who knows? Certainly not Jon, because it’s clear he’s taken aback by her response here.

D - if it were true, it would make you the last male heir of House Targaryen (she grounds out those bolded words through clenched teeth and Kit’s micro expressions are on point—jfc, Watch his eyes!!). You’d have a claim to the iron throne.

And with the final utterance of Dany’s last words, the war horns sound. As if that doesn’t seem like a harbinger of Targbowl?!?!

But I will say, in my honest and most humble opinion, that his delivery here was all wrong. The way Jon lamented the story, it kind of came off as if it’s something he might have known all along... and therefore she most certainly will feel betrayed at this. Especially considering her earlier conversation with Sansa. Which, the crazy ass irony of it all is, with political!jon, he was actually already betraying her—just not about what she’ll think it was. Did I say that right? lol

They join Tyrion on the Ramparts, the dead are here. Jon looks towards Dany, nodding as if to ask if she’s ready, and she storms off ahead of him, anger evident on her face.

Ahhhhhhhhh, I’m really scared for Jon here, guys...!!! What are your thoughts?

Remember to care for yourselves and stay hydrated as we slug through this hellish week!

ty @farmgirlusa for your dialogue corrections.

#got afterthoughts #episode recap #jonsa #political!jon #dark!dany #anti jonerys #anti targaryen restoration #anti daenerys #not really but you aren't allowed to be critical of her if you're a fan and her behavior was so inappropriate this episode #so i guess it's anti #got s8 ep 2 #got s8

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thatfanficstuff · 6 years

Text

Talk to Me - Klaus

Pairing: Niklaus Mikaelson x Reader

Warnings: nope

A/N: This was an Anon request. I might have got a bit carried away. (It’s 2.5k) Hope you enjoy.

***

You were annoyed. Maybe that was the wrong word. Frustrated? Fed up? Angry? Displeased. That was the word. You were displeased with none other than one Niklaus Mikaelson. The two of you had been doing this flirtatious dance since he came to town.

Recently that flirting had become more serious and you’d agreed to a date. He rescheduled at the last moment saying something urgent demanded his attention. That was fine. You weren’t about to give him shit for taking care of his business. But this…well, this just wouldn’t do at all.

You had come over intending to be waiting when he got home. You let yourself in as you always did only to find that he’d beaten you home. In fact he’d been home for some time if what you were seeing was any indication. Your gaze ran over the vacated dining table. The candles still burned in the middle surrounded by fine china and wine glasses. In the other room, a fire crackled away offering a warm backdrop to the scene. Either Klaus was having romantic dinners with his sister or his urgent business was a date with someone other than you.

Damn it. You should have known better. You did know better. It was why you put him off for so long. You cared more for him than you should and you knew he would break your heart. At least he’d taken care of it early before you really became invested in him.

You turned your head to listen as voices drifted in from the other room.

“Listen, Hayley, I’m done playing. No more games.”

That was enough for you. Hayley was that wolf that Tyler Lockwood brought back with him. She’d done nothing but cause trouble but as far as you knew, she’d left town. What was she doing back here and with Klaus, nonetheless? You shook your head. It didn’t matter. You picked up a half full glass of whiskey from the table. You threw the alcohol back and relished in the burn as it ran down your throat.

You left as quietly as you’d come in. After all, you wouldn’t want to interrupt his date.

***

Klaus growled as he got your voicemail once more. That was the fifth time today. You always answered when he called. Surely you weren’t angry with him for canceling your date. When he’d called, he’d gotten the impression you understood. That was one of the things he liked the most about you. You were laidback and undemanding. Being with you was peaceful. And there was no question Klaus needed more peace in his life.

“Rebekah,” he snarled when his sister walked past the door of his study.

She stepped backward and looked at him with an arched brow. “Did you need something, brother?”

“Have you heard from Y/N today?” he asked.

Rebekah smirked. “Already not talking to you? Poorly done, Nik. I think that may be a new record for you.”

He clenched his teeth as he bit back a snarl. “Is that a no?”

She shrugged. “I haven’t heard from her since she texted to inform me that you were an ass and asked if I would like to get lunch. I was just on my way out in fact.”

He blinked in irritation. “Did she happen to mention why I’m an ass?”

“I didn’t bother asking. It’s not as if it came as any great surprise.”

Klaus stood and closed the distance to his sister in two long strides. “Where is this lunch you’re supposed to be heading to?”

She took a breath and looked him over. “Do you truly care for her, Nik? This isn’t just one of your games is it?”

“No games, Rebekah. Y/N is too important for that. I need to talk to her.” Ordinarily he’d cringe at the plea in his voice but not this time. He needed his sister to see how sincere he was.

“I was going to meet her at the Grill. She’s probably already there.”

Klaus grabbed her by the upper arms and tugged her forward to press a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you.” He hurried for the door.

“If she asks, you read my messages. I didn’t tell you anything,” Rebekah called after him.

***

You tapped your fingers on the side of your glass as you waited for Bekah to make her appearance. The two of you had become quick friends when she first came to town. You weren’t about to give her up just because her brother was an asshole.

You looked up with a smile when someone took the seat across from you. The smile quickly faded when you saw your least favorite hybrid instead of his sister.

He grinned and you dropped your gaze away. The man’s looks were lethal, especially when he flashed those dimples or his puppy dog eyes. The problem was that he was far too aware of it. “You haven’t answered my calls all day,” he finally said to break the silence between you.

You glanced at him before turning your gaze back to the glass in your hand. You had gone all morning without talking to or texting the hybrid. It was a streak you intended to keep up for as long as possible.

He reached over and took your hand in his, pulling it closer to him. The finger of his other hand traced across the lines on your palm. “Talk to me, Y/N.” He was literally pouting and you barely resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Instead you just stared at him.

Finally, he dropped your hand and leaned back with a sigh. He pushed a hand through his hair. “If you don’t tell me why you’re so angry, I can’t fix it, love.”

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and started scrolling through your notifications. That only lasted a couple of minutes before it was snatched from your grip. Klaus slid it into the pocket of his jacket. He simply smiled at your glare. “You may have it back after you speak to me.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and rested them on the table. Your expression remained as neutral as possible.

Something about the moment made him realize that you weren’t just giving him grief. His expression shifted from mild annoyance to concern. He shifted in his seat and squared his shoulders as if preparing himself for a blow. “If this is about me canceling our date, Y/N. you must know that was the last thing I wanted to do. I waited far too long for you to say yes.”

You huffed a laugh at that. “Yes, I’m sure you were beside yourself.”

His brow furrowed as he tilted his head to look you over. He slid your phone back across the table to you, not wanting to play anymore.

You snatched your phone up and shoved it into your purse. “Oh, that’s right. It was Hayley you were beside. I nearly forgot.”

Standing abruptly, you made straight for the door. Leaving him gaping after you.

***

This went on for days. He’d call or text you and you’d ignore him. He would show up wherever you were at and you’d act as if he didn’t exist. Then everything went quiet. No texts, no phone calls and no visits. Rebekah finally called you and begged you to speak with him.

“I know you’re upset with him, Y/N but he’s beside himself. I haven’t seen him this way in centuries. He truly cares for you,” she assured you.

You sighed as you thought it over. As much as you hated to admit it, you did miss him. Even when you weren’t talking to him, you got to see him and hear from him. Now you’d done neither in three days and you were a little lonely to be honest.

“It’s not what it seemed like,” she added. “Just let him explain.”

“I’ll think about it.” You hung up as you grabbed your purse. You were afraid if she warned him you were coming, he’d come up with some lie to placate you. If you were going to do this, you wanted to talk to the real Klaus. And you needed to look him in the eye when you did it.

***

Rebekah opened the door when you knocked and immediately pulled you into her arms. “Thank you, Y/N.” She turned to yell for her brother and you placed a hand on her arm to stop her.

“Where is he?”

“His study. He’s been holed up in there for days.”

“Has he eaten anything?”

She grimaced. “I’m pretty sure he’s made up of pure alcohol at this point.”

You headed for the kitchen instead of his study, dropping your purse off on the table on your way by.

“What are you doing?” Rebekah asked as she watched you put together a plate.

“Feeding the hybrid.”

Her eyes followed you as you finished the sandwich and placed some chips on the plate. You warmed up a blood bag and emptied the contents into a glass. Grabbing the glass and the food you turned only to find your way blocked by your friend.

Her lips twisted into a smile. “You love him, too.”

You arched a brow but said nothing. When you continued forward, she stepped to the side out of your way.

“You do. You’re mad at him and you’re still taking care of him.”

You simply sighed and gestured to the closed door in front of you with a nod. “Would you mind opening the door then getting lost, Bekah?”

She grinned but when she tried to open the door, she found it locked. She rolled her eyes. “Seriously?” She knocked harshly.

“Go away,” Klaus yelled.

Rebekah made to knock again.

“I got this,” you assured her. Your gaze followed her until she was out of sight. As your hands were still full, you kicked at the door in place of knocking.

“Damn it, Rebekah. Leave it alone,” he snapped.

“It’s not Rebekah.” You only raised your voice a bit, knowing he’d be able to hear you even over the music he had playing.

Sure enough, the music shut off and sounds came from inside the room as he did who knows what. When the door was flung open, he stood on the other side looking at you with wide eyes. His hair was a mess and it was obvious he’d had a hard few days. “Y/N,” he breathed then stepped aside to let you in.

You held up the food and blood. “Rebekah said you haven’t eaten.”

“Is that why you came here? To make Rebekah feel better?”

Bitterness laced his voice, but he took the blood and sipped just the same. You took a breath. “There are some things I need to say. I’d appreciate if you gave me the chance to say them.”

“Yes, just as you gave me a chance to explain myself.”

He turned away from you to stare at a painting as he drank the blood. You leaned against the table behind you. You ran your eyes over him, taking in the slump of his shoulders. This may be the only time you could remember seeing him look anything other than completely sure of himself. Your gaze shifted to the floor as you toed the carpet. “I fell in love with you, you know.”

You knew he was looking at you now, but you kept your eyes down, not sure you’d be able to get through this if you met his gaze.

“Would you—” He cleared his throat. “Would you repeat that?”

The corner of your mouth kicked up in a smile. You pushed yourself off the table and wandered through the room to look at the art as you talked. “Everyone hated you, but I admired how straight forward you were. You were up front about what you wanted and what you’d do to get it from the beginning.” You glanced at him with a smile. “Myself included.”

Your attention shifted back to the art in front of you though you’d seen it all before. “That’s why I never took you seriously when you flirted with me. I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you had the power to break me. And if I surrendered to what I wanted and you were only passing the time, that’s exactly what you would have done.” You swallowed past the lump in your throat. “I couldn’t agree to date you until I was certain you were serious about me. Us.”

“I am,” he said and you turned to face him. His gaze pierced through you, begging you to believe him.

“I know that. I do.” You sighed. “That night I came here intending to wait for you to get home. I thought even if we didn’t do the whole date maybe we could at least have a drink and cuddle in front of the fire. But when I got here, I saw the remnants of your dinner on the table and the fire burning in the background. Then I heard you talking to Hayley and I left.”

He took a step toward you. “Why didn’t you say something? Yell at me? Anything.”

You shrugged. “I was afraid to, Klaus. I was afraid you’d tell me that you picked her and everything was a mistake. It was safer to just not talk to you.”

Tears stung your eyes and you shifted your gaze away from him. When his hand cupped the side of your face, you leaned into his touch. He lifted your head so he could look into your eyes. “Katherine was trying to kill Hayley before she could tell me what she knew about her whereabouts. I was protecting her so I could get the information I needed. The dinner we ate was the dinner I’d arranged for you, actually. Absolutely nothing happened with her. She made it clear she wouldn’t have been opposed to it but she’s not my type.”

“She’s pretty.”

He hummed in agreement. “And annoying, deceitful, bitchy…shall I continue? Besides, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She couldn’t possibly compare. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t just talk to you. I just couldn’t bear to lose you. Not when I’d just gotten to call you mine.”

He chuckled and leaned closer until he was only a breath away. “I’ve been yours since the moment I saw you. And you’ll never lose me, Y/N. I promise.”

You closed your eyes, prepared to feel his lips on yours. When it didn’t happen, you frowned.

Klaus laughed and kissed your cheek. “First, love, I want you to repeat the very first thing you said when you started this conversation. I asked you to repeat it before and you ignored me.”

Heat flooded your face. “What thing might that be?”

His growl was a rumble deep in his chest. “Y/N.”

You decided to take pity on the hybrid and grinned as you grabbed his face in your hands. “I love you, Niklaus Mikaelson.” You tugged him forward and slammed your lips into his.

***

TVD/TO: @swanky-batman @violentmommabear42 @theroyalbrownbarbie @aomi-nabi @livinglion

All the Things: @swanky-batman @rissyrapp20 @startrekkingaroundasgard @spooookyscary @taylordrunkonwhiskey

#niklaus mikaelson #Klaus mikaelson #Klaus x reader #niklaus Mikaelson x reader #the originals #the originals imagine #the originals fanfiction #niklaus Mikaelson fanfiction #Klaus Mikaelson fanfiction

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

Text

Druck season 2, episode 7 reaction

Goddamn, Druck. I’ve been dragging my ass with the rest of the S2 reactions because honestly, the content is pretty rough and rewatching it requires a certain amount of emotional fortitude, lol.

Anyway, here’s me putting myself through S2 hell so I can catch up to recap S3 hell!

Episode 7

Clip 1 - Interesting choice of entertainment

As I mentioned in the last reaction, I thought we might start with Mia calling off their relationship, as if last night was her way of saying goodbye to Alex, getting in just a little more time together because she did as Kiki asked. But obviously that wasn’t the case, because Mia and Alex are very much still in bed together.

They are sitting up and watching a movie on a laptop. In the movie, a woman kisses another woman. We cut away to Alex and Mia sitting there stiffly, sneaking glances at each other, as we hear the scene get sexy, with zippers unzipped, lots of panting and wet smacking sounds. Both of them clearly getting turned on by this video. Alex shifts and I think he covers his lap a little more, lol. He shifts closer to her and “subtly” puts his hand out for the taking. I love that Mia notices and smirks a little but doesn’t seem to take his hand.

This whole part of the scene was so weirdly true to life, lmao, if you’ve ever ended up watching a film that was more explicit than expected with someone. I had a friend who ended up watching Y Tu Mamá También on like a first or second date, neither of them knowing what the movie was about, and it was apparently very awkward.

Finally he turns off the film and kisses her. She leans away eventually and starts asking him about the scene - whether he was turned on by her or the scene. He’s like … both? He asks whether Mia watches porn and she says yes.

There was some debate about like … whether it’s in-character for Mia to watch porn or whether it’s hypocritical of her to do so as a feminist, and I don’t want to even get into the larger debate about whether porn can be feminist because holy shit is that a can of worms, but whether or not you think it’s compatible for Mia to watch porn with her being a feminist, people do a lot of stuff that isn’t 100% in line with their ideals. A lot of feminist criticism also opposes makeup and believes it to be a product of patriarchy, but Mia wears lipstick anyway. So just on the level of whether this is consistent with her as a character, i don’t think it’s wildly OOC.

There was also a lot of (understandable) debate about them watching a lesbian sex scene while still dodging a clear answer about Mia’s sexuality, especially right after Kiki made that comment about Mia being bi in the previous night’s clip, which again went unanswered. By the end of the episode they did give us an answer, but watching in real time made it feel more like they were drawing out the answer. I guess I’m wondering just why they chose to do so? Was it to tease the audience, or were they trying to find a way to drop the answer in naturally (because I can think of places where they could have done so earlier), or was there intended to be a reason story-wise that Mia’s a little vague? Is it just because it’s related to her romantic history, and it’s difficult for her to mention? Because she could mention her bisexuality without talking about specific relationships, although it’s true people might ask whether she’d ever been with a girl.

I think the most likely reason is perhaps that the Druck team didn’t expect just how much people wanted from them about Mia’s bisexuality, and they wrote in more scenes mentioning it after they saw fan reaction.

About the video they’re watching - it’s called Wach and it’s apparently by Funk (the channel that does Druck). You can watch it on YouTube although it seemed kind of dreary so I confess I didn’t watch much of it, lol. If it’s really good and I’m missing out, let me know! Anyway, the movie’s about two girlfriends but in the scene Mia and Alex are watching, they’re having a threesome with a guy. Not sure if there’s any bigger significance other than the nod to something else from Funk, and nudging at the topic of Mia’s sexuality, or the sex topic between Mia and Alexander.

He suspects she has a bigger reason for asking and draws a question mark on her forehead. This dude needs to take improv classes already, that’s clearly where his heart lies. Also, I think Mia might be asking why he’s turned on to get his opinion about two women together? I mean, I guess that could be the in-universe explanation why the talk about her sexuality is a little vague is that she wants to see how he’ll react first.

They have a pillow fight and she shoves him out of bed, he runs back into the room and tackles her and they roll around. WATCH THE LAPTOP! Eh, I guess Alex can afford another one.

They’re playful and cute. Things get heated and he slips his hand to crotch level, which makes her shake her head and back off. He asks her what’s allowed. LOW BAR, I know, but at least he doesn’t pressure her to go father than she wants. It’s sad and I don’t want to praise him for showing basic human decency, but William’s comments when Noora didn’t want to sleep with him, saying it was a funny joke and such, or that he’d managed to sleep with her soon anyway, always bothered me, so I’m glad this wasn’t recreated in Alexander.

Mia gives him the finger, and then adds another, which is deeply fucking iconic, and we end as he slides his hand down her pants. Well, damn. A big departure from Noora, not so surprising because Mia has a lot of differences from her (such as drinking alcohol when Noora did not). Part of me is proud of Mia for being upfront about what she wants and setting boundaries for what she doesn’t, the other part is like ohhhhh nooooo, girl. You told Kiki you’d break up with him, you don’t want to go any deeper with him! (...pun intended.)

Clip 2 - Bubble bath

Mia and Alex are taking a bubble bath together, lying at opposite sides. That’s quite intimate. They are doing some types of The Sex at this point even if it is not The Whole Shebang so maybe not surprising, but certainly we’re seeing their physical relationship escalate as a faster pace than Noorhelm. They seem comfortable in there together. Alex says they should stay in there as long as they can. Like, days. Well, if you can tolerate pruning, cold water, and marinating in your own filth for that long, go for it.

Mia offhandedly mentions Alex’s grade retention and he looks tired and not ready to talk about it. That water just got a few degrees colder.

He asks why she’s so cautious, if it’s because of Kiki. Mia lies to him that she talked to Kiki and everything’s cool. MIA, NO. Really???? Not a good idea. You’re not only disrespecting Kiki with what you’re doing now, and lying to your friends, but now you’re lying to Alexander, too. I know that she probably just wants to stay in this bath and in this bubble of Alexander’s apartment where everything’s OK and she gets what she wants and no one is mad and her personal life isn’t messy, but this is not the way to go about it.

OH SHIT he actually asked about negative experiences and whether that’s why she’s bi. Errrr, is he implying that she likes girls because she’s been burned by men? YIKES. Mia tells him that statement alone is reason enough to only date girls from now on. Okay, so is that confirmation of her bisexuality? (I guess if I have to ask, probably not the clearest it could be.) And she says that she could also ask why he only does one-night stands and moves fast. He says it’s complicated. So basically, despite becoming more intimate, literally lying here naked in this tub together, both of them still have some friction, both aren’t completely opening up to each other.

She chides him for his so-called hard life, with his nice car and apartment, and he reminds her that this is his sister’s flat, and we finally get an answer of sorts that his sister is in Bali. (By now we know the truth, but when this aired I wrote in my notes: “Super dark theory: the sister is dead and he means they scattered her ashes in Bali or something like that.”)

He talks about it’s hard with his parents and then says he wants to get out of the tub as the water is getting cold, which is one hell of a turnaround from wanting to stay in there for days like a minute ago. Mia says things are difficult with her parents, too, and she’s sorry. That makes him lie back down in the tub. Tension averted for now. They fist-bump. I guess their couple thing is hand gestures? Like Jonas has Hanna’s nose, meanwhile Mia and Alex are just flipping each other the bird and knocking knuckles. I can get into that, they certainly have a lot of options.

Clip 3 - Truth or dare

Mia and Alex step outside and turn off airplane mode on their phones. So they’re really hiding from everyone, huh, not even letting text messages come through. This is shady as hell that Mia’s doing this when she told Kiki otherwise. She’s lucky because this is holiday break, but she can’t camp out in Alexander’s apartment away from the rest of the world forever

Mia told the girls she was ill. DUDE. All of them were worried and checking in on her. I wonder how many of them truly believed her and didn’t have any suspicion of what she was really doing? Kiki in particular seemed to wonder how she was doing, and I’m not sure she totally bought Mia’s excuse. But whether she did or not, that must make Mia feel a ton of guilt. (Though she still doesn’t break up with him...)

I love this shot of Mia and Alex looking so small and uncomfortable once they stepped outside, like it’s overwhelming and harsh to leave their bubble.

They go back inside because it’s cold, or because they don’t want to face the outside world, and Mia is pensive. She spins around the thermos like it’s spin the bottle (and lmao when it lands between them, fixes it to point toward Alex) and says truth or dare. I wonder why she chose that moment to get some truth between them? Because she feels guilty about the lies she told her friends? Because she wants to know this thing she’s lying to them about is worth it, and that means she has to open up?

He says truth. She asks, “Why me?” He says it’s because she knows who he is. Which true, if you assume he means all the way from when she told him off about Kiki back in season 1. She’s been pointing out his flaws all along. And I mean, maybe he has a shit opinion of himself, but she wasn’t wrong about him (at least not entirely) and she didn’t fall for an idealized version of him, Alexander the rich bad boy with the cool car who’s the most wanted guy in school. She saw through that and she saw him at much of his worst, and yet somehow she’s here anyway. And I don’t know if this is exactly what he meant, but she also knows him in the sense that they have some things in common, like dealing with difficult parents, being Christmas orphans, etc.

Mia directs the thermos at herself and says truth. Bold move considering she knows what he’s probably going to ask; she’s really just ready to talk to him about it, and this is maybe an easier way to do so, framing it as a game. Alex takes a moment to think about what to ask and then asks why she’s so cautious. She tells the story of when she was 13 and she had a crush on her friend’s older brother, who was 18. He paid her a lot of compliments and she thought he liked her. He pressured her into sleeping with him, she didn’t want to but did it anyway, and then he never texted her again. Some people are school knew about it. She felt bad about herself and couldn’t talk to anyone.

The age of consent in Germany is 14, making what happened to Mia statutory rape. This adds perhaps even more impact to Mia reporting Bjorn later in the season, because it doesn’t sound like the first guy faced any repercussions for what he did; with Bjorn there is hope that justice will be served.

I think this explains a lot about why Mia was cautious about Alexander in particular, because he’s the kind of guy who was feeding girls compliments, sleeping with them, and cutting them off. Didn’t Alexander compliment Kiki’s stomach or something? And then of course Mia had a front-row seat to him ghosting Kiki after sleeping with her, and then seeing it all happen again like a slow-motion car crash. I really, really hope this makes him think about what he was doing with girls before Mia. Remember how he tried to justify himself in episode 2 about what he did to Kiki, not making her promises and saying how he couldn’t have torn down her self-image all by himself? Here he sees the long-lasting effects of that behavior on someone. Just think, there are probably Mias out there who will end up telling their stories to someone else, and the guy they’re talking about will be Alexander.

Alex is about to turn the bottle back to himself, but Mia stops it and says she also had a thing with a girl that ended before she came to Germany. No details on why it ended, if it was something really bad or more of a mundane breakup. Since she’s not going into details, I’m assuming whatever happened wasn’t horrible, but I’d still like to know more details about it.

Could they have handled Mia’s sexuality better? Yes, of course. But at this point I was just glad they addressed it directly. It would be nice if they touched on it in the future: we haven’t yet had the build-up of Matteo living in the flat, or being rescued by Hans, but with both Hans and Mia being members of the LGBT community, it would be really nice if they were able to support Matteo, and then we could hear more about Mia’s sexuality, too, like her past relationship, how she realized she was bi, etc.

He says no pressure, they have all the time in the world. THANK GOD. Low bar, I know, but I also still think there’s value in showing men being respectful and not pressuring women into sex? If you consider that the target audience is teen girls, this is a message that they need to be hearing - that they are allowed to set sexual boundaries and that boys have to respect them. And for teenage boys, while Alex has done a lot of messed-up stuff regarding girls, this part can still be used as a model for respecting boundaries and getting consent.

Clip 4 - I bet Hans and Linn ate the soup later

Mia and Alexander are in Mia’s room, ostensibly trying to study but very clearly hot for each other and making this a kind of foreplay. However, they don’t get very far until Hans comes into the room. He asks whether Alexander made “grumpy cat” angry, lmao. I love that nickname for Mia. He flops on the bed as if checking out the view of Alexander. Hans, what about Michi??

UNFORTUNATELY the doorbell rings and Linn opens Mia’s door, saying there’s a girl with soup. We hear Kiki’s voice. UH OH. Damn, Mia didn’t even really have time to like, try to shove Alexander under the bed or anything, did she?

Alexander says it’s totally OK with him. Um, I bet it is. Would be a great opportunity to be like, hey Kiki, sorry for dumping you on NYE? Although he doesn’t look totally OK with it, though that might just be because Mia is so visibly worried.

Lol, Hans thinks for a moment, clearly recognizing Mia’s distress, and then strips off his robe and throws it over Alexander, and hey, he was the only one doing anything smart in the moment? Maybe not honest, but smart? OK, not smart, but it was ... something.

Well, Alexander ain’t up for hiding under a robe, he takes it off as Kiki walks in with a big pot. She eyes Alexander and Mia, saying she made soup. She looks stunned at first, but then gets pissed and says it’s one thing for her to fuck up and apologize, but this is the worst. I have to agree, honestly. Mia put the burden on Kiki to tell her what to do, and then she didn’t even respect Kiki’s wishes. And then she lied to everyone. After that whole performance with cooking Kiki a nice dinner to talk about how sorry she was? This makes it seem like Mia just doesn’t give a shit about Kiki’s feelings, her crying and apologizing was an act to make Mia feel better, not Kiki.

I wonder if Kiki was really thinking Mia broke it off, or if she wasn’t suspicious. Like she was definitely suspicious after Sam put it out there a few episodes ago, and some of her moves were kinda calculated toward figuring out the truth. The soup may have been genuine goodwill, but maybe she also wanted to see if Mia was really sick, or if she was hiding something. Kiki did look very shocked when she saw Alexander, but maybe she was telling herself that no, Mia wouldn’t lie, Mia meant what she said, Mia cares about her. So this moment was confirming her worst fears.

Kiki angrily puts down the bowl of soup and I have to give her some credit for not throwing it or dropping it, which is what I was expecting.

Alexander asked her why she lied, and Mia says she doesn’t know. Errr, not a great answer, Mia. I have an idea why she lied. She wanted the moral high ground of “making things right” but didn’t want to actually give anything up. She wanted to ignore or run from the problems instead of dealing with them.

Mia says she can’t do this to Kiki. Alexander is pissed. Honestly, I can’t blame him for that. He has his flaws, too, for sure, and has been a shit to Kiki, but he also asked Mia if things were OK with her and Kiki, and she said they were, and now he’s finding out they weren’t and she’s using that as a reason to break up. I’d feel pretty betrayed. She also gave them a few days where they were extremely open with each other, took their relationship to the next level physically, got vulnerable with each other, and after that, she’s calling it off. When she knew all along that it was a bad idea - like she could have nipped this in the bud at the benefit concert. Instead it’s like she dawdled and made their relationship more intense and meaningful before ending it for a reason that’s been there the whole time, which is so much worse. (For Alexander, a dude who doesn’t get close to people? Even worse.)

Mia has massively fucked up but from a story perspective, I don’t mind it? I mean … that’s good for the protagonist’s growth. I like how messy Mia has been. I think it takes her off the “perfect girl” pedestal.

Clip 5 - Panic attack

Mia is lying in bed in the dark at 21:00, so you know, she’s called it an early night. I feel you, girl. She reads her texts from earlier, where she and Alex flirted and discussed him coming over to study. How nice things were just hours earlier. No new messages.

By the way, I can see the tear streaks on her face when she’s in bed, nice detail.

However, after she puts it down and rolls over, her phone lights up. She checks it and Alex is telling her to come over. Typing in all caps so it seems extra urgent.

As she’s running to Alexander, you hear some heavy breathing and rewatching the scene, it definitely sounds masculine, but when I first watched this clip I was so surprised by this development and why Alexander needed Mia that I wasn’t paying super close attention (also not watching with headphones), and I thought it was Mia’s breathing as she’s worried and running out the door. The reveal that this is Alex’s heavy breathing during a panic attack really stunned me. It adds so much tension to the scene as Mia is running to his place, obviously heavy breathing is something that reminds you of dangerous or tense scenarios.

She runs up the stairs to his place and his door is open, the lights are dim. The way the camera follows her is really disorienting, it’s hurried, it’s shaky. The lights make everything eerier - it’s dark and the sign on the wall makes the room pink, it’s not unnatural. Watching Mia run through his apartment trying to find Alex feels like navigating a maze.

Mia calls out for Alexander and eventually finds him in his underwear in a corner, sobbing and hyperventilating. You can see him clearly in the light but there’s still something unfocused about it. Mia grabs a paper bag from the kitchen and has him breathe into it. He’s crying and saying he wasn’t there. Holy shit, this is a panic attack?

Mia holds him as he cries and gasps for breath. He asks her to stay, she says she’s not going anywhere. She makes a joke about it still being 50 euro with breakfast and he manages to laugh.

This pose at the end is definitely giving off Pietà vibes.

The camera goes from extreme closeups as Alex is gasping to pulling back once he lays in Mia’s arms and calms down a bit, once he’s able to breathe and laugh at her joke. Like we’re getting breathing room. The music also goes from really tense to something more gentle once he relaxes in her arms and she says she’ll stay.

Goddamn. So instead of Mia having panic attacks/trauma, it’s Alex??? It was Noora who was panicking in OG, but we’ve switched the roles, Mia is the one to calm down Alexander.

Props to Druck for showing a dude having a full-blown attack like this, in a very non-glamorous and vulnerable way. Panic attacks in general can be pretty visceral and they’re not pretty, and I think some media shies away from showing male characters in really fragile states like this. And it’s definitely a reversal of a lot of media gender roles to have Mia the fully clothed one who��s “in control” helping out Alex, the half-naked, sobbing and shaking one. And for this not to be portrayed as something weak, but something healing. Also, big props to the actors. Chris Veres didn’t hold back in this scene.

This clip really got to me, especially as someone who has experienced panic attacks. The earlier scene with Kiki discovering Mia and Alexander together had ratcheted up the drama, but this was one of those clips where I couldn’t really do anything else after I watched it for a little while, it had gotten under my skin that much. It’s hard for me to unpack it. Even rewatching it unnerves me, though Mia’s gentleness and compassion, and the ending where she says she’s not going anywhere, make the experience more uplifting. Bravo, Druck.

I think it helped that it was so surprising too, like we already got a very important clip earlier in the day, and it was the drama we were all expecting, the next step in the Kiki/Mia/Alex situation, but this definitely was not what I was expecting next, both in that it’s a divergence from the original storyline and that I figured the next clip would build on Mia dealing with estrangement from both Kiki and Alex.

Clip 6 - Giddy up

Mia wakes up in bed with Alex the next morning. I like the contrast here from the last scene, just what a difference the daylight can make, feeling so much less threatening, and I like Mia’s reaction, as if she’s taking in all that happened last night. She looks at a Polaroid picture at the side of the bed, of Alex and his sister. The fact that it’s beside the bed tells you how much Alex probably looks at it and misses his sister.

Alex stir and wakes up. Heh, the crinkles of their pillows and sheets are so damn loud? I kinda love it, though, it reminds me of how good it feels to slowly wake up after a good night’s sleep. He tells Mia that he had a dream where he was feeling bad and cried in front of Mia, weird right? Mia agrees. It’s very quiet and they’re whispering. Comforting, talking about it and acknowledging it without having to go into the ugly details right now. And Mia isn’t grilling him over why he was having a panic attack or anything, just being gentle. She strokes the hair behind his ear and kisses him. They kiss softly and it gets a little more intense until Mia reaches for the jar next to Alexander’s bed and grabs a condom. They smile and Mia sits up on him and takes off her shirt. The music helpfully proclaims, “I’m a cowboy” so I mean, we know what position they used. Not surprising Mia would be on top.

I have zero problems with Mia and Alexander having sex sooner than the season finale, as with Noorhelm, although I was kinda like … is this reeeeally the best time to take this step, kids? Not because of Alexander’s panic attack, but more about Kiki walking in on them and finding out, and Mia thinking she can’t do that to Kiki, and what the hell they were going to do. It felt like they had a lot to talk about. But even so, I can definitely see why Mia felt it was the right time to take this step. There was no way Mia was leaving Alexander after last night, and clearly they care about each other a ton. It must have felt not just like waking up in the morning, but that they survived the night. The panic attack made Mia realize the total depth of her feelings, I think, and so I can fully see why it led to increased tenderness and intimacy.

Comparing Mia and Noora, Mia has trust issues and a bad experience with sex like Noora, but William did more stuff that would’ve broken Noora’s trust and made her question her feelings for him before they had sex. Noora and William kissed, then William was cold to her in front of his brother, so Noora was upset, then they made up, then William smashed a bottle over a guy’s head, then Noora was upset at that and questioned whether she could be with William, then before they could get back together, Niko happened. Since they’ve kissed, Mia hasn’t really had so many reasons to be upset with Alexander himself - it’s all about the situation with Kiki putting stress on their relationship. So I can see why the sexual element of their relationship, and the relationship as a whole, escalated much faster; Mia had more time to build up trust with him without that getting interrupted.

Clip 7 - Crew love is true love

Hanna and Mia are in the bathroom and Mia’s been telling Hanna how fast everything has gone in the last few days. It sure did! By the way, Hanna’s looking very pretty.

I like how they went from the cowboy song in the previous clip being a non-diegetic song and transitioned into this one as a diegetic song, with it playing at the Abi party now. That kind of stuff is clever, and it’s smoother than just choppily switching songs between scenes.

Alex is going to therapy now, which I love. I love that we have the Bad Boy Rich Dreamboat character seeking professional help for his trauma, I love that Druck is mentioning therapy rather casually, normalizing it. It’s not something that’s considered shameful or embarrassing, just a potential avenue for help. Mia says she doesn’t think it was his first panic attack, but she doesn’t really know why. (I’d understand if people were ehhhh about Mia telling all this to Hanna if you want, like IDK if Alexander gave her permission to tell people about his panic attack. Mia and Hanna seem to be pretty trustworthy about stuff like Matteo’s sexuality and they’re not trading it as juicy gossip, but I would get it.)

Hanna says Jonas also won’t talk to anyone, not even Matteo. Ohhh no. That boy might need some professional help, too, if he’s that much of a mess.

Hanna’s totally hugging turtleneck guy/not Gereven when they enter the club. Mia looks around and sees Kiki with Carlos. KIKI, TREAT HIM RIGHT. CARLOS, TREAT HER RIGHT. Kiki glares at Mia.

Carlos gets a drink the same time Mia does and says, “What’s up Judas?” Not gonna lie, that’s mean, but it made me laugh. He does the typical “ugh girl drama BITCH FIGHT” thing, and lmao, I can’t help but think of like Jonas/Toilet Sam tussling in the stairwell in S1. Yes, it’s all girl drama, boy fights just don’t exist, ever!

Carlos is like, it’s none of my business, he doesn’t want to get involved, but he’s getting involved (lmao) and tells her how Kiki was in a very bad state the last few days, and says it would be a good move to smooth everything out. He’s like, good talk, and walks off. Without paying either, lol. Mia pays for him. Well, I guess she has some groveling to do. God, that talk was ridiculous but benevolent of him? He’s looking out for Kiki’s well-being.

"Two angry birds” aka Sam and Amira (and lmao I love that nickname) come up to Mia. Indeed, they look angry. Mia says she’ll make it up to Kiki. I mean, she should probably apologize to the other girls, too, for lying and putting them all in this awkward position where they’re torn between friends.

Heh, there’s some banter among the girls about Sam being the only one who’s single and when Amira is like helloooo, Sam says she has Allah. Although it’s played more as a joke, this follows the same pattern of people disregarding the Sana character as someone who can have romantic relationships and feelings. She doesn’t count in the conversations about who in their group is alone and who’s not.

Mia follows Kiki to talk to her. She apologizes and Kiki just looks annoyed. I don’t blame her considering that Mia’s last apology with the dinner turned out to feel hollow, all words but not backed up with actions. Kiki points out she was a hypocrite. I love Mia and I feel sympathy for her, but Kiki is really really not wrong.

Maybe this is obvious, but I’m seriously just realizing how close this situation is to Eva/Jonas/Ingrid in S1 (or Hanna/Jonas/Leonie), even more than Vilde, Noora, and William were to that situation. Mia fucked it up with Kiki to a level Noora didn’t with Vilde.

Kiki interrupts and tells Mia what’s what - that if she had been honest from the beginning, Kiki wouldn’t have stopped her. But instead, Mia went to her when Kiki was heartbroken and basically made Kiki tell her what to do and give her her blessing. That’s exactly what happened! Mia put the burden on Kiki and basically said her happiness was in Kiki’s hands, like either Kiki had to be the villain and tell Mia to break up with Alex, or put aside her own feelings and be OK with it, even when she was the person who was wronged. Kiki didn’t feel like doing giving her blessing when she felt like shit and had been betrayed by a friend. And she didn’t expect Mia to listen, but Mia should’ve cared about her from the beginning. Kiki calls Mia out on being honest not just with others, but with herself. Kki used to compare herself to Mia, Mia gives all these moral lectures that sound smart and clever, but it’s not about what you say, but what you do. Well, shit. She’s right. And Mia needs to hear this. I’ve said this before, but I think their relationship is really complex this season. Messy, but complex. And this dynamic between them, with Kiki feeling like Mia didn’t really care, or was judging her, goes beyond just Alexander’s involvement. It’s not just fighting because of a boy.

Mia is apologizing and Carlos comes in to ruin the moment and be like “You straightened it out?” Lmao dude, don’t interrupt. He gives them all a shot, which is his attempt to play mediator, I guess, so he’s dumb but he’s trying. Kiki clinks glasses with him, then walks out. When Mia calls after her, Kiki says you still want my blessing? But you need yours. Whoaaaa.

Carlos and Kiki walk off hand in hand talking about her breasts. Well, I guess it’s nice that they’re appreciated without the surgery. Though obviously it’s about how Kiki feels about her body, not Carlos.

Mia stays behind and has a Moment, I guess she’s thinking about how she needs to go all in with Alexander, get rid of her remaining doubts. Then she goes out to meet her girls, they smile and dance. Finally Kiki smiles at Mia and they dance together. I love their little glance of reconciliation. The girl squad has a group hug. Awww!

Toilet Sam comes in and greets everyone! He’s talking to Hanna and OF FUCKING COURSE that’s when Jonas and Matteo roll in. Jonas sees Hanna and Sam and legit pulls a Granpa Smpson exit, lmao at Matteo’s exasperated exit after him. Poor Matteo.

Mia and Kiki dance together in the closing moments of the clip, and it’s a fitting ending. Yay, they’re happy again! Truly the next three episodes will only be good times and no more suffering!

Social Media/General Comments:

LMAO, I fucking lost it at all the passive-aggressive Instagram stories that Kiki posted after the dinner from last episode. She tagged only Amira, Hanna, and Sam, not Mia, posting pictures that didn’t include Mia, set to Little Mix’s “Shout Out to my Ex” for that extra bitter flair. Which you know, fits Kiki’s relationship with Alexander, but honestly feels more like Mia is her ex going by the pictures, lol. Then Amira, Hanna, and Sam respond by posting Kiki’s posts WITH Mia, like good lord, the dramaaaaa of it all. I mean, they’re all making a statement, that they’re not ditching Mia, but how must that make Kiki feel? But it’s all so teenage and petty and immature that I love it.

Jonas flakes on Matteo, saying he needs to study, but it’s more like he’s staying home and getting wasted. Matteo is worried and says they barely see each other anymore. Jeez. This is a total reversal of what we’ll likely see in S3, unless they are BOTH total messes in that season. Then it’ll be up to wise men Carlos and Abdi to step up for their bros. We did see Carlos having some sage advice in this episode, so maybe it’s not such a wild idea?

Matteo and Hanna talk later and Matteo lets Hanna know that Jonas isn’t doing well and that he failed a math test. I don’t think it’s Hanna’s duty to fix Jonas’ problems at all, but it’s nice that Matteo and Hanna are talking together and trying to help Jonas.

The other girls were gossiping about Mia and Alex. Amira figured out that Mia probably wasn’t answering because Mia was at Alexander’s place. Sigh, Mia. How long did you think you could keep your relationship a secret? It always gets out, as you just learned last week!!

Kiki posts a LOT of stuff about fake friends on IG after she discovers Mia and Alex together, and it’s pretty juvenile, but you know, hashtag relatable. And understandable. Super teenage.

I like that Amira reached out to Kiki and said she was there if she needed to talk. Kiki has been a shit to Amira on multiple occasions, but Amira remains a true friend. And I hope Kiki keeps this in mind the next time she wants to say something racist or insensitive (not that she would recognize it as such, probably).

Druck gave out hotline information for teenagers after the panic attack clip, encouraging them to talk to someone, which is great. Again, I love how they’re encouraging teenagers not to go through their problems alone, whether it’s through therapy, hotlines, or talking to trusted friends and family.

Amira talked about religious discrimination on Instagram and how difficult it is to get into public service in Germany when you wear a hijab. She’s mentioned this before, when the girls were meeting with career counselors, and I really hope that we somehow get a S4 despite the girls’ graduation so we can get an Amira season. I would love to see her story talk specifically about her ambitions and how she tries to achieve them despite people constantly telling her she won’t be able to make it as a Muslim hijabi. Just send Amira to Australia and she can have a life-changing backpacking adventure. It would be amazing. (Skam never gave us the Evak + boy squad Morocco trip we deserved, so I am down for Druck providing that awesome travelogue content.)

I am not German so please feel free to correct me or clarify me on cultural and language matters.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#druck reactions #druck

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chokememrstark · 6 years

Text

The Soulmate Sam Never Asked For // Part 1

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2432 (Chapter 1 / 12)

Fic Summary: Sam absolutely hates the idea of soulmates and when he meets his own he stubbornly refuses to accept what fate has in store for him. Lucifer, his supposed soulmate, actually scares him to no end and he cannot imagine ever feeling any different, no matter what. The more time passes, however, the more he finds himself involved in his soulmate's life against his will. Soon, he's faced with the truth about the rude and cold punk's actual self and has to decide if he turns his back at his soulmate or does what feels right for him, despite the possible consequences.

college!AU, human!AU, soulmates!AU, dysfunctional families, abusive parents, dramatic romance, or romantic drama, your choice, big brother!Lucifer, soulmates hating each other, referenced alcoholism, death and abuse, some violence, and lots of feels, fluff and cuteness, some drama but not too much, lots of bickering, and two damn stubborn soulmates (!!)

Note: My lovely beta reader @brieflymaximumprincess called this a rom-com and even though I don’t believe it is, in my eyes, it does have certain elements of it. This is not the angst you know from me, not at all.

Yes, there is some drama, but there is also a lot of sweet and cute moments, much more than the dramatic ones. I guess you could say I accidentally wrote cute fluff? Because it was not intended, but here we are.

This fic is already completed and will be posted by the regular schedule from now on: Thuesday, Thursday and Saturday! So, enjoy ♥

Tagging: @shebahda @sassysupernaturalsweetheart @spnyoucantkeepmedown @brieflymaximumprincess @multifandomhcsforinsanity @etysky @justasmalltownsuperwholock @humongouscandycoffee @blakechaos08

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

Soulmates are bullshit, that was always Sam’s motto. Who wanted to spend the rest of their life with someone just because fate decided they had to be together? Worked out great for his parents in the end, with his mom dead and his dad becoming an alcoholic. He had decided a long time ago that he didn’t want his soulmate, no matter who it would turn out to be. It wasn’t as if he wouldn’t have enough problems without a relationship already anyways.

Sam was in college for a year now and things were stressful, to put it mildly. The last year had gone by faster than he thought was possible and even his summer holidays seemed to be over in a heartbeat. Now that his brother had volunteered to take him back to campus - a week earlier than necessary because Sam had insisted on it - he felt like he could use two more months to calm down completely.

“Relax, Sammy,” Dean grinned and tapped on the steering wheel with his fingers in sync with the music. “You’re going back to what you enjoy the most, studying your ass off, isn’t that something good?”

“Yeah, easy for you to say,” Sam huffed and crossed his arms. “You weren’t the one who had to listen to dad’s monologue on how I’m wasting his money on becoming a vampire to society.”

“He hates lawyers, you know that.” Dean rolled his eyes. “You’ll see, once you get your diploma he’ll change his mind.”

“If he still has some brain cells left to think by then.”

Dean glared over at his younger brother for a moment, angry and almost judging, but Sam met his glare with the same look, and in the end, they both broke out in laughter that filled the whole car, even drowning ACDC with it.

“You’re not wrong, sadly,” Dean eventually sighed and turned on the blinker to switch lanes. “It’s getting worse with him lately. While you were there he was actually nice, I’m glad I can move out soon so I don’t have to live with how he’s gonna be again once you’re gone.”

“So you’ll take the room?” Sam raised a brow. “I thought you wanted to keep looking to get into a house with only girls.”

“Well, I had to change my plans.” Dean shrugged with a smirk. “The guys are pretty cool, two brothers actually, and they don’t care for what I do as long as I pay the rent.”

“Sounds like heaven,” Sam groaned. “My pothead roommate luckily dropped out, so I won’t have to deal with him anymore. Thank God!”

“As long as it doesn’t get worse with the next one,” Dean pointed out, and Sam literally shuddered at the thought.

“I’m gonna drop out too if the next one is worse, trust me.”

Sam had no desire for a new roommate and as far as he knew no one was scheduled to live with him yet, but unfortunately that could change any day. He hoped to be able to use the first week to plan out his classes and everything in peace; a new roommate wasn’t at all what he wanted.

“You think Dad will manage?” Sam asked instead of continuing the topic, to which Dean shrugged.

“Probably,” he answered. “Either that or we’ll get a call one night that he wrapped his car around a tree. We can’t change it, Sammy, you know that. He just doesn’t care anymore.”

“Yeah,” Sam sighed and looked out the window. “He never recovered from her death, am I right?”

“Happens when you lose your soulmate,” Dean just said, but it didn’t make anything better. For Sam, it only made things worse.

There it was again: soulmates. Did the robber that broke into their house care about soulmates when he stabbed their mom twenty-two times before letting her die on the kitchen floor? Did the police care about soulmates when they interrogated their dad for hours and hours because they suspected him to have killed her? Did their dad’s boss care for soulmates when he fired him because he had to take care of two little boys all by himself and was completely overwhelmed? Of course not. No one gave a shit about soulmates if it wasn’t about their own. Sam hated it so much.

“I hope my soulmate died already,” Sam huffed, meaning every word. “I don’t care for this crap, look what it got us into.”

“You’re just bitter, that’s all. Once it happens you’ll forget this nonsense.”

“You’ll see,” Sam scoffed, dead serious. “I won’t let this bullshit dictate my life.”

Maybe he was bitter, so what? Sam had seen how much suffering and pain soulmates brought upon families and people, and he didn’t want to be a part of it.

The rest of their drive was mostly silent, but when Dean dropped Sam off at Stanford they hugged and Sam promised to be home for Thanksgiving, even though they both knew he probably wouldn’t be. Thanksgiving was always an awful time in their house, they both didn’t want to be there at that time. Maybe they’d see each other on Christmas, that was possible.

During the first week, Sam managed to calm down from his awful holidays slowly. He finished organizing his schedule and by the time the first other students came to campus at the end of the week, he was actually looking forward to his classes starting. Dean called him once to tell him he moved in with the boys, as he called them, and gave him his new address, but other than that nothing really important happened.

His second year officially started and Sam walked into his first class - that’s when things started to change. Sam suddenly began feeling very weird when the doors closed and their professor began speaking. He barely heard his first words because he was too confused by the strange tingling in his body and actually looked around the room to see if he could find the reason for this unusual sensation. At first, he didn’t even think about soulmates, he feared he was just getting nervous or sick when all other students looked at the professor - apart from one here and there that simply showed no interest at all.

Sam shook his head slowly and tried to concentrate, but it remained a difficult task as if something inside of him constantly wanted to look elsewhere. He barely managed to take any notes properly and cursed himself for screwing up his first lecture like that already when it was over. When he walked over to the next one, he truly hoped this annoyingly distracting feeling would go away. Much to his relief, he actually felt much better during his next lecture. Whatever had happened, Sam tried to convince himself that it was just random anxiety flaring up. The rest of the day went by rather smoothly, which helped him in believing his very weak excuse.

There was only one tiny problem that burst Sam’s happy little bubble the next day. While sitting in a different course, he began feeling the same tingling and lack of concentration again, this time much more intense, however. It got so annoying that Sam spent almost the entirety of the time looking at other students and searching for familiar faces in the crowd. By now he did fear that his body’s weird reaction was due to what he hated so much and it didn’t help at all. There were a lot of people he had seen in his first course already sadly, too many to narrow it down to one or two, and they all looked rather disinterested, unlike Sam.

Sam tried his best to ignore this feeling whenever it came back for the rest of the week, but it was nearly impossible. By Friday night, he was so exhausted that he couldn’t even eat before dropping onto his bed and falling asleep. It was draining to constantly ignore his body’s needs and go against his instincts.

When he woke up on Saturday, around noon, which never happened before, Sam decided to call Dean to find out if he knew what the hell was going on. Sadly, his brother knew exactly what he was talking about.

“You really have no idea, do you?” Dean asked, almost laughing at the other end of the line. Sam was not happy about this reaction.

“I have one and I don’t like it,” he huffed and plopped down on the floor. “Tell me I’m going insane or have Malaria or whatever, just not this!”

“Sorry, little brother, but it’s true. That’s your body’s reaction when your soulmate is near you.”

“Oh, come on!” Sam protested and threw his hands up. “Not here! Not now, goddammit! I’ve got lectures to attend, I don’t have time for this shit!”

“You can either live with it or try to find out who’s causing it,” Dean suggested, obviously still grinning like the idiot he was. “It’s your choice.”

“And how do I find out who they are?” Sam asked annoyed. “There are dozens of students and none of them looked like they had the same thing happening to them!”

“Then they hide it pretty well, that’s funny.”

“I’m not laughing, Dean! I called you to help me, not make it worse!”

“Okay, okay,” Dean laughed again. “Allow your brother some fun, geez. You can try to narrow it down if you’re patient, might work.”

“And how do I do that?” Sam was out of ideas and completely pissed off about this.

“Be in class first and watch who comes in. If you start feeling like that again, bingo! You got your soulmate.”

“Seriously, that’s your big advice?”

“A bullet to the head should get rid of it too but I doubt that’s very helpful.”

Sam groaned and slapped a hand against his forehead. As much as he hated to admit it, Dean’s idea wasn’t the worst. Searching for his soulmate his own way had not worked and he had no energy to walk around campus to maybe spot them somewhere. It was worth a try at least.

“I swear if it’s that ugly guy with the dreadlocks and piercings all over I’m gonna throw up and kill myself…” Sam eventually sighed, to which Dean laughed again.

“Who knows, maybe it’s a hot chick with big arguments? You won’t know if you don’t try to find out, right?”

“I’m gonna kill you one day, I hope you know that.”

“Of course, bitch. Tell me when you start dating the dreadlock guy, alright?”

“In your dreams, jerk,” Sam huffed and hung up, but he couldn’t hold back a smile at Dean’s last comment. The idea was laughable, but he still didn’t know who it was, so it might not be too far away from the truth.

Sam debated his new plan over the weekend - luckily he didn’t experience any weird distraction or sensation over those days - and came to the conclusion that it was the best idea he had. There was no downpouring rain when someone met their soulmate or bells ringing or anything like that, so there really was little else to do and find out. When Monday came and his first lecture was ahead, Sam walked into class thirty minutes early just to be completely sure.

At first, nothing happened. Several groups of girls walked in, giggling and laughing, but he felt no different than before. In fact, he didn’t feel anything at all for the whole thirty minutes and already cursed Dean in his mind for this stupid idea when the professor started talking, but then it suddenly happened and he basically spun around in his seat, eyes wide and heart beating mercilessly in his chest. He would have even been happy about the dreadlock guy when he realized who he was looking at right now.

“Mister Milton,” the professor said strict and very annoyed, to which Sam’s heart dropped in his chest. “I won’t tolerate being late to my lectures, this is your one and only warning.”

Sam wanted to hide in his seat when he saw the death glare the blond gave their professor, but all he could do was stare. The guy was definitely older than him, a few years probably, and looked like he jumped straight out of a punk band from twenty years ago. His blond hair stood up in spikes and his clothes were torn and ripped and had spikes everywhere possible. Even his face was creepy, kind of, with this slightly disgusted expression and the pierced lip and ears - Sam only saw one but he was sure both were covered in holes.

“No reason to wet your pants, go take a Valium or something...” the blond said with a low and grumpy voice that sent shivers down Sam’s spine and began walking towards an empty seat in the back row, maybe twenty feet away from the other.

“You can drop this attitude right here and now, Mister Milton,” the professor scolded the student again when he sat down and promptly put his feet down on his desk. “All it will get you is a trip to the headmaster. And now I would like to continue, since everyone arrived finally.”

“You can drop dead for all I care,” Sam heard his supposed soulmate mumble and his jaw nearly dropped at that.

As fast as he could, Sam turned around again, just so he didn’t have to look at this guy anymore. This couldn’t be, this had to be a joke! His soulmate couldn’t possibly be this rude punk that looked like he was in his mid-twenties already and that apparently thought he owned the world?! Sam covered his face in his hands and stopped paying attention to the professor altogether, just cursing himself for even listening to his stupid brother and his idiotic ideas.

During the whole class, Sam couldn’t bring himself to listen to his professor more than half-way, even though he tried his best to focus. He felt nauseous and nervous all the time and it just wouldn’t go away. At one point it was so bad that he couldn’t stop himself from looking up, of course promptly meeting a very suspicious looking pair of blue eyes. He blushed heavily and immediately turned back around, a cold stone in his stomach and his hands sweating like crazy. Dammit, he should have expected that. The guy was the reason he felt like this and it got even worse when he looked at him. Sam was sure he’d die within another week.

#samifer #sam x lucifer #sam winchester #spn lucifer #soulmate!au #college!au #human!au #kali writes fluff #how about that #this is a rar4re opportunity you should not miss XD #punk!lucifer #nerd!sam #does that not intrigue you ^^#myfics

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